KFC Radio - James Marsden || Frank Ocean's Controversial Coachella Performance Angered Fans

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

Timecodes: 00:00:00 Start 00:03:41 Selena Gomez got bombs 00:07:44 KFC's house renovation submission 00:14:19 FDNY vs LAPD Hockey game 00:39:20 Should KFC act differently now that he's rich? 00:54:57 Washing blankets/ fear of sheets 01:10:32 All of Feits' furniture comes from girls he's slept with 01:20:12 Love is Blind Live Reunion Crashed Netflix 01:23:40 Frank Ocean was a Diva at Coachella 01:29:42 Tim Riggins is not Toxic 01:36:08 The internet has ruined home runs 01:40:24 Texting Caroline the sappiest text possible 01:44:24 Video Voicemails 02:00:31 James Marsden Interview ++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Pirate Water: Go to https://barstool.link/drinkpiratewater to find pirate water in a location near you Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://barstool.link/GametimeApp, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What the heck is this? Like, every time I went to the bathroom, I had to scrub the toilet. I didn't think there was anything wrong with that. That was insane. Are you ready for this? KFC Radio is coming to Texas. We have Houston, Austin, Dallas.

Austin and Dallas are, I think, Austin I know literally has two tickets left. Yeah. I don't know. Dallas is all but gone as well. Houston, we did have a fuck-up. We had, like, they went on sale. You could only buy a table. Like, it was a fucking club. And I think you could only go, like, groups of four or something or something like that It's insane I don't know why that would ever happen

Who has four friends certainly not our listeners So We have fixed that You can buy I think one or two or three or four Definitely at least two I don't know You don't have to buy a whole You can buy individual tickets

All the loaners that are out there. So please, if you're thinking about coming, come. We would love this entire trip to be sold out. We apologize that there was this delay in getting Houston fixed. We actually didn't even know about it until the other day. So please, go buy Houston, Austin, Dallas. We will see you soon. We're jacked up for that.

Boston, I think, is sold out. Stanford, I think, is sold out. Just Houston. Let's fucking do We will see you soon. We're jacked up for that. Boston, I think, is sold out. Stanford, I think, is sold out. Just Houston. Let's fucking do it. See you soon. Presented by Pirate Water. They will be Pirate Water. If you're having a hard time finding it, I know where you can find it.

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It's another edition of KC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. I closed on my house today. Oh, congratulations. I didn't know that. I got to move. Again. You see we got an email from Zonker. No.

What did he say? Someone emailed him about the renovation thing. Oh. zonker no what do you say someone emailed him about the renovation thing oh and uh the um he replied and he's like i'm torn because you seem like a nice artist or something like that and i don't want to be a dickhead to you however i hate barcelona sports and i'm usually a dickhead here is their actual email address well i'm torn right now uh whether i should be a dickhead or not but i i think we've got to show that one submission that I showed you. That was – It's one of the funnier things, truly, one of the funnier things I would come across ever at Barstool Sports. I got an email that back in the day, if I had gotten it when I was blogging, i would have been over the moon because the back in the day

of barstool when you got an email submission so you knew you were the one who had it a video a story whatever and the world didn't have it yet the other bloggers didn't the internet didn't have it yet you were like this is mine like i'm the only one who has this and that's really what built barstool was like those those blogs that were like this guy told us this yeah so i would and if i got this back in like 2009 2010 11 i would have been like let me i'll send you this the screen recording of it and i don't want to shit on this guy because he you know he's trying to do a nice thing for me old age i am i am but you know he's trying to do a nice thing for me. You're soft in your old age. I am. I am. But he's trying to help me out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to do the right thing.

And we text a lot, man. Yo, Selena Gomez. Come on, man. Selena Gomez. Selena Gomez is – I'm just going through me and Feidelberg's text messages, and this was one of them. I sent a picture, which he didn't reply to. I didn't. You're right.

I'm sorry. Well, it was at 7 in the morning on Saturday. Me and you have somehow flipped. I'm sleeping, dude. It is Selena Gomez. I don't even follow her, so I think it was a suggested for you post. It's Selena Gomez in a beater. I know what you're about to say, and it's very true,

and maybe the funniest thing you've ever said. If you – I actually wouldn't mind to Photoshop if you guys got time to do it. If you just Photoshop off Selena Gomez's arms and just look at what the shape the beater has, it's Frank the Tank's body. It is. She's got the heaviest out. Her tits are crazy right now.

I'm going to come out and show the picture so people know what I'm talking about. That, like, slope of those tits are – it's not – and I know people talk about her appearance a lot, and I'm not knocking you, girl. Do your thing. But these tits are out of control, dude. And you know those nipples are the size of dinner plates. Fucking dinner plates, dude. You know, how long were you working on the photo?

It's just, you know what it is? They're just like out of place. You could put that beater in the gambling cave and it just slumped in a seat. It would fit right in. It's like, oh, that's one of Barstool's employees. That's one of the guys in the pig pen, as Dave calls it. I think these tits are, you know, like if you're a – We're being exceptionally complimentary, by the way.

Dude, if you're a tit guy're being exceptionally complimentary, by the way. Dude, if you're... I mean, if you're a tit guy, this is, like, hitting the jackpot. Did you see Ice Spice and Nicki Minaj posted a picture of them, like, from down looking up, looking down at their shoes, like, in high heels with their toes out? And, like, the internet was, like... Music video. Oh, it was a music video? Oh, okay. So even better.

Yeah. I mean, people were just, like, oh, man. Can't get away for free. This is like they are – those tits are like out of control. And it's like there are plenty of girls who have huge tits, but like we've just seen her our whole lives and they just were not that big, right? Was she hiding them? I don't know. It's the angle.

It's – I don't even – I would consider myself in my later years I've become a boob guy. And I am looking at that in a completely non-sexual way just like, whoa. I'm looking at that like I look at the Grand Canyon. I'm like, that is crazy. I didn't even know that happened in the wild. Your titties are so big they remind me of the Grand Canyon world these are the eighth wonder of the world what the fuck this is the eighth and ninth wonder of the world is selena gomez's two tits i don't even know this is a screenshot of instagram so this was posted by complex oh okay it said selena gomez appreciation post as the caption yeah and then the only comment nice little loophole they found there. Yeah. The only comment

was Complex replying to somebody, which I can't see what the comment was. It just was, what's the point of this comment? So you know that

Jay Shlomo was just like, these tits are fucking bombs or whatever. Complex needed to come in. Or also, but it's one of the, Complex knew what they were doing

when they put up the post. And they'd be like, oh, what are you, whoa, whoa, don't fucking do that. You know what you were doing when they put up the post. And they'd be like, oh, what are you – whoa, whoa. Don't fucking do that. You know what you were doing? You opened the gates. You said Selina Gomez was a big appreciation post. I know what you were fucking thinking when you posted that picture.

No, that's – That's like fucking when someone does like a fucking Bible quote or some other fucking philosophical bullshit in like a bikini pic. Like you're not – you're just fucking looking for an excuse to post the picture. Corinthians 4.15 while you're literally pulling apart your butt cheeks. Okay, wait. I sent you a screen video. Okay, here it is. So this dude emailed me.

So I think I posted it on Instagram and I talked about it on the podcast, but at the very, very end, last episode. So if you don't know, I got my house and I'm now looking to renovate some of it and I want to try to make like the first ever – nobody has done that before, have they? I keep saying first ever at Barstool. Has anybody done like a home renovation thing? Yeah, I didn't think so. So I thought just like everything else we've ever done, capture like that content but in the Barstool style. Be honest about it and talk shit about it and you can you know you don't have to be all buttoned up like abc extreme home makeover so i was like anybody who

can uh anybody who can do like the actual work any contractors plumbers electricians anybody who can do the design and appliances and and all the decorating all that shit and so i've been getting a lot of emails and some of them are very legit. Some of them are like too legit. I'm like, you are fucking like above my pay grade. And then some of them are like this. And God bless this guy. But Homeboy sent me a video,

sent me an email. Wait, did it? Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry. Sent me a video saying, congrats on the new house.? Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry. Sent me a video saying, congrats on the new house. My name is blah, blah, blah. I'm a long-time listener and first-time voicemail leader.

And he sends me this, all these pictures of his apartment. I don't know if you remember them. Oh, I remember. They are just straight-up pictures of a completely below-average dude's apartment. Well, I'm going to say this a completely below average dude's apartment. Well, I'm going to say this. It looks better than my apartment.

Yeah. So it's a step up. Okay. Well, you're like – so let's say he's – My apartment, I've been there almost three years now, is still just a bunch of paintings on the floor. I haven't hung up anything. Right. Those are the stages.

There's the people who just don't even try in the psych ward. They just have – I used to – I remember my senior year of college, we called our apartment the detention center because it was just white walls. It felt like you were in a facility. Bro, when I'm on like – You were being detained by somebody in Guantanamo. It was the detention center. When I'm on like the dozen, I get my couch pillows and I put them on my couch. So it doesn't just look like –

So it's a little – there's a little pop of color in there because it's just a gray couch and a white wall behind me yeah but over coming live from his fucking padded room it's like in the pandemic when like celebrities were just getting a little corner to make it look like like oh fight doesn't want to show you the apartments with this little corner no that's just my whole apartment it's just a white wall this is my asylum that I live in. Well, so yeah, there's the guys who don't even try. Then there's the guys who are like you who bought some shit but don't even hang them. And then there's these guys who try.

But I mean go watch the YouTube to really get the full effect. But if you're listening, he sends some pictures that are just like from his kitchen and i know the point of it is to show some of the paintings that he hung on the wall but in the process he's just showing me like pictures of like a cluttered kitchen counter there's just like shit on the counter like a roll of toilet paper and some hot sauce bottles and some fucking solo cups and like a tape measure and a sponge. It looks like an apartment back when I used to get like sublite laces and shit like that, like summer spots on Craigslist. It looks like all the pictures that would be on the Craigslist for the summer, except the person who posted it would have attached a note that says college kids are living here. Yeah.

It will be cleaner. Right, right, right. Yeah. It will be cleaner. Right, right, right, yeah. How about my favorite is this one, where there's just like that second one there at the top. That's the art corner. Yeah, but like, yeah, there's just like, there's just like shit falling down.

No, it's literally, it's his art corner. That's a tarp. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I get that, but it's just funny that- Oh, it's just not well put up. Yeah, like it's just like the one corner is hanging off, and the other one's falling down. It looks like blinds, but someone accidentally ran through them. Broken blinds.

This TV room, quote-unquote, with the chair-slash-couch is facing... There's a desk that's facing this way, let's say, and then there's a tv facing across that with a couch a futon on the back wall with the futon like the the the slats or those are called are exposed yeah the wooden like slides uh and then just like a full-blown man cave with skateboard decks all up on the walls and like sneakers hanging from the wall and you know again this is like this is i'm sure i hope this is a dude like in a path situation

like living with four other guys who like you know they like to skateboard and like like rap music so they put up like platinum records and shit like yeah it looks a lot like our studio um and now i'm not above that but i am like beyond that in the sense of like i'm not there anymore and if you looked at like some of the other emails coming in are people like you know i've done like so-and-so's house and this channel and this this you know what i mean uh so this dude the best part of the pictures don't even really tell the story i love his his email he says i saw your ig post explains you want to find people to make contact now full disclosure i don't have a company or anything like that so i've only decorated my own place i mostly get artwork and sports memorabilia but i have other cool stuff mixed in as well i've attached the pictures of all

the rooms i've decorated so far like oh cool okay great i don't really do what you need uh and i love i the biggest thing i think with your project is getting your personality onto your walls without making it look cheesy or just like another space you would see on some boring design blog like i get what you mean but this is not the other side of the coin i don't think but that the the problem of putting your personality on the wall is then you're reminded daily of your personality of your personality i wish it was a different person. If you were to put your personality on the wall, what would you do? Ah, boy. I don't.

I guess I have it. That's why. Why you're just blank. That is. It's just. It's like a psychological experiment. I exist. I guess.

Yeah, like your personality is a blank white wall. Yeah, I'm just here. I'll be whatever you want me to be. Yeah. Yeah, personality Is a blank white wall Yeah I'm just I'm just here I'll be whatever you want me to be Yeah Yeah I'm a blank canvas You tell me Yeah don't think of it as just like a

A white wall Undecorated The world is your oyster If you want to change it I'll change for you right away I'm a chameleon I'm a chameleon A.K.A

That's what I think Incredible Whose side are you on? Me too Dude I did that While we were at the NYPD FDNY games weekend Everyone calls me That's what I think. Which side are you on? Me too. Dude, I did that while we were at the NYPD FDNY games weekend. Everyone calls me. Who you got?

Who you rooting for? Look at this shirt. That one. FDNY. NYPD. Speaking of, I want to go through some of the topics one-minute-man style here. The FDNY NYPD hockey game was this weekend. Shout-out to Chicklets and Jake Marsh and them doing like a full. Did what full what netflix couldn't do live event yeah we'll talk about that as well um i i did not know that the fdny i know the cops and firemen you know have bad blood in like a playful way and

some people probably in an individual manner like a real way I did not think at their charity hockey game that they're dropping the gloves and fighting. Like, blah, blah, blah, blah, those real fights. It was a, yeah, I did know that. But, yes. Every year? Yeah, I think they fought at MSG last year. I don't know.

I don't follow it all that closely. Do they now fight on purpose? Oh, these were two, yeah, these fights. There were scraps throughout the game, but the two fights that you saw online were premeditated. Premeditated in the sense of let's put on a show or I don't like. You know what I mean? Almost like we have to fight now. We fought a couple years ago.

The fans loved us, so now we have to fight. No, I mean it seemed like those weren't like. There was bad blood. Yeah, I've seen hockey fights where it's like, ah, we'll give them a go. Those seemed like they were. That second guy got knocked out. Really? If you watch the video, the second fight, me and Nate were arguing about it actually.

He was like, he wasn't out cold. I'm like, dude, that guy was out cold. What are you talking about? That's dangerous. Like not – like, you know, he got up and he was fine. But like, you know, when you get fucking punched, square in the jaw, sometimes you lose consciousness. Yeah. Like he was – he he had arms up imagine you're i mean i guess you know maybe this is not the right the right uh situation but like because

you're talking about guys who like legit put their lives on to go to work so their family's like used to this shit but imagine you're like that that guy's wife or whatever and you're like like you know daddy's gonna be in the charity game today and he got he gets knocked out unconscious it was the kids have to watch his dad slump to the fucking ice. Dude, and then you become, like, I guess that's the gift and the curse of Barstool carrying it, is that, like, Barstool posts it, like, knock the fuck out. Dude, I have no work to beat tomorrow. Well, that's the thing. Like, not only that, but, and, like, I don't know this guy's name.

I don't remember it, but the boys in the firehouse do. It was. I believe it was Hall. I forget. One guy had Hall. The other one just had Bravest. Well, that's one of the things I noticed. I noticed that the police had their own names on the back.

All the cops have Bravest. All the firefighters have Bravest. Maybe a little more of a – You play for the name on the front, not the name on the back. Oh, okay. Yeah. I was going to say, cops stink and firemen are awesome. Let's just be honest.

That's what the – I think it was Herb Brooks. You play for the name on the front, not the name on the back. If you put the name on the front and the back, you're playing doubly for that team. I mean the firefighters ran show. It was – Wait, did they? It was 4-0 10 minutes into the game. I was stunned.

The cops came back. The player on the other cops, Donahue, was actually fucking nice. They actually were not – I don't know if he was gassed. Everyone was gassed by, Donahue, was actually fucking nice. They actually were not... I don't know if he was gassed. Everyone was gassed by the end of that game. That's hard. But he should have been double-shifting towards the end. And I do not think he was out there as much as he should have been.

That's funny. If you wanted to come back, Donahue, you had to get two fucking snipes. They're better than I thought. Like, watching... They are better than you think. But the silly... Not silliness of it. That's not the right word.

The funny thing of it is, to start the game, you're in a packed UBS arena you got fucking bagpipes, you got national anthems, you got rivalry you got all this stuff. And then once the pageantry and the pomp and circumstance is done it is, at the end

of the day, a men's league hockey game. So you're gassed up like it's a pro game and then the puck drops and you're like, oh yeah now we're gonna play your old police officer so totally but i'm saying i expected they're very they're way better than you yeah like like i i thought it was gonna be like like no no no and like you know they can move they can skate i think like like most people can't skate you know what i mean like that's the x factor with hockey always is like oh that's they told me that we were watching the game. Nate was talking about playing hockey.

Nate was like – he was like, could you do that? I was like, skate backwards? Yeah. Nate was like, that's why I had to stop. I was like, why? He's like, skating is hard. I was like, what are you talking about right now? Well, yeah, because he played roller hockey.

That's what he said. He's a twice-trained roller. And I was like, you had to stop playing the sport because you couldn't do the sport i had to stop playing basketball i couldn't that's like you watch someone in batting practice and they were like hitting ropes like could you do that yeah that's why i didn't play yeah i can't hit you can make three pointers i can't but like they you know i was I'm sure the first couple minutes were way different than the last few minutes. But those guys, did Boomer size the play?

I feel like sometimes you get their coaches in it. It's just firemen and cops. I believe so. You know, like celebrities, if you will. I didn't pay that close attention during, like, introductions and stuff like that. But the, I also think it's a very funny event to be at because the, like, I mean, the crowd is what you imagine the crowd is.

It's a bunch of people on Long Island who are firefighters and cops. Yeah. You can imagine what that's like. You got to get that, yeah. They're selling beer at. Yeah, yeah. In fact, when the cops went down 4-0, we were like, this might be the most dangerous building in America right now. No joke.

Everyone's fucking shit-faced. Frankie goes goes a lot of glocks and jeans here it's a very funny environment like i i was i was i was whispering to people like during the introductions and stuff and then i was even texting whitney while i was on the broadcast i was like i'll give you a thousand bucks didn't need her in the anthem telling everyone biz voted for Biden. I was having a blast. Like, oh, we love Biz. I was like, hey, vote for Biden.

He's actually trans. I don't know if you guys knew that. He drinks Bud Light. It was wild. It was very, very, very fun. Not on the scale that they did it. We're not going to broadcast it, and it's not nearly as big of an event. But in August, I believe, is the baseball game.

Cops, Firemen, High School baseball game. And they play hardball. I don't think it's softball. It's a baseball game. And we got to believe it's going to go like – I think we're going to vlog it. We're not broadcasting it and all that shit. But it's like – it's the real – it's at Citi Field. Oh, really?

Yeah, it's like the first time they're doing it at a stadium. It used to be at like a – I think like the Cyclones, one of their single A teams or whatever, but they're doing it at Citi Field. I think, knock on wood, I think we're going to get David Wright because of that because he's like the ambassador. Really? Who, I mean, David Wright like is a ghost in the wind. He's like Kaiser Sosa. Like he disappeared, bro.

I mean, he like has done a couple Mets things, but really not. Yeah. You know? If you told me David Wright was dead, I would have said, yeah, I think I knew that. So I would love, I mean, he's so buttoned up that he'll probably be media trained and just be like, we're out here to support the good men and women of the force. Dude, I think that that's almost – I was almost doing that just now and I was like stepping – like walking on eggshells about making fun of – it's a very Union Long Island crowd. And I think – I almost like how some people get upset like you can't call them that

or whatever we're like those people have a good sense of humor the n-word? huh? the n-word? no no I was thinking trans is

I'm joking black people it's trans now it's they them what do you call them it's like I don't know the people I hang out with the people I know

they think it's funny if you fuck around with someone. And so I feel like almost people who aren't cops and firefighters would be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't joke like that. Whereas, like, yeah, dude, it's a fucking building full of hardos. And if I said it to – I actually did say it to my firefighter friend, and he's like, I can't even fucking – he's a firefighter in New Hampshire. But he's like, I can't fucking imagine what that building was like. I was like, yes, you can.

Close your eyes and picture a bunch of blue-collar union guys. I took a picture of one of these shirts. It was so funny. But anyway, what I was saying is I feel like people who aren't cops or firefighters can't say that. But a cop or firefighter is like, yeah, it's funny. Like this shirt, this guy's the most unbelievable heart I've ever seen in my life. It says, we the unappreciated must do the unimaginable

and see the unthinkable to protect the ungrateful sure sure it's like it's crazy a lot of those shirts the guys all had guns on them fucking maniacs dude I knew a bunch

I know a bunch of guys in the union who uh union dudes who all are like different races and ethnicities

and they all just call each other the slurs the blank the blank like he's the this you're the that it's and they're just like they're all friends yeah they're the last people who give a fuck the um by the way this is a total off target i was on my porch reading yesterday and i had to go into the house to take to use the restroom and i caught a glimpse of myself. You were taking a shit? No, no, I was just peeing. You used to come from take to use the restroom, I thought.

But I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Oh, no. Good or bad? If I could get my hair to look like this every day, I would do it every day. I love this. Oh, wow. You look like something.

You know what? It looks like a... It looks like an outline of a shark, to be honest. Like if a shark was swimming... A fish was swimming at you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are the fins, and that's the... You probably could get Jared to do that every day.

Nah, because I was asleep. It's just bedhead. I was just asleep on the floor. Don't be sunburned. When I said I was reading, I fell asleep pretty quick. I also love you said it's bedhead. I was just asleep on the floor. That would be some version. When I said I was reading, I fell asleep pretty quick. I also love you said it's bedhead. I was sleeping on the floor. I had a yoga mat down.

Anyway, how did we get here? How did we get here? I forget. But I have a quick aside. So on the – we're coming home from the NYPD, FDNY game. We took an Uber. It was me, Nate. We actually did – by the way, being at UBS with Frankie Borelli is like –

Because he's like a king? It's crazy. So Barcelona set it up. We have these passes, basically media passes getting in the game. But we didn't have fucking seats and I was like I'm leaving after a period I'm not standing

the game is where were you supposed to stand? I don't know where everyone stood I don't know but the game is forever because a men's league hockey game doesn't have the flow

of an NHL hockey game so like they might not go six minutes without a whistle it's I think bro I left my apartment at two

the game started at five I left my apartment at two the game started at five i left my apartment at two we grabbed drinks beforehand and shit like that so you know my day started at two i didn't get home till 10 to watch a men's league hockey game that's a long day and we um so i was like i'm not i was like i obviously didn't say this but in my head i'm like i'm not gonna stand for is it i think the game was like four hours. The game started at like 5.11, and I think it ended at like 9.30 or something like that. Maybe even later, maybe 9.40. It's a four-hour hockey game.

That's crazy. I went to Shay's dance competition, another one. They told me she was going to go on at 4.15, her group. And so I shot to get there at 4 because I was watching Keegan. We were dividing and conquering. And so I shot to get there at 4, got there at 4. They went early, which is bullshit because my last dance competition was like three and a half hours late.

So I was like, I'm going to have plenty of time. So I went, missed Shea dancing by literally one. like three and a half hours late so i was like i'm gonna have plenty of time so i went missed shea dancing by literally one as i was walking in they were walking off the stage so i just i mean i watched a video of it and i just lied and said i was there she was happy she couldn't see whether i was or was not in the crowd but so that but but still i i drove 45 minutes away to get to this place to not see her and And I did not get home. I left at like 3 and I didn't get home until 8 because we had to stick around for the award ceremony. They were giving out the trophies.

Brother, these dance people are crazy, dude. And we had a moment where they said, we need one parent from every dance company to come up on stage, and the girl who teaches Shea knows who I am. We talked a little bit, and she was like, why don't you go up? And I thought it was going to be like to pass out the trophies or whatever, and I almost did it, but I was like, I don't know. I'm really really uncomfortable i'd rather not and thank god i did because they got up there and they all said you guys have all been

watching your kids dance today we're reversing it on you and they put on uh it's tricky and they're like we got to put some old school music on and but these parents bro husbands and wives they're so into it that they were like this is my moment people doing like dance moves and shit and i was like you guys are so lucky i i would have did she know what was happening when she she well she said she said i don't know but like maybe they they might do some dance stuff and that's what i was like i'm not comfortable and that's exactly what it was uh if i had gone up there thinking like pass out the roses or something and it was that i think i would have i would have just turned and walked i think i would have been i would have died i would have literally died on stage but these people love it and this guy

everybody had a imagine like a trophy ceremony but you don't say anybody's name they're just like contestant number 207 you get this contestant number 192 you get this for like an hour straight so at the end of the day you're checking your things like a fucking raffle ticket

like yeah yeah basically am I 207 but then some people would be like screaming and cheering I was gone for like

six hours and I didn't even see her dance I didn't even get to see the fucking point of it god gotta get me off this dance shit it's terrible anyway you were coming home from the game the well we so with frankie it was uh we got this we so i'm with frankie he's the king of long island king of ebs arena and this woman comes up and she's like where are you guys sitting she works there this is her. I don't know if I can say that or not, but I said it.

And she is, like, you know, one of the go-to people. I don't know exactly what her position is. She's like, oh, Frankie, where are you sitting? And just thank God, by the grace of God, I happen to be standing next to Frankie. And he's like, well, I don't even think we have seats. And she goes, well, the owner's suite's open. Why don't you guys go take that? And so I don't know what the fuck everyone else did

the rest of the time i sat in the older suite um god and uh it was it was it was awesome had a blast blah blah took an uber home and for the first time in like a decade probably left my phone in the uber which was dude so i i the uberber we took you back with me nate uh pilar who works here in merch and uh we i i didn't realize for like two blocks because i i just kind of you have something else in your pockets i sometimes if i if i put something else of equal weight in my pocket i think i have it not only that exactly also when I wear too many pockets. If I don't have my bum, bum, bum, if I got extra pockets to check, I don't do it. So I had on a jacket because I don't know how to – I forgot about playoff hockey where – It's cold in the rain.

It's cold in the rain. It's hot outside. It's a very peculiar situation. Sure, sure. And so I had on like a light raincoat and then I – so I had the pockets here and I had a chest pocket. It's like it's got to be in one of these fucking holes. And so I was like – but also we had a pass. We had like our badge to get around the arena.

So that was in my pocket and it's a square. You just think it's in there. And I was kind of like, yeah, I'm sure it's in here. So I walked like two blocks and – not even two blocks. We all got dropped off at the office. I walked like a block. And Nate split off to jump on the subway. I start walking.

And once he leaves, I put on my headphones. And I walk like a half block and they're still not connecting. And I was like, this is weird. Oh, fuck. And I started tucking pockets. Wait, what were you going to – you put on your headphones without like taking out your phone to play something? You were just doing like the leave me alone headphones? No, I was going to play it eventually.

I guess. I don't know. I don't know why I put them on i think i usually put them on that's weird i put them in and then i take out my phone to put on the song right you put on you probably you have spotify open when you put headphones in no but i'm saying it sounds like you had them in and we're walking like i it was like yeah i i took my pocket put them in i guess i was just waiting for like you've been kind of too and then I was like, that's weird. And I feel in my pockets. Don't have it. So I sprint back to the subway station, just the one right here on 28th. And the subway is pulling up as I'm there. But I don't even have my phone, so I can't, like, double tap to get in.

So I am just at the door going, Nate! Nate! And people are standing pretty crowded it's like Saturday night like nine o'clock and people are like what the

fuck I'm like I was hoping that I could get to him to get to Pilar's number because Pilar got to Uber to get to Uber to get

him before he left to left before he went back to Long Island yeah ultimately it didn't happen I don't know I don't know.

What was crazy was I got down, maybe another car had already come by the time I'd gotten there, but to move anywhere but right there. When you go to the subway, do you walk down the subway track and get on? I just stand exactly where the gate is. Oh. No, I've moved.

I will, like, if I know, when I I, no, I've moved. I, I, I will, like, if I know when I'm commuting, I know where, like, okay, over there is where the stairs are. So I'm going to go there. I, I, I actually. If it's super crowded in the middle, I'll move. Yeah. I actually, I move a little bit. Really?

I'll either go up or down a few paces. Yeah. No, I'm just like. A car, a car or two maybe. Walk a straight line from getting in. I understand that. Even if there's a lot of people? I'm just like... A car or two, maybe. Walk a straight line from getting in, I just stand there. Even if there's a lot of people? I get...

Like, this wasn't that many. There were people to see me, but it was certainly... I wouldn't call it a crowd. Let's say there were 12 people. Right, right. But the... But yeah, so I never saw him.

He gets on the subway. Get Polaroid's number from you once I get back home. He's my laptop. And there's really no crazy thing in this story. It's really... My question is... The Uber driver came back the back home. He's my laptop. And there's really no crazy thing to this story. It's really, my question is,

the Uber driver came back the next day, brought me my phone. What are you tipping? Now, it's a Sunday afternoon. But he's driving, or no. What? Was he driving? He told, from the message I got was, he's coming to the city tomorrow.

So, he's from Long Island. It's a Sunday afternoon. I checked my find a phone, find my iPhone later. He is like, it was like Ebbitt, I think it's called, wherever UBS is. Ebbitt, something like that.

He's right there. I would guess it's a 25 minute ride on a Sunday afternoon with no traffic. Maybe a little longer, maybe 30. Wait, where was he again? Wherever UBS is a 25-minute ride on a Sunday afternoon with no traffic. Maybe a little longer, maybe 30. Wait, where was he again? Wherever UBS is, that stop. It begins with an E. I actually don't know wherever UBS is.

It's like the LIR stop is called like Ebblet slash UBS stop. UBS Arena into, let's call it, let's just say to here, to work. Yeah. That would be. Elma, Elma. From UBS Arena. Right now it's 51 minutes to get from UBS Arena to here. So that's probably a half hour.

Yeah. Okay. Half hour. There's no way that dude was just coming in for you because he would have just been like, I don't know. You can come to me. I was shocked. That to me means he's driving his Uber and he's going to be in the city and then I'll bring it to you. I had that moment of panic where I tried to get the phone.

Once I didn't have the phone, I was like, eh, I don't have it. I was like, I'll buy a new one. It's gone. I know where it is. It wasn't like – To me, I to say, well, buy a new one. It's gone. I know where it is. It wasn't like – To me, I would have even been like, it's gone. It's gone, gone. No, I was like, I know where it is.

Maybe I'll go out there tomorrow, I guess. I don't know. What are you going to do? Right. And I fully expected to – I was going to go pick it up the next day. And then because – Okay, so here's the thing. I think that is a guy who was driving that day.

Uh-huh. So he's not doing anything out of the ordinary, you know? Yeah. Jackie, what's your number? But he also— Oh, I want you to answer first just so we don't get things skewed. You want, like, percentage? Percentage of what? Not percentage.

What would you tip someone if you lost their phone and they brought it back to you? What would be the percentage? 20% of what? Well, that's a good point. Because I thought like maybe he was charging you for the ride. So I was thinking percentage of that.

Okay. To give you a gist, the ride was $140 over. Okay. I would do like a good – well, I'm also a poor person. So I would do like a good $30. Okay. I think it's –

Huh? $25. $30. Great. I think I would give 100 bucks. Okay. I gave him 200. That's generous. I think he was over the moon about 200.

Okay. I thought I almost hit like 250 as I was at the ATM. No, no, no, bro. I think that is literally a dude who was going to be in the city anyway and just said, let me like mildly inconvenience myself. Well, now I'm fucking pissed. I was stressed. Now I didn't give him enough. Now I can't fucking.

Hey, Rashfida, 100 bucks back, please. I would bet. Now, here's the thing. You could think about the alternative. This man could have easily just said, I don't know what you're talking about, and now you're $1,800 out. Right. You know what I mean? So $200 is like nice, but also humans should just do nice things for each other occasionally.

Yeah. Again, I – Hey, everyone who just does like a basic courtesy of like I'll just – I have this thing that belongs to you. I'll give it back to you. If he was like, yeah, come pick it up, that's what I fully expected to happen. And I was like, I don't get it yet. Clearly, I'm in the wrong. It's 100% my fault.

I left my phone in your car. I shouldn't put you out. If he was like, I will drive in to give it to you, I would probably have said, no, I will drive out. Because the burden of somebody on their Sunday afternoon off driving into the city, like I would just never do that. Yeah. So if you offer to do that, I would be like expecting like $500 in return. You know what I mean? So I'd be like, no, no, no.

You stay put. I'm just going to pick it up and you get $0. You know? Because I don't want to make you do that. If you're just going to be out here driving people around anyway and you happen to be you know what eventually someone's going to bring you to my neighborhood then we'll do it i think let's put this out there what would you pay in this situation and two do you think john overpaid i'm going to be willing to bet that the vast majority of people think 200 is crazy yeah i think so the i think that's you gotta remember like it remember, like, it's my, dude, it's my mess.

Like, if I'm, I fucked up. We, we, we, I think we move, uh,

I think you forget people's financial situations. Like, $200 for that guy might be a big fucking deal. You know? Yeah. Like,

for us, like, ah, we fucked this thing up and, like, here's a couple hundred dollars? It's like D and Dennis buying crap. Yeah. Take four crap drops. It's $200.

$200? Yeah. I felt bad giving it to him because I had just gone to the ATM down in the deli, like, below my apartment. And I was just like, thank you so much, man. And because delis give you $20, And Because to get Deli's give you 20 So I want to be like By the way It's not just

It's not just 20 bucks Right right right Which I'm sure you could have felt But It didn't move like that It was just Like that Did you

Speaking of that Did you see What happened with Sam Talent When I gave him his money I The fives You the fives yeah What amount did you take

Out of the bank well i did a 50 i did like a you know a number yeah yeah and i figured that would and it's on me for not just doing a round number or doing multiples of 20 but i just figured the 50 would be uh two 20s and a 10 and instead it was two fives and so the first two bills he looks at, he was probably like, great, thanks for like these $30 guys, you know, fucking Jackie over here

giving me my money for $30. I take back. By the way, I would do 50. I would think that 50 is, listen, there are plenty of people who would probably just throw you a 20. Yeah. I think 50 is going to be the main answer and I think 100 is like generous.

Okay, here's a question for you. This is more – this is a little bit deeper and now – and I got to figure this out for myself. I am now in a different world with money, right? But I really am not living any different. And I'm like, should I be? Do I have to pay for dinner every time we go somewhere now? No. Do I have to do things like over-the-top generous things? If I'm with a group of people, like, this round's on me because I'm guy now it's like like just those things where it's like no no okay no i i

think i'm in my head about like when i hear stories about like he picked up the tab or like uh i think if you do that too much you're an asshole okay yeah like that's what i was worried about the other direction okay yeah you're not fucking ted uhzos, dude. Relax, you know? I think, like, occasionally you do something and it's like, oh, yeah. I think otherwise it starts being like,

dude, like, we're friends. Well, but, okay. I have a job and we're friends. Put aside friends. Like, I'm trying to think of an example. Maybe dinner's not

the right thing. But, like, if, you know, when it comes to tipping or it comes, okay or it comes – OK. Here's the thing. I was at – and this also ties into another story. I'm going to tell you about Little League. I was at Little League opening day on Saturday and they did a whole production.

It was like a speed pitch and they were grilling dogs and there was a 50-50 raffle. Something like that, am I supposed to be like, here's $500 for the league that my son plays in? No? Okay. I'm not sure if that's the thing. A 50-50 raffle? Yeah. Or just in general, if they're like, you can win this signed baseball,

and it's very clearly like, we just need to raise money for the little league. Am I supposed to be like, here you go? No. Okay. No. All to be like, here you go? No. Okay. No. All right. Good.

Good. No. I mean when there's something where it's like a clear – like when they're asking the parents for money, yes, I would think you give a bit more. Yeah. But like no. No. I think you're describing like asshole behavior. I think like if I was like raffling off a ball and someone was like, hey, here's a thousand bucks.

No, that's not what I'm doing, dude. I think personally I think so. That's like – I wasn't sure if it's one of those things like you're like – your kid is in the league and we need help from the parents. You're in a better space. So like why don't you pony up? I don't think so.

I feel like there are certain things that I will do, like I will be generous for because I really, you know, they deserve it or I believe in it or whatever. But if I'm just starting to do it willy-nilly, I agree. It's kind of like you're trying too hard or whatever. But I just don't want people to think I'm cheap about shit. No, I don't think so. I think the – no, no.

I don't think so at all. I grew up in like a middle class town and I grew up okay. And I was just trying to think like my parents never did like anything like that. Like you just kind of do like – You just do like whatever you're supposed to do and you don't have to like go above and beyond. And then I think like I would have – I don't even know what they did. But I would imagine like on the choir things, you write a bigger check than the average person does. But I don't think know what they did. I'd imagine on the choir things you write a bigger check than the average person does. But I don't think you – I don't think publicly.

I wouldn't be like James Marsden on the jury duty being like, I'm donating the money now, guys. But I wasn't sure. So at opening day, there was a speed pitch thing. And I've never wanted to crawl in a hole and die more this uh this family was there and the wife was like hey honey it's all kids throwing you know and she was like hey honey how about you do it like dad's gonna do it let's see what dad can do and he's like oh baby i haven't done it like in a while but, let's see. But definitely was into it. Starts warming up the arm.

And he lets one rip. And it was 36 miles an hour. Did he have good form, at least? Did he look like a guy who had thrown baseballs at a moderate level?

No, he couldn't have possibly, because how'd you throw 36 then if you played high school baseball and you were even mediocre spaz but it was like a guy who was like willing like if you've never played baseball before and your and your wife's like go do it you're like no honey i don't know how to throw he was like you know he was doing that like he knew like how to stretch your arms like at least that sort of shit that yeah but i mean that's like you watched a baseball game. True. But I'm saying he didn't flail or anything. Yeah.

He didn't have perfect form. He just kind of cropped, and anybody threw it. He'd throw. And the kid's like, 36. And the guy goes, well, that's not very fast. And the wife kind of was like, yeah. She doesn't fucking know. Keegan throws next and threw 29 i was like oh my god my five-year-old almost threw

i wanted to fucking die for this man i was just like i'm sorry that is like that guy i mean that guy might have gone home and killed himself for all I know that guy might be in the garage with the fucking car running that is crazy you can't you cannot do that like for I I'm not gonna do that because of my arm I'll like have I'll need surgery after it but I'm also gonna not gonna do it because I know I'm probably topping out at like 41 right like you can't do these things that you know you have have to know that about yourself. You know? Yeah. If someone was like, try this half-court shot. But that's also a delicate area where you look like the tough guy. Like if you're like, I can unload at 80.

And it's like, I'm good at this. Okay, so here's what I would do. Like everything, you just got to be in the middle of the road. Are you decent? If someone asked me right now, and I also wouldn't be like, no. I might be like, I can't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I wouldn't want to be the guy who's like, I can't embarrass myself either. It's like, who fucking cares, dude?

But I probably would just take it and be like, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, yeah, it went 38 miles an hour. But to me, all right. Like, honey, kids, watch. And I was like, I wish this wasn't happening. When that came up, I was like, 36. It must be broken.

It must be broken. But then all these other little kids stepped up and was throwing at the same speed. I was like, holy fucking shit, man. They recalibrated the gun since I played JV Ball. I was humming it in there. Dude, one of my favorite moments ever. So even though it's just like you get a hit, you stop at first. You get a hit, you stop at second.

Station to station. So Keegan gets to third base. Guy gets a hit. He's running home. Just fucking slides into home for no reason. Like just wants to get all dirty and shit. He went home with like a grass-stained brown dirty dirt pants. I was like, you're a ball player.

I took pride in that. Yeah. If you went home with a clean uniform, you't play that day yeah you know don't be wrong i didn't get dirty in the game but i'd rub dirt on it afterwards he slid into home and immediately stood up and was like bro i you know where i grew up playing it's not fun i grew up playing on a fucking one of those gravel fields i go oh shit holes and shit it was terrible yeah that's i i would just figure i, I'm out. Take me out. It was –

It was like raspberries all over the place. Did you slide headfirst a lot? No. I like never did. I don't think I ever – High school, a little bit. The one time I slid headfirst was at a kickball tournament. I don't think I ever slid headfirst.

Like it's crazy to slide headfirst, bro. Either your fingers or your face are getting fucking mashed up. When I was playing high school, I stole a base. I'd slide headfirst. Yeah. But like, I mean, I stole a base. I mean, I wasn't hitting triples. There's very rarely

you have your momentum going. A double is basically just a single but further. That makes sense. Fucking Socrates over here. But like 90% of doubles, you're not legging out. You just hit the gap. I can't make it a triple. So it's like, alright, I'm getting into here as casually as I would the first base.

It actually totally makes sense. Whereas a triple is like a double but more. Yeah, right. But that makes sense too. It's like I got to – taking second base on a double is a granted. Taking third base on a triple is like, I can stretch this. You're not stretching a single.

Nobody says you stretch the single into a double. You say you stretch the double into a triple. Right, right. Yeah, that's a great point. It is very, very rare, really. I can't believe I just made fun of you and then with a straight face said that a double is a triple. A triple is a double of a more.

You said it and I laughed and I did the exact same thing. Fucking stupid. A double is just a long single. One last thing about baseball. It was funny. I told it on We Gotta Believe, but I don't think I said it here. Keegan grew out of his cleats. Did I say that on this podcast? I don't think I did. He grew out of his cleats instantly.

It's time for first practice. Get your cleats out. Not even close. A whole toe length too small. I'm like, get your cleats out. Not even close, like a whole toe length too small. And I'm like, fuck, he's going to be the kid showing up with like sneakers, like doesn't have the right gear or whatever. But there's a shoe store like right around the corner from the ballpark, from the baseball field. And so I was like, we'll go quickly there and then we'll lace you up. So he's in like his baseball, and we go to the store,

and the guy's measuring him, and he's like, oh, you're playing baseball. And he's like, and I'm wearing a Mets hat, and I think Keegan wants to. He's like, oh, so you're a Mets fan. And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he goes, who's your favorite player? And Keegan doesn't know players yet. He barely watches. I'm trying to just get him into it.

So I'm helping him out. I'm like, you like Lindor, right? He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he tries – he's like – it's quiet for a second. He's like, I also like the guy – I like the man who buys the players. And I was like, your favorite player is Steve Kotlin. I was like, you mean the owner? Because I've talked to him.

I was like – because we have some people in his life like the Yankees, I like the Mets. I'm like, you got to like the Mets because they have this new owner who's going to make it good. I like talked to him. I was like, because we have some people in his life like the Yankees, like the Mets. I'm like, you've got to like the Mets because they have this new owner who's going to make it good. I talked to him about Steve. He bought all the good players. I did. I said that. I was like, don't you want to be a fan of the team with the guy who's

buying all the good players? And so this guy asked a five-year-old, who's your favorite baseball player? And his answer was the owner. And I was like, this is either like this is your kid jake marsh i feel like that's something that's something like jake would say like someone in the front office jake is an international scout i don't really think is jake could be six with a tie on i i was like this is either my finest moment or my my worst moment like instead of him just being like babe ruth he was like the guy – he said it somehow funny.

He buys the things. And I was like, what do you mean? He buys the guys. And I was like, I know what you're trying to say now. I can see that. Some people tried to hit me with a Ruth Conda on that. I was like, if you think me, I, Kevin Clancy, have not talked to my kids about Steve Cohen, I talk to everybody about Steve Cohen. Anybody within earshot, I will talk about that guy. But I was like,

I'm either raising you well or entirely terrible. I don't know what. Steve, do you hear that? Come on. Come on the pod, man. You're practically family. GameTime is the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. It was created by fans. It is for fans. GameTime is a ticketing app that makes it easier than ever

to score last-minute deals on tickets to sports, concerts, and shows, and they guarantee the lowest price. My family is at the Bruins game right now. I am exceptionally jealous. I will have to make them more jealous with my better seats from game time in the future. We'll do a live stream tonight, so I can't be there. I will be there at games throughout the series and throughout the playoffs. It will be for two months. It will not be for one week.

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or go to the website enter your email and redeem code kfc for 20 bucks off your first purchase terms aptly aptly apply i. I was joking. Apply. Okay. You got some more for me? I have three quick things. Also, by the way, saying Jake made me think the FDNY NYPD game. I obviously didn't listen to much of the broadcast because I was at the game. What I've heard in the little clips I've watched,

Whit Biz and Jake Myers are unbelievable. They could be like an NBA on TNT type thing. I basically just heard that call fights, but Jake was so professional and so good, and then you mix that with the juxtaposition of Bizz and Whit. I'll fucking tell you, this guy, that's an ass game. I was like, this is how I like to like. One person running the show, and everyone else is having a good time.

We're going to try to do it for a couple games for the Mets this year with the We Gotta Believe podcast where we can do this two-screen thing where you can watch the game and watch us. That has always been – when Dave first said highlights without rights, I had always had the opposite idea. I always thought we should do Sports center but with us yeah so we're watching the real highlights but we're saying like this motherfucker thinks that he can shoot from half court what the fuck you know like rather than doing it all professional whereas he dave was like no we're we're the ones making the highlights but i i always thought like we don't have the rights to these clips but we should do our own um our own like highlight real talk and then extended that to absolutely regular guys doing the broadcast is 100% the future.

But I don't – But not regular. You need a guy like Jake. I don't. Yeah. Because I think people – everyone thought that once we – everyone just live streams themselves watching the games now. You find out real quickly how hard it is.

It's like, oh, this is kind of boring without someone who's doing the play I play and doing it very well. And you need a guy who is informed. Like the most important thing, when I did a little bit of that in college just for like demos and stuff, the like media sheets that they give you all have like did you know facts. So when the guy is up, you can be like, you know, one time his dad made him a baseball bat out of maple instead of ash. And, you know, there's shit that, like, you can fill the time with. So you've got to know all that and be able to, like, and just, like, the cadence and the terminology and all that sort of shit. So it's not just regular guys.

But it's regular guys. The juxtaposition even makes it better. It's almost like what they say about, like, putting, like, a regular person in the Olympics. It's like, oh, this is how a regular person watches the game? This is how a fucking fanatic watches the game. I'm getting the information of the fanatic and the energy of the fan. In a way, the Mets kind of have that. Gary Cohen is probably the best technical broadcaster in the game.

And then you've got Keith. These guys are fucking kidding me. But yeah, that is – Eck was the same way with the Sox. I was like, Eck doesn't know that he's not going to get called

into this game. Like, Eck's just talking like he's in the bullpen. Today's the day. Every day, he's going to strip it off like Superman.

Yeah, no, I was ready the whole time. But there's plenty of guys like Jake and Tommy, at least around here.

So many people that either go to Fordham or Syracuse and there's one more that has like a really good communications program. But then three guys make it. There's only a couple teams.

There's only a couple radio programs, and the rest are just guys who are – think about it. 99.9% of the world does not ever do any sort of play-by-play or sports media. So if you've even done it at all in college, you are leaps and bounds above the rest. Like Tommy could – you don't think about Tommy like that, but he could slide in tomorrow and do like a, welcome to the game, folks. We're here. Like tonight's matchup is blah, blah, blah, blah,

and like do all that shit like no problem. And it goes such a long way. And then you pair it with like idiots like us. I don't know how you do it because you're going to need either to get hired by like the team or these networks or work out some sort of broadcast deal where you can use their rights or whatever. But somehow, someway, I don't know how it works, whether it's just like TNT hires you like they did with Biz or whatever. But one day you'll get there where it's like you can pick the guys you want to do the broadcast somehow or you just do it illegally. Fuck it.

ESPN Plus has that. Do they? broadcast somehow yeah or you just do it illegally fuck it espn plus has that do they when i when i mean it's like you basically they have the technology or whatever it is and then i guess you just have to add new slots but when i watch espn plus and i go watch a bruins game it's like bruins broadcast panthers broadcast spanish broadcast or something like that yeah um and i think there was another one you know you probably had to pay a boatload for it but if there was like the barstool podcast yeah and we pay a shit ton of money to have – it's like Apple TV. Like three Fridays a year, you get the Barstool broadcast. Right, right, right.

I think that would be very cool and very successful. Yeah, that would be sick. I just had – Jack, I'd like your input on this as well, please. Do you wash blankets? I usually wash a – like if I have a comforter, you have like the – is that the duvet cover or whatever? Right. Like you put the – you either zipper it up or button it up around it. I wash the outside thing. Okay.

Yes. Blanket. Okay. So first of all – You're talking about Just like a single piece Like blanket I've First of all

I've never washed my comfort But I use like my blankets Like as my Sheets Half the time Oh but I'm talking about bed blankets Not my couch blankets

Oh Wait wait Back it up What does that mean? I've said this before Like you don't You don't have sheets On your mattress

You have mattress And the blankets I have I have like a weird thing Where Where I I like had a fear of bedsheets until I was like 17. Until I like went to college. Did you?

Okay, not so long. Okay, proceed. You had a fear of bedsheets until you were 17. Yeah, please, proceed. Wait, I thought that I said this. No. Because I would make fun of you relentlessly for it. I don't know why, but like for some reason when I was i just i just one day decided like i'm not doing bed sheets i

just i i can't do it i have no idea why as a kid because it was like i i slept on the floor for a year because like i because i it because my dog because i had a dog oh my god it's madeline i'm sorry i just keep getting more ridiculous i'm sorry um i swear okay so i had the dog and then i felt bad for him because when he was a puppy and he was crate training so then i slept on the floor with him for a year right a year it was it was like seven months no sheets no no dog bed a pillow and a blanket pillow and blanket yeah but like hardwood floor carpet carpet no and so then when i came back, I was like, I can't do it. Like I can't do like sheets anymore. I don't know why.

Like I don't know what happened. But somehow I was just like blankets are how I'm going to do this. So then it took me until college. You're fucking already coming back from Afghanistan? Sleeping on the floor next to my bed? Right. Like I can't do it anymore. I don't know.

I've been away from society for too long. Well, it was weird because then then I remember my first dream back, I was in the sheets, and then I had bad dreams about the sheets the whole night. I was just like, I developed this weird fear. And then it was a weird thing where before, I could do certain ones.

Sometimes even hotel sheets. I was going to say, what about when you go somewhere else? I would just be like, I got it. I could do it. It's just a sheet. It's just a bad sheet. Nobody's going to hurt you. And else i would just be like i got it like i could do it it's just a sheet it's just a bed sheet nobody's gonna hurt you and then

literally like before like in college i was like okay like i can't be weird i can't be like the weird girl who's like afraid of bed sheets and like all this so i would just be like i was i was i was like oh i'm just gonna be a normal person who gets into bed sheets and we're just gonna get in this bed just like how everyone else gets in a bed. And so then I eventually got over it. But now to this day, like some days my body will just be like, I can't do it.

I can't do it. So I go through that. That's insane. So wait, you have like bare mattress and then you'll put like a... No, like I'll have a bed cover over it but i'll put a blanket down on top of the duvet cover and then a blanket on top but you don't have a fitted sheet at all no i do like i make the bed as like a normal person who would sleep in a bed like a

condom you have like a barrier yes exactly exactly and So making the bed is okay? Touching it, folding it? Yeah. And like sometimes I'm totally like... Sometimes I'm like, fuck yeah, it's a bed night. Like we're sleeping in the sheets tonight. Bitch. What's wrong with this bitch? I don't know.

John, what is wrong with this bitch? Jackie, that's the thing. One of the best things in the world is getting into like a fresh mat, fresh sheets in bed, clean sheets. I know. Sometimes I'll make it. I'll be so excited. I'll be like, clean sheets, baby. And I'll get there and be like,

I can't do it. I don't like this. But it's like, if it's somebody else's bed, I can sleep in theirs. What? That's insane. Yeah. I don't know why. But it's just my bed. Jack, that was so weird. Yeah, I don't know. That's one. I mean, you say this

every time you talk, but that's one of the weirdest things you've ever said ever um and she always says i think i said this already it's like no i know i know but i because because i talked to like nick and paths a lot in the room and so sometimes i do they think you were fucking weird i don't remember if it was them i've literally never heard of anything like this no they thought it was normal they're insane yeah yeah um you do it all the time you're like, I don't think this story is good enough for the podcast. It's like it created the helmet bit. I know, but like that, because it was a whole majority of my life. I've been afraid of beds for more of my life than I haven't been afraid of beds.

So for me, it's normal. This is my normal. I'm afraid of beds. I mean, I forget all you guys are... Meet me, regular Jackie. Oh, Miller Lite Jackie. But most people are chill with beds. And that's something that...

Almost everyone is chill with beds. Yeah, well, some of us are. It's a confliction you deal with every day. Is this... Are you alone in this? I've never really looked it up because I didn't realize it was that weird. Freed of bed sheets.

I guarantee. There's something for everything. It's like a germaphobe thing. It makes me gag. Hello, Reddit. I have always had an irrational fear of bed sheets. Cura. Cora.

What is that? Cora. What is it called when you have a fear of bed sheets not being straight? That's OCD. Is it normal to be? I can't sleep on bed sheets. It's just a thing. I don't mind printed or colored sheets. So this one, I can't sleep on white sheets.

That's just racism. No, I can only sleep on white sheets. Let me just see this one. Hello. This is just an irrational fear of bed sheets. Let's see. Oh, he didn't describe it. He says, what are some of yours?

You got to give me more than that. Okay, he says, wait, clarifying a little tiny bit. It's a very common fear. Why do you think people wet the bed? No, that's not it. Let's see. From an early age, I've had OCD and Tourette's. I've just never been able to handle sheets.

Pillowcases I'm fine with, but sheets in general. I make my bed like anyone else, but i sleep on my comforter is this you and i just throw another big blanket comforter on top of me it's like literally what you do yeah well well rayero from 11 years ago uh he agrees with you um uh but does it say like anything why no he just like someone's like well how do you protect yourself from the monsters and he goes i have a blanket with another blanket that i throw on top of me so the monsters can't get me i mean my friends have always been like bring this up in therapy like you have to get totally but it's just like but also i mean usually you know you say like

i had a dream that like a fucking eagle like eyeballs. And they're like, this is because of that. Nobody, nothing, except for one other person asking. But I was just like, it's so low on my priority list of things to knock out. You want to talk about fucking champagne problems? My 300 thread bed sheets broke me out. I don't care enough to fix it. Now, it's not like you're afraid of bed bugs It's not like you're afraid of wetting the bed

It's not like something in the bed But the idea of it disgusts me Sometimes Are your sheets dirty? No no no like they'll be clean What else in your life happens That makes you feel the same way as that Is there another time

And I'm not like a germaphobe Can you put on like a cotton t-shirt No like literally it's the only thing That's why I'm like there another time that that... And I'm not like a germaphobe at all. Can you put on like a cotton t-shirt? Yeah. No, like literally it's the only thing. That's why I'm like, there's something about that. Towels don't bother you? Like linens? Nothing else? No. Pillowcases? What about that? No, chill with pillowcases. I could do a pillowcase all day. So you put your face all up

against the sheet basically, but you won't put your body? Well, don't make me think too hard about it because then that's going to start to freak me out. Pillowcases are just small sheets in a square. Yeah, I know. But that's fine. No, it's just – I just don't – I don't think I like my toes touching – I don't know.

Now it's starting to gross me out. Do you sleep in pajamas? Well, yeah, kind of. Mostly just a t-shirt. So it's not like your skin is not against it, like your legs and your arms are? It doesn't matter. It's a toes thing? it's just a t-shirt so it's not like your body like your skin is not against it like your legs and your arms are it doesn't matter but if it's like if i'm sleeping in like a hotel bed somehow now okay now we're chill for the most part 50 of the time but like but but if it's if then i will

sleep in full sweats like a full sweatsuit and then like put on socks and then i'll get into bed and i literally i'm like but so that's but that's germs but it's but I'm not a germaphobe about anything else like I don't know okay but at your own home you're afraid of them yeah

so like my bed the one that I kind of understand the hotel even though those are clean no the hotels where you're okay the hotels where I'm fine the thing that grosses me out

like I will never ever ever you could I would rather die than sleep in my bed at home for some reason that grosses me out so much your parents house i'm at my parents house which that's like it's not like i like like there was anything i have no idea like i've tried so hard to think about this

well that's where you like you accidentally slaughtered your biological parents in bed. We just adopted you. Something crazy happened to this bitch. I swear to God. Anyway. I just love podcasting because how the fuck did we get here? What were we talking about? I just asked if you clean your blanket.

Right, right, right. I clean my blankets a lot because I have to. Harmless question. Next thing you know, we have Jackie's sheet phobia. I literally just did laundry last night, and I washed a blanket for – just because it was – So gross. I mean it was covered in stains. Food, yeah. Like melted chocolate, ice creams and –

Well, the thing is – So much stuff. How thick of a blanket are we talking? Like a fleece blanket. I don't know. Just a regular couch blanket. I'll do that every now and then but but it basically takes up the whole wash. It gets its own wash.

But you're doing it. I don't even know where I got this blanket from. I didn't buy it. How does John even acquire blankets? I have three blankets in my house. I don't know where any of them are. That's low-key a really funny thing. This man just has stuff that, like, what, a girlfriend probably brought one and left it.

I got no idea. Maybe you left it. Maybe you, like, bought. Never once in my life have I been like, I got to get a blanket. Never. I don't know. I have never. Now, have I ever bought a blanket?

Have I ever bought a blanket? Have I ever bought a blanket? You know what I'm in the market for? A nice little blanket to go on the ottoman over there. I don't think I've ever bought a blanket. Where would I even buy a blanket? I think one time I bought a blanket. If you told me right now I have to go buy a blanket, you'd give me a half hour?

I don't know if I'd buy a blanket. Where would you go get a blanket? Target. Target. I imagine Target's got blankets. Where would I go get a good blanket Target. I imagine Target's got blankets. Wait, wait, wait. I'll get a good blanket. That I don't know.

Yeah. I got a fire couch. I got a fucking couch. You finally got it? I got a couch. I was like, I've always just wanted a fucking awesome couch without being like a douchebag like from Instagram who buys one of those. The gigantic.

I didn't do that. I got a real one. I got a good in between I went to Pottery Barn and all these motherfuckers talking about the restoration hardware cloud couch can go ahead

and suck out my dick you're all fucking sheep they've all been sold the bill of goods John let me tell you something everybody I tweeted I just want the best couch

on the market let me know spare no expense this is one thing I'm going to ball out on. Not one recommendation other than Restoration Hardware Cloud Couch. And I sat on that shit, and it sucks. It sucks a dick.

Fuck the Restoration Hardware Cloud Couch. It's like – it's almost like you have to fluff your couch. Fuck that. It's like the pillows. You know when you lay on a pillow and it gets flat? I currently have a couch like that. It's awful you need like a cushion i don't want like a down couch you know where it gets like you might as it might just be like mine's not the the seats themselves it's the back that too i hate it so i got a pottery barn the big sir it's called

it's a double wide chase so like the part the L part that sticks out is a double. So that's like a bed. And then it's double deep. So the couch part itself is like a single bed. It's like you could lay two people on the couch. And so I got it. It's a double chase, a one-seater, and then a love seat two-seater so a big fat l double chase double wide uh with like a soft ass whatever material it's it's gonna be my pride and joy on my couch the

big sir the fuck restoration are we you're all lemmings you're all sheep anytime nobody has a single answer other than like the the one thing you're obviously all being played you know what i mean yeah Like nobody said, the Pottery Barn, big sir. Also, Pottery Barn, hook it up. I'm giving you such a fucking plug here. Just reimburse me for this shit. It's the one thing.

Everything else, I'm trying to renovate and we're going to see. I want to find out if other brands want to work with me. I was like, I got to get a couch. I'm going to do it right.

Buying the fucking thing myself. Let's go. It wasn't as expensive as I thought it was going to be either. Couches can get expensive, bro. I wouldn't even have a guess what a couch costs. Probably about twice a blanket.

Give me a guess. If you were to buy a couch right now, a sectional couch, chase, two-seater, and you add like a third little chair to it, what do you think you're paying? $3,500?

I think those are like cheap ones. Cheap ones? Yeah. I think mine costs about $1,000. Yeah, like you can go to like Bob's and shit. That's why my couch sucks. I think I said it with1,000. You can go to Bob's and shit. I think I said it with the wrong thing where I sat like this. I sit like this now.

I sat on the chase part of mine for so long. You can't flip a chase. You can't flip a chase cushion. It's got to fit that thing. I can't fucking flip it and keep it... So I just sit home alone like this and watch TV.

I honestly think it's fucking up my back. I bet. I think I'm a Batman. I was walking to work today. I was like, my back is killing me. What happened? I watched a lot of TV yesterday. And I try to, like finally keep my legs like this

Yeah you gotta like Balance the weight I'm all the way over here so I gotta get my legs But then So when that gets so uncomfortable My right oblique starts to hurt so bad I move over to the middle of the couch Oh and then you sit

On a middle seat where nobody sits It feels like you're sitting on like – you know what I mean? Like if you sit where nobody ever sits on your couch. Yeah, yeah. It's like you're like two feet higher. It's crazy. But also I don't have a coffee table. So I have like a – I honestly don't – I don't even know where I got this either. Most of the stuff I don't know who it belongs to.

Yo, that would be funny. You go through your house, MTV Cribs, and just try to find out where these things came from. I don't know whose this is. It's like a wicker basket. Yeah. My coffee table is like a wicker basket. Yeah. And I don't know where it came from.

But because I keep books and shit on it, the wicker has been stretched. Yeah. So I just put my feet on it that the wicker has been stretched. Yeah. So I just put my feet on – In the hole? No, because it doesn't get to the hole. So it's just resting on wicker on like a metal pole. So then I lose feeling in my feet and I got to switch back over to here. And I come here for a little while.

And then I go back to the middle and I come back. And then I start getting getting divots in here. And then I go to bed. And that's my Sunday. Here's a question. Where did your silverware plates and cups come from? I'm sure various women I've slept with. Did you come with a six-pack of plates and shit?

Right. I've not slept with. It's usually the women I bed don't bring me tufts over there. I'm not that sad. They're not like, we made you a plate. There you go. I'm going to give you that dick. It's not.

Yeah, like where did you get your college or what? I would guess half is from my girlfriend i live with and half is from either lower gas that i stole really where where is your so you know where your clothes are from you know your shoes are from you buy those things jackets but then that's it like anything like where's your yeah like where's your bedside table from i don't have that yeah where's your yeah you do have? I don't have a bedside table. Where's your – you do have a comforter or no? You just have blankets.

Oh, I have no idea where my comforter is from. I don't know. It's either my ex-girlfriend or my parents probably. You remember buying your TV? TV, one is ex-girlfriend's, one I bought. Okay. That I can understand. As I fucking start listing stuff out, I do have an interior decorator.

It's called all the puss I used to smash. Girls get sweatshirts, motherfuckers got TVs. It's old and sucks. It's so old, I'm embarrassed to tweet videos that I did. I'm like, they're going to crush me. I got to go find some new gas. Imagine rather than buying a TV, you go get a girlfriend. I got to go find a chick to fuck and bring me a new TV.

One of my living rooms is good. It's my bedroom one. Dude, you wanna know how bad my TV is? If you watch for more than like an hour, the lips and the audio just start sinking out. I restart my TV all the time. All the time? What is that?

Wait, you know what brand you have by any chance? Not Roku. No. Maybe Roku. Is Roku TV? No, it's not Roku. It's something that people make fun of me for when I tweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, you got a TLC TV? Right, right. I'm going to check today when I go home. I was like, I don't know. Sometimes that doesn't even work. Sometimes it's just like, all right, we're watching it with the lips off. It drives me crazy. It feels like I'm watching a dubbed English shit, but I'm not.

It's just fucking off. That's pathetic. It's pathetic that we have – But I don't know shit about TVs. Bro, you don't need to know shit. But I walked into Best Buy. I was like, I want a good TV. They're like, here we go.

We got you. Right, right, right. It was like $1,400. It wasn't cheap. I mean, it wasn't like crazy. I got fucked. I was like $1,400. It wasn't cheap. It wasn't crazy. I got fucked. I was a sucker. I bought the Curve TV all those years ago. There was one month

where the world thought Curve TVs were a thing, and I got got. I was like, yeah, this is awesome. Not only did nobody like it anymore, it also broke. Then I just threw a bedroom TV in my living room tv and that doesn't that doesn't work and rather than just like get this is the thing even even like

going back to before i was saying but like now that i have money it's like i still just don't i'm just like i don't know the tv's broken it should just be like let's get a new one it's like i don't know it's all fucking are you kidding me bro fucking thing by the time this summer rolls around you know i'm going summer three in a row without air conditioning. No, are you really? Dude, I tweeted the other night. I was in bed. Because, yeah, that little heat wave was tough.

I was in bed. I put mine in. Naked. Before you can eat an ice cream. Watching. Starfishing out there. Barry, maybe. I forget what he's watching. God damn, you're pathetic.

And guess what? You know that comforter that I don't wash that I don't know where I got from? Covered in melted ice cream. Like, not new, not new. It's been melted. It's older stuff. Bro, when they say the phrase, she's going to make an honest man out of him, right? She's going to make an honest man out of him.

Yeah. Make an honest man out of me. That's what they're talking about. I used to hear that, and I was like, what does that mean? He's going to stop fucking other girls, or he's going to get a real job. It just means I'm going to stop you from letting ice cream melt into your comfort. Dude, I ate off my bed sheets this very morning. Oh, don't guy.

Chips. Jackie, you must be fucking. Imagine that. Chip. I don't know when I put those chips there. You wait. Wait. Wait. You woke up and were I put those chips there. Wait, wait, wait. You woke up and were like, oh, there's leftover chips? I was making my bed this morning and I was like, a couple of chips.

You are despicable, bro. Like I will ride with you until the very end, but god damn. I still have these same chips in the house. I bought three bags of them. But I was like worse if it was like your favorite chip you know i get one more i could kind of understand it no i mean like i don't know when i ended up in my bed what'd you say i didn't eat chips last night you said the other day that you did that with steak you found steak like in your shirt oh no yeah yeah steak in your shirt? Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You found steak in your shirt?

Dude, dude, dude. So Jackie was eating. She lost something in her bra. And she goes, I think she said, like, 80% of the food I eat comes from my tits or something like that. I forget what airline or she loses 80% of her tits. Did you say that on the podcast? No, I was just, no. And then I was like, oh, dude, I did that last night where i had been eating chocolate on the couch and at one point i looked down and i saw it's a black thing and i was like

oh piece of chocolate and i didn't i ate it it was steak i was like i don't know why i ate steak Where the fuck did I have steak? I could just see Frank Reynolds like Holy shit that's fucking funny I ate my chocolate off my chest and found out it was steak. It turns out it was Peter Luger's steak. Which is what it was. You are. You make me feel better about myself.

That's what I'm here for. The fact, when I missed the Mets podcast yesterday, I said, I can't do it. I'm closing on the house. And somebody, Kyle, texted me in earnest and said, congrats, no more gun range, dude. And that's just like a real fucking, the NYPD gun range is like a stone's throw away from where I live. Oh, really? All day. Maybe you weren't on the podcast today.

I told it. All day. You just hear. It sounds like when we joke about girls farting. It sounds like fireworks a town over. You'll just hear like – Because I don't know if you're learning how to shoot or I think sometimes they're like ammunition they confiscate. They just have to like unload, whatever it is.

You just hear gunfire 24-7 from my apartment. Good spot to kill somebody though. Great spot. No one's ever going to hear that shit. But the fact that I just have – congrats'm moving out of the gun range i'm like thanks dude and that's not a joke or an exaggeration or whatever it's like boy the only thing worse than this is being feidelberg it's fine it's not so bad i'm making no significant changes this is what i mean like i'm gonna i got i got a house but I got the house because of the kids. If I didn't have my kids, I would still upgrade my apartment, but it would be like, I don't know, man.

What are you digging for in there? I just, you know, I'm just like, things just like are the way they are. It's not going to get, it's a serious thing. You know what I think is, I think I know that like a new house is not going to change that much for me. Well, that's what – I've learned what my ceiling is for happiness. Right. See, we're actually – It's not going to get that good.

No. No matter what I do, it's not going to get that good. It's the ceiling. It's also the floor. Yeah. It's like I know if I was like really rough in it, I'd be like, I'm not going to be happy here. But like I got to a point where I was like – you like think about it you're gonna come home and watch tv right eventually your home just becomes your house becomes your house yeah and you can be in like a beautiful

like high archway high ceiling marble countertop room or whatever and eventually that's just your tv room and you're gonna watch tv the same way i watched it and we're just gonna like look at the fucking screen and it's just like that that eventually fades right so you don't really fucking care so like what you know yeah i i aim for pretty good it's pretty good yeah like because then because then if it's like i got pretty good and you try and fuck it with it and you're like maybe like well this actually sucks yeah yeah i didn't expect this to suck. But this is not pretty good. No. And I miss pretty good. My old, yeah, my regular way. And like, unless you can like ball out where like every day you're like doing something amazing,

it's just like, I don't know. I mean, to me, it's like having like the financial security is cool. But again, if I didn't have kids, I'd be like, I don't know, what do I need? I don't care. Yeah. It's like I'm saving up for anything. I don't need to do anything big. I'm fine. It is what it is. It is what I'm saving up for anything. I don't need to do anything big. I'm fine.

It is what it is. It is what it is. I can't remember. Who's our guest today? Marsden. James Marsden. James Marsden on the show today. If you haven't seen Jury Duty yet, you have to go watch it, literally, because this interview

is just about Jury Duty. That's how good of a show Jury Duty is and how almost like important of a little cultural moment it's having. We did a whole fucking hour-long interview with James Marsden about Jury Duty. The only other show – I mentioned it before, Love is Blind. We never touched upon it. Love is Blind not being able to air was – that was almost like a moment. I think they were like probably fucking pumped when they saw like the reaction. I mean that was like a moment on Twitter. Being down for

like an hour. Like, motherfuckers going crazy. Where is the fucking reunion? I almost think that they probably fixed that thing after like 10 minutes. Let's ride a little bit. I don't watch it, so I obviously didn't have a horse in the race, but the reaction was crazy.

I can't. How can you not do it's it's not some revolutionary it's a lot to do bro i i will go to my grave i think something happened i think something happened there was two people who just weren't there who were like should have been there and just weren't a part of the show and i don't know man they just live streamed chris rock they did that live stream if you can do that from like a comedy oh i don't know man they just live streamed chris rock they did that live stream if you can do that from like a comedy oh i don't know if chris rock has the cachet that love is blind i'm not i'm being serious what do you think that they they put more into i i just think they were i i again i have no idea i've done no research all i did was see on twitter i just assumed and

continue to assume until someone tells me wrong. It was just overwhelmed. The servers were too hot. I don't know. What the fuck technology was used? I guess so. But that's what I'm saying. It's like when at the end of Thrones HBO Max isn't working. It's because everyone's trying to watch the episode at the end of Thrones. Max. Max is right, yeah.

Dropping HBO is one of the craziest ideas ever. It is. Like, what are they doing? HBO is like... You hear the name HBO, where's HBO? You're like, fuck yeah. I guess so. Maybe if they say so, I mean, I don't know. Maybe I'm just too tinfoil hat. But it's just like they were tweeting like the finale wasn't what we wanted it to be.

But like, it's coming. And I was like, I don't know. These people were fucking crazy. I would love to have heard, you know, we tried to and someone brought a switchblade out on stage to fucking... Because two people just not showing up had me be like, why would they not show up? Maybe they did show up and some shit went down.

But so, yeah, Netflix just said we just couldn't handle it? No, I have no idea. That's just what I assumed. Because also that usually gets fixed in like a minute. This was like an hour. Wasn't the last episode of Thrones people couldn't watch forever? I don't think it was, like, an hour plus, was it? I was watching old episodes, staying off Twitter, trying to catch up.

And I turn it on. I was like, something must be wrong here. I was like, oh, wait. You guys haven't started watching either? That's fucking crazy. That is, like, there's somebody getting fired. I was going to say, I think it's one of those things where you're saying like – Netflix is probably like, hell yeah.

I think it's one of those things like talking to Shane after he got fired from SNL where he's like, no, it would have been better to – I would have rather it just air properly. But I mean it did – I think that there are certain people who wish it aired properly. I think like if you're a marketing person or whatever, it's great. To have people like a crack fiend being like, we need it, we need it, I think is a good thing. Yeah, but also you look like assholes. But if you're like a producer. With us, it's funny.

And also, it doesn't even happen to us anymore. But with Barstool, it's funny. It's like, oh, the Barstool way. But like someone – You just clean your shit up. I think like people like you and I who can stay up later or the world we work in kind of deal. But if someone is like, dude, I stay up until 10 p.m. I have to be at work in the morning.

This fucking sucks. Fuck you. It's almost like what Paz was talking about with Frank Ocean. He was like, no, I actually don't like him anymore. Yeah. That was one more thing I want to touch upon before we do voicemails. Frank Ocean was at Coachella and – i always say couchella i had to like change um and was supposed to do a set on an ice rink and then last minute said no i don't want

the ice rink melted down and then went up there and did like five songs like two in the morning and then there was like a time ordinance and he just left and pabs was like i'm a die-hard frank ocean fan and now i'm like i fucking hate this guy because it is i mean artists uh we were just talking about you pavs saying you're gay uh with frank ocean um like like lauren hill i always stands out in my mind lauren hill i think is like probably one of the most talented musicians ever. I think she's like the greatest female rapper ever. I think her album or one album was like the greatest piece of music ever. And then she just like never did anything else and showed up late to every single show she ever did.

And it's just like renowned for being like, I don't give a fuck and ruins your plans and ruins the festival and never shows up to the event and people still for like till up to this day she could still like have an event and people will still go and wait and then get fucked over by her but people usually are just like well the chance of me seeing this artist is like so important but i don't know something like that like like i think i'd be with Pabst. I'd be like, fuck this guy. Yeah, I think I'm thinking more of

it's actually weirdly two topics I don't really know anything about. I really don't know anything about Frank Ocean. Frank Ocean is just I don't feel his way about it,

but Frank Ocean fans are like Frank Ocean. Right. There's no casual Frank Ocean fans. I know Frank Ocean more through oh, his fans are no casual Frank Ocean. I know Frank Ocean more through like, oh, his fans are nuts. I know he did Blonde. I know he was a good tenor.

Frank Ocean got an entire festival to boo Drake. Yeah. Really? Drake came out as the special performer. Oh, they thought it was Frank Ocean. And the internet just decided it was going to be Frank Ocean. And literally the biggest star in music was your surprise. And they were like get the fuck off the stage yeah that's the that's crazy and i i think if that if like and you know how big of a drake fan i am i would have booed too

so are you still a frank fan i i tried for so long given the the benefit of the doubt every time he said an album was coming i've just been listening to the same album since 2016 yeah is it is that blonde that's blonde that's the only album he's ever done no he's done some other ones that like never never actually released it's just like they're not even like on itunes or spotify they just like were released on youtube for like an hour long one of these you know mercurial like guys who just play i like like i think i've only heard the plays to him, you know? Yeah. And then at some point it's like, okay. All right.

It's been, like, a decade, dude, you know? The, I don't know, the really high-pitched one. I don't know if that's what the whole album's like. Yeah, Nike's. Nike's. Blonde. That sounds, I like that. Yeah, no.

I guess I haven't listened to the whole album, so maybe I'm a Frank Diehard fan, too, but I like that one song. But the, thinking back with the Love is blind stuff we're like i think most people aren't like us i think we like to think we there are that we're normal and i don't think we are in the sense that like well maybe we are i don't fucking know just like go with the flow like yeah i'm just like i don't know i gotta wait like wait. I always think when like – it's kind of like somebody always says it. Like if you come back from like the broadcast at the Oscars and like the mics were not on or they were on or the camera was on something. Someone's like, oh, someone's getting fired.

It's like I don't fucking care about that. Right, right, right. I don't care that the cameras were on the wrong person for a second. Yeah. I kind of care that my show was an hour late. But like even that, I was just like, I don't know. All right, it's 9 o'clock now instead of eight o'clock yeah but i guess eight i see nine to ten eight to nine is a smaller difference it's really like whatever you know most people are

gonna watch it on demand anyway nobody watches live period well too many people watch live yeah right right oh yeah but i mean like if you if this happened in like the 90s on tell on abc yeah problem um but you think most people are like you know man i guess the same people like complain on the internet about exactly i can't tell they're used to be like the silent minority or the silent majority whatever the fuck it is and like i don't know that's even the case anymore i think it's still gotta be no i think there's still more people who are just like all right the more i talk to people the more i realize like oh you are passionate about something yeah like interesting okay yeah you don't just like i

don't just exist and then stop existing when that time comes to i have to say like i like freak ocean a lot and like i don't care about this yeah well the thing but were you you were you trying to watch the live stream and stuff are you, but that's the thing. I wasn't like diehard trying to watch the live stream. Yeah, I mean if you're there or you're doing that – but I don't know. Like music is – I think you get away with music so much as an artist because it's like you say all that. If Frank puts out an album today that's awesome, you're back in.

Back in. Like right away. Same thing with the Mets. Same thing with sports. He said like two things that are special. Two albums and he had this one performance like couple – 2017 Coachella. It's like no one is like the GOAT. Right. And that are special. Two albums and he had this one performance like couple – 2007 to Coachella. It's like no, it's like the go.

Right. And that's it. When you – Well, that was the go until blank. Gotcha. When you do something like sports, music, entertainment, and it's like I'm fucking done with them. It's like no, you're not. Yeah.

But they keep doing that. Like that's what I'm – like Lauryn Hill literally does it every time and people are always surprised and it's like yeah guys that's what she does like eventually you have to stop expecting a frank album and caring and then if you get it it's a bonus you know yeah it's like i you know i kind of gave up on kanye but like if one day somehow he puts out a college dropout type album i'm right back in you know i like don't let myself listen to it anymore because I don't want to get sick of it because I just don't think

that he's going to make any more music. Oh, wow. You're preserving it. Yeah. So I will... Occasionally, if I'm feeling in the mood,

then I will. Jackie's the biggest Frank Ocean fan. She doesn't listen to it. Wow. Okay, voicemails? No, one more thing. This is the news. This is one minute man I gotta stand up for my guy real quick

One Mr. Tim Riggins What happened to Timmy? Now he got got He got fucking fucked Saturday morning, Friday night I was in bed when it happened I don't know if it was Friday morning or Saturday night. But the – Minka Kelly has written a tell-all book.

Ooh, juicy. Specifically Friday Night Lights or just her life? No, her life. So it's like a chapter in it or whatever? Yeah, so yeah. And I just saw an excerpt from the Daily Mail. I think the Post tweeted it, a few things. And she spoke on her toxic relationship with Taylor Kitsch.

And like everything, toxic doesn't mean anything anymore. The internet ruined it. Put it on the list, toxic. Dude, so I read the excerpt. I'm not belittling what she said. I'm just – I've read what she said and nothing in it was toxic. Like it's – every failed relationship isn't toxic. I've been in toxic relationships. I've been in relationships that didn't work out.

There's good. There's bad. Toxic is like a – that's a word that needs to carry some weight. Dude, did Tim try and kill himself? Did Tim fucking abuse you? Did he make a pregnancy? Did he physically hit you? She was describing it, and it got a lot of play.

I had multiple women text me, because they're as attracted to the other kids as I am. And they were like, oh no. And none of you bitches read the article. So I had to learn every one of them.

I had to be like, don't you worry. I did a deep dive. Here's what actually happened. And she just used the word toxic because she thinks every fucking relationship ever is toxic.

No. I've been in relationships that I'm not in anymore. It was not a toxic relationship. It just didn't work out. I've been in toxic ones too. I got both sides of the coin. You know, that's the thing. They haven't been in relationships that I'm not in anymore. It was not a toxic relationship. It just didn't work out. I've been in toxic ones too. Yeah, I've been in ones. I got both sides of the coin.

You know, that's the thing. They haven't been in one yet. She has that too. Yeah? Yeah. That's crazy to me because I think people say it. In the same excerpt,

she then goes on to describe she had to move out of her house when she was 16 and moved in with her boyfriend and he forced her to have sex on camera and give him blowjobs on camera. That's fucking toxic. That's a toxic relationship. That might even be a step above

toxic. Yeah, it's criminal. I know she didn't say forced, but it was coerced kind of deal. So I'll give it the toxic tag, but if you want to tell me it's the other one, fine, sure. But the Taylor Kitsch, she's like, we were in an on-again, off-again relationship.

And on set, people were nice to him about it, and then they didn't really talk to me about it. And they weren't even mean, but she said, she's like, I went and I acted like a professional. And I smiled, whereas Tim was a little more open with – or Taylor was a little more open with his feelings. So like people would take him out to drinks and no one took me out to drinks and this and that. And I was like, it sounds like they might have just liked him more. Yeah, and also if you go in and put a smile on your face, they don't think they need to take you to drinks and shit. Like, you know what I'm saying? Something like busted up over the breakup, they might get more attention.

You can't throw the toxic word on my man without any fucking toxic evidence. I think a broad stroke. What do you think there needs to be for it to be toxic? I would say – I think I can boil it down to like a thing. I would think it's I'm going to kill myself But no Because you can be in a toxic relationship But they don't threaten suicide

That's my line Once I get that It usually comes about eight months in I go alright this one's got toxic Yeah listen We like don't see eye to eye on, like, something in our relationship. So it puts a strain on it and it's, like, not fun anymore. That's not toxic.

That's a relationship that, you know, you found out, like, he wanted to have kids and you don't. And so, like, you haven't been happy together for the last couple months or whatever the fuck, you know. That's just a relationship going south. Does he regularly beat you in public fucking relationship and again i'm not like belittling what she went through i'm sure she had terrible emotions but just like what like the the the words i read the maybe there's more to the chapter and they left out the juicy part which would be a crazy thing for an article to do But the excerpt I read

I would definitely not classify as intoxication It didn't work out First of all the tag just sticks Which sucks But so many people would be like Oh that's just clearly a man I don't even know if she was trying to put it on him I think

To give her credit as well, it seemed like she was sharing responsibility in a sense where she didn't get the attention she felt she wanted or needed from her co-workers afterwards. But I don't think she was ever like, it was Taylor's fault, we weren't. It was just like... It's a thing that's happening.

But then that's not toxic. When something's toxic... There's a source of toxicity. Nikki Kelly in all-time mysterious smoke. She never really blew up the way she probably should have for her looks and her time here. You know what I mean? I was always like, what's up? What's going on here?

Her dad's an Aerosmith? But he's not the guy. Like Joe Carey? Yeah. Something like that. he's not the guy. Like Joe Carey? Yeah. Something like that. That is the guy. He's the guitarist. Her dad was the guitarist for a little while when he wasn't with the band.

God, he was like the big one. But still. That's bullshit. But yeah, toxic is just a word that's been diluted now where it's like every relationship that didn't work out was toxic. No. That's the internet. It just fucking dilutes things to the point that they just don't.

They're ruined. Nothing. Which brings me to my final take. And this is sizzling. Hot. Hot. Tizzy. I think the internet has ruined home runs. What ruined Home runs

What Home runs Maybe the most pure thing In this world God's green earth a home run And maybe it's because I just follow too many baseball people Is it just Jared It's not just Jared

He's ruined home runs Every account It's not even baseball people No, because now every account. He's ruined home runs. Every account. It's not even baseball people. I follow too many people who tweet about baseball where it's like everyone tweets the same video of every home run. Like why you can't? Kaboom! Moon jump! It's a home run.

It's a home run. Do that when it goes 700. I was going to say. Do it in a big moment. Otherwise it's a walk off. Is it a colossal bomb? So-and-so went deep. No cap stocks necessary. If you want to see it,

here it is. If every home run is incredible, no home runs are incredible. I'm with you on that. I don't think that's a crazy thing. Every single home run does not need to be celebrated like it's a Grand Slam in Game 7. Also, that's Jared's fault. He started it, but everyone does it now.

I don't get the covering of an entire sport. I can't do that. It's like I like my team. I also, you know, just tweeting about baseball. Pavs, change the password. Just fucking get rid of my Twitter. I can't do it, man. Baseball is toxic.

Baseball is toxic, let me tell you. Frank the Tank just making up the Mets sweep this weekend, and then he says, no, no, no, they actually lost two out of three because they should have lost the games they won. Okay. Well, we've officially left the planet Earth now. Now we are living in Frank's reality realm, like his own made-up little zone where the Mets are actually losing games

that they win. Fuck you. Change the password. Change the password. Change the password. All right, voicemails brought to you by Pirate Water, the party drink of a generation. When it's all said and done and they're doing like a documentary on Barstool or Gen X, Gen Z, I never know.

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It's four different flavors, only $2. You can get it everywhere from gas stations to fucking Walmarts in some places. They're rolling it out everywhere. If you go to drinkpiratewater.com, you can just order it and have it delivered to you, or you can check out which liquor stores and which corner stores have it. The word we got from Pirate Water was – do you think we can say about their goals or no? I don't know what I'm talking about. I think so. I think it's a good thing it's in in two months it's gonna hit it's

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She's great. Caroline is very, very funny. Go listen to that episode if you haven't yet. I have a message to all women. Oh, good. And to all people who I – I'm not putting Caroline in the second group. Or people I don't know all that well. I guess Caroline's kind of in there.

I consider Caroline a friend, but we're not best friends. Stop putting me in group texts with my good friends. What happened? Caroline has sent us a very nice message

just thanking us for having us on the podcast. Oh, she did? It's on Instagram. It's on Instagram. Oh, okay. But I can't reply to it because my best friend is also on it. And in order to reply to it, I have to be very gay. Exclamation point.

Hard, kissy face. You can't mix friend groups in group chats. Where it's like, no, no, no. I talk to you super different than he knows how I talk. Okay, all right. Let's do this then. Let's see who can be gayer on their group chat. We will both reply to Caroline.

And we will see who can cook up the gayest response. When someone puts you on a group chat with just a regular friend. Yeah. And I have to be like, you're kidding you're the best That's not how I talk That's not how he knows me He knows me in a different world than this I had it with people

With people who I Just work with in Other groups here at Barstool Or people I've met like a mutual friend Puts me on a group text with someone else and that person has got – and I got to match it with like awesome. Can't wait to get it done. I'm like this – my buddy is reading this like what a fucking fake asshole.

Bro, the – if my messages to girls or like non-friends got leaked, I would rather all my nudes, all my search history, all that. And just like the cutesy, nicety bullshit. Oh, my God. It's so good. It's so good. OMFG, stop. You are the best.

It was our absolute pleasure to have you on the show. Son of a bitch! I'm going to cook up something so good. That, by the way, I don't remember that video she sent me. I'm like, thank God I blacked that out because I probably would have been like, yo, the new girl is crazy. That was a – did she play it for you? Yeah. I mean it's crazy.

Hey, guys. I got a lot of packages in the mail, so I just thought I'd do a quick unboxing haul. So, starting off, I got this watch. Then I also got this really cute necklace. I got this tank top from Urban Outfitters. I think it would look really cute with low-rise jeans. I also got this aloe onesie. Workout onesie.

I thought it would look really cute with a bunch of like... It's unhinged. That was the behavior of a crazy person. It might have been that we were in surviving Barstool mode and I just said this poor girl is in, like her brain is mashed right now. But if that was out of nowhere, I would have been like, we have to fire this girl.

She's a crazy person. She's a liability. She's going to shoot the was out of nowhere, I would have been like, we have to fire this girl. She's a great sportsman. She's a liability. She's going to shoot the place up. Also, I didn't realize this. Like for whatever reason, I just never put it together until I was like sitting next to her. She's the office big bird. She got a dethrone Kelly. She's bird.

I mean, she's got two inches on Kelly. We have three clips about her height. Yeah, I mean, she's got two inches on the big bird Caroline talked for two hours We're like, that girl's tall I was like I was writing out the tweet I was like, if you don't know Caroline, here she is

I was like, she's six feet tall, she was homeschooled She's a bird Oh, and she's funny, here you go Alright, voicemails, she's funny. Here you go. All right, voicemails. Let's go. KFC, Fights, Abs, Jackie, Nick, Colleen. Just calling in and asking if you guys have had, like, a KFC Radio potluck in, like, an episode. Guys, what are we doing?

Did you hear that? I couldn't hear it. Yeah, I could hear it if you guys were to have a KFC radio potluck in an episode or of an episode you all bring like representing

your favorite food lives can't bring mangoes or sour patch kids and KFC no agents no ones if we were to have the KFC potluck

what would you bring well we got a mango update. Oh, boy. I realized something. Maybe over the weekend, maybe – yeah, probably over the weekend, maybe Thursday, Friday. There's two guesses I have here. What do you got?

One, I think that maybe you've been doing the math wrong on the serving sizes. No. No? Okay. No. Okay. The other one is that it've been doing the math wrong on the serving sizes. No. No? Okay. No. Okay. The other one is that it's just wreaking havoc to your body. Yeah.

Yeah. I think that you probably – there's something in mangoes that you really shouldn't be eating. It's not that they just – I don't know. I thought maybe it was just because I've been eating healthy and this and that. And I just figured maybe just like all the roughage that I'm used to has been doing things different to me. Right. That happens. All of a sudden you start eating different. So what you're saying is you're shitting on a lot of mangoes.

Just nonstop shitting. Bro, it's great. Like you can't get off the bowl mangoes give you the toots and it's it's just i only realized it because i ate my 60 servings too fast and i did and i didn't have mangoes for two days and i stopped farting incessantly do you know how happy because i've been eating the mangoes and i started in the old studio and i've been eating the mangoes in this new studio do you know there was that one episode in the old studio to close it out you guys remember that where you farted like 11 times i literally thought you

shit your pants i've been so happy we got different cushions on this couch so i could fart and you wouldn't feel it during interviews the first two weeks in here, three weeks, however long we've been here, I was just farting, dude. I was just hammering farts. I was like, oh, this new diet really got me tootin'. And it turns out I didn't eat mangoes for two days.

Normal amount of farts. Let me say this, dude. If you use the phrase, gives me the toots, you are a disgusting 100-year-old man. That's how I was farting, man. Jackie, what would you do if someone... I don't know, the woman I sent, I gave her a rocket ship by me on the street.

I thought those were all just like, no, it's mangoes. It's just mango farts. It's been fucking mangoes. I just want to, for the record, on April 3rd, I tweeted at you, eating mangoes in excess can cause diarrhea. I called you a ticking time bomb.

Oh, Will. I had a delay on it. I'll also say, I think there's a lot of things, if you eat to the excess that you're eating, it just becomes a problem. It might not be mangoes' fault. Big Mango might be like, bro, we didn't say to eat 70 of them. That's on you, dude. Yeah, it is. It gives you 70 of them. That's on you, dude.

Gives you the toots is disgusting. What do you think your friends would say about a guy? Talk about the ick. What if a guy was perfect but he always says to you, oh, babe, I got the toots tonight. Sorry, I had 15 servings of mangoes today. I got toots. I wouldn't even share that with my

friends. I would just be like, my boyfriend says the toots. That's toots. I wouldn't even share that with my friends. I would just be like, it's too embarrassing. Yeah, like my boyfriend says the toots and it's fucking disgusting. I'll say this about the mangoes too. I'm going to do it as not graphic as possible. Jesus Christ. I don't know exactly what it is

that it does to the inside of you, but I've used my toilet brush more in the last month than i have heavens to betsy like it is like every time i went to the bathroom i didn't think there was anything wrong with that. That was it. Dude, you don't have to say every single bowel movement thing. Right? I almost kicked you out of the room for this. I knew you had to end the podcast anyway. I was going to hear it anyway.

Unfortunately, Jackie knows more about that than any woman who's ever been in my life. This is not something I talk about to people. For some reason, you put a microphone in front of me, and I'm like, do you want to know about my BMs? You need to do a show like it goes down in the BMs. And it's just about fucking shit. Yo, if you want to talk, go on down

in the BMs. Talk to your boy. Because you fucking eating mangoes are getting sticky. Oh, wow. Next goddamn voicemail. Fucking Christ. Let sticky. Next goddamn voicemail. Fucking Christ. Let me know last goddamn voicemail. I got to get out of here. Melting my brain.

Turning me into a fucking waterhead moron. Anyway, I got a new shipment of mangoes today. I'm smoking those hours, all right? I look outside. There's a deer. There's a deer outside. And I'm watching the deer. The deer begins to use the bathroom.

I continue to watch the deer, not in a weird way, but just because it was the vibes in that moment. And I start to anticipate a poop because I wanted to see what it would look like because, as I'm sure you're familiar the deer have a peculiar nature to their fecal matter if you're not familiar it's just a tiny little pile of balls a perfect tiny little pile of balls so when it doesn't happen I suppose it was peeing I begin thinking we take it for granted that they really are just out here pooping a perfect little tiny pile of balls

and it was kind of like a god is real moment for me because i was like nah there's probably a scientific explanation but i'm not about it that's god's work man that's god's work so what's that thing for you where you're just like nah this is where i draw the line like that's gotta be god man there's no way that's a coincidence science. None of that. That's God. This kid's the best. Yeah, he's awesome. It's a great question too, though. It's a great question.

What do you think is like so perfect that God must have done it? Him, his being Deer's shit balls is something. I got to Google Deer's species real quick. Yeah, like is it like like, a perfect sphere? I gotta Google. Oh, yeah! Let me see. Wow. Holy shit, they're, like, they're, like... It's literally holy shit.

It's almost, like, a little bit... It's almost, like, a little bit egg-shaped. It's not, like, perfectly balls, but it's, like... We gotta pinch it off a little bit. But that... God, you are disgusting. You are... That looks like a bunch of black

eggs, right? But they are completely the same. God might have been like... God fucked around and had a good day that day. On the eighth day, he made fucking... I think I disagree wholeheartedly. This might be Satan's work. Oh, the work of the devil. 666. Well, it day. I think if I put it to you... On the eighth day, he made fucking... I think I disagree wholeheartedly. This might be Satan's work.

Oh, the work of the devil, 666. Well, it's just like if I had... Let's say one night I had 15 servings of mangos, and my toots... And I get into the bathroom, and it's... God damn it. Glenn had just feed into the poop and toots talk. And it's just a hundred pellets.

I'd be like, I wish this was a log. Right? I'm not wrong in this. I guess so. You want it to be a log instead of pellets? Yeah. I guess so. I don't want to be a Tommy gun. I want to be a log instead of pellets? Yeah I guess so I don't want to be a Tommy gun I want to be a double barrel shotgun

I don't know man I don't know You want to put like an anaconda in that bowl? It's just I want to be done faster Right but what if it's just like Like rapid fire That's crazy I don't know Like rapid fire. That's crazy. He's down.

The, I don't know. When I think about this, Jackie, what would you bring to the potluck? Yeah, we never answered that. Jackie's bringing Italian meat. Jackie's bringing Italian meat.

Feidelberg's bringing mangoes. I ordinarily, I would have said donuts, but I think I got to bring the Haagen-Dazs ice cream at this point. I'm like a year strong now. I've probably had that ice cream 365 days in a row. I think I took a break when we went on the road. That's it.

Otherwise, 365. 365. Those hands have come out of those pockets for a while, huh? I don't like the stomach as much as the tits. Really? The tits are tough. I don't even think they're... It's just in the shirt. You know what I mean? It's not like if I take my shirt off,

I have boobs, but just in the... I don't know. It's such a fine line between... It's a problem i've dealt with my whole life so i'm just like yeah yeah you're good you don't care anymore you're good about but you also look better than you did it's such a fine line between pecs and tits you know what i mean like if you're the right build you want you want your chest bursting out of your shirt you know but it's like why does like like that look okay but like this doesn't you know what I mean it's like not that big of a difference but it's a big difference it's like that guy's strong

and that guy's a chick that sucks I'm gonna start wearing a bra I'm gonna start wearing the Spanx shirts fuck it you know fuck it just look better we can look better on camera yeah I mean I'm not gonna but

I didn't think you were if somebody were to like put one in front of me every day when I was getting dressed we can look better on camera. Yeah? I mean, I'm not going to, but. Yeah, I didn't think you were. If somebody were to, like, put one in front of me every day when I was getting dressed, I'd be like,

okay, I'll put it on. But I'm not going to do that, you know? Yeah. What? Nothing. I'm just envisioning you

in Spanx right now. What if I did the show in just the Spanx shirt? Imagine that's all everyone's doing in Spanx. They're like, okay. And then the next day, that's it. I'm just in like a onesie.

Oh, you thought I was going to wear a shirt over it? What are you, an idiot? In like a tank top bodysuit. I paid $100 for the shirt. I don't want people to see it? Are you nuts? Yeah, I bought a new fucking Mustang to keep in the garage. Doubt it.

What do you think God's hand? What was God's plan, dude? Part of me thinks, I don't know how this happens. I guess shout out Shakespeare or whatever, but things like Bacardi and party rhyming was just a gift from the gods above. Oh, that's pretty good.

It's just perfect. Every rapper in the world can do that. This is a hard question. I don't... It's such a hard question. I don't... It's such a great example. It's like... It's a perfect example. I would say, and this is probably just because he's drawing my...

Well, the last 15 minutes have drawn my mind to one thing. But butthole has got to be up there. Buttholes? Yeah. Yeah, we talked about it the other day how it's so closed without being, like, closed. Yeah. I mean, nothing gets in or out until you, like,

really put something in there. The human body is airtight. Yeah. That's crazy. But it's also pretty. It's also aesthetically pleasing. The asshole? Yeah. For us, like for perverts.

I think most people do not think the asshole is aesthetically pleasing. I think it's so aesthetically pleasing that if you remove it from the context of an asshole, you go, well, that's pretty nice looking. No. It's symmetrical it's oh i mean there's some elements to it that are pleasing i suppose but like if you just showed the asshole is not like bro asakira sold her shirts within her zoomed an asshole on but that's because we want to fuck asakira's asshole like if if if if her asshole was like like if she sold but it was like it wasn't like a like a what the it was like oh okay i will give you that it's you know like the vagina is like right yeah okay and buttholes are riley uniform they're you know some are better than

others but some are better than i would say there is like it's probably like a bell curve I guess, right? Like there's some gruesome ones. Yeah. There's some perfect ones and then most people in between, it's like this is this way. You got a couple spokes. I got more than you. You got like a freckle on yours. This one is pink.

This one is brown. Freckles always throw you for a loop. Yeah, it's like – wait a minute. Is that – Oh, just an imperfection. Well, yeah, I'm always like, is that like the skin or is like – was it always that way or was there so much there that it turned that color? What's going on here? No, I mean like the specific moles.

Oh, like when it's like brown. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is that? Oh, I got it. That's a little leftover. Nope, it's still there. Every time? Okay, yeah. What is that? Oh, I got it. That's a little leftover. Nope, it's still there. Every time? Okay, yeah.

But I think ultimately we like them because it's the... You have to go watch the YouTube for this one. I will not explain it. If you're listening, stop right now. Look at the timestamp. Go find it on YouTube. John, you are despicable. You are despicable.

If it was not attached to like a female asshole like it wasn't sexual I don't think you'd care no but that's what I mean it also works as art

if it was just like if it was just on the wall you wouldn't walk into someone's house having never seen a butthole before in your life and they had a butthole

on the wall you wouldn't go what the fuck is that it just makes it so uncomfortable when he calls it a butthole I can't it really they had a butthole on the wall you wouldn't go what the fuck is that you go okay it's a butthole like it really doesn't i really don't like it i got i got some fucked up autocorrects right now buttholes in there yeah but i i hit b on my phone it's like butthole you trying to say butthole right now no i'm saying goodbye also i can't say very anymore it's autocorrects to burt burt wow i i i have a problem with i i've misspelled some stuff so frequently that it autocorrects to the incorrect way and that's just the word now that's what that's just the

word now always is just spelled wrong for my autocorrect and it just i always misspell always it's uh you may have swayed me. The asshole may be art. I think the asshole is, again, my mind's been pretty asshole. But like a lot of people

out there would be like, ew, you know, which is weird. But not if you separate it. So lame though. Those people are weird

and prudish about butt stuff. But even those people, if you were to trick them, if you were to be like, what do you think about this? That's a pretty cool design. Yeah, put it this way.

Chocolate companies aren't making chocolate assholes if they're not pretty. Yeah. You know what I mean? They're not like, look at this armpit. The Boston Bruins aren't basing their logo on it. I'll never forget when Gracie Tracy said, I have a perfect 12-spoke asshole. I wanted to be like, did someone sit there? Yeah.

All right. Let's get out of here. It's interview time. We've got... Who's on the show? James Marsden. James Marsden is on the show to talk about Jerry Doody, which is the newest...

This is the best advertisement sponsorship... Not sponsorship. Gu guest appearance you're ever going to get because you know the whole point of doing it is to spread the word and market the show and jury duty you have to watch it because it's amazing you have to watch it to understand this interview with marsden so if you are a kfc radio fan you have not watched jury duty yet go watch it as of right now there's uh six of the eight episodes or eight of the ten either there's two episodes left uh it is it's genius it's it's truly like genius television in my mind and Marsden is just the fucking man so uh go watch Jerry duty and then check out

James Marsden on KFC radio just pop the top off all the way man no because I look silly when I do the same oh my god please do not take your shirt off, bro. Bro, if you took your shirt off right now, I would leave the room. Look at me. Look at what you could be, but you're too late. Answer me these questions. Oh, my God. It's not a bad idea. James Marsden interviews people with their shirt off and asks them these questions. Oh, my God. That's not a bad idea.

James Marsden interviews people with his shirt off and asks uncomfortable questions. I mean, if there was ever a time for me to start a new show, it would be like, right now. This is a hard interview for us to do because Jury Duty is fucking hilarious, so we've got to talk about that. Thank you.

He's a huge fan of 30 Rock. Oh, wow. We've just found out about the Pop-Tart movie you're doing, he's a huge fan of 30 Rock oh wow yeah okay we've just found out about the Pop-Tart movie you're doing and I like solely run on Pop-Tarts

we have a huge box right over there huge box of like a million flavors they're so good aren't they not to mention X-Men everything else

Sonic everything else we did an interview with Russell Crowe a week ago and we didn't talk about Gladiator we didn't get to Gladiator with Russell Crowe.

And you're one of those guys right now where I'm like, I don't even know what we're going to do because there's too many projects. I'm not going to tell you what they are, so you better figure it out. Well, dude, Jury Duty is more than just a good show. This is like an experiment, social experiment social media tv everything together so the way that it's it's already started and i think will continue to spread like wildfire where it's not just like hey have you seen that show have you seen succession it's great it's like have you seen jury duty do you understand what it is i want to tell you about it like do you get the joke you know you want to like tell i want to tell everybody about it there's

this guy you know so um and there's been a couple of those throughout the years. But this one is like top notch, well done. So, this one, this is the first one I remember where, because we talked about one. Have you ever heard of The Push? The Push. It was a Netflix show. The Push was sick. Where it was, it was like, it was only like an hour and a half documentary, I think.

It wasn't even a documentary. Whatever like an hour and a half documentary, I think. It wasn't even a documentary. Whatever. An hour and a half show. And it's a similar concept where it's like one person who doesn't know what's going on. Everyone else is actors. Only it's not a comedy. And they convince this person to kill somebody. And in the person's head, it ends with like there's – I forget how they get to where they are. Here's what the basics were. They're at like a cocktail party.

Somebody accidentally served an allergy, like a food with an allergy. Somebody ate it. That person got in trouble. And then they're like, we've got to push this person off the edge of the roof. Oh, my god. And some people who were on the show were like, no. And there were other people who were like, all right, we've got to do this, man. They literally pushed him.

The guy's on bungee cords and they actually push him off the roof and then the guy who's like not a part of the show was like okay like now i'm an accessory like we got to get out of here like crazy shit and then they put their face on the show and like at the end they're like it was a prank and i was like uh i don't think i'd put my face on there knowing that i basically would agree to murder there was one guy that didn't know that it was just all a script. Yeah, so he thinks he's pushing someone off to their death. And he pushes him.

And then the guy, there's like a net below it. And the guy's on a safety harness and all that stuff. Is that incriminating to some degree? That's what I was like, how do you not? It's a degree of pre-crime. Lock that guy up. You're a juror, you tell us. But it was like an experiment in how to manipulate someone.

Every little thing they did, like that allergy thing, it was like, I should stop you from eating it. And they were like, no, don't do that. And it was like, okay, I'll agree to do that. I'll agree to do this. And it built up to murder. Right, right. I mean, and Sasha Baron Cohen is great at making somebody look like an ass or doing or getting them to do something that they normally

might not. But it's usually targeted at somebody who might be asking for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel really, like, this is a tricky genre. Totally. Like, Jury Duty was pitched to me by the office creators, right? It was like Lee Eisenberg, Gene

Stupnitsky, David Burnad, the creator of White Lotus, and Todd Schulman, who does all of Sasha's stuff. And it was like, number one out of the gates, it was like, I don't want to do a prank show. I'm not, I don't want to prank somebody who doesn't know, he's in the dark. Especially with pranks I've become on the internet, it's like, ah, I walk up to you

and I punch you in the face, it's a prank. Right, it gets cruel, and I'm like, I don't want to do that. But where can we have, I was very excited about doing something that was improv-based. I love all the old Christopher Guest movies. I love The Office. I love Larry David, Larry Sanders' show, all this kind of stuff. That's actually, speaking of Larry David, I would,

and this is incredibly high praise, when I first started watching Curb 15 years ago, whenever it was, I could only watch two episodes at a time because the tension and it was so much. I did two of Journey to Duty last night and I was like, I gotta go to bed. I can't do any more.

I love it. I'm trying to turn my mom on to it. She's like, I can't watch it. It's too uncomfortable. I had a pill in my lap. I was just squeezing tight. But I would love to get into a room and play with all these great improv people. It's something I'd never really exercised before. And they said, but here's the deal. Like, its concept is kind of a high wire act where for three weeks,

with the backdrop of people serving jury duty for three weeks on a civil case. We populate the room with one celebrity who's like whatever you want, like an exaggerated version of yourself. A bunch of improv people who aren't really recognizable. And then one guy who doesn't know that the whole thing is fake. I'm like, okay, but that sounds like a prank. And they said, no, no. What we're doing is creating a hero's journey for this guy. We're surrounding him with odd, weird circumstances. There were eight scripts.

It was all scripted, but there was no dialogue script. So it was like, okay, this is the moment where Morrison goes over and tries to talk about all his movies and get attention. Here's the moment where Todd pulls out his chair pants. Chance. Yeah. So all of that was very carefully crafted. But I was not prepared for,

and nor could you, this guy who comes from wherever he comes from and it's so subjective about what's going to embarrass the guy or make him laugh or if he's going to know who the hell I am. So it was exciting because you kind of had to be nimble and be able to pivot. Like if he wanted to turn right and we wanted able to pivot. If you wanted to turn right and we wanted him to turn left, we have to turn right with him. We have to sort of adjust. ethically, I was like, oh, I just want to

make sure that this won't get cruel. I won't... I'm never going to... I had this conversation with the producers every day, and they were with me. I can't turn the screws to this guy. I can't do anything that's going to humiliate him. I'll act like a jackass. As far as I've seen.

To the nth degree. I'll go nuts. And I did. Although there is the one scene where he acts like a jackass. We were just talking about it. Dude, the Sonic. Oh, right. For him to just be like, you were like, yeah, I'm in Sonic.

And he's like, I heard that was a piece of shit. I was like, oh! Who would do that? Are crazy i mean not and not in the sense that i'm making fun of ronald but it was like that's if i'm playing this character uh the the heightened version of james marsden who is not interested in any conversation that doesn't involve a project that he's worked on yeah i mean that's that's like he just opened the doors up for me to just be crestfallen right and then talk about well yeah a lot of people did love it it made a lot of money and you know because if he didn't like oh you're great in that that's cool you know yeah it's not as and then when he comes back in the

next day i humble myself before you. You can't script it. You literally can't script it. The guy is so pure-hearted. Even the fact that he's named Ronald. At one point I was like, is this – am I getting played? Is he an actor too? Because it was that good that I was like, wait a minute. This can't be real.

Right. There were a couple of interviews I've done just doing press for this. They've said the same thing. Really? It was so – I mean that's got to be the highest – Is this guy an actor, too? That's got to be the highest compliment you can pay.

I guess – so the background was what? That he replied to a Craigslist ad saying we're going to do a documentary and that. Because I was like, why would this guy take it so seriously? Why would he be willing to do all these confessionals and talk about all this stuff? And I guess it was something that he agreed upon ahead of time, so he was like, alright, I'll do it for real. I'll screw this up, because I wasn't part of that process, but

my thought is that he was told that there was going to be a documentary made on jury duty. Right. And in doing the documentary, you're also going to serve your jury duty. Got it. So you're just going to have to do it. And he's just kind of... And I remember seeing, or hearing him talk about an interview that they did with him when they were kind of selecting who's going to be on this.

Obviously, him not knowing that this was all fake, but him saying that he was at a stage of his life where he was open to adventure or something. Next stage was, you know, just kind of open and curious about what life brings you next. Again, I feel it's not my jurisdiction to answer that for him but that was the feeling was that he was

you know kind of like open to whatever and he was probably like people following him around with cameras it's going to be a jury duty documentary like who's going to watch that

yeah it's going to go to you know public broadcast or something much like The Office what the characters thought in The Office like no one's ever going to watch this.

When Michael finally hands his mic off, he's like, if anyone ever sees this, I guess let me know. Those characters didn't think anyone was going to see it. Well, you know, every job you think,

you hope people are going to tune in and check it out, but you just never know. And just this weekend, the fact that everyone's going, it took over TikTok. It just blew. It's so funny how that works, right? right one i don't even know what that means um two it's like wait so they're on tiktok but the show is on amazon freebie are they like watching yeah are they watching clips are on tiktok

and that kind of lures people yeah like the clips are like shows like that too not like that i have i don't have a ton of experience in them, but like The Push and all that. It doesn't feel like – this feels like a combination of a reality and a TV show because I thought – I went into it thinking, okay, this guy is going to be the focal point of everything. I didn't realize it was going to be, whether it's scripted or non-scripted, just like two characters talking to each other who you know aren't so so when when ronald's not involved right and it's two actors and ronald's not even like in ear in earshot are you you're doing that just to keep the show going and to keep it like some of that's even like that's some of the best stuff when we're in the cody thing with it's hilarious and ronald's not even involved that was scripted but it wasn't again no dialogue scripted but it was like here's a beat that we're going to push and it was Lee and Gene and all the

brilliant writers that were a part of this like the poor kid who's lost his girlfriend went to Mexico and he's Mormon or something and he wanted to go because they were going to have sex for the first time and now she's there with some guy with a boner which by the way,

I took issue with that. He either has... I think he has a little penis. Because of the way it was... Because it's coming right out. I remember seeing it going like, that's not as egregiously big as it could be.

But also, maybe they were like, if it gets bigger than this, it might be a little too goofy. Silly. Yeah. Right? It's already goofy that she's posting it on her Instagram, and he's got a sword sticking out of his hand. I forget why I brought that up, though. So we were talking about the actors doing their parts that are scripted.

Oh, right. So when you're in there actors doing their parts that are scripted. Oh, right. So when you're in there, so every day, the actors, the writers, the director, everyone would show up there at the courthouse before Ronald got there, go over for an hour the day. Here's what this, here's what happens today, here's the beats we're going to push, Mars and this is where we talk about the script, the Lone Pine. And so you're sort of prepared for, you know, it's a little rehearsal. And then everyone gets in their car, leaves, hides around the script, the Lone Pine. And so you're sort of prepared for,

it's a little rehearsal. And then everyone gets in the car, leaves, hides around the corner, and then he arrives in his bus, and then we all arrive at jury duty. And once you walk through that door, for four hours, you're in a pressure cooker. I was going to say, that's got to be,

like, are you nervous? Oh, never been more exhausted in my life. Yeah, that's a whole different type of actor. But today, you're in character all day long. And not only are you in character, you're trying not to screw the whole thing up. Sure. Because you're going to call one of the actors by their real name and not their character name. And do something that's going to make him go, what the fuck is going on? Was there any of those moments?

Sure, there were some close ones. Yeah? There was a bit at the metal detector where the security guard got into an argument with one of our cast members i mean they're both cast members right and it got kind of too silly a little bit i think and he was like this can't be real so that that was my thought like even a jury uh going on a field trip to the factory in question and like looking around like detectives I was like, I would like to think

that I would say like, wait a minute, this is not how fucking jury duty goes, but I think it's one of those things where you just Oh, that wouldn't give me pause at all Walking around with flashlights looking at the fucking mannequins I think probably the sort of creative license

they took there was that this is a jury duty documentary. Right, right, right. So some things will be a little bit wacky. This is his last case. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like you would go to the scene of the crime. Like the whole jury? Yeah.

If you told me that's what happened, I'd go, that makes sense. Sure, yeah. But to answer your question before, because you can't always be next to Ronald and you are with other actors, that's when I had a lot of fun, which is with somebody who also knows it.

In on a joke, yeah. And there were camera guys kind of following this conversation over here and another guy was following this conversation. Another guy was on Ronald. Well, that's what also makes it feel so real, right? If no one was talking when Ronald, he'd be like, what's going on? If it was a camera on him the whole time, he Ronald. Well, that's what also makes it feel so real, right? If no one was talking when Ronald was like, what's going on? If it was camera on him

the whole time, he'd be like, what's up? And it was easier to push some of the comedy moments. There's a moment where this is completely not scripted in any way, where I was literally sitting there taking a real nap. You're there for five hours. That was real?

But you were asleep? Yes. There's shit in there where I'm working out because we're in a windowless box all day. I got to get my reps in, man. Doing push-ups. I mean, I'm doing this show jury duty. I don't know if anyone's going to see it.

Whatever. I'm going to work on it. I got to worry about my next blockbuster. Fuck this. It's a blurred line of reality and scripted. It's like we were in there. So, yeah, I mean, that's about my next blockbuster. Fuck this. It's a blurred line of reality and scripted. It's like we were in there. So, yeah, I mean, that's so funny to think of. Like, it's a hit now, and I think it's about in the next couple weeks.

I really think it's about to blow up. But while you're doing it, you're probably like – Probably yelling at your agent. Was he even worried about time? I mean, that's so funny. No, because you can't think – I couldn't think of any comps, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's another show like this that –

Good for you for going on a limb and doing it. I was like, listen, I've always wanted to do the improv thing. I love the show creators. You're in great hands with those guys. And the concept was pretty ambitious. So good. And I thought David and Lee and Gene, those guys, were like again

good company to be in so you're in good hands but sure a week in I was like what the hell am I doing yeah and is this going to be cruel

at the end of this yeah right so and maybe I don't want to spoil it so maybe we can air this later Nick or something

what was the reveal like was there like I haven't we haven't seen it I don't want to know. I want to know what did he...

Not the show, but did he... Was there moments off camera where he was mad? Was he like, fuck you guys? Was he laughing? Or is that part of it? I don't want to spoil it, but I... The one thing that makes this thing really work is that that guy is such a pure-hearted, good, decent human being.

He really is, yeah. And there were characters that were designed to put him off, like scare him or freak him out. And the guy literally just put his arm around those characters. There's a guy named Todd with the chair pants and he's weird and slipping him notes under his door. And you can tell that Ronald was such an empath and sweet guy. He's like, I'm going to show you Bugs Life because it's about this guy who feels different.

I'm like, oh, my God, this guy is a gem. Yeah, he really is. So, again, another reason why I didn't want to ever turn the screws to him because it's just unfair to make fun of him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially if what we're doing is really, by the end of this, celebrating this guy and his spirit. And it's like he sort of had his 12 Angry Men moment where he united us all and became the leader.

And hopefully the journey along the way is funny and fun because of me being a jackass and all the other characters being strange and weird. I'm still holding out. I think there might be a big reveal coming for you that Ronald was in on this the whole time. Believe me. Okay, so what is it? No, because – I'm sorry.

No, no, go ahead. I was going to say because I watch so much weird TV that I was telling him earlier, you couldn't get me in this because I already recognize three characters. Yeah, there are some. Outside of you. Mecky. There's the old woman who... Barbara.

Not the one who falls asleep. The one who just says, it's not for me. That was so good. It's just not for me. Then there's, I forget their names. I noticed the guy from Sex Lives of College Girls. Yeah, that's Mecky. He's noticing the white supremacist from the bar really quickly. He watches too much TV.

He's like, I think you should leave. Right. And also everything everywhere all at once. And then I think his name is Todd. No, not Todd, obviously. He's got brown hair. He's kind of disheveled, taller guy. Yeah, Kirk Fox.

Kirk Fox. From Parks and Rec. Parks and Rec, exactly. That's the other risk. If you notice anybody other than you, it would have just been like, well, wait a minute. You just have to pivot. guy like yeah kirk fox kirk fox from parks and rec parks and rec exactly yeah yeah i mean that's the other risk if you notice anybody other than you it would have just been like well wait a minute just have to pivot yeah ronald said something early on about i think he made a parks and rec like reference oh and so kirk has so much more to do and they were like you have to like back up no way really we have to back up because he's gonna every day you're adjusting to what this

guy that sucks for him, but that's cool. That's cool. He was one of the funniest things in the whole thing. Yeah. But you said something about, like, I would think that it's still, like, going on. Or that I'm being. Yeah, like, what if at the very end, episode eight airs. And then it's like, actually, we hired him first.

And we lied to you guys. One of the first things out of my mouth. Really? I started. I was like, you better not be fucking with me. And I called Ben Schwartz, who's the voice of Sonic, a good friend of mine. I was like, I'm getting ready to do this thing that's so improv-based.

And this is all Ben does. He does these shows where he just talks to the audience and does a whole show based on improv. I said, give me some tips. What if this and that and like what do you think about this and he goes

make sure it's not make sure you're not the one being punked yeah yeah yeah like how right how could you do that how because they're just

so good at lying no because I'm like I saw the control room and the ear pieces and the whole thing and we had the rehearsals wouldn't that be

unbelievable oh even more. Of course, but I was like, no way. No way. Couldn't be.

Couldn't be. No way. That is, you know, because it started out on, you know, pranks on the internet and then Asher Baron Cohen

does his thing and then Eric Andre and Tim Robbins, like, it's been done so much that it's like, we got to keep one-upping it so what,

you know, the one way to do it would be to like, you know, prank the prankers or whatever you want to call it. That was the first thing out of Ben's mouth. It's like, so much that it's like we've got to keep one-upping it. So the one way to do it would be to like prank the prankers or whatever you want to call it. That was the first thing out of Ben's mouth. It's like, you better make sure it's not about you. It's like in Rounders, you know how to spot the sucker.

If you can't spot the sucker in 30 minutes, you are the sucker. It's like if it's a little too good to be true. Believe me, there were two days before I had several thoughts. One was, can I even do this? Am I going to be good enough in that like flying without a net? Because I'd never really done improv before, I had several thoughts. One was, can I even do this? Am I going to be good enough in that, like, flying without a net? Because I'd never really done improv before, but I love the idea of, like, sending up the kind of entitled Hollywood celebrity and playing that version of myself.

Bro, when you're just grabbing things at the factory, just pulling on things. See, we moved the shoulder. What was it? We're going to go to, like, Margaritaville afterwards? just pulling on things. Silly Moody sold it. He's a good man. So much stuff. What was it? We're going to go to Margaritaville afterwards? A little too rich for my blood.

I'm playing Caleb now. I look like I got that kind of money. When you were in the forklifts or whatever it was, because I don't know these things either, when I was like,

and you were like, I was like, is he about to drop that thing? And then they cut to them like, he's not even licensed to do this so much stuff i mean like i right i actually think i started it up at one point like you know the producers like but i was thinking am i gonna be able to do this i don't want to screw it up and also like is this you know do i feel okay with messing with this guy? And then I was also thinking, what if this whole thing is punking me?

There were so many thoughts going into it. Like, Jesus, this is scary. Because it's like live theater. It's got to be cool. I mean, it's different. At the very least, it's just different than anything else you're doing. Even if you're worried about it, it at least gives you a little switch up from the regular roles and the regular process. The reason why,

I mean, I don't know why it's blowing up on TikTok over the weekend, but my feeling is that there's really an appetite now for something that's just not been done. It's different. There's been versions. Like they did the Joe Schmo show back in the day. It was like 15 years ago.

But even that sort of skewed a little cruel and, and we were really careful this time to have it be fun and funny but we're really celebrating this guy by the end of it. It is interesting how fast, because you mentioned to me first. It's funny how these things go whether it's a show or a movie or a song or

whatever you're talking about, whatever piece of media like, you know, one person in real life mentions it to me and then that next second i open up my twitter and i see a tweet about it and then i hear about it and it just it always is that way where you go wait a minute if three or four people from different walks of life brought it up to me in the same day yeah that probably means it's going everywhere that's and then you know like that's what we you know we try to find those things here and what we do. So my antenna kind of goes upwards like this is something.

Last night, you mentioned to me on Monday, and I went home yesterday, and I was at dinner with most of my family. And I was talking to my aunt who's like – she's a huge consumer of television and things like that, but she's also like 65, 70, whatever she is. Every different walk of life. And she's like, have you seen Jerry Doody yet? And I was like, actually, no, but I'm interviewing James Marsden tomorrow. And then my sister,

my younger sister, who's like 25 piped up from down the table. She's like, wait, you guys talk about jury duty down there. And I was like, Oh shit. Like I,

cause you know what it is. It's, it's like, if you watch a show, you can discuss the characters and the plot and all that. But it's just like, yeah. What do you think of the plot?

This is like, you can discuss every, what we just did. Are they in on it? Is he in on it? Is this a prank? Is that a prank? What was real? What wasn't?

Do you think – it's like there's a million ways to talk about this. I've never had – I've never been a part of a project before, and I've been doing this for 30 years where I have more to talk about. Yeah. Because it was as much of an adventure for me as it was for him. Right. Like, we all were going through this, like, uncharted territory of, like, how to, and pins and needles, like, at the beginning, like, no one wanted to screw it up.

Yeah. Right? Is this going to work? Am I going to sit in the right spot? What's he going to do? Is he going to get up and leave? You know? And so you just have to kind of, there's a, it's a pressure cooker.

You're in there going, I don't know what this, you know, and at the end of it, when the reveal happens, I won't spoil it, but I mean, everyone's buttholes were clenched. Is this guy going to freak out? Is he going to throw chairs at us? Is he going to cry? Is he going to feel embarrassed? I don't know. Is he going to laugh?

What would you do? How do you think you'd react? I think in the moment I would like I wouldn't a man's sense of relief well I'm sure by the time we see episode 8 he's probably like doing the craziest shit I'm sure right I'm sure he'd be relieved that it's over

but I feel like maybe like a day or two later I'd be like these motherfuckers you know like almost a sense it's like the 12 stages of grieving almost right you know. Right, yeah. He said in interviews, he was like,

when it happened, again, I don't want to spoil it, but he was like, I just kind of had to, it was such an overwhelming feeling. I mean,

because that's a long time to get played in the dark. To be doing something, to be bamboozled, even though he wasn't the butt of the joke, but I would be thinking, what the fuck did I say?

Right. What did I do? Yeah, oh yeah. And then also not knowing, not knowing that it, you know, Even though he wasn't the butt of the joke, but I would be thinking, what the fuck did I say? What did I do? Yeah. Oh, yeah. And then also not knowing. Where were the cameras? I didn't know there were. Not knowing that it, you know, now he's probably like, this is awesome.

Yeah. So it's blowing up. But in the moment, you're probably like, well, wait a minute, you know? And the other thing that was important to me was that he's forged real friendships and relationships. You guys all keep in touch? And he's like not going, yeah. And then he's not going, well. Oh, right, right.

Is that all fake? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so the first words out of our mouth were like, listen, yes, this was all scripted stuff and whatever. But it was we're here to hoist you on our shoulders and celebrate who you are and that you've united us. Dude, that guy. I sent a message to him. I want to get him on the show too because he has a singular experience that maybe like literally no one else on the planet Earth could ever – It's the Truman Show for real

yeah because even when Sasha does his stuff it's you know it's somebody that sort of deserves to be lampooned yeah

and this guy didn't really ask for that no but it's also just for a few minutes was that it's just when Sasha does it

it's one and a half a day it's three weeks of this guy's life right and the first thing out of our mouth I told the producers I'm not going hey that was fun see ya we went for a beer last week we hang out

he hangs out with the cast still that was important to me it is truly a feel good it makes me smile it's got that good balance sometimes it's like a zero something like an either or like we either

like the audience is either howling at making fun of this guy or it's like too the balance that was tricky to strike

was like this has to be something where we're actually celebrating this guy's spirit and his and who he is as a person that he became this leader

but it also we don't want it to be too earnest and just like so't want it to be too earnest and just like a feel, you know, so it's gotta be a fun ride. What if, could you imagine if he was like, if he went crazy? If he was like, you, fuck.

I thought of all of it. Like, again, like it's so, I can't, I don't know his history. I don't know what sets him off. James Marsden gets punched in the face on the set of his new show because a prank went wrong. I wish we were talking about this after this weekend because there's a scene in one of the episodes this weekend where I do something kind of really shitty. Yeah.

And that was the scene I was most worried about because I was like, this guy might came in. I mean, he's 6'6", this guy. Whoa, I don't think I realized that. That's crazy in and of itself. No, I look like a shrimp next to him. I'm like, 5'10". He's mean, he's 6'6", this guy. Whoa, I don't think I realized that. That's crazy in and of itself. No, I look like a shrimp next to him. I'm like, 5'10". He's like, he's 6'6". Jesus.

And I thought, boy, if I do this and really go for it, he might just slug me. Yeah. You know, because Sasha gets that, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's tackled and hit by people. Because it's a moment where I'm doing something really just egocentric,

prick kind of thing. Well, if the first four episodes are any indication. Yeah, I can understand that. And, of course, if you know the scripted situation, it's hilarious. When you pop up. Oh, it's just a jump scare. Jump scare in a script. What?

This is airing Tuesday. This is airing Tuesday. Oh, it is. Okay, so... It is airing Tuesday. I'll double check if we need to pull it. Yeah, we won't. I'm auditioning for this movie. I make sure he knows that I don't normally audition.

This guy's a big auteur. I'm so cocky. He helps me with the audition. I go to his hotel, and he helps me. And so we're auditioning, and I'm being kind of stupid and crazy. And the next day, back in our group interview, the bailiff comes in with a phone. And I'm like, oh, it's my agent.

And I'm like, here. I'm putting it on speakerphone, because I think it's the call that you got the job. And it turns out I didn't get the job. And I'm like, here. I'm putting you on speakerphone because I think it's the call that you got the job. Yeah. And it turns out I didn't get the job. And I'm like, wait, you're on speakerphone. And I'm like, I can't get it. I'm going to walk out.

And then I'm, of course, in a foul mood. And one of the jurors, it's his birthday. And so the rest of the jurors are celebrating a birthday party in the park to celebrate his birthday. I hear word of a party going on in the park, and I think it's a pity party for me. It makes me feel better. I mean, literally, my baby pulls up, and he goes, I was like, this will be quick.

And it's scripted that I come over, like, wow, this is really sweet. This is going to make someone feel really happy. But I don't want it! And it's scripted that I destroy the entire party. And they're like, what the fuck are you doing? I'm like, oh, let's feel sorry for the guy from the notebook. It's all sure. This isn't going to make me feel good.

That's so crazy. I've dealt with rejection my whole career let me do it on my own terms and they're like this is Ross' birthday party you dipshit and I'm like who's Ross who's Ross you've been in a room with him for three weeks I'm like you thought it was for you

and I was like yeah who would it be for anyway so I thought I was going to? And I was like, yeah, who would it be for? Anyway, so I thought I was going to do this and destroy this party, and this guy's going to come over and tackle me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I didn't know how he was going to respond. And so I saw out of the corner of my eye, he kind of hung his head. And I could tell he was like, he felt bad for me.

Yeah. And I was like, shit, I can't do all of this so I flipped the cake and then I saw him do that and kind of get deflated and I had to pull it back that's cool though I'm not gonna he's such an empath and he cared so much about anybody who was feeling uncomfortable

or upset that you know it affected him and I was like sorry guys when afterwards I was like feeling uncomfortable or upset that, you know, that affected him. Yeah. And I was like, sorry, guys. Afterwards, I was like, I know I was supposed to rip down the streamers and pop every balloon and throw a cake. I'm sure that was the right call, though, like in the moment. It was enough.

It was enough. And then I was like, okay, well, I know this is cheating, but can we go back after the reveal and shoot me just losing my shit? But we're like, no, can't do that. No, keep it real. Yeah, no, can't do that. Nah, keep it real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's as much an experiment for them probably as it is for the viewer

and everything else. So it was enough. And then it was like because he hung his head, I wasn't scripted to come back. But I come back with a cake, like a congrats, it's a girl cake. Ross is so good. Sorry, there you go. I'm sorry if I'm rude.

I mean, I know this is airing Tuesday, but you guys haven't seen it yet. Yeah, no, no, no. That's great. But anyway, the point is that there were parts where it was like, you just don't know what's going to set him off or how he's going to react. Yeah. He could have beat the shit out of me. That's so cool.

And instead, he felt sad for me. And I was like, oh, that doesn't feel good. I wonder what the fuck. I want him to out of me. That's so cool. And instead, he felt sad for me. Yeah. And I was like, oh, that doesn't feel good. I wonder what the fuck. I want him to laugh at me. Yeah, what does it take for Ronald, this guy, that's the next show. How can we get Ronald to get mad? Or to, you know, I mean, he seems like the nicest dude ever. He really is.

And how lucky do you get as producers to find that? To know that that's going to, yeah, because you, you can, you can do, I mean, I know, I know the producers interviewed him quite a bit before we started. I'm sure there were other candidates, right? Yeah, sure. I think they were meeting with a lot of people and they didn't tell him that or whatever, but yeah. Oh, I think they told him that some of the other actors were also interviewed

to come do this, but he didn't know they were actors. Right, right. some of the other actors were also interviewed to come do this, but he didn't know they were actors. Right. Right. Um, you can tell how, how like he's not like someone who, who wants to be the foreman, you feel like it's probably going to be kind of an ass.

Yeah. And you can tell how he like kind of got bullied into that. And then how you like, he's like, he's like, I'm a good guy and people need me. So I'll just figure it out. And I thought that was the clearest at Margaritaville,

where everyone's like, you ask James, ask James. And he puts his head in his hand, and he's like, all right. And you can see him working up the courage. Those are two moments specifically that I struggled with, we struggled with, because we never wanted to make him feel like he had to do something he didn't want to do. And that was it. One was ask James to pick up the bill or arm wrestle him he really did not want to arm wrestle did he because did he really beat you

getting a 510 i was like you'll arm wrestle me and then uh the other one was he didn't want to be the foreman yeah and he's like somehow in my life that was what jumped out at me because i've certainly had moments in my life in a different way where I'm like, these sort of things, different things, just like kind of always happen. And like enough times, like 10 times in the last couple of years where it's like it really feels like there's something going on in the universe. And you could feel him be like, he probably told his friends like, I'm going to end up being the four person it's just the foreman it'll it'll be me and like you could hear it in his voice like yeah the way that when the when the when the the judge is like one of you really stuck out with hutzpah and he's like i ordered lunch how is that me being a leader yeah he's like i didn't even do that all of the lunch control of the lunch order. Was that line improv?

And I'm sure it was. Or was that one scripted, the guy who falls off the filing cabinet, falls with the filing cabinet? That was scripted. When he's like, I'm just going to go pound off or whatever he says. I'm going to go rub one out. Yeah, rub one out. Yeah, yeah. Which is, by the way, the only thing he says in the whole show.

Yeah, yeah. By design. Right? It's the only thing he says. Tim, his name's is tim says one line so we wanted the writers were like we wanted ronald's experience with tim to be his only exchange was i'm gonna go rub one out and so that when we're when he gets hurt and we're all talking about all these cranes you know the origami cranes that he made it's all like i painted

mine they don't show this in the show but i colored mine cranes that he made. So I was like, I painted mine. They don't show this in the show, but I colored mine like Cyclops. He even made mine look like Cyclops. You don't really see it in the show. I was like, that'd be funny. And Ron was like, I guess I didn't really get to know the guy. So that was, yes, that was by design. But it's just like the moments where you start to feel bad.

Like he's like, oh, that's incredible. Have you ever actually served on a jury? I have. You have? I have. Is it comparable to the experience? Like obviously not the experience as a whole. I was selected.

But I was, I forget what the case was. I'd imagine it's a most public figure. Everyone going in is scared that they're going to be on some four-month-long murder case. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, our friend Jackie here has an opinion that this is propaganda because she looks so fun that it's pro-juror. She wants to be on jury now. Our show is propaganda? Yeah.

People serve? Yeah, this is all about the coming of justice. I want to be on jury duty now. It looks so fun. It looks so fun. Yeah, the government is behind this. We're all getting minimum wage government. Big trials behind it.

My mom actually tried to get on one once. And my uncle was a lawyer or whatever. I don't know, someone. She was trying to pull strings. She's like, you got to get me on it. She's like, you got to get me on the jury. She wanted to be on the Aaron Hernandez jury. Good for her.

New England woman, you know. He's like, what are you talking about? I can't get you on the jury. She's like, get me on the jury. I want to be on the jury. I got picked. I showed up. And voir dire is where you get asked questions of,

are you biased or can you, any reason you can't serve? I remember being, when I walked in the courtroom, this is my real jury duty experience, there was a, so Hollywood, there was a wall of signed 8x10 headshots of people who had served jury duty. Oh my shit, I'm serving. You'd be like, we got another photo for the wall.

And I'm thinking, God, this is, like in a government building, they have headshots. That's crazy. You would think that would be like way against the rules. Right, right. So I came in and they started asking. I tried to do the right thing. I wanted to be the James Marsden from the show

and go, a couple of people have asked me for selfies. I'm going to be an distraction. Maybe you should let me go. I'm going to get my coffee and go for a walk on the beach. And I said, no, I don't have any bias, whatever, whatever, whatever. Got selected. I'm like, of course.

And then on the opening arguments, one of the attorneys in the middle of his opening argument turned to me in my jury seat and goes, and by the way, I love everything you've done. I literally went to the judge like, Adios.

And he just had this smile on his face like, this is cool. I am Cyclops. Big 27 dresses guy. Yeah, yeah. What do you know, judge? That's the other thing about this show. There is so much that did not make the cut of the show. I feel like they could do a whole season showing all the other bits.

With how popular it is, I would hope they go back and do From the Cutting Room Floor or something. There was a full-on back and forth I had with the judge about getting out. When I say I went to – have you served on a jury before? And I say in Cannes. Yeah. In France. That's so good. Yeah, the film festival. No, no, no. It was like a civil jury. before when I say in Cannes. Yeah. In France. That's so good. Yeah, the film festival.

No, no, no. That's like a civil jury. Civil case. Oh, no, no. Sure, sure. And then the judge is like, I don't recognize you. I'm sorry. Why do you know this gentleman? And we have a whole back and forth about like, well.

And he goes, sir, do you know who John Ratzenberger is? I was like, I think, wasn't he a voice from the Pixar? He was, what's his name, from Cheers. And I had a thing, and if John Ratzenberger sat on my jury, then you can too. And we had a whole back and forth, and I started getting chippy with him. He's like, sir, watch your tone. He's fantastic, the judge.

So good. It's Ike Barinholtz's father. No way, really? Yeah. Ike Barinholtz, the actor, his father was a prosecutor his whole life, who then just got into acting later in life and was brilliant.

No shit. And has now moved to LA to pursue acting. Fully. It's incredible. And he anchors the whole thing, really. I mean, it was amazing that we found almost everybody, the whole thing, really. It was amazing that we found almost everybody the roles that they did.

They found attorneys who are real practicing attorneys who also act on the side. And the case itself is so ridiculous. Everything seems to just hit. But there were moments, too. There were a few moments where Ronald started to catch on. He was like, this is a reality show. I feel like I'm going to...

And so then Jake Szymanski, the director, when he got a chance to talk to us all, he's like, pull it back. So then you'd have a normal day? Well, normal. Painfully boring day. Oh, yeah. Where you're there for four hours.

Shit, so you're just doing real dirty. Camera's rolling. Amazon's going, well, this is a waste of money. Yeah. Because we're not going to use any of this in the show. But the lawyers did the lawyer speak. Wow. And then for four hours

and they're genuinely sleeping and they're just like we got to fill what do we call it the reality bank or the trust bank so anytime he started to catch on we would just make it on and on and on

boring shit and then he was just like we'll cut that out later so the point would be that he would go this can't be a show on and court boring shit very cool and then he was just like we'll cut that out later so that the point would be that he would go well this can't be a show because this is who this would be a complete waste of time and money right shout out to jeff bezos but that's the other thing too if two and a half weeks in he went like you all are actors they that's footage that would have been down the drain and all of these things were so carefully crafted. And the, like, the blinds, blinds are like hidden cameras behind doors and windows that are one-sided that look like mirrors, but they're not, you know, like all of this was

really, really carefully planned out. Very cool. And so that arm wrestling, when you're about to go into that, you're thinking, all right, he's 6'6", he's a big dude, he's going to be able to arm wrestle. My worry was that he would somehow not be strong at all. Right. And then it would just look ridiculous. Because I know I have to throw it.

Yeah. And he would be like, I just beat James Marsden too easy. I told the previous person I was chatting with about the show. So the day before we shot that, it was scripted to be a complete other thing. And we were like, there's no way. This guy's not going to buy it. The bill was $1,500.

And the waitress says, but we have this hot wing challenge that are our sanely scorching hottest in the world, ghost pepper, whatever hot wings. And if you eat 24 of them or whatever, then we'll pick up the bill. And what we were going to do is they were going to bring out the actual super, super hot wings and a couple of cast members would take it. Like, I can't even, my eyes are burning. I can't even eat one of these or even half of it.

And then we'd give Ronald a tray of some that are kind of hot. Yeah. And they were like, that's too thin. Yeah. It's not going to work. Right. And so we were literally the night before going, shit, we're already in this two weeks in. Or whatever, a week and a half.

What do we do? And I said, what if we create something where it's a competition that someone can throw? Like arm wrestling or whatever. And they're like, that's actually good work. The tricky part is what if he doesn't want to arm wrestle? What if he doesn't want to do it? And that's the hard thing is like those moments where he didn't want to do something, that hurt.

It's like, I don't want to force someone to do something in this world. But it's also harmless enough that it's like, you know. Sure, sure. But like, it's still like, eh. So it was like, well, let's see. And he didn't want to do it. He was like, you know. Sure, sure. But it's still like, yeah. So it was like, well, let's see. And he didn't want to do it. He was like, you get him to do it.

Lonnie, you do it. You do it. Whatever. And I was like, whatever. And I finally had to say, you don't have to. Because I was saying it like I'm an arm wrestler in this movie I'm auditioning for that I'm staying in character for. And then I finally had to say, you don't even have to beat me i just want to arm wrestle someone and i'll pick up the bill there you go there you go so that

takes the onus off you know right came over and then to this day still ronald's like because he's a pal of mine now he's like did you throw it throw it i really beat you you'll never know you'll never know and we're never doing it again. That is funny that you guys are friends now to have to have the conversation where like I think about it like in any spy movie or something like that. Or even in anything like where it's like everything was a lie. It's like, no, that was – the lie was our introduction. The rest of it is all real. It all happens for real. The emotion we have is all real.

This guy is like emotionally invested in these friendships. And when we were two, obviously we had our narratives to push for the comedy bits. But we all fell in love with the guy. Fell in love with him. It is crazy. It is rare that the reality show, and I don't consume a ton of reality shows. And I don't consider this a reality show. I don't know if you do.

I don't know what it is. It's its own thing. It's its own genre. It's an experiment. But from the outside looking in at most reality shows, it's very rare that someone comes out. People can come out more famous, but it's rare that the comment is like, that's just a good dude. So rare.

Most times it's the opposite. It's like, he's famous, but that guy or girl's an asshole. This guy. I think Ronald's about to become like a ladies' man, a fan favorite, but that guy or girl's an asshole. Right. This guy. I think Ronald's about to become like a, you know, a ladies' man, a fan favorite. People are like, he's the next Bachelor. Yeah, yeah.

It's like, dude, you telling me? I mean, he's going to be a phenomenon. Which needed to be the case because if we were really doing the show that I agreed to or that I thought we were doing, it needed to be, not, it needed to be overly heavy handed, sappy at the end,

but it did, there needed to be a heart to the whole thing, that we were celebrating this guy, that we weren't just, because I wasn't interested in doing just a one dimensional prank show, because it's too easy. Right? You know,

and even if someone's a prick, and you want to like, Laugh at them. Laugh at them, or make them feel like idiots, I still don't think it's a nice thing to do. Some of these shows... I mean, you guys nailed it in that regard. Because even just thinking about this interview, we could have talked about X-Men.

We could talk about Notebook. I mean, major movies. Yeah, yeah. And we are, right? Yeah, yeah. That was just the beginning. That was just the beginning. We've got another two hours to go.

But usually sometimes in these interviews, it's like, all right, let's talk about the project. You've got to promote. And we'll get to the stuff, everybody. But I'm like, give me more, give me more. It's so much fun to talk about. Because again, I've never done anything like it. I wonder, did you know any of the other people who auditioned for that? Was there anybody else?

No. I mean, I'm sure that they were very, they weren't secretive about the process of selecting him. No, no, no. I mean for you. Oh, for me. Like, did they have other major actors that were... I had that question. Because I got... I kind of

had a... What should I say? I responded really quickly and maybe too quickly to like, this is exciting. Yeah. It's Lee and Gene.

It's Todd Schulman. Like, the scripts were hilarious. The idea of getting in a room full of like Groundlings, Upright Citizens Brigade, you know,

doing improv and like me getting to finally fulfill this sort of Yeah, scratch that itch. Yeah, Christopher Guest kind of like unscripted but sort of outlined comedy. It was really exciting to me. And then I got in there and I was...

And I started thinking like, oh, right, but there's this other guy that we're fooling the whole time. Am I even going to be able to do this? And I thought... I went to David Bernard, the producer, and he's an old friend of mine I said who were you because I stepped in a week before we started shooting oh really they rehearsed all the other cast for another week before that so I only had like three or four days of rehearsal of like you need to sit here you need to sit here and this and Ronald needs you need to somehow get next to him in the courtroom uh and I started thinking, if I wasn't available,

because I was doing Party Down right up until that day, and I said, if you didn't get me, who was going to be the? And he was like, I don't know. Wow. Really? I don't know. Because it couldn't be somebody like Nick Kroll or Eric Andre or somebody. Oh, yeah.

I definitely couldn't do that. Where it's like, you're a comedian. Right. You kind of are like a good in between. You don't want someone like too big of a celebrity or too, you know, it was like because in the jokes about him, you know, trying to be more of a celebrity than he is. I don't know.

And he was like, you were just, it was perfect. It's like why we came to you. That's crazy. Because I knew that you could do the comedy. And I just don't think you've ever done it before. And he knew how excited I was to get in there. And there's so many bits that aren't even in the scripts. Like there's a moment when Noah is upset about his girlfriend and the boner guy or whatever.

And we're just sitting there. And I'm, again, literally taking a nap. And he sits next to me, and I feel Mecky sit next to me, and then I kind of look over this eye. I see that there's a camera on us, and I was like, it's all right, buddy. Don't worry about it. He's like, thanks, man.

Look, everyone goes to Mexico to fuck. That's one of my favorite lines. How do I get this guy to talk but also make him feel worse about the whole thing? You just get it out of your system. Oh, it was so good and that was just kind of on the fly

what the fuck what that's why they don't have coverage of me because it was like on Mechie and the other cameras were back there

on Ronald and I was hoping that they were catching it all but it was just kind of on the fly but I forgot why I brought that up

but it was just I was so excited to get in and do all of that stuff. And David was like, I know you can, you'll get in that room and you'll be, if you play that,

if you were able to like lampoon being the entitled Hollywood jackass. Yeah. Like. Nailed it. Let me, let me go. Rich with background. I was going to say.

So. I felt like you were getting something off your chest. Yeah. But I didn't know, I mean, I couldn't have been a comedian. I couldn't have been

an obvious person. It had to be someone who could actually do the comedy but also maybe be recognizable or have the power to have some sort

of celebrity juju over him. Not over him in an arrogant way but hopefully this guy starts to recognize that he's a celebrity and starts to think he's friends with him.

Yeah. We're not real friends. No, no. We are. We are very close. Very close. But I just am like, who would have done this? And he's like, I think he brought up some other person's name.

I'll think about it. It was someone else. DiCaprio. Yeah. I don't know. He wishes. No. Is there other,

because you said like you'd never really done the comedy, but I guess because I was a 30 Rock fan, I think of you almost part as comedy. Have you not done much other than that? No, I mean, I've done a lot of scripted comedy. Yeah.

Oh, okay. I see what you're saying. In fact, yeah, yeah. But this sort of like outline, you get in the room and no holds barred just whatever comes out of your mouth yeah

like the yes and yeah yeah improv rules and I don't know those rules right I'm just going in going I get to be this douche bag

and you react you're a little too good at it you're a little too good you're trying to get everyone to react to you buying lunch it was so fucking funny I mean

and that was the very first day yeah he's trying his best and I'm left with the bill the whole thing I don't know if it's in the show but it was scripted that Marsden after that then turns to Ronald to see if he wants to go split seas with him I love it I think it is Barbara

because it was the other older woman we mentioned earlier. And she's like, I already bought mine. Can I do overseas? Oh, Barbara. By the way, again, so many of these

amazing players coming in here with so many other bits that just didn't make the show because it's 24 minutes an episode. You can do seven episodes. And the eighth episode is,

well, it's like, you would imagine, like the reveal and how we did it and whatever. But Barbara had a whole storyline where she kept talking. She could not stop talking about all the old superstar musicians that she followed. I remember Jimi Hendrix. I sat on his lap.

And he was like, Jimi Buffett called me up to his condo. There's so much stuff. These fucking long bus rides. We're all doing little bits. It was so much. I'm awake. It is unbelievable. They're telling us we have to wrap up,

so we'll have to talk about all the other... I know, I know. We blew our load talking too much about jury duty. You'll have to come back. We'll talk about everything else you've done, because Lord knows... Now I'm becoming this guy. It feels too fun. I mean, listen, you call the shots.

You can tell them. You want to say. Eocentric maniac. Marsden. So, jury duty, it's on freebie, but if you have Amazon, you can just watch it. tell them you want to say egocentric mania Marsden so Jury Duty it's on freebie but if you have

Amazon you can just watch it if you have Amazon Prime and any of those things and you have to have to go watch it so the way we structured it

it was the first this last weekend it was four episodes and then I think two and two oh okay I thought that was good it'll get a couple weeks

to talk too because I think that's the way to do it also so everybody go watch it. You are the man. Thank you so much, bro. Thank you so much. Thank you, guys. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye. you you GameTime is the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports.

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