KFC Radio - Jason Clarke Interview | Shane Gillis Tosses Em Back

Episode Date: March 3, 2022

Subscribe, rate, leave a review, and support our sponsors. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Allbirds This winter, keep your feet cozy and dry with the Allbirds Wool Dasher Mizzles. Discover your perfect pair at https://barstool.link/AllbirdsBSS Revitalyte Pick up your Revitalyte Black Label today in-store or at https://barstool.link/RevitalyteBlackLabelBSS Would Shop Would at https://barstool.link/wouldBSS or at your local CVS. WhistlePig Whiskey Visit https://barstool.link/Piggybackcraftcocktail for more info and make sure you grab a box in select stores! ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 0:00 - Shane Gillis Joins the Show 1:37:23 - Jason Clarke InterviewYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Oh, man, this is a mistake. This is a mistake. you know me i'm the sneaker guy uh but i'll be honest i've fallen off on getting like ridiculous uh high tops and classic shoes from, you know, 35 years ago. And I'm now looking towards the future. I got myself a pair of Allbirds Tree Dasher 2s coming on the way. Tree Dasher 2s are like a casual running sneaker.

You can wear them out. You can exercise in them. They're made out of that like top, like knit material. So it's comfy. They're lightweight. They perform well. And that's what you need. so it's comfy they're lightweight they perform well and that's what you need and that's what all birds does you don't you know when you want to go out for a run especially in new york city everything's sloppy and slushy and snowy and muddy and you don't

have the right shoes for it you're not you're not going to go on a run and you don't want to be the guy who's putting off all his goals and not exercising not going out because you got the wrong shoes all birds is here to make sure that you accomplish whatever you need to set out to do. You can get the tree dasher twos like I'm doing. They also have the wool dasher mizzles, which is like a heavy duty wool pair that keeps your feet extra warm. So no matter what you need on your feet and no matter what you're doing out there, Allbirds is the company for you. So right now go to Allbirds.com. That's A-L-L-B-I-R-D-S to get whatever pair suits you best

sent to your house today. It's March which means you have St. Patrick's Day celebrations all month long. You gotta go to different parades and parties and bars and whatever. That means you're gonna be drinking all month. That means you're gonna be getting hungover all month. That means you need to be drinking Revitalite all month. After you do, you be drinking all month. That means you're going to be getting hung over all month. That means you need to be drinking Revitalite all month.

After you do, you're drinking all month to fight the hangovers that you have all month. You feel me? Keep up. So Revitalite, you drink it before you start drinking. Keep that hydration going. You drink it during. You can use it as a mixer. Drink half before you go to bed, the other half of the bottle in the morning, and it's

the best way to combat a hangover. All these other ideas and wives tales none of that works what works is electrolytes and hydration and that's what uh revitalize provides when you're trying to battle through your hangover you can get them in stores right now at liquor stores and wherever they sell drinks uh check it out and if you if you can't get them there you can get them in the barstool sports store so head on over there and when you're buying all your merch you can also swipe a few bottles of the barstool black label which is the berry frost so get the blue revitalite it's the barstool brand and you can get that in the barstool store what you are about to listen to or watch go to

youtube and subscribe on kc radio is shane gillis putting on a masterclass on how to get straight up shit faced and still perform on a podcast. One of the biggest misconceptions is that drunk podcasts are funny. Usually just ends up being lame and stupid. A bunch of people slurring their words. Shane Gillis throws back like 15 drinks, whistle pigs, all episode long. And it's one of the funniest episodes we've ever done. Before we get into that, just want to let the people know, St. Patrick's Day show for KFC Radio Live is approaching. We sold out our first show at the Wilbur. Our second show is probably like 600 or 700 tickets deep, so we've probably got about

like 200, 300 more before we sell out. So come join us. We'll have Whistlepig to the fucking ceiling. We're going to be drinking, partying, hanging out, taking pictures, doing our show live in Boston on St. Patrick's Day weekend. It doesn't get any better than that. So if you want to kick off the weekend right, come through Friday night at the Wilbur.

Tickets are available right now. Go to our social media. You can click the link and buy tickets. Make it a whole event. Bring your friends. Come hang out with us. We'll after party afterwards and start off the St. Patrick's Day weekend right so get your tickets to KFC Radio live now also if you're not in Boston but you're looking to see KFC Radio live we're putting together multiple stops next up on May 19th is going to be Philly we're coming to the Fillmore big theater thousand of you we're looking to sell

it out as fast as we can. The presale starts today. If you're listening on drop day, the code to unlock presale is KFC. So get your tickets. Come on out by then. It'll be nice and warm. We'll have Memorial day the next weekend.

So we're basically kicking off summer. So we're coming Philly. Get your dirt balls together. Come on and hang out with us. May 19th. Now, Shane Gillis on KFC Radio, third chair, third host, the dog. Shane Gillis, let's do it.

Gillis is here. We just finished up pints, so Gillis is several in. We've had a few cocktails. I'm riding with it. I don't drink during the day anymore. And guess who's back and drinking during the day?

It's the 8%ers, man. It's the piggybacks. They creep up on you. I'll take one over here. Because these are warm, by the way. That's okay. Oh, I don't give a shit. I just like them cold for a guess.

I'm fucking drinking anything. Yeah, we're dirt balls. They're tasty, and they get that 8%. So cheers, man. I appreciate you riding this podcast as well. Thank you, baby. I just wanted to keep drinking. It has nothing to do with us.

I don't give a fuck about this show at all. I was like, I don't feel like Uber and back to Queens. I'm going to keep drinking. It was the easiest, like, hey, can you do the podcast? And you were like, yep. While also simultaneously me knowing you don't really want to do a podcast. No, I don't give a fuck about it. These are the best podcasts.

I was going to say, this is just talking. They're want to do a podcast. No, I don't give a fuck about it. These are the best podcasts. This is just talking. They're happening to me microphone time. If this was every day, I mean, not like I have a problem doing it with you, but these are the fun ones. To prove that we've been drinking a bit, I'm just realizing now that on Friday Night Plants, I didn't finish my story about Christy Mack and the fact that I

built her the Legos. I was scared. I wish Chris was here for this because I wanted to be like, if she was so bad at getting blowjobs, why was I so scared that she was actually going to do it? Like, would you be nervous going in? Yeah. Hell yeah.

Dude, I was. To walk up to a bar, you were like 24. I was terrified that she was going to suck my dick. Like, I was so scared that this was a walk up to our you were like 24 I was you were young horrified that she was gonna suck my dick Like I was so scared that this porn stars you like all right fine He also probably was cameras on him and like she not that that would have she ended up hit me with the she kind of Like she gave me a hug and she was like I gotta talk to my lawyers first Any about five or six Jews involved. Before I give you a head.

Why don't you leave the Jews out of this one? Are they going to take 10% of my head? Imagine that, being those lawyers. So what kind of law do you practice? Well, I sign off on a Chrissy Mac and suck dick or not. Yeah, being those lawyers. Like, so what kind of law do you practice? Well, I sign off on a Chrissy Mac and suck dick or not. Yeah, I like Chrissy Mac. Yeah, I hear you, though, because they have moves that are like... But with me, it'd have to be like...

Yeah, she can't do it. I'll tell you what, I'm being 100% honest. I don't even think I'm getting hard for that. I'd be selling my own head. I think she would, and she would try. And maybe she's so good. She would succeed. You think?

Yeah. Yeah. I think she's running through a flaccid penis once or twice. I know the solution here. Yeah. You ever fuck like a geezer? A geezer will get you like an older lady. No, I mean,

we're like, I'm drunk. I'm not going to get hard. And they're like, I will find you. Press your taint. And you're like, this is incredible.

Dude, wait, it's working.aint yeah it's working dude there was one time I was fucking an old lady in a hot tub believe this is working yo pop up inside that hot tub I'll suck that dick ears oh my god that's how she talked to you that Oh, bro. You let a woman disrespect you? That is not even close to the worst thing she said at that time. I can't tell you that much. And she, so I pop up on the side of the hot tub. It's like 4 o'clock in the morning. I'm shit-faced.

I'm not really getting there. She grabs a condom, right? I'm thinking like, well, I'm not even hard right now. How am I going to get hard with a condom on? She bites the bag off of the condom, spits it, takes the elastic and wraps it around my dick and balls. And I was just like a rock. Once you see it in action, because, you know,

we're used to hooking up with, like, women, not disgusting pieces of shit. When a real gross hog comes right at you, you're staring down the barrel of an old whore. It's so nice, dude. Because you don't have to worry. You're not performing for her. Exactly. And if you are, she's seen it all.

So even if your dick is soft, you're relaxed. She's going to get you there. Everyone, you know. When you're hooking up with like some fucking 23-year-old chick from New York, you're like, she's going to tweet about this. Yes. She's going to fucking be like, I hooked up with some fucking fat, disgusting, pink piece of shit.

Don't fucking tell anyone. Don't tell anyone. I couldn't get hard. But then we had just an old geezer coming in. What's the oldest you fucked?

I have no idea how old. But she wasn't like crazy. I don't think I fucked anybody. She wasn't crazy. She was probably like 50.

I was going to say both. I have two probably close to 50. I'm sad I haven't fucked like a late 40s. I want to have

my own story about this. Any geezers out there want to wrap a condom fucking a wax to condom fucking later I fucked her in the ass and she said don't let it fall out or I'll shit while all the while her husband was watching a jerking off what yeah it's John's most like infamous stories he told it like on episode like three of the podcast. Yeah, one time something crazy happened. He said recently, I remember, I think someone asked a question

like, out of all the things you've said on the podcast, you know, what's the worst? And John was like, he kind of like, it was like staring off. He's like, I wish I had that one back. Oh, you wanted to keep that to yourself? Not like keep it to myself, but it is like... But when some people are like, hey, you fucked that girl and she shit on your dick and-

You know, it's like, okay, yeah. Like one of my best friends is in New Orleans. I remember that. I know what that's like. I'm going to his wedding. You wish you had one back home. Yes. Yeah. Any time like New Orleans comes up, I just get flooded with tweets being like,

Boy, is there ever a time you fucked a woman and her husband watched? Like, ah, yeah. But my favorite part of that whole story is how you came out of the blackout Like in the middle of it right Imagine like your moment of clarity is like Bro my moment of clarity I've been doing it for the last hour My moment of clarity was walking to the apartment

And she had like it was like a fainting couch Like set up weirdly in the living room With like a fucking projection screen Or a huge screen TV Oh they were probably filming some porn No she was fucking double-holing herself. Oh, my God. Just on the couch by herself.

Do I know that part? Jesus Christ. Yeah, because then she fucking, yes, this is all in. Because then she grabbed me by the dick and walked me out to the back to the hot tub. Where her husband was in bed as we walked out. It was like a shotgun-style house. Whole thing's a fucking mess. The dog on a leash with the dick is so fucking funny.

That was fucking kind of good. Yeah. Yeah. You can walk me around the block. Yeah, I was like, yes, ma'am. Look, that's what they do. They know exactly what they're doing, man. You think you don't like it until it happens.

Yep. And then as soon as it happens, you're like, maybe I am a fucking, maybe I am gay. Maybe I do like getting dominated. Well, they say that. They say, you know, turns out I'm a. Maybe I do like getting dominated. Turns out I'm a fucking sub, baby. Bro. You want to do Amazon position? Let's go. I'm waiting for the day a lady licks my butt.

I'm going to be like, no, no, no, no. And then she's like, yes. And you're going to be like, okay. Damn it, I like it. I knew I'd it I knew we always tell the story man when we we were working with Asa Akira she came in early days we did like a test thing so we were still kind of getting to know each other and shit and we were talking about all sorts of weird fucking and she and this was early at Barstool old office so probably like 30 people in the room or whatever and she goes like I bet like 50% of the guys here No I think

I remember I think no it was less Less Okay So even more stupid Yeah she was like 10 of the guys in this room like butt stuff

and me and John were like no fucking way and then like 5 years later we were sitting at a bar together and out of nowhere John was just like hey

remember that conversation we had with Asa yeah we owe her an apology I texted her that I was like I owe you an apology none of us here are gay it turns out all of us are and she was just like yeah okay guys I'm a professional sex

haver I know what guys want and what they don't want you idiots yeah once that happens like oh okay okay we were talking about that want and what they don't want you idiots yeah once that happens like oh okay okay we were talking about that with with uh canon the other day when he was talking about the licking buttholes and he's saying he was he's in he's been googling rimming lately you say oh see i disagree my girls giving rim job yeah that my... I'll turn a porn off if that's... Really? Yeah. Pussy.

Rude. What are you, gay, dude? Do you like to see guys get their ass eaten? Sure. I'll fucking watch anything. Yeah, I will literally watch anything. No, I've said... It's not about the guy.

I've searched it before. I didn't know this podcast was lighting loafers like this. Little fruity shit, dude. I'm straight as fuck. Could you imagine... like this. A little fruity shit, dude. I'm straight as fuck. I'm so straight I'm homophobic. That's how straight I am. I don't even like thinking about... I hate the game.

I'm so straight I don't like even thinking about other stuff. I do think I can't even imagine like like I know that my dad has been listening to the podcast a lot recently so I know he's gonna be listening

to this and I'm like I can't even imagine I can't even imagine what he fucking thinks about like that generation thinking about like he's listening to this shit

it's like whoa truly though it is so sick to be like like so straight that you're like what the fuck are these guys doing like being mad that you're like what the fuck are these guys doing like being mad at like genuinely feeling like like i don't care i'm sure i'd like it i'm certain i'd like it i'm just a little

i got a gross butt i don't want to it'll make me feel bad see i'm on the opposite end where i'm like i'm so gay when it when gay when it comes up with two women. But it's like, you put in rimming, and it's like, here's two chicks eating each other's asses. I'm like, you know what I meant, porn. I want to see a dude get his ass. I'll give you that. I'll give you that. Well, lesbian porn is the most.

Remember being a young boy? That's when you watch it. Lesbian porn is for like 13-year-old boys, and that's it. I haven't watched lesbian. I haven't whacked off the lesbians. Lesbian porn is for 13-year-old boys, and that's it. I haven't watched lesbian. I haven't whacked off the lesbians. Because you need a cock in there. You need a big fucking dick. I need a lady being shamed.

I like the shame. I used to get it. To be clear, it's the shame that I enjoy. That's probably the best part of watching a lady eat ass. What a disgusting, shameful act. Against God's will. You know?

Oh, man, this is a mistake. This is a mistake. I used to get, like, like, it would... This is a mistake. Fuck. I just wanted to keep drinking I used to get I used to get turned off

When I was still watching Lesbian porn And she'd start like Sucking a dildo I'd be like This is Like logically See I don't have a problem

With that either You like it I would get internally mad You know that's doing Fucking nothing It's not doing anything For anyone There's a dual side And two girls humping That's cool I would get internally mad you know that's doing fucking nothing it's not doing anything for anyone there's a dual sided and two girls humping that's cool

when they suck it and meet in the middle though that's cool really little lady and the tramp exactly mixing a water gun you're good you can't. It's not like you fucking.

Yeah. You say all sorts of shit. I've fucked up before. We're good. Shake it. Oh, it's boo. You know what I hate? Yeah, right.

He's really on the podcast. We actually, we're doing something today. And I don't know if it's still in the cards, but the autism simulation. Oh, fire it up. Yeah, wait. What was that again? Can we get three pieces of paper?

Oh, yeah. This is tough. This is going to be great. This is going to be hard without fucking... It doesn't matter. I don't need to be... We just do the back to papers. Tell you what happened.

When you drink, you don't get more autistic. When you drink, you drink your way into Down syndrome. When you're just like, girls rule. I love wrestling. We got... All right, so here's the deal. Nick, you're going to have to... All right, so just so we're clear.

So this wasn't our idea. Let's's the deal. Nick, you're going to have to... Just so we're clear, this wasn't our idea. I saw a viral tweet that was like... I will read it to you exactly. I said it to myself. I was like, this would be funny to do on a podcast. Where is she here? You're going to have to man the lights. This is a multi-person operation.

I think it would be better for Knicks. So, it's a little challenge. I'm about to read it, yeah. We're going to need some music, some lights, and a timer. Well, we do the music. Music comes from us. Oh, okay. Oh, right, right, right. So, this is a viral tweet that says,

Who can relate? One time my school did a, quote, autism simulation. They had us write the lyrics to Mary Had a Little Lamb while singing the ABCs, and they flicked the lights the entire time. And then when we got done, they said, that's what it's like to be autistic. What? So we are going to. So you got to do the lights.

Turn those off and just do the blackout lights up and down? Can you do that? I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this. I'm drawing Notre Dame. That's the true autism test. He's like, anytime you get a piece of paper, do you draw a swastika? I drew the Notre Dame symbol and a swastika.

Not very well. I could tell it but what? that's not that good dude that's pretty good I mean looks like you added

like an I in there that's pretty good that's good you're crazy no that is good yeah he's been a tough critic alright so are we doing this separately?

you know what I do? that is the actual every time I'm in the shower on the road there's always it's always glass in hotels now

every time I'm in the shower I draw road, it's always glass in hotels now. Every time I'm in the shower, I draw the Notre Dame symbol on the steam. Really? Every time. And I can't stop doing it. Spread the gospel, bro. Spread the good word of the Irish. I can't stop doing it.

All right. We'll just do... No, sing at the same time. We have to sing... ABCs. ABCs. While writing... And we'll see who gets more letters. And you do the lights.

Who gets more letters? Like who gets. Like spelling out Marietta Little. Okay. Ready? Do the lights. Start the lights. I'll go on your count.

Once you say A, then lights go. Okay. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z. Shane is like, what the fuck is happening? I'm not ABCs. Next time won't you play with me? You can't. Is that your real handwriting?

Mary had a... I think I did good. I put Mary had a little lamb. Mary had a little is what I got. Bro, I fucking nailed it. I'm autistic or something. Mary had a little lamb. Oh, who's fleeced away in snow. That's right. I don't even know. See, that fucking nailed it. I'm autistic or something. Mary had a little lamb. Oh, who's fleece is white as snow. See, that's the problem too.

I'm too dumb to do the autism test. I was doing good. I feel like it's much harder to be autistic than what we just did. I'm glad you guys don't have good handwriting. It's the mark of a true pussy. I feel like you guys don't have good handwriting oh bro it's the mark of a true pussy

is having good penmanship I feel like you're super smart if you have bad handwriting too true made that up but I feel like it's chaotic it is true is it?

and if you can't spell I think I'm pretty bad at that there's no correlation between spelling and intelligence is that true? well they say memorization memorization is the lowest

form of intelligence. There's an H in white. What kind of grades did you get when you were a kid? I did pretty well. Yeah? I mean, you went to Army. Yeah, I got into West Point. That's a pretty good spot.

Pretty smart. Was that sports or academic? Sports. But it's still... You were still a fucking dummy. Yeah. Like who couldn't get in. But I didn't... That's right. Veteran, right? I dummy. Yeah. Like who couldn't get in. But I didn't...

That's right. Veteran, right? I am a vet. Yeah, you're exactly right. Veteran in Division I athlete. Yeah, where are your ashes at? You know, I don't know. I didn't get them either.

Thankfully, I live in an immigrant neighborhood, so they were all ashed up. And I was like, oh, fuck, it's Ash Wednesday. I fucked up. I'm going to go. Yeah, are you really? Oh, yeah. That's ridiculous. It's one of the most ridiculous things you've done. Ash Wednesday. I fucked up. I'm going to go. Yeah, are you really? Oh, yeah. That's ridiculous.

It's one of the most ridiculous things you've done. I'm going to get the ashes just because I'm going to dinner after this with my girlfriend and her family. So you want to show it off? Yeah. I'm going to be hammered with ashes. Wait, you're going right after this? Yeah, I got to go to dinner. What time is the reservation?

She's still got like four more hours. I don't know, I just asked her. You're going to be hammered. If you go all the way through. You know what's nice? What? She said, yay, I love it when you're going to be hammered if you go all the way through you know what's nice? she said yay I love it when you're drunk because I'm pretty mean sober I'm pretty much like

you like the apartment you dirty bitch you got my card you're buying everything and I'll be drunk and be like I love you what are we eating I'm fucked up some of the stories you've been telling I'll be like, I love you. What are we eating? I'm fucked up.

Some of the stories you've been telling on Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast about your girl picking fights are like all-timers. She picked some great ones. She tried to fight me on Russia-Ukraine. What? Because she thought I was – she accused – she – dude. You wouldn't believe this. This is like two days before the invasion. So back when they were...

I was like, they're stirring this up. Like, there's something going on. People want this war. Yeah. But you know me, dude. I'm a fucking conspiracy guy. No. I'm not a conspiracy guy.

I just have friends that are. That I like. So I'm like, I believe them. So you hear all that shit. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But she... Out of nowhere, she was like, you don't think America should go to war with Russia? And I was like, no.

I don't want that. I don't want war. We should sanction Russia. I don't want war. And then she just turned on me. And then she texted me like an hour later and was like, I'm Ukrainian. Then, yo, did I explain this one pocket her mom listens to the podcast to me and

said she's Russian those the worst plenty of fights with gotten. I've gotten in plenty of fights with women, obviously, but when it comes to fucking just a geopolitical event, being like, oh, you don't like this? I'm like, no. There was one right before when you guys

were on vacation, too. That was the craziest. That was the craziest. You're exactly right. So, I spent $15,000 fucking dollar. I got ripped off. craziest that was the craziest you're exactly right so you're just beautiful 15 000 fucking dollar i got ripped off so i when i was a kid i went to this five-star resort in jamaica everything was paid for i thought it was all inclusive just because it was on the rich people i was with's room so i was like this is the best resort of all time so i went back and now it was my card where you at half moon Half Moon yeah I've been there

that's just incredible so yeah that's sick Half Moon fucking rules I think I'm going back to Half Moon next month it's dope it's incredible

so I was at Half Moon we're having dude we're literally we're the only ones there because it just opened after COVID like past November and

we're at like a candlelit dinner overlooking sunset Caribbeanibbean sea and i don't know we've been day drinking that's all we did yeah she's a drinker too so literally we're like let's go on vacation all we do is blackout it's a nightmare it's terrible that's it that's all vacations so we go we're sitting at this gorgeous fucking location. And we're the only ones there. There's people playing fucking steel drums and shit. And then she's like, you – we started talking about the lady who got killed.

Out in the – Brian – Yes. What's his name? Killed his girlfriend on that cross-country trip. The blonde girl. Brian Laundrie. Brian Laundrie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Out of nowhere, she's just like, you don't even know how old Brian Laundrie is. And stormed off. Stormed off. Like, we're having a nice day. She's like, you don't even know how fucking old Brian Laundrie is. I was like, what? What happened? She stormed off.

She got like halfway. What she is good at is accepting when I call her out. Yeah. So I was like, yo, while she was walking away I was like that's the craziest one you've ever done around and then she found a real fight like a minute later there was like a real fight and she was like and I'm the only one who can get it. They just... She's struggling.

She was like, you still follow your ex on Instagram. I was like, uh-uh. You're right on that one. How do you know her Instagram? That sentence you throw while you're falling, trying to grab something. We didn't follow her for it. Yeah, how do you know her name? There's no better place on earth, though, to have a woman storm off than a five-star Jamaican resort.

Just three Jamaicans behind a bar watching, just like, don't worry about that. Let's get fucked up. I'm like, yo, the bros. No, she got me, yeah, that was, she's got me twice on that,

which is very, that she's corrected herself. One time she started crying in a hotel. They can do that. They can just like make themselves cry. She made herself cry because she fucked up

and made herself cry. Because then you give in. And I was like, you're faking. She started laughing. She started laughing and I was like, that's pretty good.

That was pretty good. You can suss it out now. It's the first time I've ever been old enough and smart enough to be like, that's fake. Yeah,

because as you're younger, you're like, you know, I had you dead to rights, you fucked up, but you start crying and so I'm like, all right,

it's okay. I'll do anything to make you stop crying. Yes. And also, you know what bullshit is too? When we fuck up, they hold you to it

when they fuck up because I don't want to be treated that way I'm like eh it's alright you fucked up but no you gotta get your money's worth because you gotta even the score so now I'm holding you to the fire even though I don't fucking want to McCusker has a good one which is you gotta fight them back with girl brain you gotta be like the way you're acting

is making me feel sad you can't be like you dumb bitch you gotta actually go girl brain yeah I'd be like the way you're acting is making me feel sad can't be like you've dumped you gotta actually go the oceans are yeah they respond to go there I've perfected that I think I can talk to Wayne I'm gonna be like I've heard you I understand, I'm like that's not what I meant and that's how I would usually yell at him I said don't be a bitch I wasn't calling you a bitch

no, what are you talking about I'm crazy now? no I got that enough where I'm like no I fucking do you still do the old well are we breaking up over this? I got that enough where I'm like, no, I fucking... Do you still do the old, well, are we breaking up over this? Because if not, let's just stop fighting.

That was my move for a long time. And then we broke up over it. Really? What's the point of this fight? You were threatening it. Well, it was a dog. I don't want to break up. Do you want to break up over this or not?

And it would be like, well, no. Okay, well, then let's just get over it. As if there's no middle ground at all between ending the whole fucking thing and...

In my lady's defense, I was hitting that early and often. I was going to it. I was like, do you want to just end this then? She's like, no. What are you talking about?

I was like, I'll do it. I got my finger on the trigger right now. I was pooped. I was pooped. I was like, I'll blow this whole fucking thing up, dude. We're like, no, don't. All right. Let's see what else.

Yeah, you got to fight back. See, that is the opposite of fighting back with, I guess it is girl brain. You got to do the mental terrorism back on them. Yeah. Because they manipulate back. See, that is the opposite of fighting back with... I guess it is girl brain. You gotta do the mental terrorism back on them. Yeah. Because they manipulate like a motherfucker, man. Like, I don't even know what's happening right now. I'm in the fucking spin cycle over here. The fact that she laughed after I was like,

you're not really crying. Yeah. That is good, though. I know. But it is like, yeah, you're sociopathic. That is terrifying. That's like the Joker. You're like...

I wasn't really crying. Yeah, I went full Batman. I was like, you're not crying. Now you can tell when I'm faking it. Yeah, I guess. I guess I got busted there. Yo, her mom listens to your show, though. That's crazy.

That hurts. Yeah. And talks to you about it? Yeah, what's funny is her mom has me on vanish mode on Instagram she definitely doesn't know it's like when you're sending nudes and shit it's like when you snapchat

there's a thing on Instagram where you can swipe up yeah it's nice fire it up brother what's it look like it like turns black like the screen that you text in yeah her mom accidentally has me on I think. So like if you pull it down, no, you pull it up, right?

Yeah. And then this is vanish mode. So like if I- Who's that girl? Who's that girl? This is a dude. I DM with dudes. Yo, who's that hot 22-year-old?

Scene messages will disappear when you close the chat. So after you close it out, it disappears. So her mom, she's a- How the fuck, how long has this been around for? I don't know. Probably the invention of Instagram. It probably was around. Get out of town.

No, it was probably when Snapchat blew up. They were like, we got to have a Snapchat. Or when CyberDust, when we were pushing CyberDust on. Mark Cuban, I was convinced that was going to change texting. Cuban dropped the ball on that one. But no, but the idea's good. The idea's good. Eventually it will be there.

Not a great name. No. CyberDust is a great name. CyberDust? That was idea's good. The idea's good. Not a great name. Cyberdust is a great name. Cyberdust? That was Cuban's Snapchat. His thing was all your text messages disappear, which we should all do. Having a goddamn paper trail of everything you've ever fucking said is a nightmare. Well, I don't have it. All my shit deletes every 30 days.

Yeah, but it's your shit. How do you know that? Because I said it that way. But hers doesn't. Really? All my text messages, everything's gone. Yeah, hers don't. That's what I mean.

You need everybody to lose it. They're probably going to hack my phone and someone else's. I'm not worried about hacking. I'm worried about just having the receipts all the time. Look, you said this right fucking here. I'm like, well, if that disappeared, you wouldn't even know. It's not on my phone. I don't know what you're talking about.

You faked that. That's dark there. You hacked it. I'm just cycling what you're talking about. You faked that. That's dark there. You hacked it. I'm just cycling through all the messages I've sent. Damn, those are out there? Oh, my God. If you got hacked, what would be the worst thing that you don't want out there? Why the fuck would I put it out there?

Mine is any sex, any sexual discussion. Yeah, sex. Sex. Because sometimes I think there's worse shit than sex. No, there's nothing I have. Well. Definitely. Okay, here's a question.

There's definitely some words. There's definitely some group text where I'm like, isn't this a funny word? People are like, no. I'm like, oh, I wish I could delete that. This was a test. This will be cleared up in a month. I was checking if you guys were okay with it. Yeah agree. This was a test. I was checking if you guys were okay with it. You guys passed the test. Would you rather have sex leak

or cutesy text leak? I don't have cutesy text. Really? Yeah, I don't have any of those. I'm not a fucking fruitcake. I'm not nice to my girlfriend. Fuck you guys. I would so much rather have sex and dick pics than pet names cake like i've never been i'm not nice to my girlfriend fuck you guys no i am i am like i

would so much rather have sex and dick pics than like pet names and cutesy things i can't wait to see you no way no way you say that and then dude you ever see like a stenographer read it or like a i know i know room where that's also my point he said ha ha show me your pussy yeah but but i think that's gone on so often because everybody says this now any any sex that you read out of context sound like crazy i think we kind of know that because we all read tiger woods and we all read it doesn't matter you know as soon as you read anybody's but i think i think but at the end of the day mine are fucking gruesome and disgusting so i'd be like yeah man at least i'm fucking, yeah. Listen, I was fucking her gaping asshole, dude. What do you want me to tell you?

Okay. But my cutesy shit is like, kill yourself, dude. Gruesome is very cute. I don't, I don't, I never had like cutesy, cute. Like I've said like baby and stuff like that. And a lot of people have never said like, I've never been like, what's funny is what's in my head is just talking about like, really just being nice to them.

I don't want to see you. Pussy! You see those texts from KFC? You want to hang out with his girlfriend? I would want nudes first, fucking sex second.

Sorry dude, let it ride. And then the other ones just don't exist. But do you remember the Donald Sterling court transcript? Bro. Innocent.

It is. One of the all-time moments. Innoc is. One of the all-time moments. Innocent. One of the all-time moments. Well, he's got AIDS. Is it? That was in, like, that was a little too early. Like, social media wasn't really where it was at.

But they just said, like, what about magic? And we just got AIDS. That's a good point. It's certainly a fact. I'd be like, yo, please don't fuck Magic Johnson. You can take pictures with him. All right. I want to make sure I get this right.

I think Donald Sterling was kind of innocent. For what? I don't remember what he was accused of, so I can't make it up. I'm fairly certain he never said the N-word. I don't know. Innocent. I have no idea. Innocent. Dude. I'm fairly certain he never said the N-word. I don't know. Innocent. I have no idea. Innocent.

Dude, I think he was texting. Yeah, yeah. As long as you don't say it, you're fine. I think he was texting his lady like, yo. Stop fucking. Chill the fuck out. It's a bad look. Yeah.

His girl was taking pictures of like eight foot black dudes every day. Like he was sitting there like, please stop. He's 90 years old. Like, and he never hit it. He never hit it. He never fucking pressed the button. And these are private. Do you know how hard it is for an 80 year old to fucking pull back from the button?

It's impressive. He's got a fucking room full of buttons, and he never hit a button. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't remember the transcripts. I'm not looking up that. Well, look him up. Vindicate me. That was like caught on tape making racist remarks to girlfriend.

They might have the receipts. This is one. Before we get to the serious one, this is my favorite one. This is Donald Sterling's answer. Oh, this is amazing. He goes, well, I fool around sometimes. I do. When a girl seduces me and tells me all these hot stories and dirty things

and tells me how much she wants to suck on me and takes my shoes off and licks my feet and touches me, when I'm in a limousine, she takes off all her clothes. The limo driver said, what's going on? And she started sucking me on the way to Mr. Coon's house, and I thank her. Wow, chill. Chill, his name's Magic Johnson. Delete that.

Actually, keep that. It's fine. He goes, and I thank her. I thank her for making me feel good. And the lawyer responds, Sir, the question was, is this your handwriting? Dude, he's geese. Look at him, bro. He has a thousand. Yo, if you're fucking, if you're resting your hands on your stomach like that, we're like, whatever.

When they're upside down, when they're like. Bro. what was the the one let him go let him go let him yeah get rid of him let's

let's move on let him move no I'm having a good time let him put him out to pasture but let's not condemn the man

he did sell right he did have to sell the team he did sell the team yeah he owns it now. Fucking bomber, right? That guy's cool. No, that guy's cool.

That guy fucks. Yeah, you think that guy's never done horrific actual atrocities? I'm pretty sure Microsoft is chill. They're only the cause for the movie classic Antitrust. Yo, you guys watch the... Sorry, Ryan Felipe. You guys watch the State of the Union? You didn't watch it?

No, I was doing a podcast and I watched the Bruins game. I honestly have no idea. I saw the meme of Bo Bear and Marjorie Taylor Greene. I've seen that meme. Those two dumb bitches yapping. He actually did very well. Did he? I mean, as far as not fucking up that much. What are you, a liberal pussy?

I'm not liberal. Some sort of lib cock? I'm not liberal. Look at me drinking this seltzer. No, he did well. I wanted to watch it and be like, look at this dead, dumbass. He did pretty good. Speaking, at least.

He fucked up a couple times. He was like, the Iranian people. Oh, yeah. In Ukraine. I heard he said Uranian. Whatever. He's trying. Which is like, you know, you probably shouldn't get that wrong.

But also, it's like, I don't know. He meant Ukrainian. He said Uranian. No big fucking deal. He meant Ukrainian. If he said something, like, really wrong, I get it. But, yeah. I had it the other day where I said Taylor Swift lives in Wellesley and I met in Westerly.

And people got mad at me. They're like, I thought you were a Swifty. You're a big Swifty and I met in Westerly. People got mad at me. They're like, I thought you were a Swiftie. You're a big Swiftie. I'm a big Swiftie, but people speak sometimes talking. I know where she lives. I know what's in Rhode Island. Do you ever think sometimes that she might stink? I've met her.

No. She doesn't stink. No, as a person. No, as a person. Not literally. Oh, yeah. Why would I not think either one? Oh, it's just funny.

I've thought, oh, bro, I've run through all the fucking situations. Yeah, I've thought about her smelling bad. I've thought about her being a bad person. My buddies met her because she's from Pennsylvania. Yeah, yeah. She was new, and she was doing some shitty college. And my buddies all met her. Pretty fun.

Pretty fun. They all fingered her. I was going to say, back in the day, somebody was probably fucking Taylor Swift, though. Imagine being one of those guys and being like, yeah, I bangered her. I was going to say, back in the day, somebody was probably fucking Taylor Swift, though. Imagine being one of those guys and being like, yeah, I banged her. She's one of the most famous people to ever walk the planet Earth now. When I first met her, I met her on the Red Tour. On the Red Tour.

You guys know? The Red Tour. You know, you know. That's when Taylor's on her period because I'm on the red door her security guard was like that's worse

than my magic that was way worse dude that's disgusting and misogynist the the security guard's like you gonna hug her

and I was like I was like oh no never he goes no you should what a cuck he goes you should she likes hugs and I was like alright so I walked, never. He goes, no, you should. What a cuck. He goes, you should. She likes hugs.

And I was like, all right. So I walked towards her, kind of like arms slowly going like this, waiting for him to come smoke me from behind. Like, you see me? He's like, gotcha, bitch. Are you going to try to kiss her? Why don't you try to kiss her? She likes it when you grab her ass.

Give her a little tickle. She did nail that guy. Remember that guy who did? Yeah, yeah. This was before that. Right, right. I imagine Secura gotle. She did nail that guy, remember? That guy who did grab her ass. Yeah, this was before that. I imagine Secura got a producer or something. Yeah, some like A&R guy in Nashville, something like that. He was known for doing it. It was like his move.

Props. Props. Being like, yo, I'm untouchable. I'm on FM 98 in Nashville. There's no way they can take me down. Taylor Swift needs me. Oh, what a backfire. Every time he saw our music videos, he's like,

she's gaining popularity. Yeah. For real. He's sending memos to the whole station like, we're never playing her again. Meanwhile, she's playing like fucking Wembley in London. It doesn't matter anymore. you know it's funny i when i moved to new

york my buddy tim butterly helped he came up with me and i moved and when we got on the bqe where like you see manhattan and you go under the brooklyn bridge i played welcome to new york just to be like to fuck with him to be like what the fuck and I was like this means a lot to me and he

he actually as a good friend just silently took it oh you played it like you were real yeah I was like this is this is big

and you did the whole song I played no I gave it like a minute I was like I'm joking but he was like nice

nice cool man cool I'm I'm a but he was like nice nice cool man cool I'm a bitch in a car like if if you're driving you're a bitch everywhere I'm a bitch everywhere

I'm a bitch no matter where I go but you're like this is important to me what do you mean me I told you ask him twice

I'm the biggest pushover on the planet hands down no questions asked it is easy the like his fear or you know desire to not have any confrontation is staggering it's amazing

it's it's it leads to more confrontation it's actually really yeah it's pretty i do that pretty ironic but i'm like i'll never shoot myself in the foot i'll always try to put it off but eventually then it becomes you confronted that. You confronted that lady today during Friday Night Pints. It's pretty hard. Oh, heavens to Betsy Tico Texas. I like her. Honestly, you were like, you were, you know how they do that? They check body language for couples and stuff like that. I've never seen, it doesn't make sense physically. Why?

Are you racist? What are you, Donald Sterling? I know how this is going to come out. I know. That's all I'm trying to do. I can't believe you, Donald Sterling? I know how this is going to come out. I know. That's all I'm trying to do. I can't believe you're Donald Sterling, dude. You can take pictures. I'm sorry.

Delete that. I got a lot to lose. Yeah. I can't have him take down my YouTube free comedy special would you would you add like 5 million views on that

or some shit no no no higher? no less really? less I would have guessed like legit 5 plus

no it hit a nice wall well eventually it just like yeah everybody that was interested is like right

you'll trickle around here it was fine and then eventually you'll say something get cancelled and it spikes back up I'll fire it up that's the exact number

now it's a 3.6 that's a big fucking number that's a big number and how long it's been like coming up on a year 5 months

5 months holy shit that's bananas how do you already have new shit then because we saw you at Caroline's which was at Caroline's, which was...

At Caroline's, I thought you had a whole new hour, a whole new special. Yeah, I'm working on it. It might be. I thought that was the funniest thing I'd seen in maybe my whole life. The new Caroline's is good. The Caroline's is so... I remember I was fighting with you at the stand afterwards. I was like...

You were like, because you were getting mad at Racine. You're like, you killed... You were better than me. Well, Racine, that was crazy. That's the craziest thing of all time. So Racine opened, and Racine... Mike Racine. That's the craziest thing of all time. So Racine opened and Racine, Mike Racine is

one of the best comedians. Like, without a doubt. But, when you're opening for someone and you're like, and the headline is like, yo, you killed,

you fucking buried me. The polite thing to do is be like, nah, you did great. Racine was like, yeah. Goddamn right. And I was drunk enough to be like, fuck this guy. Racine was like, yeah. Goddamn right. I was drunk enough

to be like, fuck this guy. But I was like, that was like the funniest and everything. Like that was, honestly, those 45 minutes,

hour, whatever it was, was, I think that was funnier than Austin. Hell yeah. It was fucking so good. The George Washington shit

is incredible. I'm very excited about George Washington. It's really good. Cause you know what I like? Cause you really, if you listen to your podcast and you know his comedy, you really do like history and take an interest in it.

So the fact that you've worked that into your show, it comes out even more real. But, I mean, the George Washington stuff where you were on the field trip alone is fucking insane. That was true. I want to say this. Mike Racine rules. It is important. Mike Racine is somehow

underrated. He came... When he came here recently, we haven't aired it yet, but he came like last week. He's a little awkward. He would have fucking crushed that test. He brought us a pizza. He brought us a pizza. A freezing cold pizza. He's a pure autistic wobble. But man, did you get to see him that night?

Yeah. No, I saw that night. He was awesome. With jokes that are just like... There's a few comics that are out there that are like doing jokes. So you're like, how do you do that? He's one of them. Not to suck his dick.

And I forget who... I don't know what you call each level of it. So we're seeing the opener. Who's the host? The host was, I think, Jamar Navers. Okay. It was Jamar. Jamar's wild. Dude, we're seeing the opener. Who's the host? I think Jamar neighbors. Okay. Jamar. Jamar is wild.

Jamar is the funniest. He doesn't give a fuck. Jamar neighbors doesn't care. So, he had opened for me like the week before in LA. And dude, we were in Irvine. So,

it's all rich. The richest white people. That was the weirdest thing. Cause normally I'm used to, I can do a Republican crowd, but I'm used to... I can do a Republican crowd. Don't say. I'm used to white trash Republican crowds that are like, yeah!

The dogs, the boys. This was rich Republicans, which are the worst people on earth. Those are like the pure evil people. So any jokes, they're like, no. Jamar opened and was out there. He's like, what's up, motherfuckers? And they were all just.

Bro, when he opened at Caroline's. Oh, you trying to fuck me, motherfucker? Hitting people with the hardest. At one point, he had a conversation between himself and like a meerkat. Do you remember that? It's one of the best jokes. Like extended like minutes of him being like. They're not English words. He didn't want to do that. I was like, I mean, I'm not English words. He didn't want to do that.

I was like, you got to do the meerkat joke. He was like, I'd like to see a, I don't want to fuck his joke. But he's talking as a meerkat. Between humans, best comedians and meerkats, best comedians. And he was just up there. He's like, you can catch that motherfucker on the next Lion King. Dude. Dude, and then we went, and then after that, when we were back at the stand,

and we went downstairs, and, like, we walked in on the middle of Jamar's act, and he was hanging. He was hanging. Dude, he was doing pull-ups. He was hanging from the rafters, bro. He was doing pull-ups on a bar. Jamar Neighbors. I've never seen one comedian that doesn't care about what the crowd thinks.

Which is like, this is funny. It's like the ultimate power. And it makes it the funniest thing of all time. You just come up with him? You knew him from like- No, I met him in LA. Oh, wow. He's fucking-

Oh, tell me about- He's underrated as fuck. Dude, he was... And he was also wearing... I don't remember what the date was. Dude, it was probably Mohawk. No, it was January 6th, and he was wearing a capital hat. Oh, right.

He was wearing a hat. Yes, yes, yes. That whole weekend he had the hat. That's why he was wearing the hat. Because I was like... Because someone from the crowd threw it or something, right? Yes. Some dude was like, here, I got you this.

And I was like, don't give me a fucking capital hat. That's one of the most disrespectful things you can do. Hey, I got you this. And I was like, don't give me a fucking capital hat. That's one of the most disrespectful things you can do. Hey, I got you a capital hat. I think you're the type of person who enjoyed this joke. I'm like, well, I don't know if you got what I was doing, but I'm glad you bought it. Now I give it to Jamar. Jamar came out.

That's great. He's insane. What was, you had your night with Nate Diaz. Bro. But I feel like there was more to it or something. Nobody on earth is better than Nate Diaz. That checks out. So I did a show with Rogan.

The whole time, because Rogan brought me out there. So I didn't want to be a dick. What venue was that? We did Irvine again. But he had to do UFC at Anaheim the next day so he was like I

you know he can't get fucked up yeah have to he does the prelims he does the whole thing right so I was like

I gotta wait till Rogan gets done with his set and kind of ask him like can I go chill yeah you know what I mean you don't want to be like I definitely don't want to leave

during his set and be a dickhead yeah so like he got done I was like bro I love Nate Diaz so much this is my only chance

to hang out with him probably ever that's like your number one guy right Nate Diaz you always say if I can hang out with one dude

you can hang out with one athlete Nate Diaz which is a good answer and I don't think many people would say that but that's a good answer bro

it's exactly what you think it is it was everything I wanted I walked in it was him just shotgunning a fucking seltzer. I got in there late, and he was like, yo, get him one, too. He's the nicest dude ever. As soon as I walked in, he was like, yo, get this motherfucker one also. And he got me one.

And then we walked outside, and he front kicked a stranger. He got in a fight with a stranger immediately. Wait, after you were getting done. No, no. So,

so Nate's like, everybody that comes up, he's like, let's get a picture. Yeah, fuck you. Like all that. And then one dude walked up

that was like jacked and Nate Diaz just immediately was like, yeah, you want to run up on us? But it was just like a but it was just like a perfectly nice guy who happened to be strong oh he was he was mean mugging

well that was so I was a little fucked up but it was tough for me to decipher was he mean mugging because of the situation or pre I didn't see pre so as soon as Nate called him out obviously the dude was like right right then he gets up and Nate dude was like, what's up?

And Nate immediately was like, yo, what's up? Dude, Roan said the funniest thing ever. So Nate has legs locked. I don't want to put racism on Roan. But he was like, so he slapped him like an Indian? Like knees locked. Nobody slaps like that on Earth. Literally no bend in the knees.

Just like, fuck you, motherfucker. And then obviously his boys jumped in and pulled him apart. While they were pulling him apart, he threw a front kick. And I was just standing there like, yo. And he connected on this dude's hip, which just made him lose. He just flew everywhere that would like I actually

if like and then hold on and then me and Nate walked down the street together just me and Nate it was the nicest moment oh that's cool did you guys kiss?

front kicked the guy I wish what were you talking about when you walked alone as soon as we walked away he was like that motherfucker was like talking shit

and I was sitting there like yeah for sure totally man I'm glad your boy's like, that motherfucker was talking shit. And I was sitting there like, yeah, for sure. Totally, man. I'm glad your boy's broken up because I was going to jump in too. He's the best ever. I love the two things you said that they were always at any time, two people were grappling. At any given moment, someone's grappling.

Everybody in the squad was wrestling. What's his name? Marvin Vittori was with us also. He was like the middleweight or whatever he's a beast he's the Italian he's a monster he had just gotten done

fighting fucking Izzy for the belt he was with us like don't fuck with me he like spoke oh man and then you go outside

and everybody everybody thought the other person called for an Uber so you're just like wrestling outside and there's no Uber coming? It was the worst.

I mean, I was enjoying it, but I was just praying to God nobody started wrestling me. Just lifting my shirt up and slapping me. I was like, please guys, don't do your moves. I've hung out with the Gronkowskis before and it's basically the exact same experience. They're exactly who you think they are

the Gronks and the Diaz's together would be unbelievable we forgot who got Ubers I'm in the corner like don't touch me please I love you guys you don't know how much I love you you guys would be upset if you found out how happy I was

I did it after one of the Pat's Super Bowls. At the Pat's Ram Super Bowl, I was in a mosh pit. It was going to be a rough dinner. I mean, you've got to be like 13 deep, right? No, no, no. Are you sure, bro? I was like 9. I was in a

mosh pit at the Chainsmokers at the Patriots after party with the Gronkowskis. Yo, Chainsmokers rule. For real. Yo, for real, for real. Chainsmokers rule. There's no denying it at this point. Dude, and I had my shirt off, and I was just, like, wrestling with them.

But, like, we looked significantly different speechy. No, for sure. And at one point, like, they were just like, dude, I don't know if you should be in here with us. I was so fucked up, and I was so fat. They were like, I don't know, man. For sure not at least. Maybe watch this one from the sidelines. That's the thing about Nate.

Nate looks like a normal guy. His whole crew looked like normal guys. I was taking pictures with these dudes after, and one dude got tagged in it. He's like a boxing champion. Right. Like, these dudes after and one dude got tagged in it he's like a boxing champion like these dudes are pure animals and I was just like yeah this guy's small I fuck him up

Nate's just I don't give a fuck fuck that I was like yeah true the whole night I was like yeah dude you're the best I love you so much that's my champ. That's my champ.

No, Nate's incredible because he's won enough to obviously be respected. But he's the only guy in the world who, even when he fails at his respective craft, he gets bigger. So he truly can't lose. The last fight against Edwards? Who was the one? Where he just took a beating he all literally he had him in the very last second but he didn't he didn't go after him really yeah yeah but that moment that moment was cooler than winning slap and a straight yeah and the guy was like boom boom

instead of like finishing it he went yeah it was awesome yeah i fucked you up and then in the post the interview they're like you could have won that Nate what do you think he's like after party at my house

he's like yo do not care bro who's better do not fucking care dude when we went back to his house it was an Airbnb of like 8 dudes

all they had was like a laptop plugged into a shitty TV just blasting rap music yes like on YouTube pulling up music videos. Two girls,

all dudes. That is your dream, bro. That guy's a piece of shit. I was like, you're the best. I love you. Nate Diaz is the man. I can't think of anybody who's further from me. We're not the same species.

Nate's a man. Nate's a guy. I'm not. I'm more of a? We're not the same species. Nate's a man. Nate's a guy. I'm not. I'm more of a chick than I am closer to him. You know what I mean? Nate's a dog, dude. He's like 2 of T. Go back and watch those fucking Conor McGregor, Nate Diaz interviews. If you want to get fired up, pre... So Conor's at the

height. He's talking shit on everybody. He's like, ah, fucking blah, blah, blah. And then he runs into nate diaz who's the one guy who's like i don't care does not matter fuck you it's the best shit ever yeah he's like ah probably there's there's the best part ever is there's an interview i think it's like msnbc business or whatever some lady it's like uh how do you think the fight's gonna go he's like i'll probably knock him out in the first round. Nate just goes, he better. It's like, yo, that's the best answer I've ever heard. He's like, he better knock me out.

I'm going to fucking kill him. That was because I was so in on the McGregor hype train, and I still am. I still McGregor. It's tough right now these days, dude. Beating up old guys and shit. That was one time. He threw one punch. I'm all right with that.

I'm fine. I'm all right with punching an old'm fine. I'm all right with punching an old man in an Irish bar for sure. You beat up that fucking DJ. He's always beating up civilians. That's fine. You can't beat up civilians.

We just listened to DS get a guy in the chest. That's cool. That's Nate. And I will be honest, that guy did, you know, he had like a tribal tattoo.

He deserved it. He was wearing a tank top. It wasn't a sock and a geezer. It was bar. Bro, that Irish dude could take a fucking punch, bro. He was like, what the fuck was that? The middleweight champ.

That was the best punch in the world. I was heavy on McGregor in McGregor's heyday, and I still like him. I still find him entertaining. But because I was so heavy on McGregor, I was anti-Diaz. And then they both kind of met in the middle where I love them both now. McGregor's gone down. Diaz come way up. And I'm like, I'm a big fan of both.

Diaz is old. So he's got maybe one or two. He won me because I was mad at him when he choked out McGregor. I was like, ah, fuck that guy. What are you talking about? Literally, that birthed my fanhood. But I was still so pro-McGregor. Dude, when he choked him out, I was like, this is the coolest thing I've ever seen.

Just a vet. Making that guy tap. Just an underdog vet that was tough. And then the new guy that the UFC was pushing. And they're like, this is the corporation. And then one guy. Nope. But I'm a sucker for marketing.

Marketing. I'm like, dude, this guy's the best. But was it the Baddest Motherfucker Alive? Yeah, that sucked. See, that's when I became a DS guy. That was for a sponsor, though, right? That was at the Garden. I was there that night.

Were you? Yeah. For what? What did you say? I think it was the Baddest Motherfucker Alive. The BMF title, which is fucking cool. They shouldn't have had a belt. It was like WWE.

Yeah, it was. Lorne Michaels gave me his tickets that night really after I got fired shout out Lorne Lorne was always cool right he was always good to you

Lorne's the man you know he doesn't give a fuck he doesn't give a fuck he was like I gotta do this but we're cool right you're funny I'd love to have you everybody's being gay

you're exactly right Lorne and I quote I was there that night Masvidal fucked him up I like my dad but then towards the end

he on his back started winning that's what he does that's when Nate Diaz wins is the late rounds you're gassed

this fucking maniac has been doing triathlons and he's a vegan. Really? Yeah, he's like a secret fucking fitness monster.

He looks skinny fat because all he does is run and swim and bike. Yeah, it's not like bulk. And then towards the end, he's the toughest dude. And he can just eat punches. So it's like this bloody skinny fat guy.

He's like, whatever. I can go 10 more rounds. Yeah, it's Walking Dead type shit. That's what he did to McGregor, too. Right, so I will outlast him. He gassed McGregor off of his own face. You better. You better if I can kill me.

Because it's going to be a long night, motherfucker. Let's rip a voicemail while we got Shane here. Celebrating St. Patrick's Day all month long. What are you going to drink? Whiskey. That's what you drink during St. Patrick's Day all month long. What are you going to drink? Whiskey. That's what you drink during St. Patrick's Day. That's what you drink during March. And this spring and this summer, we're drinking Whistlepig Piggyback.

Now, if you want to drink the good stuff, you want to drink the rye whiskey, by all means, go for it. Whistlepig rye is like the premier whiskey in the world right now. Every high-class bar, every high-class restaurant, they've got the 6-year, the 10-year, the 12-year, the 15-year. They have the Boss Hogg, really, truly amazing rye whiskey. But if you're looking to have a party, you're looking to have fun, throw them back. You don't want to have to drink a billion cans. You'd rather just have an 8% whiskey cocktail. They got you covered. They come in packs of four. That's all you need. An 8% whiskey cocktail in a can.

Drink four of them and you are golden. All spring, all summer, all St. Patrick's Day long, drink your Whistlepig piggybacks. They've got a mule, an American mule, let's call it. They've got the Whistlepig mint julep, and they've got a berry flavor. So right now, what's it called? The Blackberry Lemon Fizz.

So get your whiskey cocktail in a can right now. It's available in certain states, only like a handful right now. If you're lucky enough that they are available at your local liquor store or distributor, do me a favor, tweet us a picture when you're buying it because we've got to let everybody else know from that area that they can get their Whistlepig. If it's not available in your state, go to piggybackrysmash.com. We actually found out the other day that a lot of people are ordering online, which is something I didn't think people

were really going to do. I was waiting for them to roll it out in person before we really started pushing it. But apparently we were crushing their e-commerce and they're getting more ads than like they've ever gotten before so go to piggybackrysmash.com and order your cases today so that's some poor sack bro everybody who gets married is marrying somebody who did horrible things for someone else yeah but not probably that's like an extra i'm telling you man everyone's got something on the resume. The girl I live with has never had sex. No, never. With anybody but you. She's getting that dick for the first time, and boy. Is she disappointed?

She's craving it. She can't get enough. I can't wait to fuck Shane Gillis tonight. She's like, wow, this is going to be some terrible sex. I can't wait until tonight after I make him dinner and he's done playing FIFA. Then? And he craw done playing FIFA. Then? And he crawls into bed. Oh, God.

What do you mean, aw, dude? Fuck you. Girls would die for that spot, dude. Bro, funny plays. Funny does work. It's crazy. Thank Christ. I mean, thank the fucking Lord, dude.

Oh, my God. I mean, if you fucking Lord, dude. Oh, my God. I mean, if you can make them laugh, they will fuck you. Yeah, what is that? Is it the same thing for gay guys? Like, will a funny stand-up comic get, like, a bunch of groupie guys because he's so funny? I think that's a problem because gay dudes are funny. Yeah. All of them are funny. Right.

They all are dickheads, nasty little bitches. And they are funny they all are dickheads nasty little bitches and they are funny gay dudes are funny across the board they all want to fuck each other because they're all funny because girls meet guys that aren't can you imagine walking into a guy that's not funny

be like let's go on a date and the guy like making a joke and just being like, holy shit. This guy sucks. This guy's a fucking moron. That's a really good point. Because most, most times. Dude, all over here, I'll be out.

I'm the worst. I'll be out to dinner, and I'll just listen to the table behind me and be like, oh my god. That's the material. That's your A game, dude. That shit's material? That's your A-game, dude. That material's 20 years old. I'm on new stuff. I'm anti-Semitic.

I'm working on new stuff. I'm so homophobic, I'm gay, which is funny. Alright, let's hear from this shit. Oh, that was in response to the voicemail. No, no, no. We made it for you.

We made it for you. This lady is phenomenal, by the way. This is a very hypothetical question. Super hypothetical, yeah. And I didn't want this to be a video, but whatever. I don't even care at this point. Hypothetically, you are watching porn, and you are under a category that you enjoy, and it might be niche to some people.

And you're scrolling and you see a familiar face, someone you like hypothetically went to high school with. And then you click and you're like, oh, hypothetically, this is definitely someone I went to high school with. That's crazy that she is under this niche category of porn right now. So how does she do that? And you want to share with your friends and get confirmation that this is that person, hypothetically. What would you do? Because if this hypothetically were to happen to me, I don't – like I love my friends and I'm open book, but like, don't really want them to know my porn history, especially if it's like a, oh my God, just listening to women talk, get to the end of it.

The voicemails, they always go and go. 17 more seconds. And, and, and throughout all of this, we're not going to know what category it is. She's not going to tell us what category it's like. You got to to know what category it is. She's not going to tell us what category. It's like, you've got to tell me what category it is. Oh, my God. Well, I can say this. I've been in a similar situation. It's more IRL than noticing it on porn.

It means it happens in real life. I know you're not much of an online guy. Wait, what do you mean it's IRL? What are you talking about, dude? We were at a... I'm online. You're not online. Shane gets drunk and tweets.

Shane gets drunk and tweets and tweets. You get drunk in tweets and you delete them all. I gotta delete. I've had some tweets. What do you mean IRL? You find someone in real life? We were at a strip club. And it was like...

Oh, right. It was the most... It was a group of me and three buddies. And we locked eyes with the girl we grew up with on stage. And she locked eyes with us. And the juxtaposition of what our two... with the girl we grew up with on stage and she locked eyes with us and the juxtaposition of what our two our three faces but first her face looked like we're I mean it isn't is it by that girl you ran into that no high school trick

that we that is at the strip club like we we were holding people back like it was and one she was like oh she was dying on stage oh no and so what we did immediately was got our cars drove home picked up more friends drove back no but at some point she's got to just accept it and be like i'm getting paid tonight right yeah yeah like did you pay her well yeah we talked and like it we smoothed it off did you pay her we we talked about we talked. We smoothed it out. Did you talk to her? Did you pay her? We talked and we paid. I remember you from high school. No, it was elementary school. We were in high school at the time.

Jackpot. Yeah. The hottest. Bro, there's a couple girls. We had gone to elementary school. We were like 19. And we were like, oh, shit, that's Kaylin. And then we were like, we got to go back and get the boys.

And then we came back. One of the boys got a DUI on the way. You know how it goes. That happens, dude. One of the guys burnt up in the atmosphere. And it was worth it. He'd do it again. That's just D-Day, bro.

That's hilarious. That's just D-Day. All right. We got an M.I. the Asshole here, too. This is from Laura. Hold on, what was her question? Oh, would you confront the person and be like, I saw you on this porn? I wouldn't confront them.

But I would send it to everybody. Yeah. I'd be like, yeah, I would whack off to it. I really wouldn't. Well, here's the thing, too. Because what you do isn't any of my business. I think it was like you tell your friends and out. The fact that you're into this weird niche porn.

Oh. Yeah. I mean, that you're into this weird niche porn. Oh, yeah Like it sounds like it's some weird shit we broke there's nothing that's that weird there is to do What if it's there are plenty of weird shit somebody's shitting or something for a girl if she's watching some piss porn You don't think her friends would be like wait. Why did you guys make them there? I feel like it was a recommended video from, like, the time I watched like, fucking, a different piss video. I've been thinking about it. I watch this other girl get peed on

in the shower, and then I got this one recommended to me. But it wasn't as weird. The one I watched was like a normal piss video. This one's a fucked up piss video. I think you can get away with it. Yeah, dude, I'd get away with it. First off, if anybody confronted me, I'd be like, this is horror. The point is her, not me. Don't worry about me.

I'm just watching. She's doing it. How do I get roped into this? Like, you sent it. You know what's funny? There were dudes that knew Two Girls, One Cup. Yeah, there were two guys who were like, that's Beverly and Jessica. No way.

Yeah. And that, I mean, there's also those. Does that hold up? I haven't seen two girls one cup in a decade. Can we find it? Really? You guys heard it recently? Can we snopes it?

I don't think it was real. Well, no. What's coming out of their ass is not shit. Yes. Yeah, but they shoved something up their ass. Correct. And then shit it out. It's like chocolate frosting or some shit. Yeah, yeah, yeahved something up there. Correct. And then sheared it out. It's like chocolate frosting or some shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's not shit. It has to have gone bad. Yeah, I mean, it's not great. In there. Yeah, I mean, it's in your asshole. But listen, they clean it out. I've seen plenty of stuff come out of assholes.

That's what I mean. They clean it out. They put it up there. It comes out. It's clean. Is it? Is it? Dude, two girls, one cup.

That took two seconds to come out. It's so bad. Oh, okay. I mean, it's really not. I remember the music. That's all I needed to hear was that one second. Oh, this is it, man. Yo.

I love that... Oh, bro. That's like peanut butter, bro. It is, but... Because, bro, there's also no way to do this. They're eating it like... This shit's not even like... Oh, my God.

You know what I mean? You can't humanly do that without being like... Oh, my God. And then she swallows it. I mean, I'm not kidding. You would die from this. Oh, my God. I can't believe I ever bought this.

I can't believe I ever thought this was real. That's amazing. Puking on top of the shit and then eating it. The puke is real. I'm glad I missed that. I didn't see that. Wait, rewind. No, no, no.

You got to watch this one shot. It's just tomato soup. Wait, not after this one. No, watch this next one. You're fine. You're fine. Watch this next one. Watch this one right here.

Right here. Right here. He's going to be here. He's going to be here. He, watch this next one. You're fine. You're fine. Watch this next one. Watch this one. Right here, right here, right here. Right here. He's gonna be here. He's gonna be here. Wait, watch this one. No. I think I'm done. I think I'm done with this. So here's the thing. Yeah, that's the worst video. I started with it's not so bad, but I think I'm done.

Well, here's what I didn't realize. I didn't know there was that much puke play. The shit is not real. The puke is not real. There's no way to fake the puke. I didn't know there was that much puke play. The shit is not real. The puke is not real. There's no way to fake the puke. I agree that the shit was not shit. But it was still wrapped in her colon. It was still in the asshole. Yes.

Yes. Somebody fucking hit her with a turkey baster. A fucking something. Yeah, I want to know the producer of that. It was like, actually, it was me putting. There was a genius. James Cameron. And props to them.

That was what? Like 2004? That was early. Yeah. She was doing that shit. I got a genius. James Cameron. And props to them. That was what, like 2004? That was early. Yeah, like she was doing that shit. I got a plan. Before? Now, shit that out. Go ahead and throw up on her.

And scene. And fin. It's a record. With a little. Yeah, that's good good work everybody that was visionary shit

here's your 100 bucks dumb Brazilian whores that was before people were even just casually eating butt. They made that video. That video is so obscene, I know it's foreign. Yeah.

That could never happen in my country. Not in America. I don't think that was. Not until Biden's America. Wait, was it? Was it? I've held this belief. No.

Dude, well, let's figure that out. It looks and feels foreign to me. It has to be foreign. One of our favorite stories is that we were in L.A. for something, right? I forget why we were in L.A. And it was, we were in Malibu? Brazilian. I knew it was Brazilian.

Yeah. Hungry Bitches. Lover's Theme by Herb Roy plays throughout the video. How do you say Hungry Bitches in Portuguese? But the, but so we're, oh wait, so there's a whole movie Hungry Bitches.

That's incredible. Yeah. I thought it was just that was the video. So there's a whole film of that, huh? Viewers often speculate. We should sit down

and watch that. They often speculate. Yeah. Refried beans, ice cream, or peanut butter. Oh my God. Can you imagine

if it was cold ice cream? Yeah, ice cream, no thanks. No, ice cream's better than fucking refried beans. Oh, peanut butter's the king. Cold ice cream up your ass? Let's marry, fuck, kill that. What's your three, bronze, silver, gold, what do you want in your ass?

It's ice cream last. Cold ice cream? Peanut butter might be nice. Peanut butter's to marry. I'll fuck the refried beans. What are you talking about? You can't have freezing cold ice cream in your asshole. It would be very uncomfortable.

What are you talking about? You want me to say it again? It would be so cold. You take an ice bath. You get in a nice shower. That's terrible, Jay. You wake up a little. You're about to throw up.

You're going to be like, fire the ice cream. Fuck it. And also, refried beans. You've got to kill that. You've got to stay on to it. Just the standards. I have some standards. I'm not doing refried beans in my asshole. Then you've got to tongue it in a minute.

A minute later, you're going to be sick. I'm not thinking the other way. I'm thinking about how it feels in your ass. Ice cream. I like how you think it both ways. That's why you're putting it in yours. Don't make this about my weight. Because you want to eat ice cream.

You're like, well, hold your horses. What the fuck, Ken? But I was telling the story of when we were in L.A. And we were playing pool with this chick at a bar in, I forget, what was it? Huntington Beach. Not Malibu Beach. Huntington Beach. And this chick is using a sundress.

And she's mildly attractive. Not crazy hot, but mildly attractive, right? Not like heroin addicts way. Yeah. And we're playing pool with her. And every time she kind of moves, we notice a new bruise here there whatever and and we finally like it came up eventually it was like so what do you do and she's like i just got back from europe i've been shooting porn for six months and it's like oh

you've been doing that german shit like that's why you have like weird bruises like everywhere everywhere your dress flows a new a new bruise is exposed. It's like, oh, you've been tied up in a German basement. You get hit with sticks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, wait. So this is the am I the asshole that I've been meaning to answer for a couple weeks. Kind of. If I saw those bruises, I'd be like, I love her.

That's my wife. I did remember being more interested. I'll say that. I wasn't interested that you told the story and I was like so what's your number she looked like the kind of girl

you would think is born in America and goes to Germany to shoot porn you're like yeah that checks out your career progression makes sense

real dark that's the minor leagues bro if you're born in America and go to Germany for porn what did your dad do? Your dad failed, bro.

Your dad. You know the old, like, you got to keep her off the pole? He didn't fail. He got his. You got to keep her out of fucking German porn. He got his socks off. He got a little handsy. Yeah.

He got a little handsy. He was like, no, I was successful. He probably come. Raising her wasn't my issue. I had a girlfriend from first. Which is actually a nice thing. Which is nice to just be like, my daughter's hot as fuck. I fuck her a bunch.

She's always available. You know what? My daughter was hot as shit. I fucked her as long as I could. Time to call it. That was a good life. Thank you, God. Hopefully Gargoyle falls on me tomorrow.

You just got called today. Gargoyle will make sense tomorrow on Friday Night Bites. So this girl, Laura, DMed me a while back and told me the story. When she was 19, someone dropped a gun and she took a 45 to the chest. She spent two years in the hospital and she's paralyzed. And so she's kind of told me a couple of stories throughout. Since then, she's gone hang gliding and skydiving and scuba diving. I bet. Her legs strapped in. I'm pretty good at this one.

White water rafting. I got it a lap dance from MGK on stage. Anyway, so the latest. She sounds like a hot. She is. Wait, what? Sorry, what happened? She just has done all this like badass stuff since being paralyzed.

She's hot. Oh, since being paralyzed. Okay, that was the important part I was missing. Yeah. So she's hot. She's all tatted up. But here was the question. Actually, she asked a question.

She got two questions. First one being, if you got paralyzed, would you like never give up on the idea and constantly do therapy? Or would you just say, fuck it, I'm paralyzed. Let me live the best life possible? Because that was her point. She's like, I'm still doing awesome stuff, but she's like, I'm not trying to walk anymore. It's over for me. But I still can do all this dope shit because I think I would give the fuck up on all of it. I don't understand

the science of like, I can walk. Well, like, your back got broken, so you can't walk, right? I'm not familiar enough with this. My answer, as always, would be give up. I think if you can kind know, you can kind of The science doesn't matter. You give up. Yeah. The in-between stuff.

I'm always sitting. Yeah. Well, I do think that. Stand up, I can still just sit. Nice wife, retard. I can still do it. This, I would have gotten that bar. Friday Night Pines, I would have gotten in that bar. Friday Night Pines, I would have got hammered. Same shit.

Same exact shit. I came over to this one. Here I am. What's up? You never don't have a seat. If I'm in a crowded bar and I'm standing, I hate that. Yeah, everybody gets out of the way. The problem is the in-between of showering and traveling

and getting in and out of bed. That's not easy. But I think I would give up. I have no problem giving up. Yeah, I would suck. I would get more miserable than I am somehow. I would be more angry and depressed and upset at the world. Great material.

Yeah, you'd be very funny if you were like very bitter nasty motherfucker. That's as funny as you can get. Just sitting there like, you know who sucks? Everyone. No matter what you say,

someone's going to be like, yeah, The Rock does suck. I get it. So, here's where I'm at. I support her. Here's where I'm at. Am I the asshole for being too honest to a random child? So let me cut through the bullshit.

29-year-old female paralyzed from the chest down. I was at the mall, and I was sitting out front. Damn, so her tits still feel? I don't know. I was at the mall and sitting out front waiting for someone while they ran to get the car. A family was walking past me

and this girl who was like seven or eight years old goes, what happened to you? But not in like an innocent or a concerned way like most kids do. And the mom didn't stop her.

So I said to her, my boyfriend shot me in the chest when i was 19 and it hit my spine and now i'm crippled forever and the mom stopped walking and said wait really uh i'm sorry i'm glad you're okay and as they walked away she whispered to her daughter and that's why you aren't dating until you're 30 and the mom looked back at me upset because her daughter probably didn't need to hear that but if you're seven and you ask a stranger for real questions then you get real answers. So am I the asshole for saying that?

Not at all. She's totally right. The mom's a fucking dumbass. The mom's a dumb bitch, and the kid is getting taught by a dumb bitch. I would love to see that. What was your mom supposed to say? Her daughter's going to Germany. I would love to be able to do that to some kid.

My boyfriend shot me in the fucking chest, and that's why I can't walk. What is she supposed to say? Like a Disney prince stepped on my back? Right. You know, soften it. That's her point. I think she's, you know,

should I have said it in a nicer way? She's totally correct. Yeah, I love it. I got to see the pictures of this lady. I kind of like her. She's got cool tattoos.

Me and her have similar lifestyles. She has these tattoos of... I'm going to lock her wheel and be like, you're going to have to watch me play FIFA. You're not going anywhere, dumbass.

You can't get away. Dude, she's super hot. Look at her. She's obviously the one sitting down in the chair. Yeah, they're both hot. Both those witches. Oh, dang. Whoa.

Carhartt hat? The sign of a hot chick. That's MGK giving the lap dance. She also has tattoos of the... I'd be mad about that. That's my weird show. Get off there, MGK. The hell you doing, bro?

You didn't get enough standing pussy? Now you're taking my sitting pussy? You need to cripple too? Fuck. God damn it. Yeah, man. This chick's a rocket. Come on.

Yeah, she's hot. I don't care that she can't walk. Walking is super overrated. If I can fucking scar any child she wants in front of me, I'm just going to get hot. I mean, legitimately, out of all, I hate standing. Out of all the things in the world. This is extremely disrespectful to say.

Nah, she's cool, bro. Standing is the worst. When I get home, the first thing I do is sit down. After I sit down, what do I do? I lay down. I don't ever want to be fighting gravity. Gravity's a bitch. You know what? Can I say something that's going to be disrespectful to everybody? I've reached a point now where when I wake up in the morning, I don't ever want to be fighting gravity. Gravity's a bitch. You know what? Can I say something that's going to be disrespectful to everybody? Always.

I've reached a point now where when I wake up in the morning, I used to be a chill. I lay in bed all day. I'm tired of laying down by the time I wake up. Don't you dare. For sure. For sure. I'm like, I'm sick of this. I'm getting up.

Don't you dare. Mark this day down. The day that John said he doesn't want to lay anymore. I lay until noon. I wake up at fucking 10. I lay for two hours. Well, that's... Is that what we're talking about?

He said he doesn't like doing that anymore. Now he gets up and goes. Now I'm up at like... I'll wake up at like 8.30 and I'm out of bed by 9.30. I like that. You still do an hour. Do you understand how mad people are going to be on this podcast? People who wake up at 6.30 and they're in the shower by 6.31 and they're out the door

by 6.40. Don't get me wrong. I'll pound Pud once, watch an episode of Seinfeld 2 probably, and then fuck her out on my phone. You're not tired of laying down yet, though. No, I would wake up. I would lay in bed for four hours. Sun starts going down.

You're like, all right, here we go. Time to start the day. I got to start the day. Chipotle. Here we go. Yeah, I'm basically,

I'm basically at 830, 845, wake up, 930, 945, out of bed. It's basically where I'm at nowadays. I think that's pretty good.

I know, but you know, like, how many people are gonna hate that that work shitty job that work hard oh yeah people jobs it's always your setting children like i had real said something the other day that um i got a decent amount of feedback on where you were like you said something about starting the day at 10 30 but like you want it oh it was the other day you said something like you said like i haven't been late to anything in a while and i was like are we being honest about that and you were like yeah no dude i've been waking up early i'm up at like 9 30 yeah and 9 30 on a bad day and the amount of people who were like that's as early as it gets yeah but the people who get mad about that shit are so weird like yeah we have different jobs yes i don't know what to tell you like we have different jobs if

my job called for me to get up earlier, I'd either have a different job or quit that job. Your job. I would probably do that, knowing I have a safety net of my parents and privilege. If I didn't have that safety net, yeah, I'd be a loser. Oh, yeah. That's about as hard as a nail gets hit on the head, right?

Oh, that safety net I have? Yeah, I can quit any job at any time. I'm never going to be homeless. We've had that argument before. I've made two guarantees in my life, I think. One, I'll never die in a tornado. Because if I saw a tornado coming, I would just... That's bad, dude.

No, dude. I'll just move. My goal in life is now to get him dead by a tornado. I'll just move. Somehow, somewhere. Just get out of the way. Like, I'll just... Yeah, you're not holding it down in the house.

Yeah, I'm not... Like, I'll just leave. But those things can drop out of nowhere, dude. Yeah, but dudes... Chances are, I know. The people that get killed by tornadoes are... I'm not going anywhere. Yeah, I was born here.

I'm going to die here. It's not quite like hurricanes but yeah it's like you're from Mobile a Fujita 5 just happened to drop in I'll just get in the car

and I'll leave okay yes but like let's say you're sitting in your house doing what you usually do and the

news is like I'll also never go somewhere to where I was's going to be bad. Just to be clear. Yeah, that's the real thing. Would you evacuate your house? If they said, like, a storm's coming tomorrow, there might be some tornadoes.

I think if you live in New York long enough, that's coming. In the next five years, they're going to be like, yo, this is an actual real hurricane. New York's fucked. Yeah, an actual real hurricane I mean we were yeah we were I mean Sandy was close

as you said I think a real one's like an actual category whatever yeah no yeah we're eventually this is going to be the worst place ever

to live man hopefully it's pretty damn close already and then we're just going to add like tornadoes and hurricanes I wish the comedy cellar was somewhere else

that's where I would go. Like a different state? Yeah. Put it in Harrisburg. No, you see, that's fucking funny that you say that exact town. Harrisburg's perfect.

No tornadoes. No hurricanes. Just great people. Just soft to the air. Harrisburg's got to be the worst. That's where I'm from. Harrisburg rules. I know.

But to claim it's like the number one spot in the country. You're going to live somewhere nice? Harrisburg's got to be the worst. That's where I'm from. I know. Harrisburg rules. I know. But to claim it's like the number one spot in the country. You're going to live somewhere nice? Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. During the pandemic when people were like, cities are dead. Everyone's flocking out. And the city I would always use as a reference is like, yeah, we're going to move to Harrisburg and go to Applebee's. What a funny joke.

By the way, if you go to Harrisburg and go to Applebee's, you're going to have the night of your life. You're going to get wrecked. And everyone's going to be like, yo. The waitresses will look like me. I mean, Harrisburg's probably a city, right? The waitresses will be like, get fucked up. Dude, I can't go to Applebee's. I've been banned from Applebee's for life.

Fuck Applebee's. Chili's for life. Well, they're all the same. Top 99 is king. That's just Chili's for life. Well, they're all the same. Top 99 is king. That's just you guys, though. But yeah, actually, your band, Applebee's, too, happened with us. What happened? We were just drinking.

Really? Just a couple of boys having a couple of beers? So we went to the Toboggan Championship. You know how hard that is? No, that's the thing. It's not. It's really not. They have a rule, because they have an eye in the sky camera and they have a rule you just can't have more than

like six drinks but we went there true well yeah i mean i'm sure plenty of people break the rule but technically that was their rule we went uh we needed to kill like eight hours basically so we were waiting to do the toboggan we needed to like work on our on the website for the day we ordered one of every single appetizer and we just started drinking so we weren't even like drunk we had like we were being pretty responsible and we were like can i have another drink and they were like no because you've had we had a couple but it wasn't like we had six we had six drinks and then they're like there's no one round no no no over the course like seven hours yeah so it was like a drinking hour, but they were like, you're not allowed to have more than six.

I don't like you guys be smirching in a nice chain. I don't like being fucking banned from it. Banned for life? And they said, for life. You're banned for life. Oh, because you know what it was? We left, changed our clothes, and came back like, we're different. You're not banned for life. No, of course. Don't get me wrong. We can go back in. But technically, somewhere on a piece of paper

it says, you know, we're not allowed to walk in. You know what I'm most bummed about is the Penn Station. I think it was the TGI Fridays. Yes. That was like the spot. Oh, what a nice one. What a nice little basement bar, you know? Just get wrecked in there. Stuck in a train station.

The homeless guy comes up. He's like, what the fuck? Bro, I've missed many a train. Rose's Pizza, TGI Fridays. I was like, you know what? We're kind of kicking in here man like pour me up another whiskey

yeah like whatever my destination is it's not gonna be as fun as this song five minutes till the train comes I'll eat one more can I close out

dude I miss the train taking a shit I thought New York to Philly to Harrisburg I was like nice we stopped in Philly

I was like this is a nice rest. I can take a shit. Train just left. I got done. Train's gone. There's no TDR Fridays, which is what you want. I did that.

I got, I got, um. That's not a good story. No, it is. It's a great story. I was taking a bus home. I was in college. Tell them I'm selling stories now. That's a good story.

Alright, sorry. It's going to be a good dinner. I'm going to tell my girlfriend and her fucking sisters, they're dumb bitches. Who's paying for this? I'll be hammered. Who do you think's paying for this? Be hammered. Who do you think's paying for this? Stupid fucks. Is it going to be a nice place, you know?

No, no chance. It's in the story. It can't be nice. It's in the story. It'll be fine. No, the story's got nice restaurants. The story's got great food, but it's not going to be like a high end. But no, okay, okay, I see.

I've never been to dinner in a restaurant, but I hear it. I'm going to be able to wear a sweatsuit and be handy. Everybody thinks I'm just a fucking Russian. I could see you in a tracksuit. Tracksuits and Russian. If you walk in like, hello, I could see you full-blown Russian. I lived in Madrid for a little while, and when I was there, no one thought I was American.

People would speak English in front of me. Oh, that's cool. They were like, this guy stinks. I'd be like, I'm from Pennsylvania. Holy shit, we thought you were Serbian. I get it. Why'd you live in Madrid? I taught English.

What? Damn, I'm fucked up. Are you going to be a teacher? Was that the plan originally? Yeah, for a minute. It was. And then I taught English in Madrid. Oh, you know what we should have offered?

Good Christ. We should have offered him the Boss Hog. Yeah, we were a little late on that one. We should have given you that Boss Hog. Yeah, they were a little late on that one. A little too late for that. I'm not doing a shot of it. We should have given you that off the top of the front. How long were you in Madrid for? Six months.

You like it? I loved Madrid. I can't wait to go back. It just so happened that I wasn't... I never had money until COVID. Now I can go back. So I'm going to go back. I recommend the planet Hollywood there.

In Madrid? Yeah, dude. I was like 13 when I went. I went with my grandfather. Dude, I went with my grandfather and my two aunts, and my grandfather would always dress to the nines everywhere we went. And so we'd take a cab together, and my aunts would take a cab together. And every time we got out of the cab, my aunts would be like,

what was yours? And I'd be like, it was like 40 euros. And they'd be like, yeah, ours was like nine. But I would insist. I think I was like 12 or 13. And I would insist on dinner every night at the plant. I would go to Atletico Madrid games. It was the year they won La Liga.

And I would go by myself, blackout. Blackout. How old were you? Fall down. It was after college. I was like 24. And I remember one time this couple was like, can you take a picture of us?

I was like, yeah. Oh, no. Just fell down the stairs. Just fell. Hard as, like, 20 steps. I got it. They were like, dude, you have to leave. Were they Spanish or American?

The people that asked me to do the picture, I think they're Korean. Korean. I wish they were just, like, regular. If I had to specify my Asian. If they were, like, American they were if they were like American people they'd probably put it all together and be like

we had Shane Gillis take a picture of us once and he fell down on a flight of stairs that was the best part about Atletico everybody went to Real Madrid

all the tourists went to Real Madrid you're with them fuckers gamers I was teaching the local kids first game

halftime everybody takes out a bocadillo nice ham sandwich literally the entire stadium halftime, everybody takes out a bocadillo, a nice ham sandwich. Literally the entire stadium, halftime. Perfect. Ham sandwich. I was like, this is my world.

We just did a segment of the podcast of best sports traditions ever. Ham sandwich at halftime is amazing. Sack of wine, ham sandwich. Everybody's smoking. They're like, you're three rows up. They're like, you want a drink? You're like, yeah. They're like Amazing You're three rows up They're like You want a drink? You're like yeah

They're like Squeeze it No way Incredible That is We gotta go to the bunion And here's the wildest thing Atletico Madrid's

Fan section Is like Native American That's like their whole M.O. So that everybody's wearing Cleveland starter jackets Braves oh really

Florida State like all that because Real Madrid's like the fascist team so they're like the Vikings yeah yeah yeah Atletico Madrid's

like the we're the natives we're the hard worker like they they fucking so first night I was there a dude's walking in a Cleveland

Cleveland Indians and I'm like you're from Cleveland and the guy's like no I don't know. All right, whatever. Did you ever go do a bullfight while you were there? I didn't go to a bullfight.

I wanted to. It was fucked. You know what's funny? Everybody from Spain was talking shit on America's gun violence. Thanks, Sandy. And they were like, oh, you guys have guns. I was like, yeah, 20 people died from bulls this year.

Shut up. Your country stinks. The second I leave America, I'm like, America's the best ever. Bro, I was at a bullfight with my grandfather and my two aunts, and they're fucking just stabbing the table. Stabbing it, dude.

Stabbing, stabbing, stabbing, stabbing. That's so fucked, man. To the point where he's so slowly walking around the fucking pen. Yeah, it's not that impressive. And he becomes incontinent. So he's pissing and shitting everywhere. And even my grandfather, who's in war, was like, all right, this is fucked.

Let's get out of this. Hey, anybody want to watch a bull slowly die? No, fuck it. Yo, look at our guy Wahlberg with the ashes today. That's a heavy dose of ashes. Wahlberg loves the ashes. He loves it, bro. That's not a little shoom.

That's like, you got it. Me and my girlfriend just watched Ted, and she cried. I was like, yo, you're dumb as shit. I can't believe how dumb you are. Let's end on that note. That's perfect. Yeah, I'm done, dude. All right, this interview with Jason Clark is brought to you by Barstool Wood.

Shane, what do you use to clean your body? Oh, wood. You heard it here. No, but wood. Use wood. Toss it over here, Pabs. What do we got here? This is the shampoo conditioner for the golden hour.

So, Shane. You shampoo and conditioner at the same time. That's how you know it's good. Two for one. Everybody knows that's the highest. I'm high class. You would do it. Yeah.

Grab some more down there. We got some shaving cream. We've got some body wash. We've got everything you need in the bathroom. It's brought to you by Barstool Sports now, man. Everything's under 15 bucks. I live with a dumb lady, so my whole shower is filled with bottles and shit. Just foo-foo girly shit, right?

Not this hand of a bottle. This stuff's made for guys by guys. Look at this. Smooth brandy and Madagascar vanilla. You ain't getting that from your girl. God, it makes me sick thinking about all the guys out there getting Madagascar shit. I don't have it. You gotta have it.

Go to getwood.com. W-O-U-L-D. Do you suffer from erectile dysfunction? I do. I know I do. And that's okay. It's okay. That's what guys do.

We don't get hard, and we use Barstool Wood. Yeah, well, that's pretty good. Go to getwood.com, or it's going to be eventually rolled out in over 9,000 different CVSs, so you can get it at the store as well. Or just go to getwood.com. Everything under $15, get it all delivered to your house. Jason Clarke is arguably our best interview ever. I was downright giddy the entire time.

What the fuck? It was... Well, you had an interview, bro. You don't count. Feidelberg, straight up, would have fucked Jason Clarke. Do you know who Jason Clarke is? No. You would know him by sight.

He was in Planet of the Apes. He was in Brotherhood. You would for sure know his... Dude, you know Jason Clarke. He's a... He's in Zero Dark Thirty. You know Zero Dark Thirty. You would for sure know his... You know Jason Clarke. He's a... Zero Dark Thirty. You know Zero Dark Thirty. Bro, I'm not kidding you. I forgot I Googled O'Connor. Oh, that guy rules.

He's on the podcast today. Let me ask you a question, though. He rules, but would you suck his dick? Because Feidelberg absolutely would. Yo, the whole time... Everything he said, Feitz, was giggling. I was pretty girly about it. I don't care.

Has that been edited yet? Can somebody like punch in every time Feidelberg giggles? Is there a camera on? I'm obsessed with the guy. I don't care. Because he was, I mean, Jason Clarke was like, you know, someone from Australia, and he was like... I was like, oh man, no way.

That's crazy. People from Australia, you gotta be kidding me. Yeah, he way. Shut up. Yo, that's crazy. People from Australia, you got to be kidding me. Yeah, he ruled in Zero Dawn. Yo, he rules in everything he does. There's a couple times where I'll be, like, pumped on American, like, pure imperialism. You know what I mean? And it's just him torturing dudes.

Shit rules. I support torture now. Dude, he drops a line where he's like He's talking to you Yeah he's like I'm not your fucking friend No he's talking to Jessica Chastain And he's like He's like you don't want to be

The one left holding the dog leash He's like they're getting He's like things are cleaning up Over here Get back stateside You don't want to be The one left holding the dog leash I was like oh buddy

Yeah I saw you on Seth Meyers Last night I saw how well dressed you were I was worried You look sharp as hell I was like fuck I know he's gonna think

we look like slums oh dude you know sometimes it is funny when people come from there to here it's like they send over

they send over clothes for you it's not you know what I mean oh you didn't pick that out yourself well they give you choices but they send them over

you know to the hotel which was nice oh alright we don't do that I didn't know that that's a little look behind the curtain.

So they'd just be like, A, B, C, pick your... Nobody dresses themselves in this. Interesting. You run through the mall, not even The Rock dresses himself. You think he's kind of picking that out? No. That's bullshit, by the way. Some of these guys that I think are like fashionistas

are just like putting on whatever they tell them to. Yeah, they do styles. No, no, no. Interesting. Good to know. Good, no, no. Interesting. Good to know. Good to know, man. The Rock might look like he dresses himself sometimes. He was on the red carpet the other day in three separate shades of red.

No. No, the Rock's not dressed anymore. When you're just hanging out, not on camera, not doing anything, what's your kind of look? Like are you just like a – Jeans and t-shirt. Jeans and t-shirt? Alright, how about this? When you wrap up the day, whatever it is you're doing, do you change into sweatpants at your

house, or do you stay in your jeans? No, no, no, no. That's my guy. Wait, do you stay in the jeans? No. Well, no, I'm dressed, you know, I'm keeping it tight with the wife, man. You have to, you gotta keep the fire burning. You can keep the fire burning in sweatpants, man. No, you can't, dude, man. You have to. You've got to keep the fire burning. You can keep the fire burning in sweatpants, man.

No, you can't. No, you can't. You want to go and see what the postman's doing, hombre? Get out of those sweatpants, mate. When I go home to Australia, it's budgie smugglers. You know, the speedos. I only get one. Budgie smugglers. You know, the speedos. Budgie smugglers.

I like that one. I've never even heard that one before. Have you? No. Budgie smugglers is a new one. I love, I feel like there's some slang, like Australian slang that I don't know. You know, even like English, British, Irish, you know, I know some of that, but all the way across the world, you guys are saying some shit I've never even heard of.

We had a couple of prime ministers that were famous for getting around their budgie smugglers. You know what I mean? It takes something to stand there like that. Yeah, I mean, to just let it out. And you smuggle it, you know what I mean? I can't even imagine a prime minister doing that.

Oh, right. Flop out. It's a vote getter. It is. Can you imagine some of the guys we've had running this country recently in fucking Speedos? We're going to talk about the state of the economy in the Ukraine. Hang on. Here comes the prime minister out of the surf right now.

Listen, mate. When I was growing up, I went to the same beach as my principal in elementary school. Where'd you grow up? I grew up in Fall River, Massachusetts. And it was, you know, they say you've seen a teacher out of context. It's always weird to a child. And my principal wore budgie smugglers. So I'd be at the beach being like, is that Mr. Kelly?

What the hell is going on? That seems like a legal or something. Dude, you gotta come up with some respect for that. You can't be working with kids and wearing that around town. Come on, you come out of the Atlantic in October? You know what I mean? September, October in the smugglers? It's like, damn.

That's where he gets respect. I'm like, he's just like me. It's not much to smuggle when it's that cold out there. I've swum up in Massachusetts. I did Chappaquiddick and we shot in December up there I had to go out

at 2am in the morning off the coast there in the dark and it was so cold in December that is that's yeah

I've done the polar plunges out there on the vineyard I've done them on my life at job but that's like boom boom right how long are you in there

I was out there for a while because you're sitting out there and it's like don't worry Jason's a doctor it's like 2am you, right? How long are you in there? I was out there for a while, dude. Yeah. Because you're sitting out there, and it's like, don't worry, Jason, it's like 2 a.m., you're just coming from another show. It's like, come on, let's – because I'm wearing what Ted was swimming in, you know, what he was wearing that night. So I've got, you know, the loafers on and the cargo pants and the polo. Shit.

And it's just like, come on, let's just run it. We're running out of time, and we're going to wrap. Get out there. There's a diver out there somewhere. I'm not fucking kidding, dude. And it's December. You know the water temperature then. What do you want to do? You want to do it? You're ready? I think we're ready. Yeah, you just head

on out. And it's just fucking pitch dark, dude. That's dangerous. No, it is dangerous. And the diver's out there and I hear him and I get out there and it's dark. And it's like, come on, they're still setting up on the beach. I was like, you know, where are you?

Doug, Doug. Oh, mate, I'm over here. And I couldn't see him for shit. He's ages away. And I'm treading water out there in the dark waiting for the signal. Is that the signal? I don't know, mate. My radio's on.

I don't know. I was like, we're out. It was a fucking debacle. How long are you in the water for, total? What a wall. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Is that the most dangerous thing you've done on set before? I mean, I imagine Everest had some crazy shit.

They do some crazy stuff. But I've got to say, in the dark water. That's creepy. And there was that website where somebody sent me those things where they're tracking the sharks. They're tracking the sharks, yeah. It's a joke and you see there's a couple of pings out there you know when there's nobody around

the guy with the divers with me I'm over here mate I'm trying to get a shot it's black dog they can't see you get over here I would imagine filming for winning time in sunny LA is a little bit better than that. We had a really cool time on this shoot. I mean, you don't get a chance to have that much fun on a set of this size and scale.

There were four hair trailers with wigs. Oh, man, it was wig central. No, no, it really was though. I mean, the hair in that era is. No, the hair was good, wasn't it? It was awesome. I think I had four wigs in the end, you know what I mean? And that comb over and the thing that he had.

Yeah, there's a specific scene in the trailer where you see Jerry Buss like combing the comb over. Yeah, Jerry Buss was another great one with Chick Hearn dying his hair. But like, you know, men go, I mean, I've got to say, men really go to town on the hair over and it's like, oh yeah. It's like a chick hern dyeing his hair. But like, you know, men go, I mean, I've got to say,

men really go to town on the hair and getting it right. And the sensitivity to the bald patches and stuff like that. I mean, men in the hair trailer

are fucking great. And you learn very on to just have a laugh about it, you know, until you get some hair in a can. Oh, they get the spray.

Oh, damn, man, yeah, yeah, just keep going with that baby keep going

you know what I mean make a whole you hope it's in the budget yeah give it a thick I remember doing

there's another film where I had to go in the water in the another river you know the Mississippi in November

and my stunt double did one thing where a boat had to kind of try and run me over and I remember seeing it dude

you've got a bald patch at the back there, guys. Can we do something about it? I don't know what you're thinking of that. Yeah, there's a bald patch at the top. He's like, fucking no way, hombre. That really is, I mean, for guys, it's the hair, man. When the hair starts going, it's.

Yeah, they were big in their hair and the men. They really were. And even in the, have you guys seen some of it? No. No, we've seen it in the trailer. Well, where do you see it? I mean, the dress, you know, the loafers, the men. They really were. And even in the, have you guys seen some of it? No. No, we've seen the trailer. Well, where do you see it? I mean, the dress, you know, the loafers, the leather. That era was so cool.

The gold. Yeah. There was a pride about really stepping it out. Yeah. And, you know, there's a whole sequence where I think, who was it? One of the basketball players are doing like dodgy movies or a bad, you know, got a premiere and they all get dressed up. They go to their tailor in L.A.

Get the threads on. Come on, country boy. He takes magic down and gets him dressed up. The coats, everything. They went big. There was no sweatpants, man. I feel like that era right now is being particularly glamorized. Maybe it's in my own head projection,

but I was just in Vegas, and I went out to Old Vegas, and we were at the Golden Nugget and I was like this is cool this is like men were men dressed like ladies where the sets wobbled

wobbling it's a pretty fascinating time you know even like when we said that it's like you know now

you know in soccer you've got countries buying football teams you know I mean so I think it was Rodney that made a thing you know back in soccer, you've got countries buying football teams. Yeah, yeah. I mean, so I think it was Rodney that made a thing. You know, back in those days, it was a used car salesman buying a sports team. You know what I mean?

That's crazy. Jerry Busker. And now, I mean, you know, the amount of money that is in sports and the amount of branding and schmickness and everything that's gone on. Yeah. And, you know, and players dominating trades and telling what's going on. I mean, it's become,'s become sports entertainment at this point. You've become like a movie star.

Well, he bought that in, yeah. When you have lifelong owners, it's like he bought this team for like $235,000 back in whatever, and now it's worth like $3 billion. It is truly staggering how much of an enterprise it's become. And that era, there's a lot it's become and that's what's like that era is is there's a lot of that dress and that style but those guys like the showtime lakers were yeah doing it they were flashing they were they were as as like an australian guy did you did you did you watch basketball did you have any yeah so like did did this mean anything to you like as a i mean obviously

as an actor you want to do, but like you didn't know about the magic in Showtime Lakers? Yeah. Well, not to that level. You knew of it, you know, Bird and Magic and all that. Right. But you just didn't know that. I mean, it was tape delayed.

Right. That's what's crazy. Crazy. To like, to think that those were the guys, it's not that long ago that we're like, this has to be live because we got to see these guys. You know, and Jerry West and Elgin Baylor getting in the back of a pickup truck and going around and saying, come and watch us play. Free tickets, you know, and stuff like that. And you go.

And then. It comes down to people that make it in the end, don't it? I mean, these individuals made the LA Lakers. Yeah. They made the NBA. Like, I mean, they turned. They did. I mean, that's one thing we do show And it gives respect to what

Just what Magic Particularly You know did for basketball Right I mean yeah they were tape delayed And you know begging for fans And within you know 10 years You've got Jordan

And everything You know it's like Overnight it became like the biggest force In all sports Yeah He gave a lot That whole thing I mean they all come along.

Even, you know, he revived Kareem's career or Kareem's love to play. Right. This dude with a big smile came in and changed Jerry. Now, that was a lot of the on-the-court stuff. How much do they dive into the off-the-court shenanigans? A lot. There's only so much you can do on the court. Because it is based on Jeff Perlman's book, is that correct?

Based on Jeff Perlman's book. Because he goes all in with the sex parties and the orgies. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. I don't think, look, the whole world's going to look through its own, you know, fractured eyeglass of how we view history now, and that's going on everywhere, going back all the way, you know, way back in history. And that's going to happen, but I don't see the need to judge people just through your own understanding of the world.

I mean, the 80s is looked at a lot as comedy and fashion or this and all that. But these people changed a lot. You go back and you read, you know, Russell, you know, I mean, I don't mind blank, Bill Russell's book, his friendship with Red Auerbach. You go back and you read Kareem's book with his friendship with John Wooden, you know, I mean, I don't mind blank. Bill Russell's book, his friendship with Red Auerbach. You go back and you read Kareem's book with his friendship with John Wooden. You know, and they changed a lot. They really did. Not just sports and money and entertainment and all that,

but like their contribution to where we are and where we're headed is immense. Sure. And they've all gone on to be, I mean, Kareem's one of the greatest writers now of our, you know, the film business and thinkers. And, you know, Jerry's gone on one of the greatest writers now of our, you know, the film business and thinkers and you know, Jerry's gone on to have a deeper love of basketball now, not just as somebody to make money, but he gives back his relationship

with Kobe and a lot of, you know, mentorship and he's moved on to different teams now. You know, he's learned to love being the logo in a way, not the figurative name. Having the nickname The Logo is pretty fucking awesome. It really is. I've had guys occasionally call it out

Yo Logo so when you so again getting that role you were aware of Jerry Weston who he was at that point

did you dive in once you got the role did you yeah it was like the first I mean I knew who he was

but it's when my agent rang up and just said my god they want you to play The Logo, they want you to play the logo, dude. They want you to play the logo. He was a basketball nutter. Yeah, he really was.

And I went down and I sat with Max, who wrote it. And he talks about Jerry's book and where Jerry's coming from. And his autobiography is great. If you haven't read it, West by West is a great read. He narrates it with his son as well. And so they read it really well. And it examines of why Jerry just taking a look at himself in retrospect of why he is and why he was the way he was and why for a long time basketball was everything in terms of taking him out and making him and giving him everything. But it also tormented him and why it drove him nuts. And then you start to go into

what it's like to be an athlete and then your relationship with your children and the things that sacrifice, you give up or you don't realize you're giving up or that you don't do properly or you need to win. I think that's very cool that you admit that you really weren't a fan or weren't knowledgeable

and now it's clear you're exceptionally knowledgeable. I feel like a lot of actors will be like, oh yeah, ever since I was a kid, I was a huge fan. No, I didn't know much, but I took it very seriously and I've learned a lot about it. Yeah, dude, it's a great story. And it's the period as you come into the 70s and the 80s. I went back into Jerry in the 60s and stuff like that.

But you learn the progression. I love soccer. I'm a big soccer fan. And soccer was a gift to a lot of the world, particularly, you know, Latin America, Brazil and Argentina. You just go and you see these kids in Africa as well. And I think basketball is America's sporting gift to the world. Yeah. And you do – I didn't realize the change between the leather ball in the 50s, you know, where it was played in a hard court and the ball was, you know, it was expensive, to when it became plastic and like anybody could pick it up and play it and bounce it anywhere.

And then you see now it's everywhere. You go into any sports ground anywhere in the world. Well, that's the beauty of basketball is that you don't have to have $500 of equipment. You don't have to rent out rink time at 4 a.m. Anybody that's got a rim and a backboard and something to dribble on, you can play. Just some hard dirt. Yeah. Right.

Not even pavement. People playing in the fucking farms. Yeah. And then you watch it, because I went to the Lakers the other night with John C. Reilly and I went, and we sat down courtside. And you're so close to the players there.

It's a freakish event. I mean, you're never not that close to the players. And you see their athleticism. You know, and I've been, like some of the guys I went to get ready, I played, even I trained with the basketball team to begin with, just to kind of get into some shape.

And some of these guys, they're ex-professional players. They'd come charging down the court, just like, oh! Yeah, man. Dude, sitting courtside. Oh, they were great. When you see guys who are 6, 7, 8, 9, now like 10, who can move, jump. Exploding, exploding. It's like this is not supposed to happen.

It looks like you're watching a movie, but it's right there in real time. It's right there in front of you. It's crazy, yeah. The other thing that kind of struck me is like, because I go to big games in Europe, in England. I go and watch Arsenal play. Oh, you're an Arsenal guy. Yeah, I'm a big Arsenal fan.

And then, but here, it's like theatre relating to the fans. You know, LeBron's talking around. They're talking to the fans. Yeah, they're right there. And I was really struck by how well behaved on the whole it is. I mean, you go to a football game in Australia or in England, it's rough. Thank God the players can't hear you, what's going on.

But here, it's actually, yes, there's a few moments of this, but on the whole, everyone's here is really well behaved. The NBA had the malice at the Palace. Are you familiar with that? The malice at the Palace. The malice at the Palace. In Detroit, their arena was called the Palace. The Malice at the Palace. In Detroit,

their arena was called the Palace at Auburn Hills, and there was one time where somebody threw something off the court and it hit a player, Ron Artesi, jumped in the stands. Oh yeah, you know, I remember that. That was a big deal. Guys got suspended for entire seasons. And I'm sure, because of suspensions and that, it kind of stays in order.

But for the most part, it's kind of shocking that shit doesn't happen every night. Because there are assholes, and they're drunk, and they're losing money on bets, and I'm surprised it doesn't happen every night. Yeah, people are pretty well behaved. Well, you know what I think it is? It's like, players are probably like,

I'm not gonna go in the stands because I'm gonna lose millions. And fans eventually are like, I don't want that 6'9 freak of an athlete specimen man coming at me. So I'm just going to shut my fucking mouth now. No, I didn't do it. But just because there was one ball that came through. I thought, oh, damn, it's going to break my nose. You know, LeBron just grabbed it right in front of me.

And you go, oh, okay. It's quite unique, though. It really is yeah so so I feel like my favorite of your work which is

you know you got a deep resume but I feel like Brotherhood is a very like the fans of Brotherhood are a

you know we wanted more of that we loved that where is that like how do you feel about that part of your career

because i think it's a weird it's everything yeah i mean that was my first job here really yeah that was that was you know that changed my life interesting um on every single level i remember what year was that that was 2002 or three it was like i was i remember i because i'm from fall river which is the in the Providence area. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know Rhode Island. Give me a hammer. Give me a hammer.

Give me a hammer. So I'm like 15 minutes from Providence, and I remember my uncle sitting me down as like a kid. In 2002, I was probably 13, and he's like, this is the show. I remember watching him being like, this is awesome, but you should not have me watching this. My mom would be mad if she knew you had me watching this. But Tommy Caffey, I feel like, was almost the first Tommy Shelby.

It's kind of like the badass fucking guy running the show. Well, and I love that he wasn't Italian. I was so sick of the Italian mob movies, and the Sopranos was so big I never really cared for that but Brotherhood was like alright the mix are doing it now it was a great show and it was based on more or less the Bolt

yeah yeah yeah absolutely and we couldn't shoot it in Boston for a whole bunch of years and look Rhode Island was a bit I love Rhode Island dude I made so many good friendships there it's a fascinating did you film in Providence

we shot in Providence yeah all over Rhode Island you know the state were amazing to us actually you know what I've been re-watching recently and I feel like I almost saw

like Providence Place Mall kind of like a reference to that we shot everywhere dude there you know and then I used to go down to

like Newport and Little Compton I loved it down there oh that's where my parents live now oh man I almost bought aport and Little Compton. I loved it down there. Oh, that's where my parents live now. Oh, man. I almost bought a farm on Little Compton. I regret not doing it. No shit.

Clearly. Where's home for you now? LA, and then I have a French wife, so we live in Paris, and then Australia, and we travel around. Look at you. Oh, dude. You're doing well, Jason. No, if you get out of here.

I eat baguettes in the morning. Okay. Too bad you didn't get that farm in Little Compton. Instead, I live at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Dude,

maybe it's time to get out of the sweatpants. Huh? Fuck you, Clark. Fuck you. Yeah, I mean, by the way, it's like,

when you're buying farms and you've got the Parisian mansion and you live in Australia, I think you probably put the sweatpants on. I don't think your wife's going to be old. I think you're either good. I think you're fucking fine. Yeah, the budgie smugglers.

Break it up. Get the smugglers out. But it's a fascinating part of America, you know? I mean, the legislature was part-time, you know? But you know what I mean? They've all got jobs. So you drive around and they're having to deal with, you know, the state is so small and so intimate.

And, I mean, I just, I mean, they were so good to us. We had such a good time. There's still stuff shooting there. You go up and you look at the mansions, the tennis up there at Newport. Yeah. You know, the cinema, the summertime when it breaks out. Did some shooting clays there this weekend, in fact.

Huh? I did some sporting clays there this weekend. Oh, did you? Did you really? Well, technically. I mean, I technically was sporting clays there this weekend, in fact. I did some sporting clays there this weekend. Did you? Did you really? Well, technically. I mean, I technically was sporting clays. I hit zero things. It's fun, though, that, isn't it?

It was really fun. I was really bad at it. And then you start to find that rhythm. I've done it, too. I've done it in New Zealand the last time. I was going to say, I feel like talking to you and having seen you and knowing where you're from, I feel like you can do all that. I'm talking to a man right now.

No, I feel like you throw knives and chop wood and fucking all that kind of shit. My dad was a sheep shooter. I grew up in the country. We had to kill our own animals. Do you have to kill your own animals? Way back in the day, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I don't know why in my head i'm picturing you fighting the animal like like you have to beat it in a fist fight

i imagine you used weapons yes yeah they give you a knife yeah it was like a knife dude i was taking a gun no oh shut the chicken's head off right yes i And it's like, bah! Yes. I mean, have you done it? No. No. No, brother. No. No, like we said, we're talking to a man.

We're not. Well, I don't know about that. I was, you know, I don't know, it wasn't much, but the blood kind of freaked me out. But like, yeah,

it was a very, you know, it's just one of those things. It's like, okay, you know, we're eating it, your turn. Yeah.

Yeesh. You're on straws like Armageddon at the end. Now I've got to pluck it? Come on, man. When did you leave to live in L.A.? Just about a year before Brotherhood. I came over to L.A. then.

I did a film called Rabbit Proof Fence in Australia with Philip Noyce. About three Aboriginal girls that were taken away from their families and then walked all the way home in Western Australia. One of those changing movies that just you know I met a great Hollywood director

that was Australian and just thought you know what yeah so did you go to LA like on a whim like I'm gonna make it or did you know

like was the ball already rolling well kind of rolling but no yeah you go it's like it's do or die right you know you don't

realize and then you land Brotherhood it's a pretty good you know but interestingly enough when I found out, because when I went for my final callback for Brotherhood, I got lost in the car park because I was so pumped.

I'm nervous that day when I parked my car. An 89 Ford Thunderbird, by the way. With only one door that worked. I couldn't remember. So I was sitting there for like 45 minutes trying to find my car, you know, walking up and down. You're just nervous because, you know, you've finished the whole networks there.

And I'm off playing back to Australia, broke, waiting for my next tax return. And so by the time I got in the car, you know, you're winding down. You're thinking, I could have done this better. I'm driving along. And then finally, oh, shit, better turn my phone on. And I had one of those, you know, those disposable $30 phones I'd bought from 9-11.

And there's like 30 messages. Don't leave the building. Come back. We want you. What? Don't leave. I mean, I'm down, you know, whatever. And I was so emotional.

I just pulled over into a fucking liquor parking lot, bought myself a Corona, bought myself a packet of American Spirit lights. I didn't really smoke. I sat in my car and drank my Corona in the car park, just realizing, you know, because I knew they had the job. Realising how close to the abyss I was. It wasn't that I was thinking

I was pumped or whatever. No, it was just like Holy shit. You don't want to admit to yourself how bad it really was until that moment. You know, that you really have put everything on the line. Coronas and a pack of American spirits. That's fucking awesome.

Yeah, and then after I'd finished, I think, two coronas and two cigarettes, I made a call and said, so, have I got the job? Wow. Yeah, yeah. That is cool. So did that feel like, were you like, I've made it? Thinking like, or was that still, like, what was the moment in your career where you're like, all right, I'm established, I know what I'm doing,

I've got it down? You never really do. No. It's a bit like you guys you feel like this is the roof somebody could turn off the power yeah but sorry guys i feel that every day because what we do is we just talk and if if people just stop taking interest in what my opinions are i'm fucked yeah but i feel like you know you've got a talent you have a resume you have proven yourself you've done big you know When you're doing Planet of the Apes types of movies, when you're doing big things like that, you've made it. I mean, yeah. I feel like now I'm going to get a job no matter what happens. Right.

I can go and do something or other. And for a long time you don't. You guys know what it's like. It's a very shared experience. Even for the sports athletes, you feel like it can all just end. Or you're only as good as your last job, literally. And all these things are cliches, but they are true. You've got to keep performing.

You have to keep delivering your content. You also increasingly need a sense of independence, don't you, so that you're not reliant, as we all are, on our money coming in from other people and places. That's why I do love with stuff like this. I was listening to another guy called Sam Harris. I don't even listen to him. I just like the independence that he has now

that is through his subscribers, that he's not, he can't just be canceled all of a sudden one day or sacked. Because he's built that. When you have an audience that will follow you, when your audience is bigger than the mob, you can't be canceled and you can't lose your job or whatever. Because it just, it's always there. And canceling the fact that financially than the mob, you can't be cancelled. And you can't lose your job or whatever because it just – Yeah, and canceling the fact is like financially, you know, you can't pay your bill. Right, right, right.

But, yeah, it's always there once you've established it and you have that subscriber base. It hopefully lets you build a better version of yourself and your content, doesn't it? To really express yourself and find that market out there. It definitely does. You know, I mean, I had jumps then towards, say, when Zero Dark Thirty then came in, you know, and Catherine Bigelow and the excitement of that. At that point, every time you think you get, oh, man, I've made it.

I thought when I was doing Terminator we're going to go and do two and three, you know, straight after. Yeah, right, right, right. Oh, mum, I can finally buy you a house. Maybe not. Maybe not. We're $40 million short of going again. This didn't pay that much.

I feel like life has always kept me – fate has always kept me honest in a way, that you have to keep at the level which you're not becoming you're not becoming too lazy or too thing, you know. Can't get complacent. Yeah, too complacent. But all the same, unlike Jerry, you can't keep beating yourself up as well for selling. You know, Jerry had to learn to love basketball and learn to love himself and his place in it instead of just being, you know,

just so upset that he'd never won against Bill or that he wasn't doing his best or that if I'm not trying to, you know, compete, compete, compete, you know. Because I went courtside the other night and I'm watching the players hug each other before the game or give some slaps. I'm thinking, Jerry West hates that shit. I'd listen to him on, you know, the soji, just talk about how he can't stand that, you know. Really?

Swapping a jersey after a game. Really? He's like that much of a competitor? Yeah. Yeah. I saw the clip you had where you were upset about losing to the Boston Irish, which I found offensive, but whatever. You found offensive.

And it was unbelievable, but I could see that Jerry West was like, I can still smell the halitosis. The halitosis, yeah. That's great. I know, but the other one, because we particularly picked that for the Boston people that we know that. You know what I mean? Because you see them rush in the court, and they are up there, you know? They the other one, because we particularly picked that for the Boston people that wouldn't know that. You know what I mean?

Because you see them rush in the court and they are up there, you know? They're in his face, man. You know, and there's a couple of pictures of him walking off the court, man. And the thing that really struck me, I've started boxing in the last two years. Oh, yeah? You know, in the last, say, 30 seconds of a round. No, not like I'm an actor, dude. It's like, you know, the guy knows not to hit me.

Dude, no punching in the head. Just the moneymaker. Come on. Don't go there. But in the last 30 seconds, it really hurts, and you can get really hurt. And the thing for Jerry in those losses, one of the games that I've watched,

it comes down to the clock at the end. And some of those games were so tight. And that's what I show is called winning time. It's that last couple of minutes. That's the time Magic said, that's it. It's all on the line now. You know? And it's great when it comes off when it loses, man.

I mean, you've given every shred of your being. Deflated. And you've just been beaten. And Bill Russell, you know, people don't, I don't think they understand just quite it was like to be beaten by Bill Russell. Over and over and over again. It was a great team, you know? Yeah. But Bill Russell, man, the dude didn't lose. Yeah.

Right. That's kind of what we talk about. He did not lose. For more New England stuff, like the Patriots. If it wasn't for Tom Brady, Peyton Manning was great. Peyton Manning should be the greatest of all time. But Tom Brady was in the way. There was one guy a little bit better right there.

You know, I was there for when they first won. For the first one ever? Back in 01? Back in 01? Back in 01, we were shooting. No, the year when they had the first, you know, when you've won, you kick off the game as the champions. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we're just down the river, down the road.

I was going to say, because that must have been when Brotherhood was going on. That's awesome. It was. Whatever, I guess. Now, we were going through your IMDB before you came in here two things that came up one, I think you can make a legitimate argument you're my favorite actor of all time

I was very nervous with you coming in your catalog is so up this guy's alley we're rattling through Everest and White House Down White House Down, one of my favorite death scenes unfortunately it was you but we're turning it all into things and White House Down and da da da da da da. White House Down, one of my favourite death scenes. Unfortunately, it was you, but I had a death scene

with Channing and I in the thing. Oh my God. You know, we shot that, we shot that in the winter in Montreal and we shot it in a studio

at night time. Even though, that was one of the craziest shoots we've ever done. We're in a studio but we're still shooting at night in the winter time and in that rain.

Yeah. So once they turn those taps on for eight hours, you're not getting out of it. It's just on. The water's there and you're sitting there

in a tent in a studio trying to keep warm. For eight hours? For longer, like how long a shoot day is. Which one?

Is that or Chappaquiddick? You've had a lot of run-ins with water, man. It's hard to live with. I mean, Ch mean that typically it's like four days in ted's life and it was pretty intense yeah just like yeah once that comes down and yeah that's not an easy you know life to but no just what he went through yeah yeah and you know it was and that's not not to say he's good bad or whatever whichever side you want to come down to it was you know. Distressful. Yeah, yeah.

It wasn't a walk in the park. That fight scene with Channing, we got hurt on that. I was going to say, you take a kick in the ribs in that one. Maybe you give a kick in the ribs. He cracked two of my ribs. Yeah, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I accidentally hit him with a chair that wasn't a prop chair.

You know, it was crazy. It's a hardcore match. Well, it was one of those crazy times. And, you know, you're so busy. People forget that, like, things go wrong often. You know, I think Watson and Jamie got stabbed by a pen that didn't retract. You know, and I picked up in the rain or whatever, somebody had misplaced the chair, or I picked up the wrong chair.

And as I'm picking it up and about to bring it down, I'm thinking, this is a bit heavier than it should be. You know, it's terrible. And you just killed it off. And you did it anyway. Well, because the rain's coming down. You can't hear. And a reset is a long set.

You know, and everyone just wants to keep going. It's like, I remember we're shooting that scene on the roof. And I had to lift up where he charges me onto the shoulder. You know, I've got the rocket launcher. You know, on the roof of the wife – I mean, there's some of these. I'm lifting up – you know, I said, I'm going to give you a nice open thing. I lift it up.

You just come in there and hit me there and take me in. But don't worry. You do that and take care of me and I'll take care of myself. Give you a nice openness. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's training for a wrestling movie. You know, between scenes. Comes in and hit me so hard.

He cracked into my room, banged me into the shoulder. And I'm like, oh, he's twisting me around. movie between scenes comes and hit me so hard he cracked him and banged me into things and caught his shoulder and then he's twisting me around

I'm just like oh you can see me in the pain we're still shooting he's like okay okay

just keep shooting you can't stop I love it man we're getting the sign to

wrap up with you but I wish we could have it for another 45 minutes. This has been an absolute blast. Thank you so much. Good to talk to you guys. Let me ask you this real quick. Do you think people are usually surprised

when they find out you are Australian? Yeah, they are. I feel like you're one of the top guys of like, I was like, oh, shit. I thought you were American. You do the accent well, bro. You pull it off. Thanks.

I love it. I actually really love it. And I think a lot of American actors don't get into it enough because they don't have to. Right. And there's off. Thanks. I love it. I actually really love it. And I think a lot of American actors don't get into it enough because they don't have to. And there's so many dialects in this country. They're wonderful. Jerry's dialect is the beginning of how you understand

who that man is and how he came from nothing. And basketball was everything to him to the point that it almost destroyed him. And then he learned to love it. March 6th, waiting time. It's my birthday. It's your birthday!

I'll be watching on the 6th. Thank you so much. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.