KFC Radio - Jerry O'Connell, Taylor Swift's folklore, Magic Mushrooms, and Aliens Exist

Episode Date: July 28, 2020

Subscribe, rate, and leave a review. -In a surprise return of adolescent vs dadolescent, Feits' shares his experience with mushrooms -The Marlins thought they could rub some dirt on Corona -Top 5 Tuesday: Gifs -Feits discusses his favorite parts of Taylor Swift's new album "folklore" -Voicemails include: endurance or speed, pyramid schemes, hidden talents, and a great life hack (01:31:53) Jerry O'Connell returns to the show! We discuss his upcoming movie based on the book The Secret, getting to sip champagne with Mariah Carey, growing up as a fencer, and much more. Let us know what you think on twitter: @Kfcradio @KFCBarstool @FeitsBarstool @MrJerryOC Catch daily videos on our youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/KFCradioYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Alright, another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. It's been a little while since we've done, like, an adolescent-to-adolescent, because our lives just melded into one and everyone became, like, just a homebody and it was a shitshow. But I must say, I think this weekend there was a stark discrepancy between your behavior and mine very stark i'm trying do you know what i did this weekend i don't know either it was so uneventful and so i just like hung out with my kids and uh

i didn't even like watch anything i don't know what i did i. I don't know what I did. I can't tell you one. Dude, you know what? Okay, this is what happened. This is the only thing I can remember from my weekend. There was a video on the Barstool Sports, like the main Barstool account, Instagram and Twitter, of this dude. The frame starts. It's just like a beautiful tropical scene in the water. And all of a sudden, a jet ski comes into picture.

And he's like whipping a donut he's like fishtailing out and his smoking hot girlfriend is like sitting on top of the handlebars facing him and she's pouring like a high noon into his mouth and it's slow motion and he's like smoke show booze falling into his mouth and i was like there are people who that's their life like that's their life that's what they do like that guy made that video today because he was just out on a jet ski with a super hot girl with fucking uh booze and was like yeah let's fucking make a viral video right now and and now i'm not just saying because i'm washed up now or because we're in quarantine i'm just saying i never did that stuff like the most I've ever done is go to a bar.

The most I could ever say is like, that fucking, we drank too much at that bar last night. That's it. I don't got any videos. I don't got any stories. It's just like, yeah, it's just like I watched sports and I like yelled about the Mets. I went to a bar.

I did a couple spring break trips when I was like too young though. I never did one when I was like a little bit older when I should have. The honeymoon was good. That was good travel. But other than that, I haven't done that. We're going to take you on vacation. Yeah, I got to get the fuck out of here. I do. So, but that was my

only eventful moment from the weekend was me seeing something that triggered how uneventful all my weekends are. But you, you had an eventful one. I took mushrooms. Mark it a milestone. Mushrooms is a big one.

It's a big one to check off the list. Yeah, well, I've done mushrooms before mushrooms before Oh I thought you had never done it No I've done them once before Second time is still a big deal It was a big deal So first of all we had a party This weekend My parents just bought a new house

We had a welcome party It was a blast We had a lot of fun So much fun that I am Imp impossibly sore from playing beer pong which is like i'll tell you something it takes a lot for someone to talk about uh a lack of physical fitness that gets me going whoa because i'm always going yeah i feel you dude like oh yeah you went bowling and you were sore i know how that goes john couldn't walk from beer pong. I still can't. He's walking around on his heels like a weirdo.

It makes sense because when you shoot, you're like that. I get it. You go up on your tiptoes. And I played for like. First of all, not everybody does that though. Oh, I do. Yeah. You're a calfs guy.

But I played for like six hours on Saturday. You're just doing calf raises. A million calf raises. It does make sense why they're so sore. But it is bad. Legit, I'm hobbling around. You are limping everywhere you go. Once I get going, I can

walk regularly, but when I first get up from the seat, it's a process. It's like a slow moving train. We gotta get this. Inertia. We gotta get over the gravity. Did you see my foot when the fucking shampoo bottle fell on it? Yeah, that was gross. I mean, I've got some deep problems.

It was a heavy-ass bottle. It was one of those Costco-sized bottles. But I was like, this shouldn't be. I got to start taking iron or some shit. That's not a good sign at all. But the mushrooms were awesome. Mushrooms were... Did you take them like I feel like

a lot of people like micro-dosed when they first do it or the first couple times or was this like full dose oh I did like a full hand yeah it was

did you go like peanut butter sandwich or anything you just went straight caps to the fucking face no I actually don't think they taste bad the first time I took them I was warned

I was like they taste awful well they just probably taste like mushrooms I was like I don't even like I don't like mushrooms but like

potent mushrooms I guess I do like this is the thing it's the very reason I don't like I mean like mushrooms. I don't like mushrooms. Yeah. But like potent mushrooms, I guess I do like. Well, this is the thing. It's the very reason I don't like. I mean like regular mushrooms I don't like. I don't like coffee, but I'll drink espresso martinis. Right. When said substance gets you fucked up, your bar drastically shifts. I really don't like any of the alcohol I drink, but I drink it for a reason.

So I don't want to just sit there and eat mushrooms as a snack. But if it's going to take me on a psychedelic trip, well, then my taste bud level changes a little bit. The first time I had them, I just had one. I had a stem, which I believe. Those are not as powerful, right? It's been told to me. That's a body high. The caps are the head high.

Okay. This time I took a handful of both. And we were at lunch the next day. This is the best. This is the best fucking one of the best fucking, one of the best tidbits of a tripping story you'll ever hear. I love this. I was like, yeah, it sucks.

We were warned going into it that they were a little old. That's why I had a fistful. So I was like, yeah, it sucks they didn't really work last night. And everyone at the table just kind of stopped and looked at me and they were like, John, you were calling us into the middle of a field to stare up at the sky and admire the galaxy.

And I was like, oh, yeah. Never mind. They worked. That was hard. Yeah. I was in the middle of a field looking up. And it was like their new house is in the middle of like it's in like a country town. So it's like they're on city lights.

Right. So you're seeing stars. And it was like I was just standing there looking up, and I could see stars. And I could see, this is crazy, I could see the globe. I could see the bends of the earth. And I could see, it was almost like it was broken down. You know in the globe where things get attached? Yeah, like the bands.

I could see that on the earth as i was looking up and it was beautiful this is amazing this is i mean this is exactly why people take mushrooms it's the exact thing you're looking for it was awesome so when you're like that you don't realize like like it i in my mind i've never done it i don't i don't i don't think i said this before i don't think i'm in the right headspace right now for psychedelic drugs i I feel like I'm the guy who would never come out of his high and just cry. But I feel like I would be like, oh, my God, I can see the bands of the universe. But that's because of my mushrooms. I'm the only one who sees that.

That's not real. Or you don't even realize it. I didn't realize it. I don't know. I can't speak for other people. I was also drunk. So that's a good combo for you to just be like, guys, this is crazy. Can you guys seriously look at the purples and the blues and the blacks?

It is weird. It's the one thing that like, uh, you can kind of always basically always say that like the one constant that kind of grounds you is that like reality is reality. Like what you see is what I see. Right. I mean, I guess if, if you're talking to like a mentally ill person, maybe not is reality like what you see is what i see right i

mean i guess if if you're talking like a mentally ill person maybe not but like you know this this fucking table is wood and brown and when you're on mushrooms you'd be like it's purple and it's floating like i know and it's like we you can't even like connect at all to not seeing the same thing that's true that's a good observation because it is like yeah like i i am living in a different reality right now right you can't have a conversation about like, hey man, do you see that? No, I don't. You do, I don't. No man, I see us inside a globe in a CEO's office.

That's how I'm living my life right now. That is wild. And is there like a hangover? Do you like come down from that? I don't know. I was hungover anyway. I don't think there's a hangover. I was a little hungover. I mean, Casey's out there. She can't even eat. was hungover anyway. I don't think there's a hangover. I was a little hungover. I mean, Casey's out there. She can't even eat.

No, no, I'm not saying, like, her stomach. She physically, her hand is shaking with the fork. She's like, uh, like an old woman trying to put soup in her mouth. Because it's a hungover? Yeah. But this is the best. I love people. Girls never just admit when they're hungover.

She's like, I'm not hungover. I'm just, like, not feeling well because we drank too much. What the fuck? Yeah, man. That's quite the trip, literally. I got to get my mind right and get in the right setting. We'll go on vacation and take mushrooms. Yeah.

Yeah. That needs to happen. That needs. I saw this dude I follow on Twitter who I think is always talking about Bitcoin and shit. Let me get his name. Yeah, I think it's him. Hang on, I quote you. I'll just look at my own feed.

This shit was, I was like, co-motherfucking sign on this one. No, do you know this guy, Payman Benz? Comedy director, producer. I don't know, he's just like a Twitter guy. Oh, I saw this, okay. And he tweeted, all podcasters should be

required to go to therapy and he meant it because you get this huge platform and you have a lot of like blind followers and you're kind of unchecked you can say whatever the fuck you want and and and keep spewing things that are wrong or things that are unhealthy so he meant it from the fans like safety point of view i meant it from the fans like safety point of view. I meant it from the podcast point of view, like for that very reason that you're not unchecked. You're very much checked by a lot of fucking people. Yeah, but I'm exclusively checked. Yeah, like all the time.

I can't say anything without being checked. So I think everybody could benefit from podcast mandatory therapy. I mean, did you see the Joe Rogan thing that took over? I don't even know if this is related to that or not, but Joe Rogan went off. I don't want to say went off. I didn't listen to the segment. I listened to the clip. And everyone says if you listen to the full segment, it makes more sense.

But he was like, I got a big problem with video games, man. Video games are like trash. You're wasting your time. You're wasting your time. You're wasting your brain. And he said that it's better served to go learn a martial art and open up a gym and train professionally martial arts, jiu-jitsu. And in the clip, Hank had retweeted it. In the clip, he 100% describes a Twitch channel with subscribers. He's like, so you get some talent and you get some, you get some followers who like think this guy's legit.

And like, you can monetize that and turn that into something when you open up. It's like, yeah, that's what they're doing on the fucking internet here. So there was a big debate on the internet about, uh, you know,

what's a better thing to dedicate your time to video games and talking about making money, uh, video games or like jujitsu. And I thought it was fucking crazy to insinuate that it's like easier. People are like, it's easier to train at martial arts and open up like a dojo. And I mean, how much like people who own dojos,

how are you living? Well, that's what I'm like. Are you rich? I think this is a little like somebody tweeted me. Like he said, he's like, dude, on every corner in California, there there's a dojo there's a mixed

martial arts house of some sort i'm like okay but is that a good thing or a bad thing right i mean you know can you make can you charge like a thousand dollars of fucking membership or like 10 because there's people you know options all over and i would assume i don't know enough about fucking either of these fields really but i definitely don't know about about fucking either of these fields really, but I definitely don't know about like, do you, I would imagine you have to be somewhat of an expert to be a trained, uh, fucking sensei to do a trainer.

I would imagine you need a black belt, right? And at least be in like good enough shape to fake it. And so like right off the bat, that gets rid of like 70% of Americans. Like if I wanted much higher than 90 right 99 the amount of people that can get into that shape even if even if you don't have to be perfect but enough to fake it so that people would go like oh shit look at that guy he looks like he knows what he's

doing i'll listen to him it's it's a it's a non-starter like you have to know what you're doing right because you can't just teach something like oh i've been a few bar fights i'll teach an mma class right that's you know can tell, like, that guy's faking it, and this guy, like, knows what he's doing. And that, there's a million, jillion Americans who, like, well, I cannot even get off the couch to go on the treadmill, let alone become a fucking dojo master.

Whereas, and then the other thing is, you don't have enough fucking money to open a gym. That's a ridiculous, like, instead of video games, train martial train for 10 years yeah and then and somehow open up a gym somehow the nest egg the capital i'm yeah i might have all the money but i can't achieve that like level or i can achieve it but i don't necessarily have like hundreds of thousands of dollars to lease it to get a mortgage on a gym uh it's and

then i also the other side of the coin is like how many people are really making money off video games you know i'm not talking about becoming ninja but i'm talking about like you know you get a few thousand subscribers you get yourself a promo code for a company and five years to be a black belt but that's again you know like the best that can make it you know what i mean right yeah it's not just five years. It's five years and an exceptional amount of talent. Right. So an average person, seven, ten.

It's like that's... Class twice a week. Whereas I think you need to have... I mean, no shade, but look at Smitty. He just has a personality. He's not even fucking good at the games. If you can afford a console and an internet connection, you can start. Now, it doesn't mean you're going to make money or become a superstar, but you can do it.

Whereas, like, there's a couple barriers of entry for MMA training that is, like, it's a non-starter. Now, there's no barriers of entry for video games, so that means you have a ton of competition. But, again, you can do it. It's much like blogging. It's like, you know, you can just start, and only the best will get to the top. But you can make some cash. You can make – and the main thing to me is like i think in like five years this take will look ridiculous you know like i'll bet on the thing that is growing exponentially on the internet as opposed to the fighting training like i mean that's eventually going the way of the

dinosaur you know what i mean i don't i mean i think mma is obviously going to continue to increase in popularity but it's just but even the idea of like having a fucking you know look at peloton like eventually you're gonna have a fucking hologram that like he's gonna teach you your training or some shit um but what's funny is people dug up clips joe rogan used to be obsessed with quake he had like a t90 like a thing routed into his house for like enough like fast enough internet like back in the day and there's a clip of him being like fucking video games are awesome dude it's like the way of the future you can play them until you're eight because his friend was like if you're 40 and up you can't play video games and he like staunchly defended it

so i mean times change and also they say if you listen to the full clip he like he you know he makes it it's a better uh discussion but the clip that's out there is just like if you play video games, you're a loser. You should go become an MMA expert sensei. Like fucking nuts. But yeah, all the takes we spit out here, it's like – I mean we're pretty clear about it. We're always like do – don't actually listen to us. And if you look at our lifestyle, why would anybody ever listen to us? But there's probably a lot of people out there that are like we do what their favorite podcast says and that's fucking scary well yeah i think joe rogan's one of them absolutely

last this morning i almost called you to not come in for the interview and i was gonna do it from home because i couldn't find my keys and they were in my door so all night so so yeah don't listen to me in my door to my apartment in like just a hallway that people walk by all the time. Wait, so that means you went away for the weekend and came back? Oh, okay. I thought they were in there the whole weekend. And I know why, too, because I came in and I was carrying mail that I had to put down. So my mind was on something else and I forgot about those.

Can't multitask. There was something slightly different about my usual routine, and it completely threw everything off. I love it. By the way, while we're standing here, Nick, you told us this morning that, oh, yeah, you're not getting off the hook. I bet you thought you were. Hang on.

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See if they have it in stock. Go check out Owens or Barstool for your transfusion mix. So yeah, these two guys sharing their Mushrooms war story. And Nick was saying, I'm jealous of you. Like you're out in a field. You're looking up at the beautiful stars. I wish I had that experience. And Fights said, well, what is it?

What happened when you did mushrooms? So when I first did mushrooms, I was just – I also was just shit-faced. And my neighbor came over, this Polish girl who was a rocket. And just like – Where are you and how old are you at this point? I was 22, and this is like post-family out of college. I didn't have a job. I had one about to start. And, yeah, I just remember I was shit-faced.

And she comes over. We had like a little bonfire set up, and she just whips out a bag of mushrooms. I'm like, oh yeah, I'll go do it with these complete strangers next door. And you had never done it? I'd never done it before. I mean, the hot girls.

Classic, classic hot girl. Like I'll put anything in my body. That could have been heroin. You would have done it. So I go over and I'm like with her friends doing mushrooms, like not thinking they're working, taking more and more and more. Oh, no. And I remember at one point I tried to do a flip because I used to do gymnastics.

So I'm like, oh, let's see if I can do this. Couldn't. Crashed very hard on the floor. Didn't feel it. And then I remember we started walking around, and we go. They're like, we got to go to our friend's house. We go to their friend's house. I don't know how.

We're in someone's bedroom. They're like, no, the stairs are over here. We get chased out of that house. I don't even think that was. Wrong place? Yeah, I think it was the wrong place completely. And they're like, oh, no, that was just Tony. I'm like, I don't think so.

He seemed pretty mad. But, yeah, the part that you guys, the job that I had to go to the next morning was I was the Easter Bunny. Nick goes, yeah, the first time I did mushrooms, I had to wake up and be the Easter Bunny the next day. What? So, again, like I hadn't had a job for a little while and I had to pay rent. So I was very stoned, actually, when I saw that pop up on Craigslist. And I was just like, my roommates are like, you got to apply. You got to apply.

And this lady called me within like 30 minutes. Yeah, sure. It's like she had one response on Craigslist. Well, it was me and this Mexican woman, Alma. She left halfway through, though. What, it was me and this Mexican woman, Alma. She left halfway through, though. What did it pay? It was like, I think it was like 700 bucks for the week. And so at the time, like, my rent utilities was like $500.

Yeah. So I was like, yeah, sure, why not? Yeah, that's not bad. But that morning, showing up, still fucked up. Like, I smelled of alcohol and it was in like the mall that it was in was this like dead mall in the middle of iowa that just like most depressing story i've ever heard it was just old people that walked around to get their exercise there oh my god i'll never forget i fucking i can't stand uh the first frozen song because it just played non-stop yeah the entire time and i do remember at one point like this is this is my rock bottom because i

burped in that fucking helmet oh no and i was like i'm like puking here right now and then i gotta i gotta get like my boss, this lady who took the pictures. I'm like, I'm gonna have to explain that one. I mean, you're bad Santa. You're bad Bunny. This is literally the stereotype about where am I taking my kids? I'm gonna put my kids on this fucking guy's lap. You were that guy.

When you showed up, they were like, okay, he's gonna be good at this because you reaped the alcohol. You showed up. It's a prerequisite. Ready to go. Like, all right, I'm gonna play with some kids today. This is gonna be fun. They'd be like, all showed up. It's a prerequisite. Right, like ready to go. Like, all right, I'm going to play with some kids today. This is going to be fun. They'll be like, all right, this kid's a pervert.

It's either that or it's like he's going to get a new job in like a week. Like we're going to have to find another one of you because this guy's got bigger aspirations. This fellow right here, he's in it for the long haul of Easter season. He's sober this morning. Oh, he's going to be a shooting star in this world. The best part was they told me that day when i got there they're like okay and uh just before you get your paycheck uh you're gonna have to go take a drug test and i'm like oh mama were they fucking with you no they were dead serious so

like i mean i was stoned when i got the job the week before like i was like all right so i just had to like i had to keep pushing it off right no got school, even though I wasn't in school at the time. And they were aware of that. I just kept bullshitting. So I pushed it off a full month, then went in, took the piss test. He pushed it off a full month? Yeah. I mean, that's how you can tell.

They probably were like, this kid actually fucking thinks he has to take the piss test. It was probably like a joke. Yeah, I'm not even going to test it. This weirdo sits in the back of the mall and drinks it. I would actually bet that they tell you that to try to keep you sober. Like, listen, he's going to come fucked up every day. We'll just tell him that you've got to have a drug test

and we'll let him keep pushing it off. He'll stay sober for a while. He says he's going to be done. I'll never forget. That was an Easter 2 that was on 420. Oh, Jesus. So, like, all my friends were, like, Easter season will be done I'll never forget That was Easter 2 That was on 420 Oh Jesus So like All my friends were like

Getting fucking ripped stone Like making devil eggs And shit Yeah yeah yeah It was a I've had a weird life For a while Yeah

I mean Nick's got a lot of We're gonna have to do like Nick's story time Weren't you in the circus Or something Yeah Yeah Fell in a state

Tried that out for a couple weeks Crazy We'll have to spread him out I don't think I even do that Yeah He's been like an extra as an actor. He's done it all, man. Nicky the fucking Enigma.

It's crazy. Do you ever have kids piss on you or anything? No, but there's a video out there of me taking it very seriously where I'm sitting down, hopping. Oh, yeah. I mean, the one I went to Santa and Easter this year, I go to a pretty ritzy mall

up in the Westchester Mall in New York, and they were just like, they didn't give a fuck. And I remember being like, this would be so much easier if you just put in a little effort, dickhead. My kid is screaming, and you're just like, yeah, whatever, bitch. So I can't imagine what's happening in a desolate mall in Iowa.

I mean, I guess I can. Old people getting their fucking steps in. That's depressing. Going around. That's ugly. Right around. Because I imagine it was in the concourse. Just like wrapping around the concourse.

There's a conga line of people as a child cries in your lap. And you're hungover. Boy, oh boy. The fact that you didn't commit suicide is really impressive stuff. So, we've got Jerry O'Connell, good looking guy. A couple of sexy people on the show today. We'll do our top fives later. Top five best gifts of all time.

Of course, interviews, voicemails. But without being redundant on every baseball take that's under the sun, there's a funny thing going on right now on the Internet where we're all debating sports and the bubbles. I think there is a lot of people that think they're under a bubble. What do you mean? Like they're in a bubble. Like I think people think that they're in one of those like white bubbles.

Really? Well, I got a lot of people saying like how can you fit baseball stadiums under a bubble? Is it under a bubble? Yes. Like not understanding that it just means it's like an ecosystem that kind of exists. You all live in the hotel. You all go to the indoor courts. But I think there are people who believe that you're under a bubble like in the hotel. You all go to the indoor courts. But I think there are people

who believe that you're under a bubble, like in the Truman Show. Are they saying that because a baseball would be tough to do in a bubble because you need a lot of fields to play 15 games a day. Well, here's what I thought. This was my idea.

The three regions, East, West, Central. You do a bubble in between New York and Philly for the east. You have Citi Field, Yankee Stadium, Philly Stadium. Three stadiums. You can, you know, in Chicago, you have Cubs, White Sox, and the Brewers. And then the west coast, you have LA Angels, LA Dodgers. And then a little bit further away than on the east coast, you have like two hours away is San Diego. But those are like three regions.

You can get three stadiums if you do like a 1 o'clock, a 4 o'clock, like a 1 o'clock, 5 o'clock, and like a late game or some shit like that. Like it's going to be unorthodox. But I think you could squeeze in, you know, almost like three games a day in three stadiums in three regions. Sounds at least better than what they're doing. Like I don't know. There's going to be problems with everything.

But this is the shortened season. The bubble. I used to, like I picture it that way. Like, I jokingly think of them inside one of those, like, ice rink bubbles, you know? But I think there are people out there that think that, like, the entire NBA is underneath a dome. I had not noticed that. I hadn't picked up on that. I think you probably saw a little more of it because of your one-minute man today.

Yeah. But on regular, maybe dumb people in the comments and stuff, but regular i have not seen anyone yeah with uh in the bubble the idea they're under a full bubble like like a fucking like we created like a like like a dome remember that c that cvs series under the dome like all right let's get the big let's bring it in like our idea for doming yeah honestly didn't we say that earlier in coronavirus like doming would have been perfect here drop it in you guys can't get in or out. That was one of the ideas that we had in the barstool bullpen today, the SEC bubble.

Just invite. Your fans are allowed to come in to the SEC bubble, but you have to stay there for the season, and you just create a community, like a commune. That'd be pretty cool. And then you have people, like every walk of life, you do this profession you do this profession you like you just live in the bubble you'll be the the you'll be our chef you'll be our lawyer you'll be our doctor and it's just a communist society for for sec and then you charge people like us to watch a live stream of that

because it would be fucking that would be wild if you get those animals in there we were discussing all of the different professions do you think that sorry go ahead well it was just a very funny moment with rudy our rude boy we were talking about frank the tank we were all a little concerned with frank because frank had like a mets meltdown that makes me look like chipper and optimistic and uh and hubbs said like have we checked on tank is he alive and i was like you know boy it's i'm just happy he is alive this is just dangerous times right and and hubbs was like yeah you know, boy, I'm just happy he is alive. This is just dangerous times, right? And Hubs was like, yeah, but he just stays in his house all day. And I was like, I don't know.

Does he go to work? And someone said, what does Tank do for work? And we said, the courts. Are the courts even open? Because he works in a courthouse. And Rudy goes, the courts? Like tennis courts? And Fights just goes, do you think that Frank Fleming works at a tennis court, Rudy?

Could you imagine Tank just out there like a ball boy just scurrying around picking up balls, or he's out there working on his serve? Imagine if Frank had like a majestic serve, working like in all white head-to-toe short shorts with like a visor on just being like a tennis pro. Tank has, aside from the obvious reasons that he probably wouldn't be working at tennis courts,

he just has municipal employee written all over him. Government employee, for sure. I mean, you could not script a character like Tank. If you were like, all right, we've got to have the crazy neighbor. I mean, it's impossible. And he's not the crazy neighbor? Right. He's the normal neighbor.

When Frank goes, you've got to meet my crazy neighbor, Ray. I'm like, what? You are the crazy neighbor? Right. He's the normal neighbor. When Frank goes, you've got to meet my crazy neighbor, Ray. I'm like, what? You are the crazy neighbor. So, yeah, I mean, baseball, it's, I mean, it was over before it started. Do you think it's honestly going to be? I don't think it's going to end because of this. I think this is going to happen again with, like, another team. And I think it's going to add up.

Yeah. I think what's going to happen. I don't understand. I still don't really get it. First of all, it's fucking insane that the Marlins just tried to play through coronavirus. Like it was a hamstring. Like it was like, just like, yeah, we'll play there. Mattingly said they'd never considered not playing. I think Miguel Rojas is their shortstop.

He said that's not our mentality. Like, dude, it's not a hurt or injured situation. It's like you're going to get everyone sick. Well, that's not our mentality like dude it's not a her injured situation it's like you're gonna get everyone sick well that's what these guys i mean as always the main thing is that people don't realize you especially if you're not living inside the dome in the bubble like you're gonna go home to your wife and kids so if everyone said that about the nfl too because everyone's reaction was like oh football's fucked and people were like oh yeah sure the nfl they've had a long history of caring about their player safety and health and i get that point but and if it was just them football players are like gladiators they probably would sign up for it but if they're all going to go home you don't want to get your wife sick you don't want to get your kids sick you don't want to get the grandparents sick

so it's not just about the players there and i mean the world can't get that the like the general public doesn't understand it the players don't't understand it. It's not just you that you're getting sick. You dickheads. It's, it's, and especially right after Freddie Freeman, that shit from Freddie Freeman was scary. What was that?

He got, he got Corona. He had like 104 fever. And he said, he went to bed, like the main, the one, like the peak of it.

And he said, he went to bed being like, Lord, please don't take me tonight. Like he thought he was going to die. And it's fucking Freddie Freeman. It was a elite baseball player. So if you think you can't get sick from it rodriguez erod right now is on the on the ir he's already had covet and beat it now he has a coveted heart issue right yeah so it's like

and for me all it would take is one like if i was uh you know a star if i'm christian yellich right now i'd be like all right it's super unlikely but what if i'm just the third i don't want to be the third guy, you know? So, but I think what'll happen is there'll be some more bullshit like that where they didn't have the test results in time. But this one, they had it in time.

I know, which is crazy. It's crazy. It's up to the players whether or not they disclose it. And then, like, to not tell the Phillies? The Phillies are like, what the fuck, man? I know, I know. So that's what I was going to say. There's going to be a team that doesn't even have results who go out there unknowingly and spread it to, like, two teams. You know what I mean? And they'll be like, well, wait a minute.

We were supposed to get our results back. We didn't. We played two games in that time against two different teams. Now they have it. Like, I think they can kind of contain this one quick. And it's also, let's call it spade to spade. I think it matters that it's the Milans. Yeah, 100%.

If it was the Yankees, if it was the Dodgers, it'd be a lot different. It would seem like World Series aspirations because here's the deal. If you miss two weeks, you're missing like one-sixth of the season. Big time. And if you have any lingering effects or any of that shit, it's a problem. Two weeks without 14 of your players, the season's done. Yeah. Season's done.

Two weeks without players who are coaches, because it's not 14 players, it's 14 employees. And some are coaches. You're calling up coaches who have never coached at the MLB level? They said the taxi squad for the Marlins is single-A players and guys who don't have any major league experience at all. And then you run into, even if you're not worried about the safety, which should be the concern, but now we have cancellations, so you're not going to have the same amount of games played. And again, it doesn't matter for the Marlins, but maybe for the Phillies it does. There's still technically postponements.

Right, but if these all start stacking up and it's like eventually we're just not going to make them up. And then you're also playing absolute scrubs. It's like this isn't even real, so why risk it? Why even deal with it? I've had a hard time even getting into the MLB season so far. I haven't really tried. This was opening weekend. I was having a party on mushrooms.

It really wasn't an option this weekend. But I don't know. The no fans thing does matter to me. I watched. I don't think it does for me. I'm okay with it. I think I actually end up commenting on the cutouts and shit like that. It's almost just another thing to kind of discuss i think like the playoffs when it would really be

like when the bronx zoo and people are throwing beers and shit you're not gonna get any of that but i i the fake crowd noise kind of like is enough for me and um i mean it's not the same but i also thought it was passable but like we talked to faye vincent today uh old uh mlb commissioner he's like this is not like i don't even watch like it's not the game for me it feels like an exhibition that's exactly what he said he said i feel like i'm watching an exhibition and i haven't tried i haven't tried to watch i will watch tonight i didn't know the socks and mets are playing so it will be on tv here like i'm not going to get the mlb package this year right i'm not going to go by this so that dickhead

the rocket that little five foot three midget he got 10 tvs and 10 cable boxes with like all the packages to watch every single game now i'm i'm really praying there's no season just so he has a wall of 10 tvs and like in the middle he's just watching like new girl or some shit why does he have 10 he wanted to watch like every game it doesn't make any sense he wanted like he said he was gonna have like the Sox on the main TV, the Yankees on the secondary one, and then just every game worldwide, nationwide, on his wall. You just can't watch every game.

That's a physical impossibility. I think two, maybe three, you can get away with. Ten. Ten is insanity. Ten. I got ten TVs to say I have ten TVs. I got ten TVs to watch baseball. For TVs. I got ten TVs to watch baseball. But the whole thing

is just... I fucking forget his name. The Nationals manager. Rodriguez? What's his name? I forget. Anyway, the point of the story is he's like 68 years old and has a heart condition. And he was like... Davey.

Dave Martinez. Martinez. The, he was like, straight up, I'll be honest with you guys, I'm very scared. Yeah. Yeah. Like, that's fucked up to make someone go into work every day. Well, that's what people don't get where it's like, it's not just like your 98-year-old grandma. Like, dude's 68, a healthy guy, and a great, thriving, as a Major League World Series champion. Like, if he got sick, he'd be in the, he might die. Yeah, he'd guy and a great thriving as a Major League World Series champion.

If he got sick, he might die. Yeah, he'd be in a bad way. That's a problem. I don't think he can continue like this. Yeah, I think that baseball... Just the fucking baseball is just so insane to me. I think that they did check the box of trying. Canceling the season would have been bad for PR.

I think they did their part. If they turned around and said it's just too dangerous, no one's saying fuck baseball. I think they would be a lot more understanding if it was like, well, they tried. It didn't work. So be it. But also, your negative PR would be so awful for everything else.

For endangering people. Because you just dropped the ball on protocol. You just didn't do anything. I mean, it's nuts. You left it up to the players to decide if they can play? They don't do that in high school anymore. I know people, you know, they love the freedom and they love the Constitution and America

and all that shit. The bottom line is you cannot give people freedom and expect safety. You can't do it. Same thing with guns. Same thing with everything. Everything you allow people to use and do, they will fuck up and abuse and kill people with it. And this is the case where it's like if you let players play, they will. If you don't put them in a bubble, they'll go out.

They'll go to fucking Magic City. They'll go wherever. What is Magic City? It's a strip club, right? It's in Atlanta, isn't it? Yeah. So how was Lou Williams there? He was there.

He had a death in the family. So he was there. But I do think he hopped on the jet, flew home. I'm sure there was some sort of exemption, but then he was like, I had to have those wings. I mean, I think of this place as like a wing joint now more than a fucking titty bar. Really?

The amount of people who have come out and said it. It's like Johnny Manziel said it. Zah was talking about not at Magic City, but other strip clubs, like the best wings he's ever had. Really? I think that people come for the wings and come for the titties stay for the wings i mean it's it's i did not know it sounds like a person or two mentioned it but he also has a wing named after him at lou williams he has like the lou will lou will wings or some shit like that it's

like lemon pepper or some shit that's awesome i always thought having a sandwich named after you was king you have some wings named after you if you're a black guy you have wings named after you at magic city you are fucking king dude but everybody kendrick perkins was mad at lou williams but he started out by saying listen i've been to magic city the wings are fire johnny manziel says the best he's ever had a couple other athletes were all like yeah i get it man so i don't know that was that's unbelievable when he tried to say that that it wasn't a recent picture and that he was reminiscing about old times and he had a fucking coronavirus mask on in the picture. Wait, did he post it himself? Jack Harlow posted it.

Who's that? The rapper, you would know him from What's Poppin'. You know that song? What's poppin', bro? You would know it. He was there. He's like this white guy, too. it's a very odd couple but he's got a lot of street cred he's and he was there and uh i think he tried to play it off this is what i

would have said i would have said i was i was in atlanta i was i was home for family uh i went to get like my favorite wings like i go i'll pick up wings at rathbones on the way home whatever and like my boy was there and we took a picture I think that's the spin zone, rather than, uh, it didn't really happen. I think it was just like, yeah, I popped in and out to get the wings, I took a picture while I was on the way. Now I'm sure there's witnesses that said they were partying all night long, but at least there's some sort of spin zone.

Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, fuck it. Lou Will, legend. Between having the two girlfriends, and now the Magic City Wings story, he is a sports icon. Put him up on the Mount Rushmore. You want to do our top fives? All right, let's do it. Top fives.

I don't remember why I said this last week. The fireman. The fireman. It looks like he's jerking off. Oh, yeah, yeah. But why did I bring that up? I must have seen a funny gif or something like that. I don't remember exactly why.

I think it was during our last top five. Yeah, I exactly why. I think I was during our last top five. Yeah, I forget why. So either way, today, top five gifts of all time. It's brought to you by American Home Shield. If you're a homeowner, you got to have American Home Shield. Why? Because when a covered system or appliance breaks down, your budget won't. I'm talking about heating going out, refrigerators dying, plumbing issues.

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That's American Home Shield abbreviated AHS.com slash KFC. I'm telling you, man, if I was a homeownerowner if i ever have a home again i'm doing this because getting that uh getting that that expense out of nowhere is an absolute motherfucker so ahs.com slash kfc to save 50 bucks limitations and exclusions apply see plan for details that's fucking smoking time that was perfect down to a science baby well-oiled machine uh gifts are gifts are over 30 years old. Did you know that? Get out of here.

I saw an article that said in 2017, GIFs just turned 30. So they are now 30. That's not true. They're almost as old as I am. I don't believe it. I actually don't believe that. Where would you be using a GIF in the 80s? Yeah.

How would you be using it? What's on TV? Is it a moving picture of Hogwarts? Yeah. A talkie? Are we talking about the talkies here? So GIFs. I think that they are

one of the most important things ever invented on the internet. 100%. When you think about the prevalence of it and how many people can just casually toss a very funny GIF on there to make a funny tweet. And shout out to Hennezy, man. Hennezy had the idea. Hank had the idea for Giphy he called it like

the cloud or some shit right we call it the uh the database the database where he just said let's compile all your favorite gifts of all time where you can pull them up in an easy way that's literally exactly what giphy was and i remember i never thought it was a bad idea but i remember kind of laughing i don't like i don't i don't even understand how you would do this yeah and i think it does take an incredible amount of like storage and and logistics and shit that Hank couldn't pull off but Giphy did and it's like the most important thing that's ever happened to the internet so I mean they are fucking funny there's I mean there are gifts that I just laugh at every single goddamn time so top five gifts of all time this is how hard because like

we're undoubtedly going to exclude a bunch too by the way i mean it's just impossible to like yeah and we're also doing it off the rip we don't fucking plan i'm trying i'm trying to look them up now but the like um it's just like the most popular ones yeah but that's okay are but they're like they're like like you can go most useful you can go like just funniest you can go classic there's a lot of different metrics here for why you like a gif okay so you can go most useful, you can go, like, just funniest, you can go classic. There's a lot of different metrics here for why you like a gif. Okay, so you start. Go ahead. Well, the reason I brought this up is because the gif of the dude who's, like, a fireman

who is at a football game when they pull the American flag out across the field, and then they wiggle it to make it flap in the wind. And he was also ridiculous by the way. Oh boy. Watch out. I mean like there's a fact that we need a fucking, it's so good. Well,

like the fact that we need a fucking football sized American. I know. Can you imagine being like the, the company that's got to print that? It's like, Jesus Christ. It is also over the top with the pageantry. America!

See, like, I remember when I was at fucking the All-Star game in D.C. When it was like 40 minutes of pregame festivities. I'm like, America, America. I get we're in D.C. I know it's America's pastime. Let's play ball. A little American fatigue, for sure. And right now, it's like, we shouldn't be talking.

I actually, Nick just pulled it up. I remember it being a little more furious than that i thought he was really going to town so the gif is he's saluting with one hand and he's shaking the the flag with the other but the the hand is off camera so it looks like he's just jerking off while saluting and he's wearing his fucking uh like fireman outfit fireman suit uh what's it called and i mean that see that's one that like i don't i don't expect that just is the one that makes me laugh like the most when i see that because it's just like so perfect that a camera happened to cut it off he's saluting he's wearing the hat and it looks like he's just beating his dick furiously that to me is like perfect internet serendipity

that i'll laugh at every single time i don't think it's the most popular one of all time i don't expect anybody else you, a few people out there maybe. But my personal favorite one is just like the dude saluting jerking off. I'm going to kind of steal from you, but also maybe be inspired by you. Okay. Another jerking off one, the college football guy with the bell. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's in Texas Tech.

See, you know what I think I did? I think I conflated those because he's like going after it, right? So I pictured the guy. And he's got the long hair. He's like looking up. Yeah, that's what I did. I mixed it too because he's looking right at the screen like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there it is.

Pull that back up. He fucking hammers this thing. He goes head down and head up. He's looking at it. He's looking at you. Yeah, that's right he looks like a fucking weird al oh man that is such a good one that one doesn't even look like it's not because the camera cut it off it looks like his dick

could just be inside that thing he might actually be jerking off texas pack oh man i love it uh okay number two for me this is one of my most useful ones ever, and I think one of the most prevalent ones, the Alonzo morning thinking about it. Ah, great one. This is pretty shitty, but hey, we also got that. That's the most universal. That's the most versatile one where it's like if something has been shitty, there's a couple bad things happening,

but also there's a silver lining or some good effect and again perfect like you know the chances of a camera catching that moment slim to none and then it resurfaces on the internet probably like you know 20 years later and everyone has universally agreed if there's ever a kind of bad but kind of good situation you know here's what you do. It's so perfect. I'm going to do something unprecedented right here. I'm making a switch. Switch?

This is my number one. So your number one pick? Okay. Okay, this is my number one. That other one is my number two. Okay. So this is my number one. Very simple.

Very easy. Very obvious. I apologize to the good Lord for forgetting it at first. It's Tom Brady going, let's go. Yep. I mean, that's it. I mean, you're obviously you're partial. But again, these things are universal.

It's like that. Anybody who's ever been jacked up, pumped about it. I mean, it's it's so fucking good. Yeah, it's so it's it's warrior mentality. He's got the smoke coming out of his mouth. Yeah, it was. I forget what game that was, but it was like,

it was a big moment. It lives up to the... Why he said it, what he did. It's probably a playoff game. He probably came back and did what he always fucking does. Legend. Legend, peace.

Alright, my number three pick. This is one that always makes me laugh, because I don't really ever know how to find it. It's a little. Legend, peace. All right, my number three pick. This is one that always makes me laugh because I don't really ever know how to find it. It's a little bit racist. Okay. It is like the rap battle, like, I dunked on you meme where the kid. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The kids are sitting there like, and I'm always like, black kids excited. And I don't know what the fuck to search. just found it uh like what it actually was it was a uh a um in 2011 there was a internet rap

battle that was like a parody so it's like a joke uh yeah oh no i've seen the video super hot fire i didn't know any of this super hot fire beat b-bone in 2011 so i guess super hot fire would be what you search but the it's you know why because it's the perfect loop the kid the kid dropping off and coming back and i mean you know the internet is basically exclusively about making fun of people and dunking on them and proving your point right and it is the premier i'm right you're wrong i win this argument gif you know what's the best about gifs is is that like you can talk about them for days like i i you just said perfect loop that's gonna be my number three it is jack donaghy pouring yourself scotch yeah and it just keeps going just keep yeah it's an absolute that that

fits you very well too and it's just like yeah like a bad day like you know teams losing fucking whatever yeah it's something perfect it doesn't even look like it starts over it just it just losing fucking whatever. Yep. It's perfect. It doesn't even look like it starts over. It just stays like perfectly like that. And that, yeah, that it really is all about like, can you capture the,

the, you know, the, the emotion and that does, you know, like long day. Here you go. Um, I'm looking,

I just like zoned out. Cause I was mesmerized. Man, we're getting like, there's so many I'm realizing, and now we're getting down to our final picks here. I just zoned out because I was mesmerized by it. It is. Man, there's so many I'm realizing, and now we're getting down to our final picks here. I'll go with... See, I was going to go... I don't want to give you any ideas necessarily but I was gonna go with the this is fine dog but that almost doesn't need to be a gif that can be a picture there is a gif where

the flames are kind of going but uh it's it's not necessarily as a gif so in that case kind of capturing the same essence I still always fucking laugh at like uh at uh i still laugh at fire elmo because that is just so absurd that someone out there just had elmo next to hellfire being like yes this is my doing this is what i created i mean it is it is uh elmo on fire is is top notch for me. So I'll go with that. Okay. I'm going to do John Ralphio. The worst.

I used that more than anything. I can't believe I didn't do that. Shit. Very mad about that. This is one that I used before I even knew who Ben Schwartz was really. Before I ever knew about John Ralphio. That's the other thing. You don't even need to know where a gift comes from or who made it or what's

it from. You can just use it. Uh, yeah, that is excellent. My last pick favorite gifts ever. I'm going to go. I wish I had more than like a fun funnier one that jumps out at me.

But I think as far as usefulness, and as far as useful shot lad, Michael Jackson popcorn. Ah, a great one. Usually it goes hand in hand with here for the comments. So I think it's more of a commenter. Usually I get that in return. I don't use that. So I think it's more of a commenter. Like usually I get that in return. I don't use that.

But I think like when shit's about to go down, when it's about to get real, Michael Jackson popcorn. I kind of like the guy with that style of gift. I like the guy with the lawn chair more. Snaps it out. Yeah. Yeah. Those are.

Yeah. Those are the that is that is a genre of gift, though, for sure. Like shit's about to pop off and you're excited for it. That's in those – those are like the top two in that category. And my number five will have to be Larry David, comparable to Yorlanz of Morning where it's just like – it doesn't really know what side he's going to go on there. Great one.

Those are like – That's my favorite. That episode holds up so well. What episode is that? It's Palestinian Chicken. Yeah, I think I know that. And he's got the Jews on one side, Palestine on the other. They make such good chicken.

And he doesn't know which side he's going to go. It is. Oh, it's so good. That episode's so fucking funny. That's an all-timer. That's probably the best episode of Curb, right? It's one of my favorites for sure. When he

when Funkman walks in and listens to him fucking the Palestinian chick and her calling him like, fuck me, you Jew bastard, fuck me! And he comes down and he's like, Larry's like, look, I'm not Sandy Koufax or whatever

it is. So fucking funny man uh some of the other top gifts uh this is just like a vice article that i pulled up while trying to do a little research homer into the bushes a lot of them are just like very popular homer into the bushes and grandpa doing the loop. Grandpa Simpson walking in and walking out with something short-lived. Jay-Z nodding his head whenever there's a dope song. When he's got that nerdy glasses on. Millions of clapping memes. The slow clap when that guy in the black and white.

The rock is clapping. Or gets the applause. There's a lot of clapping. Oh, you know what I love is. Oh, how do you do fellas? Yeah, this is the same thing I'm looking at. And the blinking. Is that. I'm looking at. And the blinking... Is that...

I thought that... Who is the blinking guy? It's from like a video game stream or something like that. Oh. Yeah. Looks like Lane Kiffin. What was the... Ru Scanlon.

What was... Fuck, what was I just going to say? Oh, 50 in the car. When he pulls away. Yeah. When he drives away. I know people love the Tyra Banks. We were rooting for you.

We were all rooting for you. Donald Glover walking into the burning room. That's a good one for when everything's a fucking shit show. Oh, Donald Glover walking into the burning room was awesome. That was what I originally had in mind with the This Is Fine meme. I feel like the This Is Fine dog goes hand in hand with the Donald Glover fire just raining from the ceilings and shit. But listen, I mean, there is, this is going to be one where people, nobody's going to like anybody's list because there's just millions of them.

So whether it's the most useful, most prevalent, your personal favorite, the one that makes you laugh the most, whichever, let us know. Get at us with your top fives. And let's get into our voicemails for the day. What do we got, Nicky? God, I'm fucking cold, man. So cold in this office. There's new Viva hoodies in there if you want them.

Oh, yeah. We got new. Where else are they? In the store.barcelsports.com? Yeah, you go. Go to store.barcelsports.com. Go to the Viva section. We got new black and white quilted tie-dye.

We also got black and white quilted crop. Nick, can you get Shorty over here, the mannequin? What's her name? I'm going to call her like Mandy the mannequin. Right now, our mannequin is rocking. Do you want me to pull it over or can you get to it? I got it. She's rocking the cropped gray hoodie and the gray lounge pants from the

Barstool Indoors line. And they're riding low a little bit and a crop top showing their stomach. And I'm telling you right now, girls, you want to become my second ex wife. This is how you dress girl. I will fuck you. I will even date you.

If this is how you dress. I'm loving this look right here. Crop top with the, with the, uh, the lounge pants. Woo baby. Sign me up.

But yeah, we got the, uh, black and white tie dye., we got the black and white tie-dye. We also got the multicolored tie-dye. Matching pants for the girls. Matching booty shorts for the girls as well. We got a new Nick is Rockin' the new zip-up jacket. We got a new new

fucking rain jacket as well. So a whole new slew of shit from the Viva line as well as the multicolored shirt that we put out. So a lot of new shit to try on and get if you are a KFC radio listener and you like the Viva line. So store.barstoolesports.com Check out the

Viva tie-dye line and let's do our voicemails. What's up, Fight? KFC, BC, Nick, whoever's there. So I was listening to the podcast yesterday, and my jaw hit the floor when Fidelberg admitted how many times he jerked off. Insane. The day before. Insane.

14 to 16, in my mind, is outrageous. That's almost like once an hour if you account for eight hours of sleep. But it reminded me at the time that I once jerked off three times in one hour, which even impressed myself. So I was wondering what you guys thought was more impressive being able to do as many buttock burpees in one day or be able to go three times in one hour.

This is like, you know, like, insurance or... You are the... You are kind of like the Jamie Moyer of jerking off. Why is that? Like, longevity. Like, let's say that a day is a season, right?

I could do three in an hour, too. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure you could. I'm sure to get to ten, you gotta do three in an hour. I could probably rip three or four even if I got soft. After you cum, you can just keep rocking it? Not all the time, but yeah, I can.

I mean, I feel like you cum near my dick after I popped off, and it's like the wiggly. I never understood that. I never understood the meme. The when you nut, but she sucks. Yeah, yeah. She sucks at whatever it is. What's wrong?

Is your dick not, like, sensitive? I mean. the tips not sensitive after you come I mean you touch the tip of my dick after I come I will chop your hands off really yeah no not at all yeah like I don't like that shit homie don't play that I'm good stay

away that's that's a but what I was gonna say is like you know this kid has the hour. He has like the, he shined bright for like a small period of time. He was a, he burned hot, but he's like Rick Porcello. Rick Porcello won the Cy Young. He also, no season other than that, ever received Cy Young votes. Never finished in the rankings, the top rankings ever.

He's like the only guy in the last 40 years to have won it but also never received a vote ever he just had that one fucking season that kid had that one hour ripped off three you can do it, you can make it last for yeah I don't have a lot to brag about sexually but yeah I can just fucking

just keep on coming man it's easy, this shit's easy for me this shit's fucking easy they need to make that into a gif that should be a gif with the words easy this is easy for me this is fucking easy you need to make that into a gif that should be a gif with the words shit's easy for me it's probably already out there but needs to be used more speaking of this it's easy for me i'd be remiss if i i've on schnitt talk today talking about it for about two hours we didn't talk about it but i'd be remiss if i did not bring up t swift the absolute queen of the world yeah man Taylor Swift is unbelievable

unbelievable what an album folklore what an album I was doing the live grading of it and I was keeping track and it was Taylor Swift sold 1.3 million

in 24 hours. Really? Like sold? That's insanity. I mean, a million in a week back in the era where you used to have to buy CDs. I remember that being a thing. Like the main rappers would always do like a million in a week. And that was like, and like Usher did 2 million in a week with Confessions. confessions and by the way usher and chris brown versus that's gonna be fire yeah

it's kind of crazy that like chris brown is still really allowed to do stuff like that like when they get together it's like isn't rihanna like fuck you usher what the fuck man but whatever it's gonna be heaters left and right yeah usher is going to i mean people who don't understand how how big usher was a lot of the youths on the internet are like chris brown chris brown chris brown will put out bangers. He'll hold his own. He'll have his own slew of hits, but Usher is going to dominate him.

Folklore, though, was streamed 80.6 million times in the first 24 hours. That's a record for females. I don't think we should do that anymore, by the way. What? I'm going to put on my fucking sexist hat here. I don't think we should deline anymore, by the way. What? I'm going to put on my fucking sexist hat here. I don't think we should delineate between, like, male and female records and shit.

I don't think the Oscars should be just Best Actor. Oh, you think even in that? I mean, I like it because it just adds for, there's another category to, like, talk about and debate. But really, why? Who cares? Did you do a better acting job than I did? You're a girl. I'm a guy.

Yeah, that's true. I do like it as well for the same reason. There's just more to talk about you know but you know i'd rather than do like uh all right men and women all together and you do like old and young you know like the best uh best under 40 or some shit uh but yeah man i mean 1.3 million in a week in an era where you don't need to do that i mean i haven't bought anything it's it's legit 1.3 million sold that's what it says republic record says 1.3 million units sold currently the record holder let me see um you know yeah i mean nate was talking about how about this the blockbuster sales put folklore lore on pace to be the yeah on pace to be the top album i think so uh and so juice world's album

was already that was pacing to be the biggest album of the year and it did 517 000 so she doubled up juice world and then some wow which i i get it i'm not saying i'm surprised that she's number one i'm saying i'm surprised 1.3 in a in a week in this in a day in this era i mean that means i would i can't wait to see the weekly number so it'll be friday that's when it came out yeah so i mean if she it slows down a little bit but if she even comes close to doing a million a day for a week i can't remember an album like maybe like marshall mathers lp or something i don't know i can't think of anything that dead numbers like that it's i mean it's so fucking good it's crazy i don't like it because i'm not into like the slow shit as much but but I am noticing. That's what's crazy.

Usually her slow songs are my least favorite. I like the boppy stuff. But this was, someone said that this was Red's older sister that went to therapy. And Red was my favorite album, so this makes sense. This album is so fucking good, top to bottom. I started off with the grades. I had seven straight A's, and and then i has like i gotta be more critical because they're so good but they're all and then like now i go back and i look at the other ones i regret like oh i gave that one a b that's that's actually that's actually an a yeah i saw a c in there yeah that also that i talked

about that on shit talk where it's like for some reason when i listened to it the first time i thought the story was convoluted and going back well that's what I like about it I haven't listened to it yet but like the fact that it's like storytelling and like the rap fan in me likes that there's like like you said this has bars storytelling and like clever word play and shit so fucking beautiful all of it like every song

you're listening to it and you can like see the people you see the movie in your head it's not so much she should do a Lemonade She should do Lemonade. She should do a visual album for the whole thing. Yeah, that would be sick. She probably can't because she started writing this in May. Oh, wow.

So this really is a quarantine album. Yeah. She reached out to that dude, Adam Duffer, who is one of the members of the National, and was like, hey, you know, I just think I'm maybe doing a quarantine album. Like, do you have any music that, you know, you'd be willing to part with? Or I don't know, however it works in that world. I'll buy it from you for a shit ton. And it was, and he's like, yeah.

And according to him. I think I can accommodate you, Taylor. According to him, he's like, I didn't really think, I thought it was kind of just like, you know, we're talking shit. And they're friends. So I didn't really think anything of it. So I sent her my whole file of all my songs, of all the songs I have. Did he do the whole album then?

He did 11 of 16 songs. Wow, good for him. Talk about right place, right time. That friendship paid off, man. And he's like, I was like, whatever, here's the music, listen to it. And that was at 9 p.m. And he woke up at 2 a.m. to three fully written songs.

And he's like, oh. We're really doing an doing an album see that's what i like about taylor now i still will always kind of hate her her persona are you i mean it sounds by the way 180 back to your original taylor swift feel vibes what like you you were kind of out on her and now i feel like you're all the way back yeah all the way back i never liked every song was about a breakup everything was like about some it liked every song was about a breakup everything was like about some it was every song was about a breakup every single time you know and then i i feel like at this point in her life a lot of this still is about relationships obviously but like she's also coming from a place where i think she has more to say about it like

when you're just a young girl and you're just like heartbroken over a breakup it's like all right i get it but now she's been through some shit in the industry and like that's what i was saying a lot more perspective i guess and maybe the music wouldn't change but me listening to it i'd be like this woman i'll listen to this woman say some shit where it used to just be like i can't relate to a girl fucking going through a boy breakup but this i feel like you know you can you can hear it in your own this album is 100 like if it's it's like 1a 1b with red right now but i i guarantee this album ages with me the best because it's it is i love her early stuff and the poppy stuff like that but like when i think about it i'm thinking back to a time when i was like 14 or 15

and like you know that kind of adult album this is an adult album and she's still reminiscing on those things but it's like like you said she has a lot more to say about it. Yeah. And it's like, the storytelling in it is crazy. There's three songs in it that are all told from the perspectives of a cheating relationship. Where it was one guy, Betty, is James telling the story of how he cheated and wants to get his girlfriend back. Cardigan is the girl who was cheated on. And then August, there's debate about what the third is.

Because Taylor only said, Taylor said there were three of them. She didn't say which ones they were. See, this is the shit that gets me going. Yeah. Like, hidden meanings or connected songs or there's a story throughout the album. I'll listen to this shit now. But then the, like, and then it's either August or Illicit Affairs is told from the perspective of the girl who was the other girl. Right, right.

And then like the song The Last Great American Dynasty. That's about the Kennedys, right? No. It's about the Standard Oil family. Betty Harkness. The fuck? What's she saying about them? She owns the house now.

The house that Taylor? Taylor owns the house of that. Yeah. See, that's fucking awesome and like the whole that whole song is like the imagery in that song is fucking stunning like you can just close your eyes and like you can picture like by the way when you can buy oil money houses but like it's told because like betty was like this girl who was kind of like a wild child like and like they people didn't understand like how she even got into that family because she was

already divorced and like she just threw fucking bangers at holiday house which is what the house that taylor owns in watch hill and like the whole time it's like talking about this crazy woman and it ends with like and now and then i bought her house and it's like oh you're talking about you do yeah it's fucking i also like a mad woman right is like yeah she's just like i'm fed up with this shit that's like that's about kanye allegedly it's mostly scootabrown but there's definitely some kanye and Kim lyrics. The first line, the first spin through, I thought it was definitely just Kanye and Kim. But I guess it is about Scooter.

But there's some Kanye and Kim stuff where it's like, there's one where it's like, talk about how like women like hunting witches too. And like, and they're telling me I should move on, but you know, I won't. And it's like, hey, bitch, I'm going to follow you to the grave. And like, that's a that's a that's a battle she's gonna win yeah you know like like kim and kanye have their own fucking massive fans no doubt but you know they're already kanye's losing favor and kardashian always has like the negative vibe taylor's gonna just become like the she already was but i think taylor swift is gonna become like a uh fucking i don't know what janice joplin or something like

that you know i mean likerespected from everybody in music, not just country, not just pop. Like this woman like runs the fucking world now. And she's been so meticulous with her image. So I feel like it's like, she'll be able to speak on like anything. You know what I mean? That oil shit's cool though.

That's dope. T-shirts out on sale now with all like the best lines from the album. There's so many too should just keep turning those out is it only four there's only four i mean you should do at least eight they were and i was just like i couldn't i couldn't decide well i wanted to just do one i can't like if i'm dead to you then why are you at the wig i i would i would say from a outsider point of view the one i've seen is that one like if you did have to say what's like the iconic line from this album that most people would know the uh the the most prevalent of

gifts the same way it's that one that is i mean that was what i saw every girl posting that was i mean that one that's i got wasted like all my potential oh wow that's a good one too but the wake one though you know what is funny is like the way you said like that's a good one too that's a good one too i like that one a lot i like that one a lot but the wake one though you know what is funny is like the way you said like uh you said this last week when i first came out you're like she's got bars and it's like that's why i like rap music even the bad rappers are saying shit like that usually where you have like clever punch lines and funny wordplay and now like she does it and it's like oh wow you can do that too i thought it was funny too uh a lot of people were excited that she said fuck and like that and she opens the album on i'm on some new

shit it was like oh jayler that was i had no idea what to expect going into the album i was very unsure i was i was like i knew she'd just written in a month or two months whatever it was and i was like boy this is gonna be a tough one to pull And it went, that's the opening line of the album is, I'm doing good. I'm on some new shit. And I went, it's a classic. It's a 10 out of 10 already. This album's going to fuck.

It was so, dude. It's so, so, so good. And the thing is, I was going to give my top five songs, and I will, but it doesn't matter. Because it's going to be something different. Well, that is interesting when you make an album. I don't want to say they sound the same. Because that sounds like you're talking down about it.

But you're not going to be like, this is my favorite pop one. This is my favorite slow one. This is my favorite love ballad. They're all kind of cut from the same cloth. So it's all very interchangeable. There's a couple of poppy songs. Like Jack Antonoff is the pop guy. He's like a...

Oh, how about that Bon Iver song? People love that, huh? Yeah. Yeah, that's dope. That's the... You know what's funny? When you know... When you're on a level, and I think both of them are for different reasons, but, like, artists collab all the time, but there are certain ones that you go, like, whoa.

Well, and you know, like, what the... I never heard of... Like, I never even thought of this one, you know? That's pretty cool. So, Adam, Adam Dresden, the guy from The National, he... Taylor was originally singing... So, that's, like, a couple. Like dressed as the guy who from the national he taylor was originally singing so that's like a couple like talk about like the end of their relationship kind of deal and um the taylor was originally singing it from both perspectives she was singing the male and the female and they were like oh let's check it out let's see if it works with a

guy and he just he said he'd been so secretive about everything like no one knew anything no one even knew he was working with taylor blah blah blah right and he just sent he said he'd been so secretive about everything. Like, no one knew anything. No one even knew he was working with Taylor, blah, blah, blah. Right. And he just sent it to Bon Iver because he's like, I know. Is that how you say it? Bon Iver. Bon Iver, okay. The, he's like, and it's also, Bon Iver is a band.

So it's Justin, he's the lead singer. Oh, got it. So he sent it to Justin. And he's like, I know he's going to want to do this. So it doesn't, I don't have to be secretive about it. Yeah, yeah. He's like, here it is. And he's like.

That's not a thing to turn down. He's like, yup, I'm in. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, there are certain people where it's like, if to do this, so I don't have to be secretive about it. Yeah, yeah. He's like, here it is. That's not a thing to turn down. He's like, yup, I'm in. Yeah, that's what I mean. There are certain people where it's like, if they come calling, you do it. But also, Taylor always has conspiracy theories around her. And this big one here was obviously one that she stole Kanye's release date, which he was probably never going to do anyway. Right.

But, you know, we'll edit something. Two, one of the artists Kanye works like, works with and loves, like, publicly, is Bonnie Barrett. Bonnie Barrett, yeah. And it's like, I'm only going to have one feature on this album. It's going to be your guy. Your dude. Oh, that's so good.

I, you know, a couple years ago, I would have said this is like a fair fight, and now it's like, it's just not. It's just like. There's so much cool shit she does, like, being a little bitch. Yeah. Where it's like, the, in, I forget what song it is, actually. But one of the lyrics is, there's robbers to the east, clowns to the west. And in the lyric, like, you know, all artists put out, like, a music video, but it's not a music video.

It's just a lyric. Yeah. East is lowercase. Clowns to the west is how it's done. That's awesome. That's awesome. Oh, man. I mean, you know what else I think happens?

My one critique of her maybe back in the day. Again, I'm not like I don't love her, but as just like an objective viewer of it. I think there used to be a time where I was like, this is so dramatic and depressing. And then you get older and you're like, life is fucking sad. When you can relate to the sadness a lot more it becomes a lot different for you so i guess it depends on what kind of mindset you're in and where you are in life you know i actually think like i'm just looking through this right now it's so good man it's so fucking all right i'm gonna go top five

one last great american dynasty two mirror ball three piece This honestly isn't the same order that I just did on Net Talk. That's what I mean. Four, Madwoman. Five, Exile. There it is. Final Bridge. Official, in stone, never will change, never will modify. Top five songs from folklore.

You heard it there first. Like, you'll love Mirrorball. Mirrorball's so fucking good. Yeah? It's like, it's like, it's like from, like, an entertainer's perspective, where it's just, like, I'm just dancing all I can can and i think it's more about a girl for a guy but like as someone who's an entertainer it's just like i'm doing everything i can just to get you to look at me like i just i'm showing you every aspect of me i'm so many different people i

don't even know who i am anymore right and it's just like oh i know what you mean i think it's a hard. I wish I couldn't relate to Taylor Swift music. I wish I could relate to Pitbull music. I wish I listened to nothing but Flo Rida. But all of a sudden, I find the urge to listen to fucking Sad Girl season Taylor Swift music. And that is not a good thing. Next voicemail, Nick.

Did we answer that one? What was the question? Endurance. Jerk off real fast for real long. Hey, KFC. Hi to the rest of the crew. Last night, a buddy of mine was trying to get us to hop on a conference call with his business partner. I missed it, but a friend of mine made it.

And after the conference call is over, I get a text saying, bro, this is a complete and utter pyramid scheme. And then he linked me to a video of their compensation plan. And at some point, they actually show a pyramid in the video of their compensation plan and at some point they actually show a pyramid in the video of their compensation plan. The company doesn't make anything. The only way that they make money is by signing up members and all three of the founders are under investigation for fraud. Yeah. How do we go about telling our buddy that he's getting into a pyramid scheme? Thanks.

I mean, you just did. If you lay all that on the line and your buddy still does it, that's one of those Ron White things. Like, if you can stand on your own two feet, look me dead in the eyes, and articulately say, fuck off, then okay, I'll leave you alone. But this is a big thing. I'm assuming this guy's, like, right out of college. This is a thing that happens at that age where you get into it. There was one called primerica uh that i'm sure i don't know it's probably crashed and burned and got investigated but primerica was one that uh you know when you don't when you don't know what a pyramid scheme

is at first and they tell you like this is how it works you're like oh fuck yeah this is i like pyramid schemes are like cults yeah where from the outside you're like this is insanity inside you're like this is the best i get like free money i just recruit people and uh like it's fine oh it's great man it's gonna be great that is that always downstream yeah yeah yeah i mean these things are tail as old as time i mean there's there's but a time time shares are funny ones too i remember talking to someone with a time share and they're just like i bought this in the 86 for 400 bucks and like this a vacation would be cost to me this and that. And I'm like, I mean, I guess I look, you're running the numbers.

It makes sense to me. I'd just rather be able to go other places. Right. I mean, I'm sure if you do it like absolutely right and really utilize it the right way. Yeah, it makes sense. But, you know, I'm sure they're like blackout dates and stuff where you can only use it like in February or whatever, you know. But yeah, both these things are scams. And you get caught up in them when you're young and you don't get caught up when you're older and but i think if if you can't say like look it's shit like a pyramid on the

fucking thing i mean that's a joke in both sunny and uh the office yeah when michael is trying no it's yeah he's showing it and jim just just comes and traces around it for a period. And then in Sonny, it's a filtration system. Yeah. A filter. Reverse funnel. The reverse funnel. Yeah. I mean, it's as stupid as it gets.

But I mean, I also would just like tell my friend that. And if he wants to do it, it's not like he's like getting into like a sex cult. He's getting into like an idiotic finance cult. It's like, I don't know. Don't be dumb. He'll eventually learn when they go to jail for like you know when the job doesn't exist anymore because the three men are what is the bat like can someone explain to me a pyramid scheme real quick it's all it's all just like you you uh but like what's the negative

like what's what's the danger that's what i mean i don't think there's yeah i don't think there is one unless i think at the top you are are money to – you owe money that you don't have because you're taking it from this referral base. And I think you can get in trouble for misappropriating funds or false promises, that kind of shit. I'm pretty sure you pay an enrollment fee. So that's – yeah. So that's how they get their money and then like so you recruit your buddy he gives a hundred bucks you get 10 of that yeah and then like and they take that money and do you know probably fucking buy their their new car with it and then

there's really no way to ever pay these people back it's like uh it's ponzi scheme it's like what madoff did like when there actually is no source of income and you're just getting people to give you money you're stealing from them i don't think that's stealing though that's stupid you did it i mean the will give me 10 bucks you give me 10 bucks i don't steal it i know i mean i always say this with the will ponds like they're victims i'm like they're fucking not they're stupid when someone can deliver when they can be like you're getting 20 returns when the rest of the market's down it's like well there's probably a fucking thing going on here you dicks so yeah i don't think there's anything really wrong if you're just one of the soldiers. If you're at the top, you're a scumbag.

What's up, KFC Fight Super Producer BC, or Nick, whoever's there, for some long time. So I have been thinking about talents that people have that go underrated. So, for example, I'm a girl. I drive sixes. I drive very well. My friends always trust me every time we have to go around Manhattan or anywhere. Great driver, parallel park, all that.

If I was well-trained, I probably could be a NASCAR driver. Wow. So I'm just thinking about what kind of talents you guys think that you guys have on the low that you think. Well, you called the wrong podcast. Hey, you guys want to talk about your talents? Given the opportunity to and a little piece of sun. By the way, I don't think driving's a good one because then you have to drive people.

Like you said, her friends are always relying on you. Let me tell you, people who can drive stick shift can suck my left nut. Amen. Oh my God. What a useless talent that is.

I know. That's all they talk about. I know. You can't drive stick? Yeah. You call yourself a man because you can't drive stick? The worst. I can't drive stick no i was born in the 21st century i was gonna say i also don't know how to crank a model t i can't uh watch me send this fax bro i

fucking crushed it you can't even send this facsimile yeah i i love that anyone who knows how to do something old-fashioned is the awesomest thing in the world. So stupid. It's a waste of your, especially if you can just do it fine. If you like took the time to learn, why? Let me just like waste my time figuring out this obsolete fucking task. I wouldn't even know. Do they even sell cars that are still stick? I'm sure you can get like the

fancy ones because people who spend money on like the top notch cars want the manual transmission. But like boy, I'm just a fuck about that. You're the biggest. And I'm sorry you sound like a very nice girl, but you're a dumb shit. Parallel parking, though, I think is a good one. Parallel parking.

To be able to rip that, no problem. I don't even count that. I just assume. I guess. You know what I mean, though. I'm not saying just, like, can you parallel park. I'm saying when you pull up and the size of the spot is, like, six inches bigger than your car and you can get your car in there with like two or three inches on either side or if you just rip it quick but when you can go like in out in and you put it

somewhere that's like i don't even know how i'm gonna get out of this like i know i know physically i have to be able to get out because i got in but i don't think i can you know uh that i think is a good one you live in a city like this it's like you can't be just looking for you know, that I think is a good one. You live in a city like this. It's like you can't be just looking for, you know, grand open spots. You got to be able to put it in a tiny little hole. The one that we've talked about before, jaywalking. I have saved no less than 10 total minutes in the five years I've been here. Just dude getting right, right, right on that car, right? Be the first person to fucking cross the street after the last car comes.

I almost lost my nose the other day. I mean, it even scared me. I was like, whoa. Flew a little too close to the sun on that one. My toes and my nose were definitely on the verge of being clipped. And I didn't even like... But man, that rush I get.

And I don't care. I mean, Asa said it best. She admits admits it I know you girls you see a guy who jaywalks like a motherfucker and it's like oh shit that guy's hot he's a rebel that guy's got places to be it's like being a badass

that should be another top 5 let's do that next week top 5 modern reasonable things an adult does that's, like, badass. Like, yeah, I'm fucking cool. Okay. Yeah. I can spin the pen on my finger.

Yeah. I can do that. That's it. I have a very good internal clock with ad reads. I know when a minute's coming. That's a very specific skill. Yeah. That's about all I've got.

I can jerk off a lot. Yeah. That's a good one, too. It's a good specific skill yeah that's about all i've got i can jerk off a lot yeah that's a good one too it's a good one too i can come multiple times i i can i know when i hit a minute on ad read i know when i hit 60 minutes on a podcast i know like sometimes i'll just be like all right we're done here and it's like 59 57 yeah bam got it that's it though and that's just not even a talent that's just from sheer repetition because i've done nothing else but this for 10 straight years uh outfit backwards how you do outfit backward oh alphabet backwards yeah that's i mean that we know you taught yourself that one because you're a drunk but the uh the that's not even like an underrated skill that's just some stupid that's a carnival trick i feel like i can

rap like lyrics fast if i learn the lyrics i can kind of i can like rap like an m&m song i'm gonna twist the song really but i have to like really know it though i can't just like get it off the bat but i feel like i got that um boy we're you know we're fucking bottom of the barrel it's really not fair to ask us this question like hey let's talk to two most untalented guys in the world and ask them what their talents are i don't even have a resume and you're asking me for my special skills it's like also it's like not speaking of resumes it's more like what are you proficient in what can you do i didn't crack the fuck out of my knuckles oh i didn't crack the fuck out of my neck excuse me uh my neck i actually haven't been as

much but there's one for you there's a couple for you but in the mornings that clickety clack oh again not a talent it's that my body is in horrific shape. So let's think on this. But yeah, fuck you and your talents. Next up. KFC fights. Super producer Nick at night. I saw Brendan tweeting about this.

I wanted to call in and give away my secret and get your opinion on it. He was talking about customer service lines and how they're always, you know, high volume, take hours to get back to you. My wife actually discovered a little secret. You know, sometimes even airlines will say four or five hours wait. And so I was calling and it's obviously the worst when you have to actually go online, you know, or you have to call them in person, you're not able to do it online. And so when we do it, we just call and it says you know press one for english two for spanish we don't speak spanish but we press it it ends up being like a five or six minute wait when they answer in spanish we say oh unless they press the wrong button uh do you speak english and they always do because they're bilingual and so it cuts you know hours out of our time so whenever you have to call an airline or

a bank where you can't do anything online you you're forced to do it over the phone. We found that that's, you know, I guess a life hack for lack of a better term. So I want to see your opinion. Is that wrong? Is that right? Are we geniuses? Are we terrible people? That is the mind-blown gif.

That's galaxy brain gif. I mean, that is a great hack. It's like, is it wrong to like shit in the handicap stall? It's like if there's an angle, you know, or I guess it would be more like parking in the handicap spots but by the way i went to a market this weekend and there was a a sign for it said uh handicapped employees parking spot parking and i was like just say it's steve's parking yeah i mean that's got to be a very specific person it's a small supermarket yeah it's like like like you have an endless revolving door of handicapped employees this is where rick parks yeah like it's crazy to me that you that's ridiculous and guess what rick would probably like having a private spot yeah

that's definitely but you know what that is that they can't do that because that sounds like you're like the fucking ceo of the place. Yeah. They don't want Rick, the grocery bagger, getting fucking too big for his britches by saying I have my own personal spot. That's just the handicapped guy spot. I think this is a great hack. I think that, you know, yeah, sure. Like, again, the handicapped stall. Maybe you run the risk of I'm using this in the exact moment that a Spanish speaking person needs to use this.

And now nobody's available. But I think the vast majority of the time, you're Gucci. Yeah, but you know, that's the only thing that would maybe run in your head at all. But fuck that. That's a funny thought. That's great.

We should write this down. Like the idea that you're at like a call center and in one room the English people are like, God damn it. We've got like phones everywhere and across the street there's you know the spanish-speaking ones and they're just sitting there with their feet up like crickets that's a great great hack that's a life hack you know when you talk about um what's the one that you always hate brushing your teeth in the shower stupid that saves you you know one minute total your whole life doesn't save you

any time yeah you're just fucking brushing your teeth instead of washing your body right or drying off your body whatever but this you know if you've ever spent hours on on hold or minutes on hold and this is the way it work because they do they're never going to be like no i don't speak english hang up wow that's great stuff that blew my mind yeah what blew my mind i'm furious with myself i'm so mad with myself i made i wanted to make it a point for today's podcast i wanted to lead off with this as a point that we are not paying enough attention to this nobody cares we all but confirmed aliens now oh really like we we did the these objects are unidentified flying objects meaning we don't know like what are. Now the report from the New York Times is that we have confirmed

they have in possession some materials from these things. That means they had a crashed landing or something that they have looked at and they have said these were not made on planet Earth. That's fucking aliens. I mean, so there's either two things there's either like that report's not true and like they're you know mixing words here uh or or it's a lie

or there's aliens that's the only two options if you tell me this isn't this is material and and products from another it said materials not of this world that's so awesome that's so dangerous i'd be so i'd be so nervous if I was studying that. I'd be like, oh, shit. This isn't. What does that mean? Like, they look at it with a fucking microscope, and they're like, this is your utonium. This doesn't even exist.

Something like that. Or is it just like, I don't know what that means. But the New York Times. So Marco Rubio, by the way, is like the gatekeeper of aliens. He heads up. Yes, he heads up like a UFO task force in America right now. Because he said he was recently saying, I hope that these UFOs are from another planet. Because that means if that's not the case, that means that Russia or China have jumped ahead of us technologically like light years so i get that i'm like i'd rather be an alien and either hey

they're friendly or if they come to kill us we're fucked versus like we just let russia get ahead of us in this shit that's a bad sign so marco rubio though is the one talking about it and he's saying that this is a matter of like national defense that the public deserves to know about i'm kind of like as much as i love this shit and i want to know all the facts you shouldn't be telling me this and i can't believe i guess what's about to happen is there's about to be a report released with like all this information so this is just like the precursor and that there's going to be some sort of document that's coming out that's from this ufo task force that uh was set up in like 2007 or some shit um the dude there's a dude from nevada harry reed i think is his name

yeah he said um he his words got taken out of context a little bit he was saying something like we have the quote was like we have materials that we've studied and he's like no no i never said that i never said that we have anything so there's a chance that maybe this got misconstrued a little bit but um there is like you know like important astrologists astrophysicists who are like weighing in who said eric woods i think is his name was like this is materials not of this world and nobody said anything about it because i think what happened is i think people always heard the ufo thing and then every time they read the article they were like oh they just mean they don't know what it was they're not saying it's aliens but so when i first saw that headline

i was like this is just again it's unidentified i don't know where it comes from which is scary in its own right but then i took it a step further saying that they studied materials which a means they have them in their possession right logically and b they've determined it's from another fucking planet uh that's about as short of like here here's a fucking alien short of that i i don't think you're gonna get any more blunt and i wonder i'm like why are you telling us this like why that also scares me it's like well if you're telling us this that means that there's a ton more if you're willing to give up that little nugget then what are you hiding uh and the wildest shit is all these articles i read all of them to a man mentioned tom delong from blank 182 really so those those those videos

that we've been seeing for like three years now that they just recently said yeah we're confirming those are real tom delong was the source like tom delong was the first one to put those out really yeah i did not know yeah i mean you knew he was like a ufo now yeah yeah but he was the one who had like got those videos and he was the one who like distributed them publicly so every article is like ufo enthusiast and like former band member of blink-182 dom de long but i guess that was the first time the uf the pentagon ever kind of confirmed anything and now they're taking it a step further saying that they've like studied something and i'm if there were confirmation does that like destroy religion i think it should but i bet just like anything else like the spin zone here oh yeah you know it's like we can tell you like look here's

the facts about masks and you're just like nah nah nah nah so i think that or or you just move the goalposts and you say god invented that too you know yeah and also god like we said god created the earth not the universe right right yeah. He's just one of many. Who knows? But yeah, I'm sure it should. I think if an alien life form shows up and does something, like interacts, I think that would be a lot harder to spin for the religious folks.

Yeah. But we're getting there, man. We're getting there. That's going to be a fucking day. Old takes exposed like a motherfucker. But yeah, aliens are out there and nobody cares. People are just talking about baseball and Taylor Swift. This is nuts.

Alright, so that's it for voicemails. Let's get into our interviews today. They're brought to you by 3Chi. I mean, 3Chi is... I've been dancing around it for a while, but 3Chi is just weed. It's federally legal. It's a THC extract been dancing around it for a while but uh three cheese just weed uh it's federally it's federally

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kfc at checkout got to be 21 or up to. That's how you know it's the real deal. So go to 3CHI.com, promo code KFC at checkout for 5% off. All right, Jerry O'Connell joins the show once again from like the middle of a fucking dirt road outdoors. 86 Jag. Wacky interview. Zero interest in talking about the movie he's promoting. And we end up talking about fencing and uh i would have never guessed that jerry o'connell is a big fencer yeah i also

would have never guessed that there's like fencing like when he said i fenced in manhattan i thought like ritzy you know upper east side shit he's like no just regular spot in the city crazy i also do need to clarify at this point at some point this interview we talk about tiktok and me watching teenagers you understand i'm not seeking them out right yeah okay john was not quite sure how the for you page works on tiktok where they just feed you like content that you can't decide so i said yeah it's weird i'm just like watching tiktok in bed and i'm probably watching teenagers dance before i go to bed he was like whoa that's what everybody's doing it's doing. It's not just me, okay? It's still weird. But just wanted to clarify that. All right, so Jerry O'Connell, and we'll see you guys next time.

There he is. What's up, guys? Sorry about that. Look at this guy. Look at this guy. He comes out in the wilderness with the Knicks jersey on. What kind of car is that? I can't even tell.

What is that? The Anthony Mason 2. 86 Jaguar. Ah, what a flex. What a jerk you are. I knew this was going to be a good interview. I didn't even know we were going to start off like this. This is unbelievable.

Fellas, what an honor. Thank you for having me on the first day of sports in six months. It's been a while. How long has it been? I don't even know. It's not even first day of sports for me. It's Taylor Swift dropping a new album tonight. That's what's happening today.

Big deal. It's a big deal. A lot of big things happening in the world. It's all opening up again. Things are going to be okay, everybody. Oh, yeah? Okay. Jerry says so.

So we're good. It's very – Is that almost right there? What? With that almost right there, your whole, like, it's going to be good. We're fine. That feels like the secret to me. Right. I was going to say,

if you need any more proof that the secret works and that they did a good job of casting on the movie here, look at Jerry. The secret. He's unlocked the secret. Look at this guy. I was just tuning in here to KFC.

I am an actor in the scripted version of that book, The Secret. You know, it's the laws of attraction and it helps you get the things that you want in life. And that's why they're joking about this meeting the laws of attraction thing that's hilarious i mean it does sound like it though was that something you kind of got into when you were like uh when you were preparing for the role and stuff you know i have to say i i i didn't like i i i didn't like it was it wasn't i i was. So you have to like sort of be on set. You do have to like sort of memorize your lines and show up on time and stuff. I think like the secret is more about like getting things that you want in life. I should say full disclosure, I play Katie Holmes's fiance.

And she has a sort of a relationship with a guy named Josh Lucas. For those who watched Sweet Home Alabama, he's the hunk, the leading man in that. I play the dude who's holding her back from fulfilling her dreams. Nice. Nice, Jared. I play that guy in every role, too. I mean, I guess I'm like the bad.

I'm acting in life, too, holding everyone back. That's just the role I'm playing. The bad boyfriend you have that's holding you back in life. That's what I'm playing in this. So I wouldn't say I was using, maybe if you didn't do what I did, maybe that would work out. So what you're telling me is that you just showed up

to do a job and you don't really give a shit about this philosophical secret stuff. No, no, no, no, no no i cannot say that at all i just don't want to look i know everyone listening to kfc radio is very savvy and i don't want to sound like i'm like i don't want to sound like i'm preaching anything to any of you. I hear you. They'll immediately like make fun of me. Nobody likes the preaching. Nobody likes preaching. But we have been, we've declared 2020 the year of mental health.

We're trying to get our minds right. And sometimes I think there's a lot of those books, The Secret and a lot of self-help and stuff. And some of it I think is bullshit and some of it's real. And some of it, I think, can help if you buy into it. So do you subscribe to any of that stuff? What's your secret to life? Sure.

I mean, listen, the secret is, how do I word this? I was working on a TV show and I was complaining a lot about my boss. I hated my boss and I was making fun of my boss, never to his face, but behind his back all the time. And a guy I was working with was like, hey, come to my dressing room. I want to give you something. And he gave me the secret. And I was like, oh, like, please, like, I don't want to be a part of this. Like, I just hate our boss. I don't need to read this. And I did.

And I did read it. And I did understand the appeal of it. You know, I think it does help a lot of people, you know, at the risk of sounding like I'm here preaching. I mean, we. No, I don't think so either. I agree with you. But I agree with you because I think so much of it is really just modernized religion where it's like, it's like the energy you put out into the world is the energy you receive. But I do think that not just specifically the secret. I think a lot of these things are good at like motivating yourself.

I mean, yeah. Well, you know what it is? I mean, I can remember being younger when you think you're smart. You think you got the world figured out. You haven't had, you know, you haven't hit any bumps in the road. Everything's good. And you're like, I don't need all that shit shit they don't know what they're talking about i know what

i'm doing blah blah blah and then the minute that you find yourself in over your head in whatever aspect of life you're like oh shit i need some help i need someone who knows what they're talking about and i don't know whether that author knows what he's talking about or if that actor or writer whoever can give me the secrets but i'm certainly willing to listen i'll give it a shot because i know i don't know also also you know drinking when you're younger also gets you through a lot of that yeah definitely i mean that's always a secret that's a secret that that's not a secret i think that's pretty well known and i think you can rely on that one for pretty much decades upon decades speaking of drinking when you were younger you very recently had a

quote tweet where you were talking about drinking on set with mariah carey that was like i saw that story where you're like i you you put it in caps locks i drank champagne with the songbird herself and i was like what was that like for those who don't know i was in a music video of Mariah Carey's called Heartbreaker. It's a famous music video that she made. And I played. Oh, it's so funny. I played her bad boyfriend. The same character I play in the Secret movie.

Wow. There's a theme going on here. Running theme here. Yeah. And I got to set and I was invited to Mariah Carey's trailer. And it was the first time I drank champagne out of a Magnum. That's those big bottles here. And it was funny. I mean, it was the first time like I actually, it's really interesting.

If you haven't ever drank out of a Magnum, you literally have to hold it like you're like holding like a jug of water. Like you're the Aquarius, like you're the Aquarius, like Zodiac sign. I mean, it's like holding it like this and pouring it into a little flute but yeah man I parted I parted with Mariah Carey she was best so so cute so fun she was she's so massive that she's reached that like that level of hugeness where just you can say people can say anything about her in the sense like oh Mariah Carey's rider was crazy we're like all the M&Ms had to be red and all the flowers had to be painted pink or whatever. All these crazy things.

And you're like, yeah, that probably makes sense. But the story you're describing is a much different one. It's not a diva. I didn't know her as a diva at all. You didn't know Mariah Carey as a diva, Jerry O'Connell? I didn't know her personally as a diva. Oh, okay. Okay. diva jerry o'connell i didn't know her personally as a diva i mean oh okay okay i i mean i know she's got an ongoing joke where she acts like she doesn't know that person you know when she's asked

about like nikki minaj or something like i don't know who that is yeah um but i i gotta tell you um like a really when i worked with her she seemed like a very attractive girl from Long Island. I mean, she's originally from Long Island and she just seemed like a, a very talented, super hot girl from Long Island to me. I mean, that's, that's what I, that was my personal experience with her. And that's all I can talk about. You are, you're a big housewives guy, right? I do watch those, those, those those housewives shows i watched them all did you see uh theresa and joe's instagram posts uh this week i did not see their instagram posts okay i do have to be a little careful joe joe judice called me

something very rude on Instagram. I did. Really? Yeah. I was on that Andy Cohen show and someone asked, do I ever role play as a housewife at home in the bedroom? And I, I don't, it's just not something my wife and I do. I mean, if we did role play, I doubt I would like role play as housewives, but as a joke, I said, yeah, I role play as Joe Giudice. And yeah, and I do all these things with my wife.

I said it as a joke. It really upset him. And he kind of threatened me on social media. And I got the message. I'm looking at it right now. Yeah, you said Juicy Joe. And Teresa liked it. She said, LOL, I'm looking at it right now. Yeah, you said Juicy Joe. And Teresa liked it. She said, LOL, I'm dying. But I guess Joe was not down with it, huh? I mean, that's not a guy currently living in southern Italy threatens me, I tend to listen and do what they say. Well, so this Instagram post, it's this wacky story where a judge that was assigned to a Jeffrey Epstein case had this horrible home invasion happen. Oh, the poor son got shot.

Right. And then that judge happened to be the judge in Joe and Teresa's case. So Joe put up an Instagram saying, I just want to let everyone know I had nothing to do with this murder. I was like, this murder? Joe, how about all murders? It was a very strange Instagram post to put up from a couple of housewives people talking about murder. But yeah, I think you were good to steer clear of them.

Yeah, I mean, I'm very open enough to admit I'm afraid to talk about Joe DiCiudice on any platform. I apologize. I apologize. I apologize for having to put him in the path. So what else? Have you been hit hard by quarantine? I know last time we talked, your talk show was coming out.

Is that still cooking? Talk show didn't happen. I'm so sorry. I was a failure on that front. Hey guys, it turns out, um, turns out show business hard. Yeah, man. Um, I, uh, remember we were talking about what, what, what happens when you're an adult and you get knocked down. I'm kidding. Um, uh, I've got nothing. I mean, I've got the secret movie coming out, but other than that, I'm just really sitting at home. I can't put my kids in camp. I go to the beach a lot here in Los Angeles. It's the only place that's really open.

The kids, are you pumped for sports back? I'm so stoked to watch. Guys, no offense. I'm not even that much of a baseball fan. I don't even care. I'm going to sit down and watch every game as if it was the Superbowl. And I'm not a TV executive, but these numbers are going to be like Superbowl ask tonight for these two baseball games that are playing. Well, yeah. Last time you came in and you sat down like a son of a bitch and you told me

that you're a Mets and a Yankees fan. So I guess that really upset you this week. That, that, that really upset you. I do have to say, I knew I was in trouble when I was watching, I think it was the Cornhole Championships. I don't know if you caught

any of those on ESPN. But not only was I watching them, but I was trying to somehow get some action on them as well I was really calling anyone saying turn into tune into ESPN4 right now there's a cornhole championship I bet you I bet you this dude with the pink mask is going to beat the guy with the blue mask um I'll tell you what though those are even I've watched those even during like regular sports times Those just get a bad ride

Those are exciting You see someone hit like a triple bag Or I don't even know what the terminology would be But they hit a hole three times You're like this is intense The juice is flowing You ever seen the videos from like the world The world championship of

Darts When someone hits like a three in a row During cricket or whatever You ever seen the videos from the world championship of darts? When someone hits a three in a row during cricket or whatever? It erupts. The place goes crazy. Sure, sure, sure. Of course. Triple bagger? Triple bagger?

What are some other cornhole terms? Triple bagger? Well, there's a flat fall, of course. That's when you throw a moonshot and it just it just slaps on when you only need one foot on one and then there's there's a two-time double team which is when i'm i'm just going here i'm making all these up i got nothing double team you had me for a second you said that yeah uh the the kids is is uh is a motherfucker right now

not being able to send them to camp not being able to send them off to the school maybe in September I feel like there's a lot of parents out there who are like what? what do you mean? what am I supposed to do now? have you just been super dad or what?

you know not really no I've just been telling them to watch TikTok and just play as many video games as possible to leave me alone. Actually, you know what's so funny? I have two daughters, and one is really good at throwing a softball around. One is terrible. She's not listening. Really good.

Oh, no. Neither of them are listening. Are you kidding me? One's really good. I mean, she's got a really good, like, throwing action, throwing mechanism, whatever. She really gets some good speed to the ball. So are we talking about that college scholarship? That's the goal for us normal people. I'm sure you're not worried about it. Of course.

I mean, it's so funny. I have another daughter who has no athletic ability whatsoever. But, oh man, it's really fun when you sort of do something with a kid and like throwing a softball around and they just pick it up. But it is funny too, like being athletic. I mean, I hate to say this. I mean, I know a lot of people, like if they practice more, they get better, but there is really like a natural ability that people are just born with, you know, it's just how it is. I mean, I get, I have to say personally, me, I was not born with that natural athletic ability. Um, but, um,

Did you play sports at all? You definitely look like you're the quarterback of the high school team. This is where you guys are going to make fun of me. I was a fencer for many years. A collegiate fencer. Division 1 ranked at my best 17th nationally.

I can't hate on you for that. If you're top 20 You thought we were going to make fun of you for that? I don't know if you for that. If you're top, you're going to make fun of you for that. I don't know if you guys over there at barstool are going to be like, that's not a real sport. Like I mean, everyone knows sword fighting. You're right. That's the coolest sport ever. Not a sport. Everyone coolest thing in the world. It's like, yeah,

I can kill you with a sword. I didn't want you guys to be like, everyone knows that cornhole and a double rim shot is way more legit. So wait, tell me about fencing then. The way I understand it, don't you get like strapped to the wall behind you or something? Isn't that like a cord i wonder if it's actually it might even be wireless now but back in the day it was a cord um and uh what does that do what is the cord you see where you're it's to see whether you're touched or not so things go off and everything it was an olympic sport i really i trained with a lot of people who went to the olympics and um And what did you get into it? You know, I grew up in New York City,

and it was something that I just did in my neighborhood. There was a fencing sal, as they called them, in our neighborhood. It was taught by a couple Russian dudes. We got to be talking about like ritzy Upper East Side or some shit? No, man. I grew up in Chelsea. I grew up on the Lower West Side, like 17th and 7th. And then Spencer

Saul was on 16th, between 7th and 8th. It was called Blade. It's not there anymore. It was a couple of crazy Russian guys who were had, I guess, back in the 80s, they had defected, but they were, um, they were pretty, uh, like high ranking, like Olympic fencers and stuff. And, um,

do you think you could kill people with a sword? Probably. You probably pretty, I mean, to this day, you think you're still brandishing a sword like a, like a, like expert. Uh, I live out here in Calabasas,ifornia home of the kardashians kanye all that stuff and occasionally i have to use a machete a machete to cut down sort of you can see there's like brush in back of me by the way what are we doing right here were you just out for a joyride in the jag and you're like oh shit i gotta do an interview let me pull over on the dirt here no i have to come to a park at the corner of my house

because my children won't get off of TikTok. So there's no bandwidth at my house. I've tried to do these Zoom calls at my home between the hours of 8 and 3 p.m. And I just get no bandwidth. It would just be like a pixelated, like nothing version of me. That is unbelievable. What a dad to be like, pixelated like nothing version of me that is unbelievable what

what a dad to be like i'll go i'll leave you guys can have the tiktok i'll go even when i tell them even when i take it like away from them they figure out some sort of device to go on they can't be without smarter they're smarter than you is what it is. I have a question as like three dudes on KFC radio. Guys being dudes. Are you guys on TikTok? No.

I have it. I don't do anything on it though. I've been waiting for someone to bring this up, Jerry. I'm glad. I think Kevin might be addicted to it. Kevin watches it. Kevin's not on it. Kevin watches it. Kevin finds a lot of conspiracy theories on it. I hear about the conspiracy theories that happen on TikTok and then I'll go seek them out. What happens is every,

I would say twice a week when I'm going to bed, I remember about TikTok and I start to scroll and then I just get stuck down a wormhole. But it doesn't, you know, I'm a full blown Twitter addict and it didn't grasp me the same way. I dabble. I'm not one of these people who thinks it's lame because I'm not good at it. If I was good at it, I'd be on it like everyone else trying to become a superstar. But I'm like old and lame and washed up. So it's not for me. You're a good looking guy. I'd be on it like everyone else trying to become a superstar, but I'm like old and lame and washed up. So it's not for me. You're a good looking guy. You could be good on TikTok. Yeah. Well, hold on a second. What does being good at TikTok mean? Like you do the dances,

like my children who are 11 do pretty provocative dances. I mean, so does that mean you're doing provocative dances? No, see, that's, No, see, I don't put anything up. I just watch people, which is pretty creepy too. So either way, it's not great for me to be talking about this. So do you watch, I mean, listen, I don't want to get you in any trouble, but do you watch like young people doing provocative dances on TikTok? Is that what you're watching a couple nights a week before you go to sleep? That's the problem.

At night, I lay my head down, I'm going to sleep, and I watch teenagers dance. It's fucking weird, Jerry. Oh, boy, Jerry. Heavens to Betsy. I think we're out of time with Jerry anyway. That's not a joke, but let's cut it. That's the problem.

The weird thing about TikTokiktok though is that it just uh like twitter you see who you follow instagram you see you follow twitter just like feeds you shit so you don't know guy girl young old dancing doing and it's just like here's what's popular right now say i don't know what the fuck i'm watching when i'm on there oh so i didn't know that yeah you put it on and it just starts being like, here's a video for you. As soon as you open, I'll show you, it's called the for you page, which is like your timeline, but like you open it up and I don't know who that

is. I don't know who that is. It just, it just goes. So it's like, Oh, you just like forced a teenager onto my timeline. This is fucking weird. Yeah. It's funny. I mean, I do recall, I mean, I mean, this is how old I it's funny i mean i do recall i mean i mean this is how old i am i recall about i guess 10 years ago people being like you got to join twitter you you got to join twitter and me being like it's so funny i remember i only went on facebook for like two days and i couldn't it's so funny someone I joined Facebook I plugged in where I went to high school and all that stuff and someone from high school that I absolutely hated was the first person to like message me on Facebook and I just I just I deleted my account

literally within minutes I was like oh man I don't I don't, I don't want this. Yeah. And then, and then Twitter was the next one to hit. And it took me a little while and it was funny. It was a job that said, listen, we need you to live tweet. You got to tweet this stuff out. So I joined Twitter and Twitter. I was into a little more because, uh, I mean, I guess you can mute people on Facebook, right. But like, you can like sort of like sort of stay away from the people you don't want to see really, you know, Twitter and I think Twitter's got humor and, and you know,

there's some interesting stuff. The rest of it's kind of mindless, but it's also, I mean, Twitter is like, like at Barstool, we put all our eggs in the Twitter basket and you know, all the money is in everything else other than Twitter basically oh really oh yeah like from I mean you you guys would know more than all of us but like from a from a media standpoint Barstool is all in on Twitter and uh no we've we've branched out a lot now but when we first came to New York four years ago, I don't think anyone, any of the, there weren't many employees. There were probably like seven of us.

I don't think anyone even like considered having an Instagram or a Snapchat. We're right. We want to write jokes and we're trying to be funny. And Instagram and TikTok is like, if you're pretty, you put up a picture. We're like ugly and we want to make jokes. So that's where the ugly people go. Ugly people on Twitter, good looking people everywhere else. Hot, but you're, you're going to be on TikTok. I can't wait to see your Megan the Stallion dance. I mean, listen, if I could, if I could fucking dance, I'd be doing it too.

So, I mean, I have no standards. I'm just trying to make money, man. Let me ask you a question. If I gave you a sword, could you – you with the sword versus LeBron James, and let's say LeBron's angry and he's coming at you. He wants to hurt you. Could you just straight up just, bam, kill him with a sword, or would it be like a fair fight? I would say the only chance I would ever have of being on a somewhat even level with LeBron James would be if we were in a fencing match.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. That's let's set that up. Gary O'Connell versus LeBron fencing pay-per-view. Listen, if you could get celebrities versus athletes in a sword fight pay-per-view listen if you could get celebrities versus uh athletes in a sword fight pay-per-view we could we're talking serious coin jerry and and madden i would probably beat him in

madden oh he might take you up on that one i feel like he's words we could that actually might happen you get like do it for charity beat him in madden the one celebrity i couldn't beat a madden is probably snoop though snoop talks it's so i follow snoop simply for his madden content it's crazy is he he's good at it he's good at madden he just plays all the time and whenever you know occasionally like these these these gaming systems are hit with like uh like um like a hack or something and they go down for a couple hours. And he's always like posting like PlayStation, man, you better get your shit together, man. What the hell? This is some bullshit PlayStation.

He is such a legend. I was watching him last night. They did this thing. It was him and DMX. I mean, DMX is a classic. He's a legend. And he was putting out his best songs that he had. And Snoop just dominated him every single step of the way. He has so many songs. I thought DMX, both of those guys are heroes. Come on. It was awesome. I mean, it was awesome. I'm a huge DMX fan,

but it just Snoop is that much, you know, he's been around forever. He's just gotten hit after hit after hit he's he's unbelievable uh i took a selfie with uh dmx put it up on my old instagram you can look at it up there wow wow where where was that i saw him in an airport and uh i went up to him and i tapped him on the shoulder and i said uh stop stop um uh no i said. X, I have a photo. Yeah. And he, and he granted me one. Very exciting. And then I, and then I re, and then I re reposted it on, on his birthday. What a guy, what, what a legend you are, J.R. I'm sure X appreciated. All right, man, listen, we'll let you get back to the Jag and the movie is The Secret. It's going to change your life, blow your mind.

Yes. Go watch it. Laws of Attraction. All right. Thank you so much, man. We appreciate it. We'll talk to you soon. See you guys. Thanks. Thanks, Jerry. Please be safe up there. You too, my man.

I've got some issues that nobody can see. And all of these emotions are pouring out of me. I'll bring them to the light for you. It's only right. This is the soundtrack to my life. The soundtrack to my life. To my life. To my life.

To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life, to my life, to my life, to my life, to my life, to my life, to my life. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.