KFC Radio - Jim Gaffigan Talks About Being on the Road With Seinfeld - Full Episode

Episode Date: August 3, 2023

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 06:37 Gaffigan loves to garden 11:26 Stuff you hear and can't shake 16:23 Someone right now might live to 200 23:23 Gaffigan is on Ozempic 31:53 Wife's swallowing disorder 36:43 Sleep Apnea 43:26 Angering BTS Fans 48:55 Haters 58:30 being a clean comic 01:04:00 Going on the road with SeinfeldYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. They're like, yeah, just call my sister. And you're like, but like, I don't know your sister. I mean, no. And they're like, please, just call my sister. She's at work. And you're like, no, man. I i'm i'm at dinner with my family and like you can't just call my sister indianapolis madison milwaukee columbus cincinnati pittsburgh i had to say them all right off the top so i didn't forget indy milwaukee madison cincinnati

columbus pittsburgh i fucking got them now. Pat now. We are coming. KFC Radio Live, whole gang. Me, Kevin, Jackie, Paz, Nick. Vinny's going to be there. Colleen's going to be there. Everyone's going to be there. We're going to be drinking pirate water. They are on sale now, all the tickets.

Nope, not Indianapolis. I remembered everything from this. Not Indianapolis. That will be on sale Friday. But go get your codes. Go use code KFC right now. Get your tickets. We are going to be there. We're going to be there in October and November, I think.

That one I'm not too sure about. But just go buy the tickets. Let's have fun. Let's drink pirate water. Let's get loose. But I like it. I'm sure of it. You know what's crazy? I don't think it's wimpy either. I think it's like a motorcycle guy. It's logical, right?

I think it's badass. Z either. I think it's like a motorcycle. It's logical, right? It makes sense. Logical, but also kind of bad. Like, I think it's badass. Zip and go. Yeah. What's your, what's your, uh,

preferred shoe footwear? Uh, slippers. Slippers? No, my preferred. I, I,

I just made the switch to Crocs. You did? Yeah, which is like a, you're giving up on life and it's over sort of thing. I didn't even know you were married. Now you're divorced.

You're right. I am divorced. I am divorced. And that's why I picked him up after that. So fuck you, dude. Are there crops? Yeah, get comfortable. Sure, why not?

Are there? Welcome to the show, everyone. If you just joined us, we're talking about. You son of a bitch. Gaffigan got me. The show is called Young and Divorced but like wait a minute

is there good support there? so here's what I've always heard I've always heard that like nurses and people on their feet all day wear them and when I it's the opposite

if I like I usually wear them like around the house but if I do wear them out like for a day or whatever, my feet usually hurt at the end of the day. So I'm like I don't know what all the hype is about that. But it's like I'm around the pool and whatever. I mean I just think of Crocs as like part of the wardrobe of like pre-suicide. Right?

I think it's like if someone is wearing Crocs, you're like, whoa, we should check in on them. Right? I agree with you. It's like step someone's wearing Crocs, you're like, whoa, we should check in on them. Right? I agree with Jim. It's like step five of giving up. Yeah. No, you're not wrong. But at the same time, they're doing like – they're like collaborating with Balenciaga. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like I tried to like reach out to them. I was like, do you want to do like a pair together or design? And they were like, yeah. Like we're going to go through Louis Vuitton and then Balenciaga and then ralph laurent we'll maybe get to you like on the list because i was like i was gonna be perfect a bunch of right but if you force losers at barstool it's like free stuff is the best hey if i can at least get that i still find it hard to turn down free food like if there's free food i'm like well you know i don't want to waste money right just bring it home i feel like you're getting free meal offers pretty much everywhere you go i like the free stuff i am like an absolute whore for free well will will you

actually whore yourself out or is it like it has to come to you i mean not physically have sex will you see something and post on social media and be like, it would be cool if I had a pair of these and then they're like... There is... Oh, no, I wouldn't go that far.

But, like, there is something. It's also, like, during the pandemic, it's like, you want to help small businesses and stuff like that. That's what you tell yourself, at least.

But, like... No, but if there is... I do that, too. I don't want to impress everyone, but I have a garden, so when people... You know, they might send me some gardening stuff. I don't want to impress everyone but I have a garden so when people you know they might send me some gardening stuff I don't want to like you know now all the women watching are like I want that guy

but like I enjoy gardening and now people are like oh my god I didn't know he was that cool I have my own garden I you know I know I look like I'm 70 but I know I look like I'm 70, but I'm also behave like I'm 70.

By the way, it's July. It's the end of July and I'm wearing a sweater. Are you dying? Because I've come from November and, no, this is the sweater. It's a free sweater. There you go. It's a free sweater and if I wear it, then...

Wait, what do you mean you come from November? I'm just saying that this is what someone would wear in November. It was a comedic exaggeration. Wait a minute, are you really from the future? Are you from November? What do you mean you're from November? I'm sorry.

Jim Gaffigan was different. I didn't know what to expect from him. You know, he's a clean comedian, but I didn't know he was going to be that edgy. I was like, oh my God, does he talk about his kids? Well, I'll say this. I was in my head going, what country is it November in right now? See? It was confusing.

I feel like I'm talking to Burt Kreischer's sons. God, I get that way too often. Really? Well, Bert did. Were you the guys that he was going to fly to Europe? We did. We went to Amsterdam. We basically are at this point, adopting Kreischer's.

He set it up. Instead of impressing you with his stand-up, he flew you somewhere? You ever get flown to watch someone stand-up, he flew you somewhere. Did you ever get flown to watch someone's stand-up? Because he did a show. We went to the show. But Burt is such a sweetie, right? He's the best. I mean, it was the nicest and coolest experience, so I will never knock it.

But definitely there was a moment of like, you know, like, and he was so generous and paid for everything. And it was kind of like, I was like, I so generous and paid for everything and it was kind of like i was like i'm a functioning adult who can i can pay for dinner too but then when he was like now time to earn it and he took off his shirt in your hotel room you're like what do you mean earn it and he's like it's mr kreischer and then he just started rubbing oil on that belly and he's like come on over, boys. And you guys started crying. You're like, no, Mr. Chrysler, I can pay.

I can give you miles. And then you guys had the weirdest doughy white boy threesome ever. We have done some weird things at Bird. Everything you're saying is so accurate today. This is a very impressive performance by you guys. Now, where are you guys from? You guys have a little bit of a Florida vibe to you. Oh, Jesus Christ.

There's been a lot of insulting things so far. What's wrong with that? Like you said that to be a compliment? No, well, I meant, hey, I'm white trash, and I see white trash. I have a white trash radar. No, but maybe you guys, but like you guys, you know, like there's a little bit like Sam Morales from like New York, but he's trash too. So where are you guys? New York is off November. New York is off.

Little town up north called November. The upper Massachusetts. Oh, that's trash. And I say that with affection. What's that? I say that with affection. It is. I actually.

If you don't have some trash. Yeah. But it's like anything. Yeah, the right amount. It's like, that's why Are You Garbage is the perfect show

because like you go on that show and you don't, I didn't want to come out with them saying I'm classy. Yeah. That's like, I wanted to be trash. There's a little bit of, i don't know pride in it like there's a lot of stuff in my family thing it's very american we want to you know we want success and then we

pretend like we're poor yeah yeah right that's what you got to do you're trying to downplay your garden i know there you go i mean you know it's like everyone's like oh my god he's so cool he's got a garden but it's just like I'm just a normal guy. Can I get a beat here? No. What is the garden? Do you do it like my dad gardens? Yeah.

And I think it's just to get away from us. But there was one time recently actually where I took a video of it. Yeah. It was a torrential downpour. It was historic rains. It was get two of each animal kind of rain. It was crazy. And I walked outside, and my dad was just standing there in the rain gardening.

And I was like, what are you doing? He was like, what? The fact that he didn't get it. He was like, I don't even understand what's wrong here. It's so weird. You know, it's strangely meditative, right? But it's like also like when you think of like when you doom scroll on Instagram or TikTok for three hours, what are you doing there? It's a little bit easier than gardening.

It is. But like there is – it's strangely rewarding. Yeah. And it has nothing to do with the fact that you have 13 kids? What's that? It has nothing to do with the fact that you have 13 kids and you need to get outside a little bit? There is some of that. But you can also plant something and then it grows and then sometimes it dies.

It's fun. Yeah. It's definitely barstool material. Are we talking like flowers or like tomatoes? You think that I would grow flowers? No, it is weird. It's like I only grow vegetables, and I don't eat the vegetables. I just like to grow them, and then I force them on people.

Please take these tomatoes. You've got to try the zucchini. I do feel like the people who grow are always like, my tomatoes are the best or my this is the best. It's like they're probably pretty regular. It is strange because there's nothing really that unique about it. And, you know, like the vegetables I grow, you can get them bigger and cheaper at a store. But it's just fun, I guess. I don't know it is i saw someone say that once where they were

like my wife wants to start a garden and after like 400 of supplies and whatever in three weeks we'll have something we could have got at the store for 45 cents there is something strange because like i don't know have you guys started like as men get older there's things you're like oh my god am i interested in history like there are certain things where you're like I don't know. Have you guys started? Like, as men get older, there's things you're like, oh, my God, am I interested in history? Like, there are certain things where you're like, I don't know how I'm interested in history. I didn't even pay attention in school. You know, there are certain things, like the History Channel. Oh, yeah. Stuff like, you know, gardening.

Did you watch How It's Made? Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm like, I have to figure out how they make banisters on the stairs. Right. I don't know why I made it. And I sit there for an hour like, whoa. Right? And then I'm i have to figure out how they make banisters right i don't know i sit there for an hour like whoa right and then i'm like do you know how they make banisters but there's some guy stuff that i just i you know like the car like i have three older brothers they're all into cars like i don't could you change the tire i could change

like confidently so like i would probably be able to get there but it would be like i would probably mess up three times. I mean, I haven't changed. I didn't have a car for like 30 years, and I did change a tire 30 years ago. But yeah, I guess I could do it today, maybe. I recently popped a tire. It was not a great experience. It was not easy?

Did you get it done? No. Remember I went and I asked that 16-year-old who rolled his eyes at me? Oh, yeah. I wanted to let him know like just you know i have a fucking podcast okay don't mess with me i might reference you by your age but he was like i had to push the car across the street because i popped it on like a like a you know like a route six or like. I think that's literally what it was.

But like just the street with the McDonald's and all those things off the highway. And I had to push it into like a muffler shop. And I was like, I don't know. I know how to physically do it. I knew what to do. But I also just knew if you put it in the wrong spot to jack, it's going to go through the base of the car. And it's not very clearly labeled Where you're supposed to put it So I'm like I'm not going to guess

The last thing you want to do is make it worse In fact I actually was proud of myself I know just enough to know what I don't know That's actually good It's time to stop here By the way when I first My first car This is 30 years ago

By the way I'm 23 30 years ago I had a car My first car And I graduated from college And I was driving around and working in Tampa. It was a Fiero. Okay. My head actually didn't fit in the car. I was going to say, that must have been a clown scenario.

It was a tiny car. I would drive up and my friends would be like, you're too big for this car. And so I drove it for like six months. And then the engine kind of like went kaput. And then I remember I was talking to the mechanic and he's like, so when's the last time you put oil in? And I'm like, I didn't put oil in. Like I was that dumb. That happened to me. I was 21.

I was 35. But my excuse, the check engine light never went on yeah and i was just like never i i don't know maybe cars these days you can change it every like bajillion miles i don't know so if you don't tell me to do it if you know if the gas tank looks full i'm not gonna put gas in it if the oil right and i uh i mean i drove it until it was like it was gunk gunk gunk and it crapped out on me and I had like the last of a very bad string of luck and I was like

Oli what happened to me and people were like you didn't put any oil in your car I remember my parents laughing so hard at me and I was like yeah it's going to be $3,000 and ha ha ha ha I was like can you help me and they were like $3,000. And ha, ha, ha, ha. I was like, can you help me? They're like, ha, ha, ha, ha. My brother once filled the gas tank with diesel.

Oh, my gosh. Didn't realize he grabbed the wrong thing. And boy, that messes up your car pretty good. I had that on a tour bus. A tour bus. Oh, really? The bus driver filled it with diesel. And it was a bit, because that's really expensive.

I was going to say, did they kill him? I think they fired the guy. I'm pretty sure they definitely fired him. That's a tough one to mess up. When you hear things said so confidently, like it's weird. Like mine is a car one, and it's stuck with me forever. And it's like when you're at that age where like you are forming as a person and you just just hear stuff.

My college roommate who drove a nice truck was just like, you don't need oil in cars. And I've never put oil in a car. I've never driven a car long enough to need it. Oh, wow. So you've never even gotten to that. As far as I know, sitting here right now, he's right. Can confirm. No, that's incorrect.

It's not a necessity. I actually have heard, though, that they have made them now where you need to change them more frequently for money. And, like, you know, because it used to be longer. He had, like, an old truck. He was like, I've never changed it. I do think that's the thing. I think if you have an old, well-made, like, American-made car, it's not. And now it's like you have to change it every 25 seconds so that you can come in and pay.

I also had someone tell me once that there was a guy in a gym and he was jacked. And he was like, what's your diet and he was like what's your diet like man and i was sure what diet like yeah and i told him and i was like i was eating a lot of almonds and nuts at the time and he was like don't do almonds bro just make you hungrier and to this day if i was dying of hunger and you're like you want some almonds i'm like it's just gonna make me hungry it is yeah there are things that stay with you. Like I saw, you ever fall into the trap? Because, you know, I'm this fat guy. Normally I'm fatter than this.

And you watch this video and they're like, it's like, it's totally clickbait. They're like, get, remove this from your diet. And then it has this video and it's like a half hour in and they're like, coming up, we're're gonna tell you the thing that you have to remove from your diet and one of them was nuts oh really and tomatoes tom brady effect really no salt no tomatoes no it's himalayan pink salt yeah any special tomato doesn't like any heirloom fruits or yeah i guess that's what it is so here's something crazy so when i dropped off when we dropped my daughter off at college by by the way, I have five kids. She might be the only one that goes to college.

But they had this welcoming ceremony, and these professors gave these speeches. And one of the professors was talking to the students, and he said, you will all mostly live to the age of 100. You will likely have four careers, the last of which you will start at the age of 72. And I was like, what? Because, like, my – you know, in my family, people live to, like – You know, like, I'm on borrowed time right now. Granted, my parents just chain smoked and drank alcohol. Like, I remember, like, thinking, everyone – does everyone's dad go through half a bottle of scotch a day? granted my parents just chain smoked and drank alcohol like i remember like thinking everyone does everyone's dad go through a half a bottle of scotch a day but so like isn't that crazy so like

19 year olds 18 year olds so a baby are probably gonna live to a hundred i've always read in like Time Magazine and whatever that they said someone right now will live to 200. Really? And I'm like – That's a big jump. I don't know, but you always hear that there's always some guy in India who's like 121 or something. Yeah, yeah. It's like – I don't know, but it does seem – I mean living to 120 and God forbid 200 200 yeah sounds awful yeah it does like unless unless like if you know the fun in in life right now is like let's call it zero to 30 right and then things

get tough if the fun goes from zero to 60 if everything shifts then maybe but i mean i think that's too much if i have fun to 60 years yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, I mean, by the way, it's like, you know, people, you know, Biden's 80. But, like, you know, I saw that Raiders of the Lost Ark movie where it was like an action movie. And Harrison Ford's 80. And, you know, like the 80 for Brady. It's like the 80. I don't even know people could live to be 80. And now they're leads of movies and running the country.

It's just bananas. I just found this out recently. My grandmother, when she delivered my mom, who was the baby. By the way, can I say something about your grandmother? Amazing in bed. Amazing. Just so aggressive but amazing. Like just so, so aggressive, but caring.

He's just bodying me. I mean, just naughty. He's so naughty. She used to always be like, do you want the birthday card with $2 in it? And stuff like that. You guys are probably too young to remember that.

But, so your grandma, that whore. She gave birth to my mom. It was the last time she ever saw a doctor. Really? Never once. She smoked like a ton and she knew that and she knew what like every doctor was going to say.

What you're not saying is after she gave birth to your mom she died no but she never eventually got cancer smoked her way through cancer like never fought it never tried to fight it and was just like do you want to go i mean i'm sure she saw some specialists then but like she was like i don't want, you know, no. And she never had a funeral. She's still in that chair. You're not wrong. You're not far off. Really? So I, she came home, like, when it was just like, let's make her comfortable.

And, again, I guess I found out she really doesn't like doctors. So, because part of, in my head, I was like, why wasn't she in the hospital when this happened? But I got a call from my mom being like, you know, grandma's about to die. And she did. And then I still, like, I got there. I still was on my way. And it was just, I was like, I wasn't like a kid. I was like 18 maybe at the time, 16, 18.

And just, you know, grandma dead on the couch. And I saw my first dead body. Any other pick-me-up stories? Well, I was going to say with the new special dark pale on amazon um you you talk about that actually almost at the start and i was thinking about the same thing we're like you want to see the body and i thought of that story of kevin's and then when my grandma died i was living in boston and so my grandparents lived and my parents called me and they were like, Grandma died. Go check on Papa Joe. And I was like, okay. I get to his house and I'm hungover.

I'm like 22 or whatever. I'm hungover. And I get up to his apartment and he's like, she's in the bedroom if you want to see her. And I was like, wait, she's here? I'm the first on the scene? What the fuck? You call anybody else for it?

I mean, that's what's so crazy is I think that human beings, we can't exist in that constant state of knowledge where we're going to die. We'll be right back. So essentially, it is really dark. So we have these moments where we lose these really important people in our lives and we face death. But like I think human beings were like, OK, let's go back to like thinking about, you know, what, you know, trying to pizza at this one pizza place. You know, we can't exist in the reality. And that's I think that's some of why the pandemic was so devastating

is that like the news every night they're like here's how many people died today we were like really all right let's see if we can get two million it was very like hit a million yeah watching like the stock market go up yeah it's so weird that's why it's a great way to to explain it because i always wondered why irish wakes are such a ball and so much fun and maybe it's because we're like ah fuck it let's just right like i remember my buddy let's have a good time my buddy's funeral and i one of my friends ended it with more lipstick on his neck and like lap, lapel, a collar, than I'd ever seen in my life. And I was like, dude, what have you been doing? He's like, oh, everyone's kissing me.

I was like, we were having a good time. His whore grandma died, and I've been cleaning up ever since. So crazy emotion. We just don't want to live with emotion. It's brutal. We'll be right back. Summer is almost over, which means football is almost here, which means college football is almost here.

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have a gambling problem call 1-800-GAMBLING am I sitting in the right position I love how you just put them up let's go you want to unzip

those shoes you go ahead right ahead make yourself at home you really do look great are you down a lot of weight I've lost 8,000 pounds.

No, I'm just always – I mean you're tall, so you carry it. But people always think I'm short. Really? We get that a lot too, but I've never got – People think we are – they are astounded. I'm like how short – they act like they expect us to be like 5'2". It's so crazy.

It's very condescending. You know, that was weird about when I started getting acting roles. It's like I was an athlete in high school, and I played some football, and then they're like, you're the nerd. I'm like, me? What the fuck? I was the captain of the football team. They're like, no, you're a nerd.

Get over here, pussy. And I'm like, all right. That guy was in drama class. This is reversed. So it's kind of strange. You were the captain? I was the center. I was the center.

I've never once thought Jim Gaffigan was small. Yeah. Really? I actually thought you were like nine feet tall. Nine feet tall. A true giant. I thought you were in Game of Thrones. At least.

Right? But you do look good, so good for you. Thank you i'm on uh well i'm on manjaro which is i think kind of like one of those things well essentially it's like i wish it was a better story i was like i met my doctor because you know we when you have five kids, your family doctor, your pediatrician is really your family doctor. And she was like, you're almost pre-diabetic. You got to go on this. And I'm like, oh, shoot. You mean the thing that's going to make me lose weight?

Oh, no. And so – but it is like – it is weird. It's great to not have – because I don't have any control over my eating but now i'm full and i've you know i have is that what it does it like curbs your appetite yeah that's what i need because i'm just a bottomless pit when yeah and you have right now you have the metabolism but when you reach a certain age it's just like your body's like we're done yeah and where you could eat like five big macs now it's like you eat one Big Mac and you're like, I need a wheelchair. I do that with – I used to eat pizza all the time.

You used to eat like a pie yourself. Yeah. And if I have one slice of pizza, I know. Like I don't go to bed that night because I know I have to sleep sitting up. It's brutal. It's brutal. In your glory days, in your heyday, if you were going to impress somebody with your eating, like you had an eating challenge, what would it be?

Like a pizza pie, a big sandwich? I would say, I mean, I might lose you guys because you're Northeasterners, but a Chicago deep dish. You could put down a lot of that. Sausage. You know, because one piece of Chicago deep dish is, I don't know, 40,000 calories. It's like no one needs. It's like a casserole.

I was going to say, it's like a lasagna or something that you're just holding in your hands and eating. And it's like, if you get Lou Malnati's, it's like a complete layer of sausage. That's so much sausage. When I would work in Chicago, I would be at Zany's and I would

be like waiting for them to open. I'm like, oh, I have one of those. And then I'll take it back to my hotel room and I would just go through like one or two of those deep dish pizzas in a weekend, Thursday through Sunday. And it was just brutal. I'd leave the city weighing like 10 pounds more. The Midwest is crazy. I was just like, Midwest is like that. It's one of those things like you

hear it and then when you experience i went to uh minnesota to minneapolis recently and i went to i did like the whole thing i went to mall america everything was huge and i was like but like by like day three there four there i was like i just i need a vegetable i have a vegetable oh yeah and once again like a fairly nice dinner nothing crazy but like a dinner that has like tablecloths and i was like i'm gonna do the pork and thinking like all right it's like a lean meat yeah that came out deep fried it just went with deep fried and potatoes and i was like i i'm sorry i got i just need a vegetable can i just do the side seasonal vegetables came out it was brussels sprouts is maple glazed and i was like come on we put some syrup on there for you you put syrup on the vegetables oh my buddy the elf my uh my wife is from wisconsin

it like i don't know if you spent any time there like the amount of cheese that is placed in front of you when you go to someone's house it's's like 10 in the morning, and they have like four different cheeses, and that's what you have. You're like, all right. And I love cheese, and it is so – but it's like cheese and beer. It's like, oh, we're at this place. You've got to try this beer. And you're like, I've only eaten cheese and drank beer for like four days.

I can't do this. They're like, all right, here, have my pretzel. It's brutal. Pretzel. Speaking of your wife, in Dark Pale, in the special on Amazon again, which I watched this morning because it came out today,

which is a very funny time to wake up and watch comedy. Like 9 a.m. I was in bed. Pop on Dark Pale. I also texted you. I was like, pop on, pop on, Dark Vale. I also texted you. I don't know if you saw the text. I texted you, before we get off, I know we're still going to be on eating habits,

but I have a thing where in my sleep I can't stop eating. Oh, I did see this. It's not just like by his bedside table he left some cookies and he ate it. He'll get up, he We wake up in the morning, the fridge is open, glass is broken. The latest one.

I'll show you the picture. It's despicable. It's like an animal. My doctors recommended I lock my fridge. So that's like, you're going to have a one-man show. You're going to have your Birbiglia show of your sleep eating.

It's been pitched to me many a time. He said, got a popsicle in my sleep last night, but never ate it. So I just woke up with a melted bag and a tongue depressor in there. Because there is like, I remember like in my early 20s,

this was, I don't know if you ever have done this, like you get wasted and you'd order a pizza and then you wouldn't, like you would come and you would just wake up and you don't even remember ordering it and there's like a pizza near the door and you're like, did I order it? I like how you say, I don't know if you've done this,

where I look like a guy who's exclusively done it. I get all my calorie intake. You know what he's got? He's got sheet pockets. Yeah. But I don't know, most people maybe put On like the TV Or a magazine or something He has like

Here's my Reese's Pieces Here's my ice cream Here's my chicken I put peanut butter cups And Sour Patch Kids So I can just reach in Are you 10 years old? Yeah pretty much

But wait a minute Peter Pan Like Never Never Land For sure Is that That's not That's not good And I eat horribly

It is decidedly not good But like that is So you have like candy like you know you're gonna balloon up you know what he works out every day though like he is really so you burn all those calories i guess yeah because he is in good shape but he is it's his teeth are for sure gonna fall out of that that's that's the real issue he's gonna get like but i i've also thought about that like so i go from like 2am to 7am, 8am without brushing my teeth despite the fact that I

get candy in my sleep. But like, I don't know. I go five. If I get candy in a day, I go five hours before I brush my teeth again. That's not good either. I don't know. How often are you supposed to brush your teeth? How often do you brush your teeth? I mean, well, does your mommy tell you to brush your teeth at lunch? I'm a man. I don't brush your teeth i mean well does your mommy tell you to brush your teeth at lunch i'm a man i don't brush my teeth no i uh i'm in morning and at night you brush them at

lunch no no no no if anything i'll there i'll be lazy at night sometimes and i don't know how thorough i do it have you done a full two minutes no like you know if you have an electric, you can push a button and it goes for two minutes. That hurts baby's teeth. Baby can't handle it. When you're supposed to go until the vibrating stops, when I do that, by the first

full minute, I'm like, I got too much spit in my mouth. It's everywhere. My grandfather used to make dentures now like it doesn't exist right like people hold on to their teeth yeah that's true anyway more interesting stuff but the not as interesting as my gardening what i was gonna say earlier was the – from Dark Pale on Amazon. Your wife has a swallowing disorder. Yes.

Which we've actually – not experienced, but experimented with here a bit. I don't know how – I know how bad she is with bread and that. But we have – we had here a thing called Lowering the Bar as a show where you kind of eat gross stuff. And we tried something called Thick Water, which is for people with swallowing disorders. Did she drink that? Well, no. It's progressed where it's – but like that's one of the stages. It has to have a certain viscosity for them to swallow it so that it doesn't go down the wrong pipe.

It is not easy. That's a nightmare. And so – but yeah, now it now it's yeah it's so weird because i was like nervous because there is like in every special you do you get a kind of a reflection of how you treat your family you know what you're saying on things you you know i had toured for a year with this show but like there is part of me i'm like i wasn't too negative about my wife but like some of it it is sarcasm but my wife she you know she had a brain tumor so she has a swallowing disorder and again it's it's something we've

adjusted to it's not like she's at that level but like just when she eats bread it sounds like she's choking but she's not i I mean, it's so funny. I know there was real issues. I felt bad laughing about it. But the thought of, ah, the noise while you're out to dinner. This is good soup. Because it becomes normal. It becomes standard.

And you don't want them to feel bad. It reminded me of watching. And also, I'm a selfish prick. That's some of it. Because it's just such a funny idea. That's some of it. It's just such a funny idea. Like, no, this happens all the time. And it reminded me of a time when we had Nate Bargatze on the show and we were in Nashville.

Oh, yeah. And his wife came and his wife was choking on something. Just like a little like. Not like, you know, she wasn't eating. It's just like that kind of choking. And the whole room popped up. She was dying. There weren't any water bottles around, so we're rummaging through. And it was a very basic choke.

And we're rummaging, getting cups, filling them up. And Nate's just sitting there. He goes, that's my wife. She'll be all right. He goes, I've heard her choke before. She'll be fine. And the way he said it was so funny we find out later on

at every podcast she's choking and she's doing an experiment to see who has the greater source of sympathy for her we did pretty good on that I was ready to call an ambulance Nate's wife's gonna choke out on our show

when I was a baby I used to cry so hard. Because you were a baby. Yeah. I was so dramatic about it. You were very immature. I would. My eyes would go black. How old were you?

So I believe this story is probably like two-ish. Yeah. What a baby. Such a baby. I think maybe even even younger i bet you pooped in your cried about everything but by i i would cry so hard i would pass out i would turn really my eyes would roll back in my head and i would pass out and the first time it was like rush me to hospital and the second time it's happening again and like the tenth time, it was like we're at a family party, and I'm like, ah. And everyone's freaking out.

My parents were like, he's fine. I was like, I think we should have looked into that one more time. Eventually, your parents were like, maybe we should pick him up. Maybe we should respond to these crimes. And the dad's like, no, I want him to be a man. Sparta over here. We had the opposite. It's actually, and if i could be very insulting real quick it sounds like some stuff that happens in midwest babies uh where my brother was born so big he's so fat as a baby he was he was 11 pounds 11

ounces and he was so i feel like that's not his fault it It's not. He shouldn't get cheated for that. You think I want to be this big? It's not like he was sitting there in the womb like, give me some Cheetos. Working out. But he was so like, and he obviously stayed big for a while. But he was so big that when he would roll over, he would pop his own arm out of the socket. No way. Too fat to have limbs. So once he got big enough that he could move and roll himself, it was like a thing in the house.

We had to watch Ben. And my parents would be like, is he moving? Is he moving? And I'd have to pin my little brother. Can't move. We found out later on that you were pulling his arm out of the socket. I don't know. Maybe he rolled over and it happened

i don't know what happened i got him mom that is unbelievable uh yet despite all this you don't have sleep apnea i think i did a whole thing where i was tested and she was my doctor was just like you're just a slob I did the same thing this is anyone who's around me never heard snoring is insanity and I did this thing I went to a I wasn't at home mine was I went

to a hospital and they were like no you're fine anyone I've ever been in the same house as disagrees I've never been more like I was like doctors are quacks. This can't be possible. I can't even mimic the noise. Because you've slept with him. Many a time.

I actually do not understand how he's ever been romantic with anybody. Or like, maybe you do your thing and you go to different rooms. I can't even make a noise to even mimic it. I remember the first time we were in a hotel room and I was like, what is happening?

When people say chopping wood or whatever, it sounds like a chainsaw. It's insane. And he's also – you can like punch him in the face and he doesn't wake up. The fact that they were just like, no, I refuse to believe it. I don't know. Your tongue, your throat, something's going on there. It's a problem. But it's also my best toxic trait is because I become a sound machine and then people can't sleep without me.

Oh, now they miss it? But so you thought you did, like you were not sleeping well or you were just kind of tested to get tested? It was during the lockdown and I kind of picked up. Maybe I do, it was during the lockdown, and I kind of picked up. Maybe I do have it. By the way, I heard if you – I know somebody that got one of those sleep apnea things, and they lost a lot of weight. My dad, he's not overweight, but he did not sleep well, and he gets it. He has it now. And he said – he was like, I'm dreaming for the first time in like 40 years

because he got he had he did the test and he had so many like interruptions or whatever they call it disturbances he was never he was never asleep for more than like two minutes at a time like deep sleep and he was like i am dreaming in like technicolor and he's like i love it i like he's like i go to bed at night he goes about like seven o'clock now he straps in and he's like i you know saw my friends and we i had this memory and all this stuff. And so is his mood different? Is he happier? He hits you less.

Well, I was going to say, he still lives with my mom, so the mood is not changing. But he did say, phenomenal for hangovers. Oh, really? He's like, I pop that on, wake up in the morning, all good, baby. Wow. So he's an alcoholic. So he still hits me. Wow.

Now I want to get on it. I tried. I popped it on just to – I've never slept a night with it, but I was like, I don't know. It takes some getting used to because it is – It's weird, right? Yeah. It's not comfortable. It's the future. I guess so.'s not comfortable. It's the future.

I guess so. I guess so. It's the future. Another topic. I feel like you've just – do you ever feel like observational, slice-of-life humor? Like it's just endless. I feel like you just – sometimes I worry if like – have people heard this before or thought of it before. But it seems to not – I mean you're also so good at it.

So it's like, oh, I never thought of it this way or that way. But it's just amazing that you can have such a great career continuing to kind of cover this. Yeah, I mean I think – well, stand-up is all self-assignment, and some of it is I've toured around enough where I really want to kind of challenge people that come to my shows. Because I went through every food item. You know what I mean? Yeah. Is it a challenge at this point? Yeah.

No, you definitely – some of it is like, all right, I want to tell a story. All right, I want to reveal something embarrassing. Or all right, I want to talk about something a little bit more taboo. And you also, you know, with each show, you also want to purify, you know, like, you know, if there's people that are really annoyed by a topic you're like all right you can leave you know what i mean so it's especially but it's like it's like a good friend you know it's like you guys have friend you you guys have a great hangout but it's not the exact same conversation so that's where the the show has to evolve and be different i mean obviously you want to make sure that

they leave satisfied and the the only thinking is like when he comes back we'll see him again but yeah it has to go somewhere so there is yeah there but there always is that moment of like i've run out of material or like you know because also you know i have kids but i you know i only want to do that for like in an hour and 10-minute show. I only want to maybe complain about my kids for like 10 minutes because I was that guy who was sitting in a comedy club watching comedians talk about their wife or husband and kids and being like, I can't even get a date. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I do want to.

Still appeal. But there is always stuff to talk about and then it is it's so fun though stand-up is so fun still get the kick out of it like oh yeah it's so i'm always so the main thing i i can't even like fathom is how much everybody still goes on the road even after you've made your money and establish your name you're still hitting clubs and tiny towns like you still do. Yeah, it's crazy. It's also, I mean, it's, you know, the weird thing is that it is so rewarding. I mean, some of it is after shows people are like, thank you so much.

And I'm like, I did it for myself. You know what I mean? It's like, it is. I mean, it's fun for everyone. Yeah. But it is, it's, you know, like, there is, like, the creative fulfillment of coming up with a new line or a new chunk is, like, incredible. Like, I mean, I can tell you guys are having fun doing a podcast together. Yeah.

And it's, like, but it is also your job. You're, like, you know, this is great. Yeah, no, I'm very lucky in that sense. Like, we've fooled the entire world into paying us for doing something we're gonna do anyway do you still do you still have that we're like they're gonna find out soon like they're gonna you know the imposter they're gonna get wise you can't have that i mean i would say so much proof that like i mean there is a contrary you know in certain situations like you know if i'm like you know well there are situations where it's just weird

for me to be there like at the grammy awards what am i doing here with like asap rocky what am i doing here like i remember i i had oh i think this – I tried to make this into a joke or a story. But like this was right before COVID locked everything down. There was – I was at the Grammy Awards in L.A. And I had flown in and I had to fly out that night. But I was presenting and there was this red carpet. And you go down the red carpet, and everyone's dressed like they're at a cosplay event, right, or a cosplay event. And I'm just like in a suit. And so, like, and no one wants to talk to me.

Like, they want to talk to, like, you know, Taylor Swift. And so they eventually brought me over to, like,.com and they're like here grammy.com let's start you and so then they're like dressed in evening gowns but it's just so weird and so they're like why are you here and i'm like well i'm here i'm nominated for best female vocalist and they're like oh here we have your award and this is at the beginning of the pandemic like before like it was just affecting Italy and China. And they gave me this water bottle. And I was like, I don't want that.

That's filled with COVID. It wasn't funny. Even back then it wasn't funny. And so I was like, and they're like, ha, ha, ha, ha. And so then I went in and I was presenting. I was introducing K Camilla Cabello. I'm still mispronouncing it. And so I was like, with my manager, I'm like, is it Camilla?

Camilla? Camilla Cabello? Cabello? And he's like, his mother's from Spain. And he's like, you're going to butcher it. So I went up and I introduced it. And I was like, Camilla Cabello. And I got off stage and he's like, you did it wrong. And I was like, Kamiya Cabello. And I was like, and I got off stage

and he's like, you did it wrong. And I was like, oh, great. And so then, you know, they gave the award to Dave Chappelle, which they do every year. And then I left, right? Because I had to get on a plane. So I went to the airport and I'm looking through my Twitter and people were like, Jim Gavigan butchered Kamiya Cabello's name. And I'm like, oh, great. All right, well. And then so then I got on the plane. I landed. I looked at my phone.

People were like, Jim Gavigan's a racist. He's like, and I'm like, what? And just hundreds and hundreds of tweets. And so then what I eventually discovered is that somebody had posted that I, what is the huge k-pop group uh bts bts bts they had said that i had said something about covid about bts which of course i didn't and that's one group you do not want to mess and. And so, like, there's the BTS army. Yeah. And so, understandably, these kids, these 13-year-old kids in Brazil and the Philippines are like, this guy's racist.

Let's go after him. And so, just thousands and thousands. And so, then I call my manager, and he's like, we already know about this. And they're like, did you say that? I'm like, no, I didn't. On screen? Like, on camera, you said something? No, I think think it was like for gram it's so like it was probably there was probably a camera but i didn't say anything about bts because that would be racist

and so uh i was like i gotta address this they're like don't address it don't do anything it'll disappear and so i'm like really I mean I don't want some kid in you know Mexico to think I'm racist or I don't want some kid I you know I have kids I don't want some kid in you know Nebraska to think I'm racist and they're like forget it it's gonna go away and so then the next morning I wake up and I couldn't really sleep because I was like, so like, you know, I don't want people to think I'm a horrible person. And so then I woke up and I was like, you know what? I'm going to, I'm like, this is not true. And by the way, there were some people that were like, you should be able to say that.

And I'm like, no. And so then, so then the next morning I woke up and I was like, I gotta, I gotta clear the air. And like, I was like, I got to clear the air. And I was like, I never said anything. And it went away. Like the outrage machine had moved on to something else. And what someone explained to me, or this is just a theory, is that there were like – and you know that like first of all there is there are these armies but there's also bots that create the outrage that are hot not necessarily hired by bts but like that are

hired to like create some of this stuff and i'm like wait a minute you're telling me and then someone was like it's very important for uh you know i don't know there's just different theories there are a lot of our conspiracy but like it was so interesting to like because i am this guy who doesn't really i make a point of not offending people to like be in that if you can get caught up in it yeah no anybody and it was just crazy have you do you do much internet like social media i mean i i went through a phase where i would post and on twitter and stuff like that but not you know like now i'm kind of like i use it for the purpose of promoting shows that are like or videos or photos of my garden but um no

i don't use it as you know it's like we all evolved and it's there's different purposes right it is the i've recently i'd probably like i'm like six months clean now yeah and it is it's it's jarring to like i was saying i haven't recently or i accidentally looked at mentions yeah and like i my mood changed so fast where i was like no that's not what i meant or like It's jarring to like – I was saying I haven't recently or I accidentally looked at mentions. Yeah. And like my mood changed so fast where I was like, no, that's not what I meant or like – Yeah. And then like it like sent – it didn't send me to spiral. I pretty quickly was like that's crazy how fast that switch went on.

Oh, yeah. But it is when you're like – and then to realize you're like, this might not even be a fucking person right now. Right. What am I doing? You might be talking to a child. You might be talking to a robot. Yeah. It is really – I mean but but by the way the outrage stuff i do these cbs sunday commentaries and this is not as cool as my gardening but like uh where they're just kind

of like i just riff i'm like you know i don't want to travel during summer. And they're rather kind of like basic kind of commentaries, complaining about this or that. And the amazing thing is there's people that are always upset. So if I do something about the tooth fairy, people are like, how dare you bring up the fact that the tooth fairy is not real. I watch this show every Sunday with my four-year-old. It's just crazy. It's crazy.

But you also get the, and I'm not speaking for you, I'm speaking for myself, I want to please you. I didn't know that was happening. I would have done it had I known that person was there. I think there are some people who enjoy and their goal is to upset people and then get that. I'm not trying to do that. I'm just trying to exist and have a good time. If I had known one single kid was there, I would have cut that whole thing.

I just didn't get the information. No, and I have friends. I mean, a lot of comedians love the shock and awe. You know what i mean but uh i used to get my juices flowing and now i'm like i don't want to do this right it's like another day in the trenches where yeah and then you realize that if like you don't have to like i used to be like i know i have to like clarify what i meant or defend my position or defend the joke and now i'm just like who fucking cares.

You also realize it's never going to stop. You might prove first of all those people who like you are going to like you. People who don't like you, don't like you. There's no one who's going to go that tweet changed my mind. No one should ever dislike me. I agree. You have got to be

one of the most likable people ever. The best. Do you get a lot of hate? Not really. I don't think so. You must love a pretty hateful life. I mean, besides my dad, I would say most people like me. I had a kid come up to me.

I went to see Oppenheimer last night. It's incredible if you haven't seen it. Oh, wow. I want to see it. I went to go see Oppenheimer, and I was standing outside the theater. I was getting food from a food truck beforehand and this kid came out to me and he was kind of like

you recognize someone recognizing you and I was like I can feel that kid's going to say something and I turned around and he was like Feidelberg? and I was like yeah, wouldn't you guess and he just goes people fucking hate you man

but yeah and then he just goes people fucking hate you man but yeah you know what's so weird away you know what's so because i have i have like i have all these kids and i should meet some of them is that um there and sometimes we forget like there is some of it is the irreverence like around 17 15 like there's an irreverent i mean i've been meeting people after shows all the time and like some of it is like you know sometimes like teenagers are figuring out irreverence and they love irreverence my son is one of the funniest people i know he loves irre irreverence. He loves Norm Macdonald. He loves just like the shit talking, right? And the thing is, is like I feel like

some of him saying that to you is, you know, and I wasn't there and I don't know what he exactly said, but like some of it is like, that's like a remnant of like the shit talking that occurs online. Yeah, yeah. Like when I hear my... He thinks he's like b remnant of like the shit talking that occurs online.

Yeah, yeah. Like when I hear my son playing video games with like friends and strangers, like the shit that they say to each other. Video games. Whoa. And he's like, don't worry, don't worry. It doesn't mean anything. And so what happens is they do these barbs, and then they do it in real life. They're not used to seeing someone.

So you might have facially been like, huh? Or you would have probably overcompensated like, ha, ha, ha. Or like, I don't care. And the thing is, it's just weird. I'm just saying that like. It's a very weird thing to do. I was like, ha, ha, yeah. First of all, I was like yeah i didn't first i was

like i didn't know that like right here we get a lot a lot of like i like you like but you know there's a lot of terrible comments about you but i like you so keep on no how about just saying i like you right and yeah this kid didn't even like usually yeah, when he hit the butt, I was like, he's going to say, but he likes me. And he just went, but, yeah. And I was like – How old was he? He actually – he looked younger than most people who do it. He was like sunburned.

He looked like he'd been to the beach. You had a bad run at the movies. You got the five-year-old staring at you. Dude, I had – so I went to see the Barbie movie. And there was – I was right on an aisle. And there was a family in front of me at one point the mom decided I'm not going to

this kid is a little out of hand I'm done, I'm tapping out and to be honest the kid wasn't being that bad I think he was just squirming or whatever and the kid got up and he just stood in the aisle, and he just stared at me. Like, Kevin's me. I'm him.

And he stood there standing. And I was just like, I don't have kids. I don't interact with kids a lot. So I was just, like, staring at the movie. I was like, just don't give him the satisfaction. Don't give him the satisfaction. And for five minutes, this kid just stared at me while I had to stand there and watch the Barbie movie. That's so funny.

You know what I get a lot of? I'll be in a restaurant or a bar after a show, and the most beautiful woman in the world will come up to me and she'll say, My grandfather loves you. And I'll be like, Thanks. That's great. And I'll be like, loves you. I'll be like, thanks. That's great. And I'll be like, thank you. My great-grandmother passed down tale of you on the Mayflower. It's a lot of my dad, my mom.

And I'm like, but I'm so young. What are you talking about? I'm on Majuro. I'm young. I'm hip about i'm on majoro i'm young i'm hip i'm edgy but yeah no it is strange it's there's an evolution that i feel like there is you know people kind of invading your space but i think this is a relatively new phenomenon which i don't know if you guys have encountered this where people will not people used to be like hey i don't know if you guys have encountered this where people will not people used to be like hey i don't want to bother you but can i have a photo and now people are like hey i don't want to bother you but can you call my sister that's and i'm like i got a video can you make

a video from i'm like what do you mean like yeah just call my sister and you're like but like i i don't know you're i mean no and're like, please just call my sister. She's at work. And you're like, you're like, no, man. I mean, I'm at dinner with my family. And they're like, you can't just call my sister. Like, there is something so odd about it. It is so funny because I've had that happen to me.

I've thought about that. And these are decent people. This is not some mentally ill person. They would be normal like in any other setting. Yes. I've had that happen to me. I've thought about that. And these are decent people. This is not some mentally open. They would be normal like in any other setting. Yes. I've had that happen to me. I've thought about that. But that is such a piece of material you would do.

The way he said that made me realize how fucking insane that is to be like, call this person that you do not know at all. Yes. Just because I like you as a, the work that you do. Imagine being like, you know, oh, you're, you know, you do great, like landscaping in my house. Can you call? Yeah. And then, you know, it's like, and probably a million years ago, I probably at one point

did it. So I know how awkward it is. You're like, hey, how you doing, Sarah? And Sarah's like, who is this? It's me. No, it's not. It is. You're like, hey, how you doing, Sarah? And Sarah's like, who is this? It's me. No, it's not. Jim Gaffigan. She's like, no, it's not.

Why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? And the brawler's like, it's so weird. And you're just this guinea pig on some prank. You know what? You're the victim. It is. Because they're never excited.

They're always like, what? Who is it? They're like, I'm picking up my child from school. Why are you calling me? They probably tell the story for the rest of the live show. You know what I mean? I've done it before after shows. I'm like, it's John Feidelberg.

The guy from Barstool? Why did you have to take clearly? They don't even really like me. What is this for? They better cry tears of joy the minute they hear my voice or see my face. If it's just like, oh, cool, then what are we doing here? It is crazy. Of all the great things in life, number one has to be getting high wherever you want,

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there, grab some Kyle Cush merch or even some gummies. KFC radio listeners get an exclusive 15% off all of 3G's premium THC products. Go to 3G.com and use code KFC15 to get 15% off your purchase. Must be 20 or older to purchase. Please use responsibly. So we've talked before, and I probably asked you this, but when it comes to the clean material is that um that's just your sense of humor or that was like a business

decision jesus wants yeah and jesus that's what jesus needs no well some of it is it's you know i think comedians and maybe i i've i've answered this when I've asked before. Sure. Comedians just kind of do what they're going to do and then they get credit or criticism for it. People are like, oh, you're being so outspoken. I'm like, no, you should hang around her. She is outspoken. That's what she does.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And so some of it is I come from a small town and that's not to say that I don't curse in everyday life but if I'm talking about something like muffins it's not necessarily to say fucking muffins are fucking awesome do you know what I mean? I don't know that was funny

also it's just like that's how I talk but it's also you're from the northeast I'm from like a small town in Indiana like if I said fucking muffins where I grew up, people would be like, are you okay? Well, this is the reason why I ask it because have you ever thought about just like breaking bad? Like if you just came out one day and did a set and you were like, what the fuck is up, Wisconsin? And just like, you know, I've made my career.

I'm good. I don't have to worry. And you just – you go rogue one day. Yeah, I mean some of it is I think comedians, there is a little bit of a darker side to a comedian that's not necessarily for public consumption. But I do think that authenticity is so important. So if I was – and by the way, when I started, I used to curse. I used to smoke on stage. Wow.

I really wanted to be David Tell. You had sex on stage too, didn't you? I had sex with your grandma. But authenticity is kind of important. And I think an audience can sniff it out. Yeah, totally. So it's – But, yeah, I mean if you're – I think if you were –

If you're trying to be right because there's you go to a comedy show you go to gotham you're gonna see whoever the hot comedian is there's going to be these new comedians they're like oh they're doing melanie yeah or oh they're doing chappelle yeah you know it's just it's just kind of uh but they're finding their way but you know melia is an interesting point because, you know, a guy who was a clean comedian and then went through something and then now he's a drug addict.

He's a drug addict. Yeah. Not clean at all. But I mean, I think it's so funny. Cause I, I, I feel like with like,

uh, you know, his special was great. And there's like, comedians are like, I wish I had a drug addiction. You know what I mean? There is. What a great promotional vehicle that was. It's also the source of material. It's like five kids. Oh, man, you got a lot of horror in your life.

When bad shit happens to you, do you think? Not necessarily. horror in your life when bad shit happens to you do you think like not necessarily because we'll be we always like it's gotten to an unhealthy point where actually it's healthy in some regards when a casual everyday bad thing happens nothing really bad i'm like okay well at least i can make this into a positive yeah then there are some times where i'm like this is really bad and i wish it was not happening but also tomorrow's going to be pretty funny on the podcast how you process it and it is

you know I think it is kind of a form of therapy to make light of it and to share because everyone goes through those experiences maybe they don't have the teenager saying people don't like you but like they have that at work

everyone at this job don't like you. But, like, they have that at work. You know what I mean? They have that, like, you know, everyone at this job doesn't like you. It's so weird. Did you – was there a point in your career where – because I do also think sometimes the clean tag is a little bit used, like, almost condescending, right, like in a negative way. But then also you reach a point where it's undeniable. Like, I mean, there's actually all the clean clean comics i know are you know nate you jeff foxworthy uh millennium when he was like they were all like the best ones so it's funny

that it kind of had this you know this little stigma about it but was there a point where you felt that and then a point where everyone was kind of like oh never mind like it doesn't matter what he's talking about he's the goat like he's got specials i think it is it you know it's like all these all these adjectives uh it just matters if it's funny or not you know i mean and it is also one of the i mean but if i were a 17 year old i'm like let's watch the clean comedian you're like i don I don't want to watch. I want to watch a funny comedian. Do you know what I mean? Like you also, you know, like you wouldn't, you're like, if someone was like, this comedian's very well-dressed.

You're like, I don't care. I want to know if they're funny. Well, that's why all those, the ones I listed, it's almost like they are comedians who happen to be clean. I would never call them because they're just funny. Yeah, like Nate's so funny. Nate's unbelievable. And it's like, it's in a way,

it's a mischaracterization to describe him as clean. Yeah. Right, right. And also it's funny, when I used to hear clean, I would think like, like they're like,

almost like up on a pedestal. Like Nate's best friend is Dan Soder, who is the filthiest person on the planet. Right, right. And you know, Nate had his time where he was a dog. And it's like when you realize that you can just be a regular person and tell regular jokes.

Speaking of that, you're going on the road with Seinfeld. Yeah. What do you and Seinfeld do on the road? We make love. Like, do you guys? When we go and you're homeless people in different tax brackets and all that thing like when we go on our road to do our little cute little show we'll go and like we'll check out the local town do you and seinfeld do that

no shot well some of it is i would rather die i mean he has had a level and he's been famous for so long. Like when you walk around with him, like he is for, you know, 40 years had to. And he's in New York City where his show was set. So it's like he has to be like he has an efficiency of like, thank you very much. And he starts moving. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so like, no, thank you.

I don't want to do that. You know what I mean? In a very polite kind of thing but like when i've when i do and you know mostly just in the city you know like we might meet up at gotham comedy club and then we'll just hang out afterwards and some of it is but like where in the club you mean like yeah okay yeah and just kind of talking comedy theories. And some of it is – but not like – he's such a comedy mind that he doesn't get into gossip. He doesn't get into some of know, us giving each other shit, talking about sleeping with his grandma.

He doesn't. He's more about, like, you know, like, it's interesting the construction of this or that. It's like talking to Aristotle. Yeah, yeah. I see that. But it's like, you know, it's like Brady and Manning talking about their quarterback mechanics. Yes.

Yes, it is. It is. It is. Some of it's mechanics and also it's exactly like that. It is like really interesting. And also because some of these hard truths about comedy are still there. And so like some of it, he's been around. I mean, like I think he did tonight show in 78 or something like that.

Holy Jerry. Wow. So it's like he's been around. Like, I think he did Tonight Show in 78 or something like that. Holy moly. Jerry, wow. So it's like he's been around, like, he was a star in the 80s. Yeah. So, like, his perspective is, and he's, you know, like, obviously he had the success of the TV show, but he's also, I mean, I think for a comedian to transcend a decade is pretty impressive. Yeah. So it's like – but he's going on decade upon decade upon decade that like – and you have to adjust, right? So it's like you guys probably when you started this, I mean, how much younger were you? Ten years younger?

Ten years, yeah. So it's like you guys are different men than you were. And so he's adjusting. And his stand-up is far more personal than what was needed in 1982. Like in 82, you didn't need to reveal anything. But now we're in this age where there is an exhibitionist. We're in this age of Kardashians where you have to like – the reality shows didn't exist in the 80s so now but like if people tell stand up and they don't reveal something about themselves people are not interested so you have to reveal something it's interesting where do you think that stops like yeah i mean you don't want to go full kardashian right i mean or do you they're

billionaires i mean it's working out for them i yeah i like i totally regret how much i talked about myself and posted pictures and everything yeah because once you do it you can't undo it you know so i always tell people like you go ahead and do it if you want but like think about it first or maybe hold on another year or two or whatever. Cause once you do, you can't, you can't undo it, but it does feel, I feel like I also use it as a crutch. I think it's like,

if you don't have a really good joke to tell or really something funny, a funny story, you can say like, look at this thing that happened to me or, you know, and it's like kind of a cheap way to, I'm relatable. And there is some value in that, but i think the truly funny moments and funny material is like i

can you know start joking around about anything in this room or anything i don't have to tell you about what me and my wife did or right yeah so it's but then it also really can i think this day and age where you can connect with fans and they want to know and you know i think burt was even saying he looked at like the analytics of his social media and when he posts stories on instagram of his family it's like just like them like you know hanging out by the pool but people like i want to see i want to see the kids that you've talked about i want to see leanne i want you know right and part of that is like this is kind of weird, but also it's understandable. And I don't know. We're still really all kind of blazing this trail together.

It's still very, very new in terms of the internet and all that. Right. And you think of like, I mean, Burt is so interesting because it's like, in a way, he's kind of like a modern-day Jimmy Buffett, right? It's a lifestyle brand. It is. It is. And Rogan is also a motivational lifestyle brand too, right? I mean, he has so many facets.

It's like almost frightening, right? So it is interesting. But also, do you want that do you want i think burke does want it oh you know what i mean but i think you found a great a great in between because i know about how you know you're you have so many kids and like i know your family but i don't you know i don't know their names i don't know what they look like i know personal details about them so it's like you've opened up and you know that oh oh, that's Jim, the family man who has a bajillion kids. But you are not like using them or exposing them or any of that.

You've done, I think, I don't know if that was intended or not. It was some of it was just navigating. Like, I feel like I'm the only comedian that doesn't have a podcast. Right. But there is something. You're losing out on so much money, Jim. navigating, like, I feel like I'm the only comedian that doesn't have a podcast, right? But there is something. You're losing out on so much money, Jim. Your podcast would kill. There was something about the whole, when the podcast thing, because it's been around for a while, right?

Is that initially, I was, you know, I kind of viewed it as, first of all, I'm lazy and I don't want to do anything. But like, well, some of it is I also love acting and I would rather do that. But I kind of thought that would take away some of the mystery. It wouldn't be as special if people saw a stand-up show. But what I realize now is that you look at Segura or you look at bert or joe it's like so huge like it's massive like arenas in australia huge and like they had never been to australia but because of the force of the podcast it was so gigantic but i think if you're talking hours daily people are gonna have a familiarity with you that is

you can't find that anywhere else you know what else the podcast provides like if you talk to them one of the things that they said two bears really exploded on was the clip with burt drinking the 54 ounces of kool-aid a day he drinks a massive cooler, a thermos of Kool-Aid. Right. And it was funny because Tom was like, what are you drinking, Kool-Aid? Joking. Yeah.

And Burt was like, yeah. And then he was like, what do you mean? What's wrong with that? And it was something that would never – Burt was not going to write a joke about it because in his mind he thought it's normal. And Tom would have never seen it if they weren't doing it together. And so all of a sudden this kind of thing that becomes this unbelievable promotional vehicle

and this funny joke was never going to happen if they didn't have a podcast. It's like you can save material and you've got to juggle that, but also just the way you interact and certain things that occur, you would only find through a podcast and that's where you find like i'm sure like in 20 years there there's going to be like a college class on like why certain podcasts and i think that burt and uh segura uh you know because i'll never call him by tom no but uh that they are kind of a reflection and maybe it's the same dynamic you guys have like there is you know like bert is everyone you know in all male friendships there

is the slob and there is the guy that's like come on it's like ernie and bert yeah yeah yeah and so tom is kind of the the guy come on bert yeah it's like are you a sagura or are you yeah yeah everybody yeah no that is a great modern day like bert yeah totally so it's but there is something but i feel like the podcast thing with the two handles the two i mean it's some of it it goes there's roots in like radio but like because i because I grew up in Chicagoland, and there was Steve Dahl and Gary. I mean, you guys are too young. But it was like, I grew up listening to these guys, and it was like. They were like sports talk?

No, they were talk. And maybe there was this disco demolition. Have you ever heard of that? But I was like a little kid. They literally just blew up disco records in between a White Sox doubleheader. Physically? They destroyed Comiskey Park. It was a historical event.

It was like the first time they ever canceled a game for anything besides rain. It was a huge deal. And so it was, like, I do think that the podcast, I mean, you guys and, you know, Two Bears, One Cave, is like, it's this thing that, like, is kind of like the guys, not like the bro code kind of thing, but like that men are dumb and we need to, like, be in pairs. Totally. Right? Yes. kind of thing but like that men are dumb and we need to like be in pairs totally we don't know how to be friends so here we are together i don't know what affection is right i want to have sex with women you know i mean like we don't know how to process

it is funny watching the pot like there have been some heavy moments on the podcast. He was 22 when we started. I went from a single guy to getting married to getting divorced, having kids. You watch dogs and moving houses. It's crazy. It's all documented. It's crazy. It's pretty wild.

It's weird because I'm so much younger than you guys. I don't know what that's crazy. And it's all documented. It's crazy. It's pretty wild. It's weird because I'm so much younger than you guys. I don't know what that's like. You'll see what happens for you soon. I'm like a young, cool dad. You guys are like old and boring. Look at my boots. I have zippers. Well, rest assured, if you ever did want to dabble in the podcast game,

no doubt in my mind it would be. And I would drop him like a bad habit if he wanted to make this a duo. I'll be the cool guy and you're the slob? I'll be the slob. I love how there's just random bottles of booze all around here. It's on my side.

There is like, is that a bottle of wine? That's a nice bottle of wine, sir. Caymus is top notch. You want it? It's all yours. It's actually one of the best bottles of wine. A fan of ours sent it as a housewarming

for... Oh, it's like, is that a red or a white? Red. That's why the color is dark. We also have... I know so little. Is the light green is that red or white I had a buddy once ask

on a date he was trying to impress a girl and he said is your merlot red and he's particularly like you know a jock and we were like oh god it's fine if you don't know but to be like okay I'm going to impress the girl. Ready?

Is your Merlot red? Oh, my gosh. There is something. I feel like men, we are born with, like, no information. Whereas I feel like women arrive with a basic knowledge. They have, like, a download. They have a certain knowledge that, like, some guys were just like, wait a minute. All right. knowledge that like some guys were just like wait a minute all right i mean when you think of like

even us driving on different sides of the road than like in the uk like that's weird crazy that's like someone was calling up and going hey you drive on the right side of the road and they're like yes we drive on the correct side of the road it's just weird i i think about that i went i was in amsterdam recently and everything was in metric metric yes yeah and we had gotten this argument that everyone thought was incredibly dumb but i was like we actually for temperatures we do it right and team fahrenheit and everyone's like you're idiots like scientifically i was like my brain is so dumb that like fahrenheit works because like when it's 100, I know it's 100 hot. When it's 60, 60% hot out.

It's a very simple. You know what the conversation we had today was? We talked a little bit about Oppenheimer and then like the conversation kind of like kind of hit like an end, a lull. And then he just goes to me. So why is what's so bad about communism? And I'm on the other end, and I go, I don't know either, man. I don't know why it's so bad,

but I just know it is, okay? It's led to the death of a lot of people. There it is. Yeah. Don't provide me that answer. Right, right. Because the guys who liked it really sucked we were i was having that conversation kevin was driving this is on the phone it wasn't on the podcast we're just talking and it was like 9 a.m i was naked in bed with a melted popsicle about to pop on dark pale i don't need to know

he watched your special naked does that make you feel a certain way? I mean, the melted Popsicle, is that a metaphor? It was naked on a bed with no sheets. Oh, God. That's sad. That's some crack house shit. No sheets? I had done my laundry earlier in the day. Was this sheet off the bed covering a dead hooker?

Dark pale, baby! I love it man I mean we could talk to you forever but I don't want to take up too much more of your time so dark pale is on Amazon you don't even need this promotion I appreciate you coming by thanks for having me you're a legend man thank you so much. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.