KFC Radio - Jim Norton, Robbie Fox Almost Gets Murdered By Russians, and When To Buy A Vespa

Episode Date: October 9, 2018

Jim Norton visits Barstool HQ to discuss the state of comedy, the rise and fall of the Opie & Anthony Show, and whether her worries about the politcal climate when trying to be funny. Robbie Fox is back from Vegas after a wild week as part of Team McGregor and being threatened by Khabib's entourage. Voicemails include: what would you be arrested for, Bang Bus or Scooter, dating cousin, 1st date at a wedding, watching porn with girlfriendYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Great. Today's episode is brought to you by Thursday Boots. The Barstool Boot is sold out. You can still get a number of boots from them, as well as bags, boots, all sorts of leather goods. They got all sorts of cool designs, silhouettes, materials, all that. Not as good as the Barstool boot 1.0

because 2.0 is on the way. We may have had a little meeting. A little powwow. A little sit down. A little design powwow. It's just when we get together in the room and let the artistic feelings flow. There might be some more in the works. It might not

just be boots. There might have been some Sherpa involved. Might be multiple boots. Things got sexy. We might be stopping a podcast and becoming fashion designers. We might just start our own boot company. Like, sorry, Thursday. We're starting Wednesday Boots.

And you are now our direct competitor. So go to Thursdayboots.com. Check out everything they got to offer. Be on the lookout for more. It smells so good in there. Oh, it does. That leather good. They need to make that like a c offer. Be on the lookout for more. It smells so good. Oh, it does. That leather. Good.

They need to make that like a, a cologne or at least a car freshener. Just leather goods. Oh, it definitely is. But yeah, Thursday specific. Yes.

The Barstow boots specifically. Yeah. Oh, there you go. So go to Thursday boots.com. Check it all out and be on the lookout for more Barstow collab. First things first, we got Jim Norton on the program.

His illustrious return to mail. Mail time was his first time. I was going to say John had never talked to him, but I did. So Jim is back at Barstool, I said, for the second time, but not since the reshuffle of KFC radio where we get fights in the mix as well. So I think we actually might also re-release the first interview. So if you like this one tomorrow, I think we're going to do a throwback. So you can just hear, cause that's where I really dove into, uh,

Jim's like come up and, and everything about his early days. Um, this, we sat down with him and talked more about the state of comedy and, uh, what you can and can't say and how, what you can and can't get away with.

And it turns out he had some good advice. He is. I mean, I said it on, he said it on the interview. Like I, he's one of the OGs. So i kind of really respect where he comes from on it because he's also not an asshole he's not an idiot i think there are some comedians who just say dumb shit or rile people up to say it jim's like i say it when i believe it you know and so i was interested to

hear about his take on you know our hit pieces and louis ck all that. So some deep stuff with Jim Norton. We'll get into it right now. It's brought to you by 15 SOF. Yeah. All right. It's brought to you by 15 Seconds of Fame. It's the mobile app delivering users their personal Jumbotron and TV appearances from live events. This is actually a genius idea.

I wish we invented this. Yeah. We might have to start this as well and be a direct competitor. If you've ever been on the Jumbotron at a baseball, basketball, football, or hockey game, the 15 Seconds of Fame app will send you the video. So everyone live gets to see you up there doing some dumb dance or shouting and hollering, but

if you want to have that forever, 15 Seconds of Fame will hook you up. Whether you're at the game with friends, family, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, it's cool to save those moments, share them on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Because really, if it doesn't go on the ground, it never really happened. And there's nothing worse than when someone's on the Jumbotron and they're just recording themselves

on the Jumbotron. And I get why you want to save that moment, because it is something you tell your family. Right, but then you're wasting your moment filming your moment. It's almost more for the other guys. Like, I gotta get that video of Final Mark being a fucking idiot on the Jumbotron. No, I don't like this idea anymore. Yeah.

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It's 15 Seconds of fame is the app. Download it now. Jim Norton, what's up? All right. Big time guest returning here to KFC Radio for the second time. The legendary Jim Norton joins us. Thank you for having me. I hate compliments.

I'm so bad at compliments. Yeah. I think we were talking about last episode. I was the same way. My parents and cousins used to tease me as a kid being like, oh John, you look pretty today and I was like, I don't know why they say pretty I'm handsome maybe

Endowed for being pretty I'd run away, I'd be horrible It's scary, because I'm not going to live up to it so I would always rather when I'm going on stage say ladies and gentlemen, prepare for average and if I exceed it, great The mediocre Jim Norton is here Much better now

I like to keep the bar as low as possible I've been preaching that whether you're at work, relationship for average. And if I exceed it, great. The mediocre Jim Norton is here. Much better now. I like to keep the bar as low as possible. I've been preaching that whether you're at work, relationships, whatever it may be. Keep it low and exceed expectations. Yes, keep them low and then you just look better when you go past where they think you're going to go. But you're being self-deprecating now. You have a very prolific career.

Very esteemed and accomplished job. Thank you. It's okay. You know, it's weird. Like, but you know, I look at people I know like Kevin Hart or, or, or Bill Burr, Amy Schumer, or just people who are like selling on arenas. So it's like, it's a good, I love my job and my career, but then you look at other people and you go, oh yeah, you can technically sell 17,000 tickets a night. So I'm still shit. That is wild, man.

I mean, we've, we've dabbled in a live show, more just live podcast, not, you know, stand up routines, but you know, we did Carolineabbled in a live show, more just live podcasts, not stand-up routines. But we did Carolines, and then we graduated to the Wilbur in Boston. And the Wilbur was like the most terrifying experience of my life. Oh, really? I can't imagine being in the middle of an arena looking up to the nosebleeds. You know, the classic Dane Cook style. Oh, my God.

When Dane Cook was at the Garden. The Fleet Center still was on. I think I saw him there, too, in Boston where he was shooting a special. Yeah, it was this one or whatever it was, the hand? I think I saw him there too in Boston where he was shooting a special. Yeah, it was this one or whatever it was. The hand signal. Yeah, Sufi. I was up there doing,

we were broadcasting, it was Obie and Anthony at the time and Dane happened to be doing a special so I went and saw it. It was just Dane on a round stage. It was like 360, everyone was around him. 360 sold the whole place out, two shows, and I'm like,

he looks really good in an arena. Like fucking Dane worked in an arena well. That's not an easy thing to do. He worked in an arena perfectly. I remember, we went, it was, I mean, I think I was in high school at the time or something like that, but I had abs after that. It was, he fucking was. He had a run, man.

I was like a sophomore in college-ish, and I didn't know who he was, and people, he came to our school, it was like a spring weekend, and I was in stitches, man. He had a hot run, dude. But I mean, seriously, you, you, you're selling yourself short here. You do, you do. And I feel like you're from the old guard and you're really like, uh, at least I've,

I find, uh, I really respect your opinion on comedy and on like the landscape of the industry. So we here, uh, this past week kind of ran into every like three, four months we run into some sort of drama. Someone, someone writes a hit piece, someone has a problem, there some drama about you guys yes okay and usually it's the same like four or five jokes over the years that we maybe went a little too far or at least in 2018 it's considered too far um and then you know sponsors get get nervous some pull out some ride with us and i wondered uh you know you you've been you know you've you've been doing it as the landscape has changed if you let's say you're giving advice to us you know hypothetically yeah like what where do you kind of draw the line like hey business is

business we can't be losing sponsors left and right but you also got to stay true to like the comedy and the and the content where do you fall sure and everybody by the way this this whole new thing wherever if you if you kind of are thinking smart and business wise, and then there's these people that will go, you're so nuts Hey look, Richard Pryor didn't go on the Tonight Show and say fuck. You always have to kind of know, there is a business end to it

Carl and the same thing, these guys knew what they could do and what they couldn't do My advice is just be true to what you're saying and always be able to justify what you said. Like anything you say that's rough, as long as you can explain why you said it, I think you have a good defense. Right.

But if you just go out and start dropping N-bombs for no reason, somebody would go, why'd you say that? For shock value. Just because, then you sound like an asshole. It's not a good reason. Sponsors won't stand by you if you're worried about sponsors. But I think if you can at least back up what you're saying, even if you do get fired, at least you'll know why I didn't go out being stupid.

Have you changed your routine or your style at all? Not really. I mean, I'm 50. So as you get older, your outlook changes. But no, I've really never had to. No one's ever. Do you mean that at this age you're really not saying as much controversial shit as you once did maybe? Meaning you're not as angry as you used to be and you don't lash out the way you used to.

But that's just a normal fucking part of getting older. You know what I mean? Like, I like my apartment, I have a fun job, what the fuck am I complaining about? Like, things are good. I hear you. You know, I get blown once in a while. Like, that was always my anger. I'm like, I'm getting blown! And then you start getting blown. What am I fucking mad about? Yeah. I've always said that when, you know, there's a tragedy, a school shooting

or something terrible, and you see these kids, I'm like, just go get a blowjob, man. Life would be a lot better. It would be a choice. If you hung out with some chicks and had some fun, maybe you wouldn't be as angry. You mean the kid. I think people who were the victims. The victims.

No, no, no. Even a blowjob won't fix that. No, you get shot, you get shot. When these kids were so mad at the world, I'm like, I just probably think you haven't had your first blowjob yet. These incels, these involuntary celibates or whatever. Yeah, these assholes that want to go out and make everybody else miserable because they're socially awkward or frightened. They don't know how to talk to girls or whatever the fuck it is. But yeah, no, have I changed?

Not really. I mean, there's nothing I can think of that I want to say on stage that I don't. Like, I'm never on stage going, fuck, I wish I could say this and I don't. Now, fans may go, he's changed. But I'm telling you as a person there's nothing that's not the same exactly we talk about that again with the kind of the controversies that get drummed up around here

whereas like back in the day it used to be sound the alarm like let's attack everybody and nowadays it happens I'm like I don't I just don't care it happens so often whether or not it's because we have some success or whether or not it's because I just have slipped into unsavable apathy. But whatever the reason is, I just don't give a fuck anymore.

I can't. I can't. Sure. And I don't think I'm faking it. Like, I wish I could get angry at that person. Like, I'm just, I'm not angry. If you don't like the site, you don't like the show, that's fucking fine. I don't really care.

There are people who do. And part of succeeding is you get barstool, which means you have a target on your back because it's a big brand. So that's the way it is. They notice you faster than they would notice you if you weren't with a big name. So it's like part of that comfort. We had someone, you know, I don't know how closely you follow sports, but like, do you know Gritty?

And the Flyers new mascot? Oh, Gritty rules. Gritty's the best, right? Oh, I love him. Ah, but what's he going to do next? Little rascal. He came to the office, and he did a pizza review with our boss, Dave, and he fucked around in the office. Someone said today that Gritty let us down.

That was a quote. Gritty went to Barstool Sports. Gritty let us down. The fucking mascot. For associating with us. A sports mascot ate some pizza and that is letting down a group of people

he said fuck everything which is like when there's a terrorist attack that's what people say about the world because a fucking mascot came and ate a slice of pizza with somebody

I love the mascots though they're always falling nothing I enjoy more when they slide in a second look at a little guy go I do appreciate second something. Look at the little guy go. There you see the one in the... I do appreciate Mr. Met

flipping off the Mets fans last year. I honestly respect. Or if the Philly fanatic was ever arrested for hitting somebody with a bat across the teeth, I would respect that. Now you're representing the fans. They had that one in Colorado the other day, Colorado College. Chip the Buffalo? Shot himself right in the fans. Yeah. Yeah. They had that one in Colorado the other day. Colorado College.

He had a t-shirt on. Chip the Buffalo. Shot himself right in the dick. It's the best thing I've ever seen. That's better than the R. Bud Dwyer footage. They carded him off. It was unbelievable. The R. Bud Dwyer footage, by the way, it's terrible to say.

It's my favorite footage ever. It's the most. Because it was a news conference. It was unbelievable. Who brings a gun in a bag? It's a fucking awful lunch bag. It's my favorite footage ever. It's the most. I use that. It was a news conference. It was unbelievable. Who brings a gun in a bag? It's a fucking awful lunch bag. Expecting a bologna sandwich. Stand back so no one gets hurt.

Responsible. That was your probably most used picture on the internet. Every time, you know, one of my teams lost or I was exaggerating the fuck out of something, I would put that up there. You know, there's an example like that. You know, I can't use that anymore. Have you tried tried i feel like that's grandfathered no i tried i tried really yeah and that's actually what you were saying like you don't ever find yourself being like i wish i could that is actually one thing where i'm like if i if the times didn't change i would be dropping

the arbud dwyer picture all the time but that's also the you know risk reward to me it's like that's a funny tweet i get a kick out of, but it's not worth jeopardizing this whole thing for one black and white picture. That's true. But it is funny. I do find it funny. It's very funny. Because this is the difference between compromising what you really want to say and like, all right, well, I don't really care about saying that at all. Right.

And it will get me fired. Have there ever been moments on the radio where I was careful? Yeah, you have to be because I'm going to get fired. I mean, I'm not a fucking idiot. It's a billion dollar corporation series. They'll fire me. Right. Um, but if they, if they came in and said, look, don't curse, don't disagree, but they've

never fucked with me for content. Not once. I can never think of them going, Hey, don't make fun of this or Hey, don't take this position. And all the years I've been there. Did you, was there ever a, was there a period, like a cooling off period after Opie and Anthony drama where it was like, let's really watch what we do or you really just kept it moving there? No, I mean, after me and Opie split,

we didn't like each other anymore. So when we finally split, I'm sure he's relieved. I was relieved. He was doing a show in the afternoon and I was doing the mornings with Sam. So no, it was like, oh, I just breathed easy because I didn't have to look at him. And I'm sure he felt the same way. What led what led to that because we always joke around we've been doing

this for 10 years the show for about seven and you know it does seem whether it's Mike and the mad dog or you know you guys it seems like everybody eventually we're getting albatrossed right now eventually we you know everybody seems to be at each other's throats and I'm looking at this fuck I'm like am I to hate this guy one day? It depends on how you communicate. Whenever you're creatively doing something together with a person, you don't have a cooling off period. If you get mad at somebody in the office, you just go to your cubicle. You don't have to talk to them live for four hours.

So what happens is you have to make eye contact with somebody who you want to smash in the fucking face. That can help you get over it faster, and it can also help it fester, because then they see every time, like, you're not into what they're saying. I'm a really horrible at faking that shit. So Opie would always know that I was just not enjoying myself, and I could tell by him and his lack of eye contact, you can't hide it. Right. So you don't have, like, two or three days to not look at each other.

Right. So, you know, it just begins to build. See, I'm good. I have Asperger's. You've known that forever. I never look him in the eye, so I'm going to not look at each other. Right. So, you know, I'm good. I have Asperger's. You've known that forever. I never look him in the eye. So I'm going to get away with that one. Yeah.

I actually did. You guys talk off air. Like, that's one thing I always hear about Mike and Mike. Mike and Mike, like their last the ESPN morning show, like their last six years or something like that. They didn't talk unless they were in front of the mics. Yeah, that happens. It's impossible. Opie and Anthony did not. Me and Anthony

are still close to this day. We were very, very close for the last decade, really, or since 2004. And me and Opie were at one point close, but then we kind of stopped. But he and I for a long time lived one building over from each other. So you bump into each other and talk.

It's just part of when you're doing a show. But me and Ant remain very, very close. Me and Sam talk a lot off air. I text with him and I socialize with him. I genuinely like him. But you're together and after a while it's just your fucking gig. So you go out and live your life.

Sam's married with kids or a kid. Our lives are very different. I don't mean you have to be talking. We're in constant communication. Once the mic's off, boom, we're done conversation. That's where we're going out of your way to not talk. Yeah, and that's when you know the partnership is in a little bit of trouble.

I've done other radio shows on the road. One guy's here and one guy's on ISDN in fucking Seattle. And you're like, Jesus Christ, I'm in Iowa right now. Well, you know, it's funny. Before we all came to New York for Barstool, we just operated out of our own homes. How did it sound? It was trash.

We would do Skype, but it was trash. Did you use ISDN? No, that was the main thing. If we had better technology, better connection, it probably would have been more doable. Better money. We just had more money. There was a delay, and it was grainy.

But it made for, I think in some ways, more interesting we we do a daily rundown show which was like the top five six topics a day and one was in chicago what was in new york what was in in boston and we only talked to each other for about 40 minutes that was it and there was no worry about what you're talking about so i would be like fuck you man you're a fucking moron you don't know what you're talking about you're an idiot skype's over yeah you know so we really let it fly and it's not like we hold it back here we'll still say those things to each other sure but when there's a vibe of like there's no consequences really

until tomorrow at the same time for just another 40 minutes you could really cook something up you know yeah so it you know it may be bad quality but more more interesting or combative content. I would hate doing a Skype show because like so much of like, I'm very unprofessional. I broadcast like for me, it's like knowing when you're going to talk or anticipating, I'm not good at like being, I hate like I've been doing radio fucking years.

I hate calling into radio. I stink on the phone. I'm absolutely. And we kind of, when we first started going with this, we would have some people call in and whatnot. And now we have enough guests where we're like, we just don't. Don't even do it.

Yeah, I'll do it rarely. It's not worth it. And the way I'll get criticized by some people sometimes because when we're talking, I'm interjecting, I'm interrupting. We're having a conversation. The whole, like, you're across there on the TV and you start and stop and then I go. It's hard, man. That's not how conversation works. Yeah, it's just not the way it's done. It's not natural. You go you start and stop, and then I go. It's hard, man. It's not how conversation works. Yeah, it's just not the way it's done.

You go, I go, you go, I go. People talk over each other for a little bit, and then things just blend together. That's the way it works. Right. And with a phone, it's a very stop, start. I hate it. I think in a conversation, there shouldn't be dead air. Right.

There should always be a constant stream, yeah. Yeah, or like, see, I just did that. You make a sound to let them know you're gearing up to talk. That's the fucking noise you make. Like, you're talking, I'm like, oh, and you're like, this idiot wants to talk, so let them know you're gearing up to talk? That's, that's the fucking noise you make. Like you're talking. I'm like, Oh, and then I,

and you are, this idiot wants to talk. So let me wrap it up and he'll talk. But that's, that's kind of how we do it. It's the adult version of raising your hand. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. It's the adult version of raising your hand and yelling me. I'm next. Uh, I, last time we talked, we dove into, you know,

your whole, your whole career and beginning, but I never got the chance to talk to you about the characters, the different characters, Chip Chipperson. Did those start as a joke, or did you intend on being like, I'm going to be this character? I've been doing them for— It started with a character named Roger Davis,

who eventually became Chip over like— I mean, I was doing Roger Davis in the early 90s, and the little mouth man became Edgar Mellencamp, and Uncle Paul, who's a pedo, was originally Uncle Larry. And they all just morphed and changed. And I realized years ago that fucking Chip had a quality that, I was dating a girl, I was doing Chip in bed, and she dug her fingernails in.

I mean, we weren't fucking, we were just talking. I was trying to make her get her laugh after I lost my erection again so she dug her fingernails into my face and it was bothering her so much and I realized

that's a visceral reaction and it just slowly kind of so I did it more and more and more yeah man Chip changed a lot over the years

but there's something about Chip that fucking people grabbed onto and I've done I'm starting to do more live shows now I've done a few live shows you go on stage onto. And I've done, I'm starting to do more live shows now. I've done a few live shows.

You go on stage totally like in. I've done that three times. Once, I just did it at the Paramount in Long Island. And I did the, actually the Somerville Theater in Boston. And it was, people loved it. It was really, really fun. But you buy a ticket for Chip Chipperson? You buy a ticket for Jim Norton?

Chip Chipperson. And he sold a lot faster and better than Jim Norton. Shit, really? Oh, I'm finished. I was going to say, that's great. Hey, whatever. Money's money. It's all going to you.

But is that a shot to the Jim Norton ego? In a way, it is. Because Chip has other people to look after. There's people on the podcast. There's a crew. And they fucked up and forgot to record the Saturday show. So I have a 900-person podcast that is not recorded. So enraging.

So we have video, but, you know. Is it a shot to Jim Norton ego? At this point, it doesn't matter. Who fucking cares, right? Yeah, I don't care. If you're still doing it for ego, you're in the wrong game, right? They want to show up for that stupid fucking character. Because it is fun, dude.

Because your mind is working the same as a comic my mind is thinking the same but you're grabbing the worst joke instead of the best so there's actually more to great

because there's usually more shit jokes than there are good jokes but it's just your mind is still moving the same but it's almost it's its own art form

to be like to have the intentional shit jokes it's so much fun if you're striving for the good jokes and you tell the shit jokes you suck

you're not funny and people can sense that yeah but if you're doing it on purpose in a weird way, it's maybe even more difficult. It's like when they say losing 20 games as a pitcher is almost just as hard as winning it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's like you've got to be around. It's the same sort of backward logic.

But as long as the money is coming in anyway, right? I love doing that. As long as the people are still listening. That's all that matters, dude. All that matters. And I love it. I really, really have fun. It's so stupid.

And it's different every time you do it. I love how you say that. It's so stupid, and it's different every time you do it. I love how you say that. It's so stupid. It is. It's silly, but I don't know what it is that people like about it, but people embrace it. And it's like there's an awfulness in everybody. We're all kind of deep down on funny lumps of shit, and Chip just happens to grab that and personify it. Who do you like as a comic right now, as a fan, if you're going to buy a ticket,

watch a show, or do you not even really do that? You know, Dave Attell, I love. Of course, Dave is so brilliant. Colin's so great. Everybody always says Dave Attell. Dave's the first one. Everyone always says that. I don't know much Dave Attell. I gotta get on with it. I feel like if you're a comic, everybody who's coming through here, like the first person to mention Dave Attell. He really is that good, too. You know, I would

rather have a different answer and be unique, but Dave really is that funny. It's amazing. He is a great comic, and he's a guy who you don't see it coming. His cadence is so original, his pace, and you don't see where the jokes are. In comics, after fucking 30 years, you learn whatever the pattern is for a person.

You don't see it coming with him, and with Colin, you don't see it coming. Yeah, you guys are really good friends. I love Colin, yeah. But Colin, I would pay for a ticket. David Tell, I would pay for a person. You don't see it coming with him, and with Colin, you don't see it coming. Yeah, you guys are best, like, really good friends. I love Colin. Yeah, Colin, but Colin, I would pay for a ticket. David Tell, I would pay for a ticket. I think Chris Rock is really brilliant, because Chris is another guy that hits you from angles you don't expect. We had Neil Brennan in here not so long ago. Do you like him?

I like Neil a lot. Yeah, I don't know his stand-up as well. He's more in my age group, so I don't, I mean, I'm older than him. I don't really, the guys I'll, if I had to watch anybody, it would be probably, it would be Colin or Dave or Chrisris but yeah neil is funny i feel like you take um we we we've always been interested in how the people who take comedy very seriously kind of is like a paradox in a way to me but it's like you guys focus on the pacing the timing the structure the like the science of it more than just kind of letting it fly?

Well, you do let it fly, but when you're talking about it afterwards, you're not thinking about this while you're doing it. It's just kind of happening, and then if somebody asks you a question, you kind of look back and go, yeah, I guess that's what it was. But yeah, no, you can't be thinking about this. I see some guys that go over notes, and I'm like, notes are great, but I can't go over them repeatedly. It's probably just me being lazy.

I think I'm an artist, but I'm just fucking lazy. No, man, I don't write it down. It's probably just me being lazy. I think I'm an artist but I'm just fucking lazy. No, man, I don't write it down because you're a lazy motherfucker. I don't listen back to our shows and I have my own reasons for it. I absolutely should. That was funny, that wasn't. But it's just out of laziness. Mark Maron has a great bit on that where he's talking about everyone who takes notes and studies

and stuff and does that. He's like, have some fucking confidence in yourself. That's what it is. You're not confident in yourself because you feel the need to put this extra effort in me. I'm confident. I know I'm going to go out there and fucking do it. I like that spin zone. Yeah, that's his Mark being lazy. I get it. But he is really funny too.

I mean, he's a funny dude and he's unique in his own way. You could listen to Mark and go, yeah, that's a Mark joke. Right. You know his own style. Yeah, yeah. He's very true to himself. I think that's kind of how Belichick was talking about that with Hightower the other day, where he's like, Hightower can't tell you how he does this. He just does.

It's just something you're instinctively born with. You were born to do it. He's like, no other player can read the play like he does. And it's not like he didn't study for it. He didn't write it down. He didn't have notes. He just knows how to do it. That's like a lot of players who are like, I can't coach because I'm just like, why can't you do this?

I can do this. Why can't you do it? I don't get how to teach someone else to be like me. I've always said that I'd be the worst teacher ever. I'm like, I'm a dumb fucking idiot, and I know how to do this. Why can't you, you seven-year-old fucking moron? Yeah, that is a good way to teach a child, by the way. They do listen.

They do listen. And don't hit them, but threaten. You don't have to hit them. Just raise your hand. That will teach a child. Get the message across. Absolutely. They'll understand. listen and don't hit them but threaten. You don't have to hit them. Just raise your hand. That will teach the child. Absolutely. They'll understand.

Not too long ago, Louis C.K. popped back up. He did, yes. I haven't seen him at the Cellar because I go home early but I always find out when it explodes on Twitter. Somebody called me the other night. This is what I found out. Louis had done a set. Somebody called me and they're like, hey man, did you hear that Louis did a set?

I had heard it from the morning show but I'm like, what happened? He was always trending on Twitter. I'm like, hey, man, did you hear that Louis did a set? And I'm like, I had heard it from the morning show, but I'm like, what happened? And he was always trending on Twitter. I'm like, what the fuck, man? I don't pay attention. Yeah. I think it's ridiculous that people don't want the guy to work. You don't have to like Louis, but here's the reality.

Roman Polanski fucked a 13-year-old, and people were still going to see his movies. I don't even mean Hollywood people. I mean the public. Regular-ass people. Yeah, people weren't walking out of Roman Pol see his movies. I don't even mean Hollywood people. I mean the public. Regular ass people. Yeah, people weren't walking out of Roman Polanski movies. Right. People weren't standing outside the theater protesting after what he had done.

Yeah, what Louis did wasn't right. He said he was sorry. He acknowledged it. He acknowledged that, like, hey, I put people in a bad position. I don't know what Louis is supposed to do. I just don't know what the answer is. Yeah, I agree with that. I don't know either.

It's because it is when you say, like, listen, this is what this man does for a living. what Louis is supposed to do. I just don't know what the answer is. I don't know either. Because it is, when you say, listen, this is what this man does for a living. Everyone deserves to make a living. But when the job is kind of this fun, fucking goofy, you just get up there and laugh, it does take on this feeling of you're not remorseful.

If he was just getting back to a job in the Cube, crunching numbers, no one's going to say this. But because it's like he's back up there making a ton of money and it seems like everyone's having a grand old time, I can't get inside the guy's head. Maybe he is not. It seems like he's remorseful. Then he should be okay, but the general public's not going to feel that

remorse if you're just fracking jokes again. As long as you make the jokes and I'm interested to see how I'll feel. Because it will change things. It won't be something on the forefront of my mind, but it will be like if he makes a sexual joke or something that you'll be like, oh, yeah, that's right. You kind of you do some weird sex stuff. I think there's going to be a lot of what was weird is a lot of it. A lot of his jokes were always about that.

And then we just found out it was true. And that, you know, that kind of changes thing. But I guess it is more like let the people decide. It's up to the audience And other guys have said that but it really is the truth I mean he's a comedian It's what he does for a job It's his job

It's not like he's trying to go out and do different shit And I don't know what the answer for him Maybe he will address it on stage But he wants to perform a few times first Because when you don't perform for nine months I'm sure you feel rusty And once you address it You can only address it a first time once on stage.

So maybe he wants to be fucking sure he addresses it properly. I don't know. I haven't talked to him. I don't have the answers. I can't be hypocritical about it. I had an affair and when all the fans found out,

there were some people who were like... Were you married or a girlfriend? Yeah, married. How'd you get caught? Like technology, DMs. It gets everyone. She had my Twitter on her phone logged in.

Was it one of those things where the text message goes to the iPad? Fuck the iCloud. Yeah, man. The link devices will get you every fucking time. I finally turned it off. I don't even have a girlfriend. Laptop, don't get my text. I thought I was deleting it

from mine, but it doesn't delete it from there. No, it does not. I tell you, I back up only to my computer. I back up to my laptop with a cord. The iCloud can suck my dick. I don't go near it. I wish the iCloud could suck my dick, and then maybe we wouldn't be in the trouble. That's a great point.

It wouldn't be cheating if it was the cloud. So she told you. Did you deny it at first? Nah, I mean, at this point, it was just us both. You were busted. Yeah. So are you divorced now at first? Nah, I mean at this point it was You were busted So are you divorced now or no? I don't know yet But it was very

Some people were like calling for my job And it was like I had some personal problems I'm not going to fucking quit my job here Over a bad decision in a relationship? Right, like I'm a radio host and I'm a blogger She specified the woman was of age Yeah, there not she was a willing there was no roman polanski going on here there was no louis ck going on here it was just a bad decision i was like so i mean i was firmly

like i i'm not going to like give up my professional life and you know again things are different with louis when there's some criminal aspect to it, but... Did he do anything criminal with Louis? Well, I shouldn't say that, because I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what the rules are there. I don't know. Had they called somebody in the moment, maybe it would have been criminal.

I don't know. But, you know, there is just this weird thing where because what we do is fun and we hang out in this fucking fun house that people think, you know, you should have to lose that as well for bad life decisions. I don't know the answer.

I never understand, like you said, you have to be living. I don't think I've ever called for someone's job. I hate that. To be totally honest, I don't stop listening or watching the movie show either. Someone asked, what could your favorite artist do to make you stop?

We talked about it. I don't really think anything Maybe Maybe suck Yeah exactly If it changes Be bad at the job Yeah I can't be like

You have to fire that I'll probably listen to a different show now I hope you don't I don't think they do We're doing pretty good Please don't Well you know Don't forget too

People have a really weird thing With stand up And who should be allowed to work Because Kevin Spacey They did That one director took him out who is it the guy who did

fucking Alien oh my god it was I forget they put it in what's his name Stanley Kubrick no no he's been dead

for a long time who the fuck did Alien Ridley Scott yeah Scott Ridley Scott took him out of a movie but Kevin Spacey did do another film

after that I don't know if it was shot before but it was released and people don't it bombed terribly but people didn't say he shouldn't be allowed to work.

But there's the answer. The people just didn't want it. So now no one's going to cast Kevin Spacey because no one's going to watch my movie. What was that? Billionaire Boys? That was a good cast aside from him. Oh, the guy from Baby Driver? Yeah, Baby Driver and then Taron Egerton. I hated Baby Driver.

I hated it. I don't like quirky qualities. Tinnitus. I don't like fucking quirky qualities. The whole thing was like a music video type of thing. It was like just a good story and a good movie. Ansel Elgort's like, dude, you don't have a leading man face. I'm sorry. I don't either.

Be someone else. I knew I was going to hate it from the very opening scene when they're playing like the guitar and the fucking thing. I was like, this movie sucks. I hate anyone with fucking earbuds in who's helping a bank robbery. Stop trying to be quirky. You don't need that. Like, I mean, again, they're all good actors. I mean, Spacey's great.

Fucking, he's a good, Angel's a good actor. It was Jon Hamm, I think was in it. Jamie Foxx. Jamie Foxx. All good. But I mean, come on. And also, who is it from Walking Dead? Don't tell me.

Was he in that or no? Am I stupid? I'm stupid. No, I'm thinking of somebody else. I haven't seen Walking Dead.'t tell me was he in that or no am I stupid I'm stupid no I'm thinking of somebody else I haven't seen Walking Dead you're probably right not a zombie guy they freak me out

yeah out on zombies no it's cause they I chew tobacco and they all have like the fucked up faces right here oh mouth cancer sure yeah yeah yeah

definitely coming your way yeah so you mentioned before you and Sam Sam Roberts he's a he's a Barstool fan as well

we get along yes he's doing I mean he's a Barstool fan as well. We get along. Yes. He's been doing a ton with wrestling. Yeah. I mean, you guys are doing big things, I feel like. The Jim and Sam show is really, I feel like it didn't miss a beat when a lot of, I would imagine when Opie and Anthony break up, there's some fans who are probably, I'm never going to listen again or whatever.

I feel like you guys took it in stride and just kept it moving. Was there any sort of like? A lot of people hate us. But we didn't – the thing with Opie and Anthony was Anthony got fired in 2014. I love Anthony. Opie and I continued. Then Opie and I couldn't get along. It wasn't like any of us got greedy and walked away.

It just disintegrated. That happens. I mean the three of us, I think Opie, Anthony, and myself, none of us will ever do a funnier radio show than we did as the Opie and Anthony show. I mean, that was a really fucking funny show, and I'm not being arrogant. Patrice was there for years, Bill Burr, fucking Bobby Kelly. Just objectively

hilarious. A lot of really funny things happened. You know, that Baby Bird thing that Rogan was in for, where fucking Pat Famunaki vomited in the face of Pat Duffy, who was an intern and where fucking Pat Famunaki vomited in the face of Pat Duffy who was an intern and a god. I mean, it was stuff that happened

that you can't even do anymore. Any of that food shit you can't do anymore. A lot of it you can't do for, people forget that these companies are all run by lawyers.

Barstools run by lawyers. Fucking CBS run by lawyers. Sirius run by lawyers. You can't do anything that's going to get the company sued for possibly getting somebody injured

because the lawyers will step in. Even though the creative guys would go, it's great, it's funny, the attorneys always have the final word.

I'll tell you what, I think we're still... We do put people in boxing rings. We make people box. Oh yeah, I'm sure you could do that but I mean certain food things.

Like once somebody dies doing a food thing, no one can do fucking drinking contests anymore. Getting a weed for a weed without... I was going to say, that was in Rhode Island, wasn't it? That was in...

Or was that one of those local religions where it happened to everybody? No, it happened to West Coast. Drinking weed for a wee was a West Coast contest. I want to say Seattle. I could be wrong, but where the person... Where San Francisco person died drinking too much water in a radio contest. She drowned, internally drowned. Yeah, without peeing.

So then all fucking radio shows now cannot do that type of contest. What drowned, internally drowned. Yeah, without pee. So then all fucking radio shows now cannot do that type of contest. What a brutal way to go. I mean, you hate to speak ill of the dead, but you're an asshole

if you die from drinking too much fucking water. Yeah, just fucking pee. For $200. Yeah, like, come on, man.

It's a little wee cost. It's like $240. That is brutal. It's crazy. Yeah, people, now the woman who just got hit in the eye

with the fucking golf ball at the writer's cup is going to sue. And it's like, what are you, you're standing standing next to a golf fucking course? They're hitting a ball. What do you think could happen? There's no net.

Now that's crazy. It's the same thing that happens at baseball fields all the time. But baseball, baseball sues is going to have a cave. Yeah. And it's going to be like watching through the glass. Yeah. You can't, I don't think you should be able to sue the golf. Cause she's like, well, nobody will the warning.

What are you not paying attention? Come on. That's ridiculous. You're a spectator. Watch. Yeah. Bring an umbrella umbrella fucking wear goggles so like you said you never you know you probably never achieve uh that level that you had on opie and anthony or is it is it just different or you think you can achieve that that same level of funny but just a different type with sam or do you think can you objectively say to yourself, like, that was my peak,

and not like I'm on the decline of my career, but I just don't think I'll ever reach that pinnacle again. You know, I don't, as far as the career, like, I love, like the last special I did for Netflix, I was happier with that than any of the ones previous, and that was after the Opie and Anthony show, so stand-up, you just get better as you get older, I think, because you're

smarter and you think different, and I love the show I do with Sam. I do. The Opie and Anthony show, as it was, couldn't exist today anyway because they wouldn't let us do half of the shit we used to do. Cherry darts, throwing these cherries in a girl's assholes. We could never fucking pull that off. They just wouldn't allow us to do it.

And we went to Sirius. Good old days, man. Oh, dude. Fucking fantastic. In my day, we threw cherries in girls' assholes. That was fun, yeah. With whipped cream on them so you could see exactly where it hit. It was a well-thought-out contest, but a lot of that shit we couldn't do anymore, even if Opie and Anthony, the show, still existed. Right.

So would you rather, if you could go back and change the way it ended, would you? Or like you said, the way it kind of naturally disintegrated, it is what it is? Or would you have rather had maybe a final Opie and Anthony show or a send-off or something like that? Send-off. If I could go back, I would fucking delete Anthony's Twitter so he couldn't have sent out those tweets and never would have gotten fired. So, yeah, that's a good question. You would rather have just seen how long it could have gone and how – Oh, 100%.

Yeah, man. I was – I mean I make more money now than I made then because I'm doing the show. But I would take the less money. And I really do love Sam. I'm not just saying that but I would take the less money. And I really do love Sam. I'm not just saying that. I really like working with him. I have fun with him. The show is relaxed. We come in every morning because things are so tense with me and open, uncomfortable.

So now it's nice to just do it with Sam. I'm enjoying myself a lot. It's a great show, man. You can catch Jim live. The new tour is Kneeling Room Only. I hated that name. They just keep sending it out.

I'm on tour. Go to JimNorton.com slash tour. I have a lot of dates in Maryland coming up. I have New York. I'm going to be doing just a few other places. I think it's November 21, 22, 23 is in Caroline. Something like that. Yeah, it's Thanksgiving weekend. I just added

Virginia, the state theater, which I haven't done in about 10 years. The, it's Thanksgiving weekend. Yeah. And I just added Virginia, the state theater, which I haven't done in about 10 years. So, you know, the tour was great. Delaware, you know. So wait, you named it Kneeling Room. I was going to say, what was the significance of Kneeling Room? Honestly, no, no. I couldn't think of it.

I hate naming shit. I just thought of it. I mean, Mouthful of Shame was the last tour, and then I shot it as a special. This last thing was a little too topical. I didn't even want to shoot it because there was a lot of Me Too stuff. But the news was changing so fast that the material doesn't feel relevant after a while.

So I called it as a joke, kneeling room only. And the other comedians were like, I like that better than whatever else you had. But now it's just like I'm on tour. Yeah, Jim Norton on stage live. I feel like when you try to name things, it's like you try to make it funny. It's like the baby driver. You're trying to be quirky. Yeah, just a

name for it. When I have a special, you gotta name it something I always put some thought into the name of a special But now it's just come see me on stage JimNorton.com, get your tickets And you can catch him on Jim and Sam on Sirius every day We appreciate it, man, thank you Thank you, this was fun, guys, I appreciate it Alright, big shout out to Jim Norton

That was brought to you by StockX If you look at my phone battery usage, it's got to be like 80% Twitter, 19% StockX, 1% other. I am constantly on StockX just looking at shoes that I either can't afford or should not be buying. They've also got... I mean, you get a shipment from StockX twice a week. No, it's not true. It's pretty true. I really like that little green tag they have.

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So they have streetwear, watches, handbags. Everything is guaranteed real. Everything is fully dead stock. You're not going to get anything preused, not going to get anything fake. And it's like Final Purge has clamped himself. I was trying to break my own finger. I don't know what the hell that was. Something's wrong with this kid. something's honestly wrong with him so stock x the

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The worst. I'm so in on it. I know you are. The dad shoe trend is so fucking perfectly like hype street wear nonsense. It's like the whole world agreed these were the lamest shoes forever. And then Kanye and a couple other people say they're in and the sheep like Feidelberg, they go following.

I maintain this. Shoes are super whack. These are just sneakers. They're just called dad shoes. This is what sneakers always looked like. Dads wore them. And they were lame because dads were like, your lame ass dad was like, I like these sneakers. So the whole world was like, well, then I don't like these.

And now all of a sudden, because it's the emperor's new clothes and because trends are fucking fickle as shit, guys like Feidelberg and Lou are in on them. No, I mean, like, the shoes you're wearing, that's what sneakers didn't look like. Those were new sneakers. Right. So that was the different kind of sneaker. This is just a sneaker. Right, fine, I'll give you that,

but it was universally agreed upon that they were, like, lame sneakers. But, like, this is what sneakers looked like five years ago that everyone wore. No. Yes. No. Seven years ago.

No, those are, like, big, chunky-ass, clunky shoes that look like your dad wears them when he's mowing the lawn. Your dad was probably like, yo, those are dope. You know, it is what it is.

I'm not even really knocking it. I mean, I'm definitely knocking it, but like, Hey, it's each their own. At the end of the day, I hate people who are like,

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It was a big weekend for fights. It was a big weekend for Conor McGregor. It was the biggest weekend for fights. It was a big weekend for Conor McGregor. It was the biggest weekend for Bob Fox. Bob Fox was engulfed in flames for seven days straight. Holy shit. And he's here without a single third-degree burn. It's amazing.

And you know what really sucks is he's here and he's so down. The whole rest of the world is like, Yo, Bob, you did it, bro. You crushed it. And he's like, I don't want to hear that. I'm here and congrats. I walked into the studio. BC said congrats. You deserve it. And he's like, I don't want to hear that. I'm hearing congrats. I walked into the studio. BC said congrats.

You deserve it. We didn't win the war. Although, Connor, when you are a part of Team McGregor and Team McGregor loses, you don't run around congratulating. You don't run around celebrating. Although, I will say, Connor just posted an Instagram that was just a picture of him. And it was like, we may have lost the match, but we won the battle. And I was like, you know what? News to me, but I love it.

I don't know how that logic works, but okie dokie. Let's go. Apparently we did it, folks. I mean, well, there's a lot to break down. First, you were almost murdered by the Russian mob, I would say, several times. Dude, it was a scary seven days in Sin City. I'm going to tell you what. You might have deserved it.

If it happened, you might have been like, all right, I get it. Well, a lot of this. You're throwing throat slits out. So that was the moment where everything added up in my mind and I went,

okay, I think I do deserve this. And my mom called me. Yeah, I was going to say Mama Fox was not happy. She was so mad, dude. She was like, I cannot believe you did that. Specifically the throat slash?

Yeah. She's like, I cannot believe you did that. And the throat slash? Yeah. She's like, I cannot believe you did that. And I think she saw it via your Twitter. Oh, no. So thank you for that. You were like, people get suspended from the NFL and fined in college for this, but Bob is doing it to the Russian mob. He don't give a fuck.

Something like that. My mom thought I was dying. Barstool Sports is really good at getting 20-year-old boys in trouble with their moms. Yeah. Mama Lockwood and Mama Fox should get together and start a support group for this shit. There were multiple moments. I had Dana with me. You might know him from Mixtape.

He produces Mixtape. He was petrified the entire week because he was like, I didn't do anything. Yeah. I don't want to catch his collateral damage. He's like, I'm in on this. This is crazy. Listen, everybody, you know, Dean McGregor was getting beat up left and right.

It's not just like one-on-one. It's everybody can catch it. And it was very like there was no laying low. I was wearing a medical mask and like a baseball cap over my face when I was going out and not on camera because I was legit like spooked. Yeah. And people just like, Robbie, Robbie. Like the Chinese people. Yeah. Yeah. SARS mask. I missed that. Oh, spooked. Yeah. And people were just like, Robbie, Robbie. Like the Chinese people?

Yeah. Yeah. SARS mask. Yep. I missed that. Oh, my God. Everyone missed that. I didn't post any pictures.

That was my disguise. Good point. Okay. So there were multiple moments where— This is what I'm wearing today so no one recognizes me. Yeah. We were getting, like, weird looks all the time, and then, like, we were online to get press credentials.

These two dudes were writing in Russian on their phone and just passing the phone back and forth. And then it was in the middle of a casino, so they start taking cigarettes out. And when I tell you they were taking the most fierce rips of these cigs I've ever seen anyone take. Slow drags looking at you. Not even slow, like intense, like. And then, like, blowing the smoke towards me, and I was just like, oh, my goodness. Scale of, like, 1 to 10, where were you like, ah, shit might actually, I mean, shit did

go down in the stands. How much did you think you were gonna like possibly get involved in something? Jeez. It like fluctuated the whole week. So like every night I got room service in my hotel, like locked the door, like literally didn't go out for dinner one single night I was in Las Vegas. Seven days straight. There was one moment

Seven days in Vegas, by the way. There was one moment where we hit like a nine and that was at the the ceremonial weigh-in yeah where there was like a fucking arena full of people just for a weigh-in yeah wild it was it was insane most people ever had a weigh-in over 10 000 just literally show up and it was ceremonial they already made weight they were just showing up to like do the face off yeah yeah but we go we get sat down down six rows from the scale, dead center. I look back and I could tell that Habib's guys are behind us. So I just said to Dana, I was like, Habib's guys are behind us, just like. To Dana.

Yeah, I was like. For a second I was thinking White. I was like. No, you were just like sitting with Dana White. No, no, no. So I said to Dana, I was like, I'm not going to be crazy for this video. Like, I'm just going to be smart. Yeah, I'm just going to be crazy for this video. Like I'm just going to be smart. Yeah, I'm just going to be smart right now. And then about 30 of Habib's guys, all the guys from his crew, all the guys from like his brothers, his cousins, everyone came in, sat in front of us to the right a little bit.

And I was like, OK, here's where shit starts to get shady because now they're looking at me. They're pointing at me. And yeah. And Dana at this point is literally like, what do we do? What do we do? What do we do? And they're pointing and they're looking back and they're pointing at me and yeah and dana at this point is literally like what do we do what do we do what do we do and they're pointing and they're looking back and they're pointing and they're looking back and then back from the ufc he's like hey and i look over and he's like you with me and he does like the finger over here and i at this point i just turned to dana and i think i was like bro i think it's about to go down. Like, let's fucking go. So I get out, and the guy from the UFC

was like, we're going to move your seat, sir. And they moved me about, like, ten rows back. And that was the scariest moment of, like, I think this shit is about to drop. Holy shit, Bob. Jesus Christ.

So there was that, and a funny story from that, too. No, there's a very funny story from that. There's this guy, and I'm not going to say his name, whatever. But I just remember he talked a bunch of shit to me, this journalist, this MMA journalist. Talked so much shit to me online. You're a casual fan. You don't know this.

You don't know that. I actually cover this sport. You disrespected this, that. And during this whole thing, I fucking spot this guy. And I'm like, Dana, get the camera on. I'm just going to go up to this guy and be like, yo, you want to say what you said online to my face? Because I knew he wouldn't, obviously. So I walk right up to him, and I remembered his name. And I'll say his name is Jim, whatever.

It's not his real name. Went up to him. And I was like, hey, Jim, you going to? And it was so loud in there. And he was like, Jim, hi, it was so loud in there and he was like Jim hi nice to meet you my name's Fred and I was like oh wrong guy sorry I was red I was like I was like hey motherfucker you want to fucking say that shit to my face I was too wound up man I do I was super wound up it was just the wrong guy but yeah that was scary and then obviously uh

our guy brennan job called it from the jump he was on joe rogan's podcast he was like i would not go to this match because of exactly what happened called it um i didn't want to say it but i knew he was right you know yeah i'm going in like this is gonna be dangerous i mean you get the fucking russian mob the irish mob and people are saying like i i love headline of, oh my god, a fight broke out at UFC. Are you fucking kidding, man? And I know – see, the problem is Conor McGregor knows exactly what he's doing. These other guys, they don't take it that way.

Conor McGregor is here. The reason why he shakes hands with Floyd in the end, the reason why he puts up that Instagram afterwards is because he made his money. He came from nothing. Now he's something. And yeah, well, yeah, he's got pride and he lost. But at the end of the day, he won. Habib and them, they don't fuck around with that. They're not there for the pay-per-views.

I mean, they're there for the money, but not really. You can't make fun of their religion and all that shit. They're uptight. Don't get me wrong. I mean, I'm more like Conor than the Russian guys. But can't be surprised when it's like, oh, you know, you tapped out. So now I'll stop. No, fuck that. I'm surprised he did stop. Even in the moment, I'm's like, oh, you tapped out, so now I'll stop. No, fuck that.

I'm surprised he did stop. Even in the moment, I'm just like, just crush him. For me, yeah. Even so, referee Herb Dean broke the hold, the neck crank. Habib wasn't letting go. Even though that was against my guy and Habib attacked my guys in the melee, whatever, I get it.

I get all of it. Connor, Dolly threw the bus of a window they were in. Yeah, you can have friends and be like, yeah, you kind of deserve to get punched in the face. This is way more than a UFC fight. The only thing I'll say is, like, I mean, I do think he's a showman. I do think he wants to sell pay-per-views.

He made Habib and them a billion dollars, you know? And I think after the fight, it's always like, dap it up like i don't think it would have been that if connor not to be about i think you think he would have done something similar i don't think connor would i think he's too much of a business yeah i don't think he would have hopped the fence and went after habib's guys but i think connor knocks habib out and habib's guys storm the cage right well that but i'm saying something like that i don't think mcgregor would have ever i think mcgregor would have done his usual like fight

no mcgregor's never shown respect to Habib. Never. It's that bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. He said before the fight and everything, he said, I will never show that man respect. Okay. So then it's bad blood all around because everyone who's comparing the bus thing, I was like, I was leading up to it.

And now afterwards, it's like, hey, good job fucking selling the world. But I guess it was bad blood all around. You can't make excuses for him. Yeah, he said – I just like Conor. That's what it comes down to. I try to defend him because I like him. I love him, but he said even in the lead up, he was like, this is not over.

Once it's over, he's like, the referee will literally have to pull me off of him or else I will go to jail for stomping his head into the canvas. That wasn't part of it too? I don't know. I get that, but I talk to his team. I talk to his guys. This is very personal. This is like.

So what's next? Is there a rematch? connor wants the rematch is connor hashtag done so i don't think he is i think connor would have benefited a ton from a tune-up fight he he took two years off the sport and usually in boxing or mma or something like that you take a return from a layoff you have a tune-up fight you have you face that you think – Camino cannon. Yeah. His striking just didn't look anywhere near where it was. When he caught him with that one punch, it was like – Dude, the fact that – Yikes, you're fucked. The fact that Habib dropped Conor, man, you could have never seen it coming.

I wish you guys could see Bob's face. He's staring off into the abyss right now. I think it was the fastest and hardest punch I've ever seen thrown in my entire life. I'm surprised it didn't end right there. It was a stunningly fast punch. I watched the gif of it a thousand times after the fight because I was like, this has to be sped up. There's no way Khabib fucking landed this shot. Is that Conor's third loss in a row or second?

That's the other thing. Counting the Mayweather, it's his second loss in a row. I thought he lost to the UFC. So, I don't think I've ever seen McGregor win. I think the only

pay-per-views I've ever bought is Boston. I watched Aldo was probably like, stop buying pay-per-views for a second. That's the KFC mush. Second of all,

and Drake too. Drake, I love McGregor. Drake's off the team. Yeah. I gotta tell you. Goodbye. See ya.

I think he would've benefited from a tune-up fight, but the big thing about this fight that I said in the build-up going in, no matter which way it went, it was going to be incredibly lopsided. These are two stylistic nightmares for each other. So someone was going to come out on top. Yeah. And I truly – like I was pretty impressed with McGregor's grappling. That being said, McGregor, I love the guy.

He fought the dirtiest fight I've seen in the UFC in many years. Like legitimately, like nobody's fought dirtier than him. He did in that fight for years. He was grabbing Habib's gloves. He was grabbing his shorts. He was putting his toes in the fence. He was grabbing the fence. It was incredible.

I mean, that's when you know you're like, I'm fine. Yeah, and I didn't see a lot of that in real time, but watched it back twice since then, and I was just like— Let me just say that. That's another thing, though, where I'm like, like yeah, I mean this is more than a UFC fight. I think if Habib was doing all the same things I think there... I probably wouldn't admit it but there would probably be a part of me like I get it. I get it, yeah. The interview

Habib had afterwards where he was like... First of all, he walks in and he's like, what's up guys? I don't know why we're talking about me on fence. He threw out the bus. Yeah. And he called my father.

Why? Why? But the what's up, guys? It was so good. I love this guy. Maybe I'm team Khabib, Bob. By the way, don't say that. I would love to be a fly on the wall for Khabib's dad smeshing him.

He said, my dad smeshed me. I know that. So Khabib, this went under the radar in the whole buildup. I tried to open people's eyes to this. He lives with his parents still. He's about 30? Yeah. He's 30. He lives with his two kids, his wife and his parents. And his dad is a straight fucking savage. Made him wrestle bears

and all that shit. Ovechkin did that too. Probably not when he's up until 30. That might be some Russian shit. Habib is going back to Russia to an ass kicking. Yeah. His dad is going to to Russia to an ass-kicking. Yeah, he's not happy. Why? For disrespectful antics.

Yeah, the antics after the fight. Really? Dagestan is a pretty dangerous place in Russia, but it is the peaceful republic of Russia, quotes on that. Guess what? Your son's not peaceful, bro. Yeah.

And they had... Jeez, the footage from Dagestan was insane there was like it looked it looked like thousands of people in the streets going crazy it looked like uh when france won the world cup yeah it looked like it was the middle of the day right yeah yeah strange when that goes down for the middle it was weird being in vegas as well because the fight's over and it's like i don't know 10 45 yeah i i don't I don't know. It was weird. It was as nervous I've been for anything in a long time. Well, I know you feel like you lost, but you, from a Barstool point of view, I mean, had one of the all-time trips.

It was a good week professionally. You dropped a rap song. You were fucking hot. Shout-outs from McGregor. You got viral throat slashes. It was fucking amazing. So good. That was crazy.

So good. You have not met him yet, right? No, I have. Well, outside the mail house. Yeah amazing. So good. That was crazy. So good. You have not met him yet, right? No, I have. Well, outside the Bale House. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I need you to sit down with him in a fucking proper whiskey and proper number 12 and just. I think soon.

Yeah, I would imagine it's got to happen. I think it's happening soon, yeah. I hope he's not done, but it kind of felt to me like, dude, you keep losing. At the end of the day, I feel like you got to win to have the whole persona. He'll fight again. I know for a fact he'll fight again I know for a fact he'll fight again but you know what I mean

it's like the whole shtick doesn't play if you aren't the champ and you don't win all the time I feel like it could play into long into

him how many did Rousey lose before she was done yeah it feels very wrong Rousey lost two but see that's something

you can't bring up because it's so incredibly different because it's so detrimental to my argument no Rousey was so ahead of see, that's something you can't bring up because it's so incredibly different. Because it's so detrimental to my argument. No, Rousey was so ahead of her time, and she was very skilled in one martial art, which was judo. And eventually the game passed her by. The game has not passed Conor McGregor by. Conor McGregor came back after two years and faced arguably the greatest lightweight of all time.

And he lost like many people predicted him to. He was a big underdog leading into this fight he was an underdog the entire build up he was an underdog probably part of me being a casual fan but also just the way

Conor controls the media where it's like I thought he was I think I learned for the first time like Saturday afternoon that he was an underdog

I was like what? I thought it was supposed to be just like a first round knockout but everything's easy for him yeah he's a fucking master Conor losing to a guy

that's 27-0 that prior to this fight had never lost a round in the UFC. Now he has lost a round. Conor beat him in the third round. That's wild. Conor's nowhere near done. He's nowhere near like, oh, should he retire, this, that. How old is he? He's 30.

He just turned 30. And not that much damage. He got knocked down for the first time ever in this fight. Wow. Yeah. All right. Good to hear. I like you, Greg.

Let's go. I feel like a 40-year-old Connor could fight a schmuck, and I would still be interested in it just because of this smash talk. I told YP, I was like, Connor, he shouldn't have re-signed with the UFC. He should have just made his own MMA company, do four fights a year, you main event every pay-per-view against, like, you guys. And do the whole build-up. Robin Rowdy.

Like, build-up, like, oh, my God, Kevin Clancy. Like, he's never fought Conor. If he hits Conor, will Conor go down? I would buy into all of it. I'd be like, we're going to fucking knock you out, homeboy. And then you knock him out right away. You're talking about, like, WWF, basically. Like, make a whole federation where the fights aren't really real.

We'll hype it all up. No, but I actually want to see Conor knock these guys out. Just like stand there for a nice lap dance. Imagine just beating up like average Joes wearing dad shoes. Just fucking smoke them. It would be incredible. It was a hell of a week for you, Bob. Great content, bud.

Thanks. Let's get into these voicemails. They're brought to you by Felix Gray. It's fantasy football season. So you're going to be staring at your phone, staring at your laptop. You're going to be on the waiver wire. You're going to be putting together your lineup. You're going to be staring at the screen nonstop. So protect your eyes with Felix Gray glasses.

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FelixGrayGlasses.com slash KFC. Protect your eyes with a pair. You don't. You are, I don't know if it's, if you sound worse than you feel or if you feel worse than you sound. It's a mix of both, Kevin. Yeah. It's not great. I feel a little better because I saw Stars Born last night.

Oh, God. Here we go musical final record god damn best musical I've seen since The Greatest Showman so fucking good best musical I've seen

since the last musical I saw I know best musical I've seen since Mamma Mia 2 no but it was it was so good so that brought me back

a little bit but then I also came down a lot with it because fucking Bradley Cooper is such a fucking you realize I'm gonna call him Bradleyadley cooper's a fucking cunt oh bradley brad coming for you such a goddamn asshole kevin he makes you feel like a real piece of shit he fucking just learned

to sing yeah and play the guitar for a movie role gaga said i'm not faking this shit you have to do it he was like okay okay fine i'll figure People are like, yeah, you lose a little weight. Maybe throw on a British accent. Kiss a dude. Whatever. I learned how to sing. An instrument's one thing. You can learn how to play the guitar.

Maybe not well, but good enough to fake it in a movie. You can't learn how to sing. That's not a thing. That's not a thing. No. I guess it took him a while. No, I mean, it took him forever. It took him a little while to become a, I mean, he's on stage sharing the song.

One of the greatest musicians alive. Like one of the hottest pop stars alive for a decade. Right. And it's just like, oh yeah, like Cooper's Holden's on up there. And she's like equally an asshole. She's like, yeah, I'll just do this acting thing. Yeah. So really fuck both of them.

She's going to get an Oscar. Oh yeah, they're going to win everything. What a crossover. Oh yeah, I'll just do this acting thing. Yeah. So really, fuck both of them. She's going to get an Oscar. What a cross. Oh, yeah. They're going to win everything. What a crossover. Oh, yeah. Oh, by the way, he also directed it. Yeah.

Oh, why not? Also, his dog is in it. His dog's a star. His dog's a fucking star. A star is born. It's the dog. Yeah. Charlie, the golden retriever.

Golden doodle. But yeah, up until that point, I didn't have a great weekend. Yeah. I had it. So it was the worst. Saturday was the worst day of a long time for me. But, yeah, up until that point, I didn't have a great weekend. I had, right? So, it was the worst. Saturday was the worst day of a long time for me. Saturday, I left the game in the sixth.

Yeah, I heard. I heard it was that bad. That's like, that's McGregor tapping out. I really wasn't feeling, like, healthy or good. Yeah. I saw your tweet. I feel foolish. I had, like like probably three too many beers before i got there because the section 10 live show uh we didn't have like proper mics and stuff so i was

sitting at a table where i couldn't hear anyone else i had shitty hearing anyway so like i had it was very awkward it was like bar talk only like hundreds of people are listening to it and so it turned into my worst nightmare where i'm sitting at a table with tons of people just staring at me in judgment and I can't contribute to anything. So I'm just sitting there like. That's honestly, you know, you know, when people say like you have a nightmare and you're you're you missed your final, even though you haven't been school forever or you show up at work and you're naked. That's John's nightmare. Yeah. Just people staring at me and I have no way to contribute or respond.

Yeah. I'm surprised you didn't just shrivel up and die. I thought about it. Like a slug. If I could have, I would have. If I could have willed myself to death, I definitely would have. You would have done a long time ago if you could. But then we went into the game and that was disaster right away. So disastrous. I mean, that guy,

he stinks. I haven't even watched. We were texting about it yesterday. It doesn't make sense to me. Everything David Price is good. I genuinely believe that. I thought he had some good starts in his career in postseason that ended up losing anyway, but if you watch the games,

he pitched better than a loss. However, yeah, it's come time. You got to call a spade a spade. But to get to become a professional athlete, you have to go through so many layers of you better have the balls for this. You better have the mental fortitude for this. And like, I mean, to go from just literally pitching to like high school championships,

I'm sure you pitched in, right? And then you get to Vanderbilt. Sure. Relative. Yeah. In those moments, those were your world series you've gone through so many layers and then the one you can't break through

is a regular season MLB game to a postseason MLB game that's that's the one that just is a impenetrable barrier for you I do think that there is I mean it's a big sample size but it's not like I do think there's a chance that like it was a rod you know a rod had like horrible post seasons until he just didn't right it's not like i do think there's a chance that like it was a rod you know a rod had like

horrible post seasons until he just didn't because it was just like you can go through a bad stretch and it just happens to fall in the first two weeks of october and like it just keeps happening that way and then it gets in your head and it probably does start to become something but you know nine starts is a big sample size for but you know 10 in the great 10 in the grand scheme of like number of stars never happened i mean that's what stuff that's where i'm trying i'm trying here yeah i'm trying to play devil's advocate because i fucking hate the yankees fans and i hate hubs and i hate that he had to do with gary sanchez like let judge beat you let stanton beat you fucking fat slob by the way i was gonna say you were okay. Racist. What was that about?

I called Gary Sanchez a fat, lazy slob. Guess why? Cause he's a fat, lazy slob. And I had some chick in my mentions calling me a racist and she like tripled down on it. She wasn't backing down. Here are three irrefutable facts.

Gary Sanchez is fat. Gary Sanchez is slow. Gary Sanchez is lazy. Those are just fat fucking facts. His own team said as much. Like he went through that period of time where he's out of shape. He's not trying hard. That's fat.

Is he Sanchez? He's probably Mexican, right? I would never call them not hardworking. They are not lazy. He's not Mexican. I'm sure he's. Let's figure it out. I don't know.

Whatever he is. They're not. That's not even. They're California. The stereotype is not that they're lazy. So that was racist. Bullshit doesn't even make any sense. I'll call a fat fucking white guy fat, slow, and lazy too. The problem is she was like, find me a...

Dominican. Dominican. They work hard. She was like, find me a white guy. He said it about. I was like, well, all the white guys I said about were skinny. I'm sorry. Jason Bay fucking sucked.

Michael Kodair fucking sucked. Even David Wright I used to make fun of. If they were all overweight I would have thrown in fucking fat and lazy too. I don't know what to tell you. I'm sorry my white guys are skinny. That was obviously the worst, just being there for that. And then

it got worse. I left the night to buy a baby fifth or sixth and I went back to my hotel just to chill for a bit. Did you even watch the game or were you just like, I'm done? No, I watched the rest of the game. But then I was with a buddy and did you even watch the game or you were like i'm done no i watched the rest of the game but then uh i was with a buddy and i was like we're gonna go up with mcgregor fight so we went to this bar on boylston that was showing the fight and uh we line was huge so we're standing in line for a while and then my buddy we had like 80 bucks in cash on us my buddy is like i'm gonna go grease the bouncer and so we go i'm so afraid to do that by the way me too i would never do it but luckily I'm going to go grease the bouncer. And so we go up. I'm so afraid to do that, by the way.

Me too. I would never do it. But luckily he did. Well, not luckily, because the bouncer was like, can't do it. Get back in line. So we're like, fuck, this is awkward. So we walk back into the line. And we're still just standing, waiting to get in.

And then someone comes out and brings me to the front. And is like, yo, he's a Barstool guy. Let him in. And the bouncer goes, I don't give a fuck. And I was like, this is the worst day of my entire life that's like someone just chopped my head off of the sword right now i want to die like every everything about that day was and like i didn't know like someone's gonna say that i would never let someone say like first of all yes second of all if you're gonna say that it has to

work right because now i look like the dumbest dickhead because people are probably thinking you told them to do that yeah yeah it didn't even work anyway now i got my dick in my hands and say like yo come get me in right drop barstool fucking never ever ever would i say that kind of like that bouncer by the way so oh yeah i love it it's like the hell out of it but i wasn't walking i wish it was lying after that i was like no no that's it you can't you can't yeah, you know, you do have some pride and dignity. Brutal. That's why I don't leave the house. None of these things can happen if you don't leave the house.

You never put your pride on the line if you stay on your own couch every single night. That's a fact. Voicemail time. I'm sneaking another ad in here because sales tried to put seven ads in here. Fuck you, sales. Until I started seeing a cut of the actual ad dollars. Fuck you. Lisa.com. You heard a cut of the actual ad dollars. Fuck you. Lisa.com. You heard of them? Of course you heard of them.

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Hey, KFC, Fights, Super Producer BC. So I have a hypothetical for you guys. So would you rather you have, when you, for your only mode of transportation is you can either ride the bang bus while someone's fucking inside. So that means like every time you're trying to, like every time you're trying to get out somewhere, you have to walk to a fucking porn scene. And every time you go on a date, like you have to bring a girl on a bang bus and there's someone fucking while you're trying to get through your date. Or have to fucking scooter everywhere.

Viva. I quickly have to mention something else. I'm in the market for a Vespa. Look at his face. Why? Wait. I just see these people a Vespa. Look at his face. Why? Wait. I just see these people who Vespa to the train, and I want one so bad.

I mean, Vespas are dope. They're fucking dope. You should get one. Yeah. Wait, what? Yeah, Vespas are fire, bro. No, no. Vespas are so fire.

If you go on a European vacation, if you're in Greece and you're Vespas-ing around, it's like, oh, look at this fucking guy. He's living his best life. Quite different. You Vespa around here, and people are like, who's this fucking loser? Dude. He's living his best life. You Vespa around here and people are like, who's this fucking loser? Well, guess what? You're talking to a man who once drove a Fiat. I don't give a fuck. Give me a Vespa. You definitely don't have any problem.

Give me a Vespa. We used to have them in Newport in the summers. It's like a very beach-towny thing. But just yesterday, I was Sunday afternoon. My brother and sister recently moved to the north end of Boston, which is like Italy. And I, in the eight years I lived in Boston, I spent almost no time in the north end.

Never, ever, ever went. And I went to get lunch with them yesterday. And it literally feels like you're in a different country. We're out in a cafe eating pasta and all Vespas lined up. It was fucking really weird. But it was right there. I was like, dude, we should get Vespas. I said it less than 24 hours ago. You want to get matching Vespas lined up. It was fucking really weird, but it was right there. I was like, dude, we should get Vespas. I said it less than 24 hours ago.

You want to get matching Vespas, bro? Yes. The problem is they're like four grand. So I'm neat. And you have to get a motorcycle license. I'll figure that out. I'm just not capable to work. That's what we need to get.

Yeah, I'm good at that. I need to get like a $750 Vespa. Something like that. We used to get them at Golf Crackers. Get a boosted board. A what? A boosted board. What's that?

It's an electric skateboard. Oh, I see those assholes rolling around. I'm not, I'll bust my ass. You'll bust your ass in a Vespa. Much, much less of a chance

than if I'm standing on a skateboard. This is a no-brainer for me. It's a Vespa. And it's not even just because I... It's definitely no-brain. Like, oh,

Brendan, you're choosing to fucking watch people fuck I would just get like yeah by the way I thought you meant buying the best is a no brain well I think he's referring to like a scooter scooter like a razor scooter

right I've got to do like manual labor I've wanted a razor scooter this whole time sling that shit around my shoulder like a bow and arrow I mean I'll admit, when I see these assholes like in their like suit scootering, scooting down Park Avenue,

I'm like, you are an asshole. I mean, a Vespa's a scooter. We could spin this. Okay, right. So loophole here. We're getting Vespas. Yeah.

Choice B, Vespa scooters. The bird scooters. Yeah, maybe one of those too, but I really want to sit. If you have, if you have, I want to sit down. If you had scooters. Yeah, maybe one of those too, but I really want to sit. If you have... I want to sit down. If you had to take the fucking...

The bang bus everywhere, it's just like... It would be the worst thing ever. The worst. It's also mixing business with pleasure in a major way. Granted, someone fucking is cool. Yeah. I'm the kind of guy who, when I'm stressed out in the car, I need silence. Yeah, you don't listen to music.

Don't listen to music. But if I'm... Not even just..., you don't listen to music. Don't listen to music. But if I'm... Not even just... I don't really listen to music much anyway. But if I'm late and I'm in traffic, I can't have music on. It's the most factually wrong thing he says all the time. It makes me more upset.

If I'm late, I know I'm going to... Just yesterday, I missed my 4 o'clock train because Boston shut down a bunch of streets for a 5K. It was so weird. I couldn't get close to the train station. Yeah, you know what you could have done? So I had to run. And I was, like, sprinting with, like, four bags.

I missed the train by fucking three minutes. That's the worst when you make the effort and then you miss it anyway. It's like, well, I should have just walked. Right, right, right. Should have just got the later train. But the, like, I asked the Uber driver, I was like, can you turn the music off, man? Like, I'm too stressed out right now to get stuff coming at me from all angles. So if you were fucking, I'd be like, you got to shut the fuck up back there.

Would you call my ready? I'd be swerving. See if you can fuck when I'm driving like this. There's no way he's fucking you that hard. Shut the fuck up. I'm trying to read the addresses on these houses. Your dad ever do that? Turn down the music to look at it.

Why can't you read? There's noise going in your ears, you asshole. Reading directions. If you turn it down, I'm trying to read the directions. Those aren't things. Those are mutually exclusive, dad. Yeah, I'm taking scooter. I'm going to get my ass a Vespa.

There's this whole little section in the parking lot at the train. All these little skinny parking spots. And there's just one Vespa. It's a beauty. It's like tan with brown leather. It's a baby blue one. Baby blue is hot. It's a hot Vespa color. It's like a red Hummer. Every asshole buys it.

I want you on the back of that. Beta boys cruising around on our Vespas. Hey, KFC. Hey, Fights. I was on Hinge and matched with this guy and you know how after you match with someone that's when their last name shows up and he seemed like really cool I'm not very invested in the app I don't really ever follow through on them but whatever um so we have the same last name and I don't have a super

common last name. And now I'm just like, are you some distant cousin that I've never known about? And like, what do you even do in this situation? Is this one of those where you just decide I'm just done with dating forever. I'm just done living forever. Like i need to resign from life okay because yeah i think i somehow matched with a distant family member on hinge and i feel really weird and i don't think this is worth suicide yeah a little harsh on yourself hi i it's not your fault why does hinge not show you the last name until you man that seems like something you should see right away. Is that something super secretive? I don't know.

Do you see a lot of last names at all on dating apps? No, but I don't know. But Tinder back in the day, it would just be a first name, but that wouldn't be a big reveal once you match. Okay, now you can go. I guess they're actually showing you more than the others. Well, Hinge is the one that's based on your mutual friends, right? So I think maybe it's just like Hinge is based on mutual friends? I think so.

That's the idea. Hinge is upon like a person, I think. People gotta stop asking us about dating apps. We don't know a goddamn thing about it. But I will tell you this much. It's not worth killing yourself. And I tell people to kill themselves all the time. But I would not. But I'll tell you this as well.

Incest is hot in the streets these days. A little potential incest might get your engine revving a little bit. You know, like, did I just fuck my cousin? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe I'll put it on Pornhub and we'll get number one. We'll fucking get all the views. I mean, we've gotten this question before.

I think it all depends on your name, too. You match with a Feidelberg it's like that's weird you match even like a Clancy's not that crazy and certainly if you have like a Smith or a Jones it's like what are you going to do but you know if you're in Feidelberg and you're fucking a Feidelberg you're probably banging a relative don't kill yourself

but also don't go on the date probably listen if it's in your head this much just don't even bother right right you know it's not worth the hassle yeah you're David Price in it you's in your head this much, just don't even bother. Right, right. You know, it's not worth the hassle. Yeah. David Price in it. You're in your own head. God damn it.

Son of a bitch. Not good. Hey, what's up, guys? So I was on the first date the other night with this girl, and friends and all of them that you were arrested, what would they assume that you were arrested for? I guess she uses it as a way to get to know someone. That's a decent question. Bananas. But anyway, curious to hear your answers.

Thanks. Like this girl a lot. She should start like a podcast or something. That is a great question. If you were to be arrested, if your family found out you were arrested, what would they assume it's for? Drunk in public. Something alcohol related?

Yeah, obviously. I think that's the safest answer possible. Yeah, that's a pretty good one. What would my family assume? Oh, murder. Better to be drunk in public than a murderer, I feel like. Brennan, answer the question. What would it be? I mean, it's got to be alcohol involved.

You think? Yeah. You think if someone called up and was like, Kevin's been arrested, you'd be like... Oh, for you? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's the question. I thought you meant for me. No, for you, like probably...

Like a rage-induced incident? Snapping and just losing all control. Yeah, that was where I was going. You like we're going michael douglas yeah falling down style it would be what's like the term that like menacing in public or something like that i would just be like god damn it fuck everybody it's gonna be that way you know it's gonna be probably just like acting how you act on the on the podcast but in some i'm to go to my deli. They're not going to have the chicken, and I'm going to be like, fuck this! It's going to be something very minor. That's the last straw.

Oh, yeah. Big-time straw that broke the camel's back. And then you probably get control over it real quick. Probably pick you up at the jailhouse, and you're just like, sorry. It's perfectly normal. Back to normal. I just needed to get it out. What's the worst thing?

Thank God for this podcast because that's where I get it out. That's a pretty bad one if we're being honest. Inciting a riot. Not great. What would be the – I guess murder. I think the R word. Oh, yeah, rape. I mean if someone was like, hey, it's probably rape.

He probably forced himself on a girl. That's the worst. Because even murder. Like if I murdered someone, I don't know. could spin that it's like it's kind of badass or like you know i don't know he's crazy he's a crazy motherfucker find out someone r-worded it's like you're the worst person alive it's it's i mean it's the worst time to be a rapist right now it's for sure never been a worse time it's never been a great time to be a racist although i guess yeah i guess there were times when it wasn't so bad. I'm just speaking factually here.

We didn't really care about rape for a long time. This is just a fact. This is a fact. I don't endorse it. I wish we cared about rape all the time. But it's really more of a recent thing that we care about rape a lot. Facts. These are just facts.

Again, if it were up to me 100 of earth's existence we would have not we would have been upset about rape we just started like two years ago i wish it wasn't that way i want to be clear about this but i'm just next voicemail. Hey, this is Brooke. I just want to say I love you guys so much, and I wanted to get your take on something. So I met this guy on dating app, and we texted for a little bit, but things kind of faded out.

But then today he texted me out of the blue asking if I wanted to go to a wedding as his plus one that he just realized he had for Friday, which is like a few days away. So clearly his real date passed out, can't go, whatever. But this kid and I have literally never met in real life. And I just think it's wild that you would ask a girl that you've never met before as a first date to a wedding. We're your friends, your family, you're going to meet this girl. So I think that's kind of crazy. Would you guys ever do this? And thoughts.

Two, is this actually a really great idea? Because weddings are super romantic, there's lots of drinking and dancing, it's kind of rom-com-y. So let me know your thoughts. I think I have my guess is that Fido Brooks is going to like this move. Inviting someone to a wedding? Like this forward. Never met before.

Only talked on a dating app. Fucking definitely got with it. Yeah, I knew it. I know my boy. I'm not. Especially because it's like kind of Costanza too. It's like this is so crazy. And you're meeting all your best friends who are like,

they're happiest. So like, yeah, you're on at a wedding. They're on. It's like, you're showing your best self. You are your best at a wedding.

No doubt. You look, you know, you're dressed up. You, you're, yeah, you're,

you're surrounded by people who like you theoretically. Um, I could see this definitely being rom-commy. I was going to, you know, write another script here. You call it blind Date or some shit. And that's the first time they've ever met.

But it's also weird. It's definitely weird. But some of the great best movies aren't weird. Yeah, that's the thing. I mean, there's a fine line between weird and romantic. And if you're good looking, you're romantic. If you're ugly, you're weird. Usually.

It's like a season. I'm sorry. I love that when he, in the first season of Master of None, when he took a girl on, he's like, let's go to Nashville. Right. You just hop on a plane and go. Yeah. It's either like you're a total weirdo or like, wow, that was so spontaneous.

There's weird and spontaneous. There's weird and romantic. So if you do it, you got to do it. You know? I don't think you can like invite this girl and then like, I don't know, leave her hanging. You know what I mean? If you're going to be romantic, you gotta be romantic all night long.

You gotta like make this girl like the focal point of your night, which is, I don't know, going to a wedding solo is kind of fun too. If you want to just party with your friends and shit. So if you, if you're going to bring a stranger, you have to recognize that you cannot leave that girl hanging. Cause she's going to be, that's, that's, that's reasonable. Well, if you go with a normal date, though, it's like, hey, I'm over by the bar. She's over on the dance

floor. I'm talking to the parents, and you're eating food. You can kind of maneuver around. The onus falls on her, too, a little bit. You can't accept this invitation unless you know you can maybe hold your own, if necessary. Right, so this is a good way to be like, let's put it down, babe. You in?

You interested in me? Put your nuts on the table. Hey, KFC and Fights. Quick question I had. My girl recently introduced the option of watching porn with her to, you know, bring up our sex life and everything like that.

I've never done it with a girl before as far as watching porn. I've definitely had sex. Anyways, I'm just kind of wondering if there's any sort of etiquette as far as watching porn goes, as far as preference or what you do, what you put on, and what have you. There's a big-time etiquette. First step, I think just play it safe and let her pick. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Or if she's like, what? Oh, I don't know. I can see a girl being finicky about that. You have to pick your most G-rated shit. Dude. Because if you go with what your heart wants, you are going to scale her out of the building in no time.

I mean, I've been asked that before. Never like we're laying in bed watching it, but I've been like, you know, little dangerous texts. And it's like, what porn do you watch? And I'm like, oh my fucking God. Like suffocation gangbangers. That'll hurt you when you have to text it out.

You're like, text, like delete, delete, delete. Text it out, delete, delete. You're on option D. This is still too rough. What porn do I watch? D-Day footage. Footage of the atom bomb being dropped. Nagasaki.

Oh, man. The storm at the beach in Normandy really gets me going. Sick fuck. No, here's what you do. You just, like, put on a threesome. Find a threesome. Threesome?

Just put on a threesome. Like a DP threesome? Well, I was going to go with not one of those. Okay. But if you threw that out there. I don't think that counts as a threesome. Like a DP threesome? Well, I was going to go with not one of those. Okay. But if you threw that out there. I don't think that counts as a threesome. If you don't take two dicks. Yeah, there are some times

I just get mad at porn where it's like threesome, but it's like, oh, what? She was getting fucked in the pussy and the mouth? That's not a threesome. There's a take. There is a take. If you get like Eiffel-powered girls, not even a threesome. That's not even a fucking threesome. Doesn't even count.

That's a G-rated threesome. Fuck that thing. Yo, that's crazy. You got to be wild to do a true DP in your personal life. You got to be a wild girl. No doubt. Wild, dude. Pop that on.

I think you can even get away with like a real DP. And if she's a real one, if not, then, if then, yeah, that's true. It's like,

it's like going to the wedding. It's like, well, we're not going to match. This is going to work out. Yeah. And then, you know,

and then, but then also, you know, girls are listening now. So listen, when you do this with your guy and he puts on a threesome, albeit a DP, you have to realize that means that's,

you know, his, like, that's his change. Yeah, that's his changeup. That's his changeup. Throw on jerk-off instructions. Little J-O-I. Girls, you do not want to do this. It's just a girl.

What kind of boy do you watch? It's just a girl sitting there fully clothed. Demanding me to do it. Last voicemail of the day is brought to you by Lightstream. Have you ever looked at your credit card statement and you've been shocked by the interest rate? Well, here's the answer. If you've ever looked at your credit card statement, you are shocked by the interest rate. Plenty of idiots out there. I'm certainly not looking at mine.

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BC. So, quick would you rather for you. I was thinking and me and my girlfriend were both thinking. I came up with one part she came up the other so basically it's would you rather uh every time you're having sex you uh like every noise you make every phrase word you say it has to be in like a sing-song manner so whether it's like moans or like just like phrase like dirty talk phrase it's got to be like you're singing um or every time you come you cry uh let us know i mean i think that's your answer right there one of those

made a girl laugh out loud in the background the other one did not you can't cry every time you come come on i almost do uh but the sing-song Dirty Talk. Oh, yeah. That's, you know. Like, uh. I'm gonna stick my cock. Oh, baby, I love that pussy. Maybe that's not the move.

I love how you hit that pussy. You went R&B on him. Maybe it's time to let the old ways die. That was just a Star is Born. I was going to say, your dirty talk is getting real weird, bro. Real weird. Baby, will you please suck that? I can't do it.

Yeah, that's hard. That's the thing about it. It's hard to do. Suck that dick. Yeah, play with my balls. That tight pussy. Pussy. Oh, my God, you are so wet.

We are getting looks. We are getting looks right now from Superfoodist or BC. Oh, you like that? Is that the way you like it? That was just a Backstreet Boys song. Is that how you like it? I am not drunk, I swear. That's it for today.

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