KFC Radio - Jo Koy Returns, Cory G, and We Miss Bars

Episode Date: April 7, 2020

Don't forget to Subscribe, Rate 5 Stars, and leave a review! KFC and Feits go over the list of Barstool Quarantine Houses and decide which house they'd wanna stay in. They discuss the new Louis CK stand up special. After 4 weeks in quarantine, the guys go over what they miss most about bars. Voicemails include: Covering Up a Crime, Sex Equivalent, and Spiderman or Orgasms. Cory G (@corygfitness) joined the show. He tells us about how he used to be an actual coal miner, how he started his first gym, and what we can do to get in shape while in quarantine. Jo Koy returns to the show. We discuss being quarantined with family, how coronavirus has effected the comedy scene, and Jo tells us about a heartwarming, cathartic moment he had with Tiffany Haddish at one of his recent arena shows.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Alright, it's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Podcast Network. We are in week four of quarantine, a month in, and pretty much all anybody has is the internet and TV. And I feel like internet content to me, this is how my day goes. I open up any social media platform, and I hear, I'm a savage. And I just fucking want to just break it and throw it out the window and be like, I can't do it anymore.

Who sings that song? Megan Thee Stallion. That's Megan Thee Stallion? Yeah. I just fucking, I don't, I actually, I don't like the song, but I like the TikToks from the beginning. But then the TikToks bleed into IG, and now it's onto Twitter, I don't like the song, but I liked the TikToks from the beginning, but then the TikToks bleed into IG and now it's under Twitter. And it's like, I can't do any more Savage and I can't do any more Joe exotic.

Cause folks, it's time to admit that wasn't even that good a documentary. It wasn't that good. Everyone was so excited for this episode. That's supposedly allegedly coming this week, which Jeff Lowe is a fucking piece of shit. Yeah. I mean, it was a good couple episodes. It was – you know what I wonder?

Like when I watched Jersey Shore back in 2010, whenever that first dropped, and people were like – like it was – they were like at the zoo. They were watching like a science experiment. They were looking at aliens. And I was like, these are just the kids I go to high school with. I wonder if down in Florida and Oklahoma if people are like, yeah, there was the large cat zoo,

and they have guns, and they have no legs, and they fuck each other. Yeah, no big deal, dude. That's just life down here. So I think it was a very interesting couple episodes for the way we live to be like, oh, that's how the other half does it. But I mean, we're acting like it was, know the jinx or fucking you know some of these i i always do i just when i when anyone ever asked me for something to do something at barstool sports

they say yes it could be ad it could be snapchat it could be anyone i'm like yes i'll do that and today was like one of my first times ever going No And it was For the Snapchat show they asked me to do a take On the Joe Exotic The person who dressed like Joe Exotic and did the dance The average Yeah I said I'm done with Joe Exotic takes What else you got going on

First no ever I was like no I'm done Can't do it Well the newest quarantine content are these quarantine houses. Everybody asking, dude, why is my nose so red on these fucking cameras? What is that about? I don't know. You look like Rudolph.

Every time. It doesn't matter if it's the morning, if it's the night, if it's cold, hot, if I'm drinking, not drinking. My nose is bright red. And it's not like if you saw me normal, fine, that's on camera. It's these fucking cameras. I'm going to clean it up. Anyway, quarantine houses is the new meme going around. So you take a TV show, a brand, a league, whatever, you organize it into houses of six people. So the first one I saw was the housewives one. Which house would you want to live in? And it was all different combinations of real housewives. Bethany and

Dorinda and that bitch who calls herself a countess. So, naturally, Barstool made one. Barstool quarantine houses. Do we know, was this Josh? Is this Tommy Smokes? Do we know who made this? I do not know the answer to that.

It came from Viva La Stool, which leads me to believe it was Josh. Tommy also runs that and likes to stir the pot, so maybe it was him. But whenever this shit happens, whether it's a March Madness bracket with your favorite podcast, whether it's a mural being painted on the wall, whether it's a song that we all sang, imagine, and people get cut from it or left out or they don't like their standing in it. It's drama. It's drama. So this is sure to stir up tons of drama where people are picking who they want to live with. And if your house isn't being picked, I'm just sure this is going to be a shit show. But 12 houses, six people each,

72 barstool personalities all organized into different houses where you want to live, John. I definitely don't want to live in my fucking house. Where's your house? House 3. Alex Cooper from Call Me Daddy, Gaz,

Brandon Newman, Fights, Smitty. White Sox Dave. And it's like, I don't personally dislike anyone in my house, but I don't vibe with anyone in my house either. I don't want to be in that house. That house, Tommy Smoke said he did a breakdown of this, like Survivor style, and his one line for me was perfect. He had like two paragraphs describing what would be happening in his house, no mention of me, and then

one line afterwards said, Fidelberg would spend every waking second trying to escape. It's nothing against you individually, just like I don't do anything with any of these people i like it's there i don't even have like one lifeline where it's like okay the two of us can be together i don't i that's really with anyone there house eight for me i have frankie who would be like my man and hank who i like i i get along Wallow, after how long are we living?

I mean, I'm assuming you live for the quarantine, right? So if I'm in a house with Wallow for like four months, we could barely do 40 minutes on stage with him without him shaving your face and ready to kill someone. I got Mantis's creepy ass, and I know that Trish is going to be like, do you want to play one-on-one? Do you want to fight? Do you want to do something? I'm like, I don't want to do it. I got Mantis' creepy ass, and I know that Trish is going to be like, do you want to play one-on-one? Do you want to fight? Do you want to do something?

I'm like, I don't want to do it. Just leave me alone. So I feel like me and Frankie would just huddle up and be like, Hank, come on over here. Come on over here. I think Wallo would be a good person to have in the quarantine because he respects personal space. He's a prisoner.

He understands this is where I live that's where you live although also leads me to believe he might just get out of me and turn me into a bitch or something like oh he's what

he's told us that prison wasn't like that it wasn't it that's all that's all television. Yes, except did Wallow have the opportunity to run the fucking pen? I feel like in this one he'd be like, oh, all right, so you're like the elder statesman. You've been around for a decade plus. Hold my pocket, bitch. And I'd be like, okay, sure, I will.

I'm looking at what just caught my eye. Ryan Whitney, Smokes, Balls, Big Ev, Trill. Oh. So I love Whitney. I think Ryan Whitney is the funniest person at Barstool. Smokes is at least good conversation. We went to Fordham together. We got similarities.

Love Glennie Balls. Love Big Ev. Love Trill. And then you have a, like, 40-year comedian. Yeah, that's a good house. It's a strong one. The two houses I had eyes on at the start were one and six. I think Dan, Liz, Karabas, Ken Jack, Trent, and Taylor LeJuan.

That's a good house. I think Taylor's a really good dude. Obviously, Big Daddy Trent. Karabas the one that that's a good house. I think Taylor's a really good dude. Obviously big daddy, Trent. And Trent, that's like, that's half of the whole milk boys. Right. You get the whole milk gang.

Uh, obviously Dan, Ken, check, stand up. And then, uh, and then Ken,

Jack, Ken, Jack's a funny ass dude too. And then six is a strong house with Roan, Fran, Zaha, Pat, Cole,

and Julie. Oh, Oh, wait wait i didn't see that one that's my house i won't be there yeah there's not a there's not a single like oh man you know i'm good with everybody there there that that is six is strong and then i'll tell you one house i personally like a lot house 10 i think i don't have a single problem with anybody there. But you might have a problem with the amount of wrestling that happens. Fun fight in house. I was going to say,

the cons YP nightly battle with KB being like, well, I'm going to school you on some real shit. And Paul dives in there with his helmet. And then Bob Fahey doing real off-the-top wrestling moves, and PFT's like, let's play rugby, and I'm just like, does anybody want to drink and watch TV

in this house? Does anybody want to just do something quiet right now? That is... I think 1, 6, 10, and 12 are probably your best houses there. How about house 7? Portnoy,

Marina, which is Portnoy, Marina, which is Portnoy extended, Jeff Nadeau, Rico Bosco, but like fat, and Guido, Frank Fleming just being fucking crazy Frank Fleming, and I would have to imagine Sophia would kill herself within minutes, right?

I would have to just team up with Ellie and be like, do you want to just tweet on social media right now? Dave might try to escape that house harder than I try to escape my house. Dave might be like, what the fuck? Get me out of here. I think Dave is trying to escape any house he's put in. I don't think he can tolerate maybe a house with Dan,

and that would be about it everyone else he'd be like get me the fuck off this planet uh but the the tommy smokes having uh in in i only read the write-up from my house but he was like gas would immediately try and become uh alice cooper's uh producer and uh and like, despite her repeatedly saying she does not need one and she can do it all herself and guys are like, no, no, no, here, I'll film. I don't know, just off the top of my head, you can start off every video like, all right, Pauly.

My favorite house is the Brandon Walker house. Oh, wait, Brandon Walker, you were left off this entirely, despite the fact that you're on like 40% of our programming now. I don't know if that was intentional. I don't know what's worse. If this was just an intentional

jab at him, or if someone actually forgot about Brandon Walker's entire existence. But either way, your boy Brandon is not happy. I genuinely think he's not happy. I don't think it's a bit i think i think brandon walker is very sad about this which is exactly what i'm talking about like who actually cares who cares how are you that upset the only thing i would say is that

the only thing i like about brandon walker he's very very motivated he came to me during the quarantine and he was like i want to do more i want to make sure i'm at the top of the pack i want to make sure that i'm always like at the forefront of everyone's mind and so if you're if you're like shooting for that and you get left off of a list of 72 i could see that i'm getting deep so uh you're the 73rd pick at a company that might hurt so um condolences to brandon my my final my official pick though is for sure uh house six that's just unless unless joey molinaro gets on your nerves if he just does impressions like all the time but just like stop doing frank caliendo man just stop doing it other than that i don't know much about jo. I've obviously never really seen him.

I met him briefly, but not extensively. He seems like a very good Indianapolis dude. Indianapolis people, I feel like. Yeah, they're all good. Don't worry about it. You're good. All right, yeah, so that's quarantine houses. You'll be seeing them everywhere.

Make sure you fill out your Barstool house and keep up with all the quarantine content coming out of Barstool. As far as quarantine content goes, the best quarantine content I've seen, hands down, in a runaway, is what I thought was going to be some of the more controversial content, Louis C.K. dropping a new special. Louis put it out on his streaming service. And so as the guys who do comedy and have all the comedians come through, we got to talk about it. But since we are all sitting at home, one of the only things, the activities you can do is online shop.

And there's a lot to do. Everything from just like your day-to-day shopping down to buying new clothes and new shoes and maybe money that you would be spending out you're no longer spending at the bar or the restaurant so now you can spend it on yourself shopping i am straight up addicted to buying vinyl records i buy five a night oh yeah oh yeah i'm jack here's the problem right huh you're expensive right uh it's there's there's really no rhyme or reason to the pricing of vinyl records I've got. Some for $16, some for $80.

It doesn't do anything. And you're just like, okay, buy it, whatever. I don't do much research. I'm like, yeah, sure, that one looks good. But I've really boned myself here because I obviously got the record player, and I just started watching High Fidelity on Hulu which is unbelievable it's so and um and it's all set in a record store and they're like talking about so they'll talk about some old record I'm like well I gotta get that and it's just we not have this in my vinyl collection just constantly having vinyl records

mailed to my house well make, make sure you, uh, make sure you rock with honey to see if there's any vinyl promo codes out there. Honey is an online browser plugin that automatically will pick up any promo code for whatever it is you are shopping. So if you are at target buying everyday stuff, when you go to checkout, uh,

you click apply coupons and it will run through all the promo codes in existence. Find out if there's anything for your toiletries and your everyday stuff. If you're at Best Buy and you're buying gadgets, if you're on eBay, I'm in the market right now. I'm trying to get an old Nintendo 64. If you're on eBay, there might be a promo card. Walmart, Sephora, Macy's, all your major retailers,

they're going to have promo codes available. And rather than you having to know them all, you having to search for them. How many times I've done that before? Promo code March 2020 for this, and then it's like they never really work or they're not actually promo codes. Honey cuts out all that bullshit for you. It automatically applies any promo code in existence, the best ones for whatever it is you're purchasing. It's literally free money. You have no reason not to do it. It installs in seconds.

It's secure. It's reliable. It doesn't slow down your connection or your browsing at all. And you can add it for free when you go to joinhoney.com slash KFC. I am just begging you on this one. Just go to joinhoney.com slash KFC. I am, I'm just like begging you on this one. Just go to join honey.com slash KFC. When you see how easy it is, it's like trying to think of a comparable thing that like I was maybe resistant to at one point. And now it's just like the absolute fucking norm. You know what I was

resistant to? What? For a long time? Text messaging. Right. Okay. Okay. So honey is, is text message. I remember this too. The girl that I was dating, my very first girlfriend, I talked about her before. She's fucking from Kenya and Barbados, all over the world. And basically like everywhere else in the world started text messaging before America did. So she was telling us about text messaging. And I remember me and my brother being like, okay, yeah, we're going to type out messages to each other sure thing you fucking moron dude i vividly remember the commercial it was a verizon wireless commercial and people were at a concert

and it was like hey where are you can't see you or something like that and the message would pop up and i was like what kind of fucking use this you just call them and say where are you and guess what i'm back on that train it's just the whole world has not come and say, where are you? And guess what? I'm back on that train. It's just the whole world has not come with me. Yeah, you are on that train alone. You are on like a quarantine train right now. Nobody in fucking sight. But don't resist this one.

You're going to regret it if you do. Go to joinhoney.com slash KFC. Start saving free money today. What I thought was the last thing the world needed, I'm completely changing my tune. When I saw Louis C.K. drop the special, and I was thinking about how already polarized the world is, and how much people are already at each other's throats on social media, and how opinions are just clashing left and right, I thought a Louis C.K. prominently featured special

is not what the world needs right now. And I've learned two things. One is I don't think it's actually caused that big of a stir. So I don't know if that's good or bad. I mean, Louis probably as a guy who wants to go back to normal life is probably like, okay, that was the first time i've done something that hasn't been headline news but i think when you drop a special you usually like some buzz uh so that's the first thing i noticed and number two i learned that you can be weird

with your masturbation habits and you can even maybe do some very uh unsavory things with your masturbation and you can still be fucking funny yeah i very very fucking funny i wish only the best people had talent right i wish that tyreek hill wasn't so fast and i wish louis ck wasn't so funny but there are facts of life fucking are man i don't think i was i wasn't rooting against him per se. There was even – in some of my darkest moments, I have felt like him in a way. Boy, real dark. Yeah, but I mean there are plenty of people out there who were so appalled with him the same way they were appalled with me. And does that mean that you shouldn't be able to crack jokes and make content

ever again? You know, I've had those, those conversations to myself in my own head. So there's definitely been times where I was like hoping selfishly, like, all right, you know,

if he makes it through it, I can make it through. Then there were times where I was like, you know, I would prefer, I would prefer the funniest of comedians to be people who haven't had any sort of run-ins like this. And now I'm just over all that. And I'm not thinking about any of that. And I'm just here to be people who haven't had any sort of run-ins like this and now i'm just over all

that and i'm not thinking about any of that and i'm just here to be entertained and his special what is the name i don't even know the name sincerely sincerely his special i don't i don't know if maybe recency bias prisoner of the moment it's one of the funniest specials i've ever seen i mean it is fucking hilarious. I laughed out loud. It's probably the hardest I've laughed since Nate Bargatze's Tennessee Kid. Yeah. I mean, it's...

And his... Once you can... If you don't have a personal problem with it, and he's got an audience of, I think he said, 1,400 people that are chanting his name. They are in full support. They're laughing out loud. I wasn't doing that. I thought that was chanting his name. They are like in full support. They're laughing out loud. I wasn't,

I wasn't doing that. I thought that was bizarre. Standing up. Like he's a returning hero. It was just like, I'm going to see this dude's funny. And even when I saw it, it's seven 99.

Cause Louie's Louie was the first guy to, you know, he just put everything on his own website. He circumvented live nation and all the streaming services and all that shit. I think he was being regarded as a hero because of that. Then, obviously, all his shit went to hell. He came back. I thought that was a pretty ballsy move to be like, oh, all right.

You're charging $8. I can get a month of a streaming service for this. I'm going to get an hour from you. It's worth every fucking penny. I would have paid $50 for that if i had known how funny it is and you can be i would have paid 50 i would have paid whatever he charged for it knowing how funny it is now whatever his next special is carte blanche you can charge whatever the fuck he wants and i'm sure some people can have a problem with that i'm sure some people go the other direction like the people who are cheering for him but if you are just talking about funny and stand-up delivery

and like the mastery of that craft i can't imagine he's not in the top fucking five still you know it's like he had he there's so many things he does that are just like obviously all his bits are so funny but he has this just this little thing. You actually had it in your blog today. You had a clip when he's talking about – he's basically making a joke about Pascal's Wager where it's believe in God. The fucking – the quad chart where it's if you believe – the only way that everything ends up perfectly is if you believe in God and there is a God. Everything else sucks. Everything else doesn't matter.

The only one that is perfect is believe in God and there is a God, everything else sucks. Everything else doesn't matter. The only one that was perfect is believe in God. It was God. But he talks about how, if you're an atheist and you, you better hope there's no God. And the way he just does that. And he looks up and goes, Oh,

I'm with the beard and everything. It was right after that, when he tries to make his case and he's like, yeah, yeah, I know I'm just going to go. I'm going to, that,

that to me. And that's where i really think uh i've i feel like i've learned that like those are the things you pick up doing doing your set a million times like on the road like all right when i when i made that noise when i when i exhaled that way it really got a laugh and when i you know all that shit and i don't know how long he's been i don't know if he did do all that because he wasn't you know i feel like you heard every time louis took the stage you like heard it was like chapelle you know so i don't know how long he's been – I don't know if he did do all that because he wasn't – I feel like you heard – every time Louis took the stage, you heard. It was like Chappelle. So I don't know if he really did have time to perfect all that.

No, he did. There were a lot of stories about him. He was back on the regular circuit? Yeah. Yeah. People were upset because it wasn't – they weren't getting warned that they were going to see a Louis C.K. show. Well, yeah. But I'm saying, I mean, I remember, like,

a couple instances of that, but not, like, you know, a lot of these comics are doing that shit four times a week for a year before they do a special. But it is, I cannot, from just a strictly funny point of view, putting aside everything else, I cannot recommend that shit enough. There are parts of it, too where like it almost feels like he's like he's always been controversial i mean fuck yeah a very popular bit that i never found funny i never understood at all about the n-word and uh i always like that whole thing about the barista who he calls the n-word like who's just a white hippie i i never got that bit but people like it

um but so he's always said anything but this one did have a feel of it where he's like, I'm going to – he did like every controversial thing. I've been back, right? Like I've been canceled, and here I am. So it's almost like he's a dog who realized he wasn't even leashed up anymore. Right. Here I go. What's very cool about like when you are like I truly – and I'm not just saying this.

I truly don't give a fuck anymore. Like I've made – you're either down with me or you're not. I've found – he talks about like I found my true friends, and that's very funny too. He's like your true friends are never the friends you want to be your friends. You got your fun friends. You got your party friends. You got your friends, and then you got your fun friends you got your party friends and then you got your but he knows like who's his partners are he knows who his sponsors are he knows who his fans are

and he knows who his enemies are and he doesn't fucking care anymore and that that level it's like it's like the the comedy version of like man on fire like i you cannot fucking stop me you cannot scare me and i mean mean, he hits, he hits nine 11. He hits the Boston marathon. He hits racial stuff. He hits the, the R word, I guess. So they can't even say it anymore. Uh, God religion. He, the last 10 minutes is him talking about jerking off in front of people, which I didn't know. I don't know how I felt about that. I was like, if he didn't address it at all, was going to be like what the fuck to just make it part of your comedy set that's probably pretty infuriating for the victims and the people who are against them but he doesn't fucking care and it's like

it is one of the funniest hours i've ever seen in my life so um i i don't know what do you think though the fact that there's kind of a lack of controversy, you think that either signals that it's A, not successful, or B, that he's just like he's just back now. I think it's successful. I think people just don't want to say it was funny. I bet a lot

of people watch that. I bet a lot of people. I was texting people being like, look, I just want to recommend something for you. I'm going like, look, I just want to, got to recommend something for you. I've got to tell you about something that's really funny for an hour. Really fucking funny. And obviously like, you know, we're going to be pretty public with our, like we're saying

on a, quite a popular podcast. But I think regular people were probably just like, well, boy, that was funny. And then don't say anything else. Yeah. Like I, you know, I can't, he made it so good that it's bulletproof. Like you can't even really knock it. I did find it interesting where he was just like, I thought those people were cool with me jerking off in front of them. And like they weren't.

And I'm like, boy, I don't know. That's probably oversimplifying things greatly louis but you know if you take his word and it's obviously you know which story or which version you're gonna believe but that was that was dicey that was like when he was talking about how like everyone he's like everyone has a thing and like i don't know your thing do you know how lucky you are and he goes fucking obama even the little like the little segues like so how you guys been for i don't know two years we're getting global trouble when he said he goes ah i was in france last year because i had to flee the nation i would have fled the planet if they had another

one of those like it's just he's got away with words that you know even i could i could see even some of the the most staunch louis ck haters being like like snickering like fuck that was funny if you watched it you thought it was fine and you know and it's fine if you don't want to watch it but if you watched it like you couldn't have not thought that was funny right and and maybe you're saying, but you don't believe it because it is undeniably hilarious. So, I mean, it's been a – we're on a run right now. We had Segura, and we did Bert, we did Louie, and then D'Elia is in like a few days, I think, or like next week. So those guys all – I mean, let's call a spade a spade.

If your schedule had your your comedy special dropping and then quarantine started you're lucky motherfucker pretty nice time yeah like it's a pretty like uh have you watched for a great year yet the video the no no let's get into john's inability to handle any sort of secondary embarrassment. They did a comedy stream over the weekend, comedy laugh aid. It was with All Things Comedy, which is Bill Burr's network, and they had a star-studded cast of comics come out. They did a live stream, and it raised money for all the comedians who were out of work. The big star of the night was Adam Sandler.

I don't know how. I'm sure Bill Burr just called in the biggest favor, got Adam Sandler to hop on a live stream in his house, and Burt Kreischer was the one to introduce it. And Burt admittedly is like, Adam Sandler is my idol. Now, Burt was probably shit-faced,

and he just geeks out. Hardcore. He is like, his face is up against the fucking screen, and he... Can we just make john can we force him to watch it right now nick can we do audio yeah we can do that yeah we're gonna make john watch it we're gonna make you watch this i think like i'd rather you show me like a beheading this is this is gonna be tough for me this is our boy, Burt Kreischer, introducing Adam Sandler on this stream

and then just completely blowing it with his all-time item. Ladies and gentlemen, this next comedian is one of my comedic heroes. He is the reason I do stand-up. He is the reason I've been writing movies that have never been made, but I love his movies. I love everything about this guy. Without further ado, the guy that defined all our personalities, Adam Sandler. Oh, my God.

That was unbelievable. Thank you. Thanks. Adam, have you ever heard of Bert? He doesn't think you know who he is. I've seen Bert, right? That's all I need. That's all I need.

I've seen him. Have I seen you around a comedy club or something? Or I've seen you on TV? I'm the one guy with these... You go, you go, you go. I'm the one guy, shirtless. You want to hear a cool story, Adam, real quick? Yeah, go ahead.

Back in 1995, you did a show at Pow Wow at Florida State. Do you remember that? Sure. You hung out and ended up smoking weed with a bunch of girls. One of the girls I was dating at the time, she came to my place. We were throwing a party and she was like, you need to leave this place right now and come with us. And I was like, no, not going to happen. And she was like, shut up and leave right now.

The next morning she called me. She goes, you dickhead. You could have partied with Adam Sandler. Bro, I have regretted that every fucking day of my life. Tonight's our night, buddy. Tonight's our night, buddy. Tonight's our night. We'll get past this whole Corona thing, and then me and you will meet up late, bud.

I love it. I love it. Good to see you, man. Dan Whitney, good to see you. My youngest gets me every night. She's like, one more movie. One more movie. I know.

The other night, she goes, let's watch Darkwater. I go, Darkwater? The one about DuPont's flooding the, are you serious? She goes, it's a thriller, Dad. We'll get into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to watch your movie, Precious Gems, soon. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know if they're going to watch it. Bro, I showed them Happy Madison. And not every movie translates. They watched Ace Ventura and the girls go, are we laughing because he's special needs? I go, no, that's not the joke, guys. We watch Happy Gilmore

fucking destroyed in my house. Yeah, good. Thanks, man. Good. Thanks, dude. Yes. It's tough. It's a tough, tough scene. And then – Do you have Netflix? Yes.

He's such a good sport about it. When he asks Adam Sandler, do you have Netflix? And it's like, Bert, Adam Sandler makes like $100 million a year. Adam Sandler puts a movie on Netflix every month. Adam Sandler regularly makes movies for Netflix. He's got Netflix. He's got Netflix. He is Netflix. He's like 50% of Netflix.

Now, Bart is totally self-aware, an incredibly good sport about it. But I sent that to John the night it happened, and he was like, I'm not watching this. All weekend, you just can't convince me to watch that. I can't. I'll never. There's a difference between when they're doing it accidentally and they're just excited.

That's not as hard for me to take. I thought when you explained it to me, I thought you were like he was being a dick to Adam Sandler. No, no, no, no. That is really hard for me to watch. Someone's intentionally being an asshole to someone who's like really famous. I think that's like just that's the worst secondhand investment possible. When he was like, dude, you remember 1995? That show you did? Like, no, dude!

How about 1996? You tell me what I did last week. I don't fucking know. You remember the Florida State 25 years ago? You're Adam Sandler and you have a million memories of shows and movies and all that shit. It was that lineup, though, that they pulled out. I don't know how much money they ended up raising, but that was if you're into stand-up comics or whatever, I'm sure you can go watch the replay. The comedy laugh was just like fucking unbelievable.

So, yeah, there's nothing better than watching John do secondary embarrassment. It's just one day you're going to die from it. Well, God willing. Yeah. Hopefully right in the middle of like one I have to watch and see. That's the message. Someone who forced me to watch a video has to live with the rest of their fucking lives. Like right now you have the you have like the capacity to like withstand it.

But if I if you show that to John when he's like 60, he'll die. He'll die on the spot spot i might kill myself during it and he's like again that's something that's something enjoy that for the rest of your life enjoy knowing that you brought me to my death i'm gonna kill you one day doing that uh we gotta talk about what we miss most in quarantine right now and it ties in nicely with our folks over at Miller Lite. Just sitting down at the bar and cracking a cold one.

It's one of the best things in life. It's as good as it gets. It is. It's actually perfect that this follows Bert. When Bert was explaining it too, we just have a beer with somebody. Me and my dad and my brother just had a beer on the patio yesterday, sat by a fire pit,

had a beer, listened to some Bob Marley, and it's just like, this is beautiful. The absolute best. It was kind of like a bar, only there weren't strangers there. But the strangers are a huge part. Well, so, okay, so that's the thing. So, I'm going to make the argument

for you right now. I like... I've been enjoying just having a Miller Lite on Friday Night Pints, having a Miller Lite by myself, having a Miller Lite on a live stream, I think is the best of both worlds. I'm getting my Miller Lite. I'm getting like my friend interaction and I'm not dealing with the public. I'm not dealing with the strangers, not dealing with the stuff that gives me social anxiety. I'm not out late. I'm already on my couch. I don't have to worry about it.. I don't need to be out in the scenery is not really what matters. What I'm learning is that it's the company and the beer. If you give me a quality Miller Lite in any circumstances, I'm going to enjoy myself. If I could do it with my friends, great. If I do it with strangers around, also great. But the constant is the Miller Lite.

And the best part is that it's only 96 calories and it's only 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. So no matter where you are, whether you are in public, whether you're at home, whether you're with people, with friends, with strangers, alone, doing it virtually, doing it in person, Miller Lite is the original light beer. And so go enjoy a classic, right? You can get it delivered right now. It's available on all the delivery apps. You don't have to touch anybody. You just get your beer dropped off right on your front door. Go back in time and tell me that there would be a

time I could click a couple of buttons on a remote and then beer would just appear on my front step and I would have told you that I time traveled back like fucking back to the future so uh get your miller light it's miller brewing company in milwaukee wisconsin 96 calories 3.2 carbs for 12 ounces enjoy a cold one but you're really hurting without that bar huh dude dude yes i would see my sack of saturday i was zooming and first of all it's shout out to just uh human ingenuity that we can just take something made for business. And like, it means drink now.

Like I'll get a text from buddies. Like you want to zoom? And it's just like, yeah, let's, let's, let's have a drink. So it's,

it's amazing that just so quickly we'd be like, Oh yeah, that's about poisoning yourself now. But the Saturday night we like, I zoomed hard. We zoomed to like 2, 3 o'clock in the morning. And it was a blast. And I had fun.

But it was just – it's not the same. Like I don't miss clubs. I don't miss parties. I miss a bar. A bar, it just – it has that – like you walk into like a dimly lit room where just like one wall is covered in alcohol and your mind switches. You're like, I know what's happening here. I miss like a friend who texts you and be like, yo, you want to grab a beer?

And for a second, like you pretend you might not. Like, I don't know. There's just like – like the sense of camaraderie in a bar when you walk in there. Like everyone just like understood. There's just an unspoken kinship where we're like, look, dude, gonna get drunk we're probably gonna talk to each other but like we know we know what we're doing here today there's no judgment you're you're in the trust tree when you're in the bar you know and it's like you look around and it's like why is that guy here it's like i don't know why are you here we're all fucking here dude so you shut up and drink and and you know forget about your

problems and i feel like i i don't feel like I'm very good at many things, if anything at all. And I've always said I'm just, like, good at going to bars. I just know how to do it. And, like, even, yeah, when we were, like, throwing parties for Barstool, it's one thing. Like, I know I knew, like, the right places to pick, and I know how to do that.

But, I mean, I'm just good at going there. I'm good at talking to the bartenders and knowing the scene. I'm just good. That's the only thing I'm good at is going to a bar. Yeah. It's so hard for some people, I think. It's also so easy to just be – like I miss talking to bartenders. I miss kind of talking to a stranger about a game I don't give a shit about.

I miss playing dark. Even that, knowing just enough. Like I can talk to this guy real quick about the game or about whatever, and then I'm going to stop because anymore he would be upset. He'd be annoyed. It's just like a second nature. I got a feel for these things. I can't do it.

There's so much feeling. You know what one of the greatest feelings in the world is? When you walk by a bar on a Saturday afternoon, you're like, I probably shouldn't go in there. And you're like, you know what? Let's throw this whole fucking weekend in the trash. Let's just do it. I used to always say that. So I lived on 3rd third and park in Hoboken and the path is at like lower,

you know, downtown Hoboken. So I only had to walk three fucking streets and a couple avenues, you know, it was not a long walk, but even just doing that, I had to pass like a dozen bars, like 12 bars on the way home. And all of them were like whispering to me like

i walk by and it would be like hello come in kevin we miss you and it was like i would have to like put the blinders on and just get home if i didn't want to stop in and have one and that turns the two and that turns the four and then you're fucking drunk. Because it's just when you're good at something, you want to do it. It's like you put a basketball in LeBron's hands. He just knows what to do with it. Goodwill hunting, he looks at the fucking chalkboard. He gets this.

It's fucking easy to me. You just tell me that there's a pub right there with a bunch of beers on tap or whatever and music playing and a couple games on. I can do that. It's romanticism, but there's just a sad happiness to bars. We're just like, I fit in here. I get it. They've always been community centers. That's what a public house is.

You don't have your sense of community anymore. You realize you missed the littlest again i'm sure this is like some people think about sports like oh i miss halftime shows like things i didn't think about things i didn't think were good you know what i miss which is so beautiful i miss like the 3 a.m goodbye on a street corner where it's just like it's kind of it's dark out there aren't many streets and you're just like what i mean i'll see you tomorrow that was a blast yeah it's just like, it's kind of, it's dark out. There aren't many streets and you're just like, well, I'll see you tomorrow. That was a blast. And it's like a foggy goodbye. It's probably technically foggy.

Also your mind's a little foggy and it's just like, it's just everything about a bar has this weird. Dude, I, I miss, I want to feel sawdust on my feet in those pubs. I want to open up a bathroom door and go, ah, oh my Jesus. What did someone just piss on top of the toilet on purpose like i miss going into a bar like ah somebody already puked in here i wanted to smell bad i wanted to feel gross i want all of that that's what i miss i miss the bad the bad parts of bars what i miss the most yeah those are the parts that they they remind you what a bar is the bad parts yes oh you know i was thinking like, because of corona and, like, learning about how you can be a very successful bar if you don't get revenue for, like, 10 days.

You're fucked. Well, then what's wrong with this business? What's wrong with this industry? How is that the norm? How is it an industry where everybody says 80 percent of you will fail and there is still an endless line of bar of people who want to open bars i don't see how you fail i pay i pay you 12 for a beer regularly yeah right these are just like one penny and you charge a thousand percent markup and i also i mean i get like in new i don't understand how

anybody survives in new york it's, oh, my rent is 35 grand. Like before we talk about anything else, just to open the doors is 35 a month. But if you're like opening a little like watering hole, I guess it's all relative. But like a little pub somewhere in the middle of the country, those are hard to keep open. Let me tell you something. There's a significant chance that by the time this fucking quarantine ends your boy owns a bar yeah you gotta own a bar one day right we gotta just we gotta own a bar one day right yeah i know like i'm i'm not even i'm like me and my friends have discussed it

like yeah we have a bet for what day um bars open again, and whoever is closest gets to name the bar. I don't know how many people are going to buy one, but it's not totally laughed off. There's like six of us. Let's just get a bar. I mean, I almost bought into Saloon. Did you? They offered me – I mean, at the time, I like, yes, this is like, how could this fail? And then they completely went out of business.

So, I mean, I guess blessing in disguise, but I just like didn't have the money. I think I was saving for a ring at the time and like, I just didn't have it. Otherwise I would have bought into that for sure. It's just something I feel like I'm like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to fail at it and I'm going to be happy. I'm going to check them off my bucket list. Yeah. Like that's something I wanted to do it. I'm going to fail at it. And I'm going to be happy. I'm going to check them off my bucket list. Yeah, like that's something I wanted to do. Fun sequence.

I have a friend whose dad owned a bar in Queens. And he's the one dad who's like, he's the funniest fucking guy. He parties with us. The type of guy who will grab a girl at a wedding and start dancing and twirling. He's just the life of the party. And he owned a bar

in Queens. And he do like the most ridiculous promo you know he's like the guy who like invented like the penny till somebody pees sort of shit he would do he would do uh a reverse cover where everybody gets a dollar if you walk in the door just like dumb shit like that just to get people to laugh like you just did and go, yeah, all right, I'll go in there. Yeah, that's funny. You give me the cover instead. All the dumbest ideas just because it was like, well, if I don't, I'm going to fail in like 35 seconds.

I want to have a Paddy's Pub. I want to have four people regularly. I don't know how I can let them. It's just hemorrhaging money at all times, but that's the kind of bar I like to go to. I want a bar with a rickety cricket. That's what I want. I want it to be as bad as possible.

And, I mean, that was Tin Lizzy. That was pretty much every bar I've ever really loved have been the worst bars I've ever been to. The only one worse than the bar itself was how it was run. Yes. I mean, the guys at Tin Lizzy, looking back on it, were probably 28. And I used to think of them as like, you know, adults. And they very openly were like, I just bought into this to get laid.

That was it. That was the only reason. I think my worst at Tin Lizzy was when I bartended there. Yeah, you probably never actually saw it when it was, like, fun. You probably just saw it at its worst and its most empty. That was the funny time where it was, like, in my head, because I liked Barstool for so much. For those people who don't know, when I was interning at Barstool 10 years ago now,

I didn't get paid. It was like, Dave, we ran out of money. Dave was like, I can't get paid. It was like, Dave, we ran out of money. Dave was like, I can't. I was getting $400 a month, I think, or something like that. And Dave was like, I can't afford to give you money anymore. And I was like, where can I work? Which, by the way, for the folks who don't understand, it was $400 a month. It was not like, I can't afford to pay you your $50,000 salary.

It was like, I don't have $400 to break off for you right now. And then Kevin felt bad about it. So Kevin got Tin Lizzy to get me a guest bartending spot so I could get some cash. And in my head, I thought it was about to be like a bar school party. Like I thought I was going to show up there. It was,

it was a random night. It was like a Tuesday night or Thursday. It wasn't a big night. And I was like, it's going to be crazy there. Literally the only people there were Kevin, his girlfriend. And Kevin gave me like,

I forget. I, I, I've, I've told the story of anywhere between 60 and 200 i don't know how much you put yeah it was a decent chunk because i remember being like oh see i knew it wasn't gonna be a barstool party but i figured you might get a few dollars i was like oh nobody's literally going there yeah i think two butlers and the thing is too i ended I ended up I had to buy all my clothes. I had to buy black jeans and a black shirt. Looking back, the fact that Tin Lizzy had like, you better wear black if you're bartending.

Like, fuck off, Tin Lizzy. I will bartend butt-ass naked with my ass all out. Fuck you. I ended up losing money bartending. And I love it. I'm like, if I could pick one bar to go back to, it would be Tinley. Let's get into our voicemails before Joe Coy and Corey Gregory. Voicemails today are brought to you by Stitch Fix.

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What's up? KFC fights BC. So I got a hypothetical for you watching the end of season one of Succession. And it got me thinking, if you guys were guaranteed that you'd get some money after covering up some sort of heinous crime, would you do it? Obviously, you don't have to see the crime. You don't have to know about it. All you have to do is just go ahead and cover it up, and you're going to be guaranteed that

sum of money. Thanks, guys. Well, I suppose it depends on what the crime is, right? Yeah. Well, probably not. Probably yes. yeah well probably not probably yes if i if i came to you anything short of a genocide kevin i'm probably i mean you say that but like i'm in the middle of ozark i'm at the very end of ozark season three and like if you came to me right now with a cartel situation for money, I'm probably not doing it.

Unless it's, like – Wait, what do you mean? What cartel situation? Like, this is a cover-up. They said I don't even have to know about it. I don't know how I cover up something I don't know about. Well, that's what I mean, though. It's, like, you're going to have to be involved.

Yeah, I mean, I guess if I can just keep my hands completely clean of this and all that shit. But I'm imagining the sum of money is because I'm putting on, I'm risking something and I'm not trying to get like my head chopped off, my fingers, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like what's, what's the,

how do I cover up something I don't know about? You didn't do that. Yeah. This is, this hypothetical needs a little bit more accountability here. You're covering up a crime. Now, if you asked me to do some white collar shit for a large sum of money sure you ask me to cover up you know mass murders rapes anything with kids

not doing it yeah yeah and but you know it is tough too because it's i i was i watched a film i usually just have the tv on and um this morning on tv was a decent proposal which i've never seen and i was kind of you know just checking in here and there on it and like i was watching like oh yeah that would fuck me up yeah if i if i just i'd be i had a million dollars but i didn't know what my wife did with uh fucking what's his name robert redford i'd be like i don't like i gotta you gotta tell me she's like no we we, we told, we promised we'd never talk about this. Like, well, that was before we did it, and now I gotta know what the hell happened. Now I need to fucking know. Yeah, I mean, that's,

it's all well and good until you really, when it's time to pay the piper, it's a whole different story. I think that shit would be mentally bad. Like, real, real bad. Like, if it was just like, I got you out for, yeah, I don't know. It would have to be a violent crime.

Nonviolent crime, I'm in. I'll do it for free. Whatever. Nonviolent crime, I won't cover up. I'll help you do it. I will get my hands dirty on a nonviolent crime. Once the violence comes in, I think the sum of money has got to be really high. Really high. Really high, because

when it comes time to be like, alright, my life will forever be different after this moment. I will forever be hooked to this thing. You gotta have... Especially for me, someone with an anxiety, with like, you know, I mean, everyone has

anxiety, but I at least say it sometimes. I have anxiety that I'm going to get caught having done things in my past right now. I haven't even done them yet. I don't have anything. And I'm still every day like, oh, boy, is today the day I get canceled for something I didn't 10 years ago? I didn't do anything 10 years ago. So if I actually had something I did, oh, boy.

Yeah, that's way on you, man. But everyone does have a price. You offer me some insane amount of money where I crunch some numbers and I'm like, all right, there's a fucking 1% chance I get caught on this thing or whatever. And I get $100 million. Okay. But I think anything anything anything where the bad guys on the other end are really bad. I'm not doing cartels. I'm not doing

gangs. I'm not doing like the government, like crazy government shit. But if it's like a one-off, it's like I don't know. This one person will be mad at you. This one thing. You know. Then we can negotiate. Yeah. I have enough money to kill that one person who's angry at me.

So that's really the thing. And that's what I'm learning from Ozark in season three. You gotta go all in. You can't be like, ah, I kinda, I can't, I do this,

but I do it for my family. It's like, if you're going to be a criminal, you gotta be a criminal man. Cause you can't play both sides of it. Have you watched, did you watch season three at all? No,

I've been doing high fidelity. I fucking love it. I think it's three at all? No. Like I said, I've been doing High Fidelity. I fucking love it. I think it's awesome. I know it's a knockoff Breaking Bad, but I think it's a high-level knockoff. There's a couple characters and a couple plot points that I think are kind of glaring holes,

but other than that, I think it's highly entertaining. I'm going to start it after High Fidelity, but I'm madly in love right now. So, dude, if you could pick, like, a perfect woman for me, it's this character. It's just, like, she's so, like, cool. She gets the records. She gets the records. She does records, but she's just so cool records records she doesn't she does record but she's just so cool she dresses so cool she's got like they're actually i i wasn't sure i looked them up

they're they are all her real tattoos she's got like cool tattoos dresses cool dresses weird and cool she's just fucking she's wearing just like a dickies t-shirt and a skirt and like uh army boots one day looks awesome kravitz man, man. I mean, I know you're talking about the character too, but Zoe is fucking... I imagine she's just being Zoe Kravitz. Totally herself. I've heard very good things.

We interviewed Jake Lacey about that. I know Bob Fox watched it. I have not heard a bad thing yet about Hide Fidelity. I tweeted about it that I liked it, and someone replied, the nicest tweet I've ever gotten. Someone was like, I could see you dating Zoe

Kravitz's chick. I was like, that's... Well, the question is, could you see her dating him? I think it actually said marrying. I could see you marrying. Yeah, I could. Or, yeah. I could see me fucking. Yeah, I could. Or, yeah. I could see me fucking marrying Emily Matikowski, too.

The problem is, it's one way street. What was it? I forgot what I was just going to say. Oh, yeah, I was talking to someone about it, and they were like, oh, I love Zoe Kravitz's husband. And I was like, she's not married. And I forgot her mom is now married to Jason Momoa. What? So it's Lisa Bonnet.

And Lisa Bonnet was married to Lenny Kravitz, had Zoe. They got divorced. Now she's married to Jason Momoa. Wow. Yeah. When you can tame Lenny Kravitz and then tame Jason Momoa, you're a bad bitch. I don't know what her deal is. I don't know what kind of witchcraft she has, but

it's not to be trifled with. Jason Momoa, he's got a scar on his face from a bar fight. Lenny Kravitz is Lenny Kravitz. Jason Momoa is a madman, too. He was a focal point. I didn't know he was famous in the 90s. Remember that article I talked about?

Or maybe early 2000s. Where it was like talking about how social media killed L.A. nightlife. He was like a big part of that. From what? I don't even know. Yeah. Pictures of him in the article. I just thought he was Khal Drogo and Aquaman. I didn't know he did anything else.

I'm going to Google it real quick. Real quick. Give me two seconds. Yeah. He had like a goofy picture. know he did anything else. I'm going to Google it real quick. Give me two seconds. Baywatch. He had a goofy picture. Basically, he's the male Pam Anderson, Yasmeen Bleeth.

He was in Baywatch the movie or Baywatch the show, Nick? Baywatch the show. Yeah. That's OG shit. What a sexy little piece of meat that man is. Next up, what do we got? Hey, Kevin.

It's the murder comer from about a year ago. I have a question to pose you guys. I don't know if you've done it or not, but my buddy and I were talking, we're all quarantined, I'm at my own place, he's at his. He was real proud of himself

because he got laid recently. And I told him, well, I got laid five times. He said, how is that possible? Because you're alone, don't have a girl. I said, well, I think that 10 jerk-offs equals one sex session. This is the stupidest we've ever heard.

Excuse me? This fellow has a De Niro face going right now. I'm like, excuse me? What are you talking about? On my fucking show's voicemails i mean we have a certain level of expectation here on this program and trying to tell me that if you jerk off 10 times you can go bragging to your buddies that you had sex once guess what i lost my virginity the day i learned how to masturbate guess what i had sex with like 50 000 women get out of here i'm wilt chamberlain if you apply this fucking logic this is the stupidest shit i've

ever heard i mean this is this is crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy like and and and the answer here is like there's no amount of jerk-offs that equate to having sex with a girl, whether you're talking about like, you know, macho notches on your belt or just physical activity or whatever your measurement is here. It's zero. But if it were to be a number, it's much higher than 10. Yeah. But it would have to be like 5,000. If you jerk off 5,000 times, I'll let you add one to your body count. Maybe.

I'm trying to think of like how many cups of water would you say it takes to say you had a beer? It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. Yes, they both hydrate you, but in very different ways. Good for you, John. Nice job. It's like you could just add to your salary somehow. It's like, oh, yeah, no, I make $200,000 a year because I do this sometimes.

No, no. You are what you are. You have sex with who you have sex with. You can't just make up your own little fucking, what's it called, like conversion metric. Get lost. I can't think of how anyone... Sometimes you just meet

people and you're like, I don't understand how your brain functions like that. I just don't understand how it works that you think that jerking off could in any way equate to having sex with another human person. Anyway, last voicemail before we get to our interviews.

What do we got? It's the super producer, BC. I got a would you rather, I guess. So would you rather have Spider-Man superpowers so you can shoot the webs, climb, jump around really fast, all that, but you can't cum ever? that means sex and jerking off or would you rather basically have that life you have now you can come whenever you want which I think is kind of its own superpower but you don't get all the spidey webs and uh and being able to run really fast and jump on buildings. For me, I'm choosing Cummins. Yep. All right, Viva, boys.

I do like the notion that, like, in that Louis C.K. special, he talks about, like, getting up to the gates of heaven and kind of having a face to – or he actually talks about God coming down and talking for a change rather than just letting us humans sit there and wonder what's right and what's wrong. And he gives out all the info about what you should and shouldn't be doing. And I won't spoil it, but there's like a very funny thing that we've all been doing wrong

all the time. And I feel like if God ever came down, he'd be like, do you know how ungrateful you are? Like I made you guys just able to come all the time. Within like 60 seconds, you can just give yourself orgasmic pleasure and you guys just take it for fucking granted. It is kind of a superpower when you think about it. Yeah, it's a superpower. It's not nearly as good as

running and jumping and shooting webs, though. I mean, literally comparing, you're right, but what are you going to do with that? Getting people jealous. That's how I get off is by getting people jealous and making sure that people –

when girls see me slinging around the Empire State Building thinking, God, what a lucky girl gets to go home with him every night. I go, there's no girl because this fucking thing doesn't work. But they don't know that. It's like what's happening in quarantine now. We were talking about it last episode. It's like what's happening in quarantine now. We were talking about last episode. It's like what's happening in quarantine now where the power of the penis is coming back. Yeah.

Yeah. They're realizing that, you know, something that goes in the dishwasher, that doesn't really give you this. Well, guess what? If you can't have it, guess who wants it? And I'm the most desirable man in the world. And I just go home every night and just sit on my couch. That's all I want. I just want to be in and just sit on my couch. That's all I want.

I just want to be wanted. I don't want to be in a relationship where you want me. I just want to be wanted. That's really what I like. I just want to be wanted. Are you keeping up with therapy, John? No, no. No, I can tell.

I can tell. Yeah, that's hard because I was talking to Keith about that where it's just like I'm barely comfortable enough in a room yet. Yeah. I was – and this is probably something to tell my therapist. I was caught once when I was in high school on the phone talking about a party. And my mom was like right outside the door and heard everything. I got grounded and all that stuff. Yeah, you're not going to trust it. I only talk when I know I'm being

recorded. I just assume I'm being recorded all the time. I only talk when I know for a fact I'm being recorded. So I can't do it. I wouldn't be able to do a therapy session. I hear that. But you're a crazy person.

I feel like not coming doesn't mean... mean i feel like if i could be spider-man and take home the prettiest sexiest happiest coolest girl and and and all that shit and just i don't come but i guess we could do some shit yeah i could i could make i could make you have fun for sure i'll make you come and i'll, and I'll be rich and be famous because I'm a superhero. And I just can't toss it out there. If I was like, oh, I got to get something out of my system, I'll go jump out of a fucking building. Right, right.

Don't worry about that. That is kind of my X factor, though. Whenever we do these hypotheticals and it's like, I can't come, I'm assuming that because my body is able to come, when I don't come, I go crazy. If I can't come, I'm assuming that I'm going to stay sane. Yeah. Because it's like I don't even know because I can't come. It doesn't matter. So in that case, if I know I'm not going to go crazy and I can have that poison build up all I want and I can be – I'm going Spider-Man.

Let's get into our interviews. We got a very interesting and fun change of pace for the KFC Radio boys. coal miner, now turned personal trainer, entrepreneur, investor, who is just shredded as fuck and hopped on with us to talk about staying healthy, staying mentally, physically, and everything else in shape during the quarantine. My brother was in the room for the interview, and as soon as he got up, he was like, that was awesome. I'm going to work out now. Right.

Listen, I was motivated, all right? I'm thinking to work out now. Right. Listen, I was motivated. I'm thinking about working out. That's how fucking good this interview was. When you do listen to Corey and you do want to get down with his fitness program, the next step is to make sure that you keep your body nice and smooth and trim and manscape that

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What's on the wall back there? We got the master shit. We got you and your shirt off like an asshole. Yeah, we got Masters flag signed by Tiger. Oh, okay. My favorite Italian pizza spot with one of my homeboys on this side right here. Got Pac and Snoop, America's Most Wanted. You already know that. A couple covers up there, like a dick. If you take a look at just that, you know Corey.

You get it. You can't get rid of it right there. So this has got a whole – it's kind of a wall of inspiration. Even see on this side. Let me go this way. This is a thing my wife made me for my first business 20 years ago. Cool. Things like that. So this is where I thing my wife made me for my first business like 20 years ago like things like that so this is where i do my daily fires at and uh when i'm doing you know some stuff for my

podcast of business and biceps inspires me so how how many you see i feel like you're a good person to have on right now because i think we're like kevin's drinking a beer right now it's hello hey i'm mad at you bro the uh the i we were saying at the start of the episode how we feel like it's getting to the point of quarantine where it's like all right we're in this for the long haul and you got to have kind of a routine and i think i've i've been a cory gregory fan for like i would guess eight years probably something like that when i work out i used to like all my my only twitter favorites were just like when you were tweeting out daily workouts and shit like that. I'd be like, all right, I'll do this tonight.

So I've been on here for a while. I've lost my way. Okay. And I've never found my way. I've been lost the whole fucking time. So we need help, and I would imagine a lot of people need help right now. I mean, in general. It's funny thinking.

I'm thinking about how many people I'm seeing who are like, oh, can't even go to the gym, bro. And I'm like, you've let that subscription, you let that membership go completely unused a thousand months in a row. But now that you can't go, you're freaking out about it. So whether or not it's legit or otherwise, people are probably starting to bug out. So I would imagine this is your time to really shine, right? Oh yeah. Here's what it comes down to is I've been preaching force in the schedule because

look, if you drink a beer on Monday and that's normal, I'm cool with that. But if you're doing that seven days in a row and you're not training and you're not really going to work and you're really not seeing people, it becomes like a depression rabbit hole that people have a hard time getting up out of. And so what I'm trying to do is just be that source of like, yo, I used to go train at four in the morning. That's my norm. I can't go to a gym. I opened 20 years ago. Like I've been there five days a week since I was 20 years old. I'm 41. This is me. You look 41. Yeah, I'm 41. No, you look like 26. Let's fucking get it, boy. You do not look 41. Hey, I got a freshman in high school, man. I got three kids.

You look like you could be a freshman in high school. Man, I appreciate that. So this morning, man, the first week that I was quarantined, even from my video guys, even from the people I work with in my businesses, like I ain't seeing nobody. So I'm cutting up my own videos. I'm doing my own shit. And, um, my first week I was like, I have cake. Listen, I have Guinness on tap and I got blue moon on tap in my basement.

Right. Straight up. So I like to drink a fucking pint or five too. And so, but on a Monday I'm like, that's not my norm. And I was like, Tuesday, drinking a beer, getting up at seven, thinking, well, what the fuck day is it again? And then the next week I was like, all right, all right, you got to get the shit together, force the schedule Monday through Friday again, do something different. You can't go to the gym. And I have like an outdoor workout area. So if I'm going to work out, at least I'm going to do

it somewhere where I want to, that's like my second favorite place, but I can't do it till the lights out, you know, till it's till the sun comes up. Well, shit, I got the fucking shop light out today. I was up in this motherfucker at 4 a.m. with the fucking shop light here in the coyotes. How trying to get my shit back together. Why? Why are you going to do it for him? Yeah. That's extreme.

That's it. You're doing that on purpose. I'm an extreme motherfucker though. But see, I always say like this, because it was a necessity because I run multiple businesses and I'm a dad, like no one's fucking bugging me from four to six in the morning. So that, that can be someone else's seven to nine. It just happens to be my four to six. And I got a crew of about 20 people that normally train from four to six. The 4am crew, it's a bunch of fucking savages that come in. It weeds out all the idiots. Because if you ain't about your fucking business, you ain't fucking with me.

Straight up. Nobody's coming in at four being like, maybe this is for me. Let me figure it out. Let me just, let me dip my toe in the 4am water. I'm fucking ready for it boy so what i try to do is look this is my job i've done this my whole life and i know i'm gonna be extreme fucking crazy motherfucker but if you can draw just a little bit of my you know kind of push i still got going on to try to keep some type of normalcy because we're gonna be in this for a

minute y'all i think we all know it right and yeah you can have some 20 pound dumbbells and fucking for two, three days, you might get it together, but you know, you need somebody that actually knows what the fuck they're doing to keep it fun, different and keep it changed up. So I think that my skillset has been lending,

you know, in a heavy way right now. Did the, I was looking at your skillset at the, at the, it almost feels like looking at you put together a workout is what I imagined. Looking at watching Taylor Swift put together a workout is what i imagine looking watching taylor swift put together an album i like i mean she is a boss

and it's like i was like just watch i was like looking at it this morning you texted me and you're like oh we still on and i as you were texting i was looking at the website and i was gonna do chess today and i was like who does he like i can't do this man i can And I was like, who does he like? I can't do this, man. I can't. It was like, you had like AMRAPs for like 15 minutes. They were, uh, what? Five, uh, five second, like declines. It seemed impossible to do. Yeah. You know what I tried to do is I look at, you know, the basic shit. Like I could still go to my gym, you know what I mean? Cause I own it so I can still go, but I forced myself to be in the area that everyone else is in. So everybody's looking at these dumbbells and they know how to do the basics, but it all comes down

to angles, tempos, differences, and changing just these little basics and know how to flip the script every day. So people are like, straight up, I'm getting people better results right now than they were getting in the gym. They just didn't fuck with me yet. Now they got no choice because they're stuck in their fucking house and they're like, I remember, I remember eight years ago, my workouts were awesome. I'm gonna fuck with this guy again. And honestly, this is why big cat started fucking with me because he, you know, he tweeted out, yo, I want a diet where I can eat ice cream. And all my members started tagging big cat. And he saw that you followed me and he was like, all right, well, some of the ogs are already fucking with this guy so he hit me up and i've helped him lose about 40 pounds which is pretty awesome he looks great yeah i was texting him right before

to make sure he got his shit done before i jumped on yeah i feel like it's it's like once you say that you're publicly down with cory he's not going to let you fucking fall off. So I'm almost nervous to even try. Cause it's like, once I want to fall off, I want to fucking fall off. All right. The accountability is what, and right now, because you're not interacting, right. That's so tricky. Like even accountability for me, I would go and I'm getting, I got a bunch of young dudes that we train with. They kick my ass all the fucking time. I'm one of the older cats and like not having that push. Yeah. I still got that locker room. I still got practice in the morning. I still got competition. I still got that high school college vibe to me. So it keeps me alive. Boy, I get up at fucking four. I'm ready to fucking go get it. And you

know, not having that's weird for me. It's been 20 years literally. And so you got to find a way to replace that, but forcing the schedule and not going down the rabbit hole that makes you feel shittier about what already is a shitty situation, I think is important right now. Listen, we do a lot of this on my podcast, Business and Biceps. We're always trying to push that. It's straight down the middle and it's legit, but there's some work involved, but it'll make you feel better for sure the locker room thing you mentioned is true because like i haven't been in the locker room in like probably 15 years and i thought it didn't really matter i thought who cares and then we recently had the barstool pond hiking tournament where it was like it was just fucking around we're just having fun but it was still just that little

little out competition and i was like oh shit this is like i missed this this is fun like competing with somebody you guys but arguably you guys have a locker room at the corporate office I've been there once our whole existence is a lot your vibe is yeah and I came there that one time I met you guys when I was with Dan and you guys 100% got that and a lot of people every guy I ever talked to that played in any league is always said it's not they're old and they're done they're like but I miss the guys I miss the girls I miss the locker room so y'all still have that in business, which is it doesn't happen very

often anymore, especially the vibe y'all got. I got a question for you. You are very publicly and proudly, as you should be, drug-free. I see the trolls will kind of accuse you of it here and there. Why?

What are you, a fucking moron do you know how cool you're not fun at it yeah no so listen steroid free right so in my industry here's the problem right um you know all the guys i looked up to you know you find out um stallone took steroids you know and in 70s is kind of a little different ball game because it really wasn't even arnold and all those guys back then but you start to, you start to grow up and I've worked with a lot of these guys over time and you see people that, you know, are taking drugs, but then there's a 17 or 18 year old kid that's following them and thinking I can get that result. I just never wanted to be, that's just a personal preference. I have lots of friends

that are in the industry that I know take drugs and they're honest about it if you tell a motherfucker this is the workout i do this is how old i am this is how i eat and i take this i'm cool it's the motherfuckers that come at me my program works better i'm stronger bigger than this guy but they're not telling you the fucking sneaky thing on the side that's like the dirty secret well i've just chose for these 20 years it's the long game. I build a body I'm proud of. I'm not that big of a dude. I weigh 185, but I can fucking hold my own.

And on strength and on the look, I believe from a symmetry standpoint, and I've always been kind of holding this drug-free torch to let motherfuckers know they can attain it. So where do we fall on HGH? Is this really a – can I do HGH? I mean, well here, here's the thing you could, because you're not competing again, a drug for, it's the guys that are competing in saying that they're not, or they're putting programs out and saying you can get these types of results when really you can't because of GH or testosterone.

Once again, there's guys in the industry that are just honest about it. I got no problem. I have friends I've learned so much off of that have taken drugs. And that's safe. Or you're, or you're just like, I don't, I never fuck with it. I don't know.

That's, that's the thing. No, but, but I mean like, I know like an anabolic fucking steroid needle in your ass has some, some very bad consequences. Are there,

are there things that are going to like, that could, I'm not going to compete. I don't care, but I just want to get in shape. Kevin really wants to take HGH. I really want to take HGH. Listen,

there's, there's, I'm not, I'm not, I mean, I'm, I'm the furthest thing from trying to compete. I've had six surgeries.

I've been out of shape for fucking 20 years now. All I want to do is just like, not be a bag of milk, a bag of mashed potatoes. And I just want to like not hurt. I'm also lazy. I'm also not like I don't have the same. I don't get off on it.

I'm not like, oh, like that workout felt so good. That pump was awesome. Yeah, that's just not my style. So if you told me that I could just do an HGH or this or that, and And it's like, gonna, gonna like jumpstart my shit, but I'm also not going to be like killing my organs or something like that. I would probably do it. I think that that's where the anti-age, they call it anti-aging. That's when you go to those kind of doctors and they give you small doses and they monitor it.

That's a whole different ball game from like kind of my industry, I guess, peers that I'm essentially in business up against. Right. Like we're all fucking battling against each other for business out here and for my methodology over their methodology. And it's hard to prove it. Um, that's why I've been so upfront about not taking drugs. I want guys to know like, man, I could fucking look like this dude or be as strong as this guy. If I just put the work in because there's, I've come up with hacks that definitely, you know, make the process better, but all in all, I'm just, I could fucking look like this dude or be as strong as this guy if I just put the work in. Because I've come up with hacks that definitely make the process better. But all in all, I'm a former coal miner, bro. I'm a fucking grinder. I've always been. I saw that's in your Twitter bio, obviously.

Yeah. 7th generation? Yeah, 4th generation. 4th generation. So my great-grandfather, which I got tatted on my arm, he died in 1936 in a coal mine explosion. His dad is the one that taught me how to lift weights. He's 92 years old now. My father was a coal miner.

All my uncles. I only had to work six months underground. So I worked 600 feet underground when I was 19 going on 20, saved 20 grand and moved to Columbus to start my gym. So it was a humbling experience. But I'm so glad I went through it because I knew it was going to be an intangible difference for me. Like motherfuckers, I'm the real motherfucking Zublander boy. I got the black lung. Do you catch any heat for being like the pretty boy in the gym and then the coal miners back home, make it funnier? Yeah. Oh yeah. So

here, you'll love this. So first day at the coal mine, right? First off, I had two earrings back then. This is like 97, 98, right? So I get on the elevator and it's like, it's 600 feet down. So I'll get on the elevator and I hear this, boy, what you got in your ears? And what do you want to be when you fucking grow up? And I'm like, oh, fuck. And I go, what? Sir, I want to be a personal trainer. He goes, oh, you want to be like you fucking grow up and i'm like oh fuck and i go what sir i want to be a personal

trainer he goes oh you want to be like fucking richard simmons so that's what the coal miners thought i was aspiring to do but i would imagine i would imagine coal miners don't respect anything other than coal mining like everything other than that is pussy you know i mean i want to go fight wars well whatever you're not coal mining i'll tell you that is pussy. I want to go fight wars. Well, whatever. You're not coal mining, pussy. I'll tell you what, it's a mentality that I'm so glad I got to experience. And it was in my blood. And I could have easily, not easily, but I could have saw myself doing it a lifetime because it was so in the culture of how I grew up. But they wanted me to leave. They knew I had aspirations and they're always cheering me,

man, because I'm always showing love because of where I came from. And I respect that job. I worked it. And if I ever had to do it again, I know I could, but it was, it was a great experience, man. How many, how many businesses have you started now? I think you said you started by saying 20. Yeah. So I started my personal training business when I was 20 years old. So I opened up my personal training studio for 5,000 bucks in 1750 that went to rent for three months. People was bringing me equipment. It was a 900 square foot little personal training studio before I celebrated my 21st birthday being a business owner for 5G. And I've built my businesses. So I did that for 10 years. See, a lot of people

see kind of what I got going on now, but for 10 years, I grinded a personal training business. Then in 2008, I was the co-founder of MusclePharm. And MusclePharm was a supplement company that exploded. And we were main sponsor in the UFC. I sponsored Tiger Woods. I worked with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I mean, the list goes on and on. And we was the Nike of the supplement industry. And about 2015, it just got so big. And I'm kind of like an OG kind of grimy dude. Like it just meetings about meetings. That's not really me. I was just like an OG kind of grimy dude. Like it just meetings about meetings. That's not really me. I was just like, not really fond of the people I was working with no more from like a value standpoint. I was like, man, fuck it. I'm out. You know, I sold my part and I

wanted to start, uh, I started my website. We started a podcast, uh, John Fosco and I started max effort muscle, which is a new supplement business to start Corey G fitness. We started business and biceps old school gym was still rocking. I got a CBD company, CBD Social with two other guys, John Fosco down in Charleston, South Carolina. So I'm just a serial entrepreneur that's proud of this business. So I'm all over the place. I was very surprised because I think it was shortly after, I think it was on Tiger's bag and stuff, but you're basically just Tom Brady. You're like, I've like, I was very surprised because I think it was shortly after, like, I think it was on Tiger's bag and stuff, but you're, you're basically just Tom Brady. You're like, I've proved everything I have here. I'm going, I'm going to go take this upstart franchise and start a new one. I just, you know, I got, what was cool is, so John Fosco, who I work with, he did all of the marketing inside the UFC for us. So we were spending shit, a million a year in the cage.

Plus I had all the major athletes and he was running all that with me. So once we both sold our percentages, we were both kind of like free agents. And we're like, shit, let's get on. Let's start business in biceps. Let's start max effort muscle. I already own the gym with my high school friend, Dustin Myers. And yeah, we just keep on rolling with these. And then CBD had a great opportunity.

We started a retail front down there. And the website's my bread and butter, man. Corgi Fitness. I get to interact with so many people and help them get results. I give a Rolex away once a year for like a transformation. Like I just do, honestly, I'm a fucking brat at this point. If I'm not into it, I'll work my ass off. But if I'm not having fun, I'm fucking out, boy.

Like I just am. And that's what the entrepreneur kind of life is. but it's a fucking 20 year game. Plus, let me ask you a question. We do all, we do our answer the internet hypotheticals all the time. Sure. Everybody's got a number. Yep. What would, what would be your number for you to just be an out of shape bag of shit? Could I still golf? They're playing a fat guys who got, yeah, you're not going to be,

you're not going to be chiseled. You ain't on the cover. You're fucking, uh, man, you could probably, I mean, I'm sure people want their personal trainer to look like a certain, you can probably still teach them,

but you don't have the look anymore. You don't have the body anymore. What's the number? Damn. That's a great question. I haven't, this is going to sound- And you could make all your entrepreneurial dreams come true. You could be doing all the business that you want, but you're fat. It probably had to be a hundred mil. Listen, there's something about having abs, boy. I don't know. It's worth a lot of money. I ain't starving, so shit. No, it really is, though.

I mean, I think – We just have to worry. We just have to worry how much money would it cost to be me. Me? I'm being real. Hey, I'm being real. That's probably right. If I said, dude, you got to trade places with me.

Here's $75 million. He's like, nah, $25 me. Here's 75 million. And he was like, nah, 25 more. But it is invaluable. I've thought all the time when I see someone who's just shredded, I'm just like, and for you, it's, you know, like you said, you've been doing this for 20 years and probably before that, you always made sure you were in shape. So, you know, maintaining being in shape is so much easier than getting in shape. Right. So like you're, you're, you're there and you're never going to let it go. And I'm just so fucking jealous of that where it's just like, wait a minute, you look and feel like that all the time.

Well, I let it go once I weighed, so I weighed two 40. Wow. Yeah. And I, so I walk around a pretty lean, like between 180 and 190. How tall are you? 5'11". Okay. And so I weighed 240 in like 2010. And that's when I was heavy building the business. Social media really wasn't super popping yet. And I was just so fucking stressed out because that business was growing. I was just eating and I thought, I'm a power lifter right now. I'm just going to eat. And so check this out, right? So not only am I getting like fucking tricep cramps when I'm a power lifter right now. Like I'm just going to eat. And so check this out. Right. So not only am I getting like fucking tricep cramps, so I'm trying to get it in. I'm also fucking like my wife says to me,

right. She's like this. She's like, I think, does that cellulite on your abs? I'm not really sure. Like I'm being supportive, but I'm not sure if I signed up for that.

I'll motivate you real quick. She listens. She's been awesome. But if I would say that shit to her, I'd get you real quick. Listen, she's been awesome. But if I would say that shit to her, I'd get fucking kicked out. You're done. But I was checked though. And I was like, you know what? I was like, it's time for me to get my shit together. And probably since then, I've made it up to, I did a powerlifting meet at like 212 most recently, maybe like a year and a half ago.

I've been staying under 190s about then. Just because at the end of the day, you're your best billboard. I mean, you know, from a business standpoint and health as well. See, that's the thing, like right now, especially, right. That's why I try to talk about, if you're not taking care of yourself, the way we fight this shit is our immune system. Like, you know, and you're not even guaranteed. Cause there it's not even like picking a certain thing at this point, there's people that are having problems. So you've got to have your shit together. So look, listen, I'm telling you, I drink beer every Friday and Saturday. I fucking eat wings.

I eat tacos. I try to have a lifestyle, right? But take care of yourself because that's how you fight this shit. That is how you fight it. That's it. That's all very true. But I'm still dealing with the sobering moment where you said, I got cramps having sex.

That's what sex is? Yeah. It cramps up. You get really out of breath and then it feels good for a second. I just, I don't know, high rep triceps and a lot leaner physique. It pays off bigger. The, the, I have a question and this is going to sound weird. Do you, are you ever embarrassed to take your shirt off?

Like, are you just like, I'm too much. Like some of the other dads are over. Maybe I'll throw a shirt on so they don't feel so bad about it. So two things. One, I had a little TikTok move for a second and my kids were not fucking feeling that at all. Because look, I had, listen, my second or third video I ever did went viral, like 700,000 views and I'm dancing in my fucking kitchen and it's on all of their friends for you pages. All of them, right? Especially the's like dad i'm like look man i'm sorry like i didn't you know what i'm saying the second one i went to a water park with my family one time and i remember specifically i was one week out of a bodybuilding show and i was fucking

peeled and i got mean mugged by every fucking dad that's sitting there that has a barbed wire arm tattoo and that's fucking drinking beer and has a – and was so fucking mad. I just – I wore a long-sleeved t-shirt in the fucking pool. I was getting like death threats, bro. And I wasn't even – I'm not even trying to be a dick. I was literally a week out. So, I mean, look. First world problems, whatever.

There are times I think I see a guy with his shirt off and I feel bad for him because I'm i'm like my initial reaction is you fucking fuck this guy so uh i just read an article yesterday or not an article but a quote from it zach efron said um when he was doing baywatch he was like i never ever want to be that like i think the word they were using was buff it's like i never want to be buff like that again and i think he just said like the the schedule the, you know, just the, like it consumes your life. And I mean, he was a freak of fucking nature in that one. He was super fucking mean. I think under like 7%-ish, like those guys, Zach was like between like 5% and 7%. That's tricky.

You got to be really, like, I just try to stay, I don't really test it. But if I can just see my abs and I'm under 10% and I can still live life to me, it's about a lifestyle at this point. I compete here and there, but at the end of the day, it's like, how can I still be a dad who drinks beer? That's where I get a lot of mean mugs too. When I'm around people that don't really know me, they're over the house for like the pool party or some shit, which obviously we can't do right now, and i'm fucking getting it seven tacos bong and beers and they're like oh fuck well yes so listen i feel like what's in vogue right now from rob mcculaney cummila nanjiani all these guys who got shredded for their movie roles yep they're being very honest but i think

the pendulum swung the other way where they're like, the only way you can do this is be rich, have a trainer, have a chef, a nutritionist. And it makes people, I was like, wow, fuck it. I can't even do that. And I know you're probably talking about, like you said, 2% body fat or whatever, but it's almost dangerous because it makes you go like, well, I can't possibly do that. And it's like, that's not true either. Well, I went down to one 65 one time and I could see like my side of my glutes coming in. I was that lean and it just, yeah. I mean, you're like a fucking space cadet. It's just not worth it. I mean, at the end of the day, like you can find what I call your float weight. It's like you're

fighting weight. Right. So like when I'm like one like 180 to 190, if I'm floating closer to 80, then I'm going to be hurting motherfuckers feelings. If I'm closer to 90, all right. So I think you got to find out what's your, and once again, it's a little bit of discipline. You have like about a 10 pound float. You kind of know how to operate. And that's really what I teach, man, is just this lifestyle. And I can make people look better than they do now, not be as bored in the gym and enjoy themselves. Most guys can be like, all right, if I can make it to the weekend, I know I get to eat wings and drink beer. I'm good. Most dudes can do that most of the time.

This is a little different scenario, but I kind of brainwash them to get to that point. Yeah, of course. Because at the end of the day, they just need to know that there's something there. Most guys that are, especially ex-athletes or whatever, they can be disciplined enough to get to there. Because at the end of the day, if I can trick you into eating good 85% of the time, we're going to win. You know? It really is. You just said trick and you just said brainwash.

Yeah. It's kind of true. I mean, that's what has to happen. Yeah. I mean, it's like a negative connotation. But you got to like, I feel like I need to be like deprogrammed. It's like Jason Bourne.

You got to like force me and break me down and build me back up to think that this shit is fun. Cause I fucking hate it. Well, here, you know what's so crazy, Kevin, is when it becomes fun when you know you got a handle on it. See, it's just like any other education. People do this as a hobby, right? This ain't my fucking hobby.

This is what I do. This is, I eat it. I breathe it. breathe it i fucking read it i like this is me i couldn't fucking if i this was 1970 i just be a poor fucking dude in venice like you know on the side of the street like i just do this this is it's on you know unapologetic so i think what once people understand all right this is the the right carbs i can eat. I can eat sweet potatoes over rice. You're like your own science project. Once you know it, you always know it. I can't ever unknow what I know I should be eating. I just don't think people ever go down the rabbit hole enough to actually figure it out. But I'd challenge them once you do figure it out,

which is what honestly what Dan's doing right now, what Big Cat's doing, he knows. He knows. That's how he lost 40. That's how he's been able to maintain it for the most part. And he knows even when he falls off, it's not as bad. And so it's like, once you understand that strategy, I always just say, motherfucker strategies just fucked up. I think your strategy just ain't good, but we can fix that. What's that first step there?

Like, I think it's everything you just said is like, to me, that's like, I almost would need you to like study me and watch me and learn. And then so like, but if I'm not, you know, if you're not monitoring me 24 seven, what's the first so learning? So like for me, the way that my business works is I'll go and people will come into kind of my process. Like I had Fidelberg on the website and I'll hook you up to on the app. It's like they'll come through and they'll they'll watch. I teach it like boardroom style or like a white board style. I'll teach all the way that I do the diets, all that kind of stuff. Right. That's all kind of IP for my business. And then I'll say, yo, just write down what you do for three days. Just because a lot of people think, oh, well, here's my favorite part.

Oh, I eat. Okay. I would lie to you. I'm still like, yeah, I have oatmeal for breakfast. Well, just what it is is there's a little interactive blog. I'm answering questions, but people go on there and say, look, I ate this for the last two, three days. I got this result. But it's really not that difficult to kind of decode. You just got to want to do it. But that's the thing is you have to want to do it. You know, people are always like the discipline. Like I'm, I'm not, you're not taking my fucking pizza away from me. You're not fucking, they think, well, what reality is when you put a little bit, just a little bit of discipline, it actually opens up a lot more freedom.

You're just holding on to the wrong thing. And that's, that's, I think there's a big disconnect between like, I don't, I don't want to do it. I want the results. I want, I want it to be done, but I don't want to do it. And that's the big problem. No, no, no. And that's, and that's where that mentality has to shift. Right.

And that's why, like, look right now is the easiest for like, man, fuck this dude. He's out here talking all this discipline. I'm fucking, you know, there's no sports and I'm drinking and watching these guys to laugh. I get all that. You just take a little bit of what I'm talking about to just know that it'll ease this whole process. So when you come out of it, you're not fucking,

you know, they're talking about the quarantine 15, 20 people like there's so much, look, this is real. The jobs right now are going to be scarce. You got to be about your business so when you're you're competing when you come out of this that's the way i look at it that you're

fucking ready to go like provide if that's you right now and that's a lot of people it's it's you know like like i'm thankful i still have a gig straight up like i remember my i lived in a trailer growing up bro my mom was waiting tables this This shit happened to me. Like when I was 12, I'd be fucking hungry, bro. Straight up. Like I remember that. I remember when my dad was on strike in the 80s in the coal mine. They laid him off. We didn't have no money.

Like that shit. Like I still remember that. So the competition of that's real. So like get your shit together. So when you come up out of this, you're fucking ready to go kill it and provide. I'm telling you that that shit is more real than ever right now. I'm coming out. I'm coming out.

I'm thinking about it. He's like, I got this. All right. So tell the people if they're interested, what's the best way to get involved, to find you, uh, and get, get in, get in with the program. Yeah, man. Uh, just all platforms is at Corey G fitness, no E just C O R Y G fitness, and then podcasts is at business and biceps. So just check me out. If you have any questions, I answer all my DMS. I'd love to help. And I really appreciate you guys having me on. And by the way, I think Corey G is, is, uh, 3% of your success is being like he's cory g the

fitness guy you know yeah it definitely it definitely helps i mean even my back in the day like even my varsity code had a g on it just something that kind of stuck with me for a long time so cory g we appreciate it dude thanks so much thank you have a good day all right later guys all right uh you know he's still fucking dancing around the HGH. Where do I get it? How do I do it? Is it going to work? That's what I want to know. But really awesome stuff from a cool dude who I really –

I said it in the interview, but I really do get so jealous when I see people who are in shape, and it's just like, you're just there. You just – yeah, you got to worry about maintaining it, but that's really it. You just got it like that. That's so fucking – I actually – I think the maintaining is almost harder.

I've been in good shape before, and then once you get there, you're like, I did it. And then you stop. And then you lose it. I got it. This is what I want to look like. I'm here. Sometimes I wonder what would it take for me to really commit. if you told me

like you know if your body mass index reaches this percentage you're you know i'll shoot you in the head i'd be like all right i have to work out every day i think anything short of that i'd be like i don't know i'm not sure but maybe maybe i'll get down with cory I got to talk to Corey and be like, I will be your biggest conquest. Go on, Dan Feidelberg. If you can get me in shape, you can do anything, sir. So let's talk to our boy Joe Coy now, always a great guest of ours who dialed in last week from his quarantine. We talked a little comedy. We talked a little coronavirus and quarantine.

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We thank you for Skyping in. I know it's not the best of circumstances, but we got to make do, like you said. So thanks a lot for joining us. Of course. Come on. Have to do this. How's it going?

Before we get into it, you're a little blurry, so I can't tell what kind of hat. Is that a fucking Buccaneers hat? Bro, this is the greatest hat of all time. Check this out. I played El Paso, Texas, and their team mascot is the Chihuahuas. Are you kidding me?

Chihuahuas. Okay. It did look like Buccaneers for a second. You're right, Fights. I thought I was sticking it to you. I would have loved it. That's what I thought, too. We're going to have problems.

How can you not love this hat? Look at the mascot. Look at the mascot. Oh, too. We're going to have problems. How can you not love this hat? Look at the mascot. Look at the mascot. Oh, wow. That is awesome. Come on. It ain't real. Bro, I went to Lids, and I found this hat.

And I go, how many do you have? They go, we got 12. I go, give me all 12. No way. Yeah. I got all 12. I'm never running out. This is the greatest team of all.

The Chihuahuas? When I was younger, I was a big UNLV guy. I loved the Roman Rebels. Yes. That's the sick one. The best. That was the best mascot too. Yeah.

I had a bunch of running Rebels stuff. I didn't even know what UNLV stood for. I just wanted to make the running Rebels the mascot. Are you ready for some history? Yeah, always. All right, so I went to school during that time, and so did my cousin. She was a cheerleader on that team. And then her husband was the shark, the mascot.

No. So he was going around as the shark. Yeah, man. I'm a Rebel. Rebel for life. The St. Joe's Hawk. I went for life. The St. Joe's Hawk. I went to Fordham. St. Joe's was in the A-10.

The St. Joe's Hawk has to always keep his arms moving all time. The whole game he goes like this. You get a free ride, I think, if you're a – That's hilarious. Such a terrible job. You got to do the slowest jumping jacks just to get a scholarship. I mean, the whole game, he would just sit there. He never stopped.

It was pretty impressive. The beginning of that gig was like, oh, I can do this all day. And then all day came around. I was like, man, what the fuck am I doing? I don't want to be a bird anymore. I'm supposed to be a lawyer. It's crazy the people, the stuff people do to go to college.

Right. Be free with a free scholarship or just like, oh yeah, I work two jobs. I work at Starbucks in the morning. I work at a bar at night. Just don't go. It's not worth it. It's not worth it. I'm blowing the Dean.

Like, bro, just stop. You don't have to do that. You don't have to do that. It's just books. It's the most overrated fucking place in the world. Don't do it. If someone told you, I'll give you two jumping jacks all day. Yeah.

And I'll give you, like, you'd have to pay 50 grand, but realistically, realistically, it's worth $12,000 maybe. Yeah, maybe. I'll fucking pass, man. I'm not taking that. I'll just stay stupid. Thank you. Yeah, and also you get homework. Suck a dick.

Well, listen, yesterday we were talking about this whole quarantine process, and we all agreed that it's a lot easier to quarantine when you're fucking rich like you. So you're probably hanging out in your mansion. You got your grandma cooking. You got 12 Chihuahua hats. You get whatever the fuck you want in your beautiful life. Whereas, you know, the rest of us, see, look at this. I'm stuck.

See, that TV on the wall is broken. So I just had to get a second TV. I'm just living poor over here. So your quarantine is a little bit different than our quarantine, Joe. Yeah. I mean, it is.

I'm not trying to, I don't want to add salt to the wound, but yes, they are staying in the guest house. I'm sorry. Okay. It's a two bedroom guest house. It's fully loaded,

stocked, fridged near the pool, which is down the hill. That's a pain. He ass to walk to that. But other than that, I mean, yeah, there she's waving from the other house. You motherfucker. I'm hungry. I'm hungry.

Yeah, she just asked me what I wanted to eat via hand signals. No, but it's wild, huh? I mean, we've been yelling at people and preaching at people for the past two, three weeks to stay inside. So I hope that the Jokoi clan is sitting at home. This is day number 18. We've all been in the same spot. Awesome. Good to hear. Yeah. Come on all been in the same spot. Awesome. Good to hear.

Come on, man. Do your part. Jesus Christ. It's not like we're making this up. It's one thing to have the whole world make this up. China never stops working for anything, and they stop. Right. So if they can stop, you can stop.

That's a great point. 1.4 billion people in China stop working. We're merely 350 million. Are you fucking kidding me? And you can't stop yourself from going to Miami to jump in the beach, you fucking assholes? We were talking about they just canceled the Chinese Basketball League. So a lot of, you know, big cat, a lot of guys here got really upset thinking, well, if China's canceling, we're not playing anytime soon. And he made the point, in China, they could force them to play if they wanted to.

Yeah. So if they're calling it a day – Exactly. Over here. Good point. I didn't even think of that. Yeah. If they wanted to, they could be like, listen, get on the hardwood. We don't even think of that. So true.

If they wanted to, they could be like, listen, get on the hardwood. We don't care. We need to be entertaining. And they're like, fuck it. China could literally do this. You get Corona, bonus for everyone. But they're not doing it at this time. They might just start a whole new league, right? It's like you got the regular league constant mj flu games every week yeah you see what fucking job what's his name who's the shooter from from uh from byu you see what you're for that did last night

motherfuckers got covid 19 He's still dropping 35-footers. Yeah, I mean, it's not great, but, you know, got to do what you got to do. How are you feeling as a comedian? I know – It hurt, man. Yeah. I really feel like along with the bar and service industry, you guys have been hit the hardest. Yeah.

I'm not exactly going to go cry a river for you but you were really you're hitting your stride you're selling out fucking arenas i mean you were doing the damn thing joe so i feel like that's gotta hurt when you put a halt to the momentum yeah we we had some big ones coming up too we had portland and idaho those were all arenas and then of course radio city music hall in new New York. Oh. Yeah, man. But you know what? We didn't cancel. So that's a beautiful thing.

We just had to move it into the fall. But most importantly, man, it's all a health issue, man. Like, I want everyone to be healthy. I would kill myself if I found out someone got it at one of my shows and then eventually died from it. So that's not even worth it. We were talking about it the other day. You can also just fucking... Look, health is important, number one.

It's like cliche where everything is secondary, but at the same time the secondary thing fucking sucks. It sucks I had to move my show. You're allowed to say that too, or you should be allowed to say that. I want people to stay healthy, but also this fucking sucks. Yeah.

Sucks. Bad. It took me 30 years to get here. Yeah. And I'll also say that, like you said, you should, it should be out of the goodness of your heart that you want to save other people. But if it's, if it's out of fear of being the asshole, if they, if it was in the news saying Joe Coy's show is why we spread it to 10 000 more

people yeah that could be a reason too so whatever your motivation is it could be selfish it could be it could be unselfish but just make sure you do it i don't care why you do it yeah exactly man i would you know i was making a point oh god now i forgot it i'll remember to say it in a second man it's right on the top of my head but it it just has something to do with how people are reacting about the public. God, I don't even know how to say it in words right now, man. I'm sorry. But it's just, you know, when you're in the situation now where it's a lot of people that are hanging out. And like yesterday, I saw a video of people getting broken up for a birthday having a birthday right and and my whole thing is they were recording uh the cops breaking up

the party i'm like okay you're you're completely like desensitizing like when you see people recording cops doing bad things i i tend to go on the side of the person that's recording i'm like oh that's fucked up on the cops part but this situation now made me think like well now people are just using that right that little defense mechanism and he totally desensitized it because you're an asshole the cop the cop is there because the world doesn't want you to be hanging out and spreading this disease, and now you're fucking recording it and using it as if the cops are, oh, this is I can't believe the cops are, this is brutality. It's like, no, you're an

asshole. In fact, they're not using enough force. Yeah, they should be. If there's one time police brutality should be the green light, it's fucking now. Today. Today. Get the shit out of all of them. Fuck them. Look what India's doing.

India's taking fucking baseball bats to people. You know what I mean? Let's do that in America. I'm so sick of these people grabbing their phones and recording like, oh, look what's happening. I'm so innocent. I just wanted to go to a birthday. Motherfucker, everyone wants to go to a birthday. We all want to go.

I know Kevin doesn't watch, but I watch Westworld. I don't know if you watch it. And there was a line in the episode the other day where one of the robots is, you know, he comes back to the place he's not supposed not supposed to be and the other robot says to him he goes and here you are in the one place in the world you're not supposed to be makes me wonder if free will is overrated and i was like tell him yeah tell him like that's fucking spot on 100 man it just it just makes me mad but now but here's the thing about Corona, right? It's bad what's happening, but, man, there's a lot of good that's happening.

Just like you said, that situation, God, I don't want to get in trouble for saying what I want to say, but that situation is a perfect example of how when people record shit, you don't have to believe it all the time. There's another story. There's another story. Right. Every story, man. Yeah. And it's just like when they started recording, it was 10 minutes before that you didn't see her.

You never saw. Yeah. Yeah. But now I think this opened a lot of people's eyes. You know what I mean? Like I think that situation last night, you know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah. I actually didn't see it, but I-

Oh my God. So it was like somewhere in LA and it's just, they literally had a birthday party with like a hundred people and the neighbors called the cops. The cops came and broke it up and they were throwing like a riot.

Like it was police brutality. Like they're holding their phones up and just like, yo, you can't do this. It's like, yeah, they can. I'm looking at it right now and on top of it, it was a one-year-old birthday party. Yeah. He even

fucking knows. Yeah. Never going to remember this. The day the one-year-old spreaded the virus. Fuck your one-year-old. Whether we're in a pandemic or not, fuck your one-year-old spreaded the virus. Fuck your one-year-old. Whether we're in a pandemic or not, fuck your one-year-old. Yeah, fuck your one-year-old. I'll fuck the three.

Three of them at my birthday party. One, go fuck yourself. Yeah, I'm looking at this now, and it seems like there's a line of cops, and they're just trying – I mean, the block is just so crowded, by the way. Everybody's probably getting sick. It's crazy. And they're holding up their phones, recording the cops. The cops are moving them.

They're like, don't touch me. It's like, are you fucking kidding me right now? Are you really? Is that your mentality right now? Go the fuck home. What have you been up to at home? Yo, to be honest, I've been getting a lot done, man. Dude, me too. I just set up

a record player. Very exciting stuff. What? A record player? Look at Miles Brocker right here. It literally took me all day. It was so hard to set up. Bam. Wow. You got a record?

Yeah. I have Miles Davis and the Greatest Showman. That's got all of my dads, too. Wow. You got Neil Diamond over there? Yeah. Oh, I've been pilling to fucking Miles Davis all day, just fucking playing that whatever he plays. I don't know.

Saxophone, horn. A brass instrument. You know what's crazy? For a minute there, I thought you were a real jazz fan. And then you were like, with his horn. I actually like jazz. Sax the horn. I love the sax the horn.

I like jazz like a kid likes sports. Where I'm like, yeah, this is good. I can't tell you the history of it. I like what I'm seeing right now. This is good stuff. So we mentioned the arenas before. I was listening to Segura and Dirk Kreischer's podcast, Two Bears, One Cave,

and they were kind of running through the small list of people who are on that arena level. And they mentioned you along with, you know, I mean, the company that you're in right now is a very small, exclusive, and impressive list. Oh, thank you, man. I mean, you got to feel like you finally – I feel like every time you come on the show, we've kind of had this discussion.

But I feel like you probably have to have a feeling of like you did it you finally did it right like you're easy dude i mean the next thing would be like maybe outdoor stadiums but reasonably speaking you you're right man thank you dude that i'm telling you when i did the forum that was that was a magical night man i put my whole family on stage there was like 20 of my family members on stage. I brought my son out on both shows. I sold it out twice, by the way. The first

show sold out in like an hour, and then the second one took like a couple days. Bringing my son out on that stage, and it's just the form. They painted my name on the wall. I was just like, is this fucking happening right now? How old is your son? He's going to be 17 next month.

So that was that moment where I got to like, he's at that age where he understands what I'm doing. Because if you would have came to my shows when he was coming to my shows 11 years ago, he had no idea what the fuck dad was doing. Right, right, right. He was like, can we go home? This sucks.

You know what I mean? But now he gets it. He was like, can we go home? This sucks. You know what I mean? But now he gets it. He's like, now I get it. Oh, yeah. My dad was selling out the forum. I'd be like, you're going to school every day being like, you know what's up, right? You know what's up, right? I made him take all his classmates.

He brought all his classmates. I had a whole section out for him. Yeah. I let them get all the merch they wanted. Dude, I hooked it up, dude. That was that moment, man. It was me and my son. You know, like every show, you basically put up a fucking, like a music video. After every, like, you call him DJ.

You got the fucking everything. I'm like, oh, this is high production, serious shit he's doing here yeah man if you're gonna do an arena you got to show them why it's an arena yeah you got to spend the money i you know i'm not gonna give them the same show from the improv i'm gonna give them the show that you guys paid for and waited for so it was great the surprise guests were amazing uh uh fluffy went up uh he did time did unannounced i didn't put them on the flyer and nothing no one knew uh adam carolla went up tiffany haddish went up uh wanya from boys to men went up it was it was epic bro it's not a block party not even not even i did i did two hours first and then i at the end, I just snuck everybody up, man.

It was great. Oh, they did after you. Oh, Gabe and Tiffany went up at the beginning and did like a five-minute set. Yeah, no big deal. Hey, Gabe, can you open up for me? So dope. Do you mind taking a break from whatever Chris Rock movie you're filming and come on down and open for me? It's so cool.

It was cool. The place went apeshit, man. But it was so cool to share that stage with those two people because we came up together, especially Tiffany. Tiffany used to babysit little Joe when I would go up at the Laugh Factory. So us on stage together was just like this full circle. Like, you know, her and I used to be broke at the Laugh Factory eating $2 hot dogs at the end of the night, you know,

and we looked forward to that and being able to share the stage together at the Forum, man. We both teared up and cried. It was great. That's awesome. That's a great moment right there. I got to ask you-

And then the cocaine! Arena cocaine, man. Crazy. The arena coke's better than the fucking laugh I drink? Yeah. Imagine it was a beautiful story, then all of a sudden, and the cocaine was crazy. What do you think is.

No cocaine, by the way. No cocaine. what do you think is okay by the way no cocaine what do you think is uh mentally and emotionally wrong with your friend josh wolf what the fuck is wrong with that asshole do you know what he did to us he basically he basically was an internet terrorist to barstool sports the past uh about a i guess a few weeks ago he tormented us for two weeks straight. He sent me one of his – are you on his text where he'll, like, he'll just send you a video that it's, like, a surprise, disgusting thing? Oh, yeah, always. Right.

So he sent me one that was just two guys getting fisted, and it was horrendous. Yeah, he's the worst. And I saw it, so I had to make John see it, and he puked. So the rest of my office was like, you got to show it to me. And it basically terrorized all of Barstool Sports watching these guys. And I'm just like, what? They straight up puked.

Straight up puked. They puked in the garbage can. And it's all because of Josh fucking Wolf. What's wrong with that son of a bitch? There's something mentally wrong with Josh. I think his brain physically stopped growing at 15. Yes. It's a 15 year old brain inside of a 45 year old man.

And I swear to God, I think every year he looks for a different frat house to join. I'm here guys. I'll buy the beer. He's that guy. And I love him. I know. I know. He's a guy, and I love him. I know. I know.

He's a great dude. It's just when you get to have a round, he's amazing. I'm going to block that number, man. I'm going to block that number. You get a text from him, and it's just like, oh, God, I'm not going to sleep for days now. Josh is in the building. It's so funny you said that because he just texted me, and I'll show you the text. Literally, he just texted me like an hour ago, and this is what he sent me. He goes show you the text. Literally, he just texted me like an hour ago.

He goes, hey, man. Hey, man. Can you put this thing I did on Facebook? Can you tweet it out? It's this girl put a leech in my ass. Jesus. What? They put a leech in my ass. Come on,

John. He tweeted it out. Yep. I'm sorry. He didn't say in my ass that would be how an adult says it this is what the 15 year old josh will said look you can read it right there they put a leech in my butthole and that and that was sent to me at 1203 sick pup man and what did i do i tweeted it And that was sent to me at 12.03. Sick pup, man. And what did I do? I tweeted it.

I mean, you don't. You know what I mean? Leaches have healing powers, though. Hang on. Josh could be on to something here. Let's not. Let's like with the videos of, you know, police stuff. You know, maybe there's something to this.

We don't know the whole story yet. Maybe. I think there could be some healing power to leech on the butthole. Yeah, maybe. Maybe we stick leeches in our buttholes. I'm going to let you test that out first. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You go first.

I'll go second. It goes leech, then hamster. Ask Richard Gere. We've been saying how this is kind of, this is our life. Basically, anyway, we don't do much. We hang out on the couch. We're not very social. And we watch a lot of TV. How have you been quarantining?

Have you been, did you watch the Tiger King? Are you watching? What are you doing? So it's all about the Tiger King. I've watched that. I binge watched that, by the way. I watched that one day. And then, dude, I righteous gems man on netflix

i just started that it's awesome holy shit danny mcbride oscar give him an oscar and you know what's scary and i just wrote a blog about this last night because there was a televangelist who got up on stage at one of his mega churches and he proclaimed coronavirus over he said you are done and i demand you to go out and honestly righteous gemstones is really not that like not that far it's really like it's funny it's funny to people like us and it's like uh it's a documentary to other people yeah that's it it's like a legit mockumentary but it's based on real facts it's like a legit mockumentary, but it's based on real facts. It's crazy. I believe their religion more than anybody else's religion. I believe in it.

It's so true. The one guy that I blogged about is worth $760 million, Joe. Tax-free, by the way. I don't think people know that. Tax-free. Pay no taxes. And I'm reading up on him he's like these guys they have every bible passage passage that cites that you're allowed to

have money and that luxury is okay oh yeah wants you to be happy they got it they got it ready to go if you buy something expensive with the lord's money all you have to say is the Lord bought this. I didn't buy this. I didn't even want it. I remember looking at the Lord and saying, I don't want that Rolex. And the Lord said, you deserve it. There was one guy who got three private jets, three

of them. Fucking asshole. He said, there's another one that said he believes in supernatural sustenance. So he said, I know you look at that toilet paper and you say to yourself, what am I going to do? There's no toilet paper left. And you go in the next day and there's more toilet paper.

And the next day, there's more toilet paper. We call that supernatural sustenance. No! You have to buy the toilet paper and there's none left, you fucking asshole. The best part of the racket is he'll say that you gotta pay him

tithes for the supernatural. Unless you give him money and you gotta sow your seed, you sow your tithe, whatever it is. And then he'll just fucking appear. And I don't, honestly, I don't even think that's scamming i don't know i think you're dumb enough to pay me for that sure i i think that's

like that's on you i always thought that when i watched wolf of wall street too when they would just call out people and they'd be like they're like oh it's penny stock trading it's illegal or whatever it's like dude if some guy just calls me and i give him five thousand dollars that's on me i think that's on you you've been. That's on you. You've been taught since a kid never to answer the phone or talk to strangers. If you did it as an adult, go fuck yourself. You're out $5,000.

I'm not crying. SEC doesn't need to get involved in that. That's just someone taking advantage of an idiot. But it's your fault you're an idiot. You should have done jumping jacks all through college and gotten a full ride. Be smarter. There you go. A stupid is as a stupid does.

Let me ask you one more question before we wrap up here. I've seen some comedians are trying to do virtual stand-up in front of- Absolutely never. No, that's what I thought. I feel like a lot of people are leaning that way, that it's just trash. That's dumb. Yeah. I need to interact

with humans i'm never going to become a virtual reality dude whatever the fuck that is that's not real i'm a human i need to have human contact and i need to socialize with real humans in front of me what if i told you that you could do a live stream tonight and you're going to get 15 000 people to tune in though. You're not doing it. Nope. Gotta be in, gotta be tangible.

Gotta be in person. They're going to be hitting the emoji with the laughing face. Hell no. That is so bad. I can't believe there's comments. Look, if there's comics that are doing it, God bless you.

That's, that's your, that's your art. That's what you want to do. Then do it. You know what I mean? That's the way of saying you're a fucking loser. If you do that. Yeah, man, you're you. That's your art. That's what you want to do, then do it. You know what I mean? That's the polite way of saying you're a fucking loser if you do that. Yeah, man. You're a fucking loser, by the way.

You're also at a point in your career where if you press pause for a couple months, you're not going to lose your fan base. You're a pro. You don't need to really... You can do this. I don't know. What would you tell the young comic who's like, I was cutting my teeth. I was learning, i and i can't do anything is there any option

is there any is there any any comic that's starting off man we all had to go through some dry spells like it wasn't coronavirus but i remember when i first started i mean there was months where i didn't have gigs there were months where i didn't get any stage time you I mean? I mean, I remember Tiffany and I wouldn't even see each other for a month before we got a spot at the laugh factor on a Saturday night. So it's like, it's a month, man. Like that's, that's the beginning stages of anything you do, anything that you pursue, pursue, especially when it comes to do with like talent type, uh, uh, dreams that you're trying to follow. You know what I mean? Like you're trying to follow your, you want to become a singer or a dancer or a comedian.

Like already you should know that there's going to be a lot of sleepless nights where your stomach is hungry. You already know that. So, yeah, unfortunately this sucks, but I mean, we have a lot of tools in our hands now that can make you become creative and also talk to your fan base and build your fan base. If this was happening 20 years ago, 30 years ago when I started, there was

no way I could talk to my people. I would have to literally write a letter to each person to get to the mailbox and send it out. At least this way I can talk to, ah, are you still there? Yeah,

no, we're good. What the, what just happened? We hit, we hit a stride. You're fine. You're good.

Nothing. I don't know how to do this. Hold on. Stay on and leave all this in because this is great. Yeah. Nothing happened. I don't know. You're frozen, but I can hear you.

So nothing happened. Are you still there? Yeah. You're still there. Hold on. God dang it. I don't know how to do this. Do what?

What happened? You were good. I know, but I don't know how to. Here you go. I got it. I think I found it. Here it is. I'm so sorry, you guys. Don't hang up. I got you.

I mean, you're going to hang up when you're like, I got it. I think you're just going to accidentally hang up because we're on. What the heck is going on? Are you on your laptop, a tablet, a phone? What are you on? Yeah, I'm on the laptop, but I can't find Skype. What happened, though? You were totally fine. Did you click something? Yeah, I got one of those little phone what do you want yeah i'm on the laptop but i can't find skype what happened though you were totally fine did you click something and then yeah i got one of those uh

i got i got uh what is it called it's the porn isn't it it's the porn no it's it's uh you jerk um no it's uh here we go i think i found on. What the heck? How do you open this? Joe, it's not my computer. Call your grandma over to help. She probably knows this better than you. Oh, my God. Yeah. Okay.

So let me explain what just happened. Are we on? We're good. Yeah, we're good. Can you see me? Why am I not moving? Yeah, you're a little bit frozen, but that's fine. Oh.

I told you he's going to hang up. Yep. Yep. Am I back? He's back. That was quick. Am I back? I can hear you.

I see a black screen. What do you see, John? I got a black screen. Hold on. Hold on. I want you to save all of this. Oh, yeah. This is going to be like our promo clip.

Like tune in to the interview. This is the best part of our show today. Jerks. What the heck? Everyone can see you. That's what it says. How do you open up the camera? Talk.

Walk me through. At the bottom where it says like mute and cam and mic. Yeah. Click. I don't know. Click cam. Cam. Cam mic. Then cam and mic. Yeah. Click, I don't know, click cam? Cam. Cam mic, then go to camera? Yeah.

I don't know. What does it say there? Can you see me now? No. What the heck is going on? Did you click stop cam? Should I? Click it and then unclick it.

Not good again. Should I? Click it and then unclick it. That was my guess. That's your equivalent to blow on the cartridge. Right. Yeah. Unplug it, plug it back in. Didn't work? Okay. I'm so mad right now.

It doesn't matter because you're fucking ugly, so we don't have to look at you anymore. That was very nice of you to say that. That was so nice. Hold on. Don't hang up because I'm going to get assistance right now. I'm going to get my tech who happens to be my cousin. How many people

you got there, Joe? It's a small orphanage. It's like Parasite. You got them in the basement and shit. By the way, they're all working. It's a small orphanage. It's like Parasite. You got them in the basement and shit. By the way, they're all working. It's a small orphanage. Help me. Get over here real quick. Run over here. Hurry. All right. He's coming right now.

You charging rent for these guys or what? Huh? You charging rent for these guys? The one good thing about my situation is I can afford to do this and I'm happy that I can do this for them. There's so many people here and I'm so happy. When you say my situation

you mean being a rich person? Oh, right. Yes. The camera turned off. Turn the camera back on. He doesn't know how to do it either. Well, you know what? We were probably going to wrap up soon anyway.

No, that sucks, KMC. Wait, Joe, we got to ask you real quick, though, before we let you go. You've been TikTok-ing in quarantine? I heard rumors. No, I would never do that, by the way. You're a jerk. No. God, this sucks. We can't turn on the camera. What happened?

I think that you would be great at TikTok. No. First of all, if you are over the age of 40, get the fuck off of TikTok. 40? If you're over the age of like 14, I think you should get off of TikTok. It's so funny because I got a bunch of people that are in their 30s and they're doing it. So I was thinking, okay, you got to be 30 to do it. So that's what I thought. I do believe there's a conspiracy theory that TikTok is a Chinese owned company and everyone's trapped

at home logging into TikTok now. It'd be one social media racket for all we know. Oh my God, dude. That's 100% what they're doing right now. They're recording us looking like assholes. 100%? 100%. As long as we survive, whatever, man. Listen, we thank you so much for

coming through as always. When you do get back out there, keep on selling those tickets and making, whatever, man. Listen, we thank you so much for coming through, as always. And when you do get back out there, keep on selling those tickets and making people laugh, man. Dude, I'm sorry this happened with the camera. Bro, it's actually better this way. It will be funnier, I promise you. Don't worry. I love you guys. Have a good one.

Love you too, bro. Bye, you guys. Look at what you see in her face. The mirror of your dreams. Make believe I'm everywhere. Give it in the light. Written on the pages is the answer to a never-ending story. And what you see will be The sun will keep their secrets real

A boat behind the clouds And there upon a rainbow Is the answer to a never ending Story Story Soaring high Soaring high