KFC Radio - Jo Koy's Taylor Swift Joke Falls Flat at the Globes - Full Episode

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Jo Key bombs at the Oscars 22:01 Katt Williams on the Club Shay Shay pod 26:08 Kat Williams Running a 4.4: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsiLZ5jpe1Y 41:51 "Gypsy Rose Blanchard" 58:53 Jeffrey Epstein Revealed List 01:07:08 Aliens in Miami: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12931805/miami-mall-aliens-creatures-police-response.html 01:08:48 https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=596679560&rlz=1C5GCEM_enUS1083&q=miami+cop+cars+mall+orb&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjhkODl7M6DAxXHGVkFHbK4CgAQ0pQJegQIBxAB&biw=1530&bih=869&dpr=2#imgrc=Ua9p_vi88wsy5M 01:09:14 Video Voicemails +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ BetterHelp: KFC Radio is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/KFC today to get 10% off your first month.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. If it was a perfect little mom, I'd have been better. That's comedy! That's comedy! That's Cat Williams right there. What a callback. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Big weekend for comedy. Big week for comedy with the Cat Williams podcast on Club Shea Shea with Shannon Sharp. You had Joe Coy at the Golden Globes Sunday night.

Some good, some bad. Which one do you want to begin with? Coy. Joe Coy. Our boy Joe Coy was at the Golden Globes last night. I love Joe Coy. I love him. He is one of the first guys, first comics, first celebrities that ever came on our show. I have talked with him off mic many times about business and life.

I think he is one of the nicest, most genuine, heartfelt dudes out there. He did not have a great night at the Golden Globes. To the point where it almost felt like he was taken off stage i i i didn't really watch um but i did see a lot of tweets i saw kelly being like i don't think joe coy's coming back out there were like from i wouldn't say half like by more than halfway through i feel like it started being like him coming out being next guest and then and then there were times you just say that he would just like there were times they He would just say that. He would just like – There were times he'd come back and it wouldn't even be him.

They'd just go in the next guest. Yeah. There was one time where I thought he was legitimately like left. So – I hadn't seen him in so long. Something clearly went on with the Golden Globes being that he was given the job like two weeks ago. Yeah. He got the job on December 21st.

I read an article. So I think Chrisris i think it was openly known that chris rock was asked and turned down i don't know if there were other uh people i don't understand but like when did they ask chris rock 14 days ago right that so that's something i don't know if somebody dropped out i don't know there might just be more going on behind the scenes because that seems like a drastically bad idea to get a host two weeks before the show. Even if you did get the best of the best of the best who have hosted it a million times. I'm sure Ricky Gervais would be like, I need more than two weeks.

What the fuck? You know what I mean? No, Gervais. He could put a lot of bad. But no, I think he's done with the Globes. Right, but I'm saying – He won last night and he didn't show up. Right.

I'm just saying someone who is a professional host would still probably be like, wait a minute. I need to know what's going on. So now Joe Coy, if you're in the comedy world, you know him. I mean Joe Coy makes like $30 million a year. Joe Coy sells out like 10 arenas in every city he goes to. Joe Coy is a very successful comedian. Now, he's huge in the Filipino community, and it might not be your demographics, so you might not know him.

Chelsea Lately fans will remember him. So, I mean, like Chelsea Lately is 20 years ago. Like he's been in the game for a long time and is a wildly successful comedian but this is like a different level of uh of of celebrity where it's like household name type stuff so when people like who is joe coy or like who is this guy like just know that he's one of the most successful people to ever touch a microphone just because you don't know him now that all being said there is you know the performance itself there's just there is a different level i think when you're said there is you know the performance itself there's just there is a different level i think when you're in that room you know what i mean like you can sell out

arenas you can do millions of tickets you can be on stage every night you are on stage in front of the best most talented people in the world the funniest people the harshest critics the you know all that bradley cooper's mom sitting front row in sunglasses gangster i thought i thought that was like all right mrs cooper it's a little bit much i don't know it's a little bit you get the story behind that did she just want to just like i have no idea i don't know if anyone even know i noticed it i don't i don't think i it was a big thing i actually i actually did but i probably did take a picture and i almost tweeted and i was just like yeah it's not worth it um yeah i did like that's crazy like okay it was notice um the i mean she looks like a mob wife there wait that's actually that's not from this i

guess she's always worth some glasses so that's what i'm saying maybe that's maybe maybe you know i don't know maybe it's her i i was just like i'm gonna tweet this and someone's gonna be like she's actually crazy famous or she's actually got glaucoma. Oh, my God. She's like three feet tall. Holy shit. That's like a perfect little mom. Yeah, so she's wearing glasses and everything.

That was the most perverted thing you've ever said. That's like a perfect little mom. You made it perverted, bro. I was talking about like a wholesome mom you made it perverted bro I was talking about like a wholesome little high high kind of shot up you're both perverts you're perverts

I don't even mean perverted sexually I mean perverted perverted this is fucking weird ooh what a perfect little mom you're the one saying it that way. I didn't say it that way. I know you meant it in not a word.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just struck my ear. A little lip smack before. That's a perfect little mom right there. That was sick. So, I mean, the internet, hosting these things is very often a thankless job ricky gervais is probably one of the only guys when he just like you know burned down hollywood people loved it i i have a a mixed feeling with ricky gervais too i do too but because i i think he just like i think what he ends up doing in these shows

is typically pretty low-hanging fruit it's like predictable and then but everyone's like yes someone said it everyone's saying so also i think and i like ricky gervais as a as a honestly not so much as a comedian but as an actor as a creator obviously i'm a ricky gervais fan right i think i think when people like he's the goat host i think it's just like because you have this fantasy of you telling a celebrity off yes and that's it that it's it's blue collar uh like common man fuck hollywood shit and i'm not like i'm not like it's terrible either but i'm not like it's the greatest there is truth to it yeah but it's very either. No, because – It's the greatest of all time. There is truth to it. Yeah. But it's very easy to – like we can all tell jokes about like celebrities having their heads up their asses and smelling their own farts sort of shit.

Now, what I admire about that is the balls to do it. Yes. I don't necessarily think the jokes that are crafted are incredible. But it's just like he's burning every bridge in this room. And they're all the most important bridges in Hollywood. And he's still going to make – he's still going to win an Emmy. He's still going to fucking – But it's also he's not burning bridges. They know what he's burning every bridge in this room and they're all the most important bridges in hollywood and he's still gonna make he's still gonna win an emmy he's still gonna fucking but it's also he's not burning bridges they know what he's gonna do he knows they know what he's gonna do at this point i i think it's actually it's actually not the fucking badassery

that people think it is like it's probably like this fucking they're all like yeah we got you ricky like listen anybody who thinks that like hollywood is not like you know several steps ahead of the average joe you, they're all fucking – But I guess now that I say that, there's a part of me that is like, well, I think everyone knew what Nate was going to do when he got up on stage at the Marshall Awards. But there also were people here who were pissed. Well, it depends. Yeah, so I'm sure there's some people who are like, what's up, Ricky? Great job.

And I'm sure there's some people who go home and never talk to him again. Right, right. And I actually would venture to guess, maybe we're wrong, that when you get to that level in Hollywood, it's a lot more of those people than the funny job Ricky. Yeah, it's true. I'm thinking about it. But I – so I think it's a thankless job to begin with. Very hard to like really kill it. Even like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler I think at one point were revered. But I think early on when they used to do it, they got killed.

I don't know about early on. I feel like it's just a tough thing to do. I think they had two, and I think they killed both. Did they? Yeah. But they were already pretty big too, right? Yeah. But so was Ricky Gervais.

Ricky Gervais has already done 30 by the time he did this. I'm sorry. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They're all known. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those hosts are like, that's my friend up there. Or that's my acquaintance. Or I know my friend up there or that's my acquaintance or i know who he is or that's my fucking uh my my mentor or my you know my hero yeah joe coy is

none of that to like any of these people but it's such a weird dichotomy because it's like everywhere he goes in his life he is he's i mean and again to reiterate like he's awesome about it like he's a family man he puts on comics he does it the right way he's one about it. Like, he's a family man. He puts on comics. He does it the right way. He's one of the good guys. Like, all that shit. So then when you just step up and you're like, wow, like, this is such an honor. This is kind of crazy. I'll do it in two weeks.

All right, let's see what happens. And everyone's like, fuck you. It's like, oh, man. Probably maybe you shouldn't have done that. I don't know. I mean, like, part of me thinks, no such thing as bad publicity. And get your name out there.

Link to Taylor Swift, which by the way, was, I think like the best joke in the set. Yeah. I think, I don't think it was like an amazing joke, but to me that was the people like the Taylor fans who are clutching their pearls over that one, the misogyny and the patriarchy and shit. Like that's, that's, that's crazy. Like you're tearing down another woman, blah, blah, blah. Like you're making her the butt of the joke again.

Like I don't think that's – she's not the butt of that joke. Right. She's definitively not the butt of that joke. I don't think people understood that joke. I don't think they got the joke. But I actually think they do and they're just like willfully ignoring it. Like just like it's such a – it's a joke. That's a joke you tell at these awards show where like it's three months old and it's –

You go ha-ha-ha. It's a mainstream CBS joke and it's fine. It's pretty – it was pretty good. It was a pretty solid joke. It's a perfect – it's a good shot at the coverage. What happened was Taylor's reaction, which I think she was going to do to anybody, to any joke, to any reference, to any camera cutaway. I think she was – do to anybody to any joke to any reference to any camera cutaway i think she was that's her being in on it being like i'm gonna sit my glass and look extra like stone-faced i don't think that was like a genuine like fuck you yeah i think that this i don't think

it did joke or any favors but no it didn't but like i'm sure he's like fuck you couldn't have just chuckled i i think like that was her being like, I obviously could be 10,000% wrong here. But one of my issues with hardcore Swifties is that they baby Taylor Swift. Yes, like she can't handle that. She's an adult woman with a good sense of humor and a good sense of humor about herself. And I don't think that overstepped. I don't think that – I think that's a completely fine joke. And I think like the natural reaction to that is for a person with a good sense of humor and about themselves, which Taylor has, is to be like – and maybe you roll your eyes like, yeah, I've heard it 10,000 times, dude.

Right. But like – But I even think in the moment i bet you if you ask taylor swift like again i i think that was like a little like she was hamming it up and i think if you asked her why she did that i think she'd like to be funny not to like i just think it happened to coincide with joe coy struggling yeah so then it became like taylor ended you and i think she was just doing it to be like you know i fuck off i'm the queen you know no i think she was doing it to be funny that yeah yeah that reaction she has is a much more difficult reaction to force your face to have than just like a little giggle yes like and again if we're talking about like repeated joy and i drew that

parallel with with like nate the mars awards like nate's to me was you're gay yeah yeah i really fucking kidding i laughed at it right i go. But like that would be harder than go. Yeah. Just let yourself naturally. Yeah. Like the social. It's a joke you've heard a lot. And you're like, yeah.

Yeah. Pretty good. Whatever. Yeah. And like, yeah. Taylor for three months is her. She's on TV too much. She's on TV too much.

She's on TV too much. And she heard it again. And like, yeah. Yeah. But like, I think she wanted a moment. And I think but I just think it turned into – it was the perfect storm because Joe had – had he already said the thing about I didn't write these jokes? Yeah. Yeah.

So that had already happened. So Joe also – I don't mind going up there, taking a risk. I'm not well-known. I only had two weeks. Fuck it. Let's roll. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. The one moment I wasn't too fond of was when he was like, I didn't write some of these

jokes. This is not going to be perfect. Like, come on, guys. Like, I think the play there is to embrace it. Like, if you're bombing and you're not admitting you're bombing, that's not going to be great. But then you have to admit you're bombing and just be like, oh my god, this is the worst night of my life, guys. And I think then that would have been a funny moment. I think Hollywood would have laughed. The whole world would have laughed.

If Joe Coy was just like, oh, this is going to be the longest night of my life and I have three more hours of this. I cannot, like, I'm firing my agent. Who told me to take this job? I think everyone would have laughed. Being like, I only wrote some of these jokes and they're the funny ones. I didn't love that. Because then it kind of, now you're pushing back at these jokes and they're the funny ones and i didn't i didn't

love that because then it kind of now you're you're pushing back at the crowd and they're just going to keep uh and when i say crowd i mean like the internet as well as the crowd in the room because the internet was just having a field day man but that's all like i hope he just rolls with it and and has good fun with it i reached out to him i'm sure he's not like looking to you know rehash all this. But I think the move would be to do an interview or come on a show and just be like, holy fucking shit. Especially with, like, when you get thrown into the Taylor, you know, cyclone. It's almost like, in a way, it's negative, right?

No one's being like, oh, my God, like, we love Joe Coy from the Swifties. But it's not, like, terrible, terrible. The people who are talking about it being like misogyny or crazy so it's almost like hey you get to ride the taylor swift wave for a couple days and if it even if it goes poorly or you lose some followers or you get some trolls like that's interesting so talk about it roll with it put it in your set and i would imagine that's what he's going to do he's you know been a professional forever but that is uh it's a whole new level of you know been a professional forever but that is uh that's a whole new level of you know comics can be like i bombed everywhere big rooms small rooms early on

late in life whatever national tv bomb you know yeah when harrison ford goes oh harrison ford is a motherfucker though he'll do that to just about anybody but yeah that was the harrison ford one the taylor one was a big reaction. There was a Selena Gomez moment, which I don't know if it was from all the gossip shit going on or that, but she just kind of like looked down at her phone like, oh my god. So I mean it was rough. It was rough. And also one of those things is like I'm sure there were some jokes in there that were fine, but once the horse is out of the barn on this guy's bombing, everything's bombing.

Everything's unfunny. The Taylor joke becomes unfunny. Some of it is also not good. Other people came out and killed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Will Ferrell came out. I forget what was your name. Bridesmaids, SNL.

Kristen Wiig. Kristen Wiig. Kristen Wiig. name bridesmaids snl christen wick christen wick christen wick uh i haven't heard imagine those people knew like well in advance though and had you know and crafted their one fucking thing i mean they i think it's just they're there they make me laugh so like yeah but they had matt damon crying they're just dancing goofy like it was funny as hell uh gaff can coming out and just calling everyone a pedophile. That was funny. It wasn't like the room wasn't laughing or the room wasn't having

a good time. At least from sitting on my couch is what it seemed. So, you know, I hope to hear from Joe soon and I hope he just kind of rolls with it and has fun with it because at the end of the day, it's like, you know, whatever. Will the Oscars come knocking anytime soon? Probably not. fun with it because at the end of the day it's like you know whatever well you know will the uh

the oscars come knocking anytime soon probably not but it's like all right i'll go i'll go back to my fucking arenas and go back to my awesome life it'll be okay shout out poor things though that's your movie that's that's salt burner or poor things which you're gonna what's if you're gun to your head what do you got i haven't haven't seen Poor Things yet. It might be Poor Things. What's Poor Things about? It's like – to be perfectly honest, and Jackie might have you cut this, it's what Barbie wanted to be. Leave it in. I say leave it in. It's a woman discovering herself and discovering her power And it's done in a very interesting, funny way. I get how, not visually, but how it looks wacky and it turns people off.

The story being told is a fairly standard story. And it's so fucking funny. So fucking good. That is a scary poster. It's so good. Maybe the first five minutes of the movie, you're kind of almost like a box, figuring each other out, and then there's a line

that lets you know, like, oh, okay, this is where we're going. Did this just come out relatively recently? Yeah, I'd say probably two, three weeks ago. I saw it when I was home for Christmas. And it's up for all the awards and shit? It won Best Comedy, and Emma Stone won Best Actress. It's awesome. It must have just, just, just made the cutoff, huh? Yeah. It's really, really, really good. She, and Emma Stone won Best Actress. It's awesome. It must have just, just, just made the cutoff, huh?

Yeah. It's really, really, really good. And Emma Stone actually was so funny last night too in the almost post-game. Sarah, when she called Taylor Swift an asshole. Yeah. What an asshole. That was fun. By the way, back to Barbie.

Joe Coy, the boobies joke was – that was it. I didn't catch that one. It was just like the two big movies of the year, Oppenheimer, or the two big movies of the year, one was based on a 721-page document written by a political commission to explore the blah, blah, blah of nuclear, blah, blah, blah, and the other one's about a doll with big boobies. And it was just like. That was not so good. Yeah.

And honestly, I think that was early. As someone who's stepped in Barbie before. It was like a boobies joke is not funny. That's not a good joke. That's not a good joke. So like you can make sophomoric be funny because when you're like – it's like if you're blatantly being sophomoric. But it like didn't come across that way. It came across as like a boobies joke.

And then it was also the pile on of like – you want to talk about the misogyny shit the the barbie gang was out hard on him uh so that like i think that lost like the room and the internet on both sides of the aisle like not like you could also so easily flip that where like one is about womanhood and feminism and it was about murdering 200 000 japanese people there's such a there's so many good dichotomy jokes to make there and that was not that was not the one if he did that especially with you know you know his one is about how we really tried to fucking just genocide what is about war crimes that we just spin in our textbooks? That would have gotten the audience gasping and probably some people being like,

fuck yeah. You know what is interesting though? I'll say this. I posted last night about Joe bombing and specifically the Taylor joke, but also just kind of in general saying he was bombing. And very small sample size and certainly not indicative of all of the internet

and mostly probably a lot of people not watching so I think the people who were watching were like no no no it was not a great performance but like specifically that joke and the notion of him bombing the immediate reaction was more like what we were talking about and probably why Ricky Gervais does it

most people were just like fuck Hollywood who cares that was a harmless joke people getting offended or not offended but like people being like, fuck Hollywood. Who cares? That was a harmless joke. People are getting offended, or not offended, but like people being like upset about that, like whatever, man. Like Joe's a funny guy, you know? Like you hired a comedian

and he's telling jokes. Like some of them are good, some of them are not bad. Like that was sort of the reaction as opposed to, I think, you know. It was almost like the opposite of what the internet usually does.

It's usually like the internet's piling on. It was like the people who saw it. Usually the internet is piling on and the people who saw it are kind of like – that's not the case. In this case, the internet wasn't piling on but the people who saw it was like, no, no, no. It was the case. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was like the reverse of what usually happens.

KFC Radio is sponsored by BetterHelp. Around the New Year's, we can get obsessed with change and how to change ourselves and expand ourselves or even just do what we're already doing right, doing that better. It's a good time. You turn the calendar and you have a fresh start and maybe you're doing good and you want to tackle another aspect of yourself or maybe you're doing bad and you got to kickstart it and get it going

but either way, the beginning of the New Year is the best time to get on board with any sort of plan or regiment, take your supplements, eat your breakfast, make your bed, and get on board with therapy. Therapy is – I think the mental health pendulum has swung every which way. And I think I'm at the point where it's like it's just better to get all of your thoughts and stuff off your chest. You know what I mean? Undeniably, when you are getting your thoughts out

and your secrets out and your stress out and just talking to someone, you will feel better. Feedback is good. Feedback helps. Feedback with someone you don't have to maintain a personal relationship with. Yes, huge, huge.

And that's what a therapist offers where they can give you an unbiased opinion. They can give you honest feedback. They don't judge. And that's what BetterHelp provides for you all in the form of online therapy. That means you can text them. You can call them. You can do video chats. You can switch up therapists if you don't like them.

There's a whole host of them to pick from. And all of them are licensed therapists to help you get better and get all that stress out of your body by talking about it with convenient and flexible hours suited to your schedule. Entirely online. You don't have to commute to it. You don't have to worry about a doctor's office. You don't have to worry about going out. You can do it all from the comfort of your own home. Entirely online. You don't have to commute to it. You don't have to worry about a doctor's office. You don't have to worry about going out. You can do it all from the comfort of your own home entirely online. All you got to do is fill out a

brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist. And like I said, switch at any time for no additional charge. Go to betterhelp.com slash KFC today and get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp H-E-L-P dot com slash KFC. Get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp H-E-L-P dot com slash KFC. Get 10%

off your first month. Celebrate the progress you've already made and make some more progress with BetterHelp. And then the other big thing in comedy happened just after we dropped last week's episode so a few days late but we can't we gotta talk about it because it's still making waves and headlines.

Cat Williams on Shannon Sharp, Club Shay Shay, with just, I think, the best podcast performance ever. I called it the biggest ever. I think I had Googled the biggest Rogan and Musk podcast, and I thought I saw it said that it had 33 million views. I think I saw in a bunch of comments that one of his interviews had like 67. I think there was multiple parts. the rogan and musk podcast and i thought i saw it said that it had 33 million views somebody i think i saw a bunch of comments that one of the one of his interviews had like 67 i think there was multiple parts so listen if rogan and musk did 67 million views on a podcast of course that's the biggest podcast ever but when you factor in that i think that interview sucked and i can't think

of anything other than the smoking meme that came out of it. Whereas Cat Williams had like 35 headlines come out of this thing. I think it's the greatest appearance that anybody has made on a podcast ever. And I love it because it's got truth and it's got some not truths, I think. Club Che Che, to a quick aside, is the worst name for a podcast ever. But I think it kind of plays. I think that I realize I'm throwing a stone from inside a glass

house. Club Shay Shay probably is definitively better than KFC Radio. Because at least it makes you No, but it's like you're in my club, like little Club Shay Shay. It's not like we're in the club club. Yeah, it's like you're on at a club. Because at least it makes you – no, but it's like you're in my club, like little club Shea Shea. It's not like we're in the club club.

Yeah. It's like you're on a radio show. I think Shannon Sharp has done one of the best jobs with taking the ball and running with it. Like as soon as the like Unc thing came about, like, oh, that's Unc. That's Uncle Sharp. Like that's Uncle Shannon. He became like I'm going to be a cultural, you know, I don't want to say icon, but like he's not a sports analyst anymore. He's not just a hot take artist. He has become like a guy that people want to sit down with, want to be interviewed by, all that shit. But Cat Williams, I don't know like if if he reached out to shannon sharp or

like how this came about but this this felt like a man on a mission i don't think he came in there being like let's just yeah we'll just chop it up oh whoops i like i think the thing now i think i would not it wasn't steve harvey one of the who's the other comedian he went after right away cedric cedric i think Cedric was on it recently. Yeah. And Cedric said something, so I'm guessing Cat was like, hmm. Yeah, yeah. He definitely kept saying, like, I'm only speaking on these guys because they've all been on your show and either brought me up or told lies about me.

But then I feel like a bunch of other people caught straight. Not all these people went on Shannon Sharp's podcast. A little funny aside, we were supposed to have Cat Williams on like maybe like six months ago. It was over the summer. Was it over the summer? I thought it was longer than that. Longer than that. Whatever it was. Within the past year, there was like multiple times where Cat Williams was like almost locked

and then locked but then canceled and then we moved it and whatever. And not that he would have sat down with us and done all this but when i saw 22 million views in like two days i was like boy i really wish we locked that interview in that would have been good uh but i do think it's a perfect storm of like he said all that because of the setting because of the timing because of the show because of the host because of what the other people had said but man he pulled no punches and i i think i think the general reaction is a lot of people being like uh like he told no lies yeah and i think which is weird like i think it's weird when you pepper in some of the other stuff

like i can run a 4-2-40 well then he did it kevin he did yes he did a 4-7 now he's older but he when did he do that that's the most impressive thing about this whole podcast i was running against that the that that uh that white chick when when was this he's like me two days ago oh my god i missed this yeah no this is this is the headline my podcast. It was a 4'7 something. Hell yeah. Okay, so I was about to say 4'7. And we know that was 40 yards. Yeah, he's on a basketball court.

Dude, it's funny because it's still like he looks a little goopy, but he's flying. Bro, I didn't know that he did that um okay because my point was going to be as soon as you start with that head down you know he's got an older gentleman's hairline and he's still flying i was going to say once you start lying about one or two things it lets people be like well maybe that was why maybe that was why once you go out there and you prove one of your more ridiculous claims, now it's – 8,000 books in a day a year might be – That one maybe – I think it's eight.

It was the fact that it was – yeah, it's like eight books a day. Eight books a day. It's tough. That's a lot. 4,240, which he will cross that off the list. 3,000 books a year and I could have gone to college at 7. We're going to need an admissions statement or something to prove that one. I don't know, man.

Never mind. The fuck is – Believe it or not. Both of those. If you're on a 4-4 at like 55, whatever he is, I'll take it. I'll take it. Whatever you say, man. I believe you. But more

importantly, it's like, he said something that, my favorite part of the whole thing, when he was like, everybody's an individual, and everybody has, you know, their own personality and their own quirks about them. But in reality, there are five or six people,

five or six types of people in this world, and you see them everywhere you go, in every in every setting and every everything and i was like god damn it that isn't the truth where it's like at work with friends in this scenario in that scenario there's just like this guy is the asshole and this guy is the ass kisser and this guy is the snake and this girl is that and and feel like when you are, what Cat Williams has done is just really I think sounds like not been any of those people and like actually been

just himself and when you're 50 whatever and you don't when you are completely it sounds like completely independent like I do my specials, I'm not beholden to any any comedy group group to any uh label to any studio to any uh anything and eventually 52 and like this has probably been bubbling up for i don't know 30

fucking years and he just let the chopper sing bro bro. He just – I mean he said it about everybody. He is like – I almost feel like he's kind of like a Joe Coy thing where – actually, I don't know. It might be a black-white thing where like white people don't realize how successful he is. Well, that was an interesting part of his show too. He said when I started out or at least – I don't know about started. But at some point, he was like, Shannon Sharp asked, when did you get to the West Coast? And he said, before I was on the West Coast, I was more popular with white audiences than black.

And so he said he moved to Sacramento. Sacramento is like exactly 50-50 black and white. And he performed there. He wanted to be good with the black community. So he didn't like the fact that the white crowds liked him better so he went to sacramento he performed there for two years until he got like 50 50 and then he moved to oakland and was like i'm gonna try to make sure black communities like black crowds love me and he did that so um he he was i but i would agree that right now i don't think white people yeah i

think white people oh what happened to kat williams like yeah like the and i'm just as guilty kind of like i i knew i found out i never watched atlanta so i didn't know he wanted an emmy for that yep i i i guess i am exactly what he was avoiding but don't you think that that's that's kind of what he's talking about like i think if he went the route of what it sounds like some of the Steve Harveys and whatever – the general vibe he was talking about of selling your soul and being in this consortium of fucking – he made it sound like a crew of supervillains. White people. Yes. Basically what I'm saying is those guys did all that and got in and became household names relatively like white people yeah yes basically what i'm saying is like those guys did all that and got in and became household names relatively with white people and and the general

like everybody and he he could have done that and didn't and so yeah people like me and you maybe don't understand like how prolific and how great he was but i don't think he really cares about yeah at the end of the day i mean he was his special 12 in the in the green suit is that was our i remember the first joke where i was like oh i like comedy and that was john stewart the one time he hosted snl and then his special might be the first time where i was like i i didn't like fall i didn't i didn't get like as obsessive about it until like till a little later but that i remember watching that at my buddy's brother's house and we were sitting on his brother's bed and like it's like he's like you gotta see this cat lambs thing and i watched and i was like i cried for an hour straight yeah

it was insane so fucking that is the poor little tank tank and stuff like that like that one i thought was so good where I was like, okay, I didn't really, even like seeing the John Stewart on SNL, like I didn't realize like it was a career kind of deal. Like, I don't know what year it came out, but I was,

I was probably early teens, maybe even younger than that. And it was, but then, but then I guess again, that was when he had a white crowd. It was my white friend showing me. And then he moved to Oakland, remember,

Sacramento. And then, I mean Oakland, remember, with Sacramento. And then I didn't really follow him that closely after that. When he was like – when he said your specials aren't good enough for Netflix or Tubi. It's actually jeans and a green jacket. And then repeated that. Tubi is just – poor Tubi. Tubi gets no respect. Tuboby gets no respect, man. But like it's got to just be very satisfying.

I think the ultimate level is like when you achieve the level of success he did without really like compromising yourself is one level. To then go out there, publicly say that, burn burn it down and be totally okay is the true yeah because you could you could you could be like well like all right maybe that maybe you did it but like now you're blackballed or now you're fucked and it's like no most of the audience loved it i think a lot of his peers are kind of like he sweats so much yeah well he puts on a fucking show bro he's up there fucking i mean he's you know he is a showman for sure uh the fact that you can do that and then it comes across like well and not bitter and more like genuine and i mean it's like i said i think it's the greatest fucking appearance ever.

You're saying something where you were like, nothing happened, nothing like you had no backlash or whatever. I'd say the exact opposite happened, where you had so many comedians come out and be like, yeah, cats are carrying me. Right. to care of me right like right like some no name some bigger names some middle of the road names being like i i i've i've read or listened to probably five plus stories from comedians being like i was doing something at caroline's i was doing something at the cellar i was doing something at the comedy store and like cat would just be like yo man great set and got me up and then you know they were all of them to a person they're like i didn't want to be rude so i didn't look and then later at night i went to get a slice of pizza and realized he gave me three grand or uh wow like uh devin cole i think it was

holy shit like they were like like he like he did it was all people who like opened for him and stuff like that yeah and they'd be like you know it's a hundred dollar spot and cat would give me thousands of dollars like every person is saying that and devin cole the fucking devin cole said the next person interview him ask him how much money he's given away in his life because he'll never tell you no one knows every time he's like i think devin cole the pizza story might have been devin cole's but there were a couple other comedians who like tweets i was reading or screenshots of their tweets of people being like look at the receipts that people have for cat and like everyone is like cat was my guy i mean i i had a couple conversations where people were like yeah he he told no lies up there a lot

of that a lot of that sounded true um which is you know like that that means there are just there are some you got to just start to question you know so many things it's comedy and hollywood and all these stories where it's just like it's probably not how it went down at all you know and even when when like like he said about in every walk of life you, you see that because when you start to see in regular life, it's like, oh, that's that family story that they tell. Like that's not really what happened or secrets on the internet here at Barstool, places where it's not nearly on the same level. And it's like, oh, well, of course, those – the tales you are are not really how it went down uh the the the bit about him winning the cedric the entertainer award like he he won like the cedric the entertainer award for comedy excellence after he stole his joke and then said he didn't steal his joke and

then admitted to stealing his joke and here he has to accept an award. Like, fuck that, man. That shit. That's probably why that whole rant happened. That exact moment. And he held on to it for a while as long as he fucking could. And one or two people told enough lies that just pushed him over the edge. I can't imagine how good that must have felt walking out of there.

What do you think feels better? When you do it and you get all of the get it all off? We're watching a little bit of a special right now on YouTube. Or the reaction. Wait, I'm sorry. What do you think is better? Like the minute Club shea shea ended and he was just like you know shannon sharp was probably like holy shit bro like oh you just got like 30 years off off your chest or the reaction there we go i i don't know because i've never

like i'm not as brave as cat williams so i've never like been like ah that's off my chest yeah uh that's what i mean though. So few people do that. The reaction probably feels great, too, but it's probably like – I bet if the reaction was bad, if people were like, oh, he's bitter and shitting on people for no reason, I think you still would have been like, whatever, bro. I need it to fucking – I don't know. I feel like that almost enrages you more. No, I just – fucking you goddamn idiots.

I told you the truth this time. Yeah, yeah. And you fucking still aren't seeing it. Well, I think it was just done so funny and so, like, a lot of it sounded very, you know, like, factual, you know? The Kevin Hart stuff was interesting. Kevin Hart thing was kind of weird. Industry, that's one I think is a little weird, too.

Industry plant gets around. Kevin Hart's been doing this since he was 16. I think the plant was the wrong way to go. But I could see a world where when he gets so big that people were like, oh, man, I used to see him at the comedy store in L.A. all the time. And it's like that – and it's not like Kevin Hart's fault. I don't think he was like lying. I could just see people like concocting this thing because it's like people want to say that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I grew up with that guy. It's like when Francesa came in here and saidave used to show up at his studio all the time it's like yeah you're either mixing up your stories or whatever i'm sure there was some level of like people did think oh yeah yeah kev's out in la and so now he's been on like philly and new york like most of his career he probably did sell out a couple shows here and there at the comedy store or whatever and then people like remember that or talk about that it was interesting that i mean he talked to big j and fucking shane like he's a philly guy he's been around he's right around here and like i think he did have a meteoric rise but not after

not before having like years of grinding it out yeah you know i mean i'll tell you honestly cat would probably know more than me, but like, from what I've heard from Philly Comics, they consider him a real, a Philly comic. Yeah. And I think Kevin probably,

to become the level that he's at, at least to my face, I don't know. Probably. I guess they, they speak in green rooms, but in the microphones, they say that.

Yeah. I feel like, no, Big Jay, the way Big Jay, I mean, Big Jay is one of the realists. He's never going to, like, lie about anything. And he very much is, like, and he talks about, like, they were on the same level and then Kevin exploded. And I think Kev probably did, you know, some corporate stuff here and there to, like, make it to that top, top level.

You know, some people do do that some people don't i think kevin hart's like the the definition of the way to do it with like grace and class and not be like an asshole about it you know um but yeah like like i that's where part of it is like i don't i don't like him making fun of kevin hart i don't like him making fun of ludacris why did ludacris have to catch that straight why ludacris's wife has to catch that straight that was really fucked up part did you see ludacris's response yeah you see when heris' response? Yeah. You see when he said, check your temperature? Yeah.

Checking your pulse while saying check your temperature is all-time funny. I love that. But, yeah, like, there's a couple. I find comedy to be like sports where you pick players, people that you like, and not necessarily don't like, but it's more like this is my guy, you know? And so then you kind of root for them and then when like when someone you like is going at someone you also like it's like oh you know i want to be on i want you guys to like each other uh but like him making fun of like steve harvey and cedric the entertainer doesn't like i don't i don't care for those guys you know

other than i see them on i mean i i did call steve harvey remember that remember on kbc radio it was like oh yeah i think i called no i called that steve harvey was going to blow up yes to the next but that that's got to be the the harshest thing like when when cat williams like he's just not a comedy writer he doesn't do comedy anymore and it's like that's just a fact and it's true when he said he was like these people can't come up with a new hour of comedy every year. I've done that 19 times, come up with a new hour of comedy 19 years in a row. I'm sure there are some people who did it like twice, and they're like, I can't do this anymore. I'm going to go host a fucking daytime TV show.

But what a great get for Shannon, though. I mean, that, I'm sure Club Che Che was doing very well. Again, demographic-wise, I'm sure it's much bigger with people not like us. And I'm sure it was, how many subscribers do you have? 2.2. Yeah, so he's already, like, killing it, and he was, you know, first take or whichever one he's on, Undisputed, whatever it is. Not like Shannon Sharp is like, oh, now my career is on. But from a point of view of this show, I think he would still – I think most people would still associate him with the Skip Bayless' shit and all that stuff.

I think this – now people take note of this show, and it's a whole new world. That's got to feel – I i mean he barely said three words he would just you know maybe maybe uh you know pop a question in there or change direction a little bit but it was basically three hours of cat williams just saying whatever the fuck he wanted you want to do a little gypsy i don't know who she is okay form like give him okay this is perfect yeah this is. Okay. This is perfect. This is like – this is perfect. You have no idea who Gypsy Rose Blanchard is. I definitely recognize the name.

Okay. I feel like she probably killed somebody. Well, technically speaking, no. I'm going to give you the facts of the matter as impartial as I can. Okay. Which is not going to be very impartial. Gypsy Rose Blanchard, her mother, Dee Dee Blanchard, had Munchausen by proxy. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. They made TV shows about this. A lot of TV shows about this. The one with Beale? Or is that the one that Beale – No, that's The Axe Murderer. That's Beale and fucking Elizabeth Olsen. The Axe.

Yeah, that's a different one. There's many – I don't know about TV shows. There's a movie called Mommy Dearest that is similar. There's a Hulu show about this for sure. Well, that's what's going on right now. Okay. So, okay, yeah. So there's movies about it.

There's movies similar to it. So she, her mother was mentally fucked and kept poisoning her and lying about medical things. So she would say like she would put numbing agents in her mouth and have her drool and then go to a like a quack doctor and be like look at this and then have her salivary glands removed she would like rot her teeth with some shit on purpose and then go to a dentist and have him pull all of her teeth so she has like when she talked you can see a full mouth of metal teeth she um she was told she had cancer she was forced to use a wheelchair when she could walk she like she she uh her grandfather rode a motorcycle and she used to ride on the back of it not the best idea they had an accident but she was like i got like a scrape on my leg and my mom

put a brace on my leg and made me use a wheelchair like from that day on um so surgeries poison uh all sorts of fucked up shit she would find these doctors who i guess were quacks anytime they asked for records she said that they were washed away in hurricane katrina because they were from new orleans or as soon as like there was one time where that uh she kept lying about her age to keep her younger because she didn't want her to be like an adult and one doctor started to figure that out and like the day that she was supposed to go see that doctor and he's on this this documentary that's out right now he was like i was about to you know bring it up uh she like said she got uh robbed at gunpoint at walmart and like this crazy story to like avoid going to the doctor well it's just so unnecessary you tell the doctor i'm

not coming yeah that's one of the most crazy lies of all right right right i cancel doctor appointments all the time like exclusively so fast forward she gets a little bit older uh she's allowed to use the internet she gets an internet boyfriend um who she starts explaining everything and the boyfriend is like your mother's poisoning you this is this is what's going on um they have a very weird as you can imagine weird and toxic internet relationship together um he starts to he's into like weird bdsm shit and very controlling whatever eventually ends up telling her he has an alter ego where he is victor the vampire who likes to murder people and he says i would murder anybody

for you and she says anybody and he says yes she said what about my mother this is all done on the internet yeah i think well at some point they started to see each other um at one point she she did run away from home and go to live with him in wisconsin and she tracked the mother tracked her down brought her back home and like physically chained her to the bed. So at one point they were like physically – they tried to have sex in a bathroom, stall bathroom publicly to lose their virginity. But he couldn't get an erection. But you know what? She just said she lost her virginity anyway, which I kind of like.

She was like, we're doing this. And then he couldn't get hard and she was like, fuck it. I had sex anyway. I'm just telling the world I did it. So he murders her. he murders the mother for victor says no please don't do that so then he raped her also he um the old higher phantom not phantom uh hitman vampire trick everybody knows that one that's a classic everyone. Everyone's got that in their bag. It spins out of control every time. Every time. So they get arrested.

There's footage of Gypsy Rose. She was like, I thought they weren't going to put it together. I thought they weren't going to get it. So I was just going to say I have no idea what's going on. That sucks that my mom's dead. And I thought they were going to let me go. She was like, I thought Nick was going to stick to the story, and they cut to his jail cell confessional,

and he's like, I stabbed her four times. I think the fourth time it went through her lungs because it was harder to get in and out, so on the fourth one I think I punctured her lungs. So he was just copping to the whole thing. She was trying to lie. Eventually she's like, I won't lie lie anymore i'll tell you the truth long story short he goes to jail for life she goes to jail for 10 years parole comes up after seven years which was about two three weeks ago and

she's out and she is a media sensation i saw her in central park the same day frank was for real yeah she was there she was there none of us saw her but she was there yeah people were putting two screenshots in the same place fucking walk she gained like six million followers like in like two days everybody loves her there's there's a group that's like she's kind of a murderer, but most people are like we get why. Yeah, I mean she's a very serious victim of abuse. A monster victim of abuse. Yeah, like I am full – I don't think we call that murder.

I'm full-blown Gypsy Rose Blanchard. Yeah. I call it the caravan. Jump on the Gypsy caravan. Let's go. So she's out now, got a new man. Most people don't know the whole thing about trying to fuck the corpse and raping her so a lot of people are like you're not even with the guy who murdered

your mom for you and it's like well he's a full-blown murder psychopath i was a victim of abuse the new guy i think you can imagine is a little weird uh they seem to take it they started dating while she was in prison. In prison, yeah. Not normal people do that. Not the most normal behavior. But I'll say this. Let me speak about Gypsy first.

She is very smart and incredibly well-spoken. Like very, very well put together for a girl who has gone through what she's gone through. And I think a lesser emotionally intelligent person would just be so wrecked by all this that they would just be a crazy murderer you know she is very much like here's the story here's what happened i'm trying to work through it and i'm just trying to like live a happy life afterwards and it is fucking remarkable to be honest i can't even believe that she can like relive it retell it uh I wouldn't I don't think it's the healthiest thing in the world to be like a a full-blown media sensation public facing thing right away as soon as you're out but what do I know I probably would like she probably needs to

be in therapy like every single day for the rest of her life but as far as examples go she's setting a great mom's fat and gross too yeah Yeah, she's so disgusting, dude. She's so gross. I don't know why I made it so much worse. If it was a perfect little mom, I'd have been better. That's comedy. That's comedy. That's Cat Williams right there.

What a callback. You know what she looks like? She looks like Buzz, your girlfriend, Wolf. The picture of the director's son who dressed up like a girl in Home Alone. That's what the mom looks like. She's like kind of like super pleasant and like cheery and has this high voice and is just like, yeah, you know, I can't believe this happened to me. But like here I am. The husband, I think, has got to have some mommy issues or something.

The husband? Yes, she got married. Oh, okay. She got married to the new guy. I think that also when you get parole, you need to be released to a family member. Part of me thinks that was part of what's going on there. I don't want to be released to an aunt or uncle or my dad or whatever. I just want to go to this guy. But there's videos on there. Like, I don't want to be released to, like, an aunt or uncle or my dad or whatever. Like, I just want to go

to this guy. Yeah. But they, like, there's videos of them. So they had this new documentary out on Hulu, the one you were talking about. It's called...

That's a very weird thing. Being released to... Yeah, I guess, I guess a majority of prisoners aren't victims of their family, but, like, there should be a pretty clear distinction. If you're like, well, I'm in here because of my fucking family, so don't release me to my fucking family. But like there should be a pretty clear distinction.

If you're like, well, I'm in here because of my fucking family. So don't really speak to my fucking family. Right, right, right, right. That's a great point. They also – she got like kicked out of the state of Missouri. She got – her marriage license is in Missouri. She did time in Missouri and then got out. And there was this headline that she was like, I'm going to the Chiefs game on Sunday with my husband.

She was like, I love Taylor Swift. I listened to her in prison. I love to meet her. And it turned into like, Gypsy Rose is trying to meet Taylor Swift when she was just like, I would love to run into Taylor at the Chiefs game. So it became this headline

and then all of a sudden, the state ordered her to get out of Missouri and go back to Louisiana, which I guess is where she was originally from when she committed the crime. I feel like when you're out of prison, should probably be able to i guess you can't cross that's some wild west shit that's some stuff that's probably yeah get the fuck out of here get out of here yeah i don't want to see you around these parts right uh the new guy they're so

they're doing like all this press run for this documentary she's it's the first documentary she's like in and doing jail jail interviews and then out of jail interviews. And they're doing like newlywed game questions. What's your nickname for him? How does she take his coffee? What's their favorite? What's their celebrity crush? And they're just like this goofy couple.

And it's like I'm sure they're mentally whacked. But I don't know. They seem – She said – I think the exact quote, she's getting good dick every night. Yeah, so people... She said that? So people are making fun of the husband. They're saying he's ugly. Which, I said,

listen, you think Gypsy Rose Blanchard is out here looking for one of those mean girls, 666 guys? I think Gypsy Rose's qualifications are like, you have to have six figures and six feet, and you have to be hot with a chiseled jaw. I think she just wants someone who fucking loves her and doesn't torture her. When you cook me dinner, don't lace it with a numbing agent.

Exactly. Perfect. So she finds this guy. She falls in love with him. The internet starts crushing him for not being good-looking enough. I will say, he is not great-looking, and he dyed his hair like Eminem at one point, and it's just a disaster of a situation. But she posted, like, fuck the haters.

Don't listen to them, honey. You're in love with me. I'm in love with you. Like, us against the world. And, oh, yeah, the D is fire. And they're just happy that you're rocking my world every night. And then he wrote back being like, yeah, like, fuck yeah, girl. Like, I'm coming home to hang you right now. Bro, I got a new thing oh boy i just i don't know i mean like

if you meet a if i could find a woman who went into jail at a young age and had no access to pornography guess what great thing your experience with penis is like the only thing you find in medical journals in the jail library. Well – You can be like, this guy's got a fucking great dick. Okay. It's funny you say that. Not funny, but interesting you say that because one part of the documentary is she says, I had never had any experience with a male penis except for when my grandfather molested me.

So she saw that penis. Yeah. Well, yeah. So her – so John – Comparatively speaking, I'm really coming out pretty good. I was going to say, to clarify what John said, he wants to meet someone who's only been molested by their grandfather. Then his dick is great. That was crazy.

The grandfather is in the documentary. And in the beginning, he's talking very like, he's kind of like, yeah, we didn't know what was going on. The mom seemed very convincing. Like, she did look sick. She does have some problems. And then Gypsy Rose tells the story about getting molested. And they cut back to the interview.

And he's like, so Gypsy says that you molested her. And he's like, that didn't happen. and he's like so Gypsy says that you molested her and he's like that didn't happen and it's like very clearly lying it's like you're just talking about fucking molester right now I don't think anything happened from it they just like went to the next episode I went to be like what we need a new documentary

we need a new police case on this guy there's a cousin who when they reveal some of the things the mom was doing, he's like, what? No, I did not know that at all. What you just told me, I did not know that at all. It was like the worst lying you've ever seen. The whole family is fucking jacked.

But it's crazy, man. They're like – they're on the red carpet. They're on the internet everywhere. They're in like the celebrity gossip uh cycle and they kind of seem normal okay do you man go ahead now i'm sure this ends in tragedy somehow i don't know i'm sure this ends you know with more bloodshed or or trauma of some sort but i'm i'm hoping it doesn't uh i'm officially gypsy rose you are welcome to come on the program if you'd like to um i wish we got invited to the fucking premiere like all of like the the girl podcast not skinny but not fat was there and girl no job and all that

they were at the premiere and they all grabbed her for like a quick like ati sort of thing like quick questions and she's doing them like she's doing a press tour it's fucking crazy it's like oh what do you got a new special a new book well you know it's this whole story about my mom fucking torturing me and then i murdered her and now i'm getting dick from this guy i met in prison absolutely nuts but hey it's the definition of just like let people live let them do their thing she's also like a cute girl like she's like yeah's surprisingly really pretty. Well, I mean, she has great hair.

Yes, great hair. Honestly, great hair. She used to have a lazy eye. I think she kind of fixed that. I think that she was dressed very nicely, like whoever's doing her work now, dressing her, like her publicist work. If she went to your Dr. Jackie and fixed that nose,

she would be kind of pretty. Kind of pretty. She's a perfect little pretty girl. She's a perfect little munch-housing victim. Perfect little pretty munch-housing victim. We've got to fix the teeth.

You can't have the teeth full of metal, although I think it kind of plays like everyone sees the teeth and they remember. Yeah, yeah. Like, oh wow, you got your whole mouth ripped out. Oh, God. It's fucking, it's so fucked up, man. I mean, it's a genuinely hard watch, and I hate to be like, do like the parent thing,

but I'm just thinking like, if I ever, the dad was like not really in the picture and like didn't really know what was going on, but like if I ever found this out, I would for sure stab. I would be be in jail like i'll murder her i'll fucking kill her for you don't worry it's fucking absolutely crazy and i hate that they got they they they portrayed as like munchausen syndrome munchausen my proxy is like a disease you know but it's like i don't know no that girl suffered not you weren't suffering from munchausen

you're a fucking sick asshole yeah you know what i mean and i don't know. No, that girl suffered. You weren't suffering from Munchausen. You're a fucking sick asshole. You know what I mean? And I don't think many people have sympathy for her. Oh, this is brutal. They tried to do an interview with her where they gave her all the slang words from the years she was in prison. Brutal, brutal job.

I'm sure she didn't know any of it. She didn't. And that was kind of the joke, but the fucking interviewer doesn't really know him know any of it. She didn't. And that was kind of the joke, but the fucking interviewer doesn't really know him either, and it just was not good. It was... Whose idea was that?

I know. Just to be like, hey, here's all the stuff that you missed while you were in prison for this traumatic experience. Wow. That's what's weird about it, though.

Everyone is treating it like that. It's like this... You know, it's like, Gypsy Rose is here, and the people want to know like what jesus fucking christ so the documentary i think is like four episodes out um and they're doing week by week big get for lifetime big get and if you're watching it all all of the of of the advertisements are like prison wives and like I murdered him because I had to

and like they're rolling out all the classics for trying to rope everybody in. it's Jersey Jerry, Joe Coy, Gypsy Rose, Cat Williams. It's those of the... Jeffrey Epstein. Jeffrey Epstein. The

Stephen Hawking shit is just, bro. It's unbelievable. So good. Like, that's another one where it's kind of fucked up that we just memed this whole thing. And it's all one big joke because there are some, like, just seriously horrific victims in this situation but god damn that steven hawking shit is so funny like if you had if you had to script it if you had to make a joke and be like who's on who would be the funniest fucking person on the list like wouldn't it be funny if steven hawking was on there and he loved midgets get the fuck out but the midgets part's not real i thought i i don't know you took

i thought that the whole all the details i think the midgets thing is in the is in the document not the whole like he like he uh watched them oh right on a chalkboard rubik's cube solver was that that i i don't know yeah so there's well. I know for a fact this one's not true. That one's not true. So the rumors going around is that Hawking likes to watch... Well, it's not a rumor. It's a lie that was made up. He liked to watch midgets

undress and write on chalkboards that were just set a little too high for them. When I read that... I mean, I'll believe anything i will believe anything about epstein so i was like holy shit but i do think the midgets thing is i want to say that was like in the document that like he would watch little people but i that that also seems like maybe flying the person who tweeted the document was like offended people ended up

taking it seriously where he was people like he was, I thought, yeah, this is pretty clear. I made this up. That's not the one that's like 900 pages, though. Or is that fake? No, no. Someone tweeted this excerpt of the document. He's like, yeah, no. It was like PFT with the athletics stuff. I was fucking joking, guys. That was pretty clear here.

It did say he liked to watch orgies or some shit like that. I mean, yeah, what else is he going to fucking do? Of say he liked to watch like orgies or some shit like that i mean yeah what else is he gonna fucking do right of course you like to watch them uh the epstein stuff epstein i just like drop it or don't like i don't need but it's dropped but do we have like a list i don't this is what this is what i don't want i don't need a 900 page a court document i just want a list this is what i this is my point exactly. And you're going to, you're going to catch a stray. I was going to say you're going to catch a stray,

but no, this isn't even a stray. The Venn diagram of Epstein people and alien people is like this. Because it's like, it's like,

give it to us, give it to us. It's like here. And they're like, well, not like that. It's like, like,

but, but, well, when, when, well, it was like, like three years

what's been hyped up as a list then becomes a 900-page document. But they put out 170 names and then like – so now what? Also, there's names that were like mentioned. Like if you're just mentioned in the document, you're put on the list. But there are names that it was like, no, he was not there. And it's like, well, fuck that. Yeah.

So I want to know like who was doing fucked up shit and who wasn't. I don't think that's that crazy. Yeah, but I think they're like, here told you read it i i don't know i think that's kind of i think that is insane to expect people to read a 900 page document and i think but people who have been asking for for a long time you would like like i would think that like journalists would write an article and be like here are the people you need to know do fucked up things but like like dante had that same thing was like here's what like journalists need to find out or whatever it's like dante you work for one of the biggest media companies in the world

wait what who do you want to do it yeah i mean do it dante should be the one doing it absolutely the fact that he's not i'm not gonna do it but i want to know like yeah prince andrew's on the list but even that being like i'm not gonna do it like well yeah that's there i don't yeah listen do you do i care enough to do that no but i would like to know if bill clinton fucking is uh you know doing shit i don't think i don't think that's that crazy i i think it's crazy that people because it was like everyone everyone who wanted it so bad when it came out was like ah it's a dud yeah and it's like well it's out i don't like what did you want that's what there it is did did clinton do was he like he's dough he's dough 36 well, it's out. I don't know. What did you want? That's what it is. There it is. Did Clinton do – was he like – He's Doe 36 or something.

That's what they're claiming that he is and it's on. So that's what I mean. No, this is what I mean. Were you like – you wanted this for so long. I didn't really – I mean I think you're painting me as like a – No, I'm putting – you're more the alien guy. Yeah. But like it's out.

And then everyone is like, ah, it's a dud. Well, that's what I say about the aliens. We spent two years on this well that's been my point about aliens is that when they give you the people love the mystery and everyone moves the goalpost

people just want someone to yell about the goalpost gets moved now do this here's the fucking thing I'm interested in the aliens I think the alien conspiracy theorists are they like the Now it's like, here's the fucking thing. Yeah. Now, I'm interested in the aliens. I think the alien conspiracy theorists are – they like the conspiracy of it all because, like you said, it's like you can just go read all of – although those are heavily redacted too, but that's a different point. You can read everything you need to know about it.

But so I guess – but this is what I'm talking about. Like, so if all of them are listed as John Doe, then it's not really – they didn't expose him. No, but there are some redacted answers. There's like 107 – Leonardo DiCaprio is on the list. What are you going to do about it? Like, everyone who wanted this list out so bad, now what? It's out? And he's on the list. He's in the – this is what I mean though. Is he in the document as like a – I don't know what you call it.

No, no. An accuser or a – No, he was just someone that Epstein mentioned and – but people said Epstein liked to brag about how he knew celebrities. So like – but this is the list you guys – people wanted. So now what? What's the next step? I think finding out who molested children and who didn't. But it's all in there. so like but this is the list you guys what people wanted so now what what's the next step i think finding out who molested children and who didn't that was but it's it's all that would be my but

it's in there i just told you leo wasn't one of them because it's in there so i think a list of who is on who is in this document and molested children should be out but like it's out this is my point it's out then i think uh like a journalist who has been talking about this for many years should probably put together the definitive article on people who were mentioned, who flew on the plane and didn't do anything, and the people who we know molested children. I don't think that's a crazy ask. But I think everyone's like, it's a dud. Well, it's not because it doesn't say what you wanted it to say it's a dud. I think probably because it's very convoluted as to who's a rapist and who's not. I bet if you read the 900 pages, it's pretty clear.

Yeah, but I think asking people – But it seems like no one wants to do that. Yeah, yeah, but I don't think that's that crazy. So why do we spend years yelling about this stuff? Because – that's anything. Every story or every court case is going to have like 1,000 pages of court docs. And then you boil it down and usually people write an article about it or you know court doc uh court journalists or whatever you want to call it like summarize it

for people so they know who's a rapist and who's not yeah but it seems like like once it's been summarized you're like ah it's a dud like it's not a dud it just doesn't say what you didn't want what you wanted to say it seems yeah i mean i guess if it's hyped up as like you know the people you voted for and the people you love and know are rapists and then it comes out that it's not, people will characterize that as a dud. Which is like if you looked at it realistically is probably what it was the whole time, that rich people hung out with a rich guy and weren't raping kids, but he was. Right. Now, if John Doe 36 is listed as like fucking kids and then somehow we link that John Doe 36 is clinton i think that's a bigger story poor david copperfield he was not on anybody's list and then all of a sudden david copperfield is is getting just fucking dragged that sucks that could you imagine if you were

if you did go on the lolita express all the time, and just were not getting mentioned. And the whole time you're like, oh my God, I'm just skating by. No one's mentioned me once. And then, you know, go time, and it's David Copperfield. I can't even believe David Copperfield was, I don't know, a big enough fucking name to roll with some of these people. All these other people make sense.

David Copperfield? Who the fuck are you? The fact that right after this dropped, we went right back to Aliens was when I was like, okay. It's the same thing. Now people... Aliens are in Miami now. FC lists the Dutch.

We got Aliens again, guys. The Aliens in Miami was one of my favorite things ever. They were like, well then, what was it? And they're like, it was Four Teens with Fireworks. And I'm like, no. no no i will say sending uh uh even if that you thought there was an active shooter having just a traffic jam of 100 cop cars does not seem like a great way to respond i would get well i guess when we're in there right i don't know i don't know i don't know what happened in that in that scenario like yeah like but like if you're you know if you're the 100th cop car parked down the 305 or whatever the fuck it's called down there, I don't know what you do.

But that does not look like – It's insane. Four kids. I love – it was with fireworks and sticks. They were just whacking each other with fucking sticks. Yeah, that's sick and then and then the one the one video of it's just like i don't know i think a person walking but it's just grainy so it looks like a little bit like bigger than a normal human because it's fuzzy like that's

that's the 10 foot alien although somebody did dm me being like um being like uh i have a friend who is like at the mall and like swears and shit. I was like legitimate. You have like a friend, like a guy that I talked to, he was like legitimately saying I have a friend who was like, some weird went down at that mall, man. I was there.

And then the videos that they put out of the alleged alien that, like the internet has to just... The Doctor Strange appearing in the middle The videos that they put out of the alleged alien. That – like the internet has to – The Doctor Strange appearing in the middle of the mall? I didn't see that. Well, no. It was just like an orb.

It looked like one of those like circles opening. I'm talking about that one on the right there. It's like – like come on. It's just – the internet has not gotten any better at being like – I have to be like, okay, that's fake. You know what I mean? Like that's a fake video. I like asking my non-Twitter friends about stuff. Like stories that I'm so absorbed.

I'm like, you hear about these aliens in Miami that have no – Nothing. Oh, so that's fake. It's like, can you shut up and fuck a girl? All right. Let's get into voicemails. Quick medical inquiry to the crew. I was in the hospital four days.

I had diverticulitis. I actually had a perforation inside of my colon here in my belly. I'm all good now. Surgery scheduled, all this stuff. Should be fine. Should be in the clear. But it got me thinking. So that happened early last month, the last 30 days.

It got me thinking that what's a worse thing that can happen to somebody let's just say from the ages of 20 to 30 20 to 40 i turned 34 and i got 10 days um what's worse having a colostomy bag that you have to unknowingly poop in and deal with all day or fill in the fucking blank i don't think there's anything worse than that i can't think of anything worse than that whatever happens to you in this hypothetical you cannot die can't lose your head you can't lose your heart you can lose both legs you can lose one leg one hand one finger one arm it doesn't matter i don't think anything is as bad as still going out with your friends,

like got my girlfriend, got a good job. I work outside. I interact with people, all this stuff. But like having a poop bag on my hip? All right. I'll pose the question to Jackie since she has a deep, deep fear of losing her leg. Would you rather lose a leg or have a colostomy bag? Colostomy bag.

Wow. That's crazy. Like anything over losing a leg. Well, a colostomy bag's sick, right? No. I would say no. I would vote having a Colossi bag is not sick. I think it's pretty not cool.

I would say definitively not cool to have a bag of shit strapped to you at all times. Bro, I have a bag of shit strapped to me for like 10 seconds. I could throw the shit away. If I could dump right here. a dream folks what are you talking about i mean you're talking about the the literal like uh how it changes your your poop life i guess yeah but i can only take shits at home you know how much this frees me up i think this changes my whole fucking life is it a constant um like just like no i think you take a dumpy you push and it just goes into the bag instead i don't think so i think it's kind of like a catheter where it's just like fills up slowly all right that's a little worse they put an asshole in your stomach they put an asshole in your stomach that collects

connects to your your large intestine and then the bag just you don't decide when it goes and when it doesn't i do not think so it's just a never-ending fuse just like yeah like like you eat some food it turns into waste it drops in so then your bag is like a tenth full well okay well now you never have to feel like you have to shit. That's true. I mean, I don't know why you're – I admire you standing for Colossi bags right now. I love the spin zones. You're talking about moving goalposts? Okay.

I don't know why we can't just say that Colossi bags are bad. I mean, I'm not honestly fighting for Colossi bags. They're obviously bad. But, like, if I could, like, if I could temporarily have a Colossi bag, there are times I'd be like, I'm going to take my Colossi bag to the game today. Yeah, I mean, I guess, like, if you're faced with, like, you have to shit in a porta potty. Yeah, dude, if I'm going to be eating fucking brats and drinking beers in a parking lot, I'm bringing my Colossi bag. Imagine you have a bag and you reach in and grab your Colossi bag and you're just like, hang on, guys. Like, you just screw it on and you're good. Yeah in and grab your Colossio bag. You're just like, hang on, guys. You just screw it on and you're good. Yeah, long drive, Colossio bag.

Remember that guy who wore the diapers to go stalk that girl? Remember that guy? I thought it was a woman. Yeah, a woman who stalked the guy. An astronaut. She just wore diapers and shit herself while she drove cross-country. That is the craziest girl of all time. I do want to pinpoint her as the craziest girlfriend situation of all time.

Not even the murderers. It's the girl put on the diaper to drive cross-country to stalk her boyfriend uh i would say i know what he's taught like i think he's talking more about like socially yeah like i would argue uh you know probably dying like slowly and painfully of of other diseases is worse right than like having an embarrassing bag on your hip but socially speaking i would probably a leg is tough because you can't walk anymore i'd probably uh rather have one arm one hand than a colostomy bag oh i don't know i think i think i'm good with keeping all my limbs all your limbs yeah yeah i i think i guess you probably just hide it. Runny nose is really bad. Again, a runny nose is just a shit bag on your face without a bag. I just got to keep wiping, cleaning myself up. We all kind of have colostomy bags.

It's just called a nose. So Jackie's taking her col her classy bag over her leg yeah socially i lost hearing in my ear the other day that wasn't great is it back oh yeah fine now okay it turns out we didn't super dramatic um turned out i didn't puncture my ear it did last 48 hours i couldn't't sleep on that side. I don't know. I irritated somebody. You probably did hit it. Yeah, just didn't rupture it.

That was tough. Colossi bag is worse than that one. I would say colossi bag, socially speaking, is the worst of all medical fates. But colossi bag, too, though, is like... Nah, never mind. I was going to say that's one of those things where if you can keep it hidden well enough, like... I'm sure they... Listen, I'm sure

people who deal with this put it around their waist, wear the right clothes, are very discreet about it... And never have sex. I'm sure you have a patch that you put over it when you're like... I don't know, because you probably can't risk that. It's like you never know if your body is going to just push some poop out.

Yeah, there's like – You can't control your large intestine. I'm pretty much like if you get me to a second location, I'm down for whatever you want to do. Yeah. If you strip to the birthday suit and you got a glossy bag, I – All right. What if you strip to the birthday suit and there's like glossy bag? Alright, what if you strip to the birthday suit and there's an asshole on her waist? On her stomach? Do you fuck it?

I guess we have to ask Kat Timp how she did this. What? She had one. She's fine now. She showed us the scar. Oh, yeah. I guess that was a temporary thing yeah yeah yeah it's gonna be temporary for him i don't i think some people if you get your your like if you remove it for i think this this sounds like temporary yeah but but i think there are people

who like have it permanently that's yeah i think kat said she met her her husband while yes yes man guys will just fuck any hot girl. They'll look past anything. I mean, I've had sex in a port-a-potty before, so basically the same thing. All right, next up. KFC fights Jackie Supp. Rest of the crew, first time, long time. So quick question here. Just found out that my 15-year high school reunion is happening tomorrow.

First of all, who the fuck has a 15-year reunion? And secondly, who has any kind of reunion at all in January? But really, the kind of situation here is that they're having it at the local bowling center in my town. Hell yeah! Now, I've been a bowler since I was six years old. I'm a 220 average now, and my question, I guess, is I don't really necessarily care to talk to any of these people anymore. The ones that I do talk to, obviously, still know this is what I've always been doing. Do I go to this and stunt on some of these random people with a skill that

nobody cares about? Or do I just go hang out at the bar that I just generally hang out at every weekend? Or do I just avoid this whole situation entirely? Also, have you guys ever ran into a situation where you're just in your fucking bowling uniform with your wrist guard, blowing on your fingers, roll a fucking 290 on these assholes?

Just have a night and be like, you're in – this is my house. I think this 1,000% plays. Yeah. I think you'll be the belle of the ball. Yeah. If you were going to like some – this is so funny. I can't think of the word. Like intelligence gathering contest.

And you were like – Intelligence gathering. And you were the smartest guy in the room. Yeah. A bowler is like a – Like you said, it's like a niche skill. Like niche skills are fucking – everyone loves niche. If you were at an intelligence gathering, competition gathering, and you were the smartest guy there, people would hate you.

You roll into the bowling lanes and you're like, what's up, dude? I haven't seen you in 15 years. Watch this. Bam. I think you'll be the fucking man yeah i i think also i think like i think he said 15 year anniversary or reunion i don't think i think people do that i think it's a fun idea to have it like a bowling alley i think like everything he was kind of against i think i'm for i think i think these things are funner than you realize they're as fun as you make them and doing something like bowling where it's

like we're not taking it seriously but all of a sudden somebody is. I don't think you should be screaming and yelling when you don't pick up the spare or something like that. But just go up there. You guys can't do this? Yeah. Just chit chat. How's the kids? Oh my god. Real quick. One second. Boom. Strike.

I think that would be awesome uh i say go to it be super serious but in like a funny way yeah that'd be amazing i don't think i have any any i can't even think of something where i'd be like oh i'm going to the party tonight oh they decided to make it my my. I don't have a single guitar. I definitely do not. This is like – this is – it's the difference in a guy who brings a guitar somewhere and a guy who shows up and there happens a piano and he's like, I guess I might as well tickle the keys a bit. Yes. Where you're like, yeah, I don't know.

It's here. You picked it. Yeah. I didn't – if I was planning it, I'd be an ass. Right. If you were the party planner and were like, oh, how about a bowling alley? What about that? Isn't that a crazy idea?

Like that's, yeah. That'd be like if you were the smartest guy in the class. It's 12 o'clock. It's 12 o'clock. Oh, shit. Hey, KFC Fights, rest of the year. What would you rather for you? So would you rather that every time you're eating a chick out, it just tastes terrible,

but you enjoy doing it, so you keep going down. Like, tastes awfully cottage cheese terrible. Or every time you're fucking a chick, it smells like the dirtiest swamp ass you've ever smelt in your life. Jesus Christ. This is some 2013 shit. We used to answer some vile questions, dude. Vile shit. It's cottage cheese, right?

Wait. I want the smell. No, that's the other one. That's not what I want. You want to eat your mouth on it? Cottage cheese is healthy. Oh. Look, I don't go out of my way to eat cottage cheese, but I find cottage cheese palatable. I do not find that aroma palatable.

Wait, so there's no – he said there's no smell, but it's like there's like chunky stuff. You're having fun at least. And so like I've eaten things i don't really like but it's fine i can you're good yeah yeah just talking about on barcelona radio seven deadly sins feidelberg suffers from gluttony so yeah he'd eat cottage cheese pussy the like a stink it was stink can ruin but i don't understand the problem is it's it problem is it's too fictional because if I think a pussy that is like that, it smells. Yes. So like I can't separate those two. I guess – yeah, if you told me that there's some world –

I'm also a texture guy. The taste, I can lick the taste of anything. I can't chew it. Right. So I can't – You don't have to chew the pussy you have to eat the pussy but i chew the pussy the it it's uh it's it's honestly it's a pretty easy one for me it's the kind of shit i can't deal with stinky smells stinky smells are gross cottage cheese is not

great but again we're operating in a fictional world where the cottage cheese makes it – it still smells good. Yeah, he's like, you're having fun. It's good. Like, if I'm having fun, I'm good. Fine. Well, that – but that ruins the whole – yeah. If I'm having fun, then I'm having fun. Yeah.

So the thing should be like you dislike both of them. True. Because it's like – it stinks when you're fucking her, but you're having fun. Well, then who cares? Good point. But if you're – if you are having sex with someone in a doggy style position and it is just – Are you speaking from experience? No, but that's what I'm picturing here is like it's just every time you hit it, it's like a – I think someone here told us about that once about having sex with somebody who had a yeast infection and was like –

I'm pretty sure I know who it was, but I don't want to name names because they're not a super on-camera person. And I was like, I can't imagine that. They're like, you just got a grin and bear. I'm like, no, you don't. No, you don't, bro. They're like, you just got to grin and bear it. I'm like, no, you don't. No, you don't, bro. Oh, my God, you don't. But I guess now we're following the Colossi bag. Kind of, you do.

It's kind of rude. No. Jackie, correct me if I'm wrong. I feel like this is a lot of times. I feel like on the girl to know when you're open for business and when you're close for business. Yeah. It could just be like i don't know make a ball to be like i'm on my period like super on my period and i don't want

to yeah like or just yeah like because it could be your period it could be a the girl infection a uti it could just be like to say no i haven't showered i had a bed i you know my my my ph is off i don't know what there's a million the pussy is a very dynamic body part that has a lot of different things going on. And like we don't – you don't know until it's too late. But it's like I don't know. We could have just not had sex tonight or like I don't know. Yeah, I was cool to watch a movie. Totally.

Totally. I think that – I thought the room smelled a little funny. I thought I had to throw the garbage. I'm literally like – this to me is – I've never experienced anything like this. No bad smells? Never. Yeah, I had a not smelling great one.

I don't think – I think – I would hope that most girls – I feel like every girl should know that that's at least a possibility that your pussy could be problematic. Why? Why? Yeah. Like you asked about like the chemistry of it? I'm kind of asking about basic sex education. Like the pH balance they talk about?

Got to get that like Summer's Eve shit up in there. I don't know, man. Like again, this is something where again I've never experienced it and I've also – It's like you know to put on deodorant in the morning because your armpits are going to smell. I forget to do them all the time. Yeah. I was going to say. I actually –

I'm talking to the wrong guy. I have been in a woman's shower in college who had summer's eve. Yeah. And I was like – That's that good shit. See, I had the exact opposite reaction. You're disgusting. Where I was like –

You probably want some musk down. No. I will – Yeah. But the – What did I say once? a little salt on the mugger yeah see i am i am all good with a very well-kept but like but this summer's eve what it did was it made my brain go why do you need that like what's wrong but it's not what's wrong it's just like what's natural but i never see it anymore i don't see i've showered in many women's showers wrong but it's not what's wrong it's just like what's natural but i never see it anymore

like i don't see i've showered in many women's showers i mean it's not a regular thing i see so when i see it my brain's like why do you need that but i guess like it'd be the same thing if a girl was like i wear deodorant because i like yeah you just like it's just soap it's just like you just yeah like i just it's so for your pussy it's it's like so every girl having face wash so every girl who's showered or been in they just don't keep it in the shower could be i'm sure some girls are a little bit do you see in the showers a lot no well it's also like you're supposed to use like baby soap like summer's eve kind of like can like you it's not supposed to be fragranced sure when i say

summer's eve i mean yeah yeah something to take care of your yeah of your vagina and i'm sure there are girls out there who are like perfectly balanced with their diet and whatever else that happens and they don't need it. But I don't think it's like, oh, you're gross if you need – all I'm saying, the best I've ever had on multiple occasions, there was always something like in the shower that I was like, OK, you're doing it. I've never – what is the percentage of women who use it regularly? That I don't know. All I know is the ones that I know that use it, I'm always like, yup, that was the best. So whether it's – again, I don't – it might not be you see this in the shower because like you said, maybe it's baby shampoo. Maybe it's – there's a certain soap, whatever, like that works for them or whatever. So maybe you're not even realizing it.

Maybe there are girls that you just don't need it or maybe you just like stinky, smelly ones and you're just good with it. I don't know. We know I have a bad smell. I've never once in my life been like, what the fuck is going on here? That's a – I think that's probably a testament to i don't know i think you're probably a drunk oblivious idiot that's what i think because i was about to say it's a testament to like the girls that you've chosen to have sex with but i'm pretty sure you were putting up numbies at some point that maybe you were not picking the

classiest or the i i usually i like like i was never the type of guy to go out and be like, like I'll wait until the lights come on and I'll just take anything home. Like usually if I was sleeping with somebody, I could probably bet you they're just well – their hygiene is good. Yeah, I got a pretty good eye for it. But I think if you think about the rest of America, bro, like you just think about regular people, regular folks out there. It's probably not great. Yeah. And I like to think that no one's ever had a problem with me.

I like to think that no one's ever been like, this guy fucking stinks. Well, Jackie, I feel like guys, you know, naturally smell like – like if a girl smells bad, it's kind of like out of character. Whereas if a guy smells bad, that's not a good thing. But girls are like, oh, guys stink. Or guys – you know what I mean? Like a guy can be hairy. A guy can stink. A guy can be dumb.

A guy can be – What is wrong with women? I know. It's crazy. Bro, they let us get away with it. Dude, did you see that clip from Stuff Island? I'm actually wearing my Stuff Island sweatshirt today. Tommy and Chris talking about if their girlfriends act like them. Yeah.

It's so funny. See, you can pull up the Twitter. If the girls were to act like the guys? If their girlfriends acted like them. Like – Okay. We got to get these guys back in. It's been a while.

It's been a while. I feel like, like unfortunately in this business when you become actual friends with people you see them less professionally that sucks even if they're not on your ass there's something but if the roles were reversed

I would love it if I had a full time job and I came out like baby what are you doing another wine you got shit to do tomorrow If I had a full-time job and I came out like, baby, what are you doing? Another wine? Yeah. Jesus Christ. Don't you got shit to do tomorrow?

If I woke up and my girlfriend was by herself fucking hitting whiskey, I would be like, are you out of your fucking mind? She's got an old piece of pizza on her one knee with no napkin. She's just dipping plenty of of pizza on her one knee with no napkin. She's just dipping playing video games. Love, baby. Then you catch her, like, dabbling yourself. You'd be like, oh, my God!

I thought you were the sort of family with me. Kitchen jerking off on the couch. Drinking. What time is it? It's only three. It's only three. I'm season four, episode 13 of Sopranos. What is the problem?

You gotta stop, dude. Great. I'd be like, oh my god. Are you out of your fucking mind? That was a real coming. I've had a million of those. I'm just being normal This isn't normal Oh man

That's fucking great I would just say this is all One big PSA for Keep your kitty in good shape Maybe it happens naturally Speaking of pieces I'm big into oils now for the girls. Ooh.

Yep. That's a big thing now. Wait. We're kind of like where? Body oils? Are you putting oil on your vagina, Jackie? Yeah. Oh.

I'm putting oil on my body. Just started today. Jackie and Final Bird continue. Saga continues. Smell you? I smell amazing You do smell Yeah

Smell Wait Bro But I'll say this You like You put a lot on? Cause you have a I mean I can smell that

Yeah It was Oh that's so good dude What is it? It's a Sesame seed Body oil That you put on

Cause here's the deal I hate I know you're supposed to put lotion on and stuff like that and I hate it. I hate getting dry and then lubing up again. That infuriates me. It's so nonsensical. I tried a lotion you put on while you're wet. Well, that's what this body lotion is.

OK. So you put it – so I put it in the shower next to my magazine. OK. And I fucking – I turn the shower off, l magazine and I fucking I want to turn a shower off lube up. But it's like clear oil. Yes. So this is like mine is like yellow white lotion. No no no it's an oil.

It's actually not totally clear it's a little yellowy but like it's an oil. But I I feel like I need to like I feel like I have soap on me. No. It's so much better than lotion. I'm like legitimately like frank in that like always sunny thing where it's like i have soap on no i'm it's so much better than lotion i i'm like legitimately like frank in that like always sunny thing where it's like i put oil on my whole like after shower whole body i put it on my face i put on my eyelashes i put it like i talked about the

vagina oil i put it are you like rubbing on your shoulders and shit like yeah like you just you have to do it everywhere i'm and i'm like by the time i'm just like i'm slick slick right there that's what i'm using hard slick i guess i'm not using a very i mean i just got on amazon it's not what is that that's that scene in uh in van wilder when when uh cal pen slides off the girl i don't believe it's cal pen but but, uh, I think it is. Is it cow pen? I think you're right. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I think you're right. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah, I'm just using like a new, are you,

is this just for you, Jackie? New year, new you like, I've just, I've been doing it. I don't know. Yeah.

Just like tick tock. We'll be like, I'll be like, yeah, tick tock. We'll be like, get your fucking crocodile skin. Like, yeah, get this lotion. You disgusting i uh i i have done the leave-in lotion and it's like i guess i do feel

uh but i don't like leave it in like i put it on and then i dry off so i'm getting dry yeah yeah and your towels are all oily you think i i guess I just started, but I did have that thought. I mean, I usually run a towel for a fucking quarter. That's what I'm saying. If you're getting like skinny, like lotion skin all over your towel, I'm like. I think I had the idea this morning when I grabbed a towel. I was like, probably two uses. Two uses and then get a new towel?

Well, then wash it. Right. Okay. Yeah. You're not going to do that. You're going to say that. I do laundry pretty often. Two uses and then get a new towel? Or you mean Well then wash it Right okay Yeah You're not going to do that You're going to say that I do laundry pretty often Because I got the laundry right there Just throw your towels in

It's pretty easy I'm not bad with laundry I'm okay with laundry I've decided that laundry I actually did laundry I was talking on the phone with you last night Laundry and dishes I was like a housewife

I was on the phone Holding clothes You're gossiping and chit chatting I can't understand So I'm on there phone, holding clothes. You're gossiping and chit-chatting. I can't understand why – I think it's a racket that particularly with dishes, maybe I can't – I don't really know enough about laundry. But like the fact that a dishwasher needs to run for like three hours and a laundry machine – a washing machine needs to run for like an hour or two it's like unless i like rolled around in the dirt i don't think that really is necessary probably put in some hot water and swish it around it's probably good and the dishes i know for a fact because i hit that with the fucking faucet and like rub it with the the

sponge and it's good in like 10 seconds so what's up with this three hour cycle i'll put the dish wash on sometimes before i come to the office i'll be back for it done i know you've worked harder than me today right that's crazy my fucking dishwasher put in more hours than i just watched longer than our podcast if your dishwasher is longer than your podcast runtime that's either your podcast stinks or the dishwasher is fucking i learned though if you do a quick a quick rinse it actually uses like more energy and more water because it's like get it done, get it done, get it done. For laundry? Yeah.

I've been doing quick 30 for like a year now. I think that's actually worse for like your bill. What's up? Killing the environment. Killing the environment. I saw a commercial once. I love just latched on to one thing. I saw a commercial once for like Dawn or some – I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. like dawn or some i don't know yeah whatever and it was like if you wash two dishes it's more water than your washing machine uses and i was like oh i'm never washing the dish again i don't even do that thing in the same i don't think this when you think about how i guess if you let it run the whole time but like i don't know i i like to find one thing to explain my lazy behavior right well i'm done told me got to save the dogs. Yeah, yeah. That's another one, the laundry detergent. Like some of them is like you need to use a sprinkle and some of them is like you need to pour a whole fucking cap full in. Well, one of you is stealing my money.

One of you motherfuckers is stealing from me. I just don't know who's who. So I guess I got to start – we got to start moisturizing. We can't be the fucking scaly, ashy ones on the crew, guys. I got – I don't know if I want oil. I'm an oil guy. Are you putting oil on your dick? No.

So you're like – like your junk is like slicked up. I mean not – I mean you can feel me. I'm dry. Like when you put it on. Yeah, but it really doesn't last that long because I don't like that feeling. That's why I transitioned to the oil. How much – okay, you're about to do your arm, okay? Uh-huh.

Put a dime size and rub it on your whole arm? Oh, it comes out a lot faster. I would venture to get – You're basically lubing your body. This is like lube. Because I also don't like the process of lotion and how hard it is to rub. So I get – that thing, it's oil. It comes out pretty quick.

So I'm just like – Okay. But when you do your dick and your balls – Yeah, I masturbate. No. Like I'm just saying when you start walking, is it like – No. Not at all.

Because that would be like – I'll walk around the house naked for a good while. I get so many letters from my neighbors being like, please get blinds. All right. I guess I have to start oiling up my body. I have this one weird spot on my knuckle. I have this one knuckle that gets incredibly dry skin. I have no idea why.

So I got to keep putting that on. And then I have a spot right on my knee. I don't know about the knuckle, but the knee, I couldn't figure out. It was like dry and no hair there or whatever. And it's my driving knee. Really? Figured it out today. I was turning and it's right where I put the steering wheel on my knee.

I think it's just constantly rubbing on my knee and it like rubbed out all of the hair and the skin and all that shit. It's like, I'm not driving knees. Getting dry. While we're on like new health habits, as you guys might have found out last night during our FaceTime call, I'm a gallon guy now. I'm sorry.

I'm going to be carrying a gallon of water around a lot. Yeah. Pads, we were on a Zoom, and he had a full gallon of water in the gallon. It wasn't like a Stanley that's like carries 64 ounces. It was a gallon. Meathead behavior. That was crazy. It's great.

But you were like, I just do it every Sunday. Are you doing it daily or just Sunday? I've been doing it Sundays, but now I'm like, I just feel fucking great today. Every Monday, I'm like, I just feel fucking great today. Every Monday, I'm like – I mean, it's – Watching people – growing up as a water person, watching people discover water is nuts. No, but you know what's really crazy is imagine him without water. Yeah.

Because you're still like – feel like a bag of shit, right? Yeah. Well – So imagine if you didn't have the water. That's a good point. But like – It would be bad. Yeah.

Bad, bad, bad, bad. Yeah. You're an anomaly. You always have been. You always will be. You work out a ton and you drink a lot of water, but you're also – you're like simultaneously the most unhealthy, unhealthy man in the world. It's crazy. So I don't know what – all I know is like when I chug a body armor size, I keep a body armor size of water.

When I drink that like right before bed i wake up fine normal if i don't i wake up like my eyes are dry my mouth is dry i'm like like i have dreams where i can't breathe and i wake up and i'm like oh it's because i can't breathe i put water in me like i'm in the desert i feel my mouth like rehyd. And I'm like, is this normal? I just want so badly to live a day in the life of someone else's body like my age. Because there are certain things that are starting to happen that I'm like, is this getting old? Or is this like you are getting old? I'll be honest.

Those two are crazy. I got a knee that doesn't have hair and a knuckle that gets dry. What? But that to me feels like – I actually also have a knuckle that gets dry. What? Just a single knuckle? Yes. Okay.

What is that, Jack? I don't know. I don't know. I've actually been trying to tackle that for a while now. I have that too, but I think I burnt a cigarette on it a while ago. That might be it. You're a dirtbag. I think it is.

So I've actually been trying every night. I put some on. You can see – if you touch it, it's like not – it's kind of soft. No, no, the big one. Look, yeah. Oh, no, but that's like as good as it gets. Like I have – It's noticeable.

It's like when it's bad, you would think that I'm like a boxer. You would think that I like bare knuckle box. It's crazy. That is wild. This is as soft as it gets, bro. Dry. Oh, yeah. What? I got a dry one too. You got a dry knuckle box it's crazy that is that is wild this is as soft as it gets bro dry that's good for you that he has one because i i well once you start individualizing uh limbs and digits that's like that's some old shit we're like i got a bad right yeah well

that's what i'm saying is i'm hoping i almost hope that's old well he's got it right he's young but he's dirtbag yeah so that's kind of his dirtbag behavior mine might just be maybe i'm a dirtbag too or maybe everyone who's pushing 40 is like this the uh i really feel more mortality these days you you saying hygiene cute something else one more last thing uh this when i went hunting with sydney uh i i just first of all my mom got me a a uh dob kit for christmas that is do you know what a dob kit is is it is it this yeah yeah that is preposterous. That was the thing. When I first heard that, I had never heard the term dop kit. It's very – it's actually Frank Clegg, which is a – it's a nice leather company, but it's from Fall River, which is where I'm from.

And I sent her a picture when I got to my destination where I was like, you're going to have to size down for me because this thing is – That is a suitcase. It is nuts, dude dude it's insane and it's taking up half of your actual suitcase yeah i was like i was going it looks like a leather like it was like that would that could that could be a carry-on bag like it was and i i called her i was like i was like if i was going anywhere but where i'm going and like need sweatpants, I couldn't travel. It's half a – one quarter of my suitcase is my toothbrush and my toothpaste. I mean I guess do some people – maybe this is like – it looks like it's masculine.

But like girls would need this, like travel. I have my pills in there and I have my fucking – I have like moisturizer and shit like that. OK. It's like four or five things. Yeah. It's like – But the – so despite the size of this thing, we get to the hunting lodge probably 9 o'clock Friday night and I go to brush my teeth. No toothbrush. Now I'm like, fuck.

I don't toothbrush. I can go at night, whatever oh it's all good thursday morning comes around we just go hunt didn't toothbrush teeth but the reason i didn't bring this up i didn't want i didn't want to wake someone up and ask them are there any toothbrushes in the lodge anything like that but we had plans to go into town it's like i'll grab one i was like i'll just grab one then yeah i won't make a thing of it totally no i have to know that i probably would have done last night yeah whatever we get back from the hunt and they go we're actually not going to town today so now i've missed two toothbrushes and now you're disgusting now i can't bring it up because now you're grown now i'm fucking an animal well that was in that moment you had to have said oh wait i thought we were going to town

today i i gotta get a toothbrush yes once you miss that then you're an animal yeah now you should be getting hunted yeah so i just never brought up and then brush my teeth for two days you did that in italy with deodorant but you don't smell so yeah deodorant's a different animal if you don't brush your teeth for two days I did the fucking finger thing like you do yeah that doesn't do shit

but it makes your mouth feel better you get the minty taste but it doesn't get like the gunk you know like the grime out yeah so like so like then I go into bed

that night and I was like I don't know and I know we've talked about it before we're like I'll grab someone's toothbrush I'll grab someone's toothbrush who I know

I don't know anyone there I would rock the strangers for sure there was a moment where I was like staring at it and I was like I can't fucking do this I can't just grab someone's it's a bar of soap I have a relationship and I'm very friendly with all of them but not

I was like I can't reach this and so I just went Wednesday night, Thursday morning, Thursday night, Friday morning, no toothbrush. Bro, that's like four days. That's a long two days, bro. Wednesday, if you hit three calendar days, bro, that's a problem. All right, fine. We're being honest.

It wasn't until Saturday. It was when I got home from the airport, but because I was in Arkansas, I had a layover, and I didn't get – Why didn't you go get a toothbrush at the airport? It really wasn't that bad. I didn't notice anything. You're disgusting. I didn't taste bad. You're disgusting.

I was – it was actually, to be completely honest, it was a lot – This guy is not going to brush his teeth anymore. I know where this is going. I know where this is going. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. I was just like – but it had switched to – it was fine. By the time I got home and brushed my teeth, it was calendar day Saturday. It was like 1 a.m. but it was like – it was calendar day Saturday.

It's a lot of hours of funk on those teeth. I mean it was technically Wednesday to Saturday. I haven't done that since I was like eight years old. Since I started brushing my teeth every day. Since then, I was like these years old you know like since I started brushing my teeth every day since then I was like these are falling out anyway it's so funny trying to get my kids

to brush their teeth like they just hate it and I'm like why what is the problem what do you they're just like I just hate it I'm like

respect it's not even that I hate it they go done like they do three scrubs they're done

bro my dad like kicked down the door once when I was in the shower to check my toothbrush I was like what the fuck is wrong with you yeah you're like it's all they're all dry yeah i was like yeah because i didn't buy that i lied dude why are you overreacting i just lied to you i'm your kids i'm supposed to do i know a girl

who used to uh do this with showers she would go in the bathroom sit on the toilet and run the shower and then like come out in a towel and pretend that she showered and just didn't bro i would at that point like just fucking shout i i it's a hundred percent it's like it's like a uh issue with authority like i would i would fucking lay out a hand towel on the sink and i'd scrub that in case they were listening. Just scrub your teeth. Now I understand why Mike kicked you. That is crazy. That's awesome. You're sitting there brushing other things.

In case they had a Sonic ear on the other side. You're scrubbing other shit. I'm not doing what you're telling me to do. I'm about to fuck off. It's like, alright, I gotta squeeze some toothpaste out so they know that the toothpaste is disappearing. I gotta make sure something sounds like it's scrubbing. So let me just scrub something else.

Everything else on the sink is sparkling clean. I'm walking around with brown ass teeth. I don't know if it was the same day, but there are two like definite memories of my life with toothbrushing that like stick out. So I'm kind of conflating them maybe. Or maybe it was the same situation. And my dad did have a sonic ear and listened. of my life with toothbrushing that like stick out so i'm kind of conflating them maybe or maybe there was the same situation and my dad did have a sonic ear and listened but i i did it and i got in the shower and just a fucking hand came through the door because i had locked it he's like let me in and i was like no get out of here and i'm like i'm yelling no out of the shower and a fucking

hand I'm yelling Noah out of the shower and a fucking hand just jumps in the door. It's like the Shining. And I was like, I love your father so much, man. Like, dude, I cannot. Dude, imagine explaining that to my mom. It was the door from their bedroom to the bathroom. I was like, oh, we need a new bedroom door. I fucking knocked. I punched through it because John Henry brushed a towel. I cannot even imagine punching – like if Keegan was in the shower and I rocked through the door and was like, let me – I mean like they would be – they'd be in therapy. Like I had this one image in my – I can't even – I don't even think I can talk about it without crying.

One time I like kind of yelled at Keegan, and he started to cry. And I was like, I can't ever do this again. Let alone fucking kicking in a door. Or punching through and being like, brush your fucking teeth! But you're totally fine.

He didn't yell, to be fair. He never yelled. Or just. I call it inanimate rateimate rate yeah inanimate object i or that hit you i'm gonna throw something he would fucking the dishwasher would take a beating throw the dishes in slam the fucking rack slam the door it was like well it's better than our heads so whatever my mom my mom has the same thing there was one christmas morning where don't know, we were just acting like little shits. And she says, I remember we had like an overlook to the kitchen. And I was probably upstairs because I was in trouble.

And she was just walking around screaming. And she just walked up to the wall and fucking palated and just put a hole in the wall, like a huge hole in the wall. But it was Christmas, so everyone was coming over. So we just hung a toy soldier, like really low. And so it just made – no, it was just outrageous decoration in the middle of the kitchen of this fucking toy soldier. What they didn't know was that led to the outside. Everyone was like, why is that toy soldier? Don't touch it!

Why is it cold in here? Oh my god. Alright, so in summation, colostomy bags, not so bad. Jackie slicked up. Feidelberg's covered in oil. Sesame seed oil.

Me and Pavs have gross knuckles. Anything else I miss? Can I say a quick toothbrushing fun fact? Yeah. I just learned this. It's like so when you go to sleep, you have bad breath in the morning. Obviously, it's because your body's supposed to...

It's trying to excrete toxins or whatever. Wait, wait. I don't think I knew that. You shouldn't have thrown an obviously on there. I don't know. Is that true? shouldn't have thrown it obviously on there. I don't know. Is that true? I think that's a pretty obvious fact. I thought it was just because your mouth is closed or you're breathing through your mouth and shit,

so it's just getting funky in there. That's what I would have guessed. I don't think your mouth is secreting toxins, Jackie. Well, I think this is what... Let's Google this. Yeah. And so then when people normally have their coffee yeah okay saliva so i think saliva is usually washing that shit out kind of and then it stops when

you're sleeping so your mouth is dry and it gets all odory oh what did you think it was i thought it was like um your stomach is like getting rid of the toxins and so it's like going up and it's getting into your like airflow and then it's getting on your tongue judging by my sleep style i'd say there's some truth to that yeah well so then the point is your lungs and your stomach are two different things guys uh well your esophagus though yeah but i'm just saying like your air you know like it i get what you're saying but like your your breathing is not your stomach's not really gonna affect like your breathing per se well it doesn't affect my breathing but affects my breath my mouth yeah yeah it's like it's like you burp because like your stomach's yeah and like but i don't i don't think like at night you lay

down and go to sleep and your your stomach is like let me get this shit out i think it's just that there's no saliva it is i i can i can see there's i don't know but what's your fun fact well just basically like a lot of people wait until like after coffee it's not that fun of a fact honestly but like people wait until after coffee to like brush your teeth but you're not supposed to drink even water because then you're just pushing the toxins back in your body that was trying to get out so you're not supposed to drink anything in the morning well you're not supposed to drink anything in the morning? Well, you're just supposed to brush your teeth first. Brush your tongue.

Get all that stuff out. Oh, that's really the key, by the way, is the tongue. Yeah. The teeth, you got to. Never brush my tongue once won't do it. What? You're gross, bro. That tongue is gross.

It was gray. That's because I'm dying inside. Have you ever seen hamburger tongue? No. Google that. That'll fuck your day up. Does that come from non-burger? I just can't do it.

I gag. I gag too much. It's just like it looks like a fucking raw meat. You get that from eating cottage cheese pussy. You probably do. Yeah, the tongue scraper, I don't go as far as that. I just use the – I mean that's kind of – I can't get past there.

I just can't do it. You would be terrible. I just start my morning every morning puking? No. Go ahead. Before I get in bed, I puke. That's crazy. You really could just – real quick.

Bro, when I am brushing my teeth, I might as well be fucking Chechik. That's crazy. Because I'm like – I think about like – if you think about how gross your tongue is up here, think about how gross like your tongue is when it goes down. I'm like – But think about how gross my insides are. That's on them. Well, you draw a line at some point. I can't get below like here, but the ones that I can get to i'm scrubbing i i trust the lord i get the toothpaste

back there it's it's if you if you hear me in the bathroom brushing my teeth it either sounds like a porn or like someone's dying that's crazy yeah that's such a stressful way to start and end the day. Totally. Totally. Totally, man. It's not great, but I'd rather that than have fucking – yeah, like I go to war right away. I'm like asleep in my – If I do, that's just waiting for me. I'd never get out of bed. I have to do that first before I can play the day. How about do you like brush for like a full two minutes?

That's how long you're supposed to. That shit is so long. My toothbrush just kind of turns off every two. I find that to be so long where I'm like by the end of it, I'm like, I think this is gross. I feel like I'm swishing around the bad stuff. Get this all out. I'm done with this.

It's over. Wait, where does the tongue end? Great question. I would guess your esophagus. Below here. That's how they do the fucking Colombian necktie. What? Colombian necktie.

They slit your throat and pull your tongue out of it. So it hangs down like a necktie. I didn't know that. Right here. The tongue. I didn't know that right here the tongue starts right here at the heel how would you say

you pronounce that hyoid hyoid bone and then comes to the front of your mouth it's not that long I thought it was

no I would have guessed it was deeper than that but I guess there's no point to it so I guess maybe the Colombian necktie is cut here oh I didn't know that

you love you talk about the Colombian necktie a lot yeah well not a lot but more than the average person like like

you do talk about it most people don't talk about getting your your throat slit and your tongue pulled out it's very interesting yeah but you've used that as like a reference like probably four or five times throughout the history of this podcast.

And it's four or five times more than me. Every time someone brings up a tongue, I think Columbia. It's terrible. Okay. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.