KFC Radio - Joe Manganiello, Bill Bellamy, and Russia Can Have All My Photos

Episode Date: July 18, 2019

Joe Manganiello drops by to talk about his new movie, Bottom of the 9th, sneakers, his inspiration to start weight lifting, and what it's like to be Sofia Vergara's instagram photographer. Bill Bellamy hangs out and discusses Rock n Jock, Dan Cortese, the Shaq/Kobe feud (Shaq is his cousin) and what it was like to be famous and not even know it. The Yesterday hypothetical, why no one should be worried about the Russian FaceApp, and the end of Feitelberg's depression. Voicemails include: the next spork, useful/useless things learned in school, getting up on a flight, and running into a fire.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio brought to you by New Amsterdam Vodka. It's summertime. That means it's time to enjoy a cocktail pretty much at all hours of the day. Anytime, anyplace, have yourself some New Amsterdam. Have a nice cocktail after work, have it on the weekend, maybe have a don't know before work who knows before during sure all the time why not don't smell it on your breath have it all the time i mean it's it's it's the perfect it's the perfect alcohol vodka i've been a vodka guy forever it's like you know smellless tasteless uh doesn't

stain delicious you can do it as shots you can do it as a mixed drink i like it on the rock some people drink it neat i think vodka needs a bit much vodka well yeah vodka neat is yeah vodka neat is tough neat means like totally warm right just like straight out of the bottle yeah you a bit like i'm i'm a i'm a drink what you want man you're drinking just a cup of vodka we're gonna have a talk we're gonna call your parents on you. Like, no flavor either. It's just like straight up alcohol flavored vodka. Cup of that. Now, like a martini you're not going to have on the rocks, but it's chilled a little bit.

You at least have to have it chilled. And I'll be honest, you have to serve it in like the martini glass. If you just have like a solo cup full of New Amsterdam, it's probably a bit much. But you put it in a nice fancy glass that's chilled, maybe a frosted martini glass, then you're fine. So that's the beauty of New Amsterdam. You can have it any which way, and it is all smooth, extra distilled, and it's affordable. It comes in that cool-ass bottle, too. That bottle's pretty fucking cool.

Yeah, they're all over the place. There's one over there. Yep. There's literally everywhere you turn at Barstool here, it's New Amsterdam vodka. So get yourself New Amsterdam vodka, the official vodka of Barstool here. It's New Amsterdam Vodka. So get yourself New Amsterdam Vodka, the official vodka of Barstool Sports. Monster episode of KC Radio every fucking time. Also, on top of a monster show we got a monster

announcement another live show to all the haters and the doubters who told me i wouldn't do this monthly let's go matter of fact is it less than a month no it was july like 10th and now we're doing it august 14th so a little more than a month. I'm telling you, we're going to start banging these out every single goddamn month. I'm a man of my word. August 14th, back at Caroline's. It's John Henry Feidelberg's birthday. It is my 10-year anniversary at Barstool Sports. It's a big night.

It's a humongous night. It's an enormous night. The biggest of nights, some would say. Come celebrate with us. 300 of yous. Two of us up on stage. I don't know if we're going to have a guest yet. We might.

We might not. We don't know what we're going to do yet. We put on a banging ass show last time. We're going to do it again. So it's a little stand-up comedy. It's a little live show. It's multimedia. It's interactive.

It's a fucking awesome night. And this time we'll probably do a little after party. We'll plan it out a little more. Last time was just kind of like by the seat of our pants. I mean, it's a fucking awesome night and we'll probably well let's this time we'll probably do a little like after party like we'll plan it out a little more last time it's kind of like i mean it's your birthday we gotta have your birthday party come do john henry's birthday party with us so uh tickets are on sale right now on caroline's website i think it's like caroline's on broadway.com i don't know just google caroline's tickets are on sale uh the last time they sold out in like 12 hours and that was before we had a really successful show. And so I think these are going to go even faster.

So do not sleep. Grab your tickets now. If you're lucky, come hang out with us. We'll definitely be tweeting about it. It will be on Instagram. I'm trying to find the exact website. Yeah, get the exact website. Let's see.

It is just carolines.com. Easy peasy. Carolines.com. Wednesday, August 14th. It'll probably be like a 7.30 show again. Come hang out. We'll blow it out again. I'm very excited.

The last time was so good. The feedback was so good. I'm telling you, it's directly coinciding with John's happiness. Yeah. I mean, it really was. John's a happy boy now. I'm in a good mood. Hopefully this good mood lasts until then.

We'll see. But today is literally monster because Joe Manganiello is on the program, and he is a physical monster. He is. He's too big. He's obnoxious. He's too big. He's a big person.

He's too big. You're too big. I don't even know if I would want to be that big. Everyone's like, oh, I want to fuck Joe Manganiello. And it's like, yeah, but he's just like, ugh. Unless you are a football player or in the Avengers, being that big is just like, what's the fucking point, man? But I don't know. Maybe the point is to land Sofia Vergara as your husband, as your wife.

That's probably the goal there. It's a good side effect of being hot and huge. Yeah. You get a hot wife. Yep. A real hot wife. Actually, should we just have this debate here? The idiots out there said that Wayne Gretzky is like a billion times bigger the star than Sofia Vergara.

This is flat wrong. I just don't even think that's true at all. It was only Nate and YP, two noted idiots. And two noted hockey losers. Yeah, and I'm a hockey loser myself. I'm also just an intelligent hockey losers they're like the like hockey's the best sport ever why don't you like mine's lower i don't i'm not a lot of people i do think it's the best sport but i i understand why people don't

like it i also understand that sophia vergara is far more famous than wayne gretzky especially when you go you you you go down to where's she from south america yeah she's from yeah i mean you go to the non-english speaking countries, she's going to be a fucking queen out there. You have, what, 200 million people who know who Wayne Gretzky is? Yeah. I mean, like, who have the potential to know who Wayne Gretzky is. Yeah.

I'm just talking Canada and America. Probably some Russians know who he is, too. Outside of that, you know, Wayne Gretzky's a relative unknown. Sophie Vergara is known all around the world. All around the world. She's a hot woman, which already is, like're going to be more recognizable and well-known. She's going to be more of a household name in there with moms of the world and girls of the world. She's on Super Bowl commercials.

She's doing network TV. She's done network television for over a decade. And she's like out of that pool. She's the most recognizable with her beauty and her tits and her accent. And like she is – it's not just that she – like what she does for a living and the type of star she is makes her bigger. It's like who she literally is. It's like, oh, it's Vergara. Oh, yeah, the perfect tits and the whole fucking – she's been around forever.

Nobody – Wayne Gretzky, you could show like a millennial dude uh who who maybe even likes hockey a picture of wayne gretzky they'd be like i don't know i haven't seen that guy in 30 fucking years he has he has name recognition i think the name recognition is close for sure i think facial recognition isn't close at all it's vergara by a long shot facial recognition name recognition i'll give you it's it's it's close i don't know which one they said they were saying it's blown out of the water it's not even close it's a hundred percent correct they are two that is that is wrong they are just close two very dumb people yes yeah i mean they are two absolute noted idiots uh and if you watch yp show and if you agree uh with them you are

idiot too go watch barstool gold and be an idiot with yp yes barstoolgold.com slash kfc so we got him we also got bill bellamy who's a motherfucking legend. If you're my age, Bill Bellamy is more important than all of them. Bill Bellamy is a bigger star than Wayne Gretzky, in my mind. Bill Bellamy is a bigger star than anybody in my mind. I pitch him hard on bringing back

Rockin' Jock basketball, which is the most important thing that's ever been produced and recorded. I can't believe they're not jumping on it because it would just be free fucking money in this day and age. So Bill Bellamy talking rock and jock, uh, MTV inventing phrases,

standup comedy, the whole nine. Very interesting cat. So two, uh, all stars at the backend here to interview. All right, we'll start off today talking about the latest app to sweep the world.

The face app, face app, Russian face app face app Russian face app Russian face app making everybody look old these these have happened before there's actually I think even been like an old one before but this one is particularly good this was a monster when I was in high school it wasn't it wasn't aging it was it was the uh facial it does It turns you into what celebrity you look like the most. Yes. 50 percentages. Yes. I was exclusively Asian woman.

Well, the technology has gotten better. It was like, if one was thrown in there, I probably wouldn't remember. It was 12 Asian women. Or eight Asian women. However many they give you. I mean, you look like absolutely everybody and everything, but an Asian woman is not Asian woman? I don't think so. No. Don't think I look like an Asian woman. However many they give you. I mean, you look like absolutely everybody and everything, but an Asian woman is not Asian woman? I don't think so.

No. Don't think I look like an Asian woman. Not at all. I'm not going to say I'm the hottest person in the world. I think I look like a man. And I think I look like an American man, if we're being honest. I think maybe a German man. Definitely a German man.

Okay. I look like a little bit of a German man. Asian woman. That's what Trojan thinks, at least. Yeah. For sure. Lucy Liu. Asian women. Lucy Liu is definitely one of them. You got a giant white man schnoz. bit of a german man asian woman that's what trojan thinks yeah for sure lucy like lucy

lou is definitely one of them you got a giant white man schnoz there's no asian women that have a nose i got a gnarled nose yeah no but this one the technology is all caught up and the baby thing was was like two weeks ago now we're doing old and then like a month before that it was turned you into a woman and then women turned you into a man so they've been doing all you know there's all these these fucking morphing i don't i don't i'm not that impressed with this oh i am i think everyone's good the baby it just smoothed you out that's all it did the woman it added makeup and hair this one it just wrinkles you like it even wrinkled my shirt in mine oh i think this one's good it's i don't well you're just upset that you look absolutely oh no i i honestly

who look look it's not great it's best case scenario for me i'll admit that you look like you would scare children my kids would be like oh man finalberg i like have to talk like this i don't talk like a demonic leprechaun you do look like an evil leprechaun. You do look like an evil leprechaun. You almost have a little bit of, like, saw vibes going. Because you have your hair and your face and the fucking mouth wide open. Hello, nice to meet you, kids. I'm John Feidelberg. Would you like some candy, would ya? And then you, like, drink their blood or some shit.

Or the picture. Bite their fucking fingers off. When do you want'll eat them. Hitching toes. What if I had a face like this and I talk like that? Oh, you little ones. Come here. Who wants the goodies? He's...

It's great. I'm doing the rest of the episode like this and there's nothing you can do to stop me. You always say this. You always say you're going to do the whole episode in whatever accent. I'll get tired in a minute, but all I'm doing right now is let me go. Yeah, I'm sorry. That was the biggest ab workout I've gotten in a while. Just because I coughed.

Talking in accents for just a few moments makes me cough. So if you think I'm getting a disease, you're crazy, lad. He said tink. a little jamaican that's how that's how the irish say they say you tink it did ken jack ask you tell her don't just buy did you make that face on purpose no i, I got scared or something like that. I walked in the radio and someone scared me. What they need to do is take your teeth out. That's what the app should do. Make you fucking toothless.

And then you would really be horrified. I'm not going to be toothless. No, you are. Why? You? Oh, I'm going to get veneers. I'm going to lose my teeth. Sure.

Okay. You will not have your teeth. That's a fucking fact. No doubt about that. So John became absolutely horrific. Everybody is – Stephen A. Smith is always a fucking home run with these things. He was a baby and an old man. So, I mean, virtually everybody has done this.

Like it is a smashing success. I mean, I went and downloaded the app to do it. Oh, you did? Yeah. Luckily Ken Jack did it for me. So I didn't have to do anything. Well, then you can be safe john you won't be hacked and infiltrated by the russian spies who are so desperate to get into my fucking stuff everyone i disagree with that take i disagree with the

thing that it doesn't matter oh it does matter i just don't care it's like fine the the fine yeah that's fine but if you're like you're if you're like on Twitter being like, you shouldn't do this because it's owned by a Russian developer. Like, I don't know, bro. You've taken 60,000 selfies and put them on your Instagram that is attached to your information. If the Russians want them. Yeah, I guess it's all in one easy spot. But guess what? Your face is fucking everywhere.

Your name is everywhere. Your information is everywhere. There's a bunch of maniacs giving their DNA out to everyone. The world, Big Brother, the Russians, the spies, the hackers, they all have you by the fucking nutsack anyway. So the day that they decide to flip the switch

and cause World War III technological anarchy, they're gonna do it. And if you took a picture or didn't take a picture and turn yourself into an old grandpa, it doesn't fucking matter. So you might as well have some goddamn fun. Get your clout. Get your likes. Post it and say this is what I look like as an old man.

Right. I get it. I get the concern. We're just late with it. Too late. This concern should have been around in like the 80s. I was going to say 1989. Because the war is over.

We lost. Technology won. It's done. Done. So we have Instagram. Instagram is a nice tool to say, oh, this is what my friends are looking like. These are my friends up to these days. It's a better tool to know what brands you said out loud recently.

Yes. Because it's going to be an advertisement for you. And it's like, oh, yeah, I was talking about that yesterday. Good thing. There it is. Thanks for the reminder, Zuckerberg. Yes. And then it's Cambridge Analytica.

That was a pretty big thing. Yeah. I mean, it's already decided a presidential election so you taking a picture is not gonna fucking in the in the cold war era people were scared about like you know the red army like putting in listing devices in their house now we buy them and address them by name when we're talking to it yeah it's it's over it's done i get it's bad i'm not like oh who gives you i got nothing to hide i have plenty to hide on my phone. I don't want you to have access to my phone. Do you? I just already, yeah, I got pictures of myself naked.

You got cock shots? I got pictures of other people naked. I got weekends where all I did was talk to Postmates people. I got a lot of things I did not want people to see. What? I mean, that's embarrassing. What's even up to? It's like 17 texts from Postmates.

I don't want people to see that. So it's's really just uh you're embarrassing non-social life and your cock shots right right that's what people don't want yeah i don't want people out there no but here's the thing i don't want i i do not want people having access to my phone like regular ass people or like angry women not the fucking russian government i still i don't i don't want them to have access. I just know they do. It's over. It's like if these people have it, that's bad.

If those people have it, they're worried about bigger things than my dick. Don't you think like some deep web Russian site would just like put that up for sale? Just be like, you can search Kevin Clancy and all his pictures for $1,000. If you pay $1,000 to my dick pic, you can have it. I would like to. Contact me directly. Don't DM me. Have some pride.

$1,000? Yeah. Oh, my goodness gracious. If I get a $1,000 offer for my penis sold, I'll cut it off. The picture, you can just have the whole fucking thing. I guarantee if you say that directly into the camera, barcelagold.com slash KFC, someone will make that offer. Have you cut it off?

No, I don't know if I cut it off. That's a little morbid. I think that there will probably be some freaky chicks out there, some ridiculous frat bros who will crowdsource it just to fuck with you. All right, I'm not making the absolute guarantee. That should have been the Vlogs for Dogs auction. Yeah, just a picture of my dick. Byte's just selling his little pack. You can buy a picture of my dick bryce is selling his

you can buy a picture of my dick for a thousand dollars but i don't tell you what angle it's coming from you buy a picture of my dick from for a thousand bucks to get an undershot speaking speaking of angles the running butthole challenge is uh is one of the more aggressive internet challenges I've ever seen. Usually it's like, ah, don't put bucket of ice on you. Are they going buttholes out? Yeah, buttholes are out? Buttholes are out, dude.

How could you do the running butthole challenge without showing your butthole, bro? I mean, I get it. If it's just the butthole area landing on a camera, I'd give you credit. Yeah, I mean, sometimes. So if you don't know what it is, some porn star started it. She took her phone. She propped it up across the room.

She's naked. She runs across the room. She jumps. A porn star started it. I believe so. Okay. That's what Zah said. I don't think we know who, though.

I mean, Ken Jack did this forever ago. His asshole is in shorts. Yeah. And this is asshole out. Okay. Runs, jumps, spreads the cheeks. Asshole right into the camera. And people are getting creative.

They're doing the undershot. They're doing, like, the rikishi. They just spread their cheeks and drop it like it's hot. There's some slow motion ones. A lot of pussy involved. We're worried about Russia, like, finding, like, hidden things. This is the stuff we're voluntarily putting. People are willingly being like, here's my asshole soaring through the air.

Like, proof like this is why you shouldn't really get concerned with the Russian thing. Like, technology is going to lead to our demise long before climate change is a shot to do it apocalyptically. It's just going to be like, the technology is going to ruin us. Have fun the last 10 years. I think, you know what would help the world? I think we got to go back to like Garden of Eden where there's like no shame. If just the whole world released their nudes. was all the playing grounds now even you know it's like we all take regular pictures what if everybody's fucking dick pics around too and

just nobody cares anymore isn't that funny when you really think about nudity and like i don't like soft you know fuck that like this is okay that's okay your nipples if you're a guy's okay nipples if you're a girl is not like butt shot is now okay the rest of it no no no no no no no but my floppy dick can't do that yeah i'm okay with that let's keep that rule in place i think we should just let it all fly floppy dick stays in my pants maybe not floppy but you know hard dick yeah if your hard dick could be other would you imagine that if it was just like you know people posting selfies and then every now and then like on your instagram was like having a good dick day.

And everyone's just like, Mike. Or like the girls, you know, just like posting like their pussy and girls are just like, go off queen. Like that's my girl's clit. Fresh cut. I got the Howie up in here. You got that line up. It'd be great.

There'd be nothing to worry about. Revenge porn wouldn't be a thing. No one, the shame wouldn't be a thing. People would just be like, ah, all right. Everyone's fucking naked. And it would just still be the same level. It's like, hot people are still hot. Ugly people are gross.

But now we see your whole fucking shit. We got voicemails to get into. We've got a good... This is a good hypothetical, though, that somebody tweeted at us, right? Who tweeted us that? I don't remember. You sent that to the group? so we got this uh we got this message sent to us sometimes you know hypothetical

jumps out enough that it's worth it's worth uh it's worth giving a shout out to whoever whoever came through so this hypothetical from matt powers is brought to you by legacy box memories are important we just talked about it. Everyone's got their social media. Everyone's posting pictures. Nowadays, everything is stored on your camera or on your social media account. But we all have memories, tapes, pictures from our childhood that are old school. And we're talking about clout and likes.

Nothing gets the likes rolling in like a kid pick. A true throwback. You got to get this shit digitalized. Yes, that's what Legacy Box does. They send you a box. You put all of your home movies, your photo albums, your tapes, all of that stuff into the box, send it back, and they will digitize it to you and send it to you

so you can keep that memory forever. You can have access to it digitally to post on your social media accounts. You can store it forever. So you can take those old analog formats and turn them digital. And so, I mean, think about it, you know,

you go home every time you move or your parents are, you know, going through the pictures. It's always a fun time, right? It's like you, you see, you have these like nostalgic memories.

You see old pictures of people. Speaking of old pictures and parents and stuff like that i know it's a movie or show trope does anyone get mad when your parents are showing like embarrassing pictures yeah i know right that's how did that become a thing yeah it's like yeah i was like an idiot when i was six right yeah i was naked in the tub when i was three like mom don't show that right my penis is grown just like the rest of my body. Yeah. If you show an embarrassing picture of me when I'm like 31. In fact, I think that works. Looking goofy as a kid plays fucking hard. Were you supposed to be hot when you were a kid?

Like, damn, that guy was sexy. Yeah, if your girlfriend dumps you because you weren't a sexy five-year-old, you dodged a bullet. Seriously. Yeah, so you get a thumbnail, a digital download, or a DVD. That way you have access to it forever and you can repost it. You can do a bullet. Seriously. Yeah, so you get a thumbnail, a digital download, or a DVD. That way you have access to it forever, and you can repost it. You can do a little TVT.

You do a TVT, that's a true throwback from when you were a little kid dressed up in Halloween or whatever. Oh, buddy, forget about it. Shooting fish in a barrel. Never a better time to do it than now. And do it now before you lose those pictures because, like I said, if you move, or God forbid, there's a fire or a flood or something like that, and you lose those hard copies, that's it. Those memories are gone forever. So make sure you get

them immortalized today at Legacy Box. Go to LegacyBox.com slash KFC. Save 40% today. Ooh, buddy. It's a big diesel discount. Exclusive. That's a good present for the parents. Yeah, it really is. Is there anything coming up? No, we already did Mothers and Fathers Day.

So, you know, individual birthdays. Do it for love. For no reason. Because you care about them. Legacybox.com slash KFC. 40% off an exclusive discount. Get started by preserving your past. So, Matt Powers, he tweets us. And he says, this is based on the movie Yesterday, which if you're not familiar with it, Yesterday is the movie where the world wakes up and the Beatles don't exist anymore, but one guy remembers the Beatles.

And he's a musician, so he knows how to play their music, so he basically plays their songs and becomes famous off it. So if you could make people forget about one thing and you could profit off of it, what it would be? And you could profit. What would it be? The thing is you have to be able to invent it. So that's the thing. In Yesterday, this guy can play music. If the Beatles disappeared tomorrow and I knew about it, that wouldn't do a fucking thing for me.

Could maybe write you the lyrics, I guess. Any musical artist in the world could disappear. I could not steal your music because I don't know anything past the first three words to the song oh so you're saying you couldn't even google it because it wouldn't exist anymore so you have to remember the words if you're an artist die

in the studio with the musicians and it goes like this turn around that song sucks dude I swear it's going to be like, that song sucks, dude. No, I swear, it's going to be a hit. They're going to make a show about it and stuff. It's going to be great. So, I mean, the thing is that really handcuffs me because I don't have any talent.

None. I mean, virtually none. So, like, I don't know. I was even thinking about, like, football. Look at football. You got to go 10 yards at a time, touchdown, six points. Sports, when you just say them out loud, they sound so fucking stupid.

Like, oh, all right, there's gonna be a metal circle, and we're gonna put it up in the air, and they're gonna throw this ball through it, but if you ever wanna move, you gotta bounce the ball first. And if you don't, you gotta pass it around. I'm all set. I'll play soccer. Thank you. Yeah, and then this is where two, and this is where three, and let's have a big glass thing that you can bounce it off of too.

Like it's crazy baseball. I've been trying to explain baseball to my dumb daughter. She won't get it. She sees, she keeps every single time she mixes it up with football. She says, he's going to go to the yellow line. I'm like,

no, that's football. We're watching baseball now, but it's like, he's going to hit it with this stick and then he's going to run to this base and you either have to touch it or touch him with the ball before he gets there. But if he gets there on time, he's safe, and then he's got to run to another. I mean, it's just like, what the fuck?

Questions like this are so depressing because you realize there's— How little influence you have. I know nothing. I know nothing. I have three things written down. Once the caveat got added that you have to be able to do it, I don't think I can do any of them. I think I could invent Twitter. i think that's a pretty easy yeah no like not the technology the idea okay like that that is a pretty straightforward idea where

if it was just like i'm going to create a network where everybody has access to everybody and it's only like short little bursts of of uh of comments and like you can you can repost it so that it like amplifies the message like so that that kind of makes sense i don't know whether like anyone they'd be like all right i stole that idea you know you have to have the technology behind it but like any app i don't i don't have the technology to the ability to make the technology but i can pitch the app go. Can you like go out and – because, I mean, you could do Uber too. You could just go, okay, Uber is gone. But it's just like you go around and say it's taxis.

But it's like – On-demand taxis. It's like, okay, great idea. And you just like sell it to a developer and then you build it. Then you could probably build a lot of things. So you really have to be able to like make something to call – so that's like you can make the music, make the app, make the – maybe make like the clothes, like the shoes. Like what if Nike disappeared and you like – I got this great logo.

Even that. I don't even know. I couldn't make – I don't remember any Nike sneakers. I guess I could do Warthogs. No, but even just the swoosh. But is this turning back time? Could a logo – Are you like back in the 80s and you invent the swoosh or do you invent the swoosh now?

I just don't know if nowadays it would catch on nearly as well. No, I mean why does anything catch on? It's like why – the swoosh is not any different than – It's just like right time, right place. Right. And someone said – some influencer said like – Phil Knight was like, this is dope. And he said it to everyone. They were like, okay, it's dope.

That's really the thing. It's not always just the idea. It's the technology and the clout from the person to make that idea be like okay yeah yeah it's like the kanye effect it's like i could go make yeezys but if it's not coming from the god kanye no one fucking cares i had weed and weed disappeared that's great if you i just don't know the world forgot about it and then you were just like this drug right here you light that on fire and inhale it. I have quite an uphill battle with the United States government.

But I think – But no, I mean, you used to be the world's first drug dealer. Yeah, I used to be an illegal drug dealer. Yeah. I'm like, fuck. In fact, I was – And that just grows, right? So you would have to like – I mean, you'd have to like know where it grows.

I'd have to like find a seed. Yeah. But even that, it's like you've got gotta figure out how to like grow it right. Yeah. Cause if you, say you had like one seed, it's like you had like one shot and you botched it. And then it's like,

I don't know if I can keep it. All right. We're good. We missed out on weed this time. Hopefully an alternate universe caught up on that. I also had. You ain't a botanist, bro.

Yeah. No, I probably wouldn't be able to do weed. Like that's what I said. I had three. What about. Very simple ones written down. And I don't think I could do any of them.

What were they? Yo-yos. I don't think I could handle the axle. I think it would just be like, I would just have like a, it would just be like, it would just like fall and like pull my finger. Yeah. It wouldn't like stay in spin. But you could get like close enough, and then maybe get some people who could help you.

Maybe. And I also had Legos, but I think Legos is a big one you sell to kids. Like, yeah, kids play with this. They knock it down. They play with it again. Yeah. The parents would be like, oh, that's pretty good. I could definitely make a Jenga tower.

Oh. Because the Lego, even trying to come up with the little bumps and shit, they lock in. But a Jenga tower is just, get me a saw, and I'll eventually make the blocks. Think about it. I couldn't even invent the pen. No. A pen's impossible. I couldn't invent the pen.

I couldn't invent the pencil. I couldn't do anything. I'm so goddamn worthless. It's impossible. I couldn't invent a pen. I couldn't invent a pencil. I couldn't do anything. I'm so goddamn worthless. It's crazy. What about... Clothes are tough to make. Like sports... Sporting goods?

Could you like... What if... No. What if... I have nothing. What about... This. Podcasts? Yeah. If podcasts... Tremendously successful. You guys already do it. I have nothing. What about this? Podcast?

Yeah. It's tremendously successful. You guys already do it. Dave invented those. Or Dave already did that. Erase Dave. But even that. Okay, so the world forgets podcasts.

And we just say, we're going to start the first podcast ever. That doesn't mean that everyone's going to listen. Yeah, but I mean, chances are the phenomenon would pick back up yeah we have a very forefront of it we worked at bars like well i mean that's kind of that is what we did you know i mean we were like within the barstool world but like but if we were the very first ever so that's that i mean that is always the the the thing here is like let's come up with the next like type of content it's like we could do, let's do this. You know?

Well, we can't. We can't. We're working on it. We're trying. It's like, let's get a porn star and have her answer weird fucking questions. Yeah! We'll call it porn questions. It's only got to work once.

It did work one time. Once you've made Smash Hit, it drastically changed your life. I mean, well, no. I mean, Bella was a absolute smash hit we passed three million views mark didn't change our life nothing changed nothing has changed well the podcast starting a podcast yeah that helped life you'd be an accountant yeah true story okay final answer we're gonna do podcasts we're gonna make podcasts happen if you could have a magical power that makes the world forget about everything,

what would you do? This. Exactly what I do. Which is actually very on brand. When we say, like, if you won Powerball, what would you do tomorrow? Like, I'd probably watch Netflix and, like, hang out. Do you want to record my podcast? I mean, we're in a weird way.

I'd record it in nicer clothes. As, like, you know, grumpy as we are, we're living the exact life we want to live. We're very content. Interesting. Make podcasts happen. Tommy John makes podcasts happen. They've been making it happen with us for years now. One of our longest running supporters, literally and figuratively.

Because their underwear supports my ball sack. That was what I was saying. It supports my balls. I didn't get it. Yep. I had to tell you. I had to tell you. They got innovative, cool, cotton underwear. And, I mean, I mean i've said this before i'll say it again they're my sexy underwear

john when i'm feeling sexy i get my tommy john as a matter of fact though like the other day i grabbed them out of the dryer and i was like this is this is not a sexy day this is regular ass oh you didn't feel it i don't want to waste yeah you gotta earn so i put them back and i was like no no wait for a sexy day so uh but you didn't feel it. And I don't want to waste it. Yeah, you got to earn them. So I put them back. And I was like, no, no, no. Wait for a sexy day. But you know what? You can wear them every single day of your life. Just how about this?

Live your life sexy enough that you do need Tommy John's every single day. Get that cool cotton fabric. It's two to three times cooler and dries four to five times faster. How about that? That's pretty good. I didn't know that. I believe the four to five times faster, that's something you can just time good. I didn't know that. I believe the four to five times faster, that's something you can just time.

How can you find out if it's two times cooler? I'm going to trust them. It's a made up number, but I trust you, Tommy John. Tommy John's never done it before. They're a trusted brand. They've been down with us from the beginning, so I trust you.

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So interestingly enough, we are happy. Are you happy? Kevin, can I brag a little bit? Yeah. Are you happy? I'm the happiest I've been. It's a week straight now. I'm the happiest I've been probably since high school.

You know what I think, John? john what i think you're in love i think you're smitten i think things are going good at work i you got no reason to not be dude i but here's what i think i think that being happy is just a cheat code for life i don't think you should be allowed to do it. I think it should be like being happy is like playing with Michael Vick and Matt. This shit is easy. It's so easy. It's so true. It's so easy. It's like, oh, you wake up and you're just like ready to go and you're eager to. It's been a week now where I wake up at 730, no alarm clock.

Yeah, you've been up early. When things aren't going great, I have to set an alarm where I wake up at 7.30, no alarm clock. Yeah, you've been up early. When things aren't going great, I have to set an alarm clock to get up at 11. When things are going really bad, I have to set an alarm clock to get here for 3 after you're ready to show to record the podcast. That's when things really aren't going well. So that's when you're actually clinically depressed. Yes. It happened this winter. this winter i was telling you at the bar i was like i was like yeah i've been sleeping till like two o'clock every single

day and you were like you're like oh like i wish for that i was like well no yeah right but like but like all jokes aside when you're doing that you're probably like in a manic depression state i come in i record the podcast i go back home and go to bed yeah that's that's depression but like i the i get up at 7 30 every single day and i'm like it doesn't feel like there's a refrigerator on top of me i just wake up out of bed i'm like this let's fucking go baby so all right here's my question then because this is this is the segment i wanted to do about depression because i said this yesterday i think on gold or that i said on the regular podcast i said we'll talk about it either way all right so i said it on gold

i mentioned it i have now learned in my life because it has been so tumultuous for the past couple of years that I'm not depressed. And I have now learned that I truly believe now and understand that depression is like a chemical thing in your brain because I have so much shit that has gone on. Some of which everybody knows, some of which people don't know that i should be depressed but i still wake up and i'm just like all right let's go do this thing it's like i got a cool job i got great kids i still try to focus on the positives and i'm not i'm able to get out of bed and i'm not like physically you know down so i'm like oh wow that is because i all my brain's working right you know whatever the chemicals or whatever it is that i don't have that so i'm not depressed and that's why i understand why some people could be as happy seemingly their life should be as happy as can be and they're not because it's all physiological

but you being depressed like that and now not being depressed what's that about it's the fucking best but why do you think you're not do you really i mean do you really think you're in a happy relationship now do you think it's that or do you think work is going better now do you think it's that or do you think you're not? Do you really think you're in a happy relationship now? Do you think it's that? Or do you think work is going better now? Do you think it's that? Or do you think something has physically changed with you? I think something physically changed. I don't know what it is, but I'm sure all those things play factors.

Are you drinking less? Are you eating different? Did you change something? No. You did get on stage. I'm doing those things now, but it's so much. I've done them before. Like I said, I've cleaned my room before thinking

like okay this is what will get me out of this funk i need to clean my room you said and this was a very true statement that you said i think on the podcast yeah right say it again i i said that there's a very stark difference between cleaning your room thinking it'll make you happy and cleaning your room because you're happy when you're doing things to try to chase the happiness you're probably not going to achieve right i've done i've done're doing things to try to chase the happiness you're probably not going to achieve right i've done i've done like doing things because you are happy then you really enjoy it i've done like i've gone and like been like all right i gotta start working out like that's what it is i got that'll help me and like that doesn't work and then i've done like eat

healthy i've done that and it's like don't get me wrong those things probably do absolutely help but it doesn't it's not like you know everything's like you're looking for a quick fix and like you know like look i did push-ups yesterday why quick fix. And like, you know, like, look, I did push up yesterday. Why am I not happy today? And but if you like like it's when I say it's a cheat code, it's not just a cheat code for waking up. Like I've been eating nonstop salads. It's easy to eat healthy when you're like happy. You know, because, yeah, usually like comfort food is like, well, I'm sad. So I'm going to like this.

This this cheesesteak will give me happiness in the moment. So you house that it's easy to work out. It's easy to come to work. It's like I'm I'm at where I've been at work before you every single day yeah it's it's easy everything is it's easy to walk to work instead of taking an uber i'm so proud of you everything is so easy but the thing is you fucking better i haven't i haven't had sex since i've been happy but it's not even that but oh girl you about to get it when you do see him but the uh it's like everything is really easy but the worst part is is like i was walking home yesterday and i was really tired because we were

here late yesterday and i was like a bear bro i was just i was tired and i was like fuck it's gone again i was already like oh yeah i'm like just waiting for the other shoe to drop already but i was like fuck it's gone and i was i already, I set all my alarms again this morning. So I was like, it's going to take. Got to capture it again. Someone's going to have to drag me out of bed at 1030 tomorrow morning just to get up again. Oh, that's a sad thought that you thought it was fleeting. I thought it was gone already.

And look, it's going to go again. Yeah. No doubt. But this is like literally like the first time in like over 10 years where it's just like things have been fun and easy. It's fucking awesome. I think you're pretty, yeah, you're pretty clinically depressed. I was about to say something, but then you said that, and I was like, no, maybe it's full-blown depression. I think that maybe, aside from you just saying that it's the first time in 10 years you've been happy, I think you –

Not happy. It's not even happy. It's just like things are easy. Things are like going well. I think you are a new – probably probably not new breed but like a new definition like you're not i you know you're not like truly clinically depressed or maybe you know maybe yes like you're not uh debilitatingly depressed you know what i mean i think i would be if i didn't have this job yeah if you were yeah because like because like there have been jobs like i said

they're like when it's really bad it it takes – I come in for 45 minutes. You have the luxury of just – Right. I think if I like lost my job because of that. Or also it would just also be a source of more misery by sitting in your cube or whatever. I think I would lose a cube job very fast because I just can't do it today. I just can't come. So you're depressed.

I was going to say that there's some in-between bet in this generation where like I don't know millennials elder millennials Where the fuck we are where it's like I know I know I'm not you know like I'm not saying I Again like you're not like I can't get out of bed in the morning but I'm also Not like totally normal either you know what I mean I think that's where most people are residing

I think that's where most people are There's depression in everybody It's like how bad is your scale? How gay are you and how depressed are you? I'll tell you what, on this podcast, we don't know either. That should just be our tagline now. I don't know what our description on iTunes is, but it's just like, KFC Radio, we're kind of gay and kind of depressed.

We don't know how gay or sad we are. In this episode today, Joe Maganello, we were talking about Magic Mike and the Kinsey scale or something like that. And he was like, oh, clearly I'm talking to two very secure guys. And I was like, we're a little too secure. I don't know. I hopped up on the desk and I played with my dick last night in front of the podcast. Maybe we need to reel it in.

Maybe I need a little more insecurity in my life. Well, I'm happy You're happy man That makes me happy Another thing that might have been Is Olivia Culpo Posted an Instagram Where she's like

This was me Two months ago And she's like Kind of gray And she like Looks like sad And like that's what The post is about

And she's smiling And she's like These are the two pictures Of difference between me And so it might have been My narcissism That pulled me out of depression. I was like, hang on.

Am I a little gray? I got to get happy. I can't be ugly. Wow. That would be something like, come on. Like you gave your body a pep talk. Like, come on. We can't be ugly in these pictures.

So get fucking happy. Release some serotonin or some shit right now. Get that dopamine flowing. That's what if you like we gotta get these picks off man i don't care how poor you are i don't care anything if you if that dopamine is hitting uh don't complain man because it's fucking awesome that's why people do drugs yeah it's like yeah i'm gonna get this artificially i'll be happy that way fuck yeah happy john unbelievable yeah you're gonna get sick of this fast i bet yeah i Yeah, I think I already am. Let's do these voicemails, eh?

CBDdistillery.com. I mean, this is the CBD era. This is like, I mean, I've never seen something take over quite like this. Everywhere you go, there's just like flags. I don't know what happened. Flying CBD flags, literally. I guess it's just that it comes with the legalization? No, I think CBD was legal that it comes with the legalization no i think cbd was legal i think cbd beat legalization but there must be something with a patent or some reason why you know like a lot of the a lot of these companies like when a

patent expires and everybody can go after they can do it for some reason or maybe i don't know maybe it's just like the the culture just joined up with it but the cbd craze is uh it's a revolution in society right now. And you can get all the health benefits of marijuana, but without the high. 100% legal, so you goody two-shoes don't need to worry about it. No prescription necessary, so you don't have to worry about that. You're not going to fail any drug tests if you got a union job or a good gig where you can't do that. And it's easy. They have all different types of products, so no matter how you want to do it, you're happy. Go to CBDdistillery.com,

and whatever your health concern might be, long-term wellness is the answer here. So you can, are you doing CBD? Maybe that's why John's happy. You sleep at night, you wake up, no pain, no anxiety. It's a cheat code for life. CBDdistillery.com pain. No anxiety. It's a cheat code for life. CBDdistillery.com. CBD and happiness.

It's just cheating. Code KFC for 15% off. And if you haven't tried it yet, what do you got to lose? Like I said, it's not a drug. It's legal. You don't have to worry about anything. Give it a shot. C-B-D.

Oh, wait. Hang on. I'm fucking this up. It's CBDistillery. So the D is the D in distillery okay so it's not cbd distillery it's cb distillery and i'll be honest if i could get in a room with these guys i would tell them they should not do that that's just gonna be a whole other confusing thing you know i'm gonna go get cbd distillery.com and make it porn or something like that so when you screw it up it's

like wow we go to cbdistillery.com. Promo code KFC. One more time since I screwed it up. cbdistillery.com. Hey, what's up? KFC fights Super Nintendo V.C. First time, long time. Graham from Texas.

Wanted to know, just like the sport, you know, the spin the fork for, you know, any idiots out there. I wanted to know what two things you would combine that could be just as great as the spork. The spork. The spork? Okay, so what's the great invention as good as the spork? Yes. Okay.

Well, here's the thing about the spork. It is a great idea, but it just didn't catch on. Like, you know, nobody had it. When was the last time you saw a spork? Every now and then you get it in a plastic thing, you know? But, like, it makes all the sense in the world. It's like Big Cat's Frambulence, you know? It's like, why don't we combine these things?

But, you know, if I'm eating with a spork, i feel like i'm at like you know a white trash spot oh you're it's not like you're gonna get a spork in a five-star restaurant yeah spork just had a bad publicist spork big spork had bad pr bad branding because it was overtaken by the elementary school i'll tell you what i would eat my chicken sandwich and my or my chicken patty and my mashed potatoes with it and that's that's what it was for. The problem too, while it's very on the nose and accurate, the name spork makes you feel stupid. It makes it feel like a stupid product. It's a spork. It's funny. It's a half a spoon, half a fork. I don't know. It's bad. It should have had its own name. It deserved its own name. What would you call it? I don't know. Yeah, it's a tough one. I mean, it's like,

how do you invent the word spatula? You know, like, why would you call it i don't know yeah i mean it's like how do you invent the word spatula you know like why would you call a spatula spatula spatula plays it's a great word i was uh we got super like a fucking cliche movie scene i got stoned in college once and this kid just was going spatula and we were just like dying laughing like can you ever think about the word spatula but yeah how do you come up with these words i don't know i'm not shakespeare over here bro i'm just telling you spork is a little too a little too hokey for me so while it is a great So can you ever think about the word spatula? But yeah, how do you come up with these words? I don't know. I'm not Shakespeare over here, bro. I'm just telling you, spork is a little too hokey for me. So while it is a great invention, it never really hit. But I understand what he's saying.

Let's combine two things and make them awesome. Frambulance was on the top of my head because I think Barstool Gold, barstoolgold.com slash KFC, tweeted out a video of Dan or some – oh, it was the documentary. And they're talking to Greg Olson and Greg Olson was saying how he was like, we wanted a guy in Chicago and along came big cat. And they ran a little highlight reel and it was him pitching the for ambulance to Detroit. Right. That was very funny. And it makes perfect sense.

It makes a lot of sense. Combine two things, you know, the Costanza would combine sex and food. Um, we might have to give it some thought. This is tough on the spot. I think that I was going to say phone and remote control, but you already can with the Apple.

The Apple remote. You put that on your phone. Yes, but. Because it's always in your hand while watching TV. But it needs to be a little more like, I i guess it really is pretty easy but i almost need like the whole remote on my on my phone you know what i mean like i it's tough when you're when you're using your phone and and you don't have all the fucking buttons oh yeah you need the whole thing yeah so i need like the verizon fios remote on my phone sort of thing, where it's like the guide button, the last button.

The phone app doesn't allow you. But not physically. It can be a touchscreen. Correct. Okay, okay. But I'm just saying the Apple remote thing is like you can swipe and move a little bit, but you can't really run your whole TV from your phone. I need that.

That would be a good one. I'm in the market to try to combine my fucking phone case and my wallet right now, which I know exists, but I can't seem to fucking get it done. Did you return that other one? I did. Did I tell that story on the podcast? I don't think so. Okay.

So I had to get a new phone, and my wallet got stolen. So I'm in the market for both. So with the new phone, I need a case because it was $1,100. And I wanted to get one of the phone wallet cases. So I go over to Apple. of the phone wallet cases. So I go over to Apple. By the way, have I told you my idea to steal from the Apple Store? No.

It was a great idea. You go to the Apple Store in Grand Central, you can just steal stuff. They don't stop you. As a matter of fact... It's not just Apple. You can steal from any store. People understand stealing is legal. Yeah, you can steal from any store, and they're really not going to stop you, but they're really not going to stop you but they're really not going to stop you at apple because have you ever done it at all have you ever been to the apple store in grand central at all

yes you go up the steps and then it's kind of just like an open air store you know so you go to the back and that's where all the accessories are but they're expensive ones you can grab the airpods and all that sort of shit you can grab airpods i think so yeah definitely so then you got to pay for them and you know there's no there's no checkout on these things anymore you just go up to a person so the other day i got this idea because everyone in that back room was busy so i was like i'm gonna walk downstairs and go find someone else and then by the time i left that room nobody knows that i've that i have something but i didn't pay for and there's no you're just walking down the steps of Grand Central,

so there's no alarm going off. So I'm just going to start stealing stuff from the Apple store and selling it on eBay. Perfect. Make beer money. I'm not saying I'm going to get rich, although I did say if we could organize and we all do this and we combine, we could probably make some coal.

Yeah, we'll buy Barstool Sports. Done. Just sell enough AirPods, probably, what, three pairs? Got them! So anyway, I go to the apple store i asked the girl i said uh can i get one of these phone wallet things she's like yeah sure it's right here she's all right she's all right she wasn't anything crazy but she was cute and she starts basically like we're flirting a little bit we're talking and i'm uh she was asking me to pay with apple pay and i have my new phone which didn't have the home button

and I'm struggling with it and I'm like, oh fuck, I missed my home button. We start joking about that, we're flirting. As she's doing this, she's opening the box for me, taking the thing out, putting my phone in it and pulling up my Apple Pay. So before I know it, we're ready to pay and it's already out of the box

and on my phone and everything and she's like, that'll be $107.99. And I was like 107 american dollars for a fucking phone case i'm doing all right here but i ain't got it like that girl but i was like it's like dave buying the purple starfish shorts like i'm not gonna not gonna once you put it back in the box once you go to a register that's it if you are not on welfare you're buying you have you have to buy you have to that's how you bought your hat that's how you bought your shorts that's how i bought my phone case but it it was way too expensive someone uh i think liz was like well it's real leather i was like i don't fucking care it's my phone case so i bought

this fucking 110 phone case which i end up not liking anyway because it was like holding a leather book in my hand. But I do want the one that just has the little slot in the back. It doesn't open up. I just slide that in. I think that's a good one. The phone case wallet is a good invention. There's got to be plenty of others, though, that just combine things.

I like the computers that kind of fold up into a tablet. I think what you need is one that just comes apart. What do you mean? So you know how you had the laptop one that folded backwards so it became a tablet i think what you need is one that just comes apart what do you mean so like you know how you had the laptop one that folded backwards so it became a tablet yeah but it should just rip apart so that the screen is just that you don't have to fold the keyboard into it so it's as thin as as a tablet yeah you lose that keyboard then it should be like a touchscreen that becomes like an ipad oh okay so rather than folding you just rip have you ever used one i feel like that might they might have that Just come. I don't know for sure, but I feel like that's something.

Nick's saying we do. Nick's saying, yeah. Nick's smart. He knows. Okay. All right. Again, what we've learned on this episode is we're not good inventors, okay? But I'll give you that as a thought.

Do you have any ones off the top of your head? I don't have anything. The clicker kind of nailed it. You got anything, Nick? No. No? We'll give it a little more thought. Oh, man.

What about a cock ring and a condom? Because a cock ring, not only does it feel... We kind of went right into that. Not only does it... I can't think of... Oh, how about a cock ring and a condom? How about... But here's the problem with that.

You're wearing a condom. Yeah, but that's where the cock ring what you're wearing a condom yeah but that's that that's that's like where the cock is gonna suck so the cock is gonna make you feel oh oh yeah i'm talking about one of those under nut ones uh under nut yeah like one of those ones that really cinch the ball sack you i've never done it i've seen it no you can't have a condom the condom goes over your balls no it's like uh the cock ring okay i'm trying to give me a pen the cock ring would be around the pen over there the condom and then it would be i got paper you can't have anything that would thank you that would go over your balls so here's the condom john's now

drawing his condom right and then here's a little addition here that has right right so that's the cock ring right there bam yeah and then there's an add- here that has. Right. Right. So that's the cock ring right there. Bam. Yeah. And then there's an add on down here. Underneath. That just wraps around. I think.

Honestly, I don't know for sure if this works. I feel like I've seen it before on like sex toy websites. Yes. I was talking about. Maybe I'm wrong. A little vibrator right there. Yeah. Here.

There you go. Hold that up for gold. Yeah. I get it. So hanging it from the bottom of the condom is another loop that goes around your ballsack. I don't know that this is going to work. We're going to have to do some test runs. I think if you're going to...

So tonight, we're going to fuck with a condom on with a rubber band around my ballsack. I feel like squeezing the dick is what helps, not squeezing the balls. Okay, so how about a condom? Super tight. Crank tight. With a wrench on it. I'm out. You can invent all the condoms you want.

I don't want to invent condoms. They need to they need to invent something also we'll make it thinner than usual lubricated too how about like a i i think i think we need like a one-stop shop a pill that's like birth control and you're like depression pill and like a hangover pill i just need a magic pill yeah like the pill from that movie with bradley cooper that's about adderall limitless yeah there is a pill it's called adderall i watched that movie recently actually um is that any good it's it's entertaining i like it no that means it's bad if john john only says entertaining it's not good so we came up with a tv show we came up up with magical pills. I said cow and a cock. I said a chicken and a cow.

A cow and a cow. I just like I like to cow. I feel like a chicken, like a chicken patty on top of a cheeseburger. It would be good. And I guess you could just do that without combining. You don't need to crossbreed. You don't have to spit in God's face for that one. But also, what would that look like?

Would it be a chicken size black and white thing? Oh that one. Also, what would that look like? Would it be a chicken-sized black and white thing? Oh, heavens no. It would be a small cow. It would be a small cow. But would it have wings? It would be a chicken-sized cow. Yeah, it could fly. Chickens can't fly.

They can get up. They can jump kind of high. Chickens can jump. No, they flail. Chickens can get up a little bit. They can fly like head height for a little while. No, not for a while. I think they're up and down. I think you bit they can they can fly like head height for a while no not for a while i think they're up and down i think you're right that they can get to head height but i think that they would uh they would like they go up and they go down gravity gets them really quickly i think unless they can land on something all right i mean look i'm not a

fucking farmer i don't know i'll take your word for it you said that very confidently chickens can fly they got. If you got wings and you're not a penguin, I'm going to say you can fly. Well, if you're wings or a chicken or a penguin, you can't fly. Whatever, dude. Next fucking voicemail. Next fucking voicemail. What's going on, boys? I'm sitting at work listening to one of you guys' old episodes about

fights talking about how he learned nothing in school. So I have a quick question for you. What do you think is the most important thing you learned in school and the least important? Great question. We talk about this a lot, how school doesn't teach you the right things, how there's that education blackout.

That's why John didn't know about Chernobyl. No, it wasn't Chernobyl. Chernobyl is one of the Oklahoma City. Most important and least important thing you learned? Least important for sure is all this calculus shit for me. Didn't learn it. Oh, and like very cliche, let's say cursive.

But everybody, you know, that's like. Cursive is very important. I love cursive. Cursive is kind of, at least for a minute, it's kind of like cool and important. And you got to have a nice signature and stuff. You got a great signature. I do. If you didn't learn cursive, you wouldn't have a good signature.

Right. Well, I learned it long before I learned cursive. I learned that so I could – Be famous. No, so I could – like when I failed tests, I could – you have to get them signed by your parents. Yeah. My mom has the fucking hardest signature to forge. It's insane.

By the way, thinking back on that, remember how you say like you realized that your teachers weren't that important and that they were like just 25 year old like 30 year old drunks and shit like that do you think that they knew your parents signature yeah oh yeah but as a kid everything scares i know but like to think back thinking that they would be like i could have wrote fuck you mrs taylor that's not mrs clancy's signature you know what i mean it was just like a scribble the um the most and least important thing i think the most important thing I learned is probably snitches get stitches. You learned that in class? In a sense. Yeah, like in history, like a roundabout way you learned.

Oh, no, no, no. I just mean through communicating with people. The kid who raises his hand. No, no, no, no. I mean, I learned that in school. No, no, no, no. Classroom, teacher, subjects. That's. I mean, I learned that in school. No, no, no, no, no. Classroom, teacher, subjects. That's a different question.

I learned it in school. If you're the kid who's like, oh, I forgot homework, you're in fucking trouble. I don't mind your fucking business. It's not even stitches get stitches. It's we hate fucking snitches. Right. Like, you will have no friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We weren't actually beating you up. It was just like, fuck that person. You need me right away. Yeah. So let's see. Historically speaking, I think like the most important thing i learned is and also everything you learn isn't you didn't it's not real like we learned about slavery but like you didn't yeah really like i was gonna say learn learning it happened that's what you learned

you learned that like we gave black people free rides over that's like that's like how it's portrayed spins on that in the textbook real hard big time at least back in our day i don't know what they're saying these days yeah i mean it was like yeah black people came over from africa and then they worked and then they went free okay um you kind of yada yada yada that yada yada mcgraw hill quite a bit um i honestly i honestly don't know i i mean i i would i guess addition is probably the most important thing I learned. Yeah, I mean, like, basic math, yes, you're right. I would say for us, for me, like, not directly, but English, like, writing. I didn't learn writing. Honestly, God. But you might have.

Like, I can recall. I think I, like, close my eyes and I think about which teachers I remember and which, like, classes I remember. I only remember the ones who told me I was good. I don't remember the ones who got me good. There's a lesson, you know. I remember teachers being, like, high school kids. I'm vain'm being like you're a really good writer i was like thank you yeah like i i had an english teacher who told me like you should write for the paper like you and i and i wrote a fucking bomb ass article about tupac and biggie being murdered um

i i honestly i don't remember writing i remember getting some good grades writing and being like and i don't know like i can't remember like a lesson they taught me, but they probably had. I think that's my parents. I mean, my parents that one through DNA and they're just like reading with me and stuff like that. I don't remember like a creative writing lesson because there was a time when I was a really fucking good writer. And I bet I want to throw back. I'll still have like, you know what it is? It's motivation.

A couple of blogs here and there. It's topical. Like when I when I wrote all about my life and I had a topic i really wanted to write about and a lot to say it came back it was like eloquent and i'm like using symbolism and i'm like all that shit when you're just like turning out blogs you're gonna be like here joke joke joke joke right it's if you're writing about personal stuff yeah it's like you post and you're like yeah i know i know how to do that yeah it's it's fun being good at something you at something. That's one thing I know I can say. I honestly think that's more of just like I was a big reader as a child.

Because creative writing lessons don't happen until high school. And then that teacher was like, you're really good at this. So I don't know where I learned to write. But it was just a fucking Matt Damon, that shit. This is fucking easy for me. It's easy. Um, let's,

I'm just trying to think of the subjects. Like you have English, math, science, social studies. I don't know anything from anything. Art, music.

I think it's all important. I think it all made me who I am, but I don't think, I don't think I have a specific thing where I was like, if I didn't know that I would be fucked. I guess, I guess the alphabet math. Yeah.

Like the true, true basics, but come on, that's not what we're talking about here. Would you make the argument actually in some funny way that gym class was important because of sports and stuff? You ended up playing sports, liking sports. All that shit was before gym too. I was skating before I ever went to school. Yeah. That was shit like my dad didn't know what the fuck to do with me as a kid. I'm just thinking back to like mat ball and gym games and shit like that where like, you know that was shit like my dad didn't know what i'm just thinking back to like mat ball and gym games and shit like that where like you know it ended up kind of being important because as

much as as much as i'm a fucking unathletic spaz now like in gym class then we were like playing you were like one of the better kids you're a captain you're picking you know all that kind of shit like ends up mattering i i think it's almost like life as a whole a school in the sense that individual things don't really matter as much it's the it's the entirety of it yeah is is like what you remember that's like college it's like like a day of your life doesn't really matter but your life does yeah right like the the impact you have on people and things like that and i think school's similar where it's this lesson didn't matter but everything you learned in school as a whole was important. That's what I say about college.

It's like the classes, whatever, but it's like you went off to school and you lived there and you lived on your own and you figured all that shit out. The whole experience is what matters. But if you're pinning down subjects – I mean so you didn't do any calculus stuff? No, I took – I think I took pre-calc my senior year. Yeah. And then I don't think I ever took another math class. But even that, dipping your toe into the calculus world is utterly useless unless you're going to go build planes and shit like that. So I guess we need to continue to do that as a society to make sure that people keep building planes and engineers and shit. But for the regular people who have no fucking interest, it is insanity to sit there talking about the the fucking what's that equation called

the quadratic equation the derivatives of the fuck blah blah fuck that noise i think the most important lesson to learn in school sometimes you have to do shit you don't want to that's the whole entirety of school you don't ever want to be there but you have to be there do you think history is important yes so i would maybe say that like learning again. I think history is important, but at the same time, the famous line is, if you don't learn history, it's going to repeat itself. And Nazis are back. Mussolini's running in Italy. Yeah, but you know what's funny is unless you become a world leader or something,

what in your life are you doomed to repeat right now because you didn't like learn it you know on like the school level like historical yeah i guess we can blame all this stuff on people who didn't learn lessons yeah fucking fucking government wasn't learning the lesson bro let's do a couple more and we'll get into these interviews yeah guys so quick thing i think you guys will enjoy how many times on a six-hour flight, or any flight really, it's too many times for someone to have to get up and use the bathroom if they're not in the aisle seat. So, I was on a six-hour flight. The person next to me got up five times, had to wake me up.

I felt like I was in a standing room only flight. Pretty ridiculous. Love your take on this. Love you guys. Thanks. I say you get two. I guess on a six-hour flight, yeah, probably two. I don't know. That is a tough one because a six-hour flight, I'm going to start drinking. Right.

But I guess I am drinking whiskey, so it's like less liquor, less alcohol, or less liquid going into me. Yeah, you're definitely going to pee more than two times if you're drinking for six hours. I'll probably go slow. I'll have like two drinks over the first three and then we'll yeah jack it up yeah um but i i honestly god if i was on the inside of that flight if i was on the inside seat i probably just pee myself twice it's it's so awkward i'm one of the more awkward things if someone's asleep i someone's asleep, I prefer aisle anyway. But if I'm inside. You said that when people don't.

Isn't that the. I think people prefer window. Oh, I mean, not even a question for me, aisle. It's more like, you know, get that leg out there. Yeah, you pop that out. I get hit every time. I'm like the guy in. Me too, but whatever.

Fucking wedding singer. I got my knee smashed last time by the cart. She it on purpose i get i get shouldered yeah i get like you two you big body boy kind of like i mean i guess it's like this it hangs over a bit but i get like i'm like come on man you gotta like you've been doing your whole life you gotta right you can figure that out you get around me what's in front of you um the uh i guess i mean six is six is preposterous six Six times, yeah. Six pieces. I mean, my thought was like, you pee once. I don't know.

Maybe you pee again. Maybe you got to take a shit. I'll give you a one and one. After that, I think you would have to say to me like, listen, dude, I've got the shits or I'm sick or I have an overactive bladder. You'd almost have to, we'd have to have a talk. Or like I have fucking. I'm drunk. What do you call it? We need to discuss. I have a blood clot. Yeah, I got to get. You'd almost have to, we'd have to have a talk. Or like I have fucking, I'm drunk. What do you call it?

We need to discuss. I have a blood clot. Yeah, I gotta get up and walk. That happened to me one time in college when I had a pulmonary embolism. They were like, you can't fly for

like six months or whatever. I forget the date. Fucking pulmonary embolism? Yeah. They thought it was a heart attack. The, no drugs. I was on no drugs.

I had like two beers. And I just like, You never know with you, man. Couldn't like stop. New stuff every day. I told you no drugs. I had like two beers. And I just like. You never know with you, man. Couldn't like stop. New stuff every day. I told you. I think I've told you before. The doctors came into my ER room.

And they were like, we're going to fill out your living will. And I was like, it's standard procedure with heart issues. God damn. How old were you? 18, I think. Fuck, man. And I was like, I have $17. Yeah.

You fucking want it. It doesn't really matter. Boy, that's pretty fucking ominous. Yeah. It was, it was wild. Um,

but, uh, but they were like, they were like, uh, you know, you shouldn't fly for a while because it might be a clot or something like that. They couldn't really figure out what it was.

I think they called it pulmonary lesion, but they weren't positive, whatever it was. And, uh, I was like, well, I mean, I'm gonna fly next was. And I was like, well, I mean, I'm going to fly next week.

And I also, you know, don't go swimming after you eat. And they were like, I told them, I was like, well, I mean, next week is Easter vacation or whatever it is. There's some reason to go home. And they were like, okay, well, make sure you get up and walk around on the plane every time. Didn't do that either. It's crazy how much

you ignore all of us ignore like medical advice yeah you know when they were like rehab your shoulder i was like yeah nah dude guess what i don't have an arm anymore like one of the worst decisions i've ever made in my life i did that rehabbing my shoulder when i had shoulder surgery they were like okay you gotta go to rehab never showed up once waited i had in october started working out in the new year again. Just went back to regular lifting. I can throw a baseball three times now. Oh, I mean, I forget.

I can't even like sleep on it. I remember being post-op, like when I still needed the sling at the bar in college and I took my sling off cause like I didn't want to look lame. And like the girl I was trying to be cool in front of was like this is stupid and like you know you're being less attractive idiot and i was like no it's fine it's fine i'm too tough for this thing last voicemail of the day let's get it what our ksc fights super smash brother bc i've got a little bit of a story and a hypothetical for you here. On one particularly cold night here in Minnesota, it was like 50 or 60 below, our water pipes had frozen.

My battery in my car had frozen. I had to bring that in and charge it. And my dad had a brilliant idea to take a mini blowtorch and try to de-thaw the water pipes. Long story short, ends up burning the whole house down. And so as we gather the family members and stuff and animals, all of us get out of the house. I'm like, oh, shit, I need to go get my battery. So it's just in the entryway.

I go back in, smoke going out, flames everywhere. Just disconnect my battery and run back out quick. I'm like sitting there for a little bit, my i hear my dad go oh shit and he runs in the house like 15 seconds later he comes running back out and this motherfucker has a case of beer in his hand so my question for you is your house is burning down what is the most asinine thing you're running in to grab or not to grab. All right, thanks. You know what? It's funny because as stupid as it is, he was probably like, I'm so fucked. My wife's going to kill me. The insurance is probably not going to cover this because I took a

blowtorch to the house. I need a fucking drink. I think that's one of the smarter things you can grab. Because you can use it right away. Look, I'm going to be sitting outside in the cold. With your life like in ruins. I have literally nothing else. There is no better is no better saved his and your family's life otherwise it's like well if i'm sober right now i'm gonna massacre everyone so let me get a buzz on so i

calm down we've talked about that before like the best beers and like the opera ski they uh doing the lawn yard work tons of good shower beer all kinds of good beers post-arson the the i think one of the best beers is like i I just fucking burned down my life. I think that's like, fuck it, man. Oh, yeah. Just watching it burn. Yeah. That's the best time to drink when you have, when that's your salvation.

I had one of those drinks. I bet you fucking did. Yeah, yeah. When you're like, look, I got nothing else right now. Whatever, man. Just this cup. Fuck this. Just what's in this cup right here. It's a great drink. Yeah, I got nothing else right now. Whatever, man. Just this cup. Fuck this. Just what's in this cup right here.

It's a great drink. I bet. It tastes good. I bet, man. It's good. It's different. It's different. I would get, I mean, I'd probably get a pair of sneakers.

There's probably one that I'd have my heart set on. I live everything. Or like a hoodie. There's like a couple hoodies I have, a couple pair pajama pants i'm big on my indoor wear see i don't take inventory on any of my life so therefore if i don't know what i have i don't know this is old john what's john happy john's gonna like things yeah you know i'm sure i there are things i like but it's just that if i if i forget like pete my my laptop laptop broke and Pete is fixing it or he's having it fixed, you know?

And he said, make sure you save anything that's that you need. And I said, I don't even know what's on here. And he said, he's like, well, maybe there's some important, maybe. And I stopped. I was like, I don't know what's on here. So therefore it can't be that important. Right. If I don't know, I'm missing it.

Here you go. Yep. I don't know what's in my house, in my apartment. apartment you know i've been like asinine things i would grab i i guess probably i would grab my laptop which i don't even know what's on it yeah i guess it's asinine but i could maybe grab uh shout out to my parents i mean other parents i'm saying all the people out there who are parents i would go get keegan's got a cow like a stuffed cow that he needs oh yeah that's not asinine that's like fucking important get the like the the little like the right pillow the right blankie the pacifier the the toy the

stuffed animal uh but for myself i would probably get i got a pair of sweats you get a pair of sweat pants a pair of sweats and a pair of sneakers. I mean, I wouldn't, but if we're talking about that. If it was like run back in there, you have to run back in, grab something. I'd be like, all right, well, while I'm here, because I'm forced to, I'm going to grab sweats and my kicks. I have a very funny picture of my family, Coley and Tyler, before my dad sent me to be framed. It's on my mantle.

You grab that? I think I grab that. It's a very funny picture oh yeah yeah it's not like my mantle yeah you grab that i think i grab it's a very funny picture yeah coley is like bent down like this and i'm like my dad my uncle and my sisters very funny yeah i think that's a funny picture i'd probably grab like a few like pictures or something like that things to hang that like you know obviously aren't important but i think they're cool would you would you save me from a fire would i save you yeah like if if it if it burned the burning was like toast and there was like a really really strong chance i was fucking dead and a really strong chance that if you go back in there to try to save me and i'm dead would you still do it of course even if it was like he's really

probably dead dude yeah like if the police are like no son like he's gone don't do it yeah would you like push the push through yes yeah Yes. Yeah? Yeah, I think so. Me too. Well, again, you don't do it. You couldn't. You'd hurt your back. You would die. I think I could pick you up.

I would almost get in the way. He's got a better chance. You think I could pick you up off the ground? You could pick me up, yeah. You think I could? I don't know if I could. I think you could. I think you're a pretty strong dude.

I think in the moment you could. I could i could carry you once i got skinny fat dead weight but yeah that initial like i don't know if i could get you the ground you'd have to like uh i think if you could like pull me up though and kind of do like an over the shoulder yeah yeah if i was sitting up if i was completely dead weight that'd be tough you know i think about that a lot is when i watch porn i see girls i see guys picking up girls and shit like that's fucking hard oh yeah i do that for 30 seconds tops i don't even i mean that's a long time 30 seconds that's a long time i think just even physically just doing it at all is crazy and like you're a pretty strong cat and yeah like if you're fucking

like you're hoping you're hoping you're fucking a little tiny thing but like if you're if it's like a normal ass girl like you know you got're fucking a little tiny thing. But like if you're if it's like a normal ass girl, like, you know, you got some fucking weight on you. You got some pounds on you. Yeah, it's hard. Yeah. And I'm supposed to also be trying to like please you while it's happening. I'm focusing all my effort into like my core and my quads to like lift you up here.

God damn, girl. It's tough. All right. Let's get into the interviews. This interview, Joe Maganello is brought to you by Audible. Listen up. You got Amazon Prime, which you absolutely have to have Amazon Joe Maganello is brought to you by Audible. Listen up. You got Amazon Prime, which you absolutely have to have Amazon Prime. If you don't, you're crazy.

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yep oh my god you want this is something that you're trying to be happy trying to be better you should you should get into every night you should should listen to them. You should learn things and read new stories. So let's go ahead and better ourselves with an audiobook. 10 out of 10. I can't recommend it. I'll recommend our boy Rude Jude, The Hyena, and Hummingbird. Same sort of idea. Short stories.

Every chapter is easy to read, so you don't feel overwhelmed by it, especially when you're listening. You pop on Audible. You listen to a short story here or there. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. I'm a short stories guy, much like I'm a TV over movie. Right. So it's almost like blog writing, too.

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I do that all the time. Yeah? Yeah. What do you do that? I've never done that. Red Cross. Red Cross commercial. Oh, yeah.

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Interview time. One of... No, no, no. Maybe the most interesting... What's the word I'm looking for with joe the best joe joe manganello is just fucking what's a word for like we were like we uh we talked we probably wasted 10 minutes of the interview time just shooting the shit with joe we even just talked the interview you just gotta fucking busting balls having fun joe manganello awesome guy awesome awesome also before i don't know how much of the i don't know when the mic was on but We got to fucking bust the balls, having fun. Joe Manganiello, awesome guy. Awesome. Awesome.

Also, before, I don't know how much of the interview, I don't know when Mike was on, but we were talking about sneakers because Joe is a sneakerhead, and he mentioned that he got Mosh to make his custom pair of Guns N' Roses sneakers. That was awesome that you're like, I know those sneakers. I mean, I know those. I sent them to Bob Fox. I sent them to anybody I know who likes the band or sneakers. And I was like, this is the coolest fucking pair of sneakers ever. He's like, oh, yeah, they're mine.

One of one, and they're fucking mine. Fuck you, Joe. Whatever the word is for I want to be this guy. I want to hang out with this guy. I want to be him. I'm jealous of him. I'm proud of him. Yeah.

He's all that is man. That's what it is. He was so awesome, too, in the sense that when we were being like, come dude you fucking hot bitch he was like come on guys come on like and he was it wasn't just a show he was uncomfortable he was like let's talk about something else guys i mean he is i don't like all like the alpha man shit and actually we talk about that a little bit in the interview but you know if you if you draw up the prototypical male, 6'5", size 14 shoe, handshake like a fucking bear paw, sexy, tan, ripped, charismatic, funny, talented. I mean, come on. Everything you want.

Joe Maganello, let's do it. What are those? Mocha? Mocha 4s? Mocha 3s? Yeah. You're a sneaker guy? I know a thing or two about sneakers.

Yeah? Yeah. It's my one vice. Oh, yeah. It's one. Yeah, this custom sneaker guy named Mosh made these. These were his first. Oh, Mosh is my dude.

So Mosh made me a pair of Guns N' Roses, Usual Illusion Jordans. Yeah, those are mine. Oh, shit. I texted him when I saw those, and I was like, these are the fucking coolest sneakers I've ever seen. Yeah, they do. One shoe is usually losing one, the other is usually losing two. I mean, I was like, these are the coolest shoes I've ever made.

If I wasn't coming straight from, I came straight from Italy to come here, and I wasn't going to drag around a pair of shoes. But if I wasn't, if I was coming from L.A., I would have worn them. I actually, so I'm in the market for him to make a pair for me. And I was like, I want to just fucking steal this idea. I was like, I got to come up with my own version because it's that cool. Have you seen his Levi's? Yes, the purple, the. The Metallica.

Oh, no. Levi's Jordan 4s. Those teams. They're sick. With the bleach stains. Yeah, yeah, the... The Metallica. Oh, no. Levi's Jordan 4s. Those teams. They're sick. With the bleach stains. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. He's unbelievable.

He's great. He's a talented cat. Cool, cool, cool dude. Yeah. We don't need the headphones. No? Okay, cool. Wow.

I'm going to steal those sneakers, man. Do you wear them or you just put them on display? No, I wear them. Yeah, I don't do it. I get the Fear of Gods, the moccasins these are good summer shoes but i also have the um i was thinking it was between these or those off-white desert air maxes yep i just got those what's your favorite sneaker of all time favorite of all time um i don't know, man. It might be Air Max 90s.

But I have a couple of Air Max 90s. Well, no, I shouldn't say that. I have a pair of Rattlesnake Alligator Jordan 1 Shadows. Very cool. That are dope. My wife got me a Kangaroo Alligator. Who are you married to again?

This lovely Latin woman. She got me a pair of kangaroo alligator shark skin Jordan 3s. Someone like you two. Are you on the sneaker app or you have a plug?

You just text. Yeah, he's got a guy. I have a guy. You have a guy. He has a store called Bodega in Boston. Oh, yeah. My brother used to work there. Oh, so yeah, my buddy Jay, he owns it.

And he just, he owns one in LA. We became friends over the years. And so whenever there's something that I'm hot on the trail of, Jay will help me out. Or like, for example, he'll just keep stuff in storage for me. So when I show up, he'll have like, oh, hey, man, I'll come in. He knows I'm a 14, so he'll just have stacks of 14s that he's been keeping for me. He's like, oh, man, I had these for like four months, man.

I'm so glad you stopped in. And they were like off-white Jordan ones. And they were already like three grand online. They're in the box. And it's like for retail. Fuck you, Joe. That's the reason you're famous. I was going to say, the it's like for retail. Yeah. So, you know. That's the reason you get famous. I was going to say, the best part of being famous is that. Got the hookup, man.

One of them, man. All right, let's get it cooking. We got Joe Manganiello is in the building right now for KFC Radio. We were just talking a little sneakers. You're coming through looking fresh. You got a new movie out. Life is good. Bottom of the night's out tomorrow. I'll tell you what. You've got a new movie out. Life is good. Bottom of the night's out tomorrow.

I'll tell you what. You know how to swing a bat. Yeah, impressive. I was very impressed with that. Thank you. Yeah. I appreciate it. I think a lot of sports movies, it doesn't always translate.

I think in the first, I watched it yesterday morning. I think when you first get in the cage, I was like, look at Joe. He's got a cut on him. Look at this guy. Well, what's interesting about that is, well, thank you for that. And yeah, I mean, I worked hard. I mean, I was doing BP every day leading up to the movie. You played high school sports too, right?

I know you played football. Did you play baseball? Basketball. Well, I was going to play basketball in college. And I also played football. I was captain of the football team growing up. I was also the captain of the volleyball team in the spring. You didn't get that basketball? So you were obviously a basketball captain too if you were going to play in college. Yeah, I was also the captain of the volleyball team in the spring. And we didn't get that basketball. Oh, so you obviously basketball captain too, if you're

gonna play in college. Yeah, I was basketball captain as well too. Yeah. There's really no surprise there. I mean, that's really not that shocking. Come on. But when I was a kid, I played baseball, but I got hit in the face with a bat and it took out all my front teeth. So all my teeth are fake in the front. So I was playing pickup in the street and it took out all my front teeth. So all my teeth are fake in the front. No. How did you get in the face of a bat? So I was playing pickup in the street and a friend of mine was a pitcher and he was like, I quit. And I was playing catcher. And I was like, yeah, I quit too.

And pause. And then the kid who was batting did the one thing you tell kids not to do, which is swing a bat around other people. And so my friend quits. I quit. Dude takes a practice swing and blasts out on my front teeth. How old are you? Like nine.

Holy shit. At least it was an accident. I thought you were yelking hard. Yeah, but like, you gotta be stupid to do that, you know? And so, yeah, my friend was like collecting my teeth off of the pavement as my, you know, his mom was calling my mom to come pick me up and take me to the dentist. I mean, I'm like, I can feel it. It's like hurting my mouth.

No, it's brutal. And then they drilled into my teeth thinking that the nerves were dead. Oh, no. So I was gripping the arms of the chair, and they're like, please, calm down. What? They didn't think there was any way the nerves were still alive. Oh, my God. This is like something out of saw or some shit oh yeah it's you know it was torture so they had to emergency root canal and both take them out they did drill at the time i mean this is

you know 80s they drilled posts up into my jawline um and then put caps on them which were made out of steel with like a little bit of porcelain on the front. So they were completely discolored and that's just all they had. That was the best they had. So I was in and out of dentist offices growing up constantly. I would just sit there in the chair and do my, my, let me see. Let me see. He's probably white. So let me see.

Well, these are different. I bet you got some Hollywood teeth now. You're good now. Yeah. Well, that's the thing is like you make money in the first thing you want to do. But at the time, like when I got True Blood, you know, the life of an artist is not easy. Right. You know, you're struggling until you make it.

Right. And I got True Blood and I knew it was going to be a big job and a lot of other people did too. And I was approached by this guy who was a friend of a friend. And he was a dentist. And he said, hey, man, I heard you got this big job. And I want you to be able to smile confidently when you go do press for it and when you're on the show. So I'll tell you what. I'm going to fix your teeth for free. And we'll just be friends.

And this will be my gift to you. Of course, he knew I was going to come back from a— Friends, you know. But at that time, that was such a huge gesture for me, because it didn't look right. Yeah, and that can ruin everything. That guy's smart, because

Joe needs to have good teeth. Because if the rest of it went to waste because he had a mangled mouth, that would be a crime against the world. You need to have the whole package, dude. But I was doing okay up to that point. I know, I went to drama school with those teeth, you know, the originals. The OGs.

But like, I'll say like freshman year, I was given this scene from this really crazy play by this playwright named John Guare. It's this really weird play called Lighty Breeze. And in it, there's a character who plays Frankenstein on stage every night in like the West end and, and then complained about having a chipped tooth, like through this whole play. And he was like raped and given syphilis by like this woman that's like, who was this like

mother figure. It's this weird play and this weird character. But the tooth. And so, yeah, he's like, oh, I chipped my tooth. And so freshman year, I went home and we were going to present our scenes like the next day. And so I was like, oh, well, he's playing Frankenstein, which is like an animated corpse.

And he complains about his teeth being chipped. And so I shaved my head bald and got a loaf of French bread and worked those front teeth out with the French bread and popped them out and made sure not to break the posts. And didn't tell anybody. And then came in and did my scene the next day.

So I came out from backstage bald with these missing teeth. And the crowd, you could hear gasp in the crowd. It's the method acting shit here, man. And the girl I was acting opposite of, like, she forgot her lines. It was a mess. She's fucking horrified. Yeah. What is this thing in front of me?

Yeah, how did we do that? Frankenstein, man. But yeah, I would pop them out for different roles over the years. Committed to the craft, huh? Well, yeah. I mean, well, look. I mean, yeah, if you're going to do it,

fucking do it, you know? We were just watching a couple clips before you came in from the Magic Mike movies. Oh, really? You guys alone in here in the dark watching Magic Mike? I actually said, I was like, I've seen, I think they're awesome movies. They're very good. I've seen them both once because I'm afraid like it's going to tip the Kinsey sale.

I'm like, look, I'm a little too much. But they're funny dude movies. They're really awesome. They're like The Hangover. They really are. People don't understand that. Dudes are like scared of it. I'm they're funny, dude. They're like the hangover. People don't understand that. Dudes are scared of it. I'm like, no, bro. It's like the hangover. If you can't watch that and appreciate that it's funny and that

there's something to it, you probably are hiding something. You probably got your own issues. Clearly, I'm talking to two very secure men. We're almost a little too secure. When they're cheering you on outside the convenience store, like if you can't just laugh at that, get the fuck out of here, man. That's hilarious.

You're a pure guy. You happen to be hot and shirtless, but like, that's like, oh, my buddy's fucked around in the convenience store. Like, hell yeah, you jumped around outside. We all did that. We're just ugly. You guys were pretty and we're just ugly while we do it, man. Thanks.

That must have been a set to be on. Oh, man. Yeah, that was funny i mean also so i you know i produce films and that's part of why i'm here and we'll talk about that later so i was in the process of getting this film together um about the day the smiths broke up uh the band the smiths and it was written and directed by a guy who was a real big documentarian named Stephen Kayak, did a bunch of music documentaries. And one afternoon he was like, hey, I'm going to have a screening for my new documentary about the Backstreet Boys. And like, they're all going to be there. And why don't you

come and check it out? I was like, sure. And so I went and saw this documentary about the Backstreet Boys and then went straight to my first dance rehearsal for Magic Mike 2. And I get there and the choreographers are like, OK, so you read the script? I'm like, yeah, of course. I read it like 10 times. And they're like, all right, so we're going to figure out the convenience store scene. This is what we're thinking of. And we started walking through the moves, you know, and what it was going to entail.

Could you dance before this? Or it was all you're learning on the phone? Yeah, no, I mean, I went to Carnegie Mellon. I went to drama school. So you have ballet, you have jazz, you have rumba. Yeah, you have all of that. So it's a yes. A firm yes.

And you have really hardcore movement training as an actor there as well. So how your body moves and how you enter a scene, how this character walks versus this character, how you walk personally versus someone neutral, versus if you add this to your step, if you add that. So we're drilled on all of that. And at the end of the day, it's choreography. And all the guys in that movie, we were all former athletes or wrestling champions. And so most of the roles roles that i play there's fight

choreography which is also you know choreography as well so dancing too yeah so i mean the trick with that scene was to make you know it's where channing is the one who's the great dancer my character is not supposed to be that that good yeah yeah you're supposed to be that dude who's like, you know. Just big dick, bitchy, baby. Yeah. PDR! He's clearly gotten through life on something other than his dance moves. And so the funny part of the arc of that character is with that scene, that's where we're all like, hi, I'm Molly.

And I dare to go into the convenience store. And that's where he kind of like discovers himself. Yeah, comes out. The butterfly emerges. Yeah, exactly where he kind of like discovers himself. Yeah, comes out. The butterfly emerges. Exactly. From the chrysalis. Right, right. And so that's the funny part about that, that dance routine. But the choreographers, we kind of walked through it.

And I'm like rolling on the ground laughing. Oh, my god. This is going to be so funny. And we had a water bottle there. And I just did the water squirt. And I was like, I think we can pull pull this off when i go to the water cooler and you know and they're like well what music should we do it to and they're like well we were thinking this and that and then i go no no no no i go i got this i want it that way by the backstreet boys we we have to clear the song

because the idea that that guy who is not a great dancer, who's gotten through life, having a big dick or whatever, you know, also is a closet backstreet boyfriend. And when the music comes on, knows the choreography that you realize this guy probably practices in his bedroom. Like it's amazing. Come on, we're going to kill them. So they were Soderbergh and Greg Jacobs, um, who directed the film. They went and got me the song. That's amazing. For the routine.

It's a great movie. It's a great story. I was similar to Big Dick Richie as a kid. Oh, were you? You were getting by? I was huge on NSYNC. My sister took hip-hop dance classes, and every night she'd come home, I'd make her teach me the steps. No!

I didn't know that. You could pick up girls pretty easily if you knew. You're doing bye bye bye and shit? They'll start dancing with you, man. I remember wearing a Batman t-shirt in elementary school. And like one of the new kids had just worn like a Batman t-shirt in like their video for like hanging tough or something. That's right. All these girls were like like we like your shirt you know except that as a kid i just didn't know how to you know convert that into right you didn't realize that that was that was something they were telling you something

i did the exact opposite where i did it's almost it was new kids as well it was joey mcintyre joey mcintyre had a music video he filmed at an amusement park or something like that. And he did all his dance moves. He performed them in a sweater. Sweater vest? Sweater vest. With no shirt underneath it. So next day I rolled in the school sweater vest, no shirt under. People were like, you fucking goddamn asshole.

What are you wearing? But if you could bust out those dance moves, they'd all shut up. I didn't know the moves. I was going strictly on visual. How old are you? I was in elementary school. Oh, my God. like an eight-year-old john wearing a sweater vest with no shirt jesus christ i was immediately roasted and it was the worst day of school of my entire life i was just you know what rightfully so i was like what the hell there's only there's

only one time i'm gonna condone bullying it's that dude i was like was like, yeah, I like Batman. I'm wearing it because I like Batman. Not that Batman makes it, but you were kind of a dork, right? Are you a self-proclaimed nerd? On the inside, sure. Yeah, for sure. I heard a rumor that the reason you got ripped is because you want to look like a Dungeons & Dragons character. No.

That's not true? No, man. Anybody of my generation who picked up a weight is because of arnold schwarzenegger okay like let's just get it straight yeah yeah you go up watching terminator and conan and predator hell yeah you go to the gym because you want to be that guy yeah and then stallone and van damme and all those dudes in the 80s like those were those were the guys that my you know our generation looked honestly i think dudes now are probably saying that about you. Sweet.

I mean, for real, right? You are like the gold standard as far as the body goes. Thanks, man. It's obnoxious. To be honest, it's actually obnoxious. It's like you take your shirt off. I'm like, fuck you, man. That's my first reaction every time I see you. Fuck this guy.

It's my job. I know, I know. But it's just like the way you look and now you sound like you're cool too. It's like just leave some for the rest of us. I was talking to my girlfriend last night and she was like, we're talking just at a equipment meeting today. And she's like, oh, make sure you tell Joe how hot he is. I was like, okay, I will. She's like, no, no, I'm dead serious.

Make sure. I was like, all right, babe, I get it. I'll fucking tell him. It seems like this is really about me more than it's about Joe. Message delivered. What do you think of this whole, I don't even know if you know this, but the internet craze right now. Oh, you just did it.

What? The Face app? No, no, no, no. I'm saying the past couple of years, the vibe has been dad bods are better than guys who are shredded. I mean, that's kind of got to be like, well, fuck you, man. Right? I've been working hard for this.

I think my wife would make a difference. Ah, fuck off! Answered. Yeah, really. God damn it. There was a sliver of hope for the rest of us. Like, okay, all right, I'm going to look like me. Hey, girls want me instead of Joe.

Seriously, the internet said so. I really think so. Just do you. Just do you i just i just did me and i don't know it's worked out pretty well man it's worked out pretty well so uh bottom of the ninth now is uh is the movie we're talking about here which and and and i really being able to swing i think a real problem with a lot of sports movies is like the authenticity when sports fans are used to watching the game be played at its peak and then you watch an actor try to stumble around it really hurts it so the fact that you kind of know what you're doing the bad your hand lends a lot of credibility though if i may pick bones sure you need to put one dip in the whole movie what was that uh yeah man i think i think you got the fake teeth anyway you can't even get cancer on fake

teeth yeah but yeah but he's coming out of prison. My character in the film is getting out of an 18-year prison stint. It's hard to get dip in there, man. Yeah? I mean, you can get heroin. I feel like you can probably get dip. Yeah, but like – well, if I was going to do it, I'd do it right. I would wrap it in the bubble gum.

You've got to wrap it in there and then put it in. Smart man. So anyway, duly noted uh the sequel exactly exactly bottom of the 10th we'll start with him getting surgery like tony gwynn like you know they're gonna have to cut my job um sorry i mean there were some lines in the movie that actually stuck out um where it seemed like there was a little shade thrown at baseball i think three separate times it was too long. I think Sophia's daughter says it's too long. At one point you say, I know baseball is boring,

but they put a fucking miniature golf course here. Well, which is an actual miniature golf course built into a minor league stadium like up the parkway. Really? Yeah. That is an actual stadium that has this miniature golf. And literally, that was my reaction. I was like, what the fuck? Well, here you go.

You know, like, you can't pay attention to, you know, you've got to come over here. You've got to go play mini golf? I mean, this is like, yeah. Yeah. And then your parole officer also says, if I wanted to go to sleep, I'd watch, I forget what he would do instead. Yeah.

Well, and then Sophia, in one of the scenes, I say, you know, do you even like baseball? And she's like, no, I like soccer. Soccer, yeah. It's great. It's a great life. Yeah, there's that one, too. Yeah, I guess in one of the scenes, I say, you know, do you even like baseball? And she's like, no, I like soccer. Soccer, yeah. It's great. It's a great life. Yeah, there's that one too. Yeah, I guess that's very meta.

Are you a baseball guy? I mean, obviously, but like a baseball purist, did you watch it? Did you grow up watching it? Are you still a fan? Listen, I mean, you grow up in Pittsburgh, and it's like they just break your heart. Brother, I'm a Mets fan. I got you. I know how it goes. Ownership isn't interested in winning.

They're interested in bottom dollar. They're interested in making their money and getting rid of all stars. When I complain about the Mets, the first response I always get are Pittsburgh Pirate fans being like, I hear you, man, but try being a Pittsburgh fan and let me go back and forth on who has it worse. He has a nice stadium at least. I went to a Pittsburgh game.

It was very beautiful. Yeah, and we had Barry Bonds when he was 181 pounds or 175 or whatever. It's brutal. Yeah, it's hard because of the commitment to winning or the lack thereof. But with that said, whenever I'm home, I go to the stadium and support. I love that stadium. That stadium is gorgeous. And I love the team.

You look like the least Western Pennsylvania guy ever. Yeah. I was surprised to hear that. You're from Miami. My parents are from Boston. Oh, really? So summers growing up, I would watch the Red Sox in the 80s with like Wade Boggs and Mike Greenwell and Roger Clemens. Greenwell reference on there.

Does that mean you had a chance to go Boston's teams and you went Pittsburgh teams or was it never really in the cards for you? Well, so Pittsburgh never had a basketball team. So growing up in the 80s, guess what? It's Larry Bird in the 70s. Okay, so you got a little taste then. I'm happy for you. So it was Larry and then I would watch Red Sox games with my grandmother on the couch growing up in the summer times in Boston.

But then, of course, 91, 92, Barry Bonds, Bobby Bonilla. You got, you know, two years in a row at LCS. Oh, God. So close there. I know. And then from there, it's tough because, you know, I got to be friends with McCutcheon. Yeah, I mean you had a little blip there. You build a statue of that guy outside your stadium.

You don't give him away. Come on. I remember when he got traded, I was like, wait, we're getting rid of him? I mean they cut payroll like a zillion dollars like a year after almost contending. That's crazy. It's tough, but when I'm home, I always go. So Sophia's in the movie. She's in the movie. Is this a, what's it like, you know, acting, working with your wife? Well, it was great. I, you know, so I had the script,

I've had the script for years and I had the script for years before we even went out on our first date. And when I read the script initially, it was written for like an italian girl you know um and but i i read it and thought man you know who'd be good at this is that sofia vergara i was also i can i'll admit this i don't care uh we're trying to figure out a way to get around this hell yeah can we be honest now yeah yeah let's get real i would be writing movies for sofia vergara all day long let's get real. I would be writing movies for Sofia Vergara all day long. Let's find one. Yeah. And so. Look at you.

That's like a Babe Ruth calling your shot right now. Yeah. If I could just get in the same room. If you get in the same room, she will feel the magic. Yeah. So, you know, years later we got together. And, you know, in entertainment, when you're a couple where both of you work in the industry on camera, like you're under a lot of scrutiny. I'm sure. And there's a lot of people chasing you around.

There's a lot of people writing things about you and taking shots at you. And you don't want to invite the wolves in the door. And so we really did not want to work together because, like, we liked each other and wanted to keep our relationship protected. And, but. Just extra stress, right? It's like unnecessary. Yeah. I just don't, yeah. I don't want to put our, put us, put our marriage up on the public shopping block that way. And, um, but she was complaining about not being able to find a good script and something that she wanted to do. And I just said, look,

I have the script that I'm producing. There's a great role in it for you. And actually when I read it, I thought about you. I'm going to leave it by the side of the bed. You can read it. If you respond, we'll have a conversation and that's it. So she read it and she said, it's great for me and you. It's great for me. It's great for you.

Like we should do this. And I said, okay. So I went out and got the money and then put the film did you say okay you can audition on Monday and we'll see how it works we'll see if you make the cut she was auditioning the first date she didn't know it she didn't know but she wasn't that's great stuff so what else you producing is that kind of like your uh I mean obviously you act in it but is producing really your passion now or what it always was when I was a kid I started making my own movies and that's actually how I backdoored into acting.

My high school had a TV studio and so I would stay up at night with a pad and a pen next to the bed and I would just write these scripts. And I would write movies and TV shows and cast all my friends and I would go in and type all the lines into a teleprompter

so my friends didn't have to learn their lines. They could just read. And I would stay after school and do that and I would take the cameras out on weekends. And at 6 a.m., we were up chasing daylight, filming big mafia action movies. I learned how to make squibs out of cookie tins and condoms filled with food coloring,

K-Roll syrup, and firecrackers. Special effects and everything. Yeah, with the whole thing. So my friends and I, we had this mini movie studio in high school. And my friends were like, you should act. You should do this, man. You're good at this.

And I was like, I don't know. And then the drama teacher was like, I really would like for you to try out for the high school musical. And I was like, I don't think so. I got volleyball. I got colleges looking at me. I'm the captain. I can't do it. She's like, well, just come in.

Just please. Just show up. And I was like, do I have to sing? And she's like, just sing Happy Birthday, please. And I was like, all right. So I can't do it. She's like, well, you know, just, just come in. Just, just, please just show up. And I was like, not to sing. And she's like, just sing happy birthday, please. And I was like, all right. So I went and did it. And then she cast me as like one of the leads in the big high school musical that spring. And, um, so I didn't show up to volleyball and I went and did the musical. All right. I got a question for you. Are you bad at anything? What are you bad at? Am I bad at anything? Yeah. Tell me something you're bad at. Everything's been good, right? You're good at everything

you do. Sure, of course I'm bad at everything your question yeah i mean okay off the top of my head like surfing skateboarding i mean everyone's bad at those things anything involving how about this how about this i mean you don't know me but like do you think there's anything in the world i'm better at than you anything i'm sure'm sure. I'm sure there's not. I am pretty positive there's not. Will you throw something at me then? Let's go. Where am I?

What am I over here? You know? Tiddlywink. Love it, man. I love it. You're a good guy. You're a funny dude. I also saw when you were doing One Tree Hill, you got to play slam ball.

Yeah. You know about slam ball? Oh, I know about slam ball, bro. What are you talking about? Slam ball is the greatest. to play slam ball. Yeah, you know about slam ball? Oh, I know about slam ball, bro. Slam ball is the greatest sport never sold. Are you still playing slam ball? No, I mean, I'm sure it exists somewhere, but it's not like, you know, there was that brief little bit where it was on. Like in Cambodia, there was some weird underground slam ball.

It was on like TNN or something like that, right? It was on some weird channel. There was wrestling on it too. They made a go at it, yeah. I mean, it was the greatest sport created. Yeah, it was Spike for a while. I mean, were you high flying or were you just bodying people? I feel like you were just a bruiser.

I saw you get bodied. Both. Yeah, we watched a little highlight reel of you and the dude from What You Know Behind the Scenes. Well, that was in the script, guys. Yeah. I had to. I had to.

Yeah, well, for people out there it's it's full contact basketball on like a hockey rink made out of plywood with trampolines around the three-point line and the paint it's it's hockey basketball cirque de soleil yeah all combined it's white so you have like midair collisions which like you're not supposed to, but it happens. There's a goalie who's there hopping on a trampoline underneath the basketball hoop trying to block your shots or tackle you. And you take off from the three-point line, which is far. It's so far.

So you were doing all that shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's crazy. Oh, yeah, for sure. You have to learn what that's all about before you get out there and film it because there's also a coordination to it where your brain has to envision where you're going to land a split second before you hit the first trampoline. So your brain has to go, I'm going over there, boom, and then you hit it.

And you got to hit it in the right way so you get air and travel. And it's crazy. It's the best. It was crazy. It was crazy. That should catch on as like an actual sport, like major sports. I'm surprised it didn't just. I think it could be brought back now, too.

We should have pitched it back to the big three. The big three. Forget that. Put some trampolines in there. Forget it, man. Maybe I'll get it. Yeah. Let's go.

Also, if you want to write a movie about two podcasters, we would be... Two podcasters? You guys are like the Tropic Thunder... No, not Tropic Thunder. What am I thinking of? The Flint Tropics. The Flint Tropics from fucking Will Ferrell.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, anything you want, man. You stay up, you write it on a pad, I'll come fucking act it for you. I don't care. Like you said, like Sophia, you leave us the script, we'll read it. If we want to have a conversation, we'll let you know, all right? Speaking of, you mentioned Italy earlier. Yeah.

And I was actually looking at Sophia's Instagram before this. How many of those do you take? And while you're taking them, are you like, I'm fucking Joe Mangano. How am I just taking pictures? You're just an IG photographer, bro. I'm a full-time husband. Bad. Okay?

I'm just like everyone else who has a wife or a girlfriend now that cell phones have cameras in them. You just get handsy like, take it. Do it, Joe. Husband slash producer slash personal photographer. Yeah. So 80 picture that is of my wife up on Instagram. Guess who took that?

Guess who took like 30 of them, I'm sure, right? That's so funny, the picture. Yes, 50 takes. And I just get yelled at. I can never do it right. I'm a producer. I know this. No, no, no.

It wasn't good enough. The lighting wasn't good. But I do, when you nail one that's frame worthy, Never do it right. I'm a producer. I know this. No, no, no. It wasn't good enough. The lighting wasn't good. The angle wasn't good. But I do, when you nail one that's frame worthy, you do feel proud. There's a sense of pride. Like, ooh, God. Add it to the IMDb. Add it to the movie credits.

You pick that filter? Give me your phone. I'm going to fix this. Yeah, I get it now. Well, we appreciate you coming through, man. Thank you very much. The movie is Bottom of the Ninth. Go check it out. Baseball fans, movie fans, it's going to be good man. The movie is Bottom of the Ninth. Go check it out.

Baseball fans, movie fans, it's going to be good stuff. Yeah, me versus Brian Wilson. Did you notice that was the beard? I couldn't put who it was. God damn it, it is Brian Wilson. Brian the Beard Wilson. He's put on a couple, huh? Brian the Beard Wilson.

Not that he lost weight. He was like a tank. He was like a monster. He looked like he had a little Feidelberg titty situation going on. This is him, deep character, man. Roger Peterson, the washed-up Cy Young. I can't believe I didn't place it. Son of a... Brian Wilson, man.

You want to talk about authentic. I was going to say. I was going to say. We did a podcast with him. We have a gnarly pitching battle at the end of the film between his character and my character. Very cool. You need a little Kirk Gibson there. Exactly, Kirk Gibson.

Yeah, very much. Yeah, totally. Thanks, man. Very cool. You need a little Kirk Gibson there. Exactly, Kirk Gibson. Yeah, very much. Yeah, totally. Thanks, man. All right. I mean, it's almost embarrassing how much I'm fanboying over John,

but after you hear that, you understand where I'm coming from? Yeah. You get it? He's the best, man. He's the best. He is.

He's so... I haven't followed him yet because I'm so nervous about getting a follow back. I feel like we earned it. Yeah, I... I don't know... You think he's going to... I don't followed him yet Because I'm so nervous About getting a follow back I feel like we earned it Yeah I I don't know You think he's gonna

I don't think he's gonna follow us I don't think he's gonna follow us I think we earned it But he's not gonna follow us I think Everyone tweeted Joe And tell him to follow us Yeah he'll love that

Please do that Yeah everyone harassed Joe Magnale And be like Be friends with Kevin and John Be friends with Kevin and John Honestly can everyone We never make requests You think this will work

It's almost like a girl. You've got to play it cool, though. No, we're not, because he's not going to listen to this. Don't say follow them, but can you just at us with him? Wow, that was such a good interview. Honestly, lots and lots of people are listening to this episode. Can just like 100 of you do it? Yeah, that would be great.

Please. Like a fraction. What an interview. Joe Manganiello, Feidelberg, and KFC were awesome. He's such a cool guy i didn't even notice about him until i listened so just just put it on our radar so he sees enough ads of us because he tweets he sees enough ads with us where he's like all right these guys it's like it's like please i'm dead serious please like glenn howerton likes us

because of that there are certain guys who noticed joe mckale liked us because he noticed how much people were reacting do that for Joe, for us, please. Please. Honestly, you know what earned us the follow? When he, I brought up Slam Ball, and he went like this. You know Slam Ball? He popped the eyebrow up. Did he? He was looking down.

If you're watching on goal, he was looking down. He was like, you know Slam Ball? He's like, yeah, I do. Nobody else asked you that question, did they? That's right, Joe. So, yeah, give us that follow joe all right uh we're also going to talk to another legend like i said bill bellamy that's another guy i want him to follow me too i like bill a lot actually one of the best things happened i'll

tell you this before you get in the interview after the interview in the hallway bill bellamy told us a story about how he's so famous he was so famous when he was a kid when he was doing mtv and he didn't know it he was overseas was he no he's in, when he was doing MTV, and he didn't know it. He was overseas. No, he was in Minnesota. He was in Minnesota, and at this point, MTV wasn't in everybody's house. So some people knew who he was, and some people didn't. He didn't know he was on MTV. Right. His friends and family didn't have MTV, so his neighborhood didn't think he was famous.

But he went to Minnesota, and everyone in the mall, like thousands of kids, were running up to him. And so he tells us this story because it's in his book that he's writing. And I go, dude, you were famous and you didn't even know it. And he's like, I like that. And I was like, that should be the name of your book. He's like, I think so. His publicist took out a pen and wrote it down. If Bill Bellamy's book is called I'm Famous and I Was Famous and Didn't Even Know It,

you already found that out. So let's talk to Bill right now. This interview is brought to you by Rough and Rowdy 9. Going to Fort Bragg, North Carolina this time. Red, White, and Bruised is the name. We got veterans. We got the hillbillies. We got Big Cat, Large, Robbie Fox.

We got guys fighting in jeans. We got people throwing haymakers. Nobody playing any defense. It's the most action-packed four hours of fun you will watch this year. It's the best pay-per-view you could possibly afford. If you're a Barstool Gold member, you're going to get it for free. If not, you can go to buyrnr.com now to learn how to

watch the fight, pay a little bit of money, get four hours of entertainment with your Barstool buddies and all these crazy hillbillies fighting. It's the easiest purchase and the most worthwhile pay-per-view you'll ever buy. Go to buyardr.com now. All right.

It's KFC Radio featuring the motherfucking legend Bill Bellamy. I'm in the building. What's happening? This is a big deal for me, man. Oh, thank you, boss. I'm a 90s kid. I'm up on you. Are you ever, bro?

I was there for you when you came home from school. Ninth grade. Dude, I'm telling you. The real MTV. I still talk about Rockin' Jock like every fucking day of my life. Nobody understands. Now they're talking about the big three. Like that's the newest thing that everyone's talking about.

But like Rockin' Jock was fun because it was all your celebrities that you liked. They were laughing, having a good time. And then we had like these amazing basket points. 25 points. Remember that? 50-point peach basket that was like 1,000 feet in the air? I remember Gary Payton had 175 points. And he played for both teams.

I don't know if you remember that. He played on my team, and then he went and switched teams at halftime and went on Dan's team and went ham. It was one of those. But you know what? The game kind of mattered. Obviously, it was silly, but it was like you were looking at the score and somebody went basket and was like, oh, shit. And one of the big guys would do something magnificent. I remember we had Ken Griffey Jr.

That's the first time I ever got dunked on in front of people. Ken Griffey Jr. set me up. It was a fast break, right? He had the ball. I'm like, I know I'm not going to let him do it. He's not going to get no bucket. He tried to. He went to

the hole, but then he just threw it backwards and J.R. Ryder was on the runway. I literally scuffed Mark at the top of my head. The place went crazy. I tried to play it off and act like I got out of the way, but

it was too late. I'm going to pull up that clip. I got dumped on by J.R. Ryder. That's such a perfect name for the 90s. People forget about J.R. Ryder. That's such a perfect name for the 90s. Yeah. People forget about J.R. Ryder. Other than Harold Miner. That's a badge of honor now.

Dude, no. Now it's awesome. Were you ever embarrassed about that? Of course. No. No, not like for real, but it was such a good dunk and it was such a good fake because, you know, you think baseball players are like a different kind of athlete, but they're athletes. Yeah, they can make a ball too.

Like King Grimby Jr. was a ridiculous athlete. Like, come on. My man was doing some freaking whoop, boof. Dude, like literally his sneaker hit the top of my forehead because he tucked his legs and went bam. I was like, ooh, that's official. They got, I promise you, if there

was social media, I would have been memed about a billion times. That's what I'm saying though. I'm going to put that back out there. You might still become a meme, bro. There's still time, man. There's still time. You could ball, too, though. You held your own for a non-professional. I love basketball.

And, you know, Rockin' Jock, that you brought that up, it's just so nostalgic. So me and Dan Cortez, we stay in contact. And we always think about, like, dude, we didn't even know what we were doing. We were young, and we were just a part of something that was exciting and you just felt like you fell into it just kind of like and people used to think that we really had a beef we made it up yeah really like we just made it all up like you know violators versus regulators regulators

and we we we have fun we did football yeah but see The other ones Basketball is Was the better one Like the softball was funny And he tried the other shit But rock and jock basketball So here's the thing dude Why don't you bring it back? I don't know

I think you would I think you would crush In this era I think in this era It would really crush Because We can add social media to it Yes

You're right And there's so much Blending of like Like why rock and jock Was so cool Is like you got to see a singer, an entertainer playing ball. Now everyone kind of does everything anyway.

Like it would work. But see, this is a thing. Dude, I'm telling, do it. Do it. Like you, like call up fucking Dan or do it yourself. And like, I'll help you. I just want Rockin' Jock back.

I can tell you want to play. Hell yeah, put me in, man. I still got one of my jerseys i i uh i'll get that i bet you i bet you i bet you people will probably spaz i have a couple of still my violator jerseys with my name on the back and then i have two of the footballs because they because we did baseball too i still got the jersey from baseball we used to do softball we did base no softball football and basketball and, no, softball, football, and basketball.

And it's crazy because you can't get those anymore. It's classic. You could sell that shit for like a billion dollars. A billion dollars. If you bring this back, and you guys,

Dwayne Wade's got that basement where he's got like a thousand jerseys. All this shit? That's the only one he wants. Just one. Because you can't get it anymore. It's just one of those things.

It's like one of one, dude. Yeah, I'm going to give it to my son, I think. But then he'll sell it. Thanks, Dad, but I'm putting this shit on eBay, man. Yo, you suck. I'm about to make some money. Like, literally, like, this is the difference between our generation,

your generation, and my son, right? My son's 13, right? So just imagine, like, all the stuff that we like that's nostalgic, now they can bid for it, like, on their phone. Like, my son's the StockX generation. You know what I mean? With sneakers.

It's dangerous, too, though. It's dangerous, right? Yo, those prices are no joke. They are real. But on the phone, it's so easy to just be like, yep, swipe it, click it, buy it. I told my son, you swipe, you die. He sent me some bomb, these bomb-ass J's. They're like the North Carolina Michael Jordan.

The threes? You know about them. Oh, yeah. But he marked out the price. I'm sure he did. I bet he did. He just was like, Daddy, swipe up. Don't look at that.

So it's crazy, man. But I'm excited. I'm in New York. I'm performing at Caroline's. So we were just on stage last night. Did you have a good time? We did. We crushed it.

It was our first time back on stage in three years. We, for whatever reason, just kind of took a hiatus. And I've been a little nervous about getting back on stage. So we did it. And the crowd was electric. The setup is awesome. It's nothing like live, right? No, yeah.

It's nothing like live. And that club is one of my, like, most personal clubs. Yeah. Because when I was coming up, you know, to play Carolines was, like, my goal. Like, to get a chance. Broadway, man. New York City. Yeah, like, it's number one in the city.

Everybody goes there. All the real names go there. And then, you know, you're coming up, you see names on the wall. You're like, I want to crazy walk in. You're like, son of a bitch. Yeah, right. Yeah. And everybody You're like, son of a bitch. Yeah, right? Yeah.

Everybody had their official poster with their headshots. Yeah, like the pool. Ours just had this fucking stupid cartoon on it. I was like, what are we doing? Yeah, exactly. I was like, oh, man. Two cool white guys. Not even cool. Just two white guys.

You're two white guys. You got on Uggs, you know. Cool J's, you know. It's all good. But yeah. So wait, did you start it out as a stand-up comic? Yeah, I started out doing stand-up here in the city. Actually, I started in Jersey, and I started coming to the city.

And, you know, this is when we had a lot of little small clubs, you know, where, you know, the new amateurs could get on, and you do five minutes, seven minutes, and they give you some french fries or soda or something. We had Catch a Rising Star. We still got the Cellar here. Cellar is one of the spots I used to go to but those were sort of known as the boot camps.

You go in there, you buy, you get your stuff together. You ain't getting in Caroline's until you got to act. Caroline's was like, you got to have an act. You can't just have a joke. You need to have some stuff to say. So when I finally,

you know, started making Headroom and, you know, from, you know, getting on HBO and next thing you know, I'm on Showtime and I'm like,

oh man, I'm starting to make moves. You know, I remember people saying, oh Bill, you on, you on. I was like, am I?

Because sometimes, sometimes when you're doing it, you don't feel it. How long was that between you grinding and you getting the HBO special and you getting the Carolines? When you said that, when you finally made Headroom, how long do you think that took? I want to say it was about three or four

years of just... Three or four years of grinding like that? Just eating french fries? I wasn't struggling in that way. I was struggling in the comedy game because at that time I had a regular job. So I was working doing it. When I graduated- What were you doing?

I was in sales. So I was a marketing manager for Leggett Meyers Tobacco Company at the time. I got an excellent job out of college, which was very corporate. It was heading, oh my God. Really? I can't picture Bill Bell and me, like, suit and tie type shit. It was such a great job, but for the wrong guy.

Yeah, yeah. You know, and I did it for two years. So I got out of college, and I was moonlighting at night coming over to the city and just, like, you know, getting up here, double parking my car, or, like, parking in a parking deck cost me $55. Remember that? Parking here is crazy.

And then I'd run, do a set, and then I'd try to shoot uptown to get a set, shoot back downtown, and then get to work. Did the people at work know that you were like a funny guy? I told a couple of my guys that worked with me that I wanted to be a comedian. They was like, really, dude? How you going to do that? I was like, yo, last night I was just in the East Village. They was like, oh, you go to New York? I was like, yo, last night I was just in the East Village. They was like, oh, you go to New York?

It was like I had a split personality. Yeah, I know that game. By day, I am the business corporate guy. By night, I'm this up-and-coming comedian, right? It's like Bruce Wayne and Batman type shit. Let me tell you what hit me, though, real talk. There's a comedian. He's still one of my guys, and he's the reason I quit.

His name was Reggie McFadden. I'll never forget this. Because the running joke used to be, Bill, you still got that job? Oh, you still got that job? Because they used to always tease me like, yo, Bill, you still got that job. You ain't no real comic. This is all you do. Right.

I'll never forget that. Reggie was like, you are not a real comedian until you give up everything to do this. You're pump faking right now. You're like a part-time. I said, oh man, that's crazy. It bothered me a little bit. Yeah, absolutely. You want to be taken seriously by the credibility. So he basically was saying,

you ain't make your full commitment. So I was like, yo, I'm going to quit my job right now. And how old are you? And I was going on, I was about to be 22. You're still a pop at that point. I'm still young. And I'll never on, I was about to be 22. Oh, okay, so you're still a pop at that point. I'm still young, and I'll never forget this, right? I had my resignation letter in my briefcase for a year. Today's the day.

Today's the day. Every day I was scared to do it because I was like, I got to make a leap. So I'll never forget this, right? And this is a testament to anybody who ever dreamed about anything. You do have to make a leap, and you've got to make a choice. You can't straddle on certain things. Some things you've just got to go yay and nay, right? So I remember.

Was it ever considered that you would take just the stand-up? I mean, just the job. Let me tell you why. Let me tell you what happened. So what happened was I was on a fence, on the fence, on the fence. And this is where I knew I had to make a choice. I got an opportunity for a better job at that company.

So get this. My boss calls me, and whenever your boss calls you and you're nervous, like, what did I do wrong? So shout out to my man Mike Rossi. So Mike Rossi, Italian guy, you know, buy the book guy, love Mike. Mike was my boss and his boss was like

way up there, right? So Mike was like, look kid, I got an opportunity of a lifetime. Oh no. This is crazy. He was like, listen, we're going to send you back to school. Okay, you can go back and get your MBA on us and then when you finish that MBA, there's going to be

a position to open up for you where you're going to be the regional guy. You almost don't want to hear that because it's like I'm trying to do the stand-up thing but now you dropped this on my lap. Now he's happy. It's going to be an opportunity. He thinks that you're about to praise him and thank him. They're covering all the bases.

Young, black, great opportunity. This is like unheard of. And I'm going, oh, my God. What does that mean? I said, what does the responsibilities entail? He was like, well, first of all, you're going to be traveling a lot. You're going to have a bigger budget.

You're going to be really the top guy in marketing because that's what I went to school for. And I was like, the top guy? That's not as hard as fuck. Why would I want to be the top guy? Can't I be like next over to the corner so I don't have to do it? Because there was no, I got sick to my stomach, because I knew if I took that job, I could never do stand-up. I remember, I was just like, I got to quit. There's no way.

And I just pulled it off. I said, Mike, I can't do this. So as they offered you the promotion, you handed the resignation. Because I knew I couldn't do it. That's a great story, though, because that's what it's like. Dude, I got sick. I knew I got sick. I got nauseous.

I got nauseous thinking about I can't do stand-up or do what I want to do because this job was going to take me another way. So I had to cut. I literally had to make my choice on the spot. You know what else probably got nauseous? Your parents. They were probably like, no, stick with that fucking promotion. Stick with that job, you idiot. When I told my parents about this opportunity and I told them I didn't take it, they thought

I was crazy. My mom was like, what the fuck? Worked out pretty well, though, mama. It was a good shot. It was definitely worth it. And what I want to inspire anybody about it was what was beautiful about it was all the pressure was off me. Like, I didn't feel nauseous. I felt great.

And then once that happened, here it comes, HBO. Here comes Def Jam. Here comes MTV. It was like boom, boom, boom, boom. It looked like I shot out of a camera. Yeah, man. But sometimes that's what it takes. You make that jump and it all falls into place.

What would you say is your biggest accomplishment, I'm going to say, I'm going to give you three to pick from. Being like the face and the founder and the star of Rock and Jock. Inventing the phrase booty call. That's awesome. Or apparently not fucking aging at all because you look exactly the goddamn same. I know. I love not aging at all. Because you look exactly the goddamn same. I know. I love not aging at all.

Like Black Don't Crack has never been better personified than you right now. I'm Benjamin Button's personified, right? Yeah, dude. It's wild. So you literally coined the phrase booty call. I coined the phrase booty call. That is some influential shit. Like, hang on.

And I'm coming from a place of the wrong here. Did you coin it? Did you copyright it? did you copyright it? I didn't trademark it and do all that because at that time who was thinking that anything that I would say would stick like that I was doing that joke in a club

I was killing that joke, that joke was my closer bro that was the one I did on Def Jam because I was like yo this is killing in the clubs and I'm going to do this on TV and I'm going to be on fire when real people see, like, all the people in the world see this because it was killing in the

clubs. But I was... So wait, what exactly is the joke? Just like you had a girl come over and it's my booty call. Like, the punchline was booty call? The joke is what you're doing for the booty. If you watch the joke, I'm calling chicks. This is back in the day like when you would call. We the booty. If you watch the joke, I'm calling chicks. This is back in the day, like, when you would call. Now you got phones, you slide.

But back in the day, you had a Rolodex, and you go, and you would just be like, in the name, be like, yo, Kim, let me call Kim. Because that's the way guys would do. Like, I just had this new apartment, and I'm like, you know, I was literally speaking what a single man is doing, trying to get some booty on a Friday night. Because, you know, you're trying to get chicks to come by. And they all

got excuses. This one's got kids. This one right here, she's got to study. But this chick right here want to come, but she's going to bring her ugly friend. But you just, you just, you just suck it up. Somebody got to get the grenade. So I was doing this joke over and over in the clubs.

But then when it hit HBO, is it a booty call? When you watch it on YouTube, you see the crowd go, oh. That's when you know it's a hit. And it took off. The dunk contest reaction. Yeah, it got the dunk. And then now, 20-some years later, people still saying it. I mean, like that is –

It comes up every day. I didn't even know that like a person came up with it. It's like part of the language. It's just part of the lexicon. Like I didn't know that one guy actually started it. You. You're the boss. Shakespeare.

That's Shakespeare. Yeah, give me some fucking hinting at shit. Hard, bro. That is actually – You got to think of shit sometimes. Yeah, man. I got a new one i got it i got another one i got another haymaker yeah you got one you got one in the holster it's time now it's

trademarked i got another one i got a haymaker oh i got a haymaker so gangster man but you know you live and you learn you know what i mean like that time, I was so young and not even knowing, just wanted to get on, you know? And you don't know, like, a joke is going to last forever. Right. You know, as a comic, you would love for any of your jokes to be evergreen, where, like, Richard Pryor funny. You could put on a Richard Pryor joke right now,

it's as funny as it was in 1978 right now. You know what I mean? Because the subject matter, how he delivered it, that's a dream for any comic to have just one. But if you can get a couple of them, gangster. Yeah, man. That's when you next level type shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got to do that Hall of Fame stuff. We were just on radio yesterday talking about your cousin, Shaquille O'Neal. Yes. And we were specifically talking about the time he grabbed the mic in that club and dropped the Kobe have my ass taste taste oh my god freestyle yeah that is like the most underrated sports moment ever we should talk about that every fucking day first of all I remember where I was when I heard it that's that's that's it's one of those where were you Oh my God. Let me tell you, my phone was on fire, right? I was in LA.

I was going home. I was driving on Mulholland. I'll never forget this. And I forgot who called me. But somebody close was like, yo, Shaq went in last night. In on him. And I said, what? Because this is where it was so volatile

yeah it was like the energy in LA and Shaq was like nah we good we good we good I ain't tripping off of Kobe and I thought it was like

I kind of thought he was just kind of sweeping it under the rug right and then out of nowhere he dropped and the verse was hot

yeah no we listened to the whole thing and it was like yo he was he was freestyling I forgot about that Out of nowhere He dropped And the verse was hot Yeah no We listened to the whole thing And it was like Yo he was He was freestyling I forgot about that I forgot about how good The whole thing was

Yo remember the He dropped bars though And the way he said it too Tell me how my ass tastes Like so like So petty with it It was great I wish you could play it right now

Can we Can we pull it Let me pull it up Can we pull it up I mean it was It's literally And I feel like the young kids don't know. They don't know about rock and jock.

They don't know about that fucking freestyle. I think it was one of the most prolific things to happen in sports that gave the real fans a moment of truth. It was two titans of the game. Yeah. Fucking hating each other. Hating each other. And publicly rapping and telling him to ask. I wonder where he was though

more rings than me Rings to me. Timmy Hammer. That's the difference between first and last place. Kobe, give me a... Give me a... It's so good. And like of all people, Kobe has so much pride and he's so serious. But there's no way you can beat that. No, it's over. And I'm surprised he doesn't get clowned more for that. He's lucky he went on to win his own rings and shit too because that would stick with you man oh and again you know him he's like he can't he doesn't want anybody thinking less of him and say like oh yeah i didn't really mean nothing but get the

fuck out of here that was like man i just just forgot about how crazy that was. If that was doing social media, that would have been a 50 million viral. Forget it. Because that had to get leaked to the internet somehow, but we didn't have social media. Yeah, I don't even remember how I first saw it. I would imagine like TMZ was still around. I heard about it on the phone. I heard about it on the phone.

Somebody had called me, was like, yo, your cuz just went in. And I was like, what? What'd he do? What'd he do? And then I thought they had a fight. Yeah. You know, or something. Did he ever say anything to you directly about that?

Oh, yeah. What'd he say? He was like, it was real. Yeah. I mean, he ain't going to tell the truth in real life. But I'm saying, like, in the media, he was always really, really, you know, sort of playing a PC part about it. No, no, no.

You know, Kobe, we friends. We do, do, do, do, do, do. But then when the whole thing went down and stuff went crazy and then he just went in. Where are they at now? Do you know? I think they're both good now. Like for real. Like I think now.

It's like you and Dan Cortez. Yeah. Like I think, you know, when you're young and you're both, you know, trying to find your place in the world, you conflict because they're both alpha males. You know what I'm saying? You got the big, big, big, big guy that's powerful and strong. You got Thanos. And then you got Iron Man. It's two different kind of strengths.

You know what I mean? For sure, man. Yep. And Shaq came. This is when Shaq was just dominating the game. So, I mean, how do you tell Shaq to, like, relax? No. You don't tell Shaq to do anything.

You ask. Yeah, you maybe suggest, and he will decide whether he does it. I don't remember. He was just smacking people. Yeah. That one clip where he dunks and then he shoves Chris Dudley to the floor is the most disrespectful thing that's ever happened on a basketball court. That was worse than J.R. Ryder dunking on you.

I don't know if you remember this, but Shaq was one of the reasons that they stopped dudes from hanging on the rim. Yeah, because he used to pull the whole fucking thing down. And then they changed how the, because he broke a couple of the NBA rims. I don't know if y'all remember this. He broke a couple of them, and it delayed games. Yeah.

I mean, he used to collapse the whole thing down. He brought the whole thing down, and it was all like an accordion. So they stopped. Not when you dunk, it's a tech if you hang. Yeah, because of him. Because of him, yeah. When you change the game is when you know you were that dominant.

He was doing too much. It's like you changed the game inventing the phrase booty call. Yeah, you know what I mean? And I got a lot of stuff on deck, man. A new movie called The Great Illusion that you guys will see. And it's really serious. It's a serious film. It's about human trafficking.

Oh, shit. We're in a time right now. Unfortunately, there's a lot to fucking talk about. But what's crazy about it is I don't think most people realize how bad of a problem it is. It's pretty underground. It's underground. No one's talking It's like, it's pretty underground. It's underground. No one's talking about it, but it's going on.

The sex trafficking and the human trafficking thing is, is, is, is really at a point of like scariness. So, you know, if you know girls and people just ask, see if they okay.

Cause like, that's what I heard. Like the airlines, like they have to all, they're all the stewards. They're trained to like learn how to spot someone. Like spot things. You're supposed to ask for like the – I used to fly with a child.

You have to have like a fucking ton of paper. Of ID and stuff because it could be some weird stuff. I literally – trip me out a couple weeks ago. I had a message on the back of my hotel door about it. If you see someone tell somebody or call another. Ain't that crazy? That means it's happening everywhere. So the film

is basically I'm playing an undercover cop and I'm on a case and we really have been tracking this guy over maybe 10 to 15 years. He's sort of like a serial guy

where he has a pattern that we track how he's moving. And he only strikes at certain times and we figured out the pattern. This sounds good. Yeah. Fire. It's deep. It's deep.

People are into that shit now these days. Those type of cases. People are going to be like, yo, Bill Bellamy's serious because I'm dead ass serious. I'm not laughing and joking personal guy yeah

how hard is it to like study for that role like I can't imagine like I'd be like this is too fucked up yeah yeah you're learning about like the worst of humanity

first you gotta you gotta learn about it which is already like crazy but then also you gotta think about what position you're playing I'm like

I'm trying to save somebody so you know I think of my position you're playing. I'm like, I'm trying to save somebody. So, you know, I think of my kids, you know, and people's kids. Like, you know, if that happened, like, what would we do? Like, and so I'm like, I'm really on some Superman shit trying to find, catch this person and shut it down. So that's the energy I have about it. It's not a game. It's like, yo, I'm trying to save lives, bro. You know what I mean?

So I'm on some gangster shit. I like that because it's a different type of Bill Belk. Yeah, man. I mean what I mean? So I'm on some gangster shit. I like that because it's a different type of Bill Belichick. It's very versatile. A lot of different sides to you. So you put together a very impressive career, man. Obviously still killing it. Be on stage this weekend at Caroline's. Yes. And I'm glad

I got a chance to kick it with you guys. I'm really happy. Open invite. We'd love that. Bring that jersey next time and maybe just let me hold it for a while. Let's hold it. See when it get online. I like the podcast world to me. I think it's really different. You know what I'm saying?

You should have a podcast. Everyone keeps telling me that. I know, but it's true. You got the charisma to do it. Because the thing is, now everyone does have a podcast, so it's very hard to cut through. But when you have the personality and the charisma that you have, it will cut through. I would hope so. But I think it's a wonderful way to talk to your fans.

Yeah. It's the most honest. It seems so dope. It's almost like MTV now for guys who got a point of view. You know what I mean? You get a chance to express yourself. You don't have to wait to get. With a podcast, I feel like you don't have to wait for somebody to discover you.

You discover yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's some deep shit right there. Yeah. You figure you learn a lot about yourself when you're talking.

Yeah. You'll be like, I'm on some bullshit. We appreciate it, bro. I love you guys. I love you guys. Make sure you go see Bill Carolines and anytime you want to come through,

open invite. We got you. Thank you so much, Bill. One love. Peace. All right. Big thank you to Bill Bellamy. Please bring back Rockin' Jock. Big thank you to Joe through open invite. We got you. Thank you so much, Bill. One love. Peace. All right. Big thank you to Bill Bellamy.

Please bring back Rockin' Jock. Big thank you to Joe Maganello. Also, please bring back Slam Ball. Please pay you. And absolutely. I need so much money from Bill Bellamy. From the book title

to the Rockin' Jock. As a guy who didn't get money for Booty Call, I imagine there's zero cents heading your way. It's probably not going to translate. I got nothing for the other thing. I'm taking all of the money now.

But a guy can ask, just like we can ask Joe to follow us. Do it, Joe. That's it for us. Turn around. Look at what you see. In her face. The mirror of your dream make believe I'm everywhere given in the light

written on the pages is the answer to a never-ending story. I reach the stars. Lie of fantasy. Dream a dream. And what you see will be. Sun and kingdom's vanguards will unfold behind the clouds.

And there upon a rainbow is the answer to our never-ending story. Story. Soaring