KFC Radio - Joel McHale, Taylor Tomlinson, We Get an Inside Scoop on Call Her Daddy's Suitman, and MGK & Megan Fox

Episode Date: May 21, 2020

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review! Let us know what you want us to do for Top 5 Tuesday! We kick off the show talking about the developments in the Call Her Daddy drama and we get some info from an inside source regarding Suitman. We talk about Joe Rogan's upcoming move to Spotify and what that means for the podcast industry. MGK finally dropped his Bloody Valentine music video starring Megan Fox and as a surprise to no one it's awesome. We answer a DM asking how a guy can tell his wife she's getting fat in quarantine. Let us know what you think he could say. AITA Thursday includes a dedication to OJ Simpson, role play, and sex life over family. Voicemails include life as a movie genre, price to be on a tattoo show, and being nice to strangers. (01:15:00) Joel McHale returns to the show. He tells us about trying to teach his kids in quarantine, why he pushed to be busier now than he's ever been in his career, he calls back to Feits' trying to date a princess, and much more. Check out his podcast The Darkest Timeline, the CW show Stargirl, his upcoming movie Becky, an animated Mortal Kombat and more from him. (01:45:13) Taylor Tomlinson joins the show. We discuss how quarantine pushed her and her boyfriend to create content together, whether or not she would ever do a zoom comedy show, growing up catholic, and we create possibly our best show idea with her. Check out Taylor's stand up special on Netflix Quarter Life Crisis, her podcasts Self-Helpless and This is Important to Me with Sam Morrill. As always, let us know what you think of the podcast and follow along on twitter. @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @Feitsbarstool @TaylorTomlinson @JoelMcHale Subscribe to our Youtube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/user/KFCradio Follow Us on Instagram Here: https://www.instagram.com/kfcradio/You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Podcast Network. Big fucking week for podcast news. Joe Rogan goes exclusive on Spotify for what I am hearing is a hundred million dollars a year. Uh, the call me daddy news earlier in the week. Like, I mean, it's, you can't have two bigger pieces of podcasting news in a week. And I'll tell you this much, John, if I had a gig for one hour per week, making minimum 500 grand. And I look at something like Joe Rogan and said, man, you know, if I did this for like five years or 10 more years, I could have like a exclusive

deal for tens of millions of dollars per year. And I fucked it all up by overplaying my hands and holding my boyfriend's pocket i would kill myself i would kill myself i don't know if i'd kill myself but i'll tell you what i would do i'd release a better video than that piece of shit that was that was the fucking watching that was one of the more painful things i've ever been through in my life and it was like, because I never have someone who's shitty at storytelling. You don't think you'll like, but you're like, I'm actually interested in you right now. Like, tell it better because I want to hear it. And she's like, so anyway, and then it just got to the point where. Things happened and I can't and it would be like a completely different fucking room,

like not even trying to pretend it looked like one cut like just piss poor editing and it's like it felt like she was telling a story where it was like at a rap battle and it was like yo yo yo yo

this dude right here it's like say the interesting part say the interesting part say the interesting part I felt like I was in Front row at a barstool Blackout tour Play that shit Dante I just kept jumping the whole time It was a god damn disaster

It makes me think Maybe I was too hard on Peter Nelson Maybe he just fucking He's not working with clay He's trying to build a statue Out of a pile of shit Maybe I was too hard on Peter Nelson. Maybe he just fucking, he, he's, he's not working with clay. He's trying to build a statue on like a pile of shit. And if he got her one meeting, maybe, maybe this guy is impressive. Well, I don't know. Honestly, that,

that makes me think less of Peter Nelson because like when you're in a relationship, right? Let's say you're dating somebody and they come to you and they're like, I just like love making my music. Like, I'm going to like try to be I'm going to try to make it big. And you're like, okay, honey. But like you fucking stick, you know, like, so you're, you're, you're, you're positive and you give them, you know, kind words of encouragement, but you don't go sticking your neck out on the line at your work when you know if your girl doesn't have the goods. I mean, that guy has to know that she doesn't have what it takes, right? It was, I mean, I guess so. I don't know. I don't know. You gotta know.

You gotta know. I mean mean you watch that instant like i know i know that it's not for us we're not the demo i'm a guy i'm older i'm washed up i know that you know girls that age talk that way with their voice and the focal fry and the inflection and the and so i get it but also if you watch that instagram story if you didn also, if you watch that Instagram story, if you didn't know, if you watch that Instagram story, you said this is the biggest female podcaster on the planet. You'd be like, what the fuck? It's crazy. They made it there as is, let alone broker backroom deals for her. It's like, just fucking leave it be. Let it be. Between that and the, uh, and just the, what this fucking dude looks like.

I'm like so upset. I was ever like intimidated by them where it's like, like, like they used to be in the office. They used to be like, Oh shit, those girls are here. And it reminds me of the, the Chris rock skit with Jermaine Dupri.

Cause we were always like, like, dude, like they're like, those girls are the hot girls. They don't talk to us. We're all the fucking loser bloggers. And then you see this dude and you're like, oh, we had a chance

the whole time. Straight up, here's a fact. Here's a fucking fact for you right now. I have multiple mental issues that affect my self-esteem and I will tell you that I am hotter than that dude. Yo, yo, for John Henry Feidelberg to tell you that he's more attractive than someone,

that's a big fucking deal. And that's not a testament to that, it's a testament to Peters. Straight up, you have a more successful contest than me. I have better lovers than you. That's just a fact. It's just a fact, dude. That's why you had to call him fucking Soup Man, which is

such bullshit when you see him. That's like just dating a girl and being like, yeah, I got an IG girl. No, man, your girl has an Instagram. Right, she has an Instagram account. She's not an IG girl. You're not a suit, dude. You put on a suit, but that's about it. Somebody said that it looks like

his face has been injected with cement. Bro, it's like my girlfriend telling people that she dates a hockey player because I played in a few beer games. Right, right. No, no, no. This dude, this is like, he,

here's the analogy, he is a suit man like an IG girl like you as far as like that comparison goes you get you have a locked account and you get like triple digit likes on birthday posts that's about it

that's where like that's what your level would be an IG girl like a suit man fuck out of here by the way the amount of people coming out of that's what your level would be in IG, bro. Fuck out of here. The, by the way, the amount of people coming out of the woodwork now got multiple texts,

offers reaching out. I've got the right girl. I've got the perfect fit. Hey, I'd love to join your network. I'm like, I bet you fucking would. I bet you would. After you hear about the kind of money that's floating around for this shit. But I don't know. I mean,

it's funny. I think it's replaceable, but not just like any old person. You know what I mean? So I think it's going to be an interesting process to figure out where it ends up. But to be as big as they were in year one, I would never say that those girls can get on Joe Rogan's level because I don't know if anybody can get on Joe Rogan's level. But I think the sky was the limit with that, and it just got fucking chopped out from underneath them. It's crazy how much.

I mean, I'm sure one or two of them will be fine, however it works out. But man, they just played their fucking card? You know what? It took me a moment to realize, too, by the way, that they do one hour a week. Yeah, it's pretty good. Can you imagine making $500,000 for 52 hours? It's a good breakdown. Although, as we do know now, too, a one-hour podcast takes them like six hours.

So it is, I guess, a little bit more work. But still, when you're doing one podcast a week for 500 grand and you find a way to ruin it, I hate to be like, you know, millennial this or younger generation that, but it's like, well,

they're like our age, aren't they? I think I would guess 27, which I count as in my age range. Uh, that's, that's more in your age range, but I'm almost 10 years older than that.

Okay. Well, I was just saying like, don't hate our class. You can hate that, those individuals, but come on. You know what I mean?

It's like, you know, it's like, how does something like this happen? And it's like, I think this is like two people who like never had any problems, never had any concerns and always just like wanted more and more and more. And like, just couldn't recognize a fucking good thing.

Guys, I got some news. News, news, news, news, news, news, news, news, news, news, news. All right. We are jumping back in here because we were later in the episode. Just got some inside sources. Sources news about about nelson uh let's see let's start off with just the obvious but uh sources you know we knew it but getting confirmation is is a different story sources at hbo tell us that he's just an absolute laughingstock of the company. It doesn't matter what production they're talking about, what

part of the company it's talking about. Every Zoom call involves a bashing. Which is like, I don't feel bad. No, I don't feel bad at all. Come on. I mean, this guy, you know this

type. He's the fucking, we did it already. I'm ancient Greek and I'm out on my phone and I'm above you and I'm better than you. And it's like, everybody fucking hated you and was waiting for the chance to laugh at you and you handed it to them on a silver fucking platter, dude. So go off HBO, make fun of them all you want.

But despite that, he's probably not going to get fired, even though you probably just want to get fired at this point. You probably got a pretty nice severance set up. He's probably like, dude, get me the fuck out of here. We were talking about how the relationship probably needs to end because everyone's being mean to you. If everyone's being mean to you at work, you've got to go get a new job. If that guy doesn't quit, he's fucking crazy.

But some of the higher-ups at the sports side like him, so he's probably not going to get fired. But the top, top HBO people, not happy, Kevin. Not happy, especially if he was dating Sofia during that Barcelona. Wait, because it's not just that it's like a bad look. It's like, well, now you might be doing something that's like literally against the rules and unethical and all that shit. Like you can't be fucking someone and try to sign them and bring them on board

HBO and all that shit. Yeah, you got to put out something. I can't think of the words. It's a... Don't know it. What is it? Describe it to me. Describe it to me.

You have to make a note when you're involved in something. Full disclosure? Full disclosure. There it is, baby. I love how you said, you have to, what is it? You know what I'm saying. You have to. I said, just journalistically, you probably should have, you know.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Full disclosure, I'm dating so-and-so. But also, final note, sources believe he was pushing a uh hbo show to a car daddy show to hbo but since he's on hbo sports original programming people do not give a fuck about him and told him get the fuck out of here we don't give a shit could you imagine being like in control of like game of thrones and uh barry and you know curb and being like i gotta talk to the guy who's like dealing with brian gumbel and fucking like get the fuck out of here dude i gotta talk to the guy who like just everyone hates because he didn't he got rid of boxing right right yeah i mean i'll handle the fucking original production

production all right how many how many people in the world get their HBO subscription for HBO Sports? I would think there's like six left, and it's your grandfather. I don't even – I think there's too many. You get HBO for the movies. Nope, that's FX. Sorry. Well, it's not an advertiser. Fuck you.

But the FX movie channel is like the best movie channel in the whole world. If you want to watch a mindless fucking action movie on a Saturday afternoon, you go to FXM. But the, but yeah, like, like, Hey dude,

do you look around this room? I don't have any fucking paint on my walls. Cause it's just Emmys. I didn't even bother putting anything. Don't tell me what to do with my original programming imagine if like fucking i don't i'm not i'm trying to think of like a barstool like similar type deal but like i don't know like if sales went to pitch something to dave but they're like i think you should do this they would be like i think you should shut

the fuck up i'll do what i want to do How about that? You can give me the product and then I'll make my fucking advertisement for it. Right, right. You can't tell me what the fuck to do. Although, that being said, I think about growing up on Howard Stern, Wild On, and like scrambled porn. If you're like a young kid, I mean, I guess you have porn at your fingertips. But if you could just turn on HBO and there's just like two young sluts fucking talking about drooling on dicks at that age, I would have been like, oh, HBO is where it's at. When I was younger, I was watching real sex and that was old people having sex

in the fucking backyard. That was like finding homeless people and being like, hey, you guys do sex? I'm like, yeah, we do sex. I was like, yeah! Let's watch! Let's see it yeah well uh you know couldn't happen to a worse guy so i'm sleeping soundly uh i mean where do you go though like you know can you just be like all right i'll go to showtime and it's all good or are you like fucked i don't know i don't i don't know good luck p't know. Good luck, Pete. Hey! Back to our original programming. Joe, the Rogan deal, I don't know for sure,

but when I heard $100 million, and everyone thought that sounded total, and I was like, well, if Bill Simmons gets $250, Joe Rogan deserves like $500. And then I started hearing through, I got a couple of friends in finance and in business that heard it was a hundred a year. A couple of the comedians I know told me it was a hundred a year.

I mean, that is, that makes more sense than a hundred total, which is crazy. Right. A hundred million dollars per year makes more sense than not. That's when you know, you're a fucking G.

And he probably, I think there was a viral tweet the other day that was like, Joe Rogan's a billion-dollar company. I mean, he has to be. It's just Joe Rogan. Right. Dude, he gets 190 million downloads a month. That's insane. It's a crazy number. It's crazy. When I saw that, I was like, nah, they must have meant per year or whatever. Nope, per month. $190 million a month.

And I think the main thing for that is video is off of YouTube at the end of the year. That's crazy. Yeah, but still clips. I don't know. I'm not sure. No, you said clips. Clips will be on YouTube? Yeah.

Or clips will be on Spotify. Short clips will be on YouTube. Okay course spotify short clips will be on youtube okay all right that makes it that makes a big difference then um but and and he retains everything so like pay me a couple hundred million dollars a year at the end of our deal i just go back to normal i said on my video today joe rogan is the modern American dream like he just he was trying to do it legit like he probably went on auditions and got the news radio job

and he was doing Fear Factor how big was news radio? I know you talk about it a lot, is that just because we were kind of first started? I know the show, I've seen episodes and stuff and I liked it I think it was like part of I want to think it was huge. I think it was part of... I want to say it was like NBC must-see TV

back when Friends and Cypher was killing it. I think they were maybe not on the same night, but it was like a primetime network sitcom, which back then used to be... Right. If it's that class, that was almost like the era before me in really loving TV. I was alive for it. Like that was the office 30 rock parks and rec. Right. Which, and you know, maybe, maybe, you know,

it wasn't friends in Seinfeld, but it would be, you know, community or like one or the other, like lesser, but still, still big. And he kind of had a bit role there and was probably trying to do it all legit. And then he just like stumbles into ufc as that's becoming the biggest sport in america and he's dumb i stumble sounds rude because like maybe he had more to do with it but the timing of it like ufc is blowing up i'm there to do it podcasting is there to blow up like i'm the one doing it and now you get 100 million dollars a year did you the dude just presses, talks about doing hallucinogenics, talks about his dog, smokes some weed,

does a couple, you know, asks a few questions, chats it up with his friends, $100 million a year. It's nice. It's fucking insane. Like, I would never say that Joe Rogan doesn't work hard because he does, but like, not, you know,

it's like Dave amassed $100 million, right? But he like poured his heart and soul and he had to like grind it for 20 years. And like, I feel like Joe Rogan was just kind of like, I like UFC. I'll talk about it. I'll talk to my friends on camera. I disagree with

that. I feel like everyone always talks about like, he just doesn't stop. Yeah, but I'm saying I feel like he has cultivated this gig where it's like I only do what I want to do. Like I don't think Joe Rogan's ever like, I got to do the podcast because he's like, today I'm going to talk to a guy who like fucking built the pyramids. I'm like, that's what I want to do today. And like, yeah, I got to go to work today and watch these UFC fights. I don't think Joe Rogan has ever, at least recently, agreed to do a single thing he doesn't want to do today. And like, yeah, I got to go to work today and watch these UFC fights. I don't think Joe Rogan has ever, at least recently,

agreed to do a single thing he doesn't want to do. I don't know. I think you're probably thinking of him like people probably think of us. Like there are some days like the podcast is just like, I don't want to do it right now. And you do. There's definitely, like us, most days he's happier than not. Like most days it's his perfect job. But there are definitely

I'd say once a week, Joe's like, fuck, I don't want to do this right now. I guess, but if I was making anywhere near the money he's making to do it, I don't think I'd ever complain. I know for a fact I would. I would complain. There's a 100% chance I'd complain. It's what I do. You don't think you would be like, fuck, I gotta do the podcast. Wait a minute, I'm gonna make $10 million to do it. Absolutely. I would complain.

It's all relative. If I have $90 million and you're gonna give me another $5 million, fuck it, I don't want to do it. That's nothing compared to what I have. Here's something that I've learned. You're never gonna win. You're never going to win.

You're never going to be happy. It's never going to be like content. It's not going to happen. It's not. You're never going to be like, I do enough. I make enough and I can live and I'm fine. It's never going to happen because you're always going to be comparing yourself to new peers. And guess what?

Now Joe Rogan has new peers because he's in a new class. So now he's comparing himself to fucking like what numbers apple as a whole is doing and he's not going to be happy and it's just like you're never going to be happy it's fucking stop trying it's you're never just going to be content to go to work every day and shit like that because you're going to have someone new to compare yourself to and they're going to be better than you and i guess that's how a competitor works where you're like all right no i i want to be that size i want to be as big as that podcast and it's gonna drive you fucking nuts but it's it's just how it's gonna be and you're only going to be so slightly content when you accept that that you're not going to be content

that was part two of college is a four-year funeral for your dreams like not much has changed about like four or five years later. It's the same, though. It's like now I have dreams. I want to be bigger. I'm just chasing it every time. You're still in the rat race. It's always there.

It's always there. It's never going anywhere. Well, I was going to ask you, right? I think that's right there. I was going to ask you what your words of advice to the class of 2020 would be. And I feel like you just did it. I feel like that would be it. You're never going to be happy.

You're always going to be comparing. And then you die. That's not as depressing as it sounds. Just because you're never going to be happy because you don't want to be. You don't want to be content. What you're describing is very like buddhist like like very zen where it's like if you just let go of wanting and desiring and comparing then you'll be happy but you won't because it's just not how the human brain works and the human body works you're going to and you'll

get lucky right and then you'll get the new job and guess what on that floor is someone else you like fuck that dude's a little better than me and that dude gets a little more respect than me and always it's going to happen every time and now joe rogan is comparing himself to fucking companies instead of people but he's gonna start comparing himself yeah but that's where i wonder if i would be like i think there's probably some sense of whatever release or Zen of being like, I am the single best podcaster on the planet. Probably for about a day. Probably about a day.

And then, and then cause it's like crack, right? Then you need a new hit. You're like, well, fuck. Always chasing the dragon.

Always chasing the high, you know? Well, that's in a weird way depressing yet inspirational all at the same time. Yeah, I don't mean it to be depressing. I'm not like, I'm not doing it in like a, oh, it sucks sense. Like, I think it's fine. I'd be bored if I wasn't doing that. If I wasn't like always kind of thinking about what's next. Well, really, when you think about it, ambition is that, right? Ambition is inherently going to

be comparing and looking up and looking ahead and always trying to achieve. But you could think of it in a toxic way of why you always compare yourself to those people. But also, that's how you decide what you want to achieve and where you want to get. Right. There are definitely times it can be over the top, and sometimes I'm like, I wish I didn't do this, and there are other times I'm like, I feel like a loser because I just go,

I can never be Joe. And then I'm like, just fucking snap out of it. Yeah, you can. Right. And so it's like... Or you should at least try to be Joe and fall where you may, but if you just don't even give it a shot, then, you know, you're a fucking asshole. Right. Then you're just a bum.

I like that. We got, we got, what do we got? What did we decide for interviews today? We got. Taylor Tomlinson. Taylor Tomlinson, the youngest female comic to ever have a Netflix special. Dating Sam Morrill, hanging out in quarantine. Very funny conversation with her. Joel McHalerill, hanging out in quarantine. Very funny conversation

with her. Joel McHale. Joel fucking McHale back on KFC Radio just doing interviews in the only way he knows how to do them where he just fucking makes us uncomfortable and makes fun of us. We've had two big interviews. Gotta give an enormous shout out to

Machine Gun Kelly. New videos out. We knew it was coming. He said, be on the lookout. You guys, you got to see whose foot that is stepping on my face in the artwork. And then we saw who he was hanging out with. And we did a little creepy comparison on Google foot images. And we knew it was going to be Megan Fox.

But that video, she saw it. You could probably say I'm a prisoner of the moment type deal. Because I'm saying that's the hottest I've ever seen of Megan Fox. And there are lists of other times to see it. But I truly believe

this, that there's no sexier version of a girl or a woman than just like rocking out. Right. Because that's like primal shit where it's just like, fuck it. There's no dance moves or shit like you see Shakira fucking her hips don't lie. That's sexy. You see twerking. That's sexy. You see, I don't know, a girl spinning in a daisy field. That's sexy to country music. Sarah McLlan maybe It's all sexy it turns out a woman's body Moving is attractive but There's nothing better

Than just the straight up like Let loose going bananas Cause that's I agree with that but I also believe that that punk rock Shit is right up your alley Of her music I mean when I showed Let me tell you folks something.

I showed John Henry the picture of Selena Gomez, and he was like, where she shaved her fucking head. What'd you say to me? I said, I didn't need to see your head. I saw the hair on the floor and said, hot. Like, every other guy

in the world is like, don't ever cut your hair long hair is beautiful longer hair is always sexier you might be able to pull off the bald look but why would you and then there's john who's like let me rub that cue ball baby let me rub that beach fuzz head it is more like than the the look itself it's the look inside it provides. Oh, you're the kind of girl who would do that. Fuck, yes. I get that. I get that.

That's still a fucking hell of a move. I think she went off the deep end secretly, or maybe not even so secretly, with Bieber. I feel like she's just fucking out there. But if she ain't careful, Colson, MGK, is going to scoop her up too. MGK goes from fucking Halsey to Kate Beckinsale to Summer Rae to Megan Fox in a calendar year. In a calendar year in which we're in May.

It's not yet. For two of those months, you weren't allowed to see anybody. That all started in 2020, didn't it? For two of those months, you weren't allowed to see anybody. Yeah. Yeah. Like that all, that all started like 2020, didn't it? I wrote, I wrote the blog about Cape Beckinsale. Yeah. No more than a couple of months ago being like, what the fuck is going on? And since then it was like picking them off.

If you had to ask me to make a Mount Rushmore, it would be those four. You wouldn't. Yeah. No one would fight you. They go, well, those are some good points. And it's like, oh, your Mount Rushmore is my dating life for the last three months.

And I mean, he's going to be like an actor. I mean, he's popped up in Bird Box. He's popping up in King of Staten Island. We got later today, we're going to do an interview with Bill Burr that'll be out next week. King of Staten Island is a fucking awesome movie.

I don't want to talk about it now because we'll be talking about it on later episodes but a lot of good shit out there. So shout out to MGK. Go watch the Bloody Valentine video. It's unbelievable. Let's get into it for the rest of the episode here. It's brought to you by Pandora. First time on our show here.

Pandora. We've all been getting creative with the things you can do at home and uh pandora recommends putting them on for a great soundtrack while you're around the house while you're doing work while you're homeschooling while you're hanging out pop on that music i mean i've been listening to more music than ever it's mostly just mgk on repeat but uh if you're at home right now, like just jam out, man, like fucking Megan Fox does just put it on, but you're doing a home workout.

You're working from home. You're just unwinding, whatever it is. You pop on Pandora. I've been popping on Pandora. Uh, the, uh,

country music. I work out to like really slow country music and weird music. It does. It doesn't make sense, but I've been, I've been jumping rope to love songs. Unbelievable stuff. That's just so fucking weird.

It's weird. I know. They have regular music, but you can put on a movie soundtrack, like a film score. If you're writing or doing work and you want to listen to real music, you can just listen to film. You can listen to classical. You can listen to all that kind of shit.

Maybe we reach out to Pandora. We bring them a little something to the table called Soundtracks for Books. Oh! Let's go. They also have stand-up comedy. A lot of the favorite comics that you've seen on KFC radio are on there. So whether you are playing video games, listening to a comic, want to listen to music,

partying, whatever it may be, go to Pandora.com slash everywhere to learn more. You can get it on your smart speaker, your TV, your gaming consoles, and more, but a Pandora.com slash everywhere and start listening to a soundtrack for the great

indoors of quarantine. Hey, before we get into anything else, I got a little take, I think. Not a take. It's just something that's still been on my mind since we first started talking about that Nelson dude. Uh-huh. I think he was born unfortunately attractive.

Where he's like, you can see he has jaw structure and stuff like that where he was probably considered to be an attractive kid. In like the caveman era? But I'm

imagining it just shrunk down and I can see it working whereas I think I'm the exact opposite and I was fortunately not. You know what I mean? There's a fucking on this spectrum of things.

I'm luckily ugly. How's that? Or I'm pleasantly ugly. Meaning you're not ugly enough that you're hideous, but you're ugly enough that you have a good personality. Right, I'm ugly enough that I had to make friends as a kid. Right. And I'm not ugly enough to the point where they were scared of me, and that was hard.

But I had to have the personality to do it. And then... But they didn't think I was going to shoot the school. Right. It wasn't like that ugly. Like it wasn't, it was like, Oh God, I got out of this parent teacher conference with the ugly kid. He might fucking shoot this place up.

He's so gross. Like, like they're definitely teasing him every day. Like, you know what I mean? Like parents weren't scared of me. I was perfectly unassumed. You want to be not so ugly you're scary but not so pretty you're lame right where it's just like i i can see him being like i'll just take ancient greek like i look like a greek stature don't i that he does but the i just think that he there

is something about his picture and the smile. It's all in the smile. He gives that like, like he's content and smile. Look at me. I've been happy the whole time because I look like this. And it's like, you don't look like what you think you look like. That's the problem.

Oh, that's so true. That guy, that guy has body dysmorphia in the, in the wrong direction. He looks on the camera and the, in the screen and he's fucking Brad Pitt. And it's like, and you know,

what's unbelievable, I guess this kind of goes back to the Joe Rogan thing you were talking about similar, but a little different is like, it all depends on what circle you run in. Right. That guy, you know, probably thought he made it and it's all good. And if he were to like step into a barstool party or something like that, people throw fucking tomatoes and heads of lettuce at him. Like you stay dude. It's like, it's all relative, you know, until you're,

if you're an asshole really. Cause it's just like, if you're, you know, nice to people and you have a good personality, but I guess you can't do that when you're born with a fucking ancient Greek head. But it's, it's like you, you can always be the loser. You can always be the asshole. You can always be the asshole. And it can change like that. So, important lesson to learn. We'll do a little bit of it right here. We'll do a little M.I. the asshole.

Actually, you know what first I want to do? The Pandora sponsor is bringing you today's reader DM. If you want to DM us with any questions or anything, let us know. I got this message from this dude today. I don't know what to tell this cat.

I mean, I do know what to tell this cat, but he says, My wife's been gaining a lot of weight since quarantine. Some weight is whatever, but it's gotten to the point where she's buying new clothes because none of her normal clothes are fitting. I literally spent the week eating all the bad food in my house so she couldn't eat it. Then I told her I'm going to go on a diet and bought all healthy food. I come home yesterday to a goddamn pretzel maker and an air fryer. Any advice what I should do without me sounding like a shallow asshole? Now, I think anytime you're considering commenting on your significant other's weight, it's got to be like life and death type shit. Otherwise, you should probably leave it alone.

But if you're buying a fucking pretzel maker, we're talking like soft pretzels at home. That seems a bit gratuitous, no? A soft pretzel. The fryer, fryers can fly. But a soft pretzel maker at home. Like if I was getting, if I was putting on some pounds and you were like, yo, dude, you might want to tighten up. I'd be like, fuck off. If I was putting on some pounds and I was dropping donuts into a deep fryer in my kitchen, I think you're within your grounds to be like, maybe we should pump the brakes.

The problem is when it's from a male to a female, you're always in dangerous territory yeah but this is coming from someone who has an ice cream maker and it's never been used but purchased which is worse than using it probably just like being in that mental state like sure you're so fucking fat you bought it like you like again like it's the mentality of the girl shaving her head you have the mentality of i need my own ice cream maker like and then i got here and it was like a bunch of instructions like i'll just go get ben and jerry's um but the uh the the thought process behind that is one that needs to be nipped in the bud you gotta say i i don't know i always just go with like just say it see what happens oh i don, I don't know, man. Wife is different too,

by the way. Wife's different than girlfriend. Like my, my question when I hear these things are, would you rather have a little bit of a fat wife or a wife who now fucking hates your guts because you called her fat and that's up to you. But like, I don't know.

I think I just have more hope in humanity than if I was just like, don't do that. That's stupid. But I was like, look, like, what's going on? Like, are you okay? I started with depression, of course. Like, hey, babe, are you not doing too well mentally? And she's gonna say, you think I'm so fat and gross that I'm depressed?

Like, it's a fair question in a pandemic. Like, people are, you know, mental health is fucking all over the place. Like a pandemic like people are you know mental health is i'm fucking all over the place like babe how are you holding up right now because because you're not holding up well as i'll tell you it doesn't look like you are at all because you look like a fucking mess no like how about this how about this how about this you look, if I came home one day and the kitchen was a mess and the bedroom

was a mess and the blankets were all over the couch, I'd say, hey, maybe this person isn't doing too good. That's you. Let's say that the house is your body. How are you doing? Your body is a temple and the temple's

a fucking wreck right now. And the town, Jesus just came and saw you were selling fucking golds and stuff. So he fucking turned the place upside down. I, I, I mean, you're,

you are right in like a literal sense that you should be able to say these things. And if it's getting bad enough that you have to buy a whole new wardrobe and like, yeah, but I am a firm believer that your wife, any wife, all women, I'm paying you with a broad stroke. You guys just don't ever forget shit. And at the top of the list will be the time that your husband called you fat

to your face. I'm concerned about your health, Kevin. Oh, does it work? Does it doesn't matter? be the time that your husband called you fat to your face. I'm concerned about your health, Kevin. No. Does it work? It doesn't matter. I mean, look, if we're being dead honest, I'd never say anything. Okay, good, good. But it's just, I'm just making a spin for it.

It's within reason. It is. But here's the problem. That's one of the first questions I ask. Like, have I got any severe weight swings? Yeah, I put on 40 pounds in a pandemic. Okay, sounds like things aren't going too well. What you're doing, though, and you run into trouble when you do this. When you approach your female, or just

it could go both ways. So when you approach your relationship problems with logic, it doesn't work because you're talking about an illogical thing you're talking about emotions and feelings and an illogical arrangement where you only fuck this person and hang out with this person forever and it's just not gonna work i think it will let's let's let's pose this question then because we have a lot of female listeners. Look at you twisting your mustache like an evil. You look like you're about to tie me to the train tracks. If I can do this, maybe I will shave my face.

Oh, if you get the wax and you start twisting it? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I love it. You need to get a monocle and a pocket watch, wax and you start twisting it. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I love it. You look, you need to get a monocle and a pocket watch and you need to become like a evil cartoon character. I kind of,

kind of sick. Uh, but sorry, what were you saying about to the female listeners? It was just so immensely turning on. Let's ask the, the female ladies for next episode. What do you think being honest,

your boyfriend or significant other or whatever could say to you to make you like take note of your weight without you being like i'm gonna rip your fucking face off i want to see if there's any answer at all and i think they're all gonna be fucking liars because i don't think there is one what if i went what if i just shook my belly and i went like kind of like when you see like it gave you a jeep wave. Yeah, like yeah, we're belly brothers. I got one. Pretty cool. Like you finish up

your homemade pretzels and you eat the air fried fucking donuts or whatever and you go hey babe, me and you we're belly brothers now. And you make it like a funny thing and then she goes what yeah yeah we got the same size belly or like here's the range i have i can have all the emotions and i can do all the things that someone would do here's here's sadistic john

sliding in for a quick second here just touch touch it all the time. That's it. No, no, no, no. Not anything like that. Just casual touches all the time. Every time you're laying down, just place your hand there. When you put your hand in there, because you freak out whenever you think

you're a little fat, right? Whenever you touch it, it's horrifying. Sadistic is the right word. That's mental warfare. I just touch it. I'll never say anything. I just touch it a lot. Dude, mental terrorism right there.

But it's not terrorism because I'm just telling you what you already know. I'm telling you what you already know through osmosis. It's scientific. Science, bitch! You're fat! I'm telling you what you already know through osmosis. It's scientific. Science, bitch! You're fat! I'm not saying anything. I'm just touching a fat area, and you're thinking that's a little fat. Well, we

know who the asshole is today. It's John. Let's get into it. Am I the asshole? I never do that, man! You had the idea! I know how every person works in the whole world. When I tell people if you're able to write a movie like Saw or Hostel, you should just be

locked up because you're a sick fuck. If you can even come up with the idea of just touching your girlfriend's fat until she gets rid of it, you're a sick fuck. Not aggressive grabbing, not saying anything. Casual loving touches. That makes it worse. I know it does.

Like petting your fat. Oh my God. I'll do it on my titty right now. Oh, no. Please don't. Please fucking don't. Am I the Asshole today is brought to you by Burrow Couches. Your couch is the most important thing in your life. It always

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bucks off your purchase plus free one-week shipping. If you need to finance it, you can get zero interest financing. That's B-U-R-R-O-W.com slash KFC for 75 bucks off free one week shipping and zero interest financing. So am I the asshole? We got a couple of good ones here today. I made sure to make note of them as I stumbled upon them each week throughout the week here. We'll start off with one of my favorites ever. Am I the asshole for being mad that my boyfriend dedicated his book to O.J. Simpson instead of me? My boyfriend of five years has many great traits, but the one very weird quirk is that he's convinced OJ didn't do it. He's seen every documentary,

every miniseries, and he still thinks OJ is innocent. His explanation of who he thinks did it is probably even crazier than OJ Truther's, but he's not a conspiracy theorist other than this, so I mostly let it go. Who could it be? Maybe The Sun? That's always the craziest one, right? Is that it's OJ's son?

He spends a lot of time reading about OJ, watching about OJ-related content, and it's just become a hobby that I ignored. He recently self-published a book unrelated to OJ. It's just science fiction. I read all his drafts. I help him edit. Perhaps narcissistically, I thought I'd be the person whom he dedicated the book. It wasn't until I ordered that I opened it and saw it was dedicated to fucking OJ. Now, I know it's his right to do whatever he wants, but I wouldn't have been upset if he dedicated it to his mom or something. But he's never even met OJ. He said he

hoped the book would go big, people would buy it and be thrown off by the dedication, which talks about OJ being innocent, and this would open Pandora's box to the world. I asked him why not just write a book about OJ then, and he said because it would be harder to market given that he wasn't involved in the case and isn't in law. So his hope was to write a science fiction book, seemed odd to me, but he's usually a writer, that would be the next viral novel

with the secret agenda of highlighting OJ Simpson. He was hoping OJ himself would see it. I'm aware OJ isn't even in jail. My boyfriend acts like he is. He says even if OJ is free, he's not truly free because people only know him as that quote, that man who killed his wife and not as a great athlete. He's telling me none of this affects me,

so I'm in the wrong to be so offended, but come on. This just feels like a delusion, and it makes me angry that I helped him edit a book that turned out to be some sort of O.J. related plot. I mean, I like this guy. He is the asshole. Well, I can't decide if it makes him less or more of the asshole. If you were just like, I want to dedicate it to OJ. Fine. But the idea that he was like, I'm going to write a book to go viral,

to wedge in my agenda that has to do with the very first page. Yeah, no, I take it back. He's a smart marketer. I love it. Yeah. I mean, you know, I don't even get into science fiction, but I'm going to write a story about vampires and fucking werewolves and teens having sex and all the shit that like usually goes viral and i'm gonna make sure you know that oj's innocent first in fact he's such a great marketer that now i'm now the wheels are turning he this girlfriend doesn't even exist this is him because like now i need to read this book i need to read that fucking uh yeah that dedication i

need but you know what's also a very funny OJ phenomenon? I always forget he's innocent. When people have conspiracies, who could have done it? I'm like, oh yeah, poor OJ's locked up. No, he's not. He's out making TikToks. OJ was found innocent. Or not guilty. It's different, but it's not different.

OJ didn't go to jail. Can you imagine dedicating your life to getting someone out of jail who never went to jail for that crime? I got to clear his name. OJ's smoking cigars on the golf course. Like, thanks for your hard work, buddy. No, I mean, OJ probably would love this guy, right?

And I can't imagine OJ makes many new friends. I'm sure you'd roll out the red carpet for this guy. He does. First of all, this guy's definitely from Buffalo, right? Or he's from USC. Yeah, I mean, you could have a couple different ties, but I would imagine, you know, the juice is loose type days, whereas with Buffalo.

Do you think OJ has a healthy social life? Yeah. You do. OJ Simpson, and I want everyone to listen to this because I've said some things in the podcast that were like, could be misconstrued as depressing.

I didn't want them to be depressing. This one's going to be depressing. OJ Simpson has significantly more friends than you. And a significantly better life. OJ Simpson has, you might have one good friend. OJ has a lot of friends who would do anything for him. That's just a fact. You see him in the fucking baseball, the draft rooms and stuff like that.

OJ's life, far better than yours. I believe I saw someone tell me that Ahmad Rashad, cause he's been on the last dance a lot. I think Ahmad Rashad had OJ Simpson and Bill Cosby in his wedding. Yes, that's true. Unbelievable picture. How many people in this world have a rapist and a murderer as their groomsmen that aren't murderers and rapists themselves?

Like Ahmad Rashad, good guy, normal guy. I just happen to be friends with rapists and murderers. I don't think there's many. I think he's like one of like single digits. It's not even like rapists and murderers do them a disservice. They're infamous rapists and murderers do them a disservice. They're infamous rapists and murderers. The most prolific rapist maybe ever and the most cold calculated murder ever. It's legendary stuff.

And guess what? Dude, Ahmad Rashad opens up his fucking photo album from his wedding. He's just got rapists and murderers everywhere. That's so fucking funny. Your wife, when you get married, wives are always careful about who's

going to be in the wedding and who's going to be in the pictures and how it's going to look. And she was like, oh, okay, yeah, OJ's here and Bill's here, awesome. And then 10 years, 20 years, whatever, any years later, she's like, you ruined our whole fucking wedding after the fact. I think it's a long time, but also at the time, probably

two of the safest picks. They were just like the happy-go-lucky guys. OJ was the rock, the first of the rock. And fucking Bill Cosby was America's dad. You couldn't have two safer guys. Right.

It makes me think that Ahmad Rashad's probably like a pedophile. What's next? What else is coming out of that fucking wedding? Ahmad Rashad's probably got bodies in the basement too. It's not just coincidence. 42. He's like

70-something. He's like, he's got some blood transfusion going on. Maybe like a blood farm in the basement. I don't know if that's a thing, but it might be. More likely than not at this point. I'll believe anything that comes out of the fucking Ahmad Rashad camp. So I guess we're both in agreement then that this guy's not the asshole?

Yeah, not the asshole. Smart guy. Good fella. I'd love to hang out, read your book out loud. We'll do a table read or something. Sounds great. If you happen to be listening to this, send us a copy. Am I the asshole for refusing my soon to be divorced sister and my niece to move in with me because it would ruin my sex life? Her husband kicked her out within the past few days, so she's currently staying with a friend. It seems like they've been headed down this road for a while, but finally the dam broke and they officially split.

She asked if she could stay with me until she finds a new apartment, which she thinks may take several weeks or longer. I told her she could not. The reason is because I recently started dating a new girl and I'm having some of the best sex of my life. It's definitely the most adventurous. So if my sister and niece moved in, it would really kill off a lot of the fun and we'd have to be a lot more restrained. Our parents live about

an hour away. So although it'd be a lot more inconvenient since my sister works in the city and would have a long commute, it's not like she's without options. She may also be able to find a friend willing to let her stay with her if she looked, but I concede that it would be the most convenient if she stayed with me. But this guy wants to get his fuck on. I think saying it like you would ruin your sex life makes you the asshole. Just say it'll ruin your life. That's true, too.

I don't think anybody should ever feel like they have to let someone move into their spot, although I will say if your sister and her daughter get kicked out by the husband and are out on the streets... Oh, it's sister? I thought it was sister-in-law. No, it's sister and niece.

Oh. That's tough. Again, you can say no, but don't tell me it's because you're getting your fuck on. If you say, like, I don't really have space, or this neighborhood's not safe for your daughter or, like, I work from home and it's just not going to work. Even then, it's still like, boy, you're a pretty shitty brother.

But okay. But to just be like, I got this new hot piece of ass and we're doing role play and hanging from the ceiling and shit. And I can't have them see that. Especially if it's like, um, like I, I, it's so hard to know right now. Like, by the way, wait a minute. You thought this was the sister-in-law? I thought, yeah, I thought, I don't know. Imagine if, imagine if your brother was like, all right, I'm getting a divorce. And you were like, okay, she's living with me, dude. I thought like, I don't know. I hear niece. And for some reason, it just makes it sound more distant to me.

Right, right. That makes sense. I get it. But the – what was I going to say? Oh, it's so weird how, like, the country is just – everyone's in a different thing. So in my head, I'm like, well, in the middle of a pandemic – Yeah, but it's not really. Who cares?

Just go an hour away. Like, what's work and all this stuff but also the middle pandemic like i don't want you in my house i'm here all the time i like my fucking privacy and that that's i think you're within your rights to ever say whether it's family friends i don't want to live with you but i don't think you can disclose that it's because you're having kinky sex it's i mean you're an insane person if you do that that it's because you're having kinky sex. You're an insane person if you do that. But you're an asshole. You're an asshole.

What if he was just like, I'm seeing this new girl and we spent a lot of time together and my apartment's small and I just think it would be awkward. Does that make it better? Not really. You're still an asshole. Now she's probably going to hate that girl if you stay

together the i think you got to be like look i would really prefer if you went elsewhere if you have nowhere else to go and it's impossible your absolute last resort fine that i throw that out all the time people know it's a soft no you just hit him with soft nose like look if you can't find anyone else i'll do it well you know you got to be like that's what because if you put the onus on them if you say if you can't find if you absolutely can't find anyone else i will do it then if they come back to you they're the i also feel like you could maybe hatch yourself a sunny-esque plot where it's like yeah come on move in and then you have them show up and there's like you trash the place you leave needles around you have like your buddies passed out naked it's like, you trash the place, you leave needles around, you have like your buddies passed out naked. It's like,

oh, I thought you knew. This is just like how my apartment is. Yeah, I'm not changing my lifestyle for you and your child. I'll give you a roof, but we're going to be like, you know, fucking blowing lines and like, you know, playing with knives and shit. And then again, it's up to you. And she'll be out of there pretty fucking quick.

Gotta use your head here, people. Come on. Don't be so obtuse. We'll do one more quick M of the Asshole, get into our voicemails, and then we'll wrap it up for the day. John, this one goes out to you. And a little Russell Brand action. I, 27, male, told my girlfriend, 28, we could introduce role play and it's become a nightmare. Basically, girlfriend and I, let's call her April, had been together for two years now. About six months back, she tells me she's always wanted to try role playing, but she didn't know how to bring it up.

Of course, I told her I was open to trying what she liked because it didn't cross any lines for me. We did some light role play stuff later that week. Just a kind of cliched thing that was honestly kind of cringy and how cliched it was. Someone, it sounded to say some of the stuff, but was very sweet to see how she got into it and she was cute and how excited she became about doing the other scenarios in the future. This made her more comfortable with it and she seemed to let her guard down about bringing up new scenarios and characters so now it's a regular thing. the problem is she's absolutely awful at it like man it's super

great to see how much love she loves doing this and it doesn't make me feel unsafe or uncomfortable or anything but it's getting physically difficult to handle how bad of this some of the stuff is firstly once she settles into characters and setting she over commits to make it sexual like she kind of watched the cheesy video store pornos from the 80s and 90s. And she thinks that's how you make a scenario sexy. She makes all of our characters have sex puns in their names, like Queen Elizabeth and Wild Bill Bigcock. Yes, those are real examples. And then tries to work in sexy dialogue that goes over like a lead balloon.

Like while playing with a pirate theme, she told me to give her my treasure map or she'd come and make me cock the plank. I kind of wanted to say no just to call her bluff and make her explain what the holy hell that would actually mean. Kind of ironically, when you take it along with the first thing, she decides on a genre. She really commits to it, establishing the setting to the point that it sometimes feels like she's more interested in that than the actual sex, which, again, I'm fine with. And if she wanted to just sit down and make up stories with me, I'd be totally down. But it's hard to get back into the mood after having to look up whether Wyoming was a territory of the state in 1860s. I mean, it almost, as I read more, it's getting totally out of fucking control. I don't even know if it's real. But,

I mean, you can't ever go full role play. You can't, it's like, you can't go, especially how fast it went. What if someone was like, I'd like to try getting spanked and then like

in a week i'm just beating the shit out of you like you can't go from fucking like hey you want to try light role play to writing scripts to have sex like you can't go method act on my ass like that that's fucking i gotta memorize lines for our role play we've gone too far okay like i'm going over our monthly finances and trying to figure out how we're losing money in quarantine and figure out we're spending a ten thousand dollars a week at costume palooza what are we doing here man like you can't have it out of everything that's the one bridge i've never really crossed or had an interest to cross I've crossed it

we know you have I guess I've done like she's been in like a costume or like sexy lingerie or whatever but like never pretended there's a huge difference let's rattle that back real quick sexy lingerie and a costume

are very different things I mean like a slutty costume. Like a slutty nurse or a slutty this or that. Not on Halloween? No, maybe it was Halloween. Well, if it wasn't Halloween, I got a little information for you. You've role-played. Yeah, but I'm saying if I've ever even done it, it's been more like, I don't know, you do it and I'll just like give you the dick. I never like said like, OK, I'm the doctor or like I'm from the army or some shit like that.

I certainly never pretended to be Russell Brand. But oh, I am from army. I have come back from the war. I just To me that's like We don't need that let's just be perverted Let's just be deviants let's just do weird shit to each other's Body like all your holes whatever

I'm back from war Smuggled back a very Very dangerous weapon that no one Knows how to use but you Look at you You're a regular fucking actor All boned up over here yeah uh i think you're the asshole if you're fucking you need the method act to have sex with

me so uh well if you have to like if you need me to method act as well if you have the method act i get it that's fine yeah there's always a lot of acting going on when you're having sex with me it's just whether or not you're doing it publicly and in the form of a character. All right. Voicemail time. It's brought to you by notion, uh,

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plan. That's Notion. N-O-T-I-O-N dot com slash KFC for 10% off. Hey, fantasy science people producer BC. If your life had to be one category of movie, what would you want it to be? So your entire life is

a romantic comedy, an action movie, etc. Thanks. Bye. Excuse So your entire life is a romantic comedy, an action movie, et cetera. Thanks. Bye. Excuse me? What? What kind of movie do you want my life to be? Yeah, go ahead. What do you answer? I mean, I guess now that I've dragged it out, it's a little bit harder to decide if I want to be a musical or a romantic comedy, but I could just be fucking both.

I challenge both of those, sir. I want my life to be Fast and the Furious. Fast and the Furious is fun. A lot of fighting, though. Yeah, well, you know, that's but you'd be that guy. Huh? You'd also like be the fighting type of guy, no?

No, it's you. it's your life right? I mean if that's the case then I don't know I fucking want the movie where you just like film a guy sit on the couch for the rest of his life well I mean the romantic comedy is a fantastic genre I would have a blast I agree but it also is pretty exhausting

in it's own right cause you just you're gonna get the girl, lose the girl have to win the girl back, you marry the Cause you're just, you're going to get the girl, lose the girl, have to win the girl back. You marry the girl. You just describing the fun part. No, it's not.

It's been the movie. Not the fun part. When the girl finds out that the only reason you were dating her in the first place was because of a bet, but you actually fell in love with her and you've got to convince her. You're real about it. That's all. That's it.

Sounds like an absolute blast. Like a walk in the park. A lot of fun. But musicals, I guess if I'm having a down day, I might not want to sing, but then I just sing like this. Yeah, no, I'll just do that.

It's a musical. It's a romantic comedy musical. What's the last one you would want? Fast and Furious musical. Fast and Furious musical. Fast and Furious musical. I didn't, they'd be singing like, I know we are going very fast, fast,

fast, fast. I won't come in last. Give me a little Dom Toretto. I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Sing, sing song. Fuck.

Okay. Okay. And we're going we're going a quarter mile i haven't seen dom toretto's file anywhere i can't find it. Well done. Well done. All right. Musical, romantic comedy. I feel like sci-fi would be a disaster. I feel like thriller or horror

obviously is out the window. I'm just living porno. Give me an NC-17. That's on the list after Fast and Furious musical. Next up. Hey, boys. I was just watching

some clips of Ink Master on YouTube, that tattoo show where they actually tattoo on live people. I don't know if they're volunteers. I don't know if they're getting paid. But sometimes the tattoos come out great. Sometimes they come out absolutely terrible. uh people i don't know if they're volunteers i don't know if they're getting paid but sometimes the tattoos come out great sometimes they come out absolutely terrible and obviously they're

permanent for life i know i'm not sure if uh kc has any but what is your price point to go on that show that show and for them to give you a tattoo. I mean, it's interesting timing because I feel like Feidelberg is going to say like zero dollars. You're ready to just let anybody ink you up. But it's like I have a say in what's getting put on. Yeah, this is all like they like try and do something awful. Right. I think. And if it's not what he's talking about, let's talk about that. It was the Snooki show

where it was like, you tattooed what on me? And people were tattooing dicks and assholes and crazy shit on people's bodies. And then it was like, surprise! Which is like, oh, my body's fucking ruined for life. On your chest, too. It wasn't just on an ass

cheek or whatever. So no, I wouldn't want something offensive. I'll have something stupid, but as long as it's stupid that means something. Price tag for a swastika? Boy. $180? $180?

No, I'm kidding! I'm kidding! It's much higher. Here's the thing. You can just fill it in and have it be like a black square. Okay, how about this? How about if you have to have it, you have to get a swastika

tattooed on you, but you have to defend it every time, not as a white nationalist, as it was actually the Hindu symbol for peace. It doesn't mean that. It didn't always mean that, I swear. What if you did it like we were taking

it back? We're reclaiming the swastika. My name is Adolf, and this is no longer a sign of hate. We're bringing it back. You do like the American history acts to pull down. Yeah. To see what this means.

It means I hope you have a great day. Yeah. I mean, I have just recently gotten over the idea of getting a tattoo that I do want, let alone one. I wouldn't want, I mean,

it's gotta be a good, like alone one I wouldn't want. I mean, it's got to be a good life-changing amount of money. Not like life-changing, but I'm also not doing it for a couple hundred bucks. You're a fool if you turn down any tattoo for like $500, $100,000. You're foolish. Oh, yeah. I was yeah i was thinking you know if you offered me again i get i get saying what it is like if you gave me like 10 grand yeah sure you know yeah i mean for no say no say 100 grand yeah right right 100 grand is like

roulette like just put my arm out and i don't know what's gonna happen uh and if we're and if you're intentionally telling me it's anything horrifically hateful or racist we've got to be like half a million dollars yeah i think i think you just gotta cross racist on the table like you gotta just keep your body pure in that but like if you draw like a dick on my arm like whatever whatever. I got a hundred thousand dollars. Right. A lot of cashiers are about to see this tattoo. All right. Last voicemail of the day.

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grab yourself some bamboo some lounge pants and some some real pants. The Breeze, the Nomad, and the bamboo shirts at freeflyapparel.com slash KFC. Hey, what's up, quarantine cuties? I was just, I had a question for you guys. I'm driving on my way to work, and a stranger coming the other way on the other side of the road flashes the high beams at me which we know usually is a cop up ahead sure enough about a half mile up cop running radar saved me from a possible ticket so i was just wondering what are some of the top things that strangers do like that guy didn't need to do that he could have just let me go by what are the top things that strangers do? Like, that guy didn't need to do that. He could have just let me go by.

What are the top things that strangers do just to make someone else stay better, stay for that kind of stuff? That's a good question. What are the best good Samaritan things you can do out of just the generosity

of your heart? I think Good Samaritan things you can do out of just the generosity of your heart. Um, I think, uh, my, I'm a big, have a great day guy. Like the,

like I, I hit it hard. Like I, like when that person goes home that night, they remember my eye contacts. I genuinely mean it. I want your day to be great. Like,

I don't want my friend's days to be great. I don't really care, but I genuinely mean it when I'm talking to a cashier or something like that. Thank you so much. I want your day to be great. I don't want my friend's days to be great. I don't really care, but I genuinely mean it when I'm talking to a cashier or something like that. Thank you so much. Have a great day. My tone is beautiful. I know. There are people who remember me to this day. They tell tales over Thanksgiving dinner table.

This guy, I haven't had a bad day since. This is the greatest day. Because he because he told me i've been on a just a run of unbelievable fucking bull chicago bulls ass days because of what his uh his advice was i'm a big uh i tell people when their flies down oh Oh, yep. Which is awkward. Cause it's like, yeah, I was looking at your dick for some reason,

but when people look at that and then just let someone go into work or go into the meeting or walk into the restaurant or the bar, like that's gotta be fucking mortifying for that guy. I just give a lean, a little lean over. I'll be like, our doors open, bro,

whatever it is. And they're always like, Oh shit. Thanks man. Thanks. So I'm up. Uh, almost anything else

i'll let you walk around with shitting your teeth your hair's messed up you're just staying on your shirt whatever i'll be like oh that's embarrassing but if you if your dick is almost out i'll give you a little nod let you know the uh the gas up i think is this is awesome that thing is ridiculous um the gas up i i tell like everyone i like their clothes i think yeah but here's the problem i know you do that now but but it doesn't but yeah you do but when i say to you i genuinely mean sometimes well do you huh do you yeah with you all without with you only go out of my way. But with, like, someone I don't know as well, if they're, like, talking to me, I was like, oh, by the way, those are six shoots. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Give them a little something. Yeah, just compliments. Just a compliment here and there goes a long fucking way. We've talked about it a million times. If you just compliment a guy, you'll have them eating out of the palm of your hand. 100%. Oh, my God. You're so

handsome i'll suck your dick right now yeah like if you're looking for to just own a man well again it doesn't doesn't matter hetero homo whatever way you want to do it like just say something nice yep oh my because we're so goddamn toxic and broken because we never fucking hear them we never hear it at all so all you gotta do is say one nice thing about us and we're so goddamn toxic and broken because we never fucking hear them. We never hear it at all. So all you got to do is say one nice thing about us. And we're like, Oh my God, like,

God, your mustache looks fucking great. Like that. All right. Let us know. Tweet at us. Jim Carrey and Sonic. Yeah,

you do. You look like Mr. Robotnik. That's exactly what you look like. You, you are, you look like the bad guy from Frosty the Snowman. How can I do this? Does regular hair paste work for this?

Probably. I think there's something like mustache wax, but I think you could use the Fleischmann hair paste and it would stay that way. What you've got to do is shave the rest now, though. I don't know. i'm nervous about that because then it because then it makes it stand out where like the right now it kind of blends into the other part of your face you would look awesome you look like raleigh fingers look like goose sausage or whatever right we're gonna have to think about this one tweet at us at at kmc, all the other Good Samaritan nicest things you can do for a fellow stranger or whatever. All right, let's get into our interviews now. Two big ones. We got Taylor Tomlinson and we got Joel McHale.

So these interviews are brought to you by Miller Lite. At this point, we're like best buds with Joel McHale. Next time I see him, I'm probably going to crack open a beer with him, drink a Miller Lite, let him make fun of me relentlessly. That's what friends do, right? We're cool, Joel. I want to sit down with Taylor and Sam. I'll do a little double date, me and you, with them, and we'll drink some Miller Lites. It is the number one beer for sharing stories, telling jokes, busting balls, spinning yarns.

You can do it while you're in quarantine. You can do it if you're lucky enough to be back out at the bar and hanging out. Get yourself a Miller Lite, a bucket of Miller Lites. Get the little baby Miller Lites down the shore this weekend, this summer. Or you can just still be sitting at home cracking up a cold one every time you finish work for the day and close down your Zoom calls. Either way, you can reconnect with friends, family, strangers, whoever, while drinking a Miller Lite. Where's the first bar you're going to go? I think I've asked you this.

You're going to go to your Manhattan bar or are you going to go to a local bar at home? Good question. Or like a Newport bar. It's a great question. Probably Factory in new york if i had to guess factory 380 but uh yeah i don't know if it's not if it's not there it's probably o'brien's in newport i feel like i don't know i don't even think the jersey shore can possibly be open but if it is i saw parker house said they were like getting ready. I don't know how that's going to work, but if it is, I'll be there for a bucket of Miller Light nips.

So get Miller Light, the original light beer. Whether you're at home, enjoy a classic. You got it available for delivery today through all the delivery apps. Celebrate responsibly with the Miller Brewing Company in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Let's get into our interviews, Taylor Tomlinson and Joel McKim. Ah, here we are. I hear that beautiful voice. Let me see that beautiful face though, Joel. There we are. Kifk. Yes. Sorry for all the ambient noise in the background. It's I'm running a, uh, it's, uh,

it's a, I don't know. I'm running a family here. So do you, do you, is your mic, uh, is your camera cut off right now? I only see your name. I don't see your face. John, can you see me? I can't. I see Joel. If you go to bottom left, there should be a camera icon. Sometimes it has a red strike through it. There we go why did it do that that's didn't do it on the last two so what the hell's going on you guys you sound very like calm and soothing right now joel mckale it's my very white pandemic voice

yeah apparently yeah i have the i have a very large microphone that uh I asked for the velvety fog. That ain't one of the microphones. Are you running a family at home? Are you running homeschooling? Yes. I'm doing all the educating. It's very, very religious. Very watch out.

You're making them kneel on beans when they get a question. Yeah. I slapped them across the wrist with a ruler like the nuns used to do to me. No. Your kids are, they're kind of in that range where you kind of have to teach them, right? You were 12 and 15,

12 and 15, but the worst zoom school is not conducive to educating people. My, my, I'm super ADHD and dyslexic and my boys have some of that. So it's fun. They hit the genetic jackpot. I'm like, you're welcome kids. Yeah. My wife is not those things.

And she's like, well, you know, that's like, you sit them down and you're like, listen, you're, you'll be over six feet tall, but like, maybe you can't read good. Right. You got superhero genetics,

superhero body. And also you like to run around a lot. Yeah. There's a lot of, yeah, that's, um, I'm trying to,

you know, make the male models. That's, uh, trying to breed them. And, uh, eugenicsics no big deal

it is definitely yeah it is it's fine and it's we've gotten used to zoom school but it's not it's just not the same no no man my kids are much younger they're four and two and they we put the zoom on and it's just we just put it on and then they run away and we're like, whatever. Yeah. You're not gonna, I mean, like my kid has music class and you know, it's fine, but it's good. I mean, I'm glad they're doing it, but you know, there there's, there's so many distractions around that it's hard to keep anybody. I can't even focus. So how, how would they get, how would the, yeah. So, so on top of being now a teacher, full-time dad,

you're a busy dude, man. You got the new podcast, you got new shows. You might be the busiest guy in Hollywood right now. Well, my goal was cause all the A-listers are like taking it easy. They're like, Oh great. I'll take a vacation and they all are just relaxing. And I being, you know, like a D, like a D plus. Oh, stop.

I got up to B minus at one point, but like a D, maybe a C. I'm like, I'm going to fill in this. I'm going to fill in this gap while this pandemic is happening. And are you regretting it yet? Oh, yes. This is it. We all did this. We all did this. Everybody we've talked to, a couple of

our colleagues, we all came up with new ideas. We were going to be the heroes. We're going to fill the void of sports. We're going to give you more content. And then like 70 days in, it was like, oh, fuck, I have a whole new job now. What have I done? Yeah, I agree. I hosted two

different charity events last weekend and uh and i was my wife was like we don't see you anymore i'm like i don't see i don't know what's happening to me this is so very the other one i watched a community tailor read which is incredible how i have a lot of questions about that but what was the other one i did two others oh i guess that was also one but not really that was a temporary no i actually hosted the los angeles zoo fundraiser which they had to cancel the gala and then i hosted the union rescue mission uh which is downtown la that the biggest homeless outreach in the city uh and so they had you know, obviously all the galas were canceled, but we learned, they learned very quickly that when you do, uh, when you host something either over like YouTube or million bucks starting you know if you want a nice fancy one in LA and they're like we don't have to do this anymore we can just do this it's way more cost

effective so I'm glad they glad people I mean at one point the zoo website crashed because 150,000 people were watching it. Wow. And I'm just tooting my own horn because of me, guys. I'm tuning in for the talent. But when it turns out, if you don't want to get all dressed up and all that stuff and drive across the city, you can just turn on your computer and they're like, donate five bucks. And then, boonk, and there it is. So let me ask you this question.

I've been talking to people in general. Things like that, things like going to an office for work, social events, sporting events. How much do you think that that sticks around if and when we get the green light from people? Or do you think that galas and all that shit just starts up again? I think it's going to be very different. I think once the vaccine is found and distributed, things will go back to kind of like sporting events will. But I think the more every day, the more people are online doing their jobs, they're going to go, this is better than taking a two hour train ride from Connecticut to Manhattan. And I think like businesses, especially like the banking sector, they're not going to need buildings anymore and i think that

this is a huge i really do think it's a huge moment in our uh in in the culture and on the planet at least for like america and europe and asia where they're like oh you don't have to do any of that stuff the only what you for people that have jobs that are, could be, uh, over just in their homes. And that, I think that's it. You obviously, there's going to be such a, I mean, Jeff Bezos is going to make so much more money than he already has. And, you know, once flights open up that will, you know, there's going to be a lot of that, but, um, uh, but I think this is going to be a huge reshifting and people won't ever people can live in nebraska and work in new york and it's the it's been funny too not funny but like

hearing people say like i got the like i'm going crazy in the house like it's bad for my mental health and don't get me wrong it absolutely poses its own concerns about mental health but like what we were doing every day what do you like again like the two-hour train ride bustling people standing in line for an hour at sweet green to eat your lunch on a walk back to the office not exactly like what you would want to build the foundation you'd want to build your mental health on right you can do it on a field in nebraska it's probably yeah it does seem like when people i mean this is such a such a you know answer that is like when people like I can't like before I had any success in acting people thought I was nuts my friends were like you're this is what are you gonna do for real and I'm like no this is the plan and uh and then I was always like doesn't

it seem crazier that you would just go to the same spot for eight hours a day and come back and do that your entire life that seems weird uh so i you know i guess it's all weird but um but yeah no so yes i think you're right that like when i like some of the community especially in a big city that some of the commutes i i know i just was like oh i don't think i could ever really do that consistently i'd have to just go into the woods somewhere. I'm the opposite of a woodsman, but we always, like, when we had an office in Boston and I'd

drive in and I remember every day I'd get home just angry and it was like, this is crazy. I would beat the shit out of my steering wheel. I'm a very level-headed person outside the car. Behind the car, it's like punching the roof punching the steering wheel

it's always like the episode of Always Sunny when Dennis and Mac moved to the suburbs I was like that's exactly what it was like where you can't ever unwind because you're too angry when you get home because of that person who didn't merge quick enough or whatever it is it's funny when you're telling your story

and you're like I would beat the shit out of my I was like oh where's this gonna go I was like i wonder if he's gonna have a job in about two minutes community table read was that was transition yeah that was uh i watched that and it was unbelievable my number one question how How'd you get Pedro Pascal? Gillian texted him. Yeah. She knows him. She, they work together. I know him. I've known him for about five years and he actually, I've been talking since the table read,

because I think he felt like he had screwed up because he was laughing so hard. but I was like dude it was the funniest thing in the whole thing see I was gonna say exactly that where I thought it's such a unique thing to see I've never seen a table read ever but like seeing someone who I don't know if he's reading the script for the first time or if he'd seen the original episode or whatever but where he was trying to act with the real actors was such a funny dynamic and him trying to say, uh, the sperm was coming every time was, I mean, it was 10 out of 10. It was some of the best content in quarantine, I thought.

Yeah, no, I was some of the, his genuine reaction was remarkable. And, uh, we, we asked Walton Goggins if he could do it cause he played the original role and he was unavailable and that's, that's how we got, got Pedro. And yeah, to reference Chevy Chase's semen, like over and over. I mean, we had the Mandalorian, so if only he pulls out a canister of semen during the next season.

Baby Yoda. Baby Yoda. Yeah. You've also got, I believe your podcast, I would have to consider, like, I mean, Ken Jeong is my arch nemesis. He is. Oh, he is? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Big time. Okay. I'll let him know. Well, Ken knows. We've had Ken on a handful of times. Yeah. He is. He's my arch rival, and he's a real motherfucker to me.

And honestly, last time you came on our show, you just undressed us and psychoanalyzed us and clowned us too. So honestly, the darkest timeline duo might be my, you know, I hate you guys. Yeah.

Well, um, all I would say to that is winter is coming and, uh, we're going to put you, we're trying to actively put you out of business. Yeah. I have a problem with this. Like we, I yelled at Whitney Cummings over this when she started her podcast. Like, no, no, you guys are famous. You're rich. You're successful.

Stay out of our lane. Oh, you know that there's rules to this. There's only so many advertisers. You get the fuck out of here. If you're not doing a podcast in quarantine in a childhood bedroom like I'm doing right now. You don't get to do it. If you're doing a podcast in a home you own, not allowed. Get out of here.

Yeah. No, I'm doing it from my guest house. Anyway. I mean, your third guest was Andrew Yang, right? Yeah, that was our first guest it for my guest house. Anyway. I mean, like, your third guest was Andrew Yang, right? That was our first guest. Or that was your third episode, though? Was it my third episode?

No, it was our second episode. It was our second. Yeah, okay. Yes, I believe so. Yeah, he popped on. And I will say, I think Pedro's coming on next. Oh, to talk about... That's about bullshit. Yeah.

Was there any plan with that? Was that strictly a quarantine thing or was that like, were you thinking about doing that? We were like, how can we put those guys from Boston out of business? Do it. Like, like, so we have been, well, we had been talking about it and, but for months, months now, and we were not really, I was always like, we should really do this. Uh, because you and I, cause whenever I'm on the phone with Ken, I'm on the phone with him for an hour and my wife will walk in and say, are you talking to your boyfriend? And I'll be like, I am. Can you just hold on? And, uh, so we do talk a lot. And I said, what if we, he, and he brought, I don't know who came up with the idea, but I was like,

we should talk about the pandemic cause you're a doctor and I am obsessed with the science. So if we can have an intelligent talk about the science because the 24 hour news cycle is hard to, you can get it, but you kind of pulling stuff from different. So I was like, let's just talk about hard science. And, um, and then we'll bring on community guests, but we're not going to watch shows back. We're not going to go, well,

he just, uh, uh, we just, so we weren't going to do that because I think I would be terrible at that. But, uh, so, uh, that's how it came together. And our schedules got immediately cleared. And as, but Kevin, as you were saying, like the schedules are so full, I've never been busier in my life. It's a frenetic busyness because your kids are always around and you're trying to do work. So your brain is always on, as opposed to,

even when you're sitting in your car, punching the ceiling, you're alone. And you can never realize how like not quiet your house is until you're trying to do a podcast or until i imagine like your kids are doing their music lesson in the other room oh yeah oh i can hear absolutely everything in this house at all times i've never realized that before and there's no you know you go to work from you know relatively nine to five and then you're off this This is just 24 hours because it's just a computer and a phone. You're doing content. When was the last time I came? I saw you guys in New York.

Yeah. Yeah. Probably like two years ago. It was our old office. It was our bad. We we've since moved. We moved up in the world a little bit. We've upgraded a little bit.

And did you, John, John, you were dating the girl in South America? Yeah, I wasn't dating. It didn't work out, but it was the right because girl in South America? Yeah, I wasn't dating. It didn't work out, but it was the. Right, because you screwed it up?

Yeah, of course. Of course. She was like a princess, right? She's a princess. I'm honored you remember this. Yes. Yeah, you really laid into me in that one. It was a real come to Jesus moment I had like that night where I was like, Joel McHale really laid out my life.

Honestly, I don't know whether it was, you know, conscious or subconscious. But since then, I think John's been a new man. he's he's newly he's in a new relationship in love he's got this great new beard he's doing more work than ever i think joel mckale was the difference let's not go with great new beard and uh i feel like your beard is very you know, young country, Kevin and John's beard is, um, my it's part, but part like, um, Damien Lewis coming out of the hole, like episode one of Homeland, where it's like very stringy and red and gross out. It goes like long this way. It goes like, I'm going to lose,

like you don't talk about like losing weight when you cut your hair. I'm going to lose 30 pounds when I shave my face. You look like you run one of those bars that has axe throwing. You don't brew your own beer, but you're very concerned about it. When was the last time you spoke to the princess? Not too long ago.

We keep in touch, but she's still down there. And you just were not going to ever move there? No, I wasn't ever going to move there. It's a dangerous place, Joel. It's not the greatest. Yeah, but you would have been well-protected. I would have been, yeah.

But I'm in a relationship, Joel. I mean, she was a billionaire, right? I don't think Bill Beeser... Just hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars, right? That's a lot of bulletproof SUVs It's at least four Because that's what picked me up at the airport Four of them showed up to get you Yeah caravans

An eight man crew picked you up It was I don't know if it was exactly four. It was more than one. Let's say that. It was, it was more than one. And her father never tried to kill you after you broke up with her? No, no. Not yet. It wasn't even a breakup. There was never, there was no breakup. There was no

relationship. It just, it never worked out. But what I want to talk about is starter. I'm not letting you hijack this one again. I'm so wait. So if I asked her the same, if I asked her the same question, there was never a relationship. There was never a commitment. Would she say the same thing?

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. I can answer that one without blushing. Kevin doesn't believe it. No, I know.

I'm dead serious. I believe that there, I believe him, but I also, you know, girls are always on a different page than the guy on these things usually. I don't think so. I think there was never like a relationship or commitment like that.

There was probably a desire from both parties, but it just logistically doesn't work out. Who did she marry? Nobody, yeah. But you know what? That's a good question. She's very mysterious. I don't know.

She doesn't use social media. She's she's much like Stargirl and Starman, right? They use social media. And does she have a power staff? Honestly, probably a golden rod that can, you know, do you do you like being a superhero? Are you are you? No, I hate it Come on, there's a lot of pressures That come with being a superhero You can be Jeff Winger where you're like

The cool bad boy That's an easier thing to live up to Than a superhero Wait, for me? Or for The superhero thing I can literally fly. I mean the character you're portraying.

I feel like Jeff Winger is very Joel McHale. I don't know if you're a superhero. Well, tell my wife that because I don't sleep around and I'm not single. You know what I mean. No, I know what you mean. Well, I have a very minor role in a very cool series. Geoff Johns, who is like the king

of comic books, he wrote it and he asked if I... I'm not spoiling anything here. My character dies in the first episode, and you can tell that happens because it's in the trailer. I watched the trailer. I knew that. I'm not spoiling anything.

And so I was just honored to be a part of it. I had always, you know, like Luke Wilson and Amy Smart. So, I mean, those were, you know, like I was, Idiocracy is one of my favorite movies. So I was very happy to be working with them. And so my time that they were there for six months, I was there for like a week. So I'm just happy to be a part of it.

And, uh, and I got to, I think I had more fittings than I did days on set, uh, because getting those suits right takes is very difficult. I think I literally went there 10 times before it was ready. And then they made three of them and then they just tore them apart as I got

stabbed and beat up and all this stuff. So, uh, it's really, really, really fun. I can't recommend it enough. Are you a comic sky, you know, Marvel and the life, like all the movies or is this just a role? Oh yeah. With a 12 and 15 year olds. Yeah. I mean the Marvel movies, you know, I think it started with, with, Nolan's Batman's and that really changed comic books. And of course, Iron Man and our comic book movies and the quality of those movies is so high. Like the Marvel movie quality is so good.

And I don't care when I hear people go like, well, it's just all these movies now and there's no independent films or there's no mid-sized films. And I'm like, this is our complaint? Our movies are too awesome and too expensive. They're too good. If the Marvel movies had been bad, people would not really have gone to them

as they do. And they're remarkable and they also figured out, I mean, I think this is why the Russos are the kings over there. And Taika Waititi. They're so funny. And they're such good comedies. And there's a lot of comedy in this.

If you watch my death scene, it's just a bunch of jokes going back and forth. And then I die. So I really had a good time i think i've gained some weight since i put on the suit last so i literally have thought oh if that comes back you're in trouble i was thinking about it as you were describing like the fitting sessions because like if i'm putting on a t-shirt that i'm gonna wear five ten times or whatever i'm looking in the mirror an awful lot at the store before I buy it. Are you as judgmental in a suit or is that more like the costume design who is like, look,

this is a little... No, I will say this. I came in ready. I had lost some weight. It was just a happy accident because in August, I got the job in January, but the August before I basically cut down almost like 25 pounds and I worked out every day. And so I came in there, worked out great because they were like, this is the right size you should be for this character. It's good. And because they have the problem of people, well, they have problems with people gaining weight. And then they have to basically build a brand new suit. And same thing if you get really too skinny. Anyway, no, it worked out. But I said, what do you do if you get somebody who's really big?

And they're like, we just have to make the muscles even bigger to make up for the excess. Anyway, I don't think I'd fit in it now. So I would have to cut, I don't think i'd fit in it now so i would have to cut i don't know probably 10 pounds so that can't be fun like that the stress you must have carried going into that fitting session i'm panicking for you right now i must have been no i'm walking that fitting session and just went fucking nailed it and uh i walked through the door and i'm like you're welcome and uh yeah that's that's the difference well uh it's good i'm really in in it not very much but i saw the first five episodes and it's it's great and the gal breck passenger is really good breck i've never seen that name

before i didn't know how to pronounce it as i was reading all the reviews today, but yeah, she gets, she was 20. She turned 20 on set. Like the day I was there, she turned 20. It's crazy. She's, she's a badass. The speaking of badasses before we let you go.

We also talked about Becky real quick. Yeah. The, the trailer for Becky dropped. I would describe it as home Alone meets American History X. It's funny you said that because we were making Home Alone jokes about it. But that's probably the best one I've heard. So you win.

I'm stealing that. That's good. Wow. Look at you, Johnny. That's good. Did you talk to Kevin a lot on set? I think in the opening shot of the trailer, you see the back of Kevin's head, which is a swastika. And I've never seen anything like that from Kevin James. Did he mention what made him decide to go in a role like that?

Well, I never said, hey, why do you want to play a Nazi? I never asked him why. The scary one to play. Yeah, I don't know what his decision process was. What if you asked him and he just said my politics? Yeah, if he was just like, they've had some good ideas,

I'd be like, whoa. Oh my. Or he was like, this is the last episode of King and Queens that they always wanted to make. And so it was funny like he's in full swastika like full outfit really intimidating looking and he got the netflix role as like that nascar crew chief thing i was like hey nazi congratulations and uh

but i think he took it because those filmmakers, there's a really good movie called Bushwick starring Dave Bautista and Brittany Snow. And it's so great. It's really worth it to watch on Netflix. It's bonkers violent. And Dave Bautista is freaking terrifying. And I read this script and I was like,

oh, the script's really good. And if they do it their way, it's going to be nuts. Cause the scenes where the dogs are attacking people are pretty wonderfully crazy. The whole thing seems crazy. Even right away, obviously the swastika and then just him describing the dogs to you and

your wife. And it's like, Oh boy, this is, this is a lot here. Yeah. It almost reminded me of one of my favorite movies um in the last 10 years i think green room green room was one of my favorite movies of all time

unbelievable movie and it kind of felt like the same had the same vibe to it so i'm very excited for becky yeah i i those guys and the posters are great those guys really know what they're doing and my character well you'll see what happens but uh it's i very i always get it was going to be at the tropical film festival and uh obviously that well i guess it happened virtually but i was really looking forward to seeing it in a big screen with a bunch of people watching lulu wilson running around gouging people's eyes out. And, uh, like we don't want to hurt you. And it's like, no, but I want to hurt you. I was like, hell yeah.

Yeah. It, I think they had, it was so brutal. I think at one point they had to reshoot some scenes that were like to make her look, I believe to make her look less sort of like insane. But I was like like make it more insane like i've been but they knew what they were doing so i not gonna tell them you know something else but uh uh there i was just very excited to be yeah i sound like such i was like i'm very excited to be working with them but when you see my what happens you'll be i thought for a second in the trail you were about to go born ultimatum or something because in the trailer you were about to go Born Ultimatum or something

because in the trailer they think they try and come in and then you do a hand move into their chest and then the next cut you're getting up off the ground yeah because you're supposed to have this huge guy and I'm much physically

taller and broader than Kevin James so I had this guy he was in I'm much physically taller and broader than Kevin James. So they had this guy. He was in Gladiator. And he makes me look like a child. Honestly, all you had to say was Gladiator. I know exactly who you're talking about. Yeah.

He's, I think he was also in Night at the Museum, but he's just fucking huge. And I mean, and then his voice. Yeah, yeah. I think he was also in Night at the Museum, but he's just fucking huge. And I mean, and then his voice. Yeah, yeah. So I was like, oh, you found the perfect guy to make me look tiny. And it was good. But there was another movie there at the film festival, and it didn't happen, obviously,

but that one's called Happily. And at some point when that comes out, you'll have to see that. Cause it's pretty crazy. It hasn't been bought yet, but I think, cause I think the director wants to put it into a festival later. So stay tuned for a movie called happily. Happily. We got Becky, we got darkest timeline,

twilight zone, moral combat. You guys don't even mention that. The moral combat just got released. The, uh, the hard are animated. I play Johnny cage.

Wow. That's pretty fucking cool. Yeah. So animated. I play Johnny Cage. Wow! That's pretty fucking cool. Yeah. How old are you? 48. So were you playing that at all? All the time. That was my high school and college game. I loved it.

That's a hell of a name to add to the resume. Johnny Cage, the Nutcracker was the ultimate move growing up. You dropped Nutcrackers on the playground 24 seven. Yeah. Lip part, but you just hit your friend in the penis. Yeah.

Kevin and I are very confused what you're talking about, but no, I'm kidding. You're talking about playgrounds. You do this now. Sorry. All right, man.

Get back to the kids and get back to work. My wife has talked to me like how I thought you were going to be up there until blank. And I'm like, no. So, uh, get back to guys. My wife has texted me like how I thought you were going to be up there until blank and I'm like no. You guys look well. Congrats John on your relationship. Too bad for the princess. Kevin

four and two year old. I'm in the thick of it brother. I don't know how you do it. Give me like what age I'll be able to like breathe. Nothing gets the only, nothing gets, so it's all just changes because there's new stresses that weren't there before.

Right. The jail break of 24 hours a day goes away. It really does. You start getting more free time and they become, they become adults or they become a, so you definitely and then until this pandemic it flips like that where they're gone all the time right right that comes so much faster than and i hate to say this because you hear i just like enjoy each day you're with

them because it always like it's going to go a lot faster than you think. And it goes so fast. And then all of a sudden they're like, Hey dad, what, what do you say? Fuck so much. And I'm like, all right,

fuck up. That's why you make me say it all the time. Thanks for the words. Thanks for the time and good luck with everything. Yeah. Thank you, Joe.

Thanks you guys. I'll see you in two years. I'll see you at the wedding. good luck with everything. Thank you, Joel. Thank you, guys. I'll see you in two years. I'll see you at the wedding. You'll be invited. I'll be there. I'll be the officiant. Be great. Hold it to it.

All right, you guys. Clean up your room, John. Okay, cool. Ladies and gents, this is the moment you've waited for. Hello. What's up? What's up? What's up? Outdoor Zoom.

What a power move. We were just talking about this. Is this unprofessional? I'm at home with my family, and everyone is in a room on some kind of call right now. And I'm the only one who has to swear and shit, but I'm out back with all my fucking neighbors. Everyone else is talking about business. I'm like, oh. What should we do with this? Numbers. I don't know.

Business shit. Mathematics. Money. I'm going to be out here on a fucking podcast, but whatever. That's hilarious. They're like, we have real jobs, so if you can just go to the shed.

I think it looks great. Is it just the only thing I'd be worried about is wind? Wind? It hasn't. We just kind of did a regular episode out here. No one brought it up. So far, so good. We'll let you know, but I like you getting some sun. I like it.

Yeah, I need a fucking pool. I do have a mic. That's why I have these shitty headphones in because these are the only ones that plug into it but hopefully that sounds okay i would yeah that's no not a problem here um congratulations i just read that you are the youngest female ever and if it wasn't for bo burnham being a fucking savant you'd be the youngest person ever to have a netflix special oh is that true yeah oh is that true? Yeah. Oh, is that true? Oh, good.

Where did you read that? Bo Burnham had a special at 23, which is just crazy. You are, in fact, the youngest female. So congratulations. I'll take it. Thank you. Yeah, I think Bo Burnham and, like, I think Eddie Murphy was, like, 21, wasn't he? Well, I think this was, like, Netflix specials.

Oh, Netflix specials. Was this like a list? Did I miss it? Or is this just something my PR people sent? Where do we find this, Nick? My producer dug it up right before we started. This is in the deck. They're like, it's from an interview you did.

I know there was a radio host who asked me that on like one of these like radio mornings where you just call like 50 people in a row who was like, you're like the youngest person. And I was like, Hey, Bo Burnham and Eddie Murphy. And he was like, well, you know,

besides, I was like, Pete Davidson, I think might be my age, uh, as well. Haven't you learned? If anything,

you just fucking say it and it just becomes true. Right. I'm like, I heard Peteid is actually 47 he's dead he's gone who cares so i don't know no the special was great though um and and i've been loving the quarantine content coming out with you and sam although i gotta admit i'm pretty sure your life right now would be my nightmare. Like new relationship, forced to stay together at all times in the same industry, a competitive industry, and you're living your lives like very publicly. How have you not killed each other yet?

Oh my gosh. I mean, well, first off, are we recording? Yeah. Oh yeah. We're all good. Okay, cool. All right. That affects my answer. No, I'm joking. You know what? It's so funny because he was visiting when everything kind of went to shit. And it was like, are you going to go back to New York? Are we both going to go to New York? Are you going to stay here and wait it out? And at that point, we thought it was going to be a month.

And now it's turning into, you know, who even knows? I mean, LA is going to extend the stay at home order until August, I believe. So LA and New York are, are both not great, but I was very much like, I mean, my place is a little bigger and LA has nicer weather and it might be easier. My personal was on Netflix. Yours was on YouTube. Let's stay in my place. Not at all. Are you kidding me? He's a much better comic than I am. I couldn't pull rank at all. If we were going by who the best comic was,

we'd be in New York right now. But I was like, my apartment has a small balcony. Yeah. We had been dating like five, five five maybe just under six months so it was really soon i mean now we're like at eight and uh it's honestly been great like we i think we still argue less in quarantine than we did being long distance because long distance is just insanely hard like i mean people are used to i agree i every time someone brings that up i strongly disagree i think really because i think it's like when you see each other it's it's like i mean it's not about the first person ever says about long-distance relationships but like when

you see each other it's like vacation and you're dating again and then you just get to do your own shit and it's it's pretty nice i've been in a lot of situations for two years now i mean well yeah especially with you guys both having like big stand-up careers where you're on you're trying to get sets like every single night isn't it kind of nice to be like i couldn't we couldn't even see each other if we wanted to so i'm just gonna go work i mean that this is the thing we've never been with anyone we've dated for this long because we're on the road every weekend so even when i lived with somebody before i saw them you know monday through wednesday and even when he'd like go on the road with me or something and we'd spend a week or two together, you're not spending every second together in the same place.

So except for like my daily walk, we're together. And I, I didn't have much hesitation about it because when you're long distance and you do see each other, you are living together. When you see each other, there's not really like, okay, I'll come to New York and I'll get a hotel and you'll come to distance and you do see each other, you are living together when you see each other, there's not really like, okay, I'll come to New York and I'll get a hotel and you'll come to LA and you'll get a hotel and we'll see each other, you know, for coffee for our second date.

72 hours straight together for the weekend. Yeah. You're still taking long showers for poops kind of deal. Right. And now we're like doors open, babe. But I'm, I really lucked out in out and that just we are very much like best friends we like hanging out and uh we this is like the only situation where we would have found out we work well together in a professional sense because like i was not gonna be this public with him he He, we, neither of us are, we're going to do that before this happened. And now we're like the most public, like we started a podcast. That's essentially just a couple's Instagram account. Like it is.

It's a bold move, Taylor. It's a bold move. Like it's funny. So it works, but would you have ever thought of yourself as like, I'm going to make a couple's account and do like a couple's podcast? No, no, never. And I don't think he would have. Right. Yeah. He, I mean, he would be, I think even less likely to have done something like that. I think he came on the podcast like right before, at least very close to before quarantine started. And I don't think, I think he said, I have a girlfriend who was a comic,

but I don't know if you guys were public at that time or at least like public enough to say on a podcast he was like it wasn't like oh you know my girl it was like i have a girlfriend she's a comic it was it seemed like he was like just kind of downplaying which is the exact opposite of what happened a couple of weeks later at most right right exactly i mean he probably came on when his came out and when his came out in mid to late february that was the first time i posted anything about him and i posted a picture that could have been us just hanging out as friends right so it wasn't super clear and then when mine came out march 3rd he posted like a funny photo set of me sleeping which is like yeah that was i think that was right after he came in i think they were like

wait is he dealing dating carol thompson because he had met again he had mentioned comic but you had a funny tweet kind of about it where i forget what the first thing you wouldn't do is you're like i wouldn't do something with my boyfriend but i would go on the today show with him right yeah yeah it's i think it was uh i've developed very weird standards for this pandemic like i refuse to do zoom stand-up shows but i will go on the today show with my new boyfriend i don't get the idea that i mean i get the idea i understand it you're trying to come up with like a new way to do things but it's just called a podcast? Just do a podcast and don't call it a virtual standup or whatever. Just say I have a podcast. Right. But I think the difference is they have like scripted, they have audiences, you know, on the live zoom. Oh, all right.

I watch you do stand up. Okay, that's crazy. That's funny. I know. That is lunacy. That's lunacy. I would never, ever. I mean, I'm not even a comic, but I could never do that. Wait, does the crowd, can the crowd talk? Like, can you hear them laughing? I think people are still trying to iron out the kinks.

The people that I've talked to, some of them allowed the crowd, the crowd, to laugh so you can hear them on the zoom it's obviously like a delayed laughter but it's there and then i think what a lot of people are doing is they're kind of just like designating the producers of the show or some of their friends as the laughers oh my god so you don't get any crazies like trying to heckle you on a Zoom show? I was going to say like hecklers are hard enough in a comedy basically to look you in the face. I can't imagine like just opening a Zoom call up to the world. It's just like you can hear the N-word a lot. You can hear a lot of really bad things. Oh yeah. I mean I feel like everyone's reps are trying to get them to do stuff on Zoom, like shows and whatnot and content.

And I'm kind of like, how do we vet these people coming in to these Zoom shows? And they're like, well, you know, we can mute them if they start being, you know, inappropriate or we can kick them out. I'm like, yeah, but they have to do something crazy first. Right. I mean, I guess you could say that about a comedy club, right? Like you could run up on stage any night. It seems a little bit easier, like you said, to just do it over the computer. But I guess you could make that argument.

Yeah. I can't imagine doing that, though. Good on you for not caving to that. Is there any chance you do cave? Because there's a lot of things i won't do like join tiktok and then in three months guess who's on fucking tiktok yeah dude i joined i got my name on tiktok i just got like taylor towns and comedy back in february or january and i was like i'm not

doing tiktok and now like i have a full stand-up library on my tiktok and i'm like okay all right that's you have to i feel like we do that with everything new. We're like, this sucks. Never. This is garbage. And then in three months, everyone's like, all right, I'll give it a try. We'll see what it's about. 100%.

The main reason I can't wait to one day die is the sweet release of not having to download another social media app. Like, just take me now, Jesus. I don't want to download whatever's after Tik TOK. How many, how many can we do like for the next 20 years? Are we just going to keep downloading them? Is there a, is there a limit? Is it finite? I can't do it. You get to heaven. He's like, uh,

so first off we're going to need you to hop on God, Graham, create a username. Um, I'm happy you said that because I know part of your special was that you used to be pretty crazy religious, right? And would you say that you're not now or that you've just kind of lessened it? Or like, are you totally out on it or just like not crazy about it or where you stand now? I would say I'm not religious. I don't really have an opinion on all of that that I am sure about. I think I'm one of those people who I guess agnostic where you're just like,

I don't know. I would love it. Are you mad at like, I don't know you, you, you, you, for a lot of your life you were like following rules and doing shit. That's probably not the best. And now you're kind of like, wait a minute. I don't, I don't believe in any of this. Like, was that a waste of time? Why'd you do that? Why'd you raise me that way? You have any feelings like that? Um, you know, I think I had some anger when I was younger and I was dealing with a lot of like the abstinence only education guilt. I think that was probably the

most anger I had. Other than that, I think I've been mostly just sad that I don't feel that way because my entire family is very religious. And I, I just wish I was like in there because it would just be easier. And it was difficult to come to that conclusion that I just wasn't, I wasn't that. But yeah, it's not even like, I'm this is bullshit i don't believe it i'm just like i don't know and it made me uncomfortable going to a place every week where they were like we're sure and i'm like are we though because i feel like none nobody knows and there's a lot of might be the most rational take of all time and the fact that you even have to like well it's like yeah no fucking kidding none of us know last week we we talked about on the show we we had a question here about uh the devil

okay now now the devil and you you this is honest these are honestly got questions because i i i've i went to catholic high school but i haven't really paid much attention then or now. But the devil's job is to sow chaos on Earth, right? So we saw it was on Reddit, I think, where it's like, why doesn't the devil just make hell awesome? And then we'd all want to cause chaos up here. And therefore, he went.

Think about it. Maybe he's such a great angel that he should have thought of that, right? You guys are like the devil's PR Think about it. Maybe he's such a great angel. They should have thought of that, right? You guys are like the devil's PR department. And that's the problem. We say he's got bad PR.

And God and Catholicism is a fucking social media machine. They're a billion strong. And the devil has like a Twitter account with like 250 followers. That's it. God's got the New York Times best-selling book. He's right. We even talked about the Church of Satan's got a great Twitter account, but just it doesn't get as much publicity as the Pope's.

I'm telling you. I don't know what the Pope's Twitter handle. I don't know anyone else's handle. I know Pontifex, though. You're like Satan, baby. You have everything going for you. All right? You're just as good as Jesus. You're like Satan, baby. You have everything going for you. All right? You're just as good as Jesus. You always have been.

But you refuse to play the game. That's your problem. That's why you need us. All right? We'll play the game for you. You just show up in the horns and the tail. Pitchfork, we love that. You be the face.

I'll run behind the scenes, dude. Come on. I think it's genius. All he needs, the devil just needs like a sleazy agent. He needs like an Ari Gold and he'd be popping. Catholicism will be dead. It's a wrap. I mean, I assume you guys are pitching this everywhere. Yeah, this is basically the new crusade in my mind. Yes.

This is your quarantine project. I am now a religious zealot, basically. Basically the new crusade in my mind. Yes. This is your quarantine project. I am now a religious zealot basically. So welcome to the new world order. Just for the bad guys. I don't care. I don't have loyalties. I just got a bank account. You guys should do a pilot where you are, you're fallen PR agents where you used to handle God's PR and then he fires you for somebody else. And so you go to hell and you're like, look,

we made Jesus. That was us. Yes. Yes. You think what a fucking idea I'm taking now we're running. They wanted to sit him on a pole. We were like, no, no, no. That's not going to play well. Think about how that looks on a back tattoo. It makes no sense.

Back tattoo. I love it. I saw. It's a great idea. I'm sorry. That's so good. We told him to get ripped before they crucified him he was scrawny you should have seen arrows you have to get those arrows before you get up there on the cross man imagine jesus up there with a fucking wine belly

you're not gonna get a swimmer's body walking on water. Jesus. Okay, you want this? You think I wanted to wash their feet? My fucking PR team made me do that. I didn't want to touch the lepers. I didn't even like Lazarus. I'm just doing this for fucking PR stunts.

Give me a break. Oh, my God. Letting a prostitute wash your feet is absolutely the PR equivalent of paying a Tik TOK star to like use your sound. Absolutely. Just pimping yourself out. I saw your take about the, on the movie podcast saying, I love this. Cause I've always thought this at the prestige Prestige and the Illusionist, right? Yep. Came out the same way Friends with Benefits and No Strings Attached did.

So which of those two movies do you think are superior? Oh, I mean, the Prestige, obviously, and No Strings Attached, without a doubt. Wait, which one's No Strings Attached? The one with Natalie Portman. It's so much better. It's so much better. It's so much better. Friends with Benefits just has the JT Milakunis appeal. But that's a big appeal.

It's so much better. I know, but as a movie, the period mix? Yeah. I forget the gay roommate's name, but he's sitting there stuck with the Red Velvet cupcakes.

Oh, I can't believe it. It's unbelievable. Yeah, her friends. Oh, go ahead. That movie reminds me a lot of the show Normal People in the sense that I haven't probably normal people back to No Strings Attached, there haven't been as many times where I wanted to jump through the screen and grab the action and be like,

just tell them how you feel. Just do it. Just do it right now. Be honest with them. And those two movies, Movie and Show, are the two times where I felt that the strongest. It's not even close. Look, I love JT.

I love Kunis. It's not even close. It's not even close. I mean, her JT. I love Kunis. It's not even close. It's not even close. I mean, her friend, Natalie Portman's friends in that movie are Greta Gerwig, Mindy Kaling, and Guy Branum. Like, it's just better. The cast is probably a big

check for that column. Yeah, I agree. The dialogue in so many... The dialogue when her boyfriend becomes the villain is so good when he's like, you're the guy she has fun with. I'm the guy she marries. I was like, oh no, I hate him!

I thought he was just a regular guy. No, I hate his guts. He's the worst. It's all so well done. It's an incredibly great movie. Incredibly great. It's so good because it's also kind of true. There is the guy you have fun with and the guy you marry so it's even meaner because you're like i mean some of those cliches are the truest things in the world and it is tough to swallow when you learn that that's real you know like the nice guy finishes last the douchebag gets the promotion like those things

are real yeah yeah if you look at me i'm not the guy you married you're like i'm the long distance relationship guy so you got the movie movie podcast with is there has there been a movie that sam like sam made you watch you're just like i i can't believe you made me watch this yeah the third episode we started by going, we're going to watch Ace Ventura. And then we come back going, we gave up on Ace Ventura. I watched 30 minutes of it.

By the way, I wanted to like it. I got really high beforehand to give it every fighting chance. And I got 30 minutes in, I did not laugh once. And he just paused it and goes if you don't like it maybe we should just watch like back to school because it doesn't

get it's just more of this and I was like yeah I don't know what it is there was that period of time if you're my age Jim Carrey could do no wrong and it was just like tears and then I don't know if it holds up it was a sketch tears and then I don't know if it holds up

it was a sketch it was a sketch that they stretched into a movie is how I felt about it I made the mistake once of making my girlfriend watch a movie that was dear to my heart and it was Miracle the 1980 US Olympic hockey team this gets

important listen I played hockey when I was younger and like i had a lot of fun hockey stories my dad so the movie always gets me emotional and i was i was weeping in bed watching it like not not crying weeping and i was shirtless so i didn't mean to wipe my tears on so i was just like wiping on my arm trying to get like hide my tears broke up the next day. It was coming anyway, but I have a sneaking suspicion it was pretty heavily influenced by that scene.

Me, the adult man, fucking fat, idiot in bed just crying on hockey movies. That is so funny. That is so funny and so sad. Whitney Cummings has that old bit about seeing a guy trip and immediately falling out of love with him it's just like that being that weak she's just like i don't

respect you anymore sobbing at miracle it was but you know what there are women who would love that shit no that's the thing it's it's all or. That's either like, oh my God, I'm going to marry you or it's like, get the fuck away from me. This girl wore leather jackets, so she wasn't in the corner. You got to find someone who wears pleather. I wear pleather jackets and I would have been like,

oh, Miracle is touching. I wear leather with a lot of zippers, holes in her jeans. I'm surprised she didn't beat me up for it i'll be a little girl well uh you're killing it right now taylor i don't know what i mean what's even next like you don't want to get complacent but it's also been a fucking monster year for you huh i mean it was gonna be uh yeah that's right it's I mean, I shouldn't complain. Cause like I've seen,

you know, like for example, like Moses storm, who's really, really funny was supposed to film his HBO special on May 9th, a few days ago. And he posted about it. And I was like, dude, that sucks. Like, I'm so lucky that I got to film mine and that it got out when it did and I mean people keep telling me like this is the best time to have a special because everyone's at home watching Netflix and I'm kind of like I think people were watching Netflix before but sure well I definitely think getting it out right now is good but I think like if you didn't get your special recorded, like will your comedy be stale? Do you have to write new Corona material when you do film the special? Will the jokes you were making be okay? If you, you know, like it just,

it's such bad luck if you were just about to film compared to, you know, it's, it's so, so heartbreaking. I feel so bad for anybody in that position who just booked a show or just got a special and then everything went on pause. It sucks. Sam and I are in a good position where we both had specials come out right before this and are available and that we can keep promoting during this while also doing all these podcasts and doing like more online content and it's frustrating and it just feels like right now all you can do is build up your audience online and i mean live touring will come back eventually we just don't know when and it's been really hard not knowing when because like we're pure stand-ups like that's what we want to do we don't care about doing you're all fucking freaks and i feel like if you don't get your fix on stage i

don't know what's gonna happen you're maniacs yeah no we're nuts i mean sam's been doing this funny series where he he tries out topical jokes on his mom oh good that is actually one of the few things that i think works because his mom is just as funny as like the audience needs to be. And they've got that Jewish mother son dynamic that is just fucking gold. So that, that I approve. I love that. Yeah. It's, it's so good. But again, if you're not willing to do these zoom shows and I know people doing these zoom shows who are like, I feel great after a zoom show show you can hear people laughing and it's like it's just not the same nothing's gonna be the same and even if and when comedy clubs open back up and everybody's like i mean it's already

happening there are clubs open in certain states where tables are just really spread out and they're like you know 30 capacity or something that's be different, but it'll be better than a Zoom show. Right. It won't be safer. So, you know, you're just trying as best you can to pivot and be funny in different ways and retain an audience and keep connecting with fans through all of this so that when we are able to go back to work in the way that we're used to, and we would like to, um,

there are people who want to come out to see us. So. It's like, I mean, you can never predict something like this, but the, you know, the idea of there's always like diversify and don't put all your eggs in one basket is always a good lesson. Cause if you just didn't stand up and you didn't do a podcast, you don't have social media, you know, you're out of luck. So good on you for keeping grinding and loving all the content and congrats on

all the success. And hopefully you're back on stage soon. Thanks, man. Thanks for watching the special. I, I, that means a lot. And I can't wait to see your Satan show. Yeah. The Satan show buckle up, buckle up. We got a hit on our hands. You really do. You got to pitch that. It's so funny. All right. Say hi to Sam for us, all right? I will. Thanks, guys.

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