KFC Radio - Jonah Hills Ex Girlfriend Exposes Alleged Old Messages Ft. Adam Devine

Episode Date: July 12, 2023

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 3:32 The New Layout of The Office 25:06 Love is in the air at Barstool 49:28 John Played Hockey in Minnesota 01:05:28 Feits' wild night at Gay 90's 01:29:21 Throwing the flight attendant for a loop 01:36:17 Oppenheimer and Barbie premiers 01:44:56 Threads is the same as Twitter 01:58:56 Brittney Spears got smacked in the face by Victor Wembanyama’s Security Guard 02:08:44 Usher is causing drama after grinding on KeKe Palmer 02:12:38 Jonah Hill's Ex GF Leaks Texts Between Her and Jonah 02:23:55 Adam 22 receives criticism after Lena the Plug had s*x with another guy 02:31:11 Video Voicemails 02:41:45 Adam Devine Interview ++++++++++++++++++ Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Pirate Water: Go to drink piratewater.com to find pirate water in a location near you or order on gopuffYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Tiger should eat his f***ing head off. Elon Musk should have to take his d*** out for a d*** measuring contest at a Roman Coliseum. And much like Maximus Aurelius had to deal with, Tiger comes running out and just sucks and bites his ass off. KFC Radio live on stage in Jersey City at the White Eagle Hall. It's our local show. We always try to make sure we hit the New York or New Jersey scene.

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social media. Are we rolling? No, we can't roll. Jackie's gets flustered around the air conditioning guy at the office. Jackie's got a new crush. His name is Sparky. I don't think it's the first time you said that. I think you said it like.

Sparky. I've said that I'm into Sparky. Off air. Yeah. I think you just like just kind of hanging out being like fucking hot. Sparky. Get it. I think there's a quote like i would suck

sparky's i love a man who can fucking grease on his hands i mean you gotta you gotta watch on youtube we'll put a picture up of sparky so you get the full sparky's the man sparky is the man he yo there is nobody at parcel sports that respects me sparky is the only one sparky came in here so sparky's like the hvac guy he's always dealing with the heating and the air conditioning and always making sure like the like the everything in the building is working and he would come in and i'd be like sweating and jackie would be like in a sweatshirt and colleen would be under a blanket and it'd be like space heaters going and i'd be like can you i need you to fix the air conditioning and they'd be like no no it's cold and he would look at me he'd be like space heaters going. And I'd be like, can you fix the air conditioning?

And they'd be like, no, no, it's cold. And he would look at me and be like, don't listen to that. He goes, this is about you. He goes, whose name is on this? It's yours. Whose studio is this? This is yours. What you say, I do.

You tell me. Forget about them. I was like, kill them. Fucking killers. I tried to like, after we had like flirted a little bit. So I was like, so like, can you like. we had, like, flirted a little bit. So I was like, so, like, can you, like. No, no. Turn it down a little bit.

And he was like, no, if KFC doesn't say. That's not man. There's only one thing that might break his respect for me. And he'd be like, Jackie's sleeping with him. You're my boy and all. But I mean, come on. Jackie. I'd respect that, too.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I would tip my cap. I'm going to get colder in here no matter what. Fucking Sparky. He actually is the only guy to ever make me feel like, yeah, fucking – you're fucking right. I'm going to go ask for a raise while I'm at it, Sparky. There was one day, one of my earlier times getting to know Sparky, and this is back when I did the Barstool Snapchat show a lot. Yeah.

And he was like, dude, I love you on Snapchat. And I was like, cool, man, thanks. And then walking home, I was walking by a construction site, and some dude was like, Snapchat guy! I was like, am I big with blue-collar workers on Snapchat? Am I in my manual labor error take out my tailor sweater what'd you say love you on snapchat

i love your snapchat tags that's funny sparky's the man uh as you're listening right now Don't want to jinx it Knock on wood Seems like that Sound is gone We'll see how long it lasts Nick just like literally flipped one switch Whether or not air is still coming out God bless you We'll find out

Hopefully it's even colder And we'll freeze Jackie to death The problem here is that they build these studios and different rooms and offices that then separate the air conditioning ducts from – like this used to be an open space and this fucking giant thing with vents would cool down the whole area. But then we just built a couple walls around it to break up studios and whatnot so we did not think about the layout of the new office uh back then and we did not think about the layout of the new office now because we built a whole new new york city area in the new in the office like it's not a new office but it's a new setup inside the office where um none of the desks where people work at have outlets no electricity to charge computers for the internet company it's nice to be getting back to our roots yes

you know what you do let's get a live squirrel every day there's a live squirrel running around here while nobody has electricity. Fuck yeah, Pete. We know we don't have internet. Now we don't have electricity. Let's get a live squirrel and we're back. We got couches though. We got couches.

None of these couches match. None of them are comfortable. None of them look right. It looks exactly like if someone Googled cool corporate office. Yeah. And then they were like That's perfect In 2011 Yeah yeah

Because I think even the cool The lame corporate offices Are probably cooler Than they were now We have the old ones It looks like Like if I was It looks like a WeWork

A glorified WeWork It is If I Yeah Is that the Barstool office Wait that is the Bar No it's not No it's not

But it is It is It's just Oh my god that's the office It's the Barstool office That is the office It's With a couple pillars Like that is the bar. No, it's not. No, it's not. But it is. It is. Oh, my God. That's the office. It's the Barstool office. That is the office. It's, yeah. With a couple pillars, like, that's the office.

It is. What did you Google? WeWork exam. Yep. Yep. You know what this is? You know what just happened? All right.

This will be the inside Barstool portion of the show. Just to take a quick detour, but it'll tie back. The Threads app was launched, and we'll get into Threads a little bit later. But our head of social media, the little finger of Barstool. Oh, my gosh. Gaz, Paul, sales guy, Gaz Golbazinski. He runs the whole company. Yes.

The other day, Dave, when we were talking about threads on the rundown dave said he's like not to get all you know like uh you know uptight about it but zuckerberg if he owns instagram facebook and twitter he he owns like the media and that's too much power in like one hand like in britain they threads is not allowed because of that really you cannot get threads in britain because they're like this is too much for one person and one company to control and and he was like you know zuckerberg runs everything and then as we finish the rundown britain is like you're gonna control everything what's going on you're something like if one country just tried to own all the other countries we're not gonna let that happen. God save the queen. That's crazy.

But by the end of the rundown, I was like, Zuckerberg is Gaz. Gaz is Zuckerberg. At Barstool, every time I want to clear something with sales, any time I want to clear something with social, any time I want to clear something with management,

we talk about it, and at the end they go, we just got to talk to Gaz. And then, you know, last steps is we got to talk to like this this guy i i called him little finger forever but he sits on the iron throne yeah he inherited the company dave checked out erica made him his right her right hand man he he runs all this shit and he does not even lift a finger i don't know if it was ever said he's tom Tom Wamsgams. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He inherited the company.

He was like this buffoon moron who just stuck around and made the right connections. And then when the time was right. Copy and pasted the right FAQs to email the company. Dude, he sent us, here's everything you need to know about threads. And it was literally the, he cut and pasted threads on their website, their FAQs, to the point that he forgot to change the word we. One of the questions – and by the way, if you were to do frequently asked questions for Barstool for threads, it would be like how do I sign up? Can I change my username? Like is there an app, separate separate app or do i open my

like things like that not things like how many countries are you available yeah you know the one powered by meta it's available in over 100 countries and it said okay yes it said yeah you know we're available and i got mad at myself for reading it what did i think i was going to gain from this? When it said, we hope to be in all of the countries by the end of the year, and he sent that as if it was a barstool email, you dickhead.

So, this is all to say that, how was I going to relate it back? Were we talking about the new office? Gaz running everything? It was going to make sense. It was, I swear.

The new office is exactly what it should be. And that's bad. But it's also like it's what we are. We've talked about it where it's like they're – What we've become. You can't – it's just corporate're what we've become you can't it's it's this corporate office that's just what it is if we were trying to pretend to be anything else it would it would be fraud it would be lame like it's just there's it could be it could be it's

it's bad yeah it could be better but the like everything's always gonna be comparisons to chicago from now on forever yes i don't want Chicago's office either. I would have no interest in a fucking dunk tank in the office. We talked about the Fantasy Factory 10 years ago, and then it was a 10-year-late idea. I wouldn't want that either, so I don't know what I'd want. But I was thinking about it today, because we were talking about it right now and I was looking out at it. I was like, what would be the good thing here? The good thing, the only available option is do cool shit.

It doesn't matter. Like when we talk about Milton, we talk like, it was not a good office. It was not fun. It was terrible. It was awful. It sucked. But it's fun. But now we did cool shit.

We can be like, yeah, we had a squirrel. We didn't have internet. And bugs fell from the ceiling. You were romanticizing it. But at the time, it was trash. But you were doing cool shit. Just make cool shit we could be like yeah we had a squirrel we didn't have internet and bugs fell from the ceiling romanticize it but at the time it was trash but you were doing cool shit just make cool shit in the office and then in 15 years you'd be like dude i made cool shit in the fucking lobby of a holiday and express like it is yes that that's all you can do it's it's like it kind of was like you give the tools to whatever like it's not the carpet it's not the carpenter it's not the toolsenter. It's not the tools. It's the carpenter. Like sure there,

I mean, there could be other things that you could, but I don't know, like what do we want to have a big fucking thing that we're going to use twice a year? That doesn't make any sense either. Yeah. But I,

I, I, I don't want the fantasy factory, but I just wanted more shit to do. Like when you go to a fun bar, there's usually like some cool spaces to sit and then, like, a couple things to do. Yeah. And I was like, let's just try to make that environment.

And instead it just became a bunch of different disjointed couches. And then they left two arcades in the room. It very much has that vibe of, like, I think I said it already or if I said it right now. But like we're not an regular office. We're a cool office. Yes. We have to say that out loud, which we are saying by our setup. It's not. And they kept showing me designs and I was kind of like I've told you what I want and you're not doing that.

So don't show this to me anymore because I don't know. Like you said, I don't know what I want. I don't know what the answer is. I don't know what cool couches are versus what are ugly couches. Or what's a – like that couch looks like it's from a WeWork lobby. I don't know sort of if you bought like a living room couch, like a big fucking comfy couch. I don't know what to put in there. But I was also like just – I don't know.

Just do what you're going to do because that's what always happens. And then we have to do what we're going to do because that's what always happens. And then we have to do what we're going to do. So this is all to say, though, there's no electricity for the people who need to charge their computers. There's a bunch of couches, one that doesn't have legs to it. You can't sit on it. Don't sit on that one. It's going to break. None of them, like, match or are cohesive but i came into the office usually where i would have just sat in the in our studio and i said i'm gonna go out there and hang out and within two minutes

me trent glenny rudy marty bob uh all – it was like old school. Like we were shooting the shit. We were recapping Frankie's wedding. We basically had a podcast. We were talking about Trent on The Bachelor. We were making fun of Trent and how he lives in Long Island now and Glennie. I like how we had a podcast. Having conversations is just becoming – we had a podcast.

It's a podcast. But it was – I mean Liam and Zach came to film it because I think they're just like starving for stool scenes type content and I mean I think Zach might have filmed a 30 minute video on his phone because they were just like we need all of this content now we haven't been getting it in New York

so at least for today it did a better job and I think it will be fine it will be a place to sit and also if the clips that you see and the videos that you see of those conversations are funny and good. Like if you think about the good stool scenes moments or the funny in-office moments when like Dave is like calling Tommy alarmingly stupid and stuff. No one's ever like, oh, look at the office. It's about what's going on. It's about doing good shit with good people, and then the rest of it doesn't matter.

The problem is if the content's not perfect, people start to look at other things, and then it's like, oh, and also this place sucks. It is. It's like it's part of the way the world is now, not just with media companies. It's with like the – know it's with birthing announcements like everything needs to be like an announcement it's just like oh we put some couches in the office don't say it's a redo or redesign yeah if you're gonna say that like you have to nail it you well you have to know this wasn't gonna nail it that's where we have some we move some desks

and we put some couches it doesn't need an announcement yeah the way i wanted to do it was more of a fantasy factory. Not a fantasy factory, but more just like activity-based and things that you do because I think that would have been a redesign of like the way we do things. I think rather than just come in and sit on a couch with someone, if we put on a lav mic and they're doing something and it's like you kind of hang out here and then you walk over there and the whole time we're filming the conversations and that is the content i think that almost changes the content game in a way but if you're if that's not going to happen then it just is going to be a room yeah then like i don't know then i don't know then it's like i i don't really care how it looks or as long as we can get some of that content to be good. They're supposed to be doing what you want in the bar area when they go to redesign that. But I don't know what the timeline is on that.

It's just like, but they're going to have to destroy a bar and then put in that stuff. But you like the bar. The bar was a cool thing. We used the bar five fucking times. Well, you got to use the stuff if they put it in. That's for certain. There is going to be a different bar, I'm pretty sure. But it'll just be.

I mean, Friday Night Pints, if they sold it, it would have been. It was a good show. And that setup was unique and different. And I think even if we used it once a week the way we did, I think that justifies having a bar. But we were the only ones that did it. Right. But, you know, yeah. If it's just going to be people blogging and going to their studios, then that space doesn't really matter. But I don't know. This is all to say it doesn't really matter what it looks like as long as good and funny shit comes out of it.

But if you're taking it at a face value and it's talked about as a redesign it's just a bunch of like office couches like lobby couches that's what they are i think again like kind of like it is what we're supposed to be like it kind of speaks to like the company as a whole where i think we're in like a stage where middle middle ground yeah it's like when you're growing your hair out yeah and you have to go through that awkward it's a great call like we're not the fucking plucky upstarts anymore yeah and but we're It's a great call. Like we're not the fucking plucky upstarts anymore. Yeah. But we're not like a TV channel. We're not iconic either.

We're just a fucking big company. Yeah. And that's what it looks like. Right. It's like, yeah, you have to live through this and hopefully get out the other side and become like a company where it's like – Well, you also – Has a campus, but there's – Yeah, yeah yeah yeah i also think

that these things kind of develop like you live in them and then it's like then it's like oh that's the that's the couch where we like do xyz on it because we've been here for a couple months yeah and whenever we film that's where we do the casting couch that's right you know because these things like take form once you once you do it a little bit um but the new york redesign is awesome says steven chay of course this this is steven chay his office is steven chay um but it is very funny that there is no electricity because it's just, how does that not get thought of at all? Frank is mad that he has to sit on couches now. So Dan apparently keeps whispering in his ear, they're squeezing you out. They're trying to get you on his couch.

He has to like, he like can't watch his TV and he has to sit on a couch, which is just no go for Frank. I guess he doesn't do couches. Frank the Tank doesn't do couches, I guess. Um, so, but this is also to say, uh, that this would have been like a thing and complained about like no matter what, you know?

Yeah. Unless you make it a thing and nailed it, then it's fine. But if you make it a thing, you have to know you're gonna nail it. Otherwise it's going to be like, okay, why is there an announcement for,

I guess the rundown sets a little different. Yeah. They changed. going to nail it. Otherwise, it's going to be like, okay, why is there an announcement for I guess the rundown set's a little different? They changed some desks? Do other companies announce when they change desks? I don't think so. Why is there all the ham on the rundown set? Is that just a joke that someone's trying to do, or are we sponsored by cans of ham? I mean, you never know.

I think it's somebody trying to do a joke. I'm not sponsored by anything um but it's uh well i maybe this is why i brought up gas before i really can't remember why i did that but when i when i said to dave like he he runs the company now he was like how he's never even he's never even there you know you got to find him at the chicken box or space or 11 one of those clubs all the time so it's also like the people who are going to be here are the ones who really got to live it and do it and like it and all that shit. You just have to do cool.

You have to just do good stuff. No matter what the office looks like, just do cool shit and the office will be cool because cool shit happens in it. At the very least, I do think it will inspire a little more. I don't go out there when I was like, I don't even have a desk anymore anymore i don't want to sit at a desk i want to go like shoot the shit and if a couple guys are sitting around like a table and i can sit on the other couch and talk i'll go do that right and then that just spurs like you know conversation and collaboration and storylines and all that sort of shit um i mean we talked for half an hour about Trent abandoning his family in Iowa. It's great. I'm trying to convince Trent that he should go live, like, anywhere he wants. And because that son of a bitch Frankie Borelli is holding him back.

He lives in Bayshore, Long Island. For what fucking reason? He should just go live like Riggs does, like live on a golf course. Go live on Pebble Beach or some shit, you know? So we're like, go, just do it. Just go. Just go, man. Don't worry.

So, yeah, that's that's the new office. I do think I'm going to talk next week a little bit more about what is going to be going on inside the office, not just how it looks. But there's been a lot of fanfare about Chicago, and we're going to get into some of the what's actually going to be going on in New York. But we'll do that next week. But I am interested to see what happens with the plugs because i don't think you can just like throw in an outlet i think you have to like wire it all and uh that's insanity it is fucking it's like i it's it's actually to the point where i'm just like a disappointed i'm not it's just i

didn't i'm not surprised but god you fucking stepped on your nuts again you know what you know what is kind of crazy though as much as you're what i'm what you're saying is true like like do we announce do other companies announce when they change a desk it's like we probably should have hired like an interior decorator company, right? I like, I think like that, like Logan just like did it himself. And like, people were just like coming up with their own blueprints.

And it's like for a company of this size where we're like, it's starting a new chapter. We probably should have done this professionally. And I think we just did it ourselves, which is, I mean, that is the barstool way and all that. But it's like,

again, are we doing it this way? Like, are we going, are we going to be the old Barstool or the new Barstool? But this in-between is like, meh. There's a 30 Rock episode where they're trying to design a new, unique kind of microwave. And they're, like, all working hard, working working late nights ties come and lose blah blah and i think they finally nailed it and like we did it and then someone comes with a fresh pair because they had it mobile like you could move it was on wheels and they had multiple doors and all

this stuff and then someone comes in with new eyes and goes it's a pontiac aztec and they're like scrap it we fuck and i think that's what happened. Like, oh, we're going to have this and this. And then a fresh pair of eyes walked in and went, that's a hotel lobby. Yes. I guess that is probably the case. But not that we could have done this exactly. But do you remember every time we – the first time we did it and every time we brought somebody to – I think they called it the great room in Whistlepig? Yeah.

That big room. Like everyone was like, wow, this is a fucking awesome room and that was you know it's rustic and had this huge fireplace and uh and and mounted you know antlers and all these things that you can't really have in an office but you know when you like walk into a place that's like whoa this is cool yeah and because the beauty of barstool is like all right we do need some desks with electricity but other than that we can do whatever the fuck we want. So we probably should have, I don't know, hired somebody or found somebody that's like, I guarantee you this is a problem for other companies and other people that somebody has solved.

You want to be modern, but you don't want to look cliche. You don't want it to be an office, but you don't want to look like you're trying to not be an office, blah, blah, blah, blah. This is what we do. And we instead were just like, give me some Raymoor and Flanagan couches. So whatever. It's all about the like, give me some Ray Warren Flanagan couches. So whatever. It's all about the content, not about how it looks anyway. So if the people could have it, they would want us in a dentist's office with a squirrel chewing through the cords.

To do the Milton, which everyone looks back on so romantically, as we said, that was a genuinely depressing office to look into. People would come in and be like like how have you guys are you guys alive yeah why haven't you you guys should kill yourself i did that like i people most really regard as like the most negative person in the world i remember walking in and almost being like annoying like i was like trying to chat everybody up i was like what's up blue how you doing man and how about you no one talked to each other because i was like what is going on here guys like let's it was the middle of the summer let's hang out a little bit and it was just like head down like fuck this and mind you like even in the moment i'm saying we look at it romantically even in the moment i did like it like it was like not like i wasn't like this

is a great office but i liked it because it had the feel of like we're just working like we're here we're fucking blogging we're being funny like we're just we're working yeah and i think that's what here should have too we're just we're working that's what we're doing right if work is fun but we're fucking working look at that. Oh, my God. What is that? That room was ridiculous. So, yeah, we'll see what the new gas motherfucker. At some point, you do just have to tip your cap with gas. There was a period of time where I joked about him. Then there was a period of time where I realized it was a reality.

Then there was a period of time where I was resentful of it because I was like, are you fucking kidding me? And now I'm just like, bro, as somebody who preached about mailing it in and snake it till you make it and all that, he did it better than maybe anybody has ever done it. Yeah. Truly. His skills, his skill set that he was like born with and like what he was and the amount of money he's made and like the title and the power he holds at Barstool. It might be the greatest case in human history of like outkicking your coverage or overachieving in the business world. Yeah, it might literally be. This is like a tall, bald asshole who became a millionaire and like runs like behind the scenes, runs like a billion dollar company. It's fucking insane. So, yeah, we'll see what comes next. around this long to now see you know love is in the air at Barstool and to see multiple engagements and a wedding

and all these things that again at regular companies it's not fanfare when somebody gets married in another company someone gets engaged at a different company it's just like okay you are just an employee here you have your life something happened in your personal life okay here it is I mean but I guess You are just an employee here. You have your life. Something happened in your personal life. Okay.

Here it is. And I like that. We're a reality show. So we are, you know, it is a big deal. But the chicks in the office dual engagement coming right before the Frankie Borelli wedding. I mean, the season like 20 script or whatever, season 19 script of Barstool is certainly one for the record books. I

don't want to call it the deal with the devil with Dave, because especially in this case, because there are things that he was like directly on the opposite side of and against. But in general, the deal of the devil with barstool and the timing of everything like these two getting engaged a day apart is fucking you can't script it it's like absolutely unbelievable and the content that will come

out of this you know they're already joking around about bride wars and all that sort of shit like two girls who became inseparable do the show every day grew from like you know where the girls were like full t-shirts in the merch closet to i forgot about that oh yeah that's where that's where they filmed my brother filmed them in the merch closet was their first episode yeah literally a closet uh and now are like, you know, this powerhouse show in the entertainment world. They're on red carpets. They're nominated for People's Choices Awards.

Fran and Rhea, Rhea and Fran, like everything all the time. And then within like a 24-hour window, they all get engaged. It's crazy. And then to watch Frankie get married is like, I guess Frankie's actually an adult now, right? He's like 28, 29. Yeah, he's crazy. And then to watch Frankie get married is like, I guess Frankie's actually an adult now, right?

He's like 28, 29. Yeah. He's older. Like that's, that's, you know, I still think of Frankie as like a kid.

It's like, you know, he's, he's old enough to be getting married. But, um, the Borelli wedding was over the weekend and they, they,

Frankie and, and his wife nailed it. It was like it was at beth page black right or no that's where yes beth page black and um it was like classy and nice but then also got fun later like sometimes you can't really have it all it's like it was the fun wedding yeah but it looked like shit right the food was bad and then sometimes it's like wow this place is really you know very nice but that means you can't like have fun on the dance floor and all that shit it was really like the perfect blend of it um your video of matt martin and whoever else trying to take tommy's shirt off was dude so goddamn funny there was so many i'll take it i'll take it i'll just don't

rip my buttons it was so perfect there was actually a lot of funny videos i maybe we'll put some in this video that i didn't post stew finer at the wedding so first of all let me let me go to the to the to the church itself we are in we're in the church in the afternoon stew finer is dressed literally like the guy at the club who gives you drugs and he was talking about how he's like i you know i got a guy who can give us eight balls for the after party right now he's in t-shirt a t-shirt but it's like it's not like a t-shirt it's like a club shirt you know it's a club t-shirt like it had at the wedding yes at the at the at the ceremony it was like uh i think it was maybe louis so it was like lv lv lv like white on white you know what i mean like stripes so it wasn't just a t-shirt. And he had red velvet dress shoes on.

He said, because I live five minutes from the church, so my real wardrobe changed at 7 at the reception. Why couldn't you just put on something nice? That's also a very Barstool thing. If someone was doing outfit changes at your wedding, he'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? So perfect lead in. So Dave actually tweets the picture of him

and starts kind of like ribbing him on Twitter. And then Stu pulls it up and starts showing his phone to everybody. And Stu went from church voice to like loud voice. Like, ah, ah, ah. And I had to be like, shh, shh, shh. Like, calm down, calm down, calm down. But like you said, perfect barstool moment.

Frankie and his wife are on the altar literally saying their vows. And I'm sitting next to Stu. It's Dave, me, Stu. And Stu turns to me, and he said it. His delivery was so dead serious, and his choice of words were so preposterous. I thought he was joking so I chuckled and laughed and then I realized he just kept looking at me like so what's the answer

as Frankie's like literally to have and to hold to death do us part he says to me do you think Frankie wants me to take a video of this right now and post it on the internet I was like I can't think of anything they would want less than that. Like in the moment you being like from 30 rows away in church and then just posting it right there. Are you going to subtitle it here?

And so I was like – and then he looked at me and I had to be like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Do not do that. But he was so tame at the reception. No ready to roll no crazy nonsense all he did was film the whole wedding get your your videographer hire stew finer he would just be like the band is fucking awesome and then he would just stand there like one hand at his side one hand here i actually had a video of me filming him doing the video uh everything the singer the the the pianist the he was filming like the room he's filming the speeches it's just like he's got four hours of content on his phone uh but no like he just kind of sat with the beautiful sandy and just kind of uh was just – let me see if I have the video of him filming.

He was just filming the – like as if he needed to take this home and watch like game tape. It was pretty ridiculous. But, yeah, so the Islanders are at the wedding. And when they get going, apparently their thing is – naturally they rip clothes off. I think – I guess it's a hockey thing or an Islanders thing that when Piano Man comes on, you take your pants off and sing it. So I guess at Matt Martin and Sidney Esiason's wedding, he's pantsless singing Piano Man. But their thing is they all rip each other's shirts off.

And it was funny even hearing them say it. They were like well because you know like we're you know basically we're all gay you know we're all gay shit and so the beginning of the night is pretty tame and there's music for the older people and we're eating and you know at that point and they're like we're feeling it out like we don't know and the wives the wags are like this is not one of our weddings like you can't you can't do that eventually and this all stems from when frankie was at one of their weddings i think he was at casey sezikis's wedding they ripped frankie's shirt off in the first hour and he said he said

quote and you know frankie's telling this to me on the dance floor he's like they did it to me at the other wedding i'm walking around my cum belly out the whole time. He said he sat at dinner with his cum belly out. No buttons. Just like still had the tie on, I think, like around his neck. No buttons. So they eventually get Frankie. They rip his off. They rip a couple others off.

There was one guy from Frankie's, like, hometown. I don't know who he is. Big boy, though. Big guy. He got ripped off, and he was just doing Odoil rules the whole time. off there was one guy from frankie's like hometown i don't know who he is big boy though big guy he got ripped off and he was just doing doyle rules the whole time every time i turn around i can see the guy's pits i was like put your pits away man uh he was apparently he was like the the crazy one at the bachelor bachelor party who like didn't change his clothes for three days i was like that

that checks out uh they're getting everyone left and right and And Frankie's like, we're getting you, Tommy. We're getting you. And I can just see Tommy being the neurotic little, like, non-Jewish Jewish boy that he is being like, oh, no, I don't want this. And eventually it was just like – I think Frankie, like, sicked Matt Martin on him. He was like, go get him. And he's like, you, you're next. And he's coming at him with his paws. And Frankie – Tommy legitimately negotiated. He was like, okay, okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait,'s coming at him with his paws. And Frankie, Tommy legitimately negotiated. out so however you want to get there sounds good but i mean could not have been more of a time

it's a brand new shirt guys like you guys are nuts they want to rip his necklace to his belly button that was crazy that was nuts there was some there was some interesting stuff there he had he had a he had that neck that chain hanging to his dick He could have put that around his dick. Rudy had the bolo tie. Dave had no tie. That was a bit of a thing. I saw apparently your boy made a video being like, you got to have a tie at the wedding. Who's your boy who makes those TikToks? The fashion guy?

Oh, no. Not the TikTok. The tweets. Tweets. Oh, okay. Yeah. He actually said it's a good outfit, but he just said you got to wear a tie at a wedding. I'm a big – I think you can get to a wedding and be like, oh, this is casual.

I'll take it off. But I think you should always have a tie at the wedding. Even summertime, whatever you want, just always have the tie, and then you can adjust accordingly. Rudy wore the bolo tie. It was funny it was like the guys who were getting their shirts ripped off versus the guys who weren't like trent had on his shirt his tie and his jacket the whole night and no one was fucking with big guy nobody was ripping that open nobody wanted to rip it open it was kind of just like uh you know certain people are getting ripped apart and certain people are not um but yeah that was the

Barstool gang there great wedding great time Frankie and his wife nailed it I said to him you went you almost batted a thousand you went one thousand nine hundred ninety nine out of two thousand but the table number

sign was an issue. Why? I meant to bring it in because I stole it. We're going to put it up on the wall of fame here, or at least somebody's wall of fame. The Dave was – it's actually a nod to how great the wedding was because Dave is going to come to your wedding, and he's going to criticize it and tell you what he doesn't like. And the only thing he could do was our table eight sign and he talked about it now now to be fair that picture is unbelievable don't zoom in don't just bring it back out

it's literally like one of those highlights like can you find a picture yeah can you do you even do you see it no wait what it's like a stop sign it's like and then eight is in there and then it says eight written out oh on the tablecloth is eight no that's what i mean it's It's a plastic thing standing up. It's a plastic sign. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Okay.

Right. So Dave goes, he's like, I mean, he goes, if Marina wasn't already sitting at the table, I wouldn't even know. I wouldn't even be able to find my seat. And we all kind of see it, especially that picture. That picture is crazy. It's like camouflage. It's like in a visibility cloak.

And then like 10 minutes later, he's like, that sign, table eight. Which is out of nowhere he'd be eating, and he'd just bring it up. His tweet was very funny. He said something like, there's some lost souls who never made it to our table. There's a good man at table eight who never made it uh the like let me show you the picture i took so like yeah you can't see it there at all right but then when you have the flash it's fine oh yeah yeah so um in defense of the barelli wedding and hannah and i'm sure whoever put all this effort in,

she said there was supposed to be a candle behind it. And when there's light behind it, you can see everything. So that's what was going on there. But in typical Dave and Barstool fashion, it's like when you post a picture and in the background, there's the wires for your TV. And now nobody cares about the content of the video and what you're doing. It's just about the wires for your TV. And now nobody cares about the content of the video and what you're doing. It's just about the wires of the TV. All of a sudden, for like an hour at our table,

the Borelli wedding becomes about table eight and the fucking sign. And it's every frequent, like every five minutes. I mean, it's crazy. It's crazy, guys. It was straight out of Larry David. It was straight out of Curb. It was so unbelievable.

And he was just like, I think I'm going to write a blog, the 10 things that the Borellis got wrong at their wedding. And, I mean, Tommy was like, I can't tell Frankie this. He's going to hang himself right fucking there. But the way, like, as funny as that, the whole thing Dave was doing was, it was Frankie, like, asking and finding out about it. He comes over to, like, Trent and like his boys, you know, and he's like, hey, guys, everyone's having fun, you know, and he's like, how's Dave? Is Dave good?

What does he think? And they were like, it's good. He's good. He's having a good time. And he's like, yeah, like he's enjoying himself. And they're like, he's yes. And Frankie's like, what? What the fuck's's going on i can hear it in your voice what's the problem and he they're like the table sign was a thing it was a thing what do you mean it's a thing what does that mean it's a

thing it was a thing it was just a thing what the fuck do you mean and he's explaining it and frankie's like what i'm gonna do you mean? And he's explaining it in Frank. He's like, what the fuck? I'm going to fucking kill these people. I knew I told them. But, I mean, in the end, it was like that was the only thing, you know, to really pick apart. But, I mean, he is just – when he left, like he dipped out once. I think people got probably like if i had to guess maybe three four rounds of drinks in and they just started coming up to him and that's when i think he was

like all right i'm out um but you know the the the vibe just changes like you know entirely it was funny it was like we were almost like everyone's picking like okay who can i like like who can we slaughter so that he's not picking on us who are there? It was Nate. Dave said his new hobby is just looking at Nate's tweets and how little engagement they get and laughing about them. He actually shouted you out on the rundown. He said you nailed it, that every Nate tweet should be followed by blah, blah, blah. Dude, I texted Nate that night. I was like, I don't think this is the intended purpose,

but everyone here tweets when you laugh out loud. When he got on the plane and then it landed back. Dude, that one in particular fucking crushed me. Dave was like, he goes, whether he's breaking his leg, whether he's losing his citizenship in America, whether his plane's delayed, whether he's getting beat in poker, I love it. I can't get enough of it. Yeah, he has been a sad boy season for sure.

He texted me the other day. He's like, everyone's getting engaged or married. I was like, I know where this is going. Does that make you happy? Because it makes me depressed. So yeah, I had a feeling. All my friends are finding the love of your life. Does that make you happy?

No. No. Yeah, he is just leaning into the sad boy, but not even like meaning to. It's just so sad. So he just like, I mean, it was just like anytime it felt like maybe you were going to be in the crosshairs, it was just like, so Nate. It is funny watching people not know still how to deal with Dave. Like I watched Trent and rigs do it at one point who are like seasoned veterans.

You would think we'd get it. Dave was like, so where are you boys off to next? In what world do you think Dave actually cares where you're going? He's obviously, obviously about to talk about bamboozling and how much and rigs i think unless he played it like like gorgeously which i just don't think he did i think he honestly he goes i think it's either hawaii or like pebble beach next i'm not sure and dave of course was oh okay

i don't know which one it is is it is it the Amalfi Coast or is it Italy or is it Hawaii? I don't know. And I'm like, you fuckers did not see that coming. As you were about to say where you're going next, I was like. It's like he is not interested in where you're going. Are you kidding me? So, yeah, there was a other like conversations like that where people like it's like did you forget who you're fucking talking to he had a couple moves though that

were i mean we we got out of the reception and we're all outside the church and there's a gap there's a few hours in between stew is trying to recruit everyone to his house i'm five minutes away let's go i got the best coke in the fucking world. Oh, by the way, he carries a, like, not a satchel. It's almost like a man clutch. Yeah. It doesn't have a thing. It's just a leather, and it's pretty thick. It's got this, like, flap, and he had his cell phone, and, like, I don't even know what else in there.

But I was just like, oh, is that, like, what you carry? And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, I've been doing it since 1981. Back then, I had $100,000 thousand dollars cash a gun and an eight ball but no he goes a hundred thousand dollars cash a gun and an eighth of a key but you know uh now it's just like my phone and my little like pocketbook what but he so he's recruiting people to go to his house we're talking i didn't i didn't bring this up but trent wanted to do it, and I think maybe Dave heard these words. Trent said, let's try to find a Buffalo Wild Wings.

And Dave, legit, there's kind of a circle of people, and Dave's on one side. And I watch him. He takes his phone out. He kind of looks at his phone. Then he looks up, and he raises his hand like this. Like, imagine if me and you were in a conversation but somebody walked in the room and i just went oh hey let me be right back like a way to check out of the conversation i put my hand up you recognize me you recognize that i got to go somewhere and i'm now leaving this this circle dave puts his hand up starts walking that way there is nobody there and i you not, the man teleported.

I looked over and was like, did anybody see that hand? And by the time I looked back, he was 100 yards away. I was expecting like a Back to the Future, like the fire. He was gone, just walking solo across an empty parking lot. I was like, I don't even think he has a car here. Just into the woods? I honestly think he just walked into the woods. I think he just hid behind a tree.

And then I think he drove to Montauk two hours away to do pizza reviews and then drove back. It's just watching him operate is just fucking – I'll never forget that. Oh, yeah, right there. It's a great move. Great move. Yeah. Because everyone kind of was like, oh, there must have been somebody. I don't know.

You know what I mean? Nobody thought that he really did that. I was kind of like, I'm pretty sure he just faked out everybody. But it was just, you know, he always says, like, you know, I'm going to leave because, like, nobody can have fun when the boss is around. Well, that's why you're doing it. You're doing it for everyone else. That's why you're leaving. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure thing. And last couple things. Frankie Brelli's dad. You know, one of the most awkward things, I think we've reached a point of, like you said, when you're stuck in between like the Barstool world. Yeah. I think society is stuck in between the wedding entrance of do we do me and the bridesmaid do like a choreographed dance or do we just walk out? You know, you don't want to be lame and do nothing.

But gone are the days of like you hike me your your your flowers and i throw it to you and so people you know you're trying to figure something out what hasn't been done yet what's fun but also not over the top frankie barelli's dad came out with a with a rubber pizzas that they used to practice and starts doing the pizza throws. That's sick. Spinning around as he does them and catching them with one hand. And so that was a great moment. He got picked up and carried like a statue of Jesus. He looked like Christ the Redeemer. They weren't throwing him.

We were just carrying him. It was just like moving him around. But that family is fucking great. By the end, it was all you know ripped off shirts and uh and they did the shout second to last mr right side last which i you know i we had talked about i think there's kind of like a growing thing yeah yeah i still think i would flip them you think shout let die? I like Shout. I like it even a little earlier. I think Shout is still... Because what happened was we did Shout, and they said,

we got one more for you. It's by request. And you heard the like, and everyone knew it, and they erupted. Then the crowd did one more song, one more song, and then they did Sweet Caroline,

and it was kind of like, we went down in levels of excitement. But that's almost all right. I'm all right with it. I don't like getting on the highest high. Well, yeah, I guess there's some logic to that because then they were like head out to the patio where the party's going to keep going. The room is closed, but they had Borelli's pizzas out there,

and everyone's going to have cocktails. So I guess maybe it's a way to ease off. But I still think Shout has the finality of it where it's like you're gonna leave it all on the table yeah it's all on the field you can sweat you can rip your pants you get you know it's over um but but i you know i've heard about that but i haven't been to a wedding yet where mr brightside was the closer and uh that's crazy to make make a new classic to get into that level. And that's pretty cool for them. But yeah, all in all, Frankie, the Borelli wedding was A-plus stuff.

It's just funny how much it is at Barstool. It's like a little bit of a reality TV show wedding. It's like the royal wedding in our world. So two engagements and a wedding. Everybody's getting old, John. Everybody's getting old, John. Everyone's getting old. Game time created by fans for fans.

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Download the game time app or go to the website, enter your email and redeem code KFC for $ 20 off your first purchase team terms apply download the game time app or go to gametime.co enter your email redeem code kfc for 20 with your first purchase you um somehow you're still playing ice hockey i'm surprised you're fucking alive i was like someone's gonna blow out a knee or a shoulder. I was pretty all right. I actually don't know if I said on the show, but I went to a chiropractor. Yeah. And he's like a sports medicine as well.

And I've had that hip that you told me was a hernia for a while. And he did like two things. And, uh, he, he did like two things and he was just like, you have a torn head. He's like, he was like, how long has this been happening? I was like,

probably like three, four months. He's like, yeah, it's, it's 100%. I don't know what to tell you. It's your,

your labrum is torn in your head. I was like, I was like, I was like, all all right let's say hypothetically i'm playing hockey next week what do you suggest he's like suggest you do a hell of a warm-up because he was like you don't play hockey he's like it's like 99 of the time you don't get surgery on this kind of thing so he gave me like some pt stuff for it but yeah i played with torn hip um you know i will say you're you're you're annoyingly in shape. You're in great shape. You look trim. Thanks.

That's nice. It's not just me. Somebody else, when you made your video about all your travel troubles, I reposted it on my Instagram. And I got more than a few people being like, is he working out? He looks – he's in shape. I was like, fuck you guys. But I feel like you're as trim as you've ever been. I'm jumping a lot of rope.

Laughing out loud on the porch. That looking trim kind of ties into really what is the highlight, and by highlight I mean low light, of the trip for me. What age do I look? Oh, boy. I want everyone to think about this. Jackie's face. Not look.

I don't know how to answer this question. What age am I passing as? The lowest you could go. Lowest I could go. And I'm going to tell you why I'm telling you this. So, unbelievable event Minnesota Wild put on. It's called the Crazy Game of Hockey. OAR, Corey Wong.

It was great. It was awesome. It was really, really fun. I don't think I knew that was the title. That's cool. Crazy Game of Hockey yeah this was the first year of it

I don't know any other franchise that does anything like it I think it's gonna be way bigger next year like it's gonna be it's gonna be

like next year I've heard the plans for it already it's going to be what is it like hockey and music like Friday night it's like a VIP event

where there's comedy and like dinner and it basically is like red sox if you're from boston listening it's like like fan fest what a weekend that they do like all the players are there and shit like that and oh i forgot my fucking thing but all right there's a bunch so the the at the fan fest everyone who's playing had cards they're celebrities like mostly right it's it's a good mix of former players, current players, celebrities, and like – And one podcast.

Two. She was there. Okay. And we walk in, me and Chief, and they hand us our deck of cards to autograph and give out to people. Bro, they're this big. They gave me 500 of them. It was a thick stack. I sent Kevin the pictures, so I'll send pictures of this. They gave gave me $500. It was a thick stack. I sent Kevin the

pictures, so I'll send pictures of this. They gave me so many cards. I have every single card still. I have every single card still. They gave you cards to autograph and give out? Yeah, people would come up to you and be like...

That should be like you give them cards and they come to you and say, can you sign this? Yeah. Because it's kind of like, you know, let me sign this and here you go. I'm going to hand this out to you guys, you losers. It's like little kids running around in jerseys. Again, like the team is there. They're there for the team. Right.

I was talking to Mark on the flight back where it's like the event is about the players. It's about watching the players interact with celebrities or whatever you want to call it. And it's, like, seeing them kind of out of their element. And, like, it's fun. It's a good time. Instead of just seeing them, like, giving their reporting and all that. And, like, you need the celebrities there to make it fun. But, like, everyone there is there to see the players.

It's not really to see the podcaster or something like that. But anyway, so there's that thingiday night saturday afternoon is the game sunday night big concert uh oar cory wong neon trees came uh started with a whisper it was crazy it was like it was jammed out at the armory in minneapolis that's the apple commercial right i think that's one yeah yeah um it was it's at the Armory which we were in the Lakers suite

like all the players who played like got a suite and we're in the Lakers suite and I was like why is it fucking purple and gold here that's weird

and it hit me that that's where the Los Angeles used to play with the Minnesota Lakers and it was awesome and it was great and then the last song

they have all the players come on stage and we're singing Mark actually put his arm around me and put the mic in my my nightmare bro what what song i actually did i think it's called black sheep is it one of their songs no no it's um that is my nightmare when that happens it was uh hang on where is it here i can't even. The Black Crows. Hard to handle by the Black Crows.

Now, you know the song. Okay. Like, it's, hey, little mama. That's hard. No one knows those words. And that's just what I did. Yeah. And then I. I did. Yeah. And then I – You go hum a na-na-na like that?

Yeah. Because I'm going to show the handyman. I think when I sing, I say the handyman candyman. I don't know. Hey, little mama. Hey, little mama. I don't even know. Because Mama sure hard to handle now gets around.

What the fuck? Yeah. The lyrics – because I looked at – my dad asked me what song it was, and I looked up even know. Sure, hard to handle now. Gets around. What the fuck? Yeah. The lyrics, because I looked at my dad asking what song it was, and I looked up the song, and I was like, this isn't the song. And it just is. It's the song. No one knows the lyrics. And when I brought it up with Mark, I was like, dude, I don't know.

I didn't know any of those words. No one does. That's why we sing that song with you people. That is great. But we get off stage hey little thing let me light your candle because mama i'm sure heart to handle now gets around no one you would not think that's what the words are because mama i'm so hard to handle now gets around that doesn't even make any sense but what is that gets around i don't know but so we it's funny that songs

are just gibberish yeah I remember I think it was I want it that way the Backstreet Boys were like we have no idea what that song's about if you really think about it

what do they want it that way I don't know some pedophile wrote it gave it to us it's all about like it's like a sad relationship right and then he says

I want it that way you are my fire my one design those are good things but but and i think this the lyrics are like they're they're bad and then it's like hang on it's very i remember listening to it just recently being like yeah i want it that way but we are two worlds apart so i guess it's like i want to be with you yeah but the song is all about like how we're not i don't know but anyway uh so you're singing you're singing black crows so and then like we all kind of get off it's the last one and i everyone's kind of hanging out

so you're taking pictures stuff like that and we get off stage and um matt boldy who if you follow hockey just a stud absolute stud is um he's like we're talking we're talking with him and like he's he's 21 and like in hockey you don't get like a big deal at 21 21 just sound like a 60 million dollar deal like he's a great kid i didn't interact with him a ton but minnesota you got a good one seems like a really nice kid yeah and so he's we're just kind of talking and and he's like, we boys getting into tonight. And we're like, I don't know, probably head to a bar, grab a drink.

And you know that fights in chief both put on the hockey talk. I don't know, boys. We're probably going to hit a couple. Hit a couple. Go wheel a couple broads. Hit my ranch before I go to bed tonight. And I'm like, I don't know. He's going to grab a beer or two, something like that.

And he's like, oh, you guys got to come out. We're don't know. He's like, I've got a beer or two, something like that. And he's like, oh, you guys got to come out. And we're going to go. He's like, we're going to Cowboy Jack's. Oh, that's where we did the. Yeah, I was like, oh, I know it well. Like, we did series there for a while. He's like, you guys got to come. You guys should come.

I'm like, yeah, we'll fucking come. He's like, yeah, definitely. Probably be a bunch of guys my age, but you'll have fun too. And it was like a cannonball of a gun. I was like, oh my God. But you'll have fun too. Probably be mostly guys my age, but you'll have a good time. I was like, what?

Okay, so this is where your question comes in. In my head, I'm – You're not passing 21. No, not 21. And I'm not saying this like I think I wish I looked better. I think I have like a childish appearance. I would have said I was 26 passing. No.

You're too old for 26. Really? Yes. 26 is a baby. I guess you're 28. 28. 28. 28 is a reasonable thing.

But it really is funny because you fluctuate, you know, like 53. But also, you know, like 20, 27. Yeah. Now, those are a couple years apart. But, like, for the most part, it's just about how you clean up. But 26, you know what? Maybe I'm thinking to myself. Like I could never pass for 26.

But you have a few years younger than me. So maybe you could do 26. No? If you were to tell me 26, I wouldn't be like, that's not a 26-year-old man. Like I would buy it. But I would guess for you 28. There? I'd probably like 24.

Oh, he's a baby there, yeah. But that's so that is like you're almost 26 there. And that was a lifetime ago, bro. That was a lifetime ago, dude. like maybe multiple lifetimes ago you know what it is weird with guys like like if a girl says like hi i'm 26 and she's not you could be like that bitch is not 26 but guys are kind of like like i also know guys who are my age. It's all about your lifestyle, you know? Like, if I were to, like, wear khaki shorts with a polo and tuck it in and put on a golf hat and wear loafers, people would be like, you're fucking 40. Right. But I'm at the live show and somebody was like, oh, I thought you were 29.

I'm like, oh. But it's just because I dress like an asshole and talk like an asshole. You know, I don't live that life. But if you do – so for guys, like if you were to be out with a bunch of young guys, like they wouldn't – I think what he said would not – they wouldn't be like, oh, check it out. It's all like these young hockey players and then like they're chaperones. I think they'd be like, that's one of the boys. It's actually really – I think it comes down to hair. I think if you got hair, you can pass for younger.

It's and hair. Don't lie. You know what I mean? If you're balding, people like that guy's old. If you're not, it's like it could range from, you know, whatever to whatever. But if you got hair, I think particularly in the front, like if you have a strong hairline in the front, you can pass for younger. It was 26. Might be a little. The first if you have a strong hairline in the front, you can pass for younger. It was...

26 might be a little... The first time... I think you're gassing him up a little bit too much. The first time I've ever been like, oh, my. That hurts. But then Chief and I were like, we're fucking going. And we didn't go together. So Chief and I walked there.

It's probably like a half mile from the Armory, the venue. So we walk, get a little fresh air, get a little relaxed. Recover. We just sang a chorus on stage. We're pretty tired. And we're like, we'll meet you there. And so we walk there, and we get there, and it's the biggest line I've ever seen.

First of all, they're still flying the Barstool flag out front. So off the front is the Barstool flag. And the line is a three-hour line. And I was like,'re still flying the Barstool flag out front. So off the front is the Barstool flag. And the line is – Around the corner. It must have been a three-hour line. Yeah. And I was like, that's a line for 21-year-olds. And then we were like, we're just going back to the hotel.

And we went back to the hotel, but we walked by the line to get back to the hotel. And I was like, everyone in that line is 12 years old. Everyone in that line is a child. 21 and 22, like the young is is like you look like babies. It was crazy. Who's the guy who's 26 right now in the office? Who is that age? Jake Bass is 27, I think.

Jake Bass looks 60. I was going to say Jake Bass looks – that's not – John Rich is 28, 27. I think John Rich looks 50. You do have a little... You know what it is? Blonde helps. Blonde looks younger.

So when you're having your blonder hair... John Rich is also from the Midwest. Jake Bass doesn't have hair. Yeah, Jake Bass looks like a fucking Heisenberg. You know what I mean? He's scary. Greer looks 100. Greer grew up in the woods in Canada.

Who's somewhere from our city? I need a northeastern person. What's the difference between him and how much? What can I pass for? I don't want to play this game. I could not even care less, so whatever.

If John can pass for 26, what do I pass for? 30. You bitch. not even care less so whatever if john can pass for 26 what do i pass for 30 you bitch you dumb fucking bitch you inconsiderate but i said i said 28 for him first but then i said if he were to tell me he's 26 it's hard right now because he's sitting like a 56-year-old lady. That's always Feidelberg's jam. All old men eventually cross their legs. John crosses his legs at like 19. They used to make fun of me when I was

21. It is weird. I still don't know how you do it. I do not know where you put your dick and balls when you do this. All underneath? Oh, it's all fucking. Your dick is tucked. Buffalo build, baby. No.

My dick is on this couch right now. No. Yes. I think the only way. I get home after a long session, my dick's purple. No blood flow. All my pee breaks are just to get fucking blood back in my dick. I think the only way I can do this is I go up and down.

And the balls, you know, right? I mean, you definitely can't go all up. Did you see the latest clip from Stavi's World? Stavi's ball bag is just – No. And they put the captions over it, I think, to try to salvage it. It's magnificent. It's majestic.

You know, everything about Stavi is kind of like – But, wow, it's like – it is just a bag. It is very funny. Just a big set of greek nuts uh i i don't know how you've done it you've always sat like that i i always you know what was bad i always did the figure four but i it like hurts now i'm like so old i can't even sit like that like my knee gets like you know what i mean it's's like... You got torn labrum in it probably. Probably. So I can't even pass for 20s anymore?

I can say 29. I don't know, dude. I don't know. Yes. How old do you think I can pass for? You're young. I was going to say 20, 29. Oh, you kiss off.

That's the right answer. That's a girl who, you know, she sees what's really going on. She knows who controls the AC here. But the other night in Minneapolis. This is the goods right here. This is a monster. This is going to be a four-hour episode.

This was... So we go to the VIP thing. There are... This is the goods right here This is a monster This is gonna be a four hour episode This Was So we go to the VIP thing There are We're walking home She's like We should open a bar in Minneapolis Cause there are like four bars That's why the lines are so goddamn long

Getting into all We were walking home We couldn't find another bar It was actually It was scary being in Minneapolis Cause there's so few people That It's like

Like what they say Like when you live in the suburbs Where every sound is really loud Kind of deal It was similar to that where like you'd hear like a drunk person you get like scared whereas like new york everyone's shitfaced because like it's everyone's loud and boisterous and shitfaced it's not like i'd hear like pitter pattering like someone running like a drunk person running through like a sidewalk or an alley what the fuck is that yeah it was very yeah it's almost like uh yeah like the quiet is actually the scariest thing in scary movies yeah right then you hear like

the uh as we were walking home and he's like we should go to a bar and we couldn't find one because the only other bar available was the bar we went to the night prior which was um oh that was at a bar yeah so we were we looked up by we, I mean I, was like, what's a bar right here? Name of the bar, Gay 90s. Gay 90s. Gay 90s. Right up. Yeah.

Right up. Your alley, my alley. You want to hit Gay 90s? He's like, yeah, let's hit Gay 90s. I will fucking Gay 90s my dick off. So the chief kept calling it Big Gay 90s, which for some reason I thought was hilarious. Big Gay 90s. Big Gay 90s, which is the first reason I thought it was there. Big Gay 90s. BGN.

And we get there. Got to pat you down. Heavy security at Big Gay 90s. Like, I don't know if it stems from, like, Orlando kind of deal. Like, bulletproof vests and all kinds of stuff. No way. Yeah. And pay the cover, get in the door.

Right away. You want to go to the extra door? The what? Like, extra door. Do you want the extra show? Hell yeah. And we were like, yeah. Like, it's $7 more per person. We're in.

Chief Venmo's them. That's wacky, though. They're like... Was the cover Venmo? The cover I paid cash, but I think you could have Venmo'd. Cool. And then get in. I had the money on me.

Pay. Get in. Chief Venmo's arrest. And they're like, before we even get – it's like behind the curtain. Before we even let you behind the curtain, I want to show you three rules. Number one is consent. Always thumbs up or thumbs down. That's it.

Just give it to them. Wait. Just back up real quick. When you first walk in, it's a bar? Actually, this room is before the bar. Okay, but what you guys were walking into, did you expect a bar with stools and high-top tables and then a couple lounges?

I expected to be more loungy. Okay, yeah. And so you walk in, bar's that way. So you couldn't even go – you had to make a choice to either go regular or hardcore right away. You couldn't go through the regular to get to the hardcore. No. Got it. Who turns it down?

I can't imagine. You want to be a pussy or you want to be cool? When I left, I walked through the regular bar, and that was pretty empty. This place was jamming. I don't think many people hit the regular bar and that was pretty empty this place was jamming i don't think many people hit the regular bar and this woman larger girl midwestern lady tits out like she had like a nips like naked or she had like a mesh shirt over it but it was it was tits out and she's like you want the extra show i guess with the extra show because we have three rules.

Consent. If someone comes up to you, starts touching you, whatever, just thumbs up, thumbs down. Good rule. No phones. It's like, we're not going to take them from you, keep them, but if you see it in your hand, you're getting kicked out. Okay.

And third rule is have fun. All right, that sounds good. Very happy and all that stuff. And third rules have fun. All right. That sounds good. Very like happy and like all that stuff. Yeah. Walk in the thing right away. Just a cage full of people. And then there's a sign which is pleasure alley. And it's just like,

like cat, like couches, like at a club. And it's just dudes sitting there eating pussy. Like the, like the girls are riding their face. Are they on a stage? No, no.

It's just you just walk into a room at everyone's house. It was an orgy. On the floor, they're eating pussy? No, he's on like a couch. One of those club couches where it's kind of a bench with like fucking felt on it. And then she's up here? She's up here. She's holding the shoulders.

Got it. There are like three separate people this is happening to are you saying literally like like i think they had underwear on but like when they would ride back you'd see his tongue out and they got naked as the night went on too and i thought i was there a ton but the not that i stayed there until the sun came up. But not that I'm now a VIP customer. Part owner. So we go to the bar. Then there's a main stage and there's this woman. By the way, everyone.

It's like being at a football game where everyone's in jerseys, but they're not jerseys. They're sec media. It's called BDSM show. BDSM live show. Everyone's in BDSM gear I'm in a Crocheted knit polo Tucked in

Chief is in a button down I don't think it was tucked in Kind of like a Tommy Bahama type button down We could not look more like cops Bro I'm saying everyone else Like 100% Maybe 99% Is in leather, latex, like full nun latex with like the gas masks. Like it was –

Nun latex with the gas mask. That's beyond – that's like horror movie shit. Forget about weird sex stuff. We're now entering my nightmare. It was intense. It was very, very intense. And then there is also a stage where they're introducing people. And they kind of come on stage.

They do like a twirl, almost like a pageant. And then they come out down the row, and then they go and get back in line. And I think they're introducing who the acts are going to be that night. Yeah. And then we kind of catch the tail end of that and the woman who's introducing everyone is hot she's she ain't always the way it's not like the performers it's always like the the maitre d or whoever yeah can you get naked yeah that girl's she was very latexed up but she was in clothing everyone else is very midwest. And all of these people are like, don't you know,

sort of thing. Like, we didn't have many conversations, but yeah, yeah. I would imagine so. Right. They're all,

in my whole time in Minnesota, I saw like four vegetables and everyone looked the part. Like, well, at one dinner, there were no vegetables on my dish. So I was like, can I get the side,

a side of vegetables? They were like, sure. It was maple soaked Brussels sprouts. It was maple-soaked Brussels sprouts. It was just on the menu as seasonal vegetables. Maple-soaked Brussels sprouts. That's great. And everyone looks at the part.

Like, everyone's got, you know, everyone looks at the part. And they start to put on this show where it is like, it's not, it's just like it was basically an open mic night for sex workers where like these people aren't pros. They're just in it for love of the game. Like they are – like get your dollar bills ready and someone will dance and like maybe $2 on stage. It was not a lot of money was exchanged. I'm so happy I'm not there. I would have just been giving them like hundreds of dollars. I had no more cash. I would have taken them home with me. I was like, I'll just adopt you. I'm so happy I'm not there. I would have just been giving them like hundreds of dollars. I had no more cash.

I would have taken them home with me. I was like, I'll just adopt you. I'm sorry. There was one woman who was, I'm going to say they. I'm just going to guess that they're they now.

Because they were eight feet tall, Kevin. Oh oh my limber is all hell but like they were like kicking their legs up and it was fucking like knocking lights out of the ceiling and they take off their top and i'm like i'm fucking still not sure what's going on here and then they're doing splits on stage and doing like humping the stage kind of deal in a thong. And just a curious cat. I was like, I'll be right back. And I had to go get a closer look to see, like, I just wanted to see what I was watching. You know what I mean?

Like, I just wanted to know. You know, like, is there a dick there or not? What am I looking at here? Like, I was like, they're a split position. This a good time i'm gonna see a ball let's get a pee right now either this or on stabby's instagram page and and i i get i start walking forward and i look to see if chief's coming with me and i see the back of his head he's fucking split and i was like we're one song i can't leave yet so now i'm solo but there are like a bunch of lounge chairs around the same goodbye nothing i texted after i was like lmao did you leave? And he goes, yeah, someone cut in front of me who I didn't really want to bump into.

And I just took that as a sign. But so now I'm in the, like, there's only one walkway to the stage. And I'm just trying to see some dick or whatever. And I'm just like I'm in that Like No Literally no man's land There's like a ton of people Like in the standing room

And they were like Kind of like lounge chairs Like you'd see in a jazz club All set up in front of the stage And as I was walking up I was like I was like No one's sitting in the front

Like I'll just go Sit up there Like And This man Upgraded his seats At the gay midwest sex club And so Wow I get there And I still Honestly I can upgraded his seats at the gay Midwest sex club.

Wow. I get there and I still honestly, as I sit here, I don't know what they were. Yeah. But I look back and I see Chief's gone so my spot has been filled in. Any standing room, immediately filled in. And I look at the chairs

and they say reserved. And so now I'm just stuck. And I just kind of stand there like, I don't know where to go here. And there's a stage in front of you? There's a stage in front of me where they're dancing their ass off. Right. And I'm just still stuck. They get off.

They leave. And I'm frozen in panic. I'm like, I don't know what to do. I don't want to make a big thing because there's a show going on. The next woman's already started. Yeah. The next woman started. Oh, God.

This woman was huge. She was huge. She was. If you told me she didn't make it to the weekend, I'd believe you. And I mean, just. How big? Give me like a guy, a guy size. Dugs?

Dugs at Frank's height? It was, it was, it was, it was, she's a big lady. She's a big lady. And she's dancing? She's doing her best. She's moving while music is on. The other, like she, they did her no, They did her no favors in the lineup. The first one was limber as hell.

Skinny. She moved like a dancer. They moved like a dancer. The next guy's dick was huge. So I'm still standing here while I'm just watching this guy eat a pussy. There's a cage with a woman's in that she's riding face. There's another cage right next to that cage that a dude is at BDSM, like the nipple gear, just doing pull-ups. Just fucking getting a quick set in, dude.

And I'm just like, I don't know what to do. And so I just stand there for the performance. I'm just kind of standing there. Stand. You don't sit. I sit reserved on him. I should have sat until someone came because no one came. But I was just standing there like a deer in headlights like, uh.

I'm kidding. So I'm this far from this woman. Get the fuck out. And she's not mic'd up or anything so no one else can hear. But it's like someone's chewing with their mouth open right in my ear. You know what I mean? I'm just hearing flaps and just stuff that's not privy to everybody.

And she starts stripping. And they pulled the couch out for her. So it's a strip show that's happening on a couch. Again, and we're here.'s like sitting and she's like sitting like things with her legs yeah okay because she can't even stand up right and the other one the other person stripped i am picturing ursula from the little she was it wasn't quite purple but it was like a dark blue uh thong and uh like a latex corset. And so she's, like, starting to strip. And I don't know if I've ever been as sad as I was for this.

Because, like, she's in high-heel latex boots, like those big, like, tie-ups all the way. And she's, like, sexy doing her thing. And the crowd's going crazy to the point where it's like you're mocking it's come on guys like do you give it like the fucking hot dude up here just didn't get anything i know what you mean but she's probably like let's go baby yeah yeah i mean like right like it's probably me thinking it and she's probably like she knows it on some level but it's like who cares why it was happening you know it was a lot money money no one guy walked up and like put down

some cash okay um he was in a mesh shirt and boy shorts and like eight feet tall they're big in minnesota and uh and but she starts untying her shoes and she's doing great and and then you ever get like you're really hungover or just fat and you don't really untie your shoes. You kind of just fucking paw at the knot until it comes undone. You know what I mean? Like you're kind of on the – Jackie does not know what I mean. But you're kind of just like – So like a cat with a ball of yarn, she's just whacking at the knot.

Like she can't get her shoes off. And I'm like, oh, do I go and tie them for her? Because, like, again, the people can't hear her going, hmm. Yeah, yeah. And she finally, she gets, like, one off. And, like, you know, when you do the push. Yeah, yeah.

I feel like, like, I honestly love this woman She's great It was fucking funny man She was taking them off as part of her show Cause she had to strip dude Gotta get your shoes off before you can strip You could leave the heels on no? You could've Probably on the night too

And then she gets them off Cause then you gotta unlace leave the heels on no yeah you could have should have probably on the night too the shoes got left on yeah and then she gets them off and because then you gotta unlace so she's like oh yeah but by the way we're four songs in this book and and she gets the latex off and and then she just starts licking the boots and she's sucking the fucking stiletto. And the place is going nuts the whole time. I'm the only one who can hear the effort that's going in. Everyone else is like, woo! And four more songs later, she finally worked her way up to the titties,

which with a person of this stature, that's the big reveal. That's what we're all here for. That's like old biddies. Dinner plate nipples. Dinner plate nipples. And she's got the corset, and she's doing the big tease, and this and that. She's turning back, and we're all waiting with bated breath. And we're like, it's about to fucking pop out.

And then, I'm like, this is our big moment. And it slips out of her hand hand and just one titty drops. And, like, lands in her lap, man. It was awesome. It was the best sex show I've ever been to. It was incredible. I said to him, on a scale of one to Amsterdam, where is it? He goes, oh, it was a negative five. That's why it was the best.

And then I said, Chief, and I looked like cops. There was one other guy there who was just in like a Hurley t-shirt. Hell yeah. Just looked like Stu. I thought it was Stu. Like this short, stocky, older dude. Yeah. Just holding hands.

He was in like khaki shorts, Hurley t-shirt, fucking Osiris shoes, and just holding hands with this fucking woman who was towering over him. And she was in, like, a pink, like, latex corset with, like, the pony mask on. You know what I mean? Like, and they were just holding hands. And I was like, I think that marriage is in couples counseling. And they were like well maybe if you tried what she likes like it would go things could help and that guy who's got he's like here we go fine but i'm not putting on a fucking costume it was awesome gay 90s i i

think it's i think they call it kinky fridays we're going there in november yeah and why are we there on friday i think we are if we're there on friday night we're going to in November. If I was there on Friday night? I think we are. If we're there on Friday night, we're going to Kinky Friday, so everyone get ready. Now, if you go back, will you dress the part,

or will you go wearing regular? We are going there on Friday night. Our show's on Friday. Yeah. So this was after the VIP event, so this is probably 10.30. So our show will be over in minneapolis by 10 30 so we can all go to kinky friday afterwards that big gay 90s it was and yes i will address the part for this obviously i'm not gonna go yeah that's fine if i was like no you're going free will you're

allowed to choose at this point it is it is it's a but oh but again like all these things like it was g chief was funny where because he kept being like you could tell there was a bit of a disconnect i think between you and him yeah like you're a pervert and like down for weird shit he was kind of like uh no fucking thing like when people were dancing on stage because earlier in the night we had been talking about like the podcast and stuff like that and i somehow like being left alone at 4. Oh, he was watching his nephews and nieces. And they were 9. And I was like, very good.

What are you talking about? You're watching your nephews and nieces. And he was like, while they're parading on stage. These are the people who got left home alone when they were 4. And I was like, it's not just the people on stage. It's everyone here. Don't say it like that. It's this person right here and that person right there.

These people who are not on stage just don't have the courage yet. Next week they'll be on stage. They're just dipping their toe in the water. Yeah, listen. I mean, we talked a little bit about it with Segura last week. Also, you just told the story two weeks ago. You were left home alone. No, no, I know.

That's why he was saying it because i had said that but we you know even just talking to tom where it's like we're kind of like institutionalized at this point you know yeah like we just have gone we've crossed over into this other world you know and and the people who perform and shit go like all the way but it's just like normal versus not normal right you know and i'd like if they had tried to put me on stage i would have performed in a heartbeat in a heartbeat because it was welcome, like they say about all these things. It was because everyone is the fucking child left behind. Would you have just dumped your dick against the stage?

Oh, I just stripped. And we talked about this last week. What would you have done? You would have worked the pole? No, I would have thrown all the cash at everybody, but there wasn't any cash to throw. Just throw nickels at the crowd. It's just funny. Chief was looking for a pint at a pub.

And you're online probably being like, oh, man, I hope they don't go ass to mouth with my stiletto again. He probably has no experience with that. And you're like, man, I wish Kevin Connolly was here to catch a flying dildo. I don't know. That is – that's special. That's an all-timer. It was awesome.

That's an all-timer right there. We're definitely going. I put that on the list. Big A90s. Friday night. When is the show? It's November 17th. Friday, November 17th.

Call me KFC Radio. When's our show? Saturday or Friday? Friday.th. Friday, November 17th. We come to KFC Radio. When's our show? Saturday or Friday? Friday. Friday. So we'll do KFC Radio live Friday, November 17th in Minneapolis. And then we will all as a group go to Big Gay 90s. That is honestly the greatest plan ever.

Yeah. How big is our show? Can that place accommodate like 200 people? No. You got to get there fast. Okay. So fast. As soon as the show ends, get to Gay 90s because it is.

We're going to have, could you imagine like, let's say, I don't know, the first like 50 get in. And then there's like 350 people like, ah, outside of Big Gay 90s. Like, fuck. Wearing latex and shit. Speaking of your tickets, tomorrow night, tonight as you, wait, what's today? This will be aired on Wednesday. So tonight we have Dollar Slices, which is sold out. I think there's maybe like one ticket or something like that left.

I don't know. No, it's not sold out. It's sold out. And then tomorrow night, Thursday night, Jersey City, we're coming. Jersey's been asking us to come. So come out, show out. There's still tickets available for the White Eagle Hall in Jersey City. KC Radio live on stage. Even if you've come to our shows in Carolines and in New York and the local area,

I feel like there's probably a bunch of people who have come to see us a few years ago, and now they're like, I have seen KC Radio live. I need to do it. It's an entirely different experience, I promise you that. The show has gotten so much better. And so even if you've seen us live before and it was a few years ago, come back out again. We're going to put on a show for our hometown people here in New York and New Jersey. And so even if you've seen us live before and it was a few years ago, come back out again. We're going to put on a show for our hometown people here in New York and New Jersey.

So that's Thursday night. Go to the KFC Radio social handles. Or if you're on YouTube, you can click the link. Tickets are still available for the White Eagle Hall. Doors are at 7, nice and early on a Thursday. So you can get it in before you head off for the weekend to your summer house or whatever. So come see us. Dollar Slice is sold out, but I think we're putting together another show

which is going to be the new kind of like Barstool Comedy flagship stand-up roaming show if you will. So we'll announce that whenever that next one is, we'll keep you guys posted on that. But a lot of live show stuff with a lot of the different brands here at Barstool Comedy

to come. Right now, get your tickets to KFC Radio Live at Jersey City Thursday, 7 o'clock, White Eagle Hall. Be there. We're going to get loose. It's going to be a good time. Meet and greet afterwards. We'll take pictures and hang out. Come through and see us. Lucy nicotine gum,

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Like, it was genuine laughter, but at one point I was like, I gotta tone it down. Like, I'm the host of the show. It's probably going to be annoying. He had me fucking dying. He was awesome. Divine is the man.

So we'll get into our interview with that. First, we got to do some One Minute Man, though. We got to tackle some topics because there is one thing real quick, too, before One Minute Man. I obviously got delayed whatever it happens i don't have a bunch about that but the i threw a flight attendant for a loop like i don't think they've ever seen before i got some thoughts on that too but okay keep going now we'd already we got like de-planet we boarded and then de-planet and the flight attendant was, like, reading us the dinner menu on the plane, and she had one of the craziest requests that I've ever had where,

I mean, she acknowledged it. She was like, read the dinner menu, said all the drinks, all that stuff, and then I was like, and then I have one more request. It's unorthodox, but please don't take any pictures or videos of me and i've never wanted to take a picture like if there's one way to make that not happen i wanted to take a picture and post it and be like if this is your wife who ran away here she is i want to send this to america's most wanted is this db cooper i don't know what's going on here. But then so we're taxiing.

We're all stuff. When I get in my seat, I get pretty comfy pretty quick. I get my snacks set up. I get my mangoes. And I get my dark chocolate. By the way, I feel like I'm always on the forefront of a new up and coming candy. Sanders dark chocolate caramels with sea salt. Whoa, boy.

Anything sea salt caramel caramel your boy is in it is delicious stuff um but so i got my sea salts i got my mangoes i got my headphones in scrolling my movies i find jerry and marge go large which is a movie i hadn't even heard of it stars brian cranston and annette bedding and rainn Wilson is in it. It's a true story about this couple in a rural town in Michigan who work up a scheme or some kind of scam to win the Massachusetts lottery. And then their plan is to take all that money and come back and save their small town. Okay. Again, true story.

I don't know. I was excited to watch it. It looks fun. It looks good. It's funny. It's got like 80% Rotten Tomatoes. I don't know. I was excited to watch it. Looks fun. Looks good. Funny. It's got like 80% raw tomatoes. I'm in. Yeah.

So got my headphones in. Got my candy. Got my mangoes. I'm comfy. I hit play on the movie. I'm like a minute in. We got a D plane. She comes around.

We're going to D plane. That's okay. I'm all set. Thanks. She was like. I'm good. No. I'll all set. Thanks. She was like, I'm good. No, I'll stay on the plane. She was like, what? No, that's not it.

I'm good. Thanks. I was like, oh, no, no. It's okay. Sir, the building's on fire. Evacuate. She walks back to the phone. She goes, in case there's any confusion, you have to get off the plane I was like

I got up and left but I was gassed up man I was ready for the movie I do know that feeling I've told you this before when we travel my favorite part is the plane where I'm just like cozy and I'm just like I got my spot I got the movie I got my snacks ready you totally like you blue balled me

I still haven't seen that fucking movie i want to watch that goddamn movie oh no that's okay i'm good you should start doing shit like that just in general you know like any circumstances where it just doesn't apply no i'm I'm good. You have to, sir. Grab the phone. You have to get off the plane. In case there's any confusion, you have to get off. I'll just wait for you guys to come back.

That's good. Eventually. We're going to leave eventually. Dude, I'm telling you. Got my tinfoil hat on. I would imagine. I think the only rational explanation has to be aliens but something's going on with the airline industry they i i don't know what it is like i mean there

was weather right there was bad weather there i've can go to and from New York, all across the country. Everything. Is it just weather everywhere? Well, now... I mean, like 7,600 flights were canceled in a day or something like that. Delayed, 2,000 flights canceled, and it's been going on for like a month it but right when the government told us that there are aircrafts from out of this world i don't even know how it would connect but something's going on you don't just have every single flight delayed or canceled for like three weeks straight and it

just happens to be weather every time now if i could rebut with my being no you may not anti uh uh tinfoil hat guy wouldn't you say about a month ago is when we started going man the weather this summer sucks yeah but but every time i've heard weather, there hasn't been weather. Well, that's what I thought, too, because I was talking to people back home, and they were like, no, it's beautiful. But then I saw cons posting from West Point that it's legendary flooding. We have to watch that. Well, maybe that's from the aliens.

And there's also been a lot of smoke. Because I ended up getting very lucky. We's another thing. We haven't seen any pictures of these wildfires, right? Somebody was saying that today. I've never seen pictures of them. You've never seen pictures of wildfires from recently? None of them. There's no fire. I'm just checking. I'm sure there are.

But how would you even know? How would you even know? You just show me any trees burning. Oh, there's pictures. There's some pretty big fires. Those are my favorite tweets. We haven't even seen pictures. Just Google Canadian wildfires. Here they are.

Here they are. There's some pretty big pictures of Canadian wildfires. Bro, I saw a clip of Christopher Nolan talking about Oppenheimer, and he said the whole thing. Bro. Big fire. It's like the country has – Bro. Big fire. It's like – Like the country has a big-ass fire.

I'm telling you, has there ever been more of a time to at least experiment with doming than now? Yeah. Like at least try it, guys. In the amount of time – when we came up with doming all those years ago, by now you could have constructed and manufactured gigantic domes. We could have dropped it on these and saved a lot of headache. Oppenheimer, Christopher Nolan said, like, you know, the whole story is about the Manhattan Project and the atomic bomb,

but he just recently learned, like, the singular story that he built it on is that there was a time when they first were testing it in New Mexico, like the first, like, atomic explosion. They were like, 50-50,50, it's either going to work or we're going to light the entire atmosphere of the Earth on fire and everyone's going to die. And they still push the button. That's fucking crazy.

Yeah. That is fucking crazy. That's in the... And I know it was part of like, you know, it was like, well, if we don't do it and don't figure it out, then they're going to figure it out and they'll use it against us. And like, so there was kind of like no other choice. But if you're Oppenheimer or the lead scientist or whoever the fuck it is and it's your call and you're like, that's fucking crazy.

Just do it fast. It's no crazier than sending a risky text. So now if you tap it, It doesn't actually send Oh did it work Fucking bananas No I'm good I'm going to send the plane Spectacular man

Speaking of Barbie and Oppenheimer Out of Order is out Greatest week of entertainment in American history Was it November 19th Barbie Oppenheimer Out of Order July 19th? Barbie, Oppenheimer, Out of Order. July. July 19th. Yeah. It is a big one.

Yeah. It's a doozy. Pavs has seen them, or at least seen some of them. Yeah, I've seen 75% or I've edited 75% of it. Where do you put it up against Winchester, Swastikas, and the like? I don't think that there's any that are shocking like that but i think they're all it's the best one by far i think i think it's i think it's gonna be one of those shows where every week we go like this is the best one this is the best one we rented a

recording space a studio for this one and we have three sets and we did them all in a day and bro it's that was like so cool it's a real fucking like operation you know yeah like a set and the design yeah none of these are all done on set right everything's on a set this one yeah they're in i don't know if i've laughed harder than i did that day really they are and the two things that came from it that i think that i couldn't stop laughing about the entire vacation was weren't written weren't planned they just kind of happened and i just haven't stopped laughing in my head i mean it's that shit is so the bar is very high to already in the in the record again i haven't seen them past seen them if i'm judging by recording this is by far our best episode wow holy shit i mean that is

crazy that's why it's so nuts that you guys had so much chemistry right away because these are not your best episodes your best episodes will come probably like season like two or three yeah when you really hit your stride so if this is you guys still technically figuring out the kinks and scheduling and like workflow and all that so it's gonna get like probably much better from here on out that's pretty crazy i hope so i hope so right i mean like it's different than a regular show it's not like a tv show but usually it takes a couple seasons to get going so the fact that like you might just be like these are the episodes you're gonna look back on and be like those were funny, but now we're really funny. That's fucking crazy.

So get ready for that. Out of order. That Wednesday, November 19th. Why did I say November? July 19th. July 19th. And I think I'm doing the Up and On with Barbie double feature, by the way. I am down to do that, by the way.

I talked about doing the same thing. Barbie is throwing me for a loop i thought barbie first of all could you imagine if all this barbie fanfare was with amy schumer yeah like it just would never have fit um all of the stuff they can i was down like at first i was like i just thought it was a stupid like barbie movie then i hear that it's kind of like ironic and kind of like a commentary on things and so i'm like like, oh, okay, that can get pretty clever and smart. But the stuff I've seen that they released from it, I think I'm going to fucking hate that movie.

Oh, I was very unsure. I was the same thing with the trailers I'd seen. I was like, I don't know what this is. I'm excited. I'm going to see it. I've heard – I think I read like a quote from like an anonymous Hollywood hot shot. This was before it was ever made. Yeah, they were like, it's going to be the best movie of all time i will bet my career yeah like i read that i was like what yeah because at this point i thought it was like uh like almost like a kid's

movie like i don't know it's the barbie feature or whatever do you see the gosling thing then i i think i think ryan gosling's like the funniest person alive i think that that ken when he's on that ken song i was like i don't want any of this. I actually haven't seen that yet. Is the movie, is it a musical? I don't think so. I think there are. He has a musical number, and I was like, I don't want this at all. I haven't seen that.

I bet I'm going to love it, though. But the clip of him talking about how his job is beach, he is so God. Have you not seen this clip? No, I don't think so. Maybe I could be skewed because I think Gosling is, again like i want to stress i think he is so fucking funny the clip of him talking about like what ken is this is like as as himself like in an interview no no no no this is yeah because that well that's what the song is i'm just ken Ken. And it's like, I'm not. It's always Barbie and Ken. The. You have that at the ready, bro.

I pulled it up last night. Not even broken. You'll be fine. Shredding waves is much more dangerous than people realize. You're very brave. Thank you, Barbie. Yeah. No, such was not a good job.

I know. And it is not lifeguard, which is a common misconception. Very common. It's actually my job. It's just beach. Right. And what a good job you do at beach. You should heal up in no time.

Actually, in the time that it takes you to say that sentence, you healed. Fantastic. Can I come to your house tonight? Sure. You know, I have a big plan. Just a giant blowout party with all the Barbies and playing choreography and at the spokesman. You should stop by. so my thing is like if it's that for like two hours that would drive me crazy yeah where it's like i get it we're you know we're like mocking this or whatever you know so i just don't get how it but i mean when when i saw that guy be like i've read the script and it's like this is the best script i've ever written uh read in my life it's like this is gonna be crazy i actually think uh oppenheimer has has uh, you know, weird way.

Like Oppenheimer has like, obviously the most hype in the world, but because it's become this like Barbie versus Oppenheimer thing, like I haven't just thought about what the actual movie is about, you know? Yeah. And like when I saw that clip of them talking about it, I was like,

Oh, like this movie is so up my alley. I'm going to fucking love this. But I haven't been thinking about like the content of the movie because it's just been so much fanfare about the movie tom cruise with the imax versus barbie and and it's like oh like no it's just this is one of the greatest stories like ever in human history and like they're telling it with the best actors and the best director no cgi it's crazy i mean there's blowing shit up out in the desert so i I'm like, oh, wait, this is – if any – there's like probably three people on the planet Earth who watched the show in Manhattan.

It was on WGN, which is like every now and then like on my grandma's old TV, I would catch Cubs games on WGN. It's like the antenna would like pick up the fucking signal from Chicago somehow. But I don't know what channel that was on, but the only guy I can really... The dad from Pitch Perfect is Oppenheimer. I don't know if anybody remembers that reference. But it was like two seasons of it. It was awesome. It was just all about the Manhattan Project

and racing to get the atomic bomb. And it was some of the best shit I've ever seen. So the story itself is like fucking unbelievable. But I think it's almost people are like forgetting that. It's just like Christopher Nolan's making a big movie. But the movie, like the subject is fucking incredible. So you're going to go, what are you going to do first, Barbie or Oppenheimer?

I think it's Barbie then Oppenheimer. I think Barbie right into Oppenheimer. I think Barbie, right into Oppenheimer. They should, like, sell that. I think they said over 20,000 people have already done that. Like, if you're a movie theater, you should, like, be like, there's a seven and a nine and a nine. And, like, you know, like, a couple theaters should, like, do them exactly like that. So you could do it, you know. But watch Out of Order first.

Out of Order, Barbie, Oppenheimer. That's the move. Okay, there's a ton of shit that we missed. I felt like this was our longest break, and I missed you, John. Yeah? Yeah. I missed you too, Kevin. I missed you.

I missed you a lot. Don't like how in shape you are right now, and I'm sad to see you. You look so good, but I didn't. I didn't work out all week. Do I look different now than I did? No, you're a motherfucker. I don't work out all week. Do I look different now than I did? No, you're a motherfucker. I don't know. You look like a fucking rectangle.

But a tight one now. A tight one. It is so funny that we went to the same chiropractor and he said that I'm held together by tape and glue. And that John is a statue of stone. I was thinking about if I had to chiropractic you, if I had to do what a chiropractor does. Like when they do it to other people, to me, like I can like throw my leg over the side and they like push on your body so that it like bends both ways and breaks.

And I was like, I can't even imagine John twisting his hips. Like you are just literally made out of stone. Like I could imagine him being like, okay, relax. Relax your neck. I'm going to crack it. Relax. Relax your neck. And he's like, I am.

This is just it. You're just holding a boulder in your head, in your hand. And then he just moves it and nothing happens. It's very much the losing game. Did you get any cracks? Yeah. In the neck? Did you get a crack in the lower back?

No way. I think so. Yeah. very much did you get any cracks yeah and the neck did you get a crack in the lower back no way i think so yeah he definitely did something he did the thing where you let you swing your leg over no well i mean yes i think that's i think that's why they put like all their body weight on you like that yeah because i could imagine your your core just like not twisted just nope no he actually said he's like you're more limber than i thought you were oh wow which i think it just got set the bar so low yeah uh but he's like you actually have more mobility than I thought you were. Oh, wow. Which I think I just said the bar's so low. Yeah, yeah. But he's like, you actually have more mobility than I thought, but you have a torn hip.

Okay, so that the reason I said that is because there was a lot of shit from last week. We could go on for another two hours, but we're going to try to hit you with the main one-minute man stuff that we saw. Threads is out. Did you join Threads? I joined it. I haven't threaded anything. It was easy. I wasn't going to, and then I learned't like threaded anything. Um, I, I,

it was easy. I, I wasn't going to, and then I learned like you just hit like, except like a button. And I was like, okay, now how about this though? If you want it to,

you want to delete your threads account, you have to delete your Instagram account. So they got you, man. You ain't going anywhere. I mean, why would you want to delete it though? It's just like a,

if you don't want to just don't use it. But if you, I don't know if you just did want to delete it. It's like, no, you can't. Yeah. Um, I have quit Twitter, you know, leading up to this and was like, maybe threads will

be like what Twitter was, but without like the toxicity of it. And maybe I can get back into that. And, uh, I learned two things. One, I feel like you need the toxicity for these things to work. And two, I just, just don't like it anymore. You don't like? Like the act of tweeting or threading. Like I still read on Twitter, but I do not miss tweeting about things.

I had kind of the same thing. I had a few things typed out about Twitter was like when I did early morning Twitter club and irrational takes and hate at eight and all these things where it was like just fucking tweet like, I think if you use chopsticks, you're an asshole. And we'd fucking go for an hour about it. And I don't know if I've just done that too much or ran my course or if the people who like that that used to be funnier and then it became hate or whatever the reason i'm just like i don't want to do that i think that's what when people like you start i mean and i think you know everything's ever changing and stuff like that and how i i just got sick of people being like taking it too seriously and maybe they're not and i just don't know them and that's how they talk and when they're getting well

that i was like no you fucking weirdo like it's just joking i think the key to the internet is the right answer the internet works is when you take a non-serious topic seriously but not too seriously yeah it's like if i if i act like you know if you say mario you should fucking kill yourself but at the end of the day we're just like yeah we all understand we're just like arguing for fun but then people started to put too much political stuff into it, got too serious. It's not fun. So along comes threads. And I'm like, maybe this will just kind of be like pressing the reset button on Twitter.

And we can maybe start off fresh. And A, I just didn't want to do it. And B, like you can't do that because it's not organic enough. Like it's not – like when TikTok started, it was like, oh, I can do this lip syncing thing. There's music. It had its own stuff. Yeah. So it was new.

Threads is just Twitter with like people trying to make it work. It's just like brands and celebrities on there being like, oh, welcome to Threads. Like, you know, my favorite flavor of ice cream is chocolate. What about yours? It's particularly weird because we've talked about with someone recently how social media is obviously it went on for a while

where people were like, some interns are getting fired because they thought interns ran the fucking social media for billion dollar corporations. Now it's a job for just a regular person having social media where it's like it takes it's time consuming i'd actually argue that it's like it's it's not like people should get more money and it should be like one of your more 100 smarter but i and paid employees but because of that's how social media is used by celebrities and they kind of set culture like that's how regular people use

it too so like it becomes a job for just a regular person to have instagram or have tiktok like i'm editing videos all day just to like i don't know just to fucking talk to my friends and that's weird that at least it was like you'd had tiktok you have to edit and instagram you pictures you posted and then your twitter you tweeted but like now now what people just copy and pasting onto thread like your exact tweet that's insane and also like we oh oh oh we weren't talking about on air we're talking about it in here if i thought it was on air we're talking about with dan um and it's like that to keep up with all social media is is it's why i started doing this job so I didn't have to do that kind of thing. It feels like busy work.

It's busy work. Particularly once you start just copying and pasting or when you're like copying and pasting this to put it on your video. When I do One Minute Man, I film them on TikTok. I post it to TikTok with the thumbnail cover from TikTok and then have to cut and paste the URL from TikTok into the website to get rid of the TikTok watermark to post it to Instagram because if you post Instagrams with TikTok watermarks, it like suppresses it. In the process of cut and pasting the URL though, I can't cut and paste the caption so now i've got to rewrite the caption and make a new thumbnail because it's different from tiktok to instagram and while

none of that is you know it's not arduous it's not hard but it's that it's it's almost worse than hard work where it's like annoying little like especially tiktok you post it it takes you know it's like like taking a little bit to post Then you can't copy the link until it's under review. I guess right away they review it for like copyright issues and all that. So if I'm in a rush and I'm trying to do it, you got to wait like a few minutes and then I got to download it. It takes another couple minutes and then I got to make a new thumbnail and then copy. And it's just like in the end it took like 10 minutes just to post these things to two different sites. And again, like 10 minutes is not that long.

But you do that like every day and then do it a couple times a day. And all of a sudden it's like all I feel like I'm doing is like writing headlines and thumbnails and blah, blah, blah. And yeah, that shit sucks. The busy work is the problem. That's why like I don't do like – we're very thankful for game time and all that stuff. There are a lot of times I'm like I'm just not going to go to game time because you gotta do the I'll just buy the ticket

on game time because doing that like little video in public gives me anxiety and like I'll put it off until

three quarters of the way through the game so I won't even enjoy the first three quarters of the game because I'll keep thinking well maybe I'll just die and I won't do this

and then I finally fucking do it and then I'm like oh hey I enjoyed the last quarter of the game like I'd rather just buy it's just they're the little things about work that you don't usually have but like in this job yeah and then now we have them and it's like oh that's just like a little thing and threads just feels like it's a thing you have to do not want to do like twitter was just twitter to me is the internet like that's where i search for pictures that's where i find my news i don't even really use google i search for it on twitter

threads is not like that threads is like we're celebrities here to tweet yeah we're we're people on instagram ready to tweet versus like twitter is where you go for news twitter is where you go for you know like the the the quickest fastest reaction shit. It just does not feel like they – Yeah, I haven't opened threads. And I did, but you can't search – first of all, I have a timeline without following people. So I guess they're just giving me my Instagram followers, which is like – those are two different things to me.

That's independent George and relationship George colliding. I don't follow people on Instagram that I do on Twitter and vice versa you know i follow fucking weirdos on twitter i follow like pretty girls and funny people on instagram yeah that's two very different things so uh threat and and i don't know how this works because it is just the the app the essence of like tweeting is just like writing words on a timeline so I don't know how you like copyright that. But Elon Musk suing, it's like, yeah, I mean, you stole Twitter. Yeah. So I don't know what the rules are because, you know.

But then let me Facebook just stole MySpace. But a wall. Yeah. Photos, your friends. I mean, Zuckerberg does it. You know, he like when Snapchat became a thing, they added a Snapchat feature. Yeah. TikTok became a thing.

They added a TikTok feature. This feels like it's a whole different app. And I don't know if there are rules against it. But it's like, I don't know what legally you can say. But if we're being honest, you stole Twitter. So I don't know what you can prove in a court of law or whatever. But it's like, come on, man. You know what you did here.

But I don't think it's going to work as is. They need to let it be. When black Twitter would go off and you would sit there and read all the tweets that just is not happening on threads like the very fun viral moments of Twitter when something happens on TV

you're not like let me go run to threads if they get there maybe but I don't know I have no interest in it really as is this is also spurring the Zuckerberg elon thing apparently zuck just posted another picture he's working out with uh stylebender where he's just fucking jacked i don't know where this is gonna go for elon he's talking about having a literal dick measuring contest i can't i don't think i've ever hated the person but you know what's

funny the people who don't hate zuckerberg, like Zuckerberg is just like a shitty billionaire too. But I don't even hate, I don't hate Musk because he's a billionaire. I hate Musk because he's just so impossibly lit. Let's have a joke. Shut the, like, I hate both of them. Like if you have one of them and you're like, I'm rooting for this person, you're a fucking loser. Yeah. But the, like even like, I'll watch, sure, I'll watch the fight.

Don't get me wrong. But like, I don the fuck if you if you have a favorite billionaire you're a fucking dork totally to the utmost degree yeah yeah no absolutely that that's that's like the ultimate dick riding for like really no reason you know at least with like sports it's like i don't know you're doing something like really cool that i once did and I wish I could do. You brought me happiness. The tech career, you brought me nothing. Nothing, zero. But you know what is funny?

The same people who hate Elon Musk for political reasons and they make it a really serious combo. Zuckerberg's in front of Congress like 10 times a year talking about Facebook you know facebook being like illegal you know what i mean it's like if you if you have a problem then you got to really have a problem with both of them because they're both doing things that are like shitty yeah but it just seems like they both they both just they're both weirdo like there was a time back when america was a great country we fucking bullied nerds yeah we didn't cheer them on on the internet and suck their dicks in the replies we fucking bullied them we fucking stuffed them in lockers and we fucking gave them swirlies and we made fun of them for having glasses that was fucking america that was my

america we didn't fucking oh thank you lord elon fuck you we fucking hated when did this happen that like and then we allowed them to have this confidence like we're fighting the roman coliseum tiger should eat his fucking head off he elon must have to take his dick out for a dick measuring contest in a roman coliseum and much like maximus aurelius had to deal with uh tiger comes running out and just fucking sucks and bites his dick off. We need Mabba. Make America bully again. The sucking is important.

I want him to feel good for a second. I want him to think it's going to go well. And then, rock, fucking bites his dick right off. Yeah, these guys really are fucking losers. They're losers. And being a loser is fine as long as you don't act like a cool guy once you're a loser. Just because you get some money. At least, like, Zuckerberg is, like – there is a world where if Elon Musk was just like,

man, man, like, I am at the forefront of space exploration. That's pretty – that's a cool thing. You know what I mean? Like, you're, like, a smart dude who, like, figured out rockets and, like, you know, you're going to go to space and, like – but you just overplayed your hand so much. I'm a shit poser. You suck at it. You suck at it.

A meme lord or whatever they call him. Shut up. Yeah, you can't call yourself a meme lord. He's a fucking loser. Yeah. You were a smart guy. Being a smart guy is great. I'm not trying to shame that.

If he just was like – Being a smart guy is cool. I'm a brilliant dude and maybe I'm a little bit quirky, so you get to see my personality a little bit. But then it became like you got one little taste of like, Elon's funny. People talk about that, like athlete funny. Billionaire funny. The bar is possibly low. If you've even smirked or giggled at a single thing.

It's incel funny. Oh, my God. It's all incel. So fuck those guys. The ultimate Mad Libs headline, maybe of all time, is Britney Spears being smacked in the face by Victor Wemby's security.

That feels like an AI-generated, like, you know, click TMZ headline generator, and it just like throws names in when i saw that i was like what in the absolute fuck is happening here i'm stunned by how many people are like anti-britney on this like she like ran up on him and like jumped on him like i don't know she like i feel like fans it's not like totally outside of the realm of possibility of a fan to like go up to somebody. No,

I, I, I saw the video. I did. I, I actually saw the video. I had a great, cause I got in early,

um, for the, to Minneapolis. I had the funniest day where I, I was just like alone. Like no one was there yet. Mark and Mrs. Flight Chief wasn't there yet. And I was like, all right, I'm going to like try and find some shit to do.

So I went to an indigenous restaurant that was like very much. What the fuck does that mean? It's just indigenous food, which. Indigenous of? Like Native Americans. Oh, okay. food which i'm indigenous of like native americans okay and and the uh it was like on it was like by the sous chef s-i-o-u-x oh and it was like a wamani i think it was called we're gonna go there we're in minnesota it was delicious where you eat it was really good wow horses it was elk bison scallops i got a ton of stuff crawfish and then like

I forget what it was called but it was like some duck like kind of paste type deal bottomless pit bro you're disgusting it was really good you just mentioned like

a whole zoo's worth of meat you're an animal yourself and um people are one day gonna be like I eat elk I eat bison I eat Feidelberg

you fucking zoo animal but and then like it's like it's like very anti-colonialism. It was very like they use non-colonial wheats and all this stuff. Very much like, hey, you're on fucking stolen land right now. Fucking white man as you eat it, yeah. And then I wrapped up my dinner, paid my exceptionally high tab because everything is very well sourced.

It was like a $240 lunch. It was crazy. It was nuts. And then I called an Uber, went right to the Ball of America, and rode amusement parks inside and ate Auntie Anne's. You did all this alone? It was a nice little balance of the day. You did all that alone? I had nothing to do bro just

go to your like hotel and masturbate what are you doing that is crazy behavior you rode rides alone oh yeah baby i got a picture of you are you doing this for content or you did this for for you wait like waited around like other children and got on a roller coaster by yourself? This is Mall of America. Everyone's just a fat person. There's no kids. Everyone's just a bunch of obese people. Yeah, this is me in line.

I didn't take a picture of myself. Get out of here. I did the Spongebob fucking ride. There's flips inside. No, not outside. There's flips. It's inside. It's crazy.

You just waited solo just have a good time everyone else is like on a date or whatever there's two people together and you would just sit like in your own row i was just sitting there and i'm saying all this to say that i'm in line at the spongebob bus stop doing flips at the mall of america having my balanced day of let's help the indigenous and then let's go be american um and i'm sitting there being like this is peak america yeah it's just capitalism just give me a that's all i need yeah and then i just opened twitter and it was like bringing spirits got smacked by victor wambanya and i was like never mind yeah now it's peak america correction i i that was happened i could not believe the like the comments and the feedback of these guys who are like department of like homeland defense hardos who are like

victor wembanyana is the is the uh like the target and it is the security guard's subject and it is his job to protect him as if he was the president and we were in a war zone. He was at a club in public where there's a chance that fans are going to come up for pictures and autographs and stuff. There's not like a no one can, no one can come near that. Like you're Victor Wemba Yama. Like you're out there.

I don't think we're on the same side. I don't think anyone in the video did anything wrong. I think Brittany was fine. I think the security guard, I only saw like one angle. He kind of just like threw his hand. It wasn't like this vicious attack. I didn't think. I thought he was like, get the fuck out of here.

But the way he was like, I didn't – I did not see who she was. Meaning like – so he just fucking swung. I don't think that's – people are like, that's the job of security. I don't think it is. I think the job is to like kind of assess the situation because if that was a little kid or an old woman or in this case somebody who's famous like like again if it was somebody really important in a very like dangerous territory i could understand like we can't let anybody near you if you're like a basketball player at a club at a restaurant there might be people coming up to you where maybe you're supposed to i i think you would maybe step in between or like you put your arm out

or whatever but to just like whack and i i am, I guess I'm the only one who thinks this. I don't think it was her hand. I think his hand. The way it looks to me is like her hand seems to go down, not back. But whatever. That's besides the point. I think the security guard's job is to like protect him. But also not cause like a major incident.

You know? I don't. Again, maybe there are different angles. I didn't think there was a whacker. I, I saw it almost like a fly swap. Like, I heard someone come running up. I was like, get the fuck out of here. I, again, maybe I saw one, one angle from behind.

I just see like her, her head like wax back. No, I think we're talking about the same video. I don't think he like punched her in the face, but I think he, he did like a whack like that. And without looking at who it was i just i don't know like i think there's usually security that was either more aware of people running up for like mike to do that that's what dave said i don't think i think mike would be like i don't think i think part of it is to do it in like a uh i don't know safe manner or whatever like i could see mike like stepping in between somebody or putting an arm out, but to just blindly, like, whack.

I don't think Mike would ever get caught, like, hitting a random person in the face because I think that becomes an issue. Yeah, I don't know. I think it's just, like, particularly when you're, like, that looked like to me like they were almost at the door where, like, wherever they were leaving. It was like, we're out. Like, we already got through the mask. Like, get the fuck out of here. that was what was weird too though he was like their report was like fans were swarming him and britney grabbed him and it was like well none of that is true so like now you're already the video already is kind of showing

otherwise like britney was like i went up to him to tap him on the shoulder and they were like he was swarmed and grabbed him so i'm like one of you is lying right away and the video seemed to show Brittany's side was just more true like just walking up to him but but he I mean like if someone did it to Brittany someone went like used her like footsteps running behind up to Brittany

Spears it would get at least that reaction I'm surprised that Brittany didn't have somebody fucking there right now to be like to punch that guy in the face. You're not going to let my client get punched in the face. All our security guys quit because you kept farting on them. I'll tell you what, wrong, right, whatever side you're on. Victor Weminyama doesn't make this right.

His reputation and career on the internet will be the britney guy for the next like 25 years he'd someone they will they will not stop they do not stop they fought that fight for britney when nobody was talking about it for like a decade straight until being very wrong they're like we know we're wrong they took it to the fucking like supreme court eventually like they will watch that guy. The fact that all those Britney fans watched a Summer League Spurs game and just torched him on the internet. Oh, did they?

Oh, my God. The next night was his debut, and he was terrible. And it was just Britney fans just dunking on him, just clowning him, comparing. They were like, this is what Britney was doing at 19. And it was like, you know, pictures of her with the snake.

And then it was a picture of Victor Wimbigana, like on the floor laying down all these memes about him, like playing terrible. I was like, this is going to be your life on the internet forever. That is, that is the point. That's so awful.

If they, if they get 19, it was like, I don't know. They gave me a security guy. We're like the Vegas and he fucking didn't let someone run up on me. And he's like – he's young enough. I mean everybody knows who Britney is, but he probably really doesn't know.

Like, you know, he didn't live her. Yeah. He's from overseas. He's like her Celine Dion. Like, yeah, he's probably like – I don't even know. But that's why all the more reason to like clear the air here. Like do something. Tweet her.

Like make a – like if I was a PR team i'd be like take britney out to dinner send her a care package give her spurs tickets whatever lock her in a cage treat like her dad uh the theater lithium the the uh he's not gonna escape that someone said it's the perfect way for him to get introduced to America be not part of something be attacked by strangers and now you're the bad guy the only other guy who is more of a fucking menace

out there than Britney right now Usher is just causing all sorts of issues in the in the world of feminism and social media and these chicks. He's a problem. He sang to someone's wife? So he's been

doing these shows on tour or whatever where he dances up on women and sings to them and shit. And it's always been famous people at his shows. The A-Contour, I call it. The A-Contour. The first one was Kiki Palmer, who is a...

I don't really know. Bill Murray's girlfriend. No, that was Khalees. Kiki Palmer, I think is just an influencer. No, Kiki Palmer did... What's her hit? she's crazy like she has one smash of the songs okay um i've just seen that one video of her shaking her ass bottoms up

bottoms up by kiki palmer yeah buddy that's a hit dude so she has a baby daddy and there was a video of her like getting danced up on by usher kind of like a lap dance thing and then a baby daddy, and there was a video of her, like, getting danced up on by Usher, kind of like a lap dance thing. And then her baby daddy tweeted, like, you know, this is a woman who has kids and is, like, doing this. They're not married. They're not together. It's just that they share a kid together. She's single. She's out.

The star is, like, dancing on her, and she's, like's out the star is like dancing on her and she's like having fun with it and it turned into this whole like twitter you know how should women act how should men act but then he did it to uh sweetie and then he tried to do it to winnie palm winnie winnie winnie harlow harland harlow winnie harlow you know that model she's the girl who has like the splotchy skin okay and so she jumped up on k Kyle Kuzma's lap right away, being like, this is my boyfriend. Stay the fuck away from me. I'm not going to get caught up in...

Because much like the Victor Wim Binyama thing, all these people are fighting for Kiki Palmer or against her or whatever, and she's like, I just was at a concert, and a guy sang to me, and it turned into this like feminist versus misogyny, like war of what you can and can't do when you're in a relationship, when you're in public, when you're with a person, when you're not with a person. So if ushers come in your way and you're any female of any like status, plan your attack, like either run away if you don't want to be involved or fucking like you're gonna get divorced or something usher is mr steel your girl right

now i think i saw what was it like why are you dressed like that as a mom or something like that probably there was a lot of that with kiki palmer she's a mom i saw like me like she's super hot and like sexy like you know like someone tweeted like why are you dressed like that as a man? And it was like Mario. Like I saw memes of it and now as he explains it to me, I'm thinking that's where it came from. Yeah. So I was like, what the fuck is this all about? Yeah, it was a heavy like –

It's like this is just a – This is your ex-husband basically or ex- know whatever who you do have kids with but he doesn't you don't owe him shit as far as like what you do in public or romantically or whatever else you know and also it's just like a lap dance at like a concert which is a thing that like both men and women do yeah like you see lap dances i get they got fucking latex masks they got like see i i guess a lap dance if you a lap dance is something dance if you see a lap dance is something where if you see it you're probably like

I wish I didn't see that yeah totally it's not great but he put out like a tweet if a girl tells me I got a lap dance I'd be like oh word

she's like here's the video I'd be like oh word no thanks don't like that but you also never in a million years would put out like a little tweet manifesto

being like this woman here is a mother of two. Like who does she think she is? Like which brings us to the final one, the Jonah Hill fiasco, which is a classic. Everyone's the asshole. ETA situation where his ex-girlfriend from a couple of years ago posted all of their text messages. I don't I go out of my way to not read these things.

Because you want to still like Jonah Hill? No, because it's just treat people how you want to be treated. Then you don't want people to read you. Everyone, when it happens to me one day, I didn't read anything. Bro, I honestly thought about that while I was making One Minute Man. And I was like, fuck, when the text messages of mine come out it's gonna suck. But, I mean, there's

this story, really, if you want to boil it down, is just two crazy people who are dating each other and none of this should be public and they should have never met, they should have never dated, and they never should have they definitely should be making everything public, but it's just two crazy people who were horrible for each other and that's pretty much

all relationships this is basically my uh my uh wheelhouse now okay so here's before i start i do this on my video as well i think anything that happens in a relationship behind closed doors stays behind closed doors unless it's like violence and illegal otherwise i think shit gets weird and fucked up and sometimes you're the bad guy sometimes you're the good guy sometimes you know just relationships bring out the worst in you you bring out the worst in each other and a lot of shit gets said but that's kind of like you enter into a relationship and that means you're going to treat, things are going to be different than, like, friends,

friendships are. And when it goes south, like, that's part of the social contract, is then, like, okay, we break up, but then that's it. That should be it, I think. Yeah. And then, especially when you're dealing with famous people

and not famous people, because it's like, well, I can lose everything because of, like, how I acted in my relationship. Nothing will happen to you if I put you on blast. You know what I mean? Right this sucks so i i don't condone ever putting anything out there also some of her posts afterwards were like my therapist telling me that i'm type one bipolar well that's that's we're gonna get to that but she openly says she's like bipolar and anxiety and depression so she has like mental health issues as well so these are two people who just probably should not be like putting all their shit out

there because they're both crazy uh also jonah hill has another girlfriend and he just had a baby so blowing somebody up when their baby's like two months old is just fucked yeah that all aside these text messages, they were unbearable. The amount of therapy speak and just parroting that he had. John, first of all, he said the word surf culture like 30 times, which on the one hand, at the root of this issue, it sounds like he was mad every time she posted a video of her surfing or in a bikini. To the video of this issue, it sounds like he was mad every time she posted a video of her surfing or in a bikini. To the video of the Usher concert. But I also could see a scenario where, like, she was, like, sucking some dude's dick. And she's like, that's just surf culture, babe.

So who knows what happened behind closed doors. But he was like, surf culture is, like, not part of my, like, boundaries. He was just like, if you need need to if you need any of the following things and he puts like bullets in the text message if you see this is i i see things where i i also saw this like thing and i'm like why are people talking like i know that i was actually thinking we could make a very funny one for kfc radio i think like if you do any of the following like sleep and eat at night like uh but uh it was like if you need to like post a picture in a bathing suit if you need to like hang out with other men when you're surfing

if you need to hang out with women who are single it was like all of these like really regular fucking things like if it was like if you feel the need to like be doing drugs every night and like you know taking off your clothes in public like all this crazy shit it's legitimately just about her like being in a bathing suit and surfing like he started dating a model and a surfer and then didn't like when she was like modeling and surfing and she even has a text that was like it would have been cool if you like thought about this before we started dating but now it's a little too late but dude the therapy talk i can't do it i can't i hate everybody who does it. These are my boundaries. I am emotionally available for only this.

My mental bandwidth can handle this. And if you do not comply, this is triggering for me. And I need to cut you off from my train of thought. You know, whatever. It's just like, bro, why are you talking like that? You're just some guy that you pay to talk to you, talks this way,

and then you just repeat it. Why are you doing that? It is the perfect example, again, of, like, the internet ruined everything. Where, like, it is, it got so prevalent with how people talk, and, like, sure, maybe five years ago this was

a I feel like the good way to talk to your partner is always a new way where it's like this didn't work I'll try this new thing where like

sure maybe like in a textbook it's almost like fucking advanced stats versus eye test like in a textbook sure maybe the way to have a conversation

with your partner say these are my boundaries I appreciate it the fucking normal ass way the way that someone goes that guy can play is you go hey i fucking hate this and it fucking pisses me off when you don't do it but even that people were like and and again the reaction the the the feedback i thought is fucking crazy the amount of people being like this is just like i think the pendulum went way too far with feminism and now it's swung way too far the other direction with like this is just a man laying down the law saying what he wants and and if like a girl can't give it to him then like he has every right to do this it's like these are not boundaries for his behavior they're're boundaries for her behavior. You don't get to start dating someone who surfs and then say, I don't like when you post videos of you surfing.

That's not a fair boundary. And you can have that as your boundary, but then you just break up with that person. You don't get to like torture them and text them and like make them feel bad and like try to – But there also is a point where you're just like, well, this way – like I'm not going to do that, so I'm breaking up with you. True. And that's where I'm like both these people are. You've shared your boundary. I don't respect it.

So we're done. Right. And that's where she – she had a slew of texts that were like – she actually said to him you're the goat in her text messages, which made me like want to – imagine dating someone and saying you're the goat. I like – I keep people with texts that benefit the doubt. Like I don't think I've ever said it, but I could see myself saying it. She was like, you're so – I mean in her defense, she was like, you're so famous and cool and iconic. And I keep thinking to myself, I'm not good enough for you, so you're going to dump me. And then I spiral, and when I spiral, I do this.

And when I do that, you do this. It was this whole thing. I was like, yeah, you guys are just – one of you should have just broken up. But this is what – I mean I've been in that spot before. It's like we should not be together and we carried on way too long because of whatever the reason may be. But yeah, like these things are just like – and then that one text was like, my therapist says I'm the best boyfriend in the world. And I was like, kill yourself. Yeah, I like my therapist too.

I thought our girl Rosebud like summed it up best where she was like, I'm not going to judge Jonah Hill for having like weird and bad text messages that like you sent to your ex. We all do that. What we all don't do is then put out a documentary about how good our therapist is. That's a tough look. Especially when it appears that all you talk to your therapist about is your girlfriend's bathing suits and the boys she hangs out with at the beach. And now it's like,

the world needs to hear from this guy. See, that's why maybe like, we're always talking about the pendulum and like, maybe everyone doesn't need to be in therapy. If you're in therapy and you're like, I just, my girlfriend posts pictures in bikinis.

Therapy should be like, get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck over it, dude. Like, get out of over it. Yeah. But that guy goes, first of all, I want you to keep coming to me and I want you to keep paying me. So these are your boundaries and they need to respect that. And if they can't,

you need to tell them in a calm manner that like they need to, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, no, you need to either say,

get over it or dump her. I had a friend who got dumped by a therapist. Yeah. They're just like, I think we're done. So that was, that's, I think I don't want to be like the totally anti-therapy. Part of me does say that. Part of me thinks this.

Women, wanted guys in therapy, you fucking got it. Fucking be careful what you ask for because it was a lot better when we would just go – Guys will literally get blackout drunk and do a podcast instead of going to therapy trust me it's better for you this way it's better because what's gonna happen is now you're gonna get a bunch of stubborn dudes who are argumentative and now they think they have the backup because some guy who they paid 200 an hour taught him some buzzwords vocab that they're gonna throw at you and the way the way you throw gas light at me i'm gonna throw boundaries at you and we're gonna fight until you know the fucking sun comes up when it used to just be like fine that was it it used to be okay fine now you got your you got your wish men in therapy but i go to therapy to work to the fucking

workshop by jokes and that's it if you if you have an issue scratch that from the playlist if you have an issue you should go to therapy for it and i think if you resolve that issue or like learn how to like here are the tools to get you through this when it pops up then i think you should leave this like lifelong never-ending therapy you're just constantly making your issues worse for yourself when i go it's like like so what do you want to talk about yeah like you get so easy like why are you here what you got going on also i got nothing i got nothing when they're like what do you want to talk about it's like well what we should talk about is like the worst thing in my life but i don't i'm not gonna bring that up yeah i always

need you to know my issues so that you can force me to do it otherwise i don't know we're gonna talk about the mess. It really is. I think we talked about it with Rory and Maul. It is like I think the New York Times had the article where it's like we don't know if it works. Like all science is like 50% but like 50% of like whether it cures anything. But it's just like people like talking to people. Yeah.

So just talk to people. And people love sympathy. And a lot of doctors giving them sympathy or in this case being like, yeah, she's wrong. I mean, references to doctors. Science does prove that the way they talk to you makes you feel good, yes. Does it cure depression?

No, but it makes you feel good so you can just talk to people. And that's not an antitherapy. We do both. But it's also like, I feel good when we're done with the show because we had a conversation

and we talked to people. And the therapy speak has got to stop. If you've got an issue, you can be like, hey, I don't like like this but the whole like my what was it you guys when we did the show you guys you guys were both like i was like you guys gotta get off therapy tiktok because you're like you guys ever like i think if i've been you you guys were just saying the most normal things that is like oh it was just like like saying something embarrassing and then

thinking about it for the next like three days yeah i was like everyone does that oh yeah i mean the amount of like tiktok diagnoses i'm like okay i have adhd i have anxiety i have depression i have all these things it's like do you ever like have arguments in the shower with yourself you might be bipolar what the fuck are you talking about crazy one last thing um have you seen what's going on oh yeah we talked about a little bit with adam and lena the plug yes so adam 22 very famous podcaster in the hip-hop world no jumper podcast him and his wife now wife for a long time girlfriend they jumped into the only fans world and they are porn stars but basically only with each other and then female

porn stars. So Adam and Lena they do a show called Plug Talk on OnlyFans where they sit down with a female porn star, they interview her and in the second half, the second hour they have sex with her on camera. Pretty cool business model. And they've done a lot of that both in

their personal lives and professionally like having threesomes with chicks. And then recently, I guess because she was like, you know, I used to get off on this and it's kind of become like plain and normal to me. And I want to hook up with another dude. She said the conversation – I listened to the interview between them. And it makes it – kind of normalizes it a lot more because this is obviously so far-fetched for people to think about but she was just like she said that she had a conversation where she's like do you really think we're like never gonna sleep with anybody else other than each other for the rest of our lives which i think is a kind of like a thought that people have when it's like this is

it like forever you know and they were like well we'll probably do like some swinging and when we when they were much younger there was a time where adam and another dude fucked her together so they're like we already have done a two guy threesome but it was back when they weren't really dating so they were having this kind of conversation and i guess it just came to be that she was like i want to do this and he was like okay but they turned it into business basically and they hyped it up and she fucked this gigantic black dude, which in his world, in the hip hop world, a lot of people are being like, you got this is like a cuck adam is down bad and he's just trying to cope adam hates this and his wife is just torturing him but then like you listen to the interview and they're like i don't know they're just into kinky shit you know i mean he was like he was like everyone thinks i'm a cuck and he's like i'm not a cuck because like cuck usually

means like i want to be humiliated he's like i just think also you watch it if you're a cuck and he's like I'm not a cuck because like cuck usually means like I want to be humiliated he's like I just think also you watch it if you're a cuck yeah yeah it's like I sit in the corner and they like abuse me and belittle me while they fuck he's like I just think it's hot to watch my girl have sex and he genuinely was like even if I was a cuck he was like I don't I don't know I just I wasn't that horrified by it and it's just like you know he said a lot of guys are talking to me about like if it was them and it's just like you know he said a lot of guys are talking to me about like if it was them and it's like yeah you know you and your girl who live in like the suburbs live in a regular life like it's fucking weird for you we fuck on camera it's just a different a different thing but all that being said a lot of the interview they also talk about like how business is booming and how

much money they're gonna make and then lena brought up how like adam has cheated before in the past and it still bothers her so i was like if your motivations are like hey i want to swing and i want to fuck other guys and you're cool with that and you think it's hot and then even if you're like hey let's make a little money because that's what we do they must have made but i think i don't even know if it's like out yet so i think he said business is already booming because i also – I thought this was fake at one point. And I texted him. I was like, is this for real? Like there's actually a video coming out.

There's not some like prank. And he was like, no, no, it's coming. But he even – like even in the conversation, people are like – you can hear in the conversation he talks about how he's uncomfortable with it and he's just like dealing with it. And I was like, like well i don't know yeah if your partner comes to you and says here's something i really want to do and you are uncomfortable with it but you like allow them to do it i actually think that's like a good thing yeah you know rather than just being like some jonah hill show these are my boundaries i'm out he's like okay if we do it here's how it's got to be done like you know i gotta know who it is he

was like you have to be very loving to me. And like when you do it, like you can't just ignore me. And and like all these different things. It's like that just sounds like a couple who does shit outside the norm. And they talked about it. Yeah. You know, a lot of people like they've got a kid. Were they going to say about that? But yeah, I don't know.

And that girl's older and they find out that mom got like, you know, fucked on camera by some. I don't know. Well, across that bridge when they get there. But right now it just sounds like a couple who decided to do some kinky shit that people aren't used to and the world has like, you know, flipped out over it. It's kind of crazy. But that's probably what you want. Yeah. I mean, that's where they're like, ride the wave.

But I'm also like, they have sex on camera with other people. It just used to always be girls. Now it's a guy and people are like this is outrageous what well then it is there are two different ways i mean chicks in college just make out at bars yeah that is the big double 30s just make it get to a bar you get two shots of tequila you start kissing girls yeah you can't it just doesn't i walk in the big Gay 90s one time. Bro, could you imagine, though, if it was just like, oh, man, we got so fucked up last night. Me and John did a couple shots and we're kissing. Were we making out?

Did we kiss last night? Yeah, right. Pass the pancakes. Oh, my God. That was crazy. That was crazy. That would be so fucking wild if we just kissed. That would be crazy. What are you doing later so fucking wild if we just kissed. Like, that would be crazy.

What are you doing later, man? You want to go out? All right, let's get to this voicemails quick, and then we'll do Adam. It's the summer of pirate water, baby. I got a video sent to me the other day that was a dad just floating in his pool, sipping on a pounder of Bahama Mama. Living the dream. And I was just thinking, what an awesome world.

I knew it was going to be a party drink. I knew that the younger kids and the college kids were going to be raging, drinking a $2, 10% alcohol by volume, summertime flavored party drink. I knew it was going to be at tailgates and at colleges and all that. Frat parties, all that frat parties all that shit i just never envisioned the dad of like two or three floating on a on a raft in the in the pool just getting you know drunk off of one can of pirate water yeah it's easy right why why you want to drink six ipas or however many get a pirate water in yet you're going and not not only to mention like you for yourself you don't want to be like bloated and shrug and all that also you know it's a healthy drink totally uh

but what your you know your wife or your mom or whoever in your life that bothers you about this stuff they probably don't know oh i've only had one honey it doesn't matter that one will do the trick they don't have to know that so uh right now you can get it in margarita sex on the beach bahama mama and miami vice next year we have even better flavors coming that are going to take this thing to the next level uh we're all retiring off of pirate water because everybody from guys and girls in college all the way up to moms and dads later in life are loving pirate water so go to drinkpiratewater.com or find pirate water at a local location near you. Or you can order it on GoPuff.

At this point, it's in a lot of different liquor stores and gas stations and convenience stores and all that. So buy it there. Or if you want to have it delivered to your house, go to drinkpiratewater.com. What's up? So this weekend, I had a memory unlocked. My sister-in-law and my mother were talking. And the subject of safe words came up.

So my sister-in-law texted me. She was like, do you remember what you and your brother's safe word was? I thought about it for a second. I said, oh shit, yeah, it was born on the cob. And I went down the Jersey Shore this weekend, and I was with a couple of friends, and I said, I was like, do you guys remember having a safe word, what was it, and they were like, what the fuck are you talking about, and I don't know, maybe they grew up on the nicer side of town, I grew up on the bad side of town. So my parents established a safe word. Maybe if you guys don't know, a safe word when you were a kid,

let's say my mom was picking up me and my brother from school and she couldn't make it. We had established always a safe word where, say, a friend's mom or somebody was picking us up. They would say, hey, your mom told me to pick you up. We would say, what's mom or somebody is picking us up, they would say, hey, your mom told me to pick you up. We would say, what's the safe word? She would say, corner the cop. We'd be like, alright. We know you're good. And my friends were like, why the fuck would you

ever do that? And I thought that was like a normal thing growing up. So my question is, did you have a safe word i thought this was going what was your safety that just needs to be labeled something differently because talking to your mom and sister about your safe words together is fucking i i thought it was gonna be i obviously it wasn't gonna be like they were fucking kinky style i thought it was gonna be like uncle like

when you want someone to stop tickling yeah yeah okay but but i i thought it was gonna be more hey dude why are you calling it that? But I don't think I've ever done that, but it's not a bad idea. I don't know. Yeah, same thing. I don't think I'm going to shock anyone when I say I did not have that.

But I would just go home with whoever. I would get into any van, no matter if they knew the code word. My t-ball coach would pick me up from school. No, that's it. I think that's actually a great, you know, like if you're ever uncomfortable about something, like ask them the, you know, just like a code to know that like things are all good. I think that's actually a good idea.

I might implement that with my kids. Yeah, no. But I just wouldn't call it a safe word. I call it a code word. Call it like, you know, the password, whatever. Safe words are for like, no, no, no. Don't put that in my ass. So having that with other family members, fucking weird.

Did the I remember there was one time we were really little and we were at my grandfather's house and it was like some kind of cookout or whatever. And me and my cousins went and they were two girl cousins and we went for like a walk by ourselves like went around the block or whatever we were young and I don't know why but like we like had this story that like

someone tried to kidnap us and we were like we're gonna tell them about how they tried to kidnap us like it didn't happen here we go it's been a little while since we've had something utterly ridiculous and we were like, we're going to tell them about how they tried to kidnap us. It didn't happen. Here we go. It's been a little while since we've had something utterly ridiculous from you. So you made up a story about getting kidnapped? It wasn't very in detail.

It wasn't like this big plan. It was like we came back and – And who was – you and who? Like two girl cousins. One of my older cousins, she was like – she's older than me but not – Right, right, right. So you were like, let's go home and tell them that we were out for a walk together and someone tried to kidnap us. It wasn't even a plan. It was just like we came back and my older cousin was like, someone tried to kidnap us.

And you just rolled. And yeah, and they were like, the parents and everyone were like, really? And I was like, yeah. And they were like, all right. And that was just it. That was it. And that was the it. That was, that was, and that was, and that was the end of the story.

I always, they were like, I remember my mom turning around and she was in like a Adirondack type chair. And she was just like, someone really tried to kidnap you. And I was like, yeah. And she was like,

wow. Like not even like she, I would have put a stop stop to it before the police got involved or anything like that. Didn't need to worry about that. It didn't get to that part. Didn't even get remotely close to that, John. It didn't get to a third follow-up question. You got one – not even a question. You just got a story and a really, and that was it. Really?

Yeah. Red Adirondack. I can sit on my grandpa's big porch, and she was on the lower red the red adirondack i can like sit on my grandpa like this big porch and and she was on the lower level and she's like really i was like yeah bro i'm starting to realize i just knew like we were lying but yeah yeah i'm sure but i got i got shit the other day i went to uh fantasy island in long beach island it's a little like kid amusement park and i was i was it was me and shay and keegan and shay wanted to go on some rides that keegan didn't want to go on so specifically one was the ferris wheel so big ferris wheel keegan doesn't like to go high so i said hey can can uh he just hang out with you like the the guy who operates

the fucking thing so can you just like sit right here with you while we go on it and i told my mom that and she was like i'm calling the police on you like you can't be trusted i'm calling child protective services like what's wrong with you leaving him with like the the the child trafficker and i'm like like first of all i could see him the whole time yeah second of all when we were like younger I remember playing a game at the Jersey Shore where we would throw a Frisbee into the ocean. And we would all run in and try to find the Frisbee in the fucking waves at night with no lifeguards or parents. It was a glow-in-the-dark Frisbee, like, barely lit up. And it was five or six kids ranging from probably, like, 12 to, like, six. Just, like, rushing into the wake and the surf to find a fucking Frisbee.

And nothing from you guys. Nothing. Nothing at all. So I don't want to fucking hear it. I think I've come to realize that our generation of parents just were were like yeah we don't care what you do yeah like the good like the bad ones sure but even the good ones were kind of like yeah you know all those stories of like you should just ride bikes we came home when the lights were on and we we you know what a safe word because i don't know maybe maybe you just sent your neighbor to pick your kids up or whatever

like none of that would happen yeah no i would never send someone else to pick up my kids like i would never leave my kids alone i would never do like any of that shit anymore i don't feel like it's like you know it should be that way and that's how it was for our parents i just don't think they remember that so all right next up uh real quick uh just i was at a house in vermont and the we were walking around the property and there were fucking gravestones outside of it. Oh, jeez. Which was very scary to find the first day, but... Pauly. Jonathan.

Weirdos. Hey, guys. I got a question for you. There's this thing called an anti-resume featured up where essentially it's anything that you brag to your friends about but you couldn't like put on an actual job resume what would be on yours so like for example like if you've done the eight or six twelve eighteen twenty four challenge or like if you banged Ice Spice prior to her being famous,

or something dumb that you could brag to, but you can't actually say in a drop interview, what would be on your guys? I've been Thomas Timey God. Really? What do you mean? What's an example? I went to Big A 90's kink party.

But it's got gotta be something that like it can't just be a wild story. It's gotta be something like he said like my dad loves to tell people that he didn't fuck Sharon Stone. He's like it's great because everyone's like oh you fucked her? He's like no I actually turned her down. Yeah alright I guess the

I bet a lot of people have like a music one like I saw that person play Yeah, all right. I guess the – I bet a lot of people have like a music one. Like I saw that person play. I saw Taylor Swift before when she was doing open mics or whatever. But there's a lot of those. I saw this guy play in high school before he went pro, that kind of shit. Yeah, now that I'm thinking about it, my initial reaction was like i got 100 now i can't think of any uh fuck an anti-resume is that how he described it yeah i mean but it's it's not bad it's just

things that you can't actually brag about is what he kind of said so like you can't it's an accomplishment that you jerked off like 24 times in a day, but you can't put that on your resume. You can't say I fucked Ice Spice before she was famous. But if you're hanging out with people, they would go, oh, shit, that's cool. Sadly, I don't know if I have a good one. 33% of my girlfriends have ****. Cut that. Live show. What if we just had 33% of my girlfriends have...

You tell me. I don't know. There's probably a lot of things that could fit in there. A lot of things. I mean, I... I've been in People Magazine I had a I had a week where I

I had a week where I dominated the tabloids I had TMZ outside my office waiting for me to to leave god damn it I don't know those are good ones those are good ones my resume my office waiting for me to leave. God damn it.

I don't know if I have it. Those are good ones. Those are good ones. Anti-resume. Anti-resume. I guess ours would kind of be like Barstool, like the internet and stuff. You know what I mean?

Like I was... It's like a hard question because I think there are things I just would brag about. Yeah, yeah. In our world, it's a resume. Anti-resumes are the resume.

Yeah, yeah. That's where we differ from people. Where it's like, shit happens to us and it's like yeah we're gonna tell the world but yeah that would probably be mine

alright let's do our interview Devine's on the show he's fucking awesome by the way from now on we're gonna be doing voicemail of the week so get your voicemails in

voicemail of the week if you have the best voicemail we send you pirate water and a whole care package of merch and all sorts of KPC radio stuff

so best video voicemail. You don't have to put your face on it, but it's got to be video submitted. You get, you can win the, win the care package. I've been wanting to come on here for a while. Come on. I don't know who you are. Yeah. Sure.

I don't know why it's so far away. Good. I'm going to move this. Yes. I'm going to line so far away. Good. You brought it. Good. You have it. Thanks. What's up? Everything feels off.

Everything always feels off. Things just slide in here, I think. Are you guys just moving this, gaslighting it? Moving it an inch every day? Is this too close now? I don't know. You're in all white. I got nervous about you going to spill it or something.

Dude, I don't know. They put me in close. I feel like I'm playing like movie star dress up. Do they really? Yeah. Because I come dressed in a fucking trash bag. That Todd Snyder shirt looks nice. It does look like a Todd Snyder.

Maybe. Seems real. What's up, Todd? Top of the body. You good to go? All right. Let's do it. I'm always interested in that. You good to go? Alright, let's do it. I'm always interested in that.

Do you have say in what you wear? Or do they literally just throw it at you? Yeah. Oh yeah, she has to make sure. Dude, it's a whole thing. I really want you to be... I feel like they want me to be 20% more handsome than I actually am. So it's a lot of –

This guy is so perfect. Yeah, they're like – I'm sure. They're like, you know what would be great? If Adam is a little bit hotter. Like, yeah, he's funny, blah, blah, blah. And he's good-looking enough. Like there was a joke in Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates where it's like, yeah, he's like a good looking guy if a good looking guy is standing in a funhouse mirror.

Like it's like a little off. And that's how I feel like my agents and publicists and all those people are like, yeah, and make sure he's not dressed in a garbage sack and make sure he has enough powder on his forehead. We had the first time we ever had DeStefano on. Chris DeStefano a very funny comedian he said to me oh this is this is nice but brutal he said you have leading man hair and best friend face yeah and i was like that stuck with me forever no that was like six years ago honestly honestly i'll take it you know you'll take it until you get it and then you're like well listen i wish i had something else yeah when it when it hits so close to home that's when it really sticks with you you're like that

wasn't my core yep okay so they say it too they see it too i've been told everything i i get uh celebrity lookalikes but they'll always be like you look like his uh like special needs brother or the ugly version of and i'm like if you look up does adam divine it fills in have down syndrome and that's not a joke that's not a joke and it should it shouldn't be canceled canceled laughing too hard uh that is but i swear to god it does it does and i keep saying on podcast too i'm like i'm'm willing it even more into existence. So it'll never go away. It would be great.

Because, listen, your career is amazing. We'll talk all about it in a minute. But if you did all of that, the hands are dry. Yeah, it would be an all-time story. Yeah, it would be. Maybe we should start full-time a little more. I don't know. Yeah, I'm leaning into it.

I'm leaning into it, for sure. Shane Gillis has a joke on stage. He always goes, I just kind of dod into it. I'm leaning into it for sure. Shane Gillis has a joke on stage. He always goes, I just kind of dodged it. It almost got me. I think I've seen that. Yeah. I get that same too. It's like you're Mark Wahlberg's

fatter, uglier, younger brother. Or maybe older brother. No, he's like 15 years older than me. I can't tell. You could be way old or very young. People maybe older brother. And I'm like, no, he's like 15 years older than me, but like, I can't tell you could be way old or like very young. So rude. Right. And I don't really care at the end of the day,

but I'm just like, you're crying right now. I don't really care at the end of the day. I don't, I don't really care. It doesn't bother me, but if you bring up the topic, I have memories about it.

I can tell you it happened 7 years ago and it bothers me all day but at the end of the day that's when I let it go and I go to sleep only in front of microphones do I talk about it it wakes me up in the middle of the night it's just like why do you say or like

we'll do a live show and we do a picture afterwards and they'll be like I like him a lot better than you and And I'm like – Take the fucking picture, man. Thanks, man. What do you want me to say to that? I'm happy you like him. You have to stand there for a few more seconds.

I'm already hugging you. Hover-handing. Take the hug back. I'm holding your lower back as a man. So maybe we just take the photo. I will always take as many pictures and I don't begrudge anybody who wants to do it but I just could never I just wouldn't.

Let me just go to you and kind of hug you. For just like three seconds. And then tell someone to take it again because the flash didn't work or whatever. It's like, what are we doing? Yeah, it's always amazing when someone wants to take a photo with me because I'm like, me? There's like really cool people out there. Yeah, for sure yeah that's

a good point at the end of the day i get it like what you're you're a legitimate man like people should want to take pictures with us it's like i'll take you want me to take one of you and your friends yeah yeah crazy dude um speaking of you said as a man earlier and uh new movie outlaws on netflix um i i have not a rule but like i get uncomfortable if i bring up like intimate scenes with as a man you do an actor where i'm like dude you got to kiss so and so like that's weird but having said all that bro you got to kiss pierce brosnan i will say like i was watching it last night i was like oh the kiss kid like that fucking sick

i've kissed some hunks in my day i kissed uh pierce i kissed zach ef Efron. I got a little laundry list of honks. Honestly, I genuinely think that's better than making out with some of the hot chicks of the world. Way better. Way better. A better story. Oh, for sure. A better story, yeah. Well, you're a weirdo if you're at a bar being like,

I kissed, you know, whoever. I kissed Charlize Theron. You're like, yeah, in a movie that you're paid to do it? Yeah. You're not dating her right now, are you? No. She needed every second of it, dude. She never wanted to do that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was an intimacy coordinator right up to the side going like, are you okay? Are you okay? Do you consent? Do you consent? Yeah, do you? But Pierce, we were kissing off screen.

Yeah, right? A lot of practice runs. A lot of dry runs. So he is the man. Dude, he's so cool. He's older than I realized, too. He's up there. He still looks awesome.

He's in his 70s. He's more athletic than I am. He's just a jock. He also... I work out all the time to maintain this. I work out every day to maintain this like what's gonna happen when i'm 70 like i'm just gonna look like a sack of fucking potatoes and this guy doesn't work out i'm like what do you do what do you do to work out and he goes i'm rich but yeah what do

you mean what do you mean i'm worth hundreds of millions of dollars he didn't say that but he was like i just go golfing and i'm like I guess that's enough sometimes I think even Rich helps no doubt but I Europeans they always say it's because they don't eat

the same kind of foods and I he's been living in America for like 40 years no it's you're born with it man when you're a Euro you're born with it

and again he is European but dude is he Welsh or Scottish no he's Irish he's Irish and I'm like motherfucker I am Irish

Irish is not European yeah I'm like, motherfucker, I am Irish. Irish is not European. Yeah, I'm like, that's not. Dude, I have an Irish body. Yeah, Irish. My face turns all red. I have like two drinks at night. My fucking eyes bulge out of my head. I like big old bags.

Irish is not like, I know what you're talking about. That's like Spanish and it's Mediterranean. That's European. Irish is fucking Irish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not a good thing. I'll That's European. Irish is fucking Irish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not a good thing. I'll tell you what it is. It's the name.

If your name is Pierce Brosnan, I hope that's his real name. It's not a stage name. Yeah, I think it is. That is like you're going to be something. CEO, an actor, a hunk of some sort. See, I'm like thinking because my wife and I are thinking about having kids soon. And I'm like, well, you got to pick a name that there's no way they can't be successful. Yes. Like, and I already have a pretty cool last name divine.

I would say it's a good last name. Let's name your first board. Pierce divine. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, I hope that's not weird for my boy Brosnan that I'm for sure naming my child after him, but I'm for sure naming my child after him. But I'm doing it.

The Outlaws, July 7th, only on Netflix. I had a buddy when I was younger. He's still a friend of mine, but more when I was younger where I was obsessed with his middle name. It was just Logan. Logan Devine. Not a bad name. I think to this day, I think Logan is a cool ass name. Granted, it's Wolverine's name, which probably helps. But yeah, those things matter. Or Wolverine. Not a bad name. To this day, I think Logan is a cool-ass name. Granted, it's Wolverine's name, which probably helps.

But yeah, those things matter. Or Wolverine. Or Wolverine. He's going to be a UFC fighter or something. He just is out there hitting trees as a youth. You're like, train! Be stronger! Your bones are metal!

Imagine if you did like name your kid Pierce and you saw him again you're like hey man hey or like yeah I saw

I saw that thing I saw a headline that you named your son Pierce after the promotion for the movie like movie so good

Adam Devine named his son Pierce yeah yeah yeah the stunts these actors pull to get people to watch their damn movies man The promotion for the movie. Like, movie's so good. Adam Devine named it Sunk Piece. The stunts these actors pull to get people to watch their damn movies, man. It is such a good movie, though. Thanks. It's one of those things, like, going into it.

Rom-coms are so hit or miss. I feel like a rom-com is either going to be like, that was fucking awesome. That was a great hour and a half, two hours, whatever it is. Or you're like, what did I just see? Well, I feel like you got to rom-coms like comedy went through a weird phase where like comedy wasn't cool anymore yeah like so everyone was trying to do comedy but disguise it as something else so like the rom-coms it was too rom yeah there's too much goddamn rom in here all the time bring out more calm yes and so that's what this's what we need we need calm yeah exactly this is a calm rom an action com action yeah the action's fucking sick too dude that's what i love about the the

movie is it starts off and it feels like a small romantic comedy movie and then like 20 minutes in it just like blasts off and there's like a crazy crazy car chases and bank like you know i don't want to spoil anything but like huge bank robberies big ass shootouts yeah and the shootouts are funny it's particularly the one in the cake shop i was fucking laughing it's a good ass movie now i'm talking about i'm getting more excited it's a good ass movie thanks man i'm really excited for it you need to become somehow the tastemaker like critic like when it comes to these movies you know what he just did he watched the entire fast and the furious series in a row 24 hours and he recorded every uh accident car

accident he was on a live stream for 24 hours straight like he is the maven when it comes to these like fun action like type movies and like if he says it's good like it's it's gonna i love that dude i mean you could tell i'm proud of it i'm wearing all my all whites i'm out here at barstool wearing my whites i hit the tennis courts after yeah i'm either gonna be on a yacht this afternoon or i'm out here promoting a movie rocking my whites um the uh i i feel i've always thought that pitch perfect was is like the standard for rom-coms i mean i guess that's almost like this extra element with music as well but i mean to me that was that was a movie that was like goes beyond the rom-com where it's like this is

just let's just call it a good movie we don't need to put a label on it whatever that's just good thank god that movie worked i remember when it because it like, we had done season one of workaholics. Season one had come out. We had, we're finishing season two. And when I got the offer for, to do the movie and I'm like, was kind of torn because workaholics was considered like kind of edgy and like a little cool, you know? And, uh, and, and, uh, acapella music was not. And collegiate acapella music less so, I would say.

And I brought it to my guys. I brought it to Durs and Blake. And I had the script. And I'm like, would you guys mind taking a look at this and give me your thoughts? And Durs read like 30 pages. He's like, this is funny, dude. You'd be really funny in this. And I'm like, all right.

And then Blake was was like yeah and then cut to we're working late like midnight and we're like writing episodes uh trying to finish and uh he comes into my office he's like you can't do this movie dude you cannot do this movie no way this is going to bury all of our careers if you go and do a singing acapella so i was like torn and but then i was like fuck you i'm doing that worst friend ever just my ass forward to like you know bajillions of dollars in the box office or whatever i was like thank god i did that movie three movies later i mean that dude see i'm such a pussy i'd be like all right i'm out yeah i will be so you know why not even like you're gonna all of us i would be like i'll take my own risk but if i I ruin my friend's career, it's going to be that bad?

I knew that that wasn't real. By the way, Blake swears this never happened. I remember it so viscerally, but he's like, I never said that. I'm like, fuck off. You did too. I know you did. Dude, why wouldn't he be about burying careers? It would be about I'm not giving my friend a leg up.

We'll be working at fucking wherever whatever jobs we have and he'll be like i fucking told you dude that's what i care about more than he's right on this one i'll never hear the end yeah i mean never in a million years at the time that came out what i have told you that i wanted to see a rom-com movie about acapella music yeah but when i watched it i remember what do you remember what year it was? I think 2012. Yeah. So I'm like – how old am I at that point? I was 85.

So I'm like in my 20s. We were in the Hamptons. We got a house for the summer. Yeah, you're probably like 28. I think I'm like a couple years older than you. So you're probably like 25 or 24. Yeah, 25, 26, whatever it was. And we were like in the prime years of partying. We would get a house for the summer and just drink and just be animals from Memorial Day to Labor Day.

And that summer, we watched Bitch Perfect at our house a thousand times. And I was like, this movie's great, bro. Please don't stop the music. The drunk arguments I've had in the Hamptons screaming that the troublemakers won the whole thing. We were pretty talented. I was like, are you kidding me? It was a sporting event. I never would have guessed it, so good on you for taking the risk because it

was funny. It was a really funny script. It was also the first time I've ever been one of the leads of a studio movie. so like I was like stoked on just that I was like stoked on craft services yeah because workaholics like they gave us like three dollars to make that show our services suck for like the first like

three years and then they're like how's the uh the podcast game going? sick, this is important promo mode it's fun dude I yell at all of you people all you actual celebrities who come into our industry I'm sure, I'm sure there's only so many dollars and guess where they're going now

they're going with Mark Wahlberg's fucking brother over here Meghan Markle's taking them all, not even doing the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a move by her. I just heard that, yeah. She did 12 episodes or something like that? I want to do that deal.

Like, still get all the money and not have to do the damn thing. Where's my agent? Come on, man. I promise you, we won't get as many listeners. Actually, we probably get as many listeners as Megan Markle's podcast did. Those two are they i tip my cap because i don't think anybody actually likes them but they just they're great but they just get all the attention it's amazing yeah good for you yeah i mean if only our parents were

literal royalties and we could cash in like that or i was in usa show one or the other yeah or or give them a good name like Pierce Divine. I'm starting to have a bit of a conspiracy theory that this is all promo for Suits because it recently came on Netflix. Well, dude, I always made fun of – and I bet it's a good show. But I just thought it was a funny name for a show, like just guys in suits. And you call it Suits. I'm like, all right, I'm going to start a show called t-shirts. Yeah. So I was,

I was like, Gerard Butler in plane. Yeah. Great movie. That is pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. But,

uh, the, and now that it's on Netflix, I think just cause I've heard about it so much, I'm like, maybe I check, maybe I check. It's what you think it's going to be,

but it's a great way to spend 40 minutes. Guys in nice tailored suits. Yeah. That's what I think it's going to be, but it's a great way to spend 40 minutes. It's just guys in nice tailored suits. That's what I think it's going to be. Just doing that thing where they fix their cuffs. Yeah, they're always tucking it down. Earlier you said something that for some reason I keep thinking about. When you were like comedy wasn't cool for a while and people were trying to disguise it as other things. What were some good ones you think?

Well, I mean I feel like the comedy i was talking about this earlier like even like in the early 2000s there were 40 something comedies that came out every year so so there was two thing yeah so there was like several comedies in studios would release so every month and and then now uh there was something like six or four last year no way yeah that low i knew it was low like it's truly dead think about it what's the like what are the really like funny blockbuster type comedies they stopped making years you can't even think of them yeah they stopped making what did something happen in the industry or that like we don't like i mean i would imagine with like the way like comedy and pc culture and cancel blah blah blah went like you had to be a little bit more

safe yeah you had to be less funny yeah you i guess streaming changes things maybe a lot of that stuff went to streaming instead but it's not like it's not like we like there's still a market for it people love funny shit for sure well i think i think that's why podcasts do so well now it's like people get their fix of comedy that way. But it also like comedies became like so bloated and expensive and they weren't getting the same bang for their buck. But at the same time, I – because there's not like a real – no one has a real answer for it. But I think it's like superhero movies. People got so used to like going and seeing like a hundred million dollar like superhero movie and then when

they go and spend the same amount of money to go see like a little comedy where people are just being funny in a car or something they're like that's not yeah but that's like i don't know i think of those movies old school and and and that will ferrell run and those like yeah but dude we're old now like you think of like people like so what, like, if you were 25 years old right now and you didn't grow up on those movies because for the past, like, 10 years, they haven't been making those movies. Right. You don't, you think those are lame as shit.

You don't even know. It's like when, like, like, old people were talking about the old Cheech and Chong movies. I'm like, well, that's not for me because that was, like, before. But usually something takes its place. And in this place and in this place in this case it got replaced by something that's not comedy it got replaced by like action yeah by like where the comedy uh is in superhero movies now they're like the war's actually pretty funny it's pretty funny dude and you watch it and you're like, he made two jokes. Yeah, yeah. That's all right. I get that.

That means that I would love to be in Thor. I'm not saying I don't like those movies. You would be great in those movies. Thanks, man. Yeah, they need to find, you know, like whenever there's like one guy who's a comedic. They need a squishy little guy out there hobbling around. Do you think comedies went more towards TV? Are there more?

I guess even TV. I can't think – like I still watch the 30 Rocks. Well, now it's like every comedy is like – well, that's what I say about like the Outlaws. I'm like this is – there's no hidden agenda. Like we're not going to be at the end of this movie and go like, was that about global warming? You're not going to be like – Don't Look Up was like a whole like government lobbying. Yeah, you're not going to be at the end and. was like a whole, like, government lobbying. Yeah,

you're not going to be at the end and be like, yeah, let's take down Big Pharma or whatever. You know, it's just a funny, it's just a funny action comedy

and you're going to, hopefully you're going to like it and think it's fun. Right. You know what, I mean, is probably one of the, like,

highest quality out there is Righteous Gemstones. Righteous Gemstones. How are you doing so much right now? It's crazy. Righteous Gemstones just dropped and you're not even here promoting that.

Danny loves that. Danny's super pumped that I'm not talking about Righteous Gemstones. Check out the Righteous Gemstone It's on the max or whatever People who watch it and know it are like This is fucking brilliant It's so fun dude

I just want the whole world to know it Do you think that like Because of the comedy aspect of it That it doesn't really get I feel like something like Succession There were so many people talking And I guess it kind of flies in the attention. I feel like something like Succession, right? There were so many people talking. And I guess it kind of flies in the face of what you're saying. There isn't a...

But then people are like, it's actually pretty funny. And admittedly, I watch Succession, and I do think Cousin Greg is... I think his character makes me laugh. That's not a comedy. But yeah, it's not a... You're not like... The whole point of the show isn't to make you laugh.

Right, right. And the Righteous Gemstone is to make you laugh. But with a really good script and a good story. When people love it so much, like, it's such a great commentary on the Murdoch family. You could make that same argument with, right, it's just too funny. You're not thinking about the commentary first. You're thinking about the comedy first. There's maybe a little too much dick in it.

I think this new season, less dick. commentary first think about the comedy yeah yeah maybe a little too much dick in it yeah but i think this new season uh less dick oh i wasn't thinking myself as personally i'm speaking about for the new york times writers who oh sure sure no there's a proper amount of dick for me yeah which is weird because like you know you you you think like woke culture they want to be inclusive of all all dicks and all non-dicks right i'm like you'd think they'd be very pumped on the amount of dicks that has been in my career, but I don't get the amount of respect I deserve for the amount of dicks I put out there in the world.

How is Danny? He's a good dude? Yeah, he's the shit. I can see it being like a fun cat. He's awesome. He was just on with Gillis and... Oh, that's right. Their interview was so funny. He was like – like Shane was like, I'm nervous about this.

We don't really do like big interviews. Like four minutes in, they're like, so what else, man? Yeah. They were talking about like taking shits at video games and like jerking off. Yeah, he's like the most normal, regular – Yeah, that's what he said. I mean – and he's just a super funny, nice guy. Like he was on my – he's what – it was – remember Foot Fist Way?

Their movie that, like, kind of blew Danny up. Yeah. And so that was his, like, first, like, lead role in a movie. And he plays, like, this karate instructor. It's really funny. You should watch it. And I remember Anders got – he knew some agent. And this was back when we were doing like YouTube videos

and he comes with the DVD and he was like, we're not going to write sketches tonight. We're going to watch this movie. I've heard it's the shit. And we watched it. And it was the first time I was like, Danny just felt like, like us,

like how me and my friends talk where I'm like, we could do that. Like when Will Ferrell just, since he does like big characters and he was on SNL, it just didn't seem like a bit larger than life. Yeah. Larger than life. But like Danny felt like one of the,

one of the like bros who is just really funny. And you're like, Oh, we can make comedies like that. Great. When you start on YouTube, you started on YouTube, I'm assuming like,

like doing internet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was like, dude, we're so old. Yeah, we're so old. It was like before YouTube. So we were just making videos and like giving them to people.

Like fucking videos? Yeah, just like DVDs and handing them. Like I do stand-up shows. And then afterwards, I'm like handing my sketches to people, being like, if you like it, do this. Not even selling it, just like giving it out like it, this is not even selling it. It's like giving it, giving it. Please, like, please watch this. And then and then YouTube came out and we started putting it on. Was that big for you guys?

Yeah, pretty huge. And that's essentially how Comedy Central found us. And they like it was some it was the executive Walter Newman who went on to Adult Swim. And he, like, plucked us out of obscurity. Were you doing, like, workaholics sketch type shit? Yeah. Or, like, it was those characters? Yeah, it was kind of, like, us being roommates and doing, like, versions of that.

And then, like, you know, insane shit. I think that, you know, it's weird now because the internet is like it used to be like a launch pad kind of yeah and now it's just kind of like you can just do that it's just that yeah you can launch into something else but you could just stay on youtube and uh-huh and and make more money than i ever will yeah you could be mr beast if you could if you could snap your fingers and be one of those YouTube monsters, but you don't have the Hollywood career, would you do that? No.

My dream was always to do this. So I'd have a hard time wrapping my head around thinking of YouTube videos. And I hate giving away cars and houses like MrBeast loves to do. I'm like, just keep it for yourself, dude. Don't give it to the Uber driver. Keep that house to yourself. I wonder if kids now,

because I completely agree, I would take a hometown discount to go to hollywood because that's what i grew up on like that was like the other kids are like but like kids now i wonder if like in 15 years it might be a different answer it was like no like i want to be on youtube um but we're talking about working with danny dude have you we're talking about your your hunk list earlier too like you your comedy list has to be up there with anybody's when you like because the outlaws on netflix that's happy madison right yeah and then you got danny

obviously workaholics as a whole uh efron they like your list of like funny people efron still is too pretty to get credit for as funny as although i think that's kind of like turning a corner he's a funny dude well i think it's almost been long enough where people are like he's really funny for good looking it's like all right we say that all the time let's just call him a funny guy like um but you've worked like i would argue for someone your age like a younger person you have like you've checked the box i'm like everyone it hasn't gone uh bad like you lived in the grand scheme of things it's it's it's it's panning out which is so funny like my family cannot believe it like they still to this day that my dad's like bullshit they're letting you do that okay and like yeah I don't know they are that is the true side he's like alright

bullshit well they're like real movie stars I'm like I know dad I know like you know because you gotta wear makeup and shit as an actor like you have to wear makeup I did a movie with Robert De Niro called The Intern it's such a great movie

I'm not like the lead of it but I'm in the movie and i have multiple scenes with me and deniro and my dad's like deniro he's a real movie star i'm like i know and uh he goes bet he doesn't wear makeup and i'm like yeah dad he actually wears more makeup he's older he's older he's like no no he. And he's like, you're probably the only one. I'm like, that's not. Like you go to work being like, give me the makeup. Yeah, like I only got into the business for makeup specific reasons.

That's the most dad shit ever that like their heroes were men. Yeah. It's like, oh, De Niro. You think John Wayne wore makeup? Like, yeah, probably. Yeah, for sure. A lot of it. My dad will get going about, like, musicians today.

He'll be like, I don't even know what they're wearing. I'm like, dude, you like the Rolling Stones and David Bowie. What are you talking about? It's like when men were men. Cut to David Bowie as Ziggy Stardust With like stars cut out His nipples are showing He's wearing a fucking belly That's a man

That's a real man That's when men made music back then That is I bet he doesn't wear makeup A true sign of like You're People are always like he's down to earth or he's a regular guy or whatever. If you have family that like doesn't believe you're talented, dude, that's how you know.

When I told my dad – so Pitch Perfect was – we just talked about it. It was like a big deal for me. First studio movie that I'm going to be one of the leads of. Like it's a big deal. And I tell my dad and he's like, Pitch Perfect, baseball movie, nice. And I'm like, not a baseball. I wish it was a big deal and i tell my dad and he's like bitch perfect baseball movie nice and i'm like not a baseball i wish it was a baseball movie it'd be an easier yes for me but uh it's a singing movie and it was silent and i'm like dad i thought you saw a speakerphone i'm like did he did i cut out he goes singing movie and i'm like yeah and he goes well you goes, singing movie. And I'm like, yeah. And he goes, well, you can't sing.

We're shit. And I'm like, I'm an okay singer. I'm a good singer. And he's like, no, you're not. You fucking suck. And I'm like, dad, I don't. I'm like a pretty good singer. And he goes, bullshit, sing for me.

And I'm like, I'm not singing for you. I can sing. Like, I'm just, I can sing. And he goes, well, I can't sing. And I go, I know. You're not as talented as me. I'm way more talented than you. I can sing. Like, I'm just, I can sing. And he goes, well, I can't sing. And I go, I know. You're not as talented as me. I'm way more talented than you. And he goes, well, I'm a better baseball player. And I'm like,

it's not a baseball movie. It's a singing movie. It's nothing to do with baseball. Yes, you were a better baseball player than me. I was hit by a cement truck. I couldn't go down that path. I was crippled.

Remember when I couldn't walk for two years? It wasn't exactly a stunt on the diamond, Dad. Sorry, Dad. I couldn't leave the house. Maybe you shouldn't let your kids play in the streets. I could have went pro. You know his friends are going to tell him to watch this. He won't be able to figure it out.

He'll be like, son of a, the internet won't let me watch this. If it's not on Facebook, I don't know how to watch it. That is so funny. Also, to speak to your singing, there was a scene, I forget when it was, because I'd rewatched some of gemstones recently so i forget if it's the end of season two or start of season three but you're singing and i was like nah it's dubbed like it was she's got the pipe it was i forget you're laying down on stage and it came in so like i remember vividly i was like god damn adam's

singing right now uh yeah i don't know you like did you uh sing growing up like like uh i don't even know like like choirs or choir no dude and actually you can just do that i could just do it and i knew because i grew up at a very midwestern school where like it was like it was like uh omaha nebraska so like it was like an 80s movie where like the jocks are cool. They're like burnouts were burnout. And it was like, you know, and it was like a John Hughes movie or some shit. And so I was already doing drama and I knew that that I'm like, I want girls to like me, you know, I gotta be one foot in one foot out of this, this shit. And so like the, the choir director, cause you had to sing in choir for like one of the,

it's like part of like you do gym and then you do choir for like half the semester or whatever. And so the choir director was always like, we really want you in swing choir. Like they were trying to recruit me into swing choir and I'm like – It's good. You know what? I'm like, I can't. Thank you. I appreciate it. I'm flattered.

I'm already doing the drama stuff. Like I can't do both it's so funny though it's like in hindsight i'm like i could have just done both that's what i mean like i feel like it's probably i hope it's changed a little bit like i grew up in the same era where it's like sports you know yeah yeah yeah whereas like now i'm like i think singing and acting is like the coolest shit in the fucking world yeah Someone who can do that is highly talented. My wife went to high school in California. She was like,

oh, the swing choir, those were the fucking cool kids in my school. I'm like, it was so the opposite of that. 80s, 90s, Omaha, Nebraska? No. No, 90s in Omaha, it was a much different thing.

Our school was, they weren't necessarily the cool kids. Because I went to a very small school, so everyone kind of intermixed. Except for the theater kids. And it was just, they were the mean kids. They would only sit there at lunch table. They wouldn't hang out. So everyone kind of feared them. They weren't cool.

It would make them cool. They weren't cooler than me. They also might wear trench coats or something. Make sure you're friends with them. They write Columbine on their notebooks or something. We got to stay away. Stay clear from these kids. I always remember in 30 Rock,

there's an episode where they go back to Tina Fey's high school reunion. And it's a great episode. Jack Donaghy pretends to be a guy. It's awesome. But the whole school, Tina Fey's going back being like, they all hated me. They were all like, I was a loser. And the whole school's like, no, you were incredibly mean. And they're doing flashbacks to her mumbling about people's moms dying of cancer and stuff like that.

And that's how the theater kids were at our school. they were like the mean kids who you were just scared of yeah i feel like it was like i feel like it was probably more accepting than i'm even like telling yeah in your own head yeah but i'm like there was a kid that just wore a cape so like you know so it was like come on man help me help you bro it was like for sure that you're like well if you just took the cape off it would help all of us right like that guy would probably have like 10 million or or we all have to wear capes one of these things is a lot easier everyone has to buy a cape or you just or you just take that off and Or we all have to get capes. In hindsight, cool look. I know you've, I mean, I'm sure you've talked about it a million times, but you brought up the cement truck thing.

And it's just, any, it's one. I won't shut up about it. You shouldn't. It's a real talking point. I won't shut up about it. Because it, when you, this is a terrible thing to say, but getting to tell other people for the first time oh yeah that is amazing whenever you're watching a movie or someone's like oh i love that movie i'm like you know i don't think i was wrecked wrecked by a cement truck yeah and they're like what no way

yet look it up boom ran over fun fun knowledge yeah it was a good it was a good excuse in high school because i probably because i was a good excuse in high school because I probably, because I was a good little kid baseball player, right? But probably wouldn't have been that good. Now that it's all potential. So then after that, it would have been like, you know I would have been the star shortstop.

God damn knees! You have that unscratched lottery ticket. Yeah, totally. I wasn't fourth grade all-star but uh yeah did i hit two home runs in fourth grade yeah i did but uh they're like with the short fence yeah the show went over it went over it went over everybody had the short that that that could have been your you know your villain origin story

and instead it could have been yeah i mean i truly though i it was actually your you know your villain origin story and instead it could have been yeah i mean i truly though i it was actually like you know it sucks because i i still have to deal with health issues from it and like there's like weird shit that happens with my body because everything's a little off but uh i wouldn't trade it in because like uh wait wait for real i for real wouldn't because I wouldn't be talking with you guys at Barstool. Voting the Outlaws on Netflix. July 7th. That should be top of mind.

But yeah, no, like really because like super blue collar family no one, like going to college is like a look at him go! So to like move to Hollywood to pursue a career in acting wouldn't have been. But do you think that was because of that? Like, I mean.

After, yeah, my parents told me they were like, yeah, it's because you got hit by the damn cement truck that we were like, hey, he didn't die. Yeah, go follow your dreams. We owe him one. We owe him one. Yeah, for sure. We let him play in the streets holy shit i was gonna say what's the correlation but yeah i mean yeah i think it was pretty really yeah because like we didn't know anyone and we didn't know anyone west of omaha so like to move to california and which was like the first time any of us had been there where it was like I saw a girl smoking a joint

sunbathing topless the day I signed my lease when I was 18 years old I'm like this is the greatest place and by the way I've never seen that since I was like is she just there welcoming like 18 year old boys it was like the apartment

complex hired this woman to just whip her tits out and smoke a joint. This is normal here. You see this every day, kid. So Kumail Nanjiani talks about the first time he came to America was the Macy's Day Parade. And he's like, it's just like the movies. It's crazy. Dude, I did the Macy's Day.

Well, sorry to interrupt, but you went out on a whim at 18? Or did you have a role? Or did you get a little something at home? No, and I wasn't like – I'm going to go be a movie star. You hear how like Ashton Kutcher was like spotted in a mall and they're like, you have to be a star. And then like his first audition was for that 70s show and they're like, I'm not that good looking. Like it took me a long time to like find my way. And I just moved here. I moved to California and met Blake and Kyle Newichek, who we created Workaholics with, like day one at community college.

Wow. In improv class. And I was like the guy with the little afro was like really funny. So I started chopping it up with him. Honestly, that's one of those stories in its own right. Day one of community college, you meet these two guys. That's as lucky as him in a fucking mall you know what i mean yeah yeah for sure like and it was like we say that all the time about each other we're like the reason we made it is because we had each other and like you were always pushing that person except for blake

who was like don't do these movies well yeah but uh but it was like actively going like well he's writing that thing so i'm gonna write this thing and like you're constantly making each other you know was it ever was it did ever get competitive though like in a in a like a toxic way where it was uh was there any they might hate me i'm wearing all white uh i got the rolly i'm wearing all white it I got the rollie on. I'm wearing all white. Why didn't you just say no to the all white? It clearly is. At the end of the day, it's not going to bother you right now.

No, no, I don't think so. They're like, those guys are like my brothers, and you just want them to win. And none of us have gotten like that. Right. I feel like if one of us left you in the dust or something like that. If like Ders is like i feel like if one of us left you in the dust if like dirs is like brad pitt level fucking famous and we're like well fucking put us in some god damn thing right right right um so the uh doing the outlaws you you are doing like action scenes and stuff

right yeah yeah is that uh something you think you can can you be like an action star? Matt Damon has to get old sometimes. And I'm like fat him. I'm the comedy. I'm like Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg. Smush them together, add 40 pounds. I'm that guy. Yeah, dude.

That's like my favorite comedies are like action comedies. Yeah. You know, like Lethal Weapon and 48 Hours and all those are my favorite. So, yeah, that would be the goal. I mean, I do feel like the sky's the limit these days. Like once you get in, if you have the talent and kind of like the work. Like I think back in the day, it used to be like you had to look a certain way and talk a certain way and have an accent or whatever. And now I don't think that's really the case.

And I think any, you know, you could be as long as you're talented enough and like, you know, know the right people, do the right, do it the right way. I feel like that's like attainable. Well, yeah, I mean, and Netflix has been like really cool. They've always been very supportive. They've let us make them. I mean, they let us make Game Over over man which was like an insane movie like in hindsight looking back at it i'm like that was fucking insane like i sliced a man's face off in a meat slicer like my multiple dicks were cut off like my dick was out for like several minutes in the movie and they like let us

do it and then like uh you run out of a closet with your dick out? Yeah. Yeah, that's the one. Well, the bit is that like the hotel's getting taken over by terrorists and they're like, we're sort of trapped in this room and I whip my,

we're like, what do we do? We got to hide. And I whip my belt off and I'm like, I got an idea. And I go, and you're like, what? And then these two guys come in and they're like looking around and then they open up the closet and it's me i auto erotic asphyxiated myself and i'm hanging there in the closet as if i'm dead with my dick in my hand dude i figured i knew it was great yeah insane you do that yeah yeah yeah and it's like

my actual cock in my hand. And it was before, it was like right before intimacy coordinators. I was going to say, you must have snuck that in under the wire.

Yeah, it was right before it became like a whole thing. And then I like go to Video Village. It was supposed to be like a closed, I don't give a shit, but it was like a closed,

you know, closed set, closed set, man's dick is good to be out. And then I go out there. It's like our transpo captain is standing there being like, crazy shit, man. It's like 25 people just eating craft services around the monitor

as my dick's fucking... You don't care about that? It doesn't bother you? You're just like, whatever. I wish. I don't wish. But it bothers me so little. It weirds me out that it bothers some people.

Nuiček, who's our director, was like, dude, are you sure you want to have your dick out? I'm like, yes. Who cares? My dick. And I think my butthole's out in it, too. Like, I get hit, and my legs go up over my head, and I'm butt ass naked.

Bro, butthole is crazy. Dick out is one thing. Hole out is another, dude. Well, I didn't like spread my teeth. I wasn't like a close up on my asshole. It was a closed asshole. I very recently on this show made a promise that you'll never see my butthole.

I'm going to stick with it, but you can't make the same promise. Then you're not going to make movie magic like Adam did. You won't have a number one movie on Netflix for two weeks in a row like we did with Game Over Man. Sorry about it. Fuck, you're funny're funny oh god damn it

did you ever do you said you did early on were you doing stand up you said yeah yeah yeah I did I have a Netflix special

oh yeah yeah that's right it came out in like 18 or 19 but I haven't I haven't been doing it I just got so busy with like acting work

and I always I always said like I'm never gonna stop it. I just got so busy with acting work. I always said, I'm never going to stop. And then you get so busy with acting work. And then they're like, you should go do a spot. And you're like, fuck off. I've been working all goddamn week. I'm not going to go to do 10 minutes at the comedy store. And that's one of those things that's like, if you're going to do it, you should do it.

Do it. Really do it. Because what are you getting out of just half-assing half-assing crowd hates it you hate it but then like other people like older like um uh chris tucker told me he was like never stop doing it that's how you keep your finger on the pulse of like what's funny because like once you start to make like yeah you know who knows if i'm ever gonna make chris tucker money because he made like $50 million on like the second Rush Hour movie.

But he was like, you will lose. I can understand that for certain people. I think the dude who's going to auto-erotic asphyxiate himself and show his asshole is not. But look at me now. I'm wearing all white. All white.

Yeah, so I am changing. I'm wearing all white. All white. All white. Yeah, so I am changing. I'm wearing creams and whites. I don't think you have to worry about. Yeah. I don't know how or why. I've talked to a bajillion people in this industry, and it just seems like some of them are cool. Yeah. And some of them are cooler than others.

Well, it's like anything. It's like our of them are cool. Yeah. And some of them are cooler than others. Well, it's like anything. It's like any – like our industry isn't special. Right. There's assholes. I mean it's just like more people like go get you coffee and like kiss your ass. But like – But I can see where like you do start to get success. You take certain things for granted and certain things become normal to you and you do lose your pulse and whatever well but

then there are people who just like you i you i think you could become like brad pitt and you just still would be like that funny dude who got hit by a cement drop well for sure but uh but i mean i have changed i like look at like coach when i'm flying i'm like i can't imagine. We all do that. That's different than like I'm no longer – you could walk into a party, a bar, a room, a fucking whatever and just like do it. Yeah, do you guys do – because you guys are probably going through like a similar thing that we went through like the first few seasons of Workaholics where like bros are just like, what? Fuck! workaholics where like like bros are just like what yeah the i always tell people like uh within our bubble it's like seriously famous you know so it's like we can walk into 99 of the rooms we walk into nobody's gonna know but the one percent will walk in we will be treated like fucking drops and it's like and then people who who don't get it are like what the fuck is going on that was workaholics like we didn't even know it was

like season one came out and then in la people don't really care because they see like everybody everybody all the time so you're they're like oh yeah fucking comedy central kid all right here's your coffee well you know uh but then we went to Bonnaroo that year and they were like, security was like what are you guys on? That kind of stuff. Meanwhile, thousands

they tore the fence down to get back in the comedy. It's just thousands of kids like time bottle! It was like the zombie apocalypse of kids on fucking Molly and Mushrooms. Like, ah! Yeah, that and also just the fact that it's always dudes. I was like, if I was gay, we would have –

Oh, yeah. Clean up. Yeah, close shot. It was never a girl. Yeah. Now it's getting a little bit better with that, but there was a time where – The worst would be like a guy is like can i get a picture and then you turn to the girlfriend or the just the girl there and say do you do you want one too and they're like no i'm yeah i'm good i don't know

who you are yeah yeah i'll spit on you the best one i ever had is is uh i was at a bruins islanders hockey game on long island and this is back when they're at the coliseum so there's like two bathrooms bathroom lines are crazy and i'm in the bathroom line for the entire in between the second and third period and like probably like five ten like dudes come take a picture of me and with me i don't know if i said of me with me and finally the guy like just like a long island probably a cop finally turns around big bud light, just goes, who the fuck are you, Ed Sheeran? And then burps in my face. I was like, all right. What's cool is that guy knows Ed Sheeran.

Yeah. The guy who's going to sell out the highest number in five years. Yeah, killer pull. He's like, I'm actually a big fan of Ed. Speaking out loud really does touch my soul. His acoustic set. Kind of a bit of a pull on Marvin Gaye, if you ask me.

His acoustic set at iHeart last year really took you to a place. Anyways, fuck you. Oh, man. Well, it's great, dude. It's fun watching one of the good guys get a full career and a lot of success in all different things.

You were one of our first real interviews. I don't even know if you remember. It was you and the guys at Sirius back in the day. Yeah, because I followed the show, and then follow you uh when you do your like rants yeah you're like what is it one minute uh and i was like have we ever done anything and my manager just reminded i think it was like it was like way back it was like way back we didn't know how to interview i don't even want to listen to that back i'm sure it's terrible i i literally think you're our second ever interview like the three of you like i think we did Nikolai Koster-Waldau. He's Jamie Lannister from Game of Thrones.

Oh, right. Which is pretty cool. He's like a real actor. He was on our show promoting Game of Thrones first ever guest. Oh, really? Like, first of all,

they probably need to vote. Do you guys ride horses on the show? It's like, how heavy are those swords? I think we had like 37 seconds with him and it was just us berating him for being too pretty oh yeah you're hot fuck that get me out of here dude

this sucks i know i was like uh we did we used to do we used to not be discerning with the amount of inner because it's like take them all one knew who yeah we're like we just got to get out of there and yeah and i'll like every once in And I'll like, every once in a while, someone will send me like an old interview, and I'm like, we were interviewed in like an alleyway. I'm like, where was this interview being conducted? There's no studio or anything. I wasn't even wearing a wife. Was I even an actor at that point?

I was wearing a G-Shock watch? Dude! This interview is for sure going to be called All Whites. Alright, man. So The Outlaws is on Netflix July 7th. That's right. Righteous Gemstones, the comedy special. Anything else?

Jesus Christ. This is important. This is an important podcast. podcast yeah check it out yeah i i for people that love uh you can do the podcasting just don't sponsor it don't make any money off it yeah we're going to we're real yeah we're greedy we need more you motherfuckers you gotta make more money for that than you do in hollywood uh and then i for people that like pitch perfect I'm doing a show called Bumper in Berlin. And the first season came out. It's on Peacock.

Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. So it's like my character moves to Berlin to like resurrect his singing career. It's pretty fun. It's insane. I like lived in Germany last year for like – Did you really? Yeah. As a diehard Troublemaker fan, I'm disappointed in myself. singing career. It's pretty fun. It's insane. I lived in Germany last year for like four years. As a diehard Troublemaker fan, I'm

disappointed in myself. So you were in Germany shooting that? Yeah, I lived in Berlin at the Silwhaus in Berlin for like four months. It was awesome. And I weirdly took German in high school, so I knew how to say that.

That's kind of like a red flag. I just read Mein Kampf. You want to read it in its original text. You go from history class to fucking German class? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I close my eyes and I'm like, really interesting. I have to talk to these guys.

I don't know why I chose it. I literally think I honestly don't know why. It was eighth grade and you have to take Spanish, French, German, and I think that's it. And to figure out what class you want to take in high school. Oh, you try out all three of them? We tried out – you do like – Yeah. And German was the option.

There must be like a bunch of German people in Omaha or some shit. I don't know. I don't know. So there was a magazine that the teacher passed around and there was like paper clipped shut. I'm like, what the fuck is on paper? And it was just like naked women. Hell yeah. Because Germany is cool like that.

It's like naked people selling jewelry and it's just like a naked woman with a bracelet. And I'm like, I got to be part of this culture. And that's why my horny little like eighth grade brain was like, I'm studying German. Ich spreche sie Deutsch. Yeah. So I got to, it was a,

Berlin is a really funny place. You got to go there. It's like, it's what you think. It's like regular. Well, it's fun shooting a show there. Cause you just meet like a grip,

like a guy who's like running cables and setting up lights. And he's just like a normal dude, but he speaks German. And then you also see the guys that are like look like Neo from the fucking Matrix. It's like buying milk. And you're like, that guy's just out in the streets like that? And you'd see they have these like crazy like clubs that like people piss on each other like legitimately. They get wild. And people are like

like we me and my wife were going to dinner and it's like a nice restaurant and they're like yeah the clubs open back up because it was covid you know yeah and they just open back up oh you have to go they're so fun the piss parties and then they go okay your table's ready. What? It was the piss party. Like, just the hostess will just say that? Yeah. Oh, the table's ready. And we're like, what the fuck are the piss parties? Yeah, so. Did you go to one?

I thought you said soju. You didn't go to one. That is. I mean, I'm assuming. I was like, season two. We're going to the piss party. Bumpers. But, yeah, so.

That is. And at the restaurant, there's's like they eat dinner at like midnight because they go to the club at like one and then they stay there all all night and uh you just see a man like in like snm gear with his like nipples pierced and like a chain connecting them and then the chain that goes down here they're like and uh he's just eating rotisserie chicken. Just eating a rotisserie chicken just covered in grease like wearing assless chaps like at a barstool and you're just like

It's tight. It's tight. Bumper in Berlin. Alright brother, thank you. Awesome guys, thanks for having me. The Piss Martins. all right brother thank you thank you សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.