KFC Radio - Josh Gad || Chris Broussard Uses One of the Top 11 Worst Words to Use Live on Air - Full Interview
Episode Date: November 2, 2023Timecodes: 01:32 John won the halloween costume contest as Lil Kim 10:47 Chris Broussard drops the R word live on air 10:58 Chris Broussard: https://twitter.com/awfulannouncing/status/17194441...67569580219 27:50 Jenna Haze 27:55 Jenna Haze rt: https://twitter.com/jennahaze/status/1719449787320455331 31:02 Owen got pick pocketed 38:03 Birth control is underselling themselves 48:36 Joe Rogan and elon musk shooting an arrow into Tesla truck 49:03 Joe rogan Elon clip: Joe Rogan and elon musk shooting an arrow into Tesla truck 51:54 self driving cars 54:57 Video Voicemails 01:27:26 Josh Gad Interview Preview ++++++++++++++++++++++ Stacker2 Energy: Go to https://Stacker2.com/Barstool-sports for your Barstool Bite Back Special. Get $5 bucks off your purchase OR $5 bucks worth of free product. BodyArmor: Available in stores nationwide but you can head on over to the BODYARMOR Store on Amazon at https://barstool.link/BODYARMOR & get yours today! Bowlero: Visit a Bowlero near you and take advantage of UNLIMITED BOWLING Monday THROUGH Friday night. Head on over to Bowlero.com and find a place near you.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr
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That was graphic.
This show is.
This is a good one, bro.
We've been doing this show so long that, you know, the show is what it is.
But every now and then we get one of these, I'm like, this podcast is awesome.
Number one. We should be number one.
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barstool.
It's another edition of KC radio on the barstool sports network.
I'm sitting next to my cohost, Sean Feidelberg, my esteemed colleague.
Got a lot of great accolades to his name here at Barstool Sports,
but you can add one more to the resume.
Maybe your biggest accomplishment yet.
2023 and first ever Barstool Sports Halloween contest champion.
Everyone's always called me the heidi clima
barstool checks out we awarded him with the big check and i said yesterday i said it last time
on the podcast that the prize was going to be 250 and lo and behold it's 250 and i don't know
if people heard that and then did that to be funny or if I
just nailed it,
but no,
like nobody came to me and said anything about $250.
And the fact that they actually made it $250 is so disgusting.
I hate this place.
So God damn much like,
well,
Kevin,
God damn it.
God damn it.
Cause I'm not going to get that.
I'm getting that big check and that's it i will
get zero you'll get you should probably get like minimum of g minimum a thousand bucks probably
for like the badillion dollar company that we work for make it like 2500 bucks make it fun let's do it
250 that i won't get that you will again zero dollars like i $0. I said that at the award ceremony.
I was like, I'm never going to get this.
And everyone laughed knowingly.
Not laugh like, that's a funny joke.
He's funny because he's accurate.
I'm never going to get it.
And it's not a big enough number for me to care about anyway.
So it's just, I dressed like Lil' Kim for no reason.
And you know what's really annoying?
No, no, no. I went into it knowing I'm dressing like Lil' Kim for no reason. And you know what's really annoying? Well, I went into it knowing I'm dressing like Lil' Kim for no reason.
But let me just say something first.
If they're going to do that, they should have done like a Dunder Mifflin.
Like they should have made it a weird number.
Yeah, it should have been like $211, $210 for the winner of the game.
Second of all, you did not dress as Lil' Kim for no reason.
You dressed as Lil' kim in the vmas
for glory yeah yeah that's i i that's the prize keeg sent an email she's like i'd appreciate it
if everyone dressed up and i was like all right as the president i will listen to the president
i'm gonna dress up i'm gonna try this and i just randomly thought of it i was like little kim's
funny we talk about her a lot we do it all the time i had the cum belly and everything no one asked about that um i i i didn't want to go full
blown kfc radio on it but i was on the judges panel and i wanted to be like what's in your
stomach right now come nothing but come dude come come out of my ears it is truly genuinely i mean this i'm trying to think of my experience my halloween experiences
my costumes my friends costumes parties that we threw that we threw uh other contests i think
it's the greatest halloween performance i've ever seen really i mean it's a fucking unbelievable selection like and if you just like cobbled
it together it would have been funny but you also fucking nailed it yeah which is not an easy thing
to nail it's a it's a purple half shoulder onesie thing know, it took me 10 minutes. That scares me.
Here's the wig.
The wig.
Is this yours?
Is this Joey Kamasta?
No, I bought all of it.
So this wig is this is like, you know, this is for some kinky shit.
There are some weirdos out there popping.
Yeah, but I bought it at the sex shop.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm going to say this is not really everything was bought as a sex shop yeah this is just like let's role play i want to pretend you're someone that you're not for a change and
fuck you i want to pretend you're a child's cartoon character yeah right this is some anime
shit this is some weird japanimation shit i'm out on that uh so you got the wig you got the wig. You got the hand-sticky onesie pasties.
Yep.
Where is this from?
Sex shop.
Sex shop.
Okay.
Is that because of this?
I went to two separate sex shops, but everything's from a sex shop.
And then you had this purple onesie thing.
The curvy queen.
Again, sex shop.
Sex shop.
It's like a lace.
That was one of the issues with the – I had asked Jackie to bring in boob tapeob tape she forgot and then we tried we got some downstairs it didn't really work i had
to close my vagina and it like you're using boob tape on your pussy like the i think this stuff's
around here like this lace thing has it's actually very difficult to put on because it has a head
hole in both ends the one it's a body suit but it's got a head hole in both ends because there's
a head hole for your pussy and ass you've seen so it's got a head hole in both ends because there's a head hole for your pussy and ass.
You've seen these things. So it's not a head hole.
It's a pussy hole. But it's the size
of a head hole. Is it actually
reversible? No. No.
Because it has the shoulder. No, because the feet
are closed off.
Okay, got it.
Did that
silver thing come with it?
No, I bought them separately because i knew
it was purple with some silver undertones so
yo there has been some gay stuff in halloween costumes john knowing that he needed silver
undertones for his little kim costume is the gayest thing of all time i also knew i couldn't
just show up here with my fucking pussy out like you keep saying my pussy it's just an egg yeah yeah
that's so that's how you can get fucked while you're wearing yes exactly now there's one last
piece of the costume john you went to a sex shop for everything yeah and then you just went to your
closet for the boots yeah i i don't talk to me about the boots i really don't know where i think
i think my cousin lived with me last hallow Oh, it's your cousin's fault, huh?
And I think he – if they were mine, I'd obviously say.
I think he wore them for Halloween.
Pat, you were just having a meeting with Owen, and I saw those.
And I don't know why I didn't – the boots were very funny because you were clip-clopping around.
I was like, who's up next?
And it was dead silent, and you should be like –
And it's John with his Christmas commercial.
Yes.
But so I don't know why I didn't think about it in the moment.
But when I came in here, I saw those and I saw how big they were.
And I was like, these have got to be a Joey Kamasta special.
Right.
And Paz goes, I remember my cousin.
Again, he lived with me last year and he he definitely
dressed up and he had a bunch of friends dressed up and like a couple crashed sure sure and then
those my girlfriend from canada around after and like and then we use those are huge no they're
like they're like my size no that's what i mean though like scenes like those are usually girl
shoes so you're being small you see the big it's a that's a lot of glitter on your feet man dude and then we like i i think they were just around and we put them on display in
our gay sketch like oh and put them like in the corner of the room like that's great on my on like
the side of my couch and they just stayed there from that gay sketch until yesterday amazing i
mean there was some good ones you go you can go watch the video i'm
hoping it's out by now if they didn't turn this one around quickly we're the worst company the
worst company on the planet earth um vibs mcmahon was really great on on uh in in hindsight i was
a judge it's hard to judge these things because like the first few people go and and you don't
really know how much better or worse it's going to get. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? So watching everybody else's energy level and watching Vibs perform,
I should have given him like a fucking nine and a half
because he was the one who like brought the fucking heat
doing a Vince McMahon impression.
Gaz was just a squid, which was funny.
Gaz was a judge for some reason.
And he was a squid. I have an idea why Gaz is a Halloween, which was funny. Gaz was a judge for some reason. And he was a squid.
I have an idea why Gaz is a Halloween costume judge.
He's got a pretty good history.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He tried to convince Gia that it would have been a good idea to get naked.
That was like he just misremembered.
Totally.
He thought she was a nun.
I also just didn't remember that she was
naked either so when he said if she came in doing shame i was like that would have been a good idea
but because people associate the shame with the gif now so i think people just assume that's her
like she's the nun with the bell right right right right there's some yeah there's some
conflation going on there but but gia was like uh yeah she was naked during that so i don't think
i'm gonna do that
i was like guys that's that's the second worst thing you've ever done on halloween
um there were some good ones it was a funny uh it was a funny costume contest so go check it out
part of our you know barcelona new york series of just trying to churn out original content with
everybody in the office that uh we did the only fans pageant we did the election
um we've done some good stuff so that added to the list of barcelona new york productions that
are going well um 250 dollars 250 dollars 250 dollars what do you think the costume cost
probably like 250 dollars about 250 yeah but you're gonna but you're so you would break even
but you're gonna be 250 in the hole
yeah yeah so that's almost a 500 swing yeah yeah thanks man happy to be here
oh brother i've seen a lot of things in my day i've laughed hard on the internet
laughed hard at at the media but chris broussard
dude he said that so confidently casually said that shit with his chest and did not stutter
to the point that i thought like he just was like did it on purpose like i'm doing
it i like like there was no like he just said is that man retarded and and then then he did
realize what he did but the the first was so like smooth with it that i was like did he think he was
working here did he think he was with his buddies and that that if you were to make
an out-of-board sketch sketch i i don't think you could top that because kevin wilde's going
while the camera was was cued in on him was fucking hilarious uh and then nick wright trying
to be like you can't use that word but but like just trying to help him by like continuing the argument.
Yeah, you can't do that.
But James Harden, by the way.
And then the let's call it apology slash explanation.
All of it.
Unbelievable.
My first cousin.
I love that he specifies first.
As if like second cousin might make it better or worse like
come on it's only second cousin you can't call him retarded but your first cousin you can do it
and then his first cousin died recently a month ago and i swear to god i swear to god
chris broussard was about to say he put him to sleep he put him down a hundred percent put him
put him to put him to rest we i mean he he was this close to saying, my first cousin is retarded and we put him down.
Like he's a Kennedy or something.
It's fucking funny.
I mean, like, in no part of that explanation apology, is there a reason why that means you would say retarded on
the air you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah like if he if he's if he said like my cousin has down
syndrome and i i know this isn't you know widely accepted but he gave me a pass yeah but like i
don't know if there was if there was something like i know this isn't widely accepted but in
my family like we use that word or like just something that would be why you said it.
It's like, oh, my first cousin has Down syndrome, so I say that word a lot.
It's like if anything, you would think it would be the opposite, right?
Well, the – first of all, as a mentally challenged person, I would like to be the first to forgive Chris Broussard and say it's okay.
I don't care that you used my word um but the the i i i once had it was not a
first cousin maybe i think it's an uncle this is my uncle yeah uh who was mentally challenged
and i also took that as a pass i was, dude. I got a retarded uncle.
So I get it, Chris.
I get it.
I mean, by the way, I think mentally disabled is bad.
I think the same thing.
When people say colored people and when they say blacks, I'm like, oh, those sound worse to me.
Being like your brain is disabled like it is just fucking broken completely
i don't know what the you know what the term is but uh it ain't that one and it was funny because
i made i did one minute man and i said like it's indefensible it's unprofessional and i mean that
for this but like i i said retarded on Barstool Radio that day.
Someone was like, really?
You're going to say this?
Like, don't get me wrong.
He was on Barstool Radio and said the Clippers are retarded for this.
I'd be like, yeah.
But you can't do this on ESPN.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The suit and tie.
And we shouldn't be doing it either on this.
None of it's nice or good or right. I'm not saying it's, like, cool. But it either on this but you know none of it's nice or good or right i'm
not i'm not saying it's like cool but it's also just you know i do i i give broussard a pass
and and i don't have well good everybody's handing out passes but he's like we're like no i know
somebody like i'm like yeah and i'm right yeah he's got it bro that when people say like it's
like a big joke,
when people are like, I'm not racist, I have black friends.
I'm like, well, that's pretty good.
Dude, I don't know why that's become such a trope.
It's like, dude, I have a bunch of them that like me.
You know those people you were saying I hate?
I don't.
I'm friends with many of them.
And that's my proof that I don't hate them.
I like them and they like me back.
Nope, not good enough.
I never got where that became a thing.
Yeah, every time I hear it, I'm like,
that's pretty solid evidence.
If I was in a jury,
I'm tough to convict.
I'd be like, everyone's up here saying he's a good guy.
I don't know.
Listen, if you were on trial for some sort of racial,
I don't know, crime, and you trotted a few several black people out being like i like him i'd be like let them decide he's always very nice but i don't know it's pretty good evidence
jury of his peers jury of his black people so he's fine uh it's not a real. Who am I to judge? Yeah, I can't. I work in barstool sports, dude.
It's not like a story that excuses it, but it absolutely does make a difference.
You're right.
Like the fact that like if he was just like, I don't know, that word just slipped out.
I'd be like, well, I don't know, man.
That's not great.
But he's like, oh, you got one of those?
And you know what it's like?
It's like if fucking – it's like Andrew Schultz is an example.
When Schultz is over in the Middle East all dressed up in whatever their traditional garb is, I'm like, damn, that looks cool.
If you did that, I'd be like, that is so fucking racist.
But Schultz has got a lot of boys and shit like that.
Schultz has got a lot of boys in the like that. Schultz has got a lot of boys in the Middle East.
He's friends with everyone over there.
They say it's okay, so whatever, man.
Schultz has a bunch of boys in the Middle East.
Bro, Schultz is over in Dubai all the time.
Yeah, I mean, it's just different.
It's different strokes for different folks.
You know what I mean? So I hope.
I think he'll be all right.
But there is a world where this could spiral for Broussard.
I don't know what the back.
What do you mean?
Nah.
What do you mean?
Broussard has dodged way bigger bullets than this.
Broussard's an idiot. But he hasn not, like, he hasn't done anything bad.
He's just a moron.
Yeah.
But that's different than, like, saying something that, like, you're not allowed to say anymore.
Is he just, like, going about his business now?
He's just tweeting about James Harden.
I don't think this is going to be a blip on the radar.
Wow.
That's a good sign.
That's a great sign.
That's huge i think that's that shows
we're finally you know people like to kind of like declare uh eras of like you know the media
and like the and the and pop culture and stuff like we're in the woke era and the woke era is
over and like those two things have been declared happening and not and over like multiple times
when i don't think either
of them were correct but i i think this would be the first the first time that is so funny man i
might put that on a shirt uh you know being it that's one of the words it's it's the r word the
f word and the n word and and there's there's levels to this shit r word i think is you know
the the third place the bronze medal.
I don't even think it medals.
I mean, it does because it's a word.
It's an R-word.
It's a word.
If you have a letter word, it's a word.
You're in more trouble if you say the C-word.
Cunt?
Or the other one.
Or the other one.
I don't think...
Well, okay. Yeah, I'll give you that. I don't think it Okay. Yeah, I'll give you that.
I don't think it medals.
It's obviously a word that people frown upon,
but I don't think it's a word that medals.
The C word probably edges it,
but then it's on the Mount Rushmore. It's four.
Probably.
I mean, anything
racial, C word, S word,
anything where you're Yeah, no, dude, this isn't even top ten.
If we're breaking down, if we're going, okay, how about the K word?
You're right.
Anything racial or in that case.
What about the G word?
What's the G word?
For Asian people.
Oh.
I mean, we saw what happened with shane with the g with with with with asian
stuff there i think if you were to break down the slurs i bet it's not a top 10 swear
the man just keep going we're at six yeah yeah yeah i said that i i put s word and k word
in there so taking out the r word that would be s k fC-C. Cunt is not.
That's like a.
If he said cunt on that show, he's in more trouble right now, for sure.
I think he's in trouble with, like, the FCC.
Like, you get, like, fined or whatever.
But I don't think you get blowback.
There's nobody going, we're cunts and you can't say that.
Dude, if he was like, I can't believe the Clippers trade for James Harden,
that dude's a fucking cunt.
I don't know about that one,
but for the sake of trying to get to 10,
C word.
Seven.
W.
What's W?
What's W?
Do you really not know?
No, I do, but I'm not going to say it.
What color? Mexicans? Mexicans are... Oh, yeah. you do you really not know no i do but i'm not gonna say it what what what color mexicans
mexicans are are oh yeah i think that one is not it's not nice but it's that's some california
shit that might be um that's some i spent some time in la
i spent some time at a private school in L.A.
That's what I thought she meant.
That's really funny.
That's very regional.
Border problem?
What border problem?
I'm from Massachusetts.
Yeah, dude, there's... It might be 10 it might i was gonna say
can we get one more to make sure it's outside the top 10 i would love that i would love to be like
what are you guys complaining about this is the 11th worst word in our in our slang
perhaps just has slur website i don't know what this is. Oh, something for them?
There's got to be something for them. I don't think so.
Like Redskins
or something like that.
Yeah, but that obviously isn't that
bad because it was a team. What about
something for the
other ones of those guys?
I don't know
any slurs for Indian people.
Little people?
I mean, no.
The R word's
worse than midget.
Retard is worse than midget. We can give you that, right?
I would say yes.
This episode is...
It's going... It's peaks and valleys.
Sometimes it's really funny.
Sometimes it's just like, this is so fucked up.
It's a rollercoaster.
How about the F word for chicks?
The word.
Oh.
Would he be more in trouble? Not – I don't – the argument of which word is worse is interesting
versus which would he be more in trouble for.
Because I think you're right about cunt.
Like there would be more repercussions.
Yeah.
But it's for a different reason.
If he were to call – if he were to say someone in the WNBA is a dyke,
I think there would be big problems.
That would be problematic.
So in that case, it probably is worse.
So there you go.
Not even top 10.
Not even a top 10.
Some guy from the Rockers
team. He did that a couple years ago.
He was a New York...
Nappy-headed hoes.
That was tough.
Because that wasn't necessarily...
The word nappy is not a slur,
but the way he was like,
I remember people...
You are a white man putting some
stank on that shit no no no joke no joke at all the very same gentleman who's been in barstool
lore recently for always calling me gay for uh not wearing a seat belt i i mentioned a few times
that he used to drive me to yeah baseball camp yeah and that happened i know
for a fact that happened in i guess not i guess it didn't happen in the summer that happened in
the summer because like i i remember him ranting about it in the car dude donna don i miss i it
wouldn't make sense that it happened this summer because it was women's basketball was i guess it
could have been like may but the um it was – at least it was still in the news when baseball camp had started.
And he was –
April?
Yeah.
He was just ranting in the car about it.
This is crazy.
You guys can't say anything anymore.
Honestly, that might be the first like cancel culture
No, there's no way.
This whole thing
has happened forever and it's
a fine ecosystem that
if you're ever
if someone gets in a lot of trouble
where the world decides, oh, that was
fucked up, you're always going to end up
on the wrong side of it. No one now is like
Don Imus was right
no yeah yeah i'm saying don i'm that was probably the first time that there was like
a guy of his stature somebody got like who he pulled in ratings and all that shit
got fired for saying something like that it definitely i don't know about first time
certainly 2007 is i mean people were getting away with a lot of shit that was oh seven yeah i still went
to baseball camp when i was in high school dork i i feel like uh wait no i would have been in
college never mind that was i'm conflating memories now yeah oh seven yeah i was i i was
graduating college yeah so that was yeah it was – you better not have been baseball camp.
But yeah, that might be the first – because I remember people being like mad about that.
But like –
It was that guy though.
I guess it wasn't the way to space it.
There wasn't enough like fire on either side.
You know, like it was weird.
It was like it was the – you would think the first example of cancel culture like that or one of the early ones would be a big deal.
But it was like since it hadn't happened multiple times yet, people were just like, I don't know.
That's crazy.
Don is lost his job, but they didn't know it was going to become a spate of things where people.
I mean, I mean, this this gentleman I'm referring to, he was quite upset.
Yeah, I mean, I'm sure there were.
Yeah, I'm sure there were.
It just wasn't like a groundswell of support for him because people were just – they didn't know it was going to become a big thing.
But that was – I mean, if you're from New York or you listen to WFAN, like Imus was a big deal.
Like he got ratings.
I think he was probably – I mean, he was an old-ass man, so he was probably on the tail end anyway.
But yeah, that was crazy.
I think it'll be weird if Chris Broussard gets nothing for this.
I would be surprised.
Really?
I think so.
Zero punishment?
I don't think he's big enough.
I don't even know what network he's on.
All the more reason.
Is he on Fox?
No, he's on ESPN. I thought it was he on Fox? No, he's on ESPN.
I thought it was First Take.
No, because Nick Wright's on ESPN, guys.
Oh, you're right.
A bunch of people were getting mad at me.
They were like, this is not First Take on ESPN.
This is First Things First on Fox.
Get your facts right.
I was like, nobody fucking cares, dude.
Not one person cares what show this is on or what channel this is on.
I think, if anything, I mean, i'm not advocating for it i don't i
don't give a fuck i don't want anything to happen to him but like you would think fox i guess if
there's nobody there's no reaction then you just let it go but if anything i'd be like i'm not
gonna risk our our stations uh like reputation of chris broussard if people are mad about it
i'll be like you get suspended for a day. You get suspended for a week. I don't know. Whatever. Yeah.
I would think Broussard is one of the big dogs over there.
Right?
Him and Nick Wright?
I thought these guys were all on ESPN.
I did not realize that Nick Wright was not on ESPN.
You know what's funny?
Speaking of FS1.
I think it's FS1.
Whatever it is.
Joy Taylor.
I follow her.
And she retweeted yesterday just Jenna Hayes at her Halloween party. Get it, Joy? I've always liked her. And she retweeted yesterday just Jenna Hayes at her Halloween party.
Get it, Joy.
I've always liked her.
She's a fun one.
I was like, wait.
She's a fun one.
I saw Jenna Hayes pop on my timeline.
What's she up to?
I did a little research last night.
Yeah, she's on the OnlyFans train.
How's she looking?
She looks great.
Yeah.
But the – I was like i was like wait this can't
be the real young the young pup pavs over here h-a-y yeah h-a-y yes like it's a real name
no sir no sir not at all. She,
uh,
she was a,
she is up there on the list,
man. She's kind of an unsung hero.
Yeah.
Like you're going to hear the,
the Jenna Jamesons and those names,
but she was,
she was,
she held the team together during like a bridge year.
She did.
She's like the missing link.
Yeah.
You know, the OGs to the OnlyFans.
The Jenna Jamesons really took it mainstream.
And then...
Dude, a girl like her must fucking love OnlyFans.
Yeah.
Where it was kind of over for her.
And probably she wanted it to be somewhat over.
Slash, I'm getting older.
And there's a new toy to play with in the porn industry and then all of a sudden you can just
do it all again and make all that's got to be the best thing that's ever fucking happened
the um she was uh yeah she was a pioneer too of just letting her asshole get
dude like it is like now i don't think i've ever seen a dick in that girl's pussy
she's a ted speaker how about that she i i thought she went that way i think she okay good for her
she got a lot of degrees and shit in her and i think she went i will say this when i see
this is totally unfair and shit but when i see that like you put all your degrees in your bio
it's kind of like i think it has like the opposite effect yeah i'm like you're trying to tell
everyone you're smart rather than just being like i'm smart a bunch of people fucking misjudge me
because of uh career and sex work they are stupid and ignorant if you ever talk to me or see me you can tell i'm intelligent but you know like i saw somebody that said like it said like pre-med
or something like that it was like i almost was a doctor i took biology class yeah it was like or
like or like it was like i went to med school or something like that where it was like that
doesn't count yeah i'm just bad at taking tests like the MCATs MCATs. Yeah.
Is it MCATs?
Yeah.
LSATs for,
for lawyers and MCATs for doctor.
Then what?
With the Massachusetts standardized test is something exactly like MCATs MCATs.
Oh,
that's confusing.
Yeah.
I'd run around and be telling him,
girl,
I passed the MCATs.
Yeah.
Um,
good for her doing Teds and porn and stuff.
That's awesome.
What else we got?
We shot an out of order last night.
And coming home, Owen got robbed.
What?
And we were just talking about it before he came in.
Can we get him in here?
It's not much of a story.
He got pickpocketed more than robbed.
On the subway?
No, walking through the West Village.
It was the West Village parade.
Howling parade, yes.
I was going to say, it's hard to get pickpocketed in the wild.
It's actually probably very easy to get pickpocketed in the parade.
Yeah, dude, he's further in than me.
And even in my stop, it took like 40 minutes to get off the subway like from a stop up the stairs and how can i deal
and i was getting claustrophobic i was like 40 minutes i mean not that long but like like a
chunk of time a good chunk of time yeah like you're just like standing in traffic from from
i the subway stops on my street from like getting off the subway to into my apartment was probably about a half hour. Wow.
Just like people going up steps and then when they get outside, the parade was blocking them or something so they couldn't move?
Yes, exactly that.
And right on 14th, it was walled off.
So as soon as you got off the subway, it was three feet and then police barrier.
That's terrible. It was so bad. Dude, that would freak me out, I think. subway like it was three feet and then police barrier so like there was it was so
bad such bad dude that would that would freak me out i think yeah it was in my new age uh learning
that i'm claustrophobic and you because you really couldn't could you have gotten back down if you
wanted to yeah i guess that would have made me feel like if any if anything i can just go stand
on the platform yeah if i was stuck like in both ways i think i would i would cause a stampede i'd start pushing get out of my way they all die dude and even worse than that was behind
me a guy who was just the horniest dude alive like was hitting on a girl i i had watched him
hit on like three different girls already and it is a big night for that and this but the this woman was rape not encouraging it but like
she was playing along and it was just like but she was playing along like in the sense that like
you have me trapped so i'll play along like so i can just hear it yeah and i was like this is
dude she's so clearly doesn't want to have this conversation and she's gonna be like no i'm done
with your age i'm done with your white knighted spoke up it was that's like oh such a weird thing like a weird area to be because it's joking you
shouldn't no no no i know like but this one wasn't a borderline one like this this certainly didn't
come to the like like never for a second was i like should i step in yeah i was more just like
this is uncomfortable listening to someone hit on somebody right but like it is that is a weird area where like it's it's never
happened where i've had like a serious i told you about the worst first date i heard where like
when the motel morris where i was like if the guy had gotten up i'd been like you should get
the fuck out of here but it's like yeah that wasn't being weird i was like that dude sucks
um but like i think i've talked about it like, helping people, women get their bags up on airplanes.
Yeah.
Where I'm like, I'll let you try.
I don't want to just take it out of your hand.
Yeah, I don't want to be like the, it's like the mansplaining of luggage.
I got to know when to jump in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And, again, this one didn't come close to that.
I wasn't like to jump in.
But there is that area where, like, do I?
We went to Louis louis ck there was um there was a drunk
couple that i walked by and he pushed her and i like as i walked by he pushed her and i kept
walking and i turned and i like stopped and i was like i was like fuck i wish i didn't see that
and i i i said to her like are you okay and she was like look see he I wish I didn't see that. And I, I, I said to her like, are you okay?
And she was like, look, see, he saw that.
And like to the guy, she would, she didn't say to me like, no, I'm not.
But it was like, you see, you're being such a fucking asshole.
Yeah.
And I was like, and we kind of kept walking and it was right outside the garden.
So it was like a lot of people.
And, and we like got to this, to the arena.
And I was like, I wish i just like hung back for a little
while longer but i was also thinking i was like i don't know i've seen that kind of shit happen a
lot yeah if you're getting pushed and someone sees it and your reaction is like look you're
being an asshole again it's not great but it makes me feel like you weren't like oh my god
i'm in a dangerous situation you know i mean it feels like you're just a drunk toxic couple
but that was the that i think about that all the time because i'm like maybe i don't know maybe that girl's dead for all
i know i felt like i i should have done something there and not like that's not like i could do
something like i'm not like i would talk i could beat him up but i think just causing the scene
publicly would have made the guy stop yeah you know what i mean well that's a great lead into
what i was gonna talk about with ell, where he got pickpocketed
and then he went home
and did find my iPhone.
Oh, his phone on his wallet.
Yeah, his phone.
And the guy had it.
He saw where it was walking around.
No way.
And he was just like,
it's not worth it.
And it's very funny how
find my iPhone is great when you lose it at your friend's apartment. But when it gets stolen, it's very funny how if I'm my phone's great when you lose it
at your friend's apartment but when
it gets stolen you don't want it it's just like
hey dude you big fat fucking
man up yeah here's where it is yeah
get it and you're like
totally I'm not
gonna go get it get it
that is so good it's just
hilarious very same thing like I didn't want to
see that girl like I don't want to have my manhood challenge right now.
It's very clear.
Like, hey.
You could.
Hey, you little bitch.
It's right here.
Come get it.
Come get it.
If you were a real man, Owen, you'd have your phone right now.
But you're not.
And I don't blame you.
I wouldn't do it either.
But that, at the very least, I wish I knew we should have rounded the gang up and gone
on, like, a stakeout.
Like, get in the area and, like, look around. Like get in the area and like look around like it's moving.
Like I think it's that guy.
It's that guy.
But he said he could send him – let him send a message to the phone.
So I wouldn't just send fuck you loser.
I thought sending like this is the FBI.
We found all the child porn on this phone.
We're coming after you or something like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
I put scare into a criminal.
It would.
I stole fucking Jared Vogel's phone.
I'd be fucking kidding me.
I think you'd be like,
well,
it's not worth it.
Like throw it away.
Yeah.
Yeah.
At least make him go steal another person.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
I think it would be pretty coincidental if I stole a phone and then it happened.
I get a message about child porn.
But if you're stealing phones all the time, you never know.
You're bound to steal a child porn on it.
Yeah.
That's just statistics, baby.
I don't know if the FBI texts you when they find you're a child pornographer.
No, they probably don't.
But look, if I stole a phone and I got a text and it was like, I'm in the point i'd be like i'm just gonna go i'm in the west village on fucking halloween night oh no
i'm gonna go steal another one you know what yes i agree with that but you know what you got to do
is not don't be the fbi you got to be like hey dude it's steve wipe everything yeah they found
the porn yeah you know get rid of this phone get rid of your phone get rid of your computer
all that shit because that could be believable it's jared get rid of your phone, get rid of your computer, all that shit. Because that could be believable. It's Jared.
Get rid of your fucking child porn.
One of the fucking odds, man.
I'm about to go home and rock some 3G.
So I'm excited for it.
I'm doing the same.
Are you?
Okay. I got five pumpkin pies I got to eat.
I love it when you say got to eat.
They got to expire.
Two days of freshness.
No.
You have no choice.
Yeah.
I got five more pumpkin pies.
You've already put down two?
Yeah.
No.
So I got six more pumpkin pies.
Six pumpkin pies.
The only way you're going to do that is with some three cheese.
I love when I have it planned.
I know I'm going to do it.
It's good to have.
Anytime you have it on deck, you have some edibles.
You have some vapes.
You have any of the other stuff, the Delta 8 and Delta 9 products that 3G has.
But what I know, I'm going to make a night of it.
There's new TV shows out tonight.
There's some scary movies out there.
There's a couple things I'm watching.
I can't wait.
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I saw a video.
Speaking of odds, you know what I was thinking about the other day?
What?
You know how birth control is like 99% effective?
Yep.
I think they're underselling themselves.
I think it's wildly impressive that it's 99%.
Is that what you're saying?
I think it's way more than 99% effective.
I think they say it's like 99.99.
I think it's like as close as you can get.
But how many nines?
Let's look it up.
Jamie, look that up for me.
I feel like
they probably put on the box
like 99.9 because it's like
watching Pabst
just the hamster
wheel spin there. Is it an E or
an A? Is it an E or an A?
He had birth control out fast
and then it was just a long... A let's um probably none of these are going to show like down to the literal decimal
but these are these are numbers i'm gonna not want to know for real because when i hear something
like if something has a 5%
fail rate. Well, that's what I'm saying.
That's like, you fuck 100 times,
you might get chick-pride five times.
That's exactly what I was thinking.
If it's 99%,
it's way more than that.
Because
I've had sex a lot more
than 100 times.
And I have zero to kids.
Well,
how many pregnancies have you had though?
Not that many.
You probably had a couple.
No.
One,
a couple,
couple,
two out of how many times you can get sex?
Thousand.
Probably more than that.
What if they start,
you know,
it's so funny.
Marketing's so funny.
If you,
if you market it as
99% effective
it's like holy shit
if you say
you're only gonna need to have
two abortions in your lifetime
you'd be like
fuck
I don't have any
and they're just like
it's only two
it's only two
no big deal
the
John's uncomfortable
I'm uncomfortable
I had a moment where i um really started
questioning the pill until i learned i was just being lied to and manipulated
oh you're you're lying that you are not pregnant fool me once okay i was being i was being uh
i was being a stand-up guy fool me twice i was like holy
shit i can't believe this happened again fool me three times i was like oh you're a lying bitch
dude i'm i'm first of all i'm not uncomfortable at all i stand i i was thinking about this with
the other day with all the justin timberlake stuff i don't want to say why he's in trouble
for anything i said never did i do anything i i said so what do you
think yeah and they were like i think and i was like i think we're on the same page and then
everybody just agreed no it was never said no fucking i sure i opined i'm like i know what i
think it is have you ever had a pre-talk about that a free talk like before it's ever happened
like i said like so you know just you know we're hooking
up like pretty consistently now like just so you know we're on the same page like if anything were
to happen and they and they go and i'm like cool um the uh no i've never had that i don't think
i i think i think when you're someone who decides to sleep with me,
you're not someone who's ready to...
Agree.
I think it's pretty...
Hit that stage of your life.
I actually...
The same reason I don't ever use condoms
was the same sort of thing.
I feel like if I'm having sex with someone,
if there is a person who I am
genuinely worried I will
get an STD from, I'm probably not
having sex with that person.
No.
I'm saying
for me, bro.
You just said no.
You didn't say I disagree.
In my case, I don't agree with that. You just said no. I've say I disagree in my case I don't agree with that
you just said no
I was pretty sure I was part of the trade
I know again
I'm going to bring bad dick
you're going to bring gonorrhea
meet you at 12
what a horrible exchange for everybody
it's a tough barter right here
dude that is so funny i i think uh there is a chance i could sleep with someone
and be like oh i got burned but i'm saying if it is like known like if it's like that girl
has stds and has given them to dudes and blah blah blah like i probably wouldn't fuck you
so in that case i I'm always like,
I don't think my chances, we don't need a condom.
Because birth control is also 99.9% sure.
I'm only got two abortions.
I think birth control, I... How about that though?
Okay, wait.
This is just a Planned Parenthood website thing.
If you use it perfectly, the pill is not...
That's the thing, bro.
If you don't use it perfectly, it's 93% effective.
So that means 7
out of 100 pill users
will get pregnant
each year.
That's a lot.
Yeah, dude.
Because that's the thing.
It's kind of a fucking joke. You see it at comedy
clubs or when you're out or whatever.
A girl's alarm goes off at 11pm
and it's her birth control. But it's like, if you don't take that shit at the right time you're now down to 93 percent
and it's the amount of times like oh shit i forgot to take the pill and the guys are like just take
two it's like that's not how this fucking works man but also i feel like it means you have to fuck
on that when on that screw up yeah yeah while you're ovulating.
I mean, it's crazy how hard it is to get pregnant
and how many people who want to get pregnant can't
and how many people who don't want to get pregnant do.
It's nature's cruel little
fucking mother nature
that fickle bitch.
You're 39
and you desperately want a daughter
versus the 16-year-old who's just letting
some dude blow in the back of her in the fucking
school bus. Let's make her pregnant.
Fuck you.
Even Babs' face is like,
Jesus Christ.
That's where it happens.
I once had a girl
tell me...
That was graphic.
This show is.
This is a good one, bro. we've been doing this show so long that it
you know the show is what it is was every now and then we get one of these i'm like this podcast is
awesome number one we should be number one you retards i once had a girl tell me uh i was like
are you on the pill and and we were like we were like naked like having
like oh about that she could say no at that point she could say i'm taking the pregnancy pill i'm
trying to get pregnant yeah whatever no she had the best line she went i'm on so much medication
i'm pretty sure i can't get pregnant i'm so fucked up on barrett don't you worry i was like i don't even know the science behind that
but all right so if you i'm down to be a test subject when you're if you're fucking a girl
are you coming inside her no i mean no yeah like that like that's – Unless they tell me to in which case I'm like, well, now I'm done.
I mean, if she asks me to.
Bro.
Like I've always felt –
If you say like, I'm like, God, fuck.
It's like the guy – it's like Will Ferrell in Austin Powers.
I can't lie three times in a row.
If you ask – if you tell me to do it, I have to do it.
It's not even a sexual thing. If you just ask me to tell me to do it, I have to do it. It's not even a sexual thing.
If you just ask me to do something, there's something I have to do it.
In the middle of sex, some girl's like, do my taxes.
God, fuck.
I always felt like.
It's like when you catch a gnome under the bridge or whatever.
What?
No, no.
If you catch a leprechaun, they have to grant your wish. you catch a leprechaun they have to grant your
wish i'm a leprechaun if you just catch me doing anything at any point and ask me to do it i'll
just fucking just go up to john and ask him despite like how awful it couldn't be for my future
totally god fucking ass damn it dude like's out of my hands now.
I always thought I don't care what you're on,
what I'm on, whatever.
Putting your dick
inside someone and ejaculating is what
you do to get someone pregnant.
You know? Yeah.
And I remember my buddy being like,
man, I've been coming in XYZ
every single time. And I was like, that's not a good idea, man. But she's on the pill, right? And he's like, no. And I was like buddy being like, man, I've been coming in XYZ every single time.
And I was like, that's not a good idea, man.
But she's on the pill, right?
And he's like, no.
And I was like, you're fucking crazy.
That is insanity.
You just roll the dice on. You do the thing that makes bitches get pregnant.
And they're not doing the thing to stop them from getting pregnant.
And you're just doing that.
And I always thought, even if you're on the pill, it like i don't know this isn't a a good idea and then i mean if you're like
dating someone seriously that's a different story but like anything else i'm like just fucking it's
fun to come on a girl too you know what i mean it's not like it's that much like you lose the
the feeling but you do something else that's pretty cool yeah it's not like the whole thing
it's not like you have to stop entirely. If you told me
you can't cum at all, I'd be like, well, alright.
But it's like, yeah, do some cool
porn shit, but don't do the thing
that makes pregnancy. That always
seems a little risky to me.
Well, yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
Yeah, you do it.
I just do what I'm told. That's it.
That's all I do in this fucking life is I just do what i'm told that's it that's all i do in this fucking life
is i just do what i'm told i i it is i am i am always on the path of least resistance
for the next 10 seconds bro and then that's it and then i'll deal with the next 10 my life is so
people say the wrong day down no i'm what gets me here to 10 seconds in the future, I'll do it.
Fine. And then I'll deal with that when I get there.
No spoilers, but you'll
see coming up in Barstool Survivor,
every time I was game planning and
scheming and stuff, people would be
like, John, what do you think? He's like, I'm just
doing the tolls.
Somebody tell me what to vote for, I'll do it.
I'm easy, man.
I'm being Nazi so quick.
I saw a clip.
I don't know if you've seen it yet.
When I watched it, I was like, I cannot script a clip that John would hate more than this.
Did you see Rogan and Elon?
No.
Joe Rogan fires an arrow at Elon Musk's Cybertruck.
I was like, this is a Mad Libs for something, John.
Fucking load.
Both of them in Halloween costumes.
Rogan and Elon. Oh, I did see Rogan's costume.
I liked Rogan's costume.
Yeah, he was the guy from the WBC.
I mean, it is kind of a cool clip, to be honest.
But it is also as he smokes the cigar, trying to be the cool guy.
And he fucking rocks the Cybertruck with a bow and arrow for the future.
I mean, here's the deal.
If I put myself in this situation, if there's a fucking cyber truck there or any kind of car, it doesn't matter.
And you're like, you want to fuck this up?
Hell yeah.
Yeah, I'll fuck it up.
Hell yeah.
It does leave a dent.
It's not like it.
You want me to shoot it with an arrow?
I'd be like, yeah, I'll fucking shoot that thing with an arrow.
So I can't.
Now, maybe I'm naive.
I might be.
I'm about to say something very stupid,'m sure to the archery community but if you told me like shooting an
arrow at any car would like fuck it up
I would think that an arrow would bounce
off like any car I guess that's stupid
I would think it would pierce it
yeah I think it would pierce it
like it would rip through like
it would stay in it or
no it would stay in the door
so that to me is like okay
it has like a harder shell than
your shell yeah but maybe i'm wrong maybe maybe arrows go like 800 million miles an hour and it
would like rip through a fucking i don't think so i think it would hit the like so then what is the
big deal here i i don't think there is one i mean like i think this is just kind of piggybacking off
the it's bulletproof. Yeah.
Still my favorite clip.
Maybe ever.
That might be.
That's like a top 10 internet clip of all time.
When he just breaks the window.
And he's like, well, okay, that didn't work.
It is.
You can tell how nervous this camera guy is. Because this is like, obviously, the most viral clip of the year.
And he's just shaking.
You better get this shit right. I would be so nervous to be the cameraman viral clip of the year but one of the like he's just shaking right you think they better get this shit right i would be so nervous to like be the cameraman
for these things like you know pull a jackie with rogan and elon holy moly that would imagine
being like can you do that again joe um this is such an ugly car i kind of like it really like
in a in a obnoxious way like like the eight-year-old
in me is like wow there's cars that actually look like fucking that now you know what i mean
that's like driving something from the movies yeah as a grown adult it's pretty tough yeah if i yeah
if i pull up to school with my kids like i'm an asshole but there is part of me that's like
like so many things have been promised from this asshole elon musk but like you know if you told if you asked me in 1995 what is going to
be like in 2023 i'd be telling you flying cars and hoverboards and this and that the other day
and it's like nah everything's pretty much you know the fucking same but the cyber truck does
look like something that is like okay we're living in the future now um i'm sure that thing sucks to drive
though oh i was thinking about this the other day uh today how much do you need
self-driving cars to like prove before you would do it
thank you um uh like would you need it to be like out for like a year and there'd be no accidents
would you just jump in and do it right away would you because i when i'm driving i'm always like
man if i could be doing a video right now i would kill two birds with one stone and like help my day
a lot and i would love to be able to just like sit shotgun and make one minute man videos on my
commute i probably but i would i would i think i would always be like this is
really really effective but what if this was the one time i get in an accident and i'm the dickhead
who was on his phone while the car crashed and now i'm like liable i like driving and i like it
because it's like you do it infrequently though i do it infrequently but i like yeah nope um I like just not having my phone.
I like doing something separate.
So the reason you want to have a sales order car is why I like not having it. So I'm like, I put my phone down and just do this thing.
But I wouldn't be an early adapter.
I wouldn't be a guy who was late either.
I'd be somewhere in the middle.
Almost like I do with iPhones.
Everything else kind of.
I'm not waiting in line, but you're not going to see me with an iPhone 4 either.
It's just like when I need a new phone, I just get a new phone.
When I need a new car, I'd probably just be like,
all right, are we doing self-driving now?
Sure, I'll do the self-driving.
Maybe wait a little bit longer than 3D TVs.
A lot of people with just random ass sunglasses in their living room still like i don't know i mean i thought 3d tvs were gonna be a thing
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Okay. So, um, I forgot it was early release day at school. So I'm hauling ass to the bus stop
because as a nice judgy parent just called to inform me, um, she's at the bus stop and there's
no one to grab her. And it got me thinking about like when I was a kid,
my mom left me at a department store,
but I had a really bad speech impediment.
And so I hardly talked because no one understood me.
So when I got lost, I went to the cashier,
but I just stood there because I didn't,
I was one scared of strangers and two knew that no one would be able to
understand me.
And it wasn't until about like 10 minutes later, my mom started like realized I wasn't in the
car and then like went back for me.
Um, so pretty traumatizing.
It made me really sad.
And so have you guys ever been left by your parents anywhere as a kid?
And Kevin, have you forgotten your kids at all
like at school now or like bro that's so sad what 10 minutes at the department store no i i knew no
one would understand me oh so i just never spoke having a speech impediment as a kid must be a
terrible nightmare like i feel so bad luckily i didn't know any kids with speech impediment as a kid must be a terrible nightmare. I feel so bad.
Luckily, I didn't know any kids with speech impediments, so I couldn't bully them.
We just called them retards.
If I could go back, I probably would have.
I'm just lucky I didn't have the opportunity.
Yeah, you would.
To make fun of.
I wasn't a bully, but.
Just made fun of kids lesser than you.
It was one of those things where it's just like, I don't know, man.
What do I want to do here?
I gotta do this.
You know the fucking rules, right?
I have.
I have, like, forgotten.
I've been, like, rushing to get my kids for sure.
But I have never, like. Like, one time I was supposed to take them to school in the morning. And I just, like rushing to get my kids for sure. But I have never like,
like I,
one time I was supposed to take them to school in the morning and I just
like forgot,
but like their mom just took them instead.
It was never like,
I haven't,
I haven't had something where it's like they are stranded somewhere or
missing something,
but I'm always dude,
I am always rushing like all the time.
I am just squeezing everything into like every single
day i'm like i will do this interview this show i gotta do this video and i will like i will get
there with a minute to spare and then i'm in traffic and i'm trying to make i mean it's just
always something um because they're always just doing so much shit i have not lost them yet no
i have a buddy who's his wife made it makes him take his shoe off and put it in the back of the car so he does not forget the kid in the car.
Really?
You'll get out of the car and be like, oh, shit, I only have one shoe.
There are a lot of stories, particularly with dads. you have a very traditional you know gender role sort of relationship where it's like you have the
kids today and you just go on autopilot you're like i commute to work and i yeah i just like
got out of the car and went to my office and like there was a baby in the fucking car dude
um but like i hate you know she said some judgy parent call. I was like, fuck you, man. It's so fucking hard.
So fucking hard to have kids.
Especially now.
I think you were the one talking about how it used to be.
I do work and you do kids.
And now everybody does everything.
So everybody's work suffers.
Everybody's parenting suffers.
Everybody's sleep deprived.
Everybody's tired.
Fucking fat. Injured. Addicted. Bored. Miserable. Everybody's sleep deprived. Everybody's tired, fucking fat, injured, addicted, bored, miserable, you know, everything.
And then you have someone being like, oh, you, you know, you were 10 minutes late to the bus stop.
Fuck you, man.
There's so much worse shit out there.
Leave me alone.
I, uh, I mean, I got, I like that. that that was i wouldn't even say i got left places
as a kid is like it was regularly i don't know like my parents didn't come
yeah like i mean i also i remember just like walking home from the school bus like
alone we just did that we didn't even take a bus like i just walk home from school yeah
oh my mom forgot yeah we we
we were called they were called walkers at school they would there would be an announcement they
would say it's now it's 232 all walkers may go if you're a walker that means you could go um
bus like 142 is here bus 248 is here they would start making announcements they would say walkers
can go and you're just called walkers and just watch them and you get people who could walk home
and i think that was up to you to decide decide it was not like you have to be within a
certain range it was like i don't know five miles you want to walk it good crazy crazy town what's
up guys i am parked outside my kids school waiting for this halloween parade to start
and i just pause for a second real quick hallow Halloween has turned into like fucking Christmas with kids.
You got to go to a Halloween parade at school.
You got to go to a Halloween parade for the town.
You got to go to a Halloween parade for your fucking baseball team.
Then there's going to be a Halloween party.
Then there's going to be a Halloween dance.
Then there's going to be trunk or treat, which is a thing now where you get fucking candy out of the trunks of cars, which is something they used to like warn us about don't take any candy out of a car now it's a thing you do and then you have to go
trick-or-treating with you know regular trick-or-treating it's fucking nuts i did like
seven things for halloween this year really by the time they're trick-or-treating they're in the
costume they're like i don't want to wear the fucking costume anymore it's insane dude we were
out on i i i i have the exact opposite experience we were
out on long island last night and like the neighborhood was all trick-or-treating and i
was like this is really nice and wholesome i mean we went trick-or-treating for an hour
keegan was like i'm tired can we go home i was like, yes. That's what Owen's dad was saying.
Everyone trick or treats.
It's done by 7 p.m.
It's great.
I don't know if I misremember.
I feel like I was out for hours.
Trudging through the rain.
House on house on house.
We did a loop.
When we got back to Caitlin's house, he was like, can we just go?
I was like, yeah, buddy.
I remember we'd hit one neighborhood yeah parents would drive us to a new neighborhood
like come on with like zillions i mean they had like a little bag of candy
not me i would i i have an early adoptery of the you know the switch which no you this is for parents who don't want kids eating candy f words they um you take
all the candy and you the switch which comes and leaves a present in exchange for the candy
and the candy i think the story is like we send the candy to starving kids and you get like a
barbie doll instead of like 25 pieces of candy what it's like shut the fuck up man let the kid eat a bunch of candy for a night dude that's
insane that's like ben volan the uh pat's beat guy for the globe yeah just tweeted last night
like oh sure great idea let's give our kids a bunch of sugar before bed
fuck that's a fucking myth that's so shut up it's such a loser tweet the way that's a fucking myth also shut up
it's such a loser tweet
no one's pretending it's the healthiest thing in the world
it's one night a year
have some fucking candy and go to bed
maybe as my kids get older they will
I feel like
I feel like some fat kids
probably go crazy
my kids had a couple candy bars last night
they were like alright I'm done
bro I had two pumpkin pies last night they were small pumpkin pies they were minis okay so
next up i got i got them from hello fresh it was probably about half a whole pumpkin pie
and i just finished yesterday's episode with jackie talking about how she's afraid of escalators
and elevators and losing
limbs. I too have
a very irrational fear of losing
limbs and also
being stuck in things
like escalators.
It's like a huge fear of mine.
She said her greatest fear was losing
one of her legs.
It's probably one of my greatest fears, too.
It really freaks me out.
My husband's in construction.
I always tell him, please don't lose a limb, a finger.
I think we would have to get a divorce.
I just I don't know if I could mentally deal with that.
That sounds horrible.
But anyway, so that made me remember my trip to the aquarium with my children about two
weeks ago for my daughter's first birthday.
We went for her
birthday and we took along my four-year-old and my two-year-old. My four-year-old and two-year-old
are defiant, as you would expect. And there are two levels to the aquarium and we were on the
second level, but to leave, you have to go back down to the first floor so my husband had the stroller so i went down the escalator with the children which is fine we all made it down safely
even though i was very nervous about the situation my son loves escalators of course because i do not
like them so god damn kid wanted to walk back a flight of stuff right next to the escalator
and go back down and i said no because
i was holding the baby and we had his sister and everyone was more than ready to go home and
he just wouldn't stop so he starts walking up the steps and i tell him and threaten him no toys no
treats do not walk up those steps he walks up up the steps. I followed him maybe five steps when I realized
there was no catching him. I'm holding a baby, dragging a two-year-old and he is faster than me
on a good day. So he goes all the way to the top, stands at the top as I stare him down and tell him
he better not step on that escalator. He stepped on the escalator, held on to both sides and kept eye contact with
me the entire time. It didn't break his stare. Basically like, fuck you, mom. I did it. You
can't stop me. I'm doing it right now. Halfway down, his two-year-old sister gives him a thumbs up and says great job Wes so she also had to uh you know rub it in
a little bit so that was you know not my best parenting moment I definitely lost my shit in
the middle of the aquarium with a huge gathering of people watching and employees who definitely
do not have children and were definitely throwing some judgments
around because they had never been in that situation and yeah i i can remember seeing
and seeing like parents kind of like grab their kid or like give them a little whack or like
you know make a scene in public a little bit. And I remember being like, that's child abuse. Yeah. And now I'm like,
that kid's a fucking asshole.
I get it.
I get it,
sister.
When they do some defiant shit,
it's kind of like,
oh,
and with the,
with the thing,
it's like you play your card of like,
you're going to be in trouble.
You're going to lose this.
You're going to lose that.
I'm going to be really mad.
Whatever you play.
And they're just like,
I'm calling your bluff.
Yeah. Or they're like, I don't care. And you're just like, just like what do i do now and back in the day you used to hit them yeah you can't do that i am out of options yeah like you you're lucky you weren't
born you know 40 years earlier kid you'd have a black eye right now i i thought that i was watching
um the haunting of blind manor last night uh and there's the little kid, the son in it.
It's just very creepy and very evil and bad.
And I was thinking watching, I'm like, what do you do in this case?
If you're the babysitter and the kid just sucks.
Dude, I know a family that like tells people like close circle
like we're a little bit afraid of her like like i what do you do there's the very viral tweet
about like the i think it's like people always talk down about abandoned about um what do you
call it not abandoned fathers but orphan like what do you call like uh Not abandoned fathers, but what do you call when a dad leaves the kid?
A dirtbag?
Yeah.
Absentee father?
Absentee father, yeah.
Absentee fathers, but no one ever considers
maybe the kid just had bad vibes.
Everyone always makes fun of that tweet.
I'm like, he's kind of got a point it's it's like anything else in the world you you get your dream job and it actually sucks you're
like all right this wasn't i thought it was gonna be i quit or you buy like your dream car and it's
like it actually sucks you get another one like it's just the one thing where like i brought this
thing into the world i'm responsible for it dude i i know i know you should probably be able to kill your kids you
should be a lot listen i'm i'm doing the world a favor like you want me to leave this thing
on its own to its own devices it becomes jeffrey dahmer i'm just gonna kill this kid dude i i i
know a kid who just has bad vibes and like i resent him for it where i'm like dude why are you making me you're really my
time here like like i do i've been playing before and like with him and some other kids and they're
like he's like why are you being nicer to so-and-so and i'm like it's just instinct i don't
know it's just like you got bad vibes dude he's cool learn the lesson now, kid. I don't know what's up.
I realize that, like, fuck, he's right.
I'm definitely favoring this kid more.
But I don't know, man.
He's cool.
He's having fun.
He's going to catch the ball.
He brings it.
When I throw the ball, he brings it back.
I don't know.
You don't even catch it.
It's not fun playing with you.
John's talking about dogs at this point.
You bite me.
He doesn't.
But, like, I don't know.
I resent.
Absolutely, though.
Like, that is a thing.
There are kids who are lame.
There are kids who are scary.
There are kids who are violent.
Why don't you try harder to make me like you, child?
I'm like, I thank God every fucking day that my kids are like,
my kids are a breeze compared to some of the other stuff
families have to put up with.
My kids are awesome.
Enjoy endless fun at Bolero with unlimited bowling specials all week long.
Now, I would tell everybody to enjoy some bowling,
except when me and John get on the bowling lanes, I wax that.
He does beat me.
I know it's not a fun time for John.
I'll tell you what.
I'll go to Bolero with you tomorrow.
I bet I win.
You bet you win.
Yeah.
Have you been practicing or something?
No.
In fact, I bowled recently.
I was worse than I even thought.
Okay.
I'll take that bet then.
I will take that bet.
Okay.
All right.
Tomorrow, you and I at Bolero.
One game.
Oh, I do like that because anybody can have a bad or a good frame yeah one game okay one game only we me versus you
at bolero for all the bars i bet you i win i don't know you can choose the number i honestly
i don't even care when i do these things it's about the prize yeah it's like i you can put
like same thing with survivors i don't care about the prize. Yeah. It's like you can put it. Same thing with Survivor.
I don't care about the money.
I want the win.
It's a gentleman's bet, though. Okay.
A gentleman's bet.
The strongest gentleman's bet.
For just the Bolero Cup.
Okay.
Whoever wins gets to be the bowling.
I think being the bowling champion of KFC Radio carries some weight to it.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We've been wondering it for 10 years.
Now we know.
All right.
So me and Final Burger go to Bolero.
We're going to play one game, one frame, one match,
however you call it.
But Bolero has unlimited deals.
They have night strike and after party,
which are deals Monday through Thursday is night strike.
And then Friday night's after party where you pay a flat fee
and you get your shoes and unlimited bowling.
It's it's like a classy version of bowling.
You know, it's not sometimes people think of bowling alleys as older.
And this is all fresh, new, clean.
It feels like the best vibes.
You talk about places.
I always got good vibes.
Lebowski vibes, fun vibes.
They got music.
They got food. They got booze they got
it all so uh visit bolero.com to find a bolero near you and take advantage of that unlimited
bowling monday through friday night that's bolero.com b-o-w-l-e-r-o.com find a place near
you what's good boys and jackie uh it's sad boy season it's whistle
season oh easily the best time of the year um but some people say that drinking and being sad
isn't good for you which got me thinking what else is like a great combination but it's like
bad for you like if you have a weak body peanut peanut butter and regular bread is going to kill you.
Bomb sex with a toxic partner,
but you're a sick fuck yourself, so you stay
with it. What are your thoughts?
Yo, you're a bitch.
Yo.
I was like,
what?
This bitch is telling me peanut butter and bread
will kill you?
If you have a weak body, peanut butter and regular bread will kill you?
Yo, yo, yo.
If you have a weak body, the thing the majority of the population has,
peanut butter and bread, the thing the population needs.
I guess he means allergies.
All right, peanut allergies, is that what he means?
The way he phrased that.
There's a more sensible way.
The population has, like, oh, peanut allergy. is that what he means? The way he phrased that. As soon as you said that, the population
was like, oh, peanut allergy.
I was like,
what is this guy talking about?
You know somebody's died?
There are plenty of people who have died from peanut allergy.
Sure.
You die from a peanut allergy, you don't die from a peanut allergy.
Just say a peanut, dude.
It's not the sandwich that's the problem.
It's not the bread.
Don't put fucking peanut allergy on the bread. Don't put that on peanut, dude Is that the sandwich that's the problem? Is that the bread? Don't put fucking peanut allergy on the bread
Don't put that on them, dude
That's not their reputation
What are some good combos
That was a confusing moment
For like 20 seconds there
Good combos that are bad for you
I don't know, I don't think drinking and being sad
Is bad for you
I think it's fucking
It's fun Yeah, sad is bad for you I think it's fucking It's fun
Like yeah it's bad
I mean you can understand why the rest of the world
Is going like this right now
You get that right
That's you know
Probably how people end up committing suicide
So people end up dead
I was depressed and I drank too much
Yeah yeah okay
Alright fine How about people end up dead i was depressed and i drank too much yeah yeah okay all right fine um how about
got it nice thank god finally yeah um how about
well i mean like here's the deal like it's just my life everything i do is bad for you yeah there's
there's fucking there's no peace in this world anymore man it is it's everything has to be like going it's just like king tell him there's nothing
that's on like there's nothing we have too much information and there's everything's bad for you
it's like like i've been trying to be healthier i've been working out more than like i was with
cory g he's like you're working out every day like yeah he's like that's too much maybe it's too much i'm doing that's the good
thing i can't do the good thing every day what can i do every day i'm a routine based person
i need the only thing you probably literally do every day is sleep that's truly it sleep and drink
water i don't think there's anything that can hurt you everything else is probably too much of this
is bad for you on that someone make a daily schedule of things I can do every day.
So like when you said there's no peace.
Well, I mean, it's just it's just fucking nonsense every day.
It's like this thing we thought was healthy is bad.
No, this is I.
I know I'm already a little bit like this.
Mostly it's a joke, but I do know there's a part of my personality that does believe in some of like the conspiracy theory theory stuff but i can understand how by the time
you're like 60 you might turn into a crackpot because like everything you've been told gets
reversed on you like at some point you know what i mean things you learn in school things that
doctors tell you things that happens in pop culture all fashion all these things there's like
don't do this don't do this don don't do this, don't do this,
and all of a sudden do all that, and everything flip-flops,
and it's like, well, you were lying.
No, wait, you were lying. No, wait, now
back to being true. It's like, how the
fuck do you... We were kind of talking
about it on the news the other day. It was like, who
can you actually believe on the news
that's not being influenced or bought
or doing it for clicks, and it's like, I don't
think there's anyone left. And if you do that long enough And it's like, I don't think there's anyone left.
And if you do that long enough,
it's like, I don't believe fucking any of you.
Once you learn about the pharmaceuticals and shit,
you're telling me that there isn't somebody
in the doctor's pocket saying
you need this many servings of protein a day
because fucking Purdue chicken is telling you
and Purdue pills is telling you to take these.
Purdue chicken is telling you to eat these.
It's like everybody's fucking doing something for the wrong reasons.
And we are the puppets.
Bro, I remember like when I had my awakening, when I got woke, when like I was like, I remember just being like, this is such a stupid trope in like tv shows where like the fill the hot hot um pharmaceutical rep comes in it's like doctor you should prescribe more of this i'm like
doctors wouldn't do that turns out they fucking almost exclusively do that yeah that's why that's
why they become doctors i i i i guess i'm like a naive. I like to convince myself that it's because I'm like just like a nice person.
But like I cannot fathom the reason why you would prescribe a pill that you don't think is as good over a pill that you think is better.
Money, baby.
Like that.
But that's just like really it doesn't compute with me where i'm like you because that fucking hot
pharmaceutical rep said like they'll give you pens and take you to fucking glendale arizona
you're gonna give pills that you don't think work as well that's insane to me
yep it just doesn't it's it's so stupid and so childish and so idiotic and i'm just like i just
i cannot get most of the world dude childish and idiotic and i'm just like i just i cannot get most of the world dude
childish and idiotic and stupid and selfish it's crazy speaking of prescription stuff i watched uh
american horror story kind of has like a black mirror type season where it's like one-offs okay
and there was this one that was definitely ozempic it was called mondify and this girl
gets her dream job as a model using Ozempic but then the
doctor tells her you have a heart murmur and like you can't be on this anymore and she's like I have
to like my career depends on it and he's this Asian doctor and he tells her he has this one
like one other alternative and it's it's this fat like larva tapeworm that's like a little chubby white thing and he's like eat this and
you'll be good and he's like the the the parasite will beg for food but you cannot eat any more than
you regularly would you have to stay disciplined and just eat regular amounts and the rest of the
episode dude is just this this actress just binging food it was one of the more
disturbing things i've ever watched on tv more so than blood and guts and gore and shit it was like
stuffing her face and blah and at the end he's like all right like uh you know she's like all
fucked up and he's like all right you have to pass this it's gonna come out of your ass so like um so crazy he's like when it you know it's gonna
pop out and you just grab its head and pull it out and if you've been eating like i told you to
eat it's only gonna be like this small thing and she's like oh and she's just been like feeding it
feeding it and i didn't watch the end. I couldn't.
I was like, how big was it?
I was like, if I watch this, this will fuck me up.
It was like a monster comes out of her and fucking eats her.
That's a very disconnected thing that we're talking about.
Prescription drugs.
It was one of the craziest fucking things I've ever watched on TV. It was disgusting,
dude.
Ugh.
That's a nightmare.
As far as combos, any other
combos I would do?
Cocaine and heroin, probably up there.
That's probably, yeah,
you should not do that, right?
Highball?
Highball. No, highball's a drink uh speedball people yeah high balls a glass sex and uh ecstasy what they say is like you'll never be able to have regular sex again that's
i think that's probably pretty awesome i i i've had sex on molly it's fine yeah i i i yeah i think
it's,
I guess there is a world where I remember the on X when I was like in high
school or even as a middle school,
my friends had like siblings in high school.
They're like,
we can never fuck on X to see.
Yeah.
That was the thing for sure.
And like,
it was like 12.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's such a weird thing.
He learned so young.
That's right up there with like quicksand and all that.
Yeah.
Oh, you know, it's good one, by the way?
I meant to say it earlier.
Things that you worry about that aren't true. Getting
sucked into an escalator.
My parents, adults are always telling
me, like, I thought
that was going to happen once a day at the mall.
Don't be the person who gets
sucked into the escalator.
I guess my shoelace could get in there
And I could get eaten by it
Did you say you know someone it happened to?
No I was saying
That's one of your fears?
Take your shoe off
Oh yeah yeah yeah
I would take my shoe off
Take your shoe off to go on the escalator?
Just if it got stuck
How's your leg fear going Jack it's it's under control right now i would say like yeah you really sound like
it's it's it's under control no that's good like but like it was so bad in high school that's so
bad so weird i never had a fear like that i never had like a overcoming fear like like i pretended to be
scared of spiders and snakes when everyone was like when you're a child i'm like oh that's
different that like like there's spiders right there and whether it's silly or not like that
you know if you're afraid of a spider you think it could bite you or something it's right there
to just be like i'm sitting on the couch what if like something falls through the sky and
chops my leg off?
It's so fucking crazy.
It's so fucking crazy.
But did you have you?
You never had like an Iraq quote unquote irrational fear?
Not on that level of like like something.
Also, I think most fears are rational.
I get losing a random limb.
Isn't I mean, losing a leg.
I'm afraid of losing a limb, too.
Yeah, I just it's not going to happen.
You have.
Yeah, I have that fear at a limb too. Yeah. I just, it's not going to happen. You have the, yeah, I have that fear at a rational level.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I,
if I was like a,
if I worked in like a factory or something,
I'd be like,
this could happen to me.
That's my number one fear.
If I worked in a factory,
I would lose a limb before lunch.
Like there is,
there is no doubt about that
you'd be like in a pit of lava or whatever you'd be like we don't even have lava here how do you do
that he spilled so much stuff he created lava the fuck bro i i i mean i i was a landscaper they
didn't let me use lawnmowers. I painted houses for a minute
and they were like, no, you can't be up there.
That wasn't them. That was my mom.
Imagine you were the crew of guys like,
you're painting the roof today. My mom says
I can't. My mom said no.
I climbed down that ladder. I was texting
my mom on top of the ladder. I was like, I'm hungover.
I feel like I'm going to fall. She said, you should quit and find
a new job. I climbed right down that ladder.
My mom says I got to quit. My mom says quit.
And I felt
so bad about it. I love that you were texting up on the ladder.
I'm going to fall.
That's why she said, get down.
We'll continue the conversation when you're on the ground.
Maybe a sailboat's more your speed.
I was like, yeah, a sailboat
with a bar on it? Yeah, I'll get it.
There you go.
Drinking and boating.
Drinking and driving.
That one's one.
Bro, drinking and driving should be legal.
I don't understand why it's not.
No.
Yes, dude.
Dude, drinking and driving drunk should be illegal.
Right.
Drinking and driving should be legal.
That is cool.
That is cool.
You're right.
You're right. As long as you can blow. Sip it on a cold cool yeah you're right you're right as long as you can blow on a
cold one bro you can blow below 0.08 or 0.8 whatever the world then you can if that's half
a beer you had on the road that's fine you should be able to do that yeah there should be no open
container left dude i i i've i've been beating this drum since i was 16 driving up to canada
uh like like when we go skiing go skiing Because usually when you go skiing
The mountain is still an hour off the highway
Once you're on like 95 or something like that
93
And the second we got off the highway
We'd start drinking
Because it's about an hour to the mountain
And you usually have like a beer or two
And we'd be like I don't understand how this is breaking the law right now
I still don't get it
Why can't you drink and drive
nah bro i bet you if you were drunk and you fucked somebody up though you'd be drunk oh yeah you'd
probably be in trouble but like no that's that was the whole paltrow thing everybody's drunk
yeah like it's actually skiing when you think about it is one of the craziest things we do because like everyone's drunk yeah and and maybe this is kind of like this is just me
projecting i'm like well i ski with 10 people and we're all drunk all the time so that must be how
everyone is like i mean like you want to go skiing with my dad and his friends, like, yeah, you're out there first track at, like, 8 o'clock.
But then by, like, 9, 15, it's like, grab a beer.
It's a bizarre thing that we need.
It's like you're up there for, like, the rush and the view and the athleticism of it all.
And then it's like, let's get drunk.
Yeah, let's have a bit of a buzz.
Don't make it too easy to ski down this mountain.
Let's go about 45 miles an hour down this thing.
Let's get drunk.
45 miles an hour through the woods.
You guys want to add a twist to this?
The whole thing's a twist, dude.
We're 15,000 feet up on fucking knives in the snow going through the forest.
Yeah, but if we had a bus.
Let's make it edgy.
He brings up a good point, though, guys.
It would be a little more fun if we had maybe a flask of whiskey with us.
I remember one time we went climbing.
We scaled the mountain because it was closed.
We scaled the mountain
to ski it, just one run.
And it was a small mountain.
And so we're like up hiking and
we got all our stuff on us and one of our friends were like mind you by the way everyone else had
snowshoes i was just oh my god in shoes so i was just falling through fucking through every step
to the point where i was trying to crawl slowly because like not break even my elbows would go through it so i was trying to crawl slowly up a mountain and i obviously got damn you're stupid
incredibly tired because i was like every every step was the hardest step i've ever taken on your
back or something yeah yeah and i was like every step was just the hardest step i've ever taken
and i was like yo rob let me get some of that water and he was like what do you mean and I was like, yo, Rob, let me get some of that water. And he was like, what do you mean? And I was like, I saw you bring like a fucking Yeti type thing.
Like, let me get, I'm dying.
He's like, I just have whiskey.
And I was like, all right, do you have any food?
He's got a couple of Snickers bars.
I was like, give me the whiskey, give me the Snickers bars.
I'll go down from here.
All right, let's get into our interview.
We got Josh Gad on the show.
He's got a very funny show on Broadway out right now.
Gutenberg.
It's great.
It's a great time in the theater.
It is.
There is.
I say this to Josh.
You know, I feel like people think of theater as like Hamlet.
Yeah.
They think of Shakespeareans like that.
Most of the theater is just people having fun on stage.
And it is very fun.
It's a great, great time.
And you know what?
Josh Gad is great at chop.
Great chop.
Really good at chop.
He's chopping it up.
We're talking football.
We're talking sports.
Just a good hang.
So it's Josh Gad on KC Radio.
Let's talk to him.
What's up, brother?
Doing good?
Doing great.
I'm a little, you know, it's depressing the day after your team loses.
What's your team?
Dolphins. Oh, but fuck off, though,
because, you know, things are going good.
Things are going good, but when, well,
we'll save this for the show, but. This is a show.
Oh, we're starting a show. Okay.
So, you know,
when your team
is being
talked about in the same sentence as potential Super Bowl contenders, you got to win those big ones.
And the evidence suggests that we can't.
It's good that you hung 70 on the Broncos.
And then the next week we lose by 20 plus points to the Bills. points the bills so it's like yeah we we just i'm i've been surprised at sort of the defensive
uh kind of ineptitude in some of these games because i i was kind of all in on our defenses
here and it's been a little shocking to see that we're not quite one of the elite defenses are you
from from there i'm born and raised in hollywood. So I'm a Lifer, Heat fan, Dolphins fan.
Is Hollywood, Florida, like, is that a weird town?
Very.
I was going to say, almost every town.
It's as weird as it sounds.
But I went to FSU.
Oh, yeah.
My niece went there.
I had a good buddy who was from Celebration, Florida.
Oh, that's crazy.
That's like a Disney town.
Dude, it was nuts.
You ever heard of it?
No.
It's like on Disney campus.
It's like real life, but it's Disney.
And I went to his house.
Imagine a neighborhood built by Disney.
Yeah.
It's exactly weird.
Welcome to Celebration, Florida.
And if that wasn't weird enough, he had seven ferrets.
Oh. So what? That tracks. Yeah, that what that tracks dude i don't care where you are having one ferret is like oh you're in the weird town having seven ferrets it's like you're from outer space i feel like it's a
prerequisite for living in celebration you must have at least one you must have over two ferrets
it's just a ferret my buddy matt swerdlow must have over two ferrets. It was just a ferret's room. They just let them go. My buddy Matt Swerdlow
used to have two ferrets
and I slept over his place a lot
and he would let the ferrets
roam at night
and it was a nightmare.
And they would just
like crawl over you?
Not only would they crawl,
they would nip at my toes
and I would forever be terrified.
I would like literally roll the entire blanket around my body so that the ferrets could have the least amount of access.
We're talking like middle school, like young –
Middle school, yeah.
I'm thinking about like when you sleep over someone's house.
It's actually a very funny topic because it's always a little bit weird when like you're at someone's house and you're like –
The bathroom situation's
weird the food situation's weird you know all that shit and that's when i went to a normal
person's house where they had like a puppy no it's just ferrets you're like you know i remember
being when i first started sleepovers being it was like you know i'm gonna stay the night you
know i'm not gonna be scared but if i had ferrets nipping at my toes. Ferrets, they had like seven cats.
They had a dog.
It was wild. It was wild.
But I was terrified.
And you have to swaddle yourself to fall asleep.
By the way, ferrets surprisingly smell like shit.
No, you don't say.
Absolutely the worst smelling creatures that God's ever created outside of possums.
I think if you have anything other than a dog or a cat, I think you're weird.
Yeah.
Well, there's – I used to have buddies with snakes.
Yeah.
I had a camp counselor with a giant – two pythons.
And he would let the pythons roam at night at Camp Blue Ridge.
That's how – that's how little kids are. at night at camp blue ridge and there was there was a night where this this python took a shit
all over my bed and it was gigantic and i i remember like i remember being so terrified
because i was like this thing could strangle me in the middle of the night i'm really this is good
therapy about yeah in terms with the amount of. I've been sort of abused by animals.
Dude, I don't think I've ever thought about a python taking a dog.
Yeah.
Is it all like white?
No, it's like a white.
It's white.
Yeah, it's like liquidy and white and filthy.
Oh, but does like his body go up?
You know what I mean?
I've never actually watched a snake.
You saw the aftermath. I saw the aftermath. But you know what I mean? I've never actually watched a snake. You saw the aftermath.
I saw the aftermath.
But you know what?
Just physics of it.
Yeah.
If you're shitting on the ground, you would have to go up.
Sort of like, yeah, plane releasing fuel.
Yes.
Yeah.
Anyway, the Dolphins defense.
I don't know how we got there.
We just recently hired a guy here who is a Miamiami fan but prior to that i don't think i
really know any i don't think i've ever personally known any miami fans we're very ashamed to admit
yeah yeah but i mean the heat were great like you had a great run with the heat the heat are still
great i mean it's so funny to me that like the heat have been to the finals twice in the last
like three years and people still have an asterisk next to them because they always sort of overachieve and overdeliver.
Which is a good thing.
Which is a great place.
To me, that's like – I mean it's Pat Riley, man.
It's Pat Riley.
The Knicks had Pat Riley.
They had one of those generational – not even generational, just all-time immortal basketball minds who you just give the keys to the car and you say, do whatever you want.
You have the keys to the castle.
And by the way, Spolstra's like that.
Yeah, Spolstra's great.
That combo.
But again, because Riley sees these guys.
You have a coach and a GM like that or whatever he is.
No, he cultures real things.
And we've got Messi now. It's a fun time to be a miami fan but being a dolphin fan you know i was born in
81 i never got the luxury of those those undefeated that undefeated season yeah super bowl victory
when did marino get drafted 80 80 okay so like your childhood. 80 or 81. Wow. Somewhere between 80 and 82 is when he became.
I guess it's because of like the comparisons that would come with Peyton and Brady.
Like I always thought he was the generation right before that.
Well, he was playing then.
Yeah.
He played until like 93.
But yeah.
Yeah.
He was because when I was growing up, when I was sort of old enough to understand, the Dolphins training camp was across the street from my middle school, high school in Davie, Florida.
And Dan had a son who went to the school, so they built the facility right there.
So I would go and watch practices with Marino all the time in the early 90s.
Yeah.
That's very sad.
Having one of those careers without a ring is just the worst.
That sucks.
I remember believing
that Jimmy Johnson
when he came was going to
deliver the Super Bowl.
And then
we had Saban.
You guys had Saban. Wasn we you guys had Saban did he have
wasn't he like weeks did he leave after a week
he left after one season
two seasons was it I thought he was
one of those where it was just like ah nevermind I'm going back to
it was pretty quick
it wasn't quite
no we've had so much turmoil and like
now we've got McDaniel who's
incredible and you're just
like it's now or never.
Did you see that clip of him?
I think it was this week or maybe they played it this week from last week
where he's on his mic and he was like,
somebody tell me if I'm an idiot speak up here,
but I think I'm just going to throw the ball on every play this drive.
And it was,
it was like,
and then I saw the stat sheet.
It was like 10 plays for 87 yards.
I think it was a field goal,
but it was like,
it is.
It's very funny.
I'm open to – you can say no.
But I think I'm going to throw the button.
He's so brilliant.
He's so funny.
He's like one of our buddies.
Dan Soder is a very funny comedian.
He grew up with McDaniel.
And the – it's so weird when your friends start doing things. He grew up literally with McDaniel?
They're like middle school best friends.
No way.
Yeah.
So like Dan's gone to like a bunch of the games.
Oh my god.
When he was the offensive coordinator over in San Francisco, he's like, I was hanging out in the hotel room with him before where he's like, you want to know the first 15 for tomorrow?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And like it must be such a weird thing.
Because like I have it to a much lesser extent with like friends who are lawyers now or doctors.
Right.
And I'm like, I know you're a fucking idiot
like
people go to you for like
financial advisors anything like that I'm like I
know you're dumb I know like I knew
you as a child I know the dumb shit you do
how are you in charge of a football team
now you're the head of a
I don't know a billion dollar franchise
yeah and you see any by the way like he
openly comes off as like a stoner, which is the funniest thing ever.
We're talking with Dennis.
Yeah, I think we're heading into a time where like that generation is going to be head coaches or CEOs or whatever.
It's kind of like a fun inverse of like the Bill Belichick's of the world.
Yeah, yeah.
You don't have to be like that. Because there was like this whole umbrella under Parcells
that sort of like were these very self-serious coaches
who were like, it's, you know,
it's all about X's and O's and nothing else matters.
And now you've got these guys,
and I would say, you know, it's this kind of,
this generation, but even a little bit,
you see it in what's-his-face, the coach of Kansas City.
Like he's got that sense of humor.
Yeah, Andy Reid, yeah.
Andy Reid's got that kind of like winning sensibility.
Yep.
Also like more offensive-minded coaches seem to be like funnier than defensive.
Well, you know what?
That's a good point.
I really think there's something to that.
I was thinking about this recently I think to be a really good offensive head coach
You almost have to be creative
In a way to come up with new shit
And I think your brain probably works
The way a creative person does
Not that you don't have to scheme in defense
But I just think defense is much more like
You're an aggressive ground and pound
We're just going to fucking kill you
And offensive guys are more like
How can I, you know I would're they're more how can we run
away from the fight rather than how to start the fight those are the guys who are you know
as opposed to how can we start yeah yeah that's really what it comes down to um but speaking of
creative we have talked about gutenberg yes dude it's so awesome thank you man it's so much fun it's wild isn't it it's it's crazy
that i goes to a lot of shows i'm a big broadway guy i mean i have not heard him talk about like
well it was so funny because rannells andrew rannells and i you know did book of mormon
together and and the thing about book of mormon was it was was it was so sort of groundbreaking in that like a lot of people who didn't go to Broadway shows were like, this is the musical for me.
Yeah.
Like it was subversive.
It just kind of changed the paradigm of what musical comedy could be.
And so it was like really hard to find even a reason to follow that up, you know, which is why it took me kind of a decade to come back
to broadway that if you walked away and were just like that's my thing i'd be like and that was my
that was kind of my plan like i didn't you know andrew's come back and done a couple of shows but
i didn't really have the incentive i live in la i've got kids it was really hard to to sort of
commit to something and the director alex timbers sent me this script and was like, you know,
I want you to read this. Tell me what you think. I directed it off Broadway in 2006.
I think you're going to like it, but let me know. I was sort of skeptical. Anything with
anything called blah, blah, blah, the musical worries me because it just feels like it's kind
of empty calories. I was like, I don't know so i i came in with a prejudice against what it was going to be even based on the title
and i read it and i listened to the music and i was like fuck this is so funny yeah and i was i
called him up and i said the only person i would do this with is andrew rannells and he goes well
funny you should say that i sent the script to him too and i'm like you motherfucker playing us against each other so i um and you you linked up with him for book of mormon just for your friends or no andrew i i was
involved with mormon from like the very first workshop in 2008 hell yeah and they found andrew
was the last person we auditioned and he came in and just killed it as Price.
And I had done workshops with three other dudes playing that role.
And when Andrew came in, you were just like, there's nobody else.
Like he, the way I say it is he was the first person who intimidated me in that role.
So I knew, I knew it was him.
And we just had this incredible chemistry and we were like, got to find a reason to
like exploit that again and do it. So we a workshop we did a reading of it uh and we left it was just me
andrew the director and the the two writers scott and anthony and we were like yeah this feels right
and that was march of 2020 a week later the world shut down and it was sort of out of sight out of mind and
last fall last winter you know timbers calls us up and says look there's a window do you guys want
to do this this year we can get this done 20 weeks limited run and i was like you know what if not now if not now then when
and so i said yes and you know the the script what does that mean a window just like the theater
like they're like basically like what andrew and i had you're both a free well we didn't realize
there were going to be multiple strikes that would be freer than ever but at the time yeah
we had this like free window we had a theater that was interested so the pieces just fell in
place right and you know the the thing about the show is it's so relentlessly funny and it's like a
it's like a comedy rock concert every night the audience goes nuts but what was so compelling
about it which was the thing that book of mormon also had was it
has so much heart yeah it's a love letter to like dreamers everywhere and um that just felt like
exciting especially at a time when like broadway's struggling to find itself again post-covid it felt
like such a love letter to musical theater to musicals in general to comedy in general
and it's been really refreshing to see
the audience respond to that i i got that very much added because i i go to i don't know i've
probably seen most of what's on broadway i see i see a lot and there are some times where it's
more a serious production where like a great a great one i saw fairly recently with brian
kranz in the network oh god how good was that act like it was gorgeous it was incredible and you guys are so but like there's also a side of of broadway where it's like it's
people having fun yeah and you guys are so clearly having like a blast and it's such a weird story
intentionally yeah yeah right you said uh something about broadway comedy like struggles to find its
voice or something earlier and i think that's like it it's not something typically you know i i think of broadway as you know um higher
society and not right funny no because it's like meant to be serious i was so i was so excited
about coming on this podcast today because i was like or this this is it a podcast or yeah
i want to use the correct word but i was so excited to come on today
because it's like this is the kind of audience we want right like it's so fun to hear how many
people come up to me and go i hate musical theater and i fucking loved that's it dude anyone who
hates musical theater just hasn't been to the good musical theater yeah because like here at
barstool sports most of the people wouldn't do you think our theater people
right and i've taken a handful of people i'm like yo come with me to this show like come with me to
the show and no one's ever been like i'm mad i can't do that everyone's like that was fucking
awesome again it's awesome it's so much fun what um ben schwartz and tom middle did shit for improv
yeah it was like you know improv is the nerdy dorky thing and then i saw that show and i was
like that was you know what it is i think of barstool 2 is whether or not you may be a Broadway person or an improv person, I don't know.
But you can just see the talent level of like – even if it's not your cup of tea, you might – I was just like – and it was.
It turned out to be.
I loved it.
But I was also like, holy fucking shit.
These guys are incredible.
It takes a lot.
As an actor, theater is by far
the hardest thing gotta be right has to do it's physically vocally demanding it just requires
your voice in particular during this show you're doing a lot of play 20 characters literally
andrew and i wear literally 150 hats that's gotta be to be – I mean, I tell you, I'm supposed to train for that.
You do.
You completely have to train for it.
I'm not what you would call physically fit.
So I – like it was wild prepping for this show and just getting to a place where like I could even have the stamina to get through it because we're on stage for two hours straight with an intermission.
We are our own cast
of 40 we are yet it's a two-man show it's a two-man show yeah but we play all these characters
we're our own crew we have all this choreography and then we use hats to distinguish between each
character and so we're doing this ballet of hats that requires like you know that's crazy watching
that and like the secondary happening like i woulduity that is so hard. That's crazy. Watching that and the secondary happening.
I would sometimes just follow either you or Andrew when you went to rearrange the hats.
And I was like, that's got to be tough to keep like a secondary thing.
It's all tough.
It's all so difficult but so fun.
How does a show pick like when it's a one-man show or like a two-man show?
Like why not just have a full cast?
Is it a money thing or is it like you wanted to challenge yourself or is it the conceit of the show is that it's these two guys
who have literally spent all their money to rent a broadway theater for one night i see so to try
to get a broadway producer to give them a broadway contract to do the show for real right and what's
so funny is like the show,
the show within the show
is the most batshit crazy thing ever written.
Right, right.
These two guys clearly have done no research
about Johann Gutenberg, the subject matter.
It would be like doing a show about Alexander Hamilton
and reading nothing more than he's on
a piece of monetary paper.
And that's the limit of what they've essentially studied.
See, that is a funny premise.
So they're making up all this shit as they go,
and the stakes couldn't be higher
because if they don't get the funding to do the show,
they're broke.
So these guys have no business being on stage.
And therein lies the comedy of it,
is that they're putting their hearts on their
sleeves they're doing this show with the hope that at the end of the day somebody in the audience
will say yes and there's this great ending that i won't spoil that involves these cameos that
that every night come to the show uh we've had everybody from like nathan lane to christian
slater to john st john how does that work
that's what i was gonna ask that i i exactly levi at mine exactly um well without telling people how
the sausage gets made exactly it's it's this great moment sort of at the end of the show where
you know it's the apex of the show these guys have put their entire dream out there and there's this great payoff to that and basically early on we asked a bunch of of
close friends to do it and you know it was it was tough getting people to commit to something
without knowing and now it's been the opposite now like every celebrity wants to do it what if
like there's two and we're getting two or three at night? Well, the coolest one – we're starting to run into that.
The coolest one was we just had Steve Guttenberg, which was, like, my –
because so many people think the show is about Steve Guttenberg from Police Academy, which it's not.
That is great.
And so, like, getting him was, like –
We're doing, like doing like three four levels
lin-manuel miranda did it the other night and just got such a is it like uh i'd imagine you
you don't have to train much for it's like a quick no you the the the cameos come about
an hour before the show starts we sort of walk them through there's something on the teleprompter
to show them what they have to say and and that's so what happens now when when when someone's like
i'm coming to your show on on you know saturday night it's like well we already got well you know
who else is coming by the way so this literally happened to me last night i went to the premiere
of um the new stephen son high musical and is that barely we roll along no no no no this is um the the one that's at the um at the
the uh what's the name of the place it's the it was sondheim's last musical before he died oh i
know yes and it's it's it's really cool it's it's really beautiful and zach quinto came up to me and
told me he's coming thursday night and i was like, oh, he's like, maybe I can be the producer.
And I'm like, we've got somebody already.
But like Matt Bomer came the other day and wanted to do it.
And we had somebody.
So we're starting to run into that.
Should have been a day one fan, guys.
Sorry it took you so long.
I'd always wondered how that happens from the Netflix special from Oh, Hello.
And I was like, was Steve Martin just in the crowd?
Or was like, is that?
No, by the way, our director directed Oh, Hello.
No way.
Same sort of principle.
And Gutenberg was apparently what inspired Nick and John to do Oh, Hello.
Really?
They both saw the off-Broadway show and the upright citizens brigade version and i think
they were just so blown away that they got no kidding that makes a lot of sense alex to come
in most of what yeah you guys do a great job too of skewering is not the right word but you got you
you uh you you have fun with broadway as a whole where you're talking about like the production and
the recipe you need what pieces i don't want to give away jokes like that but like what pieces make a great broadway production or what gets you made
right now and all that stuff it's so meta it's so meta it's the most meta thing i've ever been a
part of and it's it's kind of fun because it works on two levels if you're a giant fan of broadway
you will get all of the references but if you're not a giant fan of broadway you will appreciate how much
they're butchering that thing that you are always hesitant about yeah so it really works quite well
on on those levels again in the same way book of mormon sort of played for like audiences who
appreciate musical theater trey and matt were like students of musical theater and so like they're writing a traditional musical that
undercuts all of the elements of what you know as musical theater so it's the same kind of principle
the uh you gave me one of my my greatest moments as a as a son uh for the during the show and i
turned the show right before the show is uh i had a date to go to the show
they bailed and i was just telling my mom i was like yeah i'm gonna go alone and she happened to
be in connecticut we're from massachusetts but she happened to be in connecticut visiting my
sister and she's like i'll just come and i was like oh great and like my mom is a big broadway
fan so i like it because we used to go all the time as a kid and i get recognized a lot with
people who like my dad thinks is cool
or sports fans
and stuff like that.
My mom doesn't give a shit
about that.
And walking into the play,
I was going to get my tickets
at Will Call
and the person at the box office
was like,
oh, hey, John.
And grabbed my tickets
and handed them to me
and didn't ask for my ID.
And I was like,
did the person at the box office
on Broadway just recognize you?
Yes, that's what mom was like.
I was like, I think so.
I was trying to play it cool where I was like, I think so. I was trying to play
cool where I was like, I think it's crazy too.
You know what this is? This is the sign that Broadway's
going down the tube.
Also, like, badass.
I love that my ticket people
listen to Barstool.
That is awesome.
I'm going to go up to them and say, yes, guys.
I feel like I have nobody to talk to.
Andrew literally – when I'm watching Sunday football in my dressing room on YouTube,
Andrew will come in and say, oh, you're watching sports ball again?
I have nobody to talk to.
At the risk of sounding ignorant and stupid, I judged a book by its cover.
I did not expect you to come in and start talking about the Dolphins defense.
I just didn't see that coming i'm a diehard yeah yeah it's funny that
like uh i i it's like why why we do that i don't know you know it's like why you can't appreciate
more than one thing it's actually really it's it's been problematic because i have afternoon
shows on Sundays.
And so like I came to appreciate so much being in LA and watching football at 10 AM.
And now I can basically only get through the first two quarters and then I'm fucked because
I have to go on stage.
So I'll run downstairs in like a heap of sweat.
Check the score.
And check the score.
And I'll usually catch like the last 10 minutes
at intermission.
But it's been really frustrating
getting Sunday ticket this year
and being so fucked up.
Dude, that is something I'm happy you're doing it
on this show too.
Because the thought of a guy on Broadway
running down to catch the two-minute warning
in the middle of intermission
and then like running back out there potentially like they just lost the game and you're fucking
fuming or or they just won the game and all you want to do is like call your buddy and talk about
it you got to get back out there oh no and i'm gonna group chat with like all my friends so i'll
be like what did i miss what like fill me in like what last night i was at the premiere of the
sondheim show and I was literally checking my phone
because we had the Sunday night football game
and I was like fuck I've got to get home and see this game
I really didn't need to get home
and watch that game
I should have missed it
did you
are you living separate from your family
I was just going to ask the same thing
what's such a bummer
it sucks so do you do do you like do a rental place do you stay in another
like friend's house i know i'm staying in a rental that the theater pays for that the the producers
pay for and it's it's great love this place and and the kids and my wife come out basically once
a month so they came for labor So they came for Labor Day.
They came for the opening, which was two weeks ago.
They'll come again in November.
Then they'll come Christmas and New Year's.
How old are you kids?
I've got a 12-year-old and a 9-year-old, both girls.
So they are old enough to get it too, right?
Yeah, it's so – and I'm sure you've spoken to a lot of entertainment people like me who find this, but it's rarer and rarer to shoot things in LA.
Most of the time I'm shooting in places like London or Australia most recently.
And so being in New York is actually better.
It's more convenient and easier.
I actually get to see them more than if I were shooting abroad.
More than you would if you didn't fly to Australia. Exactly. convenient and easier i actually get to see them more than if i were shooting abroad australia
exactly so like when i was shooting wolf like me in australia they they came out for like six weeks
and that was amazing because we got to travel and go see all these incredible places um but
generally it's really hard yeah i feel like 12 and 9 is probably old enough to though to like they i mean we did uh
we did a game show the other week we did barcelona survivor yeah in the office you have to stay in
the office compete in the games and get voted off like survivor right and if you made it to the end
it was monday to uh to thursday if you made it all the way and i would have seen my kids during
those days.
But I'm divorced.
So I still – I wouldn't have even seen them every day anyway.
But I told them.
I'm like, I can't leave.
I cannot leave this place for four days if I do well.
They started crying.
I was like they're eight and seven.
I was like – and they're – so they're like right, I think, about to like get it more.
But like there are times – at the most, we travel for four or five days at a time it's really hard and i'm like yeah i mean if i ever had to be like i gotta go for 20 weeks it's it's really look thank god for facetime yeah i speak to them every
morning i speak to them every afternoon i speak to them every night and it gets us through and it's it's the one thing about like doing this now is like the
technology exists that i don't feel as desperately separated from them as i am i wonder are they at
the age where you're where they're getting off the facetime or were you like i don't have kids
but i have like friends who have well it's what it's it's like pulling teeth to get any
information out right so like if i ask them about school i have to ask them a bunch of leading
questions yeah or else i'll get nothing and even with the leading questions it's the bare minimum
answers so it's like how was science today what did you do and they'll just give me like one phrase but i'm gonna stand up for
those kids i'm gonna stand up for kids who give the one word answers i know it's all of them yeah
because they every single one because it's so you're standing up for children because because
if you're an adult who's given longer than that they're just ready they know like you're asking
how was your day yeah they give you a 10 minutes on their day you know what's really sweet you know
what's actually really sweet they ask me about every show really how did tonight's show go what like
tell us about it they were really pissed that they missed john stamos they're
like unhealthily obsessed with full house really isn't that cool oh is it full house or fuller
house they're obsessed with full house the original yes yeah that's cool they were not
fans of fuller i don't think many people were.
Stamos has his memoir coming out.
Yeah, it's great.
I've been reading it.
Send me a copy.
Who did he find in bed with his wife?
From Full House?
No, no, no.
It was someone who was very –
Oh, it was –
I haven't gotten that far yet.
I just saw the headline.
I didn't read it yet.
Dude, by the way, I mean if someone is cheating on John Stamos, none of us got a shot. Yeah, by the headline. I didn't read it yet. Dude, by the way, I mean, if someone is cheating on John Stamos,
none of us got a shot.
Yeah, by the way.
That means, like, nobody can hold down anybody.
John is one of the, like, I don't know if he's a vampire.
Tony Dan's on it.
Oh, shit.
By the way, who my kids are also obsessed with,
because they've been watching that show.
Oh, they're obsessed. Who's the boss?
Oh, they're obsessed with who's the boss.
Are you making your kids watch this?
You introduce it and they like it?
My wife and I have basically made it our goal to give them a pop cultural education that will give them the foundation for a great adulthood.
So their favorite movies are Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller.
Wow.
Their favorite shows.
Are they watching new shit though?
Do you ban that?
They're watching new shit.
But they like action.
No, we don't ban it.
But like.
But it's just better.
They appreciate.
Like they're the ones who say to us.
God, you guys had such better stuff than we did.
Really?
Which is amazing.
I'm trying with my kids.
And it's like.
The only thing that they didn't love that pissed me off and like almost caused us a real family rift was the goonies
they really didn't get it and i was like you guys you guys have to understand my my dad did
basically the same thing with me which is funny thinking back on it where it's like
like it's kind of like an experiment you're doing like can i just make him me yeah it kind of is yeah like if i just give him exactly what i got will he by the way they're
watching growing pains now they fucking love it but see i i also feel like uh every generation
probably does this oh yeah but i feel like we're actually right this time no we are we are and i
know that i know every generation by the way too. But I feel like we really are.
Like, I do think there was an argument to be made that, like, at one point, the younger shit did start getting better than the older shit just because of, like, it was a new medium.
It was a new technology.
It was new everything.
And now we're kind of in the other direction where it's like, no, this really was better.
I promise you. What's so fascinating is, like, watching, like, my niece and nephew nephew become they're not obsessed with like
shows right now their favorite shows are friends in the office yeah well we actually just talked
about that when we had an rs shafir comedian on and we were talking about how like suits is like
this big moment right and we're like i was saying how it's funny that when shows that were created
when they had big writing staffs and the writers were on set a lot and all this stuff they'll get
on streaming and they'll go crazy popular and people will be like this is great and it's like yeah
how do they look like how do they do this well they used to pay everybody yeah they had towns
of people working hard on it they weren't churning out fucking garbage fucking right
like when suits was on tv it was a it was a very good show it was very popular but like no one
nothing like this amazing it was like become the most streamed show ever, which is so wild to me.
But also a testament to like, yeah, like we've lost a little bit of that.
Like we're not, you know, Seinfeld.
I grew up with Seinfeld.
I grew up with Cheers.
I grew up with like Frasier.
Well, Frasier's back.
But like those kinds of shows, they don't make them anymore i i remember
reading a tweet from a writer whose name escapes me now during the strike where she was like it's
it's actually great that the strike is happening because now i'm finally meeting the people i'm
writing for because they weren't paying for writers to go to set and so like that like
that's as hard there's no connection there's no nothing you don't know what uh what who you're writing for you don't know what you're supposed to be writing like i mean that's crazy
yeah that that i mean that that to me is just like you know that means it's a lesser quality
product than it was so you know maybe i'm the old man at the club yelling at the cloud but i think
there's genuine there's a real like tangible answer to it and you know what what i've missed
the most is like i remember
sitting down and watching basically whatever my parents wanted to watch but i was just happy to
be watching tv it was just like whatever's on at 7 30 whatever's on eight o'clock right before
bedtime where we all watched um star trek the next generation and then we watched like
one of the nbc obsessed with yeah my buddy seth and i seth gable and i literally during covid
we went back and watched all of next generation it's incredible that show it's incredible it's
up so well it's all like allegories and all this shit but i it was just you know uh my dad like
jeopardy we watched yeah like and then we would watch you know one like whatever the eight o'clock
you know spin city just shoot me whatever that was'clock, you know, spin city, just shoot me, whatever that was.
And now it's like, they all have their own iPads.
They all have their own likes and dislikes and can, and access all of it.
And there's no like, well, let's all watch this together because it's the last communal.
Yeah.
It's the last communal watch.
A little bit of movies, but still a little bit like Barbenheimer this summer.
It was huge. I'd argue sports even lost it and and i i felt that
when everyone started doing their own streamings or their own because everything's a little like
where it still doesn't feel super community like someone's if i'm following you have a super hard
out in two minutes i was just about to think i was like we are rolling right now we could do this
like two more hours but they're telling me you have to go um the uh where it's just like i'm 30 seconds
behind because i'm watching on espn plus and one person's watching on cable and that honestly i
used to think that was silly but that like 30 seconds makes a difference so i there was a while
it was right before covid where we would i would have people over every Sunday to watch football together. And I would have them stay and watch Game of Thrones after.
And like –
That's great.
It was the fucking greatest thing.
Yeah.
I would get these big groups and we would all like just make a day of it.
I'd order pizza, wings.
We would just have like that communal experience.
And like I want us to get back to that.
There's a difference too too it's like sports is
cool but it's very passive you can be on your phone you can check in and out you can treat
cheer yell you're talking if you can get all your friends to do a movie night or watch a show
together and then you talk about it afterwards or like you react oh i love that and that's just
gone you're here for 20 weeks i'm here for 20 weeks i got no family guys let Let's do it. It's gone. You're here for 20 weeks. I'm here for 20 weeks. I got no family, guys.
Let's fucking do it.
You're going to catch Josh on the couch in between shows.
No, I hope we get back to that.
I think we will.
I think that's a great thing about the theater.
That's why I came back.
I missed that communal experience there.
Doing a film and doing TV is amazing,
but it's so much lonelier than performing for an audience where you get that
instant gratification.
You get that sense that you've actually done something that has affected them
in real time through laughter,
through tears,
whatever it is,
that is such a
unique experience and you can't replicate it in any other form in our medium yeah and i fucking
love that about it can i can i ask one question before you go totally is i don't know i want to
know if it was my narcissism or if people who got tickets from the show are always in those seats
i felt like either you or and Andrew kept looking over where I am.
And I was like,
I was like,
are they looking?
I didn't think anyone knew who I was.
That's so funny.
But I didn't know if I was in a seat where like a reviewer or like where
people usually are.
No,
our,
in fact,
our director has been so kind of clear with us that we need to spread our
looks everywhere.
I think sometimes we sort of like –
I think sometimes it's literally eyeline.
So I'll just sort of like look straight out and it will probably hit wherever that is.
Yeah.
Because I find myself staring in like a certain direction.
But it's not conscious.
It's totally subconscious.
I was walking out.
I was like – That's so funny. I was walking out. I was like to my mom.
That's so funny.
I was like,
did you think they were looking over in our direction a lot?
She was like, nope.
And I was like, all right.
It's definitely not.
I'm definitely not conscious of you.
I apologize to the rest of the audience for not looking your way.
One last question.
Let's say you're at a show,
and let's say Taylor Swift said she wants to be the producer in the show.
Yeah.
And who else shows up and asks for it as well?
I mean, it doesn't matter.
No, it doesn't matter.
It would be Taylor?
Beyonce and Taylor Swift both show up the same day.
I want to apologize to Oprah now for having to postpone your cameo,
but we live in a swift world.
Alright, very last thing too.
We're already one minute past. What's the craziest
thing someone can open at
during a show?
Because I was at Hadestown, and
someone next to me brought their, because the
Applebee's is right there, someone brought their
leftover calamari and just popped
the top. Yeah, he was horrified.
We actually had a segment on here
that was like make broadway like i decided we had a pretty big celebrity at book of mormon
uh smoke one of those very early e-cigarettes that made this actress look like cruella deville
so it was like this long cigarette and she was smoking it in the third row during the show
and that was one of the weirdest things calamari beats it calamari I was like looking around
people I was like I don't know this person I'm not with them guys come see the show man
yeah I would love to see it I'll go see it yeah so much fun guys សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Bye.