KFC Radio - Josh Hopkins, Caribbean Bowling, and the Death Snail

Episode Date: June 4, 2019

KFC and Feits chat with Josh Hopkins about Whiskey Cavalier, being strikingly handsome, cabarets in Prague, and True Detective. The Clancy brothers do more nerd talk after their appearance on Robbie Fox's podcast My Mom's Basement. The blue check brigade making a fool of themselves trying to come at Zero Blog Thirty. Voicemails: drinking dip, death snail, live in the worst state or never in the USA, selling sperm, best feeling ever You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio, presented by Postmates, brought to you by Omaha Steaks. It's Omaha Steaks season because it is Father's Day. Father's Day is upon us, and it is the most difficult holiday, quote-unquote holiday, I use the term very loosely to shop for every other gift that is built up as a father's day present, quote unquote sucks. All those gifts are terrible. You hand them to your father and he hates you. He opens it up and he goes, I hate you so much.

I hate my family. Why have I done this? Because it's like a tie or a power tool or a shirt that he can wear to work or some goofy dad shit. It's all terrible. You don't want to have him open up a gift on Father's Day and say, I hate you. What you want is to have him open up a gift and say, oh, my God, how did you afford this? How could you possibly have gotten this? This is actually good for the first time in like 30 years. Something's actually paid off here.

Now I know why I had kids, because I knew that one day in the far, far future, you would get me a shit ton of Omaha steaks. Right now, the father's day package includes two filet mignons, two top sirloins, two pork chops, four Omaha steak burgers, four gourmet Frank, four crispy chicken fried steaks, all beef meatballs, four chicken breasts, four caramel apple tarlets package, Omaha signature seasoning, and four more burgers for free. Do the Omaha Steaks Challenge. Try to say everything in the package in one breath. See if you can do it. I bet you can't because it's $235 worth of steak that you only have to pay $59.99 for. You get a 74% discount for Father's Day. So make sure your dad doesn't hate you this

Father's Day. Make sure he loves you. Get him the gift of steak. Omaha season is here. Go to omahasteaks.com type KFC in the search bar and get the Father's Day package now for 75% off, just $60. That's omahasteaks.com. Search KFC in the search bar. Before we get started here, I just got to give a shout out to my guy, Matty. He came through with two pieces of artwork for the KFC Radio studio to hang on the wall of fame.

Go to BarstoolGoldld.com slash kfc you want to see uh uh the wall of fame and that you want to see the studio unfold as we put together new artwork and items that uh have meaning right here we got brad marchand uh we got pete alonzo so two canvas paintings for uh both of the guys on kfc radio we're gonna hang it up on the wall there if you are a nerd and you've got any sort of artwork or games or trinkets, you know me with my boxes and my jewels and gems. You got anything that you think would have some meaning on the KFC Radio wall, get at us. Hit me on Twitter. DM me. We'd like to build up the wall and build up the studio so it has some character. And if you want to see it, go to barstoolgold.com slash KFC. All right.

Feidelberg is still in St. Louis. So it's me and super producer Super Nintendo BC flying solo once again. Another edition of Mail Time here. And it could not be more apropos because also out this week, just yesterday, my mom's basement dropped. And it was an episode with me and BC. Bob Fox wanted to have us on to talk about nerds in the 90s what what it was i think he just wanted to get blackmail material on me well he did mission accomplished nerds in the 90s man 90s nerded the different animal and so we went

on to my mom's because it was bad well that's the thing so we went on for 90 minutes and i feel like we barely scratched the surface i feel like i So we went on for 90 minutes, and I feel like we barely scratched the surface. I feel like I could have gone on for 90 hours talking about our upbringing, because as much as Bob Fox is a student of the game and an old soul who learned a lot about pop culture prior to his existence, you don't know it unless you lived it. So we were given, Bob, the rundown of what it was like to be embedded in nerd culture during our era. And the massive difference here is that it was hardcore dork shit. Like Bob Fox is able to do My Mom's Basement and he's able to thrive at Barstool Sports talking nerd culture because the world is a different place. The world is like 21 jump street 22 jump street i think it is yeah but one of the one of the jump streets is where uh everything's

backwards that like they go back to high school they go back to college and they're trying to be cool like they were in the 90s and everybody hates them for it the cool kids are like environmentally conscious and they're like into nerdy shit. When you look at it from that perspective, the world is a better place. It absolutely is. Everything is super negative. Oh, this is the worst.

But it's a better place. The world is trending up, no doubt, which sounds crazy. Yeah. But in general, at least when it comes to this shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pop culture-wise, it's undeniable.

So right now, if you're a nerd, you like Avengers and Game of Thrones and all this shit that is super mainstream. All of this shit has become cool because of social media, because of everybody finding each other and realizing there's a lot more of you out there than you thought. You realize you're not really in the minority. And things from, you know, back in the Lord of the Rings now up till comic book shit is actually pretty mainstream and pretty popular. So, you know, you can Bob does it still in a way that's like I'm nerd and I'm proud. And that's I'm proud of him for doing that. But it doesn't you don't have to worry. You know, he says these things and

it's like cool man i like all that shit too we grew up in an era where if or maybe we just grew up so dorky that if if people knew oh yeah you were ostracized you were fucking i feel like i was ostracized and people didn't even know like i feel like i ostracized myself i shunned myself they couldn't tell they could like smell it on me. Like, nah, that kid probably plays like fantasy cards. I am not having sex with him. And the guys are like, I am going to beat him up. But like, I mean, like, it's funny because we were nerds.

But like, we like, you know, we were both on the basketball team, too. Yeah. But I was like, do you think like I would let you know antoine know that i was uh playing playing antoine and omar like they would imagine kicked my ass and i was like i'm the one giving you assists man you're not gonna get the ball for me but they would be like dude i'm sorry we still have to beat the shit out of you imagine if rob delgado knew that i had a Pogs collection. Imagine if Rob Delgado knew that I collected coins. Like, these are the guys that would be like, I have to beat you up now.

Sorry. Right. Like, I'm going to have to. We kind of like you because you like Biggie. But we have to beat the shit out of you. It's like the way the social hierarchy works. On the one hand, he will, like, he'll pass the ball. Right. And he'll hit his free throws in crunch time on the other hand he likes pogs but on the third hand

he you know he he pretends to be black and he likes like hip-hop music and and he can talk about and he buys weed from me yeah but on the final hand here like you here, he has crystals in his bedroom and likes Star Trek. That's where you outnerded me with that crystal shit. I love that shit. What? Those little counters in Magic, those little blue beads. Love that shit. So if you want to get a glimpse into what I was like truly growing up,

go listen to My Mom's Basement, the Monday episode. It's interesting. I mean, it's basement the monday episode uh it's interesting i mean it's funny to laugh about but it really is if you've been around uh barstool for a long time now like there there's still very few really only when we're doing this and it's just me and brendan uh am i ever like truly being myself like even with fights like he's he's like my best friend of like 10 years now but there's still like i just know what he's into and what he's not into and what he's going to understand and what he's not going to understand and like what's going to make for a good podcast and not

so there's just things i don't even talk about with fights because i'm just like yeah he's not going to get that you know you know like there are certain it's like everything else in life you you you go out with you act a certain way when you're with certain friends. You talk about sports when you're with your sports friends. You talk, you get fucking wild when you're with like your idiot friends, the same way you're different when you're talking to a girl or at work people, you know, you kind of, uh, adjust your, your content of your conversations or whatever, based on who you're with. And for the longest time, uh, my content is never like my true, true self, particularly because my true self is a fucking loser.

Are you about to go hard on like Magic the Gathering? I mean, if I was still into it, I would because I mean, too hard for sure. Not was definitely like really me. I was like putting it out there because it didn't really matter. Barstool became like my job and i was like as much as i'm gonna i've always been a fan of like i'm gonna make my content basically who i am and hope that works and if it doesn't work it's probably like if i had to fake it it wouldn't be sustainable anyway right so eventually it would catch up with me and eventually it would be a house of cards

that all comes crumbling down so i would rather just be myself and just like omit and let it run and yeah and like i'll hit a glass ceiling of some sorts or eventually maybe it'll run out and i'll be like oh damn like i should have maybe said this out of the thing but i never would have been able to continue any sort of facade so i'd rather just let it run and, and whatever level of success I'm going to achieve from just like letting myself out there, I'll do that. It's almost like the way the internet's trending now with like the jokes and shit. Like I can't, I don't think I can tone my shit down. I can tone it down a little bit, but I also am like, I'd rather just continue making my jokes. And if it gets to the point where the internet cancels me then like so be it because i'm not i would not be able to sustain and survive by being like pc like i saw

oh my god i saw that video over the weekend of the fucking kid in the wheelchair pinch running i didn't see it bro 2010 kfc would have had a motherfucking field day. This kid has been watching the varsity baseball team his whole college, high school career, and they put him in at second base as a pinch runner in his electronic wheelchair. And the pitcher turns to try to pick him off, and they intentionally throw it into center field,

and he rounds third base, and he scores in a wheelchair. It's a beautiful moment. That's just a feel-good moment. It's a beautiful... You're goddamn right it is. It's a great thing. It is a beautiful blog moment. I would have gone hammer time on that roller.

That roller would have caught these internet hands. I mean, I remember the similar situation. They put a kid in a wheelchair and he scored a touchdown. Remember that one? Yeah. That was like month number one at Barstool. And I went in on that guy. And I would have done the same thing with this kid pinch running.

It was so fun. The way his chair spun around, it was so good. And so many people, I tweeted, I have a burner account called at 2010KFC, and I planned on using that to say jokes that I would have said in 2010 that are no longer allowed, and so I just CC'd myself on that one, 2010 KFC. And people were like, what would even be funny about this? Like how could you even turn this into a joke?

I was like, god damn, we've come that, like we've fallen that much, that deep, that far, that you guys can't even understand that I would have been making fun of this. You can't find the humor in this. Like it, it just ain't. And so that's, there's an example, like I'm not going to write that blog and just have the internet be mad at me, but there are certain jokes that I just can't stop myself from saying there's a certain sense of humor that I can't control. And so I'm just going to let myself rip. And if it costs me in the end, so be it. Now, all that being said, this is going to sound hypocritical, but all that being said, there were still parts of my personality that I was like, well, the world doesn't need to know

all that. Like, you know, I am, I am still just sitting here and I'm talking sports at this point. It's, it was early on. It was a lot more sports talk and guys talk. And like I said, the whole era of Bob Fox type nerds had not really come about yet. And so it was a lot more scarlet letter shameful to have certain things out there. Certain things like playing magic together i mean that type of shit that's the sort of shit when the world finds out your life is ruined you are gonna stay a virgin you are not gonna get invited to the cool party you are not gonna have any friends you just get completely separated from like the mainstream group like you gotta go find like maybe the goths or like you

got it you got to become like a little subset yeah it's at a different lunch table kids with the wheelchairs or something i don't know yeah and and just hope that like there's one girl you know there was always like one goth girl that like the six goth guys always had to like fight over like that's that's all that's the only hope you have left just hope that the goth but even now like goth guys but even now because like i was reading about magic the gathering now like in preparation for this stuff and it's something like there's like 20 billion cards are in circulation and it's like still a popular thing but now i'm like if you're into that you just jump on the internet and find out like where your local

brooklyn meetup is yeah and you can go meet like 25 other people that are probably like, you probably start making fun of them. Like, well, listen, I like magic the gathering, but you're a magic nerd. And then you're the cool kid of the magic.

Well, it's like, cause that's how it works nowadays. Cause you can connect with them. But it was just like me, you and our cousins being like, we can't tell anybody about this. Don't let anybody know.

We really like this, but we can't tell anybody. I'm super excited about Lord of the Pit and like my new mana, Black Lotus manipulator i see manipulator that did by the way though that sounds cool if i was a rapper i would my name would be icy manipulator like that's like a wu-tang alias or something johnny blaze aka the icy manipulator i i now i have no problem being myself. It's funny, actually, looking back. Like, the same way that when the Combine comes out, it just shifts everyone's perception. It's like, wait a minute.

I thought you were one thing. Now I've got to read your writing and listen to your shit if you knew that I could tell you like every single person on Star Trek the next generation. It just changes who you are and how you view things. But again, now in the modern times, like usually owning that stuff because you can find an audience, it works like it was just like the first time you admitted that you watched The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. Yeah. And then you're like, yeah, all these girls watch it. Well, and this is where the beta boy movement comes from, is that actually admitting all these things about yourself is confident and is cool and probably will be seen as sexy and attractive to other girls and will be viewed as confidence amongst other guys. Because when you have the balls to just be like, yeah, I like this shit and I don't give a fuck if you what you think of it. But. You know, you're not always able to to to do that, to like stand up and say that, and I I mean, also funny looking back now, like I was worried about my reputation. Don't need to worry about that anymore so i can tell you all the nerd shit that i uh

that i liked and because my reputation is that of a burning dumpster so yeah no no fucking big deal when you know that i collected marvel cards dude no big deal when you know that i had uh like the the the book that listed out all the values of rare collectible coins. Yeah, the wizard guide. Yeah, was that? It was called Wizards, like a magazine. Right. It had like articles about comics. Right, but there was one.

I had one that was like a hardbound book that was for coins. That was real shit. Oh, for coins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It listed the value of coins. Bro, you want to know? It's a nickel. It's worth five cents.

You want to know how nerdy i am man in elementary school for a brief like a week long i carried a pocket watch a motherfucking pocket watch now again i feel like now you'd be all right exactly now that shit's kind of pimp you know like i i somebody sent me one that has uh my name my initials inscribed and i had like my family crest and it was like a rose gold timepiece. And the only reason I haven't like worn that is because now I'm just not going to like put more shit in my pockets, basically. But I saw that I was like, this is fucking fire. But when you were in fourth grade and you're carrying around a pocket watch, you're lucky. I'm lucky that my head was not placed in the toilet.

Like, does anybody get beat up by a girl for that sonia muhammad yeah sonia muhammad used to beat the shit out of me and that was honestly like that wasn't even me like she could throw hands like that was not even me like oh my god you got beat up by a girl it was like well i'm just her next target she'll beat you up she'll beat you up anybody can get beat up by sonia muhammad no no iris mander that was her name sonia muhammad was a different chick sonia muhammad could run a two and a half minute mile she was a freak she was crazy she was the most athletic girl i've ever seen iris mander she was from ecuador she was like a transfer student i think you know someone bought her or whatever

and like sponsored her she used to beat the shit out of me. And also in kindergarten, there was a girl named Garance. Remember her? I remember the name. Garance. French chick. Bit my leg during Duck Duck Goose. I said, no, you didn't get me. She said, yes, I did. I said, you did not tag me. I got back to my seat first, bitch. She bit my shin

like a fucking corn on the cob. So, yeah, I used to get beat up by chicks. Yeah, I used to have a time piece. Yeah, I used to get beat up by chicks. Yeah, I used to have a time piece. Yeah, I used to watch Star Trek The Next Generation with my family. Yeah, I played Magic the Gathering. I collected Marvel cards. The coolest thing I did was collect baseball cards.

And even that's pretty fucking nerdy, okay? But I'm embracing it now, okay? Now that's nerd life, man. And upon that podcast coming out, Netflix announces that they're going to do a magic the gathering series what is this i don't know me about this as you came in i don't mean they're gonna make an animated series animated series yeah because i mean like they did like there was a lot of like lore built into magic the gathering like it was like whole backstory cards that were like all about one king or queen or wizard or something

like that and there was like each because you know how each card would tell you what it did it was like oh this uh card deals 10 damage to your opponent but then it would have like a little quote like it was from a book or something yeah i mean if somebody was writing like a story there was it to the coast right that was there yeah it's game of thrones lord of the rings it's all that shit man i i mean yeah you could probably pick two or three of those like important characters make them the focal point and like make a whole world out of it would be like based on probably you know uh but like if Netflix is is is tapping that shoulder like come on in like that you know that's big time that now all of a sudden it's cool you know Game of Thrones was horrendously nerdy until all of a sudden it just wasn't so I'm gonna say it loud and proud it is it's interesting too though because i

you know i i think especially the people who don't like me have like a perception of me that's like so far off base at this point i feel like it's spiraled out of control on so many levels because of my personal life and just because of years and years of content and because of me being like stubborn with my takes people have just the people who don't like me i should say i've concocted some like monstrosity of a of a persona to to rail against when if you if you know like the real me and this kind of shit it's very funny to ever for for knowing my me knowing myself obviously i know my own entire history to think that there are like online forums talking about me being like this guy thinks he's so cool i'm like bro i grew up in constant fear of people knowing just how uncool I was.

And it is still that way to this day, bruh. So I'm going to embrace it. I'm going to start playing Magic again. It's hard. No, I'm not going to start playing Magic again. I mean, it's just I'm not going to do anything. That shit is for when you're a kid. When you're an adult, you just can't do any of these things.

Because look at this. How about nerds today? I mean, I know video games when we were growing up were like they still weren't cool but like tour you know as we got older in college like everybody wanted to play like grand theft auto and everybody wanted to play golden so it wasn't like completely shunned but now but but i mean even still to up until like a year ago people were like you can make money playing video like now you're a rock star yes yes like you can be a rock star off of fortnite and then i i was like i want to try and get into this not because

i thought i could ever play like i'd be like i'm gonna be a gamer but i wanted to like know what was going on because fortnite is so lucrative it's very difficult like when you're old you just don't have like the hand-eye coordination if you don't use it, you lose it. And that is true for sex and video games. It is something where I feel like I used to just grab any controller on any system and I could figure it out pretty quickly and be decent at any game. Now, it's like I don't even know if I could play my classics. We should cover Magic the Gathering. Start a Twitch channel, go to the tournaments, do play-by-play.

Nobody else is doing that, and Magic is apparently gonna blow up. I mean, if it's getting a Netflix series, dude, it's gonna blow up. It's gotta be... Could you imagine... This would be like, we did something right in our lives if all of a sudden we make money off of Magic the Gathering when we're 40. Could you imagine if we still, if we had played this whole time?

Like, I feel like anything, eventually you just stop caring, you know? Like, you can't play one card game for, like, 30 straight years. Right? I don't know. I don't know, but now I wish I did. Yeah, I guess. Because if that's about to blow up.

I wish, yeah, I mean, I wish I had gone, like, the Bob Fox route and just, like, leaned into that side of my life. Because now it's all niche, but not really. Like, all this stuff just doesn't have people covering it, but there's tons of people, and they're all, all like down to spend money and click and read what do you think like nerds now are like the people that get shunned now like are they into like just something that's so obscure that you're like no i think it came back like i think it's the reverse i think it's like toxic masculinity right i think it's like the nerds are the people who are like i like sports

and pussy you know i mean that's that's what as far as what what do i think is. I think it's like the nerds are the people who are like, I like sports and pussy. You know what I mean? That's, that's what I, as far as what, what do I think is so niche that it's like, you're considered a dork is what you got to like invest in. Yeah. And just be like 20 years from now,

that's going to be huge. So I'll be ready. What are they doing in pop culture? That is like, I feel like anime is still, yeah, I was going to say, but even that is like, that's anime is still yeah i was gonna say but even that is like that's still very lucrative everything already is lucrative like every niche has been tapped but it's like that is still kind of like mainstream thinks it's weird and i think like in the next 10 years like there will be zero stigma just like there's zero stigma about

uh like dungeons and dragons i mean like literally dragons this might be too niche because I don't know if it's been around. I don't know if it's ever going to blow up, but the simulator shit. When I saw Zaz simulating train rides and when I heard that there were people who simulate being a farmer and growing corn, that to me is super nerd. I don't know if that's ever going to be a thing or not, but that shit, I was like, oh, wow. Get in on the simulator game. Simulator life. Shout out to all my nerds. The true nerds the

true nerds people who grew up there getting shunned the people who lost out on having sex because they they let their true colors out not these fucking johnny come lately cool nerds bob fox over there bob fox is a goddamn prom king compared to who i was okay shit uh and i want to i want to talk a little bit here about some barstool content which it transitions nicely because barstool has grown so much and has changed so much the thought that i once was worried about people knowing like my little habits growing up as a as an elementary schooler like that was going to matter compared to what goes on now with Barstool content and what really does matter is actually wild. And no better example than the fight that went on this weekend.

A little inside Barstool talk is brought to you by Postmates, delivering you the best content in the game is Barstool Sports and delivering you the best snacks, food, groceries in the game is Postmates. It's the free app that has connections to 25,000 merchants on their network, ranging from your favorite bar that will give you takeout of your favorite wings, which I do about three times a week, to the Walgreens that will deliver you diapers and whole milk when you consistently forget to get them for the children that you have to keep alive. The Chinese food you want, the groceries you want, the children that you have to keep alive uh the chinese food you want the groceries

you want the paper towels you need delivered the other day i ran out of toilet paper ran out of toilet paper you know i did i postmates it there you go i got myself some charmin so that i could wet my butt like wow as i was sitting there yeah i mean they didn't deliver it like like in like a matter of seconds but i but that's the thing about Postmates is that the minute you realize you need something, you can have it, man. It's like, I was sitting on the bowl and I was like, well, for next time, I'm going to have it. So, uh, download the Postmates app, use the promo code KFC, get a hundred dollars off your delivery charges. So that means, you know, if there's a 399, 499, 599 fee, you can console that. And, uh And for the next seven days, you get $100 off your delivery charges.

That's promo code KFC on Postmates for free delivery of anything you want within the hour, 24-7, 365. So I rarely get involved anymore with the – over the weekend, we had some Barstool drama. And like I said, I rarely get engaged we had some Barstool drama. And like I said, I rarely get engaged in it now because it's pointless. I have learned that the people who are going to hate are going to hate no matter what. And they have an agenda and they have made their mind up and there really is no convincing them.

And so I'm not going to bother bashing my head against the wall anymore. I'm not going to bother wasting my breath or my time or my energy getting all fired up trying to convince people of something that I absolutely know to be true, but they're never going to believe it. So why? What's the point? When I was younger, I got fired up. I got mad because it was people talking shit about us and our reputation and people, not even just necessarily me, but when they come at other people who I know work hard and who I know are good people and when the random blue check brigade members hate on them, I used to feel the need to stand up to them. I used to think we're losing out on some audience, and I wanted this thing to be as big and profitable and successful as it can be. And so I would get mad, and I would try to make

sure that all those people could maybe be converted into readers and listeners and make sure I take the time to do that. Now I'm just like, whatever, dude. This is pointless. Because I realized that myself, if I didn't like something and someone told me, well, dude, go listen to an episode or go read an example or go give it a try. I'd say, no, I don't really want to. I've heard, I've heard it. What I've heard about this, I don't like. And so I'm not going to bother. And so it is what it is. I would probably behave the same way about certain things that I dislike. I wouldn't take it as far as to like judge them or hate them, but I'd be like, I'm not going to consume this because I don't think I like it.

That being said, there are certain times where I just can't bite my tongue. And this was one of them. This weekend was one of them. The people who are coming at zeroBlog30, and particularly Kate, I can't, they have to be called out. I saw one specifically, this guy David Fusillo, I believe his name was, from SB Nation, and I saw chaps retweeting and fighting

with a handful of others on Twitter. That I can't stand by for because zero blog 30 is our most respectable, good natured, good intentioned, well, like mannered podcast that we've got. I mean, it is it's a podcast made up of United States veterans who are all very smart and articulate and down to earth. And while still maintaining humor and being funny, they can talk about the serious topics of politics and government and war. And they do it all with the resume to back it up. Like anybody can just go out there and like babble about it. But you know, those guys know what they're talking about, or at least can speak from experience.

And so they are like the last podcast that should ever catch random Internet hate under the whole like Barstool's trash umbrella. If you don't like what they say or you have a problem and you actually listen to their podcast and, you know, you don't like the content, of of course no one is above criticism or uh you know it's not like they can't be right or wrong uh but this weekend sony there was a handful of people being like the the barstool sports uh barstool sports has a military podcast that's trash barstool sports uh they did an interview with uh what was his name duncan hunter is a republican who who uh basically admitted to war crimes and and zbt had them on the podcast and they denounced what he was saying they they said if all this is true that he's a war criminal and just because he was on their show doesn't mean that they endorsed what he was talking about as a matter of fact it was

the complete opposite. Kate stood up to him. And then afterwards, after the interview, they all said that it's fucking insane. This guy is very casually describing war crimes as what his unit did, killing hundreds of civilians. If you want to just say that, like the jokes that I make and the blogs that I write or almost anybody else other than zero blog 30. If you want to talk about that content, that's a different story. If you want to be stubborn and just bury your head in the sand and say that all my content is trash and everything I say is misogynistic and sexist and racist and all the other things, uh, fine, whatever. Cause at the

end of the day, I'm just cracking jokes. I'm writing blogs and putting out podcasts for like-minded people who agree with my takes and agree with the way that I kind of handle things. But when you're talking about what ZeroBlog30 did, you're talking about the interview they did where you're talking to a war criminal you're talking about very serious things like hundreds of people dying being massacred potentially uh in in you know outside the rules of engagement that's not the time to to push your like anti-barstool agenda like that that to me is so trash on so many levels this dude and the guys who were tweeting at at zero b at zbt they didn't listen to the interview they automatically assumed that like our school was in agreement with slaughtering hundreds of innocent civilians like no matter what you think about a blog do you really do you really believe that you really believe that we have a company of like 200 people who

co-sign slaughtering and that just makes it that just makes it easier for them. If they can just believe that we actually are this caricature of evil, vile people, then, you know, they're like, good, they want it. Yeah, they want, you know, their biases to be confirmed. They want to think that we would just, like, bring on the worst people in the world and co-sign them. But, I mean, that is, like, so far-fetched you know like if you have any sort of rational brain power function i think you would be like yeah it's like if we had you know we have our enemies and if they're if these other websites that we you know beef with occasionally bring somebody on we still use our brains and don't say like see see see they're they're exactly like this

this is why they're the worst people i mean mostly because we just don't care like, see, see, see, they're exactly like this. This is why they're the worst people. I mean, mostly because we just don't care about them and we're not obsessed with them. But that's – see, I actually like that they're doing it. As much as I felt the need to stand up and defend Kate and ZeroBlock30, and I was basically saying, you know, A, if you – talking about content you have never consumed is just an annoying move. When you're doing it to the tune of accusing

people of endorsing war criminals. Well, now it's becoming like almost like slanderous. It's like, what you can't, you can't just like willy nilly throw out tweets and opinions about like something that serious. Like, don't use that to push your, I don't like this blog. Why is it so popular agenda like that? Those are two, those are things that should not really be coexisting. There's, you know, you want to talk about Dave's jokes from 10 years ago and blackout parties and like some of the,

some of the, uh, like classless jokes I've made, like fine, whatever. Don't just lump that in by saying that like Kate endorses war crimes. Okay. Like that's, that's just just so that's just lazy and like

disrespectful and just fucking stupid is what it is uh and then i love as soon as but but i call them out on that then it's like see this is what i was talking about it's like what are you talking about that wasn't what you were talking about what you're talking about is twitter and the internet being obnoxious like if people you put something out on the internet and people disagree they will bombard you with their opinion that's just the internet that's just twitter that has nothing to do with either barstool or zbt or the politics or men or women by the way that same guy was like boy i'm just getting a taste of what it must be like when a woman disagrees with barstool. Oh, did you see that somebody called him

out so good and said like, isn't it ironic to think that this guy thinks he can sympathize with women being trolled after he just trolled a woman? After he just talked shit about Kate and the way she conducted the interview. This guy, yeah, if you

say something, if you put your opinion out there on the internet and it's ignorant and it's stupid and it's uninformed and it's like accusatory. And that person or their fans respond and you're stupid, male or female, you're stupid. That's what you are. Your ignorance and your stupidity take precedence over your gender. I'll call you out of your man. I'll call you out of your woman. I'll call you out of your young.

I'll call you out of your old. It doesn't matter. Black, white. If you are stupid and making a bad point, an uninformed, misinformed point, you will get called out for it. And this fucking dick, David went on to reply to everybody being like, yeah, I just don't like him. So I was talking shit. Like he basically was like, I didn't listen to the interview, but the brand is the brand. And so I don't like it. And he was like, I just wanted this. He said to me, he was like, I didn't listen to the interview, but the brand is the brand, and so I don't like it. And he was like, I just wanted to – he said to me, he's like, you missed the point of my tweet.

I said, what was the point of your tweet? He said, I just wanted to say something snarky about Barstool. I mean, I guess he's kind of owning up to it. Well, yeah, and in that sense, I was like, first of all, no, nobody missed that point. You were being a snarky asshole. We got it. We got it. The point is, you choosing this topic of all topics to be your vehicle, to be snarky. You're an asshole.

This is a very serious topic. This is a very meaningful interview, very poignant discussion. And you're using it to just be like, Barstool's bad. You're an asshole. And so I'm going to call you that. And he kept being like, well, if the stoolies reactions are any indication, like I was right about your brand, I'm looking through the replies. There's nothing.

There's just people being like, wait a minute. You're just you're talking about an interview you didn't listen through the replies. There's nothing. There's just people being like, wait a minute, you're talking about an interview you didn't listen to. That's fucked up. That nobody, I didn't see anybody being like. I love everybody wants the retweets

and the likes and everybody wants to go viral when they say something that a bunch of people agree with, but then they don't want to take any of the disagreement. It's like, this is just people disagreeing with you, dude.

This is not like, you're not a victim. You're not being brutalized here. People are just, I said i don't really think mickey calloway is that bad of a manager and people jump down my throat it's just that's okay like disagreement does not just say things that people disagree with them and then people are going to react and that's just part of the game sorry disagreement does not pop off twitter attack right and that's where people you know uh a differing opinion does not equal troll disagreement does not equal attack and uh like like uh spirited uh and like sometimes it'll go as far as like

name calling but you're an asshole right like that that is just me passionately explaining to you how wrong you are now if i take it like a step further and like really talk about like something personally close to you and like rail on you for that like yeah you got experience with that huh you got any experience with people writing things super personal right yeah that you know that's where it's like all right now now we've got we have gone from beyond disagreement to attacking but like dude you you and then he was like well i can't believe everyone's getting fired up over some guy with just 3,000 followers. No, no, no, no. When you put that tweet out there, you thought you were SB Nation blogger and person with a voice and man with a following.

And you're going to put your point out there. And the Blue Check Brigade is going to like you and rally around you. And now that you realize how fucking stupid you sound, you're like, oh, wait, little old me. I'm just a nobody. I don't get it. What's all the backlash? Fuck you, you dude get the fuck out of here that's such a trash back like that now can you imagine when that guy realized what happened like the first person the first tweet he read that was like actually dude did you listen to the interview because the polar opposite happened he must have been like just peel out just just say you can say whoops yeah didn't listen to it

my bad right and then then you can get your snarky little jab in there and then be like i mean with their track record i'm surprised they didn't really endorse war criminals and that's like not a valid point either but at least own up to it and and i uh then the one thing i just i just kept pestering him all that long because i was sitting on the couch watching the basketball game i had nothing else to do i was like when people like why are you punching down or why are you giving a platform like because it's fun. I'm just sitting around doing nothing. I have no problem just arguing with strangers on that long. I get

enjoyment out of that. Uh, I just said, I was like, David, will you just admit, just admit that when you say, well, the nature of their brand is such, and, and that's, that's all that matters. And that's why I didn't listen. and that's why I assumed. The nature of the brand, quote-unquote, is being created and perpetuated by people who did what you just did. The people who don't consume the content, who write an article, who cite one or two jokes from a thousand years ago, then put out this image of Barstool and this reputation of Barstool. And then you all cite that every time you get called out. SEO optimize it so that it always shows up at the top of Google search results. But then you realize that it's all smoke and mirrors.

It's all made up out of nothing. You're all citing articles written by people who don't consume the brand. You in the moment are not consuming and making a judgment. And we call you out and say, that's actually not what we do here. Or that's not what was said in that interview. That's not what was written in that blog. And you say,

well, I didn't read it because of X, Y, Z, but X, Y, Z was created by people who never consumed the content. So it's this vicious cycle of barstool.

Barstool's reputation is made by people who don't actually consume it. And then when we when we call you out for not consuming it, you cite something that nobody ever consumed. It's just it's never going to. And then they get mad at the defense. Like, why are you bothering to defend it? It's like because you guys just keep making up things. It's all we can stand by. And actually and the and the things the

things you they talk about are made up there are things you could pick that are valid and that's why it's funny that they're coming at zbt right now because it's like this is the last fucking thing you want to try to pick apart at barstool there's plenty of other shit and even like you know when they come at me it's like oh i do have this like personal track record that doesn't exactly endorse everything that I always say. And like Dave has has his issues and his jokes. And there are definitely parts of Barstool which are pretty like unsavory or there have been times where we fucked up. Go ahead and pick pick apart those things. But this one is like that was not the right move, pal.

That was not the right blog to try to go after. But if everything you cite is from people who don't actually consume the blog, consume the podcast or consume the content, then how can you ever actually understand the content? It's fucking insanity, man. So shout out to those dickheads. Shout out to ZBT who did a great interview. Shout out to the dicks who are trying to take them down. It's the only thing that will get me back up, will actually rile me up again to try to defend the brand is when I feel like they actually need it. When we actually need defending is when we're actually doing some good. Like when ZBT is saying all the right things

and doing all the right things and actually putting out a message that the Blue Check Brigade would come themselves over those are the same people who would hate uh hate war crimes and all that sort of anybody i mean anybody with a fucking brain and a heart should hate these war crimes and uh you know the time that you're gonna come if you're gonna come after people like that and content like that then fuck that i gotta speak up and say something uh let's get into some voicemails we We also got an interview with Josh Hopkins coming up to wrap things up here. But first, voicemails are brought to you by Candid.

Did you know that your teeth move as you get older? So everybody thinks that your teeth, you get your braces, your teeth are fixed, you're straight, and you're good to go. Not so fast, my friends. As you get older, your teeth continue to shift. And, I mean, let's be honest. You can't have bad teeth. You just can't do be honest you can't have bad teeth you just can't do it you can't have yellow teeth you can't have crooked teeth as an adult in the modern world you got to make sure your teeth are fixed and that's where candid comes in that's an alternative

because you also can't have braces i mean when joe gerardi had braces as an adult it was like dude come on we can't take you seriously so candid is the clear alternative to braces uh it's it's from an orthodontist who's licensed in your state they create a treatment plan for you they provide you with a 3d preview of what your results are going to look like and so you know exactly what your teeth are going to look like at the end they use only experienced orthodontists uh so they're not a quote-unquote dental professional what does that mean either you're an orthodontist you're not dental professional. What does that mean? Either you're an orthodontist or you're not. Dental professional sounds super shady. It's like, are you a lawyer?

It's like, no, I'm a legal professional. Are you a lawyer or not, bro? So a candidate uses only experienced orthodontists and they are a set of clear aligners that are molded to your teeth and molded to look like what you want your teeth to look like. And they get sent directly to you. You don't have to go to an orthodontist's office. It gets delivered directly to your house, and it costs 65% less than braces. So you're not going to have metal mouth. You're not going to have the train tracks on your teeth.

You're going to have these clear, candid straighteners, and it's going to cost 65% less. The world is so much better. So much better than it was. I think orthodontists was brutal. They used to cement metal They just mail it to you now? Cement metal brackets to your teeth, put wires through them,

and crank it so that it just rips your teeth into shape. This is just like, here's a little plastic plate. Just, like, fit it onto your teeth, and it's just gonna slowly shift them over. And no one's gonna be able to see it. You're not gonna get food stuck in it

and all that stuff. You're not gonna to break your wires. They still have the rubber bands. Of course. I'm sure. I'm sure there are people still suffering with those. And it's like, just get on board with the future. Get on board with candid. You don't need rubber bands in your mouth. You know, I used to break those, those wires and brackets and just not tell my mom because she would be so mad at me. But then I, but then I didn't realize it would be like months. It would just be sending me back months and months. He'd be like, Oh,

well your teeth all moved back because it's, has been broken for six months. So well done, dude. None of that anymore. Just go right to candid, go to candid co.com slash KFC. And you're going to get 75% off.

Get those straighter, brighter teeth. When you go to candid co C I N D I-d-i-d-c-o.com slash kfc for 75 bucks off hey what's up kfc this is john in north carolina again i called in last week about ass soap girl uh got another story for you uh so last night me and my buddies and her are making a campfire and drinking, you know. And I'm also a dipper. So I'm spitting in a water bottle that I had been drinking out of previously.

And it's probably at this point like 50% of water, 50% of spit. And to me, not even thinking about it, she asked if she could have some of my water. So I just give it to her not realizing that that's actually my spit bottle and the worst part about it is she didn't even flinch she chugged it and never flinched i don't know if i should be like sufficiently scared about her toughness at this point. Like, is this a bad omen that these things keep happening? I don't know. Let me know what you guys think.

What was the first thing she did from the last episode? It sounded like you said Astro Girl? Yeah, I don't remember that, but that's disgusting, man. Dip culture is just one that I just never am going to understand. i feel like being in the

northeast but not being like a hockey guy i feel like hockey guys and like southerners right like i just can't i can't wrap my head around it i'm never gonna get into it also guys on the trading floor like i used to work on the nymex and guys who were like you know you can't go have a smoke break because you're in the middle of like the, the trading day. So they would just throw a lip in and get their nicotine fixed like that all day long. But I just, I feel like if you weren't, like, on a sports team later in life and you're not south of the Mason-Dixon line, you ain't dipping.

It's just the grossest, dude. We've got a lot of friends, a lot of friends who do this. And it's just, it's disgusting. There's a couple things. And I just can't believe, like, I mean, credit to them for just, like, infiltrating this office and just, like, doing it and just being like, yeah. I mean, I have, like, a spittoon that sits right here. It's crazy to me how, like, socially acceptable it is. Or maybe it's not.

Maybe it's just, like, in our world our world they've like beaten us down right but i'm like you you have like you talk funny i can see it in your teeth like i watch you like throw this like muddy dirt into your mouth i can see it all up in your teeth bulging out you talk funny and then you spit like mid-conversation while i'm looking at you and then you carry around a clear bottle of your tobacco spit and it's just like yeah that's no that's what i do man that's my habit fucking disgusting you want one you want a lip i'm like actually that's the last thing on earth i would like to indulge in. I am so happy I don't have the dip itch and the gambling itch. Two things that I just never even could possibly consider. Like who was it?

Clement and Nate like had, had a bet like one of them was going to have to dip or something that, and we were, we got on the topic of talking about it and someone was trying, who was it? One of the guys that does it was trying to convince me as if i was like i wanted to but i was afraid to or wanted to but didn't know how to or as if i wanted to but i couldn't get over the hump to do it and i was like oh you don't understand i don't want to do this i have zero fucking desire to get down with

this habit that costs money that rots your teeth that's gross and like people are just down with it and then so when it when it comes to girls like if a girl dips i could not possibly be more out on you there's no possible way that she actually just drank this and didn't flinch well he said it was like a mix right of water and dip i want to believe that that was like water and he spit in it like once by accident if there's's any sort of like... Yeah, because I'm picturing the dip cups that we see. I mean, it's like, you know, tar. I don't even like being in the same room as that. Jogging that.

I mean, guys who like... Guys who, you know, like swallow a spit like every now and then, throw up. So drinking like a bottle of it is absolutely impossible. But if it happened in any way, or form you i mean you can't be down with this girl although i don't know but you hear this guy's voice and it's like his world is probably like yeah man girls dip girls dip and they hunt and they fuck you i'd be like dude here's the thing you're disgusting yeah so she's just also disgusting yeah you guys

are perfect for right let's get married but you know what like we're probably like i'm sure the dip community is gonna be mad like we're shaming them and sure it's like but you guys are gross like on the whole if i ever had a habit that was like super disgusting like that i'd be like yeah man i got this gross habit yeah you know you gotta at least be you gotta remember when smokers you skip mad when you were like dude you stink yeah it's like what do you mean I'm like you went outside you smoked a cigarette and like I can smell it when you walk in the room it's disgusting and they're just like oh yeah I mean I get it

you're addicted to cigarettes and that's a problem but yeah as long as you just like admit it the problem is the addiction and the lung cancer that you're going to develop but also the problem is that you stink man the dip bottles when people just leave them all over the place I mean there were guys in college who, like, dorm rooms would just be, like, covered. And, like, if they ever got knocked over or something,

it's like you're just carrying around a bottle of, like, your throw-up, basically. Come on, man. It's fucking gross. What's up, KFC? Vice Super Producer BC. First time, long time. Quick hypothetical for you guys. You got $10 million cash in your hand right now.

Here's the catch. You have a snail chasing you for the rest of your life. And if it touches you, you die like a horrible, painful, medieval kind of death. The snail is very smart, knows your location at all times. We're talking like the Liam Neeson of snails. So let me know what you guys think, what your price would be. Viva. The snail hypothetical is one that's been floating around the Internet

for a little while now. I'm fascinated as to how these things start, because the answer to the Internet is, you know, fully based on these type of questions, and they all got to start somewhere. Like there was one dude who originally asked the mom and girlfriend switching bodies question like somebody had that thought originally and spoke that out loud and then it just became kind of urban legend-esque where it just circulates the internet that's what's going on right now this guy calling up like he invented it like people tweeting it like they came up with

it so the parameters are snail is constantly chasing you if it touches you you die how much money is it well he originally said 10 million dollars but then he said how much would it take for you to do this so i don't know uh the snail is obviously snow slow that's what snails are but apparently this one is smart and it knows what it's doing it's trying to get and I think I've seen the caveat that it's like, you can't stop it. Like, you can't just like, because you could just like put a bowl over a snail and it would never get to you. So it's like, it's got to be allowed to like, always roam free. All right.

So it's mostly like, you have to get away from it. But like, can I sleep on like a bunk bed that's high or something like that? Yeah, but I think it could crawl up a bunk bed that's high or something like that yeah but i think it could crawl right but like a bunk bed yeah right but as as long as i know like how fast it can climb like it's not just like a super fast snail all of a sudden right no i don't think like if i if i go to like a regular snake if i go to sleep and it's like in my house or in one room or what is it because it's like if i if i know where the snail is and i go to sleep on the other side of the house and i'm on a bunk bed and I know how slow it travels,

it's like it's not going to get to me in time, you know? Right. But then like, okay, so now, but maybe you don't know where it is in the morning, right? Right. That's the problem is that you lose track of the snail and it always knows where you are apparently. It's got like a GPS embedded in its brain.

It knows how to find you. That's the problem because initially it's like, right me and me and the snail we're looking at each other we start right then i i lose it i i like i go to this room i go to that room i travel far away i get high up but now once that's once that snail is is gone now i can't. A garden snail moves at 0.029 miles per hour. So less than a 0.029? 0.029, yeah.

So like two-tenths of a mile per hour? No. No. Two-one-hundredths. Two-one-hundredths of a mile per hour. But like, once it's gone, it's gone. Once I lose it, I don't know. That's the thing.

I think it's just like you don't know where it is. I mean like eventually you might see it. Like it's not like it can be super sneaky. Right. You know? But you would have to kind of constantly like, like let's say it starts, like let's say it starts here. It's right on this desk. Right.

You have to be here every day, so it could hang out here. Or it could try and follow you to your house. Like, we come in the next day, and it's not here. You have to worry about it being here, there, everywhere. That's what I'm saying. So once you lose track of it, you'll go crazy. I think you'd, I mean, you could certainly give me a price to move to california be like let's see this thing's gotta travel 3 000 miles oh all right i'm i'm under the

impression that it's like oh yeah if that's the case then yeah i take it because then i just move like but i mean honestly like if it's just like when you don't know it's like i don't know if this is smart enough maybe gets on an airplane like it can't crawl into somebody's bag or something like that yeah get in an airplane end up in california you have to think about it all the time like like travel over water like but this thing can get on a boat i mean i'm not saying it definitely is going to but it probably has to be in the back of your mind like i mean if this snail like finds a way to get you and then it's just like is the peace of mind was the money worth it?

I don't know, $10 million, I think. That's a lot of money. I'd probably go to L.A. And I mean, assuming that I can't create any sort of, like, protection barrier with my money, like, we're going with that. Like, at night, I can't sleep in, like, a cage that, like, cannot be accessed. No, I think you could probably do that. I think you just can't stop it. You can't just fucking, like like have somebody step on that shit. It's over.

Then I'm, then I'm taking the money because if I can sleep in some inside sort of some sort of sealed case that he can't get to me when I'm unconscious, then I'm good. Cause if I'm awake at all, but the thing is then you have to just constantly be worried about this, this death snail. Like it's just like the constant worry of it.

Yeah. It's probably super unlikely. I would be worried about it falling on me. It's probably like being worried about being struck by lightning. Yeah. You know? It's like, just don't worry about that and you'll be fine. Because it's probably not going to happen.

I would worry about it climbing on a ceiling and then dropping on me. And it just like falls on my shoulder and I'm dead. Like, I don't think it's going to crawl up on my foot out of nowhere and then i die but if it crawls on the ceiling and i'm not paying attention and then it just drops onto me that would be fucked up but yeah i think ultimately what i do is i take the money and i live it would be like uh it would yeah like like getting struck by lightning if i said i'll give you 10 million dollars now but like lightning is like gonna have it out for you a little bit like mother nature's like it's not gonna like absolutely hit you but like lightning might come near you really it's trying to get you yeah i would probably be like okay and if it happens eventually then i lived a fun-ass

life with 10 million dollars at my disposal and i died via snail the problem would be like 30 years from now all of a sudden like you forget about it, you get comfortable and then all of a sudden like you just, you know, you're dead. But even that, that'd be better. It's like then you just like die in your sleep or something like that

because the snail got to you and it's like, well, I don't know. I just died in my sleep technically. There's never gonna be a moment where you're like up against the wall like, no, no, the snail's gonna get me because it's moving at 0.02 ninths of a mile. Like no big fucking deal.

So, long story short, I take my $10 million. I create some sort of sleeping situation where I can't get killed at night. And then the rest, I just keep my head on a swivel for a snail. The move would be to, like, find a way to track it. Yeah. Like, you take your $10 million and you don't move to california you like you know get something you hire somebody pay somebody 50 000 a year be like yeah oh that's what i would do yeah you just hire a snail watcher it's almost like the one about uh how much money

for you not to read you just hire a designated reader that comes with you i hire a snail reader a snail watcher he stays awake when I stay asleep and his only job is to walk around you hire like three people they do eight hour shifts and they just like have a camera on the snail at all times you just know where it is I wouldn't go there I would I would hire three people I'd hire like a really hot chick like a really like one of my best friends and like a really like smart person that I can learn from and throughout the day they're always around me they're saving my life by protecting me from a snail. But they're also like maybe having sex with me or maybe like hanging out with me or maybe

teaching me something. And now all of a sudden, my snail brigade is actually making me better as a person while also saving my life, thereby enabling a $10 million lifestyle. So it's $10 million you need to do it? Yeah, that sounds about right. I'd probably go to like down to like 1 million though so i'm gonna as always you put the cash on the table i'd be like sold they'd be like actually that's all ones that's like 50 grand i bet all right but still that's a lot more money than i would have and i'm not gonna let this fucking snail touch me okay next voicemail is

brought to you by 23 and me father's day is right around the corner. This, along with the steak, is a perfect Father's Day gift. I don't know why dads love shit like this. When my dad did 23andMe, he hasn't stopped talking about it. He did it like a year ago, and he still brings up the ancestry results. He loves it. We found out that we have one ancestor in China, and we have one ancestor in Italy, and he just loves to make jokes about being Italian and Asian now. He loves talking about where his grandfathers came from.

He loves talking about the breakdown and, and he gets all geographical with it. He loves it. Your father will love it too. There are just certain things when you become a dad, it's nerd culture, man. It's just like,

we're all nerds deep down us dads. And we like talking about this nerdy shit. I don't know why, I don't know how, but, uh, it's, it's just what we love.

Go to 23andme.com slash KFC. You can get $50 off the Health and Ancestry Kit. So even if you're not interested in this, even if... I've heard some people be like, I'm afraid of my history. Even if it's not for you, it's for your dad. Just think of this as a good

Father's Day gift. You don't have to do it. Your father will love it. It'll connect you and your dad, you and your family. You can share some laughs and some talk. But more importantly, you open up that Father's Day gift, and it's something that he's actually interested in, and he's going to appreciate it. Go to 23andme, the number, 23andme.com slash KFC.

Offer ends June 17th, so get it in before Father's Day, and you'll get $50 off the Health and Ancestry Kit. That's 23andme.com slash KFC. Hey, Spike, Brendan, Kevin. So I've got a quick would you rather. So to start, pick your least favorite state, the state you think is the worst. For me, it's Alabama.

Now, would you rather live in that state but never be able to cross state lines or leave the state or live anywhere in the world and have the ability to travel all over but you're never allowed to come back to the U.S.? And for the sake of this, I say the U.S., Canada, or Mexico. So you either live in the worst state possible, or you never get to come back to North America. Let me know. Eva. Interesting question for your boy.

Now, anybody who's been riding with me for a long time knows my map. KFC's places he will not go. I have a map if you Google it. Map of KFC's places. Google KFC map red X. What we've never done though is we should do a map of the United States. Right. Which also has X's. This is a country wide thing.

So I X out all the countries I would not live in. And spoiler alert it's almost all of them. And isn't there an orange X too? Mexico. Probably not. Mexico because like some parts of Mexico are cool. Some parts of Mexico chop your head off from a Mexican cartel. Australia is also an orange X, which is trending red because I learned about all the wildlife that's there. It used to just be orange because it was too far of a flight.

I can't fly that far. Then I learned about like spiders the size of like, you know, trucks. And I'm like, all right, I'm out. Dice spiders from Game of like you know trucks and i'm like all right i'm out of spiders from game of thrones yeah um so i've always basically said you know it's america or bust for me i'm living in america maybe a couple places in europe and that's about it but within america like alabama is trash alabama's the one that banned abortion? Yes. Yeah. Fuck them. Mississippi? I'm pretty sure, like, incest is allowed in Mississippi. So those would be the ones.

Alabama. At least Alabama has, like, Alabama football. And, like, there's some parts of it that are, like, modern and, like, popular that, like, have to have been, you know, modernized in a way. Like, Mississippi to me. Or Louisiana? That one sucks, right? Louisiana is New Orleans,

New Orleans. Right. But like, like the call Malone, Louisiana, that, you know, like if you took out,

if you took out New Orleans, Louisiana is tough. Mississippi, tough. Uh, and, and Alabama, like,

yeah, I'm out on all those places. If I had to live there, I think I would choose. I think that I think I would choose foreign life. Right? Yeah, I kind of think this is a no-brainer. Yeah, because I could go live in, like, you know, the fucking,

I could go live on the Amalfi Coast instead of Alabama. Yeah. But, you know, giving up America is not easy. No. But if you had to do one. But as long as I can live. Go live in London. London is New York with an accent.

Like, it's the same exact thing. Foreign life, though, like, I can live in London. London is New York with an accent. It's the same exact thing. Foreign life, though, I can choose wherever. There's no parameters. If I can have my dream life outside of America, for sure. I'm not living in those hillbilly states. I'd rather live in... Where would you go? Realistically or dream life you know no realistically i mean the thing is you do have a job that like you could probably just do from there

i think if i if i had to give up america i would go to australia interesting like the whole problem is the travel there and i'm not going to like the outback i need to live in the fucking city i think i would i think then you are like on the flip side of the day though like you that's true nothing happening at a time when you are like awake sure what about um like isn't like sweden like super clean and like everyone's hot. Good things about Sweden. Yeah. Yeah. I would do that maybe. Yeah. That might be the time for me to institute my, my Caribbean retirement life.

It's been a while since I've rehashed that. I have a plan. Then you're not too far from, I mean like, I guess you're not traveling to it, but maybe it'd be easier for people to travel to you. If you were just like in the Dominicanican republic i don't even need people to travel anymore i don't care my plan has always been i want to be able to buy uh my plan in life

my goal in life is to eventually retire to the bahamas or some island where i open up a bowling alley uh and this bowling alley is on the beach. It's an open air bowling alley. So there's a roof in case on the rare occasion it rains. And there's a small like three foot wall around. So that it stops all the sand from just blowing in. But the middle is just open air. It's like being in an open air bar where they open up the windows.

And it's all kind of like black lighty themed. The bowling pins are painted to look like Corona bottles. The bowling balls are painted to look like limes and coconuts. And there's music and hot ass waitresses and bartenders. And there's a DJ. And you're just bowling these coconuts. Knocking down the Coronas. Looking out at the beach.

Looking out at the water as the ocean crashes. Music's blasting. Girls are dancing. And everyone's just living their best life. The alleys, the bowling lanes should go into the water. And what? The pins are like in the water? Like just above the surface so like a few

waves can like lap onto it and yeah i don't know like it won't be like when i when i have something like hold the pins like in place like water can yeah that'd be cool i like that and it almost like moves as the as the tides change like the lanes get longer and shorter i could definitely do that and you know this is like when you have the um beer pong float so you can play in the pool which you never really play for all that long not cool but it's a novelty and you come down you play a few rounds just rolling balls right into the ocean yeah you just roll balls into the ocean i could do that um yeah what am i gonna name it i gotta come up with a name sounds like a good barstool trip bowling team kfc goes to the caribbean now there's a vlog i can get down with yeah so i would go do that send me to the bahamas i never go back to america but all i do is i buy

a jet ski i rent it out for a hundred dollars for a half hour to these dumb tourists and take all my money reinvest it back into my open air bowling alley on the beach this is an adam sandler movie probably and uh and i just like fuck locals and tourists and just live my best life. This is definitely an Adam Sandler movie. Yeah? I'm pretty sure. And he moves to the Caribbean? I think so.

What movie is that? I can't remember. Isn't it, like, 50 First Dates? Isn't that, like, the premise of it? I think that's on the beach somewhere, yeah. I don't know. Whatever. Hey, KFC. Bye. DC. somewhere yeah i don't know whatever hey jsc by cc uh colt nebraska uh first time long time uh got a question for you i was went back to listen to some of the older episodes

uh there was one with asa about uh sperm sperm donating or being a sperm donor. And I kind of have a two-part question for you. Part one, if you were super famous and you knew you could sell your sperm for more money and you don't have to worry about the child support popping up or anything like that, you're literally just getting paid to nut. How much would you sell your cum for on an average basis? And then part two, given the option, would you rather just bust into a cup or all these girls that want your nut, you just line them up and you just do an assembly line

for like two grand every frickin' chick you fuck. No prostitution worries, anything like that. Viva. Just go with it as the Adam Sandler movie. Just wanted to confirm. Is this an Adam Sandler movie where this guy like fucks chicks and impregnates them? I mean, what kind of stupid question,

like if I was super famous and I knew that my cum was super coveted, would I sell it? And then would I fuck all the girls that want my cum? That's called life. That's the goal of life, is to have girls covet your cum and to bang them all. No worry about prostitution. No worry about child support.

What you just described is heaven. Heaven. If I die, if someone said said to me what is heaven to you i die and i go to a place where i'm so awesome that people want my cum and also all the women will let me fuck but do you think like super celebrities are doing this i think once you're that famous you're just like uh no yeah no yeah you're right it's like you don't need to but like huge, so I guess the question is like, just would I do it? I mean, I guess,

I guess when you become that rich and famous, you don't feel the need to like donate your sperm. But I think girls being like, I want your cum is like called, that's just called life when you're a celebrity. If girls want my cum to get pregnant, I want nothing to do with them. But if you don't, if we're doing this made up rule, you don't have to worry about child support or prostitution.

Who cares? In normal life, girls who want your cum are like the enemy. You stay away from them. They're trying to trap you. But if we're just going to have this wave of magical wand and it doesn't matter, you can have all the cum I want. I don't fucking care. Although I guess it would be weird if I just knew there was like hundreds of little me's running around and I was like,

Nope, sorry, kid. I waved the magic wand. We agreed. I don't have to worry about you, motherfucker. Fuck you,

man. Go back to your neglectful whore of a mom who just wanted my seed. No, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, that eventually would probably get to become problematic. So you know what? I've come full circle on it.

I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to fuck all these chicks and give them my cum. Nope. I got a conscious and I got a heart. Fuck USB nation. See, I got a fucking heart. I'm not banging all these random hoes and procreating.

Nope. Not me. I got to get a vasectomy. I got to get a vasectomy ASAP. Somebody, somebody listening has to work at a cum clinic teach me how I can freeze my cum

for a reasonable cost preferably zero and I will shout you out and then give me a vasectomy and I will also shout you out I want to do all this for free I want to actually get paid for this so let's do some sponsorship and ASAP I do not need to be dropping any seeds anywhere.

Last Voice Melody is brought to you by FabFitFun. We've been talking all about your dad's gifts. Well, don't forget about the ladies in your life. FabFitFun is the monthly delivery box that's going to provide you with full size beauty products, uh, ranging from lotions and makeups to perfumes, to jewelry, to little accessories. Like, you know, like they have like little bowls that you put your makeup in and little, uh, bags that you carry your belongings in all sorts of, uh, cute little, you know, uh, like I said, beauty products and makeup and accessories that your girl is going to love.

They come with full-size products. It's not just little trial sizes. It's actual full-size tubes, jars, whatever it may be. And it's all right now when you go to fabfitfun.com and use the promo code KFC. You're going to get a discount of... You're going to get it for... You're going to get it for $39.99

when you go to fabfitfun. Use the code KFC. You get $10 off your first box. Now, the value is over $200, but you get it for just $39.99 when you use the code KFC, you get $10 off your first box. Now, the value is over 200 bucks, but you get it for just $39.99 when you use the code KFC to get $10 off. The summer box retail value is anywhere between $269 and $469. Every box is guaranteed to have over 200. So you might get a almost $500 box for just $39.99 when you go to FabFitFun and use the promo code KFC. Get everything you need for the summer to beat FabFitFun right now.

What's up, KFC? Fight Super Producer BC. Had a little bit of a scenario I wanted to talk to you guys. Run up by you, see if you could provide some insight. So I just got back from a two week trip with my girlfriend, um, in Europe. And I realized that, you know, with your girlfriend, you kind of have to hide when, how severe your shits are. So I got back time change, long delay at the airport and everything. It was a rough trip on the way back. And I decided to ask my friends,

what is the better feeling? When you get home and you get to shit in your own toilet after a long vacation, or when you get home and you get to sleep in your own bed after a long vacation? I personally went with shitting, but I'd like to hear your guys' take. Thanks.

I'm not in on the whole loving shit. I never got that. I don't like shitting. I don't get like this pleasure out of it. These guys who sit down and shit and they're like, no, it felt so good. Like dude, it's gross. People will compare like shitting to coming. I'm like, what are you talking about? One is just like a disgusting bodily function. Like I get it when you're like hurting or your stomach hurts and you like release fine but to like enjoy shitting is fucking gross man getting back to your own bed a nice made bed with like comfy sheets

you crawl in you know you're not like in someone else's hotel or in someone else's cum bed whatever you have your own fresh bed maybe it's only your cum that's in it great it's so much better than just taking a shit and yes by the way you do need to hide all your shits from your girlfriend forever and ever. Just because you're on vacation with her, you've been with her for a long time, doesn't mean that you should just like dump around her all the time. No, no, no, no. Hide it or else you lose like the spark. You lose the sexiness. But yeah, people love shitting.

You guys are fucking weird. All right. Wrapping up today with an interview with my man, Josh Hopkins. One of these guys who's just fucking so good looking, been involved in so many good projects, knows so many people. Everybody likes him. He's a guy's guy, but he's also an actor. Got a jaw chiseled from stone. One of those real assholes. It's just like, come on, man. Today's interview is brought to you by Audible. Shout out to Audible coming all the way back around. They're back. They were the first one of the first the first sponsor ever i think of mail time we were doing those audio books almost you know seven

eight years ago so they're back in what up audible uh you don't want to read books you can listen to books you want to go back and the game of thrones books take 30 hours to listen to not on double speed listen on so even and so even less but even 30 hours it's like an hour in the morning an hour at night on your commute do it in a couple weeks boom done you've done a game of thrones book Not on double speed. Listen on double speed. Kindle or something. You don't have to hold anything or carry anything. You just listen to it like you would listen to a podcast or any of your music. And right now you can get a 30-day Audible trial and your first audio book plus two Audible Originals for free. When you become a member, you also have access to more than 100 audio-guided fitness and meditation programs. They got bestsellers, business, self-improvement, memoirs. They got the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, all on a convenient app, which you can access at any time while you're at the gym, while you're commuting, when you're on the go and on any device. It also picks up everything where you left it off.

It makes listening to content as easy as possible. And right now you get that free trial and a audio book plus two audio originals for free when you go to audible.com slash KFC radio, or you can just text KFC radio to 500 dash 500. How about that? Uh, start listening. Now go to audible.com slash KFC radio, uh,

to get your free book and your free trial today. KFC radio on a Friday morning. Right now we're recording with, uh, Josh Hopkins. You're an important person, Josh. Cause I'll tell you what,

I do not get to this office at 9.45 ever. I'm more like the noon type. Early morning, definitely dressed nicer than us and with a much better looking face than us. So, yeah, putting us to shame at the moment. I'm not a morning guy. No? Neither, no. And, you know, it's on L.A. time.

My alarm went off, and I was like, no way. Did you red-eye over last night? Did I what? Did you come and take a red-eye last night? No, no. I was here, but I couldn't go to sleep. I watched the draft. And just because it's 9 o'clock at home when it's midnight. So I sat there, and I was like, uh-oh.

It's going to be really painful tomorrow. Did you? Wait, what do you think about the draft spectacle as a whole? That was fucking preposterous last night. The amount of people that were there? It was insane. I thought they, like, looped the video. I thought they did, like, a pan and then they just, like, started over.

It was – I mean, it was like a million people. It was Times Square in New York. I've been to Nashville a lot of times. Whiskey Cavalier is a Nashville movie – Nashville show, no? No. Nope. Fuck. Whiskey Cavalier just sounds like movie, Nashville show, no? No. Nope. Fuck. Whiskey Cavalier just sounds like one.

It just sounds like one. It would seem like Nashville would be apropos for whiskey. Anyway, the draft. The amount of people that were there. I mean, I know it's important, but the actual, like, to go. Some of these guys, the guy was dressed up like a Viking with his face painted, people who had full uniforms on, including the helmets, to stand there and just listen to names be read, really. What's weird is that, I mean, we're all big sports fans, love the draft and everything,

and we know it's this huge spectacle, and we were all surprised at that amount of spectacleness. Could not believe it. We're all surprised a lot at the picks as well. You're a Kentucky guy. You got a guy in the top ten, right? Yeah. As a Kentucky guy, what do you root for? Teams.

What do you mean? Like professional teams. Oh, well, the closest to us are the Bengals. Oh, yeah. So who's the second closest? Well, now the Titans. Okay, yeah, there you go. You know, when I was growing up, though, they didn't exist.

But I grew up, strangely, a Rams fan when I was like seven. That kind of works out now. I thought, yeah, it works out great now. But I thought they had the coolest uniforms when I was little. They definitely have that. I like that throwback. It's hit every single time. Yeah. Yeah, but Josh Allen was the pick there. uniforms when I was little. I do that throwback. It's hit every single time.

Yeah, but Josh Allen was the pick there. I mean, the Giants just... I'm a Jazz fan, so it's like we've like... It's like freaking Friday. We've switched lives. I get to laugh at you now. That's literally the worst NFL draft pick that's ever occurred. Don't you feel awful, though? No!

I feel so bad for the kid. For him, that's ever occurred. Don't you feel awful, though? No! I feel so bad for the kid. Yeah, for him, that's... I mean, he's not a kid. I think he graduated, finished as a junior, so he's not really a kid kid, but he's... To have the world hate you

on your best night, this is like you're the happiest in the world and you can't look at social media. Like, say no? Like, no, no, never mind. Guys are going to yell at me. I refuse. It was... Like, you looked at Twitter, the Gi giants were getting ratioed every tweet it was like brutal 300 retweets 2,000

replies being like fuck this kid come on man everybody everybody here is just like he's a loser like i mean he's a good-looking kid graduating duke and enough to make it to the nfl he's not a loser but i him because he was a great basketball player. Oh, was he? Yeah, so I'd like to know that he's got other skills. Yeah, he can hoop a little bit. He's got something to fall back on once the Giants blow out. Well, part of the appeal of Kyler was he's such a freak athlete.

He was also a top ten baseball player. I mean, you can't. What would you have done if you were him? Go play baseball or stay in the NFL? If I were him, I would baseball or stay in the NFL? If I was him, I would just be a lot happier than myself. You're not exactly roughing it, pal.

Give me a break. To be that freakishly talented and athletic, I would probably enjoy being a quarterback more. You think? I go back and forth. I feel like baseball, you can play for a zillion years and make a zillion dollars, but you can definitely the right call.

Yeah. For that. Unless, unless, unless, unless you're a franchise quarterback, if he pans out, I think the NFL is the way to go.

If it's going to be like a rocky road, I think I just go play baseball, swing the bat four times a game, play a little bit of field and, you know, hang out for 20 years. It's a pretty great life. Do you think there are more baseball players who

wish they went, like, what's his name, Drew Henson. He's like, I wish I went to football right out of Michigan. Yeah, probably. He's like the only story. Because that's the problem. I mean, the ones we know of, I guess. I feel like you can sit in the minors for... Wouldn't you know of them? Probably. It would be like, dude, you could have gone to play football. You'd know about it. The ones we know who could

have gone to play baseball, Tom Brady, Russell Wilson, they're not like, oh, boy. Bad choice. Which I was catching for the Montreal Expos right now. I made the right choice. Yeah, but if you're equally as good in that sport, you're richer. Yeah. I think that's going to start coming down.

I mean, it is already starting to come down. It's like Mike Trout has all the money in the world. And then after that, you're kind of – I mean, Ben Roethlisberger is getting paid $38 million this year. Jesus Christ. But then there's always the X factor that you're going to have your brain 20 years from now. Quarterbacks, no. Any other position, yes. If you're lineman, if you're linebacker, running back, then

yes. But if you're quarterback, there are a million rules to protect you. It's easy. You get like two car accidents per game. Big deal. What do you think you would have done if you weren't an actor? Was there a plan B? Or was it just actor bust? By the way, we watched Feigning Interest before we got in here.

What were you doing trying to be funny? Well, first of all, it was very funny. But that's not fair that you even get to step into the comedy world. You have to just be handsome. That's it. My bad. My bad. Yeah, okay.

Comedy is made for people who look like us. We got nothing else to do. It's like, leave that to us because we need it. You're just, you're just, stay on to the beach, bud. I'll stay in my lane. I was watching and getting mad. I was like, wait, this is fucking good. What's he doing here?

Yeah, for those who haven't seen it, go watch Fainting Interest on YouTube. It's like a music video that Josh made about when you're sitting on a date with a girl or a guy and they're just babbling and you got to pretend you're interested. It was a funny internet. Like we would blog it. We would put it on Barstool and be like, this is a funny video. That's bullshit, Josh. I don't like that. Do you just like tell your agent like when there's like a role for handsome face, that's me.

Just like handsome guy. Yeah. That's it. I'm going to tell him anything with humor. I'm going to jump out of it. Thanks, guys. So the new show is Whiskey Cavalier. It's like

one hour, but it's a comedy. Dramedy. It's spies. We shoot it in Prague. Oh, shit. Not Nashville. Wait, you shoot in Prague? Yeah. Oh then let's talk about Darling's Cabaret.

Oh yeah. I'm familiar. You know Darling's Cabaret do you? Of course. I was there for six months. I didn't have one friend. I played a hockey tournament over in Prague when I was like 16,

and we fucking never were prepared for hockey games because we would be like, it was like 14 to 16-year-olds, and we saw one day from our hotel room, just saw a bus drive by. We're like, Don, it's Cabaret. We'll pick you up in this bus. Every single night, we're like, dude, we can go to strip clubs. This is amazing. It's an awesome town town I think we should

hear your story I actually it was my 16th birthday over there and I had braces and I got a lesbian lap dance during it

okay my friends bought it for me it was like my first time ever doing anything like that they took my shirt off which I felt really uncomfortable with

because I was fucking 16 it's like your face can look 16 your your braces can look 16. Once the shirt pops off, it's like, you are too young for you to shoot. You are a child. There is not a fucking inch of muscle tone on you. I'd probably be better taking my shirt off then than now.

This is staying on. Prague is, I mean, an amazing city, though. Anybody who's ever been there is nothing but good things to say about it. Yeah, it's beautiful. It is. It's like one of the only big European cities to never be touched by war. You know, never bombed. In fact, I spit out, too.

Like, World War II didn't affect it. So you guys read the Wikipedia page. Okay. Got it. That's my one thing, too. So now we can move on. That's my one thing, too. So now we can move on. That's my only smart prog thing. You also were a part recently of True Detective, the latest season of True Detective, which I thought was a big bounce back.

I think a lot of people were kind of down on it from season two. Yeah. After season one was, you know, this, like, TV revelation. But, I mean, the cast on that and the story on that was something. Oh, it's probably arguably in the in the conversation of best television ever. That first season. I think the second season suffered a lot from comparison. Absolutely.

You know, I mean, people talk about it like it was the worst thing ever on TV. And if it had just come out first, I'd have been like, that's pretty good. You know what they did too? I mean, they doubled. There was four major players. It was a lot going on. It was a lot to juggle. And then I feel like they kind of went back to what worked from the first season.

Just two guys, a couple different timelines, amazing acting performances. I mean, Marshall Ali, it's a joke. It's a joke. It's like, what are you doing? It's mesmerizing, isn't it? I mean, that's my word I'll use too. Mesmerizing, right? Yeah.

That's my one Mahershala Ali smart thing. Who's like the most impressive person you think you've ever worked with? Like considering Mahershala, everything you've done. Who's the one where you get on set and you're like, oh shit, I'm in the ring with Tyson right now. Oh, man. I mean, that's a good one because you're talking about a guy in his prime. Yeah.

You know what I mean? I worked with Diane Lane. That was kind of cool. She's just intimidating. You know, it's Diane Lane. It's intimidating. That's a great word for Diane Lane. Yeah.

You've seen Unfaithful? It's a great word for Diane Lane. You've seen Unfaithful? It's a great word for it. I also saw Only the Brave. Were you involved in that? I was, just barely. Yeah, small role. But, I mean, that movie, I have to show you this, because that movie was, that movie. Actually, on Only the Brave, you have Josh Brolin.

Josh Brolin's a terrifying person. I don't know if he is in real life or if that's only his roles. No, he is. But I could be like, I don't know, man. Just stay away. Give me the green screen at the end of this one. Watch, this is what Only the Brave did to me. It absolutely wrecked me as a human.

I was sitting alone by myself, weeping. I was laughing and crying because I was like, this is ridiculous, dude. Clean it up. If you've never seen the movie, I mean, only the Brave. It's about these California hotshots fighting fires, and it takes a downward turn. Two stories. Yeah, it goes down south quick and I was by myself

red face sobbing like stop I mean stop it dude stop it it's just a movie I couldn't believe it I still don't know

why that movie it was very popular and extraordinarily well rated but I still feel like it doesn't get the interest it deserves with the cast it has

the story was it was such an incredible movie that it was it was one of those I saw it with my dad and my brother and just everyone drove home in silence get saw it with my dad and my brother,

and just everyone drove home in silence. Get in the car, my dad turns off the radio. It's just like everyone shut the fuck up, stare forward and try and hold back tears in front of your dad. You're just like, brother, I don't want to be weeping on the way home. Yeah, it's one of those that maybe it does chance to really grow once people start ordering it into their homes and watching it. Yeah, right. Yeah, it was an important movie and well done. really grow once people start ordering it into their homes and watching it in their mouth. But yeah, it was an important movie

and well done and it never seemed to hit the way it should have. What do you think the best thing you've been involved in is ever? Shoot, man, that's tough. You've been involved in a lot. Whiskey Cavalier on ABC. Wednesdays at 10.

That's hard. If people ask what's the favorite thing ever like that, but it's, you know, because some things didn't do well or whatever, but I made friends, lifelong friends, you know,

it all works out different ways. I have no idea what the best thing I've, I've obviously probably known most for, uh, what's it? Oh, Courtney Cox. Cougar Town, baby. I know. I just say it. It's all good.

I can't remember. Alright, Courtney Cox or Jennifer Aniston. Who was the real winner? First of all, I cannot comment. Courtney's one of my best friends. You can say Courtney because that's one of my best friends So You can say Courtney That's the right answer Oh it's Courtney

Yeah Okay sure Fuck you Sure I'll leave that alone Guy was on a show with her But No

Agree to disagree There's no We all win there Yeah We're all winner So we play this game Your birthday booze crew We take your birthday

Every other famous person Or celebrity That was also born on your birthday, you pick who you would want to run out on the town with. Okay. We got a list here of people to choose from. I don't know if you have this, but Jesse Owens. Jesse Owens was on. I didn't put him on the list because I didn't know if Jesse Owens would be too much fun to hang out, like, party with. Yeah, but some good questions.

For sure. That's a good conversation. It's a good, you know, let's sit down to our birthday dinner. But to run out on the town, you know, one night in Prague at the take the bus to the strip club or run around Nashville or whatever it may be. It is unfortunate that you with Scott Foley. I left Jesse Owens off the list, but I did put Louis C.K. just to see what you'd say. Hey, that would be an entertaining booze cruise. He's on.

He's on. You also have Paul Walker, rest in peace, 2 Chainz, Emmy Rossum, Yao Ming, Andrew Luck, Louis C.K., and Brian White. You have a, sometimes we do this and it's like, you know, just luck of the draw, there's not that many people. That's a fucking heavy hitter list to pick from.

It's a big crew. And I'll tell you who I would go with. Yao Ming. If I could roll out with Yao Ming, you walk in the bar with an eight-foot-tall human. Yeah. Incredible. That'd be a good best friend to have. I bet Yao's kind of like, you know how they say Andre the Giant would drink like a barrel of whiskey?

Yep. Yao can drink two. I would imagine. Gotta be that size. You've got two chains, though, right? He's different. Yeah, he's different. I wouldn't mind a night with Emmy Rossum.

I also think Paul Walker, if he was still around, would be a good wingman to have. But two chains is just an absolute blast. What was the last one? Barry White. That's not a bad one. Just imagine if Barry White was, like, your best friend. You'd be like, oh, Barry's calling. Barry?

Yeah, Barry White. Barry White. We were born on the same day. That's this weird thing that happened. It was just kismet. We're brothers. Maybe do a little True Detective season four. You and Barry White solving crime.

Absolutely. Is Barry White alive? Sure. I have no idea. Yeah, neither do I. That's a good Dead or Alive to play. That's a good Dead or Alive. I don't think so.

I'm going to guess no. The picture they used for him certainly wasn't a recent one. I think I'm going to guess yes. Died 2003. Shit. I would have guessed like 76. He lived a full life. Yeah, pretty good.

All right, man. We really appreciate you coming through, especially on L.A. time. Not a morning guy. Looking sharp as always, though. Whiskey Cavalier, Wednesdays ABC, 10 o'clock. Go check it out. Watch for Darling's Cabaret in the background. In a beautiful

city untouched by war. I went to Darling's Cabaret so long ago that they would take your cameras from you when you went in. That's how old I was. You're a little wind up. It was a digital camera, but I tried to sneak those in, obviously. And they would hold them at the front desk for you.

If you had cameras. Yeah, there's a 16-year-old kid coming in here with cameras. Let's take his shirt off. Great stuff, man. Really appreciate it. Thanks a lot. Thanks for having me, guys.