KFC Radio - Justice For Jamie Lynn's Cats

Episode Date: January 19, 2021

Subscribe, Rate, and Leave a Review! -Billionaire goes missing in China -KFC is Quitting the internet -Bringing back roller blading -KFCs Look Like Armie Hammer -Top 5 celebrities that we think are fans of qanon even though we have no proof of it whatsoever -Jamie Lynn Spears has killed many cats with her Tesla -Voicemails -What’s the dumbest reason you’ve stopped talking to a friend? -What activity has been made worse by the popularization of zoom calls? -Is it precrime to save screenshots of sexts from your ex? -If you won the lottery, would you give some money to a friend? Let us know what you think on twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @Feitsbarstool Everyone tweet at @macczack21 that KFC looks like Armie Hammer, please and thankyou!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. If I told you how many cat carcasses I I hit the power wall off my driveway. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports um what i have a question for you okay what is the point of being a billionaire in china i don't have an answer for you kevin i i would imagine getting good with the government and then you can do whatever you want basically Basically the point of being a billionaire anyway. Yeah, but here's the thing. There, I guess you've got to be good with the government.

Yeah. If you're not good with the government, you're in trouble. It's a bad spot to be down there. There's like six missing billionaires in China. Really? Yeah. They just disappear. And it's all immediately after they say bad things about the government.

It's nuts. Jack Ma is the one making headlines now. He runs Alibaba. So he's the Chinese Jeff Bezos. Okay. And Alibaba is a social media app? No, it's a Chinese Amazon. Oh, okay.

So he's really, yeah. So he came out. So he was also going, he was going to have an IPO with something called Ant Group, like a huge like fintech monster thing. This was back in like October, November. Two days before he

does that he comes out and he says you know like the government's bullshit like their banking system's fucked their financial regulations are trash this sucks you don't often hear billionaires criticizing the financial regulation system that is well and i guess maybe that's the problem uh but he says that and then they they just shut down the whole ipo they're like oh yeah well you're not doing that anymore and he's just been gone ever since. And that was months ago? That was in October. He is also, like, he's on show.

Well, how long does it have to be gone before we say dead? Well, okay, so that's my thing. So he's also on, like, Chinese Shark Tank. He just didn't show up. So, like, there's TV shows that are missing him. Like, he's just like, okay, Jack Ma's not here. I guess we'll just, like, go with the other guy. He has not made any appearances appearances missed a tv show not on social media

not in the news and then like just a couple days ago a couple weeks ago somebody was like you know he's fine he's just laying low he's just laying low who's that the president yeah i think i think like a government it was either another government official or someone else in the financial world where it's just like no no, he's not. No, he's not. Or like, yeah, he's laying low in a fucking box somewhere. He's laying low at the bottom of a river. And so then I started reading about it.

There's like four or five other guys. Gone. There was one guy, Ren Shu Chang, some shit like that. He got sentenced to death for bribery and corruption. That happens like every day in China, too. Anywhere. Any businessman, but China. Yeah, bribery, corruption, death.

Another guy got like 18 years in prison. Did he get killed or is he still missing? I think so. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I don't know exactly how the sentencing was carried out. Then there's a fashion billionaire who he spoke up against the president. Gone. There's the Chinese Warren Buffett. He's gone.

What's the fucking point? I'll tell you who I agree with now. Everybody in the NBA. Yeah. Shut my fucking mouth. Hell yeah. I'm not speaking up on these motherfuckers. They will disappear you.

I got to come over to some and run a camp. They're great. I love them. The whole concentration. Yeah, it's not a concentration camp I'm running, by the way. It's for children and basketball. But the oogers are. Yeah, they definitely.

Whatever they're doing with them is totally right. Daryl Morey, all those people. Are you fucking crazy? Just zip your fucking lip. Go play ball in exhibitions over there. Keep them happy or you will be gone. If those guys can get disappeared, you know what I mean? Like Jack Ma is a fucking billionaire.

Okay, so what's the point of living there afterwards? That's what I'm saying. Why don't you just get rich and leave? Come on over. We have most of the billionaires. We'll take all of them. Take all of them. And then you contrast it with what goes on when you're a billionaire here.

You know what you can do in America if you're a billionaire? Anything. Anything. You want to run the government? You basically can. Bill Gates, you're rich. Take care of Corona for us. You don't even have to know what you're doing.

You just have to be rich. It's not even you basically can. You do. You can. Yeah. You can be elected president with no experience. And everyone's like, well, he seems like he knows what he's doing just because all we care about is money. Which also, I mean, usually is a pretty

good, in my book, I'd say, I don't know, the rich guy knows what he's doing. Oh, I disagree with that wholeheartedly. Because we talked about that the other day. Yeah, I mean, you can get rich without knowing what you're doing, but the thing is, nobody knows what they're doing. Right. So the guy who's rich is at least smarter than the rest of us who don't know what we're doing.

I think the rich guy's luckier than the rest of us. I think there are a lot of – There are some billionaires smarter than us, no doubt, of course. I think there are also some who are stupider than us. Definitely. I mean, Dave's the dumbest millionaire of all time. The billionaires, though, which billionaires do you think are smarter than? I need a list.

Are you smarter than any of the well-known ones, the Zuckerbergs, the Bezos? No, no, heavens no. Not anyone who knows how to code. If you can code, then no, I'm not. Bezos knows that shit? Bezos is a maybe. Because Bezos gets... They all get the credit for starting in a garage.

In a garage. Everybody fucking starts in a garage. Bezos got a $200,000 loan from his parents. He didn't have to be in a garage. He could have rented a fucking office if he wanted. The garage was attached to a fucking estate. You know what I mean? Come on.

You're not smarter than Bill Gates. You're not smarter than Zuckerberg. Be I mean come on you're not smarter than Bill Gates you're not smarter than Zuckerberg Bezos Musk you're not smarter than those guys I might be smarter than Warren Buffet I'm definitely more savvy Warren Buffet doesn't know how to use an iPhone no idea how to use an iPhone Warren Buffet gets his stakes well done I imagine right if I

if I like handed him an iPhone and said like hey you know set up your email on this, he'd be like, what? Couldn't do it. So therefore, in modern terms, he might know more about the economy and how to run a business. And even that, I'm still not sure. I feel like he got in early and made his money, and now he's just chilling. How about Ballmer? You smarter than him?

Is he smart? Yeah, no, he's smart. He's big smart. I know he's Apple, but I didn't know if he's one of those guys. No, he's not Apple. He's Microsoft. Oh, Microsoft. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was the one dancing around with Bill Gates. Yeah, he's a he's big smart i know he's apple but i didn't know if he's one of those guys no he's not he's microsoft yeah yeah yeah he was he was he was the one dance around with

bill gates yeah he's a maniac yeah absolute maniac and i will i would be scared much like the people are good people over in china i would be scared to criticize him because he'd just come over here and like i don't know he'd do something weird to me he'll like beat you to death but like yeah like he's a crazy man it wouldn't be like he'd have me killed. He'd have me killed and he'd fuck my corpse. This guy just loves basketball and cheers hard. You have him fucking your corpse? He's a psychopath. Are you kidding me?

Why? Did he do other shit? He'd make sure I was still warm. He's not fucking a cold body. Don't get me wrong. But he'd make sure I was light. Him and Arnie are going to double team you. I feel like... Were you smarter than Jeffrey Epstein?

Jeffrey Epstein? Heavens yes. I think he was like super smart. I think he was like a super villain. They said, you know. Look, I could take pictures of people fucking kids and just give me money. I could blackmail people. No problem.

I could do that. I could blackmail people really easy. But they said that like he walked in a room and everybody was under his charm. He could just control the room. That's not smart. I know, but that's almost bad. He could be charming. I'd much rather be charming than smart.

I'd rather be Epstein than Zuckerberg. Oh, yeah. At least Epstein's been to a party. Sure, it was. Exactly. It was his week 16, but still. But yeah. But yeah. But yeah.

All right. Let's get back on track. God, I love this show. I love this show. When I say that one got away from me. That one did get away from me. Here's the thing. Here's the thing.

I might be a billionaire soon because the jackpot's up to $850 million. Is it? And I'm telling you, man, I'm winning this one. That's one of those things. I'm winning this one. The lottery is one of those things where I just bury my head in the sand because I'm like, well, if I don't even try, I can't lose. Right. I do commend that, sir.

It is. But $850, man. Jackpot takes away the excuse. I don't have that excuse anymore. Well, and I keep saying this, and I keep putting it off, because at this point I want to make it so it's a billion. I want to get my ticket for free through Jackpot, and I want to win a billion dollars for free.

Could you imagine that? I don't even want to pay $10. I don't even want to pay a dollar for this. I will not do it. And I got a billion dollars from it. Jack Pocket right now is the app on your phone where you can buy lottery tickets that when you use the code BARstool you can get a free mega million or powerball ticket so uh you know as you listen to this it'll be tonight so go get it right now do it for free wait you can

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Thank you. Oh, God. Honestly, the $850 million, I know it's smarter to always take the lump sum, but $850,000 so much that the annuity is probably not fucking bad, and then you don't lose like $200 million. Why are you saying annuity? I know what that is. Well, you either lump sum or you get paid out every year.

So usually if I win $20 million, it's like just give me half that and give it to me right now. But you win $850,000, if you get paid every year, you're going to get like $8, $9, $10 million a year. That's pretty fucking good, and you don't have to lose like $200 million. They always tell you, like, get your money now and I'll invest it and all that shit. Yeah. But it's like, you got to, you know.

I think I'd rather buy a Bonita deal. That's what I'm saying. It might not be smart. No, that's what I mean. It might not be the financially responsible thing. So. I'd like to wake up every January 1st with an extra $10 million I didn't count. That's what I'm saying.

If all of a sudden tomorrow your salary was $8, $9, $10 million a year, you'd be on cloud nine. So if you win $850, let's say, I think taxes makes that around like $600, and then lump sum makes that around like $300. I think in this one you'd walk away with like $500, $500, $550. So it's like $150, $200 million extra dollars, and all you got to do is get it over the years, and then every year for 30 years. Oh, for 30.

See, I was making sure it wasn't like a lifetime deal. 30 years. And then what if I die, which I will. Buddy, yeah. A 30-year deal is a lifetime deal for us. You think we're living past that? But if I die, does it go to a family member? I'm sure.

I'm sure. I don't think they just get it back. If that's the case, then fuck no. But I'm sure it's like your money to put wherever. Pop quiz. You go on Jackp and you and you hit the lottery what's the first thing you do first thing i do yeah honestly nothing i would be like joe flacco i'd probably have five guys on the way home did flacco go like would you would you tell people or not uh yeah yeah i would i would would you like tweet it yeah

on the spot I'd bake it I won so I guess there's the answer first thing I do I tweet it secondly

first thing I do I tweet I am not the richest person in barstool sports then I tweet then I get five guys you know what you gotta do they say to put your ticket

in like a safe box you gotta go put like your phone in there or something right you got your jack pocket account I don't want anyone hacking that shit I don't want me what if you lose your phone what if I drop my phone phone in there or something you got your jack pocket account I don't want anyone hacking that shit what if you lose your phone

what if I drop my phone in the water so you gotta put your jack pocket phone in a bank account, you tell nobody you go set up a trust, you get your money tweet and guess what I do for the rest of my life Kevin tweet that's it

guess who you can't cancel, a guy with 500 million dollars impossible, I would just be a Tweet. That's it. Tweet. Because you can't cancel. Got $500 million. Impossible. I would just be a professional tweeter. What's your job? I tweet. That's what Jack Pocket can do for you. I would even open up my tweet to ads. I'll do ads. Fine.

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This is not a gambling. This is not a wager. This is just a free shot at $800 million. Ain't nobody gambling here. I think I do need to retire. I'm retiring soon. I'm retiring. How come? The internet has just gone too soon. I'm retiring. How come?

The internet has just gone too soft. It's gone, not soft, it's gone. The internet's become everything I hate and everybody that I hate. There was a time back in, you know, 09, 10, 11, where I feel like most of the time I agreed with, like, average people.

And then yesterday it became starkly clear to me that that's not the case anymore. When I had people telling me that I should take my groceries in the cart out to the parking lot to bag them myself in my trunk, like that's a normal thing. Okay. So I have multiple takes on this. I have never seen. First of all, I don't think that's what they were suggesting. Anyone in the world do that.

I think... I saw you getting... That's exactly what... They were literally telling me, bag them in your trunk. But I think to leave the bags in your car means take the bags in with you when you go in. No, no, that's where this all came from. Because I said, I don't have any... They said...

So I'm getting groceries and they say, do you need any bags? And I'm like, I don't... Does it look like I have a bunch of fucking bags? Right. And I have 65 items. Which is an obscene question. I'm with you 100% that's the self-care. So, yes, I need fucking bags. And they say, do you need any bags? And I'm like, I don't. Does it look like I have a bunch of fucking bags? Right. And I have 65 items. Which is a seen question. I'm with you 100%. So yes, I need fucking bags.

And they were saying, no, take your groceries in the cart, bring them to your trunk, and put them in bags in your trunk that you leave in your trunk. And then you bring them into your house. I have never seen someone in the parking lot bagging their own groceries in a trunk. No, but that's because you leave them in the car. And then you take them with you into the market. And then you bag them there. No, they're saying, take all your food to the trunk of your car and bag it.

But why would you do that? But I get having permanent bags that you leave in your car and then you just bring them into the market with you. Why would you do that? They're saying, I guess if you forgot them. I don't know. I don't know why. I do not know why. They're telling me, why don't you leave the grocery?

And that is a take that in 2010 you would be bullied off the internet for. Anybody who would be like, you use bags? I take my groceries to the trunk by myself and bag it up there. We would metaphorically chop your head off and bury your body. That just doesn't make any sense. I feel like that person is an individual who's dumb. Because you just take your bags in with you and you give that to the bagger

and the bagger bags it. Correct. And I think they're saying either it's if you forget it or some people will just skip the bagging and do it yourself in the parking lot. Well, that's just completely not acceptable. I mean, it's insanity. That's fighting with a person who thinks the sky is blue. I couldn't.

It just doesn't make sense. I couldn't believe there was even a single person, let alone multiple people, saying, bag your own groceries in the trunk. It is. In the trunk. Could you imagine? I've never seen that in my life, so that cannot be that common. If I ever saw someone just taking out, like, just wheeling. If I saw that, I'd be like, I would assume that person is stealing groceries.

I'd be like, you're just taking a whole fucking cart out. You're just taking gallons of milk and putting it. Yes, blowing past the receipt checker. And I just, I can't do that. I can't work on an internet that's like that anymore. I can't work on an internet where me fucking joking around about the bag situation is not met with like 99% approval and agreement. I can't. I actually think the bag situation is worse for the environment. I'm sure it is. is not met with, like, 99% approval and agreement. I can't.

I actually think the bag situation is worse for the environment. I'm sure it is. Because guess what? I go to the market rather regularly, not super often, but, you know, I grab things here and there. And the market and the liquor store, and because we don't do bags here anymore, and they're always like, would you like to buy?

It's like a dollar for a permanent bag. Yeah. One of those tote-type bags? Yeah. So I just buy those every time. Yep. Guess who has 30,000 fucking permanent bags in his apartment? All of them hanging on the back of my door.

So I have to... They hang so much over my door that I can't really get to my doorknob. So I have to fucking move bags to open my door, to walk out to realize I forgot bags, to buy another bag, and come back and hang it on my door. And what are you going to do with those one day? You're going to fucking bag them up and throw them in the garbage. They're going to sit in a landfill where they one day drown a tortoise who's 350 years old. So when that endangered species is dead, it's because you fucking bagger pussies. Because of West Side Market permanent bags.

Fucking assholes. I hate that so much. started stealing those by the way you steal yeah i steal those how uh when i do self-checkout they're like do you want bags i'm like yeah and they're like put in the number of bags you gotta like we're gonna charge you i'm like yeah okay yeah that's happening and to me that's my silent protest like not today not today fucking postmark this today this one is mine whole foods i'm taking this with me that is it is also crazy when they when they say it's another five cents and they and they say it to me like it's a real decision do you need bags um first of all yes i need fucking bags they're like okay well it's gonna be five bag five cents extra i'm like wow oh geez i don't know if i can make rent anymore. You fucking asshole! And then they give me the bags

and it's the paper bags. I'm buying $300 worth of groceries. I think I'll handle the 20 cents of bags. Thank you. Yeah, like... Maybe 30 cents of bags. I can... I'll survive. And then they give me the brown paper bags with no handles, which is just... I might as well just carry them like this. That should only be reserved for bottles of alcohol. Absolutely. You're not carrying

groceries I need a handle on. For sure. Give me... And also, I understand environment, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We should have pressed pause for the pandemic. We should have been like, we're going back to the plastic. We're going to kill the earth for a little bit longer because we got bigger fish to fry. Once we're done with this, we can go back to asking people if they want bags. But right

now, let's fucking choke out a seagull. The environment thing always pisses me off. Always. Because here's the deal. I will do my part. I am obviously, I believe in climate change. I think all this shit. I will do my part. But 90% of the fucking pollution comes from 100 companies in the world.

So me fucking throwing one single water bottle away because there isn't a fucking recycling bin isn't changing that fucking much. So get off my fucking vagina. Yeah, man. I'm with you on that. I mean, but you know me. I feel about everything in the government or in the environment. It's like I'm not. Listen, whether I stop or not.

It's not. It's not. I think everyone should try and do their part. But also, like, don't yell at me. Yell at fucking the other company yell at amazon who sends me 17 different things that i made in one order in 17 different boxes with a shitload of fucking plastic in that stuff and then it's on me you're giving me the fucking chore that i have to recycle all this bullshit why don't you put it in one box bezos

we we get these ati we have a lot of at ATI questions about if you could travel back in time, what would you do? And I wouldn't invest in Amazon. I would go invest in big cardboard. I mean, big cardboard has to be killing it. Bobby Kraft's killing it. Is that what he is? I mean, I don't believe it is anymore,

but the Kraft's got their money from a cardboard box company. I mean, cardboard is – business is booming. I mean, I got cardboard – i got a stack of cardboard in my apartment mostly because i just forget recycling about three times like three months in a row but i mean it looks like christmas every day it's like and all i did is just order some regular shit off of like the internet and they all just come in gigantic boxes and multiple boxes and it's all i mean somebody out there is chopping down trees and making cardboard and just laughing like Scrooge fucking McDonald. I got a Polaroid camera for Christmas and then got like 10 fucking film. There's only like 10 pictures per box.

Fucking 11 boxes for a camera. And it came all different days and shit like that. And I get it. My responsibility is gone to a fucking Photoshop store or whatever. But see, this is what I mean. You're giving in. You're giving in. I'm always giving in.

If you yell at me, I give in. The internet has said things like that to you. The modern internet says, oh, you ordered that off of Amazon? Why don't you go to your local photography store? Like, what even is that? Because Bezos put it out of business. Where would I even fucking go to get a fucking camera and film?

Where would I do that? No, it's on the internet now. And it's just like, I don't understand why they were on their boxes, but it was just like, I had just stacks of boxes everywhere at all times. It doesn't make any sense. And then guess what I hate more than anything? It's probably my

least favorite chore, breaking down a box. Because then I gotta carry that downstairs and stick it with the other boxes. That's something I haven't done either. You don't break down boxes? I do very, very little. What does that mean? What I'll usually do is I have one thing is usually a gigantic box, and then I just box it all up. Okay.

I think that's okay. But, like, the people who break it all down and, like, tie it up into a nice little – Oh, I don't fucking tie it. What am I, a consoler? It's crazy. I'm barely able to tie a knot. When you got to do, like, the – it's hard. It's hard. What was that? I'm barely able to tie a knot when you gotta do like the

it's hard it's hard it's like a tiktok dance you wrap it around this way and then you wrap it around that way and then you bow it on the top it's not easy that's what you have to do at your house?

no no no again I don't know what I have to do all I know is what I do do and it's not that but I see these people who put it into this nice little fucking compact. I'm like, oh, you got way too much time on your hands. No, we can make it pretty messy because the fucking super takes care of it. But it still has to peel that one piece of tape.

And it doesn't sound like it is, but it is. What would you rather as a garbage man? I mean, every time you come by my house for recycling, it's empty, except for like once every three months. It's a fucking shit ton. Oh, that one, for sure. So, yeah, me too. Because I think I put out so much cardboard, I'm like, ah, maybe I should tip them.

I'm like, but they haven't done shit for like three months. Tip them? I don't know, man. You're tipping garbage men now. How do you even tip a garbage man? The internet bullied me. That's a thing. Yeah.

What's that thing in like suburbs and stuff? You tip your garbage man on like Christmas and holidays. Yeah, I tape a 20 to the fucking thing. Okay, I guess i guess you can tape him i'm thinking you gotta fucking sit out there just wait no no i tape it but then sometimes like i don't even know if you got fucking garbage man makes more than me shut up about a tip garbage man is one of those one of those jobs like plumber and garbage man where you're probably probably chilling well that's that's i think that's one like something a sentiment I've heard before is like

when teachers told you like if you don't learn you're gonna be a garbage man one day what they fail to mention is that garbage man makes double what she's making and they retire at like 30

and they get to ride on the back of the truck which is cool there's a few things that I always thought was cool as a little kid I thought it was cool I thought pumping gas

was cool for two reasons I just thought it was cool to like have the gun and shit and then they had a lot of cash on them. This is back when people used to pay for cigarettes. I was like, damn, garbage. Gas men are rich.

I thought it was awesome to ride on the back of garbage trucks. I was like, I want to do that when I grow up. That's what I'm aiming to be. It's probably the whole reason why we started holding onto cars with bicycles. Yeah, yeah. You gotta think about how crazy it is, all the things we survived. By the way, I never really actually did that. You did think about how crazy it is all the things we survived. Oh, by the way, I never really actually did that.

You did that? I always wanted to do that. I only ever did it on a bike. No, I'm sure I did it on a bike. I did it on rollerblades very often. Yeah? Like your mom was driving the car

or you would grab onto her hand? Like my mom, my dad more often. But you wouldn't... And we're not going fucking 50 miles an hour. No, of course. It's just like a little cruise.

But it's pretty cool. It's happened on occasion. Have you ever melted a skate doing that? Have you ever melted a skate doing that? Have I ever melted a skate doing that? No. What, like you're going so fast it fucking... Yeah, we had a kid... No, I went that fast. I went like in a parking lot.

We got up to 30 miles per hour. What? I was a little kid. Yeah, it was very irresponsible. Yeah. And the wheel of his skate melted, and he almost fucking ate it. Wait a minute. Like the wheel from his skate melted, and he almost fucking ate it. Wait a minute. Like, the wheel from just rolling?

Yeah, the rubber wheel. It got, like, very hot and melted down. I was thinking, like, the stopper thing would make sense, but, like, the wheels are supposed to just roll. You can't be doing that with a stopper. No. You've got to be more experienced than a stopper guy with that. That's like you're riding with fucking training wheels.

But wheels are supposed to roll. They're not supposed to just disappear. But they get, like, rollerblade wheels because. That's like, you're right. We'll fucking, but we'll, but we'll, there's supposed to roll. They're not supposed to just disappear. They get like, like rollerblade wheels. Cause there's friction to get like angled. Oh yeah. You have to like rotate them around. Yeah.

I mean, I used to have ones that were like a trapezoid. I was like, I'm about like 18 months late on rotating these bad boys. I think they're done, man. Absolutely. Nothing better than a fresh pavement,

freshly paved road with rollerblades. Look at you! That feeling was great. My dad used to chase those down like they were a wave. He'd check around the city like, oh, I saw some tar. I smell some tar in the air. Let's go find it. He'd call up the city planner. What roads are getting

retard this week? Honestly, that's one of those things where I say, like, life was best when you were just, like, Little League baseball, riding bikes, maybe jerking off and finding freshly paved roads to rollerblade. My dad was an adult man. He wasn't doing it for me.

Oh, oh. He was rollerblading? Yeah, yeah, no. I wasn't invited. I probably would have chipped up the tar a bit. So your dad was just out there just like... Still is. Just skating?

Still is. Oh, yeah. Really? Yeah. As exercise? As exercise. All he does is exercise. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's a fucking... He's a boulder. Your dad's a rock. He loves to skate. Yeah, and he's just like blades. It's not like he's breaking out. He's not playing hockey or anything. He's just blading.

No, just blading. Just cruising, listening to some breaking out. He's not playing hockey or anything. He's just blading. No, just blading. Just cruising, listening to some Rolling Stones. Is he geared up, or is he just straight rock? No, he might wear a helmet. Did you ever rock the wrist guard things? I definitely owned them. My mom tried. I think it was kind of like a winter jacket in school,

where you take that shit off, it's embarrassing to wear. So I'd put it on to leave the house. I never really got those, though, because it was like to wear right so like i put it on to leave the house right fucking i never really got those though because it was like plastic right yeah so if you hit all right you're like saving your wrist but aren't you just like sliding then onto the fucking like if you hit with like smooth plastic aren't you just i don't know the science behind it teeth just hitting the pavement then what you're saying makes sense to me yeah uh i like i didn't wear them enough to know how i would fall at them but there was i feel like those haven't stuck around too much yeah that was one of those things where it's like i think they're patently i don't think you can do anything else with your

hands you know i think once cell phones are invented i mean you can't the knee pads they had they had everything i don't think much of that is is worn in the rollerblading community anymore maybe i'm wrong i don't know i haven't i haven't kept touch that well man rollerblading worst pr in the world it's truly as someone who's rollerbladed recently anymore. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. I haven't kept touch that well. Man, rollerblading. Worst PR in the world. Truly. As someone who's rollerbladed recently. I mean, rollerblading is awesome. I think there still is a video somewhere out there. A documentary that made it about rollerblading back. You tried

to bring... That'd be good to bring back. He tried to bring rollerblading back in like 2015. We were in the new office. The reason I stopped doing it is because it was incredibly dangerous. would because i would rollerblade home every day in headphones and drunk i was like i am going to fucking get hit by a car you know what's a very funny thing to think of the intersecting venn diagram of drunk people and rollerbladers i bet it's i bet it's a small overlap but like a passionate one, you know?

Because you're either like a little kid rollerblading, or if you're rollerblading as an adult, you're probably not going out partying and drinking much. But then there's that rare unicorn who's sauced up, sitting there, slipping at a red light. I would love to see drunk Feidelberg just stumbling around this city pinballing. That was like the height of when we go to the Smith every day after work. I'd go and I'd have like two or three old fashions and I'd head home.

You're not drunk, but you're like, ooh, I'm feeling good. You shouldn't be fucking rollerblading with fucking headphones in New York City. You can't hear shit. You got people laying on their horn like, hey, you fucking drunk asshole, out of the way. And you're just like, what? Nothing.

And I got cheap rollerblades because that was, I think it was just for that, the skit we did. And so Spider-Man, I was like, told Spider-Man, get me a pair of rollerblades.

So these are ones with like the fucking stopper on them. Yeah, yeah. And there were a lot of like coming up to lights, like I can get there, I can get there, I can get there.

Oh! Yeah, you had to spin around. Spin around, yep, yep. And they were a lot of, like, coming up to lights. Like, I can get there. I can get there. I can get there. Oh! No, no, no. Yeah, you had to spin around. Just spin around. Yep, yep. And they were, like, really shitty fucking rollerblades. So, like, my ankles would bend in. It was all uphill, too.

It was a downed ass hole. I'd get home and just pass out from exhaustion and drunkenness. There's, like, a slight incline if you're going uptown on, like, Park Avenue. Yeah, exactly. And it's, like, it doesn't look like a hill but all of a sudden you're kind of gassed we're fucking 13 blocks straight just like it's not a hill hill but it's tricking you yeah this is not as easy as i thought it's gonna be did you ever i wouldn't push once on the way to work yeah that's when i'm feeling good in the morning i'm like all right refresh i can do it this is nice just a nice little glide and then coming home like jim howard is drunk thank god you were doing that when you were single

we're not living with anybody you you must have been a treat when you got home did you ever have like um uh like k2 rollerblades like the trick the trick kinds were you like grinding and shit yeah because i wanted to hang out at the skate park because the kids smoked and uh i didn't want to smoke i just want to hang out with kids who did smoke right um and uh i couldn't skateboard tried to ollie once didn't work out isn't that funny skateboarding i think is is like you're either a skater it's like being a boxer it's like you can be an athlete and not a skater skateboarder you know what i mean oh yeah like you can be an athlete and not and suck at fighting too it's like you might be incredible at whatever sport you play you hop on a skateboard if it's like foreign to you you look like you've never you know play a sport in your life i mean i still try

it around here with hanks and shit like that i can't i can't do anything i hop on i just like stand on hanks and i'm like nope nope my body knows like yeah like right yeah and he did the old like cartoon where he fell and he like kicked it out. He was smashed into a desk leg. I mean, that's one thing. If I could go back, that's not on top of my list, but it would be somewhere on my list, is I wish I could do some extreme sports things. That's why I couldn't.

I had those. I actually had Solomon's. Did you have the ones that had the two little baby wheels in the middle so you could grind? Like there was two main wheels. It wasn't like – yeah, yeah, yeah. There were no wheels though. There were no wheels in the middle. There were two wheels and then there was just like a little hood.

Okay. I thought there was like two – okay. No. But yeah, that was what you would grind on. Yeah, couldn't grind. I mean I don't think I even tried. But I watched these kids that were doing – I think it was called Unity when you crossed your legs. Yeah.

They were sitting there waxing up the curb and they were doing, and I had all that shit. Didn't know how to use any, I would just hang around them. Right. Which is equally fine. At least in the park. We were like,

we were, it was like, you know, you go there, like smoke cigarettes, like sneak some beer and fucking, and if you wanted to skate, you know,

it wasn't like I was just sitting. Look at a porn maggot. Yeah. Yeah. Like there was other things going on, but I never even considered doing that shit. Yell at a mom and her child real quick just to fucking prove you belong. Skate park topic.

Hold your hands with mommy, you little fucking pussy! Go back to not knowing how to fucking grind. I didn't even have skates on, man! Shit. Yeah, but I feel, and then, like, we went through, like, the BMX bike phase where I had, like, a had like a mongoose where I could like had those had pegs on them front and back couldn't do it right Matt Hoffman had it though so I had could you like could you bunny hop I mean I could fucking I could get up if I was riding with my friends I could get back onto the sidewalk just with the front wheel and And then boom, on the back.

That's not a trick. That's just while riding your bike. I had pegs. I could stand on the back, and I could hold the seat, and I could do, like, a little handlebar spin. Wait, what? Yeah, like, you stand on the back pegs. Okay.

The seat had, like, a little handle little handle on like the dick part of it, you know? And then I had like the handlebars I could spin. And I could like spin the handlebar around. That's pretty impressive.

I thought that was pretty good. I topped out at that though. But I mean, I mean the people who could like get their bike up like decent, like high off the fucking ground

and get on a, on a rail or a, you ever seen those, the videos of the people who like bounces like on one... Do they all just do ground tricks? Yes. I mean, that's insane. Most impressive stuff I've ever seen. And those bikes are made to be light, but they're still pretty heavy.

Get off the ground. And then I remember there were some kids who could do tricks, and I was kind of on the outside looking in. And I remember being like, yo, I don't want to be a poser. I like fucking around, but I'm not really... And they were like, well, you could do two things. could like do the tricks or you could go off for like jumps you could do like aerial shit and there was like this one spot on a playground that had a like a decently high curb i was just kind of it was almost like a little mini

cliff like very i don't know four feet something like that and i used to like go off of that and and i was like oh yeah yeah so i do like aerial stuff you know and they were like all right like come with us like you know and there was this like path in the woods that led to a fucking like a jump like a fucking it looked like a gigantic x games ramp and they were like yeah no this is what you're talking about right and i was like no not even close i was like it was so big i was like i'm not even going to attempt this one at all. I do remember one time I fell down a flight of stairs like five times in a row. I was riding my bike down the steps, and I tried. There was an elementary school nearby that had three flights of steps, and I was like, I'm going to ride down all three of these.

I was by my fucking self, and I just did it until I did it for just the ability to say that I did it. And I must have fallen down these fucking steps like a hundred times nobody was nobody was even there to see it john why did you keep trying for the fucking love of the game bro because i wanted to be extreme dude there was one extreme there was one i wanted to meet sal masakila one day at the X Games. There was one time I actually pissed blood. Like, after I, like, not like a straight red stream. But, like, it was like trying to go off, like, one of those, like, jumps we made where it was, like, three fucking logs on top with a fucking piece of plywood. Fucking thing spit me out because it would, like, bend down.

I landed right on a mongoose. And I was just like, I was just like, I started to go off. And everyone was like, who the fuck's on this? I was like, I got to go to the bathroom. And it just pissed one, dude. Never went to a doctor. Never got a follow up on that. I was embarrassed to tell

my mom. Went home with a fucking ball the size of a clementine. Pissed blood until I turned 30. First time I came, it was a fucking clot. First time I came, I thought I was menstruating.

Mom, dad, I got my period oh man I would absolutely not say something either if I did that to myself if I had to be like dad I'm pissing blood like why because I fucking broke my dick on my mongoose trying to be cool he's like no i was trying to do

a fucking superman yeah that's great then it's that time i went to i forget what it was called it was it was in a tony hawk video games like skate heaven i think in providence or in rhode island and it was like we're like oh we're gonna go check out the halfpipe. It was a fucking real halfpipe. Like, it was just like. And me being the asshole I am, I was like, I'll do it. I climbed up there.

I was like, boy, they called me on this one. Yo, halfpipes are. It was an X Games halfpipe. It's like, even just going down the halfpipe. Don't have to do any tricks. Just go up and down it. When you have to like stand there on a skateboard even and just tip all the way forward, hell no. I can't do that.

I couldn't do the half pipe that I was taller than at the skate park in my hometown. Hell no. And I was like, let's go check out the big boy. And I got up there. And boys at a masculinity would be like, anyway, where are the stairs down? Because I'm not doing it. Could you carry my bike down for me i thought my friends were gonna tell me it was crazy they didn't so i went full like two slams with that i was like all right let's do it oh man that's great walk my ass i have a i have a scar it's kind of faded now because that is also very very

emasculating to be like first of all to ask like how do we get down if I don't want to do this? Right. And then walking down the stairs as real skaters are coming up, you're just like – Yeah, I couldn't – there's no down. Nobody goes down these stairs. I was like nine. Yeah. I was probably like fucking pussy.

Yeah. You're like, oh, my board broke or something like that. Yeah. My skates malfunctioned. Yeah, I just threw the thing. Forgot my board. Oh, shit. I forgot.

Forgot to bring my skateboard to the half pipe. My bad, dude. My bad. I have a scar in my right calf. I went off a fucking dirt ramp, and I fell, and the gear wheel, like those teeth, dug into my... So it's like... I have like five little chunks of skin that got taken out of my... Still?

It's like very, very faint now. But it's yeah. I mean, 30 years ago. Yeah, right. It was like a long time ago. Yeah. The X Games life was just not for me. No, I want to be so badly.

In fact, I actually saw there's a question on Reddit the other day. That was if you could you get a million dollars, but you have to go live in a video game for a year. Could you do it? I was like, yeah, catch me on Venice Beach doing fucking ollies. Yeah. Easy peasy. You have to go be Snake in fucking Metal Gear Solid? Nah, probably not going to do that one.

If I could go hang out on the beach and break my elbow a couple of times, I can handle that. What would be your number one? That's it. I mean, it's the only video game I know. I still play it a little bit. I haven't gotten out of practice mode on Xbox yet. I'm like, where's this last box?

Where is the E in skate? I can't find it. I'm jumping everywhere. This happened last night. I try it all the time. I just can't fucking beat the opening level. What game would you be in, Nick? I'm trying to think of one that just doesn't have any bad guys who are always trying to kill you.

You could live in Grand Theft Auto and just not do anything illegal. Just go hang out with hookers and stuff. Just chill on the couch. Yeah, right. And then that's a whole life. That's just called living life. I think we're in that right now. Yeah.

This is just GTA 5 or whatever, New York City. Where all two pussies still get stars. Yeah, I mean, was there anything better than just a five-star chase? I mean, nothing. You know when they say... You know what's crazy about that game, though? Is like, a lot of times when I wasn't Trying to get a 5 star

I was just trying to drive well Yeah There were times where I was just like I'm just going to behave Stop at red lights Parallel park I feel like Just kill the hooker gotta be cool Gotta be cool

10-2 She's dead in the trunk but that's okay don't get pulled over I feel like you know the whole like video games lead to violence

thing is bullshit but I wouldn't be surprised if there's a couple anarchists out there who learned from learned how to do it Grand Theft Auto who are throwing

sticks at napalm at people that maybe picked up a trick or two from Vice City yeah I don't think it makes who you are

but I teach a lesson too if you want right if your ears are open to the lesson you can probably learn something right uh and then life then then we became adults and happiness came in the form of miller light i don't need anything i don't need i don't need the extreme rush anymore i don't need uh i don't need to like you know be competing I don't need any of that I just need a great taste, less filling, middle of the light That's the good and the bad about becoming an adult The bad is you kind of lose the magic And the good is you don't need the magic

You just got middle of the light I got magic in a bottle Yeah, right They put that magic into a can And so you need the adrenaline rush when you're a kid. You need to push the limit. And what do I need? I just need...

And I have a great taste, less filling. That's only 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12. That's another thing. When you were a kid, did you even know what a fucking carb was? What a calorie was? Kevin, I still don't. That's something I never, ever even worried about in my life. Now you've got to worry about it a little bit.

Calories are just like food points. Yeah. That's a good way to put it. Yeah, trying to get a high score every day. And boy, do I win. Boy, do I succeed. But if you are worried about your calories and your intake, Miller Lite makes it as healthy as possible with that great taste.

Less filling formula. Brewed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. And like I said, 96 calories and only 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Plenty of room for you to enjoy Miller Lights. And, you know, maybe you got some New Year's resolutions right now. Not going to get in the way. You can always have a couple Miller Lights and it's not going to derail your diet or your exercise, your workout. And you can always kick back and have a few cold ones with your friends when you're telling stories, having laughs, whether you got a serious story,

whether you got a funny one, whether you're just kicking back and spinning yarns, you got Miller Lite to get you through it. So right now for 2021, make sure it's the year of Miller Lite. Go to MillerLite.com slash KFC to find delivery options near you. You can have it delivered right to your front door now. You don't have to go to the store. You don't have to go to the bar. You don't have to interact with anybody. It can have it delivered right to your front door now. You don't have to go to the store. You don't have to go to the bar. You don't have to interact with anybody.

It just gets dropped off right at your front step when you go to MillerLite.com slash KFC. That's MillerLite.com slash KFC. We'll get into our voicemails in a minute. It is no guest January, at least for this episode. So there is no guest today. And, of course, we've got top fives. A very funny top five coming in a minute. But I'm thinking about just quitting the podcast game and just going to become

a male model. Just gonna, I'm just gonna go fill in for army hammer all, all of the roles. He's not going to get any more because he's a army now. Honestly, I've been covering this enough that we're on a first name basis. You had to throw in like hammer, you know, I don't mean the arm, you know, you know, me and my boy arm. I mean, I've been, I've been, the army hammer story has and my boy arm I mean I've been the army hammer story has consumed me

so yeah I'm on a first name basis this shit that keeps coming out about him I mean I don't know how we didn't cover this in 2019 he put up a video on the internet of his son sucking his toes his son sucked his toes like he was deep throwing his dad's big toe and second toe

and was like and the caption said this has been going on for seven minutes and then he said hashtag like foot fetish on fleek though and the kids is like and he's like and like i can kind of attest that like i mean not that i would never do that but like i don't know your kids do some weird shit sometimes that like if in the privacy like you're sitting there with like their parents just the parents and you and it's like you know you might not think you might not think it's weird because it's I don't know

just like a dumb kid and you're their parent whatever but that you have to know you can't like post those things and that one kind of you know crosses the line I think and that was 2019

and we like you know I'm like maybe because Armie Hammer's not that big of a star but I feel like that's something he's actually a much smaller star than I thought he was agreed if his name wasn't Armie Hammer I wouldn't a star, but I feel like that's something Barstow would have made fun of. He's actually a much smaller star than I thought he was. Agreed. If his name wasn't Armie Hammer, I wouldn't know who he was.

I feel like he's got a pretty distinct look because he's so fucking good looking. He's very handsome. He's 6'5", and there's two of them. Yeah. That was Frank and Friday Night Pints. That was one of the highlights of the show. Two of Frankie's best jokes ever have always been with Armie Hammer. Yeah, that one and the Navy Hammer joke frankie and army just killing it he so the latest is that army hammer has this uh private instagram account which like he's bragging

about beating drug tests and like hiding in the cayman islands anybody who just like has a place in the cayman islands you know is doing some illegal shit nobody just like has a place in the caymans yeah that's the caymans is like that's where you i don't even know in the Cayman Islands you know is doing some illegal shit. Nobody just like has a place in the Caymans. Yeah, that's true. The Caymans is like that's where you... I don't even know where the Cayman Islands are. No idea.

No, I mean I imagine where the criminals go. But... Yeah, I would think so. Couldn't tell you like the actual... As far as I'm concerned the only island in the Caribbean

is the Bahamas. I guess there are a couple and then there's Jamaica. Then there's the Saints. You know, there's the St. John's and St. Joe's and St. Bart's and St....

But you could throw out a name like there might be a St. Mike's. I don't know. Nah, no St. Mike's. Maybe. Maybe. Did you know there was... St. Bart's, St. John's, St. Joe's, St. Bart's. But you could throw out a name. There might be a St. Mike's. I don't know. Nah, no St. Mike's. Maybe. Maybe. Did you know there was... St. Bart's, St. John's, St. Thomas.

Did you know there was a little St. whatever? I feel like there's some islands out there. Yeah, I did. I told that story. Yeah, you did know that. Yeah, they were like, that's where the American pedophile lives. Right. Okay.

Worst kept secret. Not going to ask any questions about that. Keep it moving. Why don't we go fish? Yeah. Go fish. But, yeah, Caymans I feel like is where you hide a lot of your money because there's, like, tax shelters and shit,

and that's where Armie Hammer's got to go hide out because he's never going to get a job ever again. And I will just fill in for him. I will just do all the movie roles now because I look like army hammer. Before Zach gets in. Um, I don't really disagree with it. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, here's, so here's the thing. There's a take floating around the internet now with people saying that I look like army hammer before Zach goes fucking crazy because he wants to bang army hammer. And now that he said he kind of wants to bang me, that's why he's uncomfortable because he's like, now that he's said he kind of wants to bang me that's why he's uncomfortable because he's like wait a minute now I kind of have to bang Kevin so I just wanted on the record that I never once have said this

I don't even know if I agree with it but everyone else is saying it so I'm running with it but I didn't say this unbelievable spin zone it's not a spin zone I have never said this now you're already backtracking just being like oh yeah no I never said this Iacking i just want another record no no i just want it on the record that i would never run around being like yo i look like army hammer i'm just saying that's

for other people to say and they happen to be saying i have gone i got a text from a friend from home who obviously follows barstool and follows like you guys me whatever and he was like yeah so kevin just like keeps tweeting at you. Well, yeah, now that I'm getting tons and tons of support for the take. I mean, it's for you to say that you don't believe that now is just, I actually don't also, but I will take it. So you think, you think other people actually think you look like Kelly Keegs. I mean, yeah.

Kelly Keegs was willing to bang this man after he came out as a cannibal by the way I know which is crazy because it's like that's why I'm calling bullshit on Kelly because it's like if I said all these things she wouldn't she would be like you're fucking weird you're gross so it's just Armie Hammer and how he looks I don't think I look like that

but other people do Zach other people do yes Jackie Jackie I'm not gonna make my personal but I have seven roommates uh-huh I asked all of them Zach I'm sorry I thought that was going the other direction for sure looks a little bit like come on it's just like first of all he's a good-looking guy but he's just like kind of a white guy you know literally I was gonna say you can just

find like random white guys just be like, oh yeah, maybe he looks like Kevin Klanthorne. Maybe that means that you guys are putting Armie Hammer too high on a fucking pedestal. He just kind of looks like an average white guy who's good-looking, but it's not like he's some exotic-looking handsome guy. He just looks like an average white guy who's good-looking, so he's not an average white guy. He's a good-looking white guy. But I mean, there are guys who are tall, dark, and handsome, who have dark skin and light eyes. He is, I mean, he's like a sex icon. I know.

Hey, Zach. I know. I mean, what do you want from me? A bunch of people tweeted it. She paneled seven girls. The majority said it does. What was the number? Out of seven.

Seven out of seven. He agrees. She agrees. All of them agree. Everyone on Twitter agrees. I'm sorry. I also have a friend that texted me and said, Kevin's crazy. I got a lot more.

Start doing more polling, Zach. The pictures that you sent in the group chat were the ones that looked most like him. He's doing a terrible job about this. I can find other Armie Hammer pictures where he looks way better than me. You were sending the ones where he just looks like a white dad. I honestly don't remember which pictures I sent.

They were the ones that I'm like, I could probably look like that right now if I really put some work into it. I mean, that's crazy. Alright, I'm like a skinny white dude. Like, what do I look like? Timothee Chalamet? Like, that's just not... Well, you know, you're kind of on the right track, though. Yeah, it's like he's a fucking... I mean, if I look like Timothee... Alright, I'll say... If you say I look like Timothee Chalamet like that just not you know you're kind of on the right track though yeah it's like he's a fucking i mean he's all right i'll say if you say i look like timothy chalamet then i will say you look like army hammer you look like timothy chalamet let's go baby there we go we're pumping

each other out here i mean now there's a little bit because the only thing because all it's a little bit weird now to call me by your name but that's a little all white guys do typically look alike ish it just comes down to hair so if you had the longer and shallower hair if you have hair we have the same hair and we have the same color eyes like we're gonna be white guys who look alike you're just you're just confused right now because you think that guy's super fucking hot and you don't think i'm hot but now you're like wait a minute maybe i do that's what's going on here, Zach. I know where you're at. I know where you're at. It's a weird one.

I mean, no, okay. No. First of all, absolutely not. This is like when YP found out that his sister looks exactly like his favorite porn star. Remember that? He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to do.

He was like, fuck. That was, there were a lot of whispers in the office that day, like, hey, just so we're clear, that's stunning. Lana Rose. Stunning revelation. She walked in and people were like, what is happening? Yeah, I mean, again, it's not my take. It's just the internet.

But do you think you look like Armie Hammer? I think in the general sense of the word, yes. So again. No, yeah, listen, that's the beauty of this, Zach. Other people say it for me. I don't have to say it. No, but like do you send me like you sent me like 17 tweets this weekend well 17 people tweeted it i this is my solemn promise to you anyone on the internet who tweets that i look like army hammer i will retweet it and send it to you hi do you know how low of an

opinion i hold of myself zach of course i don't think i look like army hammer no no that's i'm gonna be the last person on earth that thinks I look like Armie Hammer. It's other people that might think, that don't have a fucking horrific viewpoint of me that might think that. Kevin, this is what I was saying. I tweeted this. I've always followed you guys because I feel like you're pretty

average guys. I feel like you also have very low opinions of yourself. And yet you're tweeting me pictures of a literal sex icon. Other people are saying it! Wait, when did he become sex- was the sex icon status, was that with the cannibalism? Maybe it's just because- I mean, maybe it's just because- I never called Armie Hammer the sex con two weeks ago.

I mean, maybe it's just because I'm very attracted to Armie Hammer. That's what's going on here! But that's different! But that's different! But also, no, I feel like that he- All I'm doing is retweeting other tweets of people. Retweet does not equal endorsement. That's different. But that's different. But also, no, I feel like that he – All I'm doing is retweeting other tweets of people. Retweet does not equal endorsement.

Maybe it's just – I mean, he has like the gay movie of all time being absolute – Every gay person loves Army. Well, loved, I'll put that in. Maybe the gays love me too. No, I mean – oh, right. That's the other thing if I was like a movie if I could put a little work into myself I'd probably look even more like him

Zach oh yeah if I also developed like a six pack well yeah that's all he's got on me he's just got the body on me I'd also be hot also don't eat people. I honestly... That might bring you down a bit.

Yeah, I was going to say. I would think right now I am a better catch than Armie Hammer. I mean... Think about it. Think about it. By the way, and that's not being cocky. The bar is extremely low. The man is a sociopathic cannibal.

I'm not saying anything too outlandish here. His family is estranged from him. They won't let him around his kids. He's a drug addict. He might be schizophrenic. I'm not saying anything too crazy outlandish here. You may have a better catch than Charles Manson. Yeah.

The silence was deafening when I was comparing myself to an actual soon-to-be outcast member of society. I was going to say, now I feel a little bad. I feel like the silence was a little too long. No, I'll tell you what. The whole thing's been offensive. Like, we were sending tweets back and forth in the group chat, and then Zach got like

Zach went, he was like, this is fucking ridiculous, and anyone who thinks this is mentally ill I was like, well okay. You do, you have a literal mental, you have a mental deficiency. Yeah, mental deficiency. I was like, again, I'm not agreeing with this, but boy, for people who do, this is a bit of a harsh take.

That's when I said like, let's hold off. I was like, I'm not even kidding, the first time I saw these I was getting actually angry. Yeah. I was like, this is ridiculous. Who do you think, I mean, actually angry. Yeah. I was like, this is ridiculous. I would be. Who do you think? I mean, Armie Hammer is still getting more like girls sliding in his DMs.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. No doubt. But he's a cannibal. It's what we're talking about. Well, right. But I'm just saying that, you know, like for a normal, well-adjusted person, I would probably be a better relationship than him.

Yeah, because he eats people, Kevin. Again, that's why I'm not saying anything too outlandish. But that's... Whatever. I'm going to take that as a no. I'm going to say, that first trip into the Thunderdome, not going great. But we're talking about looks here.

Kevin's like the college therapist. He's like, guess what? You're doing good, babe. Tell me something good that happened this week. Well, I dismembered Jack. You're moving. You're just moving. I'm not. Again, the goalpost started when other people

compared his looks to me. Yes, and then immediately you took this on as like, I look like Armie. Yes, of course. So there you go. You just said it. You think you look like Armie Hammer. Listen, again, I am very happy that people think I look like army hammer that's what i am do i think it no i think i look like disgusting i think i'm the worst thing to ever happen but that's because of my mental deficiency so when other people say it you know i listen i've just seen more people saying

that than the opposite i just haven't seen anybody being like, you know what? He really doesn't. I mean, no one's gonna Oh yeah, no one's ever gonna be mean to me on the internet, Zach. No one's ever gonna say things about my looks on the internet, Zach. That's fair. Get out of here! Get out of here! No one's ever gonna say anything mean. Kevin's number one lookalike before

this was Tom Brady's retarded brother. Retarded brother! Yeah. Usually doesn't go that well for me, Zach. Let me have my one moment this was Tom Brady's retarded brother. Retarded brother. Yeah. I'm done with it. This usually doesn't go that well for me, Zach. Let me have my one moment in the sun. I'm no longer working with this show.

All right. We're going to do top fives today, which come from a, which are inspired by a very funny story. One that I don't think anybody saw coming. Top five today is brought to you by HelloFresh. Now, woo mama. HelloFresh. Now, woo! Mama! HelloFresh is... Can I tell you what happened for dinner tonight real quick? Always.

Like, my highlight of the week is John telling me what's on the HelloFresh menu. Okay, so tonight, I'm gonna pull up my full menu, but tonight I already know what I'm having. Sorry, just had to pop up there. Tonight, I know I'm having duck larange. What? Duck? Yeah. Woo! And I've had it before from HelloFresh, and it's fucking fire.

See, people don't think about that. I think, you know, you think when you're getting these, uh, these, like, things sent to your house that you're just gonna get, like, grilled chicken and rice. You're not thinking that you're gonna get duck. You're not thinking you're gonna get, like, exotic food from all over the world. That's what HelloFresh is doing. Duck larange with duck fat mashed potatoes and arugula almond salad. That's what I'm having tonight.

I mean, I'll tell you this right now. That would be the best meal I've ever had. And honestly, because they make it so easy, it's fucking so easy. Yeah. Like, because. Hello, Fresh. There's your new tag. That's like Ted Lasso.

I haven't seen it yet. Unbelievable show. I know. I saw you guys praising it. But he has a great line. He says this once. He's like, now the only way to do it well is to do it well. But anyway, tomorrow night, I'm going to have chicken ramen in a shoyu-style broth.

Now, I will say this. The ramen is harder to make than you think. You got a lot of sauces and stuff to make. It takes about 45 minutes, a little bit longer, but I've made it before, and it's my favorite ramen I've ever had. And then, Wednesday night, fucking inauguration night, hit in the bavette steak with roasted garlic, bavette steak and roasted garlic, Bavette steak and roasted garlic pan sauce with mashed potatoes

and asparagus. That's what's on the menu at the Feidelberg household this week. Damn. Yeah. And it's, I cannot stress enough how we, I cannot stress enough, one, that I fucking pay to advertise for this company. Do. I cannot stress enough that you say that every week and they still just won't hook you up. I know, I'm trying,

Kevin. We're're laying on pretty thick let me get a free week please the best is John can't even use the promo code he already used it once so he's paying full price every week the promo code right now is so much better than it was I used it I had like a free

one free meal I had one free week right now with 10 Kfc it's 10 free meals guess what the meals are in double portions so you have 20 free meals you're eating for free for like a month like you're eating dinner for free for like a month hello it's it's hellofresh.com slash 10 kfc and use code 10 kfc at checkout 10 free meals which are double portion that's 20 meals if you're living alone alone, that's at least two weeks of eating. It's crazy.

It's insane. It's insane how good it is. And it's like quality food. And, I mean, you guys know how dumb John is. And you can follow the instructions, look at the recipe card, and make it well. It is very quality food. In fact, when I went home for hard lockdown, I just had it all shipped to my house instead of New York and my mom was like

shocked she started doing it right that's a good test too I remember at one point thinking like this is great for like the single guy who lives on his own and it's like you know and then you start eating and you're like I think this would be good for like a family this is good for like you know moms who cook every night and like no recipes and shit and they're like no this is good

and it makes it so much easier quality meat like, you know, moms who cook every night and, like, know recipes and shit. And they're like, no, this is good. She was like, oh, these are good sauces. Oh, these are good, like, vinegars. Good accessories. She was, like, checking all the fucking where everything comes from. She's like, yeah, this is all, like, really good stuff. And it's fucking – I've never cooked it for someone who was like, this isn't amazing. Not like someone who, like, didn't like it. Right.

Someone who, like, was like, holy shit. Like, oh, my God. This is incredible. And then, basically, everyone I cook it for goes and gets it themselves. HelloFresh.com slash 10KFC and use code 10KFC. Get those 10 free meals, including free shipping. And it's America's number one meal kit, and you can get it today right now. Once again, it's Hellofresh.com slash 10KFC, code 10KFC for 10 free meals.

Okay. So today's top 10. Top five. Comes to you courtesy's top 10. Top 5. Comes to you courtesy of the Backstreet Boys. Brian from the Backstreet Boys. Jackie, who's the hottest Backstreet Boy? Do you even know who the Backstreet Boys are?

Jackie doesn't even know who the Backstreet Boys are. Do you know their songs? Who was your first boy band? One Direction. Oh my god! Yeah, One Direction. Oh my God. Yeah, One Direction. What about the Jonas Brothers?

Wait, One Direction was like 10 years ago. You weren't like into boy bands in like elementary school? She was in elementary school 10 years ago, dude. You were in elementary school 10 years ago? She was like 12. You were like 21? I don't know. This is a lot of math. I don't know.

How old are you right now? 21. Yeah, she was 11. Yeah, 10. Yeah. I feel like I was into boy bands like before, like third grade. How old was I in third grade? Like six, seven? Third, you're like eight. So yeah, I mean like she was 11. Yeah, 10. Yeah. I feel like I was into boy bands, like, before, like, third grade. How old was I in third grade? Like, six, seven?

Third, you're, like, eight. So, yeah. I mean, like, she was probably. But I would have been six or seven. I'm fucking smart. You got him. You got him, Josh. Because I was fucking skipping grades, bitch.

She was probably like in fifth grade. It just didn't make me do kindergarten again. It was like. Not making you repeat is a badge of honor. It was preschool. And like it was a preschool. Like everyone had to repeat. Yeah.

Like he can just go. He's good. So I skipped the second time of doing blocks for an hour. God. One Direction is so recent. So you don't. I was on the blackout tour. You don't know I want it that way?

No. Well, I know that. Oh, okay. Yeah. But I just, I can't like pick them out of a crowd. Or I can't. Yeah. Well, they are an interesting one. Do you know what I was about the Blackout Tour. You don't know I want it that way? Well, I know that. Oh, okay, yeah. But I just, I can't, like, pick them out of a crowd. Or I can't. Yeah. Well, they are an interesting one.

Do you know what I was about to say there? I was on the Blackout Tour when One Direction started. You were doing drugs and having sex with strangers. And she was, like, just being introduced to the world of music. That was, like, the first music she ever heard that wasn't, like, her parents' CD. I vividly remember being in the back of the chevy silverado with like the avalanche right the avalanche i'm sorry yes the avalanche and uh we had like one of those like wi-fi hot spots and i was just in the back of my laptop bump banging out so that's what makes you

beautiful i was like yo have you guys heard this new boy band like and that's what makes him beautiful why do you lie in my life like they they became bigger than that. I remember thinking, like, ah, this is just, like, a new, like, cobbled-together boy band. But then Harry Styles kind of, he's, you know, like the Timberlake of that group. Yeah. They're legit. But that's the thing about Backstreet Boys is there's not really one standout.

It was, like, kind of Nick Carter for a minute. Yeah, it was Nick. But then, but not really. You know, like, he never did. He never, like, had a solo album that he cared about. And then the back end, they are, they are. He did have a solo album. I remember I had it because his name was Nick,

so I was naturally like... Of course. Gotta support the Knicks meeting. Yeah, trash. The thing about Backstreet Boys is they are very bottom heavy. Like, they got a bunch of bums. No, but I think all their bums are cool. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, I think it's like AJ. They're like cool guys. Well, AJ used to party. AJ was cool. I think Chris Kirkpatrick. No, he's a... That's insane. What's his name? Kevin.

Howie. There's Kevin. Howie. Kevin is like the tall... Howie. Howie, I think he was like the dad. He was the old dude. I think Howie's like a cool dude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Brian, who I guess was kind of i don't know nick was the pretty boy but then i think brian was like number two apparently brian is heavy into q anon to the point that it has like fractured the backstreet boys which i would say by the way you just cut him out the backstreet boys now has four members and we cut out the q anon lunatic and we can, the show must go on. They're selling out fucking stadiums with new kids on the block. Are they still doing that?

I mean, they were before the pandemic. Really? Wow, that's been going on for a long time. They did Fenway two years ago. They've been doing that for years. NKOTBSB was a fucking... They had that one song about don't turn out the lights or something with the lights. That's fucking heat. Dude, the fucking... That's fucking heat. Dude, the fucking.

That's not on Spotify, by the way. The first New Kids on the Block song that came back right after with Artemis from Sonny. What? Yeah. I don't think I noticed. Wait, we're going to pause the show real quick. Nick, can you just play that music video? Because this thing is fire.

Like, I'm dead serious. We're going to watch the whole thing. It's fire. With Artemis? Yeah. Dude, good for fucking New Kids on the Block. It's fire. With Artemis? Yeah. Dude, good for fucking New Kids on the Block. It's a fire song, right? Yeah.

But it's the right kind of song. They didn't try to keep up totally with New Age pop. You know what I mean? It fits right. But yeah, if you were the other three members, you're not in it. They could just cycle in through the guys. People wouldn't even notice. It's just Joey McIntyre, I think, and Donnie Wahlberg.

That's it. Donnie Wahlberg's got big money, dude. He's got long money. Really? Yeah. Because I think, and Donnie Wahlberg. That's it. Donnie Wahlberg's got big money, dude. He's got long money. Really? Yeah, because I think he produces a lot of shit, and he's on Blue Bloods, so he does it all. I think he's got tens of millions of dollars. I think he's got like $50 million or something crazy like that. I didn't know that.

Yeah, he's big, big money. My Caitlin's brother is his driver. He just drives him around from set to set on Blue Bloods. But usually a lot of people are kind of bougie and fancy. They like to be driven around, and he drives around in a van. He just drives him around from set to set on Blue Bloods. But usually a lot of people are kind of bougie and fancy. They like to be driven around, and he drives around in a van. He just hangs out. I like that. Yeah, he's like a normal guy.

He's just like, yeah, I happen. Which is even funnier because I think boy band guys is a little bit floofy. You know what I mean? And he's just like a regular-ass cat. He's from Dorchester. Right, that's what I mean. It's hard. I would guess Mark Wahlberg as

strange as he is with his schedules and all that stuff, I would guess he's a pretty fucking regular guy. That's what I mean. It takes a lot to beat that out of you. Like a Dorchester upbringing. He beat everybody else out of him. But I could see him being

kind of almost hard but being like, I don't being like kind of almost like you know hard but being like yeah i don't know like bitches love when i sing so i just you know i just do like this dance pop music you know uh all right so the backstreet boys fractured apart because brian is a q anon conspiracy truther lunatic so as it as the i imagine most q anon lunacy started uh he was a trump guy in 2017 tmz asked him um if he'd be a good president and brian said i have faith in the system i have faith in his character his beliefs and his balls let's put it that way could just said yes um but the uh also like those are the three things that you know i would not say but okay go off uh he also said

hollywood's to chill out we're talking about the commander-in-chief we're talking about respect brian told tmz that they asked him to ask him personally to ask the other backstreet boys to perform at trump's inauguration didn't work out brian said he wanted to do it fast forward to two days after the capitol riots um in case you didn't know or somehow don't have an aunt who has been completely indoctrinated by the blurry Facebook memes, QAnon is a group of people that believe in a conspiracy theory surrounding a supposed government insider named Q. Then there's Parler. Parler is a social media network that is largely conservatives and right-wing extremists. People who believe in QAnon. Nick, didn't you tell me we were on Parler for a minute?

No. My mom is – she does like workout groups and shit like that. And they were like, we're switching over to Parler. And that was Monday right before everything went down. We should get off of that. So I was like, you should delete that app right now. And most people who believe in QAnon can be found on Parler, which brings us back to Brian. Two days after the Capitol riots, Brian tweeted, follow me on Parler.

Be Latrell, come find me. It's like, where's Waldo? Isn't it crazy how people like, I think it's fascinating. I think we're going to, this is what kind of sucks for the people. Like Donald Trump will eventually just, he's not yet, but he'll just move on eventually. Someone will be like, okay, you can make more money over here. he's just gonna go like okay like done whatever i don't care anymore i disagree with that because i think this will always be where he can make the most money pro yeah probably so so yeah in that sense he maybe might stick around i'm just saying i don't

think he believes as deeply as the people who he brainwashed you know so if he's if he's doing although i think he's actually kind of gone so crazy now where he is in it. It's just a power. It is like people are saying in the White House that he's going around just praising Marjorie, whatever her name is. Who's that?

The Georgia Congresswoman. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who just got kicked off Twitter. Right, right, right. Marjorie is something who like, she's like an out, it's not like she's like a silent QAnon, but she's an out, like we believe in Q.

Misinformation on Twitter is down 73 since he got banned really i don't know how they measure that shit but that's a huge but they also kicked off a shitload of other people right so it's not just but you know it's probably all part of the purge but the people who have been like brainwashed and indoctrinated, they can't stop. I mean, it's like, not to use it as an excuse for them, but I'm just fascinated. It's like, what happens in your brain where these people, you know, this guy is willing to fucking risk a great gig to be like. It's true brainwashing, too. The current theory of QAnon is that on January 20th, the person you will be seeing taking their oath of office will actually be Donald Trump. But him and Biden are currently participating in a face swap. Face off.

Nick Cage, John Travolta, Trump Biden. Oh, wait, wait. I thought. So it's not like on TV. Like they're doing the face off. No, they're taking the face off. They're doing this. Yes. True face.

And they're doing an actual face swap. Um, and then Trump's, uh, impeachment hearings in the Senate will actually be clandestine meetings, trying Biden for his crimes, his crimes of child trafficking or whatever it is. And then the stuttering you will hear from Biden because he has a stutter,

uh, is actually Trump just trying to learn his speech patterns. That's what. And they believe it. And that's what the current operating theory is. That's like fun, like fan fiction, like political fan fiction. If you wrote a science fiction short story about that, except they believe it's it's

real. And but anyway, so after a week after Brian joined Parler, which was last week, Kevin Richardson tweeted a link to an article about losing a friend to QAnon. His tweet is just, hmm, interesting read. I emoji, peace sign, love. And the article is titled, I lost the best friend to QAnon. And then AJ then tweeted a picture of him with a Biden and Harris mug. And then Howie tweeted just a picture that said, here's to sun your days ahead.

And Nick is just doing nothing. Nick's got like in a fight with Aaron Carter right now. They're doing a 1057 or whatever with his brother again. And then people are going back to a 2005 documentary on the Backstreet Boys where everyone is screaming at Nick. Don't be a fucking dick like everyone knows you are. And I know you understand what I'm saying. It's just like one of his political beliefs. Do you think that...

And then also, sorry, one more time. Also, Brian Littrell's wife is pushing on her Instagram, on her Twitter account, that the Capitol building was, there's all Antifa dressed as Trump supporters. Oh, so she's in on it. She's down with her husband. Someone tweeted, I am so ashamed.

She tweeted, so Kevin Sorbo Kevin Sorbo tweeted, Antifa led the charge into the Capitol building dressed as Trump supporters. She quote tweeted and said that is correct. He would have been a great choice for this. Yeah, I know. But I didn't put him because I knew that I had already seen this tweet. So I'm not cheating. And then someone else said, I'm so ashamed of America.

I hate it here. Leanne Luttrell replied, I do too with the riots by Antifa, BLM, and now this in the Capitol. The people in the Capitol are not the peaceful people protesting outside. It's major censuses by America. But major censuses by the media blocking Antifa or hiding Antifa. It's just plain P-L-A-N-E, which you don't see often. It's just plain sad. Plain sad.

I'm just picturing a jet with a frowny face. Plain sad. Oh, that's so dumb. Oh, man. If you would like, can you imagine? Wait, do you think that the people who believe in all this shit are just dumb assholes? Or do you think that maybe there's like some people who are like predisposed to this that are like, like, I'm able to brain. If somebody wanted to do this, like you would be able to be brainwashed more than I am or vice versa.

That like some that is not again, not to like that is not their fault. That it's almost like some part of the population can be brainwashed and some people can't. Or it's just like, I'm a dumb asshole. But who believes? I think it's I think it's probably mostly a dumb asshole yeah um because it's easy to believe in conspiracy theories when you just don't know facts like like it's it's that but that but that there's some almost like suspension of disbelief or whatever you want to call it where you're just like i think i'm gonna go against all logic and believe this

that's kind of fucking stupid but it is like like i mean like like the 5g thing like there's plenty people who believe that like it's just you know what's a great one that i just kind of learned about the routers in our house have been 5g forever like yeah years and years just like that now they're able to broadcast now and if you're like like bro you it's been in your house for fucking 10 years what are you talking about that now we have to maybe that's why everyone's in it yeah maybe it's been boiling in for 10 years this is not like a conspiracy theory thing as much as it's like an urban legend have you ever heard the the urban legend about your pinky and the carrot no so i just heard this yesterday for the first time and it kind of and then i watched a youtube like dispelling it

because it's like the perfect improvable unprovable thing so the rumor is that you can bite your pinky off you can bite through your pinky with the same force it takes to bite through a baby carrot but it's like you would never you're never gonna you know there's no we're never gonna do it right right so but you're like well i don't know that hurts a lot of like could i get all the way through it and i'm like i know but there are people who like kind of believe it and then like this this whole youtube video was like it became a pretty widespread childhood playground type of like rumor because like you can't prove it true or not true. Which is like that's always the perfect essence of a lot of these conspiracy theories where it's like, well, it doesn't make sense.

But also you can't tell me it does make you know what I mean? So I feel like anybody who believes these things is like you're an idiot idiot who might bite through your own fucking pinky you'd be chewing off your pinky that's gonna hurt if you bite on your pinky yeah it fucking hurts really bad i don't know if you bite it off but can you imagine like being like bad like it's always one of those things like uh you know social experiments would be like can you imagine going back 20 years and being like hey this guy who has a fucking hole in his heart um he like in 20 years, he's going to be run. He's going to think that the president is getting his face changed with the president elect so they can try them for kiddie porn trials secretly put on TV. You know what?

And you know what sucks, too, is like all it takes is one is like Jeffrey Epstein. It's like and then it's like, see, well, that sounded so far fetched, too. Right. And it's like, well, I mean, yeah i mean yeah listen i mean but that one was true but also like that one i feel like almost gets i think it gets played up too big because who's the big person like who's like the the they say the head of the snake is is uh leslie wexner who's like he he he owns victoria's secret and a bunch of like consumer he's like a big-time billionaire okay but like he, I think billionaire is different than celebrity. Cause at first that was put out as like,

it was all celebrities. Yeah. No. Like, well, why have we heard of anyone else? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was just, it's mostly like politicians really, or like heads of state really like the celebrities that I hear of are like Clinton and Prince Andrew. Right.

It's not like Justin Timberlake. It's not like a singer or an actor. Yeah. They were like, Oh, it's like tons of celebrities. And maybe, maybe with Ghislaine Maxwell. I think it's also that they were always at parties and they were seen with.

But it's like that's a different thing. I remember when they were like, look at the celebrities Ghislaine Maxwell was with. It's like her and Reese Witherspoon at the Oscars. Right. That's not with Ghislaine Maxwell. They're both at the Oscars. Yeah, that shit's stupid. But all it takes is one story that's true or that one Bohemian Grove, which was true.

So, like, I saw a – Nick and Brendan showed me. They have the pyramid, the conspiracy theory pyramid, which is, like, the levels to conspiracy theories. And so, like, down at the bottom are – these are grounded in reality and then all the way at the top or detached from reality so like q anon's at the top um the illuminati flat earth pizza gate reptilian overlords all that shit and that's like beyond the point of no return and then the step downs like anti-vaxxers and then a step down from that is you know bigfoot then he keeps going but then grounded in reality is like mk ultra was that that's where they it was like the cia did like brain they like would do tests on people and like like um ted kaczynski

was oh okay okay so like that's been proven true so now it's grounded in reality but there was a time where that was at the top of the pyramid of people being like, oh, yeah, the CIA is brainwashing kids in the streets. So, you know, big tobacco lied about cancer. Yeah, we proved that true. But there was a time where people like we fucking talking about, you know, so that's where these things are like, well, but to think that, you know, Biden and Trump are swapping faces. We've probably left reality here. So we're going to do top five uh celebrities people in the new public figures that we think could potentially be q anon we might need to like check with our lawyers all right top five celebrities we think are in q anon let's go you want me to go first i'll go first okay do you uh let's start with like our first draft

pick is each like someone we think might actually like a reasonable actual pick okay it wasn't gonna be mine but okay no all right fine then we'll just we'll just dive right in jessica simpson jessica simpson's a q and i it's a good question jessica simpson sits around all day sipping on some like martinis and wine and just deep dives down a rabbit hole, and she doesn't know what's up and what's down. She doesn't know. I mean, she didn't know what chicken or tuna was, and now she's going to tell you. She's going to lecture you on the fucking ins and outs of the American government. A southern woman who doesn't know what chicken or tuna fish is, comes from that Baptist preacher father.

Really the exact thing you'd target to groom. The grooming had started back then. And has the platform, you know what I mean? She's QAnon-ing, let's recruit her, get her in there, and she'll be the one talking about, and all with a good heart, all bless her heart, all with her like, we got to save the babies, y'all. These people are eating babies. We got to stop it. And Hillary Clinton a good heart. All bless her heart. You know, all with her like, we got to save the babies, y'all. You know, these people are eating babies.

We got to stop it. And Hillary Clinton's doing it, you know. She is in QAnon. It's a great pick. It's a great pick. My first pick is Helga Pataki. Yeah, you were not going for real life at all. I mean, Helga Pataki would swarm the fuck out of the Capitol in a heartbeat.

Like, just a bully bitch who fucking... She's from the streets of New York. I don't know why she's a Southern accent, but everyone does. She's an asshole in my mind. And she's just fucking... I mean, she's just like a bully who refuses to have things not go her way give or not

yeah like she's just digging in does not give in she's got a fucking gum statue of Biden in her bedroom she's trying to kill him with voodoo and fucking what are those things called?

voodoo dolls she's with voodoo and fucking... What are those things called? What are the dolls? Voodoo dolls? Voodoo dolls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Prick them. She's got voodoo gum doll Biden. She's just trying to fucking... Helga.

Helga Mage. I had Helga on my Nickelodeon team. I would have Helga... I think I had Helga be my head coach. That would make sense. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking bully ball.

Most head coaches probably include... Bill Belichick. I'm going to... I don't know why. When you brought this idea up, this is the first thing that popped into my mind. Meatloaf. Meatloaf. Meatloaf. A good one.

That's a great. And I would do anything for Q. Yeah. The first thing that popped into my head was just like this. Fat, greasy meatloaf and just sitting at home mad. Kind of had his time in the sun when you know i don't know i could see him being like yeah we gotta make it make it great again you know like bring it back to back to the 80s and 90s yeah meatloaf uh kevin federline yeah great pick great pick kevin federline who just

kevin federline has never done anything normal on the internet. He's always in the deep, dark shit. That's a great one. Kevin Federline, a dude who just wears beaters and fucking slide-ons with socks and long Jordan Athletic shorts. As dumb as can be, but now he's going to tell you about the deep state and how the dark web works. Coke's out of his mind. I don't even know if he's ever had a coke problem or a coke accusation, but he's... Listen, for all we know, Kevin Fehrlein could be a wonderful guy.

You know, honestly, think about that. This is just a reminder to celebrities and cartoons to think about how you present yourself to the world. This is just a PR meeting, really. I know nothing about any of you. This is just a PR meeting for you guys to maybe think twice about the image you're putting out there. Although I will say this.

Could you imagine if you were Britney Spears' ex and, like, you were dragged through the mud? And now, like, it comes down to how fucking crazy she is. And you're like, yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I'm a little bit white trash. I'm a little bit Fort Lauderdale, okay? But, like, you guys all said I was, like, the asshole. I'm like, well, look now.

I was the normal one. He's probably a great guy. She was always farting on me. Yeah, exactly. Why would I wear nice guy. She was always farting on me. Yeah, exactly. Why would I wear nice clothes if she's always farting on me? And then who's the other guy who's Kevin Federline? He's just Kevin Federline. He's a rapper.

TikTok, Rick Rock, what's his name? Fucking. Oh. Riff Raff. Riff Raff. Riff Raff. To me, that's one and the same. Yeah.

You put those two guys in a lineup. I can't tell you who's who. I was thinking about TV dads. And Craig T. Nelson came to my mind. Craig T. Nelson? Coach. I thought you were going to say Tim Allen because that would have been a good one too. That one's probably almost a little too nail in the head.

A little on the nose. Yeah. That would be a good pick of like, this is my actual pick. I think Craig T. Nelson he's got that, I think he played a guy on TV once who was like, he was in, no I'm thinking of Major Dad. Major Dad was in Frank Underwood, House of Cards. And he played like a government guy.

But yeah, I don't know. Coach is doing it for me. Okay. I'm going to stick with you then. I'll stick with TV dads. This wasn't on my initial list. Harry Morgan. Whatever his name is.

Who's that? Dexter's dad. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know what his real name is, but I think I'm going to put Harry Morgan on there. I mean, he groomed his son to fight the establishment. Don't worry. You can kill people.

It's fine. As long as your heart's in the right lower. You can kill people. It's fine. As long as your heart's in the right place, you know what's going on. You are saving everybody. Fucking lunatic. Did I see some whispers that maybe they're doing

something with Dexter? Yeah, there is a reboot. Right. One more final season. One of the very few shows I condone it. Like, go try it again. Yeah, right.

Do it again. What's stopping it? What's the worst that could happen? You have another lumberjack situation and it's like, okay, well, you fucked it up again. And it's also one of the only shows where everyone, Thrones is pretty similar, I think, now that we're getting a little distance and everyone's like, yeah, no, that was terrible. I've never heard one person say they liked the lumberjack ending. And, I mean, on the show.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It sucked. It was a botched job. Big time. I mean, God, how do those things happen? How are you so brilliant for so long?

Actually, they really had like two good seasons out of like, I think like seven or eight. Yeah. But they had two really, their peaks, they had high highs. Season one, Ice Truck Killer and Trinity Killer are two of the greatest seasons of TV ever. I redid season one fairly recently. It doesn't hold up as well as you thought. Season one? Yeah.

Really? Yeah. I mean, it's not terrible. I do remember, I think the brother twist. Was it weird? Spoiler alert. I don't think it was predictable, though. I don't think people were predicting that then, were they?

No, I don't think so. Yeah. I mean, at the time. I don't know if I even watched Extra Lives. I think we've watched so many good TV shows since then that maybe my standards have changed. But I think I remember being like, whoa. It's not bad

but it's just there's just so many things where you're like well that wouldn't happen yeah yeah you would just like I mean he a lot of luck involved in Dexter where he always gets even just like there's one I think it's like the second person he kills or something like that like he kills him in an abandoned warehouse the person just keeps following pictures of themselves until they're just like in

like in his kill room yeah it's like well I would just be like this is creepy I'm getting the fuck out of here I also always thought it his kill room. Yeah, it's like a wild idea. Well, I would just be like, this is creepy. I'm getting the fuck out of here. Right. I also always thought it was so stupid, but I guess it's like his flaw that like the most meticulous guy ever

would also save all the fucking slides. Yeah. Which is like ultimately his downfall, right? Doesn't Doakes find those like late in the year? I don't remember. That bad Oklahoma

Fuck, my brain. This is not working. The Olympic bombing thing that I watched on Netflix has Deb's boyfriend in it. The guy who's like – Like he's got – he's like a tough New York guy kind of. I've never seen that guy in anything else. I've seen him in something else, and it's the same fucking guy. I mean that guy I don't think is an actor.

I think he got like – you hear those stories like, yeah, I was like a PA on set, and think is an actor. I think he got like, you know, like, you hear those stories like, yeah, I was like a PA on set and they like had me act. I think he's one of those dudes. He's never been in anything. And dokes, what's up, motherfucker? That guy does nothing.

Oh, I love dokes. He doesn't do anything, right? I love dokes. Has he been in anything else? I think there was one other thing that he definitely popped up in because I remember going, dokes, motherfucker!

But that was it. That show, I mean, the lumberjack was just, all right my my pick um i'm gonna go with i'm gonna go with tom selick tom selick i. Oh boy. I don't know if I like that one. Yeah. Tom Selleck primarily because I was going to go with Burt Reynolds,

but he's dead. And I think it's Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds as one in the same. I, I, I think Tom Selleck might be one of those guys like these other people. I could all see like falling down a rabbit hole on the internet. I don't think he's one of those guys, but I feel like he would believe in like the, would believe in the tenets of it he would believe

in what's going on he's shooter desmond harrington is the bad guy in shooter season one dokes yeah um i remember that name being like no it's not oh oh the other guy yeah um tom selig i refuse to believe tom selig well i, it's not real. So good thing. But push back on that one. I think Tom Selleck was a hell of a guy. Yeah? Yeah.

I mean, I don't know anything about Tom Selleck. Neither do I. Yeah, okay. He's always got a nice mustache. Okay. This is my fourth? Yeah. Okay. No, wait.

Yeah, I don't know. I think I'm on my last pick after. Yeah. Yeah, so yeah. JC Chazet. Keep it with the boy band. I'm taking it back. I'm changing it. I'm changing it. I'm changing it. Yeah. So, yeah. JC Chazet. Keep it with the boy band. I'm taking it back. I'm changing it.

I'm changing it. I'm changing it. Chris O'Donnell. Ooh. Robin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You know why? Because he's a fucking pussy. Conspiracy theory is the only way to prove why his career didn't take off. What? What? Chris O'Donnell was the it boy? Chris O'Donnell was a handsome guy. He played Robin in like an abortion of a Batman.

Right. That was it. But that wasn't supposed to be an abortion of a Batman. It was supposed to be him and Clooney. He's supposed to be a handsome guy. He played Robin in like an abortion of a Batman. Right. That was it. But he was, but that, that wasn't supposed to be an abortion of a Batman. It was supposed to be him and Clooney. Like he's supposed to be a good guy. Yeah, but that's, that's. And also like his career, by the way, is probably as good as anyone's career. Oh.

Well, I mean, not like talent wise. I mean, money wise. He's been on NCIS for like a hundred years. Oh, okay. But that doesn't count. No, no. But that's why he, by the way, he. He didn't become the movie star.

Like, like Clooney was able to push through Batman forever. Returns? Forever. Returns. Nope, forever. Batman and Robin. Batman and Robin? It's even worse. Makes sense.

But yeah, everyone else that was like, that sucked. Anything that was attached to that, you ain't getting. No, but everyone else in it is a star. It's fucking Schwarzenegger. They were powerful enough to get through it. Like, those guys sit back, like, Clooney and Schwarzenegger sit back burning hundreds being like, ah, remember that fucking Batman that stunk and Chris O'Donnell's like, yeah, it ruined my life.

No, because he does that. I bet he makes more money than fucking... Who else was... Fuck Chris O'Donnell. And Poison Ivy was someone big, too. Yeah, Uma Thurman. Uma Thurman, Arnold, Alicia Silverstone, Uma Thurman, Arnold Schwarzenegger,

and George Clooney. You sign up for that movie. Yeah, you get the call for that and you're like, yo, I'm a killer. Yeah,

I don't have to do anything else for the rest of my life. So he has to be like, there's a conspiracy. He also seems like a little bitch like Kirk Cameron is. You know what I mean? Fuck Kirk Cameron.

Kirk Cameron's probably actually in QAnon. You know that guy from Scruggies? The guy who does fucking Christian movies and stuff like that? Yeah. Yeah. He's and stuff like that? Yeah.

Yeah. He's in QAnon. Yeah. Also, as we made fun of Jessica Simpson for being stupid, also, if you are a believer in Christ, it's probably easy to get you to believe in QAnon. That's so true. Are you religious? You in QAnon. Are you super-duper religious?

Then, yeah. You're going to believe in this face swap thing we got going on here. All right. My last one is a real one as well. Jon Voight. Ah! He was my real one too. You want that real one? I'll give you another real one.

Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson. How do the QAnons feel about the Jews? Yeah, well, that's going to be the linchpin on Mel Gibson. I would guess they're anti. I would imagine. Yeah. I would imagine.

I would have to guess, but. Anti-Semitmitic of course that's a funny line that's a funny line that needs to be like in a tv show are you anti-semitic yeah oh that'd be great don't cut that don't don't cut that uh john voight is not only like we know he believes you know in trump and all that side of everything but those like videos he's weird too you gotta there's got to be a wacky element to you to be a q anon guy those videos that he made recently remember those no he made like a couple videos probably like a year ago during during trump's presidency where they were like two two or three like one minute videos that would like cut off and you have to go to the next tweet and watch it i was like i don't

know why this isn't just one two minute video and he was like standing by a fire and kind of just fucking talking about like this is this is the time we need to like save uh donald trump it was like super super weird i used to be like driving around in john boyd's car to go kill Joe Biden. Like, he just made these, like, we know the truth videos. And it's just like, I like,

oh, oh, so it's like that was in the last year. It's like a month. Yeah, but there was one earlier too. Yeah, yeah,

this is, yeah, so he made one. So that's just officially QAnon. Yeah, yeah, right, right,

right. That's not even like, no, like, okay, my fifth is the QAnon shaman. People we know who are in it. Yeah, he made one on the ninth. Also, it's not fair to do that. See, that's what pisses me off about that dude.

He thinks his name rhymes. It doesn't rhyme, but you make me rhyme it and you make me sound dumb. John Boyt? No, the QAnon shaman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm upset you're like, John Boyt? No. Fuck that guy.

Yeah. Fuck that guy. I hate anybody on either side. Fuck that guy. Yeah. Fuck that guy. I hate anybody on either side that likes that much fucking attention. Fuck that guy. Also covered in Nazi tattoos. Yeah, that's not great. Can't do that. My last one, I am going to go Courtney Love.

Because of the... Just because she's crazy. Okay, yeah. Yeah. I was just thinking, I think she believes that Kurt Cobain was murdered. So I think she's got a healthy dose of conspiracy in her. But doesn't everyone think she was murdered by her? Oh, is that what it was?

Yeah. Oh, so she's definitely capable of QAnon. Okay. I didn't know that. She's like, no, I think he was killed. I was like, yeah, we agree. Bye, you. Yeah, yeah.

I thought that she was just like, no, it wasn't suicide. So they think she blew his head off? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I thought that she was just like, no, it wasn't suicide. So they think he – like she blew his head off? Yeah, there's a bunch of stuff with like his suicide note and stuff that lasts like three sentences. Like it's not a suicide note, then suddenly it is. Interesting. And it's a different handwriting. Yo, I'll tell you this though. I mean it takes a lot to blow somebody's head off with a shotgun.

You have to be committed to murdering someone. Yeah. Or I think maybe more likely it's like maybe it was an accident and then you're like all right i'll blow their head off and i think it'd be easier to blow the head off of a dead body well for sure so like i'm thinking like say me and you got in a fight if our head is screaming at me please don't kill me yeah a lot harder than a dead head right so say me and you get in a fight so let's she like hit hit fucking kurt cobain in the head with a frying pan and then he fell and hit his head and he died and then she's like fuck i gotta like make this look like a suicide and then your dead body's there i can blow your head off a dead body yeah yeah i'll give you my permission yeah if you accidentally

kill me go ahead take it off absolutely if i listen you can do whatever you want to my dead body for real i mean i would hope you have a good reason you know i don't want you to just like fuck around me for fun but if you need to use my dead body in a way to get out of a jam or to do whatever yeah stage something. I have a good reason. I have a great idea for a human puppet show. Yeah, I mean, technically, you know, Armie Hammer, go ahead and eat me, bro. Whatever.

I'm fucking dead. I don't give a shit. All right. So those are the top five QAnon. We're going to be careful with this graphic. Yeah. In honor of Brian Luttrell being QAnon, here's who wouldn't surprise us if they were. Here are ten people totally unconfirmed to be in QAnon who we think give off QAnon vibes.

How about that? You just give off QAnon vibes. You're not confirmed, just vibes. Just wouldn't be surprised is all I'm saying. In the words of our boy Rude Boy, just vibes. Just vibes. And tweet at us, the five people you think could be potentially probably maybe look like they're in q and i like kelly keegs blogging me too jamie lynn is this

the jaylen spears thing is wild jamie lynn spears says she can't stop killing her cats because her tesla is too quiet and she runs over them what so she went on tiktok let's see what she said somebody's gotta let elon elon must know that um the tesla is a secret cat killer and it's a problem that we've really got to fix we have now lost i don't even want to tell you how many cats because they don't hear the tes crank, and unfortunate things happen, and it's really devastating and tragic for everyone. That is, without a doubt, Jamie Lynn Spears murdering what I'm assuming has to be double-digit cats.

It has to be. You can't stop yourself. I don't even want to tell you how many cats I've killed. If I told you how many cat carcasses I hit the power walls off my driveway,

it would be... I am just picturing... I am picturing a bunch of people on the Jamie Lynn Spears farm being like, Ma, we got another one. Throwing dead cats over the fucking wall onto the highway.

I can picture her having a mental breakdown. Every time she feels a bump in the driveway. You're like, I did it again. Damn you, Elon Musk. What is your problem with cats, Elon? Why? Also, poor fucking cats. This is the only animal you can admit to killing multiple of.

Only living thing. If I went around and said I ripped three rose bushes out of the ground, you'd be like, you fucking monster. Jamie Lynn Spears is like, I don't even want to tell you how many cats I've murdered. That is some of the funniest wording

I've ever heard. We have had, I don't even want to tell you. I mean, you use that phrase, only when it's a staggering number. If someone was like, dude, i had so many beers i i don't even want to tell you how many beers and then they said like five you know it's like 30 i mean there is no way you use that you presume unless you've killed double digit cats

i was jamie lynn's fucking kid i would learn to walk ASAP. I mean, someone's got to tell you that must have. That thing is a silent cat killer. Like, open the windows or, I don't know, make some noise. Turn the music up. Just look where you're driving. How about that? I mean, I'll tell you what. If I was driving here and there was a cat laying down in front of the door,

I'd see it. I guess maybe back up over it. Yeah, I was going to say there's really no excuse. This is. Let me read a little bit more here. Kelly blocked this. She is intentionally running cats over and blaming Elon Musk. Yeah, right?

I mean. Jamie Lynn Spears goes bowling for cats in her driveway. So we know. Just sets them up. We know. Oh, no. Okay. Kelly goes, how many cats is it 1 2 15 we're not sure um yeah i mean this is this is a i would like to like someone needs to do some math and be like you know we've seen this many

cats on jamie lynn's estate before and now there's only two running around. I feel like I killed 11. You just really have to know. How many cats has Jamie Lynn spewed? I mean, okay, but true facts. Like, what's your guess? Gun to your head. How many cats has Jamie Lynn killed?

Seven. Seven or eight. Maybe 10. I don't even want to tell you how much do you love cats and also hate cats to continue buying new cats her last Instagram is her driving in a little car with a dog that dog i mean if you in heaven if you had a litter of cats you had a litter of cats and you slaughtered like six of them, I don't think you're going out and buying more.

You shouldn't. If you had one and you kill it, you go out and get another one, you kill that one. You can't just keep going one for one. How many cats has Jamie Lynn Spears killed? I have to know the answer. I'm going to put this already on the pedestal of one of my favorite stories of 2021.

This is one of my favorite stories ever. Forget about the Spears mysteries. Britney has been bumped to number two. How many cats has Jamie Lynn killed? Number one. I need fucking Sarah Koenig on the case. I need some true crime. Get the guys who did the jinx.

Send them out of fucking Mississippi or Louisiana or wherever the fuck she's from and get justice for these cats hashtag justice for Jamie Lynn's cats goodness it's a mouthful but don't worry it's worth it I don't even want to tell you how many holy shit okay we got sidetracked there what's your proclamation

well okay so first we're going to talk about Tom Brady in a second because we have to but we start next tomorrow the the whoop challenge tomorrow's uh tomorrow the uh the whoop challenge fuck we do tomorrow is the way in for the whoop challenge and my announcement about that is that i will be going dry for it oh okay i i will go dry with you in solidarity a little bit more of a sacrifice for john than me but that's okay i'm still gonna do it you're also going dry yeah you don't really drink that off that's what i I'm saying. It's not nearly the same thing.

But I'll do it. Yeah. It's about a month. This is our... It's going to be during the McGregor fight. It's going to be during the Super Bowl championship weekend. For Tom Brady. What?

Like, there's going to be a Tom Brady Super Bowl. Well... Now that we've gotten that out of the way. Okay, so we're going to... Yeah, there's a caveat. What? You can drink if that happens. No!

Well, we'll see. At that point, imagine if we were really winning the weight loss challenge. You'd be like, okay, we're good. I can drink a couple. So it is – it's not a no reason. This will be the longest I've gone without drinking in probably since I was 15, 16. Maybe a little after that. Let's call it 17.

But whatever. But on to Tom Brady. That was just a quick little something. Also, by the way, I'm going to get good and drunk tonight. Make it count, baby. I mean, Tom Brady is a no-doubter, you know, obviously. You know what? You go first.

No, no, no. I was just going to say it is, you know, I mean, I guess they didn't win by all that much. But, I mean, Drew Brees is just like Jesus Christ. It was sad to see it. That's a hard way to go out and not the most like, oh, my God, Tom Brady. You know what I mean? He beat, if he didn't win that game. You know what I'm saying?

So he's there and he'll probably go to Super Bowl and he'll probably win it and he'll probably earn it completely. I'm just not going to crown him because he beat the corpse of Drew Brees. No, but I mean, three touchdowns, pretty good. And the defense. That video of Tom Brady and Drew Brees talking while Drew Brees' daughter just beats the shit. She looks like a Marvel superhero. She's doing the cartwheels on top of him,

and then she's doing cannonballs on the poor kid. And then as Brady walks away, he says, hey, be nice to your sister. Toss me a ball. Yeah. He goes, hey, be nice to your sister. Like, bro, I'm not being mean. She just battered me.

I need fucking backup time. Yeah, God. Also, there was a dime he threw at Breeze's kid. And it was a very nice video. And I felt bad for Breeze, because I know he's had a fall from grace on social media. But I do think he is, like, a genuinely good person who wants to do good and like he made a wrong statement about the kneeling it was a little tone down in the moment he was so close to the

finish line yeah i mean i guess now in your retired days you're just as popular it's not like he's going to disappear forever so he's still got about 40 years of don't put your foot in your mouth but to be that close to your career oh yeah for sure mouth, but to be that close to the end of your career. Oh yeah, for sure. But I mean, to be that close and to just say like on a four year old fucking thing, you know, five year old saga.

But yeah. Yeah. I respect everyone. Everyone does. That's it. Pretty easy. But, but anyway,

I, I, there are some people who are like, yeah, I'm going to stand. And I also think they're a genuinely good person. And that's, yeah,

yeah, yeah. That's fine. But the, the Tom Brady stuff is, it's just bananas, Kevin. It is. think they're a genuinely good person and that's yeah yeah that's fine um but the uh the tom brady stuff is it's just bananas kevin it is he's had i mean i i thought we would get our answer when the two split up and then they both were stumbling and i was like maybe not maybe they're just both gonna stink and now it's just i mean i would say definitive definitively Brady's more important.

You make it to the NFC Championship, and the team that you lost a year ago kind of stunk. You take a non-playoff team to the NFC Championship. Your team stinks. It's not like, you know, period, stop, end of story. There's a lot of time left, but right now, Tom Brady's got a big fucking head start on who's more important. I don't think it—I am not trying to use it to disparage Bill Belichick. I think Bill Belichick's a genius.

I am. I will be. All that stuff. But the – but just like when you just look at Brady's sheer numbers, it is fucking – before that game even started last night, he was first in everything in the playoffs. Like just first across the board. He's just running up the score now.

He makes the conference championship at a higher rate than LeBron James hits free throws. He makes the conference championship 74% of the time. LeBron James hits a free throw 73.4% of the time. He makes the Super Bowl at a higher clip than Steph Curry hits threes. Wow. The greatest three-point shooter of all time. Tom Brady has a higher percentage of making the Super Bowl. I was more impressed 14-2 in the divisional round.

Yeah. That's a full season against playoff teams. Motherfuckers, 14-2. And also, one of those losses to the Jets. One of the Ravens, I believe. One of the Jets. But he is just... People keep moving the goalposts with him,

which is so frustrating. Like today, there's a debate on PFF. Who's this game more important to? Tom Brady or Aaron Rodgers? It's always more important to the other quarterback. Tom Brady has won seven Super Bowls, five Super Bowl MVPs, three, I believe, NFL MVPs. The motherfucker doesn't need any.

Oh, yeah. By the way, I fucking hate football fans who move the goalposts and just become fucking Tampa Bay Bucs fans. I didn't move the goalposts. Oh, you moved the goalposts. I just switched sides. And the goalposts stayed. I moved. I moved around goalposts. Go the other way now.

But you were like, we elect to defer. But my real point here, my thing thing here because this is my dream scenario and oh oh how i want this so badly bucks bills and the bills mafia who i love i think they're great i've often compared them to just like your kind of sad lonely uncle uncle who drinks a little bit too much. And then they're like, you got nothing going for you, but a real good time together. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bucks, Bills. Bills Mafia. A franchise and a fan base who have been so lucky. And they were like, finally, the beast is gone. We never have to deal with Tom Brady ever again. The AFC East is ours. To find him in the NFC. To hit him in the NFC East to hit him in the NFC.

You get to the Super Bowl and guess who's fucking standing there? That's so rude. Just to watch their fucking... We thought we were done with you! The Bills are exactly what you described. They're like your drunk uncle.

And now they've cleaned up their act, but you're like, you're going to relapse. We know this isn't going to last. And that would be meeting Tom Brady in the Super Bowl. I mean, you don't want to. So he runs through Aaron Rodgers, who I am now a huge fan of. And I will start to defend him from now on. But, you know, it's getting late early for Aaron Rodgers on his legacy.

Where it's like, how many more times are you not going to make the Super Bowl? So he runs through him, and that's another, you know, I get to beat Aaron Rodgers now and put that to rest. And then run through Mahomes. You don't want that? I don't care. I want the Bills. You know what that is?

That's mean. You're just being mean. It is mean, but it's just funny. Because if he beats Mahomes, it's like, well, you know, whatever for Mahomes. Like, he's already won one. He's already a Hall of Famer or whatever. And Tom Brady gets to say, like, you know, yeah, whatever, kid. Like, it's still my league.

You just want the spite. You just want, like. It's like you want vengeance over the Bills for no reason. I actually wouldn't even be mad if the Bucks lost that game. You just want to see their face. The lead up. You've got to be fucking kidding me. He's here again?

Like the fuck? And I would be. Oh, we thought we got away. And I guess we're just slowly walking up behind you. Hey guys, remember me from last year? That's me. I mean, he's the guy. Do you understand what a stranglehold he has on that franchise?

I know. He is the winningest quarterback at fucking their stadium. They have quarterbacks who play there eight times a year. He plays once a year. He's the winningest quarterback at that stadium. That's insanity. That is insane. He has played, I guessed it on CCK, but I was like, I bet they played 40 times.

I bet the Bills have won three. He's 32 and three against the Bills. Period. Period. 32-3. Holy shit. I mean, did you see my face drop there? Like, I was smiling, laughing, like, it can't be that.

And then I was like, oh, he's going to say it. Seriously, that. It was 32-3 against the Bills. That would be. I mean, the Bills are fucking a great team right now. And they will fold like a house of cards. that would be, I mean that the bills are fucking a great team right now. Yeah. And they will fold like a house of cards. They will wilt like a little flower in the case of Tom Brady.

I'd be happy for him, but just those two weeks of being like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. That's not fucking fair. That's why Tom Brady's got to go. But the, um, fuck Tom Brady,

man. Fuck Tom Brady. I mean, he's got to go. It's go, Tom, just go. Well, I would like to see, you know what, Tom, Tom, what was the other thing he was going to say? Fuck Tom Brady. Oh, come on. I mean, fuck, he's got to go. Go, Tom. Just go. Well, I would like to see him do. You know what, Tom?

Tom, it's like, now he's being mean. Now he's being selfish. It's like, literally leave some for the rest of us, guy. I would like to see him win in Tampa. Win seven and eight there. Tom is such a fucking. And then come back to New England and win nine, ten. Tom is like the.

Go out on ten. Tom's like the billionaire who's like, you know like the billionaire who's still like a cheap billionaire. Like, I got to get all my money. It's all mine. It's all mine. He's just keeping all the fucking nuts for himself. Like the little fat squirrel who's just got all the nuts and no one else can have any. That stuff during the pregame yesterday was so fucking funny.

When they were like, Tom Brady versus Drew Brees combined. They have 14 Super Bowl appearances or whatever. It's like, hey, bitch, it's all Tom. Yeah. It's one and one? No, I think they made it one other time and lost it. I think it's just the one appearance. I think it's just the one.

That's mean. A lot of mean people right now in football. Doing that stat, doing that combined, that's fucked up. It's insane. So it would have been seven, and then Brady is six and three. So maybe it's ten. I think it was 11 appearances, seven Super Bowls combined. So maybe he did have one extra.

But whatever it was, it was insane to throw that in there. What did Tyler say? Yeah, me and Wilt combined for 102 that night. Right, right. I mean, and then afterwards, you know, I'm sure they are friends, and they say goodbye, and they're shaking hands, but he's probably like, just fucking go home, Tom. Just fucking go home.

It's one of those guys like, I hate you. I don't blame you. You're not doing anything wrong, but I hate you. It's like, yeah, OK, thanks so much for your patronizing fucking conversation right now. Go home to your supermodel wife and like, go have fun with your Super Bowl in three weeks. But I'll, you know, I'm going to go kill myself. Fuck off. I'll be in the booth next week or next year when you're back in the AFC Championship.

One of my retweets I loved was just people counting. It was just the – let me see if I can get there. It was also very funny with the medium rare pink bitch. I forget if we said that on air. Yeah, yeah. I think he's won one Super Bowl or been to one. Just the one? Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Okay, so last 20 championship games. Bowl, or been to one. Just one? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So, okay. So, last 20 championship games. 2001, Tom Brady's playing. 2002, no. 2003, this one too. 2004, yep, this too. 2005, no. 2006, this one as well.

2007, yep. 2008, 2009, 2010, all blank. 2011. That was a good run. 2011, yep. 2012, yeah. 2013, present. 2014, no doubt.

2015, yes. 2016, yep. 2012, yeah. 2013, present. 2014, no doubt. 2015, yes. 2016, yep. 2017, oh yeah. 2018, oh yeah. I mean, a fucking course. 2019, blank. 2020, yep. This one too.

That's insanity! It's insanity! It is. In case now we're talking about it on CCK, we're like, I don't think, I think people will, Brady stans are easy to rile up. I will own that 100% of the time.

But, like, I don't think anyone really genuinely thinks he's not the GOAT. Like, he's like, oh, no, it's heavy. Packers fans probably would legitimately think Aaron Rodgers. But, like, Rodgers, but that's, there's a difference between the GOAT and, like, Rodgers could definitely make some throws on Brady. Yeah, like, most, like that's the goat. And like Rodgers could definitely make some throws time for you. Yeah, like for sure. Most physically gifted maybe. But if you're talking like the greatest of all time, it is. See, that's what I sometimes, again, I don't want to disparage Aaron Rodgers anymore because I like him.

But like it's either resume, which, you know, or like physically gifted. And then it's like I think like guys like Mike Vick and there's still plenty of guys who blow him out of the water. So what is, you know, he's just good. Which is fine, but he's not either of those things anymore, really. I'm actually getting a taste of what it's like to be in Aaron Rodgers' stand now, this year for the first time, and it's pretty good. Because

guess what? If the Bucs lose the NFC Championship, what's he supposed to do with the Arians out there? Yeah. You can never do that with Belichick. He's trying to drag Bruce Arians out there? Yeah. You can never do that with Belichick. Right, right. He's trying to drag Bruce Arians' fucking ass to the Super Bowl. Oh, it's Mike McCarthy. It's Mike McCarthy.

It's Bruce Arians. I hate all of you. All right, voicemail time. It's brought to you by SimpliSafe. If you've got loved ones in your house, if you've got expensive belongings and worldly possessions and art and things that matter to you, you've got to make sure you protect it all. Protect your loved ones. Protect your items, if you've got expensive belongings and worldly possessions and art and things that matter to you, you got to make sure you protect it all. Protect your loved ones, protect your items.

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You don't have to spend a lot of money, and everybody's easy. Everybody's happy. SimpliSafe.com slash KFC Radio. Hi, guys. So I had Zoom jury duty today, my first jury duty ever, and it has just been horrible. I had to wake up at 8.45 for it, and it'spm now, was not selected, all that stuff. But my question is what's like the worst thing that has to be transferred over Zoom? Jury duty is definitely up there. I heard someone pee. It's all these old

people trying to figure out how to use Zoom. It's just bad. Is there anything else that's as bad as jury duty over Zoom? Let me know. I feel like while the actual jury duty process probably sucks, it's better than having to go to the courthouse and all that shit, right? Wouldn't you rather just log into your computer and kind of sit on your couch and be comfortable while you're doing it? For sure.

So I think that's actually one of the best things that's come out of this. I couldn't even understand what the complaint was. I mean, I guess if you're hearing old people pee, it's like you would just be up in the bathroom and away from that. I wouldn't have to deal with that, but okay. How can you hear old people pee? Are they taking the laptop to the bathroom with them? I guess so, yeah.

Well, that's lunacy. But also you can just wrap a mute button real there. You would hope. Right? I'm going to mute while Vernon pisses. Vernon. Worst thing, I mean, I think therapy over zoom has been bad right uh yeah it's not bad it's just also like i it's it's i actually told her the other day that i i do not do well with my homework because i think of doing a zoom

like doing an episode and i just forget everything right away i'm like i don't remember what she said did i tell you i won my last episode my last my last showdown with her i bodied her i think i finally got through to her i don't think she was understanding this job like at all and she was kind of like why don't you do this and why don't you do that and i was like because i fucking can't because i'm like this this this and this and then by the end she was like for the first time i heard her go like oh all right i get it. Like, okay, okay. I was like, yeah, finally. Put one on the board for the good guys.

So I think I kicked her ass. The, what was what I was going to say? I think it will be the worst lasting, I said it before, I think. I don't know where, somewhere. That like the worst lasting thing about about the effect there it is effect of uh coronavirus will be that everything is done on zoom now just like just like a casual phone conversation let me pop and see you it's like i don't need and i know that's what the younger generation does is where they're like oh jesus christ john that was old that's an old sentence

right there i know but it's just a fact it's a younger generation. It's Gen Z or whatever. I know they FaceTime all the fucking time. Not interested. Not interested in FaceTiming even for a single fucking second about anything. I've had just regular, like, not like meetings, but just like talking to other people about shit. Totally understand. And it's like, I'll send you the Zoom link. Why?

We can send you a Zoom link for it. It's a phone call. Yeah, we don't need to send a link at all. We can just dial my number. It's like when people always get up, this meeting could have been an email. This fucking Zoom call could have been a phone call.

Why do we need to see each other? Or even an email, too. You can boil this all down. A lot of this does not need to be said. I'm basically in Gen Z now because I'm on TikTok, bro, so I don't even know what you're talking about.

The FaceTime, it is like my FaceTime face is like a soft dick. It's just not where – it's not how I want you to see me. Yeah. It's just not – It's not ready. It's not ready. I'm not fucking ready to be here. And you really – prior to that, you really only let the most of intimate

people see it and now everyone sees the soft deck i can i can make this better like it looks bad right now i promise i can make it better by the way girls girls complaining about makeup it's like at least you have some upward mobility at least you can make it better you know you get warping i know they kind of like you know you shoot yourself in the foot and make that the standard now you always got to put it on but But we don't even have the option. We're just ugly. We have the option, but not really. We're just ugly.

I don't have time for contouring lessons. All of a sudden I come out with fucking smoky eyes. You know, it's a problem. So at least you guys can go from ugly to hot. We just are like, well, we're permanently ugly. I'm upset with this lady, by the way, the phone call. It is obvious that jury duty on your couch is the best way to do jury duty. Everything on your couch is the best way to do jury duty. Everything on your couch is the best way to do it.

So if I can like do all of these things from my couch, see, that's where I kind of feel like the pandemic's a win minus the mass scale of death. You know, otherwise it's like, I don't know. I get to do shit from my couch.

Now it's pretty fucking what, I mean, what's worse from like, from what's a thing that's already bad that you don't really like doing that you now is made worse by getting to do it from home. Nothing. that's already bad that you don't really like doing that you now is made worse by getting to do it from home nothing it's like working from home yeah you always like working from home yeah but i mean that that could weigh that can weigh on somebody the fucking jury duty yeah yeah where it's like every single day i'm used to get out of the house and commute and be

outside yes but the the one-off like appointments and things i have to do now i can just i can do it my dick in my hand i was good as i was gonna say the only things I have to do, I can do with my dick in my hand. I was going to say the only thing you have to do during jury duty is keep your dick in your pants. Don't pull a tube in. There are two things that can never intersect. Dick out of pants, camera on. If you do one of those things, the other has to be off. You can do camera on.

You cannot do dick in hand. You can do dick in hand. You cannot do camera on. You cannot do dick in hand. You can do dick in hand. You cannot do camera on. If ever those two paths cross, it's like Ghostbusters. Can't cross paths. Well, I've crossed those paths before. Dick cannot be in front of camera. I've crossed that path as well.

You know, work meeting? Well, oh, yeah. Well, we're talking there. I'm talking just like. In general. Well, I mean, yeah, there's times where you're supposed to do that. Yeah, right, right. Yeah, no, it was requested.

Right, right. That's different. I would hope. I would hope. It was just a surprise. Surprise! I gotcha! Yeah, only cross those paths when at appropriate times where people have asked to see it.

Next up. KFC, Spike, Nick, whoever's back there, John from upstate New York. So, I'm listening to the most recent episode where you guys are talking about baseball, and the bench, or whatever. So,

I have one. It was like the, the Little League World Series, that age, the 11, 12 year olds. And, so,

we were down by one. My best friend at the time, and he was even in my And so we were down by one. My best friend at the time, and he was even in my class. We were in sixth grade. Best friend at the time was the pitcher. We were down by one. I was up bottom of the sixth. Not even kidding.

It was bottom of the sixth, two outs. We had a guy in second and third. Full count, last pitch, I hit a rope to center field. rope to center field scores both of the people starting the six games over we win walk off my best friend did not talk to me for the next week and a half yeah so um i want to hear what is the most ridiculous reason one of your friends uh did not talk to you or brought you up? Brother. Brother, I thought you were going to say ever again. Week and a half.

Of course. Okay, so run down for me. You fucking ruined his life. You ruined his childhood dream. I was checking something. Can you run down for me? He had a fucking walk-off double in the bottom of the sixth in the Little League World Series Championship, and he was like, my friend didn't talk to me for a week and a half.

You're lucky he ever talks to you again. His friend was the pitcher on the other day. Yeah, I think I would talk to you again. I'd talk to you to rub it in your face. Yeah, no, the pitcher won't talk to him. Yeah, but

I don't... That's why. Because he doesn't want you to rub it in his face. I would never talk to that guy again. You wouldn't? That guy's out of my life. You wouldn't? I mean, you don't have like a choice, really. You know, I don't know.

You see him at school the next day. I was surprised he held up for a week and a half. I mean, I've told the story. I mean, this was more than this guy's father screwed me over. R.J. Maxwell and his father. His father was the fucking umpire. The kid on the other team in the championship, his father was the umpire. Can't have that.

The ball hit home plate. He called the strike. I mean, you can't do that. We had a ball that was ripped down the line that he called foul and then said, no, no, no, no, it was fair. So, like, we all kind of, like, stopped playing, you know, foul ball. And then he was like, oh, never mind. And the guys are fucking rounding the bases. I've never let him.

I will never let that go. If I ever see RJ Maxwell, I will be like, Hey, tell your father, I'm going to fucking hunt him down and kill him. So, you know,

I hold grudges when it comes to little league baseball. I understand this guy. I don't think that there's a little different when it's just like tip your cap. Like you just beat me. You hit a ball off me. Yeah. If he, if he like screws you over at a,

you know, his father fucked you, then it's a different story. What was, well, I guess. We used to call that guy's house. We used to leave messages on his machine. We, there was a message where one of my friends, we were talking about that ball that hit the home plate. He's like, the ball hit the plate, sir.

And he goes, that ball should be inserted into your asshole. Calling the man's home. Called the man's home. Call it the man's home. We were like in college talking about this game that we played when we were like 11. So, you know. I like that. I like that.

Yeah, that's better. That's real. That's much better than just being mad at your friend. I don't even think I could ever hold a garage because I just wouldn't remember. I just forget. Yeah. The next day, like, what's up, dude?

And he's like, are you going to talk to me? Oh, yeah. I forgot. I probably wouldn't forget. I'd just forget. Yeah. The next day, like, what's up, dude? And he's like, are you going to talk to me? Oh, yeah. I forgot. I probably wouldn't forget. I forgot about our blood feud. But I would forget. I couldn't tell you. I don't think I have any grudges.

I don't know. If you don't have a grudge, if you don't know you have a grudge, you don't have a grudge. Right. I don't think there's any reason I should have a grudge. And if you can forget about a grudge, it was never a grudge to begin with.

Yeah. Bam. That's a pillow for you. If it's enough to forget about, itudge, it was never a grudge to begin with. Yeah. Bam. That's for you. If it's, if it's enough to forget about, it was never enough to grudge about in the first place. True. True.

I like my grudges. I have a, a, I have a brain. If you cross the line of no return, you can't ever then go back. If you go back, then it just is like,

I never went back. I just got lost. I just got lost. I didn't go back. it just is like I never went back I just got lost I didn't go back I just ended up on the other side of the line I got turned around I come back and I'm like wait I've already been to this part of the woods I just got lost out here

I forget but you know if you ever grudge so hard that you ruin someone and then you're like never mind I'll bury the hatchet. It's like, well, no. Because you can't undo the ruining. You know what I mean? You can't undo whatever you've done in the grudge.

I've definitely never ruined anything. Right. Well, I would hope not. No. I have a brain like someone in an LSD experimental study, and then I have a memory like a goldfish. So I just, like, I went. You whacked this thing out, but then I forget. Yeah. a goldfish. So I just like... You whacked this thing out but then I forget. We were in a fight?

Okay, don't take your word for it. I stabbed your mom to death. That was you! I remember you. Alright, that was pretty fucked up. Say hello to your mother for me. Let's do a couple more. What's up guys? So today was my ex-boyfriend's birthday

so i texted him saying happy birthday whatever um he's married so it seemed pretty harmless whatever it was normal we were just kind of catching up and then he started getting a little creepy and then like out of the blue he admitted that he kept screenshots of us sexting from when we were dating like eight years ago when we were in high school um and then he like he sent them to me and it it was so cringe like oh it was it was so bad and honestly i couldn't even read them it was like nauseating i was so shook this seems like major pre-crime to me um maybe i'm way off base um so i thought i'd get your thoughts and see if you guys have ever had an act like reach out with anything weird years later well i mean

here's the thing x's reconnect like it's a fuck that's not that crazy no i had an ex reach out with a kid once but it wasn't mine i'm kidding that didn't happen that is like you know if you're gonna do that if you're gonna be like you know send an old sext or an old picture or rekindle that you gotta like make sure everyone's on the same page you know yeah so I feel like he was kind of like

sitting at home nostalgic and horny and she was not but we're talking about two different things here talking about rekindling the fuck sure if you're saving all that old stuff that's not okay yeah that shit yeah like you can save you can save once the once the whether we're calling a relationship or not whatever it is once the uh the amorous texting the amorous amorous SMSing. Okay. Stops. Those need to go away.

Gotta go. Yeah. Gotta go. Because those are, like, it's kind of like the Army Hammer thing, where it's like, when we are in that mode. And as long as it's not, like, cannibal shit. As long as, you know, that'd be, like, maybe the FBI's gonna want to see that. You wanna hang on to that? We're just doing sexting.

That's a little something called evidence. Yeah. No, but if it's sexting, and you are in the sexting amorousness then it all everybody's it's good but if it's like i if i'm out you know i'm not articulating this well but you know what i'm saying it's like if you are in the sexting portion of a relationship those messages look totally normal to you and then if you're on the outside you're like oh my god and the minute that one person even is on the outside of that, those both people should have to get rid of it. Yeah, I think that's a handshake deal.

But if like he thought she was still in it. But yeah, eight years later and you're married and you have kids and I'm moved on. You shouldn't have those. No. And also, you could like what a bad move. You can like you want to like rekindle. You can like bring it up. You know, I mean, we used to have some crazy times, but to be like verbatim, here you go.

Yeah, here it is. I don't want to see that. Nothing turns me off more than my own sex. Ugh. Nothing. Especially when you're, you know, let's say, I'm assuming this girl's like mid-20s. You're talking like eight years ago. These are like high school sex.

It's like, oh my God. I'm going to kiss your vagina. Yeah. I mean, those have got to be the worst of the worst. If you want me to go soft dick, I prefer to go hard dick. You want me to go soft dick? Show me my own sex.

Show me my face on FaceTime. Show me my old sex. Both situations, soft dick. I'll fucking, I'm borderline suicidal if you show me my own sex. What the fuck is wrong with this person?

You know the old thing, like you send a text and you throw it across the room yeah i get that text i'm throwing it across it doesn't have to be that text it's any text but like yeah it's the same kind of thing yeah i mean that's that is a life ruiner right there final voicemail of the day is brought to you by brothers printers uh you want to make some labels you want to organize your life what was that chick marie Kondo? Oh, yeah. Marie Kondo. Marie Kondo, yeah.

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Hi. So my wife and I, we got in a big argument about a hypothetical situation, which is always fun. We were talking about the lottery. Let's say you win $250 million after taxes, whatever. Outside of all the realistic stuff, put them away you take care of some you know big debts whatever you want to do we were talking about what we would want to do for our friends and my wife said you know yeah we'd take them on trips i said oh yeah you know you

fly everyone out you pay for everything you get to do cool stuff and i said but i'd probably have one or two friends i just want to give some like cash. Nothing crazy. I give them $25,000, $50,000 in just cash. They said, no, that creates a weird dynamic. Am I right? Am I wrong? I feel like if they won, that was my argument, is that if they won, I would kind of expect, not expect something,

but maybe kind of expect just some cash. Some walking around money. I've always thought this. I think it's cheap. Maybe $25,000 if you won $250 million. I want to do with it. Yeah. I've always thought this, like, I think it's cheap. Maybe 20, 25, you want 250 million.

See, that's my problem. So, and this is where I kind of understand a little bit of like, you know, more money, more problems, like the plight of like wealthy people.

But like, if you become wealthy, I don't even, even if you earn it, like if I'm struggling and I know you have like hundreds of millions of dollars, I feel like, yo, come on, like help me out.

Right. But like, I don't know. That's also weird that you're just like, what am I? You're fucking keeper. Like, why would I give you my money?

You know, do a Clooney style. Pick, pick a, pick a list of 14. I got my guys. I'm gonna take care of my guys. So that clue,

but like, but dude, there's that 15th, 16th guy who's like, nah, kill you. Nah, there's, I think there's a, there's a clear that clue story is there's that 15th 16th guy who's like not to kill you nah there's i i think there's a there's a clear line i think there's i think it's easier to cut off at like four than it is like 15 oh well that's all i have so yeah so there's a clear line between my friends you know my friends i'd give a million how do you decide

someone who's your 15th or 16th best friend versus like this is my you were like in my wedding type shit that's it you know and there's always going to be some bubble people. But 15 and 16 is not. Yeah, I mean, I guess that's Clooney's problem. He has two, he's two pot friends. Like, that's not a problem I'd have. In fact, that fucking picture that Tommy was sending around the other day, the gay thing.

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I said to my three friends that I sent it to, I wish I had more friends so I could do this. Because the rush when you're waiting for people to respond with their numbers is so much fun. There's only four of us. There's only four of us. And three of my friends were like, we all agree. And then one of my friends was like, I got this going in six other group chats.

But it would be, I would probably have five people. And how much are you breaking off? A million? At least. If I'm winning $250, you're getting at least a million. Yeah. I think so. But I don't know.

That might be a guy-girl thing. What do you mean? I don't know if girls would do that. Like, his wife is mad about it. Oh, yeah. I can see guys being like, I got to take care of my boys. I can see girls being like, fuck that bitch. The Clooney thing, which I think we've talked about fairly recently, that wasn't after Casamigos.

Right. That was just like acting money. Yeah, that was just acting money. That's a lot to give away. And I think that's such a cool sentence he had when he bumped into some billionaire in a Vegas casino and the billionaire was like, why did you do that? And he's like, why the fuck haven't you?

Yeah. Like, what do you need with all that money? Take care of your voice. Just fucking hook him up. I'd be like, yo, we're going out tonight. I got a bunch of fucking Toomies. I got a bunch of fucking, I don I got a bunch of fucking Herschel bags or whatever nothing flashy

you can buy your own fucking Louie if you want and then I'd be like yo here you guys go here's fucking 2 million bucks and then by the way the goodwill you earn with those 15 people and the popularity you get with the public if you're a celebrity who does that is like well worth it in the long run

he's a legend because of that. And if anything ever happened, he has 15 people who will take a bullet for it because they just gave them a million dollars. I mean, that kind of shit is... How do you think that works tax-wise? You just report that and you just bury that shit in the back of your head. Well, yeah. I mean, if he just gives you straight cash, homie, it's probably...

It was definitely straight cash. I mean, probably not after you talk about it like this, but I would imagine that it's just like, shh, keep quiet. You think so? What do you even do with it? I don't know how you get the money out. That's kind of the problem. It's like, I feel like when you get that cash, it raises flags.

And then the IRS sees, like, what would you do with this $15 million? Oh, yeah, true. He definitely had to report it. Yeah, I think. Unless, like, unless he's just been slowly amassing it. Like, every time you go to the casino, you just stack away some money. No, because he had to go to. Like, a bank and, like.

Yeah. To, like, take him. To give it ahead of time. Take an elevator in a van. And then, like. Yeah, yeah. They fill that van with cash. Right.

And take the elevator back down. Right. That's some shit. So, yeah. I feel like I would definitely hook my. As long as it's, like, you know. Because you can win. You know, you win, like, $10 million. And it's, like. I can give you, yeah, I feel like I would definitely hook my – as long as it's like – because you can win – you win like $10 million and it's like I can give you like, I don't know, 10 grand or something like that. If I won $250 million –

That's money to burn. You know what I mean? I would think all of my best friends – at least maybe three. You might be getting three a pop. When Dave's like I have infinite money and you're talking into that level. Yeah, this is me asking money for Dave. Hey, give me money. But I think I would definitely like my family. But I would give money to my friends before my extended family.

Fuck yeah. Are you kidding me? I would give my immediate family, but I ain't bringing my cousins and shit. My extended family wouldn't get in a fucking dime. Yeah, then I'd get shit. Just my peoples. Right. My peoples would get money. These are the people that choose to like hang out with me basically your cousins you have to you put up with this for your whole life right you've earned at least three million dollars like the more i talk about it might be up to five million now

like just take that you would just take the whole thing like yeah it's like it's like you're five thousand dollars in jenga whatever whatever you can just have the whole thing you know i would do i i'm trying to think how i would do it because i have i have like seven close friends it's like your $5,000 in Jenga. Whatever, whatever. You can just have the whole thing. You know what I would do? I'm trying to think how I would do it. Because I have like seven close friends. It's like three close guy friends. We have like a little circle of like seven of us or so. And I would buy a house, like a big fucking house, and invite everyone there for the weekend or the week or whatever.

And then I would have everyone has a bag of let's call it, let's just call it three million. And then everyone else will get the key to the house. I'm like, this is just our house now. That'd be cool. Yeah. That'd be cool. Maybe you make them. I don't know where I'd do it.

Maybe you make them compete for it for one bag of three million. And then in the end, the surprise is that you all got three million. But you got to learn, like, who's your real, you know, like, there's the one friend who's like, you know what, man? I don't even want to, like, do the scavenger hunt. I just want to hang out with you for the weekend. He's like, well, you get five. And then there's the one asshole who's, like, a dick about it. It's like, you just drop down to one.

Teaching lessons with my money, man. All right. Teaching lessons to 35-year-olds. And in the end, they get millions of dollars anyway, no matter what happens. Not that much of a lesson let us know if you would give money to your friends and which celebrities you think are that's your koc radio homework and we'll see you guys on thursday for another edition i've got some missions that nobody can see and all of these emotions are pouring out of me I bring them to the life in you It's only like this is

This soundtrack to my life This soundtrack to my life To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life

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