KFC Radio - Justin Timberlake Arrested for Drunk Driving - Full Episode

Episode Date: June 20, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 00:32 Justin Timberlake Got Arrested for Being Drunk 13:10 Hotels need to stop having throw pillows 15:30 The Booze Ponies are in the Final Four of The Dozen 19:29 Jayson Tatum is the worst 34:36 Feits is gonna be in Paris for a wedding during The Dozen 47:31 Video Voicemail: Uncompromising Situation 09:29 Video Voicemail: Most Athletic Profession 01:14:22 Video Voicemail: White trash tendencies Caitlin Clark Recreating Kobe Photo: https://www.instagram.com/tsn_official/p/C4WUOe6gXVx/?img_index=1 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). CANN: Head to https://DrinkCann.com and use code KFC20 for 20% off your order of Cann and a free Roadie 6pk sampler.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I have seven minutes of happiness a week. Out of hundreds of hours. It's a pretty good gig, guys! It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. We're here on Juneteenth, John. Yes.

Here working on it. I grind, man. What are we? Is it a Klans rally over here? We don't even have Juneteenth off here at Barstool Sports. So we're grinding away. Rough weekend for your boy, Justin Timberlake. Not even weekend, weeknight. Justin Timberlake, absolutely shattered drunk.

You see that? Yeah, I saw people say that. I don't know. He looks fine to me. What? I'd give him the keys. Bro, are you nuts? Have you never seen someone with drunk eyes before?

Maybe he's just so handsome i can't see past it but like whatever dude if that guy came up to me i'd be like he's fine bro that dude has the drunkest eyes i've ever seen their bloodshot they're glassy there's nothing behind the wheel that's just a good time man honestly i for like the fear the first hundred times i saw the mugshot i was like he looks good and then and then people started saying how drunk he was and i was i don't know he was wrecked and smart boy refused the breathalyzer three times everybody knows look dude look at those eyes are you kidding me i mean if you if this was if you told me this is a picture just in terms of like i go okay i don't i don't notice details apparently like now that you're pointing out the eyes i can see it a bit excuse me but i'm still

not thinking holy shit he's not like it's great i think that's yeah yeah they got a ring light on the guy this is crazy they did give him good lighting they did give him good lighting it's almost too much lighting. That's why you see the eyes. Yeah, like if this was like an album cover, it could be artsy. If his eyes were a little less red, it would be like an artsy album cover. Dude, this is so fucking sucks so bad. Justin Timberlake's DUI mugshot that the whole internet is saying,

he's so fucked up, looks better than any picture I've ever taken. Ever. Ever taken. They have the footage of him. It's not, I don't know. It's not like he drove through a fucking house or something like that. They said he didn't stop at a stop sign and he couldn't stay in his lane. No one can stay in their lane.

That's a nonsense one. Bro, lanes are crazy. If staying in a lane is a law stay in the lanes a lot arrest me every time i drive brother i mean lanes it's it's like uh what i think kramer says that they're just a suggestion yeah it's just like you know i'm i'm very fluid with my driving the the line is there like in when there's like serious traffic yeah if. Yeah. If there's no traffic, it's... Well, have you ever driven one of those newer cars that vibrate when you start drifting? It's like, I know.

Turns out you've been drifting a lot your entire life. Dude, I get the... It buzzes like I'm asleep. I'm like, this was a tactical move. Leave me alone. And then I get the boom, boom, change driver, change driver. I'm like, I'm fucking fine. It's been 20 minutes.

I have to put your fucking blinker on every time if you don't want the thing to bust. Get out of here. So if that's your reason to pull me over. Pull me over every time I drive. Pull me over every time I drive. Now, Timberlake refused the breathalyzer, which is the smart move. Also means he was absolutely wrecked. I'm sure it was double the limit. Now, the details

are where it gets funny. First of all, he told authorities he had one martini and then witnesses at the restaurant said that when people were getting up to go to the bathroom, he was stealing their drinks. That's my guy. Imagine watching Justin Timberlake

so shit-faced that like someone's like i'll be right back honey and he's like grabs a wine glass and just slams it and puts it back down that's a move that the move when you're fucked up and you're with your friends you're just like hey what's that over there and they look at you slam their drink that's the best thing in the world i'll do it with drinks i don't even like I'm like ugh Pina Colada Gross And then of course The thing everyone's talking about Cause I'm thinking to myself A superstar gets pulled over in the Hamptons

Unless he like hits a person Or something You know You're not getting charged with this And this cop Did not recognize him by face And did not recognize him by name and did not recognize him by name. And then he said, this is going to fuck up the tour.

And the cop said, what tour? And he said, the world's tour. I don't believe that. You don't think that? I believe the cop didn't know him. I think that was like the report, though. Yeah. I just don't.

Maybe. Look, I don't know, obviously. But Justin Timberlake just muttered to himself this is gonna ruin the tour that's a crazy thing no but i i could see him being like oh shit like this is gonna fuck up the tour i i it could happen and then the cops saying what tour and him saying the world tour sounds like a script not reality yeah oh a second source added i don't know i could see that happening i mean i can see it being like this is gonna fuck up the tour and when the cop who doesn't know him is like what

i don't think it was like i think it was like the world tour you asshole like how do you not know i am yeah that sort of thing it's certainly i i 100 believe the cop didn't recognize him i'm sure that even that's kind of a hard belief but that but that exchange feels very scripty. This is the price you pay. I've always said about Timberlake, he's done it right. He catches a lot of heat for the Janet Jackson shit, and now there's Britney Spears' book. That aside, he's done it right. He's fine in both for me. Totally.

The Janet Jackson thing is fucking nuts. To this day, there are people who act like janet jackson was not in on that yeah it was janet jackson's idea like it's her outfit you know how it's you know like how how insane you have to be to think that was just jt if that was what you thought it was he would be like in jail yeah if he was just like i'm gonna rip janet jackson's shirt off at the super bowl she would have fucking hit him there would have been was, he would be in jail. If he was just like, I'm going to rip Janet Jackson's shirt off at the Super Bowl, she would have fucking hit him. There would have been arrests and he would have been

canceled. Janet Jackson's done a documentary saying, I told Justin, don't say anything. This is on me. I know the general vibe was shut up. Don't jump into this fire as well. She had a fucking heart, a sun piece of jewelry around the nipple.

That's what you do when you're going to expose your nipple to the world. So that was just so crazy. And I guess you could say that if something was really going down and you were like, dude, don't throw yourself into it, I probably would anyway. But we're like best friends. Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson, I'd probably be like, I'm going to let you go. You had an idea. I went yourself into it. I probably would anyway. Yeah. But we're like best friends. Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson. I'd probably be like, I'm going to let you go. You had an idea. I went alone.

I didn't even know we knew each other until 20 minutes ago. Your idea totally backfired. You got to deal with that. And then the Britney Spears thing. It's like, yeah, you had an abortion. No fucking kidding. Yeah. I support women's rights.

Her body, her choice. But so aside from that, Justin Timberlake has done it right. He, you know, made superstar albums. He made money. He made superstar money. He made at least an album or two that I think are, like, considered, like, really, like, you made good music. Did a couple movies.

Not so great. Whatever. And then married, like probably his uh his you know like dream girl with jessica biel they both just kind of like went off you know into obscurity kind of and lived their life with their kids but then nobody knows who you are 25 years later and you get duis so you have to decide do you want DUIs when you're like 45, 55, 65? Because if you don't, you have to be out in the public more. Because then nobody knows you. If a cop is – dude, I did ATI with Miss Pat.

And I asked her the question. The question was, what song would you turn on? Like what's the first song? Like what was it? It was like the first song or the number one song you go to to turn the party up. And she said, back that ass up. And our new, the new girl in booking, Sage, was watching. And I said, you probably don't even know that song.

And she goes, no, but my mom probably does. Oh, my God. And then we played it for her. She did know it after one note so i was like okay yeah you're good uh but she said she was born in 2004 and i was like you're probably like 2002 2001 before or after 9-11 all right see he's good if you if you're born if you were not alive during 9-11 i don't care if you're a couple months old. You're still... You make the qualifier. But like

there's probably a whole bunch of 20-year-olds who would be like... I don't recognize him. I think of him as like big enough that you would know... Everyone would know him, but he has not been in the spotlight for like 15 years. He had... What's his

troll song? That's a mega hit from five years ago, seven years ago. It's a cartoon almost. You know what I mean? But it was a pop hit. Yes, yes. But you might hear it.

If I played it for you, you'd go, oh, I know that song. But I don't know the guy by face. What is it? Not Happy's Pharrell. Can't stop the feeling. Yeah, there it is.

I've heard that song probably more than anything I've ever heard in my life. Kids love that song. So, you know, that's the price you pay, JT. I've heard that song probably more than anything I've ever heard in my life. Kids love that song. So, you know, that's the price you pay, JT. You lived your life in relative, like for how big he was, he lived his life in pretty obscurity. You know what I mean?

He used to be like can't go anywhere with Britney Spears and shit. And now. I can't believe you're only 43. Yeah, that's why I just paused right there because i saw that and i was like no fucking way the uh i'm also always just so surprised when a celebrity gets a dui like just get an uber you know what so easy i'm beyond that i'm beyond that i'm surprised when anybody yeah yeah like it used to be a. Like, it used to be. For a celebrity, but yeah. It used to be, when you're rich, how could you get a DUI? You have a driver. You have a chauffeur.

You get brought around in a limo. Da, da, da. You could pay for this and that. Now it's like, literally homeless people can get an Uber. Like, everybody has access to an Uber at this point. Unless you're in Chicago. No, they don't do it? I mean, it's crazy. crazy oh i do think that was

a thing there wasn't it it's a thing every time we go yeah it takes 20 minutes to get a car yeah well in that case yeah if tim blake was in chicago i would relate to this i say it could have been me what's your limit how many minutes when it pops up on the uber are you like motherfucker oh five eight for me five eight is like the i'm enraged if i see eight minutes or What's your limit? How many minutes when it pops up on the Uber are you like, motherfucker? Oh, five. Eight for me. Eight is like the I'm enraged. If I see eight minutes or more, I'm like, this is – what is this fucking medieval times? Eight minutes for an Uber?

But Chicago – and I talk – it's a thing because I talk to the guys at the office about it. I was like, what the fuck is – because it will be – it's always eight to ten minutes and then they always cancel at least once and then they never know where you are i mean we were there for three days every time we got an uber it was an ordeal yeah yeah when they loop around when you see it's not just chicago it's basically every city but new york yeah new york just figured it the fact that new york knew to build a subway like a billion years ago and make the city like a perfect grid basically you know when there was like still no running water and electricity it's pretty fucking good they had some serious foresight on that one that is that is good on you that was that's like when

uh when i was in ireland and they're talking about how dublin is becoming the new like london so to speak as far as like major brands go because of brexit major brands have to have a headquarters in the eu so they had to put move it put another one and ireland made the most sense english-speaking country it's right there blah blah so dublin's got a lot of big companies coming and one of the cab drivers explaining that he's, we don't have anywhere to fucking put everybody. We don't have any... Traffic's crazy everywhere.

We're not... We don't have... He's like, we can't do a subway. We can't do... Traffic's just fucking insane now. I think if you don't start with a subway,

I don't think you can do a subway. It's like, you have to go under the fucking ground. It's impossible. You ever see that movie In Time, On Time? Oh, yeah.

It's a good movie. Yeah, it's pretty solid. I only saw it once or twice, but I liked it. I think, or on time oh yeah it's a good movie yeah it's pretty solid yeah i only saw like once or twice i think or i should say it's a good concept like i think i think if you know you got maybe some better actors or whatever and did it like the with the right p like if christopher nolan did that movie it would be fucking yeah yeah that that movie is what like i think tenant should have been tenant i was like i don't know what's going on there's fucking chair there's like objects that can time travel, I don't know what's going on. There's fucking objects that can time travel now. I don't know what's going on. But On Time made a lot of sense.

Yeah, it definitely wasn't very well reviewed, but I liked it. Oh, it has Cillian Murphy, too? So maybe I shouldn't say better actors. Maybe I should just say later in their careers. Oh, I don't remember Cillian Murphy. Cillian Murphy, Justice League, Man of Cypher, Olivia Wilde. Dude, one other thing before I forget. Hotels need to stop having throw pillows.

Throw pillows? Yeah. Why? Because, you know, like the little pillows they put at the front of the pillows you'll use when you sleep? I mean, I know what a throw pillow is, but I feel like hotels don't have those. They're popping up a lot more. A lot more. Our hotel just had one.

He's not going to know. That long brown pillow. Dude, what happened to that? I wouldn't be surprised if Pav slept on a floor. He didn't make it to the bed. My last night there, my AC wasn't working. It was 90 degrees in Chicago that night.

It took me until midnight to be like, alright, something needs to happen. Because I was just sweating so much. Insane. I finally got my room fixed. Or they put me in a different room at like 1 a.m. Oh, really? I sat there for four hours just in 90 degrees.

What? Just trying to fall asleep. Why? Like when you're younger like that, you just don't give a fuck about anything. I mean. It's beautiful. Stay there as long as you can. It's like the pseudo-adult version of Billy Madison.

Stay here where you just don't care about anything. When I first moved to New York, I didn't have an AC for like three years. I could have just gotten one. Three fucking years. I would sleep in bed naked, and I would sleep like this. Skin didn't touch skin, so I'd get so hot. No blankets, no nothing. But throw pillows – that longer brown pillow that was made of a different material.

The decorative pillows, yeah. Because they don't clean those. So stop putting those on my fucking bed. Yeah. You throw them on the floor, and then you put them back on the bed. And then you put them back. Or, I don't know, look, when you go into a hotel room, you know everything's covered in cotton. Safe to assume.

But you know for sure the pillows. Like, someone's putting them between their legs and shit like that. And there's no fucking pillowcase to change out. Right. So you're not changing that pillow. You're not cleaning that pillow. Stop putting on my other fucking pillows. Great fucking point.

That's a great fucking point. Those, like, the rugs are covered in cum. You know what I mean? Like, everything. Everything. It's almost made of cum Yeah I feel like you could like

Knock and like It would fall apart And just shatter Cum shattering It's like Like Mr. Freeze came in Yeah That's what I mean

Mr. Cum Everybody cum My boy did it My boy's in the final four For the dozen Yeah Tonight If you're listening on Release day on Thursday Tonight will be My boy did it. My boy's in the final four for the dozen. Yeah. Tonight, if you're listening on release day on Thursday, tonight will be the final four and the championship.

Final four and the championship will be tonight. My boy nailed the final question to beat Yak. To beat the yak and he did it for everybody like 32 and up who was trying to masturbate to FX shows back in the day the answer to the question was

Nip Tuck so anybody who grew up in our generation where it was like not quite internet porn yet and you needed to scramble to find some sort of material Nip Tuck was primo dude Nip Tuck was primo. Dude, Nip Tuck was. I mean, Christian Troy is a – I'm embarrassed to admit this now, but at the time of my life, Christian Troy was my god. My hero.

In like A3 graduation, like what do you want to be when you grow up? Christian Troy. You mean a doctor? No, specifically him. I want to be the doctor that builds pussies. One time I watched him fuck a transvestite and he noticed she was trans because he could tell her pussy was made by a man. With his dick. His dick knew the pussy was synthetic. And so he stopped fucking her.

So he just stopped fucking her. He's like, no way. That pussy's man-made. I was like, at that time, I was probably a virgin, I would have to guess. And I was like, oh, my God. I hope my dick ages a lot because I can't tell anything. How the fuck? And guess what?

As I've gotten older, I'd have no fucking idea. I don't even know if it's a pussy or a butthole, let alone a fucking... I can't tell if I'm in, if I'm out, which hole I am in. It'll take me three thrusts to realize it fell out. That's funny. Yeah, but it was one of those. That's back-to-back tournaments, too, I got. Don't give me TV. TV with the game on the line.

It's over. It's like Barry Bonds said, walk me, dude. What? Oh, no. So the tone was set early. I just watched the initial handshake between Will and Dan where there's obviously been friction. And they tried to do the trump, and he just fucking yanked him over.

Oh, no. Oh, no. It was a tone-setting move. Dude, you can't do that. I don't know why this time was different because I played in the dozen tournament last time. You can't do that. Dude, this, it's, I don't know why this time was different, because I played in the dozen tournament last time, and it was fun last time, and this time it was real.

No, it was, no, it was exceptionally fun, but I was so juiced up. Yeah. Like, I was, like, I had nervous energy bouncing around. I don't know, not just this match, both matches. They've got their thing going on with the Beer Olympics, and they were on Unnamed together, and they were, like, kind of like kind of fighting it oh that is a that's an all-time picture dana beers puts the team on his back all the time dude yeah he's really good right dana's unbelievable yeah dana dana dana has a legit right to the mvp yeah because he has that uh that like savant brain when it comes to those names and he. He knows sports.

He knows every draft pick. He knows every player. He knows every team. Baseball, he's very sufficient. Basketball, he's can't miss. Football, he's really good. Like, it's... Dana's a fucking force. Oh, do you hear what he said to them? No.

He goes to Dana, he goes, Fuck you! You're fat! To Shay, he goes, Fuck you're fat to shay goes fuck you your nerve well i like you as i'm saying it out loud i'm realizing it's kind of the uh you're cool you're cool but it didn't feel like that in a moment so i don't know if it was a reference or not speaking of jason tatum dude i i saw bamani jones make an interesting point where he was like this is how it's gonna be and maybe i don't know i was gonna ask you about this because i i thought i thought it was very obvious but i didn't know if boston fans were gonna be like

you guys are making like something out of nothing but you saw that and you were like oh the moment we i was still i didn't see a lot of this until the next day but we were still watching the tv when he did like the kg reenactment and yeah that was the first thing that came to mind that was terrible um did he did the uh what they're gonna say now which was like angel reese just did that oh it's steph curry steph curry whatever and then um there's another clip of him he's like it's like when they first first like the you know when the clock expires and he's like this and you see him look up and see the camera and then go back and then grab deuce and it's like the the the compilation said bro was farming for an iconic moment i mean he was and then the picture

there's a picture too of him like yeah like come on like but that was. And then the picture. There's a picture, too, of him like, yeah, come on. But that one's unfair. So the picture, I think you can do that with anybody with the trophy. Yes. Everyone hugs the trophy. You can isolate it and put next to Kobe hugging the trophy and next to MJ hugging the trophy and all that. The quotes, the actual quotes are for sure a fair criticism.

The picture, I don't think is. We have to stop recreating photos, especially the Kobe one. I don't get it at all, because maybe the first time someone did it might have been cool. Now every single time someone wins a trophy, they do the Kobe one. Did you see the Caitlin Clark one? It was like

when she won the Iowa Big Ten Championship or something. They tried to do the side by side. Like, let me. It was like that. You can't do that. Yeah, that is.

You can't be doing that. But what Bermuda Jones said was, I don't know. Maybe now I'm thinking about it. Maybe not. He's like, when a generation is raised on memes they all can't be surprised that's how they think they think they're gonna do in memes but like it's just so contrived like i just i think ultimately and this is fine is ultimately i think jason tannis is not that cool a guy he's just great at basketball he's very drake-esque yeah like you know i think even

drake's like i think think Drake can be cool. Well, yes. For sure. Drake can divinely be cool. But he also does some corny shit. I think there's also a difference though. Jason Tatum would be – I mean he's not – it's not that he's not beloved. Whatever.

This is all just like splitting hairs here. But he would be beloved if he was just like i'm kind of like a quirky weird yeah you know like i went to duke and i play basketball yeah i'm good at that right fantastic dude right exactly that he's uh uh mets fans do it a lot with pete alonso pete alonso always tries to like make a moment yeah and rap lyrics and like grab the bat and like put it to his head and like yeah yeah exactly exactly just fucking mash just be like i'm the kind of like thick goofy dude and i mash and people would love that yeah you have to know like i'm not even saying don't don't think in terms of your your

brand and the memes and shit like i don't think i would do that i think i would just like live it and go but if you want to be conscious of it fine but take a look at yourself yeah you know what i mean and be like okay what role am i gonna be on the internet am i gonna be like the cool swaggy guy who like gives the rah-rah speech and hits you with the good quote i'm not that guy yeah but what i am is like i'm the corny guy like the goofy guy who knows it that's your your lane like you gotta uh they're actually i think okay so i know what you're saying but i think we're at the point maybe like starting now like he just said you can't hug the fucking trophy because you're you're gonna get the trophy i don't think you have to like hug the trophy i think you can raise the trophy you can

grab i don't think like putting your face up against the trophy anymore is because you're just going to get that treatment. Yeah. I mean, I think that's – I don't know. It's a huggable trophy. The Stanley Cup, you can't really hug. The Stanley Cup, you lift. It's like a human. Larry O'Brien, it feels like a hug.

It's got a head and a body. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah. I mean, everything else is very what do you think it is that like it's got to be internet related that like is that a real text or no i got no so you know that i got you today it's text right the way jason tatum texting kobe so jason tatum used to

text kobe i got you today just when he was dead just to like it was just like that and he would post it like it's not like he would just do when there was like a report about it he would genuinely post like him texting kobe yeah yeah he's just he's not that like he's just you're good at basketball man and that's awesome right don't try anything else uh but i i guess it's like when you grow up with the internet and see everything and see people getting it's a long way to say what bonnie jones said about growing up seeing memes but it's like you're almost uh like it forces you to act that way you know what i mean like it's all like why do they why do they why do you not try to make your own moment and recreate it yeah i think it's like, why do they, why do they, why do you not try to make your own moment and recreate it?

I think it's because you've seen every moment growing up and remember all those moments and how much attention that got and what a reaction that got. And it's like, I just want that. So I'm going to do that rather than just being like, I'm going to let this experience happen to myself and see what I say and see what I do. It's like the KG one in particular is bad because like the KG one itself. It's like... The KG one in particular is bad because the KG one itself was tough.

Right. The KG one itself, despite the fact that it became crazy popular, it felt pretty forced that moment. Well, wasn't it the Adidas thing? He fucked up, right? That's the rumor. I think and I think other people think.

He was an Adidas athlete. Impossible is nothing was their tagline. He said anything is possible. I think he was supposed is possible i think i'm pretty sure i'm sure the guys at adidas were like no motherfucker that's like dave yesterday with the derrick white shirts so good what was that he tried to put a shirt on sale that said i can't even i can't even i get mixed up now. Heroes get remembered, but legends never die. And he, that's the quote.

And he said, like, legends, can we get that back up? It's so funny. It's so Dave. Just go to his media and pick the Derek White shirts. And he put it, it like on sale and everything it just goes to show yeah click the derrick white shirt oh wait no that's the correct one heroes die legends live forever and and you know that people like merch was just like whatever dave says yeah yeah

and then everybody the whole world was obviously like, that's not the quote you asked. Heroes die. Your hero will be dead one day. But if he's a legend, he lives forever. I said, I want that one. Yeah. Like, now that's the good thing to have. And I was arguing with Dave.

Of course, Dave wanted to do. We did our Monday rundown, and then they win. And he's like course dave wanted to do uh we did our monday rundown and then they win and he's like you guys want to do a tuesday rundown i wonder why um it's been a while since the championship rundown and um so we do it and and he's you know talking about the whole experience and i don't doubt that that i know this was a this was a big one specifically this was a medium one specifically because of kairi there was some juice there there was no nothing came of it so there was really nothing to remember it was just like a thumping of kairi so it's just like it's like vanquished it's just done you know um so i don't doubt that dave was feeling emotion but i said to, there's no fucking way.

You can tell me all you want. The next banner is the most important one. And it feels the same way. It doesn't. It doesn't. You can't. And I'm not saying that. I'm not even knocking you.

I'm saying when you're 45 and this is number 14, your body, your brain, your heart, whatever, will not produce the same feeling as the first five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve i don't know there's no way that it's the same and i feel like that and i know it was a gentleman sweep and a blowout elimination game but the video of the gambling cave going viral of you guys just being like, yes, we did it, is... It's hard for me to say because it's obviously for me the Celtics does not hit the same. That clip in particular is pretty hard. Actually, it was a concern of mine even being there.

You are half asleep. We'd been at the office that day since... The yawn! That was a long day. I was concerned with my presence there because I thought maybe I'd bring down the vibes

just because I'm not as into it. I thought maybe they'd want to watch it with just Celtics maniacs. A couple of the guys were like, no, you should stay. So I stayed. So this is like this. But also to react to this clip, this is, I mean, they've won every game by 20 points. It's been two months of just beatdowns.

No, I get that. I get that. But this is similar to how we reacted, me, Dave, and Karabas, when the Sox won in 2018, where it was just like, when they're foregoing conclusions. I think the Sox won in six, where it was just like, when they're foregoing conclusions. I think the Sox won in six, maybe. But, okay, all that. If this was somebody's first championship, you're still going bananas when the clock hits zero.

Because it's your chance to do that. You have to do that. I guess. And you guys don't because you've done it a million times. The difference would be like, we know how we react when it wasn't a beat down so in this one you're kind of like we'll feel forced to get it absolutely whereas like it's like jason tatum looking for the reaction versus like you just when you're when you've never had a championship and it happens you're not going to just be like well it was a beat down so i'm not

gonna you know you're like this is we're gonna pop bottles, we're going to fucking jump and cry and all that shit because it's never happened. But to say my 12th championship was a lot better than my 8th. So it's not that the numbers don't get – it just depends on the situation. The number doesn't matter. It's situational. I can understand the situation. If the Bruins win next year, that'll be much better for me than obviously this. That'll be better for me than 2018.

I'll go more nuts than I did for 2018 Sox. I'll go more nuts. But that's also changing. Sports also matters depending on how much you're rooting for it. I just don't think you can recreate the city. It was was the curse the patriots were bums like it was it was it's it was an entire overhaul of like your identity at this point yeah to to an extent uh yeah but like it's it's very it's very it's very specific to the moment. Because again, the 2017 Super Bowl was a lot fucking better than

the 2004 Super Bowl for me. It was a lot better than 2013. Because that was like the deflate gate and all that shit. Yeah. I went crazier for that. It was a better game. That's also what's the craziest part about the Boston run

is that it's usually also extremely dramatic. It's not just like this. This is very rare. This is a beatdown from Game 1 of the NBA season. Not from Game 1 of the playoffs. Not from Game 1 of the series. It was Game 1 of the season.

Everyone just going. I mean, it's crazy for me. I probably watched seven games all year counting the playoffs. But I followed along on twitter i follow people who like the celtics and it seems like everyone just knew it no i know the opposite everyone's like this team sucks this team sucks while they just kept beating everyone by two they lost they won more games by 25 i think than they lost games that's crazy that is crazy. In the last, like, 30-something years, there's the 0-3 Pistons, the Kawhi Leonard Raptors,

and now these guys are the only teams to win a title with a roster that doesn't have an MVP or a defensive player of the year or a rookie of the year. Like, they have no hardware on the team. And now there's obviously a finals MVP. Despite being, though, I believe they were first in offensive efficiency and first in defensive efficiency. Yeah, they're just a very well-rounded team.

They're just a great team. Yeah. But to not, you know, like every, like for almost like 30 or 40 years, everybody has had almost an MVP, like every time. That's crazy. Yeah, it's nuts. Game time is the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. The Mets are one game out of the playoffs.

Grimace. We're in our Grimace era. So if you want to go see the Mets, you can do so. You want to go see the Yankees, who are absolutely going to win the World Series this year. I'm just resigned to the fact. You can go get tickets there. If you're going to go see your favorite comedian,

if you're going to go see Bruce Springsteen on tour for the 50th time, like Steve, you can do it because Game Time is the best outlet to get tickets to the next big event. It's fast and easy, and you can get tickets to sports, music, comedy, theaters. I'm scrolling the app right now t-pain is at asbury park at the stone pony this weekend um there t-pain was on our guest list i know if we can get t-pain here i would be very excited um t-pain at the boss's stomping grounds the stone pony is awesome merrily also former blackout yeah um uh we got uh Merrily, also former Blackout tour.

We got Merrily We Roll Along won Tony this past weekend. Best musical revival. It's fantastic. I've seen it. It's really good. Daniel Radcliffe, he won Best Actor in a Musical, perhaps. Jeremy Strong won Best Actor in Enemy of People. Pabs didn't like that one.

All of it, dude. And any sort of live ticketing event, Game Time has you covered. They have flash deals where there will be sudden discounts. They have zone deals for wherever you might be geographically. And they have the lowest price guarantee, which means if you find the same seat on a different outlet that's cheaper than Game Time, they will take the difference between the two tickets and give you 110 of that so you make an extra 10 on the money that uh that you're spending so uh the best place for the last minute tickets with up to 60 off your events so what are you waiting for uh go to game time now download the app use promo code kfc and get 20 off your first

purchase download the game time out today last Last minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. So you got your chance. Where will you put a dozen championship? Where will that rank? Dozen is really high. Honestly. Personally, it'd be pretty high. Dude, dude, doing like the dozen is obviously funny

because it's like the rest of the world won't care. But you're doing something. Yeah. As opposed to just sitting there and rooting for it. So it may be this silly fake work trivia league, but at this point it's something that's very important to like Barstool people and you are accomplishing it. So I'd rank it.

If I was you, I'd rank it over like, yeah, one of those middle Patriots, Superbowl, whatever, dude. Oh,

I think like that. I just met personally, I guess Carolina, like whatever, dude, it'll, it'll be, I'm'm I'm jacked up. I'm excited.

I do have to thank Jersey Jerry. And this isn't on some like I kept the receipt shit. I genuinely mean this. After the first match, I played terrible. And Jerry was just like, yeah, if White does something next match, maybe you'll do. Maybe you guys will win. And he was right. I played bad in the playoffs or the first match of the you'll do, maybe you guys will win. And he was right. I played bad. In the playoffs

or the first match of the season? In the playoffs. So after we beat XYZ, I played awful that match. Awful. And Jerry mentioned it in the post-game speech, post-game conference. And I was just like, he's right. I gotta fucking play better. I think the keeping the receipts stuff.

The dozen is crazy. The dozen is so funny. If you were to be, if you're like on a date and talking about it or something, people would be like, these people are such fucking losers. This is so insane. But it's awesome. It's well-earned. Obviously credit to Jeff and credit to the league. For everything I do here, it is probably the most positivity i get like

like every time i meet a fan in public like when i meet our own fans they're sometimes rude our own fans are the meanest like like every meet and greet there will be someone we're like what the fuck did you say that for? Dozen fans never want. Well, you also have like the team. Yeah, but they're very nice and it's a lot of fun. Yeah. But like that, I think that experience, like I don't think people go up to like the Minahan's team being like, you guys are so much fun to watch.

I think the Booze Ponies are the perfect blend of guys where it's like we want you to win you're fun to watch because i also think some people it's it's about winning at this point for sure but you still gotta put on a little bit of show and i think some teams forgot about that you guys always are fun well ours is just we're genuinely three dumb people and we're we're so surprised every time we get so excited i know that i know i was talking to jackie because we we were watching uh like the first round right before we were recording and they they it was like i came at watch teams but they just went bam bam bam bam like four or five six in a row back forth back forth back forth and i was like i just don't remember that or know that and these people in this league remember everything and and when i when i do get one right i'm like oh yeah but some of these

people just remember all of these sports stats draft picks names numbers like all of that and they're just like yeah i know that that's crazy yeah because to me all the questions are like how your day was yeah fine yeah like when i get them right it's still 90 of the time it's like a hail mary i'm very rarely i'm like bam i got the answer yeah and so when these teams just all of them know every single one i'm like how does your brain retain all of that i don't know if it's an age thing or if it's just you never – you either do or you don't do that. But I could see you guys, though, every time being like, oh, we got it. We got it right. But at this point, I think this is where you guys go from the lovable underdogs to the – come on.

You can't be surprised now. We're Taylor Swift. We're Taylor Swift winning our 25th Grammy. Every time, it was like so you guys probably started to think that too it makes sense that dana is a weird uh sports savant you know all pop culture entertainment will's gonna have a bunch of uh sports knowledge like that's what the dozen mostly is right it's a little bit of that and mostly skewed sports so does the the booze ponies make sense but that's why because i do love the dozen fans so much

and i love the team so much i'm genuinely heartbroken that i'm gonna have to zoom in well well if you win the championship john John, where will you be celebrating? I will be in Paris. Paris, France to celebrate. You'll be on the Champs-Élysées popping a bottle. And I want... I mean this dead seriously, genuinely. If this was a vacation,

I would move. In a heartbeat. Because I'm a single guy with no family. Who gives a fuck if I go to Paris this week or next? I'm going for a wedding. I'm going a single guy with no family. Who gives a fuck if I go to Paris this week or next? I'm going for a wedding. I'm going for a good friend's wedding. People have been... Did you feel it out with him?

What? To be like, maybe, what would happen if I didn't show up? No, no. There's not even an option? No, that's not an option. As much as I want the fans to be happy and like me, I want the people in my life to like me more but like if it was a like what level of friend would you skip their wedding i texted the booth

when i was like if it was a family wedding we're like it's like you know a cousin i don't really know that well or some shit i'd skip it in a heartbeat if it was a big wedding where i wouldn't be missed yeah i'd skip it in a heartbeat right if it was a one who i like i was like kind of friends with i'd skip it in a heartbeat i If it was a friend who I was kind of friends with, I'd skip it in a heartbeat. I was at the bachelor party. This is a pretty fucking... It's a small, intimate wedding. It's under 100 people.

I was on a bachelor party. I'd be missed. It's crazy. And people at the office were funny. Will, Dana, and Jeff were busting my balls. Because they obviously want me to stay. And I completely understand that. But they weren't doing it with any sincerity.

You're really going to go? There were some people like that. And I was like, does anyone know how to operate outside of these walls? I have a real friend who I'm not going to fucking let down. Dude, that's... I mean, looking back in 10 or 15 years or whatever,

being like, I missed a good friend's wedding in paris for my work trivially the wedding's actually an ouch a uch but i will be in paris at the time of uh the zoom yeah there are people here i mean it consumes their life as as they know it like nothing else matters that's crazy and i i i try i truly tried my best jeff tried his best there is just no way i can be in chicago thursday night until 10 o'clock 11 o'clock the flights don't get out after until maybe we should charter that pj for you dana texted me this morning like if i can crowdsource with pj can i can you stay i was like yeah absolutely uh how much does a pj cost well for a nine hour flight because that would

have because the pj would take me to near ouch not near paris because i missed the train and shit um i would imagine i don't know over 100 grand yeah that's too much um i have no idea how much those things cost so if it was somewhat within reason, I would... Yeah, long jet range, $120,000. The VIP airliner starts at $280,000. For just one flight? God damn. I remember seeing a Chrissy Teigen tweet where she was going to Japan from LA.

And she was flying commercial. And everyone was like, why are you flying commercial and everyone's like why are you flying commercial she's like do you know how expensive it is to fly private internationally people don't they never have even seen that you know price uh if it was like 25 grand or something like that we would get this can't be thrown around 120 000 for a flight right it's it's now if dave wants the dozen to be the best product possible you know maybe you should think about it it is um it's very devastating it will honestly like but we all say you can't i can't be there thursday night and in our saturday afternoon it does like it can't there's just no no way we i look at other people look, so you know I'm not just kind of skipping out.

Other people look. There's no way to get me to both places, and I can't miss my wedding. I'd be a truly bad person. Could you imagine telling them, like, I got a work thing? Right. And they're like, oh, wow, what is it? Tom Brady's joining Barstool or something? It's like, oh, wow, what is it? Tom Brady's joining Barstool or something? It's like, oh, it's my Trivial League.

I hope people understand that. I will be there on Zoom. But you know what? Zoom, you lose a little bit for sure, but it also adds this wrinkle of like, let's say, God willing, you guys do win. You'll be alone. At what time will it be? By the time the matches, both matches are done, by 5.30 in the morning, you guys do win. You'll be alone. At what time will it be? By the time the match is done.

By 5.30 in the morning, 6 in the morning. 5.30 in the morning in a Parisian hotel. Screaming at your lungs. There's going to be somebody who's just hearing through the walls, like, fucking boot, buddy. Let's fucking go. So funny, man. was just hearing through the walls like fucking boot police let's fucking go so funny man it is now but like how is that going to work with like there's times when you can kind of huddle up yeah you can't do that i can't do it we you know we there's not too much huddling that gets done

could there be like headphones or something that i don't know i i thought maybe i can text them but i completely understand the implications of that if i'm'm on my phone, people would think I'm Googling stuff. So I don't know. Maybe I'll just say stuff out loud. I don't know. You should send a dozen representative with you to sit in the room and make sure you're not cheating. Now we're flying two people to Paris. That's not a bad idea.

Send someone. Because you can get – it would have to be someone who's willing to fly. Send one of these question writers. You know, Jeff has his team. I'll put that out there. I will absolutely allow a dozen question person to sit in my room with me if I can text them my thoughts. No, if it wasn't Paris, I remember Howie Mandel has that hologram machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a good idea. I've been talking to the creator of that. It's called like ProtoGram. And they have figured it out a way where there's no lagging and it's in a box where you can like stand there and it looks fucking real. But I don't think they have a setup in Paris. But if it was like New York to LA,

I think we could have done it and I was going to try to get the box set up just to the left of your fucking podium and you would just be there. That would have been awesome. That was a good idea. I'll text him and be like, you don't happen to have something in Paris

like right now, do you? But that would have been cool. If Hologram Fights wins a championship, oh man, it would be amazing. So yeah, we'll see. Now, who are you going to face? You don't know yet? We face Uptown Balls, first of all, who I believe waxed us this year.

They're good. That's former champions, right? Former MVP, Tommy, Glennie, and Smitty. Smitty. That was a funny moment in our final match when I – no I we didn't know an answer for a football question so we phoned a friend and we just panicked looking out in the crowd and we chose Tommy

for like a 2004 maybe 2006 I forget see this is why people like the Boots boys wide receiver drafted Tommy walked out and he's like why did you pick me I have no idea was ken jack's phone a friend sabotage on purpose i don't think so i don't i don't think so i don't know because that that i was like that's jessica yeah yeah

that one i heard alba and went they got it and then oh really but then i took a beat and was like wait no it's beal, Beal, Beal. It is possible because it's the Jessicas. But I thought Ken Jack was on his bullshit again. But it is, I mean, like, the dozen is I mean, I don't think I even told you this. In the first match, I wouldn't have gotten a question unless Will

got me started. Law-abiding citizen. You almost missed law-abiding citizen. The question was phrased incorrectly but that didn't matter to be totally honest that didn't matter to me I saw Gerard Butler, I saw Jamie Foxx, I knew what movie it was I just, I couldn't, I didn't have a guess

I was like I know, I'm playing the movie in my head right now, I don't have a guess and then what did Will say to get you going he's like it's like a lawyer, law, law law-abiding citizen, law-abiding citizen that's why you do need the teammates aspect because you can get kick-started. But when KB and Nick were like – I don't know.

I want to talk to Ken Jack about that. That felt like another sabotage. So I was just listening to the episode where Jackie was talking about how the cop made her tell her mom what was happening at the makeout point and how he was pretty much a perv standing there and listening. So I have a story that that reminded me of. I was 16 years old in the gym overflow parking lot because that was our spot at the time with my boyfriend. And a cop knocked on our window and my boyfriend jumped into the front seat and grabbed all of our clothing. So I was completely naked, pussy out, tits out. I had to cover myself with my Algebra 2 textbook and rolled in the window and pretty much just said, hey, officer, like, how are you doing?

And he pretty much because my boyfriend was older he made sure that i was safe um and that this was consensual um and then we went home and i've i'm scarred for life now this adult man has seen my 16 year old tits and um i still see him from time to time around town so that's really fun there's a reason i guess my question is like what is the most compromising position that you've been found in there's a reason why she remembered algebra 2 like that that that is that whole scene is gonna be burned into your brain for the rest of your life when you're a girl and someone like walks in on you naked what do you cover you go both you got to go one hand over the next if you had a book what do you what are you going i think if you're

sitting in a car you could kind of do both. I would I would always cover tits. Well I think you can kind of cross your legs and cover tits. Yeah. I don't think I've had that other than the cop thing. I guess I go. Guys don't have to decide.

Our nipples are fine and your nipples are forbidden. I feel like even our nipples are fine now your nipples are forbidden. I feel like even our nipples are fine now. The nips out. Yeah, it's definitely, you know. I mean, you can't. I don't know. You can't just go walk around with your nips out.

But you can kind of go walking around with your nips out. Depends on the situation. Most compromising. I mean, I haven't caught jerking off before but like not caught caught like like you like throw a blanket over but like everyone it's not it's like i've never been caught like cranking it but everybody knows what was going on one second before you walked in there right yeah i had that i had sex on a futon once when people someone was on it and he he was just like like halfway through sex he's like do you guys think I don't know you're having sex right now?

He was awake watching TV. It was like the morning. It was a share house where we woke up in the morning. He had slept in a bed, woke it up, got some coffee. We were sleeping on a futon, so we just sat on that. And he was just like, what are you doing? I guess that's not really caught. That's like trying to be sneaky, understanding full well.

I guess that's what caught is. But again, we got started. He was already sitting down. My most compromising position is Gaz getting his dick sucked. It's not me. It's me being forced to endure him being in a compromised situation i remember getting i got head once on the on an arrow bed uh and like uh it's like a post-college weekend we're all like couples and people all got together and i'm just like i would never do that like, like people laying all around. Yeah. You know? And it's just like,

did I have to get my dicks up right then and there? Like, whatever. Maybe I'm old and washed and there's no spark or flame anymore, but it's like, can you just not get one blow job right fucking now in front of a bunch of people who, you know,

you're basically like I raping. Maybe we got away with it, but why? My high school girlfriend had a little brother. And he was throwing stuff at her bedroom door to like knock against it to be like, I can hear you. Really? So that was weird. at her bedroom door to like like knock against it to be like i can hear you really yeah so that was weird i was like he was old enough to know what was going on and i was young and like i had to like talk to him you know like give him like a talk i was like you're like five years younger than me the fuck man. I don't...

Yeah, I don't think I've ever been caught in a compromising position, ever. Well, not ever. I've been caught in a lot of compromising positions.

What about you guys? You've been arrested? Have I ever been arrested? Oh, in Mexico. Well, I wasn't arrested. I ran from the cops. I told you that before. Oh, yeah.

You did? My friends were pissing. We were all pissing. Oh, I wasn't arrested. I ran from the cops. I told you that before. My friends were pissing. We were all pissing. Oh, yeah. You need to try to hold on to that one. And then, well, I didn't get arrested this time, but my buddy got pulled over

coming home, driving home, senior year, and then we ended up drunk. Or he had like two shots. I didn't know it. And then the cop brought us home home and then my dad came down in his underwear i thought i was gonna get away with it too so i was like walking in so like quietly and then the cop just came like out of the car and like banged on the door to make sure my friends once uh like did some Grand Theft Auto, like, hide until the stars go away. They, he, I think it was, like, drunk driving or speeding. Well, they were definitely drunk, whatever it was.

And they, like, saw the lights go off and they, like, made a turn and a turn and then, like, pulled off into, like, a, into, like, they parked it and got out of the car and laid like in a little like in a little grassy area and they waited like he kind of went back and forth a couple times and then gave up we did that once throwing snowballs at cars and we hid in the bushes of a house or hid

behind the bushes you know what I mean like in their yard kind of like the hedges or whatever yeah and uh and then the owner of the house came out and it was the sheriff oh behind the bushes. You know what I mean? Like in their yard, kind of like the hedges or whatever. Yeah. And, uh, and then the owner of the house came out and it was the sheriff. Oh, you picked the wrong. He was like,

you guys know I'm the sheriff, right? And I actually did. I knew it was sheriff Tom Hodgson. Um, you did it anyway. I didn't know. Like once I saw him,

I was like, fuck this guy named sheriff's house. Um, but, uh, he's actually the sheriff who, uh, I believe announced that Aaron Hernandez died. It's at least I was like, fuck, this is the goddamn sheriff's house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's actually the sheriff who, I believe, announced that Aaron Hernandez died. At least he was in. Famous.

He definitely did press conferences about Aaron Hernandez. Bristol County. But, yeah, I forget. Speaking of the opposite of compromising permissions, I thought that was cool. She was painting. I liked that. A painting looked nice. I do like it, but she painted, like, one stroke and then stopped. Yeah, that was cool. She was painting? I like that. A painting looked nice. I do like it, but she painted like one stroke and then stopped.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but the ballet... That looks like I'm gonna make it look like I painted this thing, but I didn't. She painted one stroke and I think it was already painted. I think she painted over it. That would be cool, though. If you don't want to show your face, show yourself doing some sort of skill

That line's already painted I like that painting though I like the colors I don't really know what it is It's probably a printed fucking tablecloth No That's what it is You don't have paintbrushes

The rest of it's all perfectly dry While she puts her hand on it You don't have paintbrushes that thin If you're not doing painting I have paintbrushes that thin In fucking shades Doing painting Yeah She's doing the painting um the uh i forget passes did something that reminded me of something i said earlier um this is just a complete aside we had to do

like a talk with the interns the other day and right ice cream show ice cream social ice cream social and they're having like people come in and give like talks or whatever and it was me keegs and pat and right before it kim who's the head of people was like so you guys just to give a little speech and i'm like i don't have a speech like we i i thought also like i could see pat being like what the fuck do you want? That was not. Keegs will talk.

I would not pick the other two guys to give a speech to the kids. But someone asked a question. So anyway, we got in there. We don't really have anything to say. You guys ask questions. Enjoy the ice cream. Let's talk. I thought we were beyond this.

I thought we were beyond this. I thought we put an end to these things. But someone asked a question. I forget exactly how they phrased it, but it was something along the lines of, like, how do you deal with work-life balance in this career, in this profession? And, you know, how do you deal with comments and all that kind of shit? And I explained you have to kind of learn who you are as a person. Like, some people love hate and love getting booed and all that kind of shit and i explained you have to kind of learn who you are as a person like some people love hate and love getting booed and all that stuff some people can take criticism some people can't i was like i it took me a long time but i figured out all that shit and and i was like as for like i was like you just gotta like find the little moments

and and just like really hold on to them like every night at 1030 I just get so happy for a minute and I thought I was saying something like that's a good thing like that's nice and everyone was like Jesus Christ every day for 60 seconds

I'm happy bro those kids those kids were probably like, I quit. I fucking quit right now. I honestly meant it as like earn it like wholesomely as I can. We're like, hey, you got it. Like there's going to be these little like little moments and just like hold on to those. My God, John. And it's 100% true.

It's not that like 1030 happens and I I look at the clock and now I'm happy. I get happy. I get a fleet. And honestly, I would say I'm generally happy right now. I'm pretty more happy than I've probably been in like 20 years. And it's still at 10.30. There's a difference. You've had two pints of ice cream, three ice pops, and a bunch of cookies.

That's what it is. No, it's a difference. You've had two pints of ice cream, three ice pops, and a bunch of cookies. That's what it is. No, it's before I start snacking. Well, you're about to then. Your body knows what's coming. Let's go. I'm always like, I just get this rush, and I'm like, oh, man, I'm happy. And every time I look at the phone, it's like 1028, 1032. It's like always at 1030.

I mean, there probably literally is something then, though, about the levels of food or whatever going on in your body that if it's the same time every time, that's fucking so depressing. Even geeks are like, what the fuck, dude? I have

seven minutes of happiness a week. Out of hundreds of hours. It's a pretty good gig, guys. I do love sometimes, I feel like everybody kind of comes here a little bit bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and then they see the real of it, and they're like, Jesus Christ. And I'm like, what do you think, we're lying? We're not hiding hiding it it's not like we come on these shows and we're like it's fucking

great and we're so happy like this is fucking terrible and then people get here and within six months like this is fucking terrible i told you how are you do you still have uh how did you come into this like we've definitely had and it's usually more females that come in but we've definitely had people come in who are like jackie did it ellie schnitt before her did it like i'm gonna like change you guys i'm gonna like get you guys to be like happy and positive and then like within six months they're just like you know zombies behind us everybody's life like time to be easier all right oh yeah you were in the room the whole time yeah what did you think when i said that come here as the soundbite it doesn't sound great but like what do you think you tape your mouth shut then

a 10-3 you get really happy but when you do the whole answer is actually a really good answer i thought you crushed it by the way you were really good answer. And I thought, you crushed it, by the way. You were really good at it. There was a lot of questions, and you faced them well. Was there anything else that stood out? There was one kid who the first question was, have you always – he asked Pat, have you always been buying clicks? Did you just start that now? Keegs stepped in right away and was like, what's your name? There's always one intern that tries to be funny.

That was tough. I think he said that after Keegs stepped in right away and was like, what's your name? There's always one intern that tries to be funny. That was tough. I think he said that after Keegs had said that. It was like some of the lines. Don't try too hard. You're meeting any group of friends. Wait. Feel it out. Don't come in like you're the star.

Next question is like, Pat, you always buy clicks? And it was like, oof, dude. Keeg's asking his name. I don't know. I remember it. What did she say? She was like, what's your name? And then I think she gave him a pat on the back on the way out. It was like, oh, now we've come to the other side where that was too mean.

Because that kid's got to think about that all the fucking time. And a callback later in the intern ice cream social back to that kid like 15 minutes later. Yo, Kelly went nuts on Tate, huh? Dude, you know what sucks? She said, I would kill you right now if I could. Holy fuck. It doesn't suck because I would be awkward if I was there. But like 10 minutes before that happened, me, Will, Clemmer, and Marty went to lunch.

And as I was walking out, I was like, Keegs, you hungry? And she said, just eating or whatever. So we walked out. We had a great lunch. Jimmy Johns, everyone was just guys having a good time. No one looked at their phones the whole time. We walked back in the office.

Everyone's like, dude, did you see that? It was like a massacre. Why didn't Keegs tell me there was going to be a fucking bloodbath? Obviously, no one looked at their phones the whole time we walked back in the office everyone's like do you see that massacre why didn't keith tell me it was gonna be a fucking bloodbath yeah obviously no one knew well wait let me just back up one second nobody was uh looking at their phones because they were watching that ghoul clemmer eat a sandwich like a fucking pigeon like it's like a duck like being fed at the park right so he he opens it up, takes a knife, and cuts the lunch meat, puts it in his mouth, and then rips the bread and puts that in his mouth? Yeah, sometimes he'll pick up the bread and take a little nibble. That's literally like you're a duck being fed at the pond. And you can see, this is the most clever video ever because he knows he's being videotaped.

He knows what he's doing is weird. And then he drops the food on his lap and he tries to hide it and chant hide it and he's like i know i know i know i know i know i mean this is insane and he knows it he keeps saying i know i know i know but it's like this is so nuts and i thought at first it was like he's like on atkins or cutting carbs or something this is what he does all the time all the time he actually had said what are you doing like tomatoes and lettuce he just doesn't do that or something i don't know he does all the time. All the time. He actually had said on the stream. What do you do with tomatoes and lettuce? Does he do that or something? I don't know the answer to that. Because that just feels like he's eating turkey and bread.

Yeah. That might have, like, I think it has mustard on it. But you're not going to get anything else. It's like, it's actually funny. I ended up having lunch with him that day because he had been explaining this on the Celtics stream the night before that he doesn't eat anything enclosed he doesn't eat ravioli he doesn't eat

he wants to know what's going in his mouth a quesadilla he'd explain until open and he'd open faced but is it because he doesn't know what's going on I think he has to know you know what it is

everyone's a throw away but he he had exceptions to the rule that didn't really make a ton of sense like he likes a gusher and i was like that's the ultimate like weird shitty on the inside and then he said that he said that was um was it he's fine eating that because that's mass-produced and everyone's the same. And I was like, well, by that logic, you should be able to eat Chef Boyardee ravioli. And he disagreed with that. And he said it's a texture thing. It's very peculiar.

I was going to say, just say I'm weird. Yeah. Like, is anyone shocked? No. Love Clemmer. Is anyone shocked that he does some weird shit? Yeah. Although a real great moment with Clemmer right before we went to lunch was during the yak.

I don't know what set this off, but Brandon came up and just started asshole, asshole pointing at Clemmer and trying to get the whole floor to do it. I know what you're saying. And Clemmer, me, and Will were talking. I don't know if Marty was there yet. Because of this? No, this was before this. It was before we went to lunch.

I wasn't listening to the act, so I don't know what got them to do that. When he came up, me and Will were kind of surprised. I think everyone was kind of surprised, but me and Will were sitting right there. so no one joined in and then it flipped we all flipped it we took an asshole asshole at brandon that's great clever has a little celebration it's very funny is one of my favorite people to come through here in years yeah years i fucking love clemmer um uh yeah but but kelly and and tate finally had it out

and uh i only watched clips so i don't know there was no clips of tate replying but kelly was fucking ripping dude the i still haven't gone back to watch it kelly should get cast in like like in a role. If I was ever writing a movie or a show or something and you just need a quick scene, like angry girlfriend or scorned wife or fight in the boardroom or something. Buddy, go through the Out of Order episodes.

Keegs has played a lot of parts. There's one part she's played more than most. That's funny. The Age of Elegance was great, by the way. Great accent. Really? Yeah. Oh, I disagree with that.

I think it was a great accent. Yeah. All around. But if we said right, I think there's two Johns now. It's like Loki. there's two johns now we we it's like it's like loki like there's two like two variants like if i told you right now to do like a british accent i don't think you could do it but i think when you're in out of order mode you can do it i think you i think you have like two to like a left and a right brain at this point and you are uh like when you're in it in one setting you're one way and in a different setting you're in another way which

i i think that probably actually literally does happen because that's how life works. But even the voiceover, I was like, this is a good British accent. Well, thank you. I have no idea how to do a British accent. I don't know what. Or whatever. It's a good accent. I'm sure people in England are going to be like, that's actually Cockney or some bullshit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't fucking know. It sounds not American. Watching a British movie and being like, that's not from Liverpool. That's Cockney. That's not Scouse. That's Cockney. Although I do imagine if you just tried to lump American together, the South sounds different

than the North. It sounds different than this and that. So I can understand that. But also it's like, yeah, I don't fucking know, man. That was a great skit. Yeah, that was one of my favorites. That was funny, yeah. Your reaction, you're just a very good actor because it sounds genuine.

You sounded like a guy being like, yeah, no wonder we didn't get it. He's wearing a fucking beanie. It sounds so natural that clip in particular when he we watched that does it say i ate all the pussy who ate all the pussy yeah he's wearing a hat he says who ate all the it's so good when he comes out because we had we had been editing and by we i mean i sit there and i watch pazz and owen um but the i we'd seen that clip 200 times on Sunday and every single

time it got a laugh out loud hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water

hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water

hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water

hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water

hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water

hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water

hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water

hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water hands off my water It's so funny. So good. KV's so goddamn funny. But yeah, that was fun. Back to voiceover. Johnny Boy's been getting a little sauce. In the can, baby. You want to take a hit of this? Can, social tonics. The blood orange cardamom, dude. That's my shit.

It's THC infused seltzers. Seltzers have been the rage right but it's always been alcohol and some people don't like to drink some people are over it but now you can get a little buzz on get a little high with your drink it's like mashing the best of both worlds together can has five simple clean ingredients uh including anywhere from two to five milligrams of thc they don't have all these extras in there and weird preservatives and synthetic highs it's thc with the flavoring and the seltzer and it creates an award-winning drink it's to me look like getting high off a drink is living in the future yeah that's like

flying cars it's like we made it man uh so you can get a variety of flavors blood blood orange cardamom that's the one lemon lavender also the one grapefruit rosemary i don't think i've had that one and uh anywhere from two to five milligrams of the thc so head over to drink can that's drink c-a-n-n dot com use code KFC20 for 20% off your order and you get a free roadie six pack sampler with all the different flavors. This is great if you don't like drinking anymore. This is great if you

don't want to be drunk but you still want to get some sort of a high. It really is perfect for people like my age. Can is not for people like my age. Can is not for use or purchased by persons under the age of 21, and can products contain less than 0.3% Delta-9 THC that is derived from hemp.

Do not claim to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, and have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA. What's up, everybody? I was listening to the pod the other day when you guys were talking about the cricket team and how they're made up of just guys that do Uber and IT and shit. And it got me thinking about the World Baseball Classic and the teams that don't have major baseball leagues and how they're just like realtors and auditors and shit like that. And it got me thinking, if you could put together a team of any sport

of a certain profession what would it be like what sport and what line of work well that's a good question what first thing comes to mind for me is like an offensive line of blue collar union workers yeah i think it'll be pretty sweet what do do you think is the most athletic profession that's not a sport? It's funny because you would think guys like you and your construction guys would be strong, but you've seen them. They're out of shape. They're not athletic. See, there's like a...

You need like a... Coal miner? I was going to say like a lumberjack. I was going to say... Farmer? I was going to say... I wasn't going to say lumberjack, but I think that's the word for what I was going to say. Woodsman?

Yeah, I was going to say like a... Kevin, you love your lumberjacks. I do love lumberjacks. I do love lumberjacks. I think I have a fetish. I was going to say like a log cutter, which is a Lumberjack. Yeah. And I was going to say that only because it is the highest death rate of professions.

I would imagine that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, but this isn't a per capita. Rock climbers. Rock climbing instructors. Yeah, but that's weird. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Rock climbing instructors. Yeah, but that's... Yeah, that's true. Honestly, probably a pretty good answer

would be Wall Street. I know. You know what? I was going to say doctors. Doctors? No, but like Wall Street, there's too many... Doctors also have too many completely non-athletic people. Yeah, but I'm thinking of the same thing with lawyers. Anything, yeah. But I'm thinking of like, you know, same thing with like lawyer. Like anything I think where you're – where you like make a lot of money, I think a lot of people also get in shape.

Yeah. But that's also different than athletic. Like where – what job – it probably is like Wall Street or like – you know what it is? It's like, you know, every girl is in PR. Every guy sells insurance. Yeah. And there are guys who are like, I played sports in school. I'm kind of smart, but I'm not like Ivy League, so I'm not going to be like a trader.

But I want to do something in finance, so I'm going to sell insurance. Those guys all played like sports in school. Yeah. Real estate guys, too. Real estate. Yeah. It's like the kind of made-up jobs where it's like. Enterprise rent-a-car.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. They have a thing for college athletes. I know. I was going to say. We were actually talking about this at lunch yesterday. So we walked in, and me and Will were both like, damn, that looks good. And it was just the biggest sandwich they happened to be advertising.

And Will ended up getting it. I got something different and we were sitting down and i think it was clem was making fun of me will and marty because just advertising works on us yeah yeah i think will say or marty said like someone's like babe what are you on for dinner i don't know let's turn on the tv see what commercial comes on no we'll say that we'll say that um but um the um the yeah commercials work on me so as far as i'm concerned enterprise rent-a-car is made up exclusively of former athletes because like every it's all like yeah enterprise rent-a-car right we give you tools to create your own career right

what and what sport would it be i think you got to pick it's probably basketball just out of everybody plays basketball play basketball yeah but if you pick like soccer you could probably find a job of people who can like run really well yeah so you could specify it but if you're going broad i think you go basketball and it's one of the insurance the things are so they're so if we're going by a median there's every every thing has so many bad athletes in it too yeah well i would say like high paying jobs obviously have because you have former athletes that's where they go they go to yeah i think and i think it's also like people who you know you get a membership to a gym and you you know spend your money on you eat right or you you know trainers

all that sort of shit so it's also not poor people honestly you know what crazy answer is and again there's so many bad ones but podcasting a lot of the best athletes in the world oh yeah yeah yeah yeah now not not when we were first doing it but now it's like yeah you get a bunch of former professional basketball players right now if you just say former athletes you get hall of fame basketball player former current podcasters you get hall of fame basketball players kfc and the gang what's up by the way kfc you've been looking good lately anyways so we're at mine solid voicemail of the month four feet long three feet wide from my evicted neighbor's trash pile. Wait, sorry.

Solid wood dining table. Four feet long, three feet wide from my evicted neighbor's trash pile. And, like, my husband thinks that's gross. You know, we clean it off with Clorox. I'm not supposed to tell my mother-in-law. And that's kind of the end of that conversation. Besides the fact that my vacuum is also from that trash pile. And that got me thinking.

Going through all of my evicted neighbor's trash piles is like kind of low on my white trash list. I would say the fact that I enjoy ice cubes in my wine is probably up there. You know, the fact that I have hosted several couch fires is probably up there. You know, the fact that I have hosted several couch fires is probably up there. I love this girl. The top is that I just got internet two years ago. I am a graphic designer. Most of the stuff like runs on your hard drive. So every time I need to descend something, I just drive down to McDonald's like four or five times a day and be pop boot. There's your email. This girl is so from us you know

like that's that's four where's the top fives like what's your top five trashiest things about you um so yeah let's hear them this actually is voicemail of the month i'll give this girl i'll give this girl the money the um i mean that's the couch fire is a pretty dead giveaway but i probably would have gotten there even without that. I mean, not having internet is fucking insane. I used to go to McDonald's to use the internet after COVID. That's some shit you did before 9-11. You're like three tragedies late on buying your own internet.

Bro, couch fires and not having internet is west virginia for sure um i do so much white trash stuff that i can't even it's a very hard thing to to like like i i when i do it i usually send pictures of of my behavior to pat um. Pat and I are the most white trash. This is, I mean, you could go through our R.E. Garbage episodes and you could find them. But the... I don't know if I'm going to give...

This was their biggest one with me when I loved Fast and Furious. I don't know. I don't know if I'm giving that white trash. Movie makes a billion dollars a year, dude. It's not. It's too. It's gone.

It used to be. It used to be. Probably like up until like five, it used to be. Yeah. It was more like. Fast One was a worldwide phenomenon. That wasn't white trash either. When you get into the Bow Wow in Tokyo Drift, which everyone loves. That's not for me.

Family's not in it. It's a little meathead. I can understand the angle that they're playing, but it's not truly white trash. Right. White trash is a different, you know. White trash is like, that's like a guilty pleasure for some people. White trash is like your behavior. You're gross behavior you know um uh one thing that would be white trash is if i skip my friend's wedding um the uh i don't know i have a calf tattoo that's pretty white trash um yeah but you have

a lot of other tattoos now yeah so it kind of like if you have like just a calf tattoo you see steve-o with the dick on his forehead that can't be real uh i think it's real but it's like not the most like best ink or something scrub it out like uh postman's using a gun that doesn't have like a cord it's like a wireless okay and i i think that means it's like a light i'm sure he can like wipe that off after like a couple years or something like that i think it's like pretty pretty yeah steve-o i we've we've talked a few times i didn't realize we were still doing although honestly you know what it's funny he's been on the show being like i do dilaudid while i ride a bike and i was like steve-o's

doing great so so he posted it and you know i don't know if it's because he's 50 uh or what but the comments were like, come on, man. You've got to be kidding me with this. That one was a bit of a bridge too far for me too. I saw it and I was like, ugh. And then the wave was what you just said. People being like, this is where we're drawing the line? But there is something to be said for like what he used to do.

Like anybody can get a dick on their forehead. Yeah. His other stunts are shit that not everybody else can do. Some of them are. It's like I can put a fucking race car at my asshole too. Yeah. I think. I don't know.

But it used to be like I'll get in this shark tank. I will run across this lake with alligators. I'll electrocute myself. I'll do. It's almost like stunts. And this is just like a. I got a dick on my face. I like that. I thought it was funny justts. And this is just like a – I got a dick on my face. I like that.

I thought it was funny just because I think he said something like, I will never get a tattoo on my face. And then the one he did was a dick. But I do think that's going to be like a short, short – like a couple years. I mean that's still – I don't know. I share the – You can't go anywhere and have like any conversations with anybody without being like – It's also just like all the stuff he ever did – I can't say all of it, but most of his good stuff affected him.

Yeah. This is like it affects like people you're talking to. Well, I don't – I mean it affects me and then I'm just looking at the dick on your forehead. Yeah, but what if you're talking to a kid? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of places you're in public talking to people. There could be – tomorrow it could come out and he wipes it off. He's like, yeah, I can't.

I'm like a sex offender. But also, would you be surprised if – I can see both sides of it. Would you be surprised a lot? I wouldn't be surprised if he wiped it off and was like i can see both sides of it we did he spread a lot i i i wouldn't be surprised if he wiped it off and was like come on guys that would be fucking crazy you know but i can also see him be like yeah yeah permanent he doesn't like kids he's not gonna have kids very famously talked to him about that for like two hours um so maybe he's just like yeah i got a dick on my face um But it was funny watching Post Malone do it. How about this?

If you were to tattoo a dick on my face, where would you start? How would you draw it? Like on the dick or on your face? How would you draw the dick on my face? I'd probably start here, there, balls. Yeah, he started with the balls. That's crazy. No, I should say it was at the instruction of Steve-O. started with the balls that's crazy no and i should say it was at the

instruction of steve it started the ball you're drawing a dick you do not start at the ball you start the shaft go to the head come down and then you do the balls starting at the balls is crazy no that's a good observation right yeah see right. Yeah. See that? So that gun, and like, if you turn the volume on, there's not like, it's not like... So I think this is like a little bit of a... Oh, you okay? No. Look at... How's that feel?

That was great. It feels more like a toothbrush, electric toothbrush, like... Yeah, I can't even hear it. You're smiling. That's good. I mean, it seems very legit now. I'd only seen the picture. It definitely seems like I'm watching someone get a tattoo.

Crazy. Then I came back here to the Radical Ranch where I just couldn't sleep because I was like, oh my god, what happened? I had to leave for a triathlon. It's strange that that was, for a lot of people, like, ugh. It just hit different. Not like I drank my own enema water or something like that.

Yeah, I mean, I've seen Steve-O do a bunch of stuff. Some of it I went, ugh. But most of it I was like, ha, ha, ha, ha. This one, mm. Yeah, you really can't talk to any kid ever again. Yeah. Anyway anyway back to the white trash what do you guys have i mean my food is white trash yeah that's my biggest is the cranberry and like you know all the like the snacks i have entomans i eat gas station food

not food i eat gas gas station snacks i do think that's a bridge too far with white trash if you eat like taquitos from the gas station that's fucking done that once yeah that's that's bad um i'm i'm super white trash like when i come to work i'll put on like regular clothes but like on the weekends i'm like it started out kind of as like dad clothes and now it's just gone like white trash clothes like i'll run out to do like if i'm going out I'll put on clothes but if I'm running out to like just grab a slice of pizza do it run an errand grab milk or whatever I'll be in like you would see me and be like that you look like garbage like did you did you take your neighbor's trash pile of clothes the other day I I was going to pick up the kids and i get

in the car and the only reason i saw it was because like i you know see my legs and i had bleach stains and like a hole in it and i was like i can't do this i got i went back in and changed my clothes but like if i was going somewhere in public like that if i would have been like whatever bleach stains and and holes in my sweatpants, whatever, dude. My living situation is definitely white trash. Yeah. Just like, yeah. Your West Village apartment?

Yeah. Within there. It's not the address. It's when you go inside of it. It's much like John. It's like, he's not white trash when you go inside of him he is you know his family and everything is all put together and then he yeah like just like just like the fact that there's a couch there's like no it's complimentary

it's very much like the the meme like this is a guy's living situation it's just a couch in front of a tv yep some trash bunch of paintings have been on the floor for like three years what's the worst apart guy apartment you've ever been in um like i mean back in fraternity no no i was gonna say not including college because that's like like like adults have you seen any bad ones um there was one where like the guy had like it was like pictures of like albums that were framed and it was like drake uh um it was i forget what the combo was it was the worst possible it was like drake drake uh like skizzy Mars or something.

I remember being like, oh my god, I have to get out of here. Yeah, that is, I'm out. Yeah. Speaking of my living situation, family of turkeys. Yeah, what's that? You texted me the other day. What do I mean? I mean I've got 12 fucking turkeys living in my yard.

And that's good, right? I don't know. I don't like turkeys. Why? They creep me out. Turkeys creep me out. You ever fucking see them, man? Yeah.

They got the... Yeah. They're gross. They're a little pussy? Yeah. They got a pussy mouth thing. Like, if it was like a... Damn, my turkeys got good in that.

Disgusting. So, the adult turkeys, I don't like. But they had 10 little turkeys, little turklings with them. I was like, how the fuck did they get here? Turkeys can't fly, right? Like, they can't fly, like, long distances. No, I don't think so. And then how the fuck did these little turkeys, like, were hopping along the street to get to my yard. I don't know. You were there.

That road is like... It's not like a major road, but I'm not right next to a river or something. You've got a lot of woods around you. Yeah. I guess they're just living in... I think they're just living there. I thought they were just passing through.

They were there this morning. I think I just got a family of turkeys now. I got to name these turkeys. They went into the tennis court, and they got trapped, and they were just running in circles. So I was like, welcome. But I'm also like, yo, there's a ton of deer, and then I see foxes, and there's a coyote,

and there's a hawk or maybe a falcon or something. I'm like, you better watch out. You and your family are going to get fucking murked. There's a zoo back here and there's a hawk or maybe a falcon or something. I'm like, you better watch out. You and your family are going to get fucking murked. There's a zoo back here. Survival of the fittest. So the big turkeys, I don't like them. But then all these little turkeys popped up out of the – my lawn is long right now, so they were kind of like in the grass, and they popped up, and it was just a bunch of little turkeys.

And it's like, yeah, it is a good thing, but I'm also just so not used to it. I'm just like, I live in a zoo now. I never grew up around anything like that, so I'm just like, I don't know. I'm going to be getting in my car one day and get attacked by a fucking turkey. They're not nice. Turkeys are not nice. That's the other thing.

If it was like a peacock showed up or something, that'd be cool, but turkeys, if you get near them, they fucking attack you. Really? So I'm like, you can live here. Just kill them and eat them. I was thinking about that. Somebody DMed me and was like, I'll bring you my shotgun.

Imagine if I was just like, eradicated this family of turkeys. It would be crazy. All right. We good? would be crazy. All right. We good? Good. Cool. All right. That's the episode.

We'll see you next week. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.