KFC Radio - Kate Middleton Conspiracies Are Running WILD - Full Episode Ft. Donnell Rawlings

Episode Date: March 19, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 08:28 Women are trying to sabotage men 10:46 Jackie Karaoked with a homeless man 41:14 What food has the least amount of sex appeal? 01:01:05 Kate Middleton Conspiracies are going wild 01:03:44 Photoshopped photo of Kate Middleton: https://www.instagram.com/p/C4U_IqTNaqU/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=87bc4af6-9fe4-4f36-87cf-050c53f788e2 01:07:08 Kate Middleton photoshopped photo vs vogue: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13186213/Palace-Kate-Middleton-photo-conspiracy-theories-William-Mothers-day.html 01:17:52 Feits cracked the tipping code 01:24:41 Taylor Swift and Bruno Mars 01:24:59 Taylor looking 9 feet tall: https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=5471e4d8c457d32d&q=bruno+mars+height&tbm=isch&source=lnms&prmd=ihvnsmbtz&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=2ahUKEwjluZnHhv-EAxX6D1kFHRRIBVIQ0pQJegQIDBAB&biw=1912&bih=892&dpr=2#imgrc=jmUp6KU2T_FMSM&imgdii=TCG7bq2ZIyZ48M 01:35:17 KFC and his eyebrow journey 01:43:00 Feits' Cereal demonstration 01:49:29 Video Voicemails 02:21:35 Donnell Rawlings ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ KFC: Order KFC’s NEW Chizza at a participating KFC location today! https://kfcshop.com/?utm_source=%25s&utm_medium=Content&utm_campaign=KFC_Radio&utm_content=%25ecid%21 https://bit.ly/KFC_Chizza Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). BetterHelp: KFC Radio is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/KFC today to get 10% off your first month. Netflix: NETFLIX | THE GENTLEMEN LIKE IT WHEN YOU WATCH. https://www.netflix.com/title/81437051You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Um, there was a single night where I went out with a homeless man. And he... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. you get yourself a beautiful slice of chita you break it into look at two perfect little triangles and you get yourself practically a full meal oh my god it's so good. It's so good. I've not eaten yet, so it's unbelievable. Me too. I just hit a spot. Mmm. I mean, it's big.

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Yeah, like it should not be a fad. It should just be constant. chicken is a is is forever pizza is forever the cheats also should be forever uh again two white meat fillets marinara sauce melted mozzarella and some pepperoni and you got yourself one of the best you know we live in the era of like mix this food with that food bacon bacon and donuts. And this one is the best one to ever come across our way. So it's the new KFC Cheats at participating KFCs today. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. I'm at a stage in life where I feel like I need weekends to my weekend.

Yes. And that is not a stage in life you want to get to. Brother, that's been my stage in life the whole life. Has it? Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, I guess for you – My weekends are busier than my weeks.

I know. I was going to say – My weeks are pretty goddamn busy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, first of all, it's a good thing. It's like that's what the regular world is dealing with. The weekends, though, you're doing a lot of travel.

It's always for pleasure, but it's not necessarily pleasurable. Right. That's where I got the spoons from. You'll meet the spoons a little bit. I got the spoons at the airport. We're doing like the backward Seinfeld episode where we're going to be making references to things that haven't quite happened yet, but the spoons. The spoons. Be ready for the spoons.

As I walked out afterwards, Jackie was like, we didn't give the spoons enough credit. These spoons are crazy. It's a crazy shape for a spoon. Yeah. This is making no sense, but it will. There's spilled milk. There's weird spoons.

It's a whole fucking thing. So yeah. What did you do? It was just, know it was it also snuck up on me it was like i had football baseball and basketball for the kids and then we had to celebrate football yeah flag football oh it was actually great uh i will say to all the seth rogan's steve-os you know the people who are really anti-kids um if you if you are a sports person if you like sports

when your kids get into sports there is a moment where you're like maybe this is worth it maybe all of this is worth it the money the sleep the stress the bro i i think the i kind of agree but also kind of disagree because i saw a picture go the other way too yeah a clip on uh game notes the other day with uh shout out murrells and shout out army um i believe it was murrells was telling the story where someone on his kids league the dad puts a fucking speaker in his helmet correct i mean and like tells him what to do like in hockey Insane. The kid went up to the coach and was like, Coach, can you put this back in my helmet? And the coach was like, what the fuck?

This is a fucking audio video. The coach didn't even know? Yeah. And... Yo. The... And to talk. It's not like a camera.

We're going to watch your video after. We're talking to him. Go to the corner. Get to the front of the net. This kind of deal. Having to deal with that. Like, if I could, if you could guarantee me that everyone else in the league is just a fucking regular person

and is there to watch their kid learn some camaraderie and some social skills and that kind of shit, I would be about it. Having to deal with lunatics like that would be a nightmare. I'll play devil's advocate for one while fully acknowledging that's insane it might be a better alternative than screaming on the sidelines yeah yeah because we we had the last basketball game of the year and uh we are we are a shoot it franchise.

We are the New York Knicks. The Yonkers Knicks, I believe, is our team. And we are a team full of parents just screaming shoot it. And it got to the point where I had to, like, I was like, all right, guys, come on. We got to stop. Because the kids are, like, open. And I'm like, I know how excited you get when you hit a basket or even just, like close shot so shoot it and then they don't and so we're just going shoot it shoot it shoot every parent is yelling shoot it a lot of the parents are doing it yep that's crazy we're doing

not even just for their i'm doing for everybody mark shoot it evan shoot i'm just screaming these kids names because there is the only time i would have to imagine hockey might be tough too because you're on ice and I can't imagine how good the young kids are on ice but basketball is a nightmare for kids probably again aside from hockey I think basketball is the number one coordination

sport dribbling eye hand coordination shooting I think baseball but baseball is a very do this one activity like go up there and hit this ball yeah and then it's over catch this ball throw you know basketball being like a you've like you got to move to this side and come back to this side and cut this way and try to get the ball there and all that sort of shit and and like the dribbling is just such an x factor where like nobody can really do it i i know what you're saying it's

like hand eye coordination and that kind of shit, but I think – or maybe that's like coordination of like literally like your body being coordinated enough. Like Keegan's on the floor like every single time. Kids are sprawled out. They're falling. They're falling. See, that's why I could never be like – the coaching thing is such a weird relationship too because like if I was a coach of that team,

I'd like walk outside i'd be like hey everyone shut the fuck up well but then there's also like i also get the part of like i'm thinking like i know a pretty good amount about hockey and if my kid played hockey i would not have the time to coach but i would but you want to be in the moment and be like dude i know more than you so yeah like i have to make sure his coach is a good coach. This is also like there's a head coach and then there's like four other dads that were like always there. Yeah. They're not like moms and dads in the bleachers.

It's like assistant coaches who are like trying to help. But the only – so my point being like it's so hard for them to even get a moment where they're open that when it is and they miss it, like they don't try. It's like that's like a whole week's worth of of like you know what i mean so everyone's just shoot it shoot it if i could just have a little earpiece be like kick and shoot the ball right now i mean but but i did there was a moment where one dad was yelling for his kid to do something and mid-game he turned around he was like i'm, I'm not open. I can't. He was just like, ah, ah, ah, literally doing this. Like, ah, what do you want me to do? And I was like, all right, we should fall back.

But if I had a little earpiece being like, go to the foul line. Cut back door right now. I told you a nightmare story, and you're like, pretty good idea. Again, you know, start to walk a mile in the shoes, and things all of a sudden change, man. And then I was like, birthdays all weekend, family birthdays and St. Patrick's Day and shit. And it was like, ugh. So, yeah, one of those.

What did you do this weekend? I went to a dinner and I had something of a realization. An epiphany, if you will. Yes. I think women... I'm one of those. Here we go. I think women take longer

to get ready, so we look bad by the time it's time to leave. I can't confirm the intent behind it, but it definitely is. It happens. That's for sure. Me, my brother, and my dad are ready to go like an hour before everybody else. By the time they got out, we're all untucked.

We're fucking. Shirts stained. We spilled stuff on ourselves. Yep. Your hair's flopping down. Like, if you were ready to go when you said be ready to go. I would look up. I would have rolled up to this dinner looking fucking great.

If girls were on time, we would be pooky and jet. Just rolling in there looking fire. Dude, they're just sitting there watching fucking TV, watching some basketball game I don't give a shit about. Getting all wrinkled. By the time we're ready to go, my head is, like, flat. My hair's all fucked up because I've been leaning back. This is intentional sabotage. You guys don't want us to look good

that's the problem it's funny because I go the other way where if somebody gives me too much time then I start adding makeup and I just add

more and more and then I look crazy by the end because I have a full smoky eye so it's the same thing but the other way I had a fucking

shrimp cocktail on my shirt i was like this is all a nightmare yeah you guys yeah you can hear their heels clicking around upstairs like if you just hurry up i won't have a stain on me when you get down here and you know it's like a kid you can't leave a kid alone it'll make a mess you can't leave me alone for a little bit idle hands man idle hands for adult men is a problem i also you know i say this carefully but like nine times out of ten you come they come downstairs looking you know like occasionally you know maybe there's you're going to a wedding or something you're really

dolled up but for the most part it's like yeah you do your hair like that you always do your makeup like that you're wearing the clothes you always wear you know how long it takes right yeah um did you do i have well first jackie would you do this again oh funny you ask um there was a single night where we i went out with a homeless man. And he... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, where's Paz? I want him in the room for this too. I told him already. What do you mean went out with?

So my friend and I, we just went out. You're the best, dude. Nobody better than her. You've been sitting here listening to us talk about dumb shit. And you've been sitting there like, I went out with a homeless guy. Wait, what is it? Actually, no. It was a whole night.

So my friend and I were walking. And this homeless man. It's pretty cut and dry. The homeless man said, where are you guys going? And we go, karaoke. So then he was like. Wait, what did you say? We said, karaoke.

On our way to karaoke, as you could probably gather. And then we – he just came with us. But the awkward part was we had just gotten spray tans. That's the awkward part. But like so the three of us, we hung out like the whole night. And this man, like he looks homeless. I was going to say, what's the level of homeless? He smells homeless and he looks homeless. Wait, so I'm sorry.

What was the conversation? He was like, what are you guys doing? You were like karaoke. And he said, can I come with? And we said, yeah, I guess. She's the female you. That would happen to you. I thought for some reason there would be more conversation, but no.

No, that tracks. That's it. It was, yeah. And then the three of us tried to get into multiple bars, but because of the smell... I would imagine we got kicked out. Hang on. So you're getting denied

from bars because of this man's aroma. Of course! So what's funny is, the fact that we had spray tans is important because we're wearing sweatpants. So the three of us, it's kind of like, what's going on there? You all look homeless. We all look a little homeless, but like, one looks a lot more homeless than the rest.

You guys were first day. You're like, we just got out of here. Yeah, we're fresh homeless. This guy's a veteran. I've been homeless for 24 hours. Yeah. How far from his corner, his house, to karaoke did you walk it was like well again because we had to go to multiple bars so it ended up being like a it was only like a few blocks away but

again when you're homeless like really how far is home for you so he stuck with us a whole night and like and then and then like again we were kind of trying to like shake him off and he kept buying drinks on our tabs and and then also also. And he kept buying drinks on our tabs. And then also, I thought he was buying drinks for me the whole night. He also really wanted to get with me. Jackie, A, no fucking kidding. B, no fucking kidding. Wait, wait, wait.

You thought he was buying you drinks? But then he was just buying them on my tab. Yeah. He's homeless. And then he also was, like, kind of, like, socially awkward. Where, like, he, you know, it's like when And then he also was like kind of like socially awkward. We're like he, you know, it's like when you only know like two people at the party, like you like will like go and stick by their side. Like obviously the only people he like kind of knew.

Maybe in the whole world, Jacqueline. Jackie, I'm going to, I'm going to break some to you. He's not socially awkward. He's mentally ill. Also, I'll tell you who's socially awkward. The fucking girls hanging out with the hobos. You're fucking socially awkward. You took a homeless guy out with you for a whole night who bought drinks

on your tab and your issue is he was a little socially awkward. It was just funny because it was really... There's a difference between going out with a homeless man and having him do his own homeless man thing and going out with a homeless man and having him be clingy.

He's too clingy. He's too clingy. It's not that he doesn't have a job. It's not that he can't walk into establishments because of his body odor. He's just a little too into it. Classic girl right there. I was just getting...

Red flag. The homeless man is too into it. Jackie's just like, this guy's kind of giving me the ick yeah i know he smells like a toilet like no he's just so around us physically see ick on his body it's a physical ick what um yeah okay so oh wait wait wait no no don't yeah we i mean throw out the rest of the fucking more to the not much more to the story other than... No, no, there is so much more, though, Jackie. Did you guys, like, what did you guys talk about?

The homeless guy. I mean... It's ridiculous. And she's like, there's not much more to the story. There's so much more. Let's back it up. Okay. So first of all, when a bouncer would say,

you can't get in here, bro, you stink, what would your reaction be? No, he said, you guys are not dressed okay which was offensive to be looped in with the homeless and i'm thinking like okay we probably could have gotten away with it but then he like would point to my sweatpants i was like why are you pointing to my sweatpants he's okay you over there though in the dirty air force ones i don't know about you yeah wait how how dressed down because nowadays you know girls could pop on a sports bra and and and sweatpants and be considered like fashionable were you really

bumming it for the day oh i guess i can't use that word in this case really uh like in pajamas my culture is not your costume so like like my friend was wearing a much cuter lounge outfit so like like hers was oh so you were clearly so it was honestly me and the guy i was gonna say she was number one yeah you you and him were a distant second and third we were bringing down the group average and she and so again like the guy pointed to me and then the other guy was just like no like at the door so he got denied guy pointed to me and then the other guy was just like No like at the door so he got denied from like two places And then the karaoke place like

Let us in Because I like he was kind of Trailing behind so like the smell hadn't hit them It was just like two people at the time Oh you tricked him huh Yeah and then And then Yeah again not much more to the story

Wait no there is though like though. Did you sing? Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, did you sing with the homeless man? So he wanted to sing with us, and there were only two microphones, and we kind of were like, listen, buddy, I know we're the three amigos now, but my friend and I, it's our tab, and we're going to sing. And then also we wanted to sing the three little birds sat on the window song. Yeah.

But then they gave us instead like the, like the don't worry about a thing. Like, like the Rasa song. So then it was just like a weird karaoke song kind of. And then it's like, like then I felt like my friend was going like heavy on the accent with it. And I was like. Oh my God. Again. And with like our homeless, like oh my god again and with like

our homeless like our new friend i don't was he of color he was a black man he was of color and so i was just kind of trying to think about a friend think about the being on like the rest of the people and she was going heavy on the accent and it was all together just like an uncomfortable an uncomfortable night. What did you guys... First of all... We also were blackout getting spray tans. And we were like... It is so streaky because we just kept running into things

and then sweating the whole night. Anyways, it's just like, was it my best night? No. Not my proudest. The least of that man's concerns would have been these girls who keep buying us drinks and keep letting me hang out with them. Not my proudest The least of that man's concerns Would have been These girls Who keep buying us drinks And keep letting me

Hang out with them Yeah Didn't realize They were subtly racist So Yeah that's so true I can't wait to get To voicemails today

So I'm homeless I live in New York City And these two girls What did you guys talk about When you weren't singing What was the topic We didn't

We didn't We didn't chit chat With him too much Again he was He was mostly like Once he figured out That like we had a tab open he was mostly getting drinks how long from start to finish are we talking with this man um also like all jackie answer the question oh from start to finish like he ran into him on the on the street and he said where do you girls go he said karaoke two You went your separate ways.

Two to three hours. Two to three hours. Bro, there are girls who bail on perfectly good men on dates because, like, they ordered the wrong drink. I'll have a glass of white wine. I'm ditching this date. This girl and her friend hang out with a homeless man who stayed like weren't you just smelling him the whole time yeah like i personally got used to it again because it had been like two or three hours but the rest of the karaoke bar was like clearing out yeah yeah no fucking kidding

you guys are pretty fucking rude i must say like you got once you get to know him was he singing at all or you just stole the mics uh again he tried to sing but again once he figured out that there were free drinks he was pretty locked in on and he was just getting hammered he's kind of getting here but also just like hanging around us and like kind of trying to talk again trying to get with me what was the homeless man's game like? You know what? I'll be honest. He wasn't a bad-looking man.

Like, I would never. I would never. Okay. But, like, also. And now, like he said, did he riz you up? Like, was his chat game good? Okay. I don't, to be honest, I don't remember much of it.

Like, I don't, you know what? Like, you don't really remember conversations. Like, I don't remember what we talked about. Well, you were blacked talked about well you were blacked out i know i'd be in shit face like escape your brain when you're hammered yeah um but i i don't i think like it could have been worse honestly like if you're picturing he was like definitely. For sure homeless. But on the more Rizzy side of homeless, I guess. I'll tell you how it could be worse. I'll tell you how it could be really worse. If you're the other girl in the situation.

She had said that she had a boyfriend early on. And for some reason, I didn't think to say that. He would have for sure gotten with her. Okay. But still, in the moment respected the boundaries yeah the sanctity of monogamy over here the fact though whatever was said

fine I understand that but if there's two girls and one man and one girl's getting the eyes and the attention it's tough for the other girl whether they are home full or homeless no he was really trying to get with her too but then again she shut that down and I just don't know why. You left the door open.

So I'm also like for sure going through something because I made out with a 50 year old man like two weekends ago and then I talked all night. The next night I talked all night to a 70 year old man. 70? Yeah, 70. So now it's a pattern and now it's

something that we have to look in. Like, now I have to look into it. Jackie, good. I'm for sure going through something. No, I don't have it. My camera's not on. Sorry. Where's the camera?

I know. I've asked so many fucking times for this thing to get fixed. It won't get fixed. There's no, there's no. I'll be honest. I'm way more worried about the 70-year-old than the homeless man. Yeah, because the 50-year-old. The 70-year 50 the 70 year old but like you just talked we just talked i did not like make out with him but like i got i'm still more worried about the 70 year old man 70 i mean it's 24 70 you can look like

70s he was attractive like 70s the new 50 50s new 30 yeah but you can you can make out with a 50 year old guy hoping praying he had a job and a house and you know make out with a 50 year old guy hoping praying he had a job and a house and you know you can find a 50 year old guy that's in shape your guy he also did not speak english at all and he wasn't attractive okay so now i'm worried about what the okay yeah i don't okay okay so it's now like three in a row where it's like okay now we have to look into this yeah that was a problem is it like once is you just... Like once is, you know, a fluke, twice is, you know, coincidence, three times a problem.

Yeah. Wait. But no, no, to be clear, I was never going to get with a homeless man. Like that was not ever... Well, you know, you kind of... So the 50-year-old man, take us through this one now.

The 50-year-old man, like, also just blackout. That one, that was just... And that was like, I... You were pursuing him. I was pursuing him. Like that was just and that was like i you were pursuing him i was pursuing him like that was was he at the bar this was not like a like a date this was a club okay but it's not like you like match with him and then no like this was just something i just like now so you're at the club remember it but is he is he like was he like i have a table and shit well he didn't speak english no so but but did you okay yeah that's tough but was he like uh i really this one i actually like i really don't remember much of this i just remember flashes of his face i remember was he like dressed nice like

like you know what i mean i'm trying to say like was he like a bum at the bar was it like no because you can go to a bar maybe a 50 year old guy who's like a billionaire and it's like that's fine you know no he was like average. It was just average. I was just like, not my best. Not my best. So then you make out with him. You're on the dance floor.

You're popping that pussy. You're dancing. You make out with him in the club? Yeah. And then? No, no. Then nothing else. Then you go your separate ways After the club

You say adios I say adios Sayonara I don't know what he was speaking I'm also like just too old For a dance floor Like it was just like Again I was on

First of all You're not Thank you That's so sweet 24 DFMOs are still going on When you're 24 Yeah

Yeah Yeah yeah yeah I guess. I don't know. And your friends are here for the situation? Yep. And they are cheering you on or they're saying, they're like, she's clearly going through something. That one I'm not

as concerned about. Like I said. I guess if you saw just because also like, that is again, that's like the first guy I've kissed since like my, it's been like a you saw just because also like that is again that's like the first guy I've kissed since like my it's been like a while so everyone was like why him like why why break the street yeah yeah this 50 year old Albanian that's what I'm picturing you're picturing Albanian I was picturing Spanish oh no sorry Spanish his name is Alejandro but see I can see something there yeah that's what I mean like I can see a 50 year old named Alejandro who's like

fit and like fucks chicks and it's like not that crazy now it sounds like he wasn't that guy but as long as he wasn't like the bar back or something we're at least on the right path there I will remind you what was your season like three

plan was to hook up with a dad way back when like when jackie first started i'm gonna fuck a dad she was yeah she was she was living for me to say to you guys yeah you were like you had just started working and you were living your life in terms of what's up i'm jackie i'm here to fuck everyone's dad yeah yeah yeah you got a dad i'm a banger you you were like i'm gonna fuck a dad for like my season three premiere yeah now it took a little while i think we're on like season five now but you know you're he's probably he was probably a dad of some sort at the age of 50 yeah but again like homeless thing

super red flag but i can see it being like a we did it for the story. How did the homeless night end? I don't remember that. They double teamed him and called it a night. No, I think he left after a while. No, he left you? I honestly don't know. The homeless man who had a literal Willy Wonka golden ticket for unlimited booze and attention from these girls for some unknown reason. And he was like, I've had enough.

I'm going home for the day. No, I guess we left. I guess we left. Okay, that's better. Because what if you guys are all leaving and he's like, I got nowhere to stay tonight. Do you mind if I sleep on your couch? We know that that will happen.

We know that happens. She's done that before. I know. Not to a homeless man, but to that guy oh yeah but that's different barely like you know him i i would not have but like that was the thing is i remember thinking in the moment like okay i'm i'm obviously like on a weird like streak like i don't trust myself anymore but but i would not have i absolutely would not wait so it went to Like, I was just like, I don't, like, obviously, like, I view it from, like, a third party where I'm just like, I don't know what's going on with her.

Give me the order and days, like, homeless man, karaoke first? Or 50-year-old makeout first? Yeah, actually, so the 50-year-old makeout was first. Then the 70-year-old? But, like, I've had some other just, like, questionable flirtings where I'm just like, why? 70-year-old was actually after karaoke. Okay, so you went 50-year-old makeout

into homeless guy into 70-year-old flirting. Three for three, baby. Your face was so stoic as you said that. Three for three, baby. And what time period are we looking at here? What time period? How long? 50-year-old man was two weeks ago and then in two

weeks you did karaoke with a homeless man made out of the 50 year old and and rizzed up a 70 year old yep yep now see i'm liking this you're fucking letting it rip dude yeah that voice makes it all okay i'm now good i was i was a little concerned obviously i walked over to you like when she Shay tells me Something's wrong I was like What's happening But

That's one of those That's a Ron White type thing If you can stand On your own two feet And look me in the eyes And be like Yup Then it's like

Okay You're just doing Some funny Fucking wacky shit If you were like Waking up in the morning Like Well you probably did

A little bit of that But if you were really Worried about it No And the 70 year old man Like man, like, I stand by. He was hot. What were you guys talking about? Yeah, let's go through that one now.

Where, when, who, what, when, where, why on that? He was telling me all about his wife who died. Oh, well, that's a little... And then he dated a model. And now he's, like, kind of, like, has an open relationship with a 23-year-old. Was he good-looking? Yeah. Oh, you just said that.

Was he rich? Yes, but also he was at a bar in Midtown. I don't know. Like he told you he was rich, or you could just kind of say that? Yeah, I was going to say, is that true, you think? He seemed rich. Seeming is, like if he told you, it was probably no. I was going to say, seeming rich is when you're –

No, he did seem rich. It was going to say, seeming rich is – No, he did seem rich. It's almost one of those things with rich. It's like if I tell you I'm rich, I'm not. If I seem I'm rich, then I'm like rich. Then it goes back around where it's like that guy is a billionaire. Like you don't even seem it or look it because you end up having so much money. You go back to the beginning. I don't know about that.

I think that's something we fantasize. I mean, we saw it in – But that's a guy in a t-shirt at a bar. That's what I mean though. Like there's – But that was – that's fine. Maybe like the quietness or whatever. Like that was a guy we met briefly.

He seemed like a normal dude. All good. But when everyone went through the quiet luxury phase like this is how billionaires dress what evidence do we have of that there's like 20 of them like when you have real wealth this is how you dress like who made that up cap like that was all like fucking marketing no but i think you get to a point where you watch succession and we're like this is how rich people really live i could see though when you get really a point where – People watch Succession and we're like, this is how rich people really live. I could see that when you get really rich and you've spent all the money and lived the lifestyle, you do go back to like a lesser –

I would guarantee you that they're wearing bland articles of clothing that are personally made for them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's their – But it doesn't look like... I can see when you're first rich, you want people to know it, so you do flashy things. I think you stop being flashy

when you get really, really, really rich. I think that's just age. Could be, yeah. I think also a lot of people took the Balmain, just the certain brands to a different level. It became tacky. What? Like all the brand names, like the Louis belts.

Yeah, it's like out of style. Or like Crocs come into style. So now you see a guy wearing Crocs, he might be a billionaire. I think the main thing with those is like knockoffs and stuff like that, and then you see poor people wearing it. Yeah. But wait, okay. So the 70-year-old guy scared me more than anything.

But if you're telling me he's like some hot silver fox, then maybe he's the number one pick overall in this whole thing. Maybe you should just date that guy. I like him dropping the I'm in an open relationship with a 23-year-old. Did he tell you that before or after he learned he was, you were 24? I was going to say, like,

just so you know, girls of your age do fuck. Yeah. Yeah. That's the, and also like they do fuck me and they also let me fuck other girls. Don't get any of this twisted. I also was like,

are you really in an open relationship? It's okay. Also. So this, this was honestly kind of a ball. Do you guys think i'm mysterious mysterious serious uh if i were to meet you for the first time yeah you're paradoxical in the sense that you're i guess i just literally outed everything about myself but you're also mysterious

like like that's like you do you are kind of an open book, it seems, but you also do have – I'll say this. You kind of quietly roam around the office kind of like, what the fuck is Jackie's deal? I'll also – I'll say this. If you – you're in something that we a long time ago used to call the Tyson zone

where I would believe anything. You could tell me – if I said, Jackie, what's your weekend? Like karaoke homeless man. Like mad libs with jackie she could say she did xyz with abc on you know whatever and and i'd be like yeah i don't know that's what jackie does so you're you're anything is possible with jackie so yeah i'd say that's mystery the more i think about it you're definitely mysterious because i have people come up to me i think you're very what's her about what's anyone outside this room yeah we're excited people like what's that girl's i think you're very what's her about what's anyone outside this room yeah i think you've told enough stories that make you seem a little bit wild and like spontaneous

but also you don't you don't like you don't blast your personal life out there too much we kind of knew you were dating somebody and when you keep it a little bit like people are like what's up with that i i told jackie the other night i at a dinner, and a good amount of people came up to me being like, Jackie's awesome. And then this past weekend, I was at another one, and people were like, you guys got to get Jackie more involved. I'm like, I fucking know. I know.

Yeah, yeah. Well, involved I am. Consider me involved. Yeah, yeah. What is your bronze, silver, and gold for these interactions bronze silver and gold um uh uh i would say homeless man last thank you no no no no no sorry 50 year old man last okay homeless man honestly gold no because like i didn't at least i didn't get with him i like get his number and like i shut that down and then the silver man thing like i get that interactions you're like i

got out unscathed yeah yeah i lost a few i didn't fuck that person i don't get myself a gold a lot on that but like i didn't fuck that person i shouldn't fuck Gold medal for me There were so many other Usually Johnny Boy gets a bronze on that one There were so many worse ways that it could have ended up Yeah Death, rape, embarrassment All that sort of shit The 50 year old make out

You were saying you were on the dance floor So it was like you were just like yeah that's feeling the vibe and like sucking face i don't want to think about it yeah yeah but i don't know what good kisser i don't remember yeah i should remember i bet alejandro was a good kiss i think that's again alejandro alejandro could fucking suck i'm picturing alejandro with a a fucking rose in his mouth. And he comes up and he's like, I'm sure. And he's sweaty, but not too sweaty because he's been dancing.

And then all of a sudden he dips you and kisses you. And next thing you know, I think Jackie fucked this guy. No, I asked my friend, I was like, was he like an Alejandro? And she was like, no. He was Alejandro. Yeah, Alejandro. And so your friends are watching you from afar or they're like on the dance floor with you? They're watching me.

They're watching me from afar. Nobody's saving me. And you, I'm just trying to picture what's worse. If it is like you're dancing and then it's just like, ah. Or you've been dancing all night and you two creep off to a corner together and make out. I think that's worse than like – the dance floor make out is – Yeah, it was all out there. Usually you do that when you're like 17.

Yeah, yeah. But I can see that being just like the spur of the moment versus like I'm choosing to suck on your tongue right now. Ew, guys. Okay. Isn't that gross? I really don't want to think about the Alejandro thing anymore. So that's bronze. That's bronze.

That's bronze. Seven-year-old is silver and karaoke with a homeless man. Yeah. I stand by those two. For three hours. Yeah, those two sound like great nights. Yeah. It really is.

It's such a double standard. Like if there was a guy version of this, we'd be like, hell yeah. Like you said, like you're letting it rip. I feel like girls would be like, oh my God, no. But that's a great two weeks. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's.

Like, you know what? You know what? You know what girls. You're living the dream right now. Honestly? Yeah. You know what the other girls your age are doing the last two weeks? They're like, I like fought with my boyfriend and like we got back together and then

we're like fighting again and i'm like in a fight with my roommate and no they're they've got it much more together than me that is jackie's like no i know exactly what girls my age doing they're watching me going what i'm currently with them it's also i don't know though i i i'm all about especially at this age let it rip you know maybe don't put yourself though. I'm all about, especially at this age, let it rip. You know, maybe don't put yourself in such compromising positions, but fuck it. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm going to go basketball. I'm going to continue to. This train isn't stopping. Let's go. Let's go, dude. Fuck yeah. That was a. This train isn't stopping.

I'm not fucking leaving. I'm not fucking leaving. Yeah, anyways. Dude. yeah that was a train isn't stopping that was genuine for anyone concerned listening it ain't changing yeah you can't exactly uh predict these things but like what would you say is next what would i say is next probably fucking one of them i i think that i don't know i don't know probably if i had to guess in sti if if uh if grandpa hits you up if grandpa hits you up would you would you talk to him again would you go out with him again um because i'm gonna to go ahead and say you're not going to hang out with the homeless guy again.

Yeah, I'm not going to go out. What if you two are out? Yeah. What if you are coming home from the bar one night and you pass by his corner and he says hey, karaoke, and you go, oh,

karaoke guy, and he goes let's go get a and you go, oh, karaoke guy. And he goes, let's go get a nightcap. He goes, you know, that was kind of offensive the way you sang Three Little Birds. I'd like to talk to you

more about that. No, it was the nightcap. I could just see her and her friend, don't worry, be happy. Like, just this most

exaggerated shit. Which is also, like, not a good karaoke song to sing. No, it's slow and kind of – yeah, whatever. Would you get a nightcap with him? No.

Well, I – I can see you getting twist my arm sort of thing. I really am in a phase right now where I'm just like, what? Why not? Well, but also you're saying that, but you're not – Take a second. It's not like you're fucking all these dudes or being like totally reckless. You're not like – I feel like I used to do – not like this shit, but there would be times where I'd be like, man, I really don't have my life together or whatever.

And it's like, what? Because I don't know. You're a little bit more hungover than usual and you had a bad week at work. Dude, you're living life perfectly. Yeah. You're getting some good stories. You're having fun. It's also noted that –

I love the Babs laugh. Sometimes he just chimes in with like, Jesus Christ. Jackie, I wouldn't change a thing. I'm not going to change a thing. I'm not going to change a thing. This is sometimes where daughters scare me. I'm like, I didn't think I had to do this talk, but like, hey, Shay, if there's ever any homeless people,

don't go doing karaoke. That's the one thing you should do why not do karaoke you're with a bunch of other people you're fine he's not going to like rape me inside the karaoke bar dude google fucking karaoke rapes

never happens Pat's going to be karaoke singing sex um Jackie what would we call Pab's gonna be Carrie O'Keefe singing sex Jackie what would we call this for this era for Jackie

what era is she in rip it rip it era that was that was so genuine like we could come up with something else

but that was so real rip it I like the way you said it, too. It was one word. Rip it. Rip it. Like a frog.

Rip it. Rip it. We might need – maybe if I make you a shirt with a frog and a little cloud that says rip it. It's kind of like things coming around, like the old viral, like still going to let it rip. Jackie, what are you going to do tonight? Rip it. Rip it. Rip it. It's so fun to rip it i'll tell you what that's a fucking mantra that's a war cry rip it but not yeah not

it's not let it rip it's not rip it it's rip it rip it it's perfectly subtle with all the things you're doing Like Yeah Like you know Like I'm bragging about it Yeah Just rip it What are you doing

I'm fucking ripping Rip it It's like It's like quiet luxury Version of ripping it What do real fucking Partiers do Well said

We rip it Yeah I'm also just picturing Like a Like your friends I could see being like, you know, like, Jackie, what are you doing? And she just kind of looks at me and, yeah, rip it.

And just walks away. You know, like that's the safe word almost. Like if I can still tell you rip it, you leave me the fuck alone and let me go rip it. So, okay. Well, I mean, we'll have to be checking in. Are you a weeknight partier? Not really, no.

You only go out on the weekends? Yeah. Yeah. Occasionally Thursday. Yeah, yeah. And if somebody asks me, I'm on a Tuesday. And Monday Night Football and Wednesdays, you know, a detox. Okay, the Jackie Ripit face, Ripit era.

Yep. I'm in my Ripit era. Jackie told me earlier that my hair looks okay voluminous voluminous voluminous he did you did you are yeah um do you think that's the most harry potter sounding word in the english language voluminous that sounds voluminous extras wow um question um munificent came to mind munificent munificent munificent

what's that mean like uh was that charitable m-u nef m-u-n-e-f or

yeah like magnificent but munificent munificent what does it mean charitable like charitable gracious

munificent I was thinking what do you think the least sexy food is? I think it's a hard-boiled egg. That would – I feel like a personal attack. That is from – that is literally –

I don't think you've made them as least sexy as possible. Like evidence from her just over the last six months just watching you. She's like, Sour Patch Kids, hard- boiled eggs you know a handful of chicken when we were in austin i was eating some hard boiled eggs and jackie was like so somehow you're making those look grosser bro in austin vitalberg bought a couple quick hotel hard boils got his boilies out and he mashed these boilies up until it was just a big bowl of yolk. Not wet yolk, but just like it all turned yellow and it has that consistency when they're hard-boiled.

And he just ate the bowl of yolk and I was like, I can't believe this. And then I also got a parfait and I walked around the YMH studios eating it. And afterwards, Jackie, like a day later, Jackie's like, by the way, you were covered in yogurt. She was like, it was all over your lips and face. I was like, what the hell? Why are you telling me now, dude? Either tell me in the moment or never tell me. I was just looking at you just being like, pull it together.

Least sexy food, though. Lobsters up there. Lobsters for you. Well, yeah, like are you talking about like eating it, what you look like when you're eating it,

what it smells like, or just like it, like the very essence of the food is unsexy. Just the sex appeal of the food. Like a sloppy joe? I would even say like that's... There's some sexiness

in the sloppiness. Fruit, very sexy. Yeah, juicy. Then you're pretty right then, a hard-boiled egg. A hard-boiled egg. What's funny is I would even say like a soft-boiled egg or like scrambled eggs. There's a little bit of sex appeal there. Yeah.

I think like an over-easy egg is pretty sexy almost. I think a poached is the hottest. The hottest of eggs? Yeah. Wait, what's poached again? Like when you kind of like you spin the water and you drop it in

and it's kind of like a loose thing. Skin around it. Oh, see, that doesn't sound sexy to me. Oh. A loose skin around it is sexy to you? Hard-boiled eggs are sexy, dude.

No. No. I'm sorry, I meant soft-bo i meant softball softball poached whatever you call it well so a soft boiled egg is like very french very like that's a little sexy yeah that's like a soft boiled egg has its own uh holster exactly when i come out in that if it's regal that's downright regal like the fact that kevin you don't know that is like yeah white trash doesn't even know what a poached egg or a softball egg isvin you don't know that is like yeah white trash doesn't even know what a poached egg or a softball egg is but i don't think anything egg is necessarily sexy

because it's like it smells and it's you know eggs are kind of like you gotta trace it back dude you gotta think back eggs like sex eggs yeah fertility yeah you gotta think what the mind starts going with. So like – Like a poached egg kind of looks like a semen. I was going to say like – We're talking about sex. So are you –

We're talking about the essence of life. So like if something was like cum, would you be – No, this is why egg whites. Not sexy. But for girls, it's like cum. Could be. Could be. Could whites. Not sexy. But for girls, it's like cum. Could be. Could be. Could be.

Could be. For me, a guy turned off by cum? Not for me. Not for you. If cum is something that gets you going, you're probably going to like a fucking egg white. I don't like protein-based liquids that are white. Not for me. You talk a lot about protein

based liquids. That comes up very frequently. At this point, as I was doing it, I was like Jackie's going to call us. Jackie heard it all. So wait, the least I'm trying to get another one beside the Marlboro. I would say like a parfait.

Sexy. I also think the words part of it. Unless you throw it at your face. Yeah, unless you're eating it with those spoons. Unless you're covered. If it's in your beard, no. And like Brussels sprouts didn't always used to be – but it's all about PR. Okay, wait.

How about this one? We talked about this the other day. Good or bad, sexy or unsexy, the fajitas. Fajita, I would lean towards... Fajita's like a pick-me. It's very... You're good at analyzing food. Look at me. It's very the try-hard of all foods.

But also, you could say's like this presentation to it And it's very you know Like I think Desserts are sexy when there's a drizzle involved When there's a I was gonna say something With a hot honey drizzle You're thinking just about cum

What? I mean You're thinking about cum I was thinking about a pepperoni pizza with a hot honey drizzle. Okay, but I just feel like you keep bringing up protein-based liquids and egg whites and all that. Yeah, you got cum on the brain. You got cum on the brain. I said it one time.

No, you said it three times. I said it once. She had it once. Even when you're talking about it negative, you're talking about it. Yeah, you are implying cum at all times. Freudian cum talk over here. I'll own that with the eggs. I reject it with the hot honey drizzle.

That one was I was picturing a nice warm pizza with a hot honey drizzle. Yeah, but you picture the drizzle because you're thinking about cum. Oh, yeah, I was picturing it falling out of a dick, yes. All right, you got me there. I was picturing a guy jerking it off onto the pizza you know we do have a question we do have a question if you could come a condiment what would it be hot honey drizzle the answer if you could throw hot honey loads like that's way better you know ladies am i right like would you rather what you normally have like the weird fucking coconut water type thick shit, or would you rather some hot honey drizzle?

I would think I honestly, and this probably says more about me, when I was thinking about what I would ejaculate. Ejaculate? I wasn't thinking about it with a partner involved. You're talking about your own cleanup? I went mayonnaise right away, and I was like, I make sandwiches the most. That would be the easiest to just – Oh, you thought about it from like your –

I just use it. I just jerk off on it. If I'm just coming mayonnaise – What's so weird is that it's gross. That's gross. Yeah. But like I'm saying, if you told me that what's coming out of your dick is clean, pure mayonnaise, you should just spread it on and use it.

But because it's coming out of your dick, it's like tainted. It for sure is. But I also, I have. Bro, if you were like making sandwiches and you're just like get the bread out, get a couple slices of cheese. Open the fridge. I'm like, I'm out of mayonnaise. Yeah.

There we go. Now, you would jerk off right onto your sandwich or you would jerk off like and then something and then open the fridge i'm like i'm on a man yeah there we go now you would jerk off right onto your uh sandwich or you would jerk off like and then into something and then spread it you just go right to your sandwich because you gotta have a right you gotta you gotta go on direct like go on the bread and then i spread that's the way i do it with with regular man uh i take a clump and i put it on and that's how you spread would you and you would you would put this on the table

and come out that way yeah I do like hold it like you know about the marble positioning in my apartment yeah we've been over the marble position all of my marble

in my apartment is perfectly dick height perfect dick height it is funny to think of like a world where it's like the girl would be like dude you chose mayonnaise like yeah everyone gotta choose one she's like that's like got too many calories what what i mean i feel like this is more of a guy thing it's like a girl you know what a honey honey is a good answer for a girl. Yeah. Right? It's your honey pot.

I feel like... It's your honey pot. Yeah, you got it. It's your honey pot in there. Let me poo that shit. But for a... This question more feels like for a guy. Honey is going to make it all pretty acidity. Acid.

Acidic. Acidic. Yeah, you probably have to do a lot of... Dequesting? PR. Dequesting. Yeah, imagine how you fucking pick something you think everyone's gonna love and you gotta start wearing rubbers all the time because you infect

everyone yeah like you can't do hot sauce no i can't can't be shooting hot sauce as a girl what would you want a guy to have um probably hot like ketchup is i would say like for the color but acidic wise for the color you said just you said? Just because reds are... It's already red. Wait, wait. What are you talking about for you as a girl? In terms of... Wait, what?

What's red? I was just saying when you bleed. My mind went to period, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was saying as a girl, what do you want the guy to have? Yeah, hot honey. Hot honey, yeah. That's a good answer. That saying, as a girl, what do you want the guy to have? Yeah. Hot honey. Hot honey. Yeah.

That's a good answer. That's a great answer. What would you not want him to have? I have an answer. Guacamole. That's a good one. No, I would do guacamole. Mayonnaise, probably.

Mayonnaise? Mayonnaise. I think... Again, because mayonnaise is not sexy. Yeah, mayonnaise is not a sexy condiment. But it's convenient. Well, yes. If you're going for... If you use mayonnaise like twice a day, every. But it's convenient. Well, yes. If you use mayonnaise like twice a day every day, then yeah, you're going to save money on this.

Just like regular sex, this is about food for me. Just like everything. It all goes back to food for me. Just like regular sex. This is about food for me. It's one of the funniest things ever. Ridiculous. When I have sex, I know I keep food nearby.

I'm just like, this is done. I can roll over and I can eat some candy. Everything tastes better after sex. Your whole body, everything's heightened. Roll over, grab a lint chocolate. Yeah, some Costanza shit. That's your cigarette. Pop it in.

I think the worst thing, and it's kind of like you know borderline where it is blue cheese blue delicious don't get me wrong but if you're a girl i mean you know a chunky white thing is already kind of where we're at you know but but that's particularly bad like blue cheese feels like the guy's cum is like expired It's like regular cum that's gone bad. How about this? Not quite a condiment? Blue cheese, probably a protein-based liquid, if I had to guess. Yeah, that's what I mean. I mean, not a liquid,

but... Blue cheese? You're thinking of, like, a blue cheese crumble. I'm thinking of blue cheese crumble. But, like, blue cheese, the dressing, has the crumbles in it, so it's like a chunky... Oh, you're thinking of the dressing? Yeah, the dressing. That's not in it. So it's like a chunky. Oh, you think of the dressing. Yeah. Yeah. The dressing.

That's not a condiment. That's not a condiment? Blue cheese is surely. Blue cheese is for sure a condiment. Um. I guess. If you get like a brick of the blue cheese, then we're talking about a different form of it.

But when you order wings and get blue cheese with it, that is a condiment, babe. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. That's not the medical. I'm thinking of. I guess. I guess. I just have like a classier brain. I was thinking, babe. Okay, okay, okay. I guess I just have

a classier brain. I was thinking of blue cheese. Oh, fuck off. Jackie, how's that homeless guy's feeling? Yeah! I'm classier than you. Sorry, I'm classier. I was denied from multiple bars this weekend for the stench of my

friends. I'm just picturing like little lines coming off that guy while you walk the streets. And everybody you pass turns and goes like, what the fuck was that? That's Jackie and Pigpen.

What are Jackie and Pigpen doing? Rip it. Pigpen, rip it. What about if it was just mashed potatoes? No, a condiment. I know, I know. Big Ben Rippet What about if it was just Mashed potatoes Not a condiment I know I know I'm saying

Get all condiments You know what's the least sexy condiment And also it's just gross in general Is Russian dressing I hate people that like Russian dressing I hate you I'd agree with you on that Wait why

It's like a What are you like in fifth grade Yeah What What is It's like ketchup and mayonnaise Yes it's like It's like Thousand Island kind of Yeah It's like a, what are you like in fifth grade? What? It's like ketchup and mayonnaise. It's like Thousand Island kind of. It's secret sauce.

Gross. You want to pop it on a sandwich a little bit shorter. You're putting that in your salads. You're an animal. I kind of agree with that. But, I mean, I'll do it because I'm white trash. But it's a very, like, it's very rare. You know what is an underrated dressing for salads?

French dressing. Nobody ever gets that. And it is very good. I don't you know what is an underrated dressing for salads french dressing nobody ever gets that and it is very good it's like a orange tangy type of thing that it's very like unique like i i couldn't even tell you what it what's in it and i don't know what else i've ever had it on but an orange uh but a french dressing on your salad, underrated. Can you Google what's in French dressing? I couldn't even guess. But it's good. You never see it, though. You never hear. It's never on there.

There we go. Ketchup, sugar, olive oil, white vinegar, celery seed, chili powder. Those are all good. That also sounds pretty tight. I think Russian is very good. By the way, fuck you guys. You get a little...

I don't even know what that is. Russian dressing is almost like ketchup, mayonnaise, relish. Yeah, it's good on mayonnaise, relish is, I think, like the – Yeah. Yeah, it's good on a cheeseburger. Yeah, it's great. I mean, it's secret sauce on a Big Mac.

It's literally, arguably, what made McDonald's what it is today, and you pricks don't like it. I think I just remember this one kid that used to just make, like, a whole tray's worth of it every single lunch, and that's probably – Well, that's it. Oh, by the way, if you're, like, a kid in in elementary school eating uh russian dressing psycho psycho shit right there okay wait so what did you jackie did you ever answer what you think is hot you said hot honey is and what do you think is the least sexy food least sexy food or Either, condiment or food. Probably mayo or food, hard-boiled eggs.

I stand by that. Mayo, hard-boiled eggs. That's a good one. We should put that into ATI. Everybody reply with what you think your least favorite, least sexy and most sexy foods and condiments are because they are a fine line of sex and food. Yeah. But it's not really.

Anybody who – when you start to actually mix food and sex, if you bring hot sauce, chocolate sauce and whipped cream and shit, mess. Absolute nightmare. Dude, one time I was going down on a girl. I was in college. And I had – I was like trying to be sexy and all that stuff. We're in college. I was going to say, problem number one is just that. When you're a 20-year-old dude and you're like, I'm going to be sexy tonight.

Oh, heavens to Betsy. No, you are not. I had a Bud Light old can. You know what I mean? The silver and blue can. Bud Light vertically. Yeah. What did you do with the can?

I just poured it on her a little bit. And she was like, what the fuck are you doing? She thought it was funny, ultimately. But she was like, what are you doing? And Jackie just went, oh. It's like, I don't know. Like on her belly? I mean, it was more towards the pussy.

But it was like. She was like, what was that? Talk about a yeast infection Jesus I was like I don't know I was like I'm trying to do something

And she's like Yeah let's not Let's not Did you like Get her like a towel? Yeah We stopped having sex Yeah she walked out of the room

We never talked to her Don't get me wrong We laughed about it But it ended the Romance What are you doing? Yeah i feel like anytime i've done like i remember doing like uh it's nice all these things like when you're young and you don't realize it's like just put the d and the v and get it over within seven minutes and everyone's happy

but it was like you know uh thank nothing i'm uh like valentine's day in like high school you know what i mean yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're doing chocolate-covered strawberries. And then all of a sudden you're trying to mix that shit up. And it's like, let me just finger you. Just do this with my hands that I haven't washed. Let's call it a fucking night. Anyway, Jackie Dates homeless guy.

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mercury lounge is a great venue too great venue nolan taylor is an artist i am aware of because of chaps chaps has blogged him for uh uh back in the day with uh some of his uh whiskey drinking music i forget exactly what he would call the playlist. Yeah. But Nolan Taylor is a great kind of like winter country. You got to pick. I don't know what the genre you want to call it. Fall Out Boy or Nolan Taylor. Well, that's at 6 p.m. Ooh, a little double dip for your boy.

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It's actually a great idea to have to flip around the app too, because even just doing that in those two seconds, like, I didn't know Nolan Taylor was in town this weekend. Had Fall Out Boy not been in town, I definitely would go to that show. There's some cool shit you can kind of see. You don't always know who's in town. I've had Bargatze come

to town. I didn't realize Nate was here. And the only time, the only reason I realized it is because I was in a ticketing app looking for tickets to another show i was like wait barkat's here tonight never mind let's go to that so it is uh something that i'm saying out loud so i do it more often but not a bad idea uh you mentioned um uh you call the egg regal right yes of all foods the egg is regal um i'm all in on this kate middleton situation but i'm in i find myself in a pickle these days as the one minute man one minute man news network the most reliable news network on the internet trademark um you know your boy loves a good

conspiracy theory yes you know i keep that tinfoil on. The problem is when I get going with these things for fun and entertainment, I then get lumped in with the actual crazies. The consequence of my own actions, I understand. But what starts out in the beginning of me being like, yo, something fishy is going on here. Then the real crazies come out and I'm like, well, all right, it's not like that. What do the real crazies come out and i'm like well all right it's not like that you know what is the real crazies think it is currently um so like there's there was this one account uh these two girls that were doing it that gained like a lot they have uh where the fuck is kate middleton is their series called is what their series is called and i think that part 27 they're at 27 reels and they all have like 1 million 2 million 5 million 4 million views

like they're crushing it but they also over the last two weeks are kind of just like grasping at shit now because they got these numbers you know i think there's something up but uh they and this one's not even all that far-fetched but they're just just like – it went from like she's fucking – there's this problem. No, wait. We're pivoting over here to it's an affair. No, wait. We're pivoting back to this thing. I think something's up.

Surely. It's been two months, right? Yeah, but the thing is – here's the thing. So she had surgery. She was last seen on Christmas, had surgery in January, and they said she had an abdominal surgery. She will be back on March 31st. Now, if March 31st comes and she's just back, then it's like, we fucking told you guys. Yeah.

But every action, the palace, which is funny. It's like, what does that mean? The palace? Is there, like, a guy with a phone? You know what I mean? Like, who is it? Is it a PR team? Is it a fucking butler?

I would guess it's a pretty large team. Is it a, is there a, you know, like, one who is it is it a pr team is it a fucking butler is it a is it a is there a uh you know like one person who runs these accounts you know like the palace it's just it's as mysterious as jackie and uh like they put out these fake pictures and then kind of doubled down if they just stuck to it like yeah we told you she's getting surgery yeah yeah and it's pretty heavy and like she doesn't want to be seen for, like, you know. Some people are speculating she has a colostomy back. And that's embarrassing.

Whatever. She just said that. But they're like. And they put out fake Photoshop pictures. And they put out tweets saying, like, from Kate being like, yeah, it was me Photoshopping. It's like. But my main thing. But it wasn't Kate who said that.

The tweet was allegedly Kate. But the tweet was signed C. Yeah, Catherine. Oh, I thought her name was a K. Yeah, it's Catherine, but C-A-T-H-R. I see. Okay. My thing is...

Kate Middleton's not with a K? Well, Kate... Kate is... Because a lot of people don't do C-A-T-E for Kate. So her name's Catherine, but she switches it for the... That's weird. It seems weird, but... I've definitely seen it, yeah.

There's pretty few C-A-T-E Kates. Yeah. But I just thought that you don't go by Kate. Right. I didn't realize you switched the first letter. Yeah. That's a little bizarre. I agree.

I agree. It's almost as crazy as calling yourself Dick if you're Richard. One of the craziest things that all of humankind ever agreed to. Someone was like, I'm Richard. Should we call him Rich for short? Richie? No. Dick.

And that person was like, yeah, okay, cool. When that happened, were those people in fourth grade being like, I'm Dick? That is the craziest thing of all time that's crazier than jackie with the homeless guy like if you if you are nine years old being like nice to meet you i'm dick your parents never gave you a shot my thing with this picture they posted it on mother's day in the uk it's a different do it in march if she's like this then you can't go back to the like the surgery was difficult and she looks bad you know what i mean but who's like why does it have to be a current picture because they said it was they said this is a car they said they were like they were like look kate celebrating this is

kate celebrating mother's day they say today um i mean i don't know like people post pictures with their parents on Mother's Day when they weren't with them. True. I think this was at least heavily implied. Because I think the palace was like, look, she's celebrating Mother's Day. She's fine. But it's like, if she is okay to do that,

then she would be okay to... You can't then go back to like, oh my god, the surgery was so terrible. She's bedridden. Cause she's clearly not. Yeah. Or,

you know, she looks terrible or whatever. It's like, if you're trying to pass this off as true, then you've lost the other lie. They're just very bad. Like, I don't,

some people are like, she's fucking dead. So, you know, all these crazy things. I think it's just amazing how bad they are at PR when their whole thing is just being PR. The entire thing. But, like, also, like, people going into, like, these Photoshop's.

Like, I imagine if you break down every picture the pal has ever posted, there's a lot of Photoshop. Totally. And, like, some of these things. I imagine there has not been a unaltered photo ever posted to that account. Which is, like, that's a lot. That's most of the accounts on the internet. Like, most people post pretty Photoshop pictures. account. Yeah. Which is like, that's a lot, that's most of the accounts on the internet. Like, most people post pretty Photoshop pictures.

Right, right. I think this was more like, I saw someone break it down being like, people into the photo, you know what I mean? Like,

like, I don't think that picture of the kids like, like that, like exists. It's almost like the whole thing was fabricated, which would be

crazy. I saw someone like being like this look you can tell this is her cover like some other pictures the vogue magazine it's like well yeah it's her face yeah but that one did i heard that one you know really exactly the same i know but it's like it was like this face and like everything around that it changed and it stayed like perfect but it's her face yeah yeah but i mean her face yeah it's like well if you put like like another if you're like this is actually robert downey jr it's like well yeah that like but it's yeah it's with k milton yeah

you're right but i think i think it would be weird to have two pictures of like the exact same like angle and all that but i also in fact i don't think these when you look all that much like yeah i think when you actually break it down, like, there's, like, different makeup and shit like that. But the video that they were, like, putting out there

was, like, it looked like they just, you know, changed everything around that woman. That's the thing with conspiracies to me, that those people

are, like, making alterations. So that was my point, is, like, then it becomes, like, I'm down to ride. And I do, I think it's just crazy that like the queen dies. The king is like almost dead.

Like he's dying and he's going to probably abdicate. And then like all then all of a sudden they're happy. Like it's too coincidental to me that like all this shit is going on when she's like about to ascend to be the queen you know what i mean it just feels like some shit's going down because everything else is like hectic and and crazy uh that like all of a sudden this is the only time she's ever had any sort of like disappearance is like right when everything's about to happen that just seems probably unlikely to me but they also say that william's got a side piece and she was like i'm not we're not doing this unless you like cut

her out of our life but she's kind of a royal too and they're like we can't really do that because that like she already has kind of her own power it seems like a fucking mess over there bro i don't what's that all about she uh she She's like Lady Hamburg or some shit like that And it's been rumored like forever That like him and William was like at a nightclub with her once And like got caught a couple times like In a situation where it's like I mean I guess they could be friends

But I don't know about that It's you know It's more likely that these are people who've been married Who probably don't like each other anymore And are, like, fucking other people, except it's all extremely heightened and crazy because they're on a global scale. And she probably is, like, you know, this shit sucks. But, I mean, there's a million different ways, you know, conspiracies that are floating that are like ranging from like i could see it being like you know uh she doesn't like this other bitch being in her life ranging to you know she's in a coma and shit like that uh but either way

the the pr of it all what would you do like if if if you had a prominent position like this, like, what would be your PR move? I think I would just stuck to the surgery. I think, yeah, I'd just be like. That's what makes me think that she's not coming back on March 31st, and they're like, fuck, we got to do something, you know? I don't think I would. I mean, it's hard to say. Like if you were in whatever position and you were gone and then like the first thing you posted on Instagram was like a Photoshop picture. And then the second thing you posted was like some weird tweet being like, I was just experimenting with Photoshop.

I'd be like, what are you doing, dude? What are you doing? I don't know. I'm not saying what is happening or not happening. But I'd be like, are you doing dude yeah what are you doing i don't know what like i'm not saying you know what is happening or not happening but i'd be like what is the angle here and so the fact that the the the royal palace was like again their entire thing is just like how do you appear to the public that's all they fucking do is basically relate to the public and their public relations is terrible there was a tweet that was like it wasn't it's not colonialism it's not racism it's not pedophilia that took down the monarchy.

It's TikTok and Instagram because they don't know how to fucking run these accounts and they don't know what people – how people are going to react. But yeah, I – my hope is that she's doing some gangster shit like with the – being like, like I'm about to be queen. So like we're doing shit my way disappears. I'm hoping for like real life Game of Thrones type shit. Like if it would be like, you know, the season premiere season finale of episode four is like, you know, what's her face? Tyrell like runs away with the fucking dragon and is hiding and they don't know how to get her or whatever. But this shit has people captive hated people. Are you a Royals girl at all, Jackie?

Not really, but I'm interested in this yeah this one seems to break out of the the general what why i like her she used to be a cool it is it is crazy just that like like kate middleton has to be back before some some deadline your wide receiver does like a month and a half is not long to disappear for surgery. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're fucking running back. You're like, all right, he's gone six months. We'll see him then. Totally. But again, that's why I would just be like, yeah, no, listen, she had surgery.

We already fucking said this. That's what makes me think you're lying is if you couldn't just stick to your original story when it was totally plausible. But they didn't change the story. But, like, the story. But like the... Yes, but the... As far as I know. All of these, the pictures and the Photoshop tweets, like

were all in an effort to be like, look, everything's fine. And they're making it worse rather than just like... If it was me, I think like the tweet from Kate would have just been like, you know, I've seen what's going on in the internet. There's crazy speculation. Like, we just want to reiterate i'm taking some time to recover from my surgery that would be a lot a lot better of a way to handle it then look at this photo i'm fine

oh wait no i did photoshop it but that's just because i'm an amateur photo photographer like what just be like like this is one of those things like like everyone like like climbing on like instagram out of the community notes that picture being like this is Photoshopped. Oh, that's the one you said? Yeah. Now we're going to do that? Yeah. You can do that to fucking a million pictures.

That's bullshit. That's fucking – if I'm King Middleton – Altered photo slash – that's your fucking feeding into everything. Yeah. Like – yeah. Okay, Instagram, I dare you to start doing that on every altered photo. You've got a business in a week. I guess there's a difference, too, though, of, like, this picture is fabricated versus, like, it's touched up or altered.

But the amount – people were like, look at the wheels on her car. Like, the spokes are exactly the same. And I was kind of like, I think that's probably how the spokes are. Yeah. They're all probably lined up. They always just go in a circle and fucking line up that way i i don't know man people were saying i thought it was interesting like the the way that she's i mean a wearing skinny jeans and b crossing her legs like after abdominal surgery apparently like you're not supposed to wear anything tight and like you're not supposed to like cross your legs i don't know how true that is yeah i mean that that's also where people become doctors they become photograph experts

they become you know everything but uh man this life sucks huh like you can't what i loved about her is she was a down-ass bitch when they first got together they would they were there's pictures of them shit face together type in like kate princess william drunk there's pictures of them shit-faced together. Type in like Kate, Princess William drunk. There's pictures of them in the back. I'm like, Uber is like, ah. The one picture I thought was real, it would have been the greatest picture of all time. You've seen the picture with the king?

It's him with his shirt like open. They're on like a balcony, and she wrote king in lipstick on his chest. No. And apparently it's like a photographer who, her shtick is that she basically fakes those kind of pictures. But I was like that would be the most gangster picture of all time. And they were there young and drunk and partying and she's like, you're going to be fucking king one day.

I've seen that. But like they are – they were booze bags. She used to get after – that girl enjoyed a pint or three. So, I mean, people, March 31st, people are going to be like, it's going to be like the Y2K countdown. It's also funny that it's like they said like she'll be back at Easter, which makes more sense. But now people are saying, when's Easter? March 31st. So they have like a deadline where it's like, what, is she going to pop out at midnight? Like, you know, she's probably going to do some Easter shit.

Well, what if, I don't know, the Easter plans change? You know, if it goes to April 1st, people are going to forget about it. It is just weird that people – They're going to be like, she's dead, send in the authorities. As a collective, people decide we deserve these answers. Crazy. Like, why do we – why do they owe it to us? I think it starts out as like the Britney Spears thing

like people are worried there are people who are obsessed with her to the point that they're like this is like Princess Diana she's like it's unsafe all that shit and then it turns into you know we haven't seen you in public you owe it to me where are you like tell me where you are

when you tell me I don't know the like outrage not outrage, outrage is a dead word but like everyone the expectations I was trying to find the original Instagram post and it's like we must know where Kate Millen, why?

why must you know? she's probably just doing, I don't know it's also an Occam's razor thing she's probably just doing something it's't know, like, it's also an Occam's razor thing. She's probably just doing something, like, it's probably close to the truth. And then that picture of Photoshop got weird. I think the only thing that's a little bit suspect is the kids have not been seen at all. And I was trying to think, like, if I was going through surgery and, like, in hiding, you would still see, like, my kids with the nanny and shit like that.

So some people think that, like, she's, like, in mama bear mode. Like, I'm gone and I'm taking the kids with me nanny and shit like that so some people think that like she's like in mama bear mode like i'm gone and i'm taking the kids with me maybe because that that i could be like well okay you're in hiding for or whatever but like why your kids are also with you yeah in this in the hospital or whatever i also like i don't know i don't ever see the kids i don't know yeah well these there are the people who like the royals are like – I think the Royals' stands are like – they make the Kardashian's stands look like a child's play. Because there's at least some – there's this air about them that they have to act in a certain way. If Kim Kardashian does whatever she wants, she does whatever she wants. The Royals is like, you're not allowed to wear that hat at Easter.

And she is. But yeah, I'm circling April 1st on the calendar. I just want to watch the UK burn if this chick doesn't just show up. Or if she does and she's just like, happy Easter, motherfuckers. I'm the motherfucking Easter bunny. It's gangster to come back on. I rose. I'll make my debut on Easter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Roll the fucking door out I hope You know what I hope she does I hope she rolls into Easter brunch With like another dude on her arm And she's like

I told you I'd be back This is the guy I'm fucking So yeah We're all on Kate watch I think I have one other thing before I have one thing I think I've cracked a code everyone's incessantly bitching about tipping yeah that is a big thing all that stuff

if you are somebody who works a register yeah and you have the automatic tip thing tell me hit no tip oh buddy 30 30% coming your way. Every time. Every time. You think I'm going to no tip you because you told me? I think, shout out to the people who work at CashRestore. I think they're catching on to the nuisance and they're hearing the uproar. Because I had someone, they just reach over and hit no tip. And that way, I'm not going to smack your hand away.

But if you tell me hit no – hit no tip and just sign. Oh, no, sir. Nah, dude. I'm not hitting no tip. Can I put in 50% on that? That is – because I won't complain. I'll be like, what a guy that was. Yeah.

Yeah. Not only – it's twofold. It's like not only was that like a good move by you, but it also kind of challenges me. What do you think? I can't tip you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think I can't was that like a good move by you, but it also kind of challenges me. What do you think? I can't tip you? Yeah. You think I can't afford $2.15 extra? Yeah.

Yeah. How about double that? You're talking crazy. Come on. You did so much while I walked around carrying all this stuff and put it here. I do. It's a lot. There's a lot of tipping culture complaining.

But, I mean, yeah, find your ways around it. And if you tell me, no tip. That is a smart one. That is a very smart one. Big old tip. KC Radio is sponsored by BetterHelp. And all of us here at KC Radio wish that we had a little more time in our lives. It's the most precious of all commodities.

The question is, time for what, though? if you had uh unlimited time what would you do what would you do with unlimited time find out what's happening with kate middleton probably uh the best way to squeeze that special thing into your schedule and to know what's important to you and to make it a priority and that's where therapy can come in to help you find out what matters the most to you, what you're going to do with that time, and you can do more of it. BetterHelp is the online virtual mental health giant at this point who has conquered the whole industry because they have the best doctors available in all different forms. You can text with them. You can call them.

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One of the funniest guys out there. He absolutely fucking smoked DJ Envy in the Breakfast Club in New York. I think it was like right after our interview he went to the Breakfast Club. Did you see that? You know DJ Envy? He's a guy in New York who he started to like he was having a conversation with Charlamagne about like comedy and

Envy tried to jump in and he was like, I'm not talking to you Envy. We're not talking about like trying to flip houses and scam people. The guy got caught doing that and he went like, oh, sorry, sir. He was crazy. He just smoked him on that. So we got Donald Rollins. We're getting into our voicemails.

First, Bruno Mars, though. We don't talk about Bruno. $50 million in debt at the Wynn or wherever, somewhere in Vegas. MGM, I think. Jim Graham. MGM, I think. Jim Graham. MGM Graham.

50 million. I don't care who you are. That's a problem. You're in some trouble. I've heard stories of celebrities who, especially in Vegas, you get in trouble with your gambling, and then you're like, just add another date to our tour there. Yeah.

And you make it back. You can you know a million or two bucks because like a million two million dollars because i'll just sell out your arena your theater your club whatever it is again and again 50 you might be in you might be in some trouble mgm i mean this is the hotel we stayed in that's right yeah they could use 50 million dollars yeah yeah that's also the thing too is like we're not talking about i mean no casino is going to let you just run up 50 million and not be affected by it but they're not like the top dog where they can be like yeah we let this guy slide on 50 they need a meal the whole week yeah it doesn't look good doesn't doesn't it's not the the most enjoyable places so maybe that's the problem is they let people just run up $50 million bills

and don't actually cash in on any money. I also feel like this getting out is like, I mean, I guess when it gets to 50 is when people stop protecting you because the whole thing, I feel like, is these guys keep it quiet. You can come. You can gamble. People won't know about your winnings or your or your losses because i'm sure people have you know they're hiding it from family and wives and the public and and all that shit so the fact that it's just like we know this is crazy dude bruno mars is the fucking man love him

dude imagine this little guy just run around his story he's got arrested for doing coke and 50 million in debt. That's my guy. That's my fucking guy. Can you imagine him just being like, you know, doubling down some fucking blackjack, being like, all right, the hot streak's here. We're going to dig out of this $50 million hole.

How does that, I mean, what's his net worth? What do you think Bruno Mars' net worth is? I don't know. I have it, but – I would say $150 million. I wouldn't be surprised if it was like – $175 million. $175 million. I was going to say $200 million.

I mean, $50 million out of $175 million is – you know what I mean? We're not talking about fucking Zuckerberg here. I mean, you still have, at the end of it, $125 million. Yeah, but you never know, like, like what you're talking about like liquid and shit being able to like pay off 50 mil is no i'm not saying i'm just saying like once he does he's okay yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i guess in that sense it's you know if you were to to to what's that you know a quarter of your money almost i don't know you lose a quarter of your money it's not great um because also you know if you live this lifestyle of 50 million dollar debts like 125 probably doesn't cover it all when you're because of the way he lives you know if you're

willing to to let it rip on i would love to know like what his uh what his game is. Bruno Mars I also think is maybe I'm wrong crazy underrated. Do people think of him as a pop guy? Underrated? I don't think you can be underrated and play at the Super Bowl. Yeah, I was going to say he's pretty big. But I get what you mean. I think people think of him as

I'll take a grenade for you. Silk Sonic, that album is. That one, you can say that's underrated because that didn't. That's one of my favorite albums in the last five, ten years. That album's unbelievable. Yeah, that's where I think you can say people don't appreciate what he did because that was like a soul R&B, you know, creation, collaboration. But,

but I mean, he's got, he's got hits. He is so small. So small, dude. He is a little, little tiny man.

If he's listed at 5'5", you know he's 5'3". Which is crazy. Jackie, what's the lowest you would go? He could make all that money back. Just walk around the MGM Grand Gala and guess how tall I am.

Five bucks. Guess my height. Is that Taylor over there? Yeah. This picture is crazy. Oh, my God. That can't be real, is it? Her legs are extended there, no?

I'm sure it's angle. Yeah. Instagram's going to throw an altered photo warning on that. I saw. Oh, my. No, no, no, no, no. They made Taylor look nine feet tall there. That is a great one.

Do you guys know of the storyline, if you will, and the rash of pictures of Dave looking like a midget? Do you guys know all those ones? Somebody sent me a picture of Dave in the pink, the purple penny, when he's holding the two basketballs, when he did the double dribble challenge. And, I mean, he just looked like such a midget. And then I saw the blog about it, and it was like, it actually really, I mean, that's amazing.

Millmore did such a good job with the Photoshop that are just enough to be believable that every time I was like, no fucking way. That one's real. There is a Photoshop version of the Golden Great Bridge one where he's like really small. That one's not real. I think that one's real. He's so tiny. Is that you in the street? No, because I wasn't there. Oh, is that Whitney? i think that one's real he's so tiny is that you in the in this

no because i wasn't there oh is that whitney i think that's caleb hank dan and looks like gas to the left oh it's gas okay then maybe it is real i thought that was you kevin that's kind of like me um there yeah but that's that's the game those guys play quigs in them where it's like always just enough um but their blog he wrote was like it just it really made me long for for the blogging days where you know now everything's like a video where you're defensive or a podcast where you're yelling and it's all argumentative and shit and like the blog was just like i'm gonna address this topic but i'm gonna do it in a very funny way and people are gonna laugh about it and i actually would just make a peaceful time in that say the peaceful time peaceful time. Because now I would say the realest things are blogged out.

The realest are blogged. What do you mean? Like the realest beefs happen on a blog. True. I think that's also – it's a little bit of a indirect way to – When we did the other day, when we did the like Chicago, New York nonsense, Nate was like, will you blog this? Yeah. And I was like, on a blog –? And I was like, that reads differently.

We're just having a conversation, talking. What did you think of blog accountant Francis? What do they call it? Never mind. I would agree with him. I think it's one of those things that both people are right. So if you don't know, Francis wrote a blog saying Barstool blogs are not long enough and that most of the top bloggers, which we measure by like number volume of blogs,

are a lot of times just being like Jersey Jerry is golfing until he gets a hole in one and you just embed his tweets and be like, this is crazy. Yeah. And then that gets a lot of clicks and you're the number one blogger of the week. Whereas, you know, especially Francis will write like a, you know, it's almost like a chapter of a book where he takes on an angle and like makes up a, you know, a theme and all this shit.

I think like, so you can so you guys can relate to this, I'll equate it to the NBA. I think the two-point shot has kind of disappeared. The mid-range jumper? Yeah. Yes. I think it's either a slam dunk, like, here's Jerry, or it's a logo three.

Like, back in the day, we used to do – like, there were times it wasn't as often because Twitter wasn't as big and all that shit. Like, it wasn't like this has to be on the blog immediately. It was basically like Sunday NFL games. You had to have something up after the game. Yep. Or playoff games. Yep.

And it would be a much shorter blog, but there would be effort put into it. So I would agree. Everything doesn't have to be as long as Francis's, but I would agree, like, throw a little something in there. And the argument being argument being like people aren't coming to read that true but make them happy they did yeah we also used to i used to uh post like right away and then you go back and add you know what i mean like get something up that just has your immediate reaction and then also you know then you start you start to add and press publish so that everything grows. So by the time you got that blog up right away, but 15 minutes later, it's like a full blog. And like sometimes the funniest thing you can do is have one line.

I mean – But like – if that's the funniest thing you can do, sure. But if the one line you're writing is like, here's Jerry Swing. That's stupid. Yeah, I mean I wrote a one-word blog once. It was a guy who killed himself in the holding cell and then they said not guilty. And he thought he was going to be guilty and he like somehow killed himself in the jail cell. And then they – like the jury was like, no, you weren't going to jail.

And I just wrote whoops. And people loved it. People loved it. I wrote one word, and that was up for 40 minutes. We used to do it in New York. You guys used to do half hour. 40 minutes of work. I just said whoops.

But it was enticing to be like, can I do that again somehow? Does this look like the face of yup? Yes. Yes. That was a great one. could you could only use that like sometimes it was like a good um but it did dave just being like once again the internet is like running amok with rumors that i'm short and like he did the danny boy cane in no in no shape in no way shape or form uh was i ever this short i'm 5 10 he did say something like a medium and i was like that's i mean dave objectively dave is i think a either average or above average height i think

and he's 5 10 and i think average is 5 9 technically above average um he just happens to work at a you know giant company there was a couple. Remember when Dave was like, and his fan base really was like 13-year-olds for a while? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was funny because he was constantly with pictures of children. Yeah. And he was taller than them, but barely.

And it was always just like, you're with these little kitties all the time. But it was just, I don't know. It was a different time. And it's – I'm sure it's romanticizing the past and all that. But it was like those blogs always were good. Dude, speaking of Francis, you mentioned – I watched the full video. But the clip in particular, him and Dana, they have to keep doing that.

It's unbelievable. What was it? Him just teaching Dana. Oh, yes, yes. Yeah yes yeah you're just like i'm doing a video did you did you watch the clip i didn't pull up pull up just do you have to pull the video go to my twitter because i quote tweeted it fairly recently i saw i saw the clip of when dana didn't know the word like skirt or something yeah that's what i mean yeah okay yeah i did i kind of saw play that again the ending of the clip is so good so francis did a series where he's working on a series where he's just gonna teach dana oh it's

dana's things yeah here's me teaching dana elementary math because he's stupid it's so fucking mean uh okay i let her rip like i know stuff but i don't does that make sense nope nope i have an interesting brain where i can sit down and I can name you the 10-man rotation of every NBA team. I think that if I had spent as much time shirking important... What is that? Not doing. Avoiding. Shirking. Yeah.

That's not a word. It sure is. It simply isn't. Is it like Shrek, but just E and R switched? Shirk. S-H-I-R-K. So close to Shrek. Do you need to relate it?

No, I don't, but that's where my head goes. Or smirk. Smirk. This is how your brain works? Yes. That looks like this. I wouldn't call myself dumb. I would call myself weird.

I think dumb's fine. Yes. Dude, I watched that clip. It's very hard to get me to go watch a video i went watch it's fantastic it's like seven minutes it's great this is where perfect example and it's not always easy but in this case it finally like clicked like tell a lot of people a lot of times like do what you do right do what you're good at and it's not the easiest thing to be the Harvard, like, asshole because that's not the most likable thing.

But if you find it in a way, like, this is what he always should have been doing. And just talk to the dummies here and do it kind of in, you know, this arrogant way, but it comes across as funny. Dumb's fine. I think dumb's fine. So good. And, you know, you go from Dana, you do Marty, you do White Sox Dave. I think this is a Dana production.

I think Dana is having people teach him things. That's great too, but I feel like Francis needs to be a part of it if he has me. I could be wrong on that. I'm not sure. No, I mean it's on Dana's thing. Francis teaches me. It's on Dana's thing, but Francis said that he's starting a series with him. Okay, so it's the two of with him okay so it's the two of them i think it's the two of them but that's that's that's magic too yeah yeah that is the oh smirk like it has to work

it's actually speaking of dana did you see the other clip of them? I saw Marty and Dana. Rocky Man? Yes. Oh, that was great. When it just kept going. When they were upset that it went to like 64, and I was like, knowing that it goes to 256, and I was like, you're not even close.

No, it went to 1,000. Went to 1,000. What would they have won on that? It's literally like a 1,000 multiplier. You bet. Yeah, you bet. So they won 400. You bet like a couple bucks. Yeah. You bet. Yeah, you bet. So they won $400. You bet like a couple bucks.

Yeah. And you bet, I believe, where. But had they thrown like a $200 bet, it would have been fucking bananas. Man, that is – those two guys just sitting there dressed like astronauts or whatever. Magic, man. But that is – dumb's fine. Dumb's fine. That's right up there. Rip it.

Last thing, I experimented with it this weekend we gotta do it a little more officially Jackie I would love you involved for this but I painted on my eyebrows

this weekend oh wow oh wow that did not sound good the way you said that Jackie well I use like, it looked like a mascara brush, but it was, you know what I mean? Wait, but you didn't dye it.

No, I just painted them on. How'd it go? Because I got the same issue. No, you don't. What? In the summertime, big time. Summertime, maybe. But bro, if you look at your, you have eyebrows.

Yeah, but then they just go away in an hour of sun. Go away. Yeah, I mean, so that's – it started with me in the summertime. My skin would get darker. My hair would get lighter. But then as that faded, I would go back to pale. And then it wasn't even necessarily the hair change, but the contrast change. And then all of a sudden this year, it just didn't.

It just didn't come back. I think it stayed blonde and it went gray and probably some of it fell out as well so i had no eyebrows for i haven't had really no eyebrows for months now and uh i got them painted on and it was one of those things where it was like an establishment or yourself no myself yeah yeah yeah and my mom got my mom actually got it for me for my birthday it was like uh i don't know what they're called do you know what it's called is it maybe it's four eyebrows probably brow painter thingy like are you just talking like like was it a pencil or no it was like a mascara brush like it had the brush on the end okay yeah and then like gel but yeah yeah yeah i think so instead but instead of doing like

your eyelashes do you have a photo or do you want to see it live yeah um so i i but it's it's i think it'd be better a reveal i think it'd be better yeah i want to i want to be walking out of a room and me yeah and i also want to do it uh the the proper i want to do like the uh i think i want to dye. I think it's better. There's a little more risk involved if I just go on a diet. And I think Joey was going to do it, but Jackie, I would like you involved as well. So did it look good? I think it's impossible for me to judge because I think I have eyebrows.

Like if I close my eyes, I just like think I have eyebrows. And even when I look at myself, I'm like, I don't know. But then when – you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like my perception of myself is that I still have eyebrows. So I can't really quite tell. But I mean as I was watching, like I filmed, like as it's getting painted on, it's like it looks like you can see like a brown stroke. You know what I mean?

Like it is very clearly going from nothing to something. I don't know if it made that big of a difference, but that's one of those things I think it's pretty narcissistic to be like, what do you guys think? And it's like, I don't, it's your fucking face. If I pointed out before and after, you'd probably be like, oh, wow. But it's not something that is. But I do believe it might help me look younger. I think you just look weird when you have no brows.

You look like, and that just makes you look old. But I'm getting the patchy. I have gray patches in my beard. Did I tell that story about how the girl said, oh, yeah, I knew you from the gray patch? That was tough and then no brows uh you know starting to look like uncle leo so um it is like like if i if i photoshop a photo of you if i apply like any filters your eyebrows go away and it's inconvenient for me because it's like i'm trying to save the eyebrows but but I can't save them when I'm trying to shop it. I mean, there's one picture of me.

If you do KFC bar stool, no eyebrows. There is a picture of me from when I was doing a video about XXXTentacion. I mean, there's just no eyebrows there. That was just the dead of summer and like the peak of summer, I mean, there's just no eyebrows there. Yeah. That was just the dead of summer and, like, the peak of summer, and I just got nothing there. But what's also scary is when you start to paint on your brows, like, I realize that, like, there's, like, nothing on this side. Yeah.

On one of the sides, there's nothing here. On the other one, there's nothing there. I have that. Yeah, so it's like, oh, there's... I got Hitler eyebrows. What does he have? Just little ones in the middle? Just a little mustache.

Oh, you got Hitler's stache on your brows? That's great. So, yeah, we'll do a little... Maybe I'll dye the beard and my brows. Big time. I don't want to do it, but I'll dye the beard and my brows. Big time. I don't want to do it, but I'll – you know. The beard looks terrible. Once you have – I have brown, red, a little bit of black, a little bit of blonde in the summer, and now gray.

You're a mutt. You just – yeah, you look – it's like a – what is it, a brindle? I look like a dog that just has – A little rescue dog. Yeah, yeah. My face is a rescue dog. Yeah, like Yeah, yeah. My face is a rescue dog. Yeah, I'm really a rescue dog. Like parts of me have been like shaved off.

I'm just missing clumps of hair and the other part is gray and all mutt. And that's just me. So we'll see. But I also think the only worse thing is having like jet black if you do a bad dye job. So we'll do that shortly. That will if you do a bad dye job. We'll do that shortly. That'll be a project in the coming weeks. Let's get to these voicemails. Virgin Mary full of weed,

Hitler's balls, cocaine chickens, and a priest with a shotgun and a homeless man singing karaoke. What am I talking about? It's The Gentleman, the 70-year-old that Jackie talks to. It's Guy Ritchie's first series ever. So if you're a fan of movies like Snatch and Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels,

then you're going to lose your shit over his new Netflix show. It follows a new cast of low-down lords and ladies slumming it in Britain's criminal underworld. Guns out and pinkies up. So watch what happens when you try to play gangsters at their own game. Don't miss The Gentleman, now playing only on Netflix. Wait, one second. Are we recording? Mm-hmm.

Okay, I want to do something first. Sure. The episode's being recorded haphazardly today, but there's something I have that I'll be right back. Wait, yeah, just do it like, just do it. We don't have to do it like... Just do it. And we'll edit it in. Right?

Okay. Ah! Shot! Oh, boy. We doing like a taste test or something? Kinda. So I got everyone... You sound like me during the rat race. Got everyone involved. I'm serious. Salmon toast crunch. So I got everyone You sound like me during the rat race I got everyone a bowl

Of cereal Okay Cinnamon toast crunch I figured that was the most universally liked Everyone go with cinnamon toast crunch We're seeing how we eat? Is that what we're doing? No

It's way too much for that bowl But okay Are we putting milk in here? Yeah. Okay. Do you have spoons? Got spoons. Okay.

Bro, you are breathing so heavy. For you? You got to eat at the same time. My camera doesn't work. Is it a camera needing thing? Thank you. Oh, my God, bro. Jackie, let's swing that camera over here.

It's fine. I got you to come over here. I mean, what were you thinking? I don't know. You were carrying that like it was absolutely not going to be. I'll get that. I'll get that. I wasn't sure how I was going to handle this.

I've done a poor job. What's everyone think? I love spoons, but I don't know what spoons are. The spoons are the worst spoons in the world. Oh, my God. I got a parfait the other day, and I ran back to get more of the spoons are the worst spoons in the world I had to I got a parfait the other day and I ran back to get more of the spoons

I was like everyone's got to try these spoons these spoons are it's a bowl it's like eating them with a ladle it's a it works you get a perfect amount of cinnamon toast crunch and milk proportions you do

but then in your mouth I was at the airport the other day Bill proportions. Yeah, you do. But then, in your mouth, it's like you have to spit and pour. Yeah, oh, here's what I was doing. I was at the airport the other day, and I got a yogurt. I should have gotten you guys yogurts instead. And so I would fucking eat it. That's a big...

There's always like a little bit that you're not going to get. Yes, yeah. Yeah, I do get that. But with yogurt, yeah, with yogurt, the little bit you don't get isn't a liquid. So I would have to eat it, and then I'd have to turn around and lick it out. You're like eating out the ceiling. Yeah. That was crazy.

Yeah. All right, all in all, not worth it. All right, not even. You know what you could have done to this? You could have got spoons. You could have milled around this room like it was a championship celebration. I was just distracted by the cinnamon toast crunch. I thought it was going to be poison. I thought it was going to be like John makes fun of what we eat.

I like how I got everyone on their toes. I thought it was going to be something a lot bigger than, hey guys, big spoon here. Check out the spoon on that guy. If you're down to like this much, how do you eat it? Well, you just go spoon it away. No, I drink. You guys, bowl.

Do we have any towels here? And I spilled it on my shirt. And it's one of those things that's got like... See, I told you the spoon stinks! That's going to like stain for the rest of the day because it's got like a little bit of sugar in it. Yeah, yeah. So I'll just have...

You know what? Isn't that funny? I don't know. Maybe this is just a me thing. I get up in the morning, put clothes on. Obviously, like look at myself and see like, oh, there's like a stain or something, a rip. I'm like, okay, I'll change my shirt. But like five seconds into the day, if I were to like i'm just gonna wear this the rest of the day you

know what i mean like if i'm putting it on i'm like all right i don't want to have a stain on my shirt but if as i'm going to work something happens there's like well i have a stained shirt for the next 10 hours i don't know what to tell you sometimes i'll like see a stain i'll be like well what if i spilled it later in the day? My thought is like, I know that this was stained the minute I put it on, but you don't know. I could have been like, somebody bumped into me on the subway and spilled it. I'm just kidding. I don't know if it was on the subway.

It's one of those things. It's like, you worry about it, but I would not, unless you look like a slob, I would never give a fuck about you having a spot on your shirt. No, and most of them you notice that no one else does. Everything, though. But that's why I change, is because I notice it and it makes me uncomfortable. So I've learned this, too. I've talked to people who have probably crippling anxiety and depression and stuff, and there's kind of like therapy speak and TikTok adages and stuff that are like kind of like therapy speak and like tiktok adages and stuff that are like

kind of those things like you know don't worry like nobody else notices you know right but when but i notice so i'm like i notice everything there's probably a lot more people out there like me so i think people are noticing but i'm not even oh you know i notice on myself i'm saying like i will notice things about other people you know know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, I think people do notice. Right. They may not care, but I think they do notice. You notice.

And you care. Yeah, yeah, right. Piece of shit. Yeah, right. I'm not going to, like, excommunicate you, but I'm going to be like, yo, you know, Jackie, your shoes are fucking disgustingly dirty. Anyway, Car Talk. We are officially the podcast of car listeners. Anyway Car talk We are officially

The podcast of car Listeners It doesn't make sense It makes sense to listen In your car But it doesn't make sense To do I guess

These people are embarrassed And they don't want to do Like around other people Yeah but it's also Where you think of it You just do it If you're listening to The podcast in the car

You're like I'll do one Oh You think that's it You think people listen And then get inspired Yeah Huh I never thought about that You think people listen and then get inspired? Yeah. Huh.

I never thought about that. You think so? I was actually just thinking about it. Why? Look at how many thumbnails are cars. Yeah. They pause it. I'm going to ask this question.

I never thought about why you would call into KFC Radio. I think of it more as like, I was out last night with my buddies. We all had this argument. I need you to settle it sort of thing. Yeah, but I guess people say that when that's the case. You say that also like you're having that conversation with your friends in the morning. You don't need another outlet. Like this is like I feel like when you're listening to podcasts. Yeah, these are things that are like in your head.

You're like something that's on logic. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Okay. That's good. I like that. What's up, guys? So if you are only able to listen to four years of music,

so for example, like 2004, 8, 11, 12, and you got to pick what four years you wanted to listen to, what years would you pick? I am a over-explainer when it comes to these things, but, bro, I got it. So for example, 2004 to 2008, 2008, 2012, I get what four years means. But bro, I got it. So for example, 2004 to 2008, 2008 to 2012. I get what four years means.

1998 to 2002, no doubt. What's in there? 1998 for rap is comical. It is probably as much as humans can take things for granted, we did with rap in the year of 1998. It's nuts. Outkast dropped to Quemm and I. Big Pun put out Capital Punishers. Jay-Z put out Volume 2.

Most Def and Tyler Quetley put out Blackstar. Juvenile put out 400 Degrees. Tribe Called Quest put an album out. Method Man had his solo album. DMX put out Flesh of My Flesh and It's Dark and Hell is Hot. That's crazy. Gangstar put out Moment of Truth. I think that's the best rap album of all time.

Fat Joe put out Don Cartagena. That's the most underrated rap album of all time. Cannabis put out his album, which sucked, but there was so much hype around Cannabis, so it was a big deal when it came out. And then on top of just like, Lauryn Hill put out her album, Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. It is, you know, Master P put out

his album for people down south when that started getting going. The He Got Game soundtrack came out, it was a big deal. Tupac's Greatest Hits. It's one year. One year, probably 10 all-time classic rap albums. And, you know, we can't get, like, one on that level now.

And then I would say 2002, if I had to guess, was, like, maybe a little bit early. But that's probably, like, the Nelly, like, vibe. Eminem had, you know, at that point. If you do 98 to 2002, get from slim shady lp through like the marshall mathers lp i think which is like all his best work i think uh obviously very rap heavy uh you know so on top for the for me it's all rap and on top of that i think that was a good era of like i assuming, good pop shit. I was thinking about this.

Like, what do you think the most versatile song, like if you could only listen to one song, what do you think the most versatile song is? Well, that's two different questions. I can only listen to one song or like, you can play this at any party anywhere, like, and it'll play. No, like you want to find a song that's going to capture every mood.

So like, if you can only listen to one song, you want a song that's like going to be good when you're sad but also i think i have the right answer okay what do you got some nights some nights is a great song wait what's some night oh my fun yeah yeah because it's it's it's upbeat but also if you're sad you could listen to it when you're sad i think you're you I think you want something that's sad and happy. That's your main thing, right? Yeah. I could see that. But also sit too?

Yeah. What? Call Me Maybe was a good one. My brain just automatically goes to Call Me Maybe. Call Me Maybe is the greatest song of all time. I think Call Me Maybe is the greatest song of all time. I think Scenes from an Italian Restaurant by Billy Joel is the greatest musical composition of all time. Yeah. Because that also has three songs in one, basically.

You have upbeat and slow. Bohemian Rhapsody is kind of... I hate that song. I never liked it, but it does have three songs in one. I know, but when they all suck, I hate it. That's one of those ones when that's the godfather of music for me. When I tell people I don't like that, they get, like, horrified.

And I, it's one of those things where it's like, I think I'm right and the whole rest of the world is wrong. That song is so fucking weird. Scalamouche! Scalamouche! What are we fucking doing, dude? I have a It's just a weird Fucking song Right

At the very least You have to admit that It's for It to be a universal song Is kind of weird You know That would be like a niche song The fact that everybody

Women Men Old Young Rock Rap Everyone's like Scala

Moosh Scala What I think I think I think that song sucks That's a great question Will you just ruin that song?

Good. That song stinks. I also think of it as, to me, it's the Wayne's World song where it was like, this is dumb, stupid. They're making fun of it, not like this is good. Yeah. What do you think is the most popular song that you hate? That Sammy Adams song.

Fucking, what's it called again? I heard it this week and I was like, I fucking Sammy Adams song. Fucking, what's it called again? I heard it this week and I was like, I fucking hate this song. I Love College? First of all, all night long.

Tread lightly. Sammy Adams is the homie. Oh, really? Bro. He's the man. Sammy's my best. He's so cool. He was at a bar

I was at this week and he played it. I was like, God damn, I hate this song. That's his biggest hit I wanna go all night longer All Night Longer is the best

You might be fired Pat Take this back Even if you don't like the song It's a great When that song's on Things are going well That song came on and you were just moping You're fine It's played every single night Things are going well Yeah You were That song came on And you were just moping No it's just like

You're fine It's played every single night Every single night Is that like Is that song having Like a revolution I don't think it ever ended To be honest

I think it like stayed It stayed And it's like How did it get out of like That's like the same thing As like the Katy Perry And like that era And the Kesha

And like all those songs Just died You're just You're just listing Awesome artists I was about to say You better slow the fuck down I was listening to Kesha and all those songs just died. You're just listening awesome artists. I was about to say, you better slow the fuck down. I was listening to Kesha.

You just said Kesha on me. If Kesha put out, what was her album called? I think it was like Monster or something like that. The one, Brush My Teeth. If Kesha put, what did you just type in? This keyboard icon.

Okay, but that was not like an attempt. No, no. He wrote like J-E-A-G-A. It's like J-E-A-G-A. I was like, what is that? If Kesha put out her big album like now, today, I think it would fucking smash TikTok on that. Here's a question. Do you think TikTok named TikTok

because of the song? It's spelled the same way and everything. I feel like that had to have at least played into it. Yeah, yes. I never thought about it.

I bet you somebody was lip singing. Like on Musical.ly they were doing TikTok a lot. And they were like, let's just call it the whole fucking album. What was the...

Who cares what the name of the album is? But Kesha is a fucking beast. She has hits. I mean, all she does is smash hits. Kesha and Pitbull, they got together on a few tracks. Greatness. Can you believe that this guy was sitting over there just being like –

I mean, it's like Kesha all night longer. It sounds like you had the best night ever What's your opinion on Call Me Maybe? Trash What? These are all like headache songs You're like on like your Oh you're a headache

How about I'm gonna give you a headache And smash you with that ukulele This is my greatest fear though This is like We're obviously old But I do think we're right smash you with that ukulele this is this is my greatest fear though this is like you know we're obviously old but i do think we're right this i mean like call me maybe it's the greatest it's the greatest possible time it's like call me maybe it's not and bye bye bye uh that's a strong three it's a strong three did you see n sync on stage this weekend i heard last week i didn't see

anything it was uh I liked it. It was like the most mailed-in thing of all time. First of all, Justin Timberlake has a PR problem right now, brother. Big time. The comments were just like roasting this guy, being like, he's my new ick. That was the big thing. Justin Timberlake is my new ick. New ick unlocked.

Constant comments like that. And they were just like – they're just using uh he's just using in sync for like pr because uh britney stuff he britney kind of did him dirty yeah got an abortion at 19 like no fucking kidding though you know it's like you both have like a major career to go after right now like like how about no um his new album came out i i don't get people who are like this especially timberlake who put out like what was like third album like ever. Right. Fourth, maybe he's not a lot of hours in that. I don't think so.

Future sex love sounds. There's that country one. Whatever mirrors was on this one. I would guess five. I don't know. But but it's it's not a lot. I think I think you overlapped a couple on there because there's future sex love sound. There's justified future sex love sound and 2020 experience. I don't think therepped a couple on there. Because there's Future Sex Love Sound, there's Justified Future Sex Love Sound,

and 2020 Experience. I don't think... There's the country one. That's four. What's the country one? That came out like three years ago, probably. He had a whole album? Yeah.

What was that called? I forget. Anyway. This song is just very like... This album is just very like... this album is just very like, I just can't imagine being in the game this long and being pretty selective, and he puts out songs that are just like, that's a song.

It's just a song. It wasn't good, it wasn't bad. But you were in the studio and selected this beat. You used to have Timbaland and Pharrell and all this shit, and then it was just like, here's a very generic beat and a very generic Hulk and everything. It just seems weird to me to do that.

But anyway, they came out and did... First of all, Justin Timberlake was dressed like the NBA draft in 2004, 2002. It was great. The suit was just Tracy McGrady-esque. Big suits are in. Big suits. This was... Okay, but are you prepared to do an NBA draft suit?

Because it was that big. I had to see it. I bought a big suit recently. I want to see you in a big suit. Johnny Big Suits. Johnny Big Suits. You know what? But I've worn it in front of you and you didn't notice it being –

Okay, then you did not. Do Justin Timberlake – no, do Insync Reunion, Justin Timberlake. Oh, thank you. Again, just the worst Of all time Justin Timberlake Suit's gonna give you A billion fucking Things

I would think That would be a fair For Like if it was This weekend Weekend No No

No Play this You gotta find the song Go to the clip Right here? Because when you see him moving, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He looked like the NBA draft. The rest of the gang.

It doesn't look that big in pictures. That's a pretty fucking big suit. I would say my suit's the same size. Well, that's a big suit. You saw me in it. I mean, like, bro, there was a time where you would have, like, puked if you saw someone with pants that big over their shoes. Oh, for sure. Yeah. But just, like, what's what?

But you saw that in person and you weren't like, what are you wearing? Bro, the jacket almost down to his knees. I think that's a pretty comparable suit to what I wore to the Survivor Awards. Survivor whatever finale. But like these guys. That's fair. Yeah. Yo, let me just give a quick shout out.

Wait, is that JC? Yeah. He looks terrible, by the way. But I want to give a huge shout out to that guy because he was the star. Not the star. He was the star. Not the star. He was the voice of NSYNC. That's what people say. No, no, no.

That's real. But it's real, but it's like, yeah, that's not what this is. Correct. But I just want to agree. People are like, actually, Ariana Grande's got a better voice than Adele. That's not what defines greatness. He could dance. He just had the look.

Although I would make you argue. JC didn't have it. Okay, but I'll say this. Like, the flip side of that is, first of all, when you're like, I love this song, you like JC. You know what I mean? Like, he's singing all the bye-bye-bye. He sings like 90% of bye-bye-bye. Yeah, but I mean, you could say, I like this song, you like Max Martin.

Who's that? The guy who wrote them all. Sure, okay. But there's a difference. You know what I mean? Like, if you're listening to the song And you like the singing You like JC

Yeah but I think Speaking for myself Rarely when I like a song Am I like This is a great voice It's usually the beat The vibe of the song Yeah

The lyrics of the song But could you imagine If you're You're the big voice on the show Like genuinely I think like a great voice Most people agree with that And then And you understand the rules of the game i don't have it but then you look at justin

timberlake and what it was when he had like his weird like perm yeah jufro curls and like i'd be like wait what it's not me it's not like he's an ugly guy too you know what i mean like that there had to be a lot of nights where he was like, all right, well, we're like the biggest thing in the world and we're platinum and we're making money. But like,

are you fucking kidding me? I'm not the guy. How am I not the guy? And this is the guy. Like the only thing would be worse is if Chris Kirkpatrick was the guy. Then it'd be like, what the fuck? But those guys got on stage and it looked like they were just like,

let's do it again. And like, like they didn't have like, they weren't choreographed. They were just like, walk to this side. Walk to that side. Let's do bye-bye-bye. The voice stuff is, to me – because people do that a lot now, I feel like.

Actually, this person had the best voice. That to me is like when they go back with The Office and they're like, actually, Jim was the bad guy. It's like, no. No. I was there. I felt it. JC wasn't the guy. Yes.

Justin Timberlake was the guy. Yeah. And whatever it is because the dancing, the way they were on stage, whatever. Especially for – I can understand more of like the women when you're comparing like ballads to ballads because that is about the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This has never been about the same. Right. It's always about the dance and the music and the pop shit.

Anyway, I don't even know how we got here. Oh, because Pavs has terrible taste in music. Bro, Sammy Adams was a force. He was a true moment. A tour de force in New England and down to New York. I like I Love College growing up. What's that? I like I Love College growing up.

That was a good song. Do you know the album Boston's Boy? I know the album cover. Bro, it's very dating. Starting, like, then. Maybe it's a little bit early. But, like, in the last, like, decade plus, having, like, a full album that I like is very rare. Yeah.

Like, most albums, I'm happy if I like three songs off the album. And this was, like, you know, it was all, like, frat rap. But, like, it was good frat rap. Dude, I really liked it. The Walking on Broken Glass one was fucking incredible. It was incredible in Mozart. I had a moment with this album the same way I had with an ex-girlfriend who liked Impractical Jokers, which we were just talking about, where I was like, this isn't, I was like, that's not that good a line.

And the girl I was dating at the time was like, if it wasn was like that's not that good a line and the girl i was dating at the time was like if it wasn't that good why don't you write it and i was like well it's fucking better than what i just wrote which line was it i i honestly don't remember it was it was something from i think not one of the main title tracks dude i remember i i remember it so vividly we were in the car her little brother was in the car with us and like they were both going nuts and be like, this is so good. And I started getting jealous. Yeah.

And I was like, it's fine. You know, it's underrated the long way, that album right there on the third row. That also has a couple tracks on it that are – I think that's the album or an EP or something. Sammy had more than just that first album. He was – and I'm not saying – listen, I don't expect the hip-hop world to give him his flowers and shit like that. But in our era, in our area, it was like – it was him. I can't even imagine for you guys. New York was like – I feel like I almost was like Barstool brought it to New York kind of.

But like New England, Quinnipiac and that shit, forget about it. We had a Fugali where my buddy, I swear to God, the only thing he said, the entire Fugali, Maddie Trump! Maddie Trump! Boston's boy! And we would go nuts every time.

Maddie Trump was his producer? Yeah, I think he was the producer. Maddie Trump! It was like a call to arms. Every time he had a group of like 10 of us Yeah I think he's the producer It was like a call to arms Every time he said it We'd just chug a drink And start going I can't believe Pabst doesn't like this I didn't know he had

The juice like this And you want to talk about The juice When we were doing Stoolapalooza with him Or Back to Stool One of the two We did Back to Stool

With Sammy Adams Whatever Yeah One of the two we did back to stool with sammy adams we whatever yeah one of one of the like music festivals that that dave and boss and barcelona was doing with sam adams i think we probably got him for like 10 grand for like six shows whatever it was and i remember this is before dave you know became dave so we were not doing things with famous people we were not like doing big events or whatever and he was like watching sam how sam moves like backstage and green rooms and pre-parties and post-parties and he was like it's crazy really just like that that dude had the that area in the palm of his fucking hands man wait like why is he just like a really

well he's very handsome and and he pulled off, like, the white boy frat rap really well, and Barstool did, was, I think Barstool and Sam Adams had a very symbiotic relationship. It's like, we needed music, and he was the exact right kind, and he needed some promo,

and we were the right kind for him, and girls just loved him. I don't and we were the right kind for him. And girls just loved him. I don't think guys really, like, hated him. It wasn't one of those things. I mean, there's some. I'm sure there was jealous guys. Sam would be like, no, fucking guys hated him, I bet, right? Totally.

But, like, the overall vibe, I think, was more like, oh, I know, hang out with a guy like Sam. You know what I mean? That sort of thing. He was just like a booze bag, like, fr, I don't know, I know, I hang out with a guy like Sam, you know what I mean? That sort of thing. He was just like a booze bag, like, frat boy. There was some shit about, like,

I think he, like, fudged his numbers on iTunes. But that was never true. People were kind of suspicious. Yeah, that was, I think it was just like,

he was crushing, and he didn't, People were like, how? Yes, yes. I think there's a lot of jealousy in the rap game,

and the music game, and I think people were, you know, look at that, look at that picture with the blue jersey on there on the bottom right. yeah, you do shit, I don't know, people are gonna be like, fuck this guy, you know, look at that, look at that picture with the blue Jersey on there on the bottom, right? Like, yeah, you do.

I don't know. People are gonna be like, fuck this guy, you know? And I understand why there's, there's been a million people that I look at that and go, fuck that guy. By the way, my new, in my older, in my older years I've mellowed out a little bit and I've, I look at things from a different perspective. I try not to be too, too brash.

You know, the hater, the hater in me has, like I said, mellowed out, but still deep down in there, there's the irrational hater. I fucking hate Northwest so much. I fucking hate this 13-year-old girl. Miss, miss, miss. Oh, hater. Hater. I saw this. I fucking hate this 13-year-old girl. Miss, miss, miss. Oh! Hater! Hater!

I saw this. I love Northwest. Hater! Hate her. I am a hater who hates her. I hate her. I saw this clip that was like, Northwest addresses her fans at South by Southwest or whatever it was,

and I was like, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. She walked in and just like, Look, Northwest gives an interview. I hate it! I hated her song. I hate her album. I hate the name. Oh, I love the name. Nope, hate her.

Elementary School Dropout Classic. I actually don't mind the name. But I have to hate it. How old is she now? I want to know the exact... 10? 10. Oh my god, I hate a 10-year-old.? 10. Oh, my God. I hate a 10-year-old. I thought she was at least 13. I hate this 10-year-old. Like, more than I've ever hated any of the internet kids.

Like, anybody who's gone viral that I've hated. I don't like Northwest. Bro, it is so sick. Like, if anybody ever. What do you think is weirder? To hate a 10-year-old, to hate a 10-year-old or to sing a 10-year-old song? That's a great question.

I was just about to say, if anybody on a platform of my size ever was talking about how much they hate Shay, I would track them down and I would burn their house down and I would talk about how much of a fucking loser they are and they need to kill themselves.

And I hate Northwest. Also, I would go 03 to 07. 03 to 07. Any specific reason why? Well, I was debating between 04 and 08 and 03 to 07. What I'm basically weighing is do I get fearless at the end with 08 or do I get take this to your grave in 03? I'll be honest. If you're a Swifty, I think you should pick like now, 2020 to 2024. Yeah, but I want punk rock.

Right, right. But if you're talking Taylor, I think – But the bonuses I could get, like I want Under the Court Tree and Waiting. I want Take This to Your Grave. I want Black the Court Tree and Waiting I want Take Us to Your Grave I want Black Parade I want All Time Low has one in there

I think 020304 Did you get Blink in there or no? I think their last studio album the album titled Blink-182 was 03, I don't remember if that was their last one or not before a studio album. The album titled Blink-182 was 03. I don't remember if that was their last one or not.

What's crazy is these guys can't even pick ours. They wanted to. What's that? You couldn't even pick ours if you wanted to. No. Hey, KFC Fights gang. I got a little, I guess, a sketch idea for fights. I was thinking

since you guys have been in Amsterdam and stuff like that, it would be hilarious if you guys did something of how Amsterdam was before the red light district and all that. It plots super normal. I think it would be hilarious on the spin of how it was before

all that came to Amsterdam. Love to see it. Thanks. Bye. What? He wants us to chronicle Amsterdam? I'll tell you what. The greatest acting I've ever done since the sketch show started

is saying that's a great idea to people who pitch me. Ooh, I love that! Great, I'll talk to the team about it. I mean, listen, we've been to Amsterdam. We could talk about our experience in Amsterdam, but

I don't know. Everyone was drunk. They only drank beer. Did you just fart? It smells terrible. Sorry, I was going to try to hold it in, but that's not good. No, it's not good. No, not good.

It's on my tongue. Yeah. Did you have cereal? No, I didn't have any cereal. I actually haven't eaten today. Not good. Yeah, this is a bad idea. This is a bad idea with this guy.

All I know is they invented the stock market. Amsterdam? Amsterdam invented the stock market. Like the idea of it? They sold shares in the... Dutch East Trading Company or whatever it is. In the idea of it? They sold shares in the Dutch East Trading Company or whatever it is. In the East or whatever.

The trading company. They met the stock market and they drank beer all the time from morning to night. Because they didn't have potable water. That is all I know of what Amsterdam was. Funny stuff.

Wait, did he preface it being like, I know you guys went to Amsterdam with Bert? Or is that... I thought he said, you're going to be there, which we're not. We've been there. Yeah. Yeah, he said you've been there. So I think this guy is behind on muscle news because in this other one that he sent in, he is listening to Barstool Radio versus the Yak scheduling. I think that this guy is –

That's so funny to think about this guy not understanding the concept of time and just thinking we are currently embroiled. They're newly sent in videos, though, right? This one I checked. The metadata or whatever? Like when did he send this shit? He sent this March 13th. So good. So you're going to Amsterdam with Bert.

What? This does remind me a little bit, though, of my movie idea that i talked about yes where it is it's everything in the world is the same except flowers are edible and so it's like it's like for example it's like the beatles movie but like whatever and so like hot there's so many parts to this like i could go on forever i. I think about this a lot. Like orchids, for example, really high end restaurants would serve orchids. And it would be really expensive. And they would taste really good, probably.

And then like, you know, daisies would be like the McDonald's and whatever. But then it would get to soapy. And because then it's like, OK, now we're eating like consume, consume. That's all we do. We just eat everything. then it's like okay now we're eating like consume consume that's all we do we just eat everything and it's so pretty and again it's not a fully flushed out idea but it would be a pretty good spot like a lot of tulips is their jam yeah because he was saying what it would be like without the red light district, right? Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, and, like, would they taste – what would they taste like? And then, like, you can't just have, like, little flowers on the side of the road because it's just, like, free snacks for everybody.

Yeah. Jackie was pitching me and Paz's idea, and Paz liked it. And then he's like, so that's all you can eat? And Jackie's like, no, you can eat regular food. Well, yeah. I mean, it would just be, like – In addition to. In addition to. You can eat. And Jackie's like, no, you can eat regular food. Well, yeah. I mean, it would just be like. In addition to. In addition to.

You can eat flowers. Anywhere or just Amsterdam? Anywhere. And what's like the end of the skit here? No, this is a movie. This is a movie. This is a movie. Or honestly, like a Black Mirror episode.

Okay. Okay. And again. So what's the conflict that we're losing the flowers the flowers everyone's eating the flowers too much because we're not planting it's not my most electric idea

this is more of a Sundance film you just don't get it it's over your head this perhaps is for Khan we would just plant more flowers and eat them I I think, right? I guess that is a good way to go about it. But I don't know.

I don't know. Again, I'm not like the filmmaker. I'm the ideas guy. So that's my idea, and somebody else can run with it. That's open to anybody. That's an open source idea. I was going to say, we hereby sign off on any and all ideas

relating to the... What are we going to call this loosely? Like the name of the movie? Pabs, didn't you have one? Roses are red. Roses are red. Which he said that mic drop. Roses are red. What do red Which like He said that Like mic drop Roses are red That is the most

Average What do you think The best tasting flower is Great fucking question So I think that Like you would think Roses I think that roses

Would be really rich In flavor Because they're so I can also see Kind of being like Like the more Pigmented the The petal

The more flavor There is Sure But then i could see um also like again like a more expensive rarer one like taste is only kind of which and it's like brussels sprouts don't taste good but when you add salt and pepper how about those those those flowers that only bloom for like that 10 minute period once a year yeah the ones in crazy rich asians and then everyone just eats those yeah yeah um yeah yeah and yes yeah anyway that's just a little thing that was one of the best jackie ones ever

you know the world where they're eating flowers great stuff yeah all right one more hey ksc fights gang i got a little high thought for you, kind of, I guess. Oh, no, I guess it's kind of a question. So I was just thinking, and in science class, they told me when I was in high school that no matter what, you're never touching anything. There's always little particles or atoms in in between those who are never actually physically touching anything which is kind of weird but i was thinking if

you were to assault someone like get in a fight and hurt them bad they tried suing you you could try and fight against that you actually didn't physically hit them. There was something, there was a barrier in between. So I was thinking, like, what's the, I guess, what's the weirdest or dumbest thing to try and fight in court that's kind of like that? What is the greatest? He just asked us to become the best lawyers of all time. What's the greatest legal loophole you could think to get out of, I don't know, spitballing here,

filming your stepsister in the bathroom? I, first of all, never have heard this. Have you? I've never heard this either. I would venture to guess I am touching things. I would venture to guess that what he's talking about is definitely not real or true. No, I've heard it. You've heard it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like there's actually like a microscopic layer of like air. I'm going to challenge. I'll throw the challenge. I think that there's contact between my foot and the ground, between my hands and my body. Like I don't think there's any buffer. I would tend to agree with that. If you're telling me science tells me I'm wrong, I accept that.

But like I'm touching it and I feel it. I get what you're saying where it's me i'm wrong i accept that but like i'm touching it and i feel it i get what you're saying where it's like microscopic and blah blah blah yeah um but like because you feel pressure so i think it could be like the pressure of the i have no idea that but it could be like the pressure below the texture air and i feel the texture try to like text what is texture though it's just pressure at different points is that true i don't know but when i said it like you said it like but what is it but now that i'm feeling it i don't think it's maybe it is pressure at different points jackie i i honestly think i'm kind of dead on on that. Texture.

Very. But I can feel like the cotton aspect of it. But you can feel the raised. The raised. I feel the raised, but I feel the difference in these two textures as well. Like the cottons. And what is texture, really? At the end of the day. Because I could see it's just like, you know,

there's just more particles to... I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I just think orchids would be delicious. I just have to stop talking. I got nothing. I got nothing. Between Homeboy and Jackie.

I don't know. I closed my eyes and tried to think of like. They don't challenge you like that. I was like, I can't even. They don't challenge me like that. I'm in a mindless phase right now. Rip it, baby. All right.

Donald Rollins. Let's do it. The man, the myth, the legend. Donald Rollins in the building the man the myth the legend i mean maybe i'm very sensitive and i've heard people say i'm sensitive but when i hear like legend and onk and all that type of stuff i'm like just say the guy's over 50 well i can't call you onk if i started calling you onk that's weird the white guys can't do that. But I don't think legend necessarily means age. I think there's definitely a status to it.

You've been in the game for a while, and you're very successful, but I wouldn't say that just because. You wouldn't say it, but the streets. The streets are talking. I was going to agree with you, Kevin, but now I'm thinking about it more. No one says Patrick Mahomes is a legend. He's just great. Yeah, he'll be a legend. Brady was a legend towards the end of his career.

But let's not get it twisted. Legend is the fucking best term you can be. Yeah, but I would rather you say that when I'm dead. Okay, all right. All right. So what do you want to be right now, then? I just want to be— The great Donnell Rollins?

No, I just want to be. How would I say? I want to just be nice with it. Okay. All right. With it spelled W-I-T. Sure. Sure. Donnell nice with it Rollins.

I want to spell like they do on Instagram. Nobody. I said, yo, they said spelled D-E-Y. You know what I'm saying? I want to talk like that. I love it, man. I saw the way. I love the, man. I saw the way... I love the promo for New Day.

Now, don't record it all. You can do whatever you want, though. Yeah, but just scan it. I like to scan it. Okay. I feel like we got enough cameras. Yeah, right? No, we're trying out new ones

while we got some old ones that back up, so it looks a little ridiculous right now, but we got you covered. It's production, though. I loved the promo for New Day. It was very like, if you know me as Ashy Larry, if you know me from On the Road, if you know me from this show, that show.

And it felt to me like you were saying this was not a culmination, because you still have a lot. But I don't know, it just felt important. There was some grabbings behind it. The reason why I said that, because just people know me from different stuff. You know what I'm saying?

And I think I've had a pretty decent career. yeah brother but i'm like this and and because i know like all those other things what a lot of people don't know me from is stand-up yeah you know i mean so i'm like this if you're a fan because of those other things if and i really believe this especially with my live performances because a lot of times people say well he's good in movies he's good in skits or whatever but a lot of times that doesn't translate to a good stand-up. But the thing that I have the most pride in is how I'm as a stand-up. Right. So when I say that, not in a cocky way, but I'm like, if you like those performances or whatever, if you come see me live,

I really believe that most people, especially live, will become true fans of mine. Right. Because it's like, oh, not only is he a good good actor but he's a good stand-up too and at the end of the day acting is like that's not my thing i do it but it's not my thing i don't pay the bills by it you know i'm saying i don't have any control over my future with acting it's always going to be someone that says okay yeah we like it when we don't but with stand-up you know after 30 years that you can't you can't take that away from me you can't control me with it because the my real bosses it's not networks it's not corporations my real bosses especially in my case are people that's been following me telling the people yeah i mean

when you can when you can sell out when you have people buying your tickets like there's no the owner of the club can't do shit. The studio executive can't do shit. It's like the people are the people. And the people speak volumes when it comes to how they support you. There was, I saw you perform at Dave's birthday at MSG. Yeah. And I would say out of everyone, it was obviously a killer lineup. It was Shane was on it.

There was Aziz. There was Dave, obviously. A couple other people, obviously. But you, I thought, like Shine, you owned the room. You had to do the yams, potatoes. And it was, I hadn't seen you. I wasn't super familiar with your stand-up work. And everybody that was everybody um that was

on that lineup are funny in their own right yeah but it's just something i just have um and they're all funny like they're all my um peers and colleagues but i just have a different type of energy when i perform yeah and i've seen not the case with this but i've seen comments that have had like good careers or whatever did they get to a point where they stand up where it's just like oh i'm getting a check i'm just gonna i'm just gonna phone it in but every time i go on stage i really feel like i'm going on stage with the same anticipation and energy as when i first started doing yeah that was noticeable yeah yeah you could pick anything for i know a lot of people um in in the entertainment industry are like, I don't care how you know me, as long as you know me. Right.

If you could pick one thing, it's stand-up. I would like for them to know me from that, but I know that because of being a part of such an iconic television show, it's going to be so hard to remove people from where they first introduced me to. I was introduced to them and asked to do this Chappelle show. But at the same time, I keep grinding, man. You know what I'm saying? I hear people like, oh yeah, he fell off.

It's unfortunate, but sometimes we pay attention to the negative more than the positive. Always, man. Human nature. It's like, oh, he fell out. I'm like, okay, do I apologize for being part of one of the greatest sketch shows in the history of TV? Do I run away from or get upset when people call me Ashley Larry? But again, to your point, you know,

as long as you can identify me from something, I'm cool with it. Because me knowing that person from something means that, guess what? You'll buy a ticket and you'll come see me perform dude we've talked to a lot of people uh we've been very lucky to talk to a lot of successful people who have had an iconic role of some sort and almost to a man or to a woman the people who embrace it and are cool with it are like the ultra successful people and there's been a few people along the way who we've talked to who are like they're resentful of it

and they're like no don't call we're not talking about that in the interview don't bring this up please don't call me that or whatever it may be

and it's like bro that bought you a mansion that put you in the ability to do that next thing but not only that you keep grinding

until you find the next thing that does right right and also I love the, like, fall off. It's like, yeah, listen, if you were on the Chappelle show, anything you do after that for a little while is not going to be probably as high as the fucking most iconic, you know, sketch show of all time. But going back to what was earlier, it's like we do focus on the negative stuff. I know I'm guilty of it. I could go through comments.

I know we're not supposed to read the comments, whatever. I can go through comments, and I'm getting like, I love you, I love you, you're the greatest. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. That's like 200 comments. And then you get that one person, there's nobody trying to trick you, like, it was trash. And my whole day, I'm trying to figure out

how I'm going to attack and just wound this person. And I know I got to get better at that because I've heard it said like when you on your come up whatever, it's always going to be negative people that's always going to bring you down. And I know I got to figure out not to get triggered and don't engage in stupid stuff.

Come on, Unc. That's what an old man's supposed to say. That's called wisdom right there there We were just having a conversation About it For whatever reason No matter how successful you are How much work you've done The comments

And feedback And fans and shit still Find their way into your brain And it's crazy how much It's not an easy thing to just be like, I'm not looking at that. But it's both sides, too. It's like, you can't listen to the people who are just blindly loving you. You certainly can't listen to the haters. I almost think blind love is worse than blind hate.

Because, like, I remember Steve Martin quit stand-up because he was like, they're not laughing at my jokes anymore. They're laughing at Steve Martin. I can see that more quickly taking away your love for something. But then Steve Martin was kind of a... That's interesting

because he was a character that you wanted to laugh at. You know what I mean? Not in a disrespectful way, but the bow and arrow, that type of stuff. And that probably overshadowed his joke writing ability. But we all go through different phases in our career.

Like we're kind of too critical of ourselves. And for me personally, what I try to do is just, every time I go on stage, I just want to have fun. As much as I want them to laugh, I want to laugh on the inside too. I want to feel good about it. I want to feel good that I wrote a new joke like the night before and it worked and just keep on putting layers on it.

But it's kind of tough. Comedy is fun but it's very stressful and depressing. And people are like, why is it comedians are filled with so much drama? Smokey Robinson had a song where he said, people say I'm the life of the party because I tell a joke or two,

but take a good look at my face. Inside I'm crying. And it's like, it's tears of a clown. You know, I guarantee you, whoever the dopest clown in america is he's that way when you paint that smile on his face but if you take some water and wipe his face off that dude is probably dark pissed off and angry yeah having to make somebody feel good is like the toughest toughest thing sure i think i think uh robin williams said that like saddest people are the

funniest because they know what it feels like to be sad they don't want people to feel that way yeah you know i'm butchering it paraphrasing it but it was something along those lines and uh i always thought that was pretty pretty telling and pointing and all that well and obviously like it's supposed to be funny like and then i just want to say i'm dealing with childhood trauma and my father when he came and picked me up from school, I wouldn't be out here shooting these motherfuckers. I'm a murderer because of you, Dad. You never pick me up when you say you're going to.

Then you got to go from that to like, all right, come into the stage. You see them on Netflix. Give it up for the hilarious Don Airballs. Fuck you, Dad. So two guys going to bar. You got to figure out how to work it. You were saying how you liked trying something new, like something you wrote yesterday kind of deal.

We don't do stand-up. We do, but we do do live shows occasionally. And I'm wondering if this translates to stand-up. Sometimes I get almost a sick more enjoyment out of something do live shows occasionally and i'm wondering if this translates to stand-up like sometimes i get like almost a sick more enjoyment out of something that bombs because like where i'm like i know that first off first off i know you're not a stand-up comic right because bomb is the n-word for for comedians. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. Flush it out. You a bomber? Bomber or bomber? You know what I'm saying? Yo, you bomber,

Obama-ass motherfucker. No, like, as soon as you said that word, I just tuned out. I was like, oh. Really? And on top of my father not picking me up,

he wants to use the N-word on his show. He's trying to make me kill myself. No, but okay, say bomb. Go's trying to make me kill myself. Okay, say bomb. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. But there's something that doesn't elicit a reaction where I'm like, I was funny. I was like, I think it's funnier that they didn't think it was funny.

Bomb? Yeah. See, now you have like. As long as you know it's a good shit or whatever. And never try stand-up, all right? If that's going to be your energy whatever good and never try stand-up all right that's gonna be your energy never ever try standing bombing let me tell you something I was dating this girl some years ago right and we had a pretty like a long relationship and I saw the red flags that why it wasn't going

to work because we had just started dating and she didn't really know like comedy like that and we went to a spot and I uh I had a set that wasn't that good right and she didn't really know like comedy like that and we went to a spot and i i had a set that wasn't that good right and she said you bombed i was like she was like you bombed i was like i was like i was like first of all bitch um i don't bomb i said i might have had a set that wasn't as funny as the last one but bomb is an ugly word right yeah and i should have i should have been like this is over then then i went to another club I might have had a set that wasn't as funny as the last one, but bomb is an ugly word, right? And I should have been like, this is over then. Then I went to another club the same night for Redemption,

and I took another hit, right? See, I didn't use the word bomb, right? I took another hit. She said, you bombed again. I need to say that, at least she didn't work out. But I shouldn't have ignored it. But, you know, you have comics, and I call it, you have comics that are so used to their set being, like,

it's hit or miss. One day I'm good, the next day, or whatever. And then I never really liked those comics because what they do is they start writing material. I call it bombing material. You know, bombing material you know you know bombing materials like this this is the the hackiest bomb line you could say well i thought that was funny yeah but european is not important right now there's those people that's listening to it whatever but that's a tough one for me and i've had some sets that weren't um i just sold

against the word bomb. Like people like, so you remember the first time you bombed or anything? And I don't really remember that because I, it's like, if I have a bad set uses because of I'm in a situation that don't give me the opportunity to win. Like I'm in a bar situation where it's a microphone,

the cord is two feet long, I'm in the dark, the mic is not working, half the people can see me, half of them can't. But straight up in front of an audience where I got all the things to make it work, it's kind of hard for me

to not have a good set with that. So you know walking in, you're like, is it either going to go well or bad? I never feel bad. Do you ever generally to go well or bad I never feel bad yeah I never feel bad sometimes I might not be

in the best moods which could be kind of risky but I've learned how to one of my mentors years ago said Donnie we all go through problems we have situations he said but when you go on that stage, you put your problems to the side of the stage.

You go do your job, you're a performer. Then when you get off the stage, you pick those problems up and you deal with them. But I always go in to kill. I never have what if. Sometimes I might have a situation

where I'm not in the best mood, so it's going to take more work, but I always go in to try to murder a stage. If you walk in somewhere where you're, so to speak, set up to fail, where there is a two-foot microphone, where you're in a bar kind of deal, how do you choose to attack it there? Experience can help you with that. I'll give you an example.

When I first started, I used to do all the go-hard rooms. I was on the Chitlin' Circuit. It wasn't like, he's performing at the, you know, we call it the Black Circuit, the underground. When I first started, those are the places I would perform, like, comedy night. I wasn't doing, like,

if you want to say, the premier clubs. going back say the premier clubs, but going back to the experience part, I've had so many situations of when things go bad that I know how to handle those. A couple weeks ago, when my special dropped, and I was on a super high. My special came out.

It was in the top five, top ten for like five or six days. It started when it first came out. Top two. And then the next day of that, I went to Atlanta and T.I. has a comedy night, right? And it

is the most hood comedy that took me back to 1999. And when I say that they had the margarita machine going, you know, it was people that was ready for a rap battle, that comedy. It was dudes trying to pick up chicks and all that. And most people would have been like,

I don't want to do this. I'm too big for this. But I felt it was a challenge because it took me back in the time when I used to do those. And I assessed the whole situation. I was like, there's no light on the stage. But the advantage I have is I got a cordless mic. So if there's no light on the stage and there's light

everywhere else in the room, I'm not going to stay on that stage. And I also know about rooms like that. People try to get out on you if they can't be seen and there's no way for you to engage or see them them it's like walking around with me with a microphone in a comedy situation it's like walking around with a gun like what and people are totally different when they know you can get at them yeah you know

what i mean like they're like yeah stay right there when you're like oh oh my god he's coming close to me he can see me and then experiences experiences have taught me how to deal with some of the worst situations. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Like I know. I'm sorry. No, I'm just saying. It's like that in every other comic before me, without the experience, they were like doing two minutes of like, okay, I'm going to get out of here.

They were just throwing a towel in. I felt it would be a challenge. And I knew I had to rip because T.I., he know this room is not a room where a motherfucker does 45 minutes. Right. Right. And this is after 11 comics going. He was like, yeah. The show started at like 830.

I get there at 830. He said, you're going to do 45 minutes. You go on around 11. I was like, you ain't getting no motherfucking 45 minutes out of me i was like you'll get a hot 20 and if things go i'll push it but i was like i know i was like i i know i knew what i had to do and it was mission accomplished yeah and i felt i felt i felt better about ripping this hood room than going and standing up 12,000 people in the arena.

Really? Why is that? The reason why, because when you go to an arena show like that, and I don't do arena by myself, I'm with Dave, those people come to that, they spending good money, and they are out to have a good time. They want to laugh. This spot is like, fuck you, motherfucker.

Where my wings at, bitch? I said, fried hard. You know what I'm saying? It's more challenging. You can captivate that crowd. Yeah. And that's how I started. Even when I started working mainstream roles, people were like,

I remember one time, one of my friends, Ang angelo azado he passed away a couple years ago and you know the big deal in the comedy club the mainstream is you got to get past and the way you start the level you started you the first thing if you're introduced to a club and they don't really know you whatever if you get a break the first shot you get is called the check spot you know the check spot is no no the check spot is the time that they drop the checks oh yeah they pay up and that's it's a it's crazy then because it's you go from people like you go from people like laughing laughing laughing $80 what the fuck two drinks $80. I didn't drink all that shit. And he's like, my name is $80.

And it's like, it's a very tough spot. But that's what, and they look at it like, if you could work the check spot, then now you could graduate to the next level. And Angelo Azzato, we both, I'll keep it real, we worked the ghetto, the black rooms. I'll just keep it real. We both worked the black rooms.

But he had, I remember one day he was like this, oh, my God. He was nervous as hell. He was like, man, I got to do the check spot. I'm like, the check spot? I said, you do black rooms. I said, the whole night is a check spot. Like, the whole night. And he's like, fuck you.

And he was all nervous and when i said that he had us some calm okay he was like yeah you're right the rooms we work the rooms that we work it is that we i mean i'm talking about we work rooms where the host before they bring y'all's like he's saying stuff like all right in the back in the back y'all gotta get quiet listen up you know you need music and everything. But you do the white gloves. Boy, I felt so safe in white gloves. Man, because there was like, even the intro was like, you seen them around town.

It's all calm. It's like, black gloves, we need music. Like, for three years, my intro song was French Montana. Nigga, I ain't worried about nothing. Nigga, I ain't worried about nothing. Nigga, I ain't worried about nothing. And then I would do call and response, and it would be a white dude. I'd be like, nigga, I ain't worried about nothing. I'd be like this.

And they'd be like, yeah. Nigga, I'm going to fall back when I'm concerned about some things. There's some things that get me upset. And then I'm telling you, man, when I started doing the mainstream, I was like, this shit is a piece of cake i could i had enough time like when you do the black clubs like you you and when you do the black clubs you got your water right you got your water on stage right you so much pain you don't get a chance to quench your thirst you're like so look at this motherfucker right okay all right wait wait okay look at all right look at this your mama's off you don't, wait, wait, okay, look at it. Alright, look at this. Your mama's home. You don't have no time to drink your water.

You do the white gloves, you can do a joke, you'll be like, and he comes in the door. Yeah. Man, that would have been 18,000 booze if that was in the black club, man. I was like, I could do anything. I could tell a joke in a white club and go to the bathroom and come back and be like, finish the joke!

What's the whitest club or venue? Oh, man, I don't know. It's got to be like Portland or some shit, right? I don't... What is the whitest... Oh, the whitest venue that I performed throughout my career, it would have to be doing the cornfield shows with Dave in Yellow Springs, Ohio. Yeah, that makes sense.

That was Midwest white. Dave calls it, that was like muddy boot white. You know what I'm saying? That was like all Ohio State shirts and shit. Everybody had an Ohio State shirt, right? It's because they went to Ohio State shirts and shit. Yep. Everybody had an Ohio State shirt, right? It's because they went to Ohio State. Like when black people wear shirts like that, it's not because he went to that school.

It's because it matched our Nikes. You know what I'm saying? You went to Maryland, Brown, and Arizona State, and matched these goddamn Jordans. But that was white, white, white. But the thing is, even with that said said as long as i've been doing it i am proud to be able to say you can put me in front of any audience oh man you know i mean bang bang audience stab you in that funny audience or the ones that left like

you know that that range is there man but i would say that that was like that environment was the whitest. But the thing is, I do so many white venues and clubs that I can't say which one was the whitest. You guys really translated. Like, I mean, I remember my mom. Look, even in a white pocket, I got time to drink my water. Continue your thoughts. I mean, like I said, my mom loves you, Dave. You know what?

I tell everybody all the time. I know I should be proud of this, but I used to say, I'm your mama's favorite comedian. Yeah. And it's so funny when people like this, man, my mom loves you. Some people are like, oh, what do you mean by that? But it feels good knowing that that's the case. I did a show, and i was so wrong for this i did a show at howard university in washington dc over the weekend right and there was this kid in there he was 15 years

old right and he looked like he's like 17 or 18 right and he was there and with his mom and his mom was like he's a fan he wants a picture with you he wants a picture with you and I said how do you he said I'm 15 and I was so excited about that because I'm like me being an older guy in my mid 50s mid 50s is saying I'm 55 what the fuck am I talking about

I'm such a denial ageism is a motherfucking thing I'm in my mid 100s 45 plus 10 Such a denial. Ageism is a motherfucking thing. I'm in my mid-hundreds. 45 plus 10. Yeah, I'm celebrating this last birthday. You can call me a legend. But when he said that, I was like, man, especially in the world now,

it's entertainment where everybody, the newest thing is like, oh, he's just doing it. He wants to be relevant. He wants to be relevant. With the kids, that's the way. Oh, you're just trying to be relevant. You're not relevant. I got a career over 30 years. You can call it what you want, but I have sustained the test of time, right? So he's like 50. He's like,

his mom said he's 15. And he was like, I was like, you want a picture with me? He was like, he was like, yeah. I mean, he was tall. He was looking down. He was like, yeah. And I told him, I was like, look at this, man. I was like, this. I mean, he was tall. He was looking down. He was like, yeah. And I told him, I was like, look at this, man. I was like, this is another generation that are fans of mine, right? And his mother was hot, right? And I was like, oh, that's so awesome, man.

I said, is that your mom? He said, yeah. I said, man, I would fuck the shit out your mother. You want this picture? Tell mom, let's go, right? And mom looked very fuckable, right? Everybody was like this, I would fuck his mom, too. But he did.

I think he was ready to sacrifice his mom. The black dude. It looked like he was ready to sacrifice his mom. He looked at mom like, I want the picture. I want the photo. And even like, ah, man, this guy was a super fan. And this is why I know, as I talked to him later, he was a super fan. And I did a meet and greet or whatever.

And I was like, ah, man, where's that little kid? I mean, the tall kid. I didn't get a picture with him. Then he came back to get the picture. Right? Like, that insulted his mother. She took it. It was funny or whatever.

But he came back. And then I was like, this is why mother she took it it was funny whatever yeah but he came back and then i was like this is why i knew what the connection was he said um my dad is a huge fan of yours and i wanted to say well not after you see this tape yeah right but it just it just made me it made me think like i hear so many stories like, my dad introduced me to you. That was a cool thing. A cool thing to be telling your son. He probably was 9 or 10 when he introduced me.

There was no profanity in the Chappelle show. But there's something cool to be said about, I used to sit down with my dad and we used to watch your stuff with my dad. When I went to the Chappelle's birthday, I down with my dad, and we used to watch your stuff with my dad. Yeah, it translated. When I went to Chappelle's birthday, I went with my dad. Yeah. And we had a great time, unbelievable.

And then Travis Scott started. And you want to know what me and my dad looked like trying to vibe to Travis Scott? Oh, yeah. You can just vibe to his energy, though. He came out. I just saw him, like, maybe three weeks ago. Chappelle opened up a comedy club that he's done like comedy shows. And like, he got this series called the, uh, uh, Mike check. Right.

Where it's just like the comedy club holds like 200 people like these private shows, almost something reminiscent of the tiny desk intimate, um, situation and Travis Scott. He evidently, he probably was, I think he was playing somewhere in Columbus. Right. Look, she had me paying attention anything I said I said Travis Scott she's like all right right and then it was interesting because you got you got these like it was a mixed audience in here but I have so much respect for him as a performer because I know it's just a stop through but that little stage he was

on man he gave it up like he was performing in an arena or a statement. And to be honest, I didn't really know too much of his songs until I started hearing them. I'm not familiar with any of that. But I really appreciate the energy he gave up. You would not know the difference between that performance and then him performing in front of like 15,000 to 20,000 people.

Yeah, at the Coliseum and shit like that. I know y'all were trying to buy, but did you connect with the energy of the room? Yeah, very, like, I mean, as much as me and my six-year-old wife that can. So which way does your head bob? That's important. Did you go up? Did you go up?

Oh, you know. That's it, like that. Yeah, you got to do the Kanye. And I'm going to tell you, no disrespect to Kanye, but all them beats you listen to, not that nice. You know, but it's something about Kanye, and it just makes people when he did it when he has this you're like oh shit this gotta be hot wait a minute i got whiplash it's not that nice and god yeah dude i i was i was told a story over the weekend of a buddy who had worked with kanye and he had nothing but glowing things to say about him and so it was a whole funny story about the night he met Trump and all that shit.

And he's like, and then we get on a private jet after or something like that. And he goes, Kanye just sits down and goes, Kanye, battery low. It went right dead ass to sleep. I might have to steal that one. That was a good one. Unplug me, man. I had a question for you. For when we were talking about how you ran black rooms and white rooms and all that stuff does that do any white comics stick out as they

were good in black rooms uh right off the rip bill burr bill burr yeah yeah and i'm telling you i don't care what anybody says bill burr was destined to like superstardom and fame whatever but i'm gonna tell you what kept his edge that he would do he would do like the hoodest spots and then do the easiest spots or the one where it's more comfortable and i when we all started about the same time and one of the clubs we used to work was the boston comedy club right and i used to produce my own shows the black rooms right and me and me and bird were cool and he would like i asked other white comments you want to do my are you crazy people i mean i'm one time i asked

patrice o'neill came in one of my rooms right and i was like you want to go up he said nigga are you fucking crazy wouldn't do it yo but bill i'm telling you i had some rough rooms but bill bird he was coming. Patrice being afraid of a black crowd is hilarious. Yeah, but you got to realize that he didn't come up from the black circuit. Got it. He came from the water drinking circuits. Yeah.

Where you could do it. He was hydrated. He was hydrated. That's funny. Don't do another one because next thing you know, you're going to be like, coming to the stage. But he was used to a certain environment

and I'm telling you the rooms I used to do were very intimidating but Bill Burr he didn't give a shit man and I'm pretty sure that was part of the thing that made him

such a tough comic right shit I remember when we were doing back in the day after the Chappelle show during the Chappelle show I came up with the idea of doing this tour called the I'm Rich Bitch Tour. I'm sure.

And it was me, Charlie, and Bill. Charlie had just probably done stand-up maybe one time in his life. But I was like, we need this money. Just go up there and say, Charlie Murphy for 30 minutes. Just go up there and repeat lines from the Chappelle show for 10 minutes. You the draw, I'm the draw and at this time Bill Burr wasn't a draw at the time and I know

people are like what do you mean I'm talking about Bill Burr that was about to break away Bill Burr that had like limited role on the Chappelle show his whole hair before before he was swimming in the milk that's called interracial dating Before he was swimming in the milk.

That's called interracial dating. Wait, what is that? Oh, you didn't know that? Dr. Umar. Oh, my God. First of all. Dr. Umar. Dr. Umar. Let me tell you something.

Well, according to Dr. Umar. Wouldn't she be swimming in the milk? Yeah, she was. Yeah, right, right, right. Yeah, she was. And like me, people that, I've been called a bunny hopper. Right? Because, you know, like if you date white women, it's like this.

And you got to say like, oh, brother over there bunny hopping. So this was before Bill Burr was swimming in the milk. We had this tour, and I was like, I could do the tour with me and Charlie and just find anybody from the milk. We had this tour and I was like, I could do the tour with me and Charlie and just find anybody from the show and then not do an even split or whatever, just give them a base, whatever, and keep it moving. But I was like, if we're going to go out,

I really want it to be something that people remember. And I knew adding Bill Burr to it was going to make the show. I could have pulled it off. It's a bomb squad. And I know some questions that people always ask, well, can you follow this person and everything?

But excuse me, I tell people, you don't talk about following somebody. Try doing a 45-city tour where you're coming behind Bill Burr every night. I had no nights off. And any night that I felt like I wasn't myself or in the mode, I knew the comment cars was going to come back. They should have let that white boy close.

I had some of those nights. I was partying the night before and I had some of those but that dude is so strong. He's killing it. And it's like, people always like, I don't want to go up

to so-and-so. I believe that you should always test yourself. Yeah, you should want that. You should always want- The minute that you start like stacking the deck so that you,

you can be the star is the day that that show gets, it's a lesser show. So many people, that's why I like, I really appreciate the relationship I have with Dave. Because Dave know I kill stages, right? And most people, headlines at that level, they'll be like, nah, I want that first bang to be from me.

Yeah. And Dave has told me, he said, man, you know I know the difference when I work with you. You know, he said, I remember one time he said, God damn it, Dono, you get one more standing ovation, you're fired. I kept it going. I never got fired. So I appreciate that. Dude, the story you were telling on stage was amazing about how you did the special and how Dave was producing it.

Yeah. And how you did it, what, three times total? Three times. was producing it yeah and how you you did it what three times total three times i mean is was that like frustrating or were you happy to do it every time or because you had done it and you were happy with it right yeah that's where it started yeah yeah i was of course i was frustrated because like the first time i did it it was right um at the end of the pandemic you know i'm saying saying? And it was even hard to try to find a venue that would even hold us because everybody had these rules where we found this spot.

And the frustration came from me thinking, not thinking, knowing, I did the best I could do in that moment. And the first one, he said he wanted to can it. And I was like, why did I go from a standing O to going crazy to he wanted to can it and I was like why did I go from a standing O to going crazy to you want to can it and he said Donnell I I can put you in front of any audience

and you'll rip it it doesn't make it a great special and he saw a bigger picture and he's always said of all the people that I'm producing that yours is the most anticipated, not because you're the funniest comic, but because the relationship you have with the show.

You know, it's like, and I knew that to be true because when I tour him, right, and I do my own stuff, right, but it's nice balance. When I tour him, like, when they do my intro, they'll say, like, you seen him on HBO's The Corner or The Wire, and you hear the crowd like, you see them in spider-man 2 but the minute they say but you fell in love with him as ashy larry like it was nuts he was there yeah whenever they do that yeah you know and that's what he was trying to get i guess that's what he's trying to get, I guess that's what he was trying to get to, to please those people. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And one thing about his special,

sometimes you think you ripped in a room from like people that could see you or whatever, but that don't mean it's going to translate on camera. At home, yeah. It's a totally different vibe. Yeah, you've seen some sets, like I've seen people perform where, in that moment, they ripped it.

But then when you watch it, it's like, and it's a tough thing. I don't care what nobody says. You got so many comments like, if I get a special, I get a special. Half of y'all motherfuckers, when they say action, you're not going to know what to do. You know what I'm saying? It's one thing to be in a loose, comfortable environment like a club where you know nobody is looking at you. It's another thing when you know you're doing something and it's Netflix execs right there.

It's a person that can scratch it you know what I'm saying that pressure and then you also looking at everything other everything other comics that are done you're trying to compare and with this special

I just did I got a compliment or comment someone said that's the most Donnell I've seen Donnell. Like who I am in a club environment kind of translated with the special. When Dave's saying, we want to can this one, shout this one, whatever it is, is that because of your performance or engineering? Were you adding jokes in between? No, what it was was he said i was like okay you gotta explain

to me he's like he said um i've seen you do these jokes better okay right so you weren't changing jokes i wasn't changing joke and i was like dave i've seen you do jokes better than what you've done on specials you know and i said in that moment like it's hard for you like what did it represent right there you taking away from you ever seeing me you take away from you know that a certain way i can do it does it still translate it's funny he said yes i said is that enough he said no no right and he said another thing was that um i had a lot of COVID related jokes. And he said, if you drop those, then it's going to date the special. Right. Like it's 20, it's 2024 right now.

Nobody wants to be here in COVID shit. If you hear it, it reminds you of 2020. Yeah. So we did that. We scrapped that. And then maybe a year later later we were doing some shows in napa valley and i'm dave he always he he records all his shows so he looked at one of the producers and said uh how many cameras do you have tonight she said five he said looks at me said do you want to shoot your special i said when he said now on the spot so you were ready to just do your set like easy relax

whatever and all of a sudden you gotta shine but then i always gotta shine well yeah you know i'm saying like i always perform like i'm shooting a special but i kind of got excited but i was like there's no anticipation there's no like executive there executives there there's no anticipation. There's no executives there. There's no... It's like just... We was going to shoot a special on the load. Nobody knew it. Shoot it, turn it into Netflix. Did you tell the crowd at all?

No. I didn't want that. I didn't want nobody to know. Is it intimidating? Or are you just close enough with Dave now that it's like... You're comfortable around him. But in that moment where it's like, alright, this is number three.

Like, I want this to be fucking done. I got to nail this to the point that Dave says. I told him to stop fucking with me. If he asked for a fourth one, would you have done it? If I had asked for a fourth one, I would have been burnt out. Yeah, because at some point it's diminishing returns. It's like. Yeah, but it's like, even when we were doing this,

like a lot of times when I perform on a tour with him, he never sees me perform because he's in his green room. Sure. And I remember one time we were on a flight, and I said, I got a great idea for a promo. And he said, you worrying about a promo? You need to be worrying about your jokes. And I said, I'm not going to let you talk to me like that, Dave.

I said, if you would come out your green room, or if you would watch the tapes, or the footage that I showed you, or sent to you, you would know how insulting of a question that was to me. Because every step of the way, every criticism

you've had toward me, whatever, I've done my homework. You would see me work, if you would watch it, you would see, like, oh, you listened to what I said. You know what I'm saying? Doing more jokes that's personal to me. You know what I'm saying? Not doing all the topical stuff.

Even on this special, I only did probably one joke that you would know this was a period of time. That was a joke I did about the Alabama Brawl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's almost almost that's topical but it's classic that's going to be talked about forever people are going to remember that forever and even though remember it in the show I say if you don't know about

the Alabama Brawl Google it so I'm pretty sure the people that weren't didn't know about it they were at home were like just pause and like oh let me see that yeah yeah and I just like. What a moment in time. But I told him, I was like, I'm doing my homework.

I don't know if he knew that. I'm like, I'm doing my homework. And then when we did it in November, you know, the other day he was like, man. You know, he said, don't let negative energy get into your head right now. He said, people are going to try to beat the critical of you. He said, but I'm telling you, the streets are talking. He said, you hit a home run. You hit a home run and we're bullseye.

And then the thing about it with this, going through it as many times I did, moving forward to the next one, because I'm going to do another one. I'm just telling you that it's going to happen I'm just going to have so much experience on the know-hows of making it a great special and the only thing you can do is get better from here on out that

Alabama brawl almost felt like a Chappelle show skit that was like a real life you know the thing about it for me is like I know people probably think it was a plan, but I had already had attention on doing that joke. No, no, I mean the actual brawl. Like the brawl happening. I felt like

a skit that you guys would have performed back on the show. It was so ridiculous. I misunderstood you. But even, and especially when I do the bit, and the thing that was a significant part of that joke was a guy throwing his hat up in the air as a calling card, right?

Yeah. And you couldn't ask for anything better than this. I'm in the front. I'm, like, looking in the front row, and there's a dude right here with a blue hat, a baseball cap on. I was like, look at God. And I was just hoping he wouldn't be like,

fuck you get out of here i gotta receive the airline fuck you i was like please be a good sport right and when he gave it man but i'm telling you i know that he probably got groupies now yeah he was like you know that's my head i still got it right but when he did it and when i threw that shit up like the room exploded and then when you look at it on camera you see it go up and disappear then you see it come straight back down

I'm like oh I should have gave him about a thousand dollars let me buy that hat bro that was good and that's when I really felt like that I was off to the races because even when I did it that third time, I was like, Donnie, don't take yourself that serious.

And leave yourself room to be you. Leave yourself room for something spontaneous to happen. Because there are different levels of laugh you can get at a show. You get the laugh that you've been hearing all the time. But then the audience know when something happened in that moment, you're like, you got the laugh that you've been hearing all the time but then the audience know when something happened in that moment you got this laugh but that spontaneous laugh that goes like this you can't

there's not going to be a joke that you can write that's going to be stronger than an improv laugh in the moment. And you hadn't had any in the first two I imagine. What? You hadn't had any spontaneous laugh. No because I wasn't taking chances and I was like just stick in the first two, I imagine. What? You hadn't had any spontaneous. No, because I wasn't taking chances. Yeah.

And I was like, just stick to the script. Because some part of it, you know, you can be loose all you want, but you still have to have some structure. You know, and you got to have some structure too, because now if you do like two tapings, you got two shows if you want to edit in and out of. You know what I'm saying? Right, right. One set, you might have forgot

to set up, they might have tapped in. But this special, they only used the second tape. It was smooth all the way through.

The whole way through? Yeah. Wow. How often does that happen? I've heard that. Wait, the second or the third? The second. No, the second

taping on the third shot at it. Got it. Yeah, so taping. Yeah, so many people. Like, I don't like, like, I always want to get a clean pass. Because I think, you know, like, Chris Rock did a special years ago where he did it in, like, five continents.

Yeah, I remember that. And I wasn't a fan of that because you can't feel the buildup, you know? Like, one joint, you can tell his energy was another way. The next show, you see, like, sweat on his head. And it didn't, for me, it didn't feel like it was a comedy show. It felt like it was trying to do something super artistic. Yeah, I'm sure it was, yeah. Like, I want to do something outside of the box.

I like, I don't want to, well, you was this one, the first show. I want to bang that shit out so you can feel it. I don't want no fake laughs or any of that. And we got it done. That was out in Napa? No, this was the last one I did. This is a lie. The Napa joke, the Napa show, I murdered that,

but he didn't want to put that one out because he didn't like the production of it. You know, he was like, because we was just winging it. But then after he thought about it, he was like, he told me, he was like, it's people moving aroundinging it. But then after he thought about it, he told me, it's people moving around, walking around, going to the bathroom. It wasn't like, all right, guys, we're doing a show. Don't move.

It wasn't that. But then I said, well, live at Sunset Strip, one of the funniest jokes I remember is when white people came and their seats were gone. When he talked about that, I was like, let's just keep it real and honest like that we've talked about stuff like that before having the grittiness of a comedy cell or something like that

but then on camera it does kind of take you out of it when you're seeing the heads pop up and walk around but I didn't give a shit at that point it was a second stab at it and I just wanted to I wanted to get it out I wanted to get it out be fucking done yeah i wanted to get it out and it's like my career was moving swell you know but with not knowing when this

special amount how long from when you so you let's say the first time you nailed it you're like all right we're putting it out and he said no to when it actually came out. How long was that? Two years. Wow, man. You are a patient motherfucker. Is there anybody else that you would have listened to like that much? No, because nobody else was going to give me the money that he got me. It's easy to wait for two years.

Yeah, money talk bullshit. But the thing was, it got to a point, like my agents were like, when did you have your talk today? What's going on? And I said, fuck that special. I said, I don't want to wait for a special to make phone calls. I said, let's just keep going with what we're doing. I said, just act like the special's not going to come out. So what are you going to do for me if the special's not going to come out?

You still got to work. Let's just do that. And then when the special comes along, all it'll do was enhance just like a bonus yeah yeah damn two years is a long time though yeah but it was like one thing it was two years and i'm like doing three gigs a year but i didn't notice the time going because i was too busy yeah i'm still doing like fucking 45 weekends a year. In fact, I literally had to find time to do the special. And you said you balance it like you go out on your own tour, but then is it something like Dave will call up and be like,

you want to roll with me for a few weeks or a month or whatever? Or is that all scheduled out? It's like that dude today, like, all right, we're going to do a spring tour starting in a week. Yeah, I was going to say, he feels pretty spontaneous. The club's no arenas. No arenas, yeah. Yeah, he just announced an arena tour and it's sold out. It's nuts, man.

It's a different level. I do this stuff with him. I do my stuff, you know what I'm saying? But it's going to come to a point where we have a great relationship. It's going to come to a point where I'm doing my own arenas. Yeah, yeah. And my schedule may not allow me to do that. And then after a while, he's going to kick me out the nest anyway.

Yeah. He's already made comments like, you know, not in a bad way. But it's time for you to do it. But this is what people don't understand. Whenever, first off, usually when I do shows with Dave, I have to alter my schedule. Like I do a lot of club dates. So if he announces, if it's like a certain amount of time out,

if he announces he's going to do a tour, say it's a month out, I got enough time to move my dates around. Like, it's never been a time, like, I hope he calls, I need work. Right, right. I'll make it happen for you, yeah. And the beauty of his show is, like, you know, he'll do a show, like, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

Not the typical comedy nights. Yeah. And usually those shows don't conflict with my schedule. So I'm like, oh, shit. I can do three of these shows and then go to Weekend and do my stuff. It was a beautiful thing. But it's definitely a balance. I saw a headline the other day.

I don't know if you saw this, about the Chappelle show. Dylon from that skit said that ruined his career. I don't necessarily believe that's true. But then again, what you got was the headline. He had a story before that. He explained it. And after that. I can understand.

I don't think it could ruin your career. But you got to learn how to pivot. Right. I was going to say, if anything, that was, you know. But he pivoted. He came out. He talked about that, too. He came out with a beer

right and I think it was created and distributed in Jamaica whatever it's called top five he kind of took advantage of that the whole thing is like you can sit back and complain about everything or you can try to figure out a way to use it shit man I fuck during the pandemic

I wasn't making no money as a stand up and I knew Ashley Larry was popular I was selling lotion I sold $45,000 worth of lotion in three days no way

yep just like Ashley Larry lotion but it did I did Rogan's podcast too so you know yeah of course that helps

so was that was Chappelle show big in the pandemic like as a rewatch sort of thing? Yeah, but it's all people. I think, I don't know. You know what? I think so.

Reason why? Because I think at this time it has shifted from Comedy Central to Netflix. Yeah, that makes a big difference. He was like, you know, because you had to have the dvds or whatever to watch it back and it was like yo it's gonna be a different audience because now it's people getting introduced to that show that was like they never saw it ashley larry lotion is so good the the dialogue thing i actually watched the video uh the i i watched it i started it thinking like oh man that sucks too bad for him and then as I watched his explanation, I was like, oh, he's taking no responsibility.

At all. That's what I'm saying. Because he kept saying, he was like, I never said that. The die, line, die, line, die, line, die. He's like, I never said that. I never said that. And I was like, well, no. But it was a joke based on how you were acting on the show.

So it didn't come from nowhere. And then you could just, like, the smart people ought to figure out, or will figure out a way to figure it out. Yeah. Right. I mean, but it's also, to even say figure it out makes it, like, as a negative way. It's like, that was all good things.

Like, you're on the Making the Band Show. They're talking about it. It's all good stuff that you need to roll with. Have a sense of humor about it. I'm pretty sure that he did not have a problem when he was going to clubs and chicks wanted to give him some pussy. Dylon, nylon, nylon, nylon, nylon. Yeah.

How many, who are you going to fuck? I know he was like, Dylon, nylon, nylon, nylon, nylon. It's just that any situation like that is usually when the heat falls off now and it's like, oh oh it was so bad for me exactly right

yeah when that dries up it's it all becomes a negative it's like I don't think so if it dries up it's because of

dye line dye line dye line dye line dye line I know I would see him out of different places

and he was all about the dye line yeah he was all about it I mean no shade to him, but I don't know anything else he's done. So it's not like he had some other career

and he was like, enough of that, guys. He's like, you were Dylon. Dylon, Dylon. Dylon, Dylon. Yeah. Make that shit work. Fuck that. Call me Ashley Larry to the day I die.

Who wrote Ashley Larry as a character? Well, it was partially written. The character was just a dude that was wearing boxing shorts and dress shoes. But when I was doing a show, I was like, they don't give me a lot of lines. So physically, when you first see me, I got to be popping right off the gate. Like, as soon as I come on, it's got to be like, ah. And I was like, I want to be so ashy that I can write how much money people owe me on the side of my leg.

Right? I didn't tell anybody because I knew they wasn't going to let me do it if I did it. So I went to makeup, and I told them to give me some baby powder. I put the baby powder on. I had the robe on. I mean, it was head to toe, right? Yeah.

I had the robe on and as soon as they was like, all right, you're going to set. I took that shit off. They was like, what the fuck? I was like, let's just shoot this shit. And then I told him, the last minute, I told him to give me some baby powder, right? I was like, I want to blow some dust. Yeah. Right?

So I'm going to tell you, when I shook my my they didn't know what was in my hand when i did like this and blew that baby powder out it was night night it was over that's amazing that's brilliant dude we got one that's great i mean so like in that moment you know if you if you don't choose to do that the the baby powder the baby powder out of the hand like who knows if that even hits right well i didn't even really know because you don't really you don't choose to do that, the baby powder, the baby powder out of the hand, like who knows if that even hits, right? Well, I didn't even really know. Cause you don't really,

you can't really tell how the sketch hit until we do your wraparounds. When they actually show the sketches in your brain, you can say it was funny. Yeah. But, uh, when I do the wraparounds, you know,

when it really hit like, but in that moment, I was just in a zone. And I remember Charlie had a ski mask on and he looked, he said, motherfucker. So in that moment, I was just in the zone. And I remember Charlie had his ski mask on. And he said, motherfucker. So he said, do you know what the fuck you're doing right now? He said, you're killing this shit.

Because that skit wasn't... It was the first time we had... Eddie Griffin was on. It was the first time we had anybody do a skit outside of our little crew. The gang gang yeah yeah was that world series of dice yeah yeah and that sketch was you realize i probably said two words yeah that's all it's like darth vader where it's like you had two minutes of screen time

man and it was made the most of it it was written for for Leonard Washington, Grits and Gravy, T-Pop. But the camera don't know who the sketch was written for. Right. Only the actor does. When you look back at that, do you think, God damn, I'm talented or God damn, we were lucky? I don't think it was anything. I think we were lucky that when that show came out,

it was at a time when people wanted something different. Yeah. Something innovative, something that was just not the regular, but it was talent and not just what the, but I don't mean the show as all. I meant specifically that sketch. Cause you were talking about how like so much was kind of not ad libbed,

but like kind of like spontaneous. We were like, you know what? Fuck it. Give me the baby powder. Like, is it, do you think that's more luck or do you think that's more talent?

It's talent. It's talent. And then having the balls to try it because I stopped, like, so much stuff when I did on that show,

it wasn't on the script. But I was lucky enough to be with a crew that's like, wasn't all anal about, you gotta do it this way. It was basically, if you did something

and it ripped, Good. Just keeping it. Yeah. What's your favorite sketch? your favorite sketch my favorite sketch and I was only in it for like two seconds was the Wayne Brady sketch because the way

the sketch was developed you know as a apology to Wayne Brady if you want to say and then the fact that it was a dramatic sketch you know it wasn't like trying to fact that it was a dramatic sketch. You know, it wasn't like trying to be funny. It was the characters stood out and made it funny.

Yeah. And it was so damn serious, man. Other than, like, Wayne Brady was amazing. I know he doesn't like to talk about it anymore. Really? Why not? Because he's one of those guys that ever had a stellar career, like a huge resume, professionally trained or whatever. And I don't think that he wants people to remember him

as the guy that had the choker bitch. Yeah, yeah, I get that. He's got a little bit of a different audience. He's got a different audience, but I know what he's saying. But again, it's like you said about embracing Ashley Larry. It's like it resonates. If it resonates, it resonates. If that's what people remember or want to say.

I know what he said that shit, that kid gave him instant street cred. Yeah. Yeah. He was like, oh shit, it's Wayne Brady, son. That was so dope. So the special, what's the A New Day? What was the inspiration behind that um uh there's i was listening to that song uh by nina simone for a while and it was just started

to resonate with what i thought my life was i thought this special was gonna be a new day i think it was like uh it's like elevation from even the way I was dressing prior to the special. And I just connected with that song, Birds Flying High. You know how I feel. Breeze drifting on by. You know how I feel. It's just something about waking up, feeling like this is the start of something different. Which is crazy.

Like, what did you say, 30 years in? Yeah. 30-year career, and you're still feeling like it's new. I told somebody the other day, I said, I feel like being in my mid-50s, I feel like I'm about to blow up. Yeah. And that's not a feeling easy for a 55-year-old comedian to have. Yeah, right.

Because a lot of times you don't have the resources, you don't have the connections. You're funny, but you're not going to meet these right people unless you do it independently but what 55 55 year old has the energy to be like you know what i'm gonna get my tiktok followers up yeah you know you know i mean you just lose you lose incentive and like energy at a certain point. It's like, you know what? I'm cool with just making six figures, cracking jokes, but for me, I still have youthful energy. I'm still looking for the next best joke, and I still can make people laugh, and I'm not washed up.

I was going to say, I don't think that's ending anytime soon. No, not at all. We asked Berthas the other day where he was talking about blowing up and getting bigger and all that stuff. Do you find that you're chasing the applause more or the money more? Not the money at all. Not the money at all, yeah. The applause.

Yeah. But more applause comes more money. Yeah. It's a nice little side effect. Yeah, it's inevitable. Like, I'm even noticing now, like, Jadakiss, when he did that battle, that versus, and he blew it up. You know, next thing you know, it was like, yesterday's price, not today's price. But that's never.

Man, that was classic. Money has never been my incentive. I feel like if you're doing it for the money, you might get, if you're talented, you might get there. But then when you get there, you lose the always always i never thought about sorry i never thought about being rich i never thought about being famous only thing i wanted to do was be good that was always me wanting to be good didn't argue about money i was like because i told myself and i knew if you're good and you got to work at things, it'll turn into money sooner or later. Sorry, my son keeps calling me.

He's sick from school today. How old is he? He's six. He's got strep throat and he's just playing video games all day and keeps calling me. And I got my phone set so that it, let me turn it off. So he'll stop. He calls me like nonstop. What are you doing, dad?

I'm like, I'm at work, motherfucker. So we just we just turned this into a dad podcast my son yeah here's my son when he broke his ankle and guess what i'm different my dad i'm gonna go see him he will not deal with childhood trauma nah that's a good feeling do i understand that that's all telling people, like, do you ever use your celebrity for anything? The only time I ever want to use my celebrity is in, like, Universal Studios lines. Anything that has to do with getting on a ride or, like, just going through something for my son, that's what I'll do. I won't be like, don't you know who I am?

I'll be like, are you a fan of so-and-so? But that's the only time I would abuse my status. My son got a YouTube channel, right? How old is he? He's eight. Okay. My daughter's eight. She dabbles in that a little bit.

I didn't even know it, right? So he was talking about his YouTube channel one day, and then I said, well, you didn't tell me about your YouTube channel. I can help you. He said, dad, I don't want those problems. What the fuck?

No. Eight year old? I don't want that. Because the reason why, and I respect him for it, because he know I could just be like, hey, follow my son.

Yeah. He want to get his followers one at a time. He just want to be a nepo baby. Yeah. I respect that. What an idiot. He don't, but, you know, I know. He's a really, I was talking to him.

What is he doing? He's into Roblox like all kids. Yeah, it is. And, like, programming. He's into, like, art. And he's, like, he wants to design his own games. I'll be honest. I know a lot of people you know

think being on on video games is bad and screen time and all that but like some of the shit that they're doing is you lost my son at an amusement park some years ago right very embarrassing story well i need to say i found him right but i had a scare like that once it's the worst feeling it's the worst feeling in the world right and but the worst feeling for me was like man his punk ass mother ain't gonna never let me live this one day that's what I was like I was like I didn't think about finding him I was like I knew you remember that time you lost your son I was like man there was no danger i wasn't even looking for my son i was like kids get lost every goddamn day bitch i knew in the moment i was like i'm a little bit scared but i know everything's gonna be okay but if this if this goes like five minutes further their mom's

gonna find out and it's gonna be a nightmare mine was for 30 minutes wow i was that is like legit like lost right like like he was but here's the crazy thing um at what age i tell a story story about it and i saw this police officer right and i looked at him and he looked at me like you fucked up no like we got him oh okay right and and I had to say thank you to the police

which no black man in America was to do that was the toughest part saying thank you I was like right back to blue sir yeah

in blue line but the funny thing the interesting thing about it was when I asked the cop I was like I said how did y'all find him they said

we didn't find your son your son came to us fuck that I'm like you a snitch I'm like we don't talk to police in this family but the crazy thing

about it was the thing About it was The thing about it was Um Well I got him I was I had to decide I was like I want to say

Mommy doesn't Cause he was still Yeah we don't need To tell mom about it But then I was like I don't want Him getting Used to

We telling him Lies I know I did the same thing I remember being like Mom doesn't need Eh whatever Just tell her If you want to tell her I said I. I did the same thing. I remember being like, mom doesn't need, whatever. Just tell her if you want to tell her. But the crazy thing about it was, I said, what did he say when he came to you? The police said, your son is very smart.

He said, my dad is a popular comedian and he's on Instagram. Wow. Right? So later, I'd go check my DM. You don't check your DM when you're looking for your kid. That's so fucked up. Right. You're on Instagram looking at your son like, oh yeah, yeah. I got three likes on my son being lost.

Right? And then when I thought he said, he said Instagram. When I looked into my box, it said, hey, this is Officer So-and-so. We have your son at Gate So-and-so. Really? That's crazy. I'm glad I didn't respond to that because then the police would be like, how the fuck you on Instagram?

And your son is out here lost. The only reason I found mine, mine was quick. It was not that long. But we were at Anamusa Park. Her brother didn't want to go on this one ride. So I sat with him while she went on. And I had my eye on her. I don't know.

She got off that ride. And rather than coming to me, she just went on another ride. And I start panicking. And a fan of ours who recognized me, and I posted my kids on the internet sometimes, you know. I saw him earlier in the day. We said hello. He was like, oh, I know your kids from Instagram. I love know I had saw him earlier in the day we said hello he was like oh I know your kids from Instagram I love your work whatever we go our separate ways and then he saw me like panicking and he goes are you looking for your daughter

she's she was just on the teacups with us and I was like I was like thank you man my son had a bubble gun machine he was shooting bubbles all over the place. Right. And he blew his load because I knew where he was. Look for the bubbles? Like, bubbles, right? And then when he first got lost, I was like, look for the motherfucking bubbles, right? But what happened, the motherfucker blew all his bubbles the first three minutes.

And you told him not to, right? You told him, make those bubbles last. I was like, stop with all those bubbles. I was like, it's going to be easy. Look for the bubbles. And them bubbles, that motherfucker was gone. It wasn't no more rides after that shit. That was the quietest ride home ever.

That's amazing, dude. Well, I mean, the career is already legendary, if I may say so. Thank you. But the fact that it still seems like you got a renewed or still a very eager hunger is admirable. At the end of the day, we're just trying to get that legend status. Yeah. Brother. And I. And I.

Jackie, can we do answer the internet you think yeah do you have time to just shoot a quick YouTube video next door alright cool so A New Day is the special on Netflix

New Day A New Dawn A New Life For Me and I'm Feeling Good just continue to watch it that's all I'll say amen bro thanks so much man

thanks appreciate it