KFC Radio - Kazeem Famuyide, Getting A Brazilian, and How We Are The Cast of Unbreakable

Episode Date: June 6, 2019

Kaz from Flagrant 2 (@RealLifeKaz) comes by to talk about getting a full Brazilian wax, the LJ 4-point play, SoulCycle with Flo Rida, Pitbull's net worth and great moments in interracial porn history. The Office topics: deforestation, nipple hair, Native American burial grounds, fear of technology. Also who gets the nickname Tom Terrific, KFC is Mr. Glass and John is Bruce Willis, Chernobyl and Pearl Harbor.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio, presented by Postmates. Today's episode is brought to you by Roman. Father's Day's coming up. You think you should get your dad's dick stuff? Dick peas. Yo, hey dad, here's some swipes. Your dick's gonna last longer now. I'm telling you, man, your dad would probably appreciate it. Possibly would.

For the girl he's having sex with that's not your mom. Roman dick swipes for the young folks, for the old folks, primarily for the young folks. I don't know. Is premature a problem when you're old? I would guess no. Yeah, eventually you like. I don't know. Sometimes you get it up, right?

Sometimes you ever get that, like, then you're kind of drunk jerking off and it like never even gets hard yeah i mean he's finished yeah that might be a problem when you get older too well right yeah i feel like when you're having old sex it's just drunk sex yes all the time all the time they're like ah you gotta thumb it in and you're like you know what never mind i'm not gonna finish that's just it could be fucking 11 a.m on a Wednesday. That's sex for you when you're 60 plus. Have you been drinking? No. No.

I've been living. I've been living too long. I've been alive since the war. What war? I don't know. All of them. Live through all of the wars. All the ones we didn't win. I think I got four toes for it.

Well, I was out with a nom. Well, if you do have problems with premature popping get some uh some roman swipes the it's the only actual way to last longer in bed no mental tricks are gonna work because pussy's undefeated okay you think your mind is more powerful than pussy the best idea we've had before the swipes was counting baseball players. We have not had many advancements in non-premature ejaculation technology. We finally got it. If you could animate sex, right? And then you go inside the man's brain.

He's counting fucking baseball stats. And then you go inside the pussy, and she's just like, Mwahaha! You think that's going to stand up to me? I've gotten away from trying to count. I never the baseball i never did that but i'll just like stare at a lot of them what's that mark from and i just come up with something that'll be like hang on i'm in a vagina and it's just that's it i maybe honestly truly i think if i thought about the mets it would slow me down i think that they're that I think that they're that bad and that toxic in my life right now.

I think if I think about Mickey Calloway and the Mets bullpen, I wouldn't come. Maybe ever. I think I would lose my erection. The last eight games, 0-4, was it 12-8-9? Dude, they should have beat Kershaw, Grinke, and Bumgarner, and the bullpen blew all three games. They should not only have not lost those games,

they should be riding high. Like we just beat, we beat the best three aces of the last decade. Nope. Lost every single game. They, bro, they went into extra innings last night.

They lost by six runs. What the fuck is that about? Gave up six of the 10th. It's insanity. If I, if I started thinking about that, I don't think I'd come. But, but do you go soft? Yeah. I think I would, I think I don't think I'd come But you'd go soft

Yeah I think I would lose it all Right I think in the middle of sex She could be like What's wrong honey Fucking Mickey Calaway Took out Cindergo With only 103 pitches

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to feel cool type feels. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. I had a condom in my wallet for like five straight years. Yeah, those shits expire. It started like it was like popping through. You could see the ring around the weather. What are you doing to a fucking 12-year-old? If you would have bought that condom, that shit would disintegrate like the Avengers. It would just, poof, disappear.

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I need you to do certain things at certain times and you're never listening. You've, you've tried the, uh, the ed're never listening. You've tried the edging porn videos. You've tried the no-come challenge. I'm sure. Maybe I'm speaking for myself. No, no, no. Let's use science. Bro, let me tell you something.

I've tried the no-come challenge videos, and I cum, and I get upset with myself. I'm like, fuck. I'm terrible at this. I mean, I'm not undefeated. The video's undefeated. You're defeated. Yeah, it's like, well, I can't even last when I'm by myself. I'm supposed to last with a girl.

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So, you know, good sex for five dollars. That's a deal. You can go ahead and take that ad read and put it in the fucking Hall of Fame. That one, you got your money's worth, Roman. But that's going to be a Harvard Business School study. Halfway through, I was like, grudging it. Grudging it. It's nice that you had song again.

You've been out for like two weeks. I fucking hate it so much. I always feel like I'm letting you down. Yeah, he said that. I was like, I don't fucking care. I know you don't care, but this is my job to be on the show. When my job is taking me elsewhere, I miss my real job. Your job is honestly every three months to celebrate a championship you are it's like oh yeah here's like kfc he's like our mets blogger and here's uh here's like trent he's our uh fucking everyday blogger and we have john he's our designated championship winner which by the way

shout out to me i won one this weekend i won the champions league this weekend it got over come on what do you mean I'm not letting you claim that I've been a fan for five years it's not like I just picked them up I've been a fan for five years through some fucking bad times

no no no I'm not giving you that but Tali was our fucking stud I don't care as long as I could possibly like the team since I started liking soccer I've liked this team

I won the Champions League this weekend nah I'm not letting you have that I mean I put merch on sale for it pretty awesome merch actually probably not i mean do you see the mosala shirt no you're actually gonna like it i just swear oh what up me um john just looked at his phone and give us a little shout out oh yeah

just another t-shirt bonus whatever i mean that's a badass shirt they call mosala the egyptian king that's a fucking dope shirt got the biggie crown the egyptian king that's a badass shirt. They call Mosal the Egyptian king. That's a fucking dope shirt. Got the biggie crown, the Egyptian king. That's a fucking hot shirt. I'm not letting you claim this, though. I'm not letting you do it. I'm not letting you do it. It's like me and the Islanders, bro. No, it's not.

You did it for the playoffs. I've been following Liverpool for five years. Nah, it's like the Islanders. It's not. I watched a couple games. I mean, I have... It's starting to become pretty clear that I have a magic touch. It's...

Well, we are like the movie Unbreakable. Mr. Glass and... What's the other guy? Bruce Willis. Yeah, Bruce Willis. He doesn't have a name, right? He's just Bruce Willis. Bruce Willis.

That ghost was Bruce Willis the whole time. Yeah. That's just it. That's another Sonny Robertson. That's three in a day for me so far. He's just it another sunny that's three in the day for me so far he's just bruce willis uh yeah we are they're polar opposites put on this planet to balance out the universe and we somehow made made it made our way to each other it's honestly like the movie it's like they you know like he finds him it's like i maybe i didn't like seek you out like like uh samuel did like it just happened to happen.

But that's it. I mean, that's what's going on here. When I declare, you know what I need to do. I need to kill. Yeah, I'd be fine. I must kill. I mean, just just like it's my destiny. Just do it.

I don't know. Just do it from far away. We got to talk about it today. Actually, do it from far away. Yeah, we talk about it. You talk about it yesterday where like I would if it was like type thing, I would have, like, traps or cons. Oh, right, right, right. Give me the Rickon run. Yeah, yeah.

And I won't take that guy there. Yeah, but you're not good. I know. I mean – You guys don't go that far. Start practicing. Like, I'll go across the room, but if you run that far, I miss. Shit.

Dumb and dumber. Pow, pow, pow. You're a bad shot, dude. You know, I must kill you. But the – yeah, I mean, it's pretty good it's pretty good job i'm so tired driving there have been the last two weeks there have been times we get on trains or planes and i'm like with frankie or yp and i'm like what fucking day is it like i don't even have a guess like i thought yesterday was thursday you know it's tuesday i don't know if we're beginning

the weekend of the week i'm still when you think it's thursday and it's tuesday that's like you don't even know whether you're coming or going. Are you late on Thursday or early on Thursday? You know what I mean? It was, it's been, but like,

I mean, Dan's talked about it before because he's done playoff runs. The playoff runs are fucking. I just, if you had the fucking Celtics in it still. Oh,

I mean, like I honestly never, I know. Cause like, like I still haven't even gotten into Red Sox mode yet cause my teams take up all of my energy.

And I actually, it's my, my fandom is funny. See like, so does mine. Just in the, I still haven't even gotten into Red Sox mode yet because my teams take up all of my energy. And actually, my fandom is funny because – See, so does mine, just in the polar opposite way. I was kind of trying to explain it to YP yesterday because my Patriots fandom is the one that's always on display the most because they're always here. So that's why everyone's like, you're always so confident. With the Patriots, I am. But with the Red Sox and Bruins, I am more like you, where I'm either black or white. Like, I was. I think with the Patriots, you're so businesslike, where it's just like, you know, it's just like a guarantee.

Whereas, like, the other team, Patriots and Bruins and Red Sox, you're like, the emotion comes out more. Right. Like, you're more passionate about those, so you're more ridiculous. It's 2-2 now. I'm like, fuck, we're fucked. This is a must. Yeah. Whereas, the Patriots, I'd be like, you know, you're like the emotion comes out more. You're more passionate about those. You're more ridiculous. It's 2-2 now. I'm like, fuck, we're fucked. This is a must. Yeah, whereas the Patriots, I'd be like, we're good. Don't worry about it.

Three months, I'd be like, oh, we're 0-10. But what's obnoxious is that you still are always good, like anyway, with the other teams too. Yeah, they're always good, but these series are. Although today, I don't know. We might have got some news. Jara? We might have got some news. J back it's not it's not official it's not a you got some news it's not a reliable source

it's not well let me tell you this much let me just i'll just give you a little let me get a little advice here if you have some sort of inside info that's leaning towards chara coming back run with that because chara is coming back like the chances of that are happening are probably like a hundred percent because he's a fucking freak so put your name on it and that way when it is true you're like yes that was me bro well i was saying that yesterday i was like one of my big concerns with the bruins was that they're hurt and grizzly and chara and kevin miller's just not coming back ever but not ever but this season and But we're like, Char and Grizzly also missing. I've heard both will be in game five. Hockey's stupid. Hockey's stupid.

I mean, I can't imagine. I mean, someone's just got to shoulder that guy in the fucking jaw. Good luck. He's seven feet tall. You've got to launch someone into the air. I mean, when I heard that this morning. He looked ridiculous with that big old fucking thing on. Yeah, I know.

It was awesome. The big old fucking thing on yeah i know it was awesome the big old bubble yeah but the uh i i when i heard that this morning i like started tearing up thinking about how the garden is going to erupt when he's announcing the starting lineup when it's like number 33 your captain keep it quiet do you know what i'm doing today john John? What are you doing, Kev? It's the 20th anniversary of Larry Johnson hitting a shot. That's what we're celebrating. The four-point play.

The four-point play. And it was in game three of the Eastern Conference Finals in a year where they did go on to the finals, and they just got eradicated by Tim Duncan and David Robinson and the Spurs. But, hey, 20 years ago, that dude, he hit that jumper. So let's throw a fucking party. That's tough. That's tough. And you know what's sad?

I was like, oh shit, yeah, it's a four-point play. Good. That was awesome. That was really awesome. I mean, it's a nice memory. Having nice memories is nice. I mean, it was a cool play. It's just that it's sad that it's...

That and the Andy Chavez catch. Just live on forever. Yeah, you do. the Andy Chavez catch just live on forever. Yeah, you do. That Andy Chavez catch was the greatest catch of all time. That meant absolutely nothing. You know what it is. He gets the Cardinals and he pulls it all the way fucking back. It's like the greatest at-the-wall catch of all time.

But it went on to mean nothing because they lost that series. Yeah. Just fuck me. Just fuck me. I know, just fuck me. I got to show you a clip. It's Patriots and Mets involved. Have you heard of this? Me and you are at odds right now.

Tom Brady is trying to trademark Tom Terrific. Okay. Which is just like, that's not his nickname. But whatever. It's not right now. It was. When? When he was younger, they called him Tom Terrific.

Like pre-Patriots? No. Nobody calls him that. Nobody does anymore. Nobody calls him that. It was Tom Seaver's nickname too. He's one of the greatest pitchers ever. But that's not Tom Brady's nickname.

It's just not. No one in the world calls him that. It's not what people call him. It's not what people call nickname. It's just not. It's not what people call him. It's not what people call him. It's not what people call him. It was his nickname. So trade in America. And if you said who is Tom Terrific, people would say Tom Brady. I mean, no, they wouldn't.

And I don't know if they would say Tom Seaver either because that's like 50 years old. But they might just be like, I don't fucking know. In Queens. But everyone would be like, I don't even know Tom Brady. I don't know. I mean, I guess you'd have to be like, I guess who's the tom and tom brady's like currently playing but nobody is coming up with any educated guests outside of queens would say tom brady it's a guy you would i mean if you told me sports maybe but if you just said like who's tom terrific i don't i don't know

tom selleck i'm not sure like i have no fucking idea i kind of want to do a poll in the office well i think it's it's been like a news story now. I mean like second floor, third floor. Okay. Oh, those fucking nerds aren't going to know anything. They won't know either player. But I don't really care about one way or the other. I just thought it was weird.

Like you're trying to trademark a nickname that's not yours. Well, Mets fans are all upset and they held a protest, John. A protest. I'm going to love protests. This protest is delivered by Postmates. Oh, it's delivered by barstoolgold.com slash kfc so you can see we're doing a little video a little video on audio video podcast video podcast go to uh barstoolgold.com slash kfc we're gonna play some video of this protest uh it's delivered by postmates uh postmates and benadryl to my house

last night wasn't for me Nobody was having an allergic reaction People just couldn't sleep Got that shit delivered Everybody slept like a baby Why didn't I have any in my house? Because I ran out of it They'll deliver you medicine They'll deliver you snacks

I got some donuts put in there Also quote unquote for the kids I get my dinner delivered there every night postmates is my number one uh my postmates delivery person the other day gail bryce one like first name gail bryce just the dude named gail bryce oh yeah black guy i was like what's up gail bryce interesting very strange right i was picturing bryce dallas howard uh who's that i know the name but who's that uh it's ron howard's daughter but yeah yeah yeah yeah right right by the way we'll talk about that one day bryce uh ron howard naming his kids after all the places he fucked oh yeah i forgot about that

yeah we'll do that in a minute too in case you don't know that little that little tidbit uh postmates.com go to download the postmates app use the promo code kfc hundred dollars of delivery credit right now for the next seven days meaning all your delivery charges zero gets wiped out uh for the next seven days or up to a hundred dollars so get your postmates on or away don't worry about spending that extra cash on delivery because i got you covered promo code kfc for free delivery charge this is ed crane pool was like and and someone else who was on the 69 Mets, played with Tom Seaver, showed up to this protest. Now, I hate protests.

I hate all that kind of shit, you know? And I was like, fuck these guys. This is such a stupid argument to begin with. I don't think it's Tom Brady's nickname, but whatever. Tom Seaver's demented now. Sorry, but he is. And Tom Brady's going to go do his whatever. Fine.

It's weird, but who cares? Then I saw the protest and what they did, and now I think I'm all in on the protest. Fuck Tom Brady. Tom Terrific is Tom Seaver. These guys show up at the bar. They take Tom Brady memorabilia. They have jerseys and posters. They get out a pot of baked beans and throw it at all the tom brady memorabilia

they're just throwing beans in a garbage can with a tom brady jersey and throwing look at this like dirty messy grimy beans and they're just throwing it against the tom brady picture and now i'm all in on the protest. Fuck Tom Brady. Tom terrific is a, is the, is a New York met. He's Tom Seaver.

He's the greatest pitcher that ever lived. And we're throwing beans, baby. I'm fascinated. Fascinated. Can you believe that? Like Mets were there like the six. I granted those guys like,

well, I don't have anything else to do. You know, something I demented too. I mean, my guys are like, I don't have anything else to do. They're probably demented too. I mean, my teammates retired from – by the way, retiring from public life is awesome. Yeah. We'll talk about that as well. Who just did that? Tom Siebert did it.

The king. King Charles, I think, or whatever. Yeah, he did it, but also someone else. Oh, I think Bill Buckner did because he passed away from dementia. And I was like, oh, I didn't know that. They're not going as well as I wanted them that um we're working on our video segment here this is live for you um retiring

from public life usually it's pretty fucking terrible you know but I'm going to do it without dementia like i might do it next year like why it's like he just doesn't want to do it no but i think retiring from public life without dementia i think you gotta have dementia no i don't i'm gonna trail blaze i think i get it it's disrespectful and shit i know what you're saying but like no no i don't care what that's what i just meant like it just kind of means becoming irrelevant like plenty people retire from from from public life without dementia i think uh okay i see what you mean

but like what if i retire from public life but i still do a podcast oh but you just do it like you're reckless yeah like maybe like i only skype like i don't i don't leave my apartment like you want to come to my party over the last two weeks i think we've learned that the skype might not work i don't i don't know so so you guys have to come to my apartment? Clearly over the last two weeks, I think we've learned that the Skype might not work. I don't know. So you guys have to come to my apartment from now on to do the podcast. I've retired from public life. Never mind. This podcast ends.

You want me to go out to fucking New Jersey or wherever it is you live in? We got to just move in together. Let's just be Charlie and Frank. Let's just do it. That's just because you want to live in the city. Dude, I'm so sick of the commute already. And I have a really easy commute. It's just like so stupid. Why don't you move to the in the city. Dude, I'm so sick of the commute already. And I have a really easy commute. It's just, like, so stupid.

Why don't you move to the city? It's so expensive. And then, like, when I do have the kids, like, how do I get it? When I don't have the kids, I'm like, this is so fucking stupid. When I do have the kids, I'm like, all right, I'm going to have to have this place and where it is and everything. If a stoolie's got a room to rent. I'm dangerously close to, like, subletting with one of you guys. Yeah, yeah, you got an extra closet.

It's like $125 a month. That actually might be something that happens soon. Okay. Just put that out there? Yeah. Put a little tickler file? Because I'll probably take that up. Just have some clothes there.

I actually need more space anyway. I'll just put half my clothes and half my shoes there. Just have a second life. This is my city life. This is the city, Kevin. He dresses different. He acts different. You can just do Mantis. You can just take take over the green room mantis just lived here for a while did you know that yeah i heard that it was just like it was i mean but now grant in his defense like he

had he was like getting kicked out of his one place and his new place didn't start for a week so he was just like i don't know what to do like some of the other people in the past have just like lived here it's like yeah but like other job it's such a weird job and i i hate comparing it to other jobs because there's nothing like it There's absolutely nothing like it in the world Working at Barstool Can you imagine any other job? You're just like, I left here and I was going to crash in the office for a week or so Donnie was just taking showers the other day

I mean, this is the same office where we have a bin A bin of rotting meats And it's been there since before the Stanley Cup finals started It's just sitting back there It's like, honestly, God, it finals started. It's just sitting back there. It's like, honestly, God, it's probably... Does it have our name on it? No, we gave ours to somebody. I don't know if he took it, but he said, I am taking it.

I don't know if he actually followed through, but he said, I am taking it. There are like five bins of like 30 pounds of rotting meat back there. New office. Here's a question for you. Has someone had sex in the new office yet? No. Really? I think somebody probably has. I don't think there's been I mean, if they did, it's sober

sex, and that's wild if you're having sober sex in an office. I don't think there's been a party. I think we're having, like, when we launch a new Amsterdam bar, there'll be, like, a party of sorts. Yeah, but you don't think that somebody's been out and been like, I don't know, where do we go? What should we do? Like, the office is here sort of thing? No, because this building

locks up at 10pm. And we just got keycards, like, last week. I don't think so. I think it won't happen. I just don't think it's happened yet. I bet you someone on the third floor is fucked. Those nerds fuck. And I bet you they had keycards. I bet you they have.

I'm not, I don't know anything. I'm just saying. It's just pure speculation. Something you'd like to know? No, no, no. Pure speculation, but I think people fuck in this office. I mean, fucking in an office is cool.

I never fucked in the old office. I don't think I've ever had sex in anywhere barstool. Did you have sex in the Milton office? Nope. Dirt off in it, though. Like way after work hours. I was was like it was like 11 o'clock at night i was just like working on something but it was i would never do it in the middle

of the day there just cracking off that little bathroom yeah i mean it's like everyone could hear you you're like you get the door shut the fucking fan running people supposed to be like speaking of the office let's get into it. We haven't done it in a couple weeks. We forgot a couple weeks in a row to do The Office. So it's the return of everyone's favorite game. You know what time it is. It's movement watch time.

Check your watch. It's also sunglass season because you know my rule. I only wear sunglasses during the summer. Stupidest rule ever. So it's officially past Memorial Day. Now I can wear shades. I got my pair coming. I got the translucent frames with the purple lenses.

Whoa. Those are like City KFC shades. Those are like Guy Fieri shades. Yeah, those are outrageous. And I'm almost positive they look better on the website than they do in person. They look really cool. Those are actually like surfer shades. Those aren't City KFC.

That's Hamptons, Kevin. Yeah, there you go. That's Harry Hamptons. Let's go. I need a little bit more of that in my life. look really cool. Those are actually surfer shades. Those aren't Steve Kevin. That's Hamptons, Kevin. Yeah, there you go. That's Harry Hamptons. Let's go. I need a little bit more of that in my life. MVMT.com. You can get your sunglasses. They start at just $60.

No pair over $95. So get yourself three. Spend $120. Get three pairs of MVMT, and you're set for the summer. Because when you lose a pair in the ocean, or you forget a pair in the Hamptons, or you sit down on your bag and you break it uh you'll have a couple extra pairs they come with all their styles uh polarized or not polarized i don't i don't know what that means what does that mean what does polarized or not polarized mean yeah um it's it's blocks the sun's

reflections polarized you want polarized i was gonna say why would you not want yeah like it looks like either some are just kind of for look. The other ones are. Performance. Like polarized. Like if you're taking them out on the water to the beach, you need polarized. If you're just like kind of walking around the city, you can get away with a non-polarized. Get yourself a polarized pair at mbmt.com slash KFC. 15% off your order.

Free shipping. Free returns. mbmt.com slash KFC. Johnny's back. He went around the office and asked for topics. Were you ready to cook? What do we got? Trent had the first one that was good.

I liked Native American Burial Grounds. Don't know. Don't know what Trent. He goes, he's like, I don't know what inspired it. I was just random. I'm like, Trent, look at me. I'm a fucking dead Indian on my shirt. Yeah, but I bet he was like, oh, yeah, that's probably what it was.

It was like Inception. I think what it was it was like inception i think he like looked at it and didn't realize it yeah no he definitely didn't realize it but he's like i don't know how that came into my mind native american burial grounds just staring at your fucking face also you have experience with this i do yeah i have experience with it are you scared of them yeah are you they're actually one of the few things that i am like i wouldn't fuck with yeah like i'll fuck with ghosts i'll fuck with whatever I don't give a shit about regular cemetery sure Native American burial grounds I would it's I don't even want to like step foot on it let alone like fuck with it I mean that was when you were a kid that was like the number one thing you could say to like scare somebody yeah

this house on Native American burial ground like fucked up not finishing my dunkaroos I'm out of here are you kidding me that that I mean they finishing my Dunkaroos. I'm out of here. Are you kidding me? I mean, they, you know, Native Americans are magic. Magic, yes. They can conjure, like, Mother Nature, you know? It's not even like magic. It's like they are. One with the earth. Yeah.

You know when they say, like, we only use, like, 10% of our brain sort of thing? Like, they have, like, extra access to the world. Honestly, one of the most impressive things Native Americans used to do to me. To you? Not to me, but, like, it's one of the most impressive things to me. Just running around bare. To you? Not to me, but it's one of the most impressive things to me. Just running around barefoot all the time. Yeah. That's crazy.

Yeah, I mean, the arrow hunting was crazy, and the cooking and teepee building. I don't know much about Native American culture. Chopping people's scalps off. Scalping was pretty good, but just running through the woods barefoot. Yeah. I remember watching movies the last few weekends as a kid. I'm not even wearing shoes. Yeah. I can't even walk around the living room barefoot. They just wear a little flap at the last of the weekends as a kid. I'm not even wearing shoes. Yeah.

I can't even walk around the living room barefoot. Just wear like a little flap of skin over their dick. You know what I mean? Like a deer skin. I'm down with that. Yeah, loincloth?

Yeah. You want to do loincloth? You don't even like to wear t-shirts. You don't like to wear shorts. Now you're going to wear loincloths? I'm not doing it like around New York City,

but if I was back in that time, I would like that look. Oh, I feel like you'd be very self-conscious. I feel like you wouldn't even come out of your teepee. I think it would. Back then it was different. Oh, I feel like you'd be very self-conscious. I feel like you wouldn't even come out of your teepee. I think it would even... Back then, it was different.

It was just like, you know, peace, love. Indians were really the... There was no, like, shame, you know? Yeah. It was like, we don't know what clothes are. How about them playing lacrosse? With their enemies' heads, if I remember correctly. Yeah?

Yeah, I believe it. Yeah, they don't fuck around. I believe it was started with the heads of their enemies. Yeah. They didn't have a little rubber ball. It was... It was a skull. A human it. Yeah, they don't fuck around. I believe it was started with the heads of their enemies. They didn't have a little rubber ball. It was a skull. A human skull. Yeah.

Imagine if you just kept breaking the ball you were playing with. God, it's shattered again. Go kill another white man. Like, Bone Tomahawk was kind of like Indians, right? They were like incest, like... It was... They're like aborigine-type shit, right? Right, yeah. I think people thinkest, like... They're like Aborigine-type shit, right? Right, yeah.

I think people think of, like... I don't think people appreciate how, like, hardcore some Indians got. You know? Like, the Pocahontas vibe, it ain't real. You know what I mean? Like, we had to slaughter them because they were so fucking... Well, because they really wanted to keep their land. Well, they definitely did.

They definitely did. But I think we were like, we need to infect these guys with a big disease because they're because they're fucking crazy smallpox i always get confused with the other s i'm like do you syphilis i'd be fucked up now big time smallpox they didn't they didn't stand a chance it was as far as you know if you admire uh military procedures such as i do of course uh a man of tactic noted noted military tactic man that's a pretty good one that's pretty i don't even know if we meant to do it i think it was just like oh it was an accident i don't know i think we just brought over a bunch of diseases and i think it was i don't think it was like biochemical warfare i think it was just like oh

and you're fucking dead it was like hey these guys can't even hang out with us i thought i thought it was like we gotta like get all the dirty blankets maybe give them to the native americans maybe i mean we were pretty fucked up so i wouldn't put it past them but we are we had taught such a weird like such a warped version of that story of just history in general so like it probably was like we just sneezed on them accidentally over dinner and they said god bless you and we apologized and we did thanksgiving and they got sick yeah like now we were slaughtering you go back like like just the stuff that you learned and i guess maybe as a kid it's a little dark to be telling you know but like by high school it should be like hey it wasn't just like like we get to work but you didn't get paid to work is

what slavery was it was it was really bad dude they called it the trail of tears it was just like we make you march to your death out of your land then you cry and die and we're just like oh thanksgiving yeah yeah i mean they taught us how to make corn we taught them how to hunt turkey that's what we're taught we probably done that with every like with everything i mean we dropped atomic bombs in the middle of a fucking city twice that you know if you go to you know what they teach in japan like we got unfairly bombed by the fucking americans did we did we were pulling up the the uh yeah history here japan they're like yeah so we

attacked a military base they attacked a city city like downtown like on a school fucking a that is have you ever read the reports of that shit like the aftermath of hiroshima City. Like downtown, like on a school. Fucking A. That is. Have you ever read the reports of that shit? Like the aftermath of Hiroshima? With people just walking around, like just like walking away from the blast. Just their eyeballs falling out. Just their skin falling off. Just like.

It's like Chernobyl, dude. We saw in that special. Those guys were just like around that power plant. Their skin just. Dead. Gone. I'm going to read it actually tyler uh i think tyler retweeted it yesterday where he was talking about chernobyl and um someone sent him like what the original uh the the account from one of the wives of what happened with their husband. It is grisly.

Okay. If you're not watching, if you haven't watched Chernobyl, it's over now. It was a mini series, five episodes, super fucking good. They dressed him in formal wear with his service cap.

They couldn't get his shoes on him because his feet had swelled up. They cut up the formal wear too, because they couldn't get it on him. There wasn't a whole body to put it on. It was just all wounds. The last two days in the hospital, I'd lift his arm and meanwhile the bone is shaking, just sort of dangling

because the body had gone away from it. Pieces of his lungs, of his liver were coming out of his mouth. He was choking on his internal organs. I'd wrap my hand in a bandage and put it in his mouth to take all the stuff, to take out all the stuff. It's impossible to talk about. It's impossible to write about and even to live through. It was all mine, my love. They couldn't

get a single pair of shoes to fit a single pair of shoes to fit him. They buried him barefoot. It was like, imagine if your fucking liver was coming out of your mouth. Dude, just absolutely kill me for that one. I mean, fucking morphine overdose. What are we doing here? What is happening? It was like those in Chernobyl, the scenes where they're just melting to the bed.

It's like, what are we doing? What's wrong with that fucking idiot who had to get in there? Yeah, that was so stupid. I'm pregnant. I have to hold his hand. Fuck you, you moron. That nurse was like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, you have to watch Chernobyl. I also read that it is

the most historically accurate show ever. Oh, really? Minus the whole accents thing. And minus the woman. The woman just doesn't exist. Oh, no, no. I meant, I don't know about, like, the people, but I meant, like, the setting, the scenery, the, like, the Russian, everything Russian. Yeah.

There was, like, a guy on Twitter who was, like, he's, like, a Russian historical sports writer, but he's all about Russian history. And he's, like, I lived through that era, and, like, the clothes, the cigarettes, the food, the, like, everything is so on point. They, it down to like the nittiest grittiest detail really so uh like the americans as an example like like the russian accents are goofy and the some of like the stuff they were doing isn't historically accurate this is the opposite it was like everything was so fucking real but it's still give me you can't say that's historically accurate i get what you're saying but you also can't be like it's incredibly historically accurate when like one of the stars that didn't wasn't yeah yeah

yeah yeah i'm just talking more about the the the russian that was that was surprising to me yeah she just didn't she just that that wasn't like uh like uh we kind of like threw a bunch of people together in one person oh that's what it was at the end of you watched you must not watch like the full thing when they're kind of scrolling through all like the facts and explaining what happened to everybody. But she was named Hyuk or something like that. She didn't exist, but she was there to represent a team. Yeah, a bunch of scientists who helped him.

That makes sense. You can't have in a five episode miniseries, you can't have 17 other guys helping you out. So it's just like, okay, here's the one character who represents you guys. That makes sense. All right, let's get back to the office. Rainforest. I went to a Rainforest Cafe recently. That's right. Which I have never been.

Oh, wait, was it you? I didn't even know. Oh, so it wasn't you telling me about the John Taffer thing. No, we talked about this, and somebody, we were at lunch with the Comedy Central people. They told us that John Taffer invented Rainforest Cafe. I gotta gotta be honest up until like three months ago when you brought this up i don't know what rainforest cafe is oh man it was i piece it together that you're basically inside a rainforest and there's like waterfalls yeah animals growling it's like i used to go to bugaboo creek i don't know if that was a it might have been a regional thing i think it's out of business now but yeah

when i was when i was a good boy i got to go to the buggy food creek and it was just like when you were not imprisoning your your housekeepers torturing your babysitter the moose would like yell at you and stuff like that it was awesome all basically a restaurant of but what what what what do you eat like what kind of food i mean it's just like americana like whatever but you go for like a you know dinners and ribs and yeah yeah was good? I mean, for a kid, it was. You're going for the fanfare. I mean, when I went to Rainforest Cafe most recently, it was, I didn't, I just drank. But what's so cool about that is Taffer, there'll be thunderstorms in the Rainforest Cafe.

And it'll be like, pow, pow. There's, like, a lightning thing. And Taffer, I don't know if he invented Rainforest Cafe, but he was a consultant for it, where that was his idea, where he was like, make loud thunder. And the company followed how often drinks were ordered. And when they do thunder, like every half hour, the drink order is like double. Really?

It's just a subliminal thing. I don't know if it's the danger of it or just the excitement of it but like didn't you say it also like turned over tables quicker that like you went through like two once you do like two rain right right right right yeah like all right i don't want to you know we got our money's worth like let's get out of here and it was like more tables per day yeah it's brilliant it's an attraction that also kicks you out he's such a smart fucking guy it's like man you can deal with your dick. I gotta go see it. I've had enough. Shout out to him on Big Brain 2.

That's out now. I think episode 2 just dropped. So once a week, you can go catch Tapper and Rapoli and Dave just roasting stoolies with bad ideas. The rainforest in general is one of those things. I don't believe the stats. You can tell me anything about the rainforest. I own like half the rainforest, I think. Oh yeah, that's another thing.

We buy pieces of the rainforest and shit. I own like half the rainforest, I think. Oh, yeah. That's another thing. Yeah, as a kid, I was just... You buy pieces of the rainforest and shit. I own like half of space. Yeah. I own several like stars and asteroids. Yep. Half the rainforest. I own a manatee.

This is... I swam with manatees. That's in the family. My brother's the manatee owner in the family. You ever swam with them? I've never swam. I swam with dolphins. It wasn't on my period, so I made it out okay.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Can't swim with dolphins. It wasn't on my period, so I made it out okay. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Can't swim with dolphins on your period because they'll just drown you. Dolphins are fucked. Dolphins are like Native Americans. We've been taught to think that they're all cool and fun, and they are murderous motherfuckers. I don't think the Native Americans are the bad ones. You keep going on them.

I think we're the bad ones. I think we've been taught that we're good. I think the Native Americans are sure. I think we were both bad. We're both bad. And we won, so we get the right history. Yeah, that's true. that we're good. I think the Native Americans, I think, I think we were both bad. We're both bad. And we won. So we get the right history. Yeah,

that's true. Don't get eradicated, bro. That's true. Uh, but like, if you told me like, uh,

like, uh, 60% of the world's species have like not even been discovered yet in the rainforest. I'd be like, okay. Like, you know,

the, the amount of water the rainforest produces in a, in a day is equivalent to the entire Atlantic Ocean. Sure, whatever, man. All that shit. You could live in the rainforest and never even see the sun because of the canopy. Whatever. You can tell me whatever the fuck you want about the rainforest.

I think it's all bullshit. I also don't think we need to say that. You know what my craziest rainforest fact to me is, and it has to be bullshit? When it rains sometimes, The tree coverage is so dense, it doesn't get to the ground. That's not true. That's not true is what it is. It's not crazy. It's not true. I just don't believe in

deforestation as a problem. I just don't think so. You're telling me the planet is running out of trees? Kevin, you are taking some angles on this podcast that I'm going to have to distance myself from. I just don't think we're running out of trees. Native Americans are evil and science denying. I can't.

I just don't believe it. I can't get on board. Bro, bro. Like, no, no, no. Just listen to me for a second. Okay. You ever just drive, like, even a little bit upstate New York? There's so many fucking trees.

There's no houses. There's, like, one road going through it. And that's if you get like 30 or 40 miles outside of New York City. Endless trees. Everywhere you look. You ever just fly and you look down? There's nothing but trees. Everywhere.

And then you go all over the world with that. You go to some of these continents where nobody is. There are trees coming out of this planet's asshole. I just don't believe that there's a problem with trees. I can. I see what you're saying. Yeah. I hope you do.

But I just. You just believe what science tells you, don't you? Yeah. You're a sheep. Yeah, I do. You're a sheep. I recognize. But also, I don't think.

People don't make a huge deal of deforestation. I mean, it's climate change that's the problem, which I don't think has so much to do with lack of trees. That's one of the pollutants we're putting in the air. Trees are fine. We chop them down. Guess what? They grow back.

I think, like, it's not great to, like, mow down the rainforest. But I think, I don't think that's the main problem. I think, like, they're two separate issues. So I can come down with you a little bit. You know what? I can agree that there are a lot of fucking trees in the world. Thank you. You better.

You got me on that one. Google that for me. How many trees are in the world? And do you think civilization is going to end in 2050? Yeah, probably. But that's not because of the trees. I'm not getting my hopes up. Yeah, I can tell you what.

The Earth is starting to cry wolf a little bit. Yeah. Like, everyone's dying. Three trillion trees. I was going to say 21 trillion. How much? Three trillion? So I was off by a factor of seven.

That's still a lot of fucking trees. Mr. Science Man over here. Factor of seven seven i don't know what the fuck that means well three times seven is 21 mr science who's times table who says that who says it like smart people a factor of people who know that there are plenty of trees on the planet no the the earth is getting a little like look like shit or get off the pot. Is humanity getting wiped out or not? Look, in my lifetime, I have survived through three It's the End of the World parties. Every time. It's getting to be a little much. And don't they always say that every time a volcano explodes, it's worth like two trillion years of fucking pollution?

I didn't hear that. Right? Isn't it something like that? Like an explosion is worth like a thousand years of cars burning you know yeah but the problem was like the volcanoes were always going to erupt periodically yeah we've added a bunch of other stuff on top i get that but i'm just saying like the earth it can handle pollution it's been doing it for a long time i think about like the human body your body is quite resilient right like like like you know there's healthier ones than me but i I'm going to survive the full length.

Yeah, I mean, but humans have only been around for a very, very small part of the Earth. Yeah, exactly. They did not survive the Ice Age. They did not survive the 150 billion years before that. Right, but the planet did. Right. I'm not saying we're going to, like— Oh, well, this is civilization. Yeah, yeah, I get it. But I'm saying it to me, it's more like like the I mean, the Ice Age is just like it kind of comes.

You know, these things just kind of come and go. They're not like pollution involved. Right. Like the Ice Age happened before there was pollution. Right. Well, I mean, if you count the asteroid that hit and kicked all the dust up into that's what caused the Ice Age was the asteroid. So we're just another asteroids. What you're telling me right now?

I'm saying like we haven't survived all of the Earth's conditions. I think it's very cocky of humanity to say that us and our pollution is equivalent to a meteor, okay? Alright. I just don't believe it. Because like you said, we've only been around for a minute. We do a lot of digging up at the Earth. I would venture to guess we've done

more digging up than the meteor did. No, no, no. I mean, like, just pollution-wise. I bet the meteor did more damage than all of our pollution. That's a fact. It sent the whole planet into an ice age. We haven't done that yet. Well, we're doing it slower.

Yeah. So it gives you time to adapt. The planet is adapting. That's what you said. Yeah, the planet's like a liver. It's like some nights you have a couple beers and some nights you have a thousand and your liver's like,

I gotta work overtime here. That's what the three trillion trees are doing. They're like filtering the air or something. We're fine. And that was science. That's talking science. Back to the office. Give me a couple more.

We have Rudy. Rudy kind of seemed passionate about this one. This is going to be weird. Rudy's a weird kid. Real strange. What's the acceptable length for nipple hair? Zero. Zero centimeters.

I don't know, Rudy. Pretty fucking short. Yeah. Like none, like none dude none it's a short i think it's a short office question but the uh i don't know none none none no no no nipple if you have like long nipple hair like if you've got kind of like the hamburger meat type of chest hair and it just like goes by your nipples that's fine but if you have like like singular hairs that sprout from your nipple that are long just pull it i mean get it out you are disgusting it did seem like a rudy like personal problem but he didn't say rudy has seen somebody with nipple hair recently you don't just think of that yeah like i him a girl he actually like, I've seen some girls too.

I was like, it seems like you've seen one girl in particular. It seems like your girlfriend might have nipple hair, bro. Yeah, no. Everybody, man, woman, no nipple hair. Fully out on that. Last one? Last one, we're going to do technology. Just in general.

Technology in general. This one is because the other one i got um wasn't very good done it was from liz it was summer activities and i don't know not for me no how about no the bar yeah a dark one uh liz would definitely be like like you want to throw the frisbee like no no do you want to go parasailing for sure? Like, no. No. Do you want to let go of parasailing? For sure not. Definitely not. Technology will be the downfall of civilization way before environment. Yes, I agree with that.

I agree with that. Mark my words on that. But it's also, I think part of it is because of our lack of, it's a delicate dance we must do with technology. Where you got to be skeptical, but also you got to just not be an idiot and be like okay this is makes things better this is like i did i was i was calling a wake-up call which by the way i'm a huge wake-up call guy at the hotels love a wake-up call that's stupid it's not stupid it's like from like the 1910s yeah it's awesome just wake up in the morning hello do you know why you want to talk to people i mean you really just grunt they're used to it um and also that just wakes you up more like if i just hit a button i just go right back to bed it's like yeah no no you mean another phone call yes

please but i was setting one the other night when i was in boston and i it was an automated thing so i i when it's automated i so you're willing to call up a phone and then talk to a robot no because it would automate like you press fine but like but like okay communicate to a robot. No, because it would automate like you press keys. Right, fine. But like, okay, communicate with a robot to wake you up in the morning. No, I don't. Rather than just push a button on your phone. No, I'm more willing to go downstairs and talk to the front desk. Because that's what I have to do. Because when I was doing the automated thing, it was like, please set the time.

Say the hour. So I hit seven. And then it said, set the minutes. I went zero, zero. And it said, press one for a.m., two for p And then it said, set the minutes. I went 0-0. It said, press 1 for AM, 2 for PM. 1, AM. Press 1 for today, 2 for tomorrow. It was 12.03 PM.

AM. AM. It took me off my feet. I was like, oh, boy. This one. Does this robot know? This is tough. Does he know that it's kind of commonly accepted to say that it's still tonight?

Or does he understand? I literally sat down at the desk. I was like, shit. This is a fucking brain buster. I was like, I know it's technically today. But does the computer know that? And meanwhile, I imagine the computer is listening to me like, the computer strictly knows that it's today.

Yes, you goddamn fucking asshole. I know. That's all I know is I know things. 24-hour o'clock. That's it. I don't do your stupid humanity shit where you're like, well, I haven't gone to bed, so it's still today. Is the sun or the moon out at the daytime or nighttime? I don't know.

I go by numbers. It's 12 a.m. today. What time is it? It's like 12.03. We're really up against it here. I don't know. Yeah, but that's one of those things where you can now program computers to be like maybe computers are getting so smart that they would know, all right, humans are going to think

it's actually tonight even though it's tomorrow. Oh, boy. They suck at doing that. I'm real fucked. It's like when you look up the definition of literally, and it's like humanity has just decided that figuratively now means literally. So this is the definition, but also you're not wrong. That's kind of the computer.

That's why I think that computers will be the downfall way before everything else. They are getting too smart. They're listening. They're watching. Frankie Borelli does the tape over the webcam and John was surprised by that. I was. I said, you're foolish. I mean, don't get me wrong i don't do it that's what i mean i know that i should yeah i know i know i should

do i was surprised he put forth the effort yeah that's what that's what i mean if someone were to just hand me a piece of electrical tape right now i'd be all right i'll put it on right but other than that i'm not doing i'm gonna go get it now what the fuck rip it stick it no but i mean almost almost every time brendan's got one on the face. The face. Oh, yeah. The face unlock where it scans your face. That's where deep fakes come from. Yeah, that is true. They're just scanning your face

over and over, refining it, making it perfect. They're just going to put your face wherever they want. Yeah, you'll be in a porno real quick. I've actually heard... That or they'll just clone you.

They'll be able to just make you. They'll 3D print you. Yes. They'll just 3D print a human that looks exactly like you. They've got your thumbprint. Because you've been just snapping fucking selfies forever. They've got your thumbprint. Because you've been just snapping fucking selfies forever.

They've got your thumbprint. They've got your face. They've been just listening. Alexa just knows everything you say. Yeah. And they're watching. They're just going to recreate.

They're watching your dick. Every time I finish jerking off, I'm like, ah, somebody watched that. Yeah. So they know your most intimate parts. They'll blackmail you.

Definitely. They've got everything for you. My mom had to get rid, like, my mom, she said Alexa was making demonic noises in the middle of the night, so she just threw it out the window. Not like the window, like the French doors. Like out to the house.

Believer. And she was just out there for a while, like rained on it. And it's not the first time that's happened. The other time was with a Furby where I – it was i guess i had a furby and it was just the middle of the night it was like wow you know making its noises and so my mom woke up and hid it in one of the cabinets in the in the kitchen and then it made it started echoing from there to the point where it woke my dad up and And my mom was already asleep again. So he didn't know what my mom had put in the cabinet.

So he just heard like, ah! That scared me. So he kind of got a broom or something like that. And he was kind of like fucking slamming around in the closet. Meanwhile, this little Furby toy is in there. And then he got so mad from it that when he found it, it got him so mad. You know when you stop being scared and now you're just mad something scared you that wasn't scary? Yes, now you just feel foolish and angry.

So he took it out to the back patio and just beaten the shit out of it with the broom. Just like shouted. I woke up in the morning with just like a strewn corpse of a Furby in the backyard. Like four years old. I mean, that was your father. He wanted to beat you with that stick. I'll settle for the Furby. I don't know if it was my Furby, but it might have been a sibling Furby.

I could throw my kids out the window right now. I have to go to the gym or do something, punch something. Otherwise, it's going to be the kids. I'm going to go home and smash their toys. They just don't go to sleep anymore. Keegan just crawls out of the crib now. He just fucking throws his leg over, like, rappels down, does it all smooth.

He's, like, good at it. Just doesn't go to sleep. I put him in there. He crawls out every single time. And then when I finally do, like, I finally got him to sleep, sat there and rubbed his stupid fucking back and dumb ass for like an hour and then shay comes barging in like oh the ipad battery died and wakes him up and i was like fuck you and fuck you too this is it's like whack-a-mole man honestly the the scene last night and the scene this week

it really it could it could be like a scene on a sitcom called like single dad or some shit like that like i am just absolutely drowning like it is impossible to raise them alone don't ever get divorced it's impossible no matter how bad it is it can't be as bad as trying to keep two humans alive and on schedule yeah i mean they're just i mean just a different word yeah exactly it's like i and i could have been miserable with the person helping me or. Yeah, I actually it's a coin flip. It's a coin flip. It is. I also at this point, I think I'm going to like just let them do whatever they want.

All right. Stay up till fucking midnight. You're going to get tired eventually. You're going to fall asleep. I don't give a fuck. Let the nanny deal with it in the morning. Like I tried to put him to bed from like I let him stay. Usually it's like seven o'clock.

That used to be his old bedtime. Just go back at seven o'clock. Now it's like the sun's out. Full blown sun. And he's like not not having that. So it's like 7 o'clock. That used to be his old bedtime. Just go to bed at 7 o'clock. Now it's like the sun's out. Full-blown sun. And he's like not having that. So I started at 8 o'clock. I tried to put him to sleep from 8 to 11. It's three fucking hours.

Just like, just juggling him. That's impossible. Wouldn't it make the job easier on the nanny if he doesn't go to sleep? Because then he's sleeping most of the time. I don't know. He is going to pass out. They all kind of like, it's all backwards. The more tired the kids get, the less they sleep.

It's all fucked. Really? Yeah. It's this whole thing. Your body kicks into adrenaline. It's like you're so tired you have, like, fight or flight going on. It's crazy. The thing when you get older is you call it your second wind.

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, yeah. Pretty much. All right. Get into these voicemails. All right. Now we're going to bring my boy Kaz back in studio. You saw him on Answer the Internet this week.

Now we're going to sit down with him on KFC Radio. This interview is brought to you by Scentbird. If you ever want to get back in the cologne game, but you don't want to buy a bottle for like $100, and then it just sits there. It's like 60 ounces. You're never going to use it all. You don't know which brand to buy.

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You're back already. Yeah, man. You're just here for Answer the Internet. Yeah, I felt good, man. It's good, actually. This is the first time we've done it this way. Usually, people come in and they do the podcast and all that shit in the same day now we get you here after answer the nice intro too because it's always like wow you stop actually

acting like actual celebrities on answer the internet so like i feel i feel good i feel like i got like the right you know introduction to the audience like answering that's thrown in the yeah yeah yeah we didn't ease you in bro i fuck with it though yeah i like it i knew i mean everybody from flagrant too yeah can hang so i wasn't worried about it at all but that's right up our alley i was like yeah fuck it let's do it yours was fire too man like it's always good i think it was like 13 minutes long that one that's always a good sign when it's when it's long like that that means we didn't have anything to edit out and the more people like think about it and take it seriously, even though it's stupid questions, the more you give it some thought.

I mean, I'll fuck with Answer the Internet. So I'll watch the couple before. And even before, we even really knew each other. So I was like, why are these people taking it so seriously? I'm like, clearly, these are all hypotheticals. Just have fun with it. So that's what I'm doing. That Chris Jenner answer.

That's just like, sometimes Answer the Internet's funny. And sometimes it's like, that was a fuckingner answer. That's just like, sometimes the answer to the internet is funny, and sometimes it's like, that was a fucking smart answer. Chris Jenner, because she protects black men, is like, damn. What person has gone so hard for so many prominent black men? Like, Chris Jenner. It's like Martin Luther King, Chris Jenner. OJ Simpson, Kanye West, Travis Scott, Lamar, I mean,

Reggie Bush. Everybody, man. All these powerful black men, and Chris Jenner has been behind them all the way. So, you know, as long as you fuck one of her daughters, then you're good. You get it all. You fuck one of these hot chicks with their purchased bodies, and then you get the protection, man. It's like being in the mafia. You'll never be in the National Enquirer.

You'll always get the number one album. TMZ will follow you in the good way. Of course. TMZ will be like, you come out of dinner, you look perfect. Of course, yeah. Don't be waiting outside a poppy for you. Nobody's found. Yeah, nobody's ever around when you're looking ugly.

Kanye's gone to a mental hospital ten times. Never seen one. Never seen one. He's clearly telling us, like, yo, I'm fucked up. Like, I have a lot of mental problems. You've never seen him looking bad. Every time we see him, perfect. Motherfucking Mother Teresa's medical records.

Kanye West is still just like, nah, I'm good. Anytime you see Kanye now, he is doing Sunday service, wearing all white, singing church songs, and he looks beautiful. So, yeah. Shout out to the GOAT Kris Jenner. She runs the fucking world, man. If she's like the female LeVar Ball. Yeah, a lot more effective. Exactly, with a better success rate.

Why would you not want that? I think that's an insult. LeVar Ball is like the Walmart Kris Jenner. LeVar Ball is Kris Jenner. You got me there. The dollar store. You got me there. It's definitely dollar store Kris Jenner.

LeVar Ball is. Yeah, what if TMZ caught you in your 2000s prom outfit, bro? That bitch you posted yesterday. I thought I was killing it. Yeah, I know. I know, right? that's the funniest part about looking back on these things like you probably could remember that specific prom that specific outfit you were like yo this tux is dope so like yo my entire thing was like yo i want to look like

a thug angel like i want to prom so like i wanted my jacket to be super long when it got windy i wanted to open it and let it like fly away like like like a you know like the white undertaker or some shit like that and just you know that's the look i was going for i had the hat and everything so you know dude if you're watching if you're watching on barstool gold you'll see the picture uh we'll tweet it out too it is this it's so fucking fun to go back and look at your old self because you don't think you don't think the early 2000s are that long no but it is now yo it's like we're pushing 20 years. So when you look at the photos, you're like, oh, yeah, that was a long time ago.

Like, June, it was on top. Like, Baron Davis was great. Like, these are the early 2000s. That was a long-ass time ago. When I found out today is the 20th anniversary of Larry Johnson's four-point play, like 20 years, man. I remember that game so vividly. You know how I remember it vividly?

Because when it happened, when I wanted to go and, like, be around friends, I had to run outside and yell at the people. You know what I mean? Just, like, make noise. Remember that shit? Instead of, like, going on Twitter and be like, oh, shit, oh, shit. Like, you actually had to go and find people. Like, oh, did you see that fucking play? Did you actually run outside?

Yeah. Me and my brother, I remember vividly. Me and my brother, we lived in Staten Island. And as soon as he hit the four-point play, the game wasn't even over yet. Like, me and my brother just sprinted outside, ran from block to block, and lived in Staten Island. As soon as he hit the four-point play, the game wasn't even over yet. Me and my brother just sprinted outside, ran from block to block, and then other people ran outside. I was like, yo, did you see that?

Yo, did you see that? That was your timeline. Yeah, exactly. The old-school timeline was just like the block. Yes, yes. Nothing good for the Knicks has happened since. We were just joking about it before. The fact that that's what we're celebrating is just a play,

just a singular play where a dude hit a shot. I mean, it was a big one, but Jesus Christ. I feel like you can't do that. You're doing it, so you can't do it. But I feel like in the playoffs, to remember a big play, you have to win. You have to win. If it's what led to a championship, sure. I mean, I guess in Boston we have the 2013, the comeback, Bruins-Leafs.

You know the hockey, right? Yeah, you know. How about that hockey? But we don't have a day of remembrance for it. It's just like, oh, that was a story. That was cool. It wasn't a play. Because you have other shit to talk about. You were down by four goals and you ended up winning. Word. I remember that. John's going to come through Flager 2

and school you guys on about hockey. Please. You know what the thing is about hockey, though? I'll fuck with it as a live sport, but watching it on TV, I can't get into it. But I've been to a hockey game before, and I was like, oh, I totally get it. I completely see why this is really fucking fun. It is definitely the best live sport. And I also understand people who can't play hockey. I mean, Fox tried to fix that problem forever ago with the puck tracker.

Not the best one, but we're working on it. We got the best minds in the lab. I fucked a PK Subban. I was like, okay, black in the hockey, let's get it. And then I saw him talk. I was like, eh. Give us a couple years. Give us a couple years.

Good start. Good start. He doesn't quite count. That's like half. Yeah, he'll be there eventually, but we'll see. Who knows? Let's get into some of these voicemails here. Yeah, let's do it. I feel like this is, again, Flagrant 2 can fuck with these voicemails and these questions.

They're brought to you by Freefly. Yes. Freefly is supposed to be gear for when you're outside and on the go and you're all about that outdoors life. I, myself, I'm a team indoors kind of guy. So the good thing about Freefly is it cuts both ways. You can fuck with it in either way because it's like soft and comfortable and relaxing. And I don't understand how they do this, but the bamboo shirts. How the fuck do you make a shirt from bamboo?

Shut up, bamboo. And it's like the softest shit you've ever worn. Oh, I'll fuck with that. I don't get it. That's science, man. Bamboo shirts, comfortable loungewear. I'll try it. Dude, it's got sun protection. You don't have to worry about that, but we need that shit. I'll try it. Dude. It's got, uh,

it's got sun protection. You don't have to worry about that, but we need that shit. There's all kinds of weird fabrics. Is it silkworms? Silkworms. Yeah. Silkworms.

Silkworms. Yeah. That's weird. Yeah. Who was the first person who was like, that, that, that worm there,

if I make some clothes, whoever wears an animal for the first time, always looks crazy. And so somebody else wears it. And he's like, Oh, that's kind of dope. First person that wore like sheep's wools.

Like, why are you going to wear a sheep? And I was like, Oh shit, that's actually kind of fire. Whole fucking industry. Everybody else goes wears it. And you're just like, oh, that's kind of dope. First person to wear sheep's wool is like, why are you going to wear a sheep? And I was like, oh, shit, that's actually kind of fire. The whole fucking industry. Everybody else goes for it. Go to freeflyapparel.com, promo code KFCRADIO. Hook your dad up for Father's Day. Get him some nice soft clothes,

whether your dad likes to chill on the couch, whether he likes to get out there and do some hiking and some outdoor shit. Either way, your dad's going to be happy with Free Fly gear. Go to freeflyapparel.com promo code KFCRADIO. 20% off. What's up? ...to clean up his hairline and trim his beard.

KFC fights Super Nintendo BC, first time, long time. So, freshman year of college, I had a beard trimmer that I would use to trim my beard, clean up the hairline, you know, and obviously, obviously shave my pubes. So my freshman year roommate would ask if he could borrow it to clean up his hairline and trim his beard. And I would always ask myself that he was

using the same trimmer to trim his beard that I was using on my knuck sack. So this, this would go on all year. Um, and he would borrow it. And then almost 10 years later today, it hits me. Did he also use the same trimmer to trim his peeps when I was gone? Like, am I too naive to think that he didn't use that trimmer to shave his balls

when I wasn't there? Let me know what you think. Dude, I've done this. That's exactly what this guy is doing. I've done this in college. I borrowed my fucking roommate's trimmer and came back from the bathroom when it was like the communal bathrooms

and I had just showered, so I had all my other shower shit and he was like, they kind of laughed and were like busting my balls, like, oh, I bet you were shaving your fucking junk in there. And I was like, nah.

But definitely, though. Thanks, thanks man that kid for sure you got his pubes on your face your pubes on his face everybody's pubes all over everybody i mean we've all we've all kind of shared the same razor for pubes and face like i would have to imagine one of the more common things that like i i've done it where i just straight up told my friend yeah yeah here you go my friends like like i i did it with Dan. Dan did a weight loss challenge with his kitty, a big cat. Yeah. And he wanted to shave everything.

He wanted to get the mustache, the thick mustache at the time. And he's like, I got to get rid of the mustache, so to the way, and can you bring your buzzer? And I was like, sure. And then as he was like two swipes in, he's like, you change your pubes with this too, don't you? And I was like, I mean, yeah, definitely. It's your pubes. It's never gross when it you change your pubes with this too, don't you? And I was like, I mean, yeah, definitely. It's your pubes.

It's never gross when it's your own pubes. But even, I mean. But let it be someone else's. But even if it was yours, like, I mean, I don't want to know. And obviously, if they're like, I can see them and they're like getting on me. But if you told me that like the, I don't know, this steel like clipper thing has been up against your nuts, like, I don't know. I'll lie. I'll lie.

I'll throw it in some alcohol. You'll never know. I got the blue juice. I put lie. I'll lie. I'll throw it in some alcohol. You'll never know. I can just tell you. I got the blue juice. I put it in the blue juice. Barbicide. People don't even fucking ask anyway. They just take it.

Once they're already shaving, it's like, if you only knew, but hey. What a realization this must have been. Where you're just like, oh, 10 years. The whole decade he's been like, that fucking idiot's been shaving. He shaved his face with my... Oh.

Fuck, I bet he was doing it too, wasn't he? The whole decade he's been like, that fucking idiot's been shaving. He shaved his face with my – Oh. Oh, fuck. I bet he was doing it too, wasn't he? I actually – I think one of the more mature things I've done is I had a roommate and I had to shave. I trimmed my fumes of my own, but then I was like, you know what? I got to get – I get nervous putting the buzzer next to the – Yeah. You ever cut it and it looks like you got bit by a spider? Yeah.

Yeah. It's got like five little pieces. The thoughts were just, ah, yeah, I got caught. I want to up you real quick. I did the wax before. Whoa! I fully waxed one time. Don't you have to grow it out for that?

Yeah, I mean, it's pretty grown out. So it wasn't a lot to get off there. But yeah, I went fully slick. I felt like if I went through a fucking Gatorade slip and slide right now, or at that time, I would have went like 40 miles per hour. I was super duper slick and smooth. On top of fucking cocoa butter and water and just no hair. I felt like Michael Phelps.

I was just like fucking slick as a shark in that shit. You went Brazilian on it? Everything. You went Brazilian? Your asshole? When I say everything, I went everything. Did you flip over? Yes.

I did the chest, right? Oh, shit. And then I was doing the boobs. He's like, dude, I said everything. Yeah, bro. I went fully. And the fuck the part about it is it grew back twice as much. That's the old wives tale, man.

Exactly. But maybe I'm making it up. Maybe it was just a little bit too much at that time. about it like it grew back like twice as much uh-huh so like wives tell yeah exactly but you know maybe i'm maybe i'm making it up like maybe it was just like a little bit too much at that time but yeah i went fully waxed and it was just i was smooth as eggs for like three weeks and then it grew back like four times as large that's your body being like fuck yeah that was more hot wax and ripped me off again like this is your lesson right here. That was my fault. And ever since then, like, I've just, you know, just a little box, a little, you know, just a kind of, not even a box, but maybe like a little triangular type of shape. You guys got a landing strip over here?

Like geometry with it? Yeah, fuck it, man. A little trapezoid? Yeah, like I did the little triangle at first, but like. You throw pizza slices on the deck? Yeah, it's a little pizza slice right then and there. So, you know, it is what it is. My legs are kind of big, so you got to give it like a little entranceway.

Like the WWE titantron, like when you walk in, like it's a little screen and shit. I remember when I was younger, I tried to do like, and this is like I wasn't having sex. I wasn't doing anything. I was probably like, I probably barely had pubes Yeah, and I was like trying to shave a J in it Showers it was like I had like I had like a little dumbest kids growing up It's like if you're a girl and you see a fucking shape J and you That's right like is that what gets her in the moves like I was already gonna give you some pussy

But now I see this shave J on your fucking pubic hair. John's dick, girl. Oh, man. You can have it for right now. I couldn't. But you did not succeed? Oh, fuck no. That was the goal.

I was like. Because of, like, physically not being able to do it? Yeah, yeah. But you tried. Who was I? Fucking Bastard of the Barber? Yeah. I fucking.

I got, like, two swipes in. I was like. There's no way I can make a J. Who the fuck did I think I was? You should do it now. I honestly still don't think I could. Go for it. No, no, no.

Like, we'll have, like, somebody has to do it. No, I don't think I have enough pubes. I don't have enough hair to do that. I don't think it goes up high enough. This kid, he's like an inside-out cat, man. There's no body hair on him. Must be nice. So the thing with my hair

it's like it's kind of nappy but like the pubes are like super pressed and smooth so it's like rick james it's like you can't really make shapes anymore and especially like after the wax it grew back so it's just like it's never the same it's never the same after that like you know your young pubes there's no going back they grow like the hair on your head but like now like you know i shave my face a lot my beard's a lot more slicker. So it's more slicker than this. So it's like curly like Jermaine Jackson, Rick James down there. And now you can't even make a shape if you want to.

You just got to like just style it or something. Put some like hair gel. Get some waves going. Yeah, get some waves. I need a do-rag for my pubes. Like, yo, if nobody has done this yet, like, I'm totally down. Like, I'll get, like, the fucking dick do-rag tied around my thighs or something and get, like, waves for my pubes and have them shit spinning.

Like a lamello ball or something. Smooth as hell. Lamello ball. I mean, like, I'm trying to think about that, like, as a clothing designer. I think we can make this work. No. Is Casper a thong? That's what I'm saying.

It's not a thong, all right? Like, it's waves. And, like, if you keep the cape out instead of rolling it up, then no, no. Because, like, it's, like, covering the ass. Like, you look like fucking Yokozuna. And just have, like, the flap on the back. It's like, it's not a thong, bro. Like, sumo wrestlers wear it.

It's fine. I mean, like, it just wraps around the tip of the dick. Yeah, right around the head. There you go. You got like the nuts hanging down. I think we got something. Put some waves in there, get a little orange box, and just brush it a few times a day,

and, you know, take it off and watch the waves spin. Promo code KNC, 20% off at Dick Durag. It's in stores right now. Dude, pubes are such a fucking, like, what a world where everybody's got them and everyone's got to deal with them one way or the other, man. I can't believe you went full Brazilian. Yeah, I got talked into it. And I was like, fuck it.

I was in college. I was like, I don't give a shit. I was in much better shape back then. She was very happy. She was happy. I was in better shape. I was playing ball at the time. So, like, I had, like, you know, I'm all right now.

But back then, you know, I was playing ball a lot. So I was great. So I got my Michael Phelps on. I got real slick. And if I had to swim a 40-meter dash or whatever the fuck, I'd crack a top three. That's also, if you're out there, if you're a dude out there getting Brazilians, I feel like you've got to get your money's worth. You've got to. You've got to be like, girl, you've got to do something special.

If she's already there. Get back down here. Come on. I'm saying if she's already there, if people already know you're getting the wax to the chest and to the pubes, just go all the way. Just go all the way. Dude, that's going to hurt, no? It hurt like fucking hell. Wasn't that maybe like 20 minutes?

How many rips for like your dick area? It was a lot of rips. Like the first, the first rip, and mind you, my pubes are way bigger than they are now, so I'll never do it again. But like back then,

it was still like starter pubes. So it wasn't like all the way there. But like, you know, once you get like the first four or five rips, it's just like, you just go into a zone. You know what I'm saying?

Like it's almost like. I picture, you remember the movie Street Fighter? Yes. When, fuck, what's his name? Who was the sumo wrestler? Ihanda? I picture, you remember the movie Street Fighter? Yes. When, fuck, what's his name? Who was the sumo wrestler? E-Honda?

E-Honda. When he's getting whipped and someone else is like, how do you do that, man? He's like, I can just set my mind somewhere else. Yeah. He goes, next time your mind goes out, tell it to bring back a pizza. Speaking of E-Honda, he had the big do-rag himself. Yeah, he had the flap on the back. Yeah.

That's it right there, yeah. You're getting tortured. You just compared it to torture. It is. There's certain tender spots. The Gooch is like, that was... I'd be like, no, no, no. Move on, move on. That one can stay. I was already there. That's probably the spot you need most. And as I

talk about it, this is just like chicks' lives. They're just doing this shit all the time. I've been saying forever. I think everything is cyclical. Everything in the world. He wants Bush to be back. I don't want to be back.

I think it is back. You can't watch porn and say it's not back. I mean, you've been saying it like regular girls are not rocking big bushes. It's not back. Maybe you see it in porn. But isn't what porn is? Porn is the Milan of the porn. Porn always directs the next trend in technology or sex. But isn't what porn is, porn is the Milan of the porn.

Porn always directs the next trend in technology or sex. Right, like anal was like 10 years ago. They're fucking, and now anal is just in the streets. I remember when eating ass was taboo. Yeah, that's right. That's a kind of speech idea. Mike Adriaan came on the scene, we're like, what is this dude doing? Giving her a colonoscopy with his fucking tongue.

She didn't have a colon. She had a colon, but no. It's like, Jesus Christ, this guy's a fucking madman. And now it's like, Tuesday night, what up? I don't want that, man. I don't need big bushes in my life. I don't think everybody should keep it chill. I mean, you talk about Adriana Chachik all the time.

That chick hasn't shaved her pubes in fucking forever. And I don't like that. That's the one thing about her I don't like. She makes up for it with everything else. Yeah, I't like that. That's the one thing about her I don't like. She makes up for it with everything else. Yeah, I can see that. You guys, we got Lisa Ann. As this episode airs, we'll be interviewing Lisa Ann. She was on Flagrant 2 the other day.

Yeah, she killed it too, man. She's the best. I feel like the one clip I saw where she was discussing how out of her way she went to make sure she did interracial. Yeah. She broke down barriers, bro. Was she like the first? She wasn't one of the first, but she was definitely

like the biggest at the time to like go at that point. Like no one asked me how much I know this much. But like she was. Don't worry. On this show, you're good. It is what it is.

But yeah, like she was definitely one of those people that I remember. Like granted, my porn knowledge isn't that far, but like in my age, by the time I was like 12, 13,

she was like one of the first big, you know, white porn stars that was like fucking like black people. So I was like, oh shit, was one of the first big white porn stars that was fucking black people. So I was like, oh, shit. I get down with this shit. The culture, man. I felt spoken to.

Representation matters. I was in the white girls back in the day. I mean, that makes sense. I guess we take it for granted that there's just so much white porn out there. You watch white porn? I watch all types of porn. When I'm getting in the zone and I, like, zone out, like, I kind of want to imagine that it's me.

Yeah, yeah. See, I never do that. Everyone always says that. Like, oh, I can't imagine it's my dick. I don't fucking care. Yeah, but it's easy for you because everybody's white and white. Oh, wait. Oh, I watch.

You can't even. I'm on Black's Raw fucking, like, most of the time. Yeah, bro. Yeah, see, what you don't get is that it's, like, a special thing for us. Yeah, exactly. Like, these giant black dudes. It's a special thing. That's a whole angle. Yeah, no, bro. Yeah, see, what you don't get is that it's, like, a special thing for us. Yeah, exactly. These giant black dudes, that's a whole angle. Yeah, no, absolutely. She said, like, when she went and did it, that, you know, she wouldn't get any business after that.

Like, it would ruin her career. And, like, she went out of her way to make sure that, you know, like, there was representation there. And, like, she was kind of ahead of her time with that. And she did it for, like, that reason? Yeah, yeah, that's what she said, man. Like, she thought, you know, she had a lot of, she clearly has a lot of black friends, and, like, you know, especially in the business, and she thought this is where the business was going,

so she went for it, and, like, she became, you know, pretty known for that. Pioneer of black dick. Yeah, man. Pretty good. Shout out to Lisa. I've known Lisa for a number of years. Aside from being, like, an incredible porn star,

she's, like, no joke, like, one of the top five coolest humans I've ever met. Yeah, she's's i'm very excited to talk to her so that'll probably air next week on kfc radio go check it out now on uh flagrant 2 next up hey kfc fights and my favorite to producer bc oh fuck that this is a girl that called you guys fat a couple months ago fuck you double i was just re-listening to it because it's like the best thing that ever happened me which is like sad but like whatever you call me a fat bitch anyway i'm a skinny bitch with an

okay ass just yeah prove it prove it um but my question is whatever happened to the treadmill kfc talked about it for a long time said you're like we all knew you probably weren't going to use it but i was re-listening to that, and he said you've got to get on the treadmill. Haven't talked about it in a long time. So, got to get that summer body in shape. Well, here's the thing. The summer's here. Summer body getting in shape.

That ship has probably sailed. Maybe the fall body. Fall body, yes, but it's a fucking fall body. Basically, we're shooting for summer 2020. No, summer bodies don't happen anymore. It's never too late, bro. You literally, to get in summer good shape,

you need maybe three weeks of just intense something. And you can see the difference. Starvation. Yeah, starvation. You go to GNC, get you a couple of those fucking pills that make you shit every two minutes, and then you're good. That's what I do.

I had a great body going from like june to like april ish and i'm like marchish and then like i kind of fell off and i was like all right fucking i'm gonna go to gnc let me get some cleansing shit i'm gonna take a shit every like 25 minutes i'm gonna you know have all this fucking energy when i go to the gym like three that sounds like an eating disorder bro yeah it might be after every meal. You're just a chick. You've got an eating disorder. You wax your shit.

If it comes out of your ass, it's fine. If it comes out of your mouth, it's problematic. That is a good point. It's true. It's a good rule of thumb. It's gone where it's supposed to go. All the shit that you need will stay. So if it comes out of your ass, you're fine.

Your body doesn't need it. All right. All right. Fair. Point taken. I think. I don't know. It might be completely bullshitting again. But hey, it feels better when it comes out to your ass, I guess.

I bought this. Let's clip that right there. It definitely does. It does. I love this shit. Things better going out of your ass than coming into your ass or going out of your mouth. Facts. That's just undeniable.

And I have definitely came up with better ideas of stuff coming out of my ass than coming out of my mouth. Like, when I'm throwing up, you're thinking about all your regrets. But when you're taking a shit, you're like... You got that galaxy brain. You're like, I should start a podcast. And then you get your best ideas when you're sitting in there. That's my office. As far as the treadmill,

I got this treadmill, like, months ago. And I used to just pop it open. I would just, like, walk and watch a game, walk and watch a TV show. And then I moved, and I packed it up. That'll do it. I'm not going to unpack it. I mean, it's as simple as literally it's just taped. They just taped it together when you folded it up.

So it's not even like it's in a box or in a storage. It's like right there. I could just pull the tape off and open it up. But that ain't it. I feel like once a treadmill is sealed, like folded up, it's like basically be sealed in like a coffin that thing is now dead it's broken actually probably that's it that's the effort that it takes to open that shit is just not even worth it i just got into a peloton oh yeah and shit yeah like they got like some guy on there that like really fucking like motivates you and like yells at you and calls you do like the classic on a

little screen yeah and like some of it is live and like other ones are like pre-recorded like that that's just pretty cool dude i used to do spin class all the time yeah same thing but i do it live right and i i don't know if you have your choices with like who you're you clearly do with your your uh constructor is yeah but i could not do it with straight guys yeah because like if it's when I get called out like a gay guys are calling the big John. Let's go My bad my bad my bad and the girls I'd be like, let's go John. Let's go and get your ass up I'm like, you're right my bad my bad and if a guy like dude, I'll fucking Yo, I'm tired I'll fucking kill you I took a soul cycle class with Flo Rida one time.

What? It was the weirdest experience of my life. Like, so, you know, I used to, you know, write for a lot of music publications. So, like, they would have these events where you go listen to new albums and stuff like that. And a lot of people didn't want to get out the box and do different things. So, Flo Rida was really on his fitness kicks. He was like, yo, we're going to do a fucking soul cycle class. I'm going to listen to my new album.

And, like, if you already don't like spin and you got to listen to new Flo Rida music, it was literally yo we're gonna do a fucking soul cycle class i'm gonna listen to my new album and like if you already don't like spin and you gotta listen to new flow rider music it was literally your tongue you bite oh my god he's a performer of a generation my friend what's next you're gonna tell me you don't like pitbull too first of all pitbull's the god i just need to check we're good we're good if i'm at if i'm at an event and pitbull's performing there i'm at the right fucking event. I was at New Orleans Jazz Fest a couple weeks ago, three weeks ago, four weeks ago. Pitbull burned the motherfucker down. What was his line?

Didn't he have an incredible line? Oh, shit. It was existential. He was just like, you're here, they're not. Let's have fun. Something like that. No, he's like, whenever you're having a bad day and people are giving you a hard time,

just say, I'm going to go live like Pitbull. and what was it um in his white pants i'm sure the white pants black shirt same thing it was uh but he's like it was something along the lines like if you're ever having a bad day just think about pipple and go live like pipple and pipple said what would people do that sounds like wwpbd what would Pitbull do? I know you want me. I know you want me. That's my shit, bro. He put on Timber, and it was like,

I mean, I was at, it was called the Congo stage. It was like the ass-shaking stage. And he put on Timber, and it was like

a fucking mad rush. Everyone was like, So here's the thing. The thing about Pitbull, right, so I used to write for the Source magazine for like five years. So I remember when Pitbull was like unsigned hype and that is like

the most like legit like you are a real motherfucker you got all the street cred in the world like you came from the miami streets and unsigned hype that's like people were like nah it's biggie like the greatest of greatest rappers you know what i'm saying and if you're somebody who's like oh i can't fuck with pitbull that's not not real music. That's not hip-hop. Dude, you just don't like fun. Yeah, for real. How are you in a bad mood when a Pitbull song comes on? Pitbull's like the version, he's like the music version of Fast and Furious movies.

Facts. Facts. It's like, yo, I'm not giving it the best of whatever, but this is fucking dope. No, if you don't like Fast and Furious movies, it's almost like you're un-American. It's like, okay. I'm telling you, dude. It's like, yo, if you don't like car crashes and explosions and hot girls

and The Rock, you're just not American at all. We need Pitbull to be in Fast and Furious. I just hope it all fucking comes to a head. I've had a Google Calendar set up for Hobbs and Shaw. Yo. Hobbs and Shaw looks fucking fired. That's what I want to see at movies dude Friday August 2nd

Let's go I even got a picture of the AMC I know where I'm at If you look at me Friday August 2nd I'll be at the 19th street AMC Watching Hobbs and Shaw You have never made plans in your life And there's shit like two years in advance

But I was like I was never like two years in advance the uh but I was like always I was never like an anti-pipo guy but I didn't love him until he did um

it was something like it was a major major Facebook group was started it was like he was in some kind of uh contest

with Walmart I think okay where it was like um it was like vote you know every town vote whatever town wins with the Walmart

the people come to a concert at your Walmart. Okay. And the internet got a hold of it. And so there's a big Facebook group, like send people to Anchorage, Alaska. Yeah. And it was like the smallest Walmart, the small town and like the whole internet just kept voting for that one.

And like anyone else probably would have been like, oh, fuck that man. Like they're trying to make an asshole out of me. They went and did that shit. People went and did that shit. Killed it too. Smoked that shit. 200 people in to make an asshole out of me. He went and did that shit. He killed it, too. 200 people in some fucking small town in Alaska. Pitbull's just on stage in his coat. I was like, that's my fucking guy.

My Pitbull story was when I think he was performing somewhere, and I think somebody tried to run up on him on stage, and he beats the shit out of him in the middle of the performance, knocks him out, throws him back in the crowd, grabs the mic, and continues the performance. I was like,

sold. I'm Pitbull Hive until the day I die, bro. That's my fucking guy. The realest in the fucking game. Yo, he's got all... Was he really unsigned hype? He was in the unsigned hype, bro. He was signed to Slip N' Slide Records. He was signed to Slip N' Slide Get Loose. The realest of real Miami motherfuckers.

And Miami's like the dirt. We all see sunny, beautiful Miami, but if you've been to day town like the realest of real miami motherfuckers like and miami is like the dirt like if you've been to like we all see like sunny like beautiful miami but if you've been to like daytown like the real miami that's the fucking he's got he's got all the street cred in the world and he's become like a mega pop star how you're not gonna root for that how much is he worth oh god take a guess oh you know no i mean we'll google it real quick i mean he's gotta be nine gotta be nine figures right i mean he's gotta be? I mean, he's got to be big money. I bet you he's one of those guys that he has money you don't even like. Listen, anytime I listen to a commercial and I hear a Pitbull beat, I'm like, yeah, that's another million.

Yeah, right. Shit like that. It's just like, you don't even understand. I'm going to guess 150. It's got to be nine figures. I'm going to go 220. I would insult that, too. 80 mil a year. He needs new business people. 80 mil a year?

No, 80 mil. That's it? No, a year. Yeah, 80 mil total. Oh, man. I would have guessed. I was going to say 200. I thought he was big money like that. I would have got pitbull to the billy by this point. Seriously. He doesn't have anything else. He's got all the music in the world,

but he doesn't have clothing or liquor. He's one of those guys that has like, all the... He should, though. I mean, like, all that shit that he's always wearing, there's money to be made with that shit. I'm surprised he doesn't have liquor. Like, you get, like, a tequila or something like that. I would drink a pitbull tequila. You know what it is? If he had some fucking, some tequila

called Dale. You wouldn't drink that? Fuck George Clooney. Like, Dale! Come on! Fuck that. We're taking that. Cut that out. Fuck George Clooney. Like, dale. Dale. I mean, come on. Fuck that. We're taking that. Cut that out. We're doing it. It went like this,

though. They have his career earnings by year. So here says $164 million. Boom. There you go. That makes more sense.

They did from 2007 through 2018, $6 million, $4 million, $8 million, $8 million, $6 million, $10 million,

$11 million, $12 million, $7 million, and then it goes $20 million, $27 million, and then last year $35 million.

So he's on the fucking That's only going to go 20, 27, and then last year, 35. Bang. So, he's on the fucking- That's only going to go up, too, man. Seriously. I'm sure he's bought his masters at this point. So, every time some big fucking company uses his song or whatever- Money in his pocket, dude. Gets every single set, bro. The Jay-Z thing when he just became the billionaire, was that yesterday?

Yeah. That was- I didn't realize- His number one thing was the cognac, wasn't it? I believe so. Yeah, that's right. Shout out to Ducey. Ducey Palooza, you already know, all day, every day. His number one thing was the Cognac, wasn't it? I believe so. Shout out to Ducey. You already know, all day, every day. He's kind of my boss or one of them, so shout out to that. But what really put him over the top, I think, was title. Really?

Yeah, those streaming numbers. It's not like Spotify and Apple, but people sign up for that, and he gets billions of streams like every year. Yeah. It is crazy. Like it's the laughing stock, but it's also like, it's like the laugh.

Right. Laugh it up, man. And then, and it's the, and it's the, the content too. It's like,

he gets to stream like Summer Jam, all these big concerts and all this other shit through the app and only the app. And those things cost a lot of money. So I'm pretty sure he made a lot of money off of that. Do say stuff. He's an investor in like Uber. Yeah. Well, that's the thing.

Once you get rich, you just get like options for real. Forget about rapping and partying and shit like that. Now you're just investing in like apps and technology and that shit. Of course. Yeah. But I mean, it's wild when you look at Diddy, Dre, and Jay, like billionaires. Yeah. Yeah.

Like rap game, if you can make it. Yeah, man. It's good money if you can get it. Yeah. You know, it's good money. If you can get it. Yeah. That's like mogul type shit. And I'm sure, I'm sure he's been a billionaire for longer than this past week, but you know,

it's just, it's without Beyonce, right? Yeah. Yeah. So, so he's been a billionaire. That family's been a billionaire for,

they forgot to figure what he did with the raw man. I was going to say, he was a billionaire in 96. Exactly. He said he was still spending money from 88 in 1996 I'm like you know that shit is off the books the books he's been a billionaire president room that's reasonable doubt first album came out the gate talking yeah that was I was back and guys were like, I don't want to be a rapper because I'm making more money over here.

It's just a bad business decision. That's basically what the first Reasonable Doubt album was. I'm making so much money doing drugs, I gotta do something legally. He invested in himself. Nobody would sign him. They started Rockefeller Records with Dave Nash and Biggs and Burke and the rest is fucking history. That's what 50 did with his first

album bonus or whatever it was, right? He just bought a shitload of pure coke. He's like, yeah, if this doesn't go right. That's a great investment. I got to have something else to go back to. Dude, my favorite story. We got a guy here, Francis, who's the whitest man alive. Went to Harvard.

Oh, Francis. He was on the show. Oh, yeah. Have you heard about him dealing coke? No, I haven't. But he did do the Jaloff Wars on our episode. Yeah. We had Ghana, Senegalese, and Nigerian.

And he, you know, white people and spices. They can't take that shit. So it was really funny to watch him eat, like, very spicy food. That was, that's probably, that's the whitest thing Francis has ever done since this. He's trying to deal drugs. And he didn't know that you were supposed to cut it up so he was just selling like pure Colombian white. Oh Jesus Christ.

And he was like, I'm not making any money off this. He's like, this is not making any sense. Like I'm not making enough cash here. And I'm sure everyone buying from him was like, yo Francis has that shit. Thank you. Everyone kept coming back. They loved it but I was losing money. Oh my gosh. Why is everybody buying all this shit?

It's not stepped on, not cut on, not nothing, that shit. Beautiful. Good for him. He did well in the community. Shout out to him. Heard it was a drought. KFC by Superducer PC. PC.

Anyways, I was at my little brother's graduation this weekend, and just watching kind of how the moms act on that day. Some of them act fucking psychotic over the difference between sitting in row eight or row nine. And it got me thinking there should be like a reality TV show based on this shit or like a little documentary. So it got me wondering if you guys could make or wish there was a reality TV show for one like weird random thing that's not out there like not like a new real world but some random topic no one's ever done before what do you think

you would do? Is this man's show his idea is just angry white women? Is that what it is? Sounds like Real Housewives I think that exists They have seven versions of this show Or as Chris Rock says, ungrateful bitches. Fighting over...

There was a couple of those videos this season on the Barstool Instagram. People fighting over graduation seats. Because that's the number one safe seats where you roll up with your family and you're like, nah, these 10 are all for me. Fuck that noise. But that is a big time white people fighting scenery. The graduation's a new one this year, man. Really?

I don't think it's new. There was two or three of them where they were just like people throwing fucking hands over, like at the graduation. It was crazy. All that thuggish activity. You hate to see it. Yeah. When I went on Flavoring 2, the hate session that went on with Akash and Kaz, just making fun of the white women with the short haircuts.

Oh, oh. It was just. Listen, listen. My son is my Valentine haircut. It's a short little bob that all white women get when they're single moms. It's like, you know, me and Trevor are doing fine without you. Like, yeah, we just kind of went in on that type of shit. Shout out to the white women

that listen to this show. I'm sure you're not going to feel any type of way about this. There's some old chick right now going, oh, fuck. I got that haircut. Nah, I don't think so. Not yet. They will. They will grow. It's the short bob and the part in the swoosh. That's the fucking, you know, they drive a Nissan Altima.

They bugging. They got a son named Trevor, and, you know, they drop him off at Ray Ray's house. You got to have one mental breakdown, like one legit mental breakdown before you get that haircut. I think our demographic skews a little younger. Like 90% of them will have the haircut one day, but no one has it. You got to get your first legit Xan prescription. You do it like martinis for breakfast type shit. You got to crash into your garage at least once with a bottle of white wine in the passenger seat.

Blame it on Ambien or some shit like that. Yeah, exactly. You got to almost put Yellowfoot Wine out of business with as many bottles as you buy. And I think once you're crying in the bathroom by yourself for 40 minutes, like the ticker goes off. Like an Xbox achievement. Like you are now eligible for short white women. Yeah, she gets up in the mirror and she's like, you know what, girl?

I know what we need. I need a change. I need a change. I mean, I kind of understand it, though. I feel like that's when women reach their breaking point where they're just like, I fucking hate my kids. I hate this job. I hate it.

Like I'm just chopping my hair off. Like, and the last thing is I have to blow dry my hair all day. It's a control thing. Yeah. I want to be able to control something. So I can control my hair. Fuck this.

The, um, the thing I would, I would think of though is I, I think of reality, uh, a retail reality show. Is there one of those?

Meaning what? Just like following, uh, just like, like inside a Walmart or something. You ever done like retail? Like it's like every, I did real stuff before. I used to work at a abercrombie fitch no my first job yeah really yeah like a teenager i think i was a senior in high school a junior in high school yeah i was holding shirts and i was one of those guys at one point where i

would stand outside you were a greeter i was a greeter and good yeah i was like abs abs at one point now i have like a two-pack you had said earlier. You were in good shape. I had abs abs at one point. Now I have a two pack. You had said earlier that you were in good shape and I was like, oh, you were in Abercrombie, you were shirt off. Absolutely. I was sitting in front of the sidewalk sales during the mall. It was me. I was the only black guy that worked there. It was Staten Island. And another white guy. And we would sit

there and greet people and they would take pictures with us. Yo, you're like a reverse Lisa Ann, bro. You were breaking down the barriers the other way, working at Abercrombie with your shirt off, man. Yo, I remember like, what, like 10 years ago when the hood discovered Hollister and Abercrombie, and I was like, I've been on this shit, bro. Quality hoodies and tees.

I was like, yo, I'm telling you, the jeans was good. When brothers started wearing tight jeans and they're over the ankles or whatever, I'm telling you, I was on it first. I'm like, y'all late. I've been late, bro. bro how's the bin had that shit that's a reality show watch black guy at abercrombie fish great fucking show i used to work at like a gnc in east providence and just the people who come in there would be like like i mean like our most expensive product was niacin powder which we had to keep locked up because niacin, it's a vitamin B powder, but it's white and looks a lot like cocaine.

So it was like, we marked it up so high because all the coke dealers would come. And it was so funny. Like, dudes would come and dress like people in Alaska. They roll up in the Esco, they park in the fire lane, with this big coat, just a wad of cash. Like, I need a bottle of niacin, your biggest one.

And I'm like, dude, you're not even trying to hide it, are you? Like, yo, you could buy this online cheaper, and I wouldn't be like, this guy's a coke dealer. Don't get me wrong, I'm like, let me get your number. If I was a different person, I might call cops and be like, this guy clearly is cutting cocaine in his car.

Listen, I love you flipping, dude. See, I've never dealt drugs in my life, so that's good. But I know a lot of people who have dealt drugs. I've seen the process numerous times, but yes, you don't want to do a Francis and just give out fucking pure white, uncut Colombian

type of shit. But shout out to... Whenever you hear that the drought is over, you've got to thank God it's like Francis. You're getting the streets back active. Shout out to the plug of all plugs, Francis from Barstool. Oh, man. All right, brother. I appreciate you coming through.

Of course. Flagrant 2 is the podcast. You also do a bunch of other shit, no? Yeah, man. I got a show on Slam called the Kaz and Vic Show. So that's like a straight up basketball show. I'm the head of content at Station. That was a really dope app.

You could download it and create your own type of podcast or radio shows or whatever. And I'm one of the founders of Do Say Palooza. We'll be in Atlanta on June 14th at Masquerade. I'll be at the Belasco in Los Angeles on June 22nd. We should go to Do Say Palooza. Pull up, man. It's BET Awards weekend. It's right up your alley. Come fuck with us, man.

Reality show? Two white guys go to Do Say Palooza? Yes. Bring everybody, dog. Come through. It's going to be a good time. It's going to be a good time. And he's about to roll over and do My Mom's Basement with Bob Fox. So he's going to talk some wrestling with Bobby Fox. So catch him on that and follow him on all social and all that shit. Yes, sir. At RealLifeCaz, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, whatever the fuck you use.

Thanks, man. Oh, this is fun. Oh, yeah. Oh, we're two for two. Even though I'm late, this is awesome.