KFC Radio - Kevin Bacon & Carly Aquilino Interviews, Chris D'Elia's Many Allegations

Episode Date: June 18, 2020

Subscribe, Rate, and Leave a Review. We start off the episode talking about the many allegations that have come out against Chris D'Elia. We talk about the people who spoke up immediately, those who didn't, and why you can't trust someone who doesn't have a vice. We go on to talk about the viral video of the cop who freaked out about McDonalds. Feits has a hot take. AITA Thursday returns with an adoption and hot sauce sex. Voicemails include winnable game shows, mapquest, and what grade missed out the most during the pandemic. Carly Aquilino (Girl Code, The King of Staten Island) joins the show. We discuss the clip KFC saw of hers that made him know she'd fit it on the show. She also gives us her perspective on the Chris D'Elia allegations. We go on to discuss why she doesn't drive, stand up comedy, acting, and much more. Check out her podcast Secret Keepers Club here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/secret-keepers-club/id1412042369 Kevin Bacon returns to the show. He has a new scary movie coming out (June 18th) called You Should Have Left. We talk about the what he likes about scary movies, adapting them from novels, and more. We also get his take on celebrity selfie video compilations (Imagine, I Take Responsibility), their intention, and their reception on social media. Make sure to check out his movie on demand. You can catch the trailer here: https://youtu.be/Bw0-cV_J9q4 Let us know what you think on twitter: @KfcRadio @KfcBarstool @feitsbarstool @carlyaquilino @kevinbacon Subscribe to our Youtube Channel for daily clips and full video podcasts (Wed, Fri): https://www.youtube.com/user/KFCradioYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. You know, my motto? Abuse substances, not children. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. We got to get into it. Big topic in the world of comedy and podcasts and the Internet and just life in general the last couple of years. Chris D'Elia, the latest to probably seemingly at the time of recording this, you know, find himself in a cancel situation after a lot of DMs with girls who are

either underage. Too many. Too many. I'll be brave enough. It's too many. You want to come on this podcast? You're going to get those kind of opinions. Too many girls to creep on there. Way too many of them.

Some of them... Honestly, do you know how hard it is to make me bored of reading salacious texts? I get it. After three, four full thumb scrolls and it's still going, it was like, all right, yeah, point taken. Now, a lot of them are girls 17, 19, some of them 16.

I don't know the legality here. I don't know the rules, this, that, the other thing. I do know this looks very bad. And it looks at best creepy, at worst, you know, illegal. When that's the moon you're shooting for, it's not a problem. What I learned today, what I learned last night, I suppose,

is that one, Dalia's pretty fucking creepy. And I'm not going gonna drive pretty delia's creepy okay you it is so much weirder having your sexting flirty texts released when they're with underage girls because like if mine released there'd be weird stuff that i don't want out there like that like just like just weird stuff you say the one that i want out there. Just weird stuff you say that I don't want out there. But this isn't weird stuff. That's the problem. It's very benign.

If I was saying that to a 30-year-old girl, she'd be like, what the fuck? Are you a virgin, dude? That's how he's talking to them. That makes it all the more creepy because it's like, how would you lure and seduce a 16-year-old? Imagine saying to an adult woman, you want to come over and make out naked?

Make out naked. That makes it so much weirder. My sex is going to be like, you want to come over and do anal later? Because we're 35 and we've done everything else we can do. And this is like, hey, let's kiss because you've probably only gotten to first

base. Oh my god, it's terrible. Peepies and smiley faces it's look again there's there's no one everyone's got like weird text to adult people right you don't want out there right it's so much creepier it's like it's like you can see like the grooming because you can see like if i said to you what i say to regular people you'd be scared because you're a child right i gotta come down to your level and and talk like you talk and that's why i sound like you know one of your fellow eighth graders that was me and i was just sending those to all the age women you'd be like you are the weirdest dude alive and it's even now they're underage it becomes so much weirder and i mean and

then the obvious, like, the thing that's really making this, I think, like, D'Elia's definitely a big enough star that it's news. I didn't know he was like that. What do you mean? I didn't know. And he was creepy? No, no, no, no, no.

Oh, fuck, obviously that, yeah. But geez, you almost caught me on one there. Like, no, I knew. No, no, no, no, I knew. Anyway. No, I just didn't know. Like, I knew all those L.A. podcasters make a lot of money, but, like, I didn't realize he was, like, fucking rich, rich.

Well, no, yeah, that, I think, like, I don't think he'll be, like, on the news. I don't think your parents would know about him. I think that if you're plugged into podcasts and the Internet and stand-up, and then the fact that he runs in the Rogan circle, he's definitely a big name. And that's why it's out there and becoming salacious and gossip. But the real kicker here is he's played a pedophile on TV several times now. And it's been a thing that he's kind of joked about.

And it just feels like one of those a thing that he's kind of joked about and it's, it just feels like one of those things where he's hiding in plain sight. And then, you know, his, his, he calls his fans, the babies. And like, that's not there. That's probably nothing, but it's just like all these puzzle pieces start to fit retroactively. And you're like, Oh my God, it was right in front of us the whole time. And a lot of that was probably jokes and shit. Like the clip that's going viral right now or is being circulated now is him saying he thinks that Pizzagate rumors and conspiracy theories are stupid. So do I.

You know, like that's not – he didn't have that take because he was a pedophile. Now, I will say, did you see the comments on that YouTube from two months ago? No. There was like three comments in a row one was like you sound suspiciously defensive of this right now two was like uh this this rant is not going to age well and the third one was something like you know uh like when the time comes for you like we'll remember this sort of thing so like you know not not that youtube commenters are the barometer here but it was just like that was out there and you did.

There were kind of weird segments and was some weird material. The acting roles, the names, the jokes. He's like notoriously private in his personal life, which up until now is OK. It's just like, oh, I don't know. He's not he doesn't want to share his details. Now something like this happens and everything starts to look like, you know, you look at everything under a microscope and it's like oh shit that was so i was surprised that any of the girls even like that it should have been like dude you're too old for me and like you're you're like gross old as soon as he was like email me like what kind of 17 year old girl is like firing up their gmailails, yeah. I don't think I ever used email until like Bristol.

Yeah. I didn't use email in college. I didn't. Certainly, I don't use any email for like any personal shit. You know what I mean? Right. It's all business at this point. It's all just like email stuff to be like, yeah, email me.

You know what I mean? I guess like it's one of those things like, ooh, it's a celebrity or whatever. But I'd be like, that's insane. No the same. I'm not, no, I'm not good. I'm not going to turn on notifications now for my email because we're acting like it's a text conversation. Like I do this now. I've actually, I'm on my email less because we're not just sitting in front of a computer all day. And I find emails from like 18 hours ago, 24 hours ago,

48 hours ago that I didn't reply to. If I'm supposed to sex with you and it's going to be two day breaks. No, no, we can't do this. I mean, especially when you got to like, you know, well, sorry, I can't email you back. Like I don't have any more screen time. My parents are taking away the iPad. I mean, it's so, I just, I will just never understand it. And I know that's, that's how I know it's like a mental sickness. Cause it's like people with regular, regular brains. It just doesn't make sense to me that it's like have hook up with a 21 year old, which even that as a 40 something, you know, that's,

that's going to be weird, but it's going to be okay. Why does it have to be just on the other side of the line like that's where it's got to be something about like i don't know that's where it's it's mental right because it's like here's a beautiful 22 year old there's a hot 17 year old and you're gonna pick that it's just there were like definitely like it's like a sickness i guess because there were there were two in particular that stuck out to me where one one was he liked reminding a girl she was in high school. We'll throw the allegedly button on all this stuff, but there's literally hundreds of them. But one of them, he liked talking about how she was in high school.

Yeah, and I did benefit of the doubt in the beginning. I was like, well, did she ever disclose her age? And I think every guy at this point should know to ask. But you can lie. You can hide it. And these days you don't know how old someone is just by looking at them. So I was like, maybe that's it. And then you see several conversations that are like, but I'm 17 and you're 30.

And he, like, kept the conversation going. So, you know, you can't even hide behind that one either. And then the other one was a girl told him she was a virgin and his eyes lit up. And he said, so if we have sex, it'll hurt. I mean. And again, like illegal, I don't know, super fucking creepy. Most definitely. And that's almost, you know, just as bad in this situation. This is one too where like i was with i was like kind of like you were like i think you sent me one last night

and i was like i was like oh boy that's not good but there is like if you dm someone they don't have you don't have their birthdays in their thing so if you dm one person it's like oh okay like that was a mess whatever fuck it when there are hundreds others what's the number that's like in like situations like this i like like if you don't believe it, then what number has to hit for you to believe it? It's not four. It's not 20. It's not 30. It's not 50.

Again, I'm saying hundreds. I don't know if it's exactly hundreds. It's dozens. It's for sure dozens. It's all from she rates dogs. I know. Once she rates dogs i know once once she rates dogs you're out yeah you're done once once that that account puts you on blast and starts to amplify all those other girls you are cooked but i mean and then i saw uh the dm said uh he's deleting

things from his facebook which i don't know if it's true or not. But if that's the case, if you're on social media and you're witnessing the storm and you're doing shit like deleting, but you're not coming out and saying anything. You know, if that was if that was me or you, I'd immediately be like, this is fucking crazy. Like, I mean, I guess when there's proof, you can't say anything. But let's say I was rumored to hook up with underage girls. I would immediately be like, no fucking shot, dude. So like silence is, is deafening in that case. I guess once you have all those, uh,

you could probably play the card of like legally speaking. Like I, you know, my lawyer advised me not to or some shit, but, but then, all right, fine. But then you're just cooked in the court of public appeal. So it's up to you. The, there, there are a few things. think we have kevin bacon on the show there kevin bacon and carly alkeen alquino aquilino aquilino oh fuck uh carly aquilino on the show today and kevin bacon actually said something because we talk about the imagine video and uh and the uh the the racial like the black compilation video. Kevin Bacon says, I thought it was a great line, he says,

I'm a heartbeat away from fucking up too. He kind of says those people's hearts was in the right places. These are the imagined people and the Black Lives Matter people. I always kind of agree with that. I'm always like, look, I don't know. I could fuck up. I could have fucked up. It comes for everybody. Here's the one. I'm always like, look, I don't know. I could fuck up. I could have fucked up overall. It comes for everybody.

Here's the one thing I'm promising you right now. Not coming at me for this. I'll throw it. I guarantee I'll throw a G word stamp on it. This one's not happening. You know what? It will. It's not that it might be. It will be something

else. We will get canceled one day because when you do what we do, you talk as much as we talk. You touch all these topics. You live my life. I mean, it already almost happened to me once. It will probably happen to me again. But it's going to be for something better than this. I mean, I can guarantee that.

I'm going to have a bad day on Twitter probably a couple times before I die. I'll go bad on Twitter. Not going to be for – they on Twitter probably a couple times before I die. I'll go bad day on Twitter. Not going to be for – they won't even be for DMs. See, that's why you're brilliant, dude. That's why you're brilliant. I mean you just do not – I was going to say don't like give in to the temptation, but you're just not even tempted to do it. You just don't have the desire because anybody –

I have a desire to hook up with women. I'll stay. Whatever. I'm being brave a couple times on this show today but it's it's not it's not to first of all with underage ones but second of all i just i don't think the dm the i'm not i'm not a shoot or shoot guy i think the dm you got to put up numbers to get one even work yeah that it's and you don't want to do that yeah it's not worth the effort that it's and you don't want to do that yeah it's not worth the effort for me and if you know and again if it was like uh one or two girls were like i was 17 and it never really even went anywhere but these dms are creepy you could be

like well yeah that guy threw out dms to like every pretty girl and you know whoopsie mystical i mean there's so many there's so there's there's a comical amount of evidence on this one that is just bad. He must have spent his whole day on his – I'm on my phone a lot. I've actually been on my phone so much since it's crazy. But I'm on my phone a lot. His must be surgically attached to his hand. Do you talk to that person that often? I saw someone tweet for a guy that searches his name on Twitter

and replies to people all night long. You know, you're suspiciously silent, which I don't know if that's I don't follow his account close enough to know if he's doing that shit. But if he is, I saw people who were like because they did get to the pile on aspect where some people were like, yeah, he told me to fuck off once. OK. And you know what? I mean, some of those being like i was you know i was 22 years old and this happened it's like well then you need to see your fucking way out of this conversation because it really is i mean that's you know that's not what we're talking about here as you know an age gap is weird but it needs to be a certain age gap that's a problem and you know until you're until you're in that case it probably shouldn't really matter but um but it was that one

was like people were like it was like i feel like like, people were like, it was like, I feel like he DM'd like, fuck you, you ugly bitch, or whatever. Because it was like, someone said they didn't like a movie of his or a show of his. Right, yeah. You're probably listening to this. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing too, is like, it sounds, he's always commenting on like, and this is why I actually

liked him, I liked his kind of his social media presence and podcast more than his stand-up because he always kind of commented on like what we would comment on and be like this guy's a fucking weirdo you know just like that kind of like why why are people so weird why can't they just be normal and it's like oh yeah i get that and then it's like it's always the ones it's always the ones hiding you know it's always it's like how do you is that another mental thing where it's like you get off on the fact that you're like tricking people or something or like when

when he twice in a row goes to a hollywood studio and he's like i'll play the pedophile is that like he goes home at night being like they don't even know the truth i would i couldn't even it's too much of a coincidence, right? What's up? It's too much of a coincidence, right? It is. Two is too many. One, maybe, like, you needed a paycheck.

Two, like, come on. Yeah. What are we doing here? And I thought you had a great tweet today where you were like, it is, I feel like sometimes people fall back on, like, if you don't have a vice, I don't trust you. But he was so famously, like, I've never drank. I've never done a drug. And that's like, that's because like you're just, you're too uptight to ever relax. You're like, if I relax, maybe I come out.

Right. If I have a couple of drinks and I tweet something wrong or someone gets my phone or whatever the fuck it is. To never have touched anything. drinks and I tweet something wrong or someone gets my phone or whatever the fuck it is to, to, to never have touched anything. You can, you can be a recovering, whatever, you know, that you went through it. People who are, who are sober now and, and, and, and went through like rehab, they just got to the finish line first. We're all going to eventually get there. We're like, Oh my God, this is a problem. But they just did a little earlier than us. Those people fine. It's, it's the people who are like, I have never touched anything. Well, then you're doing something else.

I truly believe that it is like not possible as a human with the brain and the emotions to not have some urge in some direction that's either wrong or suspect, you know, like, or, you know, not wrong. Cause drinking's fine, but you know what I mean? Like it's, it's, it's a selfish vice. It's a desire to feel good, whatever. And if you're not just doing it with, with booze and drugs, you're doing it with something else. I don't think you're doing it.

I don't think you're doing with something else to fill that void. I think you're not doing that because you're scared that it will come out. I think you're, because like when you, when you get to have a couple of drinks, you just talk a little looser, right? Like it's called loosening up,

right? And you're more like, I'll forget to lock the room that I keep like the fucking child porn in or something like just, there's, there's too many ways to slip up. I'm thinking about him on that show in, in, in the show.

You, he has like a basement that he hides everything in and like has a whole system that he hides his roofie medicine and shit oh he's like uh he's a oh oh he's a predator in that one for sure yeah real bad real bad the workaholics thing was more of like comedy you is like he's a a pedophile like child porn type of guy. But, you know, my motto, abuse substances, not children. If you're listening to me, kids, if you're growing up and you're not drinking and doing drugs, you better pick it up now because you're going to end up a problem if you don't. Man's got to have a vice.

Brian Cox said it best. Man who doesn't have a hot habit, he's got skeletons in his closet. You got to drink, you got to smoke. It can even be, your vice could even be women or sex. It's just got to be the legal kind. Yeah. Because if you don't do that stuff, it's going to come out of somewhere else and it's going to be a problem. So we'll see where it goes. I did see some people tweeting being like, you know, your boy, you got to talk about him. He was on the show. You were blowing him during the interview. What are you going to say now?

Yeah, like hand up. Didn't know Chris D'Elia was a potential predator. Sorry. Thought he was just a funny comedian. Wanted to have him on our show. Enjoyed his work until then. Now, I can admit it. You're right.

Whatever you want to say you know predator or creepy yeah sure just didn't know it but it'll be more interesting to see what happens with the guys who really are down with him because he is plugged in to all the biggest podcasts all the biggest

comedy and you know those guys because guess what if this was you i'd be like what the fuck yeah listen when i i mean i i went through different shit but but similar salacious scandal and dave you know no but listen dave came out right away and was like yeah i mean he looks like a fucking asshole right now what do you want me to say and it was like uh you know i didn't love that in the moment but i was like i understand i put these guys in a spot right now that they're gonna have to speak up uh and that is very very very different from what we're talking about here so all those

burt tweeting about like anybody got any good ideas in hawaii just blissfully unaware of what's going on you know that's so beautifully burnt i was gonna say he was probably drunk at the moment, but I think he's been sober all quarantine. I think he's sober like 70 days now, I guess. Wow. Wow. It's not a lifetime thing.

They're all weird. They like to challenge themselves. He can go back and forth. He yo-yos. It's crazy. 70 days out of 72, like there were two in the middle. Like he's like, yeah, that's, I'll give it to him. He had two like blackouts in the middle of quarantine.

That's it. You're sober, especially by Burt's standards. But I was also surprised. Like I looked at the replies to that because I was, I'd become aware of the Delia thing right before Burt tweeted. And I was like, I, first of all, you give comedians too much credit. I just sit there staring at trying to figure out the joke for a while.

Yeah. He's literally just asking about traveling to Hawaii. Noi he's just asking about flights to hawaii yeah and and then i opened the replies to see what people were saying it actually i think it later came a bit of a storm of like delia things but originally it was very largely well being like hey man here's the here's the answer to the question you're looking for. Just polite replies to it. He's got a great following. I was going to say that. Forget about the D'Elia situation.

People just replying with helpful answers of like, here's a great flight. Here's a great price. Like, what app are you on right now? I will say this. I don't think we realize sometimes how, like, we have an antenna for this shit. We have, like, a radar for this shit. Like, at that point, there was probably, like, one or two of the tweets before like she rate dogs really gets onto it and i was texting with a couple other comedians and like i sent them the first the first tweets

and they were like oh i wonder if this will be bad and i was like it's gonna be bad like a flood is coming a an avalanche of of like dms and shit's gonna happen and within like a few minutes the she rate dogs things happen. So I think, you know, sometimes the general like Twitter sphere is not picking up yet where what we're on and, and like before long, once they did, I mean, forget about it. I mean, the one tweet replying to Bert was like, why don't you guys fly to Epstein's Island with Dalia?

And it's just like, all right, just log off. You're not going to do anything productive anymore here. But I wonder what, what they'll say. I mean, Neil Brennan, Neil Brennan jumped in right away with just a tough tweet that he deleted like instantaneously. He said, oh, I had the screenshot deleted. He was just like, hello, I detest child predators, but I will give you $1,000 per accusation for anybody who can prove that Chris D'Elia knew they were underage. Which is, first of all, even if you had ultra confidence in your boy,

issuing it as a bet, like I'll give you a thousand bucks per shit, it just was not good. But I think he also didn't know that the she raves dog shit had happened. Cause I, I quickly saw in the reply to someone sent him that tweet, which is pretty undeniable. And he quickly deleted that one. Yeah. So, you know, you can, it can go wrong both ways. I think the silence is deafening.

I think that people who jump in rushing to their friend and that, dude, that happens every time with this stuff. It's like, you know, I think Lena Dunham was like the most famous one where she, she said, believe all women and like crushed everybody who's ever been accused. And then the day that it came for her friend, it was, well, well, well, let's wait for the facts. Can't be that way. It really can't. I mean, I know it's only a natural urge to be like, fuck, that's my friend. And I don't believe it. Or even if I do believe it, I don't want to make things worse for him. But if you're in the business of commenting on news and

talking about the world of comedy and you would crush other people who behave like that, I mean, you gotta call it this. If it's the right thing, if I was positive, I guess I could never be positive that you didn't do anything, but I'd be like, I know you didn't do anything.

Even in this, and it feels weird using using example we use nate um we like nate was like in trouble because like i just feel like what the like i was good what the fuck i didn't say something i wouldn't be like i wouldn't make a certain comment yeah but that's where you know get your pr on and like put something out there that it doesn't look like you're just ignoring it or avoiding it but you also maybe aren't like you know uh damning someone one way or the other i mean i'm comfortable saying it because like i said we don't have like much ties to him if you are you know rogan and these guys like i don't know if it's different but it probably shouldn't be mean, we're talking about some heavy shit.

So we'll see what happens. It'll be kind of interesting from a, like, comedy point of view, but from just a life point of view. Like, God damn, it just keeps getting worse. Today's show is brought to you by Shady Rays. Summer's here. The sun is shining. Warm weather is here. I'm going to put on my sunglasses.

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it's one of the more patently ridiculous and preposterous videos I've ever seen this cop crying on camera over her McDonald's drive-thru order it's outrageous it's sheer lunacy and if you really want to dive into it McDonald's drive-thru order. It's outrageous.

It's sheer lunacy. And if you really want to dive into it, it's probably like a sign of the problems with, like, law enforcement. But on the surface, it's just so fucking ridiculous and funny. I mean, she's, like, sobbing. She is. It's a big buildup. She tells the whole story. And all it is is that it took a little long for her food to come out.

But this woman was convinced... Well, the coffee came out first, right? The food never came. The angry muffin didn't come. Or whatever. But she was like, you can keep it, because it's probably poisoned. Because that's like the state of affairs for cops in America right now.

I mean, how fucking silly. First of all, was it casual Friday? She's in a right now. I mean, how fucking silly. First of all, was it casual Friday? She's in a polo. Some people were like, this isn't a real cop. And I was like, you know what, I might believe that. That might be like a parking lot cop or something. Because she didn't really seem to have

the whole fit on. But whatever, if she's any sort of legit law enforcement, give me a fuck. That looked like she was coming from the police department charity golf tournament. Who wears that polo? That's like a wicking polo. That was an insane outfit. But the whole thing

was just on the heels of everything. Like the cops who call on Shake Shack because they had diarrhea, which is literally just what Shake Shack does. That's what fucking milkshakes do. When you have like 20 ounces of milk and ice cream, everybody's stomach hurts. But even more so, like I've never had a milkshake from Shake Shack.

I've had diarrhea every time I ate a Shake Shack. Like Shake Shack cleans, Shake Shack is the Roto-Rooter of intestines. That shit goes through. I mean, it's insane. I think it's just part of their food. You just get awful diarrhea when you eat Shake Shack. It's totally worth it. In fact, I save it.

I'll not go to the bathroom for three days and then get Shake Shack i get like really really prepared for that thing um you are gross i'm disgusting i'm an animal yeah um but it was it was so bad where at the end what was she saying oh what she was like just thank me like just thank me now why you signed up for a job yeah you get thanked every two weeks in your fucking biweekly paycheck. What other position do you go around just thanking everyone all the time? And, and let's be honest, there are still a lot of people out there who are like,

you know, blue lives matter. And like, thank you to our heroes and first responders. It's not like, you know, cops have not been given their, their some props over the years,

but I mean, thank you. And like you do something. Yeah. But just like the average, I say, thank you to the cashier when I check, you went like you do something. Yeah. But just like the average, I say thank you to the cashier when I check out, but they just did something. I remember a guy in my family is a firefighter. And after nine 11, one dime, he was out and this dude was just staring at him, not in a malicious way, but just like really gazing at him. And he was like, what, what the fuck, what, what is it, man? And he was like, nothing. I just wanted to like, look at a real true hero. And he was like, get the fuck what what is it man and he was like nothing i just wanted to like look at a real true hero and he was like get the fuck out of here man like fuck off

you know like yeah if i just ran into a burning building or i just stopped the bank robbery sure maybe but just this idea of like constant praise and somebody said to me because you know i tweeted about it and i get all the the like my mentions become a dumpster fire. And someone said like, uh, it's really hard for cops out there right now. Like the atmosphere is tough and, and they've got a bullseye on their back. And are we really going to let the actions of a few paint broad strokes for a large group? And I was like, you're talking about racism, asshole. Like, yeah, agreed.

That's the whole fucking point here. And you're only applying that logic to cops instead of the, for what, a made up story about cops getting poisoned this week. That's what like the news is. You know, it's like, we're not, there's no evidence at all of this actually happening. There's just a couple of guys who drank some milkshakes and pooped. And now all of a sudden we're like, cops are getting poisoned at food establishments. No, they're fucking not. And, and, and I mean, it happened. It happened. This happens regularly. This isn't just like a sign of the times it happens regularly. And every time it becomes a national story, it's fake.

I'm not going to say every time it's accused, it's fake. Every time it goes viral and becomes a national story, it's fake. It was the cop who people talk about poisoning or like my food sort of thing there was the there's someone at starbucks recently who like this is probably within the last year and it was a cop who did the pre-order yeah he picked it all up and it said they were all labeled pig right and then it went viral and starbucks was like that's the font that you put in on the fucking app like you just you put you wrote pig and then and then there was another one where like a cop freaked out because like they ate his ate a bite

of his burger before they gave it to him and then it went viral and then they went to the mcdonald's i believe it was and just watched the video and video. And the guy put the sandwich in the bag and all that stuff. And then the cop just bit it in the car. Took a bite. I mean, yeah. Again, I'm not saying it never happens. It might happen sometimes. But every time it's viral, it's not real.

Right. I mean, it probably happens. You just don't know it. It's usually like you're eating some spit and you just didn't even fucking know it. If there's anything outward, it's probably made up. But even if it's not i mean like even the city pack one that was also a pre-order that was like a contactless pickup right so then we didn't fucking know yeah i mean people it's it's the farbo leader of cola cola fucking thing

that was a joke in a movie unless you're doing the on on the contactless order pickup you're putting it's for a cop right you don't know idea i i really think that like on the surface it was funny to just i i cannot believe how many people are putting things on video these days the amount of people who know that there's a camera on you or you're filming it yourself and you're all getting fired or you're all looking ridiculous online because we're just addicted to like online content uh it cracked me up but also on a level i was like what this girl is clearly like maybe maybe she's right maybe she's stressed out because it is hard to be a cop right now and so she's on the brink of like an emotional breakdown

fine what if she was like uh called to the scene for a like a crazy situation and she was in that state that girl has got guns and weapons and carte blanche to do what the fuck she wants. And she can't handle the drive-thru at McDonald's taking a little bit long. Which, by the way, I went to McDonald's, I went to Wendy's when I drove home from

your house. It took a long-ass time because it's a weird, like it's COVID and you can't just pull it off. There's no inside line. I mean, it's like crazy, like it's COVID and you can't just pull it off. There's no one allowed inside. There's no one inside the line. I mean, it's like crazy to jump to that conclusion. And on an even deeper level, I think that when you become a cop and you get trained and you got an officer like Derek Chauvin training you, I think they beat it into you. You're always at risk. You're always a target.

There's always a bullseye on your back. Be ready. Be ready to to fight be ready to respond and you know for every one time that that probably does happen there's probably a lot of times where the situation escalates because you know you can't go to mcdonald's without thinking you're being poisoned yeah that's a pretty like crazy level of paranoia to to relate to your job and the climate it's like you're gonna go around acting and and doing certain things based on this idea that is just totally fucking made up there was the i watched the video recently it was uh it was like a baltimore cop who had retired he's like a

young kid he's probably 26 or whatever and this is like i mean i was having fun laughing about a cop crying over egg and griddle this is a little different But it was like, it's basically like an interview with him explaining like how he quit because he was like, I just, I'm not helping my community. This is bullshit. He's like, he was like, you know, I'm out getting statistics and numbers rather than, you know, all the catchphrases you've heard.

But he was explaining like how it became that way. And he's like, in training, like you're just showing videos of cops not reacting and dying. Right. So it's like a cop who like wouldn't pull the trigger and he gets shot or a cop who wouldn't pull the trigger and he gets shot or a cop who wouldn't pull a gun and he gets shot. I get it.

What, what would I do? I have no fucking idea. That's why I'm a blogger. I am not interested in that career at all. If you are interested in that career, I think you have to be elite. I think you have to be nerves of steel.

I think you have to be cerebral. I think you have to be physically in shape, all that shit, because you know, it's true. If you don't react in certain instances, you might be dead. But if you do react in the wrong one, now you're a murderer. So I don't know. I wouldn't become a cop. That's what I'm telling you. I don't know why anybody does it. It's crazy. So, uh, yeah, I mean, I totally understand where it's coming from. I think that's when we talk about this whole saga, I think that's the concrete action, like actionable, you know, strategy is like, let's fix that. Let's when you go to the academy, let's not just show people a constant highlight reel of death. Let's, you know, let's figure out a better way to train them to be safe. But also, yeah, I mean, yeah, that's like, it's like a torture

tactic. Of course you just, of course these guys are like murderous rampage assholes. They've been fucking Michael, Jason Bourne treated that way, you know? It's like, come on. So, shout out to that woman. That was the scariest scene I ever watched in my childhood, Blanca getting made. I was like, this is terrifying.

Turned him into a goddamn literal monster. All right, let's do our Am I the Asshole's voicemails. I got to take. Oh, I love when Johnny stops me and tells me he's got to take. It's brought to you by Movement Watches. The movement has been raging now for several years, and we have always been a part of it, since day one you cannot tell the story of uh

barstool podcasts and uh and you know the new age barstool without talking about movement because they've been uh they've had our backs now for years on end and right now they're gonna have your back with the ever scroll glasses while everyone's at home staring at the screen and uh watching their phones and their televisions with their eyeballs just like bleeding out of their head. MVMT came up with the movement, came up with the Everscroll blue light filtering glasses, which helps filter out the damaging effects. And you're not going to get headaches. You're not going to have eye strain.

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It's just like, you can't. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. Yeah. Yeah. You've reached your breaking point. I could do this for another five years johnny's done uh get the ever scroll glasses though they're made for oh no i did the thing again right so i'll just spit down the interview hasn't aired yet it's with howie mandel but i've been swallowing my spit down the wrong pipe just not like a lot of spit just like you get salami to swallow it goes into my fucking lungs and then I start coughing. Howie said that's never happened to him. You know what I'm talking about, right? I don't think so, man. You've never just had

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That's MVMT.com slash KFC. Join the movement. What do you got for me? Oh, boy. You just cracked his knuckles and everything. I don't think people like sports. I don't. I know I don't. I know I don't.

I know I don't. Tell me why. So it's just like it's all people talk about on Twitter is I need sports back, I need sports back, I need sports back. Now obviously the main sports are not back. So this is a tepid take at best. But everyone is always

so excited every time a sport comes back and then no one watches it. You just, I think people just like bitching about sports rather than enjoying the sport. You mean like Korean baseball and horse racing and NASCAR, like all the shit that's come back. Korean baseball, NASCAR, uh, the Bundesliga, uh,

uh, Charles Schwab Invitational. All of those sports are doing no better numbers than they always do. Oh, that'sab Invitational, all of those sports are doing no better numbers than they always do. Oh, that's true. I think the Charles Schwab did really well, actually. It didn't. It did it too. Before, and I don't know what Charles Schwab usually does. It's probably a little better.

But before, that's what made me bring this up, is before the Charles Schwab, one of the PGA execs said, we're six, we're going to break records. If Tiger was here, we'd do a 10.

Maybe that's what I saw. Maybe I thought that's what happened. And I saw them saying that, but yeah, he's like, we're going to burn the world. I think they did a 2.1. He's like,

if Tiger's here, we're going to do a 10. I think, I think guys just like drama. And then, and then like, we like the drama around, like there's no sports there's no sports and then what's like okay fine here's sports like well i don't know if i want that yo i mean i i have definitely reached a point and i always put this caveat of like i hate my teams my teams bring me misery, not joy, all that shit. But like, I could, I could, uh, I could

live with like highlights and looking at the standings now, you know, like I don't need to sit there and watch the games. If I know that the Yankees are losing and they're 10 games out, I'm happy. Like that's, that's what I'm there for. I'm there for the big picture. And I don't know if I need to sit there and watch like every pitch of every game and and to still get the effect of what I get out of being a sports fan now I like my teams because I have a connection to them I have a history with them and remind me of you know like relationships with family members and friends and memories and shit like that I like my and I've said this for years this isn't a new thing I like my teams I watch my teams and then after that it's like i don't know

it's it's it's whatever but we're down at the bar or whatever you know we're just like i need sports back sports are back you can watch sports you're just opting not to you don't like sports that much you just want to yell about sports right you need something to fill the void not of what you're consuming it's just to fill the void of what the fuck you talk about you know what i mean when you're so used to arguing about sports and stats and players and that's gone you just kind of transfer it to like well let's argue about why sports are gone and why they should come back and then when you have i mean yeah you love baseball go watch it there's baseball i get it's at a really bad time but if you can watch highlights you can watch the

game again it's it's you but you don't have an investment in that team so you don't miss sports you miss your team which is fine but it's just like everyone keeps being like we need sports back that i don't think that's the case i think when baseball comes back i do not think it'll have much better numbers in it no i i've been saying this all week if you're a diehard fan you can say all you want you're not gonna watch this but you're. If you're a diehard fan, you can say all you want. You're not going to watch this, but you're going to because you're a diehard fan. And if you're a casual fan, you probably don't even care about the labor feud because you're a casual fan. And when it comes back, you'll watch it here and there casually and everything will stay the same. I enjoy the drama of the labor feud, but I'm not like, I don't think this year, and maybe I'm dumb. Well, I'm definitely dumb, but maybe I'm dumb here. I don't think this is

make or break for baseball. You are going to ruin baseball by not having it this year. I don't think so. I think the people who watch baseball are going to keep watching baseball and eventually they're going to die because they're pretty old and then maybe you're in trouble but i don't think this year is like make or break for baseball i think they'll play i'm i'm i think in the minority i think they'll play no i i think i've been saying there won't be baseball everything i hear is that eventually

there'll be this 48 game season there won't be a a real season but there'll be something i hear but i think what what is true is that they miss an opportunity. I think if they were the first ones back and they did it in a PR way of like, we're here to save the world, I think they would have had a chance to get some more fans that are like, I'm a football fan. I don't ever watch baseball, but hey, it's the only thing to watch right now. So I'll turn it on. I think it would be minuscule numbers.

Yeah, I think it would be, be you know a bump in ratings by you know a point oh something uh but it would you know you need all the help you can get it's like you ever seen that meme where it's like like the nice guys meme where it's like uh what is it like when she says she just wants a guy who's cute and funny and therefore, but that's you or whatever. And it's like a guy crying. It's like when he says like, he just wants sports back and you're here. And it's like, that's what baseball would be like.

It was like, whoa, I'm in football. Okay. I'm in football. I want football. And that's like, which is crazy in and of itself.

Cause football is not even, it's not even a time when football is supposed to be. You would be missing. You would be missing football anyway. It's just not football season, you assholes. Yeah, I couldn't agree more. I think that there probably are – I look at some of the true gambling. Even the gambling thing, it's like you can – if gambling is what you miss, you can gamble on Korean baseball.

You can still get that rush of a bad beat or a backdoor cover or whatever. And I think people did it and tried it and realized that's not it. They don't care. Yeah. You don't like sports. It's like – you know when people say that like sports is guys' versions of Kardashians and Real Housewives and shit? I kind of believe that. And it's like, the point is not that you miss like, uh,

it's not that it's guys version of just like gossipy celebrity stuff. It's the Kardashians and the real housewives, like the, the main heavy hitters, because you could go watch, you know, some other version of it. It's people you're not invested in. You don't fucking care the same way that the the girls are going to watch the highly rated ones and you want to watch the big four. So it's not sports. It's just you miss your storylines.

The same thing with even The Last Dance. People tried to say sports are back. We have The Last Dance. The Last Dance did fine. It didn't do as good as a regular season basketball game. This is taking the place of sports. What I've realized it didn't do like as good as a regular season basketball game right right it wasn't like this is taking the place of sports you know what i've realized and i and i've flipped i've changed on

this because i thought that the world had changed and then when things started to open up and get back to normal i realized it absolutely hasn't the world is going to go right back to what it was yeah because you know what the truth is it's been a couple months not that long you know if we did this for like years like i've never talked i was talking to my mom about uh her her great aunt my grandma's sister and she lived to be like 175 so she was in our lives like a really long time and she was she would always tell stories like during the during world war ii it was like four straight years of like we don't know who's gonna die we don't know who's going to die. We don't know who's going to go off to war. All the women, we don't get to go to school anymore.

We got to go work. Just like life radically changed for years. And it was just like, this is what we do now. It's been the spring, basically. And everyone, you know, like if that's not enough to like, you know, radically change all of your habits and preferences, as soon as, if it happens relatively soon, the same amount of people is going to watch, the same amount of people who don't watch is not going to watch.

It's just not enough to really change everything. Speaking of the sports, though, for changing things, I hope the NBA only plays in Orlando forever. That is awesome. Did you see all this stuff came out last night? No, and what? About how, like, things are going to be set up in Orlando? I just saw that it was like these teams stay at the Grand Floridian.

These guys stay at the Grand whatever. But I didn't see much more than that. Oh, God. There's so much awesome stuff. Yeah? There's a snitch hotline. Oh, that's cool. Anonymous snitching.

And, you know, I mean, out of all the leagues, you're telling me that, like, LeBron wouldn't pick up the phone and be like, Kawhi, we didn't wash his hands. They have – there's – oh, man. There's – it's a mess. It's never going to happen, I don't think. Because it's like – Especially with Kyrie in the mix.

The players have to – what is it? Like, you can't be touching your mouth guard on the bench. They're thinking about having every player have an individual caddy on the bench. So that's like you're putting 40 people on the bench. More people. Yeah. Right.

And then there's, oh, there's so much. They can't play doubles ping pong. Cause that's in the entertainment center. There's a ping pong table. Pretty sick. You can play basketball, but you can't play doubles ping pong. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

It's crazy. There's so much just like weird stuff happening where there's, what is it? There's going to be entertainment. They think about bringing in like comedians and bands and stuff like that. But imagine it's just like the Lakers in the crowd at like a pit bull concert. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Watching whatever Disney has to offer. And then also they have like movies like they can go see captain marvel

you oh like a like a black widow movie's not even out oh you get an advanced shit dude i would do that just for that i'd be like yeah let's get the league on the on the floor so i can just fucking watch advanced movies that's awesome yeah they of it looks just poised for disaster yeah and it seems like well the nba had like great pr in the sense like it seemed like they were their negotiation went well and they were ready to rock and they were going to hit the ground running i'm sure it was it's been way more of a shit show and will be way more of a shit show than they let on. And now they said that

if they don't show up, that's fine. The players, they're not obligated to come. I love it. I would think entire teams don't come because the bubble's too big. They're only like, what, six games left in the season? They invited 24 teams or whatever it is.

Well, no, at this point, no, they have no shot. Well, everybody who's, who's been invited is mathematically possible,

but, but they're not. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's like, you know, I think,

uh, I think ESPN gave the Kings a 0% chance to make it. Cause they're probably like nine games out with 10 games to play or something like that. So like what the, those guys are going to be like, yeah, whatever. And then even then, like, wait, wait, you don't have a shot to win the title. Right. Why go risk it all for the title? Well, I think that about baseball too.

It's like, you know, if I feel a little, little tickle in my elbow, I'm not fucking going out there again for a 48 game season that nobody's going to take seriously. If Mookie Betts plays he's a dummy moron to risk anything that you you know you got 400 million waiting for you only if you make it there though for a 48 game season get out of here and and people everyone I talk to in the know or in these leagues say like no that won't be a problem they want to compete get the fuck out of here it's only human nature when your job is like radically different and and compromised to just be like yeah i mean i don't know i'm here but like not really like right and i'm just going through the

motions here unless it's like lebron is like this is one of my last well probably maybe who knows one of my last like seasons like i i gotta try to one here. The rest of it's probably like, eh, like fucking whatever, dude. So, but of all leagues too, that one is going to be drama filled to the max. And Kyrie is such a cocksucker, man. He is such a cocksucker. And I know there was kind of like a white black thing that was like white reporters were saying how selfish he is. Where black reporters were like, he's talking about like how we should focus more on the racial injustice than sports. Blah, blah, blah. Maybe true, maybe not.

Kyrie started drama as soon as he found out, like, he's not going to be in the mix. As soon as it was like, yeah, you're injured, you've got to stay home, he was like, well, fucking wait a minute. But I also think that was incredibly selfish of Kyrie. As selfless as it seems it's selfish no I'm saying selfish I'm saying selfish I know I'm saying I'm saying self too I think for a different reason like I think I say it's self it seems selfless in the sense that like I'd give up

everything for this oh yeah and Kyrie probably would and but like there are just younger NBA players who can't who or who it's like like Kyrie Kyrie multiple $20 million deals doesn't he yeah so like it's easy for you to go I'm done I'll stop playing but when there's a guy who like has a family he's trying to support and he doesn't have a big deal yet he doesn't have generational wealth be like I know I want to play man I want to play in this game. Kyrie has a ring. He's got his money. He's got his endorsements. Like, you're not – you shouldn't be speaking for any of those other guys now.

So – and I just – I'm at the point where Kyrie Irving will never get the benefit of the doubt from me ever again. Like, my first instinct will always be, like, you're kind of an asshole. And you always – like, the drama follows you for a reason. It's funny. It's like his thing the other night when he was, I don't know if you saw last night, what he, he had said in the group, in the Nets group chat,

like, let's start our own league. Yeah, I mean, okay. And then, but then he didn't, then it got,

went public. He, it was denied that he ever said that and he left the group chat. Like, if you want drama, you want Kardashians, Kyrie's your boy.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, he'd give you headlines. He'll give you clicks. If you were like a Nets beat reporter, I'd sit there with a mic in Kyrie's face boy. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, he'll give you headlines. He'll give you clicks. If you were like a Nets beat reporter, I'd sit there with a mic in Kyrie's face like permanently.

So speaking of assholes like Kyrie, let's get into Am I the Asshole? It's brought to you by Caviar. Right now, everybody getting everything delivered right to their front step. Caviar is the high society version of that, though.

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I mean, we are coming in blazing hot with this one. 33 male, my 32-year-old wife is set on adopting an African-American child and has stopped being intimate with me until I agree. My wife and I have been married for five years. We have two kids of our own, four-year-old and a two-year-old. We have a good marriage for the most part. My wife is generally more passionate one than I am. I'm a toned down engineer, but this is now ruining our relationship. In the past, my wife has talked about adopting a kid from Africa. So she wants to go Angelina Jolie on them. But that's something we talked about doing when our children had been fully grown, like maybe in our fifties.

Now with the whole climate, she's been dead set on doing this. Although instead of being an African kid, we're now doing an African American kid because she's passionate about the cause. She brought it up. She said that we have the funds and that we should have one black child, as we already have two white children. And in her eyes, that was selfish selfish she believes that since we're in a position of privilege we should do what we can to help these kids and that the only way we can ensure our children aren't going to be racist is by having a black sibling there are other ways yeah there's a lot of other ways you don't need to go full-blown fucking extreme nuclear and make

it happen she he says i'm okay with activism. I've done my part, but this is too much for me. I want my kids to be biologically mine. We have the ability to do so. He said, if we couldn't have kids, it would be a different story, but we can and we do. And I don't believe that adoption should be used as a political or social cause, and that it should only be done if you're 100% set on doing it. She told me she won't sleep with me anymore until I adopt an African-American baby, and she will not share her body with a racist. She has cut off all contact with anybody in her life who hasn't been outwardly trying to fight the racism, and that this guy is basically complicit by not adopting a black kid.

It goes on and on, but that's, you definitely get the gist of it. I mean, this is crazy. It's going to happen though. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. You're right. Like just cut to the chase and go get yourself a black baby, dude. Cause this is. Words like this always made me laugh. Maybe remember is an early, early days blog blogging and it was something along the lines i want it was in south america i believe

central america uh i want to say it was nicaragua i don't remember exactly and um the uh women in this town all banded together and said we are not sleeping with our husbands yes we have a road into town i remember this the road all got out there and built that road yeah okay you're gonna adopt this african baby african-american baby whatever it is she said she wanted you're gonna do it are you saying because of the sex or because of just like, I don't want this headache. Yeah, sex strikes work. So what you're telling me is that there's a man in a relationship who will end up having a kid against his will, even though he swears he's not going to do it because his wife can make it happen with the power of the pussy or nagging.

Is that what you're telling me? I'm saying sex strikes work. So just, you know, hypothetically. Don't get me wrong. This guy shouldn't do telling me? I'm saying sex strikes work. So, just, you know, hypothetically... Don't get me wrong, this guy shouldn't do it, but he's going to. Right. And I'm just saying, you know, if you were a guy who says... If you're trying to talk about a superhero, that's different.

Okay? You're like, yeah, like, oh, so you're telling me if someone gets shot with a bullet, they die. Yeah, usually. Unless you're fucking Superman, bro. And you're a superhero, huh? Okay. Okay! I actually have, I thought about that in the future. I actually, basically, like, the first half

of their thing, where it's like, maybe when I'm 50, like, I'll adopt a child. And the, um, and I thought, I was like, I would probably want one from, it's so weird to talk about. I know, I want to buy me a black baby. Um, but from just from a a foreign job it doesn't matter what color but then i was you know what that would be so funny by the way

just let me interrupt like like a sitcom script like just one one piece of it is like yeah that's john like he adopted a foreign baby and you find out he's like australian or something he has nothing he comes from a first world country and he runs around telling people i mean like third world but not yeah you know whatever but then like there's so much weird psychology in all of that where it's like why do you want a third world child and it's like why don't you want a third world yeah well like this guy when he said when she was like i think we should do it because it's like a good cause you're right but when he was like i, I think we should do it because it's like a good cause, you're right. But when he was like, I don't think we should be like building our family based on like making political statements, like I kind of – I see that too.

I agree. What she's doing is crazy. We're like – even if they had the plan in place and they turned 50 and it was like, hey, remember that idea we had? What do you think? But like I mean this is a flavor of the week in the highest sense. Sure, for sure. idea we had what do you think but like i mean this is a flavor of the week in the highest sure because and i don't mean the the movement itself but her actions on getting a black kid right now because the protests are going on is like radically crazy yeah um but the it is like so weird too because then you're like well are people gonna accuse me of getting a black child

just so i could say there's there's so much weird psychology that would go into it that like i i entertain the idea of maybe in the future in 40 years it's something i do and i was already having like a panic attack like what the yeah what's gonna happen now i mean when you have again when you have your own kids and you don't have to adopt but you just go go adopt and it's and it's for this reason. I mean, that looks like, uh, what's the phrase that like, that's like, that's virtue signaling on a whole fucking level of like changing your family and like caring for a living thing. Also, you can be like, fight the power.

You know, that's great. Who did? Polly. What do you mean It's what Polly talked about. Who did? Polly. What do you mean? Oh, Polly. Yeah. She, I think my dad is like, we're not having another kid. I mean, you guys have a thousand already.

Yeah. But I think my mom, they had in her family when she grew up, they had a lot of – they weren't adopted kids, but it was like foreign exchange students. So foreign exchange students would come live in their house, like from China, from Asia mostly, I believe. Crazy. That's crazy. She's like, I really liked it. Me and my siblings all really liked it. And I was like, we don't have kids anymore.

Like, there's no one here to, to like enjoy like melding of cultures and stuff like that. You're going to just be sitting there in the, in like the living room with like a seven year old black kid being like, so what you want to watch jeopardy? Like, no, you're old. We're retired. Yeah. I mean, I think you would be, this is crazy and you might be right that it would be like, all right,

you're not fucking me. And me and uh you're nagging me and we already have two kids so like i can't leave you he's he should get like a divorce that's what i mean i was gonna say it but if you wanted to if you wanted to just pull the trigger and be like i'm gone and i'll tell like our nine-year-old and our eight-year-old well listen mommy's a fucking racial protesting lunatic right now i think you'd be like well within your rights. And by the way, probably should. I don't think anybody, as much as I joke about it and say that it will happen to all men, because it does, it's fucked up that it does.

I don't think anybody should be pressured into taking care of a human. You have to be on fucking board with this shit. You can't pressure me into going out. Yeah, you can pressure me into going out. Right. You can't pressure me into going out. But it's not even really – if you do end up going out, it's because you want to have a drink. You can't really pressure you into doing anything you truly don't want to do. Right.

That's true. That's right. It's funny. We are all at once like the biggest followers and lemmings, but also at the same time like you ain't gonna convince me to do shit if i don't want to do it we're a paradox uh next up you want to read this one my boyfriend 24 year uh my 24 year old female boyfriend 23 year old male threw up hot sauce on our bed after chugging a bottle and now he is too ashamed to make love again. Okay. I have been with my boyfriend for two years.

A few weeks ago, we talked about spicing things up in the bedroom. My boyfriend likes to do weird jokes sometimes, which I usually love. This time, though, what he did was walk into the bedroom naked with the bottle of secret aardvark cod sauce without the lid. He says, I'm ready to spice things up and winked at me. I was like, what are you doing? And he said something like, it's about ready to spice things up and winked at me i was like what

are you doing and he said something like it's about to get hot in here and winked again then he started chugging the hot sauce i was astonished by this is it normal for a boyfriend to chug hot sauce before he can love his girlfriend i started yelling what are you doing i could tell right away he knew he made a mistake but he kept chugging for a few seconds before coughing, dropping the bottle and stumbling into the bed. It made a gurgling sound, but then a noise like a demented hyena. Tears were streaming down his face, which was bright red. He vomited all of the hot sass all over the bed.

I was stunned. I tried to comfort him, even though I was so confused why he'd done this, but he just tumbled off bed and crawled into the bathroom. He yelled, don't come in here, several times. I heard the shower turn on and him throw up several more times. I googled and found milk can help, so I opened the door a crack and slid a milk carton in there. He slept in the bathroom. And when I knocked in the morning, he told me he needed time. He didn't come out of the bathroom until 1 p.m. and acted like nothing happened.

When I wanted to talk about it, he just said, let's just forget it. So I tried to. But ever since then, he has refused to make love and has made no sexual moves towards me at all. It has been weeks. When I bring it up and ask why he never wants to become sexual, he says he forgot about doing sex

and we can get to it later. I ask him if it's about the hot sauce, and he clams up and mumbles about something that never happened and walks away. I tried to tell him I don't care about that incident, and he won't talk about it at all. What can I do to get my boyfriend to stop feeling shame about throwing up his hot sauce and allow him to become sexual again?

Yo, this is my favorite couple ever. I love two i mean right off the bat by the way first of all great joke we're gonna spice things up we're gonna get hot in the bedroom and you chug hot sauce incredible party trick second of all that one little line in there lets me know this is true love when she said it's usually something i really enjoy like these guys are on the same fucking page he just took it too far. I don't think he took it too far. I think she found the whole thing funny. Yeah.

He's just embarrassed by it. I love the, I forgot to do sex. This guy is awesome. I would hang out with this guy. He seems fucking great. I could just see him in the bathroom. Like,

look away. Don't come in here. You just gotta, you just gotta bang your girlfriend. You know what you need? You know what you need? She's gotta chug a bottle of hot sauce and throw up. Now you can't be ashamed. We're all in the same boat here. It's like when Jim

cut his tie. You gotta throw up the hot sauce too. This is my least favorite scene in the office. The stupidest scene in the whole damn show. It's romantic. No, it's not. He's in the office. The stupidest scene in the whole damn show. It's romantic. No, it's not. He's in the same boat. It doesn't make any sense. He's not in the same boat. She had a little tear in her veil. No one

would even notice. He ruined every single picture in the whole wedding. It makes no sense, Kevin. It's crazy. Why would he do that? It's Billy Madison peeing in his pants for Billy. It's solidarity. Everyone could see the pee in the kid's pants. She got a little tear from a car door on her veil. No one even sees the veil.

The veil's on for 10 seconds. Most people don't even have veils these days. You don't even need to have a veil at all. Veil on the veil. Veil on the veil. That scene was so stupid. When it happened, my first reaction was, oh, she's going to hit him. I thought she was going to slap him in the face

because he ruined every picture. You know those fake pictures they were taking? Those don't actually last. That's not what anyone cares about. They want physical pictures that are going to go in a wedding book, and they're all ruined because of Jim's stupid tie thinking he's being sweet. Go off, King. If you do that, you're an idiot.

So what do you think this couple's got of them? I don't even know the psychology i said psychology a few times i also i just find it like all right let's say i had you had something horribly embarrassing happen in bed you fucking peed the bed farted shit you know whatever your girlfriend comes up to you like the next day and she's like you know she's doing the put your hair up she you know it's about to go down you don't just like let that happen you're so embarrassed you're like no i can't possibly have my dick sucked right now i guess i just don't understand who's weirder me or

him that like that wouldn't embarrass me at all well we've always kind of said that like funny during bed is kind of like the best and it sounds like if you're the type of couple who enjoys a good old good old party trick like chugging a hot sauce that you should kind of be able to laugh this all off it seems like out of character for anyone who would do this to then be this like embarrassed by it you know right right right right right it's like if you're that kind of guy you're usually just like yeah that was fucking crazy huh let's go bang and i don't know maybe maybe there's something more to it maybe would it be so funny if like you found out what happens is he really turned into the sack yeah remember yeah his masculinity's been threatened now because he threw up right you

know what like he seems like an awesome guy until you put together that like he was seen a little vulnerable and now shut down. Yeah. Like, what are you talking about, man? You just puke. Who cares?

Right. Yeah. If anything, you should just be like, I'm a man. And now I'm going to have sex with my woman. Wouldn't it be funny though, if he was like,

if you found out the full story and he was like, no, no. Like you've been cheating on me for six months. And I found out it has nothing to do with fucking hot sauce. You idiot. Either way. I'm not trying nothing to do with fucking hot sauce, you idiot. Either way. I'm not trying to kill myself with that hot sauce.

You ever see Romeo and Juliet? It was a good bit. Either way, I hope they figure it out or because this couple just sounds awesome. This guy's got to find love one way or another. If he can't be with her and he's got to find someone else, fine. But any guy who runs into the bedroom saying, we got to spice things up, it's about to get hot, and then chugs some Franks. He's a good cat in my book. He deserves only the best. Let's do our voicemails and then we'll get into our interviews. We'll call it a day.

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older to use, which sucks if you're under 21, But also for everyone over 21, you kind of know that it's the real deal holy field when they put that on it. So 21 and up, 3cheat.com, promo code KFC for 5% off. What up, boys? All right, so the other day I'm watching Hulu with a girl, and we throw in a little bit of cash cab. I know you guys had Ben Bailey on your podcast before. Shout out to him. But I noticed that that game is extremely winnable.

Like, those questions are kind of easy. And it made me think that, like, that's probably the most winnable game show of all time. Like, you know, take a quick taxi cab in New York, walk away with, like, a double hundred bucks. It's got to be the most, you know the easiest, obtainable winnable game show. Other ones out there, I think maybe like maybe Deal or No Deal.

You can walk away with some cash from that, but like, what do you think is the most winnable game show to you if you're going to go on? Maybe do a top five, I don't know. Cash Cap is the most winnable game, but you also average walk away with like 800 bucks, so it fits. You know what I mean? Right. Yeah, I was going to get you could get one round and making it once a millionaire and just

be like all right i'm out yeah that's the same thing as cash cabs so i think that's proportionate i think the easiest games to well it's not easy it's just as easy to win as it is to lose when it's a game that's basically all luck you know what i mean like deal or no deal is there is what's that i'm a luck guy i don't like playing games someone can beat me up that's why i play like roulette exclusively and i barely play right you're the worst odds in the house i disagree no one can beat me at it i love it i love it like i might lose all my money but it's not because i'm like losing it to you it's not because you you have a poker table and just get beat. I can't sit down on a roulette table and get beat. I can lose. I can't get beat. Yeah. That's a big distinction. I can lose.

I can't get beat. You know, you go on like, uh, let's make a deal. And they're just like, do you want door number one or door number two? And you pick door number one and you either get like a car or a toaster. And it's like just as easy but it's also you know uh not as stressful let's say uh the craziest to me is jeopardy like jeopardy you should be winning like a million dollars an episode for what those guys go through i mean i would be gassed after a an episode of jeopardy i'd be sweating my brain would be mush and you you know unless you're one

of the freaks you walk away with like seventeen thousand dollars and that's even high i would take your word for it but i thought it was always like 10 10 yeah right unless you're talking about the cream of the crop who know what they're doing with daily doubles and shit you know and you lose every now and then you're walking with like several grand whereas in wheel of fortune it's crazy in wheel of fortune that you don't have to win the whole thing to walk away with money. You solve one puzzle where you get like, you hit the $5,000 slot, you get like 50 grand and you don't even have to be like the big winner of

the day. Oh really? Yeah. Like you, the big winner that goes on to the, the bonus round where you can win like cars and millions of dollars and shit like that. But in the,

in the round with the dollars a wheel of fortune? At the very end, if you... So you have to... In the middle of the show, you have to land on the million-dollar slot, which is not even a full sliver. It's not even a full slice. It's just a little sliver.

You have to get the right... Get a letter. You get to pick that one up. Then you have to solve that puzzle so you get to keep it. Then you have to win the first round. Then when you go to pick that one up then you have to solve that puzzle so you get to keep it then you have to win the first round then when you go to the bonus round you spin a little wheel that has to land on a million and then you have to get that puzzle right and that's the thing that's like 10 seconds and it's like a very hard word or phrase so it's very very hard but you can win a million dollars

oh and just one episode you have to keep going back or anything. Just one. It's so improbable with what you have to land on and win, but it's just that one episode, which is my point. And like, you know, real fortune. It's like, if you can read and guess letters,

there's, there's an art to it, but for the most part, it's like pretty fucking stupid. And those are the guys who walk away with the biggest money. Game shows. They need to be overhauled. Just, just, how about when you go on Price is Right,

and then the game is just this or that, and you're like, it's a chair for 500 or, like, a sofa for 600, this or that? They just, like, flip a switch, and they're like, you win. Like, that, I didn't play anything. I wanted to do the fucking man running up the mountain, or I wanted to putt, or I wanted to play Plinko. All I did was say that fuck you bob let's go it's weird i don't understand why i don't have like i just never really got in the

game i don't know what i did i don't know what i did my whole life i didn't really watch cartoons i didn't watch game shows like i don't i don't know what i think i just i think i just was born is like i i think I just was born. I think I just started in high school. Wouldn't it be funny if we found out you were just like an experiment? There aren't many kids to me as a kid. There are a couple. Wouldn't it be funny if you were a science experiment and they were like,

all right, this kid is just going to start at like age 18 or something, when he something when he goes to college and they were like well we've got to give him like memories and stuff and someone was just like all right new orleans threesome in like i beat up i beat up my babysitter put it in there just load his brain with crazy shit and that's why it always comes out like it trickles out we were like oh i did remember that because it's not real it's all synthetic it's all synthetic someone said's all in synthetic white. Someone said yesterday that picture of me looking like a Russian special soldier. Yeah. I was like, I had to think, like, was I a Soviet spy in the 80s?

And someone goes, yeah, like they would let you remember that. Those memories were wiped long ago. I think I might be immortal and things get wiped and then put in new ones. Yeah. You got, like, zapped and they just plugged in some other shit. I mean, I look exactly like that guy. Spot on. You got more doppelgangers than anybody, but that one is fucking money. Next up, Nick.

What's up, boys? So I was listening to your last episode, which, by the way, great to have you back in the studio. And I was listening to fights about the GPS and how it sucks, this and that, so it made me think of a Would You Rather. So back in the day, before GPS, we had to use MapQuest, which was fucking god-awful. You'd have to print 30 pages to go six miles, and it really blows. But it's great to have GPS now, as shitty as it may be. I'm thinking, would you guys rather go a full year without the use of GPS and you had to use MapQuest wherever you go,

or would you rather spend a full year having to use shitty dial-up internet and no Wi-Fi, no nothing? Come on. I mean, let's make that a little better. MapQuest directions versus maybe no. How about what? Cable TV. I think that's too easy in the other direction.

Like cable TV is going to affect like every day of your life, you know? Yeah, true, true. What about MapQuest directions? You can't order like delivery, like app delivery food. You have to like, if you want to get like, if you want to get delivery, it's like call the pizza place and they have to have like a guy there. You can't just do like the door dashes of the world. I was going to say I drive less. So I would go with MapQuest.

But I think that makes it more difficult because I walk more. And you can't, MapQuest, but I think that makes it more difficult, because I walk more. And you can't MapQuest walks. Imagine walking around with, like, printer paper and just being like, well, right, okay. I mean, I guess you could figure out, like, a left on third, right on 22nd, left on, fuck, whatever. But the GPS talking to me

when I'm walking is... Actually, you know what? I never even really... I guess I kind of just MapQuest it, if we're being honest, because I never even really, I guess I kind of just map quest it. We're being honest. Cause I don't really look at the, I don't start it. I just kind of put the edits in and write, but usually that's because you're like, I'm on the block and I just got to know which way to, you know, I'm going this way or that way. I'm close enough.

It's crazy to me that like, I've for the most part forgotten what it's like life in general. Like I'm so spoiled by all this shit i always say how we're the generation that bridges the gap where we know what it was like without these things but i really can't remember being like in a car and driving and being like page two where am i at am i on 95 like i don't remember doing that but i guess i did at some point no i i didn't that one i didn't i remember my dad doing it but i couldn't drive by the time i could drive you had it there wasn't gps in the car but we had a tomtom oh right right right it was like the the you bought him out like the sharper image sort of thing yeah it wasn't like the windshield yeah you're right you're right i never actually had one of those but yeah you're

right there's plenty of people who never even i definitely remember printing out mac west and i'm sitting there like and now it's like you're fucking putting music on you're texting tweeting whatever back then it used to just be like drive until like where's the turn you know what i mean like where's the red light that i have to turn at it's crazy how much we've just been able to uh like multitask with everything now whereas it used to be like you had to look at it even think about before map quest when you just had a map how crazy was that where you unfold this gigantic thing that's like twice the size of a fucking newspaper and then you get like a magnifying glass to find out like which street you're on that's nuts you pull over on the side there you stop at a gas station to pull it on

side road ask for directions ask for directions and then even that when they would be like you know you're gonna go down like three exits get off the left go two lights make a right you're gonna see a barn go this way the fork in the road i'd be like i forgot everything right away all it's gone my my dad still does that to me like he'll give me directions but all right so you're gonna go on the harrison app take it right there and then once you hit cobalt take a left and i'm like dude i'm just gonna put it in the gps yeah i i get you're trying to be a dad right now but i'm not i don't know anything in my neighborhood i know the name of my street i do not know the name of either street in any in any direction both those things i just said i made up because i don't know that i don't know

the streets here i was actually impressed harrison and cobalt are two pretty good street names but yeah those are totally made up cobalt yeah wow you're a creative cat man yeah i mean the amount of shit that i i don't know i can't do directions anymore there's probably gonna be a whole generation that doesn't even know how to cook at all. I definitely don't remember. Commutes used to suck. I used to hate my commute because you would just be sitting on the train staring for an hour. And now it's like, I don't care if I'm on my couch or I'm on the train.

I'm going to be doing the same thing on my phone. So there's going to be a whole world that doesn't know that commuting sucks. There's going to be a whole world that doesn't know that you used to have to go to the bathroom and just sit there for a while while you shit. We read shampoo. Yeah. Okay, I'll read the back of my Purell. Kills 99% of most common germs. This is great. This is interesting stuff.

Oh, I used to love reading the actual ingredients too. It was like, oh, cool. Tospiril acetate. Yeah. Cosmopolimer. Okay, sure. Shit sucks. That's how bored we were.

No one's going to ever know that. Let's do one more voicemail, and then we'll get into our interviews. Let's do it, Nick. What's up, KFC? Fight Super VC. So with this whole coronavirus thing, I was thinking, a lot of kids didn't finish school so like what grade do you think missed out the most like a bunch of kindergartners and first graders like one day are we gonna have a bunch of people that like can't tell time

we're like don't know the days of the week um let me know what you guys think by the way i got to give a shout out uh kind of unrelated, but sort of related. I got a friend from Jersey. When he was in elementary school, they went through this experimental – you know how they're always changing math and changing the way you do things or whatever? His school did one called Whole Language, which was basically like rather than learning like silent – you know, PH makes an F f and this is a silent c and all those like normal like the normal way to read they just told you like sound it out just

like kind of sound it out and figure it out phonetically and like he can't he can't spell he can't read he's like illiterate because because like because like in his formative years he like really they were teaching him very much the wrong way. It's very funny that they call it whole language because learning how to spell W-H-O-L-E, the way they were teaching you, you'd have no fucking shot. So one time this dude, I said to him, like, yo, are you going to come with us? And he texted me. He said, yeah, I'll be right there. I just have to run some errands.

And he spelled E-R-I-N-S. I have to run some errands. And I was like, oh, you have you have a mental disability uh so if you know if you made that up a whole language yeah it's like it's like it was like a it was like a three-year period where they immediately were like never mind this is not working but for those three grades every single parent every parent who didn't step up there like you should have lost custody of your kid. Like, no, teach him how to fucking read for real. It was some hippy-dippy shit.

Like, just say whichever letters you think it is. It's crazy. But the point being that if you miss certain years, you're kind of fucked. Like, you know, what's the difference between, like, sixth and seventh grade? Like, nothing, really. You know what I mean? What's the difference between every sixth and seventh grade? Like nothing really. You know what I mean? The difference between every individual grade, I don't think anything. Like sophomore year to junior year, like you're going to be doing SATs and you're going to be doing like college prep and stuff.

I think by that time you're either dumb or smart already. Yeah, that's true. I think you're either born dumb or smart. I think it's just you're either dumb or smart. And that's it really. So school doesn't matter. You can choose how much you learn to learn. Yeah. I think it's just you're either dumb or smart, and that's it, really. So school doesn't matter. You can choose how much you learn to learn.

Yeah. But the – like I think you're just either dumb or smart. So what grade – I was hungover on Sunday, and I was just trying to think of words, and I couldn't. And I was like, do you think – but you know when you're like, I know this word. Or just even having a conversation, and you're like, yo, brain, catch up, dude. Yeah, you're like, I know this word, like we're just even having a conversation and you're like, yo brain, catch up dude. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're ahead of you.

We're ahead of where we are right now. Right. And do you think that's how dumb people are just every day? Yeah, probably. Well, no, I think when you're so dumb, you don't even realize it. It's like ignorance is bliss. I guess when I'm, when I enter a conversation where I'm the dumbest person in it, I know very quickly. I'm like, even that though. I think that I think stupidity mixed with narcissism is,

is a cocktail that a lot of people sip on where they, they are the dumbest person in the room and they don't know it. And they just keep on talking. But you like, it's, I guess is you don't have that sense of awareness where you just like, I know right away. I'm like,

this is my head. I'm out of my depth. Yeah. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, awareness where you just like i know right away like this is on my head i'm out of my depth yeah think about how many people exhibit that quality though nobody everybody's on social media the smartest person in the room everybody's regurgitating facts that they know are wrong i think it's pretty rare to know what you don't know and to know your limitations which is crazy but i think it is i guess i i i just have such high hopes for humanity and they always let me down i mean yeah why why what i don't know what more on the show what more proof

do you need i just like it doesn't make sense because i'm like a barely cynical person and i just genuinely think that like 99 of people are good, trying to do good. You brought up. They just refuse to stop letting me down. I mean, I think of it like when I yell at Mets fans and Jets fans, I'm like, why would you say this year is going to be different? I've been doing this for 30 years and it's always the same guys. It's the same thing as life. It's like, I've been on this planet for as long as I've been on it. And I've seen, it's always bad.

It's always, always bad. I just keep forgetting the duck under the like i'm just i refuse to learn my lesson i just i really do think i think most people are just like you're trying their best and you maybe you're not i don't think people many people are evil and then it's just like well why are you doing fucking evil shit man yeah you're dressed you're acting like an evil person you're not, but you keep on acting like it. So, I mean, on that note, Chris D'Elia is a perfect example of, you know, a guy proving you wrong there, John. We had Carly Aquilino on the show. She's from Girl Code, stand-up comedy. She was in King of Staten Island.

She runs with the Pete Davidson crew, Chris crew chris stefano history all that shit so very funny and we broke it down we brought up the chris delia stuff with her for you know an insightful but still funny conversation nothing too heavy and uh i mean i i explained the reason why i had her on the show john was is it not perfect i mean that was like this is perfect for our show it's like this you're gonna fit right in with this. So Carly Aquilino. Yeah, no, she was a great interview. There's a reason why she's, you know, she's not even 30, but she's been in this game for 10 years.

So Carly Aquilino brought to you by Miller Lite. You're going to sit down with a girl like Carly, crack a Miller Lite and share some laughs. Have a good time. That's what Miller Lite is there for. It's the best tasting, least filling beer out there. It's one of those OGs that's, you know, brewed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Makes you feel like, all right, these guys know what they're doing.

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right to your door right now all the delivery apps uh will have some middle of life for you so we can arrive right at your doorstep like goddamn magic and uh i always keep them on deck i got i got the tall boys i got that i i got all of them i got middle of light i got the high life i got the bottles the candy actually you when i them. I got Miller Lite. I got the High Life. I got the bottles. When I texted you when I slept over, I said, should I pick up anything? You said, no, I'm good. We got plenty of Miller Lites. I got the Miller Lite.

That's all you need. That's all you need. So get yourself some Miller Lite every time you're listening to the podcast. If you got one now, crack it open for our interview with Carly Aquilino. Carly Aquilino on KFC Radio. It's a name that I have always heard And always floated around And I feel like I've been seeing

Your content one way or another For like a decade But you're pretty fucking young I feel like you got into this shit pretty early And you are like very well established now At what like 29 is it? Yeah I'm 29 I started when I was about 20

So yeah it's been almost 10 years. Shit. Yeah. That's crazy. That's too long to be in one business. I know. I have no skills. I know. I'm out. Yo, it is weird for me. Like I had a little, What's that? I was going to go be a plumber. I found out how much plumbers make the other day. Oh, forget it. Plumbers make really good money. Yeah, all those people.

When you find out sanitation and plumbing and all that shit makes bank, it's like, wait a minute. I can do that. Dude, there was a story one time my dad told me. So I live in Massachusetts, Carly. That a plumber had to get to Martha's Vineyard to fix like the plumbing in a mansion. And he took his own jet. Yo, see, that's where I'd be like, fix your own fucking toilet.

I got a jet, bro. Right, exactly. At what point do you stop plumbing? You know, it's almost like you get too rich. Yeah, I also could imagine like there's some plumber who's, like, a billionaire. And it's between, like, his wife and kids driving him crazy at home or I go fix this guy's shitter. It's like, I got to go to work, kids. Hop on the PJ and go clean some poop.

What a fucking life. You get that way with, like, actors and famous people where you're like, aren't you just tired of working? Like, just stop. Right. You're not dealing with feces daily. Right. I pick feces. And one of those fatbergs or whatever.

You know when a bunch of tampons and diapers get stuck in a pipe? They call me. Oh, yeah. At some point, you have to get desensitized to it. I feel like after doing it for probably a year, you've seen it all. Right? And nothing bothers you. And then the rest, after a year, you have like a 30 year career after that.

You're not even bothered. No, that's not how it goes. You see in cop shows when they walk into some like massacre and they're like, I thought I'd seen it all. That's like a grisly little plumber. Yeah. There's always going to be a person that's going to top it yeah so the main reason i uh i i uh asked you to come on the show and it has nothing to do with the fact that you're in a great new movie or any of that shit i saw the clip of you and jessa may talking about looking

at her asshole and i was like this girl would be perfect for our show. I don't know what that says. I don't know if that says anything about you or us, but, uh, that was like, literally I texted my booker that in that moment was like, talk to Carly. That's so funny. Yeah. That's, um, Jesse May and I have, um, we've been friends for a long time. So like, I've actually seen, she's one of my only friends that I've actually seen her butthole. Like I've looked at it with my eyes and, and I'm going to tell you right now, you imagine what someone's butthole looks like sometimes. Right. But you don't really, you don't really experience

it until you're looking at straight in the face. So her and I, like our friendship is like, you can't, we can never not be friends. Right. Like no matter what happens between you two, you can be like, yo, sorry, like I murdered your parents. It's like, well, whatever. I've seen your assholes. I've seen her butthole at this point.

So you can't go lower. You can't, that can never go away. You know, it's burned in my brain. Can I ask how this came about? Because I have not seen the clip. How did, well, I saw her, we were in Miami. And of course. Oh, your asshole stories are always in Miami.

Yeah, of course we were in Miami. And we were on a vacation between shows. Like we had a show on Friday and then we had a show on Monday in Miami at colleges. So we were like, oh, whatever. We're not going to fly home. Let's stay. And one night we were sharing a hotel room. I was being a little angel. I was facing the wall. I may have

been like trying to fall asleep or whatever. And she was in the bed next to me and, um, started screaming my name. So I turned around and it was just her, um, butthole in my face. So it wasn't like an accident. I want to make that very clear. Like she did it. And then I kept turning away and looking back like, Oh my God, is it still going to be there? Like, but I couldn't stop looking at it, you know, it was like mesmerizing in a way. No, I know. I know. I get it. Yeah. Like, I mean, it's pretty much, like, once you hit, like, I don't know, I don't know, fucking 18,

maybe earlier, all guys are trying to do is look at girls' assholes. So, we know. We get it. We totally understand. That's true. I never thought of that. That is, that's all we do. That's it. We, uh, I remember Kumail Nanjiani, oddly enough, who I don't know if he sends out tweets like this anymore.

Probably not. I know where you're going, and I don't think he says this stuff anymore. I think he's a little too mainstream for popping off like this. But he had a tweet like a while back where he said something along the lines of he can't watch Anal Porn because then he can't see the butthole. I was like, Kumail! dude so true so funny oh my god that's so funny yeah i don't know i don't um maybe i'll just never understand the fascination with it from neither do i i don't either but it's just programmed into our brains

it's like you want to see something you're not supposed to see. That's what it is. That's the male-like thing. Yeah. But, like, there's nothing. I don't understand anything. There's nothing about it. Even when I'm hungry, I don't understand. I'm like, why?

What's wrong with me here? There's no part of my body that just, like, makes sense or my thought process. Everything is confusing. It's all a catastrophe. I'm still going through puberty, I is what we're getting you know it's funny though you say like you you always want to see what you can't see and like there there's a porn star i like who doesn't show her face and constantly shows her asshole really i just want i just want to see your face now i'm like enough of your enough of your beautiful asshole just show

me your eyes and your nose. Right, right. Exactly. It's mysterious. It's a good, like, shtick for her to have. That's a good bit. Right, 100%. What would you do if you saw her face and you didn't like it? Probably start looking at her asshole. You know how they say in olden times when it was like,

ooh, girl, you're nasty, like, show me your ankles? Like, if you didn't show me your ankles, when it was like, oh girl, you're nasty. Show me your ankles. If you didn't show me your ankles, I'd be like, well, let me see those. Show me that bone. Show me that heel, girl. Exactly. So King of Staten Island seems to be a smash.

Yeah. People are liking it. It seems like people are liking it. I'm really excited about it something that um you know I was so excited for so long for it to come out um because we shot it last summer and then it was like everything like I mean it couldn't have gotten more like off the rails but um it ended up coming out on yeah on demand and on like streaming and stuff and it's been doing really well so I'm happy about it I'm really proud of you know all my friends that are involved in it and it was just a cool experience we talked to uh Ricky and Bill Burr about it I think going on

demand was probably good I think it was like a good like a that type of movie for like this demo and this time I actually feel like it's better than going in theaters yeah yeah I know I agree too like it's like everybody's already home as it is so why not throw something else on there I mean I've watched all of Netflix and and I've watched all of Hulu yeah I seen it all like people I'm like oh what should I watch and people are saying shit I'm like I watch that like week one like I'm done I've been done with Netflix. What's been at like the top of your list? Um, Oh God, there's, there's so much good. There's so many good shows out. I've recently been watching. This is trash. Okay. But I've been watching 90 day fiance have the best. I mean, it's the best and the worst all at the same time. Cause I'm pretty sure it's just, like, kind of human trafficking, but whatever.

It's all good. It's, like, very interesting to see the people like, and now I'm watching, because I finished all the 90 Day Fiancé available, now I'm watching 90 Day Fiancé before the 90 days, which is even better. Is that the full title? Yes.

Before the 90 days, yes. Before the 90 days. Exactly. Before the 90 days. Before the 90 days. Exactly. It's like the prequel. Yeah. And it's so interesting because it's like these people, you see them meet for the first time and you're like, wow, this is truly like, there was a guy who,

one of these girls lived on the Amazon river and he, this guy has never left Kentucky before. Okay. And the way he dresses and like his mannerisms, he looks like a guy that like works the overnight shift at like CBS, you know, it's like he wears those, he wears those like black leather, um, like sneaker boots with the leather, like with the black soul. Do you know what shoes I'm talking about? They're like orthopedic style. And he goes to the, he goes to meet this girl and he flies to Brazil and then takes a two day

boat ride to get to her hut. So this dude, so this dude like works at CVS and he marries Xena Warrior Princess. He literally marries Xena Warrior Princess and the girl is so hot and he's, he's cuckoo and i'm just like this is so insane it's just wild this guy's like it's like you can't look away it's mesmerizing it's like looking at someone's asshole you're just like

this is a train wreck i can't stop you can see that i have a pattern here i've learned that i have a problem with because i don't like those shows, but I love hearing about them. Like, I like drama. I just don't like seeing it, because then it becomes real, and it's, like, weird. When I see the faces, like, I like creating the image in my head.

I like being told stories of drama rather than actually watching two psychopaths getting out of the 90s. Well, the dude... That was an awesome story. I love that story. I could not watch that on tv the dude who had the like the squished head was really the one that like blew it up that's kind of when i went mainstream because he is a fucking creature yeah alien and like his wife didn't even

speak english that was wild right he was the reason why i started watching the damn show because i've been seeing these memes about this guy who has no neck okay his neck is nowhere to be found like his shoulders and his ears touch it's crazy i've seen it yeah yes someone tweeted today this is this is what happens when you hit chris dilly in the head with a i saw that was so good with a mallet i saw that with a mallet so much better than sledgehammer that's such great writing yeah i. I saw that. With a mallet. Oh, my God. So much better than Sledgehammer. Mallet. That's such great writing.

Yeah. Great writing. I know. I saw that. Isn't it annoying sometimes when you see people, like, just on Twitter being so funny? Yo, the amount of funny people in the world, when you try to do it for a living or, you know, whatever we do, you more specifically when you're, like, doing stand-up, we just kind of shoot the shit.

But when I just see some asshole with like 162 followers who said something funnier than I ever will. I'm like, cause it's like, they have no pressure. Right. No, one's going to be like,

okay, clown, like delete it. Right. Cause they have no, like nobody's really, it's just a few people following them. So they have no pressure.

And they're just like, it's effortless. It's beautiful. Effortless. I get so angry, but also good for them. Cause that was a funny tweet yeah uh this this delirious shit is wild though huh i know i know i've been like following it like i'm on the case yeah somebody hired me oh i i didn't follow for that long before i went good. I was on the case and I closed it pretty fast. I wasn't searching for like a definitive because people are like, well, show me the facts. And it's like, well,

the facts are out there. Like, well, you know what? You're going to go down. There's going to be people talking about what the legality of age can sell this shit. It's like, fine, fine, fine. But this is not good. We can all agree this is not good i do feel like if we have to argue about if it's legal or not depending on which state it's probably too young probably not good general rule of thumb if you have to like call your lawyer and ask beforehand just fucking don't do it you have to look up the state yeah that's a problem it's bad it's not good i was when everyone was calling him a pedophile, it reminded me of,

I forget what comedian has this bit, but it's, I was dying. It's like, I'm actually, he's like, I'm not a pedophile. Oh no, like a pedophile doesn't just like kids. A pedophile does just like kids. It's actually an effinophile who likes 17 to 19 year olds or whatever. It's like, the problem with that

is you can't explain it without sounding like a pedophile again same thing if you have if you know that term and you've looked it up and you have the receipts on that one not good right exactly. Exactly. I just feel like it's, it's so weird because here's the thing, like a hundred percent, he fucked up. Like I'm not even denying that. I'm not looking for a reason to not say that. I do think that there has to be like a line somewhere where like his friend circle now is getting dragged, like, because they may have been complacent, which we don't know. I mean, we don't know what his friends know. So I feel like there has to be, that's like the

only thing that I'm like, you know, now they have this responsibility and it sucks. Like he's friends with a lot of people, a lot of great comedians, a lot of funny people and talented, successful, whatever. So I'm like that part about it sucks. If they were complacent, then that's fucked up. But we can't just assume everybody knew about this like creepy side of him. I mean, we had him on our show one time and I've tweeted about him here and there, like as a fan and people were like,

are you going to say something about your boy? And it was like, I don't really know this guy. But even I felt like, you know, I had to say something and I can't imagine that crew that's like, I don't really know this guy. But even I felt like I had to say something and I can't imagine that crew that's like, you know. But if it happened to you, I would be like, what the fuck? I'd put out some tweet. You have to say something. You have to address it.

And that's fine, but it's like, are they responsible? Because we don't know what they knew. So it's like... Everybody's responsible for their own shit. I'm not not gonna go down because you fucking had some creepy tendencies you know right and this is like wow like i've you know met him before and i've like followed him for years and i always was like a fan of his podcast and spoke like very highly of him so it's just like it is shocking for someone who's a fan of his like i don't fucking right i don't know the guy

have you i mean so you've been in the game for like you know whatever you said almost 10 years 7 8 9 years are you um are you like surprised i mean you know a lot of these comics now you kind of know the business is it does this shit still like shock you um that's a good question i feel like nothing will shock me at this point like i really do feel that way i feel like we've all i don't think anything will shock me at this point. Like, I really do feel that way. I feel like we've all, I don't think anything will shock anybody at this point. Like if an alien came down and started fucking zapping people, I would be like, yeah, this is happening. And I, and I'm not shocked. 2020, I got us again. Right. Exactly. Like, I don't think anything

can shock us at this point. Like we're so desensitized to being shocked by things like nothing will, nothing will ever surprise me. Was, uh, does Girl Code, is Girl Code still on? Are you still with that? No, it's not on anymore. They're doing like, um, next week we're shooting like a, kind of like a reunion, like quarantine style episode, um, like from our houses. So is that, I mean, obviously if you're doing a reunion show, that's something you still cool with. I like, I feel like sometimes people they get, you know, they start out on something and then they think they're like above it or better than it or like ashamed of it or whatever. And it's like,

I don't feel that way about it. I feel like, I mean, girl code and MTV were like really the thing that gave me my platform and, and launched my career. So I'll always do, you know, stuff with them in whatever way. I'm never like, Oh, I can't do that. That's silly. Do you feel like it's like a one-time thing, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, you might as well just embrace that. How much of your, your past do you find silly? What do you mean?

Like how much would you say is silly like kevin's like kevin's like like people like embarrassed the things they used to do what percentage of things are you embarrassed you've done in your life me yeah um like work stuff and all stuff just stuff oh god i'm embarrassed of everything yeah exactly that is the correct answer it's not even like um oh like things like from a year ago. It's like, no, like yesterday, probably I did something that was embarrassing. Or a week ago, I did something that was embarrassing. Like, I don't get mad at nighttime.

Like, I'll be up and be like, oh, I said something dumb two months ago at a party. And I feel really dumb about it. You know what's the worst? When you get like an old retweet. You ever see like right before you go to bed, someone like retweeted a tweet from like two weeks ago? Right. Oh no, that time has

passed. You're like, um, that's the old me. That's the old me. I've changed. I'm different now. That's the old me. Like, oh, that's so, yeah. I'll get a date with someone in the morning, gets favorited. I'm like, no like no fuck that was 12 hours ago we should all delete right away it's it's it's well i guess it's true it's true yeah i feel that way about about literally everything i feel it like you said it could be yesterday a week ago but i'm also sitting here

thinking about like that time in gym class in seventh grade when I like farted doing the sit-ups and I'm just mortified about it. You know, it's like there are just things in my life that I will never get over. And I will think about them in the shower every day for the rest of my life. Right. Oh, exactly. Exactly. Some people don't have that. And it's very impressive. Bullshit. Really? Oh, I don't know. I'm calling bullshit.

I think there are people who say they don't care. Fuck them. I think there are people who don't care and they're like, that's crazy. You have a mental disorder if you're not married. Right, exactly. The other one, what's your

best childhood memory? You remember that shit, but do you have one where you're like, that was fun? The best childhood memory. See, that's true. You remember the- John, you're scaring our guest! But no, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, like, what my best childhood memory is. I mean, childhood is so simple.

Oh, it's the best. You know? It's the best. I always say this for guys, and I don't know if it applies to girls. What? I don't know that it was the best. I always say this for guys and I don't know if it applies to girls. What? I don't know that it was the best. I don't have any memory of it. No, listen, I always said that like there was a period of time for me as like a boy where I was like still really good at little league baseball before it got like you have to be really athletic to play. I was riding my bike, like just riding around in circles. All the time. Probably playing some video games, maybe starting to dabble in porn.

And that was the perfect sweet spot. If I could go back to that age and just live that on a constant loop, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Not a care in the world. You're not too young where it's like, I'm a baby. Right. And you're not like old enough to have responsibilities. You're like kind of maturing. Not yet poisoned by like, I have to get laid and I have to drink, you know, kind of maturing not yet poisoned by like i have to get

laid and i have to drink you know like all the time it was simpler times right exactly that's true that's like the highlight those are the highlight years what's the what's the equivalent for a girl is the same sort of shit you guys are really it's probably the same stuff yeah i do feel like when i was younger like when i was like a, I was like in such a rush to be an adult. Like I feel like you always have to prove like, oh, no, I'm not a little kid anymore. It's like a weird transitional stage. So I do feel like it's probably not the same for girls because like we have like that stretch of time between like 14 and 17 where it's like, wow, you're a monster. Yeah.

Oh, my God. It's like you're not a good person. You like say things that are so, like I still apologize to my mom for shit that I said when I was 14 years old. So I'm sorry. I have a four-year-old daughter right now and everyone keeps telling me like,

wait till about 13, she's gonna fucking hate you. And I'm like, I'm like, no, no, no. She's gonna hate her mom. I'm gonna find a way to be the cool one. Yeah, she's gonna hate me too. one no she's definitely gonna hate me too you hate everybody at that age don't you yeah of course especially anybody that's like like trying to discipline you

yeah no shit because you're like I'm a woman but you're not you're a 13 year old anytime people are like I'm an adult I'm like I'm 35 and I'm not a fucking adult and you think you are at like 15? Yeah.

All you can do is hook up with Chris D'Elia. You can't. You don't know anything else. Give me a break. Exactly. Exactly. I think that the younger generation, though, is going to have a hard time with like insulting you with social media.

Like if Shay ever yells at you, you can just open your mentions and be like, bring the heat next time. That is what I've dealt with every day for 15 years. Although, did you see the blog that Tyler put up the other day with the TikTok, with the kids on TikTok talking shit about the boomers? But that was funny. That was so funny. These kids, Carly, it was just like somebody posted a TikTok and then all the comments were other TikTok kids making fun of like old people, which in this case is like 22 year old. Right. Right. Right.

And it was just like, all they do is talk about like whether they're a Hufflepuff or a Slytherin from Harry Potter and the kids on TikTok were like, Oh shit. It was like, I just need, I just need some wine and pizza. Like Rebecca, sit down. You're an alcoholic. Grow up and do a line of Coke, Rebecca. You're an adult. It's so fucking good.

That's so funny. I don't have a TikTok. I've seen a bunch of the ones that, like, obviously they're going viral right now. I kind of feel like I want to get an account, but I feel like I'm too old. You are. You're washed up. I feel like I'm too old. Yeah, I'm washed up.

You are an old lady. I'm an old. You are. I feel like I'm too old. You are an old lady. I'm an old hag. You could be legitimately close to 10 years younger than you are and still be too old. Yeah. You're right. I also feel like there's people that I know that are around my age or older than me that are on it. And it's just, sometimes it hits you. It's like the dancing and the mouthing words and it's just like what are you doing they all look at the camera go like stick their tongue out or some shit i'm like oh come on 33 what are you doing we have we have a girl who works for us uh this girl ria who's

22 years old and people try up her for being 22. It was like, get off that old lady. She's like, I just want to have fun dancing guys. Right. Right. The dance challenges are like the thing that probably made Tik TOK like so famous. Right. Yep. Yeah. I mean, it's, that's the other problem too, is that, you know, Twitter, you can crack a joke, Instagram, you put up a picture of like your drink Tik TOKs,

like here's a coordinated dance, learn it for the next three days and then, you know, do 35 takes of it. Right. And be really good at it. I've always said the, the, like, I can't wait to be dead for the sweet, sweet release of never having to download another social media app. Cause like, how many more are we going to do? Like another decade, I'm going to have to download like five more.

I can't, can't keep up anymore. Right. Right. Wow. These guys are can't keep up anymore. Right, right. Wow, these guys are making so much money though, right? These like creators, these fucking guys that are like, oh, I mean, what is even TikTok? Nobody knows what the fuck it is and why it's different, right? No, I mean, the amount of kids who are like making so much more money than me.

Wild. It is fucking, I try not to be a hater. I try to be like, good for you kids. But on the inside, I'm like, I hope you die in a fire. I want all your money. There's that meme of like a little clown in a tiny clown car and it's like

me on my way to work in the morning when I realized that a 12-year-old kid made $60 million on YouTube. It's terrible. It's like, and they live the life. They're rich and they're pretty and they're in the sun. Right. Right. It's like, we get it. We get it. Stop. Stop rubbing it. So what's next? What's like, you know,

I feel like it's weird when you do start so early and have like a pretty great deal of success right away. Like you just got to keep up with this. Yeah. I mean, obviously like right now at this point in time, it's not like, Oh, I'm going on the road and blah, blah, blah. Cause I, I always do stand up. Like I never stopped doing standup. Is that what your like forte would be? Like your standup comic? Um, I started out, yeah, that's like my first thing that I started out doing. Um, but then I got into TV stuff and then I did like a lot of like, um, like talking head, like commentary, like comedian commentary, like for TV. And very recently I started getting booked, like doing like little things for acting,

like for example, King of Staten Island. So we'll see, we'll see what happens next. It's hard to be like, this is what I want because I pretty much like, I would be happy with whatever, what I really feel like I would want to focus more on is acting and some like TV stuff, maybe some hosting stuff. Do you have like acting background or that's just like kind of your personality? That, yeah, it's, I definitely don't have an acting background. Like I'm always so impressed when people are like oh I went to this special high school and I was in theater when I was a kid and blah blah blah it's like I didn't I never um you know did that so classes or anything you just let it fly yeah I take classes pretty regularly like

in the last like I would say probably three or four years. So I'm still new at it, but I, I take classes. Is that weird? We had, we had Logan Paul on probably a little while back. Oh my God. Really? Yeah. Oh yeah. I love Logan. Logan's my, Logan's my boy. One of the most misunderstood guys out there. Yeah. I've never met him. Actually. I have met him. I met him God. It was probably like four or five years ago and he was nice yeah like i never like i've never oh no we haven't met him but like i think he was he was the original like before tiktok it was like fuck these youtubers who are making money and you know and then he had like a couple missteps where people jumped all over him but like he's just a normal dude who has like a good sense of humor and like a friendly guy he just happens to be like tall fucking white and

rich so people are like fuck you you know right yeah i don't sorry what were you gonna say well i was asking him like is it weird being known already and being in acting class like are you nervous when you're in class to be like are people gonna know who i am like and right that like you know like i shouldn't be here um with me i I mean, I never felt that way with someone like him. I mean, he's so fucking famous and he's in LA, which is like, everyone's an actor. So it's like, are either of you guys in LA? No, we're in New York.

Oh no, you're New York. Yeah. So it's like everyone in LA is an actor. Like your Uber driver that drives you to the bar and then your bartender and then fucking everybody else that's at the bar. So it's just, I would see it being more like for him, I would think it would be real difficult, but for me now, the classes that I take are usually like five or six people and it's not weird. You're in New York.

Like in a very setting where it's like, like almost a, an amphitheater, but sure. A mini amphitheater inside. The exact opposite. You know, like the stadium seating type deal where it's like, I just figured they were like. That's probably more in L.A., right? I'd imagine where you just need to have more bodies in the class. But in New York, it's probably a lot more small. Yeah.

I mean, I'm sure it's all different everywhere. I'm sure there are different types of classes I like it better when um there's like it's a smaller class because I feel like you get more time with the teacher um and also you have to watch everybody so watching like 30 people would probably get a little boring so so we know where Carly's at where she's like all right I'm done with my part Can I just get the fuck out of here? I have to, I have to watch all you guys. I like watching people. Cause I like hearing like the teacher, but I, I mean, that's like hours overkill. That's like a full day of school and you get to do your thing for, for, you know, a minute. Yeah. Are you going to be, uh, are you like New York for life? I feel like a lot, most people in your spot by now would have made the move out to LA.

Yeah. I've been, I've been trying to avoid LA. I don't have a problem with it, but you know, I don't, I'm just like from New York. My family's here. I love New York. I can't picture myself like ever permanently living in California, even though it's beautiful and my way of life would probably be a lot easier. Maybe it's just like the New Yorker in me. That's like, no, even though it's beautiful. And my way of life would probably be a lot easier. Maybe it's just like the New Yorker in me. That's like, no, I need to

be miserable. I, so I'm from New York, like through and through also, but I'm from the Bronx. You're from the Bronx. Okay. Are you from Staten Island or is that just from Long Island? Same thing. Okay. Yeah. Same shit. Just a different island gal. Yeah, for sure. I'm like, at this point, I, at this point, I'm like, when you're not going out, I got kids now, so I'm not going out. I'm not enjoying the good part of New York, but I'm still paying more money and dealing with the fucking garbage. And now it's the fucking center of death. I'm like, what am I doing here? Yet I can also guarantee you I'm never going to leave. I don't know. Right. Right. I don't know either. Cause I'm like the, my friends that live in LA that have the same rent as me. I mean, they like have such a better mansion. It's like wild how much of a better life you have. And I don't know. I just feel like also I don't drive. So I feel like that would be like, you don't like to drive or like you don't do it. I don't drive period. Do you have a license? I am not anymore.

No, it expired. I never renewed it because, uh, okay. So I got my driver's license when I was like the age, like 17, 18. I failed my road test eight times, eight times to the point where like I had the same instructor several times, like each instructor I had the same instructor several times. Like each instructor I had more than once. I feel like there should be like you get five and then you're just not fit to drive. Two.

You should get two. That's it. You should not get more than two. Like two, you're bad. You're a bad driver. You always will be. Yeah. But yeah, I failed eight times.

And my parents, I didn't even want to drive I had I never had any desire to drive and my parents were like we're not like our life like their life became driving me to work and picking me up from work and driving me to school picking me up from school my parents are like we're not like a chauffeur it's like the point of you getting older was that you like start to do yourself yeah yourself. You're self-sufficient. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, well, that's dumb. Like, I definitely don't want to do that. No thanks. Understood.

Thanks, but no thanks. I was like thrilled to fail the fucking road test. I was like, I don't even care about driving. I'll drive with my fucking eyes closed. I don't want my license. I'm not drinking a beer. Yeah, exactly. I don't put the seatbelt on.

Just like go in reverse. So I ended up getting my road test. I got like a little Toyota Corolla and I drove for about two months before I totaled. I got into a really bad car accident and then I never drove again for the rest of my life. That's fair. I thought you were just like, I don't drive. Because that's what I do. I also don't drive.

I hate driving. Where do you live? I live in New York, but I'm't drive. Because that's what I do. I also don't drive. I hate driving. Where do you live? I live in New York, but I'm in Massachusetts now. You're in Massachusetts. So how are you getting around in Massachusetts? Well, he can, Carly. He's an adult. But he just doesn't like to.

You choose not to. I choose. OK, that's very bourgeois. Yeah, it is. Well, yeah, that's one word for it. It's called fucking being a lazy and considerate asshole. But sure, it is. Well, it's, yeah, that's one word for it. It's called fucking being a lazy and considerate asshole. But sure, bourgeois. It's French.

Me and a friend who like also hated to drive used to like, you know, when we carpool like in college and stuff like that, we'd have like, it would be an unspoken contest where like, when we first showed up, we'd like just crack a beer and see if we'd get drunk faster to be like, well, I can't drive back home now that's so funny yeah I mean driving is some people love it but to me it scares the shit out of me I especially could never drive in New York City I live in Brooklyn so it's just

like why would I do that honestly that's the more reasonable take here I think it's kind of weird that like we talked about this just a couple of weeks ago on the podcast that like, you can have, you know, the same like 15 year old girl we were talking about. It doesn't know shit about the world. We're like, here's your learner's permit.

Take these keys and go operate this like five ton piece of fucking metal. Right. Why is that the standard? Right. With your cell phone, like drive, right. A hundred percent.

Your hand and drive. Yeah. And make fucking, that's the best. Right. With your cell phone. Right. 100%. With your hand and drive. Yeah. And make fucking, that's the best. TikToks while driving. You see people doing TikToks while driving. Yeah. Okay. What are you doing?

No, that's, you're probably right. None of us should be driving. Even if I was very safe, I would still feel unsafe because the people on the road. Yeah. They don't know what the hell they're doing. They're not paying attention half the time. So I'm good just like. I got good. And I very rarely drive. But when I turned 30, I got like, I don't know if the hell they're doing. They're not paying attention half the time. I got good.

I very rarely drive. When I turned 30, I got like, I don't know if it was that age, but a little older. I was like, all right, enough texting and driving, John. I'm really good at just not having my phone now. That means there were 14 years where I was having texting and driving. Exactly. I like that 30, you were like, it's time.

I'm an adult. I'm 30 now now so i gotta not yeah break the law every day toilets and we don't text and drive all right carly well we appreciate the time you've been killing it for a long time and i thank you guys this was so fun you got it anytime by, Carly, I was listening to the podcast this morning. Yeah. Tattoo artist. He's fine. The tattoo artist. Yeah. He was, he was tattooing his. So as I recall, someone called in Carly's podcast is a secret keepers club, right? Right, right, right. Yes. I have a podcast called secret keepers club. I'm remembering. Oh, the tattoo art. Wait a minute. Oh, you got long on me. Wait a minute. Give me the scoop. Give me the scoop. So a girl wrote in and if this is what you're talking about, number one, I'm canceling out of the zoom. I'm canceling my wifi. I'm going to call Verizon files and say, don't even make it

possible for anyone to contact me for the rest of my life. If this is the same thing. So the tattoo artist, he had a girlfriend. His girlfriend wrote into my podcast saying she had a problem with a girl that her boyfriend was working with. She just got out of a long relationship or marriage and he tattooed her ass. He's a tattoo artist. It's his friend. They're not. She didn't pay him him she's an employee at the at the shop that's for the love of the game he's an artiste would you if you if you were dating

someone who was like who painted nude models would you consider that a problem if you started painting a new model of brenda the girl that i don't like that he works with or whatever the hell her name is or some random girl at CVS you know that we know like no it was I remember I was like I was like I was like blown away I was like hang on he was just tattooing her ass and like this is even a question and then I realized he's a tattoo artist and I was like well that's what he does that's his job I thought this the way you set that up i was like i hope that john is not like condoning someone here who did something really bad he's a tattoo artist he's doing you get a fucking mom tattoo on your butt you get a heart on your butt it's fucking walk in the park it's 2020 that ain't a girl that has been flirting with her boyfriend for a long time he hasn't been

flirting with her appropriate and she's inappropriate she She talks to him about stuff. She calls him all the time. Okay, let me know. You know what? This is where I think girls, you have a right to be more mad at her because she's

definitely trying to fuck your boyfriend. And I think you have a right to be mad at your boyfriend because we're dumb like that. Where it's just like, yeah, like I know this is inappropriate, but like, I just don't really fucking care,

but he's not doing anything inherently wrong. He's just being an idiot. Well, well, he knows that she doesn't like this girl. Yeah. But you girls don't like any girls. Your girlfriend does not like any other girls.

Yes. That's not true. I like girls. That are talking to your boyfriend or socializing. I don't care. I don't care. That's not true. I like girls. That are talking to your boyfriend or socializing with him. Yeah, I don't care. I would have said that's not true until recently. I think it's fine now. But here's my question to you, Carly. Would you rather

be dating a guy that no one at work want to hook up with? Or that has to deal with things like this? Oh, no, because then you're dating a fucking loser. Then you're dating another loser. That's fine. I've done it before. You think that scares me? That's where I thrive.

That's my sweet spot. Yeah, fuck that. Put a ring on that. Give me the biggest loser. Give me some fucking plumber who's a loser who's going to be rich one day. I'll put you on the phone with my mom. Can you drive me to work? Then we're good.

Exactly. The bar is on the floor. There is no bar. There's no bar. I love it. Well, uh, go check out the podcast and you'll catch her on a King of Staten Island and you'll see her on much, much more in the future. Carly. Thanks so much. Awesome. Thanks guys. Yo, I, I, I don't know if there's a bigger flex than just being like, I don't drive. I don't do it. That's like, that's like what a, like a Sultan would do. Like, I don't know you, you have to transport me wherever I need to go. That's, that's special right there. But it really is. Like I said, it's probably the more reasonable

thing is to not drive than to drive. It's one day. We'll look back on it as a crazy time. We just let people drive cars for like a hundred years. I don't remember how, I don't know when it was invented. Absolutely. Anybody for a hundred years. I don't remember. I don't know what those invented. Absolutely. Anybody for a hundred years could, could whip these things around. And it's not like we haven't proven it wrong. They're like 200,000 people a year die or whatever. And we're like,

we got to do what we got to do. Let's talk to Kevin Bacon. He's back. One of our biggest, like KFC radio crushes ever. And he's back to promote his new movie that's out today. You Should Have Left, which looks

scary as fuck. And me, I am a big Sturbeckos fan. One of Bacon's older movies. And so this seems right up that alley. So if you like Sturbeckos, you're going to love that. So let's talk to Kev about the new movie and all that's going on in the crazy world right now. There he is. There's the dude.

How are you, Kev? How's it going, fellas? We're doing all right, man. How about you? Getting through. It's early over there for you, huh? Yeah, what are you doing up right now? I'm on the East Coast. Oh. I thought you were getting up at 7am for an interview and that would have been crazy.

Well, I'm an early riser, so I would have done that. You live out west, though, right? I go back and forth. Okay. Have you been doing most of quarantine here or there? Here. Wow. When I say here, I mean I'm in Connecticut.

Right, yeah. I feel like the move would have been to get the hell out of the East and go West, no? Yeah, but that's not the way it kind of panned out. Just family, etc. I hear you, man. It's crazy times. So, you got this

new movie coming out, and I decided to watch the trailer last night before I went to bed. I turned it off, Kev. I've got to be honest. In my older years, I'm getting a little soft when it comes to movies, but

that movie looks fucking creepy, man. It looks good. Yeah, it's scary. I've been a fan of scary movies for a long time. I was in the very first Friday the 13th. That was the first scary movie that I did.

Did you get killed? Yeah, I had the classic. You know, that was one of those, like, slasher-type movies. Not necessarily the kind of horror that I'm drawn to. I'm more of like a exorcist Rosemary's baby type horror guy. And, um, but I had the classic horror movie death where,

uh, I had sex with a girl and, and lit up a joint. And that's perfect. That's like, it's not a bad way to go yeah yeah every time you see somebody do that i mean i think there was kind of like this idea with horror that maybe there was a you had to put some strange moral kind of message in there about right making the that you're going

to get your throat slit if you make the wrong choices so So, yeah, so I did that one, and then I was in Hollow Man and did a few other things. I mean, I like... Stare of Echoes, I think, is one of the most underrated movies ever. I love Stare of Echoes. Well, Stare of Echoes, I made that with the same writer and director

as You Should Have Left. Oh, nice! Yeah, so after we did Stare of Echoes, I kept saying to him, you know, I really want to do this again with you. I really enjoyed the experience. And unlike a lot of situations, you know, in Hollywood, we actually maintained a friendship over a long period of time, me and him.

And I finally wore him down, but it took 20 years. Come on, let's make something scary again, contained and, you know, in a house. And, and finally what really happened was that I was talking to Kira, to my wife about ideas for horror movies that could be done, you know, relatively inexpensively. And she said, well, what about a horror movie surrounding a marriage? And I'm not really sure how I should take that. That was her suggestion.

And so Dave and I started to bat that, you know, idea around. And we, you know, were kind of in the middle of it. He was, he was pretty close to, I think he had already written an outline. He's a brilliant, brilliant writer and, and has had amazing ideas around this thing. And I read this book randomly, which was a translation of a German novel called You Should Have Left. And I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but sometimes I guess they call it zeitgeist, you know, like one idea will be over here and then you'll read something that's really close. And so these two ideas were almost identical. So I said, David, you know, I think we should see if we can get in touch with the writer of the book and see if we can, you know, base our movie kind of on this book.

Oh, what a what a moment for that guy, huh? Like all these years later, just gets a call from Kevin Bacon and like, can we make it into a movie? Yeah, well, he's had other movies made into German films before. He's he's an excellent writer. And our movie is very different than the book of You Should Have Left. But I recommend the book as well. It's 100 pages. And so it kind of reads like, which is good for me

because I'm not... Yeah, that's right up my alley. I'm like a reader. But yeah, yeah, it was really... We really enjoyed making the movie and we're very, very proud of it. It's it's it it it works. Now, let's say let's take the movie out of it. Right. Let's say Kevin Bacon and the family are on vacation and they're staying at a house and you wake up one night or one morning.

And in your notebook, it says it wasn't you shouldn't have. Well, I forget what the first note says, but it was like basically like get the hell out of my house do you leave or do you stick around and try and figure out why the house is talking to you uh i'm the type of guy that would probably stick around yeah oh my god you're throwing your throat slash like right at the 13th why would you say i know and my wife would say uh we are out of here we are out of here you know i don't know i because i have this thing where like if there's something i want to try to like fix it but i can tell you that you know because of our job not so much vacation but because of uh the fact that we have i was thinking you know between the two of us, I mean, I don't, we've almost worked in almost every state in the, in the union because, you know, you do a lot of work in LA and,

and, and in New York, but we've been at this a long time. And a lot of times we're in rented houses in very, very kind of like, you know, small towns or, or big towns or whatever, but there, and, and there's something about going into a place where a family has moved out of in order to make the money on you renting it. It can be very strange. And in fact, David really focused on it in the movie. And there's a wall where there's just hooks for pictures.

All the pictures have been taken down because people are taking away anything personal that's in the house. And there's always one closet that has a lock on it. And they put all their own personal shit. And it's just, there's a very strange thing about that. We've experienced that exact same thing. In fact, when I went to London to make the movie,

we shot it in Wales partly and then partly in London, I moved into this flat and sure enough, there was a wall of hooks and I took a picture of it and sent it to David and said, you were right on the money with this. Yeah. So let me ask you, do you believe in any of this stuff? Supernatural? Nothing. No, I often say, cause I've done a few different, you know, ghosty type movies and you have stir a backless being one of them.

I like, I love the city of ghost. I really would. I would love to have some kind of a supernatural experience. It's just never happened. I mean, it's not so much that I don't believe in it. I think people that have had or believe in the occult or like to get their tarot cards read or whatever are stupid. I don't have a real judgment about that if it gives you some kind of peace or clarity,

or you feel like you can speak to your loved ones, you know, that, that I think that's cool that it's just, it's never happened to me. Yeah. I mean, you know, I've played with a Ouija board before. What about aliens? You believe in aliens? Not really. What? No, not really. I don't think there's anything out there. It's not that I, it's not that I, you know, it's just, I,. What? No, not really. Nothing? I don't think there's anything out there.

It's not that I, it's not that I, you know, it's just that I just want to, you know, I would just have of genres and television shows that are all kind of based on things that we can't explain. And I like them. I'm a fan of them. I find them interesting. And so maybe there's a part of me that kind of subconsciously is ready to accept something supernatural. I don't know. Kevin's met ghosts before. Yeah. I had a house. I don't live there anymore, but I had one night that like genuinely scared the shit out of me where, I mean, it was just absolutely footsteps going back and forth on an upstairs hallway. And I checked the kids and I checked my wife at the time.

Like everybody was in bed, everything was silent. And I was like, was like, I remember laying in bed being like, what do I do? Do I call someone? Do I grab them and run out of the house? Because it's kind of like the first question we asked you. It's like, do you really run out of this house because you're afraid of something silly or what? And I mean, I just sat there and the morning came and nothing happened. But in the moment I was like, well, this is like what I always say in the movies. I'm not going to be the guy who just sits around and waits until he dies. Let's go. And then I just sat there.

That's the age old question. Who are you going to call? Right. What have you been up to in quarantine, Kevinvin because i feel like everyone at the start of quarantine was like i'm gonna learn guitar i was gonna learn the ukulele uh learn spanish read books i feel like you do everything already like you had the bacon brothers just put out a new song so your music got that box checked you said you like to read box checked what do you do what do you what do you need to learn um uh let's say i think there's well i think for right now i think this is actually a great learning moment just to see the uh the protests and um the uh uh i think that the the exposure that we have in a really deep way to how people are, a lot of people are really hurting and really angry in this country.

And I'm taking this as a learning, teachable moment. So that involves, you know, reading, writing, and mostly just listening, you know, listening to people. And, you know, I'm someone who spent a lot of my life, honestly, believing that I knew everything there was to know about everything. For whatever reason, I kind of... Confidence. Yeah. Nature and nurture, or maybe it's a way to mask a deeper insecurity. I don't really know. But when it came to acting, I felt like I knew everything. When it came to music, I felt like I knew everything. When it came to music, I felt like I knew everything when it came to politics and history and race and all these kinds of things. And thinking of myself as an empathetic person and a woke person, a liberal person. And I think that I'm at a point in my life

where I'm realizing that there's a lot of shit that I don't know. And there's a lot of shit that I can only pretend or hope to one day have an understanding of, or maybe never. And, um, that there was a lot, there's a lot more that I can, um,

learn about the world, but also about things like acting. You know what I mean? I don't, I don't, uh, I don't, I don't know everything.

Like I don't know everything. And that's been a really interesting thing, especially during the Corona virus to like be kind of confronted with that and head on in a way. working at something. I mean, I just randomly, I'll be like, I found a kid's old broken down kid's drum set in the, in the basement. And I'm like, I need to fix this drum set. So it's just, it's like completely falling apart, but I get a roll of duct tape and I spend like two, three hours down there, like using duct tape and all. And, you know, I've lost a drum key. So I'm like with a needle nose pliers.

I'm like taping and pasting. But I got it working and I played it for a little while. And then I went upstairs. You know what I mean? Like I have to I have to be doing those types of things. Now, that being said, I think that, you know, you're talking about the ukulele or, or, uh, sorry about reading things. I think that we all put a lot of pressure on ourselves when this, this thing happened, um, to, uh, this was a time when we were going to be like Uber creative. And I think that what you can't really underestimate is that there's also a lot of stress that is surrounding this.

And it's a it's a deep, deep, low level stress. And I think it's it's it's as inspiring to me as the protests are. It's also bringing up a lot of stuff, I think, for a lot of people And as well as the coronavirus, as well as, you know, the news. And sometimes you just, I just find myself just staring at the wall, you know what I mean? It's like I can't, even for somebody who is so like, I'm such a workaholic, sometimes I just can't, I can't do anything.

You know what I mean? I feel a little bit incapacitated or i pick up my guitar and i should be practicing or i should be writing or whatever and i just can't so you have to sort of i think we have to let ourselves off the hook to not uh write the great american novel during this time right i think that was that was something i like kept saying it was like basically the only piece of history I knew. When it started, I was like, well, the Black Plague led to the Renaissance, and then

a month or two in, I was like, I'm not a Renaissance man. I'm not a Renaissance man. Let someone else do the Renaissance work. I'll be over here on the internet. Yeah, I survived, and then that's the tale I'll tell. Have you got out into the city at all kevin out in the city yeah i would see i was there because i came home to

massachusetts so i went this weekend just to pick up some stuff and it was very different i felt like kind of separated from everything just being in my parents house you know and getting out in the city for the first time saturday and sunday was like that was the first time where it hit me really like like oh we are living in a part of history right now like it was the the vibe in the city was so very different everything boarded up and shit like that it was it was definitely a very unique experience that was like i felt necessary yeah i've talked to a lot of people that have had that same kind of experience going back and coming out outdoors in the city. very important part of my life. And I, you know, I dream of a day when it can, you know, be back in, into its, into its glory. And I don't, you know, I don't know when that day will come. I've just recently read a, I'm in the middle of reading.

It's very long protocol for how we might get back to work in my industry and television film industry. And it's, it's, it's a pretty overwhelming kind of thing to get your head around, you know? Yeah. I'm sure it's not easy considering like how big of a production these productions are. How do you do it with all these? We just saw an article about a week ago that said they're going to start either writing it out altogether or doing CGI for any

sex scenes. I mean, is that something that like, as an actor, are you guys like that ruins it or, you know, it doesn't matter to you or let's, yeah, let's, you know, those scenes are awkward anyway, let's get rid of them. I don't, I don't know how you do that. I mean, I, I suppose, you know, if the other day I was picturing like, you know, you, you a lot of times you use green screen, obviously they can, you know, put, they're not for sexies, but, but I mean, I, I picture that, you know, that you'd be rolling around with, you know, like an inflatable green doll,

you know, with somebody, you know, it's, it's pretty, it's a pretty horrific concept. So I don't, I, I don't know. I don't know. Would you rather do something like that or have a writer be like, we're just going to get rid of any intimate scenes and there'll be no romance or no passion in this movie?

That's a really good question. I think it would depend. I think it would depend. I mean, I think it would depend. I think that, um, I just watched this, uh, this, this show called normal people, which was clearly done before the, uh, before the violence is fantastic. Yeah. It's so good and it's, and it's so well acted and there's a lot of, there's a lot of intimacy in it and it's handled extremely well, I think like, and, and feels very, very, very real. And you look at something like that and you said,

it would really kind of be a tragedy. I mean, how could you make that show without, without that piece of it? I mean, I think you could try, but it would be, it would be hard. So I, I don't, I'm, I'm not sure. I mean, I think that there's a lot of mystery to how life is going to start to, you know, find some normalcy from this point on. But I know that I love content. I love to act. I love to I'm a real consumer of the films and of television. And I think that, you know, in times like this of not only of, you know, tragedy like the coronavirus, but also big, you know, cultural change and revolutionary thought, you know, these times need to be commented upon by people that make

art. And I'd like to think that not all the time, but some of the time, you know, I'm involved in making some kind of art, and I hope that we can find a way to get back to being able to do that. I also think that people are going to be hungry for content. I don't know about you, it seemed like two months ago, the list of things that I wanted to watch was huge. You started to dip away at, dip into, you know, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills or something like that. You know what I mean? Things that you wouldn't necessarily be drawn to. Do you think that this obviously this you should have left comes out on video on demand. Do you think that this will be the future forever?

Even when theaters come back, that movies will largely go to video on demand well i think that uh again i mean i love the live movie going experience and i would hate to see that go away forever that's what i became when i became an actor like that was it we used to go to the uh uh the for the really important movies that would come out star wars or apocalypse now there was a the state-of-the-art theater was on 54th street that zigfield and uh it had the amazing surround sound for the first time and i remember the first time that i was sitting in the theater and uh heard the choppers coming over my head for apocalypse. Now, and I was like, turning around, like, Holy shit, this is amazing.

And to go into a dark room with a bunch of strangers and, and, uh, you know, to have a shared experience with a piece of content like that, that's, uh, you know, that's, that's movies to me. And I would hate to see that go away. Um, completely. I don't think, I think it can be both though. Right. I mean, that's, that's movies to me. And I would hate to see that go away completely. I don't think, I think it can be both though. Right. I mean, like, I love that experience too, but I just had two small kids the past few years. I didn't get out much and I would have paid, you know,

full price and probably a premium on top of it to just have it right to my house. So I don't see why it can't be both. I agree. I think it can be both. And I think for the time being, um, you know, with, you should have left, we had always, um, planned on, on it being a video on demand release. So, uh, so when the pandemic hit, it just seemed like, well, this is our plan anyway. Um, you know, uh, I think it, I think it can can be I think it can be both.

And I think it's been interesting to watch because what happened was in my memory was that you had these movies and the movies were the place where all the smart content was in the Oscar movies. And, you know, and then television was kind of like, you know, guilty pleasure. You know, it was like crappy, you know, half hour things. And, you know, I mean, some some of them were great, but a lot of it was, you know, news and sports and other things that you really wanted to stay home for. But when you wanted to go see something really serious, you went to the movies. And then that sort of started to shift over time. Right. And and then people started to expand what they wanted in in in content from a story and see more expanded characters and more, you know, detail and want to watch people again and again over over a period of time um and then series you know was with whatever i don't know what what you would start it with the wires the pranos or something became all the grown-ups started liking to watch tv and everything that was in the movie was was just for the kids it was

comic books and cartoons and and um i could see a shift sort of going in the other direction now in a funny kind of way, you know, because now they're willing to spend a ton of money and you have like a platform like Disney, which is going to be the stuff that you don't take your kids to the movies. You know what I mean? You stay home, but maybe grownups are going to start going and wanting to see more, I don't know, elevated kind of material. I really don't know. What do I know? I'm just, I'm just spitballing here. I think you have a pretty good idea. If I was going to take someone's advice, Kevin Bacon would be at the top of the list, I think. You mentioned, you know, people who do art need to be speaking out and talking about all this stuff. I don't know if you saw at the beginning of

quarantine, a bunch of actors did their version of John Legend's Imagine. And then just the other day, there was a collection of actors who were kind of speaking dramatically about racism. And both times it was kind of panned by the internet and by fans as saying it's tone deaf. You know, what do these guys know? Why are we listening to them? Do you feel like you're kind of in a it's like a lose-lose like if you don't say anything you're being silent and sometimes if you do say something it's it's coming across as you know acting or not real i think that um people's hearts are in the right place and i think that when you see something as serious as a pandemic and the fact that people are struggling, you know, now we being perpetrated again and again and again, if your heart's in the right place, you know, you feel like you want to do something. I mean, I think that, yeah, listen, sometimes things come off well and sometimes they don't and nobody's perfect. And, and, um, you know, we all, uh, have the capacity to

make mistakes. And, but when I look at those things, I feel like the people who were involved in them and the feelings that they had, you know, for the most part were, they were, their hearts were in the right place. I also think that, you know, it's a, it is, it's a difficult time. I mean, here I am, you know, trying to hawk my wares with a, with a, with a movie, you know, it is. It's a difficult time. I mean, here I am, you know, trying to hawk my wares with a movie. You know, you have to do it with a certain kind of we,

let's put it this way, you don't have to. We're going to try to do it with a certain kind of sensitivity to what's happening in the world. And finding that balance is not an easy thing to do. Well, I mean, it's not, like you just did it perfectly 10 minutes ago. You said, I thought I used to know everything and now I'm learning. I don't. And I'm just kind of listening and trying to be better about it.

I mean, that's, that was so genuine and honest and you know, I believe it. And why, you know, why does it have to be a video and black and white and music? It's like, just do what Kev just did. It sounded great. I hear you about that. But also think that you know uh just like everybody else i'm you know i'm a heartbeat away from you know whatever saying something stupid or you know so um i think uh it's uh it's it's tricky i also, you know, you have to keep in mind when you have, when you are people who are used to being out there and in the public eye, you know, this is something that they're, you know, this is this kind of bizarre life that we lead right where where what we say takes on a either an import that maybe doesn't necessarily need to

have so much you know and and um and you know the haters are gonna hate so amen man i hear that well listen thank you for the time as always uh new movie you should have left us out on june 18th and get has the one of the best hooks in the trail i've ever seen i don't know what you did but i want to know so bad yeah when amanda says uh you know the jury said he didn't do it but some people don't like him i was like oh baby let's go yeah there's actually a lot of really and that's there's a lot of good surprises so I think there's things that you know sometimes you cut a trailer and you go well they just

showed me the whole movie but we didn't show you the whole movie nice well it's out available on demand everywhere so you don't have to go anywhere you can watch it at home stay safe and check out Kevin Bacon's new movie you should have left June 18th thank you sir as, really appreciate it Thank you fellas, good to see you

Thanks Kevin, great to see you I've got some issues that nobody can see and all of these emotions are pouring out of me I bring them to the life of you

It's only life This is the soundtrack to the life It's only life This is the soundtrack to my life The soundtrack to my life To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life

To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.