KFC Radio - Kevin Hart, Eric Stonestreet, and Feits vs YP

Episode Date: May 23, 2019

Kevin Hart is back to talk about busting his ass on the dance floor, how to stop a gorilla, and kissing your dog on the mouth. Eric Stonestreet also sits down with the guys to defend BBQ and Patrick Mahomes and ruins goat cheese for everyone. YP and Feits put Pornhub on the line for the Stanley Cup Final. VOICEMAILS: go to jail once a month, ten words or less, never jerked offYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

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And the sun can't stop us now. Watching it come and go, it's taking over you. All right. Monster episode today. Those are pretty big guests. They are the biggest of guests. You heard Patton Oswalt Patton Oswalt last episode That same day at the same time Oh we haven't done them yet

Correct Okay I know if it was going right into So we're trying something new We're going to lead in with the interviews But apparently not straight up We're going to do a little Well yeah no no

I just got a premise I knew you were a cold open guy I didn't know No cold open here. The same day that we did Patton Oswalt, we also sat down with Kevin Hart, the biggest celebrity on the planet, and Eric Stonestreet. You know him as Cam from Modern Family, the most enjoyable, likable celebrity on the planet.

So two sit-downs with them doing Secret Life of Pets 2. Let's get right into it. My man, Kevin Hart. I mean, at this point, we're buds, right're pals meet you kev i mean look you'll hear three best friends that anybody could have you'll hear it in the interview you'll hear it in his voice kevin hart either loves us or hates us one of them what do you do you gotta you gotta work on yourself son you're having a couple of like uh like self-image crises what do you mean you're like that's happening with like four different guests like i think they hate crises what do you mean you're like that's happening with like four

different guests like i think they hate us what are you talking about they loved us no kevin hart thinks we're idiots i don't think you'll hear it in his voice he absolutely thinks we're idiots okay and he thinks that you're a weirdo white person i dance well we don't need to do kevin hart is brought to you by postmates uh postmates is the number one way the only way to get your food and your groceries and anything you need in this world delivered right to you uh right now i i'm doing kfc radio as we speak i have radio right after that i have the rundown right after that i got no time to run out there for an hour-long lunch break if you're an adult right now working hard is that a thing still yeah that's what i mean nobody has Nobody's like, I'll be back in an hour, boss.

I'm going to go sit down at a restaurant and have a break. There's no lunch break. You just need to get food in your body so that you have fuel to go make the money. This country's so fucked up. It really is. We need some of that siesta type shit, right? She is, I'm saying. But as long as you live in this country, as long as you live in America, you need to get

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That's not pesos. That's not rubles. I'm talking American dollars. 100 of them off for the next seven days when you use the promo code kfc postmates go get it kevin hart talk to him eric stone street talk to him all right it's kfc radio once again featuring kevin hart uh we're here talking about the secret life of pets part two yes sir where you play snowball the rabbit yes sir now when you first see that you you don't get to play some badass animal and you got to

be a little bunny rabbit, what do you think about that? Are you method acting? Because I heard you were just eating lunch. You were eating veggie patties. Veggie patties, dude. Well, first of all, I'm a vegetarian now. Are you? Get the fuck out of here.

Yeah, it's been for like, I got about a good 14 days under my belt. 14 days under my belt. You know, when you get older, you got to start doing different stuff. Really? Yeah, man. That's how you stay excited about life. You got to just keep. You know, when you get older, you got to start doing different stuff. Really? Yeah, man. That's how you stay excited about life. You got to just keep changing.

Dude, I'll tell you what. You tell me every meal, I got to go eat a veggie patty. I don't know how excited I'm staying about life. Well, here's the thing. It's really, it's really

not just that. It's so much now because of how, how high level it's gotten with the options. Like, you know, you got to I think I live in L.A. So out there, you got so much.

That's another valuable point. You're trying to eat healthy when you're poor. It sucks. But you can eat, like, fake veggie food. You got those Impossible Burgers? I'll do the Beyond. I'm going to Beyond. But it's really good, though.

I mean, all of that plant-based stuff is just, it's another world. And I'm big on the health and wellness. Well, now you're getting older, so you got to stay healthy. Yeah, you got to. You saw what Tom Brady's continuing to do. What's he doing? Yeah, you know what he's doing. Tom Brady, what's he doing?

What's Tom Brady doing? I don't even know who that is. What is he doing? Tom Brady's winning the Super Bowl still. I mean, that was the first time we met at the Super Bowl. Great, you got that one, but we got the next. Yeah, well, we don't need to discuss that. What I'm saying-

What we do need to discuss is as you get older and you're trying to stay healthy, maybe stay away from the dance floor, bro. Well, no, no. You make a valuable point there as well. The real reason before I go and address the fall that the world probably wants to talk about. Look, man, take this health shit serious. People don't take it serious, man. I've been watching people drop like flies. Strokes, heart attacks,

you know. Blood level all over the place. I mean, this is a guy coming in and just leaning against the window. We're on, what, the 36th floor right now? That's more dangerous than a burger. Yeah, I didn't say the burgers were dangerous. I don't want to come off as the person

that's saying, here, man, y'all got to cut out the meat. No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying for me, I said, I'm just going to take my health and wellness up to another level. You do what you want. These heart attacks coming out here, I don't care what you do. Your stomach can look like a damn duffel bag.

That's what it does, man. That is fine. I am a firm supporter in letting people be happy. Fine. Your level of happiness. I'm just trying to live, man. I got you. I got you.

Now, as far as the dance floor goes. People don't know you. You're at a wedding. You busted your ass. I was at a wedding. We don't have to call it bust my ass. I mean, I've never seen someone bust their ass harder than you busted your ass. No, we didn't say I lost.

Grab and kick your ass. We didn't say I lost my footing. Let's just say, let's say that. You pulled a Zion, man. You blew your shoe out. Well, first of all, the dance move that I was doing is one that I'm very familiar with. It's the heel-toe hop. I've been doing it for years.

Heel-toe hop. Heel-toe hop is when you go from your heel to your toe, and then you hop. It's a Kevin Hart original. Is that your wedding go-to dance move? It's my dance move in general. I've been doing it for years. This dance move is my signature move okay so for me to fall doing a heel toe hop something something had to be off something had to be your fault no no way no way i'm falling

doing a heel toe hop and if you look at the video i got one arm behind my back which shows how confident i am with the heel toe hop because because I've been doing it for years. For me to lose my foot and then both feet fly up in the air the way they did, something had to be rigged. Can I, can I, I'll give you a safer dance move. Can I introduce you to a new one? What is it? You have to do the guitar leg. That's my dance move.

The what? The guitar leg. The guitar leg? That's my wedding dance move. It crushes. You get the leg up like this. No. No. It crushes. You get the leg up like this. No. No. Wait a second. No. No.

No. I don't think it gets whiter than that. I think that. Exactly that. If you are in front of the band, right, you are running. Oh, my God. I'll tell you what gets whiter than that. What just happened?

Falling down while dancing. No, no, no. As a black man, you should not be falling over. You are rightfully, you're correct. But I had defective shoes on. Both of my heels blew out. Both heels. Can't do a heel talk.

Both heels blew out. Both heels on my shoes blew out. Both heels is a different story. Both heels. My shoes were hard, hardwood flip-flops. If you look at these shoes, both of them flapping off in the back. Now, I'm not saying that Ferragamo needs to talk to me. I'm not saying that.

I'm not out here looking for a contract or looking to be signed. But Ferragamo, there's a way to correct this. Okay? There's a way to correct signed. But Ferragamo, there's a way to correct this. Okay? There's a way to correct this. Now, you guys can ignore this, or you guys can take advantage of a real opportunity here and seize

the moment and say, you know what, maybe we need Kevin Hart to be the face of our new dress shoe that gives you the security that you need to dance how you want. To do the heel toe hop. Because right now, Ferragamo and that pair of shoes that I had

on almost threw my back out. I almost goddamn lost my life. You know how fast their life flash before your eyes when you fall? You went down hard, man. No, no, listen. If you could have been in my head, I'd say, yep, here it goes. This is my nightmare. Here we go. I'm about to break. Just turn vegetarian forever and here I'd say, yep, here it goes. This is my nightmare.

Here we go. I'm about to break. Just turned vegetarian forever, and here I am breaking my neck on a dance floor. Just started eating 100% clean, and now I'm about to snap my collarbone. When I come down and my arm can't support my body weight, this is going bad. It's going to be bad. We do, on the podcast here, we uh do ridiculous hypothetical questions and often they're related to animals so since we're here talking about the secret life of pets part two out this weekend uh we got a question the other day if a gorilla escaped in new york city humans do not

have any weapons we just have ourselves here how long could this gorilla just like massacre the city before we slow it down and capture it? You don't have no weapons. Nothing. No weapons. You can't use a car to hit anything. You can't run it over. You can just use your hands and your brain, and we can team up somehow. I mean, you got to have a little insight on this with Jumanji, too.

So wait a minute. So you can use weapons, but you can create things. Sure. Like you want to booby trap them or whatever. Yeah. You are in Jumanji. There's a gorilla on the loose. Like, how do we stop it?

Yeah, it wouldn't last long then. Really? For a second, for a second, I was like, oh, no, we don't stay in the shack. But when you're like, no, we can collab and come up with some ideas. All you need is a bunch of nets to kind of like get real tricky to get out of. Honestly, we never thought of nets. We didn't. Nets.

We were under the impression. I was like, forever. This gorilla is going to live forever. You're going to rule the city. No, we never thought of Nets. I was like, forever. This gorilla's going to live forever. You're going to rule the city. We were thinking about planting. We were going to corner it under a building. We were going to throw air conditioners at it. You know,

it doesn't shock me that you guys thought that after seeing the guitar lady dance. Of course you didn't think about Nets. Of course you did not think about Nets. Of course you did not think about Nets. See, that's why we asked you, man. I knew there was a reason. The fact that you guys both said, ah, Nets.

Ah, shit. We thought about everything. We were going to dig a hole with a collapsing bridge. Yeah, we were going to have a collapsing bridge. We were going to run over the bridge, and then he was going to chase us, and he was going to fall into the hole. You guys are putting in six months of work for a problem that can be resolved. It's three hours of just getting 20 nets.

Let's just get 20 nets. Let's let it run in, and then we'll capture it and then wrap the nets all around. Don't do Kevin Hart. I was like, no. I was like, he'd get at least 200,000 people. No. Jesus. He's got a quarter of a million deaths.

Jesus. He'd run through Times Square just throwing punches. At what point does your brain not go, wait a second. Are we going too high with this right here? No. We got to dig a hole in the bridge. That's the only way. What? I legit said let's trap him outside and we'll drop an air conditioner out the window on his head.

That was my thought. Kill him with an air conditioner. Lure him into the subway and have the rats take care of him. The rats will do the job for you real quick. Nets. Everything. That was literally the first time I ever thought of nets when you said it. It's a great answer.

What would Snowball the rabbit do if he was faced with this task he's a superhero rabbit Snowball's a superhero so you can't talk to Snowball as if he's a regular individual he's a superhero so superheroes do super things

Snowball he would probably be able to go down there and give the gorilla an ultimatum this can end easy or it cannot. So I suggest you go put yourself back in that cage before I put you in it myself.

That's when a gorilla's got to make a decision because Snowball doesn't lie. He's not lying. You don't want that. Nobody wants that. You don't want that problem. I mean, he's not just. You don't want that. Nobody wants that. You don't want that problem. I mean, he's not just a bunny. He's an attitude. He's a feeling.

He's a passion. He's a mindset. I'm not a bunny. I'm an attitude. There you go. That's a hell of a tagline. Yo, that's a real one. That's a real one.

That scared me. And I said it. That scared the shit out of me. Last question. Do you have any pets? I have two dogs. You kiss them? What do question do you have any pets? I have two dogs you kiss them? what do you mean do I kiss them?

you kiss your dogs let them lick you on the lips I don't understand how that makes sense what are you talking about? you don't kiss your dogs? once again I'm confused I'm not even messing with you right now you don't kiss your dogs?

you should be there's no shot at me kissing a dog come on how do you show affection then? See, we're wiping it. I'm not even messing with you right now. You don't kiss your dog? You should be. There's no shot at me kissing a dog. Come on. How do you show affection then? How do you show them affection? By calling his name, patting his back, giving him a hug. Dog can lay on the floor next to you when you sit down.

Dog can basically get up under your feet when you lay on the couch and just let your feet hang from. There's actually a lot of ways. There's a lot of ways. You're doing a good job like with the nets. You're selling me. What are your pets' names? Roxy and Riggs. So Roxy and Riggs come home. You get home. Roxy and Riggs are so excited to come see you and they start looking at your face. You're not like, they don't look at my face because you say no. Don't do that.

You're a trained dog. I was a very trained dog. My dog Roxy jumps up and she wants to stand up. I give her a hug. I pat face because you say no don't do that you're a trained dog because you're a dog very true yeah my dog roxy jumps up and she wants to stand up i give her a hug i pat her side she loves it um you know as far as licking a dog in the mouth or letting the dog lick you in the mouth i've personally seen my dog lick her ass i've watched her for 10 plus minutes just lick lick ass. I've watched her for 10 plus minutes. Just lick ass. I've seen Riggs.

I've seen my small dog. I've seen Riggs lick his shit at least three times. At least. Like outside, there's a place where they're pooped. There's like their little station and it gets cleaned up. But there was a couple of pizza dogs out there and I saw him sniffing around. He got this pizza. And I said, he is eating shit. He's about to eat his shit.

Now after seeing that, I'll be damned if I let these dogs lick me in any way, shape or form. So if you tell me that you have kissed your dogs... Oh, countless times. I mean, he, like, full-on makes out with them. Like, it's his tongue in the dog's mouth. Well, that's... First of all, that's your bottle of water.

You need to put your fucking... You need to goddamn write your name on that top. Your initials. I mean, I love my dogs, man. They want to kiss me, I'll give them back. I don't actually tick my tongue, but they want to kiss me. I'm going to lick my face like that. What kind of dogs?

Golden Doodles. Oh, they're shit eaters. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. I assure you, my dogs have never eaten their breakfast. What? They don't eat it. They don't chew it, but they'll go smell it.

They'll lick it a little bit. You never seen your dog lick their ass? Oh, their ass? Yeah, sure. And that don't? That doesn't bother you? No, man. You look a little ass.

Whatever. Come on. You and me both, Maisie. Come on. This is tough. This is tough, man. All right, man. The movie is out this weekend, Secret Life of Pets 2.

By the way, last time we spoke to you, you mentioned how every single project you do, you drop $100 million on it, and The Upside did just that. So, man, you're fucking worried. Huge, man. Great movie. Thanks to all of them to go support it. And you did the damn thing again. So I'm sure it'll happen with Secret Life of Pets 2.

Out this weekend in theaters. Go check it out. Hey, man. Always a pleasure talking to you guys, man. You get funnier and funnier every time. Thank you very much. You keep that mic. I don't want to talk in those mics.

I'll see you later. All right, next up is Eric Stonestreet. You know him as Cam from Modern Family. Big thanks to Kevin Hart once again. Thanks for lying and saying we get funnier. That was nice. That was nice. And you know what the thing about Kevin Hart is?

Either now he's gotten to know us and it's genuine, unlikely, but possible, or he's just a very charming guy, and he's being very polite, and he knows what to say to people to make them feel good about themselves. And he knows that the way to our hearts is to say that we're doing a good job and that we're getting funnier. Look, no one's ever said that. No one's ever said it. I've never had a person of power say that to me.

So it's nice to have, like, hey, by the way a person of power say that to me. So it's nice to have like, Hey, by the way, you're going to do it really well. Especially like on some level, you have to think a guy that successful wouldn't, you know, if we totally sucked, he wouldn't say that.

I guarantee some level of it is genuine. I bet. Maybe you just weren't that funny first time. Yeah, maybe as long as we're trending upwards, who cares? I bet that he may have said that one. He probably did what?

30, 40 interviews that day. But I bet he may have said it one. He probably did, what, 30, 40 interviews that day, I bet. I bet he may have said it one at a time. Right. So even if you're lying, like, we're one of the few you're lying to. Yeah. You were like, okay, this is worth my one lie. Correct.

Yes. You have a quota of lies, and he used it on us. But as far as, like, barcelogle.com slash KFC, if you don't have it, you have to get it just for that interview. You can cancel that for this. I don't care. You should, you got to see the faces Kevin had during the interview. One, when I was explaining the dance to him, and two, maybe more importantly, he was very grossed out by my dance.

But more importantly than that – He didn't even comprehend the dog thing. They didn't know what I was talking about. No. He gave me, at one point, a genuine Kevin Hart in a movie reaction. Like, what? What are you talking about? You kissed your dog.

They don't even understand what mayonnaise is and what dog kisses are. They just do not even get it. The king of physical comedy, he put it on display right there. I was like, oh, I get it. I get why people are laughing at your movies. All right, so let's talk to Cam now, or Eric Stone Street. You know him as Cam from Modern Family. One of, I've heard so many

good things about him, and all of it was proven true. It was, and it was, and this is another thing we're getting to say, or I think I say it after we do this. We're recording this episode pretty out of order in different things. I think I'm about to say this, but these guys, and like, they came in kind of like, ah, here we go, and and i mean cam was obsessed with us we do talk about this so

on to the interview now okay 12 minutes it is i'll tell you what we might say some things on here that you're not gonna like oh shit watch out you know uh well yeah it's it's it's a lot Watch out. Is it sports related? Well, yeah. It might be. It's a lot of Kansas stuff. Okay. Are either of you from there? Nope. No, no, no. Okay.

I like the tone of this already. It's KFC Radio featuring Eric Stonestreet here. We're talking about Secret Life of Pets 2. Always good when you get the 2, right? I mean, I feel like that's... It's always the goal. Right. Well, not always the goal, but with something like this, I mean, you want to be...

Well, with animation, the goal is two. Yeah, you're trying to get two houses. That's four. Three houses. That's five. It's like LeBron. Not four. Not five.

Not six. Not seven. Yeah. So the question we have here is, what is the biggest, fiercest animal you think you could take in a fight? And if you lose that fight, a gorilla just gets a one shot in your face without any sort of oh gosh protection so you can't just get cocky with it you gotta give me a real answer or this gorilla's gonna kill you and again i want to i want to emphasize this is

hypothetical hypothetical yes bring out the gorilla so the fiercest animal i think i could take um you know i've thought about this when i've been walking my dog before actually of like what i would do if another dog attacked me and i've gone through how i would body slam another dog and crush its skull on the concrete like so i would guess i would guess some sort of canine because i have i do have rage like i i like that i have rushes of adrenaline where i you know as men when you're walking with your ladies or something like that do you ever feel that moment where you're walking towards somebody that doesn't feel right and you think like okay it's going down i'm gonna forearm shiver this guy to his throat if i have if this thing goes crazy

right do you ever feel like i'll trip her and i run oh yeah i put her in front over here but no there is that there is that feeling that i have every once in a while which maybe makes me dangerous yeah like as maybe i should be incarcerated have you ever found yeah you should definitely institutionalize it sounds like you walk around with intense amounts of rage i'm just prepared i'm i'm actively prepared have you ever found yourself in this in a situation where you needed to act on it? As a younger man. Now I would probably call, just call for the police. I'm 47 and, you know, not what I used to be.

Yeah, I'm good now. But I still fantasize about it. But I have a friend whose dad, he's 80-something years old, and he said one day, he goes, you know, before I go, I just want to knock one more guy out. Knock one more guy. Yeah, that's great. That's such a – I just want to knock one more guy out. That's great. I just want to knock one out. Not one more, but shout out to him.

I just want to knock one more guy out. How great is that? So I think the canine is my answer. I think nothing bigger than a dog. All right, so Eric's a dog killer. We'll put that, run that for the press. I have to defend myself. He said he wants to crush his skull.

Go see Secret Life of Pets. Go see Secret Life of Pets. Take care. Run that for the press. I have to defend myself. He said he wants to crush his skull. Go see Secret Life of Pets. Go see Secret Life of Pets. Take care. And somehow now I'm not in the first or second one. They've taken me out of both. Obviously, you've had a great, tremendous amount of success with Modern Family as well. Tremendous.

And I feel like. Tremendous amount of success. Tremendous. Not hypothetically. Obnoxious. At this point not hypothetically obnoxious. Yeah. At this point, it's obnoxious. The show and,

and yourself individually. I feel like you still don't get enough credit for what you do. Do you think, do you think you're the most underrated actor in America? Oh, that's, I thought you guys said I wasn't going to like, Oh no,

don't worry. We'll get to that. We're bettering you up for it. It'll tear you down. This is America. Good professionals. They don't let anybody on KFC. you know, just given the character, you know, you're a straight guy and you play a gay guy.

You seem to have this whole persona that I think people are so surprised when they find out. Yeah, they think it's fake. They think this is fake. What percentage of America do you think thinks you're homosexual? I would say that whatever the percentage of america watches modern family i would say you know 40 to 50 percent of that population probably just assumes i'm always surprised by like when i post something on instagram or whatever that references a girlfriend or whatever that people that weigh in and say what mind blown or whatever you just remember when i

saw you i saw you i think the first time it popped for me was i saw you in bad teacher oh i thought you were gonna say i saw you and your girlfriend making love in the park one time. And I was like, wow, that guy is totally strange. I was the guy that protected the dog. I was like, no, no, no, no. Get off him. That's just not for dogs. I was like, oh, he's a great actor.

He's kind of playing the grizzled guy. And that's when I finally, that was probably like, I feel like that was maybe – there's a little Aftermourn fantasy. Yeah, that was like the first thing somebody asked me to do off the heels of being – getting known for something. So that was – but then again, like I'm sensitive to how fans think of things. Like they got to know me playing Cam and then all of a sudden I'm playing this grizzled guy and they're like okay the lady death protests too much like we get it right you know or whatever but i think a lot of good actors and there's a lot of people that could play my part on modern family and be really successful at it so i don't think i'm like necessarily underrated i do feel people would be surprised and are surprised with my personal life versus what cam's life is but the goal with

cam was to also cross that over and show that gay guys can love football just as much as straight guys that grew up on a farm and did all this and do all that and you know so i love that aspect about it do you think there's anything to the uh like it's happening right now with rocket man where like um the the lgbtq community is saying that darren edgerton isn't gay so he shouldn't be playing elton john and elton john himself just that cans just came out and said well i'm just gonna let elton john's yeah statement speak for itself he's freaking elton john so that should just be like controversy put to bed should be the end of discussion on yeah i think i think his exact quote was shut the fuck up yeah it was he didn't even mince words you just answered my question which was i wonder if i can cuss on this podcast oh yeah whatever the fuck you like awesome uh yeah

i mean i i can understand maybe certain instances where if if they did it out of like maliciousness or malice fine but you know it's acting and yeah it has to be uh you know i i'm i'm thankful i got the part that when i got it because you know I think there is a movement to sort of change actors just getting cast based on their ability. And it's a subjective thing. You walk into an audition. I've been told I'm too everything or not enough of everything to get a part. So Hollywood is a tough business for everyone when you walk into the room and you don't get things for tremendous amounts of reasons and i just hope that your sexual orientation either way never becomes a reason why you shouldn't have the opportunity to be cast and now with the way

the internet can just you know react and sweeping general that's gonna happen though and you just hope that you know everybody that's playing someone unique and different to whom they are plays it with as much heart and honesty as they can just as if i was going to play a person who murdered someone i personally never killed anyone allegedly yet at least but i would try my best to if the part for it to make to make that person a human, right? Right. It doesn't mean I think you have to experience everything that person experienced to be able to bring a heart and soul and, you know, spirit to the character.

Last time I got caught up in the internet, as far as, you know, crazy outrage, I spoke about one of my food preferences. Oh gosh. I'm very, I love, are you picky? Please tell me. Well, I'm not picky, but I don't like and I don't understand the hype around barbecue food. Oh, that's where we're going?

Yeah, that's where we're going. That's what it's going to be. Well, where are you assholes from? And see, that's my point. I am in New York. I am born and bred in New York. So I understand that when I go to a place like Kansas City or Texas or one of these spots that is the best of the best.

You like cheese? It'll be better. I like cheese. I like cheese. Well, good barbecue and good smoked food is not a lot different than the art of making cheese because it takes practice. There's a process that you have to go through. Now, if you don't like the taste of smoked food. That's what it is.

Yeah, I have no issue. I have no issue with that. So you're a rational person here. I mean, the amount of people who just wouldn't accept that as an answer. No, but you do. I also have to start from a very basic level because I have to assume you're very basic. No, is that there's a there's a big difference between barbecue and grilling. Grilling is hamburgers and hot dogs and chicken breasts maybe or something like that on the grill.

Hot flames, charcoal, put it on a bun, eat it, done. That's grilling. Barbecue is a brisket in an oven for 14 hours or in a smoker for 14 hours, a pork shoulder in an oven, barbecue for 20 hours, whatever it is. Yeah, but the salt.

That's I think even more so than the smoke. The salt is what gets me. I can't do the salt. this well they're not doing it right have you been to good places i think so i've never been to kansas but i've been i've done the nashville i've done austin i've done a couple of the places where they tell you by the way the the hot barbecue spots brooklyn now yeah i've seen that on the internet there really is a great there really is a great cook over there in brooklyn i can't think of his name right now he's a big dude red, redheaded guy, owns a restaurant over there that my friend Adam Perry Lang has good pals with, and he does the real deal. But, you know, okay.

We got to draw the line. But I don't eat goat cheese. Oh, I love goat cheese. Yeah, fuck you. I mean, honestly, like, see, and I could talk you out of goat cheese. No fucking shot. No, you can't. I mean, literally, no.

Go. Proceed. Where are we on time? Because this could take like three extra minutes. Okay, so let me just walk you through this. Uh-huh. I grew up on a farm with pigs and cows, right? My mom decided she wanted goats.

My dad, being a good guy, says, you know what? I love my wife. I'm going to get her some goats. So we get goats. Then all of a sudden, you get the goats at the the house and you're like, these goats are really cute. My mom says that. So we get more goats. Then we're like, well, let's get a billy goat and start breeding goats. So we get a billy goat and start breeding goats. Now what you have to understand about billy goats is this. They're very excitable animals. And when I say excitable,

they ejaculate a lot. Okay. You will be able to talk me out of this yeah i'm still going no i have a feeling where it's going i'm still not so now here's the deal when you eat beef you don't smell cows when you eat pork you don't smell pigs but when you never mind interviews over but goats and sheep have a very distinct smell goats moreats more specifically than sheep. Goats have a very distinct smell and it contributed by they urinate, they poop, and they ejaculate a lot. So now when you eat goat cheese, the next time

you eat goat cheese, I just want you to understand you are eating something that tastes exactly like goat ejaculate smells. So enjoy your goat cheese pizza. Enjoy your beet and goat cheese salad enjoy your roasted deep fried goat and blah blah blah you make it right so i'm just eating goat cum is what you're telling me well you're not eating that you're eating its milk but it smells exactly like goats smell okay so you almost had me puking there.

But I think I'm still going to eat my goat cheese pizza. Well, here's what I know for sure. The next time you eat your goat cheese pizza, you're going to think of me. Absolutely. A hundred percent. The rest of the time I eat goat cheese the rest of my life, I'm going to think of Eric Stone Street. You see that face and goat. I just love that the goat farmers of America right now are like, get him off the air!

Fuck you! Alright, we thank you very much. Last question. End on something other than for Universal and Secret Life of Pets. Let's end on something other than this. Patrick Mahomes, how many more times is he going to lose to Tom Brady? I thought you said you were from new york i'm from boston he's from new york i knew i knew i hated you what a jerk but

you know what i think there's potentially one more time and then i think uh i mean you have to agree my homes is a real deal oh yes absolutely but you've had your fun i met belichick at the white house correspondence dinner couldn't have been a cooler guy. Yeah, he's awesome. I mean, listen, here's the deal. I've gotten shit from Boston fans or Patriots fans because I spoke up for my chiefs or whatever. You guys are very sensitive for being winners. So fucking soft.

Because when you're a winner, when you're at the top for 20 years, everyone's always trying to tear you down. Yeah, and what have you done to contribute to that? I'm sorry? What have you done personally to contribute to those things? Me? Yeah, exactly. That's always my favorite thing is when you run into these, the saw blades of these super fans, it's like,

there's no bigger fan of Kansas City Chiefs than I am. But I don't feel personally like I've done anything to help other than go. John went to jail for the Patriots. I did go to jail. Did you really? Yeah. When Brady got arrested, when Brady got suspended for deflating, me and a few of my coworkers handcuffed ourselves inside NFL headquarters

and got arrested. That's awesome. I'll shake your hand on that. Thank you very much. No Patriots in there. I know. Normally that argument is very sound. Not with this son of a bitch.

Yeah, that's awesome. Well, I wish I would talk to you guys for a lot longer. Come on back next time, man. Thank you very much. Thank you so much. Zeke Leif Pets 2, May 29th. Go Chiefs! Thank you so much.

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get your hair, right. Everything you need to be a man, get roman.com slash KFC. So you don't think that Kevin Hart thinks you're an idiot. No, that doesn't mean you don't like somebody. I think he has fun talking to us.

Yeah. Yeah. But it's because we're idiots. I mean, it's our brand. I think I think that we're the two idiots. I don't I don't think that's our brand. Yeah, I think it is. When you think about it, I don't think we're idiots.

I think we're idiots on this show. I don't think we're idiots on the show. Oh, I think I'm an idiot in real life. I don't think we're an idiot on the show. I think I think we're pretty smart the show oh i think i'm an idiot in real life i don't think we're gonna be on the show oh really i think we're pretty smart on this show you think so yeah oh i i you think we're uh like intellectual uh no i mean i'm not fucking reading the dictionary here but i don't know advice i i think we're usually giving pretty good advice yeah there's an interesting thought i mean do you think we're getting bad like i'm not giving bad advice well i think that we're giving advice that comes from our hearts and our minds and our lives. And if you look at our lives, they're bad.

I think that we I don't give advice that comes from my life. I give advice I know I should do in my life. I don't particularly do it, but I know it's what should be done. Right. But I think anytime we're giving our own like, well, here's what my experience is. Yeah. It's usually like a funny story. And it's like, so do the opposite.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I guess in that sense, you know, do as I say, not as I do. We're brilliant. Right. Geniuses can't follow through that on ourselves. But now. But I mean, I just idiot idiot's not the right word. Because I'll tell you why I'm not letting you call us idiots.

Because I'm flying high right now. How are you? I'm feeling good. Because I love when we do the, you know, you just listen to the Kevin Hart and Eric Stonestreet. You're at Patton Oswalt on Tuesday. I fly very high after we do interviews like that. Because we do it in, I don't know if you saw the pictures and stuff but we do it at like it's like a press junket where we know that doesn't happen very often yeah

if you don't know what press junket is it's basically when when people are promoting a movie you get all the same people from the movie show from the movie starts in the show the movie whatever it is all in one place at a place like a hotel or a convention center or whatever and all the media outlets come to you and you just kind of car wash it and rattle through them but a lot of those places are lame and boring right so like you see it you see it with i i sometimes i just think like we're like because because of what we're surrounded by which is a bunch of us i always think it's like oh it's tough to differentiate and then when you see what everyone else is it's like oh we're super different because every time by a number every single one of those people who came in except paton actually Patton came in happy but the other

two Kevin and Eric came in kind of not like angry off-putting but just like all right here we go again that meme like ah shit here it goes back at work yeah like time to do the fucking you know time to talk about a cartoon character again and when all of them left like they're all all three of their PR people were like dragging them away all three of them were, like, all three of their PR people were, like, dragging them away. All three of them were like, I wish I could just stay and talk to you guys, man. Yeah, Eric Stonestreet, he did, like,

he walked to the door, and then he walked back to us, and he was walking, like, with his head over his shoulder. Come on, let's go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's, it realized how much different we are

than all the other media outlets. That is my barometer of a good interview. I don't know about, you know, whether it's, like, the, who knows what's actually said of a good interview i don't know about you know whether it's like the uh who knows what what's actually said you know i don't know if we're gonna go viral or i don't know if we said if we he delivered a soundbite that is like a home run but when we end an interview and you can tell that someone's like i wish that was going on longer or like i like they they continue to talk to us when the cameras weren't rolling that to me is a successful interview kevin did that was when patent came in kevin was like

what was he saying he's like pat and don't do usually your usual shit man give a good fucking interview yeah these are good guys man these are fucking funny guys i was like all right those i don't i don't fly high a lot i got probably about 15 minutes left of this buzz but i'm while i'm on it i'm a fucking ride this yo it's it's like i don't i don't know how to i don't know what to do with with with confident john with happy john it's like interesting yeah it's it's it's like a bizarro world it's very weird yeah i'm not comfortable with it either just no let's let's let's get into some voicemails to talk about some depression is he coming he said he was he said two minutes it's been 20 minutes here you're pause real quick?

All right, we'll get that idiot YP in here in a minute. But speaking of confidence. He has none. He has none. I have. He might put on a little bit. I got interrupted this morning coming into the office. He's like, I'm not worried.

That sounds like someone is. I'm going to go about my Wednesday and not even address you. If you have to stop me as I walk to my desk, tell me how not worried you are. I don't know. Seems like you might be a little worried. Probably and rightfully so. But here's the thing. You either have to just be straight up honest and be like, you know, it's David versus Goliath here.

It's the Blues who have never been in it versus Titletown. I mean, it's a city that we own as well. Well, that's the thing. Even his like, well, yeah, maybe Boston has beaten St. Louis a lot in the past, but you haven't beaten Boris yet. It's like,

well, I don't know. I just wouldn't even acknowledge the fact that you've been smoked like five championships in a row. Yeah. There he is. There's that fat ass floppy dick. St.

Louis hero. Stop flopping. You stop having a floppy dick. I can flop my dick You stop having a floppy dick I can flop my dick Without it being a floppy dick That's not true I mean all dicks are floppy Yeah

It's just we're Using the adjective for you You're not doing headphones You're not doing headphones I kind of like the headphones It makes you sound cool Then you do you babe How

Are you all fucking yipped up right now How you still going You haven't slept in like 24 hours I'm not yipped up dude also anyways i got weird shit last night clinching like nights like that on like a big night for the city a lot of weird people out there i bet you saying that made me think of some weird shit like there was this crazy chick trying to like get in my friend's car and was like like weird stuff yeah the freaks come out man it's a full moon stanley cup you got chinchillas floppy dicks like anything's possible right now in st louis i don't know a floppy dick sounds like

some sort of limp dick it looks a little floppy next time have a boner and prove it have a fucking rigid dick uh i'm surprised you haven't had one yet i feel like uh i feel like you you should be hard after you know what's funny and i as an outsider watching this like and i know you've mentioned this john and this is why you maybe are slight like not the reason you're taking the blues seriously is like they have the story they have the song they have boris and watching them win that game that in hindsight was like so absolutely inevitable. I was like, yeah, that like the blues were absolutely winning that game. Yeah. They were, you know, how it is like with a Mets type of thing.

We're like, and I'm not equating them to that, but like a thing where stuff always goes wrong. Yeah. When it was two to nothing. Right. I was like, Oh my God, this is hat. Like, you know what I mean? Like you can't not think that.

I was like, Oh my God. It was crazy too. And I know you feel this. I always go to the game with my dad. Right. We have two tickets. Like was like, oh, my God. It was crazy, too, and I know you feel this. I always go to the game with my dad, right? We have two tickets. Like, my dad, they love going to games. They go to two tickets. It's either me and my dad or my dad and my mom.

But last night, I got there. I got, like, this press pass. Some stoolie gave me, like, a media thing. Guy's just, what a move. Like, I just walked in the building for free. Like, those tickets were, like, 800 bucks for those seats. So I went to go put my stuff underneath, like, the seats because I had all my bags. Like, I went straight from the airport to there.

And my dad was like, hey, I'm going to go sit with my boys, like, for men's league, whatever. And I got to watch the game with my mom for the first time. And, like, you know how – it's, like, different. Like, I know your mom's like that, too. And it was like – I watched the Bruins – not the clincher, game two with my mom. And she's not like that. She had the binoculars out.

She had binoculars. They were on the glass. She had binoculars out. We were probably about 10 rows back. She had glass. She just wanted to check everyone's skates, I guess. But the one thing she said, because it was Mother's Day, the game, game two was. And so we're going to the game and she goes,

just don't ask me to cheer. I don't cheer. I don't do cheering. I had the other problem, dude. Like my mom was talking too much and I was like, mom, I'm going to lose my mom. That's tough. She's asking questions and she's like not making sense.

I mean, she's intense. She just wanted them to win. But at some point I'm like, yo, I'm going to put my head through the wall I went up to my dad and I said I'm like I can't sit with mom he was like what? I was like I can't sit with her and then finally I went back I talked to her I said mom it's a big moment

and we need to just be on the same page I was like can we talk and we got on the same page and it was beautiful you had that conversation with her that's very funny I know you like to watch it this way and I like to watch it this way We got on the same page and it was beautiful. You had that conversation with her. That's very funny. I know you like to watch it this way and I like to watch it this way. Like sometimes, dude, if it's not like a big moment or something, a lot of times I'm just like silent, like staring.

I like to like watch, you know what I'm saying? I'm not like a talk through the whole thing. No one likes that person. Yeah, and I was like, come on, like whatever. But anyway, it was just a beautiful moment, man. It's like, you know, so many years in the making. And, like, I was, like, hugging my mom. It's like, those are things that you can't really, like, replicate. No, no.

I mean, these are quite literally, with the St. Louis Blues and the Stanley Cup, maybe a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Certainly is up until this point. I wasn't going to go yesterday. And shout-out to John Andrew Fowler for telling me to go. Like, that is one thing I really do appreciate. Thank you for that. Well, I appreciate you not asking me a thousand times ever again.

Yeah, he said he was like, if you ask me again, I'm going to punch you. He's like, should I go? Should I go? Well, now the pleasantries are over, boys. You guys are facing each other. And I heard YP on the radio earlier. Some guy called up and was like, I bet you 50 bucks on the series. That's the full answer.

He had all those tweets all the time. I bet you 100 bucks. Well, YP said, shut the fuck up, you stranger. You don't want to be mean or in this. I do. I don't want to, like, knock on wood because I guess it's in between series. It's less like people are always like, yo, dude, I got the blues in my parlay. Minus 1.5, like, pull for him.

Like, I don't literally couldn't care if your fucking, like, computer goes on fire. I don't give a fuck about your $20 bet. This is, like, $50,000 bet. I don't care. Like, the stakes could not possibly be any higher. I don't need your 50 bucks. I got Boris. I got my team.

It's my hometown. It's Barstool. Like, the stakes could not get any higher. But I think I have something to spice up the pot here see i don't know about this it's just i'm gonna make a wager for you gentlemen you can decide whether you want in or not uh winner winner gets the pornhub premium account you can change the password you can change the password and the loser is locked out of Pornhub premium. The only thing I could think that would raise the stakes for you too,

is the Pornhub. Someone, someone sent one of the, someone sent me a, a bet we should make. And I was like, I was like, that's too much. I wouldn't even ask YP to do that.

And let me see if I can put up. I think it was last night. If we're talking about effect on daily life, that's the greatest of all. That's the highest. That sucks for a period of time, and you're mad at yourself, but it's probably not going to factor that much in.

You know what you would do if you lost 200 bucks and you're upset? You'd go on Pornhub Premium. Someone tweeted last night, this is from Patrick Cronin. He said, you and YP should make a bet where if the Blues win, you have to make a Gloria video like his. If the Bruins

win, he has to get one of your notebook thoughts tattooed on him. I'll be honest, he's risking way more than me. I wouldn't even ask him to do it. Those notes get weird. You do a one-minute video, you're going to get a lifetime ink. No, Pornhub premiums on the line.

You have to. Come on. I'm going to have to premiums on the line. You have to. Come on. I'll do it. I'm going to have to go back to the days of Thumbzilla. Just win, bro. Just win. Yeah, that would be the sweetest. The first few seconds. The final verse locked out.

Send you screenshots. The problem is, it's almost like Cruel and Unusual where I would probably just still give cruel and unusual where I would like, probably just still give John the password. I was like, damn, I wouldn't want someone.

You're an honorable man. You are. Withdrawals of having to go back to SD standard death. I mean, that's, I could see YP like game seven of the cup. He's looking at Boris like, dude,

we need this one. Okay. Porn up premiums on the line. We need this game. YP won't have You yeah YP won't be with Boris because it has already been Established that

You're on the tech chain last night we are going To all the games yeah and maybe Honestly I didn't look at any in the moment I was like oh you'll be at every single game Is a tech chain with me you Dave and Riggs We are going to all the games In full uniform Who said that Dave Portnoy going to all the games in full uniform.

Who said that? Dave Portnoy. Wait, you need to go in your uniform. Yeah. That, that, that, that's, I mean, he's got a whole look going right now. You can talk to your boss then. And here we go. See now, see now, YZ. This is the first time you're going to rail against Dave Portnoy.

We established this on the rundown, dude. You were, you're a little bit conflict of interest here. You have a look. You got the blue hat, the blue shirt, these, like, bathing suit, whatever, the jacket. You need to rep those colors and that outfit for the city of St. Louis. And if your boss comes to you and says, like, no, we did an ad deal where you have to wear, like, a blues uniform,

you need to say, fuck you. I mean, I'll just get right like whatever it is like we can do a uniform whatever but like or i'll wear rollerblades or whatever we're gonna do pads like i don't know whatever it is like it's tough because a there's no one i really trust more than dave as far as like content funny shit like he's got a pretty fucking good track funny shit but it's also like hey dude this has like been my outfit for every game this is the first time in 49 years yeah but guess what he He's not going to care. Yeah, I mean. He's going to be like, you're out of your

if you think you're going to wear that to game one, game two, game three, game four, you're out of your fucking mind. Don't let him in your head, bro. He's already winning. That's the thing is like, it's also like war where I feel like if there's a time where I can be like, no, it's not. Yeah. Yeah. YP. YP.

I can't wait for this to come back. I'll tell you what, there's a 0% chance you're wearing that. And it's not, and it's not my say, but there's a 0% chance you're wearing that. Don't let him do this, YP. He's burrowing into your brain. I'm not, I'm, I'm just, I am, I am the person who knows Dave Portnoy's brain. I think the best. I think I would put my knowledge of the inside inner workings of dave portnoy up there against anybody yp you are not wearing that to the game

he said i think i don't know that's just you and him rigs didn't say it we'll talk about this okay either way i mean it's like something that was that wasn't just his first time mentioning it we talked about like three or four times right and And when they did the Blackhawks-Bruins 2011, it was like one of the biggest things ever. They were on the Jumbotron. They were on TSN. They were on all over the place. But I'm saying that's why you need to be like,

you guys can do your cute thing. I have my staff. Yeah, he's going to be in the building. Yeah, I don't know about Austin, but I know for a fact he'll be at St. Louis. That's going to be dope. You're going to be in the stadium with him? Like in your seat with him? Yes. Wow.'t know about Austin, but I know for a fact he'll be at St. Louis. That's dope. You're going to be in the stadium with him? Like in your seat with him?

Yes. Wow. I don't know. How are you going to get him there? I'm either going to fly him or drive him there on that Friday. But you have to have

48 hours of advance. That's why I couldn't do it yesterday. I was calling them and they're like only cats and dogs because I got one schoolgirl who wrote me

an emotional support thing. Yeah. Yeah. But honestly, but honestly, is he not? I mean, I mean, but honestly, but honestly, is he not? I mean,

he is. Yeah. No emotional support for you and for the entire goddamn city of St. Louis. He is more so than like a seeing eye dog. He's more important than actual dogs. So does it concern you that like you're playing an animal now? Like you're playing an animal that that's true.

That's true. you're like a bro like a bear yeah i mean like yp spent his life tormenting animals and is it false stirring them how is it how is it false you're i mean you're a catch and release guy but like when you catch fish they'd rather not be caught they do you do put a hook through their mouth yeah you're tormenting them i get trolled is because i take things too literally. Like, John's my friend, and the reason why this sucks is because, like, now I just hate you so much. I mean, I'm just, what am I saying that's not factual? Like, I know that it's a joke. I know it's like, boss, I actually just hate you.

I'm talking about, like, oh, Gaz, we're going to fucking steal your red. Gaz, you think I value your life? I don't. Does anyone care if we kill Gaz. If he, like, killed my chinchilla, I would literally murder him. And would anyone care? See, but that speaks to your experience with animals in your life. Because I don't think Gaz ever said he was going to kill your chinchilla.

I wasn't standing there. Before you were there, he did. Everybody, go to barstoolgold.com slash KFC. You need to watch this because the the smirks and the tension and the anger in the room and you need to see the full experience here it's great too like um when we had the rundown right another day my first rundown not a big deal but anyway for that but um afterwards like riggs was like oh i'm worried about you uh with them like they were in robbie's like oh were like Riling you up Bro I love this shit

Like this I'm not I'm very aware That they're trying to fuck with me That's also like Just how it goes I love talking shit It's not like I'm not

If I really was like Bothered I would just not talk to them Right It's not funny And that's not like You're ready for the battle though You're ready for the war

Poly playoffs Davey hockey On some real shit Like I've been reading Kevin Clancy, Feidelberg, like, gas,

fucking know who Stool Sales guy is, Dave Portnoy, my entire life. Bro, there's no greater thing than to go to war with you right now.

It's literally like, it's like growing up playing like, if you're like a kid now, like playing in the final against LeBron. You know what I mean? I'm ready.

It's Iverson playing Jordan when he first came in the league And crossed them up It's my favorite thing of all time And I tell you what There's no higher stakes If we win the series You will never hear the end of it

You can look me in the eyes And know that Okay Number two That's what the Eagles fans said too I haven't heard a peep from them in a while I don't give a fuck about the Eagles fans I don't speak for them

I didn't say you're speaking for them I just said that's what they said I'm going to get stuffed heads of you and put them on the wall And forever just remember That's going to be my favorite thing I'm going to get a chinchilla coat Hopefully it's not over Again that's your experience with animals

That's where your brain went I'm just wondering what the threat was Just said I'm getting a chinchilla coat. I didn't say anything else. I just fucking did. If I survive that. No, you won't. But the thing is, it's awesome.

And you know what's actually the coolest thing, too, is like, I was there last night, obviously, which is surreal, like, legitimately. I should tell you that story, but the city is like a hornet's nest right now. Every single person, dude, they're waiting for you, John Henry. I can't wait. I'm looking forward to it.

Before you go, I'm going to ask you again now, would you sacrifice your team partner uniform for a Stanley Cup final? And my answer is that obviously a Stanley Cup final means more to me than anything in the world, and I don't think that it will have any effect on, like, I don't think that, like, that's a dumb question. That's not, like, an accurate question. Okay, I'll make it a little more literal then. If God came down from the heavens and said, Ben, give me that team Portnoy jacket. No, it's a hypothetical, Ben.

We do hypotheticals here on KFC Radio. Hypothetically speaking. Dave Portnoy. Like, because here's the thing, and I know it's like hypothetical Ben We do Hypotheticals here on KFC Radio Hypothetically speaking Like because Here's the thing And I know it's like Breaking the fourth wall If I fucking answer the question Then Dave's gonna kill me And if I don't

So that's So that's So that's answering the question That's fine You just answer the question Literally gun to your head Team Portnoy You'll see when we go to St. Louis

Team Portnoy or Stanley I'm asking now I'll see how we go to St. Louis Team Portnoy or Stanley Cup I'm asking now I'll ask what, game three? I'll find out game three I'll find out before the series starts I've said a million times The city of St. Louis means more to me than anything All of my family

So it means more to you than it means to Team Portnoy does Say you would give up Team Portnoy That's not the situation I love David, I'm very grateful for everything Everything that he provides me And I also can want to win a Stanley Cup That's not They're not mutually exclusive

But I'm asking if they were But they're not But they might be And if the situation arises That it's like game seven It's like a Like a lawyer or something Trying to get the defendant tripped up

Like I'm not going for it You went for it You answered the question You didn't By went for it. You answered the question. You didn't answer the question. You answered the question. Team Portnoy is more important. You're allowed to, but it implies. No, if you refuse to smite Dave Portnoy.

I know that Dave is all about loyalty, and I'm not going to ever say anything against him, but I also, he knows that. What about loyalty to St. Louis? To the big rig? To Boris? This is a dumb thing. Everyone knows the truth. And... I don't care.

Honestly, I don't. If you have to choose... Enemy of the state, Kevin Clancy and John fucking... Like, I know your deal right now. I'm just curious. If it had to be one... I'm just curious. All right?

Because, you know, whatever. I'm not going to play these games. You know what? The good news is, we may not have to even worry about it. The Blues win, you know, whatever. I'm not going to play these games. You know what the good news is? You may not have to even worry about it. The Blues win. It won't matter. That's all that it is.

I mean, the Blues win. It would matter. The Bruins win. It won't matter. If the Blues win and he just kicks me out, then it's like, what can I do? That's like why I don't get the question. It's like how – it's not my choice. I'm going to root for the Blues.

I'm going to try to beat Dave Portnoy, something that not many people have done. I'm going to try as hard as I can. I'm going to use every trick in the book to beat him. And that's the truth. I love Arsenal because we do think we affect the game. Oh, yeah. Honestly, Boris and YP might be affecting the game. I was literally like, whatever.

I'm not going to try to act like I am, but, like, I was with those dudes all night last night. Like, I feel like as much as, like, an assistant coach or some guy would be able to, like, or, like, a trainer may be able to pump. Like, I'm definitely, I feel like, have a 1.0 or.001% effect on the game. I think so. The fans matter. Home ice advantage matters. And you right now are, like, leading the charge of Blues fans. I think that's like Somewhat of realistic

I definitely think so I wouldn't put you At the level of a trainer Or an assistant coach But My point is Like My point is

Someone that like Is like gonna have An influence on The mood Or this Or that Oh I think he's I think he's got

I think Boris And YP have an influence It's a mojo thing You know how it is When teams have mojo You said it Like they got a song They got a story

They got a mascot now Yeah like that's different Like you know what I'm saying Like the All-Stars Were just like the stars And it was like They're good enough There was no Mojo

Who's had Mojo Yeah the Bruins are like Just they don't really Have that story There's good It's like Their story is We're from Boston

Yeah right What an original one I mean that's Literally their story That's like We're the city of champions. That's the story. What year was the Red Sox beards, guys?

13. Like, that's mojo. That's what you need. You got to rap. I'm just saying. Like, Deflategate went like the Retribution. Like, that was mojo. Yeah.

The last two Super Bowls were just, were good. Yeah. When you have seven trillion of them, there's going to be a few outlaws. That's the story. You're the champions. You're the winners. That's what that's the ruin story word from the city of champions god please let's get into these voicemails they are brought to you by raycon uh you know me i was i was holding on i was fighting the resistance i was using the air the headphones i wasn't doing the wireless i didn't like the airpods from't doing the wireless. I didn't like the AirPods from Apple.

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of businessmen in the entire in the entire universe uh it's an unbeatable price it comes in a range of different colors wireless earbuds for everyone and and an amazing deal buy raycon.com slash kfc let's get into them Hey, KFC. Hey, Super Producer BC. So I got a little backstory and an hypothetical for you. So this is a girl at work that just won't stop talking to everybody. Constantly throughout the eight hours of the day, little Jessie will come in. Little Jessie just won't stop talking. But literally nobody listens to her.

They all just zone her out. So would you rather be able to say only 10 words a day and everybody talked to you or say i don't fucking know what's a lot of words a couple hundred a lot more than normal let's say let's say three times now as a normal person would talk in a day and you could talk, but you had to talk that amount, and no one would talk to you. So, 10 words a day. All right, so the question is either talk a lot or don't talk at all.

I mean, for us, we have to talk. Right. I make a living that way. I have to talk. As a profession, it's necessary to speak into a microphone. That's how I collect my money if i wasn't but if but if it's not if i'm not on radio podcast right now whatever 10 words if i have a regular job without a doubt i mean i probably say 15 words i don't know if you're if you're outside the studio you are completely silent right you're such a you're a recluse basically i would want if i didn't if i

if it was you can talk in studio all you want but outside it i would 1000 take 10 words absolutely it's like oh he's talking you just came up you're like excuse me yeah boom here's my uh-huh i i think i'm still gonna go uh i think i'll talk more i like to talk but yeah but why i don't know i don't know i just found myself talking i don't like to be you know what it is i don't like to be left alone with my thoughts my my mind starts going so i'd rather just talk to you about like some other shit otherwise i just start thinking about my own business and that's not good for business. See,

I'm, I'm, I don't, I'm very good at, I'm, I'm robot like where if I'm, if my brain isn't necessary, I,

I'm like a shit down someone at, you know, like, like, uh, the manager at the retail store when things are, are, are slow and you say,

Hey, you can head out of here. I'll close up. That's what I tell my brain. I'm like, you're good. You're good, man. Get out of here. I'll close up. That's what I tell my brain. I'm like, you're good, man. Get out of here.

I'll just, I don't need you for now. Your mind goes into like sleep mode. You know what I mean? It's like, like, like, you know,

those cars, those new age cars, you stop at a red light, the engine turns off. Yeah. Just save gas or whatever. They're the worst. But that's your brain though.

Yeah, it is. It's like, you're at a red light and just, boom, shuts down. It's just, I just get a screensaver in there.

I hate those cars. Those don't make any sense. It's off. I feel like they actually have to waste energy by starting and stopping starting and stopping i can't imagine that's actually good for me i wholeheartedly agree my daddy told me that when i was like young and couldn't afford gas and i would like going down put it in yeah yeah car off he's like that's wasting gas turning on turning off right probably it's probably you know i assume the engineers of car companies they figured it out figured it out

right my dad's old wives tales but uh nonetheless i still revert to him i'm like well i found what my dad said happens so you can take your degree and shove it up your ass thanks you're you're hundreds of years of research and all that or decades of research hey kfc fights super producer b. Uh, first time, long time. I got a question for you. So my girlfriend was telling me the other day that her cousin just started seeing a new guy. And apparently while they were on the phone together, the guy told the cousin that he's never jerked off in his life. I laughed and immediately explained to my girlfriend that in no way could

this be true But she doesn't believe it And thinks that the guy is telling the truth My question to you guys is Why would this guy say this Like obviously it can't be true Hey KFC fights I mean

This guy It's red flags everywhere Because either it's true Which it's not But if it's red flags everywhere because either it's true, which it's not, but if it's true, like, what the fuck? And then if it's not, like, why would you tell this lie? That's a weird, weird thing to think you should be lying about. He told it to his girlfriend? Yeah.

I think we live in this weird bubble where I think I've mentioned it before where, like, my mom in high school would get mad at me. She'd be like, you and your friends drink too much. I was like, no, it's just how much everyone drinks.

Yeah. And it was just cause like, that's my circle. Right. So I think like, because we're so perverted, we're just like, everyone's really like that.

And I think there's probably like a, not a good portion, but there's a sect of the country where people think that if I tell my girlfriend I jerk off, I'm cheating. Oh, my goodness gracious. Cheating? I thought you were going to say, like, you know, it's unsavory. Yeah, maybe cheating's not the right word, but they would not be happy to hear you jerk off. No, but it is.

It's like cheating. It's like you're, like, lusting after her. Another girl? Fucking A. I have a friend that said that, and it's like, I almost, like, stopped talking to him. I was like, dude, how? Like, that's almost like a mental deficiency or something. Like, that's crazy.

Yo, in this world where like monogamy every single day gets more and more like difficult and unnatural for people, you can connect to so many people, you can meet so many people, you can date so many people, and you can see so many things. To restrict yourself to not even be able to jerk off is good luck with that go ahead go try to live your life that way you know it's i can't keep my dick in my pants let alone not in my own fucking hand come on now give me a break give me a fucking break it has nothing to do with real life like people that are like oh you're jerking off to like chicks you want to bang it's like not at all well all. Well, no, I mean, I am. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, I mean, I have thoughts all day long. I have thoughts about,

I want to murder this person. I have thoughts about, I want to sex with this person. I have thoughts about things I want to do and, and things I want to say. And you don't act on, you just try not act on them or else you're a fucking terrible person. If I can't even just jerk off. See, that's the thing. If someone just jerks off and has these thoughts, that's going to stop you from, from acting on it. That's going to, you got to give yourself some release or else you're going to end up doing

horrible things instead of thinking horrible things. I agree wholeheartedly. I think, I think that this guy, I'm picturing him as, um, Isla Fisher in a wedding crashes. Okay.

But she's like, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla, Isla Fisher in Wedding Crashes. Okay. But she's like, Isla. Isla. Isla. Isla. Isla Muerda. But she's like, I always knew my first time would be on a beach. And then later, she comes out, she's not a virgin.

She's like, oh, I just say that. I just want you guys to want to hear that. Yeah. Like this kid might just be like playing it safe and being like, I just thought my girlfriend wanted to hear that. But she should check that out. She should be like, look, I don't give a shit if you jerk off. Do you really never jerked off in your entire life? Yeah. Like this kid might just be like playing it safe and being like, I just thought my girlfriend wanted to hear that, but she should check that out. She should be like, look,

I don't give a shit if you jerk off. Do you, have you really never jerked off in your entire life? Yeah. And then if he says I'm dead serious and reestablish, like once I'm being very clear again, have you, I don't care.

Yeah. Have you really never? And if he says yes again, get out, run for the house. I feel like an addict because I can't even picture a world where you don't know what that is. Like,

do you just, did you like look at your dick and you're like huh wonder what that thing see see see by the way this is how i know it's a lie because like we saw this with bob fox like this guy eventually is just gonna come well he didn't say he hasn't ejaculated he's right but i mean that's what i like like at some point you would realize that it is on a day-to-day basis it's logistically stupid to not jerk off you might be at work and just fucking blow a load for all you know you know you're just sitting and like say this dude's sitting there on the weekend with nothing to do for like four hours what do you what do you do i don't i got

three about four hours just like you know you lay down at night before you go to bed what do you do you just close your eyes what that's crazy that's crazy i can't conceive that that's like real there's no way a human does that. Crazy, man. Good for him, I guess. What's up, boys? Got a hypothetical for you. My buddies were talking about it. If you got a billion dollars,

but you had to go to prison for one week a month, would you do it? If not, what would your total be? How much money? A billion? One week a month, would you do it? If not, what would your total be? How much money? A billion? One week per month, though? That sucks. I don't know, man.

I'm firmly, I've always said, I don't do jail time on hypotheticals. A billion dollars one weekend a month? One week a month. Okay, so once, seven days a week, seven days a month, you're going to get raped for a billion dollars.

Yeah? I don't think I'd get raped in jail. People would like me. You see you, you're all soft. You're all soft and supple and got that nice hair. I would be down to get

titty fucked in jail. Instead of getting fucking, you know, butt fucked. Yeah, that's preferable. I mean, you're signing up for like getting beat up and raped in prison. Prison's one of those things where I just like, it's like the boogeyman. I just don't believe it. Oh, okay. It can't be that bad.

Sure. No, yeah. I thought that too, but I've heard that you do actually get butt fucked in prison. I mean, like I've confirmed. I don't doubt that it happens. I just can't like, you get in the jail and they're like, yeah, fuck him. Yes. I think it's more fighting than raping.

I think that there's usually, like, one guy who's, like, there for life. Like, there are also, like, there are, like, gay people in jail. And they're, like, the guys who are, like, so, like, why would you go out of your way to rape someone? Why don't you beat them up? Because you want to get your fucking rocks off. But there are people there who are willing to have sex with you. Yeah, but you know, these people are sick. Not all of them.

It's like, well, rapists, why don't you just go find a girl who wants to have sex with you? Most jails are just full of guys who sold weed. I don't know what to say right now. I mean, that's like what most people are in prison for, like selling like a dime bag. I mean, if you went to dime bag prison, okay, sure. But if you're going to real prison, if you're talking like you're going to do a week per month on Rikers, no fucking thank you.

Yeah, you ever seen The Night Of? No shot. I saw it. I just watched Escape at Dannemora. No one got raped in that one. Oh, they were fucking in that one. You had to fuck that old girl, that old woman. They were drilling that chick. Yeah. So if you can fuck the seamstress, why are you going to fuck that old girl that old woman yeah yeah so you can fuck the

seamstress why you can't fuck me for fuck I mean I think I'm hotter than her assuming it's a good you know it's a coin flip I know you're hot I'm not sure yeah I would fuck you bad she was like I don't even care about her fashion. She's real bad teeth. She did have fat titties though. Yeah, I remember. I just watched it. I watched it Saturday. I remember. If we're talking Oz prison, what's your answer? I mean, yeah, I'm not getting raped weekly or daily.

Thank you. I'm going to assume that prison sucks that bad, so I'm out. I think I've been watching some prison shows lately. If you went to prison, would you just become gay? Would you just learn to like it? No. If you were stuck in prison for life rather than just get raped the whole time, wouldn't you be like, alright, I'm going to make lemonade here?

What if you went the other way? That is kind of a tactic. If you went around just like, let me suck that dick. Let me suck that dick. Get away from me, dude. Now you're raping now you're raping everyone's eventually like like don't put yeah there's probably some guys who are just like yeah man go ahead cool keep going i'm right here keep sucking that dick but if you give up what have

you given you're enthusiastic to give bad blowjobs. I mean, a toothy blowjob. Come on. Yeah, and, like, eventually, like, the ones that give, like, girls doing their first porn ever were just, like, really slow. When their lips go in like this, that sucks. That's when it's like, you don't know what you're doing. I actually love it, though, when you see, like, girls in porn, you know, and, like, they do bad, and you're like, oh, this is kind of realistic. Yeah, that's why girls do like you don't know what you're doing i actually love it though when you see like girls in porn you know and like they do bad and you're like oh this is kind of realistic yeah

that's why girls do porn is great it's like this girl sucks at sex i can't wait to watch more because it's like oh this is like not staged yeah right when they're like girls important they come in they're doing like backflips yeah right it's like this girl doesn't have any rhythm she can't ride she can't blow it's great it's awesome you know that they watch back and like wow i'm bad like yeah it's real that was that melissa king when she was't blow it's great it's awesome you know that they watch back and like wow i'm bad like yeah it's real that was that melissa king when she was like i want to do it again because i've gotten so much better yeah that's on the rundown she said she was like my my one regret is that like i only did one because i'm so much i i would put on such a better show i i

very vividly remember because it was like the hottest thing i've ever heard in my life very i was like guess what you can yeah like heard in my life. I was like, guess what? You can. Like that is very much available to you, girl. You know, can I make a confession here? I don't have ever said this out loud. Oh, boy. Wait.

John Pettelberg's confession is brought to you by Quip. We're going to tease this one. Quip is the electric toothbrush that it's going to change your entire toothbrushing routine. Have you ever brushed your teeth for two minutes, Swipey? It's so hard. And then you realize that you've been brushing your teeth wrong this whole time. So you probably got gross teeth because you haven't had Quip in your life telling you exactly how long to brush this side and this top and this bottom and how long you're supposed to do the whole routine. It comes in a sleek, tiny,

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John Feidelberg, what is your confession that you have never stated on the air? It's not that big. It's a little weird. So I follow Melissa King on Instagram. So and. I was, you know, she she she we used to do stuff with her back in the day. So we followed on social media and she very often posts swipe ups for her only fans i believe it's called i signed up for most of king's only fans

it was like it was always like there was one in particular where it was it was all blurred out the chest and the uh the bathing suit area and the suit area she was doing creeper than if you just said pussy and she was doing a cartwheel on the beach and it said swipe up to see the unedited unfiltered pic and i was like it was really it wasn't even a sexual thing it was like i gotta see what titties look like when they're doing a cartwheel i gotta see mid-titty cartwheel signed up some like it was expensive it was like probably like 60 bucks a month no way and the that's crazy girl's cake in it and uh and it was all of her pics are like,

just like her hands covering her nipples. That picture, it looked like you'd be able to see everything. She was turned enough that you couldn't see any of her, any of the chest. And it was, she was in a thong. So it was like, it was a regular, it was a cartwheel on a beach. I immediately canceled my subscription, but yeah, she didn't get 60 bucks from me. No doubt about that.

I'm like, so I'm scrolling through looking for the picture. I might not, I might not have saved it, but, uh, I think Lana's is like 20 when she came in here. She told me she like gets anal to every fucking one. It was, it was, it was crazy expensive. every fucking morning. For $20, you're talking $60 for like 80 picks? It was crazy expensive. I was very shocked at the price of what Melissa

King is charging. That is an outrageous bracket that she's running. I still get emails all the time from OnlyFans like we'd love to have you back. When Asa was on there all the time I was going to do OnlyFans just to see if anyone would sign up. It's such an unreal way to live, just recurring revenue

every month. If you get 100 people to sign up at $20, it's like, what a joke. They get so much money. And they make it impossible for you. Asa said this, we make it impossible for you to cancel your subscription. How much do you think, Melissa King, if she had

1,000 people at $60, is that I don't know math, but is that $60,000 a month? I mean, that's a fucking insane amount of money. I don't have the picture, unfortunately, it seems like. Can you imagine that? $60,000 a month for fucking taking bikini pictures? No, I can't.

Yeah, anyways. Crazy. It's crazy. That's the end of the show. I mean, that was It is It is crazy What are you gonna do But alright It's

Game's on now Get the fuck out of my studio I actually was just leaving so You can't leave I said You weren't even getting up yet Get the fuck out You were

If you're watching on Barcelonagold.com Slash KFC You were not even getting up yet You were making no motions To leave Until I kicked you out Get out of my studio