KFC Radio - KFC Radio Addresses the Mean Girl Drama at Barstool HQ Ft. Donnell Rawlings

Episode Date: January 27, 2022

- KFC and Feits address their take on all of the Mean Girl Drama at Barstool HQ - Is Feits eating protein bars on the toilet? - What is the worst age to turn? - AITA - period blood out of a**hole - refusing money from parents - Voicemails - Favorite DvD movies - Faking it until you make it - dumbest question you've ever asked - Donnell Rawlings Interview including being Ashy on the the Chappelle Show, the future of a**, Bert Kreischer and Bobby Lee being naked together, and much more ---------> Subscribe, Rate, Share, and Leave a Review! Subscribe to our youtube: barstool.link/KFCRADIO

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. So, those are the three main dramas. Where do you want to start and what do you think we disagree on? Oh, boy. Okay. Let's start in the beginning. Let's go back to the podcast, KFC Radio on YouTube. Bang. It's another episode of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network.

It's Clancy and feidelberg down to fuck around uh we got a big episode we got a lot to talk about uh probably the most dramatic day of barstool sports in the last few years um yeah i don't even know why you even try to keep i don't know it's like every episode's crazy. Like, every episode of the last, like, five episodes. I'm, like, fine until we start. Like, I can hang out with you. And then it's like my body knows, like, it, like, gears up. It's like, all right, time to get ramped up.

And I feel like I'm going to, I don't even like this T-shirt. Oh, no. Now you feel uncomfortable. This episode is canceled already. You're wearing your corduroy hat and you lost it. Now you're wearing a T-shirt you don't like. We just did a photo shoot where we look horrendous. Oh, my God. You're wearing your corduroy hat and you lost it. Now you're wearing a t-shirt you don't like. We just did a photo shoot where we look horrendous.

Oh, my God. Let me tell you the problem with being a blogger, okay? I'm anti these clothes. Whatever they make us model in, don't fucking buy them. Seriously. Don't buy these clothes. Buy our clothes. This does nothing for us.

This does nothing for me and John. Don't buy these. Buy our clothes. We are hot people. The clothes are unflattering, so I wouldn't buy them. Bro, every time we do realistic photo shoots, I'm like, I hate this. We're not photo shoot people. I don't think I can say that. Buy the clothes.

They're great. I'm lying. Every time I'm like, yo, we are not like Hollywood. We don't do headshots. We don't do photo shoots. But then we don't do them, and these guys need to build assets and come up with flyers for live shows and shit, and they just pull awful images off of Google of us. And it's like, well, fuck.

I guess we should do that. I'm fine with those. Pull the awful images of me. Yeah. I don't care if it's crisp and clean. No, I don't need it to be crisp and clean, but I don't mind. You're doing it on purpose at this point. What? You, with the Friday night pints nonsense.

What do you mean? It's always our fucking stupid, lame headshots. And everyone else has cool pictures of them. You guys don't take other pictures of yourselves. I've been trying to get you guys to do headshots for two years. I don't want headshots. Just cut me doing this And then they get that one

Then it's like very pixelated That's fine No it's not fine We can stage shit We can do that but like we can't Well that's the problem is we go in there And they're like okay so like put on Put on this pink hat and like goof around

Bro I had a bow in my mouth. You put it in your mouth yourself. I put it in my mouth myself, but they put it around my neck. And I was like, well, this is lame, so I got to do something here. Yeah, do something. So I put it in my mouth. But, yeah, we need to just take some normal photos. This is the Barstool Bitch Fest is what this episode is.

Yeah, yeah. But, no, you know what? It's like we're ugly, so, you know, it's tough. Yeah. It's a bitch fest because normal people don't have to take pictures in unflattering clothes. They're going to be plastered all over the internet. I put it on. Right away I was like I've got the weird dick bump thing going and I'm fat.

Oh, you could see my dick head in the picture. Yeah. For sure. And it's not good. It doesn't look like a good dick. It's like a little button, you know. Dude, they kept doing this thing. It's the cartoon nose we talked about.

The little boop boop. Yeah. They kept doing this thing where they would start a sentence on how we could look better, and they'd just kind of tail off when they realized there was no solution. Because usually when somebody's like, oh, my God, I look terrible, people are like, no, no, no, you look fine. You're crazy. We were like, oh, my God, I look terrible. They were like, yes, so maybe you just.

You know what you could do? You could turn a little bit. That's going to do it. And then you know what? It would be better. You fat fuck. So now we're ugly. Maybe you could just, I don't know, lose 30 pounds and come back real quick.

I said to her, do you have extra large money chances? She goes, no. Fuck! So be on the lookout for us in ugly pictures. Yeah, you're going to kill us. You're going to kill us. We have fucking heart glasses. Whatever. Whatever.

Whatever. It is what it is. It's too late. My check's going to clear next week, hopefully. But here's the thing, John. We don't have to worry because now here at Barstool Sports, we're not mean to each other. We're not allowed to be mean to each other at Barstool.

We are no longer mean. This is a nice company now. This is a nice company now. This is a nice company now. Just – we are – I mean we always have been just one big kumbaya happy family entertaining people. Now here's the deal. I think you and I are going to disagree on aspects of this. Okay. Let's get into the drama.

If you don't know what's going on, you can catch – I have a one-minute man out on my Instagram, KFC Barstool, that really briefly, quickly explains it. If you don't know, on Tuesday, there was three explosions of toxic femininity happening at Barstool Sports. This is what happens when you let the chicks into your club. But it all began with two main stories. One being Alex Bennett from Cause I Said So, and she does content with her mom, Kim. She went to the Barstool. I'm going to go real quickly here. She went to Barstool Yak Live. She got way too drunk.

She was shit-faced at the bar, asleep on the bar. Caitlin Walker, who's Brandon Walker's sister, who does all of the travel booking, was helping Alex. She called her husband, said, you've got to come get your drunk-ass wife. And then Hannah Cook, who is the Barstool Sports Advisor weather girl, called Alex's phone.

Meteorologist. Kaitlyn, speaking of meteorologists, New York City could see between 2 and 20 inches this weekend. What are we doing? Just plan for that. Just plan for anywhere between absolutely nothing or devastating blizzard. That's something that dumbass Hannah would probably say. So she calls Alex's phone.

I think we crossed the line there. She calls Alex's phone. HR is going to hear about that one and caitlin picks up and says like oh i'm with alex i'm taking care of her her husband's coming to get her and hannah allegedly says something to the effect of um you're not content why are you hanging out with alex who is content that's a bad look hannah says that she never said that. I fully believe Caitlin Walker. 100% in all ways. I believe she walked it back and said, you're right, I did say

that. I think she tweeted, I never said that. She said something like, if I was drunk and if I said something rude, then like, I'm sorry, but I don't think I did. Because then she tweeted and deleted, I don't know how to defend myself from something that never happened. So, she's all over the map. Because I think she was shit-faced too. I think Caitlin Walker is like the nicest person in the world. She exists

solely to help people at this company. I just believe her wholeheartedly, 100%. Yeah, I think that's the feeling. So that was the first thing. Then Alex Bennett was involved in a second thing where she was she went on Jordan's show called Blocked.

Blocked is a show about tell me a time when a social media personality blocked you. Alex Bennett told a story when several years ago, this girl who is a fashion Instagram influencer blocked her because Alex was commenting on her photos saying that they were Photoshopped because Alex lived in the same building as this girl. So she would post these pictures that looked nothing like her. Alex would see her in person and then comment and tag her friends and be like, I saw her today. She's totally photoshopped. Like, this one's not real. That was like three years ago. Alex got blocked.

She tells the story again. That's when we find out that Dave Portnoy knows this girl, Danielle. Her company is called WeWoreWhat. And Dave knows her and hangs out with her in the Hamptons. this girl Danielle. Her company is called We Wore What, and Dave knows her and hangs out with her in the Hamptons, and so he gets a phone call from her being like, what the fuck is this about? So Dave says, you've got to take this down.

Then gave them the ultimatum saying, you can take it down, or you can leave it up, but you have to tell everybody that I told you to take it down. So they end up taking it down. So that's another point of contention. And then there's a third thing where publicity, Alyssa Amoroso was just saying that her

live show was better than the Marshall Yak live show. Which is just a funny little sprinkle it in there. I think I'm better than you. So those are the three main dramas. Where do you want to start and what do you think we disagree on? Oh boy. Okay. Fuck. Let's start at the beginning. Let's go back to the Hannah Cook thing.

That I don't think, for some reason, I think that became the most drama of the office, but I don't think there was drama about it, because I don't think anyone had a different opinion. It's an insane thing to say. Yeah, but, well, I mean, she was kind of... It's a crazy town thing to say. She was kind of maintaining that she didn't say it, though. I think that, I don't think there's drama.

I think people, that might be the juicy part. I think people are the one people like to talk about the most but like everyone who was around talking anything anything i overheard or was said to me was like yeah that's nuts right and that well what it sparked was this content versus non-content like joke correct dev uh uh dev was like you know ria spit in my face because i'm not content and tommy was saying like i only associate with content people and like jokes like that floating around about content versus non-content i said it on my other podcast here like the line between content and non-content here is like so fun is is like if you go to like nbc you know uh the today show hosts probably don't even look you're not even allowed to look at them if you're a pa you know but here

it's like you know our producers don't even know how You're not even allowed to look at them if you're a PA. But here, it's like our producers don't even know how to produce. They're just funny people. So everyone's content. Everything's content here. So that's kind of crazy. Also, the one thing that Hannah tried to say was like, I thought that you were going to make content out of Alex being drunk, and I wanted to protect her.

But in the same breath, you're saying that Caitlin Walker's not content. How would Caitlin Walker make content? Unless Gaz is with you, you're saying that caitlin walker's not content like how would caitlin walker make content unless unless gas is with you you're probably pretty safe yeah and we'll get into that too because then they they started talking about like what would you make content out of drunk people on the day porno show so i i think that probably happened in some capacity um caitlin walker is so uncomfortable right now she doesn't want any part of this but she did want to stand up for herself. I loved her part where she didn't really give all the details. She just said, like, you weren't nice to me. And then she was like,

you know what? Yeah, I'm sticking up for myself. I'm saying it. You mean-girled me. You mean-girled me. So I just think that was a bad moment for Hannah. It was. I mean, it's perfectly mean-girl to be like, where are you? Like, well, where else would I be at 1 o'clock on a Tuesday? I'm getting my hair done.

Her dialing into the salon was a horrible idea. Like, I'm having my glam team slave away on me. That was not a great idea. But I think that was just like an open and shut case. I hope that, you know, Hannah doesn't say that again. And I would say out of – I would be willing to guess out of every media company in the world, content and non-content at Barstool Sports probably has the best relationship. I would think so. Overall.

I'm sure there's some people – But producers also fucking hate content. Producers are bitches, bro. I fucking heard – You're not content. Let's get into it. I've heard fucking – Fuck non-content.

I've heard a lot of people tell about group chats just hating the people they work for. Hating the people. And I'm always seeing on the online. I don't think we've ever heard about any of them, but I've heard tell of them.

I mean, there's always tweets flowed out there like, producers don't get enough love and all this shit. Nick Hamill says those exactly. Don't get me wrong.

There's some producer on producer crime in group chats, too. Yeah. But yeah. I would bet Yeah I'd go so far as to say The producer group chat at Barstool Sports Is the meanest fucking thing That happens at this company There's ones I'm not in

That I've heard about that I don't want to be in for the day that that gets fucking And guess what you want to know why Because they're all fucking smarter than us So they're better at making fun of us. I can only speak for myself. I do everything I can to make sure I'm never one of those talent people. Like we will help put up our own lights and take it down and travel and pack and all that shit.

I'll do all of that or at least offer to help and do all that shit because I never want to be one of those people that the producers are yelling about because that's – It's almost like – I remember when – They are fucking nasty. Fucking – Platinum. Before the – Before the –

I don't know why you guys are laughing. Before the Pats-Titans game I went to a few years ago, I texted Rabel and we did a little bullshit back and forth, talking shit about the Pats game. And this is something that has stuck with me forever because it's so true about so many people. And then he sent me a GIF after the game where it's like, I'll be your Huckleberry or whatever it was.

It was like a perfect gif from Tombstone. Yeah. And I was like, ha, ha, ha, whatever, because it kicked our ass. And I was like, ha, ha, ha, you fucking nailed that. And he said, in no uncertain terms, yes, I did. I can do your job. You can't do mine. And I was like, that's all it took was a gif.

You're right. And I'm sure all the producers, they could yell nonsense into a microphone. It's so true. But I can't fucking edit a video. I'm very aware of that. I'm very aware of that. Like, especially, like, I'll do a video, and I'm like, that wasn't very good or entertaining. And then I get the final product back, and I'm like, wow.

You guys fucking turned that into some cool shit. So, yeah. No, they are by far the more valuable of the people. final product back and i'm like wow you guys fucking turn that into some cool shit so yeah no they are by far the more valuable of the people um and i'm sure there are some people here i can't speak for everybody i'm sure there are some there are some talent who don't treat their producers or or editors or whatever very good so i'm sure there is some people who don't like but um but okay so that's the first thing second thing thing is brought to you by Wood. So we got our new grooming line out. We've been talking about doing this for a long time.

We kind of identified this a long time ago that men's grooming products are kind of the next thing that we should get into. Because it's finally coming around that guys don't like to be ugly. There was a long time in history where guys that guys don't like to be ugly there was a long time like in history interesting stuff to the show for this we'll be ugly for a long time though guys we're just like we'll be ugly we just started using the wood that's why yeah now we know now we know that we have like high quality shampoo and conditioner we have high quality shaving cream and aftershave we have high quality lotions and skin lotion up this morning did you yeah yeah we gotta Yeah. That's a big

thing to us white people. We gotta do more lotion. I'm feeling lotion. I don't know. I'm too new to the lotion game to know what adjective you use to describe your skin after you put lotion on. I'm feeling lotion-y. I'd probably say soft. I think lotion-y works.

You put lotion on every day? Yeah. Why are you lying to us? Well, I... I think lotion works. You put lotion on every day? Yeah. That's a lie. Yeah, I do. Why are you lying to us? Well, I... Yes. When you get out of the shower?

Yes. Just your face? Yeah. Okay. I don't believe you, but okay. Yeah, I feel like you don't. No, no, no, I do. I don't know why I was confused by the question.

Neither do I. I'm sorry. I think it's because you were busy concocting a lie. That's why. No. But I feel like girls get out of the shower and just lotion up every day, like the same way we brush our teeth. It's just like you do it.

I would just never consider doing it. Yeah, because what I've learned is you let it sit first. Sit what? The water sit? No, you let the lotion sit. I'd put clothes on right away and I'd just be sticky. I know. Well, the difference, too, is like – Also, I couldn't get out of my bathroom door because my hands would be so lotion sit. I'd put clothes on right away and I'd just be sticky. I know. Well, the difference, too, is like –

Also, I couldn't get out of my bathroom door because my hands would be so lotion-y. Danger. We should put on the bottle here like you might get trapped in your bathroom. There was one time I was in there and I was like, I'm never doing this again. Spinning the knob. Nuts. You are shockingly stupid if you get trapped in a bathroom because you put lotion on. Dude, now that I'm thinking about it, I have a towel on my waist.

I could just use my towel. This motherfucker got stuck in his own bathroom. This was, okay, for years ago. He got lotion on his hands so he couldn't turn the knob. Oh, I thought you got, like, stuck in a tub, like, from the president. Like, Jesus, Sean. No, this was years ago. This was back when I lived with two non-content people, Lewis and Gaz.

And it was, we had a harder door, and it was just like, I don't know, I couldn't get out get out it was like one during one of my self-improvement times yeah and i was like i'm gonna start lotioning i'll be better man well there's something it's almost like when you get uh gym clothes and sneakers and shit you kind of like feel like all right i'm gonna do it now yeah when you get like a line a whole line of everything you need to be like here's how to not be ugly here's how to not look old it's like okay i not look old. It's like, okay, I got everything I need now. I just got to do it. And it's like I got to remember to put it on and use this and wash with that. But once you do it, you will be less ugly.

And that is the name of the game. Forever it was just like girls get to be pretty and boys are ugly. That's just it. We make money. And then now they get to make money too. So we can't be – they're pretty and make money. We're ugly and make money. They're tying up the game.

So, Get Wood, go to getwood.com, W-O-U-L-D, or check out your local CVS. We're going to be in over 9,000 different CVSs when we fully roll it out

right now. Check out to see if it is in your local store, or you can just go to getwood.com. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash,

deodorant, all available in three different scents. They've got hair care, they've got body wash, they'veampoo, conditioner, body wash, deodorant, all available in three different scents. They've got hair care. They've got body wash. They've got face wash, scrubs, moisturizers, all products. Everything is $15 or less, and it's made by a real cosmetics company, so it's like actually real shit. It's not just like me and Dave and Feidelberg.

We're like concocting our own lotions. This is a real deal. We did give opinions on it, though. Yeah. I don't know. Take that for what it's worth. I mean, take, you know, the gayest guys at Barstool tried it. And it's not Pat.

I don't know if I love that scent. Fuck do I know. Buy it. So, all right, on to the second problem. Alex Bennett talking about this influencer, Dave calling her off and telling her to delete it. Your thoughts? I think we need to think of a fucking nickname for Alex Bennett Stans. Bennett?

The Bennett the Butcher is a fucking gangster. Dude, I usually kind of keep most of the stuff at arm's length. I'm not like, I don't want to hear about it, but also like, I don't know, sometimes it's a little convoluted and I don't feel like diving all the way into it. You should check out One Minute Man for those. Alex Bennett

had me enthralled in rapture. He is... I was nodding my head like I'm a 14-year-old listening to a rap. I was like, tell him.

Yeah, Alex. Yes. You're making some good points. I've never seen Dave Portnoy take a beating like that. I really haven't. Because here's what's crazy about this whole thing. And I'll tell you how much I loved Alex Bennett's performance. You said we need to come up with a name for their stands.

And I was thinking like beehive and all those things. And I'm trying to find out if there's a group of animals that has a B word. You know what I mean? Like a den of wolves or a flock of geese or whatever. I'm like Googling that trying to figure it out. There was something called like a bevy or something like that. It was no good word.

But I'm telling you I was trying to Google something to come up with a name to create a fan club for Alex Bennett. It was entertaining. It was, I think you'd call it, I don't know if it's a knockout because he's still standing, but it's a TKO.

That was a TKO that was like, the Russian is cut, the Russian is cut. You can't beat Dave. For people who have been taking a beating for 10 years, it felt pretty nice. I was like, one of us, one of us. So, that's the thing. She's been getting worked around the ring for a decade getting mentally tortured for 15 years finally have a 27 year old girl come up and stand up for me

it took a girl from oklahoma and her mom sticking up for me. Don't ever talk to me or my son again. Bro, here's the thing. Here's the problem. I can't get Alex Bennett's number because I never need to come to my rescue again. Now, so the Dave Portnoy show comes out, and Dave has put out videos. And, like, I mean, this is at a fever pitch here, Dave being like, shut the fuck up.

And you know a real video from Dave when you see it. I was like, oh, God. I was like, it's time to take your foot off the pedal. Like, take your foot off the throat. It's over. You won. I mean, the thing about Dave, I've said Dave is the best arguer, debater on the Internet, period, maybe just, like like in the world.

And while he's – it's because he's very good at it, it's also because he knows when to – like he doesn't dive headfirst into an argument unless he knows he's right. If he's wrong, he'll own it or he won't like fully like latch onto it. But when he knows he's right and he's got the receipts and all that shit, he just assassinates you. He was wrong at every turn on this one. There was a lot of wrong. I think the

biggest thing was just that it was... Listen, when she called him double standard Davey, it was like if there was a gal... That was a Portnoy move. That was like Jericho got put in the walls of Jericho. That was like, oh, I didn't know you could do that. You're using your own mobile.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was off the rip. It was like very beginning, right? Unless that was edited or something, it was like right away he was like, we've got Mean Girl Alex. She was like, well, if I'm Mean Girl Alex, you're double standard. Yeah, I was like, what? Is that easy the whole time? You can just make up something like that?

Just a little alliteration and we're good to go. Fuck. I should have done that 15 years ago. What is funny is people catching on to – I almost called the police on her. Like there's no way you can argue like this. There's not allowed. It is funny when people find out for the first time that Dave has double standards.

He openly says that for years. He's like, I treat people differently. Like you can say things that you can and all that shit. But in this case, it was more about a double standard of, like, how Barstool operates. And there's just been a million times that somebody's personal friend is in the crosshairs from somebody at Barstool, and they just got to fucking wear it.

A million times. I stopped responding to those texts. Yeah. Oh, yeah. When people are like, you know, what's up with your boys saying this about me? I've learned this. A million times. I stopped responding to those texts. Yeah. Oh, yeah. When people are like, you know, what's up with your boys saying this about me? I'm like, that didn't happen. Dude, I knew from the first jump. And it was back in Milton.

I don't even remember the ad agency. But it was like my friend worked at this ad agency. And she was the one who worked on an ad deal. And he wrote a blog just crashing it. Smoking it. And he wrote a blog just – Just crashing them. Smoking them. Yep. And these aren't comparable situations, but it was – and she was like, what the hell?

I'm crying. I'm like, I think I'm going to be fired. And I was just like, no. That's not me. Well, I'll find a new friend because I'm not dealing with this fucking at all. I mean, countless times that I've been like, oh, well oh well that's gonna ruin my chance of doing this my relationship with that there's no fucking way

if I knew that was the rule I would have been asking for a million things to come down but what's your number one video you've taken down well there are things I think that are like

on the whole probably were bad for everybody but me personally Kaepernick, you think? Probably a good one to come down. It's probably one that I could benefit from in multiple ways. Pretty decent choice.

Just go through all of them. We'll put them in here in case you haven't heard them. We'll link to it on YouTube we'll create a playlist play the greatest hits I was going to say the Steve Cohen shit bothered me last year where Nate and Dave just decided to

make up that Steve Cohen's a criminal and it was just like sorry that we're burning this entire bridge with you and the one team that you have a podcast on. But that, so the whole day, I'm watching the way Dave is operating and we're editing things and deleting things and taking videos down.

And I'm like, what is going on? We just don't do this here. And then you find out that he knows this girl, and they hang out in the Hamptons, and it's just like, oh, okay. This is just... I think the biggest thing, and I don't think we talked about it enough,

is that it was three years ago when Alex was a regular... I don't know her age. I called her 27 earlier. I think she's something like that. She's just like a regular girl. Yeah, I don't know what she was interning. And this girl, the other girl,

what we wore, whatever, we wore what, three years ago, she probably wasn't where she's at now, but she was like, she's a big deal. Yeah. Now she has millions of followers. So she probably had like a million followers.

I think you'd be much weirder if Alex, much more mean girl and much, I don't love, I've never done that. I've never, I think that was one of the first questions they've ever asked me in my intern interview. It was like,

do you comment on the website? I was like, no. Yeah. And he was like, okay. I told Alex to her face. I was like, I don't love that you were leaving those comments. There's no reason to do that other than to point it out. But also, two things.

One, who fucking cares? People are mean on the internet. That's what I'm saying. Every tweet I send, I don't love it, but it it's i'm something i know is gonna happen to me yes and like and we and my second point is like that is kind of a content thing for girls like photoshopping pictures yeah do you alter your photos or you know what i mean so like i don't even know an equivalent but it's like if a guy guy if a guy deletes a tweet and we're like, oh, this pussy deletes his tweets. And girls are like, yeah,

she photoshopped her pictures. It's something that girls talk about and that girl... I feel like every celebrity ever... Everybody does it. That's why I don't even understand why it's a thing anymore. Whatever this chick's name is to Beyonce. I think Beyonce's got in trouble for photoshopping. When Alex Cooper got caught and she was just like, yeah, I did it because I'm insecure

on the internet. Everyone was like, yeah. I was like, yeah, that's what everybody does and I can't believe it's still a thing, but it is and that girl very often,

I guess, comes under fire for it, so it's like a thing. It wasn't like she- It's what she's doing intentionally. Yeah. Once you come to fire for it, one's like,

all right, I gotta buy a better program now. That's what I mean. And you just keep getting caught. So if it's a thing and somebody was just commenting on it and it's like not a very friendly topic of conversation,

but it's just like I was commenting on it. But I think it's one of those things too where it's like you weren't, you never thought, I don't know what Alex Bennett's career path was. I don't know what she ever wanted to be. So maybe she always wanted to be in content. But I thought,

I figured she was interning at some regular ass company. Gossiping on the internet. Most regular people at regular companies do. Also, I say, that's what people like about Barstool. A lot of people in the industry probably won't talk about girls who Photoshop their pictures

because they're like, I'm in the industry. Barstool is always like, fuck that. We tell it like it is. Girls want to know if this is fake or real. I'll tell you. I saw her tonight. It's altered, you know? Also, I mean, underrated eye on Alex Bell. I couldn't tell you fucking shit about the Photoshop.

The pictures I saw, you would know. Oh, really? Like, they're very drastically different. I can only tell by a wave on the closet door. Well, that's the thing is that. I've been told to look for like. The fingers are too long. The background's wavy. No,, that's the thing is that, but that's, I've been told to look for like, the fingers are too long or the background's wavy.

No, but that's the thing. The pictures I saw were like, oh no, no, no. It's like night and day. It's not like, oh, I think there's a little, you know, it's just like you completely

dressed yourself up, made yourself tanner, made yourself skinnier, you know, like, well, I don't care about that, but I think some people do. And so like when you, I think when you put something out,

Can you guys start doing that to us? That'll make the edit longer, probably. There have definitely been times I've been like, let's fix that up. Let's fix that up. Again, I can't think of a direct comparison. Let's start a KFC Radio Photoshop controversy. All our photos,

delete this part. Make our waist super tiny. I Photoshop smiles onto you guys. You Photoshop smiles onto us? Yeah. God, that's the most depressing thing I've ever heard in my life. Photoshop automatically does smiles now. We can't even find your pictures.

Wait, so what the fuck does that mean, bro? It's just not my smile on my face? And have I seen these pictures and I can't tell that it's not my smile? Yeah, absolutely. Keep going. I've taken that photo and made you smile. Because you guys don't take headshots. Yeah.

So you're just making me smile in pictures? Yeah. All of my facial expressions are deliberately chosen. No more fucking, fucking, fucking smiling. This started out with make us look better in your next one. Don't you dare touch my photos. Yeah, go to neural filters. If you're watching on YouTube right now,

Pabst is just dropping a smile into this photo. It's just like it's going to be light work for them. Smile, drag. Wait. One second. I never usually go that high on it because it's going to give you teeth, and the teeth are a pretty clear giveaway. Yeah, but I want to see how bad it can go.

I mean, this is where we're living in a deep, fake future. This is crazy town. You guys are putting fake smiles. Ah! Screenshot that, Babs. All right, I'll tell you what. If it's that obvious, absolutely allowed. Yeah, let's do that.

I want all of our pictures from now on to be, like, grossly Photoshopped. And, like, I want to be overly tan. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Photoshop these things. This is funny. Yes. Go nuts.

Go nuts. I love it. What's in there? Just come back to normal. Oh, it's hair. Oh, look at that. What is that one can we get a better hairline

can I get tan and have a better hairline let's do that fucking love photoshop this is crazy why you bitches are eating each other alive for this

everybody should just do it this shit all just popped up in the past like two months on photoshop they also they can take if you take a picture of your house

and just decide you want it to look like winter, it'll fucking make it. Add snow everywhere. It adds snow, all that shit. It's fucking crazy. Yeah, I mean,

we are living in the future, man, and all these girls still have a problem with it. People probably listen to this like they're learning about Photoshop right now. They're so dumb. But like,

on the internet, if you put something out there, whether it's a piece of content, a picture that's altered, a video that's fake, a bad tweet, like whatever. Is that me and him mixed or something? That looks like me and Duggs.

Yeah, that does look like you and Duggs. Whoa! Whoa. Whoa. The blonde hair does not go well. You put your shit out there. If it's bad or you get caught or whatever,

you get tossed in the fucking blender. And then you take your medicine and like Alex pointed out about Alex Cooper, spin that shit into a positive or whatever, you know?

Be like, oh my God, I'm just like every other girl and I'm so insecure. I'm sorry I did it. I shouldn't do it. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Like to block

and then to call three years later of a problem and then to take it down because you're friends. Like this is the fucking internet. This is what we were built on. This is how we operate.

And, you know, to try to come up with this line of like it's entertainment versus being mean. It's like, well, why don't you ask the people who have been thrown in the fucking blender all these times if they think it's entertaining or if it's mean. This is where I was going to disagree with you because i do agree with the sentiment i do yeah i just don't think this is an example of it i do correct okay so i agree with the sentiment of entertaining versus mean i'm sure throughout times on in the decade i've crossed the line into mean and i i hope i've gotten better avoiding it blah blah blah the one that sticks out where I really wanted to just be downright mean to somebody was in the middle of Deflategate

when Chris Mortensen got cancer and I wanted the blog to just say good that would have been mean but it also would have been pretty funny just a one word blog good Chris Mortensen's dinos with cancer good have been me but it also would have been pretty funny just a one word blog good it's chris morrison dinos with cancer good that's but even even if that happened the internet is not a friendly

place man people are gonna dance on grades i ended up writing something very nice and i meant both sentiments yeah well i didn't mean the good one but the good one's the funnier one i didn't really mean it i meant like all right we'll put it aside. We'll make them better. But the fucking – the good was the funnier blog. Absolutely. And that's – mean is sometimes funny. But I knew it was too mean. So entertaining can be mean and then you get into a weird spot. My example – so back in the day, I used to crush Lena Dunham.

I had like a running blog series anytime she did something you know when she was fingering her sister or she was you were like first on the train with that big dude i you and jesus right like hated her yeah that was yeah no i hated her i i can't speak for jesus jesus the one who coined the she looks like a bag of milk term um uh so he was clowning on her i i always blogged and wrote about the things she did that were bullshit and like that were fraud or not funny or you know when she made up odell beckham like big-timed her and and was rude to her and he was like no that never happened like and the weird thing about the the sexual stuff with the sister and the memoir and all these things that were like you're a fraud or you're just trying to make money or you're you know whatever it was and then and don't get me

wrong this was like 2010 when you could say whatever you want so i was absolutely saying mean things so i'm not saying this was not mean but i would also then get people sending me articles about lena dunham to write about and they would just be like look lena dunham she looks fat in this picture i'm not gonna just post a picture and be like you look fat you know what i mean it was always like they're doing something that's worthy of criticism you know so and when it does just become like you're beating up on somebody for their looks or something that's like in poor taste and and that's where it's a very fine line because it's like you're gonna what you're gonna tell me kevin you weren't being mean to her all those years?

And it's like, no, I was, but there was a point. I believe I was doing it in an entertaining manner and I wasn't like punching down in my mind. It's a celebrity. She's making money. She's doing well. You know what I mean? So there's like different rules to it. Now, the person who always is making the jokes, writing the blog, doing the podcast is always going to be like, I thought that was funny.

I thought it was entertaining. And Dave is the end-all, be-all arbiter of this. So he can be like, I think it's funny. But when we're talking about we used to throw Nate in a birdcage, when we used to, you know, when we called Rhea ugly, when we threw wallets in Blind Mike's face, these are all things that are probably pretty mean. And in Dave's mind, he's probably like, that was funny.

But those guys were like, that was fucking mean. I'll say this. It was funny. They were funny. Right. And that Dave's mind, he's probably like, that was funny. But those guys were like, that was fucking mean. I'll say this. It was funny. They were funny. Right. And that is where I do think Alex Bennett. I didn't think the read was very funny. I wasn't like, it's awful either.

I was kind of. That wasn't funny. That was more like. But Nate in the birdcage in the blind. I watched the ball in the blind. I'm like, that was funny. If we could put Nate in the birdcage right now, I mean, I would. I still wish he was confined to a birdcage.

I wish that Simon Pirate, Pirate Simon came back and wore a pirate costume. You know, we offered a kid a job with the one condition that we got to humiliate him for 30 straight days. We have this girl wearing beans on her socks for 30 days. Well, she's got a, she's pushing us around the ring on that one.

Can I say my point? We're kind of on a roll here. Later. Quiet! my point we're kind of on a roll here yeah quiet um i was very happy when i i heard that like there was drama all across the girls at barstool and i was like thank god yeah he's been in here for four hours with us yeah she's not a part of this um the but so like i don't think alex pointing that out on on instagram was very funny so i can understand that that could be considered mean uh but i think the three years ago when she's not i So I can understand that that could be considered mean. But I think the three years ago when she's not –

I agree. So that's a mitigating circumstance. I think that what ended up happening with Hannah eventually becomes not necessarily mean because if you do something or say something, you're an asshole. Like I said, you got to take your turn on the blender. This just happened to be a particularly rough blender because the whole fucking company was on one side. And now I can't speak for everything. I didn't see every single thing that was said yesterday. What I saw,

which wasn't a ton, to be honest. But I do think neither of us watched the Yak, and I do think the Yak was part of it. I went back, I actually looked at the threads, not threads, whatever you call it, Twitter timelines of Viva La Stool and I don't know, any Twitter that would be doing that stuff. And yeah, there were some phototops of Mean Girls.

I didn't see anything that crossed the line into Mean. Again, I didn't see everything, so I don't know. A new employee, someone who hasn't been in there yet. Like, you know, it is not – the internet is not a nice place. Barstool is not an easy place to work. The internet is not a fun place. When you fuck up or do something embarrassing You are gonna get made fun of

You're gonna get criticized It sucks It hurts your mental health It hurts your feelings It's not good for I mean These are just facts of the world And like we

I didn't invent the internet I don't have You know I just play by these rules I wanna work Can I do a side note real quick You see what I retweeted last night No

And it was like How do we make the internet suck this bad this fast? And it's Elon Musk tweeted, oh God, it's just disgusting. I got it right here. It is, I will eat a Happy Meal on TV

if McDonald's accepts Dogecoin. And I looked it up to make sure this is real. This isn't Photoshopped. Yeah, that's real. Burger King replied, only a king knows what the coin do. The coin do.

And Slim Jim replied, tell him with the crown. It makes me want to fucking die. Last night I thought about going home. Yeah. Just being done with it. Let my apartment go back to the earth. Yeah. I'll go fucking, I don't know, work at, I don't even know what I did before this.

I don't even know what my life was before this. That's the thing. I'll go fucking I don't know Work at I don't even know what I did before this I don't even know what my life was That's the thing I'll go rediscover it We're still at the very very Like infancy of the internet Where like we were I'm so happy to be able to say Like when I kicked the bucket

That like we were around for like The purest Like we got like the pure internet cocaine We got that Columbia Yeah there's no fentanyl in our shit Yeah no None of this is stepped on We got the real shit

When it was first starting And no one knew How to exploit it No one knew How to monetize it No one knew How to make it corporate No one knew

How to do anything Except be mean to each other And find porn And make people laugh And that was fucking it And so That's Steal music

Steal music Like that That is what the internet is You work at Barstool You get to live this like fantasy fucking life where you probably make some good money

and every now and then you're gonna get blasted and it sucks and if you don't want to don't fucking work yeah don't work on the internet and Barstool is heightened

like you can go work other places that will probably be less fun and you'll make less money and you'll have less of a star or whatever and then when you come to Barstool all that's heightened but so is the shitty part that's the fucking internet that will probably be less fun and you'll make less money and you'll have less of a star or whatever. And then when you come to Barstool, all that's heightened,

but so is the shitty part. That's the fucking internet, and nobody can stop that. Nobody can change that. No. So that to me, it was just like, boy, these are not the rules that we've been playing by for a long time. I will admit, I was taken aback. I was taken aback by some stuff yesterday.

But it's also... I get it. I understand. And there are pros and cons to things changing. We like to fucking... It's not good that I'm depressed. It's not good that the internet has ruined my life. If I could have existed at a bar store where none of the bad happened, I would love that.

I just don't think it's possible, but I guess it's good that we're trying. We wax poetic about Millen, and it is, because we actually have Don L. Robinson. Don L. Rawlings. Jesus, sorry. We actually have Don L. Rawlings on the show today, and he kind of talks about when people get,

I think he's using billionaires. We are not an example of billionaires. They don't even talk about their money. They talk about coming up, and that's 100% what weaires. We are not an example of billionaires. They don't even like talking about their money. They talk about like coming up. Yeah. And that's 100% what we do. We wax poetic. We reminisce about the good old days.

We used to get – we still get like those videos weren't better. No. And there were like – there was like three videos total. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like the Combine, King Richard's Fair, and like anime porn with you guys. That's it. There was – those aren't better. But there is something fun talking about the olden days.

The nostalgia, yeah. So there are better times. Let me gather my thoughts here. But it's better to have grown. But it's definitely different. Different for sure. There's a stark difference. Yes. There's a change. There was a stark difference. There's a change.

There was a boom. An AD and a BC. And also what's going on here, there's a huge – I don't know why. Well, I do know why. It's sexism. There's just a huge difference when it's guys and girls. Like I did One Minute Man breaking it down, and the comments are all like, who cares about this?

This is just Barstool Housewives, Barstool reality show, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. If it was my video that got taken down and it was me versus Dave, it would be like, this is what we love, Barstool. This is the mud, blah, blah, blah. It's like people just find girl drama to be catty and like, you know, grating. And guy drama is more like interesting to guys. So like there's just – there's an element of it when it is girls. There's an element of it that it's a new – I love it i'm like i don't i don't care about any motherfuckers when it used to be like oh man you know like john's in the wrong i but he's my boy i got a ride for him what do i say how do i do this now it's like i don't

that cancer blog yeah like what do i do he shouldn't have said chris wharton's in good but i got a ride for him it is also like interesting because it's just it's just human nature when something affects you it's a much bigger deal. Like, I'm sure there are going to be people who don't like that cancer joke. And they're going to be like, my dad died of cancer. Like, fucking everyone's dad did. And then there are going to be, like, people like, well, that's my friend. So, like, it makes it more real to me.

And I understand the need to protect. I mean, that's why Dave was like, I'm friends with this girl. Why did you do this? But it's just hard when you've had, like, this 20-year reign Dave was like, I'm friends with this girl. Why did you do this? It's hard when you've had this 20 year reign of no mercy. And then we're giving out mercy. That's bullshit. I say all that like I don't care

about anybody except fucking Bennett the Butcher. She's my queen. Bennett the Butcher was the star of the day, I think. Jackie, you had some stuff to say earlier. All all i wanted to say all right next topic we gotta go her mic was off at one point right during the day during the day point i show and your whole point was that this wouldn't happen with dave like you wouldn't have forgotten the mics if it were dave because dave like you know yeah lets it rain or whatever but every single time i don't know if i should even say this but every single time i've don't know if I should even say this,

but every single time I've watched a Dave Portnoy show, I'm sorry, but there's been some kind of production issue. Well, as we see, Dave's gotten soft. I'll tell you what, those are good points. Yeah. And, and. So, you know what? Throw him under the bus like you always do, Jackie.

Name names on the Dave Portnoy show. The non-content people you think aren't doing a good job. No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying, like, also, but then that's what he wanted is he wanted, like, just it doesn't even matter about production. Just get it out. But we do good production and we get it out right away. Yeah, you do. So.

I know. That was my point. You guys are the best. Good point. You guys are the best in the business. And I don't think we talked about it on the show, did we yet? Nick fucked up my mic on Friday Night Pints. What?

She didn't know that. Neither of us knew that. I didn't tell either of them that. I hope a camera's on you right now. No, Nick has to wear bean socks. No, because I fixed the audio. So here's what happened. So I'm at Whistlepig.

I'm at Whistlepig, and we've wrapped up Friday Night Pints, and I think we're lighting the fire and all that shit, and I take my mic off, and the pack is off. And I was like, that's not good, because I definitely didn't open it up and turn it off. So I show it to Nick, and I was like, this is off. The battery's probably died. We don't know.

I don't know when this. This could have been a minute ago. This could have off. The battery's probably died. We don't know. I don't know when this. This could have been a minute ago. This could have been two and a half hours ago. We don't know. This fucking guy, give him an Oscar. He's like, no, no, no, it's fine. It was probably just afterwards. I was just like, okay, that doesn't seem right, but okay.

And then I get the text later. He's like, so your mic was off during Friday Night Fights. The batteries did die. But I was able to fix the audio with the shotgun mic. And I was like – I actually called John. I was like, should we kill him for this or not? And I was like, we'll wait to see if there's a stark difference in the audio. And there wasn't.

So he did some shit. We did not get tweets about it. Yeah. If people were like, your mic sucked, then I would have killed him. But I wouldn't have killed him because, again, double standard. But I was like, we got to let her know at some point just so she can have also you're not even wearing Beans in your socks and yeah We just because we haven't gone the picture because he deleted the picture, but I'm fucking a nice boss

I know but I texted no you accidentally deleted the picture That's nothing to do, but the reason why yes the reason why it was even possible for me to delete it and have it not be archived on the fucking internet is because I didn't tweet it right away because I knew how off the site it was going to make you. Yeah, that was nice. That was nice. But. Because then I could have deleted it from my phone and it would have lived on the internet

forever because the internet's not a nice place. But I immediately texted Spider and I said, where do you get your shirts, whatever. And then I texted all my friends. I said, send bad pictures of me. And I said, I will get you a new picture since you deleted that. I was willing to do that. And then you said. So we're working on it.

But I tried to take a picture of you yesterday during our interview. You always have a double chin. Like, whatever. And I started to pick my phone up. And then you moved. And I was like, God damn. Yeah, that's what the other night I came in. Like, she was editing.

I don't know. Do you fully go asleep when you edit? Because I walked in and like, I walked around you. I realized, like, oh shit, I can get the picture now. And I started walking back and Pavs, you had said something. So she like,

we gotta let her go full narcoleptic. So let Jackie go like catatonic and we'll get the picture. And then your punishment can start And I'll do it But the point was Everybody fucks up It's not just you guys

The point is taken What I think we need to work on Because Mean Girl is such a hit I think we need to work on a Bean Girl Mean Girl Crossover I think they're putting out Mean Girl merch. Get a meme of that one. Let's get, yeah, like the

fucking Drake meme. Bean Girl. Your legacy's going to end up being Bean Girl and you're going to love it one day. No. Yes. Yes. Where do you consider yourself in the content non-content debate Jackie regularly

I would say two times a week says Am I famous So I think we know where No I consider myself non I could tweet out like at least Five or six videos of Jackie right now Asking am I famous That's all a joke because I'm non-content

It's called jokes I think you have right now asking, am I famous? That's all a joke because I'm non-content. It's called jokes. I think you have the best mix of, well, not you personally. I think it's you and then I think it's probably like Billy and Jake and stuff like that where you definitely float in both worlds. Yeah. Hank does the same thing too.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. You have your own fucking segment. Okay. You have your own fucking segment. What? You have your own segment. I know, but I'm a producer. Senior producer as I give myself the title. Nick is shaking his head no.

We'll get there, but not yet. So at the end of the day, it's a big time hashtag not my barstool. Notice Gaz has been very quiet on the hashtag not my barstool. So I texted him not my barstool. No answer. The creator of not my barstool has been quiet on it. He did say imagine if Alex Bennett was bashing anybody who talks shit. Yeah.

Imagine if Alex Bennett asked someone to delete videos or edit their podcast because they were talking about the Thunder organization. Oh, okay. Because her father-in-law owns the Thunder. This isn't Not My Barstool, Gaz. This is Potstirr, Gaz. Potstirr, Gaz. Yeah, this is Littlefinger, Gaz. Yeah.

I think that Potstirr, Gaz, stopped short of Not My Barstool, Gaz, because he realized how mad his boss is. Yeah. And I think Gaz is a cockroach. Probably made a – because Gaz makes better decisions than we do. Yes, absolutely. Gaz is Littlefinger because he knows when to stop, whereas I and we are like a slave to the content where it's like I got to say something. He knows like – he's a cockroach. He'll survive the apocalypse because he'll never go too far.

He'll piss you off and Dave will be mad, but when he's really mad, he just Homer Simpson into the bush. I'm Miami. I don't know what you guys are talking about. Yes, exactly. I'll tell you this too. Obviously, Bennett the Butcher scares me. Jordan Woodruff

terrifies me. That crew, they are a wrecking ball. Why does Jordan scare you? I don't know. She just scares me. Those eyes scare me. She's plotting. The only one I've seen who scares me is Bennett. Bennett scares me.

But here's the thing. Bennett, I'm not going to get on Bennett's bad side. I feel like I could just end up on the bad side. I'll be like, you know what? I don't fucking like Khloe Kardashian. And then I'm in the crosshairs. I'm going to say something wrong. I want Minuteman.

Woodruff's going to fucking eat my soul. These girls are scary. Girls are terrifying. Oh, scary. They can ruin everything. OK, so we got. Yeah. I'm telling you, I just need to be gay.

It fucking is, man. And so, yeah, that's the day that bar still died. So, yeah. We got Donald Rawlings on the show. Unbelievable interview. Recapping his days at Chappelle's show. Some inside talk about his favorite skits during Chappelle's show. Also talking about all the

things he's done in his career, all the doors that are open, and just like some insightful talk from a very funny guy with one of the all-time great voices and deliveries. He's just so fucking funny. Angie Larry, Donald Rawlings on the show. We also got real quick, just so we forget, when I said

Rawlings, I fixed it. We also got Real quick, just so we forget. When I said Rawlings, I fixed it. We also got Am I the Asshole and Voicemails. We'll get to Johnny Notebooks first. Honestly, it's not even a notebook. It's just one question I have. Okay. John's brain works different.

We know that. It's just something to do with the chemistry up there, bro. There's just something going on up there. I don't remember why I just something going on up there And I I don't remember why I lost the thread We were talking about something during all that And I had in my head The R word

And I was gonna say like I got two R word uncles And maybe it runs in the family I don't know why I was gonna bring any of this up You sound like you're on fucking 3G bro That's how you pop the gummy Yeah I don't know why I was going to bring any of this up. You sound like you're on fucking 3G, bro. That's how you popped a gummy. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know. I lost it. Well, I was going to say I usually aspire. I don't aspire to have your brain right now because you're an idiot. But I usually aspire to get to John's level of don't give a fuckness. And very few people can attain that naturally. And I need a little something, a little supplement to help me get there. You like my carafe move, by the way?

I've been getting carafes of wine because I told you it's once a month. We get that monthly order of water. We ran out like two weeks ago. It's a terrible pour. Terrible porn. Now you're doing it on purpose. No? Wait, that's not. This is not on purpose.

You spit it to the piss. Give me that. That was not on purpose. That was not real. That was on purpose. It was not on purpose. You spilled that much just naturally? I was laughing and shit.

Okay, now start laughing. mean I don't know I don't know if the cameras caught it John just poured like all over his arms that was insane that was nuts the cameras catch that that was preposterous anyway I like the pretty good pour up until the end the end end, I lost it a little bit. Yeah, but you were saying this is a good pour. I thought you were being ironic. Well, the end, I said it was a good pour, but from before a good pour, it was a good pour.

After a good pour, I started laughing and kind of started bouncing around. You are dumb. So, my point was take some 3C and get to John Henry's level. Get to that level of, I don't give a fuck, man. I was like, did you listen to the show? Did you hear the drawings?

I don't fucking know. No, that's not true. I watched the show. Yeah, you did like that. Yeah. No, I don't like to be on like, I don't care at all about anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like to know what people are talking about.

Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I watched it. I got confused. I didn't listen about Yeah So I watched it I got confused I didn't listen to it I watched it I watched the Alex Bennett part I'll be honest I got a little cringy

At the other parts I turned it off It was a lot of cringe But the But the The Alex Bennett I watched her Just fucking

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Fucking vapes It's gonna get to the point Where they're like Back in my day We used to smoke to get high. And it's like, really? We put like eye drops in, Grandpa. I have a beverage, bro.

How about three Chi eye drops? Kills two birds with one stone. You get high, but you're not going to get bloodshot. Is that still a thing? The bloodshot eyes? Oh, yeah. Yeah? Oh, yeah.

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What do we got from that cursed book? It's just one simple question. And it's really more for Jackie, really, I guess. So I do this thing, right? I have a protein bar late night snack. Real late night. You're not supposed to do that. Oh.

Right? You're supposed to eat it before dinner. No, it's a... You don't even know, bro. You didn't work at GNC in college, did you? My favorite Feidelberg wrinkle. Tweet this out. What's your favorite Feidelberg?

Is it like hockey Feidelberg or Patriots Feidelberg? My favorite Feidelberg is GNC Feidelberg. You worked there for probably like six months. The content we got out of that thing. I worked there for maybe six to eight months. Most of the time I was asleep in the back room because it was in a strip mall. No one came. So I just locked the door and be back in five minutes.

Some people would have to knock to get into the fucking GNC, dude. But I had to fucking GNC Feidelberg was out last night. What do you mean? Throwing around some weights or something? David Ortiz stuff. Oh, yeah? I don't know. I sold plenty of stuff back in East Providence.

I would have popped him on that test. It's like, oh, yeah, dad. He was totally on it. When people came in, I knew, like, this guy wants testosterone, testosterone. I'll take him to this stuff. It doesn't go through FDA approval, Pops. But the – so I eat a casein protein. It's a slower dissolving protein. Okay.

Okay. And you have those at night or in the mornings. You want to have a whey protein, a faster dissolved and absorbed protein. I hate this. I take it back. I hate this so much. I can't tell you how much I hate this conversation So what I do is

I have It's a bigger bar So I have half of the protein bar at night Fall asleep with it in my bed Occasionally Occasionally wake up with a bunch of crumbs fucking everywhere Naturally And then that's my breakfast

When I wake up I have it in bed So then once What I do is I usually get up Once I have my breakfast I usually watch an what I do is I usually get up. I usually watch an episode of a TV show, eat the second half of my protein bar that's been sitting out all night. And then I fucking go to the bathroom.

Let your dick sit on the granite sink. Brush my teeth. And I just throw out the wrapper in the trash near the toilet. But today it kind of hit me as I brushed my teeth because I don't really throw anything else out. I don't have tampons and shit. I don't really throw anything else out in my trash except for protein bars. So it just looks like I eat protein bars on the toilet.

What's the level of disgust there? So I took them all out and just put them in the kitchen trash. If you walked into a guy's apartment and he just had a fucking bunch of protein bars. That would be disgusting. I'll give you the option.

You go home with a guy. He's either got a cheetah print rug or protein bar bathroom garbage. A cheetah print rug. Wow. A protein bar, I assume exactly what you just said. Yeah. He just sits there and just hammers.

I'll be honest. It's not much better what you do. What I do do is completely fine. What's wrong with that? I eat it in bed. Leave it out overnight and have this fucking half and half thing. It's like a granola bar. They don't get stale.

They're born stale. That's true. Granola bar is the worst thing that has ever caught on. I don't know how those are a thing. Those are terrible. I don't mind a granola bar. This one's not actually a granola bar, but it's made up of protein. Nutri-Grain bars, I will accept.

Granola bars? I like it. It's a nice chewy bar. Terrible. Terrible. The chewy bar with the peanut butter and chocolate? That's bad. I don't like that, but that's also just like a candy bar with the peanut butter and chocolate Yeah that's like That's bad I don't like that But that's also just like a candy bar

Yeah yeah yeah But we're talking about like kind bars I think Ugh Uh I will A honey and oats Garbage That's nonsense

Terrible Yeah that's terrible It's just a mess You make an absolute mess With one of those things Let me just eat like a A stick with honey all over it But a kind bar I can fuck with

Particularly the sea salt and chocolate Um All of this is trash all over There's the raw bar I think that it's called Or kind bar I can fuck with, particularly the sea salt and chocolate. All of this is trash all over. There's the raw bar, I think it is called, or pure bar, where it's just like, all that's in this. Six egg whites. Three fucking almonds. 19 blueberries.

Those are pretty good, actually. Yeah, no, I don't really think that's a I think that's more of a protein bar than a granola bar. But I fuck with all those things. We sell them at GNC. I'll hook you up. GNC final. So it's what I thought. It's disgusting.

Yes. Yes. Totally. Like, I can't even imagine the look on girls' faces when they're just like, what has been happening? Just like seven fucking protein bar rabbits by the toilet. Nothing else in there. What else does a guy throw the toilet I like the

occasional like tissue maybe not really no there's just like cum and granola but I flush flush flush toilet I flush cum where do you well you know if I come on a fucking toilet paper like I don't know. I use fucking t-shirts and stuff. Yeah, boxers. Yesterday's boxers. Anything you see me in is covered in my semen. If you encounter a male over the age of 13,

just assume he is covered in cum. From like 13 on, there is just cum everywhere. It's on clothes. If it's not outerwear, it's drenched in cum. It's not even drenched. It's dried in cum. It's dried.

Yeah, yeah. It's been washed and stuff like that, but I don't know how black lights work. No, that lasts forever, bro. All right, yeah. So if we were just jokingly putting black light on, it would look like I was like a fucking... Would you rather me hit you with a black light or a lie detector test thingy? Black light. Yeah.

I just said I'm covered in cum. I won't tell you my lies. Like, you could flip the light, Hit me with the black light There might be so much cum You wouldn't notice That it's the black light Because it would all be white Oh no

What are you an idiot No gray shirts become purple and dark Yeah exactly Exactly When it's all one color You'd assume there's no cum It's just that it's all cum But the lie detector test

Terrifies me You hook me up to that thing And start firing away questions Like nope I have so much cum on me right now. Ask me questions about my cum. It's everywhere. I'll answer that honestly.

Don't ask me anything else. Yikes. Five minutes, I would imagine. All right, dude. What's your asshole thing? Is it? Mine's just like, like, a check question. It's like a voicemail type question.

Okay. Is it like, you think he's going to need question It's like a voicemail type question Okay Is it like Kim You think he's gonna need Another five minutes afterwards or No Alright let's hear it So I was thinking about this last night

Cause I'm extremely depressed And I hate Everything about myself And also I had this conversation Kind of with them What did you do What age do you guys think It's like the worst to turn

Not like B Right Like the birthday turning? Yeah, right. Because, like, I told them, like, both of them are 22. I said 23 fucking blows because you're now officially out of, like, college. You can't be like, oh, I'm in, like, college age type whatever. But also, like, I don't know.

Like, I hate being, like, 24. I also feel like. You're only 24. Oh, shut the fuck up. No, no, no. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. It's like, to me right now, well, this is also coming from a different thing that I don't need to talk about in the podcast.

But I think the real answer would be a shifting answer that is probably always, like, 10 years. Like, 10 years younger than me, I will be telling, like, everyone, like, shut the fuck up. You're young. Right. But I'm saying, like, turning, like, shut the fuck up. You're young. Oh, right. But I'm saying, like, turning, like, my brother just turned 30. Yeah. And I don't think that's, like, it's not that big a deal anymore. Like, anymore, I guess.

Like, it's not, like. But if 30 is not a big deal, then 24 is fucking nothing. No, I know. But I'm saying, like. I know it feels. Yeah. I mean, I get what you're saying. It's kind of like, you know, when you're a college student and you feel like your homework is the most important thing in the world and if you fail a test you're gonna

kill yourself and then you learn one day that like none of that matters but i think for i think it's different for guys and girls i think for a guy 30 doesn't matter i think 40 i when i i mean i started thinking about 40 and i was like 40 is like i'm halfway dead and that's like you're an old person i don't i i 40 i think 40 is the i think 50 is kind of like you can be almost like i'm hoping i'm like a silver fox or like the cool older guy i think 40 is like you're in no man's land you're not young you're not old you're just a dad you're probably like at your fattest because like 50 you start to like work out again because you got more time you know whatever it is i think 40 is probably like your most stressfulliest, worst existence as a guy,

and you're officially, like, old. Unless you're rich. None of this matters. I think that it's the... I don't have an answer for this because... I'm trying to think of, like, the fight scene movie, the fight or, like, training scene where someone's just, like, sitting at the bottom of a pool

and that they're just sitting, like, cross-legged down there maybe it's ali no ali was like boxing in the pool i forget there's someone who's just like someone just didn't cross like the bottom of an ocean i know exactly well pool okay yeah but what what does that mean that's where i've been every year on my birthday or not on my birthday just that's where i've been every year so like it's not i haven't gotten lower there's's no point where it's just like, I don't know. It's just this is the year I'm turning. There's never been – I've never had a year like, oh, I don't want to turn that. Well, because your life hasn't changed.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. And, like, it's – there's never been a birthday where I was, like, too, like, excited about it. There's never been a birthday where I was too fucking down about it. Yeah. And maybe one will come one day, but I don't have an answer. I've definitely thought last year was the worst year ever, and then the

next year comes. But it is... I do a lot of birthday cameo videos, and when people ask me to do a 31st birthday shoutout, I flat out am like, your friend's an asshole.

What are we doing here? Who gives a fuck that you're turning 31? The most irrelevant of ages. 31. What is 31? 31 is you're not 30. You're not at a milestone. You're 31 years old.

Kill yourself. I mean, I had a few mental breakdowns, so I guess you could check the game tape. You could probably find. I don't know if that has to do with just the age you are. I think that just has to do with the year. You know what I mean, I had a few mental breakdowns, so I guess you could check the game tape. You could probably find – I don't know if that has to do with just the age you are. I think that just has to do with the year. You know what I mean? Yeah. You could have had that if you were 34, if you were 35, if you were 36.

You were going to have those mental breakdowns. Yeah, so every year for the rest of your life. Yeah, the answer is every year. First of all, great to hear. You want the real answer. That's what I – well, yeah. I guess I don't really Because so

I think when you're a guy You get to do 21 That's Everybody gets to do 21 I was gonna say 22 sucked I remember 22 22 was pretty irrelevant 22 really sucked

Because it was like Now Well cause 21's like The last birthday You celebrate Like really celebrate Cause obviously 22 is like 31's

Younger brother They're dating Yeah And then It's like yeah This is pretty irrelevant too But like 31's really irrelevant. They're dating. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, this is pretty irrelevant too, but like 31's really irrelevant.

Right. Yeah. And then you turn 23 and you, I hope both of your lives collapse. Thank you. 23. But like,

but like, I, you know, it's, it's very hard to tell young people anything like you should feel this way

because you're gonna, you're living it, you're gonna feel it and then when you're my age you'll say it but like i really think you should be able to have the perspective to understand that 23 is not different than yeah i get when you're and 24 is not different than 23 like these years are all the fucking same when you when you're a child i get being like this is the worst breakup i'll ever have and this math test is so important but you guys aren't idiots anymore

yeah like I think you should have no these guys are idiots these guys are idiots but I think you should have the perspective to be like

yeah 20 20 to like 28 is like all a party and like fucking

I was out the other night and my friend just got absolutely blackout drunk like couldn't even stand up and like we helped him out and the next day like one of our friends was like listen we're like we're 22 years old now I was out the other night and my friend just got absolutely blackout drunk. Couldn't even stand up. We helped him out. The next day, one of our friends was like, Listen, we're 22 years old now.

We can't be doing this anymore? We've got to help our brothers out with their dad. I'm just laughing at him. That's crazy. I'm a child. Yes. You should keep that energy for another four years at least. We're 22 now.

I think people put a ton of stock in 30 especially chicks where like i have to be married or i have to have kids by the time i'm like 32 or whatever i think all of the i think i think the whole fucking uh timeline needs to be overhauled because of the internet and modern i think it has been but i i think i think people like i don't think it has i think it in practice has but people still think of like 30 and they freak out and then they realize they don't need to freak out. We need to like officially move that to 40 or 35 or whatever. The only thing that sucks is the biological clock doesn't move with technology.

If girls could get knocked up later in life. It doesn't. And they kind of can. No. I mean, like there's better medicine and there's better doctors. So it helps a little bit. But like girls are, you know, they're meant to get your period when you're like 13. But no one's having fucking kids when you're fucking 13 so you think periods don't last longer periods still stop uh when uh periods stop when you get when you have menopause which is that

that's that's yeah i knew that that's later but like your fertility you can still get knocked up until that you can but it's just like high risk and not likely and all that shit. So they feel like they got to do it now. We need to get some doctors to get on the fucking record and be like, you can have kids when you're 38. Relax. Yeah, fucking plenty of doctors out here saying COVID is not real. How about somebody saying – Yeah, we need it.

My mom had one at 39. Yeah, like it can happen, but I think people just worry. 39? That's old? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's old. So you're – That actually feels kind of cool.

I'm just kind of cool. I'm just kind of killing time for like six more years. You're just kicking the can, baby. Yeah, yeah. I believe if you have a pregnancy after 35, they call it a geriatric pregnancy. After 35? I think so. I don't know. It's like in your 30s you can have a geriatric pregnancy.

I'm going to put that one in my bag. Yeah, that's like – you know what girls don't like to hear? That. Yeah, we got two years until all my friends start getting called geriatric. That is not what they want to hear. The G word, whoa. Whoa. Excuse me, you want to go take a geriatric dinner?

Everything you do is geriatric. I fucked a geriatric last night. She's 34. You want a geriatric glass of water? Everything's geriatric. I'll get you geriatric beer. Oh, my God. All right, let's get into Am I the Asshole, huh?

Brought to you by Baked by Melissa. Valentine's Day is coming. We already said you got to do your flowers no matter what. That's bar none, bare minimum. Got to do it. But you got to add something a little extra. And you can go with the regular old, you know, the can't misses. But why don't you send something a little baked with a little extra love?

Because, listen, food is the way to anybody's heart. Yeah. You give them some good snacks, some good sweets. Especially in Italians. Oh, the Italians will love it. You got yourself an Italian girl for Valentine's Day. You get some baked by Melissa. They are handcrafted, sweet.

The sweetest hand-delivered, handcrafted pastries and treats for your Valentine. Mini desserts. They're like little, like Kelly Keeg's got these for her birthday. Little fucking cupcakes like this big. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All my friends and I get them for each other. Like, we're all obsessed with it. We all get it for each other.

There you go. The jacked up crew is eating them left and right. I think, how many baked by Melissa cupcakes do you think you could eat in one sitting? If you tried. Not like, how many do you want to? Like, if I told you, you have to eat as many as you can. I don't know. Endless?

Yeah, I feel like it could go forever. Yeah, it would be, I'm trying to think, I was trying to think of the, I was trying to do math, and I kind of stumbled, but I think they're like five by five, maybe? 25 to a sheet? Yeah, let's say. Three sheets. 75? 75. That's actually by five maybe? 25 to a sheet? Yeah, let's say. Three sheets. 75? 75.

That's actually funny. I was going to say 75 too. Yeah. Three stacks. My, my, three stacks. My like eating abilities

is with, with sweets. Like I can't eat like a lot of wings or anything like that but like you give me some of these cupcakes that I like,

I think I might hit triple digits. Just, I don't, I think I'd hit 50 before my body even realized I was eating them. I was just going to say, if you didn't ask me and I just did it, you could ask me at 75. I'd be like, I could probably do 75. Exactly. So they got the little mini cupcakes. They've got macaroons. They've got gluten-free desserts.

Shout out to the gluten-free community out there. So long distance, they'll ship it wherever with their Valentine's Day gift boxes nationwide. So vegans, gluten-free, chocolates, nut-free, the cupcakes, all of that available. And right now you can order them so that you make sure they get delivered on the 14th. Go to bakedbymelissa.com and send love. You can't go wrong with cupcake gifts on Valentine's Day. Jackie and her friends do it. It's good enough for them.

It's good enough for you. Go to BakedByMelissa.com. Oh, yeah. The period from the butts. Yeah. Yeah. I'm learning a lot more about women than I wanted to today. Am I the asshole? This is something that I think, John, you could be this person in this.

Am I the asshole for laughing hysterically after a date kept insisting to me that women have periods from their butts? There's this guy, 22. I'm 20, female. Gone on a few dates in the past couple months. He's nice, and so far we only progressed to going on public dates, but about a week ago we finally decided to have a nice date at my place. Since it was going to be at my place, I let him know before that I was on my period because I wasn't sure yet of expectations he had or what boundaries we were at. That's a weird thing to do.

I don't think that's a bad idea. I guess you're 22. 22's fine. Yeah. I'm 33. I'm fucking you, you mean?'s a bad idea. I guess you're 22. 22 is fine. Yeah. I'm 33. I'm fucking you, you mean? Give a fucking shit. 22, I was in a...

A girl tells me now, like, hey, coming over tonight, I'm on my period. I say, I'll bring the towels. Thanks for letting me know. I'll be a clean-up crew. Or it's like, so we're doing anal tonight. You're 34. 22, I was definitely teetering

on the edge of being icky, gross. I'll be honest. I'm talking tough because I don't prefer to go in there when it's like... Oh, I don't prefer to do it, but I'll do it. I'll do early or late in the game. I don't want to be in there at halftime. That's a lot. That's a lot.

That's a lot. But you know what is crazy? And everybody's gone through this. When the lights are out and you're like, damn, it's wet. I'm killing it. And then it's like, ah, Dexter! There have definitely been times where I was like,

Jesus Christ, how are you still standing? You're looking a little pale What happened? Those are I might prefer that I'm not going out Yo I'm not fucking Fucking coming to the ring

With a razor blade in my mouth Have you ever gotten down on a chick? No Yeah that I think you're sick If you do it willingly But you you never had even an accident? I don't remember. No, I don't remember.

Yeah, I mean, you could be in a mental hospital and be like, I'll fucking drink your blood. I think there are people. I think there are people. There's a lid for every pot. Um, um, I, you know, we were talking last week or whatever about like, do you believe in God ghosts? And we were talking about, you know, I said, you don't have any interest in if there's like a greater creator or whatever, you know, but like, there's gotta be somebody just like the, whoever decided That we're gonna like

This is the system There's gonna be a fucking hole That you're gonna bleed out of And you gotta come inside that thing To fucking make it grow out I mean that's nuts That girls are just shedding their pussy skin Every fucking

Every Every minute It's like you know It's two weeks before Two weeks after They're basically always on their period It's a fucking fiasco. Who came up with that?

It doesn't make a lot of sense. Science is crazy. And I'll tell you what? I'll tell you what's even crazier, when it comes out of their butts. Oh, I think it's making more sense. So, she says, hey. All the stuff you don't want to fuck comes out of the butt. All the stuff you don't want to fuck.

Yeah, keep all the bad stuff in the butt. Keep the poop and the blood in the butt. Yeah, keep the poop and the blood in the butt. I'll tell you what I don't want when I'm having sex. Poop and the blood. Poop, blood, babies should be butts. You should shit out the babies, the blood, and the kids. It makes the most sense.

It does. And then keep the pussy for fucking. Keep the pussy clean. Keep the pussy for clean. That's the fuck hole. That's the fuck hole. Garbage hole. It really should be all entry and exit

So everything that needs to get out The blood, the poop, and the babies It could be either hole It could be the butt or the pussy But just keep them one lane only If you want the babies to come out Of the pussy, then also the poop and the blood Then I'm fucking you in the ass

But if you want it to come out of the butt, then I'm fucking you in the pussy So route one and Gillette Okay What they do is Like when Because there's only Two lanes each side Uh huh

That like They shut down a side Pre and post game Got it So all cars come for lanes Right right right That's what they should do With one lane

They should shut down a lane Right You know what What sex time Like Yeah No no just all time Yeah we shut down a lane From now on there should's, like, you know what? What, sex time? Like... Yeah. No, no, just at all times. From now on, there should be one lane

goes one way, one lane goes the other way. Or what if you have some sort of, like, railroad device where you switch the tracks? You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. And it's like, and now you're gonna go this way? If it goes this way, it kills three people, but if it kills this way... We're going over the fucking ravine or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, we got to make the Constitution have the abortion. What is that called? Your dick's... What? What is that called? It's like a psychological... The Constitution to have an abortion?

No, no, no, no, no. The three lane versus one lane thing. Oh, I didn't know that was like a... Yeah, the train tracks like... I'm going to look this up. I don't know. Basically, the train's going straight on the track, right? Okay. And you have...

You're at the lever. Uh-huh. You can pull the lever and it goes one way. And there's only one person on the track there. Right. But there's a construction crew of three people on the other track. Okay. Do you let it go and not touch fate and kill three people?

Or do you opt to kill... What's the more ethical decision? You kill the one person. Yeah? Yeah. But you've killed that one person. Someone's going to die anyway. But this is...

Or is there a chance nobody dies? No, no. If someone's going to die. But you didn't make that decision. That's what's going to happen. Oh, no. I'll own that. Yeah.

I don't give a shit. Tell those three people, I saved your lives, motherfuckers. I was going to say, I'm owning the good spin zone, baby. I worked on the internet, all right? I know how to spin this shit. I didn't murder anybody.

I saved three lives. That's the fucking story. Two lives. Well, yeah. Well, no. Yeah, I saved three, but I saved those three. You saved those three lives. It nets out to two, but I saved those three.

Right. Also, like, I could just eat guilt like a motherfucker now. So it's just like, yeah, I killed you, whatever. Tell your fucking, tell your kids that it was going to be three people. Fuck you. Anyway, back to the poop and the pee and the blood. Oh, yeah, we got more questions to go. So he comes, and we eat, and then sit down on the couch to pick a movie

when he says that it sucked that I was on my period. Then he said, which is like such a 22-year-old. Dude, sucks your pussy's bleeding, huh? Otherwise we could fuck. My cock's got no hole to go into now. You're too cramped up over there. So you're gonna suck my dick with your mouth.

Your mouth's not bleeding, is it? So he says it sucked that I was on my period. Then he said, how he thought. Douchebag 22-years-old, all Italians. Yeah, they are. This is funny, by he thought, douchebag 22 years old, all Italians. Yeah, they are. This is funny, by the way, because this is exactly

what we just did. Then he said, he thought it's so strange that women give birth through the vagina but have periods from their butts. This was a completely

unprompted statement from him and I'm still not sure how we got on the topic. I asked him what he meant by that and he said exactly what he had said before. I kind of smiled, assuming he was very much just joking, and I said, oh yeah, so

weird, thinking that he was just going to start laughing soon and end the joke. He didn't, and instead started to talk about the first and only girlfriend he had had in high school, and how she used to complain about her bad period poops all the time. Okay. So that's where this guy got mixed up. At this point, I ask him if he's being serious,

and he looks a little confused and says he is. I hate where this is going because I'm trying to start the crusade that mansplaining is not a thing. So when people do mansplain, I get very mad because he's about to mansplain like a motherfucker. I asked him how to explain how he came to that conclusion, and he explained that his first experience being around periods was his high school girlfriend,

that he had never received or seen much information. He understood it was something that happened inside the body, and that blood came out of somewhere, but assumed it came out of the vagina until he heard her complaining and realized it actually came out of the butt. It was very unexpected from a 22-year-old man. Like, I hate that, by the way. Like, 22-year-old boy. I hate that, by the way. 22-year-old boy.

I somehow managed to keep my composure. Unless you killed somebody, then you're a man. Then you're a man. Unless you've got to fucking throw a train track thing. I somehow managed to keep my composure when I told him that periods do, in fact, come out of the vagina and not butts. He looked confused and then a little frustrated and started insisting to me that I was wrong

and kept saying, are you sure? As if I was confused about where it came out of my own body. I explained to him the anatomy a bit and how it worked, but he was very adamant. Eventually he conceded that most women have periods like that, but some, hence his ex-girlfriend, have periods from their butts. He just could not understand, no matter how many times I tried to explain it to him, that he just simply came to the wrong conclusion and misinterpreted his girlfriend's words. The whole situation became so much that I started to laugh. I was

doubled over, clutching my stomach, crying, laughing over this whole debacle, and he sat there, red-faced, continuing to try to argue with me. Eventually, he said he was ready to leave and did before we could watch a movie. I felt bad after laughing because he left. I could tell that he had been when he decided to leave.

He texted me later that night saying that he had done a little research on his own and that he was no longer interested in pursuing any sort of relationship because he couldn't stand to be with someone who laughed at someone for not understanding. Am I the asshole?

Well, obviously not. I i mean she might be why no she's not but but but but like uh in the spirit of not being mean and not taking things too far i don't know when someone's just like like when when someone's dead wrong, I rarely ever – like for instance, if you're interviewing somebody and they want to talk about Bob Saget and they keep saying Pat Sajak, I'm not going to just jump on them and be like, don't you mean Bob Saget? Because I know what he means and most of the audience will probably know what he means. I'm just going to let it slide. When people are really – I did not know what he meant. I put it together, but I was like, I didn't even know Pat Zujac died.

Yeah, you guys will hear this in a little bit. Yeah, this is coming up with Donald Ruggs. This is a future podcast. But when someone is really dumb, that's not even – that's not an example of being dumb. That's just a mix-up. When someone's being really stupid, I don't pile on. When they're coming back at me, I won't. And then he's like,

well, you're wrong. At least some people have them out of their butt. And that's why he's not the asshole. But I'm just saying, I won't laugh in someone's face if... I don't want to embarrass people

when they are, like, very dumb. Right, right. So, you know, maybe she took it a little far. But when you're going to mansplain and be an asshole and be like,

no, no, no, no, let me tell you about your pussy and your butt, it's like, yeah, you're an asshole. In the spirit of that, we're going to keep doing things in the spirit of things. Yeah. Are we going to ask some questions here? I feel like I've heard the term before, but I don't know for sure. Why don't you walk me through what a period poop is?

I think it's like they shit weird when they have periods. They guy shits. Yeah, yeah. I think. Yeah, yeah. He's going, yeah. You know, I just think it's all about turning around. If anyone else in the room wants to chime in, that's fine.

I always have to look at Jackie during these moments. It sucks. So it's just girls say big shits when they're menstruating? Yeah, period poops. Why do they happen? From the Cleveland Clinic Health Essentials. Okay. Constipation, bloating, diarrhea.

All right, so they save it up. Yeah, they build it up. You know, girls don't shit for like a whole month, and then they fucking shit during their period. They hold it in because they can't fart or poop without being judged, and then during their time where their hole's bleeding, their body's like, it's all coming out! Because you've been fucking keeping it in here,

and you've been taking pills to stop you from getting pregnant. Guys have been coming in here, and we're pushing everything out of both holes! The female body is just a catastrophe. And yet, it's the thing that has the most power in the world. We covet this thing that is just a fucking

nightmare. Just a fucking constipated mess. Yeah, it's a big... We always talk about their underwear. It's like this fucking thing that's just this machine that is just spitting out waste. And it just makes no sense.

And we're like, please get naked. Please get naked and put that all over my mouth and my dick and my hands. Like, what is happening here?

Power of the pussy is a fiasco. Gave all the power to this fucking blood hole. This takes us back to last week's episode where the S- like,

stop fucking us. Stop fucking us. Stop fucking us. For real. You take your nuclear wasteland and spam! They should have to put it in a fucking 55-gallon drum with that biohazard sticker on it.

Your body is a wonderland from Chernobyl. Your body is a wonderland that nobody's visited in 35 years because there's a hundred rockin' measuring on the fucking gun. Your body is a wonderland. It's a wasteland. That has literally thousands of years before it's safe to come around again.

Scientists can't figure out. It is deeply haunting. To all the female listeners, I'm sorry I'm not defending anything. I'm just going to stay quiet on this. There's just not much to defend. Yeah, your body is a wonderland of murdered dogs. Rotten forest. Cut down trees and salted land.

Scorched earth that can grow no life. It's an inhospitable terrain. It's like the fucking surface of Saturn. It's like Jupiter. It's 900 degrees in there and nothing can survive. Your body is the asteroid from fucking Armageddon. It's 300 degrees in the sunlight, negative 200 in the dark. So scariest environment imaginable.

That's all I had to say. Scariest environment imaginable. And we're trying to drill it. And we're trying to drill it. Oh, my God. Okay. Am I the asshole for emasculating my husband and refusing to make my parents apologize for it? 28-year-old female, 29-year-old male.

We've been married for five years. My husband was a nurse until he told me that he wanted to become a doctor. I was fully supportive, and he is now in his first year of medical school. I've been supporting us both as he cannot work while in school, but recently found out that our rent was being raised $500 at the end of our contract. This was honestly the last straw as it pushed us past where we were financially comfortable. So I raised the idea of buying a home. This has been in the conversation for years, but my husband had always said we would, uh, he would say my, my husband always said he could, he could, we could after he had paid off his school debt from nursing, paid off in early 2020.

I asked my mother, a real estate agent, who told me that with what we'd be paying, it would be better for the money to go towards mortgage repayments and not rent. I brought this all up to my husband, who shut it down almost immediately. He told me our agreement was to wait until he had paid off all his debt. I told him that was for nursing and that he was in school for six years, which was hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of debt. And some doctors don't pay off their debt for 20 plus years. I told him that I had been supportive of the career change and by financially supporting the household,

but that this was the best financial decision for us, but it's also relieved the financial burden burden for me. I brought up the savings we had for our deposit and how we could afford something small and modest within the budget. But he told me that it was in our interest. We use it. My mother called and asked if we were going to look into buying a house but i told her we weren't and that we'd be looking for somewhere cheaper to rent instead she said she insisted we at least consider it uh days later my mother and father came to

lunch and told us they had news they offered us the gift of the down payment on a home i was over the moon and shocked by the offer. Once they left, my husband exploded on me, claiming I emasculated him and made him look... Girls suck at stories. They could have... She could have just said, we could have cut out that whole fucking thing about the doctor and just been like, my parents offered me a down payment and my husband felt emasculated. But that's where we're at.

My husband exploded on me, claiming I emasculated him and made him look bad in front of my parents. on me claiming I emasculated him. He looked bad in front of my parents. I told him I never asked for this, but we should take it as it was a privilege most people don't get and we would relieve so much financial burden on me. He refuses to talk to me or my parents until we apologize for shaming, emasculating him, but I refuse to. I apologized but told him I wouldn't make my parents as they had done nothing wrong.

Dude, I don't... I guess I just don't get being masculine. I would take that money so fucking fast. Oh my god. I will take free money forever and ever. Bro, like I have a job now and I can take care of myself. And if someone was like, I'll buy you a house, I'm like, that's fucking sick. I'll take a house.

Yeah, no doubt. And like also you can pay people back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like you're studying to be a doctor. I'm sure these parents are okay with you taking some time to pay it back if they're giving you this money. Just the pride. These people who have pride in themselves.

But I feel like we're more rare than we think we are. I do get it. I understand it to an extent. Sure. I do get it. I understand it to an extent. Sure. I'm not completely ignorant. There are definitely people. But I'm not like, this is my lady.

I take care of my lady. No, definitely not. I know I have pride in the sense there are certain people I would never take money from. I would never want to be beholding to certain people. My, I don't know about that.

Yeah. I guess If you're down bad you take money from whoever If this is like a luxury Or like you are You're like no I can work it out myself I would never want to be indebted to certain people But as a parent

Like if I want to give my daughter A present I'm fucking giving my daughter a present Yeah yeah yeah You can keep paying rent and apartment. My daughter's gonna get a house. Like, you know, in-law relationships are weird,

but you and your manhood, your toxic masculinity, pride, are not gonna stop me. I've been busting my ass for fucking 30 years to be able to make money to give my kids presents and shit. So I'm doing it. And she's taking it and i don't give you can yeah stay there or not stay there fuck you you know so like certain

people i don't even think you're in a position to turn them down i think you should have to accept that and be gracious and pay them back or whatever you decide but like to say no to that is like fuck you pal to fucking demand to be an apology yeah i mean you can't demand an apology and unless you know i sometimes these things are also ethnic like i don't know sometimes there are certain Demand Demand an apology Yeah I mean You can't demand an apology And unless You know Sometimes these things Are also ethnic Like I don't know Sometimes there are

Certain cultures Where this can get weird And if there was If you sat down to lunch And the father was like Well since You know If it's meet the parents

Type shit Well since fucker The nurse over here Can't pay for a house I'll swoop in And save you again Then it's like Fuck you

But if these are just Like nice parents Who are like, we know times are tough and we commend you for chasing your dream, for being a doctor, let us help out, get over yourself. It's not like you're a fucking deadbeat. You're going to be a doctor. You're going to be a doctor.

You'll be all right. Yeah, and pay it back. If I was. Money is weird, man. People are like, you know, like people are just like so ashamed to ask for money or ask for help or whatever it's it's a weird thing yeah but you're gonna be a doctor yeah you're gonna be a doctor i do find it weird where like uh we were talking about like if you were a

billionaire would you hook your friends up and it's like if i get like big money i would feel like obligated to hook people up i wouldn't an. I'd be like an asshole if I don't. It would be – I would do it more subtly than, like – Yes. I'd do it fucking Clooney style. Yes. Clooney's set. Like, make a cool duffel bag, like, whatever. Have some drinks.

Yeah. When you guys leave, there's a security team to drive you home. It's because you're all taking whatever million you gave with them. I think, you know, it would be cool – I don't whatever million he gave with him. I think it would be cool. I don't know if it was a million. I think it was several hundred thousand. Maybe a million. I think it was over a million.

Because it was after Cosmigos, right? It was after Cosmigos. Yeah, so it probably was a million. Yeah, like, let's have fun. You guys have a fucking... 14 friends got $1 million cash each. Yeah. That's just the way you do it.

I wonder when he told that story if the IRS was like... You can't just give Give out 14 million dollars You can right You just have to pay the taxes on it I think they have to pay the taxes on it though Yeah but Can't he like Give them money again

Yeah Like it's almost like When Oprah gave away cars And people were like Well we can't put the taxes on this So then Oprah like Paid the taxes Yeah but then

You know it's like Like eventually the IRS Has to stop catching you Giving gifts out Yeah Cause you gotta pay taxes On the gift for the taxes You know then You know it's like Eventually the IRS Has to stop catching you Giving gifts out Yeah Because you gotta pay taxes On the gift for the taxes

You know what I mean That's true I would What I would do I would come up With squid games Obviously not to the death But I would make my friends

Compete And have a winner And then at the end Be like you all get it But have some fun with it Oh no No no no Because you would

Ruin some friendships You'd ruin Some friendships and shit You would ruin Some friendships along the way But You gave me a fucking Bag of rocks When I thought it was the marbles

I thought you were being Nice to me dude Yeah kinda cool though Kinda cool You find out which Your friends are really The cool guys Which are pretty much

Bloodthirsty motherfuckers I would do something Fun like that Did you see Mr. Beast Did squid games Like if this was a few Months ago I did yeah

And it was for like You know For like 400 Whatever I don't know I think it was for like 40 million dollars

Probably that guy No I think it was Like 400 grand Yeah 456 Because I was The total number of people But he just Kind of recreated

Like the actual stuff In real life So it was still like Just exploding blood packets And shit Like I thought it was Going to be a little 25 minutes,

the whole video. Yeah. Yeah. They do like really like jump cut. Yeah. Because really when you think about it,

like a lot of it's just like we don't need to watch people play. That's true. We don't care about the emotional investment into this. I mean,

we don't need to watch tug of war, you know? I'm surprised it got this big. I guess he's my monster, but. Oh, I'm not surprised.

That's the hottest game in the world. That was a great idea. Much, much later. It came out fairly recently, right? November 24th. Oh, okay. That's the kind of shit I would do if I was rich.

I wouldn't do this barstool shit with all these fucking girls who are causing problems. I would make everyone my puppet. Turn you all into fucking reality TV show freaks. Like that new show Too Hot to Handle, that's the one where you can't fuck or you lose the money. Okay. I would just come up with things like that.

You know, like, let's get them in a room, let's get them in a house together. Why don't you do that? Let me do it. We should. Let's get some fucking money and make some prizes.

I bet if we call it good enough, we can do one. Yeah. Yeah, because they're not that complicated. I bet if we call it good enough We can do one Yeah Yeah cause they're not that complicated I don't think I'm good At coming up with these I think that as long as You just come up with like

You know get sexy people In a room And there's just like a Ooh that's hard to do That's hard to control yourself Yeah It'll work It'll work

You can't talk for a fucking Eat gross food and not puke Yeah It's like We'll just do Lover in the Bar But it's like You get hundreds of thousands of dollars Alright voicemails Voicemails are brought to you by Simply Safe puke. Yeah, it's like, we'll just do Lover in the Bar, but it's like, you get hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Alright, voicemails. Voicemails are brought to you by SimpliSafe. Our boys are back. Our friends at SimpliSafe have a new holiday deal with 20% off their award-winning home security. So, you're going to have to pay to keep your loved ones and your belongings safe. You might as well do it now when you can get 20% off.

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and go back to my old life which i don't have to rediscover um probably typhoon department yeah typhoon department was something i'm interested in. Yeah, that was before the internet was mean to me. No long-term contracts or commitments. You start the new year off right with a peace of mind and knowing that everybody's safe and sound without breaking the bank. 20% off your SimpliSafe security system and your first month free when you sign up for the interactive monitoring system by going to SimpliSafe, S-I-M-P-L-I

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Voicemails, let's go. Hey, KFC, Feidelberg, the whole crew. I am coming at you because I had a top five. I don't do Twitter or even Instagram anymore, honestly, but Road Trip was on the other day, and I was like, I haven't watched this movie in so long, but I used to have it on DVD, and we would play it like over and over and over, or VHS, I can't remember, and I was just thinking of how many movies like we actually used to always own, and they would just always be on so like what's your top five dvds or vhs's that you had that were always on like i remember the other one was stuck on you

i think we rented it never took it back and it just played like every day uh that's a great question uh because i feel like everybody had i don't know about top five but i feel like everybody had like a one like when i I was in college, my roommate put Boiler Room on every single night and would fall asleep to it within five minutes. Really? I think it took him like the entire senior year of college to watch Boiler Room. Boiler Room is an interesting one. Yeah. He like loved it but always passed out immediately and I was like, oh my god, we're still watching this fucking movie.

The Chappelle Show DVDs was a big one for me. She's saying in college specifically? No, for me that was back when DVDs were... Oh, okay. Princess Bride was a big one. DVD? No, it was VHS.

VHS is a whole different story for me. VHS is going to be like childhood stuff for me. Sword in the Stone and Robin Hood from Disney. Braveheart. DVD would be Chabelle Show DVD. Girls Gone Wild. Laguna Beach. Laguna Beach.

I feel like DVDs I think of more of TV shows. Yeah. I remember a girl I was dating had the new. The Patriot was a big one. Newlyweds was on DVD. Newlyweds. Oh, Jessica Simpson. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Great TV. Just a dumb hot girl and a husband making fun of her. That was like KC Radio before KC Radio. But Boiler Room was a big movie one for sure. And Girls Gone Wild. The Girls Gone Wild DVD was awesome. I never saw any Girls Gone Wild. Oh, it's great.

I'm sure I saw the commercials, obviously, but I never had a friend who had it. I went to a bar where Girls's Gone Wild was at once. Thirsty Turtle in White Plains. Show up. The Girl's Gone Wild bus is out there. What were they giving people? What were they giving chicks? I don't know, because I was kind of like...

Was it really for t-shirts? Probably not. I don't know. I think it was very rapey. I went to the bathroom, and Ron Jeremy was in the bathroom. I peed next to Ron Jeremy. Whoa. That's pretty cool. Did he pee? I couldn bathroom. I peed next to Ron Jeremy. Whoa. Sneaky.

I couldn't. I tried. He's got the belly. But I mean, I can tell you what it looks like. You can pull it up. Maybe you photoshopped it. I want to see someone in person. I saw it on the internet. I never got his appeal. I actually couldn't tell you what his dick looked like was he always looking like that yeah he always had like the gross facial hair and a big

fat belly he was always fat he was never like i mean maybe like way back in like the 70s but by the time i was like coming of age and watching him he was gross he also raped everybody everybody he got like 80 counts right Super rape it Super rape Yeah Yeah yeah We should have like Saw that one coming Yeah yeah We probably should have

Locked him up way longer But yeah let us know Tweet at us What was your go to DVD In your collection It was definitely We had that one summer Where we did

It was just Chappelle's show On Laguna Beach But for some reason I still don't know Laguna Beach that well Real quickly Do you want to give a shout out

To Chief Who has never been more on the right side of an argument Than Unwritten Oh, yeah, what was it? It was like party songs, like songs to get the party going He said Unwritten And he got like crucified By the fucking inbreds in Chicago

The heathens Who apparently never fucking listened to music or go to a party ever in their life And now you see unwritten is like people put it over memes and fucking songs. Unwritten is banged. And I got, I was late to the party

on that. Had I saw that when they were arguing it, I would have been all about it. I would have been like, no, this is a good fucking pick. But I was late to the party. It's got perfect build-up. Yes, it's... By the end, you sound like a dog. Yeah, the buildup is fucking tremendous.

So I think he caught heat for that, and I know the Barada gang is out there celebrating that, but yeah, he was big time right on that one. Fuck, what was I just going to say there, too? We got derailed there a little bit um so i tracked for sure yeah i don't know i don't know i had something let's go to the fucking uh nick offerman here all right kfc fights uh a little drop right now don't mind that also uh don't mind the sauna it It is not a growing fucking tent.

Anyways, so I'm kind of a big believer in the fake it till you make it mantra. And I might have taken it a little too far. So over the years, I've worked the company that I work at now for about four years. Started out as a laborer, kind of worked my way up to supervisor, and right now I'm the assistant to the department head. I kind of faked my way all the way up. I legitimately

really don't know what I'm doing at all. Couldn't even really give you a brief description of my job. This week I was sitting in my department head's office, and he dropped the bomb on me that he will be leaving on february 1st and i was like all right that kind of sucks i like working with him so whatever uh hope the guy that replaces him isn't a dickhead or anything like that so

and then he drops another bomb on me that he went to his boss and recommended that I take over for him, uh, because it would save the company money by not hiring somebody that's qualified or something like that, because I legitimately have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. So, uh, yeah, I guess my question is is have you guys ever just kind of backed yourself into a corner or like faked your way into a situation where you were just absolutely fucked from jump street let me know you're looking at it bro look at this studio we have yeah like every damn day dude we are yo i actually had this conversation with my brother recently. We were just talking about the industry and fans and mental health, all this shit.

And I was kind of saying how a lot of the people we probably could compare to podcast-wise are like great comics, know like really funny fucking people and i was kind of like uh how are we supposed to compete with that you know and he was like and long story short he basically was saying like you know a guy like chris de stefano they were bringing up i was like he's just so fucking funny you know and he's like honed his craft over the years and all that and my brother was like yeah you did none of that. And you have a podcast that's right there on the same level as his. And I was like, shit. We kind of just skipped all the hard work part.

And there's a ceiling for us of course that we can't do, but we kind of have been totally faking it until we make it this whole fucking time. We didn't do any of the work. When we hear about all these comics and shit, we're like, we ate shit for 35 years and now we finally have some success with these comics and shit We're like we ate shit for 35 years And now we finally have some success

With the podcast and selling tickets And we just were like Oh well we just were like talking about stuff For a few years before that started happening We did a podcast no one listened to Yeah we did that for a while Yeah you know I mean we ate shit for a little bit We didn't have to watch

We also we had like a regular job Yeah And then that was The other thing we did Where it was like We podcasted But no one listened to it Right And we were just like

Growing out on the side But it is funny It's just like yeah We didn't have to do any of that And now we're in the same sentence As some of these people And they're way more talented Than we are

But This guy I fucking love this guy I think I think we should blur his face out I think we should have him on I think we should hire him Cause I think

He First of all Bro Let's talk about this guy. Let's talk about this description. He began saying he was a laborer. What the fuck is that? What do you mean a laborer? That is the most broad description I've ever heard in my life.

A laborer is just like a fucking guy. If you're working for the Chinese Republic, I'm a laborer. No, I've been a laborer before. And what'd you do? Like I was like the guy who went and like picked up tools and shit. That's what I mean.

This is fucking like, a laborer can be construction, it can be fucking digging ditches, it can be a miner, you can be, you're just doing manual labor somewhere,

but I don't know what the fuck you're doing. And then, and then to, to. The blazer is quite a look. The blazer over the hoodie is amazing. That's think that's one of those mid 2000s i think that's one of those like zip up saunas that he was talking about right yeah it is he said he's like no i'm not growing

weeds so you just go inside of it and you sweat like 120 degrees it's like a fucking psycho i here's what I think I would do. I think we're so brainwashed from the employer-employee relationship that we, especially when we're faking it, put this like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm nervous. I'm going to mess up.

And then what's going to happen? Someone's going to be mad at you. Someone's going to yell at you. Worst case scenario is you get fired from a job and you don't even know how the fuck to do it. And that's where you have to, you think that you've taken fake it till you make it too far. You've just begun.

Now's where you got to kick it into high gear and be like, yeah, I'll take that fucking job. Because guess what? That guy leaving, he doesn't know how to fucking do the job either. And the guy who is above him, replacing, who has to hire this person, he doesn't even know

what this job entails. So when he hears that he can just hire this guy and save some money, he's going to go, that sounds good because the guy above me doesn't know what the fuck's going on

but as long as I tell him that I'm saving money, I'm good to go. So as long as you tell me that you can handle it and then you fucking make some shit up. And who cares?

Nobody cares. Wait, how come you guys are so supportive of this guy? We're very supportive of you. Fuck up! This guy is brilliant. He snakes it. Nobody knows that he's even doing it. The situation that Kevin's describing just happened to you.

Where it's like, you fucked up, you yelled at it a little bit, and you didn't get yelled at at all. Nothing even happened. Also, this is where people have done this to me my whole life when I started MailTime. They were like, totally MailTime, bro. Yesterday I just blew off work and I got fucking fired, man. It was awesome. That's not the message. The point

is to do this and nobody knows. Everybody thinks that you're competent, but you're not. So when your microphone's not on, you got caught. It would be more like if you turned the microphone off and found a way to get around it. That would have been faked until you make it. Instead of just getting clipped by a buzzsaw the next day. If you ever thought like you faked it until you made it too far, remember.

That's the time to double down. Our last president had never done anything political ever. And he just got up there. Every single day. Whether you were a fan of him or not, you have to admit he faked it until he made it. And every single day, he had a catastrophic event that was a career ruiner, life ruiner. Like rape charges and shit that just never – it just disappeared. He was – I was afraid that didn't happen was i'm telling i still i still think i guess we can't do anything about that it's it's like when dukes was like i'm

the dumbest person ever and dave was like all right well go for a little bit and see you see you later you know like you donald trump will go down as the most inspirational president of all time for all the wrong reasons because he just taught me and he should have taught you that as long as you just say it with confidence everyone else will just fall in line because i guarantee this fucking laborer job isn't fucking anything you were labor now you have a sauna in your house and you're wearing a blazer keep it going that guy shows up in a blazer over a hoodie and everyone goes well the, the boss is here. Oh, man. And he walks in and says, hey, guys, we gotta get more efficient

with the hours so that the budget cuts make it. And they go, alright. I mean, nobody cares. Nobody knows. There's like five people

in every company That matter And the rest Really don't You know Like yeah Eventually you're gonna get To like a CEO

The rest is just To keep the unemployment down Yeah right I mean like Elon Musk Can't have people In the streets all day That's crazy town

A guy like Elon Musk Like Jeff Bezos Just like Kind of like retired From Amazon Like nothing changed You know what I mean Did he

He like stepped down From That's why I think He's fucking Pitbull now He's like I'm out here And I'm mean? Did he? He stepped down from... That's why I think he's fucking pitbull now. He's like, I'm out here and I'm trying to have fun. He stepped down from whatever his current position was and he's kind of in a lesser role or whatever,

but it doesn't matter. Fucking Steve Jobs died. Nobody cares. Slide in another nerd. It's like, as long as there's a couple people that matter and the rest is just plug and play. I like how the two you went with who don't matter were those two. Probably the two that are the most influential of all time.

Absolutely. I'm sure there were some changes at the company once they decided to leave. Look at that. He quit his job and everyone's like, yeah, it ended up saving the company. What? Yeah, okay. Jeff Bezos stepped down as CEO to save it from destroying himself okay what are we talking this sounds like it might be in the washington post yeah i mean we're just

making things up here so uh all right last one what do we got what's up kfc radio gang uh be easy on me as my first video voicemail uh i got a little bit of a story slash question for you i was listening to the episode this week where the guy called in about the vasectomy, which by the way, he is an absolute fucking lunatic to think that it's easily reversible. Would not fucking do it. Absolutely not. So I recently got a vasectomy. I went in, did the consultation, went to the back, which actually was pretty quick, kind of weird. They lay you out, you take your pants off, they clean your balls, all that shit, and they get going. Right before he made the cut, I asked him, there was a bunch of nurses in the room and the doctor,

I asked him, hey, while you're in there, do you think you could add a couple inches? Which I was legitimately asking, thinking anatomically, they already have your balls open. There's got to be something they can fucking stretch out or something. And the nurses and doctor laughed me out of the fucking room. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there waiting for a fucking answer. So just wanted to ask, what is a time that you've asked someone a legitimate question and they just completely laughed you out of the fucking room thinking you were joking. That's a great question.

And by the way, Jackie, if you're looking for a firefighter paramedic with a mild dad bod and a vasectomy, I'm good. Let's blur out this guy's name on his fucking chest, by the way. So you're going to fuck this guy, name on his fucking chest by the way so you gonna fuck this guy Jack?

you can't get pregnant that's a plus great question also kind of a great thing to happen if you roll with it like for instance on the Kevin Clancy show I was talking about Neil Young and I was talking about how I was like who the fuck is Neil Young anyway

you sung Sweet Caroline and you think that you're hot shit, confusing him with Neil Diamond, but the point was that nobody even knows who Neil Young is. So people were like, ah, I get it. You didn't even, yeah, you know, you mixed those two up on purpose. I'm like, yeah. Yeah, definitely. I thought it was

Bob Dylan, so. Yeah, so point stay is no one knows who Neil Young is. But when you can if you if you're quick enough to just be like aha like Costanza like ah thank you good night yeah joke about my dick being bigger but also well yeah answer fuck there's I mean I guess you know period poops guys period poop would probably be a good one yeah really embarrassing my last one happened five minutes ago um but I'm trying to but also very lucky because if it wasn't five minutes ago I wouldn't remember it.

I'm trying to think if I... As I was reading that, I was thinking about I probably embarrassed myself in front of a girl at some point with something physical or anatomical or whatever. But I can't really think of it.

It's a good question. It's a unique experience. It's a unique experience. It's like a TV show worthy experience. I also... Curb would write an episode about this. I'm shocked that a paramedic

was just like, can you fucking add inches to my dick? Yeah. My fucking VODs deference is open anyway. Nice. The...

Like a paramedic should... I would... He should know enough. I would know you can't just fucking... Like put a is open anyway. Nice. The, like a paramedic, I would. You should know enough. I would know you can't just fucking. Like put a Lego in there. Yeah. Give me a couple inches. Goose it up a bit.

Yeah. I think. Crank it with like a jack. Yeah. I was going to call this paramedic back with some medical questions myself. I think I'm going to call a different one. I think I'm going to save that for a different time. Oh, I think one time...

Can I have a raise? I think one time I thought if I were to take medicine and then shit that it would come right out. And I didn't realize it has to go through your stomach.

Well, that happened very recently where you were like, well, you didn't think cum tasted different. And I was like, I don't think eating fruit makes your cum taste better. And you were like, well, it makes your piss. Yeah, I still don't think that. I don't think that matters that much. It does.

You swallow a lot of cum? I've had some dried mangoes on the Amtrak and then gotten home and had some sex and dude, I've been like, good cum. I feel like that's more, my thought on that would have been more like, that's macro, not micro. Like if you eat really bad for a long time or eat really good if you're healthy for a long time. But like if I eat Entenmann's all the time, if I have a fucking fruit today, I don't think

my cum's changing. That was my point. I think it might. But the other thing I was going to say is, yeah, I had that happen on the hospital at Christmas type deal where it was – I got medicine shoved up my ass. And they were like, don't shit that out. Well, that makes sense though because it's in your ass and it's going to come out. But this is – it goes into your ass and it's going to come out. But it goes into your stomach and not your colon.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I take two Tylenol right now and then shit, it's in my stomach, not in my ass. It's in there for a while. Yeah. But I cleared that up. Not in my ass. But I don't think I ever asked that, I think. It's not in my ass right now.

The good thing is now you Google a lot of shit real quick. The world is lacking a lot of shame these days because it used to have to be like you asked a question or you said something stupid in front of people and they shamed you out of the room for you to learn. One of the greatest lies teachers ever told you, and there were a lot of them. Like you're not going to have a calculator.

It's a dumb question. Oh, there sure is, Ms. Sperling. Big time dumb question. Oh, yeah. Oh, there sure is, Ms. Sperling. Big time dumb questions. When my sister asked me, what animal do potatoes come from? I said, you are dumb. When Jonathan Ross in sixth grade asked if rocks were alive, the whole class was like, oh, you are actually retarded, man. I mean, yeah, you can ask dumbass questions.

But that's what I mean. We don't have that shame anymore because people will go, Rock's alive? Yeah. Let me just Google that real quick, you know? Yeah. Google is making us weak. I was letting that one go. All right. Interview time. was making us weak i was letting that one go uh all right interview time donnell rollings one of my favorite interviews we've done in a long time awesome interview insightful emotional funny uh

you know unique different all of it uh great interview it's brought to you by Masterworks. So, shockingly, especially if you've been watching Davy Day Trader, there's people who work under the assumption that stocks go up. It's not just stocks that go up over time. Art can go up over time, too. Art can appreciate. And as I used to understand it, like, art was only for rich people like fucking Steve Cohen. Like, you know, you have to have billions of dollars to invest in art. The last Picasso painting, how much do you think the last Picasso sold for? $6,400.

$103 million. That's a 1,400% increase from when it was originally auctioned in 1997, which was when Picasso was born. No. No, he died in the 70s. Almost half of it. He died in the 70s. Almost had to die. But here's the thing. Now we live in a world where you don't have to buy the whole $103 million Picasso.

You can invest in paintings by using Masterworks. It's the billion-dollar tech company that analyzes a ton of data to find out great paintings, which ones are going to be investable, and then you can do that on their platform. So the same way you want to buy into a company and hope it goes up, you can now buy into some art. And you can be a fancy art owner the same way that the high society people are. And I suggest you do that because art is a fucking scam.

It is a tax evasion scam. And so rich people will always make sure that art stays valuable. So you should get in on that. Early investors get a net IRR. You know what that stands for, John? No. Give me a guess. We're talking about finance and it's a percentage.

Something revenue return. What? Something revenue return.. Something revenue return. What? Something revenue return. Initial revenue return. Would you say initial revenue return? It's, now I can't remember it. Hang on. It's the, don't anybody else say it.

The internal rate of return. Internal rate of return. That was close though. That was good. That was closer than I thought you were going to get. 30%. An IR. Of 30%. An IRR of 30%. Actually, can somebody check that on me?

What is it? In 2020 and 2021, from the sale of two paintings, early investors got a net return of 30%. So you guys can putz around. Yeah, internal rate of return. That's what I said, right? Yeah. Yeah. So get down with Masterworks.

You can get all priority access by logging on to masterworks.com. Nope. By logging on to masterworks.art slash KFC. Join over 300,000 users. That's masterworks.art slash KFC. See important disclosures at masterworks.io slash disclaimer. This sounds like a light switch Lou type of thing. Yeah.

Like something where people who got in on this are going to retire by the time they're like 28. And they're going to be like, Masterworks, bro. I sold Picassos when I was 25. So don't be the idiot who misses out on millions of dollars in the art world. Go to masterworks.art slash KFC now. Don L. Rawlings on KFC Radio. In Florida and all these places where they don't fuck with no mask, and then you go to a mask place, they make you feel uncomfortable, man.

Dude, I was in Vermont this weekend getting yelled at because here it's kind of just like you have to act your good, do whatever the fuck you want. I was in Vermont this weekend. This one is me. This one. This one. Like fighting with ski lift attendants because

you know i was skiing like your mask falls down when you're skiing i'm like dude i am in as open as there can be i know give me a for a second i was shopping the other day and i was going to check out it was at one of those clothing places this bitch had excuse my language nah don't worry about it. Let her rip. She's heard way worse. Not to say not bitch in a bad way. In a good way. I mean, in a neutral way. Not in a bad way like, I'm going to smack a bitch. You know what I'm saying?

But just how she made me feel. So this is like plexiglass here. This bitch got a double mask on. Plexiglass right here. Right? We five feet away. This motherfucker coming to my space talking about,

could you please wear a mask when you're standing beside me? And I said, could you please get the fuck when you're standing beside me? And I said, could you please get the fuck out of my face? Yeah, you know what's worse than the fucking mask is getting in my shit.

How much do you give a fuck about? Yeah, man. And the reason I'm saying that, bitch, you got two masks on, right? You don't know who you're talking about. You don't say,

you don't know if I'm a motherfucker that's got PTSD. For real. You don't know if I'm gonna be a motherfucker that's flip out. Bitch, who you talking to?

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. For real. You're talking about your own fucking going to be a motherfucker to flip up. Bitch, who you talking to? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. For real. You're dealing with your own fucking health issue. Yeah, you know what's way worse than fucking this mass shit is getting in people's faces in New York. You don't know what the fuck's about to happen. Right. But I'm like, man, I'm so like, I'm not going to answer anything, but I do have COVID fatigue. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what I mean. I'm not going to do anything to put anybody at risk or whatever, but I'm just fucking over it. I'm just saying, my life is risk. Yo, I'm telling you straight up. Yeah. Yo, I love it. Let me tell you something.

I was like, bro, I came in here with a fake back card. Y'all have it. I'm giving it to you right now. I won't put you in intentional risk, but there's a chance that you could be at risk. Yeah, but that's my point. There's a chance everyone could be at risk. It's like, fuck it. Yeah, I'm like, come on.

Enough. Enough. I say my new shit, I'm going to tell people. When I meet somebody, they're going to say, this is how you shut shit down. Motherfuckers say, you got COVID. And if your response is, man, I don't know. Why try to think you get your six feet? Your motherfuckers Can start moonwalking

Past your ass I'm just gonna stay over here What I can't stand Is the people who are Acting With the same level Of like Crazy fear and shit

From the beginning As now It's totally Fucking different now You know what You are 100% right And the reason I can understand

I still can understand The concern now But it can understand the concern now. But it's a different concern now. Yeah, it's different. We have a better way of testing. We have shit you can do. In the beginning, it was. At the beginning, it was just like.

Motherfuckers are dying. But now, and now, yeah. And when you're talking in the beginning, no vax, no nothing. Right. It was just like, yo, I'm just going to chill. You get it, you're fucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And even with that said, people say, I never went. I didn't. You know, like, yo, I'm just going to chill. You get it, you're fucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And even with that said, people say, I never went.

I didn't, you know people like, I'm inside? I was outside the whole time. The whole time? Not even the very beginning? Bro, I was, the beginning, I was holding my breath every time I stepped outside. I'm going to tell you, I was outside. When I say outside, not engaging people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But like, it was a, in LA, it was a certain level of peace that you had. Like, going out. Right, because everyone was inside. So you could go outside. Everyone was inside. So I was like, my thing was, I would go to, like, a different beach every morning. I would do a live from there. Nobody around me in here.

But I'm like, I'm not going to motherfucking stay in the house when it's all this fucking nature and shit out here. Yeah. Especially nice weather. Yeah. You're going to the beach and shit. I was staying inside here because it was cold. It was winter. and shit out here. Yeah. Especially nice weather. Yeah. You're going to the beach and shit. I was staying inside here because it was cold. It was winter. It was fucking.

It's different. Yeah. But I'm talking about being able to give yourself two blocks in front of anybody. Nowhere near you. You mean to tell me I need to stay in the house for that shit? Yeah. Especially, I'm beefing my baby mother. Yeah.

I'm out. I'm outside. I'd rather get COVID. I am. I'd rather get COVID. I swear to God, man. I'll come home like, uh-huh.

That shit ain't gonna work. Uh-huh. Yo, I'm divorced and I remember saying if I was still married for the last couple years, so I'm like,

if I was still married during the fucking... Yo, I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you, if you wanna get fucked like hard with no like backlash, if you want to get fucked hard, with no backlash, no why you didn't call me, you find a recently divorced, whether it's a man or a woman, they're

going to fuck the shit out of you. And usually, I know this is going to be kind of tough, usually when it comes to white women, this is what happens. You already know. When a white woman Is recently divorced It's black dicks Yo It's black dicks

It is no other Dicks It's black dicks It's no other Dicks No other dicks And I just say It's different than dicks

But it's black Oh it's definitely Different than dicks Bro It's get back For the husband It's get back For all these years

I suppressed my jungle fever. Because I love you. Now it's Tyrone. It's Daryl, Dante. It's Popeye's spicy chicken. It's all that type of shit. Dude, we've been saying on the show, Black Dick's on the come up. In the porn world.

Wait, wait, come up. What do you mean come up? That never fell off. Bro, bro. Black Dick never fell off. You weren't getting front page news with it. It was known. You know why?

I'll tell you why. Racism. Racism. People are raping. It was. When you did Bang Brothers, your rate went down. I mean, now like. You're right. You're dude, blacks.com is now one of the top sites. Yeah.

You're right. I have to agree. I didn't know where you were going with that, but I had to agree. I was going to land the plane. I got nervous for a second. I was like, I think I got this. Yeah, it was like, and, like, if you did, it's like, once you do your first black joint, you're like, here's the funny thing about porn for me is how the acting is so horrible because you got a chick okay this is very gross you have a chick that's gaping

you gotta hear this woman say, is this your first time? Yeah. With a human? It was horses before that. Is this your first time with a human? Yes. I answer the question the way you asked me. You asked me, is this my first time with a human? Yes.

But with a Clydesdale or anything like that? That's where my experience lies. Hence, gaping? That lies. Hence gaping. That is. Gaping, you get like you're a professional athlete with that muscle control. Yeah. You know what the fuck's up.

Gaping is a whole different level. Can you get ungaped? I bet after a long time. It's a surgery or some shit. Yo, if you cough, you're shitting on yourself, son. With no resistance. Some of those girls have got to be walking around at risk all

day long. Amber Rain, she sneezes, it's falling out the back. I remember reading an article a long time ago by Amy Brooke. It was an interview with her. It felt like I was reading an article

with a 90s linebacker talking about like look i know what my future holds i don't give a fuck right she's like i know the risk she's like she's like i know i'll be wearing a diaper by the time i'm 45 i don't give a shit but the funny thing for me is like like i guess the way they get credibility you can't just say you do porn you gotta say porn star sorry That's always a big question. My question, how many penises do you have to go through to be a star? To go from the amateur ranks to the star?

I don't know. I don't know if it's a number of penises as much as it's a number of like how many people watch you. You know what I mean? Like if you, like Lana Rhodes is a porn star who was only a porn star for one year. You know what,

only white people know first and last names of their porn stars. We be like, did the bitch with the fat ass? Y'all be like, you remember Amber Jamison, right? You mean Big Buck Amber? Yeah,

y'all know her first and the last name. I don't want to use a race card, but white people know their porn stars. We know our porn. There's a chick who now does sports shows, Mia Khalifa. She was in the show for one year. Yeah. And she didn't do anal.

She fucked a couple guys. And she was number one, and she's a porn star. I was like, normal girls fuck more than this chick. No, porn star. But you know the argument they make if you talk to them. I'm like, well, we get tested more than anybody chick. You know how boys are. But they are you know the argument they make if you talk to them I'm like well

we get tested more than anybody else and I do understand that but I don't want to have to get tested that much. You know what I'm saying? Yeah you do 10 dicks where's the next test?

How many penises did you get this week? Yeah. Yeah you gotta get tested. I mean that's a pretty good point I guess. It's like yeah you're getting tested

but in between those tests are 40 dicks. Yeah. It would take me years to get tested. It's the same thing, you're getting tested. Yeah, I don't ever get tested. But in between those tests are 40 nicks. Yeah. It would take me years to catch up with those tests. It's the same thing with COVID testing and shit. The reason why you – I know, you know, Floyd, we don't want to test. But I kind of understand that. Understand what?

Not testing? Yeah, well – Oh, like not testing? Like anything bad? You know how you talk to somebody and they're like, oh, I never had it. Right. But then I think that there are a lot of people that have had COVID, but because they're not around people, because some people, you know, like people that don't go out anymore, it's a chance that what they thought was a cold could have been COVID. Right.

But they did what the reason why you quarantine, you had it to test out and be negative. So I think the testing is just interesting. And I think that it chalks so much up to anything. A motherfucker is 95 years old and they said he died of COVID. No, that motherfucker died of O.A. She died of being 95. No, but it's just so interesting. CDC changes their shit every week.

Well, that's why when people are getting on Rogan, they get on... Everybody's been wrong throughout the whole thing. Up to the fucking scientists. The reason why, because nobody really... If some... You still don't know. I've had it twice. But you really never know exactly

how you got it. You know what I'm saying? Sexually tremendous disease, you know exactly how you got it. Like, oh, I know which bitch that was. Yeah, I was. And you'd be like, this bitch, I don't believe you did that to me. I believed you. That is true.

I'm cleanish. I'm cleanish. When I had COVID, I was like, ah, I could have been here, could have been there, could have been there. When I could have been here, I could have been there, I could have been there. When I've had burning piss, I knew exactly who to call. But once you get COVID, like, even if you were never good at math or anything, you start doing COVID math. The minute they say positive, you say attitude, yes.

But then you say, okay, so I'm going to test positive on Monday. That means I had it four days before. So according to the CDC, CDC, I'm good. But the problem is going to happen, and the reason why CDC probably changed the guidelines is that you're not going to be able to stop people. You got somebody that's asymptomatic, right? And no symptoms, no nothing. Then there's a certain time frame, they say, where it's very transmissible. If I'm saying it wrong, correct me.

Don't make fun of me when I leave. Just do it right now. Transmittable. Transmittable. He's talking about the transmission in his COVID test and shit. But it's going to be a point like this. You're not going to be able to stop people from working, especially if you don't feel bad.

I understand where you could pass it, but then that's where it's going to be personal responsibility. It's going to have to come down to what are you going to do to protect yourself. And for the people that make the argument, I'm not getting vaxxed or whatever, I don't care, but people make the argument, well, I don't give a fuck. Here's what it's going to be. It's going to change, but it's going to be Vax versus the non-Vax. And the Vax people are going to get a better opportunity at a different quality of life.

It's just period. You got an employer that sits up there. You're like, yo, I'm not getting vaccinated. You got this line. People are not getting vaccinated. Then you got this long line wrapped around the corner. There's people that are vaccinated that want to work. So the non-Vax, sorry, but until we figure this out, just go in the back of the line.

That's what it's going to be. You don't have to get it, but there's just going to be. I lost a huge gig New Year's Day. And that's like, for a comment, it's like one of the biggest days. New Year's Day. Really? Yeah, and I tested positive like six days out of the show. Asymptomatic or whatever.

Because whenever I travel I travel like I was in like two countries like three states probably within two weeks so just for myself always give myself a PC go get a PCR when I come back and I had no symptoms I just let me and I was so confident oh yeah it was gonna come back negative I was like you do you feel like because if you were asymptomatic you wouldn't have tested, you wouldn't have known. Yeah, I'm going to tell you what I thought about it. The crazy thing about it was, I was like, and that was just my own money I spent. It's like, you know, I'm in the business. So you get PCR'd all the time.

You know, you're not working in Hollywood without a PCR test. But I was like, okay, I'm going to do it. Right? And I had that gig that Friday. And I was like, man, fuck that. Do I want to know? I said, what's the right thing? The reason why I said that

is because it's one thing if I had symptoms, but I wasn't feeling nothing, bro. I was like, do I want to go? I'm good. I said, I pulled up in front of him and I was like, man, you got this gig coming up. Do you need?

I was like, what are you talking about? You know it's going to be negative. Man. So if you could go back, would you have still gotten that test that test knowing if you knew somehow that you were gonna get it it was gonna come back positive would you get it because like i'm not it's a tough one but he's grandma it's like i don't think i'm killing anybody anymore i think no it's a cold it was a tough one and it was a i had to make a decision because according to cdc guidelines i could have pushed it asympt Asymptomatic, no symptoms. Six days out, right?

No, five days of isolation. Right. And then the next five days, if you're going to be around people with a mask. And I was hitting that number within two hours, right? Yeah. But I said, you know, I was like, this is going to be a big argument in the next couple of years, but I don't want to be in the forefront of that argument. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Not worth asking. And everybody't and everybody's like it was not all about the money for me cancel the gig it wasn't about the money it was about people that for four months planned to have an evening with me people just said okay i'm going to 2022 with donnell i'm a huge fan right because i always can get the money. I already pushed the date into April. But it was just, I know people say, why are you worried about that? But the most exciting thing was letting the people down that planned the evening to have fun. I feel like that was a big thing with the whole comedy industry. I mean, you guys were hit very, very hard. And the amount of people who, like, it's the same thing when you get a ticket to a football game or whatever.

A lot of people save up and pick the one date they're ready to go and like and then they can't make the reschedule or whatever so it's like the crazy thing about it it was um the blue note comedy club i'm not mistaken and um spring springfield uh missouri and like some people would say you're gonna spend uh New Year's in Springfield, Missouri. And then I was like, because, you know, most people get all excited. I'm in New York. I'm in L.A. But I was like, you know what?

It's something to be said about a comedy club and people that want to see me on that day. Is it an A room? No. Is it the best comedy club in the country? Maybe not. But they wanted me. The tickets were selling well. For sure. At the the end of the day who cares where it is at the end of the day it's like if you're celebrating with good people yeah it's a celebration so i think i'm going back

you know i'm i think march 7th march 7th through the 8th we and i was lucky enough i missed the money then but then um we came back they weren't upset. They thought morally I did the right thing. And then you go back in April and I go kill it. Knowing that I didn't come here to murder none of you motherfuckers. Right. Yo, me not going to that show, I saved your grandmother's life, motherfucker. So going back to what you said a minute ago about Big Booty Amber. And you remember this shit yeah

well dude recently on your show you made a podcast yeah you were talking about something that i think size ass size it needs to be brought more to the floor i think there's too much ass out there yo i you know what for me you're saying sizes of individual asses or like everybody's shaking their ass and showing their ass too much everything all of it just too much it's a combination and i like ass like the next man right but of it. Just too much ass. It's a combination. And I like ass like the next man, right? But here's the thing that fucks me up about it. And with women out there,

they call themselves supermodels. They're just ass models. Fitness models. Fitness models. Most of these women, they always talk about the toxic relationship they was in, how they want a man to understand and respect them, right? And I understand how you can appreciate your body, but if the only fucking attribute you want to showcase is your ass, then guess how you're going to be treated?

There's no way around it. I don't give a fuck. It's people like, yeah, what about the lawyers and doctors? If you're a doctor and lawyer and you're twerking, you know what I'm saying? First thing you introduce to people is your ass. It's going to take a while for me to get to your brain. You're going to be called Dr. Twerking.

Your name is not Lawyer Twerking. And I know all these women. I'm not saying all these women are floozy or anything. It's just that they're taking the easiest route to get recognized.

You know what I'm saying? I just want to go on the record and say that's totally fine with me. Don't listen to fucking Donatello. Shut the fuck up, Donale. Keep doing it. I went to a far... I talked about that part Donale. And then I even went to a far... I talk about that part of it.

And then I talk about too much ass. And people are going to say I'm selling out my community. Yeah, you guys... You guys? Who's a you? What are your pronouns, motherfucker? You know you guys that love watermelon. The guys that...

There are asses that you guys like that I straight up could not handle. No, but that's what, that's what's weird about me. Not weird about me, but me and my friends, we never fight over chicks when we go out. Because they be like, look at that, look at that fat ass over there. I be like, did you see that flat ass over there? Because, see, I'm looking at ass, the future of ass. And I'm telling you, the future of ass, if you start with the ones that, I'm telling you, that's in the 20s, 30s, whatever. But there's no way when they're in their 50s and 60s and shit like that, it's going to be over.

Now, you take what I call, I call them. So you're going for diamond hands. Yeah, you're in for the long haul. What was that? Diamond hands. It's like a stock thing. So you're going for diamond hands. You're in for the long haul. What was that? Diamond hands. It's like a stock thing. I didn't know about diamond hands. That's when you hold on to your stock for a long time.

So you're holding on to that ass because you know it'll be good in 30 years. And I also know that you have to have great hygiene if you're gonna add them joints they close up with no ventilation nothing you gotta have good hygiene you gotta have a bidet yeah you gotta have a bidet and you gotta i'm saying i gotta say you gotta spread them cheeks yeah but i call it i call it the ones i prefer i call it like the bathing suit ass. The ones that look, and you got women of this size. You got women that have a certain size. I call them the slimmies, and I call them slicks, slim and thick.

You know what I'm saying? Like you got the type of body that looks good in anything. It looks good in a dress. It looks good in a bathing suit. It looks good in anything. And in my community they don't really appreciate appreciate those too much but that that that's great for you that's you get the pick of the litter then right yeah i'm i'm i'm that and i'm i'm a thigh gap man too oh yeah

when girls were getting like surgeries to get the thigh gap yeah to get the thigh gap with the thigh hourglass whatever I don't even know what that surgery would entail that's just carving out your fucking flesh

yeah something about thigh gap is some that's some early 2000s shit yeah that's a throwback that's my and then somebody say yeah

yeah so he don't like a lot of ass y'all know what that mean right he like them white girls yeah and I don't like a lot of ass. Y'all know what that mean, right? He like them white girls. White girls, yeah. And I don't argue a lot. I don't argue.

I don't argue. I'm an equal opportunist. Yeah. And somebody said, so you don't take black chicks? I was like, yeah. But usually they're black chicks that was the only black chick on on the cheerleading team that's you

that's your girl usually the black chicks I fuck with is black chicks that like white guys and they hate when I show up get out of here

Don L give us out Karen we want out Amber equal opportunities I've dated them all that's fucking Give us out Karen We want out Amber Igual opportunities I've dated them all That's fucking hilarious

So let me ask you this I've been It's been hitting me How old I'm getting And how Like we have a lot of young people At this company now And I'm shocked sometimes

At the references They don't know The songs The people The shows Whatever But the one thing that i feel like everybody always knows is chappelle show it's so funny it translates white

black young old everybody knows and it's so funny because it'll be guys coming to me and they'll be like bruh i just want to say I grew up watching you yeah I want you to meet my son but it's just one of those it was just it's just like 20 19 coming close to 20 and it's so it's interesting I've done a lot of stuff but that one is just the big boy. People still like, yo, Ashley Larratt, they know it, they recognize it, right? Always. It's not even just him, it's anybody who was associated with it. I do a lot of shows

with Dave, I do a lot of shows with Joe Rogan, and those guys, they do the big boy venues, like 20,000 joints, whatever. And there's no better feeling, it's still interesting to me. The DJ, nobody knows I'm on the show. they're assuming because me and Dave are so close but you really don't know and then a guy like yo this next come and come to

stage you seen him on HBO the wire you've seen them blah blah blah blah and I get a little claps but you fell in love with him as Ashley Lurie and what I'm talking about yeah fucking 15000 to 20,000 people roaring. Like, roaring like, you know, especially white people. Yes, we love it. Get the fuck out of here. No way. White people, white guys will invite other penis to it.

Fuck me right now. They get like, fuck me, no way. Kill me, I'm dying, I'm coming back. They go nuts. And as long ago as it was, and I do a lot of stuff, and the people always ask, do you get tired of it? It's so hard to get recognized in this business for doing anything. So I embrace it.

People are like, oh, don't call me. I'm like, that was the show that, did it make me funny? No. Did I help the show? Yes. Did it give me a platform for people to see how funny I am that's what it did so I could never money it gives you know like I never could be upset with it but it's it's and I think part of it um the reason why it continues because when when I first started spell show there

was no social media there was no memes and whatever an interesting thing about the spell show is that for some reason it's a way to have some type of social assets that connect with what the show was. You know what I'm saying? It's like you always, like, even if somebody, say somebody do a funny skit, like what they do now, funny skit, and they do reaction shots. You know, something like this. Somebody gets hits. It's like this, ew, no. You'll see Charlie Murphy with the laugh. Yeah, right, ew, no. You'll see Charlie Murphy with the laugh.

Yeah, right, right, right. You'll see Dave, Lil Jon. What? Yes. You'll see, like, I'm not on your team. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? But it's just so interesting how it's continued to be a part of pop culture for two decades.

It's the only thing that I've ever watched aside from a sporting event with all my guy friends. I was in college at the time, and we would gather around on TV and watch it like it was a sporting event. So I know you're young and old at the same time, but this probably was before. Was DVR popular then? It's interesting because when— It was like TiVo and shit like that. Yeah, but you don't have shows like that. We did Chappelle's show.

It wasn't like, I'm going to stream it later. No, we watched it Sunday nights, man. That night? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got your weed, you got your beer. It was mostly the DVDs, too. You got your bitches? It was DVDs, but it wasn't really DVR.

It was like, Sunday night, it's on. We're all crowding around our little dorm TV, the same way we would watch the Knicks or whatever. And it was like part of crazy. And it's the only thing. I don't think there's ever been anything else. Like there's been popular shows, funny shit, but nothing that was like you have to watch it and we're all going to watch it together. And continues.

And the amount of shit that like kind of came true and like skits that were very like forward thinking that it was like, oh, he was doing this like, you know, 20 years ago. It was ahead of its time. Dave was ahead of his time. Neil, Michelle.elle now how pissed were you when when it all fell apart i wasn't pissed no i would be thinking i'm gonna do this for 10 seasons the reason why because on this show i never had a contract it was never like your cast member you were only as good as your last sketch so to be honest it could have ended for me anytime.

So I never looked at the future of the show. I only looked at the present. And I'm like, whether he comes back or not, what has it done for my career right now? Did you get paid per appearance? Is that how that works? No, you get paid. How did we get paid? Like an hourly thing?

It was probably weekly or something. Was it good money at that point? No, it was just like the exposure. It was it good money or at that point no no it was just like it was like well okay where i was in my career it was good money because i wasn't really making any money it was regular money it was good money then but the biggest thing it wasn't about and a lot of i know a couple of people that missed the opportunity to be a big part of that show because there was too focused on the money in this business you got to know who to hit and when to hit them yeah you know what I'm saying?

I think we was getting like $500 a sketch or an idea, something like real minimal, but the exposure you got. Like it gave me, Bill Burr, and Charlie Murphy opportunity to go on tour back in 2005 when none of us was really making no money. At the time, Bill Burr was probably a $1,000 a week headliner. And it's not being insulting, but that's just the pattern. But everybody knew he was about to blow. We did the I'm Rich Bitch Tour. I put together me, Charlie Murphy, and Bill Burr.

And at that time, it was the most money we ever made being funny consecutively. Every fucking weekend, we selling out. So I never, when he left, first thing I thought about was I hope he's okay you know what I mean because that's like mentally that's gotta be stressful to walk away

from that type of money you can do it for you whatever your moral beliefs are but then when you start getting bills and shit coming you was like

my morals aren't so important Dave was a different point I remember one time he told me he said yeah man when I left Chappelle's show, I only had $2.5 million in the bank.

I was like, okay. We got different problems. And I'm thinking about where he lives. Now, $2.5 million in San Francisco or California, you know what I'm saying? Depending on what your lifestyle is, it's not a lot of money. $2.5 million in fucking Yellow Spring, Ohio. You can fuck everybody. Everybody, Ohio, you can fuck everybody. Everybody in the town you can fuck.

There's no problem. Come over here, bitch. We going to Walmart. Yo, when I was in Yellow Springs for summer camp with Dave, I took these three girls.

I wasn't fucking them, right? But we were over there so long that we ran out of clothes. We went shopping at Marshall's. Bruh, I spent $358.92, and I had three shopping carts full of shit. Shopping carts. Like, shopping carts to the top. Yo, I could have had a quadrages, not menages.

Whatever it was for. Whatever it is for, bitches. I could have had a Quattroge, not Menage a Trois. Whatever it was for. Whatever it is for, bitches. I could have took advantage. They got dresses, shirts, fucking lemongrass candles and shit. Because you know in Marshall, you got to get something. You buying home decor for them?

No, they buy the salt shaker. Everybody has a pepper grinder because it was $9.99. But it was an interesting time, man. You have a favorite skit? Yeah, the Wayne Brady sketch. Yeah. That's my favorite sketch because of how it came about with Wayne Brady feeling he was being disrespected.

Yeah. Having a conversation with Dave. And this is the- The Don't Be Alive this was? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we did a joke. And then Paul Mooney, RIP, said Wayne Brady makes Brian Gumbel. Some shit.

Wayne Brady makes Brian Gumbel look like Malcolm X. Yeah, and I understand on Wayne Brady's side. Because Wayne Brady, and I know that's something that he deals with a lot. You know, people don't want to give credit. Wayne Brady, if I'm not mistaken, didn't have his parents growing up. He was raised by his grandma. Taught him home training, everything, right? He was a smart guy.

You know what I'm saying? Did he talk like your son, word to muffin, all that type of shit? Right. This is so fucked up in our community that you want to downplay somebody with intellect, diction, can't articulate their words. It's so fucked up in our community. You make them people feel bad. Even when growing up, I had a brother that went to Brown University at Georgetown Law.

He was smart. We used to make him feel bad for being smart. Old, old, old eight-syllable word ass motherfucker. And I know as an entertainer and in Wayne Brady's case as a black entertainer, you always want to be accepted by your people.

Yeah, for sure. And I know it's got to be a painful feeling for you to make somebody feel like their journey is any different from your journey. Right.

Your hustle is different from my hustle. He hustles, he hustles his ass off and he's a talented motherfucker. Funny as shit, dude. What he used to do on Whose Line Is It Anyway? Making that shit off the top of his head.

The dude can do anything. Sing, rap. So I can understand that frustration. I can understand the frustration. Like, I want to be accepted by my people. And then in the show you're watching, you feel like they took a dig on you. And it was probably when Wayne was like, oh, man, that's so fucked up. Yeah.

He had a conversation with Dave. And Dave felt bad about it. I guess Dave understood it, and he invited him to do the show. So even before we even get to the point of how funny the sketch was, this back story for me was amazing. Yeah, that's cool. And it was like, and to be quite honest, Wayne Brady wasn't that accepted in a black community,

in the streets, in the hoods. He's probably, I heard the streets, in the hoods. He's probably, I heard the motherfucker, paintball game is fire. They say that motherfucker got scopes, he would tear your ass up, son. Yo, my manager went for him. My manager's brother, the motherfucker came back with a black eye and everything. Is Wayne Brady going to have to shoot a bitch? Right? So for that reason first, and then it gave Wayne street credit.

Yeah. And it also showed him how versatile and dope of an actor he is. And I like that sketch too because, you know, there's not too many sketches you can say out there that are dark, that are funny. Right. Yeah, when he's killing people. But the funny thing about it, it was so funny because the scene that everybody remembers is Wayne Brady going after Choke a Bitch.

The young lady that he was saying, the woman that came up, the one that said, Hey, Dave, I like your show. She was a good friend of mine. Right. But then we trying to coach Wayne, choke a bitch. He did not want to say it. He gave us like five different alt lines. What were they? What did he want to say?

Is Wayne Brady going to have to hurt someone? You know, is Wayne Brady going to have to choke you? But it was the bitch part that was hard. But good on you guys for making him do it, because that would not have hit the scene at all. We encouraged him to listen to Too Short a little bit more. If you want to get in touch with bitch, you know, this bitch got me panning rich.

Oh, my God. I'm bringing that word back just for that goddamn Bruno Mars Anderson Park show. Yeah. But that sketch was so dope. And then I was a part of that sketch. But it was like I used to the time I was to make a lot of money

doing too much anything. So I used to go on set on my days off because I knew I'd get to get some free food and also get to possibly be in the sketch. And I went Brady sketch. I was just hanging out. Right. And Neil was like, yo,

you want to go get shot? Very interesting question to ask a black man. You want to get shot again? And I was like, yeah, alright. I went outside, we set the cameras up, and they told me what the situation was. And I was like,

oh shit, it's Wayne Brady, son. And I was like, oh, shit. It's Wayne Brady, son. And I did like this. And my arm got caught onto the gate. And it was like, that was my jacket. My arm got caught in the gate. And I was stuck. And I was just swinging.

And nobody ever, yo, if you look at that shot, bop, bop, bop, when I get shot. Yeah. When I go back. If you see, I lay back. My arm is caught. Stuck. Yeah. But I just started swinging with the shit and nobody said cut so I kept doing it and we did it one take they was like what else are we

gonna do and it's crazy because I've been a part of some dope stuff I just did um a hot show on stars called BMF Black Mafia Family that that 50 Cent is the executive producer of. All his shows are successful on the network. I just did a very popular show on BET called The 20s. Lena Waithe is the creator of it. Big names, man. Did that. I just did a special with Dave.

Not with him, but he was the executive producer that was supposed to drop in February. They have a new project on HBO called The Winning Team about the Lakers back in the 80s. This is Sports Doc. And it's been some... I've been doing... That's Adam McKay, right? Yeah. And the thing is, I've been doing... I've never

stopped doing dope shit. Those producers just left it off. Those are monster names. The Wire, Chappelle Show, I think was one of those entertainment magazines maybe like five years ago.

They did a list of the top 100 television shows in history and I was a part of two of those shows. Especially at that time period. You know what I mean? They were right around the same time really, right? It was like,

those are monster shows from that era to be a part of. There was no comic out that was doing a dramatic series and a fucking comedic series at the same time. Two different genres. Dude, even Burr, like 15 years later, whenever Burr got into Breaking Bad, I was like, oh, this is weird.

And that was 15 years later after... You said that because you knew Bill Burr as more of a stand-up and a comedian before. Interesting part, when I first started,

I was booking more acting work than comedy. And when I started coming on the comedy scene, people was like this, yo, that actor's trying

to be a comedian now. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't. It was always a comedian that was playing around with make-believe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But as I say this,

I've done some good, I've been 27 years, I've been consistent, and the thing that I promise of more is not the getting the TV opportunities, the movie shit,

that's more for your ego. It takes a long time before you start making money doing acting. But the thing that I get out of the time that I've been doing it is that every year for 27 years, as a stand-up, I feel like I get better. And I'm talking about, I don't know if anybody

ever seen me live, but we're talking about never going down. Like always like... Always getting better. Oh man, there's no way he can get funnier than this. Right. Then the next year I'll maybe find something on how to make my body more physical. He's never going to get more funny than this.

And maybe I dig down and say, okay, you're doing the physical stuff, but can your words stand alone? Like I test myself. I can add the downhill effect to any joke. Like the voice and everything. But sometimes I test myself standing straight up and be like this alright

how strong is this shit if I just say it right yeah when you have like an easy like if you like that voice is so

funny and energetic that it'll it'll get a reaction every time but do you want yeah do you want but I want a combination because it's exactly

who I am yeah yeah and that's the thing it's also like as a fan I want to hear the Don L effect you know but you don't want it to be a cr thing. It's also like, as a fan, I want to hear the Donnell effect, you know?

But you don't want it to be a crutch, but it's also like give the fans what they want. That's why I really like film TV. I'm acting.

I'm playing a character to make believe. Stand-up, I'm doing my show. But the thing I like about my podcast, The Donnell Rawlings Show, is that 45 minutes

to an hour, you get to see different sides of me you know and I've been doing this podcast for like a year year and a half you know this game I was I was I was I had it going like 67 episodes and then the world started opening back up I started going back on the road I didn't have too much time for it and I just let it go for like four months you know what that means to podcast you gotta start all over gotta keep going I came back

it's more me. I had a great interview with Steve-O the other day. It was actually funny because as you were describing your pay and your situation at Chappelle's show, that's exactly who I was thinking of. With Jackass. He was making no money. I think it was $150. Yeah, but you know what I really enjoyed about that was that I know

I took him somewhere on an interview that a lot of people don't go. Yeah. Like, okay, I know we took him somewhere on an interview that a lot of people don't go. Yeah. Like, okay, I know we could talk about all the crazy antics, but what makes you happy? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Do you feel like you were happier as a young Steve-O or now? And he kept it real. He was like, man, I would be lying to say I didn't have a good time at that time.

Because most people, like, when they're doing recovery or sobriety, they always, it's so horrible. It was so horrible. But he was like, no, motherfucker. It was awesome. I was like, you never have, have you ever got a chick do a line of coke off your dick? You know what I'm saying? You know Amber and them do it.

That's how the party starts. Steve-O was probably the one doing it. Oh, yeah, he don't have a problem with that, too. White people are so insecure. I mean, insecure with their sexuality. He's like Johnny come over here yeah yeah yeah

let me blow you we'll forget about it tomorrow you blew you sucked my dick for a beer asshole you're not wrong and then I then I interviewed

Chaz Parliamentary am I right yeah yeah I'll tell you he's a real one he's one of the last like real OG Italian guys

it made me feel so good to on your show down there what's your interview style i said i don't have no style i don't prepare which i feel like so we do some prep we do we kind of try and find a middle ground but i always wish i didn't do any prep at all because i i almost feel bad asking a guest a question that i should know like where are you from but that? But most viewers don't know. But I know.

But see, that's the thing. It's like me, I'm like this, oh, God, where are you going to? You don't even have to interview me. You can just go look up Google me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then you've got to remember that it's some people that may not know you. Right. Even when I did Chaz.

I didn't want to hear your words. Yeah, when I, Chaz, we did a podcast swap. Okay. I did his. Yeah. I did his. Yeah. He did mine. And when I first, I was like starstruck because like, man, every black person loves Bronx Tale. They love him.

Love him, all the stuff he did. So when I first met him, I was like, how you doing? He was like, okay. So when I, yo, you're a funny guy. Right? He's like, so look, I got some stuff I'm going to tee you up. You know, so I want you to win. When I interview people, I want them to be the stars.

And he said, you know, my audience, my fans are not going to know you. And I said, what? I was like, what did you just say? And he said that shit like, yo, my fans, they're not going to know you. And I heard him talk about his son, right? He said, my fans are not going to know me. They're not going to know me. They're not.

He said, I mean, maybe a couple of them, whatever. I said, you got a son, right? He said, yeah. I said, how old is your son? He said, Dante, he's 26. He looked at me like, I was like, so you're a fan of your son, right? He said, of course, yeah. I said, I'll make a bet with you right now.

$50 that he knows me. And $500 if he says, oh, shit. Right? And then he was looking like, you got to bet. So his son came to pick up at the pocket. His son's outside waiting to have come outside. So Chaz is like, yo, Dante. He's like, you coming?

He said, no. And then Chaz looked at me like this. I want you to come inside. He looked like, I want you to come inside. He was like, what? Just come inside. He came inside, right? First thing his son did like this, oh.

Chaz over the corner, right? He said, oh. Then he said, oh, shit. So I said, 550. Right? And then this was it. He's looking at me like god damn it right and then then his son said you mind

I get a picture with you I said of course if your father takes a picture so I got a picture he's got a picture of me I got a picture of his father taking a picture of the person but it was cool but it made me also realize

like you say certain people do certain things but our lives are so parallel on so many different levels yeah like okay what was my path the same as this path but there was the similarities was the hustle sure same thing with you guys do whatever absolutely that's it like It's all about the hustle. You get to a certain level of success and money, whatever, it is okay. Most people I know that's super, super wealthy, they don't talk about money. Right. Most billionaires I know, the thing they talk about- How many billionaires do you know?

I know a lot. Such a drop. How many billionaires? I probably know about 15 or 20. There's only like 100 in the whole world. I know them motherfuckers. And I've been around them. You met Elon?

You know Elon, right? Dave knows Elon. You guys are all hanging out, right? Robert Graham, Bob Johnson. I know some billionaires. You know billionaires like we know porn stars do. You know the first That last name But what I found out With them

Is that They're not interested In talking about What they got They love talking about How they got it They love talking about The path they took

And how they got there And they will remind you It wasn't I was hanging out With this billionaire In Miami Through a music And this is not

It's my friends Know these people It's not like But they meet me in the school and we were on this dude who had this fucking super yacht and everything

and all he kept on saying was it wasn't always like this it started this way we're talking about when we had that and that's the story that

there's similarities in almost anybody that has a hustler mindset you know whether it's an actor, whether it's somebody that's working for corporate America that works their way up from

the mail room to blah, blah, blah, blah, until they're doing their own shit. Everybody's got to hustle. And I've always thought that that's the most interesting thing about life, is how hard you hustle and how hard you live. I guess that does make sense, because you think it's on a completely different scale, but I'm relating to it, because it's what we do.

We're like, dude, come to this office. I can't believe what Barstool's like. I'm like, dude, back in the day it was better. We had this little fucking shithole. That was the time. Another thing is like, it's like a work factory out there. Yeah. I mean, I'm saying.

No, it feels like a fucking Barstool sweatshop Yes I know I know People You know Head down Just fucking

Type it away But that goes to show We're working though People think it's like a party And shit It's like no We gotta sell shit When you see Barstool

But guess what You do such a good job It looks like There's not that many people involved You know You look at it like this Oh this was like One or two people

You don't consider the research It reminds me Russell Simmons had a When the web shit was blowing, it was called 360 Hip Hop. And he had a situation similar to this. It was like a warehouse area in Chelsea, I think. And it was just like tables, desks, fucking tables and desks of motherfuckers. It was just for one website. People don't understand what it takes.

Lights don't even work over there until you're working in the dark. There's a lot of motherfuckers here. Yeah, well, even I'm like, there's too many people. I know how much work goes on. I'm still like, what the fuck is everybody doing here? How do you deal with that? Or how does Dave deal with that? You're talking about doing the venues. First off, I don't answer questions

for Dave. I just want to say to see how you reacted to that. And you came back with a part two, like, okay, I knew that. No, like, when you're saying how people that. No, like, were you saying how people talk about it? Like, you were saying he does the mega venues, right? Like, 20,000. Where when we saw him at

MSG, it was like a god walking on stage. Oh my god, I know that feeling. I know that feeling because we did MGM Graham, and that feeling, like, I had just slaughtered. And I was like, yo, can this room get fucking higher than that? And I told him I slaughtered, like, people going crazy.

And then he came out, and it just was like. Like, to feel it from where I had him and to find there's another level. To let it go higher, yeah. And it was just like, it felt like, and I was behind him, it felt like I was walking in the ring with Muhammad Ali, man. I don't think Dave said a word for three minutes when he walked on stage. He was like, arms up. We always talk about it.

And he doesn't do it. I was like, nigga. I was like, you could sizzle for like five minutes. Yeah. Like that. Like he could do that Michael Jackson sizzle. Just stand there. For real. But he just do that Michael Jackson sizzle. Just stand there. For real.

He just does it. I know he appreciates it, but I know Ben Ryan, he don't want to connect that. That's why he tell him always sit down, let's go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And just be able to talk. When you, I mean, I've always, like when you get to do those shows and you get to do The Garden

or one of these fucking arenas, like are you ready for that? If you're doing theaters and shit for all of a sudden. Oh, I'm ready for that? If you're doing theaters and shit, for all of a sudden... Oh, I'm ready for it. Yeah, it doesn't matter if it's 20,000, 5,000, 500.

It don't matter. And the thing about it is, the thing that gets you ready for those shows are the shows when 10 people are in the audience, the 50 people. Even though we do stadiums and some big numbers, we never run away from the 30 people in the audience, the 50 people, the 100, the 200, the 1,000.

Those people are the ones that prepare you for those big joints. And the people that have the most success playing those places are the ones that put the work in. You've got to stay in the gym. Somebody asked me one time, it was a young lady. She was going to do a favor for me. My son's shower shower it was a celebrity chef that was a friend of mine that was gonna help me with the food or whatever

as we get closer to the date the person started backing out started saying talk to my assistant and all this type of stuff and then that person said to me like, it was their real feelings. They said, Donnell, I don't do open mics. Do you do open mics? Indicating they were at a certain level. Right, right, right. They said, I don't do open mics. Do you do open mics? I said, do I do open mics?

I said, I just did a short Radio City Music Hall. I stood up, 6, people, standing ovation, left, got in the car, and went to do a show in Brownsville, Brooklyn, for 50 people. Bitch, I am open mic. Yeah, I do it. I do it all. You know what I'm saying?

So that's like an addiction to entertainment. Yeah, it is. And I feel, I don't, like, anybody's ever seen me live. I leave it all out there. Every show I leave. Every show for 27 years never showed that I phoned it in. Never showed it. I did not go on stage saying, this is going to be the hardest I rip.

You know, I leave it out there. And, like, that's just it. I don't think a lot of people have those work. Well, that's how, I mean, the people who don't do it that way don't get to Radio City it I don't think a lot of people have those work well that's how I mean the people who don't do it that way don't get to Radio City I don't think

you know what I mean yeah it's a lot of people that cheat their way well some yeah but they're not gonna last 27 you know you might get to the top

for some reason or another but to have prolonged success over those places I think you have to have that yeah and for most part my entire career I have not really made a living

off of film and television. I've had some times where I've done it. Right. But for the most part, my money is touring. And I'm not mad at it. No. The thing about it, you know, with council coaching and everything, you can't. I've put the work in as a stand-up over the years that you can't make me start because you you have you can't

make me start no maybe you not be like maybe i won't be on this tv show whatever but you can't stop people from coming out right they like you they like you yeah that's good and i'm cool i'm content with man after i spent a summer in yellow springs in ohio and realized like what are the things that we really need to value in life yeah i live in L.A., but I don't like it. I could really see myself doing some Chappelle shit, living in a fucking house. Where are you originally from? L.A. Washington, D.C., Alexandria, Virginia is where I started.

Most of my career was in New York. Moved to L.A. probably like 10 or 11 years ago. But I really connected with simple life. Yeah. How about how we saw you on The Cabin when you rolled up? I got PTSD off of that. I bet, man. Burt and Bobby Lee naked together is like, oh, my fucking God, dude.

First off, it was supposed to be Bobby Lee got cast at the last minute. It was supposed to be me, Burt, and Bill Burr. Okay. Right. So I think Bill Burr had something that he committed to, Burt, because it's all family.

Then he got a big acting gig or something, he couldn't do it. Right. So I didn't know that until I went to work. I looked at trailers and I saw Bobby Lee,

I was like, this motherfucker going to get naked. It's going to get weird. So I go in the house, Burt Kreischer is laying on a bare skin, bro,

butt ass naked. No, I'm like, oh, here we go with this bullshit, right? I don't want to ruin

the episode. Frat boy shit, they love this shit. And they know that I'm not going to be none of that. So, I'm like,

oh, this motherfucker. That's what made it so funny though, is having somebody else be like, fuck this. come in,

and then I look over Bobby Lee is over there and before nobody even told him to get naked. Nobody said shit. He was like oh dick and balls let's go. And he's black naked and just went down there so wonderful. Then he's coming to me like

Donnie what is wrong with you? You don't like me do you? What do you think I'm gay? You think I'm gay? You think I'm gay? What do you don't like me? Why you never hug me? Give me a hug i'm gay you think i'm gay what if you don't like me why you never hug me give me a hug please i'm like you got your dick in your hands son you know yo he jailed that motherfucker he's like this what's wrong down there what's wrong you don't like me i think you're funny you don't think i'm funny but it was a good show and all those guys are my friends we got different style you know just different style of humor but the people like to show it was fun and the best thing about is like we are colleagues and shit there's nothing like when you can help your man

get some exposure help your man get some money yeah and it's all good yeah it's all like a family out there I feel like that you guys it's unbelievable you're all very this episode drop it's either tomorrow or next Tuesday. Not no next, motherfucker. We're not next to that shit. This has got to sell tickets, too. Yeah, let's go. Tomorrow.

When is it? May? No, we got it. February, Black History Month. We play all our guests. We just knock all these motherfuckers out Every one of the times What do you got

What do you got coming up Tell the people Now Carolines I'll be at Carolines On Broadway In New York I've been going there For like 15 years

January 27th Whenever this plays January 27th and 30th And then after that I'll be at the Ontario Improv When is that

February the 4th Through the 6th I'm doing a lot of I'm doing a lot of touring Donairrollins.com Has all Everywhere I'm gonna Everywhere I'll perform

So good things Coming on TV But Yo It's just No this is crazy After 27 years Like

I feel like It's just Keep going bro Yeah You know what I'm saying? I just feel like And it's just keep going bro you know what I'm saying like I just feel like and it's so funny now cause a lot of things

are coming together for me people are like yo I see you everywhere everywhere and they're like man you lucky blah blah blah I was like

it's none of that motherfucker it's all hard it's all hearing a motherfucker tell you no fuck you and everything

that's gotta feel particularly good cause like I think even with us, or I may also speak for myself, we're like, I feel like every day could end tomorrow. Yeah. So, like, the constant rise.

Even with, like, it's interesting. I'm an older guy now, right? And, like, everybody's, like, lately it's been a lot of death. But it's not lately. It's just always. Yeah. People are always dying. People are always want to die

very once in a while something hits you like really hardcore pat sajak passed away and that hit me and we weren't like friends like that but i remember when we were doing the outdoor shows in yellow springs ohio and pat sajak came out there for the first time how open he was to be around people we were doing stuff within a bubble. He probably didn't have stage time. And I felt like at that time, he just got reinvigorated. Like, just

a new love. I started seeing him pop up doing shows in LA. And I just saw something hit him where he like, it's hard to stay in love with this all the time. And especially like his his level when you make millions not even doing it yeah so how do you get somebody maintain a passion when I don't need it to survive right and she just felt like

a rebirth he was excited about it he passed away and then when I started Steve Oh Steve I was like yeah but he went out cause Steve-O always probably kind of thinks about death every day yeah he said he went out he said he was at a great place in his career it wasn't like no he said like you think about Robin Williams

he's kind of like a bitch I moved to suicide that's going to be hard for people to take period he said he was in his sleep or whatever and it was people. And he lived his life. Right. And I've said on a lot of platforms I've been on, I said, two things we guarantee. The born date when we're here and the expiration date.

Yep. Those two things that you cannot deny. That's what the most important thing is, what do you do in your dash? What do you do in that dash what do you do in that period from here to here yeah and then if a person lived a life to the fullest did a lot of things they wanted to do or whatever like we're the ones I saw I miss you but they fucking say have a good life you know I'm saying enjoy your fucking life like every day we get,

and sometimes people are like this, well, Monday, well, I'm just going to relax. I'm going to wait till Saturday to live. Instead of living fucking every moment. On a Tuesday, yeah, absolutely, man. Amen, dude. So we appreciate it, man. So go check it out, donaldrellings.com.

Did I end on a dark note? No, that's a good note. We usually end on a dark note. And another thing, This is another thing. I don't take pictures, selfie pictures with anybody anymore because I don't want to be a part of your RIP library. Yo, yo. I would be so mad if I die and I'm not on everybody's timeline. I think I've taken enough pictures of my life.

And it's so funny because people get, they're not even original with the death captions. It's all the same shit. It's like RIP. Yo, I know you looking down on us. I'm like, well, some of the, no, here's the thing. Everybody's going to heaven.

There's a couple people like, I know you're looking up at us. I know you're looking up at us right now. And it's always this shit. Oh, man. I was just with them yesterday. Oh, this shit hurts. But now you post so much, so many RIP photos.

Now you got more. No, this one, this one hurts. This one hurts more than the last one. So I hope it's a celebrating picture of me, not the RIP. Because if I pass next week, my wife will be like, oh man, we just interviewed him.

His last interview before, he just said I'm out of here. I love it, bro. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. This was a lot of fun, man. We went 0-60 real quick. Yeah, we did. We hit a lot of spots. Which one is my camera, sir? Anyone my camera?

And for all y'all bitches that got upset because I said bitches, I wasn't talking to you. You actually got a couple more minutes to do a quick video? Yeah. Cool. We'll go next door. We got a studio. I ask nothing of you. There's only one thing in this world I ask of you as fans.

We don't charge any money. We don't ask a lot at all. No, we ask this a lot, but they're not listening to us. Well, we ask for voicemails. They do that. We ask you to follow some accounts. They do that. I ask you to subscribe to YouTube.

You don't do that. I ask you to subscribe on Apple and Spotify and give us a five-star review and leave a review. And you sometimes do that. So please, let's make this a semi-annual thing where you make sure that you're subscribed

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