KFC Radio - KFC Radio is Almost Out of the Closet Ft. Josh Adam Meyers

Episode Date: April 7, 2022

- Feits reminisces on his period of steroid use, and the guys decide we should be giving kids steroids - If you were in a room with your clone, would you rather f*** it or kill it? (Must see segment) - AITA - Gf orders spaghetti - didn't give a pregnant woman my seat Video Voicemails: - best thing your parents taught you - KFCR surveys - worst everyday pains - Josh Adam Meyers Intervew - a hilarious and long interview with Josh on sex clubs, trying meth, getting in fights, and much more +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 0:00 - Steroids 00:32:49:03 - F*ck or Kill your clone 00:43:12:11 - AITA 01:05:44:16 - Voicemails 01:26:19:28 - Josh Adam Meyers Interview +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Coinbase:: Sign up at https://barstool.link/CoinbaseKFC for $10 in free Bitcoin. Schick: Get 20% off men’s individual items on https://barstool.link/SchickBSS with code BARSTOOL Pandora/Sirius XM: Subscribe now and get your first 3 months for free of the SXM App, visit https:/åç/barstool.link/SXMKFC to sign up. Offer Details apply Roman: Go to https://barstool.link/Romankfc to get your first month of Swipes for just $5 when you choose a monthly plan.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Tickets are on sale for KFC Radio Live right now. We got a show coming up in Nashville for the Nashville Comedy Festival in May. That just came up. That just came up. You mean right in the middle of my promo? It was like right in the middle of it. Tickets are available in Philly. Tickets are available in Philly.

Tickets are available for Philly in May, May 19th at the Fillmore. And then June 18th in Chicago. Summertime, shah. Go get your tickets. They're available in the link in the description or head over to any of the social media pages on KFC Radio. Buy your tickets today. Straight up.

That might make me gay, but straight up. I'd rather have stuff done to my butt. Mike, check real quick. Check, check, check. One, two, one, two. Pabst is gay! All right, we're good. Does yours work? Check, check, check, check, check, check, check.

What'd you say? Don't let Pab Pat's dad hear that. All good? It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Your boy, Feidelberg. I don't know if you did it on purpose because you were so gross yesterday, but you are clean cut and looking clean today. Really?

I did my hair today. You look like a clean boy today. I did my hair today. But your hair, you look like you showered, you put on clothes. I exercised this morning. I told you yesterday as I was housing wings. That was rock bottom. I said I got to get to work. And I went home.

Went home last night, worked out again. Yep. This morning, slept late. I went to bed at midnight last night watching The Rock on TNT. Got your red eye? Got your shut eye? And then I slept till about 9.30, woke up, worked out, cooked lunch, had some pork tacos. Look at you.

Spilled it on shit. Extra animal in the stomach. Put that on the board. Put a pig in there. Can someone make a list of all the animals in the stomach right now? Oh, my God. But I did shower. Just eat a human at this point.

Just put some human flesh in there, too. It's super concerning you have a shitty head. I know. That is like nuclear. I've tried, Kevin. I've fucking tried, bro. It's because you got that fake tuna just gumming up the words. I got a fatberg.

Yeah, you got a fatberg and a finalberg. I got a finalberg inside a finalberg. Oh, God. But you at least look better. I don't know if you feel better. So I literally just started typing down just what I know he's eaten. And just reading, like, pork, chicken, tuna, burger is just vile. Lobster.

Lobster. A bottom feeder. Many cigarettes. God. But you look better, so that's a plus. That's all that fucking matters. I feel better, too. I was dancing, walking to work today.

Yeah. I mean, look good, feel good, play. Well, look good, play good. We cut out the feel good. I do not like how I look below here. I am not a fan of the naked mole reality. Oh, because you shaved yourself. Yeah.

Yeah. How are those nips doing? Nips are itchy as hell. I was. Flash those titties. Let me see them. They're not like raw, I don't think. Oh, yeah.

I mean, you look great. No, I look like a fat baby. I look like a fat baby. John, spoiler alert, you've always looked like a fat baby. But I look like a particularly fat baby because I'm hairless. Yeah, that's true. That is a fat baby look. Yeah, you look like a big fat –

You know what you look like is Baby Hercules. That guy who was jacked? No, I don't. Yes, you do. He was like – I'm sure – As soon as I show you. He ruined his life doing steroids when he was like eight.

Okay. And he was like an internet sensation, and then his life completely fell apart. Oh, wait. Baby Hercules is the... Yeah, yeah. You're talking about a cartoon? Okay, I recognize this kid. Yeah, that guy with the fucking mullet, basically.

What happened with him growing up? It's a... He's alive still. Yeah. What a twist. Yeah, big time plot twist. So in that case, upset and positive ending, because he's not dead. When that's the bar, technically you're a success.

Like, super horrifically sad story. ending because he's not dead when that when that's the bar technically your success like super horrifically sad story where like his father was obviously a fucking maniac used to jack him up with this shit like eventually like real steroids or like or like human growth whatever it was it was like not for a kid uh they they like made money off him but not like never work again money so like they i think they made enough that they could like emigrate from whatever country they were in and then like the dad either died or just disappeared and he was left to like take care of his mom and then like two sisters and he just had to get like a regular ass job to just make like an hourly wage to pay for he's like genetically

fine more or less well more or less fuck him up that much i i so that's an argument to give baby doing it yeah yeah if he's a little little hercules not baby hercules but i don't know it was it was like like don't leave your kid alone to to care for his mother but give him steroids that's it's a small picture but that's the progression of him so he eventually kind of just look like a normal guy regular yeah just stop's regular. Yeah. He just stopped working out so much. Right. So, yeah, listen, if you are, like, truly back against the wall. Juice your kid up. I am on the record, not like Prima Bolin and Anabolic,

I'm on the record that everybody should get HGH. Yeah, yeah. It's human, and we could all grow. We could all be stronger and better. I'll feel better. It's not, it's not, I don't see the problem. I think I could get my kid, I'll have a kid kid i'll get him jacked up that's fair should i should start giving keegan hgh if you get if you gave keegan i mean his liver you probably have to give him milk thistle too that's going to be important okay well this is going to be an uncle

fight uncle johnny thing okay like i don't know how to do this stuff so i don't know what milk thistle is so uncle johnny's gonna come over and shoot you up in your ass and give you like shake up these protein shakes for you. And Keegan's going to hit the iron. Milk thistle is just for a healthy liver function. And I take that every day. But I started taking it when I did steroids a long time ago. I take it now for the alcoholism, but I used to take it for the steroid use.

I used it when I was doing steroids because I didn't want to stop drinking when I was doing steroids. It's a miracle you're alive. Fuck little Hercules. They were like, look, you should definitely not drink on these because your liver is going to be working overtime. That's why a lot of those guys don't drink, right? I was like, what if I took a natural supplement that definitely does fucking nothing? I mean, yeah. Milk thistle.

Yeah, it's like a fucking plant they put in a blender. That is the fakest shit of all time. It doesn't need nothing, dude. Yeah, now you can rip your body in shreds with poison. Although, who saw a fucking liver specialist recently who was like, you got crazy healthy liver. Upset city. More than Little Hercules. Your liver might be too healthy.. More than Little Hercules.

Your liver might be too healthy. Like, yeah, take milk thistle. Yeah. That's why it works green light to be like, ooh, I got some extra liver. So now I can drink that away. But I'll show up at the house. Like, Keegan will be in his sleep. He won't even know that it's happening.

And so you won't even know. You'll have plausible deniability. I'll get Keegan fucking jacked up. Keegan will wake wake up in the morning come stomping down the stairs where's my breakfast roid raging I would love it He's got like the wolf look Like a wolf man look That's probably genetic Me and Grandpa are pretty hairy

That's fine I think probably I got my first beard At about three So that works out Pimples on the back and everything Keegan your balls haven't grown Since you were four What's going on there?

I'm through osmosis trying to school him on arguments why Barry Bonds belongs in the Hall of Fame. Everyone was doing it. It doesn't even fucking matter. It's really Bud Selig's fault. If Bud Selig's in the Hall, then Barry should be in the Hall. That's all I'm saying.

Never actually failed the test. It was just a list from some guy named Mitchell. We don't even know. But, I mean, you know, if you were to tell me, you know, that Keegan would, like, if I could make sure that Keegan is a, I'm not going to say professional athlete. That's too crazy. I'm a little wet in here. If you could tell me that Keegan would be a star, I don't know if i can say this on the record but i'm gonna like if you could tell me that keegan would be like a star college athlete for like a couple rounds a couple years of fucking

use and it wouldn't like harm him in the long run yeah yeah bro this is this is a this is the same kind of question where, like, if you – would you give your kids steroids for a couple million bucks? Right? If you think about, like – if you think about the money you'll save, like, through camps that he'll probably go to for free, depending on what position he plays. Right, right, right. Fucking private schools that he goes to. Yeah. Fucking colleges that he goes to. Let's say by the time Keegan is in college, college costs, what, $3 million a year?

Yeah, right, right, right. So all that free. Bro, you were going to put your baby in the microwave for $10,000. It's a professional call-out. You weren't even going to give that baby milk thistle, dude. This baby's getting milk thistle. Yeah, that baby was going to explode in the microwave. Keegan's going to be jacked.

It's never, ever, for one second, been about sportsmanship. The reason I'm not going to give Keegan steroids is because it's bad for your body. It has nothing to do with the fact. So that's what I'm saying. If it's actually not that bad and we're not going to kill him. I've taken two separate steroids in my life. He's a pro. One was from Russia, right?

No, the Winstroll was from Russia. It's been a long time since I took it. There's probably been a huge advancement in the field. But the Winstroll was from Russia. It's probably totally safe now. We got that male Habarstool HQ so we could fucking... Get big for the summer, right? But so we could also, if the police brought it, we could be like, we don't know who got that.

Mailed it to the office. Plausible deniability. It's like knocking on a Milton dentist's office. Who ordered the steroids? I don't know. Could be any of these idiots. It would have been like musky. he's been wasting away for five years um and then and the one i took before that was anavar which anavar was a steroid that they give

to people with fucking aids so they don't so they don't waste away so it was also dude it was what the fucking georgia cheerleader i don't know if you remember it was also, dude, it was what the fucking Georgia cheerleader. I don't know if you remember this chick. We did like a, we brought her out on Barstool U. Georgia cheerleader. She got popped for doing Annivar. And, bro, she was so fucking huge. Like, I couldn't believe she failed the test

I was gonna say You know what the drug test was? They walked in the door and said That bitch is on steroids Wait, that chick's not a middle linebacker? Bro, look at her compared to her friend And her friend's pretty big That's a big arm for a girl

But she's just dominating her fellow cheerleader. Dude, there's a picture of me, I think, from filming Making a Gambler. Your arms look a lot like that. You have very similar arms to her. They're animal arms. Yeah, it's like they were built by the same fucking – yeah, we have similar arms. They were built by the fake enzymes that we put in our bodies, the fake proteins. I – yeah, if – as long as you tell me, you know, we're not going to Ken Caminiti this shit.

Yeah, the steroids, let's go. We'll juice them up. We'll get them going. Because like your life is unequivocally better in every way. You're better at sports, which means you're cooler. You're happier. You have more friends. You're winning.

You feel like the coolest. The girls like you. The guys want to be you. You get to go. You get like the coolest the girls like you the guys want to be you uh you get to go you get you get all the coolest shit you get to go all these opportunities and then you get to play ball your life as a fucking kid kid you think about just in high school like the high school hallways that shit starts like oh like like like second grade for sure like i've ever played like fucking like like hockey in second grade with like the little fucking my like sticks that you yeah bend. Oh, I love those.

People are like, John, that's like, whoa. And then we play other sports. I was like, wait, my buddy's fucking good at basketball? That's fucking awesome. That's cool. As far as early as field day, you're jumping with a balloon between your legs. And you're running with a fucking egg and all that shit. And whoever did that, we've said this.

This is one of the, I would go as far to say, I can't do this off the top of my head, but throughout the next, I'm going to come up with the four pillars of barstool sports, okay? And I would say one of the things – That we don't. Huh? That we don't. Yeah, that we don't do. But one of the things that was kind of just accepted as gospel that we all said or wrote or believed in,

it was talked about ad nauseum was when the fast kid in school is the coolest kid in school we talked about that like forever like every blog dave ever wrote every thing we ever saw about kids it was always if you're fast in school you were the cool kid you got pussy in school if you could run the mile the fastest if you could run the sprints the fastest if you were the fastest kid in gym class and that shit is like first fucking grade i disagree with this i know who the fastest kid in my school was. He was a weirdo. He was a loser. Really? Yep. You must be the only school

in existence then. We were not a speed school. We were a fight school. We were a wrestling school. Yeah, well, if you went to a wrestling school... I know, I know. I'm not going to name drop him, but your nistles are CS, and you were fucking weird. I will name drop all of them because it's awesome.

Cole Gladys. What a fucking name that is. Right. Cole Gladys, the fastest kid in the world. Tom Filippo. Well, it's just those two guys. Those are the ones that I remember. And they had fucking. You never just listen to the kids. He wanted to fuck when he was six. They weren't they weren't good looking. They weren't good looking. But but they were fast as shit. They they were raring like umbros umbro shorts deodorants uh soccer always the 40s yeah yeah and they were just fucking flying and i remember specifically being like i mean they were like lapping me on the fucking mile you know like gym day uh the mile day in gym class was like the worst day of my life. I hate it.

Even when I was young. We never had that. I never did that. It's very clear that you went to school in like a cave somewhere on a mountainside where like yetis taught you and you just fought each other. You talk about the fart in someone's face during like the sit-up competitions. We never did any of that stuff. I mean, it must be like because it's a private school thing.

No, no, no. Oh, wait. Well, first of all, yes. But I went public school until high school. So what age are you doing this? My entire life every single year. Never once. You don't know what the presidential and the national award are. I've definitely heard of them.

I don't recall ever doing this. Yeah, like every other school in America did this. They still did it. You did it, right? Or did they stop it? I never did it, yeah. I feel like they might have stopped it because it's like a competitive thing. There's winners and losers and shit shit so they don't want that um but like every

school from my generation you would do you would run the mile you would do what they called like the shuttle run we called it it was basically like you run like uh probably 10 or 15 feet back and forth you have to pick up like uhers. It was just like a sprint basically. So there was like a long run and a sprint run. Then they did – you did sit-ups. You did pull-ups. You could also substitute push-ups for pull-ups because pull-ups are fucking so hard. Pull-ups are impossible, dude.

But also there would be – so pull-ups I think are the most – are truly the hardest thing in the world to do. And when you're younger, it's like you're either like noodle arms, so you definitely can't do it. But if you're in shape and you're like 50 pounds when you're a kid, so you can just bang out like 50 of them, you know? So it's one or the other. Like it's still either really hard for you or you can bang them out because you're getting muscle but you still don't weigh a lot.

When you're littler, that's so easier for everything. Even push-ups because you're like a T-Rex. You don't have to go very far. But like Zidane O'Chara used to win every single year. That's even when you're littler, it's even that's so easier for everything. Like even push up because you're like a T-Rex. You don't have to go very far. Yeah, yeah. But like Zidane O'Chara used to win every single year the Bruins training camp pull up competition. And you'd think to be a professional athlete, to win the competition, you're doing like 100. Right.

It was like, I think, high 30s, low 40s. Right, right. And like. I mean, as like a civilian. That's a fucking. I can do four maybe. Right. I was going to say.

As a civilian, if you can do like 10, you're like a superhuman freak. Right. You know what I mean? When I see these guys at the gym who like do the pull-ups like fucking – what are these called when you do them all the way out here? Wide grip? I thought they had a better name than that. I mean that's just like – Dude, if I could pump steroids again real quick. Yeah, absolutely.

This episode is brought to you by steroids. I could do like four. I could do like four. Right now, I could probably do less than four, but when I was exercising, I could do four. When strolling, how many? Two days on steroids. I was ripping 15, no problem. It's crazy. I was just like...

Well, I can do these now. I'd come down, I'd just touch myself. I made a rock. That makes sense. I'm the strongest man alive. I'm like, I made a rock. That makes sense. Okay. Okay, I'm the strongest man alive. Yeah. Okay. I'm chiseled from stone. Okay. That's so cool. That's so cool, man. My buddy was trying to tell him.

And he was just like, what the fuck's going on? He was training for the Marines. He's like, how'd this happen? I can't tell you. I feel like if it I mean I guess they're not doing that shit anymore but if you were

in gym class and you were taking steroids as a little kid and you could run the mile and like I mean in my

I remember in my day a six minute mile was like the fast kids could do it in six minutes and to me that was like

the craziest fucking thing I've ever heard of in my life a six minute mile was like the fast kids could do it in six minutes and to me that was like the craziest fucking thing i've ever heard of in my life a six minute mile what are you out of your fucking mind i was like are you insane i used to do a 514 that's disgusting yeah no oh i used to be fucking like 60 pounds less 514 that's a fake number That's like I mean I can remember I know guys that broke Or they got all the way down To like Almost four

Yeah it was fucking crazy Yeah isn't the The four minute mile Is like the world record Right now right Breaking that is like I think it's at like 352 Right that's what I mean

They just broke The whole Well that's what's so funny Because I remember like You know they'd be like We There was one school I did it in. We had a track, which is just four loops, four laps.

And then there was one school where we didn't have a track, so it was just like you had to run around the school and shit. And there were some parts that had hills, uphill and downhill. So he kind of made up for it. He was like, well, that part's uphill, so this part's downhill. We'll cut off a quarter mile here. But I remember he'd be like you know ready set go and we'd start and i'd be like okay like gotta pace myself because i'm running a mile here and the fast kids would just run as hard as they could the whole time and to me that was like what a mile the whole time oh the only thing i could do

i could do i could bang out the the sit-ups uh and um i couldn't do pull-ups but i could do, I could bang out the sit-ups and the – I couldn't do pull-ups, but I could do push-ups. And I could crush the flexible shit with all the chicks. The running is never my bag. Never my bag. Dude, my freshman year of high school, I did cross country to train for hockey. That is the biggest load of shit ever. I remember what my basketball coaches kind of put me on the outs

because I was on a track to get called up to varsity early. And they like didn't like that. I wasn't doing track in the offseason to train for basketball. And I remember being like I was I was like very into playing basketball. Like really. I did like practice. I got those fucking shoes that you try to put on your toes to like jump the gym. Yeah.

The Jimmy's. I got the Jimmy's. I would do like out of school to, like, jump. The jimmies? Yeah, the jimmies. I got the jimmies. I would do, like, out-of-school, like, basketball camps and tutoring. I was, like, really into it. And I was still like, there is no fucking way I'm doing track. Like, no shot. And they were like, you're not dedicated. And I was like, well, then that's okay.

Then I'm not dedicated. Whatever. I'm not doing track. I was like, I got shin splints almost immediately. I could see your body being like, nope almost because I ran yeah just like someone running with fucking flippers on just and just and the shin bone just splintering everywhere like I still have it awfully yeah and and I so I ended up having to I'd have to run in the pool Every day Which actually was dope I'd get two kickboards And I'd just run in the deep end

It was like fucking sick Of your school? Uh huh This is Yeah this is my This is public school still It's a public school My freshman year

Yeah see Like you had schools With pools in it and shit That's wild I mean this was This was like Not a nice school Yeah that's crazy to me

It was just It was just a very My public school freshman year Was just very big So they had swim teams And stuff like that Right But the

Then the Probably the next time I ever ran distance again was my freshman year of college when I was on the baseball team. And it was, like, part of, like, the baseball thing. We had to do, like, a charity 5K one, like, Saturday morning or something like that. And that fucking shit-faced Friday night. And I'm running. This is at St. Michael's's so it's a catholic college and i'm running and like just like through the woods just like just fucking dying dude like like i could hear the beer in my stomach splashing and it's like kind of like when you do and you kind of like hold them back up you're like yeah and I'm running like this.

And the only thing I remembered from cross country at that time was you hold your fingers like this. Because I guess that makes running easier. What do you do? I don't know. Oh, no, that's white supremacy. Those are all just racists. So I'm just like... My stomach's going...

My stomach sounds like a fucking conch shell. My mouth goes... And then about a 75-year-old priest goes barreling by me, goes, look like you're struggling, son. He was in the priest's fucking thing. He had the roll by him. He had a fucking Bible in his hands. He had the Bible, but he had like a black turtleneck and shorts.

You look like you're struggling, sir. On your left, pussy. Suck my fucking dick, father. That is hilarious. Suck my dick, father. Oh, man. Yeah, I mean, that... All of this is to say How awesome would it be

To have steroids in your system As like a fourth grader And be like This is easy to me I can do all of this Yeah I'll play hockey Sure I'll play baseball And football

And soccer And whatever I don't give a fuck Play whatever you want bro I am LeBron James I'll also tell you What I'm thinking about doing. Skip the steroids.

Have him play with the chicks. Just have Keegan wreck bitches his whole childhood and just say because he identifies as a girl. And just have him step up to the plate and just hit dingers his whole life. I want him bat flipping. I'll tell you what, you picked the wrong sport there. You picked the wrong sport. Don't go softball.

Softball's fucking hard. No, no, no. I'm talking a little like early baseball when the girls are still. You're trying to hit a riser, don't you? Yeah, no, that shit's hard. I'll go fucking play something else. I don't know what I could beat women at, but it's not softball. Yeah, I don't.

Because they're mean in basketball too Girls who are good at basketball Play like They'll just like elbow you And fucking box you out And body you I think I think I've told you about

My buddy One of my good buddies You've met Bigger guy And he lived next to Growing up in high school He lived next to two Like

They were sisters Like all state High school basketball girls. Like, I don't know where they ended up going to college, but, you know, as he tells it, they were, like, D1 awesome. Yep. And one day he was shooting in his backyard, and, like, they rolled up almost like the Santa, like, hey, you want to play? And he fucked his shit up. And they fucking kicked his ass. Yeah.

It was so mean to him. Yeah. That he asked for a game two. But before game two, he ran a couple laps around his house, took off his shirt, and just backed him down in the paint the rest of the game. You ain't touching this. You ain't wanting to. Gotcha, bitch.

That's funny. Let's do this. Yeah, no, I mean, chicks who are good at sports will fucking run your shit when you're a boy. What we've learned is that guys can absolutely beat the shit out of chicks in swimming. Because that trans guy is lapping bitches. Like, he's beating them by, like, two pool lengths. And then she sits there, like, on the podium, like, ah. Yeah, fucking right.

Like, how? Are you even enjoying this? There's nobody even in sight in the pool. You're winning by, like, three minutes. She's like, yeah, man. Maybe go up in a division. But you know what I was thinking about that? She probably, I don't know what's going through her head,

but, like, She might be thinking like I gotta do this now To like I gotta beat the shit out of these lame bitches To like Eventually even the playing field Like the next girl Like eventually it'll get close enough

Where like Whether you have female or male genetics You're like It's an even playing field Because I started way back when You think she's running eugenics on the pool Yeah yeah basically She's making that gene pool That much stronger Because those girls are just like started way back when. You think she's running eugenics on the pool. Yeah, yeah, basically.

She's making that gene pool that much stronger because those girls are just like, well, fuck, I don't know, I gotta hit the weight. In order for me to make these people genetically stronger, I have to beat them down. It actually made... Sam Jay is a very funny comedian. She'll be on next Tuesday's episode. She has a lot of material about lesbian and gay and trans

because she's a lesbian herself. And she has a lot of material about lesbian and gay and trans because she's a lesbian herself. And she has a bit about, like, she's like, I don't know the answer of, like, how to handle sports and what divisions do you play in or whatever. But she says that trans women are basically, like, our version of X-Men. And she's like, you guys shouldn't complain. Like, shut the fuck up because we're going to have bitches in the NFL soon. Like, we got to do this now so that we can get up there eventually. Maybe that's why this girl is just

swimming her dick off, just fucking killing it. But all of this is to say, like I said, I just want Keegan running shit. It's either going to be playing against chicks or steroids, kid. You pick. What do you want? You want to be known as chicks or steroids, kid. You pick.

What do you want? You want to be known as the kid who beats up on girls? I go juice. Or the fucking juiced up roid monkey. Your pick, kiddo. It's up to you. Today we got Josh Adam Meyer on the show, who I think might be like the most interesting man in the world. I would agree with that.

I told him Ryan Sickler does this thing with Joey Diaz. Joey Diaz comes on his show once every couple months or whatever, and he just chronicles his life because Joey's lived the craziest life in the world. So Sickler will be like, all right, welcome back. Uncle Joey's on the show again. Where were we? And Joey's like, we left off in December of 96. And he just starts going.

And then it's almost funny. It's like an old man telling a story. He's like, that's enough for today. He decides when it's done. But you're getting the complete chronicle of Joey Diaz's life. And Sickler said, like, one day we'll put it all into one thing and I'll give it to you. You'll have it for your kids or whatever. We might have to chronicle Josh Adam Meyer's entire life.

I wouldn't hate that. Because I went back and started listening to his interviews with Sickler, and he has some fucking tales from when he was going to school in D.C. in these schools that were, like, right on the border of, like, rich and poor and black and white and the shit he used to do in school. He's got stories, man. So I think we might have to have Josh be, like, a recurring guest where we just be like, I mean, the interview you'll hear was just like, I mean, it's despicable and deviant behavior.

And he was like, we didn't even scratch the surface of my debauchery. Like, we might just, it's just like, here's the mic. Go, dude. So that's on the show later. Very, very funny. Sex clubs and whatever else. Sex parties. Sex parties. Sex parties. Orgies. Raves. Cuddle puddles. Cuddle puddles. show later very very funny sex clubs and and whatever else sex parties parties orgies raves cuddle puddles cuddle puddles uh viagra drugs and a whole fucking nine so that's on today's show

having math stories is crazy well everyone's got math stories if you've done coke you got math stories i guess you're doing math yeah but if you but if you if you have an on purpose math story yeah yeah that's the difference. Yeah, that's true. I bought Coke, you got lied to. You bought meth. That is a good joke. That's exactly it.

We'll do Am I the Assholes and Top Fives. I guess the whole thing we started this for is just for you to tell, by the way, I put ice on my nipples last night That's why this all started We lifted up my shirt And we just went from there God I love this show I swear to God this should be the number one show in the world That is so ridiculous

We just did 20 minutes plus More I was like 40 minutes because we started to talk about your chest shaving. It's amazing. But yeah, just real quick. I'm so itchy from shaving. I had some – I cooked last week chicken and rice, like a Mediterranean chicken, rice, chickpeas, some blistered tomatoes, onions, real good stuff. And I was putting it in the microwave.

And, you know, when you put rice in the microwave, you put two ice cubes in there with it or a couple ice cubes to get it moist and somehow it doesn't melt in the microwave. And as I had the ice tray in my hand, I was like a pilot. I would imagine like a feeding mother. Like, oh, my nipples are so sore. And I had the ice in my hand, and I was like, maybe. And so I just fucking.

You were like those South Park characters? I just got two bags of ice and laid on my couch with my fucking shirt off and two bags of ice on my nipples. Okay. I said you were like, you got it together. You're back to being disgusting. I like to. Did your cousin, like, come home and see this by chance? No.

All that kid does is work. It's crazy. That sucks. I know. What an idiot. Just go to Coinbase and get into crypto if you're trying to make money. I have a job. I swear to God, if you are on the come up right now,

getting into like, you know, of age where you need to make money, and your plan is like a 40-hour job. You're a fucking idiot. If that's your plan, rather than just getting something like Coinbase and getting down with crypto, you're an idiot. Like, the only reason people still do things

like boring-ass jobs is that's the old way. People had to do it back then because there wasn't a coinbase available for you to download and just start getting bitcoins that like what i'm going to school to get a degree so that i can work somewhere uh okay idiot i'll be on coinbase getting rich uh it's the you know coinbase they were the one that did the the big uh super bowl commercial with the qr code that broke the website it's the official Super Bowl commercial with the QR code that broke the website. It's the official.

It went total viral. It's the only. I have a couple of friends and relatives who are big into the crypto world, and they all say Coinbase, even Coinbase Pro. Bitcoin Marty was beating this drum years ago. These guys have been available since the jump when it comes to Bitcoin and the cryptocurrencies. So you can buy, sell, and spend everything in the crypto world on Coinbase. It's the easiest user experience. That's the truth because we've dealt with some other ones where you got to download this and convert that in order to purchase this and put this wallet here and transfer over there. Coinbase is just like, here are your American dollars

and you want to buy this? Click the button. Bingo, bango, bongo. If me and Feidelberg can do it, literally anybody can. Your grandmother can use Coinbase to get crypto. So right now for a limited time, you get $10 in free Bitcoin when you sign up today. You know, $10 in Bitcoin today is worth like,

I don't know, $100 million one day down the road. So this basically is like $100 million promo code. Go to coinbase.com slash KFC radio. But honestly, like if you are looking to get in with Bitcoin and crypto, it's like the only option. It's the only one that I really trust. Like all other ones i'm like this money is going to disappear it's the only one i know how to use it's the only one that looks like it's not intimidating it's it's truly the only option in my mind uh the offer is for limited time only so if you want to get that ten dollars in free bitcoin go to coinbase.com slash kfc radio uh all right so billy football has a hypothetical yeah he did on macro dosing

yesterday um i don't i think he i think he wants to be clear he did not come up with it um and i i don't know maybe i've even heard it before maybe i haven't every every hypothetical has someone else has come up with it but it's about who popularizes it and who you heard it most from and that's just how it goes if If you were in a room with your clone, would you rather fuck it or kill it? I mean, I would rather fuck it. Yeah? Yeah. I don't even get, like, because you want to just, like,

you want to thirst for blood. See what it's like to kill a human. Yeah, I don't. Because also then you've got to do, like, the fucking, like, that Paul Rudd show where he's a clone. Remember the one where Brady comes out of the spa and there was that kind of backlash because it was right after Robert Kraft's spa situation? Vaguely remembering it.

And it was like – the joke in that little bit was like that's how Brady stays so young. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the spa what they do is they just clone you and kill the old you and you're refreshed. Right, right, yeah. In the spa, what they do is they just clone you and kill the old you and, like, you're refreshed. Right, right, right. And it is, like, but, like, you can't just have another you out there. Well, okay, so that's, I guess that's my point. What if it's an evil you? Yes, so that's what I mean. If this, if, to me, that feels like, the way that was presented to me is, would you rather,

like, get off on sex or get off on murder? And I don't really need the, I don't have – I don't feel the need or the want to murder. I also – I'm with you on that. But if you told me that it was like – do I gain something by murdering him if he's an evil clone, if he's going to put me out of business because he's going to take all my shit, if my kids are going to go to him instead of me, whatever. Then we can talk about it. I think sitting here right now, I don't have the thirst for murder.

I think he could get me there pretty quickly. I think he could. I'm stunned your answer is not 100% unequivocally murder. I thought you do have a thirst for blood. I thought you would like to see that a little bit. Well, definitely. Like get some purge shit. I'd want to fight him for sure.

That's what I mean. You have a thirst for blood. You want that action. I think the... Fight, for sure. Like, if honestly, like, it was up to me, I'd be like, I'm going to fuck you, but don't let me. The perfect blend.

You want to... So you want to rape your... What you want to do is rape your clone. The choice was sex or murder. The choice was sex or murder, and John split it right down the middle with some good old rape. I'm going to fuck you.

I'm going to make it difficult. That's what gets me off. Yeah, you're not into it, though. Resist. I'm going to fuck you, but make sure you resist. You're all getting cut, so I'm fucking you. No, absolutely not. This is not only getting cut, this is getting turned into a social clip.

That is exactly what I think. I just want to have a fist fight and then have sex with him. You just said what many people are thinking but too afraid to say. And that's what this show is for. It is. I would want to fuck me. I want to see who wins in a fight, and then I want to see who fucks better. Well, that's the thing.

I feel like I fuck pretty good, so maybe I want my clone to fuck me. Yeah. Because I know that I can throw down. Yeah, you want to get fucked. I want to get fucked hard. Listen, listen. When I fuck, I think I fuck pretty good. So unlucky me, I'm walking around this whole planet unable to get fucked by me.

How sad is that? Well, now I've got the opportunity. Yeah? But, like, wouldn't you want to fuck a guy first? But I also don't want to get fucked in the ass. Yeah, you want to fuck a guy first. You feel like... I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I think I would rather get fucked by... Yeah, I think I would rather get fucked by Yeah I think I would rather get fucked by myself I think I would derive more pleasure From some good butt play Than fucking a guy in the ass Straight up That might make me gay

But straight up I'd rather have stuff done to my butt No social clip I'd rather have stuff Well done to my butt Than me fuck a dude I'd rather be a bottom than to my butt than me fuck a dude. It's like, I'd rather be a bottom than a top. Does that make me gay? Yeah.

No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I officially think that bottoming is less gay than topping. Because you know what's so gay? You know what is so gay? Fucking a dude in the ass. Fucking a dude in the ass.

Looking at a guy's asshole and being like, I want to fuck that is super gay. You know, it's not super gay, but pretty gay is being like, I like shit done to my butt. Like I can just fucking close my eyes and pretend that's a hot chick doing some crazy shit back there. I'm fucking that guy's asshole and I know it. That's gay. That's gay. Getting fucked in the butt, pretty straight. And that's just where the world's going. That has empirical evidence to back it up, bro. That is, that's one of my galaxy brain takes right there. That is a galaxy.

I remember, dude, I remember like probably like 15 years ago, like we were in like college maybe. And I asked a buddy about one of our friends hot sisters i was like dude would you let her fuck you in the ass with a strap on to if you got to fuck her afterwards and he goes dude as long as you promise you wouldn't let me fuck her afterwards i'd let her and i was like whoa and i was like you shouldn't say that outside of the car yeah now it's like we'll say it on the mic. I got a podcast. Yeah, all right. Bro, 100%.

100%. I don't disagree. I'm with you. I'm just laughing. Yeah. I think you made sound arguments there. It really is. I think we can probably put a pin in it 50 episodes until we both come out.

I'll hammer the under. I think I just came out. I think it's already happened. I think we're starting to get real flirty with this fucking line, bro. I mean, there's a reason why the joke is that we're the gayest podcast of Barstool. While out and about frolicking around. They're probably banging more chicks than we are. I mean, I'm very close to getting fucked in the ass, I think.

150,000 subscribers. are I mean I'm I'm very close to getting fucked in the ass I hate hearing that because then I'm like take it all back very funny line no I would I would definitely I'd rather have to getting fucked in the ass. A very funny line. No, I would definitely, I'd rather have me fuck me in the ass than suck my dick. Yes. I don't want to fuck. Than me suck my dick. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to suck a dick at all.

I don't want to fuck a guy's asshole. You can put something in my butt. I don't think that's that crazy to say. Zach keeps going, oh, my God. Zach's not being so gay about it, bro. Zach's being super straight over there. It's fucking me up. No, that to me is absolutely like, if we're talking about the hierarchy,

if we're talking about the list of gay stuff that I want to do, the last on the list is sucking a dick. Then fucking a guy. And at the top, coming in at number one, what I want to do is getting stuff in my ass. I'll tell you what I don't want to do, though, which goes on that list, I think, is I don't want to do an enema. Oh, no. No, I didn't say I would prep for him. I didn't say I was going to be enjoyable.

That is, I think, I genuinely believe. This podcast is over! No, listen. I got more takes. I got another point here. I think more of the reason why I'm not gay is not to do with the sexuality, it's to do with that stuff. Like, that

to me is like, your guy's entire your entire like, sexuality and dating scene has to also be wrapped into like when you last took a shit. That's a problem for me. I don't want any of that stuff. I don't know if you heard the beginning of the podcast,

but it's not a goddamn nightmare. Like right now, if Feidelberg was... Seriously, what would Feidelberg do if he had a big date tonight? He'd be like, we can go home and I can fuck you, but you do not want to fuck me. I'm right now filled to the brim with pork and lobster and steak and meat and tuna. You want to fuck that? Don't forget that I also had some rice and blistered tomatoes and onions.

I mean, that, you know, I would have to, like, cancel dates and break up relationships and stuff. Yeah, yeah. Like, as a guy, as a straight guy, I can go eat Subway tuna fish All I want And it's not gonna affect Well It'll affect my You know

My performance a little bit But it's not gonna create A disaster of a situation Whereas For you know For a gay guy It's like Do you imagine having

An anal sex mishap With what you have In your body right now Like there's plenty of stories Of like oh Guys and girls Like oh You there's plenty of stories of like, oh, guys and girls. Like, oh,

you shit on my dick. It's like, yeah, but it was just like they had normal food in them. If fucking lobster and tuna comes out, God almighty.

It's not good. Not good. Not good. Not good. Not good. What a segment am I the asshole is brought to you by Roman

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25-year-old male. Yeah. I like, like, yes. Right now, I'm going to think definitively, but I'm so interested to see if he can turn me. 25-year-old male dating 24-year-old girl named Allie. We moved in five months ago, and I really love her a lot. Allie just doesn't have great table manners. She eats noisily and sloppily.

In a restaurant environment, usually this isn't too bad because of the natural ambient sound. In a quiet room, it's much more noticeable. I don't exactly like it, but I usually can tolerate it. He's already swaying me. However, when Allie eats pasta, she slurps her noodles so loudly that people from other tables

look. It's completely mortifying to hear people murmur about her loud slurping all the time. I know this might just be normal in some cultures. Don't think it is. But from where I'm from in the U.S., it looks really uncultured and bothers some people who are more sensitive to sounds. I've tried to teach her how to use a spoon to spin the pasta into a ball. Now that's crazy. Again, what am I, a magician? Nope, she doesn't want to. I've tried to ask her to take smaller bites.

Nope, that's how she eats pasta and that's how she'll always eat pasta. We've been to a local Italian restaurant half a dozen times and each time but one, and each time but one, she humiliated me with her loud slurpy eating. I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but I agree with the patrons. It's disgusting. People are trying to enjoy a meal. I finally got frustrated one day and told her that I wouldn't eat noodles with her in public anymore. She can eat alone or she can go with friends. I'll happily drive her

to the restaurant, but I will not sit down with her. She kind of blew off my message like, oh, yeah, you're so perfect. I get it. And thought that was that. Last night, Allie really wanted to go to our local Italian place. I asked her if she would be ordering spaghetti. She rolled her eyes and said she would get the lasagna. I agreed that was fine. We went out for the first time in a while. When the waitress came to take our order, Allie completely went back on her promise and ordered spaghetti. I told the waitress that I wouldn't be needing anything.

Stood up and walked to our car. I relaxed in the car, listening to a podcast until Allie came out a little while later. She sat down and started giving me the silent treatment. When we got home, she yelled at me about embarrassing her, would not let me say a single word without shrieking over me and saying that she's only interested in an apology. I refused. She went to the other room to loudly talk shit about me to herself. I don't know if I went too far.

I'm on his side. I am now on his side. He gave her all of – they talked about this. Did she stay and eat? She must have. It seems like she stayed and ate. She just said after some time. Yeah, I mean, if you listen to a podcast, she ate that fucking spaghetti.

Which I love that fucking spaghetti which i love that move too i love both these people i think both these people are assholes that i can condone their behavior she they talked about it and he said listen in a relationship you are relationships are feelings and emotions and emotions are irrational and they're not logical and that's why they're hard relationships because sometimes your partner is going to tell you something like i just really don't like it when you do xyz and and you might be on the other side being like well that's fucking childish but that person just told you what's gonna fucking ruin this relationship if you do this and slurp and slop i'm gonna hate

this and i'm gonna grow to hate you and the relationship's not gonna work and this bitch is still gonna Slurp her spaghetti Now As a matter of fact He should have dumped her But he's given her The chance to still Salvage the relationship

He's a god damn Hero I agree wholeheartedly That a loud eater Is Let's just Do it for the fans Listening now

Just imagine Well That brings me To my next topic Why don't you get yourself A bowl of cereal real quick? And eat my cereal? Because you're one of the loudest eaters on the planet.

With my cereal? You eat your cereal so loud. Let's get the cereal. And then I was going to say the other person in my life who I eat with very often, my father, also exceptionally loud. So this dude can just fucking suck it up. Go get me some cereal. Can you get me the milk? Is there any more milk left?

It's probably been. Just run to the fridge and see if there's any more there. But it doesn't really matter if, like, all that matters is what he's saying. Yeah, no, I agree. Right? So, like, maybe she's not even that bad. Maybe he's just crazy sensitive but it's like i we had a logical discussion before the fact i told you we're not doing this and you fucking did

it that that's really what it's about because because it's also similar to like if i told you like yo we got to be like good tonight please don't get drunk and you just fucking did it anyway that would be these are good. If you have, if in the moment you flip out on someone, it's like, well, that was fucking crazy. But no matter how crazy or illogical it is, in a relationship, when somebody tells you something,

you either got to choose to abide by that or not be down in the relationship. I do respect the fact that he's like, this is just something I'd never say. And I would just be miserable. You just sit there. You respect the fact that he's like, like, this is just something I'd never say. And I would just be miserable. You'd just sit there and like, this goddamn fucking asshole. He's so fucked. Like, how does she like, I almost feel like you have to be exaggerating to say other tables are watched.

Like, other tables in a restaurant? If you. Like, where are you fucking eating? If you're. Is it still good? I don't know. You smell it. You smell it.

I don't know. Yeah, April 6th. It's not. I don't know. Yeah, April 6th. It's been in the fridge the whole time. Oh, never mind. Yeah, once you pop open milk, milk goes fast. Yeah, whoa. Wow. But it's – that's crazy.

Yikes. I don't know if that fridge is, like, on. Woo! If you – you know,'re thinking about spaghetti Cause I mean I actually don't get spaghetti At restaurants Not cause I think it's like I'm gonna like

Be a spectacle But it is messy It's like you know Maybe if it's not even loud It's just A whole thing Yeah yeah yeah So if you

If you just run in there Reckless abandon Like It could It could be And also You're looking Like you're probably You could see it

You gotta slurp once And then slurp again to get it all the way If you're not doing the spoon Doing the spoon is too much Not the spoon but the roll You gotta twist it You definitely twist it I know the Italians go crazy about cutting it up

I'd rather have somebody cut it than slurp. I haven't cut spaghetti as a child. Spaghetti is preposterous food. But her fucking – her doing the – him like being honest and open with his feelings, which again, maybe they are over the top, but they are what he's feeling. And her being just a sly dog about – I'll get lasagna. I'll get lasagna.

And then she comes and goes, give me the spaghetti so I can slurp it in this fucking – Right in this – Yes. That is so disrespectful. That guy, he should have broke up with her on the spot. Because that's the point of it is like – That is like saying, I promise, I'll drive tonight, babe, and then you just get absolutely shit-faced

and make an answer for yourself. That's like saying, yeah, I won't, you know, oh, we're meeting your friends for the first time? Like I'll be on my best behavior, and then you're a loud mouth. Like if you say you're going to do something, and then you just – because that honestly is like the crux of why every relationship fails because you don't do that to like if you tell your boss or your co-workers you're gonna do something like you do it right yeah if you tell us

even a fucking stranger you will treat better than the person in your relationship because you don't want to get embarrassed right right you don't want to be like oh man i told that guy that i wouldn't do this and like we're at this work function and i don't want to look like an idiot but i'll just do that right in my girlfriend's face she'll just do it right in mine because deep down we hate each other. It's just like I will blatantly do the opposite of what I said and I will do the opposite of what you want because we're dating. And that's fucked. It is crazy. So it's like –

It is crazy. And that's like the majority of what happens. It's like that happens – this happens more often than not I would imagine. I know you'll forgive me, so I'll take advantage of that. Yeah, I will push you to the brink every single time because I know

that we'll go home and I'll start to rub your dick and you'll forget about it. That's what happens. And I feel like girls, especially chicks, she was probably like, didn't even consider

that her boyfriend was going to call her on the lasagna thing. She was probably like, yeah, I'll eat lasagna and then I'll lie and I'll eat spaghetti and that's that. And he's like, no, bitch'll eat lasagna, and then I'll lie, and then I'll eat spaghetti, and that's that.

And he's like, no, bitch. A pasta with red sauce? No, no, no. I'm eating my pasta with red sauce. It fucking matters to me very much how that pasta is cut. You go to an Italian restaurant, it's all the same.

You go to any restaurant, it's all the same. It's all the same. It's all, cuisine, food is fucking food, dude. That's what's crazy, too, is like,

just, so you get the ravioli Should I get the pasta With red sauce and the cheese Same thing with I mean Mexican Should I get the burrito Or a taco Or a chimichanga

Or an enchilada It's all the same The only one's that Difference American Cause we steal from all of you And then we make it fatter Yeah We take all the best

From all your fucking cultures Put like GMOs Or whatever in it And make it Glucose America invented Chinese food. America invented Italian food too. Fuck all you guys.

Yeah. Well, I was actually, because hypotheticals just run through my head all day long, I was thinking about, you know, if you had to pick one cuisine, one culture of food for the rest of your life, and I would just pick American because then you get all of them. Yeah. Because like pizza, pizza that we like. Colonialism, bitch. Yeah.

Like pizza that we like is not Italian. That's American. You know what I mean? Right. Traditional pizza is American. Yeah. All of the good versions of what we like is American. Although pizza, I'm souring on pizza.

Really? Yeah, if I can be a little honest here. That's crazier than my take about fucking dudes. I eat pizza so much less than I used to eat pizza now. I don't know what it is. I think New York pizza is really super overrated and it's just like, I don't know. It's, I think I've had

so much pizza in my life that I'm just kind of sick of it. I can't tell you the last time I had a piece of pizza where I was like, fuck. That was great. And obviously it matters where you order from, but I get it from sometimes I get it from Domino's, sometimes I get it from good restaurants here, good pizza places here in New Yorkork i think i think per capita i i would bet like if you on on average new york's got bad pizza because there's just so many so many yeah and there's so

many of like the you know with dollar slice two bros because i try and like get new things i'm like i i have joe's all the time joe's is great a grand village staple um and then i just try and get new stuff sometimes but you know i get joe's all the time i'll's is great. A Grand Village staple. And then I just try and get new stuff sometimes. But, you know, I get Joe's all the time. I'll try this one. So I'm just on the apps and trying to figure out what to get. And I'm always disappointed. Always. I can definitively say in terms of quantity and how often,

as far as the burrito pizza argument goes, I make tacos and eat them way more often. I don't care for burritos either than i eat too big tacos tacos yeah yeah but i think burritos and yeah when we did burritos versus that to me that was mexican food versus pizza yeah yeah uh because i'll i'll eat that multiple nights a week cook it multiple times and i still have a lot of pizza but i definitely have the mex Mexican more often But Again even with tacos

It's like We like I like American tacos With like melted cheese And sour cream And all that shit Cause when you get the Mexican tacos Not corn tortillas either

I hate the corn tortillas Nope That's what I mean So when you get Power tortillas You get the Mexican ones It's corn tortillas And everything's like fresh

And not like melty Or whatever the fuck it is And it's like Okay whatever You can say that's good I like my shit to be like Taco Bell. So American is a catch-all. We get everything.

I get it. Let's go with Tex-Mex. Tex-Mex has the flour. Sure. That works. Flour, I mean, corn tortillas are like... Not good.

I know you're supposed to heat them up a little bit but when you first take them out of like a bag, they're like rubber. Yeah. They're like... Actually, I don't even know

what they're like because I've never bought them I'm gonna bring in A corn tortilla for you When you first touch them It's insane And I also don't A flour tortilla

Is like a pillow It's like this nice I don't warm mine up I don't put them in the microwave Yeah well neither do I I get cold So that's why A flour tortilla is soft

Is perfect A clown tortilla You know You have to heat it up Because naturally It's like It's rubber it's rubber. It's gross.

So anyway, don't eat your fucking spaghetti like a goddamn monster if you don't want to get broken up with. How about that, bitch? Ooh, tale as old as time. Let's do this one. Am I the asshole for not giving up my seat on the bus to a pregnant woman and then showing my scars on my knee to show that I have an injury? Title pretty much explains it all, but I'll add some context. A couple months ago, I, 18 female, that makes a difference too, got into an accident where I was walking across the road and got hit by a car that was way over the speed limit. My right knee and leg basically took most of the impact.

The car stopped and called an ambulance and left a phone number, and we later settled it. I mean, the details. This is a legitimate detail. The car stopped and called an ambulance and left a phone number, and we later settled on it, and I got quite a big sum of money with the help of my parents. Why?

Why do you girls do this? Yeah, it's a girl thing. Tell bad stories with extra details. I don't think that's super unnecessary. I think that's a little like... Why would that matter? I think sometimes it matters in the reader.

I think sometimes, because sometimes you can tell a story where a lot of great stories have unnecessary details. I guess. If you're trying to get a story out. would... Great stories have unnecessary details. I guess. If you're trying to get a story out... These are like... We're in a court of law here. Right.

That's the point. I guess if she was saying it was so bad, it was such a bad injury that I got like $5 million, I guess that could add color, but that's not really what she said. Anyway, girls suck at telling stories. A bone in my leg was broken. There we go.

A bone in my leg was broken and my kneecap was basically fractured. Fast forward to my leg has been fine i'm walking my knee hurts quite a bit okay i'm walking with a cane at 18 years old i'm a bit embarrassed by it but i gotta deal with it yesterday after school i got on the bus to go home my knee had been bothering me all day and i was happy to go home once i got on the bus i took a seat as one does a couple stops later a pregnant woman entered and she looks around to see if there was a spot for her to sit, which there wasn't. I was one of the younger people, probably not the youngest though, on the bus and therefore she decided that I was the perfect candidate to give up my seat. So she walked over and basically told me that I

had to get up so she could sit down. She didn't ask me, she told me. So I tried to explain in a soft voice to not attract much attention, since I have social anxiety, that I have a knee injury and that it's hard for me to keep my balance on the bus while standing and it was hurting a lot. Well, this woman started yelling at me saying that I was just making excuses and that she didn't believe me. So I lifted up the dress I was wearing to my knee and showed my scars. I admit that my scars don't exactly look pretty or are nicely healed or anything, but I had no interest in continuing the discussion. I made sure that there was no little kids around when I lifted up the dress. The woman didn't know what to say, and she just kept on sulking and went to someone else to get them to give up their

seat. I thought that was that, but suddenly a person sitting behind me found it necessary to weigh in on the situation by saying that I was way out of line by showing her my scars, and that I embarrassed the woman, and that I could have easily stood up and just sucked it up for the remainder of my route. I have my decision very much made.

It's very easily. She's not the abs. Absolutely. Like, no hands. I mean, not only, I'll go as far to say this. Like, you should give up your seat to a pregnant woman, but you don't have to. But also, I thought when she said scars, I thought it could be like, I had an injury when I was fucking 12. To have like a fresh mangled scar.

Yeah, that's not a scar. It sounds like you have fucking stitches or something like that. Yeah, this woman's like disabled. So this is disabled versus pregnant, which is at best a coin toss. I give the head to disabled. I would too, and that's what I was going to say. I think you're old, you're pregnant, like you should hope like I would hope that you get a spot and people should give it to you. But you're not within your rights to go call people out.

I think that like that is a courtesy that we should extend. But if people don't want to, you do not get to say this. Like, that's not a rule. You know what I mean? That's like you're just you're just you want something and you're making someone else give it to you and you don't know what other people have wrong with them and shit you know what i mean there are a million times i'm like my back is fucking killing me you're like two months pregnant get the fuck out of here i guarantee i'm in not not with pregnant people because i will do that but with old people there are a lot

of times where i'm like i promise you i'm in more pain than you. I promise you I am in a worse situation than you. I've never had this happen because it is that crazy to have like a fucking someone. It's got to be so rare to be like, are you going to get up? Yeah, but we've never I've never had someone. I don't take this up, but I'm just I've had people, you know, I've seen people look around. I've seen people kind of like I've seen other people look like, are you going to get it or am I going to get it? I had something happen yesterday. There's definitely been times where I'm like, yo, bro, my shit is fucked up.

I'm sitting down. I had yesterday happen. I got on the subway. It was just cold out. I didn't have a – wait, maybe it was two days ago. Whatever it was. Recently. It was I get on the subway and I just don't carry masks anymore.

I'm all vaccinated. I don't need to – Done with it. When people go, do you have a mask? And I just go, no. I'm like, I don't. I don't carry masks anymore i'm all vaccinated i don't need to done with it when people go do you have a mask and i just go no i don't i don't have a mask you don't need them here i don't like that i know there are other places where you need them in new york you just don't need them right there i i actually don't know the rule on the subway if you're supposed to still wearing them or not i'm not sure but i'm not i don't ride it enough but right i ride when i do i don't when i when i ride it i ride it three stops i just ride it here to my apartment

it's and i and I rarely do that. It's just like when it's raining or some shit like that. And so I get on the subway and I didn't have a mask. And it wasn't particularly crowded, but there were like every three seats there was a person. I sit down. This chick is in a mask next to me, like two seats away, like not right there. And she never said anything. But tough and puffing and looking and then she gets up and moves

like three seats down and plopped down plopped her purse i was like i don't first of all i think we were already six feet away from each other i don't know i love when people do like that's like what do you i'm almost inclined to move back with them and get close to them again i love knowing that i'm bothering people like that like literally, literally, we're two, three seats away, whatever. We're a good distance away from each other. You got a mask. I got all the vaccines. What are we – why are you still making such a fuss about this?

It's insane. Everywhere. In New York, most people aren't wearing masks. No. You walk on the street. You're now the asshole if you're in a mask. Because now it's like – it's a look at me thing. It's a pick me move.

It's like, yeah, we get it, okay? You're extra safe. Not necessary at me thing. It's a pick me move. It's like, yeah, we get it. Okay? You're extra safe. Not necessary at all anymore. And anybody who makes a stink, I think it's in my blood for my mom. I'm inclined to be like, well, now I'm fighting back. See, now I was the opposite. I cowered. I was like, oh, fuck.

I feel like a real dickhead. Yeah, well, that's you. You're a big old pussy. No, but I won't cause a scene. But if you're going to cause a scene, make something out of it, I'm making something out of it back. I mean that – I'll take it a step further too. I remember when Caitlyn was pregnant. Now, Caitlyn was also like an unbelievable pregnant woman.

She was like in shape and like was – she was probably – no, she was definitely in much better shape than I was as a pregnant woman. And like she didn't like that. She was like, I don't people you know now i'm like taking your seat and i feel bad and people are looking like i'm fine i'm going three stops or whatever like i can do it you know she's like i i did find it funny she's like i walk around like all day it's not like i you can't be on your feet you know what i mean people have done this for as long as civilizations existed yeah yeah but uh but all on top of that. Not that it's easy, but you know what I mean. It's not a new, unique situation.

And on top of that, to flash a gruesome injury and be like, see, bitch? And then have someone be like, you didn't have to do that to her. Yeah, you didn't have to embarrass her. Oh, I had to embarrass her. She was in my face, like, yelling at me. Of course I had to. Fuck off. All this shit's stupid. Just let people.

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So I guess my question is today, what is the most useless but useful social skill? Your parents, your dad, somebody taught you? For me, going into college, I think the most useful thing my dad taught me was how to shotgun a beer. Maybe he didn't teach me how to probably accept my emotions, how to do that shit, but

I'm going to shotgun a beer, made a few friends that way because everybody loves to see a kid shotgun, but he also told me an important piece of advice with that was, going back to one of the questions I heard earlier, don't be the dude who does shit for money. He was also with that advice, don't be the dude who does it to excess

where you're blacked out drunk, pissing yourself. But obviously I didn't lose that because the ACT they're fake. And yeah, so I guess going forward, what is the most useful but useless skill you learned from your parents yeah wow I stepped closer don't get me wrong it was hard

I was only picking up a couple things but it was the most useful social skill your parents gave you I think the example was one his dad gave him so I don't know if he said dad or parents I don't see the thing my parents didn't teach me anything but they but they prepared me for everything at so at the same time they taught me for like everything yeah i mean but i never had like my dad was never like all right this is how you shotgun a beer but i was just like when the

time came i was able to look at it and be like all right i can shotgun a beer now so i think they did a good job right rather than teaching me everything they just taught me how to be capable. But it is a good question if there's, like, don't be the guy, that was, Bert Kreischer's dad told him that. Like, he did it, he saw him do it with his friends one day, and he pulled him in and he was like, boom, fucking do that again. He was like, but look, I got like $20. It's not worth being the kid that does that.

I don't know, like, I don't the kid that does that. I don't know. I don't have anything fun like that. I would have like exercise would probably be one. Mental health days. My mom, take your days off for yourself. That was a good social skill. I think I will teach Keegan how to drink. How to drink?

He didn't like not let me drink but he didn't yeah i'm not gonna say i'm not gonna be one of those like at 14 you're gonna have like wine at dinner and then i'm gonna i'm going to instill in him like be the guy who can hold your liquor and like if you can't because your tolerance is low or whatever then like don't drink a lot because being like sloppy drunk kid is not a good look the i mean the big one was like like i don't like i'll fucking kill you if i hear you're driving drunk yeah that's a huge one that's not even like a that was like a skill but that's like drunk you can do whatever but yeah if your life's over if

you're driving drunk that's a really good one that should almost be like i think i think um i think that's another thing that like in the future people will be like they used to drive like this because like go birds and everything and Especially self-driving cars. Yeah, but people when they're like gonna be all fucked up But they're gonna be people used to get behind a wheel you guys They'd be surprised that they just let us drive cars at all period yeah Yeah, we drove them we oh That must have sucked like you couldn't tax

Yeah, no we did well it all. We weren't paying attention. We broke all the rules. At all. Very little. Even a little bit. Very little. We were watching movies on the screen. That came on with the car. Yeah, we just did everything.

People shaved. They did makeup. It was crazy. People read the paper. Fucking nuts. It's fucking insane that we're allowed to drive a car. No, it really is. Oh, they let you do it when you were

an adult, right? No, like 16-year-old girls. Small children were allowed to do it. I mean, this is all part of advice for my unborn son that I plan on giving. I think it's not an individual skill, but I think be able to drink and hold your liquor.

A good handshake's a good one. My dad beat a handshake into me. One of my dad's most old school social skills he taught me was, and it didn't work, but if you smile, you trick yourself into being happy. Clearly. So he was like. Ain't no tricking happening there. He was like.

Jackie's face was like. He was like, you just smile all the time and your brain thinks you're happy nah and I was like that just means my cheat code that's why I fucking smile

all the time I'm just trying so hard hey guess who won fucking best smile of 5th grade guess who won best smile but also was fucking like institutionalized

in 5th grade me every single fucking yearbook ever guess who had best smile the kid who was doing it the whole time still doing it was fucking like uh institutionalized in fifth grade every single fucking yearbook ever guess who had best smile the kid who was doing it the whole time still doing it it went into me it is yet to be successful i think i think the main thing i will try to instill is and it's kind of a catch-all but just don't be the creepy guy don't be the creep that's a good one like i don't want you to

be the guy who's creeping on chicks i don't want you to be the guy who texts girls a thousand times i don't want you to be the guy who's leaning up on them at the bar like be that's don't that's a good that's a don't be a sexual creep yeah that's my crazy idea to instill in myself but like right you know like the guys who the guys who will cast a wide net and ask everybody out and try to fuck everybody. It's like I don't want you to be – but at the same time, I think don't have a fear of rejection. But don't use that like reckless abandon. But I do think being afraid to talk to a girl or to go up and order a drink or to you know just being like socially afraid i think is a bad self-confidence yeah

that's the word not gonna next up didn't get that one hey what's up everybody uh trade god here i've called him before about banging twos on wordles and requesting poop talk also sorry my voice a little messed up it's fucking allergy season as fuck right now. But basically, I make surveys for a whole bunch of episodes of KFC Radio. And KFC quote tweeted my survey from Tuesday's episode and requested the results. So I have the results for you here. First of all, on the earwax earbud spectrum, it was super evenly distributed amongst the chicken heads. A large range of ear distributed amongst the chicken heads, a large range of

ear hygiene, uh, amongst the listeners. So don't really know who came out on top of that one. Um, suggestions for fights to look shorter and fatter on camera so that he doesn't disappoint people in public, uh, include having worse posture, uh, always sitting in a lower chair than everybody around him at all times, and don't buy clothes that fit. The overwhelming majority of listeners agreed that in the automobile war that Kevin is currently fighting against Enterprise, the car shop, the DMV, and the leasing agent, I asked who would win. the consensus was everybody but kevin um it is confirmed true

that kfc views his children as 45 pound medicine balls uh in all walks of life this is not an idea that is exclusive to weddings um most people agree that tom sagura's brad pitt story uh was just because he wanted to do a fat name drop he didn didn't think it would add anything to the interview. He just wanted to flex that Rusty from Ocean's Eleven thought he was funny. Some of the best fights tattoos ideas. Moonman beating off.

A collage of all the colleges that are on fights' lengthy prestigious resume. A jar of mayonnaise. Something of Jackie's choice, and lastly, vomit. Vomit. And if Pavs had not

run from the jaws of death at his game, Cox Women's Basketball, most people agree that what would have transpired after is Don Staley and Aaliyah Boston would have both verbally and physically pegged him. A close second was that.

That was a good time. Don't let his dad know. He promptly fucks up another backdoor cut and is asked to leave. I believe that's everything. I do think if we made a Frankenstein mascot of all your schools, the beak of this thing and the arms of this thing and the paws of that thing, you could probably make a badass mascot. I had another huge strikeout with my car. I thought I had it. I thought I figured it out because my friend said to me, man, like everybody's getting fucked with cars right now because of the supply chain.

And they were like, she said to me, like, nobody can get like their car problem solved. I mean, maybe you can, but like regular people like us can't. And I was like, wait a minute. Yes, maybe I can. Maybe I can use some of this power for good. I can use my connections. And I remember that last year when my car first broke down, the people from Hyundai were going to get down and do some advertising. And they hooked me up with a rental car.

And so I was like, yes, those guys were super helpful. And they almost worked with us and sponsored the podcast. They're going to help me out. I was like, when they see this, for sure, I'm getting out of this. This is going to be the – You hadn't thought of that. I had not thought of that. I had thought of it and didn't mention it Because I thought it was so obvious Nope, did not even think of it

Because I don't even remember that people like me Email the guy I'm like, remember you hooked me up last time Here's my problem Sob story about the kids And how I'm not going to be able to drive them around I can't afford all this, I'm fucked Automatic bounce back

Hi, I'm not available right now i'm on paternity leave with no access to email which i know you're lying about paul i know you're from you're listening to this on the internet right now fucking go on your email and answer it so i i email tyler who is his uh you know you know if, if you do need anything in case of emergency, well, if it's a goddamn emergency, please email Tyler, who has promptly deleted that email. Like, I don't know you. Goodbye. See you later.

And so now I'm just, I am doing what I do best, which is running from my problems. And this is a problem that you cannot run from. By running, I use... You have a car, a whole car that a company wants. And they are calling me... Two whole cars that companies want. Right. I have two cars that people want.

Insurance is no longer willing to cover with an expired license. I'm breaking the law. I'm breaking my contract. I'm breaking two contracts. And all the while, I'm just racking up money because they're probably like, we have a credit card on file you're stealing our car and I'm just like gonna keep driving

until I don't know I run out of money I guess because I don't know what else to do so this is the ultimate problem that you just can't run from Last Voicemail of the Day is brought to you by 3Chi in order to survive this latest predicament I'm going to need gobs of 3Chi.

I'm going to hit the vape pen with the gummies while I eat a brownie, while I drink some water with the drink mix in there because I need all the Delta-8 THC I can get in my body. Just kidding. I will do it responsibly. But it is the answer to all your problems. Also just kidding, but it does help with a lot of your problems because Delta eight has everything you need to help with chronic

pain, to help you deal with anxiety, to help you deal with your stress, to make you feel better and get you a little high and help you enjoy your life a little bit more. So whether you're trying to get through the tough things in life or you're just going home, like when I know I'm having a three Chi night and it's like on deck, maybe I'll do it tonight. I'm like, I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna eat that gummy a little bit early. It's going to kick in right when it's movie time or TV time and I'm going to be golden. And that's why they make all the different ways that you can get it in your body. The drink enhancers being the newest one where you can pour it in tasteless powder into your water or they have flavored ones like pink lemonade where you're just drinking a lemonade that gets you high.

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It's your boy Mello 30 rows up podcast. Here's the deal. I'm just sitting here watching the NCAA championship UNC Kansas go UNC. And I'm just, you know, eating my chips, having my salsa, chips and salsa, chips and dip, right? Fire. And I just had one of the top five painful experiences of my life. And it happens a lot. Biting your tongue or cheek has to be a top five pain that just everyday life we go through.

And you don't bite your tongue every day, every week, every month, but when it happens it's the worst fucking pain so I wanted to hear your thoughts on what the worst pain that you experience in your daily life is is a terrible thing specifically your cheek because then you bite your cheek the rest of the week because it

swells up and then it's in the middle of your teeth I thought with the setup he was going with the ultimate pain because then you bite your cheek the rest of the week because it swells up and then it's in the middle of your teeth. I thought with the setup, he was going with the ultimate pain, biting on a chip sideways. That's twisted up on you. That actually, and take it a step further, I've had. But that doesn't bother you for a week. That hurts a little bit.

Listen, I've had a chip get like in my gum, you know, like in between the tooth and the gum by like biting down on it wrong right that was like a like like when they put bamboo underneath your fingernails that was like the most painful thing that's ever happened to me i i i think you might be wrong with the long you might be right with the longevity of how long your cheek will be bitten and how long it'll hurt but the in the moment instant pain I think biting the chip wrong is worse. It is. Also because that can vary. You kind of bite down the same pressure every time

because you stop yourself. When you just go to bite, and you might have the point of a Dorito, depending on what the chip is, when it hits the roof of your mouth or your cheek or whatever, that is like getting stabbed. What was the full question? Like top five worst pains.

Worst pains? The toe stub, the lip bite, the chip bite. I think what it comes down to is what happens to you the most often. Mine is absolutely sleeping funny. So like waking up with a sore neck or something like that. Because that also ruins your whole day. It's everything you do. Someone calls your name.

You're doing a show. Your head feels like it's 100 pounds. It is. When you get home for the day and you can – you know what I do when I hang my head over something like this? And I just like take all the weight off of it. It's like, I mean... I've never done that. It's so good, dude.

It is so good. Your neck, like... Because it's that... Your mouth is the same thing, because a mouth injury and a spinal injury are two of... Because they affect every single thing you do. They are by far one and two.

If you've ever... Your stubby toe, that hurts. I don't know. I are by far one and two. If you've ever – Stub your toe, that hurts. I don't know. I don't know. It sucks. Actually, I think stubbing your toe doesn't hurt because there is a – it's one of the injuries that has an immediate, an absolute immediate remedy. Now, everything else lingers for a while.

You go, fuck! You're fine. You're fine right away. I don't know what it is. It's a cliche, but! You're fine. You're fine right away. I don't know what it is. It's a cliche, but it really is true. I think something happens when you become a father. It's primarily that there's shit all over the floor because of your kids. But it's like they seek out my feet.

Like, I've been stepping on a plug. There's a toy that has a cord, and it's unplugged right now. And I stepped on it and it fucking i mean killed me and i like kicked it out of the way and then the new spot i kicked it to i ended up walking through there and stepped on it again and i was ready to throw it out the fucking window it's just like you will step and stub everything once you're a dad that to me i hate that feeling that split second in between where your brain hasn't registered that it hurts yet and it's just like it's coming and then it hits you like a fucking wave.

The mouth though, have you ever had like cinnamon toast crunch like drunk? You ever have a bowl of cereal with like sharp cereal? You wake up in the morning. Oh, Cap'n Crunch. Cap'n Crunch. Cap'n Crunch. Well, I mean you wake up with a mouth full of blood. It'll ruin you.

It's like, oh, I thought you have a bowl of milk and blood. You're more fine after a blow bang than a fucking bowl of Cap'n Crunch. Absolutely. 100%. I'd rather have like 10 to 15 dicks in my mouth than eat a bowl of Cap'n Crunch. I love it. I love it. Yeah, but you got to let that sit for like 15 minutes before you take your first bite.

Yeah, I'm sure there's like worse pains. But as far as the everyday pains I would say this In no particular order because I don't really know Stubbing the toe Biting the lip Or the chip like the mouth thing Sore neck

Cut your fingernail too low Oh yeah I told you I used that as an excuse when I was a kid Why I couldn't do homework And the teacher was like You're right I mean that's brutal And

At last one It's something that doesn't Like happen as an adult Anymore But there was I feel like there was A period of time Where I got the wind

Knocked out of me Like every day Oh that's one As a kid Yeah And it eventually Just stops Because you don't

Put yourself in A position where you're Like falling out of a tree Jumping off of a roof Anymore But when you And you can't breathe You think you're gonna a position where you're, like, falling out of a tree, jumping off of a roof anymore. But when you – When you think about that as a child – And you can't breathe, you think you're going to die.

You think you're going to die. How many times you – that's why I find it odd that, like, adults can't deal with death. Like, there are so many adults who can't deal with it because, like – We've all been on the brink. I made my peace with death when I was six. Yeah. I made my peace with death regularly from ages six to 18. All the time.

This is the one. I'm going to die. This is it. All right. My family. I've seen my life flash before my eyes. I've seen my family's reactions. I am comfortable with death because of how often I got the wind knocked out of me.

That feeling of just like you hear your bones and it's kind of like a blue ball hitting the wall. It makes a rubber sound, but also like, and then just it hurts but you also can't breathe crawling like yeah no one can help you you're you're looking around for help but no one can help you yeah i've died i i yo i'm like a fucking cat i'm like a fucking like a fucking sphinx or whatever the the the the egyptian gods were i have come back to life countless times because of how ready I was to die. I've seen the light. Brother, I've been to the other side and I came back.

All right. Hit us with your top five most painful things. It's interview time. We got Josh Adam Meyer on the podcast. One of our funniest interviews in a long time. It's brought to you by Schick. Feidelberg. Pop the top one more time.

Show the people. Look at that. Look how smooth that belly time. Show the people. Look at that. Look how smooth that belly is. Yeah, sensitive. Look at that smooth belly. Don't take me. I'm sensitive. You were sensitive, and that's why we use Schick, because we use this right here, which

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has improved so much since we last did it. That's what's crazy. Last time I really shaved was 10 years ago. Now I know that if I need a clean shave, I only go to Schick. And on top of all that, they have the bamboo handle if you want a nice weight to it with an environmentally safe choice. You can try any of those Schick products, whether you're shaving your face, shaving your body. Either way, the best razors out there, the best blades out there all belong to Schick. Thank you guys so much at Schick for sponsoring the podcast and sponsoring the Blade Bet.

It was really one of our best pieces of content in a while, and we got so many subscribers out of it. So if you're down with KFC Radio, hook up Schick and be loyal to them as well because they are a huge part of KFC Radio now. So make sure that you do them right and make sure you shave with Schick. You get a 20% discount on any men's item when you go to Schick.com and use promo code Barstool. They're one of the biggest companies in the world that are getting down with Barstool and KFC Radio.

That's a huge, huge thing for us when it happens. So please, let's make it count and make sure you use that promo code. It's Barstool when you go to Schick.com for 20% off any men's individual item. It's Josh Adam Myers on the podcast. Let's talk to him. You ever dip a Kit Kat in peanut butter? Well, I think it all started, it always started for me with movies. You go to the movies, you get popcorn, and then at Arclight in Los Angeles when I was living there.

Yeah. Sorry, I didn't realize it was going to happen. living there yeah no you're good dude i have nothing to do today we're talking about i'm talking about candy oh okay good well what are we talking i mean what candy are we talking we're talking about everything we're talking because he was talking you were talking about his it started with his sheets and like with your sheets getting silly putty on your sheets and i said i do that but with chocolate and then and then i said i said that happened with me with swedish fish and then and then me and mike just started connecting like a a playground conversation in second grade like man i fucked up my bed my mom's mad at me it started because jock said he had a silly putty addiction and i, oh, when was that? By the way, I didn't just say that. I saw that. Dilly Putty?

Can I move seats? I don't want to be that close to him. As a kid or as an adult even? It's an adult thing. Do you like to play with it? It's just a play. What do you do? Maybe I put my dick on it and I form the cocoon.

Yeah, I would absolutely try it. It takes like three or four of them, not just one single. Dude, I was actually out with my kids the other day and they were buying little fucking slime things or whatever and I saw that toy we always talk about. You know that toy that's like

Yes! It's like What do they call that in prison? Fifi. It's like a kid's like uh what do they call that in prison uh uh so i saw that well that's what fucked me up was that i i was like i've always joked on this podcast about how i fucked i was like a ton of times and i saw like it was in the kids section it was like a little one i was like oh man that's that's not right once you start figuring out how your dick works you're figuring out what things you can fuck and it's pretty much like all of the things at first like you'll try anything once with your vacuums and

i tried i tried the worst ever was i tried to fucking uh like a big thing i want to be clear first here it didn't fit okay it didn't fit meaning it was it was too small yeah but it was like it was like a you know like the bigger things Like Pantene Pro V Yeah like the Like the Costco size Yeah And I took the Screwed the top off

With shampoo And I tried to stick my dick in it Shampoo in your dick is like It's gonna burn your Dirt call Yeah It goes all the way in In pain for weeks

Like Like dude Like think about like When you kind of thought That you have an STD And you're like Alright I'm gonna give it a few days And like

But then I'll take myself to the doctor If i have something i was like nine like in my bedroom like i can't tell my mom and dad about this the shampoo i can't yeah was your dick like inflamed it was red and it was it was a red rock i am like it was so it wasn't like, but yeah, it was red. It was fucking red. It smelled incredible, dude. Whenever I hear about childbirth and kidney stones, I'm like, no, no, no. Horse pain known to man or woman. Shampoo in your dick. I don't think I've had it enough to really register.

I have had a kidney stone. Yeah, that shit sucks. And that shit sucks, dude. That shit fucking sucks. I would imagine a kidney stone is a little more of a – it takes days and days and shit, right? I had to have the – they had to do the laser thing to break it up. Why can't they just like break it up all the way if they're in there? Like it still hurts after they do that, right?

I don't know. I was fucking 17 years old and it just hurt. Yeah, dude. Did you have to – did you have a bunch of them? No. It was like I just went in and I was like, I was like, God, my fucking, like, it hurts right here. And then they did like a scan of me and they were like, you have that? And I was like, it's like, we can either wait for it to pass or we could just break it up right now.

And they were like, all right. And so they just took me in another room. They laid you down and did the thing. And then I was just, and then it was just like, ah, it was done. Dude, we had to have one of our guys with PFT here. We went through a phase. We had like 10 of them? Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

The worst part to me was where it's like, all right, you got one out. You know you have nine more in your near future. Like that fucking. I'd be like, cut a hole in me. He still has one? Yeah, they're not a lot. They're not a lot. That thing's got to be like fossilized by now.

That was like months ago. Shit. There's just one employee here that's just walking around. Sweating, crying. The stress you have at all times times knowing it's right there. At any moment. The real pain is the internal passing, right? Yeah.

When it goes from your bladder to your kidney or whatever. Mine was only a two-day thing. Something started bothering me, and then from that, it was like I had to go to the hospital that night, and then I stayed over that night, and then the next morning they did the thing to get rid of it. What's the worst pain you've experienced? Fuck, man. When my mom said she didn't love me. Emotional?

Fuck, man. I haven't really broken anything that bad. You know, fuck, I don't know. When was the last time you were in a fight you scrap a lot the last I could see you scrapping the last fight

I got into was in college it was on drop classes day and I was like hung over and I'm waiting the line is like

so long out the door and I'm waiting and there's a girl in front of me and suddenly this boyfriend of the girl cuts in line

and I'm just like I don't know what it was but I just start talking shit to the guy. I mean, I do know what it was. You were hung over the line. I was like, dude, you're a fucking bitch, dude. Your girl fucking waits for you, dude. What the fuck's your problem? He's like, dude, she's not even dropping a class.

It's like we're literally just holding my spot. I was like, fuck you, man. You're a bitch. And I keep drawing. And then he goes to his counter and I go to my counter. And then he leaves before me. And as he's to his counter, and I go to my counter, and then he leaves before me. And as he's leaving, he's, like, standing in the doorway, and he's like, hey, man, fuck you.

And I'm just like, you lady. I'm like, hurry up. Come on. And I fucking book downstairs because he took the elevator. I get – I'm in front of the student union. This is so embarrassing. I'm in front of the student union. He walks out with his girlfriend, and he just sees me.

He's like, oh, come on. Always take the stairs, man. Always take the stairs. And then Sickler, every time I told this story to Sickler, you guys, by the way, he says hi. He goes, this makes him laugh because I go, dude, you gave me the finger. Do it again, but do it right in my face. No, do it right here. And he's just like, dude, this is, I do not want to fight. This is over.

And then I'm just like, well, you're a bitch. And then I spit on him. Oh! That's where I got it. I recuse myself. You spit on someone. We're fighting. But then he charged me. Was it like a facial?

It was like a widespread contraband. But it hit him, and then he started doing that like... Hulking up?band, contra widespread. Yeah. But it hit him, and then he started doing that like. Hulking up? Yeah. Hulking up, and then I was just like. Are we even? Is this like an even fight?

Even Steven. That was the only reason I did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was even Steven 100%. And then he charged me, and I wasn't expecting it. And so then I kind of. I mean, who could have saw that coming? I mean, I spit in his face, and the guy attacked me.

And then we were on the ground. I'm punching him. He's punching me. My shirt got torn a little bit. His girl's crying. Oh, sure. And this is where it gets weird. They break us up.

And the guy's like, do you want any more? Is that it? And I just look at him. I grab my bag. I go, thanks, man. I needed that. And I just walk off. And he's probably standing there like, the fuck, dude?

Are you fucking nuts? That was it. Last fight. That was it. Last fight. That's an insane thing to say after your last fight ever. Like, that's it. You're retired.

I'm going to get another fight tonight. Like, thanks, man, I needed that. Ready for the exam next hour. All right, here we go. Come on, I'm awake. But there is something about, like, who was telling, it was Francis on Gillis' podcast. He was telling a story about, like, it was one of those things where the crews, both

crews fought each other, so everyone kind of paired off, and it was like a scrap for like, I don't know, three minutes probably, and then it ended, and everybody was like, all right, man. Dab it up. Yeah, like, kind of like, all all right it was an even fight we all are drunk we did our thing like the cops are coming now let's get out of here and everyone was like cool cool man did you guys have a friend that fought all the time which basically made you so unattracted to the idea of fighting because it was just i had a buddy my buddy Matt and he was just a big drinker, bigger dude and he was an alpha. He was the

alpha kind of of our group. Mostly because he always had a hot chick and he was just playing lacrosse and blah blah blah and we would go to the beach for senior week and I remember we were walking the boardwalk and that was where he fought. If you want to fight, you can go to the boardwalk. Ocean City, Maryland

just white Maryland trash and Matt walking around in his fucking lacrosse gear. Such a bitch. And there's this dude walking with two girls and it's just me and two other guys. Me, Matt, and my friend Greg. And we're walking by and Matt just walks up to the guy and goes, you think you're better than us because you've got two girls?

And then just pops the guy, breaks his face, and I'm just like like what are you doing like that is insecurity on a wild fucking level just it's like i can see that guy being like no dude they're my sister they're both blind and i'm leading them to i absolutely do not think i'm better than anyone what are you talking about we had we had a kid who in a very similar town to Ocean City, it was Newport, Rhode Island, and we'd have, like,

fucking lacrosse pennies on. I didn't even play lacrosse. It was like, we just had such fucking douchebags. You gotta see. While you tell the story, I'll pull up pictures. Yeah, please pull up pictures.

And there's summer high school that's just like... Because you're already looking 100% different than you did on Skanks. Once you shaved that beard, dude, I was like, did you have court? What are you doing? I was gonna say, he went from like a you know convicted felon back to like upper middle class but the so like we just had like piles of lacrosse pennies in our like summer

share houses that we just wear everywhere and we had one friend who would just play a game walking down thames which is like the main street in in newport and it was just called stiff shoulders yeah and it was he would just walk with stiff shoulders and would not move for anybody until he hit someone who started a fight. And that was his game. And it would be... Is that middle school, high school, or is that...?

That is high school. That was the... Dude, I've DJ'd so many middle school dances with that kid. Just right out of... With his shark neck to the song. Just dry-humping a girl to to a song to the thong song it's a shamrock necklace that was cut off by the police so i couldn't hang myself in jail that is kind of cool to be honest and then uh you're gonna lose your short shamrock necklace just the idea

that the cops are like all right we need your shoelaces. We're going to need that puka shell necklace. Let's take that off. And just you and your umbros go to jail. That's what you're going in there with, umbros. It was fucking, like the cops, one of the cops was talking. The woman who wears the full length, by the way, with the magic shorts. Yeah, the magic shorts. That's even better. Nice.

It's just awful. They classed it up. See the bottoms. Portsmouth picture. I mean, there's just so many. It's good hair, though, dude. Yeah. That's really good picture. It's good hair though, dude. That's really good hair. That's really good lay.

You got like a River Phoenix coif. He'll kill himself too. But the cops were like, I was like, look, this is a choker. Do I have to take this one off? And they're like, no, no, it's fine. And this is a billboard of masks. And as he's saying that, a female cop comes up behind me. And she's like, it's coming off And this is in Bill Ricker, Mass. And as he's saying that, a female cop comes up behind me and she's like, it's coming off, sir!

And she had a knife out. Didn't give me any warning, just grabbed the knife and did it in one swoop. And I was like, that was really fucking close for not even saying, hey, don't move for a second. Give me a little warning when a knife is touching my skin on the throat.

That, uh, yeah, that the guy that fights too much is the worst guy to be. Yeah. I didn't have that. I had guys who were obsessed with getting pussy to the point that I was turned off by that. I was like, fucking chicks. I'm not even going to do that. These guys are like the guys who, you know, they go out and they have to fuck somebody or the night is like a bust. I've been that guy before.

I have been that guy. I'm trying to calm it down now here in New York City because going from L.A., which is like, I'm not saying it's hard at all in L.A., but every girl that you meet is like trying to level up and find a producer or whatever. And then you come to New York and it's just every girl seems like they're down to hang.

That's fine, though. I mean, if you're fucking fine. But if you go out and you don't fuck one night Oh no I don't give a shit Yeah I'll go Especially now I go home to my dog

And fucking Got a nice couch I'd have guys Who were like Sitting at the bar Like sulking Being like That girl's a bitch anyway

And like And it's like So then I'd be like I'd be so far The opposite way I'd be like Let's just drink A thousand beers

And eat pizza Because you guys Are being lame again Let's just do it For the boys Yeah yeah Because it was like I couldn't get laid

At the time This is just fucking stupid. I had a buddy like that in college. He was so obsessed with chicks that he would call out hot chicks. We'd be driving. I went to college in Florida, so we drove a lot. We'd be driving and he'd be like,

yo, yo, yo, hot chicks coming up, hot chicks coming up. And we'd get there and it'd be a guy with long hair i was like dude like just wait until you're sure it's the right sex before you like demand like everyone look at the hot girl who's coming wait i think he's fluid though i think he's fluid i think so no he's a straight dude you'd be like in college and like they're like you'd have like a super bowl party and they show up the world of chicks at like we're software in college and you'd have a Super Bowl party and they'd show up and be like, where are the chicks at? We're sophomore in college at a Super Bowl party. They're not here.

They don't want to be here. I feel like every guy has a moment in their life where it's like when they first started having sex where it's like the floodgates are kind of open because once you experience it and then you're put into a situation that's not your high school or unless for some people it might have been high school, but it's like going to college, and it's just like there's women everywhere, and you're just like overloaded on like, oh my God. I can fuck all these people. I can fuck everybody. I also think that happens when, at least for me,

the first time I kind of lowered my standards a little bit. Yeah, there it is. Well, now there's a lot of people. At first it was like, I want the hot chick, and she's got to look like this, got to look like that. And then when I went down a couple points, I was like, I want the hot chick. It's got to look like this, got to look like that. And then when I went down a couple points, I was like, well, now we can do this all the time.

Dude, drinking and drugs. All right. I'll give you this one. This isn't like, I don't have to be clean. Do it. Okay, I figured that out. I mean, I'm talking about like raping someone. There's no raping.

So I drugged this girl when we were drinking one night. All right, so I've got this layer in my basement with chains. So I used to be a raver. I was a raver in D.C. and Baltimore, and I'm cutting out a lot of – Yeah, come on, dude. I was – I'm not going to lie to you. I would have pegged you as like a rock guy, though. Oh, I was.

Yeah. But I was also a raver. I had, because I went, what happened was I backpacked to Europe for like seven months. I did ecstasy for the first time in Amsterdam. And then when I, and that was where I went to like a dance club. What age is this? This is, this is, this is 1997. So I'm like 18, 19, but I didn't start going to raves until 98, right around the turn of

like 99 and I but I'm cutting a lot of that shit out because it's like the main story I want to because first of all you get into the raves and sex is just being like offered it's literally like it's just like it's just woodstock everybody's everybody's horny everybody's on drugs they do a cuddle puddles

Adam oh yeah dude yeah I've had I've had I've had a cuddle bump dude I went to I mean not like it's just yeah dude I've had I've had a cuddle bump Have you? You just end up having an orgy right? I've never really had an orgy I'm just saying like I've been I can't say that because I just went

to my first sex party out here Never been in an orgy except I did last week There's this chick There's this chick We gotta do so much We gotta explain the rave situation week no but see this there's there's this there's this chick there's this chick wait wait wait hang on we gotta do so much we gotta we gotta explain the rave situation we gotta explain the cuddle i need like a to-do list here i want to have a sex party too all right so well the raver thing

the raver thing was i'm i was 18 19 years old i think i just turned 19 and i was working at this restaurant and like everybody that worked there was kind of my age and we were all like drinking and doing drugs. And one of the guys was like, dude, there's this huge rave in D.C. every Friday night. You should go to it. And I went with him and it was like it was just like this. Like I said, that moment opening, there's some of the most beautiful women in the world. Raver women are the way they dress, everything about them, just gorgeous. It's like I think the only women that might be hotter are like x games girlfriends you know what i mean that's a great one they do the eight flips and then they cut to the girlfriend like god fuck the flip the 980 go back to her

yeah and and so i started i started going to parties and then i started like dressing the part with the big pants and it was just that just the 90s that was like the late 90s dude I was fucking like I'm gristled now yeah I was adorable dude I had the fucking Clooney cut with fucking frosted tips and the puka I had

the 311 like ball chain fucking horrible big pants funny and that's and it upsets me. But also it excites me that camera phones weren't around back then. Because I wish I could have some of those photos. Because I was always probably with like super hot girls. And they were always, like I said, dressed perfectly.

With the bare midriff and the short shorts and angel wings. But the problem is I was dressed exactly like them. Dude, I had like the Gwen Stefani, like little Hindi dot. Like a totally unironic white. Just feeling myself, dude. Fucking feeling myself. And that was where I started having like, you know, it was like I would go to a club Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,

and then a house party Saturday. And I would meet girls throughout club Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and then a house party Saturday and I would meet girls throughout the week through that weekend and then Sunday, Monday, Tuesday I would drive all over the D.C. area to like go hang out with them and I would take them

to my parents' basement which is like the fact that any girl let me have sex with them in my parents' unfurnished basement with the washer and dryer That's a cellar, dude You kind of do have a lair

Just a washer and dryer a card table so me and my buddies could play spades like it was just it's it's so so so i was a raver for a few years dressing the part and then i started kind of becoming more adult version of a raver not wearing the clothes knowing the people that throw the parties so i'm like hanging out and then i moved from dc to baltimore this is the story i wanted to get to and then we'll get to the sex party so so is this the floor is yours i can't believe i'm gonna tell this story that's what i'm saying it's a little where's the camera on me right here it's a little graphic just know that i'm not that person anymore okay so we're at we're at a rave in baltimore this club called the paradox which uh i know big supporters of barstool uh jimmy's seafood does they do a they do uh an after party another after

party the they do their big like ravens football uh pre-game party right where i used to take like a shitload of drugs i was there with sickler and it's like the thing's abandoned now and I'm like walking through it like dude I did coke right there fingered a girl over there and so we're at this club and I wanted to do coke but I couldn't find any and I had a friend who sold meth

now I had done I didn't like meth but I had done it like a handful of times because I wasn't that's a funny amount of times to do meth I feel like you're either I had done it like a handful of times because I wasn't – That's a funny amount of times to do meth. I feel like you're either one and done or a meth head. You'd be like, yeah, I've done it like six, seven times. Six, seven times.

That's how many times I did it, dude. I wanted to make – my dad said, dude, you got to try shit out. Make sure you know you like it. Yeah, I'm sure that's what he meant. Don't just give up on the – He meant like baseball and shit, dude. If you're doing crystal meth, meth amphetamines, just try a few different dealer stuff. Find the right bag.

But there, so I didn't want to do meth, but that was all that was there. And there's this blonde chick that's like hanging out with us that's kind of like, she's in the group, but she's not really in the group.

She's not ugly, but she's not attractive. She's just there. And she's very, I'm so sorry Like I was the girl who was just I'm not that guy She was just there. Oh, okay. So but she's like their girl is Most girls are just there. Yeah, Jackie. She's just there

I'm so sorry jackie you're way better than there you're over there that's this is what gets me canceled by the way this is great so i'm so she's always i mean she's very flirty with me but i'm always kind of like all right whatever and i'm and so my buddy gives me his bag of meth. I go to the bathroom. I do like two bumps of it. And then I walk out back into like the nightclub. And then I just black out. And then next thing you know, I wake up. And I'm in my bed. But on like my, you know, what do you call them?

My shins. And I've got my hands down. And I look down. And that girl's head is between my legs. And I'm just skull fucking her. And I'm like, what the? And she's like, ah legs and i'm just skull fucking her and i'm like what the and she's like ah and i never did meth again that was the last time i did that's a good time to start doing that that is a good what is your guess for how much time oh yeah how long are you blacked out it was it was daylight i would say it was i? It was daylight. I would say it's like 8, 9 in the morning.

Because then I remember I was so, like, still awoken. Like, I was just like, oh, my God, the shock from that. And then the meth's still in your system. That I went to the – because I was living in downtown Baltimore, like Canton Square. And then I went back to Towson and I had to finish a paper. And I did great on it. Got an A. Got an A on the paper. And I did great on it. Got an A. Got an A on the paper.

That was just so easy, man. Super thorough. It was like all the details. I had bibliography attached. And that was it. That was the last time I ever did it. That's a good note that you can still get hard on math. Coke dealers should be like, hey, if you can't get hard on this,

we also have to get back to math for the morning. Yeah. I never had a problem not being able to get hard on coke. I mean, like meth, like I said, I only did it six times. Coke I did a lot. Many times. Many times. And that was how you always, I always feel like that's how everybody falls asleep post

a night of doing coke is that you touch yourself until you get hard. And then once you get hard, you just jerk off until you come and then right when you come you're like all right i said that before i've had like just just fucking jerk off at like four in the morning pouring sweat because you gotta you gotta get up and then we're then you're not getting out of this. There's only one way to go to bed. Come on. You got this. You're watching the weirdest porn. You're like, am I into this?

I don't remember this anything. Are you suicidal for the next four days? That's the thing is that I haven't drank in like 15 years. That's not true. That isn't true. I haven't drank in like 15 years that's not true that isn't true i haven't drank regularly in 15 years uh what i used to do and i can't recommend this to everybody but this worked for me uh was right around 2011 i would go and this is i'm doing stand-up i have a feeling what you're about to say is super not recommendable no anybody. No, it's not. It's not.

But this worked for me. I don't know how or why this worked for me. So I wouldn't drink or do Coke. One or the other was hand-in-hand. It was like, if I'm going to drink, I'm going to do Coke. Because I was a little guy and I always drank too much,

so I needed Coke to keep me awake. And I wouldn't do Coke if I didn't drink. So it was like this double-edged sword. And so I stopped doing it as I when I first moved to Los Angeles and then I I think I'm I start stand-up comedy in 2008 and right around 2010 is where people that you started with start getting shit and then you start comparing your career and then you start being upset about what you don't have and then you get something but then it goes away or whatever.

And so it's that, that like the ups and downs of the entertainment industry. Because when we all first started and nobody had anything, it was all in the same boat. It's the best. We're sharing the same sampler at Denny's. Like we all just cared about each other. And so the real frustration started coming at about two years. And I had a buddy from baltimore who had moved to venice california and he was a day trader so he didn't have to do anything he

just partied you know what i mean he would he would he wake up early do his day trading and then he would drink and do blow not every night but a lot but he was a guy that i used to do a lot of drugs with in baltimore and so when he moved to Venice, when I would hit that frustration level in my career, I would call him up and I'd go, I'm coming over and I'm bringing 600 bucks. And I would throw $600 down and I'd be like, buy as much Coke as you can. And for the next two days,

we would do every drug you could possibly get our hands on in those two days. Until I fell asleep. Until I fell asleep, we would just party. And then eventually you would, we'd get to that place where I've drank so much and you can't snort anymore. You can't smoke anymore. And then I finally crash.

And then when I woke up, I would drive back to Hollywood and I would be so hung over that I would be like, I'm never doing this again. And then I would get it all out of the way. And then I wouldn't do it again for about another year, year and a half. That's a good run, though. If you tell me that I'd rather have once every

12 or 18 months a fucking binge than the other times I'm productive, I'd take that over everyday problems. It was supermarket sweep during those two days where I'd be like, all right, we need fucking Molly.

Come on, what aisle is that in? I would love to hear, I want to hear from the other guy who's either like on the phone being like, yo, it's time. It's been about a year. Or he's like, you know, the friend's like, who's that?

And he was like, it's Josh. Like batting down the hatches. He's coming. Like, here we go. He's still, like like i love him to death there's some people that that just can't that guy that can party yeah that can contain their life they can still make money if i drank and that was why i went to venice because i knew that if i partied or drank or did anything in front of other comics like if my career would be over i was such

a bad drunk like i was like fun and then and then you'd hit that blackout level, and then I was just like a hurricane knocking shit over. I don't miss it. Hurricane's a great way to describe it. I do not miss it. That's not true. I miss sports day drinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I miss football. It's early. I do miss that, but you know. There's something in the air when you get to the tailgate early. You can smell it. You can feel it. I'll never list out. I got to say this because my friends, because we you get to the tailgate early. You can smell it. You can feel it. I'll never list that. I got to say this because my friends, because we're talking about the tailgates.

When the Redskins, can't say anymore. When the Washington football team. No, the Commanders. It'll always be the football team to me, dude. Commanders, bullshit. When they played, this is so long ago, 1999, they played the Detroit Lions

in the first round of the playoffs and the night before I went to that rave that place Buzz in DC and I was up all night I might have gotten

an hour of sleep and then they picked me up for the tailgate and I'm drinking I'm having the best time we're smoking weed we get up to the game we get to the seat

I fall asleep during a playoff game I wake up I have peanut shells We're having the best time. We're smoking weed. We get up to the game. We get to the seat. I fall asleep. During a playoff game, I wake up. I have peanut shells, all beers stacked on my head, and just the whole row being like, loser, loser. Still wearing my puka shell with the tips. All right, so tell me about the sex party.

This is now modern day. This is modern day. This is modern day. I've always wanted to go to a sex party. Yeah? Yeah. Have you ever been offered? No, no.

I think I would go as an observer. I think I want to go as an observer, scout it out, feel out the scene, go a second time. I need to do like a little reconnaissance and understand. I can't go in blind and then just like have my dick out and be ready to rock. I need to be like, okay, here's what it is and here's what it's not. And then I think I could go and fuck shit up at a sex party. And that was kind of the – As long as I'm with nobody, like you said, like I wouldn't want to be around peers. I wouldn't want to be around friends.

Maybe bring like a chick that you there, and that's it. Like swinger parties and shit where people are in the neighborhood all. I don't want to have to look you in the eye. I got to see you in the fucking PTA line tomorrow. Yeah. After you were bawling my wife. No, man, that's not happening. Well, you realize there's a world of this here in New York City.

There's huge, huge, I don't even call them, like, subsections. Like, these are legit spaces. Just the same way, like, Barstool, like, rents out a floor. These places rent a fucking, you know, Soho loft. Sure. And I get remorse or whatever, regret that I'm not, like, I used to say that about just the fact that I wasn't a club guy. And I'm like, there are some of the best clubs probably in the world, like right down the block in Manhattan.

Yeah. I said that about the comedy scene. Like, as much as I go to comedy shows, we should go every fucking night. Yeah. Because it's right there. And all we do is drink in the same old, like, Irish pub watching the game a million times over. There's all these things. And even Broadway.

There's a million things you can do in New York that is, like, people travel far and wide to do it. And we have it right here. And we never do it. And then one of those things is being a sexual deviant because there's a fucking whole world that's like we designed it for you we I remember when I learned about the traveling strip club that was like underground but it wasn't underground so it was like every I don't know they there's they pick a spot and you have to like know somebody who tells you where it is it's not like broadcast or whatever but that even became like i'm sure the people who once was underground like me at deloitte was finding out where you know what i mean so i'm

like i want to get to the real the real shit you know oh i went to the real the real deal because i had because i had an og that took me i had like a legend in the sex like you know group fucking world i did the inventor of it there was there was a there's a girl that i met in los angeles that is uh everything she does is in the sex world she has a sex podcast she works with like porn stars she's a burlesque dancer very attractive kind of looks the best way to describe her she kind of looks like gozer from ghostbusters. Remember, like, are you a god? You know what I'm talking about? Come on, fight.

I've never seen any Ghostbusters. Are you fucking kidding me? He's never seen any of them. Well, now it makes sense why you haven't been any sex porn. You haven't seen fucking Ghostbusters? Oh, fuck. Well, this is my type. This is like Bridget Nielsen, like a fucking Viking woman.

You know what I mean? And what's her face just was it? That's Olivia Wilde, right? In the new one, the reboot? That looks like it. I think it's Olivia Wilde. Let me see. Hold on.

I'm looking at the older one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm just saying this is the word. Because that's the new one. That's the, yeah. Yeah, but with blonde hair. Okay. But with like fucking like bleach blonde hair.

Oh, yeah. Like Bridget Nielsen when she was Drago's girlfriend type shit. Yeah, okay. For sure. for sure. For sure. Rocky IV. So we had hooked up every once in a while in L.A., and then she lives out here, and I live out here,

and I don't know. Oh, she did Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll, Big J, and whatever his name, Ralph's show on gas digital and she came in and was like a sex like expert or something and and then jay told me and i go oh shit i forgot she lives out here so i hit her up and she's like yo uh if you want to hang this weekend i'm going to a sex party would you be down for that she's i don't know if it's your bag and i'm just like i don't know like i'll you i'm actually doing what you don't do here in New York, which is enjoying the fruits of New York.

Dude, every month I go see Billy Joel at Madison Square Garden. I take a shitload of mushrooms and I just trip balls with a bunch of your dads and just fucking, I love it. I go to sporting events by myself. I always like, it's just, you never have to worry about missing something that

you want to see with dicking around with other people yep uh so when she offered it i was like yeah i was like yeah fuck it i'll go i'm like what is it like she's like well we have to dress up it's kind of got like a religion theme um you don't have to she because i had a show beforehand she's like you don't have to get dressed up. Just wear like all black or something like that. And so I go do my spot at the cellar. I go back to my place. She picks me up in like an Uber. And she is like, I mean, full.

Is she doing like a sexy nun sort of religion? She's kind of got like. Because religion sex can go one way or can go the other. It's more. You walk in and everyone's dressed as an altar boy. I think I'm out on this scene. That's not my stuff. Because you're the frankincense.

You're like, this is too real. She's literally... Nothing on her said religion at all. It was just a really sexy black leather outfit. It's a Halloween costume

type shit. Yes. Very sexy, big boots up to her thigh high, underwear on. That says actress. He's a Duke fan. We we know we know about you guys so so we get to the thing and it's in this nice loft in soho

and you like walk in and up front there's a couple couches and just people like milling around some of them dressed provocatively some of them dressed like you know in suits but for the most part everybody was very like you know less less clothes like it was it was yeah there was a lot of flesh out there and then you kind of walk a little deeper into the room i mean what did you wear i just had black jeans on black shirt black jeans uh i i did put on kind of like i changed my shirt from like a white from a black t-shirt to more of a Brad Pitt fucking open collar. Okay.

I was like, this is a sex party, right? What do you do? You go through your closet and you're like, alright, can I fucking this? We should go through our closets for next episode and be like, if you had to go to a sex party right now you can't buy anything, what would you wear? And you'd be surprised because i would love to see yeah dude i i mean i was like flannel no it's not the fabric's too coarse

you'd fuck a pussy up that way so so i i put on this like black like linen shirt and uh we so we go to the thing you walk in there's couches people talking then you go a little further there's like a dj area a little dance floor and a bar. And then you go behind, I wouldn't even call it a curtain, but it's like, it's kind of like, it was just a very flowy, I guess, curtain. And you walk through and there's like nine beds. And then there's one main bed. And then there's, then past that, there's another curtain.

And then there's another bed that's more hidden. And then there's like a wall and then there's another bed that's more hidden, and then there's, like, a wall and, like, kind of like something, like, I guess women could, like, straddle, like, you know, like, you ride the bullet saddle range type shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there's something with, like, chains and shit, too. But there's people just— And are those beds in, like, cubicles, like, walls, or no? Oh, no, no.

It's all open. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's—I would say—because it's, like, bed, bed, both right next to each other, smushed together, and then, like, a little space with, like, a nightstand, too, both right next to each other, smushed together, and then like a little space with like a nightstand, too. There's condoms and fucking mints and shit. And then bed, bed. Got it. And then like the main bed, and then bed, bed, bed, bed.

And then you go to the thing, it's like bed here, and then, you know, sex torture area. Do you have to be somebody to fuck on the main bed? Or is it just like two people? Yeah, I was going to say, how do you get called up to the front page? I think at first. I think because this is when I came to find out. They're not like rookies fucking the mean bad. Yeah, dude.

That guy dressed like Brad Pitt. We're not doing that. He's a pounder. Get him off. He's like, come on, man. Slow. Slow it down. So, no, there was.

You know, this is what's funny, too. It's like you look around the room and it's like there's. This is the one thing I said to myself. I was like, everybody here is attractive. Everybody. There was even the guys. I was like, everybody's like handsome. Everybody. There wasn't, there were even the guys. I was like, everybody's like handsome.

Yeah. But the girls, every single girl, and maybe, maybe it was just how I'm interpreting. They're half naked. You see like, you know,

you see their bodies. So immediately, yeah, it bounces up. Cause you see a girl has curves. You're like, Oh my God. And so she goes from what,

if she was on the street, you'd be like, but then you see her half naked. You're like, Oh, so, so everybody's just hanging, if she was on the street, you'd be like, but then you see her half naked and you're like, Oh, so, so everybody's just hanging, talking,

nobody's doing anything. And I'm with, which I come to find out that this is like a legend. Like this girl is like, like people respect her. There are people are like, they're walking around the ballpark with like Ted Williams type shit. I got post it.

I am fucking, I have a, I have a fucking like legend of the sex show world. And so she kind of leads me in and is introducing me to people. Everybody seems cool. And then we go to like a back area and then she starts like kind of getting on me. And I think she's trying to test my limits of what I'm okay with. Yeah.

And so she starts like i'm buckling my pants and then and there's like people like right next to us and now we're in that back room bed in that back so everybody's still milling around no there's some other people kind of starting to hook up but it's on these beds right yeah dude it's not this is like everything's clean i'll be completely honest nothing felt Gross Right Even when Like later When people were fucking Everywhere

And there's cum all over the place It never felt Like what the So So we're laying in the thing And there's people talking Like over in like On the side of the bed

And then she's like Pulls my dick out And then she starts Giving me a blowjob and I'm just like, I guess I'm fucking doing it. I guess. And then this German dude in latex just turns around

and you're scaring me with those fingers. You had two fingers prominently displayed there. This guy comes up to me and he's fucking I didn't realize I was doing that. This guy comes up to me and he's fucking... I didn't even realize I was doing that. That was exactly

what I thought. And then this German dude is like, oh, God. So this German guy comes up. Nobody comes up and he's like so, he's so dainty.

And he like looks at me and goes, looks like you are having so good time. That's straight out of a movie, man. I'm just like, I don't know how to respond. I'm like, yeah,

this is pretty cool. And then he turns around and goes... You know what that is? That's in Super Troopers. The guy who's having... He's the same exact guy when he's trying to suck

everybody's dick. You're going, sorry, sorry. So then he goes... So then I'm like, yeah, it's freaking cool. And he goes, you have a nice penis. Enjoy yourself. And then he turns, so then I'm like, yeah, it's freaking cool. And he goes, you have a nice penis. Enjoy yourself.

And then he turns around and he goes back to his conversation. Now, I can't, I start, I start like in that moment, I get a little shell shock. So I start losing it. I was going to say,

that's. So what do you think I did? I brought some reinforcement. So I go, okay, can we just take a break for a minute? I immediately go to my, to my coat,

pull out fucking, you know, I gotta, this is, this is why I love New York, is I have a prescription for Viagra, just cause, you know,

I'm 42 years old, you just wanna have it. Keep that thing on you. Gotta, yeah dude, it's just, there's nothing worse than, than,

than losing an erection, and it couldn't even just be the girl. It could just be what you ate. It could be just mental, like, it's a complete mental thing. We to move blood and the older we get it gets harder we clog our arteries brother you preach to the choir don't fight it people seriously get a viagra you know proud sponsor it's the weirdest thing that we can't like the only thing you can't really control is your dick the cum and the blood You know what I mean everything else your brain tells the move and do it you do it now your dick man your dick is so

Temperamental it could be it could be anything that just sets me your dicks like a chick your girlfriend You can't control it. It's temperamental has a mind of its own and ordinarily. It's doing like whatever We don't want to love it, and you you know you can't get rid of it So you don't want to get hard you But you love it and you can't get rid of it. When you don't want to get hard, you get hard. When you want to get hard, it's like. It's always the opposite. I'll give you. I'll go halfway al dente.

I'm not going. That's the worst. It's the worst. If I pull out. If I thrust outward too far, it's done. I can only give you like a half a thrust. And I started. I think I started using it.

That's a slippery slope though, right? No. Not when you can just get it sent to you. Well, I guess so, yeah. But I've just heard like you can rely on it and then if you ever need it. But if you have an endless supply of it. I have money. I have money.

Who gives a fuck? That's what I'm successful for. I rely on water. I rely on food. I rely on all these things I can buy. I can buy it. You don't want to You know You develop a dependency On this water thing

You're in trouble But so when If you're going on a date Or whatever the circumstances You take it preemptively Proactively I just bring it In the moment

I bring it I bring it I keep it on me And when I feel like I know it's gonna happen Like I just You know Take it then

Dude I was Because you don't If you take it too early You take it too late Like is it You know what I mean because you don't, if you take it too early, you take it too late. Like, is it, you know, it takes, it takes about 20 minutes for it to work and you know, it's going to work because you start getting horribly congested. Oh, I read that.

You're rock hard, but you're like, you ready to do this? I did not know that. Really? I swear to God, dude. I swear to God. I read a GQ article that was like this dude was like I – the whole article was like my wildest life, the wildest year of my life partying. And he said he got addicted to Viagra and he was like I had nasal spray and Zyrtec and all that shit like at all times. He had that.

Dude, I can't tell you. I'm sure he'll be like, this is great. Yeah. All right. It's just like, it's the most Jewish thing about me. It just like, it just amps it up. Dude, when I was in, I was doing a show in Plano, Texas, and I met this girl at one of those like, you know,

they don't have like hooters. They have like tight ends. You know what I mean? And like it was so funny because she wasn't into me. But then she found out I was a comic doing a show. And she said, oh, can I come to the show? I was like, sure. And then she comes.

And then we're hanging out after the show. And it's going great. We're hitting it off. And then we go back to my place. And she's gorgeous. And something like, I think I was just too high. And so I started noticing it wasn't like, it was kind of going down a little bit.

And we had already been having sex for like 20, 30 minutes. So then I go, the whole foreplay, it's the whole, you know, mess. It's not like I was just like, all right, now we're taking a break. And so we, I remember I get up and I was like, oh man, I'm way too high. Let me just take some of these vitamins.

And she's like, what is that? I'm like, just some vitamin C to bring me out of my Flintstones. It's blue. It's blue, but you know. Don't worry. And then we started hooking up again. But what I did, I just gave her head until my nose got stuffy. And then I was like, all right, let's go.

She's listening I was very You can't give head stuff You gotta stop on I once I once had a Like a cold And I was congested And it was like

Early on With this girl Like had seen her A couple times And I had I had nasal spray Door dashed to my house Really To clear it up And like After we got more comfortable I told her that And she was like And I had nasal spray door dashed to my house.

Really? To clear it up. And after we got more comfortable, I told her that. And she was like, that's the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for me. Because I was like, I'm going to go down on this chick tonight. And I was like, I'm not going to be able to breathe. I was so stomped up. And I just had it delivered to my fucking house.

Go down there. Did you just have to leave it at the door or you had to answer it just like wearing like some sleep pants? Just rock hard tent? Absolutely. I'm sure I added something else in there like, oh, I'm also going to get like some snacks or whatever. But if I could have had it, it would have been like, here you are, sir. Thank you for my one little bottle. But yeah.

All right. So back to the sex club. I want to say this about New York. And this is about the Viagra in New York. There was a – this is why I love – It was like the bagels in New York? Dude, everything's better. Viagra in New York. Everything's better.

Dude. So there's a girl I've been seeing, and we're hooking up, and right as she starts giving me a beach – I'm so sorry this is so dirty today, guys. This is our episode. She's giving me a beach, and then she goes to turn to go into 69 and then she looks back and she goes she goes oh yeah i squirt by the way a lot and i'm just like oh fuck and then 30 seconds later like just waterboarded just hits dude

but the shock awesome the shock took me out of it so much that it killed my erection. And I had run out of my prescription. So I'm like, fuck, man. And I just say to her, she's a cool chick. I was like, dude, I'm so sorry, but I got to go run down to the thing. See, by the way, girls, if you need any more proof that it's not your fault, you know what I mean? Yeah.

It's a hot chick squirting on my face and I lose the erection 42 it's us 42 years old we ate heavy carbs pasta the squirt it's a whole thing

yeah it's like I'm waiting to find it if I book this audition it's just everything is just stacking up but she was super cool about it which I don't think

most women would really be upset if they knew we were juicing but like you kind of like I was just honest and she goes no I don't care most women would really be upset if they knew we were juicing. But like, you kind of like, I was just honest. And she goes, no, I don't care. And I was like, I don't, they probably don't have anything. I'll just buy one of those like cheap dick pills that they got. Yeah, gas station shit. And I go down to my corner.

Heart attack. Which gives you, yeah, dude, those are the worst. They work. Yeah. They work, but they just, they like, they fuck with your head. Like you get a headache. You feel dehydrated. It's just not good for you.

No. I mean, they're always like tiger style or shit like that. Rhino 5,000. Who's want a boner? So I go down to my corner bodega, and I walk in, and I remember I'm wearing my fucking snow boots, some umbros, like a hoodie. Just like, I was like, hey, man, do any of those dick pills work? And the guy goes, nah man, but these do. And he pulls out Viagra

and I was just like, yes! How much did he charge you? $10 a pill. Oh wow, that's not bad. I was going to say, in that moment I'd be like, I got you over a barrel, brother, because I know what's going on. $500. Let's go. Funny thing too, I told a bunch of comics that we know and all of them made

orders for me. They were like, I'm going to need 20. I'm going to need 15. I'm just going in there buying. The guy always has them. Is his prescription? Is he selling you Lucy's? They are Lucy's. They are for sure.

I think they— This guy's a drug dealer. That's what he is. But you're helping people. You're helping people. Like, dealer, savior. Drug savior. Savior, dude. There you go. people yeah you're helping people like dealer savior drug savior dude no there i think somebody one of the guys that shops there is like a doctor or something and he just writes them prescriptions so they can sell them but that's why i love new york it's like that wouldn't happen in la it

doesn't happen anywhere around the world but also out of all the bodegas in new york city the one that's right next to my store where I live. In that moment that I needed it and fucking had it. It was like. That's what the tweet should have been. You know that? There's like a tweet that went viral from some girl that was like, what do people outside New York do when you want to go to the store

and get a Gatorade, a bag of chips, and like some bread or whatever? And everyone roasted her being like, that's just like a 7-Eleven or like a Crayola Corsa. And she was making it into some like only in New York thing. But that, that is some only in New York shit where it's like you did get your chips and your ice cream and also some pharmaceutical pills. Yeah, dude, I get a panini and a dick pill at like three in the morning.

That is a special New York thing. Nah, it's one of the many reasons I love it here. And then the, you know, like I said, the women, it's making me sound like that's all I do is fuck. Like, maybe every once in a while, if I'm lucky, they're squirting on my face. That's awesome, by the way. I would be very, I'd be like, because, you know, the problem with a squirter, if you want to call it a problem, is like, it's a mess.

It's a fiasco, you know? And if you're doing it consistently, it's a fiasco, you know? And if you're doing it consistently, it's like, all right, you know, Jennifer's coming over. Like, get out the Dexter room, you know? Also, if she's into 69ing while that happens, it's like, all right, I got to do my breathing. You got to get fucking nose plugs. Like those little Jewish kids at camp. Dude. With fucking goggles and shit.

Keeps going up my nose earplugs and everything oh my god do you want to know how I know I'm old this is how I know I'm old when she squirted

into my face my first thought was oh no my comforter oh god I just got this back from the fluff and fold I swear to god we can take this off

I'm not taking the towels down I remember the first time, the first time I hooked up with a squirter and she, she like told me like, like going upstairs to my bedroom, she's like, just,

you know, I squirt. And I was like, Oh fucking hell yeah. And then like the third time she did it during sex, I was like, okay, that's a nice fucking,

now you're running up the score here. This is ridiculous. Now I know you're just peeing. All right. One thing to just get some on my sheets. Like you're, this is seeping into the mattress. Yes. know you're just peeing, all right? It's the one thing to just get some on my sheets. This is seeping into the mattress at this point. Bro, I mean, people lay down towels.

I've gotten fucking waterproof blankets before. They're probably made for children. Yeah. As a kid who had them as a child, they were made for children. And had them in college. They're also made for drunks. Towels, dude. Just have towels

Have like shitty towels At your dispense That you know The puppy pads now Just know like If I know that She's coming over It's like I

I try to use like One dark towel And then I try to like You know And she knows it Yeah And I mean I don't think she's doing it

To She's not trying to ruin your shit Well maybe she is though Because if I was one I'd probably be like Watch... She's not trying to ruin your shit. Well, maybe she is, though. If I was one, I'd probably be like, watch this. I'd go psych theory with that shit. I've thought that. Dude, I've thought that.

She's put it on the show, right? I think most of that's pain. Yeah. I know it's not, but it kind of is. But I'm like, is there a whole separate container in there? People talk about dessert stomach. Is there a whole fucking... There's a bladder and there's a sex bladder over here. There was a dude. There was a dude that I, he was, he was like a comic for like a month.

But he was like, I remember this from years ago because he, well, you know what I mean? You meet this suddenly there's like a person in the scene. They're doing standup and then they're gone. And I can't tell you how many people, but this dude, good looking guy. And I remember he, we were talking about something after a show and he talked about how he can make any woman squirt. And then he was trying to describing how to do it, but he goes, but here's the thing.

He's like, the first initial gust, he goes, is like the cleanest water you've ever had in your life. But then five seconds after that, it's just pain. So it's like Evian natural Spring, the East River water. Yeah. See, you know how that became a big thing they'd have advertisements for on Pornhub and stuff like that? How to make any girl squirt? That must have been the worst thing that happened to women for like a three-year squirt.

Because guys are just jackhammering them. Like, no, it's going to work. It's going to happen. You've got to put pressure here. It's like, all right. No, I swear to God, this will work. I watched a smoke coming out. I watched a 45-second YouTube video.

Don't worry. Everybody became a chiropractor. Put your leg here. I'm going to apply pressure over here. That's fucking hilarious. That is some funny fucking shit, man. Wait, did we ever finish the sex part? Yeah.

So back to Brigitte Nelson and the sex party. So you're walking around with the Hall of Famer. She had the gold ring and everything. Yep, yep. So then we, I go to get the reinforcement, and then by the time I come back, she's already kind of like, you know, not dressed, but she had kind of zipped her thing up a little bit,

and then we come out to the main room where that bed, remember the main bed I was talking about? That main bed, the dude comes out, like the guy who just runs the thing, and he's just like, thank you, everybody, for coming. He's like, we just raised $24 million, you know, for doing this all over the world. Because you've got to figure, dude, there's like...

Big roller, high roller. Yeah, this is what you do. It's eyes wide shut. So are they raising you for charity or for themselves? No, it's just for them. It's like, pay for the fucking condom and in the space it's just a weird way to describe making money though like we raised it like imagine like every every year mcdonald's was like this year we raised the ronald mcdonald house you are you think there's um a lot of prostitutes in there

or is it all like it was all regular like all regular people i was thinking maybe they also pay you know to make sure there are chicks that will fuck you. Maybe? What do you think? Maybe? I mean, because I. Because here's like, what if, you know, whatever you're like a disgusting looking person, you show up like, and there's got to be somebody that's like, well, my job tonight is to fuck that guy.

So he has a good time and comes back and I get paid for it. Or is it just, there's a lid for every pot. Somebody there will fuck you. I, well, that's the thing is that is it just there's a lid for every pot. Somebody there will fuck you. I was. That's the thing is that there there isn't a lid for every pot. Not everybody's fucking because I didn't like after the fact after after my the OG left. Yeah. Because what I was going to get to is that.

Yeah. So we know. So she so they do this like he explains this thing. The girl or the guy explains the thing. And then these do like a like kind of like a sex, not show, but this artistic dance that was five minutes long. Somebody ate some fire or something. And then they're like, all right, guys, that's it.

Now let's all have fun. And then people started breaking off into their little subsections. By the way, do you have a booger hanging on my nose? Right here. Okay, good, because it feels like it. For the last 20 minutes i've been like all right so so they break off uh and people get in their little sections and people just start like hooking up and then me and the og we start hooking up and there's not

much bed space so we find this one like area there's like people fucking here two guy no two girls and a guy and then like a dude with like three girls and like this is the funny thing too like those dudes are not good looking the dude with three girls i was like this looks like a fucking like an accountant like he doesn't look like he's anything special his body's not in good shape but he's got like three girls that are all like attractive and so we're in between both of them and because i'm with the og and she's super hot they kind of start molding into us so the next thing i know because i'm laying on my back and and brigitte is giving me a blow job this couple over here starts reaching and grabbing

the og's boob and then she starts grabbing this girl's thing and then this girl's grabbing my dick and then it's just like when you said the cuddle puddle then it's all but it's like huh it's like it's like we were it's a word enveloped yeah yeah yeah and and then there's a girl right next to me and i remember and she's so hot and and so she's kind of grabbing my dick and then i go i mean i go to like to grab her boob and then kiss her and then i go to kiss her and then the guy that she's kind of grabbing my dick. And then I go to grab her boob and then kiss her. And then I go to kiss her. And then the guy that she's with is like, yo, yo, yo. He's like, no kissing.

And I'm like, all right. People got rules? He's got her hand on my dick. No kissing? Fingers are in my ass, man. Yeah, dude. And then that just kind of made the situation weird. So me and the other girl, the OG, she was like, hey, let's.

They're about to like gang bang. So let's just get out of that. And then we got out of that puddle. And then she, the OG, she goes, all right, well, it's one thirty. So I'm going to get out of here. She goes, but you should stay. And she's like, listen, just be cool. Don't be creepy.

And just you could just join in with other people. And now at this point, see then, you know, I was like, what are the rules? Cause I was going to kiss somebody thinking that's okay. You know, so I'd be afraid I'm going to get fucking slapped or hit or arrested or some shit, dude.

And that was exactly, cause I was also too high too. So now I'm already like questioning. And then I would just start, I would like talk to a girl and I'd be like, I think, and then she'd be like, Oh,

I'm going to go here with my friends. They're fucking over there. And I'm just like, all right, well just like hey well can I no all right and so and so I kind of so if you talk about missing signals in general when it's like oh that girl wanted me to ask for her number or whatever in an orgy it's probably even like worse where it's like I could have like fucked her and her friend instead I was like alright I'm gonna get a coffee or whatever dude take a swollen fire over there I'll be right back so here's what I did for the majority maybe about 45 minutes I kind of

just like sat in this chair drinking like club soda with like my shirt like unbuttoned like I was Lestat from Interview with a Vampire just like looking over this whole thing what if you started pounding off? yeah were there guys just jerking off? from Interview with a Vampire, just like looking over this whole thing. What if you started pounding off?

Yeah, were there guys just jerking off? There was. I didn't do that. I'd probably be that guy. But there was just, there was like... He was just being one of those masks with the big nose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I went to a sex party.

Wait, is that Kevin? That's not Kevin. It wouldn't be here. He's at the Irish bar most of the time. So there was, at one point, there was that big group of gangbang that we were a part of when we walked away. There was just this random, I would just call him an OG,

old school black dude, kind of like in Sean John. And he was just standing over top of these people just fucking jerking off, looking at them, and nobody cared. So you can just do that. I mean, you can't be fucking aiming the thing at me.

Like if you want to, I just don't know how fast you turn. Like if you want to jerk off in the corner, fine, but you can't be fucking like, like, like in the military, you got to have fucking muzzle control. Yes. Like yeah. Here's the funniest thing about all of this. You talked about

getting recognized. So I'm sitting there like Lestat having my club soda and this dude that me and the OG had not been making fun of, he just looked out of place.

He was wearing a really nice suit, kind of looked like a businessman. And he walks up to me, he goes, were you at the comedy cellar a couple nights ago?

And I'm like, yeah. And he goes, you're really funny, dude. And I'm just that's he that also awareness like yeah like even if i recognize the guy like not here dude we're in a sex party that's what i kind of always started to worry about like like i was really ever gonna do any of this shit anyway but once once barstool got big enough i was like i can't i can't have any of these fucking nights where people are going to be like, one minute, man. What's up, dude?

Now my boner's gone, dude. Come on. Think about how great that one minute man would be after the sex party. Can you believe that there are sex parties all around the country? Well done. Well done. Oh, my God. Yo, while we're just talking about completely ridiculous sex things,

I don't know how I stumbled upon this. I don't know if it was sent to me. Have you ever heard of the Baldo? Bro, I thought I had seen relatively everything when it comes to sex toys and whatnot. This thing is preposterous. The world's first Baldo. A new sex era has arrived. We've created the world's first sex toy that could allow you

to penetrate your partner with your balls. Oh, I think I did see this. Yeah. You strap your balls into this, uh, how it works. So they say, save your balls first. You strap that thing around your balls,

and then it has, like like a point to it. But what I don't understand, so yeah, you put your balls in. There's a picture of it down here. Yeah, okay. So imagine you got that torpedo thing on your balls, right? But now what? Now do you like squat up and down?

Yeah, definitely. I don't understand what the pleasure we would get from. Well, they say that... Where is it? It says somewhere that the balls have... It's something like 6,000 nerve endings, and it's the same. Dude, this nerve ending nonsense is just stuff they make up. It's just perverts make up.

Yeah, wait, wait. Here's the thing. You have balls, man. Nerves on your balls, man. It says men can have... You have 400,000 nerves up your ass. Just shut up and say a finger up your ass like just shut up and say like a finger up your ass i was gonna say that's what they're yeah they say men can have an orgasm from stimulation

did you know men can have an orgasm from stimulation to their balls a ballgasm the outside of male balls has almost the same amount of nerve endings as the woman's vulva now also like the vulva is a hot spot but it's not like the clan you know what i mean it's like okay so there's some pleasure if you're doing else, like jerking off my actual dick while you touch my balls. I don't understand. How many times have you given the orgasm from just the vulva? That's pretty fucking hard, too.

You know what I mean? The balls have been long overlooked as a stimulable sex organ. The ball don't change that forever. At first, my deviant ass was thinking like it's for like double penetration but i think it's like no it's just supposed to be you put your balls in at the same time because i was thinking if you were you know getting off on like your dick like normal and then your balls also were getting something good just like extra but i don't think if i was just dipping my balls in and out i don't think i'm coming i mean i i could have a fun do i would have a fun doing it. I would have a blast. I think I'd be there for like 100 hours.

And I also don't understand the thrusting because your balls kind of go down. They're droopy. So I feel like you have to like squat. Yeah, you got to squat. It's going to have to be a pile driver situation. You're going to fuck up a C4, C5 vertebrae at some point in it. Did you see that? You know Adriana Cechik, of course, right?

The poor stuff. She went to the doctor and has fractured vertebrae at some point in it. Did you see that? You know Adriana Cechik, of course, right? She went to the doctor and has fractured vertebrae up here and she said in her tweet, I know 100% that this is pile driver related. Because of doing the pile driver too much. And people were tweeting, thank you, Adriana.

She sacrificed her body for it. And also, I'm not stopping. She's like a linebacker on the Lions in 1997. It was like, I know I have CTE,

but this is what I was born to do. I'll put a shotgun in my chest in five years, but until then, I'll fuck it. One day, it's going to really

fuck her up and they're going to have to wheel her out and right at the end of it, she's going to put her thumb up like that. Don't worry. I'll be back. I'll be back. Legend!

Fucking legend! I don't see any purpose for the ball thing. No, but I'll tell you what. Baldo.com. You want one? We'll get two. Send over three Baldos and we'll try it out because i'm down to try absolutely anything i am just super skeptical that it it

gets you to come i don't think it does you dude that's the whole thing it's telling you that you're gonna have a ball so so we can have an orgasm via the prostate yeah yeah no doubt there's like but that's that's like But that's like a weird thing about putting pressure on something. Your balls don't have it. I've never had anything that's been like... If a girl starts messing with my balls... Don't get me wrong, it feels good.

It does feel good, but sometimes they manhandle them. You ever lose one of your balls where it goes up inside your body? And you've got to stop them and be like, give me a T-neck. Hold on. Pop it back down. Let me just. There it is.

All right. I was the girl who didn't know that was like a thing and thought that was like a problem. You know, like, oh, I can't. You know, I was like, I can't help anybody. Yeah. You get it up in like your pelvis area. It just goes up. I don't know that I've ever gotten a ball in my pelvis area.

You haven't, right? Yeah, dude. You haven't had your scrote manhandled, I guess. That's what I'm learning from this. Well, I mean, hang on. Like, right now, it's up in there. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got to find it and release it.

I didn't know how far up you meant. Yeah, all right. I've had that. It just goes above. It goes above the dick. It's up you meant. Yeah, all right. I've had that. It just goes above. It goes above the dick. It's above the dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've done that just sitting on it before.

That's what I mean. That's common. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you just have one, and you kind of pop the other one out. Is there bald stuff in the gay world? Would this work, you think? Can a gay guy make you cum by ball fucking you? Or getting fucked by balls?

The only time I saw that. Zach's like, not interested. There's a porn where the guy yells booyah. Oh, I know that one. I don't know if he yelled it on purpose, but then it was turned into the acronym B-O-O-Y-A. Balls out of your ass. And it was just this giant black guy with a girl whose asshole was like this big. So he put both of them in

and then he popped them out and he went booyah. Segura, him and his Christina have found some very, very disturbing. Yeah, they're disgusting and there's one where the guy runs. They see from just his ass. The camera's set up from down below

so you don't get to see his face but he runs into the shot and he from just his ass. He's like the camera set up from down below. So you don't get to see his face. But he like runs into the shot and he's just shows. So he shows his ass and he shits his balls out of his. Oh, yeah. I know. But that's graceful. It's like. It's almost like a bowing.

Yeah. It's like a rose petal falling. Beautiful, man. I was going to say like the waiter at a five-star restaurant, like, bring the wine out. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. And it's who we recommend for tonight.

Yeah, here it is. Here's Booyah. Balls out of your ass. Oh, wait. Balls out of your ass. God bless the internet. Yeah. yeah hang on i will find it uh it's on reddit somewhere but balls out of your ass was like a a war cry for this guy yeah it says i can't click it well do you remember nick um who is the porn star nick something and he when he used to nut he used to go drop in loads drop it Nick Manning I think his name is bro that's like a guy a guy shouldn't be able to fucking make that much noise

on a porn set you tell them you should feel like you have a legal decimal level you have to stay under dude there's a there like I don't know if it was a it was a side effect of COVID, but it made me sign up for a bunch of OnlyFans accounts. What is it? It's a book called Drop and Load. Thank you. Told you. I'd read that. I would read that. He was great.

He was on Stern. He was just like a dude that, like, good-looking guy, kind of looks like Ricky Martin, but like a more masculine Ricky Martin, like pulled-back hair. And he was big. Yeah, this is him. Oh. And that does not seem like a guy who would be like,

he seems like he'd be like, I'm a lover who. Yeah. He didn't seem like a drop in loads. He sounds like Richard Grieco. Yes, that's who he looks like. Thank you. He looks like Grieco. I actually only know Grieco from Always Sunny.

Dude, I can't believe I can't find balls out of your ass right now. I'm so upset um but what were you saying about only fans oh so there's uh there's there's like from you know being online you're just like all right well let me this i see i follow this girl like i saw her suicide girls and she's got an only fans all right it's 399 fuck it that's worth i'll pay 399 to jerk off to her i'm gonna jerk off anyway And there's this one chick Who's The only fans

What became a dangerous game During the pandemic though Cause you like Horrible Slippery Ended up being like Am I spending $400 a month On porn

What the fuck But I do I try to keep it As limited as possible There's like There's one That I signed up for It was a girl that I signed up for.

It was a girl that I went on a couple dates with, but we never had sex. And then she had an OnlyFans. That's better, I think. It's the best. If I went out with someone and they said, right now, we can either fuck or you can watch my OnlyFans, I'd be like, I don't know. This is like a 50-50. That to me. You have to fuck. Yeah, but I feel like finding an OnlyFans in the wild is a lot different than, you know what I mean?

Wild OnlyFans could give a shit about it. Sometimes it's a girl that you're super attracted to. You're like, oh, yeah, I'm into this. All right, I'll pay $10. When I went to Tight Ends, our server, gorgeous, had an OnlyFans. Oh, I didn't even think about that. If you work at a Hooters, here are your wings. Thanks a lot, guys.

Here's your bill. Also, here's my app. i have it on my app yeah dude holy just fine dude it's just so so so there but there's this one girl that i who i signed up for because i follow her on instagram she's hot and it's like she's full-on sex like with her boyfriend her boyfriend won't shut the fuck up. He's just so loud. Oh, baby. Oh. Oh, baby. I'm like, good God, man.

I can't wait to marry you. Your mom is so nice to me. Are we getting dinner after this? Just shut up. Just fuck your girlfriend. There's people masturbating. Be quiet, man. I hate him. You know there's a camera in the room right it's not just you two i wish i could shout out i don't want to give them i don't want to give them the money you'll figure it out people suicide girls boyfriends loud you know i'm talking about

i don't want to help her we got a guy guy here, Glennie Balls, who is like, he has dubbed himself a, like an OnlyFans analyst, if you will. I think he has like a running blog of like top five

or top ten OnlyFans accounts. Heavier guy? Yeah, yeah, big boy. He does the Sunday conversation videos with Caleb. He's the guy eating ice cream in the middle. Yes.

That's great. And the girl, the two girls I think he's had on, Jeannie Exum, who I found, she was the one that stabbed her boyfriend. Yes. Amazing.

But I had found her on like TikTok and then I found like her OnlyFans. I've never paid for it. I signed up for the free thing. It sucks. I'm sorry. It sucks. Yeah, like there should be a standard on OnlyFans of, you know, we've signed up for people in the past. It's like they're just like Instagram almost.

You know what I mean? Yes. They had blurred spots as their like teaser. And then when they unblurred them when you paid, it was a bikini. I was like, well, wait a minute. Yes. There should be like an OnlyFans CEO that like bounces you. Yeah.

You know, like it's also it's also us guys, dude. Like we're so like like we see a girl that we're like, well, I'll just spend all of my money on. I'll never meet her. But it's like, I just want to see her. Her and that whole group of girls, because I met a bunch of those content creators when when we did this JFL escape. So Just for Laughs had like a thing with like me, Santino, Bobby Lee, Jim Jefferies. And we were in Mexico and there were like a bunch of like OnlyFans creators

that went to it and so we had met a few of them not any of those girls but they kind of when I met them that introduced me to all of their friends

which are all like those girls that your buddies had on the podcast but if there was one that I could shout out my ex

my ex-girlfriend who I lived with for three years, one of the sweetest girls I ever dated. Her name was Tessa Fowler. One of the girls, Jeannie Exum, he's had the other girl on his podcast, a girl, Maddie, who's got these long titties. They're big, but they're long. Tessa has award-winning boobs.

She was in Playboy It's my ex-girlfriend You're shouting at your Ex-girlfriend's OnlyFans right now Because she's the best She's the fucking best I thought you were gonna be like My ex-girlfriend's roommate

No it's your ex-girlfriend That's awesome But she's making like She's already making like 40,000 a month Absolutely She's killing it And I get hit up by guys

That are obsessed with her Because she doesn't post a lot On social media So it's always like some weird Indian guy that's like, where is Tessa been? Please help me find Tessa. Have you talked to her? Is she okay?

I'm like, I don't fucking know. I think she's in LA. But she's killing it. And she actually, and she doesn't, she spends money. Like what I loved about her. And like, we were talking about how it's just Instagram.

She doesn't show, she might show like, like, like with panties off, but she doesn't show like her actual like vagina. Um, but she went out and when we, when we dated,

she was like, if she got like something in her head, like a hobby, she would just go for it. That could be like makeup. I remember one night I woke up, I woke up one morning, she was like, if she got something in her head, like a hobby, she would just go for it. It could be like makeup. I remember one night I woke up. I woke up one morning, and she just had gotten where he makes it look like a bone is ripping out. But it was realistic.

I was like, how did you do that? She's like, oh, I just learned it online, and I bought all this stuff. She got into balloon animals for a minute. And dude, she made me like a Homer Simpson balloon. And then a guitar like and then a guitar and then and then a washington football team helmet like she was so good at it dude what a keeper go back i get it man we're just i love her to death and we actually just went out when i was in la uh a few weeks ago we went out to eat and i love her i we're just not

dude that's just a funny thought though is like if you combine all those things like you walk in one day and she's got like a zombie makeup on with a balloon hat on and the camera's ready to fuck on only fans yeah honey at home like let's have some fun dude this is since we're talking about sex anyway we loved the movie mad max fury road and i woke up one morning and she put on had makeup on her face like she was a Morton Joe. So the guy with the thing and her hair is in the thing. And then she gave me a blowjob. Like a Morton Joe.

We put the soundtrack on Spotify for Mad Max. That's amazing. I think it went viral within, I don't know, could be years ago. But somebody said not enough girls have hobbies and that's why there's always problems with like guys like want to do shit and i feel like this this girl's got hobbies coming out of her fucking ass maybe that's what happens with girls do have hobbies i can do balloons i can do makeup i can do only fans i can do it all but she what i was saying about their only fans is that when the way she gets

obsessed about shit is when she started no because she used to have a website. And this is why I'm like a big believer in the way the industry in both comedy and now porn has changed because we don't need that middleman anymore.

Just like you guys can create something and we can start a Patreon and we can go direct to the consumer. Just like what she used to do when we were dating. She had a website

and she made $4,000 a month off off that website but she did all the work she took all the photos she edited the photos and then sent them to a guy and that guy had the hosting site and then he would take half the money oh so she's cut that guy out now right but she's also because she's like well if these people are going to spend ten dollars a month i'm going to give them quality content she went out and spot and bought the best cameras, the best editing equipment, lighting kits. And so she was showing me all the stuff that she has and how she does it. She doesn't use anybody to help her. In every photo that she takes, she's kind of got a hand hidden so she can hit the clickers to take the picture.

It's genius. But the quality is great. And so most of these people are just like, ah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, to be honest, that will work. But also I feel like a lot of times the guys who pay for porn, that Indian guy you talk about, probably would be like, I appreciate the HD 1080p.

So I will pay that much more or that girl or whatever for sure I mean it's it's I remember when OnlyFans first started popping a lot of guys here were like I mean who would like pay for porn like a lot of fucking people yeah a lot of people and whether whether it's like uh just to you know like give it a whirl whether you're a fucking full-blown pervert whether you're just like I knew that girl in high school whatever the situation is is, it's like, yeah, there's a lot of free porn. There's also a lot of porn that's behind a paywall that I want to see. It's like there's a lot of people who... Imagine just being like,

who would give money for sexual pleasure? Tons of fucking people, dude, and a lot of it. I live right next door. I live in Gramercy. Nice street, but there's a Thai massage parlor Right next door

I would go every day I went once Just to meet the neighbors And it was exactly what I thought it was But I only went with just like The regular rub and tug I didn't advance further So it's a whorehouse

For sure That I don't want to do Exactly advance further. So it's a whorehouse. For sure. Oh, yeah. You can fuck. For sure. That I don't want to do. Exactly. It's like, dude, if you have that, you always have those moments where you're like,

God, I just need to, but this isn't, all right, I'm helping her out, she's helping me out. It's a business exchange. And sometimes you get a good massage out of it.

Dude, that's the biggest problem. But I feel like I would want to go in there sometimes and be like, can you not jerk me off today? I just got, like, a knot here, and you guys give the best rubs. So, like, can you just work on that for me? If you could find that place that actually has the massage therapist,

because most of them are just like, they'll give you, like, I'm just like, no, right here. And then it's like, just push, just push. All right, just jerk me off. Let's just get this over with. Or when they walk on your back, it just like, no, right here. And then it's like, just push, just push. All right, just jerk me off. Let's just get this over with. Or when they walk on your back, it's like, I don't need you to fucking do jumping jacks on me. Just fucking rub me good.

But most of them, there was another comic, Sandy Danto, that said that had like a joke about trying to find the perfect balance between hand job and massage. And I forget if he ever had found that in LA. I don't know if it's- It's like the Holy Grail. I don't know if it's... It's like the Holy Grail. I don't know if it's possible.

I don't know. But the one thing is though, it's like their hand jobs are so good. It's like when you take that toothpaste and you're just rolling it up to get that last little bit out. They're just like... You're like, I don't even...

With my own hand, I can't do that. How did they do that? Is it the lotion? Is it the oil? What are you doing? That's why when people say, like, handjobs are underrated because it's like, bad handjobs are bad. Just like bad anything is bad. But if you do a handjob right, it's fucking magical.

I'm a huge handjob. You got two hands. You got ten fingers. You got lotions and creams and shit. Can get different angles. I mean, I would give a great handjob. You would give a huge handjob. You got ten fingers. You got lotions and creams and shit. You can get different angles. I mean, I would give a great handjob. You would give a great handjob?

I would give a great handjob. I'd probably give a great head too. You know what? You know, it's like my gay guys are great. Why wouldn't you? I wouldn't give a great head. Why wouldn't you?

If you're going to do it, you fucking do it. You're too, not jealous, you're too selfish. You're not a jackass lover. I'm the opposite. Apparently not.

No, I have a bad gag reflex. Oh, that's true. But you know how that, that can play in your favor. You can smack it across your face. You can pop it. When they do that, when they smack the tip, that's just not necessary.

It's like that's not doing anything for anybody except degrading you. This is my favorite podcast I've ever done. I mean this sincerely, dude. Sometimes people say, like, you know, my friend has never heard the show. Like, what's the one episode they should listen to to start off? I'm going to start saying this one. Mark this down.

It's so much fun, dude. This is the best one to do. Yo, yeah, you give – you were – when we were sucking those bottles. That's true. We did have a bottle off. Yeah, Bert here. Bert was explaining. Somehow I asked him about, like, him and Segura when they first started out within like 30 seconds we're blowing bottles because he said on like the first or second episode of Two Bears that I was

like did you click with Bert right away and he was like we did this thing where we were talking about would we be good or bad at head and I think Tom took out like a Poland spring bottle and they both had their own bottles, and you squeeze, I would squeeze your bottle, you would squeeze my bottle as like the cum. And the point was that Tom and Bert, they both just did it, no problems, no questions asked, and that's how they knew they would click.

The three of us are doing a three-way. And my guy, you know, me and Bert are kind of like joking around. Fights was like... I was... Fuck, if I'm going to play I was I'm gonna play. I'm gonna play. Yeah, he went in. Yeah, that's why I think you're selling yourself short. I think you'd be a great head. Yeah, maybe I could. You know, sometimes the gag reflex plays. Sometimes you can give too good of head.

Like when Heather Brooks doing it, I'm like that's Yeah, I know what you mean. It's like I need a little bit of resistance. When do we find out he gives the greatest head in the world and you're just holding that back and no one will ever be able to experience that. Gift wasted, man. All right, let's head on next door.

We'll do Answer the Internet and keep the deviants here rolling. What do you tell people where to get tickets and where to get everything from? At Josh Adam Myers on all social media. Oh, wait, no, wait. Before we do that, I want to talk about skanks. Because the appearance we did to skanks together. Can I hit my vape under the table?

Oh, yeah, go on. Have you been waiting the whole time? Bro, you are crazy. I looked at him. No, I misinterpreted what you meant, Ben. What the fuck do you think I meant?

It's like, I'm going to shoot this. I thought it was a lighter at first. It did look like a lighter. I thought it was a lighter. I thought you were asking if I had a lighter, and I was like, no. But then I saw that, and then I was confused.

I didn't want to be like, hit your vape. That's why I was giving you the thing. I was like, do you think I was trying to fuck you? I was just like... It is pink. It is pink, and I'm like... No, man, you can do literally whatever you want here. Fuck you on.

Like, absolutely anything. It's been so long since I just vaped, I got a head rush. Fuck, that's great. We all on. Like absolutely anything. It's been so long since I just vaped I got a head rush. Fuck that's great. We all were on Skanks together what a couple months ago? Yeah. And this is before I knew that you had like a music background too.

So when you belted out your Bob Saget song it was right after Bob Saget died we were clowning Nicky Glazer's song you guys wrote your own and it was the

Linkin Park version. Yeah. I mean that was that was the voice Linkin Park version I mean, that was That was the voice of an angel That was legitimate fire I went like That was If you don't know that someone can sing

And the comics are doing a bit And then all of a sudden In the game I was like, whoa So were you like in a band and all that shit? Yeah, I was Everything in my life has been between comedy and music. So like when I was six,

I realized I wanted to do standup, but I was already like, you were six. So my dad, shit, my dad, uh, was a big comedy fan and he was watching comic relief.

And, uh, there was the Carlin, my stuff is stuff. Your stuff is shit bit. And I remember my dad just crying, laughing and me being like, like,

what is this? And he's like, this is standup comedy. And I was like, Oh, I want to do that. Cause I was like, I crying, laughing, and me being like, what is this? He's like, it's stand-up comedy. I was like, oh, I want to do that. I was diagnosed ADHD, but I was just unmedicated, so I'm wild. I was just the funny kid. I was also

smaller, so it's like your defense mechanism. Music was something that was very easy for me. Singing, playing guitar, drums, bass, whatever it is. If I sit down with the instrument, I'll figure it out within an hour. I'll be able to do something with it.

And so I was always funny, but I was always leaning towards music. So in high school, I was in bands. And then I went to college. Well, then I was a raver, and then I went to college. And then I dropped out of college and was in bands and then I went to college. Well, then I, you know, it was the raver. And then I went to college and then I dropped out of college and was in a band for a good two years. And we were actually, we probably had a shot,

but it just never, not everybody was on board. And that's the whole thing with music is that every, if you're in a five, if four guys are in that group, five or four guys are in that group, you need to all be like i'm willing to give up everything for this now i'm like that i don't have a backup plan for any of

my shit yeah but it's like you know one guy was getting married one guy wanted to have a kid and so it never it never we never followed through we made like an album uh you know not even like mass production but i think there's a copy out there somewhere LED ELED and then we broke up I went back to college and then I moved to LA to do stand-up and then maybe like two months into stand-up there was a uh a speakeasy in Los Angeles it was a theater but it turned into a speakeasy past this comedy show they would do plays during the week, Fridays and Saturdays. But on Sunday nights, they would do a comedy show run by Sarah Tiana and Laura Valdivia. And after the show, the guy that owned the theater would bring out instruments for everybody to jam around with. And comics like Chris Porter, me, J. Chris Newberg, my buddy Angelo Bowers, and Gerard Carmichael.

We would just sing and we would play music. And that was how I met Burr. And that's how I met Gaffigan. That's how I met Marin, a lot of the guys that do the goddamn comedy jam now. But what I noticed, because those girls dropped that show and there was this house band at that theater named Elemental P, who I still work with, they became like the backing band when I took over hosting the show.

So instead of using a light, the band would walk back on stage and they would, the comic would see and they go, all right, so I got a minute left. They'd finish their set. And some of them would start singing with the band. They'd be like,

just play something. And I noticed how, how like the audience responded to that. And when they saw a comic sing. And so I kept in touch with that band and I started working with them. And then, you know, fucking 2014, when I had had like some success,

but it never clicked over to like, you know, be able to quit my job or anything. I was like, I created the goddamn comedy jam, which is where comics do stand up. Then they tell a story of a song and then they sing that cover song with a live band. Very cool. And then that just,

that just blew up. Yeah. That was like immediately. Well, the first show was like me, Burr, Sickler, Jay Larson,

and Matt Bronger. And then the next show, it was crazy. It was like, you have one of those things where it's like, I remember I was like, as we, as I was doing the show,

I was like, I was like, man, I was like, will anybody even come to this? And they like dude burr's on it i go yeah but are they even gonna like it and the show went so well and there was so much heat and people just talking about it by that second show so the first show was in july by august all of the industry in hollywood was there netflix comedy central and it, and it was just off to the races.

And so then it was me just kind of leaning into comedy and music. And now what's even better is, because it's crazy, the jam won't die. Just when I keep thinking, I'm like, all right, like right before the pandemic,

I was like, all right, we had a TV show. It sucked. We toured, we've done every major festival. We've played all these huge theaters, sold out Gramercy three times. I was like, I feel like it's just coming to an end. And then the pandemic hit.

And now that it's over, people want it so bad. And really, the Legion of Skanks at Skank Fest, we have put on epic shows. I mean, there's video. That's the perfect example of when music and comedy mash because I don't know why, but seeing those guys sing and knowing they're funny and the blend of the two was perfect for me. Well, that was what was cool about the Bob Saget thing was Big Jay's one of my best friends. We talk every day. I'm always hanging out with him and Christine and he had hit me

up. Dude, what was funny too is that night I had like a date and I was like, dude, I got a date. He's like, no, just come. He's like, just do skanks. I'll get you in and out. It'll be great. And I'm like, all right. I text the girl. You know, can we bump till later in the night? Excuse me. I go to Jay's house and we start going through the song.

He loved it, too. He put some work into that. Lyrics were good. Dude, we got stoned, and we listened to the original in the end, and then he was trying to write these different lyrics, and I was like, no, no, no. He was trying to change every lyric. I was like, dude, the song's laid out.

I remind myself to keep that shit. Just hit it with the punchlines. When he dropped Cut It Out, I think it was. That was, I mean, the crowd was like, oh! Dude, it exploded. We wrote it within less than an hour. My whole thing was that my biggest contribution, because there was punches throughout it, but we started thinking about that Korn song.

The one that's like, And I just started doing, And we started dying. We thought that was going to get the bigger reaction. Right. When the other part hit, it dwarfed that. Yeah, right. bigger reaction right when when the other part did hit it dwarfed that yeah right it's you know what was even funny too was your version of nicky's song where it was like i love you that was amazing i i said it then i don't know if you ended up doing it if you guys released that

song on youtube and on spotify i think people would like legit listen to it we recorded i mean we recorded like a clean version of it yeah high quality so that happens the reaction from it just like was insane amongst all the skanks people and just like you had to be there it was like no because the video came out and that was getting shared a lot but it was then i started saying to jay i was like, we should like record a music video for it. Like us on top of like, he lives in like a high rise. Like we'll go to the roof and it'll just be all like, you know. Sure.

Like drone shots. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so we never got to the music video, but we did record the actual studio version of the In The End song. And then I did I Love You Bob Saget over the Nicki track. But dude, it's like that never came out. But dude, I'm fucking like killing it in it. Why not put it out? Dude, it's them.

It's Skanks. It's Bobby Hutch and fucking Harrington and all those guys. Fucking do it if you're watching. Because there is some element to me of like, you either had to be there Or let it live in the moment And don't try to like Turn it into something

It's not But I think that would Get a lot of views It would It would But dude The fucking studio version Of the I love you Bob Saget thing

Cause it's not just me Saying that I've got like six people All doing that Like they're like The Compton choir group And then I'm in the back Like I fucking love you

Bob Saget Oh Bob Give me your love you Bob Saget oh Bob give me your love and Bob Saget just killing it bro I'm telling you put it out man

it'll get there me and him I think we said like 10 total words on that episode it was like we were already like out of our depth

a little bit because you know how skanks are they're just fucking wild and then the music part we were just like we were basically front row like you know how skanks are they just wow and then the music part we were just like we were basically front row like uh yeah uh you know what's it called guests yeah yeah you guys were great what are they calling the crowd audience audience i mean that was like audience

members that just got to sit at the table that wasn't but that was that was like they should have known that that episode was going to be those songs yeah it was like the songs then we watched those like weird the the like the racial yeah the racial videos it's like and that's the and you know and with for years dude every time i had done skanks you know you've got three big personalities with lewis dave and jay and jay's constantly riffing and hitting with punch lines lewis is kind of like the ringleader and d Dave's like the smart one. And I would get on there, and you would have, like, you try to find your... You gotta jump in. But it's tough when you're with, like,

Big J is arguably one of the funniest people alive. Absolutely. That's why I was like, I'm not gonna be the guy trying to, like, derail his story to get my point in. I was like, go ahead, big man. Do your thing. And when I hit with that, I love you, Bob Saget thing, that was like, I was like, I'm not good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't need more. Don't try to do too much. Maybe I'll throw

something in. I don't want to ruin this feeling. Yeah, no, the crowd was singing it. It was definitely great. Thanks, man. All right, so finish up with the plugs because I interrupt you and then we'll do ATI. At Josh Adam Myers on all social media, joshadammyers.com. I'm in a bunch of festivals coming up.

We're at Moon Tower, Netflix Fest. I'm doing a taping there for a special. A bunch of shit. So JoshAdamMeyers.com and at Josh Adam Myers. Great. That was awesome, bro. Thank you. That was so much fun. សូវាប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់� Thank you. Bye.