KFC Radio - KFCradio: Adam Pally & Hi Haters

Episode Date: May 3, 2018

Adam Pally comes through to discuss his new movie, Most Likely To Murder, the Barstool office, the Jewish pope, and the comment section. Afterwards the cast of Hi Haters, Uncle Chaps & Kayce Smith join to answer voicemails about putting Jolly Ranchers in interesting places.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Today's KFC Radio is brought to you by Lisa Mattresses. Mattresses, mattresses, mattresses. That's the mantra. You want a comfortable bed delivered right to your house, made from high-quality materials at an affordable price. Lisa is the best in the game. They've been riding with us since the very beginning, and now they have upped their offer. They're making it even better, $125 off.

So just when you thought Lisa couldn't get down with Barstool, even more, they did just that. They've got over 10,000 five-star reviews. Feidelberg, how many stars in total would that be? 50,000. My man, Pots and Pans. It's 100% American-made, and and gets delivered directly to you in a box. Open it up, unfolds, easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

Go to Lisa.com slash barstool. Get $125 off your Lisa mattresses. We got a full show for you today. Second half, we will have the new stars of High Haters, Chaps and Casey in. We're kicking things off, though, with my my man Adam Pally a funny New York City comedian he's got a new movie out streaming on the internet called Most Likely to Murder it's like the first movie ever made specifically

for your laptop just to stream he was like forget about the big IMAX production, keep the budget small, make it funny and give it to people to stream on their computers. It's very funny, it has very weird actors in it too, too. Yeah. Like, good weird.

Yes. It's a very, it's like almost like, it could seem like a little cult classic sort of thing. Yeah. Like, the people who like it are really going to love it. And Adam is just the trip. The dude is, you'll see him a lot on, like, the late night circuit.

He's always on Fallon and Kimmel and all those shows doing, like, wild shit. Costumes. The last time he was on, he came out in a hamster ball. And he's, like, Adam came out in a hamster ball. And he's like... Adam Pally was a really impressive dude. He was actually talented. We've been running into this recently

as we've gotten more and more guests, and we just realized we're not talented. Yeah, and it sucks. It sucks. I wish I was talented so bad. That guy just came in, sat down, there was no prep or anything, and everything he said was really clever and smart and witty, and was like i'm just gonna make another dick joke like damn this guy is smart and funny and i'm dumb and not you texted me that last night

too where you were well i was watching efron last night so that's a different wish i had talent and and i agree that not having talent is difficult but i think having talent is gonna be exhausting yeah i actually think not having talent is not difficult i think it's easy that not having talent is difficult, but I think having talent is going to be exhausting. Yeah, I actually think not having talent is not difficult. I think it's easy to not have talent. You just don't have it. Yeah, no, but I mean, it's difficult to just accept that. Right. Correct.

It hurts emotionally. Yes, right. But it's taxing and tiresome to be talented because then you have to do it. Yeah, like you ever have that friend who like when you were growing up, he always wanted to go do things. Yes. Like, let's go play outside. No.

Go play in Sonic. Shut the fuck up. Right, right. And, like, I feel like that's what talent is. Especially once you start. Let's go show off my talent. Once you started drinking, like, I was like, no, let's just, like, drink in your basement.

We don't need to go anywhere. Let's just do that. Yeah, when I was watching Greatest Showman, Efron's doing, like, flips over boxes and they're choreographing this and that. And I'm like, that must have taken a long time. I'm just going to go to the podcast room just fucking babble he had to like like like practice doing yeah he had to try out but you know what exercise he didn't work because he's just talented yeah maybe it comes natural like lebron it comes natural to lebron but he still has to work out at it it basically

comes down to working out and i don't like that i'm'm not into breaking a sweat and I don't even do that in New York City. I walk. It's too hot. It's too hot. I walk from my apartment and it's usually like a three song walk is how I usually describe it. I like that. Again, for the guy who doesn't like music and doesn't listen to music, he gauges all of his traveling and musical length.

The guy who doesn't like music but loves musicals. No, this is the problem with the fucking internet. It's so black and white. I can say, look, I don't love music. I don't listen to it all the time. No, that is black and white. But I can say I listen to it occasionally. Joe, dude, you listen to music way more than occasionally.

You love musicals. I listen to about three to four songs a day. Yeah. Every time you possibly can listen to music, you're listening to music. Three to four songs a day. And you love musicals. I love good musicals. Hell yeah.

You like music. Play the Rent song. Let's get into Adam Pally. We'll get into our musicals. I love good musicals. Hell yeah. You like music. Play the Rent song. Let's get into Adam Pally. We'll get into our musicals later. The interview with Adam Pally is brought to you by Liquid IV. Now this I can get behind. Liquid IV. Well, I can halfway get behind this because some people use the Liquid IV to fuel your tough workouts,

to help prevent cramping or fatigue. I guess we both could use that just on a regular day, like everyday basis. Yo, my left foot. I don't know what's going on. It cramps up seven times a day. Yo, get yourself some more liquid IV. I sit in my apartment alone going, ah! Like, my neighbors probably think I'm getting murdered four times a night.

I'm literally laying down on the couch watching hockey. It probably will help your back thing, too. Probably help the back, yeah. This is just an electrolyte drink that's high quality. It's vegan. It doesn't have any synthetic stuff in there. It's all natural. I can get down with it because it's for

the social butterfly, too. It basically helps you with your hangover. It can help you with your workout. I'm taking that phrase to describe myself, too. I'm not a drunk. I'm the social butterfly, too. It basically helps you with your hangover. So it can help you with your workout. I'm taking that phrase to describe myself, too. I'm a social butterfly. Basically, it has five essential vitamins. And on top of all that, they will donate one serving to people in need for every order that you place. So when you drink one bottle of liquid IV, you get the same hydration as drinking two to three bottles of water. So you know the old adage, like, before you go to bed, after you're drinking, you slug a bunch of water?

You don't really want to do that, though, because you don't want to chug water at the end of the night. Just drink one bottle of Liquid IV. You're good to go. So go to liquid-iv.com, enter the promo code KFC, and you'll get 20% off anything you order at Liquid IV's website. That's liquid-iv.com. Promo code KFC at checkout. Right. Honestly, it feels like this is an eagle. It's so bootleg.

It's so busted in here. The holes in the wall are just outrageous. I always describe this as the stuff in the attic that your parents said, if you touch it, you're going to get cancer and die. The insulation, the pink stuff that makes you itchy. It's pink stuff that has over years turned black. It's soot. It's soot-covered insulation.

It feels like we're doing a podcast inside a lit cigarette. That's Barstool. The Barstool difference. And right now, the temperature is nice and cool in here. Sometimes it's like an absolute sweat box. It's a smudger. Yeah, we walk out. Our guests are sweating.

And they're like, that was fun, man. So you'd rather have Joel McHale sweat through a suit than trudge out to Long Island City to a nice glass recording studio. That's up to Joel McHale. Joel McHale wasn't sweating. I was the one sweating. He put us in a fucking blender. This feels like a white person's trap house. It's so crappy in here.

That's so incredibly perfect. That's our whole existence here. That's so incredibly perfect. That's our whole existence here. It is terrible. It's terrible. The voice you hear is Adam Pally. He is clearly live in studio with us. We're going to rename this the White People Draft House. I'm going to put a sign on the wall.

It really does. This looks like an FX showx show called suburban atlanta it's called peach tree city um well my my first question that i wanted to ask you was if you were going to come here and completely big time us and treat us like a bunch of fucking dickheads the way you did that award show oh that, that's not. No, that's very. First of all, now I hear we can curse. Oh, yeah. You can say whatever you want. So I was like very much not doing that.

This place is a shithole. You can let it rip, man. No, no. I, I, I, no. Wait, by the way, are there podcasts that are like no cursing? I don't know. Yes. Are there?

Of course. Everything on MPR, I imagine. Yeah, but I mean, Jesus Christ, let's grow up. I mean, I don't need to curse. Oh, I need to. I have a physical need to. Yeah. Well, it's a crutch.

Oh, yeah, no doubt. It's a fucking crutch. No, no. I feel bad in a way that now I am like, hey, roast me. I didn't intend for that to be the outcome. Oh, that's interesting because it was like a 10-minute barrage on these people. Yes, yes. But I honestly, like I was just goofing around, you know, like I was having fun and being funny, you know.

It was very funny. It was very funny. I mean, if the Shorty Awards, right? It was the Shorty Awards? I don you know. It was very funny. It was very funny. I mean, if the Shorty Awards, right? It was the Shorty Awards? I don't know. Yeah. If they can't, like, take a ribbing and make fun of themselves. I went hard, you know, and there's some, and that's on me.

But also, like, if you can't, I don't know. I feel like it was so clearly in good fun. Yeah, yeah. You know, like, I don't, it wasn't really the worst night of my life. Right. It's not actually hell. It's not actually hell. Like, I was just being funny, you know?

Yeah. I feel like there's. When that guy came up with the GoPro. Oh, with the GoPro. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Like, and the whole night, I think. I really anyway, I didn't want the whole night had that vibe of like everyone was taking it very seriously. And I'm all for that. You know, I think that's great.

But you can't live in a world where like where you can't. Yeah. Not everybody has to take it so seriously. I mean, look at the internet. If you go on an internet comment, you know, like, ask a female comedian what it's like to post a sketch online and look at her comments. Like, there are people in the world that do crazy shit. People are trash. People are trash. People are trash.

And like, so I felt like, I don't know, some of, someone needed to kind of tell everybody like, hey,

relax. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. GoPro, it's a fucking Instagram. Right,

yeah. It's like, my little sister has one. But at the same time, I do feel bad because there's those people's jobs, you know, and like,

I definitely, they take it very seriously. They take it very seriously. And I did, and of course, like, you know, some of the heat jobs, you know, and like, I definitely take it very seriously. They take it very seriously. And I did. And of course, like, you know, uh,

some of the heat that I've been getting, like, I definitely did not mean to like demean their jobs or whatever. But at the same time, like a girl came up on stage and, and flat out accepted her war award and said a month ago, I was in Stanford for engineering, and now I dropped out to play video games.

To the crowd. You know, like, so, someone has to be like, that's dumb. Yeah, why'd you do that? Someone has to be like, don't do that. I can see doing it if you're, like, a professional athlete. Right, right. You know, but, like... They have a good reason,

not a bad reason. I know that there's another, you know, maybe video gamers are the next athletes. Maybe. Yeah, it's coming, but it's still. Are people really, like, it just seemed, the whole thing seemed like, you know, when you're someplace and you're like, what? Yeah, no, everybody's just sucking their own dicks and everybody's taking it too seriously. Yeah, I don't love that term, but yes. So it just, I don't know.

And then I just went up to joke around and I really, I really didn love that term, but yes. So it just, I don't know. And then I just went up to joke around, and I really didn't think for sure that the reaction was going to be what it was. So you will not be getting invited back? Oh, I don't know. You might host the thing. It could go one way or the other. No. That won't happen. That won't happen. But I guess if there is a statement to make about it so that you guys can get some headlines,

is that I think it's funny looking back on it. And I've watched the tape, and I think it's really funny. Oh, absolutely. And it's exactly what I— Would you do it again? Yes. It's exactly what i intended to do is be funny and push the envelope i would say that i do feel bad that some people felt that

it was more insulting than humorous and to those people i would say you know uh move on figure it figure it out yeah lighten up a little bit yeah and and then and then you know, uh, move on, figure it, figure it out. You know, lighten up a little bit. And then, and then, you know, it's like life gets worse than that. Let me tell you. Yeah,

totally. So, and so that's, that's kind of how I feel about it. I know it's like, so people are like, yeah, killed corporate,

you know, and I'm like, all right. Yeah. It's like, I didn't want to do that either. You know, uh,

but, um, you know, I'm sure, uh, it's such a I didn't want to do that either. But, you know, I'm sure it's such a blip in, like, the Internet's machine and churn. I actually think at one point I applied to get a Shorty Award, like, years ago. You applied? You have to apply? Well, that's the thing.

It's like, I wanted to just be like, yeah, like, let's see if we can win an award for the podcast. This was back when we were the only podcast on the network. I wanted to be like, and they, but yeah, they had to, like, apply and go through a process, and I was like, oh, well, now I'm out. I didn't know it was like that. Fill out a form and tell us why and write a synopsis. Oh, actually put in work? No, no. We will not be – I don't even put in the work on the show, so I'm going to put in the work to apply for a fake award.

Yeah, yeah. So imagine that attitude at an award show. Yeah, no, no. Where was it? Honestly, I don't. It felt like some kind of prison. It was... Better or worse than this?

What? Better or worse than this? This is nicer than the green room. The room I was waiting... Wow. The room that I was waiting in before I went

to give out that award is like where they make you take your shoelaces off in jail. I know that room. Me too. That's the reason why I made the reference here.

I've seen it. I caught a body. Speaking of, the new movie is Most Likely to Murder. Out on May 1st. We got a screener. No big deal. We've never seen it. Nice. Very funny movie. Thanks've never seen it. Nice.

Very funny movie. Thanks, man. Very funny topic. So the story is you kind of come back home expecting to be like, you know, the man and you see your... King of... King of Valley Stream. Valley Stream.

Valley Stream, Silver Lake. Valley Stream, Long Island. Valley Stream, Long Island. Silver Lake is outside Boston. That's why I thought of that one. Also a hipster spot in California. Is it? Yeah. How about, Long Island. Silver Lake is outside Boston. That's why I thought of that one. Also a hipster spot in California. Is it? How about that? You don't know what Silver Lake

is and you got the balls to wear a hoodie with that kind of collar? I don't know. I don't make the connection. That's not even a hoodie. It's not. It doesn't even go on. It looks like your shirt is eating your neck. You look like an extra from Assassin's Creed.

Yes, you're very right. And I say extra because they're like, no, no, no, he can't be on screen. I'm like the blurry character in the back, not the one that put all the work and detail on. But they're still like, give him one of those fucked up hoods. You were very impressed with all the hoodies you saw. Well, I expected that. You know come into a to barstool sports you expect to see a bunch of american apparel hoodies i just didn't expect to see all the variations of them very different very different but anyway yeah the movie uh most likely to murder um i i love it that you you saw

a screener because that's kind of like how we made it. We didn't want the movie in a lot of ways. We were like, don't even think about it being in the movie theater because sometimes when you make a movie like that, there's so much pressure to make it feel big and, you know. Cinematic experience. And we were like, that's great. But we have a budget for us that we like

and we're not struggling for anything. So why don't we make it for your computer? Like, let's make a movie that's... That's how most people watch it nowadays anyway, right? It's hard to get someone to appear here. I mean, the only people that go to movie theaters are maniacs. Yeah. Like, you know...

I go to the movies like three times a week but yeah but we're proving a point here but like it just feels like the you go to see the big ones you go to see in infinity war and there's a reason that the the business has squeezed itself the way it has because like you want to specter if you're gonna go out and spend 35 on a ticket and popcorn you want it to be black panther you want to get like rock you know uh so we were like well let's not even worry about competing let's make it for people to get screeners let's make it you know and and so that's kind of what we're trying to do is say like yeah listen funny's funny whether it's an iphone or a imax yeah we're like don't binge watch that like that's our big our big thing for for people may 1st when it comes out is like instead of investing in 10 episodes for a full weekend and being a shut-in, take an hour and a half and watch a movie. Yeah. You know, and it feels less of a commitment.

But it does. Like, that's one of the weird things with just, like, binging. Like, it feels like less of a commitment to watch 10 hours than it does. An hour and a half? Yeah. That's kind of how I've become with movies just in general. Like, I'll watch, like five uh seasons of The Office and I'm like I'll be like but a new movie I don't know this one I have watched and I can confirm you

should but like typically speaking I'm always I always find it like harder to watch a new movie agreed I think that's because there's a there's a a precipice that has been set. I don't think that's the right word, precipice. Precedent. Precedent, thank you. There we go. He's funny, not smart, folks. You can set a precedent by having a precipice. I think a precedent has been set for American cinema in Hollywood that, like, if a movie is made for your computer,

it's because it's, like, Liam Neeson in front of a wall of fire and it just didn't make it to the movie theaters you know like yeah yeah but straight to dvd it's like straight so in your head you're like i don't want to watch a shitty liam neeson movie you know so like but the truth is now especially in the last two three years the the best movies like this the best comedies especially the best like interesting comedy is happening right for your computer. So we were like, well, let's just do that in an hour and a half. That's what's nice, too, by the way, because every movie is like two and a half hours now. It's like, you know, just like funny, goofy movies don't need to be like pushing three hours.

And we really and we really wanted to make – look, the movie – I'm super proud of the story, and I think it's interesting, and it definitely keeps you – it keeps your attention because you want to find out what's happening. But the movies that we really were aiming towards were movies from our youth, like Billy Madison and Ace Ventura. A lot of Ace Ventura. Yeah, and those movies are, that's what I grew up on, you know, and like you can't make them anymore because the studio is like,

no one's going to pay to see that. And we're like, okay, fine. Can we make them for your computer? Yeah. Yeah. Forget the studio.

And they were like, yeah, you could do that. And so that, that is kind of, I think that's cool. I mean, I would watch it,

you know, I got to watch like a whole, if that's what you and your crew does, because I grew up on that too, so I don't need it to be... That's kind of the part of the fun of this kind of style. No one knows really what makes it a success yet. I think we're one of the first Lionsgate movies,

which is a major studio, to be made specifically for streaming. For your computer. Yeah. That means you get to decide what's successful. Yeah. Whatever you hit. I literally said that to someone last night. I said that to someone last night.

I was like, as soon as the first download comes in, leak it to the press. We're ahead. So in the movie, you are chasing after a girl from high school. Turns out that she's great. Kara, right? Yes. Her name is Kara. Rachel Bloom.

Yeah. She's a crazy ex-girlfriend. I'm sure that the listeners of this show don't know what that is, but their girlfriends do. For sure. And so you find out that she is now dating the creepy, weird outcast from high school, Lowell with no pole. Lowell with no pole Shapiro, yeah. Who's played by the great Vincent Kartheiser from Mad Men. He was also very good.

Yeah, he's a great actor. Really good. And so you are convinced that he has murdered in this movie. Yes. And you're trying to convince everybody else. I'm convinced that I've seen him commit a murder, and I am trying to convince the town that he's a creep. Um,

and everyone's like, you're, you just want your girlfriend back. Right. Right. I mean, you look super desperate, super jealous in it.

It's the most desperate thing you can do to get a girl back is say that her new, uh, partner is a murderer. That's my question to you. What's the most in real life, most desperate or jealous thing you've ever done for a girl? Oh, that type of guy. Yeah not no i i was sad like when i got broken up with i would it i would turn introspective wallow and yeah i wasn't the type that would be like i'll

kill him i would be like yeah i get it i would break up with me too He's better No great shakes That's me doing it too Right moved by you Yeah you're right I'm an improv teacher So yeah I've never had like a Confrontation

I've been confronted in college once I Was seeing a girl whose boyfriend, unbeknownst to me, I didn't know she had a boyfriend, was abroad. Oh, boy. And then he came back and he was not happy. That's not on you, though. No way. That's what I told him, you know, when I came to. Don't be mad at me pal

Yeah So I've been like I've been knocked out before Wow Yeah Just a one punch Headbutt That'll do it

The headbutt is so underutilized But You know what the thing is As like a civilian If you're not like a cage fighter You're not ready for a fucking headbutt Well that's what I mean I was getting ready like

he he came at me hard you know and was like put like that first push of a fight you know and I was like okay like I've never been in a fight but alright like let's let's do it and so I started like push back and then I started like walking back

in that like here we go before I could even like move he was like i dropped like i was just like on the ground people were like pulling me up by my shirt and i was like oh my god huge blood everywhere is a terrible i mean you if this guy's go-to move is a headbutt you were over before the fight started you had no shot oh no yeah and everyone was like this dude's like everyone was like, this dude's crazy. People were saying, this dude's crazy when he came back. If he ever was, he was pissed. That's not cool

of that girl, by the way. It's like, next time, at least tell me if your boyfriend is a psychotic cage fighter. Yeah, I don't think it was her fault. I mean, she, you know, I think it was probably the the, when you go abroad, it's like, he when you go abroad it's like he was definitely

hooking up with like 14 other Jewish girls crossing from like Indiana U you know like so

I think that that's a little like I'm sure she was fine like I I think he's he's the crazy person yeah of course that's like toxic masculinity you know

you come back. Oh, we know all about that. We've started. We're pushing the beta movement. We are beta boys through and through. Oh, good. Beta and proud. I was just telling one of the producers before that I doubt your listeners are.

Like the thing that scares me the most about Barstool, about being here, is that, and especially after I say what I'm going to say right now is that in the comment section yeah the comment section is a war zone yeah yeah and it scares me it's it's it must be weird like you guys must feel a little bit like chapelle when he went to africa right like oh yeah i would i would love to just disappear i mean it must be that way like right like your audience doesn't really understand yeah. Yeah, well, it's funny. I think our audience specifically on this podcast gets us. Gets it.

And then there's an audience that's commenters and audience of other podcasts and other things that we do here who fucking hate us. Right. So within it, there's some who really like us and some who absolutely despise us. Right. And we just try to focus on the good and not let the bad affect us. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, they fucking hate the whole idea of the beta but what's funny about this whole thing is like we're like we're the beta boys like we're not trying to be tough and macho and then the people who get mad about that we're like that's what we're talking about yeah you're the idiot you know what i mean i know and there's no talking to anybody no and that's so that's

almost good it's like all right you've identified yourself stay away totally the problem is like i was telling uh i don't know who i said this to but when when i found out i was going here i was like uh when the economy crashes in a couple months and everyone starts to blame the jews uh i got a bone to pick with you but you jews in a second. We'll get to that too. That's okay. Yeah. I hope the bone is not ribs because I can't eat it. Got him. Got him.

I'm kidding. I don't care about that shit. If, when, when, when everyone starts coming for the Jews because of the economy tanks, the, like in Germany, they're like, who are all those people who immediately signed up and worked for the Gestapo and like rounded up all these Jews? Like, what was that? Who are those people? They're just civilians.

In America, it is the Barstool Sports. I was about to say. I will be rounded up. Are you going to call our readers the Gestapo? be rounded up by SIGAP by like 15 blonde dudes in SIGAP at Rutgers are going to be the ones like in 50 years like now it's really funny for

us all to be like that's what it was in 50 years it's going to be like where are your papers bro listen you're not wrong you're not wrong and it is not wrong, and it is weird though because everyone here is Jewish. But it doesn't matter.

Of course it's media, but it doesn't matter. It wouldn't matter if I was Jew or something else. Jew is replaced for different than the frat. Oh yeah, definitely. That's what's so crazy. All those dudes, that is who is going to bum rush my apartment, you know?

And like, I'll be hiding in the floor. So, hey, listeners, like me and my family will be hiding in the floorboards and there will be like, no joke, like a van. I will look up and see the bottom of vans, you know, and they'll be like, any Jews in here? Vaping. Yeah. Vaping. I'll be like, let's go. I really want to hit the beach.

So if there are Jews in here, let's come out, come out wherever you are. Unfortunately, the Gestapo comment section comparison is not inaccurate. It's something we would like to change, but I don't think it will be changing anytime soon. Oh, it'll change when you're dead. And then doing this show in a year will be people like, would you think of the Jets last night? Someone else will be like, I don't know. I don't know. But the Jews, man.

I don't know, man. You know what the problem with the Jets are? Woody Johnson. Woody Johnson's daughter is married to a Jew. We just, hey, let's move the Jets. Well, my problem with the Jews is that I learned recently from that crazy congressman or whatever that you guys control the weather. Oh, the Jews control the weather. Yes.

And the weather is fucking awful. Terrible. Yeah. I don't know why I live here anymore. Like, there's nothing good about what I wanted to say to that congressman when when he when he said that my my people control the weather. And I do say my people because I am the leader of the Jewish people now. After Natalie Portman's dust up. I've said this all along.

Portnoy, he wants to be the Jew Pope. The problem with you guys is that you don't have a Pope. You need a figure. We can't have a Pope. No one would be elected. There would be a 14,000 year debate. I don't know. I like him, but I don't know if he can do it.

And then we'd pick one. We'd be like, you know what? Saul, you're the Jew Pope. And as Saul is walking up, he'd be like, did we make a mistake? But what I wanted to say to the senator that says that the Jews control the weather, it's so crazy. If we controlled the weather, don't you think we would fix the draft, we all feel? I love you, Jokes. I would have closed the window. I would have closed the window.

I would have closed the window. That is an interesting thing, too, though, because the race controlling the weather theory, people have thought that for a long time. Really? Yes. Oh, that was the first I'd heard of it. Oh, yeah. oh that was the first I'd heard of it it goes back to all the anti-semitic brown people wizardry the whole term gypsy

it's all that people see dark skin and they immediately think that someone's going to cast a spell it's like I don't know I've never seen skin like that before you're like he must be a sorcerer he must be a sorcerer. And that, that, that is just basically anything other than white.

Well, we've learned a lot here today. We got a couple, we have people call in, they leave like voicemails for us. It's not live calls, but they're basically callers. So we're going to take a couple. What's going on KFC fights? Producer BC Calling you guys I got an interesting little story here and a question for you

I'm gonna hate this I've seen this girl a couple weeks I took her home the other night We went back to her place Can you stop I don't want to hear this And you know Afterwards getting ready for bed You know just small talk chit chatting

And turn off the lights. All of a sudden, I hear a little kerplunk going on next to the bed on the nightstand. And, you know, I couldn't for the life of me figure out what I heard, what was going on. I don't know where this is going. So I wake up in the morning and don't sleep. I tend to get up and go to the bathroom, turn on the light, look around. I ended up seeing on a nightstand dentures in a glass. Oh, no.

And sure enough, on the sink, there is a tube of denture cream. Oh, no, no, no. So this girl has dentures, and I guess my question to you guys is, should I be turned on by this? What? No. Because, I don't know, the more I think about it, the more I think it's kind of hot. What? And, you know, I don't know.

I'm out on dentures. I'm not going to say that you should be turned on by the toothless woman. This whole thing is a minefield i had i never in a million years thought that dentures were coming i'm gonna take i'm gonna take a an opposite stance on this and i will tell this guy i don't know what he looks like but i'm gonna guess he ain't no Chris Pratt. So I'm going to tell this dude who finally took her home

to count your lucky stars that even a woman with dentures would think that you are worthy to have sex with. And everybody has problems in the world. But this is a problem, problem adam you don't know why yeah that's the question and what if what if she's amazing what if she's amazing and is the love of

this guy's life that's like i hate that crap like that that is another like man thing i can't stand is like this idea that like women can't poop and women can't fart. I never had that problem when I was single. I have it for men, too. That's fine. That's like a germ thing. Fine. I don't have that at all. I guess now, especially with kids, I don't give a shit.

Got there at all, yeah. Yeah, but I always, like, I remember I was seeing this girl in college, and, like, I begged her to fart in front of me. She was, like, so beautiful that I was like, do you, I begged her to fart in front of me. She was like so beautiful that I was like, do you fart? You have to fart for me. Like, because otherwise there's no,

it's like, why are we doing, what kind of charade are we keeping up here? I don't know. I mean, I feel you. I get what exactly you're saying. I do think that some things don't need to be kept separate,

but can are okay being kept separate. Yeah. I don't think you need to shit with the door open for our relationship to be good. No, I'm not asking for that, but like, if you're sick... Sounds like you're begging her to fart. Well, that, yes, I am asking for that. I just think it's hot, but I...

Everybody's got their thing. Yeah, look, everyone's got their shit. Everybody's got stuff. But, no, I just, like, of course, like, I don't want shitting with the door open, but I also, like, if that... Something must have happened for you to shit with the door open, you know, like in the day, you know, it's not going to be game over. Right. And that's how I feel about these dentures.

Like, yeah, you know what? If I had dentures, it'd be the number one thing I'd say out of the gate. I'd be like, look at this. Pop them out. Honestly, I'd be like, before we get started and go any further, I have to let you know, I fell into a radioactive pool. I have no teeth. I have no teeth.

And so these are fake. And I just want to let you know, because a lot of people get freaked out. She probably should have said that. Like the whole, all right, lights out, splash. That's no good. Kerplunk is never a word you want used around. Never. I didn't know what was happening.

Kerplunk. I can think of a couple ways where Carplunk would be good. Like what? Okay. We don't let you get away with shit here. Apparently not. Okay. So I went to this brunch spot with my sister the other day,

and they had the most amazing French toast. But they did. It was like French bread. They like, it was like small pieces, you know. And you know how like a French baguette is like really crispy on the outside. Kind of, so they were like flash frying the baguette. It was delicious. And then right next to it, they brought this amazing syrup, like a bowl of syrup.

So the way you eat it was you just pick up some of the fried French bread and kerplunk, you take a little dip, and you eat it. I mean, you gotcha. I thought you were going to go with the glass of champagne, they come out and put a strawberry in it and kerplunk. That was the second kerplunk. So it's basically brunch. We have missed the fact that kerplunks

need to be bad. Also, I think Green Day's first album was called Kerplunkling there's something like that yeah yeah yeah that's embarrassing yeah we're old um i i mean you know adam's a stand-up guy here i'm i'm gonna be a little more like yeah i think i actually the main thing i don't know you know you're beautiful everything else is good i think we can deal with it i need to know why you don't have teeth though like there's got a that. The story, like, you've got to tell me why. I think that's where we see eye to eye,

is that this should have been talked about A1. We'll do one more, or we've got to wrap it up right away. All right, let's do one more. Let's do one more. What's up, guys? Pretty simple one for you. What do you think is the most fun position in sports to play? I think I'm going

center field, tracking down five balls is awesome. Adam's shaking his head. No way. And then, you know, I'd go quarterback, but you have to figure that it's extremely difficult. Way too hard. That's way too much pressure. Way too hard. So you are a New York guy. You're Mets, Knicks,

Jets. Born loser. Right. I mean, I'm right there with you. Rangers are the only respite. And now that's a mess. way too hard so you are new york guy you're nets uh mets nicks jets born loser right i mean i'm right there with you rangers are the only respite and now that's a mess that's the one thing you kind of had yeah um so uh none none of that is fun no position at any of those teams it's an interesting question though because the idea is like what's the most fun right there's a very big difference between glory and prestige and fun. Right. I'd say you have to take baseball out of it. Because playing baseball, unless you're pitching, is fun for a second.

You know, it's stress. Stop and go, stop and go. It's stop and go, stop and go. Stress inducing. It's like, you know, you're waiting. You're like, is it going to get hit to me? Yeah, ball's coming your way. Ball's coming my way.

Don't fuck up, don't fuck up. It's like, you're waiting for the moment. You got the moment. It're like, is it going to get hit to me? Ball's coming your way. It's like you're waiting for the moment. You got the moment. It's like it's too stressful. Football's too painful. I'm out on football. Even like cornerback. It's like no way. Where you don't even have to tackle. It's not even that physical, but it's like still. Hockey's cold.

It's too cold. It's just like the bottom line, like walking into an ice rink sucks. So I think it would be small forward. Okay. If you could, like the most fun would be starting small forward for like, you know, the Lakers or the Knicks. I would probably go like two guard where it's just, I want to be like a ball hog two guard. Yeah.

Like Kobe Bryant where it's just like, I'm going to shoot 40 times today and everyone knows it and it doesn't matter if i make 10 yeah or if i make 25 so basically i think the most fun in sports would be to be a wing player in the nba all right that's a very solid logic you got you're gonna go hockey right i don't know i i actually i think i think that uh center fielder is a very good answer i'm with that center field yeah center field center field has the most responsibility. Like, you're in center field. You're the captain of the outfield. You're the captain of the outfield.

You're the best athlete on the field. I played center field just in case. Honestly, that is a shock. But, yeah, center field, I guess. Short stop. See, I think short stop would be more fun because it's more action. Like, center field to me was always,

when I played baseball, it was the outfield is stress-inducing because you are waiting and standing and watching from a distance and it's like, when a ball gets hit, there's this immediate, like, thing that happens in your mind where you're like You gotta have a read, you gotta make the right

move right away. It's like nothing, there's no other feeling than being in the outfield and having a ball cracked, and you're like, oh, shit. But to me, tracking down a fly ball was awesome. And every baseball highlight is Ken Griffey Jr. running in the outfield. That's every highlight I've ever seen in my life. Throwing somebody out. You have to be good at it, of course.

But I think to me, that's the thing. There are a lot of— Basketball has camaraderie that baseball doesn't have. Yeah. Like, you know, like... You're standing out there by yourself most of the time. Yeah, you're by yourself. Baseball is almost like golf to me in a lot of ways.

It's like a team golf. Yeah, it's a team individual sport. Yeah, yes, for sure. I mean, you get up... Everything you do in baseball is alone. Right. You know, and that's fun in a way. But I just feel like...

But yeah, like james harden right now there's nothing more fun than james harden was like just give me the ball yeah i'm gonna fucking torch you dance around shoot a three score 50 points cook and run down you know and not play an ounce of defense no you don't worry about it yeah right that's really why they signed chris paul they were like please guard a guard someone's gotta do it all right man we really appreciate you coming through. Thank you so much for having me.

So the movie is out May 1st. You can get it on demand. Stream it on your computer. Like you said, it's most likely to murder. Yeah. The best place to do that, if I would suggest anything,

the cheapest, best way to do it, honestly, is iTunes. Okay. It's like, just go to iTunes. It'll probably be on the front page of every thing that you click. Just turn your Apple TV on and that's the best way to do it.

Awesome. Thank you, man. Thank you. All right, big thanks to Adam Pally for coming through and showing us how untalented we are. That interview was brought to you by Little Bits. It's an award-winning platform of easy-to-use electronic building blocks for creating inventions large and small. I got my podfather buddy Chaps on the show today,

and I said when I had kids, one of my main fears, Chaps, was not being able to put together any toys. And I was like, well, you're just going to have to come. You're just going to play with shit that's like already already put together. Like, here's a ball to put that together. But now I see things like little bits, which is right now they have a complete droid kit where you can build our, what's his name? C3PO. R2D2. Yes, R2D2. If you could build CP3O, that would be a big fucking deal. That's a huge life-size

thing. We'll get there eventually. R2D2, it comes with 6 bits, 20 droid parts, 3 sticker sheets. It has missions and challenges when you sync it up with the app. There's 22 different missions in the app. So your kids will learn how to control electronics with codes in missions. Basically, this is going to teach your kid how to be an astronaut.

I feel like I'm going to put Shay on the fucking moon. My kids are going to the moon. You heard? So go to littlebits.com slash KFC and you'll get $10 off a Droid Inventor Kit. If you've got a birthday or anything coming up for your kids, your nieces, your nephews, whoever, uh, Robbie Fox,

any children in your life, just go to little bits.com. Give mine to Robbie. Slash KFC. They'll get $10 off the droid inventor kit. It was the 2018 toy of the year. So little bits.com slash KFC for $10 off your kit. Hi haters.

Wave to him. Wave to him. We got Casey and chaps. Before we go into it. My daughter, has that toy, and she absolutely loves it. And she's, like, brilliant, right? Well, let's not over-exaggerate. No, this is when you are supposed to over-exaggerate to make yourself feel better. She's getting better with the droid toy.

Yeah. So, Hi Haters is out. Yeah. So High Haters is out Yeah High Haters is a Podcast Radio show Hybrid Extravaganza That is

I like the way you put that Extravaganza It's like It's keeping people on their toes It's like is it a podcast Is it a radio show It's fucking both Yeah it's kind of strange too

Because you guys know Like whenever somebody asks you Explain KFC radio You're just like Oh yeah It's impossible It's Yeah

And I'll tell you what, just so you guys know what's coming, it's going to hinder you greatly. It gets difficult. You're probably not going to make a lot of money off it because nobody knows how to sell it. Thanks for selling this to us in the first week. You're supposed to be telling us how great this is going to be.

The content's going to be great. That's not our job to sell. You guys be funny and they got to take care of the rest. But, yeah, I mean, we do know that deal where it's like – I think that shows like this, though, are the most barstool shows where it's like, what is it? It's like we're just shooting the shit. So what's it going to be about today?

I don't know. What's going on in the world? What's funny right now? What happened? What do I want to talk about in the moment? Because it'll be sports. It'll be chicks. It'll be dating. It it'll be current events it'll be celebrity shit whatever so uh and then you know obviously we got crazy with the calls things got completely off the rails

over the last six years you guys got that coming for you we get a lot of drunk calls chaps was saying that they have the high stoners yeah yeah so you're live from 10 to 12 yeah and that's going to just completely cultivate our culture. Sure. There's a dude from Utah. He's like, yo, Chaz, man, I'm like a big fan, bro. Anyways, what are your thoughts on like Utah? Just the state, like in general, like it's pretty good.

Top 50 for sure. Yeah. I told him to call back and he just wanted to talk about Mormon panties. So that sent chaps on like a whole tirade. Oh my God. I saw those. Like the one piece get ups? Yeah, the magic panties.

And we talked to somebody last night that said that he was magic panties. The guy that called in last night from Utah, who's not a Mormon, said that he was dating a Mormon chick who would put her actual bra and panties on on top of the magic panties. Oh, that's ridiculous. Because she was getting divorced or something? She was getting divorced, cheating on her husband with the magic panties on. I'm like, look, if you're doing that, just take off the magic panties. Divorce is already bad.

What is going on? Divorce. The sex outside the marriage? I feel like that's not okay in Mormonism. I don't know much, but I know caffeine's not okay. No, but isn't it okay? If you're doing Mormon, you can have... Not the females. But not outside the marriage, I feel like that's not okay in Mormonism. I don't know much, but I know caffeine's not okay. No, but isn't it okay? If you're doing Mormon, you can have... Not the females.

But not outside the marriage. Oh, yeah. You can have fucking 50 people in the marriage. But it's got to be in the marriage. Yeah, depending. That seems a little bit... I've been doing a lot of research. I got home last night, and I was a theology major in college.

I should probably know more about this. So I was reading through lots of different sex in the Mormonismism. Like sects S-E-C-T-S. But I just can't imagine a girl walking into Victoria's Secret wearing these Mormon panties and saying okay, I've got to find a sexy bra to put on top of this. So when I go home with a guy, he's going to be super stoked

to see this $75 bra with cloth underneath it. I need this nice 32 double C, but it can't bunch up with my other panties underneath it? I need this nice 32 double C, but it can't bunch up with my other panties underneath it. These are the type of people that call into our show. And for the people who haven't seen, the magic panties look like,

it almost looks like what you fence in. You've never seen fences in the white outfit? It looks like a 1930s dude's bathing suit. Which, that was crazy, by the way, where people in their 30s used to just go swimming in full clothes. The women wear the magic panties, too. The women have it. The guys have the pouch right there. The whole thing is wild. And there's symbols on the nipples

or something? Yeah, nipple sims. Yeah, it's like a real thing. Classic nipple sims. People call it a high hater. You don't have sex through these, right? I think you have to take them off. You have to take them off? Okay. They might have a flap. Yeah, I bet you has a flap. I just didn't understand the point of the bra over it if that's not you naked.

And panties, too. He said she wore panties over it. It's like the religious version of a never-new. Yeah, I was going to say, this is straight around an arrest of parliament, just wearing the cut-off booty shorts. Yeah, so that basically, if anybody needs to get a taste of what hot haters is, that's what it's going to be. Yeah, these people call in.

We had people calling in last night talking about needing love advice, sex advice, but they're all drunk or high. So it's even better because they're actually taking to heart what we're saying. Like, do we really? Should we be telling them to do these things? Because they're going to do it. They're not sober. Oh, the amount of people who have followed through on advice we've given over the years is far too high. It's stunning.

Far too high. People call us like can you imagine needing love advice like i'm gonna call kevin and fight literally the two most unqualified people in the world and then doing it like one thing if it's just like oh let me see what they say and they're like so i went with your advice and like she never called me again like well no fucking kidding at least we have the the aspect of where you can get the guys and girls advice at the same time. Because they'll call and say, hey, I have this sex question. I want it from both. Well, that's okay.

All right. Fair enough. Maybe we have it just a little bit more. Can you give me that? You got like the biology. You got the anatomy of it all. I'm an actual female. You got the mental aspect.

So we'll get into our voicemails here. There's sure to be some some serious type of crossover voicemails today are brought to you by four hymns 66 of men lose their hair by the age 35 happy chaps how old you bro that was ugly that was ugly just saying i'm 35 i mean and the widow's peaks are like widow's valleys at this point get yourself some for hymns baby i know you're also you've been tweeting. I saw you the other day tweet out the fucking sunglasses emoji early in the morning. I'm like, what were you trying to impress?

What are you trying to prove right now, pal? It was a Sunday. I was getting ready to leave, and she's like, you want to? I was like, do I ever? 11 o'clock. This is going to get so many favorites. Take those magic panties off and let's go. Well, if you want to keep your hair and keep your dick up

for those sunglass emoji times, FurHims is the best way to do it. It's one-stop shop for hair loss, skin care, and sexual wellness for men. You know, we don't talk about it. We get embarrassed about it and we try to like

go to a gas station and buy pills from behind the counter to fix these things. And then you get a heart attack like Lamar Odom. Exactly. It's not going to end well. FurHims And then you get a heart attack like Lamar Odom. Exactly. It's not going to end well. Forhims.com, don't end up like Lamar Odom.

There's your new tagline, guys. We're talking about prescription-grade medical solutions to these problems. Well-known generic equivalents to the name brand prescriptions. So thanks to science, baldness can be optional. ED can be optional. Who would opt for ED? Yeah, I don't want to opt in yeah from a girl's perspective nobody would opt in on that i do not ever want to date a guy that says

you know what i'm cool with having ed like see you later go somewhere else do you i i've always said like shove it in there like a fucking thumb it in yeah i've always said like you if a guy if a girl sees your flaccid penis you should just propose like you gotta hide that thing at all costs you have to be super comfortable to see a limp dick yeah

they're just like they're not pretty they're just so small you could even have like a normal like even a good dick and when it's soft it's just not

it's a disaster unless you're like what's the dude who was on in Forgetting Sarah Marshall he's got a hammer he's got a good dick Jason Segel yeah we talked about him yesterday that's why he Unless you're like, what's the dude who was on Forgetting Sarah Marshall? He's got a hammer.

He's got a good dick. Jason Segel. Yeah, Jason Segel. Talked about him yesterday, too. That's why he is fucking, he's like, I'll do full frontal. Of course you will. Of course you will. Nobody does full frontal unless they're super confident with what they have. I feel like he walks on the set.

He's like, hey, director, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll take one for the team. Yeah, we didn't write that in the script. Well, no, but I'm just saying, I'll do it. It'll be really funny. It'll be really funny. I had a friend once. We were out on write that in the script. Well, no, but I'm just saying. I'll do. It'll be really funny. I had a friend once

we were out on a boat like in the summer like late night and his girlfriend was with us and they were on the back of the boat just laughing hysterically

and we'd just gone swimming and they're laughing hysterically and I'm like, what is so funny back there? He's like, she's laughing at how small my dick is right now. And it was just like

her in the corner with him opening his towel. I was like, you are a bold man. Yeah, man man that would set me back a comfortable relationship though i mean if you can't laugh at it then what's the point that's that's why you get married if you like you laugh how small your dick looks in the moment after just getting in the water getting out of the water into like the cold night air being like she's just laughing how tiny it is right now. Well, avoid all these problems. Go to 4hims.com. F-O-R-H-I-M-S dot com slash KFC.

You'll get a $5 trial month today. It's 4hims.com slash KFC. Let's get these voicemails rolling. Hey, KFC, Fights, BC. I've got a situation that I need your help with. It's kind of to settle a debate with me and my boyfriend. So he's a listener, so he'll hear this. A couple recently I was trying to just switch things up like sexually, I guess.

And we were having like a nice night. We're sitting of the fire and I was like I grabbed a Jolly Ranch I went to the bathroom I grabbed a Jolly Ranch and I put it up my vagina and I was about

to sit on his face and I asked him guess what flavor I am oh my god this woman's crazy he was confused asked me like what are you talking about like and then i explained you know what i had done and he was so upset he was so concerned that like something bad was gonna happen like he wouldn't pull me out he was like no no like that's that's weird that's bad like and i I was, like, a little upset. And basically, I'm wondering, do I have a right to be upset or am I really weird?

All right. Thanks, guys. Well, it's a very aggressive move. I don't think it's aggressive at all. I mean, that's a preposterous thing. You know what really makes it aggressive? It's aggressive with a strange person, with a stranger. But, like, I think it's, like, it's a sexy move. I don't know if it's aggressive. It's just sexy. It's a. You know what really makes it aggressive? It's aggressive with a strange person, with a stranger. But I think it's like, it's a sexy move.

I don't know if it's aggressive. It's just sexy. It's a complicated move to get it, pop it in, get on the guy's face, and then say, guess my flavor. It's a process. It's a whole lot going into it. Yeah. But relationships take work, Kevin. Oh, absolutely.

I understand where the fellow's coming from, though. Do you? Well, yeah, because you're concerned. What are you, a big fat pussy? No, but you're concerned about your lady having a yeast infection. I mean, I don't think I'm going to go there. I don't think I'm going to cause a yeast infection. I don't think I'm going to go there.

That was my first concern when I was listening to that is that is not something that I would want anywhere near. Like, how sticky it is. Like, that's just not something I would want. I feel like it's going to turn green or whatever the color is. I mean, but why would you be mad at your girl for trying to spice up your sex life? Yeah, I don't... Concern, I understand. Like, for her health.

But that's concern like a Monday problem concern. Yeah, future person. In the moment, future you. You can roll with that. If they were sober, I understand the concern. Or if he had just jerked off. Because there's so many things that are more okay if you're horny.

Oh, yeah, we've talked about that. When you're boned up, you can do whatever. You can pretty much do whatever, period. It's acceptable if you're this guy, I think. And chaps, I don't know.

It would be like, so this weekend I was in Chicago and my buddy's car got towed and we were about to go out to brunch and all that and our other friend said, are you going to go

get your car? And we both looked at him and laughed. No, we'll go to brunch. We'll deal with that on Monday. That's like future fights problem. We'll deal with the yeast infection after sex. Right now, I'm going to guess green apple. Yeah, yeast infection is not going to happen in the next 30 seconds.

If you are going to shove one in there, it can't be like a sour one. No lemons. You can't do lemon. You got to do like grape or something, something sweet. You don't want to go sour. You don't want a sour puss. A literal sour puss. You don't want to go sour. You don't want a sour puss. A literal sour puss. I wouldn't mind a little like

Whoa, this is just an intense tart. Like a warhead? What if it went warhead? What do you do with a warhead? That's some intention. The Tartist tasting penny of all time. Do you guys ever have the hot warheads when you were kids? Yes. Those are just like dangerous. I feel like that you can't put inside you.

You're set on fire. Let you. No, you should. You're set on fire. Let's be honest, you're putting sticky candy inside of you is probably not a good move in the first place. But spicy ones, I...

To be mad at her for that and to fight about it, plus fire sex is sexy anyway. So you're in front of the fire and I feel like you should just roll with that. Yeah, no, no. I'm not a big fire sex guy

because it's too hot. It does get hot. It's romantic. I've never done it. I'd rather go buy like a huge iceberg than the fire place. I do not believe that. I'm not a big fire sex guy because it's too hot. It does get hot. I've never done it. I'd rather do it by a huge iceberg. I've never had sex by a fireplace. I do not believe that. Ever? I have never had sex by dumb and dumber style.

By a fire? No. I've had sex in a room. I don't think I've ever had sex by a trap house. I've had sex in a room with a fireplace. The fire wasn't lit? It actually might have been. Having sex anywhere that's hot is terrible. Like hot tubs

showers anything that is above the normal temperature of a room It's already gonna get sweaty to begin with. I'm just like I'm miserable

this is not worth it. That is a good point too with the Jolly Rancher being sweaty with the Jolly Rancher is probably not good either. Jolly Rancher's a wild move. I like to be like

even just like guess my flavor that's a lie. I like the lie. That's a lie. The lie is good. And to be honest, even just like guess my flavor. That's a lie. I like the line. That's a lie. The line is good. And to be honest, when he was like, what? I mean, I get that.

That's a very confusing thing to say. But I think, again, you just roll with it. Oh, yeah. Okay. I would assume that it was going to be vagina flavored. That would be my guess. And I still find it sexy. I'm still ready to find out.

I'd get in there and be like. You're copper flavored. I'd get in there and be like. You're copper flavored. I'd be like, whoa, like lime? This is intense here. But I'm down with just like flavor and anything. It would be a wild move if they were strangers. But if you've been dating for somebody, I mean, however long they've been together, the flavor thing would be a fun spin on things.

Absolutely. You appreciate the freshen up. Right. Once I'm in college, I tried to pour just like beer on her vagina. We were just like drunk and I was just like, we're like still drinking. Did you think it was sexy when you did it? Not like, I wasn't like sexy. So you did like the poor person wild thing?

I was like, I wonder what this is going to taste like. There was champagne all over the tits, just like a Miller Lite. It was just like, it was a Bud Light. And it was like, I was just like pouring it and she just kicked me right in the chest. Like spike, spark, kick. Pretty fair. That's a fair donkey kick to you. I was like, nah, I get it. That makes sense.

I'll just say this though. If your girl puts effort into anything, you can't shut it down. I mean, outside of sex, anytime. She goes the extra mile for your birthday, for something, whatever, and you're just like, why'd you do that? That's not gonna end well for you.

For the amount of guys that complain about the opposite, the polar opposite of that, this guy should be proud that his girl's trying to spice up the sex life in a crazy way. A very kinky way. It's an aggressive move, but not necessarily a bad aggressive move. Girl, find you a man who appreciates your Jolly Rancher pussy. I would be nervous that the Jolly Rancher would get lost in there.

But I was thinking maybe you can put like a blow pop inside instead. But then you don't want to confuse if she says, what flavor am I? You see the white thing and you think that maybe that's a tampon. That just took such a gross turn. But a good one. That is a tired dynamic. Wait, I assume she took the Jolly Rancher out, right? No. Because that's. I think he takes the Jolly Rancher out Right

I think he takes the Jolly Rancher out That's a lot of fucking pressure I might be changing my answer You ever use like Benoit balls I like lost the Benoit balls I had to like turn a girl into like a puppet To get a fucking Benoit ball That's a lot of pressure

Those need to have the string on it a ketchup bottle trying to get everything out. Those need to have the string on it. You can't. Those things just disappear. They're gone. It ended up taking so long I was just like,

okay, you stand up. I'm going to watch TV because I'm going to be here for a while. We need some gravity. You get up. They'll fall eventually. You go get her

one of those exercise balls like she's giving birth. Next voicemail. Hey, KFC, Fight Super Producer BC. First time, long time. I have a hypothetical for you. Would you rather be able to drink anytime you want, Monday through Sunday, morning, noon, and night, but the catch is you have to drink alone?

Or would you rather be able to drink once a week with as many people as you want i myself would rather be able to drink whatever i want but i acknowledge that may be a sign of alcoholism slash depression i'm just wondering what you guys think i mean my first inclination was that drinking alone isn't a catch i was gonna say i don't think you know what a catch means yeah because that sounds like you know, I drink at an empty bar alone? Sign me up for that. I'm thinking drinking alone. Do you guys think it's weird to drink wine in bed by yourself?

No. No. Sleek juice. Okay, so when I moved to Boston, I said at night I like to pour wine and go into my bed and watch whatever movie by myself. And people thought that was fucking crazy that I would do that. They're like, that's so sad. Like friends or people like fans?

Co-workers in Boston. Get. Those people are the most comfortable thing I've ever heard. Yeah. that. That's so sad. Friends or people like coworkers in Boston. Yeah. They have ever heard. Yeah. Yeah. Like the super relaxing week. I keep I don't so much anymore. Now I've moved on to Scotchton living room.

But Scott, not Scotch in bed. No. But for a while, I just did a bottle of wine. I don't know. You even did something fancy like you poured into glass. I just had a bottle of wine by my bed. I have a weird fetish for pouring, though. What does that mean?

Like, I don't know. So I will drink. If I open a bottle of wine I have a weird fetish for pouring though. What does that mean? What does that mean? So I will drink a whole if I open a bottle of wine it's going to be gone. Nobody saves bottles of wine. But for some reason I just really like the feeling of pouring something.

I can see that. I don't know what it is. It looks cool coming out. It's a fetish. I get that. I appreciate like a long stemmed fancy glass and the glug

of the cork and the glug of the pour. I can get down with that. It's a little like ASMR type. I like the sounds of drinking. That's when you know you're really getting alcoholism. I like how booze sounds. Like a feeling of pouring a bottle of wine. Drinking wine at night, I think once you're like 26.

26. Yeah. That's like when I started. Like I was drinking like $4 Magnums and then your palate gets a little refined but i think around 26 is when you get into the wine and then it becomes like a staple it's like you need it at night i need it at night yeah sleep juice it's yeah like how am i supposed to sleep sober what am i how do i get in bed and close my eyes like i'm a child say your prayers and just close your eyes until you go to sleep? Their argument was that I should be drinking it in my living room and then moving to bed.

I said, I live by myself. So what, I'm going to just entertain myself on my couch and then move to bed? No, I'm going to go into my bed and I'm going to watch whatever show and drink my wine. If you live alone, your living room could be your bedroom. Your bedroom could be your living room. It could be your dining room. It's just wherever you decide to sleep that night. That's your bedroom.

This is why I'm working at Barst You guys accept me. You understand me. And if you were in the wrong spot and it's comfortable, upgrade your room, dude. That's where you need to be, just laying out and having it, and you can just set it aside and just fall asleep. I actually, the thought of a studio apartment if you're alone to me is just like just one room. It's easy to manage.

It's my living room. Nope, it's my bedroom. It doesn't matter. Mitch Hedberg had a great joke about that. I was looking for a house. They said it has three bedrooms. You don't decide how many bedrooms it has. This bedroom has a refrigerator in it. So true. So are we going all four of us say drinking alone?

Yeah. It's been years since I was like, because I live in Texasxas i don't live around any real friends so if i didn't do that i would never have a drink yeah like i don't want to go out and i don't want to drink with a bunch of people anyways i'd rather have drinks by myself couple buddies is good but like a party i don't want to do that once a week i would miss i would miss our i would miss our like after work. Yeah, but I would just text you.

Yeah. FaceTime each other. And you're never alone with your phone. You never. That's the beauty of having a lot of followers on Twitter. If you're ever bored at a bar, you just be like, I got hundreds of people will talk to me. Obviously that answer would be different in college.

But post 25, 26, you're fine. If you're into the wine phase, you're also out of the partying phase, really. So... I couldn't put together a party if I... I can't find a friend

to go to a movie with me. So, like, if I want... You've never asked me. If I wanted to put together a party, I would... I think all the time, I'm like, last time I was walking home,

I was like, who can I call to see The Avengers with me? Nobody. So I went alone. And then there was only, like, one shitty seat, so I said, fuck it, I'll go another night. But, like, I was thinking most of the day yesterday, who can I call to see the Avengers with me? Nobody. So I went alone, and then there was only one shitty seat, so I said, fuck it, I'll go another night. But I was thinking most of the

day yesterday, who can I ask to go see the Avengers? I don't have anybody. So if I need to put together a crew to go drinking with, I'm fucked. This is example 45,000 of Feidelberg crying for help. Just reaching out. You guys had to pick one and

you have to only pick One category Wine Hard booze Or beer It's wine right That you keep 100%

He's hard booze I'm for sure wine Wine For sure wine Scotch Scotch Bourbon Whiskey

Tequila Anything Hard booze Do you just sip on tequila Yeah It's gross That is savage A good tequila though

That is gross No a good tequila Is about as good as it gets Exactly A good tequila On the rocks hopefully Yeah like yeah On the a good tequila is about as good as it gets. Exactly. On the rocks, hopefully? Yeah, on the rocks. But I like a mezcal on the rocks.

Yeah, if you get a good tequila, it has a little kick of sweetness in it. There's going to be a little oaky smoke at the back. The problem for me is just the aroma of tequila puts me in a place of... But that's bad tequila. It's the same thing. Like drunk in Mexico. That's like saying that you don't like wine because Moscato is too sweet. Well, there's all kinds of other shit. No, no, no.

It's like the aroma takes you back to bad places. Being hungover in Cancun and wanting to just fall off a cliff because of the shitty tequila you drank. That's fair, but good tequila doesn't smell like that either. Good tequila is really good. Really, really good. Hey, KFC. super producer BC so I just have a question for you guys my boyfriend and I have been dating for about like 10 months now and um um well let me just say my head game is not bad but there's always room for improvement. So I've been watching porn now, like, just to brush up on my skills, kind of give him the head like a porn star. So recently, like, I've been trying it out.

He definitely seems to be enjoying it. But he did ask me the other day, like, what's the change all of a sudden? And I just want to know, like, should I tell him it's from porn? Should I just tell him, like, he brings out the best in me? Tell him whatever the fuck you want. If you could just give me an answer, I'd appreciate it. The answer to that question matters 0% to me. Wait.

He shouldn't have even asked. I know. Don't fucking rock the boat, man. He shouldn't have even asked. I know. Don't fucking rock the boat, man. No, it matters. Yeah, it matters. Why? What, you think she's doing it to someone else? Yeah.

I mean, yeah. Like, where'd you learn your new tricks? You're paranoid about that. I think if she tells him that I've been breaking down tape like I'm John Gruden. Yeah, that's totally fine. Like that. Yeah, no, porn is the best answer. 100% a great answer.

Yeah. Anyone who has a problem with their girlfriend watching porn. My own problem. fucking taking notes. He's probably going to do like backflips and shit. Oh, hell yeah. I didn't think of it that way. Let me introduce you to Heather Brooks. If you, if this guy even just hears this voicemail,

just being like, my head game's good, but there's always room for improvement, like check plus. So I've been watching a lot of porn. Check plus. I'm reenacting it. Get in the film room. Tell him everything. I feel like usual head game improvement is something that you shoot for at week two or three.

After that, they're usually just like, whatever. There's no way he's going to be mad at her for watching porn. No. Well, again, unless you're like the guy who won't let the Jolly Rancher in. I guess some guys get sensitive. But to me, 10 months in. If a guy's mad at you for watching porn, that's not the guy for you.

Right. Kick him to the curb. Especially if you're a girl who's like, I want to give porn star head, you need to have a boyfriend who's okay with you watching porn. Or encourages that. If you get. Let me give you a playlist. Let me show you my favorite.

Jenna Hayes. Check her out. Are you familiar with Heather Brooks work that's just unfair you can't set the bar that high that's not fair the uh getting like exceptionally like a huge increase in head after

10 months is incredible but that would put your mind in a pretzel though too if you've been together that long and there's more frequent blowjibbers than in the past you're're like, what the fuck is going on here? And completely different technique. That's a good point. I'll take my chances.

That's like the Warriors adding Steph Curry right now. It's like all of a sudden 10 months in, things just get exceptionally better. This is incredible. It's basically like my golf course that I joined where I joined it expecting to have like my payment auto-debited from my account. It doesn't get auto-debited. I go to the golf course every week. I know I haven't paid, but they keep letting me play. I'm not going to say anything about it.

It's just too good to be true at this point. Absolutely. Do not look a gift horse in the mouth, man. Just let this roll. All right, last voicemail here with the high hairs is brought to you by Quip. Quip is the new electronic toothbrush that packs just the right amount of vibrations into a slimmer design at a fraction of the cost of the bulkier traditional electric brushes. It has guiding pulses, which alerts you when to switch sides.

This sounds like sexual. Yeah. Does it not? I mean. The word vibrate. Vibrate is that's the porn's ruin. That one. Yep.

Bulkier pulses switching sides. I know what you're doing here. Quip. I know what Quip is doing. Make the right amount of brushing effortless. Suctions? I mean, Quip also comes with a mount that suctions right to your mirror and unsticks.

This is the sexiest ad read I've ever had in my life. So it's a subscription-based model like everything else in the world now. It will refresh your, every three months. So it just gets delivered right to you. So, you know, when, I mean, I haven't changed my toothbrush in way too long. That's one of those things. It's like my, I'm probably doing like, I'm probably putting more germs in at this point. You know what I mean?

So it's just five bucks, including free shipping when you sign up for quip. So go to get quip.com slash KFC. It starts at just $25 and you'll get your first refill pack for free with a Quip electric toothbrush. It's getquip, G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash KFC. Last voicemail, what do we got? KFC site,

Super Producer BC. I had a quick question. I went out to dinner last night with my friend and we sat up at the bar at a nicer restaurant in our city and there's five up at the bar at a nicer restaurant in our city and there's five seats at the bar or yeah five seats at the bar two people were sitting on the other end and we sat on the other two and there was one in between and this sketchy ass guy comes up and sits down and immediately tries to hop into our conversation and the other girls conversations no like fluffer

nothing like that would draw him in or like us like bringing him into the conversation or back so it was just awkward and we ignored him and then at one point he leans over to my friend who has her back towards him and he basically like whispers in her ear um if you're not going to finish that let me get get some of that. And we had a charcuterie board, and we turned around, and we literally were just like, that is the weirdest thing anyone has ever said to us. Like, what the fuck? Like, that's so awkward.

We're at, like, a nicer restaurant. Like, it's our food. Clearly, we were done with it. Like, our napkin was over it, and he was like, yo, like, that's my favorite kind of gouda. Like, what up, man? First of all, it was sharp cheddar. Like, it's not that fucking difficult. your charcuterie right bitch in the situation

what would you say to this guy we like would you immediately leave would you call him out would you pretend you didn't hear him what do you do in a situation like that i'd give him the food if it fails me and i'm done i'd be like oh dude. And then I would fire off some tweets about it. Case, I feel like you've probably been in maybe not this exact situation, but creepy guy at the bar trying to intrude on your girlfriend's conversation. Yeah, nobody's ever asked for my charcuterie board. I think if for a guy you might give it away, I would be scared if I gave my food away. Like the fantasies that I'd be fulfilling for this weirdo forever. What if he just wants to eat the food after girls?

Not for me. But I feel like you're also there's a Wikipedia about your feet. There is a Wikipedia about my feet. I feel like you can't be concerned about giving away cheese. Yeah, but I'm not showing people in person my feet knowing fully well that they're going to go jack off to it later.

It might be more weird if you're like, hey, let me see your feet at the bar. Yeah, it'd be strange. The move is you just ignore them until it gets to the point where you just can't anymore. And then you just roast their whole life. Like, turn around and say something like, do you honestly think girls like us were going to talk to somebody like you? At what point did you think? And look, you only do that if somebody is just aggressively annoying like this guy.

They deserve it. Because obviously there are going to be hotter guys than me in the bar i would never assume that i could just sit there and just tap on his shoulder the whole time hey talk to me talk to me talk to me until he roasts me so why would guys not assume the same thing you just roast their whole life if they're annoying this is why it's absolutely terrifying to go up to girls now like i understand he's being super super aggressive but it's like it has to be maybe she's going to roast my whole life you know that there is a such a far line that you would even have to get there and it seems like this guy is that way because he's turning to two different groups of girls and neither person is talking to them you don't just do that if some guy wants to

come up and have a conversation that's always welcomed because you want to talk to people in bars if a guy is asking you to finish the meat on your plate. Yeah. That's the big thing for me too. Roast his life. A charcuterie board is like, that's a one person thing or one group thing. Like it's just like your fingers touching and just touching like that raw

meat, but like it's kind of sweaty meat sometimes. That's not something like a honey drizzle. It's just messy. There's something wrong with that guy. Cause a normal person that wants to get attention, it get attention, when they don't take the hint, they just move on, usually. If you're constantly trying to get attention from somebody, you do deserve to be kind of publicly shamed about it because you're not welcomed there. I wouldn't want to even go sit at a bar if I had to sit between two groups of friends talking and I was sitting at the middle.

Oh, I would not go there. I'd just leave. I'd just go home. I'd probably just stand. I'd just stand, like, elsewhere. Get your own fucking charcuterie and get the fuck out of here, man. But you do. You definitely ignore for long enough until you feel like you just can't do it anymore. It sounds like that's what she

did. I'm just picturing like Casey as like Khaleesi just fucking releasing the dragons. Dracarys smoke this guy and ruin him. It has to be a really, really annoying person for that to happen. So do not ask Casey for any of her extra meat. No, anybody that asks me

for extra food in general, I think I would say no, but Fights is right. Sweaty meats, like, you don't, I don't want that guy thinking about me giving... I mean, I've been married for nine years, and I still ask my wife if I can have a bite of her stuff, and it feels weird. Like, when she's eating steak or something, like, it might have a little taste. Yeah, if it's a stranger, no. And the whispering in the ear, something. If it's a stranger, no.

And the whispering in the ear too. Tell me that doesn't deserve to be roast. I forgot whispering. That's what I'm saying. It depends where you do it. Who you're doing it to and when you do it. To a stranger asking them for their sweaty meats, you don't whisper in somebody's ear. That's fair game. High Haters is on iTunes, the podcast.

That comes out which days? Tuesdays and Thursdays. And it's different from the radio show. Right, and the Haters is on iTunes, the podcast. That comes out which days? Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tuesdays and Thursdays. And it's different from the radio show. Right, and the radio show is 10 to 12 every night on Monday through Thursday, right? Monday through Thursday. On Power 85 on SiriusXM. So you'll get the live radio show, different from the podcast,

but the same shenanigans with Casey and Chaps. Yep. It's weird, and if you're high or drunk, we really want you to call in. Yes. I mean, that's as inviting as it gets. Ask about Utah. I'm going to talk about my thoughts on Montana next time. Are you guys ever going to do it high or drunk?

I think I was pretty drunk on Monday. Not drunk. Tipsy would be a better thing. But yeah, why not? Yeah, she came in looking like her teeth were like she had eaten a snow cone. He was like, did you just eat a blue snow cone? I was like, no, red wine. Get loose for the first show.

The adult version yeah alright we'll go check it out and we'll see you guys next week we're going out with a musical song oh okay

get the rent song Fidelberg wants this rent song I'm not doing that one I know how to appeal to Kevin I know see here's the thing I was watching

Greatest Showman and it's just not a good movie it's an awesome movie no it's not with Zac Efron's in it oh my god he's the best is he who I was watching Greatest Showman, and it's just not a good movie. No, it's not. Zac Efron's in it, so. Oh, my God, he's the best. Is he, who's your number one? Is he your number one? He's too short for you to be your number one.

No, he's not my number one. So I have a weird number one, because it's Justin Bieber. Right. But that's just like purpose. Right. Right, we've had this conversation on the radio before. Adam Levine would be my real number one. Hmm.

Yeah. So like, kind of like, not emo, but more like artsy, tall, skinny, tatted up. Taylor. Oh yeah. Yeah. He's the one.

Efron is just a stud. This is just like a rock and roll song. It's not a musical song. No. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't worry about saying that, like, all musicals are, by the way, regular songs. That's not true. This doesn't sound like a musical. Exactly. Thank you. No. Thank you, Kim.

That's not traditional. Thank you. Thank you. No, it's not. It's not traditional. Fuck. It sounds like a fucking, like, a 80s rock song. Exactly.

Grease, too. Grease is not traditional, but some of the songs sound more musical than this. This is definitely. This sounds like a garage band. I know. Take my hand. We don't need any money. I don't need any money. You can get in too.

If you get in with me. Let's go.