KFC Radio - KFCradio: Johnny Futbol

Episode Date: June 19, 2018

Feits pops in the studio before jetting off to Portugal. You vs a flock of geese. Chatty people on a plane. Headphones on at the bar. Kim Jong-un and Melania make a pornoYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Another edition of KFC Radio back here on the East Coast, back in the lovely little closet that we call a studio. On my way... The White Person's Trap House. That's what it was. I actually couldn't remember exactly how to describe that. That's what I was trying to think of. The White Person's Trap House. Welcome to the studio.

On the way to LA last week, I left my movement shades in the Uber. You did. That was a big problem. That was a big problem. I had to go to fucking urban outfitters and buy a shitty pair of $18 sunglasses that were not my style.

I felt like I was wearing female glasses the whole time. You might have been. I think I was. Yeah, but they weren't noticeably female. In fact, Pharrell Williams, he likes to search. Sometimes he goes through female sunglasses. Breaking news, me and Pharrell, not the same kind of guy. Not exactly able to pull off the same sort of stuff.

So I had to go get these shades. I felt uncomfortable wearing them the whole time out there. I needed my movement shades. The hide glasses, that's what I rock. Black frames, like mirror blue lenses. They're fire. Lost them. So MVMT, this is me laying it on thick.

Send me another pair. And I'll take another pair weekends while we're at it too. Let's just do it up. And you know what? Even if they don't send it to us, I'm going to have to get my own pair because they're only 70 bucks. These look like they're $200. They're designer glasses. See, that's also kind of the beauty of movement.

I'm not going to encourage you here to lose your sunglasses or anything, but you're going to lose your sunglasses. And when you lose a $400 pair, you feel like an absolute asshole. When you lose them in the ocean, when you sit on them, when you leave them at the bar drunk, 70 bucks, you know,

it's much easier to replace. They are hot as hell. I had a, I think I had an Instagram story from LA and I had three separate girls text me. Those sunnies are hot. Hey, now, I mean, only once it's sunnies, but I love sticking with that one. The proof is in the pudding, man. Go to a MVMT.com slash KFC. You get 15% off your shades, free shipping and free returns. That's MVMT.com slash KFC. You get 15% off your shades, free shipping, and free returns.

That's MVMT.com slash KFC. We are back, but not for long. Your boy Fidelberg is off to Portugal. Portuguesa. He's Portuguesa. Hey, hey, hey. For the World Cup, of course. Well, we do it Tuesday and Thursday, so we're doing two full episodes.

We're not doing the quickies this week. Well, here's what happened. We decided to take a little hiatus this past week. While we were in L.A., we said, let's take a hiatus next week. John's going to be on vacation. We just went to L.A. We did a whole bunch of content. We can take off.

We told Paul, our booker, hold all guests, in case he was going to come with Oprah or maybe Obama, maybe the Pope. I said, no, no, no. We're not going to be around. Who we failed to tell that we wanted to take a week off was sales. Big mistake. Apparently, they kind of are important. So Steve Che came up to me and said, you have 11 ads this week. You have five your first episode and six your next episode.

So it's not like we can just kind of, oh, we'll just do one here and one there, and you're good to go. 11. So, buddy, you ain't taking off. No. It's funny because, you know, Steve was like, you know, in that moment, Steve was like the CEO. He was like my boss. He was like, nope.

Like, fuck you. I'm not doing it. I'm not rearranging 11 ads. Fuck you. You're doing your show. And let's just get it out there right now. Tomorrow I will be in rare form for the podcast when I Skype in for it. Oh, I can imagine.

Because I am going to be jet lagged. And also Portugal plays at noon tomorrow. Oh, I mean, when in Portugal. When in Portugal, you got to, you know. I mean, that is. I'm going to land. Did you realize that? I mean, obviously this trip has been on the books forever.

But did you realize you're going to be in Portugal for the World Cup? Yeah. You did? Yeah. Because that's a game changer. That's an X factor. It's going to be fucking it's gonna be fucking nuts so so so excited for it but like when i land like you fly overnight like to europe so it's like i leave at nine o'clock tonight but i leave out of boston because jfk doesn't go direct and then i would have to fly from jfk to boston and then go through customs again i I was like, fuck that. I'll just take a train up. So I'm leaving

from Boston at 9 o'clock tonight and I land. It'll be like 6 a.m. Portugal time but only midnight for me. And then it's going to be like... Then you just go right through. I have to go to a game. I have to go watch a game. I was going to just go to bed.

That second day is going to be brutal for you because that's when it's all going to hit you like a ton of bricks. I was just hanging out by the pool all day is going to be brutal for you because that's when it's all going to hit you like a ton of bricks. Which I'll just hang out by the pool all day. I was going to say. I'll be all right. Let's not cry for a fight over a year. It's jet lag on vacation. I'll be okay.

It's not like I'm going to go to L.A. Time ceases to exist on vacation. Especially if you're doing time zones. You eat whatever you want whenever you want. And I was having steak. I was having filet mignon for breakfast in L.A. It was steak and eggs, but it was a filet. I mean, you eat what you want. You do what you want. You drink what you want. You sleep when you want. You don't sleep when you want and I was having steak. I was having filet mignon for breakfast in LA. It was steak and eggs but it was a filet. I mean you eat what you want, you do what you want, you drink what you want, you sleep

when you want, you don't sleep when you want, sun up, sun down, doesn't matter. Vacation. Nothing. It's your world. I always said carbs, money, and alcoholism don't exist on vacation. Amen. Put that on a t-shirt. Carbs, money, alcoholism don't exist. They're all just things that aren't real when you're on vacation.

But I was actually just this morning, I was watching the Columbia game at a bar. I was just drinking water. You're basically an honorary Columbian at this point. I am. And it was so dope. The bar was just packed full of Columbians.

And I, by happenstance, am wearing a Columbia color. Wait, where was it? I was just up in the street. I was just at that football factory on 33rd and 5th. What's going on right now? Nah, it just ended. I was going to say,

let's fucking wrap this shit up and get over there. No, it started at 8, so I woke up at 8, went over there, and then it was like, people were going. Johnny football.

Johnny football. Just hugging strangers. I was like, let's go to Colombia! I was like, who is this gringo? What is this gringo boy with a big nose doing hugging me? That's amazing. One guy was staying in Barcelona and reached out.

Bunch of grandmas there. They were getting ripped. Everyone was like. Blessing everybody. I mean, I'm sure like people like Colombians and like, you know, if your home country is playing, like you take today off. Oh, yeah. Because it's a big day.

And so like in like Colombia, I don't think they've made they make the World Cup very often. Right. Colombians, if your home country is playing, you take today off. Oh, yeah. Because it's a big day, right? And Colombia, I don't think they make the World Cup very often. Right. They sound like a country that's good at soccer, but they're not. They're racist. Definitely. I was going to be like, how many times have they won it? They don't even qualify. I might be wrong, but I don't think they make it very often.

So it's a big one for them. And yeah, they were like grandmas standing on bar stools, fucking holding up beers and shit. It was fun. That's unbelievable. What a scene. Yeah. Johnny football. That is why it's a hogo bonito.

Because it brings together people like this. It was very much like that. It's like there's never a time where John would be hugging Colombians unless soccer is on the pitch. I stand corrected. I've had a hell of a 12 hours. You know what I watched last night? And I got to get this out. I got to give it my seal of approval.

Set it up. I've heard of this. I've heard rumblings of this movie. Yes. I went to bed floating on cloud nine, just watching so much goddamn love. It was. Now you're romantic, John. You are romantic. there's one scene in particular the and yet scene i'm not gonna go into it but the and yet scene and

yeah okay just fuck i'm gonna have to watch this shitty movie now just just to be able to like talk about it on the podcast no it's not a shit it's not it's a it's a very it's like a 90 on rotten tomatoes it's like i saw that i did see that high i rated it's uh it. It's a very, it's like a 90 on Rotten Tomatoes. It's like. I saw that. I did see that. High rated. It's very, very good. It's not, I'm not going to say it's Crazy Stupid Love Level. It's not. You better not. Because it's.

Because you know what? Nothing is. Because yeah, no. Steve Carell and Gosling are, I mean. Yeah. Are there any even stars in this? It's stars. Tay, Tay Giggs, Tay Diggs and Lucy Liu.

Oh, okay. Are kind of like, they're not the main two characters, but they are. They're heavily involved in it. All right. Those are legit. Yeah. And then, and then the other guy, actually one of them, they're not the main two characters, but they are, they're heavily involved in it. All right, that's legit. Yeah. And then the other guy, actually one of them, I didn't realize when I tweeted it out last night,

the chicks in the office quote tweeted me, and they're like, this is huge. Greg Powell, I think his name was. He was very good. The two main characters were both, they were younger, but they're both,

Zoe Dutch was the other one, I think, who's apparently a different person than Zoe Deschanel. Who knew? And, but it was really, really good. And I guess he was on Chicks in the Office very recently, like last week, promoting it. Well, you know, I think, who's apparently a different person than Zooey Deschanel. Who knew? But it was really, really good. And I guess he was on Chicks in the Office very recently. Last week, promoting it. Well, you know, we are big movie guys.

And we are proud to announce that we have decided on our first film. That's how you know we're movie guys. We call them films. The first movie we are going to do our Alone Together series on is officially going to be Jurassic World The Lost Kingdom. We just picked a bomb-ass blockbuster

to kick things off. We're never going to see The Artist for Alone Together. No, no, no. We might even do one for the set-up. Or set it up. Hey, listen, if the idea is to get everyone at the bar so that you have a conversation piece and an icebreaker

and you can all socialize and talk and find love. Set It Up might be the exact perfect pick for Alone Together. It certainly is. There's just a couple of perfect rom-com scenes. You will end up having sex after that night, I promise you. So we're going to kick things off with Chris Pratt and Jurassic Park.

That comes out Friday, the 22nd. We are going to give it a few weeks and then, because 4th of July is in the middle there, we are going to do it a few weeks, and then because Fourth of July is in the middle there, we are going to do it July 12th. We haven't picked a bar yet, so for those of you who don't know, alone together, the idea is everyone goes to see the movie, preferably on their own, alone, solo. We won't be checking movie stuff.

Right. You don't have to bring your receipt. Yeah, you want to be a pussy and go with someone? You want to be a weirdo, go with friends? You want to be gay and go with your girlfriend? Fine to be a weirdo go with friends you want to be you want to be gay and go your girlfriend fine we're not going to hold it against you but uh the idea is everyone goes to see these movies alone and then we'll all get together at the bar we'll do a happy hour and we'll uh everyone you'll know that every single person at the bar has seen this

movie and wants to talk about this movie so you can go up to whoever you want it's almost like when you're back in college and you know everyone's trying to make friends you're allowed to talk to anybody it's like that so uh we'll pick the bar we'll do a happy hour maybe me and fights will do so you can go up to whoever you want. It's almost like when you're back in college and you know everyone's trying to make friends so you're allowed to talk to anybody. It's like that. So we'll pick the bar. We'll do a happy hour. Maybe me and Fights will do a little podcast or we'll be filming video, something like that. There'll be some content around it.

And we'll all chat about movies and get drunk. Perfect. I mean, that's a beautiful summer day. So it'll be Thursday the 12th. We'll let you know what bar. Actually, I mean, it'll be that week because whatever bar is available whatever night, right? So we'll figure that out. So that week available whatever night right so we'll figure that out yeah so that we can figure that out you sir that's why i you'll notice i looked at you as i said that it's like excuse me producer yeah we're just gonna announce

this and then be like and get to work you have to make all this happen and you're on a deadline that's what i did to you i think on couch by couch west i think i had a meeting and i was like this was like before you were full-time, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I was just like, oh, by the way, we're selling out a theater two nights in a row. We need to put together a run of film. Thanks.

See you later. While you work your other job full-time. Yeah, that's right. I got you hired. So you actually, yeah, you owe me for that one. Let's get into, before we do voicemails, we're going to get into a couple fan tweets. We haven't done those in a little while. So we some ksu radio tweets that brought you by simply safe in

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Don't care. I like it. But even I, even I, I mean, 5,000 complaints about alarms. Jeez, that's pretty annoying. So, what you got to do is go ride with simply safe they got rid of all the contracts and the hidden fees see that's the problem when i got a house it came with an alarm system and they were like uh you know we it was

turned off because the people moved but they're like if you you know you want to enable it you just gotta you just gotta call a company and give them this number and that number and pay this and pay that and they'll you know enable it Do you want this package or that package? I was like, well, I'm not doing this. I'm not doing any of this. Maybe lock my door at night and hope for the best. No, I'm just kidding, actually. Folks, I have a fucking state-of-the-art high-tech security system with lasers.

It's like entrapping with Catherine Zeta-Jones or a butt sticking out. The whole thing. The whole nine. Don't even try to break into my house. But I actually do now have Simpl have Simply Safe sent me over their box. So maybe I'll rock with them. So they get rid of all the contracts and the hidden fees. They treat you right.

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All right, we've got a couple tweets before we get into the voicemails. We begin with Lobster Sauce, at Lobster Sauce underscore. Oh, I thought that was just a tweet. Okay, that makes more sense. I don't know what that means. This guy, he's tweeting about this girl who pulled a page out of the Feidelberg playbook. This girl asked me to go to the DMV with her for our first time meeting. He's tweeting about this girl who pulled a page out of the Feidelberg playbook. This girl asked me to go to the DMV with her for our first time meeting.

Is this a weird move or not? I guess it means the second date can't possibly be more boring. That's the Feidelberg. That is. But I don't even do DMV. I mean, there are certain limits to everything. You could be like, like you also, you could be like, hey, do you want to, you want to like, you want to go to like a war stricken country? And like, you know, you want to go to like.

This sounds like one of those things where you kind of like, do you have a friend who you just know is there? Like your friend who, when you're on a long car ride or a walk and you're just like, I'll call you. Yeah. Because your job is to just entertain me when I'm doing something yes yes yep yep that sounds like what she's looking for it sounds like she's not looking for a boyfriend that's the problem here someone to just i was gonna say what you said is true like a friend is like a friend helps you move a friend

keeps you company when you go to the dmv or you call you know you don't go to the dmv with him but it's like hey man i'm online the dmv what's going on talk to me those are what you do with friends that's not romance. That's not like, listen, put it this way. Sparks ain't flying at the DMV. No one's getting the heart eye emoji waiting in line at the DMV. No, I don't think so. And you know what?

I actually don't really have a ton of experience with DMV, so I can't really speak to it. I'll say this because I do. I've heard all the horror stories, but I've never really, I've never really had a bad one. That's like the dirty little secret. DMV ain't so bad. Now, like you can absolutely have your horrific moments for sure. It usually depends on what you're doing. If you need to like go like renew your license, they like they've streamlined that. If you need to like, I don't know, figure out some, some like crazy moving violations, I'm sure they're motherfuckers to you.

But I feel like that like the dmv joke is like just that trying to think of there's millions of other examples that i'm just blanking on where it's like we always say like that's just something that happens in movies that's not a real thing like the dmv jokes is like a seinfeld stand-up bit that's a seinfeld episode yeah like airplane food yeah right right now it's like i'm pretty sure you can like sign up ahead of time and like you almost like make an appointment and you roll a fucking app we just like yeah i mean i've gone to the dmv it's called the dmv express i'll run uh by penn station and it's like bingo bango in and out the the one time i've had a really bad experience at a government building

and it was it was almost more sad than it was bad but i had to get my passport renewed for this trip and i went to the post office to do that and the post office in my hometown is like a humongous building like a really nice looking building and or at least you know one of the post office or shitty ones too but the one i go to is like this big building and uh because fall river used to be a mill town it used to be a very very. I don't give a fuck. But a lot of the government buildings are old, nice buildings because it used to be really nice. Now it's not. But there was a line fucking a mile long.

They had all the windows down because they just can't afford that many employees anymore. And this is the worst part. They had a pen. We had this huge single pen. We had this huge line. I think, you know what? I think post offices are the new DMV. Because I went to get my passport renewed and it was like the same sort of shit.

Because people still drive fucking cars all over the place. So you need to keep the DMV staffed. Post offices are dying. So if you need some postal help there's going to be one person for the whole world's postal needs.

And it felt so bad like the girl was so nice she was such a great employee because she stayed like two hours later than the building was supposed to be open because everyone

needed their fucking passport. And it was like it was literally a scene from 30 Rock when they have Booger played by Matthew Broderick and he's like we don't have pens and Alecick. And he's like, we don't have pens.

And Alec Baldwin's like, what do you mean you don't have pens? He's like, we don't have pens in the government. And it was literally that. We had one pen being passed down a line. What's worse? Being on that line or being that employee? Honestly, God, I was one of the last people they took. And she was still bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, so happy.

This is why there's the term going postal, because of shit like that. Is it? Well, I don't know. I know if I was working at that job, and I was going a little crazy, that's when I would be prone to snap and shoot up a place if I was just like, I'm here fucking two hours late because I'm the only fucking employee here. I don't have a fucking pen. These guys need their passport.

Yeah, she was so cool. I was like, thank you so much for staying late. She's like, oh I don't have a fucking pen. These guys need their passport. Yeah, she was so cool. I was like, thank you so much for staying late. She's like, oh, don't even worry about it. I'm just going to go drink a bunch of tequila after. I was like, word. See, good for her. I complain. That's how I would handle that situation.

Now, the difference here with this girl, too, doing the Feidelberg is a strategic plan where you have this idea in your head, like, tell me the worst thing in the world. I'm going to make it fun for you, and there's a point to it. I think this girl, was not,

it's a different story, if you do something intentionally bad, to try to impress, and woo, and seduce. If you're just doing it, because you're like an asshole, like,

that's a different story. It has to be intentional. Yeah, you have to tell them, you have to tell them your plan. Yes, right, that's what I mean.

I know this is a terrible thing. I'm gonna make it fun for you, because that's how fun of a person i am i can make anything fun this is just like hey you want to go to the mv with me uh no no pass absolutely not in fact like it would only be like a again because it would only be a 10 minute trip it's a short date i think you have to express you're in and out uh this comes from kenny stengel old school question here old school kfc radio how many geese would it take to kill you? You fight with your bare hands and in an open field. Geese are nasty motherfuckers.

I've heard of this. Gooses are not nice. They're not nice, but they also don't have talons. They don't have talons. I mean, you'd have to... It would take a lot of fucking geese to kill me. If I'm in a fight for my life,

and I know, I understand I'm in a fight for my life, like it's like Thor Ragnarok. Yeah. Where you're like, I have to win this fight or I die.

Yep. I think I could kill most of the geese. Like hundreds of geese? You think they would just be like dead geese? Just be scattered. I think eventually

maybe I'd pass out from like the smell of their innards and then they'd have their way with me but i i think i think it's telling you you're fucked by these geese have your way with me goose i don't know how geese even kills i just pictured him like slamming their heads into me like a giraffe yeah i i think that it would be a lot of pecking i bet you they can that what a giraffe does oh yeah you ever seen giraffe fights? Oh Whack I've talked about how Whack I thought that was something you did

No That's why he does it He's an idiot That's why I do it But yeah Oh okay Makes sense now Yeah no

I just giraffe into people's chests I've probably had A hundred concussions in my life Just from drafting people So let's see By the way I just googled Can goose kill?

So it says geese cannot kill you outright. They can, however, do considerable bruising, and their bites can slash your skin, especially when they deliver it with a hard twist. An angry goose is nothing to mess with. The larger geese have wingspan up to six feet they have powerful flight muscle muscles and uh they can uh you know they can flap you with their wings and shit like that which again is not going to kill you but the formidable beak is darting and biting and twisting and can tear flesh if they gang up on you it's even worse oh they got some teeth on them they got some teeth like that wouldn't feel good again i, I mean, that's not going to, like, kill you,

but I don't know if there's, like, hundreds of them, and they're, like, biting your, I don't know, maybe they can, like, slit your wrists or get into your jugular. Look at that one. Dude, that can kill you. Yeah, that's no joke. That's no joke. But I think, like, I just ripped their necks.

I just ripped their heads off. I don't know if it's easy to do that. I don't think you can just rip a geese head off, like, no problem. It's not like you just pop it on the top of a water bottle like bones and flesh and shit. I'd use a geese to start beating the other geese. I'd swing it around my head like a mace.

My main thing is I think if a goose were to come at me right now like flapping its wings and shit and like running at me, I would be like afraid because I'd be like oh shit that's a goose. But once you're in the fight for your life and like running at me, I would be like afraid because I'd be like, oh shit, that's a goose. But once you're in the fight for your life and once you get the taste for goose blood, like after a couple, I think you're like, whatever, I'm not scared anymore. And then you start just grabbing them by their big long necks and just squeezing and biting.

I think once you get over the whole like, oh, I don't want to be near a goose. It's like, I'm going to fucking kill these geese. I think then you get much more comfortable with the goose murder. Yeah, I think I have a much better chance in a fight against 20 geese than one goose. Right. Yes, I'm going to fucking kill these geese. I think then you get much more comfortable with the goose murder. Yeah, I think I have a much better chance in a fight against 20 geese than one goose. Right, yes, that's a great point. One goose, I'll just go run it. You'd be afraid, but 20 geese, you're like, I need to kill 20 geese right now. Like, this is

it's going down. I'd wear a Canada goose jacket during it too. This is your brother, this is your fucking sister! Just ripping pillows open, that's another one! I think you would need to like Like tear one goose apart Like you said

And spin it around And be like Put all the other goose on notice Like just what I just did Yeah But I almost think You'll go Hamlet with it Just fucking put it on a steak

Yes Just Honk honk I think though Like enough of anything Can kill you Yeah no For sure

For sure I don't think Like you might get like smothered. You might like you said pass out for some reason. Then they just like a nod. Yeah. Their goose teeth. It's it.

I think it would be. I think I would die probably from exhaustion after 15 geese. Oh, OK. I thought you were going to say something crazy. I don't even like 500 geese. No, like 15 geese. I'd get pretty tired. And then I think I'd be like it's like a boxing match. I'd get to like the fourth round. Yeah. Well, you know, the main thing is not necessarily can the geese, I'd get pretty tired. And then I think I'd be, you know, like it's like a boxing match.

I'd get to like the fourth round. Yeah, well, you know what the main thing is? It's not necessarily can the geese kill me. It's can I really like easily snap goose necks and kill geese? Again, one, no, I couldn't. But even I'm just, you know, I'm not exactly the toughest guy. I don't know if I'm like, can I really just rip apart a goose with my bare hands? If I can, then I think it's on.

If that's harder than I think. I can definitely, I don't know if I can rip it apart, but I can like, not like, I mean, not like it's a piece of paper. I can fuck up a wing or a neck enough to the point where he's disabled. And then you step on their throat. Yeah, and then step on their goose neck and they're dead. So, final answer, like 15?

Yeah, 15's fine. If you're saying 15, I gotta go down lower, obviously. I guess I'll go 10. I'll kill 10 geese.? Yeah, 15 is one. If you're saying 15, I got to go down lower, obviously. I guess I'll go 10. I'll kill 10 geese. 11, though. I'm cooked. I'm pretty sure we had this exact conversation with wolves at one point. Yeah, somebody said like hundreds of wolves.

I think like Arian Foster said he could fight a wolf or something like that. Yeah, he's going to kill a wolf. Yeah. But a wolf is a predatory creature. It's a train to kill, yeah. Yeah, a goose. A goose. I mean, although. In a wolf's biology, it knows where the jugular is.

A goose, I don't think, knows where to attack a human. I don't know. They're fucking nasty, bro. You never encountered a goose? They'll come at you. No. I only encountered a goose in my entire life. I saw Larry David kill one with one swing at a golf club. I've been around geese before.

They're cocky. They're almost like raccoons and squirrels and pigeons. They ain't afraid of humans. They'll come right at you. Quick little side note. There was always a ton of geese on Fordham's campus. And one time this kid was blacked out walking around campus in the middle of the day

and he kicked a goose. Oh, actually, you know what? Goose are terrified of me. I forgot about this. When, like, I played, like, Little League Baseball, there was shit all over the field, and we'd just go chasing them to run away. Well, I mean, those were probably like baby geese, because you fuck with a mama goose, they're

coming for you. But anyway, my friend Kyle, he ran across... He ran across Eddie's Parade, ran across the quad, and he drop-kicked this kid for kicking the goose he did like a full blown like two-footed wow like just drop kicked this kid he was horizontal and kicked him it was like how do you like it you're gonna fucking kick geese fuck you it's like whoa peter up in here

when you see a drop kick happen i i've seen once in one of my life it was a newport kid ran down a hill down memorial boulevard and just jumped and drop kicked. It's some Mortal Kombat shit. It's the coolest thing you'll ever see. Ever. You're fully horizontal. He had big air. Two feet. Kid went flying. I was like, yo! This kid did it on a sidewalk.

He took a bump just to fucking make sure he kicked you in the back of the chest. Call it the fact. We got a word for that. All right, voicemail time brought to you by Black Buffalo. Fights was walking around L.A. Yeah, Fights was trying to be West Coast bougie.

He was trying to be so SoCal for him, meaning you can't just dip 24-7. No, it was. We were in meetings. We were walking around in the sun. He was like, I need a dip so bad. I wasn't being so cow. I was just being polite. We have a unique office where you can dip in a meeting.

I didn't want to go into studios and dip in meetings. I don't have the clout like that. Not yet. By our fourth meeting, we did. By our fourth meeting, we were pitching script ideas and buddy cop films. You hold my spitter for me. I'm not even going to have a spitter. I'm just going to spit on your floor and clean it up later.

So as soon as we would get out of these meetings, Fights would whip out some Black Buffalo. It is the only tobacco-free dip that delivers the same experience as traditional smokeless products, just without any of the tobacco leaf or stem. So you get the same taste, texture, and the dark color, the flavor of it all. And yeah, don you get the same test taste texture and the dark color the flavor of it all and uh yeah don't get the nicotine sulfites was just like oh i got my fix uh and so you can keep your ritual you can keep you know your favorite uh favorite routine of the day but you ditch the tobacco right now go to blackbuffalo.com use the promo code feITELBERG, and you get 10% off your order. That's FITELBERG, F-E-I-T-E-L-B-E-R-G, and you get 10% off your next order of Black Buffalo. How about that?

Promo code FITELBERG. Moving on up. We'll make that promo code John next time. Right? It's like such a dumb fucking name. It's a tough one. It's not easy. It's funny because it's so commonplace to me and most of the stories now but like that's that's a name that's like well i mean i had a boss who for five years couldn't say it i had

like i mean i all throughout school teachers couldn't say it when we were out in la uh uh we were talking to deirdre who's our head of sales just about business and dave and stuff and she goes he calls me deirdre and i was like well get used to it that ain't gonna be changing because fights was feats and he's a pretty important piece of the whole machine here coleyley was cooly. Even stupid things like tall one, he just called tall guy. This is a made up term to describe this guy. He's the tall one.

You made it up! Tall guy. Why can't you do anything right, you asshole? Voicemails. Who's up? King Jong-un sex tape. Yes, I'd watch. Yeah, that's going to be the good one. But would'd watch yeah that's gonna be the butt up kfc

fight super but would you jerk off that'll be the kicker uh so in honor of this kim jong-un donald trump singapore summit i will hypothetical for you what sex tape would you rather be leaked kim jong-un with melania trump or donald trump with kim jong-un's hot sister from the olympics i gotta look that up you have to google it i mean it's uh uh kim yo-jong i i don't i don't know what she looks like but i know i know it's not melania i know i'd rather see melania oh right okay i was gonna say i thought you i thought you said your answer is not melania yeah like like this girl first of all she's not hot even if she was a rocket ship you're not watching celebrity sex tapes for the hotness i mean it's nice if they're hot but like

you're watching for the intrigue and there's a million hot i can go find you a hot asian girl who's hotter than kim jong-un and and boom there you go but you want to see, like, the whole point would be Kim Jong-kucking Donald Trump and banging Melania, who's like a hot first lady. And also just like, even more than that for me, actually, is I just, I think seeing Kim Jong-fuck would be funny. Oh, so funny. I think seeing Donald Trump fuck would be disgusting. I think. Well, I would imagine Kim Jong-fuck is pretty disgusting, too. Yeah, but it's just funny.

He's young. Like, Donald Trump is like, Donald pretty disgusting, too. Yeah, but it's just funny. He's young. Donald Trump is old as shit. Donald Trump is like 72. Yeah, but you're making it sound like Kim Jong is like this young, hot fucking. No, I'm not saying he's young and hot. Fidelberg is like, Kim Jong is a hunk. But Kim Jong fucking is not even close. It's a different realm of humor.

34 years old. Damn. Kim Jong is is not even close. It's a different realm of humor. 34 years old. Damn. Kim Jong's younger than you? My age? A lot of people. A lot of people. Kim Jong, like, there's just something about him. Yeah, well, he's a fat Asian.

That's funny. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's funny. That's inherently funny. It's like tumor wrestlers. They're funny. Right. It's very rare.

And it's just, there's, even the fact that kim jong is just a horrible terrible person even just his look isn't that weird though because like you wouldn't be like i would i it would be so funny to watch osama bin laden fuck you wouldn't say that ever no but he's like a horrible war criminal kim jong not war criminal but like terrorist yeah he's you know he's a terrible terrible person but you know what i'm saying like why this is everything with Kim Jong. Why is there a humor element to him? Just something, just his cheeks, his haircut. Everything about him looks kind of weird.

The cheeks are very, you know, they're kind of like roly-poly. He's like Winnie the Pooh. He's like, you know, this round, funny guy. Yeah, I want to see him get in a Melania's jar of honey. It's just, it's honey. It's funny. It's going to smack her all over. Do you think that Kim Jong puts down?

Gross. Do I think he puts down? No, Kevin. I don't think he puts down. Here's my thing. He's like he's got like a harem of chicks. You know what I mean? Like I bet you like he fucks all day long. Under the threat of death. Whatever. But no, I don't even think sex is just something.

I'm not saying he puts down like a girl's going to walk out of there like, you know, Bambi legs being like, that was the greatest sex I've ever had. But I'm saying I think he probably gets like nasty with it. Oh. Because he's a horrible person. And I think he probably like has sex with like, you know, he forces women to have sex with him like all day long. Yeah.

But I don't think sex is a practice thing. I think sex is like, it's like dancing where you really got it. You don't, you got it. You can get to, if you're, yeah,

if you're fucking all day, every day, if you're on dancing with the stars and you're practicing non fucking stop, you can get decent, but like you can tell even someone who knows just because you practiced in your, your natural, there's a difference between like seeing someone who knows how to do that and someone who just like,

just has it. Yeah. Well, it's, it's almost like us. It's like, you know, we're really not that funny.

We've just been doing this forever. We just keep fucking doing this up these episodes until people think they're good and listen to us. But then you, you know, we have like a real comedian come through or like an actually really talented person. It's like,

Oh, there's a huge difference. That's fucking like that guy is trying really hard he's he's read up he's googled how to do the come hither and all that shit he knows he knows the moves but he's you can tell that he needed to learn exactly he didn't come out of the womb knowing that so yeah maybe maybe he's learned to walk but like i mean he's gonna be running the sprints kim jong's not gonna be to be in the Olympics. Right, right, right, right. So, yeah, but final answer, Kim Jong and Melania.

Like that, that might be like my number one sex tape, period. Yeah, that would be unbelievable. Melania is a fucking weapon. She's a rocket. And the thought of like, oh, yeah, she looks so. I mean, think about how much pent up like anger, frustration and sexual frustration she has. Like she would unleash on you, bro. She'd be like Dracarious.

That KFC fight, Super Producer BC. Nailed it. I was recently just flying from DC to Boston, literally like an hour and a half long flight, so short. But the guy sitting next to me made me take out my headphones and proceeded to make small talk of me for the entirety of the flight um it was 7 a.m and also my mom was sitting right next to me so that was just weird um but once we landed i started thought everything was good two hours later i get a facebook like message from him instagram request facebook request the whole thing um literally the

only thing this guy knew about me was my first name and where i just graduated college so it was weird he was not hot so it didn't play well for him but i was just wondering like you got me thinking if y'all have any weird stories like this on slice of strangers uh thanks guys i uh i'm i'm a non-attractive male so yeah that never Yeah that never happens That never happens to me And you know what we talk about that kind of stuff But if it did happen to me I would not handle it well

Not like I would be mad or anything like that I would be like scared If someone were to bother you like and just want to talk you up Like a girl was talking to me And she's like hey what's up I'm Samantha you know I'd be like oh my god what is wrong with this girl Why is she talking to me and she's like hey what's up i'm i'm samantha you know i'd be like oh my god what is wrong with this girl why is she right you automatically think like is this a setup like

something must be going wrong because this can't just naturally be occurring to me yeah this person's not interested in me no way who's paying her to do this like it would that so like we always joke about that as guys like yeah girls you know you don't have to go out of your way you don't have to put your pride in the line you know face projection if they did i would i would probably just like ask to move i'm like it's very it's very attractive girls taking interest in me sir yeah something's wrong can you can you please move this you should get her off this flight she's a problem there's there's a risk here yeah well that's just a uh a staggering lack of self-confidence and self-esteem is what that really comes down to. You're right. You're right.

I think that this is a little bit on her. Like, I think that she, I'm going to victim shame here. Like, she was asking for it. Like, I think at some point you got to put your headphones in and be like, okay, yeah, okay. Like, I'm watching my movie now. But, like, I guess if they just continually persist to talk and you're, like, a naturally polite person. Like, I know you. You would sit on that plane.

You could land and everyone could be deboarding and flights would be, like, if they're talking to me, I'll have to just sit here and continue to talk to them. 1000%. I would never get off that plane. I'd just sit there talking. There's not a doubt off that plane. I'd just sit there and talk. There's not a doubt in my mind. I was just going to say that. If someone makes a headphone gesture, motion, what can I do for you, friend?

And then next thing I know, I'm like an indentured slave. I need to move when I land. Can you help me? Yeah, definitely. For sure. I got nothing going on. Out of all of the things that we have talked about, our personalities and whatnot, I think over the, even just recently, over the past few weeks even, I've seen you put that into

action more than ever, where it's like, you will just talk to someone if they want to talk to them. You will just do something if they want you to do it. Like, folks, he ain't lying. Dude. Vyce is the biggest. I think he actually comes from a place of being nice and polite.. Like folks, he ain't lying. Dude. Weiss is the biggest. I think he actually comes from a place of being nice and polite. You're the biggest pushover ever.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's no doubt. I say this because I think oftentimes there are some people who think that we're like really exaggerating about ourselves or lying or telling stories that aren't true. And it's like, I'm telling you, Weiss will get caught up doing something he absolutely dreads over rather than just like maybe disappoint a perfect stranger a little bit yeah it's great you could kidnap me you could you

could walk up to me on the street and say hey you live with me now and i'd say okay i hold your hand i'd walk to your apartment it's weird you would it's weird it's funny i don't know why i'm like that i wish i wasn't but but I would yeah I'd stay on this girl I would accept this dude's friend request I would date this guy Like this guy obviously is a creep I got a friend who used to do this when we were younger Too like you know we're all going out

And trying to hook up with girls and stuff you meet a girl At the bar you may be like you know You don't get her number and she's Gone and it's like oh man That girl was really hot and she was into me like she's the one who got away and my buddy would be like what's her name give me like a first name be like a hair color and he would find her like he was an assassin with facebook see you can you can get you can do that uh and it's weird don't get me wrong we make fun of my friend he's a total fucking weirdo for it but uh you know this guy is clearly a guy.

I know it was always like, yo, dude, you know, blonde hair between the ages of like 22 and 25. And I think her name was like Jamie. And I don't know how she spells it. A.I.A. I don't know. Go ahead. Boom.

Like 20 minutes later. Here you go. That's insane. Like, I won't even go to the second page of Google. Hell, I don't even scroll on Google anymore. You said at least check the whole first page. Well, if my first hit doesn't come up, I just assume I Googled it wrong. Well, this thing must not exist. It's just incorrect.

But I think that we as a society need to stand up for ourselves a little more when you get caught in these socially awkward things now there's there's two things i force here too though it's like this is this comes back to like cubicle chronicle talk where people like i always talked about how you hate like small talk and dumb like conversation and shit like that but the only thing worse than that is like refusing to engage in that like when you get on a conference call someone's gonna talk about the weather just tell them what the fucking weather is and you ask them back and they'll tell you that it's snowing and you're good rather than be like do we have to do this do we really have to talk about the weather right now it's like just fucking do it yeah but could you can you imagine being a hot girl and how many times people try and talk to you well that and that's like three total people

try and talk to me that like don't they're like you you know, a co-worker, but not a co-worker. I talk to a lot. I'm like, oh, there's the one. Right. That's my quota. Yeah. It's like random strangers. Every time I'm out, just like approach me eventually. Yeah. I mean, it's you become a bitch. It's a quote unquote bitch because you just put your guard up. It's a gift and a curse because it's like we always say that, you know, the flip side for guys is that we have to like we have to shoot our shot there and try or we're gonna die alone because no one's ever gonna come up to us so when you see like a beautiful girl on the plane and you know for whatever reason you think that she might be nice you want to take your chance you have to but yeah i can also understand where girls are

eventually like i mean casey when casey was on here she was like you know you give a guy he tries like once or twice and if they keep persisting, then you ruin his life. Then you completely emasculate him and embarrass him in front of the whole bar. Okay. I was like that emoji with the blushing cheeks and the eyes. I was like, whoa, okay. I mean, but I feel like that's fair because I would never try three times. No, that's.

I hear, I'm a big no beans no guy. I hear one no, I'm like, okay, I'll go fuck myself. Thank you. You get to. I'm going to go kill myself thank you you get to i'm gonna go kill myself in the corner yeah maybe in three years i'll have the courage to talk to a girl again i'm on hiatus right now yeah we'll see we're going on about a year and a half now i'll figure it out dude last year like not last year uh yesterday, Keith and I went to get a drink.

Last year? I mean yesterday. Keith and I went to get a drink at the Smith, and he got up to leave, and I stayed. I had an extra one, and there was just this gorgeous girl sitting next to me, and she was alone. And she wasn't like, hey, hey, hey. But it was kind of like looking over. At you.

Yeah. Did nothing. I said, check, please. I said, this is incredible. I got to get out of here. Fuck out of here. What's her deal? John.

Why, John? I don't know, Kevin. John, she was probably like a fucking fan. She probably would have like fucked you right then and there. Everything about me is why. Yeah, it's so true. You want to know why? Because I know how horrible it is when I'm doing things just to be nice.

And I don't, like I'm not happy doing it. But I'm just doing it so I don't want to put someone else in that position. She was probably not doing that to be nice if she was giving you eyes. I mean, who knows what eyes are. You clearly don't. I clearly don't. Admittedly, you have no idea what, who knows what eyes are? You clearly don't. I clearly don't. Admittedly, you have no idea what signals or eyes or anything are. I have so much wrong with me.

So much. You know how Bob Fox has the why not tattoo? Yeah. You should get one on your wrist and say, like, because it's terrible or something like that. It wraps around your wrist and you just hold it up next to Bob. I should just say why. Why?

Yeah. Why? Why not? Why? Why? Because of everything. Because of me. ZipRecruiter.com, it's the best way

to find the best hires for whatever job position you're trying to fill. We found our we got Logan and we found our new intern Will through ZipRecruiter. How about that? Both top notch fellas. Exactly. Will just jumped over that fence.

That was the most athletic thing I've ever seen. When we were filming out of office in Central Park. Yes. We were like trying to find the right spot to film. And like he got caught on the wrong side of a fence. We all like, you know, old ass adults walked around and like opening the fence. Will was just like, I got this. Boing.

Just hop like a fucking gazelle. No, it was like a kangaroo. He just jumped right over it. Standing leap. It was crazy. It was. It was. I think Barstool, the Instagram had up like a cow jumping over recently.

And the caption was great. Cops. That's what it was. It's just like two steps. Bam. Gone. It was incredible. I was like, wow, youth, youthful exuberance.

You couldn't do that when you were young. It's not just young. I don't think I could. Yeah, that, no way. That was highly impressive. But, yeah, so, I mean, this guy can do it all. He can film, he can edit, he can jump over fences. That's the kind of people you can find with ZipRecruiter.

What ZipRecruiter does is they find the people you're looking for and they bring them to you. So you're not out there just, you know, cold calling and blanketing the whole world with your job opening and just hoping for something, praying for it to work out. ZipRecruiter identifies the right people for your job and they send them to you. Over 80% of employers who use ZipRecruiter get a qualified candidate through the site in a single day. So you got a job opening, put it on ZipRecruiter, 80% chance that 24 hours later, you're going to fill that. The right candidates are out there, and ZipRecruiter is how you find them.

And right now, you can use ZipRecruiter for free when you go to ZipRecruiter.com slash KFC. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash KFC. It's ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. KFC, first time, long time. I'm walking home from the bar right now and had a thought. We've talked extensively about being the guy with the book at the bar, but what about the guy with the headphones at the bar?

Thought about it as I'm walking home. Like I said, what if you don't like the music choice of the DJ or, I don't know, maybe got a compelling podcast to listen to at the bar. What do you think about the guy who has the headphones while he's at the bar in his ears?

Also, how about this? It's six years we're doing KFC Radio. We now have a volume knob for the voicemails. KFC. First time. Walking home. Does that normally sound? No. Right.

I haven't thought. How about that? After all these years, you fucking whiny crybabies have got your volume. You can listen to the voicemails out loud with your ears on the podcast now. Congratulations. If you're listening to KFC radio, headphones at the bar is a great move. Otherwise, I'm out on it I think you look like an asshole

I was wearing headphones yesterday while I was getting ice Alright I'm in on it Apparently it works In fact yesterday A little funny story I had listened to Everything is Love On Sunday night Didn't care for it much

Realized yesterday when I was at the bar That I had listened to the edited version. That hurts. So popped in the headphones, put on the explicit version, and I just think it's a bad look for the Carters that I just very readily accepted the fact. I was like, okay, they don't swear anymore. Like, okay, they're doing kids' bop music.

They're old, and they do kids' bop music. That's cool. It never even crossed my mind that I had accidentally clicked on the edited version. Why do they even put out edited versions? It's so annoying. On Spotify too. It's so stupid.

It's one thing when your parents had to buy the explicit album. It's just Spotify. Right. It's just my headphones. I'm going to listen to fucking swears. I don't care if I'm six years old. Do you think that you were getting eyes because you were wearing headphones? Do you think it played into it?

She probably, yeah. She probably, what the fuck is going on? Yeah, you were drinking alone, listening alone. I think... And so you were talking with someone, they leave, you popped into headphones to have by yourself.

I think that's different than if you, like, roll into the bar with your headphones on. Yeah, I agree with that. I also think it's different, like, he was saying if you don't like the DJ's music.

If a DJ is playing music and you're trying to listen to your own music, you're an asshole. Right. Yeah, they don't like music of the Smiths. If you're just, like,

kind of by yourself and, you know, I'm going to have my drink and listen to my own tunes i think that's a dj i think if there's music play yeah i mean you can't when there's two songs on at the same time it's like and then because then if you you got to be blasting it so you don't hear the other song and then it's like no one can talk to you like the whole point of the book at the bar is like you're doing your own thing until like a girl comes up to you and says like oh my god what are you reading and then it's like it's on the headphones it's like people have to like tap you or scream or wave to get your attention because you're blaring it in your ears i think

that just comes across douchier than the like intellectual book at the bar guy i think it's just like i think it wasn't 1000 does i think we kind of touched on it when we first talked about books at the bar but also it just it it it creates a great hindrance just to order your drink. Yeah. Take it out. Or maybe you're trying to just talk over it, and you're kind of just nodding along with the bartender. And everybody in the bartender does the, like you were saying on the plane, the headphone thing. I need to talk to you.

Can you take your headphones out? If you're in a bar, the bartender, other people, socializing, you're probably going to need to talk and listen at some point even if it's just a little bit you can do that when you have a book, you can do that when you're doing other weird things at the bar crossword puzzle or some shit, typing, whatever headphones, not so much when I had the headphones, I would not have put them in

if I was going to be getting another drink you were doing one and then you were walking out and you're done and it's like, I don't care, there's some beautiful girl who clearly is interested in me. I'm just going to keep listening to this edited version of the fucking carters. No, it was explicit. That's not explicit. I'm going to hear my curse words and walk out of here.

All right. Last voicemail of the day before Fights heads off to Portugal. Brought to you by BetDSI.com. Should I put a little bit of cash on the Portuguese football team? Without a doubt. Yeah? Who are they playing? Without a doubt. Yeah? Who are they playing? Don't know.

Okay. That's what I'm talking about. You can get advice like that from Farrowburg. Morocco. Oh, no, they got the hot coach. They do have the hot coach. Shit. But Portugal seems like they can plug and play soccer, but the hot coach.

Come on. We're talking about Ronnie here. What? Oh, yeah. I mean, Ronnie. You can't bet against Ronnie. Come on. I actually forgot that he played. Oh, yeah. I mean, Ronnie. You can't bet against Ronnie. Come on. I actually forgot that he played for Portugal.

Did you really? Yeah. Because I just think of him as Spain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, all right. Definitely bet on Portugal. He's putting up hat tricks. This is the best place to make money on the internet.

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and start winning today. What's going on, boys? Listen to the wedding season episode last week, and it striked up kind of a conversation I had with one of my boys that's getting married. Her pretty much the bachelorette party is this weekend. They already had a bachelor party, but the groom wants to do another bachelor party. He said he wants to have a more fun bachelor party, pretty much. You know, is that totally against the rules? Is he against rights?

I feel like you're kind of, you know, screwed if you're in the wedding for one of the best men. Kind of want to get your guys' thoughts on it. Thanks, Viva. He didn't like, I mean, tough fucking titties, bro. And then like Get better friends I don't know What the fuck

This is outrageous He wants to have a second bachelor party Cause he didn't have enough fun In his first one Yo that is totally on you bro That is If you can't I mean

This is This is the most Arrogant Brash Ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life Dude we got you your steak dinner We got you your round of golf We got you your round of golf.

We got you your flight. Like, we already, you know, hotel, whatever the fuck you pay for. However you break it up for your bachelor parties. But, like, I'm done paying for you. Yeah. I'm done. If you didn't have fun. Sorry, pal.

I'm not coming to the wedding. In fact, I'd stop being friends with you. I'm out. I'm absolutely out. Clearly, we don't gel. We don't click. I had a great time. We had a good time. You didn't. It sounded like he was going in the direction of maybe they did a joint bachelor-bachelorette party,

but then he just didn't say that. He was just like, no, I just want two. It's like, you had one and you just want a second one? Fuck this guy. You get to put your foot down and say, we're not having it. I wouldn't really, I wouldn't care if my fiance wanted to have a joint party. I wouldn't really, I wouldn't care if, if like my fiance wanted to have a joint party, I wouldn't really care.

Right. I think, I think bachelor parties are like, there's two, you know, there's two kind of vibes for a bachelor party. One is like, I'm just trying to have a good fun weekend.

Others are like, probably a precursor. Yeah. Like a precursor. Like I shouldn't be marrying this person. And I'm like, I need to like Do drugs and fuck people Because I'm never going

To be able to do that again Right And so if you If you want to do that You can't have a joint party If you're just down To have a good time I personally don't like

The joint party But you can You can do it And have a good time I wouldn't care But I also I know that the bachelor party Isn't for the bachelor

It's like it's For the friends That's a great point So like I'd be like Yeah we can do whatever The fuck you guys want But the but for the guys who are trying to cut loose it's tough if people are like if you're outside that inner circle or there i i like the idea of just having the bachelor party too or the joint party because you get to like know everyone

i think it's like past the age of like college relationships we just grew up knowing all their friends right right like i think it's like you get another bridesmaids you're gonna see them at the wedding you're gonna be doing a lot of shit with them so you know who they are and what's going on uh and then wedding's a lot more fun when like it's like hey we meet again like i've already you know seen you uh yeah we don't do the whole awkward thing like we did that friday night we had a fucking blast friday night yeah last saturday sunday i'll see you in a month yeah we'll rip it again the but like if you're the groom and you want one of those parties, like you have to speak up and make sure that they do all that shit and then have your fun. Like if you don't want to just like go Tony Romo and play hide and seek and paintball and shit and that's what they do, that's on you for not saying, hey, this weekend I want like strippers and drugs.

Yeah, yeah. You know, you got to tell the best man what you're trying to do. Like that is your one shot. You get one weekend for people to plan, you know, change their schedules, pay money, do all that other shit, and if you botch it, if you fuck it up, sorry, bro. Yeah, you just have bad friends. And if that happened to me.

I don't even know if it's the friends. I think the friends probably just, like, did their thing, and this guy didn't like it. Imagine oh my god, the audacity. Like I want to redo this. Just in general, hey, imagine you went out Saturday and you're like, guys, we gotta have some

fun tonight because you guys, you were not fun last night. Nobody brought the heat. No one lived up to my standards. Fuck you, dude. I would change. I would make sure I ordered the steak at the wedding, and I would not show up. That's what I'd do if someone said that to me. Like, get out of here, man. You know what? I'm not going to go chicken.

I'm going steak. I'll see you Saturday. By the way, good luck with that one, telling your fiance, by the way. Hey, hon, first one wasn't good enough. I'm going to do another one. Good luck. Good luck in life, you asshole. Yeah, good luck living with that person.

Good luck to the fiance. I'm sure the fiance, if she hears this, she'd be like, fuck you, man. You want even the thought that you're going to have a second one? What kind of asshole wants that? I'm out of here. It's like the girls have those kind of like, they have those, a girl or a woman's wedding has like four parties. They have like the showers and the bridal parties and all that shit. I don't know how many they have, but whatever.

They have more than the one. And I can't – but they're all terrible. Yeah, they hate them. They hate them. I've actually never seen anything quite like the shower life. Every girl hates going to them, yet they do them. And they do the exact same thing. It's like, oh, there's a fucking bridal shower. I hate it. and they get married and they're like it's like i gotta have my bridal shower

and they know how much like all their i think that maybe that's it like the older women of the world still like it so you have to do it i think maybe we'll be the first generation where when those people are moms to get daughters getting married they'll be like don't do that that sucks i hope because if they just keep perpetuating this cycle, it's insanity. Dude, my last girlfriend, she had to go to one on like so hungover and she's just like storing around the apartment. And I was like, what are you doing

at this bachelor party? She's like, we're making fucking gingerbread houses in the middle of summer. I'm like, what are you talking about? Why are you doing this? Why? They play games and they like, you know, it's awful. They're all awful and they don't like doing it. Yet someone always decides to do it. But guess what?

If I get invited to a bridal party, I'm going. If I get invited to a bridal shower, I'll be like, yeah, let's make this fucking gingerbread house your thing. Feidelberg is just constantly in a state of hypnosis where you can just convince him to do anything at all times. Feidelberg, go get me a snack. Enjoy Portugal, baby. Thanks, man.

I mean, we'll talk tomorrow. Yeah, that's true. All right. We'll catch you later. Bye.