KFC Radio - KFCradio: The Diaper Boy

Episode Date: May 15, 2018

Feits tells the story of The Brady 4, Hank and the toilet, the Diaper Boy, and their night in jail. Voicemails include: Would You Rather kill all the people hotter than you, or all the people uglier than you, which Infinity Stone would you want, how to kiss, and which HBO character would you want to be?This episode presented by:Black Buffalo blackbuffalo.com promo code: KFCTommy John tommyjohn.com/kfcDollar Shave Club promo code: KFCZip Recruiter ziprecruiter.com/kfcstore.barstoolsports.com promo code: KFCRADIO for 15% off EVERYTHINGYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Alright, another edition of KFC Radio. I'm looking at my man Feidelberg right now. Looks like, you know, usually he's got that dip bottle in front of him. He doesn't have one right now. You look like you could use one, pal. I sure could. I always could. Yeah, you always could. I feel like you just are like a happier person when you have a lip in. Just all around better.

You perform better. I think I'm just going to have some Black Buffalo on hand at all times and just be like, you know, just pop it in. Put it in. It improves my... It gives me a reason for having a shitty voice. Oh, there you go. Having an inability to talk.

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Use the code KFC. Get 20% off your first order. You can follow them on social media The long cut is coming back soon as well. So head to BlackBuffalo.com. Use the code KFC. Get 20% off your first order. You can follow them on social media at BlackBuffaloInc. Follow them on all platforms for updates and discounts. And like I said, get the 20% off when you use code KFC at BlackBuffalo.com. All right, let's get into it. Today is one of our old school episodes. Some people were recently telling me that they've been loving the guests and they know that they're good for business,

but KFC Radio is at its best when it's just us bullshitting. Well, it's because we're awesome. You know, I was like, oh, okay, stop, but go on. What's your favorite part about when we're bullshitting? And it's true. That's what we've been doing for six years now, and that's what we do best. That's when the show is at its best. So today we're kicking it old school.

It's just me and the fat dumb bitch, the fat cunt boy, John Henry. You are going to be in so much trouble with the advertisers. I can even believe it i'm telling i'm telling i'm telling mom and that's also the best part of kc radio is for some reason we are in some sort of immunity bubble where we can say anything we want i always revert back to the time when we said the f word about 20 times in one voicemail like no one cared. We just said faggot a bunch. Just say it again now, too. It's like, I can't even imagine if I wrote that in a blog. We said it on the rundown.

There was a rundown. I said the N-word in a blog this weekend, and I published it, and then I kind of got freaked out. Yeah, you texted me. We're good, right? It was a quote. And you were like, yeah, it's fine. And me and you were the two people who were still like, I will say what the fuck I want. Whenever people come to me, I'm like, if you come to me, you know I'm going to say still like i will say what the fuck i want whenever

people come to me i'm like if you come to to me you know can i post this video can i say this word like yeah yeah of course why not like can i write about the story yeah definitely and so i texted keith and then keith didn't reply for like a half hour oh he's gonna be so mad no because already published right now and keith hit me with these as long as in quotes it's fine i've had gaz come to me i just don't want keith to be mad at me that's right that's true I don't care what the people say that's like I just don't want Keith to be mad at me that's like dad being mad at you yeah I think that'd be disappointed with you uh I've had Gaz come up to me and ask me like should I run this I'm like Kevin Clancy and Paul Golzinski having a conversation like this is just a waste of time

we are the two last the two least qualified people on the planet to be talking about this type of content um i it was a rundown like probably a couple months ago it's during a chaps visit where uh after we were done somebody a bunch of people dm me and was like yo like you forgot to edit out that n-word that you dropped and i was like what like i 100 did not drop an n-bomb on the rundown i would know that for a fact like that doesn't just like slide out on me like i i might say it sometimes but like i will know if i say it so i go back and i listen to it and i was like it really sounds like i said it and i think i said something to the i said um i think it, you think if you think of chaps, yeah,

it was like, you think of chaps. And it came out like that nigga chaps. And I was like, I was like, there's no way I said that. And then I, I played it back and I was like,

Oh, it sounds like I said it, but I know, I, I still know in my heart, I did not say that word, but I was like, there is no denying that it sounds like I did.

Um, but it was funny. Cause there were people who were like, are you serious? You guys just like put that out there? And I was like, so I emailed like Erica and a bunch of other people who were getting tagged on the tweets. And I was like, listen, most people would say like, I don't say that word.

There's no way. I was like, listen, I could have said it, but I would have known if I said it. Okay. That's the difference here. So I said it in quotes. It was still, i was telling a tale and oh and what a tale it was the story and it was uh i remembered i put in quotes quotes is fine like it was something that said to me i was telling the story what a tale it was gather around

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I was today. I was unpacking my bag this morning. I was actually looking for my headphones that I've lost like three weeks ago. Oh, yeah. I lost four pairs. I was looking for them in this bag. And I was unpacking a bag. It was my bag from Columbia.

I still haven't unpacked from that. And I was looking for my headphones in there. And I found a pair of Tommy Johns rolled up still. Oh, so you know it's good and i was looking for my headphones in there and i found a pair of tommy johns rolled up still oh so you know they're clean yeah let's go tommy john if they're rolled you know you're good even even folded like you might have refolded dirty stuff it was rolled your gucci i wore uh some tommy john the other day i put them on backwards uh you know how they have the quick draw fly yeah you can just go in and out so i like reached in and i was like it's kind of rubbing my dick. I was like, where is the fucking?

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You know, they're premium. They're the type of boxers. You're not going to get a 10-pack of Hanes. You're going to get a few pairs and they're going to be your big game boxers. They're going to be when you really want to be comfortable, look good, and feel good. So hurry over to TommyJohn.com right now. It's TommyJohn.com slash KFC

for 20% off your first order. That's TommyJohn.com slash KFC. You got the boxers. They've got t-shirts, long-sleeve shirts, loungewear. They've got it all. TommyJohn. com slash KFC. You got the boxers. They've got T-shirts, long sleeve shirts, loungewear. They've got it all. Tommy John dot com slash KFC. John, something happened to you this weekend. You you were touched by like the Holy Ghost or something.

You had you were struck by inspiration. Lightning hits you on the how many year anniversary? Three. The three year anniversary of the Brady four. So it was a big day Saturday. I went back. I was back at home for my sister's college graduation. And so it was a special day.

Saturday was a special day for the Feidelbergs. It was my sister's graduation from academia. She's got to be the smartest of the bunch, right? Three years. Yeah, she was the only one. Maybe my other sister might have been cum laude, too. Oh, wow. I forgot there's two sisters. My point being the sisters are smart and the boys are dumb. the only one uh maybe my other sister might have been cum laude too uh but she was the only i mean

i forgot there's two sisters the sisters my point being the sisters are smart and the boys are dumb you didn't graduate no did we know that you did not graduate college i left with one semester left what i didn't know this did i know this yeah i mean you definitely knew it i don't think i did why'd you do that it's a long story see i didn't know that. I don't think I did. Why'd you do that? It's a long story. See, I didn't know that. I definitely don't know the story. You knew. I got it on the podcast.

My mom was sick. Oh, I definitely didn't know this. But all right. So fights didn't even graduate. The girls are smart. Girls are smarter than boys. So it's a big day for the fights, for the fights family. And so is that what got the juices flowing? I guess.

Yeah. I guess I was on a college campus and really had that. You the juices flowing um i guess yeah i guess i was i was on a college campus and really had that you dialed it back because yeah like i it was uh yeah when i was struck with inspiration i like to write inspire less and less these days but um and it was uh i just i i sat down it was gonna be just a quick little bit about it i was gonna say i could imagine just being like all right i gotta pose this to post this. We'll get some clicks. And then, you know, about 2,000 words later, you're like, oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what it was.

And I was like, oh, shit, I'll do. I ended up, it was like after the graduation, before the graduation party, we had a lull in time. And I was like, oh, I'll post the vlog. I was going to post the vlog, too. But before I got the vlog, I wanted to get all that up. And it ended up being like two hours later, I texted you being like, I just posted this blog. I'll do the vlog now. And, and I can tell you, I think you went like off the grid to like get it done. Cause I think we were like mid conversation and then you stopped. And then when you were done, you joined back in and it was like

a couple hours worth of, of, of writing and performing. I mean, it was the eloquence and the way you were weaving the story in and out was just a pleasure, John. Wow. Thank you. Very nice. You got a little smile on me now. I think I said it. I mean, I believe it. I think it's your best blog ever.

Best blog in the sense of like, you know, when you're retelling a tale, you know, I mean, this was just. Those are the fun ones to write. I just stopped. I don't have the interest anymore in writing this funny video. I totally understand the need. I understand people who like it. There's some people who are so fucking good at it here.

I was never really that good at it. You're selling yourself short. I know that... Does this look like the face of type blogs? It's just like... I think we just did too many of them. Yeah. I mean, I've done it for 10 years. I just kind of got bored of it.

Like a hundred thousand of them. It's like, I'd rather I'll do, I'll, I'll have that same time. That's why I did the Facebook videos. It's like, those are Facebook videos are just what I usually would type out. I'm just doing them out loud because I now, now knowing that this is like pushing a new product i get like reinvigorated but this was sometimes you do need to just dial it back though go old school for the people who you know have been riding with you the longest by the way i still got it i still got it yeah if i still want to hit 95 on the fucking black i can do it baby it's so true like

i if there's ever i don't i don't think this is happening, but if there's ever anybody out there who's like, they can't blog anymore or like, oh, they, you know, they can't keep up, like, I'll flex on you right fucking now. There's a reason we started this shit, bro. I can fucking blog. Yeah. And that doesn't go away, man. I'll fucking blog circles around you right goddamn now.

But this, not only, you know, when you have the subject matter like this, it's. And that doesn't go away, man. I'll fucking blog circles around you right goddamn now. But this, not only, you know, when you have the subject matter like this, it's the blog rights itself. The difference, it's always been that way, too. The difference when you're inspired by, it doesn't have to be a topic, but when you, inspired sounds like such an artsy fucking lame word. No, it's true. When you want to do it. When you're feeling something, when you're feeling a story or whatever, the way it just pours off the fingers, man.

It's fucking, it's fun. It's fun. It's really fun to do. Yes. It's like, I imagine what it's like with a good athlete. Like I was writing that and like my mom was like setting up the party and there were times I had to get up. I was just laughing too loud. I was like getting up and like walking around like my living room table just being like, she's like, why are you writing over that?

Like the story when I got arrested. It's a three-year anniversary. She goes, you got arrested more than three years. Oh, that time. Yeah. That time. Yeah. It's great.

It really is like sports, though, because when you're talented at something, and we talked about how we're pretty much not talented across the board, but something like this, when the stars align and you're doing it and it's easy and it's fun, you realize how awesome it must be to be a pro athlete or a really good singer, where it's just like, I can do this. Even when I was growing up playing sports, it was never that fun for me because it was like I had to try. Like I wasn't, you know, I was like I was like the hustle guy on the basketball court because I wasn't just talented enough to be like, oh, yeah. Like I'm my jump shots fucking wet.

So, you know, everything is got to put effort into it. This is a level there with that, too, where I guess kind of like what I was just saying, like we kind of got bored bored yeah of it like yeah like steph curry hits 93s in a row you don't get bored after 45 yeah right why are you still having fun doing this right but i think he's having fun when he's putting up like fucking 50 and that's why that's why he started shooting from half court because he's like look that's too close that's not fair i'm gonna shoot from back here i'll go i'll go 40 feet right that's what my three's from i'll shoot it from the tunnel during warm-ups to like spice things up a little bit. So retelling the Brady 4 story

when you guys all went to jail for handcuffing yourself together at the NFL HQ to protest the Brady suspension. I mean, the pictures that came out of it, the content that came out of it, the memories that came out of it

just set you up so perfect to write this blog. And when you're just describing as you guys entered jail, I was the only jail veteran of the Brady Four. I had done a nightlong bid or two or three before this, but the New York City jail was a tad different than Newport. While we were getting booked, there was one gentleman already in the holding cell. He was old, donned in tattered clothes, certainly had fleas,

and was talking shit to the corner of the wall like it had just insulted his mother. I assume that last bit was on account of the drugs. Whatever con they were, they were good. Now this is when the thought of sales guy moving in. Sales guy was the first to be booked, so he was going to be the

first one in there alone with the man we would come to know as diaper boy and i will never forget the look of fear in his eyes i'd say i'd say men have faced certain death with more courage than gaz portrayed that afternoon i mean that is like of people, the snake of snakes, the guy who's always like riding, like getting, you know, weaseling his way through things. There was no card to play here. There was no way to weasel around this one. It was like, you're going in first. You're going in alone.

And diaper boy's waiting for you. He was looking at us like, almost like a kid, like when a mom drops their kid off at school for the first day. He's looking back at the car like, don't go. No, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't make me do this. Don't make, no, stop.

Don't make me do this. He was looking back at us so scared. Like, guys, step in here. What the fuck is that? Come on. I mean, so, you know, we all know the story, and there's a lot that came out of it. But, I mean, far and away for me, the funniest part of the Brady Force saga is Henny Easy. Henry Lockwood.

With what can only be described as a completely unnecessary move. Maybe not. Maybe that guy just really had to. But to take a shit in jail like 10 minutes into your night it was so early it was so fucking early i mean realistically like you can go like a whole day you can hold it in and not shit period i don't even think it was an emergency right just like you just wanted to i mean that's great like yeah if he had you know if you had the unfortunate timing of having like diarrhea when you also go to jail i mean god bless you you're you're in trouble but anything short of that you just kind of clench your cheeks

like until until you go home like right if you wanted me to right now like starting now i won't shit for 24 hours like if i really needed to put my mind to it, I just won't do it. Henny decided to take a dump in jail. I mean, the way you described that where Dave had to look over and be like. It wasn't looking over. It was like we all had our own cells at this point. So we walk in. We go to the left. There's these yellow cement brick walls we all have.

And it's not like in movies or law and order sometimes where you have a cell. It's like all bars. It's concrete walls and then bars in front. So it's all have it. It's not like in movies or Law and Order sometimes where you have a cell. It's like all bars. Yeah. It's you have concrete walls and then bars in front. Right. So it's all concrete walls. We're all – If you could get your head through, you could like poke out sort of thing.

Yeah, you could. So you can't see anything. You can't see anything. You can only see what's exactly in front of you. Right, right, right. From like 1130 to 130. Right. All you can see.

So you're really just going off of – And we're all like – I think the order went Gaz, Dave, me, Hank, and then we thought empty cells. Okay. So we're in there and it was kind of like staring outside the window, like pigeons landing on the window because it was like afternoon. You could see everything. It was...

Well, like I said, we got really... We punched the clock early on breaking the law. Yeah. We got up, we got out, we broke the law. It wasn't like most criminals are thought of as lazy folk who sleep into the afternoon. Not us. You guys were early risers.

Early bird gets the worm. So we're sitting in there and it was really fun. It was a fun shared experience we had. We're kind of just all shooting the shit. We're like, oh man, everyone's going crazy out there. Everyone's talking about the Brady 4 Media's got to be through the roof right now

Because we had an idea of how fast it popped off While we were sitting there We all had our phones at that point ESPN was talking about it People were losing their fucking minds out there I bet Kraft's going nuts We're going to be in the Patriot Hall of Fame Hank started pitching the database

Which we laughed at And it's like Giphy did Twitter has Yeah That's a legitimate business thing That Hank kind of had But the

We're all kind of just laughing And whatever And then Hank I feel like it would be less weird If Hank was like Guys I gotta shit He didn't say There was no pre

Statement There was no Nothing No warning at all. It was just in the middle of a conversation, and you hear a fart farted into a metal toilet. It's a pretty unmistakable sound. Almost like a coin flicking off tin, but also an eruption. I can't do it justice.

I don't know exactly what the noise was. Listen, there's only one way you can make that noise, and it's to fucking fart into a metal toilet. That's it. And, like, everyone stopped talking immediately. And Dave, like, inquisitively was like, Hank? And, I mean, he had to have kind of guessed. It was Hank. It wasn't, like like who's shitting

It was Hank If there's something going on It's gotta be Hennyzy Are you shitting? And Hank just kind of sheepishly is like Yeah I guess it wasn't sheepish It was more like

What are you talking about? What's the problem? Yeah And then again We thought we were all alone In this whole cell And then from like The end of like Almost like in the movies When you see like someone like in a pirate, like Pirates of the Caribbean, you get put in a cell and you think you're alone.

And all of a sudden there's a candle pops up in the corner. It's like from the other end you just hear, nigga, what? And we're like, I've been here three times this week. I never shit. We lost it, man. We fucking lost it. We died laughing. Dude had, Hank's been in jail for 15 minutes.

This guy, for all I fucking know, has been in jail since 76. And he's never shit once. And Hank was in there 15 minutes before going to fucking poop city. Just pops his pants down, takes his shit. And I was like, and then the best part of all that was later when we're exchanging cells, like later as the night wore on, more and more criminals were introduced. They'd woken up from their drug stupors or whatever. And like I said, the cops, I forget how much we raised for that charity.

Yeah, I think it was about $1.50. Yeah, I think it was around $150,000 we raised. And so the cops knew who we were. And I think, I might misremember this, but I think that station actually had the check sitting on their desk. Oh, wow. Like they had it. They had $150,000 from Barstool Sports. Yeah.

And it was, we were there in the flesh. They clapped when we walked in. They knew who we were. They were looking out for us all night. They were looking out for us all night. I'm sure the other criminals love that. They were giving... Well, they didn't really know. They would shuffle us

almost like street hustlers, moving around like, where is this? Where is this? Try and find the pussies. Try and find the pussies. You came out. I walk into Almost like street hustlers. Like moving around. Like, where is this? Where is this? Try and find the pussies. Try and find the pussies. You came out. Hide the white boys. Hide the white boys. And so I walk into Hank's cell.

Because as the night wore on, when criminals come in, real estate gets slim. And they kind of started pairing us up. I walk into Hank's fucking cell. This is how Hank's chilling. In jail. He's got his shirt off. Chilling on the back. He's got his shirt off, chilling on the back. He's got his foot in a toilet!

The toilet he just shit in! Hank is just shirtless, shoes off. I'm giving him the benefit. Sitting on the floor? No, there's a bench next to the toilet. Bench, feet up on the toilet, shirtless. He's on the bench. I don't chill at the beach as comfortable as Hank was. He was just

couldn't have a care in the fucking world he's got he's just and again i'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and saying there was a sock on i don't know he might have been sockless i forget barefoot just chilling out like this on a toilet that he just shitted like i don't know if he'd ordered germs thank hank might not know not not h Hank may not have known what germs were at that percentage. He might be still on night. I mean, like, there's still every chance that Henny's, he didn't even, still to this day does not understand why it would be funny to take a shit 10 minutes in and why it was ridiculous to put your feet in the fucking

toilet in jail. I mean, out of everything that came out of that, all the rundowns, all the publicity, the shirts, the name, the Brady Four, all of it, knowing that Hank is the type of guy to poop 10, 15 minutes into a jail stint, I don't know what that says about you as a man, but it says something. Whether it's good, bad, crazy, tough, scary,

whatever it may be. It's a little bit of everything. Yeah. It's a little bit of everything. Yeah. It's a real mixed bag. It's a wild card move. Yeah. It's so unreasonable and so unpredictable.

He's wild card, bitches. I mean, that's the only way to possibly describe it. I've done that before. I need to be, I've said it a million times, I need to be alone. I couldn't have shit in that jail cell if I wanted to. If I was in jail, I might never poop. It would have been a disaster. I don't know what I would have done.

But Hank is the exact opposite. It takes a special sort of, like, I don't give a fuck. And I like to think that's the kind of person I am. But not with poop. Not with pooping. Not with poop. Your dick is out. You're pooping. Dude, I was home a couple weeks ago, and I was staying at a girl's house.

And she had to go to work. And I was supposed to go meet a friend. And I just had to put – I was just texting my updates the whole time. I'm like, dude, I don't know why the fuck she's still here. She needs to go to work. She was supposed to go to work right now. I don't know if we were waiting each other out on it. I'm just slowly getting dressed. I was like, hey, you're late for work.

She's like, no, I know, whatever. I'm like, no, not whatever. You need to go so I can poop. I need this apartment to myself to poop. You got to get the hell out of here. Never mind. And that's just like with a girl I know very well. Right.

Not in jail. With other criminals, not with Diaper Boy. I mean. I'm the Diaper Boy. I'm the Diaper Boy. I'm the diaper boy. I'm the diaper boy. I'm covered in rashes. Like, yo, that's exactly how he did it. I mean, and it went like it went on and on.

It was just one thing. It's just like, I'm the diaper boy. Hank, when we get the I described Gaz's face, where he's like, you know, a baby being introduced to the water. Yeah, just like a new environment. He doesn't understand, but he knows like You know a baby Being introduced to the water Yeah Just like a new environment He doesn't understand But he knows it probably Has a chance to kill him And like

Hank the next morning When they're Everyone The whole Everyone in the cell Not just The Barstool The Brady Foley

Everyone Pours out into the hallway And they come by With a chain gang Not with your feet With everyone's on Everyone's handcuffed like that Yeah

But you all You share one with another guy It's a handcuffed like that yeah but you all you share one with other guys a long row probably about eight of you four on each side and i was in front of hank and i i don't know who i was with some random stranger but hank was with the diaper boy and hank like give surrendering his hand was like it was like he was the strongest man in the world like you can't make me get my hand next to the fucking diaper boys eventually he did he did i was gonna say he acquiesced yeah i mean uh short of of of him singing like i'm a rapist and i'm going to rape you like the last

thing i want to hear from someone i'm sharing a jail cell with is I'm the diaper boy and I'm covered in rashes. And that is pretty much worst case scenario from, for your possible jail cell buddy, the diaper boy, boy, what a tale, man. And that's, we're going to try to do a lot more of that type of stuff.

Um, we know, we know how much people love the, but to look behind the curtain of barstool happenings. So, uh, I've, I've recently done Behind the Blog.

First episode was with Roan. You can find that on the KFC Radio YouTube, where we just went behind the scenes with Roan's whole life and how he ended up at Barstool and his career as a battle rapper. I just filmed part one with Francis last week at Stand Up New York, a comedy club on the Upper West Side. So that will be out tomorrow.

Tomorrow, part one of me and Francis just telling his whole behind the scenes story. I say part one because we got 45 minutes in and we hadn't even really touched upon his actual content. We were just talking about his upbringing and kind of clearing the air on

some of the misconceptions about him. Harvard guy, rich boy, all that type of stuff and kind of how he handled his come up at Barstool and dealing with a little bit of fame and all that kind of stuff that we are all thrust into with Barstool.

So be on the lookout for that. But we want to do things like this, the Brady Four. We teased it. We did it once kind of impromptu after Avicii died. We covered the Blackout Tour, but that was for like a quickie. And that deserves its own series. So we plan on doing Beyond the Blackout, where we're going to talk to all the guys involved with that tour.

So we got the vlog going. And basically what we're doing is really just trying to tackle YouTube for Barstool. If you saw my post this weekend, right after Fights posted his Brady 4 blog, I posted the latest KC Radio vlog. It was when we did Out of Office. We went to eat the golden wings. But I kind of, if you want to read it, it's up on the blog where I kind of just explain what we're trying to do here at Barstool and that's tackle YouTube, which is something we haven't done. And I know people keep making fun of me. Oh, really?

YouTube, what is this new thing you figured out? Well, the reality is pretty much all the powers that be did not, don't like YouTube. And so it's kind of a struggle to convince them that we convince them that, you know, we should be on YouTube and we should be dominating video content the way that we dominated written word and the way we dominated podcasting. So, um, everything is now going on the barstool YouTube page. So subscribe to the barstool sports YouTube page, which is,

um, appropriately named. It's the bro show. Yo, literally, if you go to like youtube.com slash barstool sports, it doesn't work. which is appropriately named It's the Bro Show Yo. Ay, caramba. Literally, if you go to youtube.com slash barstool sports, it doesn't work. You go to youtube.com slash

It's the Bro Show Yo. It does. If you just search on YouTube for Barstool Sports, it's easy to find. Correct, but I'm just saying, if someone ever said, what's the URL? I need to get directly to it. You can't do slash Barstool Sports. You have to do slash what's the url like i need to like get directly to it yeah you can't do slash barstool sports you have to do slash it's the bro show yo jesus christ and i guess

you can't change that that's like locked in i i feel like you should but i don't know it might be one of those things uh like how we can't get barstool.com you know like somebody might have it right and we might just be able to get it but we might also just be able to change it i know i don't think i think i've like asked Sean to do that before and he's like, I've done that and it doesn't work. I don't know. Either way, YouTube.com slash KFC Radio works.

It can be done. Maybe all the things should go on there. No, no, no. We're doing it with Barstool Sports and we should probably do some video recreation of the Brady Four because weaving the rundowns into it would be so funny. Like, you retelling that story and then cutting to some of the video content,

the news reports, the rundowns, that would be an all-timer. So check it all out. That's what we're doing with the behind-the-scenes look at everything. But right now, it's time for our voicemails. They're brought to you by Dollar Shave Club. Dollar Shave Club, it's not just about the razors. They got everything you need as a man. You know, as a man in the 21st century.

You know, you got to take care of your appearance. You got to put some effort into looking good because, as we all know, when you look good, you got to take care of your appearance. You got to put some effort into looking good because as we all know, when you look good, you feel good. I should probably be doing that. And then you play good. Oh, really? You want to do it? Go ahead.

We'll see how good you are doing at reads. Well, I'm just, you know what? I probably won't. I won't do it because there's no video aspect of it as the handsome one. It's like really, it's really more. Well, you know what it is? You know, as the handsome one.

We should have the dumb one. Go ahead and read from the paper on the audio product. As the handsome one, I almost feel bad using the Dollar Shave Club products because it's just like, I mean, it's like sand to the beach. You know, I just feel like I'm running up the score at this point, making myself look even better. I mean, come on. It's everything from shampoo and conditioner, which fights doesn't even fuck with that one.

The body wash, toothpaste, hair gel, wipes to make your butt feel good. I bet Hank wish he had some one-wife Charlies when he was in prison. And so you'll smell better. Your skin will look better and feel better, and it's everything that you need to be sharp as a man nowadays. So go to dollarshaveclub.com and use the promo code KFC. They switched that up. It used to be a URL for like five years, and then they changed it.

So it's dollarshaveclub.com. Use the code KFC, and you will get $5 off your second month. So when you sign up, you get your first month, and then when you use that code, your second month will be $5 off, and you can get all of the amazing things I discussed in the Daily Essentials starter kit, the cleanser, the Charlies, and the shave butter along with your razors. DollarShaveClub.com. Code KFC. We put out the list of voicemails. What was decided upon by the public? The democracy. It was pretty evenly split here, which means I didn't check.

I don't know which ones people voted for, but they're all pretty good, so we're going to just start off. You know what? you could have just been like number four was the most popular i respect the honesty yeah finalberg right now is wearing his 400 hat and so he cannot put his headphones around the top of the hat so he has them under his chin and he's holding them and i almost feel like i mentioned over the weekend when people were doing photoshops that like this is kind of like a run DMC hat.

I also feel like I can picture like an entertainer in like the studio the way you're doing it. Oh, yeah. Put the hat on. I'll roll with that. Upside down being like. Yeah. Yeah. Sure.

I'm almost actually envisioning more like remember that thing in the 80s like we are the world. I can just see you next to like Springsteen and Bob Dylan right now. We are the world! I don't know if you're trying to insult me. No, I'm not. Oh, okay, word. No, I'm not. I mean, I'm insulting you because you're a fool for wearing a $400 hat.

But the hat looks good. The hat is certainly one of those things that, like, if you just commit to it and you wear it like more than once, you're good. You know, it's almost like like it's wearing on you. I like to make fun of you, but I never thought it was as bad as most most of the general public. Most everybody's reaction has kind of been like, oh, wow, you're an asshole. But I have it twice today. So you walked by when I was on the phone just outside earlier. Yeah.

And someone tapped me on the shoulder. Little Asian guy. Kind of looked like Cisco. Had bleached hair. Jean vest. He goes, oh, man, nice hat. Wow. Just an unsolicited, like.

Yep. And that happened walking to work today, too. Someone, a black gentleman walking a pitbull. One of the pitbulls that you keep on a fucking chain. Yeah. Not a leaf. A metal chain yeah that's literally not even a leash that was like just chain that they like put a circle around

like a loop around put it on a dog's neck and it was like he was like he goes hey bro nice hat i'll be honest i was like both times i can't tell they're being sarcastic or not no i think you're good yeah i i i mean a black fellow with a pitbull is about as much. And an Asian gentleman with bleach blonde hair. Those are two fashionable young men. Those are street cred through the roof. Yeah. You know, like that Asian kid has like, you know, he's on top of every drop ever anywhere.

And the black guy with the pitbull is just like, that guy knows swag. Yeah. It was like, it was like Jin Yang. Not Jin Yang. Who's the guy who looks like cisco and rush hour jintao jintao and and uh dmx both in my house nice thing kfc fight super producer first time long time so i have an infinity wars would you rather we all know than Thanos is trying to kill half the universe, right? Well, if you could choose, would you rather have Thanos kill all the people who are more attractive than you, making you the most attractive person on Earth with the remaining ugly people,

or kill all the ugly people, leaving you the ugliest person on earth with all the attractive people keep in mind that if you choose the attractive people that wipes out all the existing horns those people are in thanks viva first of all boy oh boy that's a great question great question one of the better ones in a while first of all having seen avengers now i mean you have got to be team thanos of course yeah no no I'm always Team Apocalypse. I'm Team Genocide, yeah, all the time. Hitler's the only one I don't like him.

Everybody else, I'm cool. I wasn't so much of a Pol Pot guy either. Stalin was rough. I guess I just like the idea of genocide. In practice, it's not much for me. Girl, you don't really want a boyfriend. You just like the idea of a boyfriend.

I don't really want to commit genocide. It's like the idea of genocide. And Stalin, he had a great head of hair. So if I was going to side with anybody, it probably would have been him. But no, I can't do anyone. And no existing genocide committers

do I like. No. Like in Inferno with Tom Hanks. Opening 10 minutes of that movie, I was like, this guy's making a lot of sense, folks. Just argue the opposite. Somebody offer me a counter argument, say white beyond half the population.

I felt like I was full-blown I felt so guilty not being there with you for Thanos. I was like full blown. Like I felt so guilty not being there with you for Thanos. I was like, this is I got I got to have my buddy. I was distracted a lot during Infinity War. I kept being like, who the hell is this? I can't tell. And it was Josh Brolin.

Oh, yeah. I know. I know. I know who this is. Yeah. I can't figure it out. He does a great, great job as a genocidal leader of the world. So the question is

would you rather have Thanos wipe out all of the good looking or half all it's half the population so that it would be all of the good looking people. What he's saying is we're smack in the middle. We're 50-50 people. Okay. But I don't understand. I guess though if you consider yourself like an 8

or a 9 it's still it's not necessarily half. Yeah but just because I consider myself still, it's not necessarily half. Yeah. But just cause I consider myself an eight doesn't mean I am. Well, uh, I mean, I am the handsome one. And so I am an eight.

I think of myself as what I am. Uh, I, I don't understand why you would kill all of the pretty people. Talk me through this. Yeah. Well, then you're the hottest right person. Talk me through this here. Then you're the hottest

person. That seems like the answer. Yeah, I meant the opposite then. I think I want to become the hot person, but I guess then you're just left with the uglies is the point. Now I'm understanding the conundrum behind it. But if it's, you know, it's one of those things where

I think the porn aspect he had at the end, which I didn't think of, I think that's a big one. I think I'm going to start jerking off to people who look like me. Not great. Not great. But you would be king of the jungle. Like in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. In the land of the uglies, the mediocre are fucking rock stars.

Yeah. So you wouldn't even need the porn because you would be the – You'd be fucking all the time. Yeah. Now listen, you still – you always need the porn. Come on. But I'm saying it wouldn't be that devastating to you because if it was – you would just go out and be like DiCaprio this shit and have sex with everybody. I mean –

And I also think that there are benefits to just people – because it's not like you're only left with twos. There are people who are as attractive as me. Right. As you say, everyone who's on my level is still around, but now we're just like considered the best and also like people on my level like while now I might not look at you very much because I don't think a bunch of myself but the

you kind of get the work hot aspect like you're who I see every day you're like you're smoking hot now. The close quarter syndrome. If I'm a 10, then everyone will slowly creep up to me, I think. I feel you.

Your definition and your standards just shift. What is the benefit then of killing all the ugly people? Yeah. Of becoming the ugliest? I guess that you get to look at beautiful people all the ugly people yeah of becoming the ugliest i guess that they usually get to look at beautiful people all the time and and potentially fuck some of them sometimes yeah but that's the thing it's like you're not it's just like right now when you like scroll instagram it's just like

fuck these people are so much hotter than me if that was just all that existed well how about this don't you think everybody else loses a little bit too like so that girl that's a little bit hotter than you now she's also near the bottom of the barrel because there's no other uglier people she's she's she's usually better than 80 of the population well she's now bottom 10 this reminds me of going to college like there were girls that i went to high school with who were like i mean these are the prettiest girls i've ever seen in my life. And then you get to college and, you know, or you see other, you see Arizona state girls or something like that. And it's like, oh, you were just a big fish in a small pond. So then those girls kind of become like more

attainable. It's almost like if you came back from on college break, winter break, you know, the girl from high school that maybe you were afraid to even talk to after a semester of college you might be like yeah what's up girl you want to hang out so you would you would get that benefit if you killed all all the uglies because then now now the new standard of ugly is that girl who was like a seven so you there's there is some benefit there but i think becoming the hottest is because again like and we've talked about this before like sometimes you didn't hook up with a girl because of like what your buddies would say type of thing you know what i mean like it's not that i i i was so literally physically like turned off by someone's being by someone not being hot it was that i was like oh my buddy's gonna make fun of

me but i would have i would have fucked that girl i would have hooked up with that girl i would have had fun with that girl so now if that's all that's there if all that's left it's like you gotta think you're probably only fine able to achieve what's in your realm anyway it's like do you want to keep emrata around so that like maybe you can hook up with her no chance and like i don't like all pretty girls on instagram i'm in the process of doing that i'm right i'm in the process of getting rid of all the girls who were just gta yeah that's that's what i did and especially because i went through a weird phenomenon where uh we've all seen like uh when this happened with

local smoke shows too we're like all of a sudden they're married and then all of a sudden they have kids and it's like, damn, we used to be like, you were like 18 and we were like putting you up as a smoke show and now you're got a wife and kids and that's weird as shit. But like this girl I was following the other day, she became a real estate salesperson in Miami and all of a sudden her Instagram, I was like, why do I have this girl on my feed? It was like, why is it just apartments in Miami?

What's going on here? I definitely would not follow this. And it's just like some fucking hot ass, like fake butt Instagram girl who finally just had to go real. She went straight and had a real career. I was like, unfollowed, get out of here. No, I did that probably a couple months ago.

And it's been purged. Because then you can actually use Instagram. Yeah, and I only care about following my friends on instagram i don't fucking care about like celebrities or things like that like i just want to follow my friends right and they so i never used instagram before that's why i use it more now i use the swipe up this like i'm on instagram works i care about the pictures i'm seeing follow i don't really care about seeing fat butts i mean not ones i can't fuck i was gonna say i mean i i kept a couple around i unfollowed almost everybody but summer ray it's like i kept around i don't need it yeah i kept summer ray obviously jesus christ and uh but like don't unfollow greatness

but like i don't like i i used to open it and just be like 70 girls in bikinis yeah i don't care that's that's also the problem with like the world i'm still batting a thousand on like never opening a smoke show out gallery i did that's just never the reason i went to barstool early days i would it's not the reason i went but i've made plenty of smoke show gallery. That's never the reason I went to Barstool. Early days, it's not the reason I went. I've made plenty of smoke show galleries. I've never been. I don't have a lot of desire to see a girl in a bikini.

It doesn't really do it for me. I don't walk around the beach being like, oh shit. I just gotta walk around and look at girls. I'm over here at the beach. I'm enjoying the water. I'm on Barstool looking at funny stuff. Look at my hat. I'm so cool water. I'm on bar. So look at funny stuff. Look at my hat. Look at my hat.

I'm like, I'm so cool and gay. How about guys who get caught liking like thong pics? Oh yeah. And you're also like double tap for the heart. Like why, why would you do that? I don't know.

Yeah. I, I, I, I like, uh, like, uh,

the Fleischman salon type of stuff. I feel like I like things that it's like, all right, you know, I need to like acknowledge that I'm watching something or I appreciate what you're doing. Uh, like to just be like,

great, but no way, no fucking way. I actually, uh, I, um, I opened up Asa's page the other day and she put a picture up that was just a

screenshot of a video. So it had the play button. So I like pushed it and it didn't play. And I like, I was like, I thought my phone was just was just fucking and it so it did like the double tap like i was like it's just awesome so no big deal but somebody else i was like oh that's a dirty move that's fucked up was a little bit jerk off instruction video um she likes to put those um probably it was it was probably that shout out to Asa she had Lexington Steel on the Pornhub podcast

the other day that's quite the interview just talking about that how many guys do you think he's fucked how many girls do you think he's fucked

how many guys too he's probably got a handful of those he's like Creed I think it was the 60s who knows what was slipping into what hole the thing is

that's not just casually slipping anywhere you know where that's going at all times anyway the so I think the answer is you become the hottest by killing all the other hot people. But boy, that's a great question.

You can get philosophical on that one for sure. Let's keep it nerdy. Talk nerdy to me. Hey, KFC, Super Producer BC. Just a quick question for you guys. If you could have only one of the

infinity stones from Avengers Infinity War which one would you have and how would you use it thanks bye Brendan okay so we got wait let me see if I can remember them time reality

soul power Yeah, wait, let me see if I can remember them. Time, reality, soul, power. Space. Space. I thought there was only five. There's six? Yeah. All right.

What are we missing? Time, reality, soul, power, space. Hate. Is there a hate stone? That would be me. I got to look it up. up boy just when you thought that your producer was not hard for me he couldn't even rattle off the the stones you know you know right off the top what you want so it depends what mind that one's a little vague like what does that really mean can you like control minds with that break break me down what they all mean i think this one's pretty easy for me time you can rewind time travel uh reality is like you can just like make whatever like you're

gonna reality is weird reality is like tough to have because it's like you can do too much yeah with it like thanos just makes makes like gamora think that like something else is happening when he killed her yeah yeah right um power is his power mind is what i guess like the practical thing would be to just read minds like you know in the comics it's just like you know what's going on in every single mind everywhere all the time no soul soul so the soul's out you can't take the soul soul is like a lot of people think that's when you die like that's why people are you can they're going to be able to get around any deaths in the movies because you're like in the soul stone they can like still unrelieve some why what do you so what are you thinking time you want to be able to time travel time yeah and like i don't even mean like long time travel but like just

like the kind like oh i fucked up how thomas used it like you know i said the wrong thing yeah 30 seconds ago that would be great now. That one I would be rewinding. That's like DVR for life. Like, I was doing this. I was watching Evil Genius. Be on the lookout for our quickie on it later this week and a brand new episode of the rebooted binge. But I was big time, like, press play.

I'm watching. I started tweeting. Then I came back to it, realized I missed something. Rewind. By the time I pressed play, I was back to it realized i missed something rewind by the time i pressed play i was back to my twitter it's rewind play rewind play i mean that's that would be my life with the time stone where it would just be like oh shit i shouldn't have said that rewind then my like what i should have said i also fuck up again like oh man plan b wasn't even right rewind plan c let's go and that would be invaluable to me. But I think the reality stone trumps even that. Nah.

Because reality stone, first of all, you know you're not in reality. You know that. They don't. Yeah, but how would you use it? Practically use the reality stone on me right now. Like if you're supposed to be somewhere, you're not. I feel like you can or like like i feel like i could use the reality stone to to make me be somewhere that i'm not really like while i'm going and doing whatever whatever else i want i could have the reality

stone to have me be at work when i'm not really at work the problem i think with the reality stone is it's too too powerful because you could be like okay we we just have the number one podcast that's it and you're like what do you what do you want but we don't it's only reality to us no it's all it's reality to them yeah it's like you control okay but you still don't but we still know we don't actually right and then it's just like well what do you want that for to have all the money in the world okay you can just have all the money in the world what do you want that for to get the hottest girls okay you just have all that like i mean i'm sure it would be interesting to enjoy but you literally like there's no i don't think there's no restrictions i think it would be i think it would be interesting to enjoy, but there's no restrictions.

I think it would bother me. What, knowing that it's not real? Yeah, I would feel like I'm in virtual reality. What, like you want to earn it? No, but it's like playing video games. I can do it in video games. Yeah, look at me. I built the Age of Empires.

You just control everything. I know this isn't really happening. Right, but you're still tangibly doing it. It's not like you're just playing a video game. But Thanos didn't tangibly die. I'm saying that if you wanted, like he said, to have all the money in the world, you would have the money in the world.

In your reality, you would have it. If you want to hook up with a girl, you are hooking up with a girl. It's not just like a video game. It's actually occurring. I guess. maybe it's just too confusing for me like i just because you're the dumb one i don't because you're the dumb one no the time one is just very like it's it's very like yes like you know exactly what to use it for just rewind time yeah or travel you can go in the future right yeah well i don't know if you can go well you

probably can go to the future it's like this sucks Dr. Strange definitely he saw the future right that's true he saw the future and he saw all possible futures this is so nerdy 15 million of them and they won one yeah yeah I mean I can get down with the idea

that the time is the most useful of because especially for guys like us who fuck up all the time is the most useful of. Because especially for guys like us who fuck up all the time. Yeah. It's like, redo it. I just think the reality thing, you'd just be sitting there

and you'd be like, I think it'd be one thing where it'd be fun for a while and eventually I think it would weigh on you like this isn't actually happening. I'm not living this life. Yeah, I guess so. It would definitely be fun

for like a month, a year or something like that and eventually you'd be like, I'm tired of playing video games. I think I would just, again, use it more though. Like, I guess, I don't know if you can use it this way, but like I said, like you make other people see a reality that's not really happening. So basically like I can go be doing whatever I want because I'm using the reality stone

to make it look like I'm there. You know, it's like no, all of your responsibilities that you don't like, you don't have to worry about because the reality. But then that's my whole life. And then i just sit at home and like and then that gets boring though that's one of those things it's a power that it's a power that's too powerful that eventually you kind of just get sad over it where you're like i just i never want to do anything ever and so i just don't i'll give it a try i'll i try. I'll let that sadness creep in. Let's see.

Here from the ladies. KFC, site, stupid producer BC. Listen, I need to get your take on Tom during making out. I tried to record it earlier, but I just got so fired up I couldn't talk. So here's take two. Basically, I broke up with my boyfriend a while ago, I'm out at bars, I'm meeting guys, going on dates, meeting guys, making out, and I swear to God, if one more of these two sticks their tongue down my throat, I'm gonna lose it. Like, I thought this was something that we just left back in high school, like, doing the ABC with your tongue. I believe there's a time and place for everything,

and I believe that that can be applied to Trump. You know, like, when shit's getting all hot and you're getting into it, yeah, dab a little tongue in here. Certainly fine. But when you're just, like, making out with someone at the bar and you're sticking your tongue down their throat like I'm a baby bird, like, what's supposed to be? It's not about that. So basically what I'm bird? Like, what's supposed to be fun about that? So

basically what I'm saying here is what's your take on tongue? Where do you stand? And why in God's good name are we just not knowing what to do with it? Anyway, let me know. Peace. Tongues. Tonguing them down.

There's for sure too much tongue is a definite a definite thing i think it's always better to err on the side of not enough tongue you know yes uh than too much tongue so and i and i i don't know i mean this girl's kind of i i'm getting the vibe that she thinks this is like a guy thing like why are guys always tonguing me down too much but i've i've encountered it with girls i feel like it's probably some guys and some girls stinky kissing yeah i don't think myself on the back too often but kevin i am just a great kisser i mean you're probably a great kisser but you're clearly like second place because i am a phenomenal kisser because you

know what i did i i practiced on everything in sight. I was just putting my mouth on all sorts of things. That doesn't count. You can't practice on anything. Kissing is like the whispering wall. You can't have some plan going into it. You can't practice on an inanimate object. You gotta fucking...

It's like a jousting match. You gotta play with your opponent. You gotta figure out what they're doing. You gotta fucking respond. read their body language. Read their tongue language. Yeah, but you could be ready with the joust and your horse and your armor and shit and be prepared for what's about to go down. And that was me just tonguing down all sorts of shit everywhere I looked.

Anything that kind of had that bottle right there, I'll stick my tongue in that thing. What does that do? Gets you fucking ready to put your tongue in things. Tell you what, gets that tongue worked out. That's like an eating out practice. Yeah, I didn't know it at the time, but I was practicing eating butts. It was like that little bottle hole right there. I'm going to lick that thing.

I don't know why, but maybe it'll come in handy in about 10 years. Oh, look at that. It's like Costanza with the Frogger. I can do this. I know how to do this. I would never. I don't do much bar making out these days, but I don't think in all my bar making out I have ever used tongue.

You've ever used tongue? Well, yeah, I'm sure like Spring Break or some shit like that. But like. You never had like just make out in a bar where you're like French kissing? I guess I mean like. Frencher? tongue well yeah i'm sure like spring break or some shit like that but like um i never you never had like just a make out in a bar where you're like i guess i mean like a frencher yeah but i mean like not with someone who like i was like on a date with or something like that like like yeah i've been wasted a bar i'm sure i've done it yeah but like if i'm like of sound body sound body and mind and like i'm aware of my surroundings like i'm not doing that i have to be blackout

drunk i i think that there's there's like the makeout is that there's kind of like the waves of it you know what i mean like i think if you like if you kiss a girl and you like slip it in it's it's if you like stay in there for like the regroup you know what i mean it's like there's the kiss and then if you kind of like do a head turn or readjust and you're still kissing you kind of like it's almost like you're you're fucking you're gassing each other up yeah like black people dancing like hey hey hey oh we're going oh we're going right if there's the like build up make out where it's like all right there's that first like lip lock and there's a little bit of tongue but then i'm going to turn my head this way, and we're going to open a little bit wider,

we're going to do this. The body gets a little closer. That's for, like, you know, home. That's like where you're making up. Yeah, right. That's where you go, like, you stop and let's get out of here. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's get the fuck out of here. Right. But my point being, though, that, like, but the first level of that where there's, like, a kiss with some tongue, I'll do that. Just a little bit. Just a little slip like a very very just a little slip of the tongue and i'll let you know i'll probably play off you on that one too right

i'm like a like a like a bad basketball team where i got play up or down to my opponent's level so like it depends where you're at and then like i'll if you're slipping tongue and then i'll go in but like i'm good just like a quick like kiss or two and that's it this will be is are we filming this will be a funny video we're both like as we're trying to talk uh but i feel like the girl will often be uh playing off your lead and then what results is one of those movie kisses where they just have open mouths and no tongue which has got to be the weirdest thing in the world to do that i mean that's just like as strange as it gets where you're just like it's like it looks like i would have in my god

our tongues chopped out i would be like hey we're just gonna use tongue like we're too attractive movie stars oh yeah absolutely we used to call them uh in my house uh we used to call wedding kisses like like if there was a real like out, like, ew, wedding kiss, ew, because the only time we would see that is bride and groom are making out, tonguing down at the altar. Yeah, but even at the altar, I think you do a little...

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Slip it in, a little like lizard. All right, last voicemail of the day is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. You start in a business, you already got a business, an existing business, then you need to fill the right job

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This is Kevin from Chicago. I've recently been re-watching Entourage. Entourage. I've been wondering, what HBO original character would you want to switch lives with? I'm thinking either Vinny Chase from Entourage, Khaleesi from Game of Thrones, or the man in black from Westworld. Now, the kicker is you have to factor in everything you know about that character when you're switching lives with them. So, like, Khaleesi, you've got to

take it from Khal Drogo to get your dragons. Vinny Chase, you have an awesome life, but you have your drug problems at the end of the series. And the man in black, Westworld, he pretty much lives in the park, but now the robots can kill him.

I think my wild card and best answer here is turtle. You're fat at the beginning of the series, but you pretty much have a sick life. What do you guys think? I mean, by the way, I would not want to be the man in black. No. That's a pretty dreary existence. Yeah, I'm pretty sure his wife killed herself too.

Because you understand everything about Westworld. Yeah. They didn't make it very clear. At the end of this recent episode, he's running up the stairs. There's a hand over a bathtub. His daughter's not dead because she's revealed at the end of the episode. So I'm guessing that was his wife. I think it's pretty sound to put that together. I didn't know that. If everyone else is totally lost on that, I'm guessing that was his wife. I think it's pretty sound to put that together.

I didn't know that. If everyone else is totally lost on that, I'm sorry. This episode of Westworld is pretty fucking straightforward. And BuzzFeed again tweeted out today like, it's so confusing. This was as straightforward as it gets this episode. I didn't watch. I haven't watched the past few weeks because the show is too confusing. Dumb one.

I didn't know. I guess I don't think I don't know if I ever like finished Ent one. I didn't know, I guess, I don't know if I ever finished Entourage. I didn't know Vinny Chase had a drug problem. I mean, he fucking likes some coke. Okay, because I was going to say, I think Vinny Chase is the answer.

He likes to do some cocaine. Wouldn't Vin be the answer then? Yeah. Yeah, Vin was the easy answer. I mean, that show was a caricature of how awesome the life, you know, they tried to make that life look so so awesome

on purpose so i think that's the life you want to live yeah he vinny vinny's big big problem was he'd like to do coke with sasha gray i'll navigate that those are the pitfalls i'll figure it out okay that ain't that that's not deterring me right i mean i'm trying to just think of other shows uh he he was doing coke uh sasha gray's asshole and then having sex with it that was his that was the downside to me that sounds like a good pitch to me that is that could be the height i'm in i'll do i'll do that yeah that's that's somehow all all come all at once the best and the worst it's like the most dangerous and the best part best hbo shows ever i'm googling now uh uh game of thrones uh there's no one in thrones i'd really there's people i'd like i don't have much interest in being calise

she's had a tough i mean the problem is like none of those lives are like enjoyable they're all like dangerous and hard yeah same thing with sopranos yeah so we got the wire no i'm not trying to do that sopranos uh game of thrones silicon valley would you want to be one of those guys is there a billionaire in there that you would want to be like gavin belson i guess i could take my personality like it'd be pretty cool be gavin belson where i'm just fucking loaded rich curb uh yeah i'd love to be larry david but that's that's based on reality i mean i also i mean yeah i wouldn't like love to be larry david yeah that's true you know just like so neurotic like everything so i i get it i mean a very real level without the money i am larry david right i

do get that i mean it's like i guess i'd like the ability to tell people like you're fucking annoying yeah i'm just i play everything so nice yeah like like when he's hired as a social assassin yes like i'd like to be a social oh a social assassin i just sit there but you're not i mean i'm not picking that over vinny chase no no no but there are so many times in this office where i'm just like i wish i could just be like yo shut the fuck up you know that joke wasn't funny yeah you don't need to repeat it for the fourth time you don't need to say it that much louder everyone is like everyone in this office is always like trying to compete and be funny and it's like i'm always i'm going to assassinate you i can hear it i'm like oh compete and be funny. And it's like, I'm always like, I can hear it.

I'm like, oh, my God, you're so annoying. It's not funny. We heard it. Like if I like Larry David does that when his his assistant is talking about his his rectal problem, his rectal itch. And he's like, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Like, I'd love to be able to do that. I've never said you almost get like a passive in a way where

it's just like yeah that's just what he does yeah how to make it america was a great one but they never really made it big the leftovers now i mean you know you could fulfill yeah you could fulfill your darkness for sure on the leftovers uh one of the people that got erased from the leftovers there you go if you're gonna be one of the raptured, sign me up. Boardwalk Empire is not a show that I watch, but I bet it'd be pretty cool to be Nucky, whatever, Nucky Thompson. Yeah.

That's pretty, like, he was just like a, he dominated. Deadwood is another one where it's like, I wouldn't want to be it. I've got to watch that. I've got to watch Deadwood. I didn't finish it. I've got to watch Deadwood. The first few seasons of Deadwood.

Let's announce it right now. Let's say that we're going to do that binge thing. What? If we're going to watch these shows. Oh, the 96 hours? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we're going to try to break the world record for most consecutive hours watched of television. The first few seasons of Deadwood are

really, really good. Oh, you've seen those? Okay, so we'll watch them. I mean, I would watch them again. I kind of fell off, but I would gladly re-watch that again, because that shit is fire. And that's one of those where it's like, I don't, but I would gladly like rewatch that again. Cause that shit is fire. And that's one of those where it's like, I don't know if I would say I'd switch with them, but like it's the,

it's the old West. Like anything goes, you know, like you can murder people and drink and just, but it's not, I'm soft. What is the record? It's like a hundred hours.

No, 96, 96 hours. And you get 20 minutes of, of break time banked every two hours. So you can take 20 minutes or you can stack them. So like you do it for, you know, 10 hours in a row and you've got yourself like, you know, an hour or whatever of break time. It's like.

That's pretty good to not sleep for 96 hours, though. Well, that's the problem. I think we need to do drugs. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This is gonna be official Guinness World Records. Like I'm like, go to the bathroom. Yeah. I mean,. This isn't going to be official Guinness World Records. I'm going to go to the bathroom. Yeah, I mean,

I don't know how. I don't know. It's like physically impossible to not go to sleep, to not not go to sleep. You know what I mean? Nah, you can do it. 96?

I mean, it's definitely possible. Natural? Yeah. I think I remember back in my Psych 101 class that around that time, around three days

of staying upright, that's when you start to... Hallucinate? Hallucinate, yeah. I was going to say hypothesize, but that's not it. That'd be funny if like for a couple days in

and we're just like, eh. True Detective, maybe it'd be Russ Cole. Again, like I love Russ Cole as a character, not as something I really want. Yeah, I mean, listen,

I'm looking through all of them here. Veep, Oz, True Blood you know he's down and down like there's some ones you could pick some things out but nothing is going to come close to the life of entourage it just again it just ain't happening the bad part of his life is doing cocaine off of sasha gray's asshole and then putting his penis in it. That's the bad. Oh, I got an answer. I got something I can contend.

Ballers. Just because of the music. Like even just the. Dwayne Johnson has to work. Yeah, and he's got his own issues and shit like that. But that could go toe to toe. And maybe vice principals where they're just shitting on those kids all day long. So there's some choices.

Your office is our vice principal or Vinny Chase. I don't know. It'd be funny to make fun of kids. It'd be funny to just shit on sixth graders. Yeah, no, Vinny Chase it is. But if you want to weigh in on any fictional HBO character, hit us up on Twitter at KFC Radio. Follow us on the Instagram at KFC radio. Check out the vlog out of offices call is the name of it.

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