KFC Radio - KFCradio: What is Pre-Dating & Erik Griffin (Workaholics)

Episode Date: May 31, 2018

KFC & Feits breakdown whether "pre-dating" is socially acceptable and who is the worst person to fall in love with in the world. Plus an interview with Erik Griffin from Workaholics and Showtime's I'm Dying Up Here. Episode Presented By:Blu: $1 MyBlue kit at myblu.comOmaha Steaks: 78% off for Father's Day OmahaSteaks.com use code "KFC"Drinkade: 25% off at DrinkAde.com use code "KFCRADIO"For HIMS: $5 trial month at forhims.com/kfcUncharted: $50 off at UnchartedSupplyCo.com use code "KFC"Omax Health: 60% off first 30 day supply Omaxboost.com/kfcYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Sometimes it's hard to find a satisfying vape that's simple and convenient, and that's where Blue, who introduced vaping to the world, is now introducing MyBlue. MyBlue gives you all the satisfaction with none of the hassle. You just click it, and you go. With MyBlue's easy-to-use one-click liquid pods, you can switch between flavors in seconds. Got a range of flavors to choose from. Just 20 minutes to charge it, and you're set all day long.

And for a limited time, Blue is letting you try their new MyBlue starter kit for just $1. Hurry, it won't last long. Terms and conditions apply. Go to MyBlue.com today to learn. I always watch Keith. I look over down the row, and Keith is always vaping, and I'm like, God damn, he looks cool.

Keith looks very cool vaping. Keith also just has a look where he looks... I will never look as cool as Keith doing anything. He's got the right body type. He's got the right look. He's got the right look on his face where he's just like, yeah, vape, whatever. If I was vaping, he would be like, you look delicious. He gets the smoke out of his nose.

Yeah, that's always the coolest. When you get the vape out of your nose, it's like, oh, that guy's cool. He knows what he's doing. So be like Keith. Go to MyBlue.com, and you can try out the $1 trial offer on the MyBlue kit. That's MyBlue.com for full details. We are sitting in the podcast studio sweating. We just played Wicked Big Beer Pong. It's like life-size beer pong with kind of like dodgeballs and can jam cans, basically.

A little laundry hamper really yes yes and uh it was sweaty up there dude i was the most like physical activity i've done i ran to catch the train the other day that nearly killed me and now i'm playing full-size beer pong and i'm gassed i remember at some point during the game as we were sweating and i'm in a lot of pain right now i'm being dead long i'm in a lot of pain in my shoulder um you said you threw out your arm yeah and it's like it's a shoulder i've had surgery on before and i know i can't throw much anymore i know i get like doing it and i just but i just had to for a job today you gotta stroke it man you should have shot like a basketball that's how i avoid all

my shoulder issues but uh and like it got sweating i was hurting. And someone goes, all right, it's been 10 minutes. I was like, it's only been 10 minutes? We've been here no less than an hour. I thought it was an hour and a half we'd been playing for. It was very, very physically demanding. It was a good game, though. I like it. Oh, I do like it.

It's an enjoyable thing, but it's like I can only play, like, one time. Right. Before old age sets in, it's just like, oh my god, I'm not good. I don't want to do anything anymore. Anything. There's, like, yeah, this weekend I didn't leave the couch. Memorial Day weekend. This is the first episode back from Memorial Day weekend, so yeah, I didn't leave the couch.

I was keeping a door, I'm sorry, a shirt hung on my door to put on when delivery guys came. See, you're polite for even doing that. See, no. I answered the door the other day at my house. It's not even an apartment. It was a house. Straight boxers. See, that's crazy. I was in boxers and I have a robe that's not full length. It's just like a jacket, but it's like a furry thing. I just have that and my boxers.

Look very sexual. The Gaz does that, and I see it. I'm like, like man what's wrong with you like i don't like anybody to see me in like what i've decided to describe as a bad outfit which had my body my body is a bad outfit and i i was like i i need to i had like a nice sweatshirt by the door i had i put on a pair of like fleece tech pants such an asshole i look dress up for the fucking delivery yeah for sure what a dick you are such an asshole. You dress up for the fucking delivery man? Yeah, for sure. What a dick you are.

You are an absolute dickhead. Bro, I dress up for everything. I used to dress up to go to Whole Foods. And then you just take it right off. Took it right off, hung it on the doorknob. That's a ridiculous move. It is, I know. Like, you picked it out and everything.

You're like, all right, I look good. I was like, this looks good. I mean, no one's a bigger asshole than you, babe. And yet, yet and still, every girl who listens to this is always like, I think I like Vitalberg. It's like, what? You know what it is? They've gotten a chance to know you ahead of time.

They've been listening to this podcast. They know everything about you, and they feel like they're already a few dates in, which is what brings us to the second topic of today. It's brought to you by Omaha Steaks. Father's Day is coming, and you still have to get shit for your father. It's brought to you by Omaha Steaks. Father's Day is coming, and you don't have to get shit for your father. It's like, what are you going to get him? I used to get my dad ties and power tools.

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You go to OmahaSteaks.com. In the search bar, just search for KFC. It's not a code or URL. You just search KFC. Add the Father's Day package to your cart. Pre-dating is the new trend that swept the internet the other day. It was big on black Twitter. And it's a concept that might revolutionize

the world of dating as we know it. I was just saying how all the girls who listen to this show, they already know you. That's why they like you. They want to go out with you because they already know John. They know his good stories and his bad stories. They know he likes and he doesn't like, so boom, the date's going to be much easier than when you first go in blind, and that's what this dude was. He texted this girl. It was a screenshot of a tweet of a text that went viral and got the whole conversation started. So he said, we got to hang out before we go on a date. We have to make sure we vibe together in person before a date happens. And she said, huh? You see, if you vibe with someone on a date, that's when the vibing,

that's when you see if vibe. He says, I just feel like you should be able to get to know someone before you take them on a date. Like I had so many homeboys who take a girl on a date and they never have a conversation in person and after the fact, they're like,

why did I just do that? So before I decide to take anyone on a date, I like to hang out a few times and get a feel for the person because honestly to me, a date is a big deal because that is the first time you're really saying to someone,

you are special to me. So let me take you out and take care of you all night. People were very divided. Where are you on this? Because I don't know where you're going to fall. I don't know. I don't think I know where you're going to fall. This is interesting.

I think what he's saying is very true. And if you can have that, like if you're in, the best example of this is like you're in school with someone. Right. You're in class. You know her. She knows you. You have a couple periods together.

You see her at a school event and then you start to date. So if it can unfold that way, if you see, I mean work gets a little dicey but like if you can, if you can do the pre-dating without,

I've done the work one. Pre-dating, we've done that. I basically, I exclusively get dates via pre-dating. That's done that. I basically, I exclusively get dates via predating. I've like never like been set up

or gone on a blind date or gone up to a girl. The first thing you're really going to do with her is go out on a date with her. I guess I have a few times, but like those have never been like very successful.

And that's this guy's point. Right. I am down with it, but I don't know if I'm, I'm down with the concept. I don't know if I'm – I'm down with the concept. I don't know if I'm down with executing it. Like doing this, saying to a girl, we need to hang out before we go on a date, you sound like a fucking idiot. Yeah.

You sound like a moron. That's true. So, like, I think you maybe need to set it up. Like what he should have done was invite her to go do something in a group setting. Be like, yo, me and my buddies are having a party and, like, we're doing something. You want to come with a few of your girls, and then it's not a date, but you get to see how they are socially. But to say like, I'm going to hang out with you, but it's not going to be called date

because I need to see if I want to date you. You just sound like a fucking lunatic. Yeah. You sound, you sound crazy, but in theory it makes sense. I guess it just goes by like reading it. You have to acknowledge like this does sound crazy, but also this makes sense. Yes. Like when people explain gravity to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, oh, it sounds nuts that there's someone, something in the Earth's core pulling us down. But it makes sense. I get it. Logistically, it works out. But see, the thing about gravity is like it's a fact. It's a scientific fact. But it's a scientific fact that this probably works better. No, but I'm saying dating is like

a social construct. We have come up with this term of dating and what it means and how you interact and who you do it with. And it's like, if we just change the way we think, it wouldn't be a thing. If dating was just like, yeah, you do a pre-date, like you date and then you get married. So if you just change the way you actually define dating, this would work. If dating is, if there was something called pre-dating, and then there was dating, and then there was engagement and marriage,

it would be fine. The same way right now that there's dating, engagement, marriage, we would just add a second step where you go out first. But we don't do that, so this guy sounds like a babbling idiot. Yeah, but like, every movement needs a revolutionary. 100%.

Someone's got to just change the dynamic, blaze the trail. There was a guy at one point who was like, look, I'm not marrying the first woman I see. Yeah, that's crazy. And then another time it was like, mom and dad, I'm not setting up an arranged marriage. I'm going to fucking find a girl I like. You buck the trend. Yeah, those people were crazy people Yeah

This guy right here Now I don't There's a thin line between Like revolutionary and crazy Yeah Yeah Oh absolutely But I also don't

Like I don't really Know if there's such a thing As like a bad date Like What I guess like I guess like I've never been on one

I've never been on a date Where I'm like Oh my god Get me the fuck out of here Never want to see this girl again. Yeah. I've gone on dates that didn't progress into things. But I've been like, yeah, that was a fine date.

Well, I find, like, unless you're with a horrible person, like, dating is like a movie where it's like, you know, I've seen better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is not great. Right. But I'll be here for a couple hours, and it's enjoyable, and I'll just deal with it. I'll have a couple fucking beers. Yeah, eat some food, hopefully have a couple laughs, and you're good to go I'll just deal with it. I'll have a couple fucking beers. Eat some food. Hopefully have a couple laughs, and you're good to go.

Yeah. And hey, do I want to watch it again? No. Is it my favorite movie of all time? No. But whatever. I've seen it. It's a movie.

Dating's like movies. That's a very good point. I love Trent's take on movies, where he's like, movies are just mostly fine. All movies are good. Yeah. There's a couple that are better, a couple that are like, eh. But they're all okay. They all entertain me for two hours, and that's two to three hours. Sometimes I have sex after it.

Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I don't. Dating is very much like a movie. That's why you go to movies. That's why it's a good date, too. If we can all agree to this, let's go. But I think it takes a brave person to be that revolutionary because I mean it really is it will be like infinitely

better because you're past all the bullshit you're past all the chit chat you're past all the small talk but you know what predating is? predating is texting that's what predating is you find a girl you think she's cute at the bar you get her number

you text her for like a week and then you go on a date. Now you've done it. You've had a date. You've had a predate. It's called texting. The danger of this, though, is that you can – if you get your wish, I would think it's implied that sex isn't happening before a date happens. Yes. Yeah.

So if you get your wish, by the time you get dating, you end up feeling like you dated this girl for a lot longer. Yes. And, like, that's what, like, I predated my girlfriend at the barstool. And, like, when we broke up, we really dated for, like, six months, but it felt like we dated for two years. Right. Because, like, we had just been. You were hanging out. You were talking a lot.

Right. You were already sharing a lot. Yeah. I mean, the problem with this guy, too, though, he like he's he puts a lot of pressure on dates he's like dates are when you're dates are when you're a special person like no it's not dates is when you're like trying to see if this is gonna work you know right so he i think he's that's some bullshit i think he's trying to sound more romantic and shit than he is being like no dates are really a special thing, no, it's not. But, you know, if you, it's also like a loophole where you can just be like, nah, that wasn't a date.

Like, because then if it wasn't a date, then I don't have to really dump you. I don't really have to break up with you. You know? Do you think they're fucking on these non-dates? No. No. Because if you pose it to a girl like that. Then there's no way she's fucking.

There's no way she's fucking. That's the problem, too, is like, what if you fucking smash? What if it's a click? Like, everything clicks on a pre-date. It's like, what, that doesn't count? Yeah, she's like, this wasn't a date. All right. It's like, no, come on. It was a, come on.

I mean, you really shouldn't put numbers on it, rules on it, pressure, any constructs on any of it. Just, like, go out with someone and, like, enjoy their company. I agree with that very much. I'm only going to fuck you after three dates or I only kiss after this or we do this after that. We move in after this

amount of time. That's very different for everyone. Very different for different ages. You come out of a relationship when you're like 30, you meet someone, you can be married in six months.

You're just like, yeah, I know what I want, you're what I want, the clock's ticking, we're done. When you're 23, you've got to date someone for like... I'm just saying it could. It could done you when you're 23 you gotta take someone for like just saying it could it could happen you're 23 you can you you can date someone from like

17 to like 29 and be like no we're just dating like whatever yeah i don't even really like absolutely we were doing chemistry class together let me cheat yeah the how long did you put into this thing? You put those numbers on it. You put that pressure on it. Names. Everything's got a title and an order that you go in. You're overcomplicating absolutely everything. I'm so with that.

So, I mean. So, predating is putting a title. Don't put predating. It is. Yeah. Don't call it that. I mean, really what you want to do is like, you want to predate forever. Yeah. Like, that's the best. No pressure. Everyone's just hanging that. I mean, really what you want to do is like you want to predate forever. Yeah.

Like that's the best. No pressure. Everyone's just hanging out. You're getting to know each other. No one's expecting anything. No one's, you know, whatever. That's the vibe you want to have forever. I'd predate until marriage.

Yeah. I don't know about that marriage. You put these constructs, you say until forever and stuff. It gets, it gets icy. So I'm, I'm on board with the notion of predating, but I don't think I'm on board with the, the, the name predating and the continual,

uh, pressure packed world of dating, predating. You feel me? I feel you. I feel you entirely. That was, we were, we were both didn't know where we were going to land on that one.

We both landed at the exact same spot. That's how you know. We've been predating for six years. Let's get into voicemails. Voicemails are brought to you by Drink Aid. We got our friends at Drink Aid. They're formerly known as Never Too Hungover. They went a little more subtle with it.

They were a little bit too much on the nose originally with never too hungover. Now we're going drink aid. It's the official drink before you drink. So this is like pre-drinking. You're going to do a little pre-drinking on your pre-date. So before you drink, you do some drinking. That makes your drinking a lot easier, and that way you know your drinking is going to be a lot of fun.

That's exactly what pre-dating is. That's exactly what drink aid is doing. You don't want to trade a great night out for the loss of an entire day the next day. Let me tell you something. When you're on the wrong side of 27, when you hit 30 and you have kids, forget about one day. You're losing like three days out of it. Life's too short and we're all way too busy. So now you can have it both ways. You can stay out late and you can be alive the next day when you drink drink aid before you you drink. You've got to be able to go to work. You've got to be able to take care of your kids. You want to just not be a total bum.

Whatever it may be, DrinkAid is the way to do it. You go to DrinkAid.com and use the promo code KFCRADIO. You get 25% off today. You can go to DrinkAid or go to Amazon, and either way, the promo code works. KFCRADIO. Get 25% off and stay alive after you drink. All right, we got Logan on the ones and twos today. Let it rip. See how you do it. See if you're a good voicemail player.

What's up, KFC? Super producer BC. So my question for you guys today is I've been dating this girl for about a year now, and any time that i go to her family's lake place or their house or whatever i still have to sleep on the couch like i can't sleep with the daughter so i was wondering like what time frame in your guys's opinion do the parents just accept the fact that like we sleep together at our place like when can we start sleeping together at the parents place so uh So thanks for your thoughts, Diva. Come on, never. Come on.

Never. Like, if you're cool with it, fine. But if you're not cool with it, also fine. Yeah. And it's not like a – You know what's weird? Like, in my family, for instance, I never even asked to have a girl sleep in my bed. No way.

My brother has his girlfriend sleep in his bed like every night. Well, I mean, good for Benny, but. And he's like 10 years younger than me, and I'm still like, I can't. I don't know. It's a new generation, man. Times have changed. I mean, here's the thing. You know why you don't do it?

Because you know what you do when you've got that girl in bed with you. You know you got, like, it's not like, oh, Christian, like you can't until you're married. It's just like, yo, especially if you're at the daughter's, if you're at the girl's parents. That's totally different. It's like the dad's like, you're going to try to fuck my, like, you're going to at least finger my daughter. Like, no. You're at least going to be grabbing that ass, like, poking her with your morning wood. No.

It doesn't, you don't have to be some uptight, like, religious nut. It's just like, yo, I know what goes on in the middle of the night when you're in bed with someone, even if it's just a little handsy, so no. I think you said it best. You could do that to your 50. I would be fine. Even married, I'd be like, yeah, I get it. Keep it away, dude. I'll sleep on the couch. If you let me, you let me.

Actually, even if you let me, it's one of those things I probably won't fuck. Oh, I definitely wouldn't fuck. It's like in Meet the Parents. She's like, come on, let the snake out. He's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I absolutely, like, maybe if you have this mansion and we're like in another wing. Yeah, like then maybe we'll fuck.

If there's any sort of like you might hear me or you might come down the hallway accidentally. No way. I would like, I don't even know if it's a fear thing or a respect thing or a bit of both. But, like, I'm not fucking anybody in her dad's house. You know what? It's not, yeah. No, that's just bad. That's respect.

Because I don't think I've ever been afraid, like, I'm going to get beat up or something. It's just like, he's going to be really mad. Yeah. I don't know what's going to happen. Yeah, he probably won't say anything. Right. It'll just be like, it's bad for our relationship, my relationship with him, my relationship hurts.

It's going to make things difficult. I'm not like afraid, but it's just going to be like, this will be problematic if I fuck this guy's wife or daughter or daughter and they're in his house. Dude, like one year you've been dating for like, get the fuck out of here. And he's like, when do they, like, accept that we sleep together? They know that. They just don't want it to happen, like, down the hall from them. Same thing with fucking, like.

Totally fair. Drinking and drugs in high school. You know it happens, but you're not just going to be like, here's some fucking blow, kiddo. Have a good time. Although the parents that do that are pretty cool. My high school girlfriend, she lived, like, around. She was, like, her father was in, like, the U.N. or some shit. So, like, they lived all over the place.

So they were kind of, like, European-ish and foreign where things are a little, like, advanced or whatever. I mean, we could do, like, whatever we want, wherever we want, however long we wanted. It was, like, doors closed, late at night, sleepover, do whatever. But it's, like, but I was fucking her. We were doing some weird shit. So, like, you enabled the fuck out of us. So, but I was, that was like, it was never like, while they were like in the room next to me.

It was just like at the house. We could do kind of whatever we wanted. But it was always like, is this allowed? Okay. I don't think I could do it now. Like, I feel like, especially like allowed? Okay. I don't think I can do it now. I feel like, especially like a weekend away, I don't know, as I'm talking through it, I guess I did do it in high school.

I'm thinking it's more like he's away with them at their house and it's like a thing, the families are together. This was just like, I go to my girlfriend's house. Like day-to-day operations sort of thing. But there was no worry about anything going on. That's definitely a different thing when you're like it's part of a family vacation you're like sharing moments with the family

they invited you you're the guest for the weekend and all you're going to do is smash her no come on KFC fights Super Producer BC I have a question so I broke up with my boyfriend from college like a year ago we're still really close we broke up because of distance from college like a year ago. We're still really close.

We broke up because of distance and just because of job stuff. And so we're still really close. And he would always give me shit that I, like, didn't have a vibrator, like, didn't do anything for myself kind of thing. And I've just been a big advocate of why do something for yourself when someone else can do it for you so finally we were facetiming the other day and he decided to buy me a bunch of things vibrators and things like that so that I would be able to just experience that and just like have that and my question to you is this just I mean I know the answer but if this is this something that he's just doing out of the goodness of his heart he just wants me to have that?

Or is there going to be a hundred strings attached to this? And is this something that you would do? Or is this a weird move or a good move? Or what are your thoughts on it? Well, I mean, he's not doing it out of the goodness of his heart. But it's also not like there's a million strings attached. I think he just wants fucking videos and pictures of it. And also when we get together, it's going to be like extra.

I mean, they're going to hook up again. This is the most non-broken up, broken up couple of all time. But also, yeah, it probably feels like one of those little breaks, right? Yeah. And as long as you're experimenting with a bunch of dildos,

you're not experimenting with a bunch of dicks. Yeah. There's a lot of ulterior motives here, but all of which I think are coming from a good place. Yeah, I think it's fine. Like, hey, we broke up because we shouldn't have had to break up. We didn't break up because we don't like each other, so I don't want you from a good place. Yeah, I think it's fine. Like, hey, we broke up because, like, we shouldn't have had to break up. We didn't break up because we don't like each other.

So I don't want you fucking a bunch of dudes. You know, here is some toys that I want to, like, enjoy. I want to reap the benefits of, too. But it is good for you to have these on your own. It's a win-win. It's a win-win-win-win-win all around. Like, come on now. Video here and there on a saucy Friday.

Also, by the way, the whole, like, why, you know, why do something for yourself when someone else can do it. Oh, that was nonsense. Someone else can't put a big old vibrating fucking tool inside you. If my dick was the size of these dildos and had the vibrating capability, then yes, I understand. I can't do for you what the rabbit can do for you. There's a lot of things I can't do that some of these machines can do for you, girl. And even like why if someone else can do it for you, like, yeah, there are like a lot of times.

A lot of times you want to do it yourself. I'd rather just handle this one myself, please. I know exactly what I'm doing. Get right to the point. No fucking frills. No nothing. Sometimes I'll go on a two-hour bender with myself. Just be like fucking disaster scene.

Slapping it around, fucking helicoptering it around. I can have a little more fun with myself. Look, as much as I like to consider myself a free and open person sexually, there's still some stuff behind closed doors I'll watch just alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just with me. There are times where it's just a me moment. doors I'll watch just alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just with me. There are times where it's just a me moment. Yeah.

I don't need anyone else on this. This is a suicide mission. Where I'm going, there's no return. Straight kamikaze, man. So, next voicemail. What's up, boys? First time, long time. time so i got a scenario for you so i'm a delivery guy i deliver pizza and the other day i was really hungry and really high and i thought to myself damn this pizza smells so good what would the people do if i just took a slice right now and then you know left them like a five or a 10 or a 20 or something do you think they would have been mad what or do you think

they would have called right away i mean the order was only 15 bucks and i would have left them a 20 for one slice of pizza so i guess the scenario the situation the question here is uh so what would you do if you ordered seamless or delivery or something along those lines and something was noticeably missing but the person also compensated you? What would it take for that to be okay? If you gave me a pie and took one slice and left a $20 bill,

I'm in. Sign me up. I would never call. I mean, we've talked about this before. If my fucking pizza gets delivered with a slice of pizza, I'm like, fuck. I got got. this pie is really small yeah but like also I think it would I think I'd be weirded out if you gave me money like I'd be like why are you giving me money I'll take the money but like I'd be like why are you giving me money right now well you'd have to explain to my face I was thinking more like it's just like in the box like you open it up and like where the where

the slice was is like a $20 bill. See, I think I would be less pissed if you just didn't have money. I think if you just did it. Because then there's a level of premeditated. Exactly. You stole my shit.

This was just like you were overcome. It smelled so good. You couldn't help yourself. We've all been there before. You're like, I'm going to steal this slice. I'm taking a slice of pizza.

I'll pay him. Pull it over to the ATM to get cash. I get that. I can understand that. But a slice of pie a pie of pizza is like 15 bucks. You give me 20, that's a great trade-off.

I just got my other seven slices for free. Yeah, no, logistically and theoretically it makes sense, but I just think my emotion would be like, who the fuck does this person think they are? Whereas if it was just a slice miss, I'd be like, ah, that's weird. You give me a five spot and I can go get an entire month of hymns right now. By the way, did you know I was supposed to be a pizza delivery person? Oh, really?

Well, I was in college. That's supposed to be. I was in college, and my mom was like, you need to get a job. And I was like, okay, I'm going to become a bouncer. And she was like, no, you're not. Never mind. She's like, that's working. You're going to be working too late. And it's dangerous. And she was like, no, you're not. Never mind. She's like, that's working. You're going to be working too late.

And it's dangerous. And I was like, okay, fine. I'll be a bar back. She's like, no, you'll be working too late. And I was like, fine, I'll be a pizza delivery guy. She's like, no, that's dangerous too. And I was like, well then, Mom, it looks like you're going to keep paying for everything.

That's all this guy right here can do. It looks like I'm still going to be using your credit card because that's about where my job qualifications end. My skill set right there. I can clean shit, I can push people, and I can bring you things. You're really handcuffing me here if I can't do those things, man. I got nothing else to bring you to the table. Yeah, you make some tips.

Like I said, you get your fur hems. Right now, I signed up the other day. You don't quite realize, when I tell you that you can get it for $5, it feels one way. It feels an entirely different way when you have your cart, and it says $45, and you put KFC in, and it just goes down to $5. There's like a medication tax or some shit like that where you have to pay the $5. It just goes and goes down to $5. You get like a month's... I'll just put it like this.

You can't get a jar of pills for $5. That's crazy. There's nothing in this world for $5. You get a month-long supply of pills that's going to help your hair grow for five bucks when you use the promo code KFC. For him, it has hair loss products. It has skin care products. It has dick pills.

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good. It's 4hims.com slash KFC. John, you've been giving me a lot of sage wisdom here on the show today. And it's because you are a modern-day American philosopher, according to the Chicago Tribune. I totally forgot about that. Yeah.

That's, you know why? Because you're humble on top of it all. You don't let these things go to your head. The Chicago Tribune is— I think he's not being serious. I think he's mocking me. I don't know about that. I have a pretty strong feeling.

Pretty good sarcasm radar, and I think that he's using it. This guy was writing about the dude who his parents were evicting him at the age of 30, and he was talking about your video and our podcast, and he described you as the modern American philosopher and ethicist. An ethicist. An ethicist. You're an ethicist as well. I'll tell you what. A modern American philosopher is not too far off.

Neither is ethicist. Ethicist might be. No, listen. Ethicist doesn't mean that you act ethically. It just means that you're presenting the discussion of the ethics. Okay. Okay. That's fair.

I think, listen. It's modern day. We're not Socrates and fucking Plato sitting around figuring out, like, mathematical fucking theorems and philosophies

to be passed down. This is the modern day version. The modern day version is that we're reaching the masses with our discussion on society and life.

That's philosophizing, bro. I don't care how you cut it. That's fucking Kevin. Earlier today we recorded the quickie. You kind of swung me on the Drake push a T thing. Now you're swinging me on me being a moral philosopher. I think I was being dead serious. Just because we're not sitting on top of the Parthenon

just talking amongst those fucking white columns that they used to have in Greece. We're in a studio with microphones reaching hundreds of thousands of people. Modern day philosopher. It doesn't feel the same, but it is. Yeah. One day they'll look back. We've had some stuff.

We've had stuff. We've had plenty of stuff. We've had some commercial success. That happens. We've had some commercial success with Stiles and the Boys. Happens to every great philosopher. Things with that. And then we've also had just some more critical success, such as the Beta Boys. And really what we're doing, it's not about us, John.

It's not about our successes. It's about the people. Because when you're a philosopher, you're reaching the people. You're doing it for them. And what we do here day in and day out, we take – what does the Statue of Liberty say? Give me like your tired, your poor, your humbled masses. That's us with all these fucking hungry – whatever it is. Give me all that.

That's what the KFC radio listeners are. And they call up with all their dumb shit. And we take them serious even when we shouldn't. And we give them answers. We tell them the truth. We are truth sayers, okay? That's what philosophy is all about. We're the only people out here who can tell the truth.

We spit knowledge. I'm like... Right? Yeah! Philosophers, let's do a tour, a live tour called American Philosophers. Yes! Right? Yes! do a tour, a live tour called like American philosophers. Yes. Right? Yeah. Yes.

Now we're cooking. I love that. We'll set it up on stage like we're all fucking serious. We'll just be American philosophers talking about like butt sex and stuff. Because that's what the modern day people care about. What's up, guys? I was just listening to the last episode, and I was actually just watching Curb

recently, season two or three. Cheryl has that tennis instructor that's clearly trying to fuck. My question is, how do you deal with a guy that's kind of in the social dynamic that wants to fuck your girlfriend.

You obviously can't take it, you know, the jealous route, obviously, but you also can't kind of make it seem like that flirting is acceptable. So how do you play that off, Viva? I mean, play it off like you play off everything With a smile Just Like sorry You know Tim wants to fuck you right

Yeah yeah yeah That's really what you gotta do Is like When the time is right Let Everybody know Maybe not the guy You let the girl know

Like Yeah I mean You know that that guy Is trying to fuck Alright You know that he's not doing that Out of the goodness of his heart Just so

Cause listen That's gonna happen Hopefully If you're dating a girl And nobody else wants to fuck That stinks All right. It's very clear. He's not doing that out of the goodness of his heart. Just so – because, listen, that's going to happen, hopefully. If you're dating a girl that nobody else wants to fuck, that stinks. I like it that way a little bit. I like knowing, like, all right, everybody at your office is trying to smash. And every guy that you hung out with was secretly doing it, like, because one day he hopes that he's out of the friend zone. So you can't, like – you can't be mad at her at her or like not let her go out or do those things

so you like that but she's got to know that you know and that like lines can't be crossed and all that kind of shit yeah i feel like that's what i feel like even if you start explaining that like now here's the one no no i'm not saying i'm not saying you have to explain it but that's why you have to do it just like at some point you got to do it. Just like at some point, you got to just be like, oh, that dude, like that guy picked you up that day. He drove you to the airport because he's like, you're not the fucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know that, right? Make her feel stupid for saying anything otherwise.

She's like, you know Tim in the office. Yeah, the guy who wants to fuck you. Exactly. That's exactly it. Yeah, oh, yeah. Which one is that? Oh, yeah, the guy who's trying to fuck you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think that's just – it's like, hey. I know. Even if you – maybe you've been naive to this. Right. Because I think girls sometimes are. Absolutely. Because they've done. She'll be like, no, Tim, he's just a nice guy.

No, no. Because they've grown up their whole lives with people wanting to fuck them. So they're like, it's just like the thing they're used to. Like, they're just used to people doing these nice things for no reason. Yep. When it's just like, sometimes you've got to be the one to shine that glass and say, they're not doing nice things because they're just naturally people doing these nice things for no reason when it's just like sometimes you gotta be the one to shine that glass and say they're not doing nice things because they're nice people they're doing nice things most people aren't nice people that's all they want and like you have to you have to open their eyes to that

and then you gotta everyone goes from there where it's like all right maybe maybe she's a little less like flirty to be like oh okay tim like yeah i she's a little less like, flirty, or a little less. To be like, oh, okay, Tim, like, yeah,

I'll take a ride from you. Yeah, like late at night, like, oh yeah, we stayed for one more drink after the happy hour. And like,

no, that's what's going on now. Right, right. And I don't think you ever have to say anything, put it this way, if it ever gets to the point

where you feel like you need to say something to the guy, it's, things are probably problematic. Yeah. That relationship's probably not going well in general.

If you ever have to go to the guy and be like, yo, hey, I know you're trying to fuck her. Like, dude, will you seriously stop trying to fuck my girl? Like, that's not good. That's probably... That relationship is probably cooked. Last voicemail of the day is before we get into

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It's uncharted supply co.com for $50 off. Hey, what's up fellas? Um, I'm just thinking if you found yourself in a, in like a mutual friend kind of gathering deal and you get introduced to a girl and you guys just hit it off and you're, you know,

you are in love with this girl who is the worst the last person that you would want to like inopportunely fall in love with like my my first thing that came to came to mind like it would suck to like if you like fell in love with Tommy Lahren because like what if you're hanging out and you just, yeah, whatever, we're just having a beer in a big group and you're like, fuck, she's actually, like, really cool. And you guys just have a wonderful time and you're head over heels for her, but then you're like, fuck, dude, I can't beat Tommy Lahren. That's a problem.

That's tough. That's a topical answer. But if you guys can think of anybody else, let me know. Tommy Lahren's a really good one. Because she's pretty, too. She's hot. She's successful. She's got money.

I do think a lot of it's an act. I bet. I don't know if she's pleasant to be around because her act is pretty insufferable. But I wonder if she's just being herself and not being like Tommy Lahren on the internet. And one more thing. I wonder if she's just like a cool chick. She probably is. She probably is. Fuck.

Imagine if you were just like I love this girl what would you do would you I don't think I could I think just cause like we're I don't know about us like literally us

that's probably impossible that's what I mean but like if you're just a regular dude at a bar if I'm a regular dude I'm probably like giving it a try

yeah I think I would too it would suck to be you could like only go out like in the south though we had to move to texas yeah only blue states or red states like otherwise she's getting drinks thrown out at brunch and you're like fuck i gotta fight this oh that's the thing too yeah it's like everywhere you go you got guys being like fuck you bitch it's like what are you gonna do about it nothing nothing you're the one who made that

video you do something about it tommy's a tough one uh made that video. You do something about it. Tommy's a tough one. I don't think Tommy's the best one there. She's the pick? Yeah. I really can't think of anybody else who would even come close to it. I mean, what about like- Because she was so perfect. Like you said, just money and pretty.

What about like falling in love with like a Lindsay Lohan type? I got no problem with that. Like a disaster slut? Funny. That fits my role perfect. I'll get down on one knee. It's hard for me to be more on brand with a girl than fucking Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay, if you're, I mean, Lindsay's had enough of a fall from grace.

She might date you. Lindsay is doing advertisements for lawyer.com now. No. Yeah. So you would be the catch. She would be like, oh my God, I got me a man. I am literally the catch in that relationship. Yeah. So you would be the catch. She would be like, oh, my God. I got me a man. I am literally the catch in that relationship. Wow.

We got to get fights dating Lindsay Lohan. Got to do it. That needs to be, that needs to happen. Yeah. I actually just randomly saw it over the weekend. Like, her retweeted, like, she misspelled the advertisement, too. It's like, call me at lawyer.com. And it's like, the URL wasn't spelled out right, but she's got this stock-looking photo of her.

Oh, yeah, she's fucking out. Actually, you know what? I think she's been recently, I think she recently dated, like, a duke or a king or something like that. So maybe I'll, well, I'm still a catch. But I'm just a much. A little bit downgraded. I'm a much less of a catch. I mean, that guy probably was like, I'm done with you.

Yeah, yeah. Go to lawyer.com. I mean, we talked about stripper. You said you couldn't do that. Again, that would be was like, I'm done with you. Yeah, yeah. Go to lawyer.com. I mean, we talked about Stripper. You said you couldn't do that. Again, that would be because of social stigma. Right. I mean, all these things are probably social stigma. Right, right, right.

Yeah, you're right. Sex workers of any kind will always be a little bit of a problem. Famous people who have, like, lost their way. If one of us were to date Tommy Lahren, like, that would be. I mean, the internet would. It would be, like, really bad for Barstool. Yeah, yeah. Where it would be.

But maybe not. You get a lot of clicks, bro. Nothing's ever – Barstool is – and we are Trump, where it's, like – I know, I know. There's nothing we can do, really. Honestly, we – like, everything can just be spun or just be like, all right, this is what we're doing now. I don't know.

I'm going to date Tommy Leonard, and I'll just be this hardcore conservative fucking troll. I don't know. I wouldn't change my political views for her. I'd be like, yeah, look. Like, I'm not going to – my wife's fucking crazy. What wouldn't change my political views for her. I'd be like, yeah, look. I'm not going to apologize. My wife's fucking crazy. What am I going to do? You see that ass, though?

My wife talks crazy all the time. She's beautiful. I love her. She's great. Tommy should do this. Tommy should date you because it would help humanize her. He'd be like, listen, she's not really like that behind closed doors. We watch The Bachelorette and drink wine

and like make out and stuff. She's not like a fucking Republican dragon like she seems. Not just a fire-breathing conservative like she seems to be. Come and take my guns,

Obama. Trump's the president. Whatever. Oh, I bet you it gets, it goes down too. Oh, oh. Treat me like a liberal. I bet you it goes down, too. Oh, God. Treat me like a liberal.

Treat me like a dirty fucking hippie liberal. All right, we got Eric Griffin. What if you just fell in love with Lena Dunham? Oh, my God. That one's impossible because she's just so grotesque. Yeah, she'd have to be way, way better looking. Yeah, there's no... There needs to be a physical attraction

before I could even get tricked into like, all right, I've looked past all your bullshit. Yeah, Lena Dunham is just off the table. If Lena Dunham was like... If I was physically attracted to Lena Dunham and then she wasn't like her usual like internet trolly self and was cool that would be bad that would be tough yeah that would be tough imagine I guess Britt McHenry is kind of she's like she's diet Tommy Larry yeah she's like not even diet

she's like sad Tommy Larry she's like broke ass fucking homeless homeless woman Tommy Larry Eric Griffin is uh joining us in studio. You know him from – he's Montez from the Workaholics. He's got a new special out on Showtime. Real funny cat. The interview is brought to you by Omax. We're dumb. We're not smart.

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We got Eric Griffin. Yeah. You know him from Workaholics. You know him. He's got a new stand-up out with Showtime, it is, right? Yeah, Showtime. American Warrior on Showtime. So we appreciate you coming through, man.

Well, it's great, and I can't wait to talk about chicken. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's the- You get that all the time, right? Yeah. It's something that- Ugh, it's just a hack. I have said many times we need to just change this goddamn name,

but we don't know what to change it to or why to change it. I'm like, I don't know. Let need to just change this goddamn name but we don't know what to change it to or why to change it. I'm like, I don't know, let's just fucking change it. Yeah, because it's just

about the brochures. It's my initials. The first thing I thought I was like, when I saw the note in my email, I was like, I'm going to go talk about

it's a KFC. I was like, I didn't know. Yeah, when I first started I didn't want to use my real name because I had a separate job

so I just went by my initials and my parents stupidly gave me the initials KFC. Yeah, well, that says a lot about it. Talking about hippie parents. Kevin's dad is actually the ultimate hippie.

Kevin's dad lived in the woods with a monkey. Yes. He had a one-eyed monkey named Deadeye. It was a spider monkey. He lived literally in the woods, and his neighbor's dog ate it, ate the monkey. Oh, wait, I thought the monkey ate the dog. This sounds like a scene in a horror movie. Wait, you think the monkey ate the dog?

I always thought the monkey ate the dog. What, do you think it was like a fucking gorilla? It was like a little monkey. I mean, a monkey can eat a dog. Yeah, he's not going to swallow it whole. It's not an anaconda. The monkey's going to rip it apart. No, no, it's like a little spider monkey. It's like an anaconda. The monkey's going to rip it apart. No, no.

It's like a little spider monkey. It's like a little pet. You guys, you picture like a chimpanzee? No, I was picturing a regular size, like a small. I know what a spider monkey looks like, but I just know they're ferocious creatures who can eat whatever the fuck they want. Yeah, don't you always hear about like a monkey going crazy? It's like one of those pets you're just not supposed to have. Yeah, that's very true.

You ever seen that guy, there's a guy who had a pet monkey and it ripped his face off. But that was like a chimp. Ripped his face off. No eyes. You don't have a...

Okay. That was actually another story. This says a lot about you. Another story about my father. He was going to get a spider web, speaking of his face,

tattooed on his face. Who was your father? He was crazy, dude. He also fucked Sharon Stone. That's another story for another day. He's a trip, man. He is a wild- I think we all want to hear this story now.

We went to high school with her, and- I like how the progression of our, or really the regression of us, is like, it used to be like we kind of kept things private, and you'd alluded to the fact before that maybe your dad- My dad dated Sharon Stone for a little while. It's out there now. And now it's just like, my dad fucked Sharon Stone. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They went to prom. She learned that move from my dad to open her legs. Oh, Jesus. The real question is, your dad sounds crazy. So what's your mom like? Jeez, the real crazy. Like, how did he get her? So to put that in perspective, my mom is known as the crazy one in the family.

So just picture that. You think? With her great choices in mind. Settling down on that. Yeah, settling down with that cat. Interesting choice. Well, all right. Let's talk about your specials.

We're already completely off the rails here. I just saw the clip earlier. Your take on Black Panther is perfect, man. It's just perfect. Says the white guy. Well, that's how I've always described it. Says the two white guys talking about Black Panther. When I went to Black Panther, I went alone.

I always go to movies alone. I don't know. You have no friends. You're anti-social depression. It's guilt. It's the new white guilt movie of the year. But I always- It was Get Out, and now it's Black Panther.

It was really cool. I was sitting next to a black family with, like, three young black kids, and, like, it was really cool to kind of not see it through their eyes, but it was almost like I was sitting with them. We were like, they were going nuts. You were the white friend of them. You were the token white friend who you didn't know the family at all. You were just, like, sidled.

You were eating their popcorn. He was a Swedish exchange student living know the family at all. You were just like sidled. You were eating their popcorn. He was a Swedish exchange student living with the family. But when I walked out of the movie, I thought exactly what you thought, where I was like, that was all right. It was pretty good.

It was a good Marvel movie, but I understand the rest of it. I'm just saying, I'm a nerd. I love the Marvel universe. For nerd reasons, I didn't like the movie. I didn't like Avengers Affinity War either.

Really? Yeah. First of all, look, let me just – the Iron Man – okay, first Iron Man, the whole movie is explaining the technology. So you can suspend your disbelief and be like, oh, this could actually happen. Now all of a sudden they got like – Flying this. Yeah, this technology is out of control. Yeah, those Marvel movies are not exactly the most realistic technology is out of control. You know, I just.

Yeah, those Marvel movies, not exactly the most realistic movies, huh, Eric? No, it's okay. If you. Explain it. If you set up the rules, I'll believe the rules. Right. And they just went, it's too far fetched. But didn't, isn't like the Infinity War, as I've heard it, I've seen, I think I've probably seen all the Marvel movies.

I'm not like a nerd about it. I never really read the books or anything like that. But I've seen them all the Marvel movies. I'm not a nerd about it. I never really read the books or anything like that. But I've seen them all. I very much enjoy them. But didn't they say that Infinity War is kind of the culmination where you had to see everything else? Well, that's what I'm saying. But that's the reason why it did so well is because you have to go see it. They've been prepping us for 10 years.

You can't just not see this to end. You know what I mean? You've got to get the money shot. See, that's funny you use that terminology because I just did what I do with porn and the money shot. I just skimmed right through. I just went right to Infinity War. I saw a couple things here and there, but I just went right to the money shot. So you go right to the money shot when you're watching porn?

Oh, yeah. There's no buildup? No, I watch the very beginning. I like the interview in the beginning maybe where they're chit-chatting and then cut right to the piece. What porn are you watching? Oh, come on. If you're not watching porn with the interview in the beginning. where they're chit-chatting and then cut right to the piece. What porn are you watching? Oh, come on. If you're not watching porn with the interview in the beginning. Don't you laugh.

Because you're in on it too. Oh, you both watch interview porn? You guys sit in each other's clips? How does interview porn go? Is it like, hey, so where you from? Yes! Correct.

That is ridiculous. I'm about to open your world, man. I'm about to open the doors to a whole new life for you. Guys will watch any kind of porn. It doesn't even matter. They sit her down. They explain where she's from. Oh, she's.

Oh, the guy's interviewing her. Yeah, and it's like, when was the first time you did this? And are you going to do that? This is like reading Playboy for the article. Yeah. Yeah. No, it is. And I've actually said, I'm done with porn.

I'm into like novels now. Erotica. I want erotic novels. You look like a novel guy. Yeah. He's going to give Oprah's book club a run for its money right here. Erotic novels. The kind you buy at at the grocery store checkout.

You're like, oh, yeah, I'll throw this one in. Now I totally get it. I just walked through a sea of frat boys in here to get to the novelist over here. I mean, his move recently, as the novelist said he is, he was at like a 7-Eleven. He bought a bunch of mature magazines. Yeah. He just sent me pictures. It was like six.

I just think it's funny. I don't know that's very nostalgic of you like 60 plus imagine having to turn a page oh yeah and then i and then i get home the next morning i have to throw them all away because i'm like embarrassed like the cleaning you'll see them they're under you with your mattress or something you've got thousands of them whenever the cleaning is coming i always throw them away because i'm always terrified she'll find them. Well, anyways. I did have a, I just, the real point of why I talked about Black Panther is just the fact that we live in a society right now that you can't talk, have an opinion of anything without somebody questioning your intentions. So it's like you guys are like, look at you guys. You're a Boston white guy.

You know, where are you from? New York. New York. You guys, you know, so if you guys go say, yeah, I didn't like Black Panther. Everybody's like, oh, I wonder why you didn't like it. He's like, yeah, it wasn't a good movie. That should be enough. That's so true.

But now it's like if you don't like Wonder Woman, you don't like women. If you don't like Black Panther, you don't like black people. And I liked Black Panther. I very much liked it. I just thought it was all right. Yeah. But it wasn't like the great movie. I thought Wonder Woman sucked.

Listen, if it was called White Panther, no one would have been able to. And that's a fact. It would have been a really bad movie. You can say that better than I can, but it's just like, this wasn't that good, man. Yeah, yeah. It was very formulaic. But I understood the cultural significance of it. Yeah, yeah.

You can get it. Like I said, I was like, with three little kids, they were like, oh, that looks like me. You know, because of the 500 years of oppression that your people have. Heard of that, yeah. That might play into it. Oh, that looks like me. You know, because of the 500 years of oppression that your people have. Yeah. Heard of that. Yeah. That might play into it. Perhaps. Yes.

I see your point. Sure. We need some mistakes along. Cue Negro spiritual right now, please. Just a fat black choir comes out right now. Well, I saw you tweeting, I believe, too, as we were just mentioning porn before. There's some congresswoman who is blaming school shootings on porn. And I'll tell you what, if you watch maybe a little more interview porn,

maybe your social skills get a little bit better, you learn how to talk to girls or something, and we would end these. I think more porn will help the situation. No, you're just a pervert. You'd make porn out of anything. It's a beautiful way to live. Shopping porn. Sounds good.

I didn't think it was ridiculous that this lady said that. But you can't have those words, pornography and shooting, in the same sentence. And not think I'm going to maybe add the word load in there. You're setting that one up, lady. Putting it on a tee. You know where that's going. I have to do this. I don't want to.

This is like one time I was on a plane. It was very quiet. We were just boarding. And the stewardess, I don't think you say stewardess anymore. What do you say? Yeah, you can't say anything anymore. Flight attendant. The flight girl.

The sky hoe. What do you say? Anyway, she's trying to get this bag, and she was just like, oh, this is – she said something like, it's too thick. And then I went like this. I went, I'm so sorry, everyone. That's what she said. Your hands are tied.

It's one of those. We have a whole running list of words that have just been ruined. You can't. When a girl's like, oh, I'm going to go get a facial. It's like, I have to. Or, oh, man, I'm so anal. If you say anal just in regular, that's, fuck you. You're a social asshole if you're just saying anal regularly.

Or you are two children. Probably. That could very well be. That got flipped. Can you imagine? That's your argument? Like, hey, you can't say anal. That's not fair.

Well, yeah. I think it's a pretty solid argument, but I don't know. Apparently not. You ran for class president. I did. I lost. I lost. Some kid promised that he would throw a party if he won.

I voted for him, too. I was like, fuck it. Speaking of arguments, Roseanne Barr is making the argument that it was Ambien that caused her to go on her racist tirade also on Twitter. I don't think she was saying. You know what? They're blowing it out of proportion. I don't think she's saying it was because of Ambien. She was just saying, I was on Ambien at the time. And I'm also a racist.

First of all, how do we call someone ugly now? Are there ugly people in the world? Like physically unattractive? Yeah, someone in this whole office. We tried to fire an intern today because he's too attractive. Yeah, we got this kid out there. He's a stunner. I hate that.

You're done. We're all like sixes here. This kid was a ten. Look at this guy, six. I'm being honest. I took it down a little so I wouldn't have that joke. I'm just saying, though, I think that we have to just put a rule out. If you're going to call someone ugly and that person is ethnic, you can't compare.

No animals can be involved in the comparison. It seems like a pretty – Just ugly is good enough. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I don't like this ugly person's opinion. Would it have been as bad? No.

I mean, that's the problem. Yeah. You can't put any animal in the mix. I don't think Valerie Jarrett's ugly. It would have been something because there's always something. But I think when you start to compare ugly and ethnic and animal, it's like those are not going to go together well at all. And, again, Valerie Jarrett, I think Valerie Jarrett's kind of a little minx.

Oh, do you? You're into that look, huh? You don't like Valerie Jarrett? Eric is just shaking his head. Who are you? He legitimately – We know what he's going to be spanking to later. Maybe I can find an interview of her later.

Valerie Jarrett. He's going to do it on Ambien, too. Oh, yeah, this is great. Tiger had the right idea with this stuff. No, but I think she went crazy. I think she's just out of touch. Were you ever a good Roseanne fan? We just had Retta in here earlier today, and she was like, Roseanne was my comedy hero.

No, I get it. At the time, what mean, at the time, what she did at the time, it was a gigantic, ginormous show. You know, it's like we're so uncreative right now that we have to rehash everything and, you know,

bringing MASH back, I hear. You know? It could be. But it's in Iraq, you know what I mean? I mean, I don't't know I just don't know You know so It came back She's out of touch

Remember she ran for president Remember that crazy thing So she has a Hitler photo shoot Like none of this Really should have been Too surprising It's crazy that she even Really got the second chance

Based on How the world is now You know what I mean It's like everyone is so sensitive So worried I know Let's give her a platform Is everyone sensitive Or is it the pretentious liberals That are now. You know what I mean? It's like everyone is so sensitive, so worried. Yeah, let's give her a platform. Is everyone sensitive,

or is it the pretentious liberals that are sensitive? Oh. I think it's the liberals that are too sensitive. They want to silence everything. It's like, are you guys... I know I'm asking you guys this, but are you watching the show Handmaid's Tale on Hulu? That was very presumptuous of you, sir.

And I watched the premiere, and I didn't like it. This motherfucker, he doesn't watch it. I didn't care for it. But it's funny, on the show, there's like, you know, it's actually a very interesting show. You should actually watch it. It's really like a psychological experiment. If you're a man watching that show,

it makes you think about a lot of things. But what's weird about the second season is, like, all the two evil characters on the show are women, you know? And then they have this scene where they always do these flashback scenes, and then so this woman, they have this, like, weird view of what they want the world to be, and then these, like, sort of liberal people are yelling and trying to silence her. And I think it's, like, so funny that that's what's happening now. It's like I hate doing colleges.

I don't want to go to college campuses because college kids are some of the smartest, stupidest people you ever want to meet. They can't think outside the box. Their little brains are conditioned to think a certain way. They learn one thing and they're convinced that's it. There's no alternatives. There's no other side to it. That's fact. And if we don't have open discussion

even for people that we can't stand, even for people that we completely disagree with, how else are we going to find out who we are unless we let people speak? And so now we can't do jokes. we can't stand, even for people that we completely disagree with. I mean, how else are we going to find out who we are? Let people speak. And so now we can't do jokes. We can't do anything. You can't say anything. You have to be so sensitive,

even in an environment that it's not supposed to be that, which is like, for instance, comedy. Have you found yourself curtailing your jokes or changing your style, or do you just say, fuck it and go? It depends on, I just say fuck it. My special right now, I talk about award show protesting,

I talk about kneeling for the national anthem, how I don't like that. Is that happening? People are kneeling for the anthem? This guy. This motherfucker. He doesn't know what's going on

because he's watching too much interview porn. It's much better on my side, brother. That's where he finds out all this information. So what do you think about Colin Kaepernick? Some little girl in the valley is like, well, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, fuck you, old man.

I like black guys, though. I'll get on my knees for him. I'll kneel for him. So, I mean, I just said, in In this particular special I decided to just go for it You know I talk about The Me Too Everything You know

You might as well just You know go for it I mean cause people People are gonna hate you They're gonna like you Hate you no matter what you do So just get out there I try to be thoughtful

I thought I was thoughtful As I can be But still I'm sure Just people are gonna They're gonna find a fence Yeah the only thing That worries me Cause we

I mean we started I started in 2009 doing this shit, and back then you could say whatever you wanted. And now you do have to think twice about it. And it's like I don't really censor myself, but I will say, like, is this worth it? This is a funny joke, but it's not worth the backlash. Well, yeah, but that's what the motto is. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. And that's how we have to all be about social media.

Oh, for sure. You can let it rip. You can let all those tweets fly. But you know what I resent? I resent that critics are still allowed to trash you. It's time of bullying. Critics can go online, watch your work, and then then totally like this is the worst thing i've ever seen why can't i say that about like some girl you know yeah this is the worst this is the

worst body i've ever seen in my life i can't believe this but it's like i'm just a critic i'm just a critic right it's like so it's it's just weird some of the things we do allow some of the things we're okay with so they're they're a professional asshole so that's really what it is your critics are professional assholes but that's what comics are i'm a professional asshole but you get you know criticized but i think like to get back to like you know the roseanne bar i think that i think it was a as a comic i'm not defending her but i'm just saying i get she thought it was funny yeah you know but but and you put it out there in a public forum like that and it's okay for people to be like, nah, we didn't think it was funny. Yeah, I think that's fair.

But also, I think it's just blatantly racist, right? And you said it's kind of the liberals who are trying to silence people, but the conservatives are trying to get Bill Maher fired now because he compared Trump to an ape. It's like anybody. It's like, well, that's different because he's a white guy. Yeah, you can do that to Trump. But that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying right there is like that's a white guy. Yeah, you can do that to Trump. But that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying right there. That's just an interpretation.

So that's what I mean. She, as a woman, you get that thing. She's like, I'm a woman. I'm hideous. You know what I mean? She knows she's ugly. She's an older woman. She's not a looker.

She's disgusting. So she feels like, i can say i could call another woman ugly because i'm ugly that's probably her thought process and she i don't hate that by the way and she put it out there and then it's like then it was translated to now she's the most racist person in the world i think i think she misspoke i think she said something that wasn't funny and it was out of place and she's now a public figure on a on the highest rated show on tv so it's high profile she made a mistake and now she's being a public figure on the highest rated show on TV. So it's high profile.

She made a mistake, and now she's being punished for it. I think that in my mind, it's always like funny kind of trumps all. If it's funny and the joke lands and people are enjoying it, I think you're good. But check this out. The moment that someone doesn't find it funny, then it has to stand on the merits of the words. Right, right, right, right. And at that point is when these kind of things happen. But sometimes I read things.

You hear about, like, it's like that Kanye West, you know, the whole thing about slavery. Oh, yeah. You know, I heard that, and then I read it, and I went, I don't know if he really meant what they're saying. Right. But it's like at this point, you know. Well, that's also a product of Twitter where you're speaking in short bursts where it's like the second and third and fourth tweet kind of explain, oh, I was just talking about freeing your mind and not thinking about old school ways. But that first tweet didn't say that.

You know, it's like, you know, no one reads the whole chain. So speaking in such short sound bites that go viral, one goes viral, one doesn't. And all of a sudden. Twitter should let you write as many characters as you want. They should let you just, you know, people just, then it would be like all the spelling police and grammar police would be out in full. I mean, I think that giving the general public more might not be a bad idea. It would be a bad idea.

I think we need to keep it. I think there are far too many stupid people who are able to get their shit out there. If you want to be able to say anything you want or as long as you want, you go to Facebook and you see what your uncle's been saying. It's like, all right. How do you like these new Facebook commercials, though? This is one of my favorites. Hey, guys. We were fucking up.

Yeah. We were all about that money. We're back. Uber's doing the same thing. Wells Fargo. Wells Fargo's like We got greedy Every commercial break

During the NBA finals Is just like a major corporation Being like look Sorry Sorry bro Didn't mean to do it It's just every company 7-Eleven

It doesn't even matter We got caught We're gonna work on it I promise We got a new CEO Commercial should just be Busted We're so sorry

Please come back to us. I'm waiting for Brian Colangelo, the Sixers GM's apology. You see his whole shit last night? You know Sam Hickey's at home just in his underwear like, I told y'all. You know Sam Hickey sent that email. I know. Sam Hickey was in his underwear at home being like, check this out. Send.

In the article, they didn't say Sam Hickey, but in the article they said it was like someone, they were snitched on by someone who's working heavily in artificial intelligence. And that's what Sam Hickey's doing at Stanford. Oh, well. I mean, he was for sure the guy who ratted him out. When they win a championship in a couple years. Send that guy a ring. He's got to get a ring.

I just don't understand, especially at this point, you've got to get rid of Colangelo. Just bring Hickey back and let him try to see this process through. I don't understand why they had a problem letting him see it through anyway. They should have a commercial like Facebook, too. Yeah, exactly. We're sorry. We lost our way.

We were good with you, and then we forgot about you, and now we're bringing you back. Sorry, bud. Why not? Have you ever thought about a burner account or anything like that? One Twitter account too mighty for you? No. Like the critics

you were just talking about? Look, Eric's funny, man. I feel like I know. How dare you? No, I just... Because then you go to the... It's funny how you go to a blog site

and then you go to the person's Twitter that wrote this thing and they've got a thousand followers or something like that. You just go, oh, this guy's a've got like, you know, a thousand followers or something like that. You just go, oh, this guy's a loser.

Yeah. Yeah. He's not really. And you look at their picture. So important to do that sometimes. Some weird little white guy or something. You're just like, oh, OK, this is his world. That's his life.

Yeah. It's just a trash things. And then you just go, OK, fine. You know, what are you supposed to do? It's very it's actually the best. Like any time someone's a dick, you just open up the picture. It's like, oh, you look like you've got you've got some guy, it's actually the best. Like, anytime someone's a dick, you just open up the picture and it's like, oh, what do you look like? You got some guy the other day in that suit.

Oh, yeah. I mean, the Twitter avatar is really, the people who are, like, annoying fucking trolls seem to really always pick the worst goddamn picture. I just think that you shouldn't be allowed to have, like, you should have your name. Yeah, absolutely. Right. Your Twitter name should be, my name is Eric Griffin. That's my Twitter name. Right. That's what you should be for everybody. If you're going to be putting those, you got to put your name. Yeah, absolutely. Right. Your Twitter name should be, my name is Eric Griffin. That's my Twitter name.

Right. That's what you should be for everybody. If you're going to be putting those, you've got to put your name to it. If you're going to be putting stuff out there, you're going to be being rude and disrespectful or whatever it is, put it out there. You know, you just, but hey, what are we supposed to do? I mean, there's good and bad to it, but I do think it's mostly good. Oh, I think I'm the opposite.

No, I think that it's still a good thing that people have a voice. You don't have to listen to it. Right, right, right. Because people have opinions, and so before, we didn't hear them. We didn't get to hear them or try to translate them or understand them. They just were silent. So now it's not silent. So now

what we don't really like is we don't like how it makes us feel. Right. Well, sometimes they hit you with some truth. It's like, fuck. Yeah. Damn, my Twitter troll's right. You had a good run on Workaholics. Yeah, good on Workaholics. It just looks like this is very much a Workaholics environment in here.

Yeah, well, we had the guys come through. Actually, we talked to them at Sirius, and then we did a thing with Blake at a Mexican restaurant for Cinco de Mayo. Oh, Blake. The perfect three guys to do Cinco de Mayo. I'm surprised we didn't get in trouble for that. You mean to tell me that the white guys had a white guy on for Cinco de Mayo? Why am I not surprised?

All we needed to do, we should have put on a sombrero and just cultural appropriation would have gone through the fucking roof, man. There's nachos. Oh, there were nachos, yeah. Taquitos. It was... Blake was... You know, he got signed by Dos Aquis

to make Cinco Aquis. And it's the same Aquis but with three more Xs. And then he was kind of doing like an ad read for it and we were there. We were the white guys.

We were the appropriators. Yeah. Those guys are great. I love those guys. Yeah, was that a fun... It was a fun experience. I mean, how many seasons? We did seven seasons and, you know, it was great. It's like one, how many seasons? We did seven seasons, and it was great.

It's one of those things where it's great to be on a show that's people's favorite show. Yeah. It's like people still... Cult status type shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every day, somebody's like, oh, man, what's up, Montez? And Montez was a particularly weird-ass character. Yeah, exactly.

Montez and what was it, Wayman? Wayman? Yeah, Wayman, Jet Set, and all the weird guys in the office. So that's why it was weird for character. Yeah, exactly. Montez and what was it? Wayman? Wayman? Yeah, Wayman, Jetset, and all the weird guys in the office. So that's why it was weird for me. It was great for me,

actually, to go from like workaholics being crazy Montez to go to I'm Dying Up Here where it's like this more serious, you know, meaty role.

So that was like, I'm really glad to be on that show which is on Sundays at 10 p.m. on Showtime. Nice, nice. I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm a pro, I'm really glad to be on that show, which is on Sundays at 10 p.m. on Showtime. Nice, nice. I'm a pro, motherfuckers.

I feel like a lot of comedians just prefer to stick to funny. Obviously, that's not you. But you got into it in comedy. Yeah, I am a comedian. I wanted to do comedy. But I got to say, I really enjoy doing the drama. I find it easier because to like because you just you know you're just living in these moments as opposed to like like deciding if this is funny

making people laugh it's like a weird thing because sometimes it goes against your instincts because maybe I don't find what's happening funny but the people watching find it funny so you have to be aware of that and that's why you know sometimes you see comedians and roles and they're being big and they're pushing too hard it's pushing too hard. It's because I'm trying to make this funny. Yeah. You know, and I realize that less is more sometimes. Did you do, like, acting classes or anything like that? Yeah, I took a few acting classes when I first started, you know, doing improv and acting and all that.

And then just being on stage. I think you're so different, but you crush it, obviously. I mean, just doing stand-up, it's also a form of acting, so that's like you're practicing that all the time, you know, because you have to do the same thing every single time or, you know, you're in a moment, you're playing a character, you're playing an exaggerated version of yourself. So, you know, you have to—there's some acting in that, in the performance. Yeah, no, no, no, I just think the drama is just so much different. I feel like it would be hard to transition. I can't think of, like, a ton of people who are stand-ups who also do the dramas,

do serious drama. Robin Williams did that. Chris Tucker is doing that. There's a number of them. What does Chris Tucker like as far as serious go? Great. Didn't you see, what's the Silver Linings playbook? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah, watching too much porn, motherfucker. And your novels. Erotic novels. Yeah, watching too much porn, motherfucker. And your novels. Erotic novels. I want to specify. Oh, I'm sorry. He needs to specify.

Hey, man, it's not just novels. It's erotic novels. I don't do the New York Times bestseller shit. I do the smut. All right, well, the Specialist American Warrior, it's out on Showtime. It's going to be out June 8th, Showtime, Friday, 10 p.m. on Showtime. Yeah, watch it. You're doing Caroline's all weekend, too, right?

Caroline's all weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. So come out to that. If you go to my website, ericgriffin.com, with a K, E-R-I-K, griffin.com, I got the link to buy tickets there. You've got to just change your name, man. You've got to change that to a C So you don't have to say that No

Fuck you How dare you I spell it like a I spell it like a Viking man I'm a warrior An American warrior Friday June 8th

10pm on Showtime Eric Griffin Awesome stuff Great stuff man