KFC Radio - KFCradio: Wilmer Valderrama

Episode Date: July 10, 2018

Wilmer Valderrama joins the show (44:10) to tell us about a time he almost got arrested for terrorism, his thick rolodex of celebrity, NCIS, Awake, and the debut of the 2nd season of his show Hollywood Puppet show. Voicemails include Alien Sex, getting mistaken for a gay dude, Gun To Your Head: never see your reflection again OR always see your reflection, KFC's disastrous trip to the movies, Alone Together Happy Hour coming July 19th! Episode brought to you by:Tommy John tommyjohn.com/kfc for 20% offBlue Apron BlueApron.com/kfc for THREE FREE MEALSHoney joinhoney.com/kfc to join for FREEMVMT mvmt.com/kfc for 15% offzipRecruiter ziprecuiter.com/kfc to join for FREEYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Today's episode of KFC Radio is brought to you by Tommy John. Summertime is a disaster for your dick and balls. Fights is pulling out his Tommy John. He's rocking him right now. He's giving himself a front wedgie. It's the dick and balls in the summertime. I don't know why I did that video. Well, we got it. Well, we got it.

No, we got it. We got cameras running. Don't worry. Go to KC Radio Twitter. We'll show you John. Just give himself a front wedgie to show off. So tell me John's. Well, let's not.

No, we'll do that. Let's not confirm that yet. I got to see how my stomach looks. Yeah, no, we'll do that. We'll do that. Listen, you stand up in the middle of Barstool's office while you're performing. You pull out your fucking gut and your underwear. It's happening.

I sucked in while I did it, though. So maybe it looks good. Yo, summertime here in this city. Disaster. It's happening. I sucked in while I did it, though, so maybe it looks good. Yo, summertime here in this city, disaster. Bad. Bad scene. It's like, you know, and also, really, what's up with, like, dicks and balls? Why, you know, why is it all hanging on the outside? What is the deal with dicks and balls?

Like, you know how they say, you know, you know why your balls are on the outside? So your semen doesn't die. Right, but, like, so why have we not just evolved so that it can be on the inside? Oh, I don't know. I think that would look so weird if we just didn't have balls. But only because we're used to balls. It's only because it's in your head. You're like, we need balls.

But the fact that we just have this ball bag hanging between our legs is crazy. It is a little strange. Yeah. Is this an ad read? Yes. Yeah, we're getting to it. Relax. Talk about dicks and balls for a second.

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Yeah, it's like taking a nap. Yeah, it's casual. It's relaxing. It's comfortable. Just lay down. In fact, you know what I always do when I go away? I always make sure I have a pair of Tommy Johns for the plane ride there and back. That's smart.

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Go to TommyJohn.com slash KFC. Get 20% off that first order. They got t-shirts and loungewear on top of it, but the underwear is what we're talking about. Go to TommyJohn.com slash KFC. Back in action after the 4th of July week off. That's a special week for people at Barstool. The week, Christmas to New Year's and the 4th of July week

are like the times that we have off. And oh boy, do I cherish those. They're the best. I soaked in this vacation. Although I've been on, I went on my first vacation in a while, so I haven't worked in a month. Oh yeah, you have I don't know why they did this on purpose, subconsciously

but you have mail timed to perfection. You haven't worked in a month. Yeah, it's been like. You pop in, you do a couple podcasts here and there and that's it. It's amazing. It was between LA, Portugal We haven't missed anything really. That's how easy our job is. But yo, any, Portugal, and 4th of July. But you haven't missed anything, really. You timed it so perfectly. That's how easy our job is.

But, yo, any job, though, you time it right with the summer and the 4th of July dead period, and you can take 10 days off and miss two days of work period. It's amazing. I watched so much television. Because it was also that heat wave, you know what I mean? So it was like, I can't go outside you kidding me it's too hot I'll melt 95 degrees plus I watched four

entire seasons of TV I haven't watched four seasons what shows cumulatively in years I watched the five from my man Harlan Coben oh yeah yeah that guy we're gonna get him in the studio he's a Jersey guy he's a sick pup.

In your brain, it's like we always say about when you write horror movies and shit, something's wrong with you. When you can write these weird psychological thrillers with the twists and turns and whodunit and shit, something's wrong with you. That guy's fucked up. He's not well. The five you recommend? I do.

I do. Harlan's shit is like, there's almost like too many turns and twists. Like every other episode, there's like, oh, shit. shit oh i mean with like safe it was every single episode yes wait what right i mean there were things that i thought were going to be the entire focus of the season that got resolved in like an episode it's like nope on to the next thing so i'm down with the five very entertaining uh and then i watched then i watched some nerd shit i watched some nerd shit you are a fucking such a sneaky nerd

I said that and you were like what you're not a nerd I'm a nerd bro it's a compliment to you where like it's like I forget you're a nerd and then you remind me

if you just stop reminding me no I'm proud of it you proud of your nerddom yes sir so I watched 3% it's from Brazil

that sounds like something that was stolen from me. So in Brazil, you live on the mainland and it's trash. Life just fucking sucks. And when you turn 20 years old, you go and you take a series of tests. You have to compete. And then only 3% of the population gets to go live on this island. That's fucking paradise.

So it's almost like Willy Wonka. Like, you got to go through the fucking factory and prove your worth. You got to do all these, like, you got to pass these tests, and it's all, like, these mind games and shit, and only 3% get to go. But then there are the people who are like, fuck this, this isn't fair, live in life this way. Like, what about the 97%? It's kind of, like, lost.

It's kind of, of like social and political commentary it's foreign though it's got the dubbed over I hated it I forced myself to do it can you put it in Portuguese and just watch the subtitles yes but I put it in English and watched the subtitles it just sounds like you're listening to like a book on tape

like you can tell it's someone who's like watching and just kind of like saying it I would definitely just use the original Portuguese. That's fine. There were a lot of people saying that, too. You don't support the gay state, so you maybe just wouldn't even need the subtitles. Then I just kept it rolling with the dubbed over shit. Wait, do you think you would make it 3%?

No. I mean, it's like you got to be an astronaut. You got to be a genius. You got to be physically capable. I was going to say, as long as intelligence is in fact, there's nothing I can do. No, it's mostly intelligence. There's all sorts of... I'm out then. It's all mind games and puzzles and mazes.

I think I'd get an exception. Why? The very first thing you have to pass is there's people from the 3% who are already passed who are like, why should you be it? You have to sell yourself. I couldn't do that. You'd be out. You you be it and you have to like sell yourself oh i mean i couldn't you'd be out yeah you'd be like oh you know what to be honest don't really

deserve can i get an agent for this like can i get someone to talk good about me because i can't they'd be like uh why should you be here i shouldn't sir i'm out of here goodbye goodbye uh so then i i was able i banged out the whole season doing the dubbed over thing so I kept it going with The Rain which is another I think it's Swedish it's some like sci-fi shit what are you just searching

for dubbed movies? no but it was almost like I think it you know how Netflix it does the matches for you so this is like some Walking Dead type shit

oh you like international films yeah basically this guy must be ritzy The Rain is like The Walking Dead's type of vibe. The rain is poisoned. Like there's something. Oh, I've heard about this one.

Yeah. And so you've got to live indoors. And then it gets a little Walking Dead-ish. And you're trying to survive and find shelter. So that was cool. And then I watched, what was the other one? It was the fourth one. I can't even remember how much TV I watched.

Forget a whole season. A whole season of something how much TV I watched. Forget a whole season. A whole season of something. And then I watched Death Wish, the movie that we promoted the fuck out of on KFC radio. It was great. Yeah. It was, it was some,

it was some like Bruce. It was like exactly what we build up. And when we talked about it, I was like, yeah, man, this is exactly what it was. Like vigilante murder.

His nickname is the grim reaper in it. And he's just like, he's just killing motherfuckers keith didn't like it but that's because he's like mr keith keith keith looks at the critic score yeah come and end so it was like 15 critics 80 audience that's what's up that's how you know it's a great movie so i was just binging i was binging my dick off and it was everything I've ever loved. And then I took it a step further, and I did a little alone together after my last foray, which failed miserably, the now infamous Cheesy Gordita Crunch incident,

which I wish was like an ad deal. People were accusing me of being like, this is all for Taco Bell, isn't it? Because people were tweeting me pictures left and right of them eating cheesy gordita crunches. I was like, shit, we should have got paid for this. But sometimes the best ad deals are the natural ones. We tell people, we don't only try to sneak ads, we say, this is an ad.

I mean, honestly, that would have been the best ad of all time if I was like, alright, so, okay, Taco Bell, hear me out. I'm going to sneak my shit into the air, into the theater, I'm going to run away in fear, it's going to be be great so i go to see jurassic world also a good film good good cinematic experience i still have to see that one i it was like i went into a thing it was gonna be really bad because i was like come on all right we're we've gone too far with jurassic and it's absurd but you can't go too far with jurassic correct it's like you put dinosaurs on screen i'm in so now

jurassic world the fallen kingdom or if i just call it jurassic park again it is jurassic park You can't go too far with Jurassic. Correct. It's like you put dinosaurs on screen, I'm in. So now, Jurassic World, The Fallen Kingdom, or I just call it Jurassic Park again. It is Jurassic Park plus Dante's Peak plus Taken. Oh my goodness. Yeah. This thing is over. I'm going right now. Yeah, it's an experience.

And there's going to be a lot of fun shit to talk about. So when we do Alone Together, we all get together at the bar and talk about Jurassic Park. There'll be some fun moments to discuss. But I go to the movies. I go July 4th. I'm with my family. And I wanted snacks.

Nobody else did. So they went in. And I'm waiting on lines. It's that new Rock City, new Rochelle. It took me, I think, like 35 minutes to get my fucking food. Why? I picked what I thought was the shortest line. Just looking at sheer number of people.

Like this is the shortest one. The guy was moving in absolute slow motion. The first hurdle I encountered, this guy, I'm like two or three behind him, and he gets up to the front. And so I'm counting. I'm like, all right, one, two, three, four. Like, all right, he's going to get a cup of popcorn.

He's going to get a soda. We're good to go this guy gets up front his whole fucking family comes from another line and i'm telling you like donald trump would not have liked these people being in this country and so there's there's like seven of them they all get monster slurpees and monster popcorn buckets it took a solid like 10 minutes just to, it had to be $150. So that was the first event. Then, I mean, and the whole time this guy's just going like so slow. Then, now I'm two people up. I'm like, I'm almost there.

This old lady and her husband, clearly on a little matinee date, she wants to get her concessions. She wants to pay with a gift card that she does not have with her. The guy was like, all right, where's the gift card? She's like, oh, I don't have it with me. He was like, well, alright, what do you want me to do? That's like being like, I'm going to pay with money, but I don't have any cash. You just have to take my word for it.

What, are you just going to give me the shit for free and just pretend that I gave you a gift card? She calls the manager over. They're arguing. I'm like, I'm sitting there, I'm literally rubbing my face, I'm spinning around, I'm huffing and puffing so that people're arguing. I'm like, I'm sitting there. I'm literally rubbing my face. I'm spinning around. I'm huffing and puffing so that people hear me. I'm like, they can't pay with a gift card if you don't have the fucking gift card.

So eventually she finally caves in. That was like another five-minute ordeal. I get up to the counter. It's finally my turn. And the guy decides now it's his time to put all the popcorn kernels in and refill all of this and that. I had to be like, yo, come on. Come on. Come on.

You have to serve me now. Then I ordered nachos. I just wanted some fucking nachos. And the cheese machine is out. So he's opening it up and he's squeezing this bag, which is not appealing. It's like, I just want to see you push the button and i had to be like yo dude go to the other cheese machine at the end to fucking fill up my cheese and i want extra cheese too it took 30 goddamn minutes just to get my how did you like did you miss most of the movie i i missed all the previews there was that many previews but i like my previews yeah

but you've been going to the movie so much recently that you've seen all the previews i yeah i have seen a lot yeah that's that's how i get to it i usually love the previews. Yeah. But you've been going to the movies so much recently that you've seen all the previews. Yeah, I have seen a lot of them. That's how I get, too. I usually love the previews. Until you've seen them all. I've seen all of them. Yeah, yeah. So you need to get there like half an hour late.

I'm back. I'm back with my TV and my movies, and I feel so good. Feels where I belong. You were out for a while. I mean, it's tough. Kids and shit. Yeah, the kids are tough because it's like constantly whatever they want to watch. So now it's just like, I'm putting you to bed in one of the movies.

You're going to go to the pool for the day? I'm going to go to the movies. It's just, I'm home. I feel good again. I've fallen off. I've fallen off of TV and movies. I keep texting John. You see that?

He's like, nope. What the fuck is this about? You know what? And also just like my office addiction is a hindrance where I just. You just do nothing but watch The Office. I mean, the commitment to that is staggering. It's just comfort. You know, it's just like you're home and I'm home with The Office.

Yeah. I mean, but it's like at this point you have seen every episode like 12 times. Yeah. It's wild. I'm on season six again. Would you not get bored eventually? Not really. No. I don on season six again. Would you not get bored eventually? Not really, no. I don't at all.

Alone together, we're locking in for the 19th? I think Thursday the 19th. So not this Thursday, the next Thursday? Yes. Yeah. Do we know for sure? We'd said Wednesday the 18th before. Right, we'll make it a Thursday night.

We'll do a little Thursday night happy hour. Go catch Jurassic Park. There'll be some fun moments to talk about. There were some sad-ass moments, man. Some moments that I was tearing up. Not really. There was one moment that I was like, god damn, that was funny. That was so sad. It was funny.

Dead dinosaurs and shit. Spoiler! Dinosaur dies? No way. No way. We got Wilmer Valderrama coming up later in today's episode. You know him from That 70s Show and dating just about every Hollywood superstar that has ever walked the planet Earth. He's got a new show out. So, yeah, we've been told we're supposed to avoid that, but we probably won't.

And as always, we got voicemails. So shall we get into them? Yes, please. Voicemail is brought to you by Blue Apron. They deliver farm-fresh ingredients with a step-by-step recipe delivered to your door that makes cooking simple. It gives you all the fresh ingredients so you know. Half the battle with cooking is like I don't even know what to buy.

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blueapron.com slash KFC. What's up, KFC? Hi, Superdude to DC. So I got a little question to ask. I was scrolling, you know, watching my usual videos. I don't know if it was the topic of the day. And I like to sometimes mix my reality with what's on the screen. So I hop over to one of the moms I know in real life who happens to be one of my good buddy's moms.

And she's got a couple promiscuous pictures on Facebook that I was looking at. Well, when I was scrolling, I accidentally hit the like button. I unliked it so fucking quickly, but it's still going to show up in her notifications my question is has this ever happened to you how do i go about this my buddy has called me once and i've missed the call i'm scared he's already calling to kick my ass i don't know let me know what you think i mean there's a lot lot going on here this is super creepy this is weird now it's creepy to look at your mom your your friend's mom's photos, I guess. But, like, here's the thing.

Nobody knew all that porn shit until you said that. If you were just like, oh, yeah, man, I was, like, looking through some pictures. I saw your mom. I liked the picture or whatever. I don't understand how that happens. Now we all know that you were, like, jerking off and you wanted to look at a mom. So you went and found, you know, Bobby's mom and looked at that. You know, now it's creepy.

Nobody had to know that until you admitted that. That's true. You just take that to your grave. Right. I just don't understand how this happens. You've never accidentally liked? No, never. I'm more careful with that than I am with anything in the whole world.

I definitely go to scroll and I hit the like by accident, or I definitely do it know I go to scroll and I hit the like by accident or I've done I've done like I definitely do it on Twitter a lot you know when like oh I accidentally follow sometimes that I do I end up hitting the like button because sometimes when your tweets are loading

it like it loads right as you go to like scroll up again to make it load and I end up hitting the heart and I'm like ah no I don't fuck with that it easier on twitter because it's twitter just one light one tap you gotta double tap everything else yeah yeah yeah double taps i mean again i feel like i've had like a like it's frozen type of thing almost like i'm trying to scroll and it's doing like the little pinwheel and i'm like i've liked it i don't think it's as easy as like i don't think it happens all the time but i can't happen i guess this is a different a different thing for like us too like i don't think it's as easy as like, I don't think it happens all the time, but I can't happen.

I guess this is a different, a different thing for like us too. Like I don't notice when people like my pictures. Yeah. But most people, you know, likes are hard to come by. Yeah. You live and die by likes. And especially if you're a mom and you see like a young guy that you used to like, you know, promiscuous pictures. What kind of promiscuous pictures do you have on Facebook, mom?

I mean, now that's the other side here is that if you are the type of mom that when someone is watching MILF porn is like, I gotta go look at her pictures, then maybe you're looking for that attention anyway. Maybe this is all good. Maybe this is like, you know, everybody's

happy here. He opened up a possibility, a new avenue. Right, right. This is maybe just like a little sup. It's like shooting your shot. Shooting your shot at your friend's mom is not a move I would recommend. No. No, I wouldn't do that.

I mean, but for him to think, like, let's say you did this. You know what you do? Do you think my mom would be like, hey, Kev, Feidelberg liked my photo. There's a long chain for that to all unfold to the point that I would be calling you to be like, did you like my mom's photo? I think I just came up with the plan here. If you ever double tap someone, like a long time ago, just start commenting the N-word and stuff. I'm hacked. And then be like, sorry, I was hacked.

I think that's foolproof. Just go all the way. Yeah. If you, if you, if you, there's a line and once you cross it, you might as well fully cross it.

You can make up anything. So I'm saying like, I want to fuck your face and stuff like that. Right. And then be like, dude, I was hacked. I don't know what that was all about.

I think that's the only play. If you're, if you're not, that's one, that's one line. Why don't you show your pussy? Or just start commenting exactly what you're doing. Sorry,

I was watching porn. I was watching milk when I wanted to jerk off to you. Sorry, I was hacked. Watching milk porn is kind of a thing that I didn't think really happened. What do you mean? Like, I didn't think people really like specifically like sought out the milk porn.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I feel like it was like a thing but i really didn't think that people are like i guess i don't type in milf but i know of like i know the porn star milfs i like like who like lisa ann she's like the one i'll throw lisa and a like in there sometimes. There's like Ava Adams. Yeah, she can get it. Brandy Love. These are just like old. Phoenix Marie is a MILF now. These are just old. Yeah, these are old porn stars that we have grown up with. It's not necessarily that you're looking for a MILF.

When you search like MILF porn, it's going to be like mom-oriented. Okay, I stand corrected. I certainly stand corrected for at least one person here. John was giving me the puppy dog head cock. Like, what? I mean, I don't, again, I don't search MILF. It's like the stepsister shit. It's like, are people really out here searching for the incest stuff?

I guess so. It doesn't have to be like a MILF role. She doesn't have to be playing a mom with her friend or her son's friend around. It just means older. I don't need the MILF storyline. I watched an incest video for pretty much the first time the other day. This one was good.

It was like some intense shit. It was like they were really stepmom and stepson. I was like, this is some shit right here. It was cool. I thought you were going to go the other way with it. No, I was like, you know what?

I get it. I thought about it differently. My brain was just thinking differently this time. So if you find yourself ever liking your friend's mom's photo uh just stop dropping the m-bomb say the n-word yeah what's up kfc fights bc uh first time long time so i uh i got a little story to tell you guys so the other night at work um i work in a restaurant and someone at one of the tables for one of our servers wrote their phone number down on their receipt and wrote a note saying to give it to me and so at the end of the night i got it and i was just like oh shit

this is pretty cool so the next day i texted this number and turns out it was a dude. And so, I mean, now I don't, I don't even know what the fuck to think anymore. I kind of feel like, I kind of feel like Andy in that episode of the office when, uh, when someone starts to rumor that he's gay and then he doesn't know if he's gay. So I don't know, man man maybe this means i'm gay or something about me seems gay so i don't know just want to hear your thoughts viva i mean this is a huge compliment right yeah we've always said this i've told this story before when me and lou were living in boston together and we took these three girls home really like proud of ourselves thinking

we're gonna like smash three chicks i don't have a threesome yeah maybe maybe just a five some i don't know how it was gonna go but we were like fuck yeah and then they were they thought it was weird that we had two separate rooms and we kind of just like brushed off that comment like when we were giving like the tour of the apartment and they're like oh you guys have separate rooms we're like yeah whatever like no we can afford a two bedroom. And then like an hour later, the moves are starting to go on. They're like, oh, we thought you guys were gay. And I think they expected that to really upset us.

And we were like, fuck yeah! Like high-fived each other, sucked each other's dicks. Started coming everywhere. Like, these dick sticks are gay yeah we see a dick um it was it was uh i mean it was like it's the nicest comment i've ever been paid to someone yeah yeah i mean but i guess it's different if a guy thinks you're gay because like then you do put off like gay well that's that that's that is the x factor like a girl thinking you're gay probably just means like you are well dressed and you like seem in touch with like this, that, the other thing.

A gay guy thinks you're gay. That means like he looks at you up and down. He's like, this guy looks like he sucks dick. That's a different story. I've slept with men before. This looks like a guy who sleeps with men. Yeah, this guy, he looks like he likes to get butt fucked by dudes. That's not the vibe you want to put out there.

The girl thinks you're gay vibe is the exact vibe you want to go for. The guy thinks you're gay vibe is only a good vibe if you're gay. Yeah, I guess. Well, guys think I'm gay all the time, but like they're like, like, like, but not gay guys. Right. Not gay. Like if a gay guy thinks you're gay, if a straight guy thinks you're gay, he's like, you know, probably he's got his own like closeted issues. A gay guy thinks you're gay he's like you know probably he's got his own like closeted issues a gay guy thinks you're gay it's like you you gotta at least that makes you pause like wait a minute

how am i carrying what is what is the me i'm presenting to the right yeah why does a gay guy want to fuck right i don't think he can fuck and is that me is that a misunderstanding am i just learning something about myself now am i gay you have to at least, I'm not saying that if a gay guy thinks you're gay, that poof, you have to become gay. But you have to think about it for a second. You have to examine the way you operate in the world. Right, because it's not just how you dress. It's like, what am I saying?

What am I doing? What vibe am I putting out there that makes this guy think we're going to butt fuck? I mean, that's a conversation every guy has with himself. Like, am I gay? And then you go, no. I mean, it was a very quick one for me. It shouldn't take too long. It was Charles in Charge.

Jamie. That's how I knew. That's when you became straight? Yep. That was it. I mean, it was mostly. Is Jamie a guy or a girl? It was a girl.

It was, right? Jamie? What's her name? Summer? I think there was two totally families from Charles in Charge. I mean, she was eventually a Baywatch girl. Yes, Nicole Eggert. I think that Jamie sounds right.

Yeah. So, Nicole Eggert, she went on to be a Baywatch girl. She was the daughter in Charles in Charge. And then, like, shortly thereafter was Kelly Kapowski. Mine was a twofer, I think, actually. Jamie Powell. I guess Kelly Kapowski probably came first, but I think the first time where I was like, oh, I like this, was Tyra Banks

on Cover Sports Illustrated. Hey, look at this progressive guy over here. I was like, I like women and black women. In the red polka dot, the pink polka dot. Yep, yep, yep, yep. That was a good one. That was a big one for sure. I'm trying to think. That was probably like, I had a crush on Kelly Kapowski, but it was like an elementary school crush. I think it was like, oh, I want to fuck that.

Natasha Henstridge in Species was when I was like, I will fuck that girl even if she's an alien that impregnates me with an alien baby and ruins my life. That is something I want to fuck. So not only am I straight, but I'm into some sort of alien bestiality thing. Yeah, everybody has their moments where they know, and it usually happens pretty early on. I think if it goes past, like, I don't know, we're talking like first grade type of shit, right?

Can you look that up? What year was Tyra Banks on the cover? This would be great if John was like 17. I think it was definitely later than first grade. I want to say it was probably late elementary first grade. It was, I mean, I want to say it's probably late elementary school. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I'm probably like mid-middle, mid-elementary school for me,

like second, third type grade for Charles in Charge. Either way, I feel like, you know, you know relatively quickly. Yeah, if you're a working man. If you're a working man and you don't know for sure. You got some questions to ask yourself. Maybe time for a longer conversation right it looks like 97 okay so that would be i guess i was i was nine and maybe eight yeah that's that's okay that's fine you know that's that's some normal shit right there charles in charge is when you're hoping i want to fuck that yes yeah pretty much you might not think want to fuck that? Yes. Pretty much. You might not think so, but yes.

That's right around the age that you should know what's going on. But again, so listen, if some gay guy hits on you and you're not gay, you maybe want to just examine yourself, but also still wear this as a badge of honor, because it means you are still put together in such a way that a gay guy was like, yes, please. Yes. Hey, boys.

I got a would you rather, but this one's a little bit weird, so hold on to your tits. Would you rather always have a mirror in your periphery so you can kind of see yourself at all times or never be able to start a conversation with somebody so you can't just walk up to anyone say hey how's it going you always have to be talked to let me know thanks guys i live the second one already you never start a conversation you also kind of live the first one because any sort of reflective surface you will be looking at yourself in it it's crazy a window a mirror a stainless steel pot like anything that can reflect it's my superpower i can find a mirror in any situation yeah yeah my superpower is my vanity my my vain attempt to see you guys have been watching the vlogs back yeah and you both have heart attacks about the way you look.

Yeah, we're ugly. I look better in this fucking Dell reflection right here than I do on a goddamn video camera. But this Dell right here, I'm kind of killing it right now. Yeah, mirrors are much more forgiving than camera. The camera is vicious. It adds 20 pounds and ugly. It doesn't make any sense. It's not even weight.

It's just like, you're ugly. Dude, this weekend I had a wedding on the. Dude, I was like this weekend, I was staying at like, I had a wedding on the Cape and I was staying at a house that had a full body mirror in the bedroom I was staying in. I just stared at myself for like five minutes. I was looking great in that mirror. Probably not. Probably not that good. I was looking fucking good.

I was looking good. I was tan. I was looking hot. Oh, you were naked while you were looking at it? Of course I was naked. Don't ask stupid questions. Yeah, I was looking. Oh, you were naked while you were looking at it? Of course I was naked. Don't ask stupid questions. Yeah, I was super naked. Well, I just figured that your dick would be in the reflection there and we all know that your dick's not great. We all know that after LA.

The dick was in the reflection too. But it was, I don't know, it was all just working. And then he put a camera on me and it just did not work anymore. So how about that? Would you rather in your vision is always a video of yourself, or you can't ever look in the mirror?

So constant reflection or no reflection? And the reflection you don't, you know, the negative reflection. I need to take it. I would need to take the video. You need to be able to see yourself. Yeah. I'm out. Just because, like, I can't go out in the public without, like,

looking at myself in the mirror first. I can't just get dressed and be like that probably works I have to look at it and see okay yes this outfit does work I get dressed no you don't it's not like you're wearing a new outfit every day John you know like this shirt

this is my first time wearing this shirt I didn't know how it was going to go it's going great it's going fantastic. You're right. But I only know that because I saw it this morning. I would rather. I mean, the constant reflection days when you're sick, days when you're hung over, days where you don't really just want to try. Like, you know, I'm a big ignorance is bliss guy.

So on the days where, like, I'm not not gonna get ready and doll myself up i don't want to see myself i'm just gonna pretend that i look good and if i have to always acknowledge my looks no thank you no i have to i have to there's no possible way i could go out my because my my like morning routine is in my in the shower i that's where i put together my outfit okay while i'm shampooing by my hand like when i can go with that and that and i compare that with these shoes we all know we all know that's a lie of a story because you don't shampoo. It's true. I don't shampoo. I was just kind of thinking of my head. The rest

is true. The shampooing is false. But I do. I put it all together in my head. I'm trying to think what I could wear with what and then I get out and put it on and I see confirmation from the mirror and I'm like, John, you were right again, you beautiful bitch. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's the fucking fairest of them all johnny's

like me it's me me you look good you beautiful son of a bitch um so like yeah i need that that's part of my morning routine johnny reflections over here i think i'm taking no mirror i don't know because there are just crucial times where it's like you need to make sure you don't have anything stuck in your teeth you need to be able to have no reflection ever. It's tough. Yeah, you got to be a ghost. Yeah. Vampires, right?

Vampires, yeah. What about the other side? He said you can never start a conversation. What if... Easy peasy. That's perfect. Never start a conversation versus... I live my life if I don't speak unless spoken to.

Yeah, that is a very good rule. But, like, what about But what about ordering food or you have to have the waitress say something to you first or something. You can't engage anybody. They do. What about this? You call someone to order. First of all, Seamus. Secondly, you call someone to order food.

It's like, hi, how can I help you? Right. What about, I mean, you probably don't like this in general, but you can't go up to a girl and try to talk to her. Don't do it. You're not going to talk to her. Don't do it. You're not going to do that anyway. Don't do it. And actually, I feel like if you were the guy who is playing so hard to get because you have a magical curse on you by which you cannot start conversations, you would be so attractive. Yeah.

Because it'd be like, that guy hasn't even spoken a word to anybody. It's like, well, joke's on you because I physically can't because of the magic. Who is that guy just quietly in the corner? It's me. It's always me. Then she comes over. Which side do you want then? I want both.

Right. You probably want to start a conversation, right, where you have to start every conversation because then people will actually have to leave you alone. Right. So you would actually, yeah, you would want that you always have to start and then you just never would. And then you would never talk to anybody. Oh.

Because it's the other way around. That's basically just current life where people will just come up to you whenever they want to. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I would choose solitary confinement forever. You would choose to start the conversation and just not exercise it. I'm proof positive that solitary confinement is like, is like mental torture. Yeah. Like it will fuck you up because I've voluntarily been in it.

And hi, I'm John. I think I'll take a, I gotta be able to start the conversation and I probably will, will utilize it like a normal human. Just because if there ever is an instance where you need to get something done and you can't speak to someone, I'll go like, I mean, I went crazy when I was stuck on the concessions line at the movies.

It was driving me fucking nuts. And if I got to, like, the line and I couldn't, like, do something, I would go nuts. Dude, see, I'm the exact opposite. I'd be, like, I could, that guy could have been a doctor and I could have been bleeding out. Not going to say anything. I contemplated stealing. The reason I stayed on the line so long was I was literally about to die of thirst. I was about to pass over and pass out and die.

And there was a fridge that you could also grab. And I was really just ready to start stealing water. It was that long. It was that bad. It's been bothering me since July 4th how long that line took. You could have just gotten the water and started drinking it. I should have done that. But it was like a couple lines over.

And then I would have to lose my line. And the way this shit was going, no chance I i would have got it back how do they have they not fix that you can do everything on an app and you have to stand in like a 30 minute line at the movie just fix that and it was one for one it's like someone should be doing the register someone should be doing the fucking sodas someone should be doing my nachos everybody out here trying to pay with credit cards that aren't real and oh and i forgot the other guy before i got before the guy who brought over his 15 mexican kids another dude shows up no it was actually when i was it was my turn was next i was like all right i'm finally here and this dude

comes flying in butts in front of me with his receipt and goes you forgot my small popcorn and he was like no i didn't And they started arguing about whether or not, in addition to all the other fucking things this guy got, whether or not the small popcorn was given. And I wanted to be like, just fucking give the guy some small popcorn. That's gotta cost you what? Half a penny?

You give out buckets? By the way, how many ounces, this is a fun little game, how many ounces do you think is in a large bucket of popcorn? I have no idea. 200. It was 170 ounces. Pretty close. It popped up, it was like a 44-ounce soda and 170 ounces of popcorn.

God damn, no wonder we're fat fucks. But the guys were arguing over the small popcorn. I was about to be like, I'll buy you a small, I'll buy you it, I'll buy you it. I was almost about to tell the girl in front of me, I will pay for your shit as long as I can like get mine right now. Cause I couldn't wait for one more fucking person. All right. Last voicemail of the day is brought to you by Honey. Join Honey to get that money.

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And I'm like, well, I don't know who you're banging because it's not me. Turns out, he thinks that every time he comes, that counts as a different sex session. Even if he comes two or three times within a few minutes without taking it out. What is going on? That counts going on session with multiple orgasms? What do you guys think? Also, is that like a superpower for him to be able to come multiple times so quickly?

I've never known anyone else to be able to do that. Thanks guys. What is happening? I don't think this guy knows what coming means. The only explanation you can come once maybe twice when like you know the stars and the moons align you're not coming three times john don't look at me like you've done that before i i i know i i have not no i i think i've done i've done twice a handful of times yeah but three is not happening no and it's not happening it's also not multiple sessions i wasn't looking you

surprised i was like i'm just like kind of thinking like like I was trying to leave the argument like like if we didn't get out of bed, it's still one time. No, we there have been like days where just had sex all day and didn't get out of bed. That's a lot of times having sex. That's not one sex session because we didn't get out of bed. That's

fine. But like one session where you come twice is still just one session of sex. Correct. Like girls have multiple orgasms all the time. That's one time. That's one time. Yeah.

Yeah. That, I mean, this is, this is a crazy question. I mean, this is, this is so weird though. It's like this, this couple just lives in some weird bubble where first of all, they're fucking all the time. Yeah. What is that about? Like we should have sex multiple times a day more often.

What do you, do you do anything? I'm so sore after I have sex. I'm just like, I can't walk. It sounds like I'm getting fucked, but I'm not. It's just like, it's like my groin is like spread out. It's wild physical exercise. Like everything else. If you go to the gym, you walk away like, oh my God, I use muscles that I haven't used

a lot at all. When you're fucking, you're doing weird ass exercises. Your butt, it's like clenching. You're clenching. Your obliques. Obliques are always bad. Well, bowling and sex, forgetenching. Your obliques. Obliques are always bad. Bowling and sex, forget about it. Your obliques are cocked.

I'd never used to get sore obliques when I had sex when I was younger. I get sore obliques so bad now. Oh, it's the worst. My triceps are sore from holding myself up. I get like, I'm doing a fucking plank right now. This is outrageous. That's not easy. And then, you know, for the girl, they gotta get penetrated. It's like, who wants to do this shit multiple times a day?

Who even has the time for it? Sex is the most outrageous shit ever. Sex stinks. Sex is lame. Once a day is like way too much. Now, like, I can understand you got to have sex like somewhat frequently, but two or three times a day to be complaining like that. What is the deal with this couple?

This is outrageous. Imagine that girl making the demand. We got to be fucking more than once, two or three times a day. And then the guy being like, well, I come three times every time we have sex. What are you talking about? What is this couple? What planet are you guys from? I don't think you know what sex is.

What's going on? These are aliens. We just had two aliens. We have an alien who just called the show what is oh my god it's like you're trying it's like in 40 year old virgin where you're trying to fit in it's like hey you know so me and my boyfriend are fucking three times a day and he's uh coming inside me three times you know no i cannot relate to anything you just said none of it none of its reality no it's not it's just it's just not i don't i don't there's really

not even much more to say like yeah you're yes is the superpower of him yes you're a freak for wanting to fuck i mean i don't know match me in heaven how long does it take to fucking come three times like that would take me a day a day it would take me a day all day full day to come three times the regeneration time you can go once you can go twice quickly but then to bounce back to that third i need about eight hours like the first two can happen in about 30 minutes the third one's gonna happen 10 hours later uh it's one of those things though you know it's it's like that's way too much sex way too much sex three times a day you kidding me and then when it dries up it's like okay we need to start having sex again it quickly

changes back to like all right well yeah we should have been fucking three times a day while you're young you gotta get it in yeah well yeah but like that, yeah, we should have been fucking three times a day. While you're young, you got to get it in. Yeah. Well, yeah, but like that's if I tried to have sex three times in a day, I wouldn't. It would be the worst hangover of my life. I wouldn't. I wouldn't have any liquid in my body. I would be sore all over the place.

I'd be cramping up. I've been cramping since Friday. Just now. Just to exist. Yeah. Imagine if you were doing cardio and thrusting and coming and shit. Get out of here. I mean, I guess more power to those weirdos, but keep those things to yourself.

Is that even something you want? Three times a day? No. But if you come three times in a session? Mm-mm. Mm-mm. I would like to be able to routinely do two, because then you don't have much pressure pressure where it's just like, if I come quick, it doesn't matter. I can keep going.

I mean, but by the time you do it a third time, like, this is going to sound bad, but you're just banging a cum rag. She's got cum on her tits. It's like you just got cum everywhere. You're just rolling around in your own cum. Well, what if it's all inside? I guess that's like. And then you're getting a girl pregnant if you do that. Just keep coming inside you.

Yeah, if you're getting coming three times a day, you need like an intravenous birth control. That shit's got to hit the bloodstream ASAP. We don't have time to have it disintegrate in your stomach. You know when they say with great power comes great responsibility? If you can come three times, you got big responsibility. Yeah, you know what? I think he's faking it.

I mean, he must. If it's all going inside, he's like, yeah, I just came. Yeah, and it's like, no, you didn't. No, you didn't, dude. You don't know what cum is. He's an alien. Yo, breaking news. We just had a girl call KC Radio who's having sex with an alien.

She doesn't know it. Aliens exist. They're KC Radio listener boyfriends. Alright, on that note, let's get into our interview. It's with our guy Wilmer Valderrama. You know him from that 70s show. He's got a new show coming out with puppets. MBMT is bringing you today's interview. Wilmer walked in here. He's got some nice shades on. He's looking stylish. He's looking fresh. You want to look good. You want to look sharp. You want to accessorize the right way. Join the movement. Get yourself some movement

sunglasses. Get yourself a movement watch. They got individual styles to make you look good in all different settings. They got nice frames. They got nice lenses. They got all different types. So whether you're going to the beach, you're going to the barbecue, you're going to the pool, you're traveling, you want to look sharp. Movement is the way to do it.

Everyone gets their $200 sunglasses. They end up sitting on them. They end up breaking them, losing them in the water, leaving them at the bar. These sunglasses are going to look just as sharp as those, but they start at just $70. So I'll just shoot you straight. You're going to lose them. Buy yourself a couple pairs of movement. Buy three pairs of movement sunglasses for the price of one designer pair,

and you're covered for the whole summer. You'll look sharp no matter what happens to them. Go to MVMT.com slash KFC. You get 15% off your order, plus free shipping and free returns. That's MVMT.com slash KFC. Wilmer, let's get it. Ready when you are. Cool.

I don't even think you need those, to be honest. Oh, okay, great. You can rock them if you want, but you don't need to. need those to be honest oh okay great you can rock them if you want but you don't need to it's a nice jacket thanks man it's very light

and cool form fitting you been doing curls oh yeah you know a lot of pushups before I got to see you guys you know

this man talk thing you're coming with this testosterone unchecked not on this show maybe some of the other guys not with us they've told you

nothing about the show they did not fill you in alright we got a very special guest in the studio Wilmer Valderrama joins us now you know him from

That 70s Show and a host of other things and CIS CIS he did a little stint with that show Awake yes I love that show man

yeah me too that was a cool idea me too they did two seasons or one of that. They did one season. It was so good. Yeah, it was just one. We did 13 episodes.

Thankfully, they gave the audience a nice closer. Yeah. I thought that was going to be maybe one of those shows that Netflix picks up or somebody reboots it because it was a good idea. It was early for Netflix too. Netflix had only a bandwidth to pick up one or two maybe perhaps. Now it's like. Yeah, now it's like

it really there's a different life there but you know the show had such a subversive kind of look at things you know and it was

you know this is what is really depressing about it is that they will say that this is a they said the show seems to be a little too smart

for audiences and I hate when they say that because we're always like what the hell man like that's the point right this show is too good it's too clever it's too witty honestly to be a little too smart for audiences. And I hate when they say that because we're always like, what the hell, man? Like, that's the point, right? It shows too good. It's too clever.

It's too witty. They're like, it's just too, the high concept and what you're asking people to really wrap their head around. It's more of a cable audience. So I'm like, well, what's the difference

between network audience and cable audience and streaming? Like, I don't know. It was a whole dilemma. People are too stupid, man. You can't give people any credit. I don't know it was a whole dilemma people are too stupid man you can't give people any credit

I never got what I was shooting I just showed up and said words out loud you know but I appreciate just get back to the basement

smoke some weed that's it yeah yeah yeah do it funny boys that accent that people think it's real well the new show that you got out now season 2 of Hollywood Puppet Show You know, that accent that people think is real.

Well, the new show that you got out now, season two of Hollywood Puppet Show, is out. And, I mean, that's the type of show where you're going to get funny stories, good stories kind of retold through this puppet show, which I think is something that everybody does love. So you don't have to worry about any of those kind of roadblocks where it's like that type of humor kind of applies to everyone. I would imagine you're getting some pretty cool stories. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I've had a production company for almost 12 years now,

I think. And the idea is that, you know, you develop the script, the stuff and you, you know, you shoot the films and we've done some animated features that come out this year,

whatever. So we've done some pretty big scope stuff, but every once in a while you have one of those ideas that you don't do it because it's profitable you didn't do it because it's

whatever else the people might say it is you know you do it because it's just fun and it's just silly and funny and you know

and it's one of those shows that I felt it was an excuse to just get some of my buddies to tell me really crazy stories yeah you know and imagine like sometimes you go and do interviews and you do an interview for about, I don't know, seven minutes, eight minutes or whatever.

And you never had a chance. You have enough time to like plug the show, have a little time to, you know, tell you a funny story about when I went to Disneyland and then, you know, which is like very simple. And then, you know, Mickey Mouse wasn't there. That's where the story ends. And then they'll tell you something else. Like, okay, what time is the show on? And it's like over.

But so what I wanted to do is develop something where, you know, we always had, my friends always tell me these crazy stories. They're like, do you imagine if people knew

the stuff that happens to us either on the plane or on set or traveling or in the street or driving or whatever it was, birthday party.

And I just have time to really tell it, you know, and I love the crime investigation channel, you know, so I started thinking, you know how they start doing the confession and start talking about really tell it, you know, and I love the crime investigation channel, you know? So I started thinking, you know how they start doing the confession as they start talking about the crime and you know, what happened and the person that actually went through

the crime, you know, it was like, this is what happened, happened. And it breaks into reenactments with actors, you know? Reenactments, yes. And those actors, God bless those actors. You know, unfortunately they've been given really, really challenging scripts. You know, those guys do what they can. So I, my hat is to those actors. Yeah, well, those people,

that's like their break. They love it, right? They're trying to grind it out. They're like, yeah, I was, you know, I was like dead body number three. I had a friend who did one of the reenactments

on some of the shows and he was like, dude, I was just running away from a guy with a knife. You know, at different angles because every time there's a flashback, it's a different angle perspective

of who's got the knife. Cash the check, man. Cash the check, you know. But anyhow, so I felt like, you know, we started talking about, like, how funny would it be if it breaks into, you know, reenactments with puppeteering. Like, marionettes, kind of like Latin America, you know? And we started doing 3D printing to get the characters to look so much like the celebrity, which made it even way funnier and weird. Yo, 3D printing? Yeah. I'll never understand it even way funnier and weird. You have 3D printing. I'll never understand it.

It's crazy. Talk about too stupid. I can't even comprehend how that works. 3D printing, yeah. Basically, you take a picture, and they'll give you another one that looks exactly the same. You're like, whoa, it's a future. It's really crazy.

And you're pretty kind with them, because we got the screener. Fat Joe looking slim as a puppet. Oh, yes oh yes yes yes real life too i gotta give a shout out to my guy he's putting in the work i i got i got a bone to pick with my my production designers because when i when i got that episode i was also saying like oh oh he must have lost a lot of weight you know and like you know fat works in his health and it's like you know joe is a is a good dude i've known him for a very long time so you know, and like, you know, Fat works in his health and it's like, you know, Joe is a good dude. I've known him for a very long time.

So, you know, when I saw that, I was like, oh, cool, whatever. And I think it was either one of those things where like, we didn't have the body and we used some other puppet's body and just put his head on it and like we just gave him a sweat belt. Fat Joe's been doing push-ups like you. Okay, my man, my man gets a squat, okay. I hear you though on the idea of like just getting some of these stories out there. I mean, we try to do that on the podcast here with guests or just with ourselves.

We have people call in all the time, and it's just like, tell us your wildest story. Give us your craziest question because everybody's got something. Everybody's got something. And when you hear it from celebrities or people that you watch or listen to or whatever, it's just that much better. I feel like you've got a pretty diesel Rolodex of friends and people to come through on a show like this. It was. To be honest, I think it was the selling point of the show. It was just that I was going to go into my address book and get them all to tell us funny stories.

But the truth is, it was a very simple phone call you know I called you know I would call Gina Rodriguez or Terry Crews or Joe Jonas or Marlon Wayans or Nick and be like whatever you know

no but look it's a small country club like we all kind of grew up together so to each other we're not those people you know we're just like dudes

who are just lucky to be working you know but you know I would call them and be like okay so I have this show that is about you know

you tell a funny story. I guess we enact it by marionettes. Do you want to be a puppet or whatever? And they're like, yeah, that sounds kind of funny. I was going to say, it's an easy day. Like, whatever, I'll tell a story. It's very low. You know, they just come in for an hour and tell you the story.

Now, do they go with, we saw the Nick Cannon. Nick Cannon was Fat Joe shooting a video in 18 hours. Do you get mostly the G stories? This is like the story the whole world can see, but there are a couple of them that I know this is a good story. Honestly, if you had seen the first season and you watched the second season eventually, you'd see that no one held anything back.

We never do. That's what's really also special about the show is that um it's such a comfortable fun and disarming setting that you really can allow yourself to be vulnerable knowing that really what's gonna end up on film is just a really fun interpretation of this crazy story that happened to you so so they my friends go there you know and they and they're open and that's what was so exciting because you could see these artists just be real and just like drop all the formality

of an interview and just say, okay, man, this is what happened to me. Strippers were protesting me when I was in this thing. Wait, what? Yeah,

the strippers were protesting. Yeah, you didn't tip the strippers. Well, that's fair then. I got a tip. So you're the executive producer and the host of it. Yeah.

Are you ever, you ever got to put your stories out there? I put a story there. I put a story there. My story was really crazy. It was the first season. But my puppet self is the one who hosts the show. As you saw, it's my marionette version of Wilmer who hosts the show.

I feel like that's almost like you can say other shit. That's just my puppet talking. That's not me. My puppet is way more annoying than me. That's not me. My puppet is way more annoying than me. That's for sure. But, yeah, the story I told in the first season was a story when I went on a USO tour. I travel a lot visiting the troops,

so I've been to Iraq and Afghanistan and Germany and, you know, Africa and South Korea and, you know, Greenland, and, you know, visiting all the troops. And I bring comedy and do different things. And one of the trips that I was in Germany visiting the hospital and, you know, visiting all the troops. And I bring comedy and do different things. And one of the trips that I was in Germany visiting last year was at the hospital where, you know, it's kind of like a big trauma hospital where our soldiers land there and, you know, and they get short treatment so they can make it back to the States for real treatment.

So it was really important for me to be there, you know. So we went on this thing and, you know, we stop at the security gate. They look at all our passports, you know, and, you know, they thing, and, you know, we stop at the security gate. They look at all our passports, you know, and, you know, they say, okay, you know, pull over to the little security hide. We go there, and we make a stop, and then, you know, this guy comes up to me, and, you know, like that, you know,

the bad, you know, this, like, the bad German guy in the movie, you know? It's like that guy, the stereotypical guy who's, like, seven feet tall. He's got the accent and whatever and comes up with the clipboard. He stands right in front of me, looks at me up and down, looks at the clipboard, looks at me up and down.

He goes, it's you, isn't it? And I go, yes, it's me. It's me. And he goes, all right, what are we going to do with you? And I go, I don't know. What is there to do? You know? And then I looked down at his clipboard.

Then I looked at him, and he starts making these signs, and they close the gates, the barricades go up, and all of a sudden German shepherds are everywhere, and I'm like, what is going on here? And I look at the clipboard, and there's this picture that obviously doesn't look like me, like the most stereotypical version, like brown, brown, it's got to be the guy.

It turns out that I feel the description of a terrorist that has been threatening the hospital. No way. So at this point, this guy goes, you know, and so they turn around. Everything's locked up over there. And I go, I think he thinks I'm a terrorist. I'm like, really? I think he thinks I'm that guy in the speech. So I'm trying to talk to me.

At this point, he doesn't want to talk to me. No. At this point, he thinks you're a terrorist. He's going to call the hospital. A hundred percent. You know, at this point, he like leaves me and I'm inside this room by myself and everything's locked up and I go, what's happening? And, you know, so then here comes the good guy, right?

The good guy in the movie, right? It's like our American, you know, general comes in and he just walks in and you can hear through the window very much like in the studio. You look outside and I'm here and I look outside the window and they're like, you know, pointing inside the window, looking at the clipboard, pointing at the clipboard, looking inside the window or whatever. And, you know, our American, you know, general, you know, looks inside and whatever, then waves me out and they bring me Frank Dahl, get me in front of the general. He looks at the clipboard and then I hear the German go, says, he said it was him.

He identified himself. You know, he said, I asked him, I said, it's you, isn't it? And he responded, yes. It is me. And then he goes, what are we going to do with you? And then he looks at me and says, well, what is there to do?

And I look at him and he's like, because I thought he recognized me from something. I was on that 70s show, man. I start thinking. No, I start thinking. I literally start thinking like, oh, I guess they love your mama in Germany. This is going to go. You thought you knew Hasselhoff. I was literally, look look I can always move here

and start singing career but anyways so I look at this guy and I go I think he thinks it's somebody else so he looks down at the keyboard

and looks at me and then you know General starts laughing he goes I'm sorry about this man like you know da da da da but it was

it was one of the most such a funny yeah so I'm bullets for a moment yeah it was really crazy so I tell that story and it gets reenacted by puppets and it's very discriminated way really funny yeah good that's one of the most such a funny times of my life. Yeah, sweating bullets for a moment there. Yeah, it was really crazy. So I tell that story and it gets reenacted by puppets in his very discriminated way.

It was funny. Yeah, good lesson though. I'd be like, look, if I was a terrorist, I wouldn't have told you. I wouldn't have admitted to it. I would have just blown it up.

Yeah, it's terrible. Yeah, you're right. It's me. It's terrible. Yeah, it was terrible. I'm smarter than that. There's moments like that though. You start to feel yourself

a little bit. Someone says, is it you? And you're like, yeah, it's me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stay grounded because all of a sudden you. Someone says, is it you? And you're like, yeah, it's me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stay grounded because all of a sudden you might end up with German. I learned my lesson.

So now what he tells me is like, it's you, isn't it? I go, who are you? Who do you think I am? And I said, is it Mario Lopez? Is it Jay Hernandez? Who do you think I am? Thankfully, most of the times they really guess it right. But occasionally my brothers and I get each other's names, you know, just really funny.

So you mentioned how like you're cool with a lot of these guys who are coming through your through your show. I feel like you've been on, you know, a ton of different, very successful shows. And it just feels like the company you keep, you must just be like the most charming dude out there. You're like the best, the the best cocktail party guest ever. It's like, you look cool, you look good, but what is it about you, man? Why do people like you so much?

What's that about? You call Justin Timberlake your hermano. That's my hermano, bro. Justin Timberlake and you were brothers? Why are you backstage? Just be like, oh yeah, it's just me and JT. No, no, no, no.

You have to also kind of put yourself back to maybe about 20 years ago, right? So 20 years ago, something else happened in pop culture. When you look at the people that were the artists and the icons of that generation, and you really start counting who they were, you know, Justin Timberlake, Ashton Kutcher, you know, Jessica, you know, you know, Scarlett Johansson, Chris Evans, and all these people. All of us were, we all kind of started out and broke around at the same time.

And we were just these kids trying to, you know, just work, you know. And we were real individuals, just dudes that just, you know, we'll go to the bar, take a shot with a fan because it's just cool, you know. And we never had that air of like actors act like this and actors are not, don't make mistakes and, you know, and he definitely, Justin is one of those guys, you know, all those guys

that came up and, you know, and you look at NSYNC and Backstreet Boys, believe it or not, like those guys are real, real cool dudes who are just like have an extraordinary, you know, break to do this thing. And so we kind of known each other for the last 20 years, you know, and I've been in this thing for about 22 years already. And it's beautiful to see that the community grows. But the good people, the people that do it for the right reasons, the people that just love about the care about the art and just love entertaining people, man. I just I like making people laugh and I like playing different characters and I love going to work to do things I like, you know,

which is the blessing that we have. We get up in the morning to do something we like. That's so rare, you know? So I'm grateful for that. I'm really grateful for the opportunity. But some of these guys, you know, that, you know, we laugh at like, oh, I call it, you know, Justin Marimano. We were there, you know, when he performed

for the first time in America, after making NSYNC huge in Europe and coming down and we were at the same Teen Choice Awards back in 1999 and 2000 so you look at this stuff and you look back and we've not gone too far

from each other and we've always kind of supported one another throughout the event because it's just rare to have real people like this today we have a big identity crisis and who's an artist and who isn't. But, you know, those guys who are still around, you know, it's because they're real individuals. Was it that 70s show that, like, you know,

Justin was in NSYNC and you were at all these places, was it because of that 70s show? Yeah, yeah. That was what the break was. Yeah, just, I mean, I was 18 years old when I was booked as Fez on that 70s show. You know, I'm 38 now. So think about... i know you know i'm really throwing my life away but no but yeah i mean i was 18 years old i just turned 18 years old and i was booked on this sitcom which was a first of its kind nobody's ever done something with that tone of comedy

it was a little too edgy but but it was at least on Fox, and we were between The Simpsons and The X-Files, so we had a license to be a little bit more, you know, edgier with our comedy. And back then, it was like, whoa, they said the word whore on television? Did they say ass? You know, like, and all of a sudden,

meanwhile, right now, we're like the standards of PG-13. There are no rules anymore. There are no rules anymore. Especially because right now, it's funny because broadcast has certain rules, but there are certain standards and the things that you can and cannot do. But then you switch the channel to one channel in four, and you're seeing nudity and language or whatever.

FX is just HBO now. Yeah. Straight up. Anything you want. Straight up. But yeah, that show was what introduced me to audiences for sure. Who would have thought that that show, like you said, like 20 years ago, like the spot in the basement would produce like two like superheroes.

Like you're like very into political activism. And then Ashton Kutcher is like. Ashton Kutcher is a real life superhero now. Yes, yes. He is. I like just learned about all the stuff he's doing. It's like. Yeah.

From Punk and all that shit? Like that guy? Yeah. I mean, he's like seen in he is. I just learned about all the stuff he's doing. It's like, from Punk to all that shit? That guy? I mean, he's like Satan. By the way, you look at Fez, the guy from your mama. It's like really, really random. But you were on MSNBC talking about the immigration policies and stuff like that. You did March for Our Lives. That's like, to think that 20 years ago, I would not think that, oh, these two are going to be very important political actors.

Yeah, no. I mean, you're watching that show and it's just like, you know, smoking weed and, like, goofing off. I mean, Fez is like a clown character. Kelso is like a total moron. Not a moron. He was naive. Oh, okay. An innocent jock. Innocent jock.

Innocent jock. You know, to that point, you know, over time, over time, you realize the strengths and weaknesses of your career. And when you stay very vulnerable, there's things that you know you're good at and things that you're not good at. And we realized that after a couple of decades of the ups and downs and the dry seasons and the high seasons, because people are up and down in their careers, but if you play the marathon, you stick around long enough. And, you know, I think with Ashton and me, you know, we eventually identified that most of our colleagues were, you know, were still thinking about that old school mentality that actors and musicians

or artists in general don't get involved in politics. But we realized fairly quickly that politics were actually human issues, which is something I said in the NSNBC thing. Like politics are human issues and artists are no exception. We're not any different than a human being, right? And we're just people, men and women, who have extraordinary opportunities to actually get in front of more people than an average person. And with that comes not just responsibility, but an urgency to get involved when you see what's happening on a global scale,

but most importantly at home, here on a national scale. And why couldn't we use our heart and our voice as people to actually really get involved? And that's the thing that kind of, I think that a lot of artists are waking up to now. They were like, hey, we're allowed to speak as people and as citizens of this country. So if we don't believe in something, if we don't respect something, we're also allowed to disagree.

Because sometimes artists were looked at someone that you're neutral. Everybody should like you. But the truth of the matter is, if you don't like me because I believe that families shouldn't get, you know, separated, then then, you know, let's agree to disagree. Do what you got to do. What do you think? A lot of people, I feel like, when Hollywood... Such a low bar that somehow doesn't get cleared. Like, I think families should say it again.

Like, that's it, I hate you now. I'm off your bandwagon. But you should really read the responses we get when we get behind this thing. Like, the misconception of, like, what illegal is. It's so sad that people don't understand that illegal immigration doesn't exist.

There's not it's not illegal to immigrate. You know, like think about like, you know, you're undocumented and there should be a process in which you either welcome this new workforce or this new individual that comes out here to take a job you often assume don't exist. Right. So there should be a different perspective on how to look at that. But then as a people, we're told that we shouldn't say things like this because we don't wear the suit and we don't have the pen and we're not in the Congress or anybody talking on behalf of the people. The generation of just waiting for politicians to speak on our behalf is over. Now the people really need to just kind of roll up their sleeves. This is what it is. Do you ever think about, I mean, I feel like a lot of the criticism when Hollywood starts to speak up is that, you know, what you guys are so wealthy and so lucky and you don't really represent

people like the average person. How could you, you know, just stick to Hollywood and be quiet. Yeah. I think that I love that you brought that up because people forget six, 10, 15 years of hunger, struggle, trauma, rejection,

dark, dark turns and times where depression could have actually made you not reach your full potential that eventually gave you the perception that people have of you of like, well, you got money. What would you know? To the matter is like I was hungry too, man. I used to eat dinner every other night with my family and we used to be late and rent three months at a time. And we almost got kicked out all the time for years.

And I used to walk to 99 cent store with my mother and see her red hands and be like, mom, one day we're going to drive. You know what I mean? And you think about all these things and people, people don't know that we also have a human story. So when they see us in like either a private jet or wearing the watch or driving the car, they think like, well, how can you relate to real people? They don't understand that like we weren't even, we weren't born famous. We weren't Prince Charles or Prince Williams or Prince Harry.

Or Donald Trump. Oh, Donald Trump? Hey, I like this guy. What's the matter with you? But, you know, you think about that. Like most artists have had to, you know, go through a level of psychological trauma to just make it in front of enough people that you created a little bit of loyalty that eventually a studio system or a network system or Hollywood said, you may be a volleyball player, you may make me some money. You might make

me some money if I put you in this movie. Then you start playing that card and eventually you build enough loyalty with the audience that, you know, that they work for you and then they stick with you through so much time. But, you know, the perception of that artists and athletes make all this money and they can't really, why did you just, you know, why are you speaking on behalf of the people? That's ridiculous because half of the NBA multi-millionaires started playing in the streets with like,

you know, with you know, bad chords or whatever. I mean, LeBron, they said, you know, moved like eight times in nine years and now he made a billion dollars. He nine years. Now he made a billion dollars. He came from nothing and he made a billion dollars. So maybe that's someone we should listen to. That's fine.

Although, I don't know. It's fine. I mean, I understand sometimes where I think just for every, you know, what I learned actually from like Ashton Kutcher was every time there's maybe one person who's like misinformed or uninformed Hollywood just spouting off, there's a guy like Ashton Kutcher who like is saving the world. That's right. So like I'll put up with some, you know, maybe some people at award shows who are a little

high and mighty if Ashton Kutcher can go out there and stop human trafficking. Right, right, right. So take the good with someone's bad. It's like everything, right? Every community has their, you know, their gold star standards. Are there any guys who you're like you wish would just like zip it? Just like, you know, you don't know what you're talking about. It's a good question.

You sound like an idiot. I only commute with the people that don't sound like idiots. So, you know, so it's hard for me to actually even come up with one person that's out there, you know. I don't know. I mean, the truth is that today you're seeing enough amazing people step up. You know, I think that's exciting to see how many artists are actually realized that they're going to come out. They're going to come out of this front lines or this these movements with both arms and both legs. Like that was a big pioneering moment for artists to know they're like, oh, wait a minute.

You walk out with both of your arms, both of your legs. You didn't lose an eye in the middle of doing this thing. Oh, I'm allowed to speak because I also have a citizenship in this country or I'm a resident of this country. Oh, I'm an immigrant too. Why can't I speak? You know what I mean? Like there's all of those realizations that I think are making it a really beautiful time to stand out for those who unfortunately have a muted voice.

It's come a long way since Michael Jordan, Republican's bio-studio student. It's still a great line though. It's come a long way since Michael Jordan, Republican's bio-studio student. That's still a great line, though. It's still a great line. You can do it that way, too, man. I can totally understand not getting involved, keeping it easy. All right, so Hollywood Puppet Show is on Fuse,

season two, and check it out. You can hear Wilmer and all his buddies telling stories. Yeah, yeah, it's a silly ride, guys. Silly ride. and check it out you can hear Wilmer and all his buddies telling stories yeah yeah it's a silly silly ride guys silly ride no but grateful to have me on guys

I know that a lot of your audience likes NCIS too so grateful for that too you know I know Mark Harmon who does like NCIS you just did your

350th episode right yeah no 75 375 375 that was a lot that was 350 yeah because we we're entering our 16th season.

We do 24 episodes a season. Am I doing the math right? It's definitely over 300, which is crazy. I actually am entering my third year, right? So I joined two years ago. And I went there to put a little coffee in their milk, you know? Everybody could use a little bit of that. Everybody could use a little coffee in their milk, you know. Everybody could use a little bit of that. Everybody could use a little coffee in their latte.

All right. Well, continued success. We wish you the best. And hopefully, you know, your love life will pick up because I know that's always been a struggle for you. I know. Yeah. Maybe you'll find a little romance. I feel very lonely.

I feel very lonely nowadays. You know, if anyone's ever listening to out there, I'm looking for Mrs. Wright. It's an important time for me. You know, I like sushi. Are you on all the dating apps and stuff? I'm in every one of them. I don't get any matches. No, I'm not.

We have some celebrities who come through like Biz Nasty. Every time he's here, a former NHL player, a million followers. He's like, yeah, I got to go on Bumble tonight. What do you mean you have to go on Bumble, Biz? Yo, you should have an app. You should start an app called Wilmer. Okay?

And it's just your own dating app, and it's just all your criteria and everything. You would know better than anybody. I'm telling you, that's a billion-dollar idea. I'm going to call Ashton because he's really into the text now, right? He's got like Airbnb. We're fucked at Boomer. Oh my God. It's like if there's anybody you ever meet, you know, these people want to aspire to be,

it's like, this is it. We got the app. We got the experience. Boom. The Wilmer dating app. Yeah, that's it. Oh man. You want to get this girl.

I'll only take like 50%. It's fine. 50 only? Yeah, that's fine. I don't know. I'll be more ambitious, man. We might be get this girl. I'll only take like 50%. It's fine. 50 only? Yeah, it's fine. I'll be more ambitious, man. We might be sleeping when we make this deal. Absolutely, man. But yeah, that's funny.

But thank you, guys. I appreciate you having me for sure. Cool, man. All right, a big thank you to Wilmer Valderrama. This episode was brought to you by ZipRecruiter. You want to find yourself a quality candidate for whatever job you're trying to fill. Doesn't matter what industry, doesn't matter what position, ZipRecruiter

is the best way to do it. We found Will through ZipRecruiter and he does nothing but edit like a motherfucker. And jump. And he jumps. He jumps really high. He's such a high jumper. I mean, I'll tell you this much. If you're looking for jobs on ZipRecruiter, maybe just put as a prerequisite Great Vertical Leap. You can jump. I mean, I'll tell you this much. If you're, if you're looking for jobs on ZipRecruiter, maybe just put as a prerequisite,

great vertical leap. Can jump. I mean, like Dwight Schrute with the, uh, what does it say for martial arts skills? High jump. I can jump a fence in Central Park easily.

Done. He flew right over that thing. Like it was no problem. It's like, so Will, I know he can edit the shit out of all of our videos. And if, if shit ever pops off and we need to to escape or something, he's our guy.

He's flying. We have an inter-office high jump contest. Okay, radio wins. Done. We actually should set that up. Like, hey, this is a cool idea for the combine. We should add a high jump thing. And whoever wins gets the money.

Oh, look at that. Will. Will has a 55-inch vertical leap. So you can set the requirements. You can set the job. And ZipRecruiter will bring the candidates to you. That's the best part. They bring all the candidates to you rather than you seeking them out.

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