KFC Radio - Kirk Minihane, The Food Scale, and When Will Men Wax

Episode Date: November 29, 2018

Kirk Minihane stops to discuss his time at WEEI, mental health issues, and his new gig with Radio.com. He gives us an inside look at the rise of Boston sports talk radio and the soap opera that goes o...n at the stations. Kirk tells us about how he contemplated suicide and how the people who helped him immediately asked about Barstool. Voicemails include: Is Waxing Really Necessary, the Food Scale, Nikes in Medieval Times, Getting The Boss For Secret Santa, and When To Venmo RequestYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. KFC Radio presented by Tommy John now and throughout the entire holiday season. Tommy John is the official underwear of John and KFC. I'm wearing it right now. Right now. This very second. I tell no lies on these radio waves or podcast waves or whatever.
Starting point is 00:00:24 I don't know what it technically is, to be honest. Straight airwaves, baby. Airwaves, okay. And you know what? It feels like you're on airwaves when you got your Tommy John on there, baby. I got like a patterned on today, too. You do? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:35 It's almost like, you know what I'm going to call it? I feel like one of the G.I. Joe characters had like a red and black camo. Okay. Didn't make any sense, really. It would only protect you from- Like blood at nighttime? Yeah, I was going to say Mars. Yeah. But yeah, it's like a red and black and white camo. It didn't make any sense really. It would only protect you from blood at night time. Yeah, I was going to say Mars. But yeah, it's like a red, black, white camo look to them.
Starting point is 00:00:49 They're comfy and they're sharp and my penis looks good. And you pull your penis out quick. Because every time I go to the bathroom every time I go to the bathroom it's an emergency. Every single time I go to the bathroom I'm like Okay, Mike Portnoy over here. I'm like running to the bathroom every time. And so it's nice to have the quick draw.
Starting point is 00:01:07 It is. So the quick draw is just, it's a horizontal line. It's a horizontal slit in the pouch. You can just go in and out, pull it. The other one, you got to snake it through and around. You have to go a serpentine route. Yeah, I'm not trying to serpentine to my penis, okay? I just want to be able to pull it.
Starting point is 00:01:23 I want to be able to whip it down. And I always wonder with that too, with to serpentine to my penis. Okay. I just want to be able to pull it. I want to be able to whip it down. And I always wonder with that too, with, with the, uh, the serpentine journey, if it, if it takes you longer or shorter to,
Starting point is 00:01:33 to get out, to pull, there's a person next to you to give a big dick or a little. Oh, uh, it's like, I see what you mean. It takes a long time for him to find it.
Starting point is 00:01:42 Right. Or it's like, I'm trying to unfold this thing. Yeah. I think my initial gut would be, he's unfolding it. I'll see. That would a long time for him to find it. Right. Or it's like, I'm trying to unfold this thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think my initial gut would be he's unfolding it. But then to make myself feel better, I'd be like, he can't even find this thing. That's actually what's going on. I definitely always thought that.
Starting point is 00:01:53 I was like, what the hell is he doing over here? He can't even find his dick. But you don't have to worry about that with the quick draw. Just bam, there it is. Got a big dick, small dick. You can pull it right out. Don't you even worry about it today. We have Kirk Minahan on the program, and I knew that
Starting point is 00:02:05 was going to be a big interview, so I wore my big game boxer briefs. That's what I do. When you got a big date, you got a big day at the office, you got a big interview on your podcast, that's right, Kirk. I put on fancy underwear for you, bro. TommyJohn.com slash KFC. You get 20% off your order. You got
Starting point is 00:02:21 limited edition holiday gifts to pick from. You got men's, you got women's. You can buy it for yourself. You can buy it for other people. It's a great gift for under the tree or right to your own dick and balls. TommyJohn.com slash KFC for 20% off. Like I said, Kirk Minahan is here live in the flesh.
Starting point is 00:02:38 He is a Boston radio personality. He is embroiled in a pretty big controversy up there with WEEI. I'd go so far as to say Kirk's embroiled in a slew of controversies. Multiple. He's got a full plate of controversies. He does.
Starting point is 00:02:54 That's why everyone is always joking, wink wink joking, about him joining Barstool because he is, he fits the mold here. He is cut from the same cloth as us. He is a Howard Stern type. He lets it fly. He doesn't give a fuck. He's wildly talented and handsome. He fits right in with all of us here.
Starting point is 00:03:11 And we talk about it. My hair has been looking good recently. I'll take it. I just wrapped up. I gave it to myself. Of course I'm taking it. I just wrapped up with radio and Casey was talking about my hair and my beard and my jokes.
Starting point is 00:03:26 I thought Jared was going to fucking explode. So I'm riding high right now. I'm feeling myself a little bit. The Kirk. He'll eventually work at Barstool. He'll eventually be here. I would be surprised if he doesn't. This isn't an announcement of that.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Obviously, he's going to radio.com in February, most likely. But I'd be very happy to have Kirk here here which isn't how it always would have been i used to not like him i didn't used to dislike her i felt like first of all like we're going to talk about like radio and generally we all grew up radio people kind of i i i grew up one as like a very young kid with my dad my dad used to always have me listen to the whiner line which i hated i did not like it and i still don't like it i don't find it entertaining but my dad. My dad used to always have me listen to the Winer line, which I hated. I did not like it, and I still don't like it. I don't find it entertaining, but my dad would always force it upon me, and that's kind of how
Starting point is 00:04:10 I got into listening to that. See, that's who we are. We are guys like that. I remember when Dave first would describe Barstool, and there was always that whole whatever you... We're the type of guys who wait online for tickets at 2 a.m. when it's cold out. He did you know, we're the, we're the type of guys who wait online for tickets at like, you know,
Starting point is 00:04:25 2am when it's cold out. He did that one time, did that, but he was trying to describe like who, who we are and who stoolies are. And to me, we are the, we are the guys who like listen to sports talk radio growing up,
Starting point is 00:04:37 even when we don't fucking like it. Right. Even when we hate the people or disagree with them, it's just like who you are and what you do. People, Barstool sports, we're people who like to be angry. Basically. It's very masochistic.
Starting point is 00:04:49 Traffic wasn't enough for me to be pissed off in Boston. I got to disagree with radio hosts too. I could listen to country music and just have a smooth ride. But no, I want to be mad at traffic and I want to be mad at the host who has a different sports opinion than me. And then I want to show up to work. Yep. That's how I like to start my day. That's who we are, man. I remember when I was a kid, we were getting into the car and my buddy's dad was driving and he puts on Mike and the Mad Dog and my buddy was like, Dad, do we have to listen to this? And he was like, yes, yes, we do. Like, this is important. This is who we are as people. This is what this family does.
Starting point is 00:05:28 We listen to Mike and the dog. And it molded us to be the cynical, bitter, angry, irrational people that we are today, John. It was the same thing with, you know, my dad was an EEI guy, but then one of my friends, who I used to ride with his dad sometimes too, he was a Howard Stern guy.
Starting point is 00:05:41 Right. And guess what? Wasn't much of a fan of Stern either. No. So, like, I was an angry little fuck starting really young as a child being like I don't care about this
Starting point is 00:05:51 I wasn't even mad at what was being said I was mad at what I was listening to it and I was like this is stupid but don't change it you're not mad at me but it's stupid I mean that's the Howard Stern man
Starting point is 00:06:02 people who like it listen for five people who hate it listen for 15. You're not mad at me. You're mad at your dad, John. I hope that there are people out there that hate listening to us. I think that's the biggest badge of honor when there are people out there who are like, I fucking hate those guys. Did you hear the new episode? I can't imagine people
Starting point is 00:06:17 hating us. No, how could you? We're the most likable people ever. We're not polarizing at all. I've done, I actually, this is Kirk really returning the favor because I've done Kirk's podcast that's right, I did a Kirk's podcast probably about two years ago in a, I think
Starting point is 00:06:33 EEI headquarters were under construction at the time or maybe Kirk was, they were really setting the tone, maybe he was exiled, yeah they were setting the tone of what they were about to do to him we were recording in the closet that they were doing construction in. It was like, it was impossible.
Starting point is 00:06:46 There was, it was, that's, that's, isn't there a Seinfeld episode where they're trying to like smoke Costanza out of his office? That's what they're trying to do to Kirk. Kirk, two years held on tight though. But yeah,
Starting point is 00:06:55 no, it was really fun. And I was so scared going into it. Um, because Kirk is, Kirk is like the bad boy boss at sports media. Yeah. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:07:03 I don't know if he relishes that title. Um, but he's definitely the person who, if you're the bad boy boss at sports media. Yeah. I don't know if he relishes that title, but he's definitely the person who— Listen, if you're the bad boy, you don't because you look lame if you publicly admit that, but you like it. But you love it. Yeah, for sure. But he was always the guy who, like, you know, on the radio, he was like— See, Kirk's scary. Kirk's radio personality is scary. He's a fucking intimidating cat, no doubt.
Starting point is 00:07:23 You're scary because he's good at his job. Right. But, you know, someone—you're. You're scary because he's good at his job, but someone, you're sitting down with an attorney who's good at his job, and you're like, this is going to go fucking shit for me. You know what he is? He's intimidating because there are most people in this world, if you give a wrong opinion, or you get a fact
Starting point is 00:07:40 wrong, or you disagree, they'll kind of let you slide. Kirk can't let you slide. Like, even if you mess something up, he's a guest on this show, I feel like he would have no hesitation to be like, no, no, no, that's fucking wrong. You're a fucking idiot. So you gotta be on your game when you're talking to Kirk Minahan. And that vibe is one
Starting point is 00:07:55 that is, you know, you gotta take that seriously. But I mean, to me, I grew up on Mike and the Dog, Boomer and Carton, and it's still very strange for me to technically be like contemporaries now. Like technically they're competition. Technically I'm working in the same field that they are. I still watch Boomer and now Gio as like a fan.
Starting point is 00:08:17 I still, I mean, Francesa, obviously I'm still like total fan boy of it. When I go to WFAN, I'm still like, I'm going on to do a guest spot, but I'm still like, yo, like, what's up with that? Like, what's up with this? Like, give me the gossip. Cause I'm like, I am, I am like, uh, like rest, uh, like radio to me is like wrestling to like wrestling fans. Like I love the storylines and the personalities and the, the drama, except it's all real.
Starting point is 00:08:43 It's not scripted, but it's as scripted as it feels as scripted as a soap opera or wrestling to me, except it really is just a bunch of grown ass men and a couple of chicks babbling about sports and nonsense. I can't get enough of it. So I'm a New York guy. I never I didn't listen to EI or Sports Hub, but I have learned about Minahan. I picked up on what was going on there.
Starting point is 00:09:06 So he built EEI up. Sports Hub used to kill him, and he built up EEI. EEI was king for most of my life. And then Sports Hub came around. I don't even remember when. I'm going to say like 10 years ago. I don't remember exactly when it was. And you were able to jump ship like you would, like to me?
Starting point is 00:09:20 Oh, I never. No, I never really cared for Sports Hub. Well, I was always Denison Call i go i was always uh dennis and callahan i was always kirk and callahan um i toucher and rich is the the morning show on on sports hub and i i've never really cared for it it was very popular right um kirk brought it back to being kirk brought kirk and how callahan back to being the number one but they were they were number one for a while before Kirk came around. After EEI was king...
Starting point is 00:09:47 So EEI's king, Sports Hub comes along, takes over the market. Kirk comes to EEI and takes back. Yes. Got it. I don't think I would ever switch. The thought to me of a new radio station coming to town and taking over WFAN,
Starting point is 00:10:02 I'd be like, I would hate them. I believe it was not only a hatred, I think it was almost like it was laughed at. I believe... Sports Hub. Yeah. But then it took over. Yes, it did.
Starting point is 00:10:13 But the idea was laughed at. Right. Okay, I see what you mean. You think we're going to stop listening to EI? All right, that's what I'm saying. I would be... I mean, you kind of have that here in New York with Michael K and ESPN,
Starting point is 00:10:22 but it's ESPN radio. It's a bigger thing. If there was someone who was like, we are a New York station, I and ESPN, but it's ESPN radio. It's a bigger thing. If there was someone who was like, we are a New York station, get the fuck out of here. Even in music, when there was Hot 97 and then Power 105 came along, Power 105 stole a lot more of the market
Starting point is 00:10:36 than I ever thought possible. But sports is a whole different animal. When Sports Hub first came around, Callahan, again, this is before Kirk, I believe Callahan gave a quote, or it was Dennis, I forget who exactly it was, but something along the lines of, like, are you kidding me? Like, you think I'm worried about this? Like, I'm taking this phone call from under my desk.
Starting point is 00:10:55 Yeah, I'm that worried. I'm going to get my fallout shelter because Sports Hub's coming. Watch out. And they kicked the fucking door in. They were, I mean, Toucher and Rich was big for us. I mean, Felger and Maz is still, I don't really care for and as kirk will tell you in this episode he doesn't he does not either the other shows on eei i believe the quote was i have no need for them which is just like you are worthless so uh unbelievable interview even if you're not uh
Starting point is 00:11:19 into sports radio this is a guy who just picture just picture this, he is a wildly talented and super successful public figure. A lot of people say he's the Howard Stern of Boston Sports Talk. He ends up having suicidal thoughts, and he's been battling depression. He ends up taking a leave of absence. Which, by the way, I was wondering where that was going to go. I'm glad he further explained what the suicidal the suicide thoughts man and he goes into detail man it is because i was like well yeah we think about we talk about it all the time like because
Starting point is 00:11:51 like as i first heard it was like he thought about jumping in front of a train like i do that every single time i'm on a train yeah no no i think that's just natural he thought like this is different jumping around so uh some interesting stuff some scary stuff uh really appreciate him coming on and being as honest as he was because it made for a really fascinating conversation. So let's get into it. Kirk Minahan on KC Radio brought to you by Dollar Shave Club. So I just mentioned I mentioned how Casey was complimenting my scruff. He did.
Starting point is 00:12:18 And the key to having some scruff because I have not been fully clean shaven in years. I always leave scruff but you got to keep your neck. You can't have your neared. You can't have the neck beard going. So I use the Dollar Shave Club razors to keep my neck nice and clean while I maintain the scruff. You know what I think I'm going to do by the way?
Starting point is 00:12:38 You've been growing your beard for a while now. I will need these for my neck. I think I'm not going to shave it until the end of winter. I think I'm just going to see what happens. Alright. I mean you might as well. You've been doing it a while let it see what happens. All right. I mean, you might as well. You've been doing it a while, right? It's been like probably three weeks. Yeah. You might as well just let this thing cook.
Starting point is 00:12:49 You got it. I don't know where it's going to go. Have you touched anything? No. So on your chin, do you have hair? It's all blonde. It's just blonde. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:57 See, that's what's tough is when it's like, no, I do have hair there, but you just can't see it because then that's- I have patches in my cheek that are just blonde too. It's like, no, I do have hair there, but you just can't see it. Because then that's... I have patches on my cheek that are just blonde, too. It's weird. But as you grow it in, it might thicken it up enough that you can see it more. Let's go. So, John... End of February, maybe we'll shave?
Starting point is 00:13:14 John will be on a Dollar Shave Club hiatus. I'll still be here using those nice blades, baby. They get delivered right to me. They're still fresh. They're sharp. They're nice. They're clean. Pop it in. Start shaving. Get the new one delivered. It's delivered right to me. They're still fresh, sharp, nice, clean. Pop it in,
Starting point is 00:13:25 start shaving, get the new one delivered. It's as easy as pie. They also have the hair gel. They have the hair clay. They have the lip balm. They have the lotions. They have the body wash. They got everything you need in your bathroom. They got toothpaste. You want to listen. I brush my teeth once a day. I brush them so hard and so good, I don't even need to brush them later at night. But with the Dollar Shave Club, I might be able to skip a day because the Dollar Shave Club toothpaste is that fresh and good for your teeth. Get the handsome discount right now when you go to dollarshaveclub.com slash KFC. That's right. We're the handsome show.
Starting point is 00:14:01 We're the masculine show. We're the feminine show. We're the handsome show. Dollarshaveclub.com slash kfc and you get the starter set with the handsome discount for just five dollars you get the oral care kit and the razors all of that dollarshade club.com slash kfc let's talk to kirk all right kfc radio live at barstool HQ in the flesh. Kirk Minahan. What's going on, guys? Is this the first time in HQ for you? Yes, this is a very strange experience.
Starting point is 00:14:34 I'm wearing my best Cosby sweater. I was ready to go. And I roll up here, and I walk by. First of all, the city fucks me up, so I'm already confused. I get off the train. I'm walking down. I don't know where I am. I must have walked by this six times. I texted you. I'm like, confused. I get off the train. I'm walking down. I don't know where I am I must have walked by this like six times and texted you I'm like where the wit I'm like how am I that googled?
Starting point is 00:14:52 The address and saw all these stories about this place. I'm like, I don't fucking know where I see the one about the murder I did like in like the early like 1900 someone got murdered here. Really for sure wasn't that long ago? I thought it was no no it was it was my bread before became this building. Oh shit. Yeah Yeah, there's that it was dead by let's not get caught up in that day So anyway, so I I take the elevator up and all of a sudden, it's just, like everybody says, it's just chaos. Absolute chaos. Yeah, I mean, especially right now, man. The Christmas lights, we have a thousand bodies in here.
Starting point is 00:15:12 The place is a fucking joke. It's hot as shit. You were saying, if I inevitably work here, that I will not, I won't enjoy the experience that you said? Well, no. I mean, Dave's just such a fucking asshole about everything. Sure. I mean, today, like, people are asking him, can I do this?
Starting point is 00:15:23 Can I do that? Can I put this on? Is he here today? He might be out right now eating pizza because that's all he does. But he's answered everything. He's just like, I don't really care. I don't really care. So everyone just kind of rolls with it.
Starting point is 00:15:35 I think it would be funny watching you two go at it. We'll have a good porn noise story for later. We'll get to it. But go ahead. All right. Well, so, I mean, a lot going on. I think a lot of people are listening right now. A lot of our fan base.
Starting point is 00:15:45 I think this is a combo people have wanted to see. There's a lot to explain and get into. I figure let's just start with kind of the housekeeping. Whatever you'd like. Done with EEI on to radio.com. That's right. Done with EEI on radio.com. I'm in New York for some meetings with them.
Starting point is 00:16:01 Just also to be here with you guys. And then I'll know more, I think. 24 hours from now, I think. 24 hours from now, I think I'll have some idea about A, where I'm physically going to do the show, what time it's going to be on, and who I'm working with. Other than that, we're in pretty good shape right now. Other than the fact, I don't know what fucking time
Starting point is 00:16:16 it'll be on, the name of it, who I'm going to be with, or anything else. But I know I'm going to be there. Is radio.com, so it's internet radio? It's not a podcast. Don't act like you're better than that. No, I'm not. Here we go, here we go. I hate internet radio. It's not a podcast. Don't act like you're better than that. No, I'm not. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:16:25 Here we go. I hate the guys who are like, oh, you're not 72 years old. Oh, what is that? Yeah, no, it's not KFC. Oh, it's not part of my take. Fuck off. I mean, really. Nothing's part of my take.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Jesus. Can I take a lecture from the worst businessman in America? Let's keep going on that. Let's forget about you, Kirk. I was talking about this and seeing how long it's going to go and we're kind of planning things out. And I was like, when I did Kirk's podcast, I think it was around for like an hour and a half. Like 45 minutes, he was just making fun of me for sucking. I'd say more than that.
Starting point is 00:17:00 You sold an Amazon stock right away, right? Yeah, exactly. So, yeah. So, no. So i so it is so no you're right because everyone says to me it's gonna be a podcast i think we're going to do two hours live i just think live you need some element of better it's just better but then you have the ability to listen on demand whenever you fucking want because it's 2018 it's not you need to sit there on your am dial and find it it's like i think it's but i think there's like so i'm 44 and i feel like that's almost like the age where people above me don't quite understand it.
Starting point is 00:17:27 And people below me, other than you don't, you know, do understand it, which is it, you know, it's like, so I'm gonna do two hours left.
Starting point is 00:17:32 Cause like I said, you need some live element. I'm a radio guy. It's what I do. And I think we're going to bank one hour and then release it. Maybe when people are driving home, I think I, you know,
Starting point is 00:17:40 these again, I'll know more today. Are you happy with that? Was there a, was there a period of time where you were like, I don't know if I'm going to end up anywhere or I'm going to have to do this all on my own? Yeah, I didn't know for a while. Yeah, there was a lot of back and forth.
Starting point is 00:17:53 Things got bad between me and the station. I had obviously taken some time off for a while. We could talk about that too. I came back and it was tricky. They wanted me to do certain things within their guidelines. I just didn't want to do it. So we were negotiating a buyout when one of the execs at Intercom said, why don't you try this?
Starting point is 00:18:10 And I thought, well, that seems, I don't know. And I thought more and more about it. It's not total freedom like you guys have, say, or other people, but it's a lot more freedom than I have at EEI. I can do what I want. I can pick who I want to work with. It could be my show. And I don't want to sit there and talk about the Red Sox game the night before
Starting point is 00:18:25 when they won 8-1 against the Twins. My life is too fucking short to do that. So on we go. We talk about that a lot, how we're kind of – and this is what Kirk Callahan was, where it was sports-centric. It was more like the culture of sports. Yeah, not in the right – not analysis and stuff. As I explained to Kevin, it would be like more talking about
Starting point is 00:18:44 the Yawkey White name change than the score the night before. Yeah, or Adam Jones' situation. I mean, the interesting shit, man. The stuff that you can dig into a little bit and expand upon. I guess some people still talk about the Bruins game from the night before, but I don't know what's there to say. I mean, look, if the Patriots come back down 28-3 in the Super Bowl, you can talk about it. It's the biggest story in the country. But that's what I want to talk about.
Starting point is 00:19:07 I want to have a lot more fun and do sort of a lot more of what I brought to the show. And we'll see what happens. It could be a total disaster. So, like a 30% chance it'll be, like, historic. I mean, really. Like, one of the great fuck-ups of all time. I'm going to have to read Feidelberg's contract. Tell me again how much you got for Saturdays.
Starting point is 00:19:27 How much was it? I got a merch bonus. Gift card? After taxes, it was like I paid my rent once. No big deal. But here's the thing. I mean, you were responsible for saving the station. Yeah, I was.
Starting point is 00:19:46 I mean, I was. So I think you should have some confidence that you're going to – Well – You've done this. You can do this again. But you guys are like a national behemoth. I have a pretty loyal local fan base. It's been really loyal the last few months.
Starting point is 00:19:59 But it's going to be interesting to see how that translates. You know, the audience is going to be much smaller than I'm used to at the start. I don't really care about that. The question is, will they stay, and will it branch out and be bigger? I'm curious to find out. You've mentioned a few times that you get to work with who you want. You're going to do a solo show, right?
Starting point is 00:20:16 Well, I think it's going to be like, I think a solo show is sort of like you drift into Francesaville, which, like, I'm not... I realize, relax. Calm down now. No, no, no. like, I don't have Alzheimer's yet, so it's not entertaining. Listen, I'll take you out of this fucking studio, all right? Francesa's entertaining when he's by himself
Starting point is 00:20:33 because he's Francesa, you know. Although the Mike Zahn guy is better than Francesa. I mean, he is unbelievable. He's incredible. He's got the mannerisms, the voice, the everything. I've watched that last one with the bread, with the Pontius Pilate one like 30 times. So fucking funny.
Starting point is 00:20:47 It's like the fish. It's Jesus' thing. He'll be gone in six months. He's a fag. He's like, where do you get Pontius Pilate on the app? But the Francesco world, like I just can't. So I think of it more like it's not a great now, but almost like, because I'm not him, but almost like a Quivers to a Stern. Like someone who's 30% versus 70%.
Starting point is 00:21:06 Who that is, I have no idea. I feel like that's kind of how I'm going to talk to him after the show. It's funny. Like, I have heard, because I'm a New York guy. So I love this radio shit, man. And I was a WFAN guy. And so I didn't listen to you, but I learned about EI and Sports Hub and all that shit. And I mean, I feel like the radio world is the biggest goddamn soap opera in the world,
Starting point is 00:21:28 at least in New York, between Francesa feuding with the morning show and Carton with his legal troubles and Beningo getting, you know, I think it's the greatest soap opera on earth. Yeah. And so there's like this radio kind of culture within you actually doing the job as well, right? Do you play into that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, right? I mean, I feel like that's why people call you the stern is kind of culture within you actually doing the job as well. Right. Absolutely. Do you play into that? Oh yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:46 Right. I mean, I feel like that's why people call you the Stern is kind of like, yeah, you're living that, that persona. I always felt, and I listened to Stern.
Starting point is 00:21:54 He started in Boston at BCN at nights in like 94. And I hadn't really heard him before. I actually never found the stripper stuff interesting with Stern. I always found the in show fighting gossip, people backstabbing each other way more interesting. Right. And that's what I try to incorporate. Let's not take the strippers away. Sure, I understand.
Starting point is 00:22:11 That was like the first porn I ever saw. That holds a dear, dear place in my heart. That's the first porn you ever saw? Yeah. It's not pornography, though. But it's like when they would ride the Sibians and stuff like that. You could get that on Kazaa. You could download that kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:22:24 Yeah, it was special at that time. Now it doesn't move the needle at all, but back then, that was a big deal. See, I'm old enough to remember like literally my freshman year in high school,
Starting point is 00:22:30 six or seven of us passed this tape around, this porn tape, literally VHS tape in ninth grade. Yeah, the communal porn. Around to each other, yeah. And I put it in
Starting point is 00:22:38 and I didn't, you know, I had never seen porn. I knew what it was and it was this woman who had makeup all over her face, a huge fake wig like a belly like back acne like bleeding i was like i made it work i was like yeah i think
Starting point is 00:22:52 it was disgusting but i brought it home i was always a closer but always but but but i do but i yeah i think but i mean you know like this like i would much rather do this talk about shit, like the first time you freaking jacked off, than talk about whatever, Khloe Julian. Do you think you'll be doing that? I mean, like. Masturbating on the air, plan to. Yeah, I mean, why not, right? You're doing it right now. You're free, baby.
Starting point is 00:23:15 That's not an issue, is it? Well, yeah, that'll test the intercom freedom limits, the drama. I mean, look, in Boston, between us and the Sports Hub and Touch and Rich and Kirk and Callahan and Felger and Maz and guys getting fired and, like, you know, media is like the fifth sport in Boston. Yeah, right. It gets consumed. It gets read like crazy. People are just into it.
Starting point is 00:23:35 They just are. And I love when people say, oh, I don't care about it. You're just fucking lying. We have the data. We know the numbers. We like this stuff. Just embrace it. How much of your stuff was – because I always felt like you were maybe more vocal onto maybe
Starting point is 00:23:49 i just follow you and i don't follow anyone else but like like how many of your co-workers did you actively actually dislike first because i feel like you were always giving shit to like what's the reamer is it reimer i like alex alex he's a friend um and you're always busting my best friends i remember you writing an article this was years ago when I moved off the afternoon show and you were a midday show. Yeah. And I wrote, he was a friend of mine. One of the best guys. I knew he knew he'd wind up taking my job a few years later.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Uh, I like Jerry a lot. I like mud a lot. Uh, Dale Arnold and Rich Keefe in the middays. I have no use for them. The first time I ever really heard you and interact with you, you were, you were making fun. I think his Ordway, you were like fun. I think it was Ordway. You were like, he used to be a fucking titan of the industry, and now he's just like reading box scores in the midday.
Starting point is 00:24:30 I was like, oh, my God. Yeah, he's doing boner juice reads. It's a sad sight, but he's actually a friend. You thought Kirk was from 98.5. Yeah, I always got. I thought you were on the other station. I was like, wow, those guys really go at it. He was like, no, they're coworkers.
Starting point is 00:24:44 No, he's a friend. But I mean, how often are you shilling your friends? Yeah. But you know your friends. I think that's what people don't necessarily understand, though. So you've been very vocal on Twitter recently about who's not helping you, who's not embracing you at the station. How much of that is, are you starting the pot? How much of that was really like, fuck you guys for not having my back?
Starting point is 00:25:04 Well, everything's born from truth, I think yeah like jerry callahan was my partner he's one of my best friends he was put in a tough spot like i've said all along like any other chance to go with me to do this we're going to kind of kick off radio.com with this big set morning show like here we go and he's not um they're not really they don't want me they want you i'm sort of resistant to it and my thing was like if you don't want to do it, don't do it. It's okay. And he's the kind of guy who's more likely to go along, to get along. And that's kind of how you survive in radio, in traditional radio.
Starting point is 00:25:35 You kind of have to play ball. And, you know, Kirk Minahan don't play ball with no one. No walk alone. You know, I'm like James Van Der Beek in Varsity Blues. Okay. I don't want your laugh. I don't mean the character. I mean the actor himself on the set.
Starting point is 00:25:51 Oh, God. I'm more like him. I've watched documentaries about it. I don't know a fucking thing about James Van Der Beek on the set. Oh, incredible. Thank you for that completely ridiculous reference that no one's going to understand. That guy from that movie is dead, by the way. Is he?
Starting point is 00:26:02 Billy Bob? Yeah, Billy Bob. Billy Ray, whatever. Yeah, yeah. Probably weight was the figure. I could have guessed that one. I predicted that one. Billy Bob, Billy Ray, whatever. Yeah, yeah. Probably weight was the factor. I could have guessed that one. I predicted that one. You had him in the death pool.
Starting point is 00:26:08 Yeah, you're good. I would have guessed some kind of cardiac arrest. Do you ever think that maybe you walk alone a little too much? Like, you ever think you should start to play ball? Serious here. No, no, it's worked out fine. Because I mean, now, Craig Carton's a very different situation because he had this scarlet letter of criminal activity. He owes me Springsteen on Broadway tickets.
Starting point is 00:26:29 You know, if I'm going to get it. He's looking to get it. But he's an interesting case because I think he was great. He was one of the guys I grew up listening to, kind of like modeled myself after him in a lot of ways on the air. And I thought, I mean, we actually talked to him about working here if he had gotten off and all that shit and then he went and he did he has like a youtube show and i remember thinking like i mean carton is the reason why that morning show was good and why it became what it is he'll be fine and he left and went on to a different platform and i don't think the following like went with him and i don't know if that's because of well i think
Starting point is 00:27:02 there's activity yeah i think that's a big part of it right so so i i but i i wonder you know it's a good question eei the eei machine behind you or is it like i i am what eei you know who makes it yeah it's a good question you know radio.com is a pretty big platform i think you know i think it's different than what craig was trying to do and you know i think craig also like i i just i'm going to talk about different subjects that he talked about i think he's still sort of, when I watch, he's still sort of focused on sports in a way. But you're right. He definitely drove that show. I haven't listened to the show with the other guy.
Starting point is 00:27:31 I mean, you know, I very much enjoy it. It'll never be Boomer and Carton. I think it's different as opposed to better or worse. Right. But I think Gio is great. So, yeah. So, yeah. I mean, like I said, I think it's a coin flip.
Starting point is 00:27:44 Like, we could be sitting here a year from now, and I could be like, I'm a year in, this is great. I could be sitting here for a year from now being like, okay, I'm the intern here. I was going to say, if you come knocking on the door here, you know you're fucked up. Something has gone wrong along the way. So that's all the business side of things. But I think the reason why all this is happening and the crux of all of it is the mental health issues which i uh i think we're pretty ignorant to that sort of stuff i mean i don't think we i don't think you can really grasp it unless you've kind
Starting point is 00:28:15 of gone through it would you agree with that yeah we have some sort of yeah i mean yeah i've been compared to because i've only dealt with it but yeah i think i've been saying this sort of along the the all the people i've been talking to the last couple of weeks, I do think the last stigma for men is it's sort of emasculating to say you have mental illness in a way it's kind of not even that, but it's sort of like people say, well, you know, but there's no, there's no proof. It's not like you have a heart attack or you blow at your back or whatever.
Starting point is 00:28:39 You blow at your knee. Yeah. But it's, it's could be paralyzed. It could be, you know, debilitating. And it really, I was fine, but it could be paralyzed. It could be debilitating. Probably worse in a lot of ways. Really, I was fine, totally fine my entire life until I did the podcast with Feidelberg. And then after that, like I literally, something just hit me that day. I never, I was. It was such a depressing sight. It was depressing by osmosis.
Starting point is 00:29:00 We were in a closet, by the way. We were in a closet with construction going on outside. It was the whole set was just like. Bleak. It was, it was sad. I get it, by the way. We were in a closet with construction going on outside. The whole set was just bleak. It was. It was sad. I get it. I get it. This looks like what I imagine Jennifer Lopez's apartment would look like compared to where we taped that podcast.
Starting point is 00:29:13 It was about this big. I'm stunned because I thought this was the worst place in America to record a podcast. I thought it purposely looked like this. No. No. No. No. No.
Starting point is 00:29:23 No. No. No. This is all an accident am i sensing some some discord in the barstool world or no everyone's always yeah yeah well i mean more than usual or no no i mean it's always been this way yeah okay no okay yeah i mean it's always it's one of the listen you talk about like the drama of the radio world it's the drama of the blog world backststabbing and competition and rivalry. Who's the most hated person
Starting point is 00:29:45 in the room? Oh, in the room? No, no, I mean in the... Oh, yeah, Dave. Dave and me. Well, no, probably me after my personal shit. Everyone seemed to jump on that.
Starting point is 00:29:52 Oh, you mean like outward, like... No, I think you mean hated like... Within the company. No, yeah, within the company. Oh, I'm sorry. I mean Dave.
Starting point is 00:29:59 I would guess that's probably Dave. Yeah. I don't hate Dave, but I do. You hate him right now? I think Dave is probably the answer. I don't know. I mean, me and Dave had a good run with the Red Sox.
Starting point is 00:30:09 So we're still on tape. We're still looking for a honeymoon. What do you hate him for right now? Are you specific? He's just an asshole. He's a self-centered, narcissistic asshole. I actually don't hate him. Like, he doesn't do anything towards me.
Starting point is 00:30:19 It's like, I just don't agree with him. Do you love him, though? Like, hate him, love him? Definitely don't love him. I think there's a respect. Yeah, there's a mutual respect for him. Oh, jeez, I didn't realize it was this cold. It's like, I just don't agree with... Do you love them, though? Like, hate them, love them? Definitely don't love them. I think... You know what I mean? There's a respect. Yeah, there's a mutual respect for it. Oh, jeez, I didn't realize it was this cold. It's pretty chilly.
Starting point is 00:30:30 I mean, you guys play radio, so we'll show together for a few years. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's very... You were with us. I was at the Super Bowl with you guys. Yeah. Right?
Starting point is 00:30:36 Yeah, I mean, like, we'll always get along, and I actually think the disagreements we have in our, like, styles of... Our lifestyles make for good radio and good entertainment so we know that so i'm like well it's gonna it's gonna make us more money or get us more you know yeah so let's fucking part of the job absolutely uh yeah there's always been there's always you know soap opera yes secure drama but i the stigma stuff with the mental health is we we always joke around about the alpha alpha movement you're an alpha male and
Starting point is 00:31:04 we always joke around that we're the movement you're an alpha male and we always joke around that we're the beta boys because we we embrace all the other side of shit like we're not trying to be tough we're not trying to be we don't care to talk about sports we're like yeah yeah it does it's not i go to musicals if you're here if you got a little time mean girls highly recommend you don't have to sell me in your lack of masculinity i'm there very clear i'm there very Very clear. I'm there. Very understood. You saw the Mean Girls musical? Fucking awesome. He takes it a little far.
Starting point is 00:31:31 We're beta and then there's something after that. Was it better than the movie? Yeah, it was. I actually don't care for the movie too much. I think the movie's pretty overrated. Interesting. I've never seen it. No?
Starting point is 00:31:38 I don't know. Okay. So, but I think mental health is probably the serious version of all that where it's like, yeah. Well, it's hard. You don't know. Like, you don't. I believe in the last couple of months, particularly people, everyone's been very nice, but you don't really know what to say. So you just, you know, and you don't know for all you guys know, I could walk out of here and climb up a building and jump off it.
Starting point is 00:32:00 Right. Because you don't. Well, you don't know. It's a big break. Walk off this podcast. It'd be good for you guys. But you don't. If you're going to do it, do it right after this. Right. Because you don't, well, you don't know. It's a big break. Walk off this podcast. It'd be good for you guys. But you don't. If you're going to do it, do it right after this.
Starting point is 00:32:08 But you don't, you know, and you kind of cover things and you hide things because you don't want people to be concerned or upset around you. You have a family. So you're worried about all these things. But at the same time, it's sort of like I said, especially sort in July and August, I was really, really, you know, felt like I was having a heart attack all the time. And then, you know, once I was able to sort of get help and got out there, it was a relief. So I feel pretty good right now. The medications are working. I feel good.
Starting point is 00:32:34 So we'll see. With the medications, were you ever scared of taking them? Because, like, I always think about stuff like that with me personally where it's like I don't want to take anything because what makes me me is being a little off and a little angry all the time. A little down all the time. I'm always worried, what if that fixed? Am I just out of a fucking job? If you become normal, you're not interested at all.
Starting point is 00:32:57 That was a concern for me too. Years and years ago when I took the stuff, I definitely felt like there was a sort of cover over me. Now I don't. They've medicated me to a point where I feel like I can get angry, but I feel like I'm no less funny or stupid. I feel the same as I do that way. But yeah, it was definitely a concern. But after a while, it's like when you get hospitalized and you go to a psych ward, at some point you have to say it's important to be kind of like funny and witty but it's also important
Starting point is 00:33:26 to you know be alive stay alive I mean it's a tough it's a tough balance but you're right that bug that I fought that for years I talked about in the air I didn't want to do it yeah I think I think it's something particularly in like the entertainment world yeah world where everyone's fucked up but like you're also scared of getting better
Starting point is 00:33:42 because like getting better might mean you're less interesting. Right. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think? I think you're still firing on all cylinders. Good.
Starting point is 00:33:51 Yeah. Okay. I mean, I've had limited interaction, but I would never notice that there was even a difference between Super Bowl and now. Yeah. Right. Were you aware of, I mean, I'm wondering when you figure out, like, I'm depressed versus, like, I'm sad. Does that make sense?
Starting point is 00:34:08 Well, yeah. So I've had it for years and years and years. So I was hospitalized, like, right after high school. And, you know, I lost both my parents last year. And then. Sorry to hear that. Are you sorry to hear it, too? No, I don't piggyback on it.
Starting point is 00:34:26 Oh, you're the first sorry guy? You're either the first sorry guy or you're out? Yeah, I'll say it later. Same thing with dinner, when you thank someone for dinner. I'll say it when we get to the parking lot if someone already said it at the table. I don't piggyback on happy birthdays. I don't piggyback on sorries, thank yous. I'll get you later.
Starting point is 00:34:44 So what I'm good at, my thing is, I'm the best ever at, like, I'll hold the door for somebody as long as possible, even if I see them, like, 300 yards away. Make them jog? No, because I feel like that's, like, the least amount of, but you get a thank you for that. Yeah, yeah. And they think you're a really good guy. Like, I'm the master of that, like, the false hustle.
Starting point is 00:34:57 No, see, I hate to do that all day. If you hold the door far away from me, I'm like, fuck, you let it close. I don't want to do the half shuffle. And I'll fucking hold it. We'll battle. And I'll be like, no, no. You know what? If I'm ever near you, I'm going to walk don't want to do the half shuffle. And I'll be like, no, no. If I'm ever near you, I'm going to walk so goddamn slow to that door. And guess what I'll do? I'll sit there.
Starting point is 00:35:10 I'll say all that if I want. False hustle, I am the king of that. My biggest false hustle move is when a waitress is going behind me, I always just lean forward. Which doesn't help. I'm like, don't worry, I'm trying to get out of your way. I know for a fact I'm not helping.
Starting point is 00:35:24 I'm also, another duel I'll do, I'm the king of the thank you, thank you with the waitress and the waiter. Like, I will fucking say thank you 45 times.
Starting point is 00:35:30 Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. You're welcome, you're welcome. And I'm like, I'm going to do this
Starting point is 00:35:34 until you get mad at me. We did it at a, we did a podcast, we were coming back from the SEC championship last year, and we recorded a podcast in the Atlanta airport,
Starting point is 00:35:42 which doesn't sell alcohol in the morning, in case you're wondering. Brutal. And we were ordering, we were recording the podcast at a terrible airport. which doesn't sell alcohol in the morning, in case you're wondering. And we were ordering, we were recording the podcast at... It's a terrible airport. It's the fucking worst airport. And on the podcast, I kept being like, and I'll please have, and I'll please have.
Starting point is 00:35:53 And Kevin was like, it's actually getting a little egregious. It was. It was like, this is so disingenuous now. It's not. It's just reflexive. I'm just like, thank you. Thank you. Please. So goddamn polite. So anyway, I lost my parents and I didn't think the anniversary was going to matter that much. They died seven weeks apart.
Starting point is 00:36:14 So I didn't think the anniversary was going to matter that much because every day was tough. But, and I didn't think about it until my doctor talked to me afterwards, but I think it did. And it kind of built up and built up and my temper got shorter and I was angry at work and I was, you know, just hiding stuff and i was crying all the time i was weepy it was and i got to the point in august that first week in august i wound up being hospitalized where that day where i was literally like you know i went to work i had a rough meeting after work
Starting point is 00:36:37 but like the whole day i was and i was like i'm i was like i'm i'm thinking about checking out here i just think i can't handle this anymore yeah Yeah, I mean, that's a – so when you had suicidal thoughts, you were talking like you were planning on how you were about to do it or you just got like – you had thoughts of like I don't want to live anymore. Yeah, so I had spent some time in the week or two before planning it. There's trains in Winchester, the town where I grew up, and I would – I explained almost like I was in – it felt like I was almost investigating how somebody would do it. So I would go and look at the speed of the train.
Starting point is 00:37:09 I remember a few times, you know, the Medford train stop and the Winchester train stop aren't that far apart, a couple miles apart. And I actually would go into the woods, and I kind of walked down a mile to see how fast the train would be going at that point. So I sort of planned it up that far. And so that night where I was like, I think I might do this. I went up there that night and started walking in there. It was in the summer in August. And I kind of was walking and I actually stopped and I said, I don't want to live like this, but I don't want to die. I have two great kids. I have a great family. I have a great wife. I have great, you know, people who love me. I don't want to live like this. So I got
Starting point is 00:37:43 back in the car and drove myself to Winchester Hospital and told the person at the front desk I was having these thoughts, and away we went, which leads me – sorry if you want to react to it. This leads me to that porn noise story, actually, if you want to hear it. Perfect, yeah. This is true. I almost did it with Dave, too, once. Yeah, he's driven me to that point as well.
Starting point is 00:38:02 Continue. So I check in there, and they – you know, the woman is very nice, and I'm a mess. And they bring you to the separate little wing fort. And they take everything. They take your shoes. They take your wallet. They take your phone for a while. And you're just in there.
Starting point is 00:38:17 And the guy was a security guy, nice guy. He was a little younger than me. That's the most scary, to be alone with your thoughts at that time. Yeah. Well, yeah, well, I mean, it had been like an hour after. So you talk to the people, and they kind of put you there, and you're in there. But you're in a room that's, I would say, half this size, and you're just sitting there. And the guy comes in, and he's like, is there anything I can do to help you, okay?
Starting point is 00:38:37 And I said, no, I'm all right. And he said, I'm not saying that, but I just want you to know I'm a really big fan of you and the show. I'm like, oh, you know, thanks. You know, I appreciate that. And he's like, I got to ask you something. What's Portnoy really like? No way. Swear to God.
Starting point is 00:38:52 No way. Swear to God. You have got to be kidding me. That guy should be fucking fired. He should be institutionalized. That's a crazy move to do that. In a way, it was some levity, in a way. And I actually said
Starting point is 00:39:05 i was like i was like you know what he's kind of an asshole i said but like he's an asshole i sort of like yeah yeah and he's like okay well if you need anything i'll be out there and he literally is out like you know right where these guys are looking at you making sure you don't do anything so he's sitting there looking at me and i'm looking at him for like an hour after this conversation i'm like what the fuck am I? What happened? I am speechless. That happened, yeah. I'm happy to hear that it was levity for you. I would have been like, I'm going back to the train station.
Starting point is 00:39:34 It was the fucking asshole. Wow. That would have been the most dangerous thing to say to him by the time. I guess so. It did seem slightly unprofessional in that respect. Yeah, man. I mean, I think it's incredible to, you know, have that thought, internalize it, deal with it like the way you did. Because, I mean, I've had the worst year of my life.
Starting point is 00:39:54 I'm depressed as shit, but never approached anything like that. Yeah. Where you start to have those thoughts and I think it, you know. There's no way that, you know, and I really haven't, you know, I really haven't, you know, I think the medication helps. And that pain that I had there for months, I haven't had, you know, and I've gone through a lot professionally since then. Right. And it's been, you know, you gain some perspective. I mean, you know, I was in McLean and Belmont for five days.
Starting point is 00:40:17 And, you know, the first night they check on you every five minutes and you're in it. It's sort of that thing. And you see these people who you think are fucked up. These poor people are in there for five, six months. I mean, people who are, you know, younger than I am, who have been in there seven, eight times. And so, you know, I need, it was, it is a good thing overall that happened. I'm glad that, uh, you know, and I was able to address, I did on the radio and the feedback
Starting point is 00:40:39 has been, has been great. So, yeah. So I feel, but I feel good. I think the perspective is important. And I was listening to you on Deitch's podcast. Yeah. And he was talking about, you know, does going through this give you pause to do what you do? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:53 I think that is, I guess it's an interesting question, but I think it's such a gigantic leap to connect some of those things. Yeah. I just think that's a question you ask if you don't do what I do in a way. So if I don't do it, I'm still going to think the same thing. It's just dumb, so now I say them. So no, yeah, I don't. Like, would it give you perspective to, like, attack or make, the word attack, by the way, is very ridiculous. I say it differently, like, do what you do, as in, like, stay in the entertainment business. Because I think that is, I feel like that's something that magnifies everything.
Starting point is 00:41:25 Where you're like, I am having a bad day. And also, like, my Twitter, everyone's yelling at me. No doubt. And it's like, the stress is much bigger. I think Chappelle had a good thing about that with the entertainment industry. Yeah. Where he's like, we're all really fucked up. But he's going through, like, who was it?
Starting point is 00:41:39 Mariah Carey and Chappelle and Tracy Morgan, maybe something like that where he was like he's like there's a reason like all of us Tracy Martin Tracy Martin uh Marlon Marlon Scott was like there's a reason all of us kind of snap at some point yeah because he's like he's like maybe our industry's a little fucked up yeah no that I think is a valid question I meant more and so did you have any thoughts of that like I need no I mean I just you know I mean it's like you said you still have the same thoughts I'm gonna do I mean you know I make a shitload of money and like I mean I mean, I just, you know, I mean, it's like you said, you still have the same thoughts. What the fuck else am I going to do? I mean, you know, I make a shitload of money. And like, I mean, realistically, what am I going to do? Right.
Starting point is 00:42:08 You know, I can't, I literally can't do anything else. Right. And I think, by the way, I think if I worked at, you know, as an insurance, you know, I think I'd hate, I'd piss my boss sometimes. And, you know, I think that my guess is the suicide percentage and in the entertainment industry versus a lawyer is exactly the same. Yeah. I mean, in a way, I almost think. Depression is depression. You know, I think it it's i think maybe you get an outlet more yeah i think there's some at a desk you'd probably be building it all up i think the fact that you
Starting point is 00:42:31 can right maybe rant and rave a little bit get some of that frustration out i think what uh dyche was talking more about the idea of attacking people which i i mean that word is ridiculous to say that you attack people because you like why Why attack them? I don't think you attack – But I think it's justified. I think you vehemently disagree. I think you criticize. I think you argue. I don't think you attack anybody. I think if you deserve to be attacked, I'll attack.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Well, yeah, I think it's a semantical battle. But, yeah, I don't – I mean it's not like I'm, you know, kind of random. I'm not going to start telling people, you know, you should kill yourself. Right. It's going to be – if somebody does something stupid, I'm still going to call them out for it. And if they think I'm stupid, they should call me out for it. I've never had an issue with fighting or battling at all. I mean, a couple nights ago, I went on the radio with Howie Carr,
Starting point is 00:43:11 who in Boston is as right-wing as it gets. And then the next hour I was on TV with Sue O'Connell, who you were talking about with your dad. She's as left-wing as it gets. Like, I enjoy the sparring. I enjoy it. You have an opinion. You fight about it.
Starting point is 00:43:21 When you disagree with them and it's done, you kind of laugh about it. It's not the end of the world. That's what I'm saying. I think but some people and the thought that you can't I think most people just can't handle that anymore well I think social media
Starting point is 00:43:29 has turned everyone into pussies right you know they just and you look at your you can look at your mentions and I've seen them
Starting point is 00:43:35 I know you guys have where you see it and it's like you know I see them people like go fucking kill yourself and you're like well what I mean what are you
Starting point is 00:43:41 what are you gonna fucking really what are you gonna do you can't convince me to kill myself and like I'm not that i'm not that worried about you know minahan sucks asshole 69 on twitter says about me like you know it's not that you know i mean like that's because you're secure enough and confident enough but there are people who do totally minahan sucks 69 things yeah i get it and it's like and i get that we see we deal with that
Starting point is 00:44:02 a lot and i think because you've been just, again, in the industry for so long, like when we have new people come into the office here. Yeah, it's got to be like a. And they are experiencing it for the first time in their lives. Like no matter what kind of following you had at first, it is a different because we are that drama-centric type deal. We've seen it too on our show because we used to have, when my old show with Jerry would have rotating people in,
Starting point is 00:44:21 and you'd see them for the first or second time. And you'd give it, there's a text line and there's the tweets and they're like, they're like, holy shit, this guy, and these are beat writers who never have any, you know, no,
Starting point is 00:44:29 this guy says I suck. I'm like, well, fucking ignore them. Who cares? You're here, you know, do your show.
Starting point is 00:44:35 But some people, I think it changes the way they think. I think it changes the way they write. I think it changes. They are, they are dictated, completely controlled, governed,
Starting point is 00:44:42 as I say, by Twitter. Yeah. People who say they don't pay attention or notice it all is bullshit. You have to notice it, recognize it, and just not change what you're doing. Correct. If you tell me you can't, you don't look. You're fucking lying.
Starting point is 00:44:53 Everyone looks. Because I know I would change. You don't look? Well, right. I don't look because I know I would change. But you have your own recognition in a way. You don't want your mentions at all? Oh, my mentions are fine.
Starting point is 00:45:01 No, no. I mean like comment sections and reddits and things like that. Oh, yeah. Because I know, like, it's always kind of portrayed as like a tough thing but like no i know it would affect me i know i don't it wouldn't affect me to the point where i'd want to go like kill myself because i said that but it would affect me it would change my writing i try and like i would try yeah i would try and cater to them and shit but in a way the fact that you're acknowledging that is almost like as long as you you're just being honest with yourself on some level about feedback, I think is the point.
Starting point is 00:45:28 I think anybody who's just like, it doesn't affect me. It's like it's affecting you on some level and you know that. So you handle it how you want to handle it. Anybody who doesn't acknowledge that you're just fucking lying. It's human nature to, you know, care on some level what people say. I think everyone wants to be like, right. I think there are very few people in the world who enjoy going out and being the villain.
Starting point is 00:45:47 And I think it also takes a certain amount of success to even get to that point where you can be the villain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The I guess the troll aspect of like feeling responsible for your
Starting point is 00:46:03 fans trolling someone. I have none of that. I mean, that's also, maybe it's just when you're not in the position. I think that is an utterly ridiculous concept. That, like, you have to be responsible for the fucking losers of the internet. Right, you guys know. You have people who are crazy passionate, crazy fans of you guys. I'm lucky that I have that, too.
Starting point is 00:46:22 And just because I feel a certain way, if somebody attacks me and i decided to go back at them we did this with um jesus who was it somebody at deadspin you and i both oh yeah uh i mean i don't even you know i'm talking about a was yeah it was him to where he you know he's written about us but you guys a lot and he basically i have some about my mental health but then he just took a bunch of cheap shitty shots of me he just like embedded tweets. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:46 It was weird. None of his own opinions. It was just like, it's like, just look what people are saying about Kirk. That was basically, we know Desmond sucks, but I was just like,
Starting point is 00:46:53 you know, sort of, you know, I kind of had a reaction to that. And then, you know, um, but yeah,
Starting point is 00:46:59 there's this sort of, and then, then a bunch of people who liked me and like you guys, I'm sure went at them and the same thing with people at the globe. And then the, what they do is they take these cheap shots for you, write these stories, and then they duck and hide behind this. Oh, the trolls are attacking me. Again, unless it's my doing these fake Twitter accounts myself, you think I have these control of these human beings? They happen to be on my side.
Starting point is 00:47:21 Now, when the Globe does these things and the people who like what she says attack me, they have no problem with it. So it's like, this is the deal. If you go on social media, if you advertise your stuff on social media, you put it out there, you're going to take some shit too. That is the deal, especially if you have a strong opinion that people are going to disagree with. That's the deal. I think the people should be saying, you know,
Starting point is 00:47:39 death threats. By the way, I think death threats on Twitter are bullshit anyway. I mean, they're just, oh, it's a person that's going to fucking kill you. But should you be doing that? Of course not. Should you be saying, no, no, but you could take a little bit of fucking beat down on Twitter. That's life. I feel like you kind of do feel responsible.
Starting point is 00:47:58 I don't feel responsible, but I just don't feel like dealing with it. That's kind of where it is. I'm not like, oh, I feel bad about this happening. I'm just like, you know what? It's not worth it. You know what really the funny point was the breaking point for me, because I think the trolls always think they have your best interest in mind, but it's really, we're hustling backwards with it. And it was with, it was good morning, good morning football or something like that.
Starting point is 00:48:18 Whatever. Oh, the one with, yeah, yeah. They had kind of a rant, I guess Taylor LeJuan a a couple weeks ago, had said the Tennessee Titans deserve more national coverage. And then they kind of ripped them, and I've become something of a Titans fan. Sorry, I missed that segment. Sounds great. It was through Brable and stuff like that. And so I kind of just did a joke.
Starting point is 00:48:39 And the guy who ran here is like, your team tagline is dredged up from the bowels of a basketball comment section. And I just quote to him. And I was just busting balls. I was like, hey, Kyle Brandt, I don't appreciate the comment section dig or something like that. And then people just started attacking, like, going crazy on him. And I was like, guys, I was just fucking up with him. Why are you attacking? Like, don't.
Starting point is 00:49:00 If I need your help, I will ask for your help. If I'm just quote tweeting someone and responding to them, leave me the fuck alone to do it. Yeah, no, I mean, I get that. And that's an instance where it's like, that guy definitely didn't deserve it. But if I want to get like the Viking horn out. Sounds like an asshole to me. He was able to be fair.
Starting point is 00:49:15 He made fun of the uniforms. I mean, the uniform was true. Like it was like, they're not an exciting team. And it was like everything he said made sense. I didn't disagree with what he said. It was just, I was just kind of busting balls. And people just started going nuts. Like, fuck you. Like, I think a couple people called him faggot. It was like everything he said made sense you know i didn't disagree but he said it was just i was just kind of busting balls and people just started going nuts like fuck you like i think a couple people called him faggot it was like dude all right well i get that okay so that's
Starting point is 00:49:32 a zero but let's like out of ten but let's say that you lost your job and somebody at the boston globe has been trying to take you down the day after you lose your job writes a piece and says basically with giving no proof that you're a racist that you're a sexist that you're this and that and they dance in your grave, you might want the back of your people at that point. That time I would, no doubt. So I enjoyed that. I admit that I don't control it,
Starting point is 00:49:53 but she'll tweet something and I'll retweet it just so everybody will... I'll completely cop to that. I mean, but is that... Is that bad? I mean, you're... I don't think it's bad. I'm not sending people to her home. I mean, I don't want anybody to leave her alone.
Starting point is 00:50:10 I don't care. But if you decide to put your platform on social media, get your stuff out there. You reap the whirlwind sometimes. You could argue yourself when you're spreading your platform. I'm trying to do. I mean, if you're going to get all the benefits of social media and the exposure and the clicks and, you know, theoretically money and promotions and all that shit, there is some downsides to it. If you write controversial pieces, there's going to be a lot of people who disagree with you. If you come at someone who's popular and has a lot of fans, they're not going to like you.
Starting point is 00:50:35 I don't understand when we got to the point where the internet has to be, like, friendly and, you know, friendly to everybody at all times. I don't know. It's a fucking – it's a bad place. The internet is a bad fucking place. I cannot control that. I cannot stop the internet from being mean and scary. I was about to say, if I offered you guys right now that, like, Twitter would go away for six months,
Starting point is 00:50:56 wouldn't you take it? Do you want it in your life? Like, don't you get sad? I mean, it's a true, like, addiction to me. I know, I'd be probably happier. Like, after a week, you'd be like, this is great. You know what I think it is? I think if it went away for everybody, I'd be all right.
Starting point is 00:51:10 Yeah, that's what I mean. Twitter just goes away for six months. I mean, we need it for our jobs. I understand that. But I also think we're getting so in this fucking Twitter bubble. Still, most people in the world aren't on Twitter. No, absolutely not. We've got this weird circle.
Starting point is 00:51:22 Twitter's small enough, and then who you follow and who follows you is even smaller. Right. Then you get into Boston, and you get into Boston sports media. I mean, you're talking about a fraction of a fraction of a fraction. That's why it's always so crazy when people get worked up about the mention. It's like, you have 200,000 followers. One person said they don't like you. Right.
Starting point is 00:51:39 Why is that an issue right now? Yeah, no, I mean— But it is. You do feel like it's—when you're on Twitter, you feel like you have the whole world in your hands, when in reality you have— You get in this moment where you're no, I mean. But it is. You do feel like it's, you feel, when you're on Twitter, you feel like you have the whole world in your hands when in reality you have. You get in this moment where you're like,
Starting point is 00:51:48 I have to weigh in on this. It's like, you're just a person. And I fall in that trap all the time. I was saying that yesterday with the door tester stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:57 Did you see that? So door testers in the town of Mass, or outside of Boston, and they sent out Christmas cards. I think the Historical Society sent out Christmas cards
Starting point is 00:52:04 and said, we're dreaming of a white door protest. And I agree, the person who made that is dumb. You should see that and be like, oh, that doesn't say anything. Was he a racist? No. No. But it's a fucking very popular Christmas song. So everyone who saw that and felt the need to, like, you can just throw that in the trash and go on with your day.
Starting point is 00:52:20 Well, that's the social justice warrior stuff. It doesn't affect you. It's fucking exhausting. But I think that goes to everybody once. Somebody tweets out and everyone's like, oh, you're so thoughtful. Oh, that's so – people just need that. They get off on that. And also I think there is a – in like the takedown culture is that there's – you almost – there are people who have never felt part of a community. I feel like where you never – you kind of felt like an outlier in high school or like whatever.
Starting point is 00:52:41 You didn't play sports. You didn't really have a group. And it's like, okay, now I feel part of don't i i'm part of the people who got this pound of flesh and i feel great about that it's like that's that's a shitty way to go about it but i guess like everyone's kind of searching for that community feeling yeah and i just i mean again we're talking about like your fucking app on your fucking phone really those people who showed up at what's his face's house uh tucker carlson's house like fucking did you see that like a couple weeks ago they like yeah i mean they were his wife was hiding
Starting point is 00:53:09 in the fucking closet calling the police because it was like people outside the house it's a bit much like i agree uh we shouldn't be doing that but i think you can handle mean tweets you know what i mean it's like let's let's keep things in perspective here uh so radio.com we don't we don't know exactly when we're starting, right? No, I think early next year. If I had to guess, I'd say early February maybe. But yeah, I guess I'll probably know more in the next week or two. But yeah, it'll start in early February.
Starting point is 00:53:38 And you're thinking? I know Fights mentioned earlier, solo show, but would you be looking for a partner? Yeah, like I said, I want somebody who I can at least bounce shit off of. Like, I think, like I said, working by yourself, I think, is tough. I would not be able to do that at all. I agree you wouldn't. This would not work.
Starting point is 00:53:54 Nobody wants to hear that. Nobody wants. But I was never, you know, I get asked all, the question I get asked the most from people, like, is, like, how close are you to coming here? Yeah. The answer was not, I mean, not very close at all. I don't think we can afford you. You're fucking. Well, I'm just afford you you're fucking well i'm just saying you're overpaid i'm just saying i'm just saying anyway like but you know porno was like you can work here you know whenever you want i think the last text he's like he's like you can work here when you're not so depressed
Starting point is 00:54:14 and i thought well that's a nice way to play but it was not like you know but i can listen if you had problems with the way eei handled your mental health issues, I don't think this is the place for you. Oh my god. I don't know. Actually, that's a good little thought. What would Dave do if you said... I actually, as much as I hate him, he would not pile on. I think he'd handle it better than EEI.
Starting point is 00:54:37 Legally, it's tricky. You're at the point now where you can't... But Dave doesn't know any of that. But there are people who do. You have an HR person here, right don't no oh is that true do you have hr here i don't know it's a company no i mean someone got someone got shot in the head with a paintball gun yesterday and was ranting and raving and nobody cared i mean there's nobody there's enough that's the funniest thing you said on the show you come in here make fun of him for being dumb that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard.
Starting point is 00:55:05 That's a pretty fucking dumb question. I could walk in here. I could never figure out what I would be, let's say everything worked out that way. What would I do? Yeah, you know what I would do? Do radio and write some blogs. You're on EI, right? Do a podcast and do a radio. Yeah, I don't even listen to it. Yeah, sure, why not?
Starting point is 00:55:21 I think you would be a good fit here. Isn't there one with the, isn't there girls now who talk, like, sure, why not? I think you would be a good fit here. Yeah. Isn't there one with the, isn't there girls now who talk, like, which one's that? There's a lot of girls now. No, but there's one that's like crazy, right? Yeah, there's one that's super sexual. Like, what do they talk about? Fucking. Just fucking.
Starting point is 00:55:37 That's it. You guys are going to be the, oh, really? Oh, yeah, I mean, they go in. They go, yeah. HR has no issue with that? They're fine with it. Do you think you could end up here? Like you just said, you never were close right now. Well, Porter always said if I got fired, I could come here.
Starting point is 00:55:58 Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't move here. We talked about that. He said I wouldn't have to. Right. Thornton's still here, right? He still works for Barstool? Yep. Yeah. What does he do? Does he have a podcast or no?
Starting point is 00:56:08 He did one last year. He did a football one. I think right now he's just back to writing. Okay. So I think I would, you know, yeah. You know what you should do here? It's almost like you should pull like when the Mets sign a star past his prime when he's older and they give him money he doesn't deserve.
Starting point is 00:56:22 That would be me. Do that. I could do that. Come here when you're like Francesa age and Barstool will be like, we got a man ahead. And he'll just mail it in. Super heavy medication. I'm sitting there like, oh, yeah, it's good to be here.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Yeah, what's going on in the world these days? I could do that. I could handle that. But, yeah, I would say, you know, I mean, yeah, absolutely. Why not? I don't know. Do you listen to anything? I listen to you guys a little bit. I listen to part of my take. You don't have to lie. No, I do. I do. I listen? I don't know. Do you listen to anything? I listen to you guys a little bit.
Starting point is 00:56:45 I listen to part of my take. You don't have to lie. No, I do. I do. I listen to part of my take. Obviously, I hate Carabas, so I don't listen to that podcast. Yeah, I mean, like a little bit rundown. You know, it's sort of.
Starting point is 00:56:56 Do you listen to anything outside of Barstool? Like, in general, do you have like a show? Oh, like podcasts? Like, we don't listen to podcasts, me and John. Oh, you don't? Everyone's like, what do you listen to? Oh, I listen to podcasts all the time. Really?
Starting point is 00:57:04 Yeah. What's your favorite? It's apartment take, John. Oh, you don't? Everyone's like, what do you listen to? I listen to podcasts all the time. Really? Yeah. What's your favorite? The apartment I take, obviously. Yeah, the apartment I take is my favorite. You know, like I listened to when Dirty John came out, I listened to that. I listened to like Dr. Death, which came out, which is actually good. It was a pretty good one.
Starting point is 00:57:17 Startup.com, I just listened to. Or Startup, I think it's called. I listened to a couple of those. Like, it's sort of, I don't listen to outside of sports, though. It's not something I feel like you'd be interested in. It's surprising. Why is that? Well, just because it's one-dimensional. It's not. I feel like you'd be interested in it. It's surprising. Why is that? Well, just because it's one dimensional.
Starting point is 00:57:28 It's not stuff you like to talk about. What do you mean? Of startups. Yeah. So startups and what was the other one? Dr. Death. I guess I don't know what these are. I'm just going by.
Starting point is 00:57:38 What do you think I like to talk about? Like Dr. Death, I feel like is a murder mystery podcast. It was. It was good. It was good. You know what's a good podcast? It's called I Was There Too. And it's a movie podcast where they interview like smaller, not in terms of size, but in terms of the role, cast members of big movies. And they sort of talk like they had the dad from the end of Field of Dreams.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Right. So we talked about what the movie was like. That's a cool podcast. So this is the shit you're going to be talking about, you think? I don't know. Maybe. I have no idea. I don't know. It sounds pretty boring, right? I'm fucked. No, I have the girls on. We'll talk about all that shit. That's what we always run into, too. We have no idea. I don't know. It sounds pretty boring, right? I'm fucked. No, I mean, we'll have the girls on. We'll talk about all this shit.
Starting point is 00:58:07 Well, that's what we always run into, too, is we talk about whatever. Yeah, I have no, right. See, that kind of fucks us. Like, sales always tells us, like, you're kind of too broad. There's not, like, an exact... But, you know,
Starting point is 00:58:16 when you specialize in this world... Don't ever listen to sales. Oh, yeah, no, I don't care. I'm just saying, you know, as you start this new shit, like, it sounds like you'd want to talk about movies
Starting point is 00:58:24 and murder mysteries and shit like that. Yeah, I read books and watch movies and TV and shit like that. I'm just saying, you know, as you start this new shit, like, it sounds like you would want to talk about movies and murder mysteries and shit like that. I read books and watch movies and TV and shit. Like, I don't, you know, I think you should do that, Kirk. Well, I'm going to. And Jerry, I love Jerry Callahan, but sometimes we'd start the show, like, the first half hour segment. I'm like, let's just bullshit and let's see what's going on. And after that first half hour, sometimes it'd be like, well, what do we need to get into? I'm like, well, nothing.
Starting point is 00:58:42 People in the car, if they know we're having a good time, it's a good conversation. I think old school radio is like, well, you got to get to this and this and this and tease this. And when we get back, you're not going to believe what Nick Saban said. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to believe it. I'm going to guess it's about football. This is not a great mystery. So just fucking, that's one thing from Sturman. The guy just talked.
Starting point is 00:59:04 He talked like people talk radio is so full of fucking fake fuckwads and you're like fuck you I hate your fucking guts I need my meds
Starting point is 00:59:15 even the even like what's the name of your segment what's the game you're gonna play like we've done that for years
Starting point is 00:59:22 we try to like come up with shit and we'll do it for like one or two episodes and then we're like fucking who cares let's just talk the sales people here must be cool it's the game you're going to play. Like, we've done that for years. We try to, like, come up with shit, and we'll do it for, like, one or two episodes, and then we're like, fucking who cares? Let's just talk. It doesn't feel natural. The salespeople here must be cool to some extent, though.
Starting point is 00:59:30 I mean, they must have some idea what's going on. Yeah, I'm not saying they're not cool, but I think it's easier to pitch and easier to make money when it's like, we go after the golf demographic, we go after the NBA demographic, we go after movies. We're, like, everything. And so it's like, jack of all trades master of none i think it makes their job a little harder but what's the picture part of my take for sale i mean though it's so successful it doesn't matter but what's what's that and you know a sentence uh you know sports satire you know
Starting point is 00:59:57 uh mocking the entire sports industry you know what i mean right uh the shitload with us just like the only thing that we consistently do i I always just say, like, we just tell the truth about all topics. Like, you're going to get the raw, unfiltered answer no matter what. People are like voicemails and stuff like that. Yeah, I know. I know. I know.
Starting point is 01:00:15 You want to do some? You do that, would you rather be a dolphin with six hands or a man with 11 legs? All right, well, what's your fucking answer, Kirk? Dolphins, they have a pretty good life. I listen, I listen. I listen. Do we have any voicemails? You want to do a couple voicemails? Sure, let's
Starting point is 01:00:36 do voicemails. We'll get Kirk Minahan doing a couple here. Just to see, you know, consider this maybe like a test for your new gig. Can you expand? Yeah. Can I use these or no? Do I need these headphones? No, I'm no. I'm a team player. This is what happens when you're like a
Starting point is 01:00:51 millionaire over here. It's like, oh, I made so much money, I built my own show, and now I don't wear headphones. I have no hearing. Do I have no hearing in my left ear? That's the barstool difference. Believe me, he has worse. Where are you going to be doing the new show from? That's another good question.
Starting point is 01:01:09 I think amazingly I'm going to be doing it a floor above where the station is. Oh, shit. That makes things quite interesting. I'm thinking like Inglourious Bastards, just fucking lock the doors and let it rip. Just walk out. I know, uh, you know, you said you're,
Starting point is 01:01:27 you're still friends with everybody, but do you think there'll be any sort of like competition? Do you think like the day that you can, let's say, you know that you're doing better than the morning show or something, but we have a sense of satisfaction. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 01:01:37 But, but, but like Mike Manansky and Jerry Callahan are doing the show. Ken Laird and Chris Curtis, the producers, they're all my friends. And like, it's weird,
Starting point is 01:01:44 but it's weird. Like, do I want them to do well? Yes. Do I want them to fail? Yes.d and Chris Curtis, the producers, they're all my friends. And like, it's weird, but it's weird. Like, do I want them to do well? Yes. Do I want them to fail? Yes. It's just weird.
Starting point is 01:01:49 Like, I don't care who you are. Like, I'm not going to sit here and say, oh, well, I hope the show's number one for 10 years
Starting point is 01:01:53 and then everybody forgets. It's fucking bullshit. I mean, that's kind of the same thing as here where it's always like, we want everyone to do well. Also, we want to do the best.
Starting point is 01:02:00 Right. I like them to be a solid, really solid, but not quite as good. Like you said about how you feel about the show on FN in the mornings now. You know, like a solid, really solid, but not quite as good. Like you said about how you feel about the show on FN in the mornings now.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Yeah. It's good, but it's not what it was. Right. That's my hope. I remember Landon Donovan when he didn't make the World Cup team.
Starting point is 01:02:13 Remember that? He was like, oh, I wish them the best. Don't lie. You wish they were lost right away. Well, then he started rooting for Mexico,
Starting point is 01:02:20 though. Yeah. See, that's what I would be doing. For anybody. Whatever. Fuck you guys. Get rid of me, I'll get rid of you.
Starting point is 01:02:26 We got a couple tuned up here. Hey, what's up, guys? First time voicemail call in. This is a pretty weird one, I guess. Oh, boy, Kirk. I've been thinking about this for at least the past three hours, which is huge for me. So back in, like, the days, whatever you want to call it,
Starting point is 01:02:50 how much of an advantage would Nike athletic gear serve in a war? Like all the shit, shoes, jackets, all that stuff, compression gear. Would that serve as a big advantage Or is that just modern day pussy shit And it wouldn't matter at all This is zero points You don't think it matters at all No, fucking of course not
Starting point is 01:03:15 There is zero thing difference That a Sweat wicking shirt under chain mail I feel like some footwear might matter No I mean People died because of the cold in the winter though A sweat-wicking shirt under chain mail would ring. I feel like some footwear might matter. No. No. I mean, people died because of the cold in the winter, though. There you go.
Starting point is 01:03:30 The winter gear. Yeah. They were wearing, like, wool, though. Like, how much does cold gear actually help you? That's true. Like, I remember I used to wear that shit in high school because I thought it was cool. I was never like, oh, my God, I can't believe I'm not wearing a T-shirt. This is so different.
Starting point is 01:03:42 Right. But I'm thinking about just, like, comparing it to sports, right? It's like you used to play in, like, Chuck Taylors. You were playing with, like, two pieces of paper I can't believe I'm not wearing a t-shirt. This is so different. Right, but I'm thinking about comparing it to sports, right? You used to play in Chuck Taylors. You were playing with two pieces of paper stapled around your feet. It matters when you're on the basketball court and you've got the newest gear and support for your ankles and shit. I'd have to imagine if you're fighting a war, every little bit
Starting point is 01:03:57 helps. But they're wearing boots. They have boots and ankle support. I think those medieval boots sucked. If you're running out there in the dead of winter to go fight the Kurds, you got a pair of fucking Jordan 1s on, you're going to be feeling better about yourself? I think the most valuable, if you could say, back then the most valuable thing you could have would be a good dentist.
Starting point is 01:04:17 Yeah. I would say that would be. Yeah, man. You think about like, you know, when the fucking Tom Hanks movie cast away, when they take his fucking tooth out with the jam. That to me is value. Every time you, you know, in the fucking Tom Hanks movie, Castaway. When they take his fucking tooth out with the jam that day. That, to me, is value.
Starting point is 01:04:30 Every time you, everybody who, you get an infection in your mouth, you're dead, dude. Well, I think, I mean, anything back then, I guess most infections start in your mouth. But, like, you tear your ACL, you're dead. You're cooked, yeah. Yeah. I don't fucking put a bullet in your head. Like, you can't walk anymore. I don't brush my teeth at night.
Starting point is 01:04:40 What do you think of that? Why? My brother does that. Why? I was just, I mean, I don't have any teeth problems and i i don't know i'm not feel i like it's sort of like it's just a fresh feeling yeah but i i don't eat times a day if i had like i was available i'm sort of like you know i like i like i use wipes right uh instead of toilet paper ah keep that ass clean see i think of it as uh i think of it i think of it as like a toothpaste for the anus. It just feels fresher. Yeah, I mean, it is a little crazy
Starting point is 01:05:07 that we just dry wipe shit on your ass. It's fucked up. That's one of those things where if you could start history over again, nobody would say, okay, here are your two options right here. This thing and then this thing where it's literally just like this fucking bizarre thing that you put in there and it gets stuck and it's all over the toilet. You don't really know if you're done.
Starting point is 01:05:23 I'm still a shitty wiper. Imagine if you had shit, not literal shit, if you had food on your hands and you just wiped dry paper towel. You would never do that. You would wash your hands of water and shit. That's a strong argument. That's the best argument I've heard. You don't use it? No, I don't like the wet feeling.
Starting point is 01:05:39 I don't either, but I do. Are you a looker until it's done, though? Everyone's a looker. Would you get down with the bidet world? Because we're getting a lot of sponsors recently We got Omego or whatever
Starting point is 01:05:51 There's a couple floating around that's like you could just install it on your own toilet and boom clean that ass up I don't know That seems invasive
Starting point is 01:05:59 I know but I feel like then it's a whole I don't know That gets into like almost sexual That's a weird world That's how it's a whole, I don't know. That gets in like almost sexual. That's a weird world. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 01:06:06 Well, that's how I kind of think of. You look forward to cleaning your ass. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. That's how I think of the wet webs because it is, it's like a fucking, it's a wet wipe on your ass. And I'm like. What do you, what do you, I mean, what do you put in the toilet paper?
Starting point is 01:06:17 I put it. Well, it's dry. It doesn't feel dry. It's the same part of your body. Yeah, but no, but like the, the, the. Oh, the wetness. Yeah, yeah. The wetness is what, what changes it for me.
Starting point is 01:06:24 And I don't, I don't know. It's just... I'm surprised you don't like that, you sick fuck. We're getting into scat porn. I like to keep my... Well, that's not yet. My wetness is and my shit's separate. That's a different world.
Starting point is 01:06:34 Yes. Yeah. Let's do one more and we'll let you get out of here. Hey, KFC Fights. Just wanted to give you a call and ask a question. I'm currently in Nashville for the Patriots game. And in preparation for this trip, I went and got my vagina waxed because I'm a single female. And as my legs are up in the air, and she's waxing my butthole, I had the thought, is this really necessary?
Starting point is 01:07:03 Do guys care about this? Am I getting my taint ripped off for a reason? And it also got me thinking, do guys even care if it's waxed or not? Let me know, Diva. I mean, absolutely, girl. Absolutely. Does she care if what's waxed?
Starting point is 01:07:20 Harass. Yes. I mean, short answer, yes. Kirk, you don't have to weigh in on this one but we have we have long said like the most important part the thing that we want to look at when we're hooking up with you is your butthole well i'm like it's like the holy grail of like things that you don't get to see and then it's like now i get to see it because you've agreed to have sex with me i just applaud you know general hygiene i mean i think if you're going, you might as well go for it. Do it all.
Starting point is 01:07:46 It does seem like an awfully pleasant experience. But, I mean, I feel like the butthole is probably the safest one. How much hair did you possibly have there anyway? It's like you're plucking like three hairs, hopefully. It's not a whole thing coming undone. Yeah, so in my mind, it's either like if you got a lot, then you have to. And if you don't have a lot, it's not going to be that big of a deal. Why don't we have to do it?
Starting point is 01:08:06 When did that start? It's a great double standard. I'm a problem. Now as history is changing, we're more into, are we going to have to start doing these things? I bet you we will. Not anytime soon, but like four generations down the line. I bet you. I bet you we do.
Starting point is 01:08:19 So guys will be calling this version of the show 200 years from now and saying that they were getting their asshole waxed? I think so. I mean, just like anything else, we have to, like, it matters what we look like a little more and what you dress and how, you know, it used to just be, you don't have to worry about any of that shit. I think eventually we're going to have to wax our ass. No one but me and a doctor when I was in fifth grade
Starting point is 01:08:38 had seen my asshole and I'm going to keep it that way. I get dressed like a dainty little lady after. What do you mean? I don't even bend over to pick up my boxers. I'm sure your parents have seen you. I squat down like this. Yeah, your parents have seen you. Your parents have seen you.
Starting point is 01:08:48 I don't think I went on as a baby. But yeah. I bend over. I'll never have to wax it because I don't even know what's going on back there. And no one else does. Do you think there's a market to see that? There is. There's some girls out there like, damn it, didn't see it again.
Starting point is 01:09:02 Yeah. I thought tonight was going to be the night. There are crazier things that could be possible if someone wants to see my asshole. It's just the fucking worst place, especially for men. It's the fucking worst place. A disaster of a place. There's stuff fucking jammed in there from like 12 shits ago.
Starting point is 01:09:16 Again, because you're not using the wet wipes. It's just, you're like, where did this thing come from? I showered like six times. What is this? It's just that I don't know. I love that we had Kirk on for two voicemails, and they both ended up being talks about asshole. That's what I'm here for. Honestly, it is, and it's a great sign for your new gig.
Starting point is 01:09:35 Now you're looking for somebody to say, this is an asshole podcast. The days, wipes. You're in business. Of all the things, that's probably as accurate as it gets. Yeah, two assholes. You're done. Two assholes talking about assholes. What else do you need in business. Of all the things, that's probably as accurate as it gets. Yeah, two assholes. You're done. Two assholes talking about assholes. Done. You just rebranded our whole
Starting point is 01:09:50 show, Kirk. You are natural, baby. Alright, man, we appreciate you coming on. Thanks for the honesty and the candor, and everyone will hopefully be listening on Radio.com. I hope so, yeah. Early February. Alright, thank you to Kirk. Thank you to Kirk for talking about assholes yeah i mean we you know he he is a uh he's a he's a he's a real one he's a you know he's not gonna shy away from
Starting point is 01:10:12 anything but we did really throw him to the deep end having girls call up talking about their assholes i thought i thought there was a chance that he was gonna be like guys i'm starting like a new career right now basically i don't think need this. You said you don't have to answer. I got it. Yeah, we're good. So thank you to Kirk. We'll talk more about that in a second. But thank you to Kirk. That interview was brought to you by 23 and me. Minahan is an Irish guy, right?
Starting point is 01:10:39 Minahan looks it right. Looks a little bit. Hey, Kirk Minahan. It sounds Irish to me. Maybe. I don't know we'll find out kirk should find out he should pop on this uh 23 and me and find out exactly where his dna is from find out who he is and what his family story is now me i feel like i have a lot of the same traits as kirk i feel like i wouldn't need to do 23 me i would just take a look at my stubborn
Starting point is 01:11:01 irish suppressing my feelings and basically causing depression. The same thing that Kirk went through. Boom, there's my DNA test. I would call myself Irish, but you never know. That's the point. You never know exactly who you are until you have figured it out through science. There's 23 pairs of chromosomes that make up your DNA. So check out 23 and me. It is a great gift for the holidays because, listen, you can give someone a gift card, you can get them a scarf, or you can give them something that has some intrinsic value to it. Give them a piece of history. Right? Give them a piece
Starting point is 01:11:32 of history. And also, it's just an icebreaker. It's something to do. If you give it to the family, everyone's sitting around a Christmas tree spitting into tubes. It's a good time. You know, we are the official spit podcast. You want to get going with that, you can spice up your holiday party real quick. Give them a piece of history. Give them a piece of the future. Because once you know where you came from, you know the official spit podcast. You want to get going with that? You could spice up your holiday party real quick. Give them a piece of history.
Starting point is 01:11:46 Give them a piece of the future. Because once you know where you came from, you know where you're going. Ancestry History Service includes 90 plus personalized genetic reports that offers all the insight you need to know exactly who you are and what your ethnicity and history is. Now through December 25th, get 30% off any 23andMe kit. Order your DNA kit at 23andMe.com slash KFC. That's the number 23andMe.com slash KFC. Get that going today with that 30% off. We're going to keep the voicemails moving, but yeah. I'd like to make one thing very clear.
Starting point is 01:12:21 Okay. I did tell Kirk I was sorry for his parents as soon as we walked outside. It is true. We took a picture outside, and he snuck it in. Kirk, he recognized it. He appreciated it. I believe he laughed and said, you son of a bitch. Wild move that was.
Starting point is 01:12:35 I don't piggyback. I know. I don't piggyback. I think it's a fair point when you're talking about thanking someone for dinner, or it's a very fair point when you don't want to do a double God bless you. When someone's parents have tragically died less than two months apart, you maybe could break your goddamn piggyback rule. No, because then he'd always just be like, he didn't really mean it.
Starting point is 01:12:56 He didn't even think about it. It was just he just heard it and instinctively said the same thing. Well, yeah, listen, no matter what, I get the most credit for being the sympathetic one, the compassionate one first. Yeah, I wanted to make it very clear that, hey, I'm still thinking about your parents. Were you still thinking about his parents an hour later? Don't think you were. I was, on my mind.
Starting point is 01:13:13 True. You were thinking more about them. Yeah. They had more of my thoughts and prayers than you. Oh, you want to do a T's and P's battle right now? They had a fleeting T's and P's, whereas I had an hour of T's and P's. And everybody knows the first wave of T's and P's counts more than the hour of T's and P's and everybody knows the first wave of T's and P's counts more than the hour later that's true yes it is oh T's and P's first matter
Starting point is 01:13:30 way more you gave such little T's and P's no but I gave the first one but yeah but then and then you forgot about it no but the first ones you get the first T's and P's now the first T's and P's have at least a 24 hour effect it was really impressive what I did because we held an interview. While in the back of my mind, I kept going, God, that sucks about Kurt's parents. Don't forget to tell them you're sorry. No, you did. I did. Kurt then retweeted us and said, just finished taping KFC Radio.
Starting point is 01:13:55 Had a blast. Must listen, I'd say. Though Fights Barstool dumping on my dead parents was a little rough. What a sense of humor on that, Kat. I love it uh and i i want you know we did i did kind of soften things a little bit because we did have company over just so that girl understands looking at your assholes the most important thing we do in sex so wax that shit okay i want to look at it i want to touch it i want to kiss it i want to fuck it it's the most important part of sex it's it's
Starting point is 01:14:23 the forbidden fruit that we want to look at. You can let your vagina fucking grow freely. Whatever. When you turn over, that shit better be squeaky clean. Thank you. Should we keep these voicemails moving? Let's do it. Alright, voicemails. The remaining voicemails are brought to you by
Starting point is 01:14:39 MVMT Watches. What can you say about MVMT Watches that haven't been said yet? They are affordable. They are stylish. They have forever changed the watch industry. I got a friend who has a $50,000 Rolex. What?
Starting point is 01:14:54 He has a $50,000 Rolex. And I'm like, you know what I have? A fucking dope-ass movement watch and $49,910 in my fucking pocket, dude. So anybody who's out here still breaking the bank for watches is living in the past, man. That shit is old hat. That is for the birds. You get yourself a nice movement watch, and it's not only that. His is like a big gold, gaudy Rolex.
Starting point is 01:15:23 Get out of here, man. Give me the sleek black. It's kind of almost like the rubbery Rolex. Get out of here, man. Give me like the sleek black. It's kind of like the almost like the rubbery band. Yep, you're rocking it right now. They got the black on black chrome look. They got the, I have the one with the little blue. The hands are blue, like that sky blue kind of accent. Yeah, a little like electric blue pop.
Starting point is 01:15:41 Looks awesome. And it starts at just 95 bucks. They're all over the world now. And their sales are still cooking. electric blue pop. Looks awesome. And it starts at just 95 bucks. They're all over the world now. And their sales are still cooking. Are they still doing the Cyber Monday? I don't know. Right now, it says that the copy says Black Friday, Cyber Monday is 25% off. Even if that's not still going, it's usually a 15% discount. Bottom line is you're going to get these watches, affordable watches for even cheaper when you go to MVMT.com slash KFC. You get free shipping and free returns if you don't like it, but you're never going to return it because you are going to like it.
Starting point is 01:16:12 And you get yourself a nice watch today. They got sunglasses. They got all sorts of accessories to go along with that minimalistic look. MVMT.com slash KFC for the discount. Hey, KFC. So recently my guy friend told me about this thing called the food scale. And I think it's hilarious. It's like you rank a girl's hotness based on the type of food you get out of her asshole.
Starting point is 01:16:39 So the hotter she is, the grosser the food. For example, not so cute girl. You need like a big ton of hotness. This it's like not so cheap for all you need. Like a big ton of health out of her butt. Wait, this girl's talking too fast for me. What's she saying? Like clam chowder or something. So, I was wondering if you guys ever heard of this.
Starting point is 01:16:55 And what are some gross foods that you need to have some celebrity bad with? Viva. Oh, my God. That was a voicemail. That was something. We pulled the plug on the right time with Kirk. Oh, big time. There are some voicemails where it's like, okay, this is just two guys bullshitting and not a,
Starting point is 01:17:07 I mean, a stranger, so to speak. Yeah. A guest, but a stranger, rather. Yeah, we have company in our living room. We can't be talking
Starting point is 01:17:13 about clam chatter on your ass. It's time to put on pants. Now we can take off our pants and we can put our hand down our pants. Maybe play with our ass all over again. You know,
Starting point is 01:17:22 have our shirts on, shit with the door open, make our own beef jerky, the whole thing. Beef jerky? This is a stepbrother. This is what guys do. This is what guys do. Talk about eating food out of girls'
Starting point is 01:17:36 assholes. You know what? That is what guys do. When you hear it from a girl, when a girl is letting the a-hole word fly, asshole this, asshole that, a girl's asshole, what kind of food do you eat out of an're an asshole i want to marry you i don't know what food i would eat out of anyone's assholes i mean if we're talking about like come on let's not be like totally literal here let's talk about like uh you know let's just say as you're as you're down there doing your thing there's some there's some food in the mix. You know what I mean? I'm not talking about eating it, like two girls, one cup
Starting point is 01:18:06 out of it. I'm talking about on it. It's on it. Endless food. Doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't even have to be food, to be honest. Yeah, I mean, I'd do it without any food. That is the food.
Starting point is 01:18:22 That is no concern of mine. What's in your asshole? That's not my business. I'll just fucking eat around it. Just close my eyes and go in there. And she's saying this is almost like a scale of some sort, like how hot she is. Like, so if she's super hot, you would eat the grossest food possible out of her ass.
Starting point is 01:18:38 Is that what's going on here? Yeah. Okay. I mean. I love that you guys just said it absolutely has to be squeaky clean but also can have anything on or around yeah well that's the same thing if this table was squeaky clean I'd eat anything off it right
Starting point is 01:18:51 I wouldn't use a plate if I had just seen this and it was pristine I had just seen it cleaned up with a Mr. Clean sponge which is fantastic I don't need a plate just put the spaghetti right here yeah that's fine oh there you go spaghetti that'd be a fun one I don't need a plate. Just put the spaghetti right here. Yeah, that's fine.
Starting point is 01:19:05 Oh, there you go. Spaghetti. That'd be a fun one. Like a lady and the tramp? Yeah, but with your butt. With your meat in the middle. With your butthole on my lips. Yikes. Let's tone it down, he said. Like a dad.
Starting point is 01:19:26 By the way, also, I'd use it as like a dipping sauce For anything Doesn't matter What? I'd dip like a lollipop in there Sure no problem Oh yeah I've done that
Starting point is 01:19:34 I would Hypothetically I don't know if I'd eat anything I'm an asshole But I would use an asshole As a dipping sauce Absolutely Basically we're doing Secret Santa this year And I'd eat anything I'm an asshole But I would use an asshole As a dipping sauce Absolutely Basically
Starting point is 01:19:46 We're doing Secret Santa this year And I was the lucky one To get my boss As a Secret Santa gift And With this situation
Starting point is 01:19:56 There's a little Actual twist on it My boss Is an absolute psychopath So What the fuck Do I get A boss
Starting point is 01:20:04 As a psychopath Or a Secret Santa gift Is my question Yeah This is a tough one So what would you do I get A boss that's a psychopath Or as you were saying I guess It's my question Yeah this is a tough one So what would you do in this situation If you had to get Dave A Christian Skip What would you get him
Starting point is 01:20:13 Either I mean first of all I hope there's obviously like a Like a A max on the thing right Like if you're doing this in an office You gotta have a max Like a $25 max Yeah I mean if there's a max on the thing, right? Like if you're doing this in an office, you got to have a max. Like a $25 max.
Starting point is 01:20:28 Yeah, I mean, if there's a max, that helps things a lot. People even break the maxes all the time. You know what I mean? I feel like people would feel inclined to break the max for their boss. I wouldn't do that shit. I mean, I guess, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:20:38 These questions are tough for me because I've never lived in the real world. Yeah, I mean, I mean. I'm not breaking the $25 max. Here's the thing, bro. You just get him a nice bottle of liquor. Him or her, a nice bottle of wine, bottle of liquor, done.
Starting point is 01:20:50 I like Karabas. Unless they're like an alcoholic, then you can't do that. The framed picture of you and him. Yeah, that's a move. Right, like that's pretty funny. Yeah, I mean... Whether or not like Karabas
Starting point is 01:21:00 has like his whole shtick with it, but like... Most people though are not going to be like close enough with their boss to like do that. Most bosses are inaccessible and they don't, you know, they're mean and they're fire people. All the bosses are accessible with this office. Walk right into Erica's office and complain about something. I'm a fucking CEO. I don't care about your video.
Starting point is 01:21:17 I don't care about your Twitter or whatever. Fuck out of here. I feel like unless if you if you know your boss really well you like know the inside joke you know the angle then then you know then you wouldn't be calling then you wouldn't be asking this question because you would know hey he's a really big mets fan and i have like a framed picture of the fucking 86 whatever if you don't know and you're kind of confused liquor i did that yeah i guess i mean is that not the most common thing in the cube world? Right.
Starting point is 01:21:45 Everybody like a nice restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's actually a good one. If you know, most people probably know where your boss eats or if there's a restaurant near the office that people go to or something like that, you know that he likes to go to steakhouses or something. Go get a hundred dollar gift certificate to wherever, you know, it's not really about
Starting point is 01:22:01 the money. It's not like he's he's your boss. You probably make more money. He's not like, Oh, I need this. It's more just like, Oh yeah, I like that place. Thanks.
Starting point is 01:22:08 But I, I think you also can never go wrong with like a nice bottle of whiskey or a bottle of wine, but I don't think you have to stress over it too much. Just keep it simple. People like food. They like booze. That's it.
Starting point is 01:22:19 There you go. That's all I like. Yep. Uh, last voicemail of the day brought to you by outer known. I'm rocking my outerown right now. I got the waffle hoodie on. It's like a nice. It's like I was actually going to ask
Starting point is 01:22:30 you earlier today. Oh, yeah. I don't know. Maybe. I mean, I'm down with the quilted. You know me and the quilt. This now is a different level. This is waffle. I almost want to pour syrup all over myself. Watch this. Watch this sweatshirt. Soak it all up. It's motor oil. That's right. Everybody's been watching those life hacks going around on Twitter. It's very devastating
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Starting point is 01:23:02 right now. The hoodie, it's lightweight, but it's kind of warm because it's got the quilted waffle. What's this called? Not insulation. What's it called? Thermal. Thermal. Thermal. So it's nice and warm. I was never going to get that. Thank God you did. Great quality clothes that
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Starting point is 01:23:43 put these clothes on and just picture yourself as a world champion surfer I honestly think that might be like I thought that was number one I think it's so much cooler now like yeah right I mean I honestly think if you ask me to like switch places with someone in this world like I'm not gonna go pick the fate like
Starting point is 01:23:59 like I'm not gonna be LeBron right he's too famous he's too too polarizing. Too in the public eye. Kelly Slater. He's famous. He's rich. He's got all the women. All the success. He's hot. But he can live a relatively normal life. He's probably just on the
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Starting point is 01:24:43 You get 25% off your full order price. That's Outer Known.com today. Enter the code KSC at checkout. You get 25% off your full order price. That's Outernown, O-U-T-E-R-K-N-O-W-N.com. Use the code KSC at checkout. Get 25% off that order. Hey, guys. I know there's been a lot of Venmo talk recently with Girl Snoopin' and Venmo, but it kind of made me think of a question about like is requesting people for money on venmo cheap so like nowadays like obviously nobody's
Starting point is 01:25:12 gonna put like 12 cards in the bill like somebody just pays for shit um and then there's only like those few people that just never fucking pay you is requesting money from them on Venmo cheap good question and is it a bad move to be a Venmo requester I mean John you got fucked so hard on this very situation just have the bill yeah I mean John went out the other night a couple weeks ago and he texted me I was like I said how was the night he's like oh it's good but it cost me $750 that was the full night the the the night at the bar because I forget where I went after it. Oh, I had to buy tickets to the show. It was like that. But the things that I would have vented about people for
Starting point is 01:25:50 were $500. $500 because John was too and I'm with him on this. It's too awkward, socially awkward to be like, hey, bro, you owe me money. And the worst part is, so you described it like you're having drinks with someone and their friend comes and they have one and then they leave.
Starting point is 01:26:05 It's like, you're not going to charge that guy for just one. But then like another friend comes and then someone orders appetizers, but everyone was eating them. Yeah. Yeah. And the girl comes by, let me buy you around. And then it's like, next thing you know, you're $500 deep without anybody to pay more than like an $11 drink.
Starting point is 01:26:21 Yeah. You know? So it's like, I had two, I had two or three drinks. I picked up some appetizers, I had two or three drinks. I picked up some appetizers, 500 bucks. Brutal. Brutal.
Starting point is 01:26:30 But I'm going to eat that. I mean, first of all, it was like two weeks ago. So the Venmo window is closed. You can't, you know, listen, this girl's question is a valid one.
Starting point is 01:26:37 There is no validity to asking, to sending a Venmo request more than 24 hours after, I would say. And, and, uh, it's, yeah,
Starting point is 01:26:45 it's, I don't know. I don't think I've ever requested Venmo. The only time I will do it is sometimes Keith will be like, hey, because Keith knows I won't. So he'll be like, hey, Venmo, request me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's the answer right there. Everybody needs a friend who does the requesting for you.
Starting point is 01:27:05 Like, this has happened several times where, yeah, I, I always have one buddy who like, we have an email chain for like, Hey, let's get all the guys ready to go together to go to dinner. And then he'll email the chain and be like, yo,
Starting point is 01:27:14 did everybody square up with Kev? And it's like that way I'm not being the cheap one. And he's just being a good friend and he can kind of crack the whip a little bit more than I would because I don't, cause money going to my pocket. I think that's the way to do it. Everybody has a designated Venmo and or money guy.
Starting point is 01:27:30 Yes, that's a very good idea. That way, you know, it's pay it forward. Sometimes, eventually, you have to do it for your buddy, but eventually he'll do it for you. And also, don't you ever, don't you goddamn dare send me a reminder for a notification I already have. I will see it when i open the app
Starting point is 01:27:45 and i will give you your 12 right relax right but see this this is the very reason why people don't want to request because like that's we know that's how it makes people feel but until you know what you need to happen venmo like etiquette is is a very it's a new thing dance yeah and until you've had a night where you just got whacked for 500 bucks, it's not on your brain. You're not thinking about it. So once everyone has one of those nights, you're much more Venmo aware of what's going on.
Starting point is 01:28:14 But until that happens to you, you're like, oh, yeah, I mean, I guess I owe him for a drink. I'll get him next time. It's like, well, you only see that guy once every six months, so why don't you get him right fucking now? And you think to yourself, wow, what's the difference of $12? Well, there was 10 people at $12, and all of a sudden that adds up.
Starting point is 01:28:29 So it's funny too, because Venmo is simplifying the process so fucking much. It used to be you had to split up on credit cards, or then you would have to go get cash. Now it's like, hey, we've made it on this fucking phone to do it for you, and you're still like, I gotta open it up. and what's your Venmo
Starting point is 01:28:46 name it's with the 7 at the end okay alright it's also one of those things it's like everything when it gets simpler it gets more like catty and that's kind of how it is like everyone just stews like oh that motherfucker that's how much they request me for
Starting point is 01:29:02 let me tell you you think it's catty with guys? Buddy, you better watch out. Girls get catty with the Venmo? Oh, my God. Really? Oh, my God. Girls, there's, I feel like in this world, I'm going to speak for the ladies here.
Starting point is 01:29:15 You can tell me if I'm wrong. I feel like in this world, there are girls who, like, are the girls who pay the bill, and then there are the girls who do not. And I feel like the girls who do not are like, they're not going to Venmo you either. And I feel like the girls who do kind of band together and they're like, fuck that girl. We're not even going to go out with her anymore.
Starting point is 01:29:34 Oh, I see what you mean. I'm not even going to go get drinks with her because she doesn't pay for shit ever. And there's probably a girl who's like, I only had like two glasses. It's like, well, you've always had two glasses for 10 straight years, bitch. I think the girls are ready to...
Starting point is 01:29:46 I bet you there have been friendships that have just straight up ended because of the girls' inability to Venmo. I can see that. You know who the worst one is, though? The one that didn't even have alcohol. Yeah. By the way, I did have a dinner recently with no alcohol. Food.
Starting point is 01:29:59 Really cheap. I mean, you could have a feast for ten, for like 80 bucks. Yeah. Food is crazy cheap. It's 10 for like 80 bucks yeah food is crazy so it's so easy i mean food is free i like i i realized i was like oh like when i get i'm having five entrees at every dinner because that's like a mixed drink is like 20 something bucks it's crazy i'm like oh yeah okay you could have that's why dinner is always outrageously expensive you could have like something like pork chops and and like big meal fucking type food that's like the same as like an old fashioned.
Starting point is 01:30:30 It's crazy. I mean, there are plenty of things on the menu at the Smith where the food is far cheaper. A full meal, far cheaper than my drink. Then just a couple drinks. And I said, I'm going to have, no, but then one single drink.
Starting point is 01:30:42 Then one single drink. Doubles the bill. You can get like a bar steak i think the same price as martinis i drink 30 bucks yeah like two it's a mean you sit down for a drink 30 bucks same price as a fucking state over that i know the the the old-fashioned is i think 21 that's crazy that's ridiculous that fucking place man shout out to the Smith. No shout out to the Smith. You overpriced bastards. No shout out to the Smith.
Starting point is 01:31:08 No. They've like never given us a free drink either. Never. I spent $60 there a day. Never got it for two years straight. And we just still keep going. It's unbelievable. Yeah, man.
Starting point is 01:31:21 Listen, bottom line, fucking pay for your shit. You don't just get like free food free drinks and if and and you know let's make a universal rule if you sit down at a table for dinner you don't get to be like i took two bites of mac and cheese one bite one mozzarella stick and only had like a sip of wine so this is what i owe you we're splitting that shit up fuck you because one day like i just said like one day you're gonna to be the one who ate more. And the next day you're going to be the one who ate less. And it all comes out in the wash. Don't be cheap. And don't be bald.
Starting point is 01:31:50 Get yourself some four hands. That's a pro right there. Nailed it. That's a professional. Nailed it. I got my four hands shipment in the mail the other day. And it is like, it's like Billy Madison. Like Billy Madison.
Starting point is 01:32:02 Like, ooh, nudie magazine day. It's like, ooh, I got my hair day. I open it up. It's got the shampoo. It's like billy madison like billy madison like oh nudie magazine day it's like oh i got my hair day i open it up it's got the shampoo it's like electric blue i put the shampoo in in the shower i just let it sit there and i let it soak up into my scalp then i get out of the shower and i eat the gummies it says to eat two gummies per day i'm imagining one you know one in the morning one at night i have four minimum in the. I just eat them like they're candy. Yeah, well, they're delicious. So I'm just loaded up. It's like Flintstones candy. Yes, yes.
Starting point is 01:32:30 I just piss highlighter yellow. Yeah. All I do is eat vitamins because they're delicious now. I got the biotin just soaking up into my hair and then I take the pill which is the generic for the hair loss treatment. So I got the medicine, I got the food, and I got the shampoo all going in my hair. So I got the medicine, I got the food,
Starting point is 01:32:45 and I got the shampoo all going in my hair. It comes with the bald spot drops too. I don't need those, but you get the drops, the pills, the gummies, and the shampoo. And I just feel like I got hair coming all out of everywhere. I feel like it's maybe, it definitely works, but then I also feel like I have a placebo going on where it's like, I'm covering from all angles.
Starting point is 01:33:03 I'm attacking this hair loss from every single angle. That's how you got to do it. Get involved. Join the club for hims.com slash KFC. That's F O R H I M S.com slash KFC. All those things I mentioned, you get them for just five bucks. All you got to do is pay like the,
Starting point is 01:33:19 like the service charge. But other than that, everything's free. The shampoo, the drops, the pills, the gummies, you get all that for free. Just pay
Starting point is 01:33:25 $5 and you will keep that hair. I've been doing it for years. My hair is growing back. That doesn't happen for everybody, but I could. Who knows how it's going to work for you? It'll definitely keep the hair that you have on your head and who knows what else you get. Go to 4hims.com F-O-R-H-I-M-S dot com
Starting point is 01:33:41 slash KFC. Fight, Teddy. Last words for him. Rollerblade. Rollerblade.

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