KFC Radio - KNICKS IN 5 ft. Nimesh Patel

Episode Date: May 13, 2025

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Hey, KFC radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC radio on Apple podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Your girl Jackie is at jury duty, which is a funny thought. She gets your duty more than I know. I don't think either the government doesn't know where I live or I've never gotten jury duty I can't figure this out either. I have just taken I mean I throw out a lot of mail. I have some sort of super childish immature procrastination whatever you want to like fear like Like if I see the mail I'm like This is something I have to address

But not right now. I mean, I throw out everything. So when it's like, we sent you a notice of this, I'm like, no, you didn't. If I didn't open it, you didn't send it to me. So I throw out a lot of shit. So I don't know if that's the case, if they just have not requested me.

Or part of me has at least heard or maybe I concocted this in my own mind that if you haven't registered to vote they don't get you and I never registered so whatever it is I have never and to my best of my knowledge I've even been asked to do I think I got one in Massachusetts years ago did you go no no it went to like my parents house and they noticed you and I was like just ignore it. I also wonder like, would we get on a journey? Would it be like your job is like precludes you or some shit like that? I don't think, because I always hear... You're definitively dismissed. I know Dave's been on it and he

wasn't dismissed because of... Porcelain. He was Dave Portnall. He was dismissed because like, I think, if I remember correctly, this is like we were still in Milan. And I think he went and it was something along the lines of, they were like, if you miss three days of work, will your business remain? And he was like, no. No.

What? Well, it's interesting because they just. It was something along those lines. I forget. They pushed back Diddy's trial because 16 of the prospective jurors said that they saw the video. And that taints them, which A, everybody saw the video. So that's going to be hard to find. The Cassie one?

Yeah. And B, I think they should see the video. Yeah. That seems like a pretty important piece of information that like, it's almost like if you haven't seen the video, you got to go. I mean, I guess that whole case is weird, man. I've heard some rumblings, but they're from like podcasters

and influencers who I think are a little bit pro-ditty, who are like from the hip hop world and I think want him to get off So I don't know whether it's reliable or not, but there's like rumbling. We want him to get off like That's different than you believe. He's innocent who wants him to get a well. Well, so I get their point was I Think their point was like it's one of those like what the charges actually are and like all that shit Yeah, really not a slam like if it was like if it was an abuse like you hit her case There's a video like I think you're done right but all that other shit like like I think hit ditty's defense is like

When they're talking about human trafficking he's like I do a lot of freaky weird sex stuff But like these people like and so I fly people in and I fly them out but like I'm not trafficking you know so like that's what I mean don't get me wrong I'm not depending on these I think he all I think everything is true and I think he's a liar but like it's not as slam dunk as it's the same thing I think it is because it's all about the other you know the intricacies of it all is the same thing as the craft thing like Like when when craft got caught and the headline was Robert Kraft

involved in sex trafficking ring, it's like, no, he got a hand job from someone who might be illegal or, you know, I'm wearing a pair of Adidas. I'm not fucking a part of child slave labor. I don't even know if Adidas is, but

I thought you were going to go the Nazi route with the Adidas. We go Nike with the uh. You know, most of the things we wear are made by people in poor conditions. I'm not part of that ring. I'm just purchasing what they fucking made. Right.

Speaking of that, I texted Pabs, and I texted you as well. I mean. I don't know what we're talking about. The beat of Kanye's new song is fire. Oh. And I don't know. I guess this song, I don't even like to even talk about it, but Kanye's latest song, Howl Hitler,

I don't even know if his, I can't imagine it's actually on Spotify and DSPs and all that, right? They're not going to allow that. There's no way. But it's on, I guess, YouTube, or he tweeted it or whatever. And I didn't even listen's actually on Spotify and DSPs and all that, right? They're not going to allow that. There's no way. But it's on, I guess, YouTube where he tweeted or whatever. And I didn't even listen to it at first because I was like, I am not even... Like, I've had this ongoing thing with Kanye. Like, do I take the bait? Do I not?

And then I told myself I'm going to take it for entertainment value. But then I still have a line where, like, I am not going to promote or listen to or enjoy a song called Highlighter. Beats fire. I haven't heard it. I'm sure he's a great fucking producer. Yeah, but but I feel like Kanye even said, like in his mind, I think he was like, I'm going to put out a Kanye beat

because I don't even think a lot of his new shit has been that good. This this beat, I think is like his best beat since like all of the lights. This is his best troll yet, because is this the same song as about him saying about sucking his cousin down? I don't think so because that's a different one that I heard and like a very famous Producer is producing it live with him and I'm like I'm gonna stop and watch this and like it's tough like you know What I honestly looked at Fantasia was fucking good, right? Yeah, was that? Show Walt Disney. Oh, yeah.

This is the classic. Fantasia was good. The Mercedes is a well-built machine. Hugo bought suits. But this is his best troll yet, because of course, he's like, now I'm going to give them exactly what they want. Well, that is what is like, it's all such scumbaggery. But like, you know, what there is an element of interesting of like, I wish it wasn't so obviously hateful or whatever.

If it was something else that was like, I'm going to make a topic that makes people uncomfortable, but I'm going to put like my musical genius behind it and fuck with people. But it's like so far that, you know, I'm not going to play this. Yeah. But I'm just like, the music of it is is like I was like, oh man, he did it there. The words are like trash and like the lyrics are bad. Not on top of being offensive. They're also like not very good, but the beat is fucking sick. But it's like I'm not doing it. I'm not. You know what somebody should do?

Is like a Jewish person should make like a pro-Jewish song over that. Yeah Yeah, I would do it if I buy you can't you gotta be Jewish Yeah, I would I would like I'm gonna go do like some AI I'll have like a rapper voice and I'll like, you know write about all the awesome things about Jewish people over that beat It'd be fucking to the top. What is your list of awesome? All right, let're going to list about how awesome Judy is. Oh, bro. You'll see me this week on The Chicken Show.

Yeah, dude. Oh, man. Yo, The Chicken Show is next, bro. It is next up. I have not done a show that fun, maybe ever, and since the RU Garbage, my first RU Garbage appearance. What is the? Sorry.

How? Why would you talk? Get it out first. I thought I was going to lose it. What is the premise of the show? No premise. No premise. It's three older Jewish gentlemen and just about the.

Kevin over the Holle Hitler beat, just like the Jewish chicken show's awesome. It's three Jewish guys who are probably 80 years old and probably the most attractive female I've ever seen in real life. And they're doing like an Eric Andre late night talk show thing. I was on episode number seven.

The one I saw was Anthony Weiner was episode one. And I was like, this is like a fever dream. Dude, I actually saw Weiner recently. I'm sure it was on this. I just never like investigated it further. I was like, oh, Weiner's back out there. Yeah, yeah. I did a one minute man on it because I was like, this is,

that must've been where I saw Wieners like, you know Return to the media And then I know grill guy did an episode. That's how I got plugged in grill guy was friends with the producer So the producer who in he helped create Bob does sports Robbie burgers thing and then another show as well Which are you know, obviously they fucking thriving, right? And like his latest one is like I don't know how he fucking linked up with three so the host looks exactly like Albert Einstein. And he he he is the star of the Instagram account, Old Jewish Men. And it started out just kind of like

old Jewish men, like, here's an awesome old Jewish guy. Here's Katz Deli, all this old, like all this awesome Jewish shit. That's what I would just I would just make my rap song about the old. And then it's like his two buddies and they just like I walk in and they served me. It's the chicken show. You get served a rotisserie chicken. Yeah. And then they just like pepper you with like inappropriate questions and fuck with you. And I obviously was like, you know, fucking with them right back.

They took my blood pressure at one point. Just like true madness that like, I don't think there's enough of that, like where it's just like, let's actually have fun. Yeah. But I will say this at the same time, the fuck, fuck the Jews. Mo Khan story came up and like they were honest questions. So as I got like half of it was me being like talking about like legitimate anti-Semitism. And then they'd be like, blow a whistle and bring me a chicken.

It's his fucking madness. But those guys were really awesome. I believe so. I think it's for this week. I'm going to watch that. Oh, bro. It's reminiscent to me of RE Garbage when it was like, I think Kate did it and then Rowan did it and then it kind of made its way through Barstool.

I hope, I want everybody to go on this because it was like, the world needs more of this. Truly not taking it serious, just fucking around, doing whatever. And this girl, her name's Emily Jane, Emily Janes. I mean, I walked in, I was like, what is going on? I stopped the show and I was like, blink twice if you need to get out of here.

What is happening? I'm sure she has some billionaire boyfriend who's probably like, what'd you do today? What? Emily Jane's, J-A-N-E-S. Australian accent, just bombshell, looks like Adriana Lima, but also was like fucking around me and these three old men, you know what I mean?

So she was a highlight of it, and then these guys just, I told them, I was like, listen, I know you probably think this is the first time I've done this, but cousin Mike and cousin Murray have paved the way. Those guys walk so you can run. So I've done content with all Jewish men before. So that show comes out this week.

And I was like, this is the internet. As we stray more and more away from that, let's get back. And I need some people out there just fucking with you. And they had a list of questions that just like, none of it made sense. Just ridiculous. And then you know what was funny was after the show, because I was giving it back to them pretty well.

And so it didn't get like testy, but it was definitely like, at one point he had his feet up on the desk and I put my feet up and kicked his off. Just like fucking around. And then afterwards they definitely were like, hey you were a great sport, that was good. But it wasn't like, okay now we can be normal. Like it was still kind of madness afterwards and I I was like, is this is actually real?

I don't know. It's like, you guys are keeping K-Fave up pretty fucking well. So yeah, that'll be out this week. The producer of it was at the midnight bean launch party, which was last week, which ended up, by the way, I closed the party out with me and a couple other guys were the only ones left for the next game, which down the stretch was fucking unbelievable. Yeah, I woke up next morning, I was like, Oh, something blew it.

Yeah, I mean, it was like we had the upstairs of American whiskey. Everybody partied up there. And then everybody left at like it was from six to eight, it was like a happy hour party. And then so the game was ending around nine. So I was like the only person left there just going bonkers, man. That was but then that that that game three changed the tone a little bit. I think I was saying that as a Knicks fan to think that they were going to do it again. You're out of your mind. I definitely I so I got tickets from Game Time to go to Game Three

because it was three thirty matinee playoff game in New York up to, but in a weird way, I almost was like, I wish they weren't up to because you're not winning three in a row. I didn't think they, you know, I was hoping they weren't going to get their dicks blown off the way that they did, but I was like, you know, you're not winning three in a row on this team. And then the way that they did lose makes you be like, you might lose three in a row right now. Well, that's what I was saying in the gambling cave.

I was like, I was kind of busting everyone's balls at first because the Celtics went up 10 quick or whatever it was. And I was like, do you guys just not even pay attention until you're down 20? Yeah. And they felt like I want, you know, the jokes started. Everyone around me in my section was like, as soon as we were down by 20 in the third It was like alright was earlier than that in this case But it was like we got around where we want them like the 20-point lead here We go and then it went to like 30 and then it went like 35. I was like I think this one's alright well, there was because there is a part of that that is like Patriots fans where it was like we just don't even pay attention to the AFC championship

It's like we're not gonna pay attention till we're down 20. That's when we lock in. Yeah, but Tom Brady is. And Jalen Brunson really is a superstar, a superstar who could at any moment bring you back down from 20 against anybody, anytime, anywhere. But the rest of that team is not exactly like, you can't rest on your laurel. You know what I mean?

The part that seems to be is going to be repetitive is the part of going down 20. Whether or not you can make the part of coming back from down 20 regular, who knows. But the thing is, I mean, when they shot like 65% from three. They went 20 for 40. So OK. I mean, for a while, it was like 65%

for a big chunk of that game. And I was like, I don't care what happened before or after, what the matchups are, one seed, eight seed, 10 seed. If you shoot 50% from three, you're going to fucking win that game. But it is funny, there was a few buckets early on that literally, I've never seen an NBA team have, it was like, roll around and out two or three threes early on.

And that kind of just changes the whole complexion. There was three more threes that rolled in. Nine points right there. It's a whole different battle. But yeah, that was, I left the game. We left early because my kids were kind of running out of gas, and they wanted to come to the office. They think that the office is Disney World.

They're like, can we go to your office? They kept going, do you still have whiteboards at the office? I was like, I can get you whiteboards. I'm trying to figure out how to create a basketball court in my backyard. I'm like, do I just have to get you whiteboards? Wait till we tell you about what school was like. You guys are going to go fucking nuts.

And I mean, I guess when you think about some of the dumb shit that's floating around, like Keegan grabbed a football and a baseball bat. And I'm pretty sure there's that giant rubber arm, which I think is a fisting. It's over. He was playing. That is a Riley Reid fisting. Yeah. And he was like, this is awesome. He put it on. I was like, yeah, he's right.

You got to get on his shoulders. The thing is fucking awesome. I have pictures of him doing it. I was like, I guess it's better to touch the inside than the outside. It's like, Pat, get your toys. Pat also has a pump action bug shooting dick gun that I quickly hid under the desk,

because I'm sure any gun he was going to be like, what's this? Showed him Ken Jack's katana. So I was like, you know what? Maybe this place is pretty cool. Yeah, I was going to say, this place does rock. There are moments where you feel like you've done a good job raising your kids, and there are moments where you feel like you've done a bad job.

I pulled out a sword, and I told him, like, you have to be careful with this. And he immediately just went to grab the blade. And I was like, maybe you're a fucking idiot. Maybe we need to go back to school and figure some things out here. It's like like just don't grab the blade of a sword Sharple do yeah, they'll chop your fucking fingers right off, man. I Almost got us in trouble

I didn't even think of this but you know when we walked in I brought the kids over to say hello and I immediately got A text being like draft Kings no kids. Yeah, I'm allowed. I was like, oh shit my bed But I thought that would have been funny to, I was hoping we could all sit together for a little bit and have the kids on the electric chair, but no legal, not allowed. So we leave, we come to the office. I stupidly did not time it.

Like if you're going to leave the game early, at least make sure you get out of there so you don't hit the traffic. I parked in the garage right next to the garden. We come to the office. I realized I look by the time I look down it's the end of the fourth. I'm like fuck we are leaving right now with the entire stadium and It took me one hour to just get out of the garage and as we were just sitting in stopped traffic To go down the ramps I can see through the back window of the car in front of me To the front where you put your phone, if you have a holder,

and it's fucking Portnoy. Someone was scrolling through videos of Dave, and I could see Dave being like, ah-ha-ha! I was like, this is just, I was furious. The dad inside of me was so mad. The ultimate thing for dads is beating the traffic and parking the right way and making sure you get out on time. And I totally botched it and the kids are getting cranky and I don't want to sit in the car.

I was like, we're not going to get home for like two hours because I fucked this up. And then I just see Portnoy laughing about the Knicks. But yeah, so that was it was cool. I'll go like, you know, they kids are such a cheat. Like they for the t-shirt toss, they like point at my kids and just throw them to him right away. All this shit was a good time for kids. It was a dude who almost hit a seventy five thousand dollar half court shot. It was a standard half court.

And then there's like garbage cans probably 10 feet away, 15 feet away, 20 feet away, 25 feet away. And you had to hit three to qualify for a $75,000 shot. I think it was a thousand bucks a bucket. And he went first bucket, second bucket, third bucket, fourth bucket, like no problem. Missed like the very last one, but then they said, here's your half court shot.

And it back rimmed it. And I mean, the place would have gone like, fuck the game. Yeah, the place would have gone absolutely crazy. The only thing they cheered for more than that was Mitchell Robinson's free the rest. Yeah, Mitch. That's crazy. Did you see their tweet? NBA's tweet is more than bigger than basketball. They were like, is this is he dying? Is he sick? They said some of these are being ESPN said the garden, like the garden is supporting,

because we were cheering, every time we went to the line, we were like, come on, standing ovation, you can do it, you can do it. And they said, some things are bigger than sports, the Puerto Rico Bosco. It's literally sports. The definition was like, he's just playing the game. It's not bigger than sports, it is sports.

It's sports, sometimes sports are just good, but it's just sports. Just sports. And he did make two at one point or maybe one place went bonkers. Yeah. No, I think he hit two. Yeah. I mean, it was like the biggest pop of the night was that. And I'll give you know, I want to give credit to I think I'm going to give him credit. I can't decide. It's one or the other. It's either fully performative and it's fake, or he is the real deal.

Timothée Chalamet was sitting courtside. And I mean, he was like in his seat, the whole game, standing up, yelling at refs, standing up cheering for Mitchell Robinson. And between that and the college game day thing where he was like talking ball, and people were like, does he really know, or did he like get fed lines?

I'm like, it's either like his best acting performance of all, or he's just a diehard sports fan. It's specifically Nick's fan. I think this, of course, is the real deal. There's pictures of him in like 06, 07. He was like right around my age. He won like a Landry Field's trivia contest. Oh, yeah.

He's younger than that. He's like a kid. Yeah. He's no, yeah. He's like seven at the time, or eight at the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK. Yeah, younger than that. He's like a kid. Yeah. I, uh, he's, he's no, yeah, he's like, uh, he's like seven at the time or eight at the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're saying he's like your age now. No, no, no, no. Yeah. No, he's like a child. Like Landry Fields. And then also during the Met Gala, he was in the bathroom watching on his iPad. Oh, hell yeah. I love that. But that almost makes me think that the college football stuff is fake. Cause if you're like a New York fan and a Knicks, you don't know shit about college football. Yeah, I agree. But like, like also in the clips I watched, he knows like two names. Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean though. It's not some insane like where like he's breaking down fucking. So wait, this was the other thing about Mitchell Robinson. They said this is really the difference between the NBA level of talent and non NBA talent.

This is Mitchell Robinson over the summer because, you know, Mitchell Robinson, if you're not familiar, is like a junkyard dog, lunch pail rebounder, defender. And in this these highlights of the summer league or not even summer league, just him like shooting around in the summer, he's fucking Kyrie, you know? And I get what they're trying to say. But that has nothing to do with free throws. No, no. the first time in a year, summer, he's **** Kyrie, you know? And I get what they're trying to say. But that has nothing to do with free

throws. No. No. Like like like defender. During these exact workouts when he went to the free throw line, he missed. Yeah. That has nothing to do with the NBA or the fans like and I just I I will never from everyone from Shaq to **** Deandre Jordan to remember Chris Dudley.

Are you young enough? I went there for when you had a 25 assist game first next game ever. Yeah. No, no, no. Chris Dudley. Chris. Oh, no, no. Chris. Do you want to Chris Dudley was this big white guy who played

for the Knicks who shot legitimately 40% from the line. And he used to have this routine he would without like with an imaginary ball would dribble, dribble, dribble, and then put his L up and shoot and then break the fuck out of every shot. I will just never get it. I don't get it. Like some people like well the ball like for Shaq it's like shooting a tennis ball and I'm like all right fine shoot the tennis ball 2000 times. Then figure out how to shoot tennis balls in a net. It will never compute. And Shaq used to miss a lot, but they were.

Mitch Robinson is like, they're the worst shots. That one shot that last Saturday was literally the worst I've ever seen in my life. When he took his first shot, it was like, I literally got. It's like he's shooting a dart. Yeah. I was like, what the fuck was that? That's the other thing is like Shaq, all of them

shoot poorly. Like if you're doing the right thing, but it's like stop shooting it on a line drive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you know how to do that. You're one of the most physically talented people ever. Like figure out your fucking mechanics. I just, I'm sure I sound like the oldest white guy in the world, but it's like, I just do not get it.

Look at that. 41%. Ben Wallace is on the one. Shaq, 52%. I mean, Shaq would have, he missed 5,000 free throws. That's another 5,000 points you could tack on this fucking career. It is. It is. It is. I just, I don't know. I obviously understand. I'm opining about a sport. I don't understand. But I obviously understand. I'm opining about a sport. I don't understand but like just go go practice. How about that though Antoine Walker

that's kind of surprising. All these other guys make sense. They're big men like I twanned yeah. I did one shot. You know probably 40% from three but 60% in the line. Yeah. I will just never understand it but it it it for like, you know what the thing is too? Like Mitchell Robinson like holds his head and like, yeah, like he is.

I thought he was, he kind of, it's not a hissy fit, but at one point when he was like, oh, for 12, he did like kind of collapse into his head. And I thought he was laughing because I was like, what else, what other reaction could you possibly have other than like how? What this ball go with the who? Not even close I'm constantly apologizing I'm sorry I know how to do this. Yeah, I don't know what's happening. I mean it is it is it's got to be

More this is the worst shot. This is literally the worst shot in NBA history I don't think I've ever seen a free throw worse than what we're about to watch right here. It's that bad. It's I mean like just figure Mortifying is I mean every time he touched the ball Yacked him, you know, and time he touched the ball, they just yacked him. And then he made a video afterwards, this video here. He goes, I only care about three things, man. And he points to his truck.

He goes, that right there. And it's just a pickup truck, by the way. It's not like a Ferrari where it's like, this is my life's dream. He goes, that, my daughter, and like, look at that truck. OK, I mean, it's a little bit tricked out. But he was like, don't get it twisted. Like, none of this affects me.

Like, I don't know if that's the answer. See, dude, I think that's a terrible, terrible answer. Yeah. And I actually think Tatum had such a great answer the other day, which is like the complete opposite end of this, where Tatum was asked about his struggles. And I'm going to pull it up, because it was. Well, just to throw him a little bit of bail,

he was kind of talking about the trolls. He was like, the trolls don't affect me. Okay, I get that. So I don't think he was trying to say like, I don't give a fuck that I missed all those shots. I think he definitely is embarrassed by that. But speaking about like the internet, you know, getting on him for it, he was like, I'm not affected by it. I think he said like, I care about my team,

my truck and my daughter. Dude, I see, I care about my team, my truck, and my daughter. Dude, I see. I was always, and I still am, I'm a Tatum guy. I'm sorry, a Jalen Brown guy. If you ask me what my favorite player on Celtics is, I like Jalen Brown. It's very hard to be a Tatum guy. It's hard to be a Tatum guy until I read this quote and I was like, all right, he's a good dude. Like, you just don't understand what comes with being that guy. I live a great life. I ain't gonna lie. I make a lot of money. I take care of my family. I've been able to experience a lot of things, but you also have to accept what comes with that, guy. I live a great life. I ain't gonna lie I make a lot of money. I take care of my family I've been able to experience a lot of things but you also have to accept what comes with that, right? I get a lot of praise. I got a lot of credit

I get a lot of accolades, but I'm not perfect and there's times where I needed to play better I needed to do more and with that and that comes with being that guy So just understanding that and people just so just understanding that and people just don't criticize me There's a lot of people that came before me that they criticized and and there's going to be people that come after me that they criticize. For me, it's just a sense of joy that I play with. Coming into a game with an angry face and mad at the world, that's just not who I am. It's not when I play my best.

So I always say that you gotta be the same person if things are going great, and when they're not going great, you can't switch up, that's the character of a good man. I agree with that too. I mean, people, you know, I think- I read that, I was like, all right, I'm a Tatum guy. Yeah. I think people, sports fans and probably athletes,

I think you would prefer the Kobe, the killer instinct, the MJ, like cold blooded. But if you're not that, you're not that. Yeah, right. You know, and I guess I shouldn't say prefer because I think there are plenty of people who like, I don't know, like Francisco Andor plays the game with like a smile on his face all the time and he's fine. You know, like as long as you perform, none of this matters. But if you're picking which personality you want,

I think it's like cooler or scarier, more intimidating for the opponents to be like, I'm a tough, scary guy. I disagree with that wholeheartedly. Yeah. I think I see someone like that and I just laugh and you fucking lose it. Well, you got to back up.

But yeah, but like anyone who's like, I will die for this. I mean, I'll kill you for this. So good luck. But I think there's something to that. I mean, Kobe is always the example or MJ where it's like, and I took that personally and I fucking buried you and ruined your life afterwards. I think like a Max Scherzer is one who like stomps around

the dugout all the time. It's like that I don't like. But the mentality of like or Kobe like jobs not done. Oh, yeah, you know, I think most fans I think would prefer that because they take it so goddamn seriously But if you if you're not that guy, you know worst thing in the world is trying to fake that. Yeah just I mean the obvious is just be who you are but like even if You're if you're not that guy and you're trying to play that guy You see through that like fucking instantly like a veil like you're like, this is clearly clearly performance

Okay, and Tatum probably has that to an extent where he's been such a Kobe guy that people Make a connection like oh, well, he texted him that day I also I don't really care about these things, but there's like a thousand examples of him now. Like just stop copying people's celebrations. Do it again with that, this one, I don't even know what that is. Some soccer player did that one. Yeah.

Like just don't do it. I didn't even know that. I think it's Mbappe. I don't know one of these guys. It's like another, you know, one like this after the game and it's like a soccer player's thing. He's the ultimate clip farmer, if you know that.

Yeah, yeah. Just like, pump your fist. Not everything needs to be a performance. Like, I'm doing this for the camera. There is something weird about him, though. He is great. But even watching this series, even the game they won, he's not like.

I don't know. Even though those last possessions like lost his dribble. And some of it I was like, I kind of get where people who say he's not great or stupid. But if you're let's say he's already a top seven player or something within that realm, there's a little bit that leaves to be desired. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I don't know what I'm talking about. like, you know, in this realm, there's a little bit that like leaves to be desired. You know what I mean? Yeah. But like I

I I I I don't know what I'm talking about but like I remember that being a thing with Lebron. Like Lebron doesn't take over the game the way he should. I was just going to say it's like it's like Lebron facilitated the game. So

I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I mean, basketball is so it's like, yeah, you know, the defense came over here for you and they collapsed on you. So kicked it out. shit that may not Show up in the in the box score, but I was saying the other day that I was reading we good No I was just gonna say you know in those two like you blew 20 points leads and like like it just feels like those those are Spots where you stop the bleeding I take over the game, and he just like didn't yeah, but the I remember the Fuck I was gonna say now

Whatever it's too much sports anyway one last thing about game three when I saw that you were in the cave and I found out you were at the game we know we know where this game just based off of history just based off of reality logic fucking chances I mean I mean, I mean, 15 years. 15 fucking years straight. Like, I'd be interested to really get inside the minds of other people. Like, I don't think I'm ever going to win. I really don't. People were kind of like, you know, I don't want to look past anybody because the Knicks are not that good of a team.

But you think if you can get through the Celtics, you probably could beat the winner of the Pacers and Cavs. So people are like, we might like, you know, and I'm like, no, we're not going to. I'm still going to watch and I'll get excited. But I do not in my heart, even like the Mets are playing well, we're not going to win the World Series. I do not think it's going to happen. It's the same way that it's like, I want our podcast to be like better than Joe, number one.

It's not going to happen. I don't wake up every morning being like, if we work at it, it's going to happen. It's not gonna, it's not gonna. And then yeah, like, it's very funny to be like the fact that I've hitched my wagon to you and it's just like, we have been on paths like this. And as time goes on, we just get further and further apart.

The Rico Rico texted me and I was like, I was like, why? Why? Like, to be in the stream? Yeah. And I was just like, and then and then like schedules worked out. My dad was actually gonna come down and and we were going to go to the game. And then he didn't end up coming. So I texted Rico and I was like, wait, what?

He we had the funniest exchange because he hit me with such a Rico comment where it was so funny. He's unbelievable. Where it was. He goes, Nick's stream tomorrow and Saturday if interested. And I said, oh if I'm around Saturday, which I think I will be, I'll definitely stream. And then he hit me with a, hey no problem. And I was like, no no no! You're not doing me a favor! Like, oh I'll fucking do the stream, just to be clear.

You're not doing me a favor! Yeah, no problem. I was like. What the fuck does that mean, dude? Did you see his appearance on Unnamed with his local neighborhood watch person? No, I heard about it. Like one of the crazier lines off the rip. So for those who don't know, Rico has been posting on his local Staten Island Facebook

group like neighborhood watch being like hey people are breaking into my car like lock your doors and then everyone's response was like why don't you lock your doors you fucking idiot and then Rico went Rico and so this woman Carol Dave of course like finds her and has her on the show so she's on a name show and Rico starts off with that you were talking to me like a child and you were condescending. And he goes, and when people do that to me, like, I would rather have AIDS than that.

And Kirk was like, what? What? What did you say about AIDS? Like, I don't think there's a correlation between AIDS and this. But yeah, Rico, like. He's such a nut. He's such a nut. And that face the whole time just like, like you can really gotta be looking at yourself sometimes when, when you get called on to, you know, one of the biggest podcasts at Barstool

and it's a local fucking neighborhood watch woman and you're just like, what is my life? Like how do I end up with these? Yeah, this is what I did this weekend. I spent my time arguing with Carol. What's so funny for us and horrible for Rico, I'm sure, is like this is irreplaceable. You cannot get this at Wawa. You can't get this anywhere. Like we have this character who finds himself in situations like arguing on Facebook with

local fucking people and will bring her on the show and he'll, you know, of course she's like, yeah, your mother was my daughter's volleyball coach. She's like, oh, I didn't know that we were in the same circles. All this shit that is like so genuine and real and it's because of Rico. However, it's all unintentional and you can't really capitalize on it. It's like the only way you get these moments is through your downfall, where you're getting the short end of the stick and Dave is whipping you.

So you're altogether the most like indispensable, irreplaceable, one of a kind internet creator. And yet you can't really benefit from it at all. It's like a fucking Twilight Zone. It's like a episode of black mirror. By the way, it makes you miserable. Yeah, right. That's what I mean. Like, like if he could somehow be like, yeah, but hey, like the contract is good or whatever, but it's like, he, he wants all this to stop and he just can't make it stop.

Well, at least they give you financial security, right? You have multi-year contracts. Like, no, you're not negotiating every single six months he is he is one of a kind man absolutely one of a kind yeah i don't know why but doing his his like italian voice reminded me of eddie at the at the uh at marty and ria's wedding eddie sits down to me next to me at the end of the night. And, and we're talking a little bit, have a nice conversation. And then the convert kind of just dies. And then Eddie just gets this smirk.

You know how he does that smirk where he's got like, and he just pops this smirk on and he just looks at me. He goes, you excited for final destination? I've been thinking about that. That's a valid question for you though. It's not that crazy. I've been thinking about that for three weeks now. I don't know how long it's been. It wasn't like an awkward silence.

It was just like, hey, we're having a conversation. The conversation kind of slowed down. What did you say? I forget, I forget what I said, because I think I've only seen one or two of them. I am excited this. I'm actually surprised by that. I feel like you would have seen all of them. You know what?

Honestly, I'm laughing at Eddie, but Eddie kind of helped me understand the movie. Where he was, because I was like, I'm not really good. What didn't you understand? Like again, I've never really seen him, so I don't really know what the point of them is. And I was just like, I don't know. You know, like I'm not really a huge so I don't really know what the like point of them is and I was just like I don't know

You know, like I'm not really a huge like horror gore guy No, he was like not anymore like apocalyptic movies and I was like, well, hang on. I fucking love It's more like a fake thing it's like Well, it's like things are crashing. Oh, yeah, like that. Have you seen the marketing? They're doing it's pretty cool That's I mean this fly violence in bloodline. I actually have been like I kind of want to Like that. Have you seen the marketing they're doing? It's pretty cool. That's I mean, this flight violence and bloodline. I actually have been like, I kind of want to see that. The truck is awesome. The there's a giant one of the famous kills, because if you're not familiar,

it's all about these people have been like touched by death and like death will find a way to kill you. And I think the the badge of honor that this movie series has is that they've come up with like a thousand ways to kill people in movies and one of them is a lumber truck, a tree falls off and smashes through the window and kill it. Yeah, no, I know that one. And so they have a big-ass lumber truck driving around with the final destination like sign on it. Oh, it's in the real world. Yes, yes, yes, and it looks like it uh, you know, it looks like it's kind of overflowing with lumber, kind of like it doesn't look like that's like apocalypse. That's not like I see what you mean. Yeah. Yeah. It's not like, oh, this person died. This person died. That's the worst possible. And it's always like a, you know, live wire finds this one puddle of water that like shoots through your house and electrocutes you. Well, dude, the, uh, that's so cool.

The, um, brilliant man. What you would call it? Fucking, uh, I lost it again. I, we should, we should start, let's start a marketing company. I think we would be great at these things. Uh, it's no, no, uh, like these, advertising for movies in this way. I think if you were to give us a budget and be like, promote this show, I think we could come up with awesome ideas.

I think so. These things, and nowadays, I used to see clever billboards and it's kind of like whatever. I don't know, the billboard's there, it's in your face. But now when everything goes viral, you know what I mean? Like this we're going to put, we're going to drive this truck around and every single person drives by is going to take a picture of it and post it. I agree with that. I also think marketing is like the most thankless job you could possibly have because everyone who hires you assumes that you're going to make them go mega

true. It's all or nothing. And it's like none of the credit and all the blame. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I think these things are I always get a kick out of them. And I feel like I could like if you are if your marketing campaign for the local laundromat isn't as successful as that final destination thing, they're like, why did I even get you? Yeah, I know. But like the smile was a good one. Having all the people at the games like it was annoying, but it worked.

Everyone was always talking about it. I think I think you could, you know. If if money is not an issue, I think you can really we could crush it being just like movie TV junkies at this point. See what's good recently. Feel like we were on like a hot streak and now I'm a little bit of a low. I saw a friendship. Unbelievable. What's that one? Tim Robinson, Tim Robinson, Paul Rudd's new movie.

That was really, really good. Really good. And I haven't seen a comedy in a packed theater in God knows how long. Yeah, yeah. I haven't even heard about this. Yeah. I'm so much more the TV guy. I realize how much how little I know about movies. But like you guys, you always mention movies I don't even heard about this. Yeah, I mean. I'm so much more the TV guy. I realize how little I know about movies. But like you guys, you always mention movies I don't even know about. I think it was on six screens in the country.

Oh, okay. So like it's not one that you would. Is it funny? Oh Tim Ra, I was thinking of Tim Meadows for some reason. Oh yeah, this is A24, right? Yeah. Yeah. And this is like funny or it's like a drama. That's funny. It's, it's I think you should leave in movie form. So it's very funny.

And there's also just some wackiness like, has he done movies? No, this is the first one. It's so fucking funny. Are you seeing it? I'm I'm I just haven't had a chance. Well, you know, it's gone tomorrow. Oh fuck. What's going to happen? I'm just haven't had a chance. Well, you know, it's gone tomorrow What's gonna happen I think I don't know beyond it's it's like it was like a six day release between this and sinners I've spent about $75 on movies. I haven't seen I take it simply like the next tonight and then Yeah in sports mode

TV has been like a little bit of a dry. Dude, you know what I did yesterday though? And this is one of the more embarrassing things I'll probably ever do? Let's decide. Finish the statement and then we'll decide. That's saying a lot, bro. Maybe not embarrassing.

One of the more pathetic. How about that? Dude so I yesterday I was just like I don't know I had nothing to do I was bored I was like hungry and I was like I Gotta go to the market and I've seen a few recipes lately just like viral like Tik-toki things that just pop up on my Instagram. And I was like, I guess I'll make, and for some reason, when I see something online described as viral, I hate it instantly. Like I, it turns me off. Cause again,

like that's how most of the marketing is on Instagram where it's like this viral, this viral, whatever. And like that, that marketing does not work on me. I hate, I hate, I hate that about me that I instantly hate it, but I do. It's whatever. But I'm trying to work on it. So I was like, OK, let's try and make these two viral recipes, John. They're both like very little things. Like, what are we talking like a five minute chicken dish or some shit?

No, no. One was a fucking tortilla cinnamon roll. Like they're I'm listening. And it was like a tortilla cinnamon roll. And then they're both like five minute recipes. They're both very quick. And then another was like this bowl that I actually saw Ria make before their wedding, where it was like sweet potato and beef and avocado and cottage cheese or whatever. And I was like, sure. That just happened to come up yesterday morning whatever. And I was like, sure. That just happened to come up yesterday morning too. And I was like, sure, I'll just try that too. But then when I was at the market, like a fucking murderer collecting all his supplies,

I was like, I can't buy it all in one place. The lady's going to laugh at me. You're so crazy. I was like, I can't be another one of those like guy, like person who the lady at the checkout just clearly knows like, Oh, here's, um, here's a viral trender. So I was like, so I bought a half the stuff at West side market. And then I went to Gristini's. Now, to be fair, I was also, I was like, I'm not going outside again today.

Might as well get some more like exercise and walk a little bit and enjoy the day. But I was like, you're pathetic. It's like, I got to buy the Sudafed here and the fucking bleach over here. I can't buy the axe, the shovel, and the duct tape all at the same place. Oh, man. It was. It's funny. Again, it was a nice day. How are they? How are the viral things?

The bowl was really good the The tortillas were not as they're not not not good But they weren't what I expected and they but they ended up being really good because what I did was this is kind of crazy so It's not I expected it to look like in that picture. I expected it to be like the size of a cinnamon roll. It's not it's like this. It's a fucking nickel because it's a rolled up tortilla. So what I ended up doing was I took them out of the oven.

I put them in a bowl. I put a scoop of ice cream or two in there now cooking. And then because they were so warm, it melted the ice cream. And now it ended up being kind of like adult cinnamon toast crunch. Because inside of those had you put you love that ice cream makes it adult. I was just going to say adult.

You know, for big boys. But before you roll up the tortilla, you put a bunch of butter on it. And then you sprinkle cinnamon sugar. And then you roll it up tortilla and you you put a bunch of butter on it and then you sprinkle cinnamon sugar and then you roll it up and cut it into pieces and Then the way that cooked the tortillas themselves ended up being like almost butter gushers And there yeah butter yeah, the more I'm talking about it the more is a pretty fucking good But they just didn't.

They weren't what I expected the package to be, whereas the bowl was very aesthetically pleasing and looked delicious and tasted delicious. This was just delicious. I saw people recently making a tray of cinnamon buns and then scooping it with an ice cream scooper. I don't know why, but it looked cool. They just, whoosh, had the little thing.

It's like, yeah, I'll do scoops of cinnamon buns. I don't know why you don't just eat it as a bun, but okay. There is that, that middle, the middle of a cinnamon bun is like, to me, it's like the essence of life. It's like where the Big Bang came from. Like when you unwrap, you know what I mean? Like I'm talking like a mall Cinnabon, know yeah like the outsides whatever but you get to that middle where it's they got the black like goo and it's soft in the middle I

had one this morning this morning you know it's like you know I used to read it full ass Cinnabons like no pro I remember being a kid because they would have the mini and the big and I would get the big and even as a child I was like this is too many calories because they had the calories there it was it was like 2,000 calories for one bun and I was like this is a bit much at like the age of like a leaven I would I would hammer those dude nowadays that would put me I mean I would still hammer it Don't get me wrong, but I would at least be like oh man like sluggish over that shit Do you know middle? Oh, I would have sex with that. I would fuck the middle of a honey bun. I also did a little experimenting.

I don't know. I was doing some cooking this weekend and I did on Saturday night. I did a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Got it. Pretty basic stuff, right? No. I took a little bit of a break. I took a little bit of a break. I took a little butter and jelly sandwich.

Got it. Pretty basic stuff, right? No. I took a cup. Cut the middle? Cut the middle. Got it. Uncrustable.

Into the oven. Toasted. With the already sealed as an uncrustable. Toasted. Into a bowl. Ice cream. Adult fucking peanut butter and jelly That sounds great. I think the only thing that would be better is if you deep-fried it get some batter

Yeah deep-fried uncrustable. Yeah thinking about getting a deep fryer deep-fried shit Like like a built-in deep fryer in the kitchen. I don't know. Yeah something Yeah, just like next to this next to this the toaster is-in deep fryer in the kitchen? I don't know, yeah, something. Yeah, just like next to the toaster's also a deep fryer. That'd be pretty fucking dope. That would be very good. I would guess your hand ends up in it. Totally.

Eventually. On some final destination. Yeah, that's inevitable. You're really tempting fate with the fucking deep fryer. It's just like having a bomb in your kitchen. Yeah, that sounds good though. yeah, it was it was it was it was a good weekend I didn't do anything Yeah, I Want to see friendship Friday?

Hung out Saturday hung out Sunday here today. Although I did see so can you do me a favor? Can you just Google Air Force one? The movie no the plane plane. I keep seeing news. I'm sure it can't be true I think it's a fair. Can you just Google Air Force One? The movie? No, the plane. The plane. I keep seeing news that can't be true. I was just going to ask, what do you think pops up on Google first because Air Force One's got a lot of things.

Cross my mind. Go to, no, go to like news. Yeah, that keeps it. This can't be true. No, I was supposed to accept. So Qatar is going to give him a new new plane to be like he's getting a new Air Force one. But the it's the in in the thing, it's not for America. It's for him is like when he's done being president, his point. Oh, he's not for America. It's for him? It's like when he's done being president, it's his plane. And he's not allowed to accept gifts. Like it's been a thing for years now. It's against the law

for him to accept gifts. That one though says Trump administration plans to accept it. But this one, I think they're just like, that's a donation. We're taking the 400 million. That was just like, hang on, a Middle Eastern slave state is gifting us a 400 million dollar plane that is not going to the country. Yeah, that sounds a little uh. I was like that sounds like the craziest thing I've ever heard. It's meant for presidential duties. That's what they said, but I believe it's illegal. So I don't know. But even click the article because I think they want like I think like I remember reading like they want to be clear it's not for America America for Donald Trump and he can keep it when he leaves.

Donald Trump is going to do so much damage because he's not president man. I can't believe he wanted to be president again because in my mind I would imagine retiring whatever you want to call it like your administration ending has got to be the dopest shit in the world because all those restrictions come off. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's probably a million things you could cash in on as a president that you're not allowed to. And then when you're not president, it's like... But I don't think any president...

I know we talk about it with Trump, but I don't think any president is worried about their net worth. Because like, it's gonna be fine. I'm not worried about their net worth, but everybody wants more, man. But like, I don't know. What I'm'm done with is my speaking fees a million dollars a year I don't I mean a million dollars a speed That's what I mean even that stuff is like when I'm sure you know you can't really do that or cash in and then it's Like now I can I'm just gonna go to every fucking little college every little yeah, but that's what I mean Like I don't know why you would be concerned with it while your president because you're like when I'm done

It's so this says the plane would be donated to Trump's presidential library at the end of his term. It's like that's just my airport now. But I think again I want to it's all stuff I've read so I don't know for sure. But it was like he can use it. And this is just like that's that's insane. And then all of a sudden Qatar is going to get you know beneficial whatever legislation come from there's the place where million yeah oh my god there's like differences in stuff like a fucking plane is the most like obvious you can't you can't ever see

yeah yeah plane okay all yeah, get the plane. Game time, the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. I was at the Knicks game courtesy of the game time this past weekend. It was one of the most expensive tickets, I think, in Knicks playoff history or was that it? Yeah, right. So it was a pretty penny. But game time provides you with the best prices. I opened up the Game Time app and it was like the devil and the angel on my shoulder of like,

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cremo deodorant. The other crazy thing I saw this weekend, do you know meth? Like the drug meth can just be prescribed. It's called desoxin. D E S O X Y N. And like even like the producers previous is like yeah, you know, it's math It's not like one of those things with Adderall amine or it's math it watch It is that DS o x y n Huh, I D s o x y n Huh I Love that the meta yeah, it's just it's just methamphetamine. Yeah, I think methamphetamine is that also an adderall

Well, yeah, this has to treat ADHD. It's a treat but like adderall I think we always called it like legal crack or legal coke or whatever. This is just like it's just legal crack or legal coke or whatever. This is just like, it's just meth. But all that, I mean, like painkillers aren't legal heroin, really. Yeah, I guess that's true. I always thought that meth was like chemicals, but I guess that's what drugs are.

Yeah. But I always thought it was like Sudafed mixed with like bleach mixed with like ammonia. It's like bam, like none of these things should be in your body. Poodle piss. Yeah. Good old meth. Yikes.

Meth is a crazy one. I understand a lot of the appeal of drugs. Don't get meth. Meth. Nothing about meth sounds enjoyable to me. I know. I've never. Like cocaine.

I don't even really get the appeal of cocaine. I don't. I get the appeal. I don't like it. Like the idea of partying all night and being awake and painkillersers obviously numb you. And hallucinogenics make you open your mind. Meth just seems like, I don't want my body to go crazy. No fucking thank you, man. That's got to be like you reach a level where you're like,

I just can't feel my real feelings and think my real thoughts, so I will put anything in my body. That's when life is not worth living, my friends. Just go and drink yourself some midnight bean, man. The midnight bean launch party, I think. I was very nervous about the launch party. On the one hand, I wasn't, because I really do know how good the drink is.

But I was like, this will be a real test to have a bunch of people drink it. And I feel the poor bartender. We had a two hour window. How many martinis do you think she made? I'm going to say. And there was how many people there? It was probably like, you know.

126. That right? Way more. No, it's 126. No way. To the number. Holy shit. To the number. Obviously I did not know that. I was about to say, I must have told you.

When he said a hundred and twenty, I was like, wow. And then he said six. I was like, a hundred and twenty six. That's crazy. How much bonkers, dude. Damn, dude. I got a dozen match today too. I just used up my guess and luck. There goes all your luck. I felt so bad for her, though. So I mean, I was thinking about that commercial day. I probably made 10 of those, right? And by the 10th one, I was like, I

don't want to shake these anymore. The next morning, I woke up and I was like, I'm sore. What did I do yesterday? I was like, oh, I just did a commercial for martinis. I mean, she was double barrel every time I turned around. She was shaking new ones I was like can we we like mass shake this somehow for you, or I wanted to go get her like a frother one of those And you don't have to shake it

Yeah, 126. Dude, I actually I can't that's I'm so good at drinking math. It's Did you think to yourself like all right 60 people times two or yes I was like I can do you you you last me how many beers do I need for a party, I fucking got you. I fucking got you! One twenty-six. I mean, I, I was like, I cannot, I looked at him like, you guys, like, I told you this already. That is bonkers.

Bargatzi has a joke about how his wife asking him how much pizza his 40 year old friends are going to eat is really embarrassing, which she's like, we'll just call her and gear it out. And I would not need to make those calls. I fucking know how many pizzas he's going to eat. I've done this 10,000 times. That's your 10,000 hours. You're a man on fire.

You're crazy. A man can be an artist in anything. Food, whatever. John's art is predicting how much alcohol you need. And he just painted his masterpiece. 126 martinis. That was nuts. The office when Kevin can't do math,

but when they switch it to pies, he can. Same thing when I watch Dan and Dave operate with gambling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ask them a regular math question. They have no idea. You ask them to compute like a three-leg parlay. And they're like, man, I got it. Yeah, so but I was watching people drink them

while I was not there, watching them from a distance. And I watched everybody do the same thing. They were filming, and they were getting ready. And they would take a sip, and they would go like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they would say something like, ooh, it's actually good. Or like, Breanna made a video, which was like, I don't have to lie.

That is the, when your friend shows you something or shares with you, like in this line of work, like, or I'm sure it's any line of work, but like, particularly in this, where it's going out to the public, you're like, please be good. Just please like, let me have an honest, positive reaction. Yes. Be a drink, be it clothing, show, like, like just please. Like that's literally, if I gave, if I had a magic genie, I would be like,

can you promise me that everything my friend showed me is good? I just want to not have that fucking moment of like, how am I going to handle this? And midnight bean is for sure. Like, you have one step back. Oh, thank god. Yeah. I didn't know what to like, I kept

saying to people, give me an honest review. But I was also like, but there's nothing we can do about it. I can't be like, never mind. Take these bottles off the shelf. We're fixing the recipe. You can give me an honest review if you want. Give your Twitter account a fucking positive review. But they all did the same thing.

Everybody was like, this is very legit. And people who I know drink them. The influencer packs that we sent out are awesome. To the point that I got a lot of DMs of people looking for them and I might sell them. I don't know. I mean, it would be expensive because it's a shaker, a glass, a bottle, and a thing of three beans in like a nice box.

That's probably like $100. That's a great gift for a 25-year-old to make. So I'm thinking maybe if we put that in the works now, by the time the holidays come around, if you're a drinker, if you're an espresso martini fan, if you're a KFC radio fan, you know, bam, there you go. There's your secret Santa, there's your gift for your brother-in-law, whatever the fuck it is.

It probably would be a little bit expensive, but not too expensive, that's prohibitive. So I was like, a lot of people were like, where can I get these? And they're just, I made like 50 of them to send around to influencers for promotion, but I was like, Hmm. But I think I'm starting to feel it like move, like it's, it's finally getting to places, but more importantly, like every, it's one of those things, everybody who has it likes it. Yeah. Right. To me, that's

like, so the rest is just a matter of time. It's going to get, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it said it, it might be Cappie's. Could have been. Yeah. There's like I again, I don't go to the Cape Watch, but there's like a spot

is like two or three of them. There's a couple like it's like one of those warehouse type stuff. Right. And this guy was like, there's a few of these on the market. Yours is definitively the best. Yeah. I was like, I really that is

when you have that moment where you're like, I know it's good that I have the confidence and then you're just like, okay, it'll happen. Yes, it's just a matter of time. I've got to do it. I've still got to do some things right. But the hardest part of the product, the good, is same thing with content, where it's like,

if you know somebody is funny, comics, I'm sure, feel it too. It's like, you're going to get there. I don't know when your break's going to be. And you do have to keep going up there every night. But you'll get there. And so I feel like we're at that with this Even like you like the hard thing is like the tree. It's almost like being in a boxing match when you're like I fucking know I'm better. Yeah, I just have to show up every round like I'm

I'm better. So I'm fucking good at this like there's it's so hard getting to that point in anything I'm sure right but like particularly in content in this world like like I I'll be there I'll fucking get up yeah I'm gonna take some hits but I'm here I mean that's my entire career is I just keep on coming back like longevity is is really the name of the game just just let outlast the other people the people who were sort of the top are gonna sort of the top and there's a bunch of people who are gonna fall off and and I'm just going to stay in the middle and I'll be there forever. Dude, I remember this story my dad told me when I was a kid. I obviously

have no idea of its truth. It sounds like a parable now that I'm about to say it, but like he was talking about this middle school that we went to in my hometown where there was like this hail, Morton middle school and like this hill that all the kids would walk up afterwards. And my dad would tell me about this kid who got in a fight in wood shop with like the big tough guy at school. And he waited for him halfway up the hill and beat the shit out of him. The big kid beat the shit out of the little kid and was like, that's it. He's taking a new way home from school now.

And the kid showed up every day and just got the shit kicked out of them shopping that every single Fucking day and was just gay and eventually honestly the the story like he didn't win a fight the story The big guy just got tired. It was like I'm done kicking the shit out of this kid eventually I don't know why my dad would tell me sorry guess. I guess it was like, you're not going to win a lot of fights, but just keep fucking in. If you keep showing up, he'll eventually stop kicking the shit out of you. But I really do think that's like, I mean,

especially in our line of work, it's pretty easy to pack it up when the internet starts making fun of you. I don't blame anybody who does. It's just like, I'm not going to subject myself to this anymore. Like, the world is. I'm going to go hide, thank you. But there are people who really, they don't do their podcasts, or they stop posting, or whatever.

And yeah, I don't blame you. But also, if you can make it through that. Like, once you've been humiliated several times, you're like, all right, it wasn't that bad. It sucks. But if it happens again, like because of a failure or something embarrassing or whatever, it's just like, but the next one's going to hit. I don't know. My logic though, because you're right, like getting humiliated and stuff like that. I was like, I don't have to be part of this conversation Yeah, like it's gonna get said whether I'm here or not. I'll just check out guys. I'll head to the other room

I'm just gonna go outside I think But it's like the fact that you're still willing to do it all it's like yeah You don't have to be engaged in it, but like, I'm not, you know, I'm not going to let you win that. I'm still going to do my job or whatever. So yeah, that longevity is what matters. But I, I think I heard kind of through the grapevine that they're selling more than they already thought they were at this stage that they would be at this stage in the game. What? Oh, the midnight beans. So like, I think it's. That's fucking great. Yeah, yeah. And it's just a matter, like everybody who has stocked it sells it out right away. Yeah.

And I'm like, I think they're gonna realize, like if I buy two bottles, I sell two bottles. If I buy two cases, I'm gonna sell two cases. Like, I think it's just gonna go. And I really think that the, I just don't think there's any, there's a couple other competitors out there. I don't think any that are as good as mine.

A lot of them are like Liqueur that you mix, but you have to have vodka. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a coffee flavored vodka, but it doesn't have the espresso part or whatever. I think I'm one of the only ones that has it all. And there's just no brand allegiance yet, I don't think. Yeah.

So if you told me this one's better than this one, people are gonna buy that one. And I think if there was anybody that was going to have any allegiance, I think it would be our fan base. So I'm kind of like, I just think it's going to happen. Yeah. I just, I don't know.

Like, it's hard for me because, like, the way we started the podcast, I'm just like, I don't think good things are going to happen. I mean, you know, Barstool has definitively been a good thing that's happened in my life. I certainly can't discount that. That's a big one. But pretty much everything else doesn't work out.

So oftentimes, I'm just like, I'm here to just another day at the fucking dick sucking factory. I got to get through this. So it's pretty rare to be like, I think we got it. I think I got it, though. So I mean, we'll see. I don't know what that means, you know, business-wise or whatever, but just having a W

would be a nice one, so. Go get your midnight bean. And people keep being like, oh, I tried and I couldn't find it, I'm like, you have to ask them to stock it. If you say, do you have it, and they say no, and you just walk out, that doesn't do anything. Say, if you stock it, I will buy it.

And they will stock it, because they just wanna sell shit. So just add it onto your- That's how business works. Just do it. So, thanks to everybody who came out to the Midnight Bean party. It was a bunch of Barstool people, bunch of fans came through. If you took pictures or anything, post it, tag it.

Appreciate all that. So, have you seen, there's this viral video of- Wait, before you say that, I'm gonna say something. Have you seen The Four Seasons? I know I texted you about it already. So. I've seen it three times already. The whole show?

It's eight episodes. And it's 25 minutes, right? It's 20 minutes. I was going to say this earlier when we were talking TV and shit. It's just the amount of shit that is fucking divorce and relationship related on television. Everything I tune into, I'm like, and I'm not like busted up about it to the point that I'm like, I can't watch these things.

I'm not like, I was gonna say I'm not triggered by it, but I think I'm triggered by it. Yeah, and it's fucking, but like, yeah, no, we all have stuff we're triggered by. Yeah, and there's just so fucking much of it. I'm like, it's one of those things, you know, when somebody points out a red car, then you see red cars.

It's like, I just. We only need representation for everything. For real. It's like, I'll speak for divorced dads. We're good with representation. We're good. That whole, like, I turned it off. I was in the middle.

I was watching that woman, you know, redo their vows, and like, he's coming home ready to break up, and she. Okay, see, now I'm gonna pitch you on a little harder then because what i love about the show is that No, one's a villain. Yeah, he was yeah, it's all understandable. He was like i'm just not happy. He was unhappy Yeah, he gets in a new relationship. He's like, I know it looks ridiculous. I'm fucking happy though I don't know what to tell you and like no one in this show None of the characters are like piece of shit people there regular people good people who?

Sometimes fuck up or sometimes try a white lie or this kind of shit But like normal human shit normal humans and I for some reason I found that so refreshing Yeah, it's just like it's eight or six I forgot how many it is like six eight like just fucking good people who also lights hard and stuff's getting in the way and shit like that. But like they're they're all trying their fucking monster names. So Tina Fey, Steve Carell, Colman Domingo, Will Forte. Is Colman Domingo the black guy? Yeah. Yeah. The fucking best dressed dude in the world. Great voice. That guy should do like voiceovers and books on tape and all that shit.

I like that in a lot of his stuff. He Colman Domingo himself is an excellent dresser, very stylish. And his character is not one way or the other. It's just their characters, they're not him. And this is the first one where I'm like, ah, he's like, I'll dress myself, thank you. He looks fucking awesome every scene.

That scene where, so this woman is renewing her vows and her husband is like Telling his friends like after this weekend We're getting a divorce and she gives that speech to Tina Fey about the old BMW Yeah, and he's like yeah He loves cars and he tested out all these other ones But he always comes back to that old BMW and she's you know it's very obvious that she knows kind of what's going on and I was like

I'm gonna put on fucking Bob's burgers very obvious that she knows kind of what's going on. And I was like, I'm going to put on fucking Bob's burgers. Which that makes you cry these days. Bob's burgers is almost, everything's fucking emotional. The, like the character of Steve Carell could have been done as like this midlife crisis guy, asshole. But he's like, I've just done happy. He's like, I think he has a lot of- That actually does need some representation.

Because honestly, I mean, when I was there, I was like... If I... You know, when people say like, why do you cheat? Just like break up with them? That's... Yeah, of course. But that's a pretty fucking easy thing to just say. If I was just like, I'm leaving. And I was, you know, pretty still newly married with a baby.

You're still a fucking asshole yeah that's like the right thing to do but that PR is not great either that reaction is not great either you know what I mean it's like so but I think that needs to be a little more 25 years that's well enough yeah I was gonna say that's also I shouldn't even really compare because that's a big difference I think if you've I don't know I go back and forth on that like it's like I look at my parents sometimes, I'm like, you know, maybe they would just be happier

to go to their separate corners, but also when you're 24, they're 40 years pot committed, it's probably just like, ah, we're not gonna shake the pot now, but I don't know. I don't even think it's that. I think it's more like, I don't even, I don't, I think what I would have a hard time with myself is like, if I married someone for 20 years, I don't know another life.

Yeah. Yeah. It's not I'm not necessarily a grass is greener guy all the time. This grass is pretty fucking nice. Yeah. Pretty fucking comfy. Or with a fucking scythe on my own grass. I don't know how that grass works. You know what I mean? I got to mow this lawn? This lawn is so thriving that I got to fucking take care of it? Yeah, I mean, that's, that's, that I, I can't figure that out. That I don't know. Like when you, sometimes I see it's like you're getting a divorce at like 70. It's like what? But I don't know.

It's also like if you have 20 more years to live or some shit, that's not, you know, it's not like you're on death's door. Well, they say? The worst investment is a bad investment you can stay invested in. I really, I really think there is no bigger decision than getting married. Like, if you get married or really have kids

with the wrong person, you pay for it forever. It's going to be a problem forever. I can't stress enough how much it's like, I'm sure there are people like you proposed, you bought the ring, the families are excited, and you're like, I can't go back on it now. Go back on it. Go back on it.

It will get so much more difficult. I mean, it's just, you can't ever undo it. You know what I mean? Once you've had kids with someone or whatever, it's just like, you, this will be an issue till you're dead. But it's definitely a well done show. Like it's, it's, it's, it's nice to have a half hour show too. It's a quick, you know, easy. Who's the last one? Carrie Kenny Silver. She's from Reno 911. Oh, but Erica Henningson or whatever, the, the Ginny, the, the girlfriend who's like, she's like a 32 year old girlfriend who he starts dating her character.

I haven't seen that part yet. Her character so easily could have been like this. She's just a nice, she's younger, but she's just like, she's trying to. Everyone's just, I don't know. I found it to be so pleasant. I really, really liked it. You know what? I think has been great this year. It's hacks. I haven't.. I found it to be so pleasant. I really, really liked it. You know what I think has been great this year? It's hacks. I haven't. I've not started.

Oh, it's so good, man. It's like them going through the Tonight Show and and they're like. Their relationships like super strange. I guess actually the beginning is a little bit ridiculous. The very first thing is a little there's a power play from Ava. That's a little bit like silly, but like whatever. But it's, it's Jean smarts. Fucking awesome. Yeah. It's great. She has some really good moments in the season. What was I watching? Oh, I was watching the accountant one gear up for the accountant too, you know,

naturally. And she has like the smallest possible role in the account. And really, and that was pre hacks and everything. It's like, damn, she was, she was like 65 waiting at the middle of the fucking Hill. Yeah. Who else wants some? Who else wants some? Like it was, you know, like it was a recognizable role, but like she must've had two lines in the whole movie.

Wow. And now she's like a four time Emmy winner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's awesome. That show is great. Yeah, there's definitely some good, look at that, 97% on Rotten Tomatoes. That's awesome. That's like they, you know, I just can't,

it's got to feel so good to have a hit show. Are you getting pumped to release yours? No, for real. Like, like. I'm excited. That's going to be a hit. I'm excited. Your first one, I think I've said this before

like whether it's a uh numbers hit, we don't know yet because you know your first one, you gotta grow but like the it's it's a lot like midnight bean. I think the people that watch it. I mean, I haven't even seen it yet. So, what am I talking about but from what I've watched you guys and seen you guys operate, I would guess I think the people who watch it are gonna be like, this is good, you know, and that's really all you're gonna ask for in the

beginning is like the the. I feel what we've always said is like when we like sitting here, like working on it, Owen said it first, actually, and I was always like, that's right. Where he was like, I don't know who's going to like it, but I

know like the seven of us or 10 of us or whoever was working on it. Slitmuth test like a huge sample size. We all like it. Yeah. So I hope everyone else does.

You know, you can't predict what an audience likes, but everything I've seen, I'm like, I don't know. That's fucking funny. There are certain few certain things at Parstool when a whole bunch of people like it. You know, it's something for everybody at Parstool. But when everybody with a like-minded sense of humor all agrees on something, usually those are the hits.

Well, I guess I don't think of, I try not to think about this a lot, like, people could fucking hate it. They might. Like, there's a chance. I would be very surprised. I think it's funny. But there is the chance. I think hate it. I think there's something very different about scripted, especially for us. I don't know about the general public. I think your first test is your fans along the way. And I think when you're doing a podcast, when you're doing content like that, I think it's easy to hate,

because it's kind of like you're not putting your heart and soul into it necessarily. You're just kind of talking. There's definitely a vibe of I could do that better than you or whatever. You think people are making money and successful off of like some lazy shit, basically. I don't know, I feel like fans. Which is the funniest thing because

if you think you can do it, you're the one being lazy. Yeah, you go do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's something to be said for like, I think at least that fans of us, of you you will be like, they worked at this, they did this right, they scripted, they wrote it, they filmed it, they acted, they edited like all that shit. I think that like builds up some kind of equity a little bit. You know what I mean? We're like the it might. There's also the chance that they like, it's it. I

don't think it's a high chance, but it a non-zero that they go she was stuck to podcast I just I don't I think there's too much talent involved though like yeah I mean it's like you know I don't know we put together a bunch of all-stars and the team sucks like it happened Yeah, but I'm probably not right now It's it's going well. I think I so badly want to show them the cold open right now. Yeah Yeah, let's go you know you can't say that and not show it to me you're fucking showing it to me I'm sure to me you think you're on air or after no Show it now like the I'm just trying to think how much build-up he needs

Oh, I think I think you need to see episode one to see this really yeah, cuz you got to know the characters first I was cold open episode to cold open three episode three of that's of episode two. Oh, that's two. That's two Oh, okay, then yeah, you probably gotta learn what how stupid these guys are first I understand you don't want to you know Like, you know, we're getting close to the point where episodes one through three are done. And I would like to start doing screenings first with those closest, and obviously you, and I think there's a handful.

So wait, so you would screen the first couple in case, what, you gotta change some things, you think, for the later episodes? Or do you just wanna? I just feel like I just want notes from the public. Because you can look at it with me, Owen, in fights, and they're very hands-on with the edit, and we can like things,

but I just want to see how others react. but like would you consider changing yeah yeah that's interesting I never thought of that I always thought like the season is the season and then maybe you could change for season two but if you could get a little impression halfway through and be like yeah maybe this one should be are you doing 21 minutes or 30 like 20 minutes 20 minutes 20 minutes runtime and then with ads like it would work the way to sitcom, whatever you read, like 25 to 30. And it's all, I guess we never made this clear, because they were asking about it in the gambling cave the other day.

It's all the same characters. They didn't know if it was out of order sketches, or something like that. Oh, like a sketch. It's a sitcom. Oh, yeah, you have some characters you play. Oh, in road to sitcom. And it is really funny.

I know it reads funny. It looks, I don't know. We'll see. We'll see what areas. Oh, and wrote a sitcom. And it is really funny. I know it reads funny. It looks, I don't know. We'll see. We'll see what happens. Oh, I can't wait. I think it's gonna be, you know, I think back to the podcasting,

like when we started the podcasting movement here, then it became something so much bigger than our show. Like, I don't know. I think it could really open the floodgates of like people doing scripted shit and like, bigger than our show. I don't know. I think it could really open the floodgates of people doing scripted shit or people start to take note outside of Barstool streaming services, people invest in it, producers, I don't know, whatever. That's how that shit starts. You don't do it because of that, but it's like when we started KFC Radio, I wasn't thinking

about let's turn Barstool into a podcast network, but it just happened. It's cool to see that. I was like, I'm realizing that this isn't what everyone's hope was. Like, like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, launch and I was like I was like I'm realizing that this isn't What everyone's I hope was? like like my whole time at bar so I've always been like Yeah, I want to descriptive stuff. Yeah, and it's just like Never materialized because a I didn't have the confidence to do it or be like I think part of this is a lot of shit that was stopped us from doing that way but nothing nothing ever expressly no it was always just like you kind of felt like we were more this kind of company

so you didn't try and do it like nothing nothing was ever told like you can't do this and I don't know it's just been fun and I've enjoyed it and I hope it's good but it might not be. We're going to have to work on your promotion game. Anyone who's promoting a show and not acknowledging the possibility that you might hate it, isn't promoting it right. You might, it might suck. I don't know. I think you're wrong. They're not promoting it maybe honestly, but they're promoting it well. I'm going to promote it honestly. I don't know. I think it's fucking awesome so far.

I don't know what'll happen, but so far I really like it. I can't speak. Again, we're gonna work on the best. Yeah. You can say that to us. We're gonna send you on other shows and you're not gonna say that. Dude, I'm 100% gonna say that.

I don't know what anyone's gonna think. But if you like my sense of humor and I've enjoyed it. I think that's the biggest thing to me is like, I think in a weird way, it's all built to this where it's like, I don't know, when you do a podcast, especially a comedy podcast, and for the last 10 years, we recommended the best specials and the best comics and the best podcast, and we're pretty much right every time. You know, there's also part of that. That is true. I was thinking back on that recently,

just like how many smart, funny people we've gotten to talk to is insane. And I put up like I was against anybody in the world in the fucking world. Probably Rogan won us two. Literally. Got to sit down and pick the brains of really smart, really funny people. Off camera, became legitimate friends with some of them,

business associates with others, talking to them, watching them, getting to even like, I think about how much I talk to Peter from Burt's team. The amount that I've just learned just listening to him and talking to him through osmosis, through watching them succeed, watching them fail, like pitfalls and things, what to do and not to do, all that shit. I almost wish we did more. There were times I'm like, I wish we like capitalized on that even more.

Because that moment, we still know these people and we still associate with them and they'll be on the show and all that. But that moment of like everything coming up was kind of coming on. You know, I don't think I had I know it was going to be that like fleeting. I would have maybe done things differently. I don't know. But yeah, like the best of the best, the funniest of the funniest, the best businessmen, the most creative, all that shit have like all been. It would be pretty foolish to not do anything with that knowledge. Right.

So like, hopefully we figure it out and hopefully, uh, something works, but it might not. That's the honest fucking thing. It might not. Yeah. You know, you might get hit by a bus, probably not. Um, uh, any, any update on when we're thinking about dropping or still up there? I mean, I have released data in my head. I have a really say in my head, say the same time. Yeah. I was gonna say three, two two one September 2nd Official

Announcement that is just that's what's put that I like pressure for like what I need to get done or else things will just I'll just keep doing all we'll just keep reshooting. We'll keep reshooting I'll just like is that is that after Labor Day that is before Labor Day? I think you should maybe come after Labor Day. No, I see what Labor Day is Yeah, there was a reason that what that date was thrown out. It is also my sister's birthday. Um That's the only reason I remember it but there is a reason that they was thrown out. I don't know exactly That's the only reason I remember it. But there is a reason that date was thrown out. I don't know exactly.

Oh, day after. I think that works. Like, give us something. You can even hype it up. You know, we always used to do worst weekends of the year. People say Labor Day is one of the worst ones. Yeah. Like, you have something to come out of it.

Yeah. We had some really funny promotion ideas that we're going to get cooking on late summer and promotion all throughout August. And then September September September release day confirmed we also confirmed yes past throwing out the I'll say confirmed breaking news Tuesday September is it gonna be weekly? Uh it's gonna be what weekly? Yes. Are you gonna do one episode of the release or like I always like the hybrid but you're gonna do one so I like the

hybrid as well but for youtube it's weird oh that's right that's right like you'd going to do one. But you're going to do one. So, I like the hybrid as well but for YouTube, it's weird. Oh, that's right. That's right. You wouldn't be able to like you'd have to premiere. Sure, sure. That's correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The original plan was two, maybe even three, probably two episodes at first.

Although, I don't know. You never know. I mean, YouTube, you can, you can do enough research and do confirmation bias for absolutely everything. I think what I'm starting to see now though is if you release two, it has something to feed you.

Like if, you know what I mean? Like if you release one episode, the algorithms like watch more of this, but there's only one, it feeds you similar shit, but if it could feed you a second one. Are you speaking to YouTube or are you speaking to like Apple TV and Netflix? Like, well, you know YouTube better than you both do, but the... I think YouTube, I don't know, this is kind of my latest like theory. I haven't tested it or anything, but I think there's some logic to like. If there's going to be a like click here to watch more, give it at least one more thing to do. You know, if it if it fucks up the algorithm and all that shit,

I don't think it's worth it, but I always like I think you get them like one. They like it if you if they like if they watch the second afternoon like that to the same night them to like one, they like it. If you got, if they liked, if they watched the second afternoon like that too, the same night, they're watching the rest of the agreed. We got to figure out a way to get one and two out at the same time. I'm going to hopefully talk to you too, at some point with our connections here, but cause you need to watch the first two, if that makes sense. Yeah.

The first one explains. Are you, are you worried about like doing a premiere? I mean, you could just publish to, I'm just worried about people actually watch the second episode first. And they're like, what was that? Got it. We didn't explain anything. I mean, you have to also give like, you can't be retarded.

Yeah, some dumb people are going to be done. You could say that about Netflix. I put on episode two instead of episode one. I don't know, you're a fucking idiot. It says episode. But I hear what you mean. It is like YouTube. Sorry to interrupt real quick.

It'll also be on the Out of Order YouTube, so go subscribe to that, please. Yes, yes, please. YouTube is so annoying, man. It's like altogether the most effective and important and big and all that shit, and then it's also infuriating where it's like, if you don't play by like every single little goddamn rule,

you might, the whole thing might be shot. Yeah. You know, it's so annoying. I completely agree. But I also try and like, I don't know, 10 years ago, you had to beg CBS to put your 20 years ago. Yeah, there's always been double rules to play by. There's been something else.

Totally, totally. But to me, it's just like, it kind of drives me crazy that it's like, this is not TV, this is more like for content. It's like, everything has to be the same theme and the same length, like to me, that's not creativity. You know what I mean? It's like, well, this one was eight minutes

and this one's 15 minutes, your whole thing's fucked. It's like, what, why? You know, I really, I also am just super salty about the era we came up in being like, talk's like, what, why? I really, I also am just super salty about the era we came up in being like, talk about everything, is now that you're almost like penalized for that. And I hate that, because it's like, I found success talking about Game of Thrones,

people just do that. I'm like, I don't wanna just talk about Game of Thrones. But everybody out there now, it's like I watch some of these people who like figure out like a prank or a skit or an angle, and they just do that forever. And I'm like, there's part of me that watches them that I'm jealous of their success. And there's part of me that's like, yeah, Joey Swole's just out here talking about gyms again.

I don't understand how you do that as a human with like any, especially if you're doing this and you're creative, that means you have some sort of like feelings and emotion behind it. And you're just like, I'll just do it again Oh, no, not me man. Not even like when we did You know I think for a while we were really trying to figure out what out of order is and stuff like that and we went through different iterations of like episodes with sketches and then we went through just like single sketches and then we went through Topical sketches and that topical sketches era

was the easiest to do. But the like most like me satisfying like like who cares about that? Really? Yeah, I did not like to lose. I didn't hate it. I didn't. I didn't like the Jew Tunnels skit. I think was so funny. But that was Jew Tunnels. That was like impromptu. That wasn't we were sitting down trying to think of topical speeches. Yeah. It becomes a little like you're at the mercy of the news rather than what you want to be doing. And it's just like, I don't want to talk about that. But I don't know, there's so many times I'll hit paths with like a, this would be great for a skit.

And it's like, like I, I, I've been begging them to do a hype tunnel one. Yeah. And like, that would be really fun, but I can understand where it's like, you know, you don't sit around for years thinking about, you sit around for years trying to do a scripted TV show. You don't sit around thinking about doing hype tunnel sketches. But it was like, you come in. I remember they were probably like two or three weeks

in a row, because we had like a Monday meeting. And they would be like, two or three weeks in a row, where you come in with like, just like 10 things that happened over the weekend. Yeah. And it was like, OK, how do we make this fun? And yeah, I don't dislike it. I, I dislike that being the goal. I was like, I don't know. I don't want to do it.

It feels a little chasing like, like views and like waves and whatever's viral. And it's like, I mean, what if that week is a bunch, 10 topics that you do not give a fuck about? Like I got to do one of these. That's where it becomes a little bit of a job and that part sucks. Whereas if you're doing your show, it's like, this is just, I love every aspect of this. Which is why that's the ultimate. That's why everybody, you know,

like it's why you wanna be a movie star or TV star. It's like, this is awesome that you get to do like that. What you love, you know? I'm pumped, man. I think it's gonna be great. I really can't wait for it. We'll see. We'll see.

Am I doing a bad job? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, definitely a bad job. I think, I think that's the way, I think, honestly. Yes, but I mean, just think about literally all advertising ever. It's not like at the Super Bowl, you watch someone crack a Bud Light and be like, you might like this, or you might hate it.

That's just not what people do. Hey, check out my new sneakers. Like, they, you might like this, or you might hate it. That's just not what people do. Hey, check out my new sneakers. You might think they're uncomfortable. I don't know. Well, I don't want you to watch it if you don't like it. Just if you like it, you should keep watching it. If you don't like it, don't watch it. Well, that's where maybe you could be the honest pitch man,

and that'll be your angle. Be like, that guy doesn't jam things down my throat. He just tells me I might hate it. Yeah. It will be crazy. But also, okay, here's, here's, here's where you're wrong. You're only saying that because it's you. Because if like, if the Stefano had a new special out right now, you would tell people, this is fucking how to new special out right now. You would tell people like, this is **** funny. Go watch

it. Correct. You got me. You would not be like, you might not like Chris. You would just say, this is awesome. Go watch it. You're only doing it because it's yourself. Agreed and I think that's it's ultimately for other people to

decide. So, I'll be like, oh, I like it. You should watch it. See what you think. Agreed but when you're promoting Chris, you wouldn't say that, cause you're just not gonna. I think I would. I think I would. You haven't. You have never, we've never had someone on the couch

and you've been like, I like it, but you guys might hate it. But I said that. I think if we're gonna keep using DeStefano, like I think DeStefano should sit here and go. He should. I liked it and you might hate it. Yeah, yes, yes. But I'm saying when you are, you're promoting a guest, you are, you're being polite about it and you're like,

I want to do the best job I can for you promoting. Yes. And that does not include being honest about the possibility that my eye, the best promotion is just, I mean, people are dumb. Like, like put it this way, the people who you are, the dumb people, you're going to like this. No, but I think the opposite. Go into it where the fuck is. Smart people, smart people know that, like, if you are, if you watch a TV show and you're like, I don't like this and Feinberg told me it was good. What the fuck? Like everybody

knows there's an inherent level of like risk that you might not like to tell me it was good. What the **** Like everybody knows there's an inherent level of like risk that you might not like something that's being promoted. The smart people get that. The dumb people are dumb and if you tell them it's good, they'll probably just believe

you. I mean, the amount of people I. Everyone who's watched it thinks it's good. There you go. That's it. That's it. You might not. You might not. Just we're just going to, I'm going to send you on a press tour, and I'm going to be like with the producer, and I'm going to be like, three, two, one. Cut off his mic.

It's a really great show. You might move. Just talking to nobody. It's going to be great. It's like people sit down, watch the show, and drink your midnight bean. Because everyone who has done those two things has liked those two things. That's it. We'll leave it at that.

All right. Get into the back half of our episode. Now we got we're joined by Nimesh Patel, who is, I think, one of the one of the most really likable, enjoyable guys we've had in a while. Like, like he's the man. I and this sounds like I'm you might not like I like them. Uh, but there has been a big change since we filmed this interview. Uh, yes, that's right. That's the, so he was on to promote a Netflix special that he had recorded himself and

Netflix then bought, I guess with the hype around it or whatever, Netflix decided, you know what? We wanna buy a whole new special. We wanna buy, not a whole new, we wanna buy your new material. And so they're pushing back the release date, I guess it's out now, I think. And it's, it's, Nimash Patel, go watch him on Netflix.

Very, very, very, very, very funny. I loved his story about, with him and Jay. And Chris Rock. Yes, that was great. Yeah, that's really cool. When you can start name dropping, like I knew he was talented and I knew he was successful when you start talking about how you're writing for Chris Rock because he thinks you're funny.

It's like, oh, yeah, what's enough? Another example of like, that's just another guy who we take for granted that like you were learning from him and talking to him. Yeah. Oh, yeah. All right. And you mesh Patel on KC radio. Let's talk to him.

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Use KFC to save today. Offer is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply. Fast growing trees proudly supports American farmers. All plants and trees are grown tough on American soil by American farmers. Check out the link below or in the show notes and support the show please. I think I've had poppy before and all these the other ones right? Yes, yes. Or maybe that's one of them sold. I'm like gut. They're Probiotic right? Oh, it's a little more than just apple cider vinegar is like the gimmick. Yeah, and it's just like It's all just marketing like yeah, it really is just like the can looks nice the color Whatever it is all it is where your shelf space is is the most right yeah, totally

Marge will crazy because it's something that like I the color, whatever it is. It's all it is. Where your shelf space is is the most right. Yeah, totally. Mars is so crazy because it's something that like I never would consider. I know it's like it's not something I've thought about. I don't think I've ever walked into a like especially a liquor store and just been like that looks I guess with wine. I've done that. That's all I do.

But like with no, I'm sorry, with wine. With wine. Yes. But everything else is like if I'm going for a bottle of whiskey It's like I'm getting the whiskey. I know and like, you know, but how it guys wine is a good example how it got there To being the whiskey. I like it's probably I'm like, I don't Why do I like I like it? They buy they buy the shelf space and then whoever wins that shelf the at the compete to stay on that shelf

I ever wins the shelf space is usually the win. The person that gets bought out for a billion bucks. Whatever it is. It's great. I remember watching like coming to America and that show on HBO. They make the jeans. I think I talk about the movie. Yeah, no, I'm sorry.

Made in America. Yeah, the one with God, I forget his name. Brian Austin. No, it's not Brian Austin Greenberg. Brian Greenberg. Yeah, the one with uh, god, I forget his name. Brian Austin. What was the name? No, it's not Brian Austin Green, but Brian Greenberg. Yeah, there's um, and uh, even when that show starts they're like selling um, Energy can energy drinks and uh, some kind of like Jamaican energy drink and they're always arguing about shelf space And I remember I was younger seeing it and I was like who cares just get in the store Yeah, that's why they put all the kid shit low too.

All the sugary shit's way down low. It's all wizardry. Yeah, it's kind of like, it's impressive and it's also like, but you're kind of using this for evil, aren't you? It's impressive knowledge and technology. Everything's being used for evil. It's all over.

Everything is evil. It's all evil now. You actually, you give me hope. Really? Yeah, because for whatever reason, you're always, motivation I should say. You are like front of my TikTok every time I open it. I'm sorry.

And I don't know, I use TikTok to like make videos and I don't necessarily consume a lot on there, but I recently was like, I'm trying to get my numbers up and I feel like if I use the app in general, they'll like reward me because I'm a slave to this fucking platform. And so I started to follow more people and you were one of the people in it

and I guess I watched it a couple of times and now it's just every time it's your app. I'm sorry. But I'm like, this is the goal, I need this, this is what I'm talking about. It's been like a gift I'm like, this is the goal. I need this. This is what I'm talking about. It's been like a gift and a curse in the sense of like, I'm on it all the time. Meaning you're, I don't, I don't swipe at all. I'm just like checking like,

how are people watching? And like, I've slowly learned like, it's a, a beyond being addiction, it's like, it kind of messes with my brain in the sense of it being like am I gonna sell this show out? Am I gonna like I'm weary like I try to see if I can think of a formula that means if this got this many Views I mean tickets are converted to I had to stop like doing all that shit. Yeah, that'll break you. I can't do this Yeah, it's nonsense. Yeah, that's that's honestly from where I sit incredibly impressive Even be like I'm gonna do math and like because you were you were like a science guy, right? No, I'm a finance major, but it's all just it's all just analytics. I was pre-med too

But he's like cook coke or something like that once no Thank you. I know what you're talking about. That's a joke. had in my special where I accidentally made some kind of narcotics. Okay. You cook coke, bro. Let's not split hairs here. Cooking in pies. Look, whether you cook coke in a lab or in a fucking kitchen, you cook coke. What a game of telephone you play in your own head.

This is my friend, he's a drug dealer. He works for the cartel. Yeah. He was a drug dealer. He's a drug dealer. He works for the cartel. No, nothing like that. I knew you had done it in a lab, like in a medical facility. But I was like... Dude, you guys, there's never been anybody worse at selling tickets than me and this guy. We were the worst at it. Put it on sale and make like some half ass announcement

and hope that it sells out then. Because if it didn't, we, okay. And then like the day of we'd be like, we gotta move 350 tickets today and that ain't happening. You guys do this live? We did, we haven't done it in a while. It's been a couple of years, but we used to do like one, we had probably like a two year stretch

where we did like one a month or like, we would do like three, you know, in bunches every couple of months in Houston, Austin, Dallas, like that's, you know, things like that. And, uh, and we were just, you know, it was for us, it's like, it was an extra thing. So it was like, we have this show and this sketch show and an internet series and then live. So it was never like front front of our mind to really push it.

And we weren't moving enough tickets that like, I'm sure once you start making real money you do focus Yeah, did you get disheartened by the fact that you weren't moving tickets or was it just? I actually We were the very end I did but in the beginning like not not at all in the beginning we did sell well enough, but there was definitely a couple times where we Not not at all in the beginning. We did sell well enough, but there was definitely a couple times where we We got out over our skis a little bit and booked a place That was too big and then we did stupid stuff like we did a but we did the Wilbur in Boston on Lake st. Patrick's Day or something like that March Madness and it was like yourself and it sold well

But then nobody showed up and that sucked and then by the end it was like we were doing like a room in Pittsburgh for like A hundred people I was like, what are we doing? And it was like, we were doing like a room in Pittsburgh for like a hundred people. I was like, what are we doing here? You know, so, but, but that, I really respect the ticket grind cause I watch, you know, all you guys cutting promos and coming up with new ways to fuck up. That's why I mean, I hated doing it.

And I remember thinking in my mind, you only have so many bullets on social media, you know, and I was like, I don't want to waste it. Just being like buying tickets, you know, cause people just get sick of that shit No, they got it just the other thing too though is you realize how often you need to do that because we would have diehard fans be like oh we didn't even know you Were in town all the time

Only these like if you're listening Mark Zuckerberg if you could figure out how I could get to people who I've already gotten to Like it would be such a game changer. Like if I could hook these people without having to make them pay or subscribe or whatever the fuck it is, just let me keep talking to these same people. I understand you can't open up this algorithm to everybody every time to get new people, but all I'm asking is for the people who follow and like me to just see my shit. Exactly.

Like on TikTok, I have one and a half million followers, right? It's always new people that come to the shows. Really? Always. And it's, and I've been doing touring for like three years now. Right. So like, and I don't think the shows are so bad that people are like, no, no, no. I think a lot of times what happens is that the TikTok just serves to new people cause it's a growth algorithm. It's not a retention algorithm. But that's, I think that lot of times what happens is that the Tik Tok just serves to new people. Cause it's a growth algorithm. It's not a retention algorithm, but that's, I think that's good. It's good, but it would be, you need, but like, if I could get to the,

all the people that came out to the first shows back, I'd be doing like, arena, like one and a half million followers is an insane number of followers to have. If I could get to all of them constantly, like, bro, I would need to do anything. Right. But for whatever reason, the algorithm's like, no, just new, just new, just new. I remember when we went to Denver

and we were getting a car at Enterprise. And the guy who worked at Enterprise was a huge fan. I think I was the one who happened to be checking out or give my license or whatever. And he's like, dude, massive, massive fan. Love, is that Kevin? Is that Jackie? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What are you guys in town for? I'm like, how big a fan can you be? How are we missing each other? How are we passing ships in the night here that you don't even know we're together, bro? It's all we fucking talked about for a month. It's wild that, I'm a big fan, are you? Yeah, yeah.

They are. Yeah, which is great. That's what I mean is like, so you have 1.5 million followers, are you? Yeah, yeah. They are. Yeah, which is great. It's not their fault. That's what I mean. So you have 1.5 million followers, but probably, what, a couple hundred thousand see that at any given post. So it is like, that's where I'm just like, if people would just, I say this all the time,

but it's like, just click the Like button, click Subscribe, do the thing, because it helps so goddamn much. And we don't have to do it as much. We don't have to worry as, you know, I had a call with Metta for the first time. So like Facebook, Instagram, all that shit. And they basically were telling me that they were like, I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but fuck it. They were saying how they're like,

you can talk politics again, basically. And like they were saying in 2020, like if you said talk politics again, basically. And they were saying in 2020, if you said the word Trump, your shit got flagged. And it would be suppressed. And now it's no longer, they're no longer, we'll serve it to new people, but your current followers, you're talking about, will see that content you make. Interesting.

For some reason, they think I'm super political. They were like, we had to have this talk with you. I was like, really? Do you think I'm somebody else? I don't think of myself as overly political. But as I'm talking to them, so I have been doing pretty well on Instagram and every single follower I get, almost to the number is offset by a magical amount

of unfollows every single day for like two years. And I'm like, this is just not possible. And I'm explaining all the numbers to them. And I'm like, I'm up a billion percent here and a million percent there and nothing unfollowers. And they were like, they basically admitted, they were like, let me check your account. And they're like, no, there's no flags or anything on it.

And I'm like, so you do fuck with people's accounts. You know what I mean? Because you just told me you're not doing that to me. So they were like, let me go make sure that we're not. OK, yeah, you're clean. I'm like, how many people are not, though? Right. So I was like, just go back there and pull the fucking lever

and push the button for me, please. Open the fucking floodgates. Yeah, just do it, bro. Come on. I use your shit all day. Please. I've seen a huge influx recently. And unfortunately, I don't know how real they are

because I also get a huge influx in like the hidden requests, like DM section. So it's all like bots or whatever. Where it's just like, it's just like, people with like 20 followers, it says new follower, and they're just sending me reels of just like random ass videos I have no interest in watching.

They're all from India. And I'm just like, what? What? OK, these numbers are fake. Yeah. Yeah. Mark bought some numbers in India or something. Right. Like they're all coming to me for whatever reason. Yeah. Sure. Like send me all the bots you want as long as that number goes up. Yeah. I'm like, yes, it's great.

But like, yeah, but it's not, you know, it's not. It's not a it's not an actionable. Right. Yeah. Like I'd rather have less ones that I know are all interacting. Although I say that, but it's like based on the way people sell things and the way brands look at things, like you just need to have that number look big. So that's all it is. I mean, all the fucking bots you want. I don't know. Bring on the bots. Yeah. Uh, I, the, the latest one I had seen, I DM'd you when I saw it a fucking bots you want. I don't know. Bring on the bots. Yeah.

The latest one I had seen I DM'd you when I saw it a couple weeks ago You were doing crowd work and this chick just goes are you are you red dot or feather? Oh, yeah He was like god damn So wasn't crowd work what had happened that was Salt Lake City. It was earlier this it was it it was last year I was on stage literally three minutes into the show and what had happened, that was Salt Lake City, it was earlier this, it was last year, I was on stage literally three minutes into the show. And I'm trying to do, I'm warming up for the special taping basically, I think it was a few months before I taped the special.

And I was like figuring out what I wanted to open with, what kind of material, like which set of jokes I was gonna open with for the special. And I think I'd opened with like, what I ended up the special was like opening with like a very Indian heavy thing. Asserting my Indian-ness more or less. And this woman is like stage left, she's drunk

and she looks white. And she's like, I have a question. I'm like, bro, it's too early. Yeah, we're not doing Q and A yet. It's like that's the end. Yeah, we're not doing Q&A Are you red dot or feather and I was like what year is this? How are we how are you what year are you asking this and I also a pretty ridiculous Yeah, you know all the Cherokees named Dimash Patel. I mean, it's just hell. It's like, it's the one.

There's Indians, there's other Indian people in the room. I know Utah is a white ass place, but like there's other Indians around. And they're all from India. Like Salt Lake City is quickly becoming one of these towns where like a lot of... Really? Oh, that's interesting. When you said Salt Lake City, I thought, I was like, that's a pretty white crowd. No, Salt Lake City is, I think there's like a bunch of back office operations. Like one of Golden's back office operations are there. They're having a lot of software companies do back office and engineering there. But the way she asked it, it was kind of innocuous,

but also like she was too drunk too early in the show. Yeah. And I was just like, what are you talking about? Like you got to ease into that question. The whole crowd was like, God damn, we're racist, but not immediately. And then I think she was like, she was like white and blonde, um, but like streaky blonde. And I think one of her friends like, she's drunk. And she's like, I'm native. I was like, well, I didn't want to make an insult.

Like, well, obviously one of those, those go hand in hand. But, what the fuck? Like, that's where I, that's where my head was going. And then like, I don't know how I disarmed her. I don't know how, I don't remember how I disarmed her, but she eventually got up like crying, like, look. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She was, like, it was too early to be that drunk. It might have been the early show. Like, bro, you were like it was too early to be that drunk early show like bro you That that reminds me of Akash is latest special when he have you seen that one? No haven't he has this woman It's right in the front of the crowd. It's an Indian man and a white woman Uh-huh, and he's like, where did you guys meet like white white blonde haired woman. And she's like, Muzz match. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. And she just ended up being I forget where she was from, but she was albino.

Oh, right. I remember watching that special. I was like, this is insane. But those are the moments, man. Like, I'm always I'm always impressed and stunned. It never ceases to amaze me how many of those moments you guys stumble into like Every time there's somebody who's like wow, this is a moment. Yeah, it's a it's a law of large numbers You know, yeah enough things enough. They'll find out by no Like in the last three years, I probably don't like a thousand shows

Yeah, yes, like do you still have to deal with like, like when you put post something like that, obviously that's an extreme example, but like when you deal with, when you post crowd work, if it's crazy enough, are people like plant, do people still say that kind of stuff? People will be like, like on TikTok, I see that a lot. This is planted. This is planted. I'm just like, first of all, it's not. Second of all, what do you think, like, do you think a comedian is also running like, first of all, it's not. Second of all, what do you think, like do you think a comedian is also running like some kind of weird production casting call? I'm obsessed all the time too.

I'm like, you think we're sitting around writing these scripts to come up with these storylines? Right, who the fuck is? If I could do that, we would be doing that. Right, like the level of production required to have that dance happen that well. I was gonna say, like this girl is acting perfectly drunk and asking the most ridiculous question,

the conversation is perfectly natural, yeah. We're gonna win an Academy Award. Right, that never happens. But it's not even, if I could do it well, maybe I would. But it's an impossible task, and I'm barely doing the show. Right, right. Yeah, yeah, right. Jesus Christ, thank you for thinking so highly of me. Right. Task and I'm barely doing the show

Like thank you for thinking so highly of me right I could coordinate all this have a time perfect Are there people do people do plants though? I don't know. There's there's probably some comics I don't want name names on camera that I like you're like within the comedy community like that motherfucker Yeah, every video Every video is perfectly scripted and you've never lost yeah okay bro with random people I always think where I'm like how much do you need to see like what the world's giving you what the Internet's giving you is like look into the world and I'm like how much do you need to see to just see that the world's insane like everything is

like like this is fake. This is fake. No, it's real. And I couldn't have faked this if I wanted to. I hear you. I get that. But but like he said, there are some times I just I wouldn't put it past people. People will do anything to make it. You know, for sure. But like at this stage in our lives and I think most people who are like

you've done a lot. Yeah. And rarely have you ever run into a person who did. Yeah. I mean, we get it all the time. There's one or two occasionally that you have a suspicion about. But like we've talked to thousands of comedians that no one's ever done it. That felt like she lost the bet. You know, I mean, like she was like, I'm going to do this. Which is also like that could be I'm sure there are people who are like,

I'm going to go and I'm going to get on camera. But that's not a plan. You know, that's just. Which is also like that could be I'm sure there are people who like I'm gonna go oh no and I'm gonna get on camera but that's not a plant you know that's just something that happens and it's the funniest shit to me is is the stuff that you I've never put on tape some things that have happened like in an audience where like I'm like damn I wish I had that on camera oh I was gonna say why don't you you say yeah just like't film. Yeah, just like missed the moment. Like didn't have a camera going on. Sometimes I now I'm from here on I'm probably not gonna have camera ever again I just like hate the whole clip process. Yeah, and hopefully the special does enough where I can just sell tickets without having to put clips up constantly. Yeah, but there's been moments where just like organically something insane happened and I'm like well that was a fucking beautiful moment. I wish I

had that on camera but I didn't capture it and on the flip but nine times out of ten an interaction with an audience member is like the worst thing that's ever happened. Why am I doing this? This sucks. Well this led nowhere. Well, yeah, of course. It's like, yeah, I'm talking to a drunk amateur. Yeah. Not in the professional. You are a drunk idiot.

Yes. Of course it's not gonna go well. Like, my favorite, I did this joke on the first, and thank you, China, but this is a true story. I was in Indianapolis, and it was during Halloween, so I was making fun of a few people. I made fun of Jesus Christ. Some literal priest got up and was like very mad.

I was like every knee shall bow. And I just said, you know, it's like Jesus' gay ass dick or something. And he stormed out. He stormed out and I was like, fuck, why didn't I have my camera at that point? There's so many moments, for every moment you see that happens on on a clip like

Thousand that never happened. That's exactly I bet more often than not It's you didn't get it on camera right then you got like a fake thing on camera, but don't you you you like? Just run the fucking camera, and then you don't you have to make the clip away if you get the the big moment Well sometimes I don't have the camera. Sometimes the audio is fucked up. Sometimes like it just doesn't make me look good. Right. I put up a few where I'm just like the audience has clearly won. I like that too, though. Like they made me laugh in the moment.

I'm having a good time on stage. I'm just like, I think that's more interesting to me. I remember Jim Norton had a series where he just posted his bombs. And it's like, I like this,. You know, you gotta, you know, you gotta be cool enough to post your L's as well. If I take an L and it's funny, then I'll take that. What was that priest deal? Like what was he? He was, I mean, if you walk into a club as a priest, you're like, I'm probably going to catch a

stray. I don't know. I mean, I didn't, I didn't see him as a priest. Like I didn't see him, but priest. I didn't see him. But I just meant like his belief system. Oh, yeah. Someone's got to make fun of. We're going to come up. I was going I was going pretty hard on Christianity at the time. Christian is catching these. Well, deserve. Yeah.

We've earned that one. Yeah. I was making fun of Hinduism, but I was like, well, Christianity is also a viable target. And if I'm going to give it to to my own people then I'll give it to the Christians too and He he was very upset like I will never I don't care what the topic is if you go to a comedy show Yeah, and you storm out of a comedy show. You are the biggest loser What like and also like bro, just turn the other cheek. That's your Like what like and also like bro, just turn the other cheek. That's your How priestly can you be if you're that upset about someone just saying was he in the frock?

No, I think his his people that he was with were like, oh, he's like a pastor or whatever. Yeah Priest pastor different if you're not fucking if you're not in the collar. Yeah, you're not fucking, if you're not in the collar, you're not a real one. If you're not wearing the collar 24 7, dude, you're not real. You're fucking, what, you're one of those cool preachers? Get the fuck out of here. What, you're wearing like a hoodie? Get the fuck out of here. That's crazy. He was mad.

I saw a video of a chick on a plane the other day. It was delayed and she turned to the person behind her and said, can you film this? She stood up and she's like, I know this is like terrible right now But I just want to take this time to tell you to repent because Lord Jesus Christ is your Savior And there were just people like all of it all across the plane going no It was like watching people unite like Jewish black white Indian moving like Jewish black white Indian whatever being like shut the fuck up Someone brings their their religion onto a plane and makes it known. Oh man

No Crash lady cuz that's what I'm praying for There was that one a while ago I want to say maybe was two years ago and it was like I don't know some kind of Jesus camp Whatever coming home on like a Southwest flight. And I think it was in the air when like one of the girls got her guitar and they started singing and I was like, I would lose my fight. Like, like I'm in the middle of Olympus has fallen right here. I'm watching a fucking action movie at 30,000 feet. This is a,

you're ruining my experience. This is a you're brooding This is like something my my ancestors dreamed of I'm flying I'm moving 800 miles an hour right now watching Gerard Butler stab a guy in the head and I got a fucking deal with Charter your inner devil Was that sure you were this yeah, oh this is that's my dad Okay, two co-workers and it's treach from Naughty by Nature. I yeah, there's liquor store What is that shirt you're wearing? This? Yeah. Oh, this is my dad. Oh, OK. Two co-workers, and it's Tretch from Naughty by Nature. Yeah. At his liquor store.

Hell yeah. Yeah, yeah. This is from 93 or 94. That's a great shirt, man. Thank you very much, man. It's my doing podcast hoodie. Naughty by Nature rolls up in your store in 93. That's like a big fucking deal.

That's like prime hip-hop array right? I mean Tretch is from East Orange that's where my dad's store was that was hip-hop array OPP all that shit. That was that era he came through and I have a bit about this too but I mean it's nonetheless true he's my dad was like came home was like do you know OPP? Do you know? you know OPP? I'm like, do you know? How old were you then? I 93 or seven. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Which is, I always think funny cause it's like he should know OPP more than you should have known. I'm telling mom, bro. You shouldn't know other people's pussy. Is that what OPP stands for? Other people's pussy. Other people's pussy. Fuckin' like somebody's girlfriend. Other people's penis. I think about like, cause like,

92, 3 is like West Coast, Gangsta Rap, fuckin' like bad lyrics for a 7 and 8 year old. Oh yeah, NWA. Yeah. Right at the start of that shit.

Luckily like my dad knew well enough not to bring home like every CD that came into the store. But I would get like hip hop compilation albums because he would bring them home. And I'd be like, oh this is fucking hard shit. Yeah. Seven years old. Seven years old.

I remember I I I the first like rap CD I really ever got was legal drug money from lost boys and I was like I'm probably eight years old I got the first one I got I got my parents let me buy drag-ons. I don't know if you remember drag. Yeah, but he was his dear friend. He's like, Oh, really? Yeah. It's like DMX Junior. Yeah. He was supposed to be the next like one. I think that was my first was I mix. I got it at Easter.

I got for Easter in my Easter basket. I got flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood. And what a fucking Easter album. Right. You know how crazy it was? Like I was still I probably wasn't still young enough to believe in the Easter bunny My mom was still doing the stuff that like the basket

She wasn't ready to accept the fact that I didn't so like she would have um You know how like ladies have their powder and shit like that. She would take her powder Thing and she would make it look like a little like a bunny print. So I had bunny prints leading to my Easter basket, which contained DMX flesh of my flesh. Oh my god. And I was like, yeah, these two, it's probably about time for these two. These two maturity levels line up.

If you're old enough to be listening to that, it's probably a wrap for the Easter bunny. That is wild. I mean, I could splash my flesh blood in my blood and it's dark and hell is hot like I can see how a Mom would think these are probably good strong There was probably like a Christmas in the early 90s and I remember, you know at that point it was just CDs on CDs on CDs and I probably got know, ranging from like a Tupac CD to like

the Boys to Men album. And I, my parents was like, what the fuck is wrong with this? Range. The clothes I was wearing and shit like, Oh, you were, you were all about the, well that was like a little later, but by like seventh eighth grade high school, I'm wearing like, you know, rock aware and Sean John and all this shit. It's like At least you look at the part a little bit more Like, you know when it came time, I was mostly buying that shit for myself, but what came time for Christmas?

It was a sweater or something that was too expensive. I'm pretty sure you know, I'm like this even my mom having to go to those stores I'm pretty sure you know, I'm like this even my mom having to go to those stores Dude I had a fubu shirt One like a fool like like Jersey football Jersey. Yeah, it was powder blue and had like yellow letters on it Whatever. I was probably in seventh grade wore it to school my buddy who was black Was like I'm gonna buy that for me for $20 and I took it off and I was like deal and I gave it to school my buddy who was black was like I'm gonna buy that for me for $20 And I took it off and I was like deal and I gave it to him and he was like Reef you all know we all know the brand reef every single person I would venture to guess close to every single American knows the brand reef

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sell us it yeah like yeah I'm get the fake food when I was I didn't I didn't know yeah then you see it on the back, I'm gonna get the fake food. I didn't know. Then you see it on the back, they still got like the fake, what's it, print part. They didn't bother ripping the stuff off. The embroidery part. I got a fake Tommy Hilfiger hoodie. And I made the mistake of telling,

what I thought was like a close friend. I was like, I didn't even understand it was like bootleg. I was kind of like, oh, there's this place over in Co-op City that like sells them like cheaper, you know, whatever my parents told me to be like, here's the fake shit, you know? And he just went and told like everybody. And that's like a core memory for me,

being like for like a split second, the only time in my life ever that I was like, oh, I'm like the poor kid, like everyone was making fun of, I was like, this sucks. This fucking sucks, dude. I remember being like, you betrayed me. I'm like the poor kid. Everyone was making fun of us. I was like, this sucks. This fucking sucks, dude. I remember being like, you betrayed me. Told you that in confidence. No one knew what I was wearing.

They were just like, oh, that's cool. Because I was just like, I was the kid whose dad worked in the black neighborhood, so I was getting all this black shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I would wear it to my white ass school for Indian kids and white kids. They're like, oh, FB. But it was a liquor store.

You said, yeah, yes. You were like, no, my parents did not let me. It was in an awful neighborhood. And I was also a teenager when my dad's my dad's stores, heyday. And then once I went to college, it was like, oh, there's no reason for me to work there. Yeah. You know, and I'm thankful I didn't in that. I probably would've seen some shit.

It's not a great atmosphere. Well, you still ended up cooking crack. Yeah, yeah. I went a few times. I would spend like a Saturday or Sunday there. I wasn't working, I was just hanging out, bullshitting, talking to customers and stuff. Which is also probably bad.

Yeah, yeah, they were all cool. But no, never work there consistently. My parents were also just like, you don't need a job. You shouldn't be working right now. You need to understand the value of school. Yeah. I wish I understood the value of money. Yeah, right.

It's like learning about money is much more important. How did they accept the comedy route? Well, I mean, they were, you know, when I started in 09, comedy in the Indian community, at least at that time was just Russell Peters. Aziz hadn't blown up yet. Hussein had was barely doing comedy. But so they were ignorant of what it meant to do stand up. Like they were like they knew what it was, it was, like you go on stage and you make people laugh,

but they were just like, do you make money doing this? I'm like, no, I'm paying to do open mics. And they were just like, why? I was like, I don't know why I'm doing it. I couldn't articulate, I felt compelled to shit, like make people laugh, and I was going through a depression because I had high expectations for myself as a premed finance grad and neither one of those things played out.

And that's somehow subconsciously making me want to go on stage and let people know how I feel. That was never articulated. It was like, leave me alone. I'm going to go do stand up comedy. But they were just like, okay, well if this is something you're doing, then pay rent. Like you can live at home,

but we're paying for your bus tickets to go to Jersey, like, I mean, to go to New York, like, why would, it's a lot of money, it's three, 400 bucks a month, plus you gotta eat when you're in the city. You gotta be full in your weight, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you're not, we pay for you to go to school, like, what the fuck are you doing? And so once I got a job in finance,

they were really like, okay, well, if this is something you're gonna be doing, just get good at it. Just get good. Where did you work in finance? I worked three different jobs. I worked as a research assistant at a hedge fund for about eight months before they were like,

well, he clearly doesn't wanna do finance. Because I was, I was telling the story yesterday to somebody, where it's like, well, he clearly doesn't want to do finance. Because I was telling the story yesterday to somebody, where it's like, I remember very clearly when I knew I was gonna get fired from the hedge fund job because there was like a company outing at like a restaurant and I had started a show on Monday nights that started at 8.30 and the company outing and the company was in Irvington, New York.

So like it took me an hour and a half, two hours to get to Williamsburg. I was like, dinner got served, I ate dinner, I was like, all right Ron, I gotta go. And everyone was looking at me like, what the fuck are you doing? It's like a 10, 15 person shop. So they're like.

Your absence was noticed. Exactly, and he's looking at me like all right and within like a few weeks I was fired. Yeah, that was my first that was my first job. I got outside of college. That was like a full-time job I was a research assistant at hedge fund and then from there I told myself next place I end up I'm gonna let them know I do stand up So that if I'm leaving at 6, they're not like pissed. Yeah. Yeah And that would the second shop was a boutique investment bank So that if I'm leaving at six, they're not like pissed. Yeah. Yeah. And that was the second shop was a boutique investment bank, which mind you, the first

company I told I do stand up in 2000 in 2021, they invited me to perform at their 20th anniversary party. So like that back then, it's whatever. I could see it working against you. Maybe it's OK. I feel like now, if you could do both, you could probably crush. Because the finance world does love that shit now. And you could be like, I work for these guys,

but I'll also do these corporate events, and you'll see me out. That's not a bad idea. Close deals. For real, I mean, if you're in a field of finance where it's like, you know, we can give our business here or there, and there's a top comic over here who will do a show and fuck around, you should get back in the game, bro.

Yeah, I might, I might, you never know. So that job, that was for a year and change, but that led to a lot of opportunities, even outside, directly from that job, because the founder was a fan of comedy and a fan of one of the comedians that I didn't know, but was like, you know this guy? I was like, yeah, sure.

And that ended up, this Maz Gibran, it ended up opening for him a few times, doing guest spots at Caroline's. That led to me going on the road with him for a shoot. So that company is kind of part of your story. Yeah for sure. That's great. 100% and then they they had like a I think a year and a half in they had like a not great year and I was like the last person in so I was the first person out and then I went to a family office running that was running money for two billionaires to like invest in

Sub-Saharan Africa. And I just joined as an executive assistant. At the investment bank, I was an assistant at 26 years old to a bunch of 22 year old bankers. And so I was just like, shut the fuck up. I'm not doing that. Or just like, yeah, sure, I'll take your receipts and submit them to the accounting and all that kind of stuff.

It was just like a fun dynamic that I had because the associates and the VPs were all my age. Right. The new associates were all 26, 27 years of age and they were just like, I was just covering them too and they're just like, what's going on, bro? It was a fun vibe, you know? So wait, were you ever doing,

when you were doing research, were were you like making picks and like, you were always just kind of doing like work? Yeah, no, at the hedge fund, the head PM, I had lied to get the job. I told them that I helped invest in my family's motel. And my dad at the time like was like a one fifth partner in like this podunk ass town motel. There dad at the time was a one-fifth partner in this podunk-ass town motel. There's a kernel of truth, bro.

Yeah. And that didn't do well at all. You should not have invested in that in the first place. But I lied and said that I helped evaluate the decision, all this kind of stuff. And so the head PM put me on covering Marriott, decision and all this kind of stuff. And so the head PM put me on covering Marriott, high hotels and like those hotel names.

Like from a hedge fund perspective, I'm like I don't know what the fuck I'm doing bro. You want me to build these models or like help the models and like pull data in and make predictions on what's gonna happen to revenue? Like within months it was like it all kind of unraveled. But the job was, at that time the job was like to help print research and aggregate reports and all this kind of stuff for the analysts and stuff.

With the research with the investment bank, it was just help PowerPoints, literally like bind books, help like adjust PowerPoints, find some information if they needed it, set up like rooms for pitches and all that. Yeah. At the family office. That's when I was like, okay, well, I think I could have some opportunity for growth here. It was like a six person shop.

I joined as a executive assistant to the CEO, but I was also just like, look, I think I, if I can do, if I can have a work-life balance where I can still go do comedy and stand up and open mics and all that stuff but you know help with actual like investment decisions and help like do that's the dream that's the best of both worlds yeah yeah even just from a point of view of like so many people at that point in their comedy career is like sleeping on couches and yeah can't food. It's like to have a regular life basically. Exactly. While you fund your, I kind of did that with

blogging and it was a lot easier to like do that because I was like, I could just do this forever. I hope it goes differently. But if this money keeps coming in and I keep like, we're all good. You know, there's nothing more freeing than having a day job. Yeah, in a weird way. If you're pursuing something else, like that like doesn't, if your day job doesn't fully consume your brain. It has to be like the perfect, you know, setup. But if you get that, I remember like, I respect anybody who will take their balls in their hand

and make that leap and like no safety net, I'm gonna go for it. Yeah. But like I kind of worked it so that I never had to do that. And I was like, I recommend that way. Yeah, it's a much better way. Yeah, for sure. The stars have to fucking align.

But if you do, it's like, this is great. That was, that was, it was like a dream role. Yeah. You know, in the sense that I was finally making like decent money, nothing crazy, but not executive assistant money, but not like, I wasn't like getting insane bonus or anything like that But I was like making decent money in that world at all. You're making yeah, you know, and so I was I

Was looking at investment decisions. I got to go to Africa a bunch of times. I went to Kenya twice I went to Ghana once or twice with the South Africa twice Till I kick the cans on potential investment decisions It was just me and like the CEO of a of a African startup, of a Kenyan startup, of a Nairobi like Instacart, you know, like all these kinds of random things that I got to do and see the world in that way. That's really, it was, it was dope. It was a lot. To be like a 26 year old in business class.

I remember being in, I went to Forum for my MBA and I was, but I did it right out of undergrad. So I was very young and I was showing up in like flip flops and fucking shorts, like dicking around and there were guys coming in, you know, family men. What? Looking like Michael Berry. Yeah. And they, you know, had not only were like just came off like their job for 10 hours and then this for three hours. And then we're going to go home to like three kids and a wife and all this shit. And I was like rolling. What's up, fellas? I still got a buzz on from last night.

I'll blame beer. But all this dumb shit. I mean, they used to shoot daggers at me. And it was like, I found it easy. It was like, I was in school mode. So like, I actually found grad school up for them to be easier than the undergrad. So I was like cruising through things and they were trying to get back into academic mode.

It was hard for them. And I was like, they fucking heard it. Yeah, of course. I'm in sweats. Yeah. Oh man, it was. Looking like a CIA guy on a base. Yeah. Like, I don't have to do any of your fucking shit, man.

I have graduated out of that. It was dope. But that ended, turns out, like making investment decisions for Africa from New York City is a very difficult thing to do. Yeah. And so once that, but that ended, I knew that was ending in July of 2015, and that was the same month I got rejected from Montreal for the festival for another time. That was the month that Chris Rock saw me at Matchless,

the show that I was running, that just started running when I got my first internship, I mean, internship, my first job at the hedge fund, that show at that point had become like one of the best shows in New York. Michael Che and Mike Denny and myself, we ran that show. And it was a massive show by that point, by like independent show standards.

Langston Kerman was coming performing and Chris was coming to see Langston and I was like, well, I'm going up. Sorry, buddy. Because Chris is going to leave after Langston goes up. So I'm going up before you. Sorry, brother. And I went up and I did well enough that Chris found me funny and that coincided with, A a the rejection from Montreal, but also My that family office that Africa job ending that job was ending within six months the family office I were closing down. This is not a money making venture for us. You guys find Africa too many times on business class Not like taking a Greyhound. And that ended like that ended in January of 2016, which is right when my my first writing

job by Chris was writing for the Oscars. Oh, and that was just like so that set got you like he was like, yeah, that's it. And picked you one set, maybe even one joke. I was right after Cecil Lyon I've been killed whatever and I was like I Remember pissing in the bathroom thinking about what can I say about Cecil line? I was like, why do we care about lines? Like I had four chickens today like no No one laughs except Chris Rock Yeah. That was the answer. And you know it. You know, you can see him in here. I was like, fuck all you.

Yeah. Like, yeah, you're wrong because he's laughing. And that was it. How did the show, when you say it got massive, how does that happen? So we started it, Mike Denny started it. Mike Denny was a comedian now, producer for Griselda, West Side Gun and Kind of the Machine. he was like a musical savant even then the path that is

You know the Pepto Bismol jingle. Oh, yeah. He wrote that jingle. No way and the legend has Legend has it that he was just in the The pitch room and they were like we need to turn nausea heartburn indigestion the pitch room and they were like we need to turn nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea into a jingle and he just put it to a beat like in his head and was like nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea and that was it. Bro that guy's probably going to pay his like grandkids college with that. No? I think he got like 50 grand as a take for that. Oh man that's one of those things you could cash that in forever if you had the right business. Yeah, and if you could pull up the original version of that jingle is like a hip hop version of that jingle. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so he started a comedy, I forget when, maybe like right around the same time I did, 2009, 2010, but Chay and I were at Knitting Factory one night, Hannibal's show, and Denny saw, Denny used to help produce, put flyers and all this kind of stuff up. And you and Che were just coming up at the same time? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Che and I started at the same time. He started three months, four months after me,

but we were at Knit one night, and we both did well, I guess, and Denny was like, I like you guys, you guys are great, you guys wanna start a show together, I have this room, and we were, Che and I was like, yeah, I mean, guys, you guys are great. Like, you guys wanna start a show together. I have this room, and we were chatting up. It was like, yeah, I mean, free stage time. Like, what's better than that? Like, it's important to have your own place where you can just fuck around constantly.

And Danny- What room was that? What's that? What was that? Well, Nitting Factor is where he saw us. But Danny found like this lounge underneath a place called The Sandbox, which is like this independent shipping center and the basement had been

converted to like an illegal, like speakeasy hangout kind of spot. But you had to like bring your own booze and you could just chill. And we're like, let's start a show there. And, um, Denny invited myself and Che to like be cohost slash like regular comedians on the show. And once that venue kind of like went, like was giving us too many problems more or less, then he found another spot called Matchless,

which is now gone, but it was a bar at Nassau and Driggs that had a back room, like a beautiful venue for independent comedy. It's like a rock venue with like the best food. But so at that point, people are just like, they like the three of you and they follow you. Yeah, so like, sorry, I'm getting long-winded response to your question.

It's just like, we just were very consistent. When we started, like five people would show up and four of them would be comedians, you know, like hoping to get stage time in front of the other comedians, that kind of thing. But eventually, because it was a free show, word spread and then Chase like, star rose within like two years of us having that show.

Like, 2011 I guess is a good time to estimate that we started that show. 2013 he did Letterman and a few months after that he was writing at SNL. And that kind of was like word of mouth about him having the show kind of spread. And I'm sure you could tie it to his Star Rising. And a large part was his Star Rising brought a lot of people to the show.

But also like we were there consistently every Monday at eight to nine o'clock. And whatever it is, it's just about doing it. We just did it. Keep doing it. when you're getting like Three views on your video fucking keep doing when there's two people in the audience keep doing we built it and they came It was literally that you know and in our heyday we were so many people give up like it's like the people even if it's not That good it's like but if you just keep going 90% are not gonna So you last man standing just kept going like there were shows that it was like

seven people there and we would I went up on we became a show where we started co-hosting and then Triple hosting and then like one person hosting and there was nights where it was like ten people and it was like the best fucking show Those ten people had the greatest time right? I remember one night. I think Che was closing it out and there was a guy sitting stage left who looked like like familiar but like kind of strange I go like a Like a strung out kind of dude and chase like anyone ever tell you look like Jesse camp It was Jesse camp the MTV VJ Hanging out at the show

Him and Jesse went up and like started bullshitting together It was it was that kind of show, you know, and that was on the night was like 10 15 people that is That's like the romantic side of like New York City comedy where I think about those things. It's like, and then this guy showed up and then that guy, like those are where those things start. Do you have a moment like when you sign this Netflix deal or whatever, like do you have a moment where you kind of take it all in where you're like, fuck like 2011 we were like performing a four. I wish I were more nostalgic.

And it's not even right now, but it's just like, uh, Oscars must've been a pretty good one. Right? That was, but by the time I got the Netflix deal, the Netflix offer, I was kind of like, what took you so long? When I got the, the, I remember the, I remember exactly where I was when I got the call that I was doing the Oscars. Um, that was writing for Chris for the Oscars. It was like, I was walking down 4th Avenue in Brooklyn

to my apartment and my phone rang as my manager at the time and she was like, I just got a call from Oscar, Albert, some guy, the EP of the Oscars. Chris Rock wants you to write for the Oscars. Like, the fuck is wrong? This is the wrong number. They got me mixed up with another Patel or something. And she was like, no, I'm serious.

They're gonna send the offer in very soon. It should be in your email in the next few hours. I'm like, what the fuck? If you're lucky enough to have it happen, because not everybody is, if you're lucky enough to ever be in over your head with like something good, in a good way, like I am not qualified for this or like it's too early for that. It's pretty fun to like try to stumble your way through it. Yeah. I remember I bolted home. I was already very close.

My wife's like cooking dinner or some shit or making food or whatever. And I come out open them like, guess what? I am writing for the Oscar. Chris Rock said I'm playing right. And that like like, a few days later was the New York Comedy Festival, Comedy Central after party. And myself, Michelle Wolf, who also got the job, and Langston Kerman were all there. And we all, like, saw each other.

And we had one of these like very clear. Remember thinking what a fucking moment for us. It was like, I remember there were moments where I'm like taking it all in like, and I'm trying to get better at appreciating everything that I've been able to do. Like my sister yelled at me cause I sent her a preview of the special and she was like, and she was like, this is amazing. I was like, yeah, onto the next one. And she called me.

She's like, you better fucking appreciate where you're at. Do you understand? Your name is on Netflix. It's good. It's a good, I actually think it's probably better to air on your side where it's like, don't rest on your laurels and just keep going. But there was something recently I texted you. Do you remember? I was like, I was like, I take this job for granted.

I remember that it was like, I was with this person at this place talking about this thing and I was just like, ah, it's just this day at work. And I was like, but I think I think that works. I think the three of us all have a similar mentality and I think like that is also good to be like, I think the three of us all have a similar mentality. And I think like that is also good to be like, I think we're, I think the three of us again are lucky to be surrounded by like extraordinarily successful people. So you're like, yeah, what I did is impressive. You're right.

But like my best friend's doing better. Yeah, exactly. And I'm happy for them and like their wins are my wins, but like, I'm, that's still my goal too. Right? Like, um, I still want to keep you going. A lot of it is just like, my expectations are so high for myself because A, who I am, but also I've seen my peers and my friends do incredible things. Right.

Right. That means I know the part of me feels like I can also do this. Yeah, totally. I'm also, I mean, I think there's kind of two different types of people. Like I don't ever really want to be the smartest person in the room, the funniest person in the room. Like I'd rather be surrounded by better. Yeah.

You know, and I feel like there's probably other people who would rather not. And like I want to be top dog, but I would always rather be like, I'm like the littlest guy here because you know, you're learning more. Yeah, I mean, there's I'm both like I want to be the top dog But also want to be like surrounded by other top dogs Get there though is I mean if you put yourself in a room with small dogs all the time You don't get much bigger, you know, but yeah a little healthy balance of like reminding yourself like yeah It's a it's a it's a hard thing to do because when I started comedy,

I already thought I was the top. I thought I'm on fucking shit. I'm the fucking guy. The world will humble you if that's how it is. You have good years and bad. The only thing that, going back to the old life, I mean I guess in finance you could have good years and bad years, but you have your job.

Whereas one year your special kills and then maybe the offers dry up, you're like, well this bad years. But you have your job. Whereas like, you know, one year your special kills and then maybe the offers dry up. You're like, well, this is a lot different, you know? Right. Yeah. It's it's you know, your life can vary big time. Yeah. Humility is a hard learned lesson that I've learned many times.

And that keeps me in check. Yeah. Oh, this is the greatest thing I've ever done. I had a question you had said you mentioned earlier, how like when you were getting going Russell was like the only guy yeah, right like he was he was the Indian comic Yeah, when you were coming up, did you ever have like a thought? Like is it my responsibility to explain the Indian American experience? Oh, just like I'm just gonna do me. I Never I actually cuz like he was a trailblazer

But I'd like there's still a lot of weeds hanging off. I like where you like doesn't mind to chip top down. Well, I mean, I I intentionally stayed away from talking about specifically Indian stuff for a variety of reasons. One, I didn't think it was that special to be an Indian guy. One, I didn't think it was that special to be an Indian guy. I grew up in Jersey. There's a couple billion of you. It's literally not. It's like, Newport, pneumonia. Yes, but that's exactly right.

I grew up in Jersey surrounded by many people like me. 16 first cousins within 20 minutes of me. Like, who gives a shit? I didn't have the perception to be like oh, this is this is a middle America But also I started in New York and I was seeing other people and I'm not a student Or historian of comedy like I didn't I would I didn't have a microphone in my hand when I was four I was I'm gonna be Eddie Merk knows knows it's like a something I kind of fell into so interesting

I when I started a comedy I was seeing people Do comedy that like a Chinese guy talking about you know having sex with a girl like it wasn't it wasn't I'm Chinese as well like that Chinese parents is what it like to be and I was like yeah Like there's more interesting things and my POV is not necessarily all Just Indian stuff and then I think subconsciously I had this feeling and I only articulated a few years ago was like literally everything I say is in

I mean, so like like like, what do you mean by that? What I mean is like. Like you fell into that because you weren't avoiding it. But then. No, no, no. I said that on stage, but like I had this feeling like why do I need to specifically talk about Indian experiences or Indian things?

Like, or have like this Indian guys POV about something. My point of view by default have this Indian guy's POV about something. My point of view by default is an Indian guy's point of view of something. And that kind of, that flipped the switch in my head in the sense of, well, yeah, I guess that's true, but there are also very uniquely Indian experiences that you guys wouldn't understand unless I kind of explained them to you.

And that is not necessarily responsibility. To me, it's like I'm also learning about this stuff for the first time ever. So if it requires me to, if I'm learning something, then I'll tell you about it. But if I'm not learning something, just making fun of something, then I don't feel any responsibility to tell you about it.

It's something, sorry, you don't get to know this shit or figure it out on your own. You know what I mean? Like, dude, that's honestly one of my favorite specials of the last five years or so was Ari's Jew. And I love that because I didn't know, I knew the, the cliff note to Judaism, but I didn't really know like what it meant to go to rabbi school and all that kind of shit. And I was like, Oh, this is fucking interesting. And he's making it really funny yeah Yeah, there's something to though like

Like I've seen like when Joe Coy will do something that's not even specifically like Asian. It's like Filipino You know I mean he's getting down to the nitty-gritty, and I don't know what the fuck he's talking about right but Watching the audience go nuts for it. Yeah, because it is such a shared experience I think is cool. Where it's like, I don't know what's going on, but I can tell that this hit the same way that if you made some like dumb Irish Catholic joke, you'd be like, yeah, that's how it is for us. So I, you know, it might be, I get what you're saying. And maybe, you know, in some ways, like it could be a crutch or hacky or something like that. But I think there's something cool about

that where it is like, I'm one of you. and like, especially if it's not as represented, like certain types of humor and certain ethnicities are like, everybody knows them, but when you get to like the shit that only us know, I think that's cool. But that's why Russell was such a instant hit with the people that watched that first special because he was, like, it was, you could tell, it was, I don't know if you've seen this first special that leaked on YouTube in 2004 or whatever, but if you haven't watched it and you're not an Indian person,

you're like, this is very funny just on its own, but as an Indian person and you watch it, I showed it to my parents. Yeah, it's like times 10. It's like, oh, you do it. You like that. You know? You know, it's like that.

And it's just a shared thing. That relatability is huge. You know, it's just a cool thing. But I never felt compelled to bring up specifically Indian things until I learned about them on my own. You know? Until I learned that there's so many fucking of you, and if you all watch my specials, you're going to hate it. That's what I'd be thinking. Also that. Also that, for sure. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, friends was this kid named Patel, Rohan Patel. Shout out Rohan. And I didn't know he was the only Indian kid.

My brother, the only Indian kids in my school. Where'd you go? I went to like a boarding school in Rhode Island. OK. He's he's from England, but he was Indian. And I just thought like, like I just started learning about how many Patels there are very recently. I was like, wait, I thought I knew the Patel. I didn't realize. I was like, where were we, man?

We run the FBI now. All right? All right? Don't forget. Don't forget what you say. Cash with a K, baby. That's goddamn right. There was, I just saw it for the first time.

I think it's something that happens every year. It goes viral is at graduations where there's Patels versus, was Patel's for the Indians and then like Lou for Asian people or something like that and it was like you know 30 I think I'm like 40 in my high school yeah I think I'm certain I had 40 in my high school it might have been 40 in my graduating class but it was some obscene number we were up there and that was early those 2004 when I graduated Forget it your own yearbook All right, man, we appreciate it bro, thanks for having me man. Thank you so much for having me again I'm going to be using a I'm gonna be a good boy, I'm gonna be a good boy Thanks for watching!