KFC Radio - Lisa Ann, Big Papi Shot, and Justin Bieber vs Tom Cruise

Episode Date: June 11, 2019

The legendary Lisa Ann (1:07:15) joins us to discuss her porn career, her fantasy sports show, and rank the big dick energy in the Barstool office. Canceling passwords and multi-texters. The porn AP poll. David Ortiz getting shot in the Dominican Republic. Bieber "challenges" Tom Cruise to a fight. Voicemails include: can't finish inside, my hot roommate, entrapment.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio presented by Postmates, brought to you by SeatGeek. The summer is here. This week we got Subway Series. If you want to go see the Yankees and Mets play, you want to go see them in Citi Field next time they play. You want to go catch the Red Sox. You want to go see your favorite baseball team.

We got Barstool at the ballpark this saturday stanley cup game seven you could perhaps go watch that if you were interested in such things you want to go see your favorite band this summer your favorite comedian we've had a ton on kfc radio all them touring all over the country live this summer you can catch them and anything else that's live entertainment when you use SeatGeek. It's the best app to buy and sell tickets on the secondary market. It has everything available in one easy place. You find the event. You find your seat.

You click purchase. That's it. Click here to prove you're not a robot and show me which of these have fucking boats in it, street signs in it. You just get your tickets nice and easy with a 100% guarantee, no fraudulent tickets, and everything is at the best price available because full price transparency. Right now, if you use the promo code KFC, you get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase. So download the free SeatGeek app, go to settings, click add a promo code, enter KFC, and get $10 off your purchase.

I'm Skyping into the studio. I'm up north of the wall in Westchester. We got helicopters crashing into buildings. We got people getting shot. We got Game 7s. We got porn stars. We got a lot cooking here, John. A lot going on.

It's chaos. Chaos today. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I guess I would have it any other way in some situations, such as David Ortiz. But most of the ways, I wouldn't have it any other way. I like chaos. I thrive in chaos. Dude, what a fucking night for you guys, the highs and lows of Boston sports. Now, at this point, when you've won 35 fucking championships,

it takes a lot to get the juice flowing. But all in one night, an elimination game staved off. Big poppy shot. Reports rolling in. We're reading tweets in Spanish all sorts of shit going on Justin Bieber challenging Tom Cruise to fight oh my god I didn't even think about it

we're gonna do a whole fucking segment on it because it is the stupidest fucking hypothetical I've ever encountered in my whole goddamn career I can't believe anybody was on any other side than the side I'm on we will talk about that at length but Big Pap poppy scary for a moment i mean when you hear in the back and out the abdomen in my mind it's a wrap see but we

didn't even like that wasn't heard initially i so first of all i i was lucky enough it was funny they were almost protecting us the people who weren't on the because we're 45 seconds behind on the live stream let's share so none of us are going on twitter during the game so none of us in the electric chair knew and then there was there was a little whisper kind of carrying through like a country wind through the office and it was it was just like i could see people kind of huddling around there's no more vulnerable state than when you were on an electric chair and you don't have access to your phone and you're behind the rest of the world you just feel like you're a fucking monkey at the zoo and everyone's staring at you and they know something that you don't know and you feel like a total fucking asshole and that's usually when they know about like a home run that's happened

not when someone's been fucking shot it's it last night was the first live show in the new office so a lot of kinks to work out for instance pete just puts the camera in front of the tvs and you can't like that's why we were standing the whole game because we like when you're sitting your mind wants to watch the tv in front of you so your eyes keep going to that but there are just three cameras you can't try to like look around cameras so when we stood up we would stare at the other tvs um but yeah that shot you and dave fucking standing there like bouncers was hilarious it was so funny. Someone was like, where do I get those forums? I was like, I don't know.

Where do I get those forums? Cause we're both popping right now. Um, but the, uh, if you, if you want to see, I can, I'll show you a little forearm here. Barstoolgold.com slash KFC. She's popping again, I think. Yeah. Little gun show, little gun show on Barstool Gold. But the – so, yeah, so we saw everyone kind of whispering,

and I think in between periods I was like, what's everyone talking about? What's going on? Like I saw Chuck go around everything, like through the back of the office to get over to Dana, who was to our left, and he whispered to Dana, and then Dana kind of made a face at Hank, and then Hank whispered to PFTft and i was like i was like guys what what it was right in the middle of like towards the end of the second period it was like there was like a four minute stretch where it was like a three on three overtime where it's just like rush rush rush rush so like while that's going on it's just like i'm trying to figure out what's that what's happening there so it was panic city and then but by the time i found out about the actual shot it was the reports were out that it was shot in the leg so i kind of exhaled which i

know is i mean there are a few people you ever hear of dying from a gunshot went to the leg sean taylor is one of them aside from that i don't know for saving private ryan or no blackhawk down i think someone caught their femoral artery but it's a rare thing and uh so it's kind of like breathe will be okay and then the game came back on and I kind of put that out of my mind. Because I'm like – it's weird. Depending on how your personality works, my personality is either exactly what you need in a stressful situation or the exact opposite of what you need.

Because I just don't acknowledge it. I just keep being an asshole and fucking around. And it's just – I'm not going to be like, yo, we're here for you. You get a healthy dose of normalcy from John. You want to get back to fucking – get back to basics? Go to John. Right. If you're someone who wants to sulk and be worried and stuff like that,

then I'm not going to – you're not going to enjoy me being around you. But I'm good at compartmentalizing. So I was like, all right, Bruins. We'll deal with the Bruins and then we'll deal with poppy we'll get we'll get to game seven and then we'll they'll i i said it was like it's like what happens when you go into surgery when you like like it's probably what was happening to david ortiz at the same time where it's like okay we gotta stop the bleeding and then we'll fix the other stuff and it's like okay i gotta solve game six and then i can handle everything else except what we're talking about is two things that you literally have zero control for absolutely but no but i gotta say like i'm a surgeon yeah

exactly yeah yeah yeah i have no control but like look i can all my attention has to be on this right now the other one will we'll cross that bridge when we get to it but we gotta we gotta we gotta take out this target first right now the target st Louis Blues. We'll get to that Dominican scumbag after. That being the shooter, not Poppy. So it was a wild night. It was crazy. And in between periods, while we're finding out about Poppy, we're also screaming and yelling about Bieber and Tom Cruise. It was a whole thing.

But it was a wild night. There's really never a dull night in boston sports and uh last night was yet another example i mean i mean my guy to garask is standing on his goddamn motherfucking head meanwhile my other hero is is laid up in a hospital bed it's it's a real yin yang thing we had going on i i mean i know what you're saying it's never a dull moment with boston sports but that was particularly fucking amped. Like I would have collapsed at the end of that night. I don't know. I mean,

that's a lot to handle. Fucking playoff hockey, people almost dying, idiots saying that Justin Bieber could beat up Tom Cruise. I woke up, I woke up so fucking hungover. I didn't have a drop of alcohol. Just woke up so fucking hungover from everything else that was going on.

It was just like, I woke up this morning, laid in bed. I was like, God, what did i do last night i was like oh yeah i didn't drink anything at all i didn't have a sip alcohol all weekend i just had a stressful evening i uh i mean these these are the things that i i would kill for i want my sports teams to be like at the forefront of everything good and bad but i mean I don't think I can handle it, John. I don't think I could, man. Well, it's actually perfectly in line with what happens.

You know how they say, you know, experience matters a lot. And it's when you've been there versus when you haven't. And that's what experience is, in case you didn't know. But it's just like you always think it versus when you haven't. And that's, that's what experience is in case you didn't know. Um, and, uh, but it's just like, you always think it's just a hockey game.

It's just a regular night. It's never just that. And that's where everybody involved. And the, what I'm connecting this to is the St. Louis post dispatch, which is like, like that,

like Boston, Boston news organizations are not going to make that mistake because they've been through it. Fans know what the top, what, what through it. Fans know what it takes. Everyone knows what it takes when you've been there. It was when we were talking to Phil Maroon, and he was on radio when we were in St. Louis. And he's like, dude, they lost game three because the media was making them do stuff and they had to do interviews. And it's like, yeah, our course, this is our third time. You know what they're saying they were like super bowl week it's not a football game

you have a lot of other shit to deal with and when you've been there you you learn how to deal with it so that's kind of how we dealt with everything last night compartmentalized deal with this and the st louis post-dispatch is just up schitt's creek without a paddle they don't know what the fuck to do out in st louis dude let's say i think i think their response made it worse way worse way worse so let's say you're the the chief editor of the st louis their their response by the way was they they tweeted that they just wanted their readers to have a sneak peek of what it could look like that's so bad so bad what would you have said would you have said anything uh it will die we

actually kind of talked about this on radio where it's it's how uh traditional media is hamstrung because if it was barstool and we did that i would have been like fuck yeah we leaked that because we're winning the championship and that's what it's gonna look like at st louis you're a bunch of fucking scumbags and i want you to see it first i want you to see the bullet that's coming for your head i want you to i want you to know what you're going to see when you die this is it but the st louis post dispatch can't do that you kind of have to just be like whoops i don't know what to do they don't have like the the ability to just kind of go off script like we do we can just if something accidental happened i would just yeah you go full heel with it but yeah that that's right. Fuck you.

But I don't know. I mean from the superstitious point of view, the people who are going to get mad if they don't win, like that's what happened. I think I would have just said not a fucking word. I would have just been like, I don't know what you're talking about, man. Never saw it. Just take it down, change the website, and just be like, I don't know. For the few people, those are photoshopped or something. I don't know. I ain few people those are photoshopped or something, I don't know.

I ain't talking about it at fucking all. And then when the same exact thing were to run, if they were to win, I'd be like, well, I don't know what a coincidence. Fuck you guys. That is a nightmare, man, only strictly because of the superstition of it all. Like you don't touch the money. You don't talk about it ahead of time. You don't count your chickens.

They ran a whole fucking websites work man that is that is that's a team that's never been in the fucking stanley cup yeah you know it takes a city takes a village it takes everybody it's not it's not yeah the team on the ice has to be good aside from that everyone's got to be on their a game and last night st louis was not and i don't think that guarantees a game seven win. I think if the Bruins and Blues played a thousand times, I think it ends up looking like UNC-Duke. If these two teams win a thousand times, I think it's like one team has one more win. Their goals against average is the same. Their save percentage is two points off.

I think everything top to bottom, tail to tape, would be almost identical. I think these two teams are very evenly matched. I think the Bruins take game seven because they are dominant in elimination games. Tuca is dominant. Tuca and the first line when their backs are against the wall or your back is against the wall, they either get out when it's their back and they fucking slit your throat when it's yours. Speaking of it takes a village and slitting throats is a homeboy in the dr still alive poppy poppy's no poppy's good poppy is the guy the other guy we keep mixing

that up the fucking shooter yeah yeah uh i don't i don't know what i hear he's a cop yeah that's that's good one one report i saw you know it's maybe it's true. Maybe it's not. I don't know. I have seen one report from the Daily Mail, which is no doubt there are no doubt purveyors of gossip and rumors. But they did report that David Ortiz was allegedly sleeping with a drug lord's wife and that drug lord hired two police officers. I feel like you'd use your soldier if you were a drug lord, like and that drug lord hired two police officers i feel like you'd use your soldier if you were a drug lord like use one of your soldiers why would you have outside help um but hired uh two off-duty cops to shoot poppy um again i do not know the validity of that it was it's rupert murdoch's daily mail they are yeah they're they're usually usually they're i think

they're a step above or below The National Enquirer, I don't know which one you want to put it But they're They're usually like pros in this field You know what I mean? Yeah, this is the mud they muck around in Right, I mean It's like the storyline out of fucking Barry

Hiring Barry to Whack the dude who's banging your wife But I mean, if David Ort ortiz wants to have sex with your wife in the dominican republic i feel like that just happens he he's a god oh yeah i mean like i think you should be honored and i understand you're a drug lord and you got your own your own you know clout to keep up and so that's not a good look but i think if anyone was ever like ah yo your wife's cheating on you and it was like well it's with david ortiz and be like all right you're cool yeah i mean in the dominican republic

i said i put it in the blog last night that i said that shooting david ortiz in the dominican republic is as stupid as shooting god in heaven it's it's well and you know what that's why i think he's not dead i i mean here's a hot take for you i feel bad for the dude the gunman because i think because when a drug lord taps you on the shoulder to carry out a hit it's that's what you have to do it's not like this guy was like i can't wait to go shoot david ortiz it was like hey buddy you owe me a favor go kill this guy and when you roll up on him and it's the moment of truth and you don't just shoot him in the head you shoot him somewhere in the back in the stomach or whatever i think it's probably because you're like i don't want to fucking kill david ortiz but i don't want to fucking die that's that's fair that's actually not a bad point because because

he did like i mean he could have walked up david ortiz put the muzzle to his head over yeah it would have been very easy for that it was they at no point was there an exclamation made or anything like that it was just he stopped 10 feet away and pulled out his gun pulled the trigger and just i mean he missed missed bad low and outside yeah real bad and then you see that video of him sitting in the in like the alleyway holding his head just getting kicked just probably used like a fucking piñata yeah man he was all i mean he was covered in blood like the kicks were so funny because they were so casual just like legs just flicking out like just bam all right pass him back bam i mean it sucks because you know david ortiz is from the dominican republic

loves the dominican republic he, got family and houses. He's probably a god down there. But you can't go back. I mean, he's built like churches and hospitals there. I think he built the children's hospital. That's what I mean. He's like as beloved as Pedro is down there. There's so many famous Dominican baseball players.

They all pale in comparison to David Ortiz. David Ortiz is beloved in Boston. It's not even close to what he's like that he's a legitimate god there and yeah and that's i think that's probably why he goes out and doesn't even need security or anything like that because he's like who the fuck is going to touch me in my kingdom and apparently this crazy motherfucker is dude yeah i mean that that has to be the case because you gotta be one ballsy dude to bang the wife of a drug lord. You gotta really feel like you are a made fucking

man if that's the case. How bad do that suck? Like, again, let's assume it's true. I don't know. I have no idea. Just going off a single report. Let's assume it's true. You wake up out of surgery. Are you like, son of a bitch? I'm alive.

This fucking sucks. Like, you already, like, you wake up and you hear, like, the front page of the paper is, like, you know, Pablo's, Poppy's sleeping with, like, Pablo's wife. And you're like like son of a bitch why he's like he goes all thanos you should have gone for the head what are you doing shooting me in the fucking kidney i got two of those bro come on he was like can you imagine the dread like oh my god once this fucking morphine wears off, I have to have a conversation with my wife. This is going to really suck.

When the Chilean miners were trapped underground and the guy had his mistress and his wife upstairs waiting for him. Oh, I don't remember that. I mean, you remember the Chilean miners, right? Yeah, no doubt. Yeah. One guy had his side piece and his wife both fighting like above air above ground waiting for him to show up i would have been like god i'm saying you guys go you rescued 39 out of 40 i'm just gonna stay here because my fate is much worse up there bro and trust poor jorge galileos

that's really one of them i know one of the chilean miners names that was actually a real name huh jorge galileos yeah all right let's get into the other the other ridiculousness of the night uh i'm gonna call the dumbest hypothetical of all time is presented by delivered by hang on by the way also lisa ann's on this podcast oh yeah yeah uh sometimes i forget to do that sometimes i forget to tease monumental fucking interviews that we have the real lisa and the goddamn legend the the milf of all milfs the porn star of all porn stars is on this podcast we talk about it all we have a uh big dick energy uh auction almost if you will where she is did you do us

she never did i because you know Actually, it's funny you say that. So in this in so with the five, the five, the sample I brought in. And then I did kind of think it'd be funny if she did us. Right. But I don't think you can ask that question. What do you mean? Like, I think if I was like, do me, Lisa, like, do me. Do I have big together? Yeah.

Asking it is the epitome of not having it exactly like like a it's either a oh my god i didn't even i don't even care i didn't even think about what lisa ann thinks about me or b i got it like that so i don't even need to ask that's what went through my head that's big sense that's logical but then you go another step further even worrying about it like that inside your head is little dick energy i should have just been like yo do us so you can go circular with this thing over and over and over again but uh maybe we can get an answer and i have a feeling that by the way what do you what do you think like how much do you think she jumped or will jump tonight i don't even know where she ranks right now on Pornhub. Like, where do you think her rankings jump? Because Pornhub is such a pornography is such an instinct based activity where like, like, I'll go to Pornhub being like, I want to go look at this porn star.

And I get to the front page and there's like just one other porn star who I've seen before. I'm like, fuck it, it's her. So like when Lisa Ann's discussed when she's around the office when people are talking about her, I'll be honest, I hadn't watched Lisa Ann in a hot minute. I might have only exclusively watched Lisa Ann since she came in this office. Yeah, I mean it's almost like at that point,

especially if you're the one doing the interview. If you're, you know, if you actually interact with them, in your mind that's like seeing a real life sex tape now. It goes from you're watching porn to like, oh, that was my buddy I was talking to yesterday that I get to watch. Fuck. That is a whole different genre. And I think the people listening to our podcast always feel like they're like part of the action.

I would imagine she's going to absolutely fucking skyrocket. Especially porn. So they're always like up on the trends and they always look at like how much things change and what the like movements are on porn. She is – I hope. I sincerely hope. Although to be honest, I feel like she hasn't even like fallen off. I bet her ranking is still pretty fucking high. Yeah, she's 14 right now.

Yeah, I mean – You can't really jump much. Like 97 up to 14 but if we can even move her a couple spots when you're talking top 15 that's uh dude that's crazy by the way people are still out here i bet it porn's weird i think it's it's so it lasts so long like i bet mia khalifa is still top 10. Ugh. Right. She's number two. Two? Two. Okay.

See, that's, you know. I know due to last night's perusing, I know that Lana Rhodes is still number one. But, yeah, I feel like you don't pull it. I wonder what Asa is. I feel like Asa is higher. I think she's top 10. I don't think so. I wonder what Asa is. I feel like Asa is higher. I think she's top 10. I don't think so. Oh, you meant higher like the other way.

Yeah, yeah. 32. Still pretty fucking high. I mean, she's still like, you know, the fact that she's basically retired and still doing that is fucking crazy. You know what you need? You know how, well well at least in the past there was like the ap poll and then like the college football like there's two different sets of rankings yeah yeah yeah he'd like the uh whatever like the algorithm is spitting out based on like popularity and shit and then you need like perverts like us to make a voter's choice

yeah we should talk to aria we should have like we should be on the vote imagine that we get a porn top 10 vote that goes out weekly with porn I mean that's gotta happen even if she can't make that happen we should just do that on Aria

alright let's do this let's get to this fight nonsense tonight's today's stupid hypothetical is delivered by postmates the number one way to get to get uh food booze and groceries delivered to your door i had uh my streak is finally broken by the way way. I had Richard deliver me food. That was after. Ready for this name? This is just a collection of letters. Joy Arab. J-O-I-A-R-I-B.

That's not a real name. That's wild. That's not a fucking real name. So I got a whole collection. I mean, I got a fucking army look at this look at this scroll here john these are just all my goddamn deliveries you reply to one of those oh yeah sometimes i say like let's fucking go yeah uh so i got richard who hooked me up this weekend i delivered some wine when i was in a little bit

of a pinch you got uh you got the best way to – like 25,000 different merchants underneath their umbrellas. So pretty much anything you can think of in your area to get delivered, they're going to deliver it to you within the hour, 24-7, 365. And when you use the promo code KFC, you don't have to pay a single penny for delivery. The next seven days, you get $100 of delivery credit, which pretty much is going to be every one of your deliveries for at least a week over on Postmates. So download the Postmates app, use promo code KFC for $100 in free delivery charge. John, we've been doing this for a decade now. Dumb hypotheticals on the blog, stupid hypotheticals on the podcast. Justin Bieber versus Tom Cruise is not only so out of left field, but so patently ridiculous. I think it's beneath us. I'm going to say that. I wholeheartedly agree.

I mean, I could I was stunned, first of all, by the way, when I hopped on the Internet, the first thing I saw was your tweet just saying, just throwing it out there. You said like little little little, uh, little intermission, like hypothetical talk. Right. And I thought you guys had just popped up in the office for some reason. I didn't realize that Justin Bieber had issued a formal fucking, uh, uh, fight challenge. Well, what we think that is, is,

is kind of like next level promo for celebrity death match. Has to be right. Something's got to be going. Yeah. Cause he's like, who would put this on who would even do this yeah mtv on celebrity deathmatch because it is coming back i knew that interesting that that i mean there has to be some reason behind it uh i bet you they even made him misspell your on purpose but when that happened when i saw that this was like an actual thing the internet was doing, I was actually upset we were going to have to engage in this

because I think it is patently ridiculous. I think it's beneath it as well. Do you know that Odd Shark or someone has put odds out and Bieber is the favorite? I mean, I would put my absolute, every single penny I have on Tom Cruise. I said the same thing on radio. I said I would put every single penny I have on Tom Cruise. I said the same thing on radio. I said I would put my – I would put every single cent I have on Tom Cruise.

I'd put it all on Tom Cruise in the first round. I wouldn't even – it wouldn't even be a fight. Under 10 seconds. He's going to put you in some sort of fucking hole, break your neck, or fucking step on your throat like that, dude. Dave was like – well, Bieber, like I've seen him. He's pretty athletic. I'm like Tom Cruise literally trains with fighters all he has been doing so for 30 years like he's just

been training with navy seals on film sets for like 30 years like bro you've seen bieber play basketball a little bit you've seen him try and skateboard you've seen him try and play hockey with fucking mites like that's not athletic that's just a human being it's there's nothing athletic about that even if you're fucking awesome at skateboarding and basketball it doesn't mean you can fight right tom cruise trains with either the trained action hero right like i know he's not actually fighting guys but you're still like doing that you're still engaging in what feels like a fight and you're used to like hands and feet coming at you you're used to contact you're used to all sorts of shit even just when you watch tom cruise run in a straight dead like a dead straightaway in uh in mission impossible just

yeah yeah like that right there that guy's a fucking maniac not to mention all the scientology background not to mention he's probably got some like the access to the best drugs and all sorts of shit in the world i don't he could be he could be 156 i don't care how old he is people like oh he's 31 years older i don't give up i don't give a fuck smoke that little boy smoke him my dad's 23 years older than me beat the fucking shit out of me body you right like just fucking destroy me tom cruise versus mr vitalberg now that that's a fight that's a fight i i've dude i i told you like i've been like boxing just with my dad before and like when he is hitting the heavy bag i'm just like jesus christ dude thank god you didn't hit me like i was like the only reason i'm alive as a 30 year old because my dad didn't beat me

like i mean he would he would have had to hit me once. I had to be fucking – Get your fucking head off. Done. Done. And so it's like honestly, we both are in agreement because we're both smart people. It's like it's a stupid debate. You know how stupid it is?

I guess I don't understand. There might be some Vegas thing, but I don't understand odds. I'm not a gambler. So maybe like you start him as the favorite to get votes in yeah but yeah but like uh fucking what was gonna say like the twitter poll was like 84 percent cruise so like okay twitter polls are 50 50 no matter what so if something's 84 16 it's very clear that's like just justin bieber his friends voted for that right right and i'll tell you what it's stupid but it's it's just so disrespectful to tom cruise i'm like logan paul chimed in you see that oh well if i saw i forget what he said what he said

well like he's it's almost making tom cruise look like a charity case he was like yo bieber like why are you challenging an old man to a fight? I'll step up. He'll beat the fuck out of both of you at the same fucking time, Logan Paul. This is Tom goddamn Cruise. He's been a fucking top gun. He's been in Mission Impossible about 160,000 times. He runs a fucking cult, and he's like the richest man

alive, and he's done it all at 5'4". That actually helps him. In this case, the fact that he's short helps him because that's how fucking crazy he is. Bieber's like, he's short helps him because that's how fucking crazy people like he's short yes beaver's not big no beaver's two beaver has two inches on him and he and he's just frail he's like he's so soft he's hollywood soft he's been singing with a lesbian haircut for fucking since he was like 12 he hasn't had a hard life right he's had a bodyguard for as long as he's been alive essentially do you remember that video where he like crosses someone up and hits like a jumper on like an eight foot hoop and then

he mean mugs the camera he like walks by and he's like yeah that's right you watch that one video and tell me that guy's gonna beat up anybody in a fight let alone someone who's been trained to be an action hero for 30 fucking years dude i tom cruise would beat the fuck out of me, and I would rip Justin Bieber's head off. Ooh, I would like to see that. You want to issue a formal fight? I feel like everyone's been doing it now. I don't want to piggyback. I just want to state facts. Tom Cruise

would kill me. I would kill Justin Bieber. I just think that Feidelberg, Bieber, Ruffin, Rowdy would have some juice to it. Remember when YP almost fought Diplo, Ruffin Rowdy? As like friends. Yeah, as friends. They both wanted to get in the mix.

We just didn't have time. Diplo was like, fuck yeah, man. I'd love to go fight. I'm down. Dude, Diplo's girl, whoever she was there, she was the greatest thing I've ever met in my whole life. It's just so awesome when you're on that level. She was so hot.

She was like the coolest chick I've ever met, man. Good on Diplo. Very good. As he very good drinking natty lights strawberry like bud strawberry beer natty lights you are man dude uh i believe we have some cancels in order oh yeah get your fucking cancel on uh today's cancels are brought to you by Fleischman Salon. Our girl is back in the mix. She's on Big Brain. What up, E? What up, E?

I think she canceled me. There's no more disrespectful or embarrassing text than the Fleischman, you need to come get a haircut text because it just basically means you look like shit. Like the whole, she just texted me next week. It's time to come in. And I'm just the whole time I'm looking at my hair. I'm like, oh fuck. That means I've looked like a piece of shit on camera because she's a pit bull, man. You know, she just sits around looking at our pictures and our videos, just judging

and grooming like, nope, you look like a fucking moron. Get in here. She texted me the other day. You want to know what that one said? What? Your hair's on another level. And I was like was like yo it's all the gummies girl been smashing the gummies get that it is it is true though the gummies do help so if you're if you want to get that flow going like john i mean i'll be honest i'll take the other side your shit's out of control you got it's too much it's too much no you got to get in there and at least get it like shaped up dude no because now it's just like you're a lion

yeah that's awesome you got like a lion's mane yeah yeah the king of the jungle sure i'll take that like fight over go to fleischman and be like give me the king of the jungle i want that jungle look but she's going to tell you the only way you could do that is to give like eight weeks of growth and the only way you're gonna get your hair to grow is to take the fleischman gummies these are uh i mean they're fruit snacks i'll tell you what can i give you the number one problem with the fleischman gummies too good they taste you know you know what you know what he did for me last time i was there he's just the best she gave me two jars of gummies but they eat one no she gave me she gave me two jars of gummies. One to eat, one to drink. No, she gave me one jar of gummies and then two extra jars that were just one filled with Sour Patch Kids, one filled with Swedish Fish.

Because she knew I was – I hammered through the other one in like two weeks. The month's worth, I hammered through in like two weeks. No, two months' worth, I think. I forget. Whatever it is, I hammered it in half the time. You're supposed to eat them, you know, one a day. And it's it's like well these are delicious hank once had a whole bottle in one sitting yeah big at big brain when erica and her husband were there to present hank was there all day long said he needed some snacks and he ate a whole jar of hair vitamins he was like he was like nervous he was like what happens if you get like 45,000 percent of your daily value in once?

So that's what these gummies are, dude. They are delicious and they help your hair grow. They help the hair that you do have grow in thicker. And that way, once your hair is on point, you can head in. If you're in the New York City area, you can get your hair cut by Fleischman personally at her salons. But even if you're not in the New York area, a lot of people are always like, yo, is she in any other cities? They're like, I'm a stoolie from Boston, Philly, Chicago. Anything I can do, we can go to their website now and get the gummies.

It has nothing to do with their salons. They just have their own online storefront at this point for hair-related products. So go to Fleischmansalon.com. Use the promo code KFC. And I think they're doing 20 off i gotta check my email um but uh start growing out your hair start getting that that that uh subscription where you get a mail to you every month and start eating those gummies baby fleischman salon you can lookon. You can look like the bloggers. Look, John. It's a nice thing to say now.

Didn't used to be. We're really changing the game. Thanks to Erica and the gummies. Changing the game on the fly. Bloggers used to be just fat guys in a basement, bald. Now we're kings of the jungle. Oh, God. Wait, do that again.

Do that one more time. Rawr. jungle oh god wait do that again do that one more time yo the flyship has their their uh their logo is like the moose antlers they might need to change it to a fucking lion the blogger life is is one that is it's one extreme or the other because people either look at pictures and go oh the barstool grind that has not been not been kind to you at all or it's like yo you glue you got a glow up man look what you used to look like and it all depends on what picture was taken and what was going on at the time but sometimes i look awesome in 2010 sometimes i look like a bag of shit in 2019.

It's just, you never fucking know, man. It's all up and down. It's a wild rollercoaster of this life we live. FleischmannSalon.com. Get your gummies. Cancels. Let's hear them, Johnny. Two big cancels.

Two things I'm really fucking sick of. Really, really, really sick of. Cancel number one. fucking sick of really, really, really sick of cancel. Number one, websites that when you try and log in, they don't tell you if they're one of those fucking websites that make you use a capital letter and a character. Like it should have like, be like,

it should say like, no, put an exclamation point on your usual password that like, I gotta know, you know what I mean? When they're like, they didn't. So, so, so like you've made your password and then it just, put an exclamation point on your usual password that like i gotta know you know what i mean when they're like they didn't so so so like you've made your password and then it just should say hey we're one of those hard password websites right exactly they're like ah okay so that is

like i mean all i do is add an exclamation point when i have to have a character in there just an exclamation point added so tell me be like yo we're we're one of those advanced password websites because otherwise i'll like i do it and it's just like – well, I mean these are the only three passwords I use. It's one of these three fucking passwords unless you're one of the tough ones. I'm going to take it a step further. I'm just going to cancel those websites completely because I don't even want to sign up for you because I don't want to have a hard password at all. It would be the other day just like trying to log into into a store just like just like log out the checkout and it was just like i tried like 10 different passwords had to start a new one because i'm trying like you know like again i only have three passwords it's just all variations

so it's like all right start with a capital letter nope that didn't work lowercase letter nope that didn't like okay try the second number combination nope that didn't work capital letter and it's a whole thing just tell me i forgot the exclamation point at the end that's all that's all anyone does i'm pretty sure nike like nike involves a capital and an exclamation point or a number like i'm just buying sneakers here we don't need to protect like the government's fucking secrets and passwords in general the guy who invented passwords the guy who invented like you had to do all the crazy shit with it has said I was wrong. He's like, I fucked up. That's unnecessary.

Let's stop doing that. Just let me have like you can call my password weak, whatever. I don't give a shit. Let me have a one word. Let my password be my fucking name. John Henry. Bring back the days when my password was password. OK, let me let my passcode be one, two, three, four, five.

It's buyer beware. If my shit gets hacked then so be it if my shit gets hacked and i need to tell people if i need to go to it and be like oh guys my password is password then like i have to deal with that shame what do you fucking care you don't get to decide these things i do and by the way another thing when you currently sign up and they give you an automated password have you had that happen yet where it says use this password no and it's they auto generate one and it makes you click and it usually says something like no i'd like a weaker password so it's trying to shame you into making your own password but it's outrageous it's like 55 characters long where even if i

wanted to fucking keep that one how in mother of god fucking name would I be able to actually use that password ever again you think I'm gonna sit there and write like it had all the sorts of characters ampersand and shit I'm not gonna write any of that fucking down my password is gonna be that same word with a couple numbers that I've been using for 15 fucking years fuck you the guy the the headline is from the Wall Street Journal the man who invented those annoying password rules now regrets wasting your time. You fucked up. Stop doing it.

Stop doing it. Just erase passwords now. Goddamn. Second cancel. Okay, good. Go ahead. All right, second cancel. And Kevin, I regret to inform you, you are a violator in this.

Oh, boy. You're canceling me? You get two texts back to back. That's oh no no that's it put it all in one text i don't need i don't need a shit little one line text one at one point the other night Kevin you sent me 8 text messages in a row all one line it was crazy I was just trying to watch TV my phone in my pocket buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz

buzz buzz you could not be more wrong there is nothing worse than getting a gigantic paragraph of a text message. Yeah. I sit and I just let it fly. I'll be like, yo, John, so tomorrow we have to go to the studio to interview that guy.

And I'll just sit like 12 in a row because, John, especially you of all people, of all people, if you get any sort of block text message, there is a zero percent chance you are going to read that. No, but don't send block text either. Texts don't need to be long. Just a fucking quick word. You get two. It's like text to like a sneeze. You know, a chew. God bless you.

A chew. God bless you. A chew. OK, you're laying on a little thick now. That's that's what text messages are too. ...way I will even consider changing my ways here. That is

the worst I've ever... No way. No. No way. Okay, fine. Did he do a lesson? I'm going to stop replying to those at all. You don't reply to any of my texts anyway. You're lying that it's even buzzing because I know we're on do not disturb. No, you're not. You're not.

That's the problem. You're fucking. I'll tell you what. You're on the highway to it. The people who worry about double texting and that shit. Go fuck yourself. You're going to get my thoughts as they come in real time. And if you don't like it, I don't give a.

Unsubscribe. Fine. Lose my number fuck you no way dude i've i've i've thought about this before because i do know that i do it and the only thing worse than that is getting a big block of blue where you gotta scroll it looks i mean like we kind of this one of my first cancels i think was texting in general uh i've allowed i've allowed you back into my life a little bit but we gotta draw a line somewhere here and i it happened to me last night too where like i had buddies texting

me and i had like one buddy texting me like 50 times just after the bruins game i was like trying to write blogs dude i don't need my phone going off a million fucking times get your thoughts out in one text and make your thoughts short enough where it's not a huge block you're not saying anything that interesting people in the world you need huge block. You're not saying anything that interesting. People in the world, you need to hear this. You're not saying anything all that interesting. You're not very interesting. Just fucking whittle your thoughts down to a couple of words.

I'll get the gist. I promise. The thought that you think you are important enough to be handing these things out is just so ridiculous. It has been said. Canceled. Canceled, canceled, canceled. Next segment. Let's get into these voicemails.

They are brought to you by Dave.com. Dave.com. Now, this is perfect for the Barstool gang. Dave.com. When you think of the name Dave, do you think of maintaining a budget john no i do not this is how you're gonna you guys might have this website with portnoy in mind and said let's name this the most uh like counterintuitive thing we could possibly think of dave.com it's the number one budgeting app in America. So when you think of Dave and you think of him on private jets and blowing money on Italian clothes and all the other stupid, all the gambling, all the stupid shit he spends money on,

he doesn't budget at all. So Dave.com is here to save people like Dave. It's the number one budgeting app in America because it saves you from overdraft fees. It tells you about upcoming bills and you can advance $75 from your next paycheck with no credit check and no interest. So they're going to give you a little bit of money ahead of time. They're going to let you know, hey, reminder, you're about to get butt-fucked by that bill that's coming up that you haven't thought about at all. So, hey, when you're going to go out this weekend and blow a bunch of money at the bar, just know that come Monday you're going to have to pay that plus your bill that you always forget about. And they're going to let you, uh, they're going to protect you from

things like overdraft fees. Like, Hey idiot, you don't get paid this week, get paid next week. And you're already overdrawing your account. So we're going to let you know now that you don't get hit by it. So, uh, Mark Cuban is an investor in it. And he's one of those smart, rich guys. He's one of those guys who's like a billionaire who still like watches every single dollar. He's like, that's how you get rich and stay rich by by paying attention to your money uh three million people already use dave and uh you can save up to a thousand dollars a year in just overdraft fees alone when you go to dave.com so go to dave.com slash kfc uh and never pay an overdraft fee again get all those uh this is the rebranding of the name Dave.

It's pretty interesting. I'm here for it. Yeah, man. Dave took his name and made it something entirely different. No, no, no. They're taking Dave back. Dave.com slash KFC. Spelled just like the name.

D-A-V-E.com slash KFC to get started. And save up to $550 per year when you use dave.com first voicemail what's up what's up kfc fight super producer bc uh i'm not gonna leave my name because uh this one this one's gonna get personal uh listen y'all like to talk about how young people in particular have an issue with finishing early it It's a thing. It's a stereotype. It's probably an earned one. This has never been an issue.

I will state honestly for the record that I have never finished inside of a woman. Condiment, condiment, does not matter. Does not matter. It just hasn't happened. Doesn't happen. I don't know if i got a mental block i don't know what the issue is these girls i mean it's there's been some hot ones ones i'm

into and it doesn't doesn't happen does not happen it's a lot of work it's a lot of work i don't know i don't have you guys experienced this i'm'm assuming not. I don't know. How fucked is my body? So this guy can't come? This guy can't come? This is one of the things where it's sad that we have voice spells. He specified, I've never finished Inside Woman. Have you finished anywhere else? The way he's making it sound like a problem and that it's a lot of work and all that shit leads me to believe that he just can't come at all,

which is some would argue a superpower so if you want to make lemonade out of lemons here i think that's a good thing you could be known as the guy who can just fuck all night long i think you got to turn a negative into a positive here but i i do understand that it is in fact a negative because it's a lot of work and the whole point of fucking is coming it's it's literally the only point yeah and that's why i can't believe chicks do it when chicks have a hard time coming i'm like why do you guys even do this hopes up you're gonna get let down and you gotta get all naked and sweaty and shit it's like all for no payoff that's crazy to me uh i mean i'm a big the journey is the reward guy i don't know if it is with sex. It's not with fucking, dude. It's all about like I just want to teleport.

Like if I can just get to the destination right away, we are all good. Yeah, if you invented a pill that made me feel like I had an orgasm, I'd never have sex again. Never. Fuck is the point of that shit? I'd sit at home. I'd watch TV. I'd pop a pill a couple of, you know, probably every 20 minutes. I was going to say that.

You would need to pull a Hank with the Fleischman gummies. I'd just be down. I mean this kid's got to start faking it obviously, right? I assume he does now, right? I mean you have to fake it. I've talked about this before where like when I was younger, I was so scared of coming in girls where I never would. Like even girls on the pill and stuff like that where like – I think the analogy i always use is we'd basically wrestle for 20 minutes and then i'd

jerk off on top of you that's like that's what would happen that like like i'd pull out when i was even close to done and it would just be like i got five minutes i jerk off real quick but that was like when i was i went to catholic school i didn't really have great uh you know uh sex ed training so i didn't even know by the way it's not funny that when it's really truly time to get it done i don't need a vagina i'll use my hand yeah don't worry about me it's like it's strange like this this thing is designed to feel awesome on your dick and you're like nah that's not gonna get it done quick enough. I just got to hammer it out.

Well, it's like the vagina is – I crushed this just so you know. I haven't even said it yet. This is my baby shot. The vagina to the penis, it's the five-star resort, no doubt, right? It's the Ritz down in Puerto Rico, down in the Caribbean, right? And it's awesome.-star resort no doubt right it's it's the ritz down in puerto rico down in the caribbean right and it's awesome it's great but it's not a home baby right you know sometimes you want to go back to your hometown and be your white trash self you know yeah look yo yo you're designed for comfort don't get me wrong you got got all the amenities. You not as cozy as home, motherfucker.

You go back to what you're familiar with. Sometimes you want to go. You just got to go to the sound bar. You know, you're dying. Man, let's get right back in. I don't need all that fancy shit. I just need my fucking friends and a little relaxation, baby.

Thanks boys. KFC fights, super producer, BC, uh, Johnny calling, uh, you know,

from Massachusetts, uh, one to give you a call because I got a real situation on my hand here, boys. I have a new roommate who is very good looking.

Let's say she's hot. The problem is here is we both share a bathroom and it's just the two of us. So, you know, I want to be myself in my own goddamn bathroom. But we're talking about real, real bad shits in the morning, you know, ugly shower, you know, shaving, shit like that. Like, this is going to be rough.

What do I do here? Can I get any kind of hope from you boys? All right, Viva. I'll tell you what, man. A little plot twist for you. You got to be more worried about her than you. I think that room is going to be grosser because of her, and you're going to be like, oh, I don't even think this chick is as hot anymore because chicks are the ones who are sneaky gross in the bathroom.

We will leave whiskers. We'll leave stubble in the sink. That will happen, no doubt. But the rest of it, chicks, they've got all sorts of products and things going on. Chicks are disgusting. They just decorate walls with hair. What is that? Why would you girls take hair and just slap it on the wall?

Stick it on the shelf. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's like a – it looks like a fucking dream catcher. It's just a knot of hair and then a hair falling down just slapped on the wall and stuck there. What is wrong with you? Maybe it's like I could see them being so dumb. I could see them being like dumb i could seem to be

like well i don't want to clog the drain so i just stick it on the wall like no do something else with it don't just fucking leave it there uh this this is interesting though because i mean you you do want to just be yourself in your own bathroom but i don't know you this you just shouldn't you know what you going to do? What's going to happen here anyway? Are you going to start dating and banging your roommate? Is that really going to happen? Yeah, you should go in there and be disgusting so she doesn't want to date you. Just go be gross.

There's John's fucking point of view. Pretty much everyone else in the world would like something to happen with the very pretty girl they live with. But John's like, just fucking, just make this girl hate you. Well, because it's going to be, it's going to end in a disaster. Right, here's the deal. Either A, she doesn't want to date you, or B, she moves out of the house because you're so gross and then you can date. Pretty good? Pretty good.

You know what? That flies. It's almost like, you know, a girl wants like, a girl kind of always wants the bad boy or the guy who kind of treats her bad or whatever. It's like if you come in there and everything always smells like roses and your bathroom is all nice, she's going to think you're a little pussy boy. You got to go in there, take a shit, make that place dirty. She's going to move out and fuck your brains out. That is sound advice right there. But I also – I get it. I'm that way with with my regular male roommates.

I just don't want to be known as a gross person. My mom used to make fun of me if I didn't do my laundry. She's like, didn't you wear that shirt last week? I haven't done the laundry yet. What are you, you want to go to school smelling? I'm like, no. It's like one of those things, like a childhood thing, like a trauma where I don't want to be a gross person. I don't want anyone to ever think of me as a gross person.

So it would be hard for me to follow my advice on this. But what do you say? It's a good thing to strive for. Don't be a fucking gross person. Yeah. As far as childhood dramas go, it's a pretty good one, but, but it's like, it's one that's been beaten into me. So like, I, I, it doesn't like it doesn't like – I can't shit around men.

If I went to prison, I would die in three weeks just because I'd be – I'd start – I'd just be filled with shit. Yeah, like what? You're going to poop in front of people? No. I just – I think the bigger issue here, I get what you're worried about. But like you just have to be realistic about what is – what's your roommate your roommate situation gonna be she ain't fucking you if she moved in with you in the first place right think about that any girl who like agrees to be your platonic roommate already probably has friend zoned you or said to her friends like her friends are like oh my god

you're actually gonna move in with steve like isn't that gonna be weird and she was like no there's absolutely nothing going on there don't worry worry. Yeah. No, he's a gross pig. Don't worry about it. She probably knows, right? Take your dumps, dude. You're probably fat. I'm taking fat shits and she already fucking knows it. Do girls, like, worry about this too, you think?

Yeah, I would imagine. I would imagine that in the alternate universe where there's a female KFC radio, there's a girl calling up going, what do I do? What do I do when I have to poop? Can I still stick the hair to the wall? Can we still do what we usually do in the bathroom? I think of girls like – it's probably just because I'm so scared of them. Like they're just like the baddest, baddest bitches in the world.

They're like, I don't give a fuck. I'm going to go do what I want. Let's do my house. Yes, man. I definitely get that vibe too, where I'm like, I am constantly,

I'm always worried about like, what am I going to say on the date to impress you? Or how am I going to get you to agree to sleep with me? How come the fucking tables never turned, John? How come I'm never back on? You know what? Impress me so that I'll take my dick out.

It's a tough one for me. Show meress me so that I'll take my dick out. Show me something where maybe I'll consider taking my dick out. Could you imagine the luxury? Girls, John, they literally sit there at the table at the restaurant and they just cross their arms and they're like, be funny and I'll maybe consider taking my vagina out. That's unbelievable. That's the greatest position of power in the world they just sit there judging like okay you're not that good looking but you're not that ugly like you passed step one all right your job's okay step two now make me laugh and maybe i'll let you touch my vagina with your hands and then you know we can build up to you putting your dick inside me and it's all just like i'll

sit there and you have to just dance like a fucking monkey to get it done yeah we're jesters they really are and then they're just the queen sitting on the throne with a scepter going yes no maybe yes not me it's unbelievable take it for granted fucking hose you see that video recently of the guy getting yelled at the one that barcelona put up oh yeah that's it why is that okay? It's not. It's not. And do you see some dude, some smart guy? He has a blue check, and he was a smart guy because I looked at his Twitter bio, and he sounded smart. Oh, no.

He quoted it, and he was like, that's abuse. No, he's not a good guy? No, he's a very bad guy. Oh, fuck. Who is he? I believe it's – I think it's Mike Cernovich. He's a very bad guy. Is he a super bad guy? I mean, I think it's Mike Cernovich. He's a very bad guy. Is he a super bad guy?

I mean I think he's like a Richard Spencer type. Oh, fuck. I could be wrong, but – I looked at it and it was like this guy is into politics and shit. He uses his brain. I don't need that. That's a bad look because what he said is spot on. Hey, I'm trying to figure out.

So the video, if you haven't seen it, is this like, you know, frat boy who's wearing like his blazer and pink pants. And he's off to the like off the top of a staircase somewhere at a party. And his girl is just laying into him, just fucking roasting him, screaming, fingering his face, barking at him like a rabid dog. And he's just sitting there taking it, and I'm sure they're going to kiss and make up at the end of the night. And tomorrow morning, it's just like, oh, wow, wow. I had a couple last night, and the guy's going to just let it roll off his back, and this vicious cycle of abuse continues.

If the tables were turned, if some guy was ever in a little girl's face like, fuck you, you fucking – I mean he gets shot. Like the police would show up and tase him and tie him up. It's crazy. It's abuse. It's abuse. But yeah, Mike Cernovich, his bio is promoting his movie Hoax, which is just all about the fake news and how everything you've been told is a lie. Not great. I could have used that tweet from someone who's a little

bit smarter but in this case mike cernovich he's not wrong even a fucking clock my friend i can't believe that uh i had people that people were actually saying that usually it's just like whatever man yeah girls yell at guys that's just how the world goes it's it is it's wild they they take that for granted too it's like i am just going to explode on this other human and it'll be okay because we're we're dating what what the fuck is that about i had a buddy who just got this shit kicked out of him by his girlfriend and i was like what'd you do after that went sat back down because i didn't want to make a scene out of it i was like were you bleeding he's like yeah my nose is bleeding and this is in public by the

way so then like in their house this is in public he's like i just went back to sit back at dinner like i'm sitting at dinner trying to block my bloody nose because my girlfriend just kicked the shit out of me and we're just laughing about it this is it's unfortunate again again if a girl was telling her girlfriends like i just went back to the table and I just was trying to plug up my bloody nose, it would be like, call the police. We got a guy in jail. Me and you were just laughing at it. Unbelievable. Couldn't get your hands up, pussy.

Yeah, man. No, I couldn't. I didn't want to like accidentally hit her. Yeah, I didn't want to make any movements that could have been construed as doing to her exactly what she's doing to me. Because then I would be in trouble. In fact, I tucked both my hands in my ass. She demanded it, so who was I to deny her? All right, last voicemail of the day before we get into Lisa Ann. Last voicemail is brought to you by MVMT.

Get your shades for the summer. Get a matching watch. These are the kind of things that girls will maybe decide to let you sleep with them if they see that you got a nice watch on, they see that you got the matching sunglasses, the accessories for the summer are looking good, and also you're going to have a little bit of money in your pocket left over to maybe spend some money on them, take them out on a date,

buy them nice things so that they don't end up yelling at you because all movement sunglasses and watches are affordable because they cut out the middleman and pass on the savings to you. Watches start at just $65, $95. The sunglasses start at $75, and they got all sorts of different styles, colors, frames, lenses, the whole nine. I'm still waiting on my – I got to get the translucent with the purple polarized, so I'm going to be looking fucking fire for the summer. They got all sorts of classic looks and modern looks as well.

So go to MVMT.com slash KFC, get 15% off your order, plus free shipping and free returns. It's MVMT.com slash KFC for 15% off. Join the movement today. KFC, Vice, Super, Producer, Nintendo, DC. My name's Sam. I'm your stereotypical Jewish kid just trying to become an attorney and currently dating the Asian girls. So anyways, a couple days ago, she started texting me from a different phone number, pretending to be some girl named Alex on Tinder,

pretty much seeing if I would flip up and be faithful and go on a date with this uh fake phone number person and I was very nice and you know played along with it and not uh pretty much rejected it and then she started texting me kind of kind of funny not uh like one worry me kind of pissed off and finally I called her out on me and at first I didn't really think it was too crazy or just nothing that bad until I talked to a couple people who warned me that this girl is kind of crazy. And then after I was telling her I just didn't want to talk to her anymore, she kind of just throws out the L-bomb, telling me that she really does love me. But we've also been dating for about a month and a half

so i was just kind of curious on you on y'all's opinion and uh kind of the craziest stuff you uh you've encountered with women all right thank you guys bro this girl you've been doing this girl for a month and a half and she is plotting elaborate fake texting scams to try to catch you cheating? I'm going to be honest. I got really lost there. Can you explain it to me? She got a fake number and was texting him from a fake number pretending to be a different girl trying to entrap him into cheating. And he's been dating her for a month?

Just fucking dump this lunatic. Yeah. And he's been dating her for a month? Just fucking dump this lunatic. I thought he was like, you know, I've invested, like, we live together or like we're getting married or like something crazy where you feel like you can't just bail. That is, again, some crazy shit. If a guy was ever like plotting ways to deceive you and try to like trick a girl he'd be considered like the biggest fucking creep sociopath in the world but a girl sets up a fake phone number to try to entrap you into into cheating and it's just like ah girls will be girls should i keep dating her no you shouldn't keep dating her you barely even fucking know this crazy person yeah i don't even think you have to i don't even think you have to break up with her. I think you just stop talking.

I think breakups only have to happen if you know their middle name. Yo, so you know what you're going to get girls doing now? They're going to be like, hi, my name is Susan Louise. What's up? Bam. Going with the fight over rule. Now you got to fucking pay attention. I think that's a fair rule. If I don't know your middle name, we can just stop talking.

I don't know you well enough to have to dump you we're just like we're done i need like like uh middle name is tough you think that that's enough yeah i guess your middle names don't really pop up never what's your middle name like it doesn't pop up until like you're like laying on the couch one day and you're like hey what's your middle name by the way and that like if you're doing that kind of thing then you guys have a relationship of sorts day and you're like, hey, what's your middle name, by the way? And if you're doing that kind of thing, then you guys have a relationship of sorts. If not... Right. I was going to say, what about you know their dog's name?

But I feel like you might find that out much quicker than their middle name. I mean, you can find out a dog's name night one. Go home. Right. If it's Sprinkles. Okay. What's your middle name? I don't know.

Screen is their dog or something like that. That can pop up. Middle names ain't popping up. That's a pretty good rule. Yeah, it's a great rule. I only make good rules i'm not like the password inventor joe but i i i mean i can't believe that guy is even considering that is by the way girls if you do that that guy should legally be allowed to fuck that girl and there should be no repercussions that's a trap The made-up girl? Yeah, that's not fair.

Like if he fucking sent his dick back to that fake phone number, she'd be like – it's like snooping. It's like don't go looking for what you don't want to find. Don't try to get your man to cheat on you by like not only just texting him but I'm sure she was like saying shit to him and trying to like appeal to his fucking most most masculine of ways. Like, that's crazy. I thought you wanted that. That's if they were like doing like if she was putting out heavy sexting and I take it he was not seeing as he didn't get in trouble. Then you have to do everything you said you would do. Yeah, there you go the made-up girls you're like

i'll let you fuck my ass and this and that come here and i'll be bro blah blah blah and like like hey i mean that you made all these promises yeah you know what that's like so you know what that's so perfect because that guy can be like oh so this is you knowing actually how to make me happy these are all the things you're saying like oh oh, this is what this guy would love. So my fake persona is going to do that. No, now you actually – if you do love me, you want to drop the L-bomb, then do all the shit that you said because that actually is what's going to make me happy. And you know it because that's why you fucking said it, you lunatic. I'll tell you what.

Girls are fucking crazy, John. And then afterwards I'll ask your middle name. This is why just stick with pros like Lisa Ann, dude. She's such a fucking she's such a professional in every sense of the word. She's so real about it all. Very interesting woman, like beyond just porn. She's got a great story like good good takes and good thoughts and good conversation she also ranks the big dick energy of trent captain cons glennie balls za and young mantis how did mantis work his way in there by the way i had to leave this interview a little early and i got i walked out i thought we were done and mantis just kind of walked himself in i was like okay i'm leaving now just straight up straight up weaseled it, and I got to tip my cap

because she was a fan of young Mantis, to say the least. So you'll see who she picks out of that gang with the biggest of big dick energy. Talk all about her career in porn, Sarah Palin, now working on SiriusXM doing fantasy sports. All right, this interview is brought to you by Blowfish. Everybody swears that they have a hangover routine. You got to drink this drink, mix with that drink before you go to bed, wake up in the morning, take two of these.

None of them are real. There's only one that is actually FDA approved, and that's Blowfish. Think about that. The Federal Drug and Food Administration, they actually, Food and Drug Administration actually believes in this. They agree that Blowfish will help ease your hangover pain. It's two tablets. You drop them in water. The drink starts fizzing up. And then it's a combination of aspirin and caffeine mixed with that effervescence, those bubbles flowing. And it actually will help cure that hangover legitimately.

It works twice as fast as just regular pills because you got those bubbles flowing. And it actually will help cure that hangover legitimately. It works twice as fast as just regular pills because you got those bubbles flowing. And it's much more gentle on your stomach. And it's guaranteed. It's got a money-back guarantee. Bottom line is there's no reason to not try it. If you're going to be out there this summer, drinking, partying, having a good time, even if you're just old like us. Or if you're John and you're just watching sports and getting hungover, get yourself some Blowfish. Anytime you're stressed at night, you're going to be waking up in the morning feeling like

trash, whether it's from drinking or stress or sports or whatever, Blowfish will help ease you through the day with the aspirin and caffeine combo. Go to Blowfish. No, go to 4hangovers.com and 4hangovers.com slash KFC and get 20% off. That's 4hangovers, like this blowfish drink is 4hangovers. 4hangovers.com slash KFC. It's America's best-selling hangover remedy. Or you know what?

Just watch a little Lisa Ann. Just get sexy with yourself. Watch Lisa Ann and you'll feel much better. Let's talk to the queen here on KFC Radio. All right. Big episode of KFC radio right now lisa ann is here and i mean to say that the office was excited today is a gross understatement yeah i bring that noise i bet you do i bet you do it's like being santa claus it's great in a safe controlled environment like here it's not as great on the street i can see that even in the controlled environment like here. It's not as great on the street. I can see that. Even in the controlled environment here, like Kevin, before he came in, Kevin had asked me to bring him a water.

And as I was getting the waters, I was like, I feel rude not getting one for Lisa. But she probably doesn't like taking drinks from strangers. If I just came in, I was like, here's a glass of water for you, Lisa. Here's a sealed water bottle for you, Lisa. You have a very trusting face, though. You do. I would take it from you, but you are correct. There are some people that know I'm not taking a water.

The creepy guy that shows up with candy at a trade show like in a bag. He's like, do you want some candy? I'm like, come on now. I know better than that. What are the trade shows? I've seen videos on social media from following certain people in the industry. A couple.

Of the people who come up to you, what percentage are not total weirdos i would probably say 75 to 80 are not total weirdos okay it's just dudes that enjoy watching and are excited to meet you to have a photo for their instagram you know what i mean i mean don't get me wrong i i enjoy watching i enjoy lisa ann but i mean I mean, I wouldn't wait in a line. No. I mean, that's fucking crazy. Like in general.

Maybe my numbers are off and I'm being too nice. That's what you're saying? Because my line is usually a good three to four hours long when I go to. I call them porno garage sales. Fair quote. Because we just stand at a really janky table. You have to bring your own banner if you want people to know where your table is. And there's these cheap little things that have your name on the front that fall off like five minutes into the day.

They seem like they're much more, I mean, I don't know. I can't speak to earlier days. But they seem like they're pretty legit now. It seems almost like Comic-Con type stuff. They're very much like Comic-Con with a lot less cool costumes. I bet you differ. I've seen some of the costumes. Have you gone to these yet?

It's not your show. He watches the live feed. Are you kidding me? When there's a trade show, he's on the live feed. All day, can't come to work today. No, we watch that stuff at work. We have to announce it first. It's like, hey, I'm about to watch some porn.

It's for work. That clears it all up. It's research. Yeah, exactly. Most of the time, it's genuine research for either a blog or an interview. Would you wait in a line for like anything? Or let me rephrase. What would you wait in a line for?

Well, you know what? I'm meeting Dr. Ruth next week, so I don't have to wait in line. But now that I've watched her documentary, I would probably have waited in line for a photo. She's got to be up there as far as like your whole existence in a way, right? 100%. I waited in line for Wonder Woman when I was a girl, young girl, and she was coming to my mall, Linda Carter. It was a Sunday, which was forbidden.

It's football. To ask your dad and brother to wait in line with you. And when Linda Carter spoke to me, I had a meltdown and ran out of the mall. And so I think my waiting in line for fan experiences ended right there. That's it. One and done.

Up until that point, I did wear a Wonder Woman bathing suit under my clothes to school every day for almost a year, which put my parents into a real panic. Oh. Peter Pan over here. I dressed like Peter Pan for a year straight. Okay, so didn't you believe that eventually it was going to get bound to you and that's how you were going to become Peter Pan? I didn't, but I can see where it comes. I can see. That makes sense.

I mean, that's like what happens. I think homeless people, that happens all the time. They have to have like pants surgically removed from them. True. Homeless people. Yeah, yeah, I did believe that. And then once I met her, I realized I wasn't chosen in because if I couldn't handle it,

obviously I wasn't going to become Wonder Woman. You didn't have the power of the lasso. I stopped wearing the bathing suit. And that's like, ah, fuck it, I'll do porn. Much more resourceful. Let's be clever about this, Lisa. Let's find a gig that you can make money, work whatever you want. I mean, you can work such limited hours in porn.

That's what people don't realize. I work two days a month, you know? Two days a month? Yeah, I also used to do that, too. We also used to be on the podcast for a year. She's amazing. She was like, yeah, you know, like a couple days a month total. That's it.

I didn't know that. Yeah, it's a great gig. Great gig if you can get it. You can try. What would you do the other 28 days? You know, I'm my own agent so I book all of my own gigs, my feature dancing. I been doing sports radio now with Sirius

XM since 2013 so that does consume a lot of my time, especially with baseball. When I walk out of here, there's going to be a new injury on my fantasy baseball team. You know what I'm saying? Like, how quick that happens.

I believe... Football fantasy. Basketball, baseball, and football, and helping my game to golf. What about hockey? Where are we at? I need to do hockey. I was in St. Louis last week,

so I'm really fighting for the Blues right now just because... I'm from Boston. I get it. I'm living here. At noon, I'm getting on a flight going to the game. You want to come?

You know, public games are tough for me. Games are really tough because people are turned up on many levels, and then alcohol kicks in, and there's no filter. It sounds like it's real tough for you to be out there. It is. Society is awful. Do you, like, I mean, because we get it on probably a much different and lower scale, but I always say the day that that shit stops is the day that

business is going bad. So I'm very grateful for it but it sounds like it might be a little bit worse for you. We swear and everything. Yeah, you can swear and do it. When you're sitting in first class on a plane and two dudes walk by and one dude says to the other dude yo man, I just masturbated to her this morning.

That can stop. Let's do that differently. That can stop. So that yeah, yeah, please. Let's do that differently. That can stop. So that's what I get at games. That's not fun. At least you're in first class, though. It happens on occasion. I've been flying legitimately with American

for five million miles, so I get upgraded a lot. That's pretty good. But I will not pay for first class. Why? Because I just do not think it's worth it. See, I mean, it's a lot of fucking money, but I think it is worth it. Like, when I'm it's a lot of fucking money, but I think it is worth it.

Like, when I'm there, I'm like, oh, this is classic shit. Because your money is growing year after year. My money is going to eventually end. So I'm looking at it like, well. Goddamn, Lisa, enterprise. It shouldn't. If it does, like, you need a whole new team. Yeah, that's true.

I am my team. So we'll see how this works out. You need to fire yourself if you're losing money, Lisa.isa god damn you can't go outside without people talking about you being your own team we actually spoke to some of the guys from the flag or two podcast we had them in here they're like friends of ours and i didn't realize that you you know you fired a fighter agent right and became became your own team and more or less invented racial point interracial point yes you're a pioneer yeah right there Kaz is a very good friend of mine. Actually, he's always one of the first people I see when I come to the city.

So we did what I call walk and talks. It's when you meet your friends in Central Park and you like talk, you know, walk and talk. And we got to catch up. He's such a great dude. Yeah. The interracial thing was a shocker to me because when I got into the business in the early 90s, what I didn't know with my contract was that I wasn't allowed to shoot it.

And I didn't understand why. I was like, I'm getting into porn. You guys have rules on me about people? Like, really? This business is that open-minded, but it's not? It's a very racist industry. So I had to fight against that, which wasn't easy because a lot of people told me, you're never going to get booked again.

You're never going to be able to go on the road. I'm like, okay. They were wrong. Yeah. I also looked at them and thought, especially like porn writers and directors. I mean, nothing against anybody, but I would always look at the writers and think, obviously you wanted to write something other than this bad shit. Right? Yeah, right.

So you didn't make it. So when they write something that sucks, I'm like, oh, you know, this is the best you could do. So I'll follow along. You had, so do you get like royalties from Blacks? That's what you should do. I I'll follow along. So do you get royalties from Black? That's what you should do. I don't shoot for Black. I know, but you invented it.

You invented the game. Yeah, you know, no. The only way you get royalties is if you own your own content. So you're essentially buying your masters. Yeah, and now I produce all my own masters, so that helps me a lot. That's pretty good. You're like the soldier boy of porn. Soldier boy claims that every modern rapper owes him money because he invented like the internet and rap but does he owe 50 money that would be the great

ad because 50 is the best follow for just seeing who owes him money that's undeniable and when i was at his place the other day i did a photo and i put on my instagram and everyone's like do you owe him money do you owe him money i, wow, the conversation with 50 Cent has changed. We actually found a clip. Can we pull up that? Yeah, it's in your Gmail. Are you texting somebody right now? Are you focused?

I'm getting what he just said. So speaking of bad writing, we found a scene that you did that I think the people watching are going to enjoy. Oh, I cannot. It was ranked out of the top ten worst porn intro scenes. I know exactly which one it is. I'm sure you do. I was proud to do that. When they handed me that script, I was like, this is. It was phenomenal. Like, in a way, I think it was actually the best.

So we'll pull it up here. I mean, this kind of thing, obviously, this is on purpose, right? Yeah, and I loved it. We laughed so harsh. I mean, this is the best I've. This is a bathtub. No body of water is safe without a lifeguard. It's two feet deep, lady.

What are you doing here? You can relax. You're safe now. Your lifeguard is here. Okay. Get out of the water. There's a shark. Get out of the water. There's a shark in the water.

There's no shark in the bathtub. Aren't you glad you had a lifeguard here to save you? I guess. Wait a minute. You should go. I don't need you to be here. I think I should stay, and I think we should have sex. Okay.

And the stare at the end. Where did the shark come from? What was the idea for the shark? What was the writer's name? The writers. The writers. You know what I mean? And they hand me this, and I'm like, you know what? This is a go.

Because this is ridiculous. People love that scene. And they picked the perfect guy. He delivers a – he gets oscar for that well yeah this is two feet tall he actually looked like he was surprised and i always like to when they tell you know the guy has to hesitate a little bit and act like he doesn't want to do the scene he's like well no i think you should go and i'm like yeah all guys would not do that never never absolutely not do you like that versus just, all right, let's get to it?

Well, that wasn't too much. So, yes, that's fantastic. That's enough dialogue for me. When there's a whole story, I'm just like, eh, the day is longer. Like when we shoot for browsers, they focus on their trailers and they want to make this whole thing. And so you might shoot like eight hours of this before you even get to the sex. Oh, that's ridiculous.

That's a movie. It is a movie. Oh, that's ridiculous. Which is like really. That's a movie. It is a movie. You're making legitimate movies. All in one day. Like you can be on set 15, 16, 17, 18 hours. And that to me is just like this is grinding. Eight hours before you have sex? Like I sign up to, I'm having sex.

I'm not here to act and they make you do eight hours of that? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're kidding. How long does the sex itself usually last shooting? Anywhere between 35 and 45 minutes, depending if we were able to go straight through. We don't need any clips of editing,

but if there were some breaks and they want to get that extra footage so that the editor has an easier time. Fucking 35 minutes. Yeah. It's good to train for it. Damn, Lisa. Think about it.

It's the fucking Olympics, apparently. You've got to train for your whole fucking life. It's good cardio. I remember Asa telling us that there used to be guys on set who would, like, what do they do? Oh, terrible things. They would stab themselves in the balls with, like, forks. Oh, yeah, they do a lot of weird stuff. They also inject their penises to stay hard, which is...

Oh, okay. That makes me feel better. So they're juicing. They're all on PEDs. I want you all to know that. They're all on PEDs. Oh, that's a totally different thing. All right.

What are they injected on? Ands. I want you all to know that. They're all on PEDs. Oh, that's a totally different thing. All right. What are they injected with? And where do I get it? It's a weird combination of stuff. What bothers me is the fact that they're not doctors, so they don't really know the right place to inject. And they're probably buying it from some street drug peddler. So let's say you're on set. Some dude's in the back just tying off, essentially.

And then finding a vein, which if I can spot it with my- They do it in the bathroom with the sink running. That's how you know they're doing it. Because the sink will be running for like 20 minutes. So I'll be like, ear to the door, like, oh, he doesn't want me to know. He's getting out his stuff right now. So guys injecting their dicks is just like girls going to the bathroom regularly? Yeah.

Just let the water run. Let the sink run so they can't hear it. They won't know what I'm doing in here. The faucet's running. Meanwhile, the guy doesn't even wash his hands. You know what I mean? Like, are your hands damp still? Come on.

Because you washed them for 20 minutes. Come on. I'm looking here. I mean, I feel like Sarah Palin was obviously what burst on the porn scene. But I feel like what kind of threw you on to, like, the sports blog scene was the game day sign kid and taking him to the AVNs. Oh, my gosh. And Matt and I are still really good friends. I know. You like a brother says like i talked to his parents when we talk we're on facetime we're all talking he's just a great kid and you know when that happened i was here

in my apartment in new york and i saw the sign so right away i took it to twitter and i'm like you guys gotta find me who made this sign and which didn't take long baylor's defense had more holes to fill than l. And which is hella clever. And also, I wanted to know how they got it through the screeners because you know there's people that look at the signs to make sure. So I just wanted to picture the moment. I wanted to relive the moment with him and his friends. It was a folding sign that had a different message.

So when the guy turned his back, they were able to, oh, brilliant, this kid's going to make moves in this world, right? So so then i brought him to the avn then we went to the avn again and then his school uh at the time let me go to a week's worth of his classes with him he was going to sports broadcast so you did like a little like billy madison back to school thing yeah and i went to the campus walked around with a backpack you know i never had the opportunity to go to college that must have been a fucking scene and what was cool about it was everyone in his school kind of looked to me like this mascot. So nobody was any which way with

me. It was just like I walked in with him and his friends. We sat down. Teacher was teaching. Nobody was staring. It was like this is normal. Lisa Ann's part of our life. This is normal. So cool. If Lisa Ann comes into my sports broadcasting 101, I don't know.

I wonder who enjoyed that more, you or him, because it sounds like you were down with this. I was down with it because I have no experience in sports radio other than listening and always trying to get better. Did you learn a lot? I did learn. Did you? I did learn, yeah. I think you're good at it. Thank you very much.

I mean, I feel like you have this whole second career where, like, people are going to know you as that. And I love working for serious and i love doing radio it allows me to talk without having to look good that's what i like about it so does this podcast but look at you now yeah i'm out and about you know what i mean but like you know i i do my show a lot from home so i'm in my pajamas you know what i mean it's the greatest thing ever from working two days a week to working in your pajamas, you've had a pretty delightful, I don't want to say easy life because you definitely put work in. I put in the work.

I put in the practice, right? I hit the gym, stay away from the drugs. Like there's a lot of things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the opposite of what we do. Pretty good. Pretty much actually like the polar opposite. Exclusively different.

Yeah, everything you do is the opposite of what we do. Check, check, check. I noticed, this was in 2015, you kind of were vaguely mentioning you had something going on with one of the Warriors. Okay. Is that player still on the team? Yes. The thing is, I do make dinner for any sort of champion award winner. Really?

Yes. We won a podcast award, I think. Yeah, we did. We won something once. This is a thing. So other players will know, like, let's say there's a rookie award that goes out in whatever sport. An older player on his team will reach out to me and say, yo, you know, so-and-so won this award. You need to make him dinner.

He's going to be in L.A. during these dates, and then I make dinner. What's your go-to meal? Whatever they want. So whatever the request is. So you got it all. I got it all. I got a grill. I got everything you need, so you just tell me what you want to eat,

and I'll make it. So that's what you do on the other 28 days of the month during porn, is cooking it up. Yeah, cooking it up. So that's actually like, I don't know if this is probably an obscure reference. Rudy might get it. There's a movie called Youngblood with Rob Lowe.

Yes. And he's a juniors hockey player. And you would have tea with Miss – you remember her name? Yeah. You'd have tea. And it was like what the young players would do when they came in. Yeah. Let's call it Miss Lippy, which is not from the movie.

But you'd go have tea with Miss Lippy. Why did you come up with Lippy? Is this a common name? Miss Lippy is from – Billy Madison. Billy Madison. Okay, just wondering. And you'd go have tea with Miss Lippy. And that would be, you go, she makes you food, and

you have some tea, and then you guys have sex. Was Miss Lippy hot? She was. She's a weapon. Okay, then. Yeah. I am Miss Lippy. Good comparison.

There we go. The older players set it up, and it was like, yeah, go have tea. And I mean, that's essentially what it is when you win an award. With Lisa Ann. And I secretly have my pulse on a lot of players, on a lot of teams, and this does help me with fantasy as well. It lets me know what's really going on with the team, if there's any underground fighting inside scoops.

But at the same time, you can't be like a snitch. So it's a very fine line for yourself. So you're not getting on the air being like, don't bet on the Warriors tonight. So that's always going down. You know about locker room chemistry. I also know which players are very decadent on the off season and put on a little bit of way or maybe party a little too much.

And really legit players at Tom Brady, a Larry Fitzgerald. These are players that they look at this as their career and they work out all year and they take care of themselves all year. Then other players party like rock stars for seven months. I never draft them because I'm like, you're going to get injured this year and you're not going to be on my team. But then I talk them up.

Other people in my draft group. Oh, I just spent the summer with Tom. Game of Thrones over here. Little finger. He's looking really good. He's working out all summer. He's in the best shape of his life. I think he lost like five pounds of fat put on 10 pounds of muscle.

You should draft him. And that opens up who I want. So the advice for Fantasy with Lisa Ann on serious Mondays is do the opposite of what Lisa Ann says. No, no. On my show, I give out legit advice.

I just sound like it. When I'm in a live draft room and I'm, and I'm drafting a team, I am heckling all of my league mates to be sure that I throw them. Cause they listen to what I say. And I just give them bad advice. Cause I want to win the league. That's pretty ruthless,

but it makes sense. Tom Brady would do the same. I'm sure. Of course. He deflated balls. You know, like there's so many. Goddamn right. We don't have enough time.

You're goddamn right, Lisa. We don't have enough time. Goddamn right he did. I got places to be. You're a Patriots fan. We only have about 40 minutes in here. He's all Boston teams. I am, yes.

Okay. Obnoxiously so. So you don't believe it? Of course. Oh, goddamn it, Lisa. You think it was all conspiracy against Tommy? Yes! This is all proven, Lisa! This is proven. I mean,

scientists from MIT, down to high schools have been like, no, that's what the ideal gas law is. That's what will happen in that temperature. The amount of times these guys have said the ideal gas law. What about listening to other play calling from other teams? Was that not an offense on the Patriots?

When did they listen to play calling? Wasn't this something a couple of years before? This is the problem. This is the problem. There are retractions and no one listens to the retractions. The Boston Herald said that story was made up. They apologized. They got it totally wrong.

I mean. See, I'm a Dallas Cowboys fan. We just have players that get either arrested or pushed security guards or Michael Irvin era. Remember that era? Going to court in a white fur coat. Yeah. Going to the White guards. Or Michael Irvin era, remember that era? Going to court in a white fur coat. Yeah, going to the White House. He might be too young to remember, but those were epic moments.

Those 90s cowboy scenes. The Fun House, all that good stuff. I read in an article that you were featured in, you said that Mike Tyson changed everything as far as women and athletes. Yeah. What do you think? And what, just because there was so much attention and so much negative publicity that everyone was like,

whoa, we got to like. I think that court case really let agents aware that, hey, these women are going to start hustling these men. What do you think changed the game more, Mike Tyson versus social media? Social media has changed the game. I don't know how anybody, anybody who's like mega famous, I don't know how to do it.

Yeah, the good days were back before all of this. The hard thing is everyone has expectations now for celebrities, athletes. They feel that every moment of our day is to be entertaining their social media. So at any time somebody wants a photo, can I have a photo for my social media? They don't introduce themselves.

They don't say hello, nothing. And then they'll be like, Oh, and then they'll argue with you. And I'm like, do you realize that my day does not revolve around you that openness has created a kind of misconception that everyone owes you something like no we don't do you when you were

in the industry did you still feel the need more to kind of go with that to go like to be like because because you still need fans at this point i mean you need your fantasy fans but you don't really need you know the lisa and bray i guess is big enough yeah but you don't really need – the Lisa Ann brand I guess is big enough. Yeah. But you don't – My rule of thumb is this. I don't like to – I do a lot of events still, right? So I feel like if you see me at an event, it's a free-for-all.

I do photos the whole time. But if I'm at the gym or I'm at the grocery store, I'm running errands that I don't want to be running, like the post office, I don't want to stop and chat. I want to be like Larry David, no stop and chat. You know what I mean? Just like tunnel vision. So I just tell people I don't want to stop and chat. I want to be like Larry David, no stop and chat. You know what I mean? Just like tunnel vision. So I just tell people I don't do photos. Also, it kind of lets people know what I'm wearing that day, and then I feel a little bit more apprehensive everywhere else I need to go

because now it's like where's Waldo tracker. Like, oh, I just saw Lisa at this post-op. Most likely she's driving eastbound. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Emma Watson said something like that. She said I'm done taking pictures with fans because fans can find where you are and shit. Yeah, that's creepy. Yeah, girls got to go that extra mile.

I get annoyed. I'll be like, oh, that's bothering me. But I'm not like, oh, you're going to find out where I'm at. And then also, you guys are guys. So somebody's taking a photo. They're standing next to you. Guys are taking a photo next to me. I've got to worry.

They're going to brush. First, they're going to try and brush their hand on my ass while we take the photo. Then they're going to touch my boob. It's like this whole thing is happening. And you're like, just let me get this moment over with. I had that happen to me once. I was at a bar and this girl who wasn't particularly my type was like all over me. You got assaulted?

Like rubbing my dick and stuff. And I was like, this mother. You wish she was your type. All you were wishing was that she was your type I was just like can you just stop fucking touching me please but I didn't want to

fucking push her or anything like that I was just sitting there getting molested I was like this sucks only you dude this is the worst you couldn't picture her

as somebody else no I couldn't it was like I was honestly it wasn't even like I was on the dance floor I was just standing at the bar and it was just like

can you just stop like fucking fingering my ass this is a whole thing it's aggressive it's so much right and I was like standing at the bar. It was just like, can you stop, like, fucking fingering my ass? This is a whole thing. It's aggressive. It's so much. Right. I mean, that's just like, you can't touch people. Come on.

I know. Basic rules of society. Don't touch strangers. I usually say, just so you know, this is not a petting zoo. Seriously. I mean, I guess when, you know, they think, like, they've watched you have sex before, so it's like a free-for-all. That's where the mindset is very different.

I get paid for that. I work. I consented. There's a million things that have to happen, man i and i like the person i'm working with right i want to rescue people from bathtubs early on yeah early on were you fucking guys who you like you had to and you're like this sucks you always were like in the 90s they kind of broke it down very differently the producers wanted you to meet the talent you were going to work with i was a contract girl right away that was a goal of mine when I got out to California because I knew I'd be really

protected. I also knew I'd have good marketing and I knew I'd be on the box cover of all of my movies, which would get me more money on the road. So I had all these plans. So they actually made sure I met the guys. I liked the guys. The director would be like, you guys were cool, but I didn't really see a chemistry so I don't want you to shoot with them.

And it was very different. And then the internet happened and they just need so many scenes and they don't have you to shoot with them. And it was very different. And then the internet happened, and they just need so many scenes, and they don't have the time for that careful consideration of introducing people. So now it's just like, you have to. And sometimes I show up, and I'll ask the girl, do you know who you're working with when I'm producing a scene for my company and I'm not in it?

And she'll be like, oh, yeah, I forget. I saw it on the shoot info. I'm like, don't you care? Didn't you want to look them up? Even through Google, yeah. Didn't you want to just be turned on and be fantasizing about it the night before? I at least want to look at photos. And she's like, no,, don't you care? Didn't you want to look them up? He didn't throw a Google, yeah. Didn't you want to just be turned on and be like fantasizing about it the night before? I at least want to look at photos, you know? And she's like, no, I don't care.

The game done changed, Lisa. The game done changed. We probably, the Sarah Palin thing earlier, who would be someone that you would want? It doesn't have to be necessarily right now, but if you could choose anyone to be in a porn parody of or anything like that, who would it be? Who do you think you'd knock out of the park? Oh, that's a great question. I mean, I think I might have an answer for you.

I mean, Wonder Woman. That's exactly what I thought, too. Linda Carter. I mean, it's hot in the streets. I mean, you have, like, the look, too. Can I just bring it back and not be so scared? You should definitely do Wonder Woman. Yeah, okay.

I mean, what are we doing here? That's a good one. I did recently go to Alaska, and I went to Wasalla. I was actually on a trip going to do dog sledding and I said to the driver, you know we have to stop in Wasalla because I have to take a picture by the sign. And then I had to tweet it at Sarah Palin

because years ago, whoever was running her social media had me blocked. I was going to say, did you ever get any backlash from them? And then, out of nowhere, I was unblocked. And this is amazing! I think that's just the internet coming of age where someone's like, we can actually

spin this in a good way. How short sighted to be like, I don't know, just block that. I want a photo with her. Yeah. Wouldn't that make you happy and you happy? That would make the fucking world happy. I agree with you. The world would explode.

If you just tweeted a picture or posted no caption, no nothing, bam. It would be unreal. I'm not giving up on that dream. In the height of all that, did you ever hear anything from them? I didn't. Like a CD or anything like that? No, but there was that one radio station.

See, because Sneaky liked it. There's Sneaky, but there was that one radio station in Montreal that got through her PR screeners and did an almost good interview, and they were like, oh, we're talking about who's nailing Palin, and she hung up right away.

No one reached out. My friends were very afraid at that time that I was going to end up being taken away in a black vehicle. Yeah, it's a little. And my organs being sold for donors. So they were like afraid. They were making me paranoid. But, you know. What do you think would have happened if, you know, if Sarah Palin doesn't exist?

Or if she doesn't look exactly like you? Or, you know, like if you couldn't portray her, where would your career have gone? I have no idea. I mean, I'm sure I would have chugged along and just been doing my thing but doing that with flint you know with larry flint made me feel a lot safer about it because this is the man where he's so protected and he's going to protect me and i got to travel to dc with him and speak on the rights of a parody how they changed the spelling of her name why it was legal to do that um he's just a fascinating man so it was cool to be a part of that with him.

Very cool. When you were on Flagrant 2 with Kaz the other day, you said, or I don't know if you said it or they said it for you, but there was this talk of big dick energy radar. Yes. And you've just got a sixth sense for it, if you will. So I was going to bring a couple subjects in here for you. Oh, this is fantastic.

Do we have a lineup? Yes. We're going to kind of, We'll do it like auction style. I'm going to bring them in. You'll see how they're dressed. You can say hi to them. Can I interview them a couple times? Yeah, I was going to say, so this is our first candidate here. This is Connor. Come on.

She actually wants to ask you a couple questions, so you can hop on the mic. He's on one of our podcasts. He's also a veteran. Gainfully employed. And so, yeah. Do your thing. Will I have them all or is this a one-on-one?

Actually, what do you want to do? I have four candidates. We'll go one-on-one and then I'll give you the word without them sitting right here. I'm not bashful. You can tell me in my face. I need to compare the other guests as well. I do believe that you're doing very well.

But shockingly enough, sometimes big dick energy comes from the guy that's like, you're like, how is this guy even getting by in society? And how does this guy have a girlfriend? He kind of looks a little bit ragged, really wearing a Metallica shirt still. And I'm like, that's the guy. That's the total fucking. So everything I'm not.

Yeah, pretty much. But you're doing very well. I'm not saying it's small. You're doing very well. But when you see that guy, you're going to understand what I mean. I get it. Connor, do you have any questions for me? This is your moment.

Ooh. Okay. On the spot. What are your thoughts of Barstool Sports prior to coming in today? I think you guys are taking over and eventually other things will not exist. This is the generation of sports talk where it's just not so commercialized and owned by somebody that controls everything. It's just so real.

And your fans have grown faster than any other broadcast division. And they're just so loyal. And they send you guys great footage. They give you so much good content. It's unbelievable. They don't miss a thing. Did your homework, girl. You guys are killing it.

That's good to hear. That was very nice. I didn't expect a thing. Did your homework, girl. You guys are killing it. That's good to hear. That was very nice. I didn't expect that one. Good answer. Good answer. And I guess, I mean, I'd be remiss, June 6th, D-Day, what are your thoughts on the troops and the fact that you've, let's say, assisted a lot of gentlemen and probably ladies get through their deployments?

This year, February 14th, Valentine's Day, I got a special gift from Afghanistan and there was a mission run and they get to dedicate a flag. You know about this, right? I didn't know this even existed. So they get to dedicate a flag and they sent me this really nice letter with the flag that there was voting

at the barracks, but it was very stiff competition, which I loved, and it was folded up with a photo of all of them holding it. And that was just so special because I do realize that it's lonely. They often have one DVD, and some guy will say, I was out for eight years and I only had your one DVD. It's amazing what they do for us in any way that I can make them ease their time. It's awesome.

You flipped it back on her. She's doing the explanations now. Right, right. What are your thoughts on college football players? College football in general. So you understand the Justin Brent situation, right? This was the kid that I took to the Knicks game. I don't know if you guys saw this,

but before the draft this year, a writer, some hack from the Indy Star, wrote this article that was interviewing Justin that was like, oh, it was a blip. And I embarrassed my family by being with a porn star. And I only saw her that once. Mind you, I was able to screen grab all the DMs that are leading up until two months ago. That was a bad idea, bro.

Look through all of your own profiles and block me and delete that stuff before you smack talk. So my only goal was to make sure he didn't get drafted and then also to speak to somebody on each team that if he did get drafted, his first day in the locker room would be a nice ass beating. So he did get drafted. All right. Don't cross Lisa Jones for real.

Hell have no fury. Watch the fuck out. I just never had a guy be embarrassed to have sex with me before. So this was a new thing. My friends loved it. They're like, oh my God, this guy's slut shaming you so bad. He's so embarrassed that to have sex with you before so this was a new thing my friends loved it they're like oh my god this guy's slut shaming you so bad he's so embarrassed that he has sex with you i'm like he also forgot that i had a fox reporter that wanted to do an interview with us and this was in 2016 so i had flinder come to la i had justin come over i made them both dinner

but i said to flinder dick does not get in my interviews, right? So do not waste space. No real estate for him. But when I give you the green light, you can print this article, right? So years go by, you know, and this happens, and right away I text Flinder, I go, remember that interview you did? It's go time. Let it rip. Damn. You are vicious, girl.

Alright, so this is our first candidate here. So get one last look over. Are you engaged? No. Girlfriend? Yeah. Oh, lovely. Good to here. So get one last look over. Are you engaged? No. Girlfriend? Yeah. Oh, lovely. Good to know.

So he's off the market. That was my last question. Any other questions? I'm not going to love how you said that, but yeah. I'm sorry. I have one last question. What really was the impetus for you to write your book? You know, I think it's something that everybody should really attempt to do

because it's one of these things that seems so overwhelming. And it's a goal that just once you make that happen, you kind of sit back and you're like, wow, I did that. I have a book on Amazon. It's way cooler than a porn. It's way cooler than the bathtub. This is unique. And also, you know, it gives you that sense of permanence where you really start to look at your life. And I'm almost finished with my second book right now.

I'm a huge reader myself. I love autobiographies. What are you reading right now? I'm a huge reader myself. I love autobiographies. What are you reading right now? I'm writing content. We've got other candidates. This is not your time. Sorry, sorry. Right now I'm reading a book called The Edge.

Oh, yeah, sure. Slight Edge. It's a great book, right? So I go back and forth between, like, you know, habit, power, all these good reading, like, thinking books, and then I read, like, a Ronda Rousey or Tina Fey or a fun autobiography. This is going to go very quickly when we get Glennie in here. Get the fuck out, Connor. thinking books, and then I read, like, a Ronda Rousey or a Tina Fey or a Fonata. This is going to go very quickly when we get Glennie in here.

Get the fuck out, Connor. All right, I'll leave. Next candidate's up. Thank you, Connor. I'm so flattered. Listen, if you need anyone to go with you to any sporting events, you can ask these guys. I'm great to go.

Okay, great. I don't think people would mess with me if I was with you guys, right? No, probably not. I mean, probably yes. Thanks, Connor. I don't know. I'm not sure about that. I have my mental notes on. All right, so that's candidate number one. Okay. I mean, probably yes. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not sure about that. I have my mental notes on.

All right. So that's candidate number one. Okay. Send in whoever's next at the door here. This is fantastic. How'd you guys wrangle this to happen? This is Trent. Hi, Trent.

Trent is from Iowa. Trent, you're from Iowa. He is from Iowa. He is a part of Foreplay. What do you know about Iowa? I know those Iowa boys that ran a Twitter account called Those Iowa Boys. Oh, I did know them, yeah. When I first started out, they were a big

deal when I first started. So I'm really good friends with them. They've all moved to separate places. When I do gigs, one of them lives in Denver, so he's my fake security in Denver so we can hang out. We initially met, of course, at a strip club. And then right before I was going to retire, I went back to that club and they wrote me this handwritten letter about what I've done for them and how exciting they are to watch the next chapter of my life. And I was like, retire, I went back to that club, and they wrote me this handwritten letter about what I've done for them

and how exciting they are to watch the next chapter of my life. And I was like, oh, my God, these kids are so cute. Yeah, I mean, Iowa people are nice. We're super nice. We're the nicest guys in the world. And the strip clubs are BYOB. It's the best part. Strip clubs, what you do is you walk in, they've got these round tables,

and then there's ice and chat. Like, they just put ice in there, and you can bring your own beer. And then they also bring, like, if you bring, like, a bunch of girls with you, they'll bring them up on stage, and they'll take their shirts off. Any thoughts on that? The bouncers clean the house. Like, they ask the girls, or they just cut them off from the back? At the end of the night, when they drain all the ice out of those things,

do you realize how much liquor gets left behind? So the bouncers get, like, six extra cases cases of beer from like, you know, and they line it all up on the stage at the end of the night and then everybody that works there decides who's taking what. Bars close at 2 a.m. in Iowa. So strip clubs close at 4 a.m. So when the bars would close, we'd go to a gas station,

buy a bunch of beer, and then go to the strip club just to drink more. There also happened to be naked women there, which was an advantage as well. So are you single? Yes, I am. Completely single, not single. As single as it gets, Lisa.

Let me give you a couple stats on Trent. First of all, he is part of the 4Play podcast, which is pretty much at this point the number one golf podcast in the world. Yep. You're my friend then because I'm starting to take lessons. There you go. How's it going so far? I'm playing DFS golf. I watch like crazy.

Okay, yeah. We got the number one golf podcast in the world. Swing around boobs is different. Yeah, I don't know how that is. You did it differently for your class. I know how it goes. It's pretty tough. So this is also Trent's uniform. It's called foreplay. Do you get it?

I'm just making sure. He wears the khakis and black shirt exclusively every day. This is the Trent uniform. I love it though sure. Yeah. He wears the khakis and black shirt exclusively every day. I wear it every day. This is the Trent uniform. I love it, though. He doesn't have to worry about anything else in his wardrobe. And you know what?

It's very, like, I know it's his uniform. I know it's his thing. He's like, he's like, like, owns that now. I never have to think about it. So I just get up every morning. I put this on. The only problem is I've been losing weight and gaining weight pretty much, you know, a lot over the last six months.

So the sizes are a little off. So I feel like, I don't know. That's my only problem with the uniform. but other than that, it goes really well. And also, speaking of size, he was the biggest baby ever born in Iowa history. How many pounds? How many pounds do you think? 13.2. That was really close. Really fucking close. 14. What? Yeah, 14 pounds.

Your mother? Yup. Was this natural? No, God no. Wow, your mother! Absolutely not. I think Trent's mother's like wow lisa ann did you have any kids after you i'm the youngest so yeah she had three no no none after me okay but yeah that's okay i'm not nervous at all like not even a little bit i came in here and was super confident just like that's how i thought you were a cruise until then. That's how I lead my life.

I'm going to favorite foreplay and start watching and stalking you on social media, and I will comment on what I listen to. You actually follow me on Twitter. I don't follow you. I talked to everyone. Sorry. Why don't you follow me? I thought it was a cool move to not follow you.

You followed me. I was like. I don't know. I don't know if that's big dick energy, bro. Okay. So, like, I don't put a lot of porn and stuff up on there. So, it's nothing offensive. No, I don't care.

That's what it would be. It would be offensive. Translate, I can't see this. When I start tweeting at him and then my guy fans realize, you know, you're tweeting at him. He doesn't even follow you. And I'm like, you know, I asked him in person. Yeah. He said he just was playing it cool.

Yeah, I'm playing it cool. I can't DM you, you know, if you're not following me He said he just was playing it cool. Yeah, I'm playing it cool. I still am. I can't DM you, you know, if you're not following me. I was waiting for this moment when I came in and could tell you that I don't follow you on Twitter. Okay. How did it work? That's big dick energy right there. Yeah.

All right. Yes. That's the number two. Yes. That's a little big dick energy. That was a tense moment. That was going to go one way or the other. I don't know which way it was going to go.

You fired me up. All right. You're out of here. We got to end this. All right. Sweet. We're halfway through. We got two more for you. Now, these next two are- I love the way you guys it was going to go. Fire me up. All right, you're out of here. All right, sweet. We're halfway through. We got two more for you.

Now, these next two are – I love the way you guys arranged this. Thank you. I'm so flattered. These are also the guys in the office that I – to be honest, all of them have enough big dick energy because this is actually a very insecure office. And so I picked the guys who I knew could handle it. Glennie Balls.

No, you're going to go right here. You're actually going to pop on the mic. And Glennie, you were on the podcast with Asa, right? Yeah. Yes, Asa loves Glennie Balls. You're going to go right here. You're actually going to pop on the mic. Glennie, you were on the podcast with Asa, right? Yes. Asa loves Glennie. Glennie, let me tell you something about him. He usually does Hawaiian Shirt Fridays. He heard you were coming in today. We're doing Hawaiian Shirt Thursdays.

So what do you do tomorrow? I got a Hawaiian shirt. I will admit the fedora is a new look. I think he's dressing up for you. No, the fedora was all my guests as I've gotten here. I will admit the fedora is a new look. I think he's dressing up for you. No, the fedora was on my desk as I've gotten here. I've just had it here. I just wanted to get my phone when Brandon texted me to come in here.

And I was like, oh, that fedora was just sitting there. This is the moment. Why not throw it on? This was the fedora moment. And the fedora could also lead to other things. So questions you have. I have a question for you. Girlfriend or are you single?

What do you think? I'm single. I just got my first bubble match in like 10 years. My guy. I was just going to ask you if you're on any dating apps I'm single. I just got my first Bumble match in like 10 years or whatever. My guy. I was just going to ask you if you're on any dating apps. Me and my friends love to go on Bumble. It's just so much fun. You just swipe and then like nothing comes of it.

You can always use a photo of someone like myself and really have some fun with it. I tell my friends. I thought I had the ultimate Bumble cheat code when I went on Andy Cohen. I was a bartender on Andy Cohen one time. Watch what happens live. That on my, as my Bumble picture. Smart man. That first month, the matches

were floated at a high rate, but then after that, it died down. We just gotta get your picture game. We gotta up your picture game. That's all. What better picture game you ask for than bartending at Andy Cohen? But then it gets stale. You gotta rotate him. It would be confusing. It would be sexually confusing.

I'm just saying. I also threw one on recently, two weeks ago. I have a picture from when I was out in Montreal last year. And I had my Hawaiian shirt on buttons at a club. Yeah, buddy. And I threw that on there because I feel like I hired it. So I threw that on there. It hasn't increased the matches either.

It could come off a little creepy. That could come off a little creepy. Do you think so? What type of picture in general for Glennie and in general do you think girls would be attracted to on a dating app? Just a normal picture or something? I like it when a guy takes a picture next to a car that you know is not his. Like he sees a Maserati in a parking lot. He's like, oh, this would be my new Abbey.

This is great. I'm like, yeah, dude, that's not your car. Are you on social media apps? On dating apps? Yeah. No. I was going to say, you're like, I like when he's in the picture. Here's what we do do.

Once in a while, my friends and I, I love to go to Tahoe. So that's like a vacation place. And we'll get an Airbnb and, you know, smoke some weed, if I'm allowed to say that here right now. Sure. Have a couple cocktails. And then I'm like, let's set up a profile. Let's just fuck with people. And it flies.

Like, you know, it's an instant feed. It's like a beach. And then we just start and then I delete it. It's just fun to see what people say. Oh, there's so many guys who are like, it's like a feed. And then we just start, and then I delete it. It's just fun to see what people say. Oh, there's so many guys who are like, it's happening, dude, and then just got better. And it makes Bumble money, because after they spend so many messages, then they have to pay for something else. Yeah, I used to do that with Asa.

I would make Asa fake cats and just sit on them for hours. It's a wild scene. My friends also take my phone, and they'll be like, let me just read your Twitter DMs for a while. I'm like, just read them. You should have a show just called Lisa Ann's DMs and just read them out loud. That's got to be the most entertaining thing in the world.

Good, bad, ugly, whatever. Sexual partners, have you ever been with more than one woman at a time? Of course not. I would love to. That's on my bucket list. I'm up for it. If you had the big dick energy, if he had the big dick energy and he was with a girl who saw it and she wanted to show it off to a friend,

I feel by then you would have been with two women at one time. That's true. That's true. I mean, word of mouth. But how much is word of mouth spread in New York City? There's a lot of millions of people here. I would want to show it off. It's not like we live in like a town with 2,000 people.

You know what I'm saying? We live in a city. Listen, you're working for a big company right now. You are literally balling. This is the peak for you. If I were you, I'd jump on the possibility. Meet a girl. Whip it out.

See, does she have a friend that would like to share it with you? Actually, next time you have a girl, say, unless you bring your friend, take a fucking hike. Two or none. I want to be like Lil Wayne. I want my chicks in twos. Two or none. I might just cut this video and keep it on my phone in case somebody asks me. There you go.

And then just have that show at the bars. Okay, so I'm a little concerned. We don't have as much, but we'll go on to the next one. We'll get back to you. Okay. But thank you for wearing the fedora for me. I'm going to do photos with all of you after this. Yeah, your bum will be popping, bud.

Don't worry. Put that on your profile. Final contestant here. I'm going to put a quote that says, seen it, been there, done that. Loved it. Final contestant was very excited when he heard you were coming in. He actually fist pumped through his hands to the sky.

My man, Zaha. Look at the strap. Look at the strap. That, my friend, is big dick energy. Pop on over here. Case closed. Game over. That was unbelievable.

I thought the pink shorts. Oh, yeah. How's it going? Great to meet you. It's great to meet you, too. Big fan of your fantasy show, by the way. Oh, really? I'm a big fan of your fantasy.

He knows. He knows. He knows. Are you taken at this moment? Do you have a girlfriend? No. I'm as single as a $2 bill. Single as a $2 bill.

You've definitely had two women at one time. Yeah. Once in a while. I knew it! I knew it! Zod just finished up raising a fucking boatload of money for the victims in Zimbabwe from the Typhoon. Cyclone.

So he does good charity work. He came here. He called up my show on the air as a caller and said, I just want to let you guys know we've made it all the way to Zimbabwe. Barstool's big over here. I'm spreading it around my village. And we were like, why don't you come in, say what's up. Next thing you know, got a job. This is fantastic.

Here we are. That is really powerful. Do you still have family there? Oh, yeah. Born and grow. Big move for you. Do you still have family there? Oh, yeah. Born and grow. Big move for you. And with this now, you now can do this again when need be because you have this whole following. Do you follow me on Twitter? Yes, I do. I believe so.

See, there we go. Trent said he didn't, and it was a tense moment. Trent's a big baby, but we should just call Trent Big Baby. Do you have any questions for me? Do I have any questions for you? We meet in the street. We're alone. It's late.

We're just walking two lonely people. We have our moment. Neither of us are really going anywhere. There's no train we're going to make. What would you do in that moment? What would you say? What would I say? Would you just grab my hand and start walking with me?

I would. A walk and talk. I'm a walk and talk kind of guy. Okay, we got big dick energy. We have big dick energy. I thought the pink shorts were blowing me off. No, no, it was a walk. I mean, you walked in like, okay, you walked in.

Yeah, yeah, you've got that. There we go. Well done. Well done, Zah. Great appearance. And congratulations on being so positive for your community. That's fantastic. So out of it, we had Cons, the veteran.

We got... Super nice guy. Trent, big baby. Yep, big baby. Glennie Balls. Yep. And Zah. Zah.

Zah's the winner. 100%. No doubt in my mind. Oh, we have another? Oh! We got a late entry! We got a late entry! Come on, get over here.

This is, we call him Young Mantis. Young Mantis, how are you? How are you? I'm good. Nice to meet you. It's nice to meet you, too. Okay, listen. Lisa, he's got a jet.

He just wants to say goodbye. He's heading out to, he's going to the game. Hey, better late than pregnant. Just tell the game to wait for you. So nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. I hope to see you again soon. I'm sure we will.

So let's talk about your sexual preferences. Have you been with two women at one time? No, I have not. I'm actually, I'm a virgin. Well, we haven't worked this out yet. I actually was not aware. This is a new conversation. I thought everybody knew.

How old are you? 22. Oh, he's still young. Okay, this isn't that. So are we in search of? Are you on any dating apps? Oh, I'm on everything. Okay, he's on everything.

I believe you're moved for a while. I'm just very insecure because I have this physical condition. I don't know if you saw the way I walked in, but I have BDS, and it's called big dick syndrome. And it's just like, it's so big on my back.

I literally walked like this. It's really hard to deal with. It is because you're carrying that thing, right? And it's a lot of extra weight in the way you get dressed and the way you walk. You have to make sure that it's tucked, right? I see that you wear longer shorts. You are prepared. And you're using the Jordan thing to deflect from your big dick in a longer shirt, right?

Yeah. So women are afraid of it. So when he brushes up against him, they feel it. They walk away. I can't handle Young Mantis. That is a problem, but we're going to work on this. We need to at least take him to a strip club. There's sex that happens there.

I would have to imagine. You roll into a strip club with Lisa Ann and I would imagine things go differently. But he does have the dick energy. There's a good tie going on by our last two. Okay. And you know what?

I probably could have told you that ahead of time. If I had to guess... They're like ringers. I mean, you laid that all wrong. Like a bikini contest. They make them get hotter progressively

as the last girl comes out. She's Miss Hawaiian Chopping. Got to build attention, you know? Well done. Nice to meet you. So nice to meet you. Oh, there you go. There you. Nice to meet you. So nice to meet you. Oh, there you go.

There you go. Get in there. I hope you follow me on Twitter so we can talk later. I'm going to get a girl to come and hunt him down out front of here. Wouldn't it be so cute if a girl was just at your front door with roses for him when he walked out of work? Like The Bachelor? Yeah.

Will you accept his rose? Will you accept all of these roses and take me home with you? So cute. My gosh. Well done. Thank you. That was something. A lot of research, you take me home with you. So cute. My gosh. Well done. That was something. A lot of research, you know, in my life. I mean, I think Connor would have done a whole fucking hour with you.

Like, all right, enough, Connor. Let's keep moving. Connor, but you know what? Now I'm going to be listening to foreplay as well. So I'll be stalking him and forcing him to follow. Oh, thank you so much. He came in to tell me he just followed me. I'm so touched.

Amazing. Amazing group you so much. He came in to tell me he just followed me. I'm so touched. Amazing. Amazing group you've got. I would be remiss if I didn't mention, because you had your custom Jordan designed by Rich Franklin, who actually, he makes our clothes. He designs. He's so cool. I mean, he's, that's actually the perfect way to put it. He's just, like, so fucking cool. He's so cool.

I just want to see his place in Philly. And he comes out, and he's wearing this wearing this like black, long, Nike kind of. Yes, the long jackets. No one else can pull that off. He's always saying like, I'll design that for you. I'm like, dude, I can't wear that. No one else can wear it. Make me a t-shirt.

I can't fucking wear a three-quarter length. But he pulls it all off. He looks great in it. So I took in a dress that I wore to host the Urban X Awards back in 2010. And we're cutting that dress apart now to use on part of my new sneaker. Very cool. The first one was the purple-blue. Yes, yes, yes.

I love sneakers, as you can see. I feel like on radio, I'm usually from here up. Why should I struggle and wear heels? That's why I left this table open, so that people could show their sneakers off. Yeah, that's great. I got my kicks on. What do you like?

As far as tangible items, let's say your sneaker, your custom sneaker versus your custom flashlight. I feel like that's kind of like the ultimate when you made it, right? Yeah, the flashlight was something that every girl wants because we get a residual income. And anytime you get a check every month, you don't know what it's going to be. It's exciting, right? Is that big money? It is big money.

It was really big money the first four or five years you have yours. Big money. But then they lost their patent and other companies are doing it. And they brought in a lot of girls. I think there's a stigma still against guy sex toys. But the way they sell makes me think everyone owns one, just doesn't tell their friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But when they first came out, they made a mouth. So you had a mouth, your butt, and your vagina. And the mouth was so creepy. It was just your mouth, right? So I always had a mouth, like any party I'd go to, I'd bring the mouth. I'd have a bunch of pre-rolled joints

and I'd lay them on my lips so people would actually have to walk up to it and touch it because it was just so creepy. And I still have my mouth for that one reason, but they did discontinue it. What a goddamn host. Here's my mouth mold and some weed.

Let's have a fucking blast. You gotta have fun with the creepy I mean that's the only way to do it right I feel like you've embraced it very well I have like when I'm getting to webcam someone texts me what are you doing later I'm like well I'm masturbating on the internet Saturday night you know what I mean

like come on there's something very like liberating empowering however you want to say it about when you talk about what is taboo if you're just like I'll talk about when you talk about what is taboo. If you're just like, I'll talk about sex. You've seen me naked. You've seen me have sex.

I'll talk about who I've hooked up with. I'll talk about numbers. Whatever you want. It doesn't phase me. I feel like you can talk to the most powerful, successful, whatever person, but they're still going to be like, whoa, shit. You let it fucking fly, huh? And you should because this is how I became me.

You know, and there's a very special guy in my life that's been in my life for about 10 years. And we've just been so close and such good friends. And he always says to me every... Romantically, not exclusively. On and off, yeah, yeah. But always the same. But I just don't like... I'm not a relationship person.

I tried it once. I was married in my 20s. I just am a free bird. But what he says to me is, he goes, it's every step that you take in life is what creates how people meet you. So if you turned your back and weren't as excited about everything you've already done,

then it wouldn't make sense. The intersection wouldn't be the same. So I've learned to really embrace it and enjoy it. That's a guy I get down with. Yeah. I can understand why he's been with Lisa Ann for 10 years. Yeah, he's so cool because he just gets it. He says, this is how you're you.

Yeah. But so many people don't. I know that. Because I hear other people's opinions. Neighbors. Yeah, yeah. People who are just like, oh, no, it's her. Yeah.

So many people don't. You just get over that, though? You just don't care anymore? I don't. I mean, we get a lot of heat. I take a lot of personal heat. And eventually, you just, like, I don't care. I guess I still care, but I can't let it, like, stop me. Right. But I wonder, do you reach a point where you genuinely don't care. I guess I still care, but I can't let it like stop me.

But I wonder is that you reach a point where you genuinely don't care or you just genuinely stop letting it affect you. I made a rule when social media started never to check it when I'm either tired or hungry. Like, you know, people want to sit at the airport and waiting for a flight. That's the worst. You're angry. That's when you read a book. And so when I made those rules, it got easier. And sure, some things still bother you.

But like people say things to me to my face sometimes, and I've now been strong enough to say, I get it. What you're projecting is what hasn't happened for you. You know, when I first started with Sirius, I would get nonstop tweets. How do we take fantasy sports advice from a girl who used to take dicks in her ass? And I would write back and say, I'm sorry no one's let you put their dick in her ass. You know, it's not about me. But it is hard.

People say brutal things on a daily basis, right? I mean it. Yes, very much so. That's what's funny. Whenever we get heat from other blogs or other publications that are basically just jealous, they're always like, well, you should see what their fans said to me on Twitter. And I'm like, bro, you should see what those same fans say to me. I hate them more than you. Like I catch it ten times worse than you.

So, yeah, I mean, people can be deep, dark. But I'd imagine, especially doing the sports thing, because there's still a barrier where it's like – The first year was hard. But I do think that sometimes there's some legitimacy to, like, the girl who's like, I love sports. And it's like you're putting on a front. If you like sports, fine.

But if you're like – if it was – I used to be a porn star be a porn star but i like sports and so like i'm not talking about my porn anymore and i'm just doing sports like now you're phony now it's not genuine and when a girl leaves the business and doesn't want to talk about it but she still uses her stage name for all of her profiles i'm like what the fuck what the fuck like you're not using like i'll use jenna jameson as an example because she still gets all this press from the new york post is jenna jameson losing weight on the keto diet like we're still propping up a name that has no relevance in that world so you still want the fame but you don't want what comes with it right what about mia khalifa i feel like she kind of did the same thing she kind of did the same thing and also i don't

like that she's outed so many people in a negative way i think that's unnecessary some of the guys that came into her dm like you got to look at it first. When a guy says, oh, I'm a fan of yours, she would just post that stuff. And I'm like, do you know how much courage it takes for a guy to actually go into your DM and say a compliment? And they did that to be nice. There was nothing offensive about that. So I really didn't like her for that reason. And honestly, I do have to at some point. Now, if you DM me at Khalifa, you're fucking crazy.

So at some point, it's kind of on you. It's like, you know where this is going to go, dude. Why don't you set up your DMs that you can't get DMs from people you don't follow? Right. And why don't, like, come on. Yeah, I mean, yeah, you're going to complain about it, but you love every second of the attention. Can't have it both ways. But it is tough because people are very cruel online.

So when it does bother you, just take a step back and say, maybe I need to take a walk or get a bite to eat. But usually it's you're tired and hungry. That's a good point. That's when it's a shit show. I might employ those rules, to be honest. And I take pictures with guys. If I take pictures with all of you and put them on my Instagram, I've learned to just turn off comments.

Yeah. Just when there's other people, because I don't need the shit flown at you. I can take it. So I just protect anyone who's in a photo with me, and I'm like, no comments on this photo. This is great. Mama bear over here protecting the gang. I love it.

All right. Well, we appreciate you sitting down. Wait. I think we have another one who wants to see if he comments on this photo. This is great. Mama bear over here protecting the gang. I love it. All right. Well, we appreciate you sitting down. Wait, I think we have another one wants to see if he has a big dick. No, no. He's like, oh, I'm all set. We are going to put you to the test and we're going to go do a video called Answer the Internet. So make sure you look out for that because now we're going to get weird. This was the easy portion of the show.

Oh, and listen, Lisa Ann, Fantasy on Mondays on SiriusXM. Okay. This is.