KFC Radio - Luis J. Gomez, Coach Duggs Vs Gaga's Little Monsters, and Pranking Your Girlfriend Gone Wrong

Episode Date: November 3, 2020

Subscribe, Rate, and Leave a Review! -Election Day -What's classy for the rich is trashy for the poor -Coach Duggs and KFC Vs Lady Gaga's Little Monsters -Top 5 Presidents -Voicemails (01:46:30) Luis J Gomez joins the show. We discuss the creation of Legion of Skanks and Gas Digital Network, trying to dose Ari Shaffir, his upcoming MMA Fight, and much more. Let us know what you think on twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @Feitsbarstool @LuisJGomez Catch up on daily videos and full video podcasts www.youtube.com/c/kfcradio Join our Facebook Discussion Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/990412718092363You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. People are like, dude, what if you killed him? I would feel like a god amongst men. If I actually killed him in the first death in MMA, North American MMA, I would feel like, that would be pretty badass. I don't want him to die. I'm just saying that I wouldn't feel bad. That's his own choice.

It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. As you listen to this today, it is Election Day 2020. A day that I didn't think was ever going to get here. And now that it is here, you're starting to realize that it doesn't really matter because, you know, it's one way that nothing's really going to change. So, you know, everyone thought of it as like some end point and it's really not well it's a it's a changing point but it's certainly not the end of goddamn anything

no it's not the end of anything it'll also be interesting if things go the way they're projected to go i suppose which would be a biden win i mean's going to get weird in the last two months. It's basically like you're partying in a hotel room, right? And you're trash in the fucking place. And you're just fucking up. Rock star shit. Everyone on the floor hates you. And then the hotel management comes up and they knock on the door

and you answer it. And they go, listen, we're kicking you out of here. You got two months and then you're gone. Guess what I'm going to do? I'm going to start ripping down walls, bitch! That's what I mean. That's what's so funny is that it's not like an immediate, you know, it's a day of, it's like a line of demarcation, but that's really it, you know?

So it's going to be ugly one way or the other. I mean, I guess. We were just walking here from Broadway, and there's a significant amount of places boarded up already yeah they're bought they're bought and battening down the hatches on this one um which is crazy that it's just like buckle up we might start fucking we're gonna burn shit down again it's gonna get crazy uh especially though when you like when you especially when you walk new york City and it's like you see, like we walked from on Fifth Avenue. There's, you know, like the jewelry stores and the high society, you know, fancy places.

And then you go a couple avenues over when you get into the barstool office and, you know, you're back on like Skid Row. It's all in like a five minute walk. I wouldn't say we're in Skid Row. There's like a homeless person or two. There's a homeless person or 12. I think that I think we have regularly. We have like a homeless person or two. There's a homeless person or twelve. I think we have regularly, we have like two homeless people outside. There are other homeless people in the city,

but I don't think... We have a little block alone. We have a little, like, they make box homes. There's like four that are usually steady. There's the homeless guy. There's the one-legged guy on the rascal. There's the dude who always has his butt crack out. You know that one? I don't know him. You would know him. I mean, I just know him as butt crack guy. There's the woman who's like we used to out you know that one? I don't know him you would know him, I mean I just know him as like butt crack guy

there's the woman who's like, we used to call her the queen of the shantytown yeah but the shantytown's gone yeah well that, well I don't think they're as concentrated but I feel like there's that woman who's I've seen her pre-corona, post-corona I don't know if I know what she looks like I feel like you know, there's a decent amount of them

and then when you get closer to Penn I I mean, I always bring it up, but those guys with the needles in their arms just fucking, they bother me, man. That really fucks with me. I don't like it one bit. Because there's something about the needle that, like, just takes the drug use to a whole other level. Yeah.

You're not, well, I was going to say you're not going to catch, like, rich people or, like, or, you people or put-together people with needles. That's not entirely true, but I feel like that's a pretty good – that's a line that a lot of people don't cross. Well, they don't use it in their arm. You mean the toes? You toe it. You toe it up. Yeah.

There was a girl I know who I went to college with. She said – Which is even worse, if you ask me. It gives me the heat. Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't think it's good just to hide it, she said. Which is even worse, if you ask me. It gives me the heat. Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't think it's good just to hide it, right? Yeah. Yeah.

It's not like it. I feel like it's got to hurt, no? I would almost hurt so fucking bad. I think it's usually because they've used the one in their arms so much, it retracts. Collapse. Collapse. Yeah, but rich people do it to hide it. Yeah.

There are people who collapse it and they just blow out their veins. I feel like heroin is usually like you're addicted and then you can't get your hand. You don't have the money or you can't get your hand on pills, so you take the jump to the cheap shit. But I don't think people start off with that. I don't think so either. But I don't know. I say that. Some people are rich.

Start with marijuana. It's a gateway drug. I went to high school. I went to elementary school in the 90s. I know how you get to heroin. You start start with marijuana could you imagine they were pushing that like yeah if you smoke this joint like one day you'll be doing heroin between your toes get the fuck out of here uh but the there was a a tweet that went viral recently talking about the the things that rich people do that's considered high society, and if you catch a poor person doing it, it's trash, and the drug use is kind of that.

I would argue that any time you're doing needles, you're being trash, but you could catch a crew of Harvard lax bros who are just doing heroin. I don't think it has to be heroin. I don't think it's strictly connected to heroin. I think it's any drug use whatsoever. If you're rich and you do drugs, you are at the party. If you're poor.

Even if you're smoking weed. If you live in a shitty house and you have Doritos next to you smoking weed, it's like, fucking loser. And then if you're a rich person, it's like, yeah, I smoke weed. Oh, he fucking burns, dude. This guy's so cool. It also depends, too, if you get medicinal-grade dispensary weed

versus the shitty schwag off the street. But you're all doing the same thing. You're all smoking the hot leaf, the devil's leaf, trying to get a little high. It's basically everything. That's the answer. What is considered classy if you're rich and trashy if you're poor?

Everything. It doesn't matter what it is. Drugs is particularly great, though. You can have a big pile of blow at a fancy party, and it's like, oh, wow. This is like rappers. You have all the money in the world. This is what you do. And then you can be in the shantytown.

But it's everything. It's like drinking. Anything like smoking. Some poor person so swearing swearing is a big one like if you're like oh like you like this fucking guy said that it's like oh what a trash bag and if you say like oh he's cool like yeah it's like it's all common it's not necessarily rich and poor it is like a cool cool versus like trash sort of right but because i wouldn't necessarily say swearing makes you rich but it does make you like a cool guy if you're well nothing none of it makes you rich it's what it's what you do while you're rich yeah but i think

that's more like it's a cool thing to curse it's a cool thing to smoke cigs right and if you are you know basically any addiction you have and and it really goes back to the Tom Brady thing. It's if you're good-looking, too. Yeah. It's like if you're a good-looking guy smoking a cig. If a good-looking guy pulls a fucking bottle and a brown bag out of his fucking coat and drinks it, it's like, whoa, that guy, he's cool. And a bum does that.

It's like, oh, get your fucking life together. It's 10 a.m. on a Tuesday, dude. And what's the difference? Girls would does that it's like oh get your fucking life on a tuesday what's the difference girls would fuck that guy but not that guy clothes is is one too i feel like you know you can the the jeans and the sneakers that went viral within the past couple years where it's like these are they're intentionally holes in them intentionally scuffed up and you're paying 800 for the gucci 19 uh 100 which I didn't think was that expensive. I don't know what pantyhose usually costs, but Gucci had pantyhose with runs in them that were $190.

And if you saw that at the club and people knew, it would be like, oh, shit, she's got the new Gucci. And if you see them on the street, it's like, oh, that girl's a whore. She's a literal prostitute. She's coming home at 6 a.m. She's a lady of the night. The clothes, the drugs, the – what were some other ones on that? That tweet really did knock it out of the park.

I was saying earlier, though, I was saying that I don't think – I don't know where I stand on addiction nowadays. This should be good. I just don't think there's such a thing i now obviously there is we're joking here but the like i don't believe in addiction it's like if you think addiction is a uh is what a farce as long as you have the means and the time to do it then you're not addicted well that is entirely true right if it comes in on other things well no that's not i mean it's not entirely true but i understand what your point yeah it's like it's a matter of it's like

i'm addicted to water and food, but I can always access it and always get it. I can afford it and I got nothing to do with it, but I have a glass of water. Honestly, food, and I'm not talking about like diabetic people who can actually be addicted to sugar. I'm talking about just food in general. We're all addicted. Yes.

We're all addicted to food. Guess what happens when I don't get it, when I don't get my fix? I get withdrawal symptoms. I get irritable. I get angry. I get nauseous. You know, yeah, because your body needs its fix of food. And I'm addicted to oxygen. fix i get withdrawal symptoms i get irritable i get angry i get nauseous uh you know yeah because your body needs its fix of food and i'm addicted to oxygen you know what happens if i don't breathe

freak out my head starts to hurt my vision goes blurry i might even die okay so i think i but but then you yeah you um you can die from all these things and that would be the x factor you know like yeah you have the means and you get the yeah, you have the means, and you have the access, and you keep doing it, but then you die from it because you're addicted to it. You would die, yeah. Yeah, but I'm going to die anyway. So let's say you overdose one day and die. Overdose from what?

I don't know. Food? I don't know. Drugs? Okay. You have access to all the drugs you want. If you were to overdose and die, would you... I don't know if I have access to all the drugs.

You're not dying. You're not overdosing. You're just dying from life. You just happen to be doing drugs. One time I was buying drugs. This was back in Boston probably like seven years ago. And I was like, yo, man, you get steroids too? He's like, what, dude?

He's like, no. No, I'm selling you cocaine for the party, man. I don't have Prima Bolin on me. Do you do it? I mean, that's got to be the dumbest question. I don't have prima bowling on me. Do you do it? I mean, that's got to be the dumbest question. He was, like, so taken aback. And, like, I honestly didn't think it was a crazy question. I mean, I guess it's like, hey, you're selling illicit shit, so.

You got some fucking. You got the cream to clear? You got that fucking. You got that andro on you? You got that anabolic steroid? What's the word for W? That's the one I've done. Windstraw.

You got a fucking windstraw on you, man? He's like, no. No, we're not a half ounce of weed, you fucking weirdo. I'm not Balco, dude. I sell ecstasy to kids. I'm in Boston. I sell ecstasy to everyone in college. I'm not the Bay Area fucking laboratory company.

Fucking do you have steroids? I would take my drugs back. No. You don't deserve this. You've clearly been over-served. You're asking Carlos for fucking. Carlos would always come in and he'd have one sip of beer

I offered him and he'd leave. Just to be polite? I guess so. You know what's funny? You were like, oh man, I feel like I gotta offer my drug dealer a drink

and that guy leaves and he's like, this one fucking client of mine always offers me a beer and I feel like I have to stay. How many things in this world are being done like that where it's like why don't we just cut them like cut that out yeah i could have once i once i realized that the trend that he was always just having a sip of beer i could have just stopped offering a beer never stopped always just get me like you want a beer

you know it's like yep all right here you go surprise me i'll dump this how about that even by the way uh to go back to the rich people poor poor people thing, like even the buying of the drugs. You know, it's like rich people, you probably, when you get on a certain level, you have either a guy who fetches it for you or you have like a delivery service. But even like rich guys will be like, I gotta go meet this guy like on the corner.

You know what I mean? And I gotta slip it to him. He slips it to me, whatever. When you get real rich, you have like your drug guy, I would imagine, right? Yeah. And that way, if anybody gets caught or anything, you me. Whatever. When you get real rich, you have your drug guy, I would imagine. Yeah. That way, if anybody gets caught or anything, you take the fall. When we were in high school, everybody used to buy weed from this guy named Shakes.

And we went right up and over this bridge into the Bronx. And we were young. We did everything way too young. We would get in the car with him. And he would just drive around the block with us. We were like... Actually, now that I'm thinking of it, I thought of shakes as this drug kingpin. But we were like 16, 17. He was just having kids, hopping his car.

I think that's a pretty regular age for weed, isn't it? Yeah, but I'm just thinking of, I was just jumping in a black fucking SUV with these guys in the Bronx. And just trusting that they were just going to drive around the block andv with these guys in the bronx and just trusting that they were just gonna drive around the block and then leave us back in the parking lot of wendy's and he always did and he always did it was always fine but i was always like i looked back on it and maybe maybe shakes wasn't some fucking manuel noriega type maybe he was just like i don't know like he's probably like he played like a day job it was just like yeah i also sell like dime bags to these kids but in my mind i was like you know part of fucking like sons of anarchy or the shield or something or it was like when you

were running drugs man like dude that actually reminds me of like i remember when i would be so surprised when i was younger when a kid when like someone wouldn't buy me beer if i did like a hey mister like if someone tried to hey mister me right now the moment i turned 21 if you tried to hey mister me but get the fuck out of here that is crazy that like i mean i guess it's also just like a sign of the times but i am not going down for buying kids booze fucking strange kids like you know maybe in like the 90s and early 2000s it was a different story but like nowadays you probably go to like fucking jail if you do that you know yeah that it's it's uh but but remember we talk about like, you know, the rush of fake IDs, buying booze, getting into bars, all that shit. Buying drugs is always pretty cool.

It's always like a little bit of a rush when like I remember buying buying weed from this guy on on the avenue in City Island and like in the park, like his name was fucking Anthony Rivera, which i think i can say because there's like 60,000 anthony riveras but i was like this is but i do remember oh my god the first time i ever bought weed from him he this is back i don't even know if they do this kind of shit anymore or if like i was just so lame i was buying so little but there was like dimes and nicks you know it was like fucking buying like five dollars worth of weed but i was like yo yo yo what is it so a dime bag weed is a ten dollar bag yeah so okay but i didn't know okay so that was like 10 ounce no so that was kind of what i was like but i remember i was like yo like how much for a dime man he was like 10 10 10 how much for this 10 bag bro it was like that was clearly the sign that I was in over my head. That's like Denison D.

One crack please. One crack rock. One rock of crack please. I love when the guy's like $200. But even that, like I know that's a joke, but I was like I don't know how much it was supposed to be. I have – It's supposed to be like $10. It's pretty cheap.

Yeah, right. Well, again, that's one of the differences in the – What do you think crack costs? That's the you know that's to go back to the rich and poor rich people do coke and poor people do crack it's the same fucking drug i think it's cooked up a little bit different but when you hear that someone got caught with crack on them you know it's like dave chappelle you say let's bring some crack on them get the hell out of here johnson but cocaine you know cocaine is you know you're the life of the party you're the club guy you're you know hanging with the beautiful girls you're the life of the party. You're the club guy. You're, you know, hanging with the beautiful girls.

You're doing crack. You consider it a scumbag and a piece of shit. And it's the same goddamn drug. Just what? When you cook up the Coke in the spoon, then it's crack? Is that like the transformation? No, I don't think so. No?

No, I think there's something else that has to be going on before that. You put something else in it? Yeah. I'm so happy. It's like actual rock. It actually doesn't't this actually doesn't have lsd prices of crack yeah there's no uh well i mean it's got everything lsd is five to twenty dollars per hit mushrooms are 20 to 25 each pcp is 20 to 30 per gram like a stem and a cap 25 bucks i guess yeah mushrooms are taken orally and can be grounded into your food the average user consumes an eighth of an ounce

at $20 to $21 a year. That always fucked me up too and everyone knows it's an eighth like an eighth is such a universal thing in drugs with weed and all that and it's like weed and shrooms but I still don't really know how much that's supposed to be $15 to $25 for a dose of MDMA

$100 to $120 for a gram of coke What's the difference between Molly and Ecstasy? What's the difference between Molly and Ecstasy? Anything? Is it just they rebranded it? I mean, when I was in high school, it was Ecstasy. And then when we were at Barstool and I remember when I was in middle school, people were talking about rolling. Yeah, rolling with disco biscuits. Rolling on Ecstasy. Rolling on

X or E. And then all of a sudden it just became Molly. And I was like, well, what the fuck? I'm trying to stay cool here. You can't keep changing the names on me. But the rest of that list, day drinking, so true. If you are a bougie lax bro in college, like day drinking is the best. If you're a bum drunk off a fucking fifth of vodka in the middle of the day, you're a bum. You're a homeless person. Speaking two languages is a great one.

If you are high society, you're fluent. That actually I think is – it's not speaking two languages. It's speaking – if you speak English and or fluent that actually i think is it's not speaking two languages it's speaking if you speak english and spanish people are like you know you you're like an illegal immigrant like nobody's ever saying that like you're trash because you speak like russian and french it's really we're talking about spanish here these are racist people singling out latinos because it's not just two languages it's which two languages no one's ever going to be like you speak french and italian you scumbag uh hard drugs we talk and tax evasion is a great one like tax evasion is so funny you know like the ronaldo's of the world are just like not not doing it not paying them i think i always give the soccer guys credit because it must be so

i guess it's i mean really it's on their accountant. But like soccer when you're playing in so many different countries and play – It's got to be very hard. It's got to be impossible. Yeah, you're getting taxed by like 10 different entities. Right. Like I don't know. I fucked up.

I forgot to pay my fucking French tax this year. I forgot to pay my Russian tax. I played one game in this one random country. I feel like unless you are know like the situation and whatever he was doing where it's like clearly a scam to get one over on the government i've i'm a huge fan of not shooting yourself in the foot i feel like as i understand it ordinarily the punishment is like all right just pay your fucking taxes yeah like we caught you there was a problem now back pay and get it done why not

take my chances like maybe they'll probably catch you but maybe they never will and as long as the first thing is like we'll give you a chance to repay it as long as it's not like you go to jail right away why not just be like catch me if you can motherfuckers i'll give i love john mcafee uh john mcafee yes yeah he was like i i owed 50 million dollars in taxes and i was not receiving 50 billion dollars worth of services like that's what taxes are for i i pay you and you provide you know me with society's societal stuff and he was like you're not doing that so i'm not paying it i was like you know what i don't think that's how it works john but i respect you trying to make this argument it's like until you actually provide what you're talking about, I'm not going to pay you.

Come catch me. Also, I don't fucking listen to anything John McAfee has to say, because that motherfucker owes us a dick. Until he eats a dick. Yeah. Eat a fucking dick. Eat your own dick, John McAfee, because that's what you said. The problem is he said his own dick. Yeah.

Right? Because, like, if he said, I'll eat a dick, like, you can do, like, pig dick, or, uh, what do they do on Hard Factor? Uh, not Hard Factor. X, what's the fucking show? Fear Factor. You know, the eight testicles, and you can, like pig or uh what are they doing hard fact uh not hard factor x what's the fucking show you know that in the eight testicles and yeah you know he probably could pull that bet off and and pay his debt and if he did that i mean now he's probably going to jail whatever but if he did that now he would be a legend like an internet legend like he's man he's a man of his word john mcafee ate a dick but he said his dick yeah you gotta eat your own fucking dick john now

what if john mcafee could suck his own dick, as we often talk about on the show, would that clear him of his debt in your mind? I think he would. I'm not gonna be a stickler. I think of eat, like, I'll eat this dick. Like, it depends. If I said you eat a dick, I'm not talking about, like, 9-4. I'm talking about suck a dick, you know? So, under that

framework, I'd allow him to pay his debt to society. He lives in the Caribbean, right? He fucking must be flexible. Oh, that dude. Wait. I agree with you, John. John McAfee's probably flexible.

I don't think. You live by the water. You fucking stretch. You do yoga, that kind of shit. He lives in the Caribbean. He must be flexible. Yeah. I think that makes perfect sense.

I don't think I'm the ridiculous. I don't think I'm being ridiculous. I think you are. I think most Caribbean people, most people who live in the Caribbean. Look at that picture, by the way. That guy can suck his own dick. That's a guy who sucks his own dick. Most people who live in the Caribbean are flexible.

He drinks a lot of coconut juice. Yeah. He plays in the sand a lot. All these things just scream flexibility. You're not wrong. I know I'm not wrong. I mean, like, you're not right. That's the area I like to live in.

You're thinking you're more right than you are, but you're not wrong. Yeah. Find me a Caribbean person who's not flexible. I mean, I bet we could, but off the top of my head, put it this way. Caribbean people are at least inclined to be more flexible than you are. More flexible than someone who lives in Montana, no doubt. I don't know about that. I think Montana, you've got to pick people who are...

Montana, you're hiking and shit. Iowa. I think like some fat Midwest places. Some cold Midwest... What did you just Google? Nick just Googled fat people in the Caribbean. Just to fucking disprove you. That's exactly what I Googled.

But those people aren't... That's Dougs and Tank in the Caribbean together. They're on vacation in the Caribbean. Just to fucking disprove you. That's exactly what I could. But those people aren't. That's Dougs and Tank in the Caribbean together. They're on vacation in the Caribbean. That's a completely different story. People on vacation in the Caribbean are fat assholes. But people who live in the Caribbean are. Those guys, no doubt, are spending the day at the island off their cruise. Yeah.

Oh, no. I was going to say they're at Atlantis right now, but they're staying at the holiday end on the street. They're staying in Nassau at the Radisson. They're staying at the Radisson on Nassau Beach, and they do day trips to the Atlantis right now, but they're staying at the Holiday Inn down the street. Yeah, they're staying in Nassau at the Radisson. They're staying at the Radisson on Nassau Beach, and they do day trips to the Atlantis. Oh, yeah, actually, they're in Eleuthera. Yep, there you go. That's a plus-size resort.

It's called the Resort Eleuthera. Honestly, that's a great move. For the 18 to 30 stone crowd? Yeah, that's how they measure people. I thought it was just fat 18 to 30-year-olds. No, that means 18 to 30 stones. Yeah, which is a weird way to measure people's weight. You know?

Fuck, they put it in kilograms. 190 kilograms, I think, is like 250 pounds. No! 300 pounds? That's the max? 250? No, wait, wait, wait. 190 kilograms

has got to be like 300 pounds, right? 418. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, you a fatty. You a fat boy. You a fucking... Look at those rolls.

But that's a great idea. I think if I was fat, I would be on Dating House for Fat People. I would go to the fat resorts. I would just be a fat. Yeah, I mean, definitely. Stop trying to be skinny. I was going to say you could lose weight, but that's not necessary.

No, that's what I mean. Not when there's a fat world. Imagine you could just transplant yourself to a place where everyone had your deformities, I guess. If I could just hang out in the... Fat people, we love you. You're not deformed. I don't have to turn this into my own. I was gonna...

Like, my nose. Yeah. Like, if I could just hang out with people who, like, were my weight and had my nose... It's called the Midwest. Like, I'd be pretty fucking good.

I think if you put me with people who are only at my level of attractiveness... You'd be a 10. I think I'd come out okay. Well, that's like... It's like being... It's like joining the senior tour in golf. Right when you're 59 you stink and you're 60 all of a sudden you're the bell of the ball you go to the retirement gang and you're still hitting the

ball 250 yards you're you know you're you're a rock star it's like going to um i remember where was this i think it was like a true life or a maid or one of those mtv type docs i think it was like uh true life i go to fat camp and there was a girl like within fat camp it's just it's the same thing it's like mean girls like there was like i'm i'm not that fat so i'm like the prom queen and she was a bitch you know she was like mean to everybody who was fatter than her even though she was pretty fat so as long as you are it's like you know in the one-eyed in the land of the blind the one-eyed man is is king yeah and i would i i'm very confident if everyone was like say you only let sixes into this building guess who's the hottest guy you're six and a half you're a ten it's me you become a

ten i would be one i would fuck all those ugly bitches that's what that's what sucks about all of those hot girl all of those ugly girls would want me. That's why, you know, we're living in the wrong place. I forgot that both sexes would be that ugly. I think if you just made all the guys as ugly as me, the girls could stay whatever. So we need a world where there are very attractive girls who are simply stuck with sixes. And then they will pick you to fuck. There I shall reign. Upon this rock!

That's why, you know, we're in the wrong place, man. Like, New York is filled with a lot of hot people. Like, New York and L.A. and Miami, it's like, we should be living in, you know, the Midwest. We'd be hot as shit!

We would be. What's Boston? Is Boston good looking? No. Yeah, so you should have stayed in Boston. You would be a rock in Boston. Yeah. You would be a rock in Boston, man.

You would be a rock star. You'd be a smoke. I don't know why I came here. What would you rather have? Like success and stuff? Or occasionally have sex with a girl who's slightly better looking than you? Back to Boston it is! All right, it is Election Day. This is our Election Day episode.

It's brought to you by Miller Lite. I feel like people are going to need a lot of these. No matter what side you're on, and especially if you're in the middle, you know, if you're in the middle, you lose. That's what sucks. The rational people in the middle

are going to suffer the most. Because, at least, if you're in the middle, you lose. That's what sucks. The rational people in the middle are going to suffer the most. Because at least if you're on the extremes, you have a chance of extreme unhappiness. But you also have a chance of your team won the championship, basically. If you're in the middle, you're like, this sucks no matter what. It's more risky if you're a big-time liberal or conservative. It's all or nothing. Whereas for us, it's just middle of the road. So either way, if your guy wins, you're going to celebrate with Miller Lite.

If your guy loses, you're going to drown your sorrows in Miller Lite. And if you're in the middle, you just need somebody to take the edge off because, God damn it, does this suck. And that's what Miller Lite does. It makes shitty situations better. It makes good situations great. It makes good situations great. It makes, it takes a normal light and makes it into a memorable one. And it's always there for you.

Rain or shine, red or blue, left or right, whatever. Miller Lite's always got you. You don't even have to go out anymore. You don't even, you used to have to go to a bar. You used to have to go out to the store to get some. Now you can get it just delivered right to your door when you go to MillerLite.com slash KFC, all the delivery options near you, send it right to your door.

It's great taste. It's less filling. And you're not going to become one of those fats. You're not going to have to worry about going to fat people resorts only. You're not going to have to worry about weighing 30 stone. Still going to have this fucking nose, though. The nose is not going anywhere, John. Sorry.

But the Miller Lite is only going anywhere, John. Sorry. But the Miller Lite is only 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. It's brewed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. So that's like what we're talking about. That's the land that we're talking about. But they keep you trim. They keep you slim. And they give you that good-tasting beer to make sure that you enjoy yourself or can make a complicated situation less complex, make a fun one,

an unforgettable one. It's Miller Lite, brewed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Miller Brewing Company, 96 calories, 3.2 carbs for 12 ounces. Celebrate responsibly. Go to MillerLite.com slash KFC. Do you think we are... Do you think that one thing we can maybe hope to see less of now is... Like, will the celebrities stop?

I feel like they've made their push. They made their pitch. They made their movies about, their videos about vote and vote for this person. I mean, you can't do that anymore. You can still make videos and talk your talk, but at least we will put an end to the, like, go vote and vote for this person. Not just for, like, this. Well, yeah, they'll stop for now because there's no more voting to do. Right.

But do you think that they will like just stop or do you think it'll just transition to something else? No, they still got a pandemic to fall back on. Yeah, that's true. Right now, right now, they're just like, all right, let's get back to the masks. Let's start making videos about the masks. The Lady Gaga one to me, as we record this, you know, there's still a lot of time left to get your dumb ass videos in if you are a celebrity. The Lady Gaga one, I don't even think i quite understood it was it supposed to be like you can drive a truck and drink beer and still vote for biden i didn't understand it at even a little yeah lady gaga like in a cowgirl like daisy dukes outfit awkwardly i thought she was in camo

was she i thought she i'm closing my eyes and i'm just picturing like a crop top and short shorts she definitely had a crop top but i feel like it was all camo. She had camo pants. Her – how awkward was she trying to lean on that truck when she was, like – had her arm up, but it was too high? Like, you're definitely not comfortable on that Lady Gaga. So she's in her camo. She's got, like, a cowboy hat on or a trucker hat on or something, right? And she's drinking.

And then she's like, look, I drink beer, but she can't really drink the beer. She just takes a sip of it. And she does that thing where she like leans forward in case she spills it. And then she spikes the beer. She spikes a full beer. And she tells you that she's going to be in one of the states. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? I didn't understand.

Like, I was like, am I the idiot here? Or is that video that bad? Because it's just like satire or some message that I can't figure out. Or does this video actually suck that bad in this in this election season to have the title of like worst video is saying something. We saw Josh Gad, God love him. We saw his naked ass bent over telling you to vote by mail. We had the fucking morons on YouTube get naked for Biden. We had, I mean,

every, we had the Aaron Paul racism video. We had the Imagine video. We've had everything that you can imagine as far as bad tone deaf patronizing and obnoxious videos. You think this one was the worst? I mean, it's bad by far, but I think the fucking Imagine is tough to beat.

Because that was the first, like now we've got to expect it. But I think the fucking Imagine is tough to beat. Because that was the first. Now we've got to expect it. But I think this is the worst. That is an understandable, like a PR firm got behind that and was like, we are making this video. What, the Imagine? Yeah. No, that was Gal Gadot's idea. That wasn't like a...

No, it was just Gal Gadot. As far as I understand it. I thought that was going to be like all those people just did it themselves. Yeah, like Gal Gadot reached out to him and was like, hey, we get this idea. Because Lady Gaga just being like whoever filmed that and them being like nailed it. That to me is crazy. Like at least they pulled off their – And this is like something we kind of do.

Not videos like that, but we have people film things and it's like, ah, that didn't really work. Fuck it. And we watch it back. I just scrap it. Never mind. Yeah. To not think that's scrap worthy that imagine video they they pulled off i i don't i they they didn't they did not gauge the response well but it was like all right they did like the imagine thing that video from gaga is like i mean everything about it like

she wasn't like oh i i gotta really chug the beer. Let me do that again. Or maybe I shouldn't try to put my elbow on something that's higher than my body. She tried to do a lean on something that was above it. The whole thing was so bad that her and whoever filmed it, they were definitely – I mean, I guess that's when you get that famous and you have this – we're seeing now – if you have a legion of fans that have – if you have a name to your fans, you probably feel like you can do no wrong. Because those monsters,

what's that? Like Luis Gomez on the show, the legion of skanks, the skankonia fans, the, they, but they are like, you know, that's a fan base that I think would also call those guys out if they were like, this was fucking stupid. The monsters

or whatever they call, isn't that Lady Gaga's The Monsters? Yeah, I think it's just Monsters. The Monsters. I mean, they're going after Coach Duggs now. Duggs made a great video. Duggs made a spoof video. He's got a fucking set of tits on him.

You've got some fucking titties, Duggs. Like, Duggs goes to the resort in Eleuthera, and they make him step on a scale before he gets in. You might have to go to the next grade. I love Duggs. Just a big fella though. A big boy. A lot of man on him. It's a big old boy. But I love that his

message of just like, hey, on election day, why don't you mind your fucking business? It's a great message. I think more people could take that message going forward every four years. But he made that video, put it out, and he's getting floated with like German satanic Lady Gaga fans to the point that I tweeted just like making sure people saw this video. And now I'm in the mix. And I've seen it all from the Serbians to the Hondurans, the blind people, the Italians, the Jews. I mean, I have gone with every country, ethnicity, whatever.

I have gone toe-to-toe with all of them. These Lady Gaga witches are prolific. When did you first reply? Last night? This morning at 7 a.m. That's also what's crazy too is like I figured – I mean, look at these weird like pentagrams with the blood and the tattoos and the satanic worshiping. And they're and they are relentless.

I mean, they and they and they use this language that I don't even know what it is. That down there. Yeah. Like, I've never even seen that. What is that? Is that Hebrew or is that African? Well, this one's Hindi. I saw another one.

I saw Aramaic earlier. Aramaic is scary. I don't fuck with Aramaic. Isn't that like some Bible shit? If you're speaking in Aramaic, you're... I don't think I've ever heard of Aramaic. Yeah, I think Aramaic is like when you've got the stigmata coming out of you, you speak in tongues, you're talking Aramaic.

What? Oh, yeah. So where is our Aramaic based out of you you like speak in tongues you're talking aramaic what oh yeah so where is it where is our aramaic based out of uh our our language of jesus yeah i think it's like some old school jerusalem you know actual rooted in religious type of scary shit dude i i i've never heard of this language yeah it's it's, it's no good. No bueno. You see Aramarek, you run for the fucking hills, man.

And now I think it's all just used by, like, you know, crazy religious zealots. It's spoken in a time period that I don't even know what that means. What is it? 700 BCE to 600 CE? Yeah, BCE and CE is just in a way doing BC and AD now Oh really Before the common era and after the common era It's like the non-religious version

I think the demarcation is still Jesus' birth But I think Some people don't want to It's like separation church and state type shit That's bizarre But yeah some old school dark shit Look at these creepy fucking GIFs Those are my mentions But yeah, some old school dark shit. And look at these creepy fucking gifs and stuff.

Yeah, those are my mentions. My mentions were just for mentioning Doug's. Like, I didn't really even say anything about Gaga. I don't think. Maybe I did trash. Oh, no, I did. Okay, okay. I forgot.

I sent a video about Gaga saying, what the fuck is this? So I'm kind of in the mix, too. But, I mean, that one is just a picture of Lady Gaga bathing. Like, a man is just bathing in blood, I think. And it's Lady Gaga. I mean, it's clearly like it's either a human sacrifice or like one of those like eat sushi off of a naked body. Whatever it is, she's eating it. Yeah.

So maybe it's blood. Gaga's a weirdo. Gaga's a weird one. But I mean, think about Coach Duggs. What's his real name? We should probably call him by his real name. No? No?

Okay, he's Duggs. Two minutes ago real name? We should probably call him by his real name, no? No? Okay, he's Duggs. Two minutes ago, I don't even know what he's doing. I don't know what that man's doing other than opening up packages of baseball cards and watching sports and watching and listening to the occasional, you know, Barstool podcast and video. And then talk about a goddamn whirlwind. He has a job. He moves here.

And now he's being attacked by devil worship. By the way, what does that mean? Fordham ass. What? We got three now. Wait, what?

Doug's went to FSU. Me, Doug's and Dion. Oh, bro. Fordham rolls. So goddamn deep. There's like 20 of us.

There are so many. There's so many Fordham kids. I would guess I would guess FSU's two now. We know what's unbelievable is Tommy Scabelli trying to act like he's the top of the Fordham coaching tree. He's like, my coaching tree is like unparalleled. I'm like, it goes

higher. It goes to me. Your tree, your branch is below my branch, Tommy. Fucking idiot. There are so many of you guys and and we lost a couple i matt browner used to be a fordham guy i think there was another i think that's the other thing too is like there's a decent amount behind the scenes sales people you don't realize uh but yeah fordham rolls fucking t man you know why because we're just normal people that's what i will give fordham just normal ass people it's not a fun time

nothing exceptional absolutely not regular people it's not fun we're not good at sports not a great party scene uh not like ugly but certainly not like hot chicks and hot people no frats or sororities uh sports spay like i said but like there's some bars and some drinking and some normal ass people and that's what always thrives here at barcelona just normal yeah yeah and that's why we go to war with these fucking wackos you know like all right let's do it satanic cult let's fucking do it because i'm representing for the normals out here someone's got to do it someone's got to do it here on election day vote for the normals man all right let's get into our top fives here. Top five today in honor of Election Day. We're going to do top five presidents.

We're going to get our history hyenas on here. We'll play a little Chrissy D and Giannis role playing. Me and John will give you the top five presidents of all time. I'll tell you what, I don't think I can name more than ten. I can name a bunch of them. I can't tell you what maybe we'll do that as well maybe we'll do our top fives then we'll just try to like after we're done with us 10 we'll just try to see how many more we can rattle off see if we can get to all what 45 right

so yeah i was gonna guess 50 but that states 45 45 that's a little projection about how this is about to go uh it's brought to you by viore viore is uh it's a new advertiser for us who is uh is doing god's work out here because nowadays in general prior to the pandemic the world was headed this direction anyway but now certainly we're moving towards the world of comfortable and functional apparel where it's cozy, but it's stylish. You can wear it to the gym, but you can wear it to work. You can wear it out on a date. You can wear it when you're hanging with the guys. You can, you know, whether you're active or not active, they've got you covered with a new perspective on performance apparel. Viore means mountain.

So that represents the view from the summit, as they say. The folks over at Viore are looking from the top, and they are providing you with... Like you on the Fordham coaching tree. You're goddamn right! Top of the tree. With a new perspective on performance apparel, where it's designed to work and work out in, but also doesn't look like it or feel like it.

So it doesn't look like, you know, you should be walking around the gym with a gallon of milk, a gallon of water, and those, like, cutoff gloves. This is like you can wear it anywhere. The streets of Manhattan to the breweries of Milwaukee, they've got you covered with comfortable and stylish, versatile clothing. Everyday life inside the gym, outside the gym, and perfect for any workout activity or any time you're just lounging on the couch. Go to Viori.com, V-U-O-R-I.com slash KFC and get 20% off your first purchase. That's Viori.com slash KFC, V-U-O-R-I dot com slash KFC. Free shipping to any of the U.S. orders over $75 and free returns. And that 20% off when you go to viore.com.

Discover the versatility of Viore clothing. All right, top five presidents. You want to start us off or what? You want me to start us off or you want to go here? Okay. Sure. It'll be me. I definitively know

what I'm talking about. Yeah. Are you looking at a list or are you going off the top? I was looking at a list. I'll go off the top now. Okay. Number one is

William Henry Harrison. That's an easy one. I didn't even know that one. You don't know William Henry Harrison? No. William Henry Harrison is the guy who died right away. That's probably why I didn't didn't even know that one. You don't know William Henry Harrison? No. William Henry Harrison is the guy who died right away.

That's probably why I didn't know. I think he died 30 days into his presidency. But not like assassinated and he just got old and died. No, he didn't want to, he didn't wear, at his inaugural address,

he, it was raining and he didn't want to wear a jacket because he thought it made him look weak. Caught a cold and died. So he caught the flu

and died. You know what makes you look weak? Dying! Bro, think about that. The world is just so goddamn different now where it's just like, what year was that? 1860. Like early 18s?

No, it's not 1860. That's Andrew Jackson's age. 1841. But not far off. Okay. But like, the public was maybe worried that the president would catch the flu and die. That is nuts. I mean, we kind of just did that.

Yeah. The president caught the flu like he might die. Right. Well, it's not the flu. It's whatever. But you know what I mean. Look at this fucking Johnny Truth or over here. It's just like the flu.

We just did that. I had someone say it to me recently. You can't do that anymore. I'm about to say something that's pretty shitty because we were talking about maybe going back into lockdown. I'm saying something pretty shitty. The flu still kills more people. And I was like, that argument went out the window in like april that window that went out the window like a million people jesus christ okay that person works here by the way

that person is a barstool sports employee is it a female it sure is yeah that way you did that i was like that is a female who works for marstool interesting does not take a detective she was like okay okay yeah never mind you in her to her credit she didn't stand her ground she's like yeah i was you're right okay okay to her credit she backed down like a pussy um my number one pick uh benjamin franklin I know he's not a president my number one pick is Benjamin Franklin

my number one president of all time is a non-president that dude was fucking awesome he was fat he was gross he somehow

fucked bitches he invented electricity I know it doesn't make sense but he invented it he discovered electricity he's the he's no

did he did he figure out how to no that's why that's why I think it's funny that's why I picked invented it. He discovered electricity. No, right. Did he, did he figure out how to, did he like figure out how to use it? No, that's why, that's why I think it's funny. That's why I picked him. It's like,

people say he like invented electricity. Like he's a Roman God, but it comes from his fingertips. He just like, you know, got struck by lightning. Also, that whole story is fucking bullshit.

The key and the, he was flying a kite with a key attached. What kind of lunatic does that? Totally. I'm pretty sure that's definitively fake. Okay. Yeah. No,

but you think about all these things, like, all of these stories. I was watching something the other day about the midnight ride of Paul Revere. The dude who wrote the poem, like, it was some other dude named, like, Zach Smith. And he was like, yeah, Revere rhymes with a bunch of shit. So I said it was Paul Revere. Paul Revere didn't really fucking do the bridge or something? He was, like, a part of it. But he was not the dude.

It was just, like, Revere rhymes with whatever, like, come along children, let me, whatever, however the main poem goes, there's something right off the top that rhymes with Revere, like clear or something like that. He was like, yeah, I need it to rhyme. Really? So you just think about all these stories and all these history books. Zach Smith got fucking

boomed. Yeah, he got the raw deal. I don't know why I said Zach Smith. It was like Zach and Smith, like whatever. but yeah so like you think about those things where it's like i don't know something probably happened with a kite one day and something electricity and all of a sudden it turns into this fucking thing you know where he's like doc brown with the flux capacitor dude that's like i mean you're just like you just have the idea that lightning yeah electricity like i gotta make up a story basically basically it's basically like you knew the answer and like a test, and they made you show you're working.

I don't know. You reverse engineered some shit. Or as far as we know. Yeah, we were flying a kite in a rainstorm. Ben Franklin could have been shit-faced with a couple of French whores and was outside like, let me show you girls what's up. We're going to fly this fucking kite. He was like, holy shit. This party got a little out of hand.

We got struck by lightning. Ben Franklin is just Ron Jeremy with better PR. That's it. Good guy. He's a genius. out he was like holy shit this party got a little out of hand we got struck by lightning ben ben franklin is just ron jeremy with better pr good guy he's a genius he's fucking brilliant he does no he's a fucking cannonball with a mullet and have fucking apparently a piece apparently that's it which you know eventually rotted off of his fucking sex addicted body it rotted off him i'm see make it up history man and i i will have to say even though it's my number one pick i mean goddamn daylight savings once you have a kid is just a fucking fiasco either direction you're either bedtime is either a fucking nightmare

yeah oh and and then uh or like you know somebody some some asshole like i said yesterday or two days ago whatever it was i said like fuck daylight savings or two days ago, whatever it was, I said like, fuck Daylight Savings. And someone was like, why? Because it means like another hour with your kids. And I was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I have, you know, the exact amount of time from wake up to from wake up out of bed to get back in bed. And anything that extends that or fucks with it in any way, it's chaos.

So, yeah. So, I'm not in on that. I might move to Arizona one day and just live. That's one of the most under-discussed, bizarre things in the world. Arizona just saying, fuck it. Arizona's just like, nah. I love it. We do not partake.

Imagine being in one of the, if you live right on the border, and you have to work in a different state. Yeah, I mean, you could have a two-hour swing. I would never get used to that. Yeah, never. I don't know. There's a scene in 30 Rock when Tracy Jordan is always late for work. So they always try and do things to make him think.

And they're all like saying, well, I put his clock back. And well, I called him and told him to shoot it this time. And someone else, well, I did this. And he comes downstairs and he goes, what damn time is it? I just brought my kid to his music recital at what turned out to be midnight yesterday. That's Arizona. That's making shit up. Everyone in Arizona is like, what fucking time is it?

Like if they just didn't participate in other things, it was just like, no, no, no. February is 31 days. We don't like this bullshit. It makes no sense that there's a month with 28 days. We're not going to do it. It's February 31st here in Arizona. Fuck March 2nd. That would be fucking unbelievable.

I think that not doing the daylight savings is cowardly. But I think if you go all the way in, you're like, no, we do everything. Why are months different days? Every month is 30 days. Have you ever seen the proposed, I think it's 10 months at 30 days each there's like a calendar that and and the way it works out is every single day of the week like the the every number of the month is always the same day so like your schedule would just be so easy you'd be like every the thursday is always

the 15th it's always like it's always set. So you just know all the time. Rather than this dumb shit we got emperors making up months for their own fucking... Why do we have 365 days? I don't know. I mean, I do know that emperors just... Like, you know, August was for like Augustus Caesar or whatever, right? How long it takes to go around the sun once. But it...

No, but... That's true, but like the calendar used to not be as many months, right? So it used to not be based on 365, right? Yeah, I think Caesar and Augusta. They added July is for Julius Caesar and August for Augustus or whatever. October for Octavius. Yeah, so it's like we used to have like six months. These motherfuckers just adding.

That's a power move. If I was president, I'd be like, I'm giving myself a month. All right, second pick. All right, number two. Boy, this is getting hard. We've literally named one. One president. I am going to go.

Right now, between our two picks, we have about 30 days of presidential being a president. Yeah. We have exactly 30 days. All right. I'm going to go. I'll go FDR. Because FDR was the one who gave himself another term, right? Yes.

That's a power move. That was going to be my pick, and that was going to be my reason. Really? And, like, people talk about it with Trump. Like, he's never going to leave. He's going to, like, declare himself king. And I think it was because it was, like, during World World War II and they were like, we can't be doing elections in the middle of this. But the fact that

he just gave himself four turns. Why couldn't you do elections in the middle of World War II? I actually don't know that. The war wasn't happening here. Yeah, I think they were just basically like, we don't need a change in administration in the middle of this, would be my guess. I don't know. But it is crazy. I'll tell you what, we've handled it pretty well for the last 20 years. Every other time.

There's been a whole bunch of fucking wars. We've been at war for 20 years. We're just like, yeah. Roll it over. Who's next? Rolling it over. As you know, there's a lot of shit going on in the Middle East. Wasn't even my call.

Right. But as if the next cat would have come in and been like, we're pulling out. We're letting Hitler do his thing. I don't agree with this war. Fuck off. I don't have to do it. The Nazis are. They made a couple good points.

And also didn't. What's his face? Dropped the bomb. So FDR wasn't even president throughout the whole thing. So they did eventually. Yeah, wasn't. Didn't Truman drop the bomb? Really?

Yeah. Yeah. So he must have caught. Imagine that. You come in relatively. No, definitively at the tail end of this thing. And you're like, fucking drop the bomb and wrap this up. I don't want to be a president during this World War shit.

Wrap it up. Wrap that shit up, B. I got presidential shit to do. Fuck off. All right, so I'm going to go with JFK. Ah, fuck. That's a good one. Yeah, especially.

I figured you were going to go with him because, you know, Massachusetts. I like my presidents who don't get assassinated. Fucking, like, next time, don't get your head blown off. Isn't there something that he, like, wanted the top down? Wasn't he, like, I want to show the people? No, I think it was just it was supposed to rain that day. And it just didn't. And it didn't.

Had it rained, they would have had the, like, bulletproof bubble up. That's another crazy one. I mean, everything here is complete speculation. Completely made up. Like, I crazy one. Everything here is complete speculation. Completely made up. I heard a homeless guy muttering it once. My favorite thing in the world. Maybe I'm handing you a pick here. It's not my favorite thing in the world.

It's a crazy thing to say. It's just factoids. My favorite little tidbit in history is all the Lincoln and Kennedy things. You know those like so um lee harvey oswald shot him from a warehouse and then he ran and hid in a theater right john wilkes booth shot him in a theater and ran to a warehouse and kennedy's assistant was named lincoln lincoln's assistant was named kennedy and that that that that that all those things

those aren't true there oh really the same show that I learned about Paul Revere like one of them is true. I think the warehouse thing might be true. The rest, there's like nobody named Kennedy, nobody named Lincoln. They were supposed to be like born on the same day or something like that's not true. It was the guy who shot, Kennedy was a three-namer too, right? Yeah, but see

I think that is like Who was it who shot Kennedy? Kennedy was Lee Harvey well, supposed to be Lee Harvey Oswald if you believe it. John Wilkes Booth shot. John Wilkes Booth, OK. But I also think that everybody has three – Even if you go by it, like you're a psycho. Yeah, OK.

So that's what I always wondered. I thought though that maybe they do that when you commit a crime to specify – like there's multiple Kevin Clancy's. So if I'm the one who killed you, let's say it's Kevin Francis Clancy do they say that to differentiate or is it that those guys all go by three names? No because there are plenty of people who just are murderers. Because you're right if you're a three namer you are

crazy. Agreed. John Henry Feinberg. The shoe fits. Alright you're up. Three yeah I guess I'll rip Lincoln. I just said I like my presidents who don't get assassinated. By the way, I like my presidents who do. Yeah.

I think that's like, pow. Yeah, it's like my rock star. Boss move. Yeah. Die young and leave a good-looking corpse. Die young and leave in the fucking history books with a chapter about you. Was Lincoln wearing his hat at the play? That's a great question.

I bet not. I feel like you get inside, you take your hat off. Yeah. You can't wear a top hat at the theater. Especially when you're seven feet tall. Yeah. That guy had Marfan syndrome. One of my buddies had Marfan syndrome.

What's that? Like everything's elongated. That's why he looked like he looked. Really? Long neck, long fingers. No, maybe. Made up. I don't know.

No, I believe it to be true, but maybe. So how about this? For the rest of this, we can't ask really. I am trying to speak the truth, but I don't know if it is. But I'm pretty sure Google is coming. Abraham Lincoln wore a fancy hat. And in which case, I agree with John Wilkes Booth. Put your fucking hat down, dude. I can't fucking see, man.

You're fucking 100 feet tall and you're wearing a four-foot hat? Get the fuck out of here. I'm trying to watch a goddamn play, bro. I do, again, it's a great pick for you. Like, a president who has a fashion statement, like, you see top hat? It's Abe, you know? And the chops, too, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And, you know, eight feet tall. In a time where everyone was, like, four feet tall. Yeah. I'm surprised that they weren't, like, you know what, he's king. Yeah. Like, this guy is clearly something better than us. So he's just. Well, it's because he was weird looking.

Imagine if someone was running for president now and they were nine feet tall. Right. You'd be like, we have to elect him. Yeah. Okay. He's an alien. Yeah. I guess let's not piss him off.

I love all the, doesn't he, you know, he gets so much credit for the emancipation. But like, wasn't he kind of like, I mean, I guess we'll like set him free. Oh, he was like, I don't give a shit. Right. like he's like we just need to be a union yeah you guys gotta decide are we doing you lost the war so like slaves are we doing no slaves fight it out amongst yourselves yeah you figure it out with 160 000 dead bodies like whatever how about um john wilkes booth just didn't he like just pop his hand and pow like he just like like point blank that shit with like a musket yeah imagine if you like, point blank that shit with, like, a musket. Yeah. Imagine if he, like, gave point blank to the president.

Yeah. Like, that's crazy, man. Like, they, I wonder if that was the moment they were like, I gotta protect this guy. They used to give speeches on literal stumps. So they're called stump speeches. They're like, you just, like, okay, we just chopped down a tree. Why don't you just stand up on this?

Abe probably didn't even need it. He's already taught. Wasn't Washington, fuck. That's my pick? Washington. Wasn't he way bigger than the average people? Yes, definitively. I'm pretty sure he really was. I love cutting down trees. And not telling lies.

Actually, him and Lincoln both chopped down cherry trees. That's what I thought. And I think they both didn't tell a lie. Except the fact that they lied about chopping down cherry trees. What a weird thing. Like, son, did you chop down that cherry tree? It's like, no. Why are you chopping down trees?

What the fuck's going on? How about I just pick the cherries off it, and we'll let it grow more? Yeah, we don't need to chop the whole goddamn thing down. Like, why don't you do something like, like when you're running around as a kid, like that's how you cause mischief, you chop down trees?

Why don't you like fuck girls and do weird, like normal shit? Steal like my liquor out of the cabinet. My dog had wooden teeth, that's why he fucked girls. Those fucking wooden teeth, man. Those are some, that's, that. Steal, like, my liquor out of the cabinet. My locker had wooden teeth. That's why I didn't fuck girls. Those fucking wooden teeth, man. Those are some. That's, that's.

Yeah, I like my presidents with wooden teeth. He's a fucking G. George Washington was that dude. Winning the American Revolution is some boss shit. That's really not talked about enough. I mean, that's an upset, dude. That's a big upset. Empire versus militia.

Yeah, which is funny, though. Also, why did they come here to fight us? They should have just not. Well, you guys build boats. Well, we probably just weren't giving them their taxes or whatever, right? Probably exactly. We'll keep the money. They're like, we gotta go get it. They're like, come get some. We're gonna fuck you. We're gonna fight you from the trees. It also is

very hilarious that the whole reason for the American Revolution, we just do now. In D.C. and Puerto Rico and stuff like that. What do you mean like it was taxation oh yeah yeah like dc yeah you don't get san jose puerto rico you don't you know what i love the virgin islands you don't get shit just pay us our money what was a great uh i loved it well i guess we'll maybe help you out if hurricanes come but probably not we'll just come and throw toilet paper at you i shouldn't laugh that's so true we'll drop a box with some some like

you know a couple bottles of water uh Remember that week during, like, the protests that everybody was using the Boston Tea Party meme? And they were, like, everyone was, like, you know, what would, like, our founding fathers think of, like, violence like this? You know, and then people, everyone thought they were so clever being, like, comparing the American Revolution to the Black Lives Matter protests. I just remember that period of time where like everybody was tweeting out pictures of the Boston Tea Party and I was like this is madness. This is fucking madness. But yeah George Washington like running point on the American

Revolution. We beat the shit out of fucking Britain. Also kind of crazy that Britain was like the most powerful country in the world. Itty bitty. But they owned everything. So it wasn't itty bitty. Well right owned everything. So it wasn't itty-bitty. Well, right, right, right. They colonized and everything.

And they had all the guns. Yeah, they had all the fucking boats, all the guns. I mean, shout-out to the French, though. Lafayette, right? All these things I learned from Hamilton. That's it. You're up. We're in the endgame here.

I was going to do a little ass-kicking real quick. I'll go with Dave Portnoy. Thank you very much. That's clever, but I also can't believe a little ass kicking real quick. I'll go with Dave Portnoy. Thank you very much. That's clever, but I also can't believe you stooped so low. You're drafting Dave Portnoy. I didn't even stoop low. I dug a hole. I'm not even like, I'm in the ground right now. Okay, now wax poetic about him.

Well, I mean, Dave, I couldn't thank him enough. He gave me a job, gave me a life. Without him, I'd be, I forget what he says I do. What would I be't thank him enough. He gave me a job, gave me a life. Without him, I'd be... I forget what he says I do. What would I be doing? I forget. Hank's a museum ticket taker. You were doing insurance with your dad? I guess maybe. It's just not that bad. I don't think he ever mentions you because it's really not that

bad. You would fucking work for your family-owned insurance empire. You probably should have done that. It would have been better for you. Okay. I'm up um um i was gonna go i think i'm gonna okay i'm gonna a little loophole here we're not talking about like the person we're talking about the president, if you will. Like, the time he was president.

Bill Clinton. Slick Willie. That's a good answer. Yeah, but I just don't want to be known as drafting a guy who, like, rapes young women. Because that's what he does now. I'm going to say that he wasn't during the White House. He was. That was consensual.

It was consensual. It was consensual. I'm not drafting Epstein Clinton. I'm drafting Lewinsky Clinton. I like my presidents getting their dicks out consensually and playing the saxophone and shit. Prior to all that Epstein shit, though, I do think he was a good pick because he's like, I think he was the first.

No, Kennedy was cool, right? But I think in the modern era, I feel like Clinton was the cool guy. He was on Arsenio Hall or whatever late night it was, Leno, and the saxophone and all that shit. It was like, oh, you can have a little bit of personality. You don't have to be a total fucking stick. We had a good run from him. It went Clinton to George W., right? Yep.

Clinton, George W., Obama. George W. has kind of looked back with some rose-colored glasses. I feel like it was not so great under him. Oh, no. But he's just a definitively cool guy. Oh, cool-wise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Agreed, agreed. No, I'm just not kidding.

I'm talking strictly the PR guys. Right. The Q rating or whatever. Yeah, those guys are cool. Yeah, that three in a row is like, those are three guys I'd fucking chill with. Definitely. No doubt. That's a great-

They could tell me all about all their war crimes. Wouldn't that be funny if you ever got them in a room and they're like, dude, they think we're the good ones? Wouldn't it be funny? Obama, what were those fucking drones like? Could you imagine, and I guess it's really not imagining because of shit like that, but if we find out that Obama was a bad dude, because politics aside, he doesn't seem to be

like a rapist or like a murderer like yeah maybe the drone thing and some crazy like you know war type of shit but if we just find out behind the scenes that he was like a womanizer and like a bad dude that would be wild i would be shocked shocked shocked him hitting that jumper the other day he saw that yeah he played it cool like you should when he's like that's just like what i do but you know on the inside he had to be like yeah oh fucking so happy that went in so close because if he misses it it's also like whatever but that going in he's like fucking going viral yes yes my netflix documentary is about to get so many right right um okay it's my fifth is this fifth or fourth fifth Fifth. Boy, oh boy. I mean, you could go with him.

I could go with Obama. John, Libberg, Fidel Lib. I could go with Chester B. Arthur. Chester B. Arthur. Wow, man. Facial hair. Yeah? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Let me pop that up real quick. We might be going CB. I love that you're like, I don't know any presidents, but then you know the guy with the facial hair. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Look at that bad Larry. That's your choice. Or it might be Herbert Hoover. Herbert Hoover

did some cool shit with the FBI. I'm a sucker for alliteration. Yeah, the FBI. I'm a sucker for alliteration. Yeah, the FBI, that sounds cool too, but he's got two H's in his name. How often do you see that? And like Herbert is like, Herbie, yo, what up, Herb? Also, it's the...

You know what's a great... It's hard enough for us to just list these presidents. Imagine if you had to do it by face. If you pulled that, I would... I wouldn't know that man. No, that is... Hang on. I didn't see it.

I can't see it, man. No, that is. Hang on. I didn't see it. I don't know. I can't see it now either. Fuck. I mean, it's Herbert Hoover. Yeah. We were just. Three thirty early. Early today. Herbert Hoover.

I guess because he's the only president I know who's referenced in Home Alone. When the old neighbor, she says, I haven't had a phone since Herbert Hoover. Wow. I haven't done something. I'm going to Google that real quick, too. Herbert Hoover, Home Alone. Did you take Ritalin as a kid? No.

Did you ever have ADHD stuff? Nothing. Surprise. Dude, my phone. You never had like ADHD stuff? Nothing. Surprising. Dude, my phone, I never believed in this shit. I always thought it was overplayed. My phone's a fucking disaster since the new phone came out.

Everything is so incredibly slow. Yep. Mine today just wouldn't play podcasts. Really? I pressed play, just nothing happened. What is going on here? Herbert Hoover.

Can you Google Herbert Hoover Home Alone? Are you sure there's a Herbert Hoover reference in Home Alone? I'm like 99% sure. The old neighbor says something like, I haven't been on the phone since Herbert Hoover? Something since Herbert Hoover. I mean, something might not be wrong. I had the chicken pox when Herbert Hoover was in the White House.

Doesn't he sneak out of the house and get to Home Alone 3? This fucking asshole is referencing Home Alone 3 on my goddamn show. I've got to be honest, that's the worst look for you ever. You referenced Home Alone 3 I honestly don't even know I've seen this movie. I had the chicken pox when Herbert Hoover was in the world.

Yeah, listen. Sure, you were correct about Home Alone 3. If you'd asked me before if I had ever seen Home Alone 3, I would have said no. Yeah, I can't believe you pulled a Home Alone 3. If you had asked me before if I had ever seen Home Alone 3, I would have said no. I can't believe you pulled a Home Alone 3 reference out of your asshole. I think I was just a kid and I was like, I know a president. I know a president. Herbert Hoover was a president.

And I was, no, Home Alone 1, 2. Oh, yeah, baby! No, Herbert Hoover once stayed here on the Seymour. No, Herbert Hoover once stayed here on the Seymour. Okay, that's once stayed here on the Seahorse. Okay. That's different. Yeah, but I guess you're right.

I think the reference I was referring to was the third. I said the old name. I said Bob Schneider. I said the old late name. You were definitively referencing Home Alone 3, which I think is maybe the first time ever that someone has used that as a pop culture reference. Like, yeah, you know that scene from Home Alone 3? Definitively no.

Everyone says no to that. I've never seen that. No, I don't know what you're talking about. All right, so is that your pick, Herbert? who's the one who got stuck in the tub ah that was gonna make me my pick taft taft william taft he was so fucking fat yeah i gotta be billy yeah yeah well he is right yeah yeah so he was like 400 pounds imagine if like friend the tanker coach dougs was our president because that's what it was i remember that was a big thing when christy was running with a fat president right like thinking about running yeah in this day and age like we've had a black president you know we've got all these ways

time to have a different one like could we i think it said like we will have a female president a gay president and everything before we have a fat one yeah well that's also definitely wrong because donald trump's president yeah but he's he is big, but not round fat. He's round fat. I don't know. Because he's just big, too, though. He's tall, but he's a fat guy. He's not round.

Bro, he's fat. I'm going to disagree with you on this one. Oh, you're going to disagree and you're going to be wrong. I think he hides it. Like, Chris Christie has that fat fupra. He wears it pretty well, but he's fat. Right, okay, that's fine. But I'm saying and you're going to be wrong. I think he hides it. Like, Chris Christie has that fat pooper. He wears it pretty well, but he's fat. Right, okay, that's fine. But I'm saying he does not appear to be fat.

I mean, there are definitely pictures of him where he looks like a fat person. Yeah, they also do, like, touch up every single one of his pictures. Yeah. But, you know what I mean? Like, Chris Christie is, if you're going to compare the two, Chris Christie is a round, humpty-dumpty fatso, you know? But, like, this is a guy, like. That guy's got to go to Lutheran. That's a fat man.

Yeah. And that's also just an old man. But I think Taft was – I think the whole thing with him was like he was one of the last and only because nobody knew what the president looked like. Like when you went to vote, it was like you didn't know because it wasn't TV and it wasn't like all this shit. So it was kind of like you've maybe seen a picture here. You might have read a paper. Kind of. Yeah.

And I mean, that's fucking FDR hid that he couldn't walk. Yeah. You know, people, nobody even knew that. Imagine that if it was like, you know, plot twist, your president's a cripple. Yeah, that was going to be my pick. So I feel like, you know, who's had a great a great like recent glow up looking back on it reagan so it's reagan 84 shirts everybody started to wear that became like well that's like that's just southern frat stuff yeah yeah like that's just that's just people who but i also think

girls want to fuck him i think girls yeah i think girls said reagan's hot my dad says he's awesome so i'm gonna wear a t-shirt definitely i want I want to present daddy. Reagan had a big up. I mean, he he had the least, there's like one viral tweet of him on the plane, and it's like, this is the least swag of any drug dealer I've ever seen. Yeah. And it's him in like sweatpants on Air Force One. Right, right. That kind of shit where, you know, like the Reaganomics became like a

thing that rappers are talking about. I know my answer. Teddy Roosevelt, Rough Rider. What is a Rough Rider? I don't know. Okay. I'm pretty sure it was like We don't know anything I mean I knew the name I knew that it was a thing Rough Riders I think were

It was like a group of like political It was like him and his gang, right? I think they were like kind of policemen That rode on horseback Horses, right I think he was a Rough Rider It wasn't anything to do with when he was president, right? He was a Rough Rider

No, he was a Rough Rider I think he was anything to do with when he was president, right? He was a rough rider and then became president. No, he was a rough rider. I think he was like a vigilante. No, no. I think he was sanctioned, but he was like, I think he was kind of like a ranger, like a Texas ranger kind of, like a park ranger on a horse, like he will fuck you up.

And I mean, he's got the mustache. It sounds to me like he's US Voluntary Cavalry. That sounds a little vigilante. Voluntary sounds like you're going to hop on your horse with a gun. It sounds like he's fucking Batman without money. Yeah. Riding horses and shit. And I mean, Rough Riders is just like, that's a fucking, that's a term.

Rough Riders is a cool term. Yeah. Shout out Cedar Rapids. Their hockey team is the Rough Riders. Rough Riders. Yeah, so that's my Rough Rider riding out my top five. I think that draft went very well. I think that went well as well.

Top five. Because, you know, as you can tell, we are political aficionados. Voicemails? Let's do it. Voicemails today are brought to you by Guideline. 401Ks are, it sends a great message to your employees says that you have their back and that you care about them uh and so if you run a small business you have to almost in this day and age provide a 401k uh do you contribute to your 401k

yeah um i don't i gotta start doing that uh i sure do. Stephanie was like, I was just talking to her about my equity and trying to get some money. I need some cash right now. And she was like, we can potentially, if you really earn a jam, we can use some of your 401K. And I was like, I don't think I've been doing that because I haven't had any money. And she was like, yeah, I checked on that.

It's empty. I was like, yeah, it's empty. How can you use some of your 401K? You have to pay crazy penalties? I think so, yeah. I think if you How can you use something for your 401k? You have to pay like crazy penalties? I think so, yeah. I think if you're in like a jam, jam. That's what your boy did, right? Didn't he pull on his 401k?

Yeah, until he got fired. So his accountant fired him. So if you're a small business and you want to offer your employees a 401k, use Guideline. They'll take it off your hands. You can cross it off your list, and you can start saving with ease and having your employees back because you when you're choosing the right employment retirement plan for your employees it can be complicated it can be confusing uh and that's where guideline comes in to make it simple and seamless and i know you might think like oh my business is too small i can't offer a 401k think again because 401ks are like a differentiator between like a good and successful business and a not so good one.

Because if – think about the talent involved. You're like whatever it is. Barstool Sports started doing well when we added a 401K. I mean that really is like if you're attracting talent and someone is like, well, I can work here. That has it. And here that doesn't have it. They're going to go to the place where they can match money and basically get some free cash for retirement down the road. So think about it. There's no such thing as too small of a business. And when you use a

company like guideline, they'll take all of it off your hands and it can give you an edge over the rest of the competitors and the people in your industry. Go to guideline.com slash KFC. And for right now for a limited time, you can get a $100 gift card when you start your 401k plan with Guideline. That's Guideline.com slash KFC to start a 401k for your business. They'll do compliance testing, record keeping, investment management. They'll handle the admin. It takes 10 minutes to set up, and they will find a design for a 401k plan that fits your needs and will help all of your employees manage their own accounts. That's guideline.com slash KFC.

Tell them KFC radio sent you what we got, Nick. KFC fights and the boys. What up? All right. I don't know if this is an, am I the asshole or what? I just need you guys opinion.

So before I start, I am 25. Girlfriend is 24 and we do not live together. So she's bringing it up to me. Probably 10 plus times how we need to get matching Christmas pajamas, onesies, whatever the hell. So last night, she sent me a screenshot of something she bought on Amazon. It's this male model. I think they call it a sleep shirt. So you slip it over your head, but it's longer.

So it ends between your knees and your ankles. So she sent it to me. Oh, my God, babe, can we get these? My response was, yeah, you know what, let's just get it. I know we're going to move in together soon. I was like, sure, if you want to get it, get it, because I know as soon as we move in together, that's going to be one of your first purchases. It's going to happen eventually, so rip the band-aid off and let's get it.

Her response was all capital letters, lasting emojis, ohjis oh my god i cannot believe you'd wear a dress i'm never gonna let you live this down i'm gonna put this on social media and my response was like you don't really get it it's me wearing it for one day ends the conversation from ever happening again it's worth it in my opinion it's worth it to end the thing. I'm trying to explain. If a girl says no, that's it. The conversation ends. But if a guy says no, it'll never end. She's always going to bring it up every year and every month, whatever.

So what? Am I an asshole? What would you guys do in this situation? Let me know. I mean, that's a dirty move by a girl to be like. I mean, we're talking about night shirts here, right? Yeah. Yeah.

I'd wear the fuck out of a night shirt. I was going's a lot to unpack here first of all let's talk about the issue at hand night shirts are fire fire fire they're comfortable they're awesome dude for christmas last year i got my buddy who i had secret santa a night shirt i mean that's he wears it all the time that's that's every time he wears it he takes a picture sends me which is basically every night barstool indoors type shit to the max. Like, you know what? We're going to make them. I basically already kind of do.

If you buy the Barstool indoors long sleeve t-shirt, it kind of, like, goes down low. But we're going to make this shit, like, down to your fucking legs. Down to your knees. So that's, like, point one. Like, awesome jammies are fire, okay? Point two, your girl, this is like, this is like violating the terms of an, of, of a relationship to be like, to like, to be the girl and to request something like stereotypically girly just to set your boyfriend up. That's fucked up.

You can't do that. You know, it's like, Hey babe, do you want to like be like do a couple's costume? It's like, I guess so. Ah like be like do a couple's costume it's like i guess so ah you fucking loser you fucking pussy it's like whoa i thought i was gonna get brownie points here what the fuck yeah wasn't my idea i just agreed to do what you want to do right if anything this should just point out how like afraid of you i am and how much like i don't actually have a say in this world and usually i get talked into things i don't want to do by you and other women uh so that's the other issue and then the third issue is kind of like i guess like doing doing the the the matching pjs doing the couple's costume doing the like i i don't mind uh i don't

i don't really care about the matching pjs thing because i like the p like i don't need the i like the sleep shirt i don't need to match we don't need to post the matching PJs thing because I like the PJs. I don't need the – I like the sleep shirt. I don't need it to match. We don't need to post it on social media and all that. If your girl has to do that – My mom still does that. Leaves them at the foot of our bed. With your whole family?

It's not that I'm matching. They're just new – everyone gets new pajamas. Yeah. I haven't worn them since I was like 12. So my mom does that. You don't have to wear them. She puts them at the base of the bed. My mom does that, but it's all different PJs, so we don't look like – I think when you – all right, here's the levels of – I think it's cornier if you are like the guy and girl doing it and your girl like posted on social media.

I think when it's a whole family, you look like some white people shit. You look like some like Kennedys or some like – but like not in a good way. You look like some white cult shit or some like, but like not in a good way. They look like some white cult shit. You know what I mean? What was the picture of the black kid? It was a black guy at like his white girl's family Christmas. Like some get out shit. And it was, I'm going to see if I can find the picture.

I remember it going viral on Twitter. Everyone's like, we've got to save this man. Was he wearing it too? I forget. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's get out right there where it's's like we're all in like striped red and green. And it's like, you know, I'm sure – again, like if I were to do that right now with my little kids, it's one thing.

Once everyone's like an adult, I feel like it kind of starts to get weird with the matching. But you have to understand like girls do want to do these things. Girls are always coming up with shit that guys don't really want to do that we just do because we feel like we have to do it whether it's the going to see the tree or going to do the apple picking and i know some people like those things but a lot of guys don't and they're just like okay fine because i'm a huge proponent i don't know i go back and forth if my girl's like obsessed with christmas and like that was her thing and she found it fun i'd love to do it like when you said when you reference the apple picking like i can have fun no matter if as long as you're

having fun yeah i'll buy into it all right i'm like a puppy like you can trick me easy yeah okay we're going out we're going out i'm like let's go let's go let's go i'll be jacked up for it right but if if you're just like if it's something you really don't want to do my mom used to do this so i do it now what do you do if it's something that you really don't want to do though. My mom used to do this, so I do it now. What do you do if it's something that you really don't want to do? Because I used to be a big proponent of like pick your battles and like happy wife, happy life. And like look where that got me. It's like if you just give in on every single thing that you don't like. I've never had something I just really didn't want to do.

Like ever in history. Like there are times that I'd rather not do something I guess. But I'm like – Well, you've also been single for a really long time or like you just have done whatever you wanted to do yeah you know this is only the last couple years where you've been into it and and but like yeah like i mean like lifelong like it's like i don't want to do it but if you like once i do it i have fun yeah i'm pretty good at i'll make the best of any situation yeah what's what's fucked is like this extra element of like if you you know your girl wants to post it on social media or something where it's like all right i don't mind doing this like fun christmassy thing but if it's something

that like i look a little goofy during or it's like a little bit embarrassing and then you're gonna fucking take a video of it and take a picture of it and post it up there and then now it's like a thing that's that's a little bit of a different story so i would say oh i would say i mean in this case like i mean on this case like head on a swivel it sounds like your girl's out to like prank you or some shit um but in most i just start in most cases i'm like all right you want to open that door because guess what guess who's better at pranking yeah right right i'm gonna start to fuck with you yeah i'm like you know trick you into shit and make fun of you about you know certain customs or whatever uh anywho so whatever bottom like wrap it up i like jammies uh pick your battles but but but stand your ground if you really don't if you really don't like it

and uh anyway have you noticed that there's a lot of people flipping to Christmas right now? Yes. More so than usual? Yep. Yes. I mean, it was earlier. I mean, Carly Rae Jepsen put out a Christmas song in October. Yeah, that's crazy.

It was before Halloween. I saw a lot. I think Coley put up a blog. I saw Captain Khan's talking about it. And then just in general, like my timeline was just peppered with like it's pat was talking about it on breakfast like it's christmas season we're doing mariah i think we're kind of skipping thanksgiving this year yeah why what's going on i think the pandemic is it that people are just like fuck it we need something good let's go to christmas i think i think that's part of it i think like i'm considering i might not go home

for thanksgiving yeah I think people just like skip it. There's nothing that important that comes with Thanksgiving. It's a great day. Don't get me wrong. I have a blast on Thanksgiving. I really enjoy it. It's one of my favorite holidays. It's not necessary. But it's not super necessary. It's like JV Christmas. It's like pre-game for Christmas.

It's the warm up for Christmas for sure. Which is fine. Usually I'm a big fan of Black Friday. That's when I start Christmas. If we are all going to just agree this year we need two months of Christmas season. Because I do. Christmas is kind of depressing to me. Christmas Day where it's like it's over. It's the build up.

The Christmas season is what's dope. Christmas Day is like it's over now. If you guys are all – if everyone just wants to agree it's been extra shitty. At least in New York it got cold real quick. You guys want to just do two months of Christmas? I'm down. But I need to know what's going on because I was like – I'm like sitting here thinking like November 1st, we've been doing like Christmas songs and shit. That feels early.

We're going to – I think at some point in our lifetime, we are going to hit – I have two predictions for things that happen in my lifetime. One, we stop eating meat. I think at some point, maybe not in our lifetime, but I think at some point in the not-so-distant future, it will be weird to be like, you were a meat eater. People will be just more vegetarian than not. Yeah. Why?

I don't know. It's just a trend I see happening, and typically those people just win out in the end. It's a war of attrition and you're like, alright, fucking fine. It just seems hard to me to get your protein and shit, but I guess if they make that easier and it becomes a more doable thing.

It's a bold prediction to say in our lifetime, but I think like... And there's still quite a bit across America that are like, not gonna give up. But I think there will be, it will be more common to be like oh he eats meat like that's a weird thing um

and two I forget what it was gonna be Christmas oh Christmas is gonna be year round year round dude I mean when I was a kid we started

it was fucking it was when Santa came on the Macy's Day Parade that's when Christmas started yeah and in in just let's say

and that was Thanksgiving right 20 years 15-20 years yeah we gotta add another month on. We got to add a whole new month. So it's just going to keep going? I mean, I feel like everything is that way. Like, I remember, like, Hocus Pocus started airing in, like, August.

Like, people want, they always want to, like, start that season earlier. But there's been other seasons that kind of, like, I think the reason why people did it after Halloween was because that Halloween season is its own thing. Yeah. So you think people will stop posting Halloween decorations and they'll just stick with Christmas? I think it's going to be big Christmas. Yeah, big Christmas, like Christmas undertones at all times. Yeah. I mean, I could get down with that.

Again, if everyone wants to agree, like, I think it's a little silly. I think it's premature. But I understand the logic of, like, fuck it, let's do it because we need it. But don't tell me that this is something that's, like, normal. This is not normal. No. This is special. It's a different year. This is this is somebody like something's in the water

right now people are jumping on board with a trend and i'm like i mean i've seen it in new york you start to see like decorations pop up steadily throughout the fall but watching all of social media not all but a lot of people be like bam it's christmas carol time i've been listening to christmas music all day like if you're rocking out right now to, like, not Mariah. If you're listening to, like, a fucking little drummer boy on the day of. A garbage song. Garbage. Not great.

Most Christmas songs are garbage songs. Yeah, probably. I don't listen to Christmas music. I don't. I think it's weird when people are just, like, listening to that. Like, driving in a car. I don't. Yeah.

If we're at a Christmas party, sure. But if you have control for your own personal music, you're putting on Christmas carols, I think that's fucking strange. But I think, so we've obviously added, November is now Christmas month. We kind of dabbled a little bit in October. That's also, that's like adding,

it's like adding anal to the bedroom. Once that's on the table, you don't take it off. Yeah, that's like, it becomes regular. Yeah, it off. Yeah, that's like it becomes regular. Yeah, sometimes it goes in your ass. Now, full November is regular. Now, a little October, regular. You can't take it back. You don't take that back.

That's the line you can't walk back over. Right, so girls, be careful with that asshole. Once it's fair game, it's fair game. Next voicemail. So, KFC fights. Dude, I fucked up um today we're getting ready to go to uh my fiance's brother's baby's gender reveal or whatever and uh just waiting on her while she was showering getting ready bored as shit so i thought it'd be funny if i took a picture of my dick and save it

as her background on her uh lock screen and everything your boy will always beat you fast forward we drive uh over to the party i totally forgot i did it and her grandmother aunt and mom want to see what wedding dresses uh she's been looking at they all sit down and at this point i glance over and I see she's reaching for her phone and yeah, they open it up and there's a picture of my rock hard dick as their background. Family's not happy. Pretty sure dad thought

she's a virgin and definitely not. So, yeah, I don't really know what to do. I mean, I kind of fucked here. Have a good one, boys. First of all, you can still be a virgin while looking at hard dicks. That is true.

You can play that card. First of all, we need to address that we're wearing matching shirts to say pubes. Did not realize that. I forgot about that as well. If you're watching this on YouTube or you see any of the video clips, we stopped in the middle of the podcast to go play Jenga, where Jeff D. Lowe created our team name and team uniforms, Pubes, which is the word pubes spelled out in pubes.

And so we are wearing matching shirts to say pubes. The hard dick made me do that. Nardini asked me. She goes, oh, look at that shirt. Is that something we're selling? No, Nardog, we're not selling. The fact that she had to ask that and was probably like, we probably are.

Fuck. Anyway, I'll are. Fuck. Yeah. Anyway, I'll tell you what. I think this relationship's over. I don't think there's coming back from that. I, I,

if your dad thinks that you're a virgin and you're, and there's a hard dick on the back, I mean, I don't think there's any coming back from that. I think as it's, here's, here's what matters. Is that dick bigger than his?

If it's a little dick than him, he'll get over it. That's a tough one. If I ever saw my daughter's boyfriend's dick on her phone and he has a fucking hammer, that's never leaving my brain. That's never leaving my brain. Because now you know he's the man in the room. Right. Yeah. But if he's got a little dick, you'd be like, you should marry this guy.

Right, right. I'll fucking work him over. Dude, that is honestly tough. Hey, Steve, go get me a fucking Coke. That is tough if you're like, yo. He pushes a little back, like, shut up, little dick. Go get me a fucking Coke. You're trying to lay down the law.

Because you know, if push ever really came to shove and things somehow went super primal and you guys laid it on the table, you lose. You lose if i was if i was a father you know there's something biological about that we're like this is my cave this is my tribe and now it's not anymore no you got a fucking body armor on you i mean that's you're so right yeah yeah if it's if it's a little addicted him he'll get over now okay all right flip, all right, flip side. Is there any worry that, like... Also, why did you have to say it was yours? It seems like it was... He didn't say a nude.

He said a hard dick pic. Yeah, that's true. You're like, it was a fucking prank Samantha pulled on me. Also, my thing is, like... She just got it on the internet. I mean, I guess if you're like, hey, let me see these wedding pictures. I guess if we're, like, looking at it together and I swipe. But wouldn't it...

Isn't it kind of like a, let me show you. Yeah, right. 100%. Have you ever like opened like your phone where you had like something bad on it? I did it once. I was just, I just left the gym. This is when I went to Equinox and I lived by my old apartment and same Equinox as a neonag doll, whatever.

And I was like lightheaded after I did like a course, like a class. And it was like fucking ropes and rows or some shit like that. And I was like, I was not in shape. And I did a class that was different. And I like walked outside and was just like crazy,

like lightheaded and hot. And I just sat down on like a, it was like, I think it was a steps leading into Equinox. Okay. And I just sat down and I was like, I was going to kill some time. I opened Safari, and I was on browsers.

It was browsers, not Pornhub. It was back when I had browsers. I was going to say, that's when you have a password. You don't go to browsers. No, no, no. I had a password at the time. And some dude just walked by and started laughing out loud. You're sitting on the steps of the gym like, oh, shit.

I did that just the other day. I was either at work or, I mean, it's definitely happened at home where, you know, I'm like in single dad mode. And then I go pick up the kids. And then I'm like, yeah, let me swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe. Yeah, you just pop it back in your pocket. Don't ever just show someone your phone willy-nilly. It's like fucking crazy. When it comes to your phone, you are the Secret Service,

and that's the president. Protect that at all costs. You go in. You fucking – you check out the scene before you let him in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean – So the other person would be the president in this situation. Unless it's like my phone is there and she's like,

we want to see those dresses, and she just grabs it. In which case I'll shoot you in the mouth. In which case, you dive across the fucking table. You grab that thing. I mean, I know you've talked about this, but I think this needs to become canon. This needs to be part of the rules. Like, the way we go to the bathroom alone, right? That is just accepted in society.

My ex-girls like go together but you know what i mean like just like that's something you do alone at all times that needs to be your phone like it's only you yeah you would never like go to the bathroom with your girlfriend and vice versa and that should be your phone as well you never share phones you never because you know what the problem is it's it's not it's it's harmless shit when it's like when things are going good you're like let me order let's good, you're like, let me order – let's order food, babe. Like, here, let me scroll through the menu and I'll do it. And then it's like, oh, what's your passcode?

Like it locks. Dude, I even hate – And then you tell her the passcode and then you have to change your passcode and then that looks shady and all these things. And it's just like – it's only because you did some casual sharing of the phone. Just never. The same way you would never be like, yeah, I'll hold your dick while you pee. It's just like, no no it's not a thing i even get uncomfortable when i like i'll do things now where if like oh have you seen this video oh you haven't i'll send it to you yes yes good you look

at it yeah i'm not fucking holding my phone up but that texts or tweets come in that is like i think we need to normalize that because i think that looks people think that's like shady and it's like that should be the norm you do not touch ever you do not look ever i'm waiting for the day that they do something where it's like my eyeballs only you know how they have those screens like the protector screens where you can't look from the side yes they need to do something where that's like literal only my eyeballs can actually see it oh yeah yeah it's i saw it on reddit it's like uh i mean someone did it themselves it's not something for sale but it was basically like they made special glasses. So like I have to have the glasses and then you have to have a screen.

Which could be a pain in the ass. Yeah, I don't want to have to have a screen on. But that's what I mean. Like one day that they can. How about this? Would you be willing to wear contacts if they did that? No, I don't fuck with eyes. Yeah, me neither.

What do they call it? Because of the P. Pederast? Nope, that's a rapist. Nope. No, it don't fuck with eyes. Yeah, me neither. What do they call it? Because of the P. Pederist? Nope, that's a rapist. Nope. No, it's a pedophile. Yeah, definitely not that. Whatever you're talking about, let's not be that.

Pick something. Picophobia, something like that? Obsessed with, I'm just going to Google obsessed with eyes. It's a picarist, maybe? Okay. I think it might be obsessed with eyes. And you are that or you are not that? I am the opposite of that.

I am terrified of eyes. I can't believe that there are people who have to pinch this fucking plasticky lens into their eyeballs every day just to be able to see. That is a nightmare. But if you told me that this phone is nothing more than just a plastic glass piece of nothing to anybody except if you have those eyes on, I mean, that's how you end up getting your head chopped off and your eyeballs ripped out by the bad guys though you know that would do it yeah where it's like they got to access this phone pull it out and then they like i don't hold it up to it or something um i can't find the name the only reason i know it is because it was from in the following the show the following yeah yeah kevin bacon says that that's what that's why i

chopped the eyes out and stuff whatever yeah um but anyway yeah if they can come up with some technology that does that you know they're already doing facial recognition and stuff or whatever? Yeah. But anyway, yeah, if they can come up with some technology that does that. They're already doing facial recognition and stuff, and it's like, what if it's like that's the only time the screen is even legible or some shit? I don't know. They should get on that. I would do that in a fucking heartbeat. Steve Jobs. Do it.

And again, it's not even like – I know you're alive. It's not even – totally. I've seen the picture in Brazil. Fucking know what's up. Fucking do the i thing it's just not even like if you're cheating if you're shady if you're doing something illegal it's just like privacy and and again like you said it's like i don't know what my other people are gonna

text me or send me or do that's not my response i got a lot of wild fucking people in my life you know uh all right last voicemail of the day is brought to you by mvmt i mean you know the name you know i've been rocking blue lights maybe mvmt can do that they could do the glasses with the screen you've been rocking them yeah for style or for eyeballs no for eyeballs because i i it was never it was an mvmt ad read that that put me over the top on it where it was like um because when i close my eyes at night i can feel my eyes still darting around and i didn't i thought that was just like me i thought that was just my own psycho problems yeah and it's everybody it's like you know what happens to me i'm staring at screens i close my eyeballs for an extended period of time it feels like there is like there is

boiling water in there really like my eyes sting so bad when i finally just i probably screens lights and i i think that's hair loss and eyeball like problems i think are two things that like you have to do it when you have it when your eyes are still good you know like start rocking the blue light glasses now once your eyes are fucked i don't think the glasses help you know they always help but it's not going to fix the problem you got to keep the eyesight so when you have good eyes is when you should be rocking the blue light filtering and uh i mean nowadays you know they always help but it's not going to fix the problem you got to keep the eyesight so when you have good eyes is when you should be rocking the blue light filtering and uh i mean nowadays you know my screen time i don't know how i gotta do it like i reset my phone the other day or whatever and i guess these screen time notifications start popping up and it tells

me how many hours it's it's never dude i mine is actually i'm actually pretty good at it yeah you're way better than i am i'm at like 18 hours one time or some shit. I was like, holy Christ almighty. So MVMT, the glasses. My daily average is three hours. Wow. Really? Three hours.

Oh, wait, no. It just went up. Four hours, 22 minutes. But still. Up 34% from last week. It's called screen time if I search that? Yeah, it's screen time. Oh.

Four hours. Nope. Five hours. It just did the pop that. Oh. Four hours. Nope. Five hours. It just did the pop-up too. Five hours, 15 minutes. But I'm telling you, I got a thing the other day that was like in the teens, and I was like, holy fuck. That is crazy.

The teens is nuts. It couldn't have been. It must have been like added up or something. Yeah. There's no way I'm on my phone for- 16 hours? I'm only like awake for 16 hours. I'm only awake for 16 hours. So if you're going to be on the screen four or five hours or multiple

I think Bailey Carlin is like 12 hours. It's crazy. In this era, you need it. And then also they've got the you know what's something in our lifetime? I think in our lifetime, movement will be known as the glasses, not even the watches.

They started as the watches. Now with the sunglasses and the eyeglasses, especially with how much our eyeballs are burning out of our heads, they might be more important with the glasses than the watches. But the watches are also – this is the perfect time. I can tell Christmas season. They're ramping up. Perfect gift. perfect time i can tell christmas season they're ramping up perfect gift the perfect gift for like it's a good price point so you're not spending too much money on anybody it's actually useful

you get a movement watch now you can pair it with the sunglasses or the eyeglasses so it's like a whole accessory kit if you're going to do like a secret santa if you're going to do if you're buying for like a friend or like a family member who's not a big gift, perfect. And it's not a presumptuous gift. It's just like, bam, you could use this. A new watch, new glasses, you'll like it. So it's a little bit early, but hey, we're already starting the Christmas season. Movement Watches start at just $95.

The glasses to match, you can get 15% off with free shipping and free returns when you go to MVMT.com slash KFC. Movement Watch is at MVMT.com slash KFC. Get 15% off plus free shipping and free returns at MVMT.com slash KFC. Hey, Kevin, Pikes, whoever's producing today. Yo, Kevin, I just wanted to say real quick, I watched your one-minute man about Joe Rogan and Kanye West, and me and my buddy were stoned off our asses watching it, and the entire time we're saying the exact same shit you were. Like, it made no goddamn sense. So, a quick question for you,

though, real quick. When someone goes out to eat, they're going to a fast food chain restaurant, they're like, hey, you want to come with me me um like they said the name of the place do you immediately know what your order is going to be or you have to stop and think about it like when someone tells me hey uh i'm going to chick filet you want anything like that as soon as they say the word chick like i know exactly what i'm getting uh and i was wondering if that's just me uh if you're all about the same thing so thanks guys let me know what was the first thing he said that didn't make sense? Like the first half of the voicemail? Yeah.

He was saying he was watching One Minute Man that I did on Kanye West. Oh, okay. And Joe Rogan saying that him and his buddy were stoned, and I totally agreed with everything I was saying. Because anybody with a normal brain and a normal outlook on life can watch that. And even if you are a Kanye fan, if you were listening to that podcast, you could say, this is like gobbledygook. This is just like nonsense. It fan, if you were listening to that podcast, you could say, this is like gobbledygook.

This is just like nonsense. There's nothing. It doesn't mean you don't like Kanye or whatever. I watched David Letterman talk to Kim K. You seen his interview series at all? Yes. Can we talk about David Letterman real quick? What do you think about David Letterman? I get.

Okay. Okay. Wait. I got furious about it. I didn't see the full Kim K one. Okay. But i did catch one of it uh-huh and i got so fucking mad because he's at letterman he's at the same thing as as like howard stern and stuff like that where it's like i don't find him to be a particularly great

interviewer he's just letterman so people want to impress him he is anointed right now as like this i don't know like like yeah yeah, like a Howard Stern, like, they talk about him, people talk about him like he, and I'm not, I mean, he's obviously wildly successful, but like, he was on the air every single night for a zillion years, and people were not like revering him, again, I'm kind of splitting hairs, because like, I know he was popular and very well liked, but he is talked about now in a way like Pat wrote a blog about him interviewing Chappelle. And it was almost like he was on the same level as Chappelle where people talk about him in this way. I thought the Chappelle one was fine.

I thought all of it is very. Yeah, I don't. What is he doing that? Like, I hate to sound silly, but like I could we could do that interview. The Kim we were just talking to them was – because she gave such a great answer. When he was speaking nonsense? No. That part?

Because, again, I didn't see the whole thing. I just saw, like – I, like, walked into the living room, and she was watching something, so I kind of just sat down. So I didn't see the full thing. I didn't put it on. But I saw the Paris question. Yeah. And he was like, so tell me – like, I think the prompt was, so tell me about Paris. Yes, yes.

And it was like – He's like, yeah, you mentioned – at point, he's like, you mentioned Kanye. You're married to him. What's that like? What? That's not even like a real segue. It was like, he was like, so tell me about Paris. Whereas if we ask that, I get, if you're at a certain level, you demand a certain answer.

But if we ask that, she'd be like, that was a terrible time. I don't talk about that anymore. That's right. I want to be careful. Like, I literally mean this. I could do that same interview if kim gave me that same respect right if i if i get you have to earn respect like that's fine i i understand that thousand percent but even that is like i don't think he i don't want to sound like an asshole like david letterman hasn't earned it but it's like howard stern to

me is known as this like interviewer you know david letterman's been doing like tell me like press junket interviews for fucking zillions of years yeah you know like i don't think he i'm very surprised to see that he's been like canonized by everyone where it's like he is the media elite now where it's like he was he's jimmy fallon he's jimmy kimball he's like and he was a comedian yeah like yeah certainly iconic but to be like you know it's the sit-down interview you must hear dude kim's answer to that was so incredible like it was a 10 out of 10 answer yeah and all he said like she's talking about how like she's getting tied up and she was only in a nightgown she was like i'm gonna get raped i'm gonna get raped like you're about to get raped prepare for that get ready for it and she's talking about like courtney coming home from

the club and finding her like her dead like on the floor right and like all that shit was fucking insane like she's crying and it was like it was crazy they're like she gave a great very vivid and descriptive answer yeah like someone who thought they were about to die and like all the thoughts going through her head and stuff like that and like it was incredible answer but all he said was like paris was crazy tell me about that yeah and it was like and then and then you can say that and i don't know if uh i that, I don't like that, that whole series. Cause it's very edited. Like you can hear where they cut to the applause, like right after it's like, that wasn't a

natural ending. That was like a pause next segment. And so maybe it's, he's a victim of editing, but like, I don't think any of it is that like award winning. And, and so the one thing I was talking about was he was talking to her about being a lawyer and Kim was pretty honest where she's like,'m not a lawyer i'm not going to law school but i am doing this like apprenticeship thing where you learn the ins and outs and then they talked about her advocacy and now she like is working with donald trump and letterman says his advocacy work with you create a corridor of viability that erases the like something like

that like crazy and kim was like she's like literally playing with her hair and she's like well i don't know what you just said and and then he he corrected himself and was like – she's like literally playing with her hair and she's like, well, I don't know what you just said. And then he corrected himself and was like – basically like he's done such good work with you. Does that outweigh all the negative of this administration? And he was choosing his words carefully and that's why it was such a fragmented question. But it was like what the fuck are you – I'm so happy that like Kim said that rather than try to answer it because she was like what the fuck does that mean dude but i can't believe that that david letterman is getting the howard stern treatment or even like the joe rogan treatments like like joe rogan at least is like these podcasters or mark marins of the world people who like have done these barbara walters

even like interviews like david letterman's in that and then the the other like when they went into the cvs, it was terrible. They're doing like a – there's a pre-tape segment where they went to a CVS together, and he was like the old goofy guy, like making old, terrible, goofy jokes. And I was like, this is not that good, guys. This is just not that good. Everyone's like, did you see the Letterman series? And it's like all the guests are awesome, and yes, if you want to say that he's earned it and all that so he'll get the best of the best, sure. But what he does once he gets them, not impressed. I was like, like Chappelle,

there's, there's, I watched most of them from this season. I watched RDJ who, RDJ, like looks like, and he was wearing some wacky shit. This is because of his past,

but like, you just assume, I'm like, he's coked out of his mind, which he isn't, but like he, and he like, he even acknowledges the gum in his mouth

because he kept making all these weird, like facial tics. And it was cause he was like chewing gum. I think you say he's parking his gum like in different places oh yeah yeah yeah yeah oh right he's like i'm gonna need another nicotine yeah yeah and but like he was like just like he he seemed like he was not like comfortable or he seemed weird yeah it was they were there i think i watched most of this season and i there isn't one episode where i'm like you have to see this interview no there's like i mean even just from from having done like behind the interviews, which I understand

are not anywhere near this level, but you either have to do a long one, or you can't talk about every topic. They went through Dave Chappelle's entire childhood, where it's like, there's not enough time to talk about all this shit, you know what I mean? Because you're only going to get surface level for each

section, which I guess there's value in that, but I'd rather... The Kim one wasn't even that long. I don't know. I was very surprised to see – to watch that and be like, this is what people have been raving about. I was an early adapter to it. So I've seen most of them. I watched season one when it first came out, which was probably three years ago or something like that. Yeah, he had Jay-Z on, right?

That was a big one. He had Jay-Z on. I don't know if I watched the Jay-Z one. I watched the Obama one. The Obama one was fine. It was like same thing. Because it Jay-Z. I don't know if I watched the Jay-Z one. I watched the Obama one. The Obama one was fine. It was like, same thing. Because it is like late night questions and answers. Like, it's not, he's not really grilling you.

He's, he doesn't ask like the tough question. He's just kind of like, you go. Like, you do it, you know. Very strange. Anyway, what was the question? How did we get there? It was, this is the fast food. Yeah, how the fuck did we get there?

The fast food? No, I think fuck did we get there? The fast food? No, I think everyone's got pretty much a standard order. How the fuck did we get there? I have no idea. I have no clue. But, like, you deviate a little bit, but, like, McDonald's, I'm probably getting a double cheeseburger. Chick-fil-A, I'm probably getting a spicy chicken. Yeah, like, I have probably two orders.

When I go to Taco Bell, I either get three cheesy or three crunches, or I get, like, a bunch of just regular tacos. When I go to McDonald's, I either get Big cheesy or three crunches, or I get a bunch of just regular tacos. When I go to McDonald's, I either get Big Macs or I get double cheeseburgers with the Mac sauce. Maybe I'll get a number two if I get the two cheeseburgers. I think it's on number nine now. Wendy's getting a spicy chicken.

Wendy's, I'm pretty steadfast. I do Junior Bacon cheeseburgers and nuggets, but I might get a chicken. I get a Junior Bacon cheeseburger on the side. Yeah, I get that. I get two Junior Bacon cheeseburgers and Nuggets, but I might get a chicken. I get a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger on the side. Yeah, I get that. I get two Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers and, like, two words of Nuggets. Burger King, I do a Whopper Junior. What's funny is that he used Chick-fil-A.

Chick-fil-A would be the one place I wouldn't – I mean, I guess you could just say, like, what, Spicy Chicken Sandwich? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so I would have it, but I don't know that menu, like, the back of my hand like the other ones. No, I mean, they basically just have chicken sandwiches. Yeah. But, like, I know, like, sometimes I've had the Polynesian sauce. Sometimes I've had the Chick-fil-A sauce.

I don't know that as well. But I think in general, most people know. You might have three things. You're never going to go and be like, you know what? Today I'm getting the Filet-O-Fish. Right. That's just not happening. I'll do a salad today.

Yeah. You know what is good, actually? The taco salad at Wendy's. They give you a cup of chili, some sour cream, and then just like lettuce with shredded cheese and stuff. It's basically like eating chili. And it comes with a bag of tortilla chips and good chili. And you mix it up. It's a good salad.

Yeah? Yeah. I'll write that down. If you're ever doing like no carbs, you can do like a chili taco salad for Wendy's. It's a pretty fucking pie. But yeah, I think it's kind of crazy. If you go to a place – I know a guy. He was dating a girl who like needed to look at the menu always.

Like we're going to like our local neighborhood spot. Like you know the menu. You know it. Like hang on. I need to look. And he would just be like, fucking you know you're going to get the case of Diaz. Just fucking do it. That'll drive you crazy.

That's enough right there to drive a man crazy. All right. Let's get into our interview with Luis J. Gomez from the Legion of Skanks. Truly the last, like, bastion of, like, don't give a fuckness. I think, like, Comptown's like that, too. Yeah. Right? I've never listened to that, but those but those guys like seem to not give a shit

and you know there's a couple comedians here and there who will always let it fly some individual people like Tim Dillon's The World and like Rogan to an extent but as far as like a crew of guys kind of like a little like a little company Louis J Gomez Big J Dave Smith now

Ari Shane Gillis all like the peripheral people who are kind of joining up. Lewis running the Legion of Skanks is pretty admirable for like – I mean, I hate knowing that we can't always just like totally speak our mind or say whatever we want. Well, I guess we could. If we wanted to, we really could, and that's what these guys do. They just don't let it fucking fly.

So we talked a little bit about Seth Simons in that interview. I don't know if you don't really follow. Oh, yeah. I actually, because I think Lewis, like, quote tweeted someone about him the other day or something like that. So I went to click on his thing. Are you blocked? Yeah.

Me too. Yeah. I'm like, what the fuck? I was like, I never even heard of this guy until the interview the other day. I guess that's just like, I just can't imagine the preemptive proactive block. Like, I don't like this person, so I got gotta take some time out of my day to just block his whole gang his whole crew anybody who ever liked this tweet like when rico does it i laugh about it but it's like people who really do it where it's like all right i gotta start connecting

the dots you know him you like him you do a show with him block block block block it's fucking insane it's particularly insane i think he i think he's like a comedy blogger i think we talk about a comedy journalist or some shit it's like blocking people is like you shoot yourself in the foot yeah like you want less people to see your work also how do you become a comedy journalist yeah it's pretty very strange thing so subjective i mean i think he's like the only one for a reason what the fuck is this so anyway we talk about this guy who's like kind of trying to tear them down we talk about the there's a a princess bride poisoning story in this with lsd with re big j and lewis i think that's one of the funniest stories ever uh so give it a listen really good

interview perfectly brought to you by three chi you got any three chi at home now's the time pop a gummy uh hit the vape and and then listen to Lewis on KFC Radio. It'll be the perfect pairing because 3Chi is a Delta-8 federally legalized THC product. Delta-9 is what's in your regular weed. What Delta-8 is is it takes that Delta-9 compound, whatever the chemistry is, mixes it with CBD, mixes it with some of the other uh you know i don't know fucking elements or whatever however this shit works it creates this delta eight which is this hybrid of nine and cbd which is all of the good stuff the medicinal effects the

euphoria the the buzz but none of the bad none of the fogginess none of the paranoia none of that hangover so uh it's gonna give you you know the decreased anxiety help you sleep at night uh bring some bring a smile your face and uh all federally legal it's fucking crazy uh it's 21 and up to purchase so it's the real deal you got to be an adult uh all legal though and affordable you just go to their website get the gummies i like the gummies The gummies really get the job done, but the vape, the vape hits like very smooth.

Uh, the oils, they have oils that you can put into, like if you're making, you want to bake, you know, some edibles, you just put the oil in yourself so you can make brownies.

You can make whatever you want. Uh, and it's all the good stuff. So go to three cheese, the number three, C H I.com. Use the promo code KFC 5% off your order. Uh, must be 21 years or older to purchaseChi, the number 3, C-H-I.com. Use the promo code KFC. 5% off your order. Must be 21 years or older to purchase.

3Chi is the real deal, Holyfield. Go get it and enjoy Lewis and the Legion of Skanks here on KFC Radio. It's 3Chi.com, promo code KFC. All right, let's do it. We got Lewis J. Gomez in the building, man. What's up, kid? Very happy to have you here. We appreciate you coming through.

Thank you. I feel like it's been even crazier than usual for the Legion of Skanks. Would you say yes or no to that? I mean, you guys are always fucking wild, but maybe I just started paying more attention. But between the election and that crazy fucking drunk fan at the show, you're doing the MMA fight. Seth Simons and everyone chirping. It just seems like everywhere I look, you know,

the Legion of skanks is crazy. Yeah. You know, crazy is always good though. You know, you know, emotion sells. You get people emotional.

This is why Trump's in office because people are too emotional, you know? For sure. And I think that, um, yeah, I mean, it is sort of,

uh, it's always a little bit of a crazy time. I, I have a theory in this business. If you don't have anything going on, then make something happen. So if I don't have an announcement to make, I say I have an announcement next Friday, and then I've got to figure out an announcement by next Friday. So, yeah, that's sort of what's been going on.

Legion of St. Subreddit was just killed a couple days ago. I saw that. So what happened there? Meaning what? Like Reddit took it? Like stopped it or something? Yeah, Reddit as a whole said that the community was racist and spreading hate speech. And now that's – we don't run our subreddit.

If you know the way Reddit works. Reddit's a fucking – These are fan communities. The day that ours will get knocked down, I'll love it. Get rid of those motherfuckers. Yeah, because half of them, they hate you half the time. But it is – 90% of the time.

Look, the internet, it's supposed to be a place where people can share ideas. It's supposed to be somewhat free. And if you're going to say racist things, yeah, make it on an anonymous message board. Keep on taking away these platforms from people. They're going to start doing and saying crazy racist things in real life. Just let them do their Reddit thing. Just let them say the comments on YouTube. Let them say the comments on Reddit and Twitter.

And then guess what? In real life, we all just fucking, everyone's kumbaya. Everyone is, we're all coexisting in real life. That's an interesting thought. We all walk down the street. I don't give a fuck with that guy, who he's voting for, what his political or social views are. We don't give a shit.

If I go to the deli and I want to buy a sandwich, I don't give a fuck what the deli owner, who he's voting for. Give me my sandwich. Except for that dude who knocked out uh rick moranis everyone else is just walking down the street yeah exactly that one guy was not having yeah but you see that face come on dude oh i totally get punched in the head like without a doubt i'm surprised that guy might not even be that violent or crazy he was just like yeah yeah rick moranis was surprised everyone cares. It's been happening for 30 years.

Can you imagine that, man? You're in, he's in hiding though for, not hiding, but he was not, I feel like he didn't come out of his house for like 30 years.

Yeah. Then one day he does, he gets knocked the fuck out. He was like, he was like in a Ryan Reynolds commercial and the next day I was like, oh,

I forgot how much I fucking hate your face, dude. Yeah. It's so funny. That was like a, remember a couple years ago when the biggest problem in the world

was the knockout game? That was it. That that was like they're coming for you dude was a fucking problem though man that was fucking crazy uh i mean i guess people for the rick moranis's of the world you know for for me and my friends good clean fun yeah um yeah i mean i i guess you know i mean, how often are people just being attacked? It's just not happening too often, but yeah, the, the whole online world, uh, I don't know. I, I sort of like, I appreciate it. The, you know, the type of comedy that Legion of Skanks does, you know, nobody's really

doing that type of comedy anymore. You guys are like the last, I feel like, uh, you know, we, we kind of, we never probably went as, as hard as you guys did in general. But even Barstool, there's like a lot more on the line and people grew up and got families and there's just like money to lose. And we kind of like not like we sold out, but it's just not the same as what it once was. You guys, I feel like are ratcheting it up. The parameters change constantly. Right. So you're right. You know, like, look, we do a certain brand of humor, but I come on to a show like this.

I'm not doing the same type of humor. Oh, let it rip. Go ahead. Well, and we do to a certain degree, but Legion of Skanks, I mean, that brand, you know, we, and this was very deliberate, right? We started calling it the most offensive podcast. Yeah. So my question was like, at what point do you, because what I don't like is, is being controversial for the sake of being controversial. Yeah. You know?

And that's where I think it can start to get inorganic and it can start to be phony. You're just saying this to say this. Controversial is the wrong word. So we are dirty for the sake of being dirty, edgy for the sake of being edgy. Controversial, it's not controversial to me. This is how comics talk to each other in cars.

You know what I'm saying? It's not even opinionated. It's not like we have these social opinions or these political opinions. We're saying stupid shit. You remember that movie, that documentary, what the fuck was it, about the joke, The Aristocrats?

Remember that came out a few years ago and it was an old joke, I guess, that comics used to tell. And the idea of the joke was you would try to say the most offensive shit possible in this joke and they made a whole documentary about it and they had like 50 comics do their own versions of this joke and everybody was doing this really offensive joke and the point wasn't to be controversial or offend people the point was to see how you can riff within those parameters and it's not easy to fucking say offensive shit and get people to

laugh anymore people are pussies. You go to a comedy club or you go online, people are looking to be offended. So it's become almost like a different sort of type of comedy. And that's what I compare Legion of Skanks to. So every episode, we are genuinely trying to be offensive. We're going over the notes. It's not like, well, what happened today? But it's like within the framework of comedy, right?

Of course. You're not going to say something you don't believe just to be offensive. No. But you'll be like, how can I describe my opinion on this matter, which I'm being true to. The only truth is funny, right? With us, right? So, yeah, we might say something absurd or something sexist or racial

or whatever it is for the sake of being funny in the moment right so that's where this is where you get caught when i go well no i mean this and i don't mean this it's all jokes like we're fucking around the reality is we're just trying to be as funny as possible um if we start to subcategorize well no well this thing i really meant and this thing i didn't really mean you'll never stop doing that right exactly and if I start apologizing for well that was a joke and that's not a joke then you're fucked the second you apologize the second you say

I went too far I shouldn't you're fucked you are absolutely fucked so we are completely unapologetic the show is really offensive if you get you know triggered by certain words all the no no words that you're not supposed to say it's not going to be the show for you. But the reason we branded it as the most offensive podcast on earth is because nobody really knocks on our door without knowing that.

And that's why I think we don't get in trouble the same way other people get in trouble. Because if somebody says, oh, can you believe the Legion of Skanks said that? People are like, yeah, it's the most offensive podcast on earth. That's what they do. I've always said that it's better to be fucking wild and everything you do is crazy. Like I always use the comparison of Dennis Rodman to Alex Rodriguez. Dennis Rodman, every fucking thing he's ever done is crazy. So when you hear a story about him, like he, you know, fuck this person or fought this person or whatever.

You're just like, yeah, whatever. And then A-Rod, who was like squeaky clean, he does some steroids and people were like, well, kick him out of this and that. Because it's like what you're used to, the baseline is normal, and then he deviates from that. Whereas when you're just fucking all over the place, no one's going to get no one's going to ever be up in arms that knows Legion of Skanks and cares about it. Unless you're looking to be up in arms.

We've developed this fan base, they don't give a fuck. I think I could murder a baby on air and they'd be like, cool. They are the Skankonia fans. They're a really hardcore fan base. And it's great that, look, you want to have people like, dude, none of our fan base. We get sort of categorized as this, like, you know, Trump supporters are right wing. You're a proud boy, right?

Oh, obviously. I'm a fourth degree proud boy. But it's like our fan base couldn't be any less political, couldn give a shit about hey i mean they're trash people you guys are trash bags literally garbage people who are just trying to get high get fucked up have a good time laugh at shitty jokes so you like like shane gillis kind of like is in the mix now right like it's yeah and that's like relatively newish uh within our world or so no shane i mean shane's been a friend of the show for a long time right I just I guess I was talking to him relatively recently and you know I get you know because he

was in the running as what a vice president I believe your vice president Ari Shafir is the president of Legion of Skanks this is one of the best things I saw he's not on Legion of Skanks Ari Shafir is the president of Legion of Skanks he's not on the show he's not on the show so tonight what's funny is that we did a whole presidential election, which is sort of a hack radio bit, but we did it our own way. And we just spent two months doing this every single week. A new event, and Ari's just a psycho. Ari brings

out the best in us. Love him or hate him. He's just going to he's just like a force. He gets in the room. You're like, all right, we got to pull our dicks out. This is Ari's here. Somebody's got a shit in a hat right now because Ari's here. He definitely brought out, we got to pull our dicks out. This is Ari's here. Somebody's got a shit in a hat right now because Ari's here. And that, like, you know, he definitely brought out, like,

we started to just try to outdo each other. It became this competition of trying to be, you know, dirty and filthy and be funny and try to surprise each other. And it all culminated with Big Jay Oakerson, who's one of the Legion of Skanks, being dosed with acid. You know this story?

No, it's fucking incredible. In the final episode. Ari loves this. Listen to this, though to this though yeah yeah that's his move but ari like they tried to outdo ari they tried to out ari ari and ari knew what was going on it was incredible i fucked up i fucked up i'll tell you right now it was on me i fucked up i thought that i can outsmart ari for nobody listen to me nobody nobody can outsmart ari shafir that's a fact i'll tell you right now okay so ari shafir about a year ago uh dosed burke kreischer with molly at his house and it was a whole thing like their friendship behind the scenes was legitimately in question like real issues for a while right

real issues with their friendship i had to go home to my kids yeah not happy yeah so i was like fuck this dude ari's been killing us. I knew he was going to win the election. I was like, I'm going to fucking dose Ari tonight. So this kid brought acid to the show. He was like, do you want to ask? And I was like, yeah, I want to ask. So I had my employees.

This is illegal even say, I think at this point I gave it to my employer. I was like, make sure this gets an Ari Shafir's beer. Okay. Just put a tab of acid in his beer. Now I fucked up and I told shane thinking that shane you know look i get that he's on team ari but at the same time it's pretty goddamn funny to dose ari she fear with acid on leisure to skanks let us just do it all right let us do i i assumed that shane would just let it happen because that is the absolute funniest scenario no well i don't

know shane goes and tells ari okay so this this all happens on camera. You can go back and watch this episode. You see the moment where Big Jay gets up to do some little speech. Ari takes the beer, switches it with Jay's. Big Jay. Now, Big Jay's never done acid in his life. He has massive anxiety as it is. He's an innocent fucking bystander right now. I didn't know Big Jay's never.

Big Jay looks like a guy who does acid. No, no, no. Big Jay is a pussy when it comes to hallucinogens. I don't know. Acid. I'm not going to call someone a pussy if they don't do acid. I think that's a pretty decent line to have. Real bitch move to not take LSD and give 12 hours of your life to being on another planet,

in my opinion. So Jay starts drinking it, right? And then, you know, I'm having this moment. It's brilliant. You got to give Ari so much credit for this because in this moment, like, Ari starts acting like he's on acid. So he's like looking at the lights. And me and my whole side of table are cracking up like we finally got ari we know he's gonna win but fucking at least he's tripping on acid now

so i get up and i start gloating like i am the king of mayhem ari you ain't got shit on me and then his face just stops it he goes oh really and really? And they reveal that Jay is dosed. And you just see Jay starts to panic. He's like, well, did the show ends with Jay? I mean, Jay leaves trips for 26 hours, furious with all of his friends for two weeks straight. We question whether or not we're going to continue with Legion

of Skins. It was wild. So tonight, from here, I'm going to meet up with my quote-unquote lawyers. We're having the trial of the century. Myself versus Ari Shafir on Legion of Scant. Who is more responsible for Jay's dosing? Me for introducing acid or Ari for actually dosing him. So that we're doing.

Salvo Cano. I feel like Shane Gillis has got to be, you know. Shane's a co-defendant. Salvo Cano from the Impractical Jokers is the judge. We have a 12-com comic panel of jurors. It's so fucking stupid, dude. I love it, though. I mean, the election was incredible.

And when people try to say that we're political, I'm like, dude, what are you talking about? We are dumb. Literally, this is where we thrive. And I feel like- They're drugging each other. Everyone else, for some reason, there needs to be this more serious tone to content,

whatever it is. If you watch a sporting event now, people are taking knees and they're fucking arguing about this that and the other you watch saturday night live it's all political all the comedy content all the movies everything that goes out there there's just this this tone constantly and we just don't give a fuck there's none of that when it comes down to what we do and i think that's why by your rules like i hate when it happens with celebrities and i guess comics to an extent now where it's like you have more more so uh just celebrities actors and shit you have an obligation with your platform it's like fuck you yeah we get that sometimes too it's like i have an obligation

to like my goddamn self that's it i want my obligation is to i gotta pay bills yeah i gotta and i want to try to make you laugh and like you know in the past year I probably got caught up more so than anybody at Barstool talking about George Floyd and the protests and all that saying shit that I believe to be just like common sense and I realized that you can't win I'm getting it from every side and I was just like so I'm just not doing this

anymore yeah that's not why people are here who said that that I'm not I'm not a role model? There's a famous... Charles Barkley. Yeah, Charles Barkley. That's exactly it.

Yeah, man. Raise your own fucking kids. You almost... Not my job. I think as a brown person, minority, I think women deal with it a lot. There's this other, you know, like, oh, you have a responsibility for your people. It's like, well, my people aren't defined by my skin tone. I got to be honest with you. My people are defined by who lives under my fucking roof as simple as that

that's it and yeah i i think that yeah there's a lot of that right now and um we don't uh you know i have my own personal beliefs and i i do have i i read the i read the news and i there's things that i really care about um but the only responsibility that I have, honestly, the only thing that I can really do is create shit that make people laugh. What, what can I do? Like the, the, the more important thing for me, I can go and make, you know, a shit ton of people laugh every single week when we do these shows and create, in my opinion, what is very tangible, positive energy, a real positive thing.

And when people like, dude, how could you joke about something like that? I'm like, what are you talking about? We meet thousands of people in a collective moment, laugh, and breathe a moment of fresh air and relief, and not think about all the bad shit that's going on in the world. I think there's only positivity

from that. Do you think that this, the most offensive podcast in the world, do you think that that could only exist in the podcast era? Like, we were talking about that recently. Like, I think it's hard to get canceled now because, you know, my fans like me. Yeah. Like, eyes aren't going away.

Like, someone could say, like, oh, I'm not going to go watch that actor's movie or whatever. Like, my family, my fans like me because of this. Yeah. So you can't really cancel me. The Skanks fans are going to be, as long as your fans are bigger than the mob you'll always win. You'll always be okay. I mean look, I think where we're trending, yeah, it's going to be harder

and harder, right? So you look at Reddit, you look at YouTube, you look at these platforms which are you know, they're regularly just taking away opportunities from people that are just, you know, saying stupid words, you know, and the whole deplatforming thing, we don't got to get into the bigger conversation,

but I think it will get harder and harder. I think eventually iTunes will get rid of guys like Legion of Skins. Right. I'm wondering, I'm surprised that Apple hasn't even really dabbled in that yet. They are the one,

you got to be honest, you got to give Apple some credit because they just are like hands off. We don't give a fuck. Create the content, put it up there, and that's that. You know why?

Because I don't think they think of themselves as like a podcast company. I mean, they are. They're very much so in a way. Like when Spotify is getting into it with Rogan, and that's where all these questions about are they censoring and all that shit. Because they care about it. I feel like Apple's like, we make phones and products, and you use them to upload this shit. But we don't care what's going on. The minute that they start caring, I think, is going to be a problem.

They're the tools that artists use, right? And I'm a big fan of Steve Jobs, and I've read his biography twice, and I've watched all the documentaries and the movies, and they've always been that. Do you think that, like, I don't know enough about him to, like, would he have backed, like, no, no, let them say what they want? I think so. Yeah, I mean, I really think so. You know, his idea was you give this artist a tool and then he can create better right and that was back in the day with graphic design when apple first came out and you know when you when you're considering you know the what the ipod was and it's like it's it's just a piece of equipment

that artists can use in order to get their their you know content out there better so yeah i think that apple sort of takes that hands-off approach. They're not really – I don't really know about them deplatforming too many people. I think a few people have been kicked off of iTunes at this point. But as long as there's – as long as the KKK is on PayPal and all these – I think they're a little bit bigger than Legion of Sanks. But eventually they will start looking at those platforms. And this is why I created my own platform.

Guest Digital is my podcast network. And I just never really wanted to be in a situation where I had a boss. And once the industry never really gave me much love. And I've been on television and radio. And I've gone through the whole rigmarole and the traditional route and comedy and i never had more success than just doing things myself and and understanding how to put my content in the hands of the people that like my content um much more so than the other paths which were just constantly conforming and changing yourself and and hey you know even if you do a late night set you're like you know

here's my five minutes of jokes tell Tell me what I got to take out. And you just give it to them. You go, cool, I'll take those words out. And you come back. Just at the time, yeah. Yeah, and we're sort of built to sell out young comedians. In the entertainment industry in general, we're sort of built to sell out. And I wasn't good at selling out because in order to sell out, you have to be likable.

People have to want you to win. They want to buy your shit, right? And I just wasn't good at selling out because in order to sell out, you have to be likable. People have to want you to win. They want to buy your shit, right? And I just wasn't good at it. I was never good at getting into those situations. People were like, this guy's a fucking asshole. I don't like him. So I would just rather do shit myself. Yeah, I've always kind of thought you need to be, like, super talented, super likable, or, like, super relatable.

That's kind of like the, you of like you need two of the three. I think being likable is the most important thing in the world, right? The absolute most important thing in the world. And every time I've been in a situation where I have to sit down at a meeting with industry or whatever it is, and I find myself being a phony, I find myself doing all like telling the same stories that you're supposed to tell, and I start to hate myself. And then I start to grimace.

And then the person sitting across from me is like, what the fuck is your problem, dude? And I'm like, I don't even want to be here. And that's been my whole career. My whole career. So the most important thing in the world, in your words, is being likable and you are just not likable at all. Not likable at all, dude.

I'll tell you what it really is. If you want to be a lawyer, doctor, a librarian, if you want to do whatever job, doctor, a librarian, whatever job. If people like you and they want you to win, it'll be that much easier. Or you've got to be extremely talented, and I'm not really talented. So I don't really have anything. All I can do is put one foot in front of the other. I used to think of it as you need two of those three things, and I'm not extremely talented.

And I think in the beginning of my career, people liked me, and I always am kind of relatable. I feel like I'm just an average guy. And then halfway through my career people liked me and i was and i always am kind of like relatable i feel like i'm just like an average guy and then like halfway through my career i lost the likable thing so now i'm just just holding on to the relatability that's like please relate to me well i think yeah you are relatable i think that's maybe why people because i think there's a bunch of curmudgeons out there who who get what i said when i say that they go oh i completely get that and they can relate to that just being an unlikable dick i'm always my default is fuck that fuck him fuck and people think of it as like oh you you hate everything and it's like i don't it's just that my my opinion usually is to hate to hate but i don't actually hate a lot of things or a lot of people but my first reaction to a song or a story

or a topic or whatever is like ah fuck that yeah and i think that it's not likable but i think there's a lot of people out there who kind of react that same way yeah i used to be i think that way as well i used to just be like i i'll just say i broad stroke a genre of music i was like yeah fuck that whole genre all of it you know there's something and then i started creating content right i started like you know putting a podcast out you put out a comedy special you put out whatever and then people start to criticize it and you're like hey dude you know what man we're It's sort of like putting a podcast out. You put out a comedy special. You put out whatever. And then people start to criticize it. And you're like, hey, dude, you know what, man?

We're all just trying out here. So even when a new movie comes out, people are like, dude, that fucking movie sucked. I'm like, you know what, dude? There's a lighting director. And he's got a kid to go hunt to. Who do you think you are? What have you created? I always think about that. We put out a podcast.

And it takes an hour. Twice a week, it takes an hour and a half, two hours, whatever it is. And then it gets criticized and you're like, God, that didn't even take me that long. Where if someone puts a movie for two years and it's like, this movie fucking sucks. Oh yeah, dude, we all do that. I've been writing it for a decade. I've been working on that since 1978. Are you fucking kidding me?

Yeah, I mean, dude, you think about that. The new Ghostbusters came out. It was like, dude, I hope everyone involved burns to death right now. Fuck the Ghostbusters. Fuck the entire female race. And you're like, dude, that's somebody. Most of it was good. The lighting was good.

The special effects were decent. Cinematography. Maybe they didn't like certain elements, but I give them a little bit of credit. 500 people had to come together to create this one piece of content. That's very true. How did you, Jay, Dave, how did the Legion of Skanks come to be? Well, I was doing podcasts probably like 11 11 12 years ago before it was like everybody was doing podcasts right and i was doing robert kelly's podcast a lot and um just as a guest

and uh yeah me and big jay and dave we were just you know friends just friends you know we both me and dave both looked up to big jay in comedy we're just starting out man one of the stories is just like nuts you know. The language of funny, there's almost nobody who is more fluent that can sit in a car and just make you laugh, sit in a script writing, stand-up, podcast, whatever it is. He just understands how to spit out the funniest verbiage. I'm not telling him to compliment.

He's lazy as fuck. It's all natural when he came in here he was telling the story about when he used to dress up as characters for singing for kids birthdays he was talking about just dressing up as Winnie the Pooh and singing like Dr. Dre for the fucking kid in the hood

and it was just like that was one of the hardest I've laughed on this podcast he's just telling a story it wasn't scripted. It's not a thing. And it's just like every word out of his mouth is the right word at the right time and the right cadence and the right, you know. Just understands the timing, the spaces in between words, the silence. Really, really gets it.

And so fuck him. But that is funny is that story relates to Legion of Sanctum how we started. So when we Legion of Sanctum, the name came from Big J used to cheat on his wife all the time, like openly, just didn't fucking care. So one day she was like, fine, me and him were leaving his apartment to go out to shows. She's like, fine, leave. Go be with your Legion of Sanks. I mean, we looked at each other. We're like, that's a fucking great band name.

And we were playing Guitar Hero. That's all we did was play guitar hero so our guitar hero name like 12 years ago 11 years ago was legion of skanks and for like a year or two that's all it was fucking grimy it was just a guitar hero yeah it was a guitar hero name for like two years and then we wrote a script uh based off of that job that jay had and it was about jay this job where during the day he would dress up as kids' characters and at night he would drive around strippers. And his two buddies who would sort of accompany him for rides. And Legion of Skanks, me, Jay, and Dave were written into this script. We actually just did a table read of that script with Ari Shaffir on his YouTube channel. You guys can go listen to that.

It was terrible. And so that's what it was for a while. We pitched this script around for a while. And and honestly it's just because we're not creative we just used the name again we were like we're gonna use it for something so eventually it became the the podcast name and um yeah dude we i mean it kind of i feel like it's like it applies now you know in a weird way it's like with the fans and the crew it's's like your own version of that now. It sort of just came because it was his wife talking about these chicks that were

but it really became, we became the skanks, the fans became this legion. They call themselves skanks and it's become a thing where people, they really feel like they're a part of it and that's podcasting in general, right? So podcasting when you sit down, the reason podcasting is such an incredible medium

radio podcasting all of it is because people feel as if they don't even feel like they truly are you're you're sitting down and you're listening to a piece of content be created and it can never be created the exact same way again the dynamic people could be in different moods even if it's the same two people right things are going on it's like a fingerprint no two podcasts are going to be the same even if somebody ever you ever lose a podcast like it wasn't recording oh yeah and you try to like recreate oh it's not happening you can't do it that's you gotta literally go another day don't even try to go back don't talk about the same topics like yeah and not recreate it's impossible the i think people like podcasting because they

get to listen to that very natural flow of conversation and you come up with these these ideas, these unique concepts, these personalities come together and you go, holy shit, we came to this conclusion. And it's, you know, it's a little bit of compromise for everybody involved. And that's what's incredible about it. You know, and I think that's when Spotify came out and they were talking about how they wanted to have the right to edit some of Rogan's stuff. And that was, I think, what made people freak out. Because you're like, well, no, even when Rogan gets it wrong, who cares? That's a part of the process. You go like, oh, shit, he got it wrong.

Okay, he's having a conversation. Everyone gets shit wrong every fucking day. You talk about relatability. We're all getting shit wrong. We all get facts wrong. So why can't you be a fly on the wall? And why can't somebody get something wrong? Why does he have to issue an apology? why does it have to be you know right mainstream when you find

out that a podcaster got something wrong you just go like oh shit you got it wrong that's it that's that's just how that's the reaction yeah when you find out that your buddy said something wrong in a conversation it's like oh well i believed him in the moment but i realized it's wrong it's not the end of the fucking world. I'm always interested. We've been doing this for almost nine years now, eight or nine. There's very few that we come across that have been doing it longer than us.

I feel like there's always... Is there anybody who precedes you guys that you look up to? Bobby Kelly, I don't know if you guys have a Bobby in here, but he's... That's one guy we got to check off was he doing like a podcast or was it like yeah no he was doing a podcast robert kelly's you know what dude podcast and bobby that's got to be what like pushing 15 years probably 12 years ago something like that it's crazy yeah and i yeah i started doing it on his network he created a podcast network before anybody had podcast networks

and um yeah bobby is is one of the funniest people on the planet. And his show was great. I mean, it was an extension sort of the Opie and Anthony world. And I didn't even grow up on it. I grew up on Howard Stern. I listen to Howard Stern every day on my way to high school. But I think that a lot of those fans, they didn't have anywhere to go. Opie and Anthony got lost.

They were like like what do we do now and i think these some of these podcasts now sort of are carrying the torch and um i think that you know a lot of it is just left over people being like i want to laugh at some fucked up comedy and it just is there anybody you guys think of as like a competition i guess in that in that regard of like we're the dirtiest we're the most offensive we don't give a fuck no there's really not as many left man no there's nobody that's doing it like we i mean there are competitions the wrong word like there's guys like you know tony henscliff kill tony like those guys don't give a fuck those guys are doing some you know some ballsy shit and they they don't

we go on their show they don't give us any restrictions i mean obviously we were on anthony kumia's network for a while kumia and uh compound media what they're doing over there they don't give a fuck at all um but in terms of mainstream and guys that are you know out there i don't think really everyone's afraid to take risk everyone's just afraid to lose that opportunity i mean there are people that won't do legion of skanks as guests because like dude i don't want to i don't want to like be associated with it's not even what you say it's just don't be on the show for sure that's fucking wild yeah like you could go on there and be as proper as you want yeah and and denounce everything you guys are saying but just the mere fact that you're on it would be yeah people uh i just want to get my money right

and then go say whatever i want just fucking gotta get there i I'm set One day I'm gonna show up on Legion of Skanks In blackface And you'll be like oh shit Lewis has got 10 million in the bank Just realize Because I used to say I'm gonna get enough money and then I'll just disappear I'll just fucking Where's Lewis he's gone one day

I'll get so much money that I won't give a fuck That's what happened with Howard Stern. That's why Stern didn't apologize when they caught him using the N-word and blackface and doing all the prosthetics. He was like, what are you going to do? Are you going to fucking cancel me? I'll buy an island. I'll literally buy an island. You can't do anything. That's what he's saying. When you get the money

and when your fan base is bigger than the mob, it's like, you can't cancel me. That wasn't even news. That was a blip on the radar. I don't even think it got a blip. He's like, you can't cancel me. That wasn't even news. That was a blip on the radar. I don't even think it got a blip. He was like, he didn't apologize. It was great. People that hate on Stern,

he said something like, yeah, I'm an asshole. He was like, yeah, that was what we did. Would I do it again? Maybe, maybe not. He wasn't even like, he was so like, oh, what are you going to do? It was beautiful. It was a great moment. I think that's the way you handle it. Because the reality is, it's bully mentality.

So that woke mob and that cancel culture mob, all it is is bully mentality. It's like reverse bullying in a way. They're usually the ones who got bullied who are now bullying back. Exactly. By the way, I've coined the phrase reverse bullying so many times because it's all these people. They do it online. Some chick will be like, they talk shit about you and then you're like fuck you bitch and all your

friends like yeah fuck you fat bitch and she's like look everyone's bullying me it's like no no you reverse bullied me and now you're dealing with the wrath of it so right and that will we always just running that too it's like you're not used to talking shit to somebody who has like a big fan base who's gonna get offended as well well usually we usually tell our fans like let us handle it because we know how to do it better. But yeah, it's like you don't run into many people that have a legion of people

who are going to be like, fuck you. But they want a reaction, so they want to see you move, right? So they go like, oh cool, you'll apologize. I just want to see that you can apologize. They don't even really give a shit. So what's going on with Seth Simons? Is that his name? Yeah. He is like a comedy blogger. He covers apologize they don't even really give a shit no they do so what's going on with this set simons is that his name uh yeah he he is like a comedy blogger he covers like the scene and just talks

shit about guys he doesn't like like i know it's you i know it's tim dillon i know it's like just basically the funny people yeah all the funny all the funny guys that are still doing edgy shit out there yeah is he a comic i don't know if you don't i think he was a comic yeah it's fine i mean i'll talk about it doesn't matter matter. He's a guy who wrote the blog that sort of went viral when Shane got fired, right? So I don't want to say he got Shane fired because the reality is

Shane said a lot of crazy shit on podcasts and they were going to uncover that. Yeah, when we had him here, I was like, you're just not an NBC primetime guy. It was going to be a problem. When we heard that Shane got it, it was like, yeah, but they know what you're saying on podcasts, right? And he was like, yeah, they've had it school. Yeah, that was doomed.

But here's the problem with this guy, right? So he writes the article that goes viral. And I do believe somebody else would have written the same article, right? Shane wasn't getting SNL like that. But it's almost like he gloats about it it like look what i did and then he tries to write more articles like his he's his thing has become that he's he's trying to get guys like me in trouble um and he's trying to sort of kick up dust and and get the cancel culture mob after us um he he struck gold he struck lightning with that one article he's written 10 fucking articles

since nobody cares yeah you know even his audience it's like your fans are reading it just saying He struck gold. He struck lightning with that one article. He's written 10 fucking articles. Nobody cares. Who's even his audience? It's like your fans are reading it just saying, fuck you. I don't think he has his own audience to tax your value. Look, if I was getting SNL or some sort of big mainstream show, maybe he can kick up some dust. But it's like, who are you writing articles for? It's like, look, the Legion of Skanks.

They say crazy shit. It's like, okay, we're podcasters. We named ourselves the most offensive yeah so this guy he has this uh you know he essentially has it out for us you know at this point once again emotion sells right so what these people do is they create more emotion for us you know we have a festival skank fest we have a podcast network cast digital our fan base every time they say something our family is stronger in the relationship i know yeah we say that all the time too i want you know when we We have a podcast network, Cast Digital. Our fan base, every time they say something, our fan base is stronger. They strengthen the relationship.

I know, yeah. We say that all the time, too. When we had Louis C.K. show up for Skank Fest a couple years ago, after he was canceled, we had however many millions of impressions online. Half of them were people saying, yeah, fuck this venue. They should be canceled and shut down. But we never really – we weren't talking about that. When I went to sponsors and said, hey, just so you know, we this venue. They should be canceled and shut down. But we never really, we weren't talking about it. When I talked about it, when I went to sponsors and said,

hey, just so you know, we had 20 million impressions last year, the sponsors just went, cool. It's as simple as that. So the more they talk about it, literally, in a very literal sense, the more they line my pockets. So I want to, please, keep on writing articles. Keep on getting my fan base to be that much more emotional because I think it only strengthens what we have. So and what happened over the summer with this dude who pulls you off stage?

What was the repercussions of that? Oh, was that a brother or a boyfriend? I think I initially heard it was a boyfriend. So, yeah, Big Jay got pulled off stage. Yeah, so we were at a show and Big Jay was trashing this girl. She was just drunk and being a fucking idiot. So he's just, you know, trashing her. And at that point, I, like, it was, he was trashing her so good that I just went over

to the next stage to get a better, like, I wanted to hear it because it was so funny because this girl's just drunk. And, you know, she's like, fuck you. You're all racist. And she's, like, yelling at the crowd. The crowd's just cackling, laughing at her face. Everyone's pointing and laughing. The point where it's, she's getting yelling at the crowd. The crowd's just cackling, laughing at her face. Everyone's pointing and laughing. She's getting more angry the more they're laughing.

And the more she's getting angry, the more they're laughing. It's a microcosm of what you just described with the bloggers. It's like you talk your shit and complain, and we love it. Yes, and they're fucking laughing. And everyone at this point is just having a ball, having a blast. She goes to leave, right? And Big J is like, all right, see you later, blah, blah, blah. Still trashing her.

So her brother, at that point, bum rushes the stage and is like, that's my fucking sister. And he grabbed Big Jay by the leg and just pulled him off the stage. And you see me run out from behind. Yeah, you were right, I mean. Yeah, dude, I tried. You're not a dude I want pouncing on me. Well, I'm too fat and slow, so I didn't make it.

He pulled Jay off the stage, and I just climbed down slowly. But yeah, people get fucking stupid. Nothing came up. Big Jay wasn't hurt. He wasn't hurt. You got to press charges or something. We tried to, but the amount of effort to go back to fucking Pennsylvania, it's just not worth it.

Nobody got hurt. And he got the worst of it anyway. The fans, I think, roughed him up a little bit. I heard. I didn't see anything, obviously. And yeah, apparently he maced himself. That's what I heard. He may have maced himself.

He may have kicked himself a bunch in the chest. I don't know. Walked into a couple doors the next day. Yeah, who knows? Who knows? How bad did the uh the election hurt was that was that tough for you or did you uh you just kind of keep it moving uh is that going to be a yearly uh it's two years for two years okay so your term ferrari he's a president for two years two-year reign of terror man that is has has he enacted anything

did he change any rules well you're allowed to call in once per episode and mute somebody's microphone it's been my episode my microphone every episode for the whole show for a minute one minute one minute muting power he could uh i love this shit i fucking love how the skanks does this i think it's amazing he could veto any bit so we ever for the past five years we've done something called the badass battle of the bands. And you have like one band every year wins a few thousand bucks. And they get their songs played before the show every week for a month. And it's a big deal for these young bands around the country. He just nixed it?

Nixed it. He was like, no. He was like, I hate it. He just doesn't like it? He doesn't even not like it. He just is a fucking asshole. Just like crushing some band's dreams. That's fucking incredible, man.

We'll see what happens. And so is there anything next for this gang? So you guys even thinking in terms like that? Like, do you have any? Oh, you got this fight. What's going on with this MMA fight? So do you guys know Jason Ellis? Yeah.

I mean, I know the name. I know. I know. I'm not plugged into the MMA world or as much as. So Jason Ellis is a radio host. He hosts Jason Ellis Show and Sirius XM, former professional skateboarder and performer professional mixed martial artist. He's got a couple of fights.

I did his. He does a thing called Ellis Mania every year, which is essentially, you know, I think you guys do like Rough and Rowdy or something similar. It's a similar concept, I believe. Whereas as fans show up, they fight each other, they do silly fights, they do roller skate fights, a bunch of different events.

And last year I ended up or I guess two years ago now, I ended up doing an MMA fight against another comedian. Won that fight. I'm not an athlete, never trained for anything in my life, but it was a cool experience. Really, really cool experience. And you won. Yeah. I'm not an athlete, never trained for anything in my life, but it was a cool experience, really, really cool experience. And you won. Yeah, I won.

I ended up winning a decision, and Jason Ellis, who's got a lot of experience, somebody asked him if he would ever fight me, and then he started talking shit. He was like, he's Australian, so I'm not going to do an Australian accent. He's like, I'll kick his ass, Mike. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, so then

I just took the bait, i was like well fuck it all right dude i'll fight you just because why not um well so that you might get your head beat in like that that that's what i would be worried of but yeah he's kind of a scary dude i gotta be honest with you it's definitely a much uh tougher challenge than the last comedian that i fought but i don't know dude the way that i look at it is like, I train a bunch. I get in shape. Right. At the end of it, I got to fight this guy. I'll make a bunch of money. Who gives a shit? What's the worst that could happen? I get beat up. I, then I'm in great shape at the end of it.

I got a bunch of money in my pocket. If somebody said, I'm going to get, I'm going to give you fucking abs and put thousands of dollars in your pocket. All you gotta do is let Jason Ellis punch you in the head. You probably do it. Right. Right. I think, i think most people would um i just don't really have i don't know if you i don't know if you've ever trained any martial arts i haven't done a ton um for the last fight and now for the past few months i've been doing it pretty seriously um it's fun it's really fun if you go and spar and you go and getting punched and kicked adrenaline sort of kicks in you don't really feel

the pain that way you're not going like oh it's not like your friends punching the arm on your birthday right yeah you're competing and it is a you know anybody who's ever trained before they know what it's like it's a cool experience overall it's very very cool so um that's what's going on i don't think of myself as a real mixed martial artist. I know that I'm probably biting off more than I can chew, but I do have an undying belief in my ability to accomplish any goal. And if the goal is beating up a 50-year-old Australian guy, if that's it, if that's the fucking hill that I got to get over. Yeah, we're not setting it too high.

That's not fucking. I got to look at my 7-year-old son in the face and say, he can do whatever he wants to with his life. There's nothing that he can't do. I can't beat up a 50-year-old Australian. That's the hill I can't get over. What type of father am I? So you've got everything on the line here.

You've got it. You put your fatherhood on the line, man. You put your son's future on the line. I really think of it that way, though. It's almost like that. There's multiple paths to get there. I believe there's almost anything in life if you want to do it. There's multiple paths to get there. I believe there's almost anything in life if you want to do it. There's a path to get there. There's a series

of decisions you can make to get you from point A to point B to point C to point Z, right? Whatever it is. Could be a billionaire, could be fucking becoming an Olympian, whatever it is. For almost anybody in the world, I really believe that deep down inside. He's got to make those choices. Is that line Jason Ellis beating him in a

fucking physical company, is that the line that I can't cross he's about my size he's we're gonna weigh 205 pounds he's about six foot six one and how old you um 38 all right so he's got the he's older but he's got experience he's got a lot more experience he's got he's athletic fight a few years ago but he's athletic he's you know he's got a uh but i mean the reality is you're punching each other in the face. See, that's what I would worry about with MMA is like, yeah, maybe we can all just like slug it out. But like is he going to like – does he have like submission holds and shit? Oh, yeah. He'll have all that.

He's got a ton of jiu-jitsu experience. Are you learning that? Oh, yeah. Dude, I train with Mickey Gallows, a UFC 170-pounder. That was what would scare me is like he's going to put me in some hold I've never even fucking heard of and I'm – Yeah, I've – I will – I put a lot of time i've been training really really i think i feel like i look pretty good at this point i was just saying you like when you came in here i didn't know oh you're like a you're a big dude yeah yeah i i feel pretty good about it and the reality is

we're also worst case scenario is like you know let's say i lose this fight i am that much better able to handle myself right i'm that much able to protect myself, my family, my girlfriend, my son, my loved ones. So there's all of this plus side. And the only negative side of it is losing a fight. And if you've ever lost, I've got my ass kicked before. And it feels like, I don't even want to talk too much about losing because I don't want to put that out there in the universe, but it's like, if he's the one with the experience and he's expected to win, we're going to lose.

If he doesn't finish me in the first, he fucking loses in my opinion. I'm going to tell you right now, I don't think he's going to finish me in the first. I'll tell you right now, I'm training to win this fight. I'm training to knock this guy out. So whenever the fight does happen, we don't have a date for it yet. He's recovering from knee surgery.

I just took him in the fucking knees, man. Dude, he also has like a heart thing. Punch him in the heart. Let's go. I've. I just took him in the fucking knees, man. Dude, he also has a heart thing. Punch him in the heart! Let's go! I've been doing just one inch punch just over and over again. Practicing that. A lot of knee kicks. People are like, dude, what if you killed him? I would feel like a god amongst men. If I

actually killed him in the fucking... The first death in MMA, North American MMA, I would feel like that would be pretty badass. I don't want him to die. I'm just saying that I wouldn't feel bad. That's his own choice. I love it, dude. Alright, we're going to go next door and answer the internet if you've got a little bit more time.

Legion of Skanks is everywhere. You have The Stand, what, every Monday night? Yeah, Monday nights, Legion of Skanks at The Stand live. We're outdoors as long as the weather permits. And yeah, my podcast network, Gas Digital Network. I got three shows that I host.

Believe You Me with Michael Bisping, who's a former UFC middleweight champion, and then The Real House Podcast. And yeah, Gas Digital, it's, you know, 10,000 hours of content streaming at your fingertips. So yeah, go check it out. It's shit. I've got some issues that nobody can see And all of these emotions are pouring out of me

I bring them to the light for you It's only right This is the soundtrack to my life The soundtrack to my life To my life To my life To my life To my life to my life, to my life, to my life, to my life