KFC Radio - Luke Bryan, Chained Up At Champions Plaza, and See One Person's Text History

Episode Date: March 5, 2019

Luke Bryan comes through like a rockstar and chats about American Idol, his place in country music history, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, how little streaming pays, and even critiques John's singing. Afte...rwards, we hear about John's trip to Chicago to chain himself to a statue, if it's ok to text exclamation points, and being raised in a gym. Voicemails include: port-a-potty or alcohol, moving back in with parents, Bog Saget at my funeral, and whose text history would you want to see You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Today's episode of KFC Radio is brought to you by SeatGeek. We got Luke Bryan on the program. You want to go see a Luke Bryan concert? I'm sure it's sold out, so I'm sure you got to hit up the secondary market. And the best place to go do that, the most affordable way to do that, the most guaranteed way to do it is SeatGeek. Go find the Luke Bryan concert, whatever city you're in,
Starting point is 00:00:30 wherever you want to go see him. Because he goes to all of them. Because he goes to every city. He's a mega star. Is he the biggest guest we've had on the show? I think so. I think so, too. I think he also might be.
Starting point is 00:00:39 He's a host of American Idol or a judge on American Idol. Yeah, and that's his second job. Yeah, yeah. I think I said he's the largest following that's ever come through here. Like add up the followers, like his Instagram is. And I was trying to think
Starting point is 00:00:54 it's not, I don't know who else would really be in the running for that. I mean, he's got many millions. At first I thought he was going to be one of those Beyonce people that has like 50 million people. It's a more reasonable thing. More reasonable total.
Starting point is 00:01:08 Still a couple million. Yeah, still. He's got 9 million Twitter followers. That's a lot of Twitter. Yeah. Instagram is one thing. 9 million Twitter followers. No goddamn joke.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Anyway, you find the Luke Bryan concert. You pick your seat. You click purchase. And that's it. It's a guaranteed ticket. No fraudulent nonsense. You don't have to do the whole like... you know, I hate those things that are like, click all of the things that have a truck in it. Click all the things that have a street sign in it.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Sometimes I'm like, is that? I enjoy those, actually. Is that corner? I think it's a fun game. That's because you're a simpleton. Because you're an idiot. Ooh, this is difficult. I'm always like, is that corner?
Starting point is 00:01:40 Is that touching picture? Does that count? I don't know. Like, what qualifies as a bridge? I don't know. Anyway, you don't have to do any of that because normal people don't like that stuff except for John. And it's the most affordable ticket
Starting point is 00:01:54 because you have full transparency on all the prices being charged so you know whether you're getting a good deal or whether you're getting charged out of your nose. And you can get $10 off when you use the promo code KFC. So you download the app, go to settings, add a promo code, enter KFC. You get $10 off your first purchase, whether it's music, sporting events, live comedy, Broadway musical, whatever it may be.
Starting point is 00:02:14 $10 off when you use the promo code KFC. Let's get it. Luke Bryan. It's the greatest show. Way to light it up. We won't come down. And the sun can't stop us now. What's it come to?
Starting point is 00:02:29 It's taking over you. This is the greatest show. Colossal we come, these renegades. I didn't know Luke. I mean, I knew Luke Bryan, but I don't know his music. I'm not a big country guy. And I knew who he was, and I knew he was like a sex icon. But I didn't get it.
Starting point is 00:02:53 I was a little unsure. It was like, you know, certain guys, you look at like a Hemsworth, you get it, you know? I get it. You get it. I get it now. Really? I did not get it. Really quickly.
Starting point is 00:03:04 I got it. I always got it, Really quickly I got it I always got it but I really got it First of all he's tall He steps out the elevator And you're like oh that's a mega celebrity You feel it Black boots on black leather jacket Yeah look as sharp as fuck
Starting point is 00:03:20 6'2 3'0 he's taller than you right So he just has a presence about him and he was so cool yeah he was the second we sat down he was cool as shit he had after the interview he like heard that eric i think he told america was was asking for him so he just barged into erica's office that that's some celebrity shit like oh the ceo of this company's in a meeting i can walk in. I'm Luke Bryan. And I could see the people she was meeting with.
Starting point is 00:03:48 And they were like, oh, shit. It wasn't a Barstool meeting. It was a Barstool meeting, but not what Barstool was. Yeah, it was external people. People were like, where the fuck am I? Luke Bryan just comes into this office. She had the door locked. And I knocked on it.
Starting point is 00:04:02 And she poked her head out. And she was like, I'm busy. And I was like, Luke Bryan wants to say hi. And she was like, no, I'm busy. I was like, this is all front. You're nervous. Like this has whoever that is in the interview will allow Luke Bryan to interrupt you. As a matter of fact, whatever the deal is, it's probably going to seal.
Starting point is 00:04:16 Yeah, it's going to seal the deal. Absolutely. So enough with that. And so Luke Bryan just barged in. I heard that I heard that there was a fan in here who wanted to say hi to me. And that's something I underestimated. I used to think, you know, a guy with an Australian accent, a guy with a Spanish accent or something like that.
Starting point is 00:04:34 That southern drawl is – because I always associate that kind of with hillbilly. But when you're rich and you're composed and you do it and you're just like – Oh, I never really associated it with hillbilly because I went to school in the South. So, I mean, there are hillbillies, but I also know there's a difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a different twang to a hillbilly than just someone from the South. Yeah, this guy has that smooth, buttery Southern accent. One of my good friends is from New Orleans.
Starting point is 00:04:58 And his whole family has that, it's like the French Quarter. The Creole, yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, that's classole yeah yeah it's like oh that's class yeah right right right you're rich yeah he uh he has a presence to him for sure and he is he is so rich he makes like 45 million dollars a year and he sat down with us like i'm always really amazed when people are still so down-to-earth and gracious and then like a guy like that who really has no reason to be, still was, that always really impresses me.
Starting point is 00:05:30 He's upwards of 100 milli in the bank. That's no fucking joke. That is so much fucking money. So much fucking money. I didn't know that before. I probably would have been more nervous before. Yeah, right. You almost don't want that much info on guys like him. Now, we knew going into it that he only was doing KFC Radio.
Starting point is 00:05:47 And as we understood it, he said he wants to do Barstool, or someone said he wants to do Barstool. And everyone on his team and our team was like, all right, cool, we'll come through. You'll do a pizza review with Dave. You can do PMT and then do KFC Radio. And we heard back, no, only KFC Radio. Now, I didn't know what the fuck that was about
Starting point is 00:06:05 and I thought maybe he like requested that and then he got here and it was very clear that he I mean he's Luke Bryan he doesn't know who the fuck we are for a split second I was like thinking like what is Luke Bryan like listening to voicemails and watching answer the internet and wants to talk to us
Starting point is 00:06:21 no whatever the reason was his people said we're only doing KFC radio. I would imagine he'll very much be back for more. So you'll see him on all the other things. I believe his people said that it was the start of a beautiful relationship. How about that? Yeah. The only healthy relationships here at KFC radio.
Starting point is 00:06:39 No, that's not true. John is new and thriving. Yes. But Luke Bryan, you know, we had the exclusive and it lived up to the hype and then some. So let's get into that interview. It's brought to you by GOAT. I'm happy we're on board with GOAT. Anytime I can get my my anytime we can do a little business with the sneaker companies, you know your boy KFC is about to be happy.
Starting point is 00:07:09 So, GOAT, I got a bone to pick with GOAT's competitor at the moment. I tried to sell some sneakers through their competitor. They denied both of my pairs and suspended my account. And charged you money. And charged me money. Even though both sneakers were real and new. And one even had a little verification tag thing on it at the time. So fuck those guys. And we're getting down with goat.
Starting point is 00:07:31 Goat is I mean, I use goat the goat app. It's like a secondary market for buying and selling sneakers. I use goat like it's social media. I was gonna say, I just always see you on. I am constantly on it, like especially at night. Oh, man, when I'm like laying in bed, I just pop that thing open and I just start scrolling through sneakers that I want, sneakers that I don't even want, sneakers that I'm buying. It is it's it's an addiction for me. So I got I got a choice here. I'm deciding on getting
Starting point is 00:08:05 the Fear of God Chucks. The Chuck Taylors. I think in the black. I think I'm going to do the black with the cream colored tongue. Or I'm going to go throwback and get the Air Penny 2s. I think you're going to get the pennies. You think so?
Starting point is 00:08:22 I do. I mean, let's be honest. I'm probably going to get both. When I get fixated on a couple things like this, we know where that's going. So the penny twos are like they're – aside from Jordans, I think pennies are the best basketball sneaker line ever. And those original penny twos, I mean, they're crazy now. It's like I don't know how I'm going to pull them off they're like basketball sneakers you know they're not like casual sneakers
Starting point is 00:08:48 but there's a special place in my heart for the penny twos and GOAT is the only people that have them because GOAT will also do you can get used sneakers so like when you're trying to find like the real gems it's hard to find deadstock sneakers so
Starting point is 00:09:03 GOAT will have anybody, you know, you can buy them from real cheap and beat up all the way up to dead stock and everything in between. So when you're trying to find those hidden gems, GOAT is the way to go. They have the bigger selection and the larger array of quality and prices. So I get down with GOAT
Starting point is 00:09:22 because I can find things like that from back in the day because I'm washed up. So you can get down with GOAT, and it goes through the full, like, authenticity, authentication process. So you can get, you know, your Yeezys and your Jordans and stuff that, you know, you don't have to worry about buying any fake pairs. It will go through the whole process. Over 600,000 sneaker listings, over 10 million users,
Starting point is 00:09:51 and you will not find better prices or a better selection. Verified 100%. And right now, when you use the promo code KFC, you will be supporting your boys, KFC and John. That's what you'll be doing. Go to GOAT.com, G-O-A-T.com slash KFC. Pick out your sneakers. Let me know which sneakers you think I should buy,
Starting point is 00:10:13 the Fear of God Chuck Taylors or the Air Penny 2s, and let me know what you're getting over at GOAT. It's G-O-A-T.com slash KFC. Download the app, browse your sneakers, get your sneakers, and let me know. Let's get into Luke Bryan right now. Looking good, man. Looks sharp. A little salt and pepper. Nice flow.
Starting point is 00:10:34 I do. I do like the look. It's a little distinguished. You might be the first person to ever publicly announce that I got a little salt and pepper. Oh, shit. We started off on the wrong foot? Yeah, hell, I have to look at it every day. Just nobody's had the balls to say it. All right, let's go then.
Starting point is 00:10:51 It's Luke Bryan on KFC Radio. Fucking superstar, man. I got to be honest, I don't even know what you're doing here, dude. You're bigger than us. Probably not the best way to start an interview is telling you that you're way too famous to be here. But we appreciate it. Everybody listening is thinking it. You're slum famous to be here. But I appreciate it. Everybody listening is thinking it. You're slumming it right now, and I appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Oh, man. Hell, I'm always up for a new good time. Like walking in the – we got off the elevator, and, you know, it's kind of a fun scene in there. A lot of energy in that room. And you just walk off, and you're just in the mix. It's intimidating. You have no reception. It's like, who else is drinking on the job out there?
Starting point is 00:11:31 A lot of us. We usually are. you want us to get you a beer i'm good right now i put myself on a uh on a on a two drink per day on a two drink per day thing man because like it sounds like not enough well i'm working out as hard as I – hold on. Let me break – since we can break it down on this show. Yeah, we can. So when I'm not touring, I'm missing out on that two hours a day on stage. So I'll go ride a bike 20 or 30 miles a day and then go do a show. So now that, you know, because of of idle i've kind of taken the front half of the year off so i'm sitting there and i'm like i'm riding my bike hour and a half and doing
Starting point is 00:12:12 all this and i'm like not i'm not dropping any well i'm not dropping any holiday weight some holiday weight around you know historically i can get the holiday weight mid-february i'm'm back to about my normal operating. What I do is I just keep stacking holiday weight year after year after year. It's called getting fat. I had one of the girls in the office yesterday grab me by the stomach and go, my God, John, you're putting on weight. Oh, well, Katy Perry just grabbed my –
Starting point is 00:12:40 we were following each other through a hallway. They were shuffling us all around the ABC studio. She was just messing with me, and she just grabbed my love. We were following each other through a hallway. You know, they were shuffling us all around the ABC studio. She was, like, just messing with me, and she just grabbed my love handles. I'm like, that's not fair. That's not fair. It's not allowed. We had a good laugh. So I say all that because I'm like, what is the thing?
Starting point is 00:13:00 And I'm like, and I've made a, so in my house, I've never had a wine cellar. Okay. I've always, you know, you had to plan your wine event, you know, or whatever, you know, you swing by a liquor store, get you a bottle of wine and, you know, you drink it. And then you're like, I don't want to go drive all the way to the one. Well, now that I have a wine cellar, things are going pretty well for you. Not a good. It's just right there.
Starting point is 00:13:27 Is that your favorite drink, wine? It's like a candy store. Yeah. Well, I wouldn't say wine's my favorite. No. But when you have a wine cellar. Yeah. You.
Starting point is 00:13:35 Drink wine. Yeah, you drink like two. Drink a shit ton of wine. You drink like two. Like, I love, I love, I drink a beer, a couple beers every day. I drink two beers. And then, about seven o'clock, I ease down I drink a couple beers every day. I drink two beers, and then about 7 o'clock, I ease down in my wine cellar, and I'm like, hmm.
Starting point is 00:13:54 So wait, now, to be clear, you have a two-drink rule, but then wine. No. Come on, that's fair. The two-drink rule started two days ago. Wine doesn't count. You can have two drinks, and then you can have wine. Wine is the worst for a damn beer gut. Wine is worse for the beer gut. Charles Oakley, when he got in the fight at Madison Square Garden with James Dolan,
Starting point is 00:14:11 James Dolan accused him of being an alcoholic. And he said, I'm not an alcoholic. I only drink wine. Doesn't count. Which I stand by. Yeah, it's just a fruity juice. It's funny because, you know, you say the salt and pepper. So that means I'm getting a few years on me.
Starting point is 00:14:29 Listen, I don't want to hear it. I don't care about the grades. So I look at those kids out there in y'all's main suit, I'm like, you little bastards. You drink all day. I am not going to allow this because I don't care about the salt and pepper. I don't care about the love handles. You are like a goddamn sex icon. So I don't care about the salt and pepper. I don't care about the love handles. You are like a goddamn sex icon. So I don't care what you
Starting point is 00:14:47 think about yourself. When the girls in this office heard that you were coming, we've been blessed to see a lot of people and a lot of cool people come through here. There has not been a reaction quite like yours. My boss, the woman who runs this whole thing, she says, when's Luke Bryan coming? I said, 2.45. She goes,
Starting point is 00:15:03 she just grunted at me. I was like, what the hell was that? I'll tell you what, though. After just talking to you for a few minutes, the way you exit the elevator, I was like, I get it. I get it. I got you. You're taller than I thought. I don't know why. A lot of actors that come through
Starting point is 00:15:19 here are short. Oh, they always let you down. Yeah, you're a fucking tall guy. Actors always, they always, you know. So you're tall a fucking tall guy. Packers always. You got the whole. They always, you know. So you're tall, you got a song paper, you put on some jeans that are too tight for you, and you go out there and you just wiggle your hips. And the money rolls in. Sell some damn tickets, baby.
Starting point is 00:15:36 What a life. I mean, the dancing cracks me up because I feel like you just go out there and do whatever. Well, you know, the dancing kind of morphed through the years. I mean, you know, you learn you do a little hip shake and all that, and obviously all the girls, you know, they'll scream a little bit. No, that's the thing. It's not obviously. If I stand up and do the hip shake, the girls are not screaming.
Starting point is 00:15:58 Or they are screaming. They're running away. They're like, ah! But, you know, it morphed into, you know, historically through the years, it was all about me just being a cut up, you know, being a just being a cut up. I mean, I felt like if I could get up there and and and and really be chilled out, relax, cut up, do some music, do some fun songs, throw it, throw a serious song in there every now and then to show you that i can be serious but for the most part i'm always for the most part i'm always a cut up but but you know once i start dancing and once i do that man you can see the whole everybody just
Starting point is 00:16:38 go all right this is this is what we've signed up for now let's let's have some fun so it's always kind of been about um you know it's always kind of been about you know just getting up there and being loose and isn't it great how low the bar is for us white people like one hip shaking like he can dance oh i know people like luke's up there Everybody's like, you're such a great dancer. I'm like, well, I just... You remember on Hitch? Did y'all ever see the movie Hitch? We'll see. He's like, you just pick your one deal and just, you know, don't deviate.
Starting point is 00:17:17 So I learned that, you know, grotesquely humping, air humping seems to work. Can you imagine some people out there, some other artists and other genres who are really dancers and like, what the fuck? I don't get any fucking reaction. I went to Juilliard. I studied.
Starting point is 00:17:35 Yeah, that may be, yeah, anyway. Good for you, dude. That may be my Grammy problem. Why can't I get nominated at the Grammys? Because, you know, they say, Well, you got two CMAs, two ACMs. Hey, I'm good, man. You have like
Starting point is 00:17:45 four billion streams? Yeah, it's ridiculous. Fucking Grammy, dude. I didn't know that. Who gives a shit about that? Four billion, dude, with a B. That's a big number.
Starting point is 00:17:53 That's a lot. Just so you know. It's a big number. You know what's really special about, you know, having four billion streams is that you do it,
Starting point is 00:18:02 I did it in the period of music where it pays the least. I was going to say that. What are you seeing, about half a cent for every one of those maybe? Dude, let me tell you. Yeah, we're cussing, and I love to cuss. Do what you want, brother. But the thing about it is, I mean, you know,
Starting point is 00:18:22 and nobody ever wants to hear rich people bitch. That's the problem with all of this. And it's everywhere. It's movies. I mean, you know, it's, but, you know, it is. I had a song that got played 30 million times. But it was 30 million times, like, right when it was, like, still on the way to peaking.
Starting point is 00:18:46 So, you know, then when you, like, since then, it's probably played another 30 million times. Right. So it's probably. But at one point, I had a check in the mail for 30 million plays for $2.67. Shut up. They nailed me. I hope they're on Spotify down. Yeah. Shut up. They nailed me. I hope they're on Spotify down.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Well, it wasn't even Spotify. It wasn't even Spotify. I don't even want to start calling people out. Holy shit. I was actually about to say, listen, much like the salt and pepper, the love handles, I don't want to hear it. I know how much money you made. You're doing all right.
Starting point is 00:19:18 But that number is ridiculous. I don't care if you make a billion dollars. You have the right to complain about $30 million. Like I said, it was funny. At the time, I think that Pharrell and the Robin Thicke thing, about that time, that thing had a billion streams, and I think they got sent like a $25,000 check. You guys need to boycott or something. The whole music industry stopped making music. Man, here's the deal.
Starting point is 00:19:43 You know, you can can't it is what it is it's not like a lot you know i don't lie awake at night thinking about that stuff i mean it would have been nice to you know you come along in the 90s where we used to have cds you know i used to buy i mean i bought all of my heroes see i bought the tape then i bought the cd then i broke the CD, scratched it, loaned it out, went and bought another one. And now, you know, it's just different times. But, man, at the end of the day, you know,
Starting point is 00:20:12 when I can stand on stage and got a packed house, whatever facilitates those moments. Yeah, that's where you make money. Plus, you just, you know. Shaking the ass and all that. You just go ahead and get a gig on, you know, one of the biggest TV shows of all time. That doesn't hurt.
Starting point is 00:20:27 Well, that's been fun too, man. There's so many amazing things that I've done thus far in the career. And like I said, it's good life. Well, how frustrating is it though? It's got to be a little frustrating to just have one of the bad people come in. And you're like, what are you doing here? Why did you wait in line? You know you're not a good singer.
Starting point is 00:20:51 Well, you know, the bad people at Idol. Oh, I thought you meant just all of music. No, no, just bad humans. Oh, yeah, we can bash anybody you want. Well, you know, I mean, Idol is a little better now where they vet. It's, you know, they're not, I would say they're more quirky now and they have, they do have a form of talent. I mean, I think the early years of Idol, a big reason for its success were the auditions. The failed auditions, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:22 And watching people that truly believed they were good i mean we don't you know we don't we we've kind of it felt it feels like we've moved quite a bit beyond that but you know the the biggest the the trickiest thing is when you have a great singer but they want to hit you know they want to they're in there to show off and like they they think in their mind the best representation of them singing is to hit every note right possible right and they don't realize stay in your lane and just do that yeah they don't realize how stupid they look doing it so they just want to you know we're like you know and and they think volume is. Louder equals better. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:16 So, you know, they, you know, it gets funny when you're dealing with somebody that they're just a little, they're not polished. But, I mean, even under the current way we're doing Idol now, we've had some kids that come in and they have great voices. And we work, we kind of coach them through some of their bad habits. And, man, they carve it out. And, you know, by the end of the, you know, they may not make top ten or top. They get better. But they go from, you know, they do make quite a bit of growth. And that's, you know, that's a fun part about the show. You want to do a little coaching for my guy here?
Starting point is 00:22:46 Why should I, me? Any day. Let's do it. She was like, oh, my God, this is my song. I've been listening to the radio all night long, sitting around waiting for it to come on. Was that Bronx? Here it is.
Starting point is 00:23:00 Was that a little bit of the Bronx? Sitting around. She was like, come here, boy. I want to dance. That's it. That was pretty good. That actually may be better than me right now. Yeah, I don't know about that.
Starting point is 00:23:16 I mean, you just talk and it's awesome. Yeah, that accent's cheating. I'm just going to be honest. That's cheating. It's awesome. You're pretty much, there was nothing artistic about that. And pretty much, you didn't sing. You just kind of talked loud.
Starting point is 00:23:36 But you would be hell. So you're Simon. I get it. You're bashing a real talent right now. I see a big karaoke, you know. One day you're going to regret this. You're going to be like, I was at a table with that guy. He's selling out arenas next.
Starting point is 00:23:50 I let the next beaver slide through. The one that I didn't see. The one that got away. You mentioned the whole vibe of, you know, having a good time and like fun songs. And obviously you're selling out stadiums for a reason, but I feel like that's also a very controversial thing in the country music world. That,
Starting point is 00:24:08 that type of music, some people kind of don't like, or kind of trash. I mean, I, I don't personally understand it. I think it's good songs and people like it. Who cares?
Starting point is 00:24:17 But to anybody who kind of like clowns on the stadium country, what do you say to them? You know, it's an interesting dynamic when you look at something about the – I'm shaking from singing. Something about – what did you say? I'm shaking from singing. From singing?
Starting point is 00:24:34 I got you. I got you a little. I was really nervous. Imagine doing it for like 50,000. I thought that was my moment. I was wrong. You know what's funny is I – He's like, oh, my God. I was wrong. You know what's funny is I've been out on the Idol set and sang in front of Lonel and Katie, and you get a little nervous. It's different, right?
Starting point is 00:24:54 It's different. I feel like it's almost as hard to sing in front of three people as it is three million people, right? You know, it's remarkable what those kids come in and do. I mean, it's a grind. But back on the other thing, I do – you know, when – I think it's natural. Something in humanity makes people come at the person on top. Haters, man. It's like Jeff Gordon when he was winning every NASCAR race.
Starting point is 00:25:20 He's a California boy. Oh, my God. They were crushing him. And, you know know even when you look at garth what he was able to do and and you know very very rarely will you find somebody that's able to really be at that high level with and and and duck under tremendous scrutiny i mean you know i have fallen under some of that i've fallen under some category categorization or having the hell you say it but but you know i mean and man i could tell you know
Starting point is 00:25:51 sometimes i've sat up at night and and seen comments and wanted literally wanted to go like let's yeah i'm finding you let's fight let's do it, man. If you think I'm a puss, if you truly think that, I would love to show you. You can throw those hands around? Well, you know what? I'm not. It's hard to tolerate being called you know, stuff. Well, just now
Starting point is 00:26:17 imagine that, but you're not rich. That's y'all. That's us. We're not sex icons and we're poor and they say the same thing well but you know i mean i think our society has been is you know for some reason you know um anyway so i tell you what i'm over you know about the time you know i'm over i really get over that i mean i you know for years people wanted to say luke bryan king of bro country you know and like and people would say so man you're the king of bro country and they're like they don't even
Starting point is 00:26:51 realize that that kind of has kind of a negative yeah yeah i'm like you do realize that you're kind of it's kind of does have a but which you know i don don't mind whatever I created and whatever lane I created really worked for a lot of people. You're goddamn right, man. And a lot of people, and you know what? I can take the lumps. I can, I mean, you cannot like my voice. You're crazy if you do. What's that?
Starting point is 00:27:22 If they don't like your voice. Well, but you know what? I know I'm not going to You know what, I know I'm not going to bat a thousand. I know I'm not going to bat a thousand with whether you like my voice. That's all if it's your thing. But, you know, I mean, you're not going to be able to tangibly look at me, in my opinion, and pick me apart on being not hardworking and not a guy you want to go hang out and drink some beers with and and that's truly and and you know that's why i think that's a big reason why i've wound up
Starting point is 00:27:55 where i'm at you know i mean i think that you know i i know that technically i'm not the world's greatest singer and the world's greatest songwriter and the world's greatest dancer. And I know that. But you know, I've all put them together for a fun package for people to come. I mean, the proof is in the pudding, man. It's like, look at the stadium sellouts. Look at the record streams.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Yeah, and you know, so I mean, I would say I've managed, you know, negativity pretty well. I mean, can I sit here? I can see it's very frustrating to be like when someone tries to call you fake and you're like i'm not this isn't fake this is what i you know i think what i do it happens to us all the time too like oh you made that like no man it's just it's real life this is what yeah don't call me you know when like i mean i love what drives me crazy is I love the outdoors. I'm in a huge format of ABC Disney and, and, and I'm on a,
Starting point is 00:28:51 you know, I, I could take the road of keeping my outdoorsmanship really quiet because that's not a, you know, the public approval of, you know, posting a dead deer on your Instagram. Don't do that. It ain't worth it. Yeah, but I do it to promote. But then when you have a fellow hunter be like, oh, man, you're a fake hunter. Oh, wow. Dude, why are you going to – man, I'm sitting here using my celebrity platform to grow, you know, to maybe curb the negative connotations about what hunters are and what fishermen are because they do have stereotypes. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:36 I said I could choose. I mean, I have been many times, you know, doing something in the woods or something and take the picture, and're like, oh man, you probably shouldn't post that. I'm like, well, this is what I do. There's a whole culture around it. When somebody doesn't even realize that I'm a positive voice for a hobby of yours and then you still come at me, I'm like... Yeah, it's like you should like me for that.
Starting point is 00:29:58 You should be on my side. You don't have to talk negative. Yeah, but listen. You're on top. People are always going to hate the guy. Another thing that gets you like, you know, when you – I mean, there's a lot of hot-button issues, but sometimes I think all people do see is they do see the stadiums
Starting point is 00:30:19 and the flash and the ability to do this and do that. And when I do do something that I do feel like, man, I could go cut. I could go find what I call really artsy songs. Man, I could write them. I can go find them. But when I do really like, I had a song called Most People Are Good
Starting point is 00:30:42 that was really like a beautifully written song. Disagree, by the way, but it was a beautiful song. I don't think most people are good. But it was an amazing song, and I tend to get overlooked when I do. They're like, oh, he didn't really do a great song just then. Let's get back to his. You could make a thousand artsy songs in a row, and they're going to go back to the cold beer and pretty girls.
Starting point is 00:31:08 And tailgates and all that. But, man, I'd rather. People like pretty girls and cold beer and tailgates. I'll tell you what. When I'm playing a stadium, and I'm driving around that stadium, and people are playing cornhole and throwing the football, and then I go, son of a bitch, these people are here to see me. Like it's a AFC championship game.
Starting point is 00:31:31 And I don't even technically even realize that I've started, that I've kick-started that whole thing. So it's amazing. I mean, I'll take them old beer-drinking party songs any day. Hell, yeah. I mean, I've been to old beer drinking party songs any day. Hell yeah. I mean, I've been to – well, actually, are you doing Country Fest this year, Gillette? We saw a little hint on a tweet there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:57 So I've actually – I mean, those are the best. Those are the best days. That's like the best summer party. You saw the tweet. You saw the tweet. Use your own brain. You saw – was it a tweet or was it a – It was you with the best summer party. I would say you saw the tweet. You saw the tweet. Use your own brain. You saw the – was it a tweet or was it a – It was you with the T-shirt.
Starting point is 00:32:09 It was like, what are you doing this summer? But the – I've actually been put in timeout having so much fun at that tailgate. You've done it before. Are you in 2016? Yeah, I was actually – I did two – hell, I did two nights in a row there. Oh, it's always like the biggest party. The timeout was special, though. I was doing timeout by police officers.
Starting point is 00:32:28 The police officers, I'd go sit down on the curb for a little while. They didn't arrest me. They were just like, sit down Indian style right there for 10, 15 minutes. And he just stood by me. That's how a damn police officer ought to do it. It was my 21st birthday. I make a song called Time Out. And it's about a young country boy who's having a little bit too much fun. Put you in the corner. You make a song called Time Out, and it's about a young country boy who's having a little bit too much fun.
Starting point is 00:32:45 Put you in the corner. You know, we – I tell you, you know, when you look at the Boston area, you know, I mean, I've looked – you know, when we've set out doing shows, I mean, some people have – some people are like, oh, my God, you abandoned us. You left Gillette to go play Fenway. And I'm like, you realize that what you're saying doesn't really make sense because when I find out I have the opportunity to go play Fenway and Gillette and I can just play stadium darts.
Starting point is 00:33:19 Yeah. I mean, cut the boys some slack, you know. So what I'm saying is, you know, playing Fenway last year and then playing like Dodger Stadium. I mean, these are things that, man, when it's a Sunday and I'm sitting on the couch and my boys are sitting there and I'm like, you know, your pop, you know, sold that place out and they're like, what you talking about?
Starting point is 00:33:39 You know, that's – I'm 75, man. I don't care if I've dwindled all my money away. At least I'll have those memories and stuff like that, which I'm planning on dwindling. I was going to say, dwindle away. You can't take it with you, man. My kids are going to be the most pissed off kids. Nothing left.
Starting point is 00:33:59 It's all in the wine cellar downstairs. Read the will. All right, man. Well, you're on American Idol. You got the new single out, What Makes You Country. Hit number one, like the 21st song you had hit number one, which is just ridiculous. 20 seconds, actually. 20 seconds?
Starting point is 00:34:13 Who's down? And the summer tour, so go check them out. Yeah, man. Sunset Repeat Tour starts 31st in Philly, right? Yeah. May 31st. Yeah, 31st Philly. And keep shaking those hips, brother.
Starting point is 00:34:24 I'll get my buddy Jimmy Butler out maybe to the show, I guess. You're Jimmy Butler's buddy? Man, you know, Jimmy's like a country fan. Really? Yeah, I knew he loved Taylor Swift. By the way, has Taylor Swift put out new music this weekend? You got any insight in for that? Taylor would not.
Starting point is 00:34:40 I'm going to say yes. No, I see that face. I know what it is. Come on, you talked to Katie, right? Are they doing like a joint song or something? I certainly, I just found out they made up. Yeah, they did like the olive branch. Yeah, they did the olive.
Starting point is 00:34:52 A lot of conspiracy theories roaming around the internet about Taylor putting out new music this weekend. Do you like Taylor? Yes. I think she is, I think she is beyond, you know, when when you look she's just beyond wonderful when you look at how she built her career nobody nobody worked it harder than her she really fought for people with streaming too like lesser artists with apple music and whatnot right well but she's fall you know the thing about taylor you know whether you want to get into, you know, I don't get into whatever her politics are or whatever her beef with Katie
Starting point is 00:35:31 and whoever wants to gossip on that. But when I look at her starting her career, I mean, she pioneered building a career by social media. Nobody, I'm talking like spent 10 hours a night after shows talking to every fan for four years i mean there were god bless her i mean she literally did it and it's not i mean i may not even be over exaggerating it enough and uh you just have to respect it and you have to go from country. She was in that country world where she was in country. She kind of got beat up for being too big.
Starting point is 00:36:14 And then she transitioned into a mega pop star too. So she's certainly something that— You guys just get together and drink wine and burn $100 bills. Well, the thing about Taylor, too, the thing about her is I've gotten to meet her many, many times. And whenever you meet her, she makes you feel like you're the most important person
Starting point is 00:36:36 in the world right then. She's really engaging. Well, so are you, man. We appreciate you coming. I mean, the way you were... You're very down-to-earth. Well, I'm done with y'all now. Let's talk it over, all right? well so are you man we appreciate you coming I mean the way you were you're very down to earth you're very real I'm done with y'all I'm done with y'all
Starting point is 00:36:46 so let's fucking over alright I gave you I gave you two minutes two minutes more than I anticipated thank you so much
Starting point is 00:36:54 thank y'all alright big thanks to Luke Bryan that interview was brought to you by Postmates I just love Postmates there's really nothing else I can say about it
Starting point is 00:37:04 I mean I mentioned the GOAT app I'm on Postmates. There's really nothing else I can say about it. It's the greatest app that ever existed. I mentioned the Goat app. I'm on Postmates. I'm either buying sneakers or I'm browsing my food on Postmates nonstop. It's Twitter and Postmates, Twitter and Postmates. All I do is browse through. I'm like, I could get this food. I could get these groceries.
Starting point is 00:37:18 I could get these, like, supplies if I need it. Oh, look at that. This is my favorite store. That's on Postmates as well. Postmates is a lifesaver. I don't even know how people... It's one of those things I can't even remember life without it. It hasn't been that
Starting point is 00:37:32 long, but I'm like, wait, I used to not be able to just browse on my phone. I used to have to call every delivery place and talk to someone on the phone. I have to go get my own food. I have to go pick it up. I have to go cook it. Or even just not being able to browse. If I wanted to order some food it was like all right uh the pizza place uh the chinese place now it's like all right let me just scroll through see what's open see what's available see
Starting point is 00:37:53 what's cooking and uh it's got i mean 25 000 different merchants so basically anything you want especially if you're in like a major city It's like absolutely everything here in New York is on Postmates. It gets delivered to you within the hour and you get the text updates. It always lets me know your Postmate is on the way. I'm like, alright. What up, Franklin? What's up, Wallace?
Starting point is 00:38:18 Most ridiculous names from your Postmates people. Tweet me pictures of your screenshots of your Postmates. Every name is just today. Casey had Esteban Esteban. So it's just Postmates is just like a part of my life at this point. And right now, when you use the promo code KFC, you can get a hundred dollars off your delivery for the next week. So for seven days, a hundred dollars to spend.
Starting point is 00:38:46 So basically all of your delivery is going to be free. So why would you not? And sign up for this right now because I think we break it every time we do it. Yeah, do it now. We'll give you a second to pause the podcast. Go sign up for Postmates. That is a good point. As soon as people started using it, they had to shut off the promo code because everybody was getting free delivery. They're like, wait a minute. We didn't think this was going to happen.
Starting point is 00:39:02 Download it now. Order your stuff now. Seven days worth of free delivery on Postmates when you use the promo code KFC. Man, Luke Bryan, dude. I just want to be more like him and less like me. Very cool guy. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You really know the way to put it.
Starting point is 00:39:20 He's just a cool cat. I mean, afterwards, Ellie was not here that day that he was here, and she really was broken up about it. He's just a cool cat. I mean, afterwards, Ellie was not here that day that he was here, and she really was broken up about it. She's a big fan. So she had a picture of herself on the phone, and she asked my brother if he could hold up a picture of her and take a picture. So she would have a picture, quote unquote, with Luke Bryan. And he was like, I'll do you one better. And he grabbed her phone turned on the turn on the video and was just like what's up Ellie I heard you couldn't be here today I just oh oh there's something in my beard I can't get it out he was just like shooting this shit making this personalized video then he went out there he's dapping it up with spider chatting it down with
Starting point is 00:39:58 with Erica it's the cool fucking cat yeah I'm a Luke Bryan fan for life. That's for sure. I mean, much like, uh, we also had, uh, on Friday we had Dan Soder and Krista Stefano in here. You'll hear them on the podcast and on answer the internet, uh,
Starting point is 00:40:15 coming up in the, in the coming weeks. I don't like having guests like that because I realized that I'm never going to be as funny as they are. I don't, you know, Luke Bryan almost made me depressed. It's like, I will never even be one millionth that. Yeah, I mean, like, I just accepted that.
Starting point is 00:40:34 It's not like a big thing to me. A sex icon music star with the presence and, like, the grace of, you know, one of the nicest people of all time. It's like, fuck you, Luke Bryan. Fuck you, dude. You dick. But, yeah, John's just accepted his fate as not that. I guess I should do that, too.
Starting point is 00:40:52 Yeah, I mean, I don't know why you're still holding out hope for anything good to happen in your life. That's clearly not going to happen. Yeah. Yeah, I talk to people. See, we're both broken, but you You know you are Yeah you just accepted it I'm so broken I realized it this weekend I had a friend Who got engaged
Starting point is 00:41:11 And I texted her Congratulations girl With an exclamation point And then I followed up that text immediately with By the way I'm sorry if that sounded sarcastic I'm being serious And she was like yeah I didn't think for a single sorry if that sounded sarcastic I'm being serious and she was like yeah I didn't think for a single second you were being
Starting point is 00:41:28 sarcastic about congratulating me on my fucking engagement and like I realized that's how broken I am that just emotion sounds sarcastic to me I'm like what are you why are you pretending to be excited you don't give a fuck about me anytime anyone sends me an exclamation point
Starting point is 00:41:44 I'm like yeah I'm a huge fan of the exclamation points because even in this world now where I have to do the business things sometimes and I'll run it by you I'll be like is this okay you're like yeah it's perfect you have a double exclamation point and I'm like yeah
Starting point is 00:41:59 but it seems fake I don't really use exclamation points I mean I don't like them when I say I'm a fan of them I'm not like yes I really use exclamation points. I mean, I don't like them. When I say I'm a fan of them, I'm not like, yes, I need more exclamation points to show my excitement. It's just that there's no, you leave no room for incorrect interpretation. I'm talking about basically when you're texting a girl or your wife.
Starting point is 00:42:19 I was just saying, it muddies the water more for me. I've never sent, unless I apologize right afterwards, if I had an exclamation point, I was being sarcastic. Yeah, I mean, I wasn't being genuine with you. I was I was feigning enthusiasm because I don't have any. I find it to just be a blanket statement, a blanket like move where it's just like, I'm not even going to allow you to think that I'm just being like, yeah, all right, I'll see you for dinner. I'll see you for dinner.
Starting point is 00:42:49 Everything's the exact opposite. I'm happy. I swear to God. I'm fucking smiling. Here's an exclamation point. That's what that means. I think it's the exact opposite. I'm like, oh, they're playing me.
Starting point is 00:43:01 They know they're supposed to seem excited, so they're putting this fucking symbol in here. They're playing me. Fuck them. I see what you're doing. I get it. I know exactly what you're doing here. I read right through you. You? Oh, you're excited for me?
Starting point is 00:43:11 No fucking chance. I'm not excited for me, so why the fuck are you? There's no way you're being serious. Why are you lying to me? You see how deep dive I get in my head? This is just a normal conversation. Normal conversations. I'm just like in my head.
Starting point is 00:43:25 Wait, what are they fucking? What's their angle? Could you imagine being excited to see John Feidelberg? Yeah. Like for what? I can't. For fucking what? What could John possibly do, bring to the table,
Starting point is 00:43:39 that makes you be like, I can't wait for this social interaction. So happy. Can't wait for this weekend. Why? Fucking liar. I'm just going for this social interaction. So happy. Can't wait for this weekend. Why? Fucking liar. I'm just going to let you down. Fucking liar. You know I'm going to let you down.
Starting point is 00:43:50 Why are you excited for this weekend? But is it almost narcissistic that you're assuming that they're coming into it being like, John's going to make some shit happen? You know, they're like, yeah, you're not going to let me down because we're just going to hang out and talk. And it's totally fine. Yeah, but that doesn't deserve an exclamation point because we're just gonna like hang out and talk and it's totally fine but but yeah but that doesn't deserve an exclamation point yeah well that's we're just gonna hang out and talk doesn't mean like you're not so excited for that that's just fucking life that's not exciting it's getting so fucked you know what else i did
Starting point is 00:44:18 this weekend well i did a lot we got a chain yourself to a fucking statue in detroit in chicago you can talk about that but I had like one of the most John interactions ever and that's scary so my flight was delayed for two hours something like that and I got up I was talking to Dan um on the phone and I was like five feet away and I had headphones in so I couldn't really hear anything else so probably I was talking five feet away from what where are you I was just got up from. So probably I was talking on the phone. Far away from what? Where were you? I just got up from my seat because there were people. Well, actually, there weren't people.
Starting point is 00:44:50 There were two empty seats. You were sitting by the gate? Yeah, sitting by the gate. There wasn't a bar in this terminal. Ugh. Yeah, brutal. Yikes. And there were two empty seats on either side of me.
Starting point is 00:45:00 Mm-hmm. But still people close enough where I don't like having conversations around people. So I was like, I'm going to get up. I'm going to go just kind of basically walk. Yeah, do the wander. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll talk on the phone there. And I guess I had headphones in, so I couldn't really hear how loud I was being.
Starting point is 00:45:17 And I was like, the phone call was actually wrapping up. And I was like, Dan, you're not going to fucking believe this. Some girl just took my seat. They were were open seats and she just sat in mine that's i was like that's fucking nuts right well what do i do and i don't know why i asked what do i do i knew what i was going to do walk away and find another seat and and and dan's like i mean you gotta you gotta bring it up i'm like that's that's crazy. There were open seats, and she took yours? And I was like, yeah. I mean, she was sitting. She saw me sitting in that seat.
Starting point is 00:45:50 She was sitting across the way. I recognized her. I'd been looking at her. Was there any mark that it was yours? Did you leave a bag? I left a jacket, water bottle, bag in front of it. OK. And I was like, this is insane.
Starting point is 00:46:00 This is an insane person move. I'm going to be flying on a flight with a crazy person. And he's like, you got to talk to her, dude. You have to. I was like, I'm going to talk to her. Trust me. I'm going to do it. This girl's going to get a piece of my mind.
Starting point is 00:46:12 We're going to hash this out. And we'll confront this stranger. So I lied to Dan. And then as I get off the phone, I go back to my seat. Because I did. I had to get my stuff. Had I had my stuff, I would have just retreated and ran away forever by taking the flight right um and i i go there and she's like i just want to say i'm so sorry i didn't realize this was your seat and i was like
Starting point is 00:46:35 oh no no no no it's totally fine well like boys would have like a hundred octaves i didn't need to notice i I know. It's totally fine. It's totally fine. Don't worry about it. John just becomes Mickey Mouse all of a sudden when you confront him in public. Actually, if you don't mind, if you could just scooch over a little bit so I could get my jacket off from under you, that would be great. I'm sorry to bother you with that. But if I could just, it's just a totally good thing.
Starting point is 00:46:59 Don't worry about it. Enjoy the flight. I'll see you later. It's a totally good thing. It's a totally good thing. It's a totally good thing. This situation. Like, I want to be very clear. I hate confrontation more than cancer.
Starting point is 00:47:11 If she had been like, if she had just spit on my face as I was getting the jacket, I'd be like, thank you for that. Have a good day. I'll talk to you later. It was one of the more embarrassing. Even she was like, she was embarrassed by how cowardly I was. Like, it made her uncomfortable. She's like, he's not even going to fucking say anything to me.
Starting point is 00:47:32 I feel like she probably did it on purpose. It sounds so ridiculous. I feel like she maybe knew who you were or wanted to push you around or something. Why would she sit in this seat other than to be like, watch this little bitch boy Fidelberg fold in front of me. It was closest to an outlet. Oh, God. But she hadn't plugged anything in yet. Even that.
Starting point is 00:47:52 There was an outlet above the seat, like in between that seat and the other one. Was she pretty? But she hadn't plugged anything in yet, no. I mean, she was just trying to think of the reckless behavior. It was just a girl. It was a person. It was just anybody. It was.
Starting point is 00:48:07 And it was just like. This is good. Don't worry about it. It's fine. Oh, no, no, no. Don't you apologize to me. I apologize to you. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:48:15 I left this stuff on this seat. The social awkwardness of you, John, is just. You make Larry David look like a smooth fucking operator. I did get a boost, though, a mental boost, when I checked into my hotel after. Oh, yeah? Because the guy told me what floor the fitness center's on. And I think I realized, you're not obese
Starting point is 00:48:36 until someone doesn't tell you that when you check into a hotel. Oh, could be the opposite. No, I think he's like... Could be like, you need it. I think he's like... You look like a person who goes to the gym when you travel. Yeah, he's like i think he's like you look like a person who goes to the gym when you travel yeah like he's like oh this guy he might need to hit some weights now he looks like a fellow who keeps himself in shape just so you know fit to sit on the third
Starting point is 00:48:51 floor i'm like that's gonna go in one ear out the other but yeah awesome thing like you roll up there like fat with diabetes they're not like they're not telling you where you can go yeah so i got in the elevator i was like all right maybe i'm not as big as i thought i was i look like a guy who might exercise on vacation. I almost don't like compliments anymore because I need to be shamed into this. I need to hit truly. You know what? This is rock bottom.
Starting point is 00:49:12 We're at rock bottom. Like, I don't want someone to be like, oh, yeah, you look all right today. So, you know, then I'm like, OK, well, I'm good for another. I can eat whatever I want today. Then someone said I look good. Someone also tweeted me in the airport. Someone said, I think my friend's sitting at the gate with you. Are you in a brown jacket?
Starting point is 00:49:30 I forget exactly what they said. But he doesn't think it's you because you're not as fat as he expected. Both those things happened. The jacket was hiding it. Those things both happened in like a three-hour span. See, you don't want that. I want to let you know, John, you're gross. Don't get a false sense of security here.
Starting point is 00:49:46 I do have a pimple. That's it for me, man. I hit rock bottom. You're going to start working out? It's time for a change. It's time. It's fucking time. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:59 So are you starting a workout bet right now? Yeah, but I don't know what to bet. Because I'm probably going to lose this thing. I just want to lose some weight. I don't want to end up like, you know, having to do something really fucking bad. Because what's going to happen is then I'm going to be like, fuck it. Now I'm going to have to do something completely mortifying,
Starting point is 00:50:20 and I'm going to lose this bet, whatever. I'm just going to start eating again. What really, I just need to like lose money. I just need to be like, I have to give you thousands of dollars if I don't hit a certain, certain. I'm in. So,
Starting point is 00:50:32 so, uh, I talked about it on the radio the other day and some, some dude from Equinox hit me up. He's in Equinox in Boston though. So he's like, I'll like come down for the weekend and I'll like, you know,
Starting point is 00:50:43 give you a session and we'll like plan out some, some workouts for you. But I need someone like on a, you know, everyday basis sort of thing. I need someone who's here. There are Equinox trainers here. Yeah. But I, but they're, but they are not offering to do it for free. He's giving you one session for free. Well, he's giving me one session cause he, cause he has to travel down. I don't know what would happen if he was, you know,
Starting point is 00:51:03 what kind of deal he would cut me if he was here more full time. I just feel like I need a trainer of some sort because the only way I'm going to commit is if there's someone else committed to me. You know what I mean? Oh yeah? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:22 Someone had to say something. At least for a couple years. At least for a couple years at least for a couple years i uh until until i had someone being like where the fuck were you dude you were supposed to be here i'm just never gonna show up or do it i'll just let myself off the hook every single time yeah i'll find a way i will find a way to to to rationalize not working out or not eating right, no matter what it is. Oh, it's a full moon today. I can't be eating a salad during a full moon. We'll start tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:51:50 That's the way I am with the job. I'll be like, oh, it's raining. I can't go work out today. It's raining. I might get a little bit wet. I can't do that. We eat nuts who works out when it rains. The kids are the greatest thing in the world, man.
Starting point is 00:52:00 It's like, well, I mean, come on. The kids crying. I can't possibly well, I mean, come on. The kid's crying. I can't possibly eat healthy tonight. The kid's crying. You know what? Also, do gyms even have daycare centers anymore? Like, I basically grew up in the daycare center of a gym. Really?
Starting point is 00:52:16 That's like... Your parents would go and just be like... Every single night. I would just be at a daycare in a gym for like two hours. That explains so much. I don't even know what you're talking about. Like, like I, I would never in a billion years just roll up to like a, a gym and, and be like here, gym employee, watch my child.
Starting point is 00:52:38 My dad did it every single night. I would go to, he'd take me to like hockey, and then we'd go to the gym. Wow. I would just be in a gym. I mean, that's a surefire way to get your kid kidnapped these days. Maybe it was a more innocent time where you just didn't have to worry about those things. You leave your kid alone with a stranger at a gym, like you are for sure ending up on the news. What do you think the qualifications are? To be a gym babysitter?
Starting point is 00:53:06 A gym babysitter, yeah. What kind of, what certificates do they have hanging on the wall? What did you do? Was there like toys and activities? There were toys, there were activities, there were like small gym things, like I'd do, like I'd exercise. Wow.
Starting point is 00:53:17 Yeah, this makes so much sense. You were neglected as a child. Raised by the New York Sports Club. Some fucking meathead With fingerless gloves And a gallon of water Was raising Feidelberg It was a gold gym
Starting point is 00:53:31 And then like Sometimes I go with my mom and my dad My mom went to the YMCA My dad went to like a gym gym Both had daycare centers So like I go like In the morning my mom would go swimming I go to the daycare center there
Starting point is 00:53:42 At night my mom would go to work You were generally just raised by the gym Yeah the ymca and gold's gym members just being like oh that's my surrogate son over there it's amazing eventually eventually it was just the feidelberg family was there i was the oldest so i started going the earliest but eventually there's gonna be four of us to be in the daycare center i didn didn't know this was even a thing. Yeah. There were other kids. It was always like a pretty fairly empty, but I had siblings.
Starting point is 00:54:12 I'm pretty sure that gym daycares are not a thing. I think, I think fights just got dumped off of the gym and some like four schlep employee was like, I guess I just have to like watch this kid on Mr. Feidelberg hits the bag over there. I don't – I've never heard of a gym daycare. There was a daycare.
Starting point is 00:54:29 It was a very – Are you sure? Yes. It was a room that had – I think there was a slide in it, like those Fisher-Price type slides. It wasn't like it was a fucking playground. Right, right. It was like a little plastic slide that – Just checking because I've never heard of that. I would...
Starting point is 00:54:46 In 2019, you do that, you'll be shamed like a motherfucker. You what? Bring your kid to the gym? You bring your kid to the gym and dump him off on some floor. I can't even imagine. That's just a surefire way to get in trouble or something.
Starting point is 00:55:02 I've certainly never seen one at all the gyms i've been to yeah that's why that's why i was wondering if this is a real thing at all that's that's why i asked i was like are jim bodega still think maybe they were never a thing but they're definitely probably like i mean i would leave him at home but like he locked consuela in the fucking in the basement so he can't do that well uh it we're out of that. And we're out of that. Well, it's a miracle you even turned out like remotely good, John. I mean, I don't know how good I turned out.
Starting point is 00:55:29 I was trained to a statue this weekend. Why were you just because of a stupid internet bet? Because of an internet bet, yeah. Just because of stupid internet credibility. Yeah. You know what the thing is though? I appreciate that. It's like if there's one thing we've got, John,
Starting point is 00:55:47 it's just like your internet word. You know what I mean it's like that that is we can hang our hat on here we're real as fuck i'm so that's not about to not not about to start not being real i didn't realize it was i mean it was exactly what i thought was going to happen champions plaza not a plaza. It's just the sidewalk. It's literally just the sidewalk. Statue's not a statue. Plaza's not a plaza. There was no one in town. No one cared. I would have garnered the same amount of attention if I'd just gone to a forest and chained myself
Starting point is 00:56:16 to a tree, but a tree that no one had any intention of cutting down. Just one deep in the forest, that was going to be fine for another thousand years. That would have gotten the same amount of attention. I think it was actually funny. When I first got there, there were four Asian tourists. And I was like, what are you guys doing here? Are you big White Sox fans? Like, no, he just taught us.
Starting point is 00:56:39 I'm like, do you think this is Wrigley? Why are you touring the fucking Southside Stadium? What are you doing here? They were just like checking out the statue of Joe Seed or whatever the fuck his name is. It's like, ah, this is the spot here, huh? That is the worst sightseeing tourism I've ever heard in my entire life. I still don't understand why Dave, and I think people take things more seriously than we do. People are like, oh, really fired a shot across Dave's bow.
Starting point is 00:57:06 I was like, I don't know. Just fucking around. I don't really. That was the thing that was in the barstool lexicon for the month. Chain yourself to the statue. Yeah. So you had your own bet to make? Did your own guarantee?
Starting point is 00:57:18 I'm going to keep making that bet. John's going to fly to the Champions Plaza on the south side of Chicago like bi-thly. Yeah. What do we got? There you go. We'll do the weight loss challenge. If you don't, you got to go do it again.
Starting point is 00:57:31 Just chain yourself to the statue. We're just going to show up there regularly. People are going to be like, I'm back. Hey, how are you? I mean, the cops drove by a bunch of times. There was one time because it's just like, it's really, and I guess I don't understand all of my stadiums, I mean, the cops drove by a bunch of times. There was one time because it's just like it's really. And I guess I don't understand all of my stadiums, I guess, aside from Foxborough. But the ones I go to.
Starting point is 00:57:52 They're all like downtown. They're all like downtown. It's like this is just in a neighborhood. It almost felt like how I envision Lambeau to be, where it's just like side streets. There's really no main street leading up to the stadium. It's just like, it's just side streets. There's really no main street leading up to the stadium. It's just like, side streets
Starting point is 00:58:08 and no one even exists around it. But there was... It's a sad sight. The only time a cop even, I think, like, looked at me was when they were coming
Starting point is 00:58:16 directly at me and it was like a T-stop. Like, they just, I was in the line of sight and it was like, they had to be like, what's he doing?
Starting point is 00:58:22 They kind of like peered over and like, is he chaining that statue? I think he is. All right, carry on. Hey, are you going to murder anybody? No?
Starting point is 00:58:31 Okay, we got bigger things to do. Well, the greatest trick the mouse ever pulled was convincing people that the Champions Plaza is a thing, that the statue matters, and that the White Sox
Starting point is 00:58:40 are in any way relevant at all. They're the Padres of the AL. No one gives a fuck. But at least the Padres of the AL. No one gives a fuck about them. But at least the Padres signed Machado. So can they even be considered the Padres? Not really. Let's get into these voicemails. Today's sponsor for the voicemails is a very special one.
Starting point is 00:59:00 Very special. Fleischman Salon is getting down with the pod because Fleischman, she's the girl who's been cutting my hair, John's hair, Brett's hair, the whole office, Keith Camargo's hair, everybody's hair. I've been going there for six years now. I'm on year three. I've never got my hair cut anywhere else in New York.
Starting point is 00:59:18 Yeah. She's been doing the whole office, but now they're getting down in the hair culture game. They got the new Fleischmann's vitamins, the gummies, which are a problem because they're just like, it's like Starbursts. They're so delicious. I could just open up the jar and start popping them. And she's like, only one a day. I'm like, one? One? It's a day.
Starting point is 00:59:42 One jar a day? I had, yeah, my hair's been looking pretty good. It's getting annoying how good it is. Like, stop with the fucking gummies. It's just, it's the gummies. I was with my girlfriend the other day, and she was running her hand through my hair, and she was like, oh, my conditioner works really well with you. It's not your fucking conditioner.
Starting point is 01:00:01 Shut the fuck up. Shut up. It's not your conditioner. It's my fucking gummies I'm eating. It's not your fucking conditioner. Shut the fuck up. It's not your conditioner. It's my fucking gummies I'm eating. It's the whole Fleischman effect. I mean, when you look, so the picture that I put out during the Super Bowl,
Starting point is 01:00:13 remember that disgusting one? That was like, during the Super Bowl, you don't remember the disgusting picture that I put out? No. Was it during the actual game? No, during Super Bowl week. I don't remember. It's crazy how little his brain functions. You don't remember the whole episode, the glow up and all that shit?
Starting point is 01:00:30 No. Oh, yeah. You remember the one from like 2009? Stunning. So I put out a picture of myself. Huh? With you and Fat Dave? No, no.
Starting point is 01:00:39 There was a picture of me from like 2000, I don't even know, nine, whatever. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, 9 whatever, and I was yeah, I got you I thought it was a picture of you can't say that picture's from Super Bowl week, I put out the picture, it's Super Bowl week, and that was that picture wasn't
Starting point is 01:00:58 even like the bad picture that picture I didn't I wasn't even comfortable putting out the truly bad picture. I know exactly the picture we're talking about now. She, Erica Fleischman, has, like, one of the bad pictures. She said she just shows people, like, the before and after as, like, it's, like, her crowning achievement. Because she got her hands on me when I had, like, no hair.
Starting point is 01:01:19 And she started to, like, I had to grow it out. She started to cut it. She started to put me on this whole regimen on how to, like, have better hair. And, I mean, it's a lot better. Put it that way. It's not Feidelberg with the Jackson Maine look over here. But it's been a hair glow up because I just do whatever this woman says. I just listen to her on all accounts when it comes to hair.
Starting point is 01:01:42 She put this gummy in front of me. She was like, take one of these. I was like, done. Absolutely. And it's got – so the gummies have like vitamins that help your hair grow. But I also think there's like a placebo effect going on. Like I eat these things. A lot of biotin.
Starting point is 01:01:54 Your nails grow really fast. I feel like I can feel the hair like coming out of my scalp every time I eat these things. I'm just like, yeah, chew it up. I'm going to swallow it extra hard. I'm going to get that gummy all up in my system because his hair is going to grow. And you feel different, too, when I forgot to take it for about three days. Oh. I need my gummies.
Starting point is 01:02:11 No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once you get on the gummies. Once you see what it does, you're like, I got to get it. I can never fuck this gravy train up. Oh, and it's, I mean, all you got to do is eat a tasty gummy. So right now they're selling them. You go to FleischmanSalon.com.
Starting point is 01:02:24 F-L-E-I-S-C-H-M-A-N-S-A-L-O-N.com. They got the hair vitamin on there. You can sign up. It's a monthly thing. They'll just send you a jar every single month. Right now you get 20% off your first six months when you use the promo code KFC. So that's FleischmanSalon.com. I could not co-sign this strongly enough.
Starting point is 01:02:45 Yeah. It's, I've been, I've been getting tweets for a couple of months. We, we got a little inside taste with the gummies and the, the, the tweets have started for a couple of months now with,
Starting point is 01:02:56 it's like, yo, your hair is on fire recently. And if you, you know, I know why, if you don't do a, if you're not like on a,
Starting point is 01:03:02 on a Rogaine or a Propecia, if you're not taking like the full prescription medicine, you don't want to do that. This is just a gummy, just a gummy vitamin. And I mean, honestly, when we do KFC Radio, we do these voicemails. We do Would You Rather's and whatnot. And there's always one about being bald on the other side, right? And everybody always exclusively is like, no, I'll take shortness. I'll take fatness. I like exclusively is like no I'll take I'll take shortness I'll take fatness I'll take jail time
Starting point is 01:03:28 I'll take physical harm like anything just not to be bald right but then the average guy we don't do anything about it we're just like we hope that we have hair well you have to actually take some steps if I was if I could go back if I was like 21 I'd start
Starting point is 01:03:44 eating these gummies if I was like 21, I'd start eating these gummies. Why not? If I was a baby, I'd start eating them. Give me my Flintstone gummies. Get your vitamins for your 7-year-olds. Yeah, get me the Flintstone vitamins, and give me my hair pills. Thank you. It's like, you can't complain about making sure your hair looks
Starting point is 01:03:59 good and is healthy and thick and long if you don't actually do the stuff that makes your hair thick and long. So get yourself some Fleischman vitamins. Get down. I'll explain that again. It's hard. F-L-E-I.
Starting point is 01:04:13 I always screw that up. It's I before E except with Fleischman. F-L-E-I-S-C-H-M-A-N. Salon.com. Promo code KFC. Get 20% off your first six months and just do whatever Erica Fleishman tells you to do. She's opening up, she's opened up, I think,
Starting point is 01:04:31 four or five different salons over the course of time here in New York City. She's got a whole slew of girls cutting hair in Manhattan. The hair wizard. She's the pit bull, bro. So get your gummies. FleischmannSalon.com. Promo code KFC for 20% off when you get your first six months of gummies.
Starting point is 01:04:54 Voicemails. What do we got, Logan? Hey, KFC, Fights, and Super Producer BC. First time, long time. I heard this somewhere a long time ago, and I can't remember where. But for years I've been telling people that I want Bob Saget to be hired for my funeral. I want him to sit in the front and cry hysterically. And instead of people being sad, they'll be more concerned about how the hell I knew Bob Saget
Starting point is 01:05:19 and why was he so sad about my loss. So my question for you guys is, who would you want to hire to be sad at your funeral to confuse the guests? Wow. And, oh, by the way, I really hope that I outlive Bob Saget, considering his lifestyle, and I'm only 38. Look forward to hearing from you guys. 38.
Starting point is 01:05:40 The 38-year-old female demo. That's the far-reaching effects of KFC Radio. This is a great question. Who would you hire to appear at your wedding at your funeral? Sorry. I think Daniel Tosh has a bit about this and Bob Saget, by the way. I think, I think his answer was, she might've been inspired by that bit because I think, did I think, uh, it was John Stamos.
Starting point is 01:06:02 Stamos is a heavy hitter answer, though. I mean, but they're both full house employees. Yeah, yeah. Stamos being at your funeral, just sitting there, like, running his fingers through your hair with, like, a guitar. Maybe he doesn't even play it, but it's just, like, a guitar, like, around his neck, just being like, yeah, I'm here. I'm here for KFC's funeral.
Starting point is 01:06:22 That'd be a power move. That'd be a flex. I mean, this is a hard way because it's, this is a weird thing for us because, I mean, I don't think there would be anybody who my friend would be like, my friend, people would be like, wait, why are they here? Do you think anybody's a possibility? I think they'd be like, oh, like, John must have known him through work. It's not, yeah, it's not.
Starting point is 01:06:43 There's really nobody that's like totally outside like if Obama was there probably but like if Luke Bryan showed up at the funeral tomorrow it would be like oh yeah I just interviewed him
Starting point is 01:06:53 yeah I don't know they really hit it off yeah um but I mean Luke Perry would have been a good one I guess I could have his
Starting point is 01:07:00 R.I.P. man oh that was rude that was rude I mean that was rude that That was rude. I mean. That was rude. That was fucked up, man. That was kind of funny, though.
Starting point is 01:07:08 Body's not even cold, bro. Body's not even cold. Dylan McKay is not even fucking cold, man. That was fucked up. It was good. I like that one. I guess I would do someone. I know.
Starting point is 01:07:23 I would just do Kim Kardashian. Kim Kardashian. I'd do Kim K. know. I would just do Kim Kardashian. Kim Kardashian. I'd do Kim K just like sobbing at my funeral. Like that's the other thing. Like you sign them up. They have to come, but they have to like lay it on thick. If she was just like with her selfie out, just like, I can't believe Kim Kardashian is gone.
Starting point is 01:07:39 With her big selfie light going and everything. I want like the whole Kardashian clan. I want all of them. Even the Barlow. I see. I would like all the Kardashian clan. I want all of them. Oh yeah, even the Barlow. I see, I would, like all the most famous people in the world.
Starting point is 01:07:48 Probably. I think, I would go the opposite where I would go with people, with someone who's like, you know how what they do, they use voices
Starting point is 01:07:58 on commercials where it's like they don't use super famous voices but like John Krasinski is like the voice of royal caribbean i know that voice creed might even be the voice of royal caribbean yeah i love i love trying to pick those out right i know i know that guy who is it who is i think
Starting point is 01:08:14 that's why look it up don't look it up i want to find it i want to figure it out that's why they do it because it makes you think about it a lot more yeah yeah yeah that was leo right uh that was obama again so like i think someone like that, where it was just, like, someone would be like, wait, is that? Or does that person just look like him? Yeah, like, there's always these guys. It's probably, like, Mark Roberge. Mark Roberge.
Starting point is 01:08:34 Is that the guy from O.A.R.? Is that the lead singer of O.A.R.? And he starts singing a song, performs a song at your funeral. I think that I would like it to be someone who's so distractingly, like, not mega famous that people just can't even forget that. There's always those guys. I'm looking at him like, is that fucking guy? Like, almost like you're saying, like, don't look it up.
Starting point is 01:08:56 You got to pick somebody from one of those movies. Like, those guys who are in those, like, TNT Sunday movies. They're in, like, a million. You look up their IMDb, they have like 250 credits. And it's like, I know that guy. What's his name? He's just that guy from that movie.
Starting point is 01:09:08 The guy that does the Warriors! What is that? Come out and play! The guy with the bottles? What? I mean, he's a very,
Starting point is 01:09:19 he's a recognizable guy. From what? Was that a movie? Yeah, called Warriors. He's clinking the bottles going, Warriors! Come out and play. Who is that guy?
Starting point is 01:09:33 I'm looking right at him. Yeah, I don't know. That fucking guy. Who is that guy? I mean, John, if you're paying that guy more than like $50, if you're hiring that guy to come to your, that guy might just be at your funeral. He might just come through.
Starting point is 01:09:46 Oh, you know who I would want? Because I think he would put in a – he'd turn in a hell of a performance. McConaughey. McConaughey? You really are not lower in the bar. I mean, this is the best example of your – just how much you've embraced the mediocrity. We are talking about a hypothetical who you want to be at your funeral,
Starting point is 01:10:07 and you are being so incredibly realistic, it's wildly depressing. I don't want to set the bar too high. I don't want to inconvenience them. I just think that's funnier. Like, oh, you know, the guy who fucking bags my groceries. Yeah, I want him there. I think it's funnier if it's just something like if it's
Starting point is 01:10:26 everyone's like wait it can't be him it'd be nice to get my co-workers here you know my mom i just want polly to show him my funeral no mcconaughey i want mcconaughey when my my my caskets like out at you know right there in the fucking aisle of the church couldn't you see mcconaughey like he's got he's gotta have a suit jacket on and I just want him like walking around, around my coffin. Just kind of, you can't see him like, he like flaps his jacket. You know, just doing some sort of performance where he's like talking to himself. Just like, yeah, this, this guy right here, he was a good man.
Starting point is 01:10:58 He was a, all right, all right. I got, I got a new one. This one might be set in the bar a little higher. OJ Simpson. Did he, did he kill him? Yeah, exactly. Is that why John's dead? O.J. only goes to funerals of people he murdered.
Starting point is 01:11:12 And this is... This is awkward now. Did O.J. murder my friend? I wanted to come in the same way he went in for the funeral Cuba Gooding Jr. did. And I'm sure he did in real life where the whole church just stops. Everybody turns. He goes right up to the casket
Starting point is 01:11:30 and he's like, is he fucking serious right now? Is he fucking serious? Is that OJ Simpson fucking kissing John on the forehead? Kneels down, says a prayer. He kisses his hand and then touches your lips Yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:11:47 Do we fucking talk to him do we ask him what he's doing I mean it's OJ Did you fucking What is your relationship The priest is like what a great turnout From John's friends and family And OJ Simpson OJ
Starting point is 01:12:01 He stops the funeral We gotta just, like, we gotta address the elephant in the room. Is that OJ? Everyone turn around. Is that OJ Simpson
Starting point is 01:12:10 back there? We're gonna open things up with a prayer, but first, am I wrong? I can't really see. Is that him, guys? That's OJ.
Starting point is 01:12:19 Mrs. Feinberg, that's OJ Simpson, right? That's him. Right? I don't know. I didn't really watch sports. John, John, Mr. Feinberg, that's O.J. Simpson, right? That's him. Right? I don't know. I didn't really watch sports. John, Mr. Feinberg, is that O.J.? Why is O.J. here?
Starting point is 01:12:31 What is the power of Christ compels you to tell me what O.J. Simpson is doing here? That's a good answer. That's a good answer. You want to make people awkward and confused at your funeral. Bring the most notorious murderer of all time there. Hey, guys. Quick hypothetical. Would you rather live in a porta potty for a week or give up alcohol for a year?
Starting point is 01:12:59 Thanks. I mean, a week is a long time to live in a porta potty. Some of those ones, I mean, I'm thinking. No, no, no. We're talking time to live in a porta potty. Some of those ones, I mean, I'm thinking. No, no, no. We're talking about a fucking. A porta potty. A old school Preakness porta potty. Like, yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:13 Where it's like, is there a baby floating in there? Is that a dead raccoon in there? It's impossible to live in. You can't. I mean, it's just toxic. You'll die. You have to sleep at some point. You can't sleep anywhere in a porta potty.
Starting point is 01:13:24 You just sit down. You just got to sleep sitting down.'ll die. You have to sleep at some point. You can't sleep anywhere in a port-a-potty. You just sit down. You just got to sleep sitting down. You die. I don't understand how you have alcohol for a year. It's kind of one of those things where, like, I don't know. You'll have to just figure it out. Be sober. I could be sober, but I couldn't not drink, if that makes sense.
Starting point is 01:13:39 There's a Chinese riddle for you. There's a paradox. I don't. Put me in a goddamn pretzel. It would have to be like alcohol is eliminated from the world. Right, right. Like we're all sober. Like I'm fine being sober.
Starting point is 01:13:50 But when I got nothing else to do, I prefer to not be here. Yeah. So if you're done with the day, if you got no reason to be here, well, it's the fucking point. It's the point. We're just getting more and more bleak by the minute I would probably try I actually probably would try to do the port-a-potty just a time
Starting point is 01:14:12 thing like one's only a week one's a year and I feel like I probably would die trying get drunk or die trying maybe that's it maybe you just have to drink your way through it like I'm gonna be in this port-a-potty but I'm gonna be fucked up you just have to drink your way through it like I'm gonna be in this port-a-potty but I'm gonna be fucked up
Starting point is 01:14:25 because I have to drink yeah okay sure that works like anything else in this world how are we gonna get through it
Starting point is 01:14:30 we'll drink we'll be drunk I won't even smell anything I won't even notice yeah I'll just be drunk the whole time we'll be drunk for a week now you know
Starting point is 01:14:37 we need like proper ventilation so that I don't literally die because I think like being inside a port-a-potty that long actually would kill you yeah I think it's
Starting point is 01:14:43 probably pretty toxic for real I mean it's just the bottom of a porta potty the bottom of a porta potty is is as disgusting as like earth can get seriously you ever seen that picture
Starting point is 01:14:56 of that guy who had been like even found in the porta potty yeah oh god he was living in a porta potty he was like creeping on girls and he was like down there bro it's like, could you imagine just for a couple upskirt shots, like you just want to see some girls sitting on a toilet. That's not even an upskirt shot. It's a poop shot.
Starting point is 01:15:12 Yes, they're pooping. It's disgusting. If you poop in a porta potty, an exceptional amount of people do. I know. I can tell you. I'm like, what is this? Why would you do that? How desperate could you be?
Starting point is 01:15:28 Have you ever seen the videos of the people grabbing their phones out of the port-a-potty? Oh, yeah. We've had that debate before. I hooked up in a port-a-potty before. At Preakness. Just to make a make-out, or were you fucked? We did. It wasn't a fuck-fuck, but it was like...
Starting point is 01:15:42 You put it in. Yeah, they were body parts going into body parts. Did you cum? No. Did you cum in a porta potty? No. Did she cum? No.
Starting point is 01:15:52 Doubt it. Stupid question's that. So wait. We were like, fuck it. It was like leg up, finger up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But did your dick go in? No.
Starting point is 01:16:00 Oh, okay. Got it. That's still pretty cool. Because I was going to say... I don't think it's cool at all. It's fucking badass. I think it's pretty cool. If you came out of the port-a-potty, it was like, yes.
Starting point is 01:16:11 It's like Preakness. It's perfect. It's like sundress. I'm not going to fucking do it now with a bunch of my 30-year-old friends, but I'm saying at Preakness, if I'm at Preakness, I'm waiting in line, a port-a-potty door opens, and a guy and a girl come out, I'm like, oh, fuck yeah, dude. Like, I would slap you five, but I know you just think you got, like, poop and pussy on your hands.
Starting point is 01:16:31 But I think we went in there to fuck, and I was just like, shit face. It was happening. It's like I've been at Preakness for eight hours. Good luck. Just chugging beers. That ain't going to happen. I thought for a second you did fuck and it was like but you didn't finish like imagine you're having sex in a port-a-potty
Starting point is 01:16:48 and you're just like okay alright that's it that's enough like we've done several pumps here I'm not gonna finish just let me flip that up in my race band we'll call it a day here leg up just blasting though John you never cease to amaze me but next voicemail is brought to you by Robin Hood
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Starting point is 01:17:53 Warren Buffett wasn't rich, right? That's how you make your money. Start small, start growing. Robinhood, you go to barstool.robinhood.com. And hang on, let me get the, let me pull it up here. I want to make sure I get it right. You go to barstool.robinhood.com and you will get a free stock. Apple forward sprint. You can check out the hundred most popular stocks. You can do, you can check out collections. They have all sorts of data for you to read through. And you can start today making that money. Go to barstool.robinhood.com. Next voicemail.
Starting point is 01:18:37 KFC, Fights, Super Producer BC. First time, long time. A quick question for you. recently broke up with my girlfriend of four years unfortunately she's going to stay in the apartment my question is how long do I have to stay at my parents house while I'm searching for a new place before it turns into too long unfortunately since she's going to take the place, my only option is to move back in with the parents for a little bit while I'm searching for a new one.
Starting point is 01:19:11 However, I feel like it might be something that I want to stay there for an extended period of time. How long is too long? By the way, I'm 30 years old. Hope that helps. That was the question. That's the question to ask.
Starting point is 01:19:23 30. I mean, listen, I love staying with my parents. We've said this many times before. I would live with my parents if I possibly could. I would stay with them basically forever. My dream, my goal is to one day get rich off this shit and buy like a house that we can all live in. My ideal living situation would be everybody loves Raymond. That's what I want in my life.
Starting point is 01:19:46 OK, so I am very much down with this. But the reality of the matter is when you're a 30 year old man and you're trying to live like a regular life and now especially you're breaking up with your girl, you're single. You know, there are certain obstacles that that come about when you live with your mom at the age of 30. But... I mean, I think you got, like, a couple months. Yeah, well, the thing is, like, so as long as you minimize, like, I mean, really, what's the problem? It's the embarrassment, really, right? That's it.
Starting point is 01:20:19 What's really stopping you? What's really going to, like, right? So, like, yeah, the stigma. So it depends on how long you want to live a life with that stigma. Like if you want to, if you want to say you're going to stay with your parents for a month, you're probably just like not going to do much hooking up that month where you're, you know, you make sure you're always on the away game, but you're just going to be like, you know what? I'm going to like focus on work and hanging out with my buddies and go to
Starting point is 01:20:42 the gym and then I'll move out. So if you want to live that type of lifestyle and just avoid doing the things where the stigma becomes a problem, you could, I don't do it forever. Yeah. It's basically, it's like going to jail, but everyone in jail is really nice.
Starting point is 01:20:55 Yeah. Like you just work out a little bit. You kind of save your money, no expenses, no bills. Get that interest going. Your mom loves you, you know?
Starting point is 01:21:04 Yeah. It's, it's the warden and the other prisoners. Super nice to you. Very much enjoy you. Pay your bills. Pay for all your food. Everything's free.
Starting point is 01:21:12 Do your laundry. Save a ton of money. Like you say, maybe do a little working out. Get a little mind-body-spirit connection. Read some books. Get a little smart. Living at home is just fun jail. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:23 Yeah. Perfect. So as long as you're down with fun jail, it's like. Like, yeah, you're probably going to get in some trouble if you're living at home is just fun jail yeah yeah perfect so as long as you're down with fun jail it's like yeah you're probably gonna get in some
Starting point is 01:21:28 trouble if you're doing sex and you're gonna make things awkward right so maybe just don't do that so yeah
Starting point is 01:21:33 if you're down to like yeah I'm not gonna like hook up much for six months and you can live with your parents for six months
Starting point is 01:21:37 you wanna you wanna just live like you just live like your parents you live like an old person you can stay there
Starting point is 01:21:42 forever I don't fucking care but once you start engaging in normal behavior, hey, I went on a date, and she wanted to come back to my place. Oh, well, I live with my parents. That's a problem. Or you go on a date.
Starting point is 01:21:51 But I don't think there's much stigma. I think the stigma is someone who lives at home. And they can't get there permanently. Yeah, they can't afford an apartment. We're like, look, I broke up with my girlfriend. We moved out. I didn't find a place immediately. I think girls will understand.
Starting point is 01:22:06 I still don't think it's like, I still think it's a little bit of a negative. I don't think so. I think it's one of those things, if you have a hard end date, not even a hard end date, but like there is light at the end of the tunnel. Not like, oh, I'm perfectly content living at home, even though you are. But if it's like six months, if you told a girl like, if it's the winter and you're like, oh, I'm perfectly content living home, even though you are. But if it's like six months, you told a girl like, if it's the winter and you're like, yeah, I'm getting out of there in the summer, it's going to be like, well, what do you plan on doing with me for the next six months?
Starting point is 01:22:33 You know what I mean? If there's any. Fucking you at your apartment. I'm moving in with you, bitch. Get a fucking toothbrush for me. Give me a fucking break. It's really up to you. But I think in general, if you're trying to avoid, if you're just basing this on other people's opinions and stigma, I would say you've got like two months.
Starting point is 01:22:52 Okay. I would say six. I think six. You think six? I haven't lived at home in fucking. I feel like if I found out you were living. 15 years. I found out someone was living with their parents.
Starting point is 01:23:03 And I was like, I checked in like five months later. you were like yeah and i was still there like but i'm getting out next month i'm like damn that's a pretty long time yeah but that's fine yeah again i don't care much about the stigma i just like i like living at home so much and i went back home i never went back home like after school or anything like that so like i i i still have that relationship where it's always just pop-ins, which is nice. But there are times where, and maybe because I've never had that long stay,
Starting point is 01:23:31 I think it can be longer. You know, I've never stayed there longer than a week. Right. So I'm like, oh, I can stay there forever. It's like, after a week,
Starting point is 01:23:39 it's still totally fine. But maybe after a month, it does get bad. I don't know. I think you get a month and then you have like a month of like, well, yeah, I got to set up the move and I'm moving it. Start date.
Starting point is 01:23:47 Two months is probably the better answer. Right. Last voicemail of the day is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. If you are at home with your parents because you don't have a job and you can't afford rent, you want to get that job. You want to start a new career. You go to ZipRecruiter.com. You want to find candidates to fill those job openings. You go to ZipRecruiter.com. You want to find candidates to fill those job openings?
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Starting point is 01:24:53 Answer the Internet from now on. Oh boy! Hey, what's up guys? Got a quick question. If you could see the text history of anyone in the world, who would it be? If I only catch it, you can only see the last five people they've messaged. I'm probably going with Bryce Harper. Just so I can get this where's he going shit out of the way.
Starting point is 01:25:16 Obviously, that was pre-Harper signing, but that's a good answer based on a very timely situation. If you want to get like you know uh you know trump's involved in a new scandal i mean what is trump's to be trump because he's involved in something controversial every single day so you're not gonna you're not gonna get like a dud like oh his last five or like his mom is his best friend right his fucking is every single one is going to be like putin and aoc and like all these yeah it's uh trump would be trump also like you get like the black man langol it's like you got some valuable shit there i just i just break news yeah just tweet it out yeah but look at this this guy just said this to i don't
Starting point is 01:25:58 know some oligarch but the the tweet that the the twitter screenshots you could just blast off would be oh i'd be like crack yeah imagine you send one and you're just like i have so many more like follow along for the next like 72 hours i'll be doing nothing but airing out the last five conversations you get it i don't think it ever came to an end i would forever donald trump's text will be interesting yeah that is very true trump is probably a lot of crimes in them like like what's the one right now like you're like forcing uh general kelly to push kushner's things through like but yeah no i got it i know it all i know who else trump is really tough to beat right now i think it's good if you're like one person with another person so just that one person's like entire history with another yeah. So just that one person's entire history with another person.
Starting point is 01:26:46 Yeah, yeah. It's like right now, I bet you Bob Craft has texted Tiger Woods and been like, hey, bud, sorry or whatever. And then you got Tiger and Bob Craft forever. You got to think of who's been chit-chatting recently. Tiger's a good one. I'm not trying to think recently. I'm trying to think long-term.
Starting point is 01:27:06 Because, again, this wasn't like a one-time thing. It was like, you always get. I'm trying to think of someone who. I'm trying to think of someone who also is, you know. I don't think anybody out here is exactly just blasting off texts like, hey, when's Area 51 going to be open? But trying to think of some people who know some shit. That's the guy I want to talk to.
Starting point is 01:27:25 I can see, like. I could see like... But those guys don't ever just, you know, they're not just going to be like average texting, you know? Basically anybody who's come in here. What'd they say after they left? Yeah, that'd be good too. Luke Bryan. Don't ever fucking put me in that position again. Yeah, J.K. Simmons. Texting me like, you little drunk
Starting point is 01:27:40 fucking moron. I don't even know the name of that fucking movie. It's one of those things where it's very, I mean, when Trump is just staring you in the face, it's very hard to think of who can top that. We'll have to give that some thought. That is a good answer to the internet question, though, for sure.
Starting point is 01:27:55 Speaking of answer to the internet, it's a motherfucking monster. We've been putting him on Instagram TV, IGTV. Both Dennis Robin and Ken Jeong overnight, 2 million views. Less than 24 hours, over 2 million views. So this shit is finally popping
Starting point is 01:28:12 the way that we thought it was going to be. So there'll be two more. One tonight, one Thursday night. Same time, same place, as always, 9 p.m. Did we decide? I know we... Dan Soder and Chris DiStefano were the two funniest that we've ever done, and I think ever will do. Did we decide? I know we, I mean, we had Dan Soder and Chris DiStefano were the two funniest that we've ever done. And I think like ever will do.
Starting point is 01:28:27 But we got some, we got some people in the can already. We might want to split them up, break them up. I think we use those when we do the interviews. What's that? When we do the interviews. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we've got, we got a lot to choose from. So we'll have to pick out a, pick out a winner for tonight.
Starting point is 01:28:41 But Tuesday, Tuesday night, Thursday night, 9 p.m. Answer the internet. Subscribe on the YouTube channel. Answer the internet. Check Tuesday night, Thursday night, 9 p.m., Answer the Internet. Subscribe on the YouTube channel, Answer the Internet. Check us out on the Barstool Sports IGTV. Follow us on KFC Radio. I'm going to catch you guys next time. Hey, this is Casey Smith. Thank you for enjoying the Barstool Podcast Network.
Starting point is 01:29:01 As a reward for making it to the end of the show, I just wanted to let you know about a special deal just for you. You can now use promo code STORE10 for 10% off the entire Barstool Sports store. So before you start that next episode, head over there now and get ready for St. Patrick's Day with all your favorite gear. That's STORE10 for 10% off everything on store.barstoolsports.com. Just don't tell anybody.

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