KFC Radio - Mark Smalls on Back Off Challenges with Donald Trump and Caitlyn Jenner Ft. Kirk Minihane

Episode Date: October 10, 2023

Timecodes: 0:00 First Day of Surviving Barstool 12:52 Kevin is the worst person to watch a movie with 21:43 Feits likes watching football even though Pats suck now 44:00 Video Voicemails 01:02:00 Mark Smalls Interview 01:09:16 Country Club Adjacent vs Foreplay 01:09:57 Roasting Trump and Caitlyn Jenner 01:17:05 Bellichick is employing spycraft 01:17:52 Mark HATES Argo and The Godfather 01:32:09 Ben Affleck Duncan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HrQoNSDBHc 01:35:40 Sopranos, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul 01:47:35 Tiger Woods Scandal 01:50:47 Marks top comedians 01:56:44 Ugliest you've ever been ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Stacker2 Energy: Buy Stacker2Chew Energy Gummies and B12 Energy Shots at Dollar General, where you can find all your favorite Stacker 2 products, or go to https://Stacker2.com. Pirate Water: Go to https://drinkpiratewater.com to find Pirate Water in a location near you or order on gopuff BodyArmor: Available in stores nationwide but you can head on over to the BODYARMOR Store on Amazon at https://barstool.link/BODYARMOR & get yours today! Simplisafe: Visit https://SIMPLISAFE.com/kfcradio for 20% off your new system when you sign up for Fast Protect Monitoring. Straight Talk: Straight Talk Wireless is available at Walmart and http://www.straighttalk.com/walmart-plus?utm_source=&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=AW&utm_content=WALMP&utm_term=PLN&-%epid!_%ecid!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What's the one when they're sweaty with, uh... Uh, Time to Kill. Yes. Time to Kill, exactly, yes. That's so great that you fucking called it from immediately me saying they're sweaty. They're so sweaty.

Dude, they are so sweaty. Such a good movie bro loud aggressive and straight out of the attitude era stacker two is the og in the energy and supplement space stacker two chew gummies pack a punch small package with big energy that's what they say about me or maybe they say the opposite uh stacker two chew gummies and energy shots are designed to give you maximum energy while still tasting amazing we are here on survivor week i'm gonna need to load up on the opposite uh stacker two two gummies and energy shots are designed to give you maximum energy while still tasting amazing we are here on survivor week i'm gonna need to load up on these gummies because i'm telling you your boy is not gonna last much longer uh stacker two two

energy gummies are bite-sized with a delicious energy packed with b12 vitamins that help you take whatever comes your way so bite back with the stack and go buy stacker two two energy gummies and b12 energy shots at dollar general where you can find all your favorite Stacker 2 products or go to stacker2.com. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. It's the first ever mid-survivor edition of KFC Radio. No spoilers here. So you can watch and listen casually. But we are recording this as we are in the building

for Surviving Barstool. I think this will probably... Surviving Barstool, I think, for the most part, as a series, will probably be the most watched thing. You know, there's one-off videos,

Donnie's Donnie's video that had like a hundred million views. Caleb goes viral here and there. But as far as like Barstool doing something, I think this might end up being our most viewed thing ever. And I rolled into this, uh, the ugliest I've ever been. The absolute ugliest I've ever been the absolute ugliest i've ever been i uh i i waited to the

last second first off to try to get a haircut and i was supposed to get a haircut on did you get it no i'm supposed to get a haircut on friday i had a doctor appointment friday morning and then a haircut at 11 30 it's like perfect and then you know i'm done for the weekend and i will just like chill for the weekend leading up into Surviving Barstool. The doctor,

the doctor office fucks me so hard. First of all, as I was driving to the doctor's office was that parking incident, which I'm still thinking about to this day.

I don't know if you saw my video. I'm parking in Manhattan and I find a glorious parking spot pretty close to this doctor office. And there's a guy standing there looking at his phone in the spot. And I thought he was like, I don't know, looking at GPS, just like absent-minded.

So I pop out of my car and I go like, hey, you know, I'm going to park. And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, cool. And then I start to back up and he's kind of putting his hands up and I'm thinking he's trying to direct me. And it's parallel parking, but it's a big spot. I'm like, I know how to parallel park. So I'm like, I got this.

And he's like, no, I'm parking here. And I was like, no, I'm parking here. You're standing there with a cell phone. I'm in a car Actively parking But I was like Gonna be late for this appointment You didn't run him over So here's the thing

You've either gotta kill that guy Or you walk away and your car gets demolished Yes That is what you would believe I think most people push comes to it wouldn't do that but yes i feel like that's at least like a slash tire a broke a brick through a window yeah yeah yeah but so i i i side windows though insurance anything but the windshield back windshield in the moment i had i had a moment of maturity i said like okay fine And I got

No more than like 20 feet And then 100 feet and then I turned And I was like what's wrong I made the video I said I'll never Stop thinking about this for the rest of my life I will think about the time that a man Stood in a parking spot

And told the person with the car Backing into, I'm parking here. Even if he said, I'm holding this spot, he's like, I'm parking here. I'm like, no, I'm actively parking. You are just standing, sir. You are not. I am parking.

You are standing. That doesn't happen in New York. Boston, it's a big thing with the chairs and the cones and all that. I've never, I've seen. It was snow too. Yes. This was just like I'm waiting – I guess I'm waiting for somebody to come around the block or something. I'm just going to stand here until they get there.

I've definitely been a part of things like that before. Have you? I don't think I would have. I've saved seats at church. Like I've thrown – I'll get to Easter Mass or Christmas Mass and I'll throw like seven jackets in either direction. And I'll like – I'm just like I'm taking shrapnel for the family. I'll throw like seven jackets in either direction. And I'll like, I'm, I'm just like,

I'm taking shrapnel for the family. I'm like, Nope, I'm sitting there. And they're like, they're at the end of the pew. I'm like, that's my seat.

And that's, that's probably cause I hate the Catholic church. So like, fuck this place. But, uh, so church is the one place I'll do that. If some,

if you said to me like, yo bro, stand here. I think I would stand there until somebody came. And I would, I'd be like, yeah, I'll hold your spot. And then when somebody came to me, i'd be like yeah i'll hold your spot and then when somebody came i'd be like i call them i'd be like sorry bro i feel like i kind of did it once with like maybe maybe a u-haul or something like that i don't i don't really remember so maybe it didn't actually happen because like you're never gonna get a spot yeah it's a truck right so maybe you would be like i gotta hold this we're moving

day all that that makes sense but the one of the nicest thing the i i'll my parking situation that i'll never forget about i don't this might be like my earliest memory uh i was going to a bruins game with my dad i have no idea how young i was i was very very very young torrential downpouring. And we're looking for a spot, looking for a spot. Someone beats us. Someone, like, not beats us, but they're in front of us. It's a one-way street. They're first. It's their parking spot.

Yeah. So we're waiting while they parallel park. It's, like, off Causeway. Like, I forget what street, but I don't know. Whatever street the greatest bar is on. Something like that. And as we're pulling away away the guy starts chasing us down hey wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait my dad stops the guy's like i didn't realize you

were a little kid in the car wrap around you can have the spot wow and my dad talks about that guy to this that's cool yeah that's cool i i respect that yeah that's awesome and like i i actually live my dead life every day Waiting to do something similar That's cool Where I can see a dad and his kid Be like here you can have it My bad Love that

That's like I was trying to be mature like that But that should have been a time Where I fucking said screw it That's the right time to be the mature guy There's a time and a place for that it Yeah yeah That's the right time To be the mature guy Yeah There's a time and a place for that I like

This guy's like a member of our family Yeah Yeah That's like It's Woza Cardoza In that moment I Like my dad

Even if my dad never brought it up again I'd remember that guy Because my dad was like What a What a guy What a man What a guy That's a

That's a great guy Yeah really That's a great guy It really is When you got kids like that too And you're like It blah, it all sucks. So then I don't get my spot. I get to the doctor's office.

Now I'm like, I'm on a schedule. The doctor's office goes, oh, we didn't put you in our system. And I was like, what? They're like, your doctor called and set this up, but we didn't put it in our system, so now you don't have like a reservation a time slot anymore and i was like well what the fuck does that what's the appointment for i just that's seinfeld yeah yeah why'd you take the reservation hold the appointment so i'm like pissed off but i'm like okay and i ask one question i go, would it be easier for me to come back later?

Because I could go to my haircut first. The doctor, who looks like, I don't know, a big fat guy with gray beard and glasses. I'm trying to think. There's somebody in top coat. He comes out. He's got suspenders on. I'm like, this guy's... I'm in the base.

It was one of those basement doctors. Yeah, yeah. It's like, this is a fake doctor. I know the type. Yeah, I was like, you're not even a real doctor. And he... I just go, would it be easier if I come back later? And he goes, you'll be seen.

I'm doing you a favor. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, okay. I was just asking one question. He goes, if you come back later, there will be 12 more people waiting here. People have waited six months for these appointments. And I was just like, you don't need to be fucking rude about it. So now we're going at it.

He's like, I wasn't rude about it. I was like, no, you weren't. I asked one fucking question. So we're like jawing at each other. The appointment, they try to like, you know, cycle me in. Anyway, long story short, the appointment takes fucking forever. Can't get my hair cut. All of this is just a fucking, it's like a ball of rage building up in me.

So my eyeball continues to fucking. It's better today. Yeah, I mean, it's getting, you can still touch touch the fucking swelling of the stye, but I started to get a stye in the middle of last week, and those things, you just got to ride them out. So I'm getting, so my hair is fucking terrible. I've got Quasimodo eye, and then the icing on the cake, over the weekend I'm playing with Keegan, and I'm playing Pop Darts.

Have you ever played Pop Darts? No. It's like the game where it's like these – you take these little rubber things. They almost look like barbells, like circle, bar, circle. They're flat, though. They have suction cups on each end. And you throw them, and you've got to get it to try to stick. You play like bocce with them.

Okay. They stick. That's fun. Yeah, it's very cool I actually brought them here we should play And just fucking around I went and I popped one on my head And the other end on Keegan's head

And we like played tug of war But it just went And I just gave myself a full fucking hickey In the middle of my forehead One suction cup pop And all of a sudden when it first I think it might be almost gone now, it's probably still a little bit there,

but when it first happened, it was like a full quarter silver dollar size, like, bruise. So I had the Quasimodo eye, everyone thought I had pink eye, the fucking this, and the hair was a mess, and it's like, we're probably gonna have, like, a quarter of a million concurrent viewers on every episode. So I dubbed it Ugly Week 2023, mess and it's like uh we're probably gonna have like a quarter of a million concurrent viewers on every episode so i i dubbed it ugly week 2023 rolling into survivor uh you know hopefully i

last long enough to not be ugly by the end of it but god fucking damn it cannot be worse and then and then basically on the cake i have my kids this weekend and you know usually i would like hang out with them all day sunday, they've got Columbus Day off. I would have kicked it with them the whole time. Is Columbus Day? Yeah, Indigenous People Day. Yep. And so I –

I don't know how to react to that. Yeah, I'm like, is that a good thing? When they say Indigenous people, we're like celebrating them? Or we're thinking about the time that we kicked them out? I would imagine. I would strongly imagine it is a celebration of the indigenous people. Right, definitely. But I'm saying Columbus.

Columbus wasn't so kind to them. Right. So you would think you wouldn't change that holiday. You would give them a different day. Yeah. It's like this is the day that we used to celebrate the guy who started the massacre and then we're just like no we're celebrating the them so anyway i i tell the kids i'm like i'm sorry i gotta bring you back

to your mom early and i explained to them i'm like i'm doing this game show and because they've come to the office a couple times yeah fucked around, like, daddy's gotta go live in the office for a slumber party overnight. I'm gonna stay there for a couple days, hopefully. Shea starts crying. And I'm, like, laughing, but trying to, she's like,

she cries about everything. She'll watch the same movie 25 times in a row, and when the sad part comes, she cries and buries her head in my chest. And so I'm and so i'm like baby like i'm i'll see i might be back in like a day like worst case scenario is like four days and she was like okay and she's like i i want that i want you to win but i kind of want you to lose you can can come home. So as I'm dropping them off, I'm ugly and my kids are crying. And I was like, fuck! I'm thinking about the guy who stole my parking spot.

I could not have rolled in more of a psychological mess to start out a psychological torture chamber. It was fucking unbelievable. So, yeah, I mean, that was, I guess, you know, I can't talk about too much. But it, there's been fun parts of it so far. Like, just, it is kind of like a big sleepover. Yeah. It's like an adult sleepover. Yeah, I thought it was fun.

The, it's it was fun. It's all been fun. I know what you're thinking about. What am I thinking about? What are you thinking about? Our movie night here? What is wrong with you? Bro. I know I was being judged.

I know I was being judged. Bro, you're a psychopath. Why? What is wrong with you're a psychopath. Why? What is wrong with you? What do you mean? I'm going to dub you the worst person in history to watch a movie with. Because I wanted the lights out? Dude, it was crazy.

Yes, and it's not my fucking fault. It's whoever decided to rig up the most complicated electrical system in the world. I've. If you can't tell. These are fucking spotlights. Dude, they're spotlights. Watching a movie in this light is insane. And I would rather not watch a movie at all. So I will stick. I will fucking.

You're the worst to watch a movie with because you were just going to sit here and watch with that. I'm an adult No that's crazy At one point Our very first night here Me, Kevin and Kirk watched a movie And Kevin Moved around

Or texted throughout the entire movie And then the first hour of the movie Was moving around and fidgeting And stuff like that and kept leaving and coming back And he's like looking for stuff and at one point Kirk listened to me and he's like this is Henry Hill And I was like I was like I don't know what the hell is wrong with him

And I was like I feel like we should tell him like We're not the kids we can just sit and watch a movie No bro no Kirk and I cause you left So many times Kirk was like i want to be there when we talk about this i'm gonna call kirk real quick and see if he's around it was one of the most outrageous watching performances i've ever seen in my life so in in the in the studio there's light switches that just do nothing so i'm'm hitting the light switches, and they just turn on and off different sets of lights.

So then I text these guys, and they're like, oh, you need an iPad to control the lights. So then I get up to look for the iPad. Eventually, we're like, we think we found the iPad, but it's dead. So we're like, we'll start the movie, and I'll charge it. No, no. You started the movie before ever turning any of the lights off, which was a crazy move too. Usually it's like, all right, everybody ready?

Let's hit play. It was like you just turned around the movie it started. Then you sat down and you're like, oh, the lights are on. So you turned off those lights. Then you came back down and you're like, oh, these lights are on. And you started looking. I was like, what is that? We didn't start watching that movie. It's an hour, what is that? We didn't start watching that movie.

It's an hour and a half movie. We didn't start watching that movie until 55 minutes into it. And then you just sat down and you're like, all right, time to text. And it was like, do you want to watch the movie? I was texting them to figure out how to use the. I want you to look at that op-ed. Have you seen it? No.

I texted Nick. I texted Pabst. They were telling me to text people in the control room See that I'd be like let's just watch the movie I can't no I'm not doing that It was more What? I didn't text you

I tried before and when you texted me I was like he's fucked He's fucked and Nick was saying I'm so sorry I'm so sorry So I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And so I'm – first of all, it's fuck Apple and their goddamn chargers. It's constantly changing. We have USB to USC, USC to USB, USC to USC. I needed some fucking combination that we didn't have here.

So I'm going through every fucking thing. And what would happen is i would i would i would go and i would like try to plug it in and be like fuck this is the wrong one and i would sit down and be like i'm just gonna watch the movie and these fucking spotlights i hate doing the show i can't even i hate this i hate this so so like like so then i guess in a perfect world i had the lights off but once the lights were even more difficult than flip a switch i go i will watch it with lights on no because well i was also thinking about like just the rest of the night which ended up not being that much longer but i was like i don't want to fucking sit under these lights in here i wanted to hang out in here

so then i go out and find the fucking the right charger right i come in and i plug it in i don't know usually you have a dead Apple device. You plug a charger in like a couple minutes, goes by and it pops on. It took like probably a solid 20 minutes. So I get up a couple of times to go. That's why I kept getting up. It was dead.

Oh, I knew what you were doing. Right, so I get up, it's dead. I sit down. I get up, it's dead. Sit down. I finally then, it turns on and I'm like, okay, I can now just like, I don't know. There's going to be light switches on the iPad. Nope.

It's some fucking system called like light edition. And I have to open that up. And then that is like launching nuclear codes. It's like you got to slide this bar down and slide that bar down. That's not doing anything. Nick's like, oh, well, you got to change to the other Wi-Fi. Why would that be the case? Why does it have to be a specific Wi-Fi for the thing to work?

It was connected to a Wi-Fi. And he's like, but it's got to be the other Wi-Fi. So all of those times I was like, I would be like, all right, fine, fuck it. And then I sit there and the spotlights are searing through my eyeballs. I was well aware You were on a mission The whole time I knew what was happening

I was just like We could just watch it though No No No I'm already sitting upright I don't even like doing that Sitting

Just sitting like this In the light Watching a movie is crazy Here's It's not the way I choose to do it In a perfect way And I was doing it for you

Fuck But if I I would have preferred if you were just like, let's just watch the movie. Yeah. I, I,

if had I known that, I, I think, I think there's something we need to work on with you. And I think it's just enjoying things. And I was trying to enjoy it. This is the,

you were trying too hard to enjoy. You just gotta let, you gotta let it wash over. I, I could probably put up with like other shit. I cannot sit in this light, like bright other shit. I cannot sit in this light. Like, bright, white, fluorescent light at the end of the night.

No fucking shot, dude. It was, it was. But also, it made me realize how much your experience changed. And we talked about it, like, when I went to, like, visit, like, prep schools. And I was like, ah, it's raining here. I'm not going to come here. And, like, that kind of shit. Like, how much it does. Because, like, I was watching a movie i know i love i've seen twice in theaters i love that movie and then like the last night i was like this movie kind of sucks

like it like your environment greatly totally affects how you how you enjoy things which i i knew beforehand but lastly where i was like last night I was like, I know this movie's amazing, and I laugh out loud the entire time, and last night, I'm just sitting there like, I agree. Dude,

it wasn't, the fucking environment matters. The lights, it was the maniac walking around the room. It was the lights for me. If you were, if the lights were out,

and you were walking back and forth, I wouldn't have cared. I could watch a movie that way way better than sitting in the lights. No, lights out, someone walking around too. You just gotta, and this is your texting too. You gotta just enjoy things. We're having a little, like, let's enjoy. Well, I'm also playing the game too.

Oh, you were texting. I'm not here, you know, I also walked the halls for like three fucking straight hours looking for the idol. And I probably you can make the argument. The thing I I hate the most in life is looking for things. And once you have kids and they just lose everything every second, it's like, here's your switch. You turn around. They're like, here's your switch. You turn around. They're like, where's my – it's incomprehensible how much my kids lose shit. And I'm just constantly like, it's in the car.

Oh, you left it at mom's house. Let's Uber this over here. So I hate looking for things. So I would be like, all right, I'm going to go find the idol. And after like every five minutes, I was like, I'm giving up. I don't care anymore. And I would go to sit down or go chill. And then I was like, I mean, we're here for, you know, maybe maximum of like four days.

Let me go fucking try, you know. And so I just kept on fucking looking, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking. I was walking. So that and that's, you know, same sort of thing with this is, like, people wanted to watch football. I was like, I'd rather play the fucking game. You know what I mean? I liked watching football too.

I liked watching football too because – and I know you're going to disagree with this, but I know it's because I have Super Bowls. It's kind of funny when your team just stinks. So annoying. But you know what? I'm fine letting him have this transition because next year, it's not going to be fun. Yeah, oh, I'm sure.

And the year after that, it's going to shock dick. They will absolutely reach tipping point. But you know what else bothers me the most? Because we've been so-so the last few years. I think they've been 7-9, 10-6, whatever the fuck the records are. But it's always I think they've been 7-9 10-6 whatever the fuck the records are and but it's always felt like they had like a

7 game winning streak yeah something in the middle where it's like oh they're bad this is like this is like no they stink

right there's always been there's always been hope but there's always been the nausea you know you're not great but there's always been a hope like

eh maybe we'll be a playoff team they're garbage I do love like it doesn't matter because Matt Patras is on the Bruins. Yeah, you got your Bruins to fall back on.

But I love Patriots Nation, and probably for good reason, where, like, if Bill Belichick drafts a guy, like, he's good. And it's like, no, Mac's good, Mac's good, Mac's good. It's like, no, he's not. And you're starting to really see, like, I think the Brady-Belichick question is really going to start to get answered. But what drives me the most nuts is you won't ever feel the pain. Because, A, you've had too much success.

And at your age, it's not – if you're – if the Belichick-Brady era ran from, like, age 0 to 22 and then your 20s, your team sucked, that would hurt. Because you're still a crazy fan. You're living with your buddies. You're just a football fanatic, football, beer, wings, all that shit. The Patriots are going to get bad at a time in life where you're like, I would have liked to watch the Patriots win today, but I'm, you know. Kirk. Hey, are you around?

Yeah, what's up? You want to come to the KC Radio studio? Oh, yeah, give me like two minutes. Okay. It's almost like, same thing with music, kind of, is like, rap, like, rap's my favorite music right now, and like, it's not not good but it's also at a time in my life i'm not at house parties i'm not dancing i'm happy that rap was awesome when i was partying and in basement parties and you know and now that it's not good it's like whatever that i think

that's going to be like sports basically for you it's like as you get older you'll be like well when i was young when i was drinking when i was partying when I was a little bit of an adult I had all that success if like my 40s and 50s aren't great like whatever yeah but also you'll never feel the real pain get to an age to like on the other side where it's like it's your escape so so so to speak yeah that's true but also like with our job like like you don't like yeah I don't know that'll never be things where it's like, it's just work. I mean, there are definitely times, you know, when, like, the Mets being out of it crushes me. But then I was like, it's a relief. Now I don't have to, like, so almost like with our job. It is just objectively funny.

We're like, this is, it's how I felt watching bad teams. But then we weren't the bad teams. Like, this is funny. These guys fucking stink. It's, I mean, they're bad. Yeah. Getting shut out is nuts. Belichick's two biggest losses of his career, back to back.

Yeah. Do you think he's going to do this much longer? I don't know. There's a chance. What if we get fucking Duke May or whatever his name is? The North Carolina kid. Maybe. But I'm just saying, like.

What's his name? Drake May. Yeah. I want you guys to feel that. But so I do hope, if I'm speaking, if there's any younger listener out there who, like I described, Brady and Belichick... What if we get Caleb Williams? What if Chicago wins a few games?

We have first overall pick. I don't even know. I mean, as we see, like, it doesn't really work. Like, you know, I mean, I guess he, it doesn't really work. I mean, I guess he looks really good, but you gotta have a generational guy. They say he's the most NFL ready. I think that we get that too much now, too.

It used to be like Peyton Manning. The ones I remember the clearest were Peyton, Luck, Caleb. They say Caleb's the most NFL-ready since Luck. Oh, NFL-ready. Yeah. Trevor Lawrence is up there, though.

But I don't know. Yeah, I think he was called, like, NFL-ready. I wasn't paying as much attention then because my team wasn't in it. But I don't know if they were like, he's the next one since Luck. But I feel like they're saying that about Caleb Williams. So Brady and Belichick had a 20-year run together? 20, yeah. I mean, yeah.

Yeah, I think it was exactly 20. So I hope that there was like a 3-year-old out there. And his whole life has been that. And now he's like 26, right? Like it's been a few years. Then he'd be the whole 27 rings guy. Yeah, yeah, yes. That's exactly it.

Yes, the Yankees, you know, the Patriots are entering their Yankees era. And I hope that if you're one of those people listening, I hope that the next decade is horrible for you. I don't know. I obviously am not as connected to the fan base living here. But the people I follow, because I don't listen to sports talk or anything like that, but the people I follow, like the Pats fans

I follow and Pats Twitter I'm connected to, it doesn't seem like that's going to happen. Like 27 rings stuff. I don't know. But like, I feel like there was a few years of being like,

it's Belichick, he'll figure it out. I think this is kind of a tipping point of sorts where people are like, yeah, I don't know, they're just not good. If he, I mean, it's not a sports podcast, but if, like, it's just bad from here on out, is it like Belichick, you know, obviously Brady was the guy then, and is it also Belichick's like, he's a good coach, but he's not like, I don't know. I don't think you'll ever,

I don't think anyone will ever say he's a bad coach. Yeah. I think, no, not a bad coach, but it's like, you know, if had you given it, it lends more like if it was Andy Reed, it probably would've been the same thing. Yeah. And I think it used to be like, not, it won't be the same. Like he still brings, he's still like a big reason why. And it's like, but if he gave him other, other coaches coaches i'm pretty confident now he would have yeah it is i mean the same thing like people it's the exact opposite where people as recently as by 2019 were like if he gave belichick rogers he went seven right KFC Radio is brought to you by Body Armor.

I've probably had 800 bottles of Body Armor. At least. I'm peeing all the time. John was in danger of just peeing his pants, like in the middle of Survivor. I was thinking to myself. I'm a big guy. I was actually thinking, like, are we going to need to spin this?

Is it going to be received as funny? Is it going to be received as gross? Like I was like, Dave's going to hate this. Yeah. But like, Will's going to love this. That's because we are just staying hydrated. Not only the body armor warmer water, but we're also drinking the sports drinks with flavors like strawberry banana, blue raspberry, orange mango is my personal favorite

because you know we're basically we're basically in the top 0.1% you know with guys like Christian McCaffrey Joe Burrow the fact that Christian McCaffrey and Ronald McCoo on the street I can't tell the difference

both those guys must drink Body Armor so go get yours right now body armor is available in stores nationwide but you can also head over to body the body armor store in amazon i recommend that i just get uh cases of i think 12 just consistently shipped to my house uh so go to body armor.com or body armor uh on amazon you're welcome kirk you're welcome for the fucking heroic performance i put on to get the lights out here oh it's unbelievable wow it's so weird watching you just sit first of all awake which is great and secondly sitting on the couch we watched bottoms last night somebody told me it's your 10th time watching a filiburg it's my third yeah i i can't even like the we the movie ended and we

walked out and filiburg, he's like, you have to come on tomorrow. I was like, this fucking guy is crazy. How many movies? You haven't watched a lot of movies together? The two of you? No, no. I mean, that is not.

You were manic, though. You were checking your phone. You were, like, running. You went outside, like, six times. You fell asleep. Well, falling asleep I do every night. That's going to happen every time. I will say, I like the movie.

I like the movie. When I saw it was an hour and 30 minutes, was like thank god thank god it was like two i wouldn't have been able to stay awake no chance i was lights out i'm always lights out these days i'm like i'm the old man and like obviously thanksgiving i can't tolerate this i can't i he just got finished saying the environment matters because i ruined the environment but this ruined my environment so it's the same fucking thing. It's not great. It's not great, but I could watch a movie like this.

Yes. If everything's equal, I'd rather have the lights off. In a perfect world, lights are off. But I think you're weird that you probably would not even notice those are on. You're so weird that I can put you in any scenario and you'll just be like, I don't know. But you were on your phone.

You have no memory of that movie you had no no I was all excited it was movie night I was excited about this I still enjoyed that night I don't need to enjoy that movie like I like just kind of like

I don't think we talked at all though yeah but I I don't know I like the idea of like I do this at home it's like every night i'm like i can't wait to go home watch tv and i fall asleep it's like but i still enjoyed like getting on the couch you're not old enough like i'm old enough you're not old you you even do like your head goes back when you go to sleep uh i'm sorry yeah it's like it's like you've not earned that low i mean i'm 38 going on like 60 yeah but you're gonna fit like i'm almost 50 like i but i what i just said i'm 38 going on like 60. Yeah, but you're going to fit like I'm almost 50. But I just said I'm 38 going on 68.

So it's like I am. Maybe I didn't earn that, but that is I literally feel like that. So that is like that's what's going on. Is that my body and my tomorrow? No, fuck. Okay. We can't even talk about anything. Yeah, I know.

It's very. It's just. Yeah, it's just that. Oh, yeah. It's been fun. I think, you know like like i could put on a movie and like music could be playing and you'd be like yeah whatever you know like you're just the most no no i'm the exact opposite i get very you know i would like oh yeah that's

what i was gonna say like like if if you me being on my phone bothers you that much yeah it does a little bit it feels you That's insane to me. Because I think I like movies, and I think I like the atmosphere. It feels like you're like... You can't say that and then be mad at me for trying to get the spotlight off! But that had nothing to do with it.

You just don't like the lights. You just want to go to sleep. You didn't care about the lights in the movie. You said you didn't care about the movie! Yes, but I don't want to sit at the end of the night when it's time to chill and have a movie night. I don't want to have fucking spotlights on. Yeah, it's like if you don't want to watch the movie, then let's not watch the movie.

And it's not just you. If it's done with anybody, it's like, well, if you don't want to watch it, let's not. I'll just fucking watch something else. If I were to watch the movie the whole time, I was saying it's a dinner night, the PFT, I think. The whole time, he laughed a few times. But the whole time, I was like so happy. He had the biggest smile on his face. He was like.

The whole time. Because I was trying to. was you were overselling i was trying to push my vibes into the room i my vibe was fine it was the you were squirming a little bit like not at the beginning of the movie you're like you were worried about showing me a comedy yeah yeah you were nervous about the whole thing what was i gonna do i just if you hated it you'd be a nice movie you fucking idiot you're not you're not the best person to uh it's like giving dave a gambling pick he's not gonna go oh well you hated it, you'd be like, nice movie, you fucking idiot. You're not the best person to... It's like giving Dave a gambling pick. He's not going to go, oh, well, you got it wrong. The movie was gone.

I just wasted a fucking hour and a half of my life, you fucking idiot. So I knew I was coming in in a hole because I had to have Kirk like it. And then Kevin, the vibe killer, was just assaulted in the room. It was a terrible thing. So I was like... You don't know what I went through, the hell I went through. I watched it. You walk over one point.

I was just fucking thinking about Charging. You just walk back over here. I was like, Kevin, just watch the fucking movie. It's an hour and a half. I can't, I can't, I can't. I will say, I was thinking about the rest of the fucking night. I was like, I'm not going to spend the rest of our night under the spotlight.

I know, and that, you know, I mean, listen. Did you go to bed right after? Pretty much. Yeah, I went to bed too. Jesusesus but yeah i mean i wish what can we say i was i was talking about like coming in like my build-up to the day okay yeah you came in on saturday night right friday no saturday saturday saturday saturday and it's monday right you just wanted to be here I get the lines on the second half. I got a teaser and a parlay. It was very funny.

We were having dinner. I don't know if you were there yet. We kind of mixed. It was like mixed company. And PFT said, who are you guys betting on tonight? And Nate started laughing. And PFT was like, what's that about, Nate? And he was like, I thought that was a joke.

And he was like, I asked you who you're betting on in the football game as a joke. And he's like, well, different parts of Arsenal. It's a different world. Will Compton was out on Saturday night, flew in in the morning. 6 a.m. he got in, right? Yeah, so people were talking like you know will might not make it on time we there was whispers about him getting replaced yeah and i knew you had come up like a night early to just sit there to be in you know that's what i was i was told they said

to get here on saturday so i was like all right i'll get here on saturday yeah i took the the amtrak which the older i get like i think it's just motion sickness with me is everything like i was getting sick on the fucking... You do a cello or you do a regional? Oh, okay. Regional I can't take. Regional I'll get motion sickness. Same.

Is that from this? Oh, I'm sorry. I took the regional. I didn't take the cello. Regional I can't take. It's like swaying. Yeah, the regional sucks. Yeah, I can't do the regional.

I have to do the cello. Yeah, and I was like, I'm going to throw up on this thing. Yeah, yeah. I can't get up. I can't walk. I'm not doing it. Because that's like a veteran North train almost, right? No, it's not. You'll on this train. I can't get up. I can't walk. That's like a Metro North train almost, right?

No. I think it's a little bumpier. Yeah, it's pretty bumpy. The cars themselves are rather nice. They're very comfortable, too, inside it. No, but I'm saying, when I try to walk from car to car on Metro North, there'll be like a boom, boom, boom. Did you see the movie 1917? Yeah. Yeah, it i love you probably haven't you probably watched it but

that was a great movie yeah you know the end when he sprints through everything the final yeah yes that was me trying to get the coke at the acela like you know there's like that one little thing if people are like falling down i was like pushing them out of the way like i jumped over one thing i was like i just want a bag of pretzels because but i was like i'm gonna fucking throw up on this yeah the regional even everything about it it's so weird because it is it's the same route it sounds great it's a half hour longer it's like it's not that different of a trip and like it's it's but it does you save a ton of money on it and you're like oh this is my i might as well just take this who cares it's an actual whatever yeah and then you

get on it you're like everything about it the fucking where the food cart's different it all fucking sucks it's it's impossible to take that train and i checked in the courtyard it'd be the one of you ever stayed there probably not so it's like a block away it's fine like it's clean but it's i forget these new york city apartments so i did it i tested it i put my left foot on the bed and my right hand could easily touch the toilet seat no the toilet yeah the toilet holy shit it was clean i mean i've always thought that's how marriott gets like a hundred rooms into a fucking this one it's wild because i'm like where it is like 300 rooms right and it's by like you know it probably should be like 50 normal yeah yeah if it was in like indiana it would be yes exactly exactly um we're gonna do some quick voicemails you want to

stay for that you want yeah if you want me to yeah let's do that well real quick and then moving the voicemails uh you what what is that all about? What's all about? What's your broker doing being a stylist? Oh, I saw that post. I was like, someone's getting a discount on their fucking – on their broker's fee. I'm really pretty sure I didn't do anything this time. She put up a post that was like – I don't even know what the picture was, but the caption was like, go check out at blah, blah, blah. Like my broker has a great new, uh, like stylish, uh, like whatever company. It was like, yeah, someone's getting like 10% instead of 15%.

No, I didn't. It wasn't even that like he, and I don't even know like why he just called himself. You didn't get it. That wasn't for, for a deal. He just corners me sometimes. Jack, wait, what? Wait, why are you still... You moved into your apartment like a while ago, didn't you?

I know, but then he lives across, and so he's always in the apartment, and then he was like... Jacqueline. He was like... He was like, I... Sorry, I cannot switch cameras. He basically was like,

you have a lot of followers, which is like, I have like, whatever. I don't. But he was like, you need a lot of followers which is like I have like whatever I don't but he was like you need to give me another shout out and I'll keep giving you like I'll give I'll give you top priority

for the next apartment that I find I'm like I'm not looking to move this is some promise I thought you were just doing it like to be nice

that would be fucking nuts don't do that Jackie then I was like I'm not looking for an apartment right now and he was like so you're not gonna give me a shout out and I was like well these'm not looking for an apartment right now. And he was like, so you're not going to give me a shout out?

And I was like, well. These guys are so scummy. New York City brokers and landlords and shit are literally the biggest scumbags in the world. I make fun of you now in the same way. You would do the same shit. I do the same exact thing. Especially nowadays where they literally just hand the fucking key. You know what I mean?

Right. But there was a time where they had the listing and you didn't know where the apartments were. And now it's like, I found it on the internet. You found it on the internet. You just have the key. Fuck you. And I had to give you double the rent. First, last 15% of the year.

All that shit. Fuck you. I'm also like, I've gotten to like, I realize how little social media matters. We're like. Oh, totally. It used to be like, can you repost this? I'm like, sure. It's not going to do anything.

Yeah, that's true. That's why I think I've mentioned some, I show recently, actually I was, when I did the show with you guys in the old office, you remember that I came by and I was still the, I yeah,

yeah, yeah. With you guys. Yeah. And we were walking on after, I mentioned something and you're like something, but one of my episodes is I was doing it. And you're like,

if you put your episode up on Twitter, like three people are like, nobody. Yeah. Which is true. No one. At the time I was like, what? It's Twitter, but nobody fucking, nobody looks. When you first get into Twitter,

you think it means everything. And then once you realize it means nothing. Kind of freeing though. True. Yes. Genuinely, I don't think the whole Me Too movement, or not Me Too, but canceling, would have, like, even if the world just all of a sudden agreed that Twitter, like, if they all understood what we understand now. Right. Because all that was was, like, an avalanche of tweets.

It was like, Me Too, Me Too, Me Too. And it would just be like, doesn't matter, doesn't matter, doesn't matter. And not to, like, you know, put down actual cases, but the rest of them are like it was just people trending on a social media site if you just the the the thing for me was uh i made a joke about mickey calloway a mets manager who was doing something creepy and i and i said something like that's why the mets got rid of him made light of like he had a sexual accusation whatever and and baseball Twitter went like nuts over it and uh maybe that's it yeah I don't know what it was no I said something like we know now why the angels got rid of him something about that yeah anyway uh baseball Twitter was going hard at me and I called John and I said uh

yeah maybe that's it but I don't know whatever i said to john i was like fuck what do you think i should do on this one and he was like on what and i was like you haven't like you didn't see that and he was like no and then i had to explain it and he was like uh no but nothing like nobody's talking about that except for like you know it feels like when if you get 50 straight tweets you're like oh my god it's worst case scenario it's 50 people even like with Dan last week with Taylor Swift, I was like, just get through the fire. This is not like a... I'm at the point

where I don't consider it fire, though. I used to think that. Well, yeah, I think our company's different now. But yeah, but I think there are... I guess when you have like a Hollywood actress, like when it gets outside the bubble, but it's like... But like when it's a real... That's also the advantage of working here, where it's not real. Right. You say where it gets nice. Yeah, I mean, I guess if you're in the regular world you said on the radio you had trouble yeah

i hear it's like doesn't matter i said it's on radio like keegs was explaining it to me and she's like tiktok is not happy and i was like that doesn't that means nothing let me like nick actually uh texted me and he was like yo tikt TikTok hates you right now. We are killing it. Because all over Taylor Swift, it was like a bunch of my shit that I saw on Taylor Swift, was getting like, I mean, like 15x the views, which also means nothing. Yeah. But I'm like, whatever, we're doing good. But he was like, yo, they fucking hate your guts.

Keep going. I'm like, yeah, let's go. All right. Let's do a couple of voicemails and then we're going to do another movie night. was like yo they're like they fucking hate your guts i keep going like yeah let's go all right let's do a couple voicemails and then we're gonna do another movie night football season is in full swing and there is nothing better than kicking back watching a long day of football and cracking some pirate waters everybody got their first taste of pirate water this year when we launched our drink for the partiers for the ragers and it was a summer drink we started in the spring we drank all through the summer this is our first time having the fall the ragers, and it was a summer drink. We started in the spring. We drank all through the summer. This is our first time having the fall and winter with it,

and it plays just as good as when the sun is shining and it's 80 degrees as when it's cloudy and raining and 30 degrees. We're going to be drinking it all winter, all fall, whether you're watching football games, hockey games, basketball games, whether you're at brunch. Matt Potrus. You're going to be drinking your 16 ounce ready to drink can with 10 alcohol by volume so you know you uh you need nothing more for a

good time the famous answer the internet question what's the best way to get drunk on five dollars or less the new answer legitimately we have a new contender is pirate water so uh go get your margarita sex on the beach bahama mama or miami vice pirate waters by going to drink pirate water.com or you can order them off of gopuff also make sure you follow and tag pirate water not only will you uh if you tag us with your pictures will you be reposted but we're also going to be doing giveaways soon where you can win merch uh prizes maybe some trips maybe some uh some actual stuff so follow at pirate water and go to drink pirate water.com hey guys not my first time a little bit

of a long time uh after the convo about fights his grandpa wallet i was curious to know what you boys would carry in your purse if you had a purse what five things would you carry that's not phone wallets phone wallet keys and bonus points especially for fights if he can tell us like what kind of purse what kind of bag well john does have a purse just tell them what your purse is and what you carry um i know i i don't i have like a canvas bag that i carry around sometimes that would best be described as a purse but i mean it's it's like it is uh but you carry like you literal garbage nothing remember that time you emptied it out nothing like it basically i actually don't really use it that often anymore i used to use it more often when i had a laptop

and i gotta have a laptop in it um now if i'm taking a laptop to work i'll bring it rarely does that does that happen i don't i don't i i jam everything in my pockets i have a notebook two tins wallet phone keys if i if i had the if i could bring anything else more food sunglasses yeah uh maybe some hand cream which I don't even use. I don't use hand cream right now. But like if I had a bag, why not? Right. I guess. I mean, like a couple of years ago, maybe like 10 years ago at this point, we had an empty out his bag.

Like what's in there? And it was I'm talking like if you turned over a garbage pail, it was just like garbage, like Reese's cups, like crumbled and like receipts. They were unreal. Just unreal. Unreal. Excuse me. Just like garbage and banana peels. It was like shit that could go bad. Yeah.

No, it's – because I – He's just picking – literally moving garbage back and forth. I always find it interesting that stuff like that where in one point in history, women just started having those and guys are like, that's not for me. Why? Well, I feel like it was almost. But my answer is the shit that I want. I'm like, here, carry this for a girl. It's like sunblock, chapstick, and a nail clipper. The three things that I always have.

I always have chapstick. I always have my breathers, my readers. I was like, I would be fine. I mean have my readers. I would be fine. My readers. I have like 20 of them. But I'm like, I wouldn't have a... You know what the most practical thing is?

The fanny pack. The fanny packs weren't like kill yourself fashion wise? But we've been circling each other lately. Yeah. You know, I once once I now go out into the wild with my kids. Like how I look could not be further from what I'm like, literally trying to survive by carrying everything. And that's pretty practical. If I just had a thing, I'm pretty practical.

Like, but what's really annoying is like if he started wearing a fanny pack, it would be like, oh, it's cool. Yeah, we start wearing it. It's pretty practical. And if I just had a thing on my hip, like, but what's really annoying is like, if he started wearing a fanny pack, it would be like, oh, it's cool. Yeah, it's hip. If we start wearing it, it's like,

your life's over. It's true. You know what I really don't like? The fanny pack's one thing. The, the like, side chest thing that like,

rappers, those guys wear, I'm like, that is, there can't be anything in your life. It is, it is the,

you know, I, I keep up to date on fashion trends and things like that that one that that's not even a trend that's way past past trend but like yeah probably six seven years ago that was like oh like some kind of cool guys are doing this and like you got to know your lane like that was one i was like did you did you even try it never tried it there was a super unfiltered move today i won't say when in our relationship history but like i'm walking somewhere and

feber's like oh yeah nice shorts like you dork like you were like shitting on me no i i think you were i think you were mocking me i'm not mocking you i'm not mocking you they're they're they're just shorts that they don't fit you in what way these are all like i used to play basketball with these shorts these shorts are like these shorts like 18 years old yeah that's it that's honestly we were saying that it was like like like like uh lebron james on draft I used to play basketball with these shorts. These shorts are like 18 years old. Yeah. Honestly? We were saying that it was like LeBron James on draft night of 2023. Yeah.

I said I think those are LeBron's St. Mary's basketball shorts. It was very uncharacteristic of you to take a shot at me. I was surprised. It was frankly the vulnerable moment. It's not the worst thing you've ever been through. You know what's funny? I had a thought when he made that joke i saw you walking you don't look old from behind you look young from behind i'm in decent shape yeah i don't think you look old from the front the ball every time it was every conversation i've ever had with

you like you look like you're 60 years old but i look like my age yeah i think i don't know but everybody like when you look in the mirror do you do you I'm – I don't think of like an age. But I'm sure if somebody walked by, they'd be like, oh, this guy is 48. Well, I told this story on the podcast recently where I was in Minnesota and I was playing hockey. And I was playing hockey with this kid who's 21 years old on the Minnesota Wild. He's a stud. Matt Boldy is his name. And we went out.

We had this event. And then afterwards, he was like, thanks for coming. he's talking to me and chief we're in chicago thanks so much for coming guys like what are you doing now nothing he's like why don't you come out with a couple beers with me and the boys and we're like yeah yeah fuck it why not and he goes it's at this bar it's it's probably gonna be mostly guys my age but like you guys could have fun too and i was like at that moment like i i thought i never thought about it but if you put a gun to my head i was like i probably passed like mid late 20s and i realized more than that is like your vibe is like i can fit in at the bar

with the guy yeah yeah the thought that someone would tell you like it's gonna be bad for you yeah different for you it's like oh and then we got there and we didn't go we didn't even walk in oh this looks like a young boy the short time that just happens you never go back no let's get a glass of wine go home like this is all right i literally did when you go when you see a young bar like underage or horrifying it's like but i never thought when i was like 23 i was i thought we were like being like cool or just normal. Right. And you realize you're like walking dead.

We were at the – Everyone's like – Place is great. But when you guys were there, we were, I think, a couple of those nights. We were at the Barstool Phoenix Super Bowl bar. The Arizona bar, yeah. I was like – Well, those are kind of like clubby.

I feel like I'm 700. Like, wheel me around. I can't do like, I can't do bright lights. I can't do no. But like any of that, like club scene, it's like, I need to be able to hear you. I need you to be able to hear my jokes and be able to get your drinks easily. And that's about it. So the other thing, if I could carry around a bag i actually might

do the fanny pack because since i've become a nicotine pouch user i don't know i i think i think litterers are the scum of the earth i think i think they are like i've said this before i genuinely believe it's like rapist murderers litterers like you're you're in you should be long in the same same circle of hell. You're a piece of shit who doesn't care about anything outside of your world. Like, I hate them. I despise them. But with these, when I used to chew tobacco, I had a spitter.

So I could just spit my tobacco wad into there when I was done. Right. I don't have anywhere to put this. You're telling me you're going to fill it in your bag? With your chewed pouches? I fill my pockets with it now. You do? Yeah.

You'll put it in the trash? You guys are despicable. That's despicable. It's just like... Why'd you put it in the trash? I'm just like... Like right now. Obviously right now

I'd put it in the trash. But like yes, there are times when there's not trash around and I'm just like put it in here. That's disgusting. Do you ever chew or anything like that?

No. No. That never appealed to me. Do you think spinning gum it in here. That's disgusting. Do you ever chew or anything like that? No. That never appealed to me. Do you think spitting gum is littering? That's disgusting. I think you're a scumbag. Really? That's a little different though. I don't know why. When I learned that all those black spots on the street of New York are actually gum,

I thought that was like an urban legend. That's crazy. Why just don't chew until you see a trash bag? Any trash, just hold it until you see a trash bag. Particularly in New agree. Just hold – any trash, just hold it until you see a trash bag. I think – Particularly in New York, you're going to see one pretty soon. What about just spitting?

No, no, no. I – No, I don't think it's literary, but I think it's disgusting. It's – I would be – this is when I dipped again. Like, I would be selective with my spits. Yeah. Like, I do it like turning a corner and, like, get on the side of the building or something like that. Yeah, when you just see a guy walking towards you,

it's like, bro. Yeah. Basically just puked in front. Let's go. Hey guys. I'm listening to the episode where fights is learning what debt is. And that is money to the IRS.

I heard this. Oh my God. And I recently just passed my series seven test, which is just, it's a stockbroker's exam. It's for finance. And ever since then, I have had like a slight superiority complex because I'm like, I know so much about money. I know about the market and I feel like I'm smarter than everybody else I know, which is not true.

Like in the slightest, not even a little bit bit but i need all the help i can get with my confidence so i'm going to take that and run with it so that like that's just my question what's something that you guys know about that makes you feel like you're smarter than other people can i can i give a quick answer though about something else like i never i'm not great with like finances either like i don't understand i kind of do but i kind of don't why everything just like doesn't cost the same as did 80 years ago like why does it cost more the i i i i don't know where's that go i thought i thought you're about to like no i i think the argument is that like it it probably shouldn't that's what i mean i I think when we went through this last bout of inflation, I don't remember what terms they used.

Why did it happen the first time? Well, I think... Why price going up? Why did it go from... Why was milk six cents and then it became a dollar and then it became five dollars? I'm going to go ahead.

I'm going to say it's fucking capitalism and greed. People want to see what they can make. I know the answer. I don't get that. I genuinely do not get it. It started when we switched off the uh gold standard okay so it used to be like but but still not totally because you're right like in the 20s

that's what i'm saying it was 10 cents right so it started to move i've done this google search before it doesn't help me i do think i do think it mattered like with the gold supply and then as soon as we we untethered it it was just like more money and then and then i've taken economics classes and i'm just like the idea the latest i mean i understand things like if there if you have a specific if if all the cows start to die sure sure then you know that makes sense things but but the rest of it i think is just also corporate greed i think they just go let's make let's charge six bucks let's start but like i i that and i've said this before i don't like saying it because like i don't want to go like oh but like yeah i hate when you do that that's actually worse but like

i just i just genuinely i don't get why if you're doing well why do you have to make it harder for other people like oh it doesn't i don't get that that's that's that's a moral thing you're saying yes i guess if they're assholes like there's bad people in the world but like like bernie mayoff is a bad we were talking to darius rucker about music yeah and he's like there's so many billions to go around and all we're talking about is making everybody a millionaire but there's a guy who's like i want 10 billion one you know like well like like they're there we were talking about this when we were talking about the movie sanctuary whereas like i just genuinely don't understand how that person can be like that like i can understand bad things i can understand why someone would murder someone i can i can get it i can like yeah that makes sense yeah like if someone's like i'm taking an unfair amount of

money from this person. Why? You're fine. What do you think? It's usually that happened to them. Somebody at one point started to be an asshole originally and then it's like this happened to me. I'm getting mine back and you'll have good luck with getting yours.

It came up with the writer's strike stuff where it was just like why do you need $42 million a year? Yeah. It's crazy. I don't. They're little people, man. Little people. It's naive and it's ignorance and shit like that, I'm sure.

But it's just like I can understand bad people. But like something like that where you're like, it's just not fair. Why wouldn't you just be fair to a person? Yeah. That's some guy who's like, I need to have $42 million because the the guy who has 41 million called me a jerk off and like, fuck that guy. You know, they just have their dumb motivation. I was one of that, too. Even like Goodell. I'm like, you couldn't find somebody else to just do the job for like 14 million.

Right. Right. Yeah, I got that. But I also understand why that is. But it is crazy. I do take a little bit of solace in knowing. I think those people are miserable. I don't think the money like makes them yeah like they probably get off on the power but like are you actually happy and yeah paranoia looking over your shoulder i do that with like

with uh i've been re-watching sopranos and just like and i've said this before too i'm saying it to kirk like i don't get i i thought that like Mobsters and drug dealers Lived lavishly And I remember like Was it not Ricky Aprile Richie Aprile Yeah like his house It was like a two decker

Well he's got a prison Okay but most of the houses they go to Outside of Tony's Aren't like nice houses This is worth killing someone over Tony had like no money half the time And then with the paranoia they live with aren't like nice houses. This is worth killing someone over. Tony had no money half the time. Yeah.

And then with the paranoia they live with. Right. The paranoia. I don't understand life and crime at all. No. I like, I guess to answer the question, I like doing like the, being like the, well, that was directed by this guy. Just so you know.

The director's a good one. It was written by. Oh, yeah. Gordon Willis was a cinematographer on that film. what a dickhead that's a very good one i think the only thing i could even potentially talk like that is like internet stuff like this stuff i don't know yeah that's the only thing i could say i might know more than the average person otherwise i'm pretty fucking average i can't i can. I can't do as many directions as you, I'm sure. I don't do it.

But that's a good one. Connections. Doing mind games in the morning makes you feel a little superior. It just makes me feel good, which I guess I take as feeling superior. Famously, Oreo 55, you're terrible. I'm pretty good at it.

What I've come to learn is actually I'm about on par with everybody. You were getting compared to the freaks of the world, Nick and KB. But even then, they made me do one on camera fairly recently. Oh, you must have been sweating. I was so sweating. And then I was like, 38 seconds. And Nick was like, I fucking knew he was going to beat me today.

And then I started checking more often. I'm like, oh, I'm three seconds slower. Oreo55 was like, I fucking knew it. He's going to beat me today. Then I started checking more often. I'm like, oh, I'm 3 seconds slower. Do you know that one? Just doing mind games, definitely. I can only do up to Wednesday

on the full crossword. It gets harder. How much do you keep up with everything? I'm always checking, do you know this? I feel like you're disconnected, but usually you're like, it gets harder throughout the week. How much do you keep up with everything? What do you mean? I'm always checking, like, do you know this? Because I feel like you're disconnected. But usually you're like, yeah, no, I know that story. Yeah, I try. Well, I see clips.

I pay attention to you guys. Yeah, I mean, there's not a lot of shows. I know. I mean, you religiously watch the Mean Girls. Yeah, I mean, unfortunately, this is keeping me. We're trying to break out to see the shows. I want to see Jordan's relationship status. To me, it's probably complicated.

And I want to hear about that. I mean, who doesn't want to hear that? If I had to guess, it's, you i want to hear about that i mean who doesn't want to hear if i had to guess it's you know a single b together or or c complicated uh we were saying that's a hard beat for now i don't care i've done back-to-back nights and i do four nights you guys are back-to-back something back we've done back-to-back we've done back-to-back yeah we've never we've different nights three nights in a row yeah city though that's what i mean i think oh same spot no i did two with the wilbur on the same night the second show we did that once Back to back to back. Different nights? Three nights in a row, three different cities, though. That's what I mean. Same spot. Oh, same spot.

No. I did two at the Wilbur on the same night. The second show. We did that once. That was once, never again. Yeah. We sold out the first show at the Wilbur so quick. And you can make some money at the Wilbur, so we're like, let's go.

And then we did it that night. And I was like, this next show could be worth $250,000. I would send out. You know what's not that exciting? Is when you get rolled on the cross the second time. Everyone's like, oh, yeah. You have a lot of repeats here, right? Probably.

A lot of those guys stayed and they're just like, oh, he's on the cross again. I was like, alright, let's fucking do it. It was sad. Alright, big thanks to Kirk for coming through. Now let's get into it with an interview with our boy Mark Smalls. He is a comedian. He's a part of the golf podcast he's so funny country club adjacent he's bro he is so funny he's been on tour with burt

you can tell he's a naturally funny dude but his his delivery his voice his whole style i'm like you need to be a fucking mega mark smalls on ksu radio let's talk to him it's official fall is here and if you're like me you're settling back into your busier routine. Kids are at school. And with spare time filled up with soccer practices, it's actually baseball practices, dance, and gymnastics have ruined my life. Every time I think, like, oh, I'm done with the day of work. I'm going to chill. It's like, no, you're playing chauffeur for the next three and a half hours.

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or you can have a SimpliSafe expert set it up for you. Either way, you're good. So for a limited time, get 20% off your new system when you sign up for Fast Protect monitoring. Visit simplisafe.com slash KFC Radio. That's simplisafe.com slash KFC Radio, there's no safe like SimpliSafe. Yo. What up, y'all?

What's up, dude? Yeah, it took my team like 10 minutes to get here. Let's go. Perfect. So, are you not that Calvin Klein fucking model sponsorship or what, bro? Oh, Ralph Lauren? Oh, no, dude. Ralph Lauren, that's right. No, fucking P Oh, Ralph Lauren? Oh, no, dude. Ralph Lauren, that's right.

No. Fucking Pabst got it. Oh, no. Him instead. Yeah, that makes sense. Oh, wait, dude, you look good. That's lit. Dude, we got...

What's what? You don't know about the new ones? No. Oh, you want to pop one of those? It's only a three, but go right ahead, bro. I don't know. I've never had classic. Classic is a new thing.

Classic is a little... How is classic a new thing? It's a little sweeter. It almost tastes like a little sugary. Spit it on the floor. A little sugar packet. Just spit it. It's got a light mint.

Does it really have sugar? You can double up, too. I mean, I think all of them. But you can only sell these here. Dog. Please. You got the Kinect? Take my Zins. My Zins are for everybody.

Thank you, bro. Me Zin, Su Zin, bro. We got ourselves a little Amsterdam reunion here. I... I can't believe it's been like – I guess because of like the group camaraderie in Amsterdam, I just like assumed we'd been on the show a bunch. No, we hit it off, bro. I mean, just a little drugs in Amsterdam.

You go hard. Drugs bring it together. I was about to say, like I have close close close friends in my life who i probably will never like share an experience like that you know yeah yeah like like i will never share that experience again like what we had and especially with me like if i go to sleep i'm a sleeper yeah you know but what we had my bad i just caught a whiff of like I thought I caught a whiff of a penis on a magazine. You might have. I didn't take enough Adderall to be focused enough.

It was a girl, not a penis. Ah, damn. Well, you know what's on my mind. Damn it. Busted. Damn it. Shit. The first epi, bro.

I just out myself. That's crazy, bro. Yeah, we were in amsterdam i took a bunch of mushrooms you guys talked about that was so cool bro i took a bunch of mushrooms i got a little overheated i tripped out a little too much also as you were getting overheated you had your jacket and your hood and like a scarf on i was like no wonder you're over here dude i was hot i was hot i thought it was cold the mushrooms told me it was cold it was not cold and i went down bro i didn't go down shout out peter bird's assistant who like saved the record yeah and then like i passed out but you know

tripped out for another couple hours in a hotel room and then said dude i got it i can't greatest rally of all time yeah i could that was that was 28 to 3 in human form yeah like you were done oh no no i was like is he actually okay like i thought you were dead not even thinking about the possibility of returning to the party and then the way you just sidled up in that picture and i was like yo what's up wait what yo he's back i don't even think I noticed it until I looked at the picture. I was like, is that Mark? No one noticed it until the picture. Wait, that's –

What? Well, I come back. Unbelievable moment. I come back. Of course you guys are going to be in the red light district. Yeah, but did you literally stumble upon us or someone told you where we were? I don't remember, bro. I think I just i i knew you

guys were gonna be in the force bro yeah i was like yo the banana club is gonna be fucking popping right now i'm telling you man there which by the way did you see lizzo's people yes i was doing my video on it i was like i'm an expert on the map yeah it's not it's not the type of place where you can say, no, thank you. You got to do it. Everybody's got to do it. It's a shared experience. I've been there.

I get it. There's a couple of things I did at that club that I didn't really want to do, but you got to do it because you're with the homies. I saw a titty in that club. Dude, it's not like peer pressure either. It's just common sense. It's culture. It's like, bro, if I'm going to go over to my boy's house and his culture is to take your shoes off.

Yeah. I'm going to take my shoes off. I don't want to take my shoes off, but I'm going to take my shoes off. That's a great point. If I walk into your establishment and you want me to catch a banana out of your pussy that you shoot out, I'm going to catch it with my mouth, bro. Nothing if I'm not a gentleman. I'm not going to use my hands. I'm not going to fucking disrespect you.

Yeah. That is a very, very good point. I'm disrespecting cultures Yeah No no no I'm not I'm not I'm not

I'm not on that white savior complex Oh fuck that man Walk you to a synagogue I'm not putting on a fucking yarmulke Get out of here Yeah what the fuck I'm not putting on No dude

These people worked hard They did bro They put in the work They worked hard Dude there was There's just nothing quite It's sort of like summer camp. It's sort of like you just have like a night out that's like magic.

You know what I mean? And then it's just like those people who share that will be boys for life. Yeah, I mean we – It could have gone bad. Like if we all didn't vibe, it could have been – Well, I think – I don't think it would ever have put everybody together. No, Burt's a very good like a party like guy.

He's like a party designer. DJ for humans. Yeah, that's exactly right. Yes, he is a DJ for – dude, he loves – and then when he brings two people together and they hit it off, like he will get this look in his eye where he's like, I did it. I did it.

Yeah. Yeah. He loves taking credit. Yeah. He brought, he would always talk about like, uh, Maddie Smith.

And he's like, you gotta fuck with Maddie. Like she's going to be your homie. And anytime someone tells me that someone's going to be my friend, I immediately, I'm like, fuck that person. You don't know me. You don't know shit about I immediately I'm like fuck that yeah we went to Australia together and they will never book us together again because we

are the exact same person and they would burnt would be where the fuck is mark it's smoking weed dude when she you know you know what we are she showed up in in amsterdam right at the last night no she came on she was over there there was one night where i think somebody or maybe i heard a story about you guys separately i think somebody took too many edibles and so and she just grabbed it and ate it too We're down to ride together I know it's going to be ugly for you But here we go

And I was like that is some cool shit Not even edibles Before we took the mushrooms We went to the pancake place And me and Maddie put down 20 pancakes I could eat those little ones I could eat literally a thousand of those We put down that plate and I looked at her.

She looked at me, and we both just said, like, run it back. And she was like, hell yeah. She's so funny. And I was like, that's my fucking dog. The run it back homie. That was the perfect blend of, like, everybody. And then also, like, you know, yeah, you never know. Like, it could go, like like you know uh yeah you never know like it could go like i'm uh you know i'm a comedian i got the barstool guys coming i'm nervous right like you know i got

a golf podcast right and we a little bit of beef there's not like beef bro first of all it's competition it's it's not even competition bro it's It's like, dude, they started this shit, bro. Foreplay started this shit. Like, we fucking, we took their blueprint. Really? And we just put our spin on it, bro. I want nothing more than to have a. But now, now there's the competition of like, yo, dog, like, what's up, bro?

Like, you don't think Country Club Adjacent big enough to, enough to play a match against, bro? Dog, we're kind of. I mean, Trump let us roast him. Really? Like, oh, you're more famous than the president? Wait, Trump let you roast him? Yeah, what the fuck? We've roasted Trump like three times.

No way. Yes, bro. I didn't know that. I was going to ask you about Golf of the Caitlin. At Trump Bedminster in Jersey. Really? What'd you say? We said a lot of shit, bro.

I talked in his backswing, bro. I talked in his backswing. I was like, I was like, I was like, don't worry. This was like right after his house got raided. It was like last year or whatever.

I was like, don't worry, Trump. My house got raided too. In his backswing, motherfucker threw a dart, bro. Over the water. Threw a dart, bro. Like, I was like, don't worry, Trump. My house got raided, too. In his backswing, motherfucker threw a dart, bro. Over the water. Threw a dart, bro. I was like, wow.

Wait, dude. I didn't fucking. How did I not see this? Because I was actually waiting. I was like, I can't wait to ask about the plane. Well, because you work at Barstool, your algorithm doesn't allow Country Club adjacent. It's like, it just shuts it down. But I've seen you guys with Caitlyn Jenner, which is one of my favorite pictures.

I remember screenshotting it. I was like, yo, they're all with Caitlyn Jenner Which is one of my Favorite pictures I remember Screenshotting I was like Yo they're all With Caitlyn Jenner Dude Caitlyn is a homie I love Caitlyn so much Caitlyn Let me just say

Caitlyn is such a Fucking athlete Obviously I did Win my 1v1 match Against her So I Wow

I have beat That's an Olympian bro Yeah A trans Olympian You know Fucking Like a superhero. I fucked her up. Sure.

She's 73 now, but whatever dog, you're going to say like, you know, Jay-Z could be 80. If I beat him in a rap battle, I'm still saying I beat fucking Jay-Z, bro. She's so sick, dude. Dude, she's so cool cool how does that come about so we um we like knew her like assistant slash manager sophia hutchins um we're like kind of friends with her through like these golf events she reached out to us like yo caitlin when we'd be down to work with you one time and we just like got a sponsor to like basically pay her cash appearance and we got a jill great on the cash like they told us what nelk charged like what they charged what she

charged nelk and then what she charged us and we just like paid her in cash the most money i've seen the most money i've seen in person in a bag that we just handed to her after the round. That's gangster. Can I guess the price? Yeah. I don't even know what to guess. Well, let me just say this. It was a good price to get Caitlyn out to film a golf match. Cash. I'm going to go lower than that.

$50. $50? Lower than that. Oh, okay. Yeah. $30? $25? Yeah, around $20, $25. $20, $25. Yeah, it was a good price. No shit. Oh, okay. 30? 25? Around 20, 25.

It was a good price. No shit. And you just rolled up to the course with that? Dog. Rolled up to the course with that. Just throw her a couple bands and play golf. Who was just telling me about Michael Jordan's golf thing? Oh, no. I was just at the Ryder Cup. And someone was telling us that Jordan,

he got kicked out of a country club. Because, I obviously have no idea the truth of the story. And someone was telling us that Jordan, like, he got kicked out of a country club because – I obviously have no idea the truth to this story. Who the fuck does that? I believe in Michael Jordan's story. If they kick Michael Jordan out, though, I'd be like, I'll get fired before I go kick MJ out of a fucking golf club. He plays – it's whatever – to gamble on a hole, it's whatever the hole's distance is, and you add a zero. Jesus.

And then, but you have to pay up after every hole you settle. And in order to play with him, you have to bring enough money. If he beats every hole. To that, he would win every hole. So people are showing up with like hundreds of thousands of dollars of cash. Absolutely, yeah. And they have one card that's a bank card that follows. That's so follows that and then the cart they play in a little little brinks golf truck yo i would gladly do that bro i would gladly go into some investment fund to get to for that

youtube video you're in there like fucking mike what's his name who's the guy from uh the big short oh uh the michael the guy with the glass eye and he's like i want this loan oh yeah what i just watched that movie a new straight talk wireless offering is now available where you can get walmart plus membership included on a select straight talk wireless plan for free. Only Straight Talk wireless gives you unlimited data, talk, and text, plus a Walmart Plus membership. So if you're trying to get that Walmart Plus, you might as well get it through Straight Talk because you're going to have to have a phone.

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Paramount Plus is a good one. Have you watched Lioness yet? No, I know that's on there. I don't know if it's – Yeah, you'd probably like it because it is Taylor Sheridan. It is action. And they have a lot of the Taylor Sheridan stuff. They've got the Diesel movies.

So if you're going to watch those movies, and you can also get member prices on uh fuel so you save on gas so all of these things if you have that you live in the modern era you're gonna have a phone you save on your phone and you can get all the stuff from the walmart plus membership there's no reason not to do it straight talk wireless is available at walmart and walmart.com dude that that is the way to be rich that's do that oh you want to hear the michael jordan story the real like how he built his golf course what you know how he's got that private golf course yeah you know every hole is like is catered to his game like the traps are conveniently like right um like after his max drives.

Any hole, his game is catered to. You only play if you gamble him. That's sick. I don't know a ton about golf, but when I was at the Ryder Cup, I was learning some things. You were learning how USA fucked up and that flat-faced fuck, Zach Johnson,

blew it for us? Songs. Yeah, go Europe, bro. I'm fucking European. I love my country, but the chance that Europe had, the game they were playing, the camaraderie they had. Our team was dog, bro. Our team was dog.

I should have put my life savings, and I would have won like 600 bucks, bro. The full six. Unbelievable. But I was learning, and I guess maybe this is what Liv does a little bit, like how teams are cooler, because like, I guess all the golfers on

Europe are like solid drivers, but they don't have the length, but they're accurate. So they made like the fucking fairways really thin, and they made the rough really thick, because America's going to have to live in there. And I was like, that's kind of like that home court advantage that you can't really do.

There's always the rumors about what Belichick does at Gillette. One I think is true is that to walk from the field to the locker room for the opposing team, the Patriots walk off the field, they're in their locker room. You've got to go through. The opposing team, it takes like eight minutes to get there. So by the time they get there, they have to come back. And they can't really do halftime adjustments.

Oh, yeah. That was a red hour back to's some fun design the temperature up oh yeah yeah game only cold water had like dead spots in the court that's just oh dude that's like some fucking spy no what they call it not spyware what do they call it spycraft they do whenever they go the word spycraft in a movie it's a good movie doing spycraft to build your fucking court wait wait wait what the fuck is spycraft in a movie, it's a good movie. Doing spycraft to build your fucking court is dope. Wait, wait, wait. What the fuck is spycraft, bro? First of all, I've never watched a movie and been like, oh, they got spycraft? Yo, if a character in a movie says the word spycraft, that movie's dope.

Let's see. Really? What is spycraft? It's like a... It's hard to describe. It's more of a feel thing. I'll tell you, it's actually the easiest thing to describe. Okay.

It is the skills and techniques employed by spies. That's what I was going to say. So what you're trying to convince me is Belichick is spycraft? Belichick's got great spycraft. He's got great spycraft. Like one movie I know they say spycraft in, Argo. I don't like that movie. You don't like that movie? Nah, I didn't fuck with that movie. What's got great spycraft. Like one movie I know they say spycraft in, Argo. I don't like that movie. You don't like that movie?

Nah, I didn't fuck with that movie. What's your problem with the movie Argo? And let me tell you, I'm the only person that doesn't like that movie. Dude, I love that. I'm the only fucking person. I hate The Godfather and I love telling people I hate The Godfather. I've tried to watch The Godfather 45 fucking times. It stinks.

I have Robert De Niro from Goodfellas tattooed on my stomach. I've tried to watch The Godfather 50 times. I've never not fallen asleep. It stinks. It fucking stinks. And when I tell people, they get so mad. And then they're like, you just haven't watched it. And I'd love to fucking watch it.

That's what they say to me. And I go, John, I haven't tried. Yeah. Argo, let's go go argo yourself for fucking go fuck yourself no but yeah dude that makes me want to throw up i don't like any movie that the like this the the the timing is like the stressor they're like oh this is about to happen and it's like every movie. No, it's not. Like, is the bomb going to go off? Yeah, yeah. And it's like, click, click, back. And it's like, shut up.

This was a fucking real thing. Did you have spycraft back then? Were you timing it back then? There's different ways to make the movie suspenseful without doing like seven seconds before the people are coming. Fuck out of here bro it's not every movie that does no it's not that you you don't like argo you fucking actively hate i hate argo let me tell you this i watched the documentary about that like that recently came out

you know like yeah yeah like the real story the real story i was like holy shit and i was like damn it's like super similar to the movie. I was like, did I fuck up? And I watched the movie again. I was like, no, I definitely didn't. This movie fucking stinks, bro. Did he win the Best Picture? No, Best Picture.

Best Picture. I remember saying like, that's a bit much. Like, you know, that was a movie, like a regular movie. You don't win best picture For your second No dude I watch Argo Fairly regularly They say spycraft

Best picture Yeah I mean yeah Based on Based on Yeah bro Look at Feidelberg Getting all uncomfortable now Cause I talk shit about Argo

Fuck it I think I think the other That's a regular movie Nah dude It's a good movie But you know what I mean When I say regular Like it's not one of these Best picture Yeah it's It's a good movie But you know what I mean When I say regular

Like it's not one of these Best character hoity-toity films Yeah it's like The Godfather bro But that's what you want Yes but I'm saying Yes So I get what you're saying But I think it's silly that

Like why the Academy All of a sudden Give them a fucking award For that shit I should be saying I like Argo Not the Academy The

I think the only one In contention that year Aside from that Was the Hurt Locker I think Hurt Locker Won Best Director Yeah But she won Also a dumb movie academy the uh i think the only one in contention that year aside from that was the hurt locker i think hurt locker won best director yeah but she won uh she won also a dumb movie hurt locker i don't care hurt like it's fine hurt locker and argo are the same thing i believe so i think i think ben affleck it's uh james cameron's ex-wife is the director of hurt locker i thought hurt locker was a long time ago and she i think she won her best director then and and i'll say it's a dumb movie having

never seen that movie but i just know that shit probably stinks what's your what is your favorite movie i'm assuming goodfellas i mean i think top three like goodfellas big lebowski um you you got a very big lebowski vibe uh i like that it's just yeah it's just i i watched it for the first time like three days ago oh wow it doesn't hit you the first time bro it does not hit you the first time oh it hit just i was gonna say i really hit you it's so good it is i remember you saying that recently and i and i remember being you gotta watch it i watch on the flight home from rome i mean it is it's unreal i i've seen it like in a hockey camp When I was a kid Yeah but you don't And I didn't really

Sit down and watch it When you When there's easter eggs Like a motherfucker Oh bro You can watch that movie A thousand times And go back and be like

Oh I didn't Really really cool shit Like Donnie Always talks like this And Walter never Does that I notice like Every time Donnie talks

He's like shut the fuck up Donnie Yeah yeah You know my favorite That I just watched from that that I never really noticed is when he's reading the kidnap letter and he's smoking the joint fucking Lebowski the real Lebowski

is giving a monologue speech and he's reading a letter that's like four sentences long but he's reading it and it takes him like three minutes but the background speech is a monologue. It's like Oscar winning. And I just never put two and two together, bro.

It's so funny. Just these little things, bro. And that's the Coen brothers too, right? And there's not a wasted line. Every line is important in that movie. Again, you're saying it didn't hit first time like i'm excited the second time then because the first time i was like this is fucking amazing that's really good to hear that that is a movie i mean right out the gates obviously you're not

a bowler or obviously you're not a golfer and he's got the ball it's just oh yeah yeah yeah when i first watch it i was like oh but then now it's like, oh, that's fucking the best. Or the hammering of the nails inside. And then the door just swings open the other way. It's just the best, bro. It really is. Yeah. If you told me that that's your favorite movie or the funniest movie of all time, no beef there. Yeah, there's no beef, bro.

I'm a movie guy, bro. Yeah. Argo sucks. Ben Affleck. I'll say this, bro. Fucking that Reindeer. Reindeer Games. sucks ben affleck i'll say this bro uh fucking that reindeer uh is a bet much better movie than argo bro reindeer games phenomenal i've never seen reindeer games oh it's i'm sure i'd love it it's uh in jane silent bob when he's like friends don't let friends make

friends don't let friends do reindeeranger games. Matt Damon says it to the movie. Yeah, it's great. It's a great movie. Fuck spycraft. Matt Damon's in your facecraft, bro. He doesn't need to spy. Yeah, he's good. So, speaking of Matt Damon, I just watched, I've been doing a lot of, like, 90s

thrillers recently. I said that it's a genre that just doesn't really exist anymore. Where there's a lot of the threat of violence, but there's not much actual violence. It's not an action movie. I'm trying to think what you're referencing. Like a heat? In the 90s? Like a heat?

Rainmaker. That's more of a suspense. What's that about? He's a lawyer suing an insurance company. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like suspense. The genre of suspense I don't think exists anymore. I love that.

A few good men. A few good men. I did a Pelican anymore. Yeah. I love that. A few good men. A few good men. I did a Pelican Brief. I did Primal Fear. Ooh. Damn, you're going hard. Yeah, dude. Did you do –

Firm. What's the one when they're sweaty with – Time to Kill. Yes. Time to Kill. Exactly. That's so great that you fucking called it from immediately me saying

they're sweaty they're so sweaty dude they are so sweaty such a good movie bro that was that's

that's a movie buff right there what's the one they're sweaty Time to Kill that's so good bro there's so many other ways

Like you know What's the one in the south With the KKK The racism Samuel L. Jackson You just said sweaty Time to go I think it's a pull quote

On the cover of the VHS God these guys are sweaty So both me and my girl Watching that And we're like God damn You want to take a break Like what the fuck

Dude you know what it is those are all it's like uh john grisham made all those yes yes yes it's all the fugitive uh all that shit is his where it's fugitive is even a little more actiony than i i'm talking about like you think again oh what did i watch the one uh with clint eastwood uh when he's like like an old secret service guy that in a lot of fire. Yeah. Yeah, same thing. There's action in the background, kind of. Is Clint Eastwood still alive? Yeah.

Still kicking. Yeah, because those are like movies, especially how America does, they're not making, people aren't going to see those in the theater, so they're not making those types of shit. They're great. Those great, those good storyboard movies. Dude, I swear to God,

it's the same thing as the algorithm. When people tell me that the algorithm is feeding me what I want, like it's got to start somewhere, though. So like there's sometimes like I watch a video, more so Twitter. I'm getting fed this crazy right wing wacko shit. And every time I it pops on my shit and I'm like, fuck this. But then I watched it and I'm getting fed more of it. i never wanted it in the first place no but you do i do you fucking do maybe they know me better don't ever say the algorithm is feeding me something i don't want you look like a fucking psychopath the algorithm knows okay so anytime i see like someone posts like why is the algorithm feeding me gay singles

uh near my area it's like dog did you ever hear of what was it called the los angeles um yeah it had a fucking name bro in 1982 it was i think they found a uh like on the docks like a big storage container when it was big like rectangle barge storage containers they opened it up and there was 17 000 dead babies in a fucking storage locker dude i'm so glad you brought that up immediately after a big laugh to just fucking bro absolutely you were like you were like gay singles in here speaking of gay singles yeah

dead babies bro that like what he did with the sweaty with the sweaty you did the opposite like he perfectly you fucking went left

dead babies okay that was in my my twitter though I'm like why am I getting 17,000 dead babies and it's a real thing and you clicked on the article i watched the whole fucking thing but then i was

like fuck now i'm gonna get more of this yeah so i think the same thing when they're like like um the comedy the comedy movies are like gone they don't people don't watch those anymore like what you just said like that type of writing like i think people like that shit i think someone's gotta fucking just make them again yeah it's like it's a circular thing yeah i mean like they're saying you don't watch it because we don't make it and we're like we'll fucking watch them if you make it yeah yeah i think like whatever's popular though like yeah i mean yeah like those the marvel movies are objectively starting to suck you'll get yeah those things like that that's had its moment and it's still when the avengers spider-man x-men they

do their thing people people will watch. When it's the fucking Green Lantern, no one's going to give a fuck. You know what I mean? So, dead that and go make some funny movies and shit. I think you'll find it. You'll find it on the streamings. You'll find little cutty movies. I think a lot of things that I've been doing now is you've got to look outside of America to find these good movies, bro.

For real. And I don't want to be that guy that's like i watch foreign films now but like bro i watch foreign films now bro and you know like korea rider cupcake and now this you sound very anti-american bro i'm just saying i'm just saying i'm just saying go europe and korea makes kore Korea makes the best movies. They're on a hot streak. They're on a fucking – and I'm going back to like all these directors and they make the movies that you're talking about. Really? Yeah, bro.

The movies that like don't end in the fucking – the good guy gets the – and it's a whole different culture that I noticed of our culture being vengeance is winning, whereas their culture is if you give vengeance, nobody wins. And it's weird. It's cool to watch that other angle of how you view life because we don't make movies like that. That's interesting. Motherfucking Keanu Reeves kills every single buddy in his way that killed his dog, and he goes like this afterwards. He's Jesus Christ. But Korea, that were to happen, you kill every single person. Well, you actually ended up killing your family member.

It's like a mindfuck. Some shit like that. Yeah, some shit like that. I get that. Oh, I got the girl, but I ended up fucking the girl, and that's my sister. I swear to God, bro. It's very – It was Squid Games was that way kind of. Squid Games was that way. And Parasite had some weird swear to God, bro. It's very, yeah. It was Squid Games was that way, kind of.

And Parasite had some weird shit to it. Parasite had that, yeah. Where it's like, you think you're getting what you want, but you're really not. But actually, yeah. We were talking about that. I was talking about that with Trent the other day. We're like, some of my favorite movies are just like,

it's just a good, like, there is nothing spectacular about it. It's just a good story. It's just like a story. It's like Banshees. Like, you'd be, yeah, it's Banshees. Dude, Banshees is a fucking shit. Banshees, bro.

What's the one he did before Banshees? It's like one of my favorite movies ever. In Bruges. It's just about like guys and their family shit and life happening. It's just, you know. Seven Psychopaths? So good, bro. Dude, I just watched that for the first time recently.

Yeah, because you've been stuck watching fucking Argo and shit, bro. You're fucking up, dog. You're sitting there going like, oh, bro, Argo's so cool, bro. They got out of the fucking country at the right time. And you're missing these good movies like Inferoos and Seven Psychopaths. Do you like Ben Affleck? I love Ben Affleck. I love Ben Affleck.

Fuck, I love Ben Affleck. I wasn't sure if it was an Affleck thing. I love reindeer games, bro. Right, right, right. Dude, Good Will Hunting is phenomenal. Dude, Ben Affleck. Fuck, I love Ben Affleck. I wasn't sure if it was an Affleck thing. I love reindeer games, bro. Right, right, right. Dude, Good Will Hunting is phenomenal. Dude, Ben Affleck is particularly cool, though. If I could hang out with one celebrity, I think it would be Ben Affleck. He might be up there, dude.

Those pictures of him smoking cigs, like, looking all stressed out, and the Dunkin' Donuts. My favorite one, when he put J-Lo in the car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he walks around the car and slams her door. I was like, yo, that is every dude. He just does it with J-Lo in the car? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he walks around the car and slams her door. I was like, yo, that is every dude. He just does it with J-Lo. I like when he yelled at the Spanish TMZ workers in Spanish. Yeah.

They're like, oh, yo, vamos, vamos. And you're like, god damn, this fool. This fool really sending it, huh? That dude is the man. Even when he liked the selling out stuff's awesome And he had that commercial What was that? It's not selling out

But it's a commercial for Duncan He does now Where it's like him and Ice Spice I haven't seen this Dude I haven't seen this It's him and Ice Spice And they're like

He's like He like He hams up his Boston accent He's like Maybe we do like a rap or something And he's just like I like Duncan Munchkins Now you go

Sounds great And most's just like, I like Dunkin' Munchkins. Now you go. Sounds great, bro. And most people that like. Cash the check, dude. Bro, I love Ben Affleck, dude. You know why? Because he's self-aware, too. Like, he's done movies where he's been self-aware. Yes.

Dogma. Yeah. How are people going to connect you with Dunkin'? Hey, I'm a Dunkin' man. I've seen it. Ice-spice. My games are the Munchkins. Me too. Ice-spice Munchkins drink. I'm sure Ben Affleck is like,

that's just kind of his ace up his sleeve. He's like, I'll just do the Boston accent and they'll love it. Yeah. Everyone, I'll say cause and people will go nuts. Yeah. Fucking idiots. Yeah. And you know, he cashed out with his fucking movie making money laundering scam that he started 20 years.

What is it? Green light pictures or whatever. Yeah. That's one of the fakest shit. Oh, I do. I do really appreciate that those guys. Wait, why is that fake? They, they, they, why is that fake?

Why is that fake? Yeah. They straight up stole – what's it called, right? Yeah. Good Will Hunting. Yeah. They just jacked that. They were like, why has Ben Affleck and Matt Damon never written another thing ever again?

Yeah. It's like, because we didn't. Yeah. And also it's like – it's like a movie foundation. Those are real? Whatever you guys are saying doesn't make sense to me. Oh, my bad. By the way, when they rewrote something, they say it's one of the best movies I haven't seen yet. Yeah, that night movie.

That night movie. They finally got back together. Yeah. It wasn't a movie that the masses would like, but I think people who saw it and liked movies liked it. What movie? It's them. It's Adam it's a phenomenal guy it's some fucking french it's like something like the french revolution or some shit like that they're nice oh i did watch that yeah that movie that movie yeah that shit was a godfather to me bro yeah really it was it was um i should there was

some fucked up revenge shit in that it was like i think it was like you have to you have to like he fucked my girl and now you have to kill her was like, I think it was like, you have to, you have to like, he fucked my girl and now you have to kill her or some shit like that. It was like wild shit. I watched it. It was a snooze, but I could see where people are like, this is a masterpiece. But for regular people, it's like, fuck that. It's like Argo.

Yeah. Give me Avengers. Give me Avengers and gamer or whatever the fuck. I've never seen one of those. You've never seen any, any of the Marvel? No. That's a little crazy. No, I saw it. That of those. You've never seen any? No. Any of the Marvel? No. That's a little crazy. No, I saw...

That almost starts to border on you doing it on purpose. No, but I saw the fucking... What's the Wolverine? The last one I watched was the Wolverine one that was supposed to be like... Yeah, Logan. And that shit was so bad, bro. And that was the one that my boys brought me.

Like, you're going to like this one, bro. It's gritty. Yeah. It's gritty. Yuck. Yuck, Logan. Bro, you can't't your name can't be logan bro and like i believe that you're some ex fucking man with logan who's your fucking sidekick bryson dude logan i guess logan has become that kind of name but when i was growing up my best friend's name middle name was logan and I thought I thought it was the sick

I was like dude why don't you go by fucking Logan Logan Roy bro Logan Roy is one of the fucking biggest gangsters ever on TV and then you got

Logan the Wolverine what show Succession oh yeah that's another one that doesn't dude I hate shit my bad bro

Succession doesn't I love a good hater though dude fucking Succession is another one dude Succession's one where people are like It is the greatest I watched like a season and a half

Two seasons of it I liked it it was fine But people are like it's the greatest show It is so funny It's not funny what are you talking about This isn't a funny show Also you know how you know it's all bullshit They were saying that on season two.

I was like, the story's not even close to done yet. So how the fuck are you talking about it's up there with Sopranos and Breaking Bad and all that shit? Bro, anybody who says anything's up there with Sopranos can catch hands. It doesn't watch TV, bro. Bro, I hate Sopranos. Oh, dog. Hold on, bro. It's the same shit asos. Oh, dog. Oh. Hold on, bro. It's the same shit as The Godfather, bro.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It ain't the same shit as The Godfather. I shouldn't say I hate The Sopranos. I just, first of all, I don't like, I think it's, I don't like Italians. Because the mob shit really just doesn't do it for me. Fair. A lot of people just see the mob and they're just like, the mafia is so good.

I'm like, you know, I get it, whatever. So that turns you off a little bit. And if you've watched The Sopranos, you will realize how much they make fun of Italians in that. Like you have to really watch it. They are so tongue-in-cheek. And you have to be – the first time you watch it, like Big Lebowski, you don't really pick up on it. When you go back, they'll say something.

And then the next scene, they are just absolutely tearing it down. And you think that they're trying to make it cool. They're just making fun of it. Like it's so good. I don't doubt that it's like – I don't ever say it's poorly made or it's like yeah i just i don't like it i also i don't i don't like the sopranos or the wire and people go yeah well now if you say that like i'm back i'm back with you final like i'll watch argo again you know what and maybe godfather is good you don't like the sopranos or the wire what's your favorite tv show like breaking bad is probably up there. Yeah, that's trash, bro.

Like Breaking Bad is good, but they are just jumping the shark. The Wire, I just – when people – What do you like better, Breaking Bad or Better Call Saul? I – there's – Breaking Bad is my answer. There are parts of Better Call Saul where it got cooking, and then there are parts of Better Call Saul that I think is like unwatchable. Yeah, and that's fair. Dude, I saw

Totally wrong. Better Call Saul became a thing for people to say it's better than the original and it's just not. It's just not. It's not, dude. It's not. I saw a tweet about Better Call Saul that I thought perfectly encapsulated. Just to be clear, by the way,

The Sopranos, I was like Kevin for a while. And he sold out. There was just too many Italians. There was like a run of it. It's Mob, it the way, The Sopranos, I was like Kevin for a while. And he sold out. There was just too many Italian. There was like a run. It was like, it's Mob, it's Mob, it's Mob. And I didn't watch, obviously. Well, it got sold as that. That's the thing.

It got sold as this Goodfellas show. Yeah. It's not bad. It's not. And then when I watched it, within two episodes, I was like, all right, never mind. This is fucking fire. It's about therapy, and it's about the American dream. Yeah.

And it's about how and it's about the American dream and it's about how off people fit into that and once you kind of like get that and realize it's really just about the American family and that I actually

respect more The Wire to me is like it's fucking the drug game and all that shit when everybody just agrees that season 2 on the docks

is like unwatchable but I have to power through that I just don't do that I'm not gonna watch 10 hours of that yeah it's not that good i'm not a big season two guy there's only four seasons bro well that and that the wire got fucked like the wire should have been six or seven seasons but nobody was watching it because everyone was watching sopranos

so they had to wrap it up that last season is a bullshit last season so two of the four are bad what's that two of the four seasons no season two ain't bad bro you know i i didn't get through season two i tried that i tried to do one of my one of my uh pandemic shows season three and four really good and i was like yeah yeah it's for the for better call sol i saw a tweet the other day where like someone was using it as like this is how good better call sol is and i was like that's proof how and And I thought Better Call Saul was fine. Whatever. It's kind of like you.

But the... It was like... It was like, I accidentally hit the remote and paused Better Call Saul. And it was in... Bob Odenkirk was sitting in a chair when it happened.

And I watched it for three minutes thinking it was a brilliant character study piece before realizing I had just paused it. I was like, well, then you're just like going in being like no matter what happens, it's great. It's just a still shot. I like that guy.

That guy's fucking right, bro. Fuck that guy. Better Call Saul. That is the worst kind of guy. Breaking Bad is the Marvel's endgame of fucking TV, bro. No, but Better Call Saul is trying to make Breaking Bad even into a more theatrical thing when it doesn't need to. Bro, the fucking tinfoil blanket because he's allergic to electricity? What the fuck?

That shit sucks dick. What? But then as he's walking through, this is how dumb your ass is. This is how fucking dumb your ass is. This is how I know you don't watch TV. Yeah, that blanket. What about the fucking scene where the guy's walking through the fucking desert with $2 million of just sweat and tears and he almost died. And what is he wearing?

That fucking blanket that his brother, his dead brother, used to wear. And he's now wearing it to cover himself, to shade his wrongdoings through the desert. That does nothing for me, bro. Yeah, you know, you don't even pick up on that shit, bro. You're like, oh, I don't know the scene you're talking about. Exactly, bro. Actually, that does sound heavy-handed to me. I probably would have been like, oh, because it's a fucking tinfoil blanket.

It's the least subtle thing of all time. Dude, it's so good. I like Breaking Bad. I'm not saying Breaking Bad is a bad show. I just felt like it was a little too TV-ish for me, like Argo-ish. Like things were kind of like put into place and timing. There's too many timings. Some of the science shit that he does.

There's too many. Not science shit that he does too many not even the science is cool because i think it held up the timing shit of like i'm getting back to the house but the cops are coming you got that shit yeah i don't like that shit bro there's none of that in sopranos you know what i just i just like as i was waiting in line getting lunch just now i read a tweet from like variety or something like that about Vince Gilligan's new show. And it's got nothing to do with Better Call Saul. It's got nothing to do with Breaking Bad. There's no crossover, no nothing.

He hopes people don't think that. But it's set in Albuquerque. I think that's the thing, though. Well, then don't set it in Albuquerque. That's his other show. Yeah, that's ridiculous. We're going to make it exactly like that. He's like, I hope people don't think they exist in the same universe. I sit in the same town.

It's not like L.A., bro. It's Albuquerque. I think his whole jam is like, I think, the Mexican border type area because the other show that actually came before Breaking Bad, but then once he got on Breaking Bad they were like let's green light his old shit was also like a cop cops on the border of Mexico

sort of thing so that's like maybe there's no violence there's no action there's no it's about like I'm gonna pull it up it's like about family I'll watch it bro like I was a big fan of the Breaking Bad movie I know a lot of people didn't like that

I like that what's up El Camino yeah it was so good and that shit was like there was no like I said it was just like

that development of character where are we seeing these guys True Detective season one is like the fucking one of the best shows

ever bro season two I have to that shit stunk that shit was bad you know what that was as a ben affleck fan that shit yo that was um that was like that dude spent his whole life writing season one and then they were like cool do it again in 10 months because we gotta go to season two well then they lost the director yeah and the i think it was the korean guy was he korean or japanese whatever yeah but like his his shots and he was the one who did that long tracking shot bro that shit was crazy bro i think i think nick pizzolatto was was cocky about it was like i can

do it we don't need him and it was like bullshit wrong that was some brady belichick shit and you picked wrong dude yeah bro yeah just because garoppolo looks like brady don't mean he gonna be brave yeah where you originally from uh born in jersey grew up outside philadelphia but moved to the bay area california when i was like about to go to high school okay so is that like a little bit of both a little bit i like i actually if i would have had to like guess yeah it would be that yeah but i say like i smoke weed but like it gets me angry. You know? Like I have like a little both flavors.

You know? Are you a Philly sports fan? No. I'm kind of like bandwagon all over the place. Like I'm a Steelers fan because my pop's from Pittsburgh. Giants fan because we moved and Barry moved like right when we moved from the Pirates to the Giants. And then we just would go to Giants games. And then for basketball –

That's actually kind of cool if you moved to – And Barry moved, bro. I was a big Barry and Larkin fan. But then he moved. Dude, being – I never actually put myself in the shoes of being a Barry Bonds fan. It must have been awesome. Oh, dude. Like of being a Barry Bonds fan. Yeah. Must have been awesome. Oh, dude. Like 2004, watching Barry Bonds just be like, he's going to hit a home run every time.

Oh, bro. Like if the ball's over the plate, he's going to hit a home run. The Giants, like being a Giants fan from my era, like when I came up, like, bro, we had like dope shit, bro. Like I sat at Tim Lincecum's No Hitter, you know, showed up late to it. I had tickets to Matt Cain's Perfect Game, and I forgot about it. And I watched it from work. Realized I had tickets seventh inning.

Was like, motherfucker. Bro, my dad did exactly that. What? We had tickets to – we were watching Lester's. And my dad – against the Royals. And my dad had tickets to the Sox. And he was like, wait, who's got – who got tickets tonight? He gets up, goes to his room had seen the Sox and he was like wait who's got who's got the tickets

tonight he gets up goes to his room just comes back and he's holding as they're watching the perfect game going that's mother fucker

those Barry Bonds stats are like my favorite thing in sports yeah man it's a travesty I think it's a travesty that he's not in the Hall of Fame

yeah but also fuck the Hall of Fame you know what I mean I mean for us but for them bro that's what they fucking if I was Barry Bonds I would be on an the Hall of Fame. You know what I mean? I mean, for us, but for them, bro, that's what they fucking – If I was Barry Bonds, I would be on an anti-Hall of Fame campaign. I'd be like, I'm going to start my own fucking club.

Yeah. But you know what's going to happen? It's the stupidest thing we do in this life is that like when one of the first juice head guys dies, they're going to be like – now we got to put them in the Hall of Fame. Yeah. And like why we do that, why we wait until people die to do that is – You think that will happen? juice head guys dies they're gonna be like we now we gotta put them in the hall of fame yeah and like why we do that why we wait till people die to do that you think that'll happen i think at some point you're gonna have to put steroid people in the hall of fame you just it's gonna have to happen it doesn't they've talked about the other wing they've talked about like all like acknowledging as time goes on to people it's like they're less affected by it are gonna be like how

bad was it really and it's such a virtue signaling stance to take. Like, oh, we're not letting these certain guys in, but all these guys that we just don't have any proof we're going to let. It's so like. You know what they should have done? If Barry Bonds, I mean, it's probably on account of the steroids because they're like fucking, you know, juice head rage monkeys. But if there was a guy from that era that was like the league was like pushing this on us like we had to keep up you know what i mean like it was it was like the most toxic fucking league and and in order to to you know try to there's a hostile work environment

it's a hostile work i'm telling you and and i think that's kind of bullshit but there is for sure people in this era that would be like yeah it was not your fault but instead barry bonds has always been like fuck you guys but like it is it is real i mean it's not like i guess you could like lump it in with like oh it's just like one of those phony workplace but like if you're at a job and the culture of the job is pushing you towards this way and then later the job comes at you and is like, it's your fault? Motherfucker, I worked for you. What are you talking about? That's like, they just gaslight Barry Bonds to like fucking be like,

you're our guy. Never mind. What the fuck is that, bro? They were cashing those checks. They were loving the ratings. The same thing with Tiger Woods and the PGA Tour, where as soon as tiger woods gets in fucking trouble the pga tour comes out and they're like we just don't approve

of is that shut the fuck when i watched that special and i saw the press conference he gave when his wife when he came out he was cheating yeah to give a press conference about like his personal sex life behavior i was like are you fucking kidding me that would have been and then they have these white motherfuckers at the masters giving a press conference without him about tigers actions these white cucks who have not let black people into the club are gonna now chastise him? Are you kidding me? These guys own slaves. And you're getting mad at him for cheating on his wife?

Get the fuck out of here, bro. The cheating, too, is so funny, too, where, like, it is, like, she, for whatever reason, she did beat the shit out of him. Yeah. Well, I mean, she's pretty gangster. I mean, whatever. But then they're like She's pretty gangster I mean whatever But then they're like And he's like I'm so sorry

But like You flip it It's like I was cheating on my husband He beat the fucking piss out of me I gotta get up there Oh yeah And wear it

And be like I'm sorry I'm at fault here Bro could you imagine If she She hit him with a golf club Like with a swing She was hitting the car right

She was hitting the car But like He had some marks on him Like he'd gotten hit before he got to the car. There's a reason he was running to the car and fucking hitting the gas. Bro, if you get whacked with a fucking iron. My favorite thing about it is. I think she killed him. Dude.

That would be a crazy alternate reality. Elon fucking murdered him. There is a reality where that happens. Yeah. Sure, man. My favorite is Norm talking about it where he's making a joke. Alternate reality. Elon fucking murdered him. There is a reality where that happens. Yeah. Yeah. Sure, man. My favorite is Norm talking about it where he's making a joke. And he says, like, how many – like, if you think about the Tiger Woods thing, like, how many chances in your life us regular guys have to cheat with, like, a beautiful girl or something? Maybe six or seven times, right?

And Tiger Woods is the most famous sports star he could do it like probably every day he's getting offered right so he's turned down all these offers if you think about it that's like 0.000028 percent of women he could have slept with if you think about it mathematically he's the most loyal husband to ever walk this like that was that's a good joke that's some facts yeah fuck one perkins wager saying all of a sudden he had to have been regretting the p he's like if i didn't bring up the p yeah that that was tough when when he's doing the pee thing that was what's her name uh well was that rachel you know no no no the porn star i forget her name when yeah but she doubt that doubt or no i forget her name she caked in on

that it was that it was her it was the uh the waffle house waitress yeah i know i know because i've seen the video where she was like – it's like she learned to throw a fastball. She's like, I'm just doing tiger porn parodies now. I've watched a bunch of them. They're not even trying to find out. I mean, when your viral thing hits, you just got to go for it, bro. Who's your – is Norm your guy in comedy?

In comedy, I think like the top – my top three guys, like who I was mostly inspired by would be like Chappelle, Patrice, and Burr. I think are my top three guys that when I was coming up, those were the guys that I watched that I was like, I want to do comedy like them. Chappelle, for the way he could just take you on a ride and have it be serious, he'll make the most astute point with the silliest punchline. Dude, he has one. I just saw him live MSG like two weeks ago. I'm not going to do it because – Yeah.

But it's kind of – it's about trans stuff. It is so goddamn funny. It's like – When he first came back, he had that long joke about Bill Cosby where he lays out everything that happened in history and then the punchline is, and during that whole time, Bill Cosby was

raping bitches. The history is interesting. He delivers it well. It's so long without a laugh and he stays confident the whole time because he knows it's going to murder him in the end. He's going to make you think. And you're going to go like, oh.

And then you're going to laugh at something stupid. And you're going to be upset. The Bird Revelations. The whole time he's raping girls. Yeah, the Bird Revelations, he's talking about the guy that accused Kevin Spacey of molesting him. And he was like, you you know can you fucking believe like these guys knew who they were and he had to hold on to a secret for this long like the pain this got this kid must have go through a child holding on to this dirty secret and if he would

have just held on to it for five more months i would have known how house of Cards ends. It's just like the way – you're like, yeah, and then he just flips it. And then Burr for like – Burr for the way he can change your opinion, his delivery. He's been quiet for a while, no? I don't think he's been quiet. Like I think he's putting out specials. Has he? And then Patrice for just – he's real, bro. Like you watch him on stage and it's not an act.

You think he would have – you think he would be like a superstar if he lived? I don't know. I wonder because I also feel like if he made it to this era, he would have been – I mean you would – I always love to think – Yeah, I would always love to think like the material would be epic. And right now, I think he would just... I mean, even you watch clips of him 10 years ago, and he's challenging free speech, which was the huge thing.

Yeah, he's ahead of time a little bit. He was always ahead of his time. But it is funny. A lot of people, they revere him, and they miss him, and they talk so kindly and then but they're also like but he was a fucking asshole yeah i never met him i never met him i think he you know he yeah he did not make a ton of friends yeah i and i i couldn't say that he would like me bro yeah i think i hit the bill that he would clown me like immediately um but

you know i grew up listening to him on the opiate anthony show and watching his specials when i got into comedy shortly after i got in like he passed away uh he was just like a big influence and watching his sets and how he just maneuvers and can get off a punch line and resonate with old white people young white like everybody like it's just i i can't imagine that era when like you know they talk about like the table at the comedy store at the comic seller like it's just i i can't imagine that era when like you know they talk about like the table at the comedy store at the comic seller when it's like it was him colin quinn and like patrick yeah and you're supposed to and you have to like earn their respect yeah oh my god that's not happening easy man that's not that's not it's funny because like i tour with burt now a lot and he's a big ona stan as well and like you know he's huge

bro like he's a fucking one of the biggest comics right now but he's still like it's kind of recent for him it seems like yeah and so he still is a fan of these older guys we were doing a spot at um he was doing a spot at the new club ro Rogan's new club at Mothership. And Norton was in the green room. And both me and Bert are big ONA fans. And we would send clips on the bus. And now Norton's in front of us. And he's shooting me looks.

And so we're asking Norton about these fanned out questions. Like, dude, what was it like when Patrice did this? Or what was it like? And Patrice and Bert were friends. So he tells me a lot of old stories. I remember when we first interviewed Bert, I was probably the most nervous I've ever been for anything. Oh, I'm sure. I remember it was either the first or second time.

I was wearing, I think I was wearing the Witherspoons sneakers. You know, those yellow and purple and shit, like wild shoes. And I remember being like, fuck, I should have just wore like white sneakers. And sure enough, he was like, what the fuck are you wearing on your feet? Yeah. No, actually, they're actually cool, dude. Yeah. If Bert came in here, he would have called out your pink eye like fucking.

Brutal. But like me, I wait like an hour into the pod to be like, don't fart on your pillow, bro. You know? I said yesterday was the ugliest day of my life. This is better than yesterday. Was it just a big stye or what? I started getting styes in my old age. Why are you stressing, bro?

Is that what it is? Yeah, dude. Oh. You're stressing, bro. Just stop. Relax, bro. I didn't know that. Dude.

I'm going to get styes forever. Yeah, I think so, right? I have no idea. I'm a stye-free guy. Yeah, I've never had one. I'd pick out, but never had a stye. They're like, is that a stye? I was like, nah, it's fucking eat ass.

There is something – I have no cares in life. There is something that feels a little embarrassing. I'm like, oh, I'm the gross kid. You know what I mean? I have no cares in life. There is something that feels a little embarrassing. I'm like, oh, I'm the gross kid. You know what I mean? Yeah. But, yo, I was like, oh, I only started getting these later in life. It's like, hmm, I can track it right back to the date of divorce.

How about that? Hmm, that works out pretty well. You don't know. Eyeballs are falling out of my fucking head. Yeah, dude, Zoloft, bro. It fits the milligrams, bro. You get it from hymns nowadays bro i was fucking my skin was like gray oh my hair was all fucked up my eye and i mean i i declared it the ugliest day of my life do you think you could pinpoint the ugliest you've ever been uh yeah kind of a fun thing to have yeah there's a there's a picture of me in the pandemic where i'm a skinny guy bro but um i was skinny bro like i i

was doing nothing but taking adderall and streaming war zone like 12 hours a day and we went to like the beach and i was white as a ghost and i was like 120 pounds bro bro. No way. For real, Buck 20? Yeah, bro. You're tall too, right? I'm like 150. Now 150, 160 is my fighting weight. No shit. You're 40 pounds. Bro, I was like. You were a quarter of your weight down.

I was skinny, bro. I wasn't doing anything, bro. I was just fucking playing video games and taking fucking Adderall, bro. Yeah. And eat food. Fuck food, bro. I don't need that shit. Like what, dude? I got food, bro. I don't need that shit. Like, what, dude?

I got food stamps, but I ain't using it. Jesus. I think that probably, and then, like, yeah, I saw a picture. I was like, okay, don't ever do that again. Like, you can go outside once in a while. Time to clean up a little bit. You, like, pick your style well. Thank you.

That makes sense. Thank you. We had a guy here many years back. He wanted to be on the road to 200 pounds. He wanted to bulk up, and he was drinking fucking gallons of milk, and he just ended up getting this fat cum belly. But we had told him every time, get some tats fucking wear like you know some skinny jeans get the right look and you just you'll be you and be cool and you don't have to put on fucking

60 pounds you know yeah like i always fantasize about getting fat like i would love to you know like i would love that look of just like especially being a comedian like it's a little bigger yeah and you know i don't like laying down and looking at my body and just seeing every bone in there but like no matter what you eat or do dude i i just i i don't eat a lot i don't eat a lot but i i don't like put on pounds dude i i had a buddy who would like he tried to put on weight. He was really skinny, too. And, like, he would, like, he'd eat dinner, and then he'd have, like, one of those, like, meal replacement shakes.

And then he would lay on the couch, like, in pain because his, like, metabolism was going so hot. And, like, he'd be like, come feel my stomach. Come feel my stomach. And it would be like an engine running hot. Right? And, like, it was, like, I was like, dude, I was i'm like dude just stop doing this to yourself man you know i gotta get bigger i gotta get bigger what bro like bro i don't need to get bigger i'm

not getting into fights if i'm gonna get into a fight i'm gonna hit you first and you're not gonna see me after that it's i'm gone like dude it's not i I'm not – I hate eating. If I could just eliminate eating, dude, it's boring. It's boring. What's your favorite food? What's my favorite food? Yeah, like pizza and Mexican. Yeah. Like I'll eat rice and beans and empanadas and tacos and then like pasta and pizza.

But other than that, like I hate – Like if someone is like, yo, let's go to this Michelin star restaurant. I don't care. Chef, you're just like, fuck it. No, and that's what sucks with Torrent. What Bert is like his thing is food. He loves food. Bro, that Chinese food that he ordered, I would say 10 times too much food.

Yeah, yeah. Like 10x. Oh, you should have seen us when we ordered. I think, was it the show? No. I thought it may have been the show in Amsterdam. Maybe this was in Australia. We had the guy order us sushi, our tour manager for that one night.

And the guy brought back sushi for like maybe three people. And I was like, this Burt is going to be livid. And this dude fucking – I watched this all go down. The dude comes into Burt and Burt goes, do you think this is going to be enough? And the guy goes, sushi goes a long way. And I heard that. Bro, I walked out of the room because I was like, first of all, sushi does not go a long way. The opposite.

But you do not talk back to the machine about food. You're a fucking dunzo, bud. Bro, you should have seen the platter that came in already the whole fucking country of Japan was on our fucking plate it was crazy did Bert just

like see your shit and like you or what's the name of it yeah Bert I actually did this thing called Clusterfest which is

Comedy Central put on this like festival years ago in San Francisco and I was like one of the comics that they picked locally to do it. I got picked to do like his storytelling show. So I met him back in the day and I did his storytelling show. He had thought it was like really funny.

I'm 36. OK. And so this was like – this was years. This was like four years in the comedy. I started when I was like 25, 26. And I had worked with like Nikki Glaser. Nikki had posted me and he had like messaged her. She had shown me like, oh, that dude's really funny.

So I knew he had known about me. I did a set with Don't Tell Comedy. He had seen like one of the clips. He loved the joke. And then I had just started working with levity um and my manager uh alex uh i i don't know how it worked but i think he was looking for new openers my manager said just hey i got this guy he goes oh i know that guy and then he what a fucking like bro i did the first bro i did the first dates with them like i he was like you want to do these dates yeah sure i show up at the arena

in fucking louisiana and i'm early they're not, sure. I show up at the arena in fucking Louisiana. And I'm early. They're not there yet. But I'm looking at the arena. And it's an arena, bro. I always say, I don't know how you guys do it. Bro, I don't know how. When it's like, the most I've ever performed in front of is like 300. And now I've got to perform in front of fucking 15,000.

I didn't think it was even going to be filled, bro. I just saw the floor getting seats. And I was like, oh, the seats are going to be. I've done shows like this. And then you walk out five minutes before and it's like, holy shit. I mean we did The Garden in Boston. Yeah. I blacked out.

That was right after Amsterdam, right? That was – yeah, right. Yeah, we flew back to The Garden. It's like physically different to like – Yes. Like the audio. You got to tell your jokes different, walk around different. Yeah, not really.

Like that you just fall. You kind of fall into place. I think you just know how to please the crowd. You know how to word it. It takes a couple of times and still like – You can't really do any crowd work or any of that kind of shit, right? No, I do. Yeah?

Okay. That's what I like. I like pride myself. It's like a lot of people that will watch me. They're like, bro, like how do you do crowd work? Like you're up there treating it like – I'm not like just doing – What do you do for a living? But I'm still keeping like i'm not like just doing what do you do

for a living yeah but i'm still keeping it looser yeah and and there's big screens so you're able to do that like it's not just like they can see you and um that's cool bro and you just but you never really get used to it like i did the garden the night after we did like 10 000 in banger main that felt like 200 people. I was fucking walking that stage. It was a fucking open mic. But then a month later, you go back. I did Tampa.

It was like 15K. I was like, where the fuck am I? I don't know. That's crazy. I love him, bro. I love Burt. He's one of my favorite people. He wasn't a person that I watched growing up in comedy, but now he's one of my favorite people because I've seen it from the inside out.

And that dude is so underrated in stand-up comedy and life in general, bro. You've met him. He presents himself as this bumbling idiot. The motherfucker is one of the smartest people in the game. That's where – when you get as big as he gets, you're going to have haters, you're going to have people comparing and all that shit. And it's like,

if some of the shit that those haters said were true, he would never even be remotely close to the success he is. How do you think you can tell this guy anything about anything? You know what I mean? It's just people. Yeah, it really is. I mean, we see it with barstool too it's like oh dog yeah i mean yeah you get it all the fucking time at barstool but it's like it's with patrice which is my favorite thing that

i go back to is what patrice said he says i'd rather have the whole room hate me than 50 like me and 50 hate me bro i disagree with that. I would like to be liked. And if it's half and half, because I'm not going to get everybody. Did you get that Ralph Lauren job? I did not get that Ralph Lauren job. I'm just saying, bro. I'm just saying, bro. I'm just saying, bro.

I'm just saying, bro. You know what I'm saying? Hey. What the fuck was that, man? Hey, I just. This guy got half people like him. Yeah, you got it. You got it.

You got to not give a fuck. You got it. I don't. I don't care. But like, if I had my druthers, if it was up to me, I'd rather people like me. Like, if you don't like me, it's not going to bother me. If you say it to my face, I'm like, what the fuck is that all about but if i like like the knowledge that not everyone likes me doesn't bother me but if they're like like people like i like to be hated i don't like to be hated

i'd rather be liked okay i'm not it's not gonna change my opinion or anything like that but like you're a wrestling fan growing up at all to an extent not not like one of the big wrestling guys like i mean the same thing you gotta look to look at this life, this content life like wrestling, bro. You need a baby face. You need to heal. And the people that are in between aren't surviving. Yeah. So if you've got the whole crowd fucking hating you, you're only one little storyboard turn away from the whole crowd loving you.

But you can't – I think authenticity or being genuine is better than that. And like I don't want to be the bad guy. Like I'm not trying – I'm just like telling you what I think authenticity or being genuine is better than that. And, like, I don't want to be the bad guy. Like, I'm not trying. I'm just, like, telling you what I think. And if you disagree, that's fine. But, like, I'm not going to, like, be, like, you know what opinion will piss people off. I think it's different in, like, when you're doing comedy versus, like, we're just talking. Sure.

Right? So I'm not going to give you a fake opinion. I think I know. But I think it's more about, like, not care, not letting it affect you as much as, like, I think it's more about like not care, not letting it affect you as much as like – I think it's disingenuous. But people always say that. I hate that. Well, I'll say this.

You got to have thick skin. It affects you. It affects you. To authenticity, you can be the bad guy if you're – if that's what your authenticity is telling you and i'll say this like in in the world of golf um i'm the bad guy and i think like my my group uh of friends like my podcast country club adjacent is a bad guy to a lot of this old establishment because we're presenting ourselves um as like hey you can respect the card girl but still not tuck your shirt in and it's okay but to the industry of golf that's the bad guy yeah yeah i'm the bad guy

they all hate me they all do not like us and and i will wear that crown until the culture changes and now when it turns now i'm the baby face i i that i agree with 100 if it's what you genuinely yes but you're like uncomfortable on the course being like fuck i wish my shirt was tucked in yeah then like then don't do that yeah but yeah if it i i think just be who you are like i hate because you can tell too people like they're just trying to be a dick yeah 100 bro that shit sucks that's not authentic yeah that that that shit where you're like trying to get a rise out of people, that's gross, bro. That's gross to me. That's what I was trying to say.

Yeah, that's gross. I don't want – I'm not actively trying to be the bad guy. Yeah, if I have a genuine opinion and it pisses people off, I'll stick with it. I'll be like, yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like, you know. Bro, for 10 years, people were like, Fast and Furious is good. I'm like, oh, man, I enjoy the fucking movie.

I'm going to tell you. Hey, Too Fast and Furious, one of the best movies of our time. Hey, Pockets Ain't Empty, cuz. Yo, Ejecto Cito. Ejecto Cito, bro. And Godfather is a horrible movie, bro. You know what I'm saying? These are just facts.

Just facts. Facts. All right, bro. How long has that shit it's facts all right bro well how long has that hair been growing years bro i had to do this because i'm so fucking handsome it's great hair so you gotta i was just sitting here i was like damn he's handsome that's with the hair bro yeah no i appreciate that wait by the way before we let you go i i want to do one more question about trump what he was cool with the raid stuff? Eh. I'll say this.

Eric Trump fucks with us tough, bro. Shout out Eric Trump, bro. That's the homie. Have you heard, what's her name, Laura Trump? Yeah. Eric Trump's wife. She's great, too. She's upset that they're shadow banning her new song. Oh, yeah?

On Apple and Spotify. Oh, yeah? On Apple and Spotify. Oh, really? And she's talking about why it's happening is because she's... It's anti-conservative stuff, right? Yeah. Oh, it's anti-conservative stuff. So she put out this new single and they're like, it's shadow banning. It's hard to find on Apple.

Oh, she's rapping anti-conservatively? No, she is. It's a new single she put out. Bro, none of this is going to matter when I fucking play it. Well, I won't back down. No, I won't back down.

She's doing Tom Petty. You can stand me up at the gates of... Tom Petty's dead. It's just Tom Petty's fucking song. Yeah. No one's putting it out because you just stole somebody's song, bitch.

That's nothing to do with politics or shadow banning. You can't just steal songs. Yeah, bro. And no one's listening to my new podcast called KFC Radio. I don't fucking understand it. You think that there's a country club adjacent and foreplay collab potential? I mean, bro. I do know a lot of people tried to eat off them for a lot of shit.

Oh, yeah. 100%. I know they have their guard up because there have been people who have just straight up used the brand and then fuck off. Well, hey, if you look at us, we don't really need help. We're doing our own thing. We're doing pretty fucking good. We're big fans of foreplay and uh you know we've said some rigs i'm sure there was some rigs fire but who doesn't say some rigs fire you know like come on man i'm a big frankie barelli fan i big

i've been i've been a day one listener of the foreplay pod and we're only we're only looking for a match because they're doing the same shit they're doing youtube matches they're calling themselves the best scramble team in golf and i'm here to say that's cat bro that is cat you're looking at a homeless guy that can fucking eat eat frankie borelli up oh boy eat frank and that dude got a fucking club sponsorship. There's no, like I'm trying to call out. We're not trying to get call out thirsty.

It's a friendly match. We're in the same fucking world. We're doing the same thing and we're fans. And we get a lot of messages saying challenge for play to a match. And we're, we're, we're ready, bro.

We're ready. Whenever they want, whatever they want, their turf, their rules, their turf, their rules for the content, bro. We're ready whenever they want, whatever they want. Their turf, their rules. I would love to see that. Their turf, their rules. Just for the content, man. I don't give a fuck about golf,

but I just want to see all those personalities together. It would be great content, bro. It would be great content. And that's all we're in it for, bro. Great content. And these guys are kind of like the big brothers. And sometimes the big brothers got to look out for the little brothers in order for them not to seem like, hey, man, we're the only ones doing it. You're not the only ones doing it, bro.

I think you and Frankie together would be great. Oh, my God. I think Frankie from – I'm a big Frankie fan. I've been listening to foreplay since day one. When he gets going – I'm like, this guy's a comedian, bro. He's got a comic brain.

I have told him, I said, listen, you're on a magic carpet ride in the golf world. Like, obviously don't fuck that up. But when he comes on this show, I mean, it's like I'm crying. He's got a comedian's brain. The way he riffs. And the way, like, when you get him going, you get him going if you tell him some shit like you know there's more trees on the planet

than there are fucking stars in the sky he's like what do you mean his brain starts to fry he is just so fucking funny I was like

it's the same thing we got the spitting shitless guy who do hockey and they're great at talking hockey I'm like you guys are better

when you're talking about this shit and Frankie's that way I've seen him on other shows and he just got that brain bro and you know we're just better than them at golf Yeah, and Frankie's that way. Like I've seen him on other shows and like he just got that brain, bro. And, you know, like we're just better than them at golf.

I'd actually like to see because I think you and Frankie would have fun. And I've never golfed with Riggs, but the stories I hear, I think Riggs would lose his fucking mind. Oh, yeah. People that are good at golf play with us and we're not going to talk in going to talk in your backswing but we are going to mentally fuck you thanks guys thanks for having me on appreciate it សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.