KFC Radio - Megan Fox May Have F***ed Timothee Chalamet and Harry Styles Ft. Steve Fury

Episode Date: February 16, 2023

- No surprise, Feits is gassy due to a large amount of food he ate the night before - Tickets for our 2023 tour are now live! - Feits conducts a brief experiement (kinda) - Tom Brady mentions Janet Jackson's nip slip on a pod - MGK and Megan Fox breakup and it somehow invovles Harry Styles, Timothee Chalemet, and Eminem - Mischief boots... stylish or not? - Olivia Wilde backlash for calling ASAP Rocky hot - The Last of Us and Black Bird Review - Valentines Day recap - Who's The Biggest A**hole - Steve Furey Interview Preview +++++++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 00:00:00 Feits is gassy 00:06:03 Tickets for Live Shows! 00:09:23 Feits' experiment 00:16:14 Tom Brady mentions Janet Jackson's nip slip on a pod 00:23:35 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNWrKTjuM-E 00:24:07 MGK and Megan Fox breakup 00:32:31 Mischief boots... stylish or not? 00:36:56 Olivia Wilde backlash for calling ASAP Rocky hot 00:40:05 The Last of Us and Black Bird Review 00:49:46 Valentines Day recap 01:01:38 Who's The Biggest A**hole 01:41:09 Steve Furey Interview Preview +++++++++++++++++++++++++ Betterhelp: This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Go to https://barstool.link/BHKFC for 10% off your first monthYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. That is the realest shit I ever wrote. From her line to his line. What's up, Chicken Heads? KFC Radio Live is coming to a stage near you. April 26th, we're at the Houston Improv. April 27th, we're in Dallas, Texas at the Addison Improv. And on April 29th, we're in Austin

at the Moon Tower Comedy. So that's going to be a great weekend in Texas. In May, we're coming back to Boston, back to Wilbur where we belong. On May 12th, you can get tickets to the Wilbur. And May 14th, just a couple days after that, we'll be in Stanford, Connecticut for all you Northeast chickenheads.

Get your tickets now. Things are selling out fast. Well, let's begin. It's another edition of KFC Radio. Oh, I have an experiment I want to do on the show today too. Okay. It's the day after Valentine's Day. Also gas.

Can I tell you why I have gas too? I wonder why. You probably stuffed something in your fucking gullet that's not right for you. Do you have a gallon of milk? You're lactose intolerant. Did you have something you have an allergy to? Did you eat 3x the amount of something you should eat?

There it is! There it is! Those are like the three options. I don't want to say the sponsor's name Because I don't know if they're going to even like this So we have a new sponsor coming up That does food stuff And I got a bunch of food sent to my house

And You just ate all of it Kevin, I had four dinners last night You got tapeworm, bro You got a tapeworm in there I legit had four dinners Like full entree size? Full on dinners.

Why? Were you high? Yeah. Of course. That'll do it. When you're high, it's like your body just does not turn off. And I was like, these are healthy. I also had four smoothies with it.

It was six meals with six smoothies. I whacked four meals and four smoothies. And that's supposed to last you the week? A week. And it lasted you a night? It lasted me maybe three hours. That's so much liquid. Like fruit smoothies?

Yeah. I had two Tropical Punch, one strawberry and banana, one mango. And you're just like sucking them down? No, they're in like the green juice shakers. They're in one of those. They're a little thicker than the green juice. Even worse. You're gobbling it down. No, no, no. I mean, they're not as thick as what you think a smoothie is.

But they're thicker than a green juice. They're in those same green juice type containers. It's like you're just drinking a lot of pulp, basically. No, they're very blended. Honestly, it was all really good. That's why I ate so much of it. All different? All the same? All different.

All different. Had a chili. Had a chicken with cheese. Had a chicken with jalapenos. And then had like a, it wasn't a meatloaf, but it was called a, some kind of, no, it wasn't a shepherd's pie. It was like a gardener's pie or something like that. It was basically. Shepherd's pie. Shepherd's pie. It was like a gardener's pie or something like that. But it was basically...

A shepherd's pie. A shepherd's pie, yeah. Shepherd's pie. So underrated. Flames. One of the most underrated meals in the game. You're disgusting, you know what I mean? Like, what do you want to say?

You're a fucking animal. And then what happened? You've just been farting ever since? Like, yeah. Woke myself up farting twice. Like, I did one thing. Like, I woke myself up. Jesus, I don't fart. Like, from the a good one thing. Like, I woke up and I was like, Jesus, I don't have a fart.

Like, from the smell or from the rumble? From the rumble. Actually, one of them was very helpful. It got me to bed. I've had falling asleep on the couch. So you just feel like your cheeks wiggle? I think it's the sound. I'm like, what's the house?

I'm not going to leave you hanging. I've done that. It's alarming. It's alarming, and then it's the funniest thing in the world. When you said it sounds like fireworks from another town over, I think it sounds like the last kernels of popcorn in the microwave. They're so sporadic. You think it's done, and then there's another.

You go to grab it. That is so goddamn funny. You are so goddamn gross. I know. I know. You're not getting fat. That's nice. I think I am, but that's nice.

We all think we are, but but on the outside we're all the same okay you know all right that's good you're not getting like i eat four meals of dinner fat i don't eat i'm actually really if you think about it what i'm doing is fucking uh people and i intermittent fasting intermittent fasting yeah that's why it's just bullshit i don't eat all day and i just eat 10 000 000 bro i know plenty of people who do that they're called busy people yeah like they're not is you're not some fucking trainer you're not some like yoga nutritionist i wake up in the morning i don't have breakfast because i'm an idiot i get to work we start the podcast at 11. I don't stop until like 5. I go home.

I eat. It's like, okay, it's been like 18 hours since I ate. And then I stuff my face. And guess what? That's not a diet. That's just I couldn't – I don't have the time during the day to eat regularly. So I stuff my face at night. It's a little bit easier to say intermittent fasting than I don't have the time to eat regular meals. So I stuff my face at night.

But that's really what it's called. I'm such a child that I eat and I eat so intermittently that I often don't even realize I haven't eaten until I'll be talking to my mother on the phone. Yes, all the time. I'm like, ah, fucking shit. It's like Frank the Tank forgetting his birthday. I'll go. I'll start. I'll smoke when I get home. And I'll be like, oh, no.

Like, I'll know what's about to come. I'll be like, oh no! I'll know what's about to come. Oh shit! This makes me hungry anyway and I haven't eaten. This is going to be a problem. I'll order from two separate places. I'm going to want a bagel right now. Maybe some Cuban food after? God, you're disgusting. Yeah.

So, a couple things to take care of. Our tickets are on sale for our live show right now. Tickets available for every show, but limited for all of them. So none of them are sold out, but all of them are. It's actually quite nice. I feel good right now because you guys, it's like, who's the person? You like us. You really like us.

Yeah. All the shows are almost sold out, so if you want to come to Houston, Dallas, Austin, Boston, or Stanford, Houston the 26th, Dallas the 27th. Of April. Of April. Yeah. Houston the 26th of April, Dallas the 27th of April, Austin the 29th of April, Boston May 12th, Stanford May 14th. They're all doing well.

So funny. John was like, have you heard from anybody about our ticket numbers? And I was like, no, not yet. He goes, oh, that's not good. And I was like, yeah, you're probably right. And then Nick was like, no, no. I looked. They're almost all sold out.

Instantly, John's entire demeanor changes. And it's not like he walked around moping like, yo, I don't think our tickets are selling. He was just holding that on the inside being his normal self and then when he heard the the opposite just so happy which is actually something we we the the royal we of the irish catholic do like we're holding shit in and not nobody knows yeah yeah and then when you find out tight like. Yeah, real tight. Put it right in my asshole. You're not getting out.

But then when we find out good news, you're like, oh, my God. And people are like, wait, what? Were you – was everything okay? He's like, oh, no, I was crippled on the inside. I was emotionally, like, broken for the last week or so. You didn't know? You know in Star Wars when they're in the fucking garbage bin?

That's it. That's what my life is. When the walls are just closing in. And then you find out that it's like... The button's right here. Oh, alright. Get those tickets.

I'm very excited now. I was scared. Now I'm happy. Let's do it. Let's have some fun. Steve Fury is on the show today. Scoop of Steve Fury. One of the funniest guys that you probably maybe have not heard of yet.

And I say that in the most respectful way because we talked to Steve about how he should be right up there with anybody selling theaters and maybe hopefully one day arenas. He is so goddamn funny. So he's on the show for a good hour and a half. We chopped it up. He's incredibly funny. So funny. He had an ATI. When is that going to come out, Nick?

I think we're going to move that to next week. Okay, so Tuesday? Yeah. Tuesday of next week, ATI Steve Fury was a good old-fashioned answer the fucking internet. The ones that we did pre-pandemic, where it was like

fucking original and funny and good banter between us, and he would take the extra step and go the extra mile. Really, really, really funny. So Steve's on the show. We'll do voicemails, of course. I have an experiment I want

to do. Right. I was going to say we'll get into some one-minutemanship, but John wants to do an experiment. Well, it's not an experiment because this is going to have to be like an edited thing. I also, I really I didn't realize it until I put my feet up earlier. We were watching a video. I tweeted it yesterday, if you guys saw it.

It is the Crypto song. It's fucking funny. So fucking funny. When I put my feet up, I realized, like, and I often dress outlandishly. But today I am, like, particularly in, like, I'm Frankenstein today. I have a Too Fast Too Furious jacket on which is super fire though

this is fucking flame city dude what is it like a fake driving jacket I don't dude I don't racing jacket

I don't even know cause it looks like a NASCAR jacket yeah but obviously looks like something Alex Bennett's gonna steal um

um but it's got like it's got like sponsors on it and shit Wearing Sour Patch Kids socks SBK, you know what And an old 1996 hat They're all individually fired

Together it's all a bit much Well like you said, what's the Larry David thing You should always wear one thing that pops You got three on And if those jeans hug a little tighter You're going to be showing off a fourth My son comes to me. Not wearing underwear today.

That's why. Not even jocked up? Not even – I couldn't even do a jock today. What? I just – With jeans? It was – I just never know what's going on.

I'm just always like, what's he going to do next? Me and John are on the same wavelength today. It's like I've been doing that all morning. What, the huh or the naked underneath? Because I smoked a ton. Oh, no, I'm actually wearing my girlfriend's running shorts. Whoa. It was about to get weird.

I'll take things you should have said out loud for 100 hours. I was out of underwear, too, but these are like spandex shorts. If he said my girlfriend's underwear, I think it was more normal than what he said. Wearing your girlfriend's running shorts? Like you have a pair of Spanx on. Let me see these. Take your pants off. This is crazy, right?

Oh, shit. We just lost control of this. One sec. Let me put on. That to me. She has no idea I stole these. It's getting weirder, folks. It's just black spandex shorts.

It's just black spandex. And they fit. It's like compression shorts. Oh, no. They don't fit. Things are snug. I was picturing. We have a real underwear crisis

In this studio Big time Let's just all Like this is all heading Towards us wearing Women's underwear Let's just cut to the Fucking chase

And start cross-jessing If we had like If we could maybe Get Like we order Amazon Prime A couple pairs of underwear We just leave them up there

That would be pretty ideal That would be That would be Oh to have some backups? It would be beneficial for me some days. I just come in and I'm like, you know what? I got my pants at the office. Right, right, right. So what's your experiment? Oh, okay. Fine. I have a theory.

Everyone's got to come put on music. Jackie, start with you. Come here. Come here, guinea pig. You have to put on this song. I have a theory that there's no way to dance to this song aside from one way. And

I'm going to have to set it up to the right part. This is going to take a while. So you just want me to feel the music? You got to feel the music. You got to feel it sitting down? What? You got to feel it sitting down? What? You gonna feel it sitting down? Why can't I hear you that well? Because of noise canceling.

It's so weird. What? Jackie. Now I can hear you. Yeah. No, you can't. Jackie is in a world of wonder right now. Like she's in Willy Wonka's factory.

It is funny because women can't wear noise canceling headphones. You got to hear everything coming up behind you. Me on the other hand, I'm like, I don't need to hear that. Walking down the block. Yeah, I don't recommend them. Alright, ready? alright ready this isn't going the way I thought it was going to go

dance to it alright experiment over I just don't know how to dance to that but I like that whatever that was it's really aggressive it's a new song I found

and I have a theory the only way you can dance to it is like a Nazi how do Nazis dance? I don't know so I walk down the street or I walk around my apartment with this on. Jackie passed the test.

She did not dance like a Nazi. I'll give it to you. Now that you say that, I actually got to see what you mean. Like goose step? The way it feels. I'll show you. The way it feels. I think I'm dancing.

Whoa. Whoa. That's not what I was You're crumping too hard again bro I go to my apartment Like kicking I'm like And that feels like how

Is that what Nazis do? Like modern Nazis I thought Nazis Like step No I wasn't talking about The goose step I was talking like A modern Nazi

Like a Like a Modern Nazis kick like step. No, I wasn't talking about the goose step. I was talking like a modern Nazi like a like a Modern Nazis kick like that? They're just very aggressive. I guess it's kind of like

I can see what you mean by like sharp like like angry like It looks like a lane dance. It does.

That was kicks in the jerks. Hey, I'm going to do it for you now. I can see the kicking. Yeah, you feel a little Nazi-ish. It's very sharp. It's very aggressive and angry.

I don't know if this band would like you saying they make Nazi music. No, I like the band very much. I don't think their beliefs are really rooted in Nazism. You know what I like, by the way, real quick? Let me see those headphones. We're not sponsored by headphones right now, are we? Not currently. You see that?

See that right there? Every fucking headphones should just have, in giant goddamn letters, right or left. Why? When they put, like, a little black on black L, I'm like, eh. Or it's underneath or whatever the fuck. It's just like, as you're putting them on, every single time,

we're going to switch it because you fucking see a giant R or L. There's no reason to hide that shit in between the cushions or on some button or whatever. Make it easy for me. So stupid. All right, let's do some pop culture stuff. Tom Brady on his podcast, I guess, said that Janet Jackson flashing that nippy nip was probably a good thing for the NFL. Reporters were asking me about that, and I couldn't even understand what they were telling me about. They were like, did you see the halftime show?

I said, no, I didn't see anything. I was thinking about the game, and I was trying to figure out halftime adjustments. I don't think I even realized that was in a Pats game. It took a while for us to figure out what had gone on. That's for the fans and not for the players. He then said, I think in the end it was probably a good thing for the NFL because everyone got to talk about it and it was just more publicity and more publicity for the halftime shows.

Is any publicity bad publicity? That's what they say. So who knows? For the NFL, I guess, yeah, you could probably say that. Janet Jackson would probably wholeheartedly disagree. But also, I mean, it was Janet's decision. Yeah. I don't think she would play victim.

It wasn't an actual wardrobe malfunction. It was something they decided to do. I think she wouldn't play the victim. I think she would just say. It wasn't an actual wardrobe malfunction. It was something they decided to do. I think she wouldn't play the victim. I think she would just say, was this a good thing? No. It's like when we talked to Shane about SNL and he's like, no, no, no. I would rather have just had the job. It's like, oh, no, Janet, that was good.

Everyone was talking about you, right? No, no, no. I was fucking harassed and victimized. I also think Shane would change that opinion now. Now. I agree with that. I remember when he said that and I was like, give it a minute. Yeah.

And then, I mean, recently Justin Timberlake pseudo-apologized because he just let Janet Jackson flounder in the way for a long time. Because she told him to. Did she? Yeah. She said in her documentary. I called him. I said, they're blaming me.

Fine. No reason to ruin your career, too. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Interesting. I didn't know that part I thought you meant

she called him and said you need to apologize to me no no no because like this past year he kind of apologized yeah I think I mean I think they're making a bigger deal

what a fucking gangster Janet Jackson I didn't see the documentary I just remember hearing that so if I'm misquoting it I apologize but I think she's something effective

where I was like I called Justin and I was like do not get involved. I wholeheartedly know I would do that, too. What? I would absolutely do the same thing. Yeah.

It's like, yeah, I'm taking the heat. Whatever. Yeah. I would make an effort. No reason for everyone to go down. Right. Right. Now, I also think if I was Justin Timberlake and somebody made that call, I think I would then still stick up for them.

Yeah, probably. Because when someone faces you down with, like, I will ruin my career for this, and you just take that. It depends on things we'll never know. Like, was this all Janet's idea? Right. Well, right. She was like, yo, put my nipple out. And then he was like, I don't really think that's a good idea.

She's like, do it, bitch. Then, yeah. All right, fine. Yeah, you can wear all that. And also, it's easier for Janet. Like, imagine if it was like, I don't really think that's a good idea. She's like, do it, bitch. Then, yeah. I'm like, all right, fine. Yeah, you can wear all that. And also, it's easier for Janet. Like, imagine if it was like, yo, whip my cock out. Yeah, forget it. The police would have him off the stage.

And it's also easy for Janet Jackson, a fucking icon who had probably, you know, hundreds of millions of dollars by that point. Not to say that Justin was no slouch, but still, to say, like, I got this. Don't worry about it, you know? But, man, what a weird. This controversy is on me. Like, what a wacky little mark on the calendar. Yeah.

Like, if you were to go through, like, pop culture, that would be on the calendar. I would, like, delineate, like, boom. And then Jen's nipple came out, and then we went on to this and that. When I got caught having a party in high school, I had this party in high school where like it was it was chaos it was like like the party didn't stop for like a week like i had friends just living in my parents so it was because i went to a different school than my siblings who were in public school they were in like a you know the regular february school system like february vacation right and so my parents and my family all went up to Sutton Mountain, Canada. And I was living with my grandfather.

And I was like – I told all my friends who were like in public school. I abandoned you all the time. So many times. Just like, see you, John. And I had all my friends who were in public school. I was a sophomore in high school, I think. And I just called all my boys and I was like yo open house let's go open house for a week and i would like sneak out of my grandpa's house to get like which wasn't particularly close to my house have

like someone pick me up i go party the house we had i like dude it was it was like i remember one time my aunt just came home like my friends were just sitting in the living room. They're like, how the fuck did you get in here? What is going on? But when my parents came home, there were many pieces of evidence that they were at a party. It was also – it was some fucked up shit where like all the kids who were my age on the Canada trip got caught throwing a party. And my parents were like, we're so proud of you. Not you, John. And I was like, whoa. Oh, we're so proud of you. Ah, not you, John.

And I was like, whoa. Oh, boy. You guys are going to be upset when you get home. Did you know you were going down? Bro, we lost a gerbil. We lost, like, I didn't find out about this until later. But my mom, like, one of my mom's, like, diamond rings were gone. Oh, shit.

Stolen? We, I think some girl was just wearing it. We found it, like, under a couch. Like, I think some girl was just wearing it because we found it under a couch. I think some girl was just wearing it around. They were just raiding my parents' jewelry. And then the hamster or gerbil, whatever it was, we found in a wall.

We could hear it crawling. It was in a wall. We'd always hear it. I think my dad unscrewed one of the fucking outlets and just held a spoon of peanut butter there for like hours until the thing came out um but i the all this like makes me think of it is because the other thing that uh they knew when they came home that i had never i didn't even catch that cleaned up but i didn't even catch was that like on the kitchen table like we had open i think it was

rolling stone magazine just a janet's tip. And we were just passing around having beers. Like, let me see that nip. Let me see that nip. You know what's funny? I don't think I've ever seen the sun since. That's what it was, right? It was like a piece of jewelry that was the sun in the middle. Nipple piercing, right?

Was it a piercing? I think it was a piercing. But it was big. Well, yeah. Oh, yeah. Huge. So her nipple was holding that up? I think so. Pull her up. Pull her up. Let's big. Oh, yeah. So her nipple was holding that up? I think so.

Pull her up. Pull her up. Let's see. Because you would think that's one of those things where people are like, I got it. Like the next day you hear the news being like, and now the sun nipples are sold out everywhere. It didn't really hit like that.

What a fuck. It really was a move to just yoink that thing. Do you even, like Jackie Pabst, do you even know this? I mean, I know, but I haven't heard of it. Yeah, but you never saw it like that even close, right? Isn't this the origin of the word nip slip? Nah, can't be. That's a good question.

I don't think. This was the origin of wardrobe malfunction. Oh, that was it. That's for sure. That's for sure the beginning of that. When you watch it, I hadn't seen it in so long, to say this was a wardrobe malfunction is crazy town.

She even goes, like, come on. Why did they stage it? Just to be like, let's do something wild and show some titties. Nowadays, it would be like... This is where Nip Slip started. Nip Slip started?

That's not a Nip Slip that's a full on titty out Yeah I think they just didn't know how to say it on like the news Also a Nip Slip is like what Jackie does every day

this is like a fucking you know Nip Rip this is like rip my clothes off in front of the world was that that was blurred out there

press pause that's not I don't think that's blurred out But I can't really see I had this vision of like a brass Like No the sun's right but you've just seen that in pictures or something We never saw that live on broadcast You know it's funny like

This is a 2004 Super Bowl I don't think I ever put together The Pats were playing in the Super Bowl Look at Timberlake's pants. Those are great. Just an all-timer. Anyway, I don't even know why. Oh, because of Tom Brady.

MGK and Megan Fox broke up a little while ago. We're a little late to that. Are we late? I just found out today. Oh, yeah, I know we're late. That was a couple of days ago. Oh, maybe yesterday I found out. A couple of days ago. It, maybe yesterday I found out. A couple of days ago.

It might have been over the weekend. But as the quintessential, we have been in toxic relationships. Let me tell you something. If at any point you declare yourself a twin flame and say that you're so connected sexually and emotionally that you're soulmates, you're going to break up. And you're going to break up pretty fast. That is a fact, Jack.

I saw – yeah, that's obvious. That's like – no, that's – you're trying to prove something to us. Oh, they reunited. Okay, great. But they – Sure. Last I saw is they reunited at their therapist's office. That's also, you're done.

Bro, can you... You're going to walk out of there and it's going to go right back to what it was. See you later. But can you imagine being the counselor who has to watch these two walk in? These two fucking assholes. And be like, you don't even... We are not starting with your marriage. You have so much other shit.

We've got to go like 30 years back. You're like, okay, Megan, you were like sexualized on the movie set when you were fucking 15. Let's start there. Coulson, you know, your mother died. Like there's so much shit that needs to be discussed. I'm going to start with like what made you put on these clothes today? We have an eternity's worth of stuff to get through god damn

she should have just stayed but also her gangster and I hate to say this is a gangster move because I'm sure people have done it to me or people have done things like so petty and so rude to me she was the queen of petty in this breakup. She –

The follows? The follows. It was – Harry Styles. So she broke up with him, unfollowed everybody on Instagram except for three people. Deleted all his pictures. Deleted all the pictures together. They unfollowed each other.

Which I think is – I think if you're deleting pictures in a breakup, that is the telltale sign that you care too much. You lost because you care more. The only time I think you should do it is if it's like a dual thing, like if somehow you both agree upon it. Like let's both delete our shit. I think it's – I don't know. I guess it's because I don't really use like Instagram that much. Like I've dated girls who are like, do you want me to go delete the picture?

I was like, I don't give a fuck. Yeah. I think that's like, yeah, no, you date. I didn't fucking pick you up from the virgin farm. You're an adult woman. I have a feeling you've dated people before. Let me tell you something. I wouldn't go near the virgin farm.

Fuck that. I'm going down the block to the slut farm Way before I'm going to the virgin farm But it's like I'm like no Don't delete pictures of your ex-boyfriends I'm not going to scroll 60 weeks back I can't imagine how many people are It's a weird move to even do that

But you know what The next girl and the next people will Those fucking weirdos What do you mean? The next person in your toxic relationship Is going to scroll 60 weeks back Why are these pictures still up? But the

I think Because that's the The part of winning a breakup isn't like putting on Facebook like you in the club with a chick. It's not fucking – like it's not – I don't think it's like making them cry more or you like getting money or whatever. Whenever people talk about like winning the breakup, like I think it's just like it's caring less. Like you didn't say anything about me. You don't talk about winning the breakup, I think it's just caring less. You didn't say anything about me. You don't talk about

me. And it could be fake. You might be like, I want to post this so bad. And you don't. But the worst thing that you can do to somebody is just be like, what? Oh, you're gone. Yeah. You lost me. No, I didn't go delete our pictures. I don't fucking care that much. You care too much.

You lose. That's a universal rule. If you care, you lose. I would imagine, I don't know how many she followed, but unfollowing a whole bunch of people, you've got to suck. You've got to sit there, boop, boop, boop. Even if it's a few dozen, a couple hundred.

I imagine she had an assistant handle that one. You're right, you're right. But anyway, so she unfollowed everybody and the only people she followed were Eminem, which makes sense. Like, remember that guy

who fucking made you switch genres? Follow him. Then Harry Styles, which I feel that's like Megan Fox either fucked Harry Styles or really, really, really wants to fuck Harry Styles and then

a little icing on the cake here a little cherry on top Timothee Chalamet Timothee Chalamet I don't know have we gotten to the bottom of that has anybody said anything with those

like Harry Styles is up in everybody I'm gonna go fuck Dune Boy Pat, has anybody said anything with those? It's a hot piece of ass, dude. Like, Harry Styles is up in everybody. I'm going to go fuck Dune Boy. I was thinking to myself, like, did Megan Fox fuck Harry Styles? Did Timothy Chalamet fuck Megan Fox? No, no, Megan Fox fucked him. Oh, yeah. That's for sure.

That's Amazon style at the very least, if not football. Him and Harry are fucking catching it. Oh, maybe that's it. Maybe he was a threesome with Harry Styles, Timothee Chalamet, and Megan Fox, which is... Megan Fox strapped up, probably. Totally. Oh, I thought that was... Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

She fucked them, for sure. Their dicks did not go inside anything other than maybe each other. Megan Fox did not get penetrated. She fucked Timothee Chalamet to the moon and back and then was like, all right, Harry, let me break this off for you too. No doubt about it. Now kiss. But whatever that is, that's drive mgk crazy yeah i think it was real he said like i love to picture them just fighting about damn it you followed timothy shall we bang but even like

even before that following is they had some argument that she was like i'm gonna file that away for later and uh you know that like... What do you think it was? You think it was like something like Megan Fox has fucked one of them before and he's jealous? Or like MGK just like doesn't like Timothee Chalamet

because of like his body of work and his style and stuff. I think both of them are like... That's even funnier. Because I think both of them are kind of more renowned in their fields of work.

Yeah. Whereas MGK is kind of, I don't know. I don't dislike MGK. I think his persona has gone way overboard. But the music, I thought, I liked Tickets to My Downfall. I didn't really listen to the other one. Tickets to My Downfall was, I think, a really, I don't want to say great album because that's reserved. I think it was really, really good, though.

I listened to Tickets to My Downfall a was a little kid. I liked a lot. A lot. I liked a lot of the songs. It's one of the few albums in like the last decade because everyone does singles and shit. Yeah. I really rarely,

even Kanye, Drake, all these people, their full albums to me are never really that good. That was, if you like punk music, it was like hit, hit, hit, hit, which also makes sense

because Travis Barker wrote and played and signed on like a lot of them So it's like half a Blink album Which is why Blink is back They were like whoa Enough of that Don't show them that there's a formula to this But that album

And his Status His like where he was at in life in that moment was good. He was, like, a little bit humbled, trying a new thing. Remember he told that story about moving into the new neighborhood and trying to make friends. Yeah, yeah. Being polite. And then I think that sold well and he got cocky and then he went overboard.

But also, like, can't knock the hustle. Like, go fucking rock star. Wear the crazy clothes. Smash the guitar in the middle of star wear the crazy clothes smash the guitar in the middle of the street when you're at the mvm i don't know the fuck you know he like bottled himself at one point crazy shit and also when you start fucking megan fox it's like you know you can't you can't just be like a normal dude because that's my girl megan it's just gonna be crazy you guys gonna like light each other on Suck each other's dicks and stuff.

That's just how it goes. Whoever was leading all the talk in that relationship, the other one has to just be like, that one got away from me. For real. For real. What do you think of the mischief boots, John? Don't tell me you'd wear them.

No, of course I wouldn't wear them I can't say I have much of an opinion on it If you had those with this fit right now I'll tell you what If you had those in Amsterdam It would have been dope If your something red was a pair of the mischief boots If you don't know what we're talking about

This company or this brand mischief They come out of Brooklyn They're kind of like fashion house but they're also more like artwork because these things are meant to be a little more like art than like everyday wear. They made these gigantic red rubber boots that retail for like $4,500. They look like, some people said Astro Boy from anime. Other people said it looks like Dora the Explorer. Just gigantic red rubber boots.

If you wear those, like Seth Rollins from the WWE wore them in the ring, and his character is like, I'm an over-the-top asshole, all good. If you wear those being like, look how ridiculous I am, all good. If you strut into the arena or to the bar or to the wherever being like, yo, I got my mischief boots on. You're a dumb dickhead. See, but I'll say this about them. And they're just like the perfect example of like marketing and advertising. And like they gave them to a bunch of fucking influencers.

Influencers. They're hard to get. They're expensive. They're scarce. $350. I was honestly expecting more. Oh, what was that? $4, they're hard to get. They're expensive. They're scarce. $350. I was honestly expecting more. Oh, what was that? $4,500.

Retail. Oh, retail. Retail was $350? Got it. So if you could get these in retail, which I believe they were probably very hard because it was mostly like friends and family getting gifted, but you could buy them for $350. They're going on the secondary market for like $4,000. It's crazy how people are like, how are these selling? I don't know.

Have you heard of marketing? It's fucking – they're a lesson in virality. But I will say – It's absolutely a lesson in like Emperor's New Clothes where it's like this is just deemed like this is going to be the thing. A couple of people buy into it and say, look how silly this is and it's the thing. See, I – so Janelle Mona, I don't think really does, but I think Google, the first Google page you put up, I actually think

that most of the people who are wearing them are wearing them pretty well. Don't say it. That's wisdom. Wisdom can dress fucking anything. That dude's a fucking gangster. If you don't follow Wisdom on Instagram, you're missing out.

That dude can wear fucking He is a gangster at wrestling But I actually think Diplo looks alright here They actually don't look as bad I wouldn't wear them But I'm surprised at how many people I'm like oh They're actually going to pull that off I guess so

I guess so I don't know man the the uh right like it's shay gill they're but that's also the point like they sent them to people who can't pull them off so everyone you see like oh and actually the girls look a little like they just look like oversized uh uggs a little bit the guys i think look like there was the one with, like, I think it was Lil Wayne in them. I mean, he's wearing it with a skirt. It's all, like, crazy outfits, but they... Yeah.

But that's also because he's wearing, like, a yellow skirt. Go to Shea Gilgis Alexander. He wore skinny jeans and, jeans and a shirt. I was just like, I don't know, man. I think that looks ridiculous.

I think you look goofy as fuck. I think we've got to get our hands on the credit. Well, they remind me very much of Big Baller Brand. I just completely sewered them on the internet, so they probably won't send me any. They're just the same guys that made the Jesus Air Max with the holy water in the bubble. Remember that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's-his-face made the devil ones and they made the Jesus ones. They also are responsible for the ATM that had ranked everybody's net worth. Oh, really? Yeah. So these guys, they are like attention. They do shit to be like artsy and this is how avant-garde fashion and shit works. I wonder what it is. Lana Rose was wearing them.

Guess what? Lana Rose was good in them. They're smart about who they send them to. They send them to people who look good in them. Yeah. I mean, Lana is... She can wear whatever the fuck she wants. That's a fact.

Of all the things in life, one of the best things is getting high whenever you want, wherever you want, however you want, and getting the perfect high. And that is what 3Chi does where you get – you can do it anytime because this is legal and you can order it. 3Chi from the internet comes to your house. You'll always have it on you. You can do it however you want because we can go from vape pens to drink powders, oils, edibles, everything in between, gummies, the whole nine. And it's the best high you'll ever get because it's not going to hit you with that paranoia.

You're not going to be overwhelmed by it because they have now perfected the THC high with Delta 9 edibles, Delta 9 products. 3C used to have Delta 8, which was a chemical compound of THC. Now they've upped it to Delta 9, which is just that much better. It's that much longer, less paranoia, less sluggishness, more of an enjoyable buzz. They have perfected it with all the different products and all the different cannabis lines. But right now, when you go to 3chi.com, you're going to get the highest in purity, taste, and craveable, that craveable potent buzz. And you can get a 15% discount when you use promo code KFC15. That's 3chi.com, the number 3, chi.com

and use promo code KFC15 to get 15% off your order. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please use responsibly and remember everything is made in the USA, grown in the USA hemp plant and it's the most American thing to get your weed, get your

THC high on here in the good old US of a so olivia wilde is getting shit from like everybody i should say mostly women on the internet she posted a picture of asap rocky filming rihanna as she performed and he she said if i thought he was hot before this really put me over the edge now knowing that the idea is at least that olivia wilde cheated uh jason sudeikis with harry styles and there was some relationship wrecking and stuff i think some people don't like that about her but the female response was like this is so inappropriate leave them alone like what are you doing this is so inappropriate. Leave them alone. What are you doing? This is garbage.

If I didn't know that, I would have not even batted an eyelash at that post. To be like, that guy's hot? It's deranged. It's crazy, right? A$AP Rocky's hot as fuck, bro. A$AP Rocky's one of the hottest dudes alive.

If anything, don't you want someone to say that about your... If I was Rihanna, I'd be like, fuck yeah, good. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. I mean, A$AP Rocky, he's got that smile. He's got a thousand-watt smile. Yeah. You know why?

He's a very handsome man. He's busy fucking blowing loads at Rihanna. That's why. I'd be fucking smiling if I was leaving it in on Riri, too. He also had his, if we're talking about like with just the mischiefting, like lessons in marketing and lessons in virality. Dude, the fact that he was just walking everywhere with her. Was it Mercer and Prince? Is that his whiskey? And I should actually know it because it's like my buddy distributes it.

Is that like Mercer and Prince? It's his whiskey. Very cool. Yeah. It's a sick – bro. That's a cool – That's the bottle. It comes with two glasses.

Square glasses? Yeah. That's very cool. It's just fucking sick. But he was carrying it everywhere. Label out. Like he knows what he's doing. Mercer and Prince, Mercer and Prince, Mercer and Prince.

But it is – it's a very cool colorway and it's a very cool bottle. Yeah, the green? Yeah. It's all very cool. But And it's a very cool bottle Yeah the green Yeah It's all very cool But like If you're I don't know I think that's Just like

I don't know Does anyone That's more That's just more We hate Olivia Wilde And like Which is It's crazy

There's like one little Centimeter of like I see I I understand the angle. Like it's rude. Don't say another fucking person. Yeah.

Like that's – I don't agree with that. No point is that rude. It's like you're just – that is some hive mind shit. Like three or four people at the top of the comments must have said it and everyone is like, yeah, fuck her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that is like so nuts. It's like – if anything, I think it's cool that she refers to him as...

That's something that a regular girl would say. And she's just like a regular girl talking about celebrity gossip. I'm happy this fucking guy is supporting his wife. It is weird, too, just how... This is nothing revelatory here, but how quickly... I feel like Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles were the sweethearts.

And then it was just like Florence Pugh burned that house down. Big time. That movie set a lot of different careers in a lot of different directions. I still haven't seen it. I heard it's fine. I heard it's pretty good, though.

I really liked it. Yeah, I heard a lot of people liked it. And then wrapping up here, we'll just do a quick little mention of some TV shows. The Last of Us bumped up to Friday and it missed the Super Bowl. I didn't see the numbers,

but I'm sure they fucking crushed again. The show just keeps on growing in viewers, and they have not missed yet. I thought the bloater was a little silly. The bloater is – see, this is what's a little weird. That's a video game. That's a video game thing. Absolutely. And so not only that, but like –

I'm sorry to – There's a person who dies in this episode that I didn't think was going to die because I thought they were going to be a part of like the long haul. But then when you think about it as a video game, it's like this level, this happens. This level, this person dies. Yeah, yeah. So like you fight this bad guy and then there's a new bad guy and it feels like, oh, I can't wait to see this play out over several episodes. And it's like, nope, never mind, because you're on to the next level in the game. Yeah, but I don't think it'll keep going like that.

I'd be surprised if every episode is a level. But I think it kind of is. I'm hoping that there hasn't really been a big bad besides the Cordyceps yet. Like somebody that is the true villain that we're rooting against yeah kind of but they're also we now have seen they've been taken out in different cities so it's like who who is the adversary in that case that's what i mean so it's like the you know nick offerman and uh the dude bounced and then the next you know i i do think that there is a little element of that that we don't have

like a Night King or something like that to borrow from Game of Thrones other than just all the zombie shows it's usually the zombies or the enemy the bloater is like a nod to the video game yeah but I thought it looked a little silly

I get how it works in video games it's a big fatso I like that in the game and they did it, they rip your jaw apart. That's what the thing does. But it doesn't make any sense to me really. Like I don't think that would happen if this – let's say this fungi thing happened. I don't think you would like grow. Right.

I think if you fucking infected like andre the giant you'd look like that but i don't think you would be like i'm the king because i eat the most fungus or whatever um but still like still agree and you know what is like i as i was watching that episode i was like i bet this level is so fun when he's in the clock tower and he's got a protector that feels very much like a okay, in this level, you're going to have to protect her, so shoot all of the bad guys around her with a sniper rifle. And it's like I could see she gets to a checkpoint and you're safe,

and then she makes it all the way. I could see where the game is pretty awesome. I downloaded it. I just have not. Oh, that. Take that away. Don't like that. Those the fungus heads really.

Yeah, I don't find that. Reminds me of bark of tree man with the bark on his skin. Yeah. Yeah. Not like that. Oh, okay. No more. Moving on.

It is. It is so funny talk. So I got my parents into this because my parents have really post-pandemic started watching TV. I don't think they realized that TV can be really, really good. So we watched, I think, Master of None? No, no, no, no, no. The FBI one. Something Mind.

Yeah, it's Mindhunter. Mindhunter. Mindhunter. We watched that and they were like, holy's a Mindhunter. Mindhunter. Mindhunter. We watched that and they're like, holy shit, this is great. I was like, yeah, most TV these days is really great. And so they've been on a huge – I disagree with that. I'd say there's always great TV to find.

Yeah, yeah. Right, right. And so I got them in on this. And it's so funny watching – I'll talk to them after every time they watch they call me and uh it is a thing it's a skill being good at watching tv yeah we're watching movies totally i don't think of myself as a critic by any means because i'm everything i'm like that was pretty good you gotta like notice things and pay attention like like i saw my dad he was like

couldn't believe that Henry shot Sam was the name? Was the deaf kid's name Sam? And he was just like it must have really broken his heart. And I was like, well he did it on purpose. And he's like, he shot him on purpose? And I was like, yeah.

And I was like he was infected. He was attacking. And he's like, oh I thought our blood cured him. And I was like, he was infected. He was attacking. And he's like, oh, I thought our blood cured him. And I was like, so what about when he went? I was like, what do you think he was doing? I thought she just woke him up. I was like, you thought that was his reaction?

To be getting woken up, dude? I mean, I've never woken up a deaf kid. That might be the reaction. Bro, that is so funny. That's such a dad thing. And then I made fun, and he kind of got it backwards. I was like, you think just fucking, like, if I had the COVID vaccine, someone has COVID, I cut my hand open, just rub them in blood,

and they'd be all right? And he's like, well, it's a fucking fiction show. And I was like, all right, fair play. But more importantly, what did you think was happening when he flashed his teeth and attacked her and for like 30 seconds was screaming and punching and he was saying,

Joel, save me, save me. Was that a plain tickle fight? It was. I was just telling people it's tough to get up in the morning. Crazy. I'm a night person. I'm not a morning person. Don't talk to me before I have my morning coffee.

Try to eat your face. I'm happy you brought up Mindhunter because I watch Freebird. I'm late to the show on that. I saw so many – Blackbird. I saw so many commercial – like pre-roll things that were like a million awards and nominations. Twitter hit you with it hard. Yeah. And so that actually was like – so I remember tweeting like, is this really worth it?

Because I'm getting pushed for it. A lot of people are like, yes. I thought it was very Mindhunter-esque. Really? Yeah. OK. So I only did – I did two episodes and kind of just fell off. It's getting inside the mind of a uh of a serial killer

and uh taryn edgerton is good paul walter hauser i believe is incredible yeah i don't know what his regular voice is um i've seen how he looks regularly like without just looking like an inmate. He plays this creep in prison that has this real high voice. Like, hey, man, what's the youngest girl you ever fucked? And it's so creepy and very, very good. Only six episodes, though. Oh, really? Which I often say I like that. But this was the one time I wanted more.

Could have at least done eight if not ten. Really fucking good, though. If you like Mindhunter, you'll like that kind of shit for sure. Watch Blackbird. And I'll throw in Shrinking. Yeah, Shrinking too. So they're both on Apple. So I've been watching both of those.

Jason Segel is very good in that. And Harrison Ford is a fucking gangster. He's a G. I've been reading articles about him. Indiana Jones is coming out. He's like, I – like, fuck all you people. I don't give a fuck about you guys. I'm just here to, like, make money.

Dude, what was it? Like, this is his first, like, kind of comedy. And he was like, what did you learn? He just goes, nothing. Nothing. I've been doing this forever. Fuck you guys. He's so, like – I bet to people who to people who talk about the craft and the art,

he'd be like, shut the fuck up, man. I'm just here to act. If by chance we ever get him on, just talk about hobbies with him. He doesn't want to talk about acting. Just talk about the plane, bro. Just talk about flying planes, man. He also looks good.

Yeah, he's like 80, isn't he? I was surprised. He's looked the same for like... And it and it's actually funny too in talking to my parents are watching that as well um and in talking to my dad and seeing how we see things differently and i think probably because our age we're like i saw harrison ford like shaving in the mirror i was like damn harrison ford looks pretty good like you're looking pretty slim. And my dad's like, he's wasting away. No, I think he looks good, though. Yeah, I was like, oh. That's one from...

My dad thought he actually has fucking Parkinson's. Really? He doesn't seem like he does. I didn't think so, either. But he's like, why is he so skinny? Is he sick? Does he have Parkinson's? I don't know.

I think your dad might be over two on that on TV right now. I think he's just like like he sees a man who used to be jacked and is older and it's like is that what's gonna happen to me i guess he also was like kind of a silver fox pretty early so it's like the hair being gray doesn't really affect it um but uh yeah in the new indiana jones they said like he limited the jokes about how old he is he's like i don't want that to be the story. Yeah. Like, he's older. He's doing this adventure. That's it.

Not everything has to be like, ah, I can't, my back can't do this anymore, kid. Too old for this shit. Yeah, yeah. He's like, there's some, but I limited it, so that's cool. Oh, you know who I love in drinking?

His fucking neighbor, who... The chick? From Scrubs, right? From Scrubs, yeah. Yeah, she was Dr. Cox's wife. She's good, yeah. Or Dr. Cox's ex-wife.

I don't think they're ever actually married. They're always, like, in a very toxic relationship to the whole episode series. Yeah, they might get. Cox's wife. Or Dr. Cox's ex-wife. I don't think they're ever actually married. They're always in a very toxic relationship to the whole episode series. Yeah, they might get married. Or no. They definitely reconcile and break up. I don't know. They reconcile, but I think they're like,

we'll never get married again or something. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's awesome. I haven't seen her in anything since Scrubs. No, I think she was. I'm sure she's done plenty. I think she was in Bill Lawrence, who did Scrubs, did Cougar Town.

I think she makes a great team. Oh, I think she's in Cougar Town a little Scrubs, did Cougar Town. I think she makes a good team. Oh, I think she does. Shout out Cougar Town. Cougar Town and Real Housewives. Or what was that show called? Desperate Housewives. Yeah. Okay, we're going to do Am I the Asshole and voicemails.

But first, we would be remiss if we did not mention Valentine's Day. How did Valentine's Day go for the whole gang? Good. I don't know. Got Stone went to a restaurant. Got Stone went to a restaurant? Okay. Pabs?

I went to a restaurant. Any anal? I don't have a mic. Oh. Oh, yeah, we broke the mic a week ago. I went to a restaurant, a nice restaurant, and obviously it's Valentine's Day, and I sit down,

and there's a couple next to me with their child with an iPad playing at 100% volume throughout the entire dinner. It was unbelievable. They're like, fuck you guys. Those parents have kid ears where it's like that's not even half of the volume they're used to with everything going on in the house.

They probably don't even notice and don't even care. It's our one night a year. Fuck you. My roommate pulled one of the best moves ever. So we all had reservations. There's like three people going out to dinner, three sets of people going out to dinner, all kind of getting ready. And he had nothing to do that night, obviously. And he gets in the shower.

He takes a half hour shower, like right before everybody's about to go out, like right before everybody has to get ready. Yeah. So there's like he's the only single one. And he just never showers. He rarely just decides. He sees that we're all getting ready to go. All need to get in the bathroom. Half hour shower.

Hops in a half hour shower. Well done. After a half hour shower, that's a don't slip, you'll get pregnant shower. That's a get out of the drain-o. Jackie, how was yours? What did you do, John? I actually, I don't know if it's just like the world i live in now or if uh it's it's something within me i thought yesterday lacked a lot of love as a whole for society i did not think yesterday

was a very poppin valentine's day uh usually i'm inundated with social posts and and people complain about all that stuff but i don't know I'd like to see what your significant other looks like. Or stalk your girlfriend. Or boyfriend. I just said he's at Rocky's. I'm looking to see who the competition is. Who's fucking who? Yeah, I want to know who's fucking who. And I did not

see, maybe it's just I don't check it as much these days, but I thought it was all there was not a lot of love yesterday for valentine's day hopelessly single and i think that's very sad yeah i wasn't i don't even want it for me by the way i got zero happy valentine's day messages but you like even talking to my parents who usually say happy valentine's day didn't say it um the well i mean you know who fucking cares It's just a nice thing to say I say happy fucking Friday

What's up with the weekend? It's what's happening right now Yes, say happy Valentine's Day Hey, happy Valentine's Day, by the way Okay, great You would say that to anyone? Who would you say that to? I guess nobody, but the

If you ran into me, would you say happy Valentine's Day? No, because I did run into you I didn't say it But the If I was talking to someone on the phone, I would probably say it. You would not. You might say what are your plans for Valentine's Day.

You would not tell a random friend happy Valentine's Day. I guess that's part of it. I'd inquire about what the plans are. Yeah. You don't say it though. Because it's something you talk about. It's what the weather is. It's all the small talk. You just got to's something you talk about it's just it's what the weather is it's all the small talk yeah he's got to do a small talk and be like yeah what's up

yeah but that's like a it's like it's like congratulating people when someone else in their family's pregnant like oh congrats yeah yeah the fuck is that yeah i definitely don't say that yeah happy valentine's day it's like you know why because it's you know not all not everybody celebrates if you're a fucking single it's not even a day for you you know because not everybody celebrates it because it's it's uh it's an awkward one if you i feel like valentine's day is good for um like the relationship that's newly fully established if that makes sense you know yeah i yeah and then and then i think it gets stupid and then i think it comes back around again when it's like you're 50 and you're like you're older or whatever and you're like let's go out

and you do something cute the middle ground especially once you're getting older you have kids and shit like that it's like like, I don't fucking care. We're not doing this. Let's just, you know. But that first stage. I think like everything, the moderation, the point, it should always be. I think what we're talking about with the breakups, with the Instagram deletes, like it's if you're trying too little or too hard, you're losing. It's just you have to find the right.

If you're like, I don't give a fuck about Valentine's Day. Who gives a shit about Valentine's Day? Tall day tall mark created it same thing with uh with your birthday when it's like right when you're one of those i don't talk about my birthday i was like well now you're a weirdo too yeah if you wear the sash and the fucking tiara you're an asshole as well i'll get you some roses what do you do though as a especially as guy? You got a girl that you've been seeing for a little bit and it's Valentine's Day. That's a make or break right there. That's either like you just press fast forward and you add like six months to your relationship. I think one Valentine's Day is equal to six months of dating or you pull the trigger and you are like we're not doing anything and that means that you're dead.

You're killing if you if you've been dating someone for like three months you either jump to almost a year or if you thought there was any chance it was gonna happen drop the fucking guillotine chop the head off it's over i think wait so which way do i go with it yeah yeah would are you more inclined to be like all right this is a little bit further along than I wanted, but let's do something nice. And then she's like, ooh. I'm far more inclined to do that. Of course. Yeah, yeah.

Which is the way to live. See where things go. Yeah. Rather than cut it off early. You know, like you've been dating someone for three months. You know, maybe or not you can drive legally. It doesn't matter. And it's like you're you're uh you you you're obviously into them enough it's like let's see maybe valentine's day is incredible maybe you have a great time and the sex is great and the

connection is awesome and you're like hell yeah maybe it's not who knows but just cutting it off and be like we're not doing anything that yeah i mean anything. Yeah. It just shows who you are as a person. You're a party pooper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But can – I think you can also do Valentine's Day without – if you put effort into it, it like fast-forwards the relationship. I think if you're just like, I want to go to dinner and I get you like chocolates. That's Valentine's Day. Yeah, but I'm saying if you go, if I get you your favorite flowers and we go to some restaurant that you've been

hinting about or whatever, Steve Fury later in the interview has a sneaky move that he does to make sure girls like him. If you put some effort into it, it's like, okay, we're fucking dating now. Versus like, hey, we've been seeing each other a lot. Anyway, we might as well go out.

But let's not make it a thing. What's your worst Valentine's Day ever? Or best or both. Usually it's both. What do you mean usually it's both? Well, I guess I really only have like one Valentine's Day story. I guess I don only have like one Valentine's Day story. I guess I don't despite my – This is right up there with John saying he doesn't have sex.

He's never gone on a date and he doesn't like music. What do you mean? He also never has – never done anything on Valentine's Day. I've done like – I guess I'm trying to think. I guess I just haven't been in that many relationships or at least that many that do overlap Valentine's Day. I've never really – I've had one. I've had one where I went all out. And I've talked about it before where my girlfriend came to Florida.

We went to Disney. Right. I got a dinner reservation at China in Epcot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was the worst meal of all time like it was it was bro like when i tell you like the tables were this wide and like it was bad like just people sitting in your goddamn lap and then the food was so fast i think it was a half hour dinner it was it was inside they were just so quick to be like here's your food here's what get the

fuck out of here. And then we stayed in like a very – I mean I was in college. We didn't have money. We stayed in like a very childish, shitty Disney hotel. So you have like Valentine's Day sex while Buzz Lightyear is like painted on the ceiling above you. It was all – it was – I think it was a nice gesture. I think we wanted it to be better than it was. Well, it's a lot. Like you really – those days are – it's prefix menu and crowded and stupid.

I wasn't 21 at the time so she was sneaking me beers. Yeah. That is I think when – I remember going all out in like middle – like high school and being like i gotta get everything i got the gifts i get the teddy bear and all that and you know because you're hoping to get laid or do some kinky shit for the first time whatever um but my worst one i don't think i've had any like terrible experiences i've i've definitely had uh a lot of like we broke up recently before valentine's day fuck like i know she's upset or whatever you know what i mean like we're not together we didn't do anything but i know the whole time it's like guilt or whatever yeah you broke up in january or whatever like right before it. It's like, that's going to weigh on me because they're toxically like blaming me for this.

But yeah, I don't think I have – you know what? There was. There was one in high school because that – we had some crazy weird sex for what teenagers should be doing. And I have that one vividly in my head this is what you did about these had sex uh yeah no we went out and um oh you know what i i have a valentine's day i have a valentine's day i don't know what happened bro i have a valentine's day where um i was on some sting shit dude we had sex for like 5 hours like

not even like starting and stopping it was like one continuous session I don't know what happened all I know is we came up for air and we had to order McDonald's at like midnight because everything was closed and I was like that was not the plan at all

so it was that was probably my plan at all um so it was that was that was probably my favorite most memorable one where it was just like like i i was like wow that was pretty long like we're in here for like an hour and she was like it's tomorrow what just happened i don't know how or what happened uh but yeah that capped off with some uh like doordash mcdonald's I was like this is the best Valentine's Day ever everybody should do this that was a good time I was going to say in terms of bad ones

I did like call a girl out for cheating on me on one that's fun though I think she was like in lingerie and I was like so let's talk about those texts you got with your best friends brother you should have done that after you should have done that about 15 minutes later. Yeah, trust me.

I realize that now. She would have been like, wow, that was great. Light up a cigarette. So who else did you do that with? Who was she fucking? It was her best friend's boyfriend. Woo! So her best friend told me the day before, and then I was like.

So you two both were like, fuck you guys. Yeah, we were like, fuck off. That's like a movie plot. Yeah, it was fucked up. like, fuck you guys. Yeah, we were like, fuck off. That's like a movie plot. Yeah, it was fucked up. Yeah, that was tough. All right, let's do a couple Am I the Assholes here. I was planning to break up with my significant other until they inherited a large sum of money. Part of my reason for wanting to break up was that we often fought about money,

so I figured this might solve the problem. That's some fun mental gymnastics you're doing there. I don't think that makes a lot of sense to me. That makes a lot of sense. I think... You're like, yo, all we fight about is money. Money might be the catalyst,

but you got problems in your relationship if you're fighting a lot, you know? It's fine. Is there vodka in that bottle? What happened? It, like, got, like, stuck. The water? Right here, yeah.

It was, like, it was so weird. It was so weird. It, like, paused, like, right here, and I couldn't get it to go one way or the other. I was, like, just frozen in time. And I finally, I see stars everywhere right now. I think I'm suffering oxygen deprivation. Did you just drown yourself? Did you just drown yourself with a sip of water?

Dude, it is. Is it in your lungs? I don't know. That was wild. You just gave yourself pneumonia? That was so weird. I like pause. No, I cut to you because I was like, what's happening? That was so bizarre. Anyway, bro, I cut to you because I was like, what's happening? That was so bizarre. Anyway, bro, I need money. If I'm in a fucking relationship and all we fight about is fucking money,

and then one day I get a shill of the fucking money, if everything else is good, we're good. And by I, I mean you. Like, I'm like, fine, whatever, fuck it, we give a shit. We have money now. Or like, it's like thinking about if all you thought about in a relationship was the fact that you never had sex. And then one day she's like, let's start having sex. It's going to be great.

But that's a good example because it's not always that easy. It's like, you can't just like start fucking me like this is weird now it's awkward we haven't had sex for a while we gotta like ease back into it i don't think if you just drop a brick of cash on the relationship that all those problems disappear i think they do i think they do all right who gives a shit we got money like how how much you know what is money is the opposite of this money causes breakups if you got money you you get divorced you get you break up you dumb people if you don't have money you stick with people because you're like i can't do this we're in a foxhole together yeah like like whether we like it or not if we get

divorced like you're not going to be able to make like your mortgage payment and i'm not going to be able to like what are we gonna do with dake like whatever it is i think people who are broke together stay together it's when you're like i can stand on my own two feet that you're like fuck this yeah i'm out of here and in some cases that's good you have the financial freedom to be like i don't need to be dependent on someone who's bad for me but in some cases i think it's like there's problems that you would work through if you were not rich enough to say, fuck this. And in the long run, you might have stayed together and it might have been good. It's like how they say the success rate of both love marriages and what do they call the other ones?

Arranged marriages? Arranged marriages. Yeah. Are basically the same. Wait do they call the other ones? Arranged marriages? Arranged marriages. Yeah. Are basically the same. Wait. What's the first one? Regular? The success rate of both love marriages.

And actually, I would guess arranged should probably have overtaken it a bit more recently. Yeah. Because in arranged marriage, you're like, well, we have to make this work. Yeah. We'll just concede on some things and compromise on some things. Whereas love marriage is like, it's love. It's the faith. It's just work.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you give up and you don't try. And you're just like, I don't want to do that. And I don't have to do that because I can just pay for my own apartment or whatever it is. So I think in the long run, money, a bunch of money, especially, okay, if you have money issues only one of those person people are inheriting that money not when i have a ring dog not when i'm at the fucking will reading with a ring in my pocket and the second it's true i'm gonna make this real romantic the second he says how much money you get i'll drop to a knee i don't really know like when you're making like

uh someone's doing it doing their girlfriend's fucking graduation Or their I don't know, people do it I don't agree with the move Their girlfriend's graduation? We're going back in time now, huh? I was honestly watching Who are you dating that's graduated?

I just watched Tickets to Paradise George Clooney and Julie Roberts Great, real good rom-com And that's how he proposed to her. He was like waiting on the stage. And that's not a spoiler. It's like one of the early scenes they're talking about, how they got married. But the – yeah, I feel like you kind of like – you surprise people on big days.

And again, I don't agree with it, but people do it plenty. And I would do that at the Will reading. I want you to remember this day forever. I don't know how that works. I'm going to take this sad moment and make it a beautiful moment. I'm rich. If we're married and my family member dies, we inherit that money? Is that how that works?

I usually know how these things work, who gets the money and how much. But I'm not sure with dead people inheritance. Because that feels to me like that should be mine that's yeah yeah you know dude that's like the guy i saw the other day i tweeted it people did not like that i tweeted it um that this dude's a legend who uh his his wife was like should i divorce my husband he won't pay for the kids tuition it's like it's like he makes 150 grand a year i make 60 i make

60 000 my husband makes 150 000 but he refuses to pay any of the tuition or related costs which comes about 80 000 a year he says it's my responsibility that's gang shit making your wife going they're not his kids i think that's what okay yeah but making your wife go into debt to pay for the kids tuition when when you got plenty is awesome. Why don't you go out and bang your America, babe? See if they'll help you out because I'm going to Morocco with the boys. That is kind of fucked up, but I do get it where it's like, what if it's like, hey, man, I don't believe in college and I never did. And when you had these kids, like, that was up to you. I don't believe in flushing money down the toilet.

Not happening. Dude, the fact that this is even a question where it's like, should I divorce him? Means my guy throws good dick. Like, this dude is sending me into debt. Like, it's sort of college. By the way, like, making $150000 and it sounds like you have multiple kids at $80,000 a year, that's not enough money.

That's not $150 million. That's not $1.5 million. They're not making enough cash for that. It's almost like, I can't afford it. I only can afford it a little bit more than you. Why do I have to do it? Fuck that. What's that reply?

Someone says you should read this. I'm going to do it? You know? Fuck that. What's that? Excuse me. What's that reply? Someone says you should read this. I'm going to read it. My younger sister has not spoken. Oh, it's a different story altogether. Whatever. I'll read it anyway. My younger sister has not spoken to me since last Christmas when I requested to stay in an ocean view room in the house where our family planned to spend the holidays.

I needed the room's sitting area for pumping breast milk and feeding my three-month-old. Pump those titties! My sister preferred the Ocean View room and even moved her and her partner's things into the room for a few days before the rest of the family pressured her to leave and allow me space to pump in private. That's what I say.

She punished us by yelling at us and giving the family, including my infant daughter, the cold shoulder for the holiday. I give infants a cold shoulder, too. Is the kid taking offense to it? Yeah. After that, my sister had a wedding in May, but she and her groom contracted COVID nine

days before the welcome receptions were to begin. She didn't understand why my husband and I declined to attend, and she declined to tell the rest of the guests she had COVID. Others became sick after the event. She has continued cold shouldering me and my daughter, whose first birthday she ignored. Out of the blue, I received a text message from her that she and her husband want to find an investment account for our daughter. We are not sure this seems wise to accept.

A daughter will be very well taken care of financially, even without these funds. I don't want to accept funds from a couple who have proved emotionally abusive and tie my daughter to a potentially harmful relationship with them. Still, I wonder if declining funds on about half my one-year-old is not fully my decision to make. Should I decline? Name withheld. Bro, this family sounds fucking juiced.

This is some fucking rich people. When rich people are offer you free money take money you take money take money I got a rule like when someone says here's some money

you take it only time you can't you can say no is if it's like blood money mafia money and you're really gonna get caught up

in some shit oh oh oh mafia money I guess that'd be a little bit concerning yeah like here's a bag of money and now you have to

go kill someone for me you know oh no heavens no but if you like if the money has oh like blood diamond yeah it comes from That'd be a little bit concerning. Yeah. Like blood money. Like here's a bag of money and now you have to go kill someone for me. You know? Oh, no. Heavens no. But if you like, if the money has. Oh, like blood diamond. Yeah. It comes from like.

Blood diamonds. Yeah. I don't even fucking. You stole it from the Jews in 1940. Someone just brought up the Holocaust. It's on my mind right now. But like, I don't know, man. But if it's just like, I don't like my uncle and my uncles.

Do you want this money? I'm like, yeah, I'll take that money. That money is the same as that money, brother. I don't care who it came from. And then also you can just tell people, like, no. Like, when they say, like, what do you mean you're not coming to our reunion or our wedding or something? We gave little Miss Susie $50,000. Like, that was a gift, sir.

You shouldn't have done that. Oh, but I'd go. I'd go. But if you didn't want to. I would be beholden to you like this idea that's no that's what it is this idea uh i don't want to accept money from a couple who proved emotionally abusive and uh my daughter also i don't know i don't know i don't i don't think i'm counting these people as emotionally abusive just yet because they didn't talk to

the fucking three month old true my point is overall though is that if somebody comes to you and gives you a gift and then all of a sudden is like i need to do this that and the other thing you have every right to be like you didn't say that motherfucker you know i remember that guy took me to the super bowl when summer came around it was time to advertise he was like so how many like free ads am i getting and i was like no bro that's not how this works and he's like i took you to super bowl and i was like well then you should have done that right We never had a discussion. You said it to him?

Yeah, I was like, I wasn't that tough about it. Yeah, yeah, right. But I was like, you know, that was like, I said like, dude, had I known that was what was going on, I would have said no. I thought we were going as friends. I thought that, you know, you wanted me there for like some publicity. But had I known it was going to be in place of money, I would have said no. This shit is like if they say, you know, we gave your one-year-old money,

you need to come to our baby showers and shit no i fucking don't yeah don't give money to people who don't like you i love that for a fucking lesson yeah i knew we were in for some shit the moment we got to like the ocean view rooms being like an issue anyone who you know anybody any of the details like that in there you took a rich rich when when you're staying at a house like be an an Airbnb or your family house or significant other's family, whatever, like I am, if you care about what room you're staying in,

if you didn't pay for the house, you're a fucking loser. I mean, like to me, when people are like, oh, which is the one with the most natural light? What are you fucking doing? I didn't even notice there was a window in here. I'll just take it.

Is there a bed? I'm good. It's basically like a pretty standard practice of mine. I will – if I get to an Airbnb first, no matter what time I get there, if I'm not the last person there, I just leave my belongings in the living room until it's time to go to bed. Figure it out. And then I'm like, whatever bed's open, I'll take. And then off the time I end up on the couch. Especially if other people beat you there.

They pick the room first, that kind of stuff. I think the person who like booked it i think traditionally should get the master as long as if if they're a family unless there's a family there's a family the family gets the big room otherwise you know um but also a lot of times those houses are like we're cramming in and we're just gonna let it rip and you know maybe when you're older in life it's a little bit different but in the beginning it's like i remember we had a big fight uh as a group of friends my one buddy and his girl put their bags in one room and then my other buddy fucked his girlfriend on that bed and they were like we that's our room and they were like no it's not they're like we put our bed in like our bags

in there and then you fucked on our sheets. And it was like, those aren't your sheets. Your bags were just on the floor. Nobody has slept there yet. Like it was fair game. And it was, it was, it was very divided. No, that's it. That's so the bags were already in there.

And then people went and fucked on the bed. Yeah. That's crazy. But it was not like out of spite. I think it was just out of like, you know, like where, where we started to party and shit. And they went somewhere to fuck. It's not the end of spite i think it was just out of like you know like where we started to party and shit and they were it's not the end of the world but if someone if someone's like well our bed like that's our bed to sit to the reply to be like no it's not is like well yeah it is like like that's that's how choosing rooms works like that's our bed now yeah but you don't own the sheets like i know but like i don't know if you if you broke into my hotel room and fucked in my bed,

and your response was, that's not your bed, I'd be like, well, kind of it is. If you changed the sheets, would you have a problem with it? No, I really wouldn't have a problem with it. In general. In general, unless the response was, that's not your bed. Well, yes, it is. For all intents and purposes, this is my fucking bed.

I get what you mean, but it was also like we were like 24. We're here to fucking party, man. We're not here to enjoy the master suite with your girlfriend. We're trying to get it in. But did the dudes not have a bed? I think it was just like that was the room at the top of the stairs. That's crazy, too. If I have a room.

No, yeah, that's what I mean. I don't know if they had their own room, I think they would have fucked in that room. I think they were either like, oh, you know what it was? I think it was also like some people were a full, some people were a half. They're only coming for a weekend. There was a whole bunch of shit. But I mean ultimately they were in the right, but it was also like they were fuck it was nuclear yeah calm down dude but yeah that's like you know we've like we all went to college together i've seen you fuck i've watched you jerk off we've been in blacked out situations

all together like a couple you know girlfriend i've i've let people have sex in my parents bed before i i've let people have i don't know if i've let people but i'm sure people have i never have i think people who have fucking their parents but they're perverts totally weird but my friend was like yo anyone here no good good good we passed today's test we're not that big of perverts uh i like my buddy was like yo like the only room. I was like, okay. I don't give a shit. I was like, don't fucking piss on it. Well, I've done that. I've done it.

It's a little worse. Mr. High and Mighty over here. You're fucking weird if you fuck in your parents' bed. Only I just pee in it. It wasn't their parents. It was his sisters. What's funny is I have this vision of you not peeing in the bed. I have a vision of you peeing into the bed.

Standing there and peeing in the bed. Yeah, that is something I've done. But no, I had buddies who were like, my parents are going to go out for the weekend. I'll be sleeping in their room. You can sleep in my bed. I'm like, why are you going to sleep in their room, you fucking weirdo? I don't even like going in my parents are gonna have a weekend i'll be sleeping there and you can sleep in my bed i'm like why are you gonna sleep in their room yeah fucking weirdo i don't like going in my parents room let alone like i think i might have done that before where it's like because it's i think it's i think it's a little bit weird for your friend to like snuggle up in your parents sheets and shit it's weird for anyone it's their bed i know but like it's it's still family like

like to be in their room with their belongings and their stuff it's their bed i know but like it's it's still family like like to be in their room with their belongings and their stuff it's like i'll go my my mom's room and you guys stay in my room like that way i think we had enough rooms where it's like there's always a sibling not there so yeah they never really had to right come into play but i think you're like dibs on my parents bed you got issues got issues, bro. How about this? I don't think I should have to give up my plane to someone who's only 60. One woman gave me the stink eye even though she was in better shape than I am. Give up their plane?

Yeah. Plane seat. Like, I don't understand. I don't think I should have to give up. Did I say plane? Yes. I don't think I should have to give up my seat to someone who's only 60 One woman gave me the stink eye Even though she was in better shape than I am

Okay so I'm thinking subway now I'm thinking anything Subway I guess When do you give up your plane seat Train I'm up and at them I often just stand or lean But if I'm up and at them I often just stand or lean But if I'm sitting

The moment I see someone who's even Like looks like they might not know long division that well I'm fucking But like 60 is You can be 60 and be like fully capable Oh yeah But if you're not healthy looking Like a healthy 60 year old When you say can't do math Are you, like a healthy 60-year-old.

When you say can't do math, are you talking like a retarded person? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to give up your seat for the disabled. Hell yeah. But not the old. No, I'll give up for the old, too. I'll give up for anybody. I don't even want to be sitting there.

How old is old? It depends. You got gray hair? You could be 45 if you're just not looking healthy, like if you're like slumped over. So that's kind of this guy's point. He's like, this chick was in better shape than I am. Yeah, I guess if she's standing over, you know, you can tell when someone's like, give me that fucking seat. You can have the seat.

So if you're standing over me, I'm not going to. I don't want the fucking seat. If you're a healthy looking person, I'm not going to yell across the car. Oh, you, you, you, you, you. Come take my seat. Yeah. But if you're standing there and like giving me the vibes that you want my seat, you can have my seat. I don't fucking care enough. Yeah. But if you're standing there and giving me the vibes that you want my seat, you can have my seat. I don't fucking care enough.

I hear that. Speaking of seats and 60-year-olds, I sent a group text. We haven't told this story yet. On the plane home in Arizona. Johnny almost got his bird wet. I sent a group text before the plane had even taken off. My seatmate, who was probably about a 60-year-old woman, very pretty. She was like a real housewife. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly.

Real housewives of Houston or whatever she's talking to, right? No, she's going to Florence. She's from Louisville. Right, right, Louisville. But they had a house in Scottsdale. Way off. And before the plane even took off, she'd already whacked two bud two millilites just fucking bang bang put them down quick fast and i was like oof i think kevin's

response was i told you you're gonna get married one day and uh and then when the food started coming around i got a cheeseburger and i was like wait I don't want a cheeseburger I actually wanted the like a stir fry vegetarian dish or whatever no they were doing like a chicken stir fry they were calling it a poke bowl which is why it turned me off

but I saw them coming out and I was like oh no it's just chicken stir fry don't call it a poke bowl because that makes me think of sushi in a bowl and that's just disgusting sushi in any form

other than sushi should not be served they got sushi burritos now they got sushi fucking tacos that's why I don't fuck with lo locks on a bagel it feels like it's just slabs of fucking yeah that's in a in a in a sushi roll all good fine yeah anything else no thank you but once i saw it was a chicken i was like oh wait fuck i want that instead because we had just had a cheeseburger sure um we did but also i will say those cheeseburgers were good enough that I was very like, how

the fuck did they make this? Really? It tasted like a diner burger. It wasn't like a Shake Shack burger, which we had just had. It wasn't like a flame grilled one, but it tasted like something you would get from the diner that was good enough, and it was really melty cheese. And I was like, you got like 100 of these motherfuckers on this board? How did you do this

like just microwave it there's obviously not a grill there were not 100 there were about 18 of those yeah you think so yeah because we don't get them oh that was only first class now i've started to understand i did not realize got Got it. You guys are poor. I see now. And so she's immediately like, sweetheart, you can take mine. I don't want. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You enjoy your Poke Bowl, blah, blah, blah.

And we had this little interaction there. And that's when I was like, oh, she's not like. I had called her an older woman in the text. I was like, she's actually not. She's kind of like fucking hot. Because when I sat down, I didn't stare at her. I didn't have a great look. But she was kind of slumped.

And she had glasses on. She was reading. And I don't know. The glasses kind of put me over the edge. And then we had that interaction. I was like, oh, damn. You could get it. This lady is quite attractive. And the ride goes on.

And in the last half hour, she'd been having Chardonnays after the beers to start. Whatever. And then we got to talking. And I got to drinking whiskey. And I was like. What did you say? You said something like it was 15 more minutes or something? Yeah, I might have meant that.

He was like, if this ride was 15 more was 15 we got sent to a holding pattern man like i had a fucking touched if if there wasn't an available gate and we had to do a few laps around jfk then i might have been in the fucking in the in the uh mile high club it was i mean she's honestly great. I never like talking to people. I think it was one of those things where most of the flight we were being like... We were watching our own shit.

She was watching the menu. I was watching... I don't even remember, to be honest. New Girl, I think. And then I think we both got enough booze in us to be like, should we have a conversation? What's up, girl? Were you sitting directly next to her?

Directly next to her. Like shoulders touching? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you were. Practically first base. She was talking about, she had a layover in Amsterdam, and we were talking about the Burt Christ trip. She's like, oh my God, you boys are just crazy.

And then she got out and needed to run somewhere, right? She's like, oh, my God, you boys are just crazy. And then she got out and needed to run somewhere, right? She needed to run to go get her ticket for her next flight because she had canceled the connecting and needed a new one. That's when I saw her. I was like, you got us here. And I was like, oh, my God, here she comes, here she comes, here she comes. And she came around. She had her hands in the air. She's like, I got my ticket.

And Cameron just goes, oh, I see what you're talking about. Because he was there. I almost fucked this old lady. And Cameron just goes, oh, I see what you're talking about. Because he was there. I almost fucked this old lady. And I was like, all right, creepo. Whatever, man. And then I saw her. I was like, oh, old lady does not do her justice. I would definitely fuck this woman.

She was great. She was great. She knows what Barstool is. She loves Bert Kreischer. I was just somewhere going, my mom flew to Florence and had a layover. Fuck. I'm actually not giving that many details because I think they might be. Somebody would know, yeah. And obviously, if it's your mom, I wasn't going to fuck your mom.

Obviously, I almost fingered your mom. But, you know, whatever happens. Just like DM us. She wouldn't have. I'm attracted to your mom is what I'm saying here. All right, last one. A girl wants to ask me how tall I am on a dating app But when I followed up by asking her how much she weighed

She went ballistic This is fair play You're going to be superficial I'm going to be superficial You know As a matter of fact yours technically You have more control over than I Yeah yeah right Fat boy fat girl fat so face

You can get rid of that fat belly I can't be I'm grown, I'm full grown you're too full grown that's a great point, you are in complete control you can go on a diet, I can't go on a you can intermittent fast if you want yeah

you can podcast for 5 hours a day and not eat lunch bitch but let's not be obtuse here, we know that You can podcast for five hours a day and not eat lunch, bitch. But let's not be obtuse here. We know that. Actually, no. Fuck that. Add it to the Me Too Too movement.

I was about to say that women's weight is more touchy than men's height, but that's only because we're fucking adults about it, and we're like, all right, I can't change this. This sucks. But it probably hurts a lot of fucking short kings feelings when girls are like, you're out. I don't even look at you. And they just go, well, that sucks. You're not even in my eyesight.

Guess what? You fill up too much of mine, fatty. I don't even look down at you. I can't even get around you in my eyes, fat bitch. You're like a spy balloon. You're supposed to be stealth, but you're too visible. Great reference. Alright, voicemails.

Let's let them rip. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. When you're at your best, you can do great things, but sometimes life gets you bogged down. You may feel overwhelmed. You might feel like you're not showing up the way you want to. Working with a therapist can help you get closer to the best version of you because when you feel empowered, you feel more prepared to take on everything that life throws at you.

Simply just getting something off your chest can help you be in the right spot to perform your best. Like if you've got a secret or you've got something on your brain, on your mind, in your heart, and you can't get it out, you're not going to be able to perform your best. That's why sometimes I don't even need like a full therapy schedule or session. Just I need to talk to somebody, get it all off my chest. I feel like I'm a new man and then I can get back to work and back to my family and everything like that. That's what I use BetterHelp for. You can use it for any version of therapy.

You want to text. You want to do phone calls. You want to do video chats. All of it is available through BetterHelp, a great option that is convenient, flexible, affordable, and entirely online. You just got to fill out a brief questionnaire, get matched with a licensed therapist, and switch therapist anytime you want for no additional charge. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can help you get there, and BetterHelp can get you that therapy. Go to betterhelp.com slash KFC today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash KFC for 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash KFC for 10% off your first month.

What's up, guys? Meant to get this to you on Friday, but now it's Super Bowl Sunday. Go Pats. Anyways, wanted to get to you Friday because I missed the release of the podcast while you were in Arizona, and Friday found out you guys released tour dates in fucking Boston for the one show, John. One show. So my bachelor party is that same weekend.

And you guys booked that weekend. So we've got the bachelor party coming in. Just wanted to say, been trying to see you guys for years. Can't fucking wait. It's going to be awesome. We've got to get some sluts with some bananas on stage for these guys. Yes. That's great.

That'll be sick. I was going to say, we need a new opener or so. We got to figure that out. Just so we're clear, by the way, a quick message for Boston. I'm going to make you

a solemn promise right now. It will not be 75 minutes of bagpipes. Exactly that. Exactly that. It will not feel like the start of our show at the Wilbur Theater this time will not feel like a cop's funeral. Bro, that chick.

That chick must have done a hundred back and forths. She walked that stage like she was guarding Buckingham Palace. It was like she was great. She kept coming back being like this is good. The late crowd was drunk enough that they were like what the fuck is this? The early crowd was like what is happening?

We hired a woman and she did exactly what we asked her to do. We didn't really think how much bagpiping a half hour of pre-show bagpiping is. It's too much bagpiping. I remember being like, this is part of the producer

duties. You gotta go tell this chick to fucking sit down or something. That was one of the funniest things you've ever done. We closed the door, remember that? We just closed the door so he couldn't hear it. It made us too uncomfortable to hear. I was like, oh my God, this is so crazy. Out of sight, out of ears, out of mind.

We had the door shut to the green room with our phones playing music, hoping to drown it out. So we didn't have to feel uncomfortable. It's like, what is happening? Kev, you were holding the phone to your ear. I was like, I don't want to hear it. Again, nothing against her. She was fantastic. She's hot, too.

She was exactly what she was supposed to be. We didn't realize how much bagpipe being a half-hour bagpipe. You've got to say, she was probably the prettiest bagpiper in the world. Yeah. Probably the only one. Sound high-track. I remember asking her beforehand. I was like, do you need us to talk to the sound guy and mic you up?

And she goes, oh, no, no, no. We'll be fine. No, it's just a bag play. They'll hear it. Don't worry. But that's dope. I'm very much looking forward to that show with the Wilbur. I think it'll be very fun.

Glad to have the Bachelor Party Boys in town. We will have to do maybe a Q&A session with them or something like that. Something. We got to maybe get get a stiletto. Maybe give Jackie a belt to work with. We will fucking put on a show. Get your tickets to that show. Get your tickets to Austin, Dallas, Houston.

Houston, Stanford, Boston, all the spots on sale. Get your tickets now. Probably like a smattering of tickets left at each location. So get them now. What up, KFC? Fights. Nick, Jackie, the gang. Not sure if not sending a video disqualifies me immediately.

No, it doesn't. I'm not sending a video. You guys got to understand that. Totally understand. Nine to five. The amount of people that send in them shitting. You don't have to do that. Anyways, so I was watching the Ashton Kutcher podcast.

Thought he was really cool. So my girlfriend and I decided to watch No Strings Attached that night. Because we hadn't seen it in a long time. Have you guys watched this movie? I mean, it's the worst thing of all time. What are you talking about? And kind of catching feelings a little bit at first sight. And then Natalie Portman invites Ashton Kutcher to a funeral the next day. Yes, I love it. Haven't seen each other in a decade. Doesn't tell him they're going to a funeral. Yeah, she's a badass.

Somehow, Ashton Kutcher still isn't running away from this crazy girl from his childhood. Natalie Portman. After, he says that he wants to see her again and she says if you're lucky you'll never see me again i mean what the fuck is that you gotta call the police immediately but i mean i mean i just want to get your guys thought fights you had to be so star struck i don't blame you i do same thing, but that is such an inferior movie to Friends with Benefits. It's insane.

It's not even close. No Seems Attached is far, far better than Friends with Benefits. I will say this. I think I got a little bit mixed up. I like both, though. I also like both.

Fuck himself. Justin Timberlake has the Alzheimer's storyline. Yes. I think I like that a little bit better, to be honest. I think I switched the two. Really? Yeah. No, at the time, I was far more a Justin Timberlake guy than an Ashley Kutcher guy.

At the time, it pained me to admit where I was like, the Ashley Kutcher one kicks the shit out of this one. You know what's funny? In the Justin Timberlake one, who's the girl in that one? Mila Kunis. Mila Kunis, right, Natalie Portman. In the Justin Timberlake one, right off the bat,

they are joking about putting a finger in his ass. Yes. And that's early for that. Yes, very early. I remember being like, what is that? And then like 10 years later being like, hell yeah, bro. It's like fucking Scarlett Johansson. Yeah, yeah. They're outside the movie theater or the play. It's a big celebrity.

That's their only scene in it. Yeah. And then they like walk together and she says something about putting a finger in his ass, right? Yeah. And he's like, I didn't say in. I just said like around. That's what it was.

She just fucked his balls. She said, I didn't say in. I said around. And then it like was. He just busts his balls. He's like, I didn't say in. I said around. Then it cuts to the opening thing or whatever. But at the time, early mid-2000s, that was taboo. Now it's like, I said in, and I said three. Not the pinky. But back then, it was a big deal.

It's progressive, bro. Yeah. I forget who. Can you find out who that was? What actress dumps JT? It was... I want to say it was ScarJo. Yeah, that might be the best bet. It might be Olivia Wilde.

No, it's not Olivia Wilde. This is like the dozen. I do feel like ScarJo might be your best bet. Emma Stone. Emma Stone. Damn. Yeah. He looks so young now. We need to talk. It's at the height of Andy Samberg, too. When we were at that bed and breakfast having sex. That doesn't count.

Maybe you should care a little bit less about work and a little more about the girl that you're dating. Last time I checked, work doesn't reassure you that letting your finger up your ass doesn't make you gay. I never said go out, okay? I just said lightly around.

It's like a little button. You know what? Bro, the realest moment in movie history. That is the realest shit ever wrote. From her line to his line. I'm assuring you you're not gay. I didn't say go in. Rub around it like a button. Fucking bravo whoever wrote that. Whoever wrote that

script deserves an Oscar just for that line. There was a million couples on dates in that theater going, whoa. Yup, yup, yup. I didn't forget about that. It had not been in the forefront of my brain anymore, but I remember the first time I've seen that, I was like, whoa.

That's fucking great. Dude, that's the appeal of Natalie brain anymore. But I remember the first time I've seen that, I was like, whoa. That's fucking great. But I still think, those are the advantages. Dude, that's the appeal of Natalie Portman is her dark sense of humor, her darkness. That she took him to a funeral. She's like Aubrey Plaza in fucking Parks and Rec. That's what makes her so hot. Dude, if some fucking chick surprised invites me to a funeral, I'll marry her. Propose to her. At the funeral.

At the funeral, same thing. We'll go hit the will reading after this, and then we'll hit the fucking church. Two birds, one stone. Let's go. Last one. Nice hoodie. What's up, KFC crew? First time, long time here rocking the Sherpa hoodie.

Just have a quick am I the asshole for you. So I live in an apartment complex, and it has a pretty small gym. There's another dude that lives here that runs his personal training business through our apartment's gym. The apartment complex does not know about this. He brings in clients that don't live in our building. They take up a lot of space in this small area and they kind of just hoard the equipment.

So I was just wondering if you guys would consider me the asshole if I kind of went full Karen and reported him to our apartment complex. This could be this guy's livelihood, but at the same time, shouldn't really be running a business like this through our small apartment gym. I know I'm not the only person that's annoyed with it that lives here, so let me know what you guys think. Thanks, and viva. What are they doing?

It's a guy who lives in the apartment who is a personal trainer, and he's having his clients come to the apartment's gym, and he's working them out in there. I have dealt with situations like this before. It's incredibly frustrating. It's so fucking annoying. Because they're starting to win and out? What's the problem?

It's just like because they – it's a personal trainer. I'm getting the situation I'm envisioning is like he's taking like five sets of weights. And it's like because they're running like a super set or doing a circuit over here. Oh, your problem is with the gym. My problem is with the guy running like it also. Like your problem is when you go to the gym and he's running. He's there. And then he's got all the weights.

He's also talking the whole fucking time. Okay, so back up. This is a apartment gym. This is not like a sign up gym Correct So everyone in the building can work out And then he uses it as his personal trainer And there's no You can't use the machines or the weights or whatever

Correct Got it And also More so than even the weights It's like He's talking all the time Where like I've dealt with it too

Where someone has fucking Like They'll have their personal trainer on FaceTime and they'll be like you're already out of time for this. I didn't have these fucking noise cancelings yet. I can fucking hear you.

Would that bother you at a New York sports club? Would it bother me if someone I mean it wouldn't bother me. You're a fucking loser. It wouldn't affect me. someone – yeah. I mean it wouldn't bother me. It's big enough. I'd be like, you're a fucking loser. But I wouldn't – it wouldn't affect me. At no point would I ever say anything to anyone, but I would do what I do to employees here when they have a file of complaint with me. If I file a complaint, I mean text me and bitch about something.

Shut the fuck up. I go, no, you should tweet that. Like someone will send a screenshot of a tweet And it'll be like I should reply to this I'll be like you should definitely reply to that And like I would basically egg someone else on In the gym For them to complain You don't want to be the person

I don't think I'd be the complainer You should fucking do that Someone's got to say something Also just do it anonymously right But even that I wouldn't be to say something. Also, just do it anonymously, right? But even that, I wouldn't be able to do that. I wouldn't be able to carry out that hit. I mean, if you're truly bothered, you can make the call or slip the letter yourself. It is very annoying.

Interesting. It's way more annoying than it should be. I was going to say, this doesn't sound like it would bother me, but I'm not a gym person and all that shit. It's fucking annoying shit. I could see it being bad. I bet you it's like every now and then it's bad, but just do it off hours and shit. You know what I mean? Have your clients come through during the work day and that kind of shit.

But I think in like these small type gyms, there's really no such thing as like off hours. Yeah. It's like, there's always someone else who's working out. Right. Be it lunchtime or night. There's always like. I do. I do appreciate the hustle though.

Using your, your, your apartment gym to fucking charge people. Yeah. Come on down. And like, you don't even have to have a gym membership. Just, just get like fucking 10 weights weights It's all personal trainers have anyway Get like 10 weights in a fucking band And have them come to your apartment Alright

Scuba Stevie, Steve Fury On the show, great interview You're gonna love it We're rolling right? Oh my bad I didn't know either Does that mean it got repoed? What's a debt collector? No they don't come We're rolling, right? Oh, yeah. We're rolling. Oh, my bad. I didn't know either. Does that mean it got repoed? What's a debt collector?

No, they don't come. So what happened? I have a lot of things. I've had a gym membership in debt collection. Yeah, that's a big one. That's a big one. So if you go real big, like this was back in Dells. My Dell looked like a fucking stormtrooper.

This shit was bipping. It had red accents and everything. Where is this? This is like 2010. It was a gaming laptop. I was like, don't worry about the mics. It's all about the computer. Little did I know a Zoom recorder could have done everything.

So if you get an expensive thing and you let it go, like if you're young enough, this will go out to the young people in like Barstool fucking Durham. You can get something expensive and after 10 years, it goes away. So like just hold out. Hold out. Don't do it. When those debt collectors call you up. Don't do it. Explain it a little further.

So you buy something. You owe that company. that company hits you up maybe a couple times oh they hit me up a lot they eventually they send it to a debt collecting agency which is like their entire job is to call and then once it's gotten to that just dig your fucking just take your heels in there they'll call and be like are you ready to pay that and you just go nope no i'm not it'll be a, too. It'll be a guy you never heard of. They don't fucking care. Hey, you now owe me.

I'm like, dog, I don't owe nobody. I'm going to be honest with you. I ain't paying shit. I feel like if I ever were to like, I mean, I'm sure that kills your credit or whatever. It does. But if you do it in your early 20s, that's my vibe. There's two things I always say to young people. Fuck up your credit as much as you can.

And if you want to do drugs, do a different drug every day so you don't get addicted. Or every week. Smart. Smart, you know what I mean? Because then you only did cocaine 12 times last year. That's pretty good. That's like a straight-laced dude. And it'll be fun.

Dude, I had my debt collection was, it was a gym membership, but it was, dude, it was like, I must have been on year nine of gym membership but it was dude it was like I must have been on year 9 of it because it happened no yeah like what was your gym

what were you Equinox? it was when I fucking probably it was when I first lived in New York I lived in New York when I was 21 and had fucking no money literally zero dollars

and so it was then and then when I was moving back to New York the second time when I was trying to get my apartment they were like you have really bad credit I was like what are you talking about I've never even I don't even have credit I don't was trying to get my apartment, they were like, you have really bad credit. I was like, what are you talking about? I've never even had credit.

I don't even have a credit card. And then they were like, you have this thing in collections. And I was like, it was like $50. Yeah, I love it was Planet Fitness. Like, they're coming after you with the $5.50 a month. I was like, I was panicking. I was like, fuck me. I was putting off the phone call.

Because they were like, here's who has your debt. You want to call in and resolve it. And I was like, I bet they've been charging me every month for 10 years i was like this is gonna suck and they're like you owe us 56 i was like why'd you say something we did we sent you mail fucking for that i'm not opening mail though i'm not opening mail what are you doing when they tell me we've mailed you before i'm like an envelope yeah with paper yeah and you think i read that you You and the penny saver. People have been mailing me for a long time

and looked at nothing. You got a better chance of opening the window and yelling it out. Maybe I'll hear it. Thank you so much. I will open up the fucking mailbox. I will grab the paper and I'll go like this. And I'll chuck it, yeah. What I look for in LA... Cheers, brothers. Nice and warm.

Yeah, I had... You had to work. You got a cold one? Oh, mine was cold, yeah. I was like, brothers. Nice and warm. Yeah, I had it. Fuck, Jackie. You had to work. You got a cold one? All right. Oh, mine was cold, yeah. I was like, I don't know why you guys are complaining. Treating Jackie's so bad. This is warm and some weird shit.

Thanks, Jack. It's a funky. All right. You nailed it. You're the right person, guys. Is this like a barstool beer? Yeah, it is. That's why I don't know why she poured it into a glass.

Oh, and this is awesome. It was just. This tastes great. It was memorial. They took it off a shelf with like a trophy. I definitely watched it. It's a big deal brewing.

But yeah, they will also don't ever pay medical bills. Ever. No? Those don't even hit your credit. Yeah, you can't even

touch it. So like, I remember... Yo, let's make this a straight up financial I got a lot of scams, America. I've been scamming people my whole life. Let's do schemes and scams episode. So, like, I remember I had... Yo, let's finish the straight-up financial episode. I got a lot of scams, America. I've been scamming people my whole life. Let's do schemes and scams episode.

Oh, I got one right here. This is my scheme and scam if you're trying to date somebody. Okay. See, I didn't know that this is actually called courting a woman. Wooing, if you will. Wooing. I thought I was scamming the love of my life. And this is...

Ultimately... It's the same thing, right? It's the same thing. I'm trying to trick you. I'm trying to get it. To fuck you. To fuck me. As long as I'm tricking you to stay with me. Yeah.

Then it's okay. Then it's kosher. Yeah. Yeah. I've actually gaslit every woman I've been with. It's just been a positive. It's just called like getting in a relationship. Yeah.

So this is my move right here. Right. First date. Such a fun question too. Right. Do people know that she's here? I don't know. There's a girl here. No, no, no. We're human trafficking her. Well, I don't know. Her family doesn't know. I talk to the whatever person. know that she's here i don't know there's a girl here no we're human

trafficking her well i don't know family doesn't talk to the whatever person she's here so what you do is the first date right you're always trying to come up with little questions what you do is you ask them what's your taco bell order okay okay then you write down the taco bell order and a lot of times if it's a girl know, it could be like black bean chalupa, some weird, funky shit that you never thought of. First day she got a bad day, Postmates that thing. Really? It's about a $12 investment. And if you get someone's Taco Bell order right, that person will love you for the rest of their life.

They will love you. That's my first scam. I did that with my – I never did anything with it. But, like, that's funny. Like, some would call that romance. Exactly. You's my first scam. I did that with my, I never did anything with it. But like, that's funny. Like some would call that romance. Exactly. You call that scam. I just had such a weird drug dealer vibe when I was a kid.

I was like, I'm a scam. This girl will like me. I'm a scam. This dude will be my friend. Yo, I got a good scam running right now. I'm just nice to everybody. Idiots. These people are fucking idiots.

In fact, of the Sunny episode, when they're cooking up the scam, and Dennis is like, let's run the scam. And he's just trying to get them to just work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, ooh, a Castro boo scam. It's all about scams. Small scams will get you through life. Also, I'm in the middle of not paying any of my parking ticket scams. Oh, that one's rough. That's not really a good one to engage in. Not for the faint of heart.

I've done that scam. That scam doesn't go back. I've been in that scam for three, four years, dude. I had to go pick up my car getting towed once a month. That's the thing. You will get fucked by it. You ever got the red, what's a one during the day? The no compact one?

Oh, fuck. It's like when it's when it's traffic and you're parked in a red zone. Whatever. I mean, there's probably if you look in L.A., it's like a $250 ticket parking. If you look at parking signs in New York City, it's laughable. Yeah, it's you. You need like the Rosetta Stone to fucking decide. And then I'm also on, I don't pay

my moving violations, but big time suspended license scam going on right now where I drive with a suspended license. That's my scam. Wait, you're still doing that scam? I'm trying though, I'm trying. But you guys got a backup plan because if you got a scam you got to have a backup plan.

And if you're scamming in New York and you can't drive you got a subway. If I'm scam. But you guys got a backup plan because if you got a scam, you got to have a backup plan. If you're scamming in New York and you can't drive, you got a subway. If I'm scamming in L.A., I'm not walking to Santa Monica, dog. I'll fucking die. There's human feces on the ground. You got a train. That's a good train backup scam. Yeah, my backup scam is then – you know what I used to try to scam is the monthly pass on uh metro north that's our that's our subway that's our train that goes out of like to the suburbs and shit okay and into the

city and you know that shit was like 400 a month to get in from my suburb when i was a kid so that's a lot of money and now it's an app uh and it has this little like the dvd thing that bounces around the screen so you can't just like flash something it has to be DVD thing that bounces around the screen. So you can't just flash something. It has to be electronic. But in the beginning, it was a piece of paper. And it had a little hologram and a color. And if you were, in the early days of Photoshop, even just proficient, you could just... You were paying a kid.

Oh, I wasn't even paying a kid. I just had a friend who did it. And then you slide it in a wallet, so you just go... You know, one of those things. Oh, I used to... And then they're like ahead. And it's go, you know, one of those things. Oh, I used to. And then they're, like, ahead. And it's, like, you're saving 500 bucks a month. There's fucking no joke.

You ever do the fake ID? Funny. To get into bars? Oh, like a real fake ID? Dude, I had a fake ID. So I had one I bought. I went to high school in Rhode Island. I had friends who lived in New York.

So we'd come down here, and, like, we'd buy them, like, in the East Village in some, like, dingy little shop. Yeah, like, what was the guy like? Because my guy would be different when we hear about your guy. But he was exactly what you expect. I don't know, because I'm from California. the East Village in some, like, dingy little shop. Yeah, like, what was the guy like? Because my guy will be different when we hear about your guy. I mean, he was exactly what you expect. I don't know, because I'm from California. You guys got, like, Serbians and Middle Easterners, Albanians and shit.

No, he was an Indian guy. An Indian guy. I mean, I came all the time. I honestly don't really remember. They were exactly what you do. Like, it was just some seedy guy who, like, he'd, like, pop in here. It wasn't straight up, like, fucking. I went behind another curtain. Yeah, and then it would be, like, the DMV. It wasn't, like, I think in movies they have you hold up, like, he'd be like, pop in here. It wasn't straight up like fucking... I went behind another curtain. Yeah, and then it'd be like the DMV.

It wasn't like, I think in movies they have you hold up like the whole card. It wasn't like that, but you take your passport. Oh, no, no, that's silly. Yeah, it would be like they'd have a little white thing behind you or whatever color it needed to be and take the picture. Yeah, and you'd be like, back in an hour or whatever it was. But what we would have, what we'd do, because some places would have, you need two forms of ID.

Oh, yeah. So we would turn, and i can't believe this ever worked we would turn our high school ids into we would change our birthday on our high school id nice so like i'm born 88 and i would like scratch i get like a fucking swiss army knife and scratch off to make it look like 83 yeah and i was like have your dog bite it a couple times? It's like, what? My only other form of ID is my high school. And so you're like a 22-year-old carrying around your high school ID from five years ago. People are like, I guess.

Okay. But then the other, this was a smart scam I would do, is I would have, oh, no, I did this when I had my fake passport. I had a fake passport for a while. That's highly illegal. That's a level. That is scary shit. That is a scam that ends you up behind bars. Yeah, I did this when I had my fake passport. I had a fake passport for a while. That's highly illegal. That's a level of scary shit. That is a scam that turns you up behind bars.

Yeah, I told this story. Hey, buddy, come in here. I'll tell it briefly. I was in Tallahassee. I went to FSU. And I was at the only 21-plus bar in Tallahassee. Everything else was 18-plus. They would raid it occasionally to find underage kids.

And it gets raided by the FBI. And I'm standing there at the bar with a beer in my hand and I'm like, what am I going to do right now? Should I just take the minor in possession or am I going to show this guy my fucking fake passport? Passport?

That's human trafficking shit. And I like fucking, I like one touch the rest of my beer, get a little liquid confidence and I'm like, here you go, bro. I take the passport out and he's looking at it

and looking at me and looking at it and looking at me and I'm like, I'm go, bro. I take the passport out. And he's looking at it and looking at me and looking at it and looking at me. And I'm like, whew, I'm going to jail tonight. Fuck. Like, made the wrong decision there. And as he's kind of figuring out what he's going to do, some drunk kid just punches a cop. And he, like, throws it back at me and runs over and attacks me.

Scam averted. Divine intervention on that one. I was like, that's my boy right there. Love assaulting an officer. The first illegal ID we used to use when my buddy had one, and you know you can name yourself in it. Yeah. He named himself Vladimir Pop-Up.

It was from Florida because Florida back in the day still had paper IDs. But then my first one, because that one got bumped pretty early. How old are you? I'm 33. Okay. So... We were in Delaware. Delaware was the easy one for me. Is that paper? Because they used to have paper ones. You could print that bitch. I think Florida had a paper ID for a while.

Very standard fucking... No holograms, no nothing. Very basic. So then we go, okay, who was the oldest looking dude? It was always me. I'm very... You know, it's like the Anderson Cooper vibe where I went gray at like 13. That's exactly who I think of. I think you do. I think Anderson Cooper.

A lot of people do. Very suave. You look like you rolled over out of the Vanderbilt family. I fixed their pipes, though. I've been in their house. Their toilets are nice. Let me tell you. Their toilets are nice, boy. I've been in their house. Their toilets are nice. Let me tell you. Their toilets are nice, boy.

I cut them things clean. This whole conversation started in debt collections. Like, yeah, I'm like a Vanderbilt. I've been there. I've met them. They don't talk to me. Have you really been there? No, no.

Oh, all right. No, I was just a plumber for a long time. So then I go to make my own. And we went to this, like, weird picture shop. And then the guy goes, I'm going to pick you up. And I'm expecting a taken kind of guy, like Eastern European. This dude pulls up in – this is like 2007. So he pulls up in an H1.

Remember those? Yeah. The Hummers, the small Hummers. And he comes out, and he's Tex-Mexed out. Giant hat. He's got the snake head shoes where he walks like the fucking guy. And I went to his house, and he had a whole setup, like a real deal machine. And I had that thing for so long. Oh, it was beautiful.

I still think about it to this day. It's not as fun giving an ID when it's not legal. There's a little bit of a rush that you get. Oh, yeah, maybe. I was very lucky. I had my brother who's older than me. So when he got... Kind of like you?

Yeah, enough so. So when he got his, like... I think he just said, I lost my ID. Got a new one, gave me his. So these guys always bust my balls. Because right before he did that, I took his fake ID. Yeah. So he's four years older he needed to be four years older when he was like 18 to be like 21 oh you took his fake id his fake effort so when he got a fake fake id so when he was yes so when he was 21 he gave me his fake at first and then was like in a few months i'll say i lost this you can

have the real one but for now here you go that shit said 1978 on it they fucked up my passport my literal one said 1963 no way no one ever checked it dude so god it's just i don't know what you do with that but that's why you still use it i get scared but i'll go anywhere very cool you should get like some fucking like aarp social that'll be great too you look great for your age dude my uh my friends when they went and got fake ids though i wish i was a part of this but i had my brother's real one they uh it was heavy 50 cent g unit era and we were big time tall you thought we were thought we were rappers like people wearing the gunit shirts. Did you guys have a rap group going up?

I did not. I had one. Malibu Sippin'. Malibu Sippin'? You spit bars? It was very Mac Dre, kind of like, it was me, I had two groups of friends. They were strictly fisticuffs and pet her name. Very good name.

They beat us on the name. They beat me on the name, and honestly, where could we go from there? And then we were Malibu Simmons. I don't know, Malibu Simmons is pretty good. It was pretty fun. We used to record in the backseat of my buddy's car. But keep going. So these guys went and got three fake IDs.

One dude made his name Curtis Jackson. White or black? White. He's a white player. Nice, nice, nice. Hockey players. Curtis Jackson, Lloyd Banks, and then the last guy was Anthony Yayo. Tony Yayo.

Tony Yayo. This is Anthony. And, like, nobody ever really caught on. In New York, too? Yeah, it was very strange. I think that's just how you know they're going, ah, ah, ah. Were you at the G-Unit Shoes? Oh, we had it all, dude.

The shoes, the shirt that looked like a gun holster. Dude, I heard a guy listening to 50 Cent's Get Rich or Die Train today. Coming here. Dude, you know maybe why? It was like the anniversary like a week ago. Oh, the album? I think it was the 20. Yeah, like very recently.

I think it was the 20 year. Does that make sense? That could be it. That's what, 2023? No, because I was in high school. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. It could be 2003. Really?

Yes. Yes, because I was definitely. I would have guessed it. I was in high school. 2003. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It could be 2003. Really? Yes. Yes, because I was definitely – I would have guessed 2005. I was in high school. 2003. Yeah, I would have guessed 2003 before I went to – Bro, that is a classic album. Remember, just you be driving, Winksta would be everywhere, bro.

That album is no misses. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. What's your go-to hit? Because I already got mine. Easy. Off, Give Rich or Die Trying. If you got one song. Many Men. Many fucking minutes. Dude, I am a god with that shit. Because I already got mine easy off give it to die trying if you got one song many men

That is we talk about your favorite songs that's a subjective thing no no many men is the correct answer to that question I'll be buried too many men Wish I Wish I lived that lifestyle more than my lifestyle just so I could be like – I could actually listen to Many Men and be like, yeah, man. Yes. Yes. I'd give up all this cushy shit just to be able to be like, yeah, man. But I do feel it.

But I'll say this. It translates. It translates. Many men do wish death upon you. That is true. It can't be in the business. So now I'm living it. You're right.

Yeah. You're right. It's not in the same vein as – Yeah, and I'm not going to shoot people and shit. No. But people are wishing death upon you People are coming for your job. If you're a finance guy, people are trying to take your desk. If you're a fucking zoologist,

some of that new guy is trying to take the monkeys from you. Miniman translates to anything you got. Someone's fucking coming for you, bro. That's a great point. So now it does work. Oh, it's so good. But it does. I you could you could pick any song you could fucking throw a dart you say a name off that that album like okay i could do

almost every bar you know i could patiently wait oh oh i i i i liked it fine i'm not a big rap guy but i i did like i couldn't name any other one actually grew up white i was it was many men is like i, that's a fine one. You could tell. I couldn't. In the club's on that, right? Is Candy Shop on that? No.

Get out. That's later. That's the next one. Massacre. But the, we had my buddy, his mom passed away. And we drove up to, like, go, like, you know know be boys and kind of take care of them kind of deal and we're like yo man let's get your mind off this like let's go let's go see gay richard die trying in theaters oh movie was pretty good too what's the opening scene bro

yeah he's burying his mom take a bathroom break me and my buddy drove up and our buddy whose mom had passed away sit in the middle of us and we Take a bathroom break We'll be good Take a bathroom break It was me Me and my buddy Drove up And our buddy Whose mom had passed away Sat in the middle of us

And we were like You gotta be Fucking kidding me dude Like It was the most Uncomfortable Four minutes Of my entire life

Yeah that's wrong I mean Like my style 21 questions Don't push me 21 questions Tell me you don't Put that to a girl

Right now I remember that I missed it. If I was down, yeah. That snippet. It was a snippet that leaked. So good. And it was like 30 seconds.

And it was weird because it was like kind of sing-songy. And it was like, it was a little bit romantic. And I was like, what the fuck is this? It was very romantic. It was so good, dude. You know what I was saying? Many men. Heat.

Gotta make it to heaven. Back down. What up, gangsta? In the club. If I can't, poor Lil' Rich. High all the time. Pimp. Back down. What up, gangsta? In the club. If I can't, poor Lil' Rich. High all the time. Pimp. I mean, they're all like...

If I can't, if I can't. And then the skits were good, too, because half of them, he's like, fucking up Ja Rule. And that shit made my dick hard as a little kid. I was like, you're going to have Ja Rule? He's the biggest dude in the fucking world. Do you remember the G-Unit mixtapes? Not even the albums. The fuck ass.

Yeah, Dat Piff. Is that you? Is that you, Ja? I used to fuck with Dat you yeah yeah that was very lloyd banks lloyd banks was big lloyd banks is kind of i maintain i think lloyd banks got stepped on a little bit i think 50 cent wanted to keep it i think 50 cent knew that lloyd banks had some of the most clever raps like ever written yeah And I think if he got the full push, I think he would have been regarded as...

Yeah, and I think they were like, I'm the star. Well, they said Lil Wayne did that with Cash Money, Young Money. Yep. And they put a lot of people down. After he fucking jacked his entire style from Gilly the Kid. Oh, wait, wait. You can't go after Lil Wayne, the greatest rapper of all time. We don't got to do this.

Listen, I love Lil Wayne. He stole his flow from Gilly. It's just a fact. If you listen to Gilly on BET in the basement with his freestyle, it is exactly Lil Wayne. But I would say there's two different Lil Waynes. But also Lil Wayne took it. There's written Lil Wayne, and then there's off the top Lil Wayne.

Written Lil Wayne was like kind of the hot boys, bling bling kind of shit. It was good. But then when he started going on other people, nothing is fucking cooler in the world than about the five year stretch that Lil Wayne had. When there was a hot song, he went on that song and then rapped harder than everybody else. Could you imagine like if someone came in when you weren't working, did your podcast here and fucking buried you

my day off dude i didn't know we were working it took me a month to make that song could you imagine somebody being like all right answer the internet let's do it just doing our whole shit blow us out of the water i was listening to uh do you guys come up with the answer in it yeah my god you guys fucking shit bro we do it we do it all i love it all love it all um i was listening to i've been listening to this hip-hop podcast a lot i keep referencing on the show called reflections of a dj road and they were talking about the old school like days of rap at the source magazine and all that shit the guys at the Source had Illmatic nine months before it came out and just, like, sat on it and, like, waited and did the right thing. But what I found out was it leaked, like, ahead of time.

So when it finally dropped, there was no, like, fanfare because everyone was like, we've been listening to this for, like, months. And so a lot of, like, the kind of argument about Jay-Z and Nas and how big Nas is and all that. And record sales, you look at the numbers, they're not good. But it's like, because it leaked. Could you imagine having an album right now for nine months? It would leak in nine minutes. The leak back then was like a nice handshake.

You give a homie, you'd be like, here's a CD. You weren't downloading off of Dat Piff when fucking he was around. You know what I did senior year of high school? I needed to make some money for spring break to go to Acapulco. Love that sentence. And I scammed the Blueprint 2. It was the double CD. And I printed.

I remember this, sir. I fucking burned all the CDs. I printed out, like, one sheet of the cover. I stuck it in, and then I glued the CD cases together because it was a double CD, and I sold them. That's a high-class bootleg, though. That is. You had an art. You were doing art.

I was giving you a full double CD that opened up both ways, you know, and had every fucking song. I was doing just a Sharpie, Big Pimpin', done, and I gave it to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the best, though. It's just gone. Yeah. Like, you'll never know that again. You'll never know.

You know, albums either don't leak, there's no bootlegs, and if there are, it's streaming. And the remixes and all that shit, those aren't, that are not real. Like, you don't get to listen to those. You know what, V? I was thinking about recently, and it's funny that this has kind of come up now, you saying you grew up actually white. I like punk rock.

I like pop punk. I like pop punk. And I think I've realized that now, because we were all raised on either pop punk or rap, every internet personality is either pop punk or rap. You're one or the other. It is either like, I'm sad, please like me. Or this is what I think, I don't give a fuck about you.

That's such an excellent point of view. That's how we were raised and you're one or the other. It's a valid point. It's a valid point. And if you mix them. I know where we fall. And then just like politics, the guy in the middle is right like if you can make the pop punk guys a little bit sad so he's listening to like uh fucking like nickelback just like childish gambino maybe childish gambino's a little sad

boy shit a little bit of both there that's a great that's a great uh observation there johnny i was thinking um what was it you you texted me something recently, and I replied to it with, welcome to my life. Oh, you had diarrhea. I'm going to take some of your warm beer. Yeah, you can take it. I'm on one. Be honest. And I replied.

I just sent you the video. Welcome to my life. I forgot it was. I thought it was something a lot more serious than you had diarrhea. And I replied to you with the video to welcome it to my life. And it was, do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place? Like someone, somehow you just don't belong and no one understands you.

I was like, oh, that's like the podcast sometimes. It's your punk rock or your rap and that's your whole personality. I actually the podcast sometimes. It's your punk rock or your rap, and that's your whole personality. I actually hate that phrase, like it's your whole personality. It accidentally is. Yeah, it becomes. I mean, music, it does become like who you are because it's what you end up wearing. It's what you end up listening to, singing in your car. It's what you're feeling, you know what I mean?

When you're walking down the street with your headphones in, you can be like, my dad doesn't love me. Or you can be like, many men wish death upon me. I'm looking at every motherfucker at the stop sign. Like, you wish you were me. Get me today, Jack. Man, fucking good old days. What do you think of rap now? I'm still in it.

I'm not in it. I'm too old to get like two i mean soundcloud is so five years ago but like the guys getting to where it's like almost all ad libs now like yeah yeah like the playbook already that's where my line stops my line stops so so much further than that why are you were you a young thug guy no not even bro i mean i'm a little older than you so like i i mean i really, I really, that whole genre, I'm just like. The Bumble rap you're out on. Out.

21 Savage? Eh. 21 Savage just has a very, people gasp when I say this, but it's a very, like. Yes. Childish flow to me. Like, you know what the thing is? The thing is, is if you kill someone or, like, do stuff like that, you could be a worse rapper. The worst person you were, like Gucci Mane.

Gucci Mane was pretty fucked up for a long time before he did it. And that's how bad of a rapper he was. And then I was like, I'm in, dog. Whatever you did. Because what you're saying is actually true. But then you got Logic, who's a great rapper. But he's like a bald dork guy at 24.

I don't want to hear this shit. Oh, and he's like doing the punk shit, like crying about his dad. Yeah, he's crying about his dad. You don't do that here. Can't be in that lane. No one wants that lane. That's sad stuff. When did you get into comedy?

How old? 22. 22. So you got like 10 years under your belt, 11 years under your belt? Is that? Yeah, 11. 11. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Started a place called Laps and Lumen in Sacramento. Where'd you go to school? Sac State. Sac State. I only did it. You like Sacramento through and through, right? 916, come with 9-inch dicks. We out here playing.

Yay! Come say something. 69420, Plumbers Union. We're out here. Call your mama. Tell her you're calling me. We out here, baby. Favorite plumbers, favorite plumber.

Let's go. Your mom knows about me. We out here, baby. Favorite plumber's favorite plumber. Let's go. Your mom knows about me, dog. Fix the pipes. Nah, yeah, yeah. You know, I always felt, everyone says I kind of had an East Coast vibe. And it's kind of like, I feel like Sacramento's always dumped on in California. You know, you got your older brother, San Francisco. Then you got your way fucking cooler brother, LA.

So it was a great place to start. Started there, then went to San Francisco, then went to LA. Cali through and through. Never did the East Coast. I've done it with Bert or Bobby or Andrew. I've never done it out here. And I felt it would have been more my vibe,

but one's a five-hour drive from my parents if I got a bad fucking day so I'm gonna go home the other is like a six seven hour flight see everybody's still got a little I love you dad oh my parents were great I have no my parents were good yeah good um very blue collar my dad was a um plumber and then he but like you ever got like how you pause I think we all could have guessed Yeah I mean he was like But he's more than that My dad was a Biochemical engineer Nah but he was more than that

He was like a genius He could do anything And I would be his assistant In everything I did So you Obviously being a plumber for a while Are pretty I'm pretty handy

You're a little plumber nepo baby Yeah Yeah I'm a nepo baby Yeah I'm a jiffy lube nepo baby I'm gonna be managing one of them real quick, dog. I feel like nepo babies. You think a nepo baby blue collar has more nepo babies than anyone.

I mean, they keep it as a fucking in-house empire. Unions? Unions are nepo. Get off Jamie Lee Curtis' dick, bro. You're a nepo baby. Yeah, I would have been one. I would have been working the city of Sacramento with an orange shirt, fixing the streets. The minute, all it takes is you need one family member with a college degree to have like –

Or like a fake uncle. And then it's like, oh, you're the captain of this or the leader of that. And then it's like your nephews are getting in and your kids' kids are getting in. Everyone's getting paid off. You know what the worst part of that shit, though, is? In nepotism in art, even if the person's not talented, they can keep going. Whereas, like, you got the blue collar, then you're like, fuck, I give Danny a job. He's a goddamn sweeping the floors at night for five years.

Right, right. He can't do this. He can't do this. He's an idiot. I was a nepo baby for a fucking – I can't even know. It was like a – Accounting? Huh?

Accounting? No. Finance? No, no, no. I mean insurance, insurance. No, no, no. I was a nepo baby for fucking digging holes basically. It was –

Who in the family is digging holes? My uncle – but it's a fake uncle – owned a construction company on the vineyard where it was like, you dug a line for cable. Got it. It's hard as fuck. I remember we were digging for a beach house in the sand, digging a hole for a fucking septic tank or something like that. Bro, these people were furious. I was there. I bet. they're like

you just nothing but in the way shovels just you're oh the neighbors what the fuck is this kid doing here I couldn't dig I couldn't bro I just

yeah like you're literally a waste of time bro it was get out of the way and let me dig it pouring rain it was like it was like

they're like just let us dig the fucking hole I'm just dumping sand back into the hole cause we're digging it in a dune and I'm just filling it. And I have never seen three grown men freak out. Yeah, there's no place meaner than five guys holding a hammer.

They will bang your fucking head into the ground. I was like 19. How the fuck did you get a job? I don't know, dude. Your uncle's like, we're not related. We're not actual uncles. We're the other kind of uncle. Nepo babies, I think, are... I'm going to rebrand them as just like your parents actually loved you and took care of you and gave you something.

Okay, go. Well, I'm just saying that my dad is very handy. He could do electrical work, mechanic work. Yeah, my dad's fucking incredible. He's an artist. I think he got a degree in nuclear fucking science. He was working in the engine room in the merchant marines, all this shit. But I remember growing up, I thought a hammer, I called it the damn hammer.

My dad, I'd be like, where's the damn hammer? Because my dad would always be like, what's the damn hammer? So I thought it was called the damn hammer. So I was always around him when he was doing shit, but he was never like, here's how to do it shit but he was never like here's how to do it it was more like here's how to do it yeah they take it from then i'm just a fucking i'm you i mean we are used to this day i still get a panic attack between a phillips and a screwdriver oh i'm like i know the difference but i don't know if he's gonna fucking get mad at me i know i know it's a star. Dad, is it a star? He's like, you're 33 years old.

It's a star. Okay, so this is my thing about nepotism, right? Nepotism is good in life. Yeah. I don't think nepotism should be an art. Art and sports are supposed to be things that are performance-based. That's what they exist for. That's the thing you think about the American dream. The American dream ain't going to be you working for some company

doing your thing. The American dream is going to be are you an incredible athlete and you're able to build yourself out of something or are you an artist and that you were able to create art that spoke to people normally from your downtrodden type of people and that's what bothered me because art right now is just nepotism.

Yeah. It's just rich kids, kids doing shit. Are there. So I obviously, I didn't, I know it was a New York magazine or New York or whatever it was that like put out, like basically it was just like,

Hey, but you didn't know these people had parents, which is also a fun thing. I think in the indie music scene, they let, they're always like, go check out your favorite indie artist music page. I bet both their parents have Wikipedias themselves. It's like everyone's a monster.

Whether or not you're a front man for a band, you might be a producer. Also, art's a lot easier to create when you don't got to pay rent. That's the thing. I was just going to say, the ones that come to pay rent yeah that's the thing is like good i was just gonna say like the ones that come to mind i actually think are good like colin hanks i think is fucking great i love orange uh orange county fire movie fire everything colin hanks has been 10 out of 10 the chad hanks though a little bit better oh no wait what way we're going that interview he had with z way fire zy way you. You seen that one? No. Z-I-W-E.

She had a show on HBO or Showtime. She roasted that fool. And he was so just a man that has taken shots to the chin his whole life. She kept throwing it to him, and he just was like, eat it. Eat it. You're an idiot. Okay, I got money, though. Yeah, you can't rap.

Well, this bar's fire. I'm like, oh, Pac-. Okay, I got money, though. Yeah? Yeah, you can't rap. Well, this bar's fire. I'm like, oh, Pac-Man and this bitch killing it right now. Dude, I actually just watched his... But he was going through his patois phase. Rock, boy, pop my clout. He was doing that. Pussy, pussy man. He was Jamaican.

He was doing it. I'm like... Yes. Remember when he did White Boy Summer? What was it? Remember? Yeah, White Boy Summer? Or what was it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. White Boy Summer. White Boy Summer.

And then he made the merch, and it looked very... Very Third Reich. Very Third Reich. But then you know what he did? He pulled it down. He was like, he was making a video on the beach. He's like, so the merch came out, and I've listened to the feedback, and I understand that the way I intended it to come out was not really received.

We're going to change. I love he's on a beach too He's like drinking a margarita You know things are tough For everybody right now We're all in this together Wagwan I actually just watched his

I forgot he was in Curb I just watched him in Curb the other day He's Jeff's daughter's wife Yeah All he does is like shake his hand I think, but it's funny knowing. No, because then he has a PTSD attack. Oh, later. That is so good.

Fuck, what do you call it? Civil War reenactment. Yep. I love, I love. See, that's like, if I was a Nepo baby, I'd be like that. What's the point of being a Nepo baby and not just taking a road? Are there any Nepo babies that come to mind that are bad, though? And I don't know.

Absolutely. I don't want to roast one. There's so more successful than I am. It's not a lot of comedy. No, I'm wrong. Yeah, very wrong. Okay. I can attack one guy.

No one likes him anymore. Chris D'Elia's dad's incredibly important. Who's that? Really? Yeah, he was one of the heads of CBS one time for a while. No shit. Also, Nick Kroll's dad is one. He's a fun guy.

He's just money. Julie Louis-Dreyfus is a billionaire. Yeah. Julie Louis-Dreyfus was a billionaire before she saw Residuals for Seinfeld. But she's dumbass talented, though. She's crazy. Like, if you got a netball baby and it's not like they're singing over a beat that you bought for 400 grand from fucking DJ Mustard and all this kind of stuff. Dua Lipa. And then

like... Really? Yeah, her dad is dumb. Way more Dua Lipa than I thought. Go through it and it'll blow your mind. Who is... Is it like an executive? Yeah, he's just very important. Because I also think there's also a difference. Because to me,

that's just having a rich dad. Yeah. I mean, if it's in the industry it's nepotism no doubt i get that but i think there's a very big difference between like my dad is an executive or a producer or owns the label whatever versus like my dad is you know like a plumbing magnate yeah he still wouldn't be able to help you. To take it to sports, like LeBron and Bronny. They play basketball. Well, that's nepotism in the highest form. That kid's scoring 13 points and five rebounds a day,

and he's on the fucking All-American team. They're selling out Calabasas teams, dog. We're like, what NBA team will he play on with LeBron? I was like, is he good enough to make the NBA? I didn't read the article, but The Athletic put out one the other day. It says he's a four-star recruit with a five-star name. He ain't even a four-star, bro. Yeah, they're probably bumping him up, too.

His stats are crazy. It's like, imagine the people that, like, you're fucking playing Compton High, and you're dropping 25 a game, 7-7, and everyone's looking at this guy, and you've just got to be losing your fucking mind. And listen, if it's in a business, you're an accountant or you got a plumbing firm

and you do it, it's different than if it's a thing that's supposed to be based off marriage. I also don't get though, like what are you supposed to do? Say no?

Because again, Yeah, you don't get to do it. You're out, dog. You're out. I think, what's Puffy's kid's name? Prince Combs or something like that? Was he supposed to go to USC? Wasn't it him and

Snoop Dogg's kid went to USC? And then Lil Romeo went to USC too, right? Lil Romeo was a good one. Who's his dad? Big Romeo. But if it's like, my dad used to rap and now he passed me the mic, I can understand that being like, get the fuck out of here. If it's like I'm trying to be a rapper and my dad is in the music industry so I get some studio time or some connections, fuck it.

And then you have to be good. But be good. And then run with it. Here's what I would do to boil it. Yeah. And then you have to be good. But be good. And run with it. I think what – here's what I would do to boil it all down. I would definitely like accept my nepo baby role and I would go after it and I would have – you have to have the self-awareness to know if it's working or not. And the minute that it's not, be like, okay, dad, teach me how to do like the side of it or let me go do something totally else and different. But what the fuck's the point of... Yeah, lineage.

Yeah, it's like, what am I even fucking doing if my kids aren't going to use what I've built? I just hope that they're a little bit embarrassed. That's all I want. Just be a little bit embarrassed. Just know you did this because of what you got. Just say it. Just say, be like, hey, my dance poppin'.

I am so blessed. And I know that I get beats that I don't deserve or I'm on stage at places I don't deserve but I love the art form or whatever. Talk all that shit up. I think you'd still get shit on but I think a lot more people would be like, okay.

Yeah, don't be like, came from the sticks dog, no one believed in me. Don't be Travis Kelsey having a shoot call. Nobody believes in us! Four, fifteen, and two, no one fucking believes in us. Now, don't get me wrong, the Patriots, I believe it was the 0-4 Pats,

were like the ultimate of that. Like, Rodney Harrison was driving the bus. Nobody believed in us. Not a single bus. He won three or four. I was going to say, you have a dynasty already. And he was like, no one. Everyone counted us out. No one thought we were going to win. I love Rodney Harrison, too.

And I'll tell you what. I was like 13 being like, talk to him, Rodney. Talk to him. No one believed in us. That's me. 31. I think it was 31. Fucking assholes.

I hate you guys So god damn much So you've been a New York fan The whole time Yeah the whole time Giants? No Jets Mets Oh I like that See that's why I fuck with you bro

Cause those are terrible teams Terrible You got You are One of the rare Cities that I believe I and my fellow

Mets Jets fans Mets J, Knicks fans have it worse than anybody in the world because we are a two-sport city. So not only have we sucked and lost forever, but I had to live through the Yankees dynasty. I got to live through multiple giant Super Bowls, including two of the biggest ever.

Always what we wanted was happening across town. I mean, the Kings. When you guys lose, your whole city loses together. Bro, we have hologram projections that still put up 2002 Pacific Champs. That's on buildings where I'm from to this day. And then I have to watch these guys. But it's not like when you walk around in your own city. Like, when the Yankees win or the Mets lose, in my own life, I step outside and people are like, you fucking loser.

That's true. The girls I date, the guys I hang out with, the places I work, all of that. It's just like, we won another championship. You fucking suck. That's true. We did have the Warriors, though. So I was going to ask. And then there's a lot of flip-flopping motherfuckers that you'll go back to a party.

And I'm like, you're wearing a fucking Warriors hat right now, bro? You went to high school with me. What planet are you on, dog? That would be like if the Nets panned out and had like a dynasty, if all of a sudden there was Knicks fans. But I'll tell you, in our city, the Nets never were and never will be anything. Even when the big three started, the first time with KG and Paul Pierce, we were like, don't care. The next one, we were like, not going to work.

So this is all to say, I still will maintain having Big Brother right in your face. Fucking sucks. That's worse. But Sacramento is up there. Minnesota is up there. Minnesota got the Vikings. Holy shit. I mean, if that's your statement, that's pretty bad.

Minnesota got Kirk Cousins, okay? The good thing for the Kings, though, is I feel like Kevin Durant is on a quest to play for the most historically irrelevant franchises. You guys are up next. Got Oklahoma off the list. Got Brooklyn. Got Phoenix, dude. I'm happy you, yeah. Got Oklahoma off the list, got Brooklyn, got Phoenix, dude. I'm happy you brought that up.

I believe in sports. I mean, Golden State is historic. Like, the last decade they've been, but like, before that, did anybody ever fuck about Golden State? They were awful. So they're kind of, they fly in the face of my fear. Their mascot was awful. Remember that old mascot?

No. It was just a man in the, you remember the green suit from Always Sunny? Yeah, yeah. It was orange. It just ran around. No way, dude. It was so embarrassing. That's lame. You gotta bring that back. I don't remember his name. It just ran right out. No way, dude. It was so embarrassing. That's lame.

You gotta bring that back. I don't remember his name. I didn't give a fuck about them. Yeah. You know, I was just a Kings fan. They do. We got slams. They are a very, I think they're an outlier to my thought.

I think there are certain franchises that just lose, and they are just born to lose. And we'll see with the Suns this time around again. I think the Phoenix Suns, you're never going to win because you're the the Suns I think the Kings are on there like you're just the Kings no one we should have won one because that's literally everyone say we that is that's your ratings that's kind of almost better than winning they'll be like do we yeah cuz you don't know if you're actually going to win it. I was going to say, that wasn't the finals, bro. That was a W for us. You definitely were going to make it.

I think this team. You weren't going to win it. I think this team's different. Who'd like to play the Nets? Was that a good Jason Kidd year? I mean, we could have banged off the Nets with him, Richard Jefferson. Is that who it was? That's what I'm asking.

Yeah, yeah, he played that. No, I think also, was it the Philly year? I wouldn't know. I don't know. It was either Philly or the Nets year, and both those teams are dog shit. We would have banged through all of them. If you had beaten Kobe and Shaq in their prime, those Lakers years, and you did it. We did it.

You did it. The guy obviously did it. And watch. Bro, watching it when you know the refs are fucking you is exactly like nepotism. It's exactly like fucking. That's why it fucks like nepotism. It's exactly like. That's why it fucks with me so much. Because I'm like. They are screwing me over right now.

I do not deserve this. Yet there's nothing I can do. Thank you very much Jackie. That was also proven to be like Donahue. Yeah Donahue. That wasn't just like. When someone makes a bad call. And everyone goes.

It's fucking Rick. Is he Donahue or Donahue? Donahue. I don't care. Fuck him. Let him die. Rot in the fucking hell. We got a podcast now. I think he does.

Rat fuck. A podcast giving employment to the worthless for a long time. I'm one of those. Cheers, boys. To the worthless. I got one interesting thing to say. You want to listen to my podcast for 10 years? Oh, that documentary was such a bullshitter.

Scam artist, though. Yeah, he's a scammer. As a scam guy, I was like, get it, homie. Shine bright. I love a good scam. Many men. Everybody's talking. Where's that football?

Lord, I'm on. That, to me, if you run a good scam that's why i like that look at those ftx guys and and some of these finance dudes i'm like yeah i mean you just got caught and a lot of times there's poor guys that scam people once they get money like uh which i kind of like that made off i like when you ran off scammed a lot of people but he he didn't he didn't start off rich. Yeah, those guys. It's always the netball babies. It's the next generation that fucks everything up.

Yes, because it's too easy and they're not talented. In New York, there's the Dolans and the Wilpons and all these guys. And if you look, their fathers ran the sports teams. They made money elsewhere, ran the sports teams. Everything was good. Gave them to their sons. Fucking sucks because they have no concept of worth or whatever. James Dolan is using facial technology to keep people out of the garden

of anybody who works for the company that is engaging in a lawsuit with him and Cable and his company. What once you got to pay for that? You know when people are kicked out of the arena for life and it's like yeah, whatever, I'm going to come back tomorrow. They actually, I guess, have a scan that's like –

It's like a minority report. He's like, this guy was burned from a corndog machine. I heard stories of like a guy and his daughter showing up to like the circus at the garden, and it was like – Oh, you can't even go on off nights. Nope. And then they were going to like a concert, I think, and it was like, nope, you're not allowed. And he was like, I'm not even on the case. I just work for that law firm.

But I have nothing to do with him. But I'm, like, tangentially related to it. So, like, you and your daughter are, like, out. Which also, annoying and ridiculous for him. And that'd be kind of cool. Kind of. Baby, sorry. Like, daddy's not allowed in the garden.

But also, like, imagine. I was talking about Dolan. I'm, like, kind of, like. Oh, no. Fuck him, man. I mean, anybody else, I'd be like, that's a flex, but I just fucking hate him. Well, imagine doing that and your starting port guard is Isaiah Quickly. Or I guess you got Brunson.

But it's like, you should be. Brunson's been fun. I was going to say. Brunson's been fun. Put some respect on Jalen Brunson. He's fucking good. Brunson's been fun. He's about to have a baby with Iggy Azalea.

You guys will have to deal with that. Oh, really? She was like. Oh, I saw her hug him last night I'm like how'd this girl get on the fucking court She ain't in court no This ain't 10 years ago She's got that OnlyFans money now dude

Yeah she is But she's also like Beware man Don't spend your money on that Yeah that's poison shit You're not getting the goods dude No no no Cardi B was there before you

Run dog There's a demon living there I'm saying you can... I'm on the OnlyFans shit. Like, she's putting out, like, bikini pics and shit. I'm saying it's not worth it. Not really. It's like...

Because I would... Spoken like a man who dropped $12.99 a month on it. I would partake. I absolutely would partake. I haven't done it yet because I've had a girlfriend the whole time, but... Like, gay? I'm just... What it is is it's a scam to have an out with my girlfriend.

Like, hey, if we break up, Papa's dropping $300 a month on OnlyFans. You know what I mean? Like it's going to be rough, but it might not be that rough. I'm going to see a lot of people naked that I've been waiting. I got your back. Yo, I was listening. We're going to get her on the show. Adriana Cechik is coming in March, but she was on with Bert and Tom talking shop.

She calls herself a sexual athlete, and the way she talks about porn and OnlyFans and shit like that is so fucking gangster and so businesslike. It's unbelievable. If she was an athlete, she'd be an offensive lineman. A lot of pressure. Definitely CTE. She's the GOAT, too, man. She's the goat too man oh my god she's the one who kept a normal face yeah you know what i mean then get weird she never she's always um i don't want to say sober but like she doesn't ever she's never fucked up when she's filming because she's like i have to know every ounce of my body i can't be numb in any way she said she said one time she went to the doctor and was like i have i think i have like a cut in my intestines like five inches in to the right and the guy like did the scan he was like

holy fucking shit you're exactly right like she knows exactly what's going on and all that shit and like normal porn people are like i did that years ago, I never want to talk about it. No, she's... She's like, yeah, still putting up numbers, dog. So she suffered that horrible injury? You know what I'm talking about? In her butt? Yeah, well, she broke her back.

She shattered her vertebrae. Foampit. Yeah, shattered her vertebrae. And they were asking her... I hate to give away the whole interview. You should go listen to Two Bears. But the one part, they were like, so are you having sex again you're fucking again and she was like i tried to the other day and it fucked me up for like two weeks so i haven't she goes

if i could just have sex it would be fine she goes she talks in the third person she goes if i could just not be adri, I'd be okay. But I can't. She's like, this guy's fucking me. And I just all of a sudden feel myself putting my legs above my head in a pretzel. And I just can't stop myself. Like, she can't physically stop herself. But I think her OnlyFans is probably more worth it than Iggy Azalea.

That's the thing, too. It's like when I see there's a like a new porn star On something I'm like Why didn't you just go Like Like I don't know The deals or the porn But it seems like Making porn

Well that's another thing She talks about She talks about all the numbers And how it all works So if you're interested in that It's in there But I Today

Nowadays If you're hot enough Or you have whatever If you're a nepo baby If you got some reason Why people want to see you Just skirt the industry Skirt the fucking networks And whatever The studios It's kind of all art now If you're a Nepo baby, if you've got some reason why people want to see you, just skirt the industry.

Skirt the fucking networks and whatever, the studios. It's kind of all art now. I feel like it's one of those things, though. I think of it almost like any form of content creation. I think it matters what kind of person you are. Are you a go-getter? Are you going to hustle? Because I think about it like if I had a TikTok or whatever, like what do I need Barstool for?

I'd rather work here and just get a check every two weeks. I don't want to be out there fucking like figuring out how to do all my fucking logistics and all this shit and plan my own dates and plan all this shit.

I'll just fucking... Posting a reel every day is a nightmare. I want to shoot myself in the fucking face. I don't know if you're kidding or not. I'm not. I genuinely find it awful. And then I post a reel and then I gotta do it on TikTok and then I go to YouTube short and by the end I'm like, I'm done for the day.

I want to kill myself. I know there are people out there who are like you guys, you know, you're so spoiled or whatever, but it's like there is something about the weight of having to. You know what I've found? If I go on other people's shows, I rarely... I don't care.

Yeah, then I'm like, send me the clips and I'll post it and whatever. When it's my shit, I'm like, nobody cares, don't want to do it. Because there's art. No matter what you do, a piece of art to me, listen, I'm not nobody,

I don't know nothing, but to me, a piece of art is if you evoke emotion in somebody, whether they're happy, sad, or anything. And when you're doing it yourself, there's so much in it, even if it only gets 10, whether they're happy, sad, or anything. And when you're doing it yourself, there's so much in it. Even if it only gets 10,000, 20,000 views, you put it out, and then you've got to do it in four different things. And they're like, damn, this shit's popping on Instagram.

YouTube Shorts gave me 30 views. It's the same fucking thing. Why does it work? It's so annoying, dude. It drives me fucking nuts one of these days it's gotta all consolidate somehow one time I'm like

how does how's the thing so off on each but also that's why I say fuck it cause it's obviously

like it's obviously fugazi if it's like this algorithm works and that one doesn't well fuck those guys go with those guys

and just do good shit that people like. He can't fail. I think you are one of the funniest guys in the world, dude. I think – I don't mean it in a backhanded way, but I think you're one of the most underrated guys in the fucking game right now. One of those people where it's just like your money and your status and all that shit should just be fucking way higher than it is right now. And I guarantee it's going to get there if you keep doing it well obviously i respect you guys done i respect the minute man so to hear that from you and i feel the same way i feel like should be fucking famous though like you know a lot of people could say that but i think you know

recognizing when it's kind of true it's hard you got to be you know self-deprecating but also know that you're like you got the goods because it's like wait a minute hang on a second something's fucking up here because i know that i'm killing and i gotta make sure i look like an old man you know what i mean like i'm 33 but i look weathered like i slept outside for the last 10 years so like so like tiktok ain't fucking with me because there's a bunch of little kids. And they're like, who's this man about to fix my plumbing? And I was like, my dad was a plumber. I didn't know you knew that. It might be the hat.

The hat looks like a Korean war. The hat, too. Yeah. That's a veteran of NASCAR, Rusty Wallace. Baby, come see me. That does. You look like if you were wearing that hat in the bar, you'd be like, oh, he's seen some shit. Yeah, yeah.

This bar right here gives you so much clout. This is nepotism in the hat. People see you got this bar, you're like, that's a seaworthy fellow. Dude, I'd send you a nice warm beer and thank you for your service. You want one of these? I wanted to piss my pants. That's fucking great but it's coming man

it will like I mean obviously you were thank you guys for fucking with me man no fucks I texted Kevin the other day it's just funny

it's just funny if you're funny I was like do you know who I think is so fucking funny and Kevin replied Steve Peary that's exactly

what I was going to say dude the a couple I always there's a few jokes or bits in my mind that stand out that I always remember about people. You talking about WNBA players getting hot

is so, that sticks with me so much. If people aren't watching the WNBA, dog, start tuning in. I don't know if they start investing in eyelash extensions, but these big bitches are the finest women I've ever seen in my fucking life. I'll do the whole bit.

My favorite one right now is Elizabeth Cambridge. You guys peep that? She's got OnlyFans. I had to get a bigger computer screen, switch it on the side, get a whole body in there. Oh my God. She's so fine. She's dominant, dude. My favorite was everyone got mad my God. She's so fine. She's dominant, dude. And my favorite was

everyone got mad at her. She's like, she's fucking up WNBA. I'm like, it's the WNBA. What are you talking about? It's a step stone. Wait, so she legit

has only fans. She's an only fan. But I haven't paid yet. I don't know if she's getting butt naked. I guarantee. She's got the chest hat. That's the game.

She got everything. You seen the Buzz Lightyear one? No. I almost had it in my back when I was on my phone game. She got everything. You seen the Buzz Lightyear one? No. I almost had it in my back when I was on my phone. My girl got mad. I had to get an Android so it was bigger. You know what I mean?

Wait, let me find this Buzz Lightyear. Oh. Oh! Wow, right? She looks normal size. That's how hot she is. Bro. Yo.

Yo. She looks normal size, dog. Liz, yo, yo. She's like normal size, dog. Liz Cambridge would fuck you. Oh, my. You don't fuck her. She fucks you, dude. She'd put me in like a tampon. I was just doing like dance moves and shit.

Making her come a different way I've never even seen. Yo, anybody who's like, you're in the WNBA, you can't or are above OnlyFans. Dude, they will make... Girls on OnlyFans make more than superstars in... Bad Baby made the same money as Steph Curry. So don't talk to me about the WNBA payment. The worst part is in the WNBA, they're like, you make more money in Israel.

If you make more money in Israel, show your pussy in America, dog. The fuck are you doing? No doubt. I would use my WNBA career to propel my OnlyFans career, and I would retire from basketball as soon as everyone fucking subscribes. See you fucking later. All that hubbub about

they want to fly private now Because I guess certain teams You fly in commercial And it sucks Professional athletes should fly private Imagine being in a San Francisco top chick Sitting middle on fucking JetBlue And then you gotta play a game that night

You know you play day off Don't get me wrong, it sucks And in a perfect world I would love them to fly private. How the fuck are you going to fly 30 fucking teams, 15 women, 20 women, 25 with the entourage and all that shit, private for months and months and months? Where's the money coming from? Find that only thing. Also, you ever seen that South Carolina team?

No. College basketball. Wow. Miami. Do you remember South Carolina, I think it was the team this past year when we were at the Wilbur for March Madness and they were up like 51-3. Remember that? There was like

a screenshot of it. It's like making good dunking on someone. I don't know what's harder than that, but the shit is crazy. I don't know if I want you to fuck me or posterize me. If I can just guard you in the post and hit a fucking hook shot, I'm going to come. Just do Mike and drill on top of me, man. Let's go.

Just destroy me in the post, baby girl. That sticks with me everywhere I go, though. It is so fucking funny. And I feel like, I hope, the tour with Burt was probably a moment where you're like, oh, things are working. Yeah, Burt. And you're a great fit for the Burt tour. I mean, it's just. You know, Burt is just a great guy.

How long did you guys hang out with him? For that specific Amsterdam trip? Yeah, what did you do? Five days? No. No, two, two, three. Okay. So it was like a travel day, two days of partying, travel day.

So the great thing. But we've also been, then we went to the Super Bowl party with him after that. We've gotten a lot of Burt time recently, but not like... The great thing about Burt is, like I say, number one greatest person I've ever met. Show me things I've never even seen. As a man who was being a plumber's assistant, I've been on private jets,

I've done where the Pacers play, I've done Cleveland play, I've done the paint arena. But on average, I gain a pound and a half a day. That's not even a bit. So when I was gone one time, it was 20 days. I gained 25 pounds on a tour. I had to buy a new pair of pants.

That's just the vibe. You started in fucking Indiana. Ended in sweats. I was like, it had to change. So I'm still recovering from being with him. But as far as like... It's like an ex, dude. You're in a bad relationship, so your body is like physically...

You're like mad but happy. You get as fat as you can. Because we just used to eat... Him and Dave Williamson, he has this opener who's arguably one of the best barbecuers in the world yeah yeah we'd be traveling the country and we'd be eating you know lunch you'd get the best restaurant in town for lunch for a snack you'd eat barbecue ribs that were fucking time boys and these are like 500 rack of ribs this guy's making for dessert we'd go to you know there's a couple like when you like it's cool to be able to work with a few people i've worked with bobby lee andrew santino and bert are like the guys who fuck with me and it's like when you go to the

dinner with these guys they always do the thing of we'll get everything on the one of everything apps so it's like you get all these apps and you're doing this thing and it's just i've been i've been lucky to be able to fuck with some of the best people in comedy that have ever done it, like Bobby Lee, Andrew Centino, Bert Kreischer. It's been great. But Bert, you'll get some... I've built for it by being like... Yeah, I was going to say, you, I guess, carry it well.

I've never looked... I mean, when I was with Bert, I was 205. I'm 220 now. It's hard to get 225 now. But it's like nothing more in my life has been worth it. If I ended comedy of the day, the things that I thought I would have done when I started in Sacramento, go to Luna's Open Mic, Laughs Unlimited, Sacramento Punchline, I'd be done. Yeah.

And I never had the idea of – you come from a small town like that. It's not small. It a million five people i never had the idea that it would go to an arena all i ever wanted was to do so it's like i could quit now and the shit would be perfect i'm not gonna but i think i thank him and i thank those dudes all the time for showing me the world and the thing that i've never seen yeah i, I mean, the consumption is. Yeah, I know. But also, like, I think I got held up. I think they were like, who can hang?

Yeah, right. So I was going to say, like. Because I can motherfucking drink. I went for a couple days, and I dug back. I got the fastball one more time. But, like, they were on day 19. You know what I mean? Yeah.

And then kept it moving afterwards. I meet him at the Super Bowl. I've had a week to recover. He's got us doing fucking meatball luges, rolling meatballs down the ice hill. So I'm like, I don't know what's crazier, the food or the boots, you know? It's both of them. They're all top-notch, too. Because then, like, you know, I get to put in an order every day.

There's a getter. Of what you want? With Bert. There's a getter with Bert. And you don't want to go, I'm not going out there and, like, give me some babes and some shit like that. But I can get anything I want anywhere I go. So my normal thing was Casamigos Reposado. I'd smash about a bottle to four quarters, three quarters of a bottle a night.

Because the thing about Burt, people, I mean, we don't have to go on. I'll talk about Burt anyway. He switched to tequila. So people think this man is a bumbling, drunken idiot. Number one, he changed comedy in the way that you promote. He's the smartest person I've ever met in my life. Number two, he's not drunk all day.

If we got an off day, he's drunk all day. But even when he's drunk, it feels like he's in control. It's like, what kind of drunk thing? What's your drunk compared to what's a professional drunk? But if he's working he's not getting a drink to the second show right whereas i drink from eight on the only thing is that so he gets to drink the second show and we're up till six so by the time you know i'm drinking eight to six my drinks are pretty strong you know

i live off comedy store drinks when they hook us up, baby. So you're fucked up. Yeah, you get pretty fucked up by 6 a.m. Yeah. But I'm on a bus. I'm on a bus. It was crazy. No, like 6 a.m. over and over and over again. I almost think what is the better – what is the more – what am I trying to say?

Like the fact that Burt cosigns your comedy or the fact that Burt cosigns I Can Hang With You, which would you be more proud of? Well, I would say this. I would say not all the people he has open for him live this life. Right. Dave Williamson does. Shane Torres does. Those are the guys that really do it I mean just him He was like the guy

You know being like a You know bumbling guy Who gets drunk all the time I looked up to him Yeah For him to be like This guy can go on tour with me That's what's like

When we did this little thing For three years almost When we did It was three years Wow Yeah I probably lived with him For six months That's crazy

Across from a bed with them And that's what I mean, when we went He was like So happy about He started talking about doing it with other people And he was like, you know what I don't know, maybe not, because not everyone's going to be like you guys And I was like

Yeah, they can't hang People can't hang Not even the boozing and being able to hang, yes, but also, like, being able to hang, like, you're not lame, you're not annoying. You ain't got to rat on shit that's going to happen. Right, right. I mean, we're not, but publicly on purpose.

Yeah, but the idea of you getting real drunk and saying something dumb at 4.30 in the morning when someone rides a block... That's safe. It's safe. You know what's the good story? Which is, say your shit that you got to say at 4.30 in the morning. No one's's gonna get mad

because we just faced two bottles of fucking tequila. Literally the opposite of Barstool. You know, like at Barstool, I'm like, oh no, I said it and it's out and they're gonna blog about it and fucking kill me and that's it, you know? Yeah, that's the other thing. People don't realize that like,

he has like a routine like a motherfucker when it comes to like... His shit is so fucking crazy. He's working all the time. He works so much where I go i don't want to do stand-up anymore yeah like if this is stand-up but i don't want this so we have lived the life of the internet for so long and so everything we do we have cameras and phones in our face all the time 24 7 everything's content and the comedy game started to realize that. Because of Burt.

Yeah, so Burt is like, if you're not used to that, if you're just like, come see me on stage, Burt is in your face, he's got guys everywhere, and I love it. I'm like, oh, I love to see that you guys are capturing. Because you never know when the best joke's going to happen, the best moment's going to happen. But if you don't like that, it's not the life for you.

You ain't going to get in the stadium. stadium i mean you got burrs doing stadiums you got kevin hart he's a movie star but like if you want to organically build yourself like bird did it's an all day thing like people think he's a fucking drunk idiot no this man is so calculated. The second we wake up, he's doing some fucking bullshit. A radio gig in Des Moines, Iowa. Somehow I would spit in someone's face. And I got 26,000 followers. No one gives a fuck about me, but I ain't doing radio. And he does it.

And then he makes five more videos all day. It's just like. He's a savage, dude. It's like, you know, when people, when Steve Kerr would play with Jordan. Yeah. You know? And then he sees what he's doing, the shit he's talking, the way he carries himself. And you're like, maybe I'm not going to be one of the greatest. I'm going to be pretty good.

I might be a coach. I might be able to do my thing, hit some threes. If you put me together with Steph Curry, then I'll make some magic. But if that's what it takes, I'm like, fuck. It's a good level of self-awareness to be like, yo, are you in or are you out? I do think there's levels to it, though. Yeah, you don't got to change that.

It's not like all or nothing, but it is like, this is if you want it, here's how to do it. And also, nothing wrong with saying no. If you don't want to put your whole life out there, constantly film and all that shit, sure, fine. But it helps.

It fucking helps. It'll shoot you up, dog. It'll shoot your ass up. For real. We were just talking about Olivia Wilde said she commented on ASAP Rocky filming Rihanna at the Super Bowl, and she said something to the effect of, like, if you didn't already think A$AP Rocky was hot,

like, you definitely do now. Because he was, like, filming her and was, like, very proud, and it was like, he was, like, just a regular fan, even though it's, you know, baby daddy. That's the story. That's what she did. And women everywhere are like, this is trash. This is toxic.

Why are you trying to break them up? Why are you saying that? Where do you fall on this? See, this is my first beef with you. Okay. This is my first beef with the Minuteman game. You didn't find what she did impressive. Where me, they put a pregnant bitch

500 feet in the sky. Every Super Bowl don't got 50,000 pregnant bitches hanging from the fucking ceiling. What are we doing? Bruno Mars? Was he pregnant and hanging from the fucking ceiling? Apple Depop and Fergie? Get the fuck out of here.

That shit slapped, bro. If I knew going in, she was pregnant. So here's what happened to me actually, as I was watching it. I was kind of like, Rihanna's just kind of like, bouncing around. And then, I kind of saw her belly, and the kind of like bouncing around much right and then i kind of saw her belly and the people i was watching with were like she just gave birth like a month ago

that's what i thought too and i was like oh that makes sense and then someone looked it up and said no she gave birth back in may and then in my head i was like well then something else is going on here but we didn't have like nobody knew for sure and so in my head i was like maybe this is like she just gave birth but like it's not that good then you find out she's pregnant and it's like all like all back now now i changed my bar of of if that was if she was not pregnant and she did that i would say that was a lackluster performance of her i love the fucking hits but she just walked around and had a lot of dancers around her and sung if you are several months pregnant to the the amount she was showing she's probably going through the morning sickness and all that shit

then it becomes very impressive but only because of the circumstances like yes the actual visual of what was going on was not but anything Bowl. But anything you do, if people find you were pregnant doing it, if you're like, Arian Foster won the rushing title back in 2010 while he was pregnant. That was crazy. If you tie your shoes. Speaking of the WNBA earlier, that is one of my favorite things

at WNBA. When someone goes on a DL, like she's on a DL. Pregnancy. Six months her uterus. She's going to miss the 2022, 2023 season. Boom. Boom. Yeah.

It's smaller and bigger. You got to plan your fucking pregnancies. But also what's more better than like doing that shit out there? Baby during the fucking during the year. It's like, which do you want? You. Then you've got the baby during the year. It's like, which do you want? Pretty much got to wipe out a year. It sucks being a chick. It's rough, too.

And then you're like, I'm always like, just stop bitching all the time. And then they're like, Germany lets you take off 47 years after you're pregnant. I'm like, all right, you might have a reason to be bitching because you guys got fucked pretty hard. I know people who are getting pregnant. I actually like, alright, you might have a reason to be bitching because you guys got fucked pretty hard. I know people who are getting pregnant and they're like, I actually have great healthcare. We get two months off. I was like, really? Two months? I'd still be waddling, dog. If I took that kind of shit,

you wouldn't see me for a month. It is wild how much it's like slap you on the ass, get out of here, here's your baby. Even if you get fucking a C-section, it's like, alright, we sliced your fucking body open, ripped a human out of it. That's a – you got to go, what? What? That's a –

I feel like both political parties can somehow come together and be like, we should help out. Like, who's against helping pregnant women out? Like, who's this person who's like, no, we're back to work. It's like, let's give them a little while. I don't know. That's the weird shit where we are now in this country that anything can be. Hilarious, man. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.