KFC Radio - More Fire: Dragon Chains and How To Haze (and best of CCK featuring David Hasselhoff)

Episode Date: March 18, 2019

Clancy, Carrabis and Kayce decide if they would submit to hazing to be part of an exculsive club or if it's worth it to be a part of anything. On the best of CCK we hit on the dragon chains Jared used to give his girlfriends, whether or not Kayce is friends with Laura Rutledge, if "Steak & BJ Day" is a real thing, Kayce's stalker calls again, Jared may adopt a Dominican teenager, and Kayce once gave a friend the worst gift imaginable. Also, an interview with David Hasselhoff in which he talks about how Germany thinks he is a god, his friendship with Stan Lee and Muhammed Ali, and what role he is most proud of.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Today's episode is brought to you by Noom. Sticking to a weight loss plan can be hard, especially when you don't know how to handle the thoughts and obstacles that hold you back from making progress. I mean, I go to the gym, and then I cancel it, and then I diet, and then I cancel it, and I eat a cake, and I start drinking wine. I need this more than anybody. And if you do lose weight, you're prone to gain it all back. Why? Because most weight loss plans tell you what to do when you're on the plan, not after. Noom will help you lose the guilt and learn how to develop a new relationship with food and live a healthier

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What do you have to lose? Start losing weight for good. Noom.com slash KFC. CCK Podcast Monday. Let's get into it. We got a whole bunch of best ofs to get to everything from uh jared giving these hoes his dragon chain i can't wait to go what does that mean folks it means that jared used to hook up with girls in high school middle school this was middle school

middle school this was like elementary school it goes it was preschool it started in fifth grade which was elementary school and then it went sixth seventh grade. That means he used to have a chain, like a necklace, with a dragon on it. A thick chain. Thick. Thicky, thick, thick. And if you were dating JC, you were lucky enough, you got to wear the dragon chain. And then he would snatch it off your neck like fucking Akita Ali and fucking take it home. And then he would give it back to the next biddy who came along. You know, we talk a lot of shit on CCK and you

talk so much for 10 hours a week that you forget sometimes what you've talked about. I don't know if I'm ever going to forget the shame that I felt for the girls who wore Jared's dragon chain. Well, here's the thing though, Casey Smith. Let me just say this. One of the girls who wore the dragon chain

ended up on Jerry Springer. Not even the real jerry what's the security guard's name steve steve yeah she ended up on that show oh there's a spin-off of oh yeah remember the vault security guard yeah steve he got his own show he's jerry springer she was on the jerry springer he was electric i have no problem with him having his own show yeah the thing is yeah you, maybe pride and all that shit. But when you, when you, when did you have your first boyfriend? First that I like. Not like the first guy you fucked, but like your first boyfriend.

Oh, well, yeah, no. Or like the school knew, you know. Seventh grade. Right. Jared, you were probably like third grade. Uh, I think actually fifth grade. You, you had a fifth grader? Yeah.

Wait, boyfriend? When was, are you asking when's the first time you had a boyfriend yeah the first time i had a girlfriend was fourth grade yeah i think fifth grade tori tori yes so it was a weird situation because you're like you're nine but and she uh it was like not a cuck situation but it was like i was dating tori and then my best friend was also dating her at the same time and we were just cool with it. We were like, yeah, dude. Oh, so Tori's a whore.

Tori? Yeah. I mean, she's just like... We didn't know how that worked. It was just like, yeah, sometimes she would hang out with me and sometimes she would hang out with him and we were both her boyfriend.

But what... That was weird. What just happened? Fourth grade's too early. Yeah. fourth grade's too soon i i feel like my first like real boyfriend that i can like my first kiss and all that was it was seven yeah like seventh eighth grade shout out sam i love sam yeah man i i man i've i have more fond memories of like my two month relationships in middle school than of like my real, real relationship. For sure.

I came over, I moved from the Bronx to the suburbs of New York in seventh grade, sixth, seventh grade. And it was like, you're like the bad boy. I was like, Oh,

I'm from the Bronx. What's up? And these hoes were all about it. And I was like, I'm a hold your fucking hand. I'm putting my arm around you. And it was like the I'm going to hold your fucking hand. I'm going to put my arm around you. And it was like the coolest shit in the world. So granted, the dragon chain, it's a bit much.

It's not, though. It is. It is. Jared, Jared. It's not. It is. It was for the time period. It was accurate for the region of the country.

It was accurate. Translation, Jared was a bunch of white trash with his white trash friends. I wouldn't say that the region of the country, like New England, is passing out dragon tattoos. Well, Casey says the girl fucking the mummer. That's a regional thing.

Here's the difference. I can admit how weird it is. Jarrett's trying to just say, Casey, it's not about the pennant. It's about the act of having your girl wear a chain. Yeah, that's I'll give you that. What it's like. I was the dragon pennant. When the girl knows when the school knows that you're like dating.

Like we used to go out. We'd have lunchtime and then you could like it was not like recess because we're too old for that. But it was like you went outside like during fucking lunch, basically. And it was like, you know, everyone like kind of circle up and you would be like with your girl, you know, arm around her or whatever. Fucking like during fucking lunch basically. And it was like, you know, everyone would like kind of circle up and you would be like with your girl, you know, arm around her or whatever fucking like squeezing her from behind. Letter jackets. That's what we did. It was letter jackets.

There's a reason why these things are like, like throughout pop culture and throughout all that shit because you're like letting people know. It was like Monopoly. Like in seventh grade, you're not really, well, I don't know, the rock was probably like having anal sex or some shit. But at that point, you're not, like, getting your rocks off. You're not, like, fucking or anything. You're just, like, happy to have, like, puppy love

or happy to, like, let people know you got a girl or a guy. Yeah. And so that dragon chain is very representative of that. That's what I was going to say. It's a lot like Monopoly where it's, like, I had the dragon pennant. Every guy had a chain, and they were giving their chain to their girl. But it's, like, if you see the dragon pennant like that, had a chain and they were giving their chain to their girl but it's like if you see the dragon pennant like that you know that that's the rocket.

So it's like Victor had the cross and this dude had the fucking flames. It's like Game of Thrones shit. Yeah, there's House Rocket over here. House Carabas. Every girl is getting a chain if they were with a guy. That's just, I wasn't the only dude doing it. I just keep picturing like Pauly D.

Every time he starts talking about this I just picture like Pauly D. Big ass chain. Hey, that's not wasn't the only dude doing it. I just keep picturing Pauly D. Every time he starts talking about this, I just picture Pauly D. Big-ass chain. Hey, that's not a bad thing to picture. No. Shout-out to my guy, Pauly. There's still not a day in this office that I've been here that people acted crazier than when Jersey Shores. Yeah, no. I mean, the place

shut the fuck down. Their new show coming out, The Double Bachelor, Double Shot at Love, they're both bachelors, both going after probably the same chicks. If you don't think there's going to be multiple threesomes with those guys,

you're crazy. That's the whole thing. I thought that was the whole point of it. It's like, yeah, line up to get double teamed by Pauly and Vinny, basically is what

the name of that show is. In the first go-round with Jersey Shore, I'm pretty sure that that was discussed multiple times. Isn't that the new, like the Pauly dating show

that just came out? Double Shot at Love, yeah. It hasn't aired yet. I thought it did. No, it's coming out? What are my friends? Double Shot of Love, yeah. It hasn't aired yet, so. I thought it did. Oh, no. No, it's coming out. The trailer came out yesterday. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're ramping it up. And it makes it look like The Bachelor at first, and then all of a sudden it's like the rose is the fucking Italian flag and shit. Their tuxedo sleeves are ripped off. It's great stuff. They should bring back Prison Break for the situation. Oh. Rude.

That was a ricochet shot. I don't think it is. I mean, I feel like it would be, you know. Rude. That was a ricochet shot. I don't think it is. I mean, I feel like it would be, you know, rude. That was rude. I don't like that. He was very nice when he was here. He's a great guy,

but that's why I wanted him to go. Free Lori Loughlin, free Mike Sorrentino. The system is broken. The system is broken. The situation does not deserve to be broken. If the situation is on the inside and R. Kelly's on the outside,

the situation is broken. The system is broken. Lori Loughlin, R. Kelly, Lori Loughlin, same bail. Wild. Million dollar bail for Aunt Becky. The whole thing is just so dumb. We should get a GoFundMe going for Aunt Becky. She should not be on the

inside. Apparently she can pay her own bail because she's paying that much money to get her daughters in USC. You see that whole thing like the daughters are withdrawing from USC for bullying. What? No. I told you that was one of the things we

talked about this week. Bullying? Yeah. But how like if people find out that she she got paid to go to school that she was going to be bothered

by it. I'm going to go ahead and go out on a limb and say it's not because of the bullying. That's what they're going to say publicly. But they are forced

out of that. You know what's very funny is there was emails all the girls want to go to Arizona State. Yeah. And there was emails from Lori to like like, I don't know who it was. It was like, we all need to meet and get on the same page

and make sure that we have other options other than Arizona State. Yeah. It was like, you do not want your girl, who's a very pretty girl, ending up at Arizona State. What would you both be willing to do to be included into an exclusive club? What kind of club? Any club you want. Name your wager.

Like, not much. Really? I don't get up for things like that. I guess it would depend on what kind of club it is. Yeah, like. You got to tell me. I mean, you got to pick a club for me. I don't even know.

Like the Mets. Be on the Mets? Just be, like, welcomed into the Mets. Like, you're on the inner circle. I think I might decline. They could invite me. I don't want that stank on me. That's true.

What if you could be the changer of things? No. You could change that. Give me some sort of like super exclusive sex club. I'd think about it. What if it's like, oh, I guess you really don't even have interest in going to Mets games either. It's sad that like. Mets.com. Can Iool Barstool and more.

Can I please point out that we're giving Jared a completely blank slate to put whatever club on the table and all he can think of is the Mets. Like, here are my two friends. Like, what are your interests? And it's like literally nothing. Yeah, for Kevin, though, but it's like... There's KFC radio. He talks about sex all day and it's like...

Well, he talks about sex all day, but I'd rather put the Mets on the table. I couldn't be in a sex club either. I would maybe want... Like a sex club... I've heard stories of... I know a gay guy who got interviewed to be invited to orgies. Wait, what? Yeah.

Wait, that's a thing? Like gay New York City guys, like, you know, they get down. There are definitely, like, gay guys who live, like, the stereotype, you know? Sure. And you got interviewed, and they were, like, taking clothes off, and, like, and then they ask you questions and shit. Like a screening process. Yes. And then he got invited.

Like, he got the green light. That's some, like, I don't even care about then going to the orgy. I care about the high that you're gonna to get from being like, I just got accepted. These guys are rich. They're hot. They're gay.

They fuck. They're exclusive. They're picky. And they said yes to me. Like, fuck yeah. So I don't really want to go to the club, but I'd like to be of the club's caliber. You feel me?

I don't even think I'd make it to the screening. Definitely not. You want to prove to yourself that you're worthy of the club. You don't necessarily want to be in the club. Like the Soho house. And obviously in New York, it's really big. Like I would imagine the benefits of being in the Soho house are probably really awesome. But the idea that you were able to get into the Soho house is better.

More important. I mean, that's like, like, like fraternity hazing. I'm out. Like the second that someone was like, rookie, get me a beer. I'd be like, I'm going home. Yeah, nozing, I'm out. The second that someone was like, rookie, get me a beer, I'd be like, I'm going home. Yeah, no thanks. I'm out.

Especially if it was like, I'm going to fucking beat you with this stick or I'm going to stick this up your ass. Anybody who lets that sort of shit happen to them, they have no self-worth. Yeah, especially since you're what, 18, 19 years old? Dude, there's so many other things that you can do in college

besides getting sticks up your ass. I love though when people are like, no bro, at my school Greek life dominates, so you have to. You have to get fucked by something? Yeah. Well, to be fair, do you really think that a lot of people are having sex? I kind of do.

I don't feel like that. I wish we were on the radio right now so that frat guys could call in. I mean, yeah, no, hazing is definitely prevalent. I would, I, hazing is definitely prevalent. I would, I don't know. I asked again, I was not in Greek life at all.

I mean, like paddling was like the the bare minimum. Like that went that went mainstream to like movies and stuff. Like you're getting I mean, Tommy gets paddled

in this office. I wouldn't do that either. Just letting everyone know. Tommy's been catching shots left and right on the show all week long. Too bad. Sorry, I'm not going to apologize. I'm going gonna i am not saying sorry for shaming tommy smokes

because he deserves the shame i don't think there's any like rookie hazing that goes on here it's just like universal hazing oh yeah i'd be like a vet bro 10 year vet and get hazed i i've been here as long as i possibly can and i get fucking more shit than anybody yeah it's actually the opposite right it's like more people you're not getting shit then like you ain't shit new people like Dave's like afraid to you know like interact with the old people who'd be like fuck you and your mother yeah

so a little hazing again it's the same thing as the club like I don't want to be in the club I want to get accepted I don't want to get hazed but I want to be on the level where you get hazed where you're comfortable hazing me correct yeah people don't get that get hazed, but I want to be on the level where you get hazed. Where you're comfortable hazing me. Correct. You want to get the nicknames and all that. If I'm nice to you, I fucking hate you.

Or I just don't know you. If I'm polite to you, I fucking hate you. Yeah. That's right. If we're cordial, fuck you. Yeah. Big time. When we were in Atlanta and you and Fights would just shame me all day,

and I feel like in public, people would be like, what's happening? I'm like, no, no, no. It's because they love me. It's cool. We're friends. It's because if we only had one toothbrush, we would share it. I'll share that toothbrush with that slut. Whatever.

We got a lot more throughout the week here. We had a big week of nonsense, as usual. Well, there was football, too. Yeah, there was football. We had big time. We had as usual. Well, there was football, too. Yeah, there was football. We had big time. We had some actual sports talk in there. But you got happy about football. That's a breaking moment. It's probably not in the best of because no one,

it's like the news is going to change by next week anyways. But the fact that Kevin Clancy was able to smile about the New York Jets this week is massive. The Grinch's heart grew four sizes that day. We talked about fights at Casey with their middle finger game. Casey ridiculously thinks that steak and blowjob day is a real thing. No, it's not. Sorry for your bad luck.

It is. We had Jared's hypothetical kid. We had my brother's actual adopted kid. And then to wrap up the week, Casey just told the most irresponsible story I've ever heard of her buying a dog for a two-year-old. Which is a wild move. And did you know, though, that she's friends with Laura Rutledge?

Are you friends with Laura Rutledge? Again, I talked about the fact that it's a yes or no question. We could be married and we could be... Casey, are you friends with Laura Rutledge? Can you confirm? There's rumors on the internet. I just want to know.

Yes or no, you guys friends? You guys are fucking losers. Okay. I guess she's not friends with her. She might be. I heard she might scissor with her. There's a sound bite that's circulating around the internet right now about scissoring Casey Smith. The rest of today's best of is brought to you by Kite.

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You're just ridiculously stupid. Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! Is this Kevin? Welcome back! Oh, yeah, welcome Is this Kevin? Welcome back

Oh yeah man, how you doing? You good? I know you like that I know you like that Welcome, welcome, welcome What is this nonsense? They're getting wild for me God!

Damn it! Casey! Damn it! KZ! KZ just got smoked by Final Perk in the middle finger game. For those who don't know, we might have to retire the game because of that. And you know what?

I knew that BC was up to something because I did not. How long were you there? Because it restarted at one has he given you the history on this no so i was running out of breath down there i was like i hope it's off to one right now i can't breathe anymore i completely forgot so this morning fights was sitting by the elevator and i was like fight and he turned around and i got him with the middle finger i got him first but he claims that he closed his eyes before he saw the middle finger.

I would be honest. I would be honest about this. I respect the game. So he was like, if you were Medusa, I'd still be alive right now. And I was like, well, that's just bullshit. Cool, good plan right there. I mean, argue way out of that one. If you were Medusa, you wouldn't have killed me. I closed my eyes.

Hubs was sitting there, and Hubs was like, I think you got him. And then after we've argued enough about it, Hubs was like, okay, let's restart it right at once. Oh, boy, you got bullied in that negotiation. Restart? Yeah, well, I's restart it right at one. Oh boy, you got bullied in that negotiation. Restart? Yeah, well, I restarted the game because I lost.

That's what happens when you bring reason into a negotiation. You lose. The thing is, is that I'm okay with him having it because now we're 2-2

on the week. Big day tomorrow. It's a big day tomorrow. It's a big day tomorrow. I was hoping, I forgot to tell Karabas that I'm doing that. I didn't know you were there.

I was hoping Karabas wasn't going to come and be like, whose legs are here? I mean, like, I knew something was up. I mean, I saw it, like, shaking. I didn't even see it. I was like, something underneath this blanket is struggling to breathe quietly.

People that are listening to this are like, what are you guys talking about right now? But it's fine. It's to me and Fights. It's office hijinks. Which person can stuff the middle finger in the other person's face first every single day fights just popped out of underneath the blanket right in your fucking face i will say the two that he's gotten me this week between this one where he popped up and then he walked over to my desk as if he was zaz height he like crouched on his legs it was monday i think and he just like like rolled

up right in front of my desk and popped up and i think and he just like like rolled up right in front of my desk and popped up and did it and i was like i've been watching so much game of thrones like you looked like peter jinklage hey now hey now i don't like the way he said that no no no no i'm just saying he he actually has gotten me yeah i can't i can't talk my way about this one i can't i was just trying to hide behind the desk. I was just crouching. I saw Tyron Lannister right in front of me. That's what I saw when you popped up.

I can't believe I didn't even see you in there. It was getting... How long have you been in here? I did Yak. As Yak got under there. I was in there about three and a half minutes. Damn. This is tough. This is really tough.

I was all confused. I can't believe you got negotiated into restarting that game. Honestly. You beat him and he bullied you into a second chance. Well, yes. I mean, he claims that he would tell me the truth. At this point, it was like, he was like, well, it just doesn't count. I was like, well, I'm not just going to let today just not count.

He wouldn't tell you the truth. His excuse was, no, I have my eyes closed. I argued for a long time. At some point, you just have to be like, okay, all right, John Feidelberg. Good to know. I said, I was like, that's the worst excuse I've ever heard. I got you. Everyone that's sitting around me saw me get you.

Everyone had my back. And he was like, I didn't see it. I closed my eyes. And I was like, I can't reason with an irrational person. It didn't for a while. But what was I supposed to do? Say fuck you, I won. Oh, I did. And then he's like, no, you didn't. I mean, didn't

you not have the court of public opinion on your side? Yeah, but then Hubs switched over and was like, okay, well, technically if he didn't see it. And I was like, oh, so that's what we're doing now? It's like, if you don't see it, I'm just gonna walk around with my eyes closed. I wasn't actually looking at you. I was looking past you. I didn't see that. He did close his eyes immediately.

They do have ways to monitor that. Like, they can check your eye points. I forget what it's for. Yeah, I mean, I guess if you slow it down enough, right? Yeah, like, there's a way to check where exactly you're looking. I'm gonna be honest, if we get to that point in this game we are real losers like i don't i've said this before i don't know where this game started i don't know why it started i don't know who started it but fights and

i have been going strong for the last couple of weeks i got basically bullied into actually trying to compete because kevin's an asshole and, Kevin? He colluded against me. Casey was like, yo, go get, like, I want to get fights. Like, go get him. To walk over here. To come over here. And I was like, okay, I'll be right back. And I walked over.

I was like, Casey's trying to get you with the move. Yeah, and then they didn't tell me for days. Did you really think that Kevin was going to have your side over the fight side? I'm not expecting him to have my side or fight side. I'm expecting him to have just a fairness in a game that he has nothing to do with. That is true. How would it be fair if I lured him over? I always, because I felt like, I don't know, that's a good question,

but I always have your back with ball and cup league. I was trying to make the game unfair. Yeah, you did. I always have your back with ball and cup league. You know, at the end of the day, I realize it's a very tough position to be in because obviously you're married to John Feidelberg, and I am lower on that totem pole. However, it's not my fault that he didn't ask you to lure me over.

I just needed you to help me out that day. Obviously, nobody's holding anything back in this game anymore. And this is the dumbest game of all time. It is fun. It is the dumbest game of all time. It's more fun to watch them afar than it is to play, in my opinion. Oh, yeah, it's great to watch.

I mean, on whatever... It's like a, oh, shit, she got him. He's becoming trickery. He just upped the ante big time. I know. If you don't fall from the ceiling on a rapplling rope tomorrow, pow, like Spider-Man upside down.

I have an idea of what I'm going to do tomorrow, but I'm not going to say it because you're a snitch. Well, we're also on radio. Well, I don't care. I have an idea. Interesting. I'm never telling you shit again. Yes, you are.

About this game? No, I'm not. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. About this game? No, I'm not. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. You'll come crawling back. It makes Ball and Cup League look like a very, very high intelligence game. I was suspended from Ball

and Cup, and it was unjust, if you recall. Yeah, and you probably tucked your tail too. So did Hank. I did come back just because I love the game. It's not about who you're playing for. It's just about the pride of the sport. I mean, yeah, pride, proud.

It was a once-proud league. Yeah, I mean, it was better. It was better. No doubt. We used to have stars. Now we just kind of got, like, YP. YP deemed himself the mamote. The mamote.

The mamote. Most makes of all time. He's also on KFC radio today. And he is a wild boy. He compared. He was watching like HD porn the other day. Whenever YP comes on KFC radio, he talks nothing but porn. Like deep.

Immediately. Deep porn. He's a deviant bro he doesn't want to go on kfc because of the exposure that he get he wants to go on kfc radio because it's like now is my platform to just talk for the love of the game pornography for the pride yes he uh he said you know he's watching this hd porn and if you if you dabbled in that jared it sometimes is not the best thing for the actress. Yeah, no, not at all. These girls, sometimes they belong in 720p standard definition.

And then you hit them with the 4K and it's like, whoa. Yeah, it's like, damn, is that an ass cheek or a golf ball? Yeah, exactly. So there's a lot of that going on. And he was talking about some of his favorite porn from back in the day that if you hit with the HD treatment, you probably wouldn't stand up to the test of time. Yeah. So he called those porn stars the Allen Iverson of porn. Okay. And you go back and he was like, if you ever could hit old games with the advanced analytics,

you'd be thinking to yourself, damn, you know, Allen Iverson kind of took a lot of long contested twos and he really wasn't the most efficient guy out there. He's like, that's my favorite porn star from back in the day that you hit with new lighting. And he it was just so eloquent and spot on and accurate. And he backed it up with his stats and his facts. He is the great stars that he lists would not stand up to the test of time. Because, I mean, that Heather Heather Brooke is standing up to the time. Heather Brooke is standing up to the test of time. She looks like a fucking Lara Croft from PlayStation 1

Tomb Raider and it's still my favorite porn of all time. I think he was saying Tori Black, which I disagree with. I think she stands up. And there was a couple others that were just... He knows literally every single porn star ever. He's an encyclopedia of pornography. It's incredible.

We're low bar here for incredible. It's an encyclopedia of pornography. It's incredible. We're low bar here for incredible. Yeah, it's something. There is a descriptive word for it. I'm not sure if it's incredible. This in some way separates you from me. Yes, correct. I don't know which way, which direction, or if you want that.

We all watch porn. I know probably a handful of their actual names versus Yp can tell you their stage names their real names their birthplaces where they got a degree if they even got a degree like their maiden names of how many times they've been married and divorced it's it's it's honestly he found a new girl that he was like this is my new lana rhodes like she's my she's the one what's her name i don't remember and it looked like Sansa Stark. It was Game of Thrones character with his red hair. She's hot.

And he clicks on it and he's going through her Twitter. Just like, all right, I'm about to make her my new thing. And all of a sudden, out of nowhere, a picture of Buddha, Ben, Caleb, and Roan all arms around her. He was like, I'm out. She's been tarnished. When the fuck did this happen? I have no idea. I mean, I know that they went to Vegas once and they they did shoot that porn so maybe she was the girl in it they were like the extras in the background but uh he was like i can't do it

after i've seen her with buda ben wearing a lamar odom jersey i can't do it anymore that's when you know that's when you know you're kind of in deep is when you watch a porn and then you're like i'd like to see if this person has social media. Like I would like, I want to, I want to, I want to dive into their life. Yeah. I would kidnap them if I could. They are in real life. I want to see what they do in their real life.

Uh, that's, that's when you know, you're kind of, well, what's going on right now is I was gifted a Pornhub premium account. Yes. And,

um, so naturally I give it out to my, uh, my porn brothers, YP and Feidelberg. But so now we're all under one account. Matt, that, that,

that creates a recently watched and suggested for you predicament. Uh, because it suggested some shit from, for YP that was like seriously heinous. And I was like, that's what happens. Like there's three fucking born a weirdos who are using one account now. It's,

it's, it's KFC radio ask. You have to go And Born Hub. It's KFC Radio-esque. You have to go listen to that. It's deep, dark shit. Okay. I mean, if there's three people in there, then you have plausible deniability. Well, also, Fights was like, I couldn't even tell if it was me or you who watched it. Because I had seen the thumbnail, and I know how you had seen it.

Maybe it was you that watched it recently, but I had seen it before. You can look at the watch history? When you watch a video on premium, when it's done on the thumbnail, it says watched in a watermark. Oh, no. So you know. And then half the time it's like, yeah, I know I know. I remember the thumbnail. It's what lured me and my dick in in the first place right wow is there accountability in this group or is there a

deflection in this group i i it's funny because i i said um john originally said to me you know the recently watched gives me anxiety because you're gonna see what i was just watching and i was like for real dude like you would still be embarrassed around me yeah and then i went I went home that night and I was like, yeah, there's a little bit of a hesitation. Yeah. There's a little bit like, all right, let me, let me read the description. Am I going to be a weirdo? Right. You know, but I think we're all, we're like the captain planet of porn all coming together. So I think we're on the same team here. That's how I'm at when I go to hotels. I'm like, I know, I know that the hotel desk can see which videos I'm watching, and my name is on this room.

You watch the hotel porn? No. Oh, on the Wi-Fi or whatever? I thought you were saying you order. No, no, no. It's like, yo, we got a whole other discussion to have. No, no, no. I'm saying on their Wi-Fi.

I'm pretty sure we had someone call into the show and say, yeah, we can see what sites you're going to if you're on our Wi-Fi. I'm pretty sure we had someone call into the show and say, yeah, we can see what sites you're going to if you're on our Wi-Fi. And naturally, if you're in a hotel, I mean, it's come everywhere. Everywhere. So you know you're going to be. Buckets. Yeah. Buckets and buckets.

Raining from the ceiling. Yeah. Like the second. I forgot to tell you. When we were in Fort Myers, I had a suite. Oh, buddy. How many rooms could you come in? Square feet of just like. Oh, my. a suite. Oh, buddy. How many rooms could you come in? Square feet of just like.

Oh, my. It was. Oh. And that was the only hotel that we stayed in for more than one night. Oh, so you just had extra time. It was glorious. I bet. The entire trip, it was a new hotel every single night.

New adventures for me. New come to spread. It was. Oh, what a treat. Did the sprinklers go off in there? Someone actually pulled the fire alarm. They're like, I don't know what's going on there, but we need assistance.

But it's an emergency. Whatever it is, call the emergency door down and figure out something. Someone being murdered in there? Yeah, no, that was unexpected, but appreciated i mean something could be could be in there very wrong it wasn't but it sounded like it could have been

without the visual i would not run in there man the only thing worse than running into a burning building is running into a Jared Carabas hotel room. Flooded. Casey, flooded. Lakeland fire department. The real heroes. That's so disrespectful.

Say the firefighters are heroes because they run into your cum room. I mean, I wouldn't do it. Yo, big news in New York that I'm pretty pumped about. The mob is back. Oh, yeah, I heard about that. The mob is back.

What the fuck is this? Huge news. Big time resurgence in the five families and shit's going down in the mob, including, like, the de facto leader of the Gambino family now. Whacked outside of his fucking house. They shot him and they ran over him with a truck.

Wife and kids were in the house. Damn. That's some dirty, all them officers are like, that's disrespectful. Like, you do that in Manhattan. You wait until he's at work. You don't do that to someone in front of their house. He must have really made somebody fucking mad.

Seriously. But it's nice to know there's still honor amongst gangsters, you know? Yeah. I'm not going to kill you in front of your wife and kids. They'll do it in the restaurant down in the city. This happened last night? Yeah, yesterday.

And then there was something else. There was more like mafia-type shit. Oh, that guy put out a book. This guy who supposedly was an actor on The Godfather put out a book saying he watched JFK do coke off of a girl's stomach. He fought Pablo Escobar. All these ridiculous stories. He punched the tiger. Yeah, he punched Sigrid and Roy's tiger right in the face.

I think he's just a complete liar. Just crazy, crazy things that he's claiming to do. But this shit is the real deal. I mean, witnessing JFK blow lines off of a stripper's ass isn't really an outrage. But all of those things. I'm sure a lot of people did. All of those things like he's witnessed all of that. He saw that with JFK.

He got in a fight with Pablo Escobar and he punched the most famous tiger of all time in the face. The story was like Pablo Escobar like kidnapped him and was torturing him and then realized who he was and he started to reenact the scenes for him because Escobar loved the godfather and let him go.

Huh. So I don't know what's up with that guy, but this guy is dead as fuck. What was his name? Frankie Boy Cali? Francesco Frankie Boy Cali. So the mob is bad. Where was his house? Staten Island.

Near the dump. Okay. I love, I mean, obviously it's not great if you're actually in the mix of these things, but I love the fact that movies about these, about mobs are so true. It's the real deal. It's so real. Shit's real. I know, it's like sad.

You shouldn't like wish people to die, but it's like, all I'm picturing right now is the departed. It's all I can picture. I know. It's a glamorous, dangerous life. That's why it's kind of cool that it's back. Mafia's back. I mean, apparently it never left. Yeah.

Did it ever leave? Well, this shit is, this is the biggest mob assassination in a long time. Well, right. But I mean, that means things have been going like under the radar. Yeah. Well, that's this guy Gambino, the new Godfather Gambino family. When he took over, he was a lot more low profile than he took over for Gotti. So Gotti was like, you know like the fucking flashiest of them all.

Callie is the first mob boss to be slain since John Gotti ordered the murder on Paul Castellano in 1985. So that's, you know. It's been a minute. It's been a hot minute. It's been a little while since we got anybody getting whacked. 2019. The year before you were born?

What was it? 1985 did I say? The year I was born. Oh. So, 34 years. It's been a minute. What are the, like, can the police even get involved in this? Like, obviously they have to. Like, oh, well, but it's like, you don't even want to be involved.

Like, oh, shit, this guy died. I'm out. Like, we don't care. You don't want to be mixed up in the mob stuff. No, but you probably got to show your face. You know, they're all paid off, too. The cops are in on this shit. I know, but I just...

I feel like everybody's taken care of, you know? I wouldn't want anything to do with that. I'd be like, you know what? I think I'm just going to go try to pull somebody over for speeding today. Like, stay away from this. Oh, yeah. If it was up to me, I want no part of it. Like, the cops were to do the El Chapo stuff.

No, thanks. Fuck that. No way. I'm not being on the jury, and I ain't being on the investigation. Fuck. No, I can't Frankie boy, Callie and all the rest of the,

whatever's going to happen next. I didn't, I didn't see nothing. Yeah. I didn't see nothing. It's a serve. It's like, yeah,

fuck my civil duty. Yeah. Like these days, obviously with GPS and everything on their phone, like the mob game is different. Way different. It has to be. Well, this guy was old school.

So whoever killed this guy probably is already dead already. Well, they said this guy was real old school, which I guess some people didn't like. He brought over a bunch of Italian immigrants to be gangsters on the team, and he focused on the oxytrade. He only went to jail once. 16 months for extortion. And now he's dead. Yikes. So, yeah, I don't know if somebody, you know, doesn't like the old school ways, wants to get in the new school ways, or is done with the drug trade or whatever. All these things are always on the table in the shows. Yeah. how easy is it, do you think, to sort of navigate those waters in today's world

where it's like you've got eyes all over you? It's possible. The amount of laundering you need to do and the amount of deception you need to do is probably through the fucking roof. Because people know what you're up to. Yeah. They know who the mob bosses are.

And it's just like, how do you... Oh, nice car you got there. Where'd you get the money for that? Yeah. And everything's surveilled at all times now post 9-11 world probably forget about even just the internet after 9-11 it was like that uh but yeah i bet back in the day it was just like all right you pay for protection i come by you give me an envelope that's it yeah yeah no nothing that's why you have to pay off these cops because otherwise it is

absolutely impossible right so yeah the cops are in on a why you have to pay off these cops, because otherwise it is absolutely impossible. Right. So, yeah, the cops are in on a case. They have to be for it to work. For like day one. Yeah. To get your operation off the ground. But I wonder, I mean, it's a different world now. I don't know if the cops can,

that can just be as open and known. You know what I mean? I mean, I doubt it's open and known, but. But, you know, it kind of is. You know which cops are getting paid off if you're a cop? Yeah, I would imagine, right? You know, who's the fucking scumbags you work with and who aren't. Probably.

Like, you would, you know. If you're a really good scumbag, you wouldn't know. Yeah, well, that's the thing is that, you know, the guys who are low profile, who aren't driving the fancy car and all that shit, those are the guys who cruise by. Then what's the point of taking the money if you can't spend it? I know. That's, well, for the love of the game, bro, for the family. For the blood.

I guess. But if you're a cop, though, like, where's that money going? For the kids? Yeah, being the cop is a little crazy because you're just kind of willingly signing up for the mob. Yeah, like, A, you're in cahoots for the mob. Yeah. Like you're a you're you're like in cahoots with the mob. B you're taking money that I mean like if you get caught you're just fucking done. Done.

Done. Across the board. Yeah. You're in jail and they take your money. Right. So it's not even like how much. What's your number. Or you die.

Carry a bag for the mob. I wouldn't fuck with the mob. They were just like, here's 100k cash. Just bring it here. We'll walk away. Million. 10 million. I just wouldn't do it.

20 million. There's no amount of money. You can't get out. A billion. A billion dollars. With a B. A billion with a B. I just wouldn't do it.

Yes, you would. No, I wouldn't. For a billion. Yes, you would. Because then it's the same issue. Like, if you give me a billion dollars, what the fuck am I going to be able to do with that money? It's going to be like Walter White. It's going to be sitting in a fucking...

You got to be smart. You got to get yourself a car wash. I guess. Start laundering money. Can you imagine just like the adrenaline rush that you would have? You got a billion dollars? I get adrenaline rush watching Red Sox spring training baseball. That's all he needs, girl.

That's all he needs. A Red Sox game and a holiday, and that's it. That's it. An internet connection. High speed. HD. So sad. 4K.

This is 30 for Jared Karabas. I mean, it's 30 for a lot of us. There are more things in life that make you happy than what he just said. Well, literally nothing he lists that makes me happy happy i don't have my sports teams yeah i don't really want to be in the hotel because jared's been in him before so that's gross you don't want anything to do with that uh yeah i guess there's i guess most people have a little bit more in their life but honestly not much not much i i hold you to a higher standard kevin like? What do you think makes Kevin giggle? Yeah what do you think makes me happy?

I mean Jared you don't even know like I'm just even talking about on a day to day basis Like all you need is baseball That's it That's all you need Kevin needs more than just one thing Particularly because I can't watch baseball after June basically That's true

That's when all the hope is gone Mother's Day. Mother's Day every year. Motherfucker. But yeah, the mob. So how about you? Would you be like a mob boss's wife? Yeah.

Yeah, I would. Yeah, sure would. Yeah, I would. You don't want to be like a side bitch. You definitely don't want to be like... No, we had this discussion before. Because if you're in and then you know too much and then you become dispensable, then they kill you.

You can't ever be dispensable. One of the goomas. Yeah, you'd be a gooma. You can't... It's like when we talked about Pablo Escobar. If you are ever going to be involved with Pablo Escobar, you want to be the wife. All the way in.

And he might have his side action, but the side action is disposable. He might be cheating on you every single day. He might be killing all those girls, but you are the OG. You get that money and you get your life. You stay loyal. You bottom bitch.

You don't do shit wrong. Big time feminist. I wouldn't sign up for it. If you put something in front of me and were like, hey. What's your number though? Because you would. Just same way as Jared. I don't know what my number is. A lot.

There's been a lot of like number talk around this week. Um, probably not 20 mil. I'd probably to be so wait, hold on. I just have to be a wife. Do I have to do any, like I just have to be a wife.

Wow. Turn a blind eye. Yeah. You got to turn a blind eye. I would imagine maybe every now and then you're driving a bag somewhere or doing something like that. You're not like pulling the trigger. You're getting like phone calls at like one o'clock in the morning

being like, hey, flush the coke. Right. Oh, that's fine. They're on the way. Flush the coke. Do I get like safety? Yeah, I mean, you're his wife. For sure? Like no one can just come in and kidnap me? Well, I mean, I didn't cut on the mob. That's on the table. I mean, this guy was running the whole show, and he got shot. Yeah.

Usually there is honor amongst them enough to the point that they would leave the wives and children out of it, but you never know. So do I get to keep all the money if I leave? No. Or have to stay? It's like, you know, when you get out of the mob, do they give you a severance package? So really, so actually. You get a pension? No, no, no, I mean, because it's like, what, you keep asking me my price.

Like, if it's not my money anyways, then there's. You get to spend it if you're there. Oh, so I do get no, no. I mean, because it's like, what, you keep asking me my price. Like, if it's not my money anyways, then there's... You get to spend it if you're there. Oh, so I do get to spend it however I want. Yeah, you live like a lavish life. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. Probably 50. 50 mil?

Yeah. And there's really no risk for her. Anyway, like, there's criminal risk. Like, you could go to prison, but there's no, like... Eh, fuck it, whatever. I'm okay with that. I mean, like, the mob's not coming for your head. They might. they don't well I would be more

worried about he can hit like making sure you stay his main bitch yeah you got to put in a performance to keep up with a drug lord's like I feel like yeah but I feel like like I said it's like Pablo Escobar like you always read about how he had like the relationships with like the anchors and all that stuff like but

he he still always had the wife. So you just gotta be the first one. You gotta be the OG and you gotta do what you're supposed to do. And just, if he calls at 2am and says, flush the Coke, you flush the Coke. Don't ask questions. What a woman. Gotta be a down ass bitch. What a woman.

For 50 mil, you can just buy me and all my morals. This is all hypothetical. That's what we do here. I mean, hypothetically, it sounds like if I gave you 50 mil, you would do all that. To be a mob boss's wife? Yeah. I don't know. I just keep living in Hollywood world.

Like I said, when I see these things and I see these headlines that are actually happening not that far away from us, I just immediately picture like a Martin Scorsese movie. I just picture Casey now in like a leopard print dress with like a fur coat and some like way too big high heels. Way too red lipstick that doesn't match my...

Right. Oh, yeah. Big time. Big time. Nails for days. Mob wife. Oh, yeah. Got to get an accent going.

You can't say y'all. Definitely can't say y'all. No. Absolutely not. They might shoot you for that. Got to drop that. Probably got to live in like Staten Island or Jersey. Yeah, see, this is my problem is that I live in a movie when you talk about these things,

so I'm not actually seeing real life. I bet The Sopranos was pretty, you know, imagine you're Carmela or whatever her name was. I haven't seen The Sopranos. What? I'm sad. You gotta get on that. Listen. I'm not doing it.

She's busy. I'm busy. I'm big time busy right now How far are you? I just saw the purple wedding I only watched two episodes last night I only committed two hours of my life to this last night I mean I gotta catch up

But yeah That's not that crazy It's like you get in bed 11 o'clock Fire up two episodes That's not that crazy. It's like you get in bed, 11 o'clock, fire up two episodes. It's not that crazy. No, that's not crazy. I've been doing that, just not with Game of Thrones.

What are you watching? Breaking Bad again. I don't know why you just don't watch Game of Thrones. Because I don't think it's for me. You don't even know. You've never tried. But I've heard other people talk about it. I'm like, that doesn't seem like something I'd be interested in.

Then again, we're talking about Jared. He doesn't care if he's left out on April 14th. I don't give a fuck at all. That's Ellen's birthday. Shout out, Ellen. Yeah. Happy birthday, girl. Yeah.

Shout out, BC. Happy birthday, Super Producer BC. Yeah. Super is producer in the game. Yep. The most super. I still. Oh, yeah.

Today's a different holiday, too. Yeah. Casey thinks the steak and blowjob day is a real thing. It is a real thing. I've never had a steak or gotten a blowjob on steak and blowjob. Maybe down south or something. I think it's probably just like people talked about it in college and then it's just like,

oh yeah, it's a real day. Have you celebrated it? In the past? Yeah. I've never heard of anybody actually doing it. Mother's like motherfucker it's like male valentine's day yeah it's the male valentine's day it's great in theory i just don't there was no girls who were like oh so wait a minute you're gonna go out without me tonight and then later i'm gonna suck your dick yeah i've never once like had a girl be like hey babe we're celebrating steak and blowjob day today haven't dated the right girls then. Well, yeah. I am saying that.

I'm acting like the entire world does this. I'm sure that it was like somebody in college started talking about it. And then like every year it's like, oh. I would like to see. Call up if you've ever given or partaken in Staking Blowjob Day. I'm not saying that people. I'm sure people will call and be like, yeah, of course we do. I don't think that many will.

I definitely don't think that it's like you're not going to like the hallmark aisle and like there's a march 14th hallmark section for this like i'm not i'm not saying that at all but i and maybe it was more of a texas thing i don't know but i mean it is a thing i think it was a casey's crew thing yeah that's what i think was going on no no because if it was a casey's crew thing then you wouldn't know about it like it's obviously widespread enough for you to have heard about it. Yeah, that's a good point by me. Erica in Vermont, what do you got on steak and blowjob day? It definitely exists.

I cannot get away with celebrating Valentine's Day unless I commit to steak and blowjob day. Go off, queen. So you get your whole dog and pony show for Valentine's Day, full well-knowing what's coming in a month. Exactly. But I set the bar high. I'm asking for some jewelry, something expensive, and then I am all in.

Ah, so you negotiated up. You negotiated Valentine's Day up a notch. You're not just getting a card and chocolates. Exactly. Do you cook the Exactly. Do you cook the steak? Do you take him out to steak or do you let him go out with his buddies? I need these answers.

I cook him the steak or he cooks it himself. There you go. See? So basically this guy just gets head on March 14th. No, no, no. He comes home with his steak, he makes it himself and then you blow him before bed. No.

No, it's a whole production. He's looking forward to it. It's a whole production. How is it a whole production? No, like, I can't let him down. So what are you, that means you're just mailing it in all the other times? You're not trying hard back then? Oh, Kevin, stop.

Guys have to, like, ratchet it up for Valentine's Day. It's the same thing. It's like, well, yeah, you just cook her dinner every other day but valentine's day you have to make it a little bit more special i guess i just don't understand what's that's another good point by me i mean what do you what do you do erica i gotta keep him happy i mean we're married we've been together for eight years so you gotta spice it up somehow so gotta gotta find a new way right it exists i love it good for good for you and your hub sounds like things are going well for you guys maybe maybe maybe more couples need a little uh steak and blowjob day in their life

jared i mean i liked her a lot yeah that was good if i'm ever in a relationship every day is steak and blowjob day. Oh, I forgot. That's right, sir. I forgot. Let's go. You are such a tool. I literally have steak for every meal. You are such a tool. You can't make me steak and have that be, like, oh, today's special.

Not so much in New York, but in Boston, they have tons of places to get steak. I would have steak every night. You're talking to somebody that's from Texas. You don't think you can just go get a steak anytime you want? It's the whole production of it. Are you saying you can't get a steak here? I mean, you can, but it's like...

He's acting like, oh, I just get steak every day. It's a production. There are like $40 fucking steaks here. Back in Boston, it's like I get like... I don't know, you're a broke boy. Well, I mean... A $40 steak, if it's a good steak, is cheap, Jared.

Every single night is a little excessive. That's the whole point. If you want to go get a flank steak... I can go get steak tips for like $18 in Saugus. In New York, that same dish is $43. It probably stinks, but if you want a really good steak,

you have to spend money on it. I understand that. I'm saying if I want to have steak every single night, I could do that in Saugus. You can't do that in New York City. Brett from Detroit, what do you got on this made-up day that Casey celebrates? So I dig the day and the idea, but the last

caller that I just was in, there was like a bit of a paradox here. So he negotiated up Valentine's Day. So like I get jewelry, I get this, I get these things. And then my husband gets to cook himself a steak and then I'll give him a blow job. Like the scales. She was just negotiating with a blow job. Well, see, no, here's the thing that her name was Erica, right? I liked Erica.

I did not like that he has to cook his own steak like you you can't if it's so was it you who then recommended like like you then let her perfectly to water but you this is the old adage you can lead a horse to water but you can't make her drink you were like opening her mouth and trying to splash the water in like do you cook a mistake or does he get to go out with his buddies like that's it that's the win like go out with your boy have a steak drink some bourbon and then come home to a blow job like holy the jewelry you'll get like anything you ask for that's why i was saying like do you do you

cook it do you take him out or do you let him go out with your buddies there is no option on the table for me that somebody would be cooking their own steak and again i know i i keep going back to this but people in texas big time steak people like they take that you take pride in that yeah so if i know that the person i'm dating can cook a better steak than me and newsflash most of them can can, cause they just like, it's like the whole guy grill thing. Like they just pry them. I'm just going to take him out to a really nice steakhouse. Or if for some reason he would rather go out with his guy friends and do that, fine, go

have your steak and bourbon day. But it's supposed to be a day for him. It's the whole point. It's crazy. But it's like Valentine's day. It's like, yeah, you can get your boyfriend something on valentine's day but at the end of the day valentine's day is normally for the female in the relationship so it's like yeah 100 a month later give him what he wants one day a year you get it fellas if you know it's not that it's just you just it's it goes i said the same thing kevin

it's like valentine's day you might there are people out there that spoil their wives all the time but on Valentine's Day they might make it a little bit more special. March the 14th, you just make it a little bit more special. I'm going to spoil the shit out of my wife. Yeah, with all those $18 steaks you're going to be giving her.

Congrats. Something to look forward to. I hope you spend the rest of your life alone, Casey. I actually do, too. So thank you. That was very sweet. Let's take a break. We'll be back.

It's KCK on Power 85. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. I. Happy birthday. I just never understood.

It stinks being broke. Well, I mean, you did the double whammy. You got married and you had kids. I feel like for me, getting married, it's on the table. Having kids is more on the table. No. I thought, hasn't he said that before? You're not going to have kids?

No, I said I'm going to adopt a Dominican that's like eight years old. Teach him how to play with a fucking milk carton for a glove. Make sure he's awesome. I'm going to have an idea of what he's going to project to be. Kind of like if you get a puppy and they got big paws, you're going to be like, this dog's going to be fucking huge. By 8 o'clock, I'm going to be like, this kid's got a cannon. Jared's going to go pick him out.

Like, you act like you go to this shelter, and you look at him like, all right, that one's got big legs. Like, I'll take him. That's just not how that works, too. It is. They definitely have, like, baseball camps in the Dominican Republic, and they teach baseball to these kids at such a young age, and they're all, like, the eight-year-olds in the Dominican camp.

That's not an orphanage. Like, you can't be, like. It's not a grocery store for kids. Yeah, like, you don't just go sit at the Dominican and be like... Like the fresh produce, you're squeezing the tomatoes. This one feels good. Can you imagine if, like, a kid gets up to bat and he's like, that's the one. I want that one.

I mean, I could probably just end up, like, going there and he might want me to be his dad. He's like, oh, my God, is that the rocket? And I'll be like, yeah. Like, do you want to be my son? And he'll be like, of course. Kevin, you know, we were texting over the weekend. I was like, sometimes I just want to trade places with, like, people's brains. Like, I would love to be in, like, I'm like, of course. Kevin, you know, we were texting over the weekend. I was like, sometimes I just want to trade places with like people's brains. Like I would love to be in like a guy's brain one day for a dating situation.

Like that right now I've realized is nothing in comparison to just living a day in Jared's brain. You live like, like an hour in the rocket's brain. You'll be like, get me out of here. I think I would rather try to process what goes on in his brain than Marty Mush. And that's saying something. Cause Marty Mush, like you just know, it's like, i want to know how it works like jared will say things like he just did and he believes it yep dead ass and i want to know how that feels it feels great it feels great yeah so it'll just be me my dominican son in lake winnipesaukee

no mom with half your money yeah yeah well no it depends i don't know i mean we might just agree to get separated and be like, listen, I'm going to do what I do. You're going to do what you do. Just don't divorce me and take my money. And I'm just going to be up here with Pedro. He's already got a name. He's going, I'm naming him after the Pedro. He'll be like, my name is like Tom.

No, it's Pedro now. So if you said like a seven or a nine year-old, you're just going to rename him? I think he has to be named Rocket. Like government name, Rocket. Maybe I'll give him two middle names. Pedro Vladimir sounds awesome. That does sound good. But I feel like that needs to be the name.

No Carabas. Pedro Vladimir. Pedro Vladimir. That's awesome. It would be, but also... Pedro Rocket Vladimir? But also, you know that Jared will want that kid to

have his name on a Major League Baseball jersey. No. Yes, you would. No, I don't because then everyone would be like, look, he made it and you didn't. I don't want that. That's true. But he bought him, so it's a little fake. I didn't buy him. I saved him. Okay. But it's not like your DNA

or anything. Yeah. That's true. Okay. But it's not like your DNA or anything. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. He'll be your meal ticket. You know what we should do is like when he becomes like 15, we'll cut our palms open. Blood brothers? Yeah, we'll be like blood brothers. You don't want to damage the goods though. Yeah.

Well, his left hand. Also, nobody is going to think that you saved him. Everyone is going to think that. Well, no, because you're saying that you're just going to select the best one at the camp. You're not trying to save anybody. Do you think that all the best players make it? Sir, I'm eight years old. I have a happy home. I'm good. No, you're mine now.

My mom and dad, they both make money. I live in a home. We're like the king and queen of Puerto Rico. We're fine. That's cool, but have you ever seen Lake Winnipesaukee? Come with me, kid. I can throw a wimple ball 80 miles an hour and I got this fucking lake house in New Hampshire.

I mean, again, just living inside his brain would be phenomenal. I'm basically going to be living like Walt. Like once he has to change his entire life and live in a little shack in New Hampshire. But on Lake Winnipesaukee, so you won't be depressed all the time.

Burning money for heat. Let's take a quick call here on the wiffle ball. Zach from Texas, what do you got on the Rockets wiffle ball antics? Well, it's kind of crazy to come to the fence, but whenever Casey was talking about, you know, the speeds that people typically throw, I did a quick Google search like she did. Saw the exact thing she was reading off, and I clicked that link, and I ended up on Westboro High School's online newspaper. So this is an article written in 2011, and it's this guy who's talking about all sorts of wiffle ball stuff.

But, yeah, Westboro, Massachusetts, their high school is the source for the 70 mile an hour. So I think he may actually be able to throw as fast as he's saying. Thank you. I was on Guinness World Records at one point, too. I honestly, I said this, like I just Googled it and saw what it said. Yeah. I mean, obviously I didn't like, I just Googled it and saw what it said. Yeah. I mean, obviously, I don't, didn't, like,

you know, fact check it or anything. Yeah. But it is on the internet multiple times saying that it's, like, very difficult to throw a wolf ball that fast, but I wasn't there, so. They don't call me the rocket for nothing, Casey. I'll say this. I don't know how fast you threw it. It looked gas to me. There's no way I can

hit it, so that's all that matters. You know who could hit it? Alex Bregman. He did hit it. Nick Swartzen commented on that. Yeah, Nick Swartzen's been milling around on the IG quite a bit. Nick Swartzen, I would love to talk to you. He's one of my favorite stand-up comedians.

He's awesome. Yeah, I love his movies too. I think we talked about it on the show. He had a clap back on someone who commented that he was looking overweight and he was just like shut the fuck up. You're commenting on a random... He was like, yeah, I'm 40. I'm 40, bro.

Commenting on some guy's picture on his Instagram? Get a fucking life. By the way, as we wrap up here quickly, the amount of people who are commenting on Candice Swanepoel's ass for that little divot she has. I mean, if you've been around in the old school Barstool days, she was guessed that ass like twice a week.

Yeah, she's got this weird scar on her butt. It's old news. She's got a nice little divot on that left cheek. And the amount of people who are like giving her shit over that.

Candace fucking Swanepoel, Swanepoel, I don't know. Swanepoel? Like, if that girl is not immune to criticism online, who is then fucking then what are we doing here who is what's even the goddamn point of trying to look good if candace can't

even get love she is one of the hottest women on the planet she's so sexy but you know what though it's like her whole persona everything she does that's the people that are commenting on that like the only reason they're doing that is because they don't have to put pictures of themselves. Can you imagine? Of course. How much better would it be on the internet if it's like when somebody's calling Candace ugly, you also have to post a picture of your ass to do it.

You click submit and it says, please attach a photo first. Yeah, or like, that girl's so ugly, or that dude's so ugly. You know what? Show your face. Show your face, dude. Candace is all like...

She's the hottest. What? I didn't even know she was getting shit for that. She said, by the way, for those I knew about it, I didn't know why, she used to get immunizations in Africa. That's where they kept giving her a shot in the butt. Oh. Like to give her a shot in the butt.

Oh, hey. Halftime. We'll be back after the break. Take it out your pocket and show it in your life. Just the way I got away. Kiss away, got to wait. Kiss away, got to wait. If you're getting mugged from everybody you see, then hang over. All right, we're back.

Hour number two here of CCK. We were just recalling the story of Om Prasad and Super Producer BC. If you're a mail time OG, you know it. My brother got caught up in a scam where he was paying like $20 a month to fund a poor Indian kid who was absolutely legit operation. Yeah, right. It was absolutely just some like Hispanic kid from Brooklyn who was just cashing checks. It was like a company where you got to choose a kid or how did, because I know that like at Christmas time, we used to give like, like, you know,

$10 of our Christmas money or whatever to a specific kid in Africa every year. Zah, were you one of these kids? I wish. I don't, I didn't know that there, you could like fund their whole lives.

I thought you'd be like, Oh, like so and so in whatever country. What's her name? The actress? Mr. Mrs. Smith. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man. How bad did whatever country. What's her name, the actress? Mr. and Mrs. Smith?

Yeah, yeah. Angelina? Oh, man. How bad did you want to get adopted by Angelina Jolie? Oh, my goodness, dude. That would have changed my fucking life. Yeah, man. Can you imagine those kids, like, you know, there's probably everybody chilling in the village. And all of a sudden they touch down in a helicopter and they pick like three or four of you.

And the rest are just sitting there like no why not me yeah i feel like that situation actually fucks with your brain because unlike unlike unlike unlike unlike me who who was actually been exposed to like a city you go from like one extreme to the other yeah i'm sure you go from like little donkeys not seeing a car to all of a sudden fucking living in beverly hills i mean that would be weird if like you and i went and lived a a the lavish life we'd be like holy shit this is crazy when you weird if like you and I went and lived the lavish life. We'd be like, holy shit, this is crazy. When you go from like you don't have running water. I mean, obviously it's better than living in like poverty. But I bet you that those kids are kind of fucked up.

You go from hanging out with Bushmen to seeing cars. It's insane. Bushmen. You want to talk about a messy divorce. The Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt divorce. The amount of money and the amount of fucking kids they have. The biological kids and the adopted kids and they're all

different ages. Holy shit that's gotta be a mess. I feel like once you have it's not just about the money. Once you have the kids in it, it's like oh god, now you gotta but I also, as a competitive person, love the opportunity to win Christmas.

We talked about this during the holidays. It's like, hey, it's on now. I went pretty hard on Christmas. Yeah, we're going to see which house Santa loves you more at. And it's on, bitch. They're still playing with their Christmas toys in my house. Yeah, I'm sure they're awesome. They are staples.

Yeah, I mean. I got this ball pit going at my place. It's a kiddie pool filled up with balls with a slide that goes into house. Yeah, I'm sure they're awesome. They are staples. Yeah, I mean. I got this ball pit going at my place. It's a kiddie pool filled up with balls with a slide that goes into it. Yeah. It's fucking awesome, man. Keegan just slides down head first. Keegan's a fucking lunatic now these days. It's hilarious.

He just runs around eating muffins and drawing on the walls. The video of that was like all the way down your hallway. I mean, he took. Fantastic. He took it great, though. I mean, he took a marker and went ham on the walls. Because what I was doing, I was I was put lotion on Shay's skin. She's all dry skin.

And and then like Keegan, I wasn't watching him. And it's one of those things. The scariest sound in the world is apparent is silence. I was like, Keegan's been way too quiet for like seven minutes like what's going on and uh yeah marker all up and down the wall so i texted i showed the video to my parents just showing them like a funny video uh i guess they thought it was a crayon and you know crayons a lot harder to get out yeah so my mom is like get that get out the mayo rub mayo on the walls.

And then my dad chimes in. This is on a group text. He's like, WD-40 will take that right out. I was like, are you guys fucking lunatics? Is there anything else? You want me to rub blood on the walls, red wine, anything else that will get this out? I was like, I got a wet paper towel. I rubbed it off.

You fucking crazy. I didn't know marker could come off with a wet paper towel. I mean, it was like super. I mean, I got kids markers. It's not like I gave them a sharpie. It was very intentionally like, go do whatever the fuck you want with these things. My sister put crayon to some of the brick in our house when she was a kid and it was like

It'll never come out. Yeah, it's still there. Apparently, Mayo and WD-40 will do the trick. It's very, very small so I think that my parents thought it was funny because they caught her as she was doing it. But when I saw that, I thought it was crayon too. I thought Keegan had literally just fucked up your entire

hallway with crayon. Yeah, no, no. It came off. It came off. But that and you know what really is true as shit? You want to swallow a bug? Bye, Casey. You gonna make it? Went down the wrong pipe?

Put the mic up to her mouth. Isn't that funny when you just swallow spit wrong? It's just like you were just living. Oh, she's dead, folks. She's literally holding her throat. She's gone. You gonna make it? Oh, that hurt.

Spalled my own spit wrong. I mean... Spit or swallow? You've been around for 30 years, Casey. You still don't know how to swallow? Grow up, you child. Yeah, that was tough. Next time, spit.

Figure it out. Figure it out. I mean, are you quite done here? You're a distraction, please. Enough with the dramatic. Get out. I mean, are you quite done here? Enough with the dramatic doubt. Jesus Christ. I mean, what a joke, man. And they're

recording advisors out there, so I can't go out there like... Be a goddamn professional, Casey. Oh, that hurt really bad. You just went down the wrong pipe, huh? Yeah, that was tough. That is embarrassing when that happens, though, and you really can't stop it. No, it hurts.

I can't relate. I know how to fucking use my esophagus. You've never had the spit go down the wrong pipe? Never. Or like a drink? No. Shut up. Yeah, that's just not true.

The drink is one thing, because people saw you take a sip, and it's like, oh, it went down the wrong pipe. When you just do it with your spit, and it just out of nowhere, you just have a coffee, like you did, people are like like what the fuck is going yeah i'm not worried about you people i was talking about this recently um i used to wear a thick

ass silver chain with a dragon pennant on it and you could tell of course of course you did but you could tell who my girlfriend was because she'd be rocking it Whenever I'd have a girl She'd wear my chain So I'd be like Showing up to class Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking serious? You used to give

Were they matching or you used to give her the one? No she'd have mine So some people do the letterman jacket Some people do a ring Letterman jacket. Yeah. Some people do like a ring. Dragon chain. You would give her the dragon chain. Okay, Jared, how long did it take for you? This is the cockiest shit I've ever heard.

How long did it take for her to like say? Right off the bat. Right, like she's your- You're my girlfriend, here's the chain, babe. And they would wear it, no questions asked. No questions asked. Oh. Can't be true.

That cannot be true. I still- It Can't be true. That cannot be true. I still. It can't be true. Oh, yeah. That has to be a made up story. That has to happen once. Be honest. One girl did this.

Two or three, yeah. Oh, shit. I need to speak to these girls. Yeah. I need to talk to someone who wore the Rocket Dragon chain. I still have it. I still have it. I still have it.

And there's probably seconds of it. Oh, yeah. I still have it. The first girl, fine. The second girl that rocked that. Girl, have some fucking standards. I was the only guy that had the dragon pennant. I would sincerely hope so.

Where did you even get that? Don't worry about it. No, where did you get that? My mom worked at a jewelry store. So she thought you needed a dragon chain? I wanted it. Ellen, Ellen. Was it plastic?

Was it metal? No, it was silver. So you would come home and maybe Ellen would be like, where's your dragon chain? Short wanted it. Ellen. Was it plastic? Was it metal? No, it was silver. So you would come home and maybe Ellen would be like, where's your dragon chain? You know, shorty's got it. Oh, you let her take it home. Wow. How did you ask for it back? Can you imagine your little cute daughter

comes home, she's wearing a fucking dragon chain. You're like, what is going on, honey? And she's like, well, I'm dating the rocket. Yeah. I mean, like, let me... What ages are we talking here? Fifth grade. Fifth grade and sixth grade, yeah. I'd say fifth grade and sixth grade.

Those two grades. And you came up with this idea? No, no, that's what the guys would do. No, no, all the guys, like, if you had a girlfriend, you, like, the girl would... Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're dragon chain. I was the only one that had a dragon chain. Well,

that's what I'm saying. What did they have? What did other people have? They would either just have, like, regular, like, silver chains.

No, he's talking about chains. Yeah, I'm just talking about chains. No, because I knew where you were going, because, yeah,

like, I would wear, like, my high school boyfriend's letter jacket home, and it was like, like, when he was,

when he was, like, playing football, I'd be wearing it, like, this is, yeah. I'm going to actually,

the next time you're approaching final break territory we've been doing this a lot yeah a lot shorter but fights will drop stories on me like 10 years in where i'm like how how could you not tell me this by now how am i just finding out that you used to lace these girls with dragon chains because it was normal to us then like normal bro i was the only one that had a dragon chain, which I still have. The next time I go back to Boston, I'm going to bring it back. The chain thing is,

I mean, it's like a Miami turnover chain. It is. What are we talking about? I have a picture of it way, way down. Okay, so here, how big are we talking?

Like, show me with your hand. Like, how big was the dragon? Yeah, like, size of your, like, the palm of your hand. Like a golf ball. No, I mean, it was like that.

So, like, two golf balls. It was like rectangular because it was like the dragon was like spread out. Okay, so all the guys were doing this. So like if a girl didn't have a chain on, was she a loser? Loser! Yeah, if she didn't have a chain then. Well, what would stop? Oh, I mean, yeah.

What a special world looking back. There's probably some girl who was like i can't believe i used to stay up at night crying because i didn't have to wear i didn't have a chain to wear to school like what a fucking bizarro backwards world where you were cool if you wore the rockets dragon well i mean i know we've talked about this before but it's like and they don't do homecoming up here with the mums and the garters and stuff but that's what i'm thinking but it was every day it's like a homecoming up here with the mums and the garters and stuff, but that's what I'm thinking, but it was every day. It's like if homecoming came around and you didn't have the gigantic mum from a boy. What's that, a flower?

Why don't you just Google Texas homecoming mum, Kevin? I want to watch your face when you see this. It's like we're cattle. I'm not kidding. This is something that... It's got to be very problematic. I don't know if they still do it

or not what like go to images go to images just go just go go over to google images texas homecoming mom oh my god i know it's literally like prize cattle and so the girls wore them strapped to their chest and like you had to like strap to your bra, under your shirt, whatever, and you got that for homecoming, and then the boys got the garters, the version they wear around their arms. So if you didn't have one on homecoming, that means you didn't have a date to homecoming,

which means you were a loser. Yeah, like what a backwards world. But Jared was doing that every day. Yeah. I mean. You know how expensive those things were? I don't. I know nothing about this.

Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars. You got like light up stuff in them. You got like teddy bears. This is the lamest shit I've ever seen in my whole life. Yeah. It's the worst. This is the lamest shit of all time. But you know what's sad?

Is that it was so normal. Yeah. It was so. And now I look back. I'm like, why were we walking around like we just won first place at a fucking rodeo? Like fucking Wilbur

from Charlotte's Web. Did you Google it? Did you see? We don't have internet in the office right now. Have you seen these things before? Pete, come on. What the fuck is this?

You wore these giant If you're listening right now, I know we only have like 10 minutes. It looks like Ric Flair. 833-85-STOOL. Call in with your, It looks like Ric Flair. I don't know if Texas is the only place to do it it i just saw like a couple headlines it's like this is

literally only a texas thing we're weird people down there but that was a thing i mean that makes the the dragon chain look normal i gotta be honest laughing and once a year though well yeah every day is a different story the dragon chain i'm gonna bring it back it's cocky yeah i mean because everyone else they would would have a cross. Some person had a G-unit, and I was just like a fucking dragon. How many of you did this? It was your crew of friends? No, it was just all the dudes.

Every guy did it? The whole grade did it? You guys were just walking around looking like Pauly D with chains and shit? Not every dude was wearing a chain, but the cool kids were. And the really cool ones had a dragon. I mean, there's only one. That's right, that's right, it's Monday,

we're back, let's go! So what happened when you broke up? Was the first thing like, hey, no, that would be like, no, you know what I would do? Make sure you get it back. No, no, no. The twinkle in his eye right now is

terrifying. This is what I would do, because I would know that I want to dump her ass before I ask for the chain back. And I'd be like, hey, can I just get that? I'm going to clean it. My mom works at the jewelry counter, so I'm just going to have it back

so I can clean it this weekend. I'll give it back to you on Monday. And then I'd dump her on Saturday, have Sunday for everything to blow over, get a new girlfriend by monday okay how did you dump them in fifth grade yeah i am yeah i my fifth grade boyfriend had another girl or guy break up with me on the phone but he was on three-way because you know you used to be able to do that and he so he was listening to it and then his friend or his i think it might have been his girlfriend i don't know he called me and broke up with me and he was listening the whole time like that's like the

original cucking i mean that is i love that what a savage move love it i i mean the the give me that chain back so i can get it clean so it looks nice for you oh actually you're never gonna get it okay so the second girl bought that after the first. There's no way that the first girl Girls are so diabolical. They're just like, yeah, like, oh, I'm next. She was sporting that. Yeah, but then whenever you came back at the end of the second one, you're like, hey, babe, I need that chain so I can get it cleaned. She had

to know she was getting dumped. I don't know that I did that move more than once. That was like, I know that that's how I did it once. It was like, I would say, hey, I'm going to polish it this weekend. Let me get it back. Do you still have this chain for real was like, I know that that's how I did it once. I was like, hey, I'm going to polish it this weekend. Let me get it back. Do you still have this chain for real?

Yes, I do. I want you, you know what I need you to do? I'm hoping Ellie is not listening to this. Somehow we need to work it into where it becomes like an Ellie thing

where she's wearing this fucking chain. Ellie? Yeah, just to make it funny. Bring in the chain and it'll be like, it'll be like, I'm going to have, I in the chain, and it'll be like a championship belt almost. And if you win the week of CCK, you get the dragon chain. Whoever had the biggest performance, like the cake thing,

will also have a chain thing. I'm not wearing that chain. Why not? You know what it's been? The reason I want Ellie to do it is because I want to watch Ellie's face when he explains exactly what it is because the content that she could turn this into because the schnit heads

of all out there are just going to be like roasting Jared. If you hold the chain up to your ear, you can still hear the screams. The echoes of girls gone by. Every girl just being like, oh, I'm dumped. Just the wailing. It sounded...

Yeah, fifth grade was a tough time. By the way, we missed a chance for a cake today. Yeah, we did. Well, it's Casey's anniversary at Barstool. My one year today. That's a good reason for a cake. Actually, not at all, but I just now really want a cake. I mean...

My five year is coming up in November. My ten year is coming up. November. My 10 year's coming up. This year? In, um... Yeah. August. 10 years. Damn.

Big year. Oh, big year. What anniversary is that? It's like wood or some shit. Wood? You know, like there's like gold and like the stone that goes with your... You know what I'm talking about? I do.

Like your 25th anniversary, you're supposed to get like a gold item for the person. Oh. And like 50 is like platinum. What do I get for five? I think. Yeah, it's like really. I think it is actually like there's something like paper. Jesus Christ.

I don't know. What do you even Google for that? Anniversary. I did anniversary metal. Give anniversary. Tenth is, fifth is wood. It's wood. Tenth is tin

Fifteen is crystal Twenty is china Twenty-five is silver Thirty pearl Thirty-five jade Forty ruby Forty-fifth sapphire Fiftieth is gold

Sixtieth diamond Seventieth platinum So you gotta make it up there Tin, I got like a tin cup Is there not one for the first year? I thought there was Nah, nobody gives a fuck about you. No, no, no. I'm not talking about for me.

I'm sure there probably is something. It's a dragon chain. Yeah, right? Just wait for that dragon chain. Noah, what do you got on this fucking dragon chain? Oh, one year's paper. Noah. Hey, what's going on, guys?

What do you got? Hey, what's going on, guys? What do you got? Hey, so I think this is just fucking hilarious. So I was in middle school in 2008. So that's when the flat rim fitted hats were still kind of in. And I actually had a girlfriend who would wear my chain. I mean, it wasn't a fucking dragon train, but she would wear the chain and my fitted hat. And I broke up with her on a Friday, and by Monday I had a new girlfriend

who was rocking the chain and hat. And the two girls actually got into a fist fight in eighth grade in the middle of the hallway over wearing my chain. And the girl who I broke up with actually got suspended for starting the fight and never came back to the school. She transferred schools. Could you imagine that being like, Principal Smith, listen, I have the chain and the hat. It's mine now. She's just a jealous bitch. The principal would probably be like, like, Principal Smith, listen, I have the chain and the hat.

It's mine now. She's just a jealous bitch. The principal would probably be like, yeah, I'm on your side. I mean, I feel like I missed the boat big time on this, dude. Sorry, I hung up on you. I feel like I wasn't out here giving out any chains or hats or anything. I think letter jackets was the only thing that now that I look back, maybe watches at some point. I feel like you guys had a fucking I was doing that dick.

Jared wasn't grease and they do watches in Greece. Maybe I'm thinking of that. I didn't do any of this shit. I thought that was real life. We just tried to get handjob pass notes and stuff. Oh, yeah, I do that. But I didn't like give them any like objects. Oh, the letter jacket was I mean, that's a Texas thing, too, probably, though.

Right. Like Friday Night Lights. You're wearing that letter jacket. Yeah, that's, that's, yeah, that's, that's. I'd much rather show up at the fucking old game wearing a dragon chain. How about that? I mean, it just fits the whole narrative. The rocket, you stay hot. We got dragons.

Bring that in. Dragons. Go find that. I will. I know where it is. Bring it in. It'll be like the turnover chain. Anytime you do something good on the show.

Pow. Dragon chain. I'm not wearing that. Yes it in. It'll be like the turnover chain. Anytime you do something good on that show, pow, dragon chain. I'm not wearing that. Yes, you are. Casey, yes, you are. Dragon chain's

coming in hot. You guys stay hot. We'll be back tomorrow. Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. What did you do? Okay, so two of my best friends in college,

they were like the first couple to be really serious. They got serious sophomore year of college, I guess. And then they were the first ones to get engaged, first ones to get married, and the first one to have kids. And they're like both of them separately, really close friends of mine. So obviously, like in the wedding, the whole thing, they have a son and all of our friends are like, this is our like friend group baby. Like this baby is going to be spoiled. We were so happy it was a boy because in like the one of the first things that I bought him was like a clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose onesie, like the whole thing. And like we all became aunts and uncles uncles and it was like, okay, well,

you know, aunt Casey is going to be the one that's going to end up spoiling the baby because she's never going to have her own kids. So I started thinking like very early on, I was like, all right, they lived in Houston. They'd come stay with me. And at the time I had my dog that I shared with my ex-boyfriend, and he loved my dog. Yeah, no fucking kidding. He's a baby. Loved my dog. My dog did not love him.

Like, my dog was scared because she'd never seen, like, a little thing like that because we don't have kids around, obviously. But I started noticing, I was like, oh, like, he really loves this puppy. Oh, my God. Folks, you see where this story's going. Do you know what she's about to do? I, yeah. Just a bad bitch.

Strapping. Just horribly irresponsible so then i start talking to his mom and his mom's like you know i really love dogs too maybe somewhere along the line aunt casey can buy him a dog she probably meant when he was like 10 right she probably meant even then it's like she did not mean right away but what do i know i'm not a parent and i'm like again that i refuse to not be the coolest aunt on the block. I'll be honest. I didn't know that the mom in this story even kind of condoned it. She doesn't know what she's doing either.

Well, she also assumed that I was a smart enough person to not do it right away. But again, I. But even that is like you need to have the foresight to know that even when the kids 10, you're not going to have a dog then either. Well, you're still going to end up taking care of that thing well no because i think what i grew up with a dog like i think we got a dog when i was in first grade and my sister so my sister's three years younger than me so i don't know what like preschool or whatever we adopt we saved a dog and that dog lived until i was a sophomore in college and so like growing up with a family dog is like the best thing ever and the the kid's mom grew up with a dog the same way

so we talked about that like there's nothing like up with a dog the same way so we talked about that like there's nothing like having like a dog in your house when you're growing up so aunt casey comes refusing to not be the best aunt of all time i find how old are you how old am i now or when this is happening like 24 25 maybe um i decide to buy them a dog for his second birthday stupid oh i think i was actually older than that i probably was like 26 or 27 because he's not that old right now so i buy this dog i get one of my our other guy kind of dog a border collie so not even like they're the smartest breed but they are i mean they hurt they're the ones like herd sheep right right like that's what they do they're like ridiculous they're almost too smart to be pets because

they're just like my dad has a border collie and like it's like terrifying so i call them i'm like hey i got your kid a present for his birthday let's meet between college station and houston and we show up and i told the mom i was like was like, this is what I got. She's like, oh, this is not going to go well, but here we go. And I hand this dog over, and my guy friend, who is one of my best friends on the planet, could not have dropped more F-bombs on me.

He was like, what the fuck are you doing? Are you fucking serious? And I was like, ah. I would have condoned physical violence here. He was so mad at me. The kid sees it, and you can't take it away. So did they just take the dog? They took it.

So they just still have this dog? And then it was... Oh, my God, I would never talk to you again. I would literally... Actually, to be perfectly honest, I would be like, no. I'll let my kid play with it for the afternoon, and then it's going back to the pound. The kid's probably young enough to where you could be like,

oh, no, this is Casey's dog dog she just wants you to meet no because because he knew the kid knew memphis my dog because at that at two years old they can already like kind of talk which is crazy yo hold on i don't care how old or how perceptive you just tell that kid like oh no the dog like went away and that's it done it gets sadder than that okay so then come to find out the kid is actually scared of dogs. So like he liked my dog for some reason because he like grew up like I don't he did not want a dog in the house. So I was around Christmas time and it was like, you know, it doesn't get that cold in Texas, but when it does, it's like nobody's used to it.

Like I would assume dogs that grew up in Texas can handle it fine, but they still are not used to it. Yeah. I get there. My dog is there in a little Christmas sweater. She's a greyhound. I look outside and this dog that I had bought is just sitting out in the middle of the yard.

It's cold as fuck. It's icing. It's snowing. And they're like, we can't let this dog in the house because our child will start screaming, you asshole. I was like, well, I was just trying to be a cool aunt. And they're like, well, you're not. Well, you i was just trying to be a cool aunt and they're like well you're not and then you're not yeah you're definitely not cool like so then she gets pregnant

again oh god and she's like we're done with this dog and they like shipped it off you gotta they they sent it to a nice family on a farm somewhere that's sad but i felt like i feel like i was doing the right thing i just didn't know what the right thing was oh my god you are so dumb. You know what I do now? I send sneakers. I was gonna say, money, gift cards, sneakers, sure. He's a huge golfer. I send golf balls. Sneakers is actually perfect because it's really stupid to buy nice sneakers because they grow out of them

in 25 seconds, but it's also fun to have them and take pictures of them, so boom. Perfect ant gift. Not a goddamn living fucking creature. And he just loves golf balls, so now I can't go wrong like just send them like 200 golf balls and then they end up all over the house and i also get in trouble i'm like at least it's not living neil is on the line and he says he has a love note for casey oh go ahead neil what's up um so this is neil not nick that I called in and sent you that card on Valentine's Day?

Mm-hmm. So I was driving around. I let the windows down. It was a nice day. And I figured I got to give Casey a call and see if she still wants to do that date. Oh, this is the same guy? Yeah. Oh.

So you're shooting a shot again here. So there's no love note? Well, there is a love note But it's in the mail I don't know if you got it I sent it like on Monday I don't know if you got it Yeah right

Yeah right Oh I've definitely not gotten a love note That's a fucking phony fugazi line Oh I sent it It's in the mail I know a fucking My text message Must not have gone through

Yeah I know I didn't get it Oh yeah The text message Didn't get it Well I don't know but Yeah if you yeah, the text message didn't get it. Well, I don't know, but, yeah, if you still want to go on that date, I'm still down. I mean, it's springtime. Let's go.

Well, here's what happened. I'm going to speak for Casey for a second. She sobered up and was like, wait a minute, I'm not going to do that. Oh, no. That's kind of what happened. She was all about it when she was two bowls of wine deep, and then come Monday, me and Jared were like, all right, let's fucking do this. And she was like, uh, no. Let's see how good the love note is.

Yeah, if you have a love note, I mean, it's just better get here by Monday. I think maybe you should kind of just recite it right now, to be honest, if you can remember any parts of it. Just let it rip, bud. Now's your shot. She's listening. Dear Casey Smith, I know that you love your sex dungeons, and we can arrange that if possible, but I would like to be chivalrous

and take you on a date first before I take you in a dungeon. That's a pretty good love note. That's a pretty good love note. I was waiting for the next part. Is there more? No, that's it, bro. I think that was it, right?

I think that's a pretty good love note. I would wait for the next part. Is there more? No, that's it, bro. I think that was it, right? I think that's a pretty good love note. I would wait. I'm going to wait to go to the dungeon. I think that's pretty romantic. Short and to the point. Short and to the point. But here's my problem. Like your dick.

Is that it wasn't necessarily very original because it's like a love note that you want to impress somebody. You got to come with some original content. That's content from me. I need to hear a love note of why you want to take me on a date because of your brain, not mine. That's true. What you should do is maybe think on that and call back with a better love note. Yeah, we have to go to break. So give him a couple minutes, call back, and better love note, okay? Yeah, we have to go to break, so give him a couple minutes,

call back, and shoot your shot better. Come up with another love note for Casey after halftime here on CCK. One of the most important things we do for our health every day is brushing our teeth, yet most of us don't do it properly. Quip is a better electric toothbrush created by dentists and designers. It was designed with making brushing your teeth more simple, more affordable, and even more enjoyable. A built-in two-minute timer pulses every 30 seconds to remind you of when to switch sides, helping guide a full and even clean. Up to 90% of us don't brush for a full two minutes,

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Usually it was like, guys, let's fucking go. Oh no. You loaded the bases again. Immediately. God damn it. Baseball's on the horizon.

March Mad madness is here uh case is about to go on a date with a stalker like all good things all good things are happening for this date all good things are popping first of all during the break and i know bc got it so it's gonna end up on the vlog but jared tried to claim that if the stalker showed up here because you guys were like convinced that this guy is now stalking me, which whatever, that Jared would be able to stop harm happening to me. Yeah. And that's just false because I have been in a real life setting with Jared

when harm was being threatened on one of my girlfriends and Jared is sitting at the same table. That's smaller than this radio table that we're sitting at. And I ended up having to like stand up for my friend because this guy was nuts. And Jared literally never looked up from his phone. No, to be fair. Never looked up. To be fair, it's actually somewhat easier for a girl to stand up to a guy sometimes.

Kevin, the guy said he was going to hit her. He was like, I am going to hit you. And I was like, but he would definitely have hit Jared if Jared stood up. But the only reason that the guy didn't, the reason the guy was so mad at her was because he bought her a drink and then she wouldn't make out with him. Now keep in mind, he's obviously shit face,

but he was like, Oh yeah. And then he kept, he kept going, kept going. She's like, listen, I don't want to talk to you,

whatever. And then he was like, Oh yeah, well then I'll just hit you. And I look over at Jared and I'm like, uh, are you going to do something about this? No, didn't even look up from his phone. That's for sure not what happened.

No, I didn't say that. I was going to be honest. I didn't say it. If it was, I didn't say it. I don't know. As long as she wanted to say it, and I was going to come in and be like, are you trying to paint a picture where I knew about the situation

and did nothing about it? No, you didn't know. Okay. But you were sitting at the same table. So we were in a bar that was pretty loud, and I'm on my phone there and this dude is talking to casey and her friend and i'm not paying attention to the conversation and then after he walks away casey's like did you hear him say that he was gonna hit us i was like no i didn't

i didn't hear that so the rocket have done i would him. No, because then I go to Yankee Stadium and a situation arises. This is the same situation. And he and Hubs just run away. No, I didn't know. This wasn't like a threaten to get hit situation. You were literally behind. My back was to you. Beside the point.

I'm not your babysitter, Casey. If there's danger, let me know. I can't just be staring at you when we're out in public to be like, oh, Casey's in danger. Got to go save the day. I'm not asking for that. And I go on record and say that if there was something that I was worried about my safety, you'd be one of the last people I would call. I'll be honest. I mean, like, wherever you put Jared, wherever you put Jared, put me beneath him.

Yeah, I'm not. I'm not here to fucking say that. What unrealistic, unfair expectations to have. Hey, when we go out, can you pay attention to me the entire time to make sure that I'm not... No, no, no, no, no, no. The fact that even if it shit went down, if someone turned to me and was like, are you ready to fight? Like, do you know? No. I'm not asking you to fight.

First of all, I have... Casey, you do rumble. You probably could do more damage than me. Well, that's probably true. I'm not asking you or anybody that i go out with on a normal basis to be paying attention to me constantly what i am asking well kind of well depends am i hooking up with them or not depends on what kind of attention it depends on what our relationship is all right thank you very much like yeah if we're if we're sleeping together you better be

paying attention to me um i do in fact, expect in a situation where if you are sitting at a table and a guy is... Danger? At a bar with loud music? Listen, this was like literally in July. So I'm like way past it. Do you want me to be eavesdropping on your conversation with a stranger? That'd be a little bit weird for me.

Actually, that wouldn't bother me at all. Which is why I wanted you and Kevin to come on this supposed date so you guys could eavesdrop to make sure it didn't get too weird. Right. Oh, no, I would be encouraging it to get weird. I want to have an earpiece with that guy and tell him what to say. I would love to. Ask him about Laura Rutledge.

Yeah. They're friends. Did you know that? You know what? I was very sad. You guys, I've now been shamed out of talking about her. She was doing the SEC basketball tournament last night, and I was watching the games. Was she killing it?

And I was going to tweet something about it, like, sarcastically, like tongue-in-cheek, and I was like, it's so far past that now that I'm just not going to. Like, if I – Laura and I could scissor. Laura and I could scissor. Now we're cooking with gas. Continue. We could be, like, in a full-blown relationship,

and I would say something on Instagram and be like, oh, did you hear Laura Rutledge is her best friend? I'm like, alright guys. I don't know, I think we should prove that. I think we should test that out. Barstool Gold, baby. I mean, I have like a minimal amount of friends but when I'm with them, I don't acknowledge that I'm with

them as much as you acknowledge that you're with Laura Rutledge when you're with Laura Rutledge. First of all, I'm a girl, so there is difference. And also... It's like a get-together. She's in town, right? We've never lived in the same place. We were on the same... We worked for ESPN on

competing packages, basically, so we never got to see each other. We went a year without seeing each other. When you go to the Kowloon, do you tell people you're at the Kowloon? Fuck yeah, he does. He talks about it all the time. Laura Rutledge is her Kowloon. Exactly. I'll talk about it after the fact, but not when it's an ongoing process. But you're also, you're not a girl.

Because I don't want the stampede to show up. I have never heard more men make fun of two girls hanging out in my entire life. I've actually never commented. It's mostly Gaz who does that. But Gaz also, like behind the scenes, is like... I have a question. Do we have more wine? Yeah.

Look at this, though. I pulled the corkscrew out, and it just came out of the cork. Give it to me. Look at this. There's already a hole in it. I pulled the arms down, and the corkscrew just pulled out of the cork.

If there's one thing Casey's good at, it's this. My guy friend, the one that I bought the dog for, just texted me and said he's at a bachelor party right now, and he's playing golf, so he can't call in because he doesn't want to embarrass himself.

He didn't say that. He said he can't actually speak. But he said, you can go fuck all the way right off about that dog. We put it to sleep. What? They didn't put it to sleep. But that's the way he's feeling right now. No, no, no.

I still get pictures of the dog every once in a while, but that's how mad he still is at me and this was years ago. I have a question. When you guys hang out, does Laura Rutledge post about you? Yes, she does. Do you think that friends at her job are like, oh, you're with your friend Casey Smith? Actually, yeah. Well, because she also, one of Gaz's things is like, well, why doesn't she go on when she's like hosting Get Up in the Morning and talk about you?

Like, because she works for ESPN. That's the dumbest question I've ever heard. Like she does say like every time she's with me that her coworkers and stuff be like, oh, you're with Casey because I also worked with a lot of them too. But it's no secret that we can say whatever the fuck we want and that people at ESPN can't. We were going to have her on the college football show. Like Dave and Frankie and I were like, let's have her like actually be one of the guest pickers for the Florida-Georgia game because she was Miss Florida when she was at Florida. And she asked permission and they were like... See, it's not just me. This corkscrew

sucks. Yeah. I'm trying to not mess up the cork right now. The corkscrew just pulls out. I think at this point we have to just cut all the way through the cork. Probably. Keep screwing it all the way down. Just push it down. But they told her no. They were like, you cannot go on barstool. So she can't even, when she's here,

like, I don't even think she's allowed to be in the building. All you can do is just sit there. Neil's back. Well, I feel like I need this bottle of wine opened before we get back to Neil. Is that fair? I mean, work it, girl, work it. It's cooked.

Damn. Sad. It's the worst corkscrew in the world. Neil? I'm back. All Naz. It's cooked. Damn. Sad. It's the worst corkscrew in the world. Neil? I'm back. All right. Let's see. Let's go.

All right, Casey, this is for you. I'm ready. I was born and raised a New York sports fan, so I hate the Patriots, fuck the Red Sox, and fuck the Celtics. But for you, I'm willing to go to a championship parade because I'm not going to get one myself. But let's start with a latte and a dozen roses.

Is that it? She's waiting for more, bro. No, I, first of all, the music behind it was phenomenal. Go, Zago. YouTube ad ruined it the first time around. Shout out to YouTube ad. That was better. That was better. I caught it because I had time this time because he stalled a little bit.

So I went through that. There you go. Well, fellas, I'm going to let you guys weigh in on this first. As my de facto, I don't know what you guys are, but I'm going to let you guys weigh in on the originality of it. I mean, it's not long enough. Put it this way. If you have a shot with Casey Smith I hate to pump her tires

but she is a desirable woman where many guys would love to have the opportunity to get on the phone and talk about how much she means to them you've had two or three opportunities all of them have sucked to be honest with you

I have been so underwhelmed if I was a girl my pussy could not be drier. You cock-blocking, dry pussy motherfucker. Yeah, my pussy could not be drier if I were Casey Smith, and you're just on here with your third attempt to try and woo her, and it is just nonstop underwhelming content coming at you. Wow, Neil, what do you got to say to the Rocket? What am I supposed to say on the date?

Am I supposed to spill out all my shit on the first, like, introduction? I got to say something to the date. Come on, man. A first impression is the number one most, that's the most important impression that you can make. But he is, but he's holding back a little something for, you know, for day number one. But, I mean, you're supposed to come in strong with the, if you had a poem for her, if you had a love letter for her, you come in strong, you get her attention, you get on the date, and then you hit her with everything else from all their angles.

But if you're coming in with like, hey, I got a couple sentences for you, it comes off as minimal effort. You're not going to grab her attention. You're not going to get her to go on a date with you. And if she does show up for the date, she's not going to be all that interested right off the bat because she's like,

well, this guy, he doesn't put in any effort at all. All right, look me up on Instagram, and then if you don't like what I look like, you can say no. See if I'm an 8.5. Ooh, damn. Yeah, 8.5 over here. That's very high. I'm going to be completely honest.

What do you think about Cockblock Karabas over here? That is one of the nicest things that Jared Karabas has ever said to me or about me. And listen, I know that there's all these wild scenarios in people's minds. Jared doesn't compliment me ever. Ever. And that was very nice. I mean, you're saying this like he's a bad guy, Casey. No, no, no, no, no.

You're not. Obviously, Jared is a great guy. I would like to go on record and say Jared is a nice guy. Jared and I fight like brother and sister. However, Jared normally never gasses me up ever. He usually tries to, like, tear it down. That was, I mean, I honestly don't ever want to yell at you about not getting me the right iced coffee ever again. Wow.

I don't think I fucked up. We're mending bridges. I mean, that was, you know what? I take back everything I said about you not wanting to protect me because what you just did, like you didn't even have to even like threaten physical harm. You're just like, you know what? If you get a shot, you should do better, bro. I didn't even have to speak.

Kevin didn't even have to speak. I was really I'm very impressed by you. You just blocked that guy's cock. No problem. No problem. Swatted the cock. I mean, but right into the third row. And then he goes and says stuff like that.

I'm like, all right, never mind. i do first of all like i like the the it's now become like a constant on our radio show that this guy is involved with and i hope that there's an actual love letter that comes because a i want to blog about it and b i want to talk about on the show but if you are going to have the platform where you can call it and talk to anybody at barstool, you got to come with more than a paragraph. I mean, both times she, she, she did one of these,

like leaned her ear in. Yeah. I'd be like, all right, I hear you. And where's this going? And then it was just over. I hear you.

Like, let's, let's come with a little bit more. I mean, this greedy bitch over here. How many, how many words does she need, Jared?

That letter was the equivalent of being a two pump jump. It was. I mean, that was, that was the premature ejaculations of all love letters right there. I don't even care about the love letter anymore. I am just so happy.

I think there was a love letter right here, and it was Jared's soliloquy to that guy. It was just basically gassing me up as a co-host and as a friend, as a person, and that is really just mending a bridge that was falling apart that was in the fucking oh in the river like you know those like old school bridges where they like

start to like they like they're breaking in the middle wobbling and like it's like they might just capsize at any point that was the jerry casey that that's where we're at and like there's a there's a support that's been put up underneath it that's like you know what like it might be temporary might be permanent but you but it's propped me up for a little bit. Beautiful. So beautiful. Mark from Minnesota, going back to our conversation about kids. What do you got, Mark?

Casey, that was a very despicable move to buy a family a dog that didn't want one. Despicable, Mark! Despicable! I was trying to be a good ass Why don't you just buy him another kid too Jesus Christ, despicable

I'm kind of in the same boat as Evan I have a three year old And two muscle, both girls And if someone dropped a dog Into my life right now I mean Yeah, that's Absolutely insane

Mark, it leaves me I mean, I would say, yeah, that's absolutely insane. But like I, it leaves me, it renders me speechless. Like I don't, I can't even tell you what would happen if someone dropped a dog in my life. Cause I would be so taken aback. I would black out and like whatever happened, I could not be held responsible for. I don't think any jury would convict me. Yeah. Continue. No, I mean, having anyone who thinks that I mean, anyone who thinks that having a pet is like being a parent

or as difficult as being a parent is insane. They don't have any kids. Yes. But I'm completely out on dogs. I know that's a very unpopular opinion on the Internet right now, but, yeah, I'm out on dogs. Yeah, I mean, once you have the kids running around, it's hard.

It's not easy. You know, you get shamed for saying it, but it's a completely reasonable thing once you have kids. I mean, Duncan was the fucking worst with my kids. Really? He lives with my parents now we couldn't even like i had to give him up i didn't know that yeah he was like i mean he

was eat their pacifiers he was nipping at them shea would be yanking on his tail pulling on his ears they just don't for every picture you see of like a puppy and a dog like snuggled up yeah there's a dog who's like get the fuck away away from me, dude. I used to just sleep on the couch, like, peaceful. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that was not fun. But it was like, you got to pick between one. I mean, I was lucky enough that my parents took him,

so he's, like, still in the family or whatever. Right. But, I mean, I don't know what you do in case he just drops a dog in the middle of fucking the middle of nowhere. Yeah, like I said, I apparently have not lived it down a few years later because he's texting me and telling me to fuck right off. He's like, fuck all the way off, Casey. I'm going to go back to playing golf

without my kids and your dog that you gave me. Listen, I did it from the kindness of my heart. It backfired. The dog was sad in the cold. And now my godson just gets shoes and shirts. He wins, too.

Oh, yeah. No, he. Yeah, it's fine. We all learned lessons here. Yeah. Earlier today, we were having this conversation yesterday talking about how much money would it take for you to be Tommy Smokes and all that shit. Dave pops out of his office today and just goes, did you guys hear the news? Tommy Smokes is useless.

Oh, no. Me and Trent just started, the way he posed it, hey, you guys hear the news? I was waiting for something to actually happen. Yeah, Tommy Smokes, he's useless now. He's worthless. Why is this? I don't think Dave's winning bets.

And that's where Tommy Smokes' value was. Wow. I feel like this is the first strike across the bow. I don't know. I mean, I had said that to him on the rundown. Have you ever, like, scolded Tommy? And he was like, yeah. So I don't know.

Who knows what goes on? Maybe not on camera. Maybe on trips to Vegas. Maybe in the FanDuel Sportsbook and dark moments late at night. He's let him have it. Today proclaimed useless after the man was, you know, almost shitting his pants from yesterday. It's a thankless job being Dave Portnoy's rabbit foot. There was, I think Rhea tweeted it,

because everybody took out their phones the exact same time they were sitting behind it. Back in, like, the water cooler, the podcast room yesterday, Dave had his arm around Tommy, like, literally holding on to him like they were, like literally holding on to him like they were like third grade best buddies. And Tommy just stood there for as long as Dave wanted to do it. Oh, yeah.

And it was just like it was so looking at it was just so demoralizing because it's like Tommy can't has no option. He has no option. And then that's why he gets a paycheck. And then to be standing there like that and then take all the stuff that he has and has do all things he has and then to be said that he's useless I mean that's tough, it's just a tough scene it's not good for Tommy

it's not good for Tommy I mean like the clock strikes midnight on every Cinderella Tommy had like an extra long run you know like it's it lasted almost a full year I mean and he did do things outside of being Dave's rabbit foot as well.

I mean, motherfucker was portrayed on Saturday Night Live. He's the vape god. He's the vape god. He took that rabbit foot and he ran with it. But when it comes time to get down, like at the end of the day, we all start to do more than we used to do, you know? At the end of the day, like you got to turn out blogs. You got to make podcasts.

You got to do your core competency. At the end of the day, my guy has to win bets. And if you're not doing that, then in the eyes of Dave Portnoy, who happens to be your boss, you are useless. $530,000 on the line yesterday. Do we know where he ended up? I don't know that. You just can't bet that many games.

On the under, too. 53 unders. You're just not going to win money. I can see him through the door crack. I feel like we could. You're just not going to win money. I can see him through the door crack. I feel like we could. You're just not going to win any money doing that. Erica is so disheveled right now with what's going on in this office. Is that what's there?

No, I think it's the Jeff D'Lo birthday cake. Yeah, that was actually funny. So as I was getting, I was grabbing some of these. I think you might be right, Jared. I see an insomnia. Oh, that's absolutely insomnia. I know. I wonder if it's the cookie.

It's the cookie cake. Is it the cookie cake? At one point I heard, I was getting some chicken fingers, and I heard someone start singing happy birthday to Jeff D. Lowe. And as soon as you heard like happy, Dan goes, is there cake? Is there cake? Like, it was like a trained dog. When I hear that noise. There's sweets. Tell me they're all gone. It's a cookie cake. It, it was like a trained dog. Like, when I hear that noise.

There's sweets. What? Tell me they're all gone. It's a cookie cake. It's an insomnia cookie cookie cake. Okay, so what happens? Okay, let's get some of that. So Jeff D. Lowe comes into the snack room. I've been in the snack room a lot these days.

Bad news, man. All my conversations are happening in the snack room. He comes in, and he's like, oh, what are you doing this weekend? And he was like, well, you know, it's my birthday today. And I felt like such an asshole. Cause I didn't know, like, it's not like we have a calendar in here and PFT happens to be walking by and PFT is like, what? You didn't know it was his birthday. Like you're the only asshole in here that didn't know it was his birthday. And I felt really bad. So I went to spider and I said, Hey, I, we need to get him a cake. He likes cookie cakes. So let's make make that happen and spider comes up to me like 30

minutes later and he's like it's gonna take an hour and a half for them to bake it what kind of cookie cake are you getting spider giant fucking cookie well yeah i thought it was gonna be like a small little cookie cake that's a big and then pft has continued to shame me for the rest of days like i can't believe that you didn't know it's his birthday like everybody else in this whole company did and like that it is tough like i know that's not true but i can't argue when i'm talking to my co-worker about his weekend plans and he's like it's my birthday it is tough. Like I know that's not true, but I can't argue when I'm talking to my coworker about his weekend plans and he's like, it's my birthday,

so I'm, you know, celebrating my birthday. I mean, I'm out on that. I'm out on everyone having to know the date of everyone's birthday. Yeah, he wasn't mad. Jeff wasn't mad at all, but I felt badly about it.

It's crazy narcissistic to think that everyone's going to know the anniversary of your birthday. Well, that's what Facebook has done though. Yeah, well, and I don't have Facebook, but yeah, and Jeff was like, we're not friends on Facebook, so you didn't have to know.

But you still, I normally am not, like, really upset, but it's when somebody's actually talking to you, and then they're like, oh. Well, yeah, it is my birthday. But I'm not mad that you didn't know that, but, and it's just uncomfortable. Homer Simpson. I hate celebrating my own birthday. It's coming up, by the way. No, it's not. And I'm a big other people's birthday.

Yeah, I feel you. But then, and this is, I mean, I talked about this when you were gone for my birthday. It's coming up, by the way. No, it's not. And I'm a big other people's birthday guy. Yeah, I feel you. But then, and this is, I mean, I talked about this when you were gone for my birthday. It's almost like more narcissistic to not celebrate your own birthday. Like, in a way, you're like, you're thinking about it so much that you're like, I don't want to put this burden on

people. And it's like, hey, bro, hey, guess what? We weren't burdened by you at all. I think it's more... Just acknowledge it, and we can all move on. I think it's more narcissistic to throw yourself a party. Well, that's the ultimate. That's the ultimate. It's like, hey, bro, hey, guess what? We weren't burdened by you at all. I think it's more... Like, just acknowledge it, and we can all move on. I think it's more narcissistic to, like, throw yourself a party. Well, that's the ultimate. That's the ultimate. It's like, hey, it's my birthday. The other side of the spectrum is to assume that it's, like, pestering people.

It's like, guess what? We don't fucking care. Yeah, like, it's almost like a friend barometer where it's like, I'm not going to ask you to come out for drinks on my birthday, but if my friends are like, hey, it's your birthday, like, let us at least, at least get you dinner or something, it's like, alright, yeah, cool, we can do that. But if no one asks, then it's just like, well, no one gives a

fuck about your life. You just die because you're useless. Just die because your life is a zero. Yeah, I mean, we would, but we're totally inconvenienced by your existence. I do feel like we should maybe have somewhere, like a calendar, like, we need to know when Erica's birthday is. Yeah, well, but here's the thing. I do feel like we should maybe have somewhere like a calendar.

Like, we need to know when Erica's birthday is. Yeah, well, but here's the thing. I could get down with a calendar for like important people birthdays, but then like, where do you draw the line? That's true. Like, there's always a bubble person. It's like, Frankie Borelli.

Like, do we put him on there or not? I don't know. Frankie needs to be on there. No. All right, then you put Frankie on. You got to put like Spider on. Are you saying that Frankie and Spider are on the same? I don't know. Frankie needs to be on there. No. All right, then you put Frankie on. You got to put Spider on. Are you saying that Frankie and Spider are on the same playing field? I don't know.

I would say Spider's probably above him at this point. Oh, my God. I mean, Spider makes sure that I get to a hotel safely. He makes sure. Yeah, Frankie doesn't do shit for me, bro. He got us wine. Spider gets us wine on Fridays. Here's a question, and I'll help Frankie out.

Hypothetically, if you were to be served a brownie with one scoop of ice cream, would you want a spoon or a fork? Fucking spoon. That was about to be fork changes to fucking spoon. Yeah. You want a spoon? I'd want a spoon because I can eat the brownie with my fingers, but I want the spoon

for the ice cream. Casey, what would you do? I would take a fork. Yeah, I would go fork. But while acknowledging that a spoon can do both eat brownie and ice cream, I think the fork is more important for the brownie because one scoop of ice cream is almost like a condiment, not like you're eating ice cream. Is this an analogy for Spider and Frankie frankie no it kind of works though it

kind of works it kind of does work you definitely go spoon there like if you want somebody that can help you with both you know who to go you go spider but if you want somebody to get the job done the best but the one job you go frankie i did but like if i gave you a brownie the fork you would decline any utensil yeah that's true but like, but like if I gave you a brownie. Frankie the fork. You would decline any utensil. Yeah, that's true. But like at a restaurant, if you get like a brownie. If I give you a scoop of ice cream, you would choose what? At a restaurant, if you get a brownie, you're not eating it with your hands.

You're eating it with a fork. Wrong. If you get like a dessert brownie from a restaurant, you're just picking it up? Yeah, it's a fucking brownie. What is the setting there? Dessert brownies are different. They're different. So you're asking me like lava cake.

It's in like a bowl. Kind of, yeah. Yeah, so if you give me lava cake, then I'll take the fork. So lava cake with a scoop, what do you do? It's a fork. Okay. Because it's softer. Like you can pick up a brownie.

You can't pick up a lava cake. Let's say you can't pick up the brownie. Why not? You would still go fork. Demand an explanation. Okay, I got it. I have an explanation for you. Why can't I have a brownie?

We're sitting at a restaurant, and they bring you a brownie that has melted fudge and ice cream I have an explanation for you. Why can't I have a fork? Okay, good. So final answer for all of us is a fork. Yeah. Frankie feels vindicated right now. If I was by myself.

Is Frankie here? He was earlier. Yeah, I mean, if Dave's nearby. I feel like the fact that you put Frankie and Spider on the same playing field will upset Frankie for a while. I did. Spider's more important. No.

Kevin said they were on the same playing field. I did nothing of the sort. You put words in my mouth. Well, that's true. I've done that before. Mike from Texas. What's up, bruh? Tejas.

Nothing much. I was going to talk about how you were talking about earlier being a single parent. Well, I have two daughters. Whenever younger, I would get looks all the time from women. But now that they're older, I don't get that as much because I live in a college town. I'm actually calling from College Station, so obviously Casey knows because A&M. Absolutely. I was talking about having a guy wait how how old how old are you

talking now how old are you kids uh they're 87 so which means i'm 30 now i had them when i was younger 20 so they're 87 now so i don't get as many looks now because i mean like i said the college town so most of the girls here are younger so they're like yeah i mean i don't think i want to mess with that so i mean which I don't blame them. But we had a guy last night, like I said, I was married. I'm divorced now. But my two guy friends, one's engaged and one is married. And I seen last night how, like, we went out from 8 to 10.30,

and the one that's married, he was like, I need to get home before 10.30. If not, I won't be able to come back out with y'all, like, for any, like, anytime soon. Turn into a pumpkin at that point. Yep. Yeah. I was like, I kind of agree. But, like, we didn't make fun of him because we were like, you know,

I used to be married. So, like, I understood that. We were like, yeah. You know the drill. Like, you're married now. So, like, that's what I wanted to call about. It's true, man. If you are married or you've been married, you know the drill. That's what I wanted to call about. It's true, man. If you are married or you've been

married, you know the deal. Like, single friends are always like, oh, you're whipped. Oh, you're trapped. Like, don't be a pussy. Regular guys are like, just go. Just go. What's another beer with me? Who cares? I'll talk to you later. Go make sure your wife's happy. Yeah. Keep the headache at home

fucking minimized i don't know if i've ever looked at one of my friends guy or girl that's married and try to shame them in a say in the bar i try to shame my single friends just like what are you going to go home right by your fucking self right right or unless it's me and i want to go home and be by myself then i'm not shaming anybody all right we're wrapping it up here next up me and fights talking to david hasselhoff the hawk we're talking aboutelhoff. The Hoff. We're talking about Baywatch. We're talking about Knight Rider. We're talking about being a German icon.

Being a Hollywood icon. Put your headphones on. Come back. So we'll hit this break. When we come back. Yeah, buddy. We'll do a little Friday interview to wrap the weekend up. I got a chance to sit down.

I recently sat down with Zack Morris. 90s legend. Didn't think it would get any better. And then I got to sit down with David fucking Hasselhoff. He was not only Mitch Buchanan From Baywatch, he was Michael fucking Knight From Knight Rider He is an international superstar

And me and your boy Fights Sat down with the Hoff To learn about what is it like To be the Hoff Let's talk to him now You know I was just reading in the newspaper Because I had a Great relationship With my nuns growing up.

Did you have nuns? I had monks. You had monks? Well, I went to high school with monks. I was taught by monks. You went to high school with monks? Franciscans. Franciscan monks?

Wow. I had Sister James Patrick was my one nun. She was a badass. What was her name? Sister James Patrick. I had Mother Superior Patrick was my one nun. She was a badass. What was her name? Sister James Patrick. I have Mother Superior. Mother Superior. Yeah, they were, you know.

And then I remember one time she came over and she said, don't get up for 10 minutes. And I shook her hand. And she said, you're staying there after school. I said, I know. It's great. I love going after school. You ever get, like, whacked with the ruler?

All the time. The back of the legs. The back of the legs. Ooh. The back of the legs. But I was reading in my phone yesterday about some of the things that the nuns have taught us. Okay. That really helped. Like, one nun said she cured this guy of 80 pounds. He gained 80 pounds.

And he went back to one word. And I went down and scrolled through all my, you know, Curo and trying to find it. And it said fundamentals. And he went back to fundamentals and he lost his weight. Then there was another one who actually saw students putting their, looking at the clock, trying to figure out when the class would be over.

So the nun went up and put on the clock time will pass. Will you? Yeah, they don't fuck around. Those nuns know what they're doing. I was actually down in Columbia recently and I noticed a ton of nuns

and I realized I've never seen nuns here anymore. No, nuns are old hat here. I've never seen nuns here. Nuns are old hats? Yeah, it's like around here. What the fuck is all nuns? It's passed them by. There's no more nuns, man.

Do they wear burqas if they're like in Abu Dhabi? I met a bunch of girls wearing burqas there the other night in London. It was like they were from Kuwait. What was that? Qatar. Yeah, and the one girl goes, no, I'm from Kuwait. She's got little glasses on, and all you can see are their eyes. And they asked if they could take a picture with me.

And I'm going, yeah, yeah. I said, can I take a picture with you? And they went, no, it's against our religion. So my wife was too afraid to take the picture with the women wearing the burqas. Wait, wait, wait. They had to take a picture with you? You couldn't take a picture with them? Evidently.

Wasn't that the story? That doesn't make much sense to me. I don't understand that for a second, but there's a lot about religion. But they knew who I was, and they were wearing their burqas. And it was like unbelievable. I mean, who doesn't know who you are, David? Yeah, but how do you eat when you're wearing those burqas? You take the burqa off. I think you lean forward and you go under.

You got to go underneath? Yeah. Seems like a hassle. It's a process. It probably keeps you fit, though. It's tough to eat. Keep it tight. That's true.

That's true. The best diet is to just wear it over your head. So you want to just go with monks and you want went to school with nuns, but then no hats. No hats. So, I mean, I just mentioned, everybody knows you because you've done so much throughout your career. I mean, from. I'm old. You're an old man.

You've been doing it for a long time and you've had a lot of like iconic type roles. So from Baywatch to Knight Rider to being this German sensation, music career, what would you say you identify as? Or what would be your like, yeah, that was the role or that was the project? Nick Fury. I did Nick Fury. I was the first Nick Fury and I got to be hanging out with a man who became a good friend of mine named Stan Lee. And he said, you're the consummate Nick Fury.

And I went and I read all the books on Nick Fury. And I made sure that Nick Fury was tough. He was a tough guy from World War II, and he took a pill that kept him young. But he had guys with a cigar, and he'd go, you know, guys like you tend to cling to the bowl no matter how many times you flush. And I loved it. It's a great line. It's an awesome line. You know?

He wasn't just like, you know, the superheroes of today, which are great. But he was a tough guy. He was a real guy that I could relate to, like from, you know, World War II tough guy veteran. But he had some powers. And that was—I really expected that to go. And that was a tough time for Stan Lee because he got aced out of the Marvel franchise. And it was on, written by David Goyer, who did Spider-Man. It was well written.

And it was a bit campy. It was a bit funny, you know, and the real nerds from the Comic-Cons, you know, they, especially the writers of the sci-fi Comic-Cons, they didn't like that. So they have a tendency to look at that and say, yeah, I also hop, blah, blah, blah, you know, and Samuel Jackson now is the new. But the Marvels now are still, they're still pretty fun, right? I mean, you were in Guardians of the Galaxy Yeah, absolutely

Guardians of the Galaxy wasn't fun It was perfect It was perfect It was perfect You know why? Because it had hard humor and action And because the man who made it Grew up watching Knight Rider

And he said when he was eight years old He saw Knight Rider and it changed his life And that was the James Gunn And then he put me in the movie And I said, God, I wish my dad Here's my dad What's left of my dad is his wedding ring. And my dad would have loved to hear the name Hasselhoff in the movie, because they kept

saying Hasselhoff, and they brought out a picture of me from Knight Rider, and he goes, Chris Pratt says, yeah, he's my father, and Gamora says, Zardu Hasselfrau? He goes, no, not Zardu Hasselfrau, David Hasselhoff. And he has a magic boat. He doesn't have a magic boat. He has a talking car. She goes, no, not Zardu Hasselfrau, David Hasselhoff. And he has a magic boat. He doesn't have a magic boat. He has a talking car. She goes, well, where is he now? He goes, he's probably with some hot chicks or touring with his band in Germany.

And I was laughing so hard. And I ended up doing the theme song and getting to know those guys and hanging out with Stan Lee even more until he passed away. That's a good guy to get down with, right? I mean, he's got to be one of the most creative people to ever live. Some of the characters he created in the franchise. He had incredible energy, man. He was 95 years old.

And the last time I saw him was at the Black Panther premiere. And, you know, I used to see him at Comic-Con signing autographs with a line around the block, just signing away. And he had to be like in his late 80s or 90s, you know? And he'd stay until the line was done, right? That's what they kind of always said about him, that he really never left any fan unserved. You know, I don't get it because, you know, they said, you know,

like the Marvel guys, they say, well, we take terrorists down, we give them a million bucks a movie. I'm going, you know, a million bucks a movie. I'm going, a million bucks a movie. They make an $850 million. Seriously, that guy should have a billion. Exactly. I always thought that. He's responsible for every character here.

You're making billions off of it. Well, he made a wrong move somewhere along the line, and he lost the franchise. So he's kind of like had some tough business things happen to him like I have. And so, you know, it's been really, but he's still probably the greatest American hero that I've ever met. Him and Muhammad Ali. You met Muhammad Ali? I was at a fight once and I heard, hey, Knight Rider, you're pretty, but not as pretty as me. And I'm sitting there, I'm going, oh,

that's freaking Muhammad Ali. Yeah, buddy. That's right. I'm sitting right next to him. You know who this is. And it was Lou Rawls. I became good friends with Lou Rawls and Muhammad Ali. I did a show about Knight Rider,

about boxing on Knight Rider. And I met Kenny Norton. I met them all. But Muhammad Ali, I kept running into him a lot. You know, like he gave me his robe. I have his robe. I have his gloves. I have his shoes.

I have at least 50 pictures with him. And Oscar, Walter, who took his pictures for him. We travel with him. But can you imagine that? I'm sitting there at a fight and I hear, hey, Knight Rider, you're pretty. Not as pretty as me. I'm going, no one would believe it. You know?

What year was that? That was 1983. It was a fight in Albany, New York with Bone Crusher Smith and TNT, I think. It was a Bone Crusher fought TNT. It was just a stupid fight of a big, out of shape, heavyweights. I mean, at that point, Knight Rider's crushing, right? Why are you and Muhammad Ali just in the stands? Like just regular customers.

Yeah, but it was if Don King was throwing it and he flew us all out, you know. Only in America, Don King with a hair, you know. Yeah, oh yeah. So, I mean, you just keep running to Muhammad Ali. You guys are just like buds at that point. Like, hey up muhammad how you doing like no big deal i would run into him and he would say david how's your wife i mean how's your how's your mom how's your dad you know and he had parkinson's disease and he was slower come here take a picture let me show you a magic trick you know and and in a way it was sad and in another way it was just unbelievable. He would take time with every single person to write an autograph,

which would sometimes take a while. I can't imagine Muhammad Ali being a fan of you. That's got to be the pinnacle of anybody. Well, you know, I met President Carter and I was, you know, I'm not Carter Clinton. I was jogging with him. He goes, you think a night rider, a Baywatch should ever be as big as it is? I never thought I'd be jogging with a United States president and say the word Baywatch.

Well, you did know, though, right? I actually learned this doing research for this. I didn't realize that Baywatch had only done one year, and then you kind of reprised it, and you backed it and produced it. Yeah, what happened was I had a single called Looking for Freedom, which is kind of why I'm on this trip. We're talking about my book, an audible book, which is about my time. Which, by the way, is genius because, I mean, what a voice.

If you didn't read that, I'd kill you. You have to read that. You have to do the audio version. It was so hard to do, though. You know, in the very beginning, I was like, how do I do the Russian voice? How do I do, oh, this is Hildy. And Greta, you know, I want you to go hard tonight. I want you to go. I'm going, I was just making these characters up, but I had nobody in there to say, hey, that's good or whatever.

I was just like winging it. And I figured, well, later on, they're probably going to go back, you know, Audible Originals by Amazon. Tell me to redo the whole thing. I did the first 30 pages over again because there's a whole technique to doing it. You have to really go. I have some of it with me. You have to go really slow. Like, hi, my name is David Hasselhoff. There it is, those pipes. And I was a spy go really slow. Like, hi, my name is David Hasselhoff.

There it is, those pipes. And I was a spy. You can't go, hi, my name is David Hasselhoff. And I was a spy. It's really tough. I was talking to Strahan today. I was going to let you fly without one of those. I was just chatting up with Strahan.

Anybody else, David, you fucking jerk. I called Kim and she says, I don't think I'll do it. I saw her going into the studio. You're a rich, ultra-famous club of book readers, you jerk. I wanted to call Kim and she says, I don't think I'll do it. I saw her going into the studio. You little ultra rich, ultra famous club of book readers, you jerk. No, I wasn't. You jerk. I can't imagine how hard this looks. It's hard enough to read just in front of class.

If you're reading for an audible book, you've got to be very stressful. You need to take it home and get into it and then be ready. So that when you come back, which I did, you know, I said, I got a piece of cake. And I went, no way. And this is too hard. I can't do it. You know, but I have a deal for like seven other books. I'm going, forget it.

I'm not doing seven other books. Make it into a TV series. And so we went in and we did it. And once I finally got the hang of it, it's really good. And the guy that did it, he's from New York, wrote it with me. His name is David Gordon. And he writes so good that you just can't wait to read it. And he's so good about technical stuff that really happened behind the Berlin Wall,

the importance of history, that when you read this book and you follow along in the Hoff and the spy gets recognized as David Hasselhoff and doesn't know how to sign an autograph because he doesn't know if it's two S's or two F's. And then I get recognized as a spy. And thereby the whole thing ensues. But it becomes really, really real and really heartwarming and at times very emotional, but still very entertaining. And so far, the people who lived in East Germany who are my fans, like Nadia and the Hoff Army. I have a Hoff Army. Yeah, I mean, this Hoff Army is the greatest entertainment phenomenon that has ever happened.

Am I wrong? What was the first sign for you? I mean, I know so you were playing as the wall came down and all that, but like, what was the moment where you were like, holy shit, I am an icon specifically in Germany. Like, yeah, you're

big over here and you're doing things in America and Hollywood, but the first moment that you were like, oh my God, I'm going to like make a jillion dollars and be this immortal over in specifically Germany. I mean, but the first moment that you were like, oh my God, I'm going to make a jillion dollars and be this immortal over in specifically Germany. I mean, what the fuck? That's got to be the weirdest thing ever. I think it's when one of the Hoff Army's girls,

they follow me everywhere. I did like seven pantos, which is like Peter Pan every Christmas in the UK. And sometimes they'll follow me to everything I do. And she comes in wearing, her name is Sandy, and she's lovely. Sandy is lovely, but she's a little hoff. And so she comes in and she goes, I'm Sandy.

And she's wearing a red dress. And I'm going, I have to go over and embrace her and make nice, nice about the red dress, right? So I do. And then I realized I have this entire army of people that follow me everywhere. And my last concert, honest to God, I did it in Berlin, opened in Berlin. I'm opening in Berlin this year on October 3rd, which is the reunification of Germany. It's the 30th anniversary. So I'm smart. I'm opening in Berlin. It's October 3rd, which is the reunification of Germany. It's the 30th anniversary. So I'm smart.

I'm opening in Berlin. It's going to be a huge concert, huge news tour. And I did a show, and the audience started chanting, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, off, off. And I just stood there. And it lasted eight minutes long. At first I got emotional and went, isn't this sweet? And then I went, shut up.

You know, come on, guys. I got to sing. And then every time I would stop singing, they would start chanting. So at the end of the concert, which was really a big success, it was only like 4,000 people, but we made a lot of money and huge.