KFC Radio - More Fire: Jameson Friday (and the Best of CCK featuring Smitty, Ellie, Marty Mush, Snapchat Steve and Daniela)

Episode Date: March 4, 2019

The fire fighters from Michael Davidson's battalion came by to present KFC with a plaque in appreciation for the money raised for his family. They are big fans of Jameson and beer and got everybody drunk. We brainstorm drunk segments for the future of this podcast and plan St. Patrick's Day. Best of include: The fire fighters in studio (20:21) to honor their fallen, Bryce Harper signs (41:50) with the Phillies and Smitty pops in to gloat, Jared returns to the show and needs a makeover (48:10), Deadspin are the self-proclaimed "cool kids" of the internet and are BIG mad that "Barstool ruined everything", Marty Mush(1:23:24) talks us through a happy ending, Johnny Manziel (1:46:10) gets kicked out of the CFL wile we are on air, Ellie defends her 15 chickens vs an elephant take, Daniela and Snapchat Steve make an appearance (2:02:18) , and Kayce explains how she cucked her guy friends, and Jared and Kevin plan to let the dogs out.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Week 43 of CCK is brought to you by Thursday Boots. I made the Thursday Boot, I made the Barstool Boot 1, I made the Barstool Boot 2. They've got an entire array of boots, all sorts of different styles, materials, qualities, cuts, and they are the easiest boots to get delivered right to your door. They get delivered immediately.

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two. Freeship2day and have your pair on your doorstep today. Thursday Boots. Go get them. It is Glancy the Rockets. The Rockets back. You haven't been back for one of these segments in like a week or two, right? Yeah, I missed the last one in Arizona. I'm going to miss the

next one. No, I will miss the next one. I'll be in Florida. You're two, right? Yeah, I missed the last one in Arizona. I'm gonna miss the next one. No, I will miss the next one. I'll be in Florida. You're going to Florida. So, this is your time to shine, baby. You got that new hair, that new beard. I don't know. I still don't think I found the look yet with the hair. I think it's more... Yeah, let it grow. Yeah, it's less about the product, more about the length.

I'm still waiting for a length that I'm happy with. Well, yeah, you gotta keep going. Yeah. No, I'm gonna power through. I mean, there's there's nothing i basically good about you you don't have to power through like it like your hair is fine if i i want if you want to go to like the next level you got to go through like an awkward phase but right now you're good to go and that's with everybody that's trying to grow their hair girls and guys like you hit an awkward phase where it's just like shit i can't do a whole bunch of it but i don't want to go back to it being super short but i want it to be long i feel like i've gone past the awkward phase already.

Yeah, because it's just going to keep growing and it's going to be easier to push back. Yeah, like right here. I'm touching your hair right now. Right here needs to just be a little bit longer. Casey's drunk. Are you drunk, Casey? No. That's the problem.

She's tired. That's what girls say when they're drunk and they don't want to admit it. Casey's just tired. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're drunk, bitch. 343 on a Friday. Casey's hungover. No, definitely not hungover. I didn't drink at all. I, last

night. I didn't drink at all? What about today? I had two. Wait, wait. You can't say I didn't drink last night but you've been drinking today. No one cares about last night. We're on to today. He said hungover, so I thought he meant. You're hungover from this morning. You already got drunk and now you're hungover already. No, I'll be completely honest because we're in the trust tree here uh i took a xanax

this morning needed one okay and then we did a lot of drinking and then you're see no but here i didn't do a lot of drinking though i had one shot i guess i'm speaking for myself i wish but see the reason that we're talking about this is because i wish that i would have because i had the one shot of jameson with the firefighters that came in which was awesome delicious and then i had one glass of wine so now i've hidden the I'm tired. You had one pint glass of wine. Hold on.

Hold on. Let me class this up a little bit for you. So I'm looking at this pint glass right now and the Barstool logo is on it. I was pouring it to the bottom of the stars. I was pouring what I would pour. I just had a glass of wine. It was 18 ounces, but I had a glass. It was pouring what I would pour. I had one ass hose. I just had a glass of wine. It was 18 ounces,

but I had a glass of wine. No, no. It was probably like five to six ounces. You don't think I don't want to be drunk right now? I would love to be drunk. I'm hitting that. What's holding you back? There's no more wine in front of me. I'm hitting that like tired moment where it's like you either got to like just stop or you got to just plow through. And as soon as I sat

down in front of this microphone, I yawned and I was like, it's over. I got to just plow through, but there's not sat down for this microphone I yawned and I was like I gotta just plow through but there's not any more alcohol in front of me. You know what I just realized is we've made Fridays like wine Fridays for on the air which means that we'll be intoxicated for every podcast that we do. Yes. Correct. You will hear us drunk on Monday forever.

Yeah. We tried to do champagne last week and it was hot. It was really bad. It was old. It was bad tried to do champagne last week and it was hot. It was really bad. But it was old. It was bad, cheap, hot champagne. But we were popping bottles for Robert Kraft. Ah. Yeah. Pop that dick.

Okay, here's a question. Do you have the kids tonight? Nope. Do you want to go have espresso martinis after this? Probably. Probably. Yes. I don't know if you can let the dogs out at the Smith.

No, no, no. We just go for a little bit. Yeah, you can you can let the dogs out at the Smith. No, no, no. We just go for a little bit. Yeah, you can take the dogs for a walk at the Smith. That was the problem with the last time we did this was that Kevin had to go take care of family stuff. I just immediately walked over to the Smith. I was drunk the last time. I think we all were.

Kevin and I didn't even remember doing the podcast. I was pretty drunk. Oh, so that was the thing. I just finished up with J.K. Simmons. Yeah. Oscar Award winner. His hat said, I'm not here. I'm finishing up the interview 30

minutes in. Yeah. I said, what does that hat mean? It was the name of the movie he's promoting. Oh, no. Are you fucking kidding me? I was like, I, but to be honest, to be fair to myself, I didn't know the name of the movie

when I was sober. I just didn't do enough prep. So it had nothing to do with me being drunk. It had everything to do with me being unprofessional. Very big difference. I mean, it's totally on brand for Barstool, though. If you came in here and you just knew, oh, your co-stars are this, the director of photography,

he'd be like, okay. Did he feel slighted? I should know the name. He laughed, but I'm sure he was slighted. You should definitely forget it. Feidelberg took care of it. He goes, are you fucking kidding me? And J.K. Simmons said, well, for those of us who are not shit face, it's the name of our movie.

Blame it on the alcohol, baby. That's all you got to do. Blame it on the alcohol. You preface the interview by saying that you're shit face. I didn't preface. We were like halfway in and we were talking about how much of it I was like, why are you here? You are slumming it, dude. And he said something.

There was some preface about like drinking or something. And I was like, yeah, I mean, I got to be honest. I got a pretty good buzz on. And then we kind of... So I said that and usually I lead these interviews, but I was drunk. Sometimes you got to race. And Fights had all these notes

and there was a pause. And I looked to him and I was like, Sometimes you gotta race. And Fights had all these notes and there was a pause and I looked to him and I was like, no, seriously, I'm pretty drunk so if you got any more notes, like, ask.

And Fights didn't say anything so I was like, okay. And I was just like, I gotta speak. And I was like, your hat. What does that mean?

It's just literally whatever's in front of my face I'm gonna talk about. He's like, well, it's the name of the movie. You asshole. Well,

dickhead, it's the name of the movie. You well dickhead it's the name of the movie you goddamn dickhead but to be fair I started going he got really awkward he won't forget you though no chance

he'll remember the asshole who doesn't even know the name of his movie half an hour into the fucking interview the car wash of all the interviews he's going to be doing

on this movie he probably won't remember but he's like that guy did not know the name of my movie when it literally slapped him in the fucking face. How is that not like the introduction, though?

Kevin's drunk, that's why. I mean, again, yeah. But I don't do that. I don't usually be like, hey, here we are. Here's what you're promoting. I just start it up. I'm like, what's up, dude? Yeah.

And then usually I get to it. But again, I didn't know the name of the movie going. It's probably not great. It snuck up on me. You want to know the full story? I didn't know the interview was today at all. I forgot about that. So I showed up and then

the firefighters showed up. And I got drunk. And then I had our show. And then it was time to do the interview. At one point there that's kind of on your brother this yeah that's that's on my production team that's on my production team at what point am i supposed to know the name of the movie i i you know what it is on them case it is on them totally on them because at some point i mean every fucking every fucking interview

i say before we start i say what is the name of the thing we're promoting? They should have a card or something. Like, cool, here you go. We need a physical piece of paper in front of you. It's in all of the emails. It's in all of the calendars. Do I have a calendar in front of me while I interview them? Talent has to have the support. Talent has to have support.

Oh, alright. Three talent people sitting over here. I just need, I don't have a calendar. If you want to give me a giant calendar while I interview people, sure. It's a technological counter. It's in your phone. You're looking at your phone constantly. Oh, that wouldn't be rude to be on my phone while I'm interviewing someone.

How about right before it? Right before you're about to sit down. How about right before it, you tell me what the name of the movie is. Yeah. Sir. If that's a reminder that you need, we could do that. You definitely should. It really is. What do you're about to sit down. How about right before it, you tell me what the name of the movie is. Yeah. Sir. If that's a reminder that you need, we could do that. You definitely should.

It really is. What do you think an actor would respect more? Kevin being on his phone and getting the movie right or Kevin not being on his phone and getting it and not even knowing what it is? I think he wants it right. Probably right. I think he wants it right.

Kevin, I... So we look at his phone and he's like, I see here this movie is called... How much... Every guest that comes in now would be like, hey, this is our guest. Here's the stuff he's promoting since you have done zero research. That's fine.

Let's roll. I can't believe you're saying that as if, I mean, like, yes. That's what producers are supposed to do. That's your job. You roll up and you are told, hey, you're the talent. You have to do the interview. What do I need to know? I'm totally on your side on this. And by the way, Kelly should have told you it too.

Our talent booker. Especially once everyone knows I'm drunk. I'm going to tell Kelly you said that. No, actually, Kelly is... You are in a lot of trouble. Yeah, you're fucking... Kelly's scary. That's not good for you.

She told Jeff Lotto's face you got to get laid. Oh. I mean... She told me I need Botox and I should shave my head. Yeah, how about that? She's like, you need Botox. Shave your head? Kelly is...

She's so rude. The best at what she does. Yeah, monster. But she has no filter. She's like anything else. It's like... She's like, you need to go touch your head. Kelly is good. She's so rude. The best at what she does. Yeah, monster. But she has no filter. She's like anything else. It's like, she's like a savant. Yeah. You know, it's like, oh my God, this person could throw a football 60 fucking yards, but

like, they can't read, you know? It's like, you have your strengths and your weaknesses. Yeah. I'm going to book you some fucking guests, but I have no bedside manner. Yeah, well, she's great, but you should have been prefaced. I'm going to put this more on your brother than her, just because I'm scared of her. Because you're scared of her? Wow. We're going to start pulling all sorts of out of context clips for Casey. That's what have been prefaced. I'm going to put this more on your brother than her just because I'm scared of her. Wow.

We're going to start pulling all sorts of out of context clips for Casey. That's what's going to happen. Guess what? They're all her anyway. They're all her anyway. I mean, okay. Some of them are. I mean, you had some gems this week, especially as it pertains to John Feilberg.

No, that wasn't me. That was Kevin today. Yeah, but it's going to be about you. Yeah. It's going to say like, Casey fucked John Feilberg. No, no. It was John just came in and fucked Casey is what you said.

She already knows it. Yeah, because as soon as I was like, this is not going to play well once people don't know the context on that. But I mean, I feel like Fridays,

you know, we've now started this thing where we're drinking. It's fun. This is fun. Drinking is the best. It's way better than not drinking. And that's for damn sure.

This is going to be great because you guys aren't going to remember any of this. You guys are going to listen to this on Monday and be like, oh. I will remember all of this. I'm okay. I'm okay this time.

I think two Fridays ago I was drunk. Because we drank three bottles of wine on air. Well, here's the thing is, so we have the Snapchat channel downstairs. And we do that Monday through Thursday. We don't do them on Friday because they only have the girls do it on weekends. So I was like, oh, great. It's Friday. I can get fucking banged up on the air and continue drinking after that. But they're like, hey, you're going to be in Arizona next week. Why don't we do a bunch of Snapchat takes so that we can air them next week? So

I did a bunch of them that they aired all last week, and I'm just slurring my words and all of them. Well, that's on you because I told them no. You just said no? Yeah, but that's why I felt even more obligated to do it. Because you didn't do it.

Yeah, I was like, all right, well, if Casey's not going to do it, then they need, those guys, I feel bad for them. They pop up here like gophers and they just look around

for anyone to make eye contact. They're like, please, sir, please a take? Please give a take? Because everyone knows what they're up here for. And if you don't feel

like going downstairs, then you're just not going to, you're going to avoid them, you're not even going to look at them. So they fucking pop up their head like a goddamn gopher. And I was like, what? They lurk. I'm like, yeah, I know. Dude, yes, I'm coming.

I told them, no, that last Friday. They were like, come on, you got to come down there. I was like, do you see how purple my teeth are? Do you see how drunk I am? No, I'm going to the Smith. Kelly goes to me, yeah, I mean, I could tell by your eyes. I'm like, yeah, I mean, I could tell by your eyes. I'm like, yeah, I mean, they're drunk guys.

It's like, these are fucking cause and effect. One of the takes that I had that Friday was like, I was talking about like a fucking whale penis being a Christmas tree or something like that.

Wait. This is a great segment. It's a real well-organized, terrific segment. This is what the people like, bro. Yeah. This is what the people keep coming back for

this podcast is going to morph I promise you by let's call it let's call it October this will be called like

it'll be like drunk history it'll be like drinking barstool I like it I sent a text listen I got a grand plan my whole plan here

is playing out perfectly we're gonna just ease into it and we're gonna just be like the drunk people at Barstool. It's a whole new fucking world. How about I just give you guys a random topic? Maybe you know about it.

Maybe you know a little bit about it. Maybe you don't. I'd love to do that. We should get a breathalyzer. You have to be a certain... That too. But I think you have to be a certain level. Nothing crazy. We're not trying to blow like.30. It's as much wine as you can drink in two hours

and do a radio show at the same time right be just above the legal limit and then you have to talk about a topic I'm so in on that every Friday

we put in 20 bucks whoever blows the largest gets the pot yeah but then okay so I'm just gonna I'm gonna starve myself yeah just don't eat

that's a good idea we're gonna get skinny and drunk and rich yeah I'm just going to starve myself. Yeah, just don't eat. That's a good idea. We're going to get skinny and drunk and rich. I'm trying to think of the best way to do that. I texted somebody in this office today right before we started radio and I said that the fact that I had taken a Xanax to calm my anxiety had already started drinking red wine

and took a shot of Jameson. If you're not asleep by fucking four, this is my downfall in life. I was like, if I was going to write a book about myself right now, it would be Xanax, red wine, Jameson and sex, the downfall, the downfall. I'll tell you what my downfall is. Uh, firefighters. Yeah. Like that. They came through and uh, I mean my, I got like family members and friends that kind of come from firefighters. I used to drink a lot more than I did. My very

first New York City St. Patrick's Day. My nose is stuffed up. Wait is St. Patrick's Day fun here? In New York? It's one of like the biggest fucking parades in the world. I mean I'm used to Boston so it's the best parade in the world. Didn't you fucking move here for St. Patrick's Day last year? Were you here by now? No. Went back.

I went back for Boston. Oh but you were. I was just really just being an asshole. Obviously I know for St. Patrick's Day last year? Were you here by now? No, I went back for Boston. I was just really being an asshole. Obviously, I know the St. Patrick's Day pretty well. I used to do St. Patrick's Day for the entire month. You do the first weekend of... Oh, so I guess it's like tomorrow is Hoboken St. Patrick's Day. Then you do... You get to pick when your St. Patrick's Day is. Boston does it correctly.

What, do you guys do it once? The whole weekend and the Southie Parade. Heard of it? Yeah, you do it once. We do it for. Oh. What, do you guys do it once? The whole weekend and the Southie Parade. Heard of it? Yeah, Southie Parade. Yeah, you do it once. We do it for a fucking six weeks straight. It's better when it's once. You do Hoboken, then you do Long Beach, then you do actual St. Patrick's Day, and then you want to get out of town, you go to Scranton. Comparing Hanukkah

to Christmas. Yeah, true. It's really not like that at all. I liked that. I really liked that analogy. They're all like Christmas, though. They're all like Christmas. Like, Hoboken St. Patrick's Day is way bigger than regular St. Patrick's Day and it starts right away. It's March the 2nd. That doesn't fucking count. I mean it does. You guys have

to go to Hoboken. You just sit around and wait. Alright fine I'll go. That actually is a lot it's very much subdued. They like started to fine people thousands of dollars to calm it down. But yeah we do it like weekend after weekend after weekend here. That doesn't happen in Southie. They started to fine people thousands of dollars to calm it down. But yeah, we do it weekend after weekend after weekend here. That doesn't happen in Southie.

They don't fine people. I don't like to drink in large crowds anymore. That's why you gotta do house parties. Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to Home Alone to St. Patrick's. It's a fucking disaster. I'm way too old for that. Is the parade route just on regular streets? Nobody gives a fuck about the parade.

Well, no, because in Boston, the whole thing with the parade route is that you just do house parties along the route. You're not actually watching the parade. You're just in there getting drunk or doing whatever you do on St. Patrick's Day. We just went to the end of the parade route. We were at Sutton Place. Remember that place?

Yes. That rooftop? It was a Brian. And his father was a firefighter, and we were just at this bar. And, I mean, if you're a firefighter on St. Patrick's Day, it is, like, fish in a barrel is insult to fish and barrels and women and sex. And I remember, I was like, I don't know, maybe 17. And these guys were showing us a good time, and they were just like, you and you make out. And, like, girls were making out in front of us, and I was like, this is the greatest day of my life. So that's, I mean, I've been around forever.

I come in here. These guys show up with pizza and beer, and I'm like, all right. Great guys. Well, yeah, I'm like, we got to start. I have to start drinking. I don't drink like that anymore, but they're with these guys. They come through. They're a guest.

Right. They brought a gift. I'm a couple sips deep, and they're all like, you guys want another one? I'm like, fuck, I do want another one. Here we go. You guys are way ahead of me already, but let's fucking go. And the Jameson comes out.

I mean, that's my Achilles heel. Casey, who is more attractive, police officers or firefighters? Just based on the uniform. Like generic, like the general would say probably firefighters. Really? Yeah. I would agree with that. There's a lot of badge bunnies out there.

Yeah, but how many, but like you always see like the shirtless firefighter calendars. You also see like the stripper cops though, I feel like. Cops show up like, you're arrested. Brr, with my dick. I mean, yeah, but the. They start barking at you. The party police. Firefighters with the whole, they do the suspenders thing with the big baggy pants. There's no shirt.

In fact, I was telling one of my girlfriends that we had firefighters coming in the building today. I was talking to her last night. We went and had some drinks and she was like, you know my bucket list is to hook up with a New York firefighter. They know that too. That's it. It doesn't matter who. It's just one of them. They walk up to the bar, a girl at the bar, and they say, what is on your bucket list is to hook up with a New York firefighter. They know that too. Oh, that's it. It doesn't matter who. It's just one of them. They walk up to the bar,

a girl at the bar, and they say, what is on your bucket list? And when they find one that is, they have sex with them. Actually, we were sober when we were talking about that, so that means she really wants to do it because we weren't drinking. So she was sober like, that's the only thing I want to do is hook up with a firefighter. I don't know if this makes the cut, but you asked me if I would shave my beard

for Andrea Russett, and I said no.ett and I said no, which is a lie. I understand. I mean, that's a lie. It's a lie. When Andrea Russett came to the store and said shave your beard, you would fucking do it. You know why he wouldn't? Because he'd be scared she wouldn't want to hook up with him anymore if he did it. Imagine if I shaved my beard and she was like,

eh, maybe not. It's almost like chopping off your own dick. Well, I would, but then I don't have a dick to fuck you with. Right. Yeah. There's some drunk logic for you I don't have a dick to fuck you with. Right. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough. There's some drunk logic for you. Yeah. I'm really proud of myself for thinking about that. So that's what's going on.

What? Is that it? What? No, no, no. I was saying that because I went to EMT school to become a firefighter, and then the second thing, they were like, you have to shave your beard. Like, you can't have a beard to be a firefighter. I was like, I'm out.

And I dropped out. For real? Yeah. I was like 11. No. I was probably like six or seven weeks in. Yeah. Firefighters don't have beards? Ever? You can't because you have to

seal the mask. You can't have facial hair. I guess you can have a mustache. That makes sense, but I just can't believe that you're that committed to your beard that you wouldn't even go save the city of Boston or hook up with your dream girl. Because clearly whatever's under that beard is a problem.

I mean, there's pictures out there. I look good anyway. Best of CCK coming up next. What's on there again? Rattle it off for him. We've got the firefighters. We debated whether Luke Bryan is hot. Daniella made an appearance.

Snapchat Steve made an appearance. Smitty made an appearance. YP's on a jerk off sabbatical No he's not He never even started And circle back around Jared said he needs a makeover Brought to you by Simply Safe

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Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. Kevin. You're just ridiculously stupid. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Is this Kevin? Welcome back. Oh, yeah, man, Is this Kevin? Welcome back. Oh, yeah, man.

How you doing? You good? I know you like that. I know you like that. Come on, you've been back. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. I see the girls in the club. Welcome back to another edition of CCK. It's a Friday.

You know what that means. We got wine. We got relaxed moods. Ellie just joined us because Kevin's not here. You know what that means. We got wine. We got relaxed moods. Ellie just joined us because Kevin's not here. Well, he is here. Casey just walked into the room. She was eating pizza. Hey, Casey. I was actually on the phone with our CEO.

Oh, okay. So Casey is big mad today. So this will be a good start. Casey, why don't you just pour a glass of wine, girl? I'm going to. Yes, I... today, so this will be a good start. Casey, why don't you just pour a glass of wine, girl? I'm going to. I'm going to. Whatever it is that's stressing you out, ailing you, just pour that wine.

Let me just say. We'll get into all of it. We don't have to get into any of it. We've got a couple firemen coming in in a second. As much as things may be stressful and things may be crazy, it's Friday. It's Friday, It's Friday and we have the

Engine 69 here and Eileen Davidson who is the widow of Michael Davidson who is the firefighter we all raised money for coming up on a year of his death. We're going to have his brother-in-law or his brother and one of his brothers at the firehouse come on for a minute

and talk. So it's one of those things where... Things are much more important in that aspect than the just inner workings of our drama. Right. But I did open a bottle of wine. I mean, I've had a few shots of Jameson and a few

beers. What the fuck? Do you want Jameson? Do I want Jameson? When did you start drinking? About noon. These guys came through. They brought a hundred pizzas and a bunch of beers. Oh, that was them that brought the fuck? Do you want Jameson? Do I want Jameson? When did you start drinking? About noon. These guys came through. They brought 100 pizzas and a bunch of beers. Oh, that was them that brought the pizza? Yeah. And they brought a bottle of Jameson that is aged 18 years.

Oh. Yeah. I didn't even know that. Excuse me. I didn't even know that Jameson does that. Like, that they do, like, the classy shit. So, yeah, bring them on in. Here.

I'll give up my mic. Yeah, let's do that for a second. And then we'll talk to them for a little while. And then we can get it because Lord knows I hope you're ready to go nuclear because I am with all your shit. Come on in, fellas. Take over my mic. There we go.

How we doing, boys? Come on in. We got one there and one here. Casey's very mad that we didn't do the Jameson. How are we doing, boys? Good. You can leave the cans off.

You just got to talk up on the mics. So I was just explaining how we did about, I don't know, 100 pizzas and a billion beers, and you guys brought by a bottle of Jameson. So we thank you for that. Yeah, just get closer. Who doesn't love whiskey? This is the least we could do.

Well, I know. People keep saying that. But that's, you know, I feel like it's the other way around. It's the least we could do. So we're coming up, unfortunately, on a year of Michael's death. So Michael Davidson was a fireman at Engine 69 here in New York, and he died in the line of duty last year and left behind a beautiful wife and four kids and all of his, uh, family members and brothers at the firehouse.

So we opened up, uh, the Venmo here at barstool. And, uh, aside from the Boston marathon situation, I think it was the most money we've ever raised for anybody. So it was up over a hundred grand. And, um And you guys came by and brought some pizzas and beer. And you were like, hey, thank you. And I think it's kind of the other way around. Because everybody throwing a buck here or there is the very, very least we could do for any fireman. And unfortunately, anybody who has died in the line of duty.

So we thank you guys. And it's one of those things that we're happy to do. We hope we never have to do it again, but when it does happen, we are all of our listeners and fans are certainly happy to do it. Yeah, absolutely. I think the fact that you have the outlet where we could help Eileen and

the children and just let everybody know about Mike. Yeah, that was fantastic and it was absolutely amazing what you guys pulled, pulled together. I got a little bit of time with Eileen today and we were talking about the kind of guy Mike was and it's, it's never like, Oh yeah. Like we lost a fireman or a police fighter. That guy was all right. He was decent. You know, it's always like the

best of the best, the real gems, the stuff that she was explaining, the kind of guy he was and the stuff he did, uh, was, you know, it's always that way, right? It's always that kind of guy. But I guess that makes sense because those are the type of guys who are willing to lay it all on the line and run in when people are running out and all those other things. So it makes sense. But she was explaining their whole story. For anybody who's like a New York, you know, grew up here in New York, met at Rathbones, had a share house in West Hampton where things, you know, kind of kindled up in the summertime. And it's like a lot of us kind of been in those spots and live those things. And the fact that they found their their love story there is unbelievable.

So good people all around. You guys are great people. Really appreciate it. You guys are great, too appreciate it you guys are great too and like it shows the good in people i mean unfortunately take something like this when you see the good in people but i mean the the money that you guys raised for the family is just we don't even have words for what you guys have done and it's just been so great like we we can't thank you guys enough that's our pleasure eileen uh showed me two of her kids

wrote a note a card uh i can't even talk about explaining what they uh what they like most about the money and then the new house that that she bought with it and i was like i can't do this eileen i was like ah thank you for the cards i'm good though i'm all set i was like i don't know if it's the jameson the beer, but I can. I'm all good. So it was very cute, very sweet. And, you know, Barstool will always be here for any firemen, police officers, anything like that. Again, we hope we never have to do it, but anytime.

Also, I want to tell you, listeners, like you guys originally, you raised the money. You gave us the money, which was great for the family. But throughout this entire year, Kevin has called Eileen on numerous occasions to see what else she needed. It wasn't just, here's the money, that's it, and we'll never talk to you again. He's been just supportive throughout this entire year, and I don't doubt that he will be for the rest of our lives. No doubt. We'll always be here for it. So anything the house, the firehouse needs, the family needs, you know, Barstool, that's what we're here for. So you keep us in the loop. And they gave us a very nice plaque, very cool plaque,

that I think will be front and center in the new office. Are the shirts still? And the shirts. There's a hundred of these shirts here for Michael. My man, Pots and Pans. I think he was that kind of guy. the shirts there's a hundred these these shirts here uh for michael uh my man pots and pans i i think he was that kind of guy so uh there's a hundred shirts out there so we can i gotta grab one of those yeah no doubt i'm sure i was like this this guy says to me uh we thought you know you guys were more of like the hipster type so there's a lot of smalls and mediums he goes i

don't know if we got enough 2xls i don I don't know where you got your info, but the bloggers here at Barstool Once they attack the pizzas, we really didn't bring enough on 2XLs. We're trying to hide some stuff under these shirts. We've also got some guys that can't admit that they're a larger

in XL, so they're going to try to wear the medium and the shmedium. A lot of shmedium. I did see some skinny jeans out there also. One pair is too many. One pair is too many. So thank you guys so much. Anytime you want to

come by, again, it doesn't have to be under tragic circumstances. Grab a beer, do some shots. The Jameson. Casey is so mad we didn't do the Jameson. I'm so just upset that Kevin didn't come get me because he knows if I could take one shot on this planet for the rest of my life, it's Jameson. Well, it's not even just Jameson. It's 18 years.

18 year Bow Street, Bow Street. I didn't even know. He says, here's the Jameson. It comes in a box. And I start to open it. And it's a wooden box with a metal sliding door. They actually only make it like once a year.

So for you guys, we brought the good stuff. My man. And it went down smooth. I'm sure it did. I took a shot of Jameson with him at the Super Bowl that did not go down smooth

for him. So if he thinks this goes down smooth, I'm going to fall in love. Oh yeah, you'll be chugging it. You'll go straight from the bottom. So just regular Jameson. We're good? Yeah, next time.

You don't need to. Next time, save the money. Yeah, give it to Eileen. No, it's a very, very nice gesture, but it was like somebody sent us a shot on stage at the Super Bowl, and it was just normal Jameson, which I like, just to take shots of.

It's like a cup. Kevin is just like... This is like a sipping Jameson. This is the fancy quality. The adult Jameson. It's supposed to be. We did shots of it, but it's supposed to be a sipping.on. So this is the fancy shit. The adult Jameson. It's supposed to be. We did shots of it, but it's supposed to be a sipping. That's okay, though.

As long as it's supposed to be the adult shit, you can still shoot it. That's the way I see it. Can we talk about Eric's mustache while we're here? That was the first thing I was going to say when he said that. I know there's no cameras in here, so this is terrible. Oh, no, there's plenty of cameras. How you doing, guy? Oh, yeah.

It's nice. I mean, you're in like Raleigh Fingers territory almost. I said it looks like he ties women to railroad tracks. Yeah. Cartoon villain over here. I love it. You got the Mets hat on. Bryce Harper just signed yesterday.

Yeah. For me, it was like, you know, he was already in the division. So it's kind of keeping the status quo. I was hoping he was going to get out of there, but I'm also one of these Mets fans, like a lot of people would say, as stupid as it sounds, I'd rather him on the Phillies than on the Yankees. Yeah, yeah.

So, I mean, I heard from my wife. He was never going to shave his beard. He's too pretty. He doesn't look good in a Philly. He doesn't look right in a Philly's uniform. I mean. He wasn't shaving the beard. I've heard for so long he's going to look great in pinstripes.

And I guess the Phillies rock pinstripes every now and then, right? Yeah, so I guess that's not wrong. But, you know, I can deal with a career 249 hitter. Shit. I mean... Cracked 100 RBIs once in his life. They leapfrogged, like, three or four teams in... In the odds?

Oh, yeah. Yeah? Yeah. I think they went from, like, 12-1 to 8-1 or something like that. We'll fucking see about that. At the end of the day, it's a scary-looking lineup.

It's still Philadelphia Phillies. It's still... It is. I mean, it's not like... I mean, excuse me, Kevin. It's not like they're the Mets. You know, they made some nice moves this year.

No, they did. I'm not mad about it. They did, but it's not like they haven't won before. They've been there. They've had success. They don't shoot themselves in the foot.

Well, they had their one. I mean, they had their one recently. But they could have had more than one over that run. They should have. They didn't even win one with Halliday. How the fuck? When you have Cliff Lee, Roy Halliday, Cole Hamels. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. You know that if he went to Queens, he would be hurt by April. Oh, for sure. He would be on Louisville until August. Or he would stay healthy and just be a detriment to the team. Yeah, somehow, someway. I've been saying all along, they did make some nice moves, and it all

really led up to one thing. It's like, okay, you made the small moves, now why don't you make the splash? Because you got Machado or you got Bryce Harper. One of the two, maybe both be a New York franchise for once, but you're so right that it's like it doesn't even fucking matter. Are you Mets or Yankees? I'm a Yankee fan

oh that's tough too Murphy's gonna hit 400 in Colorado you can't knock him the Sox are on fire they had a great season last year you couldn't hear it

in his voice that smug fucking Yankee thing in his voice you couldn't I mean you just never know like I always if anyone from New York comes up and says hi

I'm like Mets or Yankees like I need to know that before you proceed past hello it sets the tone yeah like it's how I'm going, Mets or Yankees? Like, I need to know that before you proceed to pass the law. It sets the tone. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it's how I'm going to speak to you moving forward.

No doubt. You're not a loser. Yeah. It's usually like, if they say Mets, I usually apologize. I start with an apology. But Yankees, I mean, like. Say fuck you. Yeah.

Yeah. Go ahead. Go fuck yourself. Zah, are you back there? Can you pull up Sean Avery while we got these guys here? So we were talking, you know, Eileen and Michael were living out on Long Island. We were talking about the Islanders. Frankie was there last night.

Islanders welcomed back Tavares from the Leafs, and they called him a snake. They threw snakes on the ice. And, you know, Frankie was, I mean, he turns into a madman. He's possessed by the ice. And, you know, Frankie was I mean, he turns into a madman. He's possessed by the devil. But Sean Avery was weighing in on the way the Islander fans treated JT upon his return to New York. It's coming through.

By the way, let me just paint the picture. He has a stupid hat on. He's throwing snakes on the ice. Who the fuck are they kidding? That guy played 10 years in that fucking dump with those shitty fans. Didn't say a word. Was a great captain. Never got arrested.

Didn't say fucking boo. You losers want to ruin his night coming back to play for you guys. What was he supposed to do? A lie during the season? Or was he supposed to give the answer that all athletes give when they know they're not coming back to a team? You fucking greasy Islander fucks. You guys get out cheered in your own barn by Ranger fans

every time the Rangers play the Islanders in Long Island. fucks. You guys get out cheered in your own barn by Ranger fans every time the Rangers play the Islanders in Long Island. Fuck you. Sounds like an episode of Trailer Park Boys. Sorry about the spotty internet. That's okay, Zas. It's not your fault. I mean, first of all, he has this ridiculous, like, Feidelberg type of hat on with the plastic

face. He looks like a... He looked terrible. I mean, he doesn't look like a human anymore. I thought he looked great. And there's the Ranger fan coming up. I mean, he doesn't look like a human anymore. I thought he looked great. And there's the Ranger fan coming up. I gotta be honest. I don't think that the Ranger fans out-cheer the Islander fans in the barn, do you? I mean, we could be real here. The Islander fans, they may be greasy

Long Island fucks, but they go pretty hard at the barn. You basically could go play at Superior Ice Rink in Kings Park. It's the same size as the Coliseum. It is. It's not the Garden. Now, but here's what he said. This is what bothers me. I mean, he said it best.

Like, do you give the answer that every athlete gives when you know you're going to leave a team? When you know you're going to leave a team, fucking tell them so they can trade you. Right. Like every other superstar who has an expiring contract who doesn't want to stick around, you let that team get something for you.

I guess, but it's also, you know, he might not have known for sure. I mean, okay. You haven't heard the pitchers back. They're still winning right now. Well, that's actually, you know, I mean, that's maybe, maybe it could be a happy ending for everybody here because the Leafs are good and the Islanders are surging. But I would agree with that. You don't know

until you know, except when you end up posting pictures of yourself eight years old wearing the pajamas saying, it's my childhood dream. I think you did know. But did he know that they were going to make him the pitch that... I mean, you can't negotiate with a player that's on another team. He would have to wait for him to be a free agent first.

It's like they might put together this dream presentation and you get blown away. It's like, like holy shit if it was me and you know uh i signed with the mets and it was like well everybody knew he was a mets fan his whole life it's kind of a fucking scumbag move so you know but do you expect the mets to make you the best offer if you're a free agent it's like what if certainly not yeah it's like whatever you could be never gonna happen like you could be playing for the marin Yeah, it's like, you could be playing for the Mariners, and it's like, yeah, it'd be nice to play for the Mets, but I'm

going where the best offer is. I mean, I guess it all aligns for him with the Leafs, but I don't know. You know what? Ranger fans really bother me. Ranger fans really get a lot of me. Do tell. Do tell. Since we're in the trust tree. At least, you know, Yankee fans have their 27 rings.

I get it. Are you a 27 rings guy? I feel like you're not. I've never once said that out loud. Thank you. He's got a brain. He's got a brain. I'll tell you what.

I respect the shit out of Boston. You can't beat the crafts. Am I allowed to say that on here? He came ready with the jokes. Unless you're a masseuse, you for sure can't. How do you knock the guy? You can't. He went to get his nails

done in the background to get a little something. What's wrong with that? Toss her a couple hundred bucks. When that news broke, by the way, all the guys, whether they hate the Patriots, love the Patriots, everybody in this office was unified that they were all okay with rub and tux. It was like, I mean, I wanted it.

I heard the news when I heard it was prostitution. I'm a Jets fan. I want to see the Patriots burn. I'm like, this is it. This is some salacious, horrible shit. And I hear it's, you know, Asian massage parlor. I'm like, well, sorry, Bobby. No big deal.

Don't worry, Bobby. No, but you got to respect Boston. It's a great city. And, you know, their organizations put the time and the effort and the money into those teams. And it's showing now. What do you think about Cashman flat out being like, this is not George Steinbrenner's team anymore. And we play by the luxury tax rules and we're not. He's full of shit.

Oh, yeah. I mean, he says that, but it's like. They backed it up. But the offseason that they had, they didn't sign Harper, they didn't sign Machado. He really could have just said, we're taking Harper and Machado and we're going forward. If George was still alive,

you know that both of those guys are Yankees. There is no doubt. But I mean, are you... A lot of... We got a lot of Yankee fans here who are 20 years old, and they really, they don't, they don't,

they don't quite know what it was like with George's Yankees. In the eighties? No, yeah. I mean, they, they definitely don't know that, but they,

Dave Rigetti was a stud. That was the best. Yeah. You know, like Dave Winfield was a big pickup. Yeah. You know, like he was like the highest paid for Asia of all time.

Yeah. At the time. That's right. And that's when Queens was rocket. Everybody was a Met fan. Everybody was an Islander fan. Right. You know. Yeah, at the time. That's right. And that's when Queens was rocking. Everybody was a Met fan. Everybody was an Islander fan. Right. You know, and.

But they don't know. They don't even really know the, you know, like they were very happy with Aaron Hicks' deal. And I get that. It was a nice deal. It's fine. It's nice. But what I was trying to explain to them is because I was busting their balls for it. They're like, oh, you wish you had a deal like that.

You wish you had a play like that. There was a time where you would have got Hicks and Machado and maybe Bryce Harper because they would have just said, fuck it, go get everybody. And so they're happy with, you know. And Syndergaard. Yeah, right. If they traded, they would have moved.

He would fit right in. Let me tell you that much. Noah? Yeah, Noah. He would crumble, I think. You think? Yeah. He doesn't like all the attention.

I mean, he likes the attention, but the good time. But he wouldn't like the bad guy. No, the negative attention. Yeah, he would want all the attention of like,, he likes the attention, but the good kind. But he wouldn't like the bad kind. No, the negative attention. Yeah, he would want all the attention of like, hey, like, blow me when I'm doing good. But if he's doing bad and he's injured, he wouldn't be able to take the negative. He would ask for that gluck-gluck. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, he would.

But, you know, it's funny watching the guys. Do you know that sound? Gluck-gluck. Yeah, listen, the Ranger fans, though, the Giants, you know, they had their, they beat the Patriots a couple of times. They're a very good franchise. How many rings would the Pats have had if it wasn't for the two times they played the Giants? I respect both of those teams.

But then you got the Ranger fans who act like, you know, they're on that same level. And you take away 94 and it's, what, one cup in like 60 years? Pump the brakes. I'm just saying. You know, it's a team. They love to talk about making the playoffs in a league just like the NBA where everybody makes the fucking playoffs.

You got the king without a cup. I'm just saying, maybe Ranger fans should pipe down a little bit. The hard part being a Ranger fan is that there's so much suits down low where the fans aren't on the glass. The fans are up top, and any other rink in the country or in Canada, the fans are on the glass banging on their chair, and you watch a Ranger game and you get these guys in the suits.

They're not even watching the goddamn game. They're sitting there. They're talking to the guy next to them, or they're on their phone, and it drives me insane. Get that a lot at the Garden and at Yankee Stadium. And you know what? I could care less about the Knicks. Let's be honest.

It's such a shame because maybe one day, when they are good, everybody's around it. Everybody raps on a team. The NBA in a hole. Yeah, you're out on that. I really have nothing for it. If you're not clearing 500 grand a year, you're not getting a good seat at Yankee Stadium.

It's true. It's true, man. God bless Marlins, man. I mean, that's Marlins, man, I sat behind home plate for Chris Sale against the Yankees

and he I think he struck out like 11 dudes. Easily the most fun I've ever had during a regular season game in my life. The NBA is like

backyard wiffle ball when we were kids. Now you just surround yourself with the best kids that were in the neighborhood. It's not like you have a team and you have an organization and you put it together and you win a championship and you build it. Now it's like, well, I'm going to go play with him next week. Fantasy sports, man. Exactly.

It's a joke. Larry Bird would never. Never. Never. He'd rather lose every game than go play with magic. That is true. That is true. That is true. Well, fellas, we really appreciate you coming through.

We're going to get a break now. Thanks, fellas. Thanks, guys. Can I get a shot of Jameson? Yeah, we'll get the bottle of Jameson out one more time. Can we talk about a Bartolo Cologne shirtless? Oh, I could do another two hours on that. Big Sexy on the boat with a bottle of champagne,

living the fucking dream. He's definitely drinking a Budweiser. That's a good point, man. Big sexy, always doing it big. Are we going to do another shot? Yeah, we're doing another one right now. We're going to break. When we come back, more CCK. Yes.

Oh, shit. Bryce and the Phillies. Let's go. No! How much? Just shocking. John Heyman had it. He doesn't have a connection to Scott Porras.

Dude, Heyman finally pays off all of his ridiculous tweets for the last six months. Well, he could go here, but he also could go here, and maybe he could go here. What are the terms? Nothing yet. Just says breaking Bryce to the Phillies. That is disgusting.

Yeah. That sucks. I mean, that sucks for you, but for baseball, I think it's good. Why? Passionate sports fans, a team that's up and coming. He's going to hit a zillion in that park. Yeah. I mean, he's going to put them off the fucking facade out there in right field.

I love it. I love it. This is where he should be. And I think it would be pretty good because we're going to be in Philly's camp next week. Oh, wow. So be nice. CBP still. I'm going to let I mean, like, that's the thing.

We have so many fucking baseball bloggers at this goddamn company that it's like that's the biggest story of uh the offseason and it's like we're almost done i mean he's gonna blog it obviously it's the phillies and then we have t-bird who's the phillies blogger do is just spit hot fire right now about it and make that your blog in about four minutes oh that's a good point all right here's my audio blog let's fucking go bryce harper to the phillies john hayman obviously has the report because he is scott boris's puppet uh this is not a good thing for baseball that it had to wait this long Harper to the Phillies. John Heyman obviously has the report because he is Scott Boris' puppet. This is not a good thing for baseball that it had to wait this long

for Bryce Harper to end up somewhere. It's not great, but the fact that he's going to a market with passionate baseball fans, he's going to a team... He's going to a team that has a chance to make a run at a World Series. Their rotation's good. They got Reese Hoskins in the middle of that batting line.

Oh, my God. Reese Hoskins and Bryce Harper in that bitch? Woo-hoo! Reese and Bryce? What a fucking asshole. Oh, Philly. That's worse than Conor Gillespie. Fucking Reese and Bryce sound like you guys should be playing lacrosse.

Get out of baseball. I mean, he's going to have an opt-out in here somewhere. Sounds like a frat. I'm assuming. Frat boy. Those guys. You want to talk about douchebags who treat girls wrong. Reese and Bryce are the guys who are fucking dropping loads at you

and forcing you to take plan B, like Jared. I'm assuming that he's going to have an opt-out. He's going to take a page out of Nolan Aranato's book and have an opt-out going either into or after his age 30 season that would be smart that would also make a lot let's go Smitty let's go Bryce my condolences to Kevin Clancy and the rest of that and uh and L.E.E.S. excuse me well here's the thing at least for me yeah it's actually status quo like it's not like he's coming to my division he's staying in my division so I always thought I was going to get lucky and get him out,

but I just had to endure the rest of his career the same way I already have so far. Motherfucker. Well, one caveat to this, and Hubs brought up a good point, John Heyman is a... Scott Boris puppet, yeah. Pretty much. And also, he just said Bryce to the Phillies.

He wouldn't try to hamstring this one, would he? Because he's the only one right now with any sort of source on this. He literally is. Because of another price? Exactly. He's Scott Boris' mouthpiece. Like, of course he has this news first. Like, he's probably sitting next to Scott Boris right now.

Like, he probably broke this with Scott Boris' fucking fist up John Heyman's ass. I'll take it. Yeah. I will say this. I got through the offseason with Manny Machado and Bryce Harper not ending up on the Yankees. I'll take that.

Bryce Harper stays in the NL East. I'm already used to that. Manny Machado's just long gone into the San Diego Oblivion. I'll take it. It's okay. David Wright's still a good guy. Fuck you, Schmitty. Bryce Harper, I'll tell you what. I'll tell you something right now. Here's my hot take.

What's that? Bryce Harper's not that good. Well, yeah. Relatively speaking. I don't think that's a hot take. Relatively speaking, whatever these contract terms are, he will be overpaid, and this will be a bad contract in later years. My prediction, 10 years, $340 million, something like that.

I would say three years, $340 million, something like that. I would say three years, $325. A nice round. 10 years, $325. A nice round, $32.5. What would make him the highest, AAV? Anything north of $32.5. Okay. So maybe $330 over $10, then.

Okay. I think either just going to give him just enough to be the highest paid player ever or highest paid in the game. So $330 over $10? Yeah. Okay. I'm going $340 over $10. We'll see. Motherfucker. Does he deserve it? I ever or highest paid in the game. So 330 over 10? Yeah. Okay, I'm going 340 over 10. We'll see.

Motherfucker. Does he deserve it? I think he... Here's the thing. Will he deserve it over performance-wise? Maybe, but probably not. But will he bring attention to the Phillies? Will he put asses in the seats?

Forget about all that. Will they be able to sell the merch? Also, you just have to overpay for the top, top, top guys. And I guess that's why we're talking about collusion and shit because owners are like why do we have to do that but you're just you're gonna give up year 8 and 9 8 9 10 maybe even 7 8 9 10 if things don't go well

for you know 1 through 6 because you're gonna get his years what 26 through 30 fucking 2 of his best years and you hope you win a goddamn title or 2 then and you deal with the fact I would gladly you wanna if I could have signed these guys and you told you win a goddamn title or two then and you deal with the fact. I would gladly. If I could have signed these guys and you told me that the year 2025

through 2030 are gonna suck but I get a title in there? Yeah. Done! Especially for a team like the Phillies. You know, the Yankees maybe want to play it safe. A team like the Phillies who wants to fucking win and needs to win and are historically a loser franchise. Go all in. Fuck it. I wish the goddamn Mets. You could fucking die Phillies who wants to fucking win and needs to win and are historically a loser franchise, go all in.

Fuck it. I wish the goddamn Mets. You could die. You could fucking die. Like, anybody who says they would take the opposite is wrong. That the fuck, and he ends up in the NL East. Like, the Nationals didn't even stop it. The Nationals were willing to let him go somewhere else in the division.

They offered him 10 years, $300 million. I know, but the fact that they wouldn't, that they were like, well, we can't let him go to the Phillies, so let's go to $400 or whatever. The fact that they were willing to let that happen and the fact that they were like, well, we can't let them go to the Phillies, so let's go to 400 or whatever. The fact that they were willing to let that happen and the fact that it could have been the Mets and they weren't even in on a fucking single. Convert. Station.

Fuck the Mets. Stay hot. Stay hot. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin, Kevin. Oh. Kevin. You're just ridiculously stupid.

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Is this Kevin? Welcome back. Oh, yeah, man, how you doing? You good? I know you like that. Is this Kevin? Welcome back to The Rocket, Jared Karabas. He rejoins the program. The gang is back together. It is CCK featuring KFC, Casey Smith, and the Rockets.

Hey. He's back. It's good to be back. A week-long fantasy camp. Fake life type of trip where you talk to every fucking major leaguer for like hours on end. Literally hours. Petting dogs, shooting the shit with the game's best, brightest stars, striking out Dallas Braden. Among others.

Among many others. You're crowd surfing through women. That was a bachelorette party. I'm sure it was. If I was the groom-to-be, I'd be sitting at home shaking my boots. Yeah, I really fucked up that one. Well, I guess the rocket fucked my future wife. Oh, well.

You know what? I feel like some of the people in the Section 10 gang would be like, okay, whatever. Oh, dude, we were at the fucking... Don't tell me. Wait. Don't tell me. That was already too much of a casual...

It's too easy. Didn't you see it? Yeah, I saw it. What do you mean? No, no, no. When we were doing the watch parties for the World Series, this dude kept coming up to me and being like, dude, if you want to fuck my girlfriend, it's fine. I was there for that.

I forgot about that. God, that... He came... He did. He walked back and forth. He kept coming back. I'd be talking to people and he'd be like, just, you know, if you want to fuck my girlfriend, just let me know. And then he would leave and then he would come back and be like, you know, offer stuff.

Cup holding is a thing. I mean, yeah, I know. I just can't believe that in the wild it's happening and the choice is the rocket. Yeah, no, he wanted me to fuck his girlfriend real bad. So last week when you were not here, I had Dennis Robin on KFC Radio. It's going to air later this week,

and he said that he would go, you know, he'd play a game, he'd go back to the hotel bar when he's on the road, and that he, like, many times couples would approach him and be like, yo, you want to go upstairs and fuck my wife? And I said to him, right to his face, I said, Dennis, I mean this in the most respectful way possible. You are the last person on earth I would want to fuck my wife. But now that I'm thinking about it, and he still takes the cake because he's a 6'8", gigantic man,

I would not want the rocket to fuck my wife. Why not? Because you would never hear the end of it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. From his standpoint, oh, it depends on who you are. Yeah, yeah. From his standpoint, oh. It depends on who you are. Inside your wife. Yeah, but it depends on who you are. It depends on who you are.

Right, right. If it was you, Kevin, I wouldn't rub that in your face. I'd feel bad about it. Well, you should just not do it, maybe. That would be like, Kevin, I just wouldn't hook up with a girl. I'd feel bad about it, Kevin.

Maybe just say no. Yeah, just say no. If my hypothetical wife ever asks to fuck you, maybe just say no. Just be like, no, Kevin's like my co-host. No, no, Kevin would have to ask me. No, no, no. If my hypothetical wife ever asks to fuck you, maybe just say no. Just be like, no, Kevin's like my co-host. No, no, no, Kevin would have to ask me. No, no, no. He would never ask you that.

But if he did, if he asked me to do it. You would say no. I would say yeah, but then I wouldn't talk about it after. No, no, no. I'm supposed to say no. You are supposed to say no. No, no, no, wait, wait. To be fair, if the guy is asking, if I'm asking.

Right, yeah. Then it's, you know, usually it's like a guy code thing I actually wait a minute wait a minute let's back this up let's slow down for a second we got a lot to get into but if a guy asks you to fuck his wife yeah let's just say partly you want to just say well this is what they're into

and I'll do whatever but part of you also I think has a responsibility to say you might think you want this but maybe you're a little bit drunk maybe a little bit kinky right now. You're turned on. When there's that moment of clarity afterwards, you're going to be like, wait a minute. Did Jared just have sex with my wife? And that's going to be a problem.

Well, let's say social responsibility. This is the hypothetical situation right here. It's social responsibility. All right. So hypothetical situation. Kevin is married, right? Okay. And Kevin's hypothetical wife, like Kevin Kevin fucked up. Like, he did

something bad, and the hypothetical wife is like, hey, your get-out-of-jail-free card is let me fuck the rocket. I would do that for you, Kevin. I would get you out of jail. You are a hero. If that's a progressive hero, that's what that is. You are a progressive hero.

We've got two on the show now. I would do Kevin that solid, and then I would never rub it in his face again. You, a thousand percent, would rub it in. Maybe not just straight to his face like, hey, remember that one time? But you would slide things in. Yes, you would. I love Kevin.

Would you not be concerned being the rocket at all, being a sexual napalm explosion, a five and a half minute, please don't use the word explosion, a five and a half minute tour in paradise. Would you not be worried that, Hey, maybe this wouldn't just be a one and done situation. Maybe we're going to have a problem on our hands because this guy's wife is going to be, you know, she wants to ride the rocket again and again. And again, I'm an open book, Kevin. So if that were, if that became a situation, be like, Hey, Kev, you got, you got a leaky faucet over there.

All right. You got to plug that shit. But you know what? You can't put that toothpaste back in the tube. No, you can't. But, I mean, again, it's a sticky situation. Yeah, I bet it is. But it's not something that I would involve myself in without your knowing.

I wouldn't do that. That's because you're a hero. Yeah. Progressive. It's an honor. Yeah. It's an honor to be doing this show with you, Kevin. Thank you, Kevin.

It's mutual. It's mutual. Had you not been all over social media last week, we thought you would have died. I thought there was a chance you just weren't going to come back at all. Yeah. Now I thought about it.

In the sun, whipping wiffle balls around. No, there was no sun. He said it was cold the whole time. 45 and rainy every fucking day. In Arizona?

Every day. The fuck? Except for the last day. People, the locals were like, yeah, it rains 20 times a year here. You were here for one fourth of it.

Yeah, that's crazy. I once went to San Diego for a 10 day trip. It rained for like nine days and the city was like, we don't know what's happening. Well, I mean, yeah. It snowed one day. Yeah, you guys were in the hoodies the whole time. I was like, what's going on there? I'm repping the merch, thank you, but is it warm?

I guess not. It's not warm. It was a good week. I mean, we're almost reaching the point at Barstow, and this will segue nicely into the Deadspin situation. The amount of content and the quality of content you had coming out of there, it's just impossible to keep up with everything we're doing. Yeah. Because it's like we got all this normal drama going on here in-house and normal fucking shit that it's like you almost don't even realize that we got two guys out in Arizona who are getting exclusive interviews with people opening up for real and talking to a reporter that, you know, no other journalist in the game can get these guys to say these things.

And it's like, God damn, how do we even disseminate all this shit the right way? Because there's so much of it. I won't say what team it was, but there is one team that straight up told us like we don't associate with Barstool and we still got one of their guys anyway. We just worked around it. We were like, hey, do you want to do the interview? And he was like, yeah. So we interviewed him. I want to run down a roster of who you talk to. I'll tell you after the air,

but there was one guy who their team was like, yeah, we don't work with Barstool. Did you interview any Yankees? Not yet, but we will. Okay, so it's not them? Because I can see them having a rule. No beards, no long hair, and no Barstool. What's my guy's name? Mike Because I can see them having a rule. No beards, no long hair, and no barstools. What's my guy's name? Mike Clevenger? Clevenger, yeah.

That was awesome. That was the beginning of just Deadspin just getting roasted. He tweeted last week. So I actually didn't even click on the article. Deadspin took something that he said basically out of context and kind of made it sound more serious than it was. But they've also written about him before.

Well, he likes to mix it up on social media and shit, right? Yeah. So they probably don't like that. Awesome dude, though. Yeah, he seems great. Long hair, just fucking doesn't give a shit. So he had said something, Deadspin took it and ran with it, and he said, You guys are so fucking clueless that you didn't realize we were just kind of busting balls in the locker room,

and you're so clueless that you don't even realize that Barstool is putting you in a body bag. Correct. Fast forward to today. Oh, Jesus Christ. Last week was Gun Girl. Jared, you weren't here and I said... Poop Girl. Yeah, Poop Girl. Sometimes you wake up and you're just like, what if the internet doesn't provide any material today? And sometimes the internet drops Poop Girl on your lap. Well, today it's Monday, starting off another

week. What are we going to talk about? How are we going to start things? I thought we were going to talk about Robert Kraft again. Right, right. Yeah, but how, like last week was from Gun Girl to Robert Kraft, Louise in between. There was so much. I was like, how are we going to match that? And then the Washington Post drops this article about

Deadspin.com. That was so utterly preposterous. I thought, I thought I was reading like Onion articles. I thought I was reading Onion headlines. I thought it was sarcasm. I thought it was sarcasm I thought it was a joke I didn't know what was going on so the Washington Post writes this article basically praising Deadspin

with the headline being at Deadspin can the cool kids of the sports internet become it's moral authority which is like an article that you maybe could have written in like 2007.

Maybe. Like back when Deadspin actually had some teeth to it and some quality writers and actually were considered like a competitor, there was a time with certain editors and certain writers that they were cool, I guess. I mean, the notion of like the cool kids of the internet in general is kind of inherently

lame in a way, if you're like running around calling yourself the cool kids, but I think we can agree no matter what, that you would not call the Desmond people, the cool kids. And I don't think that it's just because of like, we're obviously going to say that because we work for Barstool. I think if you went out and polled people who just consume the internet, consume sports on the internet,

Deadspin would not register to anybody. If you're talking about like, well, on so many levels because I think they're just kind of like floundering right now, but certainly on the level if you want to talk about like stereotypically cool meaning like edgy and don't give a fuck and you're cool, I don't think anybody is naming

Deadspin.com at the top of that list. So already we're off to a rocky start where it's like what is going on here? And then there was just quote after quote after quote from this article that i just couldn't even believe uh and it's all the thing is it's all unironic too they're not trying to like be ironic at all the washington post took a huge hit in my mind who's the writer uh let me find out it Well, here's the thing. You can't, you can blame the Washington Post,

but you can't because like old school mediums are like, they're behind. You know what I mean? They're like, they don't know. It's not hard. I can't even open it up

because the Washington Post Yeah, you have to like pay for it now. Hold on. I think I might. Somebody tweeted at me and said, I'm not going to pay

to read this article. And I was like, what are you talking about? And then I realized you have to pay to read this article. And I was like, what are you talking about? And then I realized, like, you have to pay to read the Washington Post, which is ridiculous. It's, you know, they are catching up to 2008. You know what I mean? Yeah. They think of A.J. Delorio and McGarry and Will Leach and, you know, when they were relevant.

And now they're writing this article not realizing that, like, they're literally about to quit a business. Ben Strauss to go out of business. Ben Strauss. Never heard of him. Yeah, I don't know the name. So our fearless editor in chief, leader of the blog, Kay Barker put together the top seven most ridiculous slash embarrassing quotes. So the green monster, that's Megan Greenwell.

She said, quote, there's a joke that when every new editor takes over that they ruin the site. I don't want to be the one who ruins Deadspin. Well, spoiler alert, Megan. Univision is ruined. The website's ruined.

They've gone out of business like three times and they're begging for yet again another person to come in and swoop in and spend the money and save it. So I think the horse is out of the barn. If you're being sold and they're begging for yet again, another person to come in and swoop in and spend the money and save it. So I think the horse is out of the barn. If you're being sold and they're begging for it, you've ruined it. Yeah. The way that works.

Number six. Again, what was funny about this article was that it's supposed to be like a feature on Deadspin.com. Yet BarstoolSports.com was mentioned probably more times than the actual site they were featuring. Deadspin is so cool. Here's all the things about Barstool that make it cool. Wagner, this is Laura Wags. Everybody knows Laura Wags. That's Dave's crush.

She said she has little sympathy in reference to Dave saying, I wish that Deadspin could put out one piece of content not mentioning us. And asked whether there was a goal to cover Barstool. She said, quote, I want them to be seen for what they are, which is not a legitimate sports website. No kidding. There is not one person in this building that would argue that we're a legitimate sports site. It's almost like we should drop the sports and just be Barstool,

kind of like how Dunkin' Donuts wants to drop the donuts because they're more than donuts. That's been talked about before. Yeah. I think that ultimately just kind of for the average person or for the average sponsor or someone who doesn't quite know the ins and outs,

it's kind of a good thing to just be lumped in with the men's sports websites of the world. It's a little more nuanced. I absolutely think we should just be Barstool and just be like a comedy brand. But when people refer to us, they say Barstool. Yeah, no one says Barstool Sports. And no one is like, I go to Barstool for the fucking sports coverage. The diehards

will love the individual sports blogs, the guys like Rear Ads covered hockey, and Jerry, and the basketball guys, Greeny, and Riggs, and all that. Baseball coverage. Yeah, well, baseball could be a little bit better, but whatever. Again, it's always done with like the barstool twist and the barstool comedy and all that shit but to be out here being like they're not real journalists like no fucking kidding oh shit nobody thinks that we are it's crazy that we just they take these things and

these like negative angles about us and run with it. And like nobody over here would argue it sometimes. I came from, and I mean, Jared, obviously to a certain degree too, like coming from media in Boston, it's like I know what legitimate sports sites are. I did not jump off of network television to come to a legitimate sports site. I came to Barstool because it is Barstool. Lifestyle and humor. I just don't understand.

The whole brand of it all. What I said when I read this, and I know you're going to get to more of it, it's like I thought in a very small amount in my brain, I was like, maybe Deadspin is smart enough to where they know

if they troll Barstool, they will get the Barstool clicks. Like maybe they're doing, they're taking the Skip Bayless effect, right? That's what, you know, everyone right now, well, you're talking about it on radio. It's like, yeah,

I'm talking about it because it's fucking utterly ridiculous and it's going to provide a lot of laughs and it's going to be very fun to point out how stupid and hypocritical all this shit is. So, you know, if this, like, this ship that's sinking over at Deadspin can grab, you know,

a couple days, a couple more days of life extra, like, fine, whatever. But that's the thing is that I realized after reading this, and I should have known better anyways, but again, it was just always like a little thought in my head that maybe they were doing this on purpose after reading this article they're just the dumbest people on the planet right they really are like they they have zero self-awareness zero number five on the list deadspin has covered barstool's travails exhaustively but

portnoy offers no contrition and considers the criticism hypocritical uh quote can you write one thing that says disregard everything that built me up and made me famous and say none of it counts he asked and now I can criticize other people for making the same jokes because you look at every fucking editor every writer from Deadspin and they've all made rape jokes

and sexist jokes and racist jokes and they turn around and they say well I was ashamed of this it was a long time ago I don't do that anymore and like here's the fucking deal and they say, well, I was ashamed of this. It was a long time ago. It was a long time ago. I don't do that anymore. And here's the fucking deal. We don't really either.

Everyone here, the landscape of humor has changed. The people here have changed. I can only speak for myself, but the amount of shit that's changed in my life from 10 years ago till now, everything I've ever written about marriage and kids and fatherhood and all that kind of shit, it all changed. There were things that I wrote that I thought were funny that I don't think are funny anymore. There are things that I thought were true that I know are not true anymore. And so Dave has done it, too. I mean, the amount of the amount of things that Dave no longer says because either a he doesn't find it as funny anymore or b he knows that you know it's offensive or whatever it is it's crazy to say it but he's grown and he's matured but the difference is he's not gonna just apologize and like trash his old self for what he did at the time to be funny i don't get why you have to do that yeah like you can you can still look back at some of those jokes

some of those barstool blogs and be like oh damn that was wild. Like, you can still look back at some of those jokes, some of those Barstool blogs, and be like, oh, damn, that was wild. Without being like, I can't believe that I was that type of person, and I need to go seek counseling. It was a different time. Sense of humor was different. You were different. And at the time, it played, and a lot of people laughed. Now you don't do the same things, but you don't have to turn around and, like pretend this entire part of your life doesn't exist anymore because things change and by the way that's the way everybody's actual life is too

like if you look back in 10 years ago like the stuff that i was doing in my personal life i would not stand by some of it now but that's but i'm not gonna apologize right like you would look back on your let's say you went through not you i'm saying no probably me you go you're in college you're fucking partying sex drugs rock and roll you're fucking up at school you're fucking up at work you're you're with people you shouldn't be you're doing things you shouldn't be and you've grown up and you've matured but you don't look back i mean maybe some people do but i look back on those moments and i'm like damn that was wild it was a good time i can't do that anymore i made some stupid mistakes but hey that's life i don't look back

being like oh my god i can't believe i was that person and i need to disavow anything and everything kevin clancy did from 1999 to 2020 you know what i mean it's like like cancel those years just cancel like that that i feel like there are some things that i've done i'm like damn i wish i wouldn't have done that but i'm not gonna make like an apology and be like hey remember everybody that was affected by me that one night when I was 19? Whatever it is. And what's crazy is they have things that they should apologize

for. Exactly. The video of the girl being sexually assaulted on the bathroom floor where they said, please take this down and Deadspin was like, nope, fuck you. It's the internet. We put up whatever we want. The stolen sex tape of Hulk Hogan secretly being filmed or whatever being put on the Internet that took them down. Those are actually things you should apologize for.

Those are things you should be ashamed of. And at the time when they were offered the chance to do just that, they didn't. So, again, hypocrisy coming out of your fucking ass. Number four on the list. Oh, I guess they actually they they do. They did say the site has a disgusting past that can never be atoned for that was a current deadspin uh staffer um but then in the same breath number three they said deadspin caters to the smartest people oh it's the people

it's the people with the best sense of humor giving you the smartest takes have you ever met someone i'm genuinely asking have you ever met someone, I'm genuinely asking, have you ever met someone that was talking about something that Deadspin had written or something that they were doing? Not in many years. I'll give them credit on a couple things. Manti Tile.

I was about to say, that one was the last one that I could think. And Brett Favre's dick pics. Those were like, Deadspin figured these things out. Alright, so those are stories that they've broken or whatever. Something they write or say. I'm talking about, yeah, like a fan of Deadspin being like, yo, did you see Deadspin yesterday? Never. The last time that someone suggested to me that you should check out Deadspin or you should write like Deadspin was 2009 or 10 when I was trying to start this new website

and the guy that had built this site and wanted me to write for it was like, check out Deadspin and see how they write and that's how we want you to write. That was over a decade ago. And the Manti Tate stuff was 2012 and that really is

the last thing that I can think of that was like, oh, they did something. Again, that's like that really is the last thing that I can think of that was like oh they did something again that was like investigation like I mean I can I can pick out things that Bill Simmons wrote on page two that I remember like he coined certain phrases and the Ewing

theory and the Tyson zone and the way he used to cover the challenge and I can pick out quotes from Portnoy that like made me want to write for Barstool. I don't think I can do that ever with Deadspin. I can't even name people other than the editors that we all know. Right. That quote seems to me it's like they're trying to rationalize

the fact that there just aren't any smart, funny people. Like, we cater to the sophisticated, top people on the internet. I can't even imagine. When was the last time you heard an actual funny person be like, I've got the best sense of humor. I am just the funniest person and the people who like me are the fucking smartest. Dave.

I was about to say that sounds exactly like Dave. And that's what's actually very funny about Deadspin is like this article and the way they're talking and the way they're acting is everything they hate. Yeah. Being like I mean yeah and yes yes when dave does

it i fucking roll my eyes i'm like god shut up but he doesn't actually mean it i i actually never know what dave i i can never tell where the line blurs between portnoy and el presidente it's like a walter white heisenberg thing i think he's gone full presidente but i mean you know keith wrote just very simple bends over farts in a jar and and huffs it. That's all you're doing. You're smelling your own farts, Deadspin. Now, we get to the coup de grace here. The best. I mean, this quote. Have you read this yet, Jared? You're going to love this, dude. I'm looking

at, I'm reading along. Megan Greenwell Don't read it yet. Let Kevin break it to you. This, it's so short and simple and sweet. Megan Greenwell is talking about, she's the Green Monster. She's talking about where she lives. Okay.

In Williamsburg. Is she a Deadspin writer? She's the editor. She's the one that Dave went after when he was like, he was like, if I hadn't progressed, I would say that you're as ugly as your dog.

Oh. Because she did look like her dog in that picture. She's explaining to this Washington Post interviewer that she lives in Williamsburg. In Brooklyn. And she clarifies. She puts out the disclaimer, though. But it's the part where a lot of Puerto Rican families live.

I'm sorry. Why is that of note? I have no fucking clue. Like, is she trying to seem like she's diverse? She has a black friend. That's what she's like. She has a black friend. My president's black. I can't be racist.

I don't know. Whatever the rationale is, like, I don't know whether you think that means you're more credible, whether you think that makes your website funnier, whether you think that you're,

like, edgier because you're, like, a white girl who lives in an ethnic neighborhood or something. Whatever your logic is there, it's actually genuinely problematic

to be perfectly honest. Yeah. I'm not going to get bent out of shape about it because I'm not, like, actually genuinely problematic to be perfectly honest. Yeah. I'm not going to get bent out of shape about it. Cause I'm not like the dead spin types and shit. But if someone else was playing the whole, like, well, I live in,

in Brooklyn, but it's not the hipster white Brooklyn. It's the Puerto Rican Brooklyn. So like, if you said this, Kevin, I would be so, which is very funny by the way,

too. Cause I was like, listen, if living near Puerto Ricans is what makes you the cool kids of the Internet. I'm the fucking prom king. OK, we can go to City Island on a Sunday, do a little Sunday brunch, maybe Mother's Day. You will Sunday brunch in City Island in the summer. And it's like all of Puerto Rico has showed up.

Yeah, we could. We want to do that. I mean, then Barstool has all the credibility in the world. I don't know what that that was kind of a very quick... They just brushed over it. So I don't know if she went on to expand upon why that matters. But honestly,

it's one of the more ridiculous things I've ever fucking heard. I can't think of why it would matter. The word butt changes it entirely. Oh, absolutely. If she just said, I live in the neighborhood with a Puerto Rican guy,

that would be a strange thing to say, but whatever. Yeah, the butt changes the dynamic entirely because if she's like, yes, I live in this area, the part where the Puerto Rican families live, would be a strange thing to say, but whatever. The butt changes the dynamic entirely because if she's like, yes, I live in this area, the part where the Puerto Rican families live. It's like, alright, I know that general vicinity. I live in this area, but it's where the Puerto Ricans live. Like, I'm not a cool white hipster.

Don't look at me that way. I'm slumming it with the Puerto Ricans. Honestly, if it's a commentary in that, then that's just kind of racist. That's the way I read it. I don't know if that's the way she meant it, but that's the way I read it. Whether it's a commentary in that, then that's just like kind of racist. That's the way I read it. I don't know if that's the way she meant it, but that's the way I read it. Whether it's like you think that you're slumming it or you think that you're funnier or cool or credible or I don't know what. But it seemed like a ridiculous thing to put in there.

Why would you ever say that? I wish I could open up the actual article because this is just a – I can. I have it. Is there like anything before or after that that gives a little more context on to why it would matter by the way i'm kind of concerned like that i can open this and there's no way i bought this so whatever it says you can open okay so the quote before it says they want to be some kind of moral yeah but but before that because this is this this is i'm just saying if there's any color in general because the dude who wrote the article says that she sometimes embodies the like what she's saying

here okay so it the right before it it starts talking about how barstool has like never changed and they talk about the rihanna fat thing. They talk about Sam Ponder. Then it talks about how Clay Travis has the DBAP thing. And then all of a sudden, the next paragraph is she drops the Puerto Rican families. That's the thing. It's talking about Barstool, talking about Outkick the coverage, and then it says,

well, she pushes back at the critique of being self-serious because she lives in Brooklyn's Williamsburg, Puerto Rican neighborhood. Basically. I mean, I don't, I don't follow.

I'm the one overreacting here, but I think this is like absolutely preposterous to say in an interview. Yeah. Like, don't worry. I live with Puerto Rican. Yeah. I would be mortified if that like got taken,

like that was part of the interview. I'd be like, Oh fuck. All you have to say is like, I live in Brooklyn, but not the hipster part. You don't even need to say any of this. None of this really, it doesn't apply in any way. If someone was like, I don't know, all you associate with is white people. And you're like, no, I actually live around Puerto Rico.

Give me some reason to be bringing this up. There is no reason. Literally no reason. And it just screams to me, like, this is the- this up. There is no reason. And it just screams to me like this is the corniest most cliche

type of white person who's like no, don't worry. I'm not like other white people because I live around ethnic people. The worst. I like to believe that there was some sort of context around it when she was talking about it. Because anytime... Maybe, hopefully.

But even if there was, nothing would make sense. Literally, there's nothing. Even if she talked about that for five minutes, why would that be a part of this story? Super embarrassing. Makes no sense. If that was me, I'd be very, very embarrassed. And they had to have known. As soon as she said it, I feel like she had to have been like, okay, well,

wait a minute. I don't want that. I guess. Yeah, right? I know. I would. If I were to be telling my story and I was like, yeah, when I was in like seventh grade, I was like black KFC and I was hanging out with black kids and Puerto Rican kids. Just like telling the story. Fine. But again, that but implies to me like you think that that makes

you like better or different or something. And anytime you throw the race into it obviously becomes a big deal. And my own personal thing, it's like when I talk about sideline reporters, every single time I do an interview, like, look, sidelines just weren't for me. I really appreciate what sideline reporters can do because I've been quoted one time like, I think

sideline reporting is trash, which is just not true. So when you put that in there you realize okay you're going to spin it back to yourself race you don't you can't there's a zero reason why you bring up somebody's race like you can talk about your own personal experience and you can defend it unless you think you're trying to like unless you think it makes you look cool or some sort of credibility

you throw race in or like sexual orientation in for no reason I mean well that but that's kind of what they do right I mean they do that with everything. They inject politics into everything, which is what K. Marco had as the number one quote from this whole article. He says she, so I'm assuming we're still talking about Greenwell. Yeah.

She added, quote, Trump ruined everything. Barstool ruined everything. This is the green monster? Yeah. Okay. Which is just I find actually oddly satisfying that there is this

idea that we have ruined quote, Jared, everything. Not just some of the things. Not just one thing. Not a couple things. Every. All. You know what her greatest mistake was? What's that? That's going to be a t-shirt. Absolutely.

She's going to make the company money for saying that. Billion percent. It's like when they said, it's like when they said, we weaponize social media. I bought that shirt. Yeah.

It had the crosshairs on it and everything. That was an awesome logo. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure I worked here when that came out and I still bought it just to support the cause. We changed the banner across the top

to Barstool Sports, we weaponize social media. Yeah. Barstool ruined everything. I mean, I'll wear that shirt. That could be the rallying cry for a BRE, man.

Like, I just love the idea that this girl and everybody else in Deadspin, they wake up in the morning and like, they take a sip of their coffee and they're like,

fucking Barstool. Tastes gross because Barstool ruined my coffee. And connected it to Trump. Like a puppy comes up to you and is like licking your face and they're like, fucking Barstool. Tastes gross because Barstool ruined my coffee. And connected it to Trump. Like a puppy comes up to you and is licking your face and you're like, get away from me, puppy. Barstool's ruined this puppy. The laughter of children. The beauty

of a sunset, Jared. There's a double rainbow and everybody's like, wow, look at that. And the Deadspin writers are like, fucking Barstool. They've ruined this. They've ruined this for me. And Donald Trump. I'd like to point that out again.

Like, it was, Trump ruined everything. There was nothing in between. It's the president of the United States and Barstool Sports. Wait, Dave is attributing that quote to Laura Wagner. Is that?

It's not. I don't know. I, Marco, said she. It's Greenwell. Is it? Okay. Yeah, because it's, either way.

She says, I always want Deadspin to do the fun and silly but percentage wise it won't feel like it did in the old days because the internet is dramatically less fun she added trump ruined everything barcelona she's not wrong that the internet is dramatically less fun but guess why because of people like you not barcelona right like you guys are the one trump trump absolutely he he polarized everything everything is now black and white everything is politicized.

Everything is argumentative. That's a fact. She's not wrong there. Barstool is the one beacon of hope where it's like we're still making light of everything. Deadspin are the ones that are like, hey, you guys making jokes over there? Let's call them off. We call it down the middle. We get involved, but not too much.

We still continue to try to make the same jokes that we would always make. You guys are the ones that are actually contributing and playing into the internet no longer being fun. Friday was the perfect example of the way that the internet is less fun. The Robert Kraft news hits, and everybody in here is able to separate the billionaire getting a rub and tug happy ending and the sex trafficking. Chaps had the perfect quote on High Haters. I from deke sucker he was like if you can't separate those two things you're fucking loser and that's friday is a perfect example of how barstool has stayed true while everybody else was lacking the humor in the smaller part that we were talking about and deadspin is lumped into those people thousand percent i mean the fact that they don't

realize that they are i would would even, I would go further and say not just part of the problem. They like are the problem. Yeah. It is very funny. Let's take one call before we hit the break. Sandy from Oakland, Oak town. What up, Sandy?

Not much guys. Hey, before I jump into it, I want to give you guys a shout out. I downloaded serious, like the week of the Superbowl and i'm an outside sales rep in my car all day and you guys have saved my life so thank you guys are awesome saving lives out here i mean i'm fine i drive through like eight different radio areas a day and get different shit so you guys are awesome but um you guys are absolutely right on the dead spin thing and where they're tanking. And like when I was at Arizona State, there was a few places that were getting big.

It was you guys. It was deadspin. And a few others, I can't remember who they are. And that's their own damn fault. But they were like you guys. They're edgy and different and everything. Where they started tanking was where they started following the trends of everybody else, like the Huffington Post and Washington Post and all that shit, and getting political.

And when you get political, that's when you start getting negative. You start putting everybody down. Did you see there, did any of you guys read the Deadspin article on R.J. Bell and how he's a fraud and all these gamblers and everything? Do you see that? No. No, R.J. Bell's a normal dude, right? You just, I follow him.

He's just throwing his bets out there in Vegas. No harm, no foul with him, right? What do you say about him? Yeah, and some of his picks I follow and they hit and some of them don't. What's he do? They go on about how pathetic all the gamblers are and everything. It would drive you guys in the office nuts for all the gamblers in there. But you guys stuck

to your convictions and that's why you're pulling ahead and that's why they're tanking and everything that comes out of their mouth is fucking negative. That was my two cents. I guess you can call it that, but I don't wake up in the morning being like, I'm going to stick to my convictions on humor. I just don't fucking think about things like that.

I don't think anybody here does. I just wake up and I read an article or I see't think anybody here does. I just wake up, and I read an article, or I see a video, and I react. And I reacted one way in 2009, and I reacted another way in 2019. Sometimes they're the same. Sometimes they're different. Sometimes I will mention politics. Sometimes I won't. Sometimes I'm happy. Sometimes I'm

sad. Sometimes I'm a progressive hero. Sometimes I'm conservative. It's just like, I don't know. I just fucking do this. I just fucking know. Just fucking do this. Just talk. Write. But the mentality is completely different. Barstool will see a story and think, how do I take this and make people laugh? And Deadspin will take this story and be like, how do I save the fucking world?

It's like, guess fucking what? You can't. Nobody can, but certainly not you guys, because you're fucking nobodies. Because rather than build up any sort of fan base where you actually could maybe influence or impact, you spend all your time huffing your own farts, as Keith would say,

and complaining about minor issues that really aren't consequential to the world. Self-awareness is zero. That's what it goes back to. They have no idea who they are or what they're actually trying to do. Let's hit a break. When we come back,

we're going to ruin some more shit. Let's ruin this radio show. BRE, baby. We'll be back. I wish that I could be like the cool kids. Like the cool kids. One of the most important things we do for our health every day is brushing our teeth, yet most of us don't do it properly.

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quip.com slash Clancy right now, you get your first refill pack for free with a Clip electronic toothbrush. That's your first refill pack for free. G-E-T-Q-U-I-P.com slash Clancy. All right, we're back here on CCK. It is a Monday. It's me and it's Jared. Jared's back from his vacation. Vacation? Fantasy world.

Watch your fucking mouth, Casey. I was grinding my dick off out there I know you were but it was it was a fantasy world we've talked about this you guys did a lot of really cool stuff a lot of great it was the Spikes Up Tour

so you can still go get all of that on BarstoolSports.com more coming a lot more content coming we've got Marty Mush the most recent star of this program here and Marty while during the break

because you weren't on Friday, were you? The whole... Friday got weird around here because the Robert Kraft news hit. Jared, what were your thoughts on that first and foremost before we even get to the situation? If you're living under a rock and you don't know, Robert Kraft got popped

for getting a happy ending in Florida. Yeah, there's no way that he was aware of the sex trafficking part of it. I agree. It was just a regular guy going to get a handjob at a massage parlor, which is about as American as apple pie.

So I don't see why. I mean, it's as simple as everyone's out to get the Patriots. There's a chink in the armor and everyone blows it out of proportion. That's just what happens as it pertains to the Patriots. Wrong team to be an owner of to get busted in a fucking massage parlor sting. It's just that's the bottom line is that everyone getting all

pissed off about it. They wouldn't care if Robert Kraft was the owner of the Jaguars. They just wouldn't give a fuck. It would be funny, which is kind of what it is. Obviously not the sex trafficking part of it, but you have to know that he was completely unaware of that. There's no way he's going like, oh, a guy that's a billionaire can get a handjob anywhere in the world. You think he's specifically choosing sex traffic slaves as his source of handjobs? Of course not. He's just in Florida. Yeah, there's a massage parlor. Sure, I want a hand job. Here's a $100 bill, honey.

Thanks for the H-Day. What a speech. All right. You're right, though. I mean, yeah. And we said this at the beginning of the show. Chap said it perfectly. If you can't separate the billionaire rub and tug from the fact that there could be sex trafficking, then you just don't get it.

Because obviously the joke's flying out of here on Friday. We're coming from that so albert breer of sports illustrated tweeted out about 18 minutes ago that the document that's coming out of of jupiter places craft at the parlor the morning of the afc title game so it was january the 20th and it says that he went in at 1059 in the morning and that he left at 1113. Oh no. Oh wow. So he went in like just for a handjob. That's so,

should I just read the document? Wait, you said you went in at 1059 and left at 1113. I'm just going to read you guys the document. I'm going to read you something. Just got a handjob. All right. Okay.

This is, this is what it says. It says on Sunday, January 20th, video surveillance was conducted at the Target business. At approximately 10.59, Kraft entered the business through the front door where he paid cash at the front desk

to an Asian female previously identified. And then, of course, they blocked out the names. And it was captured on camera. She escorted him to a room. And the two hugged each other as Kraft took off all of his clothing, laid face up on the massage table, and then she hugged him again.

At approximately 11.02, she began manipulating Kraft's penis and testicles and then put her head down by his penis. This went on for several minutes. After a few minutes, oh, I'm like uncomfortable reading this because it's Robert Kraft. Like basically she like wiped him up

and like with a white towel, helped him get dressed and hugged him again. He gave her a $100 bill. Hell yeah, I predicted that. I knew it. At least one. Hold on. Hold on.

I was fucking in a hundo. It's fine. It says Kraft gave her a $100 bill plus at least one other unidentifiable bill, so something else. She got another tip. Oh, hell yeah. And then it said he left the room at approximately 11.13. I don't know what the hugging's all about.

Three hugs? The hugs is a little odd. Oh, thanks. Yeah. It's a hug when you leave, maybe. I don't know what the hugging's all about. Three hugs? The hugs is a little odd. Oh, thanks. Yeah, it's a... A hug when you leave, maybe. I don't... It's like hug to say hi, hug to say bye. And in the middle.

The middle ones. The middle one's a little weird, but whatever. You know, like you get caught up in the moment. But wait, was there any mention of fellatio in this? No, it just says put her head down by his penis. Oh, I mean, what are you doing down there? If not to commit the act of fellatio. It doesn't say says put her head down by his penis oh i mean what are you doing down there but you just not to commit the act of fellatio i don't it doesn't say on it it says buy it again what do you what's your head i don't i i'm just reading you what this police document says which by the way like that's a very graphic document to just be floating around social media

i mean i i did not when i was reading that i did not expect to see those details 14 minutes though is tough i mean a fourth think about like how long does it take if you watch a porn you go home after work you fire up fucking uh porn hub you and you're not lasting 14 minutes no but that's the thing that with a massage like that you usually it's a half hour you're getting like at least rubbed down yeah that's what i'm saying like he went in there specifically for a hand job which i kind of respect just said fuck just give me the don't even give him massages yeah my shoulders are fine just jerk my dick he also gave them a massachusetts like he gave them their actual driver's license like if you're a billionaire

don't give them your actual driver's license i mean all you have to do is look at the camera know who it is i think it'd be even i think. I think he would be worse off if he gave them a fake ID. Yeah, I guess. That's all he wanted. He's putting it out there. That's all he wanted. I mean, he woke up in the morning. He was like, fuck, I can't wait for this game.

I'm a little horny. Let me get this lady and jerk me off. Yeah. I mean, it's not like he, again, he didn't know the sex trafficking thing, obviously. He just, what a nice jerk. Let's let him go. There's nothing wrong with that. Free my man ain't do shit and you've never gotten one i've never gone to a massage parlor to get a hand job before no first time i went i had no idea i went with i was going to get a massage yeah me and my pal yeah it was a little it was a little odd at first when you walked up there because you need to like

it was like a doorbell you had to do. Yeah. Doorbell. They looked through like little peephole. Fine. I was like, all right, something's up here. Yeah. And then I was laying down on the table with my jimmies on and I had.

Your jimmies? My underwear. Okay. What, you never call it your jimmies? No, those are sprinkles. I've heard it called that. Those are sprinkles on an ice cream. What? What? those are sprinkles. I've heard it called that. Those are sprinkles on an ice cream. What?

What? Yeah, in Boston. Oh, I thought you meant you called your underwear sprinkles, and that really just upset me. In Boston, they call sprinkles jimmies. Yes, I thought you said you called your underwear sprinkles, and it was just a holy revelation that I was very upset about. Sprinkles and jimmies.

Well, I'll forget that. That's in my mind. I don't like that. We'll move on. Anyway, so I'm sitting there, and all of a sudden, I heard splashing of water next to me. I was like, I don't know what's going on here. And I'm talking to her.

She's like, oh, you like? You like? I was like, that's a good massage. Thank you. And then she started whispering shit in my ear. I swear to God, she's like, at one point, she's like, you have uneven nipples. Like, crazy shit. I do have uneven nipples so i was like oh facts like big facts but then she's saying crazy shit and then i like the door was open i swear to god i saw like she started like

getting weird and i was like i might have to get out of here yeah i kind of like was getting out of there and all of a sudden i see my friend the water was my friend was getting like showered by some chinese lady with like yellow boots and like she had saggy titties to her knees and stuff but it was what literally i swear to god she was getting like she was just showering him in the shower and it's like a table shower before you get jerked, supposedly. And he just credit card in his ass and shit. It was weird stuff.

Wait, what? Where was this? New York? It was in Jersey. The first time ever, I was telling you, it was a wild... So did you get the handjob or not?

Well, yeah. Once I was like, so I saw that. I was like, well, fuck it. We're going to get jerked off now. My guy's just getting his ass cracked fucking credit card. We're going to get jerked off now. My guy's just getting his ass cracked.

Fucking credit card. It's got to go now. So what? What was like, what was the verbal, what was the verbal transaction to where she knew that it was a go and you knew that it was happening? It was literally just flip over at that point. Like at that point, just flip over.

And then she did like the jerk off like sign. She's just like, and then she did like the jerk off like sign she's just like and i was like thumbs up and then you walk out of like the shame on yourself and you just put your head down never talk about it again it's a good time so out of curiosity marty you you said last segment that strip clubs weird you out but you you have a good time at rubbing tugs. Well, yeah. $60 is a hell of a deal. That's a hell of a deal.

So it's the price. It's the price at strip clubs you don't like. Yeah, it's the price. Okay. I've paid for 90-minute massages that were like $180. Yeah, I'm getting $60 and it's $20 and $10. Yeah. That's why at a strip club I've gotten 60 bucks. Yeah. 20 and 10. Yeah. I mean like,

that's why I like a strip club. I've gotten like a legit massage from like a Russian stripper and it's like you pay them the rate of the song. Yeah. So I can get like a nice massage for like 30 bucks. Yeah. And it's like a good massage too. That's the part. Like sometimes my,

my back, I got scoliosis. It fucking hurts. It fucking hurts. Imagine me in the back brace. That'd brace that would be something I should probably do that you could join the back boys or whatever they call themselves yeah

like they there was a college football trip that we went on and they were both on the plane and they had to switch like taking what word am I looking for right now turns fuck that was hard Marty you're like you're rubbing off on me switch to like taking chair. What word am I looking for right now? Turns. Fuck. That was hard.

Marty, you're like, you're, you're rubbing off on me. You're rubbing off on me. They were like taking turns laying in the middle of the plane because their backs aren't so bad, but it was like a cool kids club.

It was like, if your back is normal, like you're a loser. Yeah. But if they were getting massages, they wouldn't be doing that. So if they were going to wherever Robert Kraft was going to be okay. Yeah.

The table shower. I don't get the table shower. That doesn't make any sense to me. No. It's strange. That was odd. So this document, like, does it change your mind on anything? No, I don't think so, right? No. I think people are probably gonna

give him shit for taking 13 minutes, but like everyone that says that, dude, you definitely take longer. Was it 15 minutes? 14. All right. But he walked in at 10.59 and left at 11.13. So it took less than that.

Whatever. I mean, if you're jerking off by yourself, you're not taking more than 10 minutes. 10 minutes is a long time to watch a point. If you're one of those dudes that takes longer than that, you're not taking more than 10 minutes. 10 minutes is a long time to watch a porn. If you're one of those dudes that takes longer than that, you're a fucking creep. It's not about length when you're jerking off.

I'm here to get this nut and get back to my life. That's what you're there for. That's true. He's paying for the hand job, so he's not like, oh yeah like I need to give her this great sexual experience. So he's

just there to get a nut as fast as he can. That's what he's there for. Just for him. I mean, yeah, just let the guy live. A big game. Big fucking game too. So like he needed to need stress. Yeah. Yeah. And then now the New York Post has the headline out Robert Kraft hugs it out with Tom Brady

after prostitution bust. They've got all these pictures of them on a runway, hugging each other. And of course, somehow Tom Brady is going to get pulled into this. You know. Not the actual act, but somehow they're going to start slandering Tom Brady. I don't care. If Tom Brady comes out and says

free Bob Kraft, he ain't do shit, then I stand by that as well. Love him even more. Robert Kraft was at Oscars parties last night. Did you guys see that? Just, like, out and about in L.A., didn't give a fuck. Who cares? That's the best part about it, though.

Like, most people would hide or, like, put out a statement, like, sorry, like, no, I'm going to go party and still probably get jerked off someone here. Someone didn't jerk me off now. I mean. Even though those. This could be great for his brand. Like, maybe now he doesn't have to pay for it anymore well Erica was like yelling in her office on Friday she's like I'll go do it right now for free

and we were like yeah I think most people probably would the problem is our barstool bubble we're going to make jokes about the smallest part of it it's not good for his brand you know that it doesn't matter though what did he have before that he's not going to have now because of this well they're talking about like maybe trying to take the team

away from him that's never going to happen but you can't yeah i know but i'm saying that they're well you can't force him to sell because of this how old is he 77 like he doesn't right fuck yeah why would you? I mean, I'm with you, but there are a lot of people out there that disagree with us. There's probably more people that disagree with us than agree with us. Well, because does that have to do with the actual like severity or lack thereof of the situation or do they just hate the Patriots? I think it's probably a mixture of both because I have seen a lot of people on social media that don't give a fuck about football.

It's all about the sex trafficking. But you cannot prove that he was aware of the sex trafficking aspect of it. So anyone that's all up in arms about that, it's like, get a life, dude. Yes, sex trafficking is horrible. Horrible, horrible thing that's going on in a lot of different places.

But to then make it seem like he was aware of it and went to that specific parlor because he knew, like he wanted to somehow support sex trafficking. You think that like Robert Kraft was doing that? No. He's donated millions and millions and millions of dollars to charity.

Like he's a great guy. It's just, you want a little hand job and you know, he's fucking 70 something years old. Maybe doesn't have a pretty little girlfriend to do it for him. So he's going to compensate somebody for it.

I don't see any fucking bad thing. You are right, though. You can't get caught for that, like prove anything. You would have to have text messages and be like, hey, this is the sex trafficking parlor. You want to head down there? Yeah, yeah, let's go get those sex trafficked girls. There are cops out there that literally go into massage parlors

that they think are doing it. They say, hey, hey can i get this can i get a handjob for 30 dollars that's how they get arrested yeah like it's not you unless there's no chance you can get proved that he actually was like yeah give me a handjob so i don't know why anyone's talking about it let the guy come and that's it that's all you want and now now that the the report is out people are not happy about it. But, you know, whatever. Fights put a great point out there. When he shows up in August, assuming he's not suspended from any games, which I don't think that he will be,

he's going to get a standing ovation in Foxborough. They're going to go win their seventh ring and everything's going to be fine. You know what's going to be great is, like, I hope that someone has a sign that's just, a big, like, jerk off, like, sign. Did you see Dave's shirt on Friday? Coming for seven? Yeah. That's probably going to be more about it.

So we'll see what happens with Robert Kraft. Again, like now that this report is out there, people are making a big deal about it again. Whatever. Mush, you watched the Academy Awards last night. Oh, yeah. Are you an Academy Awards guy? Why were you here last night? Just out of curiosity.

Just they wanted me to gamble on it. So I said, all right, I'll gamble on it. I've seen one and a half movies that was like even on there. What was the half? Black Panther. You only saw half of it? Yeah, I had to do something. And I was watching it yesterday.

Yeah, yesterday or Sunday. I was watching it Sunday morning. I had to go do something. So you just watched half of it. Yeah, it was a good film for half. What was the other one that you saw? A Star is Born. Okay.

I've seen that like three times. All right. So before we get to what everybody's talking about with the Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper stuff, because I assume your weird brain is going to have a take. How much did you lose on the Academy Awards? So I actually was doing pretty good. I had one supporting actress that did well.

That was a good win. But then did you see a whole conspiracy theory thing about that fucking director yeah what happened with i mean i saw it was like penn state there was like a student but like what was the impact of it some schmohawk was schmohawk some schmohawk was had like a tech a group text saying like hey like hammer your ghosts i forget his fucking last name your ghost something it was plus500, and it was spinning out like wildfire. It went down to plus $300 by the time. And like FanDuel took it off their book. Like people were taking it off because it was too easy.

So I called literally, I called about six or seven friends at Gamble to find it. I found it. I doubled down all the money I was already up, and then he lost. He didn't even fucking come close. So how did that happen? Now I'm so intrigued of like, that kid's

got to feel so cool. He just brought down so many people. He should feel like an asshole. You know what? Good for him. He got everybody. He got the whole world talking about his fucking aunt in the academy that was making these bets. And Yorgos, what a piece of shit Yorgos is. You know, I just tried to buy a gyro for Yorgos out there.

$21. Really? The side of the street. This bastard asked for $21 for lamb. I went lamb. You ever see that movie, Lamb and Tuna Fish? But anyway, a lamb gyro, $21 of a lamb I went you ever see that movie Lamb and Tuna Fish but anyway lamb

a lamb gyro $21 yeah and then I pull out my wallet it was just all singles on Saturday that you stole

from the stripper yeah by the way so the stripper worked really hard for this didn't steal my money

anyway plus a couple other monies in addition to but yeah $21 I was like what the fuck

is that for and he's like wait how much do you have I yeah, $21. I was like, what the fuck is that for? And he's like, wait, how much do you have? I said, not 21. And then I yelled at him and I left. Did you negotiate at all? I could have, but then I was so distraught over it. And I really didn't want to lamb Jairo. I was just doing it for him.

And you also don't really want to yell and try to get free food from a guy on the side of the road. Because who knows what he's going to do to your food. Well, it wasn't free. I was just like, yeah, true. But you know what I mean? You're not going to try to negotiate down a sandwich in New York City on the side of the road because you don't know what they're going to do to it. True, if he had a set price.

I could only imagine what he was going to do if I said like $17 or like $15. I'm a big street meat guy. I don't mind it. I'll get something on the way to work here. Yeah, I used to do that all the time in the beginning, but a little less now. I feel like, Casey, you're above that. I just don't usually get it.

You're above that. I thought I'm above it. You're above that. Like some pulled pork. Really? Oh, yeah. Pulled pork? Yeah, pulled pork.

I love pulled pork. What about that halal white sauce thing? What the fuck is that? I don't know. Everyone talks about it. It's. What about that halal white sauce thing? What the fuck is that? I don't know. Everyone talks about it. It's this white sauce and halal. No idea. You don't hear about these things?

No, I don't. Jared doesn't hear about anything. I don't have my ear to the street here. I was going to say, I'm a street rat. Okay. Love the streets. So you should be my ear to the street in New York. Yeah, we could work on that.

Okay. Yeah, that's what Team Rocket's for. That's right. We're a family here. So you guys got to go get the white sauce. Yeah. I'd love to. That's actually Glennie.

Glennie, when he got his handjob from his rub and tug, he left a bag of white sauce in there. He's very upset about it. Did he say that he goes to these regularly? He says he doesn't do them in New York. He does it in Jersey. In like other places in New York or something. Yeah, I don't know.

Montreal, he said. Montreal. I mean, that's a different story. Yeah. He also took a ricochet shot. The reason we're talking about it again is because in Dave's press conference, he was like, Glennie went 10 times this week. He was in his line of sight though too and it just was funny.

And it's Glennie, yeah. But Glennie, yeah, he's told the story on this show about the leaving the white sauce there yeah so i mean if he went almost went back to get his white sauce at the jerk place it's gotta be good yeah you guys gotta go find that i kind of now now i kind of just want to have like a rub and tug story almost yeah i feel like i don't feel part of the team unless I have one. Yeah, mine was a little wild. Only one was wild as mine. I feel like it's not really that uncommon. Like, did you say everyone has like a rub and tug story in the office? I mean, when Dave said raise your hand if you've ever been to an Asian massage parlor and got your dick rubbed, every guy in this office raised their hand.

There's supposedly like one over here that's like an institution. Like, no one say everyone just goes to it. How do they get away with it though? Like if you're I feel like as cops in New York just have bigger problems. Yeah that's what I think. I don't think they really care unless it's like really crazy shit

going on. Unless there's probably girls there working against their will like there was in Florida. Yeah exactly. That's what I think it is. I don't think it's different. Yeah. I mean you gotta go on rub maps. exactly. That's what I think it is. I don't think it's different. I mean, you gotta go on Rub Maps. That's a website? It used to be Backpage. Got seized by the government. And then now it's Rub Maps.

Rub Maps is okay. Learned all about that on Friday. I'm telling you, Friday was a weird day around here. Yeah, it was very odd. Maybe I'll start a new video series where I do Rub and Tug reviews. I think that's soliciting prostitution. Yeah, you probably shouldn't do that. But what if I talk to the women beforehand?

I'm like, hey, I can't pay you because it's prostitution, so you have to do it for free. No, you know what you do? You tell them that you are going to film it, but you won't release it anywhere, and then technically it's just porn. Oh, there's a porn thing that does that.

You know what I'm saying? Because it's like, think about it. If you paid me, not me, I don't like that example. If you paid a girl down the street and was like, okay, I will give you this money if you will give me a hand job, that's technically prostitution. If you paid the same down the street and was like, okay, I will give you this money if you will give me a handjob. That's technically prostitution. If you paid the same girl the money and said, you can give me a handjob, but we're going to film it and make it an amateur porn, no problem. Fair game.

So all you need is a camera. Technically. And she has to be consented to it. Do you think Dave would be cool with me getting jerked off on camera like once a week? I mean, if you blur it out, I think you're good. I don't know that answer. I really, and I'm glad that I don't know

that answer. I'll talk to him after the show. I mean, that would be a hell of a series. You'd be tired, though. I'd be exhausted. Maybe I would film them on Fridays to put out on Mondays. You literally would be drained. Marty, we have 30 seconds. Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper, have they fucked each other?

100%. You don't sing like that. Gaze Eye. She didn't blink for literally 20 seconds. I was counting. She looked great. He looks great. He could sing.

She could sing. It just makes sense. Makes sense to me, too. They have to be swingers. Maybe it's all fuck. Yeah. It's Hollywood. That's what everybody does. All right. We'll be back tomorrow. Kevin will be back. Marty Mush have to be swingers. I mean, it's all fucked. Yeah, it's Hollywood. That's what everybody does.

All right, we'll be back tomorrow. Kevin will be back. Marty Mush, thank you so much. We'll see you guys tomorrow. Stay hot. I have no problem repping the Kowloon, but I feel like I can't wear the gear until I've been there. You've got to be a made man. Yeah, and I have no doubt I'm going to sit down and like it. It's not like I have to see whether I'm worthy. Kevin.

It's worthy of me, but I can't. It's like I'm not on that level yet. No, we'll get you there. I'll give you a level yet. We'll get you there. I'll give you a whole tour. We'll take you around. The pictures are on the wall. All the famous people that have been there. I don't know. Maybe one day. Are you on the wall?

I might be on the wall. What's up, Gazzo? What's going on? She likes to sewer me when I don't have a way to talk, so I figured I'd come in and sit down for a minute. Breaking news about her topic, that she walked off the radio. I mean, I know she's got to get a blog up, but also maybe we could...

Shout out Ian Rappaport for breaking that news. Maybe we could talk about it. That is kind of crazy, right? Imagine if we had an in. Yeah. Well, last time when Schefter beat us on, was it Kyler Murray, I guess it was, whatever it was? Yeah.

But this one is more the team making the decision. She might not have the internet now. I don't know. The internet might have found out before. I think she's moved on to Kyla Murray. I asked her if she's ever said a bad word about him. She had to think for about 45 minutes on that one.

Kyla Murray? She's carrying the water for the Burkhart organization. Kyla Murray's probably going to be in podcasting within the next three years anyway. Gaz is trying to sewer you. What do you got on your boy? What's the word out of the comeback season camp? I have not heard from either one of them.

Sons of bitches. Since when? When was the last time communication had been made? Since the last time we recorded the podcast. Which was when? I don't know when that is. A couple weeks ago. What do you think the move is?

Do you think he goes to the AAF? Or do you think he's done with football? Do you think he does, like, some media shit? I mean, yeah, the AAF would make sense. Right? I wonder what... I wonder... Football, to me, is just such a crazy sport.

I didn't find out about Johnny from a collar. This asshole was like, how did you find out from a collar? Like, no. No. It's not happening. Like, read a book. The, uh... Like, football. No. Just not happen. Like, read a book. Like, football to me is

not worth, like, it's fucking painful and dangerous and like, you know, you want to chase your, I think it's crazy to be like a minor league baseball player for life too. It's like, go get a real job, make real money and don't like live on buses and eat peanut butter sandwiches. You're only making like 200 bucks a week. But you're also like,

you know, you're on the baseball dugout your whole life like cracking jokes and playing ball. It's kind of fun. Football, quarterback, you get your fucking face smashed in. You're risking your brains and your limbs for what? How much money does the CFL pay? Not a lot.

Is he making like... It's six figures. So you can live like a minor league baseball player literally is like poverty type shit. You have a living, but you're not obviously a millionaire, but you make a living. I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now. What was his signing bonus? Did you put up a blog?

Put up a blog. But what do I put in the blog? Like my co-host didn't let me know this was happening and now I can't get a hold of him? But like... Granted, this podcast is over for the season because it'll start again but it's like what am i supposed to do like i'm at like gas like gas is trying to sewer me it's like what am i supposed to do like stalk their entire lives you can't make somebody give you a heads up on something it's like no this is like what am i don't understand what i'm supposed to do if you're

not gonna like put i have no idea what i'm supposed to do well that's the problem is that you know they are uh they're they're focused on their shit and i'm sure whereas the podcast is your priority i'm sure it's not their priority so they don't feel that no that's fine yeah but it's like well like what did gas say when i was when i was gone he was just like only if we only had an in on on these guys. But I also said, it's the team's decision here. It's one thing if it was like

Johnny was making a choice and you didn't know. It's like, if the team just came down. I probably wouldn't know if he was making a choice at this point. I wouldn't, I mean, whatever. I mean, there's nothing you can do about it. What does this mean for the Johnny Manziel legacy?

I assume that it would be looking at the AAF, is my assumption. Is that the last stop? I feel like they are connected almost. I wonder if it was maybe like a mutual parting of ways where it was like the CFL is the CFL. Nobody's really paying attention to it the way even the AAF. I'm super skeptical on all these fake leagues, but at least there's a little bit of buzz around it right now.

But that is the last stop, right? If he doesn't stick here, where is he going to stick? I don't think anywhere. There's nowhere else to go. I wonder if Dave is still sticking by his Johnny Manziel is going to be a Pro Bowl quarterback take. I'm going to guess no. I'm going to guess yes. You think so? I think Dave is going to stick

by his take. Yes. Why? Because he's fucking Dave. But I feel like Dave will back his guys, but it's like, at what but i feel like stubborn asshole dave will back his guys but it's like at what point is he like well you didn't even give us the news about this yeah i just i just feel like he's gonna say until like he's dead i remember i remember being like all right we'll have to wait for johnny's funeral like hopefully it's many many years in the future because only then will dave say well i guess he can't be a pro bowl quarterback until then the doors wide what year did he have that take? It was his draft year.

Right? That was probably when he first started talking. It was 2014, so we're now five years in. Did he get enough from a signing bonus to where he can sort of... Well, it's also about how much of it did you spend. He also got

money from Nike, got money from Snickers, he got money from a lot of endorsements. Did Nike drop him? Four-year deal was $8.2 million, $6.7 guaranteed, signing bonus of $4.3. So all in, he made $10 million. Four and a half up front.

That should be enough to... He also comes from ridiculous money. Like, not just like, oh, kind of wealthy. Are we talking oil rigs? Texas oil rigs? Tyler, Texas, baby. Oh, damn.

I know that like when we're talking about the grand scheme of things of professional athletes like Nolan Arnauto making $260 million yesterday, but $10 million compared to that

doesn't seem like a lot. You can live off $10 million. I mean, that's roughly... If you're smart about it, which obviously I don't expect to. Well, not even though. i mean i i don't know dave's finances but i feel like that's where he landed after everything and i mean he gambles and travels and buys expensive shit granted when you don't have kids it's like yeah you could you could have a normal fucking salary and if you don't have kids you can just start amassing money because it's just all yours

right and unless you're truly exorbitantly wasteful, you're going to be okay. But it seems like Dave is, and he seems to just be making more money. Yeah. So I don't know. I don't know how many. I used to know. I used to feel like I had a grasp on money and what rich meant and how much money you needed.

And now it's all thrown out the window because dave although he said he's finally out of moves on his gambling yeah dave's always had a move he's so deep in the hole and there's no move to make because he can't throw a watch party and take the money you can't put a t-shirt on sale and take the money now it all goes to churning right uh he needs that bookie to kick the bucket again so that is one of the wildest barstool stories of all time it's the most underrated yeah it's like guys you don't understand he was down like heavy six figures yeah and the guy he owed it to may he rest in peace just died yeah and nobody came looking nobody said like hey you owe me now it was just clean slate and that is why dave portnoy walks around like he can fucking do whatever he wants

because he literally can yeah because he can make bad decisions and be down big money to like probably bad people yeah and then just works out for done he is jesse pinkman i honestly i honestly think that you know uh the bruce willis samuel jackson m night Shyamalan movie so they're like opposites of each other. He's unbreakable. The other guy's Mr. Glass. Yep. I think Dave's like Bruce Willis, and I'm like Samuel L. Jackson. Like nothing goes smooth for me. Why are we getting a weird face from Ellie right now?

What? What? Come on. The elephants is ridiculous. Listen, Kevin, no. You did a disservice to girls everywhere by saying that 15 chickens can kill you. Can you listen to me talk for a second? You cannot say that because I

have a ridiculous take on a hypothetical that I made up that now girls are not allowed to answer hypotheticals. You make a stupid take every Tuesday and Thursday on KFC Radio and yet you every week continue to answer them. Don't sewer women for making bad takes. What is that? You are a long list of bad hypothetical takes from girls on the show.

Yeah, but like this is not a bad take because it's my – It's the worst take. It's not because – 15 chickens. 15. You're missing the word. Dedicated. She always throws out the dedicated.

She's like, no, no, no. These chickens are really dedicated to killing the fucking – I think that because it's my hypothetical that i created and i came up with you could get 15 chickens strap knives to their wings and get them like also by the way we just threw in the fucking knives i don't think it matters i still don't think it matters but uh but you can't just change the game i also think they they get the eyes they get the trunk. It's done. The elephant's done. The answer we gave on KFC Radio Classic, Dan jumped back in. He got back into the hypothetical game.

I asked him. We had the same take. The correct answer is infinite chickens. Infinity chickens. And even then, it would just be a draw. How much do you know about chickens? I feel like you don't know a lot about chickens. How much do you know about chickens or elephants?

Okay, I'm from the farmland of America. Have you seen a chicken? You don't know a fucking thing about chickens. I know a lot about chickens. And you certainly don't know a fucking thing about elephants. Okay, maybe I don't, but I know that dedicated chickens could do it. And 15 dedicated anything could bring down an elephant. I don't think

that they could. Okay, maybe not like anything. Not like a snail. Could 15 ellies take down an elephant? Dedicated't think that they could. Maybe not like anything. Not like a snail. Could 15 Ellies take down an elephant? Dedicated. If I was really dedicated to it, I could do it. Dedicated word. That's the difference. It's not like passive chickens were like, where's like chicken food, you know? It's like, I want to kill this elephant

so they're going to get it done. Passive chickens. I mean, like, what would the chickens, best course of action? Yeah, I mean... Dan was like, I think Fight said, you'll have to have one fly down the elephant's throat and choke him to death. That's a good take. That's a bad take.

This is a hypothetical question. It's obviously not real. See, I take my hypotheticals very seriously. Apparently you do. You're wrong on this one that would be the only way to do it

but I don't even know if one chicken would be enough to clog his throat you would need infinite chickens you have to get the chickens to get the eyes

like the basilisk in Harry Potter and then it's down a sense can't see you know and uh down a sense you know it's

it's very important you know what a fucking elf would do can't see where they all are clap with it's fucking trunk clap that's why you get the trunk. You go eyes and then you get the trunk.

You're talking about like severing the trunk off its face? I dedicate to chickens. How is the chicken going to accomplish this? They have really sharp beaks, you know? They leave scars on people when they peck each other. They eat like fucking corn. Yeah. I just feel like you're slandering chickens here.

I don't think you realize how tough they can be. I thought you were mad because I was slandering women. Now we're on to the chickens. Look, I just don't appreciate you sewering my hypothetical and my take on my hypothetical. Well, have more correct hypothetical answers. Oh, sorry. And I won't sewer. Sorry.

I think that's really the only way that a chicken or chickens could take out an elephant is if they go for the esophagus. I don't know if 15 chickens could kill elephants. I think 15 chickens could kill me. Just to present facts, not to take anyone's side, for the record, elephants' eyesight is poor anyway. So taking out their eyes wouldn't even matter. Zach, can't you like...

What the fuck? I thought you were on my side here. Don't like bullets not even penetrate the skin of a fucking elephant? You have to have a very, very accurate shot. You have to hit the heart. That's why I'm saying dedicate it. And don't they have elephant guns that are like, wow, they're like fucking cannonballs. Big ass rifles.

I should see one of the bullets. One of the bullets is almost the size of me. That's the only way you're getting through that. You're basically shooting giant Zod bullets into an elephant and it's like, maybe it'll phase him. Yeah, like, if you put a human brain, if you put a human brain in a chicken, they could do it, because I think that they could poison the elephant. That's what I mean.

Poison. Well, what, now they have, like, cyanide with them? You never know. Ricin. Okay. Okay, or... 50 chickens with a ricin pill. How about one chicken that, like, has salmonella?

Like, a chicken breast. And get the elephant to eat it. You want a Trojan horse, this elephant, with a salmonella. I don't think that... It would just probably shit a lot. Yeah, I don't think it would die. But if it's dehydrated, and then it dies of natural causes. I don't know if that happens.

This is always Yelly with the hands on the hips. Yeah. If single chickens could kill an elephant, are you scared of like one chicken? Yes, extremely. A single chicken could just destroy you. Chickens, they're very aggressive. I will agree with you on this. I'm afraid of chickens. If a chicken was in this room right now, I'd be like,

get the fuck away from me, chicken. But I also don't think that I'm as tough as an elephant. Well, you're not. But like, I'm afraid of chickens, and I think everyone should be, so I think the elephant would have something to worry about, at least.

I think the elephant would be best. I will walk back my take and say maybe they couldn't necessarily kill it, but it should be concerned. That elephant would be disgruntled at the worst.

That elephant would be like, this is annoying. This day is ruined by these dedicated chickens. Dedicated chickens. Give me a fucking break. All right. I'm feeling like I defended myself well enough.

Good job, Elle. All right, guys. Wait, wait, hang on. Eric from Texas has something about your take. What's up, Eric? Hey, what's up, Kirstie? Hey, I got a take on the elephant thing and how ridiculous the thought of 15 dedicated chickens taking out an elephant is.

And I don't want to hear this. I live in Texas. Obviously, we wear cowboy boots down here. I have a pair of cowboy boots made from elephant skin, and I can literally take my sharp six-inch bug knife and scrape it on those boots, and it doesn't scuff it at all. There's no way. You can't even stab an elephant with a knife.

So even if you gave those chickens knives, Ellie, nothing's happening. Casey, I seem to have underestimated the power of an elephant. Apparently. And overestimated

the power of the chickens. So you are just completely walking back your take. But I'm not wrong, though. I still think that they could do it. Because this is my take

and my hypothetical. And in my hypothetical, the elephant might be weaker. This is why girls can't do the hypotheticals. Because they'll eventually just say, I know that I'm wrong, but I'm not. Yeah, I can make up my rules because it's my hypothetical.

You guys make up shit all the time. This mom fucking your mom or your girlfriend or whatever. We play by the rules. You can't just bend the rules. But you make up different rules. You have to apply sound logic. Why don't we change this? To which we have not heard any from your case here today.

I gave you the logic of the dedication, the eyes. Can you please... I mean, you're just going to make him go blind. You're not going to kill him. Go do a little elephant research for me. Just pull up Wikipedia and write in elephant skin and just talk. All right. When I get back from therapy, that is what I will do.

Have a good cry. Thank you. Enjoy your cry, Ellie. Have a good cry. And continue to thrive. I will. Have a great day, guys. Let's talk to Zach from Texas. What's up, Ellie. Thank you. And continue to thrive. I will. Have a great day, guys.

Let's talk to Zach from Texas. What's up, man? What's up, guys? So I was listening, and I think that, you know, Johnny to the commanders and saying San Antonio is a no-brainer. But I wanted to give you all a little hint on the Adderall thing. So if you set your alarm for like an hour before you're supposed to get up, and you just put it right beside your bed, and your alarm goes off, you take it,

and then it's like you're up and ready to go for the rest of the day. So I agree with her that that's a good take, but Johnny to the commanders. Johnny to the commanders. Okay, we got to hit a break. I'm going to go do a little Luke Bryan prep because I'm a huge Luke Bryan fan. We got Mush in here. Casey's wrapping up her comeback season stuff, so you get the Rockets plus

Mush taking you into Chicks in the Office today. I'll catch you guys tomorrow. Stay hot. Damn, it feels good to be a gangster. A real gangster type player plays his cards right. A real gangster type player plays his cards right. A real gangster type player never runs his mouth. Because real gangsterized players don't start fights.

And brothers always got a high cap. All right, we're back. And we got healthy pour going on here with the wine. Casey just delivered some wine to Daniela. Actually, Daniela gave me the wine. Oh, so we're delivering back and forth. It's a mutual delivery thing here going on. Postmates will deliver you

wine. They will deliver you food, groceries, anything you need from any of the 25,000 merchants they have available on their network. They'll do it 24-7, 365. Jared, how many hours in a day are there? 24. How many days a week? Seven. How many days a year? 365. So when you do 24- 7, 365, what does

that mean? A lot. All the time. All of the time Postmates will deliver you everything within one hour. How many minutes are in an hour? 60. Took a little too long there, bud. I was voting that I'm a smoke show on the Barstool Radio. You are a smoke. Don't let anybody ever tell you otherwise. I had to get my vote in.

Within 60 minutes you'll have anything delivered to you. It could be sushi. It could be wine. It could be breakfast burritos. It could be Lucky Charms and diapers because that's what your kid needs and likes. Whatever it may be, they will deliver it to you on the spot. And right now, you can get $100 of free delivery when you go download the free Postmates app

and use the promo code KC. Within the next seven days, $100 of free delivery charges. Postmates, promo code KC. Whatever you want, $100 for free. Let's get it. All right, we're back. Hour number two. Jared is voting online that he's a smoke show.

Where can the people find that? Barstool Radio. Barstool Radio. You voted on yourself? You got that. I mean, when you run for president, do you think Donald Trump voted for Hillary? I don't think so.

Can you actually vote for yourself? Yes, you can. Yeah. It's like a big thing on Election Day. Presidents, and they go to like... Every American can cast their vote for yourself? Yes, you can. Yeah. It's like a big thing on Election Day, presidents, and they go to like your local president. Every American can cast their vote for themselves. Jared did his civic duty, and he called himself a smoke show. It's America.

What's the count out right now? I think I'm losing, but it's just haters. Right now, we have, is this your radio debut? I think this might be. Daniela. What's up? Let's go. Daniela's on radio.

I was just walking back from the snack uh snack room and i was like do you want to do radio because she was at the barn last night decked out in her maple leaf skier glg go leaves go yeah didn't go great for you it was it was not a great night for the leaves it was not a great night now your dad's from toronto so you have a reason a fake reason but so so it's actually funny because my dad grew up in Toronto and my mom grew up in Long Island. So growing up, it was always like we were torn between the island. I went to a bunch of games as a little girl in the Coliseum

with an entire side of my mom's family. And obviously the Leafs fans and my dad's side was so much more passionate about it. So it was so much easier to cheer for the Leafs when we were in Toronto. It was fun. It was always like a party to go watch these games and I just naturally became a Leafs fan now like I'm not gonna sit here and say I'm on Frankie Bradley's level of like no no listen nobody is Marino's level but like I enjoy watching the game I probably watch like 70% of

their games like I don't I don't know you're a fan you're a normal fan you're a normal fan you're a normal and when that got and that got to Dave's ears, the next thing I know, I was sitting in between. In between Frankie and Frankie. The father and the son, the Borellis, they were right in between you. Yeah. And you were decked out in your Leafs gear. Yeah.

And it's so funny because I got accused on Twitter of being like, oh, you're faking it, you're ducking. But I wasn't even ducking for embarrassment that the Leafs were getting obliterated. I was ducking because Frankie's dad and Frankie were literally on top of me. Eiffel Towering you. Eiffel Towering me.

It was crazy. When Dave tweeted that, I was like, holy shit. That is a tweet right there. There was a moment. There was a goal that was called off, right? And the celebration that ensued, Frankie stood up and he high-fived his dad with you in the in between and friend dave tweeted like no goal and a daniella eiffel tower for good measure i mean it's like god damn dave i don't even think he realized kind of the whole connotation of that

i think when that in between when that goal was like being reviewed, there was like not one breath in the Coliseum. It was surreal. I'm sure. It was a crazy feeling to be there. I'll give it to them. They showed up last night. They don't show up every night, but they showed up last night.

I'm naturally going to throw in a few shots here. I'm a little heated. I just got into an argument with Fights. I got into an argument with Frankie. I apparently got gassed. Like, it's been a while. You got gassed like it's been all right welcome to getting gas what happened well i went over to gaz's desk to have a simple conversation which i thought was about your first fucking mistake why do people ever talk to dave or gaz and then actually let me this is this is what happened i went over to francis to ask him a question and of course gas sits next to

francis so it just became this whole entire group discussion and then of course, Gaz sits next to Francis, so it just became this whole entire group discussion. And then, of course, Gaz being Gaz had to start. And I was like, okay, hypothetically, would you go to game seven in Toronto, Bruins versus the Leafs? And fights just chimed in. I was like, I'm more scared of Montreal. Like, this is crazy. Like, who do you think you are?

Frankie goes, like, you can't speak in this office today. Like, it's been a mess for me. So hence when you, when Kevin. Three quarters of a pint glass. Kevin passed me a beer glass to pour wine in and I filled it up. Yeah, I will say that's a heavy ass pour girl, but whatever. This is like sneaky, a very big hockey office. Oh yeah.

I don't even know if it's sneaky to be honest. I think it's fucking a hockey office. Yeah. Like, I feel like hockey is, is it our biggest sport? well i i would say that it's like fan passion yeah well that's what i was gonna say is like you have dave with the patriots which is undeniable but it's also a challenge but it's also yeah yeah yeah but even the even the um the pay the patriots with dave has kind of become self-serving because it's part of like he makes money off it and shit like that. The hockey fans here are just pure, true hockey nuts. Like, Marina, she's not on camera. She's not, like, growing, you know, her record.

She's just sitting there doing captions and living and dying with the Bruins. Right. I didn't even know Danielle was a hockey fan until she's decked out in Leafs gear getting Eiffel Towered at the bar. Well, this is the thing. I got accused of a lot of things yesterday and one of them was you're not a true fan

or not a real fan, but I scroll through my Twitter, my Instagram, I got accused of buying my hat like last night or yesterday morning.

I was like, all right, this is... Don't ever listen to that shit. Anybody, hockey fans are the worst with that where it's like, oh yeah, why don't you like this sport

and then you like it? Oh, you're not a real fan. It won't suck my dick, man. Get Eiffel Tower, dude. Kick rocks. Yeah, exactly. Why don't you like they want people to like it? Oh, you're not a real fan. Yeah. Well, suck my dick. Yeah. Get Eiffel Tower, dude. Kick rocks. Yeah, exactly. They can enjoy their one night.

The Maple Leafs do have, I think, one of the best logos and uniforms in all in all sports. Classic. Yeah. It's really fucking dope. Yeah. Although I don't get the Leafs leaves thing. I don't know. I actually.

What's the story there? With what? Leafs. Leafs. Yeah. Yeah. L-E-A-F-S. That's weird. Yeah. I mean, it L-E-A-F-S. That's weird.

I mean, it's just wrong. But it also seems better. If it was the maple leaves, that would be weird. Yeah, that would be weird. Maple leaves. Yeah, I like that. It's a dope logo. Let's just get rid of leaves.

Actually... Yeah, I think it's... Leafs. Yeah, leaves. I don't understand the whole... They should all be like that. Hooves. Forget about hooves.

Yeah. Hooves. No, I'm with you. We'll go cacti. Just keep it simple for everybody. Cacti? I would go... I would keep it simple We'll go cacti. Just keep it simple for everybody. Cacti? I would go, I would keep it simple. I would cactuses.

I would do mooses. I would do fishes. I would do leaves. What was it that Marty thought the other day was a word and Coley had to correct him? Were you there for that? I don't know, but he thought that France was in Italy. Did you hear that? What?

He said that on CCK. He was like, he asked us if you speak French in France. And we're like, what? Yeah, he's like, what do they speak in France? No, he said he can speak French. Oh, yeah. And Jared goes, what are you going to do? Like, go to France?

He was like, yeah, do they speak French there? And we were like, what other language would they speak? He goes, I don't know, Italian? Isn't it in Italy? I was like, you know what? I mean, I love Marty. I love Marty. Marty's the best.

I love Marty. He has a skull that's empty. It's okay, though I mean, I love Marty. I love Marty. Marty's the best. I love Marty. His skull is empty. It's okay, though. He has a bird flying around in his skull. Yeah, which is fine. I mean, it works for him. It does. He's the best.

The best. He got in trouble with firefighters, which is very apropos that they're here today. He put up a picture of our stairwell has a fire hose in it with a wheel that you crank to like put the water out yeah and he's like i walk by this sucker every day and i want to crank the wheel and all these firefighters are like that's not funny that's for emergencies only like suck a dick dude so he came up to the firefighters here and he was like i just want to apologize for this for saying bro they don't care

they do not care they do not care that you put up a picture of a fire hose and said i want to turn the wheel yeah i don't think so um was there uh did you have any sort of reaction when dave dave tweeted that you got an apple towered by frankie and his dad um i luckily you're one of one of the people i think and who can absolutely take that i feel like if he if he did it without the video it would would be like... Weird. What? Right. But because of the video, it showed like, obviously you weren't. But if it was like, Daniela just got Eiffel Towered by Frank and his dad. Well, I think we can safely say, obviously she was not actually Eiffel Towered, no matter

what the circumstances. Well, right. But the video helps, right? The video definitely helped. Give everyone the image that they needed. That was enough, honestly. It was so funny. Did you run out of there?

I did. You scurried away like a little mouse? Iurried away and like the entire section was waving goodbye to me i just couldn't i'll first of all i it is true getting at the coliseum is pretty far like it took me two and a half hours to get there took me yeah what of traffic i should have just taken the train but i listened to frankie and i got stuck in traffic so it's probably part of you can't drive you're an idiot probably part of his plan and then then I left with probably like 10 minutes left in the third period because I was like,

this is nuts. And as I was leaving, they scored the sixth goal. And I was like, I'm done. I got to get out of here. You made the right call. I would have pulled the ripcord on that one.

Yeah, like what am I going to do? I'm humiliating myself by sitting here. Like it was just too much. But the Leafs are back in the Coliseum on April 1st, which is the end of the season, so I don't think it's going to be a very important game for anybody.

But I am thinking about it. Definitely not going with Frankie, but I definitely want to be there. Because I think the Leafs can somewhat redeem themselves if they can win that game. I'll go be your hype man. I would love that. I'll just make videos of you the whole time. Why don't you two sit on either side of Frankie,

and maybe you can Eiffel Tower him. Yeah, let's go. I'm in. Let's do it. I'm in. There it is. Go drink your bucket of wine. Enjoy your birthday party tonight. Thank you so much. Not my birthday party, my friend. Shout out to her. Happy birthday. You didn't tell a story about... Oh, did Jared's story catch on quickly? Yeah, absolutely.

Okay, so last night, obviously I was getting a couple followers on Twitter and I wanted to make sure I had my bases covered because the true reason I use Twitter right now is to keep up with all what's going on followers on Twitter, and I wanted to make sure I had my bases covered because the true reason I use Twitter right now is to keep up with all what's going on at Barstool, and I think it's important for our jobs here. And I was going through. I actually clicked Rhea's profile just to see who she follows to make sure I followed everyone

because I have never even done that. And I was scrolling through, and I noticed Jared follows you, but Danielle, I wasn't following him. So I followed him back last night and I came in this morning and Jared was like, I just want to be very clear. I followed you last night and I didn't mean to do that, but I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to unfollow you right now. And I was like, all right, you do that. This is the least of my problems. It's fair. Yeah.

I just wanted her to know that I didn't follow her on purpose. Did you actually follow her by accident? No. I'm done. I'm good her to know that I didn't follow her on purpose. Did you actually follow her by accident? No. I'm done. I'm good. That's all I needed. Jared also has a thing where he will follow people and he gives them like, I don't know exactly what the time limit is, but I've heard him talking about it, where if they don't follow back,

he unfollows. You got like a week. I feel that. My question was, did you really follow me last night? Because I feel like you've followed me a couple days ago. I followed you last night. I'd like it on record that I've followed me a couple days ago. No, I followed you last night. Oh, okay. I didn't even know.

I'd like it on record that I've been following you for a while. Yeah. I followed you on Instagram a while ago, but on Twitter, I was like, well, I don't really want to hear your thoughts. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's fair. You don't have to hear my thoughts. Yeah.

So I followed you last night, so I was like, oh, here's interesting content for the first time. Okay. Oh, my God. It's horrible. After all she did for us in Atlanta? It's so God. It's horrible. After all she did for us in Atlanta? It's so fucking horrible. Yeah, exactly.

Like, you don't care about my thoughts? Yo, honestly, after everything she did for us. You're stupid. You're a stupid person. Yeah, like, the people that I try

to keep closest are the people like this. Like, she'll make or break your entire trip. Like, you might starve to death on your next fucking, you're going to Florida next?

You might live in a fucking crack house if Daniela doesn't like you. I don't think that you... Maybe not you, just generically, the people that weren't really paying attention. What Daniela and MB and Spider did for us in that house, the way we lived Super Bowl week, I know you were complaining about the way we were living, but

Daniela was cooking us brussel sprouts. Every morning, everything was laid out. They cleaned up every night. Like when we would just abs, like the night everybody got high and all that Chinese food was just everywhere. The next morning you wake up, it's just gone.

It's beautiful. Coffee's made. Breakfast is out because Daniela and being spider killing the game. Honestly, the Brussels sprouts where I genuinely felt bad for the RV people. I was like, they need some vegetables. I need to help them out. It's the least sprouts where I genuinely felt bad for the RV people. I was like, they need some vegetables. I need to help them out. They need some nutrients in their lives.

It's the least I could do, but anyways. Speaking of nutrients, drink the wine. Enjoy that wine, girl. Yeah, thank you. I'm going to bring it back to my desk. You should. It's Friday. Nobody cares. Also, I would just like to make one more thing clear. Sorry. I know I'm I am not the assistant office manager. I don't know how that is.

I have no idea. It's like that's what I'm being called on all the sources. I'm not the assistant office manager. I don't know how that is. Who came up with that? I have no idea. That's what I'm being called on all the sources. I'm not the assistant. All the sources. You're Erica's assistant. Yeah, thank you. The assistant to the CEO. Yeah.

Okay, I just wanted to make that clear. Where is that? We can correct it. I think it's on Reddit. It's everywhere. I know, I know, I know. Probably on the Shade Room, TMZ, all those outlets. I'm pretty big now.

She's right next to where Khloe Kardashian threw shade at Jordan Woods. That's interesting. No comment. Jordan Woods went on Jada Pinkett's show. Did you see what Khloe said today? She said she'd give him a peck. She admitted to a peck, but it's like, come on. Yeah, he pecked with that dick.

And then it got very political, and then it was like, all right, I'm going to shut this off right now. It's just not great. I'm sure you hear plenty about that at 3 o'clock with the chicks in the office. Greg from Ohio has a question for the Rocket. Gregory? Greg? Hello, gentlemen, and Casey.

Greg? First of all, hey, Casey. First of all, shout out to your girl, Louise. She was electric on radio the other day. Oh, I don't know. I think I need a collab. You should need more male attention.

I need a collab of her and Marty Mush just for, like, the shit show that it may be. We can bring Louise a mush hour. Bring her in to New York and, like, have me, Marty, and Lauren. Louise, just, like. Jesus Christ, Casey. Just, like, go at it. I also wanted to give a shout out to KFC.

For all the Twitter trolls that call you, like, a piece of shit and a terrible person because you chew on your wife. They should, like should listen to the first five minutes of the show and see what you did for the firemen. Yeah, I mean, thank you for that, man. That's not why I do it, but it was nice. Yeah, thank you.

You there? You there, brother? I think he hung up. Oh, no, he's there. I hung up on him because I thought he hung up. Okay. Well, um... Oh, no, he's there. No, I hung up on him because I thought he hung up. God damn it. He had a question for Jared. I was probably going to... What was the subject line?

Just said question for Jared. Just said question for Jared. All right, so you asked me a question, Kevin. We'll pretend that's from Greg. Do you think that you will adjust your beard after all this feedback today? No. That's the right answer. Because, like I said,

do what you want, man. Casey is probably the only girl, and my mom, who, my mom just, like, I mean, I literally have... What is Andrea Russett? Oh, God, yeah. I'd shit my fucking asshole for her.

Well, you better. What if she said, like, shave your beard and give yourself, like, wait, wait, wait, wait. You would not even shave your beard for Andrea Russett? No. Well, then there's no reason.

What's the point? I would trim it down, but I wouldn't. I don't get this. I don't get that. Isn't the point of like looking and being attractive for your dream girl? I wouldn't go clean shaven for anybody. No, nobody's telling you to go clean shaven. I know, but he's saying in this hypothetical situation.

Move the mic so I can take a picture really quick. Why? Just take the one from fucking... No, because it's not the straight on. The straight on picture is a problem. I would chop my head off for Christina Shulman. I would chop it off with an axe. I mean, if she was like...

Clip that, Zah, and tweet it at her, please. If Andrea Russett... I mean, it's a triangle. Can I tweet this? I mean, if you were to tweet that, you'd be the third fucking person to tweet a picture of my face today because of my fucking beard and hair combo. With J-Pat, Barstool Radio, Casey...

Just because I try something new, it's fucking front page news? No! Jesus Christ! Wait, yes. You don't know how Barstool works? I mean, it's crazy. You wear a shirt that's slightly different. I've been growing my hair since December.

It's March. Why is it news today? I don't get it. Because finally it's being noticed how long your hair is. Do you know what company you work for? But it's insane. Why today? I've been growing it for months.

Because our CEO walked by you yesterday and said, what the fuck is going on here? And then when she left, everyone was like, that was an overreaction. Your hair looks fine. Nobody said that. Yes, they did. I was sitting right there. Because our CEO walked by you yesterday and said, what the fuck is going on here? And then when she left, everyone was like, that was an overreaction. Your hair looks fine. Nobody said that. Yes, they did. I was sitting right there. Okay, I'll tell you who said it, and then you can confirm that they said it. What you got to do is you got to get her to do it.

If it was like Trent or Rob. Nope. Next thing you need her to do is go. Look at Jared go. It's crazy. Bro, I can't believe you're surprised by this. I'm very surprised. I mean, like, I can get like one or two.

It's like a whole fucking. I mean, I don't know.'re surprised by this. I'm very surprised. I can get one or two. It's like a whole fucking... I don't know. Maybe my career here has been different. Anytime you wear a shirt, that's wrong. Change your hair. Change your beard. Change your skin. I don't think I changed anything.

You get a sunburn. You get a suntan. You look pale. What did I change? My hair is... I didn't cut it. I just trimmed the sides. I've been doing that every two weeks for months. Yeah, but Jared, you've been coming in here looking like you're wearing that LA gel from 1998 until today.

It's fiber. Today it doesn't look like gel. Because I blew dry. Right, so why, everyone's talking about it because it looks different. I mean, the fact that I use a fucking blow dryer is front page news on a goddamn Friday. Do you know who you are? I'm just a boy from Saugus. Right, and you're using a blow dryer is front page news on a goddamn Friday. Do you know who you are? I'm just a boy from Saugus. Right. Then you're using a blow dryer.

Yeah, that's front page news. I guess. I'm surprised. I'm surprised that it's just that big of a deal. I mean, hey, people don't talk about nobodies. I am a nobody and people talk about me a lot. I mean, no, you're not. 200,000

people follow you on Twitter. Oh, by the way, where's my motherfucking cake, Mikey Podcast? Hey, I didn't get a cake for 100,000. I mean, you gotta ask. Rule number one about cakes. Wait, you're at Toronto? Yeah. Congrats. He hit Toronto yesterday. Rule number one about cakes is you gotta ask for it. Nobody hit, nobody gave me a cake for 100,000. No one's just handing out a cake.

You gotta get your own. Rone got a cake for 100,000k I didn't that's different that's not a cck thing that's like a bob fox thing I think bob fox gets people cakes for 100

I didn't get a fucking cake for 100 last month ago oh I guess he just didn't I'm at 100 I'm at 112 now so somewhere

it was around the national championship when I got fucking destroyed on that live stream between looking at looking at big cat's ass the way that I did,

like still up in the air on if it was, you know, lustful or disgusted. It was lustful. Between that and me just getting, I mean, verbally assaulted for hours. What do you mean? That stream was tough for me. I was totally okay with it. You're undressing him with your eyes

no no I'm talking about like the bet what bet? she bet money on that game the Alabama Clemson bet hey Smitty you want to fucking sell some Bryce Harper t-shirts so you can pay me the $1500 that you've owed me since November the fuck

I mean we made a bet on the Phillies over under 500 for the season. I said under. He lost. That would have been like the first week of October. So it's been five months? Five months, Smitty? Are you hearing this, John?

Oh, yeah. These are fighting words. Pay up, Smitty. It's time. Talk that shit, champ. I don't think we do. I don't know. I mean, we need to have a fucking Bryce Harper shirt.

We should have a whole line of Bryce Harper shirts. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Mm-hmm. Pay up, Smith. I'm going to fucking make them. I mean, that's what I was saying.

I'm going to go snake that bonus if you don't, Adam. I would for sure love to come up with a Bryce Harper shirt, and I'll wear it. I'll wear it down in fucking Florida. Maybe we'll get him on the podcast. Bro, I mean, you know how simple it is to just put Bryce on a fucking shirt in the Phillies font and turn the P into a B and all that shit? By the way, not to brag since we're on things that have gone well for me recently. Hair, beard, 200K.

February, the biggest month in Starring 9 history. This season hasn't even begun, folks. Hasn't even started yet. February, biggest month in history. Start. Okay. Not section 10. Not section 10.

I mean, it's just October fucking World Series. Yeah, I think we did do well in October. Big things. Big things. More things are coming because I will not be here next week. A lot of people are going to be excited about that. I won't be here next week. I'll be in Florida.

We'll be doing a bunch of interviews down there. A lot of big names. And the thing that's been cool about these trips random people just show up on the way so maybe uh there's a random person when we go to philly camp that might just show up along the way by the way the random person the picture of him on the instagram yesterday that we put up where i'm assuming you're talking about bry, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. The picture that our accounts put up of him yesterday where it was like what he looks like now and what he'll look like in 13 years in Philly. Yeah, it was like crickety-cricket.

First of all, incredible post. Just so fucking funny. Also, that might be the hottest picture in Major League Baseball history. Not in Major League Baseball history. In Major League Baseball history. There it is. I mean, Bryce definitely has a look to him. Well, yeah, but that's specific.

I mean, yes, like Bryce Harper. Oh, I didn't realize he was. Is he doing the Instagram like tea leaves all over him? What is that? Let me see. I don't know. I'm just telling you like I. Isn't that what like the Instagram thoughts do?

They put the fucking tea. I don't even care. I don't even care what's on him. I don't. I'll tell you what. In Major League Baseball history. This is awkward. The hottest picture of all time.

Because you've never seen Gabe Kapler in his prime then. Yeah, I have. Have you? Yes. You think Bryce Harper's harder than Gabe Kapler in his prime? Yes, I do. What about Brad Ausmus? Oh, you would love Brad Ausmus.

Google Brad Ausmus shirtless. Does this make it awkward for you when you film Snapchat? Because he looks exactly like Steve. Steve looks exactly like Bryce. No, he doesn't. Yes, he does. I think Snapchat Steve is an attractive guy. He does not look like Bryce Harper.

Yes, he does. Let me see that picture. He very much looks like Bryce. I don't Bryce Harper. Yes, he does. Let me see that picture. He very much looks like Bryce. I don't think so. I mean, like, he looks... No, he does. He looks like... He has the same beard and the same hair and he has the same fucking... Well, guess what? I'm coming for that ass. He also doesn't have

$330 million. No, but he is a professional athlete. No, I... That is true. I do think that Steve is... Steve's a fucking catch. Steve is attractive. I mean, but that's Bryce Harper. Yeah, but I'm just talking about looks, man. Steve looks exactly like Bryce Harper. That's just not true.

Well, I need a side-by-side. He looks exactly like Bryce Harper. He doesn't look like Bryce Harper. Yes, he does. He looks like he could be Bryce Harper's older brother, Bruce. Okay. He looks like he could be his older brother. He's younger.

How old is Bryce? You know what that is? It means he looks like him. Bryce is definitely younger than this. That guy looks nothing like him. It looks like he could be his older brother Probably younger You know what that is? It means he looks like him Bryce is definitely younger than this That guy looks nothing like him, he looks like he could be his brother So is Steve, so are they twins? No Actually I have no idea if Steve's 26, that just sounds about right

I did make that up I'm going to be completely honest To say that someone doesn't look like someone else And then say they look like their brother is retarded You could literally have You hit that R word hard right there. Yeah, but you could have siblings that look nothing alike. You could, but also...

But you just compared it to him being like, oh, no, he doesn't look like him, but he could be his brother. The only reason you're saying that is because they are similar. You realize that. You wouldn't just say that if they weren't. I mean, they have similar hairstyles. That's where it ends. And a similar beard and a similar face. I mean, ha have similar hairstyles. That's where it ends. And a similar beard and a similar face.

I mean, hairstyles. What do they look like? And beard. I mean, this is crazy. This is fucking crazy. They don't look the same. They don't look the same at all. It's not the same. Get fucking Steve in here. Is Snapchat Steve around? This would be perfect for radio. Get Steve in here so we can compare what they look like. I will take a goddamn picture of him. Like, I am not the first person

to say this and I absolutely won't be the last. You idiots. I'm not the first person to say this and I absolutely won't be the last. You idiots. I'm sitting with two fucking... The show is called Clancy and the Idiots. That's just now hitting you? Clancy and the Idiots. Clancy and the Idiots. Oh, no. Casey's just trying to pour the wine and it was empty. I love that move.

Oh, wait. Maybe there's more if I turn it all the way upside down. Oh, no. We only got one bottle? Erica has a whole bunch in her office and I was like, hey, can somebody go get some wine? And Danielle was like, you can just go take them from Erica's office. I was like, okay. It's called the wine cellar.

Erica's office. So we need to get another one of those. So fun fact that I've learned in my years of drinking, I have one true kryptonite. You know how everyone has their, oh, if I take tequila, I'm going to get mad. Oh, I do this. I do that. Fact. oh if I take tequila I'm gonna get mad oh I do this I do that if I drink red wine and Jameson now

it could be a bottle of red wine and one shot of Jameson it could be 17 shots of Jameson and one glass of red wine it does not matter whatever the chemistry is between those two I will black out do you think you look like Bryce Harper do people tell you you look like Bryce Harper yes or no so not until I got here did I ever get that, but I kind of see it.

It's just the hair and the beard, though. It's not in the face. It's just the hair and the beard and the face. The eyes. I'm talking to the fucking tape. Now I can kind of see it. Now that I'm looking at you in the face. He's overgrown.

I mean, I have an insane beard right now, but if I shaved a little bit. Yeah. I remember when you went clean shaven, I got back to that with you. Steve's beard also goes all the way up his face. Does Bryce Harper's do that? I mean, nobody goes all the way up to their eyes like fucking Steve does. But yes, I am not... It doesn't go

to my eyes, okay? Let's back up a little bit. It's high cheekbones. Yeah, well, and It's high cheekbones. He's got the flow. Now, this is an example right here because of how long his hair is. You can go long hair and beard. You can go long hair and beard because of how long... Oh, yeah. He does look like Bryce Harper.

He looks like Bryce Harper. It's crazy. You look like Bryce Harper. I did not make this up. It's like he has the whole Bryce Harper look going with him. He's also a professional lacros It's like he has the whole Bryce Harper look going. Yeah. He's also a professional lacrosse player. Except I'm probably worth north of $330. I just said I was like you don't have $330.

$330. If you were to take the ball in Cup League and overlay that over Major League Baseball and the performance of the players and if they were equivalents, Steve would be... He's Bryce Harper all the way through. He looks like him. He performs like him. He would be worth more than Bryce Harper. Probably. If the salaries were comparable.

Absolutely. In the ball and cup league. I agree. I mean, Bryce Harper's a 249 hitter. Yeah, that's true. Snapchat Steve had like a 10-game ball cup. He did. I mean, he's basically the Joe DiMaggio of the league, and we all kind of know what he'd be worth today if he played today. I said it.

You guys were wrong. You denied it. Facts are facts. I don't know who officially said first. I don't know if it was. When I first started here, someone said, this kid looks like Harper a little bit, and now. I don't think that you could be a stunt double,

but if you told me that you were his brother, I'd believe you. I think that that's different. That means you're close enough. Yes, it is. It's close enough. Yeah. It's close enough. Yeah. Close enough.

And if we cut his hair and his beard exactly like Bryce Harper did, he would be a goddamn stunt double. When somebody came to just get you right now to come on radio, what was said? Does he not look like Bryce Harper? Does he look like Bryce Harper? Yeah. Okay. It's just like, it's crazy. When we didn't know who you were, I called you Bryce Harper. Right.

When we didn't know who Stabbed FC was, he said the Bryce Harper kid. So, I mean. Not the worst. No, that's definitely not the worst comparison. But who came and got you? Zah. And he said, we need to talk to you about Bryce Harper? No, he said, Kevin wants you on radio.

Oh. I had no idea what this was about. That's scary. See, that's scary. He probably came in here swinging like, ah, ball and cup. No, yeah. I was getting ready to throw hands. But this Harper thing is good news. Yeah. It's a compliment. What did you think it was about if it was bad? Ball and cup. No, yeah, I was getting ready to throw hands, but this Harper thing is good news.

Yeah. What did you think it was about if it was bad? Ball and cup? I have no idea. This guy likes to start stuff with me. I don't know. That's true. Well, because you look like Bryce Harper,

and he's jealous. You're the face of the ball and cup. I do nothing. No, no, no. I have nothing but love for Kevin over there. We'll see how often I come out of that fucking take chamber. Let's hit a break when we come back.

Final segment before the chicks take over here on a Friday edition of Clancy the Rockets on Power 85. All right, we're back. Final segment of the day. Final segment of the week.

That means there will be another edition of the Clancy the Rockets Best Of on Monday week like 13, 14, whatever it is. Those things are cooking, baby. I've been hearing good things. Things are cooking. Sales came up to me. They said, are these download numbers correct? I said, I don't know. Are they?

Those seem staggering. Let's just say the show I've been doing for like 10 years, maybe I should just focus on this a little more after like six months. So every Monday on the KC Radio iTunes feed, there's the best of the week on Clancy and the Rockets, plus we do an additional segment of original content.

So you get like a half a podcast in addition to like two and a half hours of the best of the week, which has been I think let's just say we've hit our stride recently between the things that happen in a week here at Barstool Sports. Honestly, without even maybe exaggerating, I think the amount of like content and the amount of controversy and drama and funny shit that goes on Monday through Friday on just this show

is probably like a year of another blogger's career. You know what I mean? Like the amount of shit that we get embroiled in, the interviews we do, the people we talk to. It's like, oh, that happened a week?

Well, that's like a year at Deadspin. Yeah. Does Deadspin even do podcasting like have they discovered that that's they have to have a show but I don't know I mean they

have to have a podcast but do they I would know there has to be called there has to be something like the Deadspin podcast or something like that but I feel like

if it existed somebody here would have dug up some numbers to see like your best podcast is equivalent to our worst podcast type deal. I feel like that's something Dave

would do. I've never seen any reference to just one podcast that they do. The Dead Pod or something like that. The Podspin. Like how... I would be interested to actually know if they do a podcast. I don't think that they do. How much money would it take for you to work at Deadspin?

I can't be bought. Good answer. Yeah, I really can't. I'm like the Joker. I thrive on chaos, not money. Oh, yeah. They have a deadspin.com slash podcasts. It's called the dead cast.

Oh, did I just say that? The dead pod? I said the dead pod, yeah. But the fucking last episode was dropped on November the 21st. I mean, cause no one would listen to something like that. Dylan has been on the line for an hour and 20 minutes. He wants to talk about the Mets.

Dylan, are you there? Hey, what's going on guys? Happy, happy Friday guys. Let's get to drinking. Let's have a good time.

I know you guys started already. Yeah, I was going to, sir, guys. Let's get to drinking. Let's have a good time. I know you guys started already. Yeah. I was going to talk about the Mets, but it's Friday. I don't need no stress right now. So I was just going to talk to Jared about his hair and the outfit. I'm Dominican. I'm from the Heights. So we use this thing called UNA.

It's like a vitamin oil. And with your type of hair Like you put that on You don't even need a wetter or nothing It'll just be like Straight poof out However you want it I don't know when you get your hair cut out You think that

You think that Jared Jared can pull the The Dominican look off I mean I'm part Dominican Like the Dominican Republic has Hey De Romeo

Yeah Santo De Mio I think I'd be like I think Like, the Dominican Republic has... Hey, the Romeo! Yeah, Santo Domingo. But I think, uh... I feel like, I think you can pull it off. There's some dudes that can, like, pull it off. Jeff got that look. Like, we need to start it. Maybe while you're down in Florida,

talk to some Dominicans around there on starting nine. Get the train flowing. You got to start wearing skinny jeans, though, if you're going to try to be Dominican. So, let's start it with that first. That's the point. You got skinny legs, you can wear skinny jeans, though, if you're going to try to be Dominican. I don't have any legs, bro. That's the point. You got skinny legs, you can wear skinny jeans. My pop has skinnier legs than you.

He rocks his skinny jeans. It's all about the look. Do me a favor. You have yourself a goddamn weekend, okay? You fucking do the right thing, alright? Have a good weekend. I'll maybe call back Monday. Let's see what's going on, but have a good weekend, okay? You fucking do the rushing. All right? Have a good weekend.

I'll maybe call back Monday and see what's going on, but have a good one, guys. Let's go. I like that guy. You have the perfect legs for skinny jeans. Yeah, what do you think people wear skinny jeans for? You think that like Triple H runs around wearing fucking skinny jeans with his fat-ass thighs? No way, bro. Nobody with big legs

say... You gotta have skinny legs for your skinny jeans. I guess. I don't know. I mean, you don't want to have nothing going on there. You don't want to have... I understand that you're a hard-o and you think that like working out and being able to like fucking

leg press a bunch of pounds is a big deal. It's all about how you look, man. If you put on a pair of skinny jeans and you look stylish and cool, you think that like the hipsters who have like skinny jeans and tattoos who fuck a bunch of pounds is a big deal. It's all about how you look, man. If you put on a pair of skinny jeans and you look stylish and cool, you think that the hipsters who have skinny jeans and tattoos who fuck a bunch of chicks care about how strong their legs are? Or how big their biceps are? They don't give a fuck.

We did this with Hank for the longest time. Hank was trying to get big. He wanted to go to the road to 200. Fuck that. You're skinny. You're naturally skinny. Throw on a tank top and some black pants, get tats, grow your beard out and be a tank top and some black pants. Get tats. Like grow your beard out and be a hipster and fuck chicks. It's really all about how you look naked. I don't think that matters at all.

I don't want to hear that. No, no, no, no, no. Anyway, let's pretend that's it. No, no, no, no, no. Hey, Zach, can we just rewind like history right there and erase that? I don't necessarily mean you have to be like a fucking 10, but I'm saying like if you. Yeah. Obviously, none of us are going to be like a fucking 10, but I'm saying like, if you good, yeah,

obviously none of us are going to be living up to that standard, but I'm saying like, if you like whatever, like if you can convince a girl that like you are really hot, how, whatever she's into hipsters, goths, normal people. And then like you get naked and it's like,

all right, cool. Like we're here. Who cares? Well, so it's different if you're like super hot and then you like somehow get undressed and it's like fucking 180 degrees difference, but it's like, whatever. Who cares? Well, so it's different if you're like super hot and then you like somehow get undressed and it's like walking 180 degrees difference. But it's like, whatever.

Who cares? I've been thinking about this recently. Like you got it. You got to you got to put yourself in the right situations where people aren't like they don't have a full blown view of you naked. If you're skinny, fat and gross, you you get laying down it's like it's just like walking around is different yeah that's what i mean like i've never got to walk around naked yeah like walking around and that's for guys and girls like the second that you start like just

walking around it's a little bit different uh you know not not necessarily i'm never gonna even allow there to be like a full body profile yeah not. Not like I'm going to be laying down, you know, you're going to see certain parts that you can't avoid. But then once like that's done, I'm going to like quickly get out of the covers or put something back on or quickly like, you know what I mean? I, yeah, I, I can say that in all my years of hooking up with people, I've never been like that guy's biceps aren't big enough like this is a question so you you ever hook up a skinny guy a skinny fat guy a skinny fat guy yeah

so like uh yeah i'm 30 kevin speaking uh you ever yeah how much are you looking at the skinny fatness not at all yeah I was kind of getting that vibe and I was like, but are they just kind of glancing a look or catching a peek being like, oh yeah, that's fucking gross. That gut's big. When I say it's all about how you look naked, I'm saying if you have convinced me, however you

need to convince me that you are a hot guy, whatever, like dressed, hair, face, whatever, and unless it's an absolute fucking travesty when you take off your clothes i'm not going to notice right well i'm just thinking a lot of times it's like for the most part or like make an eye contact yeah or you're like waist up or like neck up and i'm we're talking you might not even be able to see the other person it just really kind of right but that's what I'm saying.

Is it like, as I'm having that conversation though and I'm thinking to myself, alright, she's not looking. Is she like, oh yeah, there's some love handles. Depends on what your performance is like. No, I'm not even saying during. I'm saying like afterwards. No. What do you mean it depends on what time it is?

I mean the later it is, I'm going to lower my standards. What are you talking about depends on what time it is? I mean, the later it is, I'm going to lower my standards. What are you talking about? Attractiveness? Well, right. But I'm saying, are you like, are you, I mean, guys are always kind of like catching a peek and looking and whatever. Girls, I feel like are not as visual and as like, are you hot as guys are? Yeah.

Generally, you know, stereotypically speaking. So I'm saying that like, is a girl being like, you're talking to me and then it's also like, oh, geez. Yeah. No, like I recently had a conversation with somebody that was like, oh, I see that person

take their shirt off and it's fucking gross. I'm like, well, I don't necessarily think that, but girls are going to see things differently than guys. Yeah, that's what I mean. If you're physically

attracted to somebody, even if like your girlfriend might not be like whatever, like if they, as long as it looks good to me i don't give a shit right right well yeah of course but i'm just saying you know you strategically take your shirt off or you you wait till certain things happen yeah to hide certain things but then is it like you're still getting caught you're still like they're still

catching a look yeah well i mean also it depends on the age of the person too because like when you're 22 and you're hooking up with other like young 20 people, like they're going to look different. Like you hit a certain age where like, all right, like, like, all right, like this person is this specific age and they have like a normal everyday job. Like, I don't expect them to be a fucking six pack and like ripped up biceps. It's just like maybe, you know, I'd somebody to look like they take care of themselves that's all yeah because if they take care of themselves they're going to take care of you

not necessarily I think so if they take care of their physical appearance that means they're going to take care of you that means that they are routine freaks that means that they work hard for things yeah ideally but I think a lot of people who are like motivated yeah that to look good for themselves I I think a lot of people who are like... That means that they're motivated. Yeah, to look good for themselves.

I've met a lot of guys... Either they have a narcissistic gene or they don't. Like, if they're narcissistic, they're going to be like, I care about how I look, I care about doing things for me, but if they're into, like, a good workout regimen, then that means that they're disciplined, which is good. That means that they're motivated, which is good, and those things can translate to

you. I guess it just depends on the character of the person. Yeah, no, it definitely could. But I mean, I used to do CrossFit. Like that was that person when I was living in College Station. And like the people who I worked out with, they're like great guys. But it wasn't like, oh, just because they're like super into themselves or like showering the girls

they're dating with the same attention. I would actually argue the opposite. I would too. I would absolutely argue the opposite. Argue the opposite that people that work out a lot are douchebags? I don't think he's actually listened to any of this conversation. I would say that the people who look really good

and work out and focus on themselves and their body are not going to be the most generous of lovers. I will make up for to be the most generous of lovers and like I will make up for shortcomings

it's like fat girls try harder that old trope you have to be funny but yeah but you just said that if a guy takes care of himself really well that he's going to take care of you and that's just astronomically false I didn't say that as a matter of fact I of you, and that's just astronomically false.

I didn't say that as a matter of fact. I said it could translate. That's a direct quote. I said if those characteristics could translate. If you applied it, yeah, yeah. I just think that a lot of guys who are sexy are going to be like, I'm sexy, and that's all that matters. Yeah, but that's different. Please don't look at this.

I'll go down on you. Being sexy depends on what you're doing. There's obviously Jim the, there's Jim Hardo's that just like go in there to fucking get huge and those are narcissistic people. But then there's people that are just like, I'm doing this to be healthy. And it's like, alright, well if you're doing that to take care of yourself, then you might

take care of someone else too. It's like your regimen, you work hard, that's a good trait. Hard workers, dedicated people, good trait. Dedicated to that puss dog. Yeah, that puss dog. Let the big dog eat. You know what's crazy?

We've had single Kevin for a little bit now and we haven't let the dogs out yet. Let them out? What do you mean? Me and Kevin haven't gone out on a weekend together. It could be tonight. I mean, it could be tonight.

What are you doing tonight? I mean, I got no fucking plans. I'm waiting for Florida on Sunday. If you want to let the dogs out... Just let me know. I have things to say, but I'm just not going to say it. Please don't.

Say it. No, no, no. If it's going to bring the mood down, then don't. But if you're going to elevate us, let us know. I think it'll bring the mood out if she's running her mouth.

Yeah. Say something. Say something stupid. No, it's not stupid. I can tell you exactly what will happen if the two of you guys go out. We'll go to bed by 1030. We'll be stoned on the couch

watching Joe Rogan. And maybe, maybe. But I'll be doingoned on the couch watching Joe Rogan. And maybe, maybe. But I'll be doing this on the couch. Jared's been single for a while. I don't know exactly what is going on in his life, but single for a while. And Jared sits at bars and talks to people that he's with, but then if he's not, he's on his phone.

And girls will come up, and he's just, like literally he won't even look at them. He'll just be on his phone. So if the two of you are out, you will be trying to talk to people and jared will be like scrolling through fucking twitter that is one thing about me is that if i go out uh if i go out in public i don't really talk to anyone unless i aside from the people that i've brought with me. But you know what? Not even that, though. I could probably count more times than not where we're sitting at a dinner table. There'll be like three, four, five of us,

six of us, seven of us, whatever. And people will have to be like, Jared, can you get off your phone? Yeah, that's how you get to 200K, babe. Yeah, no, it is true. Married to the game. I mean, people have millions of followers and don't do that.

Yeah, but they have to be popular. I'm not popular. I have to work for it. It's terrible. I know when people are like of followers and don't do that. Yeah, but they have to be, like, popular. Like, I'm not popular. I have to work for it. It's terrible. I know when people are like, get off your phone. I mean, there's a reason why. You sacrifice it. It's like, yeah, everyone hates you socially, but my career is pretty good.

Then stay home. I mean, I got to eat. You're not wrong. You're not wrong, but there is just something to, like, I want to do it all. I don't want to stay home. I want to go out, but I want to continue. I mean, I get it. I get it.

And there's a balance. There's a balance. Like I've had to get like during a college football games or whatever. Like I'd be like, hey, I'm going to have to get on my phone and tweet. I'm not trying to be an asshole. We're all that way. We're also all very narcissistic in this building. There's no doubt about that.

There's also a difference on like I'm actually having to be on my phone for a specific reason. And I just literally don't want I just actually don't want to talk to anybody at this table. So I'd rather look at my phone. That's Jared Kravitz. That's a fact. But you know what? I just literally don't want I just actually don't want to talk to anybody at this table so I'd rather look at my phone that's Jared Kravitz that's a fact but you know what I just don't give a fuck the chicks like that attitude they come they keep going around I'm gonna be the one to get them off the phone yeah it's either that or I'm just there's nothing

to talk to me about especially like if I go out with Casey it's like you already know the deal like you know like you don't have to catch up you know everything that's going on I don't really care about what's going on with you so that's just the saddest know the deal. You don't have to catch up. You know everything that's going on. I don't really care about what's going on with you. That's just the saddest thing. So what, you just don't have friends?

I really don't. I really don't. Well, then I can't. Wait, wait, wait. Okay. So when fights in Kevin go out, they just shouldn't talk to each other? They know everything about each other.

They're different personalities. Wait, but let me ask you this then. What does letting the dogs out entail if that is what you do when you go out? Sitting and looking at his phone. That's different. It's like if you go out with a group, you're going to talk to the group. But if it's just a couple dogs, then the dog's got to eat, Kevin. That's right.

That's right. So if you and I go out Yeah Couple dogs Yeah We're gonna eat Yeah Some steaks

If you and I and Casey go out Yeah Dogs will look at his phone Yeah I mean it's It's like so there's someone else To entertain the other person So I'll be on my phone

But if it's just a couple dogs That's right So okay Alright alright Let's say that Let's say that We're gonna go out tonight Couple dogs

Fucking marauding the town. Yeah. What would that entail? What happens? Because I'm new here. I'm being reset into the wild. I am a domesticated chihuahua, and I'm trying to become a fucking wild pit bull again.

So let's go out, a couple wild dogs. Show me the way. What are you going to do, Jared? Boom, we walk in the bar, and? And, well, here's the thing, Kevin. Don't go out with Jared. That's what your and is. Hold on, Casey.

It is kind of difficult to go out two dudes. Fact. We look a little bit... Then it looks like predatory. Right. These two guys obviously aren't here to have a conversation with each other all night. They're here to pick up girls.

So you kind of do need the buffer third. We'll bring Casey along, so it'll just be like a fucking... Yeah. Then it looks safer. Put a're here to pick up girls. So you kind of do need like the buffer third. We'll bring Casey along. She'll just be like a fucking. Yeah. Then it's, then it looks safer. Put a mannequin over there or whatever. Yeah.

Yeah. It's kind of like. I'll just pull the bitches that you're trying to pull. Yeah. So wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait. No, I don't know. I want Jared to finish what his night of with the dogs would look like. Is that what happens? We walk in the bar. We just start going. I mean, they would just know. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh. Is that what happens?

We walk in the bar and we just start going, oh, oh, oh, oh. I mean, they would just know. They just flock. They just come over. They would know the fucking deal. But I think you do need

the buffer third because then it kind of, it's like, all right, there's two dudes, like, what are they up to? Right, right, right. We get it, dude. You wanted some pussy dog.

So if we have Casey with us, then it's like, it's probably better if you have like the female wingman cause then she can be like oh my god girl I love your hair I love that oh my god does that sound like anything I would do and then next thing you know

girl's talking to Casey oh by the way this is Kevin this is Jared I would do that for you Kevin thank you girl like that's how it's done. I would do that for you, Kevin. Thank you, girl. Yeah. Like, that's how it's done. I would totally do that for you. All right. So then maybe there's, like,

CCK dogs out of the cage tonight. And I can tell you what CCK dogs out of the cage tonight would look like. It'd be me and Kevin out and Jared drinking Coke on his phone. Coke. You said that you used to

cuck your friends? Only one time. It was only one time. But, okay. So, there was this bar in College Station. It had, like, a piano bar night. And the piano bar guy that would come in, like, you know those guys who can just play anything, right? Yeah.

He was super popular. He had a smoke show girlfriend. Like, smoke. But it was kind of known that they were like not swingers necessarily but that they it was it was available it was available for play but then it had to be like you better be like slinging right so i'd never talked to her before this girl was a rocket and not only was she a rocket she had boobs that made mine look teeny tiny and i whatever. Like we'll just breeze on past that. So all of my guy friends are standing there.

Like okay. I want to go talk to her. You know they're doing the whole guy thing. And they're all like she's so hot. Which one do you think of us is like the best. This guy is like at the bar playing the piano. He's playing the piano. But it was more just like to go talk to her.

Not even necessarily like. Because she's that. Like she was that hot to them. And of course like we're like 20, 21 years old. she's probably like late 20s so it's like even more intimidating but they're all standing around just like oh my god like they can't stop talking about her and finally i was like you know what you guys are fucking idiots i'll i'll go do it so i go over there i'm like hey do you want to take a shot we take a shot and i don't know what happened like in those conversations but i just kept looking over at them and they were just like mad that I had

done it because they were like, you're the only girl in the group. What are you doing? And I thought about maybe introducing them, but then I was like, no, I'm just going to do this myself. And we just started making out at the bar and it became like this huge

spectacle. There is this whole photo shoot. The photo shoot is like still lives in infamy. My guy friends will ever once in a while say, it's because I, in my brain, was like, you guys don't want to do it? I'll fucking do it. And so it became this whole thing where it was like, don't take Casey out.

If we're all trying to get the attention of a girl, she's going to end up doing it too. Now, I'd also like to go on record and say, I'm not bisexual. But in that, I'm not. But in that... Is bi-curious a thing? Yeah, bi-curious is a thing. Yeah, that's what you are. I think you're bi-curious. Probably was., bi-curious is a thing That's what you are Probably was

Once you are, you are You are what you are But what I learned is That to me as a guy I would have been like, oh that was like Motivation, like next time I start talking about how hot are girls I should just go talk to her Because not only could the guys cuck me, the girls could cuck me

And I did, and then every single week when we'd go back, she'd be like, hey, girl. And then we'd like hang out. And then you would fuck each other. It's interesting. So, I mean, now at this point, well, we have to find those pictures. I mean, I will give you the pictures

as long as they don't end up on the internet. We've got some inside sources. There's no way you could find these pictures. I would have to get them. No, I'm not saying that I could find them. I'm just saying that we could probably track them down. I mean, I'll track them down and let Kevin see them, but you can't put them on the internet.

That's fine. Okay, deal. Sold. Sorry. Sorry, listeners. I'll have to have it on my cell phone. How much to put your pictures of you making this girl out? How much money?

Yeah, everyone's got a number. That's not that bad, to be honest. No, it's really not that bad. You can't say an outrageous number. I mean, listen, it was in public. I obviously didn't care that much. What if I was like $1,000? It's not about the money here. It's more about... How about we open up the Venmo and we can crowdsource this? Okay, so you'll just fucking cash in.

Because I'll tell you what, there's some creeps out there who will fucking... She'll end up making like $150,000. I'm trying to protect their like 150 grand. Yeah. I'm trying to protect their marriage, Kevin. Oh. It's like that. I actually.

If your wife hooks up with a chick. No, that was completely sarcastic. Because that guy's probably sitting there going. Oh, yeah. Trust me. Every single time I'd come up there. He had the piano board playing Baja, man. I'm just saying he took a lot more of my requests from that day on that piano.

I bet he did. I'm sure he did. He sure did. I'm sure I could get him right now, actually. Let me see if I could do some research. Like a quick live reaction. I don't have him on my phone, but I can get him pretty quick. All right, let's get him.

Okay. I'm going to... I mean, TikTok. I mean, you've only got like three minutes left. I know, but see, now I'm having to like text my guy friends who are like married and stuff now. They're going to be like, shit, I don't know. I mean, they're going to be like, I'll be happy to go dig those up for you.

Those guys, I guarantee whoever you do get in contact with, we'll send it back within three seconds. Yes. You'll be like, oh, it's actually the background of my phone. Like, I'm telling you. I have it bookmarked. Yeah. I have it as my favorite.

Don't worry. All right. I've sent out a bat signal. How old were you in this photograph? It's a photograph of photographs. I had to be after 21, so probably 21, 22. I had to have been after that.

After that age. Not because of drinking. The girl in the picture is married. I don't think she was at the time. But she is now. Yeah, she was in, I think, her late 20s when this happened. Yeah. She's a cougar. Vicarious cougar.

The BCC. Alright, I'm going to find him. We've established contact. Yeah. He's going to go find him. Wow, that was pretty quick. He's like, I'm not wrong. I got it. I was like, we're really going to run out of time. She's like, no, I'll do it quickly.

I don't think that we're going to really going to run out of time. She was like, no, I'll do it quickly. I don't think that we're going to get them before the end of the show. It doesn't matter. Cause no one's going to see them. But even just that response, like, okay, I'm on it. No problem.

Casey. I'm just saying like, I, it was like, it was, I was so competitive. I was so competitive in that moment that I was just like, you know what?

You guys are all sitting around acting just like scared of girls. I'll do it. And I did. It's so hard to go up to a girl like that. So much easier to be a girl to go to a girl like that. Probably. Yeah. No, I mean, no, definitely.

Oh, well, yeah. But I'm like, I was doing it simply to spite them. No, I know. I get it. I'm just saying. I couldn't stand there any longer and be like, oh, my God, how much longer are we going to talk about going to buy this girl a fucking drink? I'll do it. Were you the only girl?

In that group, yeah. There was like five of my guy friends. Well, that's what you get. You roll with that, you're going to get that. No, it was fine. We'll sit around. We'll sit around. Me and Jared will go out for two hours.

You go talk to her. I'll go talk to her. You go talk to her. I'll go talk to her.