KFC Radio - More Fire: Your Sister Slid in My DMs (featuring Kyle Van Noy, Alex Bregman, White Sox Dave, Big Cat, Dave Portnoy and Tommy Smokes)

Episode Date: February 18, 2019

Kayce prohibited Jared from having any contact with her sister. Bowls of wine, getting out of speeding tickets, and chewing charcoal. Kyle Van Noy (19:21) stops by to rub his 2nd Super Bowl KFC's face. Alex Bregman (47:15) tells Jared that no one thinks he has any clue what it's like in the MLB. White Sox Dave threw 72 mph  and El Pres (1::16:10) declared him Weird Haircut Dave. We patched calls from White Sox Dave and Pres together and let them go at it. Big Cat suggests an auction style pitch competition. What's a sexual experience with Tommy Smokes (1:34:59)? And Kayce's stalker (1:47:15) sends her a weird note and then calls in to offer to take her on a date.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I think I'm just gonna start drinking every day on the job. Welcome to adulthood. I don't know where you've been, bro. Don't fucking, uh... You, like, you shame me for drinking. You drink at night night i'm gonna drink

on the job it's different be an adult grow up grow up casey yeah no i mean now you understand like we kevin and i have been saying for a while drinking red wine does not count it's not at all i i agreed with you no is this the podcast i don't know is this recording okay we're good no but you did. Like, you, like, in Atlanta, you were like, you were putting down a bottle of wine. I was like, yeah, it was red wine. That was not shaming you.

I was just making an observation. But now you. I love that you're like, wait, I'm putting down a bottle at work. That's different than putting down a bottle at night. Let's be adults here. I'm drinking at work. That's different than drinking when you go home. These are the moments.

I know that you have had a regular job, Jared. Yeah. I know that Casey, you had a different job, although you haven't had like a fucking. Casey has never had a real job. Right. Let's just call it what it is. She's never had a real job. Rhea's yelling at me right now, by the way.

For what? Because I left my McDonald's in there. Oh. I've never met. She's like yelling, like, clean it up. I'm like, fuck. I've never met a bigger McDonald like, clean it up. I'm like, fuck. I've never met a bigger McDonald's fan than Rhea. She loves McDonald's.

It's America, bro. There's a lot of big fans of McDonald's around these parts. We don't have a lot in common. That's the one thing that we have in common to talk about. Anytime McDonald's comes up, it's like, oh, Rhea. She loves Lil Wayne, too. If you like Lil Wayne, just bring that up. I do.

These are the moments where you need to realize that it's not real life. No, it's not. I'm literally fucking drunk on wine in the middle of work. I'm walking around with a glass of wine.

There's cork in my wine, by the way. It's not great. That opener is not great. Whatever. Anyways, I feel like on like a Monday, because Dave's not here. That changes everything. If Dave is here, then I have to walk around with like a thermos of wine, which I have no problem doing.

The problem forever with Dave is that he's not a drinker. Yeah. So he doesn't respect drinking. Yeah. So if you're hungover, he's like, I don't care. It's like, well, because you're not as hungover as we are. Right. Put it in a coffee cup.

Yeah. Because he drinks coffee all the time. So there you go. Just put it in coffee. It'll be great. Or just drink it out of the bowl and just pretend. Maybe I'll get a spoon. I'll pretend I'm eating cereal.

Yeah. And it's just straight wine out of the bowl. You know what's sad is that I've been carrying this around since our radio show. Big bowl of wine in my hands. Yeah. And haven't thought anything of it. No. Yeah.

I'm just walking around. Bowl of wine is a game changer. Maybe that's what Fights has under his belt? He calls it sleep juice. Is it wine? Oh, yeah. It's wine? And he drinks it right out of the bottle, right?

Yeah. I mean, I think it varies. I think there's a rotation. It depends on how hard he needs to sleep. I think it's any and all forms of alcohol. Sleep juice will get you through. I'll be honest with you. It feels great, doesn't it?

I mean, I've had wine. I mean, you guys, what is this? This is not the first time I've had wine at work. We're fucking buzzed. Yeah. I mean, this will get you through. I'll be honest with you. It feels great, doesn't it? I mean, I've had wine at work. What is this? This is not the first time I've had wine at work. We're fucking buzzed. Yeah. I mean, this is why we drink. What's going on here? Everybody drinks and gets a buzz on.

You feel better and you're happier. Can this be a CCK thing? Like we just start getting shit face at work every day and it's like, oh no, it's for the brand. I don't want to get shit face. It's for the brand. I'm in a happy zone right now. I'm just like, I feel calm.

I feel relaxed. I just had a meeting with some of like the video guys and I didn't stumble over any of right now. I feel calm. I feel relaxed. I just had a meeting with some of the video guys and I didn't stumble over any of my words. I feel great. I feel like I could command the room right now. I would like to say, let's not get shit-faced, but let's do what we're doing right now. We've had the stress bomb. I don't know what exactly that was

that LA gave us. Maybe that helped too. It's the alcohol, guys. This is crazy. I feel like I'm talking to two teenagers. This is why people drink. Do you people do this all the time? You drink at work all the time? You think that I don't realize what wine does? I sincerely hope you guys do.

How often do you drink at work, Kevin? At work? Not that often because you get shamed. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. I don't care. I'll open up the whiskey on Brett's desk. Yeah, that's like later in the day, though.

That's true. If you drink early in the day here, people shame you. I don't care anymore. You know what, Kevin? I have something to tell you. You get shamed here. No matter what. It does not matter.

So you might as well fucking be drunk. You could be the nicest, cleanest person. Like, I feel like somebody's shaming like Jordan Berry at some point. Right. She's an angel. She's an angel. Clem's getting shamed. I mean, seriously.

Kate's getting shamed. People are the best people on the planet. It doesn't matter She's an angel. Clem's getting shamed. I mean, seriously. Kate's getting shamed. People are the best people on the planet. It doesn't matter what you do. You're going to get shamed. So we might as well start this new CCK thing where every day

when we get into work, we just open a bottle of wine. Every day. Like, I have purple teeth right now. You have purple teeth right now. The tough part about the red

is the wine mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wine mouth is tough. Do you ever chew charcoal tablets? No, I haven't. But it's just the whitener. No, no, no. This is different.

This is something I chewed up in high school. The urban legend, the myth, is that it helps you pass a breathalyzer. You chew these charcoal tablets and then it fucks with your breath or whatever. I think it's completely made up. So we were in high school once. We hopped in. My buddy's, like, he had, like, a Jeep Wrangler, like, one of the boxy ones that was, like, rattling.

We drove to Atlantic City, and we should not have been driving. And we all chewed charcoal tablets, and we were all, like, so fucked up that, like, we got out of this Wrangler and we just had like black mouth. I think it's probably like you have like one and you're supposed to just like discreetly chew it and like swallow it.

And we were probably like, no, no, no, no. And we just had like black mouth. We roll out into the fucking, like the Tropicana fucking,

the sick thing is we probably fit right in. It was like, Oh, Hey, you got to try it. Pass me some, but I need a charcoal tablets too. to the fucking like the Tropicana fucking the sick thing is we probably fit right in. Yeah. Oh, hey, you got to try to pass me some cold tablets, too. Yeah. I mean, the amount of tricks you'll maybe go through to try to hide your alcoholism or just ever actually do a field sobriety test.

I was about to say, have you? Oh, I signed up for the College Station Police Department. I don't know if it was like a I don't know exactly what it was or how I got to do it, but they were asking for volunteers to come in so all the new policemen could put people through field sobriety. And so they got you drunk first. So for the first couple hours, you're like in a room inside the PD and they're like,

okay, every 30 minutes you're going to take a shot. So you did a fake field sobriety. No, they got you shit faced first. Yeah. But like you were not going to get arrested. Oh, well, no, okay, every 30 minutes you're going to take a shot. So you did a fake field sobriety. No, they got you shit-faced first. Yeah, but like you were not going to get arrested. Oh, well, no, no, no. But you were drunk and you did the real test. I've actually done multiple real ones, but we'll get to that in a little bit. But I went through 15 field sobriety tests for like the new police officers to like test out their knowledge.

And like the captains were there or whatever. And it was amazing for me because I'm like, like okay i know exactly what they're looking for now and then then during them they would send you back in to drink more because like well some people will go back in the bar and come back out so they were strategically making you drunk and then bringing you out so that the police officers could put you through these and it was incredible because i learned that the whole physical aspect like walking in one line with one leg and all that, they don't care about any of that. It's all your eyeballs. They put you through that to just see exactly how drunk you are so they can just throw you in the car before that.

But they're like, if you're in good shape, if you're athletic, you're going to be able to walk or stand on one leg or whatever. It's all about your eyes because you can't control it. So all the alphabet shit, they don't care about any of it. Feidelberg learned how to do the alphabet backwards when he was like 15 because he was like, because of that. Yeah. Like I'm going to one day I'm going to get pulled over. I'm going to get off.

They don't. I couldn't do that. It's your flashlight in your eyes. Like they it's like you can't control when your eyes shake. If you go to like the further outside, if you're looking either side, your eyes start to shake if you're drunk. I learned all of it. Trust me.

Huh? It was one of the best nights of my life because I just got to get drunk with police officers and then they were like, this is how you get out of drunk driving. Like, well, I'm not going to do that because I'm going to take an Uber. I feel like Kevin and I would have a different experience.

I think so. Yeah, I think so. Oh, yeah, I did flirt a lot. Yeah, that's how you get out of drunk driving. Yeah, just give a little tear. Was I swerving? Oh, officer. Oh, daddy.

Can I just lean over and get... I'm sorry, officer daddy. If I called a policeman daddy, you should shoot me. I mean, he wouldn't do what you got to do. Um, have I not told you that I got out of how I got out of one one time?

Uh, no, I don't know. Can you on the air? Yeah, you know, I definitely can. I got my car died.

Like my gas. I ran out of gas on the side of the road. Idiot. And it tells you when you're low on gas. Oh yeah. Like it's not a surprise. definitely not. But in college, be you when you're low on gas. Oh yeah. It's not a surprise. No definitely not but in college to be honest I didn't give a fuck about these things. So I was almost home. I had definitely

been out and I was with one of my girlfriends who was drinking a beer in the front seat. I'm sorry dad as I'm telling this story. We were wearing those little dresses like I talked about on CCK that you had to like stretch to put on. It looked ridiculous. He pulls this over. He's like ma'am I'm going to have to give you a sobriety test and i was like well sir i ran out of gas and my boyfriend is at home and we just broke up and i go on this whole story my girlfriend who still has a beer in her vicinity

somewhere it's probably not visual like in his line of sight starts crying and he's like you know what why don't you two just come get in i will take you to the gas station and we'll go get you some gas. What a nice guy. So I'm like, okay, yeah. Goodness out of his heart, I'm sure. Goodness out of his, so I'm just like,

okay, thank you so much. Like, I'm going through a lot. Like, my parents are really mad at me. We get in the car, the squad car, back of the squad car. He takes us, he buys us the plastic can

at the gas station, fills it up with gas. This guy was trying to fuck. Takes us to the car. How old was he? I don't know, like 40s maybe? Yeah, definitely went through a recent divorce, just trying to fuck. Rebound. This is pre, like,

body cams, the whole mind. He fills it up, and then he's like, I'm gonna follow you ladies home, just to make sure. He's like, just so you know, next time, don't drive. Yes, sir. Or just call me. I'll come too. When I tell that story, people are like,

well, you got to have taken your dress off. I was like, no, I literally just said, hey, my boyfriend and I broke up. I'm sad. My girlfriend's crying. My parents are mad. Oh, and by the way, I ran out of gas. Have you ever gotten out of a ticket?

And how? I can tell you about times I didn't get out of a ticket uh i think i've gotten i have gotten out of a ticket because of like they ran my license and they were like this is such a headache if i give you the ticket because like you're suspended and you didn't pay this and we're like what about this thing that happened in a different state like i need to arrest you if i need to so like just get the fuck out of here. You almost talked your way into a ticket. Yeah.

Bullshit. Yeah, well, so that was bullshit, though. We were on Long Beach Island, and I was driving. Me and him were going back, totally sober. Guy comes up. He's doing, like, the flashlights. We decided we were on, like, a family vacation, and we decided at, like, 11 p.m.

Like, let's just get home now. We wanted to go back to the city. But we were completely sober, but they were like, you know. Who's leaving the island at 11 o'clock right now? And he comes back, and he's like, I'm giving you a seatbelt ticket.

And I thought, the way he presented it to me, I thought he was like, in addition to. And I was like, bro, I was wearing my seatbelt. And he's like, shut up.

Like, he's giving you, like, that's all you're getting. Like, you're not getting, but I would have understood that if I was drunk. Yeah. I wasn't. So you, like, that's all you're getting. Like, you're not getting. But I would have understood that if I was drunk. Yeah. I wasn't. So I was like, well, I didn't do anything wrong.

And I did have my seatbelt on. So what the fuck are you talking about, pig? I smell bacon, pig. Shut up. No, I didn't say that. Oh, I was like, Kevin, you're a way bigger badass than I thought you were. I was just like, but officer, I have my seatbelt on. And he was like, are you fucking kidding me?

But I would have got that if I had done something wrong. You know? Yeah, no, I would be mad about that. If I had done something wrong, I would have realized I'm getting off the hook. No, but I think we were probably speeding. And he was trying to give you a lesser offense. I thought you were drunk. Yeah.

You're not. But I got to give you something. Yeah, but I wasn't. There was no way I was like whipping down fucking the avenue on Beach Haven being like going 80. Or maybe like a 40 and a 30. Whatever it was, I was like, fuck this. I got out of a speeding ticket and rolling through a stop sign ticket. The speeding ticket.

So I got pulled over doing. So he pulled me over. I knew I was speeding. So he pulls me over and he was like um he's like you know that you're speeding like do you know how fast you're going i was like officer i know exactly how fast i was going because i was in cruise control ray bork is my favorite player i was going 77 he's like he's like i got you at 77 i was like i tell no lies officer uh he's like he's like because of that reason and because like yeah, he's like, get the fuck out of here.

I was once driving to Vermont, one of those ski trips we were on. And it was one of those, everyone in the car was drinking beers, but the driver was fine. And we get pulled over and he's like, son, do you know how fast you were going? He was like, 84 miles an hour. And I was like, motherfucking right. 84 miles an hour. Like, nailed it. He was like, there was a hill, and I picked up a little bit of speed on the decline. He was like, shut the fuck up.

You're already good. Just tell the truth. Just go. Yeah. The stop sign, though, that was so there's not rotaries. There's only rotaries in, like, the North Shore. We're, like, the only fucking place that has rotaries. The rotaries in Boston, by the way,

preposterous. We have a rotary in Saugus Center. I came to the rotary and it was like 1 o'clock in the morning. There's obviously no traffic. I can see the cop posted up waiting for people to speed or whatever. You're supposed to stop before you get into the rotary. I just saw the cop.

I wasn't drunk. And I just blew through the stop sign. I went to the rotary and he pulled me over. He's like, did you fucking? He's like, you saw me there. You saw the stop sign. What's the matter with you? And I was like, honestly, officer, I thought about it.

And if I made a complete stop before this rotary at one o'clock in the morning when there isn't a car on the street you would have pulled me over for being drunk. You're not wrong. It would have looked way more suspicious. You're like 10 and 2 and you follow the rules like that motherfucker's drunk.

It would have looked way more suspicious if I made a complete stop knowing that there isn't a car for miles in any direction than if I just kind of yielded at the isn't a car for miles in any direction. Then if I just kind of yielded at the stop sign and just went about my way. And he was like, no, you're right. All right. Honesty is the best policy, man.

This is one of those things. Like, I know you said this earlier this week, Kevin. Also, it helps to be white. I was saying, it helps to be white. It also helps to be a girl. It helps to be a girl that cries. Like, you said you were like, well, I didn't cry. Get Ellie in here. Ellie can get away with literally murdering someone.

What do you think? The over-under on Ellie's tickets? 0.5. I was going to say. I'll take the under. I'll take the under. You know my younger sister. She got us out of weed.

We had weed in the car. Smelling of it. And the cop was like, where are your parents? And we're like, oh, they're down the street. They're like, well, why don't you have your dad come and get you? And I'm like, look. Officer, we've been skunked. I just, I don't understand the girl, I mean, I guess I do

understand the girl phenomenon, but my younger sister is a lot nicer than me. She's just like Ellie. Yo, Ellie slid in the DMs today, by the way. My sister slid in your DMs? Look at Casey's face. Yeah, do you want to know what she said? Want to fuck? Do you want to know what she said? No, I don't. Yeah, you don't want to know. I want to know. She said? Do you want to know what she said? No, I don't. Yeah, you don't want to know.

I want to know. She said, I miss you. Oh! She said that in the DMs. We got receipts, too. Anyways, what were you saying about this story? I just, I don't have anything else to say. Okay, cool.

I mean, good for my sister. Yeah. Great for her. She didn't mean it. I mean, like, unprovoked. Wait, this was unprovoked? I don't believe that. Great regard. She didn't mean it. I mean, like, unprovoked. I was going to say, wait, this was unprovoked? Yeah. I don't believe that at all.

Well, she responded to my Instagram story and said, I miss you. That's unprovoked. You haven't been talking to her at all? No. I haven't talked to her in probably like two weeks. She responded to my Instagram story and said, I miss you. Oh, shit. Yeah.

And you know what I said back? No. I miss you too. I was hoping that was gonna be the answer hey that's right that's right that's right i am i have i honestly have no words you know what i'm gonna do as soon as we're done recording this you're gonna yell at her call my sister yeah be like lock it up keep it like do not dm him you him. You know that if you just kind of like suppress it, it only makes her want it more. Oh, yeah.

She doesn't want you, Jared. Sounds like she does. Sounds like she misses her. Imagine you call up your sister and say, do not talk to that boy, Jared. Do not fuck him. You ever heard of Romeo and Juliet? Have I?

They're going to fucking kill each other. And this weekend. If my sister fucks Jared, I will kill myself. him. You ever heard of Romeo and Juliet? Have I? They're gonna fucking kill each other. My sister fucks Jared. I will kill myself. Wow. That would be a wild ending. That counts. That's on record. These cameras and not because of anything else other than

I would not be able to walk into this office every day knowing that you fucked my sister. Just like my smirk every day. You just know what it's about. You got to start drinking more often. I literally can pick out like 10 people in this office that I'd be like, please have sex with my sister. You're not anywhere near that list. What's wrong with me?

You're not anywhere near that list. I'm a good guy. Hey, am I on the list? You're on the list, guys. Oh, let's go. Especially if he wears like the gray sweatpants and the black hat. Kevin's on the list? You're on the list, guys. Oh, let's go. Especially if he wears the gray sweatpants and the black hat. Kevin's on the list. You, I don't care if you walk in looking like Rico fucking Suave.

You cannot fuck my sister. Ever. I don't think it's up to you. Oh, it's up to me. Guess what? You're making it a lot worse right now. Yeah, you are. You know what you should have said?

Forbidden love is slammed up. Jared, you are the number one choice. If I could pick a girl, a guy for my sister. No, I know you treat her right, but I've said this on the show before. said forbidden love you should have said jared slammed you are the number one choice if i could pick a girl and i'd be like a guy for my sister yeah no i know you treat her right but i've said this on the show before i have two groups of friends right people that i can picture having sex and people that i cannot and then you add my sister to the mix and it gets even crazier you're on the absolutely not you're not even i don't even want you to look you're making it so much worse here's the thing casey I've had a little bit of wine.

I just, you know, I think she's great. I think she's a great person. I don't even know why we jumped to sex in this conversation. I just hope she has a good day. Because whenever you said I miss you, you had this creepy little look and this little whisper. Kevin, back me up here. I mean, it was perfectly gentlemanly. Yeah. I just hope

she has a good day. That's all. You just said I miss you too. There's nothing creepy about that. I was just like. a good day. That's all. He just said, I miss you too. There's nothing creepy about that. That just made me respond the same way that I listen to Tommy Smoke's ASMR. The snarl on my face. If you want to,

actually, Jared, good luck. Wow. May the odds be ever in your favor. It sounds like they are. She's all up in his DMs They are not She's in Yo Casey's sister You know what this is

Oh Allie Yo what up girl I know you're listening Hey yo I heard you I know that Casey called you immediately after this So you're listening to this right now What's up what's up

All I can hear is this stupid I heard your Casey's I heard your Casey's sister Let me whisper in your ear I heard you That's what I feel about right now Yeah Miss little mama let me whisper in your ear I wanna kill myself I heard that're Casey's sister. Let me whisper in your ear. I heard you. That's what I feel about writing that song. Miss little mama, let me whisper in your ear.

I want to kill myself. I heard that you're Casey's sister, and I heard that maybe you want to fuck the Rocket. Anyway, the rest of the best of. No, she doesn't. We are talking about, at the end of today's episode, you will hear from Casey's stalker, who wants to have sex with her in a dungeon,

who Casey somehow agreed to go on a date with. Putting Alex Bregman in my pocket. We got Alex Bregman in Rocket's back pocket. We got Kyle Van Noy. I think I was in his back pocket. Yeah, we got White Sox Dave, who's in everybody's pocket. Yeah. And a whole week of action here on case on Clancy and the Rockets.

I texted Ellie. I asked her if she'd ever got a ticket. She said, of course. Oh, only one. And I've been pulled over hundreds of times. Yeah, exactly. She's got like nine thousand here. Clancy and the Rockets best a week. Twelve. Thirteen. Yeah, exactly. So she's batting a bucket like 9,000 here. Let's go.

Clancy and the Rockets, best of week 12? 13? It's something. Who knows? See you next week. Did she really DM do that? All right, we're back. Got a special impromptu guest here. We are now joined by Patriots linebacker Kyle Van Noy.

I'm just a Super Bowl champion. Yeah, you make sure you put that on. You hear that respect on his name. That's kind of weak. Well, listen, I was about to tell you you wanted to be even more weak. He kind of has the Sam Darnold hair going on. Sam Darnold was at our event in Atlanta

and they were standing next to each other. It was like twins. Yeah, it was weird. It was a strange look. That's cute. Listen, if you were upset with that introduction, I was about to say, I fucking hate your guts. I'm reluctantly having you on this goddamn show because I actually it's funny. Every patriot I've ever met, I unfortunately have really liked them.

So we'll see if you keep up the streak right now. I don't like you, though, so we'll find out. But it's weird. Every time I meet, I met Vrabel. I met Vin Terry. I met William McGinty. Wilfork was awesome. I'm like, fuck.

How can you not like Vince? He was awesome. He brought a fucking 30-pack of beer. He was telling stories. And I was like, shit, I like this guy. Yeah, he's good people. You should hear his speeches before games. I can imagine, man.

He gets you hyped. I can absolutely imagine. He's still the all-star of Hard Knocks. Like, I don't care. It doesn't matter what happens in Hard Knocks. Vince Wilfork will always be the king. It's literally like a fraternity. They'll have the old Patriots come back to talk

to Brady before the games. It's a never-ending list to be like, yeah, if we can't get that Super Bowl champ on the line, I'm sure we can just call a different Super Bowl champ to come back that's a notable name. It's probably 50 guys deep at this point. That's kind of crazy.

And you're not just winning one. I mean, I'm on the list for two. You got a bunch of other guys on the list. You're on the list for three. All right, that's kind of – Tom's on for six. Yeah, that's tough. That is tough. That's tough, Kevin.

That's tough. That's a hard world to live in. You've got quite the media Torah. How is going toe-to-toe with Max Kellerman? That was easy yeah i mean i mean you saw it oh yeah but he's still he's still sticking to his guns though i don't know why he he's out of his mind we talked about i mean he's gotta he's he's he's so he's so pot committed to this stupid story that he's gonna do it until it's true and then he can be like i told you so

even if it takes 10 goddamn years to come true. Yeah, and I think that's why he's just mad. And it was beautiful to watch in the interview just seeing him so mad because he's sitting there and he couldn't say shit. I was like, you can't say nothing to me. We won a Super Bowl again. How much is that talked about prior to you? Like after you win, sure. You're talking about it now. But like are you guys in the locker room and in between games talking shit about Max Kellerman?

I mean, after we won, we got to actually talk about everything a lot more. Like, you know, going down on the parade. We got to talk shit a little bit. You know, we're about to hit another parade. And you got these talking heads think they know, you know, the dynasty's over or whatever. And here we are on the parade tour. But during it, you're kind of all business. You're not letting that affect you?

Or is it like. I mean, we hear about it. We see it. It's hard not to. You know, you're looking at it on TV all the time or whatever. So, I mean, you see it. Yeah, you naturally are you're looking at it on TV all the time or whatever so I mean you see it you naturally are going to hear about it well I mean you know you guys were such underdogs

this time around they were great job by you guys making up this fucking great job coming up with a completely fabricated storyline for motivation it worked it was great it worked but he's totally fucking made up he's not bitter at all he's been doing made up. He's not bitter at all. You're the Patriots, man.

He's been doing this. Tom Brady's been doing this for 20 fucking years. You're not the underdog, man. Well, and my thing to that is we could have been the favorites by the bets or whatever, but you and everybody else want us to lose, right? Yeah. So how is that not? That's not an underdog.

Thank you. If I'm- By the betting world, we're not. But to everyone else – If I am desperate for you guys to lose, it's because you've been winning so goddamn much, and I expect you to win. You can't be an underdog. But when the entire country is rooting against the Patriots, that creates the underdog. So you're saying a Patriots fan made the KC display of KC versus New England

or a Patriots fan made a Rams with the little thing without New Orleans in there. Poor New Orleans. Sucks in New Orleans. And a Patriots little column of New England. You know, are you saying Pats fans did that? I doubt that. I honestly, I think anybody who was really pushing the idea that the, little column of New England. You know, are you saying Pats fans did that? I doubt that. I honestly, I think anybody who was really pushing the idea that the,

listen, I am the biggest, I am the biggest Pats hater in the world. And several years ago, I gave up. I was like, there's just nothing you can say anymore about this team. So you're back on the hate train? I'm always going to hate, but there was, there was, there's just no way to criticize the organization and not sound like a fucking moron. So, like, the Kellermans of the world are going to do it. And if you guys want to run with that and be like, well, we're underdogs because Max Kellerman says we're going to lose, fine.

But the reality is much more people are like me where it's like we fucking hate you, but we can't deny how good you are. That's not even true, though, because, like, all right, Max Kellerman, he just makes shit up just because he knows that people are going to talk about him for having the worst thing. That's all he wants. Yeah, people will talk. If he just says, yeah, the Bradys of the world are going to continue to dominate, no one's going to talk about Max Kellerman. But we're talking about him now because his takes are trash. That's so annoying. But we were in Atlanta. We were in Atlanta doing radio that whole week leading up to the Super Bowl.

And we had guys on from, like, six different teams. Who do you think is going to win? Now, that is true. We didn't get a lot of picks for the Patriots. That is true. Why is that? Because they probably lost to us, too. I mean, a lot of people were just, you know, if you go by the talent,

if you go top to bottom on the roster, and I'm like, are you talking about the same fucking roster as me? Yeah, I don't understand that, too. A lot of talking heads said all year our defense was slow yeah it was this and that tom's old but you watch that defensive performance in the postseason i don't see anybody being slow no man i mean i feel like that super bowl i mean what what was your perspective of offf's performance? Did you guys feel like he... Yeah, your face just said it all.

So the face said it all. I mean, were you guys like, oh, this dude shook? Oh, yeah, he was shook. Yeah, you knew it. You could feel it, right? Oh, yeah. I mean, you just had to step on the field and know that the ground was shaking around him a little bit. And that's not discrediting how good he is because dude's a baller he's balled you know this whole

last year frankly and he deserved to be in the Super Bowl with how he's played his own lines played Gurley's played CJ Anderson but you could tell it was a little too big for him and it wasn't too big for us that's that's that experience right you've been there before I wouldn't say that it was also too we lost we kind of defensive sucked the last super bowl and we were all pissed off about that so we were like you know let's get our shit together and go out there and show people what's really good yeah and we showed him you did how much of him being shook do you think was the fact that the super bowl was a home game for the patriots it It was like 90% Patriots fans, if not more.

That was so tight. They came out of the tunnel. They got the shit boot out of them. And they got a standing boo in the Super Bowl. That's wild. There aren't LA Rams fans. There's just not Rams fans. I think that had to have been the most

lopsided fan base representation in Super Bowl history. I think that. But then that last year, too, with the Eagles, you know, there was a lot of them boys and women down there hollering for the Eagles. Yeah. Well, they're just loudmouths in Philly. They didn't have the numbers. Yeah. They're just the loudmouths.

But I mean, the Patriots fans are very good fans. They're diehard, baby. I mean, at this point, there's a lot of real fans, but there's obviously a lot of bandwagon fans, too. That's okay. We'll take them all, baby. And they travel. And so, and the Rams fans. Get the fuck out of here.

No, I'm not. Try to convince him. Try to convince him. Just do it. Just join. Just come to the dark side. Fuck you guys. No.

Are you intimidated by sitting at the table with three combined duck boat rides? This guy rode the fucking duck boats for the Red Sox and he thinks he's part of the team. He is. You're part of it. If you're on the boat, you are part of it.

That's right. Hell yeah. You get to experience what confetti's like and beers getting thrown at your head. That's the day that kills me the most, because when I watch the Super Bowl, it drives me crazy and I fucking hate it. But it's not like I'm not a fucking professional football player, so I can never imagine being on the field. But the parade day when it's all about the fans and I'm like, so I could be there. I could be doing that. And I don't want to be with Gronk with your shirt. That's another one. When I met him, I'm like, God, he's awesome. He's as advertised.

I mean, it would be incredible to be catching beers with fucking Gronk. It's an awesome time. He was miserable last Tuesday. It's an awesome time. Kevin Lynch, just miserable. That's good to hear. But it's okay. It's not like he sank to a lower spot.

I hate you. You're not making the list of Patriots I hate. That's okay. He didn't sink to a lower spot. He's just been down there for so long that it's just, it's not really a, we can't resuscitate Kevin. So are you excited about Adam Gase then? Oh, no.

You're kicking him while he's down? I mean, from what little I know about him, like that press conference he had. You see that press conference? Yeah, the taco thing. That was a little weird. The taco thing was pretty bad. His eyes were bugging out. What do you think it was?

What do you think he was on? Something, man. I don't know. It was either that or I almost hope he was on something because if he wasn't and that was just like something he thought he should be doing, that's even crazier. I like it. You got to start somewhere. You like it because you're in the fucking AFC East. Why are you hating on the AFC East?

That's another thing. Oh, no, that's a fucking other thing. I am so sick of talking about anybody who's trying to defend the AFC East, aside from the Patriots. Yo, they beat good teams. No, they don't, dude. What do you mean? It takes the fewest amount of wins to win that division.

They had the fewest amount of wild card appearances. They are just not a good division. It's just not a good division, dude. Do not tell me that the Bills, Jets and Dolphins are a fucking good crop of competition. But they beat good teams, right? They beat playoff teams. Everybody, a blind squirrel

finds a nut, man. There are games here and there. Overall. So we suck because we beat all the playoff teams. That's not what I'm saying. You are good no matter what. You are good no matter what. But the AFC East is not a good division. Those two things can happen at the same time.

So is a good division then considered which ones? The Seahawks, Rams, the Niners, and who else? The Cardinals? This is my argument though. I get it. Every division has bad teams. But the Jets and the Bills are too like... The look on your face is pointless.

I wish this was on TV. A couple more games. I don't know what the records are but I know the Bills won about five games I believe. I know the Dolphins won about seven games eight games and I know the Jills won about five games, I believe. I know the Dolphins won about seven games, eight games. And I know the Jets won about five games, right? When you look at the schedule.

Then you have another team in other divisions that go two and whatever or three and whatever, and they're considered good because they got the Rams that are really good. I get what you're saying. You know what I mean? But here's what I'm saying. I think the Jets, I think the AFC East is probably prone to win six or seven games, like you said, some win in two and three. But none of those teams are ever a threat to you to knock off the top.

Like when you look at the schedule. NFL, every game is like. I get all that. But when you look at the schedule, are you ever circling the Jets and the Bills? Like, oh, boy, we got to go to Buffalo. Yeah. No, you're not. Well, then you're crazy for doing that because it's not going to be hard for you.

You watch every game that we play against them. They're tough. They might not look tough at the end of the game when we're in the fourth quarter, when the margins go crazy, right? But if you watch the entire game, first, second, third quarter, and most of the fourth quarters, they're close-ass games. Listen, I'm going to tell you how football works, all right? Yeah, let him know.

Let him and his two rings know. I suppose you might know better than I am. I'm saying that on the whole, anybody trying to tell me that the Jets, Bills, and Dolphins are like tough competition for the Pats, that's just not true. Well, I mean, they do play them tough. It's not that they're necessarily good teams. That's what I'm saying.

You got to go into their house. They're going to elevate their game to play the Patriots. You're getting their best game. And the reason that they weren't. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, like the Dolphins, that was their Super Bowl. That game was their Super Bowl. And the Miami Miracle is the reason they weren't, they didn't have home field advantage.

And the Jets, every fucking time they play the Patriots, that's their Super Bowl. They could be a four-win team. It's like the curse of the past, though, right? Come on, man. I mean, that's what happens though, right? I mean, every team always wants to to, it's their Super Bowl every single game.

Even if the Patriots aren't defending Super Bowl champions, everyone elevates their game to play the Patriots because of the Patriots. I'd agree. Which is crazy. That's why the level of sustained success is even crazier because it's like... You want to hear a crazy thing we always talk about?

Every team that beats us, watch what happens to them the them the game after they get demolished because they empty the tank if you ever want have you you could go over every team that beat us watch what happens yeah jacksonville pittsburgh pittsburgh yeah the dolphins they have a hangover a patriots hangover the titans went down to the colts yeah they literally just they they it's crazy. They know because they have to. If you're a team like the Jets, right, and you're not going to make it to the postseason,

you would much rather beat the Patriots and lose the last six than have the reverse effect. Yeah. I mean, to be honest, I'd do whatever I could to make the playoffs. Right. But these teams, I'm saying if they don't make the playoffs, like they're going to empty the tank against the Patriots and get that one win because that doesn't justify their season. But to have any highlight whatsoever, if you're not going to make the playoffs,

like the Dolphins having that one win against the Patriots and to do it in the fashion that they did it. I mean, that game was the reason why the Chiefs were the number one seed. That's right. Yeah, I just said the Miami Miracle is the reason the Patriots didn't have home field advantage. Right. Which is crazy.

That's kind of crazy. It is. I hate that play. I should have tackled Buddy. I don't know what happened. I just got dirt in my face. How often do you relive that? I mean, as much as it is.

Yeah, I would say a lot more, I would say a lot more than I thought I would have just because I know I, I could have made that play. I make that play however many times, nine out of ten times

in that once. That's why it's a miracle, right? I tricked it off. Yeah. Ooh, that shit pisses me off. I'm competitive too,

though. I was going to say, that's a look into the competition because well yeah but you won the Super Bowl it's all good but that still eats at you

oh yeah same thing with the Steelers too ooh that one hurts we gave all good we won but they still celebrated that

like it was their their Super Bowl yeah they kinda celebrated that picture with Joe Hayden about the pick or whatever that's crazy yeah we're over here celebrating rings right yeah Yeah, they kind of celebrated that picture with Joe Hayden about the pick or whatever.

That's crazy. Yeah. We're over here celebrating rings. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And then after winning the AFC championship game and you tweeted out, like, we suck. It's like, I love it. But at the same time, then he's like, why did you guys say that?

No one ever thinks you guys suck just because the sports betting world puts us favorites and everybody else around if you come up to boston and hear what they say about us i think you'd be like all right you guys do suck yeah we both worked in local boston media we know it's successful it's the worst it is they suck to be honest with you and they don't have to go they don't have to go in the locker room and talk to you though that's what i can't stand like they've been there they sit here and talk all this trash behind a mic yeah but i know damn right if they would say any of that they they wouldn't i don't know what you're talking about man i never heard of that at all all right they're telling me you

got to get moving so so we appreciate you stopping through, man. We'd go all day. You're more important. I could do this all day. We'd hire you as a fourth mic. Let's get it. We could do this in the off-scene. I'll talk trash to you.

Talk shit. That's what we do. There we go. Thank you for coming through, dude. Thank you. I appreciate y'all having me. Congrats on the win. Thank you.

I suppose. Two-time champ. How about we just end it there, though, all right? You got enough two-time Super Bowl. You can just stop now. All right, let's go for three. They'll be back next year, Kevin. I hate to tell you that.

Sure they will. We got a couple minutes here before we hit our break. Take care. I mean, I suppose. Thanks, man. I guess I just suppose that I have to defer to the professional football player on what it's like to play professional football. Sure.

But you're lying to me if you said you're scared of the Bills. You're lying. It's not that. Not to say that you don't prepare. I get that there's a hard-fought game. I'm being scared of the Bills. Nobody on the Patriots, nobody in the Patriots organization, ever starts the season being like,

watch out for the Bills, Jets, or Dolphins. They might take us out this year. No, but you know what the difference is? The Patriots will never come out and say that because they're not going to ever give bulletin board material. That's the reason New England is the way. But they also don't believe it. Oh, no.

Gifts. Kevin, I got breaking news. Let's hit it. Let's hear it. Oh, God. White Sox Dave. Oh, no. Did the pitch challenge today.

Oh, no. White Sox Dave. Oh, no. Did the pitch challenge today. Oh, no. Still better than me, but it was not 91. It was 72. And that was with warming up. So he, which I did not get the benefit of doing. So he threw off a mound. So when he threw 91, he got like a running start, crow hop, and he fired it. I just lollygagged and threw off of a carpet.

He threw off of a mound, and it was 72. Who just texted you that? I can't divulge my sources. Are you going to blog about it? Was this the official? I saw him tweeting about the official White Sox challenge. Yes, yes, yes. So it was in public. It was on the record know, it was in public. Everyone was there.

It was on the record. There's no denying it. 72. That really hurts when, you know, you built your brand off of throwing 91, and then you only threw four miles per hour faster? Faster than the... How is this not on Twitter yet? That was with warm-up pitches.

I did not get to warm up. How is this not on Twitter yet? So if I threw off a mound with warm-up pitches... Well did not get to warm up. How is this not on Twitter yet? So if I threw off a mound with warm-up pitches. Well, because White Sox Dave is certainly not putting this up. Jared Karabas is sitting right here. He's got a smidge. Yeah, he's got a rack. I mean, if I get some warm-up pitches like White Sox Dave was afforded,

I bet you I'd throw harder than White Sox Dave. What little birdie do you have in Chicago? I can confirm what Jared said is true. Thank you, Zion. So, Zion, you knew this already, too? No, I just got the news, Dave. What little birdie do you have in Chicago? I can confirm what Jared said is true. Thank you, Zod. So, Zod, you knew this already, too? No, I just got the news, too. Okay. Damn, we got...

Can you divulge your source? No, I cannot. I leave that to Jared. I love source battles. Sources. I'm a producer, not a host. Chris Broussard, sources. I love source battles so much.

Now, I mean... I mean, Jared, are you... White Sox, Dave. How is this not on Twitter yet? I mean, Jared, I was just not on Twitter yet. I mean, it is. I just said you hate to see it. You hate to see a guy that brags about throwing 91 actually only throw four miles per hour than me

with warm-ups when I didn't have the benefit of warming up. Are you confident you can throw 73? Yeah. Yeah. If I get the warm-up, for sure, yeah. This is so good. What a turn of events. What a turn of events. What a turn of events.

What a fall from grace. White Sox Dave has been riding that. And I talked about this before. I talked about this before. I was like, if I were White Sox Dave, you ride that 91 for the rest of your life. You never step in front of a radar gun for the rest of your life. You're stupid for stepping in when you did. He is exceptionally stupid for doing what he did.

Here's the thing. We were like it was a fucking like fan fest. At that point it wasn't a battle. He knows that he's in battle right now. Yeah. He knew that he was stepping up to be like look at what I can do. 72. Yikes. But

and I will because people were tweeting me being like oh you're a coward for not going to this thing in Chicago. It's like it's the fucking middle of the week. We got a radio show to do. We got podcasts to do. I'm going to Arizona on Sunday. I will get in front of a radar gun. I will be afforded warm-up pitches.

And I will throw harder than 72. You bet your fucking ass I will. Woo! That's how you cut a promo. When I say that this is so good, it's just because I felt like all the hype around their actual competition, it was never going to happen because it just kind of died. I don't think we're ever going to have like a side by side sort of thing. But I think now, but now it's so much closer.

Yeah. Well, here's the thing. Jared, you must be jumping for joy right now. I mean, I feel like Tom Brady before the Super Bowl. Like, I already know that I won before I did it. To be honest, 68-72, that's negligible to me. It's like, I don't know. But I need to throw harder than 72, and I

will. That's the thing. If you throw 68... Guaranteed, put it in the books, put it in ink, bet the rent. Kevin, when I... No warm-ups. No mounds. Listen to me. When I go in front of a radar gun to throw harder than 72, I will bring a can of gas with me.

If I don't throw harder than 72, I will light myself on fire. Yeah. We got to light yourself on fire challenge. Let's fucking go. Can you put this in writing? Again, if you can throw 68 without warming up. Right. That's at least 75.

With warming up, maybe 75. Is it that? Seriously, I'm just asking. Yeah. Is that a big of a difference? Without throwing. The last time that I threw was with Dallas and Oakland in April. And then if you go in front of a radar gun, they're like, hey, throw as hard as you can.

It's like, you're not going to throw your max velocity without warming up. It just doesn't happen like that so if you can throw 68 just like literally waking up at 5 a.m after a night of drinking and be there at 10 a.m be like yeah all right i'm just gonna in my jeans and my fucking dress shoes throw throw at the speed gun it's like yeah you're coming in harder than that casey what would you issue a i will light myself on fire challenge for? What are you confident enough in yourself that you would put that on the line? He's blaming the cold. He said it's cold outside.

I grew up in Boston. It's cold when we play baseball all the time. Yeah, bro. You're from Chicago. I was going to say, he's from Chicago. He's not from fucking Texas. Polar vortex up in this bitch. You don't get to play the weather card. I do not play the cold card there. I don't know. I don't think I play the weather card. I do not play the cold card there. I don't know. I don't think I'm confident in myself in anything.

I don't. To put a light myself on fire challenge. I feel like anything with college football, but I still am not confident. There's going to be somebody. Oh, no. Viva La Stool just tweeted it out. Let me just rudely to my listeners here put this on real quick.

I got to watch this. I mean, this is tough rudely to my listeners here put this on real quick. I got to watch this. I mean, this is tough. I mean, you hate to see this, but it's funny because you actually love to watch it. Why would he agree to do this knowing that this— He's not a smart person. I give White Sox credit Dave. I give White Sox Dave credit for like he created a monster of an angle and he could have kept riding that wave. Right. But he didn't.

He threw. I mean, this is what Dave said this initially about the whole. And I know you're saying, you know, you were just kind of it wasn't an official challenge and all that shit. But it was just like, you know, if you think there's any chance that you don't throw hard for the sake of your reputation, your angle, your blog material, your nickname, all of it, you can't do it. Now, White Sox Dave, he for sure knew the score. Yeah. I mean, that just that to me has to say you can say whatever you want about the cold. That to me just says without the running star Crow Hoff, you just your arm doesn't you don't have it.

Yeah. I mean, like it's I mean, that is a 20 mile an hour difference. Yes. 20 is a lot, right? Yeah. I mean, like, holy shit. The difference between 91 and 72 is a big league fastball versus, like, a high school fastball.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's talk to Aaron from Dallas. He wants to talk about White Sox, Dave. The infamous, the new number, although higher than 68, the 72 is more infamous in my mind. Doesn't look as good as 91. Aaron, what do you got?

All right, so I'm staying just a little bit woke on this. I haven't seen the bill yet, but is there any chance that he's kind of hugging this to get the Rocks up for the competition? You think he's slow playing this? Is it a long con? Now that would be truly diabolical. That would be so dumb.

Why would you do that? I mean, that also, I mean, I'm watching the video now. You know, he's popping off the mound. His arm is whipping back after he throws it. If this is an intentionally slow, long play, he is very good at, like, acting. At pretending to pitch as hard as he can, but not. I also don't think that that would be a smart thing to do

because there's a number attached to it, right? So it's like, what if he and Jared never actually do it? He's like, well, you did throw 72. You know what I mean? Yeah, you know, it's like, what if he and Jared never actually do it? He's like, well, you did throw 72. You know what I mean? It would be suicidal in this battle, but just considering all angles here, it would be funny if you rolled in there being like,

I got this, and then he just drops a 95 on you. But I'm just looking at the video. That's just not the case. That's max effort. And I mean, he's got an audience. There's probably like, looks like 15, 20, maybe 25 people. So he's not going to. He's not even have the benefit of adrenaline.

And he's throwing off a mound. That's different from throwing off flat ground as well. There's a lot of people who showed up for this challenge. What's the what is the winner again? I don't even know. Oh, yeah. I mean, there's a line along the dugout or I guess. So, yeah, so I'm looking at now.

So he is also in front of, like, a ton of Chicago guys, Chicago locals. There's no way he is not trying to throw his fucking arm out. I mean, the Viva La Stool account literally wrote, the 91-miles-per-hour man put his title on the line at White Sox speed competition today. There's no way he's mailing it in. Jared's literally stretching right now in the studio. He's literally, I mean, you know that he woke up at 6 o'clock this morning and started throwing. Like, he was not coming into that.

Working on that shoulder strength. Yeah, he probably got like a massage. He probably overdid it. Yeah, he probably went for a massage at like some parlor, warmed up the shoulder. I mean, he's probably got like the pocket warmers in his pocket. It is, it's, what a fall from grace. What a fall from grace. So I don't know if I've

ever seen Jared this happy. Yes, I will. I will throw harder than 72. Yes, I will. When are you going to do that? We're going to find the time to do it. I mean, I'm going to be in Arizona all next week and then we're going to be in Florida. So presumably sometime after that. All right. Let's

let's take a quick break. I believe we have Bregman on the line. Oh, feed me, Bregman. Perfect timing. The worst time to step into the cage, Bregman. We'll be back after the break. We'll be back after the break. Every day before I think All right, we are back. We were just watching some more of the White Sox Day video. I didn't realize he also, he also hyped up the crowd.

Make some noise. Make some noise. I also have another source just told me that his first pitch clocked in at 69. No, we're in the sixth handle? Yes. Holy shit. Wow. It's really unraveling quick for White Sox Dave.

It's almost like he should have just kept his mouth shut or something. We got Alex Bregman also on the program right now. Let's go. The rocket is coming in hot, Alex. To get you up to speed real quick, shot or something. We got Alex Bregman also on the program right now. So the rocket is coming in hot, Alex. To get you up to speed real quick, Jared, he runs around calling himself the Rocket. He claims that he can throw very fast. This weekend,

this winter, Red Sox winter weekend, he did a speed pitch challenge. He unfortunately only clocked in at 68 miles per hour, much like a high school sophomore. No warm-up pitches and was violently hungover. Now, to continue the situation here,

we also have a guy out in Chicago who says that he can throw hard. One time he hit 91 on a speed pitch. With a running start and a crow hop. And now he just pitched off a mound, regular warm-up, and he only clocked 69. So, just to get you up to speed, there's a lot of stupidity going on here at Barstool about who can throw harder.

How are you doing? Well, I'm doing great. I'm doing great. That sounds like a lot of fun. Do you think that it's sad that Jared calls himself the Rocket and only throws 68 miles an hour? That's just not true. Anyway, we can move on to actual baseball talk.

No, I'm asking him a question. The most overblown story of all time. Alex. The two Rockets that I know and care about, really, are the Houston Rockets and the Rocket Roger Clemens. That was the worst answer of all time. So I saw your quote earlier this morning, Alex, about, I mean, it's just, you can't stop thinking about us, man. Like you got your World Series.

Who's us? Who's us? Who's us? The Red Sox. I am the Red Sox. Yeah. So you, you this morning, I saw this. You have a radio show. Okay. Continue.

And it's among other things, Alex, I'm sorry. Did you, did you not see me on the duck boat during the Red Sox world series break? Cause I can tweet you the video among the other videos that I've tweeted at you that you don't respond to Alex Bregman because you know that I'm in your head, and this quote kind of proves it. There's no other city that I would like to beat more than Boston. Why is that? Well, I'll tell you right now. If you listen to the whole podcast and the whole quote, it said,

after the Patriots winning, after the Red Sox winning, now there's the quote. And here's what I got to say. I got DMs. I got comments. I got you. I got text messages coming to my phone at 3 in the morning from people saying, you suck, go Red Sox. So, yeah, of course I want to beat the shit out of them.

Yeah, well, but that's... Now when it comes down to it, I have the most respect in the world for the players, the coaches, the front office, everything they do there. They do a first class. What about the fans? It's like everyone in the organization, great, but fuck guys like the Rocket.

Fuck the Red Sox fans. What about the fans, Alex? They know their baseball there. The fans know their baseball. They like to talk a lot of shit. Jared, that was just a long answer of telling you that he doesn't respect you. Oh, yeah. All right.

So I did see that Alex Bregman did an Instagram live and someone said, what do you think about Carabas? And Alex Bregman said, Jared likes to think that he matters. Elaborate. Well, I mean, like I do.

What I'm saying is that you act like you were in there, in the cut with the guys. I was. I was. I was there. Where were you, Jared? Where were you?

Jared, you were hanging on a duck boat. I was five rows from the field when they won it. Oh, my God. In the stands. In the stands. You were in the stands, bro. I didn't play for the team. They get to a ring in the fifth row.

They can't even get to front row seats? I mean, how much would it suck for you if I actually do get a ring, Alex Bregman? Not that much. I got one too. I know that you have one too, but that would kind of go against your whole

theory here that I don't matter. If I end up getting a World Series ring, then that kind of goes against your theory. I mean't matter. If I end up getting a World Series ring, then that kind of goes against your theory. I mean, yeah. If you get a World Series ring, we need to, like, Major League Baseball needs to, like, step in. The ticket takers get a World Series ring.

They work for the Red Sox. You do not work for the Red Sox. They don't pay me. I work for the Red Sox. They just don't pay me. There's a difference. You just work for the Red Sox. Yeah, they're part of it. They don't pay me. I work for the Red Sox. They just don't pay me. There's a difference. You just work for social media lines of greedy players. Before the playoff games. All you really do is tweet until players like you.

That's not true at all. And then you hate, and you hate, and then, like, fuck Drew Pomeranz. Well, Drew Pomeranz is with the Giants now, right? You don't have to worry about him anymore. Yeah, that's brutal, by the way. That's one of your guys that you're talking shit about. No, he, yeah, he was great sitting on a fucking folding chair in the World Series.

Real MVP. He didn't pitch a single inning in an 18-inning game. They'd rather use... What do you think of, Greg, what do you think of when a guy like the Rocket here is just going in on a dude who's actually in the show? I mean, probably exactly what everyone else that plays baseball thinks. Which is what?

Which is what? Which is what? Say it. He has no clue. He has no clue what he's talking about. Oh, I have no clue? No, Drew Pomerantz is awesome. No, Drew Pomerantz. There's an 18-inning World Series game, and Alex Coro is like, I would much rather use my next day's starter than put this bum in the game.

I don't know about baseball. I'm pretty sure that me and Alex Cora are on the same side. Don't let this guy touch the field. I don't know what's going on. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure he would rather him touch it than you. Yeah, no shit. I'm not on the team, Alex.

But you think you're on the team, right? You think. You think you say we. I mean. You just backed yourself into a corner. No, I sure didn't. You did. No, I sure didn't.

You say we, and then you just said you're not on the team, which is a whole thing. Casey, you say we about Boston Sports Team. Normally, I'm the one backing myself into the corner. I literally don't say fucking we about anybody. Not even the school that I fucking went to. So get your facts straight, Jared. I'm the one backing myself in the corner with a stupid shit I say. I literally don't say fucking we about anybody. Not even the school that I fucking went to. So get your facts straight, Jared. Normally, I'm the one backing myself in the corner saying stupid shit.

But that one, I think you backed yourself in. I get to say something. You think that I'm stupid because I don't like Drew Pomerantz? He's bad at baseball? I think he's pretty good. He's in the big leagues. Oh, Jesus. Don't give me that.

If you're a sports fan, you have the right to say that guys in the league are not that good. He was not that good. I guess you do. You have the right to say whatever you want.

Yeah, of course I do. I mean, I could probably YouTube... You probably have a highlight reel of home runs against Drew Palmer as it goes 695 feet. As a player, when someone like the Rockets... He actually owns me, I think.

I think he actually owns me. Pomerantz owns you? That's embarrassing. That's not great. You should quit. Do you ever just want to... I mean, there's guys like the Rocket all over the place. There's these know-it-alls.

There's guys talking shit. There's guys who are stirring the pot and pushing your buttons. Do you ever just want to punch someone like Rocket right in the fucking face? Is this like a promo for Rough and Rowdy? I mean, hey. You just brought it up. Not me, man. Alex Bregman versus The Rocket, Rough and Rowdy. Now I'd do numbers.

That would be two big numbers. What's your price for that? Yeah, because The Rocket's in it, I'm sure. I mean, hey. Hey, Bregman, guess what? If you fought me at Rough and Rowdy in Boston, people aren't showing up to see you, pal. That's a fact. That's right.

You guys tell them? I'm actually pretty sure they would. Yeah, they'd show up to watch you get knocked the fuck out. Six feet 180 for your boy Bregman. What are you rocking, like 5'8", 160? 5'10", 185. Okay, all right. So it's a pretty fair fight.

I mean, Bregman, you're still on that. Post-surgery, just use the left arm. You're still on that rookie contract. You could use a few more dollars, right? You could. No, you're exactly right. You're exactly right. That's why we got to do shit off the field with Barstool.

And I'm telling you right now, the way that teams aren't competing for players right now, I mean, you never know. Yo, actually, before... I know what you're going to talk about, Jared. But before we get there, when are you hitting the free agent market? And does this shit worry you where you see top-notch talent just sitting there not getting the money they thought they were going to get? Yeah, I think it's super concerning.

I'm a free agent in four years, and it's concerning that teams aren't competing. Like right now, if we sat down in a room, all of us could probably come up with the teams that are going to make the playoffs this year. And normally it's like, hey, you show up and 30 teams are competing to play in the postseason. But now it's like, hey, Red Sox, Yankees, Strohs, Indians, let's get it. Right. It's like, let's just fast forward. What's crazy is, as a Mets fan, I look at a team that they made a couple moves and they kind of are on the cusp of something potentially do have, you know, the ability to contend if they went and made that like big splash. I think they would be there and it's there for the taking and they're just not doing it.

And the Mets are always like that. But it's just like a bunch of teams that I think are in the same boat as the Mets where a Machado or a Harper or the long list of pitchers who are still available. Like those guys really could put you over the top and they're just not fucking doing it. I don't get it. It's a scary time. It's a scary time right now.

You have like Marwin Gonzalez, Dallas Keuchel. You have, you have Manny Machado, Bryce Harper. You have all these guys that are like, Craig Kimbrell, like a hundred guys, Craig Kimbrell. He's like 100 guys.

Craig Kimbrell. Yeah, he's probably the best closer. He pitched against you and you lined out to end the game? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a great play by Ben Attendee. It's a huge play. Man, that was an awesome play. Dude, hey, hey.

If he dropped it, you guys totally would have won that game. Changes the whole series. Mm-hmm. But Kimbrell's probably one of the, I'd say, top two or three toughest people to face in the game. It's just that. You know what's funny? I mean, obviously, there's some stats of Kimbrough's that are all-time,

and he obviously has the goods. But as, like, a casual fan, every time I watch Craig Kimbrough, the bases are loaded, it's a fucking tightrope walk. That's just in the playoffs. He hasn't been great in the playoffs. But as like a casual fan, every time I watch Craig Kimbrell, the bases are loaded. It's a fucking tight rope walk. That's just in the playoffs. He hasn't been great in the playoffs. That's fine. Statistically, I think through his age 30 or 31 season, whatever he's at, he has better numbers than Rivera across the

board. It's ridiculous. I think he has the lowest ERA among pitchers in the history of the game at that point. Yeah, it's like the whip, the K-9, the ERA, everything. He's just sitting there. Yeah. It's crazy.

It is insane. He's got the best fastball I've ever seen in my life. Wow. Yeah. It is pretty damn good. But you know what else is pretty good? If you actually showed up in December when you said that you were going to. He's just been waiting to say that.

You did tip a girl $500, and I said I would love to tip a girl or anyone in need of it $501 with you there. You were supposed to come, and you never showed up. What's the deal with that? Yeah, I had this thing called arm surgery. I was planning on coming to see you, but I had to get surgery and get some rehab done on it. There's alligator arms, and then there's like, oh, I can't tip someone because I can't

reach across the table because I'm in a sling or something. Is that what you're saying? Oh, no. I would gladly go there to tip somebody with you. I didn't know you needed me to be there to tip somebody, but I will gladly come. I just wanted you to see it. First of all, I just want to enjoy your company, Alex, because this is the thing.

I want to enjoy yours too, because I like how you talk shit. I like it. Yeah. I mean, well, you're going to get a lot of that this year after that quote this morning. But I think – Oh, my God. By the way, I think I'm going to spring training in a week or two,

and I think I'm doing something with Redick. I think I'm doing something with Correa. It would only make sense if we finally got together during spring training. Cool. Whatever you need. You know what? Just a little bit of your time, Alex. That's all I need.

Perfect. I can't wait, guys. Thank you for having me on. All right. What a cute little bromance brewing. I don't know if it's a rivalry. It's a bromance. It's a little bit of everything.

Good luck rehabbing. Yeah, MLB loves blowing up this whole rivalry thing for sure. Yeah. No, they do. I mean, it's just it is a rivalry now. You got one. The Red Sox got one. That's an actual rivalry if you actually go back and forth.

So this is kind of like the decisive year. I don't know. I think it might be. I mean, it's nice to have that rivalry again in baseball. Rivalries are good. Like the 2000 and 1990s, the Yankees were just running through the AL East. So it's good. Yeah. We,

I appreciate you, uh, you know, picking up the slack while the Yankees, uh, can't get the job done. So I'm happy that there's a nice, a nice rivalry in baseball with the Astros and the red Sox.

Maybe, maybe one day the Yankees can, uh, I don't know. Maybe one day you guys can get in the mix too. You fucking losers. Uh, all right,

man, we appreciate it. I love it. Keep, keep talking that mix, too. You fucking losers. All right, man. We appreciate it. Good comeback. I love it. Keep talking that shit, man. You make the game interesting. All right. See you guys. All right.

Later, Bregman. That's Alex Bregman of the Houston Astros. What a guy. What a guy. Love him. You know, I want to get an off-the-record answer from him one day, just being like, so you talk that shit because you know you're fucking nasty, right? Yeah, well, he's obviously a cocky dude.

Yeah. But it's like, you know, you don't, and he does it in a very smart way where he doesn't come across as, like, an unlikable dick about it. He's always just kind of funny about it. But you don't talk that shit unless you know you got the goods. And also, it's marketable. Like, I mean, he's, like, doing, like, he's going to make himself more money doing this shit.

Yeah, he does YouTube stuff. The first time he came on with us, he did a behind-the-scenes of when he actually called in, which is smart. He's riding in the car and saw it on Twitter. That's the thing with baseball, from a standpoint of just a sports fan, those marketable guys,

it's not the same as it is in the NBA and the NFL. So a guy like him can capitalize on being sick and marketing him. And like, if, if you're Alex Bregman, you know, you don't, you can look at a guy like Mike Trout and be like,

all right, well, yeah, Mike Trout's the best player maybe like to ever walk the face of the earth, but I'm going to be the guy who's pretty damn good. And I also tweet and I talk and I do fight rough and rowdy. Yeah.

So it's like, if Kyler Murray had won 1,000th of Alex Bregman's personality, I might be upset that he's going to the NFL, but I don't care because he's so fucking boring.

I just don't care. Well, I interviewed him at Texas A&M, so I think that he's actually very interesting. Like, I think he has a great personality. He's boring as fuck, Casey.

He's just really cocky and doesn't put in the time that's boring okay that's boring if you're so cocky that you don't give answers to dan patrick like who are you to not answer dan patrick i absolutely did not agree with the way that he did that but yeah that's boring to just and that's every interview that he did dan patrick was the one that blew up but if he's doing all these other interviews with all these other people, and he's just like, eh. Okay, and that's fine. You can feel that way, but Major League Baseball and Billy being in the Oakland A's did not feel the same

way that you do, and I'm going to take their... They wanted him to play Major League Baseball. They flew to his house. Not because he's interesting. Not because he's interesting, because it's a marketing angle to be like, we have the Heisman Trophy Award winner in Major League Baseball. Like, it's a win for baseball. Also a top ten pick, and he could be good.

Every draft board that I saw him on was in the second round. He was, though, so. Yes, but like. Somebody made that decision not yet. Correct. But every draft board had him in the second round. He's not a first round talent. That's why he's playing football. See ya. Is White Sox Dave a first round talent?

First round asshole. First round asshole. First round asshole. That's right. Big Cat. That's right, Zach. Big Cat says. That's right. Big Cat said he wants to get in the mix here.

Of course. He almost jumped on the radio thinking it was White Sox Dave. I was like, oh, it's Alex Bregman. He almost jumped into that Alex Bregman interview thinking it was White Sox Dave. Yeah. Now I see the spin zone is in full effect. It's the Barstool Chicago Moms. We're retweeting the weather.

I actually don't want to be involved in this who can throw faster or slower or whatever. Now I see the spin zone is in full effect. It's the Barstool Chicago. We're retweeting the weather. I actually don't want to be involved in this who can throw faster or slower or whatever. I just had an idea to offer up to end it because I want to get to a conclusion. First of all, it was not only cold, but it was wet and icy. I'm sure the balls were. But here's how you guys simply got to do it. And again, I'm not going to get involved. You guys can hash it out because you got a feud going.

I love White Sox. He's my guy. But he. Listen, this is what you got to do. Dan, listen. Just know. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this.

I'm tell you. You need to say a number that you can throw. If White Sox. What? Higher than. No, no. You say a number. You say I can throw 72.

And White Sox says I can say throw 73 until you get to a point and one of you says do it. And then it's it. And then you either do it or you don't. I like that. It's an auction style. You call the person's bluff. It's very simple. So you start at 68. I just pick that number randomly. You start at 68 and then White Sox Dave says I can throw 69.

Then you say I throw 70. And White Sox Dave says I can throw 71. And you get to a point until. And White Sox Dave says, I can throw 71. And you get to a point until one of you thinks that you can call the other one out. Right, OK, so say it gets to 75. Let's say it's 80. Get White Sox Dave to call up and let's do it right now. And then so if White Sox Dave throws 80, you have no rebuttal?

You have no, it's just, so if White Sox Dave throws 80, then Jared gets to even try to respond? The last time we had him on, I said he could probably throw harder than me, but then when he threw a 72, I was like, oh, it's not hard enough. Well, it was an ice rink, and it was 21. Oh, it was an ice rink. Oh, it was cold out. Fuck out of here. He's on a rampage.

You can't come in and be like, I don't want to do this, but you did it. I mean, it is a solution, though. But it is a solution because, like you said, they're probably never going to be side-by-side throwing together. Like, that's probably never going to happen. But, like, if Jared says he can throw 73. Yeah, I will throw 73.

I never said that I could, like, he throws 91. I'm never going to fucking touch that. I could probably not touch 80 now that I'm. The other thing, too, is I is i'm not like in baseball shape i said like the way that i like work out is not for being flexible no you're trying to get yoked up yeah the last yeah the last time that i pitched in a league my body was a completely different shape uh i was way skinnier way more flexible a little lincecum action yeah you think like oh like, oh, you get bigger, you get stronger, you can throw harder?

No. No, that's why when Cinderguard came in last year, fucking like 40 pounds of muscle. I was like, what are you doing, dude? You're not a football player. This is not going to help you. I put on, from probably the last time that I pitched in a league, I've probably put on 45 to 60 pounds.

Jesus Christ. And I've probably lost like 45 to 60 pounds, and I've probably lost 15 miles an hour because of it. I'm not built for pitching right now. But I'll still throw 72 or faster. This is never going to end. It's never going to end.

This happened over a month ago, and I get tweets about it every day. I get Instagram comments about it every day. Dave just tweeted, wait, I'm hearing White Sox Dave threw 72 in 69 miles per hour. Yikes. Not a good look for Chicago. Not good at all.

So that's why I'm sure Dan is going to be in full Chicago defense mode. But I do see Dan's point, though, because the whole thing was like Jared has said from the beginning, he doesn't necessarily know if he can throw faster or can throw faster than White Sox Dave. Correct. But if you came up with a number. But I know I can throw harder than 68. Right. But I think Dan's thing is like, say the number that you think that you can hit, whether that's 75, because I know that when you threw 68, that 75 was what everybody floated around. Yeah.

Like if you could throw 75 and you say, I can do that, and then you go out and do it, White Sox Dave can't say anything more to you. Sure. I think that's what Dan was trying to say. It's not necessarily like you guys go back and forth. It's more of like, okay, I know I can do this number, and then you go out and do it.

But the problem is that I think those numbers are going to be very different for these guys. They have to be on the same gun. I think Jarrah would be like, no, but it's just like, I think Jarrah would reasonably. That's a baseball field. Like, that's a legit gun that they're using today. Right.

I'm saying... Brett put a gun in my hand. I don't know what we're supposed to do with that gun. That gun sucks. Why did he bring that in? That one's not calibrated. But... Dallas...

I think Dallas has some sort of, like, sponsorship lined up with a radar gun company. So we'll use that. We'll do it. But here's the question. How is this going to end? Is it? Yeah, yeah. I'll just throw in front of a gun.

Right. But like, so you'll just throw faster than 72 now? Yes. That's like the goal. Yeah. It doesn't matter what he does from here because he'll use his excuses. But like, my excuses are not valid. A, I didn't warm up.

B, it was not a real gun. So, all right, we'll do it with a real gun and I'll throw faster than 72. You can't, there are no excuses for it. The thing that I just find funniest about all this is if White Sox Dave is being honest with himself, he knows that there's a 72 or 69 mile per

hour throw in there. Yeah. So when you see 91, why would you tout it? You have to be like, oh, that's a little... That's what I'm saying. You should not have thrown again. Right, because you're not going to throw. You're literally never going to get higher than 90. And you were never going to get close to that.

Right. You have an advantage throwing off a mound. I threw off flat ground. Like, it's harder off a mound. But even just like at the very baseline of what White Sox Dave did outside of you, it's like if you run a really fucking fast 40 at the NFL Combine, you're like shocked yourself. You're not going to run it again.

You're not going to run it again. And then the scouts are like, oh, wait, he can actually. He's like, I think I got 5'5". Fuck that. I'm trying to think of his logic right now. I can't figure it out. Did he think he was going to hit 92? Like, take Jared.

We got to get White Sox. I mean, he's the king of irrational confidence. That's why this whole thing started. But take you out of it. He's already close. He already won. He already won. I mean. 91 might as well be like 200. It's not going to get

any faster. Why try again? He should have said until anybody at Barstool throws 91, 92. I'm not doing this ever again. Because now no one cares about the 91. Everyone's like, oh shit, he threw 69, 72. I do appreciate a guy who, you know, who won't hide. Right. I mean, it's like, oh shit, he threw 69 at 72. I do appreciate a guy who, you know,

who won't hide. Right. I mean, Snapchat Steve, he had the ball and cup streak, and then he just refused to play anymore. Yeah. He did come back out, though. Right, but it took convincing because he was like, I'm just gonna, I'm already on top, which was infuriating to me, but

when you're on top, that's what White Sox Dave should have done. I just can't figure out the thought process. I believe this is White Sox Dave there on the bottom. Yeah, okay. Oh, my God. Perfect. Do we need Big Cat here?

Dave, is that you? Yeah, what's up? Well, not the radar gun. No. No. Who do I got on the phone right now? Casey, Jared, and myself. Casey, Kevin, it's a pleasure to speak to you both.

Jared, you're a bitch. This is radio. You're supposed to be interesting. Go. I mean, you guys invited me on. Aren't you supposed to be asking me the questions? I did not invite you on. Okay, I will ask the questions.

Why in the world would you take the ball and throw again after having a 91 on your resume that you knew you were not going to top? Okay, the 91 was with the crow hop. I've said it was with the crow hop. I would be low 80s under normal circumstances. Today, we were throwing on a sheet. 69. No, the cold I'm not even too worried about.

We were legitimately throwing on a sheet of ice. It was turf. It looks like a mound. Like indoor turf. There was no mound. There was dirt and like a rubber or something. Yeah, I mean, I'm looking. It looks like you were on a field on grass or turf that was cleared,

like snow had been cleared off. Yeah, they cleared it out. Yeah, it looks like a mound there. I mean, I would honestly, if I were you and it was as bad as you say, I would have said I'm not going to throw this ball. As soon as I get back to our office that Jared made fun of us about, I'm going to email the White Sox and voice my displeasure. I have an impeccable reputation to uphold.

Well, that's why I just would not have, I mean, I, you know, you got to preserve. First of all, even if, yeah, it is, I would choose not to run. If I were you, or like, did you think even, let's say great circumstances, perfect weather, perfect everything, did you think you were going to throw 92? Like, why would you throw again knowing that your number was going to be lower? Okay. With the crow hop, I would be upper 80s.

With, like, warm conditions, off a mound, I would be low 80s, like 82, 83. And that's just a fact. But you're 69. You're 69. But you can make the case that throwing 72 off a mound with warming up is way worse than 68 off flat ground with no warm up. I wasn't throwing off a mound. I didn't warm up. It's fucking freezing out, and there was a sheet of ice on top of the turf.

If I would have... I can't debate the circumstances. Let me talk to you real quick. If I was actually driving off the rubber that they gave us that wasn't nailed into the ground or anything, they just put it there, I would have ate fucking shit. You had to just go straight up

and down and use all arms. I mean, that's a fact. Damn. That sucks. I mean, if you want it, Jared, I've invited you to go come do this. You wouldn't have come close to cracking 16.8 even. If you want to do it seriously, if you want to do

it seriously, we can get a fucking real radar gun, we can find a neutral zone, and we can do it. Dave, can I ask you a question real quick can i ask you a question jared do you realize that no one cares about this besides you like you're the one that blogs about it every day and people are tired of this and the fact that like we're having a dick measuring contest over velocity is the worst like angle in Barstool sports history. No one cares. That's what I told you.

The conclusion really, there shouldn't even be another chapter. The funny conclusion is I threw 68 and you threw 69 in the end. That's the funny conclusion. There really doesn't need to be a winner here. We're both losers.

That should be the end of it. That's fine. I don't care. You were the one being a fucking baby about it and getting all personal. Dave, Dave, Dave. You blogged about it 55 times. I think I've responded to you twice. This whole thing

is the equivalent of you standing outside my house and knocking on my door for a month and a half and I've answered the door twice and been like, yeah, Dave, can I help you? And you're like, ah, how could you be so insecure? What are you doing? Why are you reacting like that? You're getting all sensitive. It's like, Dave, you talk about it every day. Every day.

The junior sent us and you, the next day went on a 10 minute rant calling me a cunt. If you would have just called me, it was good radio. You can't fucking chew gum or something. They'd be different. But you start going after, oh, you suck at your job. You suck at your job.

You fucking can't do this. You can't do that. Fuck that. That's different. White Sox, Dave, we have to hit a break in a second. I want you to hang on the line, though, if you can hang out through the break. I want to lead off our number two. I want one last conclusion here because you also were on Twitter mentioning that you wanted to write a blog about Karabas

referencing the infamous Moe takedown of Tom Zolo. So after the break, for the OG stoolies, if you remember that, that's fighting words. So we're going to lead off our number two, getting to the bottom of the White Sox-Steve Karabas rivalry, and we'll put it all to bed. Hang out through the break. We'll be back after halftime.

On State Street, that great street, I just want to say, they do things. You know that you are. They do. All right, we're back. It was cold as ice in Chicago today. And allegedly, that's why White Sox Dave threw 69 miles per hour after throwing. Well, right. But then your low for the day was 69, correct?

I got two throws. One was 69, one was 72. Okay. Now, this took a weird turn during the break, Dave, because Karabas' father and founder of this company, Dave Portnoy, has weighed in. And he he is not buying the excuse train. His tweet was, oh, no. So Dave tweeted, it was 17 degrees and I was throwing on turf with a sheet of ice on top of it that day.

And Dave said, oh, no, it's the excuse train. You said you throw 91. You threw 70. There's no excuse for that. Unfortunately, you now have no credibility. You are the new weird haircut Seth. From now on, I will refer to you as weird haircut Dave. Damn. White Sox Dave, I got to be honest, that's not good.

That's not good. I mean, Dente, I'm not concerned with Dente. Let's just leave it at that. I mean, that's a dude who can move the crowd. He can persuade the masses. You know, the guy gives a good rating in pizza, the next day the place is filled. He calls you.

Well, it may be. It could be muckraking. It could be fear-mongering. All I know is when Portnoy throws out a nickname for you and it's akin to weird haircut Seth, you got some damage control to do, I believe. Okay, I got visual proof of me throwing a 91-mile-per-hour pitch. That's not a pitch.

That's not a pitch. I've never seen a pitcher get a running start and crow hop off a mound I've never seen that before I've watched a lot of baseball The gun read 91 Okay but it wasn't a pitch We're talking about pitches Okay

Then I threw 84 on the same gun A pitcher too earlier No that was also a crow hop We have video of that Off the Mount. No, we don't. 69. Oh, yes, we do, Dave.

No, we don't. I mean, I can get video of the entire sequence, but okay, whatever floats your boat. I mean, I don't know what's going on. You were on Twitter and said you were thinking about doing a Moe takedown of Tom Zolo type of blog. Now, for people who don't know that backstory, Tom Zolo was a guy who used to work on Barstool U and the Blackout Tour, and he used to blog about music. He would post new hits that came out, and it was a lot of EDM shit.

It was a lot of, like, new age music, and I guess Moe took offense to the fact that he never, that he didn't like what Zolo considered to be great music he didn't agree with his taste and Mo wrote a very long blog basically just taking down Zolo as a guy who doesn't know anything about music

and Dave now for any OG stoolies who know that story for you to be throwing that around on Twitter that's that's some serious talk right there. Well, when I open my phone on a Monday morning and I get a tweet from like the Barstool radio account,

it says, Jared Krabis says, David Williams or White Sox Dave is the worst employee at our company. I, that that's going to fire me up. Of course. That's fair. That is fair.

Krabis, your thoughts on that? What do you mean? My thoughts? Well, I mean, you know, he says he's going to write this blog or, you know. I mean, he writes about me every day. Like, well, how is that different from any other day? Jared, you have such a, like, weird obsession with yourself. Like, I've written about.

Dave, you literally blogged about me today. Do you want, do you want me to like get someone to go back and see how many times that you've either written about me or mentioned me in one of your blogs, like over the past month, it's like, it's definitely in double digits. Okay.

Yeah. Every, almost every day. I don't have an obsession with myself. I believe you have an obsession with me. It's very weird. You're like the uncle at Christmas that told a funny joke one time, and then they just tell that joke at every single holiday

because people laugh once. That's you. But why do you target me when you guys were talking about it on the radio? Dave, you started this. And what fucking planet am I on where I target you? You blog about me every day. I just pick and choose when to respond. I don't respond every time,

but how am I supposed to respond every time you mention me? It's every day. Kate literally said it. There was that clip. I don't know what the backstory was. She walked up to you in the office and said, Jared throws 68 or whatever.

Why is it only me that you get pissed at? Dave. And then you fucking start going low blow. why is it only me that you get pissed at Dave and then you fucking start going low blow I mean I think when Kate has done her ooh I'm Corral was I like baseball and she busts his balls but I think it's much different when you guys go at each other

it's malicious from Dave it's funny from Kate it's funny from Hobbs which is why I said in the beginning you know the back story to this Chuck Neso sent the beginning... You know the backstory to this. Chuck Naso sent the picture and said, you didn't get this from me. He's a fucking double agent, that kid. He's Sales Guy Jr.

He's Chucky Potts, sir. And he said... Sales Guy Jr. He actually is on probation from Team Rocket. That's a fact. Well, he's banned from Chicago. We're on common ground right now. He's in the middle. But he sent me that.

I didn't go looking on the internet. I was told from the guy that Dave Portnoy, the founder of the company, said is the best. Dave, Dave, I'm not saying that you didn't, that you didn't. When you got it the first time, you got it from Chuck. Wait, wait, wait. I gotta to interrupt both of you real quick.

I'm sorry to do this, Dave, but we have Portnoy on the line. So I got to get him while he's still on hold. I don't want to cut you off. I'm going to put you on hold. And I can't put both calls on at the same time, unfortunately. So I'll come back to you, White Sox, Dave. El Presidente joins the program now. Dave, I can see on

Twitter that you are fully up to speed on what has unfolded here with the speed pitch. You have given him a new nickname. You are, you're not taking it. It's no holds barred right now on Weird Haircut Dave. I'm stunned, but yeah, so I wait. White Sox Dave, we don't have

the technology, so he's not on the phone. He can't hear me. Let me just, well, he can hear right now. He could hear you. He could hear. Try to put both of them on. Let me see if I push this. Maybe you both can be on at the same time.

Hang on. No, fuck. Shit. Did we just lose Dave? Yep. Yep. All right. Fuck.

Let me just text Dave. I. Yep. All right. Fuck. Let me just text Dave. I'll have him call back. What a day. This is chaos. I mean, you definitely didn't come into this radio show, Jared, thinking this was going to happen. You were just excited to yell at Bregman. I mean, what a fucking twist. I came into the office being like, oh, wow, I'm finally going to get to have my day in court with Alex Bregman.

Then this falls into my lap. I mean, literally, we had Alex Bregman on for like 20 minutes, and no one's talking about that. We're talking about a fucking weird haircut day. Alright, Dave, you back? Yep, I'm here. Dave, you there? Yeah. Okay, go ahead.

So, it was White Sox Dave. So, he can hear you, but he can't respond. So, say what you got to say, and then I'll bring him back in. I just caught wind where we came from, which I have at our hotel, and I caught wind about what's up, Dave, throwing 72 and 68. I actually want to talk to him. I would have called him. He just happened to be on this program.

I would talk to him at any point. This is, to me, worse maybe than weird haircut Seth saying he could throw football to the yard. Wow. Wait, now that's some serious talk right there, Dave. Hold on one second. Dave, you played baseball in high school, so you know that it's probably worse to throw 69 off of a mound with warm-up pitches than it is to throw 68 off flat ground with no warm-up pitches. And listen, I've never heard Jared throw out what he threw.

White Sox Dave, since I've known him, has built his reputation on he throws low 90s to 70s. That is weird. That's saying you throw football 50 yards. It's only 20. It's the exact same thing. White Sox Dave, his days may be over a part. He is now a joke. I want to see how he's

going to respond to that because that is how I know White Sox Dave. When I introduce him, not I like him, but when I meet people like, oh, we opened the Chicago office, we have Eddie, he's a funny bearish guy, we have White Sox Dave, he throws 91. Now that is like what he's built himself as. And, he throws 91. Now that is like what he's built himself as.

And now he throws 70. I'm at a loss. And I actually want to ask him. I saw he's on ice. I was like, fine. But again, that would be like, oh, it's a cold day. So weird, Eric, because Seth only threw the ball 50 yards instead of 60. But you can't be that far off.

You can't. Right. No matter what the circumstances are to drop 20 miles per hour, it means that you're 91. You basically have to throw out a whole lot. 91 is a college to a major league fastball. 70, you don't pitch in high school. So we are apples and oranges,

and unfortunately, White's up a Dave has just stepped back his brand and the entire Chicago office like it. I want to see if Eddie would comment. This is really bad. And I wanted to talk to Dave and be like, how are you even looking yourself in the mirror? I give him credit for even going on the radio. I would not have shown my face.

I would have faked an arm injury and said, like, you tore your ligament. He has the control. It's too late. He didn't control the story. Well, wait. So this is devastating for him. I think we have him on the line. Okay.

So now we have both. Dave, both Daves can hear and talk to each other. Dante, I have visual proof. It was with the cro-hop of me. Are you cutting out? So different than weird haircut Seth. He said he could do something, and he didn't do it. I never said I was going to throw 91 today.

All you bloggers are throwing 91 your whole life. And I have visual proof of the gun reading 91. And I could probably go see the phone. At this I mean, at this point, everything is in question. Your entire existence is in question now, White Sox. You don't see that? 70? You're 70? 72.

And 69. There was 70 people there, so 65-70, and four people cracked 70 today. Well, those other people are running around saying they threw 90. Except I did throw 90. I have visual proof.

But do you see that, Dave, when the discrepancy is 20 miles per hour, it's not like you threw 80 and it's like, oh, well, something happened. You slipped. There's almost no circumstances that's going to make you drop 20 miles per hour. I was 84 off the speed pitch this summer. Today I was throwing on a fucking ice. Do you have a disease? All right, can we hang up on Vente, please?

I don't think so, Dave. I don't think we're going to hang up on him now. I mean, I'm in the middle of the party war, but what I'm saying, I'm not even, I had no dog in the fight. This is a bad look for everybody. It's like, oh, those guys, the weird haircut stuff, and weird haircut Dave. They just, oh, they throw off these steps. I can't do anything.

I mean, I'm going to have to start training and, like, re-approve myself then. Yeah, I think so. That would be a good idea. I think that's all you can do. Yeah, it's probably smart. Yeah, I mean, this is – Is that all you got to say, Bette?

What? Okay. All right. First of all, if Jared Krabis would have accepted the invite out here for this, and you said, we are going to do this, we're going to make this some of the best content ever on the radio show the next day or whatever it was after his 68, you said we were going to set it up.

I emailed you, and I cc'd Krabis, and you didn't respond, Bente. So he could have been out here too, throwing in here. Well, I mean, I would like for that to happen there's no doubt i'd like to get you two uh mediocre fastballs together and see what happens no doubt about that having a meatball fest i'd love to see it i think you could do it i think people can bet on it or whatever so i'm on that i'm not that. So I just can't believe that you threw that flop after all I've heard since you've existed in my mind. I knew as soon as I got to the middle. Once I got there, I knew I was like, I'm fucked.

I don't know if I'm cutting out. I'm not cutting out because you're cutting out. Well, we'll leave it there. The call dropped. I mean, boy, what a turn of events. Are they both off the call dropped I mean boy what a turn of events are they both off the line? I think so oh you're still there Dave's still there okay

I mean listen I think this has spiraled a little bit out of control I think it's gotten away from you here Dave I feel like it's no longer even a thing with Jared now you gotta face the big dog big kahuna here is talking about your reputation. So I don't know what – you said you might start training. Is that the move?

If I have to, I will. Do you think you – let me ask you. Do you think you have to? I mean, no, not really. I mean, kind of. I mean, he's – no not really i i mean kind of i mean it was dude please tell me i'm not in fucking banana land right now and anybody i i'm guessing casey was the best athlete at this table by far and away have you ever tried doing anything in 15 degree weather oh god no i have i'm also from texas though so

that's the thing it's like true like I never had to do anything like that. But here's my thing, Dave. If that was me, I would never have thrown that ball. I will say that. I would have woken up. I would have saw that there's a polar vortex, and I would have said, no fucking shot. There's only – I only can lose here.

I have everything to lose and nothing to gain. You can lose no matter what. So why did you throw? No, because that's where you're not. I'm not a pussy who didn't throw. No, you're not thinking like Barstool. You got to spin zone this. You got to come up with your angle.

You got to say, you know what? No, fuck this. The only way I'm doing it is right in front of Karabas' face. I don't even want it to be on video. I'm not allowed to do that because then he'll go on the radio calling me a cunt and saying I suck at my job. I don't even want it to be on video. I'm not allowed to do that because then he'll go on the radio calling me a cunt and saying I suck at my job. I don't say that anymore. Dave, I don't use that word anymore.

He said when he got hired that he can't write about anything but baseball, which is the exact same thing I'm in. I have to find stories that are like, not baseball. I don't know anything about anything other than baseball. It's kind of tough having to block five, seven times a day. I feel like that at this point, you're going to have to just throw closer to 90 to get everybody off your back. And I know you say that you didn't throw,

like you'd throw in the high eighties. Like that's what you need to do because I just, I definitely would not have thrown today. Like, I don't care. I would have made up an excuse. It's like running, rerunning the 40 at the combine. If you run like a four, four, well four well right but like now you have it on the gun that you didn't throw 91 wherein you did have that that's the whole thing with portnoy is like he knew you could throw 91 now he knows that you threw 72 so you're gonna have to do something to prove that like what would be worse let me ask you this will be worse the the? The backlash from, hey, I'm an excuse guy, or being dubbed weird haircut Dave for the rest of your time?

I could not care less about Dente's nickname. Wow. Not less about it. Okay. As soon as I saw people start throwing, it was literally a rubber mound that was just laying on the turf. There was nothing. I mean, not that Jared was throwing off of a fucking mound or anything,

but it was wet turf in 17-degree weather. They brushed the snow off of it. It was like ice. How are you supposed to get any driver leveraged behind a pitch like that? Sad. Like, Carl was a Division I pitcher. He got clocked at 86 at the tryout video we did last summer, and he threw 73 or 74 or something, some ridiculous too low number.

That was off the mound. So none of you guys can throw hard. I can't distinguish who's fucking talking right now. All right. Well, I think we've run our course here anyway. It'll be, you know, I think we've run our course here anyway. I'll be waiting with bated breath to see what the next move is from not only White Sox Dave or Weird Haircut Dave, but the Chicago office. You guys are, you know, regroup and we'll see what comes next, you know?

All right. I gotta go. I gotta go do my job that Jared thinks I do so poorly. But I will catch you guys later. All right. Get after it, bud. And we'll see what's what's next. We stroll along together, holding hands, walking all alone. It's Valentine's Day here on Clancy and the Rockets. Depression is in the air. Bitterness and pettiness abound. But shout out to everybody who's in love. Shout out.

Everybody who's going to get that good, good tonight. Everybody who's eating good. Afternoon delight even maybe. Maybe as Tommy Smokes would say, maybe a nooner. Fit in a nooner. Yeah. Tommy Smokes called? No, he says Tommy Smokes has Tommy thoughts. Oh, yeah, yeah.

His new thing is that he tries to schedule meetings at noon so that he can say, like, we've got a nooner. Oh. He's a fucking weirdo. He really is. I thought he was talking about having sex at noon. No, I hope not. I was like, I hope not.

I hope that nobody's ever fucked Tommy Smokes at noon. I hope that nobody's ever fucked Tommy Smokes at noon. I hope that nobody's ever fucked Tommy Smokes at any time. I was going to say, yeah, I feel like that would be a weird experience. What do you think Tommy Smokes dirty talk sounds like? Imagine if Tommy just threw down. Imagine he's choking girls, flipping them over,

throwing them around, super aggressive. He's got a red room of pain. You walk up in his place and there's whips and chains. When you try and think of certain things and you draw a blank, Tommy Smokes' sex talk is one of those things for me. It's like there's a glitch in the Matrix. It's just short circuits.

My brain just stops. I mean, Tommy doesn't fuck you. Tommy gets fucked. Yeah, no doubt. I mean, Tommy gets pegged, for sure. Yeah. I'd like to go on record and say I did not say that. Tommy.

Is he out there? Is he out there? He has to be. Right here next to me. Tommy! Tommy! I would love to. Tommy, what are you doing for Valentine's Day, bro?

He's coming in. Tommy, come sit down, homie. I want just like one. You sexy little thing He's coming in. Tommy, come sit down, homie. I want just like one... You sexy little thing. Come on in. I want one first-hand account of like a sexual experience that Tommy smokes.

You've been doing ASMR and whatnot. We were thinking about what would Dirty Talk with Tommy Smokes sound like? Yeah. And it's a... The look on his face

right now is just not... All I heard was one... I forget who it was. It was just like, Tommy gets fucked or something. Yeah. Yeah. What do you got for Valentine's Day, bud?

So I'm thinking about, I was talking to Riggs and a couple other guys, you know, maybe. Oh, wait. By the way, when Tommy does this with his hands, you know, we're in class from together. You know that he's about to drop some shit on you. I don't know if that's true. But, you know, I was talking to Riggs, some other guys, maybe we'll go by the Ainsworth, you know, to help out. Yo, straight up.

If you are a single guy right now in this city, and you do not go to the Ainsworth tonight, because the Ellie Mafia is out. They're ready. Toe fuck! And they're probably going to be crying and crazy, but they will be out. That thought hadn't even crossed my mind. Of course not.

It was strictly for support. Yep. I feel you. I absolutely get it. Are you actually going, Tommy? I'm considering it. I would go if I have my kids tonight. If I didn't, I would go. I really would. It makes sense. Not even because the shnit heads are going to be out and looking, but I think it's going to be a good time.

Yeah, I agree. That's the only reason I'm going. So you, Riggs, and who? I don't know. I don't know. There has to be at least three of us to go. I'd agree with that. You gotta roll with three. You can't do two. It's 5.30 to 8.30, so we finish radio at 6. Time we get there. Swing by.

Yeah, swing by. Hey, what's up? Just supporting. Get a drink or two. That's it. Just support. Brilliant. Brilliant. Anyways, what's like a standard sexual experience for Tommy Smokes like? Below average

probably. We're all below average. What's like the routine? You got a routine obviously. You gotta move. Give a move. What's your move? Like during? Yeah. How do you set it up? I mean, Instagram is helpful. Yeah. Tommy Smokes has the keys to the castle. Yeah, he does. He's got mean, Instagram is helpful. Yeah. Yeah.

Tommy Spokes has the keys to the castle. Yeah, he does. He's got the Smoke Show account. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, no, I don't misuse that. That's work. Right. But that's, I mean, people forget I launched.

You're the vape guy. I launched my entire, like, I want Instagram followers account. That's right. Yeah. And now for no reason, but like I went on instagram is journey to get a whole scene huh i gotta get into instagram i think i don't that's where it all goes down these days posting a lot of stories on instagram is good too well it just it's just naturally for both people but yeah for both people i don't know it just gives something to respond to you know what i mean it's like oh wow lol and whatever you know what I mean? It's like, oh, wow, LOL, whatever.

You say something stupid, but now it's on. Your words. Is there anybody? I feel like everybody here is single. There's some married guys, but you run up and down the cubes. It's like what you do on Valentine's Day. Everyone's like, I don't know if I'm going to. There's people that are in couples.

I couldn't picture Tommy with a girlfriend. No offense. I'm not saying that you couldn't have one. It's just like, I feel like you need to be like a free-flowing.

No, I agree. I, you know, young, you know, just seeing what's out there. Are you on the lookout for one? Like a serious girl? Yeah.

No. What about just any sort of girl? What if you met the right girl? Well, you never know. I mean, but I, you know, I mean, but you see what happens. You see what life throws at you and you adjust. Right now, let's say you go out with a girl a couple times. You hook up.

Things are good. You like her. She likes you. And she was like, after a little while, I was like, I want to be your girlfriend. Would you be like, no, I'm like. Yeah, I know. If I liked her. You're open to it.

Yeah, I'm open to anything. Okay. Whoa. So the getting fucked is on the table. No. I have your side on this, Tommy. What do you mean on the table? Yep, on the table.

That's where it goes down. Yeah, it is. Yep. Wait, what? Yeah, it's over your head, Casey. You said he, did you just talk about him getting pegged? Isn't that what you're talking about? Yeah, he said it's on the table.

Oh, no. That's why I'm standing up for you. What do you mean it's over my head? I didn't know what that was about. Tommy looked at me like, why would you stand up for me on this? I'm like, I feel like... You need to be stood up for. I felt like I was doing you a solid favor. No, thank you. I now understand.

Alright, just making sure. Do you have any advice? We've been talking through what a good Valentine's Day date, gift, plan would entail i feel like tommy smokes might actually be uh i could see you putting in putting in like work into a plan like some details and no no it's basically just on his face i mean i guess if you had like a girlfriend you'd just get get her like flowers. You're so romantic. So original.

I actually think of that stuff as like, this is going to sound bad. Like, I never would do those things for, because I really liked the girl. I always kind of just took it as like a challenge. What's the challenge? Like, whatever, like, I'm going to come up with a good gift a good presentation a cute way to like you know surprise her or whatever you know what i mean yeah and i would just think of it as like i'm gonna blow this i'm gonna blow her socks off not even because i'm like oh i love her so much i want to be happy i just want to be like this is other guys are trying to do the same thing i'm

just gonna do it better than everybody else i yeah she just ends up getting you in trouble because then the bar is set too high yeah yeah that's the thing is like you can't set the bar too high especially in the first year you set the bar too high, especially in the first year. You set the bar too high in the first year, and then that second year, third year, they're like, well, you used to do all this stuff for me, and now you don't. You just don't love me as much now. Correct. But the honeymoon

phase is important to throw out your best game, though. Yeah, I feel like you gotta empty the tank, kind of. Because everybody should just understand that, yes, a couple years into it, I don't love you as much. It's a different kind of because everybody should just understand that yes a couple years into it I don't love you as much it's like the bar is going to diminish so don't hold that against me

I have to finish cutting my smoke shows video it's coming out at 3 o'clock unless you guys have anything else for me because I need my next Instagram post I did have that one question we have like Trey edits like he does a great job with the twitter like and the website one it's like three minutes and then i i sit down i'm like i

have to get this perfect for one second yeah do you think babe that's that's where it goes before you leave tommy yeah what what type of dirty talk you throwing out there like in part i mean i don't i try i'm not good at it. You're silent during sex. Well, no, that's not. I thought you meant like sexting. No, no, no. Like in the act, the physical act of intercourse. Yeah. Yeah.

Ooh. No, I don't. I think Tommy's probably like, you little slut. Yeah. You kinky little slut. I think you let her decide. Oh, I don't know if that's true. Well, I never said know if that's true.

That was a very diplomatic response from Tommy. Yeah, I guess. What are you doing, Rocket? I mean, I don't have sex, Tommy. Get out of here. You were not ready for that question from Tommy. I mean, you were like bullying him, and then he bullied you right back, and you had no answer.

I don't think he bullied me back. I mean, he definitely did. You had to come bullied you right back and you had no answer. I don't think he bullied me back. I mean, he definitely did. You had to come with something like, you had to have an answer there. Like, he basically answered you. He was like, I let her dictate it. You're like, oh, no, you can't do that. He's like, well, then what are you doing? You're like.

I don't have sex. You should have come over the top there and been like. Yeah. I say. He just. He bodied you just now. I don't know. I think we throw that term around too liberally.

I mean, you literally, like Tommy rendered you speechless when you were trying to bully him into answering something i don't have sexual intercourse shut up i feel like you probably say some depraved shit in there what do you think i say i finish up and it's like yeah it's like you i look i'm like i'm like kind of looking like yeah we could you know that was a heat of the moment thing right you liked it i like it but we can go back to being normal humans now hey you know what though at least you're not sending random valentine's day cards to strangers oh my god with this sex dungeon talk listen you put out your blog yesterday i did i blogged it last night and then i put it back up today because valentine's day because i was gonna just wait till today because valentine's day is

always a good time to do this but gaz went ahead and tweeted it out i got the single weirdest piece of physical mail yesterday sent to headquarters which obviously makes me feel better they don't have my home address i get weird dms dms are different animal this this was something this says casey in the past year you're one of barstool's best hires nice thank you prettiest and talented. Even though you will probably be tied up in someone's sex slave basement if you cared to get a coffee after an F session and finally seeing sunlight after three

days from that layer. Spelled layer wrong. At me in the DMs. Quote, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Name 23 and me. In fairness, he didn't say his sex dungeon he said a sex that's the problem that's the that's the blog that i wrote you did i mean you did we did talk about that house with the sex dungeon yeah you made it clear that you were very much interested in that

room for sure there's no doubt about that i'm not saying that he just threw out the i mean i wrote that in the blog i was like i i'm realized that we've been talking about some weird things like not only on cck but with kfc radio in atlanta however the part that i have a problem with is you want to be the dude afterwards that was the whole thing like that's what i blogged it was like if you're gonna shoot your shot on a random ass topic you know like no i think this is just realism i think he's being realistic that's like casey sm Smith is probably getting fucked by some other guy, but I would like to also. I would like to be involved in that scene in addition to. No, I do. Obviously, he's playing off of what we did,

which is like the whole point of the blog. If I had, I really thought my safety was at bay. I wouldn't have blogged it. I just feel like if you're going to shoot your shot and you're going to go out and buy a $5 American greetings car with a cute puppy on the front which shout out cute puppies obviously i love dogs like you're you should want to be like the main guy right like i get it i mean it's shooting pretty low it's like that's what i'm saying like aim higher like it is realistic but i can you imagine if i was like you know what yeah i'll let you know whenever i and i

have just come out of this sex basement that you think I'm going to be in he even mentioned there you've not seen sunlight like that literally it's like I know that you're about to just get banged out for like three days in some random basement but can I buy you a skinny latte from Starbucks afterwards was any part of you flattered by this obviously come on

it's flattering of course it is and it was very nice like the compliment was very nice and it's flattering yes but course it is. And it was very nice. The compliment was very nice. And it's flattering, yes. But obviously, anything that is sent to Barstool, I assume they want to be content. I really do. I don't think that anybody sends stuff to headquarters and assumes that it's going to be not.

So that's why the blog came out. But yeah, of course it's flattering. But also, aim higher. Aim higher. Aim higher. What does that mean? Did you listen to anything Kevin and I just talked about? The fact that he was like, I know that you're with some other dude in a sex dungeon but I want to get you

a coffee. He wants to be second. That's literally what we were just talking about. He didn't want to be the guy in the sex dungeon. He didn't want to be the guy that was making me not see sunlight for three days. He wants to go buy me a latte afterwards. Yeah, that's romantic. How in the world is that romantic?

All right, Casey, you need to get off your high horse and appreciate chivalry when you see it. Who says chivalry is dead? This guy is being very polite. No, the chivalry would be like, hey, let me save you from this sex dungeon. Why don't I take you to the Amalfi Coast? What a hero.

What a hero. No. We got Nick who sent Casey a Valentine's Day card. Oh, shit. Nick, are you the creeper? Listen, let's just get this straight. I just want to say, Casey, thank you for not putting my Twitter handle out. I appreciate that.

You're very welcome. I'm. For the record right now, bro, we do have your phone number. I am cringing right now. I'm cringing. Not because of you. I feel like I'm being put on blast. So continue.

Continue. No, no, no. Listen, I just don't want my name out there, if that's cool. That's fine. The whole card thing. Um, it was only a $5 card. Like you understand that as a joke, right? Like not really like a real shot.

Like I know you have guys like probably want to take you out on dates and buy you shit. Like how do I think a $5 bullshit card is going to get like in your pants? Do you want the real answer to that? Sure. Do you want the real answer to that? Sure I didn't actually think that you wanted to get in my pants I thought that it was really funny That someone went out to fucking Dwayne Reed And bought a $4.99 American Greetings card

And sent that I didn't actually think that you were trying to get in my pants If you were, bad move by you Well, no, obviously I honestly thought I read the blog and I thought you were going to roast me a lot more than you did. You actually took it pretty easy.

Yeah, I mean, I wasn't trying to burn your whole life down. Otherwise, I would have put your Twitter handle on there, bro. I thought it was funny. Well, I mean, she said it best. Usually people are doing these things for content. You want it to get on the site or you want it to get exposure. If you didn't want your name out there, but you didn't actually give it an honest shot

to try to get her, what was the point of doing it? Right? Yeah, like I... You're kind of stuck in no man's land. Had I responded to that and been like, yeah, actually I really want to go on a date with you, you'd probably be singing a different tune at this point. I also noticed you didn't put your real name,

you just put your Twitter handle. So my assumption was that you wanted to be content. No, definitely didn't want to be content. I thought you were just going to like send me a DM and be like, Oh, good try. Or that, you know, that stuff. Oh, sure. So you thought that was going to be like the personal hookup? Like, Oh wow, you were so funny. And now I just want to privately like date you and marry you. Definitely didn't think I was that funny because obviously I didn't do a very good job at making her laugh.

No, you did. Actually, you did because I blogged about it. Because honestly, like, it's... Nick, I'm thinking you got a shot, bro. She was gushing about it. I think you should shoot it right now. Why don't you ask Casey out right now? Because I think you got a shot.

Well, Casey, Casey Smith, I live pretty close to New York City so if you do want to get a cup of coffee, minus the whole other sex dungeon thing, but if you did just want to get a cup of coffee and no sex dungeon...

Nick, let me tell you something right now. Do you listen to the show regularly? Pretty regularly, yeah. When I'm in my car. Yeah, so... Okay, so a couple days ago, we were actually talking about a sex dungeon, and Casey was very into it.

So I don't know if you should take that off the table. It might be something that you could use to your advantage. I think Casey, sex dungeon, very much in play. Yeah. So the reason I said after the sex dungeon was I thought talking about bringing Casey to a sex dungeon would be even more stalkerish. Yeah, I guess. But what if, plot twist, it's something that she's really into and now she's attracted to you because you brought up the idea of a sex dungeon?

Well, I guess that makes sense. I'm asking if you can follow through. Yes or no? Do you have access to a sex dungeon? Because what I just said is that she actually is into that stuff. Well, I can contact Kate and see where that Pennsylvania house is, and maybe we can stay for a weekend. Okay, perfect.

I will accept as long as Jared and Kevin can come as my chaperones. Oh, no, I don't want to be there. Well, that's the only way I'm going. I'd love to hear about it. I would be the worst chaperone ever. I'd be like, do it, Nick. Do it. Do it. Do it.

That's the thing. I feel like, first of all, I do think that it was a good funny move. I knew you obviously listened to the show. Had it not been funny, I wouldn't have blogged about it. We get shit here every day that's not funny. So we just don't do anything with it. But I will accept your date

to coffee if Kevin and Jared can come with me. And it's going to be on camera. And it's going to be on camera. And it's going to be content. We'll go, but we won't sit at the same table. No, no. Separate booth. Okay, you guys have to come, and it has to be on camera.

Yeah, but not at the same table. Not at the same table. Not even with an earshot. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. I will go if it is with Kevin and Jared. They don't have to sit at the table, but they have to be next to us and it's for content.

We're not going to be within earshot. Well, then we're not going. We will be there for physical safety. I'm not going to stifle this guy's game. Hold on a second. Nick, nobody can get game with someone breathing down their neck. I'm going to be completely honest. I'm accepting the state for Hold on a second. Nick, nobody can... Hold on a second. There's nothing worse than trying to spit game knowing that other people are listening and judging. I'm going to be completely honest.

I'm accepting this date for content, not because I'm like... Right, but the good content will come out of Nick being comfortable I don't even know what this guy looks like, how old he is, though. I don't know how old he is. I don't know what he does. I don't know anything.

How fat and gross are you? Give us a height and weight. Height and weight, I'm 5'11", 190. Oh, you're good. Oh, he's in good shape. Is this guy hot? What if he's hot? Yeah, and weight, I'm 5'11", 190. Oh, you're good. Oh, he's in good shape. Is this guy hot? What if he's hot? Yeah, I mean,

what a modern day love story. I'm going to be completely honest, I didn't look up the Twitter handle because when I got the card, Nick, are you hot? Um, I would say...

You know if you're hot. I'm probably like 8.5. Oh, shit! 8.5 is high. He's got some confidence on him, too. I'm saying I will go if Kevin and Jared can go and BC can go to vlog it. I mean, 8.5 is as hot as normal people get.

Yeah, that's pretty good looking. I don't want it to make it feel like you have a secret service. You know what I'm saying? That's what I'm trying to say. I want it to be. But, Casey, you'll be there. And I'm not worried that this guy is going to, like, hurt my, hurt my I'm not worried about my safety at this point We'll be able to see you

I don't want to hear you Like your safety You know what we'll do? Remember that MTV show where you had You had a earpiece and we would be over there We could hear what's going on We could feed you lines if need be Maybe we'll do that for Nick

Actually that would be really funny. I don't know what you guys are saying. I don't know if he's saying it or if Kevin's saying it or Jared's saying it. Bring up Texas oil rigs, bro. She loves them. Don't do that, Nick. Yes, you do. I mean, like I said, I will accept this as long as the two of them can go and it can all

be on camera. We will do it, but I'm just saying we will be like several tables away. We can see you, but we can't hear you. I will be able to see you. I'll be able to jump in if you pull out a knife, and that's about it. It's not necessarily for security. That's more for how funny it is. We should pat him down when he gets there. I actually don't even care. Whatever. You're just okay.

She's a big girl from Texas. She's probably got a gun on her. She can handle herself. I'll give him some mace. Hey, Nick, are you going to bring chaperones? Because, I mean, you might need some safety, too. Yeah. Well, she's in the sex dungeon. I really don't think I need safety, right? That's true.

You don't need safety. You just need a safe word. That's all you need. You know, so, like, I did not think this phone call was going to go this way, but I'm actually thinking it came out on top. Yeah. Bro, if you're a true 8.5 and you're going to get this date, I think you definitely came out on top. Yeah. Bro, if you're a true 8.5 and you're going to get this date, I think you definitely came out on top.

He's getting a date with the fucked up threesome of us, though. It's not like I'm just like, hey, I'm going to go on a date with a stranger and I have no idea what he looks like because he sent me a card. But like I said, oh, yes. He's like, listen, bitch. I'm the alpha male here.

Let's alpha me for a second. Let's go. What do you have to say? How about we do this kind of like a, like Liz does like a wine walk. Like BC will stand in front of us and we'll walk and talk and we'll hang out. That way you're out in public too. It's safe. Yeah.

That's not a bad idea. As long as Kevin and Jared are in the background. We and Jared will be doing our own romantic stroll about 50 yards away. Yeah. We'll be in the trees. All right. So then it's settled. You're going to go on a walk through Madison Square Park.

Imagine this dude is just walking through a park with Casey, and he just has a red dot on his forehead the whole time. Try it. We do have Marines. Whenever Chaps and I, we were all at the Army-Navy game, Chaps was pointing out where all the snipers were, and I was like, I knew I needed you around. He could look at me, he'd see that, there's a sniper.

This guy's going to reach for his phone and just pow! Kate, Chaps, and Cons can be hiding in the trees at Madison Square Park. Kevin and Jared can be behind us, and it's all on camera. You've got his Twitter, right? I support the troops, it's all good. All right, Nick, I think you just got yourself a date, bro. Hell yeah, Nick. This is the very first episode of a Barstool Bachelorette.

That's what we're doing right here. It's a date with, like, an asterisk, because it's not like I'm like, hey, like, pick me up at 8. It'll be like, stop being a sex engine. It'll be a date. Go into this with an open mind. This is not going to set a precedent either, Nick. Like, if this works, I'm just saying. What if this guy's a true 8.5?

Modern day love story. A Barstool love story. Nick, how old are you? 25. 25? All right, yeah, well, you know. Not usually into younger guys, but, you know. Casey, open mind.

Open mind. Just keep it open. You never know. Found love in a hopeless place. So, I mean, you know, harass her on the internet until this gets done, right, bro? Yeah, I'll tell BC. I'll send him a DM. And if you guys actually want to do it, we'll set it up.

Yep, perfect. He'll be the Chris Harrison of this bitch. And I'd also like to point out, to give you a confidence booster, as you're heading out to your day or the weekend, had that note card whatever been boring or just the worst you would have never gotten the blog and you'd have never been on the air with us right now so you know what i call it be proud of yourself that's a head start yeah you are you are already you are coming in with like something to lose now of all the stuff that we

get on a daily basis it was important enough to me for me to blog it. Casey just gave me big dick energy for the weekend. There you go. You're an eight and a half and you got big dick energy? Forget about this date with Casey. You just go hide yourself

a weekend, bud. Yeah, fuck this weekend up. Live it up. Live it up. Get out of here, Nick. It's a good call. He's about to be a one-woman man

for the rest of his life after this fucking date. What, with me? Pull up his Twitter. I want to see if he's actually I don't know what his Twitter handle is. I don't have the You have a card, Casey. You think I'm carrying your card around with me? Pull up his Twitter. I want to see if he's actually... I don't know what his Twitter handle is. I don't have the...

You have a card, Casey. You think I'm carrying your card around with me like it's in my shirt right now or something? I don't know if you do. You might have that like hanging over your bed by now. It's true. I don't. Did he like spray his cologne on the card?

Because if not, that was a big miss. Did he? No. You don't know that? I don't know. I didn't like smell the card. To be completely honest with you, I... That's a rocket move, by the way.

Write that down. I feel like people do that. Like, girls spray, like, their perfume on stuff like that. Yeah, girls do it. Do guys? My boyfriend in junior high used to put Curve all over everything. Okay, well, that was awesome. Say that again?

My boyfriend in junior high used to put Curve all over everything. It's a junior high boyfriend. Oh, I do have the card. You're coming at me now? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, shit. Kevin.

Kevin. I mean, I got a couple bowls of wine in me. The picture of the card doesn't, I like legitimately cut his Twitter handle out. Well, I have his phone number so you can just text him directly.

You can start texting with him as the show ends. You should just fire off a dude real quick. No, I'm not going to do that. What's his name, Nick? Nick, yeah. I'm rooting for Nick.

I remember his Twitter. He seemed, after the card made it seem weird, hearing him on the phone made him seem super normal. No, but see, here's the thing. Like, honestly. He's like a Barstool fan. I'm going for Nick. I remember his Twitter. He seemed, after, like, the card made it seem weird. Hearing him on the phone made him seem super normal. No, but see, here's the thing. Like, honestly. He's like a Barstool fan. If he's PC, I'm going to fucking sell him.

He listens to the show on the reg. He knows about, like, different other Barstool programming. He knows who PC is and what he does. It's not like he's a random dude that just obsesses over Casey. Casey's going to fuck this guy. Yeah. That's a wild prediction. I'm 100% serious.

Like, during the date. I'm 100% serious. In the park. Oh, on camera? Oh, on camera? You said it's for content. It's all for content. You said you want to get your instant followers up. We'll still be in his ear.

Fire off a sex tape with a stranger? Kim Kardashian, heard of her? Have I? I've already said if a sex tape or nudes got leaked out accidentally for most girls, that helps them. For most girls. Unless it's like a cheating situation or whatever. I remember his Twitter handle

being a little bit like one of those really crazy ones with numbers and letters and whatever. But I stand by the fact that if you guys know this, we get sent shit here all the time. We get boring shit all the time. We just throw it away. He got my attention. Gaz tweeted it. I blogged it.

We're talking about it right now. It obviously worked in some form or fashion. Talk to the phone now. Listen, this all plays perfectly for the group chat because I feel like this would be something that you and the girls would definitely talk about. I see that transition, Kevin. Wow. So what we're going to do here, we're going to ride out for the rest of the episode here,

episode one of the group chat. It's Casey plus Alex and Sophia from Call Her Daddy. here episode one of the group chat it's casey plus alex and sophia from call me call her daddy and uh it's everything that girls would talk about in the group chat so i watched a little bit very uh informative on like if you're stuck in no man's land in a relationship you're hooking up but you're not in a full relationship what do you do for valentine's day i saw there was some mean tweets in there that guy called you fat. That other guy said that Sophia has a big, fat, loose pussy. He did.

And that Alex has more plastic in her than the Pacific Ocean. So there was some good roasting going on. There was also a lot of Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper talk, as in, like, they want them to stop. There was some if you want to. What? There was, like, some iPad cheating stuff. I mean, a lot of stuff going on.

Yep. A lot of relatable stuff going down in the group chat. So we'll wrap up today here with Alex, Sophia, and Casey doing their thing. And we'll be back. The fucked up threesome of Barstool. Going on dates now. Yep. On Monday.

Same time, same place. Get it, Nick. 1 o'clock. Shout out to Nick. Have yourself a weekend. Drink your bowl of wine. Drink your bowl of wine. Drink your bowl of wine. Eat your McDonald's fries.

Keep growing out that hair, babe. Your hair looks great today. It's amazing how much drinking just helps everything. Get a little buzz on. Grow your hair out. Make fun of Casey. It's my life in a nutshell. Group chat coming up next.

See you guys on Monday. We'll see you guys on Monday.