KFC Radio - Nate Bargatze, Adam Brody, Bill Burr on SNL, Lebron is the GOAT, and The C**t-Clapper 9000

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

Subscribe, Rate, and Leave a Review! -Bill Burr's Opening Monologue on SNL -Feits had a terrible experience with a cashier at CVS -Lebron has become the GOAT -Top 5 Fall Albums -Voicemails include waking up with hives, money in the ocean, and breaking the stigma -The Podcast is Over (01:22:00) Nate Bargatze returns to the show! We swap stories with Nate about the "easy a" courses we failed in college, starting a podcast, he tells us about the hard work that goes into making a comedy hour, and much more. (2:05:30) Adam Brody returns to the show! We discuss his new movie The Kid Detective (coming out this Friday), getting to make a passion project, his guest appearance on new girl, we play Answer the Internet, and more! Let us know what you think on twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @Feitsbarstool @NateBargatze @HandleBrody Subscribe for daily clips: Youtube.com/c/KFCRadioYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. End it. It's over. Interview's done! I'm not talking about the episode I'm talking about the podcast It's over

It's another edition of KFC Radio On the Barstool Sports Network. We are laughing at the Bill Burr skits from SNL right now. I feel like lost in all the fucking hoopla. Is there outrage? Are you outraged? Should there be outrage? Is there argue about the outrage? It's just like, it's fucking funny.

There's some funny fucking skits and some very good moments that SNL has not had for a long time. And I know the monologue is what everybody talks about because it's right off the top and then it gets put on social but the skits i thought were were the better and more noteworthy either just because they were funnier or those were the controversial uh bits i thought but either way i mean more juice for snl than i mean i can't remember a guest that did did did numbers like there did

like attention like this. I don't know what the ratings were. Turns out having hilarious people host a show is very good. Having legendary comics who are also actors come on a show where you're doing comedy and acting, it's a good decision. Who knew? It's pretty smart. Yeah. It gets you

juice no matter what. I thought the monologue was good. I didn't think it was burr's best because obviously it's not and that's not an insult because it's catered to nbc it's catered to uh you know like television and and broadcast television where you can't you can't say everything i can't believe that anyone found it controversial it's but you can i i can but i can I can but I can't you gotta know at this point I watched it and it was funny I loved it

I enjoyed it there was no part of it where I was like oh he went there and I don't think you fucking have to I don't think that's like you don't have to go there you don't have to fucking

he doesn't go there to go there for the sake of going there right no if he goes there it's something he believes or something that's funny like his one of my favorite birth skits is not skits bits um is when he's talking about why can't you ask what happened like what'd you do once like a man beats a woman and there had to be a reason and he's like yeah yeah i get it there are some guys who come home and they're like the tone is not ready and he fucking beats the shit out of her he's like bury them under the fucking prison he's like but other times what do you say he goes some extreme example because firefighters don't show up to a house and go well well, okay, it burned down.

And that's it. They go, what happened? Why just? And you're like, that's how he went there. That's how. Yeah. Because he acknowledges it. I mean, it's on his special.

Yeah. And he's like, I can feel you all pulling back. Why? Why can't you go? What happened? Yeah. Why? Why?

He's like, do you think Chris Brown really just started beating the shit out of Rihanna in the front seat for no reason? And it's not that there's. It's not that it's a valid reason, but there's a reason. It doesn't mean it's a good reason. He didn't just fucking suck a bunch of air. Oh, my God. That's like. We're going to get canceled.

That's always the burr I think of. Yeah. Holy shit. Again, I don't want to be kidding. It's like, that's always the burr I think of. Yeah, holy shit. Again, I don't want to be kidding, I'm not thinking he's gone soft or anything like that. It's just, you know, he had a seven minute bit for NBC. And on Live TV. It's you more. When he said that white women usually fuck black guys and then claim it's not contextual, that was special.

That was special. The rest of it was very timely and topical and all that shit. But then just being like, white women usually sleep with black guys. And then say it was against the will. I was like, what? That, it was all a lot for TV. And it was a lot for the SNL crowd. And that's the initial reaction, I think, was the SNL crowd, which is like, who the fuck are you? Who are the people who are like the SNL crowd and that's the initial reaction I think was the SNL crowd which is like who the fuck are you who are the people who are like the SNL every week you get the same I don't know 10 20,000 100,000 whatever the fucking number is my dad your dad yes he watches it every week I don't

know if it's weekly because you know what it is there's a very small intersection of people who are old enough and lame enough to still be like, SNL's on, I gotta watch it. Who stay up? Yeah, well, that's the other thing, too. I don't think he said, it was a thing when I was a kid. And granted, it was a different era of SNL. I mean, there was a time where it was like, every night you're gonna get Sandler, Foley,

like everybody, you know? It was like, I was allowed to stay up late on Saturdays. Because you're witnessing entertainment greatness. So I could watch SNL with him. And we both, it was one of our things. Yeah, yeah the bruins the red sox right and we like snl right and that's like it's a shame that it's like not that it's funny i go back and forth like like when we talked about shane gillis and he was like yeah no i would have liked to be on saturday night live and if you get that gig uh it's a big deal and for bill burr he was like it's a dream of

mine to host this so there still is some level of clout it's not like deal. And for Bill Burr, he was like, it's a dream of mine to host this. So there still is some level of clout. It's not like something you turn down, but it is something if it goes poorly or if you lose the job like Shane Gillis or whatever happens, it's like, well, it doesn't really matter anyway. You know, it's a very strange thing that's still prestigious,

but also has like no impact. It has... Not like, not a like long lasting impact. I would, yeah. Like that guy, that guy we just saw. It has... Not a long-lasting impact. I would... Yeah. I can't even think of the last person. That guy we just saw. They used to regularly make skits into movies. Yeah, right.

Into big-budget movies. Didn't they do that with MacGruber? And it was like, come on, you know? But MacGruber actually I hear is hilarious. I've never seen it. The people who have seen MacGruber love MacGruber. This guy... I think it's Glenn something Beck.

You can kind of see him there. You know that one? Definitely not Glenn Beck. Yeah, it's Glenn Something Beck You can kind of see him there You know that one? Definitely not Glenn Beck I don't think it's definitely not But Glenn Beck is Glenn Beck I think his name is Something Beck Whatever He's a funny guy But he to me is like SNL right now

It's just like He's funny He's talented But like You're not going to go see a movie of his You're not going to remember it You're not going to tell your kids about it I almost think Colin Jost is even more of a SNL.

DJ being NBC Sports' boss, and he always calls him a weatherman. Just like the way he looks. What does that mean? He's like, it means he has good hair and really nothing else. That's funny. He's going to say that. But when you

grew up on that era, like Bill Burr probably did, and then you get asked to host it, you're probably like, fuck, yeah. And I think he went in there with a stick of dynamite and was like, we're going to fuck this shit up. Like I don't even know how – I would love to talk to him. Maybe he's doing something soon enough that we can get him back in there that he's going to promote to be like, was there even – did you try to write something else that was like truly sanitary and then you were like fuck this was there ever even even an attempt to be like i'm gonna do some cookie cutter nbc channel four jokes i think his answer would be that but see like for him and maybe he thinks that way but like i knew as that as that act was going on i was like before i looked at it i had not read anything i just woke up i saw that he was on snl and i watched it so i was not influenced by anything yet and i was like this

is gonna be a problem this is gonna be a problem see i've never thought that when as soon as he was talking about like white women hijacked and you and and i think i could kind of tell by the crowd oh the crowd being like you just saw bill burr it was like this is a problem no no no once i like heard his material because i was i was interested as he walked out and realized they gave him the mic and it was like, oh, he's going to do stand-up for his monologue, which makes total sense, because what else would he do? But I was like, how is he going to do this? I'm interested to see.

And he did a Bill Burr. I said he did like 90%. He didn't curse, and he probably toned it down a little bit. Yeah, probably. But I don't like to say it like that, bit you know i think yeah probably but but i also i don't i don't like to say it like that because i don't think he toned it down to the point of like neutering himself i think he just kind of was like no but like he would have talked about all those you're like

he could have done 10 more minutes on that i don't yes i don't think he changed topics because of i think he probably told like two jokes and then moved on when he would have told four and the last two would have been like but i don't think he like neutered himself so i he he changed his act but he didn't like do a different act and i wonder if there was like a plan a that was like let me do some jokes about like the fucking weather and shit and then it was like i can't do this i have to do something that's like kind of like me and then people i mean if you if bill burr does even 10 percent of bill burr there are going to be people who have a problem with it and then people i mean if bill burr does even 10 of bill burr there are going to be people who have a problem with it and then he has so many fans that they all kind of swooped

in and now now if you look at it it's all like even or even in bill burr's favor that most people like shut the fuck up um but that initial wave of like you know what i can't stand i've decided uh if you if you tell me or anybody that they're a white cis male, the cis thing really bothers me. We're not going to get along if you use cis in like your regular conversation. I don't think that's fair. Programming note. Turns out I didn't really know the definition of cis. So we do this entire argument assuming that cis means that you are a male or a female who has heterosexual sex.

And it turns out that it means that you're just a person who identifies as the gender you were born with. But same shit. It's like I'm getting in trouble because I'm a man and I identify as a man. Now I can't have an opinion if I'm not trans. I mean Jesus Christ on the cross. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah, we're ignorant and sound stupid, but same basic shit. Why?

Because it's like just because you fuck the norm is now a negative. I don't think it's a negative. I have no idea what it means, but I also don't care when someone says it. Yeah, it means like you're a straight guy. You have sex with women. You're a straight woman. You have sex with guys, and you're normal, cis, sexual, or whatever. So it's a different version of straight. Yes, it's just like hetero. But if someone were to use it in a derogatory sense, like why is this white, straight male telling me this?

And the fact that then they use cis is what drives me crazy. If you actually use that word, like you said, you're like, I don't even know what it means. I think normal people are like, it's not even in their vocabulary. I think once that's worked your way, its way into your average conversation, you can take it to the bank. I'm probably going to hate you for that.

And just a bunch of other reasons. I see what you're saying. You're that type of person. I'm going to hate your guts. And I largely agree where like, you're definitely a certain kind of person. Yeah. Like, I don't think it's ever used, like.

In a good way. Like, look at this fucking. Cis guy. Cis guy fucking a woman. Cisco. Yeah. Never. That's what I mean.

It's always going to be a negative. And it's always going to be like, you're picking a fight with me because I fuck women. Right. And I. But also. When I hear it, I'm just like. Okay. Well, that's'm just like, okay. Well, that's everything you hear, though.

Well, no, it's also because you're a straight white man, and things have been pretty fucking good for us. It's pretty hard to insult us. Yeah, but all right. You know what? The white guy, I can understand. The cis thing is what drives me crazy. See, yeah, but that's trying to insult you, and you're letting it happen. You can just be like, yeah, no.

Well, I know their intent. They are trying to insult me. It's not trying to insult you and you're letting it happen. Well, I know their intent. They are trying to insult you. It's not trying to insult you. Again, I don't know the origin of the word. I don't know where it comes from. It is largely used as like a put down.

And then... I don't think you can put me down because of that, but I know that you're trying to do that, so I hate your guts. Yeah, I'm with you on that. There are much better ways to put me down than to be like, this guy fucks women. This guy is hetero. Come on! I can't get in trouble for everything.

There's plenty of things to get me in trouble for, which is what I thought was funny about SNL. I thought, if they went after Bill Burr for the Blitz skit, where they were just like, it was very funny and very well done, but openly turning a broadcast about police brutality, a police brutality killing into a comedy skit.

I thought they would have much more of a leg to stand on. Then they focused on the monologue and it was like, I think the monologue was actually pretty well balanced. He was like, he had people of colors back. He was making fun of masks, no masks masks like as balanced as bill burr is gonna get if they went after that skit i think they would have had more of an argument of like yeah this was was that a live skit or was that um that was a live what yeah like as opposed to like

that where yeah yeah no that was like a live yeah okay and i mean it was so fucking funny and it was i mean very like a like on point like you know the funniest things are always like truthful where it was like boy a guy in a spot like that wouldn't know what if you didn't watch it it was like he was he was uh it was like a shannon sharp and skip bayless type show he plays skip bayless and he's super excited about the game and the other guy was keenan and he was like oh i didn't watch the game because there was a police killing last night and bill burr is like wants to just crawl in a hole and die because he didn't know and like it hit on the awkwardness of white people trying to like how do we handle this or like not being in touch enough and all that shit and that to me was way

funnier and way more notable as far as like we all we went there. And no one's talking about that. I've only heard about the monologue and then the pumpkin ale. And the pumpkin ale, nobody's really saying anything bad about. That was just funny. That was SNL, the pumpkin ale. It was like, it's a funny, you know,

cliche type of joke, whatever. But the rest, I thought it was, there were other things that they could have gone in on. But the beauty of it all is like Bill Burr, whether that went amazing for Bill Burr or bad for Bill Burr or controversial for Bill Burr. Your thoughts, John? We got, I mean, Frank's just gonna... Write the tank to the office.

This is just gonna be what happens. Frank the Tank, I call him Full-Time Tank. He's FTT. He's here, and he... We're recording podcasts while Frank just screams for... He's an absolute menace. I can't imagine what he's doing right outside our studio. He stood...

He got kicked out of your Stoolstream's Jenga game because the booth went into Spider's ear, and they're got he got kicked out of your uh stool streams jenga game because the the booth went into spider's ear and they're like get him out of there get him out of there get him off the fucking i mean he just stood there he came into my like after my game and he just stood there for the uh like the post game interview and he just stood he didn't he didn't like offer anything he wasn't he was just like a it was like a spectator like he bought a ticket and then he just stayed through your entire game until spider kicked him out and now he's screaming at the top of his lungs he talked about monday night football commentators for like 15 20 minutes in the middle of your soldier full-time full-time full-time employee why is he just

screaming right now i i mean i would imagine that was i thought i hear a tumble so that was somebody had to lose jenga. No. No? Jenga's done. I was the last person. There's not Jenga happening. I think he's just playing by himself. Zach, can you run in there and find out if that's what's happening?

If Tank is just screaming because he was playing solo Jenga, I mean, that's full time. That's what you get for full time. Tank, here's a full-time offer. What'd you do on day one? Oh, I played Jenga by myself. Are there cameras on? Heaven help us. That's Frank's roommate.

You probably don't know this at all. This might make your blood boil. So Dave was telling the story of how he hired Tank and Tank called him up and was like dude I can't do this anymore this job at the courthouse is just killing me like you know apparently all you gotta do is just

cry to Dave tell Dave you don't like your job and Dave is like alright Tank how much you make at the court and Tank tells him and he's like alright we'll pay you that. You can come over full time. And Tank goes, oh, no, no, no. I mean, I need more than that.

And he starts to fucking hardball negotiate him. Dave said he was like, I would have thought like a lateral move into like get rid of like your misery would have been like good enough. But I found myself, he was like, predictably found myself in a tank negotiation, much like, uh, the one on the big brain where he, I don't know if you know about that one. They,

like he asked for like a million dollars and Dave was like, so you need a million dollars. And tank was like, if that, or he said like, at least that's our, that's our full time coworker along with another fat guy who yelled at the TV from Mississippi. Yeah, now two of those.

Full-time co-workers. I blame you for this, by the way. What? Yeah. What? What? It's a Mets thing, so I just blame you. Oh, that makes sense.

But that was never, like, Dave was from Jump Street. Like, I love the viral video. By the way, he has not stopped yelling. I don't think the mics are picking it up. He has not stopped yelling. I don't think the mics are picking it up. He has not stopped yelling. He's still just screaming. How symbolic. Like, we're sitting here having a conversation about, like,

a literal, like, comedy greatness, Bill Burr, and it just gets derailed by Frank Fleming just screaming about nothing. That's, that is very still symbolic of Barstool. Just constant noise. Screaming. Constant noise. You know how I described him as like when you're at the aquarium and you see like a fucking whale float by when he walks by. Today, Jared, Jared, like expanded upon that and said that he's like the hundred and eighty five year old tortoises.

Yeah. Are so old and slow and float around, and everyone backs away, like, let the tortoise go by, because he's 200 years old. That's our full-time co-worker. He was talking about today, he was listening to John Belushi on Monday Night Football. What? And I was just like, Frank, how old are you?

Yeah, how? And he's like, I'm 40. He's Dave's age. That's insane. Yeah, he's like 41 or something like that, right? No, I think he's mid-40s. So he's a little older than Dave. He said he hasn't shaved his mustache in like 27 years.

I was like, what did you have a mustache when you were like 14? How about this? I didn't even know Frank had a mustache. that is a level of fatness and non-descriptness that i've never heard in my life a man that you have seen many times in person and on camera i asked you if you had if he had one of, if not the most, defining facial feature, and you did not. I had no clue Frank had a mustache. That is the funniest thing that I've ever heard. Zach did it again. that is so fucking funny that is like that is like how how can one man be so memorable yet so so forgettable you guys will skin Frank has. I'm not sure.

Purple. He is purple. Frank, what race are you? Purple. He is Grimace, whatever, from fucking McDonald's. Holy moly, Frank Fleming. Full time. Full time.

Frank Fleming. You think that Frank uses Roman? Yeah. Yeah, I think Frank would probably need some Roman. We all do. That's the thing. We all do. Everybody could last a little bit longer in bed. Everybody can use some Roman swipes to get their dick game up, to make their sex game

last longer. Frank Fleming, myself, you, whether you could be girls buying it for your man. Actually, I don't know if you're if you if your girl gives you roman swipes are you taking that as you know what i gotta fucking i'm gonna interrupt this ad read we're to keep going with the ad read real quick okay okay so i keep roman swipes literally bedside yeah and by bedside i mean i have sheets that are – they have pockets on the side of them.

So I have – At the ready. At the ready. Roman, two tins, and a weed pen. That is life. You know what that is? That should be like this is 30. That's it right there.

My dick needs to work better. I need weed to sleep at night, and I've got some sort of addiction. And then before the weed hits, before it really starts working, I'm going to have a dip before bed. That is beautiful. That is beautiful, man. Also, can we just also go further? Because I've wondered what people think about the pockets, right? Yeah, I mean, that sounds brilliant.

I don't think I've ever encountered it, but it's. This is my first time ever seeing it. Is it for this reason? It's like, it's like. Oh, no. They're pockets. There's one on each side. On my side, her side.

They're pockets. And it's just like. In case you, what, don't have a bedside table or something. I guess. And right now we actually don't because we're still getting stuff for our room. Or you can't fit it maybe or whatever. That's smart. It's pretty sick.

Even when I get a bed sheet table? It's much like the phone holder pillow. Excuse me? Yeah. Remember that Nick gave us the phone case pillow? Yes. I don't know what it is.

That is... I have three of them under my desk right now, I think. I don't know what it is. I think that the obnoxious American way, I think, can be summed up best by infomercial products. Where it's just like, have you ever thought of a thing? You can have it for three installments of $12.99. It's just like, I guess I need this. This mentally ill six-year-old old designed it and now we sell it right

I guess you could use this but uh not really but you know a lot of those things actually do are like do you need pockets in your sheets it's like not really but I'll fuck with it you know but the phone case holder pillow thing I have yet to crack my brain I'm either too stupid for that

or that is they are on another level Kevin I brain, I'm either too stupid for that or that is on another level. Kevin, I assure you you're not too stupid for the phone pillow. That could have been a thing actually in like 1996 when I was going to sleep with my crush and I was like, hey baby, if you need to talk on the phone.

People don't talk on phones anymore. People don't talk to each other anymore. Even if you did that, it's a plastic case so your face, it you need to talk on the phone. And then you can put there. Yeah. People don't talk on phones anymore. No. People don't talk to each other anymore. Even if you did that, it's a plastic case, so your face, you know, that needs to be like a breathable thing. I don't know. You wake up in the morning, that thing's permanently attached to you. Yeah, that's it. Your skin has grown over.

It's like the people who get shot, and it's like, yeah, this bullet's just in me. What was it? Was it a Bond movie where the bullet is like still moving in his brain? And like, he's got... Yeah, it's like going closer to the medulla oblongata and like it's gonna two years left I'm becoming an evil villain that was absurd that was maybe

the best ever so and the whole thing was like who would it start Charlie Sheen's ex-wife what's her name Denise Richards Denise Richards and they're just like moving like fucking big bullets in a submarine the whole thing that That was Prima. Awesome.

Amazing movie. Great movie. That's such a final Berg movie right there. You got to write a movie one day. We got to make that happen. We got to get some producer to be like, lock him in a room with a tin and a weed pen and some fucking dick swipes and let him write. I wouldn't be able to do it with that.

I need like people in there talking to me. Yeah. Yeah. I don't. I would just sit there with my brain off. Oh, I got it. Let me finish up Roman. My question, if a girl gave you Roman swipes,

would you just take that as constructive criticism and like, hey, let's fuck longer or would you be like, oh, yikes. No, I think you should too. It's like a girl bringing toys into bed, right? Yeah, I don't think people are self-conscious about that anymore. I was going to say, if you're self-conscious about your girl wanting to use toys and if you are self-conscious about that anymore. I would hope not, because I was going to say,

if you're self-conscious about your girl wanting to use toys, and if you're self-conscious about your girl being like, fuck me for longer with these, then you're a fucking loser. You want me to put that in your ass? Sure. Fine, yeah. You want me to put my dick in you longer? Yeah, let's go. So if you've got a problem with that, the problem's with you, not with her. Roman swipes, they're easy and effective. You rub them on your dick, they make you last longer in bed.

Desensitizes it, but makes you last longer while still getting to enjoy it yourself. it doesn't affect her or him at all and they're just five bucks when you go to get roman.com slash kfc that's five bucks for a whole set of swipes when you go to get roman.com slash kfc and a reminder we never say this but all of our sponsors are what keep this show going so please give it a a visit, sign up, and help out the show. Again, I literally keep them on me. In the bed. I keep that motherfucking thang on me.

I got his dick swipes ready. So I've been hacked. Oh? My Spotify. Oh. Amongst everything else. I am the most hacked man in America. My banking hacked.

My social media hacked. My phone hacked. I mean, I'm always hacked. Email hacked. But my Spotify, I think, because... Well, let me just show you. Yeah, let me see your dick. When I... What?

What? What'd you say? Why'd he say that? Why'd you say let me see your dick? It was a joke that you've been hacked. Oh, oh, like there's my dick on the phone. Got it. I was like, what? Okay.

Look at, these are my recent. It's a bad joke, clearly, but I thought it was pretty good. I've been hacked, I'll show you. That was a bad, I was a bad audience. I was the SNL audience. They were Bill Burr. It was everybody. Fuck all of you.

Yeah, so then it was a bad joke. If it's one person, Nick laughed. You laughed? All right, never mind. Then fuck you and Zach. So these are my recent. So like, Take It So My Downfall has been like all that I've listened to. And the rest, look at all those.

They are. I don't know what these are. Exactly. Let me play them for you. Let me play you an example of what my, what has been hacked and plays on my phone constantly. And let me tell you why I don't have a problem with it. It's just instrumentals like this. That's kind of fire.

Yeah. It's very peaceful. It's very relaxing. It's like very, this is actually a little bit too much to be honest. Soaring. Let's see soaring. Grown and sexy.

They're all these like jazzy laid back kind of like no no words just like peaceful music and they just i'll be listening to mgk and it'll just change and i'm like oh fuck like my must have like my pocket yeah and then i'm like nope it was locked i was on the phone with you last night and And all of a sudden I'm hearing music. And I thought you had music on in the background. And I was like, this is kind of annoying that he's like blasting music while calling me. And then I was like, it's my phone. I mean, there's also three of us on speakerphone yelling.

I'm sure it was very annoying for you either way. But someone has hacked my Spotify. Some broke bitch out there who can't afford the premium, I guess. And they're just, every time I listen to music, they're just changing the song. And that changes right away. Apparently. Maybe I'm wrong. When someone has your Netflix, you can both watch a show.

Yeah. I think Netflix has three people at one time watching on a channel. I mean, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe my shit is haunted. Maybe, I don't know, my Spotify just changes on me automatically. Is that a thing, Nick? So this happened to me recently, but I think you just added a playlist to your queue. And now every time you're listening, it's up in a song.

I promise you I didn't do that. I did it on accident. It took me like 30 minutes to figure out. But all of it just happening, though? Like in the middle of a song. It's not like a song ends. And it's just like in the middle of a song, it'll turn on. As if someone was like, nope, we're listening to this now, bro.

Sorry. Yeah, I don't know about that. Yeah, because you know how you can see what other people are listening to on Spotify? You can follow them. So I think it is just like a real-time thing. So I think somebody who likes instrumental jazzy music has hacked my Spotify. And I'm not mad at them. I think it is.

It's a good person. What's the worst app you could have hacked? Well, let me tell you from experience. Your iMessage if we're gonna call that an app that is the worst that is for sure the worst twitter is also the worst instagram terrible all the things where you are communicating with other people the worst i don't i don't have like dms like that i know that's why you don't have DMs like that. I know. That's why you don't care. But for the rest of the goddamn world...

If you hacked my Instagram right now, you would see an overly gushes text DM to Rob McElhaney. Actually, that's a lie. I don't know why I'm downplaying it. I fucking sent him an awesome DM. And then DMs with Ravi Patel about just the picture. I just DMed Ravi Patel about just the picture.

I just DMed Ravi Patel a picture of him on Sunny. And he was just like, yeah, that's me. Correct. Correct. And then it would just be whoever's tagging me in stories that I follow. You are the most boring man on private social media. Impossibly boring. Behind the scenes, yeah.

You are the most boring man in the world. In turn, that makes you the most interesting man in the world. Like your line about your DMs. What goes on in your DMs is not your business. It's so impossibly boring that it's fascinating. I'm like, wait a minute. That's incredible. It's blowing my brain.

Except from, again, the ones you send are yours. Instagram, you have to know, obviously. So Twitter you can have them blocked, which I have, unless I follow you. And then on Instagram it is – the only ones that pop up are people who you're friends with. And then you get the plus 99. Right.

And then you can go in there and that's the other world. Yeah. That shit's none of my business. What people think about me is none of my business. Can we put that on a shirt? That's too wordy for a shirt. It's too wordy for a shirt. We need to put it on like a thing, a mug or a fucking something.

Like something that like girls, you know, eat, pray, love or home is where the heart is or whatever. What people think of me is none of my business. We need to find the right product to put that on it because it's brilliant. I did that even when I was a kid. That would save your life if people would subscribe to that. People were like, yo, did you hear what so-and-so said about you?

No. Don't care. Don't care. Don't want to know. Again, I understand I'm the weird person. I don't want to pretend like, yeah. You're the weird person, but you are what people should aspire to be and to be like. I swear to God.

I know. I say this about you all the time. This is going to be my best man speech one day, that you would never say it about yourself, and probably nobody else would think it either. But I aspire to be like you in so many ways because you have this kind of totally backwards way of thinking that should be the forwards way of thinking. Our boy Giannis Pappas, you follow him on Twitter? He goes hard on Twitter.

I don't follow Giannis on Twitter. For a guy who's just like, you know, when we see him, he's like, what's up? I used to put my mom's pantyhose on on Twitter. He's like getting deep and shit. But he was talking about. He had like a 10 tweet thread where I was just like, all right, it's over. We're out. Well, this was about like content creators.

Wait, no, I might follow him back because he followed me. At the time, he hadn't followed me yet. Oh, that gets you an unfollow. So I was like, fuck you. I was quick to the unfollow. If someone follows you, you mute them. Yeah. I think I followed him back because he followed me.

He was talking about entertainers. And I mean, this is quite is quite you know he got off the thesaurus on this one but uh i've been nothing but autistic narcissist bipolar megalomaniac sociopaths and charlatans and entertainment remember that anytime you see any one of us disgusting fake entertainers tweet there's nothing there's nothing more inorganic than engineering your personality to be liked by complete strangers and he goes on and on but i think that's really true like and And I've heard you say this before, where it's like, if you don't like me,

that's okay. You know what I mean? You just don't like who I am. If we were doing a character and you didn't like the character, maybe we can, yeah. But it's like, I am myself. You don't like that.

There's nothing I can do. So you don't like me. You don't listen. You don't watch. Whatever it is what it is. And I think more people- And I get it, too. I understand why. I don't like me. So you're not fucking surprising me when you say you don't like you don't watch whatever it is what it is and i think i get it too i understand why i don't like me so you're not fucking surprising me when you say you don't right yeah

so my focus group has said that's why what's gonna happen extrapolate that and that's what the general public's gonna say but i think that like the people who are always out there striving to be beloved by everyone, it's funny because the public, they love those people, right? But in reality, they are kind of like the fakest. They're engineering everything. I think having a good dose of haters, if you're in the public eye, not if you're just a normal person. You probably shouldn't have swaths of people who hate you.

But if you're in the public eye doing something. You know fucking Rick down at the CVS? By the way, I had an interaction with duane reed yesterday that was infuriating oh i kept this motherfucker i walked out with me my girlfriend we're in there together we were actually getting supplies and stuff because we thought we were having people over that night we didn't um and uh and we get in there, and the guy announced. He just ran up on stage, and it was his first joke. And he was just like, you think I could write the fly-in on a ballot?

And I said, oh, my God. Yes. And he went, how do you think I could write the fly-in? I said, at the write-in portion of the blog. And he's like, I think that just a fly is just a perfect... And I was like, bro, just... I'm getting Doritos and trash bags.

Can you just fucking bring those two things up? And he kept going on. I forget. He was, like, referencing like, fucking Jack Kerouac or something like that about, like, the fly on the road or some shit. And I was like, bro, just ring up the fucking flex seals and let me get the

fuck out of here that was some Dennis Reynolds shit like if he caught you on the wrong day he might have been slaughtered he might have killed a man I would bludgeon you to death I walked out and just I looked at my girlfriend I went I didn't enjoy that at all.

Arguably, arguably worst thing in the world. In the world. People who are not funny are full time. Who think they are funny and do it in a way that just like, I can't get away from this. I can't get away from this and you're going to do this whole act and I can't stop this from happening. The worst. The worst. The worst. I mean, it was, again, I was ringing up, or he was ringing up two things.

I sat there for not an extensive period of time, but longer than you needed to. Four to five minutes. Yeah, it should have been 90 seconds max. That's pretty long. Yeah. And I just listened to this guy's fucking rude hard five about fucking the fly. It was all about the fly. The fly wasn't funny.

I don't know. The fly was funny for 16 seconds. Let's say it happened at 8.46. By 8.50, it wasn't funny anymore. Certainly four or five days after the fact. Now I'm on Sunday night. Come on. Come on.

I think the debate was Tuesday. We were talking almost a week. Sunday, you're giving me your fucking prime fly material. No. Bro, I am fucking. I just went to the market Now I'm doing Dwayne Reed I gotta stop at the liquor store in a second Just let me the fuck out of your face

Let me out of your face I'm begging to get out of your face bro I'm begging Alright Before John blows a fucking gasket Over this random person And Dwayne Reed if that person goes missing or ends up dead, it was John. It was me and I'll find you.

We got to talk LeBron, who is just the fucking best. The GOAT. And it's not close. And if you fucking doubt it, I have personally seen over 10 basketball games in my life. So don't fucking question when I know something. LeBron James is the greatest basketball player of all time.

There's not a question about it. I've seen more than 10, and I actually think I'm at the point where I agree with you. It's just crazy for me because I don't think... I never was a full LeBron hater, mostly because Dave took it so far and I always felt the need to like balance Dave out so I found myself sometimes arguing for him even when I didn't want to be arguing for him but then eventually I wanted to argue for him I did used to like like I do think you get knocked a little bit for for chasing a

ring it's not you shouldn't but you do it just is what it is fans want to see you like stick with the team and beat the best rather than join the best. I don't agree with fans. I think fans are stupid people. They are. They are. But it is what it is. That is going to be a mark on your resume except when you just keep doing it.

I think Kevin Durant needs to win outside of the Warriors for him to really be cemented. He's cemented. He's fine. But if you really want to get nitpicky about it we talk about the goat and all that shit he's got to show that he can do it without Steph and Clay and joining up on a winner already gotta build a winner you know and then if he did it again he does it with the Nets then he has to go to another team and do it again that's what LeBron does and I think at some point the idea of bouncing around goes from a negative to a positive where it's like well well, everywhere I go, championships follow.

And yes, he needs help. And yes, other people need to. Miami, he went to a super team. But when he went back to Cleveland, it wasn't. He went to LA. It wasn't. And made them that. And granted, they do it.

They orchestrate it. But it's like all you need to do. I said this a couple weeks ago. He is the process. You don't need to build and draft and da-da-da-da. Take everybody. Trade. get me one other guy and I will bring you a championship. That's it. He just trades young talent.

Okay, give him executive of the year too then. That's what you do. Name him MVP and name him GM of the year. You think that fucking Lonzo Ball and Brandon Ingram and whoever else was in that fucking package would have won them a title? No. So he comes and he says, you don't need to worry about draft picks anymore. You don't need to worry about even rounding out a starting five

just give me one other guy and fucking jr smith just keep giving me jr smith because i like the way he celebrates he takes his shirt off i mean at what point do you say that like it's actually i mean if he ever somehow it's very unlikely but if he ever could do it for another if he went to a fourth place somehow i mean fucking forget it but the fact that he's done it for three and i got i'm totally hand up because when he went to la the first time they were so bad and i was thinking like this is just like a pre-retirement like they're so bad he wants to make space jam and do uninterrupted and just be on the west coast because he's wrapping it up and it was just like nope no title again i'm still gonna do it incredible like everyone was sucking jimmy butler's dick for playing 47 to 48 minutes, which they should have.

He played unbelievable that game. I think that's actually a rather iconic photo, that one of him just like on the fucking – Yeah, just gassed. Just gassed. Just done. Yeah. And LeBron just does it every night. He just keeps going.

He does it again. I've done that for 20 years, dude. But like Jimmy Butler, in a closeout game, he puts up like 12 and 5. It's like LeBron does that, and then he does it again and again and again. I mean, he shot 65%. Every year I'm going to do this. Every day I'm going to do this. And like no sign of slowing down.

I would say a little bit of a sign of slowing down. This was the first time that I think people are going to be like – I mean, people have always said this about him. It was Kyrie who won it. It was this person who won it. It was Wade. Oh, people said he was Wade's – Yeah, yeah.

But this time I feel like Anthony Davis probably was the, I mean it's crazy to say because I think he put up multiple triple doubles, but I think Anthony Davis was more like the premier player. But that's like, I mean, in your 17th fucking year, I think that's okay. You know what I mean? And it's like 1-1-A. So maybe like a little

sign of slowing down, but I mean if he keeps going, if he ends up with like five, if he can get to five, and he's done with three teams, and that would be like 11 or 12 finals, disgusting. I can't

possibly fathom someone who argues against him. I know, it's nuts. I think that he is also, I mean, he is still, personality wise, he still does do things that's just like, that's kind of cringey, dude. But that's probably the product of being on fucking Sports Illustrated when you're 16 years old. It just can't be normal.

But I think that's coming back around where it's like could you imagine being so good and yet you find yourself in a no-win situation with probably the majority of NBA fans? People who are like – if the Heat were to win that, it would have been like, LeBron choked, the Heat pulled off the greatest upset ever, what an unbelievable title. And when he wins it, it's automatically, well, it was the bubble, it doesn't count. He is the most damned if you do, damned if you don't player ever.

And I think he learned to accept that, and he was just like, okay, whatever. I'm just going to go do my thing. And that is the most admirable thing ever in modern sports. Very freeing when you realize that. I used to say he needs to be the villain and i think it's it's neither he's not the hero he's not the villain he just he truly i don't think cares anymore like as much as as much as you know he's a diva and he's a he's a superstar he definitely did you see his hotel room by the way there no yeah plain yeah i mean it wasn't a plain hotel it was a suite but not like a king like I

was like I I would be furious you know what I would be curious and I'm not LeBron James I uh the the the celebration the bubble stunk I mean I was watching the strangers it was it was like uh you know I thought the fake crowd noise and shit made basketball feel pretty normal but then during the during the celebration it was like watching guys at the Y who, like, just won a game. And then he gave this big speech, and he was like, Coach Vogel wanted his respect. Like, the Lake Relation wanted their respect.

Then he paused and he was like, I want my damn respect. And, like, the crowd would have gone nuts. And instead, it was like, yeah! It's tough. Tell them, LBJ! Alex Caruso's fucking shirtless with his dick off It was tough But yeah man he is

Let's hope I mean if Alex Caruso lost his dick last night He celebrated a little too hard So yeah I mean to me I don't know what more you can possibly say or do It's crazy that he would even You know what cemented it for me?

Tom Brady tweeted about it. I had a girl ask me if Tom Brady's actually fat because of that fucking, you know, those tweets going around where they made the coaches fat. The quarterbacks and the coaches fat. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, no. No, Tom Brady's not morbidly fat. Yeah, that didn't happen overnight. Tom Brady doesn't look like one of the fucking Michigan terrorists.

That's what all the coaches look like. Just like you look like someone who tried to kidnap the governor of Michigan. That's great. All right. We're going to get into our top five fall albums today. It's brought to you by Postmates. Now more than ever, Postmates, it's been their time to shine, along with Netflix and Amazon and the other companies

who have come to our need during quarantine and during these times of staying indoors. I mean, I've been team indoors forever. We are not the same. You did it for the last six months. I've done it for my entire life. But for all the Johnny-come-latelys, all the newcomers to the indoors bandwagon, Postmates, it's a life changer because you can get your food delivered.

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Second of all, now that everyone's still back at home, you're going to do $100 in like two days, let alone seven. Literally two meals. I'll do it in a day. Done. No problem. Give me a couple days and I will bang out $100 of delivery fees in a second. But you're going to get it for free when you go to, when you

download Postmates and when you check out, use the promo code KFC. But you're going to get it for free when you go to, when you download Postmates, and when you check out, use the promo code KFC. Anything you need, anytime you need it, Postmate it. Use the promo code KFC to get $100 off for free of delivery charges. I don't want to interrupt the Postmates ad read, but I just sat on my testicles so impossibly hard. You and your long balls. You've got the longest balls in the world, man.

They're long. They are. Swanging. Swanging. On my balls. You kept it. I did a pop-up kind of deal. You're risky doing it again.

I know. Goodness, you are a reckless man. I mean, that was, you know, I'm surprised you kept it together. You sit on your balls, your day's ruined if you were watching I didn't really I paused that's what the fucking viral video last year of the old man

one of the best subtle viral videos you know that guy just went home and kicked the dog fucking my balls are broken I have not sat on my balls in a long time. Knock on wood, man. Really? That is a pain.

Weekly, at least. Really? Oh, yeah. So you're always hanging low. I'm very much like- No, I mean, look. If we come- If it gets cold, you come out, you got a fucking tight bag on me.

I mean, they got- I got a little fucking- What do you prefer? A long bag or a- I love fucking hanging long. I got a little fucking. What do you prefer? A long bag? I love fucking hanging long. I swing that thing around. I'll just stand still at a desk and just wiggle back and forth. No, no, stop.

I like the long bag. I'm going to cover my eyes with my hat as I say this. I'm like a fucking kid shitting in the corner. Oh, man, Keegan had to shit at the park the other day it was so fucking funny let me show you this video real quick this poor little fucker he had to shit so bad he couldn't shit these kids they get constipated right they can't get their shit out so we're at the park and everyone is just having a blast everyone is just having a grand old time and this is fucking Keegan watch him cover his face he's just like oh no watch I zoom in on him he's got like the veins

popping out yeah I put a diaper on him and then he just covers his face again like this is so fucking hard this shit just won't come out poor fucking kid oh man he is pushing so hard. I thought he was going to explode, dude.

Yeah, I like the long back. Darn sex, the long back is fun because it's slapping all over the place, you know? You can hear that and feel that. You can feel that fucking pendulum going. That's my balls on your asshole. And who says I don't work the clip? Girls. Honestly,

there's... You already worked the clip. Put the fucking heat on, kid. It's too cold to hear that. I want some of the straight, the straight cis, the cis girls of the world.

I want them to save that. And anytime somebody thinks that like they're getting good sex, play that and be like, men consider their balls slapping my clit to be like work the clit. That's what they qualify as working the clit. Their balls slapping it. Poor women out there. Work the clit, turn the

heat on. Something happens to you, bro. Is it the dip? Is it the dip? I have no idea. You are a second half player these days. Something goes off where you just

fucking let anything fly. By the way, do you know in European sports, they like, not European sports, European basketball, they like, the stars like don't play the first half. They just come in the second, they play like the full second half. Oh. Just like they'd rather have like, you know, 20 minutes straight, like no break, no nothing. Your best player would rather

be like, ah, he needs a break to start the fourth. There's some logic there. Yeah, no, I get it. So do you want me to be like 80% the whole time, or just go balls to the wall, like 100%? It actually happens, like, I think when I'm watching soccer, the opposite. When, like, Mo Salah gets taken out in, like, the 75th minute, 80th minute, whatever. And it's not a regular thing, but, like, sometimes it happens. And I'm like, why the fuck don't you just rest in the first 10?

I'd like to have our best player on the fucking field. The first ten minutes of soccer are meaningless. Who gives a fuck about that? Top five fall albums. Go ahead. This was a question I believe on Dan's Fantasy Corner is why it came to me. It was yesterday morning. I'm pretty sure he was doing his Fantasy Corner.

He had quote tweeted someone asking him what the best fall albums are. So I decided to make it top five because I think my top four list was a monster but also missed a excellent one. So I'm ready to go. I will start. I'm going to put number one, Counting Crows. August and everything after. It's the greatest

album of all time. This actually, this is the best fall. The top five will be the best fall albums. But it could work as my favorite albums. Because fall is just who you are. Speaking of fall albums, by the way, Sad Boy Season is, we've had many, many questions about new colors.

So we've released a new color scheme. We got olive, maroon, gray. All fall colors. Earth tone, motherfucker. Don't ask for, everyone's like, we need other colors, we need other colors. Give me tie dye. blue. All fall colors. Earth tone, motherfucker. Yeah, don't ask for... Everyone's like, we need other colors. We need other colors. Give me tie-dye.

You think sad boy season wants tie-dye, motherfucker? Don't fucking ask me for bright things, okay? Because that's antithetical to the fucking message. Makes no sense. No. But, yes, we have a fall scheme out. Sad boy season, go get it in the Barstool store right now. But, I mean, August and everything after is...

It's a great one. There are... Okay, I'm going to say my favorite song is on this album Six times I'm going to run down the album list Okay Mr. Jones favorite song Round Here favorite song

Rain King favorite song Track listing here we go Omaha my favorite song Perfect Blue Buildings my favorite song. Omaha, my favorite song. Perfect Blue Buildings, my favorite song. Anna Begins, my favorite song. Sullivan Street, my favorite song. Raining in Baltimore, my favorite song!

That's a lot of favorite songs. That's not all of them, but that's a track listing. It's a monster monster album. Omaha, my favorite song. There's something about it. Did I say that already?

So how would you characterize fall albums? Describe it. Fall albums, Sad Boys. It's just like. It's got to have a melancholy vibe to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No fucking pop. No, no, no.

Just a lower pace. My catalog, I don't have that music. Yeah, you're missing out, buddy. You know, when you're like... Rap doesn't do that. My hacker. My Spotify hacker. You know?

Is there a rap album? Is there a rapper that like... I've heard as many rap albums as I've watched NBA games. Right. That sounds super racist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It does. Yeah, you. Yeah. It does. I was just referencing earlier when I said I've seen 10 NBA games. But I just, I don't know. You white. I'm white. Country Grammar was fire. That was the last album

I was listening to. I'm going to have to go. Alright, Drake. That was like the last rap album I was like, give me two. So then I'm going to have to go. That's like rap song. Because I don't have. All right, Drake. Sure. Sure. Oh.

Drake. Great one. Yeah, Drake. I like his early shit, though. Yeah, that one where he's in a booth with his hands crossed. That's a good one. What's that album called? That's, is that Take Care? Take Care.

I mean, Take Care is a fire answer. Yeah, all right, Drake, Take Care. I'm on the board. I got four more. This is a struggle for me. I'm going to get there, though. I'm going to have to bend the rules. I'm going to come up with different reasons for fall, but I'm going to get there.

Okay, number two, Jason Isbell, Southeastern. Fire! I don't even know what that is. It is just, it's Isbell, actually. Can I have, I have to confess, when we do music once, like, I don't know any of your songs or anything. Some, like, what's the one Whiskey Sadness song, whatever? A Whiskey Lullaby? I have no idea what song that is.

Oh, you're... No idea what that is. Can we just pause this and listen to a Whiskey Lullaby? Yeah, like, fucking gun to my head, couldn't tell you. You're gonna want to put a gun to your eye. We're gonna take a quick commercial break while we listen to... What's the theme of the song? Put it on.

A few moments later. Oh, my God. This is gratuitous sadness. This is a bad song. This is a bad song. It's too stupidly sad. That is obnoxiously sad. Gratuitous depression.

Holy fuck. We're only halfway. No, we're done is what we are. We are done. God almighty. Put the bottle to his head and pulled the trigger. I mean, they don't even go for symbolism. That was as thinly veiled as possible.

Holy shit. All right. Well, what was the other one? Jason Isbell, Southeastern. That's like elephants off that. I think there are. Let's key that one up. That one's bad.

There are probably, I'm not checking the tracklist right now i would guess i have six favorite songs on this album elephant yes relatively easy yes uh super eight yes different days oh yes uh traveling alone big yes cover me up my favorite song of all time i'm gonna go this is um this is not melancholy this is just dark this is dark and it's an album that you know near and dear to your heart uh and polly knows it as well dmx flesh of my flesh blood of my blood that you'd like just tweeted that or showed that to me recently right instagram day because my mom i was at i was at the bar saturday for nate's birthday and um the song that came on uh a song that came on was bitch uh by meredith uh brooks believe i believe yeah i think so uh you know i'm a bitch i'm a lover i'm a child

i'm a mother i'm a singer i'm a saint i do not feel child, I'm a mother, I'm a singer, I'm a saint. I do not feel the same. I'm your hope, I'm your dream. There's nothing in between and I wouldn't want it any other way. I'll tell you, I want this podcast to be some other way. That was my brother's first album he ever got. So he was like five years old and that was the song that we used to play throughout the house. Right.

And I just texted my family group text. I was like, bitch just came on. I still can't believe this is Ben's first album. Right. And my mom just went,

cool parents. And I said, so cool, they got me Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood for Easter. That was in my Easter basket

next to fucking Peeps which I threw in the trash. Of course. And like, I don't know, a fucking gift card. Kevin and Foley get to cover that one. Peeps, trash. threw in the trash. Of course. And, like, I don't know, a fucking gift card. Kevin and Foley get to cover that one.

Peeps, trash. That is an album. I mean, I'm not a regular dad. I'm a cool dad. If my kid asked me to get them an album and I saw that, I think I'd be like, I don't think I'm getting you this. He's fucking in a bathtub covered in blood. It was in my Easter basket.

He's dripping blood. I mean, yeah, my parents used to do that, too. Even fucking Jesus wasn't dripping in blood on easter and that dude was dead he was fucking dead he was he was pinned to a cross i mean that that is uh as as melancholy as it gets my flesh blood my blood that's it you know that is how crazy dmx was he had like everybody white suburban kids like us down with like an album called flesh of my flesh blood of my blood with like swiss beats on it where he was just screaming what the fuck man how is this the number one album in the country

um let's see my My number three, I will go, um, boy, um, Kid Cudi, uh, Man on the Moon. Mm-hmm. Hey, Mr. Rager. There's just, that song was, that was Cudi's first album. It's his only good album in my mind. Really? I like Man on the Moon, too, as well. Um, and I also like Kid C. Ghost.

I think Kid C. Ghost is fire. He's a guy I have a very high bar for that I was like, all right, this is good. Kid Cudi, as far as I'm concerned, obviously I'm wrong, but he was the first artist that I thought of where it was like, he's not just talking about depression. He speaks on it.

He's like, he's an advocate, right? Rather than just like someone who uses it for. Which I'm, you're right. I'm sure there's other people. And that's fine. Like they're both fine. Like if you, if it's just your inspiration for a song, that's totally fine. But like, I always think of Kid Cudi as one of the, like, at least for me who like opened

it up to be like, whoa, okay. Like this dude actually feels how I feel. I get it. And he says it in terms that you get it. When he raps it, it's literal. I mean, there is symbolism shit too, but there's also times where it's like, the sun goes down and I get depressed.

It's like, oh, I get that. I understand that. And he's also the star of my favorite video, maybe of all time, when he's dancing on stage at M&T. At MG&T. Electric Feel. I just saw it.

I don't know if it re-went viral or where I saw it, but I just watched it yesterday. Really? Yo, when he's on beat, when he's like this. Bah, bah, bah, bah. By the by, if you ask me one song, gone to my head, live on a fucking deserted island, can only listen to it forever, it might be Electric Feel. dude that was the one i fucking way up there on my list fake trip balls i didn't i didn't you didn't feel it i wasn't faking it but i just bought fake acid like it was like my sophomore year i went to visit a friend at fordham yeah and so like you

were probably no you weren't in school still but But you were there. It probably would have been – let's call it 07. It would have been my senior year, yeah. Okay. We were there. You were on campus. We were on the same bar. There was only three bars. Visiting someone at Fordham is the worst idea.

Yeah. There's not – it's like, oh, okay. And I got fucked up and lost her. That's why I was trying to get back into Fordham. Can't do that. Which is just not possible. That's how I ended up going to White Castle by myself just like wasting time but it was like

it was a fucking, it was an awesome concert but it was just not acid I just had a sugar pill or Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly very different than acid but still yeah yeah Electric Feel for me is, I mean that's the perfect song and that video, oh amazing I'm gonna bend the rules here because I don't know

much more melancholy music. I'm not a depressed boy like you. When I think of fall, I think of back to school. When I think of school, I think of college. When I think of college, I think of college dropout, Kanye West. There's a little bit of, I don't know, family business, last call. It's just a great album. Is Gone on there?

No. That, maybe. I think that might be late. No, I think it's late registration. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, Spaceship to me is probably his greatest song. Spaceship or Last Call. I think Gone is so good.

And you know he tried to have fucking, who's the bald guy? The bald guy. He always speaks like he's doing slam poetry. Common. Is Common on the song? On Gone? He's on a couple of Kanye songs. I think Gone was like, Kanye just wanted, he was like, take this.

It's your song. And Common was like, no thanks. Really? He's like, I don't really like the beat. And the only reason I know this is because Common is like, I was the dumbest person alive. I love hearing Kanye. Like when he said he made Heart of the City, which is a Jay-Z song, for DMX. Oh, really? And in his mind, he's like, when I was making that, I thought of DMX. And then Jay-Z, like, he says this on Last Call when he's talking at the end.

He's like, Jay-Z grabbed it and did his soulful, introspective shit. And he was like, I kind of wanted the big pimp in Jay-Z. He had DMX in mind. And then Jay-Z took it. He's like, all right, fine. Let me get a Jay-Z hit. And instead, he got Jay-Z deep thinking. And he was like, fuck.

It all worked out pretty well. It's great when you hear that kind of stuff. You know the one that blows my mind is Sia. It's something about the ceiling, her album title. I think it's her first album. You think she regrets, like, I wish I didn't do this fucking thing over my face all the time? Probably. Or maybe she likes it because she's always hiding, but it's got to be a pain in the ass.

No, so I think it's the one, A Thousand Forms of Fear. But it's all – all the songs were just songs that Beyonce and Rihanna turned down. Oh, wow. Beyonce and Rihanna Scratch created a career. And there are fucking a million hits on that album. That album is hits front to fucking back. That's crazy. It's so good. And it was all... And those were not

enough for them. It was like Beyonce was like... You see Rihanna celebrating the Lakers title? It was weird. It was weird. Really? It was like her and this old woman, maybe her mother, I don't know. They were singing We Are the Champions with balloons and shit. Very strange. That was very odd. Yeah, I didn't know she was... Oh, how did Halsey do? How was Halsey's celebration?

Didn't see it. Halsey, I love you. Just come on the show or marry me, one or the other. Up to you. Dealer's choice. You can either do a 20-minute interview or you can spend eternity with me. I'll let you decide. I hope it's plan B.

Not plan B. I hope we need plan B. We won't be. If there's a need for that, I'm going to give you a sugar pill. Is it my turn? Yes. Okay, The Smiths, The Queen is Dead. I mean, you can't be talking sad boy music or fall music again.

It's what we're talking about, but fall to me means sad boy. And, I mean, The Smiths and Morrissey are just the absolute fucking kings of that. That's the pinnacle of that. That's the embodiment of the absolute fucking kings of that. That's the pinnacle of that. That's the embodiment of that. The kings of that. If you're a depressed white person who doesn't listen to the Smiths all the time. Then you're not a depressed white person. Figure it out.

You will be once you listen to that. I mentioned Jay-Z. I'm going to go fall, September. There's fall. Blueprint came out on September 11th. september 11th pretty melancholy day the blueprint oh you're gonna say alan jackson i like zach sitting here because i make his head drop a lot yeah yeah zach zach is a good barometer of when we're like oh that's that's either like well that's funny or we went too far yeah zach is he's like what the fuck what the fuck

um last one miles davis kind of blue oh fuck there's there's not i don't believe it no i don't believe it i know there isn't a word on that album. But just the horn. Boy, does he fuck that. The horn. Whatever thing that makes that noise. That's like very, my Spotify hacker plays really jazzy music. I like putting on a little. It is.

I like Coltrane personally, but Miles Davis, sure. I think it's the only album, the only music in my whole life. No, that's not true. I will tell that, too, though. The first time I ever heard it was on vinyl. And that's an album that's made for vinyl. I've gone back and listened to it on Spotify then. You fucking hipster asshole.

But, like, dude, my most fun night of quarantine was, like, when I first set up my record player. And I was listening to that, drinking some whiskey in a rocking chair. And then my dad came in, and he was like, oh, I'm going to get my albums. And then my mom came in because she saw, like, my dad carrying his albums out. And we just fucking rocked out. That's awesome. We got, like, drunk on a Tuesday. Yeah.

Just being like, wait, put this one on, Pauly. Put this one on. And it was like boss skags. Woo, boss skags. Dude. You fucking bring the noise. That, like having moments like that with your parents, that's got to be cool. Yeah.

I'm waiting for the day where I can, like my parents, we can like enjoy each other's company. Like as normal people. You know what I mean? Like in that moment, you weren't like, enjoy each other's company. Like, as normal people. You know what I mean? Like, in that moment, you weren't father, son, husband, wife. No, we were just three humans sitting around. We were just drunk people fucking dancing in the class. That must have been some white shit.

Cream cheese white. Last one for me. Nick, you might know. What? What? Do you know Pearl Jam well? Yeah. What album is Better Man on?

Is that Phytology? Alive? No, it's not Alive. Alive's too early. I want to say Phytology. Or maybe the one with the fucking llama, the sheep in the album. Whatever. Whatever album Better Man's on.

I love Better Man. Better Man might be my favorite rock song of all time. Like 90s rock song of all time. Wow, we just went Drake, DMXmx kanye jay-z pearl jam yeah vitality vitality i don't know the rest of the album i don't think anything else is i really noteworthy better man better man to me is that's a good depressing song uh that's up there for for depression i should have put that on my sad boy list but i love that song so there there we go i got through it that's those are two strong fives i i i actually know most of the

albums on your top five mine don't make sense but that's fine i just made like my top four favorite rap albums basically that's really all i did like i said that's what mine is it's just my top five favorite album right it just happens to coincide with fall uh all right two interviews for you today first up nate barg Bargatze, funniest person alive. Period. Fact. Period. Stop.

Next question. I mean, really, if you wanted, we can debate, you know, Bill Burr and, like, some of the greats and stuff, but if you're talking about just, like, funny person to be around and have conversation with, I don't think I'd laugh more with anybody else than Nate Bargatze. He is just that dude. And then we got Adam Brody with a – Adam Brody is a cool cat.

He is not from our world, really. And when we do our world and our thing, we're doing like our routine on him, I think his head's spinning. Yeah, yeah. But he keeps up. He plays along, but I think he's like, what the fuck is going on? I mean, John asked him if he likes the taste of human flesh. And he answered, yes, I have a baby I want to eat.

He has a baby. I was like, does that mean you want to eat your baby? So, yeah, we got two good interviews coming up. But first up, of course, voicemails. It's brought to you by Bird Dogs. Bird Dogs. Have you ever tried built-in underwear? The answer is probably no, because I don't think it existed until now.

Who has built-in underwear other than those ridiculous nets that they used to put in bathing suits? Oh, my God. Who? Who invented that? I can't believe it took us so long to just be like, we're not doing this anymore. I mean, I used to just buy or my mom would buy me bathing suits. The first thing I'd do is get a pair of scissors where I'd rip it apart. Whoever did that, somebody should find them with a big wrench, not a little wrench, a big wrench, and beat them to death.

Whoever invented the nets in bathing suits should be beat to death. It's like Hitler, bathing suit guy, 1A, 1-1A. That's how fucking stupid and bad those were. Two terrible ideas, genocide, bathing suit, and nets. But bird dogs came along, and they were like, you know what? Let's do this and not do it terribly. Let's do it in a comfortable way and an efficient way so now you got comfortable shorts and comfortable pants with built-in underwear that you don't have to worry about doing extra laundry you don't have to worry about uh having holes in your underpants like polly would get

worried about because you got the built-in pair and it all is come it all comes from uh lululemon designer type gear so that comfortable athleisure wear that's stylish that fits well that performs well that looks good and makes you comfortable while also uh able to you know go out to work go out to dates bars whatever uh they're your work pants they're your golf pants there's your lounge pants they're everything so go get them they got the best comfort the best best fit, the best material, and the stretch. The stretch is key. The stretch is key, my friends. You need the stretch. Hallelujah. Go to birddogs.com

and to promo code KFC. And of course, they'll give you nunchucks. Because why not? Because why fucking not? I've decided I'm going to take some nunchucks courses. I'm going to learn how to nunchuck. Me? Where do you think you'd find a course like that? YouTube. Pass me them right there. Right behind you. Let me hit that. Let me how to nunchuck. Me. Where do you think you'd find a course like that? YouTube. Pass me them right there.

Right behind you. Let me hit that. Let me hit that nunchucks. You get the throwing stars and do the YouTube, and I will get the nunchuck course going, and we will be the samurai podcast. Okay. Go to birddogs.com, promo code KFC. Get the pants and the nunchucks.

That's birddogs.com, promo code KFC. Get the pants and the nunchucks. That's birddogs.com, promo code KFC. Carly Aquilino thinks that Walter White is hot. I get that. You do? Yeah. I have never heard that take in my life. I saw a promo on her Instagram of a girl who was on her show saying the exact same thing. She's like, you're the only person on the planet Earth I've ever heard say this.

Have you ever heard this take? I've never heard it, but I'm not like, whoa, what? It's not like when Casey said she wanted to fuck Jigsaw from Saw. It kind of is. No. I mean, he's a murderous mastermind. Brian Cranston is a hot person. Walter White is not, you know, I mean, he's bald with the beard and he's got

cancer and he poisons babies and shit. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. You and Carly, fucking sickos. Bryan Cranston said that's how he knew he could get into acting. He went to his first acting class ever and the woman's eyes lit up when she got paired with him and he's like

people think I'm hot. I can do this. Wow. Interesting. Again, self-confidence. Bryan Cranston, also the star of probably my favorite play I've ever been to, which was Network. Bryan Cranston's the fucking man. We got to get him in here. I'd love to.

Yeah. Kelly, get on it. Voicemails, let's go. What up, fights, KFC, all the interns. I want to shout out to you a quick question, okay? So I went to my girlfriend's house, and we've been dating for a little bit at this point, and I woke up in the morning, and I was covered in hives.

And she's a dog trainer, so there's a lot of dogs around and all that shit, but I've always been around dogs, so I don't know why I'm covered in hives and I'm allergic. My question is to you guys, that's got to be a breaking point, right? I mean, what do i do here boys i i have no idea i can't even go over house i mean you can't that's it's over in goddamn hives it's over if that if that's a consistent thing if it's a one you got to see if it's a one-time thing maybe a two-time thing if this is like every time you go see her you're gonna break out in hives you i mean you're what one another, whether it's her, her clothes, her furniture, the building,

I don't know, whatever. You're basically allergic to the girl. You can't do this. Is there anything in the world worth this that you would do where you're like, how good would the pussy have to be? Like, is that the only vagina left on the planet? I don't think so. And even then, I think I'd be like, uh, I'm pretty sure there are other ones.

Last time I checked, there's at least another one. Right. Well, at least one more. How good, like, if it was like Riley Reid? No. Okay, I'll tell you why it's a hard no. Because I recently bought an OnlyFans private video for $20 with Riley Reid in it. And I thought about, like, spending $20.

And I would not. $20 versus hives, they're not equal. And I was still like, eh. You're on the fence about spending $20. Just to be clear, I wish I did. Also, watching a video. Once I watched it, I was like, eh. But that's different than Riley Reid fucking you.

Yeah, no doubt. Very different. But again, hives, very tough. I've rethought about it. I would fuck Riley Reid with hives. I was going to say, hives. Very tough. Hives not. I've rethought about it. I would fuck Riley Reed with hives. I was going to say, hives not permanent. Hives, tough, tough, tough night maybe. I don't know.

You know what makes that, like, better? Riley Reed's bubble. Fucking Riley Reed. Yeah. Yeah. Riley, come on the show. We'll debate it. Riley, have you ever fucked a guy and he broke out in hives and then he had to decide whether

to keep dating you or not? Come on the show. Let's get Riley Reid on the show. Let's get Riley Reid on the show. Enough's enough. Enough tomfoolery. Get Riley Reid on the show. Don't you have a podcast?

Like, come on the show, dude. Come on. Talking to Logan and them. Like, you do this shit. Just come on and talk to us. Talking about a fucking skin diamond by a pool that I bought. Yeah, listen. We have a fucking, you know, what level of

donation do you need to just do a podcast, you know? Do that, John. Donate $100. Send her a tip. Send her a tip with a message that says, I do a podcast. Come on. I'll buy you, Riley, for $100. I'll buy your podcast appearance. It's like a glorified cameo. I think it's going to cost more than $100, but I'm still

in to pay for it. You know what, you would think that, and it might, but also Riley Reed's the type who would just be like, I don't know. Remember when she was smoking a blunt through her toes? That was cool. No, it wasn't through her toes. It was through Lil Pump's, I think. It was a rapper's toes. Yeah.

Like, that was cool. And even all the shit she does with Logan, where she's like, yeah, I don't know, we'll hop on the plane. They're putting the fuck on the plane and shit, you know? Pretty cool. Riley, come on the show. Next voicemail hey kfc spy super producer uh bc or uh nick or jackie uh i got a quick question i was thinking about this the other day and i brought it up with my little brother and we couldn't stop talking about it for hours how much money do you think is in the ocean like all of the oceans

uh the rules that we set for it are that it has to be money like currency that you could still use somewhere in the world today so if you have like a bunch of bunch of like prussian francs that can't count but like dollars and yen and all that so if you had to take it all up add it together and convert into usb how much do you think is in the ocean? I don't think very much. Oh, wrong. But like he's talking like so there's like buried treasure count? He's talking about like currency?

Yeah. I don't think there's that much. Oh, there's millions of dollars. Yeah, but like – Millions of dollars is much money. Not really. We're talking about like all of the money that exists in the ocean in the world. Like, I mean, you think that there's just a bunch of bills, like, in the bottom of the ocean?

Yeah. Tons. Why? I don't know. Think about every boat that's gone down. Right. But, like, yeah, you get 20 bucks here, 40 bucks here, 60 bucks here, 100 bucks here. Yeah, that's not...

How many boats do you guys think are sinking? It doesn't... But, like, also, I wasn't even going to go sinking, although, yes, I had also considered that. But it just flies off. How many wallets? What are you guys talking about? How many wallets do you think are in the ocean? This feels like Charlie Kelly.

There's a horse massacre down there? How many wallets do you think are down at the bottom of the ocean? There's just money flying off the boats all the time. I personally have about three or four wallets in the ocean. What? I don't think there's that much money at the bottom all the time. I personally have about three or four wallets in the ocean. What? There is. I don't think there's that much money at the bottom of the ocean. Is that crazy?

There is. If you want to include gold and jewels and pirate booty and shit, you guys are thinking that there are enough, A, boats sinking, B, money bills flying through the air, and C, lost wallets. Yeah. That are adding up to to billions of dollars? No, millions.

How many millions? Low millions? I would say $17 million. There are... If you go to Mackerel Cove in Jamestown, Rhode Island, it's in Narragansett Bay. Let's go. How much money is in Mackerel Cove in Narragansett?

Personally, over there, I have three wallets. At least $210. Two pairs of sunglasses and three pairs of keys. They're all in that fucking cove. They're there. Go fucking comb it with your fucking James Cameron Titanic type thing. You will find so many of John Feidelberg's belongings. It's insane.

So I like to think that I'm not the only fucking asshole alive. And it's happening to a lot of people. How many people do you think need to do that to have millions of dollars in the ocean? A lot of people. How much money did you have in your wallet at the time? 20 bucks? Oh, no, this was back in 2008 to 12. When you had no money.

Yeah, but I was carrying cash. So you had maybe $60. I would guess that. There's a maximum of $180 in Mackerel Cove and Narragansett. Iowa Jamestown, Narragansett Bay. There's a maximum of $180 in Mackerel Cove in Narragansett. I would Jamestown. Narragansett Bay. There's no money in the ocean. There's like $1,700 in the ocean.

You guys. Unless you tell me that there's like a boat that like transfers bills in like the Federal Reserve that sunk one day. I don't think there's a lot of money. Sure, that happened too. Oh, yeah. Oh, and how about pirates, Kevin? Pirates don't steal money and fucking use inflatable ships nowadays. They were going down all the time.

Pirates are obviously where I can't believe we're talking about idiots like you losing their wallet. That's not where the money comes from. The money comes from sea ships, treasure ships, and pirate ships. Yeah, there's plenty of those going down. But most of that was gold bullion and shit. No, heavens no. There is some currency, no doubt.

What did you Google? I can see you looking at the computer. What did you Google? Two dozen large ships sink every year, like massive ships. With? What is that? Are they just carrying tons of cash when they sink?

What this shows is freighters. They're definitely transporting some money. I don't think that there's that much money on freighters. Everything you guys are throwing my way, I don't think they're just loaded with cash bills. There's definitely a safe on them, right? I don't know. Is there? Oh, of course, Kevin.

You don't know anything about ships, do you? Apparently not. Ships are loaded with safes. Everywhere you look on a ship, safe. Now, if you tell me that like a cruise ship, no, it's straight pirate ships and that's it. I won't hear about freighters and I won't hear about John losing wallets. I can't believe you said money flying off the deck of boats. Oh, tons of it, Kevin.

This is one of my stupidest segments ever. I was going over to Martha's Vineyard, and my dad gave me $3 to get something out of the vending machine, and it all went overboard. Now, multiply that by at least dozens. This is the dumbest segment we've had in so long. But that money's still there. That money's been there forever. Like, this didn't have to happen this year. No, I know, John.

Like, it could have been 100 years ago. $17 million at the bottom. Like, at the base. It's probably more. I would guess LeBron James net worth is in the ocean without a doubt give me the next voicemail for the love of god 100 probably

100 million dollars I would bet is at the bottom of that fucking ocean. And I'm just talking Atlantic. Don't get me into the Pacific. That's where the money really is. That's all people at just fucking Californian bars. Wind comes, boom, there it is in the ocean. All those tips.

All those tips for the bartenders right away into the Pacific. Hey, KFC Fights. So we've got a pretty basic question. If you could remove the stigma around any one brand, group, object, what would you take it from? You guys know my answer. For example, adagonia. Put a finger in your butt?

Yeah, male sex toys. Male sex toys and butt play. Yes. Done. Done. It's a strong answer. It's a great answer. And it's an answer that everybody at home right now is going,

yup, yup. They might not say it out loud. They might not have the balls to say it on a podcast. I knew right away you were going to talk about your asshole. I was positive of it. And I was thinking, I was staring at my microphone during that question. I go, Kevin's going to talk about his asshole. I was positive of it. And I was thinking, I was staring at my microphone during that question. I go, Kevin's going to talk about his asshole. Thank God,

because I was going to talk about mine. I was going to say, acting like you're not. Acting like that wasn't the first thought you had. I'm like, alright, we'll let him bring it up and then we'll just jump on board. Oh my God. Oh, that's so fucking funny. Male sex toys, butt play, the whole nine.

De-stigmatize. Yo, if you want to fucking put a butt plug in a guy and then get fucking nuts clapped on your clit, call me. End it. It's over. Interview's done! I'm not talking about the episode. I'm talking about the podcast. It's over The podcast is over Interview's done I'm not talking

I'm not talking about the episode I'm talking about the podcast It's over It's over I have to do ad reads right now I was gonna say I was gonna say call Kevin But I don't think you're nuts long enough

I can definitely give you point A I don't know about point B long enough. I can definitely give you point A. I don't know about point B. Oh my god, I'm sweating. Holy shit. Nate's gonna love that fucking lead in. You wanna put a butt pluck in and get your clit clapped by him.

Yo, clit clapped is my new favorite fucking term. Clit clap, clit clap. Oh my god. Thank god for that afternoon dip, man. I think it's the clap. Oh, my God. Thank God for that afternoon dip, man. I think it's the dip. I think it is. Nate Bargatze is brought to you by Simply Safe. Nate's got a beautiful family.

He's got money. If Nate went on a boat and it sunk, he would lose millions of dollars. So he's got to protect all his loved ones. We're now up to $ 106 million in the Pacific. You've got to check, you've got to keep your loved ones and all your belongings and your money, all your money safe, all your jewels and your fucking rubies and your gold

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What's that picture? Walk-ins welcome. It's like some sort of doctor's office. Hello. Hey. There's a guy. What's up, bud? What's up?

How you doing, man? Good. I'm good. You know what that picture was? It's Better Call Saul. I think it's his office. I did it. Yeah, I forget why.

I don't know why. You a big fan of all that shit, Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul? I am, but I was doing it for a reason because my net year uh the your face was on something like i do that for uh venmo uh i don't i don't use my real name because people was asked would ask me for money how annoying is that yeah all the time the request it's like it's supposed to be funny but it's not like i don't fucking care about that uh yeah it just happens all you know you're like all right yeah yes it's like i just changed the name what's the weirdest like reason you've ever had for money uh i don't know if i've had any it's just usually just straight up just asking i don't think i've had any i don't

know i've had any crazy i think you guys would get it worse than me yeah we get some i can't think of any specific but i remember my blood boiling for some of them i i get ones like your mom didn't say hi to me. Yeah. That's obviously a very specific one that actually happened. I was like, how do you even know what my mom looks like, bro? People are the worst, huh? I know Shay gets them.

And Shay, because we were talking about it, and Shay, from Dan and Shay, Shay got like 50 grand. Someone was asking for like 50 grand oh you know what they asked for five dollars because my mom did that's what i was gonna get five dollars the thing is like one day or maybe it's already happened like one day some celebrity will use it for pr and just like do it and maybe it'll be you that day who knows yeah yeah if you do that if shay dropped 50 grand right now it it's, you know, oh, he's so generous and headlines and all that kind of crap. It would be everywhere.

It would just make a nightmare for everybody else. Yeah. That is, you get the PR and all of your peers absolutely loathe you for doing that. Yeah. Just being like, you're the worst, dude. I mean, it would be, it hurt Vin, Vinmio. Is it Vinmo? Vinmo. Vinmio. Is it Venmo? Venmo.

Venmio. All right, Grandpa Nate. Jesus. Are you tight with that? What about Zayn Vimio? With Vimio? I'm like, y'all get money requests through Vimio? Uh, it's just, uh. So wait, are you, are you tight with Dan and Shay? Uh, Shay, I haven't met Dan yet. Oh, really? Who knows if there's even is a Dan.

But I – Shay I am. Yeah, we golf a lot and he lives here. I think that was your connection to Foreplay, right? Didn't you and Dan and Shay and Foreplay do something together? Yeah. Yeah, we all talked. And yeah, because Shay says he's a good golfer and he's got a lot better. He has gotten a lot better.

I will say that. What do you shoot? I'm a 3.7. Oh, that's pretty a lot better. He has gotten a lot better. I will say that. What do you shoot? I'm a 3.7. Oh, that's pretty good. Shit. Wait, that's fucking good as hell. Well. So what is it?

That means you're like almost four strokes off of being par? Yeah. I mean, yeah. But yeah, I shoot like, I'll shoot 70s. I'm stuck at like 81 will be my bad round. Shit. That's like way better than I thought

you were going to say. Have you been golfing your whole life or is this like a new development since you got rich? It's since I got rich. You were about to answer. I just let it answer. I go, well, I come from money so

I've actually lost money since my success in comedy. No, I played when I was a kid. The country club I joined, at first I joined Old Hickory Country Club, which is where I got married. And that's a very blue collar. Because, you know, country clubs have this stigma on them that they think it's like all this stuffy kind of place. And you can go to some, you're like, dude, it's not that much money. And it's, I mean, there's, there's, you can be like, it's a couple hundred bucks. And you're like,

the course feels like that. And you would be like, I'd rather just go play a public course. Dude, when I was younger, we used to sneak onto a course. It was $12 to play, probably $9, I'd guess. And we would still try to save the $12. We would sneak on at like 6 p.m. We'd go like enough to get like enough sunlight to finish nine. But we were still like, we were teeing off of rocks.

It was a terrible course. Yeah. Those bad courses, those were the fights happened my brother goes and plays at a course here and uh it's riverside it's you know another small course that we used to grow up playing i actually like the course i like you know it just means it's of course you grew up playing and uh but that's a course where all the t-boxes are next to the greens and i, people are getting hit. I mean, if you barely miss the green, you just land.

And when bad golfers play, they're not, like, rational. No. You know, like, they don't go, like, oh, that happens. They think you did it on purpose. You were aiming for me. And then they're, like, here we come. And then they're going to just come after you. I played with, this was at my course,

but we were playing and one guy, he hits into another, hits into another tee box. And I see the guy's hands go up. This guy looks just like Steve Kerr, the guy that he hit. I mean, I think, I think it's his brother. And I would, I would ask him if we don't have – we have bad blood now. So I go over, and I can tell, like, I got to go over there because this dude is going to be upset. And so then the guy is kind of like, guys, you got to watch out.

And we yelled four. He just couldn't hear us. It's a bad shot. No one wants to hit someone. No, yeah. We're trying to get it in the hole, bro. We're not trying to hit into other people's tee boxes. So I get over there. I'm talking to his it in the hole, bro. We're not trying to hit it to other people's tee boxes. So I get over there.

I'm talking to his wife there. Oh, jeez. And I'm like, look, I'm trying to – I'm like, dude, we up for it. Obviously, we're not trying to hit you. Like no one wants to be in this situation. You think this is horrible. And he's like, oh, well, just kind of wouldn't let it go. By the way, he's teeing off.

They're hitting in the other fairways. And then my friend that's the worst golfer, his name's Felix, he goes and he's aiming this way. He hits it sideways and hits the woman's cart. I mean, I just got everything calmed down. I get it. And then, I mean, I'm like, all right, we're good. They're like, we're good.

And it's like, boom. And he just hits it. And the lady goes, come on, guys. The timing was beautiful. I was like, all right. He might have done that one on purpose. I don't know what to tell you about that. That one you got to beef.

That one I understand. Yeah. That makes sense. Have you ever had any golf rage moments? Have you ever been on the other side of it? Or at yourself, maybe? I've been hit. I've been hit on a range

on a range on a range where i've been uh yeah when i get when i got sideways no no no driving on the range i've had a ball go off sideways and i've some and it hit and then i got there's another range that's near a hole and so then a ball hit over there. I've been hit a few times. Like your cart gets hit. I'm trying to think. No fights or anything. I mean, that's all public golf. You had the guy who called you his wife's name, obviously. Olivia.

Olivia. I couldn't remember the name. Olivia was exactly the true. i ever tell it's i mean it's exactly the story that happened the guy old man comes over goes olivia and i was standing there and then i asked a kid at the valet is this what i was just playing in florida and i said hey did that did that guy uh call me olivia and the kid was embarrassed i mean he was like yeah i don't i don't know man uh i don't know he did though and i and i and i told the kid i go that's i mean it's honestly the best thing that's ever happened he doesn't you know he doesn't know i'm a comedian that's right like i'm i'm gonna have

that in my back pocket literally for the rest of my life son you don't realize that's the best thing when was the last time or if, that you were in a fight? Not even golf later, just like a bar fight, fist fight, anything like that? I just can't imagine. Yeah, I had a brief in college. My brief's still in college, but I got no credits. How many attempts? How long were you there?

Yeah, I was there a year and a year and a half 18 months you got no credits dude i was there for three and a half years i have like 30 credits so you're i think on pace you're better than me that's like what two three semesters worth of classes like you'll be taking full full like amounts like four or five classes i know i took so my my act and, I had like – I was like real bad. I think I got a 17 or something. I've never told anybody because I think it's embarrassing. It's low where people are like – they would be like, are you okay?

You know, like something – like the teachers would talk to the parents after like to be like, hey, can we all just hang back? I don't know if we should be in this school. Or like that's like – no, something must must have been wrong with the Scantron. That can't be. Something went wrong with the test. I don't think they ever take an ACT. I'm actually looking right now. I don't even know. I think the ACTs are not really an East Coast thing or they weren't. I don't.

They're Southern. What's the score out of? 17 out of? 36. Oh, that's not good. That's not good. We weren't even, I i mean i think it's 36 yeah if i got a 17 do you think i know yeah and yeah i think 18 is like 18 is like you're getting through you made you know yeah you're nothing nothing to brag home about but you're not 17 is like the first it's like 17 i took remedial classes as well uh so i went to

community college and took uh i honestly i took speech a class called speech and uh i talked about the vandy 96 football season i showed a highlight reel from it that's a highlight reel where we went five and six and i i mean i was like lot. And I was like, oh, my God. I'm all fired up about the funeral. So I took my senior year of high school, I took pre-calculus. Oh, God. You got no shot. This kid, I mean, the other day, Nate, we did a challenge here.

It was how many multiplication questions can you get right in like one minute? And it was like six times two, three times nine, like just like simple shit like that. I mean, he got I finished, I got 21. He didn't, like everyone else, a lot of people like finished, it was how fast can you finish all of them? You got like 15 out of 30. I got one third

of them. It was really, and he's sitting there counting on his fingers. It was, it was real bad. So him doing pre-calculus is like, forget about pre-calc. So my senior year was pre-calc. That was the last math class I ever took. And we had this major project that you had to do. Like it was told to us on day one of classes. And then on the last day of classes, you had to you had to choose your your project and then explain it.

And mine was explaining how sailboats work. And she was just like, that doesn't involve any math. I took the whole year. And she said it in front of the whole class. She was just like, you explained no math there. That's like a science question.

Great job for the wrong class. That's like a science question. Great job for the wrong class. That's physics. I had no math in my – and that was like what my entire grade was based on. I failed the class. Clearly. Clearly. So wait. You're an unbelievable cell boat rider like you.

But I know how a cell boat works. Like that, you have some weird – if you could ever see that teacher on a sailboat broke down and you roll up and go oh look look how the tide is turning and then and then you just don't help her i bet you wish you weren't a printout teacher now i'm in 06 don't you you remember that and it was and also like i didn't describe it well it was like how someone explains how a plane flies where like it's about lift and i was just like yeah it's about like push and she's like yeah no one man this doesn't have any math in it it's just going you got to get going and going the wind the wind tells you where you're going she's like what and you're like i mean it's true is it not true spot the lie

so you do you do three semesters a couple classes whatever no credits and then felt bowling i felt bowling a bowling class because i didn't go to it they wanted because you have to keep score uh like you know by a pencil which is insane insane. Nobody on Earth... No bowling alley on Earth is... Yeah, they didn't have the fucking TV screen up there? You put it in with a special keyboard? This guy, he did not. And I was a good bowler.

You know my favorite story? I failed Ultimate Frisbee, by the way. I laughed at you, but I failed Ultimate Frisbee. I failed Ultimate Frisbee, and I failed Stretching and Relaxation. Well, that I can understand Frisbee, and I failed stretching and relaxation. Well, that I can understand. Yeah. This guy, he can't touch his fucking knees.

I thought it was going to be yoga. It wasn't. They taught you how to stretch, and I was like, this is stupid. I'm not coming back here ever again. What's your high score in bowling? 266. Wow. My all-time favorite story ever is the guy who bowled a 300 on 9-11.

It's the best. He has a plaque up. It says 9-11, 2001. And he bowled it in the morning, like before everything went down. So that one guy is walking around being like, well, like the greatest day of my life is 9-11, 2001. Yeah. One of the chances, man. He goes, at least what time?

You're like, about an hour before. It's like everything was going. That's unbelievable. I mean, who bowls that early? That's what I always thought, too. It was very early. To be honest, that's where I think maybe it's a lie. Maybe he's bowling.

Maybe he didn't give a shit and was just bowling in the middle of the night. Maybe he bowled the night before and they don't put it up until the next day. Could be. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Let's hope. I like to think that he was just like no news. No one come bother me. I'm bowling a heck of a round.

Don't tell me anything that's happening. And they're like, some pretty big news is happening. I don't care. I don't want to hear it right now. We got to interrupt you because it doesn't. Is it here? Is the bowling alley on fire? Because then I don't want to.

It doesn't matter. How's the podcast business treating you, man? It's good, man. It's fun. We started doing it with this COVID stuff. Just started doing our podcast, a couple local comics, national comics. And it's been good.

I mean, people have been listening, and, you know, we're not doing anything. We're not, you know, we're not knocking doors down in this. There's nothing crazy, but we're trying to make it. It fits along kind of with my comedy and the fact that it's nothing's heavy, nothing's topical. We're just trying to be funny and, like, try to be just that kind of space where if people need a break,

they can come listen. Did you start it, like it strictly because of COVID, or were you planning on doing it anyway, and that was the last straw? Because I feel like a lot of people started a lot of projects in quarantine, and then they're like, oh, shit, I got to keep doing this. This is another thing I got to keep up with. Yeah, it's a lot of babies.

A lot of babies born like that. Right. Oh, God, this kid's not going to leave. Once the mask comes off, it's like, he's still here. I took my mask off and he was still there. No, we started it. You know, I've always kind of debated it. And I do like the idea of being able to be funny during the week.

You know, when you start comedy, when we were in New York starting, we're around each other all day, every day, day all comics where you're being funny a lot right and so when you the older you get and the more you start touring kind of by yourself you're not around that so i think with comedy uh with a podcast it's good to go be funny on it and so i've always debated kind of doing one and then this was something that happened that you're like, all right, man. Well, you know, cause it's like my, your main source of income is just on. Do you, do you miss the, that, that, what you just described there? Like being in New York city around the guys in the clubs,

or are you like happy to be doing, you know, be done with that? Yeah, no, no. I mean, I definitely miss it. I mean, I, you know, as you get older, you're like, yeah, I don't want to, I'm glad to be, I am glad to be done with it. Yeah. I wouldn't want to go start over, but I mean, I missed it. I mean, it was, you know, it was, it was my college. I didn't really go. So it was, that was kind of my college was to go through there. And I mean, and just all the stuff I got to see and be around, you know, you see Chappelle coming into all these clubs and Patrice and I watched Bill

Burr kind of go from, you know, like not an open mic, but he was like a headliner just at clubs. No one would come. No one. I mean, I saw him at Caroline's where like 40 people were in there. Jeez. Really? Then. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've seen, I remember Burr's first late night set when he, I was barking at the Boston Comedy Club in the Village, and I almost handed him a flyer. Like, we'd bark and say, hey, welcome, we've got a great comedy show.

And then I almost gave it to him, and he was going to do Letterman, and he was trying to run his set, and then I told him. So, I mean, I saw him and Patrice, Patrice O'Neal. Yeah. They taped their one-night HBO one-night stand, which was a huge thing. They kind of set on – it set Bird. That really started it up for Bird. So it was that, the ONA Philly thing where he – the Philly rant.

I remember talking to him a couple days after that, like him just telling us about it. That's awesome. And then that – so it was like you saw that kind of stuff, then you go to carolines where carolines the managers are like y'all can't come in like you know to go from we can go sit in 50 different seats and watch them so then they're like don't even come down and try to get it it's that crowded right so it's like see all that kind of stuff and that rise is is, you know, that, I mean, that stuff is the greatest stuff. I would have to imagine in the history of comedy,

you've got to be the worst barker of all time. Oh, dude. I am. Hey, you want to come to a show? If not, don't worry. Whatever, man. It's fine. I was terrible.

I, all I, all that means the whole time you're out there you just want I mean I remember just I was like how do I get off of this corner yeah it was so cold hey we got a great comedy show I mean I just no sell I'm not selling anything if you any hesitation you trust me you're gone I'm not I'm not following you I'm just like we had I remember it's one time we had uh because you know it's funny there's some comics that are great at it and that was one of those things you're like i don't know if you want to be great at this right exactly you don't want to just be where you're like dude i am awesome at getting people in the door uh but i remember one time chapelle was on stage and i was telling people i was like dave chapelle's on stage they could go for free

because it's like the show at boston comic club run by my buddy dustin shape in new york comic and he'd run it from eight in the morning to basically two in the morning and it's just during the week it was just guys would stop in and kind of in the crowd would come in and out so chapelle's on stage i'm like hey chapelle's on stage i'm telling these people and they're like i don't believe you and i remember i was like why would i i go why would i make this we're at a comedy club i go why i was like just go look if he's not there then don't go in and they wouldn't go look and it could be my barking skills were so bad that they're like i don't believe something else is up it's a trap it's a trap we walk in there. We're going to lock the door behind me.

Something. There's no Chappelle. I've seen this before. That feels like that whole life feels like something that's probably awesome when you have to do it. Like if you have to bark and you're grinding for your money, it stinks. Now it's like if you could have a night back in that same vibe, it would be awesome. Well, you guys know it's in the same thing when you're all coming up and you we're all doing something that's not the average job and we're coming up when you're coming up and you're grinding and

you're just around all these guys you're hearing all the crazy stories and you're just trying to get in whenever you get in and then you finally can get up to where you're like all right now you're touring that's what's so scary about covid just being all that work and then you're like and then it could just be rap and you're like all right we had a fun run you know and you see what happens i feel like the people who were you know right on the verge maybe you know it's like if you if you didn't have much to lose okay if you're set you know it's a setback but whatever but those people right in the middle who are like this is about to be my big tour about to be my special yeah oh my god what do you fucking do now it's crazy i mean that's yeah those those people i feel bad for the comics you know it's gonna be hard to when the when the stuff does

open back up is all the headliner guys they got to go back out i mean we're like say texas i was talking to someone today a musician i mean this texas and ford to say they're they why they're wide open first ford it might be open but. I mean, Texas and Florida say they're wide open first. Florida might be open. But if they're open, I mean, the entertainment they're going to have, everybody on earth is coming. I mean, if you're in Florida, you're going to be like, who do you want to see?

Elton John, a magician, juggler? Like, I mean, the circus? We're all going to have it. The whole world is going to be just – gonna you're gonna have too many options and so you're getting out there doing uh like one of the drive-in tours yeah so we just did a bunch of them you're in massachusetts recently right i was in cape cod yeah yeah that one was awesome i had a few friends on instagram i was like i didn't even know nate was up there like they were like they were at the show and they were kind of posting it and i was like fuck that's the pirate museum uh the pirate museum yeah went to the pirate museum the part the hard thing with buses too my buddy i don't know if you know that justin smith very funny

comic that was on the road with me open for me that trip and he had to go to the bathroom so we're on a bus you can't go to the bathroom on this but you know you can pee but that's about it yeah so if you got to do something else you to find. So we go to that pirate museum. It was like broke. And he's like, can I go to the women's? And the woman knew. And she just goes, no. And she's like, you've got to go find.

She goes, you can go to that restaurant if they're crazy enough to let you in there. You can go in there. She made him go to another restaurant. Wow. The greatest thing. Like a true pirate. We're in a pirate museum. And she's like, no.

Get, go, go over there. That is like, I mean, a person in that situation, they are in need. You know, they are at their most vulnerable. And that is literally kicking a man while he is down. I mean, it was wonderful. Come on, lady. Yeah, it was brutal for her. Yeah.

Don't go to that pirate museum. Don't go to the bathroom. Go into the museum. Did you go into the pirate museum yourself? Oh, yeah. We went and did the whole thing. Pretty wild. How was it?

They're doing quite good. They said one fact that I saw in it was that, you know, because it seems crazy. Their heyday of pirates was like 1700s. And you're thinking like, how could they just be taking over these places? But there was roughly like 2,000 pirates. But in the 1700s, there was only 18,000 people in Manhattan. And, you know, only 5,000 in like South Carolina. So if they, these pirates are like nut jobs.

They have, they do not care about anything. They would get, a lot of them got killed because they would attack the wrong ships because they would be drunk so they're just like drunk and they're like let's go get that ship right there and it's like a navy ship that just murders all of them and they have it all just started just some guy can barely see he's like i'll go and they just try to fight everybody dude i i i'm still scared to eat in the dark or even poor lighting because I learned when I was probably in middle school, maybe early high school,

that pirates used to blow the candles out below deck when they ate so they couldn't see the maggots on their food. And now it's still like something that sticks with me that like i cannot eat in even mediocre lighting it needs to be i need to be on a fucking movie set to be able to see like i don't even yeah that's funny though i'm trying to think like when i would ever be eating where you can't see you know that restaurant where they you do eat in the dark yeah that's ridiculous so your other senses are heightened and all that shit uh i had a buddy when he's like

it's i mean because they had like blind servers, I think, to like one restaurant. The servers would be blind. It's like they I mean, he's like, you just get you're just getting punched in the face. The whole time is just like, and you're like, there's no one knows what's happening at all. And I mean, you pay like a premium for it, too. Oh, yeah. You just come out, your hair's all messy. You're like, I don't know what happened.

And how is the, uh, the, you're down with the drive-in, uh, like setup or is it, you know, you're tolerating it or you actually like it? Uh, it's me. I don't want to go just start doing them and be my thing, but like we, they're awesome man. And you know, what's funny is Chicago. I just did Chicago and it was one of the best comedy experiences i've ever had and the one that i'll remember forever i walk out there's like 500 cars you can't even see to the back and then right when you walk out

i mean everybody's flashing their lights honking their horn it was just a beautiful thing and they did honking for their laughs so they would honk instead of because you can't hear the laughs right and i'll be honest with you not that it wasn't that bad i actually think i would prefer it because it's at least something you're at least getting some kind of feedback and you do get you gotta you gotta like fill it out you gotta like like it was an adjustment to go all right you gotta learn to like people gonna honk at weird times you gotta just talk over those honks but just the fact that there's some energy going on in this show instead of just you talking to nothing uh i actually really enjoyed it and uh it was i'll remember it for the rest of my life that's the whole point you know

of this is to get to still be doing shows and And I'm going to be taking a special at the end of October. So it's kind of – I got to get – I had to get some reps and kind of get going. But I also did want to just like, you know, during this time, it's going to be a time that you're probably never going to forget. So might as well hit, you know, I want to see it all. Absolutely. See it all COVID, go experience it all and see how weird it gets and, you know. Are you doing a special – are you doing a special are you doing a

driving special are you doing in a club no i think it'll be outside outside yeah outside but with chairs tables they'll be like as regular as possible but outside like uh that's the plan yeah that's the plan for it and then so i, I mean, obviously, we're seeing the Titans were going to play last weekend, too. So, you know, you never know. We're going to play a little answer the Internet. If you got if you got a minute, I think you did. You filmed one of them before. So now we're trying to roll it into a more of a podcast conversation.

So I just really gave up on it. Well, it's just you know, what's funny? It just doesn't work remotely. I don't know why. We're going to text you some stuff. Just text it back. I don't even think they care. Whatever, man.

All right. Number one, if you could incept one person, like the movie Inception, and plant an idea into their brain, who would the person be and what idea would you plant in there uh i just watched inception did you get it did you understand it i feel like that's a big like i stopped it took me three days and i would watch a little bit i'd stop it and just kind of just wrap my head around what's happening that's what happens when you get a 17 on your ACTs, that kind of stuff. Yeah, I mean, yeah. And this is the third time I've watched it. So if I had to put someone's – I don't know, man.

Put an idea in their head. Would you go with something for work? Would you go with something home? Would you do – incept your wife to think something? Would you – something with the Titans? Yeah. You know what? I would incept the idea to

Vanderbilt to actually commit to their sports and give the football team everything that they need. And their basketball team. That's why I would do this. Put this idea in. And then that person gets fired immediately. I'm like'm like god I chose the wrong person I love that you're such a big Vanderbilt guy

so when I was in college I dated a girl who went to Vanderbilt so I used to go a lot and it's fucking unbelievable place I never went to a game but I had a lot of fun at tailgates yeah it's the best city in the SEC that's actually accurate

i'll give you that um yeah all right number two you've been put in charge of running heck it's the afterlife for people not evil enough for hell what's the first torture that running hell I feel like I like the idea that they could you know could you see could you see

I like you know what it'd be it'd be a roller coaster ride that says heaven and then right when you get to the top, it just goes, it goes, it goes right back down. That's the most evil answer we've ever gotten. It's a long ride up that goes, you know what? I did it.

And then the guy really gets to talk to everybody else. Everybody's going like, we did so good. I want them long enough that they're talking, going like, you know what? We were good. And that's why we're, I mean, they're really motivating each other just to, and one guy the back's like i just don't i don't even know how i made it he's like this makes more sense because this makes more sense all right what would your awkward jeopardy interview story be they come back from commercial break they're like nate nate from nashville like tell us your story you have one big moment to tell alex trebek and the nation what would your story be

uh i mean i got a 17 on my acp and i'm just like i shouldn't be he's like this makes so much sense like after i've gotten no after i get no answers right i think i would want to come back and i go hey man i want to explain myself i shouldn't be on this show i don't know how i got here this is embarrassing i've been trying to like give you signals during the show to go like get me off this i was supposed to be on wheel of fortune i took a wrong turn i ended up on yeah yeah all right If you could be the patron saint of something, what would it be?

Hey, patron saint. Yeah. What is the page? The page like St. Valentine is the patron saint of love. Yeah. Okay. Some sick meat would be saying I'd be the patron saint of

you know, what am I? Of parking? I don't know. Are you a good parker? I'm an unbelievable parallel parker. Dude, I don't think I've ever had to do the pull out and you pull back in. Start over? I've never had to do that. I'm a great parker.

I did. In New York, I was touching two cars once. Really? When you get in and York. I, uh, I was touching two cars once. When you get in and you're like, I don't think I can get out. I don't know how I got in, but I don't think I'm going to be able to get out of here. There's no better feeling. You had a car in New York. I did my dad. We got his a car that he, when he was about to get rid of an old car,

he just like, let me have it up there for, you know, probably four months, basically until it was fell apart and then it's and i uh and it was kind of a long car and i was able to get it in and i remember just i was like i got to get back for these these people are going to be curious if they say when i moved to chicago uh i moved there first to start comedy me and my buddy we move uh we're both from, you know, now Nashville. And so we're both like, oh, we go to the city, big city. We ain't seen nothing. And we see someone back into a car and leave. And I mean, we're like, this is a hidden run.

And I mean, we are trying to run down to get the license plate number. I mean, just the pure and after you live in a city you're like dude we are in psycho can you imagine going to that hey excuse me you bumped the rear bumper of that other car and he's like what even that guy would be like what who cares yeah yeah this is what it is you're like i'm sorry all right last one here uh which reality TV show would you be best on? You know, I'm not trying to think like I'm not a survivor. Oh, I think you'd be terrible at Survivor. I'm not a survivor.

I can play some games. I can play some games. I just don't know the games. What does that mean? I can play some games and survive. I've never really watched Survivor. My wife watches it. I just feel like, you know, when you're stuck out in the wilderness or whatever i think you'd be all right i lose i love the the mental games of everything though i think i would be good

because isn't survivor really big about getting like making people think one thing and i think i can talk anybody into anything and i think so like well as a comedian i think i could get you to come with me and really trust me and i mean my job is to be like we're all friends yeah my job is if you leave if we hang out and you leave i see someone after the show i they leave and they're like we're gonna hang out probably forever yeah i can give you that in much intensity and be that involved in things it isn't that's what survivors about i mean the game stuff is is I'll be fine I've never thought of it that way you're like this is kind of disheartening because like I think that when we talk I'm like me and Nate would be like you're just tricking us well this is the first time we've met right that's so true though man I I do I

remember thinking that when we talked to like Bill and some like the masters of it, we're like, wow, like he's like he was really into that. And you realize it's all material and it's all part of the fucking show. And I was like, oh, no. Well, it's you can tell. I'm talking about like when you do like a quick me. Us. Yeah. Yeah. We've been talking to you guys forever. And you guys are kind of with all of us.

New York comics. Right. So it's not you, but it's it's yes it's but if you go and do like one-off kind of stuff or you're doing yeah it is you're going in you're putting on a show or an act right you can really do that and i would think it's a politics people would vote for you nate i'm gonna i'll run on just it's just everything i run in hollywood's a nightmare i'll run on david price is good yeah i'll run on that i'll run on David Price is good. Yeah, I'll run on that. I'll run on telling people vote or don't vote. Do whatever you want.

It would work. Who cares? The drive-in show, what do we got? We got dates coming up? Coming up. Going through October. All of October. The one-night-only drive-in tour. You can catch Nate all across the country.

The podcast is out now, and, of course, Tennessee Kid is still out there, and it's just one of the best specials ever. Did you know that when you recorded that, you were like, I fucking smashed this? I thought the stand-ups was going to be, the half hour was going to be real bad. Really? I thought it was going to be real bad. Dude, you're an idiot.

When I try and like introduce you to people even though you're stupid you are you're dumb if you thought that was bad you're not good at this job there are there are very few people i have to introduce you to anymore yeah but like when i'm like you got you got to see this special i always show stand-ups first because it's like it's only a half hour right so like have you thought about that have you thought about doing shorter shows? Like I know the hour is kind of like the hour long special, but the way the world is going,

like Andrew Schultz has had so much success just doing like quick YouTube clips. And it's like, sometimes I think an hour might be sadly too much for like the regular audience out there now. I could see. I definitely don't think that's a bad idea. Now here's where I think you separate yourself from that.

There's a point where it's like all this kind of quick clip, all this kind of world of quick clips. None of that's memorable. You couldn't tell me one of those videos you liked that you saw. You could tell me all the jokes that you liked from my special. So what I'm trying to create is a longer lasting thing. I'm not trying to do a quick fix. It's hard to do. It's hard to sometimes not get into that, that you want to go like, well, I want that instant feedback and stuff like that. And you got to sit here and go, you know what? I'm here to,

I love standup. I love building my act. If you came and paid to see me live, you're not going to want to see 30 minutes. You'd want to see longer. Now I could see specials being 45, 50 minutes. Like, I don't think that's, I'm not saying you don't do that, but I keep all that stuff off any, any of those videos. Cause it's like, whatever I look at, like anything I come up funny is going to go, should go into the standup. Yeah. Yeah. You know, especially, I mean, the podcast is like, we try to be funny. We're being loose. That's not this crazy thing. Everything else needs to be protected

so it's a surprise to you. Then it's a crafted joke. It's very hard to create a brand new hour. That art is getting lost a little bit in the fact that people can go on stage now and do all crowd work.

I'm not trying to trash anybody's all kind of i'm not trying to trash anybody like but it's like all kind of tricks is how i look at it to be like you know what's really hard to do an hour an hour of material that works that takes an extremely long time it's very hard to do you're not i don't need to pull the audience in on it i'm not like you know it's not like i could pull anybody on stage and make fun of them and everybody would, because everybody's bullies, they would all laugh at that. But it's, you know, it's like, it's hard to do an hour. And there's, there's a lot of really funny comics in New York and especially young comics.

And I think you got like Joe List, Norman, Sam, Sam real, like those guys, it's like these guys that are doing these hours and actually those are the that's the stand-up comedy and I think there's going to be more people are going to want to see that because it's like that's a whole you know I don't know it's not as quick you know you're just like that's all you got about 50 videos to hopefully one sticks in someone's mind I'd rather just I present you I've been working on this for two years, years. And then, you know, that makes a lot of sense.

And what a ringing endorsement for Nate's podcast. None of the funny shit's going to be on there. I'm putting it all on. Guys, save it for standup. Don't you worry. This podcast is a real snore. You did. You were saying the other day, though, right,

how you threw a perfect game once when you were a kid? I threw a no-hitter. No-hitter, no-hitter. Still, man. At what age? How old? 12. Holy shit, that's got to be long.

In the next year is when I got a – I thought I got a home run off a walk, and then I was just ball three, which is a big, I have a joke about that. I got a inside the park. I went off a walk for just dump to go. And then you struck out. It was only then I immediately struck out. And that's what they said. They go, they go, who's that?

They go, that's the kid that threw that. No hitter left. You said you still have the ball, right? Oh, I would save that forever. I still have the ball. Yeah, would save that forever i still have the ball and yeah i still have it but you don't know if it's the ball i was gonna say if i lost it i'd be like well this is another ball there's a little yeah i it's the ball it says philly's 1990s when i would have done it and close enough i didn't but i thought it said no i thought the ball said no hitter but i can't remember if it did or not so that's that's the

thing i mean look there's a great chance someone one day goes you never do a no hitter and i'm like ah that's right so i i always leave that up for option but as of right now i have a no hitter at 12 years old yeah i love it man thanks for the time as always dude awesome dude great seeing y'all thank you so much nate see you soon big thanks to nate uh he's just if you if you if you ask me like you know ati genie you can have one trait of another person nate's voice nate's cadence yeah see we're similar in so many ways from our butts to our fucking brains um but you know what i mean like like to me that's like that's steph curry's jump shot that's lebron's fucking physique that's you know tom brady's fucking hair plugs whatever uh what the hell was that you know the greatest thing about each person don't bring his hair plugs

patrick mahomes has to live up to this 10-year deal and then get another one. Live up to that. And then he's in Tom Brady's conversation. That's crazy. It is crazy. That's crazy. Crazy.

But yeah, Nate's cadence. It's like, I mean, because it's not even just about professional success. Like I said, hanging out in a room with that guy, every time he opens his mouth, people are laughing at him. Yeah. Because he's just like, yo, man. Like just chill. It's just like it makes you laugh. All right.

Now we got Adam Brody on the show. He tried to keep up. He said he was going to eat a baby. Like I feel like he did. Yeah, he did. He did keep up. He like stooped down to our level and we tried to class it up a bit and meet him halfway. And the result is magic.

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No? And Features sent over a bunch of free ones, and they've got like – Cleaned it up for you? Yeah, they did. They got the – like dress socks. They got athletic socks. They got short socks, long socks, like ankle socks. Golf socks.

High socks, golf socks. And all my socks are like – they kind of – they're not the right fit, and they fall down. Nothing like that with features. It stops it from bunching, slipping, or sliding down. They have anatomical designs that conforms to your left and right foot. They got the left and right sock. It's none of that fucking, what's that called?

The left sock, right sock. Yeah. And it's not just an L and an R. It's not just like, you know, it actually fits your left and your right foot. So you might have been wearing that. I go against the time. I go against the grain. It's like someone who's like, I just need to control my life today.

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Adam Brody, what's up, babe? Hey. How we doing, man? What's up, man? I like the shaggy look going. I feel like it's working for you, man. Oh, thanks. It's, you know, I don't know.

It's easier than shaving. You know what's bullshit, though? Pretty people like him. You knew going into that it was going to work. You were like, I'll just not shave, and I'll get long hair, and I'll look fucking awesome. Who cares? Facts.

You didn't take a risk to do that. No, none. None. I got a terrible shot at how you look compared to yours. Come on. Look at this versus you. Some people, I'm trying to move some screen stuff around so I can get a good look at your versus you some people i'm trying to move my my some screen stuff around so i can get a good look at your mug but um great uh some people would disagree with you you know

you know i have what's called a neck beard yeah i got that too where i get a lot there i got a taliban here nothing i couldn't even i could never i could never connect this so but I you know I don't know the funny thing is too like oftentimes all not often but you know I tend to just not shave or go get a haircut when I'm not working and then half the time I'll get a job that it's good that I had some facial hair right so I always feel like everybody got a chance to kind of do it this time I feel like was this a quarantine thing or was this just a regular thing no this is kind of do it this time. Yeah, was this a quarantine thing or was this just a regular thing? No, this is kind of a quarantine. This is just like I'll keep going until election or a job or something.

You're just open-ended right now. You got big plans election night? Yeah. You're going to be sitting there. The election was a good drop-dead day. Like, at the election, I got a shave to go. A lot of people are using that as the benchmark for some fucking reason. Yeah, yeah, because it's who knows after that. All bets are off. election i got a lot of people are using that as the benchmark for some fucking reason yeah yeah because it's uh who knows after that all bets are off honestly that's true you might need that

we talked before right i met you guys before right yeah yeah clearly memorable i remember no i just didn't know uh i know there's a lot of i don't know on kfc rated a lot of shows but i remember you guys no yeah i For Ready or Not, which I still watch regularly, by the way. Which is such a great movie. Such a great movie. I think it's one of the more underrated movies in the last five years, I would say.

Thanks. And actually, you know what? I disagree with the term underrated. Because everyone who's seen it loves it, so it's not underrated. It's underappreciated. I agree with you, and actually it has fantastic reviews. Right, right. It's a very well-reviewed movie. It's like Only the Brave is another one I'd put on that list,

and there's one other one I forget. Only the Brave. Only the Brave. What's that? That's Josh Brolin and Miles Teller, a firefighter movie. I have that movie. I have never cried. I have never cried at a movie harder than when Miles Teller, if you remember, walks into the gym.

I was weeping uncontrollably, like ugly crying at a movie all by myself. I took out my phone and I started filming myself because I was like, this is ridiculous. Look at me right now. This is absurd but i would imagine as an actor uh a movie like that or any project that you know everyone who sees it likes it but it's just a matter of getting it to the to the the masses it's got to be one of the more frustrating things like if people don't like a movie i don't know whatever it didn't work out but when it's like this is great but only you, a few of you have seen it. That's got to drive you crazy. Right, it's going, I'm catching on. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, it's true. And then, you know, of course, on the flip side, I'll see a bunch that really catch on. I'm like, that kind of sucks. Yeah. Right. You know, happy for everyone involved in business. And, you know, it's, but you never know totally what's going to catch on. Though, I always have a pretty good idea the quality of what i'm

going into you know i've been a little surprised 20 this way 30 that way but basically i've never thought like oh this movie sucked it's great or vice right so do you have a movie we interviewed ken jong forever ago and he called i forget i forget the movie is called vampires suck and it's like a scary movie, but for Twilight, it made fun of the whole vampire genre teen shit. I mean, I think it's got a literal 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, and Ken Jeong was in it. And he was like, yeah, that was my yacht movie.

He's like, I knew that movie sucked. I just wanted to check. Sure, sure, sure. Do you have one of those? Yeah. Yeah. have one of those? Yeah. Yeah. And the title is? And who was the director and producer and co-star who was on that film with you?

I don't want to say, but, you know, I've done, yeah, I've got that. You know, I mean, there's a lot of reasons you you take a job you know and uh some of those are artistic and some of those are uh uh financial or logistical and um you know i don't want to throw anyone under the bus but but i know i understand for sure well the description of the latest movie kid detective also has john buzzing uh for probably multiple reasons adam i might be your biggest fan yeah the kid detective just like read the exact description because it does jump out and uh i think unfortunately the second half is what really jumps out of john yes it really speaks to me not the solving mysteries aspect because i'm just i'm not great at that a once

celebrated kid detective now 31 continues to solve the same mysteries between hangovers and bouts of self-pity well the hangovers and bouts of self-pity is really where he's he's like yeah this one talk this you're speaking my language here but it does sound it's like it's a great tagline that i think a lot of people probably could relate to in a weird way. Let me tell you, it's a really good movie. I'm proud of it. This was a passion project. It took like five years to get made. A friend of mine wrote and directed it.

He shared the first act with me like six years ago. And then came back with the full script like a year later. And then we tried to get it made. And it was kind of a lot of twists and turns. And I thought we were. And then it seemed like we never would and i was like i just turned 40 and i'm like if i don't play the kid detective while i'm 39 i'm out you know and then finally and then and then it miraculously got financed like fairly healthfully hopefully it's not a word i don't think but um in a healthy way healthfully. I give it to you.

Okay. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. But anyway, and it was like a, it already just to be making it to be on set after six years. And I've done, I've done that with other things and they never got me, you know, and to be after, you know, have this vision and then five, six years later, be on set was, was truly surreal. And then we wrapped in october last year and then there's this weird thing where we just finished uh post-production and then they're like sony sony bought it and they want to put it out and then literally like that was

three weeks ago a month ago and then and like we're like cool what do they want to do with it they're like we don't know don't worry about it and we're like well we were worried and we were curious and they're like no no don't just just don't worry about it anyways two weeks you know and then two weeks ago no week and a half ago they're like they're gonna put it on like 850 screens in a week and a half holy shit really so it's been this like they've cut the trailer last you know like end of last week did the poster but anyways all to say i love this movie i really do it's it's like personal to me and it's not for everyone but i think you guys um you know it's sort of a niche kind of tone

and audience but i think you guys would like it i do what what exactly when i come back again yeah i'll know if you guys see it well i'll get the review i can promise you john will i predict i predict one out of the two of you at least will really like it. What exactly is a kid detective? What does that, what qualifies as that? You know, it's not,

it's not something I was like, that is not a genre that I like devoured as a kid, but like a Hardy boys, Hardy boys would be a kid detective encyclopedia, Brown, Nancy drew the raw kid detect. Right. And so this was a you

know obviously it's a heightened fictional world right kid used to be a star solving trivial mysteries and it's 12 year old kind of mayberry town when he's 12 and then um a girl his secretary was uh his age got kidnapped and they never found her and he couldn't help and he's kind of um uh been you know uh down on his luck ever since and he's my age, and he's kind of been, you know, down on his luck ever since, and he's my age now, or almost, and, you know, as the thing says, solving trivial stuff, and then a girl comes in and asks for him to solve the murder of her boyfriend, and so it's his first murder case. The heavy stuff, yeah, yeah.

And, yeah, it's this very, like, the comedy is very innocent on one hand it's like it got a very like everyone is naive in the movie and at the same time it goes to as it deals with some very dark subject matter so um it's this interesting contrast that i'm i'm i'm really fan of did you ever fuck with doogie hauser when you were a kid no really that was my time no yeah see i kind of throw that in it wasn't detective it's obviously more doctor but i always thought a doogie in there oh that was a big doogie yeah yeah yeah no what did i do like boy wonder stuff um kid power stuff no i mean did you do my secret identity no i don't even know what that is jerry o'connell he was like a teenager who has like superpowers and which is like i mean that was like the coolest shit i've never even heard of that yeah that's

that's some old school shit that's yeah that's like that was probably like a little before my time but i remember catching the tail end of it but yeah there's something about that whole like idea of like like a little 21 jump street ish or whatever where you're like kids kind of like in a in a scene that you shouldn't be in or whatever uh so yeah i mean it seems like seems like some cool shit um we also and and it's also no no you let it rip i don't know i was just gonna say that the world is really cool it's a very um it kind of reminds me of like i've been using like it's like chinatown meets rushmore kind of and it and um for an indie for a lower budget movie to kind of transport you to another kind of uh very fictional i mean relatable of course but uh

other completely other other uh atmosphere is uh i don't know well i think the world can use that now i don't know you just go to town yeah anybody who can like take me away from this one and bring me pretty much anywhere else like what's behind door number two i don't know but it's probably gonna be better i think that during quarantine uh new girl has been a huge like bingeable rewatchable and uh you are one of the i mean many uh stars who have gone through that series and every time we talk to someone who has done a an appearance that may be one episode to a season long arc whatever everyone to a man or woman always says how it like was if not the maybe the most fun they've like ever had on a cast did you have a similar experience with new girl uh i had fun i mean i

primarily work with zoe and she was uh very very nice to me um and so yeah i mean you actually right now your appearance is very much your character that's true um um and uh yeah no i mean they're they're very nice you know i uh uh uh but i don't know i'm still surprised i know that i don't know i don't know what i'm allowed to give up but i know that was i've heard not even in mine but i've heard that was a uh they had their difficulties on that set i'm surprised i'm surprised i'm surprised that even though i had a lovely time was barely there but but i'm surprised i'm surprised i'm surprised that even though i had a lovely time was barely there but but i'm surprised that is the fountain of uh personal joy interesting that uh it's more of the fans yeah i guess i guess i did i did kind of mischaracterize that

i guess it was more that once they did their appearance fans will come up to them and you could you could have won an oscar for something else and been like what about that one time on new girl yes yeah 100 that yes it just it was it a party not exactly but like do you know is it a great show and was everyone like lovely to me absolutely yeah yeah um but fans will still remember you for that fans that is a big that's like a very big part of my resume yeah that's what we had josh gad on josh gad's on in it for like 15 seconds and he's like he's like dude i'm a frozen i'm this i'm that he's like all people come to have asked you about like what it was like being on bear claw bear claw bear claw yeah but you deal with a very specific issue on that show that we were actually just arguing about recently staying in touch with an ex.

Is there an actual reason to do it or are you just trying to get back together with them? Hmm. I mean, I do. You're way in this one here. You're lost in thought. Yeah. It's complicated.

You know, I mean, every situation is different. I think it's probably hard, given that at least one person probably didn't want it to end. Very few breakups are 100% mutual, and there's no – so there's that. But I mean, you got people who certainly collaborate. Let's say you're in a band. Let's say you're, I don't know.

Like there's people that go on. So like you think if you have a reason to maybe reconnect professionally or whatever, a kid, whatever it may be, sure. But if there's no reason to, do you think that there's any you know i guess i guess as long i guess as long as and again i don't know how there would totally be as long as there's like so little sexual sexual chemistry that it is just like easily quantifiable as dead then and you know completely un-electric then sure it's honestly it's gotta be like for my wife or something but if anyone likes each other a little bit it's it's that it's like i don't know but that's what makes it so sad too that's what makes a breakup so sad you're like you know it's like well could we still be you were my best friend for a long time what if we you know is there a way to

still be friends and it's like in your heart of hearts you know like no probably not we either got to be fucking best friends or strangers i don't want to talk to you that's so bleak man that's so desolate and terrible kevin always says it in the in the hardest way where he's like he's like the person you loved the person you were closest to in the world decided that their life would be better if you weren't in it that's really that's just a that's just a choice they made that's the black and white nobody died nobody disappeared it's just like i could have my life with you or without you and i choose without you and everyone who writes a movie about that moment in their life always or like everyone who like authors that moment of them getting i don't know it's like i've seen a lot of in so many movies

when the lead is nursing a breakup it's like the the truth they get to is I never loved them anyway. I was chasing an ideal. When it's like maybe you did 90% of the time and it just, you know, they didn't like your breath or I don't know. I don't mean that as arbitrary, but I just mean like, no, it just wasn't enough for them. They didn't, but for you it kind of maybe was. You had this one annoying habit yeah i don't i don't i don't mean the habit that was sort of that's not no no no i agree i agree with you

love them yeah you love them and they didn't and like you know you're not going to go back in hindsight and realize that actually you didn't love them. No, it just hurts, man. So what do you think is worse? It just hurts. Do you think that being dumped or dumping is the harder emotional toll? Because I think traditionally it's the person getting dumped, but I think there's a lot of weight to being like, I don't want to hurt you, but I cannot have you in my life anymore. Yeah. You know, I would say, I think this is so obviously this is anecdotal. But for me, on one hand, I think breaking up is harder, actually. Yeah.

To the executioner. You know what I mean? It's actually harder in the moment. Right. But I think even if your heart's over getting dumped your ego might never get over yeah yeah but don't you also think there's a that kind of smarts longer whereas like i think you get over the morning of like having to end something because ultimately you're happy you did yeah and um you know this is not to say i mean obviously like it depends on if you've ever been you know, this is not to say, I mean, obviously, like. It depends on if you've ever been, you know, crushed versus done the crushing.

But also, I don't know how many times I've been the dumper, but I don't remember them. They're not memorable moments in my life. But the dumps you remember? The dumpies. When I was getting dumped. I have vivid stories about all those because those moments stick with me. Adam, there was one time my girlfriend and I went to a bar, and I had no idea a dump was coming, like none whatsoever.

And she's like, I just think we should be done. And she let me order a drink beforehand. So I was like, okay. I'm heartbroken. And then the waitress comes, and she puts down two beers and my ex-girlfriend at this point was like she's like you don't have to stay and i was trying to play it off like we'll be friends i was like no that's cool no big deal whatever and then i started drinking the beer and like as i was drinking the beer i was crying and then i was like if i i was like if i put this down and like just keep

like hang out here that's an insane person move to do so i just kept chugging it but because i was crying i couldn't swallow it all so it started spilling down the side of my mouth and i'm just weeping trying to one-touch this beer. And then I got up pretending none of it had ever happened. And I was just like, all right, see you later. Make it stop! Make it stop! God, take it away. It is the worst story.

And like, yeah, so yeah, I don't want to dump someone. But also, I don't want that fucking memory in my life. Please put that into a movie one day. I'd like to amend my answer to just say that I think it wholly – whether it's harder to be the dumpy or the dumper, but I just think it wholly depends on the relationship and how much that relationship means to you. Yeah, of course.

The end of it you're on. You're right. It meant nothing to her. I think when you get dumped and you can be like i'm gonna i'm gonna hit the gym you can kind of take it as like an inspirational thing whereas when you're dumping it's like oh i'm just crushing this person okay next uh we're gonna hit you with a couple questions before you go uh it's a game we could we could call answer the internet these are questions from our listeners over the last decade or from the deep dark corners of the internet to really just kind of make your brain think so let's let it rip okay this one is on topic so we'll start with this is it acceptable to break up via text

you need a qualifier for that i mean no because by by virtue of breaking up you probably should know them better than just attack text. It's not a breakup. You can ghost someone by text or whatever. To actually end a relationship with text, no, you got to own it. I feel like as we go further in time though, I think that's becoming more and more acceptable

even though it probably shouldn't. But I feel like if you asked that question five years ago, it's a hard no. And then you ask it now and it's like, I don't know, our we text all day long yeah yeah yeah i still think there's something about having to if you do it nah okay fair enough and yet i say no yeah and yet i say no um okay if you had one abusive and you're just fleeing go ahead if you had one free throw and if you make it you get a million dollars if you miss it you can never send a text again do you take it no no can't shoot no what what would be your uh sport or activity or whatever

anyone who takes that shot is insane. Like, unless you're LeBron James. Steph Curry, man. Steph Curry's head. Yeah, yeah, right, right, right. No, if you're a professional basketball player and you make it more than 50% of the time, but then again, you might have lots of millions of dollars and you don't need that money either.

What if I make that number 10 million? 100 million. What number does Adam Brody need to take that shot? To never text again. That's the risk, at least. But you might walk into, what, a quarter of a billion? million what what number does adam brody need to take that shot to never text again that that's the risk at least but you might walk into what a quarter of a billion you're saying no to 250 million adam can i do like can i do whatsapp can i can i no no no text communicating nothing no writing communicate talk on the phone to everybody i wouldn't do i don't think for any amount

a billion dollars adam a billion dollars, Adam? A billion dollars. All right, all right. But I'm probably going to miss is the thing. You have to factor that I'm probably going to miss. And I'm an okay shot, but I'm still not over 50%. I could practice for a while. I could probably get pretty good. Yeah, you should start now.

Because once I get $200 million, I'm coming to your house. But I have to assume I miss. So it's just that that's true i never actually think about that see that's very uh you know that's negative thinking adam you don't have to assume you're gonna miss but it's also it's it's almost a guarantee i miss it is a one percent chance i hit the shot maybe why just you're not confident even really i i mean you're not practiced you couldn't work up to 50, 50. Look, if I was, if I was 12 at the CYO in the corner,

three spot drain money, 32 on the free throw line. Nervous was something wrong. What would Adam Brody's like? What one sport or skill or activity or whatever? What would you, what would you be confident in to put that on the line? Could be anything.

Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I don't like those. I just don't like that. I don't like that. That risk. Very risk averse.

But, um, I mean, the free throw is good as anything, you know? I mean, I, I,

I surf a bunch, but I don't know how to quantify that into a make or break situation. Well, if there was like a, you know, you have to catch a wave. Am I a better surfer than a basketball player? Yes. What if I said you got to catch a wave, I don't know, in the next like three or four waves or something like that and like ride it, you know, all the way.

I don't know how, you know, surfing is kind of weird. That's what I'm saying, but yeah, I could do that. You know what's crazy? Have you watched that show on Netflix, Magnetic? No. Oh, is it the extreme sports yeah i just watched the surfing part yeah i had a toe in that fucking those waves are insane and i thought that usually you have to wait for like point break like the 50 year storm those waves are like almost always there it's insane and there's a new and there's a new spot like that spot in portugal i think it's in portugal is um is like the last like three four five years

every year that breaks the world record before that it was like jaws in maui before that it was mavericks in northern central california um anyways point is like they're kind of finding these spots all over the globe and geotracking stuff and what's the biggest i don't know if there's any more have you ever ridden a wave like of even close to like that magnitude no that's crazy i'm not even remote that's a different sport yeah and that's a sort of like that's like free solo you know rock climbing stuff yeah um where it's like i want to test i want to attempt death and you know and it's like, I want to test, I want to attempt death. And, you know, and it's, it seems amazing, but it's not, I don't have the constitution remotely for that.

It's nuts. A couple more here. All right, let's see. If you ate yourself, would you double in size or disappear? Head down brain buster. You got to be high for this one i mean i think you're going to disappear you know certainly not going to die you're certainly not going to fucking double in size you're going to disappear because you're going to die and then you're going to erode you know

you're going to decompose do you have any interest in tasting human flesh? I got a baby. You want to eat the baby, Adam? A little bit. Like veal? A little bit. It's so soft and squishy. There's a part in Snowpiercer where Chris Evans is giving a monologue in the end about how like he had to eat kids

and he knows babies or people because they're so you know they're starving and he knows babies taste best and like I'm sure that's true

that's beautiful by the way did you know Chris Evans was covered in tattoos I did not no he posted on his

Instagram story the other day he's doing a backup into his pool chest tattoos everywhere of course okay Adam if you had to get a lip tattoo what would it say oh my gosh uh lip tattoo just i guess it's fucking just like vote democrat i you you would if i were you i would go something OC related on that one. Cause it's already such a ridiculous thing anyway.

If you were just like, bam, it says like Seth Cullen or whatever your name was. Yeah. I guess it would just be like my name and social security. So like, like, you know, medical information, you know, blood type, et cetera. All right. Let's see our last one here

we'll go okay wait we got two more one what is the perfect amount of time for sex just just length of time yes correct oh there's i mean the joy they all have their place it's true is what i would say i don't think i certainly don't think there's a whatever no no but it's like cereal like there's a bunch of different cereals that i like but i got my favorite you know right right well let me can i ask you oh boy this is uh you can ask follow-up go ahead does sex include all you know warm-up start to finish okay so yep start to finish this motherfucker's gonna say like 55 minutes or something no i don't know you know six hours

i don't know you know i hesitate to say only because i know I'm going to see it in a fucking article. That's why we ask online. That's why we ask these questions. You know, I'd say, you know, I'm not really interested in going, you know, in seeing too far over an hour. What that's like. I was going to say 13 minutes, an hour. I was going to know. I know I'm, I'm not interested in seeing anywhere past that.

So like 30 minutes? I mean, I'm interested in seeing it like I'm interested in seeing the afterlife. I got no shot. That's like surfing those 90-foot waves. I don't have the constitution. Likewise. Likewise. Likewise.

Listen. I don't know. All right. One more. Where do's trying to i don't know all right one more where we go i don't know last one perfect time i don't know well 20 30 all right i like that 20 minutes 30 seconds 25 minutes 25 done write it down a little long for me but i get it it's a fair answer last one do you say God bless you after every sneeze? No, but I sneeze as loud as I fucking can. Yeah. I let him rip.

How does my daughter? Yeah. I was going to say, that's some dad shit. And that's what my dad did. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to clear this room out. Whenever people are like, when they're like, and I'm like, your head's going to explode.

Let it out. Let it rip. I do this thing. I do try and catch it. I have some allergies. And so I sneeze, you know, more than average. And I try and catch it. And sometimes I'll just like break my nasal cavity by catching it halfway.

Right. Because I can stop myself sometimes in public and sometimes it just backfires and it's like terrible. I never try. And every single time I'm like cram. I basically cramming like it's crazy loud and then i'm just like i started shaking everywhere my father is he sneezes sneezes no less than seven times every single session and my mother my mother has this rage that's like i've been listening to this shit for 40 years i swear to god she's gonna kill 40 years. I swear to God she's going to kill him one day. I swear to God she's going to murder him.

And maybe the kid detective can be on the case to figure it out. We appreciate the time, man. Thanks so much. Kid Detective is the new movie. Thanks again, guys. Yeah, man. I'm happy to hear it. It's in 850 theaters and whatever.

So it's a big release. That's really awesome, man. Congratulations. Appreciate it. Have a good one. We'll talk to you next time. Have a good one. It's fun to see you again. This is the soundtrack to my life. The soundtrack to my life.

To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. Uh-huh.

Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. No, no. Yeah. Yeah.