KFC Radio - Nate Bargatze, Vinny & Pauly, and Bringing Back Bash

Episode Date: April 11, 2019

Nate Bargatze (1:03:37) joins us to talk about his special: The Tennesse Kid, his glow-up, getting Taco Bell at 12:30am, his job driving around Patrice O'Neal's car when he couldn't find parking, intermittent fasting, and how he makes every word out of his mouth funny. The Jersey boys Vinny & Pauly (1:41:43) have a new show on MTV Double Shot at Love which the describe as "The Rachelor" basically the Bachelor meets The Challenge with a ton of hair gel. They also tell us about life after Jersey Shore, how the Situation is enjoying jail, if Kyrie is coming to the Knicks and when Gron is coming back to the Patriots. The Office (24:40) with topics from Ria (Blacked Eyed Peas), Kmarko (Cuban Missile Crisis), and Trent (Coffee). Voicemails (47:00) include lose your taste, marathon man on one minute man, and strangle a cat. Also, we may have cured AIDS.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's KFC Radio presented by Postmates, brought to you by Roman. Roman has done the unthinkable. They've done the impossible. Today, we saw the first ever picture of a black hole. More important than that, more impressive than that, is Roman figuring out the secret to longer-lasting sex. I think that is unquestionable. Right.

I saw that picture of the black hole back when Lord of the Rings came out. Absolutely. That's the eyesore on BFD. Did you see the digital top? It just came out. I am bringing BFD back. BFD. BFD. Yo, BFD, bro.

I didn't know if I could swear on this dick ad, so I said BFD. Big fucking deal. Dude, that black hole is just that thing. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fucking, it's just the digital touch thing. And scientists, such nerds, pumped that. I heard about that for a week.

It was the NFL schedule. I would have been embarrassed to release that. I would have been like, we gotta Photoshop this thing. It's gotta look a lot cooler than this. Put Thanos back there. Have a hand sneaking up. That probably cost a billion dollars and like 10

zillion years of research. And you got a fuzzy picture of a fucking, like a flickering flame it looked like. If you're not fixing my dick, fuck you, science. Seriously, science is doing bigger things over here with Roman. They have not figured out

just how to make sex last longer once. They figured out how to make sex last longer for your whole life when you use the Roman swipes. These numb your dick just enough so you can still enjoy it, still feel it. It doesn't pass it on to your partner

so they're not numb at all, but it just makes you last that much longer. And then as you use them over time, you just train yourself. It's like those edging videos. You know what I'm talking about. Oh yeah, you might catch a couple watched ones on those

on the shared account. Yup. So over the course of like, what was it, six months, I think they said it was 340% better. So you just open up the little packet, you swipe it on, you numb yourself up,

and you're good to go. You go to GetRoman.com slash KFC. Get your Roman swipes with free two-day shipping when you go to GetRoman.com. All right, big episode of KFC Radio right now. We got, later in the show, Nate Bargatze. Yes!

I like how I find out who's on the show, too. Nate Bargatze is finally airing. We did that interview last week. We also got Vinny and Pauly D from the Jersey Shore. Oh, my God. Heavy hitter episode. This is a big episode. Heavy hitter episode.

Yeah. Yeah, we're going in on this one. So, three of episode. Heavy hitter episode. Yeah, we're going in on this one. Three of my favorite people. This is the first time I got to meet Pauly D. And I'll tell you what, that hair in person, bro. It looks like the wall from Game of Thrones. I was nervous to ask him if he wanted

to cut it. I was like, is this going to be insulting? You want to cut that shit? He is just, I mean, I don't think you can insult Pauly D. He is just the nicest mean, I don't think you can insult Paulie. Yeah, Paulie's very good. He is just the nicest fucking guy in the world. Unflappable.

I don't even think he has any haters, but if he did, people will know. He's got a lot of connections. We did a little inner workings of Boston sports. Oh, yeah. Got a little something, something there. He's big time. He's got a lot of people's ears. He's behind the scenes, and he's plugged in.

Also, we did a little talk of the old school Providence Bars for everyone from southern New England who used to go to bars when they were 14. Shout out, Bar 1! And we did a little talk about them double teaming girls. Nate Margazzi stepped in. He did his thing in the way that only Nate can do it, where he just delivers everything he says is funny. So a couple major interviews,

but first, big time breaking news on KC Radio. That's my breaking news noise. That was pretty good, actually. Franklin and Bash is back. That's so fucking awesome. We brought back Franklin and Bash. This is a fact. We, you, the listeners, brought back Franklin and Bash. We did a fact. We, you, the listeners

brought back Franklin and Bash. Anything is possible! That is 100%. When it comes to Barstool stuff, I'm always like I don't know. We take a lot of credit for a lot of things and it's like, come on. I guess it's not whenever someone at Barstool takes credit, I'm like

it's just weird timing. It's coincidence. Honestly, most of the time we they are correct we wield more power than i think we are aware of or are willing to accept just ask my bookie bro yeah yeah that's that fucking mark mark davis doppelganger you fucking idiot when that guy popped on a live stream and that was him. Dave. The worst idea ever to go live. That was. That's the man who's not built for live streams. Dave.

I mean, Dave went Game of Thrones on that and just scorched earth. He went Dracarious on that shit. I mean, that company, it's over. He ruined the company. It was. I don't think I would be able to sleep if I was Dave. I like to fucking get at my enemies, but like, I mean, he just probably took a lot of people's jobs away. No. to fucking get at my enemies but like i mean he just probably took a lot of people's jobs away no i i heard that the uh one of our head sales people was like there aren't even it's not like it's not like some lowly employee attacked him so there aren't enough employees there for them

to have lowly employees it's like 105 all right but i mean you ruined all five of them five people you live in costa rica big fucking deal Go get a job at a resort Okay you swayed me Go fucking rent jet skis For $50 an hour And they're like I think They are shitty as fuck

But I'm just saying I don't ever like To fuck with people To the point where it's like Well now I put you Out of a job I don't care Fuck people

Fuck people Fuck my bookie Oh I actually We got a lot to talk about today I got I got another Fuck people with Oh good CNBC thing There's got to fuck people with the CNBC thing. There's always plenty of time.

Remember the CNBC thing? The tipping thing? Oh, yeah. Okay, wait, wait, wait. One step at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time. Slow down.

It's a big episode. Take me on a composure. It's a marathon. Take me on a composure. Okay? Franklin and Bash first. Because we did that. We had to pat ourselves on the back first, John. We brought back Franklin and Bash first. Because we did that. We had to pat ourselves on the back first, John.

We brought back Franklin and Bash. Mark Paul Gosselaar, Breckenmire, the cult classic is back. When we interviewed Mark Paul, we were talking Saved by the Bell. We were talking Zach Morris. And at the end, my esteemed colleague, John Feidelberg, he said, Wait, wait, wait, before we're done, we've got to talk a little Franklin and Bash. Mark Paul Gosselaar lit up like a fucking Christmas tree. He was like, wait, dude.

Yeah, listen, that might be coming back. Like we got to talk because the thing we need to do is stir up some some people. We need to like have social media all about it. We're set. I've got the money. I've got the studios. I got the people like we just need to convince the producer, whatever it was. All we need is a little bit of social media presence.

Well, that episode dropped. We said tweet at whoever we need to. Tweet about Franklin and Bash. The hashtag. The movement. Bring it back. Bring it back. Bring it back.

Three months later. Almost three months to the day. We brought it back. And that episode was January 15th. It's April 10th. And Franklin and Bash is back. You are welcome, motherfuckers. And I am for sure

dropping a line to my buddy, MPG, because we talked about in the final season of Franklin and Bash, they were talking to the Chive. Well, I think it's only right that in this encore here, that Barstool swept it, because we did. At the very least, I'd like

to be in the movie. At the very least. I don't need a barstool storyline i'll play a tribe guy i don't give a fuck i will benedict donald this movie like a motherfucker i so everyone tweet again everyone who tweeted the first time tweet again do it again put john in the movie are fights in kfc gonna be in the movie or what i was gonna say that we need to be like the uh the villains, like the rival lawyers or some shit, like the bizarro Franklin and Bash. Fine.

We'll be the bad guys. Sure. And they can crush us or whatever. I'm into that as well. I'm into anything. I'd just like to be in this movie. I would also like a speaking part. Multiple lines, please.

I don't know if I'm good at memorizing things. So if you're into me improvising, sure. All the greats do. All the greats say, you know what? That scene wasn't even scripted. Script? No thanks. I'm gonna see how it goes. I'm off book. Thanks. But yeah,

everyone who tweeted at MPG and Breckenmire the first time, that coffin fucker. Tweeted him again, be like, we need the KFC radio guys in the movie. Franklin and Bash. Welcome. Never seen that shit,

but I'm a huge fan. Honestly, it's such great television because it's one of those shows that just doesn't take itself too seriously. It's a star-studded cast. It's Malcolm McDowell,

which isn't a, I don't think it's a name that rings a bell. But you'll know. You see him, you know that face. I know who the fuck that is. Yep.

Breckenmire, MPG, Heather Locklear. Woo, buddy! Um, I know, okay, never mind. Revising, I need a scene with Heather Locklear. Preferably a sexual one. There are, there are a bunch of, like, bit parts. I think DeVito might have a guest role. No, we're buds. We're in.

I forget who it was. How about a sex scene with DeVito and Locklear? Let's go. You wanna get nuts, Franklin and Bash? We're making a movie. We go NC-17 with this shit. I just want to check this real quick. I'm going to DM Mark right now. Jane Seymour's in it.

James Van Der Beek. Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, Motorboat and those tits. Tommy Chong, Jason Alexander. What? This is going to be the biggest movie ever. Some of those are smaller roles, not main characters. John, if they're in the movie, they're in the movie. What? This is going to be the biggest movie ever. Some of those are smaller roles, not main characters. John, if they're in the movie, they're in the movie.

Much like we will be, okay? So it's a monster cast. Can you believe? John Fylerberg. Yeah, I can't wait. Will Kumail Nanjiani, I forgot about. I can't wait for the billboard that has all the names at the bottom. KFC, fights. Put us in between DeVito and Kumail, please.

Not DeVito. I got DeVito and Kumail, please. Not DeVito. I got DeVito and Jason Alvarez mixed up. Sorry, Jason. Sorry, Jay. Or sorry, Danny. I mean, they're both short, chubby ball guys. Yeah. One's like 4'10", though.

One's probably like 5'8". Yeah, but he's shorter. Whatever. Once you're short, you're short. Exactly. We're all in the same boat. All right, so now we'll get into the fuck this portion of the show. I have a fuck this, and you have a fuck that. Okay. All right, I'll fuck'll get into the fuck this portion of the show. I have a fuck this,

and you have a fuck that. Okay, let's fuck this. All right, I'll fuck this, and you say fuck that. Okay. Fuck that, fuck this, and fuck that is brought to you by Postmates.

Fuck going out to pick up your own food. Fuck cooking your own food. Have it delivered by Postmates. People have started tweeting me their Postmates names, and I got one the other day. I'm not going to be able to dig it up on my Twitter, but, I mean, the names are just electric.

It's almost like made-up languages. Remember how they started it with, by the way, a tip of the cap to Postmates because this is going to be a savvy move. But remember how, like, a tip of the cap to you, sir. Like, there was a conspiracy that Starbucks was misspelling names wrong on purpose so people would tweet. That's a fact. Brilliant marketing.

Somebody tweeted one out yesterday. It was Pasady instead of Cassidy. Cassidy and it's a... People know that name. You're just writing Pasady and she took a picture and put it online. It worked. I think that's what Postmates does. Oh, here it is. Oh, you think? Yeah. Okay. I think it's smart.

This was Ajay Kumar. A-J-A-Y Kumar. That sounds like two names smashed together. Ajay Kumar. So he said, first time ordering Postmates, and the name did not disappoint. So tweet me who your latest Postmates are. Give me a screenshot at Postmates and use the promo code KFC. You get

$100 off your free delivery, $100 worth for the next seven days. So people are sometimes like, oh, I'm trying to save money. I don't want to pay the delivery fee. Well, now you don't have to. So now you can get your food cooked by a professional, not by your dumb ass, delivered to you with a whole whatever you know, whatever menu, whatever favorite restaurant you're ordering from, you get the food you want cooked by professionals brought to you and you're not paying any extra money because you get the delivery charge knocked out for free. You can also get groceries delivered to you.

Any of the 25,000 merchants that are down with Postmates, you can get it delivered from. It's not just restaurants and bars. It's all sorts of stores and places to get food, groceries, toiletries, whatever you need. It's the best. The best inventions is Uber. We talk about inventions all the time where it's air conditioner, remote control, clicker.

This is right up there. It really is. Top five that are alive. You could always order. Someone said to me, some non-believer said to me, what's the difference between Postmates and like just calling a place to have it deliver? Well, first of all, it's every place in the world is involved in this. Second of all, calling, speak on the phone.

That's crazy. I do that with my friends, not with my. No. I used to buy. No human interaction and you can get all your food. And then here's the thing. I'll tell you what No human interaction and you can get all your food. And then, here's the thing. I'll tell you what.

A lot of places, they don't deliver. So there's no like Taco Bell delivery, but there is Taco Bell on Postmates. I used to pay a kid $2 in college.

Yeah. And $2 every time just to make my delivery call for him. For you, yes. You got $100 off on that shit. Done. Go to Postmates, make your order,

use the promo code KFC, get $100 in free delivery credit. Fuck this company who created this condom box that requires four hands to open it. Now, I understand the sentiment. I appreciate the sentiment. Yeah. We're trying to promote consent. Awesome.

I'm all about consent. No forced sex over here. Big time. No rape guy. Same. Love the idea behind it. I would like to put my hat in that ring as well. On the record, not rapists. KFC Radio, the number one feminine, masculine, and

non-rape podcast in the world. But I think we're going a bit overboard here. So it's like, it's got like little iPhone things, basically. Little like iPhone finger, kind of. Okay. And you put your fingers this way, and I put my fingers that way, and you kind of interlock.

And that unlocks the box. Then you still have to get the wrapper open and everything. Oh, boy. Well, yeah. What are the chances your dick's even going to still be hard after this happens? Dude, sometimes I won't switch positions percent. I won't switch positions. Yes. Oh, I have no idea.

If I'm in, dude, not only switch positions, I won't even pull out. Like, I won't even, like, pull out to do another thrust. I stay all the way in. Like, I'm keeping this buried. And if you want to move, I'm, like, scooting with you sort of thing. Like, I am staying to the hilt, bro. Oh, you want to do doggy? Well, we started missionary.

We're finishing missionary. I'm a little tired and I might go limp if it comes out. Yo, I'm telling you, man. You get exposed to the air. Kills your boner. Oxygen kills boners.

Boners like semen. Semen has like three seconds exposed to the air. Or AIDS blood. AIDS blood. It what? AIDS blood. AIDS blood, it loses its AIDS? Yep. Once blood hits the air, your AIDS is done. Fun fact.

Yes. Important fact. Everyone with AIDS should just put their blood in the air and put it back in them. Wait, am I a scientist? Fuck those black hole guys. John just cured AIDS. Wait, no. Hang on.

Look, this is important To talk about this condom thing But this is more important I think we just figured Something out here You know You know how it was Just have like a highway

Exactly An open air highway Yes This How does this not work How does this not work Figure this out Brent You're smarter than I am

I think the air thing Just isn't Isn't true I'm almost positive Oh okay I'm almost positive I'm almost positive So cause like almost positive. I'm almost positive. That's why it's sexually transmitted because you're all up in there.

Didn't Kobe do something like that? To treat his knee, he pulled the blood out and he's spinning around? He put it in a centrifuge. That's blood, though. That's what psychos do. Maybe if it cures AIDS, too. But I think what they do is they keep it all. That's always not exposed to air. I think if we just open it up for a little bit. What I think what they do is they keep it all, that's always not exposed to air.

I think if we just open it up for a little bit, like what's the thing they do with kidneys? Kidney what? Dialysis. Dialysis. Dialysis just takes your blood out and puts it back in. Why don't we let it breathe a little bit? I think Kevin's wrong because this is genius.

If not, we just changed the world. Well, it's definitely a question. I'm on Zoc. I'm on Zoc. I'm on Zoc. Magic's got some time on his hands. Let's call him up. See if he's down for an experiment. I think he's already done it.

Whatever it is, I think he's done it. If you have AIDS and your blood hits the surface of the air, is the virus still alive? I'm enough right that the question's at least being asked. I didn't completely fabricate this. Answer. This is an important question. I hate what this is. An important question to discuss with your doctor. Well, it's an important question i hate what this is an important question just to discuss with your doctor well it's an important discussion question to discuss with the internet

zoc doc yeah i'm discussing with my doctor okay the hiv virus unlike some other viruses cannot survive outside the body for very long therefore once contaminated blood for example has dried the chance of getting infected by that blood is very low virtually all uh furthermore hiv is not transmitted through the air uh i don't know i was caught right all right what if i'm right what if we take it out piece by piece dry it up and then when it went it up again yeah yeah put it back in why don't we just give you someone else's blood that that's what i was gonna say i never understood that doesn't work get out all the bad blood get all some new blood in. Tell your heart, like, this is the new shit.

Keep pumping that good good. I don't get it. What's the big deal with AIDS? I think we solved it. You're welcome, world. Yeah, enough about the black hole. We just cured AIDS. I love how you just looked at me

and you're like, well, what's the answer to this one? I don't know. You read books and shit. You read books, bro. I'm just keeping it to myself. Dude, we started this episode saying you're welcome for brain Franklin and bash bag. Ten minutes later, shit. You read books, bro. I'm just keeping it to myself. We started this episode saying you're welcome

for brain Franklin and Bashback. Ten minutes later, we solve AIDS. Yeah, so. What a podcast. You're welcome. You're welcome. Now all we got to do

is eradicate this fucking nuclear code condom box. Because I'll tell you now, girls, guys, everybody, once you get peak erection, you got like five seconds to put it in yeah it's there's a small window where if you're not if you don't have insertion you're on the down you know it's almost like uh you know when people say like right now you're dying you know like every second you're

getting closer to death once you have an erection like every single millisecond you're getting you're going soft you know once you hit up you gotta come down. You haven't taken the... Here we go. You can't even get the reference out. You ever take a dick pic and you go right to the peak of that? Yep. Right? And then you're like, you gotta get the phone.

It's a rush. It's not as hard as it was three seconds ago, son of a... You gotta whip it back up again. I'll sometime fucking hammer it up, right? And then you just do the multiple pick. You're just firing it up. You do the burst. You got like 60 of them in your fucking camera roll.

Let me just pick out the one. And it's like a flip book. And one of them is a little bit higher. The flip book would be masturbating. And there's one that's peak. There's one that's at its pinnacle and uh that's that's when you got to get it in and if i have to be like hey all right grab the condom box let's have you know uh uh some sort of physical act of consent by putting our hands all over this that opens the

box then i gotta just get the wrapper out then i gotta remember which way the condom goes because you don't want to roll it down upside down that doesn't work you gotta flip it back over pitch that reservoir tip start to roll it on your dick's already gotten kind of soft so you squeeze the bottom to kind of like when you squeeze a balloon and it pushes the air up you're gonna push the blood up so that maybe i can roll this goddamn balloon over my dick and then when it doesn't work you've got a soft dick being pinched off by the fucking the rim of the condom and everyone's sitting there like what are we doing the uh what happened we went we went this went south real quick having a having a hard dick and that condom it would be like um like in the movies when like is it the red wire or the blue wire like i don't

know choose one just go or or this fucking thing? Yeah. Do you want protected sex or unprotected? Do you want to have sex? It's going to be unprotected? Or do you want me to fumble with a condom and not have sex? Make your decision right now. Which, in theory, is really the strongest form of consent. I said, yeah, I mean, really.

Like, look. You got one of two options. Like, no sex with this fucking Rubik's Cube? Hard dick. Pick it right now. You got to go. You got to go. You got to go. Three, Cube? Hard dick. Pick it right now. You gotta go. You gotta go. You gotta go.

Three, two, hard dick. Sex. That actually sounds a bit rapey, but whatever. Well, she has the option one or two. Yeah, I mean, the consent condoms are just promoting abstinence. There just will be no sex. If you try to use this. And so, again, you know, mission accomplished. Like, no one's going to get forcefully raped when there's not a hard dick.

So either way, they have achieved their goal. I would just like it to be a little more reasonable. I don't think we need nuclear codes or simultaneous key turning to have sex. I think it could just be like, yes, okay, thumbs up. Fuck that. So fuck that condom box. Who you got? My fuck this is

the CNBC thing. You see that? Their trick to saving money on tipping? Big trick. Tip less. Tip like a goddamn asshole. Here's a tip for you to save $400 a year. Well, just don't

give $400 to those people. That's really what it was. Just keep more money in your pocket and don't give it to the people helping you. I get that. Yeah, you can save money by not giving as much. Well, just tip 20%. It doesn't matter what happens. It's always 20%.

Their trick, and technically it's okay within the etiquette world, whoever writes those etiquette books, is that you tip on the bill pre-tax. Which makes, I understand the logic, like tax had nothing to do with that service. They have their prices. They serve you a certain quality of food, which is a certain price. They give you a certain quality of service, which is worth something to you. And then you tip on that bill, and the government taxes not theirs. But you're an asshole if you do this. You take the bottom number

of the bill, and you do 20%. You move the decimals, multiply by two. If only, if only, because the math is easier. I don't give a fuck. I've made my stance on waiters and waiters pretty clear. You guys are fucking annoying as shit. And I actually got

mad after writing this article because everyone was like everyone was like, thank you. Thank you for standing up for the service industry. I'm like, oh, wait, no, no, no, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Do not get it twisted. I do not like the service. Well, I like the service industry. Fine. I do not like when the service industry complains. Yes. I mean, like like your grandfather remembers Vietnam

more fondly than the 17 year old lady who had a night shift at Applebee's. Worked at a fucking snack bar in a country club. People are assholes. People are assholes. You're going to have to deal with it. People are assholes. You wouldn't understand.

I worked in the service industry. They were assholes. I worked in retail. They were assholes. I did construction and landscaping. Assholes. Assholes. I worked on the internet.

Huge assholes. Biggest assholes. The world is full of assholes. People who found that black hole. That just looked like a picture of an asshole. Just assholes everywhere in every field. Just tip them 20%. They're still assholes. On the last number, 20%.

Otherwise, you're going to be called cheap. And you're going to be hounded by these fucking annoying waiters and bartenders. Just fucking tip on the bottom number like a normal person who's not poor as shit. And CNBC, go fuck yourself with your tips. $400 a year for the peace of mind. Seriously, here's a tip for CNBC. Don't put out dumbass videos. That's my tip.

Office time? Let's do the office. Let's do the office. It's brought to you by SeatGeek. You want to go see the office live? John once went and saw that. I want to go see it again. It was probably the worst performance of all time.

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Your bet. Number two. Ah, good one. This is from Rhea. Crushed it. This is from Rhea. The Black Eyed Peas. The Black Eyed Peas.

Yeah. Was just listening to them the other day. Swear to God. Why? I don't know. Popped on my shuffle. Crazy. Why?

I don't know. Who listens to music on shuffle? I do. You just listen to your whole catalog on shuffle. Crazy. Why? I don't know. Who listens to music on shuffle? I do. You just listen to your whole catalog on shuffle? It was like an old school, yeah. I call it. Yeah. It was Where's the Love.

It's a good song. It's a fucking, I mean, look, it's a fine song, I suppose. But listening to the music on shuffle, listening to all of your music on shuffle is pure lunacy. Are you fucking kidding me? I had something else I was going to talk about with the Black Eyed Peas. I want to talk about you and your Shuffle, Kevin. I have playlists. I have a

computer. No, because you're an Apple Music guy. No, I'm a Spotify guy now. See, I just listen to music Spotify makes for me. Spotify's just like... Yeah, that's great, by the way. Your daily mix. Unbelievable. I get all these like fucking Disney things lumped in there all of a sudden

Frozen comes on I'm like god damn it yeah you would love you would love my daily mix I have I have one that's like basically musicals but I do

I go punk rock and I go my musicals I have a laptop I'm such a I have an old laptop that has an iTunes library that has old music and I was listening to that

so you had an old laptop yes with an old library you were like, you know what? I'm going to shuffle this bitch today. Yes. What will you do?

Yo, bro. You're not going to successfully shame me on this. When you go back and you find an old fucking iPod or an old laptop or some sort of old library, that's the best. The best. Yeah.

We could say that until fucking the black eyed peas come on. I can't believe we as a society just accepted the black eyed peas come on i can't believe we as a society just accepted the black eyed peas for like a decade yo not like no no we did not accept they were like the top of the game i know they fucking dominated it wasn't like uh we'll deal with that we will well you know yeah sure they can they'll we'll give them a record deal it was like they have the number one song every single time they come out by the way you know the best one of the best roastings ever was uh robert california in the office of the black eyed peas yeah what he's saying says they are rap for people who don't like rap yeah they are pop for people who don't like pop yeah they are rock for people

who don't like rock and then ryan just points at him like, this guy gets it. Yeah. That might've been the downfall of the black eyed peas. Like the light bulb went off. I was like, please. Oh shit. And it is, when you love something as much as the world loved the black eyed peas, it just takes that one,

that one chink in the armor, that one fucking little, little rip in the soy, the bag of soy sauce. Right. Just, just like, I could never open this plastic thing.

There's a little shred here. And then, yep. Like, like you just plant the seed of doubt into everyone's could never open this plastic thing, but there's a little shred here. You just plant the seed of doubt into everyone's head and they're like, these guys do suck. Robert California took out the black-eyed beast. They were so weird. Fergie was pissing her pants. Will.i.am is just a joke. He thought he was the coolest guy in the world. And then that other guy is not even human.

That guy looks like a pharaoh. He looks like those... I think that's the guy from Limp Bizkit. No, no. Remember how they deal with the white... I was listening to Limp Bizkit. Okay. I put on Method Man. Now I was back onto Spotify.

I put on Method Man, like, this is Method Man, all of his shit. And the Roland remix came on. I don't care what you say. Roland bangs. That beat goes off. With Method Man on, it you say. Roland bangs. That beat goes off. With Method Man on, it was awesome. Break Stuff.

Break Stuff was dope. Yeah, don't you fucking shame. Don't you shame. I mean, that was one of my first albums I ever bought. Chocolate Starfish. Chocolate Starfish, Hot Dog Flavor Water,

and J-Lo on the 6th. I bought them together. And you're going to shame me. See, I told you. Fuck you. Fuck you. But that one guy, he looked like,

in those paintings, hieroglyphics in Egypt, those, cat human things, that's what that guy looked like. Yeah, yeah. He was a weird-looking dude. Yeah, he was. The crazy thing about the Black Eyed Peas is that they survived, and granted, this is a different time when it was totally okay. They had a song called Let's Get Retarded. And that didn't take them down. And they were celebrated.

But Robert Calvert, like, we spent the summer as a society. Let's get retarded in here! Let's get retarded in here! Wild! Like, pass me the Zima and let's get retarded in here. And everyone was just like, yeah, fuck yeah! Let's go! Being retarded is awesome!

Getting so drunk that you are retarded! Mentally disabled. Fuck yeah. How lucky that it was just a perfect seamless. Getting started and retarded rhyme perfectly. Let's just switch that up. I mean, perfect. I mean, they would have been super canceled if they couldn't have changed that name.

I think they could still get it going for her. Actually, I don't want her because I like Josh Duhamel. Well, they're not even married anymore, so yeah, I'm going to cancel him. Fergie's been... I mean, you pissed your pants, you butchered the anthem. Let's get retarded in here. Can't cancel us because you didn't cancel Fergie, suck my dick. Hey!

Retarded, retarded, retarded! Next number. Four. Four. Four. Ah, the EIC. The EIC wants to talk about? What do you think? Game of Thrones is on her brain.

I know that. No, no, no, no. You're not going to guess it. I was going to say, I don't know. That's it. That's my guess. If it's wrong, tell me. If you had 17 billion guesses, you wouldn't get it.

The Cuban Missile Crisis. The Cuban Missile Crisis was so awesome. Well, I don't remember. I was going to say. You don't either. It was in 1962. Yeah, before 63. Right?

When Kennedy got his head blown off. I know it had to be before that. That shit was so cocky from Kennedy to just be like, hold, hold, hold the line. Hold the door. I would just fucking... If I'm ever in a situation like this, if I'm ever to stand off in the movies

when two people point a gun at each other, I'm going to be first. I was the same way in middle school when they were talking about fights. Kids who think they were cool would be like, I'll never throw. I'll throw first, but I'll throw second.

Bitch, I'll throw first. Yeah, man. I'll give a fuck. Yeah, like, how stupid would it be if you just had guns pointing at each other and you just waited until they shot you? Yeah. You'd be like, well, that was dumb.

I should have shot them. Yeah. And honestly, this was the end for the commies. Like, that was it. You showed your hand. Do a little bluffing. We called your bluff. Yeah, it was like, do it. Do it.

And they just turned around. It's like, oh, okay. Well, we don't have to worry about this anymore. These guys are fucking soft. Castro, Cuba, you got missiles. You ain't gonna do shit, bitch. Do you know how we figured out that they had the Russian missiles there? I don't.

I believe this is fact. Let's put this at 80%. Was there an accident with the pictures? They were taking pictures of both? They were taking pictures, and they were playing soccer. Uh-huh. And they knew the Cubans played baseball. Oh, yeah.

I did know there was something about the pictures. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I believe that's what it was. Yeah. Like, hmm, they don't do that. Yeah. Cubans don't play fucking soccer. They were like, what the fuck is going on down there? Interesting. They were like, those are the Russians. Super smart. That's awesome. See, I would be there. That's it don't do that. Yeah. Cubans don't play fucking soccer. They're like, what the fuck is going on down there?

Interesting. Those are the Russians. Super smart. That's awesome. See, I would be there. That shit, I love that shit. Yeah, me too. But I would be in that room, I'd be like, huh, the Cubans learn how to play soccer.

Yeah, I would say. You know, like, I would never put those two together at all. Good for those guys. We got the smart ones out there. We got the smart ones in Intel. I like that. Good to know that we're all safe. Yeah.

But honestly, like, the whole Cold War, war it was like there was a reason why we knew you weren't gonna do shit because when you had a fucking shot you you took your you you took all the steps you got there you're like 90 miles off the coast you can hit like any city you want you can do shit about it bitch ass motherfuckers i i i i'm glad we didn't, but if it was me, I wouldn't shoot him. Yeah, just blow that shit up. Look, I'm all for a world peace. Well, I'm not all for a world peace. Could you imagine if that happened now? If fucking the bad guys now, if Al Qaeda was in Cuba, I would say blow that shit up immediately.

Blow up all of Cuba. Fuck you guys. Sorry. You guys have kind of been enemies the whole time, and now the real, real, real bad guys are there? Speaking of Cuba, what about Trump with the baseball players? What happened? What's this guy's problem with everybody?

What? He's not letting them defect? Yeah. Oh, come on. I mean. Come on, dude. What? You don't want more cesspituses out there?

It's crazy. You're going to fucking break. What, do they got to go back to rowing in's crazy You're gonna fucking break What, they gotta go back To like Rowan and Boats And Raphs and shit? Yeah, they gotta go What would Puig do If Puig got involved

With the mob and shit like that? They like Although I do think That weeds out the really good ones I do think it's like so hard That if you make it You're really, really good And you're gonna see

Some fireworks I mean, like baseball I would agree with you If Russ Nankestia Wasn't still playing For the Paw Sox Making 68 million dollars We should've known That guy was gonna stink I would agree with you if Russ Nankastia wasn't still playing for the Paw Sox. Making $68 million.

We should have known that guy was going to stink once we saw those things all over his fucking ear. I did a blog about that. I was like, hang on a second. This guy can't be that good. What's the deal with this?

Yeah, Beltran, same thing. I'm like, how is this guy so fucking good with that thing on his ear? Yeah, man. Let the Cubans in. Unless there's bad guys there, then blow up Cuba.

Can we still go visit Cuba? Because I still do want to go. I don't know what the rules are. It's like we open the gates. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. We open the gates up, but they'll be really. Because everyone's like, oh, it's going to be great when you can travel there. It's like, well, that was a couple years ago.

Can I travel there or not? I think it was announced a couple years ago. I think Obama's last trip, so probably two or three years ago, opened up. But I'm going to guess. I'm going to go ahead and guess Trump shut it down. Probably. I'm also like, I don't want to be the first to go to cuba no jay-z and beyonce were they look great over there though yeah well they're also you know i i feel like cuba is

still a spot where you go with a white person i can get robbed i don't think so no it's like when you go to like costa rica for a bachelor party and you need like armed guards to follow you everywhere yeah i feel like cuba is still a little bit like that. No, I think Cuba... You don't think there's some lawless shit still going on in Cuba? I'm sure there is. There's lawless shit going on here. But the... For some reason, I don't think Cuba's that bad.

I have really no basis for this. And this is the guy who fucking cured AIDS, and he doesn't even know what's going on in Cuba. Give me a break. Number one. This comes from Big Daddy Trent, and it's coffee. I know why he said this. I heard him talking to Coley.

He was finishing his cup of Starbucks, and he was, like, you know, drinking the last bit. And he's like, I came in halfway. I think he was saying he never knows how to, like, finish his coffee. Because he's like, and then, like, at the bottom, there's all the coffee rinds, and it feels like I'm just drinking ants. And I said, I looked at him with this look of disgust on my face, because that's a gross thought, drinking ants.

And I said, I'm the weird one for not drinking this. You guys give me a hard time for not drinking the cup of ants. You just said, this drink that you choose to consume reminds you of drinking bugs, eating insects. And when I tell you guys I don't drink coffee, they go, what's wrong with you? How do you survive?

Fuck that. I'm all set. I don't need to drink hot, dirty water and then chug down some ants. Well, that's just Healy makes his own, right? Is that how you buy a cup of coffee? Does that happen at a regular cup of coffee? I mean, it could happen, but I don't think it regularly happens. Yeah, it's probably like if you botched making it, right?

Yeah. And if you make your own, it's a much higher probability. If you get a cup of Starbucks and it has a lot of grinds, you can be, like, pissed. Right. So, yeah, try to make your own. And it's just like, you know, falls through the filter. I don't know what the fuck is going on there. What a fucking production.

You got to get like a cup, a napkin cup, put the dirt in, and then the water drips through, and it's got to like saturate through into the cup, and I'm the weirdo. Fuck you guys. No, what's weird about you is that you have enough energy to not need it. Well, I don't. I need coffee. I mean, I'm super tired all the time. Yeah, yeah. I'm very miserable I mean, I'm super tired all the time.

I'm very miserable. And that's what's weird. The choice to just be like, I'll always be exhausted instead of like, I'll just do a drug and it'll give me a little bit of energy right now. Well, it's, you know, if it was a drug,

I would be fine with it. It's drinking like, you know, 24 ounces of disgusting. Coffee actually makes me insanely jittery. Yeah, I get the jitters. Everyone's like, oh, I gotta take my coffee shit. Drugs don't make you get jittery.

Caffeine does. Right, yeah. I would rather be tired than jittery and pooping with bad breath and stained teeth. Okay? You guys turn into homeless freaks who just have energy. Need the energy. I saw a good point the other day. Someone was like, coffee shops are designed to be peaceful places.

Even though they serve an accelerant. What do they call it? An opera, right? Yeah. And then bars are designed to get crazy even though they serve depressants. Yeah. And let's make a fucking bar. That, that, that kind of deal.

That just serves coffee. Espresso martinis, bro. You've been to the Starbucks on the corner? No, I haven't. I don't drink coffee. The music is at like 500 decibels.

Really? You walk in and it's like the loudest place I could possibly, you can't even have a conversation. I think that could be one of those weird things

where it's like, check out this zany spot. Yeah, it's a coffee shop and a bar. Used to writing your fucking novel at a Starbucks? Come figure, check out this one.

I was gonna say, you might get laid. You go, fuck. Bro, you got to watch Gold. Go get Gold just for what

John just did there. That was wild. What was wild was that he took his, the fingers stayed stationary and he jammed

the vagina like a flashlight over his fingers. Yeah, I guess I more or less did that, didn't I? I thought I was doing both. You know how I know you were acting? Because you did the

middle finger and the pointer finger. Not the Spider-Man. By the way, what you're describing though is the espresso martini. That's why I drink those. They work. And they're delicious. Greatest drink of all time. And everyone's suspect. And then they have them. And they're like, oh, I totally get this.

I fuck with it. Let's get into our voice. First, before we do voicemails, go download the new episode, the first episode of Game of Stools, the new podcast that we're doing here at Barstool for the final season of Game of Thrones. Last episode, the first episode was me, Riggs, Clem, Ellie. We're going to cycle in basically everyone from the office. Fidelberg, Bob Fox, Trent, Rhea, Casey, anybody who watches.

Nardini came over and was mixing it up with me talking Game of Thrones. I was like, you want to get in on this, girl? You want the CEO up in here? So, Game of Stools. We're breaking it down in Barstool fashion. You know, not too serious. Having some laughs.

You don't have to know. You don't have to read the books or be a big nerd or anything like that. Common Man style. We're breaking down the most influential, powerful show of all time to wrap up the final six episodes. What do you think? Would you think it's the best show ever? I think it's probably one of the most culturally influential, important shows

ever. I would agree with that. I mean, I don't know if I listen to KSR or they'll probably fucking scream at me about MASH or something. Um, the I don't think there's ever been a show like this before where it was, well, I don't know about before, but I do not think there will be another

show like this. I do not think there will be another. What this I do not think there will be another the differentiator is that they take in something that is so niche and nerdy and weird and made it so mainstream that's I mean I think that's a testament to the writers they always seem to deliver in the big moments there's no I don't I can't really remember a finale or premiere a big episode where I was like well they botched that one yeah it's the only show probably in history that had viral moments like it was the fucking superbowl yeah like i mean the red wedding people who don't even watch it or read it if you said the red wedding they know basically what it is but like the red one the night the red wedding happened it was like viral clip i don't even know

how people were taking video because like you no one knew it was coming right and i guess once someone might have book readers might have been oh true we're still on the book then yeah um but the uh i think i think i think there will i think it will go down as kind of the dinosaur of this weekly show i think well i think i'll be surprised if there will be weekly shows that are popular again i will be shocked if ever again a show of this magnitude is a week to week. 30 million people watching. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which is a sad thought, to be honest. But I was reading, actually, speaking of big moments, I was reading today the 10 biggest moments in Thrones history. And it was Sepinwall over on Rolling Stone. Son of a bitch. I got to tell you, I think he had number three. I think largely it was a good list. Number one was the explosion at the sept.

Two, Eddard Stark's head. Three was Hodor. And I think that's fucking bullshit. I think it's fucking bullshit that we let the Game of Thrones writers get away with Hold the Door, Hodor. That was the lamest

fucking thing. I expect so much more from that show. I hate that we just kind of accept it. I'm rewatching Thrones now. I feel like everyone in the world is rewatching Thrones right now. And I'm rewatching it. And I'm noticing so many little things that I actually love. We're just like, like before I just watched this morning, I watched the Joffrey episode when he dies and like 10 minutes before that happens Olenna Tyrell

says to Lady Sansa she says you know I'm so sorry what happened to your brother war is one thing but killing a man at a wedding

what are we savages or something along those lines and then like three seasons later you found out Olenna already pointed that shit she's a bad bitch

I know but like there's so many lines that are so important. Every other instance they deliver down to a level that you probably don't even realize. Incredible writing. And then they do this Hodor, Hodor, Hodor, Hodor, Hodor, Hodor. Let's get retarded in here. I couldn't believe when everybody loved that. We are, by the way, we are very much in the minority here.

The Game of Thrones Hodor nerds are going to be coming in droves. You know what I like better? The idea that Bran or whatever Bran or the Night King or whoever it is warged into the Mad King, and when he was saying, burn them all, burn them all, burn them all, it was because he was half talking about the White Walkers, and it would actually just end up he burned all the people. It was Bran telling him, you got to burn the White Walkers, get rid of them.

And he was, like, stuck in between both levels, and that's why he just burned all the people. I like that much more than Hodor, Hodor, Hodor, Hodor, Hodor, Hodor, Hodor, Hodor. You just don't like that his name is Hodor? I thought the whole reveal, in a way, was like, it's, yeah, it's too like, I mean, I think that was just how they used, how they, you know, like, it was like exposition for how brand can affect multiple times. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it just, that's fine. I'm okay with that. But the Hodor, Hodor, hold the door, hold the door.

His name didn't have to be that. I binged it so like it was it was like all one thing for me but as it was going on a lot in real time weren't you guys like why does this guy just only say one word not really just a special needs person yeah i mean i didn't and then there was a reveal to it i thought that that was like really cool that it was like he wasn't always special needs and it was like a very critical moment in the show it was super critical but i just thought the way that it was literally like he's mumbling

hold the door over and over again that was very true why was he always saying hold the door like well cause that's when his brain he was stuck in yeah but like it's just stupid like just don't say anything just shut the fuck up

just shut the fuck up he walked around and was don't say anything. Just shut the fuck up. Why are you walking around just going, Hodor, Hodor, Hodor, Hodor? You're silent a lot of the time until people talk to you and you start going, Hodor, Hodor, Hodor. Just shut up. You can't say anything

but Hodor. Just shut up. It's a fucking stupid thing. Team fuck Hodor. Yeah. I thought it's a lot like Groot when he can only say, I am Groot,

and I've never heard that explained. I was like, oh, I would have been like... Yeah, and minions can only say one thing too. It doesn't need to be explained. It's just like you say one thing, whatever, fine. That's what that character does. He says a word. I'm okay with the explanation.

I'm okay with explaining it. I'm not okay with the explanation. Hold the door, hold the door, hold the door, hold the door, hold the door. Hold the door, hold the door, hold the door. And that's also not how you say it. Say hold the door as fast as you can. Hold the door, hold the door, hold the door, hold the door, hold the door. You get the L in there. You shouldn't have been saying hold the door, hold the door, hold the door. Hold the door. And that's also not how you say it. Say hold the door as fast as you can. Hold the door. Hold the door.

Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door. You get the L in there. You shouldn't have been saying hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door.

You get the L. If you're saying hold the door fast, you get the L. We should have wrote that show. It's one of the main, one of the most phonetically important things in that. Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door.

We should have wrote Game of Thrones. Honestly, I'm a little afraid that we didn't write the finale. Because now I don't know if, you know, I don't know how it's going to go. Honestly, I'm a little afraid that we didn't write the finale. Because now I don't know if... I don't know how it's going to go. Scary times. Game of Thrones for more... Game of Stools. Game of Stools for more interesting analysis like that.

Fuck Hodor. No, it's really not. It's a lot of that kind of stuff. He'd just be like, nah, fuck this. Alright, a couple of voicemails before we get into our interviews. Voicemails brought to you by Trip Actions. Half of business travelers do not use their company's chosen travel management platform because people are idiots. You can't trust anybody. Nobody knows how to do their job anymore.

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and you'll get a $100 Amazon gift card. That's TripActions.com slash KFC. It's only this month, though. So go get it in. Do the free demo. Get a $100 gift card when you go to tripactions.com slash KFC. See, by Superdude Producer VC, I kind of have a situational would you rather kind of. I was thinking about would you rather if you were like having a sleepover with your like hookup buddy, girlfriend, whatever.

Sleepover? Would you rather as a guy last not as long in bed but be able to recharge pretty fast? So you're like looking at having sex like five times in like two hours or would you rather like go for a long time but when you are finished you're like done for the night i'll say as a girl so this is quality wait let me hear what does it go on the first because i think every girl out there knows that after a certain amount of time it's just like we're just wishing that you would come

because it's like too long so let me know your thoughts from a guy's point of view it's a quality versus quantity thing you want to be able to give like one good session and then you're down for the count or you want to last not that long but you can give them multiple rounds I know you're down for the count or you want to last not that long, but you can give them multiple rounds. I know you're down for the count these days, right?

Yeah. Yeah. And, like, it's in theory, not in practice. Like, it's, I would prefer, like, I don't know. What's multiple times? I mean, the way she's talking, I think she said five there. In two hours. Oh, well, that's just not practical.

That's crazy. That's physically impossible. What am I, an Avenger? What am I, X-Men? I can't do that shit. I was thinking like five. Five hours is just like, that's just impractical. You're just going to lay in bed for two hours?

Because if I'm getting up and putting clothes back on. No, it's over. If I'm putting clothes on, I'm basically, I have a work shift away from sex. If I get dressed again. Yeah. I got about. Well, it was during a sleepover. So, yeah, if you have a slumber party, I'll give you, you know.

That's like the fucking asshole who tweeted me the other day asking how often we wash our PJs. I don't know if that's my mom. PJs. I don't know if that's my mom. PJs. I if you want to give me like if you want to say like the next morning we're going to go twice

and I can then we can get to five. I'll maybe give you three at night two in the morning. That's all. It's a lot. But that's the only practical way I'm getting to five.

Five and two hours. Yeah. He's young sluts. Five in a day. He that's the only practical way I'm getting to five. Five and two hours. Yeah. He's young sluts. Five in a day. He's fucking young sluts. God damn you, girls. It's not. But, all right, so let's not be ridiculous five and two hours.

Let's call it, I think four makes you, it feels like an uncomfortable goal to attain. Like four times, holy shit. Doing anything four times is a lot. So four times over the course of a night. Maybe I'll give you once in the morning versus like one I blew your mind session.

I would prefer one I blew your mind session. But I also can't. I'm incapable of doing that. Not blowing your mind. Well, yes, blowing your mind. But that's not what I was in reference to. Like, I almost feel like when I'm... I feel like a piece of meat. I'm just going to say it. When I'm with a woman, i feel like a piece of meat i'm just gonna say it when i'm when i'm with the woman i feel like a piece of meat and i'm like all she wants to do

is have sex i don't know if that's true like i have sex so many times and i'm always like it's so true i'm happy you're talking about this there are times fights will come in he's like i am so sore i'm like what did you do? He's had sex this weekend. Like, 11 times. That's so weird. I'm going to be really real about it. John gets

raped on the regular. John definitely gets raped. This girl has some demanding she has a list of demands That are hard to meet But she's getting them One way or the other

John gets raped We're an anti-rape podcast I want to drive that home Yeah there's like It's just like I just gotta I gotta have sex a lot I guess we're gonna

We're gonna fucking do this again I'd prefer one mind-blowing session bed. Be done. It doesn't happen that way a lot. I mean, the perfect world is a happy medium in my mind. I'd like to go, you know, I'd like to give you a few good rounds. I'd like to give you maybe two good ones and a third one that's just like for fucking shits and giggles. And then I'd like everybody to be satisfied.

I don't want to go five times. I don't want to leave you unsatisfied with just one. I think gun to my head, though, I would take multiple rounds. I don't think so. I think gun to my head, I'd take one round.

And then if that also comes with a piece of mind that she's been satisfied. Well, that's the thing, but like you said, you're a piece of meat, and they're just looking for more. You know? It's hard being a guy. The problem is, this is what girls don't understand. Just a piece of meat to treat me like a sexual object.

Girls do not understand the, like, they take for granted that they can pop off multiple times. And they take for granted the recharging element. And they take for granted that their pussies always work. They're just always open. You know? It's not like those things are ever not like a guy

or a guy can be like, listen, it's not happening. A girl's never going to be like, nah, it's closed up for business. You can't get in there. It's like an escalator. When an escalator breaks, you, it's closed up for business. You can't get in there. It's like an escalator. When an escalator breaks, you can still just walk up the stairs. A broken escalator just becomes a flight of stairs.

It's a little more difficult to use. Maybe I have to use lube. But it's still going to work. Whereas we will be like, it is not happening because this is round fucking four. I'm 30 plus. I can't do this anymore. The pressure they put on us is just not fair. They wonder why we round fucking four. I'm 30 plus. I can't do this anymore. These girls, the pressure they put on us is just not fair.

And they wonder why we have fucking issues. Give me a break. It's because you're treating us like a bitch because you're raping me. What's up, KFC, BC, FDB? First time, long time. I don't know what the fuck got me. I'm driving in my car right now. And I thought of

this hypothetical. Might be easy as fuck for you, but I figured I'd at least get your thoughts on it. Would you rather never be able to taste anything you eat ever again, good or bad, so you basically would be able to eat only healthy shit that would probably taste terrible, and you'd basically be able to lose all the weight you want, be in great shape, but you'd never be able to taste food again? Or would you rather be able to taste food so you'd be able to eat all the good stuff and any healthy stuff, but no matter what you ate, good or bad,

you'd constantly be gaining weight? Land the plane, bro. That's it? Yeah. stuff, but no matter what you ate, good or bad, you'd constantly be gaining weight. Land the plane, bro. That's it? Yeah. Be able to taste or not taste? I thought there was going to be like a thing, like you can taste, but you also get like this out of the other thing. I mean, look, I'm going to choose taste.

You call me crazy. Well, but I do, I really am enamored with the idea these days. I've been getting this hypothetical in various ways because we do answer the internet where it's like, would you rather lose your sensitivity of sex or your sensitivity of food? The idea of like, well, I'm just going to eat nothing but broccoli and be fucking shredded is kind of cool. Yeah, but like. I feel like, John. You think broccoli does some things that it doesn't. Yeah, I was going to say.

Yeah, just be like, lose weight. I am just a fucking I'm a fat little girl when it comes to food. I need to eat some cookies. What's wrong with you, bro? Grow up. Be an adult. Just don't eat that shit.

I'm a slave to it, bro. I'm a slave to it, bro. I'm a slave to it. My body craves it. I'm addicted to the wrong drug. I'm addicted to it. Addicted to caffeine instead of sugar.

I guess so. Even when you were like, yeah, that's why I have the martinis. Like you're like, yeah, I want more of the wrong thing. Shut the fuck up.

All I know is that the idea of just being set free from my cravings of donuts and cookies and cereal and shit, that would be kind of nice. I, but I got,

I had like 34 good years of eating all that shit. I might just cut it off. You could give me a, if you could, if I could sign up right now, just like sear my taste buds, I might do it. What about this though?

If you can't taste, you probably still have a sugar addiction right it's not a taste of sugar it's the brain activity it causes yeah probably probably yeah i mean the taste because it plays a factor but like have you ever seen like the brain lit up like both ways where it's like it's lit up like you're like lit up like more than coke yeah sugar i mean i just walked past a box of pop-tarts out there and and my mouth instantly started watering, and I was like, do it, do it, do it, do it, eat it, eat it, eat it, like an addict. That's weird.

That's weird, yeah. And that's not taste buds. You're right. So I would sign up for this, and then I wouldn't even be getting like— I'd be eating like chocolate cake and not even fucking getting the benefit of it. So I'm going to just stay normal. All five senses. I'll take them.

Yeah. All good in my book. One more? What's up, KFC? Fight to produce the BC. First time, long time. Meemub, I've got a quick hypothetical for you. Would you strangle a cat to death

if it meant that every chip you ate for the rest of your life had maximum flavor? Thought that was a good one. Anyways, Viva. That's not enough for me to kill an animal with my bare hands. First of all, I've never taken a bite of a chip and been like, there's not enough flavor in here.

This has medium flavor. Chips are operating at a pretty high level on their own. I mean, like a Dorito, 100% flavor every single bite. You know? Now, we can talk. I'm not going to, like, I can, there's a price where I will strangle a cat. It just has nothing to do with chip flavor. And I'll be honest, it's pretty low.

It's really low. It's just not that low. Although, you know what? I don't know if it is because it's fucking. It's one thing to say. It's another thing to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, it's like the squeals.

Yes. Yeah. The noise. The noise is. Also, they'll claw you. It's going to hurt you. You're going to get clawed up. Yeah.

Unless you have some of those gloves that, that like raven trainers use, you know? I'll bet I couldn't strangle a cat. Like physically. No, that's like trying to... It would wiggle its way out. Yeah, it's like grabbing a greased pig. Cats are not... They're not going to get strangled by anybody.

They're cats. They have nine lives. I'm not getting one of them. But let's say like I held it down and then you had to like grab its neck. Jesus. So it's not physically a problem. You have the Raven trainer gloves on so you're not getting clawed up.

What would be your price to strangle a cat to death with the Raven gloves on? For me, it's just got to be monetary value. I'm not doing any of these like oh food's extra good about

his money all I care about I can't even tell you how little I care about anything other than money I am like so much at this point

I am just done like like I don't I'll go be if you told me right now like I have to just like stop being trying to even make

funny jokes like just if I just had to go like be like a news anchor right now like i i have to just like stop being trying to even make funny jokes like just if i just had to go like be like a news anchor right now but price is right i would do that in a heartbeat like i i think i've proven that we're funny i think i've proven we've done some fun shit i don't need to do anything cool anymore i don't need to try to make anybody laugh i don't give a fuck i just want money i do so more more money i do go back to the cube just more than you make right now no there needs to be a significant number yeah i get yeah um well that's good okay yeah i see what you mean so like if yeah because then if like your life is just miserable no let's say i get i'm talking like if i stayed within like the entertainment realm but i just wasn't doing like

if i had if i went somewhere where they had to they put the shackles on it's like you can't say this anymore you can't say that and actually you know what we're not even about giving opinions here we're just about giving information I'd be like okay as long as I can still kind of come and go as I please and I don't have them being a dick to me going back to the cube is a significantly higher number the uh but I don't like the pride aspect of it all and that shit I'm done with that I don't care yeah no I don't have the competitive angle like you know it's like oh I want to be like the funniest or whatever I don't care. Yeah. No, I don't have the competitive angle. Like, you know, it's like,

Oh, I want to be like the funniest or whatever. And I don't fucking care. I want to be the richest, whatever it takes. They often go hand in hand. Absolutely. My attempt to be the richest is to try to be the funniest. So that's my,

that's where I'm placing my bet. But if someone came along and told me, well, no, do this. I'd be like, okay, dokey.

See you fucking later. Goodbye. Podcast listeners who like me. I don't care. Love you guys. Love you. So how much was your Strangler cat for? 500 grand. That's a good number.

I think if you go less than that... Now, what about Strangler cat and it's like front page news? The thing about Sean Dawson, Shane Dawson, he fucked a cat. And he was... I think it's better to kill a cat than fuck a cat in this society. Definitely. Definitely.

What about this video of the cat? Actually, I don't have a price because then I'm in the same boat as Michael Rapaport. And I hate that guy. I've hated that guy since the second I was born. Priceless number. I've hated him since he was on prison break. I've hated him forever. I've always hated that guy.

I've hated the guy to the extent where I won't do KFC radio interviews with him. I have no interest in being even remotely associated with Michael Rafferty. Therefore, my price is $10 million. So I guess I have some interest. I thought you were going to say I don't have a price. I have $10 million of interest. And then the interest those $10 million make. Interest on interest on interest.

All right. Let's get into Nateate bargazzi he is the funniest clean comedian in the game that's a fact he is a friend of the program he was we talk about the first time i talked to him many years ago before he blew up watching him uh watching him blow up has been cool because we didn't. Now that looks good. We were on the same level five years ago. Now we're not.

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I have a couch one and a bed one. Yeah, you got to get two. And I got to up my game because 15 ain't shit anymore. That's right, yeah. You get a tolerance develops to the weight, and it's like once you lose that snug feeling, you just got to keep upping it. I think that... You know what's crazy?

It doesn't... The heat, the hotness doesn't like... It's not proportional. Like my main concern was that I was going to put like 15 pounds of blanket on me, and I was going to like sweat. I don't know how they do it, but it's like breathable,

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That's calmingcomfortblanket.com, promo code KFC. Talk to him, Nate Bargatze. Bargetze. He says Bargetze. We've been saying his name. Is it Bargetze? Yeah. Oh, I always said Bargetze.

Me too. He didn't even correct us. Bargetze. Said that on Answer the Internet. Bargetzi. It's KFC Radio. Technically his second appearance on the podcast. Oh, that's great.

Yeah. Nate Bargetzi is here, this time in the flesh. It was like five years ago over the phone last time. Yeah, I think it was more than five. Was it? I remember, I don't know why, but I remember where I was. I don't know why but I remember where I was I don't know why it was some shitty podcast but I remember it for some reason

this was when Bart it was not going good we didn't think you were going to still be here to be honest but I remember being in I could drive you to the park a lot I was at my niece's, like, soccer game.

Scored some pretty sweet tickets. And I just remember, like, doing it. Because it was one of my first, didn't it? Like, it was, you know, as a comic, like, one of the first, like, where you reached out and, you know, you guys were a big deal. And you're like, oh, this is, like, neat. So it just sticks in my mind. It's a watershed moment for Nate.

Yeah, it was a big deal. It launched me for it. I wouldn't be here today. The Tennessee Kid is all because of you guys. Well, but at the same time, the reason I had even found out about Nate was an appearance on Jimmy Fallon. So he was doing alright. He was making appearances on Fallon.

And actually what jumped out to me was you did a bit on being skinny fat. Which is why I hate your guts now. Yeah. Because it's pretty obnoxious, like the glow up that you've had and now that you're kind of hot. It's because I got makeup put on before I came here. Yeah, you did.

He's got the makeup on. He's lost a billion pounds. He puts on this bomber jacket and thinks he's cool. It's like, man, fuck you. I used to like you because you were relatable, and now you're hot. It's like we're getting hot. I'm going to leave the room before i let you leave the room that guy asked to enter and uh uh i'm still it's still not good man i just like am i like it's still like a big mess it's a big problem like uh i had a beard is enormous beard's huge, I mean, it's through the roof. I get it cut even specifically

to like, hide, to go into shape down. And, you know. If you look at your old videos, you have like, you have like the sharp tooth necklace.

You have like a Joker style necklace on. Like he just like, he just got me off like Panama City. Like he just, like they go, like you're talking to me

on the sidewalk. Every video looks like I just am being interviewed on the sidewalk uh it's brutal dude i those old videos and that was so much of my career uh so much of your life i just wish i wouldn't have been anywhere and have no footage and like and i mean i post them on the old videos on instagram it's just like, it's so, it's brutal. It's better to go this way than the other way. I've gone the other way. I look at my old videos.

I agree. And I haven't even seen you the before way. I just imagine. It's, yeah, it is better to go. That is the thing, like when they say, you know, women say a lot of guys are lucky that they age. And really do distinguished dudes become i think it is uh well we can just mask stuff i mean everyone just learns at like 30 about the beard oh well if your face sucks you can just cover it with hair just cover it up i used to shave my head you know there's uh i would shave

it myself you know like me too and I thought I looked good. Yeah. Like in the Marines or something, just staring at the mirror like, what's up, guys? What the fuck are you doing? Literally $5 you could have someone else do it. And you're, no, I'll just do it myself. It's learning to pay.

Sometimes people ask me, I get messages from guys, and you're like just go get a professional haircut like just be consistent with the person tips on how yeah like oh your hair look good or you know or something you're like yeah I learned and it was I'm 40 now I learned when I was in my 30s like just go to someone consistent I went to a sports clip till I mean maybe like four years ago or three years ago. I just, because I liked it. They would just do it.

You know, they, you watch TV and they have something. They put a towel and stuff on here. Like, there was a lot of things I liked about it. But just go to, go to a regular, like a real person that's like a professional. Like a professional who, yeah. You, that's what it is. When you get older, you learn, just do, deal with professional people. Yeah. That like, that's what their life is. They older you learn just deal with professional people that like that's what their life is

they've been training for this and you'll be good the problem is most guys don't and they're just you know why do I look like this what's going on with my hair I used to go get my cut hair when I lived in New York you could get a cut where people were learning

how to cut a hair and that was like it, it was $5. And you would go and just be like. And I always would go in, and I was like, I never really cared. I was, the worst case, just shaved my head. So, you know, I would almost be like, yeah, just do whatever. Try something out. You know what I mean?

Give it a whirl. Give it a whirl. Experiment a little bit. I'm in really for the experience. I went to one of those once. This is when I first lived in New York like seven years ago. And there was a woman with her two kids, and the kids were just hellions, just screaming. And this other woman who was cutting the hair, she's like, I'm ready for you because that woman was here before me. And she was, no, no, it's okay.

We'll wait. And I was like, I'll go. That's cool. And it never crossed my mind that the woman with two crying kids probably wants to get out of here as fast as fucking possible and if she's telling this woman she'll pass she must be terrible yeah she didn't get off her phone the whole time it was like it was one of those where you can learn to cut yeah she had a phone in her ear this not even like headphones no don't just yeah just straight up like one of those like the the secretary style where like she was ready yeah like the hook into her arm and she just shaved half my head.

And I'm such a pussy where I was just like, perfect. You knocked it out of the park. It was awesome. I've always wanted to do something like that. So I'm glad you just did it. You know, I would do that too. I would agree. I would be like, yeah.

When they take out the mirror and they do the double mirror. Every single time. There could be. Best haircut I've ever had. Absolutely. You should never be sitting up. Is there a maximum I can tip? Because I'd love to give you $200.

Oh, I would tip that person. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. I would. You should never, like, be behind. Like, you just, as you're getting a haircut, you just hear, hello. Like, just because she answers the phone. Hello.

No, no, no. What? And you're like, what? Are you talking to me? What's happening? You know, if you start talking on the phone, like, in the cab or something, and the guy's like, what? Always. No, no, start talking on the phone, like, in the cab or something, and the guy's like, what? Always.

No, no, no, no. Always. It's like just that. I used to go to a guy named Delta on 27th Street, and they didn't even have scissors. Like, they had no idea how to cut white people's hair. And he was like, I remember walking in, and it was like a barbershop, like, vibe, you know?

And they were like, are you sure? And I was like, yeah, like, let's do like are you sure and i was like yeah like let's do this man he was like okay and i mean it was a fucking disaster they get too tight oh it's too tight for us like we're we can't be like it you know you go into it's awesome yeah the vibe is cool the vibe's cool and like i like uh how close and, you know, but it is, it does feel good. Like, but yeah, it's like too tight.

I mean, yeah. And you're like, we just have this hair. I mean, like the bottom is just perfect. Like, and everybody's like,

they were like curving doesn't ever been curved before. And everything was high and tight. I was like, okay, I need to learn. But yeah, you've, uh,

you've had your glow up. Son of a bitch. I, the, the one thing he said on, on the original standup that, uh, made me glow up. Son of a bitch. The one thing he said on the original stand-up that made me want to do an interview with him, it's not even that funny. It's a joke, but it's not.

He just said, I want to look like the before pictures of before and after. And I was like, that's the realest shit ever. I'm just striving for that, man. One of those videos, because it's crazy. That joke was like, P90X, because they show, the people they always show are like, God P90X, because they show like, the people they always show are like,

got really good bodies. They already have like a six pack. Yeah, they're like, fine. you can't, like, if I,

like, and as I was saying that joke, or one of the jokes, like, if I could, I just don't, if my nipples, if you couldn't see them

through my shirt, that would be unreal. That's what I'm shooting for. Yeah, that's in, you, I'd actually, I'd take my nipples, but you can't see my breasts.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. If you put it in for Aniston, like a little pop, but you didn't see like the curves. Oh, like you just had your like hard nipple. Yeah. I'll take a nipple. Just not like my under. The cup.

Yeah, like a cup. When you can see that I have like a B cup, that's a problem. Yeah. It's not good. You have to wear like. I wear black on this jacket. Yeah, something. At all times. It's, yeah, that's a problem yeah it's not good you have to wear like i wear black every jacket yeah something at all times it's uh yeah that's all you want uh i tell like you know i don't ever work out

but if i i've watched videos on what you should do i just watch youtube like what you should do lose it and i don't do it it's all just like normal working it's like you just work out dude like and eat i'm like well what is there what's a good exercise like i'm not doing zero exercising like i'm trying and it's not working i'm like what is the best one for like that and then i think that i don't want to do too much because i don't want to get like too by the way i've yet to start any of these but i'm already way deep into like i don't want to get you know, I don't want to be like just gigantic. You know, Chris, I think the guy's like, what's the name of this thing?

I'm like, I don't want to be, you know, it's a problem when people think I'm jacked, but comedy's not going to work. And I've yet to even put on workout clothes. I'm not even remotely to the step of doing it. I love when they have those videos like, what's the best diet? I don't know, just not fucking loaves of bread every night. I know what the answer is

to these questions. It's kind of like we were talking about advice. Advice in general I think is stupid because you know. You know the answer. What should I do? I'm having this relationship problem. What do you think. You feel like, look, what should I do? I'm having this relationship problem. What do you think I should do? You know.

What you think you should do. Exactly. You know in your head. You want it to be some answer, and it's not going to be that answer. Like, yeah, it's all that. I mean, every workout, and they keep making them, and you just keep watching them. Like, whatever the new plan.

Like, even the P90X or all those kind of videos are just like, they're doing the same workouts. Same thing with the diets. Everyone now is like, are you doing keto? Like it was Atkins a minute ago and it was something else before that and all it is is not eating loaves of bread. It's all the same shit always repackaged. Just avoid that stuff.

I had Taco Bell last night. Yeah, what's your Taco Bell order? And that wasn't even the first time this week. I get bean burritos with no onions. Okay. And then I like soft tacos. It's just like an easy, try not to be an, trying to be a lady in there and not,

and I'll take a couple soft tacos. And I used to love the chili cheese burrito and they don't have it. I always look randomly. You can find a Taco Bell that like, hasn't got the email that they're not making. It's like the brown and like orange ones. It's something that they can still make too, like totally where you're like, it's not like y'all don't have that stuff back there, but, uh, they, they're done. That's done.

So I used to get that all the time. I went on a stretch like probably like six months ago where I had, I think I had like But they're done. That's done. So I used to get that all the time. I went on a stretch probably six months ago where I had 21 straight days of Taco Bell. It was a real dark moment in my life. It's a problem, man. That's the stuff that I realize now. I've got to. I mean, I ate it last night.

And you just can't. At like 12, 30 last night. You know, and you just like, you can't. At like 1230 at night, I don't even phase to eat that late. Like, you know, most people that feel good just don't eat late. They're like, yeah, just don't eat. Just go to sleep. Yeah. You know, just eat, though. Why would you not eat?

The best. It's the funnest time to eat. Like, you know, intermittent fasting is the one that i'm trying how many hours do you go i've done uh 16 i've actually done today since because i i didn't i did it yesterday then last night i started at 12 because i ate that talk about 12 30 a.m uh my like the guy the guy behind the not even the noon like at 1230 a.m. I like the guy, the guy behind the, not even the noon, like at 1230, like,

all right, well, you were busy or something. I'm just in there with just animals, like just drunk, I mean, people there for a good reason.

Like, they're not like sober and like, you know, trying to actually look good. That's what the makeup lady did. I was like, give her this in this taco bell i have to bring her in it looked like it had taco bell about 12 hours ago yeah can you fix that uh they so then i started it again today like you know but i'll see how long but that like at least, that's the first one that's like the most simple.

Like you got to not eat, but it's at least the most straightforward. Like just don't eat for a long period of time. You can accidentally do it. Like I'll accidentally in the last, like all the time. I'll be like, oh yeah, I forgot to eat that. But when you want to eat and you can't, that's when it's like's when it's like big you start like losing it it's it's a sad like i'm like freaking out i'm like come on man just like get together for a minute and then just yeah once you can your eating window you eat like a lion like you know

just it's real bad i'll give i'll let myself off the hook like for anything like ah the kids crying yeah my kids are crying i'm too stressed i can't diet right now yeah i'm gonna have three bowls I'll let myself off the hook like for anything. Like, ah, the kid's crying. Yeah. My kids are crying. I'm too stressed. I can't diet right now. I'm going to have three bowls of Lucky Charms. Yeah.

What? Why? Because your kid was crying? That's not a reason, man. It's hard to like, well, you know, with our, with this kind of lifestyle that we all have, like too, it's like very up and down and you always, you could, we could always find something to celebrate. We can always say something like, well, it was a we did this we did this thing this video this like all this and you're like all right come on like you know i'm not gonna not eat like you're i mean

you're still on the road a lot or no yeah yeah i mean if i was on the road like these guys forget it oh it's a it's a nightmare yeah it's a straight up nightmare uh i mean you don't you were saying like you don't like i think it's in the t the Tennessee Kid or maybe it was in the stand-ups, but you were saying you just don't even like real restaurants anyway. No, like fast food. Yeah, I like it. Well, I have a new theory, which is, it might be a new joke that I'm doing. Just in case you hear it on the road, don't think I'm throwing material.

And you're seeing it's going to be garbage anyway right now. And you're like, I don't know. That's the stuff he's trying to protect. I'm like, guys, can we edit that? But I think fast food, like, so the old way fast food was is, like, the new way, like, chain restaurants are kind of becoming. Like, fast food's, like, just a free-for-all now. Like, it's gotten, it's out of control. Like, you go in there and no one cares

uh they look at you like they can't believe you're in there and you're they're absurd that you're trying to eat in order uh and so like i and now like you go to like some like apple with like you know which i love apple like i love all these places but now they're getting like a little bit rougher too like you could they don't care as much. Used to go to like, you know, a nice outback, you know, it was a good place. Everybody was happy to be there and I appreciated it. And I think it's all like, you have to go to like a nice restaurant. If you want to be treated like a person and get your normal meal and not be, you know, them not be disgusted with you, you have to go to a super fancy place.

I actually think that's fair. I've always avoided the middle of the road. I'll either go dog shit or like a really, not really nice restaurant, but like $30 a plate. They're happy to be there. They're proud of it. Right. You know, like it's, yeah.

The Applebee's, I always just feel like Applebee's is like, what's his name, Tara from Friday Night Lights? Like, that's what you're going to get. Yeah, yeah. You're going to get a disgruntled high school student. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I met my wife at Applebee's. Like, they definitely.

They do? Yeah. I swear to God. Yeah. Yeah. We both work there. Applebee's is like, you know we cook this steak in a microwave, right? Like, what are you doing?

Yeah, like, we spit in it every time. Even if we're not mad at you, we just spit in your food. That's just what we do here. So whose fault is it? They look at you like, so is it? I'm being pretty upfront about what's... I still go in there. I have a question kind of based off that.

Do you consider yourself, obviously you were a very successful comedian, but I feel like, do you write a lot of jokes or you i think like you're like telling a lot of stories up there it's a lot it's a lot of stories and uh yeah i'm not a big like sit down and write i'm trying to even get better i don't like sometimes you get far in your career they're like i don't think i know how to write like And I'm like way too far where I should have learned at some point. You can't ask anybody anymore. What do you mean you don't know how to do that, dude?

I don't know how to consistently... I can ask an open mic and I'm like, what's your writing process? Just trying to get some... Let me help you out. It's watching the diet videos. How do you just create stuff? Because it's all like comes most,

the best time it comes is like stuff like this, talking. Like just talking is a huge thing because you end up like having fun and then a story can pop up. And then you can, I will write down stuff. I write down stuff on my phone. So if I think of something that's funny, I can sometimes think of this thing that was, uh, uh,

funny. Like there's just one little thing that really can't be its own standalone thing. And I will find another story will come along and then I'll be able to put those together and where, and then I can format it in my own head, the way that it all kind of like is going. It's like even something you go like off topic,

you could be talking about something and then you kind of go off topic then you come back to the topic so it's like you just do that so you end up like grabbing a bunch of little things that could never really be their own thing and then putting them with the story that might not even be the craziest story alone but then if you keep them together like that's how you would that i mean that's hands down my favorite form of comedy i don't really like like the but i'm just like the yeah here's the joke bang you know all that but that's actually almost exactly how we describe like a good podcast where it's like you're on the highway and you pop off the highway for a little bit and you got mcdonald's and whatnot you're back on you get to your destination you get that you finish that full story but you take a bunch of different little

little detours along the way yeah that's the best the best way to do it. I learned a lot. So I started in Chicago, then moved here. So I moved here in 2004 in New York. And I started with watching Burr and Patrice and Chappelle was doing a show. I started at Boston Comedy Club, which was on Crashing with Pete Holmes. It was a great show. And then they – so i watched all that stuff and i remember watching those guys like they're talking about like writing down like you know some guys write word for word and like it works for people

it works like do whatever your thing is but uh i learned from them like they were like you know patrice was like if you don't write it down, you sound, it sounds more conversational. And it sounds like it's, you're not as like, because you can get into like a robotic sounding thing. So you try to, so that way you just sound like, you know, where it feels like, oh, I feel like he's just talking to me, even though I've told this joke a hundred times. And so you're, you know, like watching those guys do it. I mean, I watched, I was at, like, Boston Comedy Club. I used to sit in Patrice O'Neill's car because he would park his car in front of Boston and go in. And I would sit in it if, like, a cop came because you couldn't park there.

And I would, like, drive it around the block. Fuck out. While he performed. While he, yeah, while he went up. That's unreal. And I told him that, like, later on. Like, obviously, I told him recently. He's died.

I talked to him still quite a bit. But, like, he just laughed. He just laughed in my face when I said, like, he did. Of course, remember, I was, like, brand new. And it was just so funny to see him laugh and just be like, you did what? He was like, why would you do that? I'm like, I loved it. I lived my career. I'm sure at the time you were like, yo, man, I loved it. I lived my career here.

I'm sure at the time you were like, yo, man, I was driving a car around the block. It's unbelievable. Yeah, Burr, you know, I went to their HBO one night stand tapings. So, like, to see that, that was like the start of Burr. Like, that was right then that Philadelphia thing happened where he yelled at all the people in Philadelphia. And that kind of went viral. So I saw Burr, like, really kind of – Bill Burr. But it seemed like he kind of grew up.

I don't know. Someone's at home. Not Aaron Burr? I don't know. Who? And then – but to see him, like, come up and, like, you know. I mean, it was a huge thing to watch that dude. Like, I remember when he did his first Letterman.

I was just so new. And then just to see him, obviously, now he's the best of the best. Do you ever get that? Well, I feel like there's obviously a method to your madness, but I think there's something about you where everything that you say sounds funny. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's something intense. Even that right there. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's something intense, like even that right there.

I don't know if you've thought about that or if it's intentional or like along the way, did you just like, even just like younger in life, are you like, man, everyone's like laughing at me? What if this was all scripted? Like I was like, I'm that good. I figured I knew where this interview would go. Like even in Tennessee Kid,

the bit you were doing about putting your dog down. Like, in this country, you talk about, like, dead dogs, and it's like, you know, you'll be fucking outcast. And I'm sitting here laughing about the dog. Like, the way that it's delivered, I don't know what it is, the way you look, I don't know. Everything's funny. Yeah, I don't know. Some of it's like it just worked out. I don't know. It's everything's funny. It's, yeah, I don't know. Some of it's like you just, it just worked out. You know, like it, I don't know.

It's the way, yeah, I don't know what it would be. I mean, some of it like trying to tell, yeah, it's like, I don't know, man. It's like, I just crush it, dude. I'm like asking LeBron, like, why did you jump so high? I don't know, dude. I just do it better than you do. What do you want uh i don't know what it is it's uh whatever you know some of it like telling the dogs like some of it's doing comedy every day for 90 like when you learn right i remember doing stuff about my wife like jokes about my wife at the very beginning you learn

uh sometimes when you do it they come off too mean and then the audience is like why are you married like and you're like well that's not the point like so i need to learn how to like tell sometimes when you do it they come off too mean and then the audience is like why are you married like and you're like well that's not the point like so I need to learn how to like tell this joke where you're not gonna like you feel bad for her or like me you know whatever so then some of you just learn how to like tell whatever the joke is and then you know and it's and then the other stuff I don't know it's like you know you know, I could say stuff, I guess, different or, you know, maybe. I don't know. You were talking about putting together a bunch of stories.

Are people ever like, that's not true? Like, that would happen. All the time. It always happens to us. All the time. It's like, yeah, man, I'm just telling a fucking story. And I think the internet had a big problem with that. If you go to a stand-up comedy show, you're like, people are going to tell stories.

And every time you tweet on the internet, people are like, that didn't really happen. Like, I was talking about the other day, my girlfriend was flying home. She lives in Boston. And she was flying home, and all the systems in the airport went down. And she just called me to tell me this. Like, it wasn't, like, a thing we put together. And she's like, I'm sitting in the terminal right now,

and the systems went down. And the gentleman sitting next to me just leaned over and said this is what happened on 9-11 just so you know and I just tweeted that I was like I don't even think that's true but this guy in the airport just told my girlfriend before they boarded the plane like this is what happened on 9-11 and like that's a crazy thing and people were like that's bullshit

there's no way that's true I don't know like I couldn't make that up man what if they were talking about 9-11 that's what they're saying they don't believe maybe you misread the comments and Make that up, man. What if they were talking about 9-11? That's what they're saying. They don't believe anything. Maybe you misread the comments. Yeah, that's great. That guy's out of his mind.

I would have looked at that guy. He knows something. Well, she called. She's like, what do I do? I'm like, I don't know. I feel like you're pretty pot committed here. If I got to get on that plane, like, hopefully it doesn't crash. You got work in an hour. What are the odds?

You weigh your options. I'm not going to make this. So let's go call them for advice. Like, you know what to do. Like, run out of that fucking airport. But you're going to get on the plane, and that's what's going to happen. You're going to be here the whole time. And just hope it doesn't.

Where you see it. I'm not going to speak up. I'm not going to say anything. I remember flying, like, doing, like uh doing like overseas stuff like for the troops or when you you go to like the middle east and you fly on their like airlines and uh so we're on a plane and as we're taking off like you know like uh they you know they have to pray but they have to pray where they get down and now and like and they have to do it at the time and i mean we are on we're doing the takeoff where you're not supposed to get up they just get up and start praying in the middle of the aisle i mean i've never like you know you're trying not

to be just but you're like this can't be good like this can't like why are they and then they and they just did i mean they were like you can't do that they were like we're gonna do it anyway and uh they just prayed and got back in the seat and you're like, all right. It was a mix of just a lot of stuff. You're like, it was unreal.

The confidence to get up and do it. I mean, they did not bat an eye when they were like, you can't. Obviously, we're going up, like we're just at takeoff.

Pretty known that you're not allowed to get up. And they were like, they don't, you know, why would you even book a flight at that time? But they did and

I love their confidence. Like, I'll pee my pants in an airplane seat before because I know you can't get up. I won't even think of taking my seatbelt off. I revert back to like a four-year-old where it's like you are the adult telling you what to do and I will not I will follow these rules no matter what.

I will immediately put my seat in an upright position, whatever the hell that does, and there's no shot I'll get up. Basically, if anyone with a megaphone, or even if you're a year older than me, I'm like, they know what they're doing. They're in charge of me. Basically, you've been around for six more months than me on this planet. If you're 32, that's an adult. You ask them, you're like, how old are you?

And they say, how old are you, 32? 30. 30, and they're like, 31. You're like, all right, I'll do it. What am I doing? Like, that's how you decide? I mean, that's basically it. You're like, 29, get out of here, dude.

What is this? You haven't even lived life yet. Why would I listen to anything? This guy doesn't get it. Oh, good. This is how 9-11 started, by the way. You just tell him that, too. He's like

you're like i don't know you were what seventh grade when that happened yeah you don't know you don't know how this thing i wish i was in seventh grade when that happened i'm so too much shit nape the the bit you do on tennessee kid is along the same lines with the with the starbucks order or it's like i will never speak up about yeah that's kind of the hair thing we were talking about earlier yeah Oh, yeah. Like you get my order wrong or the food comes out wrong or you give me the wrong

thing. You just take it and move on. Absolutely. I will pay the money. Yeah. Not enjoy it and that's it. Sick. You want to be successful enough that if people mess your order up you can pay for it and move on. Like you don't want to have to be fighting for that.

Where you're like, I can't be dropping this $3 like this and not get what I want. That's all I wanted in life, just be successful enough that if they mess up the order, I say nothing, and then I move on and pay for the exact same thing again.

That's when you know you're at the top. That's what we saw. We saw one of our interns here recently. I don't know if he's an intern. He might be an employee now. He's been you know you're at the top. We saw one of our interns here recently. I don't know if he's an intern. He might be an employee now. He's been here for a

long time. Still never talked to him. Who's this? Getsky. He's an idiot. One of our coworkers saw him

in 7-Eleven. There's a 7-Eleven down the street. So I'm in 7-Eleven arguing with two 7-Eleven employees that he wanted to return his headphones.

And it's like, you bought headphones at 7-Eleven, man. Yeah, that's great. And it's like, you bought headphones at 7-Eleven, man. Yeah, that's great. You knew what you were getting into, right? You can't actually be upset and be demanding money. Whoa, whoa, whoa. These are not.

These candy skull headphones are not up to par. Sorry. All right. I love the adrenaline pills. Big fan. I think those work through the roof. That's actually what made me get the courage to come back in here and return these headphones. Somebody tweeted out last night that I was watching the new special,

and somebody sent me a message about the Starbucks pit and was like, that is you and Feidelberg. That's our defining characteristic. Cowards. I was like, that is you and Feidelberg. That's our defining characteristic. Cowards. I was like, god damn it. That's what we're defined as. Someone was like, you have to get to the Starbucks section. When I think of you and Feidelberg, that's it.

And I was like, okay, cool. I'm fine, yeah. I'm like 40 minutes in, that happens. And I was like, yeah, I was kind of like, all right, I'm okay with this. Oh, I'll wear that for sure. Are you kidding me? Yeah, I think most dudes, especially in that scenario, because coffee is like, you know, my wife will take back.

My wife will take back food from a grocery. Like she'll do like, yeah, and not even like. Like what kind of food? Huh? Or like milk or something. If they got milk and it was like done, she'll take it back. I'll drink a whole gallon of spoiled milk before I go back. Oh, yeah.

What do you talk to the cashier? I don't go with her. I don't know. I would never go back and do it. You know, like it's like a 15-year-old, just like, I don't know, lady. Just like, supposedly they're fine with it. I mean, she comes back with different milk. Not that I really look at it

like I would never know it's actually like flip-flopped like how the world works as far as like chivalry goes like the women certainly take care of us oh yeah

there's like a brouhaha at a bar like my girl punched someone in the face but I'll be it's a great Patrice joke too he has a joke about returning his phone

his phone broke or something and he wants his and his girl's there and he's like just give me a refurbished phone and he has a joke about returning his phone his phone broke or something and he wants his and his girl's there and he's like just give me a refurbished phone and he's like no and he's like i mean i'm gonna let her loose on you and you're gonna he's like and the guy yeah and then he like lets her loose they walk out he's like i have like 50 phones now he's like i told you man just give me a refurbished phone if you would have been doing the right thing i still do that with my mom when I have like something that's like my account like my mom look Bank of America is kind of fucking right now they're not they're not refunding like this check that I clearly canceled I'll take care of it

and she'll call up she'll take care she'll just call me like a hitman she gets done yeah hang up right away My mom returned something I forgot to return, and it was a past due, and I gave it to my mom. And she's like, I got it. Like, just do it. Like a fixer. She's Ray Donovan. Just like, but for not as cool stuff. Just like very white problems.

Like just, hey, these are not, these are like three days past the day. She does all that stuff she was we we bank at the bank that she used to work at and so then like that all the bank stuff

is like cause she knows the people so she'll like she'll call like yeah I mean anything that needs to be done you know

my mom's big thing is that she doesn't let people check the receipt on the way out of like Home Depot or like Price Club checking to see if you're stealing anything she gets super offended about that Mom's big thing is that she doesn't let people check the receipt on the way out of Home Depot or Price Club. They're checking to see if you're stealing anything.

She gets super offended about that. And she causes enormous scenes every single time. We would be in high school. We'd be like, we've got to go to Home Depot and get this. We're like, fuck. And on the way out, she'd be like, don't show it. Keep walking. Don't show them that receipt.

I was like, Mom, I'm just going to show them the receipt. Don't you do it. Police involved sometimes, screaming and yelling. What if you find out your mom's been stealing this whole time? And, I mean, there's a reason why. Are you so stupid you didn't see that?

TV was underneath. Why do I care if they look at a receipt? I only care because I had so much stuff extra that I took. Moron. I've raised an idiot. It's embarrassing. I do have to say, so did you make a conscious decision to keep your comedy clean?

Because I think the biggest compliment I think I can pay is that people don't even realize that you do that you're so funny that it's like because most people do it i think it kind of stands out in a way and i think people here just today i was talking about it and they were like wait what yeah and i think you're probably like i was watching like videos of yours by for like three years i was like wait i don't think i've ever heard nate swear right it's but it doesn't i mean it doesn't slow you down at all there's plenty of guys who do it very well, but I think when it's so masked or in a way that doesn't even stand out is like the pinnacle of funny. Yeah, that's the best comment you get is that, where they don't know.

You don't want it to be about that. I started clean. I grew up with this and a clean comment. And then your brain just works like this. Oh, interesting. So it's not like a business decision where you were like, I'm going to. No, we could only listen to clean comedy. It's like, and then your brain just works like this. Oh, interesting. So it's not like a business decision where you were like, I'm gonna... No, no, no. My parents would kill me. Like, it's that decision.

And, uh, and so they would never come out. I would just be too embarrassed to do it in front of them. And, uh, they, so I started that way. And once you, and then when you start that way, it's like, uh, I've never really had sex jokes. I've never had all this stuff just because I just, I just don't think like that.

So I don't think that way. And so this is the way it's come. And you just hope that people like that, where people will watch it because people will turn off like they hear it's clean. Some people are attracted to it. Some people will be like, I ain't listening to that. Like, you know, and I think what helped a lot is like, I'm all my best friends are filthy. And so like in comics oh it's unbelievable I heard you roll a soda it's like you know that soda big j like it's unbelievable

me and big j used to just have topics and we would just see the direction we would go in and it's just wow we could literally talk about shoes and we're never going to touch the same thing like he is it's just so it's not like you you act one way in your personal life and then your comedy like you you're this way through and through yeah i mean like you know if you're hanging out buddies like yeah and you know it's like i mean i talk about murder a lot uh like a lot of people die in my jokes and uh but it's just like not cursing and you talk about like something that's helped with that too is like when you don't say a curse word, sometimes that makes you say, I have to think of a different word.

And it's, uh, rhythm and timing of how you talk is, is, uh, I think a very big thing in comedy. And so when I have to say, you know, if something's real bad or real good, like I, like I'm saying two extra words that I wouldn't. And like, sometimes that helps, like that helps. Like, uh, it's just, I don't know. You're talking you're talking a little different yeah i mean we just say fuck all the time that's it and a lot of people do and that's and that's great like there's always there's a million different comics you go watch and like or there's something out there for everybody so it's like whatever everybody's like but i but i really i do think it's a testament to

being able to like tell the story better or tell the joke better when you don't have any of those crutches or any of those things that are cheap laughs. The way you do it is incredible. Yeah, I'm better than everybody else. You really are. You really are. And the fact that you used to be fat and now you're not and you're still funny, that's hard to do. That's hard. Because Jonah Hill got skinny and I was like, you were better when you were fat.

Fat guys are usually funnier. Somehow you got... To get skinnier and get funnier, that's annoying. That's obnoxious. To get skinnier and then also get funnier is obnoxious. But I'm not that much skinnier. I think you think... I don't know. I saw those pictures

that Soder put up to celebrate you on Instagram. They weren't great. It's better now. Yeah. Well, dude, I mean, I got my beard cut like two days ago, like trimmed down. I had a makeup lady walk in here and get makeup in front of a bunch of dudes. And, you know, I'm all, it's all like a, it's not good. Like, it's not like it's just rocking and rolling.

I had Taco Bell at 1230 last night, man. Like, it's, you know, and I didn't do it like to, as an olive branch to someone. I made, I'm the only one that ate. Four of us went, it was me, everybody, Dan Chacky, a comic, Ari Shaffir, and Roy Wood Jr. I was the only one that ate. They didn't eat. They went to Taco Bell with you? Yeah. They went in afterwards. And didn't eat. They went to Taco Bell with you? Yeah.

They didn't get anything. And didn't eat. I thought they were, and I was like, I got a group. I don't feel as bad. Right. And then I sit down at the table, and they're just already sitting there. I was like, y'all not getting anything? They're like, no.

So then I just have to eat. So I made them go in there. That's the worst. That looks like a real big problem. I'm making someone go buy drugs. I'm like, just come in this house. I bring my kids to a drug. And I'm like, just come in this house. Like I bring my kids to a drug. Like I'm in this and like, and I'm like, just come in.

Like, it's fine. Like I hate my daughters with me, but I would like some drugs. That's what it feels like. I did that last night. Yeah. All right. Maybe you are still gross. Yeah.

It's gross, dude. I just learned how to like fix it all. I just learned what to wear. You got money. That's all. Yeah, dude. I'm so rich, guys. I could afford so much Taco Bell.

Not like you need the help. I'm sure people are watching. But the Tennessee Kid is on Netflix right now. Very, very funny. The stand-up also is episode one. Pretty much anything Nate's done. Go check it out. Thank you, buddy. All right. That's Nate Barghetsi.

Go check out his answer to the, buddy. All right. That's a Nate Bargatze. Go check out his answer. The internet, uh, subscribe on YouTube, follow us on Instagram at answer the internet and go check out his special on Netflix. The Tennessee kid. If you can watch his bit about the dead horse on Tennessee kids, it's honestly one of the best bits I've ever seen ever. It's so fucking like the finale of that,

like the main punchline of that is if you, if you don't find that funny, like, I don't even know why you're listening to this podcast. And it's also great after listening to the podcast where, like, you'd see where he's like, I got little bits where I'm like, that's not a full story. So, like, yeah. So, the method to it all. He probably didn't. The way he went from TSA to getting on the flight. Yes. To landing in Seattle, climbing Mount Redier and seeing a dead horse.

All those things probably didn't happen in succession, but they're so fucking beautiful. Yeah, the way he paints that picture, he is an absolute master of it. And, you know, dead horses are right up our alley. So go check out the Tennessee Kid as well as his answer to the internet. Now it's time to talk to Vinny Guadagnino, Pauly D, Pauly Del Vecchio.

They got a new show out called Double Shot at Love where they're just going to run through a bunch of hoes. What a life. What a life. let's talk to these guys a couple of my favorite cats on the planet paulie and vinnie what do you got all right i don't get it let's get into it let's get into it it's paulie d it's vinnie guadagnino back in the building this is actually the first time i'm meeting paulie i know you've been here before but but I have not had the pleasure of Paulie D yet. So you guys are back. New show coming out Thursday, Double Shot at Love,

which I think might be the first reality show where we're just going to watch guys double-team girls. I don't know what's going to happen with you two maniacs. I think we'll call it Double Shot. I don't know how this is going to end, but it can't go too well. What was that? You guys have done, I mean, you've been together, the dynamic duo, for a long time now. But the actual Bachelor format is a whole different animal. So how'd that play out?

Yeah, we've been double teaming for a long time. This is a little different. You guys have seen us take home the girls from the club. Now we actually are getting to know them like we're getting to know their name oh you're falling in love we're spending like more than just like on one night with them um but it was fun it was hard it seems baller living in a mansion with 20 women in la dude what are you talking about it seems impossible like i'm not jealous of you guys at all. This is like the hardest job you've ever had. Everyone always says to us, it's so fun, right?

It's 20 different personalities, and let me just tell you, you spend time with one, the other one's a hating. Of course. Now I leave that one, and then they're like, what just happened? Why'd you leave me? Now you go to that one. It's like that 20 times. Yeah.

I can't even know one girl's personality man one is a pain 20? yeah it was crazy were there any fist fights? there was drama there was open

open hand slaps clawing hair pulling a little bit of drama we're like the ratchet bachelor yeah let's face it the ratchet

yeah that's what the show is very informal now it's hard enough to have to live with, you know, 20 different people, you know, women, both people. It's my nightmare to have to break up with 18 different. Theoretically, that's what happens. Again, one, man. That's just one.

We've talked about this extensively on this podcast. I've never broken up with a person. Yeah. I just like, I'll just ride it out until you decide to hate me. And it'll happen soon enough. Don't worry about it. In the beginning, so you start eliminating this 20 out until you decide to hate me and it'll happen soon enough don't worry about it in the beginning so you start eliminating this 20 so you gotta keep narrowing it down we're constantly eliminating women but as we get deeper into the process you're actually getting to know these women so you don't know if you're letting go the wrong one

now you know them as a person so it actually it you feel bad sending somebody home yeah but wait but everybody's here for fucking you know like you know that they're here for a television show yeah so you when it's not like you not like maybe you're breaking some hearts, but I think some people you can be like, all right, you go home. There are some duds that get rid of. And those are the ones that get rid of immediately in the beginning. Yeah. I mean, that's just getting fired.

Getting fired still sucks. Yeah, that's true. Either way, it's not a fun conversation to have. No doubt. You had, I watched the introduction or the tour of the house. First of all, it's fucking awesome. Second of all, I didn't know you were a big bike guy. Yeah, I've been riding bikes my whole life.

Really? You don't strike me as a bike guy. Yeah, I've been riding like 30 bikes. 30? Oh, you're retro. You're doing well then. Paulie D money is the fucking aspiration. He does like wheelies and stands on them.

Do you really? Do you like the Creed video? How do you get the helmet on, man? You don't even put the headphones on right now. Have you ever wanted to cut that, like, different hairstyle or something like that? Like, it's such like an iconic part of your image. Have you ever wanted to be like,

dude, I just want to shave my head today. I don't want to like, sometimes I'll just like put a hat on and be like, I can't fucking, I have like kind of long hair. I can't like blow dry and shit today. Like, do you ever like fuck this? When I have that feeling, I do throw a hat on. So I'm like, I don't have to do anything. I can't blow dry and shit today. Do you ever fuck this? When I have that feeling, I do throw a hat on. I don't have to do anything. I'll wear a hat.

But I did try to change it. I changed it. It just didn't feel like myself. So I changed it right back. You lost your superpowers. I was going to say, it's like Superman's cape. I've got to have the look going. Strength is in the blowout.

Picture him walking around the street like, hi. No one looks at him. Change my voice. If I shave my hair hair i'm this guy yeah no one know who the fuck you are is there any uh interaction with any other cast mates or just you two rolling on this one oh you know you know you brought the whole thing back yeah we can't we can't go anywhere without them all the usual characters this this show is everything in one it's jersey Shore it's dating

it's challenge it's five shows in one if you ask me okay so we had a show with our castmates I feel like you guys are actually

you know you've been running around like partying and hooking up with chicks for a long time but how fucking tired are you Jesus Christ

he doesn't fucking stop you even sleep like I sleep on a plane sometimes. He wakes up positive every day. Yeah, that's the other thing. It's so obnoxious. Yeah.

He's just starting a wrong show. Welcome to his life. That's how he feels. It's always like. A pet peeve about Paulie. I'm like, stop being so happy. Come on. Join us.

Join the miserable people. I'll tell you what. Water's warm, baby. When you wake up every day with just like this fucking sucks, it's pretty good. Set the miserable people. I'll tell you what, water's warm, baby. When you wake up every day with just like, this fucking sucks, it's pretty good. Set the bar low. You can never be let down, man. There you go. But I guess if I had enough money for 30 bikes and shit like that, the Jesus piece, I'd be

like, hey, life is pretty good, you know? But I feel like at heart, you guys are nice guys, right? I mean, you guys have blown up. You've seen success. But part of the reason why I kept watching all these years is there is something relatable nice guys right like i mean you know you guys have blown up you've seen success but like part of the reason why i kept watching all these years is like there is something like relatable or whatever that it's like these are normal people despite the circus around it so this this whole thing of you know yeah maybe people are here for fame or for the tv show but at the end of the day

you don't want to like you don't want drama you don't want to hurt anybody you don't you know right but you have to almost in this yeah the whole point is kind of drama and breakups right so you're signing up for something that's not really at your core but also like you said like we're not in it we're all living in the house together so we're not living like a celebrity lifestyle and like this kid's not like flying in on his private jet like we're all living in this house and on an equal playing field there's a mansion but yeah i saw the I saw the house. It's a celebrity lifestyle. Bro, it's an old mansion. Oh, fuck that.

I can't believe you agreed to do the show at an old mansion. Did you see the faucets? They weren't even stainless steel. That actually had no hot water. No, no hot water. That's actually... That's basically Fyre Fest, you guys.

There's 20 women taking showers, so we had no water. What was the reaction when you saw the uh or were you even i guess you're not involved in picking any girls right you're meeting for the first time so you you just get them served up to you yeah so so you walk in like pamphlets and going through flyer like real life tinder shit no no no you just that would be too it would be a bit different i was gonna say how do you think you saw some of those girls i don't know if they would have vetted them that way.

I mean, I think it would have been a different crop. So you walk in, whatever the first premiere, you know, is there a moment you walk in and there's like a cocktail room of girls or some shit? And I know you kind of like, you play them a little bit. You act like you're the host. Yeah, yeah. We play a prank. I'm the host first.

I tell them, you guys are here. You came here to meet a celebrity. You don't know who it is. Blah, blah, blah. And then it's Paulie D. And he does, you guys are here. You came here to meet a celebrity. You don't know who it is. Blah, blah, blah. And then it's Paulie D. And he does the same thing to me. With a different group of 10 women. A different group of 10 women.

And they don't know that there's another group of 10 women. Got it, got it, got it. I thought it was the same group. I was like, wow, you guys really picked the high ones. No, so the prank is, okay, so we tell this group they think they're just dating one. They tell this group they're just dating one. And then they already sized up their competition as 10 girls. They don't know there's 10 more.

And they don't know it's two guys instead of one. So it's like prank on prank on prank. And so when you see the crop of 10 and then 20 together, were you guys like, all right, like producers, you did your thing? Or is it like, oh, boy, it's going to be a long six weeks? Well, we actually saw them walk out like one at a time. Yeah, we watched it. We watched it like on a video, like on a screen.

And there were some that were questionable. Like some like, okay, no, Yeah, we watched it. We watched it like on a video, like on a screen. And there was some that were questionable. Like some like, okay, no, some, what are you doing here? See, some it's like, oh, that was like season one, Jersey Shore. Some of these girls

are like season three fame, Jersey Shore. Pessimistic. I was surprised at how many, like, I'm like, okay. Like, I can work with that. You know, like, oh my God.

All I need is like one. You know what I mean? Now, is there a moment where you guys have any uh you know you wanted the same girl sort of beef nah i mean we've always been good about splitting up yeah that always happens naturally and like if we do like the same one she has the right to date both of us and then choose it'll just happen organically and then if a girl likes him and all that going on here she's not gonna like you I don't like her back

because like she doesn't like you she doesn't like me you know vice versa same thing she has just that sentence right there

like she has the right to date both of us that's fucking crazy I know that's a great sentence only him no one else it sounds twisted

but it's like an unnatural thing but I do believe that like they will put in front of us for a reason. Oh, we're going to get romantic with it. Absolutely. But, like, yes, they signed up for a television show. But, okay, we now are in front of each other. So let's see if there's anything here.

Now I have a month to do so. So I have a month to see if there's a connection here with any of these women. You said it was kind of bachelor. Is there any promise that you guys went into the show with? Like, we'll, I don't think it was, you guys will get married at the end of it.

But like, is there like, we'll stay together. We will have like some kind of relationship. You guys wifed up right now? Or is it just like, we'll see what happens. I can't give it away.

Yeah. We'll say that we're in like major lockdown right now. Where? Like bachelor type lockdown stuff. Not allowed to talk? No. Like, and till late after it airs.

Right. So our whole love life and everything is a secret. Yeah. So like you can't even be out with another girl right now. Right. If you were not dating. Maybe I don't want to be. Maybe you're married right now.

You don't know. You guys should just cut to the chase and marry each other. We know where this is going, bro. We are bro-mitted, but he has itches that I can't scratch. We all know that. Not that many. He scratches a whole lot. What the?

He was scratching me in the car right over here. He was scratched. Paulie, I'm from New England, so I have a few questions for you right now. One, you're Tyler Kyrie. What's happening? That's my boy. That's my boy. That's my boy. I know.

Actually, that's actually more of a Knicks question now as far as I understand. So we can go back to New York here. What's going on with Kyrie? Let's talk to him. That's my boy, man. I know. What's he telling you?

Where's he leaning right now? I'm an NBA fan. And you're a bit jealous. I've seen him dap him up and then with his boy Cook, and he thought that Cook was me. That's a lie. That's the only reason why he That's the only reason why. He knows us, bro.

I don't know. I can't say. How did that come about? How did you know Kyrie? Just, you know what? He gapped you up during the game, right? Bro, mid-game. And then he came to the grand after we kicked it after. That's why I just... The New England love, man. That's it. That's how we link.

And he hasn't given you any little secrets? Yes, he has. He didn't say, I'll see you in New York. Yes, he has. He didn't say. All right, Ben, how about this? You and Goon are tight by blood. Yeah.

When's Gronk coming back? So Goon's my brother. That's my family. And Gronk's my boy. Listen, I mean, I don't know officially if, when, or how, but I don't see it lasting. He's too... No, he's not. Are you kidding me? He's making like 10 TV shows

and shit. He has too much fun. Once Brady gives the call, like, dude, just come back for six games, you're good. You know? And first of all, who says no to Brady? So if Brady has him. He's in the game today. He's in the Red Sox today. He threw a first pitch. He's not the Red Sox today through a first pitch.

He's not ready to take off that uniform. No, he's not. What's your gut on Kyrie, though? No inside scoop, but where do you think Kyrie's going to play? I want him to come to the Knicks. I think we need a point guard more than a lot. Because there's a lot of names being thrown around, like Durant and all that stuff.

Rick Buecher said 99% is on deal. Kyrie? No, Durant. Oh, Kyrie. Did he move his business to New York? Yeah, but I mean, if you move to Milwaukee, it's one thing. He moved to New York, whatever. I can't believe anybody's going to come here.

I know. Weren't you at the game the same time? Yeah, I was at the net game. You were at the net game the same time. No one dapped me up during the fucking game. Who's going to dapp me up from the nets, though? Get a little D'Angelo Russell love. Come on.

They're doing better than we are right now. I actually had a a little D'Angelo Russell love. Come on. They're doing better than we are right now. I could have partied with D'Angelo Russell. Oh, okay. Excuse me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If the Greek freak dabbed me up, that would be dope. Yo, watching him play in person is crazy. He'll dab you up from across the fucking court.

Yeah, no, he's humongous. It's nuts. Who's the wildest athlete you guys have partied with? The wildest athlete? What person? Or just in general? I'm going crazy. Floyd Mayweather. Floyd Mayweather.

Floyd Mayweather? Oh, shit. I didn't even know he was that like. But he's dope, man. He rolls with a squad and they're all cool, man. Does he get fucked up?

I can't imagine him getting fucked up. No, he doesn't get fucked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. But he parties. Yeah, and every time we're out,

I'm out at Bounce and stuff. All the Jets are there and the Giants. They go crazy crazy those guys they're not that's because athlete athletes aren't human like we had uh there was uh the bruins were playing down in um they're playing florida so they were in fort lauderdale they're playing the panthers and i had a couple of people tweet me being like yo the bruins were out at 4 a.m last night they had a seven o'clock game like they were hammered whole team yeah and so i texted

all my buddies who gamble uh i don't but i was just kind of giving them a tip. Yeah. I was like, yo, just so you know, like the Bruins were out late last night. No, they don't. It was like awesome. Great tip.

Oh, that's cool. But anyway, six to like athletes don't feel that shit. They just go to that level. You're probably the same way. Yeah.

Same way. And Gronk, we party with him. He's he's not human. I know he's not human. He's over this like he was spiking pineapples in Vegas on the stage while I was DJing for the pool party.

Like, where did you even find that pineapple? And you're spiking it as if it's a football. He's an animal. He's an animal. I love it. I love it. Are you going to slow down at all? No.

Any signs? No, no, no. I don't like to. It's too... I mean, you've been doing this shit forever. You've been doing this shit since the days of Providence when Providence was fucking, like, a lawless town, right? It's true. I used to hit Providence.

I used to hit Bar 1 when I was like 14. Yes, I DJ'd there. Yeah, lit, man. Was there a song there? Right, right, exactly. I know you knew these spots. Because when I say it, he remembers it. You guys really are a married couple, bro. You used to get into those bars with like a piece of paper like that meme

where it says like, yo, I'm 21. And everybody, yeah yeah it was such bull you'd see cops would come in and be like you gotta put your drink down just step away from it one step

they were going to the back to get their take it was fucking dude like this is like modern day Providence it was crazy and now there's so many people that are DJs

that like come out and they're like models and like I'm a DJ he's been doing this like what 15 years before Jersey Shore yeah you know so how do you have a guido up in the Providence area was that like a style

I just thought it was I just thought it was such a like a New York Jersey Westchester the last guido alive that looks right now I am but growing up everybody looked like me I mean the high school I went to, it was a ton of them. And I just could never, I could never pull that off. Like, I saw it was working. You know what I mean? Like, they were getting everything they wanted to get. I was like, can I blow this hair out?

Nope, can't do it. Can I tan? Nope. I'll be sunburned with fucking weird hair, man. The rest of your castmates are obviously, after the reunion episode, seasons, everything still good. Like, you know, you come back together, like, let's do it again. And then it all still love. Like, you guys all still get along.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's wild. I feel like you guys are... More than ever. Yeah, like, thick and thin. Most people, I feel like, by now would be like, you know. Well, we did do that. Like, all those years we had off, like, some of us didn't talk to each other.

Like, we didn't talk to Mike for years. And now he's like, we couldn't imagine our life without him. Now he's in jail. We talk to him every day. Yeah. I heard he's doing good. He's doing great. He's not going to want to leave.

I think I saw a New York Post headline that said he's enjoying jail. Well, I wonder if he's enjoying it. He's actually just staying positive. He knows he has some great things to come home to. He think I saw a New York Post headline that said he's enjoying jail. Well, I want to be sure. He's actually just staying positive. He knows he has some great things to come home to. He comes home to a job. We're still filming. He comes home to his wife. It's like we were saying about him.

Like, yo, can you be a little bit miserable? Like, you're in jail. He's making me feel good about my days. He works out. Positive vibes to you, bro. There's no jail bars. He called it rehab, but him being sober. So it's like a vacation, like a little camp.

I feel like the worst part is that he can't eat what he wants to eat, right? Probably. When you're used to like seven or eight courses per meal. But he didn't need that detox, though. Yeah, man. He was getting a little crazy. The keto guido over here, making sure your voice stays fit. But he can't be keto in there, I don't think.

No. So back to the show. Anything that stood out as far as as you know like like i said we've seen bachelor shows before we've seen dating shows before like what's gonna separate other than just you two people instead of one what's gonna separate double shot we had these like challenges like they don't do like all right so on the bachelor you're watching it and he just kind of picks i guess like who's dating at that time it It's just like, all right, five of you are coming on a date. This one, we had to compete for who's dating who.

So like, you know, for example, it was like a hair gel challenge, shockingly, where we had to suspend ourselves over like a monkey bar, and the first person to let go fell into a tub of hair gel. I'm comfortable around gel. He came out looking. He's got gills. He's breathing that shit in. My body's 90% made of hair Joe so like

you know then the winner of that got to like pick a girl for a date and then they compete against each other and pick one of us so we had physical ones

plus like these funny mental ones like we had a debate that was like the stupidest questions that were asked to us so we're gonna ask you

some stupid questions don't worry about that that's what we do here but uh yeah the challenge is like that's why to us. Oh, yeah. We're going to ask you some stupid questions. Don't worry about that. That's what we do here. But yeah, the challenge is like, that's why he said it's a bunch of shows in one. Yeah. I saw that. I think I saw that in the trailer. You guys, one of you, I forget who it was, was in the ring with fucking massive boxing

gloves. Yeah, we boxed. You were fighting someone though. It wasn't one of you two. No, it was both of us. Oh, it was both of you? Yeah. It must have been you who looked really tan.

I thought you were fighting a black guy. That was me. That sounds about right. Checks out. Do you think that when you signed up for the Jersey Shore, obviously you're the type of people who are like, you signed up for a reason. You're inclined to try to be on TV.

But were you like, I'm going to live a life like this? I'm going to be a famous DJ. I'm going to be on TV. You thought it was just going to be a wild thing to do. You to be on TV. Like, you thought it was just going to be like a wild thing to do. You weren't like thinking of it like, how can I take this

and turn it into blah, blah, blah. You were just winging it. Actually, when I signed up to do this thing, it was like, we didn't know what it was. We didn't know the name of it. It was like,

packed for 30 days, you're going to live in a house. I thought it was like a real world type show. Like what you did to the chicks. Show up and you're going to date somebody. Bro, I thought I was

going to be a local celebrity. Like, I thought I was going to kill it in Staten Island at the shore. Because I was 21 and I was going out. And I'm like, oh, man, I wish I had a little bit of fame, like a couple cameras on me. I'm going to get all the girls over here. Got a little more than you bargained for. Look what happened. Do you regret it?

Are you now like, I wish I didn't have as much fame? No. I feel like you came back around i feel like the first time i met you and we were talking you were a little more like standoffish about jersey shore oh yeah like then you then you obviously signed up for it again and i feel like you embrace it a little bit more yeah i think all of us like that's why the family vacation is so funny now because you would think about it over like you know i need to get rid of that name i don don't want to be Vinny from Jersey Shore anymore. And I still don't. Like, I'm not going to lie.

But it is what it is. Like, when you get older, you don't take yourself so seriously anymore. And none of us do. That's why it's so fun to watch us. Because we just don't give a fuck anymore. Yeah, it's really true. Do you ever resent it, Pauly? Like, you're a good DJ.

Do you ever resent, like, people thinking you got famous? Obviously, it helps. But do you ever think, like, you got famous obviously it helps but do you ever think like no I'm fucking good at this like being on a show helped but like it's not I'm not getting this gig

because I was on a jury show I'm getting this gig because that's how they found out about me but I'm fucking good at this yeah no it took a lot of years to prove to the world that I wasn't just

a reality show DJ that I was doing it 10 years before the show you know and and I don't mind proving the skeptics wrong because it's what I love to do. So if you ever are skeptical, I was always like, come to a show, come to a show.

Any other DJ in the world, come to the show. You can't really hate on my come up the way I came up. I came up. It just all I did was I had an audience and I showed the audience what I can do. I'm thankful and grateful for this audience. I'm able to live out my dream. And my dream always was to get out of Rhode Island and DJ in New York and New Jersey, that type of thing. And then Las Vegas.

And so this gave me that opportunity to do that and then to hold the residencies that keeps you there as your talent. Yeah, if he wasn't good, then he wouldn't keep getting books. A thousand percent. There's been plenty of people who are on reality shows that just come and go because they don't have the talent to make it last. And then people are like, all right, I'm going to be a DJ. Okay, well, you're not going to last.

I think it is just because a DJ is a profession that you can throw around. It's like when you click around on your laptop, you're a DJ sort of thing but you actually do it you actually do it is crazy like uh i think you know dante diana that's he's like a buddy of ours he's the blackout tour with us way back in the day yeah and when i'm at when i ask him like who like like some really good djs he's like paulie d and then he's like he's like the best in the world always shocks me he's always the best in the world little john and kid rock i'm like really yeah those are the fucking yeah he would never be yeah he would never never think it yeah and and now like uh you know as you get older whatever it just continues everybody's families now kids your dad i am my dad yeah and that's i mean yeah that's five years like not even like your dad you've been dad for a while now dude and that's why it's cool to continue filming like

jersey show season three everybody has so much going on in life, we get to capture that. You lived, grew up with us, now here we are, and still following us. Nicole's pregnant right now. Dina just had a baby. Mike's in jail. Everybody has stuff going on.

They're going to bed. We're looking for love. You get to follow that, too. It's just cool. That's how we talk about here. Kevin's had kids. People have gotten married. Other people are having kids.

It's weird to have that following while you grow up. Well, now you can be Vinny from Double Shot of Love, bro. No. One day I'll just be Vinny. Vinny. Just Vinny. So the new show is Thursday, MTV, two hours. Yes.

Presented with zero commercial interruptions. Yeah. So you're going to get all Vinny, all Pauly, and all the Ratchet Bachelor going. So check out Double Shot of Love Thursday night on MTV. Thank you, fellas. Thank you. Thanks.