KFC Radio - Nate Got Cucked

Episode Date: May 15, 2023

We catch up with Nate to recap his last appearance on KFCR Radio, how it was one of his best moments at Barstool, and how he quickly took that happiness out back like Old Yeller. He then tells us the story of how he got cucked in Chicago. Get KFC Radio tickets here: https://linktr.ee/kfcrlive All other KFCR needs can be found here: https://linktr.ee/kfcr Support the sponsors: Gametime Download the Gametime app or go to the website, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Betterhelp Visit BetterHelp.com/KFC today to get 10% off your first month. Manscaped Get 20% off + free shipping with the code KFC at manscaped.com Sony Pictures - The Machine Get your tickets now! THE MACHINE is exclusively in theaters May 26th. Rated R.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. In 36 hours, I went from New York to Chicago, thought I was 100% ghosted, had a great five hours, and then got cock-cocked. Yes. That's the elevator pitch. Now let's get into the details. Subscribe to the podcast, KFC Radio on YouTube. Bang.

So the dog is back for his quarterly vent session. I think this is more for you than it is for us, but I also think that you bring— No, no, this is to get the stock price back up. Yeah, no, but I think it does do well. Is it already back down? When did it go up? Well, stock price back up. Yeah, no, but I think it does do well. Is it already back down? When did it go up? Well, you said back up. That implies...

Well, it was, you know... Mints dropped the Ben word. We went down 15% the next day. How long are you going to sit on that one? He said that too easily. The Ben word. I stole that from PFT. I would never have taken credit for that.

I don't know how that didn't catch on, though. Oh, I walked out to the whatever area office yesterday, and Nate was just walking around in Macy's Hooters, a Hawkers shirt. Yeah. All right, Pete, put the jersey in the wrap. I'm going to send it to Jeff D. Lowe. Yeah.

We got to hang it in the locker like when a baseball player gets his eyes in a car crash. We were trying to think, is it like wearing a Michael Vick jersey or a Hernandez jersey? Probably. People see you in the streets. I don't know if it's okay to wear it. No, it's the opposite.

People see you in the streets and they're like, you're part of the cause, brother. That's why, oh, is Mincy going to be okay? It's like, dude, he's from the South. Places are lining up to sign this guy up. I'm telling you, Hogs for the South. Like, places are lining up to sign this guy up. I'm telling you, Hogs for the Cause is going to be the biggest theater ever. They're going to raise all of the money for the pigs or something.

That's what they raise money for, is the pigs. So what sparked your, was it the Mincy situation? You texted us and said, can I have my quarterly event? And then we told you that you have to tell a different story. But before we get to that, I want to know what sparked your interest in coming back on. Well, there's a few things. One, so I was on a few months ago, and it was received very well. Very well. People loved it.

I don't get a lot of that positive feedback. I'm not very funny or talented or likable, so I don't get a lot of that positive feedback. I'm not very funny or talented or likable, so I don't get a lot of positive feedback. And likable that you said that. See? You're learning. It took 10 years, but you're learning. This is year 10.

People were like sucking my dick and saying how good it was. I was like, oh, this feels great. Year 10, maybe you can make $3 million a year now too. Year 10 got him. Good for him. I don't even know. No, stop. No, he's way more talented than I am.

I think you're more bitter about that than I am. John invented Saturdays for the boys and got yelled at for asking for money for it. Yesterday, we did a CEO camp thing for these people who came. Right, right, right. And this guy goes, so do you guys, first of all, it was a rather invasive question for the setting we were in. He was just like, so what kind of percentage do you guys get? It's basically asking somebody what their salary is. And he's like, I'm sure that it's different for different people.

I'm sure you get a bigger percentage than other people. And I was like, hey, bro, what percentage did you get for Saturdays with the boys? He was like, bigger percentage than other people i was like hey bro what's what what percentage did you get percentages of the boys he was like i got zero and i was like so did everyone in this room bro so everybody was really nice and i think thank you to everybody who was nice about it because i thought it went very well and i don't know you did it too no no no um i'm just being on the last episode oh you're like i didn't fuck about those kids yeah not at all yeah and well you brought so it reminded me of when so there's this wrestler named zach rider and he was just like a jobber his entire career and then one random wrestlemania they let him win the intercontinental title it was the biggest moment of his career and then they um had him lose the

very next day they never heard from him again. That should have been the bit, is that Nate never comes back. Well, here's the thing. And we cancel it. Here's the thing. So I do the KFC Radio episode. I'm flying high.

I'm like, maybe I'm good. Maybe I'm funny. All this stuff. Everybody, Nate, all the comments on YouTube, Nate's not so bad. The dog's funny. I was like, yeah, they get it now. Two days later,

the Mean Girls things happen where I'm just like motherfucking them in the text. I knew you did something right away. I forgot it was just just motherfucked all your coworkers. Dude, Dave sent out the tweet where he goes, somebody got me to blog

and he cracks his fingers. I was like, this is it. My last half hour of feeling good about myself. You were such a dickhead in those texts. I remember I had the memory of being like, oh, come on, Nate. You called me. What are you thinking?

I went crazy, man. I don't know. Bro, let me, like, why? Actually, I shouldn't say this because maybe this is the dog brand because you come on here and you vent and people love it. But it's like, why are you still even, why do you fucking care? Who cares? Who cares what the Mean Girls do or don't do?

And who cares? Well, because. I mean, I care to the extent, like, it's entertaining. Let's talk about it. But, like, I don't care to my core. we don't care to have a long text message conversation with francis about it yeah so i lost my mind because i was like i i knew there was a reason he was doing this that you know just wasn't whatever but uh and i i think he will say i was right but anyway i lost my mind what you think that Francis was not...

I think it's all political. He was defending them to curry favor? I mean, I think they'd probably disagree. I think we defended them on this show. And then they said you didn't defend them hard enough. Yeah, I don't think everything's political.

I honestly don't understand. No, I was in the wrong a million percent i apologize to everybody like the only thing that you were right about is that there was there's not enough time of you not publishing that blog it was 14 minutes yeah if it was like you know that that sat in drafts for like a day or a week or something then then yeah it was scheduled and then i had my bipolar fucking text meltdown that's the problem so no matter what you you were in the right on you just you ruined all of it by being the dog but that's what the dog does you can't get a junkyard dog and then be surprised when he like barks at the people walk by the thing is dave lives for that stuff yeah it's like, oh, Dave hates you.

It's like, this is the happiest Dave's been in months. It's what made him like $200 million. His dumb shit like that, you know? God, I hate when you bring up money. Like, you should have been the guy like $200 million or something. It was almost you or something. No, I got exactly what I deserved. Big fat zero.

It was funny that you had like yeah you just you you flew too close to the sun on wings made of uh kfc radio and then plummeted right back down but hey it's where i belong it's another it's where i'm the ditch digger buddy like i belong in the trenches you are the internet but i will say and we can get we can talk about the old school, new school, Barstool, blah, blah, blah stuff. People are like, we want the dog back. This is where the dog's at his best.

The second I do something dogish, all the motherfuckers come out and say, fucking kill yourself. You should be fired. This and that. Dave, why don't you fire this guy? That's part of the gig. Yeah. If that's what they want, they have to be on my side.

You can't have it both ways. I think everyone's kind of the gig. Yeah. If that's what they want, they have to be on my side. You can't have it both ways. I think everyone kind of romantics ever just, I mean, it's not just the Barstool thing. It's the world. You always romanticize the past. And you're like, if we had like old Barstool, this video sucks. Dude, those videos are so bad. You guys are just running around cones in a park with like shit. Some of them are like, especially now, like you're putting out your shit that's like produced and thought out and directed and written and improvised.

And it's like, that is a good video. Like we went to a local like fair that was happening. And like, like there was a couple funny moments. And then there was, and because we're the most narcissistic assholes in the world, especially coming from Dave in the Milton office, I don't think anything got edited. We went to King Richard's Fair for like 75 minutes, and it was a 75-minute video. There was so much bullshit.

It was different and funny at the time for what it was. Nobody on the internet was really doing anything. That might be true. At that time, it's almost like TV back in the day. If people keep not betting on the Barstool Sportsbook, it'll go back to being five people using cell phones again.

We're on our way, folks. I'm telling you, I know that my stock is going to be worthless. I know it. That's the way the script ends. It's just like, I got a little bit of money. I can't complain. The idea of... it's just like, you know, I got a little bit of money. I'm not, I can't complain, but like the idea of, you know,

like, like it's just funny when, when people like Dave's worth like hundreds of millions of dollars. And a lot of that's tied up in stock. Yeah. And it's just like, in my mind that will work out for Dave. And in my mind,

for me, it won't work out for me, even though it's the same. Somehow it'll be like, no, he can cash in on his right now. You can cash in on yours tomorrow and in the meantime it's gonna plump something like that i do think the whole not my barstool stuff

was so overblown first of all let me just say this so stupid people romanticizing the past are not even talking about the past no they're talking about like five years ago yeah like you like we've been around long enough that there's a beginning a middle end and end and there's there's like new new and new new new new like you're the people are like i mean we get people at our shows who are like brother i've been reading since 2017 like okay where were you for the first eight years like that's nothing bro you know so that's another thing too there are some tweets that I was just like, that is the most cringy bullshit tweets I've ever seen in my life. But those are the diehards who like, you know. Internally, too.

When it happens, not if, when it happens to me, I hope that there's some people saying, you know, rallying for me, too. I think the internal was the worst part. I think we also don't publicize when we do get not in trouble or like ch chastised or whatever it's like people get in trouble for saying stuff a lot it's just we don't make it a big deal so the whole you can't oh i kind of disagree i don't think anybody gets in trouble for anything yeah maybe get like a slap on the wrist or like uh you know the sponsor got upset about this i've never heard from penn once i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing like i've never talked to anybody from Penn they have no problem with me it's probably because they don't even know what my show is

or what we do here I don't think there's any reason for people to be nervous or whatever see but that's the fuck right now this is it right here this is it we're such a goddamn overreactor this is not the person I was talking to in the text right afterwards

no he's losing his mind again You're such a goddamn overreactor. This is not the person I was talking to in the text right afterwards. No, I mean. He's losing his mind again. I don't think people have. He just goes crazy. He's just the dog. I don't think there's. You're like, we don't have job security anymore. What are you talking about?

Don't say the word. The most secure job. It's the most secure job in the world. We cannot get fired unless you say the only word in the English language. Dave can't save a job anymore, which I think is the biggest change that was made. Sure. It's jobs that he should probably have not been saving for the last 20 years. I think Dave could save a job he really wants to save. I think, again, it's—

I think there's a debate to be had. I think if it's a really bad situation and Jay from Penn is like, we will lose it all. Nobody's safe. I don't even know if Dave himself is safe. But if there's a gray area, I don't think. But if there's a gray area. Yes, I think if there's a gray area, Dave can save the job. If it's not the N-word, if it's not. It was the N-word, dude.

It was the N-word. If it's something else, if it's another slur that's like i know they're all bad but if there's a lesser one if it's a joke or another word that's like you know off limits but not really if it's a distasteful joke if it's bad timing all that other shit uh i think dave would stand up for somebody and probably and if it was somebody important enough and would be okay with it this is the perfect storm of the worst thing you can do and a person didn't make any money. I'm not saying Dave wouldn't try, but

I thought that was the only major takeaway is he cannot say don't fire this person. But that is like, welcome to the rest of the fucking world. That's what I said. Every other company in the world of our magnitude has like a,

almost a set rule. If you're in the bottom 10% of performers, you're gone. That's it. You're done. If you don't make this, here's the money. If you don't make it,

if you don't earn it, you don't bring in this many clients, whatever your metric is, you're gone. And we don't have that. And I think that's, that's all, you know,

that's awesome for are the people at the bottom, you know, that sucks for are the people who bust their ass and really try and get nowhere further than the same people at the bottom. Those people who are like, I've been here for 10 years. I'll tell you who it's doing it for. You're not right about that.

It's worse for the people directly in the middle. Right. That's what I mean. Who know that like, okay, let's say me, I know I can't do, you can't make chicklets,

KC radio, whatever. I know I can't do that. can't make. Chicklets, KT radio, whatever. I know I can't do that. Right. I'm also not at the very bottom. What the people at my level see the people who do absolutely zero, but still get paid. And why would they try? What the fuck would I continually bust my ass knowing my limits, but I just want to make a difference. I want to earn my paycheck and nobody even, and nobody know what really sucks because you're in the middle nobody is even paying attention to that but what they're doing is

praising the latest guy who like said something goofy on a one-time video i will say like and well why do i even try to write this blog or script this video or or do this this this podcast because what i should have done was you know my hat and freak out and all this crazy shit i have always appreciated though about barcel is you don't need necessarily to have the metrics and advertisers if you can have you know the mincey niche where you are constantly providing content whether you want to or not like he was always on your timeline well here's what i think might change in the new bar and i think that's important to our ecosystem to have. You can't have everybody being the best.

It's not going to work. I think what might change is the old barstool. Everybody knew everybody. Everybody worked with everybody. Everybody sat with everybody. You were friends in and out of work. Your enemies in and out of work. You always like so you could come in and maybe your show is not monetized

and it doesn't do a lot of downloads but you would always say something ridiculous on radio that would spark a topic and then the rundown would be good and then dave would use you as a punching bag and you know he's riding tommy smokes and pretending he's a fucking horse and putting you in a bird cage and all these things And that made all of Barstool better. And then theoretically you hope money, more money comes in, more salaries go higher. And so even if you're not like directly making money, you're providing value as we start to like become just like a media company

and branch off. It's like that dude being a fucking, you know, moron over there just making a rant rant video is like that doesn't do anything for me over here we're not even connected that that that doesn't raise all ships you know what i mean so i think that might be a different story where it's like okay you're like one guy's punching bag or one show's mascot or one show's like goofy, a whack pack member. It doesn't do much for anybody else anymore, you know?

And it used to kind of help everybody. And now I know, I don't know if it does. If you can get in the door, but you know that, you know, you're not going to become the superstar. You just find someone to hit your wagon to that way.

Yeah. But that's, it's like, yeah, like that's like, that is exactly what I like. You're right. And you should decide like, Hey, all right,

I'm here. I like this shit. I want to be good. Should I work hard and try to build a show or should I just become somebody's like, should I ride these coattails? Unfortunately, the way we're set up right now, it's probably like ride the coattails. But I think there is also value in that.

If, if people look at it the same way where like it's not a barstool sports anymore every show is its own original version of barstool yeah and then you have your yeah right so we like we're talking about like oh this person works on this show and it doesn't really do anything for me well then i need to find my that person yeah yeah yeah but i also like but and then what you do what you hope you find is somebody who's like i don't want to just be a punching bag i want to like have my own my own thing yeah and even if it's a smaller middle of the road or lower tier it'll be mine and i'll i worked at it and i made it a good thing rather than just be a fucking and it's a. It's 100% possible. I think Tommy is a great example. And he,

I mean, he's a star, dude. He's very funny. He works so hard. He works so hard. And he like, ate shit for a while. He did all the

behind the scenes for a while. And then slowly, like, just naturally became talent. Very slowly. Almost like,

I can't really describe how. Inception. Oh, yeah. I turned around and I was like i was like did i know tony was a star like it like it happened and then i was like and then like you like think back you're like oh yeah you spent it for a while right and i would have it wasn't like an overnight thing it was like it was so slowly and then it was like it just kind of hit you oh it was okay Okay. His rise out of obscurity was overnight because that was the March Madness. Yes, yes. But him becoming like –

Somebody I respect? Was it slowly – like I would have never bet when I first saw him just like he was doing the smoke show account and he was just like timid and he had the alarmingly stupid thing. And then i guess maybe when he started to do tommy's thoughts or a couple things i was like that's very funny that's very fucking funny and i think at barstool there's not many people who are objective about shit where it's like that's not funny because that's coming from like tommy smokes who's like not cool or some shit like that's like that's fucking funny funny funny and it's like if you're you're not the cool guy or the popular guy or the important girl or the big show you're the small thing if you do something funny that's fucking

funny and you have people have to be able to admit that and it's just then it's a domino effect it's like you see tommy's doing his thoughts by himself at he was doing penny for my thoughts or whatever was at the old office when he was an intern and then people were like all right that's catching on so then well and they canceled his thoughts though he's not allowed to think he's not allowed to use it it just all grows like then you get pulled onto a podcast, and everybody just wants you in their stuff, which is funny. After I did KFC Radio, I go on Largest Podcast. I go on this other show. I go on this other show.

Three days later, the phone's dead again. Bro, if you had an agent or something, or a manager, they'd be like, God damn it, Eric. You did it again, didn't you? Nobody self-sabotages. Nobody. I will say though just to end this topic i whenever i think back like i you know there's like i think i was like dave's like original like punching bag guy because i was i was very early no no in boston oh like everybody yeah like i mean gas him gas no but i guess i mean in terms of like i went all

the interns and then i just got so sick of it i like i was losing losing my mind trying to kill myself and then like it became like rico and then rico lost his mind and tried to murder someone brendan walker tried to quit 25 times dave's guy is like playing the joker that role man yeah gets you it does it just does something i something. I stopped doing in front of the camera anything for three years because I was like, this ain't worth it. Also, when Dave said I was a worthless piece of shit, I kind of believed him. I was like, I guess I'm just not going to do anything anymore.

Yeah, I mean, that's another thing that has to change a little bit. Dave's not in control of absolutely everything. More importantly, the internet. Like, you were at a point at one time where it was like the Barstool guys have to, like, you have to be like a made man. You have to get, like, passed by the Barstool guys. Now the internet decides, bro. Which is cool in a way. Like, there are people that I would have never in a million years thought, like, that person's going to make it and they're superstars, you know?

So, you know, there's no, nobody really can gatekeep that anymore. So, you know, prove them wrong. It's all very fascinating. Thank you to Game Time, the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. We went to, we had a show in Boston this week, went to the Sox game, Sox-Cardinals. Wild game. Blew it in the ninth. But had an unbelievable Saturday. Great seats.

Thank you to GameTime. Hooked us up with those. Last minute, texted them like that morning, I think we got them. Like, unbelievable seats. Lows 112 right on the first baseline. Couldn't be better for a Saturday afternoon. Sales start. No big deal it

is perfect is the ad that's created by fans for fans game time is a ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score last minute deals on sports concerts and shows and they guarantee the lowest prices the purchase process takes just two taps in 10 seconds and once you buy your tickets they're delivered right to your phone no printer needed the app also allows you to easily share tickets with friends via text you can get into the game seamlessly which is exactly what we did because we downloaded the game time app or go to the website enter your email and redeem code kfc for 20 off your first purchase terms apply get the game time app code kfc 20 bucks off your first purchase so so i guess that that's it. That's it for Nate. That's the end of the episode. I didn't get cucked.

So Nate texted us and said like, yo, when can I do my quarterly event? And nobody replied. And then he said... I saw it and I was like, I'm gonna wait it out. It was literally the day after. I knew what was coming.

You're gonna read the text in all caps? Um, yeah. if you had texted this out in two weeks i'd have had a normal response but i was like it's the day yeah oh i said quarterly time to come make fun of some people prayers emoji that was at 905 and then uh an hour later hour and 45 minutes later he goes okay fine we can talk about how I got cocked this weekend. And John said – and John, after not replying at all the first time, goes, there it is. There it is. Oh, man. So I had a weekend for the ages.

You had a wow weekend, dude. Bro, you had such a bad weekend. I'm jealous because what happened to you, I would legitimately, and maybe this is my warped brain in this industry, I would rather what happened to you happen to me than just have a good time. Bro, that's what I was telling you. I was like, I'd start the blog now because this is going to be a great – I said, I hope she doesn't show because this is funny.

And you were like, oh, I don't know. I don't think so. And I was like, no, dude. Bro, getting your dick wet is like whatever. Having a legendary story like this is all time. You can tell this story at every event for the rest of your life, and you're golden. To put the little back cover of the novel summary,

in 36 hours, I went from New York to Chicago, thought I was 100% ghosted, had a great five hours, and then got cocked. Yes. That's the elevator

pitch. Now let's get into the details so this this is a girl what you meet her on an app or so i'm shit i you're not gonna like this john i want to preface this by like i don't hate her i think she is gonna say john doesn't give a fuck right but like you could marry this i don't think she's like the devil i don't think she's i agree a bad yeah person i think she is the whole time i I don't think she's a bad person. I think she is... The whole time I was the one saying this. I was the one. You just got cucked.

You meet her where? I've known her for three, maybe four years through Instagram. Just the Barstool thing? I don't even know how it... I would have guessed so. Four years ago. Just DMs and shit yeah yeah text

like whatever like we we wouldn't talk for like a long time at a time can i see a picture after i gotta i gotta i want to know i want to know what we're dealing with here i won't show it right she's very pretty um i actually i didn't even think show the fucking picture i'll show you after and so now this is gonna become a thing yeah well Why would you bring it up? Just let me tell the story. Because I want to know if that matters. God. Because I want to know if I want to be like, well, maybe you're right. I do want to fuck that girl. Or like, no.

Who cares? Bro, you could show me fucking Pam Anderson. This is the thing. I would rather have the story. This was never about fucking her. Ever. That's what I'm trying to make clear. See, I'm not going to tell the story. It's not about, this was never about fucking her. Ever. And that's what I'm trying to make clear. Okay. See, I'm not going to tell the story then.

Like, it's not about that. Okay, tell the story. You won't let me. Let me tell it. Okay. But that's what I want to make clear. It was not about fucking her. You just flew to hang out with her.

I had no expectations. I told you that from the very beginning. I had zero expectations. I had no idea what was going to happen. It was just, I... So, I recently single... Did you want to hook up with her? What?

I would have. Yeah, sure. Of course. She's a pretty girl. You flew to Chicago. But it's because I... I don't want to just belabor this. I'm not letting him get away with this.

You fly to Chicago to see a girl to hook up with her. You want to hook up with her. If you don't, that's okay. You can still have a good time and be like, well, we didn't fuck. But that's why you went. No. Incorrect. i don't even think we can do the story then if you're not even you're not negotiating in good faith it's not a negotiation storytelling in good faith you're just not i can't believe you like there's i i think it's like i think it's incel behavior to be like i'm flying there to fuck if we don't fuck. No, that is just regular ass behavior.

I don't think it is. I think I don't go like, I'm flying there to fuck, but I'm like, probably going to hook up over there. Yeah. Or like, I like this girl and I want to like, see where it goes. Now that you're talking like, yeah, it was like, I want to see if this person I have talked to on and off for the last three to four years is like anything worth pursuing yeah that's i mean like you but it's not like you went with romantic interests we're yeah we're yeah we're getting down semantics of like what it's fucker or so hook up or what like you wouldn't have done it to a guy i've had a homie sure i saw carl the first day He's being a maniac So you We're just catching straight

He knows he's a maniac That's not like breaking news I love Carl We had a great time at Wrigley Just a crazy person Was that when he was screaming with his shirt off? It sure was I saw that video

You go to Chicago You fly out for a girl You end up going to Wrigley with Carl Shirtless Carl The only person I saw shirtless the whole weekend Alright so you end up going to wriggly with carl shirtless carl the only person i saw shirtless all right so you're flying out to so okay about a girl okay so we we have known each other for about three four years go long periods of time without talking because either of us are in a relationship whatever um i'm recently single she's recently single it's like while you come out of chicago it's like so just hang out with time to hang out see i think just to see what's what yeah um go out she already had plans

on friday i was like cool that's fine like i want to go see the cubs were at home day game perfect i've never been to wrigley perfect so fly to chicago meet up with carl uh go to wrigley beautiful day also two hour games i actually don't like it. Too short. Really? Too short. It was in the sun. It was like sunny, sunshine. It was like, game's over. It's weird.

So, go back to my hotel. Go to bed. The next morning, don't hear from her. And the last contact. And you're reaching out. The last contact was 6 p.m. the last night. The day before. And was it like, can't wait to see you tomorrow or was she like did she did she start to like push you off

no there was never any push off there was never any inclination that right like see you tomorrow yeah like yeah exactly can't wait um 10 o'clock a.m rolls by 11 a.m rolls by noon rolls by like i i guess i should have looked at the time stamps like for the story let's say 1 p.m it's like hey sorry just just uh had a wild night i was like so she made first contact no i texted like what the fuck yeah because this whole time i'm like i can't believe i flew to chicago and got ghosted like it's it's past noon were you texting like multiple times no like i think twice see i went At that point, you'd contacted me. And John, you were like, you're 100% being ghosted right now.

But I was like, but this is a good thing. This is fucking hilarious. You flew to Chicago. I was putting out the idea you might have gotten catfished. Well, I knew that was impossible. Yeah, I was like, are you sure you've talked to her? And you're like, yes. You FaceTimed her?

Yes. And you were a little more hesitant with your yes on that. But you were like, are you sure you've talked to her? And you're like, yes. I was like, have you FaceTimed her? Yes. And you were a little more hesitant with your yes on that. But you were like, yes. And I was like, all right. Now, I know we live in a world where this kind of shit is extra. Like we get to tell a story, write a blog, and it actually will help our careers. But even if I didn't have this, when shit gets wacky and weird when you're trying to hook up and all that stuff that is like the essence of life that i fucking that's what i live for

that's when when you're uh like when you're like a married guy and you're hanging out with the single guys and you're like tell me what happened you don't want to you don't want to hear like oh we went to a bar and she liked me and we went home and had sex we want to i want to hear that like you know everything that went wrong and how it got fucking messy and what, you know, all that shit. That's why when you were like, you're like, is this just kind of like depressing? I was like, no, this is funny. All stories are depressing.

All funny stories are depressing. You just have to fucking look at it that way. Tell it funny. Yeah. So, so, so she says I've had a wild night. Sorry. Yeah. I was like, all right.

Well, like really wild you're waking up at fucking 2 p.m this show is sponsored by better help may is mental health awareness month um so if you're ever looking for a sign to maybe check in on the old brain this is the one to do it it is so easy to get caught up in whatever what else needs from you you never take a moment to think about what you need from yourself but when we spend all of our time giving it can leave us feeling stretched thin and burned out therapy can think therapy can give you the tools to find more balance in your life so you can keep supporting others without leaving yourself behind i think we've all been there a little bit i've had my therapist tell me i believe she says you're balancing too many dishes is what she says to me.

And she's right. So if you're starting a therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime you want with no additional charge. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash KFC today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash KFC. So finally at like 2.30, go to her apartment, start drinking. Cusberg decided to go to Blink-182 in Chicago that night, which my favorite band, her favorite band um you bought the tickets uh shout out game time use code stool for 20 off your first purchase and no just i was like okay so she's the exact person that i thought she was like you know

just her night got away from her whatever just you know she said sorry like that was shitty i was like yeah that was really shitty and she's like yeah my bad all good all good now let me just interject for a moment because if i know the dog did you belabor the point a little bit or were you just like no there's no point it's just okay you you just accepted the apology and moved on i was gonna say you accepted the lie because like no one doesn't have their phone for five minutes right like it's it's not you wake up in the morning the first thing you do when you get you're like what did i do last night you have your phone you touch your phone oh it's dead i gotta get a charger there was no point to making it into an issue when i've never met this person and i respect that i respect accepting a lie you're like all right you lied to me whatever fine like i'm just saying sometimes the dog comes

out it's like i'm still like a normal human being you are not my friend that is the furthest thing from the truth keep going so start drinking and it's a funny part a guy just walks into the apartment i was like i texted john i was like i think she just invited over her boyfriend a single solitary dude one guy no no no other no heads up no like she told me like she didn't even say like my friends going over nothing it was just you're sitting on the couch drinking watching playing pre-gaming and a door opens and a dude walks in kramer style what's going on here and what did he what was he like uh uh he must have been like there's another dude here i i i think he knew.

She had definitely told him that I was going to be there. He also is a fan of the show. I was about to say, was he a Barstool guy? He's a KFC Radio fan, and he is watching this right now. And I will say, I thought you were great. No, I'm not. I think maybe I told Tommy. I was like, I would hang out with him. He was like, really – he was real cool.

He went to Chicago to see about a girl and got a best friend. I mean – For the homies, man. No. Nate's for the homies. Like just a good hang, just a good guy and had a great time hanging out with him. He definitely beat. If Nate is like –

I fucked this guy. I have no idea what that situation is whatsoever. Turns out it wasn't her boyfriend. But was it? I have no idea. I can't figure this part out. I don't know what. Were they like, how were they interacting?

You know what I think it is? Girls are manipulative. And I think she was trying to pin us against each other and something like that. I really don't know if he. She wanted to watch a fight. I don't know. If he... She wanted to watch a fight? I don't know. Like a cock fight. Like, are you not entertained?

I brought you Nate and this guy. She brings you two in. She snaps a cute pool kid. She's like, only one of you is leaving. Honestly, I don't... When I look back on it, I don't think it's that... It's like Squid Games.

It's not that unnormal to... She brings out the marbles. No. I don't think it's that unnormal to invite, like, a bro when there's,'s like a new guy In your apartment That you've never met before

I would say I would tell them I was like yeah I got a couple buddies coming over But yeah I don't think it's a crazy move To be like Nate's in my apartment

Um Or maybe he was just a big fan Of me I mean I You know It's one of those things though Like

If a guy Just invited a girl A single solitary girl Almost hanging out with a girl, that shit doesn't work. She'd bring her own pool cue. Yeah. That's just a – whatever you – fucking pure and tenate over here. We're not talking about having sex with people.

But just in the world of how courting men and women work, if you're doing anything like solo with the opposite sex and you just invite another singular one of those over that's fucking a weird move yeah and so that's like my first like all right this is weird but you know what i'm here we're drinking just gonna make the most like all i can do is we're just gonna make the most of this because i'm here this is the situation i'm in i don't know who this guy is i don't know their relationship i know uh me and her don't have like any relationship outside of texts and stuff like that so not overthinking it he has to go to a different party me and her go to a bar again fantastic hang like she's cool she's like the same person that i always thought it was just great talks great drinking getting drunk etc and it's just like a good time

go to the show by the way go see blink it was really really really good just two of you on the show yeah um just really really at the show are we like singing and dancing like arm around each other or is it just like you and her solo side by side uh mixture any there's but there's yeah there's some stuff going on where you're like okay okay sure yeah i i i so i've been thinking a lot about this is i purposely was not trying to make moves i i won i'm 35 and we're in public like i don't know like i'm not trying to be that person that's why a concert is a tough very i don't know if the concert would have been my choice for no that scenario it is maybe the worst if we're gonna call it a date it's the worst except we both love blank love blank knew every word to every song could not

have picked a better person to go to that show with right it was a fucking blast for the music it was great for so for you too it was not but no the hang was like that's when like so it goes from ghosted to like awesome like just like i was like all right this is why i came like but now you're really in love uh i don't know i think i'm just also having though it's like pretty girl she loves blink you just had a great time you're like no i was like okay cool this is why i came like let's see what happened like i i would be you know at that point i'm like oh yeah no i don't know maybe that's just i i'm old and low t i just i don't know i i don't get like that okay so the concert ends like i think like 26 year old me

would have been like you want to go to the bathroom like yeah bang this out but 35 or 34 the guy who 40 minutes ago was like incel behavior is like you want to go fucking out in public guys can't even make jokes anymore um okay so i hate you so much man scaped shout out man scaped they are hugely important the other day actually i was wondering um so i'll keep behind an older woman this is disgusting but whatever and i just wondered at what point people stop shaving i don't know what her situation was maybe she was maybe the old age is after her i was wondering what it is when you decide i'm gonna stop manscaping if you're listening to this show i imagine you have not hit that age yet or that situation in your life um so go over to manscaped and make it easier manscape is

dedicated to helping you increase your confidence and level up your full body grooming with the performance package 4.0 kit comes with a lawnmower 4.0 waterproof cordless body trimmer and a ton of other liquid formulations to round out your grooming routine whether you're trimming whatever you're trimming wherever you're trimming this is the best trimmer on the market features ceramic blade designed to cut hair on loose skin and reduce grooming accidents thanks to the advanced skin care skate advanced skin safe technology we've all had the snake bites around the nether parts and it's not a good spot to be you can also get the crop preserver and the crop reviver which is a ball toner and, not to mention the ultimate nose hair trimmer, the Weed Whacker 2.0.

Get 20% off and free shipping with code KFC at manscaped.com. That's 20% off and free shipping with code KFC at manscaped.com. It's the summer. It's time to clean up. So the concert ends. Concert ends. Get an Uber to go back to her apartment where her friends are there. And how's the Uber ride? Because I think that's another thing that's going to tell you. Uber is great. Normal.

But you're just sitting at each other's corners. I got so fucked by this Uber. It was a Suburban with that huge armrest between the two seats yeah that sucks when you have like captain chairs and it's just like okay especially when i train now when you're that because usually a uber is where you can kind of get a feel for like i was like your leg touches she doesn't she doesn't go all the way over she sits in the middle exactly i know what's up here exactly yeah i was like this uber ride sucked yeah you should have got an uber wrong for the xl i was gonna say get uber small yeah i know we're gonna pool please yeah yeah so that that was tough um and i thought a

lot about that i was like what if that could have been the turn what my whole life would be different if it wasn't a suburban yeah it's like the sliding doors so go back to her apartment. Now I'm going to say this little detail because it's a big detail later. Okay. And I think you guys already know what it is, but the, the listeners and viewers like subscribe thumbs up. Uh, they don't know why this is important.

We hadn't eaten all day, zero food intake all day. And so we're, we're, you know, very drunk leaving this concert. She orders food to her apartment, uh,

so we can eat it when we get back. She also already has a couple of friends there pre-gaming cause they, you know, to go out after, um, what time is it? So late. So this time I know I'm old.

I'm like going out after a concert. That was actually the second red flag. It's like, I'm too washed for this lifestyle. I'd have missed the encore. I've heard damn it before. In that situation, I would go, let's leave before the encore so we can beat the traffic.

I guess this is growing. Singing on the way out. Good job, Mark. Good to see you later. Order food in the Uber. get back to the apartment people are there pre-gaming vibes are still great um no reason to think anything bad will happen go out to this bar god it's so late at this point i mean it must we also waited like a half hour maybe longer for an uber so like it's like past midnight at this point the

the move after and it's different in arenas but like when i go to metlife it is gypsy cab couldn't find $500 $10,000 i would have paid infinite i couldn't find it like we were just stranded on street corners yes they go hey you you what yes yes i would have there you kidnap me drive me off in afghanistan whatever fine well maybe because chicago is afghanistan they don't have any of those so we it took forever to get an uber like forever and then i'm uber cucked so then we get back to the apartment we pre-game more go out to this bar and at this point i am tired like i'm coming down from everything i'm tired the concert took a lot out of me grumpy nate comes out no no

no i'm just like kind of just like you know just you know sweet caroline whatever it's just like i don't want to be at this bar right and it was a very young person bar uh which what is the age situation by the way it what do you mean? How old is she? 28. Okay. And I'm 34. So a bit of a gap, but I don't think too bad. You're an adult at 28. Go out to a bar.

I get a Red Bull vodka, try to wake up. Nothing was happening. Also, I look down at my phone. It's 2.30. It's time to go home. This bar closes at 4. I'm just like, you. I didn't know they do 4 o'clock at Chicago.

I thought you were going to get saved by the bell there. So her apartment is unlocked. I'm like, I got it. So you leave. I cannot function. I was like, I thought we were just going to leave because it's 2.30 in the morning. And she's like, no, I don't want to go. Oh, my God.

I didn't know this part of the story. Once that happens, this is it. So I was like, but she's like, no, I don't want to go. Oh, my God. I didn't know this part of the story. Once that happens, this is – So I was like – but she's like, no, because of what happened on Friday, I guess, and maybe because, like, she had good vibes about me. She's like, no, don't worry. Like, I'm sleeping. Like, I'll be there. Like, don't – like, she, like, made it clear. Like, I'm sleeping there.

Like, just, like, open the door this way. And like, I'll be back. I was just like, she just knew I was super tired. I was like, I'm just gonna, you know, get out of here. Um,

so I get back to the, would you do that? Uh, no, I think I'd stick it out. I, I, I'd want to go home.

So bad. And I almost commend you for just being like, I am going home, but I probably would have sat there until five. All, all these thoughts go into my brain. There's no way I can leave. I could not function as a human.

I just had to go. I don't know what would happen. I remember I was at a bachelor party a couple years ago, and we went to the track at Saratoga. We went to the very first horse race at 10 a.m. or whatever it was. All my buddies at one point like stopped and had lunch and i never did so i never stopped and never got off my feet and never stopped like drinking and and i it was like you know drunk about 2 30 i was talking about like 10 p.m and i physically i was like i can't stand up anymore i was like guys i gotta go my feet hurt too much

i was like my legs are aching i'm going to and i i fought it so hard and it got to the point where i was literally like i was rubbing my legs i can't i physically can't be out in the world right now so i if you really reach and that was like my best friend's bachelor party if you but when you reach your true breaking point i do commend that i just think i probably would have pushed to further past e than i've ever gone before i also operate in a world where i think people think rationally and it's like what what would be so bad about me i know but but you know that going out with going flying somewhere to see somebody going out with them and leaving separately is a weird thing i which it's almost irrational to think that that's not i thought the weird thing was her not being like

yeah let's go with you yeah like i thought that well that's where i think we probably had our first cue that's like q5 yeah sure right but the first big one of like i prefer to keep doing this and not right exactly exactly exactly and i was like all right like whatever like see you in an hour um so i go back and oh she has two dogs by the way um just just side note one's a puppy one's a grown dog uh the puppy is in the crate the grown dog can do whatever he wants around the apartment also important for later so now she's got three dogs uh i'm just like yeah i i'm just so you you go back to a straight not a stranger but yeah not your apartment.

By myself. And you're just like, let me get my PJs. Exactly. Let me just get, like, tucked in. Put on my little comfies. Do you, like, brush your teeth? Wash your face? Yeah.

I'm not gay. Do you, like, have any, like, snacks? Do you, like, you know, get some. That's a good question. So you were operating as if it was, like, your apartment. Like, all right, I'll just put on her robe. No, I changed, and I got into the bed, and I'm petting the dog. And then she comes in at 245. as if it was like your apartment like okay i'll just no no i just put on her robe no yeah i i changed and i got into the bed and i'm petting the dog and then she comes in at 245 i was like

oh okay see like she left 10 minutes after me i was like okay i was like okay thank god she has a brain like she left 10 minutes after me my wife came home thank god she she i don't know if she thinks i'm asleep or is trying to be sneaky. All I know is I see her in a change of clothes. She puts on sweats. She has a bag over her arm, and she walks right back out the door. I text. I text. You good?

Wait, wait, wait. No reply. I call right to voicemail. I go, what in the hell is happening and so we should have robbed her then like fine she comes over tv's off the wall fine you can leave but i'm taking all your belongings sorry to where you sleep of wherever whatever you were not asleep obviously but were you on the couch? Were you in her bed? I was in her bed. So she comes in at 2.45

and you pop up and you're like, oh, hey, I'm sitting up. Were you told to get in her bed? No, of course. You're wrong. Okay, I would have thought Nate being the weirdo just hopped into bed. When I left the bar, she was like, I feel bad saying this,

she told me which side she sleeps on. Okay, so that's the green light. So you're in the bed. The biggest green light. But lights are off and shit. Yes. Okay, so you are laying down with your eyes closed. Like the bathroom might be on.

Like there's some lights. Are you laying down with your eyes closed in bed? No, I'm sitting up on my phone. And she walks in. Not to the bedroom. To the hallway. Oh, okay. Closet hallway. So she never eyes closed in bed? No, I'm sitting up on my phone. And she walks in. Not to the bedroom. To the hallway. Oh, okay. Closet hallway.

So she never comes in the bedroom? No. She just came in, thought you were asleep. Tried to be sneaky. But you see her walk by in new clothes. Yes. Sneaking around your own apartment because the dogs. So she's tiptoeing out thinking he's asleep.

It was quick. Two minutes in and out. Yeah. She's like, I've got to it was quick like like like two minutes in and out yeah she's like i gotta catch this dick so i so i get up i get up and i'm just like after right to voicemail what the hell is this actually happening and i see her going out shirt just on the floor i was like okay well at least there's food that she ordered right open the fridge my burrito is just gone she took the food that's the grinch reaching back and grabbing the last christmas ornament dog he took she took the burrito with her the food she ordered for us to another guy that she asked you what she what you wanted yeah the steak burrito

now i'll tell you what bro that is cuck like like she she by no means has to have sex with you it's rather rude but she can go have sex with another man but she asked you what you wanted you ordered that food for you and you gave it to another man that's getting cooked the burrito cuck is worse than the sex cock i think the craziest thing and this story's not done yet i think it's just like the lack of just like human decency courtesy like decency it's like you okay let me say this i didn't be like please let me come out to chicago i'm begging you right why don't you it was why don't you come to Chicago? I was like, okay. That sounds fun.

I didn't then book my flight for a few days because I just wanted to make sure that it was a real thing that was happening. Again, because I had zero expectations of anything. I was just like, we're doing this? Okay, cool. When you invite someone, you just owe them

the tiniest amount of human respect. That's weird. I think in me in this situation, no matter who flew out and how the night went. I'm going home with them. I would be like, I guess I'll have sex. I would reluctantly have sex. As a guy, as a girl, I can understand. If you don't want to fuck the guy, you're not going to fuck the guy.

But you have to play host for a single night of your life. Also, I'm not arguing that that's what she should have done. I'm arguing there's something wrong with me. But even if I had something right about me, I'd be like, at least I'm going to let them sleep on the couch. And by the way, I said I would sleep on the couch and all of that. Like there was no pressure at all for me to the point where maybe she thought I didn't want to fuck her. And she's like, well, I have to go get fucked by someone. That is entirely possible too.

We fucked up all the signals and all that shit. It's actually possible that I was so gay that she was like, I need to. I do think in my limited exposure limited exposure to this if she wanted to she would have like like the the the fly out culture or or like visiting hookup thing it's a weird world because really what you should do is like go to the city and get a hotel yeah because like which are the immediate expectation which i did spend like two or three nights together is like this i i got I had a hotel on Friday and I said, should I get it again for Saturday?

She said no. All the ducks were lined up and then she just took a shotgun and it blew all the ducks out of the water. But wait, there's more! This ad is brought to you by Sony Pictures. This is one of the main talking points here.

Have you heard of Burtreischer's stand-up community known as the machine i think you have if you listen to this show we went to amsterdam with him we just had him in the studio the other day he will be on an upcoming episode it is a two-hour slug fest it's awesome um but i'm not even gonna read any of this it doesn't matter the machine is unbelievable i haven't even seen it yet i didn't see the trailer before anybody they showed us that in amsterdam it is awesome it looks so sick it literally it's it's awesome that we're getting paid to do these ad reads but i would i would wax poetic about this movie one way or another it genuinely looks sick which is such an awesome thing because when a friend

shows you a trailer and is like what do you think about this movie and you you get so nervous like oh my god oh my god it looks awesome i cannot wait to see this movie you've heard of it because it's been on tons of advertisements if you've been watching the nba on abc espn it's really really sick seeing burt up there it's awesome i can't wait i'm so happy for him i'm so proud of him which is a weird thing to say but i genuinely am um burt if you want to know what the the plot is i'll give you a little quick thing together burt and his father must retrace the steps of his younger self played by jimmy pedro in the midst of a war with his sociopathic crime family all while attempting to find common ground in their often fraught relationship.

We talked about this with Bert in the interview, but it would have been so easy to mess this movie up, which sounds like a mean thing to say. It's absolutely not. But it's a movie that you could have done wrong. You could have tried to do it the wrong way. This looks exactly like the right way. When I saw the trailer, I was like, oh shit, I didn't even think that they could have done it this way.

With flashbacks, with time in the present, it looks unbelievable. If you're a fan of the show, you're a fan of Burt, go show out, go see it, go show your support. Get your tickets now. The Machine is exclusively in theaters May 26th. It's rated R your support get your tickets now the machine is exclusively in theaters may 26th it's rated r go get your tickets get them right now get tickets get ready let's fucking let's fucking blow this out if you listen to the interview again upcoming burt has the most beautiful vision for what to do with this go out please go see it it's going to be awesome it's going to be great burt's gonna crush it it's gonna be good oh i can't please go see it it's going to be awesome it's going to be great birth's gonna

crush it it's gonna be good oh i can't wait go see the machine rated r may 26th wake up on sunday morning my flight's at 5 p.m because i was told that we're you know taking the dogs down to the beach we're gonna have brunch and we're gonna have a lovely little sunday what do you think happened i don't think she she came home at all so i i'm up i'm up because she has a dog in the crate parking and another dog yeah wait running around left her dog to like with me in her apartment by myself no keys so i can't take the dogs out right not that i even know how to take two dogs out at the same time anyway i don't have a dog. And so the dog in the crate is going crazy. You've watched Girls Dogs before?

No. Wow. I forgot about that. I forgot about that. Holy smoly. That's old school. Wow. I didn't even remember that.

So the dog in the crate is going crazy. The older dog is fine, but he clearly has to go to the bathroom. Yeah. And this is like 1030 a.m. And my flight's going crazy. The dog, the older dog's fine, but he clearly has to go to the bathroom. Yeah. And this is like 1030 a.m. And my flight's at five. And I'm like trying to go back. I can't fall back asleep.

Like just I was like, so I'm like, your dogs are going crazy. What should I do? No reply. No reply. No reply. 11 o'clock. If anything, now she's a bad dog owner. You know, it's like, what about she's treating this dog?

What about the real dog? 11 o'clock. I'm just like, I do not know what to do. So I'm like, I'm just going to go to the airport. And at 11. Like six hours early? I can't sit in this apartment with two dogs going nuts. Yeah, I am with you on that. To hit the bar instead of the restaurant and chill out.

Literally, what could I have done? I just can't sit in somebody else's apartment with two dogs who clearly have to go outside. It's like Pete Holmes in Crashing when he stays at that girl's apartment the whole fucking day. She comes home from work and, um, 1130. She texts me.

Oh my God. I'm so sorry. Uh, I'm on my way up. Meaning like she's at her building on her way up. I'm on my way to the airport, like whatever. And at one 30,

she goes, I'm back. So she lied to me at 11.30. I was like, wait, what do you mean you were on your way? Could it mean something like uptown? No, no, no, no. She's like, I'm coming to get the dogs. Like, I'm on my way up.

She said, stay. Did I send you the screenshots? She's like, stay. I'm on my way up. She didn't get back. It took a while to waddle her ass home. I was like, wait, why did you lie that you're on my way up um she didn't get back it took a while to waddle her ass home i was like she got split i was like wait why did you lie that you're on your way up she goes well i didn't think your flight was till later so i went back to sleep like where like what are you like this

is madness dude she wasn't leaving i mean that's so funny that that girl was just getting dicked down for like 12 hours stay stay stay like hungover just sitting on a couch with dogs yeah it's like it was bizarre no food in the house that's so funny some dude has my burrito just all over himself sour cream everywhere everywhere And, um, yeah, I'm at the airport six hours early. So what do you think? My flight gets delayed an hour. That was cool. So, and then was there any follow-up?

Like when she was like, where are you? Were you like, I fucking left because you like, because you are a horrible host. Yes. And a cocktease and a whatever, whatever you want to call her. Oh yeah. See, every time I know I'm going to keep saying this. I don't care about the sex part. It was more about you invited me to fly out here and you treated me like absolute shit.

Right. That's what it's more about. What do you think the turning point was? Oh, boy. Like, because clearly there must have been something that happened. Yeah. Yeah. Was there a moment where things were vibing and then you said something and then went like –

Okay. So when I said – Or maybe she said. It doesn't have to be you. I said, do you not see the – this is at 2.28 p.m. Sunday when I'm at the airport. I said, you don't see the problem here? She goes, I'm sorry. I wasn't using my brain.

And that was the last communication we had. Yeah, I mean that's a lame cop-out to just be like – I'd almost rather you be like just like i was acting bipolar yeah but here's the thing and so i i i try to use empathy and i like everybody goes like she has her own stuff like we all do i i don't she handled this about as poorly and disrespectfully and all that as a person you know what this is giving as the kids say um like this is a girl who is in a in a relationship got dumped in a situation ship whatever has a guy that she maybe just broke up with or really wants to be with so they break up one night you're dming

she's like you know what come to chicago you know and then things start to like he comes back in the picture and like late night that guy texts her and like come fuck me and she's like oh my god he wants me back i'm gonna get changed and go so and then she's just like i totally dick this guy over but it's because i am and digmatized by my ex or by my and you know my dream guy or whoever he is. I'd rather use someone just like, yo, my ex just called me and I want to get back together with him or whatever. I had an ex-girlfriend who did this to a guy and I was the other guy. And so the last text I sent her was like, whatever shit you're up to is your business, but you invited me here. I was excited to hang out and I just don't get why you couldn't put whatever it is aside for one day like that's i think all it is i agree but i'm saying that was

probably it was probably no plans for her to hang out that guy and then he got drunk and was like yo come on over and then she's just like okay but i think which is not excusing him i'm saying that's why it would be like yeah yeah come come come let's hang out let's do this oh wait a minute my my my empathy comes from i think we've all been young and have no idea how to just go through life, and it's hard. And when drinking is involved, you just do stupid shit, and you don't think about other people's feelings. And as you get older, you stop doing that. She's just not in a place to be, you know, just like, I also think that everybody, every, you eventually,

unless you're just a really, truly great person and always do think of others and all that shit. Everybody plays like the role, you know, sometimes you're the guy getting left at the apartment. Sometimes you're the guy who she's running over to. Sometimes you're the breaker upper. Sometimes you're the one getting dumped.

And like, I, you know, you, sometimes you're the villain. sometimes you're the one getting dumped and like i you know you sometimes you're the villain sometimes it's like i led you on and i didn't mean to and i and i like hurt you and and like and you're crushed right now but one day like you're gonna do that to some guy because you play that part too like at that point in your life you did a shitty thing and that's not excusing it but but it's just like I was – I mean when I was divorced, I did a couple things that I was like I shouldn't have done that, but I didn't know it was going to go that way. And I did, and now I know. And then I was the bad guy that time.

I'm the good guy this time. And that's why I don't – You're the hero. You're the loser. You just go through – you play all those roles once you've lived long enough. And then you just come out the other side, and at one point, something something snaps and you become a normal person but it's but it's not an excuse you can be like i was i was an asshole to you i i i expected by now her to issue some sort of apology yeah um let's get her on the show yeah it's just funny so i think she was maybe leave

a video voicemail where she can just tell her side of the story no i mean this will get back to her um i i don't know i don't know i i even i i even i even hesitated like telling this story because i don't want like to hurt a person more like i don't think you can do that to a person if you're not like hurting yourself so i just don't want to like hurt her more by telling this story oh fuck that i i think it's just a funny story that's so that's why let's not when it comes down to it the funny part is i got burrito cooked yeah like that's that's that's very i mean the burrito we we just kind of had all i had left to do like i opened the fridge i'm like well at least i have a fucking steak burrito it's the little details we had a similar type story um that we had on the show from uh rory

and mall show where this guy similar situation mixed signals from a fly out situation and it wasn't that she fucked another guy it was that she grabbed his backpack on the way out and then he saw the other dude wearing his backpack. And he was like, it was the fucking backpack that drove me crazy. It's the burrito that is the real kick in the dick of that story. I had the best time at that concert. So, okay, if this girl called right now and said, I totally fucked up, I am totally an asshole. But Blink is back in town. I was going to say, they're in New York next weekend.

You want to have a flight? Would you do it? I don't hold a grudge. No, no, no. You didn't let me finish. I don't hold a grudge. I think people make decisions that they're not proud of all the time. And I don't know.

You should be clear. Oh, if I would see her again? Yeah. Sure. I don't know you should the answer's clear oh if I would like see her again sure like I don't know like why not she burrito cucked you that would be the answer

I don't know if it's a yes it's fine but the answer to no is because she burrito cucked I would love the reason to be like because I didn't

really like apply moves I mean if she's a truly manipulative savvy girl as I've seen she would be like it's like you i wanted to fuck you all night and you kept saying like let's just sing blink 182 how is it still from my experience how do i say this like girls aren't lining up to fuck me so when they want they make it known like you pounce hey

hey hey pal like throw that in me like they make it known that's incel talk yeah so hey chicago lovely city can't wait for us all to move there i just know one day i'm gonna wake up to to like a Hank Lockwood Instagram story with her like grinding on her. Like I got Lockwood cucked. Yeah. Snapping into a mose. Yeah, if she's a Barstool girl. I don't know the extent of that.

I mean everybody is at this point knows what the – Right, right. barstool girl and i don't know the extent of that i mean everybody is at this point knows what the right right but now that like you know the entire barstool operation is moving to chicago as we know like it'll be a whole whole big thing for her i'm sure we'll see we'll see damn burrito cooked on a motherfucking saturday night god damn really fun concert oh you know i was thinking but you know what like can i say something like i was like let's say like tomorrow i meet i'm just this all hypothetical i meet a girl tomorrow and she's like oh like what did you do i was like well i saw blank 22 in chicago it's like who'd you go with i don't know like a friend like i how do you how do i tell this story if you if if you went out

there and you went to the concert and then you had sex like you don't get on the show and we don't tell the story we don't have this moment. That sucks. That's just lame. This is so much better. This life is so much better. Getting burrito cooked is so much better than having sex. Final thing. How big of a hypocrite I am that I chose to do this on somebody else's podcast instead of blogging it.

Well, you can do both. It's hard to write a blog. Actually, you want to know what? This guy physically can't blog anymore. He doesn't know how to upload pictures. That's a computer issue. I don't know how to access my screenshots when I screenshot a picture.

That's what I mean. You blog so infrequently that you don't know how to find pictures on your computer. Honestly, you know what? I think you told me what one a month you want. Nate's the only guest we've ever had on the show who openly texts. This is the first text I've sent. No, it's not.

There are three cameras. We will. I looked you right as you were fucking doing it. You said to me one a month, and I'm like, I can do that, and I cannot do that. It's actually way easier than like oh really i was gonna say the opposite i not the writing like like i i was like i i i think i was planning to write it friday but then we had to do an interview friday and then saturday i was like i'm just tired and then sunday i was like i'm gonna i'm gonna write this blog that i've

been meaning to write and i i thought it was going to take like three hours. It took like 45 minutes. But it was like – I don't know if it's because I just wrote so many of them through like that short period of time or whatever. Like I have some sort of big picture writer's block where it's like – It's not even like – Because I do one-minute man. I do this.

I have the jokes and shit. But if I sit down to write, I'm just like – This is what – Like you do sit down? I tried like once or twice. The second I like down to write, I'm just like, you do sit down. I tried once or twice. The second I started typing, I was like, oh, Muslim. Came back to you. One final thing.

If there's any pretty girl who wants to go to a Blink at MSG and you hate Mexican food, game time, $20 off. We'll set up Nate. Nate, the dog, puppy love. We'll call it puppy love. That's adorable, dude. Don't we all just want to fall in love and get married kevin oh that's incel behavior this is all just about going out and finding you know finding platonic again i can't stress enough the moment you texted me i was like oh this is so awesome do it for the story like it was so

much better than being like i had a great time with a girl it's the adult version of do it i'm sure i would like to hope one day i'll grow up and I'll be like, oh, yeah. I actually would like an emotional feeling from this. I'm 100% in that. I'm like, dude, this is so much better right now. This was the best. The Burrito Cuck story is going to live on in infamy. Yeah.

No. I'm glad it happened. Add it to the resume. You're going to ride high for three days before you ruin it. I can't wait to see how I ruin this. Let's go. Let's end this. Let's end this placing bets. What will Nate do to ruin the good favor he carries by this?

You have like two weeks. Oh, this isn't coming out for a while? No, because Brianna has to come out Monday because that's for Project Verified. She's more important than you. So you've got to wait a little bit. We'll put this out. We'll hype it up. You'll have a good five or six days even.

And then what will you do to ruin it? But this is like in the two weeks. Just lay low. Chill. Don't ruin it before we even put this out. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.