KFC Radio - Nick Turani's Science Fair Project Attending a Bat Mitzvah??? - Full Episode

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 04:33 Tony Hinchcliffe May Have Ruined the Election for Trump 18:20 Every person with a following has a podcast now 26:36 What pops up on google when you search John Feitelberg 35:30 Martha Stewart 39:20 Out of Order Live Shows 46:02 Kevin's groin rash 49:04 Bri Zach Bryan Drama 52:04 Kevin's groin rash continued 01:06:23 Nick subscribes to Meek Phils Premium Twitter 01:26:27 Video Voicemails 01:36:50 Nick's Science Fair Project 01:58:01 Ohio's Tate Vote Recap LINKS: 01:18:21 Red Sox photo: https://www.alamy.com/new-york-city-police-officers-line-the-field-behind-boston-red-soxs-johnny-damon-at-new-yorks-yankee-stadium-during-the-ninth-inning-of-game-6-of-the-alcs-tuesday-oct-19-2004-ap-photobill-kostroun-image542556146.html +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Presented by JACKPOCKET: New customers, use code KFC and you’ll get your first ticket free at https://jackpocket.onelink.me/sY17/KFC GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, NY Call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY. 18 or older (19+ in Nebraska, 21+ in Arizona). Void where prohibited. Promo code required for $2 non-withdrawable credit. Prize amount may differ at time of drawing. Terms jackpocket.com/tos/free-ticket-promo/ Gametime: Download the Gametime app today and use code KFC to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! Express: Use code SADBOYSZN for an extra 20% off your purchase online or in store Green Lumber: Keep it up, Buy now at https://greenlumber.com/barstool and receive free 2 day shipping on your first order Cann: Head to https://DrinkCann.com and use code RADIO30 for 30% off your order of Cann and get free shipping.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. And so I'm covered in mud, and I have to, like, go in and present. Covered in mud. Wait, what? I fell in a creek. Jackpocket. It's the number one lottery app on your iPhone.

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Slash free dash Ticket dash Promo slash Good to go Good to go Alright it's another edition Of KFC Radio On the Barstool Sports Network

We've got a full Full roster today Nick's in the building Thank you for having me Jackie was gonna try To slither out of this And not Jackie's trying to

Be on the show You're funny and good on camera Why are you so reluctant That's so nice. Thanks. I can't. I don't believe it. I'm not going to believe it.

Yeah, but that's pretty normal. Honestly, if you believed it, you'd suck as a person. That is also true. No, but like I could just. The people who believe it and know it suck. I could use a little. But once those affirmations set in. Jackie goes to sleep.

Wait, are you going to become a monster? Are you going to like convince yourself? Are you going to convince yourself? Oh yeah, I hope. You know how it's like Riff Raff does it. I hope I blow up and act like I don't know nobody. I hope I get to the point where you're like, you changed. Everybody has Riff Raff on their wall. You know what Riff Raff said?

It's not like a common quote. It reminds me of the old Riff Raff adage. Is that not a common quote? I have no idea what you're talking about. I mean, I know who riffraff is. You guys have heard of this. Come on. I know who riffraff is.

I didn't know he had famous quotes. He's got one famous quote. That's one famous quote. Wait, wait, wait. Is it a lyric or a quote? It's like the most famous vine of all. Yeah, I actually don't know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I guess we're the olds. I don't know. But I feel like riffraff is old people's shit. I'm surprised you guys don't riffraff. I hate being on this side. Just to blow up. And then act like I don't know nobody. Well, now that I've seen that, that's awesome.

That should be way more famous. Okay, now I want Jackie. I need you like a year from now to have a grill and do that exact video. Yeah, I hope you're just like you, James. What's your version? What do you say? Bitches gonna know? Oh, the bitches gonna be sick. That's gonna be your version.

My plan is to make these bitches sick. I'll work on it. Everything's cool. If I had a grill everything I'd say It really doesn't make a lot of difference But yeah we've got her on the show now But now her new thing is When other people are on

I'm going to be producer again No you're just on the show now I don't know Because then I think it's too many Voices Four? Have you seen the show now? A third of the...

We have ten people. Do you actually have ten? Speak an episode? Probably. In and out? Yeah. I don't... Okay. No, I appreciate you guys yanking me in. You're crushing right now, Jack.

Shut up! I think there is a non-zero chance that Tony Hinchcliffe has lost the election for Donald Trump. I think that might be a thing. I'm not even joking. People are very angry. Kevin and I were texting last night a little bit.

Let me just explain for people to know. Tony Hinchcliffe, the latest golden boy in the comedy world after the Tom Brady roast. He was really anointed the next one. Been in comedy forever. Kill Tony is regarded as one of the most comics comic thing. And he's built it for so long. And it finally blew up after the roast.

He's in the Rogan circle. He sells out arenas. Yeah. He sold out this arena that he was in. But that's all very new like kill tony was a very successful show but after the roast it became i can sell out arenas you know shane gillis doing the trump thing on stage with them you know like it became a real a real thing and then uh promptly turned around actually you know what i was gonna say

like you know he blew it but probably not. No. So what he did was he went to the Trump rally at Madison Square Garden on Sunday night and performed. And they had Hulk Hogan in costume up there. They had walking bets out there. Who what? The walking bets girl was just doing laps. Dude, honestly. That would be funny. She was doing concessions. She's just doing laps. That would be funny.

She was doing concessions. Just going around. Search on Twitter lawyer. Put lawyer. When Trump brought out his lawyer, this was like one of those

memes like, oh, you're going to jail first of all i'm shocked that just lawyer worked that was the first hit that's very common now and you were like google lawyer that's exactly the clip though right yeah nailed it she's in a bedazzled jacket dancing like this is donald trump's lawyer oh. She's a rocket, dude. I love this shit. She's like bouncing and shit. She's like riffraff. Yo, if this is your lawyer, you're either totally fucked or like you're golden. Yeah. And this is only your lawyer because the geriatric who was your lawyer got disbarred.

You're like, all right, Rudy. From Rudy to this chick, you work. I guess we'll go the opposite direction get this beautiful bombshell but so you know these these rallies kamala had um beyonce so they've become like half concert half political speeches half rally um and tony went up there and did uh a set and you know a comedy set. And the biggest things where he called, we'll put the clips in, but he called Puerto Rico a floating island of garbage. He said that these Hispanics, these Latinos,

they be having babies. They just have babies. He said they have babies that they don't pull out. They only come in just like they do to our country. And then he said that he carved a watermelon for Halloween with a black eye. And that one's just pretty on the nose. in just like they do to our country and then he said that he carved a watermelon for halloween with a black guy ah and that one's just pretty on the nose they were all pretty on the nose that was the thing um and within you know minutes of going viral bad bunny who was like the most

influential person in music period we don't really know it as white people but like globally he's the one ricky martin j-lo ariana grande every like hispanic uh person in in in entertainment came out and like condemned the maga movement and like more or less somebody some people like definitively endorsed kamala but some people just like post reposted her i mean adding it up literally had to be a billion followers. Ariana Grande has like 350. A billion eyes. A billion people that night saw all of their Hispanic idols being like, fuck this guy and fuck Donald Trump and we like

Kamala. And then even Hispanic conservatives that I saw, just a small sample or whatever, but I saw like on twitter hispanic conservatives being like we don't like this you know like we're down with trump but like what the fuck was that and like you're undermining everything and like fucking it all up and we're like five minutes away from the election and now this is the talk and there are so many latinos in the swing states it's crazy yeah like five percent of

pennsylvania is latino everybody in arizona obviously there's going to be a ton like it might be it's a big deal i would typically say it's so close to the election everybody kind of has their mind made up this could actually make an impact i'm not joking like i think tony hinchcliffe might be maybe he's like a mole for Kamala and did this on purpose. That's what I was saying when we were texting last night. The only people who I think should be mad about this are MAGA people. I don't think anyone is offended by the jokes. I would be shocked.

I'm sure they're your fringe people. I don't think anyone is like, if he was in a comedy club, no one is walking out going, he was a racist. Yeah, right, right. But this is obviously a political rally. It's the setting. Well, that is the thing. The setting. I mean, like.

Wait, was it run by anybody? I don't know. It had to have been. I'm sure he probably went a little rogue. He went a little rogue, I think. That's a big. George Lopez made racist jokes at Kamala's, though. But it was about his own people.

So I think that's a little... They better finish the wall fast, because if you leave construction equipment out by Mexicans, they'll get it. I think it was funnier than this. It was funnier. Just calling Puerto Rico an island of floating garbage is not... Again, yeah, that's just a little on the nose.

And I don't even think of it, like, I don't know. I don't think of Puerto Rico as, like, now the Dominican Republic. That's garbage. No, but, like, it was just... And, you know, Tony, his response on Twitter was, first of all, saying, I vacation in Puerto Rico. It was very funny. That's the I have a black friend.

It's the geographic version of I have black friends. But more than that, just being like, these are jokes. And it's like, yes. And like John just said, no one's really offended. But we've been in this era for like a decade plus now. We've done this dance so many times. And you know that like setting matters intent matters the forum matters so like if you were in a comedy club and you told

these jokes there'd probably be one or two you know uh puerto ricans that were like hey fuck you man and the rest would they would probably even laugh at it and nobody it wouldn't it wouldn't mean anything but when you do it at a political at a campaign rally a week away from the election in front of 20 000 people in new york like it's gonna be a thing it's not it's not just gonna be it was jokes it's gonna be a your first of all it's gonna bomb because it's really not the right setting and it's gonna be an issue and you can't just write it off as like these are just jokes because you know a comic more than anybody knows that you have like the setting matters whether you're in a club or a theater who your audience is when you're doing corporate gigs

when you're doing private gigs when you're college shows like everything all matter and they all do that that that depends that uh determines how your jokes like land it reminded me of uh in the office when michael and uh ho Holly do the show at the corporate retreat and it bombs and it's terrible and afterwards Michael's like he's like yeah you know sometimes he's like trying to keep things positive and he's like yeah you know sometimes like

some things work in different rooms and some don't and Holly's like but we wrote all this specifically for this room yeah and he was even doing the thing, like when he tells the Puerto Rican joke, he goes, or no, I think the Puerto Rican one bombs

and he kind of goes like, oh, okay. All right. Like I see what's going on here with this room. And then they kind of laugh at the Latinos have babies jokes, which was like, he's just like Latinos have a lot of babies. And then they kind of laughed and he's like oh i see now

you guys are like warming up and it was like i just i don't know it all felt like hacky in that regard and like the wrong setting do you think after the brady roast he felt like he was untouchable oh yeah yeah oh yeah i i think i think tony you know being friends with rogan and becoming the like the golden boy in comedy the last like six months i think he was like because even i remember him saying on somebody's pod or maybe he was even off the record because we had just been around him at the with la poroso's thing and then we were but he was also was he at the um we saw him at bergen at burton thomas poroso he was both poroso things 5k right in I think I remember him being like I'm pretty sure he was making eyes at me

oh yeah I think I might have accidentally been making eyes at him I actually think I was like asking for it like you just sent

women back a ticket yeah yeah I gotta just like be honest have you tried smiling more you can't say asking for it

no but like I wanna be like like you wanted to sit back there the the ultimately i'm very happy this happened because i think it seems like from my my little twitter i've done like it seems like everyone is all right, that probably wasn't a good idea. And I think we needed a reset. Like, everyone's, like, everything, all the lines are too blurred. I feel like it's probably, there's always been, like, celebrities have been involved in politics, but then they act a little different when they're doing it. Like, you know, you're on stage, you're in a suit, you're a little different. Like, particularly, and again, maybe it's happened forever and I'm just noticing it

more now, but like, when you're seeing're seeing like presidential candidates sit down on a podcast with a guy in a sweatshirt and stuff you're like dude how about that everyone stop trolling you go do politics you're a politician you go do comedy you're a comedian you go do this problem the politicians are like the comedians what do you mean but they're not real politicians yeah yeah trump is not you know what i mean like the line got so blurred to the point that the candidates aren't even real. Somebody said, Go do,

you go do government. You go do comedy. Wait, you're telling me you didn't watch Tim Wall's Twitch streaming last year? Yeah, right, right. They got the head holes on, talking AOC.

Did you see his controller wasn't even on for the photo op? That's funny, that's funny. But I saw someone say, like, you know, if you were in a coma 20 years and you woke up and you told me that the guy who hosted the apprentice is sitting down with the guy who

hosted fear factor and it's being regarded as like the most important piece of media it's our frost nixon like what are we doing dude like yeah the lines have gotten blurred and we've gotten a little bit out of control was the whole podcast circuit thing a thing in past elections? No. No, heavens no. I don't, I mean, remember when Dave interviewed Trump, it was like the biggest thing imaginable. Yeah, I mean, presidents have done, but like,

how many podcasts? Like, Barack did, like, I think Pod Save, right, when he was like sitting president, maybe? I don't think exactly they because they all worked for brock obama oh i think they didn't start it until after obama was done what do you think was the first can you google like first president to do a podcast i i it probably was obama doing pod save but it wasn't a sitting president i don't think

because i remember dave was making that distinction on his show. He's like, the first sitting president. When the industry as a whole, like of podcasting, which is all kind of like what Tony is, and it's all like live YouTube shit. It's all kind of podcast-y. Look at this fucking setup. Yeah. Yeah. There shouldn't be real conversations had in places like this. I mean, this one got particularly crazy when when when kamala's on call her daddy

and uh and uh i don't think that podcast circuit should be used in right like i mean and and and god bless him and i actually think it would have been very uh interesting and i wish he did it but you know kamal asking to do jack max tiktok is kind of insane. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, she asked you Jack Mac's TikTok. Yeah. It was PMT, BFFs, and Jack Mac. And I actually think he should have done it.

I guess, I think he got, kind of got like, not bullied into, but just, I think like the others said no. And I think he was like, all right, I'll say no too.

But he was like, I would, he, his plan was to do like a three or four minute, just like TikTok video. And he was like, I was going to like, you know,

go like be myself and like really grill her. I like i would watch that at least yeah definitely but and it's no shade to him because he really i mean he's got a million tiktok followers and he's not a... Oh, wait, no, this is... Yeah. It was real. That makes sense. That makes sense. Mark Maron probably...

But Mark Maron for sure had Obama. I know that. I just don't know when it was. But the point being that, like, Mark Maron is a pretty, you know, I can see him doing an interview like that. Yeah. When we get to the point where an interview like that. Yeah. When we get to the point where it's like JD Vance and Theo talking about cocaine, it's funny,

but it's like, it's really not, it really, because it really is just about like getting the votes. Like they don't give it, you know what I mean? And then like, and I also don't fault anyone involved in it.

Like podcasts are the new media and president's campaigns have always tried to take advantage of new media. Like Obama using facebook was like a big thing on how he got elected it's just it feels like we got too weird with it i don't know i don't know why it feels different than what you say reset i think it's gonna keep getting weirder man i don't i i think i think again i it's almost gonna be on hawk 2 before the election yeah yeah does that piss you guys off hawk 2 like all this that piss you guys off? Hawk 2? Like all this stuff.

You guys work hard on building it up. You've been doing it forever, and then you just see that happen? Do you clench your fist? Really? No. I really like Haley, I think her name is. Haley. I refer to her as her real name. Yeah.

Welsh or whatever. I think she is a delightful girl. I think she's been given this. she's doing it right yeah like she's she's very i have not heard her say anything since since she started where i'm like fuck this chick she's very genuine she's very sweet acknowledges i think that like this is kind of silly and ridiculous and like and like she's riding the wave that it bothers me that like it's like hey you know I wish like I didn't have to work as hard as I did and I wish it just went

right to the top like that but you know there's always going to be there's that in like every you know what I mean there's an actor who grinded it out and someone just becomes famous overnight it is crazy like every single person has a podcast it's almost like an Instagram account it's like if you are a public figure you have a podcast it's almost like like an instagram account it's

like if you are a public figure you have a podcast yeah see that the times report that was like oh yes 44 percent is of america i think it's influencers seven percent seven percent i think it was 24 million people and i think it's seven percent of the american workforce identify themselves as an influence and say that it's their full-time job. Yeah. Which is like, you know, what does that mean? I'm trying to think of a career that's like 5% of the country. Like, is that, are there more influencers than doctors, surgeons? I think so. Google is fast.

I would think so. What percentage of America, you want to do doctors first? Yeah. Let's do surgeons. What percentage of America? Well, because doctors are hard to become, though. Yes. You got to go through all your...

Whoa. Whoa. Oh. If you don't know this, Pavs, worst Googler on the planet. Really? Borderline impressive. Well, you kind of just have to type exactly what you're looking for. Yeah.

Nobody does it. It's crazy. Okay. He can't spell any words, and he'll also just search for the weirdest roundabout ways. I have to give him credit, though, because whenever I do'm like wait what were they it's a tough keyboard i gotta get a new keyboard i gotta sure blame the keyboard 290 now i got somebody i can't do the math percentage wow yeah 0.29 oh wait percent of people us yeah so five percent of the world of america's engineers so it's the same

amount of engineers as influencers but that actually now i'm thinking though the other way being becoming an engineer is so hard i almost think there would be more influencers because all you got to do is fucking but i guess to call it a full-time job is the difference but you're also you're factoring in like 16 year old i guess i don't know who the survey did but like yeah you know housewives who have like an instagram account that like they sell a little thing like i have a couple of buddies wives who have like blogs but if you call it your full-time job and you're being real that's you know and that's you're not lying or whatever like you actually this is my income this

is how i put like food on the table dude it's just it's so big there's so many people like when you think that you've when you're when you're promoting something and you are like, oh, my God, I can't possibly promote this more. Like my followers are probably like so sick of it. It's like you're touching the tip of the tip of the tip of the iceberg of the other people out there. And then you find these people. We had Ian – what's his name? Ian Sterling on. He is the comedian.

He's from Scotland. He does the Love Island voiceover shit. He was at the VMAs this year. And a K-pop artist got on stage to do the pre-show and performed.

And he was like, I'm going to throw this person a bone. Let me repost them and say how good they were and maybe get them some followers. He has a million. How many followers do you think this person had? K-pop artists? Were they like 10 million?

190. 190 million? Dude, that's unbelievable. Holy fuck. We don't know. We had no idea. They have half of the American population follows this person. The K-pop stuff is funny because they have mandatory military service.

So BTS is in the military, right? Imagine getting killed. That's a skit you guys should do. I don't know if you can get high with Asians. And you get killed by the most beautiful boy you've ever seen with flawless skin. This is what it must have been like to fight Hercules. I do – part of me – I don't get bothered by the shot to stardom. What does – I don't even bother me.

But I used to joke about it it but now it's become very very real like i started off i remember like when whitney cummings started her podcast like right away her first guest was dave droll first fucking guest god damn and i was like this is not fair you are like a showrunner and a producer and a millionaire you have all these contacts and now you're coming into my lane where like it should just be the guys fucking around. And I kind of started that way, joking. And now it's like, it's a pretty significant problem. Everybody who's ever played a pro sport has an athlete.

Super entertaining athletes. They have amazing stories. Musicians, entertainers. Like, I would listen to them over me, too. I ran out of stories to tell. I think my first month. I've been coasting since surviving Barstool season one. It's been slowly. It hasn't been a steep downhill. Like trucks are still throwing on that loud break,

but it's like, it's been down. I mean, and these guys are like, you know, Jeff T is my favorite one. Oh, he's a phenomenal story. I mean, and these guys are like, you know, Jeff Teague is my favorite one. Oh, he's a phenomenal storyteller. Like a good basketball player, made a nice career as a professional basketball player,

and is a far superior podcaster and storyteller. And he'll just, like something that's just a memory that gets unlocked in the back of his head that was like a nothing story to him is like mega viral because it's like so interesting. And people are like, holy shit, he said that or he did that. And it's like, I don't know, me like telling stories about like my mom and dad growing up are not going to hit the same way as who gives a fuck. So that is like I think a legitimate problem for us. It's the barrier of entry is so small. Every athlete ever was like, I don't know what I'm going to do when this is done.

And now it's like, why don't you order a $50 mic on Amazon Prime and start making a million dollars a year? They also learned, I think in the beginning, they were scared to be real. And their managers and agents and whatever told them they have to be proper. And then whoever opened the floodgates on that one i don't i'm trying to even think of like who the you know all the smoke i think was a pretty early one yeah all the guys where it's like you can just like fuck around and say what you want and like it'll be okay you might get some blowback here and there every now and then but for the most part people are gonna love it and now it's like oh yeah i'll

just go tell all my locker room stories all my my war stories, all my hookup stories. I'll listen to all those all the fucking night. Every single time. Yeah. Every single time. When people find out I have a podcast, they're like, oh, check it out. I just don't. Yeah.

Don't. I promise you, you won't like it. I promise you. Do you ever say, like, a different name? I try to. And right before Upfront. Wait, did you say what? A different, like instead of anus.

Oh, I didn't want the show to be called that. And we always call like Untold Story this, that. But like right before the Upfronts at the office, they decided to put all the show names on the outside of the doors, like printed on the wall. And so it just says anusus like pretty decent size right out on the wall so you the whole goal was like you wait in your studio and people come in and talk to you not a soul you're like you're like the the porn star at the convention that no one's going

up that's exactly what i felt like so everybody's like bopping around like hey like nope just beelining right by uh we had one guy come in because he saw we were we were doing crosswords in there because there was nothing else to do and he's like what are you guys doing a crossword and he goes in he's like oh this one's easy and just leaves god damn god damn like we got yeah yeah that i mean i've we've always talked about the name the uh you know what what problems our name presents people are we comparing these right now like uh you you got his beat i think yeah yeah i i actually i i rented a house uh for a bit this winter and i was talking to the person who owns it and she was like so what do you do and and i

i was like i do like a podcast you never really know what to say i was like i don't know i i do like a podcast and i i don't know i do like a sketch show and and she's like what's it called i'll check it out and i was like nah it's fine no i want to see it and i was like i was like no like really i'm not going to give it to you yeah and she's like well i'll find it i'll just google your name And then for the first time, like probably ever, because I just wanted to be like, what the fuck is she going to see? So I Googled my name. And it really wasn't bad.

But it was just like, I only want the front page. And it was mostly just like John Feidelberg Barstool. It was my dad a little bit. And then there was just one fucking headline from a Reddit from I don't know when. And it was just like, I pity Feidelberg. I was like what the fuck man pity's the worst pity from a redditor well she's definitely gonna click that and find out whatever the fuck it says in there that sucks this man's living in my home were they just like

pitting you in general i didn't read any more it was a shot it literally went to my heart like a shotgun yeah that's tough close out of the window i was like well fuck that was probably like a week ago it's all i thought about was it tate this is why i don't read things this is exactly why i don't read things those those ones are worse than like any uh any you know making fun of me is, is fine. Yeah. I think the words like pity and pathetic are like two of like the most sad. Yeah. Yeah. That hits hard.

Wouldn't want to be him. I also like, I, it's bothered me so much. Again, this is why I'm fucking that now. Like I was like, I'm not even gonna say anything.

Cause I don't want people to go see it. Now everyone's gonna go fucking see it. Now everyone like, I'm not even gonna say anything because I don't want people to go see it. Now everyone's gonna go fucking see it. Now everyone's like, I'm gonna walk out of this room. You guys are all gonna Google it. Everyone listening to this is gonna fucking Google it. And they're like, wow.

And now everyone's gonna know something about me that I don't know about me. Dude, what if everybody, like, starts treating you with, like, kid gloves now? Like, tomorrow, like, KFC's like, hey, John. You're a star, man. You're really great.

You're doing really good. You did a great job today. I don't know why it was out on the front page. Yeah, like why does that pull up? It's probably because so many people liked it and commented on it. Yeah. Front page? That's an agreeable post.

It's probably like one out of a thousand are positive about me. That one can't pop up on the Google search. I recently tried to – I looked pop up on the Google search. I recently tried to I looked into cleaning up my Google search and I tried to hire this guy and it was a staggering amount

of money to do it. And I kind of read through his I guess it's like a pitch, a PDF of how it's going to work. Call it a deck in the biz. I'm pretty sure all he does is like, you can just click on

links that say give feedback to Google. And I think that's all he does. I'm pretty sure. I wanted some hacker shit. He was going to get into Google and I have contacts at Facebook and Google who can like, you know, make these things disappear.

And I think it's just like, all you can do is, yeah, like click on, cause I, cause I went and did it myself. Yes. You click like, where, where is, there was one that I had that said like out of date, you know, it's just like shit that like, I'm still married. I'm like, no, I'm not. You know what I mean?

Things like that. But he was asking for like, you you know like 60 grand for like a couple months to do this and then i was like um i was like i'm probably not gonna do that but like you know still talking to him and i was like so here's the other problem um every single thing i post ever uh everybody on on instagram immediately comments about my affair. What can you do about that? He's like, I don't know. I was like, alright, well I'm not going to pay you a dime. Have you tried doing something worse?

I don't know. Maybe you should murder someone. Sit down for a drink. Make your pain, yeah. Now you're not thinking about your knee. I can do that myself. That would be a funny PR company. Like, murder someone, dude.

Yeah, do something significantly worse. If you don't like hearing about that. There are actually... It's probably like I could do things that are actually worse, but like less gossipy. Less social faux pas. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah that it's like yeah if i like killed somebody they wouldn't give a fuck about tax fraud yeah but there's like legit you know like the uh marvin harrison's of the world and oh yeah who have like brandy hit that guy with his car matthew broderick ran over the guy um bruce jenner killed the guy like this is this

is one that i don't i I think Owen pitched it as a sketch And I don't know where he got the idea from But it's a shoeless Joe Jackson Because he was involved with the Black Sox He was like a racist Gambler A pretty bad guy I thought he was the good one

Maybe I'm mistaken But this is how it was at least pitched to me A sketch where he goes into a PR company and he lists everything wrong with him. And they're just like, you try taking off your shoes? Yeah, be barefoot. Now I'm Shoeless Joe Jackson. Who's that Shoeless man? I like the cut of his jib.

That's really fucking funny. You know what you should do is you should pull like a martha stewart go to jail for like insider trading something cool that nobody's actually gonna like become friends with snoop dogg who's also murdered dude yeah i was saying that during the olympics where i was like it was the olympic like main coverage was like it was alex alex cooper snoop dog and there was one other person and i was like this is the cancel culture like everyone's like it's cancel culture like snoop was on trial for murder alex cooper was you know a sex podcaster and i forget who the third person oh it's terrico it's like a guy who refuses to admit he's black. My favorite story of all time.

It's my favorite sports story ever. You know that one, right? Who is it? Mike Tirico. He wouldn't admit he's black? Mike Tirico is not a black man. He says he's Italian. He's a black man.

He's a black man. It's one of my favorite sports adjacent story. He is, I think his quote was, my mother is as white as the refrigerator door. And he says he's an Italian from Queens. Wait, that is a black man. He is not a black man. And I think there is a, I think there's a little bit of something that's like,

he doesn't really know who his dad is, kind of. So they were like, I think it's a little bit of something that's like, he doesn't really know who his dad is. Kinda. Yeah. So they were like, I think it's a black guy, Mike. Um, so there's a little something like that,

but he's like, I have a pair of like really cheap sunglasses that are like really tinted. And I really can't see color. And I'm like, it's like kind of like, he literally doesn't see color. Everyone just looks really tan in it. And like,

some people just look like darker shades of tan, but sometimes it's just a really tan person, and sometimes it's a black person. I can't see color. I just can't tell. Go up and just be like, you look tan. Go back to that Levitar one. Your generation's a tan building. What's your secret?

I think it came out because he got nominated for an NAACP award award and he was like i'm flattered but i'm not black and the whole world was like wow that is a good i love when like a weird sports story comes out my favorite one is jamal charles was in the special olympics for what uh to compete no what's his special running jamal charles the very fast running back for the chiefs but i I mean, what's his special? Like, what is this?

I think he had like a learning disorder. Like, couldn't read. But imagine like you're a parent struggling with like a child with Down syndrome. Like, this is going to be the best day of their lives. Like, we're going to go. And then like that's his competition. Smokes you. He had a learning.

Yeah, that's your. Well, they need to split things up in this. Yeah. But like based on level? How do you... Just give an eye test. It's an eye test. Yeah, you're good.

He's a grade three. At age 10, he won a gold medal. Yeah, I bet he did. Because wait, but the Special Olympics is different than the Paralympics or no? Paralympics is the wheelchair. Special Olympics is... You can be mentally... Yeah. They're both funny.

I can make fun of all of them. That is hilarious. That's more your parents though, right? Being like, yo, go win a gold medal in Special Olympics. You're 10. You're like, okay, I don't know. I have dyslexia. Yeah, right. Right. Fuck. Where were we? We were talking about Torrico. yeah right right um uh fuck

where were we were we talking about Tariko cancel culture oh Martha Stewart there's a very funny clip of Martha Stewart

see if you can find this Pabst it was uh I heard it on another podcast so I didn't find it myself Martha Stewart there's a new Netflix thing coming out about her

I believe so I think this was a a uh trailer for her new Netflix. Do Martha Stewart husband cheating?

See what pulls up on that. There was a quote that was like, ladies, if you are, if your husband is cheating on you, dump him. He is a piece of shit and is not worth it and leave. And the interviewer goes, didn't you cheat on your husband? And he goes, yeah, but he didn't know.

Doesn't miss a beat. It was fucking so gangster. That's different. He doesn't know. I always remember my roommate in college one time broke up with his girlfriend broke up and he was like really heartbroken by it and and then i didn't really heartbroken he's like angry and he's like it's fucking bullshit man and i was like what do you mean like what happened and he's like she fucking dumped me because she said i've been

cheating on her and i was like well you have And he goes, but she didn't know that. Exactly that. I'm like, but she can't prove that. And I'm like, she clearly knows. This is inadmissible. Jerry doesn't know that one. It was so good. I mean, she didn't even pause for a second.

She was like, yeah, he didn't know that. Fucking incredible the way she spun it, man. Dude, that kind of reminded me of a clip i saw this weekend of uh fantasia the american idol american idol yeah and she's talking about meeting diana ross i believe some iconic singer and uh she was five and she was like the best singer in her chorus or whatever and it's her idol walks in she's this five-year-old girl she's like oh my fucking god that's diana ross and diana ross is greeting people and she gets introduced to this young fantasia is like you know this she's the next diana ross she's unbelievable singer and when everyone walks away diana ross goes hey little girl you might be able to sing

but i'm the bitch. That's awesome. To a five-year-old girl. Oh my God. That is a level. If you're going to be that bitch, you've got to be a girl bitch. Steps on five-year-olds. That's fucking incredible.

You might be able to sing, I'm the bitch. Game Time is the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. Whether you're talking about a concert, a football game, a comedy show, we were at the Out of Order live show last night. They're going to be on tour in the coming years. I'm sure you get your tickets there.

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at the Out of Order live show and my favorite moment of the show was they like opened it up to questions and one guy asked, when are you going to be making full-length feature films? John was like, we got a couple of steps to go before that.

I mean, not really. No, we do. Obviously, I don't know if it's obvious, but it's something we'd like to do one day. It's a flattering question. I think it's in the realm of possibility right now. But people that make movies, that's their only job. And they take years.

That's always the problem here. With anything you want to do that's really high quality, scripted, takes time, this is technically my fifth thing on the list of what I do to make the company money. So it's very – I always, it's, it's very, I always think about that with like people who write books and shit too. It's like, there are people who take like a couple years off to write a book. I guess you get an advance from these places and shit,

but it's like, how the fuck do people have the time and effort when you have a real job? You know, it's, it's hard to get everybody together for a, for a skit. Yeah. Yeah. That's the other thing i guess i guess you either got to be really rich where you can like take the time off and like all do it together or you're like broke as a joke and you all like live together in the

same apartment and you're like let's film this with the camcorder but when you're in that in between yeah like i gotta go to work. I think that's the entertainment industry as a whole. Where it's either Nepo babies, which I think is bullshit. No, I'm for Nepo babies. I'm also pro Nepo babies. I think the whole thing, anyone getting mad is so fucking dumb.

That's what a slap in the face to your parents. Imagine if your kids are just like, I don't want them. No, thanks. I don't want an internship at Barstool. I don't want to earn it. Do you know what I went through? Even just the drain. I don't want them. No. No thanks. I don't want an internship at Barstool. I don't want to earn it. Do you know what I went through? Even just the money. It's like people are like, I don't want to spoil my kids.

And I get that. But it's also like, well then what did I work for? That's the reason for being a parent. So you can set them up for that. And also like, obviously they're pretty good.

Their parents are great. They grew up in that environment. They have the money for the best singing classes and everything. They're good looking. It's actually like we should be shaming the babies who don't make it at all. Those people are fucking suckers. You look like your parents. You have the same voice as your parents.

You have the money, all that, and you are nothing? It's also, I think, such an overstated thing like if you just think about hollywood like everyone i think everyone's like loves to say like every indie artist is a nepo baby and there's like there's probably four of them there's a pretty good amount yeah but like there's a lot of fucking indie artists yeah it's probably under one percent of them are nepo babies and you can do that but then i think entertainment as a whole is either quote-unquote nepo babies or poor or poor people or people who grew up poor. Because in the middle, it's like, I gotta go to work.

Yeah. Right. I can't. I don't have the freedom to try and chase my dreams because my parents made money. Yep. I have to go to work. Or poor people who are like, I'm poor either way. So I might as well do this piece of art.

Yeah. It's the middle class that's like, how the fuck did you make it? Yeah. But I guess maybe that's where producers come in sometimes who are like, you know, if I had like a shit ton of money, I think I would – if I had like Portnoy money, I think I would like bankroll you guys and be like, so take the time off, and here's the money you need to cover your expenses. And then I get all the profits. You get all the money. I actually was thinking about that the other day, about producers. I guess if you do really front the money, you're like, I want to make sure I get profits.

But I would feel weird if I were to just bankroll something, and then I take the money for it. Oh, I disagree. You're the reason it exists. But maybe because I make content myself. It wouldn't exist without you. I know, but it wouldn't. I think like, okay, yes, but it wouldn't exist without you,

and I think you guys are the more important part of it. You know what I mean? That's what I do with the Saturdays with the Boys. I love making that joke, because I genuinely don't believe that I should have gotten paid for it. That's how brainwashed you are. Also, I can't speak to authors and stuff like that, but we've thought out how much time would be needed to do something like that. I think all our brains immediately go to Hollywood where it's like, it's a year. We probably take a our brains immediately go to like hollywood where it's like it's a year and not like we probably take a month you say that a month

yes and then and then pass it how many times have you had just trouble like getting like you said getting uh schedules to line up for a skit well it would be a month clean like like straight everybody together you're not doing your other thing yeah but that's like a tough thing to do like uh yeah like and then if it doesn't work out you like go back to your daily routine with We have to be together. You're not doing your other thing. Yeah. But that's like a tough thing to do. Yeah. And then if it doesn't work out, you go back to your daily routine with your tail between your legs and never do it again. Can you imagine? But that's strictly filming. That's not counting writing.

That's not counting editing. That's not like... That's just like to shoot it. But you guys could then get back to your job while like... But these guys would get really fucked where it's like, okay, now you go edit while you still edit this. Yeah. Where is this? Yeah. Yeah. Like, but these guys would get really fucked where it's like, okay, now you go edit while you still edit this. Yeah.

Where is this? Yeah. Yeah. Can you imagine though, the people who, I feel like it probably happens more with music than movies, but like, you know, if you, uh, especially if you're one of those people, like who puts like years in between your album, you know, and then like the first night, first day people like this sucks. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like a Katyie perry i think yeah yeah yeah that just like came and went like a fart of the wind but i and i guess usually some of those people are like like five years you're gonna love this like i'm ahead of my time but in this moment right now like it has to suck i always thought that with like exactly what you're saying but i always thought with taylor swift where it's like, let me post a blog, a podcast. I don't know. I mean, I worked on it, for sure, but I'm going to do another one in 45 minutes.

Right, I got another one that's going to erase it, basically. I worked on it for two years, and everyone hates it immediately. That's my favorite part about being on the Yak, because it's daily. I'm just like, that episode stunk. Talk to the next one tomorrow. It's such a different bar when you have

a daily radio show. I think it's very different where it's like, we really are just filling time and shooting the shit. What can I do in between days to prep? That's tough. I think audience members are just like, I'm listening at work or on my commute or whatever and the bar is not that high.

But when you are like, we've been waiting for this and I know you've been working on this, and it's like, we hate this. That's why you just never try it. That's the best advice. Don't try. Don't try and don't have hope. And you can't really fail. I had perhaps one of the worst weekends of my life this weekend.

Oh, hell yeah. And that's saying a lot. If you've been keeping weekends of my life this weekend. Oh, hell yeah. And I – and that's saying a lot. If you've been keeping up with my life. The other day we were discussing the whole Tate drama, and Nate said something like – we were just talking could talk to him and explain to him how everybody extended so much grace to you during your shit. And I just went, wait, what? Me? I was like, who extended what to who on the what? And he was like, yeah, you know how everybody kind of forgave you and moved on or whatever.

And I was like, I don't think you know what happened happened i think we live in different worlds dude that's crazy yeah that was nuts that was a real conversation he said he's i i i i think he i don't want to over i don't put words in his mouth but he did say uh you can explain to him how like people gave you grace during your that i was like you want to look at my instagram comments right now like seven years later not after the the scrub that you're about to do the great i mean that your your situation was one of the craziest i've ever seen like still is to this day like you're the first person to ever cheat on your wife i don't know bro you know what i actually want to forgive dave grohl in a day they're like he's a rock star

i should have put out my own Instagram post that was one of the craziest posts ever like I'm having a baby but not with her like please give us a privacy sounds good actually one of one of the worst little like bits of

fallout if you will like every every time there's something new where i'm like wow this is still really uh this still really sucks that i got um a taylor swift like fan account posted my video of when i was talking shit about chapel roan i think it was me and you on the show and i was saying i was like like, I quoted the, everyone was quoting the Taylor Swift, you wouldn't last a minute in the asylum I was raising. And I was saying how Chapel Roan fucking, you know, canceled all her shows after like one minute of controversy and Taylor Swift is powering through it.

And some Taylor Swift account posted me and was like, I'm a Chapel Roan fan, but like he spilled. And I was like, I'm a Chapel Rome fan, but he spilled. And I was like, I spilled. I spilled on the internet. And then there was a comment being like, do you know who this guy is and what he did? And then she fucking deleted it. No.

I was like, yo, I had my moment. I had a spill moment. Spill got cleaned up. I spilled, bro. I was like, fuck, man. This might be kind of like a minefield to step in, but I kind of respected that Brie, after the Menendez brothers thing, like the next episode, she was like, fuck, man. This might be kind of like a minefield to step in, but I kind of respected that Brie, after the Menendez brothers thing,

like the next episode, she was like, I think I stand by everything that I say. She stood on business, as they say. And I think that everybody stopped, like, whatever. Yeah, she, I think she handled that pretty, she's in a spot, dude, that everything she says, people go off. Under a microscope, yeah, that sucks.

I mean, maybe if she's not with spot, dude, that everything she says, people go off on. Under a microscope. Yeah, that sucks. I mean, maybe if she's not with Zach Bryan anymore, that'll change. I don't know if that sticks with you. Because I think it started, for sure, more when that happened. Dude, that guy stinks, by the way. I don't know. I've never listened to his music. It's not really my genre of choice.

Is he insanely talented he i was a big zach bryan fan yeah before they started dating then when they started dating i stopped listening to him because i was like i i kind of jokingly said on barcelona radio that day but it ended up holding true where i was like i can't be a fangirl for like my friend's boyfriend yeah and i just kind of i i didn't really like the conversation like stop but it just i don't really listen to him anymore uh But I really did like him. I would say he's incredibly talented, but I think the reason why he's so popular

is because he's the easiest listen. You just throw it on at any point in front of any type of people. You can do it with your family, with your friends, and show people, and it's just the easiest listen. I also think his music requires him to be cool. Like a good, like a down-to-earth kind of guy and if he's

very springsteen-y kind of like you know salt i would like it but i did hear i don't know if this is like public or not but um he was in a fucking dorm room this weekend yeah that is bro you have like a fucking addiction to either attention or pussy or something if you are on that level and you are in a dorm room. I'd imagine you have a hotel. You know what? It's either the lamest thing ever or the coolest thing ever. I guess so. I guess so.

But like somebody posted a picture being like, oh, my God, like Zach Ryan is in my roommate's bed right now and ratted him out. I say that jokingly. I would be... I had to go back to a dorm room and just sit there and talk to college kids. I'd put a bullet in my fucking head. And whatever, the hottest chick in the world, go to your hotel, tour bus, mansion,

anywhere other than... You could buy a pretty cheap house for the night. I'm going to buy this $ house for the night like what did he like you know like uh fucking you know like let me like unlock my dorm with my lanyard on my key here like check in with the fucking security guy and like i don't know i almost respect that more than going on raya the next day like It is so easy to not go on Raya. It's so easy to not, like, the next day. That was a move for either, you know, to be a dick on purpose or something.

You don't do that unless you're... Yeah, I guess trying to, but, like... The dating app the next day? The next day. Oh. Yeah. Like, I get if you're playing dirty, but, like... But, like, on paper, your single is, like, the loop like the loophole of that being okay is still not a good look.

Yeah, you know you're going to get seen. You know it's going to get back to her. We're waiting three days. It's pretty selfish. Four. I don't know. Literally a minute later is nuts. But anyway, back to the worst weekend of my life.

I also am like I don't even know how to tell this story because a lot of it is TMI. And I don't think anybody wants to hear it from a 40-year-old man on a podcast. But it's just got to be said. So I had some sort of skin issue going on this weekend. Which is the grossest thing you can have, right? Like you just, you'd rather. That's what Tari said oh not my skin that's great um yeah i had some sort of skin issue, man. What part of the body?

In an area you don't want it, bro. In an area you don't want it. And I was like, I'm like, there's no way it can be an STD just because of my life situation right now. Like, it's just not going to be that. But it looks a lot like that, and it's getting worse, and I don't know what to do. And I don't even know how to describe it without being gross and weird and shit, but it was bad. I feel like everybody has kind of had a moment where, like, I don't know. You have something that itches or looks weird, and you get paranoid for a second.

And then, I don't know, like it goes away. And this just did not go away and kept getting progressively worse is there a seat or a news no yeah yeah that was like there's not like it like i i don't have any like burning or oozing but you know there's the one for life that nobody wants to have and it's starting to look like that and i was like oh my god like how yeah right so and i go to like a city md thinking that like they're gonna you know test me for some shit and like give me a medicine or a cream or something and uh i get there and she goes, you need to go to the emergency room right now. And I was like, oh my God. I was like,

I'm just going to like chop my whole... It looked that bad? It was... So luckily, my dick is safe. Because I think when you start getting like on your dick, I was like,

then you really should maybe just chop it off and be done with life. But it was just like my whole kind of like groin area got fucking disgusting. Right. I don't know if you're talking about the Jets. I feel bad for you. I told him, I was like, I don't know how or if I should tell this.

I was like, I just think about like Jackie having to like be on the show or edit it. No, but like, don't let me, don't let me hold you back. I can't. I'm just thinking about like younger listeners and girls listening. Just be like, this is fucking gross. But, you know, she was like,

this is beyond CityMD Minute Clinic scope. I was like, then I was like, fuck. We don't have the tech for your tech. Now I'm hoping

it is that. Maybe just give me a good old STD and I'm fine. So I go to the emergency room and um and i mean it's just like i'm in so much discomfort and pain and now i'm starting to freak out in my head and i think a lot of it was almost like stress induced so now now more stress so it's just this fucking you know and it's just i'm thinking, you know, I don't know what it's going to be.

So they start looking. And, well, there's kind of two parts to this story. But so I get to the emergency room. And I'm, like, walking like a cowboy at this point. You know what I mean? Like, have you ever had, like, a, had a jock itch or something like that? It was feeling like that where it's like the chafing hurts, but it was way worse than that.

So I'm hobbling into the emergency room, and I check in. They thought you had something up your ass. As soon as they saw him. At this point, I wish. I would rather have been like, I i got a toy car trapped in my ass so they bring a million to one chance doc they they uh they're like there's an hour wait for a room like of course there is so they but they they bring me to this like back section to do like pulse and height and weight and all that and then they send me to this back section to do pulse and height and weight and all that.

And then they send me back to the waiting room. And as I'm going back to the waiting room, I see this family walk in. And they are all bleary-eyed and crying. So it's like this family is walking into the emergency room crying. And I'm like, oh, man. And in a quick moment, it put things in perspective. I was like, whatever is going on here, you know, I'm not like this poor family. And they, like, go up to the window and they start to check in.

And then the kid looks over at me and he's, like, literally crying. And he's like, holy shit, it's KFC. No. And I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And so there's, like, two young boys, two young girls, and an older woman. And he says that. And he's literally kind of got a smirk on his face, but, like, tears are on his face.

And his sister turns around. She goes, oh, my God. It's the Barstow guy. We were just talking about you. Hi. Nice to meet you. Our dad just died. Oh, my God. We were just talking about you. Hi, nice to meet you. Our dad just died.

Oh, my God. Like with a dark, like humorous, like chuckle, but like heartfelt and crying. And her brother goes, what the fuck was that? And she goes, dad loved Barstool. Like he would have liked that. That was a funny and i was like oh my god and so now i'm sitting there and i'm like my dick and balls are so itchy and burning and this family has a dead dad and are talking to me and i don't know what to do so oh my god i i think a sitcom so i yeah it really is so now there's probably about 20 or 30 feet between us they're at the window i'm like sitting down and now that's just been established i get like a weird like wave from the mom like hi and i you know so i just get up and I go over to the girl who said that and I just give her a hug.

And she goes, she explains, she was like, we were just talking about you guys and Barstool. Like, he was a diehard fan, like would wake up every morning. Did she say diehard? Yeah, did she say diehard? Seems like it was pretty easy to me. And she goes, what was the exact word I texted you? She goes, like, he would have loved, like, to meet you. And then someone else goes, like, I would take a picture and send it to him, but he's dead.

Oh, my God. And I was like, I love this family man like i love them and so they went back to uh to you know like be with him one final time and the other guy and girl were the the sister's boyfriend and the brother's girlfriend so they came out and let the family be and they came out uh to like talk to me more and they explained to me he was he was uh he was from ryebrook his name was steve cayman shout out to, like, talk to me more. And they explained to me he was from Rybrook. His name was Steve Kamen. Shout out to him and his family if anybody knows him. He, like, just started a new workout routine.

And, like, every day had been running. And he was on the treadmill. And, boom, heart went out. Oh, my God. This is why you don't exercise. But they were explaining. They were just like yeah like the family just has like he loved barstool so like they have a very

you know kind of dark sense of humor and they like use humor to get through things and and i was like fuck yeah that's awesome but i also was like i don't know what to say or do here i would have been obligated to say like what's wrong with me just like i'm just here for my dick no no but but the guy goes to be like i hope you're okay yeah and i was like i'll be fine and part of me wanted to be like to finish the story to fucking seal the deal put the nail in the coffin if you will be like yeah i'm here for a dick rash you know your girlfriend that i just hugged real tight she should go watch it i mean just and then they uh you know then they like come back out and like are leaving and they were like literally like nice to meet you i was

just like oh that was the weirdest craziest interaction ever but i kind of love it like at the same time yeah and i and i think the thought that like i will just be a part of their dad's dying story for the rest of their life yeah everybody at least kevin was texting me about it like i don't know if it was while it was happening or right after I was like I didn't know it was girlfriends and boyfriends involved I was like give that woman my number whoever's like my dad died he would have loved you

but I sent him the picture but he's dead whoever that is I want that to be my wife it was so good I'm like literally getting up to go give her a hug i'm like sorry got the meanest case of jock it you'll ever see but by the way so then i i finally get admitted i'm there for i was there from one to seven well at night because i was just waiting and shit and then they run every test under the sun everything's negative which again i'm like

wait a minute you know what i mean it's like yeah that's not what you rather know even if it's you know a lifelong thing that i can't get rid of at least i know like they send it to like the doctor of infectious diseases and i'm like at this point i'm like bringing doctor house we gotta go through like my diet and like did I put on some type of clothes or whatever it is like I don't know what the fuck this is

did you get a massage in a eastern European country recently did I meet a cannibal who's trying to soften me up this is actually a cream cannibal maybe it's I was just meet a cannibal who's trying to soften me up. This is actually a cream cannibal smoothie. Maybe it's, I was just talking about fungal shells. Maybe that's what it is. It's not fungus.

What is it? But so actually today I got, I just got an email being like your prescription is ready for some antibacterial thing. I have some weird bacteria infection. It's a moist area down there oh yeah i'm not really like that gross of a dude though like i i you know like there are some dudes i'm like you

probably got bacteria growing in you at all times yeah you know what i mean i usually keep it pretty did they swab the inside of you no no okay that's a no that's that's where like my dick was good i was like if you're if i got shit like on a tip and you're going in, I will literally kill myself. I had a tip issue once. Oh, you had a tip issue. Just because I didn't know what it was. It's always scary. And I was never an underwear guy.

And I formed a callus from it rubbing against the zipper. What? Yeah. Dude, yeah, of course. You did dick tip rubbing against metal? Yeah. I was never an underwear guy yeah, of course. You can dick tip rubbing against metal? Yeah. I was never an underwear guy high school and college.

No way. Yeah. Does cows go away? Are you still cows? No, the nerve endings are dead. I'm shot, dude. I can't feel anything. I last in bed like a motherfucker.

I haven't felt pleasure in a decade. What? It's one thing if you have some lounge pants, some sweatpants. I was always a jeans guy. Denim, jeans, no underwear. I think it was a laziness thing in college. That is the craziest thing

I've ever heard. It's not that bad. Apparently it is! But I built up the skin. I always said if I would jerk off dry, it probably would have sparked it was unbelievable did you not even have underwear at your disposal?

or you had it and you just chose not to wear it? it was college freshman year of college you keep saying that like it's an excuse nobody wants to wash clothes were you ever I wasn't home where your mother was like

do you have any underwear in your laundry ever? No, never. Never. It was just a thing. So if you would hook up with girls? That was out of the question. Freshman me and cult. What would you do if you went home with a guy and he's in jeans and you start to hook up?

There's just like one layer to take off. And he takes off pants and there's, yeah, there's no underwear. Oh, yeah. Well, I would be like, what? Did you forget? That would weird you out. I mean, I wasn't a regular. I'm sure you've done it.

But I, it's not bad. It was not crazy for me to not wear underwear. In pants. It's not bad. It's not bad. You know, sweatpants and shit like that. Like, sure. Rock out. It's one of the best feelings in the world. Jeans. pants it's not bad because you know sweatpants and and shit like that like sure rock out it's one of the best feelings in the world jeans i don't even like jeans when i have the underwear on

you have to have like your best pair of underwear if you're wearing jeans yeah yeah try to go none try to go well once you figure things out literally like this is like it's like a death trap for your fucking skin. Dude, I was skateboarding to class. Dude, you're fucking nuts. We're just bouncing around like a church bell. Skateboarding, though, I could see is better than walking because you have less friction. But you're more swinging. You're swinging.

When you're pushing, it's just... It is also embarrassing. I guess that's like an undercover size reveal for me that the head was rubbing against the zipper. I just accidentally size revealed. The tip of my dick

was rubbing against the knees of my jeans. Just like, yeah, apparently when your dick rubs against the top button of your jeans, it's bad. Size reveals also funny terms. I'm not going to say what made me think of this, but one of my favorite clips in Barstool history happened this weekend. I don't think I saw anything because I was busy worrying about my dick about my dick and the meek phil thing meek in the cave wait i want to know what what did you think of it i thought it was

the funniest thing i've ever seen in my life but what made you think of it go to go oh people who like might have bacterias i thought you saw meek phil's, no, no It was earlier Wait, what is Go to my Twitter, Pabs I quote to you the other night If you haven't seen this I'm so happy The Yankees game? Yeah

That's awesome It's unbelievably funny Wait, what game is it? Is it game two? Game two I think I was in the throes of You know Ticking balls, paints

Wait, pause it Pause it Go to the beginning And make sure the volume's on No, no It's the Teoscar Hernandez one No, no Plus 450 Let's go Let's go, Jets Go to the beginning and make sure the volume's on. No, no, no.

Plus 450, let's go! Let's go, Jets! Plus 450, let's go! You're a city of law, punk. Plus 450, let's go! With a giant teddy bear? Plus 450, Let's go. So good.

Yo, Meekville is a star. I'm subscribed to his ex-premium tweets. No way. Wait, what are they? Dude, it's just me and Quigs that are members. Like in the whole world? Yes. You didn't see that.

He has two subscribers. This is so fucking funny. I always forget because I get the payment every month. I'm like, how much is it? $1.99 a month. But it is just Quigs tweeting. Quigs are buying Meek Phil a beer a month. Quigs will just send him pictures of ice spice and then you know how you can make

yourself a dog on your phone like an emoji. It's just Meek feel like growling. I don't want to air out his premium content. Well, speaking of my other favorite clip from the weekend, this clip of Tommy. Tommy lets out a bark that comes from his balls.

It was a guttural caveman. Yeah. I think he started with a U. I actually shouldn't even say he barked. He said the word rough. Yeah. Dude, that... When he comes out of the cave,

I mean, I have felt this, but he wears it on his body. He comes out of the cave, his hair is fucked up, he's got bags under his eyes. Fucking Aaron Judge wait did you get in a fight did somebody fight you in the cave Matt Phil's responsible for 90% of my favorite Barstool clips yeah yes who put this dog shit here I watch once a week we uh we have a Mets

group chat and I was texting him and I said for game one I said be smart about your reaction for the Dodgers because at that point I was like the Dodgers are going to win this game somehow some way and I was like it's the World Series it's their stream and Hobbs has $50,000

don't be our usual asshole self and he was like I'm already on the case. Like, I've already, you know, I already thought about it. And the way he just ran away was so good. Yeah. Like, he ran like there was a fire. He listened to you.

Out of here. Yeah. That's why I think this one's unbelievable. And the teddy bear thing is so weird, by the way. Nobody knows what it is. So the Met sent you the teddy bear? No. weird, by the way. Nobody knows what it is. So the Mets sent you the teddy bear? No.

So I was under the impression somebody said, Clemmer came to me and said, somebody sent something for the Mets aliens. Like, we're going to open it up together. And I was like, oh, cool. And I thought it was the Mets. I thought he said the Mets sent it. And he goes, no, no, no.

This is just some random person. I was like, oh, okay. And we open it up, and it's this giant teddy bear that's like free sealed or you know vacuum sealed and it was a guy that uh frank did one of his frank walks with and i asked jenks i was like does he like make those for a living is he like a teddy bear manufacturer i can't even figure out what that would mean but maybe maybe there's some sort of inside joke. He works the, knocked down the milk cans with a ball.

And he's like, nope, none of that. So he just sent a fucking teddy bear. The note said like, you know. Wait, the entire box was just one teddy bear? Yeah. So you got, I saw the beginning of the clip where you guys are all huddled around the box and that's a teddy bear? It's a teddy bear. Because it was free sealed but why what okay so and frank frank opened it with a knife

which was the most terrifying he was like pulling it out himself i was like oh my god and then we i cut open the you know i unvacuumed it and it just went like one of those mattresses and it was a teddy bear and i was like cool, like, super anticlimactic. But now that Meek is running around town with it, like, it's his girlfriend. It's, like, amazing. The teddy bear had a shirt, and I, like, they took it off. I, like, held it up.

I was like, oh, this is a cute shirt. It was a little baby tee. Yeah, so I was like, that's for the teddy bear. I love the setup of this. Like, Clemmer taking a knee. Yeah, this is real. I was, like, I was doing seven. I was like, what's in the box?

What's in the box? Frank's singing his unboxing song. Took him quite a while a while we thought we're gonna lose a finger or two and you know i'm thinking like i thought it was gonna be from the mets like personalized jerseys with their names on it or something at that point i was like this what i literally don't know what it is i was like it's just a big brown like blah the the perfect thing about the meek reactions are like he's not at least appearing how it appears to me like he's not being a troll he just had no he had to oscar hernandez plus 450 to go deep and he stood up excited and then realized oh yeah i'm in the middle of a yankee shoot right back now sat back

now yeah there's a little baby teeth yeah yeah yeah I like now if I have like any kind of like the Mets lost we're gonna put that on you yeah if I have like any kind of like

win or like something goes well in my head I think like we're fucking on the Mets bed tonight well the only person who had a better

stream reaction than him was her yeah what were you doing here she was working everyone asked they're like why are you here and it I mean it's because you guys all know me as content but i am

a producer yeah she was like the person watching the stream i didn't realize i was like in the background of all these when that happened i will my first thought was like when he lost when it was like one out and he lost like the 44 000 i was like that's's some Kevin shit right there. I was very proud of you. Because as much as I hate the Yankees, like, first of all, you just don't want to be the total asshole who's rubbing it in your face. And when someone lost 50 grand, that sucks. I actually texted Hubs. I said, I almost felt bad about the Yankees losing for the first time in my life.

That means a lot. Yeah. I was like, yeah, that's a testament to our friendship that, like, you actually, you know, made me for one second not enjoy that. But Jackie going like this, and then she kind of looks around like, oh, shit. It was. But, yeah, after that subsided, I'm just taking, I'm relishing loving this. Do you want them to get swept?

Yes. You wouldn't want them to come back and then lose games? I mean, I guess, no. I would rather them be like, you couldn't even, you know, at least we took it to them a couple times and put a little bit of fear in them. You guys, you didn't play real baseball for like a month, and now you got, you know, fucking smoked by a real baseball team. Have you watched the comeback yet?

No, I wasn't. So this is a new thing yes okay i saw your your uh the the thing like you gotta you gotta remind me about viking in or something like that oh yeah yeah it's like that was like before game five or four before game four where like he's like you gotta go take care of that ankle he's like screw the ankle i gotta take viking dude it is yeah that's great i gotta watch it i didn't know it was new i thought people were like kind of just reminiscing because it's this time of year i didn't know that it was a 20 anniversary so netflix has a new documentary it's a three-parter first part

is the 03 season so that ends with the boone home run cool second part they're all about an hour second part is the oh oh three to oh four off season and the oh four regular. And then the third part is the series itself. Dude, and obviously everything taken with a grain of salt because I don't follow sports as much as I did then. I lived and breathed for that. That was the ultimate. But I'm watching it, and it is some real old man shit where I'm like, it was different back then.

Yeah, it'll make them look like they used to. Dude, the 03 offseason, the names that moved and the shit that went down. I was thinking, this offseason, people were like, who's going to get Jordan Montgomery? Whoever the fuck that is. Dude, that offseason, Schilling, Sheffield, Manny, A-Rod,

Nomar, all on the move at like, some end up coming back, some trades end up working out, but all these guys were moving. All of them were going to two teams. It was the fucking most insane arms race of all time.

They talk about 2 a.m. meetings with A-Rod in the hotel rooms while fucking Nomar is still on the team. That got, I mean,

that got shut down by the commissioner, right? MLBPA. PA. They didn't like what they was going to do to A-Rod's contract. But like,

everyone's involved. My only criticism of it, and it's a light one because you can only mention the guy so much if he clearly didn't want to be involved in it, is Manny's not really talked about. A little bit, but he's more of like, he was kind of like an uneasy teammate. Whereas he's a World Series MVP. He's fucking Manny Ramirez. That's a big miss mvp yeah he's fucking manny ramirez that that's a big miss but the rest of those guys but like fucking theo's in it hoyer joe tory like verisek in it tex in it oh yeah they're like like him and his wife are awesome there it's dude it's

so cool and also one of the craziest things that's revealed in it at least i mean either i forgot about it or never even heard of it is is after game two at Yankee Stadium, the Red Sox found microphones in the locker room. Oh. And it's like Schilling and Pedro were talking about it. I promise you that was not a thing out there because I would have hammered that. I would have never stopped talking about that. It's like, I think Schilling is the one who starts it.

Holy shit, that was awesome. Where like Schilling starts it where he's like, after game two, I'm looking around. He's like, I know what a microphone looks like. He's like, at this time, I've done interviews. I know what a microphone looks like. I look up, and it's just hanging from the ceiling. And I pull it out. And he pulls up his mic pack.

He's attached to the same thing. Red light running. Lapel mic just hanging there. In the Bronx, this is. In the Bronx, yeah. In the away locker room. In the away locker room. And then it cuts to Tor tory and then clearly he had been asked about it and he it's been 20 years you think he'd at least have like some kind of game plan it was like he froze

out he's like ah if there was a mic like we weren't getting any benefit from it like it was like oh you guys were fucking mic you guys were mic in locker rooms that's what changed the whole fucking series is that you didn't know what the pitcher was going to do that night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holy shit. But it's all... It makes it all the more sweet that it was like dirty fucking war and you guys won. Yeah.

It's awesome. It's so, so... And there's obviously a huge nostalgia factor. Dude, I forgot that fucking game six, they played the last two innings with the riot police on the field. What? Everybody started throwing shit? With the riot cops. Oh, what?

On the field? Yeah, after A-Rod whacks the ball out of the hand, and he's called out out of Arroyo's hand. He's called out. What a moment that was. The Bronx, they start fucking throwing bottles and stuff on the field, so they the fields and then they bring out like riot police who sit right there wow the the um scroll past the down lower right there to the left there's like they were they were lining the whole uh they didn't go into the into the warning track but they lined the entire the warning track would be nuts yeah That would be so awesome.

The whole foul area. Yeah, because people do not realize it was a war. You could get beat the fuck up. It's not like it is now. There's no rivalry like it left in sports, but I also think people... Pat, put in game

six up there. Maybe people are filming too much now and people are not as emboldened. But there would be bar fights and stadium fights every single fucking time. Look at that top picture of Damon. No, scroll up. I'm where you were earlier. Nope. Yeah.

Scroll up. Nope. Scroll up. Yeah. That's him on deck. Yeah. With police behind him. Yeah. Like, that's him on deck. Yeah. With police behind him. Those guys with, like, batons and guns and shit.

It's not exactly the easiest fucking setting to play. That's like 1950s English football stuff. Yeah. The riot police were just lining the fucking field while we played baseball. I told the story before, but it was one of my – I was at Fordham in 03, and whoever won the divisional series last, so now we knew the set – the matchup was set. It was like the Yankees had already advanced, and then Red Sox clinched, so now it's like we know the ALCS is going to be played between the two.

Yeah. Or however that worked out. And there was like a full-blown rally, like riot on campus. Like a bunch of people started chanting like, let's go Yankees because they clinched or whatever. And there's a big Boston contingency at Fordham at the time. And they kind of like were walking back to the dorms and they start chirping. And all of a sudden, like there's two very big groups of people like, you know, five feet from each other. They're doing their chance.

They're doing their chance. The people at the front lines are like talking shit. And I watched this dude. His name was Nate, I'm pretty sure. He had a broomstick because he got out. Maybe somebody had just swept because it was a broom out where they said, we're going to sweep you. And he broke the broomstick. So it was like I had like a jagged edge.

And I watched him run around to gain steam and ran and jumped into the Yankees crowd with a fucking spear. Basically a spear. And then it was just an all-out brawl. And the series had not yet started. It was like none of the dramatics had happened yet. It was just like we're going to play again.

That was truly like a, you know, don't, you know, you can go to another stadium wearing like, you can wear Yankee shit. Oh, yeah. You couldn't really not. Well, you could do it, but like be prepared. That year I went to a game at Yankee Stadium. I went to a Pedro star at Yankee Stadium with my whole family. And my dad was like, no one wear any Yankees gear, any Sox gear socks gear there's no point we were like up in the 300s he's like there's no

point we'll be a problem just like don't just wear t-shirts wear whatever when when boone hit the home run i was at the bar it's me my brother and a mets fan we're rooting for the red sox hate the yankees crack of the bat i know it i just grabbed our pitcher of beer and i fill everybody up just like let's drown our sorrows and my buddy who was a Red Sox fan or uh who was a Yankees fan like I just won through the first punch punched a Red Sox fan in the face and I was brawling soon and I was like you won dude I mean it was but it was all like it was I miss you know like it's so it's so dumb and, you know, it's so dumb. And I, you know, you can get people hit their fucking head on the ground. You could die. It's like terrible.

But also it's so awesome. Like it's all like it's, you know, a different area. You know, you say it's better. You say it's worse. And I'm sure it was different in generations before me. But like I forgot that the Sox in the 03 season like hated Manny. Because Manny got drinks with not Nestor Cortez, he's currently on the team. I forget, someone on the Yankees.

He got a beer at their hotel. During the series? During the season. It was during the 03, a regular season game. That might have been the postseason. It actually might have been the 03 postseason. And the players hated each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Baratek and A-Rod were like,

they fucking hated it. Pedro throwing Don Zimmer to the ground. Dude, I thought that was a regular season game. That was in the ALCS. That was a postseason? That was in the ALCS. That was so great, man. So good. What do girls have that's anything considered, like, even remotely close to getting violent over sports?

Is there anything that compares? Just like to like getting violent over sports is there anything that compares just like like getting violent over boys i'm gonna set woman back again but no no no just making fun of each other till you have an eating disorder because like you took the boy that i liked or something like that no not because i took the i I don't know. Drama? I would say, I think, like, reality... Theirs is probably more warranted. Like, it's always something that happened to them in their real life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I will say that ours is probably, like...

More reasonable. It is. Like, the crazy thing of it all is, like, it probably is a lot more reasonable. Yeah. When you guys get angry about stuff that is funny when we like girls are so fucking irrational and emotional it's like you just punch the television because like your parlay didn't hit because you're seven leg ten dollar parlay ten dollars to win like 300 punching another girl or punching a television i would

imagine you would punch a girl before you'd punch television but like like if i if i can't find an outfit like if i've tried on like a bunch of clothes and i'm like just nothing like this today i had a melt or like last this weekend i had a meltdown i was like i fucking hate halloween there's nothing fucking to wear everything looks dumb like that i would punch a like i wouldn't actually but i could see myself doing that more than like, well, those hands. Oh, do you have paws? No,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, about, I have just, like, an issue with, like, my, there's basically, like, how, I have, like, just calluses on my hands. What were you about to compare your hands to?

To the good tip day. Give me the hand jobs. The calluses. So then I was going for a hand mask, right? Like I was talking about, I was going to buy some hand masks. $5 a piece. This shit's going to financially take me out this winter.

I can't. Anyways, that's just the update on them. We're going to get through this. You got your hands. I got weird shit going on. We've all got our stuff. Let's do some voicemails and we'll let Nick get out of here. I have nothing else.

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Buy now at greenlumber.com slash barstool to get free two-day shipping on your first order. Unless you have anything else you want to... No. Yeah. I do not want to be here during the the vote what's up gang so a few months ago i promoted and got a senior level management position with my company what comes with that is getting put on probation for six months just to determine your good fit handle that level of management all that fun stuff so standard i'm

like no problem i don't think that's no he did something yeah the person who promoted me left new boss comes in i had worked with her in the past around my age decent rapport all that fun stuff so i had her she had a boyfriend really bad accident left arm amputated left leg amputated all sorts of shit that went along with that so she was telling me about how recovery when he got the colostomy bag uh taken away then just all sorts of gastric stuff like dry heaving things like that and so me not thinking asks her well do you have a gag reflex like what's your gag reflex like with the intention of like like are you a sympathetic gagger like because sometimes if you hear someone puking then you're like it's gonna make you puke um didn't think of that and she just kind of looks me like uh what was that

no no i meant like do you start to puke too then and just it worked out well i'm still employed did not get fired so that's good but awful and so it made me think what is a time you guys have put your foot in your mouth in a situation perfectly innocent question, no bad intentions, but you just really stepped in it. Thanks. Look forward to hearing your answer. This whole thing is a trip, man. He was like, I can't get fired. I just bought these new sunglasses.

I don't think preemptive probation is a thing. I've never heard of that. Yeah, that man's a risk. And he's talking to like a half woman. He didn't even have to say it. He could have just been like, I asked if a girl had a gastro. He had to bring up that she was losing all of her limbs.

I guess when you... Also, if you lose an arm and a leg, that doesn't necessarily mean you need a colostomy bag, do you? Maybe just while she was recovering, it makes sense. Wait, it was her husband who had it all, right? Or her boyfriend? Or was it happening to her? Oh, so she was hearing the husband puke.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I think. Maybe I misheard it. Here's the thing. We've talked about, there's a lot of words that porn has ruined. Like, gag reflexes no longer... I mean, that's a lot of words that porn has ruined. Like gag reflexes no longer. I mean, that's a porn thing. That's a dick sucking phrase now.

I say it a lot for a guy who doesn't suck dick. I'm like, I got a terrible gag reflex. But every time you say it, we're thinking about, like, you suck a dick. Like every time I hear you, you gag a lot. A lot. I'm just like, he could never handle a big dick. That's like my first thought when i hear you you gag a lot a lot i'm just like he could never handle a big day that's like my first thought when i hear you guys are like yeah i eat a lot of popsicles i told you i've i've thrown up on a day and then and then we finish the story because it's ridiculous right

didn't he like comment on your diet? Oh, he was like, do you not chew? Because it was like such big chunks. I forgot about that. The audacity. It's like this girl is doing things that no girl should really ever do. But because porn has ruined the world she's gonna go out there and give you you know a hundred percent and then you have the audacity to be like i think you need to

chew 30 times are you fucking kidding me i remember my grandfather was in the navy and he used to always tell us that like in the navy so they used to make a watch of me like when you first got in and i forget the exact number but like you could only take meat when you first got in. I forget the exact number, but you could only take bites that you could swallow in 10 chews or something like that. He wasn't militaristic about it with us, but he'd be like,

you're chewing too much. You've got to take smaller bites. You're going to throw up on a dick one day, son. You don't want them to be able to identify the chicken nuggets were you drunk no oh no and i was like after like i cleaned up i was like do you want me to i was like sorry anyways i was just and then he was i was like we don't have to keep doing like you don't have to keep talking to me. Was that it? It was over? No, no, no.

No, I'm sure. Let's clean up and go back tomorrow. Yeah, he was good sport about it. Good sport about it. It's like, yeah, you've impaled yourself with his dick. Yeah, but it kind of ruined blowjobs for him because every time I would gag, he'd be like... Yo, you gave this man PTSD.

The rest of the blowjob is the rest of his life. He's like, this one time. I'd be like, just sit back and enjoy it. Oh my god. Anyways, wait. What were we talking about before? I don't remember anything. My entire life.

That came five minutes ago. anything my entire life this question no one time like for a teacher like I in high school like wanted I had like a B plus and I like really wanted to get to an A and I was it the same guy no but i had sent an email being like and i didn't i just it didn't even occur to me yeah that it would be and i was like i will literally do anything like it was and so like he didn't respond back and i had told my mom i was like what like was it bad that i sent this and she was like yeah are you trying to fuck this man? Did she say that to you? No, she didn't. But she was like, okay, for the record, I think that he probably thinks that you are offering something to him.

And I was like, oh, anyway, I felt really weird. He definitely did. Of course he did that, yeah. He definitely did, too, because it was pretty awkward. Are you offended that he did not reply? Cause I would be. What? You're not a pedophile dude?

Yeah. Right. Wait, you're not a pedophile little pussy? Listen. You want to fuck a young girl? Yeah. But you know,

at that point, like, you know, the world hadn't come out, you know, the me too shit probably hadn't started. It's like, Hey man,

wait a minute. I'm a college girl over and fuck you. Yeah, it was What year in high school? Senior senior yeah, I was high school not college. Oh, that is okay So it really made it seem like I was anyways I learned my lesson then Also, don't be happy with the B+. Yeah, what a bitch. Yeah, that's really fucking annoying. Because I was playing a good student. I wasn't that good.

I mean, I fucked all my teachers again. All my teachers would reply to my request for extra credit. I'll do literally anything. The way that reads to him is probably... I'll literally do anything. He's probably like, I will literally literally anything. The way that reads to him is probably... Yeah. I'll literally do anything. He's probably like, I will literally do anything. Yeah, that's how he's reading it.

Yeah. Are you a good student? No. No? No. Interesting. Like, what kind of grades did you get? Like, Cs and Bs.

Was not a good student. Didn't do homework or study. Yo, by the way, real quick. Homework? Fuck that. Wait, by the way, real quick. Homework? Fuck that. Wait, what's it like now? I'm just talking about the institution of homework. Oh, okay.

Ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's like a pretty lukewarm take. You're about KFC's anti-homework. I'm not talking about being... You're saying from the point of view You don't like doing homework, right? I'm saying as a parent

Now I'm like Abolish homework altogether That's your fucking job To teach them this shit at school I have a job You have a job Your job is to teach my kid this shit I come home from my job

I want to just hang out with my fucking kid I just want to live my life I'm not going to do your fucking job for you that apparently you couldn't fit during the fucking work day i would have decided to just offer more fuck yeah fuck that oh i would have like four hours i wasn't a good good but like that's genuinely like no i i in in school i was like you just do this but now that i'm looking at it i'm like why the fuck should i have to do this and and also part of it is because i can't do the math they do and like some of the answers i'm like there's no chance i could do long division i think by third grade i cannot help anymore yeah it would be your mind would be blown by the way

they teach like addition and subtraction it's just like you know line the fucking numbers up add up this column add up that column nope you got to break out the tens and the fives and you got to count with this line and circle these draw like hash marks and i was like this is madness so fucking if you want to do it that way fine teach them on your fucking clock at your job not on my time fuck that the the i feel like every year there's i feel like there's like something goes viral of like a teacher sending a letter home for young students for like young elementary where it's like i don't assign homework spend time with your kids like that and and everyone's like this is how teaching should work so i don't know how much that's

progressed into society but like on the internet once once a year, everyone should be like this. God bless those people. Because I remember seeing a note one or two times where the teacher even explains themselves and whatever you do spending time with your kids is healthier than them learning their cursive letters or something like that. Yeah, yeah. Do that. Memorizing flashcards and shit like that.

It's like, get the fuck out of here. I get homework maybe once you're in high school or something like that, but was like, get the fuck out of here. I get homework maybe once you're in high school or something like that. Even that, I kind of don't. Most people, when you go to work, do academics here, and then you do sports there. You do home at home. I don't get it.

It is. I'm a little stance. I can maybe understand you have to read. There's a list of books. Summer reading. Science fair was fun. You have to read. Like there's a list. Summer reading. Summer reading. Science fair was fun. You have to finish these books by this date or whatever.

But like, yeah, do like these 50 math problems. Like there were just random days. I remember in high school sometimes it would be like, all right, you have to do like page 253 like tonight. And sometimes it would be like, I don't know, like 12 math problems. And sometimes it would be like 60. And it's like, what the fuck is this? this it's all madness it's all just made up are they still doing science fairs with the boards and everything um i don't my kids are still in second and first

grade so i don't know if that's like there yet i don't know if wait what do you mean what is what is that what's the science fair with the boards like you have the big cardboard things with the the project you stand in front of and deliver us those are fun that. That was a blast. I went undefeated on them. First place, four years in a row. Yeah, but I was in West Virginia at a Catholic school with like 12 kids. What were your projects? This was for science. I went to Cleveland to a bat mitzvah.

And I went back and reported my findings at this little Catholic. It's a picture of young me. And I made a little tiny Torah and had it sitting on there because nobody knew what that shit was. You're an explorer. You're like a crusader. I've returned from the new world.

I'm scathed. I bring Lord of the Jews. It won clean sweep. Not only was this brave. I think my board just said jadaism. Because, like, the priests were the judges for the science fair. And, like, my principal was a nun. And they were just like, this is, like, you really did the thing.

I'm surprised they weren't like, you know, like, keep that out of here. Don't spread that word. The word in Jesus is our savior. Murderers. Yeah. I don't know if I ever did one of those though. I've definitely done science projects, but I don't think I had the whole like,

Oh dude. Oh wait, you know, I did. You know what? The only fight I ever got in was right before. I think kind of what you're talking about. I,

I like eighth grade. We had like a jetsets and the Sharks, like fucking your group versus my group. Well, Kevin, that's a musical. But we, well, yeah, because it was like, we thought we were so tough. And that was like the only time I've ever like thrown and landed a punch.

And the only time I really got my ass kicked. Because I got in a fight with a kid whose nickname was Animal. Oh, no. And I didn't even have problems with any of them but it was like the two guys who like were at the center of it fought and then everyone just kind of grabbed whoever was over a science project no no it was the same it was like after school it happened and then that night was like the science fair oh we all showed up saying like we didn't have a science fair but we fought fair oh we all showed up saying like we fought like a dork like i had like a swollen nose one kid had a black eye and then we all walk in and our science teachers like what

the fuck happened here i mean i did it in fifth grade i i had i got e coli and i spent like a month in the hospital jesus and while i was there it was like by the time you like you know by november or whatever december you had to have this science project ready and i was in the hospital like the whole month and my dad like he would come in and he'd help me but like he was doing a lot of it like i was yeah of course a sick kid and and i went to school and i presented it and then like three girls in my class got their parents involved and then they went to the principal and they were like not listening like his dad's doing the work petitioning it oh my god for my grade to not count because my dad did it and i was like i was like i mean you're right he did a lot of it like i was i read the books and i

told him where to put things. But yeah, it looked really good. It looked like an adult man put together a child's presentation. It's a takeaway, but it's good. I was like, I've been in the hospital. I don't know what to tell you. It ended up becoming a big thing at the school. Feidelberg is plagiarizing and having his parents do the work for him.

But it's also like no fucking kidding. I've been in the hospital for a month. Any project that looks even remotely good, it's like the parents did it. You're asking seven and eight-year-olds to do the job. All the projects, the parents. Yeah, every single one. I remember I had one. It was like an Oregon Trail sort of thing.

My mom made a covered wagon and made a journal. She burnt the edges of the paper. She literally had like fire and burning edges. Like I was like nine. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I did this. You know,

my dad, like my dad, my dad's a good artist. And he like drew like a hang, like he drew an orangutan that looked really good. And they were like, you didn't even draw that. No,

no, I didn't do it. Like you presented it. Like it was half yours, dude. I remember when i won mine it was my most embarrassing moment because my parents were like this was a good project you you can go to the state science fair it's like at the college by us and it's the whole state and we found out the judaism one and my project was the only one in that category so they're like it's a guaranteed win you're going to go to nationals, get a scholarship.

And, uh, I go there and right before I present, I'm like in middle school, I'm like down by the Creek and I fell in. And so I'm covered in mud and I have to like go in and present covered in mud. I fell in a Creek. I mean,

you could have given me a million guesses. I was never going to land. I go out there, I present. And, uh, then it's like that evening. that evening is when they're awarding everything. And they're like, all right, the next category is religion. And they're presenting.

And they said in second place, Nick Teraney. I didn't meet the point threshold for first place. So I had to go on stage with a podium. Only guy on it. Nobody else. And accept my silver medal. Unopposed. Covered in mud. Unopposed covered in mud unopposed second place out of one

and my parents like clapped they have a picture of me on a podium like because i didn't i wasn't a child with many achievements so that was like one of them of just me on the second the high second highest on a podium alone that's's a villain origin story right there. It's a miracle you're not a serial killer. What do you mean you didn't meet the point threshold? So they award you on presentation, your speech, the board, the time. So you're covered in mud.

I think mud probably had a thing to do with it. It was the most mad my mom's ever been at me because I just got a new pair of corduroys. And you had to have like 40 points for gold and i was like at 33 like yeah that's great nightmare on a stage around like everybody when people say we're the participation trophy generation you tell them that story you gave me second place in a one-man contest. One time I got, I was just saying this, I got negative eight on a quiz. Did you forget your name?

No, she was just like, you got it really wrong. So a zero. So give me a zero. Give me a zero. I was like, you can't go into the negatives. It was like deep in the negatives, too. It was like a 12-point test. You're like, Miss Simpson't go into the negatives. It was like deep in the negatives too. It was like a 12 point test. You're like, Miss Simpson, I'll do anything.

Just give me a zero. Just give me a zero. All the others, you just let me suck dick. I'm so desperate for a zero. Never fucked a woman, but I will. Sucking dick for a zero would be the most low anybody's ever been. It's right there with second place in a one-man challenge. You see Kyrna Kopp retired from OnlyFans? Oh, yeah.

$67 million in three years. She retired from OnlyFans. That's a good haul. People were comparing it to... Was she having sex on camera? What was her content? You said that. As if you've never heard of sex.

Was that intercourse i think that if i had to guess it was probably uh like solo stuff okay i actually have no idea she could have just been doing pictures for all i know i don't i don't want to put that on the reputation 67 in three years so people were like comparing it to like sports contracts being like you know like uh you know that final final three-year deal for Dwight Howard never really panned out, but Coretta Cobb got $67 million. I'm sucking

zero to zero. $67 million. You can do whatever the fuck you want. I don't even know who she is. I thought she was an older person. No, she's like a... She's probably the David Dobrik. I was going to say the Logan Paul crew, but like I don't know anything about – Does she like also make other content?

I think she's a vlogger. I thought she was – She's Glennie's like number one. I know that. There was like a – kind of just like a hot person back in the day. Like Julie began with a K. It was like Kramer maybe or something like that she'd be like a guest that ass all the time i thought i thought these were the same person

no yeah she's just a uh a young uh like streamer whatever personality who oh who he does put that down oh he does yeah why. Yeah. Why? Fuck you, dude. Who's this? He's David Dobrik. I just know him because he tongue smiles. I fucking hate him. I don't know anything he does. Just a tongue smile.

Yeah, no, 67 mil, though. That's the sort of shit that would really make me, like, really consider things if I was a girl. Now, this girl's very pretty and very famous so like you're not gonna make 67 million but like I don't know. There's a certain level

where I'd be like alright I'm just gonna do this. I really think I would. I really mean that. I don't. I mean I like I think like it's depending on my parents

and shit like that I'd like try to figure it out but I'd be like I'm definitely gonna give this a whirl. At least see what you can get away with before you really compromise yourself. It just gives me a weird feeling. Well, yeah. I'm not going to say

it's the best thing, but if you could make $67 million and make your dreams come true, live the life you want, donate money, that's enough money to do whatever you want. That's better than any hockey player. Your kid wants than any hockey player. Like your kid wants to play hockey.

Like try getting hot. To make that much money, Sidney Crosby, Connor McDavid, they'd have to play hockey for 6.7 years. Yeah. Right, right. The, if you told me right now, and obviously I don't have anything against it by any stretch of the imagination,

but like if you told me right now, like if you post like kind of racy pics for three years, you'll get 6, 7 million. I don't think i'd do it well you're fucking dumb i'm like i just don't want to do that when there was some sort of i don't want to put myself out there for ridicule it's not even the ridicule it's i i wouldn't for people want something so bad i just inherently don't want to give it to him yeah well like with the fin dom guy like i don't he just gives me money when I ask for it. But I'm like, I don't feel like talking to him.

And like, I don't feel like. Yeah, but you were making $100 a pop. Yeah, that's so true. Because you're a terrible businesswoman. So true. If you were making $100,000 a pop, I think it was a little different. I was going to do it, and then I got a rash on my dick. Yeah, right.

But like, that would be like more curious. Now's the perfect time to have like a sale. Mine's just a medical page. They bring in people like, what's your diagnosis? We've never seen this in the Western world. You said if you want to scrub your... Penis? No, no.

Google searches. Oh, I was going to say scrub a different way. God. Let's do one more, right? Yeah. Hey, what's up, guys? Long time fan. Jackie's killing it.

Y'all are doing great. Hey, I got a couple things I wanted to say. A couple episodes ago, John was talking about switches, power switches for like a door or something. Anyway, I'm an electrical engineer, and he he is 100 right on how switches work he his logic was spot on so good job john gotta give you your flowers there bud secret genius uh and then the other day a couple episodes before that uh y'all were talking about helen keller for some reason um i'm from alabama i'll actually live in the town now where Helen Keller is from. She lives like six blocks from me.

Her house and my house is really close. And so every year they have a parade for Helen Keller, and they have an impersonator come. Oh, my God. It's like an honor, I guess, to do this play, and then they have a parade. It's the worst. It's the cringiest thing in the world.

Do they do like the, oh, water. Wait pause it because i what was going through your head when i didn't know helen keller was southern yeah that's crazy a deaf southern accent is the funniest thing like a real twang to the mouth that has to sound horrible dude i actually had a different take on her being Southern where I was like, I've always kind of been like, people were like, she couldn't learn to read. I'm like, I don't know. I guess she figured it out somehow. Like, now I believe she never actually learned to read. No.

She's from Alabama. That's the dead giveaway. It's not that you don't have half of your senses. It's that you're from south of the Mason-Dixon. It's like Selina Meyer in Veep when she goes, Alabama, first in the alphabet, last in every other fucking thing. Have you guys ever done a deep dive in Helen Keller? I mean, I've had a longstanding joke, but not so joke,

that I really don't think it's real. There's no way. If this story came out today, everyone would be like, this is a hoax, and you're grifting for sympathy. There's just no way this is a real thing. It's just not real. It just can't be. Also, if you're a Helen Keller impersonator,

it's kind of like, if you don't have any talent or anything, that's a pretty good job. It's perfect. Why don't you do an impression? Why don't we all go around and give our best impression? She was super sexually repressed. There was like this article I read, like she showed interest in like wanting to have sex

and they shot that down so bad, which is like, if I were blind and deaf, I would be constantly beating off. Constantly beating off. She never even, like, give her that. Let her get dipped down, man.

Kyle and I were talking, like, if a time machine ever gets invented, I'm getting Helen Keller a dildo. Going back and getting, like, get Helen a dildo. Let her live, dude. Yeah.

She's blind and deaf. That's the one pleasure she can't experience. Just guide it in. And she didn't even get that i mean it's just not a real it's not a real i actually speaking to hawk tour earlier she had a clip where she goes i thought that helen keller flyed an airplane so she's mixing that's fair and we i think me and you were talking about it. There's random people in history

that's like, we all learned about Helen Keller and Amelia Earhart. Why? We all know those two random fucking people. It's not a good look for a woman. There's a real shortage of historical women. Just because a woman probably did something

and they were like... Oh, this one wrecked a plane? She's dead? Let's talk about her. All right, wait. Let's finish this off. Part of Alabama, around Mobile, where Mardi Gras was from. I can't stand Mardi Gras. It's an unpopular opinion, but it's just too much.

But in the town I actually grew up in daphne alabama there's this thing called a jubilee it happens there and one other place in the world maybe japan or like africa i'm not sure what sounds like fucking uh anchor man brazilian or japanese swim on shore and they don't i mean they know why it's the oxygen level and the tides but it's random they don't know when they'll do it and thousands of fish flounder blue crab shrimp will just swim on shore perfectly healthy nothing wrong with them um look at google it it's the craziest thing but my question to y'all is that's not part of the question something from your hometown or where you live now that everybody loves or is a big deal and you're just like, I don't really care.

Whatever. I'm over it. Or is there something from your hometown or the area you're from that's your party conversation starter? You don't really know how to talk to somebody, so you're like, let me tell you about this Jubilee. It should be on National Geographic. Nobody knows what it is. Cherise? Cherise.

I always hear about that shit. Portuguese Cherise. Yeah, I mean, Portuguese Cherise is unbelievable. But the answer is Lizzie Borden. Lizzie Borden? Yeah. Lizzie Borden's from Fall River, Mass. She was a witch?

No, she killed her parents. She was a ghost. Is that what Ring Around the Rosie's about or something like that? No, that's about the place. Lizzie Borden took an axe, gave her mother 40 whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father 41. And then she's a ghost, right? Or no?

I don't think that. It's haunting. I guess yes, definitively a ghost. Do people go to the house? People go to the houses, like the Fall River Historical Museum. I think it was the house the murders are in is a museum, the house she then lived in. I think she kind of earned it.

She earned – but, like, I've never done any of it. Oh, yeah. That's like I've never gone to the Empire State Building. Yeah, yeah. That's your liberty and all that. I feel like that's what you're saying. You're kind of over it. Like, I've never done any of the Lizzie Borden stuff.

But, like, it's a – I wouldn't say it's a major part of, like, Fall River education. Like, it's definitely mentioned, but it's not a big thing. But, big thing but you know they've made like a ton of movies and tv shows and i think i think kristen stewart did a movie about it recently um she was found innocent whoa she didn't actually do it yeah i think it's like she 1000 did it oh but i think it's an oj type deal um but she was definitely found innocent i i mean i've never've never done... Actually, doing the rat race with Clemmer was like the most I've ever done in New York City. Wow. I did the Empire State Building

when my father worked there. That was the only reason I've ever done that. I've never done the Statue of Liberty. I've never done... I've only been to Central Park like a couple times. I don't do... I don't know if I've ever been to the museums. I'm also just uncultured swine.

But it's also just like I'd rather just go home tonight than do any of these things I come from somewhere where there's nothing It's so crazy that you're from there I would just never We have Moondog Is your family still down there? Yeah they're still there

We popped into the Burger King Oh on the island The island's. The island's bad. The island's bad. In the river. It has the casino on it. And my high school football field.

I didn't play high school football. The football field is on an island in the river. Yeah. It's a bad part of town. That's crazy. There's a strip club across the street and then we went into the Burger King and like we all had a pee

and they gave you a spatula yeah is the key the key is the spatula hang on let me just flip this burger real quick it's right across the street

from Godfather Part 2 oh what do you mean that's the name of the strip club oh that's the name of the strip club oh okay is that like the one

well no there's Godfather 1 stupid question stupid question but the sequel is better Is that like the one? Well, no, there's Godfather 1. Stupid question. Stupid question. But the sequel is better. But you won't understand the tits unless you go to the first one first. All right. I love that call.

Also, by the way, I feel like we glossed over the fact that I fucking nailed that electrical door situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was it? It was like a door, open the switch. When it's in use, not in use. Right. I would say it's not in use when the door is door open the switch in use not in use right i would say it's not in use when the door is open it's in use when it's closed oh because that's

how electrical circuits science yeah thank you for the call and thank you for complimenting me yeah thanks for the compliment i got a compliment so all right we'll wrap up here go go uh listen to anus no check out the yeah yeah yeah we out of order. Out of order. Yeah, yeah. We had Kurt Koston in Boston. Oh, wow. Yeah. Cool. I felt so awkward doing that. I don't think I was good at that.

No, dude. You were very good. You did exactly what you were supposed to be doing. Good. I did. I texted Feidelberg afterwards because I totally, totally choked introducing Nick. No, I was cool with it. I was like, you know, I talked about

Feidelberg and I was like, how about this fucking guy who just decided to become a stand-up comedian and an actor like 12 years into our careers together. Like, fucking incredible, right? And now we got this next guy. He's even funnier. I meant it to be like, and the show's gonna keep going

and be funny. And it's like, he's fun's going to keep going. It'll be funny. And it's like, he's funnier than this guy that just went. Now that that was out of the way. Kirk will definitely be more a part of the show, I believe, though, than I was. You did everything you needed to do. I think Kirk will be, though, like, more. Actually, I don't know. Sometimes Kirk is normal. Sometimes Kirk will be like, I don't know. Sometimes Kirk is normal. Sometimes Kirk will be like, I don't know.

That fucking sucked. Let's bring him to second. Piece of shit. What the fuck were you thinking? It's a great show. I think – I mean, so Chicago is the last stop. No, Boston. Boston is the last stop as you listen to this.

But I think there will probably be another round hopefully. Yeah, I think so. A tour. This was like a proof of concept, and I think it's shown to work. I mean, it proved it worked, so be ready for Out of Order coming to town near you, and definitely go check it out. Subscribe on YouTube, and

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to Chicago. He's about to say Ohio. Back to Chicago where he belongs after a very up and down twisty, windy week where people went from one side to the other

and back again. The final version is in. Go be on your merry way. Yeah. I tweeted this in the middle of the show. I have kissed Pat on his mouth before. You have kissed what?

Pat. I've walked into Out and About and I've kissed Pat on the mouth. Yeah. That kissed what? Pat. I've walked into Out and About and I've kissed Pat on the mouth. Yeah. That's the gayest thing I've ever done here. That was crazy. It just turned into an actual therapy session. What the fuck are we doing right now? Tommy spit some bars, but it got very serious after Tommy really laid it out there,

like what's going on with the New York office. And then the whole time him doing it in an inmate suit. I thought that was a Halloween thing. And when he first came out, I thought it was like – I almost rolled my eyes at it. And then I was like, oh, wait, never mind. It's Halloween. As if that made it better. Oh, no, no, never mind.

He's just dressed up for Halloween. And then I realized it was like a dave prisoner thing that was that was crazy it was just everyone whining about fucking different things just like we always wanted to get together and whine that was great the way he went at d it was crazy that i was i wouldn't have chosen i didn't even necessarily think about like the whining i think there's a lot of valid like points to go around about just Agreed. Agreed. You just let this guy be a fucking dick to everybody, and then you have to decide his fate. But 10 straight minutes of going at Dave was probably not a good idea.

Oh, a no-caller ID. I wonder who this is. Dave has been kind of letting on. Oh, you you know this guy i don't pay attention to him he doesn't affect me i think that's a little bit disingenuous because i think he bothers him and like this is what was the way he was going to stick it to him um but you know all of that there's a lot of talking about dave and at dave's like i i was next to fran and like three i think three separate times during a speech i like we hit each other like you should hit me right at her and i was like we're still doing this is an interesting angle to go with crazy but i i wrote this on my ballot my ballot didn't get read i think we could have

ended this in the first two minutes yeah Yeah. But like when he was, cause I haven't put all that much thought into it. I knew I was going to vote him to go back to Chicago. And when he got there and he was talking about his, he's like, I was a character. I was a cartoon. I was blah,

blah, blah. I was like, Oh, we've, we've done this. Then the precedent is set. Yeah.

One month internet troll shirt. I was going to say like that. That's where, you know, Frank had said uh two months probation i had i had told kelly i thought i really thought kelly was gonna do i thought that was a good idea to to do the uh the two weeks where you make him grovel and do whatever you want and then you get your pound of flesh but you send him home because to me that was the only way

the only way for new york to you know not catch heat or ruin London or whatever the fuck you want to call it. If Kelly had, if she said to him, you have two weeks and you have to reach 100%. I'm making up like this chart. And every time you do something nice or beg for forgiveness or get me lunch or show me that you're human you get like 10 points and if you have and over the next two weeks if you could do that 10 times i will send you on your way and if you can't you have to stay here and then you can make him squirm at the end of the fucking two weeks he's only got like 70 percent or something like that and at the end you'd be like here's your 100 points now get the

fuck out of my city go home and you made him like sit on his knees and beg and maybe hit him with the champagne and you do all that stuff where it's like you there are consequences for your actions you came in here you fucked with people we fuck with you back and then you go home i think i i think all that is like fine in theory and then once you start practicing you're like what the fuck am i doing i don't want to make this person grovel in front of me like i hope that's what you think i think a lot of people did one time i did and also but here my main thing was um because he said he like in that and the last bit he was like he would not have have begged and i was i just found out he's 31 that blew my mind that changed everything for me.

I thought he was like 23, 24, like fresh out of school, has a girlfriend, but whatever. You're like a 31-year-old dude with like, as I understand it, this woman who has a career and she bought a house and then sold that house and bought a new house. And now is even slightly considering doing it a third time and like a thousand miles difference. I cannot believe when that was occurring that he wasn't just like, I just got to go see you. I'm sorry. Like at this point, I just got to, you know,

I just got to go in there and be like, I'm sorry. Like, you know what I mean? I'm assuming at least if you're dating someone, you're 31, you want to marry them. You want to be with them.

You're going to move in together. You're live together. All that shit. The fact that he wasn't just like, uh, I'm going to get in like so much trouble or lose the love of my life or whatever the fuck. together you're gonna live together all that shit the fact that he wasn't just like uh i'm gonna get in like so much trouble or lose the love of my life or whatever the fuck i'm sorry like i i thought when you're 23 and you're new and you can't take an l and you want to like you want to keep your

the twitter audience happy you don't want to like show any vulnerability. At 31, usually there's some perspective where by that point you're like, okay, this isn't that important. Sorry, let's just move on from this. 31 is great. 31, I think it was 31 the year before the pandemic. That was yesterday. Yeah. That was like, that was yesterday. Yeah. That was fucking...

I was the same way. I thought he was like a kid. I thought he was good. No, it's crazy. Which doesn't make sense because I knew he was a teacher, but I didn't... Yeah, I thought he was like a tenured teacher or a brand new teacher. He's got to be like a tenured teacher, you know? Like, that is...

That really blew my mind. But he will, he will do it. Like, I, I think I said it like, you're going to turn right around and be like those pussies in New York. Couldn't even pull the trigger. He's not gonna do it tomorrow. He's not gonna do it next week. He's going to do it.

Yeah, totally. I don't know. Once the chips, he is a, he's a, he's a true blue nut job. That's for sure. Like the whole, like I am a character thing. Once the chips are back. He is a true blue nut job. That's for sure. Totally. The whole, like, I am a character thing. It's like. When you start talking like that, when you start talking about, like, my character, like, my world got blended.

What are you talking about? What are you talking about? And especially when you're, like, you know, if, like, PFT said that to me, I'd be like, oh, I get it. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you talking about nobody knows your blended world or your real world or your fake world that's but that's i don't know anything like i know you're right about ohio sports that kind of speaks to like what you said where i think you were like it was like we hired a commenter which is what we did

obviously which is fine but but it's not great. Yeah, I don't think it's fine. I think that was a lame. That was a bad hire. Yeah. Why did we hire him? What did he do? I do not know.

How did he get hired again? I think it was the key. Well, he got a part-time job, I think, writing about Ohio sports. Okay. Don't know how that initially started. That was Barstool Idol, which I forgot he was on. If I'd remembered that, then I probably would have known he waso idol which i forgot he was on which if i'd remembered that then i probably would have known he was older but i forgot he was the head he was in ahead of the pack by a mile yeah and then they had to do like a stand-up routine which was like any it didn't

have to be stand-up it was like a live like any he i think he quit like right away yeah he went home like two days and david was like fine you can go home and write yeah it was like that was the old office that was a long like again if i don't if i'd pieced it together yeah now i've been like oh yeah he is older right right but it was like uh as soon as like you know you had to really you couldn't hide behind a blog or whatever he was like i'm out yeah that's why that's the troll shirt like this whole thing we've we've had this whole thing yeah we've done this we've had this this hearing this trial we know what the punishment is like this as soon as he said that i almost stood up

like oh troll shirt we're done let's get the fuck out of here i i still think we could have gone further with it i think uh i think i think kelly like it's obviously insane to make somebody get on their knees and beg. But like just fucking do it, dude. Like whatever. Then there's like a funny fucking picture of you out there. But like I don't know. It's got to be weird going home to your girlfriend after that and being like, we're good. Like they didn't like you know choose to

to blow this up but like really not through any of his own design like i i don't know i don't i was not swayed by him one no no i was voting chicago and i don't think anybody was like oh wow that was really heartfelt i you know i think it was just like go home yeah but so like but had it gone a little poorly a little more poorly like like when i she said something about like making him grovel or beg and he went like i don't think i'll do that and i was like wow like you're really opening the door for like if somebody wanted to jump in there and be like no no you have to do it right now or like you know kelly's i'll sway the whole room i don't think he would have done it that's crazy yeah i i also i i think there's some i think it's

you there's you i think that's an equally wrong situation i think if you're making someone grovel in front of you i think no like literally no matter what situation if you're like get on your knees and beg you're a fucking sicko like i don't care if you're like, get on your knees and beg, you're a fucking sicko. I don't care if you're a fucking Russia-Ukraine war stumbling upon some guy in the woods. If you're like, get on your knees and beg, there's something twisted about you. So I think if you're calling for it or doing it, it's just a fucking... I think that would have looked weird for everyone. Yeah, but I kind of wish...

I agree with everything you just said. I wanted it, too. That would have looked weird for everyone. Yeah, but I kind of wish. I agree with everything you just said. I wanted it. Yeah. I think, you know, again, he said a couple times, like, something about, you know, like, why you guys are doing this to me. And it's like, you just did it to us. And now you're getting consequences. So this is how it goes.

Get on your fucking knees. The Dave stuff was wild. But particularly, but particularly you forget i guess with new people right if you think dave knows anything about yours he's like i know i got receipts if i believe dave 100 in not everything but but yeah no honestly like i basically believe dave% on everything. I'm sure Tate sent the DM saying, like, my girlfriend's not happy. Whether Dave read that or remembers that, no fucking shot, dog. And that's, again, more back to what I was saying to him. Like, all of these things are because you've been here for a cup of coffee. Yeah.

Like, you don't know. I didn't think, like, it was going to really have the repercussions it did yeah because you don't know yet i could have told you that if you jump on i don't care who you are or how new you are how little you are if you start to complain uh that people aren't working hard that's going to be a fucking thing of personal you know so all all of these things that were like yeah well i didn't know this or i didn't know that it's like yeah because you're fucking new here but the thing, if you think the way that was like, I'm going to turn to him and talk now. It's like your life is about to be real fucking shitty for a long time. Because I think he'll just slowly.

He will ruin your life. You know what I mean? Dave, it'll be like how I ruined the life of a plant I got where I just keep forgetting the water. I forget it's there. I'm not trying to kill it. I'm doing other things but it will happen yeah it's just not on my mind that was crazy to go at him that like that hard yeah i don't know what's crazier to either think that dave like cares about you enough to know anything about you or like dave doesn't have a fucking clue about anything about me.

I've been here a long time. Dave doesn't have a clue. If you asked Dave what color my hair was, he'd be like, I don't know. Heidelberg? Hank? It's like, depends on the light. I don't know Tate's last name. I don't know.

I don't think that's possible. Oh, I guess I thought it was Tate. Just because it comes second in Ohio. First name's Ohio. Ohio's with a Z. Yeah, I guess Tate is a first name, isn't it? I definitely thought it was his last name. Tate Holmes? Is that his name?

Sounds right. Tate Holmes. That's because we just talked about Pete Holmes. Maybe. And they're both just Midwestern looking people. No. and they're both just midwestern looking people no that was fucking but see to me that was either like we you either got to get weird with it and do some like some shit that i was talking about or like don't even do this at all because i thought that was kind of a weird in between yeah it was that was that was worst case scenario well that's why though when this happened i said do this to like this happened on a monday i said do this vote on a tuesday when people were hot yeah they were ripping they were seeing red even then no because then honestly i think on tuesday if i have my gossip in a row i think tuesday we would

have voted to keep them and i know three days later we've been like oh fuck i know but yes yes yes no that's why i said like it probably in the long run would have been bad but that is why i said let's do it because like i think it probably would have been better to vote him and then like let him off the hook or something like that yeah this was just like kind of whatever this is also like you fucked with us we fuck with you fuck you i like that i like that image for the new york office better than like put it this way i i i as always with these things uh and almost everything in my life i always think like would the person extend the same grace towards me and i don't think it would have been that's fair but that's where it's like but i'm like i'll be above it or the bigger person or whatever and i'm not i am thinking like knowing that that girl is i believe a lawyer like early

30s has like probably busted her ass and has you know put a down payment on a house granted i don't know houses in cleveland cost like 60 grand but like to move twice and then it's like you're not even doing it you know for the fucking you're not it's not even about tate it's about it's like it's like you're doing it for their kids or something you know like do it for this poor girl who for some reason would follow t Tate Holmes around the country. That's fucking crazy. You do that for a superstar or someone you really believe in. Maybe she believes in him, but it's crazy to me.

I think this whole experiment is something i hope everybody remembers where it's just like in a week no one's gonna give a fuck yeah doesn't matter what it's about it could be about the biggest story of the day an ongoing story a story that's been lasting for six months in a week no one's gonna give up i know but you know what i think about that like i i think that's a little bit of a problem like i know that happens to me all the time something happens i'm seeing red and by the time we get here i'm like yeah i don't care that doesn't really make for good content no i mean that's true but it makes for the most reasonable content and we're at a point i think where it's more about like reasonable life than like content content content but you know there's been many times where I'm like, by the time I get called onto Dave's show

or we're doing our own thing, I'm literally like, all right, I'll do this for the clicks because I know it's a popular topic. But I do not feel the same adrenaline about it. I do not feel the same way about it. And that does not make for the best of content. So voting while you're really mad or really feeling it probably would have been a more entertaining product.

And then I think, you know, if you go back on it, the fans get upset. I don't know. It's like, who fucking cares? You know what I mean? But I still think that Frank said two months. That was crazy. I think two weeks would have been.

I love Frank. I love Frank and Nate. I thought we're stars of the show. Nate. I mean, Nate. And they get up there with two speeches. Unbelievable.

Maybe like the podium is mine. I'll take the podium. No one else. No one else went to the podium. Just everyone else. No one else stood up. He was like, I'll take this.

You don't mind. He was kind of singing halfway through. Did you guys notice that? He had a little bit of rhythm in his speech. Who? Nate. Nate. I mean, you know, I am happy that somebody did say something like that.

I think that – I'm happy Tommy stood up for the New York office. I think a lot of things like like it's just the whole dynamic is like people don't understand it like tate being like i think i've done a lot of really good content here and you know people just don't know it and it's like well that's the definition like yeah that's everyone that's what you're doing when you're right like right most people are making content you're just not like i don't know what that's what i mean about the t-ball thing but yeah even that it was like i i could piece together like you i'm when you're grinding like right most people are making contact you're just not like i don't know what that's what i mean about the t-ball thing but yeah even that it was like i i could piece together like you i'm sure you threw a first pitch at every single level like cool you know

marty like played baseball against a professional athlete and because of i think like he's one that suffered from the new york uh you know rhetoric where it's like nobody cares or nobody thinks it's good. So it's like, yeah, welcome to the fucking shitty part of this. It's like there are people doing great content that if it came from somebody else or apparently came from a different city people would like it. But it comes from here so it doesn't. And you

pile that on and that sucks and now you are like, no, I'm more than a troll. It's like, no, you're not. It's like everybody has their other shit, but it's like these guys do golf, these guys do hockey, you do troll. That's it. I'm sure you've written some heartfelt blog or some funny things. Nobody fucking cares.

There was one idea that came in at the very end. I don't know if you guys know it because it's from a member of Out of Order. Did you hear this idea? I don't think so. Nick's idea was, you know how apparently he has that lucky parking spot in Cleveland? So he made a video once where he was like,

he parked at this parking spot in the Guardian's parking lot. And the woman came out and was like, you can't do that. You got to park on the end and this is how it goes. and tate was such a dick about it he was like lady you're making a mistake you're making a big mistake like filming it being like barstool you know like my company's gonna be mad about this you're gonna regret this and she was kind of like really do that yeah yeah he was like you're gonna make you're making a big mistake, lady. But I mean, like, referencing, like, do I work for Barstool?

No, but I took that to mean, like, what else would that mean? You get your camera out and you're making a big mistake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he, I think it's a lucky parking spot. And the woman was kind of like, there's a system to this. And she was like, then take your money and go. You don't have to park here and uh nick was like i don't even know how this particularly works but he apparently it's like assigned parking spots or some shit and he

was like you need to go buy that parking spot for the year and like when the first season comes up when you know he goes to the apparently every time he's gone to the game he parks in that spot they win every time all that and when he shows up he parks in that spot. They win every time, all that. And when he shows up and it's like, no, this has been purchased, like, through the entire year. But I don't know. I mean, that's – I've never heard of a parking lot at a baseball game having assigned seating.

Yeah, I mean, I guess, like, in Boston if you park at the Prue, like, the Prue has, like – I mean, there are places that have – Park at, like, a garage that has a number. Yeah, like, if it's also, also like an apartment complex or something like that. Yeah, shared or whatever. So that would have been a funny way to do it, like, without blood on your hands, you know. Because, again, making somebody grovel and beg is like. Take it out on the Cleveland Indians or Cleveland Guardians.

I want to make you go 0 and 162 this year. So, yeah, we can close the books on that. But that's what happens when you let a blogger become a i mean you let a commenter become a blogger i do i do hope he does other stuff i i don't really that's because i don't care you know like i care about my people and what they do and and anybody who comes to me like that was the other thing that bothered me my name like kept pseudo coming up and i know this is this is not like not about me but like it came up enough where it was like dave was like well like if kevin said something or like people like kfc this gives you that it's

like i i tried that on a very literal level before erica left there was like a position a job that opened up and i was like i will take job. And then I tried to do it when Dave brought the company back. And I tried to do that where I was like, I'm not going to like run the office, but I'm going to like kind of spearhead the movement of these meetings. We did all those meetings, those idea meetings and trying to do the videos. And then Dave like very publicly on the show was like, that's not KFC. He's not that guy. I run the New York office i was like i'm fucking done then yeah i'm gonna be the jackass who shows up trying to do the job that i have publicly been said is not my job like i'm not gonna dwight shrewd this shit just be like please dave like let me you know i'll be the assistant to

the yeah yeah so like i but at the same time anybody who comes to me i have always helped and always will like you never did the people who do come i i help all the time and uh also like that so i care about those people but like if he if he does like i don't but that whole narrative would not that narrative but that was even when that was happening, that was insane. Like, when it was like, like, anyone in the situation that was happening here, like, if it was Dave, if it was you, if it was anybody who was like, hey, leave this place alone. Looks ridiculous. So insane. Like, we're not fucking, they're not 12.

No, you can go do your thing. Yeah. I would never tell you not to do it. Hey, stop being mean to everybody who the fuck is gonna say go ahead be as mean as you want and also people being like it's not gonna last it's like i don't know that i don't know i've been wrong about the shit before maybe becoming a troll for barstool there's a huge audience of people that hate us maybe you'd be fine i don't know go do your fucking thing i'm not in the business of if you come to me and ask me i'll

give you my opinion i'll help you but i'm not gonna actively go out if you come to me and ask me, I'll give you my opinion. I'll help you. But I'm not going to actively go out and be like, oh, I don't think so. Do whatever the fuck you want. Hey, you're being a little rude. Yeah. I don't know how you're fucking, right? Mom. That's crazy. And they're never – the Dave thing is funny.

It's like there will never be a – if Dave had said like Dan is in Chicago, I am in Miami. Kevin is running the show in New York. John is the decision maker in New York. You go to, you know, Nate with all of your questions. And then that was, like, decreed. It still wouldn't be as natural, but it would be like, all right, that's how companies work. There's a boss who tells you, you know, you report to this person, you report to this person, you report to that person. But if that's never going to happen

and he's still, like, the one doing it, then it's like, I don't know. It's up to him. I actually would vote. I would put, like, Nate in charge. Which is funny. Which is funny that this whole thing is, it's just putting Tate in charge.

We end this whole thing with, like, well, we'll just have Nate in charge. Tate, you are moving to New York, buddy. And you're growing about, I'm sorry, you're shrinking about half a foot.

Yeah, Ohio's Nate. Ohio's Nate is the name. So, we could close the books on that. But I do think six months down the line,

something, somebody will be fighting and it'll be like new york pussies couldn't even didn't even have the balls to pull the trigger on me that'll happen yeah maybe maybe that's where i was like if i thought for one second that you were actually uh you know to borrow a word from frank who said it a thousand times there was any contrition showed any sort of contrition. Well, you know what? That's funny because Dave was throwing the word sociopath. I strongly disagree with that word because if it was a sociopath,

I would have believed him. Sociopaths. I didn't believe it. You don't believe it for a second. You're like, all right, this is enough for this. That was a bad apology. Sociopaths are good at convincing you they're sorry or yes and also i like we like i don't know if you're kidding i don't think he has to be sorry for anything he's

an asshole yeah yeah you act like a dickhead i don't know right you don't have to like you know like i'm so sorry right enough to cry but that's where i think it would have been funny like just get on your knees i don't think he like literally couldn't do it like he and that that's where it's like well then i don't think you do really care enough about your uh your your home situation or whatever it's like yeah there'll be some memes of you like sucking a guy's dick because you put yourself on your knees on the internet and in return you will like go home and stay in this house that your girlfriend bought or whatever. That doesn't seem that crazy to me.

But I really don't think he would have done it. When Kelly said that, he was like, I don't think so. And he was like, I think this will look bad for you. And it's like, who fucking cares? You worry about your goddamn self. But yeah, he'll say something. He will say something. When the time is right, when it's died down, he'll say something.

You think so? Yeah. Totally. I kind of hope so. Tate of fate. Fate of Tate. The part two. Tate.

Fucking Rone. Jesus Christ សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.