KFC Radio - Nickelback || We React to New York Times Hit Piece on Dave Portnoy & Barstool That Came and Went
Episode Date: November 22, 2022- Glenny Balls has convinced us he may actually be a god after singing onstage at a Nickelback concert - Feits ruined his mattress with melted ice cream once again - Trump is running for office again ...- Francis cheated the system at the Delta Lounge - Do you have ADHD? - We react to the New York Times Hit Piece on Dave which said a whole lot of nothing - Kanye West is running for president and we’re all over it - Some guy released rankings of 600 top porn stars…. And it’s all wrong - Video Voicemails - Interview with Nickelback +++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 0:00 - Glenny Balls may be a literal god 13:42 - Feits ruined his mattress with ice cream 13:42 - Trump is running for president again 38:50 - Francis cheated the system at the Delta Lounge 42:00 - Do you have ADHD? 51:17 - New York Times hit piece on Dave 59:35 - Kanye West is running for president 01:01:01 - worst list of top 600 porn stars 01:12:29 - Video Voicemails 01:29:47 - Nickelback +++++++++++++++++++++ Betterhelp: KFC Radio is sponsored by Betterhelp. Go to https://barstool.link/BHKFC for 10% off your first month Bearbottom Clothing: Go to https://barstool.link/Bearbottomkfc to get free shipping on your first purchase. Proper Wild: Go to https://barstool.link/ProperwildBSS to try Proper Wild 30% Off. HEYDUDE: Go to https://barstool.link/HEYDUDEKFC and use code BARSTOOL for 15% off. Cannot be combined with other discounts. One time use per code. 15 item limit. Must enter code at checkout. Not valid on previous purchases. No rainchecks. Simplisafe: Get 50% off any new system at https://barstool.link/SimplisafekfcYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr
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Who, who, I, uh, I defy you to find a hundred people better on this earth when it comes to fucking.
Atlanta Roads, buck 22.
Come on! Do you take the elevator up?
Yeah.
Do you just go right to two?
I go right to two.
So I was on the elevator.
First of all,
I saw Glennie Ball's new member of Nickelback.
We'll talk about that in a moment.
Also, just to clarify something,
I take the elevator up because I can't take the stairs. Because you don't have a key card.
I don't have a key card. Which again, I've asked for recently.
They just tell me no.
Like I don't check my
bank account enough to know if I even get paid.
You might be getting what's his name, Milton?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We fix the glitch.
You might just be showing up to his market.
I just spend money on a credit card and I don't pay it.
I have no idea if I make money.
The fact that they just keep going, nah, you don't need one.
Like, to my face, three separate times.
I need to be able to get into the building to work.
Nah, you're good.
They're like, nah, you're all set.
So I have to take the elevator, and I stand at the door, like the mailman,
and I wait for someone to buzz me in.
Well, I just hopped in the elevator, and I'm in a rush here because I was late,
and I see Glennie Balls, and I start fucking with him. I'm like, oh, my God, I knew his name. Bro, he's a nickelback. I'm punching him. here because I was late and I see Glennie Balls and I start fucking with him.
I'm like, oh my god, I knew his name.
I'm punching him. We're laughing about it.
Doors open up.
Doors open up.
We walk out. I'm on three.
I was like, fuck.
Glennie, you fucked me. I'm racing to the studio
right now. What are you doing
on three? And he goes, ah, when there's other
people in the elevator with me I get nervous about going to two so I go to three and he goes ah when there's other people in the in the
in the elevator with me i get nervous about going to two so i go to three and i walk down oh that's
crazy town and i know where he's coming from because i do get some i get some he's gonna try
this again it's gonna oh nicely done that was a quick mute i used to i used to think that way
well i i still get a little bit weirded out like i i do know i'm like look i don't have
i have no other way to do this.
See, but that's the thing.
That's what set me free is the day that you have, even just once, a legitimate excuse to go to two.
Then it's like, how do you know that my company even has a fucking door that I can get into?
Right, right, right.
You know what I mean?
Like, so the first day that you can proudly go to two because it's like maybe it's something personal.
I have a broken foot or it's something work I can you know we're
getting construction done I can't I have to go on the elevator once you one time
have a real excuse the rest of the time it's like fuck dude I see when I Motherfuckers. Someone says 12. Someone says 14. I went two. Can you hit two for me?
When those high buttons start hitting up and then you're like, dink, and it just goes wonk.
I get it.
I'm not going to say I'm above the awkwardness of that.
I do feel it because I've been on the other side of it.
I mean, I used to work on what floor?
12th floor at Deloitte, I guess guess it was And there would be motherfuckers who
You know but like then
You know in some office buildings
You can't like just walk
You know what I mean
It's like kind of a fake building here
So everybody's got to be able to take the elevator
So it wasn't like we're mad at
I just hate everybody
You just get the
You get the groan though
Yeah
I give the groan
You get the
You get the fuck
Yeah
I do like
I'll do it when I'm in different buildings And I have to takeunt. You got the – You got to fuck kidding me. Yeah. I do.
I'll do it when I'm in different buildings and I have to take the elevator like 14 and someone takes it to 13.
I'm like, what the fuck?
Motherfucker.
Who do you think you are?
What the fuck do you think you're doing living on the 13th floor?
The best is when you're on the first level of a new bank.
It's like these go to 1 to 15 and these go to 15 to 30.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
When you're on 15, you get the express every day.
Oh, the little things in life.
I don't have to ride the elevator with anybody else because I just go right to 15.
But Glennard Balls hitting the three and walking down.
Particularly for Glennie.
You would think.
I'm not saying anything.
Glennie would be a true guy.
You'd think Glennie would be a second floor.
I'm going to hit two.
No, I mean, he's a gentleman and a scholar.
But I walked out like in a – I was like, where are we?
Three?
What's going on up here?
I've never been up here before.
Glennie, he was like – I cannot believe they did that last night.
Glennie last night at a Nickelback concert.
We had heard that Nickelback was going to let him up on stage.
Now, is Nickelback one of these things where the kids of the band really like us?
And that's why – we had Chris Hansen in here, and he was openly like,
my 25-year-old son really loves
you guys. That's why this happened.
What's going on with Nickelback that
Glennie Balls is getting on stage with them? Or is it just
that they love Balls? I think
they did on the guest list,
and they're on today's episode also.
They're very, very cool.
They're awesome. The interview with
Nickelback is... We were so gassed up for it
It takes a lot to get gassed up
For interviews these days
We're getting actually kind of snobby at points
We're like no no no
And it's either like friends of ours
Really important people
Or a like Nickelback
That's probably the fastest I've ever said yes to a guest
I say it's a dream
Not in the sense of like
I said yes before I asked you guys.
Yeah.
And also, by the way.
It's like, I'll eat this one if they for some reason say no.
Dante the fucking Don the other day on the rundown telling me we stole his guest.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, bro.
You can't steal the guest from the people who booked the guest.
There is a 0.0% chance
I stole your fucking guests, bro.
I promise you that.
We were told,
no, Nickelback doesn't have enough time
to do a video with you guys
because they got to go on the guest list.
I said, I don't know what that's about,
but they're doing the fucking video.
We're going to do the podcast
and do the video
and then they can go do
on the guest list afterwards,
but we're doing our shit first.
I assure you,
it was our fucking guest.
But you know what?
That's also such a thing.
They said to us, and Glennie Balls proves it.
They said, Nickelback doesn't have enough time to do all of it.
And then we sit with Nickelback.
Nickelback has plenty of time, and they were going to do all of it because they're cool.
And I understand it's their people.
It's their job to say, we have a hard out.
We've got to go here.
We've got to go there.
But Nickelback themselves were like, yeah, we'll do the video and then we'll do the podcast.
Whatever.
And then we'll let Glennard Balls on stage at a fucking at Foxwoods.
And you can sing Rockstar with this.
And Mean Fights were talking like they're going to bring Glennie out, but it'll be like at the end.
Like you'll sing the song.
You can't sing.
Like the fans want to hear.
They want to hear Nickelback sing.
They don't know who Glennie is.
They want to hear Nickelback sing.
They'll sing it, and then they'll do an extra encore,
like an extra chorus, and they'll just kind of go long and let Glennie sing and rock out.
Not only did that not happen,
not only did he start the song off,
he got a full-blown introduction,
like stop the show.
Ladies and gentlemen, this next guest, bring him out.
Show him off.
Parade him around.
Like it was like Bono from U2 is a surprise guest.
Here he is.
And it was Glenard Balls.
And to Glennie's credit, he just fucking went up there.
He's got the point going.
Yeah, he went there and ripped it.
And he just ripped it.
And I said to him, I was like, man, you crushed it.
Like, you weren't even nervous.
And he goes, oh, my God, I was absolutely fucking petrified.
I was shitting my pants, which makes it even better.
Like, I could see a point where I could see a scenario where Glennie has reached some sort of Glennie nirvana where he's just not even nervous about anything anymore because he's like my life is just a joke yeah but it's actually more impressive that he was nervous and still just got out there
and fucking did it uh and at what point do you have to start to think that Glennie Ball sold
his soul to the devil well pft brought the point that Glennie might just start thinking he's a god
where why would you not he's like he's like Everything I want just happens Like I manifest the dream life
How does like
Do like
Almost like the
Is it my powers?
My hands?
That's his name
I always forget his name
The comedian
Hamilton Burress
Hannibal Burress
Hannibal Burress
With the meme of him looking at his hands
Like how do I do this?
Glennie has to look at himself in the mirror every day
Like how does this happen?
Did Glennie collect like the infinity stones?
What's going on here?
We almost could write a movie around him.
Like Good Luck Chuck.
You date him and then he's magical or something.
Glennie Balls is this magical being that everything he wants comes true.
Maybe he's just Forrest Gump of podcasting.
Yeah.
Into the most iconic moments.
Yes, he's the Forrest Gump of podcasting. Yeah. Into like the most iconic moment. Yes.
He's the Forrest Gump.
I call Pat the Forrest Gump of,
of no.
What,
who did I call it recently?
I called somebody the Forrest Gump of something.
I don't remember who or what,
but Glennie is,
Glennie's just the Forrest Gump.
Maybe Glennie has,
you ever think that maybe Glennie has a genie and,
and he's two wishes down.
He's got one left.
What would Glennie wish for?
Right. Glennie would wishie wish for, right?
Glennie would wish for, first off, like, naked girls.
Not even, like, Glennie wouldn't even be wishing for sex or anything.
He would just wish for naked girls, and that's what he's got.
Number two, he loves music.
I bet the wish was, like, get me on stage with Nickelback
and the Genie with Billy Joel, and the Genie was like, hang on.
I can only do so much.
And now he's got his third and final wish.
I don't know what it's going to be.
Maybe a sports championship or something is coming.
Look, I mean, he goes the whole fucking thing.
That is crazy.
Crazy.
It's crazy.
Lenny Paul's, man.
Don't ever stop.
And he gets to also, like, you know, the real way he pays his bills is by, you know, eating ice cream with uneven nipples.
You know?
I bet you there are guys and girls at home
who want to work for Barstool
who just motherfuck Lenny under their breath all day, every day.
We did it with yesterday's podcast
when we talked to Pat about how you just need one thing,
and Nick was talking about it earlier.
Lenny was just fast.
He was fast for a fat guy.
He was deceptively fast for a bigger guy.
But you know what?
That was it.
He's also just...
That was it.
And now he's on stage with Nickelback.
But that's what it took to get in the door.
And then once he was in the door,
he was exceptionally gracious for...
He knew exactly what was up.
Glennie's never going to kick down the door and demand more money.
You know what I mean?
He's like, I'm just happy to be here.
And it very much translates and it's always just like thank you and thanks.
Wasn't Rhea hired as the intern to teach Glennie how to be an intern?
It's unbelievable in both of them.
And he just is very
You know he's like I'm the big guy
I wear Hawaiian shirts and shorts
I
I like music and I like
Boobs you know
Very simple man
And he just crushes life now
I don't even know I think Lenny still lives at home
Oh yeah
He's gotta move out. He's got to.
He's got to move out one day.
I guarantee.
I would be.
I would be.
You think he'll ever move out?
I would guess Glennie doesn't.
Do you think Glennie Bowles will get married soon?
Like some classic Italian dude.
Yeah, he'll stay with his mom forever.
I'll go to my mom.
I'll go to the wife.
Right to his wife.
Yeah.
Glennie's still pretty young, right?
Yeah, I think so.
I think he's like 24, 25.
No, he keeps 24.
No, I was going to say 27.
He's got to be close to his wife.
How old's Rhea?
They're the same age.
Oh, good point.
Are they?
Yeah.
I would guess Rhea's 24, 25, yeah.
There's no way he's 24.
He's at least 25.
If he's 24, I'm jumping off a bridge.
He's been here longer than six years, and we couldn't have had him if he was under 18.
Yeah, yeah.
So we've been in New York, what, seven years?
We've been in New York for seven, 15.
He was like right in the beginning.
But it's probably not further than that.
No.
God bless Glyndard Balls.
The man who just knows how to float through life right.
He really is the Forrest Gump of this joint.
Yeah, he's 26.
26, okay.
That makes you feel a little bit better.
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We got – we'll do –
I got something I got to show you.
Okay.
So we got – we got – go back on the show.
We'll do some One Minute Man and, yeah yeah what do you got here this is from this is
from friday night i think what was friday night like nothing i this is just okay this is just a
picture of what happened to me friday oh god i guess you did not make it to nickelback i did not
i didn't go to Nickelback
I didn't
Like this isn't even like a drunk thing
This is just like
This is just a despicable
This is just
I fell asleep in my bed with ice cream
This is
And it melted
This is
This is
This is
This is
Thank God
You don't share a bed anymore
Like this is
This is I shit myself
Yeah oh yeah This is I shit myself.
Yeah, oh yeah.
This is I shit myself bed big time.
If you were in the hotel, you would have had to strip the streets, cheat yourself, or leave a note like you used to.
One of the most depressing part of it all?
The fork.
It is.
I was eating with a fork.
Fork.
The fucking fork.
The fork is just sitting there like just.
Oh my God.
What do you got to do? You got no spoons. It's pretty pretty reasonable would happen I fell asleep with a carton ice cream, bro
So you are you're laying in bed watch TV yeah, okay, so you are by the way, I still not change the sheets
So you're propped up with toes.
Monday.
It's Monday.
Wait, Adam and Friday, and you haven't changed the sheets?
I've just been sleeping on the couch.
Oh, okay.
I thought you were just sleeping on top of me.
No, no, no, no.
I was like, come on.
Because I don't even know how to clean that.
Honestly, I would turn the cameras off, and I'd have a talk.
We've got problems if you're sleeping literally in your own filth.
This is like hoarder behavior.
I don't think I can put that in the washer.
I think I just have to get new sheets.
Well, that's fine, but why can't you put that in the washer?
I just don't think, I think it's too messy.
It's like when you've got to lose a couple pounds to go to the gym.
Like, pre-wash.
That's too messy to put in the washer.
You'd have to hand wash that to then put it in.
You can definitely put that in the washer, but I also understand the idea of just like, start over.
So you're laying there.
But I also don't know how to find it.
That was in my fucking pocket sheets.
Oh, well, then you can't throw them out.
I know.
Although clearly you're not really using them.
The pockets.
The candy goes in the pocket.
Bro, you can put the –
What am I going to put in my candy if I put the ice cream in the pockets?
There's candy and weed in the pockets.
You can put those in the washer.
I don't know, man.
So you're laying on your bed.
I'm assuming a couple pillows behind you propped up.
Tons of pillows.
Way too many pillows.
But you're sitting upright.
Upright.
45 degrees, let's say.
And you are eating your ice cream with a fork.
I know.
Now, first of all.
So depressing.
That is the most depressing sentence ever. I have an important question. Eating ice cream with a fork. Now, first of all. So depressing. That is the most depressing sentence ever.
I have an important question.
Eating ice cream with a fork.
You know, we've all been there, though.
You're scraping the bottom of the barrel.
We've all been there before, though.
Yeah, yeah.
As long as it's not.
I'm there more often than a regular person.
But, yeah.
As long as it's not too melty, you're fine.
Yeah, right.
It's a forkable food.
Actually, sometimes it's even better.
Yeah, because you can.
Yeah, you can.
As I'm saying these things,
I'm like,
maybe I'm not the best person
to be questioning you here.
Maybe we need someone
with a bit higher standards.
What size ice cream?
Full Ben & Jerry's pint.
Pint.
Yeah.
I'm disappointed
there was even anything
left to melt,
first of all.
I just fell asleep.
Okay,
so that's my question.
So you are,
you're holding it
and you're eating? Yeah. And then you decide to like, first of all. I just fell asleep. Okay, so that's my question. So you are holding it and you're eating? Yeah.
And then you decide to like
you fall asleep with it in your hand?
I guess so.
I just run until the wheels fall off. That's how I fall asleep
every night. I just pass out.
So you fall asleep with it in your hand and then it tips over.
Were you covered in chocolate?
Oh yeah.
In fact, could I get
a new Shea Clancy sweatshirt?
If you don't mind.
Glad you brought that up.
Yeah, clothes were covered.
This way or, like, into your crotch or into your chest?
Into, like, my chest area.
Down your neck?
It was all, like, the chest, stomach, butt, and then in the lap of my, this wet
pants.
In your dick.
Yeah.
Did you have to wash your dick in balls of ice cream?
No.
No.
No.
No, there was some remnants on my face, some on my hands, and some on my feet, interestingly
enough.
I don't know how it got there.
How did that happen?
I don't know.
That's a true mystery.
I mean it wasn't much but I was sockless laying on the couch later in the day and was like
huh.
Did you give it a lick?
How did it get on your feet?
I don't know.
I really don't know.
You sure it was ice cream?
Yeah.
Pretty sure.
Huh. I don't know what else it was ice cream? Yeah Pretty sure Huh I don't know what else
So walk me through
I'm guessing
I'm guessing what happened
Is like
I just
Sober
I was like
Sober or high?
I wasn't
I wasn't sober
Were you drunk?
I wasn't
I was
Yeah I was drunk
Were you high?
I was not high no
Okay
But like
I'm guessing like
I just kind of like got up
Like cause I
I was like
Out of it
It was one of those
Yeah okay
So walk me through
I didn't wake up in the morning.
It was like I felt the wetness, and that woke me up.
At what time were we talking?
I didn't even look at the clock, but yeah.
Let's call it 4 a.m.
So you wake up like, and you're like, what do you say and do?
Do you go like, oh, fuck.
You've got to be fucking kidding me.
You've got to get it together, fuck. You got to be fucking kidding me. Okay. You got to get it together, John.
So you do at least acknowledge that this is bad.
Oh, you know how I bet I got the fucking stuff on my feet?
When I took my pants off.
I bet just a little bit.
Sure.
That makes sense.
That makes sense.
So then you are naked, chest covered in ice cream, bed covered in ice cream.
Everything but the kitchen sink, which I don't even really like.
It's just it was the only kind of.
Available one.
Yeah.
And you hopped in the shower.
No.
Please tell me you hopped in the shower.
Like right then and there.
No.
No.
You went back to sleep.
Oh, no, no.
That makes sense.
You went back.
That's okay.
I went to the couch.
I went to sleep.
But then you showered in the morning.
Showered in the afternoon.
How many hours were you awake covered in ice cream?
No, I mean, I took all the clothes off.
And I really didn't get much on my body.
It didn't, like, seep into your body?
No, no, no.
So I had, like, I said, I had a little mark right here.
I had, like, a little on my hand and a little on my foot.
I want, like, a forensics person to come in here and be like,
that's not possible, sir.
We know you're lying.
I'll tell you this.
The chocolate stain was still on my face while I was watching college football.
Like, we went past noon, that's for sure Nobody better than you
Went from 4am till
Let's say probably 1.30
What do you think is your lowest
Moment in that
Realm
That's like a low moment but it's not like a
like a funny low moment it doesn't get like what's your lowest like you shit yourself in bed
i don't think of any of these as low moment like bro like not for a single second was i like
i i was like ah fuck yeah no but like that's what I mean. This is not like a, oh, my God, my life is bad low moment.
No.
Like a low moment that would make a prissy, preppy girl be like,
oh, my God, this guy's a fucking animal.
I mean, that's pretty up there.
That's my ask.
I mean, this is a good one.
That week in Miami where you just kept shit in your pants
because of the couscous or something.
That wasn't Miami. That was early quarantine lockdown. You told the story when we were in Miami. you just kept shit in your pants because of the couscous or something. That wasn't Miami.
That was early quarantine lockdown.
You told the story when we were in Miami.
I remember that.
Wait, so maybe it was pre-lockdown then.
Because we were in Miami, Miami was pre-lockdown.
Yeah, it was right before.
Yeah, that was a tough one.
What's your lowest?
Besides fucking being in your underwear in the lobby.
I think I said this once.
Just eating a raw burger.
Like I cooked a burger, realized the stove was never on,
and then I just was in the dark.
You definitely have never said that.
And then I ate the burger, and then I turned the lights on,
and I realized that the burger was just...
You are such a fucking mimbo.
He's so dumb.
Like just like, oh, the burger wasn't cooking.
I was like, why is it so like... There's so much Like just like Oh the burger wasn't cooking I was like why is it so like
There's so much blood coming out
Oh my god
That is so fucking
Like
It's just like
It is definitely like
On occasion when I like
I get food poisoning
And then I don't think I want you to go to like a gastroenterologist.
What the fuck is that's called?
It's not food poisoning.
People don't get food poisoning at the frequency.
It's like maybe the food you ate is causing a reaction that feels like poison.
Food poisoning is like a rarity, a really big rarity.
I want to eat like I do.
Because you just eat so much shit?
I think so.
I mean, when you do things like you eat like Monday sushi
and then it's left over on a Friday and you still eat it,
like that is food poisoning.
But like you're good for like two, three times a month,
but most people get it like two, three times in their life.
Yeah.
Like I don't think I've ever had food poisoning once.
I guess maybe.
I mean, I eat food that makes me poop and puke.
I think in that case, you are poisoning yourself.
I describe that as food poisoning.
Yeah.
I feel weak.
It makes me.
But like it's not the food's fault.
Let's put it that way.
No.
That's the difference.
You're the poison.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's put it that way. No. That's the difference. You're the poison. Yeah.
Yeah.
I did yesterday.
Why do you look so nice?
What are you doing today?
Are you going out somewhere afterwards?
Doesn't she look...
She looks like...
No?
Did I make that up?
You look a little put together.
Yeah, like, did you do your makeup and shit?
I did.
For a reason?
Because I...
You're going out on Friday after work?
What?
Oh, sorry.
I don't know.
I just, like, kind of have been looking gross.
So I've, like, at least...
You guys have been calling me sweaty.
So I was just going to remind them that I'm a little bit...
I noticed she's wearing quite a baggy t-shirt today.
What's your lowest moment?
Do girls have these?
I don't think I've had a lowest moment.
Excuse me.
I feel like girls' lowest moments are usually to do with dudes.
Where it's like, I actually went back and fucked him again.
I can't believe it.
Or something like that, you know?
Yeah.
You go back to an ex.
Guys have those moments.
Yeah, but we don't think of them as low.
We're just like, yeah, whatever.
I fucked her.
Whereas girls are like, oh, I can't believe I fucked him.
Here's the thing.
When a guy goes back and fucks a girl he shouldn't it's a low point um but usually
it's a high point in terms of like but yeah she's bad you know what i mean yeah it's like it's a low
point like mentally and like emotionally and maturity maturity wise but you also it's not low
like it's like well yeah but she's fucking she's a savage in bed, so cool.
You know what I mean?
Like, you can reconcile those things by being like, but.
Whereas girls don't even get like that.
They're just like, ah, I actually went back to him.
No, but there's some who have been like, he was not cute.
Like, that was.
Like, you got nothing out of it.
What?
Like, you get.
No, I'm like.
I love when Slick to the Crack.
Not like that at all. of it what like you get like i would say that girls girls usually like guys will always kind of get satisfaction out of sex whereas girls will like go home with a guy they shouldn't
an ex they shouldn't a guy they shouldn't be talking to a guy that's beneath them as far as like looks and then they're not even gonna like get it's
not even gonna be good for them yeah whereas a guy can be like oh my god like this girl is you
know she threw a brick through my window last week and i can't believe like i should never talk
to her again and i'm back in the bedroom with her but it's also like but also she's doing that thing
down there i mean so girls girls just have no reason other than like, I don't even know what they're doing.
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Dude, what you saying, it slips through the cracks, reminded me of, I was watching Veep
this morning, like a line that I'd never caught before is, it's the episode when they
go to Gary's 40th birthday party at his house in Alabama, and Selina
Meyer is getting shown the room she's staying in, and there's a baby crib in it.
And she's like, oh, I didn't realize you kept Gary's crib.
And the dad is like, it's actually his brother Bruce's.
He was stillborn.
He died. And later Selina Meyer whispers to Gary,
imagine if I kept a crib for all the babies that died inside me.
I could open a pottery barn.
Selina Meyer goes hard, bro.
Did you start watching it?
You said you were going to watch it, right?
Yeah, but I've been watching it.
You've got to get into it.
It's so good.
Veep is...
Imagine if I empty kid.
Veep is actually...
You know what the saddest thing about Veep is?
There's a whole swath of people who probably like good comedy
who won't watch it out of politics.
And that's so fucking stupid.
You think so?
I do think so.
But they always make a point.
They never say if it's Republican or Democrat.
I know, but...
So you can always, if you're watching,
that's the other one.
That is true, but I do think Hollywood skews liberal.
And then when a lot of this shit started to come true
after the fact from Republicans,
it retroactively makes it look like it's Republican.
But it's like, no, at the time,
we were just fucking writing it.
Dude, Jonah Ryan, when he's running for president,
is like, it's just what happened.
Dude, he was like...
It's exactly the truth.
It was 100%.
I'm misremembering what the years were.
I think it was pre-Trump.
I think it was before.
It was just like literally...
Dude, remember one of his presidential platforms
is going to ban math because it's Arabic numbers.
Yo, speaking of, so... When did the movie end?
2019.
Oh, okay.
So it was post.
So that was probably...
And Joan of Arc was later, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was like the second last season, I think.
I also, I've been watching, re-watching Always Sunny, and I just got to the, are we in America?
Oh, the best.
The way she goes, are we in America?
That is so funny.
That's a girl's love moment,
when you end up in a fucking Vietnamese.
Yeah.
Trump made his announcement, I thought,
like to a little fanfare, and then he got re- This is where I thought, to little fanfare.
And then he got – this is where I still like a little bit of Trump.
He got the big reinstated for Twitter and he's like, no, I'm good.
Oh, really?
He hasn't tweeted yet.
He goes, why would I do that?
I love that reaction.
I mean, it's because he's on Truth Social and doing all that shit.
I was going to say, also, legally he can.
He has to wait six hours after he posts something on Truth to post it over.
Why is that?
He has so much money tied in with that, I guess.
Interesting.
But he never will.
I shouldn't say never because I do think if he really is going to try to make a run,
and it sounds like he is because he announced it,
I do think Twitter is such a useful tool for him.
But to be like, it's like playing, it's like negging somebody. Like you think you want me so bad and then it's like, okay, you can have me.
It's like, ah, no, nevermind.
Fucking unbelievable. find it extremely funny that Elon Musk puts up a poll for his followers
to determine whether Donald
Trump should be reinstated or not
and thinks it is
an example
of actual democracy.
Now, to be fair, it got 12 million.
How many followers does Elon Musk have?
Oh, shit. Okay. I didn't know he had it like that.
So I was going to say he has $118 million.
I didn't know it was even close to that.
I guess that makes sense.
If it were me on day one, everyone would follow me like Tom on MySpace.
Yeah, yeah.
I think getting 18 million votes, did it say?
Yeah.
I think he took it down.
15 million.
15 million.
That's got to be like the biggest poll.
134 million saw the poll.
So I guess that is almost like a fucking democracy, though, in a way.
Like that's a big fucking number.
I did like the full quote, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The full quote was like, everyone's a fucking idiot.
Right.
He said.
The voice of people, the voice of God is what it translates to.
And then it says like, but make sure that the voice of the people don't like fuck it up. Yeah, yeah. That's like the Jack of people the voice of God is what it translates to but make sure the voice of the people don't like fuck it up
yeah yeah
that's like the
the jack of all trades
quote
the end of it
what is it
god I hate that
I hate that meme bro
that meme sucks
I don't really get it
I guess it's supposed to be
like a
like a
a temptation
yeah cause it's like
I think that's Jesus
and he's
resisting the temptation
of
yeah
so it's like people I think that's Jesus, and he's resisting the temptation of... Yeah, so it's like people...
Yeah, the cheeks.
You think that JC was horny?
You think that he actually...
I was clapping Mary Magdalene, yeah.
Which, by the way, I learned when Japs and I were doing partial confessions.
Do you know that it's only Catholicism that thinks Mary Magdalene was a whore?
Yeah.
Yeah, because they needed to fucking start the church.
Yeah.
But everything else in Christianity, they don't think.
No, it was just like Jesus' friend.
And we're like, nah, it was a whore.
She's a literal whore.
St. Peter was a real dirtbag.
That was the start of just how we treat women.
Yeah, for real.
Do people think thatesus was paying for it
uh no or the story is that he wasn't with her at all really and that she was just a whore was
jesus gay probably that's hilarious that is a real fucking funny honestly think about it like
never settled down and got married never had kids if you're 33 years old and you look like he looked and shit
and you don't have a family or kids, people start to go,
Particularly back in the day.
You're 33 and you're 50-something.
Jesus was probably just a gay ball.
Preaching on Good Friday in the last words of Jesus
as he was being executed makes great spiritual demands on the preacher.
I don't know what this is all about.
Didn't he actually secretly have a kid?
Wasn't that, I think that's what angels and demons.
That's what the Da Vinci Code is.
Yeah, that Mary Magdalene is the mother of his children.
We talked about it on Barstool Confessions.
He had brothers.
Just being Jesus' fucking brother.
He had brothers?
Yeah.
It's just like whoever's gospel, whoever tells the story.
Yeah, if they didn't pick it to be canonical, they're just like, ah gospel, whoever tells the story. Yeah.
It's crazy.
If they didn't pick it to be canonical, they're just like,
oh, we'll throw this one away.
But yeah, he had like a few brothers.
You just casually drop canonical on us?
Well, that's nerd shit.
That's what –
It's canon.
It's talking about canon with Star Wars on it.
That's where it comes from, though.
Yeah.
But that's – I remember Chaps saying it.
That's why I dropped it.
I did try to do Andor.
I'm going to try again, but I can't do, speaking of Star Wars, just the pew-pews.
I have not.
Oh, the pew-pews.
I have not tried yet.
I was about to try, and then you set me off with the pew-pews.
I have not done that.
I'm trying 1899 is the show.
No, no, no, no.
That's funny you say that.
Yeah, because that's 1896 or something.
What the fuck?
1899.
There's another one in 1923, right?
Or something like that?
1925?
1917.
1917 is the movie.
You knew that.
Oh.
Yeah, you knew that.
No, but there's another...
There's another...
Yeah, Yellowstone has one called like 1896 or something.
But no, there's another one like 19-something.
Yes.
Coming out?
Yeah.
They're just naming.
I think Harrison Ford's in it.
No fucking names anymore?
We're just saying the year that the show's happening in?
Yeah, I think.
I'm double checking right now.
Bro, nothing has ever jumped the shark more than the Yellowstone franchise.
No, it's 1923.
There's 1883 and there's 1923.
Yeah.
Taylor Sheridan.
Stop, bro.
It's Taylor Sheridan?
Yeah.
I mean, I guess you can't blame him.
Like if – I think Peacock TV – or no, Paramount TV just came to him and said, like, you are Paramount TV.
Yeah, go.
You know?
He does Tulsa King, which is a new Stallone one.
I don't know if he writes that.
He writes Yellowstone just now.
Well, I think that's the problem.
Is that why Yellowstone sucks now?
It's because he had to start writing 1893 and 1923.
And the other show.
What's the mayor one?
That totally bombed.
Mayor of Easttown?
Mayor of Easttown?
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, mayor.
But it also had Coach Taylor in it.
Which was the biggest fucking bait and switch of all time.
If you haven't watched that show, Coach Taylor gets killed in the first episode.
Awful.
He was in all the trailers.
It was a big thing.
The first episode, he gets shot in the head.
That's a big time snake.
What the fuck is that?
That and fucking our boy Ryan Phillippe in that other show in Montana.
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this holiday season that's heydude.com hey dude good to go to use code barcel for 15 off at hey dude.com i mean um but um 1899
is from the creators of dark oh and it's a um it's a lot of the same actors too right uh there's a
at least one main one and i'm sure there's a couple of sprinkled in um it there's a it's like
a bermuda triangle type show i think i'm only on like two and a half episodes. I keep falling asleep.
Unfortunately, I do not think it's on the level.
No ice cream.
I finished it.
I do drink my ice cream, though.
Can I tell you my fat move?
I think this is definitely a fat move.
I microwave my ice cream.
Oh, hell yeah.
Yeah?
Okay.
Every time.
Okay.
Good.
You guys are maniacs.
Well, there is no denying.
I think this depends on your freezer and whatnot.
Eating like ice cold, got to like dig your fork in ice cream has far less flavor.
I think that is burning my calories.
Huh?
I think that is burning my calories.
You're earning it.
Yeah.
I put a pint in for 30 seconds.
I put a quart in for a minute.
The closer ice cream is to yogurt, that's the better it is.
Are you putting in for a minute?
A quart. Like a big one.
That seems like it would straight up melt.
You would think. It doesn't.
And it is so good, dude.
It's so good. That's when you can't
use a fork, though. If you put ice
in the microwave, it does not melt. I wonder if ice cream
is a similar thing.
That's why you put it in for so long.
I don't get the ice thing, and I never will.
And there's going to be people who explain it to me,
and they're going to just use the terms.
I'm like, that's not explaining it to me.
It's like when you say buoyancy or lift.
That doesn't explain the boat or the plane, you fucking assholes.
While we're complaining about things, I...
As if we need a segue.
Yeah. This is what the show has been for 10 years. While we're complaining about things, I – As if we need a segue.
Yeah.
As if that's what the show has been for 10 years.
We should just call it complaining about things.
Francis, I don't know if it went viral, but a pretty popular story the other day that John Mayer replied to.
Where it was – Francis went into the Delta Lounge.
He was talking about how he made a salad that probably saved him $20. he went and he can't take food out of delta lounge so he did like he had one cup
with lettuce in it one cup with chicken in it and then he went and just made his own salad um
but it made me think of a take i've been he dm'd him too yeah wow um john mayer's a wild one on
social the uh it made me think of a take that i've been planning meaning to get out there Yeah. Wow. John Mayer is a wild one on social.
It made me think of a take that I've been planning, meaning to get out there.
I don't understand the obsession with the Delta Lounge.
I go in it.
I am a Delta Lounge member.
I don't think it's all.
I don't even understand.
Is it a meme or do people actually like it that much?
I don't find it that comfortable.
It probably started fire. The food is not good.
Like anything else.
The food's bad.
I mean, it's not bad, but it's not great.
I've never been in one.
There's really, like, it's usually,
sometimes they're really small
and it sucks to find a place to sit.
You know, the free beer or two you get is nice.
It would be one thing, I guess,
if I had, like, a 14-hour layover.
But usually if I just have a half hour,
I'll go to fucking Chili's
It looks exactly like
A bar
Like you sit at a bar
I do not get the obsession with Delta Lounge
Do we have it at the Skycar store
Or do you have to have it personally
I have it personally
I just have an American Express car
I feel like one time I did though
Maybe I was with you
I think I went as a guest of somebody I don't do I've ever gone. I feel like one time I did, though. Maybe I was with you. I think I went as a guest of somebody.
I don't know how.
I don't do any of these things.
I can't really think of another example.
But if there's a thing, it's like, we're just at the airport.
Again, if it was 15 hours, different story.
But even then, it's not particularly comfortable.
I'm just going to go to Buffalo Wild Wings, and it's going to be fine.
I'm this way about, do you guys freak out about credit card points?
I feel like you need to spend like $10,000 to get $200 back.
Yeah.
Well, the thing about it, you should.
You really should.
I am a child.
I just, I do debit for everything because I don't like having debt.
And all of a sudden it creeps up on me and it's like, shit, I have not been paying this off enough.
If you're really disciplined about it, you get the points,
and it's just free money at the end of the day.
You get cash back.
You get more points.
You get perks.
Do you say you use debit for everything?
Yeah.
You don't have a credit card?
I do.
I do.
I use my credit card for big expenses that American Express has great customer service,
at least allegedly.
Yeah, I was going to say, I've never heard that.
I've always heard that.
So it's like if you're buying a big piece of furniture. I guess I haven't really used it. Back when TVs used was gonna say, I've never, I always heard that. So it's like, if you're buying like a big piece of furniture,
I guess I haven't really used it.
Back when TVs used to be expensive,
I would like put it on that and if it broke or whatever,
AMX usually goes to bat for you and they'll be like,
we'll take care of the whole thing.
But like,
I'll,
for the most part,
I like to just,
I like to know I'll get out of control with the credit.
I just want to be like,
take the money and it's gone.
I also don't do expenses and shit.
I'm just...
I want someone to diagnose me.
I also didn't do the insurance thing.
Oh yeah, that's gone.
What is that? Open enrollment?
No, no, no. I mean, what is this
about us? I want someone to diagnose
us. I guarantee this. Laziness?
It's not though.
Depression.
But I don't get that when they say like like a sign of like not being able to do little things
is depression because it's not like i'm sitting on my couch like i'm gonna kill myself i can't
take out the garbage it's just like i don't want to do that yeah i guess it's just that you're so
imbalanced that you can't even you don't have a zest for life yeah i do exactly what i need to do
every day no but but think about it.
I would say we go on this tour.
We go on stage.
We have fans.
We do have excitement.
It's not like we just live this dreary life.
I do, as much as we complain about it.
It's like when we get in the studio and the mic's around,
if we were truly, deeply depressed,
I don't know if we could do some of this stuff. You know what mean i think that's uh does that not it's not true no no because
i just feel like i'm just like i don't want to take the trash out because it's cold out i don't
go outside right now you know that's yeah no so it's not always deeper it's not always deep but
it's gotta be because i can't do anything yeah yeah and you're i mean you're describing depression
yeah i love when i do this it's depression but. I mean, you're describing depression. Yeah.
I love when I do this.
It's depression.
But I don't get why it's depression.
Sometimes I feel like we throw that word around too much.
I agree with that.
You know?
I definitely agree with that. No, that's laziness.
And that laziness comes from this.
But, like, I just feel like you talk to a real depressed person.
It's like, oh, you have trouble doing the dishes.
Like, I cut myself at night and I almost die.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, but also you're such an extreme example.
Yeah, there's troubles to this shit.
It's like some people are just sick.
Some people have fucking stage four cancer.
It is like a different thing.
I definitely have apparently ADHD.
I did one of those put your fingers down
if you have these things for ADHD.
And it was like, oh, brother.
Let me see.
I just, you know, I'm on fucking reels
like scrolling through and somebody did it.
Let me see if I can find it.
I think I sent it in my DMs.
It was like, oh, yep, yep, yep, yep.
I don't think I made ADHD
because whenever I do Adderall, it fucks me up.
Like, it will, if I take Adderall,
I did recently for the first time in forever
like it ruined my week
put a finger down
if you leave things
half open
like cabinets
or drawers
or doors
put a finger down
if you get on food kicks
where you want to eat
the same thing
like over and over again
definitely
put a finger down
if sometimes
you just don't eat
put a finger down
if you have so many
passions and hobbies
that you are all about
and then one day
you just drop that thing like Andy dropped Woody in Toy Story put a finger down if you have so many passions and hobbies that you are all about, and then one day you just drop that thing like Andy dropped Woody in Toy Story.
Put a finger down if you interrupt people in conversations.
Put a finger down if you also need to relate to people in conversations so people think you're making it about yourself.
Maybe.
Put a finger down if you can't do things like your laundry or your dishes or just opening your mail or paying your bills.
Put a finger down if you forget something 10 seconds after it happened
unless it's right in front of you.
Put a finger down if you have doom piles.
Put a finger down if changes in your day or routine
will ruin you monumentally and possibly into a giant rage.
Bro, 9 for 10.
I was pretty good.
I think I'm all set.
The only thing I had was, I don't even remember it.
But that was one of them.
I had
everything. Interrupting,
trying to make it, it sounds like I'm making it about
me, but it's just that I'm trying to relate to you.
I have piles of shit
in my house. I forget things.
I eat, I go on kicks, but
sometimes I don't eat at all. I'll be like, oh, I haven't
eaten since dinner yesterday. I have ADHD. I guess I'll do on kicks, but sometimes I don't eat at all. Like, I'll be like, oh, I haven't eaten since dinner yesterday.
I have ADHD.
I guess I'll do that sometimes.
But I was diagnosed with ADHD back in the day when they were just giving it to everybody.
I think I missed that because otherwise I think I would have had ADHD.
Oh, yeah, I had Adderall.
I didn't have an prescription in college.
Bro, I've never.
I mean, I just abused it.
I didn't wake up and take my medicine.
So ADHD.
I just fucking crushed it up and banged it.
Yeah, ADHD.
Is Adderall for ADHD?
Yeah, or ADD or whatever the fuck it's called, yeah.
And so that hyper-focused shit would fix those things for me?
I don't fucking think so, man.
Yeah, I don't get how Adderall is supposed to work.
No idea.
The person who has it makes me talk a lot.
It's just an amphetamine to me.
Yeah.
So I would be doing all those things, but blah, blah, blah.
I think people say it's supposed to have the opposite effect if you have it or something like that.
Oh, okay.
But I don't think that's true.
I've never met anyone who's like, yeah, slow down on my Adderall.
Adderall zones me out.
Bro, I went 9 for 10 on that, and I was like, oh, my God, I've got ADHD.
I think I was just like one of the last generations that was just like, I don't know, that kid's weird.
Instead of, like, getting him to a doctor, he's, you know, diagnosed.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
I mean, I went knowing, like, I'm just going to lie and say all this stuff.
To get the Adderall?
To get Adderall.
You guys do Adderall?
Like a drug abuser does.
My roommate.
He's going to lie to get the script from the doctor.
My roommate has severe ADHD, and he has Adderall.
I'll take it every once in a while.
But for real he has it?
No, for real.
Ever since he was a kid, had to get him on it.
And you can tell when he's not on his Adderall because you've got to talk him down.
Like, dude, we're not starting a company tonight.
When he's on it, he slows down.
When he's on it, he's just focused, can talk in the conversation with that.
But when he's not on it, it's like, dude, we have these big plans.
He's just all over the place.
We're building something.
So that is probably what they mean when they say, you're probably like, uh, uh, uh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And instead, it just is like, I can slow down and talk about one thing at a time.
Which is why, when I take Adderall, I just masturbate for three hours.
Hyper-focus.
I clean my room
and I turn it off
I've never done
do your
does your generation
like in general
do it a lot
like I know
everybody's not
yeah
still
I wasn't sure
if that's true
because like
I feel like
my age group
I don't think
really is
I think we were like
the last
like right on the edge
because I feel like
your age group does a lot right none of my friends do I don't think really is. I think we were like the last, like right on the edge because I feel like your age group does a lot, right?
None of my friends do.
I don't think so.
I mean, maybe we just don't abuse it anymore and they just quietly take their medicine.
Quietly take their medicine?
I don't know what –
I'm an adult.
I quietly do my drugs, okay?
But like maybe – I don't know.
I think –
Like what age group are the kids that grew up on like here's your Ritalin, here's your Adderall, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam?
I'm like, when I was in college, it was like everyone was walking around with a bag of Tic Tacs in their pocket.
Right.
Yeah, see, either I didn't have, like, that wasn't my time or I was, like, a nerd and didn't, like, know that was happening.
My thing was always, like, I don't want to do drugs to do school.
You want to do drugs to stay up at night?
Fine.
But the people who were, like, I got to write paper.
I want to, like, do these drugs. It's's like i don't know man i'm gonna poison my
body for the fun shit yeah like grow up and do cocaine like an adult yeah get a prescription
so you can do i did that all once to do a paper and i just almost bought a motorcycle on craigslist
yeah i don't trust myself on on it like i feel like I would I also don't like that feeling to me
I used to like it in college
I do not like it
I took one when I was over in London
because I had to stay up
and like
it was not a fun experience
I think my saving grace is I don't like
that feeling
and I definitely don't want to snort anything
I hate the idea of shit going on
my nose. Snort is fun.
That's why I do snuff.
Yeah, like when you guys peer pressure me into doing that, I do
it because it's fun. But I hate
doing it.
Shit up the nose just drives me crazy, but it's always a good time
with you guys.
Alright, we'll do some one minute man.
We'll do some voicemails and then we'll get into
We'll do, who's the interview again? No, let'sicemails. And then we'll get into – We'll do –
Who's the interview again?
No, go back.
Okay.
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Okay, first topic.
I think I might be the only person even giving this press
the New York Times hit piece on Dave.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, that went off with a whimper, huh?
I'm surprised we're even talking about it
because I didn't read it.
I started the first couple paragraphs, I'm surprised we're even talking about it because it was – I didn't read it. I don't ever read this.
I started the first couple paragraphs, and it's the same old –
he even made a joke that some girls deserve to be raped.
I'm like, here we go, size 6 skinny jeans.
So I just kind of fell off on that.
There was one paragraph that just had the headlines of the hits.
It just read three or four back, and it had nothing to do with the article,
and then just moved on to do with the article and
then just moved on and then the article just ended i think i'm not kidding it it didn't wrap up it
just ends i think they uh i think that this person who wrote it probably actually is has some shred
of like journalistic integrity and realized like there was no case for any of this shit yeah but
but she was he or she was pot committed
and was like, I got to do something here.
You know, like I got to put something out.
I think you realize there's no rape.
No, like any of the Me Too stuff isn't real.
And then I think they tried to go down the gambling road,
but like all of the accusations
were either very clearly humorous or satire or they came before we were purchased by Penn when we now have regulations.
Like right now, Barstool, if you say some of the words on the no-fly list, Dave, like he'll fire you.
He is so serious about that.
When people say like bet your house, bet the rent, bet your kids.
Oh, I'm down so bad.
I got to kill myself.
If you say the word bookie, any of that, like, Dave is the first one to be like, shut the fuck up.
So, and anything that even toes that line is also, like, if you read the next line of his tweet or whatever, or blog or whatever, is very, very humorous.
You know what I mean?
Like, just kidding.
Bet responsibly.
Whatever the fuck it is.
So, I think this is somebody who's just like, all right, let's go this way.
There's nothing there. All right, let's go this way. There's nothing there.
All right, let's go this way.
That's pretty weak too.
But I've been doing this for like six months and I want these clicks.
So I don't know.
Here you go.
But even like I almost felt like that they,
and I guess they didn't because it is like,
I think it is like the front page of their website.
But even on Sunday morning?
But that's when the news comes out.
That's the big paper.
Yeah, Sunday morning paper.
But it was part of like New York Times tweeted earlier in the day
that they were releasing four different pieces about gambling.
So it was in conjunction with three other pieces.
The funniest thing is his dad.
His dad.
Mr. Portnoy has a quote that says,
I wish that my son's gambling proclivities were exaggerated.
But I assure you, they are not.
He's a real life.
He's a legitimate degenerate.
It is so fucking unbelievably funny just to know that it came from his dad.
And it's just like it's from the cousin show.
Like I went and clicked on it. It's a clip from riggs is still on it is that old but it's also again it's like
that you know they talk about i didn't know that he filed for bankruptcy when he was a kid but like
clearly business-wise he did all right you know he's not he's not filing for bankruptcy now
he did it back when you know he was trying trying to fucking open up a business and it was struggling.
But did you send the screenshot of his dad?
Where did I see that?
Yeah.
It's in group chat with us three.
Oh, okay.
The way that that reads is just – yeah.
Anybody who thinks my son is exaggerating his gambling issues, I wish he was.
Believe me, he is a legitimate degenerate.
It's just like, dad, could you not please?
But again, that was probably, yeah, on the Cousins show.
You're trying to entertain and joke around and shit.
It's on the Cousins and also like that is a very nice tightened up version of like the rant that Mr.
I'm sure.
I'm sure it is. Those two sentences came a like the rant that Mr. I'm sure. I'm sure it is.
Those two sentences came a minute apart from each other.
I'm sure.
I will say this.
The tweet that Dave has, the screen recording of his DMs with the author.
Yeah.
Is the single most one sided.
Like, I absolutely bodied you.
Here's all the evidence you need to make your decision on.
Like you read this article.
You need to make a decision.
Like look at this first.
It's unbelievable how he just like step by step.
The amount of times she says eager.
Yeah.
And he says eager back to her.
I thought you were eager.
I'm eager.
I thought you were eager.
If you're eager, you would do this.
I thought you said you were eager.
Why aren't you eager?
But it's just like if you are all about the truth, sit down we'll talk about it we'll film it everybody has the facts
if you say no to that then how can you say that you're a legitimate like looking for the truth
yeah that's it right i mean like there'd be no reason you'd be opposed to this unless you were
like fuck that's gonna screw up this this and the other thing 100 i mean well it was like i think
she said like we would not accept those terms
when it was filming. I do get them being like,
we're not coming to Miami.
But I get him being like,
I'm not coming to you.
The rest of it was all very normal.
It made sense.
Wait, they're going to Miami?
But that's just because he's trying to evade taxes.
How about we meet in Jersey?
I just can't set foot in New York
I can get him being like
You guys are trying to take me down
I'm not gonna fly to you
But you
You know
She probably
Is it a guy or a girl
I can't remember
Girl
Emily Steele
I can't
You know
She's probably
Has traveled all over
For interviews
Yeah right
So it's like
You've been
You've been doing this research
For a fucking year
It seems like
It is
And now the
The person You're doing it on Is like, let's do an interview.
And you say no to that?
That's crazy.
And you blame travel?
You blame anything.
That's fucking crazy.
So I can see him being like, I'm not coming to you.
Also, Miami is a day trip.
That's not a bad flight.
It's not like it's that far.
But the main thing is they said you can do audio and not video. And it's like, so you're agreeing to half of but, but the main thing is they said, you know, we'll, you can do audio and not video.
And it's like,
so you're agreeing to half of this,
but not the full thing because you know how you,
you know,
you're going to have three people in the room with you and you'd be able to
look at your notes and dah,
dah,
dah,
you know?
And it's like,
there's,
I just don't get the,
like if you're,
if you're serious about this,
I think you'd be like,
oh,
like,
nevermind.
There's nothing here.
Yeah.
And I get like the business insider
being like,
oh,
who fucking cares?
Let's go get our clicks.
But the New York Times,
you'd be like,
I'm a,
and I don't know,
you can debate whether the New York Times
is a real,
you know,
true publication of journalism integrity anymore
because what is anymore?
But like,
if you're a New York Times writer
and you're just like,
yeah,
there's
nothing really here but fuck it and you want people to like why like print journalism is dying
whatever it's like you just spent nine months researching an article and like i get i get
there are big stories that like do need that kind of thing i don't think this is that one i think
somewhere online an editor should have been like there's nothing here this has no teeth nothing
find a new story right but i i guess they're probably just like, you know, everybody sees that barstool.
The name barstool gets your clicks up like 9,000%.
But I don't think it did in this case.
I was going to say, somehow.
Maybe I have, you know, my timeline and my For You page in real life and on the apps,
like what I look at, and maybe it's just me.
But, you know, usually it's like, even Dave.
Like, Dave has a couple tweets about it. But usually it's like, slobber knocker back and forth. This is just like, I you know usually it's like even Dave like Dave has a couple
tweets about it but usually it's like slobber knocker back and forth this is just like yeah
man there's nothing right which is a sad day it's almost like huh Barstool's just legitimate yeah
there's nothing there anymore it was it was disappointing just much like the uh
the Trump announcement like both nothing two things that used to garner huge things.
The world has kind of moved on from both of that, for better or worse.
I hope the checks keep rolling.
I have money that keeps coming in.
If I'm getting some, I don't know.
But it is, you know, being the pirate ship was the thing for Barstool for a while.
Now we have weight loss competitions at work.
Our pirate ship is now a Norwegian cruise.
You either die the hero, folks.
Now we're the stand-up comedians on the cruise.
Come to the discotheque for a stand-up act.
Fucking shoot me in the face.
Kanye West running for president. Talkup act. Fucking shoot me in the face.
Kanye West running for president.
Talk about a...
What a tweet.
I just saw his...
He just dropped a shalom on everyone.
From his account?
From his account, yeah.
I also saw that Patriot Takes,
the infamous account that also
tried to take down Barstool, had
a video with him.
But by the time I went to click on it, it said that tweet has been deleted.
19 hours ago, still, Shalom with a smiley face.
He's tried to Trump it in a way.
Trump was very good at, he would piss people off but he would garner
clicks and eyeballs and this is just like yeah you went too far man nobody cares anymore yeah
he also like the kind of your president thing like not that he would ever really have any
legitimacy to it but it would like the ball was rolling a little bit i guess that was like 2021
or something like that was like right after the last election, right?
No, he was running for this one.
But you know what I mean?
Like, there was talk of... I mean, running.
Like, when Kanye for president was like...
I think we sold the shirt.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what I mean.
It was more in the zeitgeist a couple years ago.
He needed that type of attention.
Now, it's like, nothing.
Yeah, yeah.
It was always silly. But there was people being like, man he's a you know he's a billionaire and blah blah blah um
uh this is something uh usually one minute man we try to cover all like the important news this is
maybe a little bit more inside our interests but the dude who made the top 600 porn stars.
Oh, yeah.
Is one of the most irresponsible lists I've ever seen in my life.
It's crazy.
And I just want to say, you know,
if it's like little Tommy or little Susie out there
who are just entering into the world of porn
and they look at some lists and they think that this really is what the industry is all about.
I want them to know that this is not, in fact, reflective of the best the porn adult industry has to offer.
There are adult entertainers on here that are truly, literally the greatest of all times who are in the triple digits.
Yeah.
It's a travesty.
It is.
I'm going to write a hit piece On this fucking guy
We
Fucking Adrian Chetrick
Is not a top 100
Points of all time
What are we doing here
Bella Danger was
Behind her
At like 120
What
Bella Danger 120
Adrian Chetrick 107
Like who
Who
I defy you
To find 100 people
Better on this earth
When it comes to fucking
Lana Rhodes
Buck 22 Come on Right Lana Rhodes, buck 22.
Come on!
Lana Rhodes is the most attractive porn star
that has ever lived.
And she's in the hundreds.
No one on this earth fucks better than Adriana Cechuk.
She's literally the best at fucking, right?
Maybe Belladonna.
And Belladonna wasn't on the list at all, I don't think.
Not on it at all.
Give me a control F and see if Belladonna's on there.
I don't think she is.
Me and this guy have different tastes.
I can tell looking at his top few.
My guy likes big naturals.
Yeah, he likes big, big milkies.
If you like those big milkies, you're not.
Big sloppy set.
Yeah.
If you like the milkies.
I mean, shout out Chrissy Mac, though.
Chrissy Mac, too, is a good spot.
Good spot to be in.
She's in the top there.
She's number two. I mean, that also, though, is like, you know, she's not really doing it anymore.
Right.
Dude, it is always funny, too, when you hear how long.
I think Jenna Jameson was in the 400s.
Yeah, that means she's a pioneer.
Also, but if we're being honest, like, Jenna Jameson fucked with rubbers.
Yeah, yeah, but also, you've got to pay homage.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'd have to have a long talk about the criteria for this list.
My girl Tegan Presley getting in there, what was that,
447? It is, I actually...
Bro, it's 600 and so, so many.
So, so many. I am,
like, concerned
that, like, I'm recognizing names in the five.
Ah, me too. Me too.
Like, like, a lot of them.
Like, a shocking amount of them.
Yeah.
You know what always cracks me up?
I have not seen a page yet.
That I didn't know somebody.
That I don't know someone on.
This is making me turn on the murderers and porn star question.
Because there's a lot of porn stars.
And I know like so many of them.
Also, and you know, maybe people are going to disagree with me on this.
Riley Reeds 600?
That had to have been a troll.
Riley Reeds 600?
I mean, that's like Mr. Irrelevant.
He's trying to make like – who's number 590?
Like Sarah J.
I know some people.
597.
Who's Pinky?
Is that how you say it?
I know Pinky.
Pinky's just a – I don't know that one.
She's a thicker black gal.
You really are a pervert.
You're just a pervert, John.
But what I was going to say, and maybe people disagree with me on this,
I think there should be some guys on this list.
Absolutely there should be.
I think you're listening to 600 Best Porn Shows All Time,
and you're not throwing a fucking couple dudes in there?
Johnny Sins, fucking Manuel Ferreira, Nacho.
Milf Hunter. There's some goats out there uh i i i just love the thought of this guy sitting down like how do you decide who goes 436 versus 437 that
cracks me up so much how many retweets does this have? Like the first one? Not enough to be talking about on our podcast.
Oh, okay.
It's pretty viral.
Yeah, no.
This guy can kick rocks, man.
I am too busy to do a top 600 myself.
Otherwise, I'd put him in his fucking grave.
There's not even a top 600 chart in music this little morning.
He needs to see jail.
What did it say?
Because you've got to be built like this.
It is...
What is that meme from?
I was going to ask.
I have no fucking idea.
I see this all the time now.
I don't know what it's from.
That creepy little video?
Yeah.
I don't know either.
Oh, I watched Smile last night.
You know that movie?
Fucking scary.
Really?
It's a good scary movie.
It's actually, the only problem is it's identical to another scary movie that I won't say on the air.
I'll tell you afterwards because I don't want to spoil it.
Because if you say that and you know that movie, it just kind of ruins the whole thing.
But, dude, the Smile is so creepy.
It's so funny how, you know, the the smile it's the happiest thing in the world but if you do it in the wrong way you put your head down you have a
weird like weird music in the background it's the most terrifying fucking thing in the world
but there's a lot of like you you don't know what's real or what's not and if there's gotta
be nothing scarier than when you like lose a grip on is this real is this happening
or not and she's a psychiatrist herself in the movie so she's like you know she like knows oh
it's a it's a very it's a good scary movie i haven't seen a scary movie that good in a long
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Last thing.
This also is not the most viral of stories, but it should be.
Our esteemed colleague Nick Hamilton was out and saw someone pull the move that I'm going to just call pocket chili.
Had their own fucking pocket chili.
Now that is, I mean, to have to whip out your own container pocket chili. Now that is, I mean, to whip out your own container of chili.
Of course it's in Iowa. What really caught me by surprise was she tossed it on tater tots,
which I've never done.
Sounds like a move.
Chili tots sounds delicious.
She was like an older woman, and we're at New York.
She was in Tupperware, or she was in a can of chili?
Tupperware.
So it was like some homemade chili.
Do you think it was still warm?
I'm sure it was.
Did she go into her bag and rummage around and grab it?
No, it was in the coat pocket.
I'm just thinking, you think that's like, yo, meet me down at the bar.
I ordered the tater tots, but make sure you bring your chili.
We know this place has shitty chili.
Bring your chili. That sort of of thing that's fucking fascinating it is like this
bar has been the iowa bar in new york for a while now because the other one burnt down i guess uh
so i'm sure they knew the menu already because that's where they've been going all season i have
to imagine she knew what was going to be on the menu or not the fact she knew to order the tater
tots like without the chili,
I feel like she's done that before.
That is special.
The reason I'm saying this,
you texted me as I was getting on the train
and I was going to the Music Man with my mom.
Oh, you got butt fucked there, huh?
Bro, it is.
The poster with none of the people performing is great.
None of them performing.
I'll see none of you tonight.
Yeah, literally none.
But like...
Is that because it's like close to Thanksgiving or something?
No, it was...
So Hugh had done the matinee,
which I actually could relate to.
Lost his voice.
Lost his voice.
What about the other ones?
Sutton Foster, she was scheduled not to perform that night.
So I knew...
And Meredith Wilson?
Oh, that's the writer.
Yeah, Meredith Wilson.
Okay.
Sutton Foster, I knew she wasn't going to be there.
It is funny how you sympathize a little more, right?
We said that.
I used to say when I saw someone say, like, we're canceling this show because of my voice or even exhaustion.
And I was like, yeah, right.
You're going to rehab.
You're doing too many drugs.
And those are probably one and the same.
But I also do respect it a little bit more where it's like you probably do reach a point with exhaustion where you're like i can't go on tonight someone said
that definitely with your voice in the matinee show he took four separate water breaks like they
didn't bring water on stage just like not even hiding it just like and then he didn't come out
for the last song and he was just like i don't have a i don't know dude think about it when
you're like oh you're belting it out if you had a voice like yours and you're supposed to be like
projecting to the back of the room comedy shows with a gravelly voice you can't fucking sing i almost kind of i think it'd be cool
to see a show like that where it's like because like that's almost like it was it was so bad okay
it's so bad that i want to go see oh the show's bad to see how hugh could possibly save it like
i don't i don't it is like we were all like that's like a long one too right uh it wasn't too bad
we started at eight we were probably i mean We probably did the two and a half hours.
I have a theory that most Broadway shows stink
and that they're all just hype.
No, that's completely incorrect.
But the...
I think that they all get like this.
My whole group was like...
My family, my mom, my sisters, my aunt,
and we were all like, this is crazy.
Like how does... I feel like it doesn't... If Hugh Jackman doesn't jump on board with it, I was with my mom, my sisters, my aunt, and we were all like, this is crazy bad.
Like, how does – I feel like it doesn't – if Hugh Jackman doesn't jump on board with it, does it make it?
If it's so bad, like –
This is a –
Oh, this is a classic one.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh.
The – but it was just like –
Like, the fact that Cats was running for 30 years to me –
That Cats sucked sucked too. I can't – like that – I don't need to see any other show to know that Broadway's system is broken if Cats can run for fucking 40 years.
I don't know how you guys decide it.
I don't know who just – who funds it.
Can't do Cats.
It was like – at one point I just – I hit my sister.
I was like, are they – like is it – are they running a bit?
Like are they intentionally not having charisma?
The guy was just trying to be Hugh Jackman rather than the character.
I don't know.
I know he's a New England guy, so I don't mean to speak ill of my brethren.
But you stink.
I did not care for you.
Meredith Wilson, your show stinks.
Try again next time.
Sincerely, KFC Radio.
We were on Broadway too, bitch.
It's literally across the street from Caroline's.
We put on a better show than you.
All right, voicemails.
And then Nickelback.
Hey, KFC Fights.
What's up?
I just got back from your live show, Caroline's.
Little would you rather
for you?
Would you rather
be stuck
in the line of
peak beach bar?
KFC, I know you know this.
Osprey, Friday night.
Peak time at the bar,
or peak time going into the city. So, like, Holland Tunnel's backed up, Lincoln Tunnel's backed up,
we're trying to get in.
Would you rather?
Dude, the line, we saw a line
to get into our new bar
in Arizona.
Oh my God.
And shout out to the people
in Scottsdale
running the Barstool Bar
and it looks awesome.
It's huge
and it looks like it's like
going to be, you know,
a primo spot.
That being said,
no fucking way
I would wait on that line.
Not in a million years.
Not in a million years.
And that looks like it took a million years not in a one and that looks like
it took a million years yeah um i just can't do any lines but traffic is like my answer would
probably be traffic because like you're going somewhere you're trying to get home traffic is
kind of a uh you have to eventually you know if the traffic is traffic you know i oh like traffic doesn't bother me yeah well now it definitely doesn't because like you got your phone you got
if you have someone in the car would you rather be in traffic alone or with somebody alone because
to me yeah it's like you pop on i know you don't listen to podcasts in the car but you have
everything you know right fucking here as a matter of fact it's like i you know i can look at my
phone i'm like in traffic i'm like whatever i don't even keep my eyes on the road anymore um the waiting
in line for a bar i guess technically you have your phone you could do the same thing but not
really dude it is standing people are drunk you're probably ready to fight somebody cut you off
somebody bumped into you you're with people you don't like it's taking too long there's an asshole
bouncer there's some dickhead who's trying to cut the line.
There's some dickhead who successfully cuts the line.
There's too much shit that goes on in the bar line for me to even tolerate it for a second. I haven't been in a crowded bar in a long time, and I did on Saturday.
I went to Hudson Hound, and I just met some friends, and we were just watching the game.
Which, shout out to my buddy who sent me the text.
I tweeted a screenshot of it, but it was just like,
here are all my friends whose names you've met.
Everyone should text that.
That's a great move.
It was like I was meeting him and some of his buddies.
Oh, ahead of time.
He was like, there are people here you've met.
Don't introduce yourself.
That's what they're wearing.
And I was like, that's a fucking gangster move.
But I walked into Hudson Hounds.
And luckily, there were two separate parts of the bar.
There was the bar, which was jammed.
And I walked in and was like, I just fucking spilled so much ice cream on myself.
And now I have to be in this mode.
And then luckily, when I turned the corner, I turned the corner, like the kind of restaurant area
where they had a booth was much, much quieter.
But I walked in and I was like,
I can't, I can't do this.
Yeah, no, I mean, it's...
It was like in Always Sunny
when Dennis thinks he's going to have to fuck the little Asian boy.
And he comes back around and he's like,
he's the caddy.
And Dennis is in the middle of taking his pants off.
He's like, all right, I got to shift gears here.
Why don't you give me a second?
I got to shift gears real quick.
I walked in there, I was like, I got to shift gears, man.
I got to get into this mode.
But I would much, much prefer to be in traffic than a crowded bar.
Dude, I need to be able to sit, and I need to be able to hear you.
Yeah.
Otherwise, I'm out.
You need to laugh at my jokes.
I can't.
How am I going to get my fucking,
my sartona into my brain?
Yeah, I can't do it.
Next up.
Yo, what's up?
KFC Radio.
I'm watching Sopranos.
KFC, I know you don't like it,
but just hear me out.
There's a character on here his name
is larry barisi every line he delivers is just fucking gold and he has such a small like arc
like just he's rarely in the storyline who is a character from a tv show that you wish had a bigger
part in the show than they did
because they were funny, they were
moving, whatever.
The Lawyer?
The Lawyer I actually don't
though because he's used truly the
perfect amount. And anything over that
might ruin it.
But I, like a
not like it's own show, but maybe like a web
web series, like a spinoff,
where you could just watch little five-minute bits about what the lawyer –
like from the lawyer's point of view.
The first scene is like you see Mac, Charlie, and Dennis leave his office.
And then the lawyer – you see what the lawyer does from there.
The lawyer is fantastic.
Which they ruined him, though, right?
Because he gets his eyes eaten out.
So he can't come back.
That is so stupid.
What was that?
That bird, like, flew across and pecked it out?
That's a funny episode, but that was a bit much.
Yeah.
That was when it starts going crazy.
When the bird attacks and then everyone's like,
all right, stop, like, pretending that we're in a courtroom.
Like, Dennis has the laser dot out and everyone's like, all right, I can stop like pretending that we're in a courtroom and like,
Dennis has the laser dot out and she's being the cat
and then fucking,
it's just total chaos.
Fucking Frank
and what's his name?
The fun guy?
Yeah.
They're just fucking
doing bumps.
They're doing key bumps.
Pondy.
Pondy is the coolest.
It's just like
absolute chaos.
The cat is unbelievable. Pondy's kids is Coke Dealer like absolute chaos. The cat is unbelievable.
Pondy's kids is Coke dealer.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.
So with the hands, that's got everything.
He made me an omelet full of cocaine.
He told his daughter she's too fat to be a slut he said I was too fat to be a
slut
that guy's the dad
on young Sheldon now
that's not appreciated enough
that is right
Dennis is just yelling
I'm paying alimony
to a cat woman!
It's all just
absolute fucking chaos.
It is great.
But my answer
would be Uncle Jeff.
And it's probably
because I'm on a
beep kick right now.
But dude,
fucking Jonah's
Uncle Jeff
is so goddamn
fucking funny.
Bro,
that season
might be my favorite season
I think it's season 6
Is he the one when he says shit in Clits
And he's like get the fuck out of here
This is an elementary school you animal
Dude in this one
The one I watched today
It was when fucking
Jonah gets a circumcision
Because he wants to marry
Sherman Tan's daughter And Uncle Jeff walks into the office Jonah gets a circumcision Because he wants to marry Sherman Tans' daughter
Yeah
And
Uncle Jeff walks into the office
Walks into the hospital
And it's like
I'm pulling you off the ballot
Putting your cousin Ned on
Or whatever his name is
You're fired
You're done
And then Tans' wife
Is like
No you can't do that
And he's like
Who's this tranny knuckle-dragger talking to me?
And he starts calling him Sherman Trans' son.
And then once he leaves, he's like, you're off the ballot.
You're done.
And then she's like, Jonah, I actually think we should slow things down with ourselves.
And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jonah goes, yeah, yeah, my teachers used to have to do that to me all the time.
And she's like, no, you're getting what I'm saying.
And then Uncle Jeff comes busting into the room with that high-pitched squeal laugh.
He's like, ah, she's dumping you.
He's like, I'm so happy I came and didn't call.
Jonah's like, Uncle Jeffff can you just stop he's like he also has the uh what was it i mean he's got so many great lines to that one but when he's like
i want to say they're at a funeral uh and uh he thinks he thinks that am Amy's a hooker, and he slips her his hotel room card.
He goes, if you got a dick, I'll pay double.
I'm trying to pull up.
I think, was I doing one of those brackets on?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you search hashtag Barstool brackets
and Google that with secondary TV characters, there's a whole list of 64 of them.
And they are all, like, all-time greats.
But I guess we were, like, a little – I mean, there's so many TV shows with so many side characters.
I think I tried to limit it, but
Seinfeld alone has a million
fucking characters. You know what I mean? You could have
full entire TV shows
of those guys. I don't know who
ended up winning this one, but
yeah, check that out.
That was one of the better. Breaking Bad
has a bunch of good... My answer always is
Mike Armantrout. I always wanted more from him.
Alright, last voicemail. Let's go.
Fights, KFC,
rest of the crew. I just want to say
Caroline's last night,
fucking awesome. You guys rock
and thank you.
That was much needed.
So I'll make this quick. My question
mainly for Kev,
but fights, chirping, if you have any
ideas. So I'm doing the complete opposite
of what you did kevin i'm going from a fun you know outdoor job every day of my life golf pro
for the last eight years um due to not making any money and some back issues golf's not really
passed so now i'm studying to become a financial advisor no financial background my
degree is in sports management um but this kind of fell into my lap and i said fuck it let's go
my question for you how do i not go crazy sitting behind a desk all day i've never done this before
and it's pretty scary so i i have any tips for me the only thing i'll say to the people who are in the
cube coming into the cube world now life's a lot easier and different with the social media world
like it can't be that bad because you're just fucking on your phone yeah yeah it's like back
when there was back when you had to go to a url barstoolsports.com and hope that they had updated
the site for something new to read.
And sometimes they didn't.
Sometimes they were like,
oh, there wasn't a blog for this hour,
so I've just got to go back to work.
And I'll check my other...
There would be times where I had a rotation of blogs,
and I read all of them for that day,
and that was it.
And I guess you could say
there's an endless amount of websites.
That's true.
But not the ones you liked. And when you would go through it, you could say like there's a endless amount of websites that's true but like not the ones you liked and when you would go through it you'd be like all right uh there's
just nothing left to keep me entertained anymore i have to just sit here and wallow in my misery
and now it's like scroll down scroll down scroll down scroll down there will be there will be
something updated every second to keep you at least occupied at the very least. Occupado.
So that to me is like, it's not as bad as it once was, but also going from like the total freedom back, you're going backwards.
That's probably a bad move.
I had a buddy who, but he's a little older than me, but he used to, he works in the cube.
He used to fucking print out
like page six articles
and just go sit in the toilet.
Like,
like,
was it page six or page two?
The ESPN,
like where Simmons was.
Page two,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
Page two.
Well,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
he like,
the post,
so you can maybe do that too.
But he like,
print out like page two,
Simmons.
I knew guys who would print out
largest site,
take a report.
Yeah. He did like long form.
And yeah, like go take a shit and read papers.
I know a guy who stapled it.
He has a long one.
Flipped them over.
It's like that is misery, my friend.
So you can still pop on Instagram and fucking find hot chicks and funny shit and interesting stuff at any given moment. moment so i don't know it's like how
about you just do your job and make the money and it is also nice to do that you you're the
one who said this like every time we're at work we're working right we're like there's never a
day where like we come into work and it's like dude let's just fucking chill today for us like
to be clear there's plenty of people here to do that yeah if we are in the building we are working non-stop like recording
something doing something waiting to record the next thing the the like yeah this guy you know
what's the best way to not go crazy take fridays off right mentally not not not like stay at home
just go to work and don't do anything. So you work four days a week.
You're done.
Yeah, you can do that.
That's pretty nice.
It's like, yeah, you know, 40-hour work is killing me.
Don't work 40 hours.
Spread them out accordingly.
Like I would love to try to go back now and be like, you know, on January 2nd,
I put in for all my vacation for the year.
I have all my vacations lined up.
And like I'll see you on Monday if it's Thursday.
I won't come in. And if I i do i'll be hiding from you uh i will leave at 4 49
459 every fucking single day i would love to see if you could really some if you do an experiment
where it's like this is my job and i'm taking it seriously so i can't get fired you know and see
if i could truly like mail it in but still succeed.
Still climb the corporate ladder.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I don't think you could fake that.
I think you have to be able to do it.
But if you can, those jobs are easy.
That's the beauty of it.
It's hard to unlock, but once you do, it's like, oh, this is a fucking joke.
None of this matters.
All right, let's do it.
The moment the world has been waiting for.
Nickelback on KFC Radio.
I mentioned it on the Monday episode with Pat.
If you didn't listen to that, I do have to preface that I was so nervous to go into this interview
because I was telling myself you just have to be blunt and rip the Band-Aid off
and dive into how much people fucking hate Nickelback or at least say they do.
And I was like, these guys are ready for it.
It's what they do.
It'll be fine.
They're cool about it.
They always spin zone it for themselves for the better.
And then when we started, I realized that they're pretty like family guys and they're soft spoken and I just couldn't do it.
So I was like dancing around the question being like, you grew up in the internet era
and that can be good but
it can also be bad and you know you you sold cds but you also did streaming and also you
and he was like yeah we're also the most memeable band of all time just fuck it i i couldn't i just
didn't have the heart man i was like i'm not an interviewer i'm just a guy here who wants to have
a good interview conversation with this dude But I gotta bring up the word.
You have to, but like,
in a regular conversation
with a normal person, I never would.
In a million years. I would never walk up to someone and be like,
yo man, let's talk about how the internet fucking
hates you. People do that to me all the time.
That's probably why I couldn't do it. People walk up to me and be like,
yo, I just want you to know, I love your shit. I have no
idea why everyone else hates you. I'm like,
what? I didn't know
everyone else hated me
why are you
why would you say that
to me motherfucker
just say the first part
yeah just leave it at that
just say you're a fan of me
but I'm like
as an interviewer
I've got to do it
and thankfully
so listen to that
it's very very funny
and the rest of it
is awesome shit
so give it a listen
Nickelback on KFC Radio
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Oh, the fucking boys are here.
What's going on, man?
How are you doing?
I feel like I'm three drinks behind.
Shit!
We're going to put you around this way.
There's four of you.
Three of us.
Okay, so then we've got a little more room.
Push that out.
All the way here?
So you guys can go one, two, three.
You can go with this.
I can go with this.
Okay.
All right.
How we doing, guys?
What's up?
Well, huge press day.
Just starting to fucking run out of gas.
Just starting to run out of gas?
You want a little whiskey?
No, no, no.
But it was great to walk around the corner
and have you guys be like,
boys, what the fuck's going on?
Let's go.
That's what I needed.
Need a little shot of energy.
That's what I needed.
We're ready with the whiskey if you want it.
A little rocket up the ass.
I like that.
If I get started on this,
tomorrow's show's going to be fucking raw.
The brake pedal was not installed in this model.
No.
No brake pedal. Pop the governor off. So pop the governor off yeah so when you get going you get going oh every time like if i start so the girl like if it's if this is an
afternoon thing like if it's like two in the afternoon and i'm like you know if i buy the
pool i'm like i'm gonna fucking crack a beer i i see i could see that harry yeah she's kind of like
you know it's two o'clock,
right,
and you haven't eaten
anything yet?
She's seen the movie
so many times.
Yeah,
I know this one ends.
I run it back,
it's a classic.
Yeah,
I've done the prequel,
I fucking directed half of these.
It's like Harry Potter,
man,
there's like 80 of these
motherfuckers.
So at like noon the next day,
she's like,
I fucking told you.
And I'm like,
what do you mean?
We had
Tommy Lee on, and Kevin
was talking about that, how he'll get to noon
and he's like, I just can't do it anymore.
And Tommy Lee was like, dude,
you just start again.
Start drinking, you'll be fine.
Tommy Lee is probably one you maybe don't take all the advice
from, but I
like that one. I think Tommy Lee party advice you either absolutely take or absolutely don't take.
It depends on where you want to get.
Right.
He's one of my best friends.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
He's wild, man.
Yeah, I love him to death.
I really do.
He just had his 60th down in Punta Mita.
60, shit.
Yeah, and we all went down.
It was wild because we were sitting there.
And to watch. And Nicky came down. Vince came down. It was wild because we were sitting there. And, you know, to watch.
And Nicky came down.
Vince came down.
It was like the whole crew.
Well, Mick wasn't there, so three-quarters of the crew.
So I'm sitting there, and I'm looking across the table.
And Nicky comes up, and he's talking to Tommy.
And, like, the 13-year-old me is just like, holy shit.
Right, right.
I'm like, don't.
Fanboy.
Fucking fanboy.
Not now.
Like, you're a peer.
Be a fucking peer.
Yeah, right.
That's like your coworkers in a way.
That's your contemporaries.
I think if they had looked over and they saw me doing this,
and I'm like, what's with the fucking look on your face, Chad?
What's going on?
Nothing?
Nothing?
Is that weird when you reach that level?
You know, I mean, like, at some point you're on par with all these legendary bands,
whether you grew up listening to them or, you know, whatever it may be.
Eventually you break through to that, you know, whether it's record sold or...
You become a real imposter.
Yeah.
For sure.
Like, it's tough not to.
That's a great picture. Yeah. You know, it is like an imposter. Yeah. For sure. Like, it's tough not to. That's a great picture.
That's a fucking gag right there.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know,
it is like an imposter.
Yeah.
We feel that all the time.
And for the camera.
We and the boys,
yeah, like,
it was wild.
Like, you know,
and then the nights would go late
and it turns into that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right?
Good for you for keeping up
with them, though, man.
Yeah. Tommy's pretty much off the sauce now. He doesn't... Oh, yeah, where did he... No, he fell off for a second. Good for you for keeping up with them though man Yeah
Tommy's pretty much off the sauce now
He doesn't
Oh yeah
No
He fell off for a second
He said
I said I'm sober
And we were like
Oh really
And then he starts talking about
Drinking margaritas and shit
And I was kind of like
Really
He goes
It was like
Well it's vodka
That doesn't count
I was like what
Dude he was
So we did it over Zoom
During the like heavy pandemic
And We're like So what have you been Because he started saying he was sober And I'm like, what? Dude, he was – so we did it over Zoom during the heavy pandemic.
And we're like, so what have you been – because he started saying he was sober.
And we're like, so what have you been doing?
This was like heavy lockdown.
This was like April 2020.
And we're like, so what do you do?
And he's like – he holds up a Yeti.
And he goes, I wake up every morning, fill this with ice, fill it to the brim with vodka,
little spritz of cranberry juice on top. That's what it was.
I go drink by the pool.
Little color, yeah. I was like, I don't think you know what sober means, dude on top. That's what it was. I go drink by the pool. Little color, yeah.
I don't think you know what sober means, dude.
I don't know.
But at the same time, again,
it's Tommy Lee.
That is sober for him.
That's just morning breakfast.
How the hell is that guy a rail still?
It's awesome.
I get the FaceTime.
It's like 2 in the afternoon,
and he's like,
Chadley, these are fucking delicious.
And I'm like, that looks delicious.
Sounds like it.
That's good.
Is it like a chicken or the egg sort of thing?
Or is it like, I feel like there's not many rock stars.
I feel like you all can kind of keep it going.
You can tour and you can party if you want to.
And you can turn it up
where a lot of people
who eventually grow
to be your age
are like,
I can't party anymore.
Easy.
Easy.
Easy, dude.
I said compliment,
you guys still got it.
I mean,
you did open that door
with a can of glass
and I wish you
could show tomorrow.
That's it right there.
That's the movie we got.
We're at that stage.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll see where we're at,
you know, hopefully. They don't age well. When're at that stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll see where we're at.
Hopefully, these don't age well.
When you go and get older,
it's like you see all these guys in rehab and stuff.
And it's like, yeah, it's not a special story.
It's not special.
I mean, you guys all look great. I was going to say,
I tell you what,
look at the three handsome gentlemen right here.
They're aging well.
Yeah, no, I mean,
this is the best one to leave with.
We didn't know if you guys were bringing the ring light or not,
so the makeup girl put extra tape on.
We were just jamming out to the new EP, I guess,
with the three new songs.
No, no, it's a full record.
Yeah, so you probably heard San Quentin.
San Quentin, Those Days, and High Time.
We listened to Those Days.
Those Days.
Those Days fucking goes. Dude, Those Days fucking goes. San Quentin, those days, and high time. Listen to those days. Those days. Those days for cool things.
Dude, those days fucking go.
I actually started to, when I was listening to it, I was like, oh, this is right up my
generation's alley.
But it's also kind of like any generation.
You know what I mean?
That was the idea.
It's those days.
At first, I was like, oh, this is 90s kids' life.
I was like, no, it's not.
It's fucking every life.
Well, yeah, but it was supposed to be.
We were shooting 80s yeah at first but then he's like let's not go so specific
that has to be 80s let's leave the chorus a little open to it but i'm like i'm talking you know like
as soon as i said uh remember when elm street came on can watch yeah i guess that's a little
specific remember like uh uh when they played purple rain you know to a slow dance yeah all
that stuff remember when uh guns and roses came out know, to our first slow dance, all that stuff.
Remember when Guns N' Roses came out
and we were standing in line trying to hit all those things?
Because that's got to be like, that's probably 89.
It's 80, like late 90s.
But then there's also, you know, holding hands.
The one that jumped out to me was when first base was holding hands.
Right.
Because what are your bases now?
What does your field look like?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got a few more bases.
There does seem to be be there used to be
like a fifth base
to be honest
my girlfriend's awesome
let's just say that
I'm like
she's scouting other players
oh Jesus
I love this girl desperately
take long
she's Otani
she can pitch and hit.
Because it used to be
like I always grew up
with first was making out.
Second was kind of
handsy stuff.
Handsy stuff.
Third was mild stuff.
Third was also
no see but then you lose
like hand,
Where's the dry hump?
Is that two or three?
Yeah.
Dry hump's on your way
to first.
Yeah.
And then we heard
then there was sloppy second.
It's a slow bunt. I think we just need a whole new sport
just the tip
which one's that
what you really need is a football
you're on your way to home
you're getting the fucking
you're getting the wave around
send him send him
go go
guy home
slide slide slide
yeah that was
I remember one of the worst experiences of my life that stuck with me when I was, like, seventh grade.
Do you sure you want to start it with stuck with me?
We were on.
Wait, you were pegging in the third grade?
Damn, dude.
My boy's advanced, dog.
Advanced.
I was, it was at the period of time
where you would call
a house phone
so it was like
my buddy called
you know
his girlfriend at the time
and we were all listening
on other phones
you know
chiming in
and everybody was saying
what base they had been to
and I had
zero experience
and I was trying to fake it
you know
saying this
all these details
and this girl
you're like
yeah I know
I stuck my finger
in her urethra
right
and it was like it was like dude dude dude that's the P that's the P it was 40 year old all these details. And this girl on the other line said, Yeah, I know. I stuck my finger in her urethra. Right.
It was like,
it was like,
dude, dude, dude.
That's the P.
That's the P.
It was 40-year-old virgin type shit.
Wait a minute.
And she goes to me,
you're not even out of the dugout.
And everybody laughs,
and I was like,
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
But songs like that I'm on deck.
I'm on deck.
I'm ready.
I'm a prospect.
I'm coming up
anyway
enough about that
I mean you guys
are I think
one of the most
unique bands
of all time
from a point of view
of like the
that's when you
stop fucking filming
he says that
you walk out
he's like
I'm not buying
any of this
not buying it
we got all the
sex talk we're good I i think you're just very
interesting in the um you know some bands are i guess it's whether for better or worse you come
up in like the internet era right and um you know well that's i guess my question is like you know
you can i guess in some ways they're streaming but but that's worse than selling records. But then there's so much going viral and all that.
And then Nickelback has always become this internet,
this so unique to the internet type of thing.
That's a very kind way of saying the most memeable band ever.
I was dancing around.
I'm like, is he going to ask a question?
I'm like, let the clutch out, dude.
But you embraced it, right?
I mean, at some point it's like, fuck it, right?
It was, dude.
I actually did a little Twitter search of my own tweets.
And I was like, what have I ever said about Nickelback in the past?
Always team Nickelback, for the record.
And I had one tweet.
I love how you had to go back and check it.
Well, I knew you guys always fucking ripped. I was, right? I was. I was on the team. No, I knew for the record. I love how you had to go back and check it. Well, I knew you guys always fucking ripped.
I was, right? I was. I was on the team.
No, I knew for a fact. I always was.
But I just wanted to make sure. And I had
one tweet where I was like, dude,
this is like Taylor Swift and Entourage. People just hate it
because it's so popular. And I was like,
now looking back, I'm like, pretty good group to be in.
Pretty good company right there.
Can't complain, man. It's one of those things
that takes a life of its own, but it's been a wild ride a wild ride i'm fine with it i'm flying landing exactly where we're
at right now well it also i think kind of comes around like at some point you know people go like
wait what are you guys talking about nickelback is yeah they go back i think the great reset has
happened yeah yeah it does feel that way we call it the softening
on the band
like the teeth
the people who put
the teeth away
like we're watching these
somebody brought this
some metal guy
and the metal guys
are so protective
of their genre
that anytime we dip
our toe in there
because we've got
lots of tunes
that are metal
they're just like
stay in your lane asshole
you know it's just like
stay over there
this guy comes on
he's like
alright I'll be the
first to say we might have been a little hard on nickelback for a while you know like come on
those guys honestly did not deserve this doesn't show like how what what sheep everyone is where
it's like one person decides this and like the whole is like all right let's do that it's like
what are you a fucker you can't think for yourself you can't hear animals for yourself and be like
this fucking rocks group think it wasn't It was even within the industry too though.
It wasn't just fans.
There was a couple
key points. Things that
happened. There were these milestones that
started this snowball
rolling.
Some comedian
I'm going to have to find the guy's name so I can go bomb
his house.
This guy makes this shitty crack about us, and he's on Comedy Central.
MTV, I think.
Is it Comedy Central or MTV?
It was on Comedy Central.
It's a Colin Quinn show.
We've been told that.
Oh, okay.
The trailer just spun.
And this guy, so they took that, they put it in, yeah, like a commercial for this one show,
and that played on Comedy Central for six months straight.
This Nickelback joke, right?
So that starts this whole thing going.
That's the theory anyway.
That's where it really started at this one moment,
and then all of a sudden it was just like,
and then it started making its way into movies,
and then like we get all this stuff all the time,
and then it's just like.
It was like an expectation.
Like Charlie Benente, the drummer for Anthrarax came to our show like five six years
ago and i talked to him after he's like i thought i was supposed to hate nickelback like he didn't
think about it it was just pre-programmed yeah he's like i know all these songs you guys are
great i love charlie he's trying to shook him out of his haze of this whole well we just
have to hate that yeah. Yeah. Very weird.
I would guess you could put a song out for anybody.
Like, oh, this fucking goes.
Yeah, it's Nickelback.
It's fucking awesome.
Yeah.
But also, we don't have to tell you guys this.
You're rich as fuck.
Yeah.
I'm just saying.
There's other ways to measure this.
I want to hear about it.
A hundred dollars.
You guys are like, yeah, no, we fucking know.
And that's the litmus test right there.
When a bunch of poor people are telling you you're not good,
like, I can't hear you.
I'm rich.
Fuck you guys.
That is crazy.
I can't hear you.
I've got hundreds stuck in my brain.
But, yeah, I mean, that's such bullshit.
That's crazy.
Was there ever a moment of, like, did you have a PR team or anybody kind of being like,
whoa, wait a minute, what's going on here?
We got to control this thing?
Or was it just like, the internet does what the internet does?
I mean, this is so lighthearted, but when every interview would be like,
boy, geez, guys, the whole world fucking hates you guys.
Let's talk about that.
For a decade, It was like that
Just like non-stop
So yeah
We get it
Thank God
Like thank God
You know the internet
Caught up with everyone else
Because suddenly
The trenches were full
We're like
Nice to see ya
Yeah
We were down here first
Yeah
Come on in
We got lots of room
You were texting Kanya
Taking him on
Yeah I don't know
You're making some good points dude Right No no You know it's bad when Nickelback looks at what's going on with
Connie that's why we call that the mud here when you know you're you know we're
not is where we we reside we live in now it's kind of like a Batman thing. The mire.
We were born in it.
We were molded by the mud.
A couple people, you have a bad day on the internet.
You had some PR hits and you come down.
You eventually go back out.
We stayed out.
We got mud gills.
We can breathe in the mud, man.
It just turns into the other hole.
We are Nickelback.
We started the other year.
You are nothing.
Same low, shoot low.
Exactly.
Welcome to the trenches.
The only difference is, again, you have millions and millions of dollars.
We're actually poor people in the mud.
I have a roommate, bro.
Sorry to hear that.
My mom still does my laundry.
My mom still controls my money, though.
That's true.
There you go.
Bro, I don't have a roommate, but I could use one.
So I don't know what's worse.
You know what? You guys could move in together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's too much.
That would be too much.
Too much.
You should try playing in a band with somebody for 25 years.
I was going to say, you guys all get along?
Yeah.
We're still here.
Yes.
My lawyer said I have to say yes.
It's a long time.
And to be on the road and all that, I mean, it's not an easy life.
We went on the road for like five days, four days.
We did three different live podcasts.
Where did you guys go?
Denver, Phoenix, LA.
Gotcha.
And that was the first time we ever kind of went west.
But it was like three shows of a podcast for an hour.
We lost our voices.
We were getting sick.
We were tired.
And I mean, here's our pussy.
I want to go back to New York.
For real.
It was after our first show.
I'm friends with Mark Roberge, the lead singer of OAR.
And I called him the next morning.
I was like, dude, how do you keep your voice performing every night night and he's like well here's what you gotta do you gotta stop
drinking you gotta stop smoking you gotta lay in bed and you gotta rest your voice and don't talk
to anyone no sugar and I was like that's not what I was no spicy food the night before
so so on like by the time you guys made it to Phoenix
you guys have been partying
and that's why it was like
you're not going to go to Denver
you're not going to go to LA
you're not going to Phoenix and not party
so you guys are partying
and you're like we might have gotten a little hard last night
yeah you could hear it
I would call my mom every morning
because I'm a mama's boy
and every morning she'd be like, you sound way worse.
What did you do last night?
Mom, can you send me some more of my money?
I spent it at the bar last night.
Is that your roommate?
Is that your mom?
No, but she's coming down this weekend.
We're going to a play together.
It's going to be very fun.
That's great.
That's great that's great uh you guys um
have like you know this this longevity that that you know very few people i feel like can continue
at this level for that long um yeah don't jinx us dude they went you know what they went to
barstool the next day fucking plummet i feel like if you guys can last this long through everything, you can last a hundred more years.
We can weather the storm.
I actually got a question.
We were doing a little research, as we do, because we're professional interviewers.
She says, fucking fantastic.
What was the Juby scene all about?
Bad boy.
Bad boy.
Let's move on.
And also, does it, you have have criminal records as I broke in twice
Must have done it half a dozen times
Is that what the juvie was?
It was 11
Didn't sing well
Must have done it 11 times
That doesn't fucking work
A little creative liberty that's fine
Must have done it half a dozen
That's better
So yeah For as bad as we all wanted to get out of school,
I have no idea why I kept breaking into mine.
You kept breaking into school?
Oh, yeah.
Into the school?
Oh, yeah, we'd bust into school,
and then we'd, like, ride our skateboards up and down the hallways and stuff.
Oh, that's fine.
What age is this?
This would be 88.
I was in the eighth grade.
88 years old.
Holy shit.
No, no, no.
1988.
1988.
So eighth grade.
Yeah, however old you are.
Yeah, 13, 14, somewhere in there.
Still writing songs about going to jail.
Yeah.
But like, I got...
Ride the wave, man.
I hadn't been sentenced, and I knew that they were going to sentence me, and I knew that
like, so I was going to fail the – no, I was in the ninth grade.
I knew I was going to fail the ninth grade because I knew I was going to have to go to Juvie.
And so I was just on it.
I'm like – it's one of those things like I'm already in deep shit.
I'm just like – I'm not going to put the shovel down.
I'm going to just keep on digging.
So my mom goes to take myself and Mike to a Metallica show in Calgary,
and we go to the mall, and that's where that line,
you know, I have a T-shirt we stole from the local mall.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I got caught stealing a fucking Motorhead shirt,
and she had to come and pick me up from the police station,
and she's like, what is wrong with you?
What's wrong with you?
And now I've got to pick you up, I get you released into my custody,
and I'm going to take you
to a Metallica concert.
So you're going to get rewarded
for this kind of behavior.
I'm like,
I don't know.
I'll pay you back.
I'll pay you back one day.
Don't worry.
We get to the concert.
We sit down
and it's Mike and I,
my brother and I,
and Mike's the bass player.
He's not feeling well today.
So,
and I'm,
you know,
we're kind of sitting there
and,
you know,
watching the show. This guy next to me, lights up a dube, passes it over to me.
I'm 13.
I'm like, yeah, I'll try that.
First time ever.
Just like Mike's looking at me and he's like, what is wrong with you?
And I'm just like, I just looked at him like, I don't know.
I don't know.
But you do, right?
I handed it back.
So they kicked like the middle part of one kicks in.
It's like, everyone else is standing up. Devil wins in the air. And I'm it back. The middle part of one kicks in.
Everyone else is standing up.
Devilhorn's in the air and I'm freaking out.
I'm just sitting there like, what the fuck is happening?
Is this what being stoned is?
What's going on?
Mike's just looking at me. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Just non-stop.
Sentencing rolls around.
They gave me a few months in juvie.
I did not enjoy that.
That was not fun.
For the record, juvie, not cool.
If this is like minor league jail, I'm out.
I don't want to.
I'm done.
See, I always thought I'd thrive in prison.
I think I do.
First of all, I need structure.
I can really use structure. You would be somebody's bitch so fast, dude.
Dude, I don't think so, man.
I think they'd be like
that dude's for the boys
you can't say you're
a mama's boy
and then you wanna
go to jail
I wouldn't tell
I told you guys
I had confidence
you would be dropping
you'd be dropping
what you do for a living
so fast in there
dude I'm a bar stool
come on come on
like
I'm completely
you know
I'd host a prison podcast
please don't beat my ass.
I'm not stuck in here.
You're stuck in here with me.
I would find the two biggest, meanest fucking dudes in there.
Just kiss them.
Kiss them right on the mouth.
I'd be like, your mom's getting a new fucking Cadillac.
Your mom's getting a new Cadillac. It's going to be there tomorrow, and nothing's going to happen to me while I'm in here, your mom's getting a new fucking Cadillac. Your mom's getting a new Cadillac.
It's going to be there tomorrow,
and nothing's going to happen to me while I'm in here, right?
Right?
They'd be like, no problem.
Nickelback goes to prison.
Sounds like a great show.
Good reality TV.
It's funny we did that.
We did that, huh?
We did that.
Jim Gaffigan had us on his show.
When he was doing the TV show.
I'm not sure if he's still doing it.
I'm a little out of touch with that.
There's this scene
where everybody gets put in jail.
It's like a dream sequence or something like that.
Everybody gets put in jail
by popular demand
that have really done nothing wrong.
They lose in the court of public opinion.
There we go.
And Gilbert Godfrey's in there. nothing wrong. They lose in the court of public opinion. There we go. And
Gilbert Godfrey's in there.
Yeah, that
Affleck joke. Caratop
was in there. And so everyone who's
just been put into that prison,
for not really doing anything.
So we were in there too.
We wanted to play. He's like, you guys, please come.
Play along. So we
fly to New York. We went to play. He's like, you guys, please come. Like, play along. So we fly to New York.
We went to what jail?
It's right in the middle of the city.
There's a jail.
It wasn't Rikers.
No.
The Tombs?
I can't remember what it was.
I almost went to the Tombs.
No, but it's legit.
Like, the courthouse is across the street.
And you get sentenced, and they take you right across.
And they put us in the jumpsuits.
So we're in the jumpsuits, So we're in the jumpsuits.
And we're in there.
And I'm just like, I don't want to go down.
I just don't want to take a wrong left.
I don't want to accidentally get stuck in population.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And we're in there.
I'm with the band.
We didn't take the suits off. We didn't take the suits off.
And there's a bunch of sheriffs and deputies,
and they're like escorting six prisoners out of the courthouse across the street.
We come out of the thing, and we can see cars coming.
And I run across the street, and I'm in the jumpsuit,
and they think they got a runner.
And all I had to do was get to the RV, which was our dressing room outside.
So I'm running across the street, and two of them go, whoa whoa whoa like this i'm like ah no no this thing came off
ranch i got my civvies on and it was like oh okay sniper
it's also like the most New York
slash LA thing ever where like
the prison has the filming wing
we got a couple of DeSales
kids we have to shoot here
I can just see
this is a movie right here I can see Kevin Hart
in the jumpsuit and he goes in to film
a little bit in the prison but then they actually
get stuck in there
he keeps trying to tell everybody he's Kevin Hart but in their record is like they're like yeah sure you
are yeah kevin hart's taller dude they had the uh like all the bookings are full at the court
like judge can't hear you for six months you're like all right i guess i'm just locking for six
months kevin hart basically did that would get hard that was yeah there you go
uh you guys all all family men?
Married, married, whatnot?
I have a married guy.
Two kids.
Same here.
All the boys.
And then the best girlfriend of all time.
Best girlfriend of all time.
Dude, I've been with her for six and a half years.
That girl's putting up with my shit for way too long.
She deserves so many awards.
All of the awards.
All the medals.
She gets all the trophies.
She's like, I only want one, man.
I don't know how I lucked into this one.
And everybody's just like, dude, does she have a sister?
Your chick is awesome.
Do you get runner up for time spent?
Yeah.
Time served.
Yeah, she's getting time served for sure.
No, but each one of the boys, these guys are great husbands.
These guys could write books on how to rear children.
But each one of them has one boy, one girl.
Millionaire families.
Each one of them.
Yeah, same with Mike, too.
All the same.
We got to handpick our semen when we were actually here.
It's not a sentence I want you to say while you're right next to me.
I don't want to hear, handpick my semen. I'm like, whoa. Sometimes a sentence I want you to say while you're right next to me. I don't want to hear, hand-picked my semen.
I'm like, whoa.
Sometimes twice if I'm bored.
Sometimes if I can't sleep, I'll hand-pick it.
And twice on Sunday afternoon.
Video games, fucking cheesies, and my orange dick.
I thought you wanted to know how the sausage was made.
I don't know.
Again, again.
Come on, man.
Is that a big switch in rock star life when you go from young, single, partying to like you're doing, you know, still touring, still playing, but got a family back at home now?
Easy for me.
It really was.
I've been with my wife for quite a while.
We went to high school together.
Oh, wow. And it was great because when we went on the road,
initially when I was having my son in 2003,
so kind of right when Higher Miami was really flying at that point.
And just getting in the studio for the second album.
And then I had my son a couple of years later.
So they just grew up on the road.
We'd take them on the road with us everywhere.
Oh, wow.
That's pretty sick. We'd just take them to the bus. And then there's like, yeah, years later. So they just grew up on the road. We'd take them on the road with us everywhere. Oh, well. That's pretty sick.
We'd just take them to the bus.
And then there's like, yeah, it's probably more weird for these guys
because literally you have bouncy castles.
Yeah.
Back by stage and a little pool for water, you know, between the pool.
He's ripping it up in one of the rooms down the way.
I've got to tell a story.
I've got to tell a story.
It's like, so I decide I'm just going to play like just a little bit of a, not even so much a prank, but just like a little bit of a joke on Ryan.
And I go to his bus.
And like all our buses were just parked in a row.
And we just finished the show.
And I'm partying on my bus.
So I leave my bus.
And I think this is going to be hilarious.
And I go into his bus.
And I knock on the door.
And he's like, yeah, yeah, come on in.
I go in.
There's the wife.
And it's just like, there's just diapers and Lego and just crap.
Everywhere.
It looked like a kindergarten.
I don't know what it was, but it was just like, it was so domestic.
Well, it made me feel weird.
I got in there and I was just like, oh.
He's like, this is kitchen.
Gross.
Yucky.
I'm just like, domestic-ay.
So I go, I put on the serious face, because the show just ended, right?
I go, buddy, hey, we got to talk You're going to have to come out
We're going to have to have a little meeting here
And he's like, oh, this seems sort of serious
He's like, Trina, I'll be right back, just give me a second
He comes off, I'm like, come here
He goes, what? I go, just come here
He goes, no, no, no, I'm not coming on your bus
I said, you don't have to go on the bus
I'm going to open the door, all I want you to do is poke your head in
I look in, I was having a shirts-off party.
He pokes his head in the bus, and there's 10 women in there that just have beautiful, beautiful breasts.
And it's just like...
Bouncy, bouncy.
Yeah.
He sticks his head in, and he's just like, oh.
Again, he looks at me and he goes, what's wrong with you?
That seems to be a theme throughout your life.
Right? I go, a little different from my bus.
I enjoy staying married.
I do not go on chess bus.
You son of a bitch, man.
I like all my money.
I'm a little chipper.
Oh, God.
I was in Vegas with, and I can't even say his name,
with a Hall of Famer hockey player.
And we are partying.
And he's getting into it.
And he's just kind of having fun.
He's not really doing anything wrong.
But there's a lot of women around, and he's being a little loosey-goosey.
And nobody's going to know who this is.
We'll send it to Wayne.
Nobody will know.
Yeah, exactly.
No one will know.
How will they know? They're going to know know no one will know how will they know
they're gonna know
no one will know
it's one of those
and I look at him
I go
aren't you
aren't you worried
that your wife's gonna
kind of find out
like we're kind of
having a bit of a party here
and you're around
all these women
he goes
like dude
she could take half
he goes
I only need half
I was like
wow
I only need half
that's such a great line I only need half that. That's such a great line.
I only need half that.
Half is still a fuck ton, buddy.
That's great.
No, but I mean, the new stuff is awesome.
And I mean, that sound is, it's so uniquely Nickelback.
And somehow some people, that became a negative.
But I think you have such a distinct sound that people
will always know and remember.
I think it's mostly my voice though.
As soon as
we can have something and we did
it on this record, we'll have this bit going on
and it's like, and Brian will come in and be like
this is cool, it sounds so indie.
Yeah, it does sound indie. Just wait until I fuck it up
by singing on it.
But as soon as I do the whole,
like, Andrew is standing in line,
it's just like, that's it.
There it is.
Brother, that's your voice.
Yeah, don't shit I sound like me.
Someone listens to this podcast,
it sounds like Feinberg.
Yeah, it's Feinberg talking.
What the fuck do you think?
I was doing some sort of search,
just picking up some tidbits, doing research,
and one of the frequently asked,
people frequently ask,
one of them was, why does Chad Kruger
sound like that?
Is that an effect pedal?
I don't know.
Again, so uniquely you.
But like, you know, if I was ever having
a hard time getting into a club or something like that,
and I did a, never made it as a wise man,
they're like, dude, dude, dude, come on in.
That is so fucking cool.
That is so fucking cool.
Pull the lever and that comes out.
That's it.
That's absolutely incredible.
By the way, are you guys Swifties?
I am, yeah.
Yeah?
My daughter is, so I have to be.
Dude, I don't have a daughter and I am.
She's great.
No, she's great.
Dude, do you see she broke Ticketmaster?
Today they canceled her sale tomorrow.
They're like, we don't even have tomorrow.
It's supposed to go on.
She's supposed to do a new batch on sale, and we can't do it.
We can't do it.
It's fucking up.
She broke it.
I kind of like that she broke it.
Yeah, that's why I hear it.
As a consumer, and I imagine as a...
It can really break.
Yeah.
Dude, the Swifties are going to take it down.
If anybody, I think that's awesome.
That is a devout group that she has.
It's wild.
It's crazy.
Is there a Nickelback?
I don't know.
We don't have a name.
You need something.
No.
Nickelbackers.
They're all in the Witness Relocation program.
They're all hiding anyway.
It's one of those things you just sort of whisper to your buddy,
you're going to the show.
It's like when you pull up to a light and you've got nickel back on and like your windows are down you just like turn it down a little bit and you drive when you turn it back up can we find the
video of rocking out before serious to animals it is fucking the exact opposite happens when we
fucking turn it up yeah i think it's i think it's come all full circle. I really do.
I think that the internet has.
I think that people, music fans, everybody is like.
The next generation, too.
We don't even know where this came from and why it was like this in the first place.
Fuck you.
I have a theory that because, like we've talked about this, the teeth have kind of gone away lately.
And I think, and I'm just completely making up bullshit here.
That's what we do on this podcast.
Don't worry.
I'm in the right spot.
Yeah, we talked about
two moons yesterday.
But we were talking about
the beginning of the pandemic.
Tatooine?
Yeah, basically.
The beginning of the pandemic
when it started
and everybody kind of
had to lock down.
And we've seen the data
back then where it's like,
I think it's Spotify.
There was like over,
almost 75% of the music played was like catalog music, they call it.
Like you're going back to listen to stuff that you used to listen to.
Comfort music.
Yeah, and 25% was new stuff.
So it was mostly catalog stuff.
So people were trying to find comfort in old music.
So not just that, but I think the younger generation was discovering it,
and they never lived through the shit.
Yeah, yeah.
So they're kind of like, I would liking it to us where you know i'm growing up and i
listen to you listen to led zeppelin you're like it's great and you listen to like uh you know
older songs like abba oh this is great oh did you hear what happened to abba back then you know
stuff like that you're like oh i didn't know about that i just i just like it i just say mama me i
think that had something to do with it. A bit of a
conflating both, I think.
I would also say, from
my point of view as a fan, I think it's
two things of
one, you leaned into
it in a funny way.
The commercials and just kind of being like, I don't give a fuck.
And two, the longevity
of just continuing to put out
music and hits. You don't run away.
Yeah.
Because there's something about...
But I do think there's something about...
I mean, I've been clowned on the internet before
and everybody's taking their turn.
And when you just keep doing it and don't let the trolls win,
eventually it's like Rocky.
It's like you take a bunch of punches and you're still standing yeah it's like
oh and by the way we also won the belts we're fucking insanely rich wow like
these guys are actually you can't metal like they deserve it you can't just you
can't just like pick away that one or two or three people kind of going at you
it's like it's like having them like trying to try and do back and forth to
someone the Internet's like having a war on jealousy I did it for like 8 years
I finally was like I'm just done
I'll just fucking
put the keyboard down
honestly it's just easier
I thought this story was great
you told this story a little
while ago and I just thought it was hilarious
so his oldest son
who's now out of high school they went at him a little while ago and I just thought it was hilarious. So his oldest son, who's now out of high school,
you know,
they went at him a little bit
and was like,
yeah,
your dad's a guitar player
for Nickelback.
Dude,
that's crazy.
People try to use that
as a pejorative.
Yeah,
but kids will pick on kids
for anything.
It doesn't matter.
It's like,
I luckily had my big nose.
So he got a little bit,
the son gets a little bit of that.
The daughter,
two years later, you know, she's going to all these high school parties.
And he's like, how was the party last night?
And she's like, it was good, except they wouldn't stop playing Nickelback.
You know, like nonstop.
So that's how he knew.
He's like, okay, all right.
This is my time.
You get it, boy.
I'm getting another house.
Fuck. you get it boys I'm getting another house dude fuck that again
insanely rich
insanely fucking rich
we love it boys
thank you so much
thank you
this has been a ton of fun
quick five minutes
if we could just
shoot a video
with you next door
absolutely
cool
high time
out now
high time
those days
San Quentin
all fucking go dude
and don't lie you know you like it.
Thanks, man. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.