KFC Radio - Nikki Glaser Hosted the Golden Globes and Smashed It - Full Episode

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. But Nikki had, like, the perfect level of, I mean, she's obviously incredible at her job, but I thought she had, like, the perfect level of joke where, like, everyone was having fun. And she was jabbing people, but it wasn't like, You're a spaghet and everyone hates you. I knew the minute that she had the Sandman. When you're goofing with Chalamet and calling to Adam Sandler and he's jumping in, I'm like, you are working the room.

Starting point is 00:00:32 Yeah. Today's episode of KC Radio is brought to you by Jack Pocket, America's number one lottery app. Jack Pocket. We hit $1.22 billion over the break. And I had a moment where I was like, I think I'm going to win it. Did you? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:01:02 I just think this is going to be – I said this. I made a video. I said this is your sign to go buy a ticket. It's $1.2 billion. And you need a story to win the lottery. And your story is going to be – I didn't even know the drawing was happening. I was scrolling through Instagram. This guy that I follow told me it was at $1 billion and I bought a ticket and I won.

Starting point is 00:01:19 It's a good story, right? And I was like, well, you're going to have to split it with me because my story is I've always had this obsession with these big, big lottery jackpots. And now all of a sudden Jackpocket is a sponsor and I'm talking about it and I'm buying them. And so I'm going to win. So I had the story and we hit a billion. I had to win. Someone won? California.

Starting point is 00:01:39 It's always California. Do I have to move to California? I always thought it was. A lot of California. I always heard it as like it was always like the South. South is – there's a lot of that. I had no idea. I mean, there's also just a lot of fucking people in California. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:01:51 But I was like, I think this is going to happen. I think this is going to happen. 1.2 billion, bro. It was top five ever. I think it cracked number five. Really? I think the highest got to like 1.7, which is just fucking nutty. So we are back.

Starting point is 00:02:06 We're not at the billions anymore. Let me see where we are at because this shit goes quick these days. That's the good thing is that you'll be back in the 100 millions pretty quickly. Right now, Jackpocket has Powerball at 222, and Mega Millions is a paltry 62 million. So we'll see. We got to get those back up there. We'll see if we can get one of those mega jackpots coming.

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Starting point is 00:03:28 Prize amount may differ at time of drawings. Terms jackpocket.com slash TOS slash free-ticket-promo slash. All right, it's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Back, baby. I could grab you and kiss your skinny little white person lips under that big nose. I could kiss you on the lips. I'm sorry. I'm going to be back.

Starting point is 00:03:51 I took a vacation vacation. First of all, Jackie, a la Huacabana. What? Doesn't Jackie look like a mom? Love that. Whatever it was, love that. A la Huacabana back, baby. A la Huacabana.

Starting point is 00:04:04 Stand up and show your whole face. Oh, what? You look like your mom, dude. Little early for Ramadan, I'd say, but... I've been holding into that for like 20 minutes while Jack has been fixing cameras. Because I saw you doing it. Like, whenever I walk in, you do such an up-down,

Starting point is 00:04:24 and it's so mean every time i was rushing like sorry we need to see the full fix it's not just the top doesn't do it no but it's just it's the white with the sweater vest over it yeah it's very it's very this like this is your vibe. Like, literally exactly it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait. Oh, shit. Do you have a hat? Oh, shit.

Starting point is 00:04:49 No, don't. Do you have a hat like this? Oh, shit. No way. I know I have a hat. No, did I leave it at home? I can't possibly. This is literally your fit right now.

Starting point is 00:05:00 Wait, my hat's so mean. No, I don't have it. You look like the leader of an Islamic center. But it's like a sweater vest. It's just like such a normal thing to wear. Yeah, but with the whites under it. The white underneath and then like the white kind of linen. The white on white is like.

Starting point is 00:05:14 Because they wear like very linen-y, like flow-y. All of my like, I had a blue that didn't, I had like a bright blue and that didn't go with the brown. So I was like, I guess I got to do like a cream. Because the undertones we need like a one of those like scarf things that they wear over it yeah

Starting point is 00:05:28 that would be perfect it's so good to be back yeah that's like before the show it's like no you have to be on camera I had a feeling that I was about to get

Starting point is 00:05:37 roasted up I can't believe I don't have the hat what would what would make you think that we would roast you in your outfit I'm sending you

Starting point is 00:05:44 this picture right now that you must edit into the video you think that we would roast you in your outfit? I'm sending you this picture right now that you must edit into the video. You must. That is a directive from us. Then you guys are like, why do you just wear sweatshirts? Guess what, bitch? You can't win. Welcome to the fucking show.

Starting point is 00:05:59 God damn. Dude, I needed to get back so bad. I needed to get back so bad. I needed to get back so bad. It was like two weeks. It was like two full weeks. It was two weeks. A lot of kids, a lot of family, a lot of downtime. And you know, I mean, I'm the king of downtime.

Starting point is 00:06:15 I've always loved it over the last several years. I really can't do nothing the way I used to do it. But I had that repost of that video. It's crazy. Come stand here and do it's crazy. Come stand here. Yes. Come right here. Go stand right here.

Starting point is 00:06:31 The people need the full look. Jackie will stop in the middle of this and pray towards Mecca. Get your mat out. Do they have like white socks on their like sweater vests? Yeah. Oh, dude, you look straight out of like Zero Dark Thirty right now. Do they have like White socks on their Sweater vests? Yeah Oh dude You look straight out of Like Zero Dark Thirty

Starting point is 00:06:47 Right now There's a scene In Zero Dark Thirty Actually where they're Like meeting And they're like Kidnapping someone I forget

Starting point is 00:06:54 It's kind of like In a garden By a reflection pool And there's 50 guys standing On that pool Who look like you I nailed it though

Starting point is 00:07:02 You look great Honestly It's a great look It's a great look It's a great look It's just Someone already has it No one ever says The imams are not dressed well

Starting point is 00:07:13 Right I look sharp right now I look like a sheep farmer But like There's an occupation Who has this outfit So yeah I mean I'm back We're back i needed i i'm i'm

Starting point is 00:07:27 the king i'm like as i as i'm doing nothing i'm always like i gotta get back yeah then when i get back i'm like i can't wait to get back home and do nothing it's you know when they say that makes sense that's like human nature like i served purpose today i was useful to people today now it's my own time like even there was a couple days where i would just go out and do menial bullshit but it was like i left the house i drove around i returned some shit at the store i don't know whatever i earned being something yes yes yes that that's the main difference i used to be able to wake up and be like i have nothing today and i'm gonna do nothing for 12 18 24 hours keep it going yeah now i'm like i gotta at least pretend that i'm doing something but it's also when people say like live in the present and like i do like the exact opposite of that it's like when i'm working

Starting point is 00:08:14 i want to be off when i'm off i want to be working when i'm with my kids i'm happy i'm like i want i want to see my kids and i see my kids i'm like i gotta get a fucking really kiss yeah like and i and i i trick my it's like every night i was with my kids i was with them like the whole break i was like i can't wait to watch a movie with them tonight they're watching avengers movies yeah yeah you know so we're going through the whole fucking thing and then every next year but every single time we start a movie they just ask questions the whole fucking time and i'm like but i forget it's like i have amnesia i'm like we're watching a movie tonight and the movie starts and i'm like oh yeah wait you know it sucks watching a movie tonight? And the movie starts, and I'm like, oh, yeah, wait.

Starting point is 00:08:45 No, it sucks watching a movie with you guys. This is not enjoyable. You guys don't get anything. Wait, seven and nine? You don't understand how this fucking tech billionaire has a fucking thing implanted in his body that makes him survive? And there's these Russian terrorists who are using his weapons? What don't you get? What is it?

Starting point is 00:09:01 But then we're playing a lot of basketball. So I'm like, all right, let's go to this court. We're going to play some hoops. And I'm like, wait a minute. I have to play basketball. Fuck. I'm sweating. I'm out of shape.

Starting point is 00:09:10 Like, this sucks. So I just, I forget. I trick myself into these things. And then I do them. I'm like, I don't want to do these things. It's like, I can't wait to get back to work. And now I'm here. I'm like, is it time to go home yet?

Starting point is 00:09:21 I kind of want to watch some TV. Literally the polar opposite of like, live in the moment and enjoy, you know. I'm always just like, is this almost done? I didn't even consider doing anything for New Year's Eve. Didn't even consider it. Like it was not even – like people were like, what are you doing? And I was like, what am I doing for what? Like we already did Christmas.

Starting point is 00:09:41 New Year's. I was like, oh, oh. It's like the same thing if people ask me like what am i doing for thanksgiving eve or are you going out for cinco de mayo i'm like i don't even remember these days exist anymore man going out for cinco de mayo like after 17 i was gonna say mid-20s i was gonna say 30 but like you're you're safe in that range you you're going out after 30 is racist, I think. Their culture is not your costume. You're a 36-year-old who celebrates Cinco de Mayo.

Starting point is 00:10:11 It's like, all right, what is your deal? You can kind of do a work happy hour. Yeah. Like, we're going to go out to fucking Chili's across the street and do shots of tequila. It's like, okay, fine. But if you're like, where are we going for Cinco de Mayo? And you have your hats on and shit, your sombreros, you're racist. You can stop being Cinco de Mayo or what have your hats on and shit, your sombreros, new race. Do you stop at Cinco de Mayo or what's it called?

Starting point is 00:10:28 St. Patrick's Day. Stops first. Cinco de Mayo. Cinco de Mayo is just like a JV, an extremely shitty JV version of St. Patrick's Day. St. Patrick's Day also, again, is probably where I'm from. But like, there is people celebrate

Starting point is 00:10:43 the culture of Irish. Obviously, yes, you have young people going out and binge drinking, but from but like there is like like people separate celebrate people just go out to celebrate the culture of irish where like obviously yes you have young people going out and like binge drinking but like some of those go out have a guinness have some like fucking uh so bad or whatever like and like it's go to the parade yeah yeah there's ways to do without just being like a degenerate yeah yeah although that's the main way that's another one that does stop too though it's like i you know people ask me what i'm doing for st patrick's day this year oh nothing the same thing i try to do everything watch tv like i'm not i'm not doing that um but yeah uh being back is is good there needs to be needs to be some order in the goddamn world i don't know man i i belong you've been off the

Starting point is 00:11:20 grid yeah i belong to the mountains. Honestly, it was like... How long have you been there? Two weeks. I was like, I get it. Are you skiing every day? I wake up every day, I go ski. Ski for a couple hours, come home. That's a good, like, now I can do nothing.

Starting point is 00:11:38 Because you really, like, you worked out, you've seen views, you've sweat, you've done it all. And then it's like, now I'm going to fucking do nothing. I wake up, I go to the mountain, probably like nine. I ski to it all. And then it's like, no, I'm going to fucking do nothing. I wake up. I go to the mountain. Probably like 9. I ski to like 1. I come home. Smoke a little weed.

Starting point is 00:11:49 Work out. Smoke a little weed. Write a little bit. Read a little bit. Watch some movies and TV. Make some fire. A regular Ernest Hemingway over here. I was like full blown.

Starting point is 00:12:02 I'd ski for a few hours. Then I'd go watch a little live music Have a drink Come home, smoke some weed and exercise Smoke some weed and write Smoke some weed and watch movies Wake up, do it again I was like this is it

Starting point is 00:12:14 I do think I think the exercise is So clutch as you get older To earn that nothing. Oh, yeah. You know, like that's why I think – I'm turning 40 soon. Honestly – 40 has got to be a change for me.

Starting point is 00:12:33 I think it was one of your videos that said – 40 has got to be a change. Like I think Keegan or Shay said – Shay, that bitch. That bitch. We were making a video. Shay's in her influencer era. She's –

Starting point is 00:12:44 The basketball one. Yeah, yeah. But she's always like fucking around on my TikTok. She doesn't post anything or like view anything, but she just makes TikToks, titles them, captions them, and then deletes them. But she loves them. I don't really watch reels a lot or anything like that, but I watched that one. I love that. That was so funny.

Starting point is 00:13:01 She's like, this is my brother Keegan Clancy, and you know me. I'm Jay. And she's doing the hands like this is my brother keegan clancy and you know me i'm jay yeah and she's doing the like the hands like the girl like young girls do now and that's my dad he's 39 i was like oh hey yeah that was i i always think of us as the same age i heard keegan say that i was like no a lot older than me no we're not not the same age You know what it is? Like when we were younger Our age gap was different I think Like when I was probably like 30 And you were 26

Starting point is 00:13:32 Yeah That's a big difference Yeah I'm getting married Going through kids You're still like young and dumb And we didn't talk as much then So it wasn't as like

Starting point is 00:13:39 Yeah yeah yeah right Right But that I think probably like 35 and 30 We didn't talk face to face as much we talked as much yeah because fucking computer and zoom and all that shit but like 35 31 36 32 i get divorced i'm kind of single again like we kind of like came back together but then i think something

Starting point is 00:13:57 happens because nothing has really changed in my life but like and if anything you're kind of coming more that way but i just feel that the gap of like 40 to 36. You're still barely – you just hit mid-30s. I'm 40. That's gross. It's also like you hit like teenage boy video games and then you hit like old person in a rocking chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We kind of –

Starting point is 00:14:20 So it's like – Yeah. We kind of took like a weird turn. Yeah, yeah. That is true. You hit old person in a rocking chair. We should get you a weird turn. Yeah. That is true. You hit old person in a rocking chair. We should get you a rocking chair. He needs to just be rocking.

Starting point is 00:14:32 That's just a sweater press. Do you got one at the house? A rocking chair? No. I'm sending one up. I do. I've become obsessed. I'm a very much Vermont guy now. This is going to be the girl who studies abroad. What? This is going to be the girl who studies abroad. Huh?

Starting point is 00:14:45 What? This is going to be the girl who studies abroad. Studies abroad. I'm obsessed with jam. I knew it. Maple syrup. Jam. Dude, I make jam.

Starting point is 00:14:53 I don't make it. A little fudge or some shit. I don't know what I make. I make toast and jam every night. It was the best. I can see myself getting into jam. I would like to get in on that action. Dude, I'm doing like pepper jams.

Starting point is 00:15:05 Not even sweet jams. No way. Jam gang, jam gang. All kinds of jams, dude. It's fucking. I'm big on jams and fires. Oh. Fires, I'm like, I just sit by the fire and just like stare at it.

Starting point is 00:15:14 Bro, I am the king of fire. Have been the king of fire since I was like a kid. The amount of money. I'm looking into getting like a cord of wood from like a I don't know lumber Yard or some shit because I just spend money on terra flames and Like a little Actual wood but it's I'm ripping through them

Starting point is 00:15:34 Like it's so much money The house came with wood for the winter Well that yeah It's almost gone There is something I don't know if that is primal like biological

Starting point is 00:15:47 like humans fire need when you see it you're good you know what I mean it's not like I'm cold and I need it

Starting point is 00:15:53 dude I always there was a fucking week where I didn't have any heat because I'm like god damn house it's still not even close to done

Starting point is 00:15:59 but just like it is there's like you look at it it's mesmerizing you feel like there's something to do with that heat versus like your regular heat i don't know there's something going on there it's also i was thinking because like the house is pretty in the middle of nowhere

Starting point is 00:16:13 and i was thinking about it as like when i come home and i had the fire going and i'm like outside walking in i'm like oh it smells so good that's like it like relaxes me yeah and i'm like outside walking in. I'm like, oh, it smells so good. That's like – it like relaxes me. Yeah. And I'm like, this is me from skiing. I imagine if I was like out hunting and foraging for food, the smell of fire would be pretty fucking incredible. Yeah. It's like life. It's like life. Salvation is right there. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:35 Water and fire are here. That's why, I mean, I have to make changes. But I think I'm hitting – like there's such a difference of like wanting to make a change and have to make changes. But I think I'm hitting. Like, there's such a difference of, like, wanting to make a change and needing to make a change. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Like, I would like, for years, I would like to have gotten in shape and whatever. But I'm like, I don't want to.

Starting point is 00:16:58 Now I'm getting to a point where I'm like, I am not doing well. And I need to make changes. So I have to do it. I am happy to announce. I don't know how this happened. I'm off the ice cream. Really? I'm off the ice cream.

Starting point is 00:17:11 I feel like I'm like coming out of like the Betty Ford. I'm sober. I should get a chip. I should really get a chip. Like, I mean, I'm not kidding. You did a fucking good year plus. It's also been like six days though, for the record. What's that? It's been like six days.

Starting point is 00:17:23 So you can't. No, no, no, no. This happened. I mean, it's not that much longer, but I've probably been like a month. Oh, wow. It's not a New Year's thing. It's just like, I don't know. All of a sudden, I just stopped doing it.

Starting point is 00:17:33 I legitimately, I'm not exaggerating, did like a pint of ice cream. I probably had like 800 pints of ice cream in the last couple of years. I mean, I had, what's 365 times two? Like, I definitely had a pint of ice cream in the last couple years i mean i had what's 365 times two like i definitely had a pint of ice cream at night for two years i'm not kidding about that crazy crazy that like it was like a literal addiction like i could not stop myself and then i just me then i just went like you you're eating that much dairy every night i know but dairy has always been like my family we just we do dairy yeah cheese milk i've never had an like when people like i'm lactose or if i have this it's so weird everyone

Starting point is 00:18:11 like turns 30 and can't drink dairy anymore i'm like i could do a gallon of milk i could eat a pint of ice cream i can have a brick of cheese it doesn't that doesn't affect me um but i just went cold turkey one day i had it i mean for a long time every single time i hit that haagen-dazs caramel cone i was like every bite i was like oh was it the same flavor too like you didn't get sick of it haagen-dazs caramel cone every time and then like whenever this was a few weeks ago i ate it and i was like that was good but i i was i was like i don't know take it or leave it and i just stopped wow yeah i don't I don't know. Take it or leave it. And I just stopped. Wow. Yeah. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:18:48 I mean, I probably replaced it with something else. Definitely not. It's not like I'm not snacking. But it ain't fucking 1,500 calories of goddamn ice cream. I mean, I do the same. I don't. It's just a pint of ice cream is extreme. You can have a lot of snacks, but people don't eat a pint of ice cream. I eat as much sugar

Starting point is 00:19:05 And as much calories Right right right Which is like I might as well more spread out But there is something to Like yeah It's like you know You spread it out

Starting point is 00:19:11 You have it like I don't know I just like I feel like in your head Being like I just ate a pint of ice cream I'm a piece of shit Like the mental

Starting point is 00:19:18 Of like knowing That you just ate a pint of ice cream Yeah like when I started You guys shaming me You know like When he's like Yikes It's like, yikes, it's like, okay, well, I gotta, yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:29 It's like, it's like the same thing with drinking. It's like, you know, John thinks you're drinking too much. I'm not drinking too much. So that's a good step in the right direction. So we're back. I mean, we got got a lot we got a lot to jump into um

Starting point is 00:19:49 game time the official ticketing partner of barstool sports i'm going to nix hawks martin luther king day oh with the kids first nix game uh martin luther king day is like a thing for the nix. It's an NBA thing in general. So it's a big game. Is this the kids' first game? Yes. First Knicks game.

Starting point is 00:20:09 They went to baseball games. They have not gone to a basketball game yet. Shea is so gassed up. Did they catch the Rangers? We have not catched the Rangers. We both said catch there.

Starting point is 00:20:18 Yeah. Well, I said it because you said it. Shea is obsessed with the Knicks and I fucking love it Like she is dialed in I told her we were watching Marvel the other night

Starting point is 00:20:29 And I was like but at 8 o'clock the Knicks are on She was like forget the movie I want to watch the Knicks The Knicks Are owned by James Dolan who owns Cablevision He wants you to have cable So guess what's not on any of the fucking Streaming services MSG So you have to have cable.

Starting point is 00:20:45 And then Optimum. I don't have Optimum, but Optimum just dropped MSG because Dolan was like, it's another $15 a month just for MSG. And Optimum was like, we're not doing that. So now Knicks fans everywhere are struggling to watch. So that sucks. So I had to buy a streaming service. It's like $90 a month.

Starting point is 00:21:03 Oh, it's like that Nessun 360 shit? It's like crazy expensive. Yeah. It's just another streaming service. It's like 90 bucks a month. Oh, it's like that Nessun 360 shit? It's like crazy expensive. Yeah, it's just another streaming service. It's not one of the specific sports ones, but it has MSG on it. And I told her, I was like, I don't think we're going to be able to watch, baby. It's on NBA TV.

Starting point is 00:21:16 Then if I buy NBA TV, it's blacked out because we're local. It's just a whole thing. Yeah. She was like gutted. I was like, I will pay $900 a month right now to be able to watch this. But we were watching like she is dialed in.

Starting point is 00:21:28 Like I'm teaching. We call Anthony Towns is talking about the trade. And like the bulls came back. We went to bed at halftime. The bulls, uh, we were up like 12. We ended up losing by like 25 to the bulls stink.

Starting point is 00:21:41 And I told her in the morning, they lost. And she was like, they, what? Like she is in on the Knicks, man. So, game time is hooking it up for me, Keegan,

Starting point is 00:21:50 and Shea to go on, you know, a day where tickets are like, if you want it, like, courtside, it's like legit $5,000 to go on MLK Monday. So, I'm not expecting those, but even to just get in the building, it's going to be pretty expensive. So, game time, hooking it up, getting the best price possible. That's what you want to do, is get the best price and the best

Starting point is 00:22:06 tickets available to any sort of live events, sports, stand-up comedy. You can go get those tickets to Francis and John, concerts, Broadway, any live event where you can't get tickets. Oh, I'm going to Broadway Thursday. What are you seeing? All In.

Starting point is 00:22:22 Mulaney. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what you told. Jacked up. Yeah. So get your tickets through GameTime, and you can use promo code KFC to score great deals. They also have the GameTime Picks, which weeds out all of the, like,

Starting point is 00:22:35 ridiculously overpriced and underpriced and bad seats. GameTime Picks deliver the seats that you want at the prices you want. All easy. All you got to do is hit GTPicks on the app. So download the GameTime app. Use promo code KFC for all the new deals. What time is it? GameTime. Who? want at the prices you want all uh easy all you got to do is hit gt pics on the app so download the game time app use promo code kfc for all the new deals what time is it game time who we're getting there we're getting there we are getting there skip balis is in some hot water

Starting point is 00:22:56 skip balis you think these allegations are true um i from what i've read probably yeah for those who don't know skip balis is amongst the people at Fox Sports who are mentioned in a lawsuit. This former hairstylist said that there was a Fox Sports executive who was touching her and groping her and said, like, you need to fuck me. And then when she didn't, she didn't get her contract renewed. And they said it was a very common thing or at least a well-known thing that he used his position of power to coerce women into having sex um skip was also all over this chick she used to cut his hair like every week and he started he said she he would always find excuses to touch her and like kind of like basically like beg for her she was like i have i have kids don't do that like uh i think she said

Starting point is 00:23:44 like i'm muslim I can't do that. Then she said, I have cancer. She tried to go the cancer route to turn him off. That didn't work for old Skip either. What a dog! You think I won't fuck you because you've got cancer? That ain't deterring nobody, girl! That was like...

Starting point is 00:23:59 She said sometimes she had cancer in hopes to turn off his advances. I was like, that's not going to work for this kid. It's not going to work. Yo, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Do I think that you having cancer precludes you from banging me? No, I do not.

Starting point is 00:24:19 You going that far to try to reject me is what should stop you. You know what I mean? I'll be honest. It would work for me. If you were like, I have cancer, I'd be like, oh. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Is that honorable or despicable? I think it is.

Starting point is 00:24:38 Is John not? Think about that. Is John being like, oh, you have cancer. Oh, fuck you. Sounds chivalrous. But the way he cells in your body, your body is rotting and turning on you. I'm not fucking you. I always think that.

Starting point is 00:24:52 And it's actually very funny. I think that's despicable. Is it? I don't know. It's very honorable. But also, what if a girl liked you and was like, well, you fuck me. And you were like, you have cancer. No.

Starting point is 00:25:03 Yeah, like if my wife gets cancer, see you later. Yeah, that ugh is well you fuck me and you were like you have cancer no that's yeah like if my wife gets cancer see you later yeah that is where you lose me like it could be right right right but that's what i mean a girl is there not something gross about a sick person we're talking about the ultimate that's where this is the ultimate sick person i mean i don't want to be it comes with so much like I'm going to care for you and like Jesus that's the worst thing

Starting point is 00:25:30 you could have said about that now I have to care I have to have emotions for you like yeah it's a whole thing now but it depends I'm signing up for a whole thing now this is

Starting point is 00:25:37 it depends on the angle you're coming literally for sickness and health is like the first the first thing you agree to the wife thing was I don't have a wife the wife thing was a bit of a joke if i'm like like a bit like not really but like if i'm working through suitors one's got cancer one doesn't i'm picking them the one without cancer's got leg up

Starting point is 00:25:56 not driving the lemon off the lot i mean i know ahead of time but i think there's a massive difference. If a girl is like, I like you. You're great. We're compatible. By the way, I have cancer. And you're like, get the fuck out. You're despicable. If a girl is like, stop, stop it. I don't like you.

Starting point is 00:26:18 And I have cancer. Then you have to respect her cancer wishes. Yeah. So it all depends on what angle she's coming from. But I actually weirdly recently watched the Sonny episode, Charlie's Got Cancer. And I was thinking, I was like, this wouldn't work. Because that's not going to turn anyone on.

Starting point is 00:26:33 He's pretending to have cancer to get banged by a waitress. But girls maybe with the whole, I'm going to save them, fix them, that sort of thing? Again, I can't relate to wanting to save someone or fix somebody. So I don't know. Like, I like them. Well, okay. Let's say you like them in perfect.

Starting point is 00:26:48 I said pretty perfect. Okay. Let's say you, let's say you, you know, had a guy, found a guy. He's great. But he's like, I got cancer. Is that changing things for you? It should. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:57 It's crazy. It's a huge thing. It should really change things. Yeah. But, but would you just be like, all right, I'm out. Yeah. This is what I'm saying that's the like you guys are dirt bags you guys are dirt bags i'm for sure getting caught up in that going to the i'm going to your funeral i'm meeting your family if it happens yeah i'm getting roped in i mean i'm proposing we're marrying i'm holding your

Starting point is 00:27:23 hand while you die I'm raising your kids and you know yeah no it's what were you gonna say I'm sorry I don't know

Starting point is 00:27:31 I just but that's why it's because I don't want to get emotionally attached and then be like well that was for yeah I'm on the record

Starting point is 00:27:39 as telling people like I was always like if I get in a car crash and I'm paralyzed if I get cancer like you go don't fucking stick around but then the person's always like i'm not gonna do that oh yeah but again they want to they just don't want to be known as the guy who ditched the girl i'll dump you i'll handle

Starting point is 00:27:52 this right right that it's one of those classic like this mess right i'm i'm i'm i'm firing you i was gonna say because you know you're not gonna do it yourself uh but so skip allegedly you know none of those none of those things deterred him and then he allegedly offered her 1.5 million dollars for sex now on the one hand skip balis has got it like that so 1.5 is probably like within the realm of possibility just blow it on some pussy on the other hand that seems like a crazy number for just like i mean i don't want to be rude but like it's just it's not we're not talking like kate beckinsale yeah some fucking like hollywood you know you're not it's not kim kardashian that you're like begging for a night with it's just like a hairdresser that like so if that number is true that man has like

Starting point is 00:28:42 a sickness if you're putting out 1.5 million just to have sex with some random woman, that's crazy. It should be crazy. People are always kind of like tax billionaires, yada, yada, yada, trying to figure out new tax brackets and stuff. If you've offered someone seven figures for sex, you're an index. Tax the pervert. You have too much money. You can't be offering seven figures for sex. I'd rather you blow it on regular partying and drugs and shit like that before you just offer some random fucking hairdresser

Starting point is 00:29:09 $1.5 million for sex. I said that better come with a $1,999,000 lottery ticket. I'll pay you a regular prostitution amount of money. You're just a hairdresser. Everyone's got 40% until you're trying to fuck for $1.5 million. 99.

Starting point is 00:29:24 Now you're taxed for the fucking g5 99 all right you got busted man yeah now you're taxed for the fucking gills now the other thing was that she went to joy taylor who is the host and moderator of undisputed right thanks first take undisputed one with shannon sharp and skip and that was around and joy taylor said get over it uh and then in the all of the lawsuit filings there was also just this like quick detour i guess to to show that charlie dixon the the executive at fox news does this kind of stuff i guess that was the point but there was this quick little detour that was like skip balis did not want joy taylor to be the host of undisputed she was a radio host and like a and worked at a bar or something like a bartender and he was like she's not good enough and charlie dixon was like go to dinner with her i think that. She's a bartender. And he was like, she's not good enough.

Starting point is 00:30:05 And Charlie Dixon was like, go to dinner with her. I think you'll like her. They went to dinner and he was like, I still don't want her. And then Charlie Dixon was like, you have to do this as a favor to me, which I think,

Starting point is 00:30:13 I don't know if the rest of the lawsuit said it explicitly, but that section that I saw, obviously reading between the lines, it sounds like he said, had slept with her and then gave her the job because of that. So it's like, that's what Charlie Dixon does. So Jerry, Joy Taylorlor is now you know she slept away the top and she's telling female

Starting point is 00:30:30 colleagues get over it that you're being harassed skip is offering 1.5 milli for sex he's got charlie dixon's firing you if you don't bang him fox who knew i mean the the you know this the shining star that is the institution of Fox not handling things correct. Who knew? I like the guy who just sexually harasses everyone, but he can't get fired because he supplies everyone coke. I like that guy. He's like, I know. I got this shit on my... I got the hookup, and I got all the dirt.

Starting point is 00:30:59 All the dirt. All the body. I forget. I obviously didn't read the full filing, but the highlights I read was like, I forget his name. It was something. But he's just a behind-the-scenes guy who just sexually harasses everyone. And he never gets disciplined because he supplies everyone with cocaine.

Starting point is 00:31:15 And then Manuel H.O. deleted his accounts. But is there word on him, or he just was like, I'm out of here? Was he named and implicated? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. No, he was banging Joyicated yeah oh yeah okay he was banging joy taylor oh okay okay at the same time she was banging dixon she i mean i think of emmanuel

Starting point is 00:31:30 h.o and she's banging it's that's okay yeah oh yeah yeah you know it's maybe not a great job like career-wise like it's just like i think she told it's when you're fucking somebody above you and getting a job because of it that's no bueno bueno. Although, I don't know. It's like I was watching the Golden Globes, right? And Gal Gadot was on screen. And I was like, that woman, she stinks as an actress. But my God, is she beautiful. And so she's going to get roles. You got what you got.

Starting point is 00:31:59 You use what you use. You know what I mean? It's a little bit of a false equivalency. But it's like, I don't know. The game's the game, bro. I mean, it sucks for the person who doesn't get the job. That's the real problem. In the Emanuil Acho part, it was like, I think Joy Taylor told the hairdresser, I forget her name, that she was sleeping with Emanuil Acho.

Starting point is 00:32:20 Machine Faraji. Machine Faraji. She was sleeping with Eman emmanuel acho so he would recommend her for okay that gets a little dicey to speak for yourself which i think is the show that she's on and then there was just an outright tweet like like camera to video tweet from emmanuel acho being like joy taylor is the right person for speak for yourself that's why he deleted everything. Part of me deleting is never the answer. I think deleting the whole account is the answer. Deleting these individual tweets, you're fucked, but it's gone.

Starting point is 00:32:56 And then it's just like, I'm in Vermont. I don't know what you're talking about, bro. That's a spicy one, though. Of all that's true, Skip Bayless, what's Ern ernestine gonna think i yeah that's not good he she that woman needs to divorce that guy when he came out was like i told her you will always be second to sports coverage i was like god damn i mean i get it when you're like a superstar in any field work but like phrase it as like work comes first when you're like sports cover he said the way he said it was like I need to cover LeBron James more than love you god damn he uh I remember he had like a Washington Journal or Washington

Starting point is 00:33:37 Post Wall Street Journal something like that profile a couple years ago about how he has this is all from memory so something's a little sketchy maybe, but he has an apartment in New York that he keeps just to eat Chinese food in on Wednesday nights. And everyone's like, this is so wild. This is so weird. He's fucking chicks in it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:33:57 I mean, he's not. Come on, bro. Ernestine's not like, yeah, Skip's got that Chinese food place, that little flop house for his chinese food in the city like that i never ernestine's been pretty well aware that that skip's been banging for a while now for real and i must say i there are you know it's never a surprise when someone of means money power fame is having sex with someone skip you've seen those pictures of shirt shirt off these guys kind of like that vince mcmahon body

Starting point is 00:34:31 yeah it's like oh can you imagine like skip bail is like talking during sex like come on he also leaves his you know he's always wearing those jordans i feel he leaves those on skip bail is wearing a pair of patent leather leather Jordan 11s while he's banging you. He's definitely guilty just because he's done this. Like him going on PMT finally. In retrospect, his actions over the last two months have been like, let me try and get people on my side. Very diddy. Like the last year was like he put out an album been like let me try and get people on my side very diddy like the last year

Starting point is 00:35:06 was like he put out an album he gave everyone their rights back to their music a whole bunch of shit that was like I gotta get this music out

Starting point is 00:35:12 I gotta try to become the hero cause I know what's coming down the tracks that makes a lot more sense for sure yeah I mean like just going on PMT in and of itself

Starting point is 00:35:21 is obviously after all these years it's like why would you do that but after all these years like why are you going on now? Yeah. Oh, because you're trying to sway some opinions. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:29 You probably should save that for about a year from now. Right. Lay low for a little bit, then come back, and people go, hey, he was kind of cool on BFD. Yeah, he was funny. Now it's like, you kind of wasted your bullets. I just – it's like – listen, tail is old as time. It's never going to stop. There's always going to be guys making advances on girls.

Starting point is 00:35:47 Girls are going to sleep with people to get to the top. None of this is new. It'll always go on. But when they describe it, it's like he was like grabbing her hands, being like, please, why don't you come home with me? And she was like, look, there's cameras around, people around. I was just like, you're just doing that? It's like, I'm Skip Baylor. Right.

Starting point is 00:36:04 I built this place. King Kong got shit on me. I hate Dancing on Grace, but I hate everyone at Fox. You hate who? Huh? What'd you say? I just hate everyone at Fox.

Starting point is 00:36:13 Yeah, man. Not a political thing. I just don't like their... No, no, no. I just mean Fox Sports. None of them have ever been entertaining to me. I don't think any of them are.

Starting point is 00:36:22 It was always kind of like a XFL. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To like like espn you know what i mean uh shannon sharp i actually take that shannon well but shannon's also i don't think like he is shannon sharp now yeah the way he'd like joe rogan joe rogan they're like he's like his own club shea shea and all that is like i don't even know does he does he do like uh does he do like a sports show anymore like i don't i think he just does like his show he's on no, he's on First Take. He's on with Stephen A. Oh, right, right. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:49 Right, right, right. I don't even think of him as that anymore. No. I guess he still is. I'm sure he catches a fat check for it. He left Fox Sports because he's talented. And he was like, fuck Skip Hillis. Right?

Starting point is 00:36:59 He was like, I don't like this guy. But like, he is. Joy Taylor, I never found particularly interesting. Emmanuel Acho, Skip, Nick Wright. Colin Coward. don't like this guy but like he is joy taylor i never found particularly interesting emmanuel ocho skip nick right um coward coward like i fucking jason mcintyre none of those people ever was i like oh they have interesting points so i'm happy to see him fail and i mean oh i want to see you crash it we'll see where it all goes um i do think that kind of this might be what you're saying but like if you're a girl and you go out of your way to sleep your way to the top

Starting point is 00:37:27 that's talent like that's see we're feminists because you have to have like a certain level of confidence a certain like

Starting point is 00:37:35 willing to risk it all like I don't think I don't have it in me to sleep my way to the top I don't have that talent but like some girls are like I'm gonna go

Starting point is 00:37:41 straight to the fucking top I respect that I want that and that's a way to get I don't think I've ever loved to take more than it takes talent to fuck your way to the top because you know what not wrong it's absolutely diametrically wrong but it also is not you have to be built different like you have to but it's one of those things if like if you just put that that uh confidence into your work yeah you know it's like it's one of those things if like if you just put that confidence into your work. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:06 You know, it's like Bernie Madoff running the scam. It's like just put that into the stock market, that effort. You'll probably be good. Yeah. But there's something to be said for like – No, but like that's just like – I'm going to fuck this guy and then fuck this guy and then like I'm going to hold it over their head. Like I've always thought it's pretty crazy to be the girl who's like –

Starting point is 00:38:24 go to someone who's very powerful rich whatever and be like i will fucking burn you down and then you know they're like okay here's the job or they could be like i'm gonna have you killed you're gonna end up in a car accident you know what i mean it's just like that that's it's extreme but it's just it it takes a certain level of like you don't give a fuck to go pressure someone like that you You could like also like I get it. You could put that energy into your work. But also like the biggest, biggest business moguls are like finding new ways to do things. It's a new way.

Starting point is 00:38:51 It's a new way of innovation. It's an old way, babe. It's an old way. It's an old way, but it's like a back. Pardon the pun. It's like a backdoor way. You do that, you go right to the top. I actually thought about it in the stuff I was reading.

Starting point is 00:39:05 I was like, God, she does have an insane amount of confidence, Joy Taylor. And I follow her on Twitter, so I've seen her always quote tweeting people who say she's a nepo baby and trying to dunk on them and all this shit. And she's not because she seems like she was using her body differently. But she also kind of is because to have that kind of confidence, She's not because she seems like she was using her body differently. But she also kind of is because to have that kind of confidence at like 10 years ago comes from being like, well, my brother was in the NFL. Yeah. There's just something you carry yourself. Having that kind of confidence as a nobody is crazy.

Starting point is 00:39:41 In the filing, she's explaining to the hairdresser. She's like, no, I'm fucking this executive. And I'm going to, when I get, when he finally promotes me, and then I'm just going to say he sexually assaulted me. And, like, she was just telling me. Wow. I didn't read all that. That's crazy. It was like, I'm going to say he forced him.

Starting point is 00:39:58 When he tries to fire me, I'm just going to say he forced himself on me. And then when the hairdresser found out she was banging Emmanuel Acho as well as well she told her she's like this is probably a good idea to be banging both these guys okay wait i didn't also i didn't know that and she was like she was like oh please i have a ton of power now don't worry about it i can fuck wherever like all that stuff like that and i was like to have that kind of confidence is crazy it's like it's like um it's like office space like you've got upper management written all over you, girl. This is what it takes to become an evil billionaire. Joy Taylor might become president.

Starting point is 00:40:32 Because you're just that wired. I'm different. I'm her. I'll fuck all you and burn this place to the ground. I'm Joy Taylor. Okay, for the record, I don't condone blaming sexual assault on other people. That's not Bill's opinion. Yeah, no, if you're going to fuck somebody to the top, do it with the Koran.

Starting point is 00:40:47 You do it with integrity, what? Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Did you say that's in the Koran? That is not what the Koran preaches. Islam is a piece. It's so spot on. No, but you're right that like

Starting point is 00:41:06 fucking your way to the top not admirable but just like happens you know entrapment sexual harassment entrapment no bueno yeah just like you know suck the skin off that executive's dick until he's like you can have whatever you want. You earned it. Being like accusing someone of sexual assault when they didn't do it, not cool. Again, speaking of the confidence. So when she, this is like 10 years ago, when she was banging Dixon, I think his name was.

Starting point is 00:41:38 Charlie Dixon. Charlie Dixon. She was engaged. And they all went to dinner. To go out to dinner with. Crazy. It was her and her fiance, Dixon and his wife they all went to dinner. To go out to dinner with... Crazy. It was her and her fiancé, Dixon and his wife, all went to dinner. And at dinner, her fiancé was like, well, you're clearly banging this guy.

Starting point is 00:41:54 And they got divorced right after. No way. No. I think she was recently married. So she was recently married. And the guy was like, well, you guys are clearly banging. And they got divorced. And then she was engaged to a new person,

Starting point is 00:42:06 I think someone who played in the NBA, a name I didn't recognize, though, when she started banging Emmanuel Acho, and that dude found out, and is like, dude, stop putting the people you're banging in the same room together. Or, like, whatever you're doing when you're around these guys, everyone knows you're banging. Like, just don't flirt with them and talk, you know what I mean? You sit down to dinner, and it's like, oh, these two are fucking. Oh, you're married to her? flirt with them and talk. You sit down to dinner and it's like, these two are fucking. You're married to her?

Starting point is 00:42:28 I thought I was going to marry her. What's going on here? She's a scary one. She's a succubus. Those girls are dangerous. I had a girlfriend once who used to outright say, I'm a succubus.

Starting point is 00:42:46 I'd be like, word, word word let's go to dinner i mean yeah you know it when you're stuck you would say it like proudly she's like i'm a succubus and i was like i don't know what that means what does that mean it's like a i found out jackie yeah a siren it's like i'm gonna you know use my feminine wiles to manipulate you. It's crazy that it's called the succubus. It's like S-U-C-C-U-B-U-S. Yeah, it's Jezebel. It's succubus. It's siren. There's like 40 words for it because they just need to keep coming up with words

Starting point is 00:43:15 to describe women who will prey upon men and fuck them. Oh, I always thought it was like a little tiny organism. No, I don't think so. Really? Oh, I mean, it might be like something that preys upon, I don't think so. Really? Oh, I mean, it might be like something that preys upon. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:43:28 Let's see. I think succubus is like a female demon. Yeah. Oh, I honestly always pictured it in my head as like a cell. No. A little centipede that would like eat up. According to folklore, a succubus needs semen to survive. Oh, my God.

Starting point is 00:43:45 I'm a cod. I'm a cod. I could marry her. Repeated sexual activity with a succubus will result in a bond being formed between the succubus and the person. And the succubus will drain or harm. I mean, it's literally women and men. Like, that's it. It's like, I need semen.

Starting point is 00:44:00 You want to give semen. Let's go. And then I've got you and I will suck the life out of you. But you can't stop because you want to give semen let's go and then i've got you and i will suck the life out of you but you can't stop because i want you want to keep giving me cum i always thought of it as like like i thought about on a cellular level that it was like something like almost like a janitor succubus is a good hard-hitting word like i was thinking donald trump i wonder how much of that has to do with like donald trump trump for sure har. Trump is a name like, you know. Trump, Donald Trump. Suck you, bus.

Starting point is 00:44:29 Yeah, but the fact that there's all those words for like women that you should stay away from because they will wreck you. It's been going on for a long time. It's the new year. Everyone's trying to do their healthy thing. It's not easy. It's hard. People are busy. You don't have a lot of time.

Starting point is 00:44:45 That is where Or orgain comes in orgain makes 30 grams of protein shakes one shake 30 grams of protein that is crazy actually that's like all you need right there you hit a 30 gram shake you got all of your protein i believe 30 grams would be 75 percent what i think it be 75% of what you need. Of what? Of daily intake? I think so. In one shake, bro? That is...

Starting point is 00:45:09 Even for a woman, that's like 25%. Or that's... 30 grams of protein is a lot. So if you're on the go, if you're busy, you got kids, you got work, you don't have time to cook, you don't have time to make your protein meals, you don't have time to cook. You don't have time to make your protein meals. You don't have time to hit the gym necessarily, do all the things that you really want. Organe is the best way to get that source of protein, that source of nutrition all in one easy shake. You're never too busy to just drink a shake.

Starting point is 00:45:40 And they taste great. They provide you all the nutrition you need, all the protein you need, and in this new year where you're trying to do things differently, but I always believe in setting reasonable goals rather than be like, I'm going to run 10 miles a day. It's like, no, you're not. But if you're going to be like, I'm going to drink an organe shake per day instead of having this breakfast or this dessert or whatever,

Starting point is 00:46:00 get 30 grams of protein in that way, that is a great first start. There's no quick fixes to your health, but you can certainly start with, uh, or an organe, uh, with an organe shake. So head to organe.com slash KFC, use code KFC and get 30% off your entire order as the best offer you're going to get for one of the best, uh, protein nutrition supplements out there. So organe.com slash KFC promo code KFC for 30% off your 30 gram shakes today. Golden Globes were last night. I can't imagine a better feeling than Nikki Glaser right now. Although, I mean, she like just had this happen with the roast.

Starting point is 00:46:40 But I feel like this is just like on a whole like another level up. Yeah, she wasn't the host of the roast. She was the star of the roast. But this is just like on a whole like another level up yeah she wasn't the host she was a star of the roast but this is like she is i would be interested to see though because she said the the viral reaction to the roast was like overwhelming i wonder if which one is bigger right now i would guess the roast i would think so too because it was like you're coming out and now it's like we know who you are but there was still a lot of like the new york post was writing like who is nikki glazer like find out all about the hosts like i i forget sometimes that we live in a world where like i don't know to me it's like who is nikki glazer she's been around forever she's been like successful forever but there are still people

Starting point is 00:47:15 who are just tuning in on cbs for the first time being like who the fuck is that yeah but also the brady roast i bet got way more viewers than the golden globes like yeah yeah i would i would get but it's like different you know what i mean it's like a whole. Yeah. But it's like different demographics. You know what I mean? For sure. It's like a whole group of people. Maybe it's not as big but it's just more people who don't know who you are

Starting point is 00:47:30 and you start to get in with like, you know, if CBS, ABC, NBC, these people are like, you know, we want you to host the Oscars next.

Starting point is 00:47:36 You just keep going up. But also like the Globes have like people who are just tuning in just to see who's winning and all that stuff and like they're aware i think most people who watch the golden globes are aware of like performances yeah whereas people

Starting point is 00:47:51 who are tuning for the roast of brady were probably like oh funny chick yeah what the hell dude it's so funny you said that i i was i said about whitney cummings on cnn uh because i know that there was a bunch of people who were like my in the video, I was like, me don't think women funny, but me like make fun of CNN. I don't know what to do now. That must have broke brains because she went in there and like clowned CNN and clowned Democrats and all of that. So I'm sure there were people who were like, I think I like her. What's going on? She went nuts.

Starting point is 00:48:22 She went ham too. She deserves some props. That final minute where she was like, I'm just going gonna say all the shit that i don't think i'm allowed to say and they kept letting her go and she was like can i i'm still going she's like please stop me andy please stop me that was great though i thought she uh that is a uh new thing that they've been trying out in different things nikki did it with thursday night football yeah it's like do a minute of stand-up with no audience no reaction that's hard yeah but if you're just like you have to really know that your jokes are funny and i feel like nikki and and

Starting point is 00:48:52 and whitney know that so it's like there's no laughs right now but it's i know this is good so i'm gonna do it so i think that takes a certain level of confidence but um i think the golden globes is perfect too because it's by the way, I think what you're saying about the Nicki and Whitney on CNN and Nicki on Prime. I remember I said it probably six months ago when we had Akash on. And I was talking about being where my parents are from in the middle of nowhere and seeing local restaurants having stand-up comedy nights. Yeah. And I was like, I think I said it and i was like i think i said i was like this comedy bubble's about to burst you notice it when like other industries are like

Starting point is 00:49:30 starting to siphon it having like the cnn's and the and the well the primes start doing stand-up comedy like oh yeah we're on our way down yeah yeah i mean well comedy's in a weird spot like that where it's like it's it's bigger than ever and making more money than ever. But then it gets watered down. Not that obviously Nikki and Whitney are like two greats. But I mean, like when other industries start being like, oh, we can make money with that is when it's going to get like oversaturated, which we probably – it probably already is. Both of them, like Whitney was – as big as Whitney is and however long she's been around, she was definitely experiencing like a here's the woman from CNN's New Year's thing. But they've also probably always done like – they've always had some kind of personal light in the mood. So I'm probably wrong.

Starting point is 00:50:15 Yeah, I was going to say the CNN thing is like their thing is now that New Year's special with Andy and Anderson. So it is like a little bit comedy. It's like you're putting on a comedy show. Ity show right right um but like i the golden globes i think is good because it's i think it's like a little bit more limited of a role of hosting right it's not like they cut back to you every single time you know what i mean the globes yeah they come back pretty often i feel like the problem with like the oscars and some of those other ones is like you're seeing these people like that's like, oh, the fucking time. Just keep some of the – sometimes it just goes from presenter to presenter.

Starting point is 00:50:48 You know what I mean? I think that's a good thing. They do that at the Globes too. But I think it was as often as you see any host. I think that she – the article I read right before it, she was like, I know I'm going to smash this. She was like, I put in an obsessive amount of work. Well, she also did a great job in PR beforehand. Because she was like, I feel like after Ricky Gervais, everyone always wanted like a pound of flesh from the crowd.

Starting point is 00:51:15 They're like, go out there and fucking embarrass those celebrities. Who do you think they are? And then that obviously gives a weird tension in the room where you're like, well, I want to be laughed at where I'm laughing with you. I don't want to have a public lashing, a public display of being torn apart. But I'm down to play. And I feel like there were like 10 years where it was just like, everyone would be like, get Ricky Gervais back. He's the only person who would call him fucking scumbag pedophile through their faces.

Starting point is 00:51:43 We're going to have this party to celebrate these people. Fuck them! And you're like, no shit. And you're like, no shit. No one's into it. This isn't fucking fun. Yeah, that was a little of the problem last year, too. It was like some of the jokes were like...

Starting point is 00:51:53 But Nikki did a great job in the two weeks leading up to it being like, we're having fun. Like, I think I even saw a quote from her where it was like... Ironically, the Ricky Gervaises are kind of the ones taking it too seriously. Right, right. You know what I mean? It's like, I don't know know we're just here yeah this is we're a bunch of rich pretty people and we're just like giving out awards like i love when people get mad about the idea of it like it's just rich people celebrating themselves but then they'll go off to like their salesman of the year conference in boca like it's the same fucking thing dude

Starting point is 00:52:19 it's the same fucking thing they're just hotter and richer than you right um and it's like guys this is the weekend of the year bro like salesman of the year boys like live it up it's the fucking annual event celebrating your profession and also you know you love tv and movies and all that shit it's like you love this whole fucking world until they like say like hey this is a you know let's celebrate this like fuck you but nikki had like the perfect level of like i mean she's obviously incredible at her job but i thought she had like the perfect level of – I mean she's obviously incredible at her job, but I thought she had the perfect level of joke where everyone was having fun. And she was jabbing people, but it wasn't like, you're a scumbag and everyone hates you. I knew the minute that she had the Sandman.

Starting point is 00:52:57 When you're goofing with Chalamet and calling to Adam Sandler and he's jumping in, I'm like, you are working the wrong way. And even little corny things, and this is a testament probably to the writing team and he's jumping in. I was like, you are working the room. And even like little corny things, like, and this is, you know, a testament probably to the writing team and everybody who comes up with it. Like they had that scoreboard for. Oh, that was great. You know, like, that's a guy like a corny little bit, but I was like, that's funny. God's been mentioned zero times. Your mom twice, fans 11 times, whatever.

Starting point is 00:53:19 Like that was funny. They were like three separate times where I was like, I started to cringe. I was like, oh, she's throwing a perfect game and she's going to fuck it up with the song. And then she flipped it on me and she's like, oh, this is dumb. It felt like it's also, it wasn't, it could have gone either way. Because you're going to be popular is funny and Nikki's got a great voice. So like it was good. And then, but then her cutting it off herself was like, ah, she's fucking reading the room.

Starting point is 00:53:45 And by the room, I mean like the audience, including the viewers at home. She's reading it perfectly right now. She went right to Howard Stern in the morning to do some press there. So I feel like you do the Globes, you hit the after party, you go do Howard for a few hours. She probably walks out of there at, I don't know, like 10 a.m. whenever he ends. Dude, you talk about earning the right to do nothing. Can you imagine that feeling? The feeling of like, I got this gig probably a year ago.

Starting point is 00:54:12 I've been obsessively working on it. Hype and pressure and all that. I fucking nail it. I party. I hit Howard. I go home. I wouldn't do shit for like six months, man. Be like, see you later.

Starting point is 00:54:28 Although now is probably the time it's like, I gotta go do a movie. I would just keep going until you fucking kill yourself in the bathtub. Eventually, it's just too much. The pressure's too much. But shout out to her. That was sick. Dude, I have not been as mad at my television. Jets games aside, than that fucking French guy giving long-ass speeches with his interpreter.

Starting point is 00:54:54 That was crazy. If you don't speak English, you don't speak the language of the show, you get up there, you say thank you and good night. See, I actually had the opposite reaction where i was loving it because it was so clear he's funny and she was butchering it like like they were i was like she's not the whole time i was like she's not delivering it right if she said that i bet he said that funny i think you're giving that guy the benefit of the doubt no way dude when he took out his fucking note card and he said he's superstitious so he didn't have anything prepared as he was taking a note card out.

Starting point is 00:55:26 That's fucking funny. Obviously it's very hard to deliver funny through a translator. That's good. And then he got back up there and did it again though. I think it was him. He said his second time he was very brief and then he called someone else up. She wasn't great either.

Starting point is 00:55:40 I was like, put Selena Gomez on the mic. Let someone else fucking talk through this no selena gomez got roasted because she she like did a show or like some kind of spanish show and then everyone was like wait i don't know how to finish at all it was apparently terrible it was this movie that won a shitload of awards last night yeah um which i had no idea the premise of that that's a fucking weird movie i still haven't i haven't seen it um it's like a drug lord transitions to hide right it's it's i honestly don't even really know i know it's like musical

Starting point is 00:56:11 and all kinds of shit i don't really know much about it but that was that was the movie that like that's he directed it he wrote it i was stunned when wicked didn't win yeah you know it's just like it's wicked's year nope it was crazy nate had a great tweet whereas like they they had the blockbuster award yeah i mean i i think wicked probably had the biggest box office no i bet dune did but the uh question i thought if you're giving out a movie for like blockbusters twisters was the blockbuster no way oh what no for yeah for a definitive blockbuster yeah for sure what do you mean what do you call like an action movie okay like bangs no but i don't think that's what necessarily blockbuster means i think i think block i think i well yes and i know how

Starting point is 00:56:55 you're describing it i think their turn there is like most popular yeah no i i know that but like when you're using the term blockbuster uh i would like a category like that it needs to be like best bad movie yeah no you're right it's just highly popular and financially successful yeah that's what i think they mean but but we use it as like you know michael bay movies are black yeah yeah but i just for all the talk of wicked i mean they won one but that's you know not good well shogun won a thousand things that That show's awesome. The only problem with Shogun is, and this is the reason I haven't finished it, you've got to read the whole fucking time. I mean, it's in a different language. But it's one thing when there's different languages in shows

Starting point is 00:57:36 and you can kind of every now and then. But it's like you cannot be on your phone. You cannot be distracted. You cannot watch with kids. You cannot have anything else to do. You've got to read the fucking whole – damn, it's like reading a book. It's awesome, but you got to really commit to it, other things. Wicked did beat Twisters, but did not beat Dune 2.

Starting point is 00:57:54 In money. Yeah. Yeah. I guess that checks out. But also like the first four are all cartoons. Also Wicked just came out. Yeah, but I would guess – Most of their money is in.

Starting point is 00:58:03 Most of their money is in. Yeah. I also wonder – It was what a month ago oh yeah because you're only there for a couple it was like a month and a half yeah i uh i also wonder if there's a little bit of uh we know part two is coming and we'll like give them their due then yeah that kind of sucks for them now but like it might just be like you get a second shot amelia perez does not i love colin farrell's speech his look his his speech his delivery the way like to joke to go up there and be like it was all me yeah i did great and then to hit like the craft services people and just give all the credit to the to the it's it's like it's not hard you know what i mean

Starting point is 00:58:42 the fact that so many people you it. It's just step one. Have an Irish accent. Yeah. Be super handsome. Look entirely different from your fat, gross character. Dude, the best was the – He's so hot. I said it while you were watching.

Starting point is 00:58:56 I know I'm not unique here. I'm not the only person alive who thinks it. But that's the coolest man in the world. Yeah, he's awesome. He is. Because he's also – he had some down – Oh, oh yeah he was a big time addict for a while yeah you gotta have some some grit too yeah it's like i don't know about big time addict but he was a young hot guy in hollywood who made a shit load of money yeah and is sober now right right right

Starting point is 00:59:17 and then smashed it with penguin oh sorry what public figure do you think it's referenced most in songs great question i think it's jordan i think it's referenced most in songs great question i think it's jordan i think it's michael jordan well it's god well no other than god uh i said god that i looked at you and thought, oh. Is that what they – is that all? That's a great question. I wonder if there's, like, an AI way to do this. Like, ask them.

Starting point is 00:59:53 But AI never fucking works, by the way, for me. Like, I do that AI, the chat GPT shit. Like, I was just making a video, and all I wanted to do was find out how many games the Steelers have won since 2022. Because I was comparing – like, Steelers fans want to get rid of mike tomlin yeah because he can't like take the next step but it's like he's always they're always in playoff contention that's stability right versus the giants who are like we need to have stability it's like your team sucks you know i'm just really anyway i wanted to find out how many games they have won since 2022 which is when this giants regime started how many wins have the sealers had since 2022 could which is when this Giants regime started. How many wins have the Steelers had since 2022?

Starting point is 01:00:25 Couldn't give me an answer. It gave me the answer of how many wins they had in 2022, and then I was like, how many wins and losses have they had since the season 2022? And they were like, their results have varied from year to year. If you want more stats, you need to – I was like, how are people worried about this taking over the world or replacing my job or telling me that it's going to write a Hollywood script? I'm asking it a super basic question.

Starting point is 01:00:46 And I'm sure I don't have the most powerful one, but it's like if this thing can't just add up how many wins for the last four seasons. Well, that's what I was going to say. I could have just done it myself, but I was just like, it was right there. And I was just like, can you give me the answer? Is it having a calculator?

Starting point is 01:00:57 Nope. Wrong. I mean, bro, I mean, 10, 10, 9. All right, but now do how many losses? Okay. 7, 7, 8. How many losses? 14, 9. All right, but now do how many losses. Okay. 7, 7, 8. How many losses? 14, 22.

Starting point is 01:01:12 Look, I am not an AI guy by any stretch of the imagination. If you're looking it up for the last two seats. Well, I was sitting there trying to word it, and I was like, I could have fucking done this in five seconds. I could have had this. I've never used like chat GPT or anything like that. So I don't know how easy the process is, but I know it's easy to Google Steeler's record. But you know what's funny?

Starting point is 01:01:33 You mentioned AI. I was watching a commercial the other day. It was for maybe a dating app or something like that. AI is now, it's just a word for technology. Yeah. Like it doesn't mean anything. Getting lost in the – Like they were like, and we use AI in order to find your best match.

Starting point is 01:01:51 And I was like, well, any other commercial before this year would have said we use technology. Technology, yeah. I mean artificial intelligence is a computer. It's just – like we get – I guess – People use it as like a buzzword. Oh, they're using AI. But it's like, yeah, they're using a technology I don't understand.

Starting point is 01:02:05 I think if I had to, without being an expert in the field at all, I would say artificial intelligence is like the ability to evolve and develop like on your own as a computer. Right. And so if you're doing that, like that's AI. But if it's just like, yeah. But like as far as the consumer goes, we don't even know if it's AI or this technology. You just get the end product. Just find me someone to fuck. Your dating app, dude.

Starting point is 01:02:31 I don't give a fuck. I don't care how you get there. Just get there. If you're like, I don't use Tinder. I use the one where AI matches me. It's like, who fucking cares, dude? You're just going to fuck someone and accuse them of sexual harassment. But back to your question.

Starting point is 01:02:46 Jordan's a great one. I could see Monica Lewinsky. You know who was a pretty good one? Donald Trump. Trump was in a lot of rap songs. Trump came right to my mind. Yeah. Trump has a lot.

Starting point is 01:02:59 Jordan. Gotta be a chick. Nicki Minaj. I feel like there was a decade where Drake and Lil Wayne had Nicki Minaj on every song. Yeah, she had a clutch on. Dude, that was such a funny clip. Speaking of movies and shit like that.

Starting point is 01:03:18 Chalabay's epic run. Chalabay. He went on promoting the movie. Dude, the Theo Vaughn interview, you see that you see that no i mean i saw he did it awesome on theo von really but that's what everyone says he's like the man but there was one there was one clip he was with with nardwar and uh i guess him and nikki minaj went to the same high school okay and so like nardwar asked him a question about nikki minaj and he's like oh shout out barbies shout out queen like I'm the original blah blah blah and someone who's quoting

Starting point is 01:03:45 goes he's not even promoting the Bob Dylan movie anymore he's just running for Gen Z president he is the man dude he he is my number one want to have an interview for so many reasons because at the very end when we can just

Starting point is 01:04:02 be like just take a look at this clip before you leave but he is the fucking man and he was on theo vaughn and he was so genuine about bob dylan the bob dylan what's it called a complete unknown completely that movie should just be called the fucking bob dylan yeah get out of here the bob dylan movie um i saw that it was like timothy chalamet i'll come in completely unknown i was like oh did he do a second movie he was like he did do a second movie though he did do yeah that's right that's right two nominated so he was talking about that he was like i am proud of dune 2 and wonka basically being like i like the blockbusters because he was saying he was like the the popularity he's like old hollywood it's not really a thing anymore where like you're you're a holly you're a star

Starting point is 01:04:44 and you become like this, this massive thing. I guess he didn't really – I think he was kind of alluding to this, just TV and streaming and this and that. And he was like, so when you can do, like, a fucking blockbuster, you do it. And he was like, and I do these interviews, and I am out there because I think I have to give back to the industry. He's like – he wasn't throwing shade, but he was saying, like, the Daniel Dayiel day lewis's and there was someone else he said that's like reclusive he was like you know like the hollywood's giving them so much and but he was kind of saying daniel day lewis was able to be a superstar even though he was like reclusive now it's like you got to get out there yeah he was like i need to give back to hollywood because hollywood's given so much to me and then went on

Starting point is 01:05:22 this this little tangent being like, I loved it and I hated it all at the same time, because he was very down to earth, and it made me like him even more, and it's kind of important to check this box. He was like, I know I'm not, you know, out there doing manual labor, working in the coal mines,

Starting point is 01:05:41 but it's hard, you know? And part of me was like, I don't think that Timothee Chalamet has to put that fucking disclaimer out there. I think we should acknowledge it's fucking hard to make awesome movies. Because, like, five people can do it. And he's like, it's 14-hour days, like six days a week. You're on location. You're doing action.

Starting point is 01:06:01 And I put my soul into it. And, like, I'm proud of it but but i i know you know it's like no but just stop period stop and the rest of the world should be like fuck yeah and your movies are awesome and you're cool we like it but there's some asshole out there going oh yeah why don't you fucking dig a ditch like me he's talented and he's hot he's awesome so fuck you i i just i'm so sick of that like having to put out the disclaimers like different jobs are He's talented and he's hot and he's awesome. So fuck you. I'm so sick of that, like having to put out the disclaimer. It's like different jobs are hard in different ways, okay?

Starting point is 01:06:30 Right. Yeah, okay. You know, your job in the coal mine is super tough. You might die. Also, I don't know. Have you ever had the pressure of like 5 million fans invading your privacy? I don't know. That's hard too.

Starting point is 01:06:44 But again, you got to throw that out there so you don't sound like an out-of-touch asshole. But it's like I don't think it's out of touch to say it's hard to make awesome movies But yeah, he is His More people say fuck with my name afterwards Every day than will ever know you existed Nobody even knows you You can go do literally whatever you want At all times and no one knows or cares

Starting point is 01:07:01 Timothee Chalamet farts the wrong way And it's like on the fucking back page He know he he i would imagine who do you think is the i would say he's like the most liked person in in like pop culture today yeah i mean he's certainly uh yeah right right now this moment yes or like least hated because i still don't know like if you ask like my dad would tell timothy chalamet is i don't know if he's in the air yet you know what i mean yeah but like the people who know him i would say there's like a hundred percent love rate i would i would agree with that right my pal is probably up there yeah um there's a lot of people actually i'm just like picturing running through like names from last night but no one's like chalamet is Shalom is like cool. He's a cool guy. But he's also like not cool like Colin Farrell cool.

Starting point is 01:07:47 He's like it's cool that you like have those silly videos from high school where you're like rapping and you make fun of yourself. But also like you bagged fucking the baddest bitch in the world. It's very funny to me that like he's now kind of come out as like a normal guy. But when he first bagged Kylie, he was like this artsy fartsy kid, you know. And it's like, no, I still want to fuck that girl with the fat ass and the big dance give me the bad bitch um the uh i love when the rock came out i'm sorry when when how about your boy vin what taking well not taking a shot at the rock but making things a little awkward well that's what i was gonna say keegs texted me about it right away that's what I was going to say.

Starting point is 01:08:26 Keegs texted me about it right away. She's like, what is going on? Yada, yada, yada. Or maybe I texted. Whatever. Someone texted Keegs. I was texting with Keegs. And I was like, throughout the caveat, I was like, but here's the twist about this. We have to remember, Vin Diesel is a terrible actor.

Starting point is 01:08:41 And I bet that there was just like, that was supposed to be the public breaking the ice when he went out there and was like hey duane yeah and he went out there hey and he just he just delivered the line wrong that was so and then and then this morning like in variety it was all like it was all like uh vin diesel and the rock like publicly like acknowledge each other and like you could tell that was huh did Rock say anything back he just smiled but he went like like it went away but that also

Starting point is 01:09:08 is like that's the normal smile it's just you don't have a camera on you it's weird if I keep smiling at you for 10 seconds yeah yeah it's like

Starting point is 01:09:16 normal for me to go and then but like the camera sits on me then it looks like I'm not but I was like I bet

Starting point is 01:09:23 that he just didn't deliver that line right i also think there's a chance that he went out there and was just like all right i gotta say my lines like a like a kid like a puppy dog ran in the way like shiny lights oh hey dwayne but the spin i again it's not even spin but it's just like you know like variety hollywood reported stuff like that like they talked to management and agents first before. So everything from them was like, they publicly buried the axe. Everybody else was like, what the fuck was that? The people have spoken.

Starting point is 01:09:52 I knew what happened. I knew he just didn't say it right. Not that he didn't say it right. It's just like, the way he talks, it just sounds very sinister. He looked like a fat idiot. Not Vin's best. Dude, I would love a side-by-side. Every Fast and Furious I go to is like, yeah, now Vin's still in the beat, huh?

Starting point is 01:10:15 Not giving it up. He's probably being like a hoodie by now. He's probably, what, 55 years old? At least, right? He's got to be up. I think Fast 6 maybe was the first time I went like, ooh, maybe time to start getting away from that. Vin's looking like me in a Vita.

Starting point is 01:10:30 57. Bro, that's crazy. I guess actually I think he kind of looks good then. Yeah. No, no, no. Like 57. Is Vin Diesel just – what is he? I don't know.

Starting point is 01:10:43 He is a twin though. Mark Sinclair. No way. Yeah. There's a Vin Diesel just, what is he? I don't know. He is a twin, though. Mark Sinclair. No way. There's a Van Diesel out there? His twin looks nothing like him. Mark Sinclair is like, he's kind of very racially ambiguous. First team all racially ambiguous. Mark Sinclair, that's his brother?

Starting point is 01:11:02 That's him. That's Vin Diesel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fast and Furious reminds me of Marvel, which I have another question. Reminds you of what? Marvel.

Starting point is 01:11:11 It's black and Italian. For some reason, just like fan base. I don't know. What has a bigger fan base, WWE or Marvel? Marvel. Probably Marvel.

Starting point is 01:11:19 By a lot. Really? By a real lot. Okay. They're the biggest movies in the history of the world. Fair point. Fair argument.

Starting point is 01:11:29 WWE has an insane amount of fans. Insane amount of fans. The craziest fans. Yeah. But we're talking about places that made like a billion dollars opening weekend at the box office. I wonder though how many WWE fans. I mean, there's obviously no way they really quantify this.

Starting point is 01:11:49 But, like. Are you trying to have DVD? But I guess. I don't know. Now that I'm thinking about it. To a 2022 poll, 89.9 million Americans aged 8 and over identify as WWE fans. It has 100 million subscribers on YouTube. Like, I feel like

Starting point is 01:12:06 little kids, but I guess little kids Marvel. If you're talking about a fan, it depends on how you're defining fan. If a fan tunes in every week, maybe it's WWE? These movies come out, they watch it, and they go away. People watch, like you said, people like Marvel once a year.

Starting point is 01:12:22 They pay like $99 for a fucking pay-per-view like once a month. And then there's also the people who are fans who like maybe once a year. They pay like $99 for a fucking pay-per-view like once a month. Yeah. And then there's also the people who are fans who like maybe don't pay. You know what I mean? They're just like, I'm a fan of it, but I don't have the money or whatever. Like if they might have 99 million people who subscribed for the WWE channel, that's not all your fans. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:12:39 You know? But I don't know how many Marvel fans are there. I mean, I can't imagine. That's a... U.S. adults aged 18 to 29, 62% consider themselves Marvel fans. 62% of Americans 18 to 29 say they're Marvel fans. But that's half of... I mean, it's not 100 million.

Starting point is 01:13:03 No, but... But they add the other kids and all that. And add worldwide. But that's half of... I mean, it's not 100 million. No, but... But they add the other kids and all that. And add worldwide. Worldwide is probably... I don't know. Wrestling is pretty popular. It's a good question.

Starting point is 01:13:13 Yeah, it's a better question. If somebody would ask me if I'm a Marvel fan, like I've seen Marvel movies, I'd be like, yeah. That's the other thing. How do you define your fan? Versus if you're a WWE fan and you're saying, yes, I'm a WWE...

Starting point is 01:13:20 Like you know WWE. You're crazy. Yeah. Yeah, that's the other thing too is like I bet one WWE fan is more valuable than one Marvel fan. A hundred percent. Because I'm buying the merch. I'm buying the pay-per-views.

Starting point is 01:13:32 I'm like... If you ask people, are you a WWE fan, you're getting a yes or no. If you're asking, are you a Marvel fan... No, I watch them. You'll get, like, yeah, I don't know. I see the movies occasionally. I don't really... Like, I don't tune into all the shows and shit like that.

Starting point is 01:13:42 But, like, a big movie I'll go to. Right. So, like, I... There was probably a time in my life I would consider myself a Marvel fan. Right now, I wouldn't tune into all the shows and shit like that, but a big movie I'll go to. So there was probably a time in my life I would consider myself a Marvel fan. Right now, I wouldn't, but I don't hate it. They come out with a new big movie. If anything, I've been pretty bad.

Starting point is 01:13:52 I think Marvel's been bad for quite a while. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think when Marvel was hot, pre-Endgame, I'd probably be like, yeah, I like Marvel. I fucking love Marvel. It's funny watching them all in a row the way I am right now. It's like, this is the same movie yeah yeah that's the same honest to god that's what did it because i i watched all the marvels leading up to endgame and i did it like

Starting point is 01:14:14 in the order or whatever we're doing now yeah and by the end of it i was like endgame's gonna be the last one i watch it was awesome but it was like it's just like the formula of introduction, tortured past, sex scene. Even with Iron Man, there was a scene in the beginning. I didn't think there was any sex in those movies. There's not sex, but Tony Stark is rolling around half naked with a girl. They're like, why were they kissing? I was like, how cool is this house? Did you see those suits?

Starting point is 01:14:43 And then the next movie, he like doing it again and they were like that's like the last girl who's kissing i was like yeah oh same exact time stamp and everything same fucking movie um but the the wwe just uh tonight as we tonight will be monday night raw on netflix oh shit which and they put out the trailer. Oh, that's a bummer. That it's on Netflix? Well, it's just like every time now, like every Monday night and Thursday night when I go to my Netflix, it's probably going to be feeding me that. Yep. I don't like that.

Starting point is 01:15:13 So I think that'll make it even bigger. Yeah. Because I think that it'd get fed. Like wrestling fans go to like the USA channel. They go to WWE Network. This is now like, I don't know. I might tune in tonight. Yeah. I'm going to open up Netflix.

Starting point is 01:15:26 I haven't watched wrestling in a while, but I want to see if they're going to go all out for their first Raw. Right. You'll probably get a few more fans, but they're an interesting one that's like up, down, but they're good. I saw a clip of Vince McMahon trying to solve the Middle East, which is a thing. The Middle East loves wrestling.

Starting point is 01:15:48 Oh, yeah. But this was before they really did a lot of their pay-per-views there. He was like, you know, I'm going to say something. He was like, what's a way to solve the Middle East crisis? Have a wrestling pay-per-view there. And he goes, and you're going to say to me, did I say that? Yeah, I did.

Starting point is 01:16:06 And the way he said it, I was like, this is so fucking perfect. It's unbelievable to just be like, wrestling is the answer to everything at all times. He's maybe not wrong.

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Starting point is 01:18:07 terms and conditions may apply. Point set based on Equifax advantage score 3.0 changes for kickoff users starting under 600 who made their first on-time payment between January 2021 and March 2024. Payment and credit activity outside kickoff can have an impact on your credit. Individual results may vary. Before we get into voicemails,

Starting point is 01:18:23 I think we got gotta play that clip in that comedian about Barstool fans. Before we get into that, we have to talk about, I guess we'll do this where we talk about our coworkers. So Pat came up to me for a few days, and I was, so I hung out with him for like two days straight,

Starting point is 01:18:42 which I've never done with Pat. You guys are banging. And he talked about, and I think this is all gay people, talks about fucking guys so much. Yeah, it's like. That I was like, if this was a straight guy and he was talking about women, I'd be like, you're gay. Yeah. Are you straight? So now I'm like, is Pat straight? Yeah. You guys are always talking about women i'd be like you're gay yeah so are you straight so now i'm like is pat straight yeah no you guys are always talking about fucking every guy that walked by

Starting point is 01:19:09 like murder my whole murder my whole murder my whole i was like dude if someone was straight and doing this woman i'd be like you're obviously gay yeah pat might be so much pussy all i ever hear from pat is how much he hates fucking women. And guess what? I think you like fucking women. He is just constantly. It was, I mean, it's funny. He's like, I love that guy. Give me AIDS. And I was like, also, we just have a beer and fucking watch.

Starting point is 01:19:37 Forget about if you would call someone gay or straight. Wouldn't you just be like, shut the fuck up? Yeah, we all want to have sex with people. Shut up. These goddamn gays running around won't shut the fuck up about it. I had a kid in college. I talk about him a lot because there was this one particular instance where he was, oh. I say he had like a medical need for pussy.

Starting point is 01:19:54 Yeah, we hate those. We always talk about that. Shut up, dude. And there was one time where he was like, yo, we have a hot chick. We have a hot chick coming up. And we got, we were driving. And I was sitting past her. He was driving.

Starting point is 01:20:04 And we got to the hot chick. was sitting past where he was driving and we got to the hot chick and it was a guy with long hair and i was like just wait until you're sure it's a woman it's a reverse before you say that's a reverse back it's a fucking hot guy you want to fuck like just wait until we're a hundred feet closer to them like it's such a weird thing dude and that was just like every every guy, I was like, shut up, dude. I just need a dick in a hole. Murder my hole is rough. Also, the biggest news, I think,

Starting point is 01:20:33 and I made a promise to Michael Greer. Greer, where are you at? Greer Z. Justin Trudeau stepping down? Justin Trudeau stepping down, that's not what he wanted to talk about. Francis walking in on Mincy beating off is like yeah wait the craziest thing that's ever happened was that true yeah as far as i understand i haven't like spoken to friends about it like personally that's always kind of been a thing with super bowl houses and

Starting point is 01:20:56 anytime we're on the road people are joking around it's like are you jerking off right we always like did you do it not everyone either didn't do it or lied about not doing it. But if you're going to do it, like, you'd have to be like, I cannot let anyone at work catch me jerking off. The fact that he just like during waking hours without a locked door in probably a communal type of house was just like, I don't know. Insane. In fucking sane. Makes me even think less of mincy's cognitive ability that's crazy dude he this the image of he's a big guy just like like if you like locked like looked in like just like the way his like like get under if you saw someone of mincy's size or

Starting point is 01:21:44 like masturbating and depending on what angle you saw it from, there's a good chance you don't see his face. You know what I mean? You're going to say his dick. The way I picture it in my head is the door's right there, the bed's right here. So Francis is coming in looking down the barrel. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And so you just see dick, but you'd be like what is behind that because again depending on your angle like

Starting point is 01:22:11 there's a chance that mince's face is just like blocked by his stomach and it's just a fucking dick i don't know how you go back to that. I don't understand how you look someone in the eye after that. Even Mincy playing part of my take afterwards. You just got to go to... Sleep cures everything. Sleep fixes everything. Sleep is the only escape.

Starting point is 01:22:40 So you just have to go to bed. Whatever time it is. 3 p.m.? You have to go to bed. And you wake up the next day, new day. is 3 p.m you have to go to bed and you wake up next day new day never happened nothing no one knows anything fresh that every day probably probably both of them francis francis needs to go to sleep too probably you just see something awful you're like i'm going to bed i'm gonna go to bed right now did not happen bro i am curious

Starting point is 01:23:01 i like if there was video, I'd watch it, though. Of Mincy jerking off? No. Oh. Just Mincy jerking off. I would like to see Francis walk in and be like, I do not want video of Mincy jerking off. I'll take them both. I'll take a wide shot and a Francis POV angle. Dude, a Francis POV angle would be so funny because you know his head like popped?

Starting point is 01:23:29 Hey, Francis. What the hell are you doing? I'm not a lot of noise. Well, perfect segue into, Jackie, I don't think you've seen this yet. This is mean, but I think I have to play this. It's very funny. It's super accurate and it's just a commentary

Starting point is 01:23:47 on what's been going on at this company. The case. This guy Lucas made this video. I think he's in the Legion of Skanks universe. Yo. What's up? Arsenal Sports has hired a big fat guy.

Starting point is 01:23:58 Okay. That's awesome. Why is that awesome? He's also disabled, dude. That's awesome. Now the whole gang has someone to crack wise about. This is so cool. Now while the gang's cracking wise, they have someone to make fun of.

Starting point is 01:24:14 Yo, we have to go to Kentucky. I'm not going to Kentucky. No, Dave just raided a piece of pizza at 7.2. That's good for him. No, he's like a really hard raider. 7.2. Oh my God, they're being slightly inappropriate about sports. They're being slightly inappropriate

Starting point is 01:24:27 about sports again. They're not doing it in a conventional way. They're being a little bit different. They're cracking wise. Is everyone sitting down? Yeah, we're sitting down. They just hired another fat disabled man. I mean, we're on a little bit of a run. One is funny. Two is, wow. Three is a little bit of a run.

Starting point is 01:24:46 One is, you know, funny. Two is, wow. Three is a pattern. Four, five, six. We have an institutional, you know. But also I'll say, though, like, that guy's funny. It plays. That guy's funny.

Starting point is 01:24:59 I don't know. Beef being good at golf is ridiculous. People of that size being good at anything like that is going to be funny. It's like the first time Frank was putting or something like that, and people say he looks like Bowser. It's very funny. How about Frank running? Frank runs? Frank ran for the first time in 18 years. Yeah?

Starting point is 01:25:21 He just ran down the block. Pretty fucking crazy. Go run and clean up my apartment. Jenks, I do gotta give a shout out to Jenks. Jenks gave Feidelberg for the Secret Santa a couple

Starting point is 01:25:35 weeks ago. He gave Feidelberg three deep cleanings for his apartment. So now Jenks is really, really trying to make up for it. But now you're putting... When he pulled your name, he was like, fuck. But that just means that Jenks is putting a bunch of Hispanic children out of work. Good job there, Jenks. Another fuck up by you.

Starting point is 01:26:00 Just messing up illegal immigrants' lives now. All right, we got voicemails? Wait, I had just just really quick thing um first of all uh wait i really only have two things one's a quick funny story i had a one uh one weekend in vermont um my friends came up with uh like their kids and i like hanging out with kids like like they kids know like you want to wrestle go go see uncle johnny yeah and and so like me and their son who's like five would would wrestle a lot and and then we'd be watching movies at night and he'd come up and he'd whisper to me he'd go uncle Johnny, Uncle Johnny, you want to go play rough?

Starting point is 01:26:48 And I'd be like, yeah, but stop asking it like that. Bro, there is – so you understand. Do you understand that that means there is a 100% chance that little Danny went to his mom and said, like, I was playing rough with Uncle Tom. Well, they would hear that on the couch. I'd be like, yeah, stop asking like that. Raise your hand, school. I play rough with my uncle. Call in the principal.

Starting point is 01:27:18 Call the guidance counselor. And then we would just ruin everyone's experience watching the movie because what we were playing was he was a bull and he'd run at me and then he'd knock me down. It was exhausting, dude. It was a nightmare. But I was like, he's like, all right, now I'm a bull. And then he'd fucking storm at me and he'd hit me and I'd fall. And he'd go, get back up.

Starting point is 01:27:37 And I'd get back up and he'd walk to the other side of the room. And like, this is what we did for like three hours straight. Yeah. But it was very funny. But I was like, you got to stop asking like this, dude. Kind of play rough. But then the other thing I had was, this is wild. So I was reading this article the other day about basically our need as humans for diversion.

Starting point is 01:28:01 And just like we need to divert our attention from things and blah blah blah blah and it talks a lot about phones but it's actually kind of interesting where the the phone's not really a symptom i'm sorry it's a phone it's not because of the phone because of the phone we do it we've always done it it's just but there is before you finish this the phones are i was thinking about this the other day actually it's funny even so it's great like phones no joke no no secret here but like changed the history of humanity in such a crazy way but it was and without a doubt 100 because there was we always joke you read the newspaper you'd read the back of the thing but you run out of things or you know what i mean but now you have the you always forever so that's what i was saying we're like you always

Starting point is 01:28:44 we've always had that inclination of like, Oh no, I don't have anything to do. Yeah. We're like, excuse me. It was saying like a lot, like,

Starting point is 01:28:50 you know, the human experience is to avoid boredom, blah, blah, blah. In this day and age, it's a lot harder to avoid boredom because, excuse me,

Starting point is 01:28:58 Jesus Christ. Apologize to anyone who has like, no, that's, that's, um, you know, you, you, I apologize to anyone who has like noise canceling. That's getting cut. You know, you will experience boredom. It's our job to avoid it.

Starting point is 01:29:11 Yeah. The phone is just it's our easy access to avoid that. But like everyone was always trying to do that. Yeah. And but said this, I found this crazy. In 2014, psychologists at the University of Virginia and Harvard University set about to investigate people's experience of boredom. Subjects were asked to simply sit alone in a room doing nothing for 6 to 15 minutes and were later asked about their experiences. They hated it. The researchers then tested how much the subjects hated it.

Starting point is 01:29:41 The authors asked whether the subjects would rather do an unpleasant activity than no activity at all. In one study, participants were given opportunity to experience negative stimulation, parentheses, in electric shock, if they so desired. And guess what? Get the fuck out of here.

Starting point is 01:29:59 Many participants elected to receive negative stimulation over no stimulation. Get the fuck out. Especially men. I was going to say, you would do this. I would do it at least once. I'd be like, I don't know what it's like. Especially men. 67% of men gave themselves at least one shock during the thinking period compared to 25% of women. fact one participant appears to have spent basically the entire time shocking himself administering 190 shocks and what i can only guess was a desperate bid to avoid being alone

Starting point is 01:30:30 with his thoughts yo that's either that's either you or yp two idiots i know would do that but there is it is scary how little I can be alone in my own thoughts. See, I actually like – I lay down at night. I need to listen to a book now. I wake up in the middle of the night, like mind racing. I start to scroll just so like I need to not think. I need to have like music or something playing in the shower.

Starting point is 01:30:59 I cannot have my own thoughts. But I'm also like clinically depressed. If I was happy, I think I'd be okay. When you're thinking, because I don't know if it's because I smoke more weed now that I think more. But I basically think all night from 6 to 1 a.m. And I don't know if I'm normal or if I'm weird I just think about all of my feelings and I just find out why I think that way

Starting point is 01:31:30 why I feel them I can't watch TV or movies as well because I get so distracted by my thoughts TV's on but I'm like unless I'm if I'm watching a movie or a show i'm locked in if i'm just like the bruins are on or like uh football games on then i'm kind of like i but i just like trace

Starting point is 01:31:54 back everything i felt that day and i just find out why i felt that or at least good for you jesus christ i don't know i'm wondering is that good or bad, do you think? I think it's good. I think people who don't do that are the ones who like suppress all their feelings until they – But I mean – It feels good. I like it. I don't know. I don't know if it's because I'm high or if it's just like –

Starting point is 01:32:15 I also think you're in a better spot. For sure. I think if you were doing that to yourself a few years ago, you'd be like – When you're going through thoughts that about feelings that are bad yeah you end up with being like oh i like shouldn't have done that or i i'm you know what i mean it's like fuck but if you're like i'm writing i'm working on out of order i'm happy then it's all good stuff yeah it's not all good but it's actually not all good stuff but like but i end up in a good spot afterwards.

Starting point is 01:32:45 I'm like, okay, I get why I acted that way or why I did that. I think that's super emotionally high IQ. I know. I'm unsure. Every night I'm like, I don't get to the answer to that one. I'm always like, am I a fucking lunatic for this? No, I think, well, you know, people think you're a serial killer. It's like, it's because they can't, they're not mature enough to face their own feelings.

Starting point is 01:33:05 Most of us can't do that, want to do that, should do that, can't do that, you know? I think that's why I like playing video games is, like, it's, I'm, like, focused. It's just, like, a task to do, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's, like, I need to, like, get through this level or beat this ball or whatever silly, dumb, like, childish thing it is, but it's just, like, a beginning and an end that I'm thinking about that thing rather than just, because even if I am watching TV, I'll just be, like, my mind's racing. Yeah. It's, like a beginning and an end that i'm thinking about that thing rather than just because even if i am watching tv i'll just be like my mind's racing yeah it's like i just

Starting point is 01:33:28 want to stop but if it's if it's something passive i think i i end up just thinking you know but if i'm doing something yeah that's also why like i'm just always making videos or you know what i mean just like keep going keep going keep going right i will eventually probably commit suicide that's like seven warning signs that you get. I will never do that. That's never even been a thought in my mind, but I do need to clean some things up going on up here. You don't have to worry about me killing myself, though. Oh, wait.

Starting point is 01:34:01 Before voicemails. February 6th to 8th I'm doing shows in DC with Francis Ellis your boy's a real comedian so please come it'll be fun where's this DC yeah I actually don't even know

Starting point is 01:34:13 where in DC I should probably check that out dude that's a real comic you're doing a real weekend with him that's crazy the

Starting point is 01:34:20 I'm very excited I was so fucking dumb and just so lame asking Francis. I don't even know. I feel bad because I don't even know if that's kosher. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they have so many goddamn unwritten rules and shit in comedy. I was like, I don't want to pry. I don't know if it's improper for someone to ask if they can be an opener.

Starting point is 01:34:43 But do you mind if I open for some shows for you? And he was very excited, and he was very kind and very nice about it. That's great for both of you. I hope you guys come out. It is February 6th, 7th, and 8th. I think there are two shows every night at the DC Comedy Loft. So come get tickets. It's fun.

Starting point is 01:35:01 Wow. It's fun. You're doing it. Yeah, right as I said about an hour ago i was like yeah that bubble's bursting i'm like let's get into it might as well start trying that mr as soon as other industries are leeching off a copy but i guess they're doing comedy let me see if i can sink my fangs in there real quick it is annoying that it's like – sometimes I do this with my divorce where I was like, well, if I knew I was going to cave the whole time, I wish I didn't spend tens of thousands of dollars on that fucking lawyer. It's also like if you knew you were going to end up finally doing this, I wish we started five years ago.

Starting point is 01:35:42 Yeah, I wouldn't have been good. But yeah, you have to play out the course. But it's like, fuck, I knew this was going to be the end game. I could have done it earlier, before the bubble, all that shit. Not that I think I'm good now, but I would have been bad. You need the experience, you need the confidence, you need the time. It all happens for a reason. But sometimes I'm like, even with my shit, I'm like, I wouldn't have caved until I needed to.

Starting point is 01:36:03 Yeah, yeah. Apple store is there there but you know alright so February 6th to 8th DC was it which one

Starting point is 01:36:12 DC Comedy Loft the NFL playoffs are here um what a what a field they have man this is a

Starting point is 01:36:21 crazy this is a weird year of football the MVP someone's gonna get paid out on mvp man there is like six legitimate mvp yeah i don't think i've ever seen that in my life no it's been like the fact that like saquon barkley has no shot to win it is like crazy you know like i was i was watching gruden's video of like who he thinks it is and he had

Starting point is 01:36:39 everyone listed out and i was like oh well that's like he put josh allen at the end there like he ruined the big reveal and then he was like it's joe burrow and i was like, oh, well, that's like he put Josh Allen at the end there. Like he ruined the big reveal. And then he was like, it's Joe Burrow. And I was like, I forgot about Joe Burrow. I mean, you could say it absolutely should be Lamar. It absolutely should be Josh Allen. It definitely could be Josh. If Burrow made the playoffs, that kind of probably hurts him there.

Starting point is 01:37:03 Sam Darnold, Jared Goff, and Saquon. Those all are like legitimate. Any other year would probably be a lock. Yeah. And there's six of them. Crazy, man. So whether you had a future on one of those bets or maybe you're still placing an MVP bet, whether you're going to get in on the NFL slate,

Starting point is 01:37:16 we've got Wild Card Weekend coming up. They got you covered on all the best bets, spreads props touchdowns they got that first touchdown second touchdown they got all sorts of different ways to make your money uh for one of the best betting times of the year the nfl playoffs of course you still got the nba the nba we're about to see the best second best regular season matchup of all time the like 32 and four celtic uh uh calves are playing like the 36-5 Thunder. Yeah. There's only one other time it was the Warriors versus the Spurs

Starting point is 01:37:50 in the 73-9 year. They matched up with like both had like 40 wins and like five losses. It was crazy. So you can bet on basketball. You got, of course, hockey, baseball is coming, pitchers and catchers soon. So whatever it is you're betting on, DraftKings has you covered with the best lines, props, bets, all of it

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Starting point is 01:38:49 For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG.co slash audio. All right, we got Jamie. Let's go. What's up, KFC? Fights. Jackie, what's up? Pabst, crew, everybody.

Starting point is 01:39:02 Shout out, BC. Wait, by the way pavs has covet 2025 covet worse than the cancer people like you have covet i'm not fucking that guy he got covet five years after the fact it's called covet 19 bro it's 2025 i've actually been crazy sick for a week. Today's the first day I feel good. I might add COVID too.

Starting point is 01:39:29 I don't talk about it because I'm not a pussy. It's saying you have COVID. You got shingles? He also texted yesterday being like, hey, I just tested positive for COVID. Like TBD if I'm in tomorrow. I was like, don't. Definitely don't come in. He said that to me too. He's like, I'll definitely be in'm in tomorrow i was like don't definitely don't he

Starting point is 01:39:45 said that to me too he's like i'll definitely be on tuesday i was like we record on tuesday just don't do it it's not like a real job it's not like a two-day shower my 14-hour day i don't know you could never show up again of intrusive thoughts a lot you know you're driving down a two-lane road and the thought pops in your head, hey, you should turn the wheel left in oncoming traffic. Obviously, you don't do it. Or if you're staring over the edge of a four-story balcony, you should jump. We all get those. At least, I think if you're normal, you get them. You don't act on them. Anyway, take intrusive thoughts.

Starting point is 01:40:26 We're going to set it aside for a second. I've been rewatching The Boys, one of my favorite shows of all time. For those of you who haven't seen it, it's superheroes who live in the real world, who get marketed and advertised and put in movies and merchandise and stuff, and it all kind of turns them into assholes. One of the Supes in the show, I'm not going to say who it is because it's a little spoilery, has the power to manipulate blood.

Starting point is 01:40:51 Blood of themselves and of other people, which can lead to exploding hands, exploding heads, exploding dicks. We saw that in Gen V. Entire bodies just, boom, gone. Which got me to thinking, what do you guys think is the worst superpower to have for an intrusive thought of any sort to come in and just ruin your entire day? Say you have the – I don't totally understand the question.

Starting point is 01:41:20 First of all, I don't have those thoughts. I know that's kind of like a trope. I remember you telling me sometimes that you would be like, when you would walk home, you'd look at a building and be like, if I were to jump off, that would have killed me. Well, you know what's funny? I don't. I was always like, as much anymore, but like when I used to have suicidal ideations, a lot, it would always be jumping. But I never have a jumping intrusive thought. I have like the swerve and all that stuff.

Starting point is 01:41:56 You actually have. Yeah. I mean, not a lot. Like I used to have everything a lot more, but like I've had that i got i i think there's a difference between like intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideations and like when i would have suicidal ideations like it was jump one really but you were thinking like i'm gonna do it or you were like if i were to do it i would do it this way it was more like if i were to do it this is how i'm gonna do it i was never like i was never like getting up the courage like all right we're gonna do it the same way

Starting point is 01:42:24 that it's like if the bad guy's breaking the room right now How am I gonna It would be like laying in bed Not feeling good and looking out and being like That'll fix it Not great That's why I was saying before But I never have that

Starting point is 01:42:40 As an intrusive thought That's why I wonder if that somehow makes it more real But isn't it kind of? If I'm on a building looking over the edge, I'm never like jump. It's only when I'm feeling really sad. Like you're being premeditated. Yeah. Well, let's make sure you're never really sad on a fucking rooftop.

Starting point is 01:43:02 That sounds like a recipe for disaster. Were you doing the nighttime thought processes during your suicidal? No, what's that? Like your nighttime? Oh, no, no, no, no. Wow. No. No, I think that's the point.

Starting point is 01:43:13 Hell yeah. Yeah. That's why you're not having that shit. My mom, she kept making me listen to a bunch of podcasts and everything, like mental health stuff over the break. And one of them is like, this woman does like 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and then you do something no I actually

Starting point is 01:43:27 that's one I do a lot is if it takes under 5 seconds if it's gonna take you under 5 minutes just do it now oh I do like yeah

Starting point is 01:43:34 so it's everything in the world yeah anything that takes more than 5 minutes I do all the time like in my apartment like walking by something

Starting point is 01:43:40 where like I'll clean that up later yeah just pick it up now and that's a great great way to live it's been pretty nice it's

Starting point is 01:43:49 it's the like I think that is like the hallmark of depression is when you don't do that yeah yeah it's like why I'm always like you know

Starting point is 01:43:55 I let the tickets build up or all those little things that I don't do it's like 100% just fucking do them there is something it's just anything

Starting point is 01:44:00 it's momentum yeah it's like anything in any world like I'm doing something I'm doing it's like paying a ticket world. I'm doing something.

Starting point is 01:44:07 Paying a ticket is not like you did anything, but you trick yourself into thinking you accomplished something. You know what I mean? Yeah. The same way as I go out and drive around or whatever, and then it's like I can do nothing. It's like just make yourself think you're doing it. But there really is something.

Starting point is 01:44:20 I can be like, just do that, and I'm not going to do it. The same thing with eating the ice cream. I don't eat the ice cream. I ate the ice cream. It is like a weird addiction opposite way where it's like i'm not doing it yeah i know i should it's super easy it'll take two seconds no that's crazy god damn it what what's the five second thing though basically it's just like i don't know like five four three two one then you do it and then moment the same thing though momentum yeah like but then the woman was saying she was like, we know

Starting point is 01:44:45 of 13 people who have stopped suicide because they did this 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 rule. They just said 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, I'm standing off the edge. That feels the opposite to me. You're not hearing about all the people who use 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Throw themselves off the building.

Starting point is 01:45:01 What? I just thought that was funny. That's very funny. themselves out of the building. What? I can't trust me so many times. That's very funny. Failed suicide cases. They could have been using all of the tricks. You don't fucking know. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. We're going to take a step

Starting point is 01:45:16 one way or the other. Fuck, it was that way. She's like, I told you it's effective. As far as worst superpower while having intrusive thoughts. So if you haven't seen that, you know, that girl can just like make your blood shoot out your eyeballs and you're dead. So if you just have a thought, it happens. Yeah, probably.

Starting point is 01:45:35 You can just turn your blood into AIDS. Well, no, but I mean that's basically Ebola, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. But it's more like it shoots out of your head. It's a pretty tough one. I think it would have to be something with like eyesight. Like if you just looked at something. Like Medusa. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:45:54 Like you look at something and it turns you to stone. Well, the Midas touch. Same thing. Yeah, that's a good one. Well, not really. Everything you touch turns to gold. Don't touch. I don't want everything I touch to turn to gold.

Starting point is 01:46:04 Yeah, that's true. I like to eat. Yeah, those ones, I think. Anything where it's, like, passive, you know, you have to look. You have to breathe. You have to touch. Maybe I just don't know about superpowers enough. So what is the worst power to have for an intrusive thought?

Starting point is 01:46:26 Where, like, yeah, if you had the intrusive thoughts and acted on them. Like this girl. If you have super strength, but I'm a mile away from you, I can't kill you. You know what I mean? But if I can just make your blood boil from a distance and I have the intrusive thought, it's going to be bad. There are certain superpowers. There's still a limit to what you can and can't do. This is like from a distance,

Starting point is 01:46:47 I can just make your blood boil, explode, kill you. So if I have the intrusive thoughts, you're dead. I don't know. This is a tough one for me. I'm still not really grasping it. If you have the urge to fly, you're not fucking going to hurt anybody. Probably sex addiction. Yeah. yeah yeah i was thinking something along

Starting point is 01:47:08 the lines of some sort of sex shit where it's like i mean it's probably like i was kind of joking but now it's probably like definitively like the worst one yeah it's like if i'm addicted to sex and i have a superpower yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what i'm saying you're addicted to sex you can have sex whenever you want. That's not going to end up too well every time. Right. Ask Joy Taylor. Is sex addiction a superpower?

Starting point is 01:47:33 I don't know if I answered that question right. Actually, I think he was going to give an exam. Whatever. Hello. So my girlfriend puts barbecue sauce on her steak whenever we grill steaks. Um, I think it's pretty fucking rude if you're gonna ask me. Like, I'm putting effort into grilling, you know, a medium rare steak, and she decides to put barbecue sauce on it i is stupid um but she puts like barbecue sauce or a1 or something

Starting point is 01:48:19 um and i just want to punch her in the nose but let me know what you think like i maybe like in in a nice setting when you have like a mushroom sauce it's good swast i hate this shit man uh i'm i i agree with him wholeheartedly like i i think any of that no no i agree with him wholeheartedly I think any of that I do not No no no I agree with him wholeheartedly in the second part It's basically unless you're at a Michelin place You can put whatever the fuck you want on it Agreed yes there are certain times But even then

Starting point is 01:48:54 No if you're at a Michelin place If you're at a Michelin place and you're like I would like some ketchup You just don't go to a Michelin place You're right but it's also like Why the fuck do you care yeah no it's it's there isn't but it's one of those things like i don't care but it does bother me i mean if i went to a place if i was eating like french fries at a michelin place and

Starting point is 01:49:16 i wanted ketchup i mean that's okay yeah i get bugged yeah yeah if they're sitting there on your you know hundred dollar wagyu steak like yeah 57 to put your ketchup on, I get it. I get it. But I'm also like, shut the fuck up. It's like someone watching a movie, someone on their phone in the theater or at a movie where you're like, it shouldn't bother me, but it does bother me. Why are you here then?

Starting point is 01:49:42 You know what I mean? If you're not going to eat this, you're paying extra paying extra you're coming here and then you're just making it taste like ketchup yeah but i don't know it's also just like hey bro if i want it i'm paying for it i'm gonna fucking do it no it it is i can maybe understand like the chef i mean this guy acting like i'm slaving over the steak it's like whether you cook the steak like well or medium well or whatever it's like it took eight minutes yeah six minutes whatever dude if you're like a michelin star chef i but even then it's like i part of me would be like i'm not going i will eat the food as prepared until i see that chef being a fucking asshole and i'd be like give me the fucking ketchup then i like then i want to do it because then i'm like why do you fucking care

Starting point is 01:50:30 so much i mean it all this is an extreme case the michelin star shit the more basic one is the meat thing you know how do you cook your meat yeah shut the fuck up let me cook it to a hockey puck if i want to you know what i mean like who know i don't know what if but if I want to. You know what I mean? Like, who knows? I don't know. But if you, I don't know, you can't eat, like, raw meat or something. You need to, like, make sure your body. You know what I mean? I don't know what the fuck people. Let the people who are paying for their fucking food eat it the way they want to eat it.

Starting point is 01:50:54 You know? I very largely agree with that. But also, like, I'm going to make fun of you. Well, okay. And then the other thing is, like, but at the same time, you're white trash for putting barbecue sauce on your steak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we will make fun of you. I will call you low brow.

Starting point is 01:51:06 I will call you low class. But I will never be like, you can't do that. Right. But there are consequences to your actions. You know, you are garbage. I like above ground pools. People will call me white trash. But don't tell me I can't swim in an above ground pool.

Starting point is 01:51:21 So yeah, if you're putting ketchup on your steak, you're a child. You're eating like chicken fingers every day. You're a child. But if that's what I want it you know so yeah if you're putting you know ketchup on your steak you're a child you're eating like chicken fingers every day you're a child but if that's what I want to do there there is something to like shared experiences though and and I think this kind of doing it the right way just no just like like we're all eating the same thing man like you know what I mean like again if you're at a restaurant where what you're eating is unique and like if we're doing something that we're supposed to talk about, like that's what like if we're watching a movie together and someone's on their phone. I'm like, well, then why are we even watch this movie together? Yeah, we can't talk. Well, you want if you want to watch nonsense and play on your phone. I'm fine with that.

Starting point is 01:51:58 But like, let's do that. Yeah. Versus like, I don't want to. We're sitting here watching like, I don't know, like whatever movie, but then like afterwards we're going to talk about what we think about it and you're not going to know what the fuck you're going to say. Yeah. But I also think that's like, you got to make sure that people on the, like if I'm not on

Starting point is 01:52:14 that page, if it's just like, I don't know, we're roommates or some shit, it's like we hang out every night. So I don't want to have like this conversation about the movie every night. Sometimes we put it on, I'll be on my phone. But if it's like a, we're on a date or something, we're going to this like uh we're on a date or something we're going to this thing we're going to this restaurant we're going to this movie to do this thing together and you're doing it the wrong way or checked out or whatever i can understand that's what i'm saying like we're having a shared experience but you're completely altering the experience and we're not gonna be able to talk about it right that isn't as fun to

Starting point is 01:52:38 do with somebody yeah it's like i took you to a concert and you're on your you're not listening to the music and seeing the music yeah it's like how are we gonna how are we gonna talk about this afterwards yeah yeah yeah it's like it's like uh i mean yeah yeah yes yeah i totally agree with that um but but food is also a little bit different where it's like if i don't like something and i you know like i like it this way and i don't like it that way and i know that i'm not going to just like eat something i don't like yeah or you know what i mean just because but but like it's a my point i'd rather have it with ketchup i'm having ketchup 99 of restaurants are not necessarily like a shared experience it's more like we're having a meal and we're just talking yeah but if you're going to a place that is like

Starting point is 01:53:18 oh we're gonna eat the sushi in the dark yeah you don't do that yeah it's like oh what did you oh yeah that did taste a little weird oh i like that but but in a situation like this i tend to lean towards the the boyfriend who's just cooking the steak acting like he's you know the fucking pope you're the asshole not her she might be a little bit childish and white trash but you're the asshole our boy ian what do we got what's up kc radio gang so i was eating lunch the other day, and my brother was over, and he just walks in and absolutely cooks me to death, cooks my shit burnt like Frank's ribs, and I had no comeback, no words.

Starting point is 01:53:55 So I'm just going to put it in the video here. My brother just called my lunch the autism speaks meal. I have no words. I have no comeback. He got my ass. I mean, what are we talking about now as you can see? I okay, so this is this is good following up the food voicemail here This meal

Starting point is 01:54:15 The autism speaks meal is The dinosaur chicken nuggets and some sort of smiley face looks like potato yeah And some sort of smiley face. What is this? Like a potato? Yeah. That's a crazy thing to eat. I mean, autism. This is what my kids eat. Yeah. This is a children's meal. Kids snacks, which I do, and kids food.

Starting point is 01:54:41 When you're eating kids food, that's weird. Now, to be fair, when I make the nuggets for my kids, I make like a whole pack. And I eat five or six of them. That's different. You're firing them up for yourself. That's crazy. What if I'm making them for my kids and I'm like, I'm also putting in a whole amount that's a full meal for me? That's fine.

Starting point is 01:55:04 It's still fine. As long as kids are involved, you're fine. But if I break out the dino nuggets. If there are no children in the home. And I'm making dino nuggets. What if I'm making not dino nuggets, just regular nuggets? Like toastable, air fryable chicken nuggets. Because that's what, dino nuggets are that, just shaped like dinosaurs.

Starting point is 01:55:19 Yeah. But they make ones that are just nugget shaped. I think it's still weird. What if it's a, they also make them like a patty weird you have to tend tender tender tender now if it's a finger tendy you're good i mean they you know they they eat chicken nuggets and pasta a hundred times a week and i'm always like shit slaps it's good. I actually don't like kids' food. Kids' snacks, I'm like, I get this.

Starting point is 01:55:50 But kids' food, I'm like... Like chicken nuggets and tenders? I don't like the taste. It's too, like... I don't know. I guess, like, frozen. Frashy. Eating Michelin star food the way it's intended to be.

Starting point is 01:56:05 Eating jam, making jam. Yeah, jam preserves. Dude, red pepper jam. I'm on this monster prosciutto cheese Ritz crackers fig kick. Oh. Bro, I get this new, well, new to me, cheese. Sartori cheese, black pepper and salt crusted on the outside. 18-month

Starting point is 01:56:28 prosciutto. Making adult Lunchables. Ritz crackers. And then the fig spread. And I will put down a whole thing of Ritz, a whole block of cheese, and almost the whole thing of prosciutto.

Starting point is 01:56:43 Oh, I know how you got off ice cream. But those are different worlds to me. I'll have that for lunch or dinner. That's like meat, cheese, whatever. That's not replacing the I'll do that, and then something else. What's that cheese that's like the bourgeois

Starting point is 01:57:01 something, it's like the circular one, and it's absolutely crap. I don't know the names of any cheeses. It's like a brand. Have you ever seen? I don't like anything hard. No hard cheese, but a soft cheese. Have you ever seen the Cheese Reserve? Why is this kid keep falling on me?

Starting point is 01:57:17 There is this place in America. I don't know where it is. You know at the end of Indiana Jones Where they put the Ark of the Covenant In that gigantic warehouse It's a gigantic warehouse like that Full of cheese Because they need to control the dairy markets Oh it's just like

Starting point is 01:57:32 Blood diamonds Yeah yeah Or the diamonds yes So like when I don't know Too many cows Too much milk Too much cheese

Starting point is 01:57:40 The price would go down They just throw it in this fucking Gigantic cave And I mean it is just wheels of cheese and the price would go down, they just throw it in this fucking gigantic cave. And, I mean, it is just wheels of cheese. Like when the fucking apocalypse hits, send me to this place. By the way, speaking of apocalypse, my kids are going through this phase where they are obsessed with cursing. Who can curse?

Starting point is 01:58:01 Who's allowed to curse? Which words are cursed words? Can I say crap? Can I say damn say damn the f word the whole nine and they're just i mean literally every day non-stop questions about it keegan says to me the other day i hope i hope i wish i hope that there is a zombie apocalypse so that i'll be able to curse because i won't have to worry about going on timeout. And I wanted to be like... I want to do one thing on this planet. It's say fuck. I almost wanted to be like,

Starting point is 01:58:31 you know what, brother? I'm going to give you the next six minutes. Go nuts. Go home dressed as a zombie. Get it out of your system, bro. You can say it while I'm chasing you. Fuck, shit, bitch. Once I catch you, it's off.

Starting point is 01:58:48 I was having thoughts that I was like, I think I should stop cursing. My kids are really obsessing over this. They're stressing about it. They don't know what to do. I think they definitely heard me curse. They've heard some of my videos. They've said to me, well, are you allowed to? Taylor Swift's allowed to.

Starting point is 01:59:03 I'm like, this is a thing. You would tell the big two I have become one of those parents that like I'm not gonna complain about it but it is kind of a thing where it's like she was listening

Starting point is 01:59:15 to a bunch of Taylor Swift and then there's that song where she says fuck it a hundred thousand times in a row which one's that she says fuck it

Starting point is 01:59:21 if I can't have him fuck it if I can't have him like she says it like 50 times in a row and I'm like this is. Oh, yeah. Like, she says it like 50 times. And I'm like, ah, this is annoying because now I have my kid fucking. Damn it, Taylor. I wish you didn't do that. I used to be one of those kids.

Starting point is 01:59:32 Don't let your fucking kid listen to you. I don't know. She was listening to Sabrina Carpenter. And now all she's talking about is guys coming inside her. Like, I don't know what to do, man. I'm not mad at Sabrina, but fuck, this sucks. I get it now. But I was like, I think, you know,

Starting point is 01:59:47 I should just stop cursing. They're gonna start listening to my stuff. They hear me more. I'll just stop cursing. Second later, I'm like, this fucking guy! Shut the fuck up! I can't stop. It's in my blood. Anyway. Last voicemail? No, that was it. Alright uh we're back back in back

Starting point is 02:00:08 in the swing of things surviving barstool uh we'll be back tonight as we record this you'll be watching episode two of this week uh it's this week and next week right or the last two yeah i think 15th is the final so uh i know some people were complaining about the break you're gonna come back and watch you know you are so stop complaining and just fucking watch it uh as everyone says we're gonna see right now i think there is two divides the people who are on barst on survivor who you know admittedly do have the inside info they know what happened and the people outside of surviving the people who are on it were like this is going to be explosive and i feel like most of us outside of it are kind of like, I don't think it's going to be that explosive.

Starting point is 02:00:48 Yeah. We'll see. We'll find out. They saw it, so they have the inside info, but I also think they're skewed. It's tonight's episode is the big one, I think. I think tonight starts. I don't know if tonight's like no one. Well, whatever it is, it's not spoiling for anything because they'll have already watched it.

Starting point is 02:01:07 But I think tonight's the pink wedding, which I think is like, oh, that's like, I think there's like the big thing. But if it's not, can you cut that? But I think I think tonight is like supposed to be the big thing. But also like everything we have, like everything we've everyone talks about so much like everyone here is so fucking dramatic i know well so the thing is if all of this happens if all the drama and explosiveness they keep alluding to happens within the gameplay i think people will just be like that's survivor yeah it's gonna take some drastic like this affects outside the game stuff to really shake things up i mean you know i remember dave being like jersey jerry is dead to me and then he's like yeah laughing at jerry it's over

Starting point is 02:01:53 it's so it's gonna the whole survivor thing is is so silly like it's it's bad for business like having having been on the show and everyone's always, you don't know until you're in the show. It's a fucking show, man. Yeah, it's a game. Anyone who takes it that seriously is fucking weird. I do think it's more stressful than you realize, but also to let it really affect. That's also what made me mad about our season.

Starting point is 02:02:18 When Che bailed on us, I was like, you really can't just play this game? You have to make it about your whole life? We would have won the game The three of us you fucking idiot So it's almost like taking it too seriously Is It's kind of like a little bit paradoxical You know what I mean

Starting point is 02:02:34 Taking it seriously And maybe he's serious about it I don't know I haven't checked to see if he's worked with anyone since then Yeah when he was like I've never worked with anybody I do think some people carry grud checked to see if he's worked with anyone since then. Yeah, when he was like, I'm never working with anybody else. You don't ever work with any of those people? I do think some people carry grudges, for sure. But that's insane to me. I'm not saying it's right or it's not crazy, but look around, bro.

Starting point is 02:02:52 It's like fucking – I just want to crack wise. I just want to crack wise. If you don't want to get shot at, don't join the Army. Yeah. And we joined the Army to play a show, and then everyone's like – He told me he wasn't going to vote for me. That's the game.

Starting point is 02:03:04 That's what I mean. That's the game. That's what I mean. That's the game. If all of the hubbub is like, he told me he wasn't going to vote for me and he did. He backstabbed me. It's like, yeah, no fucking clue. No kidding. I don't get it. I don't know what it would take for me to really be like, oh, shit.

Starting point is 02:03:21 My entire reaction would have been like, oh, you fucking got me, dude. I didn't think you could do that. That's the game. You lied to me? shit i like my entire reaction would have been like oh you fucking got me yeah yeah like i don't think you could do that that's the game like you lied to me why it's the game yeah i don't know what it would take for me to be like there's no coming back from this right that's how they're acting so i i part of me is like i want it i want it to deliver but i'm also like no i don't that would be bad yeah but i'm definitely gonna make no, I don't. That would be bad. I'm definitely going to make fun of everybody if I'm like, they voted him out. They voted her out.

Starting point is 02:03:50 She won. They won. He won. Yeah, no fucking kidding. Someone had to win the game we started playing? Yeah. Right, right, right. But yeah, you know these people around here. You never know. Check out Survivor. We'll be back on Thursday.

Starting point is 02:04:04 Get your tickets to John and Francis's show, DC comedy loft, February 6th through 8th. And we'll see you next time. Yeah. Mutt's. សូវាប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បាាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.

KFC Radio - Nikki Glaser Hosted the Golden Globes and Smashed It - Full Episode

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