KFC Radio - Nikki Glaser Says Tom Brady Regrets Doing the Roast - Full Episode

Episode Date: May 16, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 03:21 Nikki Glaser is the Queen of Roasts 15:38 Tom Brady regrets The Roast 21:36 Others who went up to roast + Ben Afflec bombing 24:41 The Netflix Writers Write All the Jokes 41:52 Where Tom Brady drew the line 44:57 Comedy is back +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Manscaped: Get 20% Off + Free Shipping, with the code KFC at https://Manscaped.com.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. We were saying LeBron would be next. It would be amazing, but would he do it? I mean, it's really... You gotta have a pretty... You gotta be pretty secure to go up there and let people do what Tom let people do to him. Yeah, I think there was a part of Tom...

I mean, that was rough. It was insane that he did it. That was pretty rough. It was awesome that he did it. I don't know in hindsight if he would have done it knowing what he knows now. Where's?

He is in Italy. Oh. John is on a hot streak. Seeing Taylor Swift? No. Is she there, though, right now? I think she might be, yeah. Coming up.

I wouldn't be surprised if he blows a bag to go see Taylor Swift, then. Yeah. He is, I think, about to become a... Father? No. No. Please, God. A model. A fashion model.

Really? This company Del Toro Who makes like Italian leather Like loafers And I think they do Clothes as well But they're mostly shoes

He's like linked up with them This is the second time They've flown him out to Italy To do like Fashion shit Who What Gay man

Wants to fuck him What What fashion is that? John is very John So we went to Amsterdam With Bert bert yeah oh yeah right and we were told uh by bert it was the chinese new year and the color is red so you have to wear something red uh we went all out because this was like this crazy invitation everyone else was wearing like

a red t-shirt we i got like a red suit and john wore this red ones onesie uh i don't even know how it was like a disco onesie okay zipped up bell bottoms big collar yeah bright red and it ended up on ralph lauren's mood board for 2024 what somebody called us icon they were like we i work for ralph lauren and we are doing like our what's next and there was a fucking picture of that up there and so he got flown out to be a model oh he does look oh my god he does look like that picture was like he had the long jacket over and what's really funny is obviously the rest of that trip was like a shit show so every other picture from amsterdam is we look fat we look gross he looked awesome in that

one he's got a cigarette too you can't see it there he looks like very cool yeah that's like that's a side of himself he's been you know oh yeah i can see it's the one thing he's confident about in himself that's great he hates everything else about himself but he knows that he dresses well that's so that's so you gotta have one thing do you have one thing uh probably not yeah there's gotta be one thing that you're like i got like this is think about it uh the kind of father you are maybe i'm a good father yeah like that's like a lame answer though no it's not like i i sometimes feel that way about um because you can there's a lot of bad dads out there but like i always feel like when i'm comparing myself to people i'm like i you know

some people in the business i'm always like but they don't have as good of friends as i have like i have i have really good i have great friends like i'm i'm probably i'm like the chapelle of making friends okay so like i'll never like i look at dave chapelle and i'm like god that's just you can't even touch that kind of talent in terms of stand-up but i'm like but i can't even say that because dave chapelle has some great friends too. But I feel like there's, I got to find other places where I'm like, okay, I'm good at this. It's nice to have one or two things. At this point, I feel like you are considered the king of roasting, the queen of roasting.

Yeah. I mean. I'll take it. That's a great, I think that's a great. It's, you know, that. Accolade to have, I think that's a great accolade to have. I think it's a great. Roasts like kind of ebbed and flowed a little bit. They were so popular

and then they died down. But then this one I think is going to renew it all and you were like the standout. And I'm trying to figure out what that like actually means because it's not something I do all the time.

Yeah, like I think so, but like they don't occur often. They're like Olympics. Like they occur enough that like you could just. But they used to not, right? Wasn't occur often. They're like Olympics. They occur enough that you could just... But they used to not, right? Yeah, they used to be a little bit like once every two years. Even that? It was that far apart?

I think it was a year and a half sometimes, yeah. I thought those were almost a couple times a year. No, no. Once a year at most. And then, so yeah, I think what I think, I've thought about it a lot over this week because I keep getting that moniker of like, you're the queen of roasting. And like, what, I think what I think, I've thought about it a lot over this week because I keep getting that moniker of like, you're the queen of roasting.

And like, what does it mean? It just means I am really good at working hard. You know what I think it means too? I think you're very observant. Yeah. Because I think it takes, you know, you have to like think about the other person and put yourself in there, you know what I mean?

Well, you got to think about the audience too. You got to think about what the audience knows about this person. You also have to communicate what you actually feel about this person, which I think is an important thing. Like, I think in roasts in the past, I've just been like, whatever the best joke is,

just say the harshest, most crazy joke, because I looked up to Geraldo, and he's just like rapid fire, no, like he's injecting his own personality into it, but not in the way that i i chose to and i didn't even mean to but i think on this roast when i watched it back like you can see me being like i'm sorry like and kind of like laughing along with it and i'm like okay there's where i'm coming into it like i still have the harsh jokes but like i actually do feel bad and i'm i

think i communicated through it that i'm a nice person with like sick jokes. And I think that's who I am. It's at my core. I'm an empathetic, kind person who's not like just a mean bitch and like trying to hurt people. Like I really don't like that at all. That's never the intent. I feel like people know that. Yeah. But sometimes I look back on some stuff I've said and I'm like,

Jesus Christ. From Rose specifically? Yeah. Just like some clips that have appeared and I never watched my clips, but I think I've had enough distance from some of the roasts that i'm like oh this is like a different person so i can watch you are a different person totally yeah yeah i mean that's how many years ago now so it's like yeah you would have you would hope that your comedy and your you yourself have evolved yeah you would you would hope but i sometimes look at my life and i'm like

i haven't changed fucking at all like no that's not true kind of like i maybe looks wise gotten different looking but like my just the way i live the things i eat the things i like the things i my bad habits like all of it's still yes spot on from tiger can't change the stripes you know what i mean like yeah i wanted to though like i want i want to i want new stripes so desperately. God. But... I was on a flight yesterday, and Hannah Einbinder, you know, from Hacks... Oh, yeah. Was on it, and we...

She had... I was going up to the front to ask for a Diet Coke. I had just woken up from, like, just, like, the most disgusting sleep. Like, drool. Like, back pain. Like, making, like, noises. And my eye mask is, like, up here on my eyes on my eyes and my hair is like poofed up from it pushing up and it's like just scraggly i looked disgusting um and i see her exit from the the um

you know the front of the plane she's just got gone up there to ask for something and she's like clutching a hot that's why i got hot tea today because i'm trying to be like someone that i'm not like and she had like a sweater on that was like over her. Looked all cute and shit. Like it was right. It went down to here and she was just like walking back like sipping it. And the flight attendant was like, oh, and like so sweet. And like you could just tell they had this amazing rapport.

And she just looked so cozy. Like she was walking out on the dock of like to watch the sunrise at like an exclusive resort. She just like so amazing and I was just like, can I get a Diet Coke? And I like chugged it there and I was just like, that's the difference between us

and I want to be that other girl and I like, I can present that way sometimes with enough help. What are you talking about? That girl is so fucking crazy. You're so crazy to think that that girl,

the way she was getting her tea on an airplane. She just looked graceful and delicate and beautiful and just confident. And I just seemed like a mess. I'm wearing four different pairs of Taylor Swift merchandise. None of it matches. It all has hummus stains on it. I just seem like that's the kind of person.

That's who I am. And that's fine. Yeah. That's just like you can't. But to me those are my stripes is i think there's it's a very fine line between evolving and growing and like selling out and changing you know what i mean yeah like you still want to i still i take pride in the fact that i feel like I am pretty much the same person doing this yes you know viewpoints have changed and some of the things I've gone back on I'm like that was wrong or that wasn't funny but I'm still like the way you treat people yeah well definitely that but even just the

way like I'm still spitting out brash opinions and taking one side and arguing and fighting and being great like that's just how I do this shit yes and it's i'm at the point where it's like oh this is exhausting but it's just like how but that's how you do it yeah it's the only way i i don't know how to like like there are things where i'm like i don't have to take such a strong stance here against this thing and i could just middle it and be like it's pretty good but it's pretty bad and put it out there and let the pressure to them to keep up with what you've done in the past and like maybe there will be people that say you're softening and so you know it's not that it's it's more like i can't i can't do that like i will feel like a sellout if i'm like if i know

if i hate something and i'm like i usually put out a video being like, fuck this. Yeah. And if I were to go like, well, but I can understand where some people like it, I would be like, die. That's interesting. Which is I think totally childish and stupid. And as I'm getting older, I'm so sick of like having people – like fighting people on the internet and having so many people that hate me.

Yeah. And I'm like maybe it would be better for like my mental health to just absolutely be like here's the story but it would also be you covering a part of yourself and i think that but that's i feel the opposite i feel like as i get older i care i am more tapping into like how i just feel about something like stop trying to make it what people want to hear like stop trying to be a comedian that you're like that who you admire or emulating someone and like when i just am myself and i tap into like what is funny about me even though it's not even close to as funny as i wish i were but like it's always going to be easier just to see like how do i really feel about this thing or i feel like yeah i just and

i feel that my depression which is like the thing that holds me back more than anything in life is like the self-doubt and depression only really comes on when I have to be fake in any way. Right. When you're being genuine and doing something you like or where you're comfortable. If I have to just be too nice to someone, it's not even about being nice because I feel like I'm a nice person even if I don't want to be because I'm just polite. But when I'm being nice to someone because I want them to like or like maybe they have something that they can give me which we all are guilty of but I feel like with this little pop I've had from the roast and suddenly those kind of tables have turned where those people that I maybe used to have to be like

nice to and I didn't really like them now they want to be friends with me and it feels nice to be like I don't have to be nice to you I don't have to act like what you say is interesting or right because you want me now because i because i'm in a position of power where i don't need you anymore but it's not even about like i'd oh finally you came around like i don't i literally was only being nice to you because i felt like you had some you were like an audience or something from me and now i don't need you and it's like a it's nice to be able to let that go and not be a dick but just not because those are the times where I feel depressed after a night of like kissing someone's ass or being locked into a conversation where I'm like Nikki you didn't even like that person why were you talking to them because you thought maybe I don't even know like it yeah it can be

just uh something that doesn't even exist that I've invented that they they could give me or something and it's not even concrete like I'm not and I'm not even someone who really is like, oh, I can get this thing. And if I'm friends with this person, they'll put me on this thing. Yeah, I don't get that from you at all. I really don't have that. But I think it's just subconscious

that we all want to be liked. Yeah, totally. But so you feel like this pop you got from this roast was like significant? Yeah. Wow, that's roast was significant? Yeah. Wow, that's interesting. Really? Yeah.

I will never experience another pop like this unless I start dating Taylor Swift or something. Because it was Super Bowl levels of watched. It was a cultural moment in terms of now we're a week out from after it's aired and it's starting to die down. But yesterday I was on a plane. three people were watching it on a plane like everyone watched it everyone was talking about the next day and it was just like it was on every every show covered it it was just every and that's it was kind of like the mash finale or whatever like where we all yeah americans don't all watch things together anymore numbers like i mean it's been number one for yeah i feel like it probably like a hundred million americans watched it like you said like we all watched the super

bowl and so it's it felt like that to me and i don't think that there's ever anything that especially on a comedic level where we like for comedians to pop in that way yeah i was like the last time a comedian was talked about as much as i was from this like in the amount of headlines amount of people singing my praises like was Chris Rock getting slapped yeah like was that much of a moment controversy yeah it's not just like that was awesome not never and like so wait wait wait wait it's it's impossible and I didn't predict it it was just it really feels like I'm living a dream of like I didn't know it could be this but it it's the greatest thing that could ever ever happen in my career wow i'm happy to hear that it it you feel that way too because it's not so wait did

you know going in the level of what of like how many stars were going to be there and all that because yeah because we like as we uh just hit up like uh you know obviously with bar uh barcelona patriots in Boston, a lot of connections. So John reached out to some guy and we got a couple tickets and I was like,

cool, I'll go. Like, whatever. You were there? No. What happened was we,

we had the most like, poorly planned trip to LA ever. It was like two dudes who don't, it's Jackie's fault. It's Jackie's fault. Okay.

Because, you know, guys don't like check schedules and and flights and days that events are happening yeah like you might go to LA thinking that there's a roast of Tom Brady on Tuesday night and then you all of a sudden find out it's actually Sunday night yes something like that might happen and uh I had my kids all weekend and so I was like in order for me to make that we'd have to I'd have to change everything and I was like you just go it's fine yeah then when I. And so I was like, in order for me to make that, we'd have to, I'd have to change everything. And I was like, you just go. It's fine. Yeah.

Then when I saw the event, I was like, I would have thrown the kids in the fucking overhead compartment and go. It was crazy. But did you know that? Like going in? I knew it's Tom Brady. So like, I'm not stupid. I don't follow sports, but I'm not like when his name was announced.

But you knew like the all, I mean, everybody. It wasn't just him and A-List. Like Kim Kardashian being there like i saw i went to rehearsal the day two days before and i saw kim kardashian and and zach efron and uh robert craft and uh yeah i saw like this the seating arrangement i was like oh people cat williams like i was like people are showing up to this so this is a big deal and i knew it would be like they're always always a huge deal but it's also tom brady there's never been someone that high profile right and it's live and it's on

netflix like i just knew it was so i worked really hard in the sense that like this is your this is your one shot so you did okay but you so you knew that that's great so how does that feel it exceeded my expectations by far because i've done these roasts before And it's been like a pop every single time Where you're like okay But this was insane Usually roasts I feel If I remember correctly Are either people like

Kind of on the downside Where you're like celebrating What they did And they want to kind of stay relevant Or I remember Hannibal Buress Talking about the Justin Bieber one And he was like Congrats on this blatantly transparent

Attempt to curry favor with the public you know but this one it's like Tom fucking Brady yeah technically he's like retired but he's only just gonna start his second career yes so it's like a very weird scenario to be like we're roasting a guy who's like forever in his prime basically

I don't know that we'll ever get anyone we were saying LeBron would be next it would be amazing. But would he do it? I mean, it's really pretty. You got to be pretty secure or up there and let and let people do what Tom let people do. Yeah,

I think there's a part of that was rough. It was insane. It was pretty rough. It was awesome that he did it. I don't know if in hindsight, if he would have done it, knowing what he knows now, because I think that there's some part of people,

even in me, where I'm like, they're not going to make fun of this one thing. Like, I know what their line is, but they won't go there because I don't even know if they know that's my line. I don't think he knew we were going to say he lost his family and stuff like that. Like 50 times in a row.

Yeah. I think that's one of those things where you're like, I've been in a locker room. I've been with the guys. I have thick skin. I can take it. He was ready. And then Kevin Hart kind of sets the tone right away where it's like, we're going to

demolish your family decisions. And I wonder if a part of him was like, you know, he kept a good face on probably because he can't move it anymore. Yeah. Yeah. He chose a good face for that day. The one he took out of the closet and put on. But I wonder if a part of him on the inside was like oh i did not think about this at all like yeah i did not

think this through at all they're gonna do this all night long but if that's like you you can't go into these thinking that you're gonna be different than anyone else that's been roasted and there's too much footage out there of roasts where i can't really feel sorry for these people that sign up for it because you watch a g Geraldo compilation and just think of that's exactly what's coming for you. But I feel like, again, most of the time, those guys or girls, whoever's being roasted, are not like ever quite on his level. No. Right?

And also, like I said, still killing it impervious to some. I definitely think he was like, how can you make fun of me? Because no one has. No one has. No one for 20, 30 years has made fun of him. Was it you or someone else called out I think it was you, called out leaving the first baby. Was that you? Oh, yes. Yeah.

And I was like, because as a Jets fan for so many years, I was trying to always tear Tom down. And I was always like, does nobody care about the first Brid Richard Moynihan? What's going on there? And you were the only one who mentioned that. And I was like, I don't even care about that. No, of course not.

But you know it's ammo. I don't think someone has to. He's also a great dad. I got into like a. Takes care of all of them. Yeah, he's a great father. That's the thing that I'm like. I think that's why people actually make the joke.

I was able to joke about it because if he, you know, I probably would have done it if he was a bad father too and had more vitriol. But, like, I really felt bad that anyone walked away from that thinking that Tom abandoned his kids in any way. Because that is not the case. Yeah, he lost his family. He lost his wife. But did he lose her? Or was he happy to, like, did she leave him?

Sure. The story could be. I also don't think he expected everyone to be like, yo, she fucked that jujitsu guy over and over and over. But I think that's the nature of these. They're very smart, that whole camp. They have it all under control. But I do wonder if part of them was like, whoa, shit. Well, I've dealt with these before where the executives are scared to ask the person,

hey, can we joke about this? Can we joke about this? I was going to say, were there guidelines? That means someone has to go to Tom, can people joke about this? Can we joke about this? I was going to say, were there guidelines? That means someone has to go to Tom, can people joke about you kissing your kid for too long? Yeah.

Can people joke about you leaving Bridget Moynihan? Nobody jokes about that. No one wants to say that to him, so no one checks. There was no kid kissing. We chose not to do that. We all were like,

we're going to leave the kid alone. I mean, I had written so many jokes about it because it was the only thing I knew about him. I wouldn't like, I guess you are making fun of the kid. Yeah, like it just brings the kid into it the kids in middle school like

it's just like but i was going the whole answer where's the kid i know i was wondering if anyone would feel the deficit of that but i certainly all spoke kind of we like it just got around through producers and meetings that like that's what we were going to decide collectively to do is like not do that joke uh jeff ross was the one that was like hey this is what we're kind of thinking and i was like yeah i'm into that like i don't want to i don't want him to be offended or hurt like and the kids not asking for it but the giselle stuff i was even a little bit like she doesn't want to be she's not volunteering for this she divorced this guy that's why like she should get half that money of whatever you got for the

rest i think so like i owe her an apology like i'll if i ever see her i'll probably like leave the event because i don't i'm so embarrassed of what i said about her like even you know it's just i definitely went too hard i wonder how that goes because i i did i saw like tweets the next day or the next week i i never really read anything formal about it though that said like giselle bunch and not happy with disappointed yeah and like which is like no fucking shit but i also wonder like did did they even have a conversation first and say like hey this might be you know they might talk about i guess it depends on how i think you really have to be delusional and think no they would never talk about that because then it's like what are they going to talk about tom like i don't what there's a reason why everybody

said that because there's not much else I think deflate gate you've lived a fucking perfect life because he kind of addressed that and was like you know I think

you can see in his act the things that he thought he was gonna come they were gonna come after him for which was the interesting part of it is that he really

I don't think expected a lot of and we were all we didn't know he was like uneasy I just got the as a viewer I didn't feel that necessarily I wasn't like he's squirming wasn't so bad but it was just you could just tell everyone kind of

didn't know the line and we were all kind of all over the place of what the line was and like i wish there would have been more communication about like here's the types of jokes that were happening because i was finding out you know days before like oh we can do aaron hernandez like i thought that would kind of be off limits that to me was just such a tragic thing like yeah and i don't want to bring his victims fan like his victims family like and even he's a victim in a lot of ways because cte is what made him even do any of that and it's like so it was just but then when yeah i heard uh julian edelman had a joke about like you know him being hung or whatever and so i was like oh okay so we're gonna do that i heard he like practiced it too yeah he was at the comedy store like running a set like that's

that's i really appreciate he had good delivery he was doing that thing where he kept hitting the the podium he was and when you call him a squinty eyed fuck boy yeah oh yeah that when you when you said jeff ross is pickled oh thank you man those are i you know those little ones that are just like so simple whatever yes but those little ones that are just like yeah i the squinty eyed fuck boy like i i thought there were gonna be so many jokes about him being squinty i mean you can't see his eyes it's crazy they're like so i thought it would be like that would be overdone at that point so i just threw it in as like a beginner to a joke but then it was only mention of him being squinty did you did you work that out of the club yeah oh yeah it went a million so you so you

just tell the audience like this is what i'm doing yeah yeah and like that's cool to get to see who each person is and right next time i'll bring pictures i think cool to be like like what we do when we do our live podcast we just have like a computer and we have a big screen yeah but i have to i'm doing like five sets a night running from place to place. Cool. And I'm just holding up being like, this is Drew Bledsoe. Got it. That would be much more helpful.

He was the other one who was good. He was so good. So cool. Let's talk about Ben Affleck now. Oh, yeah. That was... I mean, we need to almost have a roast for Ben Affleck's roast of Tom Brady. That was insane.

That was like I'm watching a... I was watching it from the side and I haven't watched it again back, like how it looked because I don't really, I don't like to watch people bomb. It's not like something that- No, no.

I think even if I heard about it, I'd be like, I don't need to see that because it's- Well, you know what? He's usually that way. He cannot watch anything cringy. Yeah. But he was like, this is awesome.

It was. He was like, because he was there and he was like- I know what happened. This is crazy. He didn't prepare. prepare um he's someone who's famous enough that thinks like this is probably beneath them to do this and so i'm just gonna do a favor it's not gonna be that big of a deal and then like everyone else these things everyone and you know you know i've i've had the same kind of things of like this and then you do it and you're like oh this is way bigger than i thought

it would be i was kind of phoning it in he like had a pitch to the writers probably about like you know what maybe I do an angle of like I'm mad about tweets because he's probably he that was so self-centered yes he said that like and then he mentioned himself like a thousand times about like you know he is a bone to pick the only person who's gotten it worse than you is me or some shit like that or like you know I'll tell you how to it's like it wasn't good and he locked into a premise that he had to do the whole thing there was not like everyone else has joke joke joke so if you're joke bombs you're on to the next one the very the first time he was like this one tweet came from henry one two three nine so yeah like i was like and then there was more of that like he didn't

feel i guess when you don't have any other material yeah you just have to he could have though anyone would have been the writers would have written they could have there were so many jokes that didn't get used that could have filled up an entire set of his that would have been amazing but he just wanted a either he they couldn't get him on the phone enough to work out something yeah he didn't practice enough or um he just picked a bad premise and then he had to stick to it the whole time and it didn't it didn't work right away and so it's not going to work later it's not going to get better as we go we gave him the benefit of the doubt because he's Ben Affleck

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do not claim to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, and have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA. Yeah, the roast production company that's putting it on hires, like, I think they probably had a team of, like, maybe 10 writers. And they write from everyone. They are, like, not famous comedians themselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Isn't that funny though, you would think? But they must be like killers, right? They're killers. They're all like from different writers. It's almost like people who write songs for the people but don't sing. Yeah, yeah. And they write thousands of jokes. Do they perform themselves?

No, no. They're just in a writer's room. Some of them are performers. Is that something that's like, I'm really good at writing these, but I'm not comfortable on stage? Is that why they perform themselves? No. No, they're just in a writer's room. Some of them are performers. Is that something that's like, I'm really good at writing these, but I'm not comfortable on stage? Is that why they do that? Because I would be like, I'm going to go up there and say these fucking jokes. Fuck you.

Well, they're not on the roast. They're not booked. So either you take a writing gig or like, there's a couple of the writers that I'm like, you should be up there. Because I know these guys. They're roast comics and they do the local scene and they do stuff. But they're going to take the job because it's a great job right and and it is cool to get your i've written for people before yeah and it's like feels so good to get your joke read especially if someone that like delivers it in a way that

you're like okay they really they did a great job yeah they did it justice and you know you might not ever get like public acknowledgement for that joke but i mean yeah i i it it would that part i'm too much of a narcissist to be a joke writer yeah i was gonna say that part i could not do it so going that was me that the first one was her but the next one was mine i i i give them that right to tell their friends like if anyone's written a joke for me i'm like you can tell everyone that you wrote it and if in personal conversation when people are like that joke i loved i'll go oh that was blah blah blah it's like i'll always give them credit but it's like you it's it's it's a delicate thing because we all every person on that dais used writers every single one like that's

just what you do some people don't well we all kind of act like we're doing it ourselves but it's not true and it's the same way that you can say you love um you know comedic actors or um you know uh yeah there's script writers all of them have joke writers and you go oh but it's sometimes i forget about that when i'm trying to do my shit and i'm like i'm just doing this by my goddamn self you have to and everyone else has a fucking team of people. It's amazing to ask for help because what I found is that I get jokes sent to me. It gets me being like, I want to beat these.

Right. Because I don't want to use other people's jokes. But then sometimes I'm like. This is just the best joke. I have great style when it comes to picking jokes. Like, I get sent a page of jokes. And I have a good. I'm going to bring a delivery to that like people don't

really begrudge people when they don't write their own music i mean yes some people go oh she doesn't really but we still enjoy it it depends on like i do uh so i feel like there's a lot of parallels between rap and comedy and i feel like in rap when you don't write your own rhymes that becomes a thing yeah i'm sure yeah and i feel like in comedy that's a thing as well where yes but then but stand up is different than roast yes i was gonna say if you don't write your own stand up routine you get fucking like blackballed right yeah or at least you get like kind of all the industry or whatever you know yeah right everybody kind of knows and it's like annoying that the public doesn't know but but when it comes to roasts, that rule goes away.

Because it's just because I am writing my own material. Like there's the jokes. I wrote many of my jokes. And it's like nice to have a collaborative process. And I got too much stuff going on that I can't write jokes all day. It is a full-time job writing jokes. And if you want to have the best set possible, you got to ask for help. Like I wouldn't host the Oscars and go go i'm going to write my own monologue no

fucking way i you know but do you have those same writers for your set your regular no no no special i am now um going to do the thing where i'm just so disorganized with my set like i don't write anything down it's all from memory and yeah and when i see of comedy well when i get to the point where i have to put together a special, I go, oh, fuck. Like I start writing it down and so many things disappear because you just forget them. So I'm bringing I'm just started yesterday. I decided to like because it was such a rewarding process working with writers on this roast joke. And then when you succeed, it's like you all if you feel like you have a family that's all rooting for you.

Like they it was just so much more fun working with people and making the jokes that i wrote better making the jokes that they were wrote better and so i'm gonna bring a writer on the road with me just to keep track of all my jokes and like afterwards just like talk about stuff and because jokes get so much better when you workshop them yeah like a song like you taylor swift writes all her own music but she's still producing with people right it's just pretty much hiring a producer that has the ability to write what i'm doing for this guy and i'll say this because he's never going to listen to this episode but on uh on his birthday this year i'm going to give him me and uh our other producer pavs i've been writing down everything he says on the podcast that i think is a great premise for stand-up comedy yes that's so great for your birthday this year

like here is I mean I probably got like a couple dozen of them right now amazing because I think he would be great at it he's doing a sketch show now and he's like coming out we found out he's like an actor

and he's like getting the comedy like that and it's like I think he doesn't even realize he says shit on a podcast off the cuff that I'm like that was the funniest joke I've heard in a long time and I've been watching specials and I've been watching this and this and that it's like if you

knew that and you know here it is now punch it up and write it out and it's that's so much of the work is like paying attention and writing the things down and and working on it later like the people that are best at this uh are really those people that do that so i i realized after this roast i was like oh I killed because I like asked for help and I took it so seriously with stand up I'm just like I'll just go on stage and do it it always works out but this I was like you can like I need

to implement this amount I worked on the roast for everything in my life it was fun too and it was just like and ultimately I don't know I really am okay with being like i curated this thing and that's and i delivered it and skill as well by the way like it's and i still am writing the jokes too so it's just it doesn't feel like it takes away anything to

involve other people i've always said that about this job give your friends jobs well for me like i i know in my friend group guys that are way funnier than me and kind of the ones that did cultivate all of our jokes and our sayings and all that but i was just the internet nerd who would like put it in a blog and write it and do social media and all that i was like if you if you guys did it you probably would have this job but you didn't you know i i'm good at paying attention to what is funny i know what is funny like that's really my skill right it just jumps out like that was good really good at being like that write that down and so i can do it for myself when i'm funny but like

i feel the same way like my friends are so fucking funny and they're just you know she's a pilates instructor and i'm like can i have that she's like yeah i'm not doing anything with it but that's a talent knowing to know that that and then i take this little thing she said and sculpt it into something that actually totally is a joke so that's that is a talent that it is and it's you know it's hard for me sometimes because you want to be someone who just like writes all their own stuff and i do like my stand-up is 99.9999 me but you know roe sir thing where it's like okay it's other people's jokes sometimes and you feel like can I take credit for this and it's just like yes if this is the system

if late night hosts can take credit for being funny right when they have a whole writing staff it's like you can be naturally athletic but if you don't like put the work in and know how to do it and have a trainer and a masseuse and a coach and like you need help and I think in comedy and probably in

rapping which i would not even be mad if like my favorite artists rap artists like ask for help because when you yeah when you're starting out you have all the time in the world to work on your raps all day long but then you're doing press all day right and hair and makeup you're doing yeah and you're in the studio like it's like it's yeah it's a lot of work i also feel like you you know when you're young and you're hungry and you're coming up, you have your view of life, whether it's comedy or rap. And it's like, you might be rich. You might have a wife and kids.

You might have this, that, the other. And it's like you can still get that perspective from other people or still do that. But I mean, like, Drake is a guy who everybody always gives him shit for not writing his own records. Or he has, like, a reference record where someone else – it leaks. Like, this is his song, but someone else was singing it first. Okay. And it's like, so you can hear the hook and this is how it's supposed to be and all that. Oh, right, right.

And, like, everybody who makes it to his level, like, pop like they all do they all do it he's just he got like caught and they hammered that and now i wish i'm sure he wishes he thinks that was all they were talking about yeah no kidding that is brutal it's rough but like it all comes out eventually does it yeah i think i mean i i i don't think i'm sure that people like get away with it until they you know you know what I think is funny I I think he said on one of his responses to Kendrick I'm not a pedophile I'm too if I'm so rich and famous now I would have been caught by now which is like I think so dumb and ignorant that it almost proves that he's like we all know now that it's the people who are rich and powerful yeah yeah hide it but

if but if you were like a little kid you'd be like oh a rich a famous person would get caught right away like what are you talking about right so him saying that i think is almost like you're so fucking dumb to say that that i think you're not doing that you're not oh that's interesting the first line of logic would be if you're in the if you're in the spotlight and the public eye all the time you could never get away with this right now we've learned that that's that's how you get away with it but someone saying that is like yo dude yeah like how have you not heard about the rings like you're potentially being obtuse or you're just like right actually innocent and i i mean i do think that there um i think there is legally a different term from being attracted to 16 year

olds versus seven year olds right and i think that's the area we're getting into you're a creep yeah you like young girls yeah you're like pedophile is a whole other ball and you know it used to mean something in this country when you called someone a pedophile yeah i called the guy pedophile in 2010 let's call it oh cool, cool. And we almost lost the entire company because he was dead ass right in his lawsuit for defamation. I said, it was a guy in Jersey City. He said he bought a lottery ticket. And then he said, I lost it, but I did win.

I had the numbers. So give me the money. That was the vlog. I was writing about that. And this guy looked so creepy. And I made the title, Jersey City Pedophile. Jesus. Fights.

Yeah. Like, I didn't even leave any room. This is back in the day where we were just fucking slandered. Oh, yeah. But the very first, so the headline said that. And the very first line of the blog said, just kidding, he's not actually a pedophile, but he does look like one, right? Yeah.

And if I had put that in the title, it would have been fine. Fine. But if you don't click on it, and he sued like 100 million dollars too much he waited because he wants to be able to become a pedophile with that kind of money that's when you can start he waited to the last day to file the lawsuit i think it has a one-year statute on defamation and he fucked up the paperwork he sued like barstool sports.com when you need to sue Barstool Sports LLC or whatever it was. And it went away. But if it didn't, I remember being like, I just ruined Barstool Sports.

Like this guy hired me. I was like a year in. And I was like, I just torpedoed this whole fucking thing. But yeah, you cannot. But my point now is that everybody calls everybody. Like this dude has labeled this guy a pedophile left and right. And it's like you can't say cannot everybody calls everybody like this dude has labeled this guy a pedophile left and right and it's like you can't say that unless you have proof yeah you really and you're gonna share the proof it's like this is right you're gonna fucking

i'm sure there are people who reached out to drake that were like hey man i know you want to like win your battle but you need to like make this go away because like we're nike and we you know what i mean we're we're we can't be associated with this anymore so stop talking about it right like he was so screwed people were like why aren't you addressing the allegations and then when he did they were all like you sound crazy because you do if you make a song going i'm not a pedophile i'm not a pedophile i'm not a pedophile you sound crazy and if you don't talk about it you're hiding it about being responding to anything is that when you respond to it you just look so much crazier and you like beat into it you got it you have to ignore it you have to

like the only if you fucking nail it you can respond otherwise you just look at a weirdo yeah and he i mean he's got to be just going through it right now he you know he's had it good for a while he's he'll be fine. He'll be fine. Yeah. When I was going hard on Tom Brady, like a part of me, I just was like, you'll be okay. He's had a $375 million deal. He'll be fine. Yeah. He's good.

Everything's going to be okay for these people. Right. And yeah, there is footage of him making out with a 17-year-old backstage. Facts are facts. You got to wrap? Five minutes? Okay. Wait, to go back to what you could and could not say.

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The one thing Brady stood up and went over to Jeff Ross and said, no more jokes about the handjob. That was his do not talk about? Yeah. That's fucking insane. Because Robert Kraft is his like yeah but like it's just like making fun of his dad i know but it's like all right you went to a fucking it's not a big deal but i think getting craft to get there that night he probably promised

him nothing was going to happen i don't really know the facts around it but it was a little weird to be like white kids all fair game this is is what This is Tom Brady This is why Giselle's no longer He puts football Above family Right So that was a clear indication What if you just said that What if you just got up there

And said Tom Brady Puts football above family I mean That's the joke I really wanted to In so many ways Because it's so clear

That's what was going on Kevin Hart did a really good job of that Yeah You lost your wife and kids To go 8-9 For the Tampa Bay Bucks Yes Bad choice bro Yeah and it's but but that's what it takes to be tom brady right you have to be that

yeah obsessed and do you think he just gets a fat check to do that from netflix it had to be so good it's like not only are you gonna lend us like your brand basically for three hours but we're gonna fucking rip you down 20 mil i think he's gotta be you know what i actually bet it is i bet you he gets a piece of it i bet you that they're gonna do the greatest roast of all time it'll be lebron next and yeah i think he should he should he cracked it he's always been notorious for saying giselle taught him don't take money take equity i bet you that's what he's doing. Because that's the only thing that would make sense to me. It's like a one-time check, no matter how fat it is.

It's like people are going to look at you a little different now. People are always going to remember the day that you got flamed for that shit. As someone who, an outsider perspective, do you think he walked away from, do you think he looks good at the end of the day based on public response? I think in a weird way. For the brand.

People are not going like yeah you know what he is a deadbeat they're like no yeah no he got flamed for it but it wasn't like but it is true but I think we also know

that he takes care of his kids and all that yeah but like but overall for his brand but there's plenty of people trust me that

he didn't look like a loser coming off no not at all he looked cool but I think he's just so cool that he also gets the benefit of the doubt for stuff like that. Yeah. Cause I know when people will talk about my shit, there's nobody who's like, but he's

a good dad and takes care of it. It's just like your marriage fell apart. Fuck you. Ha ha ha. And I think with Tom Brady, it's like, there is truth in that, but they're just like, but he's awesome. So whatever, you know? Yes.

But I, I do think there was, I don't think the public opinion changed or anything. But I do wonder if Tom Brady walked away going like, man, like people, you know, like nobody talks to me like that. Like, holy shit. No one has ever talked to him like that in 30 years. And I'm sure he built in like, okay, I'm going to get made fun of.

But then when it went like this much. I just don't think you expect it. Especially when you're living in a bubble of everyone being so nice to you sycophantic only yes man which is just the nature of being that famous right you really create this delusion that no one could ever make fun of you but those that's the best thing about roast is that you can just go toward the thing i love about it is that in the aftermath like if you would have probably i ran into some people from netflix last night like you know, they were talking about the success of it. And I was like,

and they go, no, one's talking about how offensive it was. Like really, that's not the conversation. And if you would have looked at the script, like if you would have just read the script and before it taped, people would have been like,

we can't do this. Right. But it's so lovely. Like the response afterwards has just been like, that was so fun and funny. Like, but it was so offensive. I mean,

I said retarded. The F word got said a lot. The other F word. N words. It was all. All of it. That's why we were just talking before you came. But no one's talking about it being offensive.

It's so refreshing. I can't stand Jerry Seinfeld continually saying comedy is dead. It's like, look around. It's not. Look what just happened up there. I'm confused about Seinfeld. What bits is he doing that he can't do everywhere? He's so clean. He works clean, too. I'm confused about Seinfeld. What bits is he doing that he can't do everywhere? He's so clean.

He works clean, too. It shouldn't affect him at all. So I'm wondering what he can't say. I'm interested in that because I think he must have a point because he's saying it. He must be feeling it. But I'm wondering what I feel like. You're making movies about Pop-Tarts, dude. Yeah, I'm curious about that.

But I do think it was blown open the other night. Like, I'm so excited for what I'm now able to say at any time. Right. Now. Yeah, I wonder if, like, now when you do your set or something, it's like, well, I said retarded over there. And now I'm in trouble here. I used to have a whole bit about where I said retarded on stage.

And I was really nervous about it. I was only doing it on live shows. I would never put it on a special. And I tried to put it on this recent special. But then I was like, I i can't it's not time and then i started doing the retarded joke that i did about gronkowski and i was doing it around town i was like it's so fun i'm not gonna do it on the roast though that's i can't say retarded like that but then it was like by the time i'd run it so much it was like no this is killing too hard and i'm gonna crack it open i'm saying retarded you know what

is great about that it's back baby but what's But what's better is it was not as funny as when you said, me no fake money. So it's like you used it, but it wasn't like a crutch because you still wrote something even better. And I think that's the best way to do that kind of stuff. That's a good point. You're not lazy with it, but you still said it. But it's wild to me that three weeks ago I was like,

I could never say retarded on TV. Like, that's fun we wrote that joke, but this stays in the screen room. And then it was like, no, I was able to say it live on Netflix. That's fun. We wrote that joke but this stays in the screen room and then it was like no I was able to say it live on Netflix to the biggest audience ever. That is that's something I know there's something

probably disappointing about that to many people but I think that's a good sign. No that's a good thing. Yeah. They're telling me we gotta wrap up but I just

I wanna know so you went into it knowing what it was you nailed it. You walk out people are giving you know Tony and you basically

are like all the talk. I mean that's gotta feel just fucking incredible right yeah is that the best moment of your career yeah best moment best week of my life yeah yeah like just everything changed i wanted to do it and i did it and probably then some yes and everyone's talking about an olympic like balance beam routine like the level of difficulty yes and i and like almost like i'd never done it that well prior like at practice at like you know like can she can she land this like almost like i'd never done it that well prior like at practice at like you know like can she can she land this next thing like i didn't know if i could and so when i did it was just like it's just the best feeling ever and then you know just then i've said this before but

i've always done really well on the roast like i've always had a set where i'm like oh this was i was top two yeah like for all the roasts i've done but they aren't talked about in this way that this one is because this one was live and all the other ones are edited so everyone rises all the laughter everyone look good everyone looks like they killed that heart so i've never been like why am i not standing out that's just the way it is and so i didn't know that they could know this was immediate feedback and it was right away too it was like afterwards it was like who won and it was like nicky and tony yeah you know like that was and i've never won anything in my life so it's a great it's a great one if you're gonna pick the first thing to win it's that it is it is the best i just lucked out sometimes you know so many things i can

point to my career where i was like wrong place wrong time just had a bad set on the wrong night with the wrong person watching you You can a million times. You can point to these moments. And this is just one where everything just lined up perfectly. And it's immense pressure. Yeah, I'm sure you just got to sustain it now. Ride the wave. Ride the wave, girl.

Do all the press do everything. Or I just want to go away and just be like, just remember. No, no, no. Ride this. I'm riding it. You got your special out. Yeah. Tour dates. Yeah, i'm on tour all

new material you can watch the special on hbo it's the number two streaming movie on hbo it's the best special they've ever had wow in terms of people watching so people are fucking loving it it's called someday you'll die it came out um just the saturday after the roast and um so check that out but if you go if you watch that and then you want to come see me on tour you won't i have all It came out just the Saturday after the roast. So check that out. But if you watch that and then you want to come see me on tour, I have all new material. So I'm on tour. God damn.

So many cities coming up. Everywhere. Do a residency in Vegas with David Spade at Venetian. But I have a bunch of solo tour dates, nickiglaser.com. And then I have a podcast twice a week called Nickiglaser Podcast. Where are you living? St. Louis. And you have a residency in Vegas?

Like a semi. It's like every couple months we do a weekend together so I I don't even know what to call it but got it we have a all right Nikki Glaser everybody you're great thank you you're great សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.