KFC Radio - No Face Girl, Jeff Foxworthy, and Feits Looks Like a Tomato

Episode Date: August 4, 2020

Subscribe, rate, and leave a review! -The guys spent the day hiding from the interns at HQ -Top 5 Tuesday: Athlete Photos Outside of Sports -Voicemails Include celebrity chef in prison, mailtime hall of fame, tv characters personality, and lying your way through a career. (01:17:30) No Face Girl joins the show! We discuss Feits' calling out her pillows last year, doing porn as a side gig, whether or not she'll ever show her face, and much more. (01:47:00)Jeff Foxworthy joins the show! He tells us about some of the wild times on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, his love for hosting tv shows, and we get in a screaming match over the best candy bars and cereal. Subscribe for daily clips: https://www.youtube.com/user/KFCradioYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Their pillows look good back there. Oh, the pillows. I know. Thank you. We pretty much immediately replaced them after you call this out. I'm nervous. It is a little bit funny.

You know what? We'll talk about it right now. It's another edition of KFC radio. We got it. it it's a weird we got a weird situation right now fights is wearing a silly hat and his face looks like a tomato um but we have first of all i love this hat yeah what uh is it a bar it's ridiculous it's like a plastic it's a restaurant i used to work there when i was a kid is that like the uh the, if you will? No. No, I just found it in my parents' garage. It looks like a train conductor hat. Or a painter.

Yeah. I was wearing it this weekend in the pool and I was just like, I'm going to keep this hat. I like this hat. It's a ridiculous hat. I admit. I'm not like, yeah, this is a dope hat. It's a ridiculous hat, but I just like the way it looks on me. We have a new intern,

Jackie, who is helping out Nick and she is she's in, she's not here, she's not in the office, so we Skyped her in, Zoomed her in, and now she's just watching. And it's weird. It's incredibly nerve-wracking.

We do this show for many, many, many, many people, like hundreds of thousands of people watch and listen every week, but not on the spot. It's always just like, I talk in this mic, it's just you, and then it goes out there. Now we just have an audience of one. Yeah, and we usually get to edit all the times we say the N-word. And, like, this time, Jackie's just going to hear it all. I mean, I hope, like, she better be laughing. Fuck.

Shit. at all i mean i hope like like she better be laughing fuck shit so we also it's a it's a weird week because this is like the first week back if you will like we've been coming to the office but it's but now a lot more people are coming and it's also intern week so there's a bunch of young people running around i like how it's just become called intern week i is that i mean never heard it but i'm just here crediting you for it yeah apparently it's just become called intern week. I, is that a, I mean, never heard it, but I'm just here crediting you for it. Yeah. Apparently it's like they're here this week. And then I don't know if that like decides their fate or if then they, they work remotely,

but they're all here this week. It sounds like, you know, hell week or some shit rush week. I didn't know intern week. I don't know this week. And then afterwards, who knows?

I don't, I literally don't know. All I know is that there are like children running around and I feel like, uh, as you know, we're getting older and i'm starting to like when there used to be interns running around you know there was a time where it was like late 20s where it was like all right you're younger than me but we're like still in the same boat you know and i mean these are these are children they're children there's one guy with white hair, like dyed white hair. I mean, they're –

First of all, I haven't seen any of them because I came into the office today and I saw a bunch of people I didn't know working at – You ran away. And I ran away. And like – I was joking, but you did run away. No, I ran away. I'm on the mural and I was scared of them. But that's always – it's like when we say you know the scariest place

in the world is manhattan new york at like 3 p.m when the kids get out because they just walk out there and they act like they fucking run the joint so these kids are sitting at the horseshoe bar they're yucking it up they're laughing they were jumping on the rundown grabbing the mic talking that shit i'm like this is wild oh heaven and heavens to betsy yeah don't get me wrong i was like all right right, come on. Get on camera. Let's do this. We'll introduce you guys.

But they were all like, hey, how we doing? What's going on? I'm here. Let's rock and roll. I was like, oh, boy. They all got stupid hair. They're all very young. They're all very eager and excited.

Yeah, they've achieved their dream. They should be. And I'm scared of them. I ran away. I run away. I'm still too scared to talk to young people well here's the thing i used to be i used to be a nice person and yeah i would be like i would there were times where i would like definitely make sure that i talk to those interns and like say hi and introduce them and offer help and all that i don't because i don't

think they want to talk to me well that, that's kind of where I'm at. They have no interest in me. That's kind of where I'm at. So I'm not really going to talk to you, but it's not out of like, I think I'm better than you. It's like, what can I offer you? I don't know the latest apps. I don't know the latest trends.

I don't know any of it. So what value could I provide for you? I'm just like, I know you don't like me, so it's fine. I'm going to get it. I'm just like I know you don't like me so it's fine I'm gonna get it I'm not I'm not going to bother you with my presence it's like put it this way those kids are gonna go home today and they're gonna and they're gonna see their friends and family and they're gonna go

was Dave there did you meet big cat and that's it so anything beyond that is just like fights was kind of nice to me nobody is a fuck, but these are children who have, you know, they have life behind their eyes.

They're not dead anymore. They're not, they, they are, they are optimistic and, and they don't groan when they stand up out of chairs and they're happy to be here. And then there's just us who it's like physically,

mentally, and emotionally are just bags of shit i actually i had that conversation this weekend with my girlfriend where i she's a little bit younger than me she's not like i'm not dating a child but she's probably like i would hope like four years let's clarify that anyway i got up out of the god she doesn't listen i got out of the chair and i was just like making all this noise way too much noise because I'm a dramatic son of a bitch

like a bear waking up from hibernation and she just goes what is wrong with you and I was completely flabbergasted what do you mean even more importantly I don't even know if I recognize when I make those sounds I'm alone so often.

Oh, no, it just happens. That it's just like, yeah, what do you mean? It's like, oh, you just made like a, you just groaned like a bear coming out of hibernation. I'm like, oh, I did? I didn't even notice. Didn't register. Sorry. But then, okay, fine.

Yes, I did. What do you mean? You don't? Like, you just get up. She's like, no, it doesn't hurt at all. What do you mean it doesn't hurt at all? Your body can like fight gravity and it doesn't creak and crack and groan it can just beat the like my body goes head to head with gravity it loses every time and you somehow you're fine what just i i was like i'm gonna be happy

when it hurts for you just so you know like while you laugh at me I'm rooting for your demise. But this is the thing. She's in shape. She's a tiny, petite girl. You're a big bag of fucking shit. Come on, man. We all are. But you've got a lot more to overcome. I do.

She'll never creak and shit like that because she's like 100 pounds. I hope she does. I hope she ends up being miserable and then she can kind of get what I'm coming from. Jackie hasn't laughed once. She hasn't laughed one single time. So today's episode is brought to you by Owen's Mixers. Let's have a great episode.

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yet again. We also have Jeff Foxworthy on the show. A classic duo. Yeah, I mean, who doesn't think of Jeff Foxworthy in porn? I think he would enjoy it if he did. I don't think he had a problem with it. Nick was playing me a clip earlier. I didn't realize I was legitimately mean

to No Face Girl about her pillows. It was before she came on, so it was like an earlier clip. Yeah, you were like, what are the fuck are those grimy pillows? I can't call her a little piggy. Like, what the fuck, dude? That's mean. That's a lot. I was winking, I believe.

So the full clip, actually, you weren't the one that called out her pillows. It was the voicemail that was left called out her pillows. Oh, wow. And you were speaking like hypothetically, like if you have gross pillows, but in that one snippet. I sound like I'm calling her a little piggy and winking at her. Pretty bad. Well, she seemed to not care because she was fine. No.

I was embarrassed that when I went to show her my pillows, they actually looked good because my girlfriend had just been there. I almost said her name. Because my girlfriend had just been there and she like, you know, is also my mother. And looked after everything and cleaned it all up. Could you imagine having a girlfriend that doesn't like run your life? No. You know, it's like that's part of what they're there for, right? I would be lost.

That's why they exist, right? I would be. Honestly, God. Why do they date? I might be dead. Yeah. If I didn't have a girlfriend who took care of me, I might be dead. Oh, I think you'd be dead by now.

I think so, too. I genuinely think so. I think you would have. How do you think you would have died? I have a way. I have a method in mind. I probably would have slept on the street one night and been murdered. I think you would have had how do you think you would have died i have a way i have i have a method in mind uh i probably would have slept on the street one night and been murdered i think you would have had a drunk mishap yeah yeah i think you would have drank too much and

been like hit by a car or like fell out of a window yeah i think i think it's more likely that i would have been i would have slept on someone's block and then they would have like killed you and they would have killed me me for stepping on their territory. Entirely possible. And the fact that that's her job to stop that from happening is so unfair. Like, I just don't get why women date men. Why aren't they all lesbians?

Do they really like dick that much? Do you want to have sex with a dick? It can't be mine. Couldn't be me. Could not be me. It's almost impossible to think that a can't be mine and that couldn't be me could not be me it's almost impossible to think that that a girl would be like i will put up with all of that other stuff because i have mediocre sex that's the only reason right occasionally because i mean i

ain't providing much else jackie why do you like guys do you like guys okay didn't when nick did not tell me first of all that going to be like chiming in. He didn't know that either. We're putting you on the spot. Okay. What was the question? Why do you like guys? We're just talking about how guys are such a fucking project and we're like such a pain

in the ass. Girls have to do so much work to keep us alive. Why do you even date us? Why do you guys even put up with us? I mean, putting me on the spot first of all i mean i'm in college right now so i'm around very dumb frat guys yeah well so you basically you don't have a choice right like you're like you said you're surrounded by them and also maybe at this point you're kind of just being dumb and having fun too but later in life

when you're like like in late 20s and shit it's like she's choosing to date this man who is nothing but a burden yeah i'm at the age where i'm like attracted to the dumb crap boy oh so i think that in time i cannot i really hope to god that at 30 i'm not i'm not still attractive to them so when i've always been curious by that when when you are so so you're dating someone hooking up with them whatever and you you you know you're smart enough to be like there's something about like their stupidity that makes me want to be around them and you know you're obviously acknowledging it so you know it's stupid yet you can't fight it the other day i was at like this is gonna sound so collegey or whatever but i was at a party and some guy like literally like took a beer and like slammed it against his

head i was like that was so hot i'm going home with him tonight you gotta get better standards that is so funny that is that is very funny to see that. And I'll tell you what, you might not ever grow out of that. That might be just your personality type. It's like a personality thing that they're saying. Because my friends also have more, I guess, dignified taste. I mean, if girls ever grew out of that, I would die alone. That's the thing is, I think that here's, it's a chicken or the egg though. Do guys continue to just sit there metaphorically smashing cans against their head die alone that's the thing is i think that here's it's a chicken or the egg though do do guys

continue to just sit there metaphorically smashing cans against their head because they know that there's a girl who's attracted to it or are the girls attracted to it because they're like well he ain't changing so i gotta i guess i just gotta settle for this i'll put the bar down yeah have you ever considered just not liking men at all i really wish i didn't yeah honestly that would make my life so much easier right I've thought the same thing but I've heavily considered but

just not for you right I know it's like I wish I mean the flip side is like the headache that women can bring I would love to be gay just hang out with a buddy of mine what's up dude you wanna blow you wanna blow each other and go to sleep? Sounds good. Wish.

I fucking wish. I have a bad gag reflex. You would give terrible head. You would give such bad head. I can't put my pinky in my mouth. I'm getting nauseous thinking about putting my pinky in my mouth. The gag reflex would be I mean, just terrible.

You'd give such bad head. Look, he's got a beard from pretending. I can't believe I'm witnessing fights actually. Yeah, there it is. It's your lucky day. Unbelievable. I also want to point out before, because I don't know that you guys could hear me. 20-year-olds love you guys.

20-year-olds? Yeah. Like, when he's telling people like kfc radio i'm interning for them everyone's like oh my god kfc invites that makes no sense because i i have always attempted to at least like age appropriately and like kind of with my crowd oh my god let's talk about like kids and marriage and all that shit more than i do like partying because that's what i do now like what could a 20 year old like about me what do they like about me i mean there's nothing appealing about me to someone under the age of like 29 it's like it's like

they like you the same way they like going to a zoo oh yeah it's like that's something i've never seen before like when you watch national geographic and and you see like a like a deer get eaten and you're like, well, that wasn't enjoyable, but like, uh, you know, it was intriguing. It was interesting. That's me. I'm watching a baby deer get eaten. God damn it. Well, I'm happy that it's good for you. It's not, it's not good for us. I'm not a lot of Casey. There's a lot of, um, guys who wanted to know your shoe. Like they all wanted your insights on your favorite shoes and

everything like that okay well i can i can provide that that you got yeah that's about it that's that's the only thing i could relate to i actually went to kevin's apartment fairly recently and walked by his room and it was a stunning wall of shoes it's stupid it's too many shoes well especially now like i quarantine after quarantine I am like, quote unquote, getting dressed, because I almost walk out of the house in sweatpants every time now. And I was like, I just don't. I'm just going to put on these fear of God high tops. I mean, come on.

That's why I wear these every day, basically. Yeah, just the low top. Just slide them on. Anyway, No Face Girl, Jeff Foxworthy. Jeff Foxworthy is on the show. And we start arguing about candy bars and cereals. And it just goes to show that whether you're 20 and in college, or you're like 60 and a fucking billionaire from comedy, guys are just going to argue about.

Is Jeff Foxworthy worth $300 million? I would, that would be my number. I would say between 250 and three. I mean, King's Blue Collar Comedy Tour alone has to be... Oh, he's a broke boy. What's he at? 100 million? Jeff, step your game up, dude. You know what that means?

He's like a bad business manager because he should have hundreds of millions by now. TV shows, comedy tours, the whole nine. So he's got a new show coming out because apparently he can't even make rent. So we'll have Jeff and No Face Girl on the show. Of course, we'll get into our voicemails. But first, we're going to do a little top five. We're going to do a little top five. So last week was a hit.

We did top five favorite GIFs of all time. And I actually thought I was pleasantly surprised with the response because it wasn't people just being like, how could you forget this and how could you forget that? Because it's fucking impossible to narrow down to your favorite five memes. So everybody chimed in with that. I think this week I wanted to do top five sports pictures, not meaning like legendary on the field or on the court pictures,

but just pictures of, huh? Or on the ice, on the ice. Yeah. Nobody cares about hockey. Nobody cares about hockey. Um,

but like legendary pictures of athletes off the field and, and, uh, you know, interesting situations and whatnot. So top five sports pictures is brought to you by Blue Nile. Blue Nile is where Stephen Shea went to get that engagement ring. That's where anybody can go to get a quality diamond,

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The dumbest, I don't know what we were thinking or what we did, but allowing this engagement ring culture to spiral out of control is one of the, for the most part, men have pretty much dominated the game. Yeah. But major oversight with being like, yeah,

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ships for free and arrives in discreet packaging that won't give away what's inside it sounds like we're ordering a fucking dildo here it sounds like a porno mag it's just a diamond but now i get it you can't have your girl finding it so uh don't worry about her. The secret being blown. Just go to BlueNile.com, promo code KFC, and get that $50 off. Top sports pictures. You can go first. Okay. I love this picture.

I hate this person. I love this picture. Pat Burrell in his gimp outfit with the girls he's partying with is an absolute i want to i want an oil painting of it because there's the shot of him he's got the pulp fiction mask on he's got like the full leather like lingerie on and then he's sitting on the floor indian style with these girls just like surrounding him in the background while he's just by the pool. And I'm just thinking to myself, what the fuck were you guys doing?

This party got out of control. Pat the Bat, known to be a wild man, but he was having a pool party, and his big party trick, Jackie would have loved it. He was smashing cans against his head, and then he comes out, look at me, I'm dressed like a gimp. And he just brought the house down.

That's a great party trick to have because no one expects the gimp costume. Well, also, and nobody else is doing it. No one's going to be like, bro, Timmy did that last week. Darren Dalton did that back in the 90s, dude. Pat the Bat has the gimp game on lock, and it always puts asses in the seats. I actually can see that. Like, like Jackie getting very involved with it. I can see people like really being into that.

I mean, it's so over the top and it's, it's look at that. Look at it. Indian style. Yeah. I mean, it's,

it's, it's definitely unique. It's definitely, you're not going to hear anybody be like, you know, well, that was, that was lame. Whatever. It's going to, it's it's definitely unique it's definitely you're not gonna hear anybody be like you know well that was that was lame whatever it's gonna it's gonna it's gonna get the crowd going it's provocative what what year was that 94 because that is such a 90s outfit on that girl on the left it can't be that it's got to be like early 2000s you think that but i know what you mean that that like the the blonde hair the the low low low, low shorts. Yeah, no, I mean, Pat was getting it done.

Pat the Bat is a Mets killer. I absolutely hate him, but would I party with him? Actually, I don't even know if I'd party with him. That kind of scares me. I don't need gimps running around my party, you know? But, Pat, number one pick. Okay, my number one, Tom Brady with the goat. Such an outrageous picture. There's an episode of 30 Rock

where Jenna is telling Tina Fey they're about to have a cover of a magazine and she's like, whenever they give you a prop, don't touch it because it's going to look ridiculous. Just take your modeling pictures and that's it.

Got it. Don't get tricked into doing it. Yeah. And Tina ends up having it and she ends up really embracing it and she looks ridiculous tricked into doing it yeah and it's like there and tina ends up having it and she ends up like really embracing it and she's got like she looks like ridiculous in all the pictures yeah i mean they gave him a goat and he just cuddles he just hugs it what's the idea that like it's an insane picture was there uh like this is a double entendre like he's the goat or was this somebody just being like... No, this is early in his career.

Yeah, because he's got the bad haircut. He actually looks like he doesn't know what the fuck's going on. He looks like he's like, why am I hugging this GOAT? I mean, he's probably got two Super Bowls at this point early in his career, you know? But I would guess he's probably one, two, maybe three. But I don't think he was GOAT discussion yet. Yeah, and he's just hugging one. Hugging a fucking GO fucking goat this reminds me

reminds me i'm gonna put it up there i don't want to take uh any other pictures off the board so if i do you can stop me but i put this there's three there's three photo shoots that i think of when i think of stuff like this i think of tom brady with the goat i think of kobe bryant in like the the white like pilgrim outfit what is that i don't know what was that that looks like the white like pilgrim outfit. What is that? I don't know. What was that? That looks like a hot like that looks like something from a scary movie like that's like a cult or something like that. You know? And he's like dead ass serious.

Looks like he has makeup on his face too. I mean rest in peace Kobe. That was a bad idea. The Kobe picture speaking of Kobe. It's not on my list but the Kobe picture with the trophy when he's in the jacket and he's just kind of like sad in the bathroom. That's a great picture. That's a cocky one. That's up there. That's like when he's in the jacket and he's just kind of like sad in the bathroom. That's a great picture. That's a cocky one.

That's up there. That's like when there's the MJ one where he's like hugging it or laying on the floor. He has his with the cocky. But Colby's like he's not even happy. Yeah, he's just like, you know, I got to go to more of these. And also the third one I put in there is A-Rod kiss in the mirror. Yes. Three times that athletes were like they're all not sports photo shoots.

They're all GQ or whatever. And it was just like, this is not. No, this is not right. My number two pick. Derek Jeter passed out with those hoes. The one girl's from like the one girl's from Flavor of Love. Really? Yes.

Which is why I love this picture because i like to theorize what happened that the blonde girl so i don't want to be rude that girl is swallowing the nozzle of that great throat in that shit like she like i don't know if she's ever drank from a bottle before she's like i have to hit my esophagus with this that's the thing about it and i want to be rude here but but those girls are not very pretty. For Jeter, you know what I mean? I like to pretend that he was drugged. Because I don't see a scenario in which Derek Jeter, of all people, is hanging out with the girl from Flavor of Love.

Which one's Flavor of Love? The left, the blonde. So she went on to have her own VH1 show or something. Her belly button is exceptionally high why is her belly button in the middle of her stomach I'll tell you what I think her belly button is fine I think she just doesn't have a clit

I think her clit is just non-existent where is that girl's vagina how much lower does it go that's too high I've never thought this about a girl ever in my entire life that belly button is too high. I've never thought this about a girl ever in my entire life. That belly button is too high. A bad belly button can throw the whole thing off. I honestly don't think I've ever seen a bad belly button, but I have now.

You know what would be so weird? A girl without a belly button. Let's say you go home with a girl, take her shirt off. She doesn't have a belly button. What do you do? I mean, you probably just don't tell me about it. Honestly, I'm lost at that. I like to do like the

step step work your way down it's like a it's like a benchmark it's like uh you know it's like all right 30 paces out i make a left and you know what i mean i'll kiss a nipple here i'll kiss a nipple there i'll kiss your stomach all the way down if i just just never pass the belly button i wouldn't know what to do i'd be completely lost i also would assume that you're like that means you're an alien or something like that. It's like, well, you didn't have an umbilical cord or some shit. I don't know what's going on here. That's a high belly button. Jeter does not fuck with girls with

weird belly button placement. So I think that he got roofied. And I just don't for a man who's notoriously secretive and quiet and only rolls with tens, how he hangs out with like a flavor of love girl and he's just dead passed out by the pool i i i could do a whole 30 for 30 on this picture what a what a weird

concept that is too we're just like like derrick jeer was hanging out with reality tv stars that's how big it was like flavor love was a monster of a show but i yeah people wanted to date a drunk older man who wore clocks i saw a tweet that said what it was like uh you know like the year is 20 2100 or whatever it's like gather around children i'll tell you about the time that flavor flave was once the prize to be won that was what other people were competing against each other to have man that was great remember new york uh i love new york the girl i never watched any of the shows but you've seen new york though because she was such a fucking savage and that girl hoops hoops was actually really pretty i think she ended up fucking shack at one point but um but yeah i mean tequila tequila i've

watched her porn before yeah she fought christ I watched. I watched several times. I'll go back to the bank on that one. I checked it out. Your pick. Number two. Tom Brady on the slide. You're just going to go on Tom Brady, aren't you? Oh, yes I am. Tom Brady on the slide.

Oh, classic. See, that's funny because I remember liking that because it made fun of him. Because that's when he also had the weird long mullet hair. But now he's won so much that it comes back around like that's cool. It's so ridiculous. He's not even sliding down a slide. He's just sliding down cement. Yeah, wait, is there water?

What is going on there that i remember that being my like go-to blog picture changing there's so many tom brady pictures i'm changing i remember thinking i don't know i don't know how i'm gonna change okay i'm just gonna mention it then tom brady this this picture reminded me of brady this could be number one brady mid toflate gate suspension. He went on vacation to Italy, and he's just grabbing Gisele's ass as they lay there. And then he came back and won the Super Bowl, Kevin. John, I know.

I fucking know. I remember thinking we might get a— Remember when Bieber went on vacation and his dick was out? Yeah, yeah. And he was in the middle of some turmoil, too. I remember thinking, I was like, Tom Brady's about to drop a sex tape on us. Tom Brady's about to fuck this girl in Italy and put it on camera and put it out for the world to see. That was in the middle of his suspension where it should have been like, oh my God, I've been suspended.

And instead it was just like. He's like, I'm going to Italy with my supermodel wife. Vacation. I'll win the Super Bowl when I come back. Yeah. I'll see you week five. We're good. Yeah, there he is squeezing that tush. Good for Tommy. Suck her. God damn back. Yeah, I'll see you week five. We're good. Yeah, there he is, squeezing that tush.

Good for Tommy. Such a goddamn legend! Oh, go Bucs! Alright, my number three pick. I'm gonna go over the NBA for a moment. Tracy McGrady's pants. Tracy McGrady's... In studio, like at the draft or some shit.

Tracy McGrady's in studio at the draft or some shit. Tracy McGrady's unbelievably baggy pants. Look at those things. That looks like a little kid playing dress up in his dad's closet. Tracy McGrady's probably got a size 14, 15 foot maybe. You can barely see him. It's covering his toes. His feet don't even exist. That legit looks like kids who, like, you stand on my shoulders and we'll put our clothes on and we'll look like an adult.

Those don't look like pant legs. They look like individual burlap sacks on top of legs. They're more ridiculous than I remember, in fact. They're great. And they go hand-in-hand hand with like mj's pants and uh anytime that like somebody has baggy pants everyone was like oh we must go shopping with t-mac it happened recently with somebody else it was like anytime there's baggy pants you immediately default to tracy mcgrady who by the way is maybe the most underrated player in basketball history he like never gets mentioned he was so awesome he is like he is like what the

nba became like he was the dude who was like i'm gonna be like a point forward like i'm a i'm a wingman but i'm fucking huge and now the league is filled with them and it just like he was ahead of his time i'm sure he would have like thrived i'm sure people just built around him the right way now uh hall of fucking famer that nobody gives any love i'm actually gonna figure out what size shoe he's because I feel like I insulted him by saying he's 15. I bet he's bigger than that. He's probably like 18.

And his pants cover his toes. And you know what the thing is? You know he just thought he looked so awesome, like so fly. And at the time, he probably did. I don't even know if back then it made waves. But T-Max pants go down in history. Tom Brady combine. That is an all-time picture.

Now, that is a great one. That is because... That's the greatest NFL player to ever play the sport. You know what is not talked about enough? His arms are so long. He's one of those guys who could tie his shoe without bending over. That is the greatest NFL player to ever live. He looks like me in my combine picture.

I was going to say, I think I am in better shape than Tom Brady was. Yeah, definitely. It's not definite. You're definitely stronger. But it's arguable that I'm in better shape than Tom Brady was at the combine. Like, I don't even blame the fact that he was a fucking 199th. Like who would have drafted him? You know, it makes no sense.

When I did the combine, we took the quick, when I did the first combine, I guarantee you Portnoy did this. It says that I'm five 10 on the combine. Really? And I'm just like, I'm just fucking not. I'm just not even 5'10. And I guarantee. You're three inches taller than that.

Right. And I remember being measured for it. And I guarantee Dave was like, no, no, no, no. Change that. Because there's just no reason for it to say 5'10 when I'm not. You guys did a shirtless picture? Yeah. It was bad.

Really? I don't remember that. We all stood like in Dave's apartment just up against the white wall. And muffin tops and man tits and the whole nine. There it is. There it is. See, it just says 5'10". Yo, first of all, you're in Tom Brady shape. Yes.

That's Tom Brady. Yes, except look how much longer his arms were than me. But yeah, that is what Tom Brady looks like. And that was me at the combine. That is fucking. And he went on to be the greatest player ever. And I ran a three cone drill in 45 seconds. Like, look at that.

You actually ran the three cone drill better than I did. Yeah. I mean, that's Tom. I'm looking at Tom Brady. Yeah. Yeah. It's nuts. It is absolutely nuts.

Isn't that funny? That picture, like you didn't even know it existed. I feel like that's one of those things that would go down in Barstool lore. You know what I mean? I can't believe you listed 5'10". It's such bullshit. You don't hit 5'90", do you? The whole thing was wrong.

The whole thing was wrong. At that point, I was for sure 6'180", and they listed me at 5'10", 190, just to be a bunch of cocksuckers. The only reason they did that had to be a bunch of cocksuckers. Like, the only reason they did that had to be to sewer me, right? Like, as if the video didn't do that enough. As if you guys couldn't help your brother out a little bit. Jesus. But yeah, I mean, I look

exactly like Tom Brady did on draft day. Combine day. And, like, of course he went 199th. Like, why would anybody draft him? I'm surprised he went 199th. Right. Surprised he got drafted at all. How'd he make it to college? How'd he even play high school football looking like that? Nuts.

Okay. Dennis Rodman in the wedding dress. Dennis Rodman is, I mean, you guys know my fascination with him, and when you think of the worm, as far as off the field and shit off the court no greater picture i mean look i mean it's so crazy it's the most like

manic crazy like he was having an episode and instead we're just like ah wacky dennis it was before mental health was a thing exactly and it was just like well he's being funny it's like oh it's a cry for help it's a miracle the man never killed himself. It is crazy that mental health just wasn't a thing for thousands of years. Let's pause real quick on the top five to discuss that real quick. I had a bleak, tough guy thought, but I think it might kind of be true. Do you think – You're going to turn Jackie on for a second.

Do you think that – i think that maybe worrying about about mental health is a luxury oh for sure right yeah but it's not it shouldn't be no but that's the problem right that's like i mean i'm thinking if you were like bro if you're poor you're homeless and in the gutter you're like i have to fucking find my next meal. I'll worry about my anxiety attacks later. I'll worry about my episodes or my depressing episodes because I just have to make sure I get food in my stomach or I'm going to die. But you can't treat it that way because you'll end up fucking. If I can be more of a dickhead, it's almost harder when you don't have things to be sad about because you're like fighting with your brain right it's like i don't get why just be happy like we're sad today

yeah why dude like i'm doing well i'm good like i said we're fucking sad it doesn't make any sense and it just makes it worse having no problems the, having an easy life, god damn it, why does it have to be so easy? Dude, all we have to do today, you can sit in your studio and watch the Rangers vs. Canes, all we have to do is record an hour podcast

and just like, too bad, your life sucks, deal with it. It doesn't though. Yes, it does. I've always thought, okay, let's say you're depressed right now because you are.

And we're all depressed, right? We're having like episodes and a fucking meteor hits or like the zombie apocalypse starts or something like that. Like we kick into like survival mode and it's like we got to like you're not going to think about your feelings anymore. You know? Like even like when coronavirus hit, like I feel like there were, you know, when everything locked down, it was like, you're not going to therapy.

You're not able to go to your clinic or whatever. And it was just like, all right, well, we got to do what we got to do. We got to just like live. You know what I mean? We got to figure out a way. But it's like- And then after, I did that.

I locked in three months. I was like, I got three months. I'll put it on the board. And that was it. Yeah, that was the breaking point. Three months in day one, it was, oh, this is the worst ever. I was like, I got three months. I'll put it on the board. And that was it. Yeah, that was the breaking point. Three months and day one, it was oh, this is the worst ever. I'm having a complete breakdown. It's so true.

Yeah, that was my little detour. What do you want? Can you bring me my computer, you dumb bitch? Is that my computer? Thank you, because I actually need it for my next picture. That's Casey we're talking about. That's fine. Okay.

You're up. Number four. Tom Brady and Giselle at the Met Gala. This is a picture. I mean. Wait, hang on. There's multiple. You're talking about the blue jacket.

I mean, come on. Of course you're talking about the jacket. The blue jacket is one of those things that, like, I wouldn't even. I love that jacket. I wouldn't even – I love that jacket. I wouldn't even dare wear it because there's no way. There's no way. Look at that. Do you know how hard it is to stand next to a supermodel

and be the center of attention? I don't even – I couldn't even tell you what Gisele was wearing in that picture, but I knew Tom Brady was wearing a blue jacket. Yeah, she's got a great chest. She looks hot as hell. Not as hot as him. He looks awesome. He's – oh, my God.

You know what? It's not even him. It's just a jacket. I would suck his dick. Well, I know that. Like, better than I suck my pinky. I'll gag on that. I would fucking find a way to suck that dick. You got a problem, bitch? Yeah, listen. And look at the other

one. Click on the other one. It's like crushed velvet, the other one, right? Yeah, I mean. Like the maroon. The maroon velvet. Yeah. Oh, man. Come on. You know what? I like the blue because I'm just partial.

Blue's my favorite color. But the maroon velvet might be the one. It should be illegal how hot these two are. It is unfair. Is he really that hot? Oh. Oh, he's that hot. Come on.

Yeah. What are you talking about? He definitely goes through times right now, like in picture he has a bad haircut terrible haircut yeah his hair is terrible haircut i mean what weird big forehead like he's not i mean he's a good looking guy don't get me wrong but i'm just saying if he wasn't if he wasn't a you know his aura is also if he was an insurance salesman he is an exceptionally hot person see that's what i disagree not exceptionally hot he's a good looking guy wrong but he's not exceptionally every meeting and they'd be like i'll buy it and he's like i haven't given you the pitch yet and they're like don't

care he's a tall strong white man i just want your fucking phone number that's what yeah that's what adult men would be like just so i can call you dude i mean i can have in the rolodex he's got the like an all-time snl skit when he's sexually harassing everybody. But I think that's because of who he is. I don't think so. Jackie, is Tom Brady just objectively hot or is it part of his aura? I mean, objectively hot. Exceptionally good-looking was John's phrase.

Are you going with that? Wait, what? The term John used was exceptionally good-looking. phrase. Are you going with that? Wait, what? The term John used was exceptionally good looking. Okay. Are you going with that? Fuck off. But I actually had some friends who don't think that he's hot. So then he's not exceptionally good looking.

It's up for debate. They shouldn't be your friends anymore, Jackie. Yeah. There is one ridiculous picture, and we will pull it up right now. It is Brady with a faux hawk is an insane picture no he's done some hair shit over the years that i have to imagine was giselle like asking him to do so and it is it does not go well for him he's i think he's in saratoga at this in this picture i forget exactly where he is oh he looks awful and this is the one i

was pointing for the hair plugs by the way i mean I mean, Tom Brady looks like a European DJ. That one in the bottom right, Nick, you can see his pants, too. And yet he's still grabbing a handful of supermodel ass, you know? He looks like Pinocchio, like come to life with a fucking mohawk. She dressed him for that one. I respect that, though. I remember when we had last year, we had the

highlights of One Thing I Learned and it was a highlight clip and Chaps replied, you look like eight different people this year. And he was 100% spot on. I look completely different every video we filmed. Brady's got so many different looks.

Well, you look... You are the king of doppelgangers. But we have found the number one. It's a tomato. It's a tomato. There was a picture over the weekend of a... What is the picture? Somebody put a hat on a tomato?

Yeah, I guess. Somebody dressed up a tomato, because it looks like it has a mouth, a nose, and two eyes. And it went viral because I think a lot of people were saying it looked like Larry Bird. But then it got into Barstool Twitter. And my, oh, my. I was getting texts about this, not tweets. People were texting me like, have you seen the Feidelberg tomato? It looks so much like you.

It has the same hat as you. It has the same nose as you it has the same nose as you it has like an indifferent smile of just like i guess i'm alive look at that thing that's fucking final burg two little eyes the fucking frown the big nose and the stupid hat it's final burg we photoshopped it onto your high school pictures we photoshopped it into your heirlooms. And the fact that it's a tomato, I mean, it's perfect. It's an all-time Fidelberg doppelganger, and it's not even a living thing. It's a fucking, I think a fruit. I think a tomato's a fruit, right? Yeah, I think it's one of those stupid things where you just see it.

Shut up, it's a vegetable. It's a vegetable. Fuck you. My last pick, got to have my man J.R. Smith involved. Team Swish. The picture with Tahiri's giant ass. Whoa, I don't know this picture. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. He tweeted this one out. Can you see her, asshole? No, she's wearing a thong in it, but they blurred it for, like, I think it's on Deadspin or whatever. Media Takeout has it. J.R. Smith, dude, Tahiri. Nick, T-A-H-I-R-Y.

I was going to let him spell that. And he was, I think it was when he was suspended for a game. And he took a picture of himself watching the game with her gigantic ass. I honestly don't think I've ever seen this picture. It's a great picture. And he said, I can't

watch the game like this. Damn you, Tahiri. And then I think there was drama because I believe Joe Budden was like dating her or was with her or something. So, but I think it was like J I believe Joe Budden was like dating her or was with her or something. So but I think it was like J.R. Smith should have been at the game and was like suspended or something was going on. He was embroiled in some sort of turmoil and then took a picture of this enormous ass. So, I mean, Team Switch has had a lot of moments to go down in history. But to me, the Tahiri ass is is number one.

So that would be that's my five right there. I i'll be straight up i'm kind of horny let me see if i can find some more tahiri i mean she has she has one of those asses that's just like white guys can't even fuck with that you know we wouldn't even know what to do with that thing uh and the blur out really does make it it's just a thong but it makes it look like they were like, well, you can see her asshole. All right. I think you have one more pick? Yeah. My last pick, Brady with the Bieber hair.

Bieber hair? Yeah. Brady courtside Bieber hair is, I mean, Don Brady had young Justin Bieber's haircut. Oh! Dude, he has had some good haircuts. He's had way more bad haircuts than good haircuts. It is. This one's fake, though, right?

This is exaggerated, right? No, that's his hair. No, no, this one, though. Like, covering his eyes is not real, right? No. Oh, yes, that's him. But no, that one up on the screen, that's Tom Brady had the Bieber. Like, he looked like he was a fucking quarterback at Hoover High. Yeah.

Like an Alabama high school kid. Someone Jackie would fucking love. I mean, this is, this has got to be like the Cali bro in him, right? Like he would actually play now, I think. If you got this hair on TikTok right now, you got a million followers. It was just the timing of it all.

And Bieber running around looking like a lesbian. Tom fucking Brady. It's, there are many there are many uh things here saying that it's Tom it's Justin Bieber's older mentally disabled brother and if I could do I'm gonna throw in a Tom Brady in game because it's probably around that time, it's probably 07. Tom Brady, if I was allowed to have game pictures, 07. Brady versus the Dolphins. I'm going to read you a stat line,

and I want you to guess what time in the game it is. Like, he had this many touchdowns and yards through this point. How much time is left in the game? Okay. 11 for 11, 220 yards, four touchdowns. It's probably like the first quarter, right? It's like the first drive.

There are seven minutes left in the second quarter. It is an insane picture. Like, it's just him and Randy Moss sitting on the bench. 11 for 11, 220 yards, four touchdowns, pass the rating 158.3. Seven minutes left in the second quarter. It's unbelievable they didn't win a Super Bowl. I know.

It's like it is absolutely staggering. It's actually one of the most impressive things of his career is that that's not thought of as like, oh, boy, you really dropped the ball. Because he did, but then he won three more Super Bowls. If he stopped there, I think that would have been, you know, even, you know, he won a bunch, but it would have been, like, you know, the one. And, like, the Eli talk actually would be a thing. You know what I mean? Like, Eli, he always had your number, and he just went on to.

Yeah, and he makes jokes about Eli. He had a whole second, he had a whole second he had a whole other hall of fame career he tom brady had two hall of fame yeah and that's maybe more than that yeah yeah he like he had that tweet before the match think about aaron rogers aaron rogers like he had like a 10-year run and won super bowl and like he's an absolute no doubt hall of fame tom brady has done that at least twice like he's like around for 20 years and he's an absolute no doubt Hall of Famer. Tom Brady has done that at least twice. He's around for 20 years and he has many more Super Bowls. And when he wasn't winning

Super Bowls? He was winning MVPs and shit. That's when he was putting up his crazy numbers. Yeah, that stretched from 07 to that next Super Bowl. I think 06 to 11. I remember being like, we're pushing seven years without a Super Bowl, guys.

Like, it's over. And then it resumed and went to dynasty status again. I hope he does it again. I hope he does too. I hope he does it again. Fuck yeah. Let's do it, Tommy. God, that'd be great.

That would be great. That video the Bucks put out is like. I didn't see it. It's just him looking great. And it's him doing like, the way he's talking to players. It's just like, oh, and it's him doing, like, the way he's talking to players. It's just like, oh, that's Tom Brady. Like, the way he's like, all right, here we go. Look, you're going to be motion here, and it's just like the way.

Oh, he's going to do the damn thing. Don't worry about that. I'm going to pull it up real quick because it is. You know what? We're good. We're good. I don't need to see that. Fuck off.

Voicemails are brought to you by Stitch Fix. Here it is. If you are. Look at this. Just watch this video. I you by Stitch Fix. Here it is. If you are... Just watch this video. I mean, I still hate him, though. Yeah. It looks so weird seeing... I'll never get over seeing him in a different uniform, different

logo. Nope. How sad are you that he's not on your team anymore? Not at all. Why not? Because he still exists. As long as he exists, I'm happy. That really is just a sign, though, that it's Brady. How awesome must it be if you were on the Bucs

and then all of a sudden you got Tom Brady? Yeah. Turn, turn, turn, turn. you got Tom Brady turn turn turn that voice he's so just like like white dad you know what I mean he enunciates and pronounces everything properly if I get four I ain't throwing it ever that's just fucking

could you imagine if you were on the box you were on the box and you spent your time arguing and defending Jameis Winston? Like, nah, nah, man, seriously. Like, you've seen, like, he's had some great flashes. And then someone's like, dude, he threw 30 picks. Yeah, but not all of them were his fault. Like, we took some steps forward.

We did some things. And then it's like, oh, wait, never mind. That guy sucked. We got Tom fucking Brady. Unreal. Voicemails today are brought to you by stitch fix if you are a uh like a dumb frat bro that jackie likes that doesn't know how to dress and you want someone else to take care of it for you stitch fix is the way to go uh they have a personal stylist that is a professional uh basically like a you know professional dresser they're going to dress you up the right way whether you want a casual look a sophisticated

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You don't have to worry about not knowing the trends or styles. You don't have to know about what matches what I never got that. What? Maybe it's because we're, I mean you more so than me, but if you have like any sort of, uh, fashion sense at all,

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So go to stitchfix.com slash KFC. Get an extra 25% off when you keep everything in your first box. I got no fucking voice because I've been screaming about you and assessment assault day. I'm done though. You're done. I opted out of the Mets. I opted out of the season. Okay, that's smart.

I counseled them on Friday and I opted out. And that means, you know, everyone else. Does that mean like you're not going to watch? I think so. Yeah? I think so. I think I will watch when I want to watch. Okay. Because the other day I didn't want to watch.

And I was like, I want to just like put on Netflix. I want to watch a movie. I want to. I started The Great Depression. I want to finish that. And I started Umbrella Academy. I want to dig into that. And I was like, I got to watch The Mets. Now I don't that. And I started Umbrella Academy. I wanted to dig into that. And I was like, I gotta watch the Mets.

Now I don't have to because I opted out. That's nice. Did you enjoy the Great Depression? I'm like halfway through and I did. I know a lot of it because I've heard you talk about it. But he's awesome. I mean, the Waterfountain stuff is incredible.

So good. And the Sprite talk. He is. When I was growing up, a man couldn't order a Sprite. I think right now we're at a point in history, because mental health is becoming a thing, but it's not yet a totally accepted thing, we're in the perfect sweet spot for uh comedy for mental health comedy because in like five years or whatever amount of time it won't it won't be quirky and funny

because it'll just be like on the table you know what i mean it'd be like doing jokes about like physical health where it's like yeah we just know if you're fat you got to get skinny whatever you know so right now if you are aware of mental health but suffer from some of its downsides and funny enough to joke about it, it's perfect. Gary Goldman, crying. When his mom is like, no signs, none at all. He was a happy boy. And then he pulls out the book that's the lonely Christmas tree that was born from tears. It grew through its own tears.

That's where I feel bad. Our parents are not even a small sense of understanding allegory. I feel bad for our parents. They just were not from a time where like that's what actually got me thinking about it. I remember watching Gary Goldman's mom and I'm like, you know, my parents and their parents were like, yeah, I know you're sad, but like your father's off at World War II. So we got other shit to worry about. But the tree that grew through tears.

Not a single sign he was depressed. But I will watch when I need to watch, when I want to watch. But if Cespedes and Lorenzo Cain and David Price and all these guys can opt out, so can I. So can I. Cespedes opted out because he wasn't going to make his money. I'm not making any money. I never make any money. So I've opted out and I will maybe come back. I mean this sincerely.

If Steve Cohen doesn't buy the Mets, I don't know if I'll come back. Really? And I really, I'm not, I really don't think, something happened to me during quarantine where like when sports came back I wasn't really excited and I'm watching it now

and when they won maybe it all hinges upon them winning so if Steve Cohen comes and the Mets are an awesome product I'll be back in but I think gone are my days of seriously dedicating myself to a piece of shit product which is crazy to say but it shouldn't have piece of shit product, which is crazy to say, but it shouldn't have to be said.

Yeah, it's not crazy to say. It shouldn't be crazy to say, but it kind of is. It's like, oh my god, you're not going to be a fan? Of course I'm not going to be a fan! Have you seen what I'm a fan of? Why would I continue to do this? I'm watching these games, and I'm like, I don't want to do this, and I'm by myself. I'm like,

so I'm just not going to and it's such a novel thought it's crazy so i've opted out indefinitely maybe you'll see me back maybe you won't voicemails let's go nick kfc fights super nick uh hypothetical for you kfc you're gonna hate it right off the bat oh great you're going to prison nope five years it's something you know not so bad but you get to take one celebrity chef with you who cooks up your food that you find in prison ramen gross crackers peanut butter whatever they got who you bringing viva i'm gonna go fictional and go with Frank Reynolds

and Charlie Kelly as a celebrity chef because if you're like he said you know you're in prison you're not gonna get to

whip up filet mignon and fucking lobster you gotta work with what you got and those guys are the kings of you know

ramen and fucking crackers what is the sandwich they make the Charlie what's it the Charlie? What's it called? I'm gonna figure it out. That's what I mean. It's like, you know, these are all

rum ham and milk steak and stuff like that. That's what you're gonna be getting in prison. You got a little hot plate that you fucking bartered at the commissary for. You know, you suck somebody's dick for a couple fucking... It's called a grilled Charlie. A grilled charlie a grilled charlie is a sandwich masterpiece that charlie's created uh it consists of two slices

of bread cheese peanut butter on the outside chocolate syrup and peanut butter on the inside that's a prison meal right there that i mean if you're asking me i mean i don't even quite understand the question do you mean like literally like, literally celebrity chef? Like, am I picking between, like, Giada and Bobby Flay? Is that what we're saying? I'm going to take Anthony Bourdain. Well, he's dead. Yeah, but. Okay.

But, yeah, that makes sense. I mean, like, Anthony Bourdain's, like, been to prison, I think. Yeah, yeah, he probably has done this before. Yeah. He probably has a show about, like, prison food. Yeah. He was that dude, huh? I know it became a little, like, cliche almost almost after his death, as it is with everybody.

Everybody gets canonized after they die. But he really was like an interesting fucking cat. He is. I believe he was a heroin addict. Yeah, he has done it all, seen it all, came through the fire. What I like, too, is he was a heroin addict who then just kept drinking. Usually when people go sober, they go sober. It's like, I got one issue, and the rest is good to go.

No, no, no, I'm going to keep drinking alcohol, but I'll just stop the heroin. This stuff is fine. It's the fucking Iron Horse that we can't do. All right, so I got Charlie Kelly, you got Anthony Bourdain. I watched Gordon Ramsay, right? Yeah. Yeah, so he's trying to be the new Bourdain, I think.

There's a show uh i don't know what it was on but i was on my parents house when i was over there the other day and he was in uh like cambodia i think one of these one of those countries and uh trying to cook the local fair or whatever and these motherfuckers had this system they had like a long bamboo stick really fucking long with a bucket on the end they put it it up in the treetops. They would shake it in these like, not quite hives, but just like these branches that had ants in them. And the ants would fall down.

And all of it was to like squeeze. It basically was like a lemon. It was basically like a lemon squeeze. These, these ants like carried some citrus shit in them. And so they would squeeze the ant. And as he's hitting it, these, These ants carried some citrus shit in them. So they would squeeze the ant? Yeah, and as he's hitting it, there's ants raining down on Gordon Ramsay.

I think they were biting him and shit, and he's like, ah, ah, ah, ah. And they had local guys with them who were totally unfazed by it. But this long fucking bamboo, they're sweating. It's hard work. They get a fucking jar, a bucket of ants, all to get like a spritz of lemon. I was like, I would just not have the lemon on my fucking food. I cannot imagine fighting in the jungle for like every, I mean, these people, you know, everything they ate, they caught, they found they, they, you know, extracted or whatever. And I'm just sitting here like, well, I just spent $55 on DoorDash McDonald's.

I mean, if you told me that I had to go out in the woods, especially for taste, if it's like, all right, I went fishing, I got the food, but now you want it to taste good, you got to go trek into the jungle and find the cave where they have the bees that have the honey. Guess what I'm just not having? Honey. Fuck you. It is very weird how insects are different everywhere. You said the ants were biting him.

I remember my high school graduation party. One of my good friends is from New Orleans. And a caterpillar fell out of a tree and landed on him. And he ran and screamed. Freaked out. And he's like, they electrocute you. I was like, no, they don't, dude. I don't know what you're talking about.

It's just a caterpillar. It's fine. And he's like, oh, in Louisiana, the caterpillars electrocute you what are you talking about what does that mean team indoors bro ain't nobody nothing's electrocuting me nothing's getting to me any fucking time soon i i would uh if i had to like work the land and eat you know i mean i think i would just die oh yeah five years in prison i don't even uh yeah okay that was just about the i'm not doing any sort of prison either so if i have to make my own food or go to prison i'm killing myself that's why it happened with the um what is it the uh the boston bomber the other day he got uh what happened there

he got like pardoned or some shit not pardoned but it was his his death sentence was taken off so he will not be killed ever ever it wasn't just a stay of execution. It's like it's not happening anymore. Yes, it was overturned. And I was like, I would not appeal that. He's like, I don't know, early to mid-20s. Yeah, he's got like 80 or 50 percent.

Yeah, for a long time. He just died. Yeah. Why did they just like, I don't know, they don't like capital punishment type shit? Yeah, I didn't read it. I don't know.

I just saw the headline. But like, I think that's the worst punishment. To rot in prison? To rot in prison. I don't know. I just saw the headline. But, like, I think that's a worse punishment. To rot in prison? To rot in prison. I'm sure that guy was getting beat up and shit. He was like, oh, fuck. God damn it.

All right, next up. I hope you're dead. My question is. What? He said, I hope you're dead? Hey, y'all. This is Carter from Atlanta. I hope you're dead.

My question is. Hope you're good? Wait, wait, wait. I think he means that. I hope you Carter from Atlanta. Hope you're good. My question is... Hope you're good? Wait, wait. I think he means help you good. Help you good. Hey, y'all. This is Carter from Atlanta. Hope you're good.

My question is, who do you think has the biggest mail-time job of all time? My book is Savannah White. Those tiles have been digital for like 20 fucking years. She doesn't do shit like if they when they do those little quick games she didn't even have to turn them you don't have to press a button

they just go up automatically she has not done anything in at least 20 years and she travels around the world with pat who she probably fucked i gotta assume they fucked i don't know what do you think the biggest no-farm job is? Vanna White's up there. I mean, I've said this before. Vanna, at the same time, it's like, yeah, well, I'm stunningly gorgeous. That's what I do. That's what I bring to the table.

I don't have to be anything else because I've looked the same way I've looked since I was 18. Now I'm 50, and I'm still out here spinning letters. So she is certainly up there and I guarantee I mean, there's just no way those two didn't smash, right? Right. I thought about it. I gave it an actual, yeah.

I thought about it. They do these remotes, they go on vacation together basically. I'm pretty sure. And Sajak's a known coxswain, right? Yes, yeah. And I'm pretty sure he's like a known drinker. Like he loves his, I think he drinks like margaritas or something like that. I meanajak's a known Coxman Yes Yeah And I'm pretty sure He's like a known drinker Like he loves his I think he drinks Like margaritas

Or something like that I mean there's a clip Of him downing margaritas Been doing it Since he was good looking Been doing it Since he didn't have The toupee

Had to have at least At least once Been like okay We can never do this again But for sure smashed The best job Other than that I mean I've always said

Backup quarterback quarterback is pretty good gig back up quarterback to a a quarterback where you know you're not getting in right yeah like a like a like a tom brady a peyton manning even like a brett farve on his iron man streak like i am never playing never i hold this clipboard i don't even i don't even know how to put my pads on anymore because there's no chance of me getting in this game. But you still make decent money. You still live the life. You don't make decent money.

You make a ton of money. Yeah, a ton of money. This is not quite the same at all by any means with money. But I've always thought that being like a bullpen catcher, if you're like a single guy, you're not like living the family life. It's just like you're living like movie Major League or a baseball movie. I travel with the boys. The boys of summer all year long. I just play catch with these guys and live the game I love and make probably a few hundred grand.

I don't think they make that much. I bet you they do. I bet you there's a minimum where you can make 300 grand being a catcher, a bullpen catcher. Maybe not as I think of it. Because that's like a player league minimum is to be a few hundred grand. 90. So imagine that. Imagine you do that.

So you make like 100. Let's say you get to like 150, but doing it long enough. And you're just like, I drink at the bar. I hook up with like cougars and stuff. And I play catch for a living. Not bad. That is pretty good. Like this job, maybe?

Me? Bar stool? Certainly up there. Yeah. Certainly up there. Now, I mean, depends on how you do it. It's like, you can do this job. You can grind yourself to the fucking bone.

Or you can just kind of, you know, coast. Yeah, there are a lot of people here. Who don't grind themselves to the bone. Let's just call a spade a spade. Mail time. You know? A lot of people are not even knocking them. It's like they find one thing.

They're good at it. And they do that. And, you know, I'm always like, let me do a baseball pocket. Let me do this pocket. Let me keep going. Go, go, go. I find this. I'm good. Set. There's quite a few of them. There's a significant portion of people who I bet you there were

listeners at home screaming like, yeah, what about that guy? That girl. And guess what? They make more than bullpen catchers. Seriously. Seriously. Bullpen catchers are traveling around all year and dealing with the heat and shit. People at Barstool are just chilling, making more than that. God damn.

All right, next up. Producer BC, I was just listening to the latest episode, and I heard Kevin did this, like, high-pitched evil, like, laugh that I've never heard him really do. But I've heard him in that episode he did, like, three or four times. Which made me think maybe it's from a show he's watching, if a character does that. Which made me kind of wonder, have you ever been, like, watching a show and get so into it that you kind of start taking on characteristics or affect your emotion, which like plays out in like real life? I definitely know I have before. Okay.

Let me just say, first of all, I just haven't had a voice for about a week. That's the only thing I can think of. I certainly was not doing some high-pitched laugh on purpose. But to answer your question, I mean, there was probably like a two-pitched laugh on purpose. But to answer your question, I mean, there was probably like a two-week period where I ran around going, By order of the pinky fucking blinders. My answer is going to be every single fucking show I watch. My personality is entirely based on characters I've seen on television and movies.

Which it should be, by the way. That's all I am. I am just an amalgamation i was gonna say amalgam but then i was like no it's a me book but either way whatever i am yeah it is just 100 characters i've seen on television but as it should be because those characters are cooler than you and better than me and awesome more awesome than your regular nobody's like you know what i'm gonna mimic the guy at the coffee shop like i'm gonna mimic the dude at chipotle we're talking about guys who are designed to sound cool look cool be cool be awesome be powerful be rich of course i'm gonna try to be like them when i was in college um i was binging scrubs and i based everything about me on dr perry cox and I legitimately lost friends over it.

I was just like the sharp dickhead, and people cut me out of their lives. I don't regret it. I'm doing a bit, and your friends are like, no, you're just being an asshole. Is that the old guy? No, he's one of

the senior doctors. He's just a dick he's just an asshole and i was just like i'm gonna be there well i remember i i don't think i did this i think i unintentionally ended up like this but i remember telling david ducovny i'm like i kind of ended up like hank moody and he was like oh no yeah he was like fuck because i remember thinking hank moody is not exactly the guy you strive to be. But hey, there could be worse people to mimic. And then I told Hank Moody that himself.

And he was like, oh, you poor thing. I was like, fuck, man. He was upset with you. You tried to be that guy. That ruined the interview. That interview sucked because that guy was like, well, this clearly is not a person worth talking to. Because he wanted to be like Hank Moody. He thought that was cool.

That was also our first interview ever. Yeah, that was early on. Our first ever was Jamie Lannister. But like, yeah, our first ever interview. We had Cutler on, we had Logan Couture on, but our first interview ever was Jamie Lannister. And the company

wasn't long after that somebody said to me the other day that was the craziest first interview ever while Game of Thrones was popping too somebody said to me the other day, I can't remember which interview it was but they were giving us props for a recent interview and they said you've come such a long way

since Action Bronson I just want to publicly state once again i would do nothing fucking different with action bronson i would ask that question or a variation of it a thousand times out of a thousand action bronson does have a new song that's good though i listened to it i was like fuck i like it i saw him at king of staten i was like fuck you yeah i know i like i don't like him but then he lost a bunch of weight and people like oh good for him and i was like and then i listened his new song called Latin Grammys, and it's a pretty good beat, pretty cool. I was like, god damn it.

Fuck you, Action. One more voicemail, and we'll get into our interviews. It's Austin calling from the Cube. Classic Cube question for you. I'm about four weeks into my first job out of college. I'm selling ads for a local newspaper. It's going pretty well i've been making sales but i just i just have no idea i have no idea what i'm doing i don't i i don't really get i don't know i've been getting by fine i'm very good at talking and like improvising

some would call it lying yep but i'm just wondering how long can I keep this up? Is this just what everyone does for their whole career? Is everyone at my work just talking and lying? Am I going? Okay. Here's the thing. How much longer can you keep up selling ads for a newspaper? Like three more weeks.

Cause I didn't even know that was still a thing how much longer can you keep up the act of sales forever and ever that it's when people say i'm in sales it's like what the fuck does that mean but if you're quote unquote in sales and you're good at it you can kind of do any job in the world you just happen to sell xyz but you don't you know i got a friend who's who who sells in like pharmaceuticals he doesn't know a fucking thing about pharma he doesn't know about science and the government and health and all that he can just talk circles around anybody he's got the gift of gab and everybody wants to talk to him and be him and and and so he can go he could take that and go anywhere so it's like one of the sleaziest slimiest like you are just lying you are just tricking people that's what

every job is all of it that's the thing it's like sales kind of has the connotation but every other job already is that it's just at least sales it is what it is it's out on the table we talk about all the time that's what becoming an adult is is realizing that no one knows anything because like two of my best friends one is a financial advisor one is a lawyer and i was like you're both the dumbest people i know and like you and people go to you for like like hugely important here's my here's my hundred thousand dollar life savings like you tell me what to do with it or i'm walking into court and i might go to jail you gotta save me i need you those fucking people i would never call you for anything. I love you both. I would never call you for anything.

It's like, teachers, all sluts. All hoes. Every girl. Everybody's fucking. Every person who taught you cursive was getting anal the night before. Can you really think about that? That's so fucking funny. They were drunk teaching you how to make a cursive G.

That's why it makes no sense. That's why no one knows what they're doing. She had her butt plugged in while teaching you because she was doing some kinky shit going home later that night. Every teacher I know is a hoe. I've had sex with multiple people who then in the morning woke up at 6 a.m. to go teach addition. To go teach the youth of America. They got plan B on their way to fucking homeroom. Okay?

Unreal. Everybody's a hoe. I have a friend who you mentioned pharmaceutical sales. I have a friend who sells surgery equipment. Right? And so he has to be present during surgeries because if the doctor has a problem with the equipment he has to tell him how to fix it oh my god and he passed out drunk once in the surgery in the operating

room kevin it was like a 6 a.m surgery he's like i got surgery in the morning i was like what are you talking about and he's like i have to be that he explained the whole thing i have to be there in case an issue happens with the equipment and then he he was drunk as shit telling me this at like 2 a.m some alarm is going off like his blood pressure's dropping it's like dude why what what are we doing what and he wasn't sitting he was standing he collapsed it wasn't sitting. He was standing. He collapsed. It wasn't a panic. He collapsed. I thought you meant he was sitting in the corner dozed off.

He needed surgery afterwards. Oh, my God. I mean, I get where if you're doing sales at a newspaper, you are probably not thinking like, wow, this is where I want to be. And this is where I'm on the right track. But you're on the right track to like, everybody's first job sucks, you know? Yeah, I still have it. That's what I'm saying.

Let's get fucking lucky like this. Everybody has some shit where they're like, oh yeah, I was like working out of this, or I was working on the register here. If selling some shit for a newspaper is where you start, eventually you're going to be selling, you know. Think about it. You could be like a shitty real estate broker right but then all of a sudden one day you're a real estate broker for like the millionaires of malibu whatever that's the greatest thing in the world it's like i could sell a house

to some suburban fucking mom and make a shitty commission i could do the same exact job if i just do it with the right clientele my commission's like two million dollars each yeah it's like you just gotta but it's the same art it's the same thing you just have to find the right place to do it dude i remember what i i'm a son of a bitch i remember looking at a house recently it's crazy that you're doing that i'm not gonna do it but it was just something to look at kind of deal and i remember just like i'm like so so if I bought this house, you make like $60,000. Right. And it's like they didn't do anything.

They literally had the key. That's it. They walk around and show you the room. They don't tell you anything. They don't do anything. That's a lot of money. But that's because it's just sales. And it's just like you get in a position where you build up a portfolio of clients and they

just come to you every time they need a house or whatever and there you fucking go for nothing. New York City brokers are the worst because they literally just have the key and they let you in and then it's like I know you're going to take it because you can't afford anything else and you have to pay 15 times the rent and double this and deposit that. It's fucking bullshit

but sales is universally important. It's okay to love. I had an idea the other day i was like i think i'm just gonna try to be honest at all times oh yeah and and then i like immediately realized how unrealistic that is like i can't i can't tell these people i mean like day one i was like tell the truth tell the truth no wait no don't do that don't do that like no way it's easier now it would be a it would be amazing if i could but I just absolutely fucking can't. So keep on, keep on with your sales, and one day you'll trick people into giving you more money.

Interviews today. Let's get into it with No Face Girl. It's brought to you by 3G. will get you feeling the way you want to be feeling when you smoke something. Okay. I've been dancing around it. I don't know what I can legally say and can't say. I just don't know how many more different ways I can package this and tell you that 3C has THC in it, so it's just like everything else you've ever really wanted to smoke or have or consume.

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And none of the drawbacks. It's 3Chi.com. Promo code Kfc let's talk to no face girl can you hear us give me a thumbs up there we are there he is there you go what's up girl hey how we doing i am good how are you guys good rocking that porn hub that porn hub hoodie is iconic love it it. It's my favorite. Yeah. We got No Face Girl making her KFC Radio debut.

I feel like this has been a long time coming, and I'm happy to finally get it on the books. So thanks for joining us. The pillows look good back there. Oh, the pillows. I know. Thank you. We pretty much immediately replaced them after you called us out. So we're like really on top of it now.

That was, I have never seen someone. John, what did you comment? Just like, look at those pillows. Gross. No, dude. I made a fucking joke. It wasn't anything like. They were gnarly.

They were. I mean. They were disgusting. It was accurate accurate it was for sure accurate but i mean and here's the deal no face girl um i don't know um and here's the deal like i have the most disgusting pillows in the history of the world like my pillows are terrible do Do you have them? Can you show them? Can I show them? That is actually, beyond just the pillows, the idea of John criticizing anybody.

My girlfriend stayed here this morning, so she made my bed, so actually it was pretty good at the moment. But, I don't know. Usually you would catch John with like melted Sour Patch kids in his, in his sheets and like tobacco and beer spilling everywhere. I mean, him criticizing anybody's cleanliness is,

I don't, I don't like criticizing. I made a joke. I made a joke. That's it. I also sometimes have melted sour patch kids in my bed. I'm not judging at all. So have you, I know that we feel this way. Like when we post a picture or do a video, people think they're so clever looking at the background of things and looking at what's on the walls

and trying to put together all these clues. And that's for us, for you, not only doing porn, but also being mysterious and hiding your face. I feel like they're like, well, let's put together the piece of the puzzle that we can see. So I would imagine you get scrutinized for everything else. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, that is something that we're super on top of. Like every time before we're filming, we're like, all right, look around.

Is there any identifying features anywhere? And like throw them off sometimes, you know? Yeah. It's just, it's a tricky thing. Um, yeah. Um, obviously it's something you're still trying to keep a secret. And I mean, you, you, you guys blew up. I feel like, um, I kind of stumbled upon you probably pretty early on, right? I mean, I don't know exactly how long you've been around, but I don't think you were. Yeah, we've been around for like two years. I feel like your Shazam blog post came out. Was that like a year ago, maybe? I feel like maybe even longer, but yeah.

Maybe a little longer, yeah it was longer yeah definitely longer yeah i feel like i feel like it was if you've been around for two years i feel like i wrote that blog almost two years ago so i feel like it was yes you've been here since the start i'm an og no face fan over here um love it but you know it's one thing when you when you start out and you're like hey we got to keep this a secret, it's one thing when you, when you start out and you're like, Hey, we got to keep this a secret. But it's another thing when, I mean, you guys have blown up. I saw that the ranking on Pornhub is like 25, which I mean, there's more porn on the internet than like anything in the world. So to be ranked in the top 25 of that is insane, but yet you still want to keep this anonymous. You still want to keep it a side gig? Yeah, definitely. I mean, we do have day jobs, which we both are

super passionate about. So yeah, this definitely started as just like super side hustle plan, had no idea we would ever blow up. We were like like it would be cool if we maybe pull in like a hundred dollars every month like that'd be a sweet deal like um yeah and what the idea was if we could make what people make in a day it would be pretty good yeah it was like combination of like it would be cool to have a little passive income. But then the main thing was also just like, kind of like the kink of being able to put ourselves out there and have people watching us. And yeah, that was definitely a big part of it. So yeah, getting, getting to a point where we started blowing up was super unexpected uh but also quick i mean it feels you know within a year all of a sudden uh you know you're all over the place i feel like that is i would almost be i would be scared i feel like the success would make me shut it down because if i was just like listen hey we like filming we like uh putting on a show like you

said for the kink just for me and you to like have fun and then all of a sudden if I saw that a video of mine got like millions of views I get nervous if I do a viral video for what I do where I'm just talking I'm like oh shit so many more people saw that than I thought I can't believe I said this I can't believe I did that that if I was fucking on camera I feel like I would be freaking out. No, for sure. And I think I go through that maybe once every couple of months where I'm like, oh my God, should we be doing this? Like, yeah. I mean, that risk definitely freaks me out a lot more than it freaks out No Face Guy.

But we also like really love it. And like, you know, being in the position we're at now is pretty sweet so um yeah we just keep being like you know what we're just gonna keep risking it and well when you say risk like at this point is it i believe i've heard you say before that your your family and like your close friends already know yeah yeah so more so I guess like job wise things like that but we have decided that's like super awkward conversation to have to have with someone especially when you don't know for sure it's them like they don't see my face so like what a weird conversation to have to have so yeah we've decided like it's worth it we'll just keep sliding by and you know if

something ever happens we'll deal with it but for now like we'll just keep sliding by. And you know, if something ever happens, we'll deal with it. But for now, like we'll keep going. Is there anybody in your life, friends or, or coworkers that you think, or, you know, that they know? Um, I don't think so. I think all the people, like all the close people in my life already know. Did anybody ever guess it or you told them? No, no. We've always just told you. You're very good at it.

There's no way I could spot you in a crowd. Oh, good. Well, that's a relief. My really close friends, they're like, oh, I would totally know that's you. How? I think just because, I think it's because they know I do it. And then. Well, yeah.

And then you start to put it together. Well, you know. I know you know, but. You say, John, you say if I could spot you in a crowd, I don't think there's ever going to be a crowd where you see people doing what she does, but I think if you were to see a girl have sex in the same setting, in the same way she does, I bet you could put it together. I think if I hid my face, John, I think

you would know I'm having sex. You think so? I absolutely think so. No, I don't think I could spot you fucking, Kev. I think I could spot you fucking. You might have to do an experiment. Take a bunch of videos everyone has to watch them do you see if you can pick them out you don't have any tattoos do you uh i do but but not yeah i just feel like that would be he has tattoos right yeah so like that would be you know yeah because i always think like i have scars on my body and

shit that i think are pretty noticeable i don't know it just seems like i would just be thinking about every oh my god this i have a birthmark i have a freckle if he notices that and sees that but yeah i also feel like uh it's it's unless you're not ever thinking it you know what i mean i would imagine everyone you work with isn't assuming that. So you just never get to it together. Yeah. It's those things that like you notice on yourself that you're like, this is so noticeable.

Everyone would know this about me. And then in real life, like nobody knows those things. Nobody cares. Yeah. They don't care. I think we said that on this show, like no one cares about anything about to do with you. Everyone's like so narcissistic in their own head.

No one gives a shit at all. You know, you have a stain on your shirt or you realize something doesn't match or you have a pimple or whatever. It's like, nobody is, especially over camera, it's like nobody can tell any of this shit, man. Dude, today I went to wash my hands,

right? And you know sometimes when you wash your hands, you get up against the sink and you get water on you and it looks like you pissed yourself? Yeah. And I was just walking around Manhattan being like, I know no one is looking at this. I know no one cares about this. It looks like I full-on

pissed myself. And I was like, no one gives a shit. Who cares? Well, you may be... Maybe you've gone too far, John. I don't know. I might notice that about someone. I mean, it was sad. What's going on with him? So,

I mean, you guys must be fucking rich now, huh? You guys got to be doing well. We're doing well. Yeah, you're doing well. And don't be? You guys got to be doing well. We're doing well. Yeah, you're doing well. And don't be humble about it. You're killing it. Is it all?

I know you do Fan Centro, which is like a subscription service. Yeah, we've got Fan Centro. We've got OnlyFans, Pornhub. And then we've got like our fan club on Pornhub. Which one makes the most money? Oof. Probably Pornhub. Yeah, Pornhub's still the money maker.

Yeah, probably Pornhub. Yeah. Yeah. Does it get boring? Like, not boring, but does it get mature? Where you're like, oh, I got to fuck on camera today? There's definitely sometimes i would say like um there's times where we realize like oh shit we haven't filmed anything this week and then it becomes then it starts to feel like work because it's like oh fuck we have to film

something the next time we have sex it has to be filmed so like there are those little times for me regularly like i'm doing it for a job. Yeah. I will say we recently went on like a mini vacation and we, we were on our filming game, like at least a couple of videos a day. Once we got back, I was like, I need you to stay away from me for the two days. We like really went at it this weekend. Let's take a little pause. Do you like, so do you guys like script it like do you have like all right this video's gotta be uh an anal video or whatever or are you just like all right we're gonna fuck and we're gonna see what happens

uh i would say a little bit of both like we definitely keep in mind what our past videos have been we're like okay we haven't done anal in like months let's make an anal video or if we've done like a lot of reverse cowgirl we'll maybe be like okay let's avoid that in this video like switch it up i guess doggy is probably our default so we try to sometimes be like all right let's maybe only do that for a minute or something uh you know what i was like i mean that there. I think that's our best position. Yeah, I hear what you're saying. You want to keep it spicy.

You want to diversify. You could always probably just do a little reverse cowgirl and doggy. Yeah. It's like when you go to a concert, you want to hear the hits. Just play the blast. True, true. Very true. Yeah. to a concert you want to hear the hits just play just play the true true very true yeah so when you did uh you told i'm you know i'm sure maybe family is like supportive but when you told your friends

was there anybody who was just like busting your balls or just being like what the fuck or were people like surprised not surprised what's the kind of reaction to that? I feel like all of our friends are super open-minded. So they were all like, that's fucking genius. Like most of them thought it was really cool. And some of them even like, you know, had a very brief moment of being like, maybe I could do that. And we're of course like, hell yeah, you could.

Like you absolutely could. And nobody has followed through, but I would say for the most part, people have been super chill and like, they think it's cool. You guys seem a little, a little hippie dippy. I could see. Free love. Let's go. Experimenting with your body. Yeah. I can, I can definitely feel that vibe. We've talked about it on the show before eventually everyone is going to be doing something similar eventually like we we've joked that like i like we should start an only fans account because like

eventually like everyone's just gonna have an only fans or something along those lines and i think that you're just you're way ahead of the curve. Yeah. Yeah. That's been kind of like one of the things that's helped me feel better is like during all of this COVID-19 stuff,

OnlyFans is blowing up. Like everybody's like, shit, I don't have a job anymore. I'm going to make an OnlyFans. And people are so public about it. Which I think is awesome. It's really cool to see people who are like my age and they're just like i don't give a fuck i don't have any of their options right now i'm making an only fans and i'm gonna openly uh put it out there like people

putting it on their pub their regular instagram just it's out there i have a friend of a friend who made 25 grand last month just a regular ass person that's a lot of money it's like the perfect thing to be doing right now because either yeah it's either a job you can be doing and then on the flip side there's so many people at home who are just bored and horny so this is like prime time to be getting in I think but you I mean you it's good that you started when you did because you're like yeah like if you're trying to scramble and start it right now it's it's fine but if you already had it established it's like now businesses are booming and uh and you're like you're not you're used to it by now you know I feel like it's gonna be do you think that in the future it will be,

I feel like a lot of people already do have it and maybe more anonymously, but do you think it'll be something that people just openly have? And maybe they're having sex, maybe they're masturbating, maybe it's just nudes, maybe it's, it's like just for skate pictures. But I feel like it's almost going to be like OnlyFans is another social media platform you have where you can make money on. And I think it's already blown up so much. And I think given a couple of years, I feel like it's going to be way more common. Yeah. We always joke around that there's probably going to be one day where it's like, right now that might be something that gets in the way of getting a job. And then one day, you know, maybe when the millennials are at the point of being bosses and stuff, it's going to be like, oh, you didn't have an OnlyFans.

Like, no, you're not qualified. You're out of here. So, yeah. I mean, I think that's the way the entertainment industry is wanting to go for, like, you just pay content creators directly. Right? to go for like you just pay content creators directly right and be it for comedy be it for whatever you want to be or or for sucking dick whatever it is everyone is just like they should own their job they should own their videos they should own everything why not have it on onlyfans yeah are you um are you planning on i know you've been playing the ukulele i know uh i saw that

that was fucking bullshit by the way how good your voice is john's jealous i'm not even on the ukulele thing i'm jealous about the voice the ukulele i from that son of a bitch but the the voice itself was like jesus christ that was gorgeous a lot of girls reacting like, and this bitch can sing too. But I know, you know, you've been doing that. I know your man is, he's getting on the gamer trend and he's on Twitch. He's been loving that life. Is that more for fun or do you guys have plans of trying to make that like a

business as well? No, I mean mean for me the ukulele is purely for fun i just love it um and then yeah i mean he's got his twitch set up and uh he really loves that so he's been doing pretty consistently so i guess that is considered like you know another thing but what a home. He's just like playing his game, banging his girl, making a boatload of money, whatever. Living the dream. Goodness gracious. So when this,

when something like this isn't your plan though, like you said, you know, it just kind of, uh, you were going to do it like as a, as like a fantasy thing. And next thing you know, it basically is a business. But like, how long do you do this? Do you just do this forever? Is there going to be a day where you just kind of... Grandma porn?

No, did you see that sports realtor chick? Yeah, that girl's hot. What is she, like 60-something? 56 and a goddamn nuclear bomb. I'll have to look her up yeah she's got you know this this silver fox look to her she's gorgeous but and by the way i think we got quite a ways to go before you're a grandma so in the meantime we've got some time can you do this for like 10 straight years 15 20 i mean? I mean, do you get bored of it? Do you are like, all right, I'm done with her. We've seen enough of her.

Then maybe we'll eventually back off or something. But for now, we don't have any plans on. You're familiar with Asa Akira, right? Yes? Yeah. Do you think that anybody sits around going, I'm just, I'm over her. I'm not going to watch her have sex anymore. True, yeah.

That's not really how it works, dear. True, true. Yeah, no, I mean, we're definitely planning on keeping it going. As long as it's feeling fun and good to us, we'll just keep it up. If it were, let's say, growth or views or whatever metrics you guys watch after, if they were to stall, would you be like, fuck it, it's FaceTime? Maybe, I don't know. you maybe i don't know i don't know what do you think would be the main motivator to show your face would it be money would it be a drop in popularity would it be just the the fun of revealing i think if it ever happened i think if we were to do that We 100% we would have to be in a place

Where society is finally Like super chill with porn like there's No way of it fucking with our lives At all and then I would be Super down like That would be dope to be able to Show our face it would be so much easier To film oh my god

How many times you're like oh I, I got to put the pixelation in or we can do this position now. It's so hard. Or even like, even just like blowjob scenes. Like I love blowjobs. They're like my favorite thing. This fucking guy. I actually have no favorite guy.

We just have to like, we got to rein it back so much because if you, you just have to be so cautious about what you're doing. So aware. So it's really hard to just like be in those kinds of moments. Um, there's been times where I'm like, fuck it. We're just going to go for it. And then we'll deal with it when we need to edit. And then we get to editing and it's like, there's no saving this. We can not, we can't doesn't work. So the main thing stopping you then is is work like losing your job just that kind of stuff let's say you know uh let's say you lost your job for another reason and that wasn't

on the table would it would it then just be like fine fuck it or is there i honestly think i don't yeah i think i think the it's a better hook to do. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think, I guess, yeah, I think if we got to a point where we were like, yeah, I'm comfortable with showing our face, we'd probably still ride it out the way we're doing for a while, you know, like keep this going while it's good. And then, yeah, like you said, Feidelberg, like when we get to a point where it starts to feel like maybe people are losing interest, then it's like, bam, hit him with the face. Surprise. It's so funny. I always joke about you. Like you, you know, when you're, when you're, when you're a guy,

you want to see every other part of a girl's body. But now that because you hide your face, I just want to see her forehead. I just want to see what her eyebrows look like. You know? Totally. I mean, who knows?

Maybe you're just butt ugly. Who knows? There's been a small number of people who have seen me. So you'll have to touch base with them. I'll tell you what, I can definitively say that no face girl isn't ugly because of how she just reacted to that. Yeah. She was like, Oh, maybe I am. Shut up that no face girl isn't ugly because of how she just reacted to that. Yeah.

She was like, Oh, maybe I am. Shut up you hot girl. We'll never know. That was the hottest hot girl reaction ever. I'm actually a 12 out of 10 dick. Well,

I mean, well, how about this then? What would be the number right now? What if, what if a fan was like, we're going to set up a GoFundMe account, some sort of fundraiser account, and everybody put in money? And what would be the goal?

You know when people say, two million retweets and I'll take you to prom. What if it was like, how many dollars for you to show your face? Everybody's got a number. Yeah. What would be yours? I don't know. Maybe. I mean, it would have to be like for like in the hundred millions, maybe even a billion right now.

Maybe a billion right now. A hundred million. You are, you're. Right now. If I put a stack of 10 million dollars cash no not 10 million I need more girl you are taking it huh

how much money are you making on the phone how much money do you have you just I mean not that much at all turn down 10 million like I would take my penis out right now for like 300 bucks. I will Venmo you right now.

Let's go. You just said a billion dollars. That's what I feel like right now at this point in my life with like my job and just like just those pieces are so much to me. Imagine if I said nine hundred million and you said no, not nine hundred million. No, you just said a unicorn valuation. That's crazy. I can't decide what that says more that's either you are way more of a hippie than I even thought you were because you're like money just doesn't matter or you are making so much

goddamn money doing this and I can't even wrap my head around it honestly I think it's more of the first one I I mean like money is important for sure but like the things that like my job makes like it's my passion and there's a lot of other pieces that are just so important to me that like losing that would not outweigh I mean if you made $500 you could pay your job to keep you on salary maybe yeah that's true maybe I'll. Yeah, I'll buy my company. I'll buy the whole building. Building, yeah. I'll buy everything. That is unbelievable. We could do that.

All right, fans, you heard it. Start the fucking fundraising. Get my GoFundMe up, guys. Get to a billion and you could see the top half of her face. Well, it's awesome. Thanks for coming on. And I guess, you know, thanks for the work. Thanks for the work you do. Yeah, it's, it's awesome. Thanks for coming on. And I guess, you know, thanks for the work. Thanks for the work. Yeah. Thanks for the views. Yeah. I think how about this? I'll keep the views up if you keep the work up and we can just keep. Oh yeah. Okay. All right. Sweet deal. I'm in. All right. Thanks so much.

All right. You know, I just just how much could you possibly like your job that you don't want to just be a professional porn star if you're gonna do it like the whole thing like being a porn star is like you have to get over the stigma and the taboo then once you do that just fucking do that quit yeah yeah and she can still do the no face thing because it's a good gimmick. You don't have to be like, I am now, like, my face is everywhere. But stop going here, nine to five. Imagine you filmed yourself getting fucked and got a couple million views at night,

and then you set your alarm for 730 in the morning to go to work. More importantly, the next day when someone's giving you shit, it's like, fuck you. I've got 100 million views on porn hub okay i got the best asshole in the game you're gonna yell at me about like this presentation wasn't good fuck you i mean it's it's could you do that could i fuck on camera yeah yeah you think so like like right now if if like you were like let's like if you or your girl or some of your with was like let's do it let's be like an anonymous porn couple would you do it boy that's a tough question i think if i was a normal person i think there's too many like you notice my scars or you fucking notice the room i'm in or something yeah that's true my

tattoos would be hard to hide yeah i always wondered that like i i also think we kind of talked about this on the interview i feel like if if you know a girl well and you see like everything but just like her eyes i think you could place her don't you think so i think there's always a level of plausible deniability where you can just be like i know it looks like me but it's not right but i think i'd be like yo that is you is, you know, Margaret from Accounting's ass. You know? I feel like that's, you know, if people see me, like, from behind on, like, a video or a picture, they, like, know it. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're probably right. But I guess there's just so few people when you're, like, a normal person that doesn't really matter. I don't know.

But so, do you think you could do it? If I, like, showed you the money. I mean, you can, especially OnlyFans and shit. Like, I think you can make bank. It's like, and you and your girl,'re gonna have sex anyway let's just film it keep our faces off it we upload it like we put up put up a tweet like we put up a video it just happens to be us fucking you just put it there you don't even look at it you don't even need to worry about it and it just racks up views and money because i'm not good enough so like yeah

but i don't even know if you need to like you just if you i get the thing is that dude i think knows how to edit and like shit like that i you know you put together a couple this is the thing this is why i would do it theoretically you we know this fucking market we know this game like i know what to make the thumbnail i know what to make the video look like and where to you know what i mean like i can deliver when i see when you see like a porn video that's just like like you know like guy goes down on a girl like who the fuck is watching that you're wasting your time man uh but what do you think yeah yeah you're nay yay but i'd have to you'd have to promise me i'm drop like if someone would sell me their channel i'd do that like i don't want

to build a career right i don't want to like get i want to be like okay here you make money right day one you open the door well all right so what about like you know when pornhub or not pornhub anymore but like vixen video used to be like we'll give you a million dollars because you're going viral you know yeah but that's not anonymous right right right yeah i i wonder sometimes i thought this about only fans and maybe with things like these porn couples like 20 50 years from now if it's like a lot more common and they just happen to be like the first people to do it. It's like, oh, you don't show people like you're fucking. No, honestly, why not?

Damn it. I should have been doing it earlier. Good for her. I mean, they're I don't know. They're just this like hippie couple who just fucking play video games. It's amazing. It's a good mail time job. It's a good mail time job. There it is.

It's a good number one answer. Back to that earlier voicemail. No face girl and no fate. And there's specifically no face guy. At least no face girl is out there doing some work. He's just, it's just as dick while he plays video games. It's amazing.

That guy is my fucking hero. Speaking of heroes, we'll talk to Jeff Foxworthy. Now dude has been in the game for a long time and I'll just tell you straight off the bat, things get heated. They get heated, they get personal, and next time I see Jeff Foxworthy, I think I'm going to have to fight him. I'm going to present him with a butterfinger, and I'm going to slap him in the face like we're challenging him to a duel.

Jeff Foxworthy on KSU Radio. Let's talk to him. Look at you getting all pretty for the ball. Oh, for God's sake. Look at Cinderella getting pretty for the ball. Oh, for God's sake. Look at Cinderella getting ready for the ball. That's kind of one of those, as soon as I realized camera was up, I'm like, oh, crap. You might be redneck if you get your hair and makeup done. If this gets out, they're revoking my hunting license in Georgia.

We got video of you getting makeup, boys. We had on our old office, we had like basically a bar where we didn't really have a green room for guests to wait in or anything like that. And we had guests sometimes who were just very mortified to be sitting at the bar in the middle of a fairly busy office, just getting makeup put on. Getting primped up. Come on, man. Gotta look good for the cameras. Yeah, nothing wrong with that.

My wife used to, my wife doesn't even drink, but back 30 years ago, somebody sent a limo and they had, you know, and it was horrible whiskey. They had, like, scotch and rye. She would get in at 10 o'clock in the morning. You want a drink? Did she want to make herself a drink? I'm like, you don't even drink. She goes, I know, but it's free.

It's right there. You got to do it. Yeah. Why don't you have a rye and Coke while you're at it? We got Jeff Foxworthy back here on the show. The hair and makeup, it works, though, bud. You're looking sharp. You're looking good.

Got the flow going. The hair looks great. 4-0. I just did the cut. It was actually, I went from February till almost July without a haircut. Wow. And it looked like hello 1978. I mean, it was awesome.

It was down the back. When was the last time you didn't have a – I'm just happy to still have it. When was the last time you didn't have the stash? I cut it off the first week of coronavirus. Oh, you did? Oh, really? Well, I started growing it

in the summer between the 11th and 12th grade and I had never shaved it. Wow. I've been with my wife 36 years. She had never seen me without it. So when they started canceling gigs, I'm like,

well, hell, you know, I'd never been more than two weeks I wasn't on stage or on TV. And so I'm like, all right, and I didn't even say anything. I just went in the bathroom, snipped it with scissors,

shaved it off. And I walked out and she looked at me. She went, oh, wow. Okay, grow it back. She hated it. Is that tough for you to hear that the woman you love, the woman you've married,

is like not interested in the full face? We got to cover that thing up. No, no. The more of your face you can cover up, the better. That's the good part of masks. You just hide your ugly face. Let's do it.

The funny thing was, like, so I posted a picture on Instagram of me without a mustache because there's never been one. And like 20% of the people were like,

oh, wow, you look younger. 80% of the people were like, no, no, no. Jeff Foxworthy has a mustache. Grow it back. That's ridiculous. It is.

It's a weird thing to see. It's a strange vibe. Like, your entire face looks different. I don't know why, but it does everything. It's weird how sensitive, like, human beings are to change. And people get used to it in a week, by the way. It's just that one picture is jarring. It's like when a social media platform changes their setup and how it works.

Or a station on TV, their channel number changes and shit like that with their logo. People freak out. Or when you're confined to your house and you can't leave the house for six months. Yeah, it's amazing how used to things we get. One of the comments on your picture from Kathleen Magadan, she said, oh, my God, is this one of the signs in the Bible? So needless to say, there was a big overreaction. But, hey, that's how you know, A, that you are not breaking news. You're super famous, but B, you've got an iconic look to you that if people freak out,

we change our hair or we could change our whole head and people would be like, whatever, we don't care. So you've got a look to you, sir. Well, you know, it's like Sam Elliott. I mean, you see him in things without a mustache, but part of you is like, nah, that's not right. You know, Sam needs that big droopy mustache. So you've got a new show out.

You're one of the busiest guys in showbiz, as always. It's kind of an antique roadshow type of vibe, what's it worth? Are you going around house to house? Are you going to people's – when was this filmed? Was this pre-corona so you can actually get out there with the people? Oh, no, no, no. Because originally we were talking about doing it last fall. We were going to do a live show where with a live audience people brought in their stuff we'd have the

appraisers there and and then they're like you want to sell it and we were going to do like a live auction while the show was on where people could could bid on it on their phones from all over the country and then covid happened and obviously you can't have a live audience but what happened was everybody that was stuck at home started doing all the projects they'd never had time to do they were cleaning out their attics clean out the garage so we started getting inundated with people going hey I found this in a trunk in the attic and so we started talking about could you do this virtually you know could you let people take their phones and walk you through their house and show you their stuff? Yeah.

And I was kind of pessimistic once we started doing it. See, like as a comic, I've always had a theory. Everybody should go to the fair at least once a year, if for no other reason, because it makes you feel better about your own family. Everybody thinks their family's jacked up and then you get to the fair and you're looking around and you're like, hell, we're all right. We're doing pretty good.

We're damn near royalty, baby. And so it was kind of that way going into people's houses. And, you know, you see granny in the corner, and she won't even quit watching The Price is Right. You know, she just sits over there doing her thing, and you see their dog, and, you know, they walk you through, and you're like, where is this thing? Everybody hid it in the sock drawer. And I'm like, that's day one of burglar school.

That's the first place you go. Yeah. Give me an example. that's day one of burglar. That's the first place you go. Yep. Yep. Yeah. So what, um, give me an example. Like what's, what's the, one of the best,

most expensive, most, uh, rare. What, what are some of the items people are getting? Okay. We,

we had, we had one person had something in their house. They wanted to know what it was worth. It was worth half a million bucks. Holy shit. What was it? Uh, it was a painting.

Wow. Did they have any idea that it was even going to be remotely that like they didn't know no hell we had people that were about to throw something away that was like by a famous artist that was just worth a ton of money and they were literally about to put it in a yard sale oh my god you know what i would do he see here's the problem you You guys should have just like stole that. You should have been like, it's worth 500 bucks and then Jeff Foxworthy buys it and sells it for 500 million. Deadcommit.

Why didn't we do that? This is like the movie Inside Man. I don't know if you've ever seen it. But it's with Denzel Washington. And I always thought, instead of making this movie, you should have just done this robbery. Because it's fantastic. Great plot.

It's a great, great idea. And this is kind of the similar thing here. I would have just bought this idea from you, never made a show, said, yep, that's garbage, throw it out. What's the address, by the way? Okay, thank you. Yeah, have the expert tell them it's worth 12 bucks. Tell them you'll give them 20 to take it off their hands. So you got a bill of sale.

I should have done that. Are you an art guy? Because part of me, whenever I see these stories sometimes, almost exactly what you're describing where, you know, it doesn't look fancy. It doesn't look famous. It doesn't look important. It's just like a blue canvas. And someone finds out it's worth $400 million.

I don't get it and it drives me crazy but i i don't know some people in the art world are all about it i mean i'm i draw i draw in pain i've i've got like notebooks full of people i've drawn in the airport and airport and put funny captions on them but i know i know nothing about art i collect like i have a couple of weird collections. Like I grew up a baseball. And so like when I got to the point that I started doing TV, if I was doing The Tonight Show or if I was hosting an award show, I just keep some baseballs in my backpack and I'd get people to sign them. So, of course, being a comic, that was like so like on a a baseball i have johnny carson i've got one of richard pryor

bob hope red skelton you know george all on baseballs i like that a lot you know i've got nba players i've got nfl players i've got rock and rollers you know elton john and robert plant and are any of the other athletes weirded out like Like when you ask an NFL player to sign a baseball, are they like, I don't get it, why? Or are they just like, whatever? No, most of them were pretty cool about it. You know, Johnny Unitas was like, you know I was a football player. I know.

But this would be cool because how many Johnny Unitas baseballs are there? I mean, it's got to be one of the rarest things in memorabilia, yeah. And so the cool thing is like, I just put them around my office and to see people looking at them, like I didn't know Leo Decaprio, Leonardo Decaprio played baseball. You know, it's just, they're just, they're all mixed in with other things. So it's pretty cool. How has the, you just,

you said you hadn't gone more than like two weeks without being on stage. We've been talking a lot of comics over the past couple months where they're kind of going crazy over it. Are you at a point in your career, though, where maybe it's a welcome break? I mean, you've been working hard for a long, long time. Is it nice to get away or are you going stir crazy? You know, it was funny. I probably hadn't been two weeks without getting on an airplane in almost 30 years. See, that sounds great to me to get a break from that.

Yeah. So I live in Atlanta, but I have a farm about an hour south of Atlanta. So we spent the first nine weeks of this just on the farm. And it was the first time like I'd slept in the same bed, you know, at dinner with my wife and all. So when everybody was complaining about it, I'm like, dude, this is like the best two months of my life. I've never. But I, you know, I do miss being on stage.

I'm one of the weird comics that most people get into standup because it's like a great springboard for TV and movies. And once they do TV and movies, they don't do standup anymore. And I was just one of those weird guys that, and I've done TV and movies, and I enjoyed it. It was something different. But if you put a gun to my head and said, oh, you can't do but one thing, it would always be stand-up. I still love stand-up. Well, you also reached a level.

I mean, when you're doing a tour of the magnitude that you did where it becomes this societal – it's societal, you know, it's a big deal. I feel like that's a lot different than if you got to still go out there and kind of grind it out on the road. I can see why some people leave that behind, but like something like the blue collar tour is like, you know, that's gotta, that's gotta be one of the best experiences ever. Yeah. That was, that was probably the most fun thing I ever did because the only negative

thing I ever found about being a comic was you were on the road by yourself. And so doing that, you were with three of your best friends and, you know, I mean, we would just kind of laugh every night after the show going, can you believe they're paying us? Yeah. Well, we actually talked to Larry. Basically, towards the start of quarantine, we were talking

to Larry and had a chew in the whole time, which I loved. Our first guest ever with a chew the whole time. But he was telling us about the early days of Blue Collar where he said he doesn't drink much anymore because there was one time where he was found hanging out of the bus or something like that. Yeah, like half-body hanging out of the bus.

You guys are going rock star early life? Yeah, he's the worst drinker in the world. We were doing a thing when they were wanting to make it a movie, so we're in L.A. to meet with these movie movie execs and i don't remember what we've been doing but he came in you know dressed like crap for this and it's at this restaurant and the guy the big movie exec had bought this really expensive bottle of wine i mean like a 2500 bottle of wine. I mean, like a $2,500 bottle of wine. And Larry literally sat down and went, boom. I mean, slammed it down. Didn't even take, wasn't even a swallow. I mean, just wide open.

And he went from being fine to being pie-eyed in like six minutes to the point that Ron's going, knock it off. You're kidding, right? There ain't no way you're drunk that fast. He's a horrible drinker. He described it as, I think he said like your tour manager or someone was like, cut it out. It's not going to be like this. We're not going to be, you know, trashed in the place and fucked up the whole time.

And that you guys kind of stuck to that rule. Yeah, yeah. Because it became real quick. I mean, because you were in a different city every night. We were doing, you know, 15,000, 20,000 people, and you're like, dude, you can't do this this way. We're all going to be dead in a week. So, yeah. 20K in an arena.

He was the worst at it. 20K in an arena where you're hungover? I don't know. That's not what I would look forward to. I will tell you the funny story about Larry. So, like, because Larry and Ron both, like, really exploded when that thing came out. And so, Larry got a deal with Nutrisystem. And they were paying him, like like a dump truck of money,

but he had to lose 50 pounds. That was the deal. And so Larry's like, I don't have the willpower to do it. And so I'm like, dude, hire a trainer, have somebody go with you. And so we hired this guy to go with us to make sure that he exercised every day and that he ate right. And Larry would come in the dressing room and go, Hey, I just heard they got donuts in the green room.

He goes, go over there and distract the trainer for 10 minutes. Just go distract him. And I'm like, you're paying him to get this money. And you're giving away a million bucks so you can go eat a chocolate-frosted donut. Yeah, but then Prilosec came coming. He was like, all right, never mind. Well, that's it. Which is finally like, hell, I'm going to be fat. I'm just going to have heartburn.

I'll do Prilosec. That's what I'm going to do. I respect the hell out of that. I love that move. That's great. Speaking of people coming to call in, you got a Monopoly game, man. Yeah, that's pretty cool, huh? How about that?

How about that? I can't even imagine. As a child, your wildest dreams. You want to become a movie star. You want to become rich. You want to become this. Even the child with the highest dreams in the world wouldn't even say, wouldn't consider saying

i want a monopoly game named after me or a monopoly themed after me i am two decisions from drywall and i mean that's i'm like the luckiest guy in the world no i i never thought but they you know they approached me and they were like all right could you put your spin on because like honest to god where I came from, we had a dirt yard. Our landscaping was monkey grass and a concrete block on the side of the driveway. And so, but when I played Monopoly, I didn't know what park place was. I'm like, what the hell is that?

And so when they approached me about it, I'm like, all right, so how would, if the redneck version of this, you would start at like a yard sale and work your way around to the park place was actually a water park. I mean, that's got to be heaven right there. And so, and so to go back and just redo the properties and to go through the cards and make them, you know. What are some of the pieces that you can be? Well, yeah, because we certainly wouldn't be a top hat. So one of them, I think, is a chainsaw. One of them is a baseball cap.

One of them, it's the old Monopoly car. Remember the car? Yeah. But it's up on blocks. It has no tires. It's just up on blocks. Very clever. I think one of them is a mailbox made out of auto parts.

You know, so, I mean, it's still Monopoly. It's just fun. That's incredible. When I saw that, I was like, wow. I mean, that's a legendary stuff. That's kind of weird. That's kind of weird to see the Monopoly game in your picture on the front of it. I'm like, oh, that's crazy.

Hey, you got the mustache, man, the Monopoly man. It suits you well yeah right uh so the new show is i mean you've been doing hosting for a while uh who's more than a fifth grader and whatnot do you find hosting to kind of be like second nature for you is that is it even like hard for you or you just like i'm gonna go out there and talk to people be personable and it's like easy money. You know what? Like I was, I balked at doing fifth grader when Mark Burnett first called to ask me about it. He said, would you host a game show? And I'm like, no, hell no. That's cheesy. I would only do that. And I said, what's the premise?

And he said, adults taking an elementary school test for a shot at a million bucks. And I just started laughing. I said, that's brilliant. Because everybody's going to, everybody's going to think they could do it. It just sounds easy. And I just found really quickly that I could still be funny. I mean, I could still mess with people. Because even if you were getting the questions right,

they were second grade questions. And people get all puffed up. I'm like, dude, eight-year-olds answer this. Shut up. But I really liked it. I like people. And so I found real early, I didn't need a prompter. I didn't, I'm like, tell me the rules of the game. Tell me the person's name, where they're from, what they like to do. And let's go. And we would literally,

we would film eight shows a day. I would just, I mean, just. We'd do 170 of them in five weeks. Wow. Just knock them out. Is that like a producer's dream, or are the cast and crew like, Jesus Christ, Jeff, we've got to do seven and eight in a day? I can imagine it's great to get it done, but also that sounds like a bear. Well, yeah, it's probably both.

But I was living in Atlanta, but I'd fly out to la to do the show so my idea was i want to get it done i want to go back home right and it's funny because when i talked to other people that were doing game shows they're like no dude we do three a day or we do you know the most we've ever done is five and we were cranking out eight a day. When you're out there in LA for that, are you staying in a hotel or are you getting like an Airbnb or you rent in a house? I've done both.

It's a long time in a hotel. It's a long time. In fact, when I did it in a hotel after like the first week, cause every night I was coming back, like ordering room service. I'm like, give me all I want is one of those little like college dorm refrigerators. And I would get like a jug of milk and a bowl of cereal, you know? And I'm like,

I'm totally happy. I got a bowl of cereal. I sit here and watch sports center and, you know, go back and do it again tomorrow. So what's your go-to cereal? All time? Yeah.

I mean, or like today? No. Well, let's go both. Yeah. Okay. All time, it'll probably surprise you. It's life. My grandparents always had life cereal,

and I just, I can go to life, but Honey Nut Cheerios anytime, anywhere. That's a staple. What about you? I go Cinnamon Toast Crunch. And then recently- You're showing your age a little bit on that because like that wasn't a childhood cereal of mine,

but like everybody that's a little bit younger than me always has Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I feel like Cinnamon Toast Crunch is almost like, I think it's like life, but a little better. But that's probably just because it's newer and was my generation. But I feel like they're kind of cut from the same cloth. Sure. Are you a cereal guy? Oh, come on.

Am I a cereal guy? Are you kidding me? I go Frosted Flakes and Apple Jacks. And I like to mix them. God, Apple Jacks. I haven't had Apple Jacks. And I like to mix them. God, Apple Jacks. I haven't had Apple Jacks. I have to tell you a funny story. So years ago, me and five buddies, we went up just 30 miles south of the Arctic Circle.

And it was like five airline flights and two float planes. And we get out there and they drop us off in this lean-to for like nine days. And we're bow hunting caribou which we didn't know live up in the mountains and you never saw them and it was just like a futile thing but we had we but we had no electricity no radio no tv you did this for fun this was planned you wanted to do this okay all. Okay. All right. This was fun. And so we would have discussions at night, just like cereals. And we would say out of five of us, all right, everybody, this is the only five cereals that we all have for the rest of our life. And everybody got to pick one.

We would get in screaming matches. Yep. Or it was candy bars. Or it was, you know, and I remember coming to blows over Kit Kat Kit Kat bar. I think we've literally had this fight.

He's a big Kit Kat guy and I say no. Huge Kit Kat guy. I wouldn't hit a dog in the ass with a Kit Kat bar. What's the problem with Kit Kat? It's chocolate. It's got the crisp. It's got the bars. It's perfect. There's like nothing. It's air.

It doesn't satisfy. It's too much wafer. I don't like a wafer. It doesn't satisfy. What's your chocolate bar then? Well, there's a little bit of a caveat with it. This means it's going to be a bad one.

You're setting me up for a bad choice it's not bad but but there's a huge difference if you find a fresh one there's a huge difference between a fresh one and an older one but a uh baby ruth that's fresh is awesome i i've been a butter and a fresh butterfinger is the bomb. But an old one is not as good. You're going to lose me on Butterfinger, but a Baby Ruth, I used to get down with the Baby Ruth big time. Terrible choices, gentlemen. I haven't had one in a while. In fact, I might go buy one

as soon as we're done with this show. This is one of the most fun things, and I don't mean to be sexist about it, but I just think it's more guys that do it than girls. This is one of the most fun things about being a guy. It's like sitting around a fire or just sitting on a stupid podcast and just arguing about the dumbest things, but being so

incredibly passionate about it. We made a career off it. That's what we do. In passion speeches with things you can't get really right or wrong, but we certainly act that way. Well, and then you're sitting there putting down my butterfinger and you're throwing Kit Kat out there. What else besides Kit Kat would you throw out there?

Twix? No, too much weight for that. Oh, for God's sake. Are you serious? You're out on Twix, too? When I eat a Twix, I eat the top. I just eat the caramel off the top, and I throw the cookie away.

No, the cookie's great. No, you guys are crazy. Oh, my God. Where do you stand? What I thought was my controversial take, because I've never met anybody who disagrees on Kit Kat and Twix. I like Milky Ways. People usually get on me for that. No, my brother likes – my brother picked Milky Way for the top five, and we just about came to blows over that.

There's nothing there. It's just fluff in the middle. I want like a Snickers. Yeah, see, I don't like the peanut. I don't want peanuts in my chocolate. I'll take anything frozen, by the way. You put any kind of... The ice cream one, or you just put it in the freezer?

Put it in the freezer. Put a Milky Way in the freezer. Put a Snicks in the freezer. And you break that thing off in your mouth, and you chew it, and you absolutely destroy your teeth while you're doing it yeah oh yeah yeah yeah or if you don't have a freezer even the refrigerator yeah i mean even like right now i got a refrigerator full of almond m&ms that that's it's just nice it just gives them that extra little i like this Jeff. I got a bag of Sour Patch Kids in the freezer right now. Ooh.

My dentist loves me. How old are you? My dentist is like, oh, yeah, that's a great idea. Great idea. Definitely do that. Anyway, want to book your next appointment? That's great stuff. Let's take the sugariest thing in the world and we'll also make it hard as a rock.

Perfect for your teeth. So you can break your teeth on it. But you're right. Women never have these arguments. And guys will get, I mean, we'll get mad. Absolutely. Sandwiches, doesn't matter. Your top three drive-thru orders, doesn't matter. I've your, your top three drive through orders. Doesn't matter.

I've lost friends over discussions about favorite movies. People I haven't talked to in a decade because they didn't like fast and furious. And rightfully so. So rightfully so. All right, Jeff. Well,

as always, it's awesome. The new show, what's it worth is on a and E August 4th. You can check it out. And it sounds like you guys really rolled with August 4th. You can check it out. And it sounds like you guys really rolled with the coronavirus punches, so making the best out of it.

It sounds pretty cool. We're looking forward to it. Yeah, man. Thank you. It actually worked. You know, so many of these virtual things are awkward, but this thing worked. It was really fun. All right.

Well, go eat some bad candy bars. I'm going to go get a Kit Kat. Talk to you. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, we're going to do it next time. It's going to be chips and fast food. Done. Done.

Well, I'm going to hold you to that. All right. See you, Jeff. See you guys. Thank you. I've got some issues that nobody can see. And all of these emotions are pouring out of me. I bring them to the life of you

It's only like this is The soundtrack to my life The soundtrack to my life To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life

To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.