KFC Radio - Our Thoughts on Hank’s 60 Minute Stand Up Routine - Full Episode

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

Smash Your Hunger With KFC’s Smash’d Potato Bowls For Only $3.49! https://www.kfc.com/menu/special-offers/smashd-potato-bowl Timecodes: 0:00 Start 03:19 Knights vs Oilers 07:10 Hank's Standup routine 26:57 Security Guard Mike got in the mix with Dave 31:33 Nate's hilarious tweet 33:19 Why Nate has gotten better at content / caring less 42:26 Taylor is potentially going to sue the guy who tracks her plane 53:37 Do we just do this forever? 58:43 Taylor Swift suing plane guy cont. 01:03:26 Meta is worried how much Mark Zuckerberg is getting into MMA 01:05:32 The difference between KFC and Feits 01:14:39 Video Voicemails ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ KFC: Smash Your Hunger With KFC’s Smash’d Potato Bowls For Only $3.49! https://www.kfc.com/menu/special-offers/smashd-potato-bowl Nascar: Tune-In to watch the DAYTONA 500 this Sunday, February 18th at 2:30 PM ET on FOX! Solo Stove: Head over to https://solostove.com and use promo code BARSTOOL20 to get $20 bucks off $199 or more, and ditch the smoke for good. Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code KFC at https://www.manscaped.com/! BodyArmor: Available in stores nationwide but you can head on over to the BODYARMOR Store on Amazon & get yours today! ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. They quote Sweden Inkel's, Some are addicted to stealing glitter. It's another edition of KFC Radio coming to you live from Las Vegas. It's me, Feidelberg, and a whole bunch of smashed potato bowls. Can you sing this song you were singing before? It's really good. Smashed potato, smashed potato, smashed potato bowl.

Smashed potato, smashed potato, smashed potato bowl. Got the bacon and the cheese in my smashed potato bowl. Got the fries and the taters in my smash potato bowl got the cheese sauce i got the cheese sauce i got the cheese sauce in my smash potato bowl got the smash potato smash potato that was good rapping right there i'm not the guy you want to say is doing you're doing a good job rapping but yeah that's a hell of a job rapping dude. That was my mic check earlier. I was like, I'm kind of feeling it right now. That was real good stuff. The smashed potato bowl,

obviously it's an ad read, but also this isn't a lie. I finished it before the ad read started. This is the only meal I've had in Las Vegas. I know. I don't eat breakfast because I'll just eat the smashed potato bowl at the house. And then I eat it all day.

Dude, I'm not kidding you. No, I'm sorry. That's a lie. I did have... We've been here since Sunday afternoon. It's now Wednesday afternoon. The only thing I've eaten that isn't smashed potato ball is I had a piece of lasagna. I don't know.

I've had a few bananas, too. But I mean like meals. Where'd you get the lasagna? In the casino. Ugh. Casino lasagna. Why you didn't get that when you get a smashed bananas, too. But I mean like meals. Where'd you get a lasagna? In the casino. Ugh. Casino lasagna. Why didn't you get that one? You can get a smashed potato ball.

It tastes exactly like a casino lasagna. I don't think what people realize, the smashed potato ball, first of all, you can get it with the chicken, so it's actually like a full-blown meal if you need it to be. It's $3.49.

When you add chicken, probably a little bit more. But, I just told you it's got the bacon and the fries. It has shredded cheese sprinkled on it, but then cheese sauce. The cheese sauce is where everything gets all kind of gooey and comes together. Go get yourself a smashed potato, smashed potato, smashed potato bowl.

Well, they are $3.49 for a whole meal. Oh, what? No, I mean, this is like a whole meal, bro. I thought it was $3. was 349 3.49 you get the maybe maybe like a little bit more with the chicken but 3.49 for everything you need in a meal if you are if you're a college kid if you're trying to save money you have family on a budget go get your smashed potatoes mashed potatoes mashed. $3.49 for everything you need, particularly if you like the potatoes. Oh, and by the way, we're just

so fly. Yeah. I forgot to address the fact that you're wearing a KFC radio, KFC bucket hat. This is actually a very cool shirt. That shirt is cool. The original KFC with the original Colonel Sanders, I think, at least. I don't know. As far as I know, that could be an Instagram filter that they took yesterday.

It's just a sepia. But it looks like it. It's Jim Gaffigan in the sepia tone. Jim Gaffigan, if you're watching this, you should be the Colonel Sanders. I think he is. You know how they always rotate the Colonel? I think he's been it before. You're right. Okay, yeah.

Smash your hunger with the next level comfort food from KFC's Smash Potato Bowls. Filled to the brim with potatoey, cheesy, bacon-y delicious goodness for only $3.49. Only available at KFC's smashed potato bowls, filled to the brim with potatoey, cheesy, bacon-y, delicious goodness for only $3.49. Only available at KFC. So Vegas. Vegas, baby. Last night we did the Vegas Knights. One of the most electric in-person live sporting events. I'd heard that a lot, obviously.

It lived up to it. It was pretty crazy. For a Tuesday night regular season game, granted you're talking defending cup champs versus Connor McDavid, but it's middle of the season, regular season game. They do a full-blown playoff intro, which I almost have to imagine if you're a player uh an employee a season ticket holder at some point you must just be like i'm just here for the game yeah yeah like i'll show

up a little bit late because i don't need the fucking knights fighting on the ice yeah i don't need the broadway show or the it's literally bro that's exactly what it is it's a it's like a 20 minute broadway show before the game starts which you know when you see it for the first time it's incredible that night the the night yeah helmet that comes down while the other guys are like ice fighting uh the the the jumbotron video is funny where they're that guy's practicing in the woods yeah yeah it's a little bit like who the fuck made this it's but it is for sure a little silly, but you buy into it. You're like, this is what we're doing. You know what?

If we were gay, we would call it camp. This is hockey's version of camp. So yeah, you buy into it and you like it. We had, I think, the only person on the planet Earth that could go toe-to-toe with Frank the Tank behind us last night. I mean, he was right in me and Jackie's ear. Oh, see, that was crazy. I thought he was right in my ear. Oh, really?

I think he was directly behind. There were probably people on the other side of the fucking arena who thought they were behind this guy. He was so loud, had to be drunk. I don't think he was. I thought that at first, and the more I listened, I thought he was stone sober. But he was cheering I thought that at first, and the more I listened, I thought he was stone sober. But he was cheering for everybody that touched the puck.

I was like, oh, we got a diehard Vegas. Because I was very intrigued by the whole idea of a Vegas team. And I was like, all these people here are just Vegas locals coming to see their team. And then I was like, this guy, he's just a Knights fan. But then he was cheering at the wrong times and didn't know what was going on in the game. And I was like, do you know what the fuck? And it was just, it was like a boat horn. It was so loud, dude.

I don't know if I notice it more in hockey because it's the game I know the best. Or if it's because hockey just attracts fans like this. But I notice a lot of people who get into hockey late in life and are all the way in lately. Someone who starts to like hockey at 35 likes hockey more than I like hockey. And I love hockey. Because they've just discovered it. It's like I've been married hockey for 30 years. You just started fucking hockey.

I stopped fucking hockey 10 years ago, but I still love her. It's like they're always just screaming. Hockey is a pretty good sport. I guess any sport. You can just scream at all times. There's something to scream about at every single time. Walking out, I was like, that dude definitely started liking hockey times there's something to scream about at every single time and uh it was i'd like walking out i was like that dude definitely started hockey liking hockey at the latest or earliest when

the knights got here and and i and i appreciate i'm not like fuck that you guys that's cool like that's awesome that he's that passionate i prefer if you were a few rows behind me i just don't want you in my fucking eardrum but But we say all this to explain that we had to do a little double dip. We had to go to the game. Shout out to Game Time. Hooked us up with the tickets. But it overlapped with Hank's performance at the comedy club. If you're not aware, Hank, on part of my take, came in last place for either the Fantasy League or gambling, whatever it was.

And the punishment was you had to do an hour-long stand-up set. And last night was the night. So we were at The Space off the Strip in Vegas. And the guy who does memes for Pardon My Take social media had to do an opening 15 minutes. And then Hank was on for an hour and i would say if you gave people the choice like you failed you know you came in last place in fantasy sports you can either like do an hour of stand-up comedy or like everyone in the league gets to punch you in the face once i

think most people would take the punch see i would i would take i don't think that you're not a normal person dude but but also like even like and i obviously can't put myself in hank's body like i think there's a part of him that like well so okay and this is this is what i really want to get into i'm looking dead into the camera at you local las vegas kfc radio listeners who might have been at that show last night if you were at that show last night you need you need to go to church and go to confession you need to write a handwritten letter apologizing to hank you need to atone for your sins because you were the worst fucking crowd in the history of fake stand-up shows ever. This crowd sat there in dead silence, like, waiting for him to break out, like, a real, you know, meticulous comedy routine.

Like, you know what this is. It's a fantasy football punishment. It's funny that we're gonna watch the guy squirm on stage and what you do is you fucking laugh and you reply and you give him some energy and some shit to work with you dickheads they just sat there it was it was uh we were a little late because we were at the game and like i walked in i now i i've seen this i'd seen well i've seen 20 minutes of it in Chicago. And Hank did really well. And the crowd responded well.

And it was a good crowd. And it was fun. Vegas, what the fuck? It was like everyone got barked into it. They thought they were going to a real comedy show. They didn't even know who Hank was or something. And they were like, what's happening here? It was a bunch of PMT fans.

It sold out in 10 minutes. You obviously knew what it was. People watch it on pay-per-view. Sold out right away. They know all the references. They're shouting out the inside jokes. No, they didn't know all the references. Remember when he's like, you guys remember Larry?

There's a smattering of like, yeah. What was the problem, bro? We're getting old. Larry's like four years old. No, he's not, bro. When you think about it, it's getting there. Maybe first Larry was older, but they did Larry

for a few years. I guess the whole thing was that Larry lived for four years, but the beginning of Larry 2 was probably late 2015. No. I saw Larry.

But when did it... Yeah, you gotta talk into the mic. I'm just saying, you could probably be like a diehard listener of PMT that you listen every day for the last couple years years and you missed fucking Larry.

But if you're buying a ticket to go see Hank, you're a fucking diehard PMT fan. And you should know all the references. Or if you don't, you just fucking cheer and yell. It drives me nuts. We saw it on the road for our show where it's like a crowd if a crowd just has a couple people who are a little bit drunk and a little bit fun and they just you know they whoop and they holler and they shout shit the rest of the crowd's like oh okay cool like let's do this and if you get a crowd and maybe it's a barstool audience thing i don't know that maybe that they just didn't have those people in the audience to be like yeah fuck you hank like let's go hank whatever and it was

just like they just sat there and we're kind like uh huh I was waiting for him to go but yeah it's bad we know it's fucking bad that's the point I was waiting for him to go full heel on it well I think we missed a little bit of that

because PFT did tell us that he said fuck you guys laugh well that's what I mean he did we caught a couple of them he was like

you guys are so weird why are you here yeah like I was like go all the way fuck these people burn it down that should have been it he should have gone down the road i've been like fuck you fuck you fuck you you're cool fuck you i'm out uh he he i thought you know for

an hour people do not understand how long an hour of solo work is like you know it's that's a lot for someone who does and then you get up there you talk faster and you forget what you're gonna do so you really have to almost have like an hour and a half of material uh but i've never felt so bad in my life so as hank gets on stage i guess not even before hank got on stage dave got up and left yes Yes, I believe so. So Dave did not like any of this Hank stand-up thing. He's been chirping about it for a while now, saying that Hank is not doing his job because he's too busy worried about his stand-up act.

I would say that based on how that went last night, I don't think Hank spent all that much time on his stand-up act, so I don't know if that's true, but that is definitely Dave's perception of the matter. When asked when asked like how do you think hank's gonna do tonight he was like i i think he's gonna bomb but i just hope he gets gets it over with so he can get back to working for the company and not pretending to be a star so he was already like i don't really give a fuck about this and then i uh we missed it but i understand that pmt memes got up there and bombed on a level that was like almost unimaginable yeah

like not even a funny bomb or like uh you know we'll remember this just like terrible and dave just got up and left and hank's like first thing on stage was like dave portnoy's here and he was like walking out the door as he said it and then goes uh we just we just saw like the video we played kfc's in the building and i wasn't there and i can't tell you how fucking guilty i felt about that the minute i found out until right now and probably for the next week or so i feel so fucking bad that he went back to back days here kfc's here nope nope oh my god that's brutal and i was texting him ahead of time be like you're gonna kill tonight don't worry and then we we had to juggle both things so i was like all right we'll get there in time and i i never in a million

years thought he would shout me out you know what i mean so it's like the one time you did was like the five minutes i wasn't there i feel fucking terrible about that i was like i'm so it's like the one time you did was like the five minutes i wasn't there i feel fucking terrible about that i was like i'm so sorry dude i think he was like so mad at everybody else he was like i don't fucking care whatever he also said r.i.p kobe teeth instead of toby keith which is still very funny when you you know with everything that happened that's funny um i just think like kobe's teeth is a you know kobe died in a horrible crash and i just think of kobe's teeth is like that made me laugh kobe teeth the first thing i thought when i heard that was you know kobe being identified by his teens. Oh my God.

That's what popped into my head. So yeah, Vegas is an absolute, out of all of the things that Barstool has done, this is the biggest logistical shit show and nightmare we've ever experienced and i'm so happy dave just like stepped in and and made some sense of the whole thing when i found out that we're doing our podcast here but breeze podcast is at the hotel but the rundown is here but the interview is there and everything's half an hour away i was like this is fucking insanity just move the rundown to the house just move every move the rundown to the hotel we have a studio

set up in a suite and i don't have the the power to do that but dave just got the security guys to all move some couches so ashley furniture is in the hotel and that's nice we're doing the fucking rundown so we don't have to drive a half hour every day for no goddamn reason i mean this was this one was nuts this was like there's three different places there's they're all a half hour away but everybody like if everyone's on the same at the same place it's fine but everybody's doing something different everywhere and you got to do the on location interviews we're in the car for like three hours a day it's i don't understand how uh how we're 10 superbowls in and it's still i know it's not an easy thing to plan so i'm sure the people doing are like fuck you you try to find a house and a hotel and all this shit but it it really sometimes i'm like does anybody think about things at all and once again uh as

always uh just a just a just a blatant amount of disrespect on my name from barstool once again i get a text from dave yesterday and he says are you so here this was great actually dave texted me are you not doing barstool radio and i was like is this motherfucker kidding me does he did he expect me and john to do barstool radio this week because that was originally the idea like like the yak is they're doing their show we'll do barstool radio and then there's the live show and i was like he no no no not after all this canceling like three different versions of the show no no way he expected this and he didn't what he meant was what we're calling barstool live which is me dan and dave at the the bar so he says i said do you mean the thing at the bar because yes i'm doing that i said is there some sort of problem with that and he goes you tell me and he sends me the promotional posters for the week and it's just dan and dave's big fucking heads just like

dan and dave will be at the bar today for radio and so it's actually dave looking out for me because it's always the the logistical people who fuck me leave me off of the list don't put me in the upfronts don't include me in the meeting whatever. Don't include me in the meeting. Whatever it is. And Dave's the one who was always like, stop fucking doing this. And they just keep doing it every year. So he got me thrown onto the poster. But then there's the added wrinkle. I thought that radio was all week long.

I thought it was a five-day-a-week thing. Because we were told we were going to come Wednesday through Friday but then KFC became our sponsor and they're like you need to be there the whole week so I figured other people were going to be here all week not just us so I was supposed to go home on Friday

so I asked Dave can I leave on Friday and you guys just handle it I figured one day out of five no big deal but it turns out now that's one day out of three and then I found out that our interview with Bert and Tom tomorrow are right in the middle of the Barstool Live so now I'm only gonna do it one day and he made a big stink to put me back on the poster. So I moved my flights that I'm doing radio on Friday. Okay, nice. I was like, I wouldn't have said that to you.

I think that's a smart. I had a whole text written out to Dave. Everything I just described, I tried to put it into a text to Dave. So I was like, hey, man. So I got super confused with the locations, the hotel, the house, and the time, plus the time difference. I also thought we were going to be here five days. So that's why I asked if I could leave on Friday because it would only be missing one day of radio out of five, not three. Typing all this out.

So that's why I asked if I could leave early, but now I feel bad. I also just found out that Tom and Bert are – the box is just getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And I see an important way at the top and then this and i went delete and i called kyle and i said give me the red eye home i'll do it i was like there is no world where set pressing send on this text message is worth you know six more hours of my life yeah i mean it is gonna suck so much dick i'm gonna land i have to go right from the airport pick up my kids and just go into like dad weekend i had like a whole family thing planned fucking shoot me but i was like i it was like which which uh which person

who i'm like you know terrified of the most do I need to figure out you know like do I is Dave gonna be mad at me is is my ex-wife gonna be mad at me who do I like who and and I just middled it and fucked myself so uh yeah that was that was not especially after if he like chewed somebody out for the poster and then I was really only there for one day it's like fuck I can't do that so I mean I could have had to go home to like a funeral or something super important and i probably was going to change that flight no matter what so uh so yeah we're here uh but it is uh it is the lightest like workload we've had at one of these in a while i mean you did out of i say light workload and then i realized like we tried to add

something else into the mix and we were like, we're not going to be able to do it. Yeah. But it's light for us. Usually we have like a serious show, two podcasts, five interviews, live radio all week long.

And this is just like a couple interviews, couple podcasts. You're doing out of border. Uh, I'm doing radio a couple of days. I'm like, it's just borderline a real vacation. It's kind of nice.

Dude, we did Out of Orders today. What do you think the desert's made out of? Sand? Wrong! Yes! It's like clay, right? No, it's fucking rock and dirt. Yeah?

Really? Just like concrete? It's mostly rocks. I knew it wasn't going to be like a beach sand. I thought it was going to be a beach sand. No, you didn't. Really? Yeah.

Like we got there to the location today. Like the Sahara Desert is kind of like that. But like when you see like the hangover, they're not like walking in like the sand sand where you're like falling in. I guess it wasn't close enough like when we got to that location today i was like well it doesn't make anything like it that's like no one's gonna believe we're lost in the desert this is fucking a bunch of dirt and rocks i thought it was like kind of like a red clay almost it's just dirt and guess what can you

tell if i'm dirty right now no are you it's all over your face i was rolling around in that shit but it doesn't fucking stick to you i would when you walked in this door you wanted to stick to you yeah i'm i'm i'm man of honor yeah oh god i got it yeah i tell you what, I feel dirty as hell. So the shot wasn't worth it, but you feel like shit. Great. You are truly a man of the craft. It was like, it just is the desert. And then you know what we remembered about 30 seconds into shooting?

Remember about a little something called snakes. And buddy, there are snake holes everywhere All over the desert And you're supposed to be crawling in the dirt and shit No I was just doing that before to get dirty We were just kind of walking I was just rolling in the dirt before the cameras were rolling You know how you do

Fucking insane But the Particularly when Nick and I went on that walk For like a different shot, bro, it was snake holes everywhere. And those things – I feel like there's snakes that kill you too, right? We're talking like American Southwest sort of shit where it's like

these are not your average northeast snakes. I was like – Like snake snakes. Before the shoot, I was like, hey, as long as it gets bit, everyone remember, you got to suck it. Yo, I almost wish somebody got bit because knowing you guys you'd be like all right now we're doing a skit about sucking out venom yeah yeah like the best thing that can happen right now is someone's like ass cheek gets bit and and feidelberg is sucking Nick's butt.

I didn't even see Nick go, do it, do it. Come on, I'm going to die. Do it. No, we were laughing about the idea that I get bit and everyone just starts sucking each other off. Dude, I got bit on the hand. What are you doing?

I got to suck your dick. Nick, stop sucking Kyle's dick. I got bit on the ankle. That would be fucking great, man. But, yeah, it's very disappointing.

Did it look, did it look like the hangover? It looks exactly like a desert, bro. What? It looks exactly like a desert.

Yeah, yeah. It's just, I didn't realize, I'd never seen it up close. Right, right. That I can understand. You think of like sand and cactus. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, there's bushes and there's cacti. I'll tell you, we got Vegas all fucked up. We got it all wrong. We didn't know the weather. We don't know what the deserts are like. We were going to bed in the middle of the day. It's all fucked up. When we were shooting, Pat Pat One of the security guys

Had driven us out there And There was a Walking path So he was kind of Hanging out on the walking path Talking to people walking by And

He was like Yeah I've been talking To a couple of locals Walking by They say It's 120 out here The guys will walk At 5am

It's still 110 degrees They say When? In the I guess only in the summer so it's just like a temperate this is like three months of torture and then this huh and the rain the rain's different though right the rain i mean it rained for three straight days in vegas the rain is what we call a pineapple express kevin okay uh don't know someone just said it's in the elevator

today okay i thought pineapple express was just the name weed it is no i think that because i think it's a colorado snowstorm this woman was from colorado talking in the elevator and uh google is it is she said it's a colorado snowstorm and uh this is the rain it's not cold enough here for the snow it's that that storm front but it's just warm enough yeah it turns to rain yeah and and it's the pineapple was it i bet but it's just warm enough that it turns to rain. Yeah. And it's the pineapple. I bet you it's a storm front that's shaped like a pineapple that comes through quickly. Pineapple Express. Starts off in Hawaii. Starts off in Hawaii.

Hawaii. There it is. But again, it goes up to Colorado? I'm sure that's just the whole area. Yeah. Interesting. Interesting. Speaking of the security guys, I fucking love them all, man.

They're all so awesome. The most iconic race in motorsports, the Great American Race, Daytona 500 is coming. We're going down there. It's my first time ever down to Daytona. You too? Yes. First time now. KFC Radio's first time ever down at the Great American Race.

500 miles, 200 laps on a two and a half mile track. We're going to get completely immersed in Daytona culture. So you'll see me, John, Jackie, and Pavs down there at Daytona, along with Large and Spider, Frankie Borelli, that little creep is coming. We got a hodgepodge crew coming together on February 18th on Fox. If you're not going to be down there sucks for you but you can watch it on tv on fox 2 30 p.m eastern time the rock is the grand marshal you know nothing more american than dwayne the rock johnson and nascar uh the pre-show race is

featuring pitbull oh my god boom boom boom i'm in front row with that dale we will i mean we're gonna go to that right hell yeah uh and then there's of course the star drivers chase elliott ryan blaney denny hamlin ross chastain bubble wallace uh but man the rock pitbull and nascar at daytona let's go uh the daytona 500 the most iconic race in sports is here so you you can watch on only on Fox, February 18th, 2.30 p.m. Eastern time. We have a security team of all retired NYPD cops who are all retired NYPD cops. I mean, the accents, the size, they're all like Irish and Italian. They're all built exactly how you'd expect they're all doing real security work like we're all just dumb dickheads but they are like at like

everywhere we go they're like scouting it out and making sure everything's like safe because honestly i remember like seven superbowls ago we were in houston and we uh it was it was the uh comedy central one and there was some question about like do we have security at the bar and i remember me and dave being like what the fuck who needs security like who fucking cares like we're just i don't think people know who we are you know but now i mean stakes have changed i i don't ever feel unsafe ever or anything like that but dave's very, very rich. And we have a lot of haters.

And Dave particularly, you know, getting involved in, like, politics and all that shit. Like, you never know. And so those guys are, like, always kind of, like, scanning the crowd and making sure everything's good. But what they end up really doing is just driving us everywhere while we're a bunch of fucking clowns. You know what I mean? So, like, I was getting around. I always feel bad making it because it's almost like you're domesticating a tiger. Well, yes.

Where it's like, Tiger, you're a guard dog now. Yes. It's like, dude, you live in the suburbs. So I rode solo, and we were talking about it, and I was like, you know, I feel bad making you like a chauffeur or whatever. And he's like, dude, I'm retired now. I worked with the gang unit in the Bronx. Like, this is good.

I'm fucking happy with this. I'm happy to watch you two idiots do whatever the fuck it is. Yeah. Yeah. Although when I got in the car with Pat, I was like, you hear it because he was talking about temperatures and all that stuff. I was like, you hear anything about snakes? He's like, I hadn't thought about snakes. That's what I'm saying, dude.

You drop a bunch of guys from Staten Island who work the gang. You're in the Bronx. They can handle a lot of shit. Snakes ain't one of them. Snakes in a Vegas desert is going to scare the fuck out of those guys. But did you see security Mike enter the Terror Dometerodome with a portnoy i i saw some of it yeah uh i don't care you know so mike is like the head of of the unit i think of it as like they were i mean they get they were in real life but now i think of them as like that baltimore

gun unit what's it called in uh the one with john bernthal yeah what was that called um it was like their version of seal team six they had like a name to it right yeah i forget it's like the wire and all that yeah so i think those guys like that's them you know what i mean how about that show they are they they are that gang unit for barstool right yeah also a notoriously bad game yeah yeah yeah but also like the cool you know what i mean they're terrible and they were like corrupt and all that all those guys who went to jail they're like them you know those are the guys doing what they gotta do to get the job done but uh you know so they've like seen it all done it all uh but when mike was in the blender for a minute with with dave i was i was like welcome to

the pterodome man i don't care i don't care who you are if you're you're part of this operation you don't want to step in that shit so dave walked into the house and mike shushed him him now i love mike and i think he actually would be incredible in content if he wasn't if he wasn't running the whole security operation and he was on camera a little more i think people would love him i think they already do from the little bits they see him as is but he could have his own goddamn show but he's built for content because he started to spin it his own way. He was like, I was just telling you that they were live. And I was like, did you shush or not shush? I got to talk to Mike because if you say to someone, yo, they're live,

that's like a, hey, make sure, hot Mike. But if you put the shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, then you're treating someone like a baby. And if you do that to Dave, that's going to be for sure. He's going to call you out on that every single time. So watching Mike be like, I can't win. I can't win, man. It's like, yeah, it doesn't matter who you are.

It doesn't matter if you're fucking Nate or the head of the fucking gang unit of the NYPD for 30 years. It's Dave's fucking world. Speaking of Nate, he's had such a good tweet. He's the funniest man. Nate's been such a good tweet. He's the funniest man. Nate's been on a great kick. He really has. If you forget about, Nate is like, who was like an athlete who had like a, it's not even like a resurgence.

Is there an athlete who was like terrible from 20 to 30 and then was like great from 30 to 40? Because that's what Nate is. Yeah. Huh? Gino is. Yeah. Huh? Geno Smith. Yes, Nate is the Geno Smith of Barstool. He really is. He really is.

Like he was trying and people were like, you're just not good at this. You're just not a quarterback. And then found his way, never gave up, worked on it. It's all about the right organization. It really is. Yeah, I guess so. So Ian Rappaport tweeted some

significant packers news the team lays out their plans to replace ceo mark murphy who by rule must formally retire in july 2025 when he turned 70 by the way my grandfather was a judge uh he had to retire at 65 too which is i think good pretty fair right so nate quote tweets that and goes not to get political but it's hilarious that the Green Bay Packers have an age restriction to their CEO. But we have two 94, 95 year old goblins running for president. Funny stuff. Someone replies to him. It's amazing that rich old people don't want to retire.

I'll never understand. Rich old CEO is still working. Yeah. He quotes. It goes. Some are addicted to stealing glitter after you have endless money the only thing that makes some people happy is getting out the trouble. Nate, I wonder what... I think there's a few things going on with Nate. I think one, it takes...

I think when you're in the content game, you don't realize... I guess I'm speaking for myself, but I would imagine that it is for a lot of people too. It takes a long time to get actually comfortable like in your own skin yes like actually what you know when you're we'd say it about with content and feedback comments and feedback i don't read that it's like yes you do uh it's and then you do read it you say it doesn't bother you yes it does and then when you actually get to the point where

you're like i've been doing this long enough where I know I'm not going anywhere. I know I'm not going to get fired or lose all my following. I know that I'm not great. I know that I'm not bad. I'm just here. And so I don't get scared. I don't get excited. I don't get worried.

It's just nothing now. This is the job. And that can take like 10 years. Speaking for me, I would truly say in the last six months. Right. Like very recently yeah the like the i don't know what it was well i think for you out of order did wonders out of order for sure having something that you know you really are good at and and it's working and even like when kfc is working radio is working but it's like just a lot of

polarizing and shit so it's like a grind out of order is like probably i would imagine fun i i that but i i truly think it's it's i stopped reading the internet so much yeah and and not just comments not just stuff like that but like i i there was always stuff with like internet not just it's like don't we know how the internet cycles work where it's just like okay i've done this 10 times and i'll do it another 10, another 20, another million. But it's honestly knowing less has been better for me. You know, everyone, everything is better forever. Because I think, I always think a part of our job is knowing everything.

But I don't mean like the news. I mean like what people are going through, what people I follow think about certain things. Sure, sure, sure. going through what what people i follow think about certain things because you're just like like i'm not actively trying to uh like agree or disagree with people but i'm like you know i was like well this person thinks this and i don't want to upset them and this and that and like i was like balancing a million things in my brain at all times and i just stopped yeah and now i just say my opinion and and i don't know how it goes but i'm more comfortable doing it for me limiting just the amount of access that other people have to me is yeah works because usually you could say you can say till you blew

in the face i don't care like it you do care when something when someone when you put out something and and you're like that was good and the first thing is that sucks it just chips away at your happiness right and then there's a lot of people chipping but like even having gotten off twitter i still see some stuff but there's not just a constant deluge of opinions where it's like now i just post something on instagram i get that thought or that joke or that reference or whatever out so i'm like i did my thing and then there's no like timeline of reaction so it's just like i don't know what people thought about that but i liked it but but even beyond the the feedback because that is the the but i liked it what i for some reason that's something that always stuck out with me and it's always sunny in philadelphia

and i've referenced this before so maybe you guys will remember it when they're doing the butt dance and charlie was just like we just like doing it right charlie's doing it but he's not he can't do it he's not doing it well it's smitty he does it well uh jason's right is just right right and charlie's doing it i can do it but but but but but and jason sudeikis is like charlie here's the thing dude you're not having fun doing it so we're not having fun watching you and like there are times when you're doing shows and stuff like that and you're like and everyone goes through phases of just like i'm i'm in a bad funk i'm into this i'm into whatever but when you're constantly inundated with that stuff it becomes less fun and then it it's and it feedback actually is correct because the product's worse.

Yeah, I mean, but even beyond that, it's more just like, to me, it's just a job now. For instance, we're working on growing our streaming channels and in the past, I would have been worried about not having enough subscribers fast enough, and how is that going to make us look, and then I would give up and all that shit,

and now I'm just like, I know the formula on how to build this and grow this, and I'm just going to do that because it's the job that it's my job. And I don't care whether people are thinking or saying or doing, it's just a project that I want to do. And I know how to do it now. And I'm going to do it. And I, I'm not really like,

I'm looking at the numbers, but in a way of like, it's working good. Let's keep going. Not like, okay, good. We're going to have this many subscribers by this date.

So people, you know what I mean? So I just like, once you just start. Not like, okay, good. We're going to have this many subscribers by this date. So people, you know what I mean? So I just like, once you just start to be like, this is the job. I remember telling people like, if you, if you get inundated with all the bullshit,

you will do worse and you will make less money because of that. So like you reading all these comments and Redditors and stuff will affect the money in your pocket. Is that enough to get you to stop? Like what, what, what can I say to like, to make you realize that like letting you getting bogged down by whatever it is, the, the, the general internet or direct feedback will make you worse at this, which makes

you have less money. So I think once it just became to me, like, this is the job. And, and I think I was very happy to see out of order for you. And it was like, you've got that, I've got this, you're there, we're there. Everything's just like, good, we can just do this, hopefully forever, you know? And this is all to say that, I mean, it's not the same for Nate, but I feel like it was probably even harder for Nate not being as natural as we might have been.

Like, I feel like there's levels to natural on the mic and in front of the camera, you know? Like, a guy like Dave was great on video, like, instantly to natural on the mic and in front of the camera. A guy like Dave was great on video instantly, great on the mic instantly. We'd have to work at it to be a little bit better, and Nate even more so. But whatever it is, whatever he's done, it is pretty electric every time now. He's listing it out, and people are kind of laughing. And I'm like, it's a pretty good resume, man. In the last six months, those five or six things are fucking awesome now i don't know you know it is different doing it every day i think nate is a

very good writer and and like tweeter the difference of having like even a second to like think about your tweet or your joke makes all the difference in the world yeah you know like it's not like we sit around crafting blogs for like days or weeks we sit there working on the perfect tweet we're pretty much like shooting from the hip anyway but when you like literally have a mic or it's live and it's got to be right away instantly it's hard to hang with like a dave you know but now nate can kind of do all that and it's it's like then it's like he's pretty funny you know you might you know think something about his reputation or know him from the past but he's geno smith you You go play the Seahawks and act like Gino Smith is on the jet still, you're going to get fucking rocked.

You're going to lose that football game. So I really hope Nate goes rogue. I mean, I'm itching for Friday because I want to see what he does. Oh, fuck, I'm going to be on a plane. But I'm just saying, is he going to do it? I don't know. Are we going to get a live show? we gonna get a video are we gonna get a uh promo cut are we gonna it's just something's gonna happen right yeah i would hope um the dog

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who tracks her private jets. She's talking about suing him. Good. Yeah. That guy sucks. Well, I don't. I think that stuff's weird, but it is also just legal. He's not doing anything illegal.

Yeah. Yeah. She probably will not win that lawsuit, but it's probably something like I will just bog you down forever and to the point that, like, I don't know, you probably stop. Yeah. Well, I think it's kind of lame. sue her to sue him yeah well but i think it's lame to do what he's doing i think it's lame to do what he's doing i think it's kind of lame to do that i also think everyone who's getting worked up about taylor's private judge shit is lame too like i don't know if it's

true or not because it came from kelly and she's basically north korea propaganda for taylor swift but she said that taylor swift doesn't crack the top 30 of private jet yeah i actually saw that as well if that if that's true and i'm taylor i would i would flip it opposite and i would invite the kid i'd be like open books you can look at all my my charters and everything and tell the world exactly where i stand and then guys like leonardo cabrio gonna be like fuck jay-z and beyonce are i i saw the list uh i don't remember jay-z was definitely ahead of her um i forget where are they going yeah i don't know what is jay-z doing what is what is jay-z do honestly this is this is i like i said earlier this trip i'm doing like less this week which is crazy because they've paid for me to come out here but i'm doing less this week than like i've ever done in my life probably in like the last decade because i'm either at work all

the time and then when i don't have work i'm doing kid stuff but when i'm away i don't have my kids so i'm just like chilling for a chunk of the day but when i run through it like i said like we tried to schedule in one more thing and we couldn't because it was still like all right i got podcasts in the morning i got an interview with her then i'm gonna do her podcast and then i gotta do radio and like that's the day and i'm like light work you know and i'm not trying to say jay-z like doesn't have a job or anything obviously he's like running businesses but like he's not what is he doing on a day-to-day basis when and it's not just jay-z but he's the perfect example i don't know what people do on a day-to-day basis i remember when i was a kid and i would see like adults outside during the day like you fucking deadbeat get a job dude i'd be like five years old like my fucking taxes are paying for you

lollygag around i was a nine-year-old republican that's great uh turns out adults are outside all the time yeah who knew i guess they're allowed to go outside but i mean like when you get on that level i i bet you're just on the phone a lot but i don't know i'm just like when when you're a rapper and you don't make music anymore and it's like he owns title but that's not a real thing and he runs the liquor company but he's not like working in the distillery you know it's like jay-z what do you do he probably masturbates a lot i bet a ton i i so i had a couple moments this week where like i had like a broken brain moment where i was like

feeling guilty about just like sit around i was playing on my switch i was just watching a movie like i'm like i'm watching a movie in the middle of the day i'm like i'm a bum i'm a deadbeat and i was like it's just one week dude like just try to enjoy it if that became my life or it was just like i don't know i have like one point you know jay-z has like 3.5 billion dollars or whatever it's just like i don't know i'm just just chilling bro speaking of billions of dollars did you see the list of black billionaires that complex put out there today no this is crazy it is it's just uh let me see it's definitely my uh it's got to be rappers ballplayers and some business people.

Which I guess is all the billionaires, white or black. Yeah, almost everyone is entertainment. Off the top of my head, and I think of... I mean, if we're counting Tiger. Tiger, LeBron, Jordan, Kanye, Jay-Z, Oprah, Rihanna. Yep, in the album so far. That's probably where I would run out of gas. I'd have to start really thinking.

And then there's probably business, like some record execs, like the guy who owns LaFace Records. Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre. Dr. Dre's one. I just rattled off like 10, though. That was pretty good. Yeah.

Robert Smith, $8 billion. I don't even know who that is. David Stewart, $6 billion. I don't know who that is. Jay-Z, $2.5 billion. I don't know who that is. I do know who that is. Oprah Winfrey, $2.5 billion.

Michael Jordan, $2 billion. Rihanna, $1.4 billion. Tiger Woods, $1.1 billion. LeBron, $1.0 billion. Tyler Perry, $1.0 billion. I don't know if this is the full list. Tyler Perry's a billionaire. Rihanna, 1.4. Tiger Woods, 1.1. LeBron, 1.0. Tyler Perry, 1.0. I don't know if this is a full list. Tyler Perry's a billionaire. This is the list that complexly.

Tyler Perry, I mean. But someone I left off the list is a man named Alex Karp. Okay. No. I saw that tweet and was like what the fuck I mean this man looks like Cosmo Kramer you know you can

see it in the hair a little bit but that is a either an extremely light skinned black gentleman or he has got a lot of other race in him i mean you're alex carp you gotta be like dude leave me off yeah for real no honestly i would i would say like like when you just this is tiger woods and tigers like 10 shades you know tigers consider the light-skinned black guy and he's 10 shades darker than that dude i I think Sean King is darker than Alex Karp.

Dude, the... Mike Tirico. Alex Karp is so white, dude. Yo, he's pale. That's not even like your light-skinned black guy. You're a light-skinned white guy. I look like him. I'm simply covered in dirt. I legit think you and I are darker than him.

You're definitely more red than him, for sure. You have more color in your skin than him it's not black but it's medium red pink bitch yeah dude the it is i i googled him because i was i think his dad is an african-american his mom is obviously not and his mom's jeans ain't no bitch i was gonna say either either his mom's jeans are powerful as fuck or like you know she was she was on vacation the day that that boy was conceived i don't know i i'm not even kidding you if i'm alex carp i'm sending a message to complex and i am yeah his dad is a jewish clinical pediatrician his mother

is an african-american artist so then it's those jewish genes that power through i'll tell you man the jews are survivors that that dna is not to be fucking toiled with i would absolutely send a message being like can you politely remove me yeah i appreciate like i i don't this is stolen valor because you know we understand the point of that list right it's like obviously celebrating minorities who have like really made it and that guy has not gone through the struggle what do you do what's his business uh he's like uh i don't know if it's tech yeah exactly so like listen look at the rest of the list we're talking about entertainers ballplayers athletes like

and then you're a white tech guy get out of here alex carp um you're the mike torico of billionaires get the fuck out of here invested he started his career at a as a research associate at the sigmund freud institute in frankfurtarp has said he invested in startups and stocks after receiving an inheritance from his grandfather. Oh, come on. This is the exact opposite of being a black billionaire. You got an inheritance, you did stocks. In 2004, along with Peter Thiel and others,

he co-founded Palantir Technologies as CEO. I don't know what that is. That is some software platform for big data analytics. Yeah, come on. That really he's the he's the the mike terrico of of billionaires just like just like happy to be like i'm not going to correct you you can just keep that's one thing that's that's another that's a good internet story that i feel like we've told before but you have to realize how many cycles of internet viewers ago that was. But if people don't know it, Mike Tirico saying he's an Italian from Queens and not a black guy was like a

moment in my life that I view it as like BC and ad like pre thinking Mike Tirico was a black guy versus knowing he was not like mike terrico they tried to give him like naacp awards and he's like thanks but i'm not i'm not a black guy that's great i think he has a quote that said my mom is as white as the refrigerator they were like sir we'd like to give you African American of the Year for the NAACP. He's like, I'd prefer a bowl of gabagool. Yeah, that's what I mean. The fact that he wasn't even like, I'm not black.

He's like, I'm an Italian, okay? You want to give me the Italian American Award and we'll go to the Bronx. We'll go to Arthur Avenue, Little Italy. We could celebrate. What, dude? Get out of here, torico and just kind of like skated under the radar i don't think people talk about it anymore but that was a big

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on some level there has to be like it would there has to be enough of a shift that Lorne Michaels was like I won't get there won't be too much blowback from this I mean I think that's more than Shane's mega yeah so I think that's more that Shane is just so... Shane's mega.

Yeah. So you think that if Shane wasn't as big... But I've thought that the whole time, that things are case-by-case basis. That's why I thought cancel culture was always very overblown, just like anything gets overblown. But a lot of times it's just like, I don't know, it doesn't make financial sense for me to keep you.

People are mad, and you haven't proven yourself. So you're fired. Right. And that's how people get fired from every job. But I do think there's a level of I would be outraged about this and cause a stink. But also you are so fucking big and popular right now. I know that I will lose that battle. I think people, when they do the cancel culture, they pick targets that they think they can run out of town

or win the battle. You know what I mean? Yeah. And right now, you ain't going to win the battle. I mean... Well, they still are trying. TMZ put out a video today. I didn't even watch it, but I don't know.

It's a new Shane... Not a new Shane podcast clip. It's an old Shane podcast clip. I was thinking that. I didn't want to even bring it up to put it out there. But if I was him... Because I've been asking people the question would would would you do it and i didn't really bring up the reason why i don't think i would

have done it was not even because of like fuck us and l it's like you're willingly going to put yourself through this again probably yeah and yeah i honestly didn't even watch it who cares it doesn't matter he's so big that he can just roll through it i think it's also partly like getting yourself out there like like it's a part part of becoming mega but also in that becoming mega people understand you as a person whereas like if that if that's the first thing anyone's ever learned about you you know i've seen his act and i've heard some relatable things i know who he is right you're less apt to and and i think that's a a path people should take with every

person ever where it's like well that's the first thing i've ever heard from them let me and i hate the research do some research it's not that but like let me okay that's a little weird but i'll keep an open mind and see what else they think about other things and see what they say about yeah i don't know though because i do understand the other side of it it was just like like we always say like i'm not'm not going to do my research. But it's not do your research. Just don't make a decision. Yeah.

Like, just be like, oh, that's a weird thing. But don't you think you can do that to a fault almost where it's like you're giving everybody, like, how much slack do you give to everybody? Like, where do you draw the line on? Like, I mean, obviously, if someone's like commits a crime, it's like, all right, I'm not going to give you slack. I think I strive to give a good amount of slack because I know there's a million things. If it's the first thing you've ever heard about me, like, that dude's a fucking scumbag. Brother, don't I know it. Don't I know it.

So, you know, I'm going to treat others how you'd like to be treated. Yeah. So if it's a. Be normal. There's a lot. You just heard that about me. Like, what? That dude has a job?

I find you to be very. I don't think that's true, actually. I think there might be things where, like, this is a man, baby. But I don't think you have anything that comes across as, like, unlikable. But i think that's because you know me as a person i know i'm just saying i don't think that's true though but like just things i've said joking oh yeah like if you just if you isolated that you're like what the fuck yeah but like you know me as a person and like i'm i don't i make jokes but i don't yeah really think it's like when you told that story about how you thought you could catch down syndrome from that kid. Yeah.

Yeah. Or that other time that kid had cancer and you ran out of the room or something. I don't remember that one, but isn't that definitely possible? It was somebody who had cancer and you, again, didn't want to catch it from them or something like that.

Yeah, I thought a lot of things were fucking... A lot of contagious. A lot of germaphobe issues early on there. I ran across the Swansea Mall the first time I saw a black person. I thought it was a chocolate kid. Like, that... I mean, granted mean granted all these i'm like five but if i did that as an adult as a grown man i'm a chocolate person dude one of the funniest things that ever happened to me

and i was just a spectator in it so it was funny uh this kid adrian in like seventh grade, this black kid fell off his bike, went over the handles, and like fell on his face and scraped his face up so bad that all the patches of like injury were pink. And another black kid was like, Adrian, your paint is peeling. And I never laughed so fucking hard. And I was like, I'm just a spectator. They they're the ones saying it but that is so goddamn funny um so but anyway back to taylor um i i am interested to see if

there is any like legal recourse for this because there is some level of like this is just public record but you're being a dickhead you know it's like it's like like i wonder if there can be not a law but like a like like anything in life there should just be like a good faith clause where it's like yes plain records are legal are public but what you're doing is like harassment almost you know what i mean yeah yeah like it borders on the line of like you're fucking with my business you're fucking with my life like that shouldn fucking with my life. Like that shouldn't be allowed. I don't know. But then,

I don't know. That's a very slippery slope. That's a very blurred line. I don't know what to do there, but it's just like, it should almost be like, okay, this is now your job.

You have to do it for everybody all the time. Yeah. You have to give me reports on everybody that takes off all the time. Cause if we're going to do it, we're going to do it. You know? I mean, people track college coaches all the time.

Like, yeah, it's not a new thing. You know what the thing about Taylor is? Don't you feel like it feels like almost doing this gives it credence, kind of, you know what I mean? Or signals that she's thinking about it or worried about it. I'm just like, all right. Yeah, my plane's in Tokyo. So am I.

I'm doing a concert. Then I'm going to go to Las Vegas. I am a worldwide. You drive everywhere, right then i'm gonna go to las vegas i am a worldwide you drive everywhere right i have to fly to places it's fucking insane you you take a train to get places that are a train distance or drive because take the car distance i have a plane distance could you fucking imagine if taylor Swift took commercial flights in what world is that woman gonna even be able to do that for safety reasons for logistical reasons just for to keep the goddamn airport running reasons like I'm sure the government is like yeah like you have to take the fucking planes crazy at Air Force One I did see somebody talking about how the government, the airlines have just been stopping the high-speed rails for so long.

Oh, really? They're over their business, which I'm sure that's a dirty game, dude. Because everybody has said how far behind we are in the train game. You go to all these other foreign countries that are a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of the size of ours. I believe the number in Europe is if it's under 750 miles, it makes more sense to get a train. Crazy. 750 miles is pretty much all your trips. How far is 750 miles?

Especially when you live in Europe. You're going from country to country. They're a couple hundred miles. We're the only people who go thousands of miles in the same country. How far are we from New York right now? I think a thousand. Where are we? No, we're like two.

The country is 3,000. Okay. I think Florida is like 1,100. So from New York to Florida would make more sense. Like you could take a train to Florida every time. We're 2.5 thousand. Yeah. So like, you know, but yes, when you fly car when you go cross country

you still need to fly every time you go to boston dc chicago like all these could just be a train could be easier could be better and the airlines just you know it's all like probably some you know fucking lobbyists political shady like you know blowing up the the deal at the last minute or stopping the technology or whatever just think about i mean once once that happens the airlines are fucked i hope that happens it'd be so much better although uh you know it'd probably be expensive whatever i mean i'm sure one way or the other you get fucked i just want to you know you have to go through security and shit and all that you know what i mean would that happen to trains i don't think so right trains no i buy my train you can't drive a train through a building so i buy my train tickets on the train it cost me a lot of money uh dude i was talking about

that that costs a lot of money when you're doing metro north to go from like westchester to manhattan you do that from new york to boston they yo they when i was a kid like when i was younger they used to fuck you all right i mean they still do but you're just gonna afford it more but on the train they'd be like it's seven dollars if you buy it at the the you know the machine and it'll be 29 to buy it on the train i was like fuck when you have no money and you forget to buy a ticket it was like well there goes fucking lunch for the week dude i was i was home for christmas i think talking my aunt who's like 60 she's been living in new york her whole life and she's like we're talking about how much we love the train and she's like 40 years i've been

doing it i never spent over 50 to get home i was like i spend 280 every time i'm like six x that every time babe that is hilarious one way it is it is a six hundred dollar trip for me to get home back every weekend and i go home a lot well uh speaking of going back to what do uh billionaires do all day uh zuckerberg is is taking his mma training to a like such a level that the people at meta are like concerned they think that he's like too obsessed with mma and he's putting himself in a dangerous position as well they should be you think so yeah could you imagine if you were like the mind of a generation and you like i don't know you know

fall hit your head or some shit and like break your brain it's like i hope it was worth it dick oh i'm not even worried about the physical aspect of it just being an asshole yeah yeah just like anytime like anybody gets super into anything we kind of went to hockey earlier like later in life it's like dude this has been here the whole time what what snapped in your brain that now you're obsessed with it yeah and like then let's let's let's be honest about mma and things like that people who are obsessed with it they're fucking psychos like there aren't many, normal people who are obsessed with MMA. And anything.

Like, there aren't many normal people who are obsessed with anything. But it did become the wave, kind of like CrossFit, where it's, like, almost your form of exercise. But it's like, dude, just, like, hit the treadmill and lift the weights. You don't need to do this whole fucking jiu-jitsu performance, you know? Yeah. But, like, even just just like like i'm not like obsession of any kind it means something's off kilter what's something you think you could become obsessed with right now that you like like if you had all the money all the time in the world

do you think you would go boating do you think you would go fishing would you play hockey again would you like what no it's true i would travel just travel but like incessantly travel yeah i i i i'm obsessed with experiences i'm obsessed with doing which is very funny because like we talk about how much of a piece of shit you are but you're really not like i'm a piece of shit compared to you like i'm i'm very like i'm a homebody i'd rather chill at home with people i'd rather like even when i do plan something i like the day of i'm like i don't want to do this if plans get canceled the other day how great was that canceled the other monday yeah yeah me and john had a cancel it was it was it was my thing uh and then i invited him thinking oh yeah i i thought it was something he would like it was like involving like a celebrity

that i think he that I know he likes. But just because you like some celebrity doesn't mean you want to go out on a Monday night. And then the night of, my kids got sick. And I was like, I can't go because of my kids. And if I don't go, you don't have to go. And he was like, yes. And I put in the cancel. And then the guys were like, no problem.

That's even better. I will cancel. And even if it gets me, quote, quote unquote in trouble, I'm like, that was still great. When you cancel and it's all good, just go home and come to that. I don't even need the Pornhub. I just look at the text messages. But yeah. I would for sure just travel and do shit like that where's uh what's what's on your bucket list of travel everywhere but like what's what's next

gotta go to ireland in april you haven't gone to ireland yet never been to ireland no um it's crazy to me how much i i very much see the appeal in it but i don't feel the need to do it like i it's a very like i'm like good for you like that's awesome go do it and but i don't feel like damn i should too or like oh i'm jealous or whatever it's just like i i i it's kind of i guess i traveled my whole life so i I never, I always liked it, but like something definitely in the last five years or so, like, like I always liked it when I was young, but I wasn't like, holy shit. Yeah.

You really, I get like really holy shit now. Like when I was in Rome and like, they're like, just like, like, like when I was describing how old places are, I was like that's good though they're like just like like like when they were talking like describing how old places are it's like holy shit you're probably when we were in amsterdam i was like this is fucking beautiful i kept i remember i kept saying that on the boat yeah yeah i think that means you're not taking things for granted yeah i think so you get older and you're like you appreciate that like like something being very old probably used to be like that's crazy and now whether or not you realize it i don't think your brain is like processing it all in real time but on some

level you're going like like hundreds of years ago or like a thousand years ago there were people here building this doing this i was doing that when i was at the i went to the uh the senate forum in rome and i was like i think people were holding like i was like where i'm standing right now yeah yeah people were holding fucking trials right 2500 years ago that's fucking crazy right which is i hated the whole roman empire thing i still think that's so stupid but that is yeah the people who do think about it sometimes that's what they're thinking about yeah yeah uh i do i i'm i think I'm much more interaction-oriented. I'll get off on that. That's probably why I'm a podcaster.

I'll get off on a conversation. Well, that's what I was going to say. I'm actually more cultural, traditionally, what I like more. Honestly, what I like the most. I'm an uncultured swine. Is telling people about it after i like sharing the story and like interesting but like because that's a very podcaster thing yeah yeah but then my second is experiencing a new culture and the one i i guess i haven't really

had a chance to do it much and i've had a chance i just haven't done it much is like natural wonders like i haven't like i'm excited is natural wonders. I haven't... I'm excited to see the cliffs of Moher. Not man-made, so things that are just... Yeah, like I've never seen Grand Canyon. I want to see something and be like, holy fuck, that's just here? Yeah.

Right, right, that was just like... I really like seeing things other people enjoy and talking to them about it and stuff like that. Even that, it's like, again, probably the last six months i've just become more like comfortable with like i've been like just like not knowing things like tell me about that like i don't fucking like i always felt dumb and like it's i feel more comfortable now it's going like whoa i don't know what that is tell me um i feel like i've been much more even when i uh and this is why i think the internet i ended up like working on the internet and it works for me like when i moved away from i was in the bronx and

went to philly and then back to the bronx and i had my two best friends in philly and so we talked on on aol chat and then aim like all the time and so from like a very early age i was like just doing you know texting chatting because it was like they're my two best friends so i became very like that to me like you know like go outside and like see the sunset or whatever it's like i would rather be like literally on the computer talking to my best friends and then the same thing with like the internet blogging podcasting that's why sometimes even like i'm dming with like fans or whatever you're like we talk to these strangers i'm just i i i and i think probably why i like to interview people and talk to people is i i don't care if

we're just sitting in a house here a house across the country indoor outdoor a different foreign place whatever i'm just i don't i don't care about that but i would care to like talk to the people yeah figure out the stories whatever it's interesting to figure that out in your life of like i will do it but i just don't feel like compelled to like if i die on my deathbed and it's like i yeah i went to like italy i went to greece i went to a couple places i'll be okay with that like i don't think it'll be like a big regret of mine my my thing that that's like i i love that too and that's why i like i want to go like i guess bucket list all are all countries where like they don't speak any english totally different but that's like i don't i don't want to go and be like the ignorant american the asshole american like assume you're gonna speak english to me or anything like that

i don't speak fucking mongolian i don't know like i want to like i want like asia i want to go to asia i want to go to africa and shit like that but like i don't what the fuck am i gonna do like i guess everyone speaks english so donnie yeah donnie does like everything donnie does i text him like dude like give me the run out of that like uh and he gives it to me i haven't done any of it i really really want to do his Everest one. But I guess, you know, he... Like, zero desire. Honestly, though, that's probably why this podcast works. What? I think we're opposite ends of the spectrum that meet in the middle based on, like, talking about things.

Yeah. The main thing is always talking. And then it's... Like, tell me about that or like tell a story or laugh at a story yeah everything is for the story it's like yours is travel and mine's like just fucking around with people through the internet or whatever maybe so it's a good point it actually it was never intentional but it was like huh wait a minute that's why this shit works do you think we'll real quick before we're getting the voicemails will we just do this forever i'm very i'm good yeah i was thinking like do we you know at some

point he asked me that where he's like we like what's your plan i'm like first of all shut up and that's not just to nate that's to anybody who asked me my plan but the uh this particularly feels like you could do it forever like other shows i would be like everybody breaks up eventually yeah but i don't know i i think i could see like out of order like like if if other things start happening it's like it's just a time issue but if that's not an issue i think we'll just be like should we just talk for money forever or talk for free or talk for money forever let's talk for free or talk for money i don't know the i was like i was like i would think that like it becomes our barstool sports.com where it like yeah it like that we all we got other things going on but

like that's home come back to the home page home i like that as long as as long as you people keep watching and listening we'll keep doing forever all, let's get to voicemails. Body Armor is the official drink of Barstool Sports. We got the wide-mouthed water bottles. John drinks about 10 of them a day. We've got, more importantly, the Zero Sugar Body Armor. The Zero Sugar Body Armor is an engineering feat. It's a scientific wonder of the world.

Zero sugars. and it tastes exactly like your favorite sports drink from when you were a kid running around on a field day. It is so delicious. This is the lemon lime flavor. They've got the fruit punch. They've got orange, red, green, yellow. They got all the key colors and flavors for your favorite sports drink with zero sugars. I don't even know how they do it. I don't know how they make it taste that good. Right now, you can go to any store out there that carries body armor or go to the Amazon.

Go to the body armor store at Amazon. I just get it delivered right to my house. Big boxes. You don't have to carry them from the grocery store or wherever you're picking them up. Body armor just comes right to the door. I drink them. I stay hydrated.

It's the only thing keeping John alive at this point. Body armor. Go to the Amazon store right now and get your body armor today. Hey, KFC Fights, Jackie Pabst. So I was listening to the episode today, and I heard you guys talking about the Purewick. And my first job in medicine was as a nursing assistant. So unfortunately, I'm kind of an expert on all the different kinds of catheters. God bless you, man.

Managing continence in older patients. Ugh. All that fun stuff. So you guys were kind of right on with the Purewick. It's an external catheter, so it doesn't necessarily go inside the patient. It just sits right where the opening is, and you put the gauze right there,

and you hook it up to like medical grade suction on the wall and it goes into this little canister not really little canister a one liter canister that medical hangs on the wall and sits there suction to see um and it just sucks up anything that comes out all night long and i would have to empty it before my shift it was uh one of the one of the more glamorous parts of the job but you guys were also talking about the male replacement or the male version of an external catheter and what we used to use on like male patients who didn't get the Foley which is the full deal you know you shove that tube up your urethra and all that fun stuff which females get those too. These are just replacements for those.

Entirely. So the male version is a condom catheter. So whatever you're picturing right now is exactly what it is. Interesting. It literally comes in a condom packaging, but it's got an opening at the top that you can connect a tube to, and that tube goes straight to like a bag that we would hang on the side of the bed so basically um you know rolling a condom on your grandfather's flaccid penis hooking it up to the tubing and hooking it to the side of the bed and hoping uh hoping it didn't fall off so that my my demented patients so because of that it would actually like be extremely sticky so we would have to prep

the area with skin prep because when we would take these things off sometimes they would literally rip the skin off of those poor old men's junk uh so yeah that's the uh that's the male version of an external catheter you gotta l got to lube a guy, you got to lube a grandpa up and jerk him off? So I was going to say, the way I pictured it, I was like, I'm an idiot. Obviously, it's more like that, but I think my version might be better.

My original picture was like an Air Force mask. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like that. Almost like a cup, but for your mouth. And that connects to a tube. I feel like you put that on before you put a fucking condom on

that rips his skin off. Yeah. Just put like a... But then what happens is it's not going to drain fast enough. So I'm thinking just an actual cup. Like you were in sports. Right.

And the... I guess that would fill up... Yeah. You need like a wide mouth. Your balls are just floating in the air. Okay, okay. So you need a cup that then has a... A wide opening.

Wide opening. But no matter what... You know what you need is like a bowl filled with water. It's like, they've already thought of this shit, guys. Dude, him calling it an opening. An opening. Him saying medical grade suction. I don't know why, but that should be a line in WAP.

I got that medical grade suction. By the way, I don't think I love anything enough. Hats off to doctors and nurses and shit that are like, you like this enough to do that? Because on day one when that's the shit, I'd be like, never mind. It's like, no, no, you studied, you got your degree, you paid all that money,

you're going to do like surgery one day. It's like, maybe. But if I have to do like months of this first, no, I'm good. Next up. Hey, what's up you guys? It's Glenn here. I hope that you're doing well.

Here's something. When I was a kid and other kids used to come into school with injuries, maladies, let's say it was a broken arm, perhaps. That cast, it was more than hardened plaster. It was clout such that I wanted in. I wouldn't mind to get nicked up. You know what I'm saying? Oh, a baddie wants to know what happened to me.

A baddie wants to sign my cast, God forbid. Sign me up. Unfortunately, I was Ripken as a kid, and I never got injured. Up until recently, I pick up. Unfortunately, I was Ripken as a kid and I never got injured. Up until recently, I pick up a nick on my ankle. All of a sudden, I'm walking around with a limp only to find out that, walking around with a limp like Hagrid in the beginning of Order of the Phoenix. Anyways, I'm walking around with a limp only to find out it's a detriment. It's a detriment nowadays. No swag in walking around with a limp. How am I supposed to be cool and nonchalant if my steps don't even look the same? That's crazy, man.

And another thing that I found out, you can put together a $10,000 outfit. You're walking around with a limp. You feel like scum. It's a shame, really. So I guess my question is, at what age does getting injured no longer become cool? At what age is it a little pathetic? Oh, that's a good question. It's a great question.

He's nailing it. I've said this before. One of my longer-held beliefs is that there's nothing more white trash than an injured adult. An injured adult. And every time you say that, it cuts me to my core. But I'm a chronically injured adult. Yeah, I don't count you. If you do something to break your arm, break your leg, it's like, what happened, bro?

Yeah. Do something to break your arm, break your leg. It's like, what happened, bro? Yeah, dude, I remember being very young, probably when I was a nine-year-old Republican, seeing an adult man pedaling a bicycle with a cast on his leg. And I was like, look at this piece of shit. Like, what is this guy, a fucking drug dealer? I don't know why. like the bicycle the cast i get a fucking job but what age like if you're a college kid and you're injured it's like oh i don't know that kid fell off the roof at the party um but i would say that's probably around it like

like if you show up to work as like a you know like, a new hire and you've got a cast or something, like, you're getting roasted by the managers and shit, you know? So I think it's probably post-college. Yeah, it's post-college. Maybe you can extend to 24, but, like, it is. I was going to say high school. You can get injured in college. College you can get injured, but you're getting injured doing scumbag behavior. Yeah, you're at a front party on the roof or some shit.

It can be. And by scumbag, I mean scumbag lovingly, obviously. Like we've all done it before. Yeah. There is something, too, about the sympathy of an injury is kind of fun yeah you know it's like people are like they don't expect anything from you they're like are you okay they take care of you but then when that like if your parents aren't around teachers aren't around all that you're just like alone it's just like well now this is just a hindrance this is nobody's here to feel bad for

me except for fucking me so i'm just sitting here with a broken leg that's uh what's up with the what's the word on nick do we know oh we don't know nick tyranny fell down a flight of stairs and uh and he sent me a picture of it it's a strange it was a red line yeah it wasn't a bruise it was red uh because i i thought i was gonna see it and be like bro that is so broken like what are you even doing at the uh you know not at the hospital and and it wasn't as i was like i don't know what that is dude um dude the have ever since they changed the search on text messages it doesn't fucking work right anymore i don't i don't like i'm searching nick and the all the things that are coming up are like when i mentioned nick hamilton just like nick turani fucking phone conversation the um shit we're talking about injuries like that i believe i've mentioned this before, but when I transferred to boarding school and I broke my knuckles playing football, my first cast, it was like an early game of the season.

So I didn't know anybody still. And the cast they gave me was like this. My fingers were up like that. Fucking Dane Cook. So I would go around. I thought I was fingering. So people would be like, would you break your fingers fing around. No, I thought I was fingering. Well, yeah. So people would be like,

would you break your fingers fingering a girl? I know a guy that did it. They thought I was the weirdest kid in the world. They're like, it was just, it ended up becoming my best friend,

but he made my life hell where he's like, look at this guy, he doesn't know how to finger check. He's just fucking. I had a green cast that just went around like this. Green is great.

I know a guy who dislocated his middle finger knuckle in a girl's asshole. He was fingering her like this, and she fell off the bed, and it broke this knuckle, like the big knuckle. He had to pop his own knuckle back in. He's got that gorilla grip. For real. I was like, that girl's a toy. Last question. What's up KFC Been a while

So I have a quick story And then two follow up questions for you So the story One of my old best friends From high school She's you know You gotta be fucking kidding me. I have to get rotary down here.

One of my best friends from high school, she is, I've had a crush on her forever. We recently reconnected after like not talking for years. Still that same old tension happening um i'm talking every conversation we have turns into some sexual hypothetical uh went over her place the other night and i mean we're like basically dating without the sex um giving each other massages what the fuck asking all these crazy questions turn off your blinker uh so i guess i'm kind of friend zoned at the moment but playing being patient with it um my question for you have you or fights ever been in this situation

the friend zone thing and somehow got out of it um and number two for jackie this girl my friend like she knows i'm not gay so like what is she doing she's teasing me what do you think it's crazy because that was my first thought i mean listen just wondering if you've ever been in that situation. Getting friend-zoned as an adult is almost as ridiculous as being injured as an adult. It's like you either do it or you don't. Everyone has a job. Everyone's got responsibilities.

Let's not waste anybody's time here. Let's go or not go. I'm an idiot. I'm bad at seeing signs and things like that. You're massaging each other. My friend asked me for a massage. My friend's getting a little fucking dick. If you ask me, would you rather eat my pussy or fuck my pussy?

Can you rub my back for me? You're going to get fucked. You're going to get fucked. I'm the worst at seeing signs of all time yeah dude we were at a bar uh in chicago we go out it's me nick and donnie you know what donnie looks like right yeah montandon yeah you know what he looks like you guys have seen him yeah you look anything like this no no no so when this woman comes out to us and goes oh my god what are you guys twins the response isn't what are you a fucking idiot

she was like she's like what no you guys like you say what are you a fucking idiot we were both like what are you so stupid he's got black hair i got blonde hair we look nothing like you moron she's like all right sorry that's a scene out of a movie that is a scene out of a movie she like lingered that that that is that is like a girl pickup line i just i know i'm just desperate to talk to you that's all that's so funny you were like look at us. We were like, maybe fraternal? Like, no, you fucking moron. We're not even related.

Hey, guys, this girl over here. You guys see this pretty chick right here? She's also stupid. That is crazy. What do you think? I mean, I think if they're like giving massages that's insane first of all just i think like getting together like that sounds like you're at an apartment then right so it's like if you go if you are alone in an apartment with an adult woman

that's multiple times that's not your your your family or or something like that like you're fucking yeah and she's waiting for him to make the move right i feel like that's a girl who's like i don't want to feel like slutty or something like that but yeah or like normal gender norms sort of thing like you make the move i think being like yo give me a massage that's pretty much like making the move like she's made the move yeah she's she's like you know We talk about sex All the time And you're touching me You're touching my

Almost naked body Next time You know Next time Just be like Massage me Just fucking I'm ready for my massage

Everything but Like rape So you're the best Jackie I already got you Defense attorney like all those signs are here dude yeah yeah i mean maybe maybe guys have gotten a little trigger shy with with consent these days but i got uh several people asking me for the drake video by the way really several females asking me for the drake video that i had to be, I'm going to send you a video of a penis now. Do you agree to this?

Somebody who works here said, my friends think that they have the right video, but they're not sure. Can you send it? I said, Kelly, you don't need to do that. Yeah, bro. You cannot friend zoned as an adult like either you do it or you don't i mean i guess you can be because it sounds you're he's not friend zoned it's not like what are you wearing on your feet right yeah those i i saw those i i didn't want to say anything bro those things forget about the dirt like he's walking around on a dirty floor right now but the yellow toes are so dirty the white those white are those white or tan socks okay all right because i was gonna say i thought they were white and i was like bro retire those i came home from chicago and then went straight out and then came home an hour

before our flight and then i was like i have no socks nor underwear so what are you doing are you just i just had These are dress socks that were in the bottom of my drawer that was the only thing left. Right. And are you going commando? So we had to go with this and then I'm on my last pair of underwear.

So probably have to take a trip over to Target today. Yeah. Bro, those socks look like they should be hanging over in a medieval fireplace. Like when you had one pair of socks. Those...

Those... They're so... Wait. wait you gotta show the bottom too the bottom i mean they're so dirty they look like they belong in the holocaust museum in the pile of shoes there's also these socks i mean those are the and i don't know what oh and they're different they're mismatched aren't they they're well one silver and one gold. No, this one's just way different. Oh, maybe. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't know why men's... Whenever men's manufacturer decided, let's make yellow tips for socks, was fucking idiotic.

It's the hide-the-game green. Ugh. Ugh. Gingerbread is... No, whatever. It's a G thing. All right. Who's on our interview today?

Nobody. Nobody? Okay. All right. That's it for KFC Radio from Vegas. We'll be doing more video and whatnot on social media. We are on Rumble now. We also have a second channel.

There's the KFC Radio long-form channel. I'll sit back. Sorry. There's the KFC Radio Rumble and YouTube channel that everybody knows. So there's been a lot of uh back and forth about the video product what we're going to do now i i don't know if i've said it on camera or not but uh tuesday wednesday thursday friday on the kfc radio channel on youtube and on rumble is going to be john and i talking doing the podcast on tuesdays wednesday is going to be

if there's an interview th Thursday is John and I talking for the second episode. Friday is the second guest of the week. So long form post of us and our guests four days in a row every week. And then on Rumble and YouTube and all the streaming services, there's a new channel, KFC Radio Clips,

where we're putting out original content. Like if news breaks, we just hopped on and talked about Drake's dick. We hopped on. We talked about Aiden Ross streaming. I did a video about Alex Cooper and Joe Rogan. So I'll be doing kind of like one-minute man but longer formats. So another YouTube channel.

I know it's a pain in the ass, but the only way to do it right is to split up long form and short form. It's the only way the algorithm works. So everybody go watch there, and there'll be more content coming out but uh as far as kfc radio kfc kfc as far as kentucky fried chicken kfc radio in vegas we out i think friday will be out of order too or thursday for thursday it's honestly it's our funniest one yeah it's so stupid and make sure you get that smashed potato bowl. All right.

Thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, and leave a comment below. Click that button. Or I'll cut off my finger.