KFC Radio - Out & About on Experimenting With V*agra - Inside Barstool

Episode Date: June 19, 2023

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 00:30 Straight vs Gay STD scares and struggles 05:57 Having Kids 14:24 Joey took a viagra and shows us his d*** on it 17:44 leaking someone else's n*des and going through their phone 26:33 Kevin's "baggage" 30:36 Jared from Subway 33:40 Supersize Me 38:24 30 year old hangovers 45:39 KFC vs Retail sizing 51:47 Transgender Advocate Who Showed t*ts on white house lawn 54:01 Big Gay Bash Party 56:01 Most flattering guests ++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Barstool Store: SHOP NOW AT store.barstoolsports.com Turo: Find your drive. Forget boring rental cars at https://bit.ly/3Lwerc1You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's just normally not that heavy. That's a heavy d***. It's a thick d***. Oh, yeah. I'm off the sauce. You're off the sauce? Sorry, five days.

For Pride Month? You decided to get off the sauce for Pride Month? Yeah, I'll be back. How stupid is that? Why are you doing this now? Do it January, July 1st. What is it? We're not drinking?

The problem is I went on such a crazy binge on Thursday night, I woke up like, oh, I'm going to kill myself. You are my favorite binge drinker of all time. It was... I swear, it's one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my whole life. It should be a skit on your show. It should be the pilot of a TV show. A guy on such a bender that he thinks he has AIDS is the funniest fucking thing.

What was this? Two years ago, last month. He was part of the show. He was just falling asleep in the office. And he went and got tested. I go, I have it. I'm laying down. I have, I go, I'm HIV positive. And it's probably about to become AIDS.

Full blown. Full blown. I don't want that. I remember you. It was like a Friday night. It was great, man. We were doing a Friday night points episode and it was just like

I was nodding off you were like a little bit nervous I was terrified I was like I was literally nodding off and it started to happen to me again on like Friday

so I was like you need to take it fucking easy it was one of those things where it's like you're out you're drinking you're partying taking pause loads taking pause anonymous loads and it's like you just forget where you are for the positive h HIV positive loads. Oh, positive loads. I'm at that time at Jackie. But it was one of these things where it's like it was the witching hour. Like I don't even know what this is. It was like 11 p.m. and then it's 12. Then it's 1.

Then it's 2. Then it's 3. Then it's 4. And then I'm like, okay, it's 5 a.m. What am I doing? Get home. Let me write a goodbye in my iPhone notes to my mother. No way, dude.

I've done that like twice in the past year. Who's going to know to look there? Huh? Who's going to know to look there? They'll know to look. My pastor's the same way. Would you look through that dead person? Would you look through their notes? No.

I'd look through all their shit. I think it would be my first inclination. I'd make them my screensaver. So they show up. And make sure the phone's charged. That's smart. Yeah. Why don't you just go old-fashioned and be dramatic and write it on paper?

Write it in blood on the mirror. Or in blood. Or in cum on your chest. Put your AIDS blood on the – An AIDS blood on your chest. I am sorry. Get a dry erase. He says, I'm an AIDS cum on your chest?

Yeah. That's a nice job. Have you had a scare? I mean, I've always had a scare. Not a real scare, but like I have mentally – like if you think about all the filthy things you've done when you've gone through your first AIDS test... Well, it's so different for you guys.

It is not a concern or even thought for a straight dude. But you have pregnancy, which is worse. I'm not your brother! Which is way worse. I was going to say, it's way fucking worse. First of all, I would take AIDS over a baby any day. I've had a couple of scares in my day. It feels much more affordable.

I do it. I guess, do you guys have it? So, like, when you have unprotected sex with a stranger, right? I stress for nine months. Not four months. Nine months? But it's always in the back of my mind. Actually, not nine months.

Just for one month. A month. Like a week if you don't hear anything. But if you don't hear from him again, you're like nine months, you think someone's going to knock at the door and have a fucking package on you. There will be days where I'm just like, ooh.

There's no laws protecting straight boys since that. Against what? Against someone coming after you trying to give you a baby. It's called child support, brother. There's a law to protect the person with the child. I'll tell you what, there are laws.

They protect the other person, and I agree. Kevin, let me tell you something about child support. That check came just in time for old daddy boy. Really did, really did. I would say the, because we get a little taste of STD worry. You know, the other ones. But just in general, too, just sleeping around. We worry about the herp.

We worry about the regular ones. So we get a little bit. Never in my life have I worried about any of those. Have you ever had any? I will be honest. I've never fucked anybody that I... That was the least convincing no of all time.

Sure. I've never fucked anybody. that I... That was the least convincing no of all time. Sure. Anyway. I never fucked anybody. I've been in the time! It's like Roger from the Jersey Shore of gonorrhea four times, bro. If you're listening, I don't know if John has beat Red going,

Hey, come back! We all partied in the 70s, right? Loose time. We've at least experienced never something like death, like one that can cause death, so not on that level.

But we at least get a taste of that. You don't get a taste of pregnancy scare. That's not even a thing. That's pretty cool for you guys. That's a good check for you guys. You have to pay to get people knocked up. I guess the other thing is it comes back around. It's pretty awesome when you're just fucking and then when you want that's a good check for you we have to pay to get people knocked up yeah that's i guess the other thing is it comes back around it's pretty awesome when you're just fucking and then when you want to have a kid it's a whole production yeah that's why i'm not having

let's say we haven't had a child well if i had a uterus i'd be fucking the octomon by now fucking loads i take in my ass. If I had to, I would. Oh, God. You tried to adopt Sam Martin, the intern. Yeah. That didn't work.

Yeah, wait, why don't you guys have a baby and make it for content? To have together? For what? For content. I must have a child. Name the baby content.

How old? This is my baby, content Kamasta. Can he be like 16 and from like the Atlanta suburb? Imagine that every season, you know, we all get interns and they just get kids. They just have a family. You're like Jolie and Brad Pitt. You just have like nine kids.

I was so bored the other day. I thought about having a kid. I like Googled it. I've done that. I've Googled it. I'm like, maybe I have a kid. I was like, all my friends are having kids. Oh my God. Both of you have so many friends. And then I'll Google like adoption. I like googled it I've done that I've googled it I'm like maybe I have a kid I was like all my friends are having kids oh my god

both of you and then I like I'll google like adoption it's just so tough to figure out even how to do it it's not even worth it

dude I've woken up on like a Saturday morning like just like a night you can go out on a Friday wake up Saturday morning 7am bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and you're just like

what am I gonna do the rest of the day I got a lot I got a lot of time left yeah the rest of your life what are you gonna do the day's just starting and I of time left. The rest of your life what are you going to do? The day is just starting

and I have nothing to do. My eyes just cracked for the first time and I can go back to bed. God, that's so amazing. You can have less trouble that way. You can spend less money. When I'm awake, I spend too much money. So just stay asleep. Sleep is the only escape.

I eat too much food. I drink too much. I gain weight. Idle hands, baby. Idle hands. Just sleep and you're fine. I think I'm so like, is this life? What am I doing? How many cocktails can I have? How many parties can I go to?

I know, but the answer is like all of them. I'm so bored. There's nothing else to life. What is it? This is it? I remember that feeling. I wrote that blog about classic when you're 27 years old and the Club 27 meltdown. My theory is when you go to school, there's always graduation.

So from 14 to 18, you have freshman through senior year of high school, and then you graduate. And then 18 to 22, you have freshman through senior year of high school and then you graduate and then 18 to 22 you have college graduation then 22 to 26 hits and there's no next thing there's 30 so by the time you're 27 you're just going oh wait a minute i just do this forever i just have a job and i just do this but then i think at our age you get a little bit older then it becomes like so should I graduate in a way and have a family and all that and the answer is no the answer is unequivocally no I pretty young had like was like pretty sure

I was like I don't want kids or anything like that so like my 21st birthday I was like alright I'm about done your 21st? do you really think that you have like there are plenty of people this is mostly girls I think straight girls are usually like I don't want kids and it's because

they just haven't met the right person to have them with yet or whatever and then as soon as they do they're like I want babies and it's just kind of like a defense mechanism but some people I think are like I don't want them and I believe that they don't want them I was never sure and I've been tested a few times and then I'm like I don't want them, and I believe that they don't want them. I was never sure. And I've been tested a few times. Yeah.

And then I'm like, I don't want that. Yeah. Like, it is. Not to, you know, not full boy every time. But you were tested in the wrong ways. But there were times where I was like, I think I'll bring it. And I'm like, there's never. But you've never.

That's never. It's happened in relationships where it would have been. But not ones where you were like, ready to fuck it. Did they want to keep it? And you were like, grab them by the wrist, drug them to the club. There have been times where we had discussions. I was like, do you want to keep it you were like grab them by the wrist drug them to the club there have been times when we had like discussions i was like you want to get drunk get drunk and wrestle let's just try the test again let's just get two hours let's get drunk right let's just drown it in fucking vodka cardi 151 you want to get drunk right now right talking to a dog right you want to get drunk right you don't get to do that for nine months so let want to get drunk right now, right? You want to get drunk, right?

You don't get to do that for nine months. Let's fucking get drunk and then we'll deal with it tomorrow. If you know that and you're really okay with it, then it's... I'll just say this. It's not fun. Having kids. Yes. Fun is the operative word.

If you want to say you've always wanted to be a dad, satisfying is a big one. Fulfilled is a big one. All these terms that people kind of throw out there, there is truth to it. When I'm hanging out with my kids, I'm very happy. There is this feeling of like I'm making memories, fulfillment, satisfying, blah, blah, blah. But I'm not having fun. Right. fulfillment satisfying blah blah blah but I'm not having fun right because what is fun

as an adult is traveling around the world partying fucking people doing risky shit crazy stuff all of that you immediately stop doing

when you have kids but my thing is that's not even fun anymore well and then that's the question it's like so what is fun it's like this job is great

it doesn't you know keep me too like I have free time you know what I mean keep me too, like, I have free time. You know what I mean? Like, we joke about like, oh,

I have a merch meeting tonight to get out of the house. Like, I have free time. but here's the thing. Once you have that, you have like, no free time.

Yeah. You know, it all goes away. So it's like a very, there's no, yeah, honestly, that's when people say like,

it's like having a kid. It's like, well, it's not, but at least there is this little middle ground. I don't know. You don't want kids. I think I'm too old for it now.

How old are you? 45. 44, sorry. I don't think you're too old for that. But it is. De Niro's having it at 89. He's also a billionaire. You should get a knock on the wall then.

We've said we would kill, if you were De Niro's kid, his older kid, like he's a kid in his 40s, 50s, wouldn't you like cut his dick off yeah now I gotta raise him they're losing like 50 million dollars yeah oh shit

he's worth like 500 million dollars for no reason he's got big money so you know I'm losing I'm losing 50 million dollars cause you want to

cause dad wanted to leave it in you wanna change a few diapers before you kick the bucket like that's that's the other thing too though he's not

he's not gonna do anything not going to do anything. Right, right, right. That's some woman that he... Actually, no. Pacino's woman is like 25. He met her last year. She's 29. 29.

But the other one, I think, is the same mother as the other kids. You see him on the Today Show talking about it? No. They got him a gift, and it was like, hug me today. And he goes, all right. He just puts it down. How's the baby doing?

He goes, pretty good. I'm sure he doesn't even know the kid's name. You see the video of him. It's so funny, man. And I long to get to a level like that where he's on a red carpet. I think it's for Flowers of the Killer Moon. The picture? The picture.

Someone hands him a picture. Artie, like he drew it yes a picture of him but he's already got his reel running he's like I drew that

what do you think and De Niro's just looking into a camera like he looks at it and goes he's been famous for so long

it's like when you're famous for that long that guy was funny he turns to whatever camera's rolling damn he really like fucking shot me down The kids thing though

You know you're not too old But it is daunting to be like You know I'm gonna be Old when they wanna like play Even I'm feeling that now I'm like Jesus We can hire people now I would knock a woman up

but I would want her to get out of the picture right after. I don't want her trying to take my baby away and try to tell me what to wear. You need to surrogate

and then you kill her afterwards. Yeah. You knock her out. You should do citizenship for service. Yeah, I would do that. I would have to be able to like,

I don't know. I'd have to be in the mood to do it or I could just go like this and then when she's running ready just roll over

and shoot it in there. Fourth of July is one of the big party holidays. You have cookouts. You have exclusively cookouts. There's nothing else you could possibly do on the Fourth of July. I guess a pool party, you could throw it in there. But the point is it is like a St. Patrick's Day. It is like a Halloween.

You dress up for the Fourth of July. You dress up for Lady Halloween. You dress up for the 4th of July. You dress up for Lady Liberty. You dress up for the Stars and Stripes. You dress up to celebrate their wedding anniversary. It's what it is. Lady Liberty and Uncle Sam. Like that. They got like that together.

Go to the store.barstoolesports.com. Get all the merch you need for your 4th of July party. We got all kinds of stuff number one is i love free game flyovers you could get it at a gas station if you wanted to but you can save gas money and just buy it online instead all kinds of starters there's dude i love freedom there's dill there's man i love freedom there's milk there's all kinds of usa stuff get it right now have it in time for your fourth of july Cookout, barbecue, pool party, whatever you want to call them.

It's all the same thing. It's a gathering of friends and freedom. Go to store.barstoolsports.com right now. Get it. Well, you've been doing it on your Viagra kick lately. I took a Viagra kick last night, yeah. You did? Yes.

How come? Just the funsies? Yeah, because I've been having you know, I've been having performance anxiety lately and my antidepressants like fuck with my libido so I've been taking them here and there

but it's like, it's a strong one I got from India. It's like 200 milligrams. You were with somebody or just for your own? Yeah, my lover. Okay.

It's a man. It's a man. How long did it last? So there's no confusion. I mean, I was telling him that it lasted throughout the next day One constant

Or the reload time is very fast After the first one You're hanging heavy You gain a good three inches of soft It just hangs I showed you the picture Yeah, I saw the picture It was not his dick

It was a black man's dick I don't know where I got there But the next day Everything just hangs You feel like you have like a full day like everything's heavy down there you could feel like banging into your legs it's like the whole thing down there down there yeah that's it i don't want it to get hard all the way yeah i want it to just be like yeah it hangs heavy the next day because the blood's still all in there so if you have to like change where's this picture the homies. The heavy dick picture.

You really want to see it? Yeah. It's not his dick. Oh, I thought you were joking. It is my dick, but it's not his dick. It is literally your dick, though. It is my dick, but it's. Heavy D, let's see it.

I mean, I want to see this. Where do I. You got them from India. I almost read a before and after, too, though. Also, like. Show me all your cock pictures. We'll pop the link in the bio. Yeah.

It's called Senforce 200. I get it from India. after too though. Also like Show me all your cock pictures. We'll pop the link in the bio. Yeah. And by the bio I mean It's called Senforce 200 that I get from India. Is that what Lamar Odom OD'd on? Probably.

And like gas station It was a very special deal for you Mr. Camacho. Tiger pills and shit. Very special deal for you today. You get free Viagra

I give you 200 for free. I'm finding it. I'm afraid my heart would explode Is it from the internet? You just found it and it gets delivered or you found it My father had it

at his house that him and his buddies were trading they were trading Viagra pills for weed and they were yeah they were like

doing this Yankee swap throw it in the hole and grab one I took one of theirs I got one from them and took it I found it

Which one's the best one? You got my readers? I took one of theirs. I got one from them and took it. I found it. Which one's the best one? You got my readership? Colleen, close your eyes. Let me get my readership. What are you looking at? Why can't you look at it? Because it's jelly. Because it's jelly?

It's normally not that heavy. That's a heavy dick. It's a thick dick. Oh, yeah. And that's because of the pills. Usually it sits right up on there like a bird yeah yeah yeah he's like to take that like when i take it i put it on the nightstand and you stand in front of it oh okay that's not tied with the timer on and what did you put your arms over your head is that there's no hands in your picture you take dudes like that you put a timer on i just go in a mirror. Totally. Oh, I just... I also don't do it anymore.

I put my face in it. We've said before on the show, we live in a post-nude society. I don't care about your nudes. Don't send them to me. I'm not going to send you any either. Yeah. It is of no reason,

like of privacy. I think when you are... When you're in your nudes era, with the right person or whatever, it's a fucking... Nudes were great back in the day. I think it's a blast. I've seen so many nudes era with the right person or whatever, it's a fucking... Nudes were great back in the day. I think it's a blast.

I've seen so many nudes. Yeah, that's another thing I feel like in your society that's very... I've seen thousands of dicks. Do girls have nudes pictures of you?

Oh, yeah. Have they ever resurfaced? I've been threatened before. I've been threatened so many times. For money? Really? No, not for money.

This is like 10 years ago. This is before... Now I want it threatened before. I've been threatened so many times. For money? Really? No, not for money. This is like 10 years ago. This is before. Now I want it to happen. Because now like fucking private, fucking, what do you call it? Revenge porn laws are so strict. Like now you turn me into a hero. You leak my news.

I'm a victim. I'm a victim. Also, there's a couple pictures out there where I got a heavy D that I wouldn't mind people seeing. I'm like, you know. Now it's like, it would be mildly embarrassing now, but I would be like i could cry on tv i'm like yeah i can't believe i

did that yeah that's how my my famous video got out back in the day when i got a little little taste of fame the second i tried to like blackmail i was like you're not getting any money from me i was like i don't know what you're thinking that's also it gets a little weird because it's like i think there's if you're like I don't know what you're thinking. Also, it gets a little weird because it's like, I think there's, if you're like threatening to post somebody like you're an asshole, but it does get dicey with like, like girls casually joke about how much they send

dick pics around to the group chat. But if you're like, you're a guy and you show Yeah, totally. What do you mean? Girls are like, if you send me your dick, it's going to all, like it's like, you know. But if a girl sends me a nude, it's going to all. It's like, we're just going to show our friends. But if a girl sends me a nude and I show it to everyone, I'm violating trust and all that. Oh, that's bullshit.

All my friends at home would trade nudes. All the straight guys. A lot of times I feel like guys will show me, but they won't send it. Things like that. That's too risky. But it's weird when it's your sex tape or your pictures pictures and it's like, well, I don't know. Now I can't show them. I hate how like everything lives forever.

Like time hop people infuriate me because they'll text me like, we had this conversation four years ago. Today. And I'm like, why do you have that fucking screenshot? Why is that happening? Because like texting is conversation now and like conversation didn't just fades and disappears didn't happen forever like i don't like how everything is etched in stone now and that's not a novelty in writing but like with pictures in particular like even in writing like when i sent you a letter i like i was sitting down to send you a letter

i'm not having a conversation but this is we're just talking real time yeah but like the pictures in particular when people like have like like oh remember when you sent me this picture i'm like replied oh fuck yeah that's documented i mean regular ass pictures i'm like why'd you fucking save that you almost wish that the world had like a uh like a five year reset reset yeah because if i was showing you a fucking a photograph as we used to do back in day and you just got up put in your pocket and walked away i'd be insane yeah you can't keep that what do you need that for let me screenshot that or people screenshot actual conversations yeah that's what i mean and then that comes up in time hop yeah in your world do does everybody snoop through each other's phones or is it like the quote-unquote girl in the relationship snoops through phones?

I mean, some people are shy. I don't share everything. I don't share pictures. I don't have bad pictures, but I wouldn't share pictures with my boyfriend or anything. No, I'm talking about pictures now. I'm talking about snooping through phones. Just going through a phone if they leave it on the table. Straight girls, you could offer a girl, here's a million dollars cash,

or you get to be alone in the room with your boyfriend's phone unlocked. They would take the phone. I would never look at it. Because they just want to know.'m a nightmare i'm a crazy person so i like i would read like a small thing and turn into a big thing like that like even like nothing even anything if there was like he was on a website looking for a certain t-shirt or something i'd be like why is he looking for this t-shirt like what's gonna make a fucking huge fucking thing but you know you're crazy enough i know i'm crazy enough but but still controlled

enough to say then so i'm not gonna go look i look at it? I don't want to see anything. That's admirable because most of the time you're crazy. It would ruin my life. It would ruin my life. Yeah. It would ruin his life. It would – I would never. Yeah.

And also privacy. I think like way back in the day I probably looked like when I was like 18. But I have never considered looking probably since my 21st birthday when I died. The desire to know. I remember one time I had my iPad was connected to someone else's phone. And I saw a text coming in. And they were salacious. And I just disconnected it.

You know what I mean? I was like, I don't want this. And it probably could have been... From someone you were dating? Yeah, but it was just like I could... Ignorance is bliss. Use these or get satisfaction out of these or whatever you want to call it.

And I was just like, nope, this is not right. And I would hate if this was happening to me. So for karma or whatever i'm just yeah i also think you reach a point where you just don't care it's like i don't like why am i in a relationship just to be just to be at peace and have sex with someone regularly that's i don't even care about like let's say i don't know if i snooped and found something i don't know if i would care like i think i think my tolerance right now is very high for like not for

bullshit but for it's like on one hand like I if I'm not like jiving with you we don't like click like then you're fucking gone but if we do then it's like I don't know I could find out you fuck someone and then killed them afterwards and I'd be like but I don't know we got

a really good thing going here. So I don't want to rock and roll. I'm kind of in a vibe right now. I'm trying to shake things up. Just don't do that to me. Even that, I'm like, you don't ask me questions. I like that a lot. So I feel like if I go with another person, they're going to ask questions. Yeah, for real.

You let me be me. So we're good. That's honestly maybe the biggest, most important thing in the world. Yeah, when you get old, you weigh a lot of things. Like, you know, is older. You let me be me. So we're good. That's honestly maybe the biggest, most important thing in the world. Yeah, when you get old, you weigh a lot of things. Like, you know, is it really worth doing all this? Because you're getting lazy. Like, I don't feel like getting involved with all this. I don't care.

Do you want to find someone to date again? No. Do you know how difficult that is? I was just watching a show based on a true story on Peacock. And there's, like like one of the couples they're like the husband and wife are fucking other people

and they're like you're having an affair with like your trainer or whatever and she's like are you guys just fucking each other? Like yeah

she's like yeah I know he's fucking another woman he knows she knows I'm on vacation I think that's the next next stage of evolution

I think people who are that would be tough for me. Yeah. I thought we'd like – I wouldn't want to know. You better be secretive as fuck. No, because then I'd be afraid of catching something. It's like in my head.

You're like, oh, I don't care about it. In my head, I'm like, would it be nice to have six years left to me? I'd be like, as long as you're not afraid of the test, then I can get the fuck out of that. You have to come out of the death pool. He goes, I got six years left in me. We got to get through one more contract cycle. Wait, what do you you I mean you're worried About catching what

Anything It's like AIDS is done now You're not taking Your breath over But it's also like What's that Like the Kenny Powers thing

It's like She's worried about What I have It's like you don't Know what I have either Yeah So it's like We gotta be careful

But I've thought about Like oh would that be nice To have like an open Relationship and fuck Other people If it was one sided Like it was just me That's always the

kicker i'm okay with that but if you are that's like chicks who are like uh i you like a girl can go down on me i'll be gay that way i'm not going out on you yeah it's always a one-way street for some of the fun stuff but i think that's why i think those people who do that are more like evolved and uh like mature wise like i think it's more mature to be like, you can go do that physical act and I'll go do that physical act and then we come back to each other and live our lives together and it's still okay. I think it's even more than

maturity. It's like an extreme ability to be at peace with whatever happens. At peace with yourself, at peace with the situation, knowing it's probably giving up 100% of any situation that you had control over. I don't know.

I would love that, but I don't know. I couldn't do it. What do you get jealous about? Like, is it jealous about, like, they're better than me in bed? They're better than me at life? Yeah, I mean, I think it's more that, like, I try to be, like, everything for him, Like they're better than me in bed. They're better than me at life. They're hotter than me. I think it's more that like I try to be like everything for him, like for anyone in my family.

I try to like just try to be all things. Like I try to make sure that I can do anything and I never have to go outside and look for it. So it makes me feel it's more about like me being insecure that I'm lacking in something that I can't do. Like I can't provide them with something. I guess that would start to – Like money-wise, like if it's money or if it's sex. He came over and folded my laundry the other day.

What? He was sitting on the couch. Yeah, well, he likes doing motherly things and providing in every sense. So if I'm able to provide for... I'm a provider, that's what it is. If I can't provide for...

Well, what if you met a guy who also... who's like, bye. He's like, you can't be a girl. And he wants to fuck other... Everything's cool. Beyond that, you're in love. But he also is like, can I also a girl and he wants to fuck other everything's cool beyond that you're in love but he also is like

I would have a sex change then just on the bottom part that's why it's tough it makes me crazy you feel like you're not good enough compare yourself a lot. I think I'm so like – there's already so much baggage with me and shit that I'm like – you know what I mean? I'm like so if you're down with all this but you got to go do some other shit on the side.

There's so much baggage. Cool. It's such a funny thing. And it's all so public everyone can know everything about your life there's that baggage and then there's like the kids baggage and the job is weird it's a lot of shit to date me and it's like so if you're gonna be good with all that i'll let you probably fuck anybody or do anything. Like, whatever. The baggage comment reminded me of, I forget where we were. We had done a live show somewhere.

You remember this? And we were out of the bar afterwards. This was years ago. And you were just, like, talking to a girl. And her friend came up. Oh. We were on the road. Yeah, where were we?

We were in somewhere warm. Somewhere warm. We were on the road. Yeah, where were we? We were in somewhere warm. Somewhere warm. We were on like a roof deck. Is that when you guys were in L.A.? Probably L.A. No, I don't think it was L.A. I wanted to say like Nashville, but it wasn't Nashville. We were talking to a –

You were in Tampa. I was talking to a – Maybe it was Florida when we went to that Florida football game. Was it that? Oh, it could have been that Florida football game. You were not far off. It for sure could have been Orlando or something like that. Yeah, I was talking to that girl for a pretty long time.

And yeah, what did her friend do? She came up. With the phone, right? And she just hit her friend and had the Daily Mail open. And he was like, really? To you? Yeah, it was like the Kevin's article. I was like, holy shit.

I didn't know what to do. To the girl or to you it was like the kevin's article i was like holy shit i didn't know what to do to the girl or you to the girl like i think it was like she was like the mother hen of the group trying to like you know the worst there's always one girl trying to stop the girls from talking to guys yeah yeah um the cock blocker i'm pretty sure though i mean that she didn't go home with me so it must have affected on some level. But I'm pretty sure that girl was like, we're good. But I was like, God. I'm talking to him. He throws dick. I think I actually remember you saying that because I was so upset in that moment.

And I remember you being like, I think you said something like, that's actually a good thing. These chicks are going to love that. I don't know if you're just saying that. But I'm going to run with that idea. The ones who are going to be down are going to be down. Yeah, right, right. Well, it's like they say, you know, a lot of people say like a wedding ring is like the most attractive thing to women because they're like he can commit. And someone else, it's proof of someone else liking him and all that.

It's like, well. Proof of concept. Let me tell you what's even better is like there was a ring, but then divorce. That was fucked, though. I remember being like, you know, like usually I'm not like the smoothest operator, but I'll usually like come up with something quick. She's a whistleblower. And I was just like, she's a whistleblower. She's like the old mother trying to meet kids in the Target and they go running around.

This man's here to meet a 13-year-old girl. They're running around holding the phone up. This man was here to meet a child in a parking lot. I don't know what you're referring to, but it sounds like exactly the situation. You're in that TikTok algorithm too? Yes. Predator bus algorithm for TikTok.

I've seen some of that. There's a group of black dudes who are like doing it. They have like their own channel. Yeah, I think so.

And they, but then like, I don't think anything happens to those guys. They just make them call their wife on camera. Yeah, they just like own them,

but then I'm like, well. They make them call their wives on camera? Oh yeah. They'll be caught. They'll be like, tell her i gotta talk to you well i got caught trying to meet a 13 year old boy at the movie theater and the part of the lady is distraught on the phone it's horrible holy shit what do you mean james they're always southern oh always it's always a walmart parking lot well it's the truth I'm getting therapy

Have you watched the subway guy? Yo That is I meant to talk about this There's a documentary on subway Jared Jared Fogle But it has all tapes It has the T

Yo let me tell you something There's someone worse than Jared Fogle And it's the woman him saying it like asking what would you tell my daughter's panties so yo let me tell you something there's there's someone worse than Jared Vogel and it's the woman the fucking who was selling the purchase

she went undercover she's a regular ass chick who um I think worked for a modern day Jelaine Maxwell if you will

she like I can't remember her connection but she was connected to Jared and they were out one night. She was a sandwich artist, I believe. They were out somewhere, and he said something.

They were at a school event, and Jared said something out loud right next to her. Aren't middle school girls just the sexiest? And she was like, what was that and then decided to become this vigilante and spent years like entrapping him which i think ultimately like she worked with the police and did take him down so like you're the hero but you can't tell me that there wasn't a few nights and a few conversations where she was just a few cocktails yeah yeah like she did it for a long time and kept being like I just don't have I don't have the proof yet I don't have the smoking gun

so I'm gonna do it I'm gonna keep going and I was like I'm gonna put pigtails in and have them get me from behind I think didn't she look like that though didn't

I think so she dressed up like that and then and then the fucking craziest shit he was like she was like so do you wanna

like meet up with kids like have you ever you were hooked meet up with kids? Have you ever hooked up with a kid? What's the youngest you've ever had? Hooked up with a kid. No, even worse. Rape, we call it. He said, I want to pound them. He's like, I can't wait

to pound that nine-year-old. Listen to this. The woman was trying to entrap him. And she was like, her plan was to have him come to her son's birthday party because there was going to be other kids there. Dressed as a glory hole. And he said to her, will you like, and this is all recorded and it's got the subtitles. And he's like, will you let your kids undress in front of me that'll be cool right that'll be hot like i'll go up in their room and they can

undress in front of me and she was like and that's when i realized i was like too close i was like you're fucking call a man call in the face yeah when was this on netflix or something it's on netflix i saw i forgot but You put that on your Instagram story. But you had it on your close friends. And I was like, does Kevin not want people to know he watched this? It's embarrassing to watch. I've never posted on my close friends ever.

But I saw the green circle. And I was like, oh shit. So I must have just slipped the finger. My close friends is just you and my brother. I think it's you, my brother, and my sister. That's it. No snitch squad. check this dog out that's so good but dude it is you know the story but when you hear him talk and say some of these things nine years old 12 years old i want to pound them

did he ever do it um i think he's i think he admitted to at least like once yeah and then it's like 100,000 gigs of fucking child porn. It was heterosexual, though? It was both. I feel like pedophiles are always gay. All pedophiles are gay.

All gay men are pedophiles. That's why Target's got a fucking real name. Sorry, I switched their sentence. I'm just sexist. It's a parallel to a rectangle thing. I'm just sexing. It's a parallel and a rectangle thing. It is true. I feel like they'll fuck anything.

I feel like it's not, I don't often hear that the... They actually, oh, that it's a girl. And by hear, I mean watch a Criminal Minds episode. Like, I don't ever hear the news.

I think he was just like, both. Like, he just said, like, kids. Kids, just all care. I mean, if you can't be, if you can't be choosy, I guess.

I also didn't realize how much he was going around to schools. Because I was kind of like, I don't know. He was a mentor. He was going around telling a story. He was doing speeches at schools about how to not be a fat guy. What do you mean? You don't be a fat guy by eating Subway sandwiches? That's the whole thing, right?

Yeah, but dude, I remember when I heard about that when I was young. And then you hear, he walked 12 miles back and forth every day. That was what... Do you remember the McDonald's guy? He spent the entire day walking to Subway. Well, he was looking for children. That was the only thing that happened. It was along a school route.

Do you remember the McDonald's CEO did the same thing and lost weight? And it was like... That poor guy should have been like, and I'm not fucking kids. Remember Super Size May? Yeah. Amazing. He ate himself almost to death. Because he did that month of McDonald's.

So the CEO, I think, got rid of Super Size. He cleaned it all up and then was like, ate like a burger and a fish filet a day or whatever and I looked like I was actually healthy but also that dude and I could be making this up

I believe that like the only real problem with that with I forget the guy the superstar was like he had like a fucked up liver

from it Morgan Spurlock Morgan Spurlock and then it came out he was like a raging alcoholic yeah it's like it's not McDonald's it's like he's watching McDonald's down with a fucking bottle of Jack.

I could be wrong about everything I just said, which is always the case. Probably. We don't fact check. Yeah. We don't fact check anything. I'm pretty sure that was like, he later came out, he was an alcoholic. And he's like, yeah, sorry about that. Aren't we all?

My kids have been fat shaming me a lot recently. Your kids? My kids are very, they only drink water legitimately truly they do not have any juice or any soda or anything i have so in my life it's the same exact thing i drink diet cokes we've had conversations about diet cokes before um that's what people drink yeah but people drink in the morning the first thing in the morning they're disgusting but like we like we get shamed for drinking diet so it has zero calories that's the least thing you have to worry about is me drinking Diet Coke. Yeah, please.

Domino's is where the problem lies. Come on. There's way worse than drinking soda in the morning. I'll crack a can and they'll be like, Dad, really? Soda again? I'm like, fuck you kids, man. How old are your kids? Seven and almost six. And they had their very healthy, clean eating kind of deal?

Well, it's not clean eating because it's like chicken nuggets and french fries and stuff. But they're very like picky. It's like butter with pasta. Yeah. Butter – yeah. Actually, the amount of butter I put on this probably is butter with pasta. They're not like – they don't eat a lot of fruit.

They don't eat a lot of – like they don't experiment or like whatever. They're very picky and they just eat – but the water is what crazy i'm like do you want like it's like uh like yeah like pizza tonight and do you want like a coke like no do you want like chocolate milk no it's because they don't like it or they know that it's not i think weirdos i think they're weirdos sugar they're very nervous. You want this line of booger sugar? They're very nervous about everything. Two liters. No. Kool-Aid bursts.

Remember those? The sugar from fucking... Pixie sticks? Pixie sticks. Yeah, that's very middle school. Just inhale those. Yeah. Do a bump of pixie sticks. Fucking pop that right in.

Yeah. That's a very middle school thing to do. Hit the bathroom stall real quick. That's funny, though, that we both did that. I don't think I ever did that, actually. What, pixie stick? Pussy. I don't think I was.

I just did real coke. I think I went straight to the real stuff. 10th grade. There was no gateway drug for me. When was the first time you did coke? 10th grade? I think maybe my junior year of high school I tried it. When did you try it?

Probably late high school as well. I would say probably senior year. I was old. Maybe junior year. I tried it. When did you try it? Probably late high school as well. I was old. Maybe junior year. I've still never done it, but I was not going to do it in high school. No. I think that this kid had... My friends were doing ketamine in high school. They were in K-holes in high school.

My middle school friends were doing ketamine. Really? I don't know if they were actually doing it. My girl knows you did ketamine. Maybe it was a locker room kind of deal but they were saying I was in a K-hole this weekend

it's not fun when I learned that it was a fucking horse tranquilizer I was like yo you guys are crazy man like I was in Fire Island over the weekend

and like even that a couple weekends ago was too much I was like after day two there was no serotonin in my brain

that's why I'm saying I'm like you need to get, there was no serotonin in my brain. That's why I say, I'm like, you need to get it together. Like, I can hang out with The crash is tough. It was just too much. It was like,

and you look around, like, people are in K-holes, people are fucked up. I'm like, dude, we're in our 30s, man.

Like, I'm ready to go. Like, I want to be able to get up and like, walk around. Have a glass of water. Like,

not sit there and suffocate to breathe. I don't know how how you know the hangovers came fast and swift for me and then it just was not worth it

not at all I would I would love to like have some cocktails on the beach or dinner or whatever

I've done I've done enough and it's like now even drinking is like I gotta force myself to drink it's like

what am I getting out of this like I don't drink at home anymore like now even drinking is like I gotta force myself to drink it's like what am I getting out of this I don't drink at home anymore I just drink all the time at home during the pandemic and even before that I'd have weekly just have wine with dinner or whatever

now I just don't even get involved in it anymore I think when you go through your wine phase you start to learn what you like and you try some fancy bottles and you pair it

with mixing and all that and then when you've done that for years too you're like well what the fuck am I doing I all that and then when you've done that for years too you're like well what's the fucking point yeah i just want to sleep then eventually you just kill yourself like what is the point of living uh it's like now what bring it back to the boredom it's like the drinking whatever that's when you get to hard drugs or like once a year for a weekend you go out you go kind of nuts but even then i'm like it's almost sad well i was looking around i was

like guys like it's a commitment now it's like too much When I see people who are like Early 30s Starting to go through it And I'm just It's like watching an addict Or someone like Telling someone they shouldn't date somebody You gotta let them do it

They gotta go through it And I'm like you're gonna stop in like Six months or a year But you should just stop now Because you're just I'm like, you're going to stop in like six months or a year. But you should just stop now because you're just going to torture yourself. But you're not ready yet. And you want to keep partying. And it's like, nope, it's too late. Kevin's just talking to me right now.

I actually wasn't thinking of you at that moment. But yes, you're in there. But no, but you don't didn't, at least for a long time, go through the hangovers. When I watch the people who like the 30-year-old hangovers start start to set in and i watch them still do it i'm like what are you doing torture yourself was that that much fun last night like it's not if it still is then like by all means but when the people when the people who wake up are like i'm like i'm sick for like two straight days and it was just a regular night at the bar, I'm like, that was not worth it.

And they're like, no, it wasn't. But if you're still worth it, then you're still in party mode. For me to be able to go out and drink and have fun, I now need to be with a group of people that I want to drink with as much. It's not worth it for me to go out for a casual drink with a couple of co-workers. That's just fucking hell. I'm going to go out for a casual drink with a couple of co-workers. That's just fucking hell. I'm going to go out. You spend $50, $60 on three beers.

You're just in between. You go home a little drunk. You want to be around people that you have fun with. We used to have fun during the pandemic. I remember being at your house and being like, I need to go home. John would be the T-Rex himself with his phone. That's when I'm like, I got to get out of here. But you wouldn't have a hangover.

And I would wake up and be like, dude, I need like three days before I see you again. There was that one brunch day at John's house. Yeah. It was a holiday. Yeah. It was. It might have been Easter. Easter weekend.

Yeah. I think it was the Masters was on Easter. It was. That was like a 36-hour... I think you were there. I think I had a friend come down from Boston. It was mixed company. I remember hearing that brunch was family-style food and drugs laid out. You know what I mean?

It was like, get a scoop of this, have some quiche, have some of this, have some of that. Remember you had Thanksgiving at your house and just no one ate the food? BFT came over and he made like a white trash margarita with Doritos on it. Yeah, he loves that. Like, I'm going to have eight of these and no turkey. But your kids now, are you trying to lose weight because your kids are shaming you or you just don't get fat? No, no. You don't look fat.

I definitely need to lose weight. your kids are shaming you or you just don't get fat? No, no. You don't look – you're not fat. I definitely need to lose weight. Like I'm not – I'm skinny fat. I've always said it and even – but now I'm realizing when I used to say it, I wasn't. I was just skinny. Now I'm skinny fat. I'd rather be – who were we talking about recently that like they have like a belly? Caroline Berlitz.

Yeah, yeah, Bert. Bert is like Burt and guys built like him they're like they're big, you know but they're just like big guys their stomachs are like it's a matter of being tight like you're either tight, like muscular

or like your belly makes you tight I'm like, though, you know I'd almost rather be fully big and it's just like i'm a bigger guy and that's that but i'm like you're just like work who said work fat it's like work you know like with the term work fat no i've never heard about i like that the guys are fat i can't remember who it was it might have been like a some sort of like joey diaz line or yeah dylan or something but it's like your work fat. It was like Cuban guys or like Dominicans, their work fat. Like they could be like this, but they had a six pack.

Yeah, underneath. It's packed in tight. They're built like a man. There's nothing in the hips. Yeah, I'm not – yeah. I'm built like a woman. I'm built like a woman. I have like lug handles.

I am like – I'm getting fat in the wrong – yeah. I got like a big fat ass. You have a figure instead of a body. Like pear-shaped or something. It's gross, dude. Pear-shaped is the worst. It's the worst. Like a tube sock with a cantaloupe in it.

I was doing something – oh, maybe you guys can chime in on this too. I'm on a crusade against the fashion world right now based on sizing. Summer is here. That means it is time to get out on the road. Nothing beats a lovely summer drive. Windows down, music blaring, everything just going great. Can't do that if you don't have a car though. That's where Atturo comes in. It is the world's largest car sharing marketplace. You can borrow any kind of car you want. You can get an SUV for a nice little road trip with the fellas. You can test drive an EV, an electronic vehicle.

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every rental is backed by liability insurance conditions, and exclusions do apply. Find your drive. Forget boring rental cars at Turo. I ordered a vintage shirt from like the early 90s and I ordered an XL. And it came in what should be an XL. Like it was fucking huge. And I put on a t-shirt. Actually, did I show you? I put the two shirts on top of each other and took a picture. Because I wore it like a regular t-shirt the next day. Oh show you? I put the two shirts on top of each other and took a picture. I wore a regular t-shirt the next day

and that was an XL. I'm like, it's too tight, too short, too everything. Thank you very much. I'm not telling you. It's scotch and soda. No, it's not. Come on. It's better than that?

Of course it is. If I told you, you would know. That's very nice. Can we bleep it? Now I have to know. Yeah, it's a brand called... Why are you afraid to say it? Because it's a fucking nice t-shirt.

You just don't want people to know, man? I don't want people having it. Oh. These are both XLs. The long sleeve shirt's an from like the early 90s and then that that t-shirt there is an xl now i legitimately like i what this looks like a baby t-shirt right now and that shirt did shrink a little bit so i'm like you know that happens so i legit if i want to have keep a shirt that fits this out i need to wear wear a double XL and have it shrink to be an XL

I'm not a fucking double XL you creep, you zoomed into my toe I wear 3X in shorts that's such bullshit you're not a triple XL and um balls beach where I'm a 3X bathing suit that's just like something

along the lines we switched it 36-38 that's normal suit. That's just like something along the lines. That's like a 3638. That's great. Like a triple. Yeah. And now I think, you know, if you are triple extra L extra large, you're like

fucking, you know, the big boys. You're huge. It's crazy. We got triple X's here. They're not sitting on any of these

couches. Exactly. Do you see the triple X's? Do you see a big F's face? Big F's face? No.

He shaved his face. I did. It was. Oh, no. It was. Why do you do Big Ev's face? No. He shaved his face. I did. It was weird. Oh, no. Why did he do that? He lost a bet. Lost a bet. Oh, okay.

I thought it was Photoshopped when I saw it on a computer. I mean, that is – I like to keep the scruff so, like, my face isn't big. I can't imagine. I walked by him. Because he's always had the chipmunks. And I was like, what's up, Ev? And I was with Marty. And he goes, John notices something different, but he's scared to say anything.

I would put that on a sign. Fill in your name, notice something but you're too afraid to say anything. That's tough. You know what was the thing about Hemsworth? His scruff. We both knew it. You know about eyes, you know about jaw, all that shit. His scruff was perfect.

It wasn't good. I never even knew that was a thing to have good and bad scruff. It was like a famous painter himself. Just like individual strokes. It was like, was it painted on? I swear to God it was painted on. It was crazy. What, did he have glam?

I'll look at the picture. Right down the beach. That was so funny. Like, you think when you take a picture next to someone that beautiful that they'll be, like, you you'll look you guys will look hideous Oh my god I'm sorry I just saw that picture He turned into Bobby Kelly I mean holy shit

Whoa I haven't seen that one He had a hat on when I saw it Holy shit Now but hear me out Like again There's something to Ev Where like especially now he's just a big big guy with the bald head that's almost like a thing where it's just like and he'll be lovable and you know

i'm not saying you know it's the hottest thing in the world by any means but it's like you just know who that guy is as opposed to like you're what I don't know. It's like his face like almost disappears into his body. Yeah. That's smart to say. I mean,

I'm sure it's nothing that he hasn't bro. That is, that is so funny. So he, so he shaved his head. So what was the bet?

The nuggets? The heat, right? Heat or nuggets. He said like months ago that there's, if the nuggets were to win, like he would shave his beard.

That was a bad bet. Who reminded him of that? What? I would answer the phone. Well, I'm sure it was a bet on the show or something. I think he just said it offhand months ago. Well, that's like when I said I would calm myself and jump off a bridge, and then that happened. That was tough. The ultimate way to die.

The ultimate release. So you're being a little fucking pussy and not drinking in the middle of Pride Month. Give me a drink. I'll drink right now. Yeah. You know what it is? It's just nice to clock a weekend. It's like this whole weekend, I went to the gym.

I ate right. I was good this weekend. And then you're like, by the way, I'm rich now too. Yeah, I have so much money left. I remember that feeling, yeah. Today rolled around. I woke up. I was like, ooh, I couldn't. I have so much money. I remember that feeling, yeah. Today rolled around. I woke up. I was like, ooh, I could go to the park.

I took the subway here today. Did you? Ooh, making changes in your life. You see a subway? Yeah. You don't do that a lot? You're an Uber guy? I take the Ubers.

I hate Uber. I do. Yeah, I do cabs sometimes. But the subway is just so much more efficient. I like efficiency. It really is. It's so much faster. I guess so.

Yeah, you're right. But you've got to go east to west, which is a pain in the dick. Crosstown is fucking nuts. No, no. I took the same train to here and there. I just walk a little bit when I get here. I think that's a great thing. I can't, like, especially in the summer, though.

I took the cab the other day. I left like 40 minutes early because I was like, I'm going to sweat. I'm going to get like, my hair is going to fucking get all gross. Oh, you took a cab. That's right. Nick had said you drove. Yeah, when you were in Rochester, wherever you're at? No, I got to the office.

We had to go up to Columbus Circle. We had to be there at 1230. Today? No, yesterday. And I was like, the subway will take like seven minutes. But in that seven minutes, I'm going to wait for the fucking thing. I'm going to get hot. I'm going to get gross.

And then I'm going to be upset that I'm at this big interview and I look shitty. So I'm just going to leave now and sit in traffic for 35 minutes. And I got there at the same time as everybody. But Nick left like 25 minutes after me, took the subway and got there at the same time. You should be a full-time driver. That's the most ridiculous thing. I would love that. Yeah.

I mean – It's tough. Worth it. Yeah. No, totally. I mean because there was – the last time we did this we took the subway and we like went to the wrong track

we had to go up and down and it was hot and by the time we got to Sirius or wherever we were going I was like wet and I was just like I'm not doing this ever again you're going to change your clothes

I'm not doing this ever again did you see the this complete change of subject did you see the who showed her tits on the White House lawn I saw a TMz tweet it but that sounds awesome that was it was not awesome that's what gives us a bad name why oh you're

gonna give us a bad name it's not her it's showing up in that's so much ammo it's like you just met biden and i are showing your tits why let me tell you a different story about a different subject and i bet you're gonna go that's fucking dope and it is actually about the same subject david cross was at the white house correspondence dinner david cross uh device funke and did a bump of coke at the table because he just said i wanted to tell my i want to be able to tell people that i did coke in the same room as obama switch coke with the tits i just want to say i have my tits out in the same room as Biden. Yeah. That's a cool story now. Now you do have a point. I guess I tried to say it.

I think the average person, it's like the same thing as, I don't know, mooning somebody. You just did something crazy on the White House lawn to say you did it. It's like shrieking on the field. It's like, I don't know. I don't think there's many. Maybe there's a couple people in the middle who are going to be allies who are now like, well, this is why. Homosexuality is in a bit of a, not gray area, but a transition, such as Barstool Sports, where it used to be a little crazy, a little dirty, a little nuts. Now it's all fucking corporate.

Now BMW is putting their logo. And now it's like, that sucks. That's big business now. And what are we going to do, guys? I'd love to have a slice of that BMW. But I would say that the trans community then is like hiring

some fucking hardcore comic or, you know what I mean? I feel like the trans community is back to, like, down and dirty and wild and shit, so. Like, we had a drag queen at our party that we had. We got a hired transsexual.

That's it. To solve all the problems. Armameda's thing, and I was like, I don't know if this is going to be awkward. Like, people have been, like, drinking, but not enough. It was very awkward. What was this? Oh, for the gay bash? Oh, yeah. For the gay bash we had?

Did you think that was weird? I loved it. I was drunk and having fun. How did the party as a whole go? It was good. I wanted it to go so bad. A lot of people showed up. Everyone from New York showed up.

There was never gay people there. It was just me, you, and a couple others. Yeah. It was fun. It was fun. It was packed. We packed the bar.

It was one of these... It was like people who know how to drink like large and annie came like all the people who are normal and then of course you know there's people who aren't but that's the category we followed so it was what it was you went home at what five i think i went home at three five tonight for i just sneak by him at like 2 3030 to be like he's going to make me stay so I ran out of the bar and you're like hammered or you just go long into the night I don't like to end so I keep drinking and hanging out

I get like puppy what if something happens and I miss it I want to be the last to bed every single time I feel like at some point you know what's going to happen it's going to be a couple more hours of the same thing you were doing for the last six hours there's that one percent

but I have always found that old adage of nothing good happens after like 3am is generally right like really the people who will like at like 2.30 like let's get around a tequila shot that's literally just ruining The people who will, like, at, like, 2.30, like, let's get a round of tequila shots,

like, that's literally just ruining your, making your hangover that much worse. You people are the worst. I'll fucking pour myself a glass of whiskey at 6 a.m., dude. I'm fucking, I'm in it to win it, dude. Your body should be donated to science. I wish we could, like, take your brain out and put it in, like, crang, like a machine, so we could still have you alive. Because by the time you die, we'll donate your body to science. You'll be 37.

By the time you're old, your body won't be worth studying. I'm going to study it right now and be like, how did this thing work? How did this operate? It's so running. Yeah, it's impressive. It looks strong, though. Dude, he's in great shape. It's so annoying. Because I'm fucking gross. Thanks. He looks strong, though. He's in great shape. It's so annoying.

Because I'm fucking gross, you know? Thanks. I'll tell you what. Several, several, there are dozens of comments about us looking like Hemsworth's brother. You guys all look the same. Somebody said if I closed my mouth in the picture, I would look like Chris. I said, well, I closed my mouth in the picture I would look like Chris I kept my mouth open I had my mouth open already in case something went down

Who's the third Hemsworth? Chris and Liam? Yeah, there's another one, Luke But they were talking about me and John in the picture The other Hemsworth A decent amount of people saying shit like that I was like, I feel pretty good about myself today Did he know who you guys were before he went on?

That was so funny I introduced myself and he said, well, I feel pretty good about myself today. Did he know who you guys were before he went on? That was so funny. I said – I introduced myself and he said, hi, I'm Chris. And I said, yeah, I think I heard you. And he said, oh, I've heard of you too. And I said, no, you haven't. And he was fully waiting for just like – oh, I've heard of you too. And we keep it moving. And I said, no, you haven't.

And he went, now I have. And I was like, okay. That's funny though. Yeah, you haven't. And he went, now I have. And I was like, okay. That's funny, though. Yeah, he was cool. What's the biggest star who you've met who has known you, who you've been shocked to know? When Rob McElhaney came in and he was like, at the time we were doing a thing, we had a video out where John, you know, John can't open beer bottles because he has fat sausage fingers. He was trying to open a bottle and he couldn't. And he came in i think what happened was his team was like here watch these two videos

right before you go in the room and so he came in and was like get this guy a bottle of beer he can't even open it and i was like you know like about that sort of and i'm sure it was because like i said it was just like he only watched a 30 second video but he made it feel like we knew who we were that's like when we had uh what's his name on jerry oh jerry o'connell yeah he yeah he does his research well he's like a barstool you guys like he knows you should just work here celebrity i'm surprised like come in and you can say something kevin hart did a very good job kevin hart he doesn't know us at all but he made it he made us feel like at the end of the interview he would be he's like thank you guys you like you guys are doing so great.

What you do is really amazing. I remember what he said. He leaves it in private. I remember it. He went, you guys get funnier every time. Yeah, that's huge. He just knows

we've been interviewed before. He doesn't actually think that. He doesn't know, but like. Right. I think he probably has a line for when it's the first time. Yeah, yeah.

That was great. I'd love to do it again. When it's multiple times, he says you get better every time how many times have you had him on? Kevin Hart probably 3 or 4 a decent amount more than we should he is

consummate professional when Burt was like if I needed to promote a special and I only had one place it would be Barstool that was probably the highest compliment that's huge that was even the one that did for me with him when he was like he was telling us it wasn't like on mike he was we were just like at an after party in nashville and he was like you

guys like when we come to the east coast when a comic comes to the east coast like that's he's like you guys know you're the number one stop he introduced us to mike bender that yeah i know that way he was like a he's like a director and a documentarian and a really important person. He said, these guys are like the premier East Coast comedy podcast. I looked at John. We were like, what? Bert was smoking a cigar and drinking a glass of whiskey or tequila or something. And he goes, yeah, you fucking know that?

Yeah, you guys know that, right? And we were like, no. Say that out loud. Say it louder for the people in the back. Can we get it clean? You guys had Andy on the other day, right? Andy Bravo? No, no.

No? That was shit. We got to band together and get him in. Yeah, he's fun. I don't know. I can't let the fucking straight girls have Andy. Let's call him Andy Bravo. I think he is amazing.

I think he is kind of like the Stephen A. Smith of the gay celebrity gossip reality TV world. I think he's incredible. He's a puppeteer of sorts. Yeah, he really is. Especially with these Vanderpump idiots. That's all-time reality television. He speaks in clips. I don't know if you guys watch the Vanderpump thing. Well, we were like... That was like, that's all-time reality television. He speaks like in clips. Yeah.

I don't know if you guys watched the Vanderpump thing. Well, we were like. Nick Hamilton watched it. Oh, it was great. The way I saw the way he was like. At one point he was like, well, yeah, but like all you guys have all cheated on each other. So let's relax. It was like, yeah, yes. Like fucking say it.

He is great, though. He's fucking. Look at what he's done. He's created a whole genre of television with him. He must be rich. Yeah. He's so rich. He has two babies.

I was saying, it seems like. He's building a house in Sag Harbor. I don't know what he did before, but it feels like he was a therapist almost with some of the questions that only a therapist should ask people, and he's just doing it live on TV and trapping people. I liked when they were trying to say you can't get drunk anymore and he was kind of like, I'm just going to do it.

Like, I'm untouchable. You know, what are you going to do? Oh, on CNN? Yeah. I guess he's not employed by CNN so it's like they could say you're not allowed on anymore but he's like...

People like that. People like relatable shit. No one wants a buttoned up special anymore. No one wants a buttoned up interview. No one wants anything to be like formatted. People just want to listen to the conversation. This is all stretched. Nothing's buttons here.

Let's go with the parade. Are we excited for the parade? Yeah, we have a double-decker bus this year. We had the Silver Silverado last time. You should make only certain people can only be on the top and bottom. You should make only like certain people can only be on the top

and bottom. That'd be funny. This year it's a lot earlier. Yeah. I'll be there. Are you going to come? Of course I'll be there. No, it's not 2 o'clock.

We have to be here at 1130 in the morning? Well, that's just I think they just say that. I'm getting here at like 155. I was going to say last year I got here

last year it was crazy. Last year I was home beforehand and I woke up in the morning and got to the train station. My train was canceled, so my mom came and gave me her car. I remember that. So then I drove and then I hit traffic in Stanford, got off the fucking highway, got on the fucking metro north of Stanford, came in, and I was panicking and stressing the whole time. I was too.

I was coming from Connecticut as well. And I got here. I was at Foxwoods the night before. We sat in the studio for fucking – I was in his office for like three hours. Atlantic was too. I was coming from Connecticut as well. And I got here. I was at Foxwoods the night before. We sat in the studio. We fucking sat in his office for like three hours. Atlantic City. It was Atlantic City, right? Yep.

And this year I'm not going to make that mistake again. And by make that mistake, I mean show up early. Yeah. June 25th, it's going to be – we've got a double-decker bus sponsored by Mimita and Bloom and – Are you guys doing a Working Girls for that? And Proper Wilds. And Proper Wilds.

It's like a vlog, a little vlog that we have. That was where the party was. Will you have a heavy dick that day? I think I will, yeah. You better. It's like the Super Bowl for you guys. Yeah, I'm going to take it before I wear some slinky shorts and really show it off. I actually was cleaning out my apartment today and I found the shirt I wore last year.

I don't know if I'm going to wear it again. Yeah. It was very graphic with like a shirt with Jack Luigi and a fucking big old cock on him. They'll be merged.

You can check it out. It's funny. I mentioned to my mom. I was like, oh, are you going to come to the parade this year? She goes, what? It's like a thing. I go every year. She goes, honey, are you going to come to the parade this year? She goes, what? It's like a thing.

I go every year. She goes, honey, once was enough. So that was that. But we're looking forward to it. Yeah, come out and see us and shake your tits at us. All right. And we got live shows coming up or anything? This fall we're going to have live shows.

Yeah, we got some coming in the fall as well. Nice. Take a little bit of a break for the summer. All right. Out and about. Go follow. bit of a break for the summer. All right. Out and about. Go follow. Get involved.

Be the man mafia. Buy your merch. Download, subscribe. Thank you. See you at the parade. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.