KFC Radio - Polly Feitelberg Interview + KFC Cries at His First Father Daughter Dance

Episode Date: May 17, 2022

The long-awaited Polly Feitelberg Interview has finally arrived, as a reward for hitting 100k subscribers on Youbue. We sit down with Polly Feitelberg (Feits' mom) and get to the bottom of why Feits is the way that he is and what her take is on all of his stories such as e. coli Christmas, skipping every Monday of school, joining Barstool, and much more. As for the regular episode: - KFC talks about attending his first father-daughter dance and the how he cried multiple times throughout the night - We rank the top 5 worst states - Video Voicemails - secondary characters - driving a stranger 5 blocks - being a Goy ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 0:00 - Intro 12:03 - Father Daughter Dance 20:59 - Top 5 Worst States 55:33 - Video Voicemails 1:09:23 - Polly Feitelberg Interview 00;08;42;00 - Gametime 00;45;54;25 - Priceline 01;00;45;02 - Manscaped 1:08:32 - 3chi ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Gametime: Download the Gametime app at https://barstool.link/GametimeApp and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Manscaped: Get 20% off + free shipping with the code KFC at https://barstool.link/ManscapedBSS Priceline: Visit https://barstool.link/Priceline for the best deals that will help you get the most of your trip. Revitalyte: Pick up Revitalyte Black Label today in-stores or online at https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/revitalyte-black-labelYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. So, E. coli Christmas was as, like, just nobody wanted to stay with him? Well, truth be told, I knew it was bad meat when I cooked it. Are you ready for this? Are you ready for this? It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. This is arguably the most important podcast we've ever put out. I mean, it's definitely top five. It's certainly top three.

But you can make the argument given how important you are to the show and how important your stories are to you being on the show and the woman that is either responsible for them or a part of them or made you who you are and made those stories happen, she's here today. Polly Feidelberg in the house. Polly Feidelberg on KFC Radio. A second Feidelberg. Off the top, what do you think?

How do you think the episode went? It was perfect. Except I fucking, I'm just going to say it up front. We'll do it for part two. I forgot to bring up the Brady Four. I don't know how I didn't hit upon it. But I also could have, if you listen to this interview, you watch this interview, you could probably guess what her response

to the Brady Four would be. Like, I don't know, he's an idiot. But to get some of the. There was a lot. I was kind of like, I was almost more of a spectator in it because I was like – I remember we chimed in. Because it was hard for me to get – It's hard for you to do that.

Because I'm like, this is just a conversation with my mom. Yes. I'm like, is this a great podcast? I don't know. I talk to her every day. Right. This is what we do every day. But you know to even like hit the group chat or call me and be like, yo, Polly just said X, Y, Z.

You know what I mean? So it's always interesting enough that those moments happen. So if you know that your regular conversations with your mom are podcast worthy, then me sitting down being able to pepper her with questions and whatever about all of our classic moments, like just to either get confirmation, to get a different angle, to hear her side of it, to hear, you know, whatever. And she's just a fucking like she's just a gangster man the level of just like yeah i don't give a fuck man like so many things that you know yeah he didn't go to school because i don't know and like so many things that were just like yeah you know the meat was raw i don't know to tell you like things that were you know some people would probably she's like she's she's queen of the faces which is unfortunate for her i know she didn't want to do she don't want to video which is totally

understandable though yeah she's like yeah a lot a lot of shrugs a lot of like who gives a fuck a lot of a lot of times i i was like boy i'm like a i'm a big pussy compared to this woman like these are the things i'm laughing at worrying about and thinking about on this show and she's just like yeah man whatever dude but um but i mean just like there's a couple things that you didn't know a couple stories that she told about when you're really young a couple sides of the stories that i don't think you had heard uh confirmation about a lot of things that we needed to confirm uh alternate angles of the same story you know just just so good and then and you really can see where, you know,

you get a lot of your, like, traits from and a lot of it is obviously, like, same DNA and same family, like, atmosphere and environment. Of course, it's going to be the same. But what was interesting, and I do agree with her, but it was, you know know it's weird to think is that you know her perception of you

is that like you always speak your opinion and you're not like you don't get rolled over you will like you know defiantly say whatever because it's probably

when you're with your family and shit you're probably just like fuck you yeah yeah I speak up whatever you know like when you're with your people

you're more toned yeah family or friends I would guess I'd be more yeah more prone to be like, no, you're wrong, or whatever the fuck it is. I've always said that with significant others. I'm like, no, you're an idiot. Right. I'll tell you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll tell you right to your fucking face. It's the reason I don't have any right now. But that's incorrect. It's not a recipe for success, but it is a recipe I use. If I know I'm right, if I know I'm right, I'm going to make sure I'm right. Yeah, right, right. But that's funny because a lot of it is in other situations with strangers or a co-worker or an acquaintance, you would just be like, okay, I know you're wrong, but I'm not going to call you out on it because I don't want to do that. But with people you do know, you're like, no, fuck that.

I'm going to tell you. So there's an interesting element about you, too no fuck that i'm gonna tell you you know uh so you know it there's there's an interesting element of about like you too on that but polly man the big the white whale we got it i was watching like i was saying earlier i i was basically like i had no idea how it was gonna go i didn't know how to gauge it and like that went longer than i thought it's like an hour and 10 i thought i was like i'm not gonna keep this woman here for a whole episode we'll just bang it out 20 minutes half hour she's not probably used to this woman here for a whole episode. We'll just bang it out, 20 minutes, half hour. She's not probably used to this.

And it just kept flowing. As we walked out, she went, that's so easy. You get paid for that? Of course, in the perfect way. Talking down to you about whatever this is. But I was watching everyone else, and everyone else seemed to be laughing. So I could get one as well. I mean, if you're an outsider, you're probably like, what?

But this is for the chicken heads. This is for the OGs. If you've been listening to these stories, somebody said – I said, name all the stories you want me to talk about. Somebody was like, I got to get a reaction to the New Orleans story. I was like – Well, that was – Come on. I'm not an animal.

I texted you before the show. There was one story to lay off. I don't know. We have a normal mom-son relationship. We don't talk about sex right I think as far as I'm concerned

I'm a virgin like we don't there's not sex stories with my parents yeah the condom we talk about like drugs and parties and shit like that

but we don't talk I don't talk about sex with my parents I'm not fucking I'm Catholic the condoms were off your limit the mile off limits

was like I'm not talking to this woman about a threesome cuck in New Orleans where she said the poop's going to fall out. We're not doing that. So big episode. We'll still get into

the top five. By the way, you were also saying you could see where I got some of my traits from her and my father was also here and that's where you can see where I got my other traits from where he came out and I was like what'd you do well because she he wasn't didn't you can't really have a publicist in the green room in the room with you because they're gonna try and chime in or they're gonna try and say i don't know differently he's like no we get here from this

perspective and her alone we'll do the parents we'll do the dads another time yeah um yeah and uh my mom was like what'd you what'd you do the whole time and he had we had gone to show him oh this was the best we'd gone to put him in the green room and it was actually funny so like i'm giving my parents a tour and um and he's like like wow this is pretty crazy like they're thinking back to the milton days and like i remember my mom said like she had to like fight for me to be able to even do this which i didn't know that's an awesome story i didn't know that's a really i don't want to spoil it but like the story of john getting a job at parstool and what his parents reaction was is a very good one yeah i didn't know i knew it before this but i learned it much later i didn't know that at the time at all and for context that's one where you're not gonna be able to see her face but she was like oh yeah buddy

yeah oh yeah um but the uh so he's like i can't believe like you know here this is what you've got i remember i remember walking in the office in mill and being like this is what my son wants to do with his life and yeah now it's so legitimate women's underwear yeah and and now he's like he's like now he's a real comment i was like yeah yeah it is and as i'm doing that i'm opening the green room so he could sit in there and watch the interview. And O'Malley just passed out on the couch. This is Sunday afternoon. So she just went.

This is Sunday at noon. It's like Sunday morning. Sunday at noon. O'Malley had her jacket on. I think she had like a skirt on, sneakers still on. And she was like this. Face fucking down. I wanted to be like

are you breathing did you smother yourself and then and we like we filmed and took pictures like she didn't stir bro

it was not she was in a deep one then so I could have put him in the green room I just showed him to where you know where the TVs are where we watch games

and stream a lot and and then we come out and I was like what'd you do the whole time he's like I don't know TVs were on

drank a couple beers because I couldn't know. TV's were on. Drank a couple beers. Because I couldn't change the channel, so I watched NCIS. He goes, I don't like this show, so I just drank a couple beers. Which is, you know, that's the fight over way. That's the KC Radio way. That's the normal guy way. Like, what did you do?

Had a couple beers. I don't know. Just sat there and had a couple beers. So we'll get through a couple other things quickly, and then we'll get to the, you know, we all know why you're here. But today's episode is brought to you by Game Time. We probably could have charged money for this. Our live show should have just been Polly.

Oh, yeah, speak of the live show, Philly. Fucking Philly. This is it. This is your last chance. Thursday this week, we are at the Fillmore. Buy your tickets. We rented out this theater because Philly wanted us to come so bad.

We need to make sure that we have this final push to make sure that we represent Philly the way that we know the KFC radio is big in Philly. Improve it and make it happen. Buy the tickets. Come out. Chris O'Connor, Tommy Pope, Mark Roberge, OAR music video premiere. Music video premiere, live performance.

Tommy and Chris are going to fuck around and do whatever they do. We'll play ATI. Shit gets weird on these shows. And it's a Thursday night, Thursday happy hour into the show. You'll be home. You don't have to worry about work tomorrow. I don't want to hear any nonsense about it being on Thursday. So get the tickets directly from us

on our social media. You can find tickets through Live Nation at the Fillmore. But if you're trying to go to any... The Bruins are still in it? No. No, you son of a bitch. I actually didn't mean that.

The Rangers are still in it. I really didn't do that. That was not intentional. Celtics are. I wish it was. Yeah, Celtics, man. What a weird... You know what? I had a thought. I wish it was. Yeah, Celtics, man. What a weird – you know what?

I had a thought. Do you think there was any, like, Suns, Bruins fans? Like, is there one guy out there who just got, like, annihilated this weekend? For sure. You think so? Yeah, definitely. Or, like, a Bucs – a Bucs – Bucs Penguins fan, I would guess.

Yeah, that's possible, yeah. But just, like – I would guess –, I would guess. Yeah, that's possible. I would actually guess there's no Pittsburgh basketball team, right? How far is it from Western Pennsylvania to Milwaukee? Yeah, that's probably it. I guess Cavs fans. A lot of Cavs fans, yeah. But you know, that Suns game seven,

I've never seen anything like that in my life. That game was over in the blink of an eye. I didn't watch it. They were down 40. I know I've heard of it. They were down 40. I know I've heard of it. They were down by 40. I actually looked up the final score. It was closer than I thought it was going to be.

It was still 33. Right, right, right. I remember the Bulls beat the Jazz, I think, 96-54 in the finals. But it was game three. They were just able to shake it off. They ended up losing the Bulls anyway. But a game seven, you're jacked up. Fans going crazy.

And by the end of the first quarter, you're doubled up. By the halftime, you're down 30. That's tough. That was actually a thing Polly was saying the other day where she said that maybe this is something we can pitch to Game Time. She only wants to go for the first half. Half tickets.

She goes, I want to be part of the environment, but I don't really care who wins. I like that. And then, you know what? There's people who I know, plenty of people, all the other things that matter in a basketball game is the last two minutes. So maybe I pay for the half. You come in at halftime.

There you go. But either way, if you're trying to get these tickets and you want to get them at the lowest price possible on the secondary market, that's where GameTime comes in. They have last-minute price drops that can be found on the seats that you want, but you could never usually buy. You can get a price that would never ordinarily be available. You can get, like, courtside seats and box seats that would never be available to you. But thankfully, through this app and the updated technology, it's available with last second pricing. So download the GameTime app, go to the

account tab, create a login, and then use code KFC for $20 off your first purchase. Download GameTime. Last minute tickets. Lowest prices. Guaranteed. We had Barstool at the ballpark this weekend too, and I didn't know Zaha was going to be there. Had I known Zaha, I would have rearranged my whole schedule because I wasn't able

to make it, but Zaha was there doing shoeies. I was like Zaha, I would have rearranged my whole schedule because I wasn't able to make it. But Zaha was there doing shoeies. I was like, fuck. I wish I was there for that. But I had the kids all weekend long. You guys have had a lot of basketball ballparks, I feel like. It just happened. There's one per month, but the first, the April one, was at the end of the month, and then May one was at the middle.

So it felt like it was probably only three weeks. But it's usually once every four or five weeks. So the next one is June 20th or something like that in the 20s um but so i wasn't there for that i was with my kids the whole weekend and i had the friday night my my first real father daughter i like to call it that because i think daddy daughter sounds weird yeah yeah i didn't know that i mean that's me. It's a little you, but it's also... Between Alex Cooper,

between trends on Pornhub the last few years, just words I don't want to use in the same sentence. It's a father daughter dance. Right. I've always heard it. I've never heard it called daddy daughter. Unfortunately, I heard a bunch of that. Daddy daughter. But what happened was I went to one

before in my life. And in my mind, I was like, that was last year's. But it's not. It's like two or maybe like three years ago because of COVID. Yeah. So the last one I went to. That's weird, too, because I feel like I remember you going to one recently. But it was like at least two years ago. Right.

So that one was in like preschool. And it was just like in the school gym. Kind of. It was like show up at the school and kind of goof around a little bit this was at the country club because it goes k through eight so they were like k like kids you know wow so they were adults yeah well not you know i mean but like four yeah like like they were they were 14 year olds tell you what there were some non-virgins there that's what had me freaking out man there were this was pretty,

no, no, you just think about it. I mean, look, I would have been a virgin, but I just think, no, but the non-virgins are not going to that event.

They're like, dad, I'm going to go fuck my boyfriend, you know? I've seen Shameless. Oh no. Cause I thought it was weird just watching them. Like,

you know, my kid, my kid was playing tag and doing the arts and crafts and doing the photo booth. But the other girls are doing TikTok dances and shit. That ABCDFU song came on. I was like, holy shit, girls. But for little girls to be screaming, I was like, holy shit. And then they played My neck my back Shut up

There was one other song that I was like This is pretty inappropriate Those were very cute pictures you had We crushed the fucking I cried twice The first one was There's this girl who she hangs out with There's like two girls that are like a little bit mean girl, clicky, and sometimes exclude her.

And I know it upsets her. And that girl specifically came up to Shay and wanted to do the photo booth with her. But me and Shay were online. And she said, no, I have to do it with my dad first. And I was like, it's okay. You can go. She was like, no, I want to do it with you first. And I was like tearing up because of that.

Because I know how much this girl is like on a pedestal in Shay's eyes. And she still was like, no, I'm going to do it with you first. And I was like tearing up because of that. Because I know how much this girl is like on a pedestal in Shay's eyes. And she still was like, nope, I'm doing my dad first. And then I said, no, it's okay. And she was like, no, I'm doing you first. And then we'll get back online. I was like, oh, my God. And then the final song. It was really funny because I'm like, instead of dancing, she asked me to pick her up.

So she's like buying my head and telling her how much I love her. I'm getting all instead of dancing, she has me to pick her up. So she's like by my head. I'm telling her how much I love her. I'm getting all teary-eyed. And those things can go one of two ways in my mind. There are the dads who are like veterans who are like, this is my fifth one. I don't give a fuck. For me, it was like the first one that was real. And so I'm like emotional about it. But as I'm like kind of teary, there's a guy who had two daughters there.

And they're like climbing on him. And he was like get me the fuck out of here i was like all right like get it get it under control clancy come on relax but the rangers were on so some of the dads were watching that we all like had some beers and shit it was funny um but it was shea shea was so excited this is like right up her alley and going into it she was like um are you gonna dance with me at the father daughter dance i was like yeah of course and she was like and can i dance with my friends i was like yes absolutely and she was like and can you dance with me and my friends and i was like

let's draw the line there so we'll see what the other dads are doing because depends on they did do um they said all the dads line the dance floor, board the dance floor, get your phones out, film this for their mom or whatever, and they played Barbie Girl. And so we film it, and then the DJ is like, now let's switch. Girls, get on the outside, and the dads are going to dance for you. Are you guys ready for that and the girls were like yeah like screeching and they played the fucking ymca and i was like oh my god oh my god kill me now kill me now kill me now and then the beam more like you just dance like with the with your daughter but like doing the ymca with a bunch of other dudes while the girls are

supposed to be watching is fucking awkward bro fucking awkward yeah i was like that's one of you guys gotta go so in on it that like that's exactly i was like shay you come with me i'm gonna teach you the ymca we're not gonna we were doing the cha-cha slide together and shit it was fun but uh the like certain songs would come on that whatever, or the hot song in the moment, the collective screech from these girls, I was like, I think it hit a frequency that penetrated my brain just so loud

and so excited that Bieber came on or whatever the fuck it was. It's like, holy moly. This is before you need booze or anything to get going. Just having fun favorite songs on. Just having fun in life. Yes, just as pure as can be.

So that was my Friday night. I fucked up and didn't get the corsage. I didn't even know I was supposed to. I wouldn't guess you. I don't know what a corsage is. I mean, I know what it is, but I don't know what it symbolizes. But I would not think. For some reason, I just think it's a prom thing.

I guess this is kind of like a prom thing that's what i guess this is kind of like that's what's weird though like i don't know i guess it's kind of prom it is it's prom it's prom it's just you're doing really bad it's fucking weird but i a bunch of her friends had them and she didn't and i was like please don't notice please don't notice and she never did so i was like cool no noted for next year um so that was this is a big parenting episode we got Polly for you and me

we got to speak of parenting did you see DeStefano and Bert just crying I heard about this I had not seen it yet DeStefano tweeted they're like weeping

right weeping well I've heard I've heard both of them talk about it before Bert is very open about how much he missed growing up

and like still now his kids are older but he you know you know, he told us on, I think on our show, he was talking about it recently. He's like, I give my girls a kiss. I said, see you in a month. And just like, but he's also a fucking, you know, the most successful guy in the world, you know? So, but I, yeah, Chris was like, he told me that they like openly like balling.

Dude, big time. Yeah. And Bert's perfect too, because Bert's kind of laughing too. He's like. was like he told me that they like openly like ball like dude big time yeah and like birth birth because birth's kind of laughing too he's like that is great shit all right so let's get into our segments uh for really no reason just just like watch the world burn uh top five worst states in the new in the union uh brought to you by revitalite uh you want to to talk about the worst things in the world are hangovers.

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No hangover. Just doing it straight up. Which is also something you can do. You can have it as a regular... I like a nice Revitalite piss. It do it straight up. Which is also something you can do. You can have it as a regular... I like a nice Revitalite piss. It comes fast and furious. It's like... Revitalite...

I mean, here's the deal. Revitalite, if you're not dehydrated, you're just super hydrated. Hydrated. It's a very hydrating... Revitalite gets in the body and is usually used to saturating some dry desert. This time they're like, it's a party in here, baby.

We got electrolytes all over the fucking place. Just peeing nonstop, dude. And, of course, you got to drink the Barstool label, the black label. It's Revitalite Blue. Everyone knows that those drinks are the best when they're blue. It's Berry Frost is the flavoring. It's blue. Like, what flavor is that?

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When you wake up in the morning, finish it off. And when you're in bonus land, you'll be feeling good because of Revitalite. So get that today in-store at the Barstool Sports Store. Top five worst states. I'm going to have to pull myself up a map. What do we got? I'll go with five Alaska. Worst state in the Union, Alaska. Alaska's

pretty bad, man. Alaska, they pay you to live there. That's a true sign of how bad it is right like like no one else is gonna fucking come unless we unless we pay them and I don't know how real that is um I remember I had a friend it's very real I had a friend was like like her sister's gonna be like a pharmacist or something like that and then they it was like basically double the salary to go live in Alaska yeah I mean any any place that you have to worry about like this is the sunlight and sundown and those issues and the weather it's I do think it's quite pretty I was live in Alaska. Yeah, I mean, any place that you have to worry about, like, the sunlight

and sundown and those issues and the weather, it's cold. I do think it's quite pretty. I was going to say, they got, like, northern lights and shit.

That's fucking fire. I've seen pictures of it where I'm like, oh, that looks adorable. Very tranquil. Yeah. But, I mean, like... The coldest shit,

darkest shit, you know. It's like... How do we even have Alaska? That doesn't make any sense to me. It's so weird that we just got Alaska up there and Hawaii down there

and then we just own them. But then also you can walk to Russia, right? Yeah, there's a land bridge that I think can – I don't know if it still does, but it used to. That's how a lot of the migration happened. I don't like that. I don't like being that close to Russia. No, that's scary. That is scary.

Although it's not because Russia's a bunch of pussies apparently. You guys still haven't beaten Ukraine. This war has been going on about 100 times longer than anybody thought it would. I thought that was going to be like, good morning, good afternoon, good night. We have it over the weekend. There's this guy that I follow who gives a bunch of updates, and every day, he's like, it's day 83. Kiev is still in Ukrainian control.

I'm like, still? Jesus Christ. Are you guys even trying? Fuck. But Canada should just own Alaska. Canada should absolutely. It's just part of it. It touches it.

It's like right now, it's Canada's. That's one of those things like, would you rather your WNBA team win or find a dollar on the ground? Whatever you want to put it. Or would you rather give it to Canada? It's like, yeah, you can take Canada. I would absolutely. I don't know. One thing Alaska does for us.

Oil. I think. Canada, we're going to have to come back to the table on that one. Yeah. Okay. That's a pretty big one. That's a pretty big one. I'll give them that.

That's a big one. I am going to go with. Sorry, sorry. Speaking of Alaska, I read a tweet today that said, thinking about how Arctic and Antarctic just means bears, no bears. Yeah. There's only polar bears in one of them. I guess so, yeah. Only in North Pole.

But I bet there's others. Wait, is that literally what the words mean? No. No, it can't. I don't think Arctic means cold. Yeah, well, I mean, I think we think that, but... I'm going to see if I can pull up the tweet real quick.

No, it's just like relating to the North Pole. Very cold conditions. Yeah. That's kind of one of those things that's like... Oh, no, wait. Hang on. Well, let's see. The term is derived from the Greek Arctos bear. Yeah.

Referring to the northern constellation of the bear. Not like bears. It's like you can see the stars. Bear. Yeah. I get it. But so, yeah, the exact thing is thinking again about how the name is Arctic and Antarctica just means bears.

No bears. Yeah. But it's not. It has nothing to do with like if there's polar bears on the land. It has to do with the stars. But I don't know. Maybe it also does translate. I don't know where polar bears live and don't live.

Yeah. So I guess it plays both ways then, right? And then it says, what can be more human than coming to a place you've never been and saying, bears are here, then visiting a similar place and saying, no bears here. Okay. I'm going to go then with North Dakota. Yeah. North Dakota is a bad.

I mean, like, North Dakota is one of those ones that we're like, I guess Alaska is similar, where people are going to get mad about it. There's no money to get mad about it. People in North Dakota are like, yeah yeah you're fucking right dude even even their fucking one thing when people go see that one thing are like this fucking sucks why did i come to north dakota what do they have mount rushmore and everyone's like this is tiny and so then maybe that's why am i here maybe i could take south dakota then but i took north because it's obviously further north close to canada cold i think bro i don't know about that. I don't know.

I'm flirting with the idea of becoming strongly anti-summer. We've definitely become pretty close before. I hate the summer. Bro, I'm so uncomfortable already. We hit 70 degrees, and it was like this fucking sucks. I hate it, too. I went to T-Ball, and I'm sweating and hot because it was humid. And it was like 60 fucking sucks. I hate it too. I went to T-Ball and I'm sweating and hot because it was humid and I was like, it was like 60 fucking 8.

I was like, ugh, I'm already bothered. I'm going to hate. I don't know why this year in particular feels a little worse. I think we're getting older and fatter and grosser so the heat's worse and worse and worse. I just want to be in the AC. To me, it's like when it's cold and snowy, you want to stay in the house.

When it's hot and sunny, I want to stay in the house. Yeah. I'll go fucking fake tanning, so I'm not ugly. Straight up. But I think the Dakotas are where they do fracking or shilling or something like that. Hey, does anyone in here know what fracking is? Or is everyone telling the truth? No, but I think they make a boatload of money for it.

Because, again, it's the only way we're going to get you to come here to do this. I don't think fracking is or is everyone telling the truth? No, but I think they make a boatload of money for it. Because again, it's like the only way we're going to get you to come here to do this. I don't think fracking is real. I don't know what it means. I don't think it's real. I think it's probably real. I've never met a person who knows what fracking is. I think it's a fucking made up word, a made up thing. Yeah, but I've never met anybody from Alaska either. And guess what? It also

sounds even faker when you fucking start learning what it is. It's like we shoot water into the earth and that fucking pushes out fucking... Sounds like you do know what fracking is. I mean, I... It gets... Hang on. I'm gonna figure it out real quick.

I'll get to the bottom of this fracking thing pretty quickly. Fracking is the injection of a fluid at a high pressure into underground rock formation to open fissures, allow trapped gas or crude oil to flow through a pipe to a well out of the surface. And why are they crying about it? I don't know what that means.

What's that big pipe that they get mad about? Oh, that was the American pipeline? Yeah, I don't know. That was something, though. Something with the fucking American Indians and shit. The Americans, yeah. Listen, guys, you got the rawest fucking deal ever. We're not going to fix it now. We're pot committed listen, guys. I mean, you got the rawest fucking deal ever. We're not going to fix it now.

We're pot committed to this shit. You guys are just fucked. We're pot committed to this genocide. Yeah, like, it's way, it's way, the horse is so far out of the barn. There's no way we can even fix this. So just make some money with the fracking and the pipeline or whatever and shut up about it. Okay, my state, my pick? Number four, worst states. Wait, are you doing it that way?

What? Like you're counting down? Or did you think Alaska's like your first worst? Oh, I guess my first worst. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so number two, I don't know. These are all just, they all just suck, right?

There's so many. Dude, it's so easy to do worst states. You know what's harder? I was going to say top five best states. I could probably get to three. Yeah, maybe. I could. There are probably five states worth of fuck.

The, and we're all in the Northeast. The worst state I am going to go with. I mean, look, dude. If you could spin me around, give me a dart, I'll just throw it at the map. That one fucking sucks. But let's go with... I mean, look, dude. If you spin me around, give me a dart, I'll just throw it at the map. That one fucking sucks. But let's go with Arizona. Despicable

place. Yeah, well, I guess Riggs likes it. Riggs has a very high praise for it. Yeah, I guess it's cool for golf. We know that they don't like Martin Luther King. That's right. They don't do MLK. They don't do daily savings. They are kind of like they go on their own way.

They didn't they didn't even they didn't even tap the gas break. They didn't even tap the brake pedal for COVID. They didn't even slow down one fucking bit. I think they ramped up

live events and shit. I honestly I don't really it's not even really about the the people or the cultural pastimes in in uh in arizona that i don't like it's the uh i was trying to keep down a choke um it's it's their aesthetic i don't like i don't care if arizona's aesthetic that american southwest yeah i don't care if Arizona's aesthetic That American Southwest sort of thing

Yeah, I don't like the American Southwest Desert-y and cactus-y Yeah, like a lot of leathers Yeah I don't care for leather goods No, I don't like that either I don't care for leather wares No

The Bro I don't give a fuck I'm with you so far Arizona's got a lot of beads Right? Fucking I just wouldn't like to get dressed in Arizona clothes. Arizona clothes are terrible.

Phoenix Suns, their logo kind of stinks. They have those like rug type shirts, right? Yep. Like with the triangle like design. Sure. I had one of those for a while. I'll tell you what, they do have Arizona iced tea. I don't think it has anything to do with the state of Arizona, but Arizona iced tea is

the GOAT. It's fine. A little too sugary for me. Yeah, but when you're young, it's fine. All that shit gets a little bit too much. They're getting a lot of praise these days. Them and the Costco hot dogs. The only two things remaining unaffected by inflation, although that is... I have seen people who beg

to differ that the Arizona iced tea because they are some places that pups stick around. But in New York, you're not getting... The fact that New York stays 99 cents is nuts. differ that the arizona is t because they are some places that yeah but like but like in new york you're not getting the fact that new york stays 99 cents is nuts everything expensive here you know speaking of choking i choked for the first time like for real at a restaurant yeah what do you what's the peanut gallery tackling about uh you ever like choke like i'm not gonna get any air into my lungs uh i don't

know that i have i got some bread stuck in there and i like i kind of was like and i was like oh wait that didn't do it and i had like a full-blown coughing fit where i needed but they were like little coughs i needed to stop inhale enough air and then cough it out and i like couldn't get to that and i finally did and it like kind of high licked its way out like it shot out of my mouth inhale enough air, and then cough it out. And I couldn't get to that. And I finally did. And it kind of high-mixed its way out. It shot out of my mouth and I felt it. But there was a good chunk of time where I was like,

I don't know what I'm about to do. It's going to be super embarrassing if someone needs to actually do something to me or if I'm going to dig it out with my finger or whatever. But I had bread that was almost in my fucking lungs. It was super, super embarrassing embarrassing but nobody even noticed i'm sitting outside and i was like coughing a lot for like a solid people know 30 second count yeah why i turned i turned the first thing i did after surviving i'm a survivor now i'm putting my twitter buyer so stutter buyer survivor i turned to every other table and i was like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And nobody was even fucking looking at me. I was like, I almost just died. Like if it was any worse,

I would have died because no one was ready to fucking help me. I'm not sorry. Yeah, Arizona. The aesthetic you think. I am going to go with this is a big one. We did this before. Missouri. Missouri is a tough one. You mean anything M-I-S-S you can throw on the list.

Kick rocks. Missouri is just the state of nothing. They have St. Louis, right? And that's it. I don't give a fuck about that. The Cardinals are good sometimes. The Blues won that one time. Other than that, fuck them.

They are just like a... You're kind of in the south but you're not but you're also not like midwest you're just like you're literally nothing i think you have a river that's a big deal and that's about it and it just makes me want to puke i feel like missouri people missouri kind of stink i know that like uh yeah you got like st louis but i think like east st louis is like the worst fucking place in the world. It's like Fallujah. I just think you stink, Missouri. Dude, there is – I'm trying to find it. My great-grandfather was from Missouri.

Also, like Missouri is one of those – Missouri is one of those states where the state should be St. Louis. You know what I mean? Like Missouri. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like you're from St. Louis. St. Louis, Missouri? No, just like St. Louis.

I forget. I'm trying to find it, but I can't find it. I guess – I thought it was like a famous quote, but maybe it was just his own quote. So I'm going to misquote it. But it was like he'd say, I'm from Missouri where pigs are raised on peaches. Poverty is unknown. And it's the only state in the union with two federal reserves or whatever. That's your pitch?

Two federal reserves or whatever. That's your pitch? Two federal reserves? Wow. Grandpa, can we go to the second federal reserve today? We sure can, kiddo, because we got two. Whatever, dude. By the way, he's from Missouri but lived in New Orleans and Saratoga. Also, I don't like – yeah, come on. Why did you like it so much?

If you liked it so much, why did you leave? He went to state. I also don't like how they say, like, Missouri. Yeah, Missouri. Missouri. It's like Louisville. I'm from Louisville. Is it Louisville or Louisville?

I went to Louisville. Fucking losers. All right. Number three is going to be... I'll follow with you. I'll go Mississippi here. Mississippi. Yeah, yeah.

I was going to say... Hey, you want to know why? Brad Walker. I don follow with you. I'll go to Mississippi here. Mississippi. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say... And you want to know why? I don't know why. That's why. I don't even know why it's not good. I can't even make fun of you, bro. Because I don't know

fucking shit about you. Yeah, that's a shitty place. I will go with... I do know that the... I don't know if it was the Dixie Boys or what tour they went there on,

but they said it was... Starkville was hands down the worst place they ever went. Starkville just sounds awful to me. Starkville sounds like to get into the town limits, they make you say the N-word. Confederate flags are just flying.

From Starkville. Dude, you are. If you're from really any kind of ville, I feel like. You know what I'm going to go with? West Virginia. West Virginia. Which I think is.

We are just clipping off where coworkers live. Yeah, yeah. But that's partially why. Because everything I've heard from West Virginia. I picture West Virginia to be the absolute poorest place on the planet. I picture West Virginia being like fucking, you know, like the Middle East, like third world country.

But here's the thing about West Virginia is it's like, it's geographically in the wrong spot. Like in my mind, you're touching Pennsylvania. You're touching Ohio. You're touching Maryland. Right.

But it sucks. It's pretty damn close. It's one state removed from New York. So it should be deeper. It should also be like South Virginia. There should be a spot that's beneath regular Virginia. North Carolina should be called South Virginia. And it should be like the gross.

That's where we get all the gross. Wheeler. What's it? Wheeler? Yeah, math. Wheeler. Yeah, that's where we get all the gross Wheeler. What's it? Wheeler? Yeah, math. Wheeler. Yeah, that's where Nick's from, right? Terrible.

So weird that he's from there because I feel like he doesn't fit in. It's like a suburb of Pittsburgh. Like Wheeling, West Virginia is like a suburb of Pittsburgh. Yeah, that's not good. I want to say, I don't know if it's exactly that, but I want to say it's within a half hour. Is Pittsburgh in southern Pennsylvania? I definitely thought western, but I don't know. Yeah, because then it's not really a suburb.

It's pretty far away unless it's like... I want to say he said it was like a half hour to 45 minutes away. Interesting. That means that's... I don't know where Pittsburgh is. I don't know if that's quite a suburb, but whatever. I forgot what I was going to say. Yeah, I've been to West Virginia once.

It is not good. Yeah, I mean... It was going to say Yeah I've been to West Virginia once It is Not good It was exactly as advertised The only place I could eat was an Applebee's And I ate there every fucking meal And we walked in there By the way it's southern and western I thought it was northern

Every time you guys have gone there for like Content it sounds like yeah you find One place that's like sustainable And then you go to that one strip club content it sounds like yeah you find one place that's like sustainable and then you go to that one strip club and it's like whatever that's it all you can do the you hope to stay alive it is the yeah it is like oh this is such a ignorant podcast they can smell they can smell the blue state on us yeah oh yeah they call you a pussy and a cock and an f-word and all that shit yeah big time big time. Just keep me in the corner and maybe say the N-word. Every state we're listening to.

Say it, boy. I will go with... Nope, I'm gone. Oh, sorry. Oh, right. Okay, I'm going to go with... Is this your fourth? Yeah, I'm going to go with Florida.

Yeah. And I don't think that's... It's not for the reasons that you would think with like Florida man and all that stuff. It's because people you're friends with in your hometowns who sucked would always vacation in Florida. They thought they were, like, ritzy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm going to Orlando this weekend. Like, sick. I have 20 bucks, too. Right. But what about things like, you know, there are some, like, you know, like, what, like, Jupiter Island or some shit? Yeah, I'm sure. It's like, ritzy as fancy as. But it doesn't matter if you're in Florida.

Right. Right. It's like, you still share that with, like, the panhandle, bro. Yeah. You know, that's fucking gross. Look, I lived in Florida for two years. It fucking. Yeah, it sucks.

It sucks. And it's hot, and the weather sucks. Dude, I... You just sweat. People don't fucking appreciate getting to change your outfits. Yeah. I think even people who don't really care about clothes... The seasons, man.

...don't put together how much, like, little interest that puts in your day. Like, what am I going to wear today? Right, right, right. There's just something. Yeah. It's not just, like, shorts and a t-shirt. Shorts and a t-shirt. A pair of Costa Del Reyes. Costa Del Mar's. Costa Del It's not just like shorts and a t-shirt. Shorts and a t-shirt. It's a pair of Costa Del Reyes.

Costa Del Mar. Costa Del Mar. I was such a frat fucking loser. Yeah, you are. This is my fourth? Yes. I think Kentucky sucks. Probably.

Probably. I think Kentucky sucks. Fuck you. I'm going to give a second of my time in this fucking finite life I lead to thinking about Examining Kentucky. Because here's the thing. Tennessee. Cool.

Music. You know. Sure. Right, I guess. There's music there. And like. You know, music. I got the music. And like, I'm looking at's music there. And like... You know, music. I got the music.

And I'm looking at the surrounding states. Well, I'm just saying, even some of the places I don't like in the South might have great barbecue, right? Or something like that. When is Kentucky out? Bourbon? And the best...

What we're seeing here is a common theme of the N-word. I mean, the best... I didn't say whiskey, but I don't know, man. I'm drinking my Vermont fucking whiskey now, and I don't need your fucking bourbon down there. You know, Kentucky. Basketball. Don't care about that. You know, you're like Tennessee, but not.

That's Kentucky. Tennessee, but not. We're just on top of Tennessee. All right. I'm going to go with... How about for your last one, it's got to be... No, you did Florida. You're good. You should have one state that's kind of a state that...

We have to pretend one matters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. I'll go this one. I guess this one, this is kind of the opposite of the N-word stuff we've been saying. Oregon. Yeah, fuck. I was going to do that, too.

I think Oregon's a pretty worthless fucking state. Is Portland in Oregon or Washington? Oregon. Yeah, so yeah. I do, I do, I do. Yeah, that's like, yeah, the hippie bullshit. That crunchy granola fucking, I was going to take that. That's a good one.

It's where Andy's from, so shout out Andy Hayes. But the, what do you do? Why can't I grab my phone? It's not working today? Yeah. No, that came. Why do you know, what does that mean? I couldn't open a spotlight today like my hands is like

it was at the time they're better now but i couldn't like squeeze i couldn't pinch and it was like i was trying to like stab it with a i couldn't i couldn't clench my hands it was weird those fat hooves of yours it's like yeah no kidding kidding. Can a fucking horse bend its hoof? No. But yeah, I think that I really don't like any of the states. I don't fucking know anything about you, dude. I don't care about you. I don't think about you. When forced to list a state of the most random states, I randomly choose you because of how pathetic I think you are.

That's it. I will go with... This is my last pick? Yeah. You know, there's... Here's the thing. Idaho and Montana are like nothing, but they don't bother me. Montana actually has beautiful Yellowstone and all that shit, right? Idaho is harmless. There's nothing going on there, but it don't bother me. Montana actually has beautiful Yellowstone and all that shit, right? Idaho is harmless.

There's nothing going on there, but it's just like it's there. The other states, you could pick Idaho because it's boring or whatever, but it doesn't bother me, you know? I'm trying to figure out what bothers me. And I think I'm going to have to go with New York. New York? New York. I was going to say Jersey.

No, because Jersey's like the Jersey Shore. New York New York? New York I was gonna say Jersey So No Cause Jersey's Like the Jersey Shore The coastline of Jersey's Fucking awesome Yeah You're thinking about Seaside Heights

And a couple of those spots That suck The rest are like Beautiful beaches There's tons of You know the whole Fucking state is coastline So there's tons of beaches

But that would be Whereas the People of I had a problem With the people of Arizona I had a Issue The aesthetic

With the aesthetic The reputation Yeah The people of Arizona. I had an issue with the aesthetic. The reputation. The people of New Jersey, I don't care for. Yeah, and also you go inland. Inland Jersey is like... That was wild. I was trying to hold down a choke again.

I'm so tired right now. Most of the ones I've met are very pleasant. Well, if you go inland, you get to like Pennsylvania. You know what I mean? You get to some of the sticks of Pennsylvania. So it's like some of New Jersey can be like hillbilly, and then some of it is like Guidos. What is that now?

Hold on. Yeah, I know. But New York is kind of shitty, man. Like the vast majority of New York sucks. Yeah. That very, very, very little speck at the bottom is important. And then everything after that is garbagio. Everyone else has that New York arrogance, too. Yeah.

It's like, I'm from New York. No. We're from different. You're from Albany. You're from Binghamton. You're from, I'm from New York. No, we're from different. You're from Albany. You're from Binghamton. You're from Tuxedo, New York. Like, some of these places absolutely fucking suck. Where fucking

Pasco, Oswego? Yeah. Yeah, all those SUNY schools where it gets cold and it's like, they're like kind of hillbillies, but they're super. You're from fucking Utica, dude. You're from Utica. You sound like a fucking UTI. I was gonna say, it sounds like a piece of woman's anatomy yeah

it's just because it has UTI right but still but Ithaca where did your ass go to school first Brockport yeah Brockport even the way he said that he goes Brockport

right next to Rochester in between Rochester Rochester sucks all these places suck there's one spot here's what I will say New York City while being the dumpster that it is is is obviously just so important and all that shit.

Long Island is much like New Jersey. It has a bad reputation. Hold in your yawns. But Long Island, the good parts of Long Island are fucking spectacular. Nice parts of the Hamptons are beautiful beaches, coastlines, nautical towns, all that shit. So minus Long Island, the rest of New York fucking sucks dick. So top five worst states in the union. I want to see the argument for all 50.

I want everyone to complain enough that I can think, that place sucks, and that place sucks, and that place sucks. Is there a place that would universally not be on the list? Because even like, I can make the case for Hawaii. It's like, first of all, you might get covered in lava.

Second of all, everything is fucking expensive there, you know? Everything's imported and so expensive. But like, if you're probably- That's also just far away.

It's far, but if you live there, it's not, you know what I'm saying? Ah, yes. So like, do you think that there's any state that would be universally not in the bottom

five? Massachusetts. There's plenty of people who can put that in the bottom five. I think that it's pretty rare. If you think about it, there is really, like, Massachusetts has everything. Whatever you want to do, you can do it in Massachusetts. What?

Yeah. I don't think so. Oh,. What? Yeah. I don't think so. Oh, yeah. Big time. I don't think so at all. Big time. I mean, there are a good amount of states in the Northeast that have that, where you can go to the beach and you get the variety. Yeah.

But there's some fucking, like, Northwestern Mass is just some fucking people you don't want to follow. Yeah. Once you cross the 495 barrier, once you get, it's like, all right. There's so many states like that. It's like, here's good. You cross here, you're not good. Yeah.

So fuck them. Fuck all the states. Even the weather. Fuck this country, man. Even the weather is like, we are very different on either side of the 495 barrier. Really? Yeah. It's like Mother Nature knows.

Yeah. All right. So let us know. We're States in the Union. Let's get into our voicemails and then to Polly Voicemails today brought to you by Priceline Negotiator Shout out to William Shatner

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planning and paying for the vacation. I'll tell you, most of the reason I don't go on vacation is the planning of it where it's like, I just don't want to do this and I don't want to do this and I'm going to get like,

it's going to be more expensive than it should be so I'm just not going to. Go to Priceline, they can handle it for you and you get done, bingo, bango, bongo. Next thing you know, you're on the beach. Next thing you know, you're on the mountain. Next thing you know, you're at the place you want

to be. All these states that are good to visit, and you can do it quick and easy at Priceline. Visit Priceline.com for the best deals that will help you get the most of your trip. Hey, what's up, you guys? Trade God, Wordle Kid here. I watched Despicable me 2 the other day

uh and i have a grievance to air i don't know who wrote that movie uh but in the off chance that they listen to this show right now i have a question for you what the fuck did you just forget that the blonde sister was like a thing because the difference in screen time between her and the little one is crazy and i know that edith is the one that like puts asses in seats but like were you trying to get her an oscar i mean she had a line like every three minutes and he is just like wields a sword and that's just her thing but i don't know pisses me off but anyways uh what's a what's a secondary character from a tv show or movie that you wish was developed further? Love it.

Great question. That was great. I honestly thought that was just going to be about Despicable Me. Me too. And I was fine with it. It would have been great. It would have been totally fine. I don't know who Edith is.

I don't know. But now I trust that guy. I trust that guy with my life. Despicable Me? Is that what you said? Despicable Me 2. Okay. So that's a cartoon.

You know what we should do they use swords in that you know what we should do is make an internet short called Despicable Me 2 and it's about the Me 2 movement instead of little cute minions

it's about despicable rapists like you want to know the real Despicable Me 2 Harvey Weinstein that's the real Despicable Me 2? Harvey Weinstein. That's the real Despicable Me 2. That's funny. Yeah, that's a funny idea. I've done March Madness bracket back in the day of secondary characters.

There's a secondary character and a character who's not developed. A secondary character is developed, I think. Well, but he's not a secondary character that you wish was developed more. Yeah. So are we doing, like, bit characters, or are we doing, like, secondary characters? I think that I would think it's more of a bit character you kind of thought was more. Okay. Okay.

Because, like, in that list, like, Andy Bernard was on that list, I think, right? Like, that's a character. Yeah. My answer for that is always Mike Herman Trout. I think that there should have been called. I think Better Call Saul should never have been made. I think that a show called No Half Measures should have been made, and it's about Mike Ehrmantraut's life as a Philadelphia cop

and how he goes from good dude to how he breaks bad. One thing that would scare me about that is that so much of Mike Ehrmantraut is Jonathan Banks, and he can't play younger. The young guy. Well, that's why you would have to knock it out of the park with the young cast. That is also why it's funny with Better Call Saul. It's like everyone's just pretending that they're not 20 years older than they were. It's been a long time, guys.

So a bit character then I would say this is a tough one like like Daryl from The Office yeah but even he kind of gets his he gets his shot not to the full extent but yeah

it definitely Daryl's a good answer Daryl's a strong answer the the thing is I'm going through Sonny characters, and Sonny does a great job. There really isn't anyone like... Bill Ponderosa could get it. Yeah, but I mean... Pondy is the coolest.

Pondy is awesome. A show called Pondy is the coolest, and it's just Bill Ponderosa getting fucked up, banging whores and stuff. Dude, when he, when he decides he's going to kill himself that day is one of my favorite episodes. When he's just,

just, the episode of Through the Eyes of Frank, which I know is very polarizing, I think is very funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When he's, when he's just like Pondy,

Pondy, he's talking about, I mean, it's just, to me, that's fucking hilarious. But, Pondy,

I think is, McPoyles, McPoyles spinoff? The McPoyles, I mean, they all, they all, like a McPoyles. McPoyles spinoff. The McPoyles, I mean, they all... Like a McPoyles origin story. Like, how did they become that? They were like that their whole lives. Remember, they make... I guess they didn't do it when they were younger.

Never mind. I was thinking they make up the molestation. Yeah. I was thinking that was something that the plot started that when they were younger. God, man, I'm trying to think of more shows I watch here. This is fucking... Back in the day... It's also a be careful what you wish for thing.

Yes. Because they are such good... As standalone as it is. They're great. Maybe more as little boys. You've got to flesh it out and have them be like the star. It's like, well, we've got to write... We had the small anecdotal shit that was really good. to flesh it out and have him be like the star you know it's like well we got to write you know we

had the small anecdotal shit that was really good like that's why uh back in the day frazier coming from cheers was like a monster you know and he was frazier in cheers dr frazier crane he's just like you know one of the guys at the bar in cheers and then i've started like you got like a fucking like 13 season show frazier was a monster a monster. But I've watched Cheers. I've probably seen a couple of seasons of it. It's great. It's unbelievable. Yeah.

But it is. It's the same thing. It's insurmountable. It's like we did 15 seasons of 30 episodes a season. That is nuts. How the fuck am I going to watch all that? Yeah, no. It feels.

It's a daunting task. It is. But what's funny is. Although I was also very impressed with, I think maybe even season three four whatever it is there's like uh the gay episode oh and it was like out of their time it was like there's a gay they find out there's a gay guy in the bar and it's like i was like oh boy i don't know yeah yeah and and uh fucking mayhem maybe sam aloneone? Is it Mayhem? No, it's Ted Danson.

No, no, Sam Malone is his name. It's the character's name. But I forget his nickname. Whatever. Oh, oh, oh. But it is. So the guy who plays Mayhem plays. No, no, no, no, no, no.

But he, Mayday, Mayday, Mayday Sam Malone. Because he was a disaster on the mound. Right. And it was the, he was like, he's like, no, he's like, anyone can drink in my bar. I'm like, I don't fucking care. And I was like disaster on the mound. Right. And it was the... He was like, no, anyone can drink in my bar. I was like, wow. Progressive. Look at you guys.

At that point in time. Accepting humans as humans. Very well done. What is funny, the way you said to be careful what you wish for is like, if you were to look at Cheers, people probably want like a Norm spinoff or a Cliff Clavin spinoff. But they go with Frasier, who was a good character on that show, but you don't think, like, I need to know more about the pussy fucking psychiatrist guy on the show. And then Frasier becomes like a smash.

Have you ever watched Frasier? Yeah. Is it good? Yeah. No. No? It's one of those shows, like, back when you watched Must See TV, you just watched it because you watched it.

Yeah. And, like, watched it because you watched it. There's good writers on it. I don't know. They had his weird brother. I think it was Niles or something like that. The dad was funny. The dad was like a Mike Ehrmantraut kind of guy. He was like a war veteran, walked with a cane, had a bullet in his hip.

He was like a rough and tough Massachusetts guy. Now he has these two Seattle hipsters. That was funny. And there was a dog. But no, it's not really good. It doesn't hold up to TV like today. But back then it was fine. Voodoo Tatum.

I think he's another good one. What's that? Voodoo Tatum is the quarterback from New Orleans. It's Friday Night Lights. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He plays for the other school. What's up? He plays for the other school. Yeah, but he got displaced by Katrina.

Right. And then he shows up in Dylan. I don't know, maybe his life in New Orleans. You know what? If you want to do bit characters in Breaking Bad, Bill Burr and Huel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that combo running around.

Huel gets in Better Call Saul. Right, right, right. I mean, it's not like an origin story, but he's in. Right. I think he's just. You know who does this really good is like the Disney shit, like the Mandalorian and all that, and everybody gets like their spinoff.

Too many people, probably. All right, tweet at us who you think the best bit character is. Next up. Hey, guys, what's up? I was just watching your last episode where Pavs was talking about walking that amputee 14 blocks down the streets in New York, and it reminded me of a time that I was delivering pizza back in the day for Domino's when I was 17 years old.

So I was pulling up to a gas station before I started my shift, and I needed to fill up with some gas, obviously, and some big sweaty dude in a suit and a briefcase, he came and approached me right after I was done filling up, and he asked me if I could drive him five or six blocks down the street to the strip mall in my town that was kind of a sketchy-ish mall, and he said that it was an important business meeting. And I panicked a little bit, and then I was like, yeah, sure, yeah, you can get in.

And so he got in my car, and I quickly drove down the street, took him to the mall, dropped him off. And when he got out, he looked at me, and he's like, oh, let me go inside, and I'll grab some money for you, and I can pay you back. And I was still in a mild state of panic, so I was like, no, no, no, it's okay, I'm just going to take off, and I'm going to go to work. And he was like, no, no, no, I'll pay you. And I was like, no, no, no, it's okay. I'm just going to take off and I'm going to go to work. And he was like, no, no, no, I'll pay you. And I was like, no, it's okay.

I'm going to take off. And so, yeah, that was that. So worse than Pavs? Yes or no? I think letting someone in your car is kind of weird. It is an extension of your home. Yeah, that's like, you know, I don't know. That guy, like, pulls out a gun and says, like, I don't know, that guy like pulls out a gun and says like,

I don't know, we're driving to fucking, you're taking me somewhere now, you know what I mean? Like, you can almost like do more behind the doors of a car in a weird way. Like, at least passers out in public, nothing bad's gonna happen. I feel like you get in a car with someone, you don't know what's going on. I was thinking that he was gonna drive him to like a robbery, so I guess he got out pretty okay. Yeah. I don't think I would ever.

But I've hitchhiked before. Have you? Yeah. Full blown? Damn it, mom says it in this episode. Not, not, that wasn't, that But I've hitchhiked before Have you? Yeah Full blown Damn it Mom says it in this episode That was a selective hitchhiking But I full blown hitchhiked But it's on my vineyard

It's like Like a beach bum Like get me home When we were younger That's how we got around Yeah Like you just jump in the back Like I think nowadays

Like in the fucking Some of these These pacific states That we talk about These shitty states in America If you were out On the side of the road and still putting your finger out,

you're a fucking psycho. But it's almost like, who's crazier? Those resort neighborhoods are like, that's just how you feel. Right, that's different. But who's crazier, the people who pick up hitchhikers or the people who hitchhike? People who hitchhike.

No. No, no, no, disagree. People who pick them up and people who are like, I'm going to kidnap this guy, basically. I think that, I do get that there are times. Because you are signaling like, I have no phone or no service, no means, no nothing. That's a guy –

No one who cares for me. I can poof and disappear this guy and no one is going to know. Yeah. But I can see this, the idea of being like bored. You're like, ah, I've been driving for 12 hours. Yeah, like a trucker who picks you up. It sucks. But like, I don't know.

Jump in for a little bit. My dad hitchhiked from like northwest Pennsylvania to New York City to like start his life in New York. Crazy. What? Like he was like, I'm done here. I want to leave. He grew up in Meadville, Pennsylvania. Called it Panseltucky because it was like the sticks.

And he was like, I'm out of here. And I'm not coming back. And I think he went like with a fucking stick and bindle on his shoulder. But he was just like, he just left. Imagine that just being like, close the door and being like, I begin my journey. Like he's a fucking hobbit, you know? And then he just hitchhiked his whole ass way from, you know, northwest Pennsylvania all the way to New York City.

How long did that take him? I don't even know. He probably was like banging people along the way and shit too. Knowing him. Wacko. That's the way he ended up with a monkey probably. Who fucking knows. But nowadays I think you're a fucking

psychopath if you do that. By the way, that's nowhere near as bad as Pabst though. Sorry, just like I know there is something a little more danger to letting someone in your car. It's just intimate. It's five more intimate, but five blocks? Yeah.

Yeah, that's like zip, zip, you're done. Five hours in the car? Yeah. There's 14 blocks on foot? I just walked like 20 minutes. Pavs had like a date with that guy. Dude, honestly, you're probably longer than 20 minutes. Probably a half hour, right?

A total of an hour because I checked there and back. A car is legit like zip. That little didn't affect that dude's day at all. Right, right. It affected your life, bro. I got swamp ass from it. Yeah, now that is...

But I think maybe there's an argument to be made about like social aspect of it, but like the physical, like time and all that shit is still past. Ballpark. Alright, last voicemail is brought to you by Manscaped.

This is another thing my dad learned about while he was drinking beers and watching NCIS. Manscaping. Yeah, I think he must have been a boxer and he was just reading it. Has he ever? I don't know the answer to that. I'm glad I don't. But like, it's one of those things that it's gotta stop.

Like your body has to know to stop, right? Or does it just keep growing? I think it knows to stop. So you can't just have like a full fucking afro down there? Yeah. Where does it stop? Mine stops pretty young. I've definitely had mine stop. You got young hair down there yeah

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we don't work here and i was like hold on no no i got this i got you i got you so i went off turned off his air condition great couple great couple fantastic pleasure at the time they had a nice conversation with me after they didn't just use me for the electricity turn, which was nice. Made me feel classy. But yeah. Goys are for the boys. And also, shout out Sad Boy Season. Bro, but it's not boys are for the boys.

It's Saturdays are for the goys. You fucked it up. You dummy. Saturdays doesn't rhyme with goys. Boys rhymes with goys. What an idiot. But this guy was basically a goys? Yeah, he was a goy. He was a Shab with goys. Boys rhymes with goys. What an idiot. But this guy was basically a goys? He was a goy?

Yeah, he was a goy. He was a Shabbos goy. That would be... I would feel very cool to get to be a goy. Like they trust me to come into their house and to turn off their electricity. And that is... I don't know what happens. Like, so first of all, those doors are electric.

So to touch the door kind of feels like you lose electricity. Second of all, I know I said it in the video, it's like who you call, but, like, is a phone not electricity? These are. Old school phones are, like, technically, I think, like, mechanical. Really? But, like, because I think you can I Think if the power goes out you can still call from landlines

I guess I don't really remember like seeing a plug like a pot. I mean like that. Yeah, cuz it's a jack It's a phone jack. Yeah, you don't like the phone jacks. There's a wires in that That's what I mean, but like but also even like even like running water. It like your your faucet's not like electrical but like somewhere along the lines there's pumps and shit in the city like almost everything you touch somewhere along the line electricity is going to help you out you know but it depends on how strict you are i guess yeah i mean if you're crazy strict that's. If you're not flipping light switches, you are out of your fucking gourd, dude. But what do you think a comparable insanity to that with Catholicism would be? Not eating meat on Fridays is lunacy.

Yeah. Fasting in general. I did that all through high school. It sucked. Fasting is nuts. Fasting in general I did that all through high school It sucked Fasting is nuts Not eating food Fasting is nuts Nuts

But that's all like Yeah I guess I mean for sure The people who wear like Who like Whip them That's crazy I think

Let me think I'm just trying to like Think of like There's basic things And I'm like You're crazy I think like You know

Not saying the Lord's name in vain is crazy. People think that like saying God damn is like a problem. I think. You get a lot. Yeah. I hate the Catholic Church. There's definitely just a bunch of things. I'm like, really?

You do that? Like, it's nuts. I mean, communion is crazy. Communion is like people believe you're eating and drinking the flesh and blood. That is some satanic cult shit. True, we're doing magic tricks up here. Right. It doesn't make any fucking sense at all.

Ashes, crazy. Ashes are nuts. I do it as a joke. Palm Sunday shit is crazy. Stations of the Cross, crazy. Easter. Resurrection from the dead and all that shit, crazy. All of it's nuts.

And yet, your kids are in Catholic school. Yep. Oh, yeah, definitely. Oh, man. Shay had a great one. I got to start doing a show like Late Night Thoughts with Shay. She just goes to me. Actually, I have the exact video.

Hang on. She just gets these things in her head and needs to like, you know, learn about them. And she, like there was the one about the tornadoes, right? But then there's ninjas was the latest. What did you say, baby? A ninja. Say, what about it? Wait, is like a ninja bad?

Is a ninja a bad guy? Like a type of stranger? If you don't know the ninja and the ninja is a stranger, then yeah, you should stay away from it. But if you know the ninja and you know that the ninja's nice, then you can go near it. But it's a good idea to stay away from it. But if you know the ninja and you know that the ninja's nice, then you can go near it.

But it's a good idea to stay away from ninjas. Where do ninjas live? Um, I don't know where ninjas live. Ninjas can live anywhere. They practice and they train in order to become ninjas, so it can happen anywhere. But not in New York? Um, there's not that...

I don't think there's many ninjas in New York. Probably more in Japan. How many hours away from New York is Japan? She just doesn't want to run to a ninja. That's all she's trying to figure out here. How many fucking... How many hours away... Well, I just never see one. Yeah, I don't, I just never see one.

Yeah. I just never see one. Yeah. I've never seen a ninja either. So you don't have to worry. Okay. Okay. Because I just heard the word.

I don't know. I've just been thinking about them. She worries about tornadoes. She worries about trees falling down. She worries about tornadoes. She worries about trees falling down. She worries about ninjas. She wants to know if Thor is a good guy or a bad guy. Like late at night when I'm putting her to bed, it is a fucking show. I don't know.

I just saw them and I just was thinking about them. I'm like, I don't know. At first, I was trying to be obviously very like, I was like, no, ninjas can be good and ninjas can be anywhere. But then when I realized it's because she's afraid of them, I was like, no, ninjas are in Japan. They're very far away. It's only Asians. They're bad guys. Stay away from them.

It's fine. All right. It's the time we've all been waiting for. Polly Feidelberg makes her appearance on KC Radio. This is after, what, 33 years of Feidelberg in her life? John Feidelberg in her life? 35. Not 35, are you? No Feidelberg in her life? 35. Not 35, are you?

No. Oh, but my dad's 35. No, I meant you. Well, also, they got married 35 years ago. I'm talking about you. Yeah, well, I'm 33. 33. After, you know, countless stories, the torture you put her through,

the things that you've done to her, the things that she's instilled in you. It's all of it right here with Pauly Feidelberg on KC Radio. It's brought to you by 3G. You know, maybe hit the vape pen, maybe pop a gummy, eat an edible, mix up that powder in the drink now that you can mix up with your water and get high because this one's going to be a doozy. And I can't imagine some Delta 8 up in your body. Got that THC in you while you're listening to this one.

It's a doozy. You can go to 3G.com. That's the number three. CHI.com. Use promo code STOOL5. Get 5% off plus a free sticker. You got to be 21 or older to purchase. They've got the edibles, vapes, the drink enhancers, tinctures, and more.

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go to three cheat.com promo code stool five to get 5% off. All right. I said, this is the most nervous i've been for an interview what are your nervous levels i i'm no because i know you're your mom you're just running this okay i got i got nothing but it's got to be a little different for you right of course very different okay are you nervous uh yeah yeah i going to loosen up, though. I'm preparing. Okay. Internally. I'm prepping.

We can get the whiskey out. Right now, I'm prepping. Well, I said I'm nervous almost because it's such a highly anticipated interview. Okay, let's not do that. I'm just like, I don't want to forget anything or miss anything. I don't want it to come out and people will be like, how could you not bring up this or that? Which is definitely going to happen. Well, there's just so much history we'd have to have like a 10-hour interview to get everything whose history are we going over well i guess we

go over everybody's who knows no but i mean well you know we've this is in june will be our 10th year doing this and i always joke crazy right i mean i can't even count the episodes it's got to be in the thousands and i always joke that like once a week he'll tell me a story that i'm like how the hell have you not told me that story yet like 10 years in you just dropped this on me and it's just because it sounds like he has led one of the weirdest lives ever and you guys that's our normal i guess that's the question. Is it normal? Well, first of all, do you ever listen to the show? Have I ever? I have not.

You never even did? No. Okay. Yeah, my mom and the family. That was what I said when I first started the part. I got the internship, and I was like, never read anything, never looked at anything. We're the same way. So pretty good.

I never listened. He told me not to listen. I don't think you gave it to him. Well, dads are different. Yeah, you didn't give it to him like you gave it to me. No, I vividly remember telling you, I was standing at the top of the stairs in the kitchen at the old house, and you were putting dishes away or something. And I was like, so I'm going to be an intern at Barstool.

Never, ever look at anything, ever. Yeah. And I probably didn't give it to him as clearly, but he's violated that on numerous occasions. I don't know what it is, but people from our generation of Barstool all were the same way. Didn't want parents, sisters, girlfriends reading it. That's why we used anonymous names at first.

I remember you getting mad at me about that. No, you never did. I know. That was on me. Your name isn't whatever. It's a Smith. When we started, I said you can have a job, but you have to use your name. Why whatever it's a smith yeah well that's why so when we started i said you can have a job but you have to use you have to use your name why did you say that because at the time

everybody assumed that fidelberg was a jewish last name yeah and at that point i was the only non-jewish guy so at that point i was the only guy i was the only guy i was the only gentile you did it for yourself oh yeah definitely yeah, definitely. Because at that point, it was almost like a little storyline that it was like I was the only Christian. It was a Boston Catholic guy, but a New York Catholic guy, but a Boston Jewish guy. It should have all been reversed. And so I just thought it would be a funny storyline that now I have a Jewish guy working under me. And he just emailed me back and was like, well, I'll use my name, but I'm not Jewish. And I was like, what? And it use my name, but I'm not Jewish.

And it makes sense once you realize they're German and a lot of those names sound the same. Which Dave still thinks is a lie. Dave will still be like, Feilberg says he's not Jewish. Well, because you are. Well, like heritage, sure. Back ages ago. Wait, what? I was

not raised Jewish. Wait, was? I was not raised Jewish. Wait, was that completely made up? Or are there Jewish people in your family? Of course. Yeah, okay. Yes. It's just... I've said that where he married a Catholic guy.

Just two generations ago, yeah. Right, a Catholic woman. Practicing Jews. If you don't convert, we're not going to get married. Okay, okay. Like Black Wreath on the door, like you're no longer. And then the Catholic came in hard. Okay. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Like black wreath on the door. Like you're no longer. And then, right.

Then the Catholic came in hard. Then, then that's where it all came. That was like the first reveal where it's like, yeah, he's a Jew. 10 years later. But yeah.

So I actually didn't even think of that until like things really started getting like Barstool started cooking and I was like, oh yeah. Like, you know, and you're done. Like you're final. That's it. This is this better work. It was K. i never thought about it k marco yeah and yeah and everyone on the other end that wasn't allowed to look or see or read was like why is

he the only one who says yeah yeah well luckily it all did work out but it would have been interesting if it didn't no it's kind of fun um but it is funny that like uh i feel like if somebody you know i'm thinking about my own kids now getting older if they got a job and told me like don't look at this i'd be like you'd look absolutely it's not fun though right because there's a reason you're saying don't yeah yeah but i also i just don't care I spied on him relentlessly. So what were you... I read everything else he did. What were you...

Like, my mom has been kind of similar, like, as long as you're happy and making money and good, like, whatever. You can carry yourself. Right. But also, I don't know, I've always thought, like, boy, if she knew knew some of the things I don't know if she would love it so were you are you just the same way like if he's good you're good

totally yeah that's number one if he's good I'm good but also like he has his own history he's making his own way he's not 17

although how old were you 10 years ago 23 no I was 21 21 yeah and I'm sure you've heard the story he's only here because of me his father had like no way you are not going

he's not doing this he cannot go he cannot do that I wasn't privy to this I learned this fairly recently I wasn't part of the group was he going to do like the family business he could have done anything else quite frankly

it was kind of like and it was like no not, no, he's got to follow... Not like I had any of the answers, really, but hey, he's going to follow his dream. He'll fail or he won't. Right. And then maybe then we can direct him. Yeah, plan B, right.

Well, it does... Because you can't not do something or you will forever think I didn't do something. A thousand percent. I mean, could you imagine if all this happened and you were just like, oh, I gave it up. No, I can't. I thought about it

for a second there. No, I would. That would be tough. I would be super suicidal. So remember when dad, right? Even more so. Just super suicidal.

Now I'm like, kind of suicidal. But then, so see, I am preventing that. That is my goal. My whole life. As a mom, right? Yeah, yeah. That's it. So see, I am preventing that. That is my goal. My whole life. As a mom, right?

Yeah, yeah. That's it. He's happy. He's happy. Was it like, did it take a lot of convincing? Or was he like, you just said like. You know John? Yeah, I guess so.

It took a lot. Yeah, it took a lot. Stupid question. Stupid question. It took a lot. But now he thinks that because he agreed. He's the hero. He wears the crown. But now he thinks that because he agreed, he's the hero. He was the

crowd. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's okay. That's okay. But, I mean, it did take a little while to probably think it was worth

it. I mean, the first few, what, how long were you getting paid like a couple hundred dollars a month? Was that like the

first couple years? Yeah. Two years, probably. Yeah, and then it was, well, you've got to get a part-time job you got to do something else well that's when kevin got yeah and it's like what well because also you remember when i was in many colleges you uh yeah we might have to back up to college you wouldn't let me there were two jobs basically two jobs a college kid can have. Oh, yeah. Delivery and... Bar back. Bar back.

That's how we kept it. And you wouldn't let me have either of them. So she did have some input on what job you could have. She wasn't going to... What if his dream was to be a bar back? That dream was not allowed. I guess there was some control there. I remember I got him a bartending job, a guest bartending job.

Oh, my God. And you had to make a drink or something? Was that you? Well, no. No, not me. I mean, it was the worst bar. Well, it was the funnest bar, but it was fun because it was a shithole. And so the only thing they said, they asked, can you just wear black?

And I don't think you had. You had to go buy something, right? I had to go buy black pants and a black shirt. I mean, maybe I didn't have to. I'm sure I had something I could have thrown together. Because you ended up losing money, right? You had to buy clothes, and then nobody came that night. I thought it was good.

Because I loved Barstool so much at the time that I thought, like, oh, one post, and the bar's going to be slanted. So did I, brother. I was like, shit, we've got some work to do. And then Kevin showed up, and there was literally no one else it was just us and then kevin just left like a 200 tip but even that was too much like i'd spent more on the black pants and the black shirt so i lost money that on that bartending got some good duds yeah yeah but so so anyway a couple years in, it starts to work a little more,

and I guess it was probably a little bit easier to swallow at that point where everybody was happy. Yeah, just do what you do. Well, one of the things we always talk about here is the college experience of John because we have like half and half now are people who graduated and didn't graduate, and he's captain of the non-degree team. He did not. And it was, what, six colleges, right? Captain did not. didn't graduate. He's captain of the non-degree team. It was what?

Six colleges? I think we... Say Mike's. UMass Dartmouth. FSU. I want to make sure you haven't forgotten one. Back to UMass Dartmouth a little bit. PC. And then NYU

when I first came here. There's another one. I always think I forget. Yeah, but there's another one. There's another one? Yeah. I always think I forget one. I know there's two. She's going to unlock some stories. It's going to have to be a chat or something like that. I always think that there was one other that I forget.

I don't think I ever did BCC. I think it's just those ones. But I always do feel like I forgot one. I do too. Oh, well, URI. Oh, yeah, I do too. Oh, well, URI. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it, URI. You're a Ram?

But URI was, I was in Spain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. So also, you want to throw in Universidad de Salamanca as well. But that was in college, but you got college credit for URI. And that's why I keep saying, get all of those credits. They're going to add up. Yeah.

No, I probably have two degrees. I've asked him before. I mean, if we found out that he was only like a couple credits short and he went back to school, it would be one of the greatest video series of all time. Despite six years? It's the only thing I've ever heard him be like, no. Anything else, he's like, I'm down to try it. I'm like, why don't you go back to school? We'll film it.

And he's like, no. I hated it that much. No, you didn't. What are you talking about? It was a totally different experience. You didn't. You know, he hated it. Well, just like this past week, he said, what's the line?

You know that wherever you go, you go. Yeah, you go there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wherever you go, you're there Yeah, you're there. Wherever you go, you're there. The common denominator there was always – That goes to my mother, but from John Lennon. Oh, okay. Got it, got it, got it.

Yeah, it's funny. My mom's – the thing she always passed down from her mom to me now is don't ever punish yourself because we never got grounded. And she was like, I didn't want you in the house more. I'm not going to punish myself. Don't ever punish yourself because we never got grounded. And she was like, I don't, I didn't want you in the house more. I'm not going to punish myself. Don't ever punish yourself. That was one of John's punishments. Just go run around the house outside.

And then we'll lock the doors and count. I always give you credit for the, uh, the not being a punisher, which you weren't. Um, but you were also like the invented mental health days. What about the Mondays off?

The Mondays off kid is... You lose track, right? Is it the third Monday or is it the fourth Monday? It was really bad. What do you think the number was? I think I usually call it somewhere between 7 and 11, but I've heard you go as high as 18. It's as high

that has to be reported to the state. To the state. Like, first of all, who is the state? What does that mean? And, like, to the point where

the principal said, just pull up and beep, I'll come out and get him. And I'm like, no, I can't do that. That's weird. That's embarrassing. Report me to the state.

We'll, like, go to court over this, but I'm not going to be embarrassed by a hospital. The truant officer will come to your home. Because he was just kicking and screaming? He just wouldn't go? What happened when you would get to the school?

We wouldn't even go. So what happened at home? He was just like, I'm not getting in the car? Did you try to grab him by the ear, pull him by the hair? You were just like, no, it's not happening? Not today. I'm starting to feel that with Keegan already because he's stubborn as fuck.

Sometimes I'm just like, I guess we're not doing this. You're not eating dinner. You're not, you know, whatever. You kind of pretend like, well, then you'll have a consequence. I don't know what it will be. Still figuring that one out. You'll probably fail third grade,

but we'll deal with that later. He's not going to care about that one. Second grade. Second grade. Right, right, right. Because it was Mrs. Taylor. Taylor. So we're talking, you know, let's split in the middle and say 15 Mondays off, which is what?

Roughly four months of this. Honestly, I was like, how many? Really? You sure? Can we go back? Like, one of them was a holiday, right? One of them is not a Monday off. Everybody had that Monday off.

Columbus Day, something like that. And what was the conclusion of that? Like, did he, like, did in third grade, like the summer rolls around

and the next year starts and he just, he was okay going that year? I think the principal and he had a chat. I was in privy too. But no, the reason you didn't go is because a friend was taken from the classroom. I was in privy, too. But no, the reason you didn't go

was because a friend was taken from the classroom. He was in special needs. Yeah, and John wanted to be special. And if he wasn't there, I wouldn't go. And I was like, I want to go to class with him. I don't know if I knew that or not, but that's funny. He couldn't read. And I was like, I'll dumb it down.

I'm right on the border anyway. I'm not going. But you didn't know why he was... So one kid was... It's a peaceful protest is what it is. Well, he wasn't cut in class. No, he wasn't cut. He was like,

they come in. Sorry. The teacher comes in and calls for, the special teacher comes in and calls for the kid who needs a little assistance. Extra help, yeah. And the only person that notices is John. And he's like, he's gone, I'm gone.

I'm like, where does he go? Ride or die. Ride or die'm like, where does he go? Ride or die. Ride or die, yeah. Where does he go? I want to go. Next thing you know, you would have been enrolled in the special classes just to have friends. So yeah, I can read. I can do math.

I started freaking dyslexia in second grade. I can help you. The boys. Yeah, that was interesting. So that was one of his big, that's one of the, like, that sets the tone a lot of times when I'm like, well, you know, he just didn't even go to school. Just one day.

Just one day. It was second grade. What do you need to go to second grade for? They didn't get anything for perfect attendance then. Yeah, no, I remember first hearing it kind of being like, wow, like, I don't know. I feel like you should make sure the kids go to school. And now that I have kids, I'm like, I barely want to send them ever.

I'm like, they make you get up so early and you have to put on this uniform and it's a whole thing. Like, it's okay, baby. So I definitely, after having my own kids could see, you know, if it was up to me, I'd, they'd probably go like twice a week. And that's all you need. That's all you need until high school. Right?

Like, what are you learning? So also, he's in second grade. like twice a week. And it's all you need until high school. So also, he's in second grade. He's kind of given a hard time about getting up and going and there's three more. Right. It's like,

no way, I'm not putting everybody in the car listening to this. This is not fun. This is not fun. I much prefer like, let's make some cookies

and watch Sesame Street. I'm just stunned that the rest of the kids weren't like, they weren't in school yet so they didn't have to go anywhere. Oh, there's that much? There's two years between Johnson. He's in second.

Hannah's in kindergarten. She probably went with a friend. Hannah was always with a friend. Someone picked her up. Did they go to school and they were like two? No. Like everyone does now? It's crazy.

I know. I had no... I was not prepared for that as a parent at all. No. It's a good thing, though. They were like, she was two. I mean, I know it is good, but it's also... Supposedly. It's only good... How at all. It's a good thing, though. I know it is good, but it's also good.

How are you saying it's a good thing? We'd make cookies and watch Chesapeake Street, but no, it's good that they go in two. I definitely think Shay is smarter and whatever, but it's all even. If none of the kids go... The only reason I agreed to really do it was she can't be the only one,

because then she's going to be like the dumb kid but when I heard she was two and I'm getting tuition bills I was like this is insanity okay so there wasn't any there was a little like a little preschool before kindergarten for like two hours where you'd like drop them off and go to the market

so the other kids aren't making a stink and then by the time they're in school he's going five days. Okay. So it was just a quick, quick, like, 18 blips on the radar. Yeah, four days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unbelievable.

But we were all learning, you know? Yeah. I didn't know how important school was. I didn't know that was going to say he's never going to finish college. He didn't go on Monday. He's not going to finish college. That was one of my all-time favorite lines when we were at my sister's graduation.

My older sister. She's the older of the sisters, but she's younger than me. And we were at her graduation, and I had gone to six schools. Hannah had just stayed in the one. Ben had changed to two. Neely had done two.

So that was like 12 schools. Fuck you, to two. Neely had done two. So that was like 12 schools. And one diploma. I was so proud of you. My mom goes, she goes, I got four kids, 12 colleges, and one diploma. That is funny. That was funny. And I'm sure

the bank accounts were even funnier. That's what schools they went to, not what schools we visited to go to. After doing all of that, like college, touring, bologna, and over and over and over and over again, I was like, I should get an honorary degree from each of these schools. You're like a professor now. You're like a dean almost. Except I only learned about the gyms and the cafeterias.

That's all they freaking talk about when you go to a school. And learned about the gyms and the cafeterias. That's all they freaking talk about when you go to a school. And we have a lovely gym and the best cafeteria. Okay? That's why we come here, right? I cook pretty good. We have a nice backyard. So I guess we can do this at home.

Save a lot of money. You've done good, by the way. You said freaking and baloney. You said you weren't going to swear on the show. Woo! Oh, okay. I don't know why that's the rule, don't know who's listening i didn't tell anybody they couldn't listen whenever this happens i don't even know if it's happening i don't know what's going on uh one of the other things that that always jumps out is um, maybe like the first real Feidelberg story that

took off is the E. coli Christmas. Which is so crazy that people are like, there's no way this is real. This couldn't have happened. I think we need to call John in. He needs some backup? Not so much backup. I think he needs to call John in. He needs some backup? Not so much backup.

I think he needs to have this conversation. It's very real. Your unlicensed sister must drive you to CVS to get the worst medicine for you at this time for your condition. But we think it's right. What was it? Pepto-Bismol, I guess. Your belly hurts, so here you go. And that's the last thing you should do for E. coli?

Apparently. You're like, what did you give him? Wait, no, no, that's a different Christmas. Oh, you were a young boy for E. coli. That was my appendectomy. That was my appendectomy. That's right, that's right. I've been to the hospital twice on Christmas

well there's I think there's like a running theme of when you had your broken ankle or wrist or something and you didn't go for like

knuckles knuckles broken knuckles for like he had like broken bones for like a week before he went to the hospital

I was using a Scantron and I was like filling out like a Scantron and they were like what's wrong with you I was like I can't close my knuckles my mom says

just have a glass of milk though. Right. Strengthen your bones. You gotta start there. They're shattered. But maybe the milk will put them back together. Don't jump right to the

hard stuff right? You gotta take steps. Easily in. That could fix it. You don't know. Between the broken bones the E. coli and the appendectomy

it seems like it was always putting off the hospital until that second. Always, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't need them. You don't need them. You're going to be fine.

So E. coli Christmas was as, like, just nobody wanted to stay with him? Well, truth be told, I knew it was bad meat when I cooked it. But I didn't have anything else. Which is another thing I would have said in the past. Like, how could you do that? And now I'm smelling the milk like ants. Right? You shake it.

You shake it. It dissipates a little bit. It's not sour anymore. I do it every day. Was he always this way? He pukes like five times a week. Was he always this way? What's wrong with you?

Every time we bring up anything. He's a sour milker. He pukes like five times a week. Was he always this way? What's wrong with you? Every time we bring up anything He's a sour milker. He pukes like twice a week at work. Well, actually, that's interesting too, because Hannah's bedroom was next to his and she's like, my, he makes some weird noises. Well, there's the normal

I don't know when it started, but now, obviously, with a few miles on the car, every time you get up, it's like groaning and all that. But every time anybody brings up anything remotely gross, it has gotten worse over the years. That could be deep. Maybe that's what it is. Bad meat, sour milk. So you cook the bad meat.

I remember that very good, Lee. I think I could cook it out. That makes sense it's either hot it boils out all the stuff whatever one of the doctors being like

when they're trying to figure out what was wrong with me they were like now like is there any chance you could have eaten some rotten meat and I was like

no and in the middle of me saying no you go yeah yeah oh yeah absolutely it's not even a chance it's 100% confirmed.

Yes, I know for a fact. But they all ate it, so where's the weak link again? Pussy! Everybody drank the same milk and had the same beef. I skipped the occasional meal, but... Hey, Mom, how come you're not having any? Just finish your plate. Yeah, yeah.

Not enough. Not enough. Chef's prerogative. All right, so he's sick. You take him to the hospital, and it's Christmas Eve? Christmas Eve, I think. No, no, no. Eve Day, right?

Even today? That one might have been a little earlier. The Appendix for me was definitely Christmas Eve Day. I feel like the E. coli might have been like two days earlier, and I stayed through. I forget exactly. But he's forgetting one other Christmas hospital that he was too young to know that he didn't. What's that one? So my mom and both John's grandmothers, between the two of them, had 13 kids.

So my mom had seven. John's mom had six. And one Christmas, John's on the couch as white as this. This is weird. You. You. You. And you're young.

It's probably just you and Hannah. So you're probably three, four. And you know when they can't breathe and their bellies are going in really deep? And you're like, what? I'm getting thin right before my eyes he's wasting away I don't know this at all no bad shallow breathing so both

grandmothers right who say hey we've got 13 years of 13 kids experience between us what's going on with John I'm like oh he, he's fine. No, no, he's not fine. He's not breathing right. I'm like, what do you mean he's not breathing right?

And I'll never forget it. They like lie you on the couch and they look both of them like, hmm. Again, 13 kids, we've never seen this. And I don't even remember who suggested it. Do you want to call the pediatrician? You should. It's Christmas. Who's working on Christmas?

We can't possibly bother them. Oh, my God. So we did, and we went through the whole thing, and did the hot shower, get the air, open up his airways. He had asthma. Oh, asthma. It wasn't horrible, but it was bad. An asthma attack for a three-year-old is not great.

Yeah, you literally couldn't breathe. I'm like, no, he's fine. We're having Christmas. This is fun. A present will fix it. Give him another toy. He's not even in the conversation anymore. And it was so funny because he doesn't even want his presents.

He doesn't want any cake. He doesn't want anything. I'm like, that's John. And honestly, if you had told him that, I'd be like, yeah, checks out. Checks out. Not that he's slowly losing oxygen. The brain is shutting down. So we've had asthma attack, appendectomy, E. coli, and...

Those are three Christmases. Those are three Christmases. Three Christmases. That should be the title of the movie. And so... I'm kind of liking this. See, it's funny. Get going.

So for the last one, the appendectomy, you were at FSU? No, I just got kicked out of St. Mike's. Oh, okay. Silly you. Silly me. That was the problem. We didn't care that he was sick. We didn't know that he got kicked out of St. Mike's, but we knew something was bad.

Right. And all his friends are over. Everyone's home from college. First Christmas, blah, blah, blah, and John's kind of retreating a bit. We're like, what's up with him? John, the father, do you see his grades? I'm like, no, I haven't seen his grades.

When you see his grades, I'm like, I think that's the problem. You thought I was faking it. I thought you were... You were doing everything you could to possibly not show us your grades, and we were so bloody stupid. We didn't do the parent thing where we had access to his grades because you're 18. Right, you're an adult now.

The day before you go, you have to do everything for him as a parent. And then after that, you have no rights. Okay, fine. So he'll do the right thing. Oh, good. Absolutely. So you think that this is all grade-related, and he's just like he's just whatever he'll figure it out and again his dad we got to see his grades we got to see his grades don't you remember

dad called you into our bedroom and you had like the living room friend in second grade he was over and um they're all in the living room chit-chatting all the lies up and a bunch of kids a bunch of friends and um dad calls you in. He's like, I want to see your grades right now. And you're like, nope. I don't remember this. Nope. And I look at dad.

Dad looks at me. I'm like, I don't know how you make people do things. I've never been able to do that. And he wanted to kill you. And I'm like like let them go out let them go out and then you were out and then you came in

and the next morning you were dead you were like we went to we went to the movies and I remember we were playing Sully was playing

like Deer Hunter one of those games and I was like guys I gotta go home I really don't feel good and they played a few more games but then they brought me home

I went right upstairs went to bed woke up in the morning like couldn't stand up and dad I remember dad being like I've had a hangover before congratulations

welcome back I was like no like I went to the movies last night dude like it's not a hangover I've had hangovers you're right like I've been to college

he's like suck it up and then it's Christmas your mother's downstairs making cookies I don't make cookies often but apparently at Christmas time I like to make cookies often but apparently at Christmas time

I like to make cookies so anyway yeah then you came down the stairs I think you kicked a hole in the wall that Christmas kicked a hole just out of stress

yeah you know that right it happens yeah you just I punched a hole in the wall here at this office

just yesterday and sometimes it's just not the right wall it's just really really weak. I didn't wind up or anything. Did something specific happen or just Christmas dress loaded up and you're just like, no. Yeah.

We like hung a wreath over it. Not a wreath, a soldier that had a velvet shorts that put candy in it. It was like crazy. Like, what the hell? This is perverted, but that'll work. It was like gay high. It made no sense for a Christmas decoration to be there. It covered the hole.

I mean, just watching him hit the, break the wall yesterday. Why did you do that? The bruise. It wasn't that. It was a weak wall. Don't make a face at me. It was a weak wall. You just described the that. It was a weak wall. Don't make a face at me. It was a weak wall. You just described the wall.

It was a bad wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't need to go close fist. He went open hand. It was over. It is funny. Yep, it runs in the back.

But the E. coli Christmas, he's in the hospital and were people just kind of coming and going like we got Christmas stuff to do of course he was well taken care of but I can do the doctor's camp I remember you guys being like you stopped in before you went to Joanne's and you're like I was like all right Christmas Eve parents are here and they're like i was like all right christmas eve parents are here and they're like you guys like all right so you're all set did they give you a popsicle john yeah

do you want a purple or a red popsicle i'll get that for you then i gotta go she got you a popsicle i don't know what you're complaining about man i don. I don't get the big fuss. What about the babysitters of the family? He's tortured some babysitters along the way. Were you privy to all that? As it was happening? Either or, yeah. You know all about it now?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Do you know about our five-year rule? Yes, yes. Which is one of my favorite things ever instituted. I didn't know about the five-year rule and the five-year rule was like just like thrown upon you well was it the mushroom how did it yeah it was better that is one of my i i've said we need to write a tv show one day just to have that what like an episode be that like write seasons of material just to have one episode where that happens because it is it's almost too preposterous

to even be real well John Henry tried it on us last night he was John and I oh you five ruled him I five ruled him yeah yeah last night

so he's telling us his story but you could tell you didn't have your story down and it's like what was it the layover something to do with the airport and I'm like

this is a weird story when was this this is the Xanax story like when I took Xanax it's not really it's not like a great story. No, but the part about the story I'm telling

is that all of a sudden you're like, it was fine because I guess Ben had done something with John and whatever created some nonsense. But John and I are like,

what is this story? And he says, five year old. Then I don't even have to figure it out. I don't even have to know what's in the middle. and my brother

just handed me a pill. Wait, just now? No, no, no, no, no. It's five years ago. I know five years. That's right, that's right. Wait, just now? No, no, no, no, no. This is five years ago. I know five years. That's right, that's right. I don't make the same mistakes he does. But that one was, we were at Top of the Hub.

We were at, what was it? It was Easter? Easter. It was Easter. Easter weekend-ish. I think it was the first time you guys had met my girlfriend at the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we were telling stories or whatever.

And we were talking about five-year-old and Bennett had a couple drinks. And he's like, oh, yeah. And he's like, when Gramps died, I had taken, well, you tell me how you remember. Yeah, how does the story come across to you? So it's nine years ago. So it's way past the five-year-old now. So John and I go into the vineyard.

We get on the ferry. My dad's really sick, but not. Like he's just in the hospital sick. But anyway, okay. So that's all part of it. And so we're going to go because we don't really visit people in the hospital. We figure the really sick, but not. Like, he's just in the hospital sick. But anyway, okay, so that's all part of it. So we're going to go because, you know,

we don't really visit people in the hospital. We figure the doctors take care of that. So he's there and everyone in my, I'm one of seven, as I said,

everyone's there, but we're going to leave. And my father insisted, go ahead, go to the vineyard, have a good time. Okay, great.

So we're on the boat. We're literally, like, between New Bedford and Martha's Vineyard, halfway. And my brother calls, you've got to come back.

This is tough. So, okay, we get back. Now, of course, Ben is aware that we're going away. So he's ready to party. So Ben does his thing. Yeah. Yeah, 20 years old, 21 years old. He's doing his thing.

I didn't even know. He was out in the woods somewhere. But the funny part is he calls my brother because I guess the word gets out, Gramps died. So we're all going to come back home. And so Ben calls one of my brothers to come get him. And to that story, when I heard the story until very recently, I thought my brother was the culprit of the things that Ben and his cousin did.

So I'm like, oh, my brother's a real asshole. So I'm like, holy shit, I can't believe he would do that. Like, where away? I mean, he's 50 years old and he's part of this party thing. And he's feeding these guys this shit. It was hysterical. And I remember telling my sister, like, I can't believe he would do that. And she's like, you better check the facts.

It doesn't sound like him at all. So the five-year rule was obviously not followed, and the facts weren't given out all that well. That's a long story. A little too long there. No, it's good. It's one of my favorites.

Were you aware of when he locked, I think Consuela is her name? Eduarda. How did I forget? He locked her in the basement? Not when he did it, but yeah. Yeah, I know. Yeah, that's fine.

Did Eduarda say anything to you? She came back. She quit? No, no, no. She quit. She actually got fired. Not by me. I don't do that either.

They're going to show up. They're going to stay. Yeah, that was funny. Yeah, he did a lot of it. I fed her. I're going to show up. They're going to stay. Yeah, that was funny. He did a lot of I fed her. I locked her in the basement and

I fed her Cheez-Its. I threw Cheez-Its down the... You were mean. I was making sure she was fed. That's mean. You know what's

a way to make sure she's fed? Give her her freedom back. I honestly don't know what she'd done to deserve to be locked in a basement.

Nothing. Nothing deserves that. There's something you can do to be there. Yes, there's some things you can do to deserve being locked in a basement. Nothing that a babysitter would be doing to you. So there's the babysitters. Oh, one of our favorites is that weird

guy who coaches baseball team. Oh my God, freaky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So weird. Came out of the woods.

Yeah, came out of the woods. Had a cane. Had a cane. Long hair. Stood at the end of our driveway. We had a slightly steep driveway. Not crazy, but you know, and he'd just stand there. And I'm like, why would I say, John Henry, your coach is here.

I should have gone along. I'm like, what are you doing here? But I'm like, hey, John Henry your coach is here I should have gone I'm like what are you doing here but I'm like hey John Henry like he was his friend your coach that calls all of you assholes

at one time after you lose a game you're seven eight maybe that was insane and you would come and just play catch with him I don't know

I actually don't know what he would do that's what we were all saying they always try to say I was molested I wasn't molested there's at least like five times that John has been molested and then his father comes home and was like what the fuck's going on here

get this guy out of here I don't like to not be nice the amount of parallels I don't fire people not be nice. So I'm just like, come on. The amount of parallels. I don't fire people or break up with them. I don't want to, yep, yep.

A lot of things were passed on me. I can see that for sure. It's in the DNA. Yeah, like I figure, you know, he's probably not

a horrible person, just a little creepy. You know, he doesn't. He's behind all the words and just a little creepy. I'll let my seven-year-old go to the woods

and let him figure it out you report back I like to do that I think you can figure this out and all the while are the rest of the kids like are they

they're better yeah they're better oh wait there were others yeah they're better. Oh, wait, there were others? Yeah, they're a little different. Yeah. I can't explain why. A little different.

They all turned out a little different. The first one, the first one you experimented with. Yeah, that's true. That is true. Test time. Test time. Everybody's learning. So, all right. So then like through college, so, you know, he's, I guess what?

You're playing hockey growing up, right? That's a big part of the childhood, right? You didn't do much hockey, though. Never, never. That's something else you don't do, yeah. I wanted John to play basketball. Easy, easy, normal times. I know it.

Hockey, I still can't figure it out. I love basketball. Got it. Yeah. He doesn't play basketball well. No. He plays basketball like a hockey player. He just like hits you and pushes you. I remember you trying to convince out. I love basketball. Got it. Yeah. He doesn't play basketball well. No. He plays basketball like a hockey player. He just hits you and pushes you.

I remember you trying to convince me. Breaking the rules. That it was you and- Like Giannis plays like a football player. Not too good. I mean, he's awesome, but he's not too good. He's not playing the right game. It was you.

What was my first doctor's name? Dr. Delaney. Dr. Delaney. First wake you went to. Why did you take me to a doctor's name? Dr. Delaney first wake you went to why did you take me to a doctor's wake? I have no idea first wake? how old? probably 12

your doctor's dead that is crazy I love that doctor he was my doctor, he was John's pediatrician. Like, we had this huge connection to Dr. Delaney. And I'm like, John Henry, Dr. Delaney, we must go to the wake. Okay, Mom. We got a family doctor that has done enough for the family over the years.

We might know it to show up. He's a little loose with the prescription. And I, you know, bent some of the rules for us. We'd probably go it to him. That's another one. I think when I originally told that, I thought it was Mem's funeral. But it wasn't Mem's. It was Barbara's.

When you made us take our Christmas card. Where we're all like crying. That was so funny. They were dressed up. The Christmas family photo at the funeral. That's just economical parenting right there. Right, right. That's two birds, one stone.

I'm not going to fight about putting on your plaid for Christmas. Right. Just do it now. You got it on? Take the picture. Wait, wait. That's actually a great life hack is that make sure every wedding or every funeral is like you wear red and green.

Yeah, right, right. Why are we dressed like that? Right, right. You just pull that card out. You get nine months in the year. You're like, hey, someone died. Great. Let's go.

You got your green clothes on. Great. Now smile. Yeah, he is. smile. That was funny. Anything else that like, like stood out about him, like when he was, you know,

like before the college years, because then the college years go right into like the Barstool years, really. But was there anything in the, like when you see what he's doing now, was there any, was there ever a moment where you were like, oh, yeah, we kind of knew he would be creative or come up with these ideas or do stuff like this?

Do you remember your art teacher at the Y? No. He's probably the first trans person you ever met, but we didn't know. And his name was Karen, and he was awesome. His name was Karen. He was, truly, he was really, really talented, and you could really draw with him. But John, he was, truly, he was really, really talented and you could really

draw with him but John's a pretty good drawer too. that was a, I have no creative skill set at all. You're creative with your parenting.

Thank you. Right, no tangible creative talent. And yeah, so yeah, John always had a creative side

for sure. Because I mean, once, you know, like Saturday for the Boys and Sad Boy Season, some of the ideas he has, like I do think his brain just works differently in that department. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We've been trying to figure that out. For a while. Some good and some bad, but it's certainly different. But there was nothing like when, you know, from like middle school and high school years that was like stood out or was different. It was just regular. Yeah, pretty regular. Pretty average. That's what we do.

Just be the normal guy. Yet at the same time, the most unnormal person I've ever met in my life. One of the things that came up very recently when you were like, how are you going to talk about that? A formative thing was the fact that you used to take me to the dentist and get my teeth ripped out. What? I say, what now? My baby teeth, how they didn't have en out. What? Just like say,

what now? My baby teeth, how they didn't have enamel. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yes. And he was also another good doctor. Actually, it's really interesting.

Pediatric dentists have the highest rate of suicide because they create, they cause pain to such an innocent, whatever. And this guy was awesome. He was really cool,

really calm. He used to play those little games when he was guy was awesome. He was really cool, really calm. He used to play those little games when he was in your mouth. It was good. I don't like that phrase. Let's rephrase that one. I told you he was molested. What, did he end up killing himself?

Oh, no. Oh, okay. No, no, no. I don't know why I know that. I don't know why that comes into the story at all. It makes sense. I think I was reading something in the waiting room. I think I probably just stopped being a dentist before I killed myself.

Yeah. Money's good, though. I did a lot of podcasting all the time. Podcasting will soon be the highest suicidal rate but yeah so what his teeth were not the enamel was not correct so we just yanked him yeah baby teeth no enamel I don't know why

probably some genetic thing what if the cigarettes and the booze are in the pregnancy I don't know could have been my brother's mushrooms I'm not sure. Not really sure what happened there, but something happened.

And what, I mean, it was like relatively time for his adult teeth to come in or did he just walk around toothless? Apparently, you must have. We have to look at

some old pictures. Yeah. I mean, they were like a ton of teeth. We're not talking a couple. We're talking a ton of teeth.

I don't know how many baby teeth you actually have put them under the pillow yeah they ripped a lot out yeah I forgot about that that was the freakiest thing how old is that?

that was young because I remember you were so he was just toothless for all these years? well your teeth come in like what do you you must have been like

I think it was before you went to school like four or five you get how many rounds? You get multiple rounds of baby teeth? No, no, no. No, so that's what I mean.

You got to wait. So he's young. He'd come in, yanks them out. Yanks them out. And then you got to wait until like. Hang on. You got to hang on. Yeah.

Maybe they come in faster if there's nothing in the way. That could be. That could be, yeah. I didn't ask any questions. That's what you need to do, dog. Get it done. Now that I think about it, it was a teaching school.

No, seriously, it was. He was probably like, ah, get rid of them. You get a second set. It was a teaching hospital. So we'll just, we'll just get rid of them. Yeah, those will come in eventually,

eight years from now. When you get your adult. But you have very nice teeth yeah I do thank you do you have braces? I had braces but very briefly like six months

but senior year of high school so it was like the worst time to have them did you have to wear a retainer afterwards? I was supposed to I never moved my mom

I used to break my wires because I only had the first four so then there was like all the whole way back was wire without brackets yeah yeah so if i like hit it with my tongue or whatever there was so much room for it to break and i would break them and i'd be like that's broken and i would just never say anything and then like we go to the doctor or the dentist and he'd be like well

you know this is broken and these teeth have completely moved and like all over again yeah like this must've been broken, like judged by judging by the movement, like at least like three weeks. And I was like, no, no way. It just happened yesterday.

Um, okay. So then, then we get to the barstool years and well, I guess in between is the party years. So there's some party stories that you ever shared, which was probably my, um, I don't know. You may have shared it. I don't know. I don't know that you ever shared which was probably my, I don't know,

you may have shared it, I don't know. I don't listen, remember? I'm not allowed. When, so another thing you told, no,

I said to you, you were home from St. Michael's and you were going back and you were going to take, you came home on some 18-wheeler with some person

like in a truck through Canada? I don't know. No, I don't know if you went through Canada. You did, you did. You went to Canada. Is that a story? No, I don't know. No, I don't know if he went through Canada. You did.

You did. You went to Canada. Is that a story? No, I've told that story. No, actually, I don't know if I have. I don't think you, you say that all the time.

I've told you this and sometimes you're right. A lot of times you're not. I'm like, I would remember that shit. So he's leaving to go back and it's never nice when he comes home and it's never nice

when he leaves. It's that feeling of like, oh shit, something's amiss here but we don't know what that is. So we keep going and he's going back to school now

and I don't know, again, you're getting on some, I don't know how you're getting anywhere but you went. No car or anything? I said,

no car, no nothing. I don't know. I don't even know if he got to a bus or what. I had nothing to do with it. So he just walks out the door and that's just like,

bye. And I said, I'm resource it. So he just walks out the door and that's just like, bye. And I said, I'm resourceful. I'm resourceful. Don't call me until you get back. Now, why I said that,

I don't know. But it took him three days to get back. So I, but, Usually it's like, call me when you're safe. Yeah.

Do not call me until you get back. This is different. And I'll never forget it because like, one day went by, another day went by and I'm talking to a good friend

and I'm like, Ian, I don't know what happened. He hasn't called. And she's like, how many days? And I'm like, two. She's different. And I'll never forget it because like one day went by, another day went by, and I'm talking to a good friend. And I'm like, Ian, I don't know what happened. He hasn't called. And she's like, how many days? And I'm like, two. She's like, that's too many. And I'm like, yeah, but I said don't call me. That's when you can legally call someone missing. It's two days.

That's when the police will start looking. I'm like super literal. And I said, but Ian, I said don't call me. So he's not back. So he went somewhere. I'm assuming he went somewhere else, right? So the third day he calls and I was like,

where have you been? He's like, you said don't call me. I got off at the wrong exit. Remember? You slept on a bench. Park bench. Oh, this is Mount Pelion.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. So yes, he has told that one. So that was one of the ones where like... I stopped in Toronto. Yeah. See?

That's Canada. That's Canada. That's Canada. She's right. That was a story the ones where like... I stopped in Toronto. See? That's Canada. That is Canada. That was a story that people were like, no way this is true. No, it was so true. And then we had a cop. The cop who woke me up. Came to our show.

Get out of here. Yeah, he was the one who... Or like his son found us at our live show in New York and was like, my dad wanted you to have this shirt from the police department. Yeah, there's like a police hat. There's a sweatshirt around. He was like, anybody who wanted you to have this shirt from the police department. Yeah, there's like a police hat. There's a sweatshirt around.

He was like, anybody who says that's not fake, that's not real, fuck off. He gave a note. He was like, anyone who says

that's not real, tell them to live a little or something like that. But you took the wrong exit. You got off a bus at the wrong exit in Vermont. Like, not your school exit. Yeah.

Because I told the woman I fell asleep. So you said, I said, why didn't you call me and you said because you said don't call me

until I get back and I didn't get back until just now and then you told me like I went here here here here here that's interesting

and guess what he didn't go to school Monday I told you that one was coming yeah yeah right no I'm just thinking

it through now I'm like aha patterns patterns yeah I people ask me a lot about Barstow and they're like Yeah, yeah, right? No, I'm just thinking it through now. I'm like, aha. Patterns, patterns. Yeah. People ask me a lot about Barstool, and they're like, what does your family think of the rest of the job?

Not him at Barstool, but just Barstool in general. Did you know about Barstool? I feel like up in New England, everybody kind of knew what it was, but did it translate to parents and stuff like that? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you mean when you first started? Did your father know?

Did your dad know about it? Before you started? I'm sure I'd shared it. Yeah, before you started, yeah. Because I read it before I started, obviously, and so I'm sure I shared something with my dad, too. You did, yeah. It's like I was just like,

what is this? Right, right. He told me I don't need to know, so I'm not going to go looking. And I haven't. Don't go looking for stuff that's going to upset you. I truly haven't gone looking.

I mean, now it's become, it probably is more of a thing that parents and people know about. But back then, it was smaller. But in New England, it felt like maybe it was something that everybody knew. It was. It is. And it was weird. People would know.

Like, your son is who? Your son does what? Oh, yeah. That always weirds my parents out. They're always like, what? But my father had the best line. So my grandson is a pornographer? I don't know if I knew that one.

I don't think you did. I don't think you did know that one. But that was the That was the smoke show days. And I'd be like, he's in his freaking bedroom getting emails of women

in dating suits this is a job and my father said so my grandson is a pornographer he took it in stride then because he never brought it up with him

no that was great I'm sure he was like hell yeah hell yeah brother yeah that was those days were yeah those were the days

just like connected to the computer at all times. Yes. My mom used to always hate how much I like literally had – she jokes that the laptop was like connected to my arm because we had to blog every single moment. She was pretty cool about it too, but I knew that – But isn't your phone connected to your arm now?

Yeah, well, right. It's not as intrusive to everybody else. It's rude enough to be like on your phone, but when you're at – I'm coming home from school and you know I'm looking at the big screen and everything so they all used to hate that but I don't know. So what was your first interest? How did you first approach

Barstool? I had started I was out of school I thought I was going to do like finance stuff and I had a shitty job well no it was a good job but I hated it so I was reading Barstool just like past the time. And just by chance, well, I started my own site just for fun because I was like, I need something fun to do. But by chance, that was right when Dave was looking to start to expand to other cities.

So I just I blogged for fun for like six months. And then he was like, if you're from New York and you're a writer, let me know. And I just submitted that and kind of got lucky um but yeah like just totally right place right oh yeah yeah yeah i've been new york through and through um i just i thank the guy who who i worked at deloitte and he was like we were both so miserable and i was just trying to kill time and he was like do you know this site do you know that we shared like websites to kill time and he was the one who introduced me to do it to just read it but yeah i just totally got lucky um but yeah that was i had like a good job good benefits good salary but my parents were pretty cool about it too they were

like and similar my dad um not owned a company but like he was in property management forever and i had done a couple summer jobs with him and my brother went that route and i think they just assumed i would too and um but i remember that assumption is truly out of just convenience it's like this yeah this might be a little easy for you kind of right you know like the road is paved a little bit yeah if you want if you want to get on it if you don't well i remember my so i i didn't end up doing it um but my brother did and he did it probably for like 10 years and then when barstool got big enough and churning came along and they were offering salaries i uh brought my

brother on full-time but he was nervous to tell my dad because my dad had gotten him so many interviews and so many legs up and got on the job and and he was like nervous And he told my dad and he was like, are you kidding me? Like, no. Yeah, yeah. This job sucks, man. I hate this. And you get to do like radio and podcasts and all that stuff. I did this for you.

Don't do it for me. Right, right. That's the whole point, right? Is your brother still here? Yeah. Well, he lives in California, but he's still working with us. Oh, cool. I didn't know that.

So yeah, now it's the new family. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you like it? You like what you do? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I love what know that. So yeah, now it's the new family. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you like it. You like what you do. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I love what we do.

The place is getting out of control. It's, it's just, Barstool is, it's growing so big and becoming so absurd that it's like, there was a lot of drama

this past week that had me being like, what is going on here? Like when I, I would, I came home and I'm telling my sister and friends

and they're like, this is ridiculous. Like, this is, this is your your life i was like yeah yes it is and i love it do i don't do you guys like understand understand the full scope of like what he's done what he's done yeah like i i mean i know that he's so like he's so self-deprecating about it. If you don't follow and don't know, coming up with Saturdays for the Boys saved Marstool Sports. We were going to go under. Congratulations, Johnny. Well, it was more congratulations to Dave.

Unfortunately. Well, I hope Dave said congratulations, Johnny. That's about all he did, yeah. Probably said, maybe got a thank you, probably not even that. This is the new slogan. But yeah, we were like, it was after the Blackout Tour, which was our techno, did you know about that? Yeah. I gave a few rides to the truck in Randolph.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gaz's dad's metal shop or something. Again, another time, like behind an industrial park kind of thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gaz's dad's metal shop or something. Can you drop me off? Again, another time, like behind an industrial park kind of thing. Like, bye, Johnny. I don't know where you're going. There's nobody here. This is where you told me to drop you off.

Okay. Did you even know? The Blackout Tour was like pure insanity. It was just like college. Yeah, because like Hannah went, his sister went. I mean, like when you were in D.C. I definitely, I had my ear to it, but just with enough distance. Right, right, okay.

Well, that was a good money. That was a good source of revenue. They kept the lights on for a while, but then that died out. And like, I don't think we knew what was next. I think we were talking about like maybe contracting some of the cities and all that. And then Saturdays for the boys just like exploded. I think they paid for our first office here. Which, so what is that story?

I know what I know of it is just like you said, you heard somebody say something about Friday nights. At O'Brien's in Newport. Yeah, Fridays for the Men, Saturdays for the Boys. So simple. Right. So simple, but he took it and ran with it and did it like every every Saturday

we would do like I think there were four Saturdays in a row Lou helped a lot with that too like Lou I don't know where he got it

we got a yacht one day yeah he rented a yacht and took pictures it was always like you had to get a picture or a video doing something

really awesome on Saturday to like encourage you we went skydiving skydiving you did the yacht you did the helicopter you did the cliff jumping.

So like every week there was something. And then that, you know, that's another good story about just timing. Cause that's when like, well, this might sound stupid. Maybe I'm wrong here. But for me, that's when like gifts were becoming really popular to use these little like animated pictures. So every night at midnight, when it became Saturdayurday everybody says how's the boys and like it was trending on on social media became like a huge thing and um and then it made that was that was i

remember i think the first saturday ever i just sat like i didn't do anything i didn't do anything exciting i it was actually the anti-saturdays of the boys right it sounded like i guess i drank i just sounded like i just drank and just retweeted gifts. Yeah. And they were so fun. And laughed out loud. I was like dying. Like now that's just so commonplace. But in that moment, it was like, oh, did you see the one with like A.C. Slater? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The fat guy? The animal? But that made, I mean, is it known in the family that John is not the most shrewd businessman? He's not exactly like a shark when it comes to the negotiation table. I'd rather just be nice. Wow, where'd you get that? He's very non-confrontational

here. Is he non-confrontational at home? I would not say that. Really? Really. I would not say that you're confrontational, but opinionated, which sometimes creates a confrontation. You definitely want to make your opinion maybe not a personal opinion, but your opinion of any topic known. Yeah? Yeah. I see that, too, because too because i mean that sounds contradictory but

it's not like you'll get you don't like go get involved with like drama or seek it out but if someone is saying something that you think is wrong you'll rarely just like go with it like and you know totally never that's true that's to an extent probably probably more so at home totally never I think around here like there are times if somebody's saying something that I know

is wrong but it's not a big deal I'm just kind of like whatever oh that's hard to let go huh yeah I'll sit there

and it's like you don't understand but like whatever but I think you know you'll stand up you know and you'll say

what you think yeah I guess so and I can see that at home though being more of like when you're saying it to a brother or a sister or whoever, it's like,

ah, fuck off. It becomes like a thing. So as to like, I think John takes care of himself. I don't think he's like, you don't walk all over him, but he might not be like, I'm gonna take care of this.

Because like Saturdays for the Boys was his invention or creation or whatever you call that. I don't know. Do you invent Saturdays for Boys? Coined it? Whatever it is. And it should be millions upon millions upon millions

for him. It's a job. I did work at my job. That's what he always says. And he's always just like, I'm cool with it. But if he had patented it or... I mean, it would have been the whole thing. He would have had to go to court with Dave. You know what I mean? I'm cool with it. But if he had patented it or – I mean it would have been the whole thing. He would have had to go to court with Dave. You know what I mean? He would have been like, well, you –

I'm very comfortable. I do okay. And that's – he's always just like, no, I'm good with it. I don't need that stress in my life. I'll tell you that. Well, yeah. That is certainly – yeah, we see how that goes, right? But by the way the rest of the world works works if you come up with a slogan and a logo

and it's on clothes and it's on I honestly I think it's I genuinely don't think that I would get that I really believe

I did work at my job that my job is to create fun and dream things maybe now but back then I don't know if we had the same contracts did we?

oh fuck no yeah like right now if you do something it says like it is underneath our umbrella it's ours but back then you probably would have had a very legitimate claim you would have had a claim

Dave would have just been like no it's mine but if you wanted to I think that's silly I don't think it is I don't think like the business people of the world would call it silly. Literally, our job is to be interesting and make popular things. That's what we do. But to your point, it is what it is.

It's overused expression. But it only started and built on something. Now it's easy to look back and go, gee, if I tagged that or coined that or did anything, would it follow the same track? Who knows? Right. Probably not. Right.

Who knows? Because it was so organic. If you want to make it real. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have to, then you just hope it builds a relationship with whomever or whatever. It probably, what would have been,

yeah, because you stayed if you had become you know this millionaire trademark fucking marketing guy or whatever it wouldn't just be like Saturday's

you know one of the boys hanging out but you know you could have still what it should have done is like what she said like it grew organically and then you probably

should have been rewarded after that I remember we did we like we Lou and Dude, I remember we did, we like, we, Lou and I like, I think we,

we opened the website to like look into it. To patent it. Patent it. Yeah, it's just a whole thing. Actually, I don't even know if we got that far.

I think, I think that far I got with Sad Boy and I was like, ah, this is a pain in the ass, nevermind. You didn't do it

for Sad Boy either? No. No, that's good. We don't learn from our mistakes well there's a pattern I mean it was yeah like you also would have had to

like you would have maybe owned that but you would have been like done with Barstool because Dave would have fought for it and it would have

become a whole you know a whole thing and it's still your creation so it's like you know did i create it for cash did i create it for an idea did i create it yeah for it's one of the purest least like bastard well no it eventually got bastardized but not by you yeah that was when you know my corporation got their closet yes yeah yeah they they they certainly not quite i stayed on for a little well we gotta pump it a little bit yeah That was when the corporation got their closet. Yeah, yeah. They certainly... Eh, not quite. I stayed on for a little bit.

Well, we got to pump it a little bit. We got to get some of that bonus money. I bastardized it, but I bailed before it got super lame. Right, right. I do think it's ripe for a comeback. Yeah, it's been long enough that it might be retro now. Yeah. I'll bring it back, yeah.

Do you think about where this goes long term? I mean, it's already been pretty long term, but do you think far ahead in the future? Yeah. I didn't think so. That wasn't the vibe I picked up from you. Do I think about his future? Yeah.

Well, I think about it a lot. I'm like, are we going to do this when we're like 40, 50, 60 years old? Do we just keep doing this? Because no one's really done that yet. There's been radio hosts and stuff like that, but not what we do. We're kind of like the first people to do it. So it's like we're right in the blueprint of like, do you retire when you're 45? I remember days now you start to sound like lame, you know, or do you just keep going because everyone's aging with you?

Right. I mean, we found out the other day that 40% of our audience are parents, which when we started, obviously, you know, 0% were. I'm not sure about that. You don't think so? No. So to the point, the question you asked before about like, what does your family say or know

or do or whatever? And another, a different brother had said to me once, do you have any idea what this is? And I said, no, I don't actually. And he said, I said, yeah, a bunch of college kids or whatever. And he's like, no, no, no, no. It's just the others haven't come out yet about it. He said, there's, he said he I said, yeah, a bunch of college kids or whatever. And he's like, no, no, no, no. It's just the others haven't come out yet about it. He said, there's, he said he had a buddy.

He has a buddy who is a Boston firefighter. He's like, they live it. They live it, Polly. It's, it's, it's real. It's, it's, it's taking off. And that was when I thought it was just like a college based, whether it was the blackout tours or whatever, which were geared to college kids. But the

site itself or the banter or whatever it is, definitely was... So you're saying you think it's higher than 40%? No, I'm thinking it was it's been a long time. I was thinking now because I've aged with the high kids. To put a lame spin on things,

because that's what I kind of do, it's sad because parents kind of live with their kids, not physically with their kids, but they're like, oh, you like Barstool? I like Barstool. That's lame. I'm sorry. I don't care what it is. I'm with you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like to drink this? I like to drink that. Like, oh, rosé's hot? I'm going to drink rosé. I'm a cool mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't like that. Like, oh, rosé's hot. I'm going to drink rosé. Right. I'm a cool mom. Yeah. No, I don't like that.

So not cool. So that's where I think the adults that know it want to know it because their kids know it. Yeah, yeah. They're college-age kids. Right, kind of bridge the gap

between them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a good idea. I don't mind if you know, if you outwardly are living it, I think it's... That's the difference.

Yeah, yeah. If you know about it, whatever, but... Yeah, you should know what's out there, but yeah, living it, I mean, specifically. That's the difference. Yeah, yeah. You know about it, whatever, but... Yeah, you should know, like, what's out there. But, yeah, living it, I mean, specifically. And there's a lot of people. Does that weird you out ever?

Do you ever think, like... I love the guy last night who was with his camera rolling. Yeah, that was weird. But he looked like a nice guy. Sometimes, some people that approach you... Some of the guy coming out of the woods. Yeah. Some of the guy, you know, the doctor's dead.

Yeah, totally visual. Visual learner. But, yeah yeah he seemed like sometimes people come up to you and I was like that's not nice I know

I didn't mean it like that this is your fan base like spoiled milk but no it's fun it's fun it's fun watching this ride through him

with him whatever through him with him and in him well yeah I mean

it's probably been a weird road to get here to literally get here me this was really weird

when I said to John you want to go to a play yesterday whatever and he's like yeah you you want to go to a play yesterday? Whatever. And he's like, yeah, you're going to come to New York? And I'm like, yeah.

And he's like, remember what you said. Well, I was telling them off camera that my mom, when I told her we were interviewing you today, she went, do you want to do this? And she was like, well, can I have notes?

And I was like, I mean, I guess so, but we're not going to quiz you or anything. So and she was like well can I have notes and I was like I mean I guess so but we're not going to like quiz you or anything so now she said she's in she also she has

these new fake eyelashes that she likes and so she I said to her so she wants a video made so so

I said I was like I don't do this whatever's going on over there I said like don't worry like if you want to do it like she didn't do camera either and she was like well I got my eyelashes I want camera and I was like don't worry like if you want to do it like she didn't do camera either and she was like

well I got my eyelashes I want camera and I was like okay well then I don't want camera so we'll film a version that you can watch but nobody else

we're not playing that fucking game wow one way or another through through whatever Mondays off

and five year rules and all that stuff he's been unbelievable to me like my whole career that's right ride or die from uh day one so thanks for creating and he's and i'm honestly i'm just riding his his coattails of these stories just like every day i'm like press record let's hear what happened uh 12 years ago today so um i thank you for that and your family's always been great to me too. And thanks for doing this because oddly enough,

I don't know if you, do you get how excited people are going to be for this? It's so silly. It's crazy. I mean, we've literally had A-list celebrities. I got a text. Good luck on your interview. Yeah, I mean, this is going to be,

we always joke and we kind of, we butt heads with people sometimes because our booking group and marketing and stuff, they want to hear from like, you know, a 90s actor or something. And it's like, yeah, we love them and we love their movies and stuff, but people don't want to hear that stuff on a podcast. They want to hear things like this for whatever reason. Right. So that could kind of be to the common man theme. Like it's like, yeah, that's a great show. That's a great actor.

That's a great book or whatever it is. But like who's really living that? That one person. Right. Like everyone's living that. Everyone can live this. Like my mom was an idiot or my mom didn't do so great or my mom kept trying. That's my motto.

My mom keeps trying. I like that. That could be the biography. My mom keeps trying. I like that. That could be the biography. My mom keeps trying. Love it. All right. So, you know, the response is going to be a wild one. That's for certain.

So I may ask, am I allowed to read the comments? Because that's going to make me. No. No. I want to. Didn't we talk about this? I know. That's why I'm asking.

I think the comments will be great on this. It's just, you know, you're going to have to run into also some horrifically offensive ones. That's the one you're going to comment back on. This is over. You guys are like so cut from the same cloth in so many ways. But on that one, we are diametrically opposed. But all right. Thank you very much. Thank you very much.

Thank you very much. Fun, fun. Everything I hope for and more. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.