KFC Radio - Pookie and Jett Take Have Won the Internet's Heart Against All Odds - Full Episode

Episode Date: January 30, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 00:39 Pookie and Jett 18:10 Tommy Smokes' Power Grid Theory 22:28 Dante is a crazy person trying to deny that he's a crazy person 32:09 Bruins Season 36:23 Detroit Lions' heartbreaking loss against the 49ers 41:14 Ted Williams watching Piazza hit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGt91JdM7iM 52:32 Chiefs Ravens game 01:00:04 Taylor Swift on the field after the game 01:03:29 Taylor Swift AI pictures controversy 01:10:15 Filming Out of Order in Washington Square Park 01:27:30 Video Voicemails +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Fitbod: Get 25% off your subscription or try the app FREE at https://Fitbod.me/KFC. HelloFresh: Go to https://HelloFresh.com/kfcfree and use code kfcfree for FREE breakfast for life! One breakfast item per box while subscription is active.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Is there anything you want to eat? No. There's nothing I won't put in my mouth. There's definitely a chance I can't stomach it. I mean, you see it lower in the bar. There's countless things I throw up and I just can't get down.

But if you're like, you want to try this people eat it I'm like oh give it a try like if I put like a spider in front of you I ate a spider out in the bathroom last week happy Gilmore accomplished that feat not a week ago It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. It's Clancy and Feidelberg, my pookie over here. You're my pookie.

I saw a comment. Pookie looks great today. I love your outfit. I saw a comment on that. No, someone put up a comment like on their instagram story from that that was the funniest thing ever it was just like a girl making a genuine like heartfelt apology she's like i'm so sorry i brought up the facial spacing of your the face spacing of your face that was wrong with me i was in a bad moment i shouldn't have done that i hope no one saw it it was really really immature and also your husband's a gay i've never been more sure of

anything that's so mean but if you don't know what we're talking about this is the couple that have taken over the internet gone mega viral on social media uh are they where are they big i've seen it so it's tick tock and uh and and and ig is picked up as well um they uh they are like ultra rich he's ultra rich i believe it's a it's a sugar baby situation basically right like but it but it's it's like a very romantic sugar baby situation. This knockout babe, total like beautiful chick, dating this guy who is like, he looks like the villain, the rich villain in like a, you know, in a movie. Like in a, like a coming, like a, you know, you root for the boyfriend to get the girl,

and this guy is the asshole boyfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he has like this slick back hair um and they they just travel the world look at lou i mean with the with the turtleneck that's like that's like i want to be a james bond villain but uh and they travel the world and put up these tiktoks doing like this is my outfit of the day and he calls her pookie and he just he's so weird and like robotic he just always comes in he's like pookie you look great today pookie looks absolutely amazing uh but it so pookie and she her name is campbell puckett holy shit i mean this is straight out of central

casting campbell puckett's the girl uh but she's better known as pookie wait it says georgia based yeah they're from georgia they're american yeah american yeah somebody said the other day that they sound brit, too. No, they're Southern. I think they speak with a very, I think they try to be affluent. They're like country club Georgia. This is how, at least what I've heard. What?

Wait, I just did it. I just did a British accent. I thought for sure they were British. No, no, no, But he does speak like... It's not an accent like that, but he's trying to be... You know. His name is Jet. J-E-T-T. Jet and Pookie.

It's amazing. It's amazing. Like, at some point, you gotta just be like, yeah, we are who we are. We are obnoxiously rich white people. But it's more like, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's this... All right, she's obviously American, but I think I've probably only ever watched, like, the first intro. And that Pookie looks absolutely amazing tonight.

100% sounds pretty good. I think he's doing that you know that fake mid-atlantic thing that that you know the the uh movie stars used to do that just disappeared he's trying to be you know i mean he is i think super wealthy so when i keep saying trying to be like he is he is what he's trying to be uh he wants to be you know the the rich guy jet w puckett and his wife Campbell Puckett from Atlanta, Georgia. Oh, his GMAT score is 770. He's pretty smart. Is he? Yeah, I believe it.

I believe it. I believe it. McLaren and Associates practice transitions. What does that mean uh so i can't tell whether these guys are super rich and don't give a fuck or are oblivious brianna and so so brianna and zach make fun of this and he calls her pookie oh really like she'll be doing a video and he'll just slide in and be like pookie you look amazing and kiss her and then slide out and i remember i saw that before i saw this and i was like what is what was that about and

then i was like okay no they're making fun of this couple but then they made it they made a response video uh she's filming jet all by himself and he's just like brianna and zach we love you thank you so much for making a video like you know doing our like uh you know replicating our video like we love you we're fans of both of you guys have an amazing time in paris and like really great stuff which so like, I was going to feel good for little old Brianna chicken fry and Grammy nominated Zach Bryan to get that shout out. Two kids on the cover. Bro, what a life.

What a life to just be like, yeah, I want to jet to Paris for a couple of days. It's like, yeah, I can, I can too. Let's go.

Oh, that. Cause you can have money but when if you don't have money at the right age or the right you know responsibility in life yeah you know doesn't mean that much right you can have a bajillion dollars but if you have a wife and kids or you're old or whatever it's like you know that's why sometimes when we do those ati questions that are money or age related, I think we always end up being like, you take the money. But there is something to be said for the age. And then when you get both, when you're,

what was Brown like? Brown's like 21 still in my mind. And they're just like, everything just levels up. What used to be like, yo, you want to like, let's just go out. Let's just like go to the club right now. Yeah. It's like, let's go to Paris. Let's just like go to the club right now. Yeah. It's like, let's go to Paris.

Everything up here because of your money. But I thought it was a very savvy move on Jet and Pookie's part to they didn't get offended. They're not, you know, they weren't like upset about it. But, you know, clearly making fun of them. Yeah. But I'm like like do they not realize that or they just be like we know what's happening but we're we're just gonna like take that not take the high road because it's not like what brown and zach are doing is like mean

but it's like you know they were they took a shot and they were just like yeah that's cool yeah yeah now it's smart but what do you not uh fight fire with fire they are uh spoonful of sugar sure yeah but but so they in my mind they are uh they're kind of i guess they're similar to drew walls i was just gonna say that yeah like i think people saw them and probably initially there was some like actual hate being like that's like you know these rich snobs but then i think people are coming around on pookie pookie and jet uh yeah they're just like living there i mean you know unless you they're gonna be people just hate on you for money and like you're just rich and like fuck you you're rich and white fuck you but you know what do you want to do yeah they got pet

names like everybody they're just doing nicer things than you what are you doing if that's genuinely who they are i think i think people tend to respect yeah just like yeah that you're it's it's corny and it's goofy but that's who you are so like cool that's why the internet is is so difficult to navigate but it's really not at the end of the day like i can't say that you can just become a star that part's hard but if you're worried about like people like you like how you're going to be received and your image and all that stuff i would say 99 times out of 100 if you just like if you're just genuinely yourself yeah maybe you'll always find people who likes like yeah like i can't promise that you're i can't promise that your your introduction to the world will go well but if you're like your second wave of people being like oh wait oh shit he actually they

actually do that they're not doing that to get viewers they're not doing that to get money like they actually just do this it could be lame it could be too cool it could be whatever it is people will just be like that's what that guy does you know the i've had you know decades of hate on the internet but i remember my most violent was when i was trying to be dave because dave told me to try and be dave and and then it would piss me off the most because did he have a a direct, like you said, he was trying to be like me? I don't know if he did that, but he was like, just do it like me. And I took it how I took it.

And it wasn't like be El Presidente, but it was definitely just do it like me. And I was like, okay. So I was just like trying to do that voice or whatever. And I remember people being like, he's just trying to be tape. And I would like rail against that in my own mind. Like, no, I'm not. This is literally exactly what I'm trying to do. Like, when you're being someone fake and you're found out, that pisses me off more.

I'm like, no, you son of a bitch. It's not me. It didn't work. Yeah, but once you're – I mean, I would say 99 times out of 100 because, I mean, there are definitely times where you can just still – I mean, I feel like I'm pretty much just myself. People seem to hate it all the time. But for the most part, if you, even if you're something as obnoxious as literally the central casting couple for a movie to be like either the villains or the, you know, not the fan favorite, they'll come around on you. Yeah.

And something, you got to have something like Pookie. you know the not the fan favorite they'll come around on you yeah they'll come around and and something you got to have something like pookie i mean how the fuck is pookie i guess i guess it does make sense for you like southern or british but pookie i thought for sure was was a british thing yeah it's i think it's just an like an affluent thing which i think we tend to associate with the brits you know what i mean yeah but also i think southerners i think rich southerners long to be considered british yeah that's what i mean yeah yeah like that's that their their goal was to be but i mean jet and campbell that's based on is crazy what that that bridge that no but it's a good take though i don't know why it's a good take i just came up know why it's a good take basically i just

came with that 30 seconds you know what that's true though like i i think like i think like rich people like from let's say the northeast are not they're like uh they're like um they're like cutthroat you know and like down south i feel like they want to be they want to like put on a show and like yeah but there's also plenty of that i think it's just rich people because i think in all media we've ever seen like the high class is british people so i think all rich people want to be british in some sense yeah but i could just see like like a new york wall street guy is not trying to be like the the royals yeah down, you have your fucking plantation and you do your... What's that word?

There's some word. You ever been to a party on a plantation? It is awesome, not fun. I thought you were going to say the opposite. I thought you were going to be like, it's actually so awesome and it's a problem. It is not fun. What do they call that? Debutant ball? Is that what it is? That's a thing. I've never been to

a debutant ball. But like both plantations or not, I don't know most,, or not most, but you can just rent out and have parties and stuff like that. All the help is black and everyone there is white. Still, they do that? Yeah, I mean, they're paid. They're not in shackles. When I was in Tallahassee, I went i i oddly have a family in tallahassee and it was i had a a family member i honestly don't know how he's connected like if it's like uncle's cousin second cousin whatever it is but he was a politician in tallahassee

and uh he had like a some kind of party at Plantation once, and I was like, everyone here is white. Everyone passing hors d'oeuvres is black. This is a fucking nightmare. Bro, you forget that we're not that far removed from shit. Yeah. Bro, I saw the other day breaking down how a river still to this day affects Georgia elections. A river? Yeah, like a river that ran through day affects Georgia elections. A river?

Yeah. Like a river that ran through the middle of Georgia. That's where the... Basically, the rest of Georgia is red. It's a red state. That river decides... But the riverbank is still all blue. I love it.

Because that's where... Because of the river, that's where some industry was. And then that's where a lot of the slave trade happened. And then that's where a lot of free slavery, the free slavers lived. And then like that, it's still is all blue. Crazy. It's very weird. But like, yeah, it's still affects it because it just wasn't long ago.

Dude, I, you know, it's still affects it because it just wasn't long ago dude i you know it's really not i i was thinking about it from the point of view of of like the internet the other day and like uh like i think the reason why i was wondering i i've i've had i've had this conversation on the air and in my head a million times when it comes to music and and pop culture and all that like i don't feel old but i am and i'm like i think every every generation feels that way yeah but i think that we are different in the sense that like we went through an internet like revolution you know what i mean like we lived through a such a drastic change in life that like it feels to me like we were once you once you all get on the internet and shit i feel like it kind of like evens out the playing field as far as like age

goes you know what i mean like you can you can be i don't know if i agree with that more so than in past generations where it's like once you were if you were old in the past once you got old you were like you're a dead person because you're not going out there's nowhere to like uh experience anything once you were but like i mean you still had it i think i think it's the same because still just the media you consume in a place like there was still radio there was tv it just matters what channels you watch it mattered but that sounds like you was interactive in the sense that like you can yes but for a vast majority internet it's not right for us it is for most people yeah it's

just consuming i guess so i guess i just feel like the internet allows you to find what you want as opposed to like it was just put on you so you kind of determine what you want to be in a sense where in the past it's like young people do this, old people don't do this. But like growing up, my dad knew all the top hits and the lingo because he listened to Casey Kasem and Top 40 and stuff like that. And then he just... So it was just the station he chose to listen to.

But there's... I think, I'm sure to an extent, there's... Yeah. A more grounding as you get older or like more attachment to the other generation. But I see it like what I see is like people just hating the younger generation just like they've done forever. That I think will always be the same. I think that there will be, I feel like, I mean, again, i guess it's however you live because i i i know guys my age who are living such a different life than me so they are they feel like they seem like they're like 100 years old already but i feel like you if you want to not age this is there's

it's like easier to keep up with if you want it yeah for sure you know for sure um but i was thinking about the fact that like we're like a couple family members away just a couple family members away from like you know farming the land and like shit like that that's crazy that's nuts and you start to think about how like if when when however long into the future when people are like reading textbooks like we'll be lumped in with those people in our time period wait what do you mean like if you were to say like you know when when you uh when you're reading your textbooks and shit you'd be like from 1700 to 1850 this happened it's 150 years span yeah you're reading your textbooks you're

just like yeah yeah so when you're when you're you know filling in the answer on your test you're just like 1700 to 1850 yeah you're just like on a whim throw away 150 years if you were to do like that same age that same span of time you're going from us to you know like you said fucking like slavery yeah so it's so weird that like we we, you know, living in the future with some of these fucking, that's why I say like that internet revolution changed things so much because, you know, it relatively went from horse and buggy to like cars to like fucking personal drones that can like deliver you shit. All in such a short period of time.

It's literally what happens in a thousand years what what is the world in a thousand years if we're if you keep him like if he keeps going at this pace it's like we will literally do just become like weird androgynous freaks in the future where's jackie when you need her you had tommy in here tomm Tommy was just regaling us with his power grid theory. What? Watching Tommy turn into right wing Tommy has been real true. Bro, watching him lose the thread, I always tell him he needs the inception token. He needs that little top.

No, it's gone. He is so gone. We were just laughing in his face like he was like we're just laughing in his face and he was like was this it was it was like out of work no work like just like an hour ago it was just like it was teasing and then tommy started to realize he was the butt of the joke and it didn't seem so funny to him anymore wait wait tell me what is this power grid theory uh well it's just a fact it's not a theory um that's tommy speaking um it's just what's gonna happen you can look it up on tiktok uh it is you're talking about it it is essentially um the the united states power grid is very outdated and very susceptible to attack.

And so when Trump... Tommy did not have this fleshed out. I'm going to sound like I'm butchering it. I'm explaining exactly how Tommy explained it. When Trump is leading, when Trump is leading, they're going to cut the power.

And I was like, okay, so Trump will be president? Who's they? The deep state or enemies? Okay. Okay. And then. The royal they.

And then it was like, so then like. I can't believe. Wait, a very integral part of the question, who's the enemy here? He doesn't have the answer. Could be anybody. Who are the bad guys? We don't believe. Wait, a very integral part of the question, who's the enemy here? He doesn't have the answer. Could be anybody. Who are the bad guys? We don't know.

And then it was like, well, maybe it's Biden wins. And then they cut it. And it's like, okay, so Biden's the president? No, Trump is the president. And then when Trump's leading, they cut it so they can stop the counting. I'm like, okay. And then what happened? And then we just don't turn the electricity back on?

Tommy's like, I got to do it. And then everyone started making fun of him. And it was like, I could see a little switch. Tommy was like, wait, everyone's laughing at me. I thought they were interested in the power grid theory. Dude, I usually make fun of Jack Mack for all that stuff. I got to throw Tommy in there. I start to throw tommy in the mix with any right wing tommy is i mean because you know what it is it's like he got he he got like a

it's this sounds silly but i think when he did his little trump impression for the new york city election he felt like the power of that and was like i mean so think about think about that people laugh when you say things like stupid pavs and they're like ah right right right this isn't even hard i can do this i will give him kella prompter was funny kella prompter was really good. But it's almost like, look, when they say, like, power corrupts, look what happened to Tom Scabelli in a fake election at work. It's like, no wonder Trump runs around grabbing girls by the pussy. This guy walks around here like he owns the joint all because he, you know. It's an election he lost, by the way.

He didn't win it way he literally is trump tommy is tommy trump is is a is a like a when he dies like study his brain man that's that you'll understand exactly why trump won and how politics works and all that shit because tommy trump is the real deal and then and then tommy went into he's like i'll find i'll find it and like he found the holy grail pulled out a clip and he's like, I'll find it. I'll find it. And like he found the Holy Grail, pulled out a clip and he's like, here it is. It was DiStefano. Was Chris DiStefano talking about it? No.

Chrissy Pollitzer. Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy is another one. He gets down where he's joking about it until you're like, you're not joking. Yeah, no, not at all. So clearly not been joking and like and to be fair to him he's clearly not been joking right yeah it's not like he's doing you dooping he's like no i'm serious about this that is so fucking good the power grid won't go down when trump's winning so that no other biden votes can be counted yeah and then but then he's like, and then like 100 million people will die.

You know what was the best, by the way? It seems unnecessary. I missed the other day when I was in Nashville. I keep saying Nashville. We were in Kentucky. Me and Pat were on a little secret mission down in Kentucky. And so I missed everything that happened that day. Caught up with uh the dante stuff your tweet saying dante called into radio like six hours ago

saying why does everyone think i'm crazy and tonight told everyone to pick their sides on civil war he's like no way i'm the most I'm the most unhinged person here. Four hours later. Choose your sides. This is the start. It was a tweet about like, I don't even know, fucking guns and protection. It was the Texas border of the National Guard. Right, right. And he tweeted this might be the beginning.

Choose your sides. This might be the start. Yeah, this is some fucking political potions to start a Civil War II. Oh, man. He's another one. Study his brain. Shoot him in the chest and study his brain because he's the exact internet, like the

person on the internet who gets, what's that word? Fucking like, you turn somebody crazy. Brainwashed? Yeah, brainwashed. Red Pilled. Red Pilled is another one. God, I swear to god i have dementia i really fucking do i'm gonna sit here until i get this word it's on the tip of my tongue radicalized oh yeah god damn it at what point i just i want to jump inside your brain and and figure out how how demented you are so i can compare

and be like okay john's as demented as me or like oh no no john's john can remember everything i'm demented that that's what the the thing that i would not just like you think i'm crazy you're crazy i'm like i know you don't that's the crazy part but i don't think you're crazy crazy is not the word i would use to describe you. That's not true. You're not crazy. You're far from crazy. You should talk to my medical professionals.

That's not crazy. That's not crazy. That's, you know, you're mentally fucked. But you're not crazy. As a matter of fact, you're the most, you know why you're mentally fucked? You're too level-headed. You'll just be like, I don't care about that. And it's like, yeah, you're right. I shouldn't care about this either. And then I bring up something else. You're be like i don't care about that and it's like yeah you're right i shouldn't care about this either and then i bring up something else like i don't

care about that either i don't think i should care about it either too i just i don't care but for some reason it keeps me up at night what do you do at night i've watched jurassic park four times there's just nothing worth caring about like but i i've said a million times i don't like this i don't like this. I don't want to be this way. It sucks. Well, okay. Put it this way.

If I had the choice between John Feidelberg and Dr. The Don, I'm picking John Feidelberg. I will say, yeah, being a passionate person, I watch these people on the internet, and they're lying, but whatever. But they're passionate, and they're're happy and they're active and they're proactive in life and i'm like that's great i just can't do it but that your way is way better but my way is very poisonous because everyone starts with me as a liar they all think that you're a liar no i think they are so like i have to like work my way okay you're crazy like i have to work my way past you be like you royal you being a phony where i'm like they really care about that i think that's a

i think that a healthy dose of skepticism is the way to live life i think but i can't comprehend like someone being genuine to that extent. To that extent. And honestly, I still, I see, I think 99% of the time I'm right. But I,

I, I think like, like, okay, they do have that passion of, at least you can ham it up. Fine. We all ham things up. But as long as like you actually do care,

I'm like, all right, they can be as animated as they want about it. But when something like, when Tommy's out there, like there like getting now now i'm kind of coming the other way i don't like tommy wasn't super i wasn't offended offended but when tommy's like when it's going light was going off his head we're like wait i'm people don't are aligning with me right here it's like do you thought we were gonna fucking join you on this power grid journey i i think in this era particularly i think always in life but in this era particularly where everybody can make a buck or get some fame by being phony it's more correct

if you will i think the the smarter way to live is to be like i'll keep you at arm's length until you prove it yeah as opposed to buying into everything because then you are a sucker right then you are you are one of those wake up and grind like you just every everything's awesome everybody is what they are everything's cool all the time and it's just like it's just not true yeah and i i can't i can't i guess if you like make it a life goal to live that way because you think it's like healthier for you like fine but it's like if you've had one ounce of experience in life in any sort of field job family situation whatever you can see how people are liars and scumbags and cheats and steals and

you know and it's like all it's all uh you know uh all proportional so like it's like if you see all this shit in your everyday life, imagine what it is that like, in every other field and everyone, you're talking about famous people and rich people

and powerful people. Everybody is a lying fucking scumbag. So, act accordingly. I can't believe that people think it's, you know,

it's like, why would you take someone at face value? They're all lying. I don't think that's crazy. I'm sure there are people listening to us right now being like, these guys are crazy. For sure.

But I think of them, I would listen to them and go, these people are stupid. I think they're stupid and crazy. If you want to talk about the extremes. Yeah. You are a gullible, fucking stupid, believe everything you see. We are crazy assholes. But again, I'd rather be crazy than than a sucker yeah so whatever we'll probably die early because of it but at least we didn't live our years like a lot of reasons

mainly the gun uh so but anyway shout out to pookie and uh pookie and jet Just living, also living the dream. You know what I mean? There's probably a lot of haters who are just like, I want to fucking dress like that and go to that and go there. They dress like dog shit. Well, I meant, you know, have the money. I actually don't think I want to live like that, though.

Like? Just, I don't know. I don't want to live any life where i have to film a tiktok every day yeah that right that that like it honestly that's like would but they like doing that so that's all good that's true that's they're they're not like yeah pookie we gotta do another now but now they are well i was gonna say because eventually we'll see once you stop doing you like they're gonna need. Once you stop doing it, you're like, they're going to need it. Once you stop doing it for you, it stops being fun. It is true.

I know that's your argument, but I'm still going to force you to do something eventually. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I'm going to force you. One of these days, one way or another. You shouldn't have to worry about when you're buying tickets to the next big event. I looked at the lineup for the Lovers and Friends Tour 2024. Oh, I saw that. That was crazy. Is it only like one day no it's a weekend it's a festival okay but it's still too much for even a couple days like it's a 325 ticket they're all sold out now but it's like 325 like 500 and 700 for the tears it's the absolutely the greatest lineup of all time if you're where is it vegas

vegas uh if you're if you're my generation or you like that generation of music it's insane It's absolutely the greatest lineup of all time. Where is it? Vegas. Vegas. If you're my generation or you like that generation of music, it's insane. To the point that I remember that that came out a couple of years ago and Usher and a bunch of people came out and were like, I'm not doing that. I don't know what that is. And now I guess they're legitimate and it's real. So when I saw the flyer this year, I was like, that's not going to happen. That's not real. And apparently it is. It's insane. Like the bottom

row little font are like icons. So I'll be using GameTime to get in the building for the Lovers and Friends store because they sold out like instantly. GameTime is the fast and easy way to buy tickets for sports, music, comedy, and theater events near you. If you're doing it live,

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So nobody beats them. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with game time download the game time app create an account and use code kfc for 20 off your first purchase terms apply again create an account and redeem code kfc for 20 off download game time today last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed um i also i I think there is a little there there is I think that we think the way we think and act the way we act and know what we know a little bit because we are sports fans I think if you're a sports fan and you can dabble in the crazy and then it's like it's like cosplaying crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see that. Like, we still are, I will be gutted, and I'll fucking cry and scream and fight. But then when the season ends or the game is over or whatever, and a little bit of time goes by, I can go back to being like a normal person. But it's like, whoa, I got a little crazy there. Like, the 2022 Mets Mets like when that season ended I after a couple months I was like I can't ever let myself do that

that was like irresponsible as an adult to let myself be that emotionally like compromised I was like this is fucking insane I'm a grown adult acting like a child I'm doing that a little bit with the Bruins this year oh yeah you're back well no just like I know last year I mean I don't like no I'm not that a little bit with the Bruins this year. Oh, yeah? You're back, like, you're... Well, no, just, like, I know last year...

I mean, I don't, like... You mean, like, pulling back a little bit? No, I'm not pulling back. Just, like, I have the thought in my head again where it's just, like, I'm going to fucking do it. And last year was very different in the sense that... They're going to do it? They're going to win it, you're saying?

Yeah. I mean, they're the best team in hockey again at the All-Star break. They are the only team with single-digit losses. They are. Last year, they were on a record pace, right? But the thing, I wouldn't say they're far off the pace. I think they have 61 points at the All-Star break.

I don't know what they had last year. Probably 120-something. What's that? Like 100 points. Like you're a good team. 100 points, you're a very good team. And I don't live live tweet things anymore, so I'm not as much as a Bruins guy as to watch every game,

but I would guess I'm not viewed as much as the Bruins guys. And that was kind of partly where every time I got happy, it was just like, doesn't matter, they win the cup. You're right, but also I'm having fun. As long as you're having fun. So this year, I'm like, I'm really starting to be like, fuck, they're going to fucking do it

again. Last year, I was like, okay, that's okay. If I get my heart broke twice in a row, this will be very tough. I still think they're dodging the fraud allegations as a franchise. Despite two Stanley Cup losses,

first round exit, I still don't think they're choke artists. As a casual, I don't hear that. Once you become choke artists like the Leafs, then yeah, that's a problem. For sure. I also think there's something to be said for you and all of hockey.

Like, literally everyone in New England is a Patriots fan, was a Patriots fan. You know what I mean? It's like, the Bruins is like your thing. Yeah. It's a very big hockey town. But as far as hockey towns go. It's still like, you're not going to, you know, well, you would know better than me. I'm sure there are a bunch of like, you know, casuals and girls and parents and stuff that you can catch up on the Bruins bandwagon.

But it's not the same as like Tom Brady and the Patriots. Right, right. Where it's still like if you can talk Bruins hockey, you know, you're a pretty legit fan. So I can see getting that much more. To me, like football is like uh everybody does it you know like baseball to me is hockey for you like where it's like this is I is a second job for me football we show up on Sundays we all get crazy and then we go home but uh but yeah I think getting a little bit crazy for sports is uh it's so funny when i do like taylor swift stuff or uh i posted

about nikki minaj and megan the stallion or whatever and people are like who cares about that and i and they're all sports fans i'm like do you realize how crazy we are it's yeah everything is like we're so yeah it's just sports for this or as a matter of fact our thing is more it's more like we're doing what they do yeah anyway what what happened to the detroit lions words cannot explain or quantify like i've seen it myself i've been a part of things like that and i and i i don't want to pile on but i'm i'm just here to to tell the lions fans like that was it it's not you're not bouncing back. Dude, they fucked Dan Campbell. Have you seen the quotes all over the place where it's like, I told him we'll probably never be back or something like that?

Well, I want to see his exact quote because it's not his exact quote. But you know what? It should be his exact quote. But the, let me find it. That was it. That was it. That was it. That was it. They...

I'm not saying... They're making quote cards for this stuff. That sucks. This may have been our only shot. Bro, he goes on to say, like... He goes, I told our team this may have been our only shot. We're wrong. I'm wrong.

Yeah. No, and he's like... And if they don't come in here next year, next year it's going to be twice as hard. And if they're not ready to work twice as hard, it's going to be twice as hard to get here. It makes it a motivational thing. And all the goal guards are like, this was our only shot.

That's not what the fuck he said. And also, that's really unfair because they're coupling that with him going forward. They're doing that so people pile on. Quote cards on the internet have gotten out of control where with him going forward. They're doing that so people pile on. That's the dude. He was reckless because. Quote cards on the internet have gotten out of control where like. It's so framed to either become a meme or to. Just tell the whole story.

Pile on someone where you're like. I'm sure that got quoted a million times. It's like, well, yeah, and you fucked it with the field goals. That's not at all what he fucking said. No. And I think that's fucking bullshit that that game i have i don't know i haven't seen many games get away from a team that quickly eight minutes where it was just like like i remember uh the the butt fumble game it didn't it was just like, like I remember the butt fumble game. It was never like we had a lead and lost it, but it got, it was like three minutes. That was insane.

That was the craziest thing I've ever seen in sports. It was like three minutes of game time. It was like eight minutes of real life. It was bananas. But for a team to be dominating, basically, the way they were, and then back-to-back turnovers and that drop pass lights out. It was just downhill, snowball. I think that first field goal that he did go for was the one that –

Yeah, of course, the going forward. The one at the end of the half. And I was thinking the exact opposite where I was like, if he goes for this, they're going to stop it. And that's going to be a complete change of momentum. And then they kicked it last second and hit it. And I think that was like you abandoned your philosophy. Yeah.

Watch what happens now. Go with what got you here sort of thing. I hear that. I also do think I'm saying that. That's in the spiritual sense. But, like, dude, there was a tweet I saw, right? Like, I woke up at, like, 2 a.m. And I saw a tweet from someone still defending the analytics. And, like, if you're defending the analytics on knocking on field goal,

tie the game. Tie the game with seven minutes to go in the fourth quarter. Here it is. Expected points lost for Detroit. Gibbs fumble. I don't even know what that stat means. I'm done. It ends with, even if we know the Lions didn't convert,

the failed fourth down plays weren't as big a swing as the other plays. Yes, they were. They were massively huge plays. That's another thing that I think we don't realize we lived through the very, very birth and infancy of it is analytics. And we're still evening out from it. Like, it's. We lost our fucking minds. I was always team, like, everything.

This is helpful. Like, everything, right? I'll adapt it. There's some stuff here. There's also some other stuff. The answer is always somewhere in the middle. Yeah. And I right? I'll adapt it. There's some stuff here. There's also some other stuff. The answer is always somewhere in the middle. Yeah.

And I always thought that. And last night when I saw that tweet, I was like, fuck this. Because you can never, analytics can never lose. Yeah, because they're always

will find like a snap. It's like when you say, well, it was the right bet, but it was just the wrong outcome. Well, now we're living in a fantasy land. Right. Now we're just making things up.

The analytics will always be quote unquote right. Yeah. Then they're not always right. Something that can't be wrong can't be right. Exactly that. It's like, but it's wrong. Right. Did you ever see the footage of, I just saw it for the first time recently.

I heard this story, but I never saw the footage of ted williams watching mike piazza hit at age like 15 and it's a great video and ted williams is in like a uh like it's you know 70s outfit he's got like a leather jacket with the lapels of his shirt like down over it like slick back hair you know and he was like this kid holy shit like this kid's got a fucking swing on him like oh my god he's hitting the ball and all of it is he's hitting the ball better than i was at my age like it's all still like propping up ted williams uh and his dad is there and he's like this guy is gonna be a fucking stud and he was young and i don't know what happened in between but then mike beata was like barely

drafted it was like he was a favor to like tommy tommy lasorda's knew his dad really i think he was drafted like literally last overall or something crazy like that and then goes on to become you know who he was and so there's a million you know i'm not just saying it's like ted williams said he had a good swing so he should have been drafted first overall but there is something to be said for a guy who like like was just watching that being like that's fucking right yeah i do that and that's right and i'm sure you know people looking at numbers and all sorts of shit said otherwise but uh yeah you can't and i don't even i i do not maybe like in the early earlier in a game different circumstance you can tell me what analytics say seven minutes ago you can tie the game you do that

just do that yeah you just do that and you know what you need to do is factor in a new variable of your analytics fucking model you know what i mean because it's like those things take into account all sorts of shit i don't know find a way to quantify uh you know momentum in a sense because it's like these things absolutely change the feel of a game yeah and it was already snowballing on them but that game was after that it was like but i i i remember i agree wholeheartedly with tommy and marty by the way oh it's you're so sick though for i get it but you're sick you gotta have it this is why you guys are all

you're all pieces of shit you're all pieces of shit sports needs them but you as a person do not need to want them oh I don't I guess and it's coming from a Yankee fans and a Duke fan and a Patriots fan

and people who don't have to worry about this. Patriots did it. What? Patriots went for it. You can't go from nothing to champion. You have to take your steps. You have to climb the mountain. Bro.

Patriots went from nothing to Drew Bledsoe, lost Super Bowl in New Orleans to the Packers. Bro. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. The Lions have paid their dues. They haven't. They haven't paid their actual heartbreak. They've paid your dues.

We're just like, we're losers every year. Bro. You got to pay your dues as actual heartbreak, not starting the season where you never even had a chance. Yes, there's an argument to be made. But when you're the only team left, you're sick if you watch that game and we're rooting for the 49ers i was not i was rooting for the lions but that this is the natural that's fair but if you were like like they were the conversation we had in the office it was me marty tommy ken jack nate uh a bunch of others and it was like almost the

majority of the people were like i kind of want to see the niners win you're bad people no i want Nate a bunch of others and it was like almost the majority of the people were like I kinda wanna see the Niners win I was like you're bad people no I wanted the Lions

to win but this is this is the natural order but what sucks is and this is why you're wrong it's not

gonna be for them it won't be they won't have the natural progression maybe not probably not but also the nfc fucking stinks so it's just it's it was it was like the mets in 2015 it was like they are absolutely the

better team they should win this series and and they didn't and then it was not like okay we'll go get them in 2015 it was like that was it it's over it's the same thing in 06 we were the better team that we were injured but it was, they are the best team in baseball. They will win the World Series if they get there. They didn't. It was over. They never got back. There are certain times it's just like.

But you, the Bruins in 2011, heartbreak in 2010. Like, you need that one more step to really. Yeah, but you're not the Lions. 70 fucking years, man. Dude, the Bruins had been 40. 70 years, not even an appearance. 74, I think, 72 maybe. The – I don't know if there had been an appearance.

Blown lead bigger than this one. Blew a 3-0 series lead. Yeah. And you just got to fucking chip away. They had won one before? What's up? They had been to the Cup. The Bruins.

Yeah, I mean, when you are... I don't think they went to the 80s. They're the only original team that's never gone. Like, at some point... I don't know. Bork must have played for them. There's just a... You're being the analytics guy right now.

You're being the analytics guy. You're right, I am yeah but also an eye test guy because i've seen it i've seen it happen you need that fucking one last time the year you think you have it you need to feel your legs cut off under you they didn't feel that they had it because they are the lions but no they were starting to believe they were believing every very beginning and you need to have your legs chopped off and be like okay this is a lot harder because you can't go from thinking it's fucking you can't hit the lottery because you're gonna end up dead you need to fucking work that is true and you need to fucking put in time and see how to handle it because there is there it happened it's kind of happened with bills fans too there's nothing more and bills fans luckily they've been chopped down a few times there's like yeah i think yeah it's when you go from someone who had nothing to someone who has everything it's like it's not fun to watch you don't want to root for it it's

like the the overnight comedians yeah you want right you want the comic who did the open mics and did it for 20 years and and like wow i made it versus like i just went viral and now i'm selling out everywhere it's but and then here's the thing to be dangerous about too for lions fans is i think i think bills fans are kind of starting to experience it a bit you don't know you're not you're not prepared for the hate that you get when you're you're you're so used to being a loser. And guess what? Because then you don't know how to handle winning,

and you end up doing it like you're fucking annoying. Like the Bills fans are the most annoying fans there are now. Not there are, but they're up there. And they used to be like. But what you're forgetting, though, is it's like, to go back to the comedy analogy, it's like the comic who was there in the beginning doing all the open mics and has been like they've just been around for fucking 70 years they're an original team they've they've had fans from like the original inception

of football that i've just it's it's more it's more the fans than the team because i do get what you're saying about the the team needs to be like we we like got there and fell and then you need to like but as a fan base they've been die hard need to learn fan bases matter a lot with the team you need to learn how you need to learn to i can't i cannot imagine i want you to say this to a detroit lions i want you to look at a fan who's like 75 years old and been and and tell them no no no you need to suffer a little more that's fine i'll tell them i want them i'll tell about it i'll tell about aaron boone i'll tell about blowing a 30 series lead before winning the cup uh it's it happens you gotta have it no but you you you can't say that like a another old boston fan could say that maybe like because they did have like an 80 year drought and all that shit but for a lions fan to be to be even not rooting against them, but even being like,

again, that's how it goes. It's disgusting. You lack empathy. You lack a heart. You lack a soul. But I've lived it. I've been there. No, you didn't.

But no, but I saw it. Like your grandfather could maybe say that. You did not live that. But I did live it. I saw it. I saw what happens. I didn't have all the heartbreak at that time yeah but i saw what's necessary it's the same reason i knew everyone bet on the rim was a fucking idiot i saw i've seen that team before

for some reason the lions feel different and i don't know why maybe it's because the city is you know kind of mocked and viewed as like a down and out city. Yeah. Where it's like Boston was like a joke, but they still are like, I don't know. I don't know what it is, but the Lions feel very, when I live my misery, Lions, Detroit Lions fans and Minnesota sports fans are the only two people I will like have a conversation.

Yeah, yeah. Because even Cleveland, like the Browns, but it's like LeBron getting you a ring was like meant you know like that was like that's like basketball like the pinnacle of basketball i they're the only two people i will ever just be like come on in yeah like i'll pour the shots like we'll just drown our sorrows together and i and i hate to pile on but i don't know football as well as as another guy does but i know like losing better than anybody and this teammate getting back it's just going to be the way because like the dan campbell shtick kinda i don't think has like longevity but even that like

you're you're right in a sense that either he learns this. He's either got to make a change or it doesn't work. Probably out of a job in two years. Yeah, because it's funny and it's good when it's working. And when it's not, it's like, whether it's right or not, you'll be like, I want Bill Belichick. I don't want the fucking funny guy anymore. You know what I mean?

But if the coach takes his lesson learned, the team takes his lesson learned, the team takes his lesson learned, the fan base takes his lesson learned. Can Campbell be a different guy? I don't think he'd be a different guy. You just go, it's like we're saying with analytics as a whole. It's somewhere in the middle. It doesn't have to be everywhere.

It's somewhere in the middle. I mean, it's a very young team. There's no reason for them not to be back. It's just you make your adjustments. Except for the universe. Like all the reason. You're looking at that roster and you see Amon Ross, St. Brown.

You see Gibbs. Goff still has a couple good years. Hutchinson. There's Stullets. Yeah. They have no excuse to not be back other than they're not willing to put in the work. Wouldn't have been crazy if somebody saw a 17-point deficit and was like, I'm just going to hammer the Niners at halftime.

You know who did? You know? Oh, no. I was going to say you and Ben Mintz. All right. Ben Mintz did? Yeah. He hammered the Niners?

I kind of just was scrolling Twitter. I think I saw him say he's putting Niners plus 300 or something like that. Wow. Is that what it was? It was I had two Niners. It's so rare that people make sharp plays here that you've got to give them respect for it.

Brings me to my second point with football. I know these guys here bet everything under the sun, and Dan had his Bills bet, and then I think he had a Ravens bet as well. Stop betting against the Chiefs.

I bet the Chiefs every single way. Travis Kelsey first touchdown because I've watched that game a hundred times. I've seen that game. So here's what's weird. Here's what's weird. People are – this is actually a great time to be a gambler. It might be too late. This might be it.

Because there's this little like arbitrage window of people saying and knowing that Patrick Mahomes is like the next Brady or like the current Brady. But not really acting like it. Like still talking about the Ravens and the Bills. As if they ever had a shot. But that's the poison of living in like modern time. The Brady era. Like people bet against Brady all the fucking time. Now we look back with rose-colored lenses and say, why would you ever bet against Brady? People bet against Brady all the fucking time. Now we look back with Rosecoast Lens and say,

why would you ever bet against Brady? People bet against Brady in this game every single time. Yeah. And Brady would go out and win every single time. Well, then maybe it's – Maybe things will be different after Brady. I don't know. Maybe that will always be the case and people will just always be stupid.

Because you're always rooting for a downfall. People always are trying to find the reasons for a downfall. It's one thing to – Okay, if you want to bet on someone and just be like, I'm hoping, but to be like, again, I'm not. I almost feel like sometimes being a little removed from things, you can see it clearer. I'm not in the trenches as a football guy.

There was no, I don't care about MVPs. Mark Jackson was not beating Patrick Ponce. not beating patrick yeah it was not happening it was not happening and i and i saw dan was 18 to 1 and i know i i'm sure he probably knew it in his head too but wanted it in his heart but it was almost like why why are you even doing this like like there's no chance there's no chance they're not losing they're winning the super bowl too like dude like they will have the same conversation in two weeks like they're not losing i i thought maybe they'd lose to the line they're playing so fucking good the lions could have been the lions ran lions chiefs would have given me pats ramps super bowl one vibes in 2000 where it's like the gritty upstart yeah yeah yeah yeah if the if the lions

made it now you're playing with a little bit of like black magic yeah like now there's something special in the air that is the only thing that can defeat patrick holmes holmes is like magic because it's like he is brady it it maybe it's because there was not enough time in between it's like people are still thinking about brady yeah so like if he came along 15 years from now and maybe you'd be viewed differently i'm not saying people don't think i'm you know i know people know the chiefs and moms are great but it's like but they're really not acting the same way they were for like the end of brady where it was like he's going to win every game yeah he's gonna win every game at least at least you know i i don't know what their

roster looks like at you know if they if kelsey and, you know, I don't know what their roster looks like. If Kelsey and everybody retires, then I don't know. But, like, if he has some weapons, like, Andy Reid's there. If everything is still basically as is, they're not going to lose. He is. Start acting accordingly, guys. Just start. Like, just save your breath.

We don't need to do the big arguments. We don't need to do the comparisons. Like, it's over. It's over. He's winning. The comparisons are, Dave put out a video yesterday. The comparisons are interesting. They are. The comparisons to current players in the league?

No, to Brady. To Brady. To Brady. Where it's like, first of all, to be clear, if he wins the Super Bowl, he's still merely keeping pace. So you're not laughed out of the conversation. You're also not like... The only thing I'll say, though, is Brady is so weird because he had a decade gap. And I don't know if Mahomes is going to have that.

Yeah, he might not. Because that's where... So I think what Mahomes has is this weird potential where it's like if he doesn't have, because what's the weirdest thing about Brady is that gap in between where it's like, how did they not win one for like eight years, you know, and then win so many after? Where if Mahomes keeps going, it's going to be fucking crazy.

Yeah, yeah. But, I mean, that's what you would have said about Brady five years in too. Yeah, but there was – and probably incorrectly, there was still like – you know, he wasn't – when did he have like his 50 touchdown season? Probably – I mean, 07 was the record year. And then so there was still – so he still lost a lot after that? Lost. No, not really.

Well, I'm just saying that there was still, like, Brady always had that tag sort of of, like, the game manager and the defense and all that shit, whereas... Which is just also, like, it's just a wrong tag. But I don't carry a tag whenever you want. But if you look at the numbers, he was a top three quarterback every year. Yeah, yeah.

I think, I guess it'll just be like the fact that like if if it keeps going like is mahomes just gonna get to like six really quick he might if they don't have any other good quarterbacks in this goddamn league but the the the thing with you guys are gonna play right uh that'll be the card you guys play no my my card is gonna. I see it coming already. But it's ridiculous looking at it now, and I love the guy, but the Joe Burrow, Patrick Holmes comparisons a year or whatever ago. Yeah. It's crazy.

It's crazy talk. I love Joe, and I want him to get back and be in the conversation, but right now, stop. And same thing with Josh Allen, and same thing with Justin Herbert. There's nobody. It's him. It's just him. Yesterday, though, Tom Brady doesn't give you that ball back

every single drive of the second half. I mean, yeah, listen. Put the ball six times back to him, say, here you go, come tie the game. Yeah. I know a guy who's not doing that. That's why it is, you know, and you can always just kind of flip it both ways. It's like the Ravens, Ravens got to be, on the one hand, I'm like, don't beat yourself up because you were not going to win that game.

On the other hand, it's like those penalties and some of that play at the end there was bad bad football yeah like i mean that that that that taunting penalty was insane dude in that moment right there and then the i mean the fumble you can't i can't like knock him for it because that was just a great play but it's just like, boy, those were moments that are just like, fuck this. Similar to the Lions where it's just like, I don't know, man. It's just that there was something working against us. It's Patrick Mahomes and the Black Magic. I don't know.

It's just not going to happen. And you know what it probably is? It's probably Taylor Swift. Because really, the bigger thing is it's not like, do you know football? It's like, do you know life? Do you know football? It's like, do you know life? Do you know, you know, pop culture? And like, it's just, this is the year of Taylor. More so than the year of Holmes or the year of Kelsey.

It's just, she made like $4 billion and she's going to win a Super Bowl. She should get a ring. She should get a ring. She'll be at the Super Bowl. She'll be at the parade. She should get a ring. She should be at the super bowl she'll be at the parade she'll get a ring she'll be at the banner ceremony she's the you know 12th man it's crazy it is crazy that that uh the the aftermath with travis and taylor swift two very funny moments the speech was funny because he went full like meathead yes

and she was just sitting there like that's my doofus that's my fucking doofus but prior to that did you see her being like we have to go over here no it was very funny it was like they hugged they kissed and she was like pointing to like the the trophy ceremony like the stage and stuff but she was like i think we need I think over there is where everything, she was just like, kind of like, you know, directing logistics as like girlfriends do,

you know, being like, okay, like great. We got to get over there. That's where everybody is. So like, let's move over there.

And it's just like, yeah, this, this two are just fucking boyfriend and girlfriend. It just happens to be the most ridiculous goddamn relationship of all time. And there is just no way that she's there and in the booth and in the suite and all that shit and and you know they lose yeah just not you're not getting you're not getting uh uh like heartbreak shots camera shots of taylor swift you're not doing it it's gonna be

swag surfing and and handshakes with britney mahomes and hugs with donna kelsey and all that shit i love the uh her her quote to romo i love that i thought that was like one of the coolest things she's like like just like like that that i mean but she's been solidified as a cool person for a long time for me what'd she say but where like romo was like i like you're so great oh no she said to romo, you're great. And he's like, no, no, you're great. And she's like, but we do such different things, don't we? And like the way she said it, we're just like,

like she had like interest it seemed like. It was genuine. She wasn't just saying that. We're both just like, it's so, this is so cool. Like we're both just like in our own fields doing such a great thing. And like, and I'm sure people could spin it as whatever they wanted to. Like I thought, I was like, that's the person who's being like, hey, we're both happy. That's cool, man.

Bro, Taylor Swift would have every right for so many reasons to just be absolute fucking good if she wanted. For so many reasons. No, she wouldn't. We've said that before. She doesn't have the number one reason, which is just don't be. True. we've said that before she doesn't have the number one reason which is just don't be true but if like the world i would i would be and i i think i would be like uh no i'm justified if the world treated me the way the world treated her and then like she still came out on top i'd be like fuck all of you all of you even the weird fans like where were you you know what i mean like

so the fact that she's still like see even let's say it's a front i don't think it is but even if she's just like the phoniest phony but she puts on a smile and says nice things to you like cool by me yeah because someone on her level dealing with what she has to deal with doing what she does all the time just just from like a point of view of stress just be like i don't know i'm sorry i was an asshole to you that day i was in between fucking tour dates while i was traveling to see my boyfriend in the fucking league while i was dealing with ai pics you know it's like you could just be an asshole because shit is stressful on top of the fact that you know like the world fucking tried to bury you for

you know years on end uh but uh yeah taylor is gonna be kissing travis at midfield they're gonna he's gonna say i'm going to disney world with taylor swift and like it's just it's written in the stars niners fans pack it up don't even don't even fucking bother man where did you fall where are you on the ai pictures? I don't know. I've gone around in a circle on them a couple times. I don't have much of a stance. I didn't see them or anything like that, so I don't know. I know they exist.

I don't know. The thing about them is they are so ridiculous that it's kind of like, I want to preface this by saying, I think it's fucked up and weird and creepy and like shouldn't do it but if it was like uh if it was like a selfie that she took or something like that or like it looked like a real picture and it wasn't and people were like oh my god like taylor swift sends like nudes to travis that look like this. Yeah. It's like she's got she's painted from head to toe in red with fuck me on her ass cheeks in the stands of a Kansas City Chiefs game. You know what I mean? Huh?

It's like like she's getting fucked by Oscar the Grouch. I think it's obviously a violation, but but it violation But it's not like the same as like It's like Nobody in the world thinks these are real Yeah but I I think it's A good thing In the sense that like

Finally it'll be cracked down on Yeah This has existed forever Yeah like Photoshop And like it's been bad forever. And we, at a time, you know, we came in where, you know, when I was, like, 12, I saw, like, Topanga shirtless. That was huge, right?

Like, I probably shouldn't have done it, but whatever happened, happened. Sorry, Topanga. I was at my friend's house. I didn't pound off to it. So, yeah, I saw, quote, unquote, ai images of nude celebrities when i was a kid and was like whoa holy shit but like yeah it shouldn't exist and it's very interesting that like someone chose to do it to taylor swift like this is something that should have been regulated and should have had problems and and uh laws on the books to prevent it

and ways to punish people who violate them forever, and no one ever has. But then you decided to nuke Washington, D.C. And guess what? There's going to be a response. Like, since the start of the internet, we just let this slide, let this slide, and then you decided to walk up to the president and punch him in the face.

It's like, well, now there are going to be humongous president punch him in the face it's like well now your service is gonna take you now they're gonna be humongous ramifications and i think it's good i think they they should have been a long time coming i mean i guess you could just uh punish like the punishments i guess if you get if you can track back that you made these yeah you're really in trouble to me it's like uh i don't know who knows what this guy was saying is real or not, but the one guy who I think popularized it, I don't think he made the, his account was ZVBear. Yeah. And he said, all I can think of when I see Taylor at these games is these pictures,

which I think is more like being like, yeah, when I see her at Chiefs games, I think about the photo i saw she's getting fucked at a chief's game yeah you know and he tweeted like like i'm a swifty this is terrible he was like when they make documentaries about this i'm gonna be the villain and he wrote like it's never been more over for me bro like i think he was more like oh fuck like i shouldn't have tweeted that out i've totally fucked this up uh rather than like i'm the one who created them and like yeah like this like you're a weirdo for putting it out there so they weren't like sexual no they're sexual but they're just so so fake

they're they're it's she's she's getting fucked by oscar crouch she's uh naked uh and her butt cheeks say fuck me and there's like fans in the crowd like pointing at her and then there's just like a guy having sex with her I think is another one but just all like the faces you know they were like hyper realistic pictures of Taylor Swift are going around that it's like the face is hyper realistic but nothing else here yeah there was not a single moment of like these are real pictures because that that's the real danger of ai uh fake deep fakes in my opinion is like make it look real and make it look like she made a sex tape make it look like she you know takes these very explicit

photos of herself which she has every right to do but also when that goes out that like changes your perception and your reputation and all that sort of shit this is like these are fake these are these are fake yeah you know uh both bad but one i think yeah way worse than the other the way they were described i thought it was like sex which i guess it is in a sense in a way yeah i thought it was like people at home in bed having sex that's right when i when i heard that I thought that's what it was going to be like. This is like Travis Kelsey and her like together. And it was like, it's literally Oscar the Grouch giving her back shots.

Like, guys, we don't need to. I almost think like, I mean, as a woman, it's probably different. But like if something like this happened to me, I'd be like, this is ridiculous. Yeah. This is silly, guys. I'm sucking Oscar the Grouch's dick. Like, what? You know? Rather than being like like this is ridiculous yeah this is silly guys i'm sucking oscar the rogers dick like what you know rather than being like this is this is like a i is probably nice to like play even flex your power like that's gone i'm gonna i'll change the world now with

that too yeah well like that yeah like if if i i think with ai stuff i'm like i i'm like it's not real so it's whatever and like i would think the same thing i'm like well yeah it's i don't know it's not me so what do you want me to do but obviously things are exceptionally different it's also funny to watch uh how quickly shit gets scrubbed from the internet when people are about it yeah yeah like i don't know how they do that how do you do that how do you stop all you've been told your whole life is the internet's forever it's not if you're beyonce if you're j internet? All you've been told your whole life is the internet's forever. It's not. If you're Beyonce, if you're Taylor Swift, if you're Kim Kardashian, it's not.

I don't know how they do that, though. I feel like they have to call the fucking they, Tommy's they, the power grid people. You've got to delete all those pictures. Because just tracking it down, individual accounts, I can't imagine unless you just pay someone, like, a boatload of money to have people to do, like, a million people to do that. It's like trying to stop a literal virus from spreading. It's like, you can't. It's just gone. But they do it somehow.

It's wild. But, you know, shout out to Oscar the Grouch deserves some in a retribution as well. Justice for Oscar. Free Oscar. You're deranged. some in a retribution as well justice for oscar free oscar that you're deranged if you make oh a taylor swift oscar the grouch sexy picture that's nuts i don't know why but oscar is like the last one i would pick that's that's some funny shit um what else we got anything else before we dive into voicemails the essential your

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I might have to start working out because if Nate is big, that would suck. Dude, imagine if Nate could beat you up. You can't live in a world where Nate could beat you up. Do you think Nate could beat you up right now? I think Nate could take you. I got a lot of problems. Nate's got fire. Yeah, that's the thing.

I wouldn't be ready to fight. We'd be talking shit, and I'd be thinking we're just going to keep it verbal, and he would go spider monkey. And I'd be like thinking like we're just going to keep it verbal. And he would like go, he would go, he would go spider monkey. And I'd be like, wow, wait a minute. Next thing you know, Nate beat me up. So I'd have to get on my FitBot, bro. That was your Donald pizza, Larry. Yeah, yeah.

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So add FitBod to your workout essentials. Join FitBod today and get your personalized workout plan. Get 25% off your subscription or try the app for free at fitbod.me. That's F-I-T-B-O-D.M-E. Oh, this is very quick. We did a sketch show today in Washington Square Park, and we've never been more profiled. Oh, my God.

This is crazy. This stuck with me all night. Clearly, it stuck with me. night. I was thinking about it. Clearly, it stuck with me. It's four days, five days later. It was Thursday morning? It was Thursday morning. Thursday morning.

So, Washington Square Park is pretty empty. It's raining. All that stuff. We're waiting for Jackie. Jackie's half hour late. Jackie time is a real thing. Jackie time is for sure. Yeah, 30 minutes.

So, it's pouring rain. Jackie time is a real thing Jackie time is for sure Yeah 30 minutes So we're It's pouring rain It's December January Whatever month it is All the trees are dead There's no cover anywhere In Washington Square Park

Except for Under the humongous arch So we're like We'll just stand under the arch Wait for Jackie Be out of the rain Wait for the rain To sub that

So this is what You, Trent, Pads, Jack And uh Greer Owen Nate Nate Nate and what a crew we're standing there like to be fair a long time 15 minutes 20 minutes half hour whatever it was yes and we're just talking whatever i'm sure we're being loud at some point and next to us is a palestinian memorial this woman comes up to us jesus christ and she just goes i'm not saying you would

but you guys know not to fuck with that right like we're like no she's i'm not you know bro how did you not lead the podcast i forgot the way that she phrased it. It was like, I'm not saying you would. I'm not making assumptions. You're not making assumptions. I'm not making assumptions here. But you guys know how to fuck with that, right? And we were like, first of all, it seems like you're making humongous assumptions.

Huge assumptions. You're making the one assumption that we all know you're making. Wait, can I close your eyes real quick? Think about what that girl looked like. That's what you look like. That was going to be my next question. I picture a white woman with a Jewish white woman with curly hair and glasses. I actually disagree. You're wrong. I disagree with you.

I thought she looked kind of cool. She had a skateboard. I thought she looked cool too. I think that we all would have been friends with her if she didn't have profiles right away. I thought she was cool, but she definitely looked like exactly what I would think. What are we saying here?

I don't know what you're saying. I thought she looked like a cool chick. No, I think that like oh i i kind of she's like a what what are we saying here i don't know i don't know what you're saying i thought she looked like a cool chick uh no i think that she would be the type of girl like those motherfuckers are definitely gonna hit that the uh it was like now to be fair in the moment again if it was a perfectly sunny day and we've been standing there 15 minutes we're definitely gonna fuck with that thing like it's a fair assumption that we like we're just standing there for 15 minutes, we're definitely going to fuck with that thing. It's a fair assumption that we're just standing next to it for 15 minutes, 20 minutes, whatever. Like, yeah, we're going to fuck with it. It was pouring rain.

It was the only place of shelter within a three-block radius. That's the reason why we're standing here. We're standing here to be out of the rain. Wait, what was it? It was like a memorial or like the people or a thing? No, it was a thing. There were candles and pictures and flowers. So they thought you were just kind of like, I'll kick it or something.

That is a bold assumption. Now, let me add to it that Jack, Mac, and Greer were there. And you bet your ass. They weren't opening their mouth, were they? Yes. Were they talking about topics like that? No, the most important thing that probably, I guess, would say a fair job profiling would have been Greer's

Washington January 6th shirt. When she walked away, Greer was like, Greer was wearing a Washington January 6th shirt and then went, didn't even realize I was wearing that. Like he just took it off the top of the pile. I got so much J6 gear at home, man. You never know what's clean and what's dirty. That dude is the fucking funniest.

That dude is like he's living like everything is a joke, but just for himself. Like he doesn't have a big following. He's not doing it for clout. He's just like, this shirt is funny. I bought it for him. I like buying Greer funny shirts. That's a fair, okay. I don't think she saw it.

She did not see that. It was just something like, once we were making fun of it, it was like, wait, Greer, what the fuck? I don't think she saw that either. I think she just saw seven, eight white guys. Did you have your mustache? Were you looking like this? I did have my mustache, yep.

And I was wearing a flannel. No, it's honestly, if anything, it's an argument for stop and frisk. I'm making assumptions. You guys know not to fuck with that how old do you think she was probably nyu kid washington square park she was skateboarding and she was just walking through or she was under i she came out of nowhere uh yeah she came out of nowhere but i think she was coming over she probably saw from a distance going over to take a look at it and then saw us next to it. It was like, I'm going to say this. As soon as I joined the crew and saw that we were standing underneath it,

I was immediately looking for other places, as I'm sure you were, other places to take cover. There was nowhere else. There was nowhere else. It was just right next to the Palestinian candles. But I was like, I just want to be as far away from this as possible. So there are no assumptions made. That's fucking great.

Another great skip, by the way. Another fucking home run, dude. The Zin culture is, I was trying to think, I guess the only other thing that sort of compares in recent years is the seltzer revolution in the alcohol world. But the zin world is, I mean, these guys are just fucking killing it. Chuck Schumer with a completely reasonable platform. Never been more reasonable like like just says don't target kids

with addictive nicotine and people were like yeah that that was that's a that's a quote card headline thing exactly yeah and i did it myself too i made a video of it but i put a little asterisk and then in small font on the i said you know saying to not give it to children uh if he comes for you know the the just the product itself and and the adults and all that different story but right now just being like we should probably regulate this and stop marketing it towards children i don't know what their marketing is i guess it's i think it's probably julia with flavors i know massachusetts uh california you can't do flavors god so it makes it like candy Sort of like, yeah Yeah, like citrus and stuff like that

Yeah It's, but I mean it is It's good though, right? I mean it's better, it's a step in the right direction If you're gonna just start doing it Don't do it, but if you're You know, chewing tobacco or a dip or whatever This is a better alternative, right?

Yeah, I think so. It's got no tobacco in it, which is the cancer-causing. You're still going to be wildly addicted to a substance. I don't even really. It's fine. It's just something to do. I saw. So how many pouches will you put in a day?

I'll go through a little over a 10. How many is that? You do 15 a day? Yeah. And how much does it cost? I usually do like two or three at a time. Eight bucks, I think. Oh, wow.

That's pretty cheap. Yeah. I thought this would be like a package. I get at the bodega by my apartment. It's like walking into an Indian bazaar every time I go. They're always working deals on me, and they always get me. They'll get me five. They'll get me to buy five, buy one free.

They'll get me to buy 10, get two free. I don't even know if you're actually coming out ahead. No, absolutely. And sometimes I'll walk in. I'll just order six and assume that the deal happens. Usually when I get six, it comes out to like 46 bucks, whatever the math is on that. 44.78, I think because so you're putting in like a couple at a time i usually go start with two and then i'll add once those start to lose flavor i'll add how many how many hours a day

are you got butterfingers today are you do you not have like every time i'm talking to you do you have women probably that's crazy it's just something to do i don't even feel anything from it really i don't even know if i could like i guess i guess i could you do it like you talk fine i can't tell there's a bunch of pouches in your mouth or maybe you've been doing it for so long that maybe maybe if you start talking without them i would notice that's your real voice? Imagine that if you couldn't talk without them. I never, I don't know if it's just because of, I guess it's just if you don't grow up around it. Like, I just, nobody in my family and nobody, none of my friends did it. That's crazy.

My entire life, every one of my life, dude. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if it's a hockey thing. It was hockey and baseball. Nobody's dipping in basketball. Yeah. But like pass play played the same sports. You played baseball though, right?

Baseball. I played baseball. Hockey. I never played baseball old enough to be doing shit like this. Yeah. So maybe that would have. But I don't know. I'm pretty.

I don't like. I don't like the thought of it. And I don't think. I don't really get like pressured into that sort of shit. Certainly not dip. Maybe I could't know. I'm pretty, I don't like the thought of it, and I don't think, I don't really get like pressured into that sort of shit. Certainly not dip. Maybe I could do these. I do not think you'd care for these. Yeah.

You don't want none of this, do we guys? Yeah. Did you see what I made Jackie do the other day? Yeah. She dipped? Or she did a mouth job? Yeah. She was,

she probably lasted like six minutes. She was like, I'm so dizzy. That thing I say in that sketch. How long does a pouch last? A half hour. But it depends the brand. You just put it in real quick and then spit it out. I think 20 minutes is probably a safe bet to say how long.

And then the buzz lasts for longer? No. The buzz and the pouch last the same and the pouch lasts like the same amount. Got it. So you put it in, it starts right away. You feel it right away. Pretty quickly. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I saw some people being like comments all over social media, but just as this thing went viral, people being like, I dipped like for years. So I thought like I could, I would be fine with this. And like, I am zooming when I put it in. Yeah. Yeah.

It just makes you dizzy and uncomfortable Yeah I mean the description you gave to Trent I was like Yeah this sounds like a way to end Yeah no it's not fun Choose to do it every morning I genuinely look forward to finishing my coffee I've had about two waters in me

I haven't eaten anything You guys are addicts But like I could tell you i i don't think i just like doing it i'm never like i need as in if you were you can't do anymore but okay fine you're a weird you're a weird person like that

yeah whatever whatever like triggers addiction in the human body i don't think it's passion we started the show with this i'm empty in all the bad ways, but also the good ways. I feel like... I feel like Zin... My experience with Zin is people like you who were dipping and now do Zin.

But I guess there's a lot of people who are just picking up Zin. By that standard, I probably picked up Zin. You haven't you would i didn't know i had dipped like three years i think i think i quit dip in 2020 yeah maybe 2021 and then so what made you do this boredom just something but you but you were bored and didn't dip yeah i don't know i don't know like i just did like dipping run its course for you you're like i don't know i don't know like i just did like dipping run its course for you you're like i don't enjoy this anymore no dipping was just like i think i went three days and i was like i haven't had a dip and i was like i guess i'll just stop did you dip pass yeah i dipped in high school and college and then and then honestly me and every single person i

know was vaping and vaping is probably fucking awful for you yeah and then i was just like i'm gonna start zitting don't need a vape anymore and i was like yeah throwing a couple of these a day i'm good but vape is like awful dude and i can't but so you're doing a couple tins or a couple pouches i'm doing i'll do a whole tin probably a day wow yeah why it's i mean it's it's truly one of those things that's like it's i guess there always was smokeless products but like this i feel like if you were if you are work at zen or you work in that field or whatever i mean it's got to be like it's a revolution all of a sudden you're you know which europeans gonna be watching us like we

fucking told you yeah for fucking for 100 years yeah i really like getting like playing like hockey and like people would you know know a kid who played in sw would know a kid who played in Switzerland, know a kid who played in Sweden, know a kid who played over there. They got snoozed. You just put it in your lip and we're like, fuck that, dude. No American tobacco? No, thanks. Yeah.

And it's just infinitely better? I like dipping more. Really? Yeah. I can't even fathom putting in a chunk of tobacco. Yeah. Bro, looking back on it, do you realize how fucking- Disgusting. I can't even fathom putting in A chunk of tobacco Yeah Bro Like

Looking back on it Do you realize how fucking Disgusting Disgusting and insane it is That you guys are doing that Yeah Like And I

I Watching Watching guys like Pour water out Drop mud Dirt In there See that's

That's rookie ball though I was I just go You know pop in there yeah but a lot of other people don't man and and then like if you can you have a little bit in fine but when you're you know i'm like are you fucking ridiculous are you a goddamn child you're gonna just have this conversation and you're holding a bottle of your throw-up spit like get the fuck out of here man i remember they hated that i bet because if you if you don't if you don't live it too like it's it's crazy foreign like i mean i i guess i didn't even

realize like what it was like in college. I don't, I don't think I knew the difference of like chewing tobacco and dip. Yeah. That was all new to me. And there was a kid, one of my buddies was like a neat freak paired up with a baseball player and he would spill his dip bottles all the time. And my friend would just go nuts on him all the time. And I was just like, this is nuts.

This guy's just spilling bottles of his brown spit everywhere. It was just not in my town. Not that I know of, at least. I don't think I knew anybody. Yeah. Yeah. It was a big Long Island thing. Like, every kid dipped in Long Island.

It was my entire life. It was everywhere. Crazy. I think I dipped as a 13-year-old. I was like dipping at 13, I think. I probably started dipping at 13. I started my freshman year of high school, so 13. Did your parents know?

I think no. I mean, you wouldn't do it in front of them? Yeah, no, no, no. Even when I was an adult, I wouldn't do it in front of them. I'd do it in front of my dad, but not my mom. All right, let's get the voicemails. Yep. I was an adult, I wouldn't do it in front of my mom. Right. I'd do it in front of my dad, but not my mom. Right. All right. Let's get the voicemails.

Yep. I was just walking my dog, and it made me think of this would you rather question, and I definitely want to hear Jackie's opinion on the take, but would you rather live life as a dog, but have a human's brain? So you live a standard dog's life and everything. You live with a good family, but you have a human's brain, so you understand everything that's happening in modern civilization, and you understand the modern trappings of life and everything you've been missing out. But you're a dog, so you live in a cool dog's life. But you've got a human brain.

Or would you rather live as a billionaire that has no arms? Yeah. And you can't get any, like, prosthetics or anything to replace it. You just got to live with no arms, but you're a billionaire and you're set for life. Dude, he threw me a curveball because I thought it was just going to be the opposite. Yeah. And I was like. Who would take... If it was just mix and match,

you would take the dog's body with the human's brain. No. Wait, wait, wait. So you'd be a human with a dog's brain. Yes. Not like... Because you basically are human with a dog's brain, but if you had literally

a dog's brain, it would be even better. If I could get even dumber, it would be so ideal. Well, okay. So here's what I was thinking. At first. Bro, if I could know three things. And that's it. And I guess like you wake up every day and you just like you forget whatever else happened.

You just kind of like start fresh. If you just like fucking I know when the postman comes. I know. But what would you literally do as a human? As a dog, you can just sit there and sleep and lick your ass and stuff. As a human, you'd be expected to get up and go places and do things, or would you just sit on the couch? I guess.

Because you have to make money. Yeah, I'd have to live with my parents forever. I mean, you know. Yeah. Right. You know what we're describing. I mean, you know. Yeah. Right. You know what we're describing. And you're choosing that. Yeah.

It's like, would you rather be a dog with a brain or a person? And you're taking that. Yes. Yeah. I genuinely don't think it's a question. I don't know, man. You know when people are like, ah, a dog's life. You know?

Because a dog is living. like yeah because he doesn't have anxiety well that's the thing he's not stressed out i think though that's the brain is the ideal part of the dog right but when you're a human you have the expectations and the pressure and whatnot to be a human make money start a family all that, all that shit. Not with a dog's brain. Huh? Not when you have a dog's brain. Yeah, but. You won't even recognize that external pressure.

But you can't do anything. A dog can still do dog stuff and have fun. I can watch TV. Not really. I can watch TV. You can watch TV, but you can't. Dude, if I'm just like a dog sitting there and I can watch TV Dude if I'm just like a dog Sitting there and I can't talk

And I'm fucking like Are you guys going to vote this guy president again Don't get me wrong The first few years Even the first 5 years, 10 years might be tough Because you're just on the inside going like But eventually you're just like Doesn't matter to me because I'm going to get pet

I'm going to get scratched, I'm going to get fed You just get treated like a king Eventually once you realize hey you know what my opinions and my thoughts and my actions wouldn't really matter anyway we're all just a speck of dust i might as well just get belly rubs and and but i don't like any of that stuff either yeah the petting and shit you don't i mean me if i could just sit there and get petted all day long because also also think about as much as people already say things like oh it's great like what a dog's life you know if you were smart enough to know like okay if i don't shit in the house if i don't eat up the carpet like if i'm the best dog they're really gonna love me you know

yeah then they really i'd be at the table all day what if i'm what if i'm a dog in some family that's like no dogs on the furniture, no dogs eating human food? Well, okay. Yeah. If you have one of those shitty families, then you got to run away. And you'd have a smart enough brain to do it. You could run away and go to a good family. I'm thinking you'd be such a smart dog, you'd go to the fridge and paw at it.

And then when they grab the food that you want, you'd go like, ruff, ruff. You could literally communicate to them because you'd be smart enough to know this is what's going on. It would take a little while to get it adjusted to the fact that you can no longer communicate or live your own life.

You're completely dependent upon them. There'd probably be some lonely days and nights when they leave you alone, but again, that's awesome. Yeah, I do not. Using your paw to hit the remote control, trying to turn the TV on. Yeah, I don't like being dependent on people

And the What are you going to be when you're brainless But at least I have the brain where I don't realize I'm dependent Got it With my brain It's not the intelligence It's the ignorance Ignorance truly is bliss

I agree with that I always think about the people who Not are brain dead But the middle of the road stuff where it's just like i you know i work my job i do my manual labor i'm out i'm outside all day i earn a living wage and i just go home and have a six-pack and i am just thrilled thrilled about that that's great there's something to be said for that beers buds and babes it's like yeah you're like the guy from uh office space you know what would i do with a million dollars um but anyway this is not the real question real question is a billionaire with no arms

i think i'd be no prosthetics is Because again, you want to talk about being dependent. You have no arms. Yeah. You are rich enough to pay somebody to be your arms. Like arrested with... With proxy. Yeah. Not even proxy. Fucking fling me.

Yeah. You would have to pay somebody you'd be like i'm paying you to be my arms and i'm paying you like 10x that to really be my arms you know what i mean yeah like you're not okay i'm paying this person like feed me and shit now i'm paying you you're like wiping my ass you're jerking me off you're knowing my secrets you know what i'm doing you know my dirt i'll be honest if i lose my arms you kill yourself i just don't masturbate anymore i'm not having you got no night dude i don't know i'll have sex though well okay yeah masturbations out well that's right well you can give me a hand job if you're not my wife that's an interesting question i don't have just fucking if you

hire a proxy and he jerks you off, are you masturbating or getting a handjob? That's a philosophical question for you. That's a Chinese riddle for you, Rhonda. Depends how it got started. Did I ask, did I just say, like, hey, jerk me off? Yeah. Which I would imagine most of the time you're not cuddling

and it just gets hard. Usually you're just like, if it's your proxy, you're kind of sitting on the couch and he's sitting on the other couch. And you're like, well, I guess it's also interesting. Are you hiring a man or a woman as your proxy? I was thinking,

man, so was I. But if you're thinking about things like this, you would probably hire a woman. Yeah. You also, you gotta be thinking like, you gotta hire like a nurse almost.

I would, I would, I would, I think I probably have two. I'd probably have like one for care and one for like here's my buddy who we hang out like can you open my beers for me on my jerk off bro wouldn't it be funny if you had a guy and a girl and

the nurse is like do you want me like take care of that for you like you're in bed or whatever you're sick you're old whatever it is you're hard you want me to take care of that he's like no no I have I have, you know, Enrique over here. That's not for me. Like, whatever, dude.

How about that? No arms is really tough. No arms is borderline impossible, but I can't be a dog. I can't do it. I cannot have you touching me all the time. Like every almost every time a dog gets touched it doesn't want to get touched no that's not true they do want to get touched but like i like they're always like rolling over when they come to you they want to be

most of the time yeah you're just touching a dog yeah if if i was just having people touch me i'd jump in front of my car yeah Yeah. That's probably what dogs do. Yeah. No arms or blind? Blind. Blind or no legs? No, no arms. No arms?

Yeah. No arms. I watch movies and TV. That's like my thing. Yeah. It's like my favorite thing to do too. Yeah. I gotta be able to look at stuff.

Although, yeah, but even like if you're blind and have arms, like you're probably not like exercising too much. So. Why not? Those are basically the two things I do. Oh, I got you. You can like run and do little sit-ups. Running.

No. How could you work out with no arms? You would just have to do legs and like, can you do crunches with no arms? I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. It just seems weird that you wouldn't, you would just be like,

I don't know that dude, the one armed basketball player declared for the draft. Did he really? Yeah. I love, I used to make this joke all the time. We were younger. Anybody can declare for the draft.

Yeah. I just, I want to throw my hat in the ring again. I've done this, you know, 20 years running. I am officially available for the for the draft. Yeah, yeah. I want to throw my hat in the ring again. I've done this 20 years running. I am officially available for the 2024 NBA draft if anybody wants to do it.

All right, next voicemail. What's going on, KFC crew? Been hesitant to submit a voicemail for a little bit, but I'm in the bar right now. Saw a girl rocking the Feidelberg Amsterdam fit, so I thought that's an omen. What is? Fights. now saw a girl rocking the feidelberg amsterdam fit so i thought that's not an omen what is um fights if you could drop that mashup you've been listening to the adam song x juice world that would be great i've been trying to track it down for a while but in my last year my undergrad and

going on a little trip soon to the states i'm from canada and the thing i'm most excited about is i know there's going to be some pirate waters down there. My question for you guys is, what is something that you get so irrationally excited about that is so missing the point? I'm going to my final grad trip with all my buddies and all I'm looking forward to is

a couple pirate waters. Thanks. That's a great question. Also, the mashup, that mashup has like 11,000 listens, and I'm like 10,000. It is not some big popular mashup. Is it on YouTube? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. It's not on streaming, right? I think it's called Pop Punk Never Dies. I've never listened to it on my phone. How does that work, by the way? YouTube legit counts every single view. I feel like sometimes those numbers are pretty easy. Okay, it's three years old and has 30,000 views.

Yeah, it's called Pop Punk Never Dies mashup mix. By Mark Hayes, H-A-Y-E-S. How did you find this? I think it's Google Pop Punk Mashup. Yeah. The, yeah, but honestly, I didn't pull 11,000 views out of nowhere. I'd seen it with that.

Yeah. So you watched it go from 11 to 30. I don't know how many are me. It is, I would get, honestly, I would guess since I played it on the show people googled it and found it through that and that's how it got a lot of the views but i've ever it had 11 000 views for sure because i was like this is crazy that i listen to this fucking match up with 11 000 views all the time it's like you when you were the first people to first person to listen to

andre 3000 that whole album yeah one of like a thousand people um the uh like right now i could tell you if i went back to amsterdam i'd be i'd be focused on those pancakes i'll tell you this i went back they were i went to the same place for some reason they're not they did not have the same to be fair it was i hadn't i like it was like we landed and then went. I hadn't slept much. It was like 8 a.m. kind of deal. It might be better. I was just tired. But I don't think those are for you.

Those are for me. Those are my jams. Yeah. Chocolate and caramel and syrup and all that shit. I was like, oh, my God. I like traveling. I like being in an airport. I like being on a plane. That's new for me. I like being in an airport i like being on a plane i uh that's new for me

i like being in on the airplane the uh the complete you are completely like disconnected in a way well first of all you're disconnected if you want to you can you can connect literally if you want to yeah or you can just be like i was on the plane but the like i can't do anything right now i can't do like the work i can't watch the kids i can't go run the errands i can't go to work i'm on this fucking tin can in the sky yeah i'm just gonna chill for four hours and that could be i i usually watch curb curb is i don't really watch curb i've seen outside it's still season 9 though It's been too long

I've watched it like 10 times I always watch Curb so that's like the one time I really like I associate Larry with planes Or I play some video games And it's like I'm excited like when we go to Vegas Because we've been doing like short trips really Vegas is like a decent chunk right

It's like a 5 hour flight Oh yeah Like 5 hours Short trips, really. Yeah. Vegas is like a decent chunk, right? It's like a five-hour flight. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm like five hours of pure bliss. No, no, can't do nothing. So I like that. I don't really like the airport. But, yeah, you know what?

I like the airport bar when we all get there early. That's cool. Like if you're delayed and you're just there early that's cool like the you know if you're like if you're delayed and you're just like sitting in an airport i don't know if i love that but if i'm with you guys uh you could delay me if we're going to work and we're delayed and this is like all of us i'm like i don't know whatever yeah we'll just like make the video sometimes i hope for a little delay if i didn't be was if i wasn't able to chill at the airport from within like 25 minutes yo well you, you would have been the other day.

Right? I feel like you rolled right on the plane. We rolled right on the plane. I texted John. I said, I don't think Pav is going to make it. I was waiting for the text. I was like, I know what he's doing. He's going to let me rock.

And I was like, I can't wait to pop in. I was like, if Pav just does not make this flight, I should be mad at him but i don't want to be mad and also it was bullshit like travel here they didn't book our travels we had like these ridiculous we had to fly and then drive and it was a really early flight so like we shouldn't have been traveling that early so he kind of had some leeway to begin with but i was just gonna be like it's okay dude so i didn't bother texting him being like yo i didn't want him like being nervous or like fuck i'm not gonna make it and so i was just like i don't know i'll just go do this alone which is why like i'm a terrible boss no but people just walk all over me for the rest of my life because I'm just not going to be mad.

If he texts me and says it, I was just going to say, it's all good, dude. I was like, I should say something to somebody. I just said to John, I don't think Pabst is going to make this flight. Did you text him? You didn't think I was going to make it? I was sitting on the plane and I think it was about 20 minutes

to take off. I was like, he's got to make it in the next 20 minutes and I didn't see him at all so i was there on time it was just the clear whoever was there for clear was just ruining my day was trying to make me miss my flight they were just yo clear needs their own podium yes this whole we just bring someone up in front of you is nuts you just need to have your own podium and then if a billion people sign up for clear like you need two podiums three podiums but like when i'm like okay i'm next and then it's like no you're not oh no you're not oh no you're not like or they at least have to have a rule where like you can only get cut twice yeah i got cut by three individual clear people and i was like if there's a fourth there's gonna be a murder suicide i'm killing everybody here fourth

person that's great dude we had the other day all the stewardesses cut in front of us like 20 of them yeah that's i mean i was like don't you guys have some other entrance right that's these people all should have the you you have the employee entrance you have the clear entrance we have the poor people entrance. They weren't even apologetic about it, which pissed me off. Well, I think you probably do it so often that you're like... But there was so... If it's like...

Two people. A team, it's like four of them. Yeah. It's fine. It was like 20 people. It was insane. That is crazy. Where the fuck did all these people come from?

Yeah, that's nuts. And if you're late and you're Russian, that happens. We also need to... I'm going to run for president. My platform will be... One, I am repealing the Patriot Act. Whatever act has all this TSA bullshit. And two, whatever we do need to keep,

we are upgrading to the one where you don't have to take anything out. You know, there's that one... You don't have to take your shoes off. You don't have to take your pants off. You's that one like uh you don't have to take your shoes off you don't see your shoes put everything in yeah no no it's like like i went i went oh yes we sometimes yeah yeah yeah i know what you mean uh every every airport yeah like just print the money fake billions it's the airline industry everything's like fake trillions get rid of all the old ones we're're abolishing the three lines for one line rule and everyone's getting the super fancy x-ray machine

where you don't need to take anything off or any of that shit. I think you could win on that platform alone. I'm undoing all the airport madness from one freak inside job 20 years ago. Crazy town. Exit, exit. Yeah.

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Just dope. I don't even know what that is. Yeah, it's like you chop up almonds and some, I forget, some green. It's good. I've made it. By the way, pork chops, criminally underrated food. Crazy underrated.

Like people get steak and they get salmon and then chicken is like the king. Pork chops. Yeah. And I got crispy maple mustard chicken. Oh! That's a big one. Dude, those are all things that if I was reading a menu at a restaurant, a fancy restaurant,

I'd be like, yo, this is what I'm getting. And that's at your home that gets delivered to your house in a box with fresh ingredients and everything arrived in pre-portioned packages where you just got to mix and match, pour it up in a pot, mix it up in a pan, pop it in the oven, bingo, bingo, bongo. Next thing you know, you have ethnic foods and fancy foods and all sorts of shit you've never even eaten before

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So you order all your lunch meals, all your dinner meals, Oh, play. Yeah, that's the guy who I DM with him about pimples. And he DM me being like like i was so nervous and i embarrassed the fuck out of myself he i think he introduces himself as zach boy is it boy zach hey what's up kfc radio crew uh it's zip boy zach kevin you should understand that reference a quick question for y'all it's two-parter so first what is something that you've come all the way around on in life? So for example, I used to hate avocados and guacamole. Um, and one time my wife got me to try it when I was drunk. Um, and now I need it with every Mexican restaurant meal that I get. Um,

went 32 years without it because I thought it was just gross. I don't know if it was consistency or the color. Uh, but now it's, you know, basically part of my life. Secondly, what is something that you still can't get around on? So for me, and some people think I'm crazy for this, but I have never used lotion or chapstick in my life. I think I used it once when I was a younger child and I just could not bear to stand the feeling of lotion on my skin. So example if my wife like uses it and somehow like touches my skin i get completely grossed out if like chapstick is around me like i just get viscally like nauseous um this also comes down to glue sticks which i haven't figured out either but

now that i'm an adult i don't really have that in my life anymore that's besides the point um so what is something that you've come completely around on in life um and then also something that you still can't get past um and quick update uh i was in the city recently saw gutenberg but where you're right it was probably the best show i've ever seen um 10 out of 10 would go again even though i think it's ending this week um but all right let me know viva yeah this is the dude that i talked to more than anybody was that i didn't know the good birds already any i was just talking to jake bass about that he just saw it too uh this is the guy i talked to more than probably anybody else in my life uh shout out no no eyebrows team yeah um it's the first time i'm really seeing them it's like like an online meetup. This is weird.

This is weird. What's something I've got? Oh, iced tea, for sure. Unsweetened iced tea. Unsweetened iced tea, I think, is the mark of an adult. Yep, because you're not an adult. Pabst, do you like unsweetened iced tea? Yeah.

Oh, okay. Maybe my theory's disproven. I thought unsweetened iced tea, not only did I not like it, I was like, why does this even exist? Yeah. This is bitter, disgusting. Who would like this? Now, I will say I put like a full lemon into it. I don't put sugar and shit into it

but i do put a lot of lemon so if you just gave me straight up black unsweetened iced tea i wouldn't really enjoy it but with the with the lemon i love it and i it just hit me when i was like probably 30 and i was like oh my god that's the sign it's not age it's not your body it's not marriage it's not kids it's like can you enjoy a nice glass of unsweetened iced tea? Ugh. A similar, I guess, would be dark chocolate. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good one.

Obsessed dark chocolate. I mean, I kind of did a blog about this where Anne Hathaway, I came around to. Yep. That's a big one. Yogurt is new for me. I eat yogurt every day. A couple months. The texture and all that really freaked me out.

My progression was sour cream. Like, blue cheese to sour cream to yogurt. I mean, you know, I eat tacos like a thousand times a year. So I got heavy into sour cream. It was actually, I was eating a Taco Bell my whole life not realizing that you could order Supreme and that means something. Like, when you get Taco Supreme, that means with tomatoes and sour cream you can get regular tacos just like

meat cheese lettuce and if you get supreme that means tomatoes and sour cream and i didn't know that and i like one time ordered it or whatever it got upgraded and that was kind of like the first time i really had sour cream and i was like this shit is fire and i now i am obsessed with sour cream i think it's my number one uh my number one condiment i think it's completely slept on and that led me to be like because i didn't eat yogurt because i thought it was weird and i was like bro you are shoveling sour cream into your mouth you can try yogurt and then i did one of those granola berry fruit mix-ups and i was was like, this is like dessert. Yeah. That can't be good for you because it tastes like dessert. I think they're pretty good.

It can't be. It tastes good. If it tastes good, it's not good for you. It's not possible. If you get like the fucking acai bowl with the fucking peanut butter and chocolate chips and stuff like that, probably not. But I think granola yogurt berries is good. I mean, that shit is good. I don't know if you buy it at a store.

I make it for myself every night. I let it sit for a little bit. I put chia seeds and flaxseed in it. I let it sit and let those swell up a little bit. That sounds sexy. Absorb some moisture. And I fucking whack that before bed. What's something you can't come around on? You've gone all the way around and back again on subtitles, you piece of shit.

Yeah. Well, you're back out on subtitles? Yeah. I think it's because since I started going to theaters more, I just got more used to no subtitles. Theater's different, though. Theater, the sound is in your ears. Yeah. You surround sound.

Like, when you're going off of a TV, that's probably... You're still subtitles past. I'm still, yeah. Hell yeah. It depends on the scab over here it depends on what you're watching like if i'm watching like a movie movie i probably won't okay if i'm watching like an action movie or like uh something like that i'm almost the opposite when it's like an intense like intricate movie i want it on yeah i want like i just retain things

better i know better who people are and I remember plot points and like, what's going on better and just, so if it's like, a convoluted thing, I almost need it more.

Fucking, I, one of the most disloyal things ever is leaving team subtitle. That's pretty crazy. We put on clothes, bro. I was gonna say,

yeah, once no one bought the merch, I was like, fuck you. I can't profit off this? Fuck you. My number one can't come around on and it it always has been, and it always will be, is banana. Bananas?

Bananas? Yep. I can't do it. And more, not even banana, not even bananas, banana bread. I see banana bread. That's crazy. I love all that stuff. I love all types of baked goods and pastries and breads and all that shit.

And I see a loaf. And I even smell the loaf. And I'm like, that is going to be good. And I take a bite and I hate it every time. And banana is the same thing. It's such a good on the go. Good for you. It fills you up.

All that shit. And I take a bite every single time I try I usually don't try if I don't like something I'm out I try with bananas and I just can't do it and then Roan is the same way but he does

he forces them in his mouth I think he's eaten a banana a day for like 6 years I don't know if he still does I don't like this dude I can't's eaten a banana a day for like six years. I don't know if he's still doing it. I think he is. I don't like this, dude. I can't think of something I can't come around to. I got a lifelong beef with like mint desserts, like mint ice cream. Oh, that's a great one. I will never come around.

Fucking losers. Me and Trent had the keep mint in the bathroom 2024. Keep mint in the bathroom is one of my biggest like mint chocolate. Get out of here. Peppermint patties, get out of here. I fuck with some frozen peppermint patties. Disgusting. The first thing who ever thought of that, it's like, let's put mouthwash with our treats.

Sick. Fuck. You are sick. Fuck. Mint is mint. Do you think mint was a flavor before it was a product, you know? Like toothpaste and mouthwash and stuff like that yes yeah for what meals like where are we putting minted tulips that's about it right i don't know it feels to me like we were doing mint for like toothpaste and and toothbrush and shit and then

we're like and now let's put it into our chocolate i don't think so i mean it's not because it's like a plant yeah it's like somebody was putting mint on what what what what what recipe like requires mint skull was weirdly enough mint before it was straight that was its first that's funny yeah that's weird it's like doing that's when the remix is popular than your original um i think a lot of these though are as you get older you come around on certain things you know like avocado is probably i bet there's a lot of people out there who agrees with that i bet there's a a decent amount of foods like you know um whiskey is probably one that people come around on yeah caviar and cargo and all that bro i saw video. Wait, caviar is the eggs? Yeah, black eggs. Little black.

I saw a video of a fish getting like de-egged or whatever, and they just sliced them open and squeezed them like a tube. I'll never eat that. Really? Oh, my God. You're missing out. Because you know what caviar is served on? What?

You know, pancakes pancakes a little creme fresh uh see i mean i could probably get down with that delicious you're like hiding it kind of but if it was just like a little sweet a little salty but bro this this there was like thousands of the black eggs like coming out of them it reminded me of the pimple popping yeah that's probably why i got fed it on my algorithm because it was like a satisfying thing and i was like people eat that shit you never had it i i have but i i couldn't tell you probably like once or twice and i and i don't think i really know i think i had it with burt i think we had it in the end to be honest probably on all those things yeah uh i probably could not tell you i could not tell you what it tastes like though i remember doing it and just

being like i don't know, whatever. What about escargot? That's snail, right? That's going to go snail. That's snail-like body? Yeah, it's a lot of butter. Yeah, they're really good, too. Because of the butter, you think?

Yeah. That's not for me. I don't think I'll come around on those. Some of those fancier things, I think people don't come around on. It's more like you have an adult's palate or a child's palate. Some people are chicken fingers and fries for the rest of their lives. You know what I mean? I got buddies who eat chicken parm and chicken fingers, french fries, burgers.

That's it. And then there's people like you who will probably try to – is there anything you won't eat? No. No. There's nothing I won't put in my mouth. There's definitely a chance I can't stomach it. I mean, you see it lower in the bar. There's countless things I throw up and I just can't get down.

But if you're like, you want to try this? People eat it. I'll be like, oh, give it a try. Like if I put a spider in front of you, you eat it? I ate a spider out in a bathroom Last week Happy Gilmore accomplished that feat Not a week ago

It wasn't even a challenge or anything Pat had eaten one with a blindfold on Joey put a spider in his mouth I mean it's a dead spider obviously But uh Wait like a Dead spider or like to be consumed spider Yeah it was like you bought like a dead spider or like to be consumed spider? Yeah.

It was like you bought like a dehydrated tarantula. Yeah. And I was like, let me try that. It's fine. Yeah. What about you, Pabs? You got any of these things? The only thing I don't like, it's so weird.

I just don't like onions. Oh, I want a big onion. And I know that's childish to take your onions out. Pickled onion in particular The worst kind of onion I don't think it's that childish I mean listen if you go to a nice dinner No I'm eating it if I'm at a nice dinner I'm not

I now after what happened to me with those onions Like a month ago I will sit there and pick every last onion off ever If I ever encounter raw onions Ever again like that I will never put one in my mouth Wait what happened i just got like a re like my first real bout of heartburn oh right and i was like oh my god this is what everyone's been talking about i i never knew what heartburn is like now i understand why there's a whole fucking industry of medicine and shit to stop it this is killing me and it was because i ate raw onion and i i will i will like spit in the face

of the fanciest chef in the world get the fucking drowning in ketchup and get the onions out of there all right time for our interview we got uh jim norton back in the building uh who is happily married uh and a great interview with him recounting his days with Opie and Anthony, feuding with Howard Stern, kind of going through the transition to podcasting, and now YouTube. A really good conversation. Yeah. Pleasant. For a guy who, you know, anytime we've talked with him, it's always like, you know, fuck this and fuck that. I think we would like yell and we're fucking.

Bro, by the way, do you want to know something crazy? Do you know before he did us, he did out and about with his wife? So it looks like we just didn't take his wife on? Yeah. I found out about that. For those who don't know, Jim's wife is transgender. I guess she just went home after that interview. I would have loved to have her on. i would have loved to have her i would have loved to have nikki on i there was never positioned to be a proposition

to me as an option it was it was definitely not to me because i was like yeah because not only was it not i'll be honest i was like going into the interview i was like i'm very interested in this like yeah a guy marrying a transgender woman and he's being very open about it and he's like i i but i didn't want to be the guy who's just like so tell me about this tell me about that you know like uh but so i definitely would have said yes to her because it would have been easier to like let's talk about it all here you know but yeah now we definitely look like the fucking the bigots like we'll take jim send nikki home please well nikki would have been more than

welcome on this show had it even been told to us that she was in the building bro that's like that's like the chick coming up to you at the park yeah he's got profiles they're just like no i don't want her that's crazy well we did talk quite a bit about it it's a very interesting topic along with uh you know his whole career he's an absolute legend so let's get into it jim norton on kfc radio good man how are you this is great yeah that's all right no i like this a lot oh really we're ruining it actually it. It's okay. It's okay. I mean, you've been in Sirius for a long time. Man, almost 20. 20?

Almost 20. No shit. Yeah, I was in ONA before that. Then we got fired in 2002. When did ONA start? They started in 95. On Sirius? No, they were on regular radio.

Right, right, right. And then in 2000, I came in. They started in boston um and then i came in in 2000 and we got fired 2002 of regular radio and they went back to 2004 got it and and when when when that went to serious was it bigger on serious or was it bigger like the first go-round or the regular radio is massive i mean we were yeah so we were on afternoon drive. Do you remember what kind of numbers and shares you were doing on that?

I want to say we pulled a 20 share in Cleveland. I mean, massive, the show was. I mean, huge. And you guys were able to keep it clean enough? Yeah, but back then you could say this F and C. You could abbreviate better. Oh, yeah, yeah. I thought you meant the words.

No, no, no, no. You could abbreviate.. I thought you meant the words. No, no, no. You could abbreviate. And then Janet Jackson, the Super Bowl, it got much more conservative at the FCC. Oh, really? Fucking Janet ruined it for you guys. We were off the air when that happened anyway. That was a notable change in the industry then? Because afterwards

they cracked down and all the fines got... They didn't double them, they made them tenfold. So instead of $35,000 per offense, it was $350,000 per offense. That's private. No, it can't. Per syndicated station, yeah.

And an offense could be like a curse word or like nudity, like you had to go like really far. No, I mean, this was on the radio. So if you said fuck or anything like that, they could fire you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You better keep it clean, bro. That's disgusting. Has that changed at all since then?

Don't know. I know regular radio stinks. I mean, there's some funny guys there, but it's one of those things where they just, they didn't see satellite coming. Yeah. Just like satellite is not battling podcasting well. Yeah.

It's so funny when you get to be so big. I think radio was probably tough because it was like, radio is like television. It's like a thing that was like a part of culture. And I don't think anybody ever thought it could go away. It's like nothing is untouchable, man. No. The thing about radio that you have that you don't have on podcasts, that you don't have on satellite, is people stumbling onto you as they're turning.

There's a lot of people that just flip around and they would find you. Oh, what is this? And they would love you or hate you. So the accidental people stumbling onto you, radio is much better for it. I've talked about that before with the famous Stern line that people who hate me listen for 10, people who hate me listen for 5.

Whatever it was. I don't think that really exists anymore. No one listens to a podcast they hate right like there's so many options you just yeah why would you just listen to something you like yeah people yeah they are they do like we noticed i mean i do a youtube channel with my wife and we get the reactions we get um more positive than i would have thought i mean you know what i mean like it's it's better than i thought but the amount of people that come around and don't like it

and I'm like well why are you coming back and watching it there's something about watching something you don't like or that bothers you that you fucking hope

like whatever it is that draws people people like to be angry they like it it's a drug you think those are like old school Jim Norton fans

ONA fans or you think you're finding new people who are like all of it all of it they're all hating me so it doesn't matter

old school fans I've been there I feel you dude it's just like I don't know but I don't care I'm fine with it like

good for you like it's good that you're on YouTube though like that's fine like you gotta you gotta keep moving like yeah

like it's I'm sure it would be easy to just like stay on in front of a mic and just do radio and shit, but got to keep going. We just, I mean, literally, it's a month ago that we started, and it's just little snippets of life. It's very real to who we are. There's no messaging or shit. Are you guys filming each other?

Sorry to interrupt you. Oh, that's okay. We have someone shooting us. Someone's shooting you. But she's leaving at the end of February. She's going to Oh, that's okay. We were using, can we have someone shooting us? Someone shooting you. But she's leaving at the end of February. She's going to get a master's degree. But we actually have

doing vlog style and there's also different people we can use to shoot. Sure. And we just, you know, you edit it a certain way but we just kind of show

like moments in our life. We have one where we just go furniture shopping and people like it great but it's not a TLC show. It's just snippets of our life. Right, right. You know,

I think people like that there's something about it that feels genuine to people which is nice was she into content? like she wanted to do content? oh yeah she loves it she's a ham she doesn't want to do like acting or any of that stuff

but did she make her own content at all? only on Instagram now just like a normal person yeah I mean we knew that the comments were going to be weird it's more there's a lot of people who don't like us that say anything I mean, we knew that the comments were going to be weird. There's a lot of people who don't like us that say anything, but I still appreciate them too because the worst thing someone can do when you're doing something is ignore you. Being ignored is death.

You die on the vine like that. You wither. So I don't want everybody to hate us, but I mean, even if you do hate us, I appreciate you saying something. Right. Leave a comment in the chat, please. I hardly ever read them. People are like, how do you hate us? I appreciate you saying something. Right. Right. Leave a comment in the chat, please. I hardly ever read them. I don't.

People are like, how do you hate us? I'm like, really? Good. Yeah. Fuck them. I don't read it. That's a good way to be. It's not because I'm above it.

I just, I know what it is. Like, I don't, I'm not that interested in what people are saying. Like, you know what I mean? You check once in a while, but I'm not like, fuck, they don't like us. Who cares? Yeah. I did that. I made that change probably about a year ago where it was like where I was like, I've looked at him for 10 years. Right.

Time matters. Time matters. Because eventually in the beginning, you want them to like you. Then if they don't like you, you like spin zone it in your head. And then you come around thinking you're going to change somebody's opinions. And eventually you just go like, I don't know. Sometimes they love me. Something good happened.

Yeah. Or I said something they agree with, so they finally like me. don't know. Sometimes they love me. Something good happened. Or I said something they agree with, so they finally like me. But tomorrow I say something they disagree with, and it just goes around and around. As long as you stick around and watch. 100%. Or at least you're backfilling people when they leave or whatever it may be.

As long as the audience stays there, I don't care. It's a connection. Whether it's a good one or a bad one, because I'm trying to do something that you like. We want people to like it. Right, right. But if you're connected The worst thing is indifference And again there's people who troll

We're not Andy Kaufman We want people to like But I accept that people aren't going to But I would much rather have them actively watch And not like it than ignore it Because then there's no connection Then it's not doing anything It's not inspiring you

I never hate watch stuff I really don't care because then there's no connection. Then it's not doing anything. It's not inspiring you. People are fucking weird. I never hate watch stuff. I really don't care. I used to hate follow on Twitter for a while. And then I got rid of that too. That was probably like five, six, seven years ago I stopped doing that. And I was just like,

I don't know why I'm going to intentionally raise my blood pressure all the time. It doesn't make me happier. I don't do good stuff when I'm not happy. You're wasting time that you could be watching a show you like or reading tweets

of somebody you like. There's just no point. It's one of those things, you're right, where there's been times where people say things on Twitter and I want to just

fucking blast them and then I'm like, wait a minute, dummy, they're not talking to you. You're not following this person. I'm mad they said so. Who the fuck cares what they think about social issues? That's all.

I feel like an old person now of being like the old days and this and that. But Twitter used to be very fun. Twitter now, if you just cut it on, there's nothing happening aside from people quote tweeting things to dunk on it. That's what every tweet. No one has original tweets anymore. It's like when things would go viral and like hashtags go viral people add jokes to it yeah well like yeah that happens once a year now that happened that was a daily occurrence it is uh it used to be fun man and you know it was also like sometimes i gotta check myself and if you just read the hate comment out loud in like a voice that you would say it's like your buddy, you know, and it's like, oh, he's just joking.

A lot of it is just like busting balls. It's just like, hey, man, like, you know, you sounded like shit today. Not like, yo, you sounded like shit. You know, just like, oh, all right, whatever. A lot of them, me and my wife, you know, they, you know, we're two guys. And like a lot of it's legit funny. Like I'm not a fucking sensitive about it. Who am I to get upset about being made fun of?

I'm in no position after making a career for 30 years of saying barbaric. What am I going to get fucking butt hurt if some autist doesn't like me? Bro, you are a barbarian, man. You really are. I've said rotten things. I love it. It makes me laugh.

She's funny with it, too. She'll show me pictures or something, and you can't not appreciate something that is funny, even if it's shitty. Sometimes it's like, you got me, you got me. That's fucking good. And there are people who I look at, I'm like, nah, that guy is just being a piece of shit.

You kind of get a sense, like when somebody heckles you, you get a sense of, is this guy trying to be funny and help the show or does this guy hate me because he doesn't like what I said publicly or some other douchebag. But yeah, I mean it's whatever. I find it all a lie. Whenever there's a response,

whenever somebody reacts to what you say, there's two reasons. A, they need you to validate what they think so they can go, yeah! Or B, they want to use you to get high off anger. It's never like I want to analyze what you say, there's two reasons. A, they need you to validate what they think, so they can go, yeah! Or B, they want to use you to get high off anger. It's never like I want to analyze what you're saying. It's like I'm using you to feel good or feel bad. That's it. It's bloodsucking.

One of my favorite viral tweets is this one. They're not even replying to anybody. It's just said to nobody. And it's someone who says something like that clearly has a fetish for getting yelled at, and I will not participate in that kind of perversion. Oh, that's funny. Very funny.

It's so hard not to respond angry, though. I get it, because I like to. And sometimes you gotta. I'm like, sometimes, yeah, let it rip. Fucking punch down, dunk on somebody, say whatever you gotta say. Because then also, who am I to be above talking shit on the internet? I'll do like fuck it you want to say something say it i want to have you

want to send 25 tweets in a row go ahead whatever yeah i do it doesn't really matter yeah i never have i have no burner account so i really don't um because i i know how much i'll enjoy it there's so many things i want to say but i'm like if you fucking pussy If you don't have the balls to find a way to say it as you Then don't say it Like you're a coward Well you are a better man than like a lot of people on the internet But I just can't do it because I'll hate my own guts But I have thought of it

But I've never anonymously sent a nasty tweet I don't know if I've ever even thought of it I'm obsessed You just sit there thinking like I should do it I want to because I want to say something so bad but i'm like no to to people you know on my wife no both but usually people i don't know we we had a co-worker here uh he's been with us for 15 years now head of like he's basically like the head of production but this is like 15 years ago he was an intern

he was probably our one solo cameraman he had dropped out of college I think he was like 18 maybe whatever a couple years older he had a burner account he was talking shit to all of like this was back in Barcelona like five guys

and he was talking shit to like Dave and he called him and i don't think he knew what it meant right and he uh he was talking shit to a bunch of the bloggers but then a couple guys like he didn't he was nice to me so like how how crazy to be like i'm gonna start my i'm gonna have a a burner at work and like fuck with these guys but Not him, but him. When we talked to him, he got caught. How did he get caught? He tweeted from the wrong account. He made the mistake of insulting. This was commenting on blogs.

It wasn't social media. It was commenting with a handle on the blog. He made the mistake of insulting an insane person. He said Dante's music sucked. Dante tracked it down. they found out who the track like ip addresses and shit and then we tracked it to like like it's like the calls coming from inside the house it was like oh he tracked it to hanks at the time girlfriends he found it like because he found her facebook i think she went to my god and then like found out

like hank will sleep on her couch or whatever. I forget exactly the call that was involved. But I believe it was caught through his girlfriend. So what happened? Does he still work here? Oh, alright, cool. And even better than that was he told on himself with Dave. So the guys at work knew

and it was kind of like, this is fucked up but like I don't know and then they were out at a party right? No. So we we fucked with them all that day where I was like you're gonna get fired. Yeah. And so

I just played sad music through the office. I was like goodbye my lover and all this stuff and he was in his office crying and writing a apology email to Dave and I think at the end of the day we were like yo just fucking hell

just stop doing that I don't even know if he said that it's definitely a dickish move to do that but he was so like he was so young and like goofy and it was just like ah it's alright it's just Hank. Yeah.

And for months, I don't know if he thought we told Dave the boss at his birthday party and a few beers. He's like, by the way, sorry about that old Franny Lydon thing. That was his name. Franny Lydon. And Dave was like, what are you talking about? And he just told him. He just was like, we had never told Dave.

And he was just like, oh, when I was calling you slurs and shit, Dave was like, what the fuck are you talking about? And like Davis didn't acknowledge it. We never told him. It was just. So he just. But Dave didn't fire him. He didn't fire him.

He made him wear a shirt. Very funny punishment. He made him wear a shirt with his own face on it that said, I'm an internet troll. He wore it. Edward is a summer. He wore it every day for a month. No matter where he was Dave could text

at any moment and be like give me a picture see that's funny if he ever caught him with it if he ever caught him wearing it

yeah that's the way to do it the public humiliation of just going hey I was a dick he doesn't have to lose his career you know we got a great career

yeah hey you were a dick and now you feel like a dick and that's the end of it. We had a guy wear a dunce hat the other day. He spoiled something that we had filmed. He spoiled the results live

because it's not the first time he's had a live slip up and we put him in a classic pointy dunce cap and he had to look at the wall. This is funny. This is a good way to handle it. Yeah, there's ways to handle it

where you don't gut somebody's fucking career yeah you know yeah right wear that shirt stupid when you were at ona was there like uh um i mean it was just like what three four guys kind of like was there a hierarchy if you will was there like on the show yeah like like could you get like punished by anthony or opie for doing something like that ona were the bosses i mean obviously uh i was there the company technically could have fired me if i really fucked up but i was there at the this is the pleasure of opie and anthony like so they were kind of my bosses yeah um and you knew that they were in charge of it

But they gave us In a very free reign thing But it was just them We had producers and stuff like that But nobody could have really fired me Unless I really fucked up But Opie and Anthony The program directors or anything like that

Didn't have much to say Because of my contract But they were just killing in like whatever opening. Yeah, and that's the way you guys had such good ratings. It was like.

Yeah, this is on Sirius where we just, we first started on Sirius, we only had 11,000 people listening because we were on a pay tier. So we remember the first day

there was 11,000 people. It was poorly promoted. They were almost half embarrassed to have the show. October of 2004, then it just kind of grew and grew and we got on the regular platform. But it was a long, it took a long time

to get off that extra $2 a month pay tier. Yeah. And they weren't promoting it. And it was a fucking rough go for a while. Wait, what do you mean? Like, what's pay tier? Meaning you had to pay? You had to pay serious.

Right. You had to pay an extra $2 to get Opie and Anthony. Oh, fuck. So we weren't on the main platform. Why is that? They just, again, they didn't want to hear complaints. And I think that they wanted to kind of keep us. They wanted us there,

but they also didn't want to promote that we were there just because the type of jokes we did were fucking hideous. But then they ended up making, I mean, eventually you're fucking crushing for them too, right? Yeah, it went very well. We had a long run there. And then, you know, unfortunately, Anthony got fired in 2014. That little silly goose

tweeting. That Twitter gets you every time. Twitter and a fucking Twitter and alcohol. I was going to say you got a glass of whiskey and a phone is the most dangerous combo in the goddamn world. Can I ask what he tweeted? He was very mad. He was in

Times Square with a camera, and he took a photo of a black woman, and she kind of hit him or something. They had a big altercation, and so he tweeted some things that some would deem insensitive. I think the word animal went a bit in there. He was very angry, yeah. He was very, very angry,

and he had been, I believe, tipping a few back. I know that game. Yeah, I knew it was bad. When Sean Hannity called me on the phone, and he goes, what is he doing? I'm like, I know that game. Yeah. I knew it was bad when Sean Hannity called me on the phone and he goes, what is he doing? I'm like, I don't know. And Sean goes, he's got to take those down. And I mean, Ant and I are friends

but I don't tell people. And Sean said, give me his number. And Hannity actually got him, Anthony, to take those down in that moment. But yeah, he was just angry. But you know, the thing that everybody missed is like, hey, look, they weren't nice things that he said, but he had a gun on him

and he didn't pull it. Like he didn't respond violently. He just said a bunch of dumb shit on Twitter. I mean, he didn't punch the woman. He just said a bunch of dumb stuff. You know, people kind of overlooked the fact that yeah, he said some mean stuff, but he didn't behave terribly.

I would say though, the bar of he didn't pull a gun on her is a little bit... Let me say this, because he only said that because he had one, and he didn't... He wasn't truly in range. You're right, that wasn't... He didn't get his car out of the lot and run her over. You're right, that was a bit of a stretch on my part.

Fair enough. I'm biased because I love him. I did really go... He didn't hijack a plane! October 7th, he wasn't there! I mean, yeah, you're right. I really am. He wasn't the 20th hijacker. I can go on and on with things that he wasn't.

There's probably a more tempered way to look at it. Hey, he didn't strike her back. Nobody would have pulled the gun for that. You're right. Did you guys have a rivalry or or anything with stern they did um i think howard fucked up with them in the sense that they loved how this is before i got there and he he kind of like they he wasn't i don't think he didn't really embrace them because i think if he had just said hey these guys are really funny you should check these guys out something tells me that they would have just loved him

but it became like and maybe naturally it would have happened anyway but yeah they had a real rivalry with him and those guys Anthony did a funny Howard impression and those guys were pretty fearless when it came to it everybody else was scared and those guys were fucking monsters

and they didn't give a shit and he knew they didn't give a shit so we knew they didn't give a shit so we were on when we were on Sirius or no we were on WNEW he was on K-Rock and Opie and Anthony could not say the name Howard Stern or it would get dumped out of it went through

Mel who was in charge at the time that ONA could not say Howard's name on the air or it would get dumped what's the logic behind that? Like, we just don't want to rock the boat? He just didn't want to, no, he didn't want to deal with it. Howard, Howard. That's what I've been told.

Yeah. Wow. So there was that rivalry. I would have said it. You would have been hit that dump button in two seconds. Oh, they did. I remember when Anna Nicole Smith was big and her lawyer's name was Howard K. Stern,

and they couldn't even say that. It's true. Al Dukes was in the dump button. He's like, I don't know what to do. He's fucking... How could you see Al doing that? That's fucking funny. I mean, Al was in a rough spot.

He didn't want to get fucking... So those guys did get fired. We all got fired. I was with those guys. I didn't continue working. I was with them. And when we came on to Sirius, then it really, the gloves came off,

and it got... But then all of a sudden, we were all together at serious xm and then after that it was whatever so whether there was a period of time where you guys were cool or no no never really cool i never had a problem with howard because he didn't fuck with me and it was before i got there and in 2007 beth his wife had a show with steve sharippa and did that show on like PIX11 or whatever and they were very nice to me and she was very sweet so there was none of that weird I didn't get any weird vibes I don't know Howard but I've met him two or three times

and he's always been very nice I introduced myself to him once because he was there and I'm like hey I'm Jerry and he goes oh I know who you are and he goes hey man you were nice to my wife he was very cool so I was like I'm not going to be a dick to this guy who's been cool to me which is so easy

yeah and he didn't trash me if he would've trashed me I would've trashed him but he never did it is weird it's a weird position too though like to be the king of the castle

or whatever it is and have someone new come in where like the logic is like just accept them and embrace it it'll be so much better for everybody yeah but like internally you just don't want to do that no if you have any competitive bone in

your body and and you know especially you know to get to where howard got or anybody in a position of success like you know the game a little bit you see how how people can come and go quickly how people can fuck you over, and by that point, you're probably paranoid. How do these fucking people come and take over? Every time I read about it, I'm always like, why don't you just do that? I try to be as nice as I can and helpful as I can to everybody,

but I want to win still. Like Brady with the backup quarterback. It's not my job to train him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's one of those things. We're the same company, but we're not, you know. Yeah, it's not my job. There's only so many minutes in a day.

Yeah. I want most of the money. I find that there is enough. The advantage to the competition is that the disadvantage is a lot of funny guys out there. There's a lot of funny motherfuckers doing podcasts right now. It's a hard thing to get people to subscribe to Sirius when they can listen to a bunch of these fucking maniacs for free uh or watch their specials on youtube for free so that's the disadvantage is like it's harder to you know what i mean to stay but the advantage is there's more room for this room for everybody man there's fucking there's a lot of fans there's a lot of

people listening to shit people get tired of shit then they come back to it so right i've just kind of learned that people that open for me Are now gonna do arenas And I'll tap dance To sell tickets In a comedy club And I just accept that But I had good taste in people So it was funny

Like I got a good coaching tree I fucking will say this I had some funny people Along with me Like I I saw some really funny I mean

I never resented funny people Have you ever written a book Or anything like that? I've written two Yeah yeah Like chronicling everything? Yeah, I Hate Your Guts and the first one was Happy Endings. Okay, I do vaguely remember that now.

I feel like you're a good point of view to thank you for everything that has gone on for the last 30 years. I've gotten more weirdly less. People think, oh, he 30 years? I've gotten more, like, weirdly like, less. People think, oh, he straddles the fence. But it's because I don't buy into a lot of this fake bravery. And I think a lot of these people, not that you can't be conservative or liberal, but people who dig in and they don't see anything like that.

It's like, stop acting like you're fucking, you're really telling it like it is, dummy. You're just, you're not, you're upsetting the people across the street, but what you're really doing is pleasing the people in the same group as you. So stop acting like you're not telling it like it is dummy you're just you're not you're upsetting the people across the street but what you're really doing is pleasing the people in the same group as you so stop acting like you're not fucking doing this thing to get around stop it yeah you're all standing also this this uh who we were just talking to uh jake johnson maybe i think he's an actor so not quite the same as podcasting comedians but he was like somewhere along the line we all like had to become teachers and use our platform and like i'm not that i'm just a funny guy who's trying to make

movies and it's like certainly that for podcasting i'm the opposite of a teacher whereas i'm a dumb student we're like whoever tells me something 100 of the time i'll go oh i mean you got there is a point there like i see what you're saying. Yeah, that could make sense. And then someone else is like, well, yeah, you're right too. That does make sense. It's one of those things where they blame comedy for it. Like, you know what I mean?

We're not supposed to, my kids, and I say, first of all, I don't care. Second of all, you don't give me credit when your shitbag kid gets A's. Yeah. Where's my credit, shithead? Yeah. I don't give a fuck. I'm not raising the youth of America when they're good. I don't care about your fucking kids at all. I don't get a fucking... Raising the youth of America when they're good and raising them when they're bad.

I don't care about your fucking kids at all. I don't get credit. I won't accept responsibility. They're your loads. You deal with them. I wish you the best. You didn't pull out. Not me.

Hey, you know what I mean? That's how I look at it. I've never gotten a fucking ounce of credit where someone goes, hey, my kid's doing well in school because he listened to your show. That's a great call. So I don't want to fucking hear the blame. Do your job,

stupid. It's not my problem. Also, if your kid is accessing some of the comedy we're talking about, you're really doing a bad job. You're a bad parent for your kid. You know what? He'll probably be a great comic one day. Yeah, exactly. Did you catch this George Carlin AI thing?

Heard about it, but I don't watch anything. I really don't. I did hear about it, though. So, yeah, Will Sasso from Mad TV. He's great. That guy is brilliant, man. Their podcast is an interesting one. It's him and his buddy Chad. He's also a writer, I believe. And they have an AI producer

slash third mic. Apparently, it's an AI computer. I don't know what to call it. and he kind of like participates in the show and like the tagline is that the AI will kind of give them feedback and make the podcast better and better as time goes on

and apparently he this AI thing made the Carlin special and he made his own special last year where it was just like I don't know what he took from other comedians did you do the Tom Brady thing too? made the Carlin special. And he made his own special last year where it was just like, I don't know what he took from other comedians. Did you do the Tom Brady thing too?

Remember Tom Brady did Stand Up? Did they do that? Is that different? That I think is... It's ringing a bell. But I don't think that's this... That wasn't Will Sasa? Maybe, I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know. I shouldn't say one way or the other. But they debuted it on their show. It sounds like this AI thing is deciding it because they were reacting in real time to hearing it being like, holy shit, this is kind of fucking weird. The voice was

pretty good, but not perfect, which is weird. You would think that's the one thing they would nail, but his cadence and the material it was all just updated he's talking about mass shootings and shit that he would be talking about um i i watched like you know the first three minutes of it yeah hour and 10 minutes i'm not gonna watch something that i know is fake but it was interesting to like see that you know if you uh if you know someone's style cadence voice material you know uh i guess i guess that's what's gonna happen next i don't know it's just an interesting thought of uh that that could happen um do you worry about that at all you think about that at all you give a shit

about that no i don't care i mean if you they do an ai of me just make it twitch and blink less that'd be fucking nice maybe I'll get some more acting work. Maybe a couple inches taller. My AI won't suffer with erection difficulties. Tweedle my nipples, because I'm lost. Yeah, I'm sure I will, though. But there is a difference. Here's the reason

everyone wants to find out why computers can't do the problem with most stand up being computerized is most stand up draws emotional

is from emotional is from experiences where computers can only draw from the photos of experiences or from the

the the second hand retelling telling them an experience they don't have it like a computer will never or maybe not or from the secondhand telling of an experience. They don't have it. Like, a computer will never, or maybe not anytime soon,

be able to look. Like, let's say you were doing something really, like, stupid, and you look, for, like, just to look at you, and look back. There's an understanding you have through experience that I think computers don't have yet, so it's going to be hard to do genuine comedy. That's a great example, too, because, like, if I wrote a book and I told a story and in the book I say, I was so terrified I almost shit my pants. And that book or that AI reads that book.

Yeah. And, oh, he was scared. So I'm going to blah, blah, blah. Like, that's a feeling that's very you could write. You could understand that. But something subtle like that, like like that's such a nuanced thing that humans do that i don't even know if ai could pick up on that yet where it's like oh yeah no this guy super embarrassing and what they would and what ai would do is use another bad like another i was so

scared i was gonna go skydiving dude i was shitting my pants. I mean, it reminded me of, and then they would come up with some other crazy scuba diving. It would come up with some other, what they see as a linear example. There's really weird layers to thinking that, again, they're not there yet, and I don't know if they can get there because you have to live, even with awareness, you're not experiencing rejection from other computers.

You don't have body dysmorphia as a computer. So these things that make people funny, I think would be, you might be able to do observation stuff. Yeah. But just because there's not as much personal feeling in that. Right, the delivery, the feeling behind it. I don't know.

But I mean, that to me is what I see, the sticking point with that being. Yeah. I wanted to give a long, boring answer. Mission accomplished. No answer mission accomplished no no no my ai will get to the point i completely disagree no that that makes a lot of sense though it's just funny that i mean people like freak out about it with music and comedy yeah i i tend to lean towards like i'm sure they've said this about other technologies and other things in the past but sometimes something like it's like i don't know there's probably some shit bag company that'll be like can we just get ai to write the jokes they'll pay money for that and it's like fuck i don't know well they're doing

it now with these articles sports illustrated their parent company i got in trouble and i've read articles about myself and my wife it's so bizarre to read an ai article it's always about some author that doesn't exist from like India or some person that's not real. And they said that I've transitioned into my wife. So they didn't say Jim and Nikki. They said Jim Norton transitioned into Nikki Norton. They think that I've transitioned.

I understand I put on some weight. I do have blubbery tits. It's an honest mistake anybody with eyes could make. And I do look lesbian-ish, so I get it. But yeah, the AI has gotten it wrong. They don't say she's transgender. They say I've transitioned. So it's funny to read these articles.

They list facts, facts, but there's no personality at all, even in the writing. Even in the New York Times, there's some kind of a personality behindork times there's some kind of a personality behind it there's some kind of a a feeling of something and there's nothing with ai maybe they'll get there i don't know i i remember we're talking about that i referenced it a few times on the show but we i was arguing with a buddy who's a big science guy internet guy and all that stuff and i was like it's not like that good yet you know i'm not saying it'll never be anything but

like right now and he's no it's here and he had. I'm not saying it'll never be anything, but right now he's like, no, it's here. And he had it. He's like, to prove me wrong, quote, unquote, he had it write an article by me about the Boston Bruins, a team I like. And it was just very poorly written, but also incredibly factually inaccurate. Sure. It's like talking about their goalie who retired four years ago. But that's who they're hoping is going to have a good game tonight.

And I was like, that's not to say it won't be whenever. But there was actually a thing on the rundown today, the other one of our shows, where they were like, AI is doing this. And I said, until AI is going to fucking kill me, stop talking about it. I'm a little fake. It was literally Terminator. I don't fucking care. We've been here on Boston Dynamics for 10 years. Yeah. The dogs can paint now is the story. I was like, I don't fucking care i i was like we've been here on boston dynamics for 10 years yeah yeah the dogs can paint now was the story i don't fucking care let me know when they can fuck a german girl on film

i said there's like an article a few years ago where it was like there's an article where it was like if all the spiders on the planet decided to eat us they could do it in like a year within a year uh-huh and i was like well i don't fucking care because they're not gonna yeah and i was like that's how i feel about like like i don't know like when it does it does but until then i'm not gonna fucking worry about it no they couldn't i'd step on them there's not a spider alive i can't step on. I don't think that they could. I think that once we I'm going to check that out. We would just swap them. Like, I guess

there's just so many of them they would overrun us but I feel like once we like, I don't know, nuke a whole section of them I mean, literally, they would not. I mean, all you'd have to do is just like, you get a bunch of them, you roll a carpet towards them and it rolls over all of them and then you just fucking run all over the carpet and step just, like, you get a bunch of them, you roll a carpet towards them, and it rolls over all of them, and then you just fucking run all over the

carpet and step on them. Or just get a bunch of cups and put them Yeah, fuck spiders. Yeah, so spiders eat at least as much meat as 7 billion humans combined. It would take, uh, spiders could theoretically eat every human on Earth in one year. They could eat the amount of meat that humans are.

If we didn't fight back. If we were fighting back. You know what dicks we'd have to be to what happened to humans they just sat there and spiders ate them fucking assholes uh you mentioned your wife i feel like um when when that became public news um because you were you had been together for a little while i mean we got we had dated then we broke up we got back together february of 19 so uh we're been together for a little while? I mean, we had dated, then we broke up, and we got back together February of 19. So we were back together for five years. Yeah, and then so you only posted... Wow, 19 is only five years ago.

Isn't that crazy? I was about to say, so you went public a year later. It's like, oh, man, it's five years ago. Yeah. But I feel like the public nature of it kind of, I don't know, changed things a little bit. A lot of people were very into it. I feel like you... Some were. Well, yeah, some were. nature of it kind of uh i don't know change things a little bit people yeah we're very uh into it i feel like you somewhere everybody well yeah somewhere some some were happy just like

anything else though some people were happy is that or some people were not yeah uh was there a reason like you decided to we always wanted to the reason we didn't before that is uh she was taking her immigration was taking a while and i didn't want to talk about it on the air or publicly. Because A, fans wouldn't want to hear it for long. And B, I was so angry and so convinced that she wasn't going to get in and that my life was going to be over. That I couldn't make it funny on Norway. But she had like a minor pot thing. I was just convinced.

So I just couldn't picture life if she didn't get in. There was no plan B. So I'm like, I don't want to talk about it on the air because it's going to bore people. And every time we get a problem with immigration, I'm going to go fucking ballistic. It's not going to help. It's not going to help. Fuck Homeland Security.

Good stuff, Jim. You know what I mean? So she got in. She got a green card. And I like being married. I wanted to make sure I liked it. I didn't want to fucking deal with this in front of my audience and then all of a sudden realize I hate being married after six months.

Right, right. Let's talk a big game. It took two years. It's everything everybody said it was. It's the complaining, but I love it. But that was why I didn't talk about it. There was no other reason. I didn't care.

People knew that I was with Dickie. It wasn't about that. Would you have gone to Norway? Oh, fuck, man. That's a good question. How much do you love your marriage? What I was scared about is that if she got refused for real and over a minor pot charge,

that I would have hated my own country so much. I never would have forgiven the U.S. That's actually not a bad way to... The rage I would have felt my own country so much. I never would have forgiven the U.S. That's actually not a bad way to... The rage I would have felt for the U.S. It's amazing the anger you feel. With immigration, it's fucking crazy because it's a big topic in the country, and I see it from both sides.

Part of me is like, fuck you, do it legally. It took me five years. Then another part of me is like, I'm really blessed. I had money for a good lawyer. You would have lost that fight, like, yeah. What would I have done? Right. So, I get the idea to jump the fence, too.

Like, I used to, she stayed in Canada for like two years. I would drive up every weekend and see her. And then when I would come back, I would always fantasize about having her in the trunk. I'm like, she'd be here now if I just did that, which of course they would have seen it because they have that infrared. But I understand the urge. Like, you know what I mean? That's right. I fantasize about my wife in the trunk. Yeah.

Exactly. I'll tell you what, listen to Eminem. Listen. If somehow you did pull it off, ooh, baby, that's romance. It is. Sponsor your wife across the border, you would be fucking that night, man. You would be, but then all of a sudden you have to, then all of a sudden you gotta like get married and

there's no way, you have to sneak her back out to come back in with the visa. It's a whole operation. It's a fucking operation. The worst part about smuggling your wife into America is you got to smuggle her back out. You got to smuggle her out when they actually say yes, which they did. So, you know, but it's fine. It's better than I thought it would be. Be a married woman.

I don't mind it. Like I'm 50 fucking five years old. Like I know I said 50 fucking five. Like I'm trying to be cool. I'm a cool uncle. I still swear. No, I know. Hey hey guys i like fucking tits idiot but i i uh i'm old man and i'm like fine with it i've been single i was single for many many many years so i'm like this is i don't want to die alone we're not gonna have kids the uh the um notes for this interview i have you know things to promote

for you and stuff like that and one was your youtube show with nikki and it said this is surprisingly happy marriage i wrote that you wrote that because it isn't surprisingly like people expect like i don't know what they expect when they see the channel but it's like it's not preachy it's not like we're here to teach you it's this is little snippets of our life so like us or hate our fucking guts based on us as people like she's transgender okay i get that there's something there where people want to see that and what is this fine but you get over that very quickly because it's not the topic it comes up when it's natural but it's not the thing of lesson teaching or scolding everybody stop fucking scolding each other you're losing people nobody wants to be scolded that's probably the best way

to do you know in a weird backwards way it probably is exceptionally educational and it's the fact that it's like it's just people man. If you want to hate me, I'll give you a fucking reason. We're past whatever it is that your heels are dug into. You'll find something about me. Sure. Think our jokes suck. Think we suck. That's fine.

It's like you just said, though, about it's everything people said marriage was. So I could see someone being like, I'm going to tune into that channel. It's a guy married to a transgender. What's it going to look like? It's like she's probably yelling at him at Target because he got the wrong fucking thing for the wrong aisle i got it oh that her fucking complaining about getting furniture it really is and people are like oh they're just performing we're really not like this is this is exactly how we are as people she's my best friend it's like vos and bonnie like you know i mean like they have that dynamic we have a very similar

dynamic it's just it's it's our communication it's how we we talk um so yeah i don't want to put on a show there's no there's no moral lesson like you're not going to learn a fucking thing um other than you'll like us or you won't like that's it that's what you can ask i think i feel like anybody's read the books or or listen to your comedy or anything knows that you you've always been like open and kind of weird with sex. Was that, were you looking, uh, were you looking to marry a woman and just happen to find a transgender?

Like, Oh, cut that out. I want people to know. Oh no, we don't get to say, you know, it's funny,

man. I never, I could, I date, I never really long-term date anybody transgender. I had hooked up many times and there were some girls I fell in love with, but it just didn't go. But I kind of thought, nah, this is who I am.

This is who I want to be with. This is the direction I want the rest of my life to go in. Because you met her, or you're saying, before you even met her, this is who I was? I think before I met her, I was inclined. Interesting. Because I've been into trans girls since 83. Like, the first time I saw porn, you know, no internet.

It was just you watched a fucking videotape with your friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they all went, that's disgusting. And I was like, yeah. Yeah. I was like, ah. You're a pioneer, brother. You know?

I was going to say, dude, it's on, like, the front page of porn. It's not one tape. It's yes everywhere. And it's like, oh, okay. You start doing the math. It's like, technically, it's more tits per dick, so it's actually straight porn when you think about it. Yeah, but you were in 83. It was not like that.

Oh, 83 is when I, again, Selka was the first one I saw, or 84. I was 15 years old watching with friends and looking at magazines. But then I started to go, well, that's not the only thing I like. I like vaginas. That's what people are like, you're gay. If I was gay, I'd tell you. I'm not afraid to say those words.

I'm 55. I'm not. 50 fucking fuckers. I believe. As I said it, I thought of what a fucking asshole I was 10 minutes ago. 50 fucking five, young bucko. What am I, on the lawn yelling at kids?

Fucking dickhead. I keep saying I'm 55, but I say that to myself a lot, like, stop thinking about this. You're old, man. It is what it is. It's okay. But yeah, when I met Nikki, I was like, oh, because we talked for

a while before I actually met her. We talked online. She emailed me on fucking Facebook because she liked what I said about trans girls. Really? And she did webcam stuff. What did you say about them? I like fucking them? Yeah, but I was, I mean, that kind of went without saying.

You know, all of a sudden, make him pretend I'm a top. But, no, I've pretend I'm a top. I've gotten a lot of messages, a lot from trans girls, because they're like, I like when you talk about it. At least you don't deny that you like us. That's got to be crushing for a lot of people who keep you a secret. It's like, I love you. I'm so turned on we're having sex it's amazing yeah uh but we're gonna keep it like in a hotel room quiet because whatever reason it's

like that really after a while probably it wears on you i'm sure look we all have private there's a there's a line to draw like everyone's got privacy like i don't care if you just you have your wife and you put it in only for procreation there's something you like sexually that you'd be embarrassed if your mom or dad knew like yeah you don't have to out yourself on all everything you like sexually or whether you are top or a bottom whether you like beating pussy you know all that stuff's private but to deny that you like a group like you I mean if you're a guy who likes to date black women but you're like I can't let anybody know well you're a fucking coward yeah like why you don't have to talk about what you do in bed,

but why would you deny that you like this group of people? Like, there's something cowardly about it, and I feel very bad for trans women, or trans men too, I guess, that people don't just come out and go, yeah, this is who I date. What do we do in bed? None of your business, but this is who we date.

Me, I say what we do in bed because nobody cares. It's just, you know, whatever I'm, you know. No one wants to see me fucking nude people like what you guys do it only no honestly that was gonna be a question i know i got too embarrassed justifiably like i am what's your number though what if i told you tomorrow you could make 300 300 dollars no i i just couldn't. I think the reaction that I saw on the internet was one of good, bad, but it was a reaction. People were like, whoa. It was, yeah.

And you know, it's funny. We knew people would hate it, and I don't give a shit. Because again, I've been, with Opie and Anthony, I remember getting bashed for 9-11 jokes right after 9-11. So I've been getting shit on the internet for 24 years, 23 years. You get really immune to it. Totally. And I've met a lot of those people. I've met a lot of people, and I know who they are as trolls,

and they don't know I know who they are. It's really bizarre. Like people in the industry? It shows. It shows. They come, and they're like, hey, I'm a big fan. And it's like, there's been a few. I was like, yeah, I know who that guy is. I don care we're at events ona events a couple of them come in studio like

and they're nice when you meet them and you know they're they're at yeah oh being an anti-fan one two three and like they're just uh but most of them are fucking just talking shit and it's like a lot of times on those things they're just entertaining each other the way we said mean shit to entertain sure yeah but do you get mad though if it's if they direct it at her no i mean uh she's she gets less annoyed than i do because there's a difference between guys saying shit about uh you know oh she's a man like there's a difference between guys saying that when i think it's coming from a place of like hey buddy you should love this country and it's not just southerners but you know i mean like when it comes from that place, these fucking fake patriots.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Motherfucker. You're the dick. You're the guy who fucking talks a lot of shit, and then you just slowly grab your dick when you're looking at it online. Or you're fucking, you're based in a, hey, be religious, that's great. But if you have a deep religious conviction,

and you're like, that's not scientific what you're doing, and it's like, really? The guy who believes in the man who died on the cross and then moved the big rock? All of a sudden, science is the issue? You know what I mean? You're allowed to feel that way, but come on.

I don't give a fuck. I don't care if people accept it. Don't. Don't. I don't care if you do or not. It doesn't affect you. I just think other people who like trans girls, date them and be open

if I have any message, stop fucking being afraid of what people are going to say, stop worrying about your family anybody in your life who doesn't like it or who's uncomfortable with it, fuck them boot them out of your life and that's the end of it I know it's easier said than done when you have kids I have a good family, my family was very accepting

so I know that's hard for some people but at one point, you just got to be with who you want to be with. I think you said something. I sent you a congratulations message. I think you said something like, I'm happier than I've ever been. Or something that was just very genuinely like, she must have been looking at my phone.

I'm happier than I've been at times. When I met Sabbath, I was happier than I've ever been. When my wife wants to go to Scully and Scully, it borders between happiness and suicide. I'm happier than I've ever been at times.

Well said, Jimmy. Well said. But it is nice when you're friends. You know what I mean? We knew people. It's funny how there's a lot of people who haven't said anything, which, again, they're not obligated to, but it's like to me or anything, but they'll ask questions privately.

Talking about friends, coworkers, things that you think would be. I guess it's different for people, but I've had guys ask me sexual questions. A friend of mine had a few drinks, and he wants to know about the penis and stuff. But but he wasn't being rude he just didn't know and like yeah there's a curiosity and an inquisitive you know i get it i i i said before i i think like it's it's become either like it's it's such a pejorative now to be like i'm just ignorant like i'm. I feel like you're ignorant. Yes, I am.

You're right. I don't know how it goes. I fully admit I'm ignorant. I'm trying to figure it out. But there's something you would never just be like, so tell me that you fuck your wife. Yeah, that's a good point. I'd want to say it to you. A lot.

My dad. That was just a sad one. See, as I'm older, I start to regret those things when i say them but i will say it again no i don't want to right out you immediately fuck take great joy at that do you have one or or numerous jokes or things that you like you still regret to this day that still kind of like kick around not really, no, because the goalposts keep moving as to what's offensive. It's almost like,

you ever see a map of the earth where they're showing daylight and dark and it's shifting? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it's like when people are upset. What was once a sacred cow is now perfectly safe, and what was once perfectly safe

is now a sacred... So I don't believe it it's the same false horse shit it was when they went after Lenny Bruce so I don't buy any of it so no I don't regret my jokes because I just don't believe the anger fuck these people right it'll be gone you know

poo scald poo hoo hoo shut up fucking baby bullshit stand outside the movie theater and yell at the actor if he comes out. Right, right, right. Or be mad. Netflix can't do enough of fucking documentaries about guys that chop women's tits off. How is that not a problem?

How is fucking documentary after documentary about serial rapist killer not a problem? But if I do a midget joke, oh, you're firing me. Yeah. It's insane. It's not real. I've never understood the appeal of that. I think it is more women who do than men, so it's probably more normal. But, like, every day you turn on Netflix, here's a new one.

Like, the murder diaries. And so, yeah. I don't get to be a captive, like, in a hole for five years, torturing her and ripping her hair out one by one while they poked her eyes with fucking needles. Like, okay. Yeah, I'll watch that and that's why I don't believe any of

this fake anger that this fake country feels because the only reason Netflix makes those or buys them is because a lot of people watch them so this whole group of people is watching that but you're upset about this cultural slip up just go fuck you stop trying to explain it to people go know

the context fuck you you're a liar I david fincher said recently i don't know if he said it recently i read it recently that he was asked about his career and he was just like i based my career on one simple idea everybody's a pervert and he's like every step every movie i ever made everything i've ever done all i think everyone's a fucking pervert. Is there anything better? Like, I don't care. What, them being a pervert? No, when somebody who's really anti-gay, when they get fucking caught with their fucking mouth on the cookie jar.

I feel like we haven't had one of those in a while. No, but it's the best. It was always a congressman. Always some guy trolling for dick in a men's room. Or a massage therapist who's like, wait, you don't think gays should be married? You've had my dick in your mouth for years. I think it almost is like, I think there was an era where you thought you could get away with it. Because it's like, what is this person going to run to the newspapers?

But now once it's like that person has a Twitter account or Instagram account, they must, I mean, they probably just kill them and dump them. Because at this point, how do you keep it a secret? How do you keep it a secret? And you're fucking somebody and you're trying to keep it a secret. You have to kill them. I don't like people being out at ease. I would never out somebody's private life for what they do.

It's not my place and it's disgusting. It's a disgusting quality. The only time I like it is when people are like legislating to make someone, yeah, like if you're actively

trying to make someone not have the same life you have, fuck you. I'll post the tape myself. Saying what you're saying is one thing and no,

it's private, but it's like when you're trying to actually make it a law, then fuck you. Did you see that guy, remember, earlier this year? His big part of was uh to decriminalize sex work so he made a sex

tape you know that guy yes he he like he i think he had a wife or girlfriend or he hired a porn star whatever it was and they did like a very it was almost too uh clean for my liking like they sit in the beginning and they're like, I am of sound mind and body and I choose to engage in sexual activity with this man. What a sexy vibe. Right, right.

And he repeats it back and then they lay down and she consents and they start having sex. I'm like, when are you going to start hitting this girl? But he was like, I mean, obviously it's not going to win anything, but it was just like, I'm about it. I don't just talk about like, I'm about it.

I don't just talk about it. I'm about it. What a good racket that is, though. Like, I'm doing this for my campaign. I don't, by the way, I don't need on-camera consent. I assume they're consenting because they signed a contract or they're there. Like, do it, but you don't need to put it on camera. When it's on camera, I'm like, well, wait a minute. The other times, is it not?

Because now I feel weird about everything I've been watching. Yeah, what do you... We understand. It's porn. Yeah, like if every movie started with, by the way, we're all just pretending. Yes. By the way,

do you really want to see James Caan at the end of The Godfather? I wanted you to know I'm alive. Yeah, right. I'm not actually dead. Yeah. It's stupid. And not everyone...

I go back and forth. It's bad to say, not everyone's a fucking idiot. A lot of people... A lot of people are fucking people, but I don't take responsibility for them. I hate when I'll say something and somebody will go, hey, well, you see it. I'm like, no, I don't give myself more credit. And if they don't see it, too bad.

Like, I don't think for them. It's not my job to think for people. I fucking can't stand it. Platform, what platform just stinks? That's the worst part. Yeah, platform content. That's the worst part about Platform content. That's the worst part about the vastness of the internet is like

you get all the idiots. You know what I mean? It's like you make a joke and it goes over everybody except for like 10% of their heads. It's like, well, fuck. I wish 90% went away. It's the price we pay though. The price we pay is hypersensitivity and fake emotions.

However, if I want to see kiss doing Detroit rock city in 1977, I can go watch it. You know what? I want to see a girl piss in a glass. That's there too. So it's like, maybe they've happened to the same thing.

Oh, glorious. But there's a pay. There's a trade off for all the great stuff we get. You have to hear everybody's fucking boring opinions. It is what it is, but there's just so-off. For all the great stuff we get, you have to hear everybody's fucking boring opinions. It is what it is. But there's just so many great things to fucking watch. I literally just go on YouTube.

It's the most amazing thing in history. I watch fucking people climbing. Freak these solo free climbers. These maniacs that climb buildings. I get vertigo watching the street. I can't even imagine if I was fucking doing it. Do you ever watch it? Because they have the helmet cams.

It's insane. I mentioned him on imagine if I was fucking doing it. Do you ever watch it? Because they have the helmet cams. Yeah. It's insane. Yeah. And I mentioned him on Rogan, too, this guy, Alain Robert. Go watch this guy. He's like French. He's a little svelte guy, and he's like the godfather of all this shit. He's 60. Yeah, the free climbing, right?

Yeah. Yeah. And that motherfucker is insane. He's been climbing. He's probably climbed 150 or 200 buildings. Really terrifying. I love watching it. But again, that's is insane. He's been climbing. He's probably climbed 150 or 200 buildings. Really terrifying. I love watching it. But again, that's the internet.

There's great stuff there too. Those guys are the ultimate freaks in my mind. Like that is just a crazy thing. And six, I'm afraid of heights. It's funny. I'm not afraid to not wear a condom in Rio. I should have been, but I wasn't. Mr. Vegas, come help me yeah you know I fucking

I show up to get my uniform dirty my son is six and he was afraid of to take his first flight he got scared and we went to there's also this like rock climbing place late before the flight or during it before okay uh and every time we tried to like talk him down i was like come on like what's there to be afraid of and and all of a sudden

he turned into like an adult he goes what's to be afraid of i'm all the way up there in the sky what if i fall out of it i was like it, it was the first time, you know, and he was just logically being like, because I could fucking fall and die, man. That's why. If he knew how to say fuck, he would have said it right then and there. He's obviously smart, though, because that's a really smart progression to make where you're not seeing the inside of the plane. You're going, no, that's up there. Right. And here's what the results can be

before you do it kind of dark to be honest my daughter was like I don't know let's go put me here put me there I just follow my parents it's the end of the world dad I live but I will die no kids for you and Nikki in the future never

I never wanted kids I have zero paternal instincts. Love my nephews. Never wanted to do it. You know, I dated women who wanted to have babies and I'm like, well, I'm wasting your time. So I would tell them, I don't want kids, man. I can't do it. I'm not going to change my mind.

Did you ever get snipped? No. So again, talk about it, be about it. Why don't you get snipped? Well's that? Did you ever get snipped? No. So, again, talk about it. Be about it. Why don't you get snipped? Well, I don't have to now. I really, I fucking, I really, I cheated the system. I don't have to worry at all.

I don't want, she's talked about adopting. I'm like, awesome. When I die, adopt. I don't want to raise a kid. I just don't. I have nothing against it. It's just not for me. It's good to know it and admit it and just be like, same way you might not be a dog person or a cat person.

I'm not a kid person. I'm not going to be a shitty parent because I do like children. They're adorable. I fucking love a little kid. But it's just I don't have that instinct where you'd want to raise a child and bring it on the plane. I just don't want to do it. But knowing that, I feel like I'm not selfish because I didn't do it because people said I should do it.

Like, I know what I want, and I'm not going to lie to somebody. And then be, like you said, a shitty dad. I'd be miserable and resent the kid. I don't want to resent my fucking life. Right, right, right, totally. I've worked too hard to have no boss. And almost, like, I'm serious, but I mean, like, I've worked very hard to have no boss and almost like i'm serious but i mean like i've worked very hard to be able to do whatever your life what you want to live yeah yeah

yeah and you you're still doing uh how's your other husband sam oh my fucking my my real your real spouse my bf uh bff and that do not stand for friend um he's good man he man. He's an easy guy to do a show with because he's funny and he's a little nasty prick when he wants to be. He's very driven. He works. It's an easy show to do. We have one year left on the deal. Match made in heaven. One year left? Yeah, one year left.

I don't know what we'll do. I don't know. It depends what the money is. If they come in with a low ball like I expect them to, no. But I won't even be bitter if they do. But you would like to continue? If it's a possibility, if it feels right. Because the way you just said that, you know,

some people say our contract's up next year, but you said one year left. Like, that felt a little like... I just kind of see what the writing on the wall may be, and I'm okay with it. It's not that I want to leave, but I'm fine doing other stuff too. I've done this. It'll be 20 years.

It's a long time. How long was your last contract? Three years. I always go for two, three years if you can, because I like to have... She wasn't in the country yet either, so I wanted to have security for lawyers and all that stuff. But now that she's here, she's been hooking.

It's just so much easy um you know it's just but i don't have much pressure listen getting into youtube is is the way too so it's like i don't know serious is here good if it's not i got this other thing yeah you can always do the road you can always do you know whatever else so i don't see youtube being financially feasible we've pulled in about $250 so far. But you've never guessed it actually. Until it is though,

until all of a sudden something pops and you're getting a fucking show on TLC because people are interested or some shit. You never know. I don't know.

You know what? If we were going to do a show, we would do a show, but it would have to be something funny and again, it couldn't be too cheesy. Boop, dee-doop-doop doop doop doop doop doop doop

you got fucking shit music when the husband's looking i don't know i just don't want to do that and i i you know it would have to be something that we both felt good about because you should mimic or mock that you should you know but i mean it might not come off as ironic they might get that we're they might people would watch and go, see, they are like that. I mean, we are just kind of doing our thing. It is different than reality shows because again, sometimes it's just a little line of our life and that's it.

It's like taking... Like you ever go to edit a fucking YouTube video, you can only drag it. You can't cut the middle. That's kind of what this is like. It's like, chop the beginning, chop the end, and that's it. What you get is the middle.'s kind of what this is like it's like chop the beginning chop the end and that's it what you get is the middle

that's I like that that's a you know very philosophical in a way but I mean we just want it to be a little linear thing

with you know sometimes there's a conclusion to whatever we're talking about but we don't want it to be too polished because that's not fun and I'm not qualified to do that

I'm just not know your limitations man yeah know what you're good at know what you're not good at. I'm not great at creating storylines or making deep love. You are great at plenty of other shit, though. Thank you. Plenty of my own

flaws. I'm great at pointing out the empty seats in a room when I'm on stage. I'm great at making up excuses as to what else is happening in town. We've been there, man. I'm great at congratulating friends. March what else is happening in town. We've been there, man. I'm great at congratulating friends. March Madness, man. March Madness is here. I think there's a fair

down the block. I saw Ferris Wheel. I didn't know there was a Ferris Wheel in town. We would have sold out the theater, but it wasn't for that. I'm great at feigning joy when my friends do two beacon shows. I'm happy for you! Oh, you added a third, did you? I'm so happy for you.

Good news. I do, yes. Jersey is sold out. Connecticut is selling well. I got a bunch of California. I'm going everywhere this year, which is great. I'm finally back out. I need a new tour photo because I'm fatter than I have been in a long time. Really? I was going to say, I think you lookatter than I have been in a long time. Really?

I was going to say, I think you look like you've looked for the last 10 years. You're a good person. Thank you. I don't think you've aged. You probably looked like that when you were 22, but you haven't looked. I put weight on. I was very agey with my appearance for a long time. Too skinny.

I see pictures of me and her from 2017, 2018, the first time we did. And I look sickly. It's not a long time. Too skinny. I see pictures of me and her from like 2017, 2018. The first time we did. And I look like sickly. It's not a good look. So I need to lose more weight than I've lost. She likes a little meat on the bone? She likes me like this. I'm like,

you fucking chubby chaser. I'm like, you want to have a stroke so you get the apartment. I don't know what you're doing. Ugh! Shut down so she can feed me

fucking pudding. Then you'd be on TLC? I would be, yeah. While she's fucking a Dominican guy in the office. My 600-pound life. Jimmy's gotten huge. Transgender woman is fucking a Dominican in the office. Yeah, my fat, chinless husband.

Yeah, no, she doesn't care. She's very content with the way I am. I want to lose it. I do. I have lost some, I think, because I've been hitting the gym a little bit, but I still got more to go. I'm still grossed out by my appearance. The way I

phrase it is I'm shaped like a baggie with a goldfish in it, which is a very unsexy... But you understand the crinkle of that bag. The crinkle of my tits. It's gross sound. That's very apropos. It fits. It's always sound. Oh, man. That's very apropos. Yeah, it fits.

All right, dude. Well, it's always a pleasure. Thanks so much. This is so much fun, man. You guys are great. So you got the series show. We got the YouTube. We got tickets on the road.

A couple books to buy. You do it all, baby. Nicky and Jim NYC on YouTube if you want to see it or JimNorton.com for tour tickets. I'm coming everywhere. By the way, that was Segura's best tour name tour tickets I'm coming everywhere So By the way that was Segura's I don't know

Best tour name ever I'm coming everywhere Yeah And you really did it too I mean And then I came everywhere It was especially

It's so Such a great name And me It's like now you know I'm just the worst at naming That's why I can't have a kid I'll fuck it up I don't know how to name it

You know Hey this is my son Future Maker oh you fucking jizz bag Jim I'm a jizz bag Jim jizz bag Jim that's his nickname

when he hits a home run jizz bag Jim high five boy thank you guys thank you man much Jim