KFC Radio - Quickie: Alone Together

Episode Date: July 23, 2018

KFC & Feits recap the first ever Alone Together.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's KFC Radio Monday Quickie. Sorry we're a little bit late. We were out, uh, the original idea was to do a podcast at Alone Together on Thursday night, our happy hour. And then we got there and realized that happy hours are loud, and the music was playing, and the bar was like, we can like turn the music off and set you guys up. And I was like, I'm not going to fucking ruin the entire bar's happy hour so we can do a 10-minute podcast. So we'll pass.

And then we were like, all right, let's get out of here. And we'll go back to the office and we'll record it. And we got drunk. And then it was like. I was going to say, I thought you guys just didn't want to do it. You were like, ah, let's figure something else out for Monday. Kevin actually had the great thing. He's like, we don't even know if Monday's coming.

I said, we might be dead by Monday. That was the most dramatic thing I've ever said because it was like after we decided to not do the studio, the office, John was like, all right, well, my flight gets back at like 530 on Sunday. We can Skype in. We can meet. We can do this or that. I was like, we might be dead, John. Let's not even worry about this. Let's literally don't let Monday ruin your Sunday.

Dude, and you know what? Actually, I probably could have just done it yesterday because I got to the airport at 10 a.m. And my flight was at 6 p.m. But I just needed to get the fuck out of there. Wow. That's how you know you had a good bachelor party. Like I was.

Or a bad bachelor party. No, it was great. But I just knew I needed to To get out I needed to be home Because otherwise That's when your Sunday Becomes a fun day

I just needed to Remove myself from the situation Yeah I'm like this I need to go Taylor Swift that shit I wish I was excluded From this narrative

Like get me I want to be excluded From Montreal Sundays We will break down Johnny's bachelor party On the full episode tomorrow Also featuring The one and only

The elusive Artie Lang. I've been chasing Artie Lang for the better part of three years now. He's like a greased pig. I'm just always slipping through my fingers. Literally, at this point, a greased pig. Artie's not looking. Looking so sharp. Incredible interview.

It was awesome. I always get scared to hype things up too much because it disappoints. This one is not good. This is a fucking awesome interview. Guaranteed banger. I would put it up there. If you wanted to tell me that was the best interview we ever did, I wouldn't argue against it. It was that good, that insightful.

There's something to people who are that honest. When you were just like, I'm addicted to heroin. That is so staggering. There's like one person in the world I've ever come across that would ever, you know, people don't even like to admit to like how much they drink a little too much or something. This guy's like, I fucking love heroin. And he's brutally honest about how it ruined things. And I mean, he is.

And yet at the same time, despite it all, he's still like outrageously funny, just like flips a switch and the comedy starts rolling. So full length interview with him tomorrow. I wanted to ask him about that, too, because he was actually different because I never liked Stern as a kid. Because I thought everyone was too blunt. And I just like shock jock type. Yeah, to me, it didn't make any it didn't make sense to me where I would just be people aren't like this in the real world. You don't that you're not talking like people talk.

Yeah, but already. But he wasn't even like yesterday. He like he. You're not talking like people talk. But he wasn't, even yesterday. He was very nice and personable. So when you're saying stuff to when they would have strippers on the city, you're just being a dick sometimes. I would be like, why are you...

And it's mostly Howard, I remember. I don't really remember because I've watched very little Howard Stern. Most Howard Stern I've ever watched has been on a porn website. That's like the most Howard I've watched very little Howard Stern. Most Howard Stern I've ever watched has been on a porn website. That's like the most Howard I've consumed. The most Howard exposure I got was on the E! channel, like before Wild On, back before porn, when it was like, yeah, you might catch a blurt out nipple because that was my porn. But yeah, I know what you mean. That's when you're on camera and you're probably hamming it up or you're – we do that here.

You get in a fight with Dave or – Yeah, but again, I still think – and this was kind of my biggest thing with the Dave stuff, with Dave and Rio, where it was – it's like you're just being me. Right, right. I always thought that a lot of the – again, I've heard very little, so this is a very biased, small sample size. But the videos I've seen are probably the ones that went viral because it was me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's coming from a place of not a lot of knowledge. But I just always felt like that's not how people talk.

Right. And then he was awesome. Yeah. I was nervous going into the interview because I was like, is he going to be here just being a fucking dick? Right. And then you have to like kind of ease your guess, but you got to stand up and be like, come on, you're just being a dick. No, none of that. He was really a very gracious guy.

Yeah, he really was. So look forward to that tomorrow. It's going to be a big-time episode. Today we're recapping Alone Together, which was our happy hour on Thursday night. So it's our new series of excuses to drink is what I'm going to call it. That's what we should really just call these, like excuse to drink volume three. Because the idea was everyone go see this movie alone because that's another one of our initiatives.

And we were going to do, like I said, do the podcast and then this and that. And then really what we realized is that we just got together with a bunch of people from who listen to our podcast who like to hang out and drink. And we chit-chatted here and then this and that. And then really what we realized is that we just got together with a bunch of people from who listen to our podcast who like to hang out and drink. And we chit-chatted here and there about the movie, but not really. A lot of people didn't go see the movie. No, a lot of people. I was like, so did you watch the movie?

And they were like, oh, I don't care. I was actually just asking you because I thought that was the gimmick. We can just drink. Yeah. There was one girl who was like, she was kind of standing there. There was. You know what? There was one girl.

And we're probably going to steal this shirt. That shirt, she had a Jurassic Park shirt on. I didn't think I saw this. Oh, yeah. She had a Jurassic Park shirt on, like the original cover, and it just said Clever Girl. Oh, that is great. I was like, well, I'm probably going to steal that shirt. That's very good.

She was standing in one of those bar circles. You know when the circle breaks off and all of a sudden you find yourself in a little powwow. And I'm talking and we're all talking. That kept happening to us. I know. John said, John goes, we need to tether. We need a tethering system. I've been separated for far too long. Me and John were working the room separately.

It was very uncomfortable. I was like, where's John? People actually came up to me and they said, they were like, it's very clear that you do have terrible social anxiety. Somebody did say they were like, I tried to go over and talk to John. His face was just buried in his phone. And he was not looking to talk. It was. And it's true, but also it's very clear that you have social anxiety.

I had multiple people come up to say that. But I wasn't being – there was – for the first half hour we were there, maybe 15, 20 minutes, I was – I was – because I lost you right away. I attached to Will. I attached to our intro. I was like, you got to help me, man. You know when they – like when you're like rescuing someone and they force the person who's rescuing to drown? Yes. They're flailing around like, poor Will was drowning because of John.

Just sitting there in the corner just so nervous. Then I have two drinks. You're so weird. I know. We are the most technically outgoing people in the world based on what we do. And they drop you in a bar and it's like, I don't like this. Well, I get, I just get nervous sometimes.

I don't know. I wish I did. It's just for anybody who ever accuses us of like schtick or whatever. Like, no, this shit is real.

John is really crippled over there in the corner. Is that guy crying over there? That's John. But anyway, this girl did, she like was kind of standing there quiet

and then like the conversation lulled and she was like, so are we going to talk about the movie? I was like, okay, if you want to talk, we can talk about it. But what we realized is that people went to the movies alone and they came to the bar alone, which is something I didn't expect. No, I expected a group. But then it makes – well, maybe I didn't. It makes perfect sense it's like because you can't be like yeah me and sarah went to the movie and then we're gonna go to the bar together it's like the idea was you went alone but everybody ended up there was enough

people talking they didn't go alone they went to meet up with a group of people like there are times where you go and meet your buddies at the bar they go there alone they met strangers they went alone well we're all alone together That's the point I just didn't think It was gonna I didn't realize That it was gonna translate

To going to the bar alone I thought You would bring a friend Or whatever But if that friend Didn't go to the bar You know it makes perfect sense I just didn't envision it that way

Because there was a point Where So we had like The middle section Of the Ainsworth If you've ever been there On 26th street There's like

Three sections We had the middle And It was like a Full fucking crew of people talking and there was these packs of girls that you would have absolutely thought were friends and then like halfway through the night they were like oh yeah and we don't even know each other we all just became friends i was like it's working it's working my whole idea is actually coming to fruition it was cool i mean it was uh there's definitely been. There are whole packs of people, especially on Twitter, who have met through Barstool that are now like the best of friends. Yeah.

Well, I saw somebody once tweeted like, I'm so much better friends with my Twitter friends because I like met them after I knew. Like, I picked them out. Like, your friends, you meet them in high school and college and then you're stuck with them. It's like, if I meet my new friends on the internet, they're going to be exactly what I fucking like. You're out. So it's like, I've curated these people to be the exact fucking weirdos and assholes that I want to hang out with. I think, I forget who it was. It was either Jeff, it was one of the Lights Camera guys, and they had a tweet that I thought was one of the most accurate things ever that

your Twitter friends are your best friends because they're there through it all. Yeah. Like your Instagram is a highlight reel of your life. Yep. And like the ones who say and see all that terrible shit. You know what it is? Instagram is the highlight reel and Twitter is the outtakes. Twitter is the bloopers, the cutting room floor.

Like this is not good enough to put on my Instagram. This is my real life. Yeah. And they see you at your worst. That's like, you know, if you don't love me at my Twitter, you don't to put on my Instagram. This is my real life. Yeah, and they see you at your worst. That's like, you know, if you don't love me at my Twitter, you don't deserve me at my Instagram. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was the only, you know, like I said, it just ended up being an excuse to drink and we all had a good time. But the only point of contention was whether or not that fucking dinosaur dying in the lava was sad enough. And I can't believe you don't have a heart to believe that that brontosaurus or brachiosaurus, if we're going to go back to the first one where that little fucking kid tells him it's brachiosaurus.

When that dinosaur is trying to make it to the boat and he doesn't get there in time. And I don't think they could put that thing on a boat anyway. He's too big for a fucking boat. Right. And he just gets devoured by lava. And you see this poor herbivore who's just, he's like a giant puppy. And you see him like, and he just gets swallowed by lava. If you don't think that's sad, man, I don't have a heart for dinosaurs. It's fucked up.

After all we've been through. I mean, this shit started in 1993. Dinosaurs are a part of our goddamn lives because of the Jurassic Park series. You don't, like, the whole point of Jurassic Park, since the very first one, is always kind of like, you end up like, oh, really, it's not the dinosaurs that are bad, guys. It's like the conniving humans. You don't have a connection to dinosaurs? They're all so bad. Not the brachiosaurus.

He just eats tree leaves. That guy is nice. I mean, look, if it was a puppy, yeah, it would have been a goddamn puddle. I mean, dinosaurs are just old school dogs. I have no personal connection to a dinosaur. I've never pet a dinosaur. I've never held a dinosaur. Yo, it's coming, bro.

It's coming. I hope not. Five years from now, they say they're going to have the technology. I mean, we're going to need actual Jeff Goldblum to come out and be like- That is the craziest part of these movies, where it's just like, how do you keep doing this? That's the goal. I mean, in Jurassic Park, whatever, 10 now, he's in the Senate hearings throughout the movie, and he's just like, stop fucking doing this, you assholes.

And the next one, spoiler alert, I mean, the next one's going to be totally off the fucking rails. Next one, I don't even know what's going to happen. You going to Jurassic Park when they really make it? You going to go to the dinosaur zoo? Fuck yes. See, this is the problem. I know. Everybody's like, don't do this.

Don't do this. And we're like, no, but we're going to go. I will be there, and I hope they make those little glass balls that are in the most recent ones. And I hope it'll probably all go wrong, and I'll probably be eaten. Speaking of the nine lives, once dinosaurs are real, I would love to be eaten by a dinosaur as one of my deaths. No, pass. Why? Pass.

That's crazy. You wouldn't want to live out your ass? I mean, you have your nine lives. You're going to come back. Don't care. Painful. You die, but you don't care painful no you die but it's like you're not uh you don't avoid the pain of the death no i want like um like a one one bite everybody knows the

rules from a t-rex like bite me in half and then i'm done and then i go viral because you like my legs are just you know flailing around that's the dream that's the best that's what everybody wants go viral in your death So I mean Bonafide success So we'll definitely be planning the next one Maybe Two things One

We are going to try to do Some sort of content there next time We'll plan that out better We'll do a podcast Maybe it can be heard throughout the bar Maybe you can just kind of watch us in action Either way We'll probably do a little something more

Than just drink Maybe not And two I think we should maybe try to pick a better movie because most people didn't like it. I'd say about 80% of the people were like, well, I went to see that fucking shitty movie for you guys, so let's hang out now. We talked about if we should try and pick a good one because sometimes the bad one makes

for better conversation at the bar. You need it to be a little worse than Jurassic Park was. I think Skyscraper would have been dope. Yeah. Skyscraper is probably perfect. What are your views on Skyscraper, by the way? Probably not good, but you know what? I bet you it's like 10% critic, 90% audience.

And then one other thing was suggested was maybe also throw in like a throwback movie that like everybody rewatches for the first time. We could do, does it hold up? Yep. You know, like around Christmas time, it can be like, it can be Home Alone. Oh, I'll tell you what we're going to do. The new Godzilla movie. You see that shit, John?, it can be Home Alone. Oh, I'll tell you what we're going to do. The new Godzilla movie. You see that shit, John?

The trailer just dropped this weekend, so you probably didn't see it. Eleven's in it. Coach Taylor's in it. What? Yep. When's it come out? Probably, I mean, it was just the first trailer, so I think probably in a while. Probably like next summer.

Oh my. We'll be dead by then. This is going to be the best movie ever. And I think, I mean, I can't tell by the trailer, but I think maybe Coach Taylor is related to Eleven. I mean, if Coach Taylor. Oh, yeah, you know what? She actually has put up an Instagram a while ago. If Coach Taylor is Eleven's dad.

I think she calls him dad in an Instagram. Oh, I just got there. I just got there. And the dinosaurs, I mean, the monsters, the Titans, they're called, are like kind of the good guys. I don't know how or why. In the trailer, the chick who's the girl from The Departed, the girlfriend, the therapist, she says like our planet is under attack from a virus and it's spreading. And the only way to stop it is to awake the Titans.

You know how the story of Godzilla works? They're like underground in the ocean. So they know where story of Godzilla works? They're underground in the ocean. So they know where all of them are, and they're keeping them at bay. But now they need to wake them up on purpose. I'm thinking that might mean that because Godzilla's nuclear, so I'm thinking maybe he's eating radiation or something like that. That's what the virus is. Anyway, they're purposely waking them up.

So it's a little twist. Because I was like, we can't just keep doing Godzilla. But I guess Godzilla and Mothra, whatever the other fuck ones are, they actually are trying to work with them. Because there's one scene. There's definitely a scene where Godzilla is swiping planes out of the sky. But then there's one scene where there's an army, like a fleet of planes going with Godzilla towards something. It was like, yo. Yeah.

And I mean, it's Eleven. And she's got the hair. And she's doing her Eleven things. She's like standing in the face of fucking chaos with Godzilla there. I was like, I love you. I love this little girl so much. God forbid something happens to Millie Bobby. Like, if she goes down a bad path, if she goes down, like, the child actor path and it's a tragedy, I'll probably kill myself.

I would be with you on that. Yeah. I think we'd have to have a suicide pact. If she's like into drugs Or goes to jail Or something God forbid I'd kill myself

Yeah So no pressure Millie Bobby Brown is The most important thing In the world Yeah it's like Black Twitter Protect her at all costs

I was just gonna say It's the first time I've ever meant I've genuinely meant Protect her at all costs And that little fucking guy Better be treating her right What's his name

They broke up I think Oh good then you know Back on the market Find you a king Find you a king. Find you somebody who treats you like a fucking queen, girl. Anyway, we'll keep you updated on Alone Together. We'll keep you updated on our trips to the bar.

Eventually, this is going to spiral into just like we don't need a movie to go to the bar. And we're just going to have our KFC Radio bar gang. And we'll catch you guys tomorrow for a full-length episode of KFC Radio.