KFC Radio - Quickie: David Koechner (The Office, Anchorman, Out Cold)

Episode Date: June 8, 2018

The hilarious David Koechner (Todd Packer, Champ Kind) stops by for an interview. We talk about his roles in The Office, Anchorman and the cult classic Out Cold.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's KFC Radio. We got very special guest David Koechner in the building. We got Rob along here. He's the feature on the new movie Bernard and Huey, which is out Friday. It's on video on demand. Today. It'll be out today. Video on demand and in select theaters. And I like your style, man, the way you came in here.

I was like, all right, we're going to have some fun here. Can I ask a quick question, too? This is a personal one before we even get into it. You wear a fat suit in the movie? Because you're a pretty trim guy. You had some. No, I lost weight. You lost weight?

Okay. I love fat suit in the movie. It tells you how heavy I was at the time. I think I was drinking quite a bit then, too. So you were method acting. Yes. You know what? Also, we started shooting Superior Donuts, which is now canceled, but was on the air

while we were shooting at the time, and I gained 15 quick pounds. That'll do it. The quick 15 is always, yeah. Kev's a big donut guy. He knows that shit. He's a donut guy. It's good for your everything. Good for the soul.

Yeah. Yeah, between the beard and the weight, I wouldn't even recognize you, man. That's sweet. I guess. Looking sharp. It's always like, well, I guess I look good now, but you're telling me that I really look like shit back then. No, it's true.

That's kind of the vibe, right? When I meet people, they usually say, wow, you're taller than I thought. We get that a lot, too. And you've lost a lot of weight. But that's forever. I mean, even when I was, Anchorman, I was like 195, and people thought I was like 220. I play a little brawl. It's the camera, too, right?

You've heard that a million times. Yeah, we'll blame the camera. Yeah, listen, the camera, they always say 15. I'm like, it's like 20, 25. We were on film the other day, and I was wearing a T-shirt, and I just had like a full-blown like C-cup. I was like, oh, God. It was disgusting.

Forever. For the rest of the week, I've been walking around with my arms crossed. You were a sweatshirt in summer now. Then you promise yourself, I'll just start with 10 push-ups a day. Literally, I did 10 push-ups. You say just, like that's not a lot. I was wobbling by the 10th. The other morning I woke up, it was actually the morning after that video premiered,

I woke up at 6.30 in the morning, fresh as a daisy, and I said, you know what? It's gym day today. I'm going to do this. I watched about three episodes of The Office. Oh, nice. Didn't get out of bed. The opposite of gym day, essentially. All right, I guess I'm going to work now.

We'll get into some office talk, obviously. We've got Todd Packer here. But the new movie is Bernard and Huey. And it's the story of two guys who kind of reconnect in life after they were friends in college and two different paths kind of coming back together. One is actually we describe him as my friend here, John, in about 20 years. Yeah, Huey. You guys are kindred spirits, you know, kind of chewed up, spit out and kind of live in a rogue life. And Bernard, who's more newly divorced, you guys kind of reconnect.

Yes. But it kind of runs with a lot of themes of what we talk about here. We're always talking about life, guy shit, lifestyle, whatever. And we're always asking questions. You know, are you allowed to do this? Can you do that? My first one off the bat is, are you allowed to have sex with your friend's daughter? No.

No. That's a quick one, right? That's a quick answer. That's like a baseline test. Rob here is not so sure. The concussion test where you got to get the baseline like, okay, he's sane. We got that. Next one.

Rob disagrees though. I think if you have sex, then you have to marry her. Okay. Because then it makes it like it was love. It wasn't lust. I'm going to go no still. You can't marry your friend's daughter? I think I'd rather have my friend sleep with my daughter rather than marry her.

I think a one-night stand rather than a marriage. Then you're calculating, oh, you're sleeping together all the time. All the time. I can't sleep with any of my friend's daughters because I'm married, you see. Right, right. So I can only sleep with one person. If you were to. Yes.

Is there anyone you are? Oh, no. Well, my daughter is only, well, my friend's daughter, I guess. I don't even think about it. I don't because I have a daughter. Right. So, yeah. No.

No, quick though. Well, then I guess the follow-up to that was the revenge move was to sleep with his ex. Right? So, your friend sleeps with your daughter. So, revenge, you sleep with his ex, right? Okay. So your friend sleeps with your daughter, so revenge, you sleep with his ex. Uh-huh. Is that fair game? Everyone here in the scenario is divorced. Yes.

Everyone's living a single life here. Yes. Separated at least. I think that is acceptable, and I think your buddy would be like, good. See, that's what Kevin's always had with me. I've always been the – I'm Neil Armstrong. And once the USA flag has been planted there, the moon is mine. And you don't get to go there.

I'm trying to fuck the moon. You don't get to go and take that from me. I feel like that's – we had an interrelationship. We have an interrelationship. You don't get to go that way. You didn't stay on the moon. You landed and you went back. And now the moon is international water. I can go on the moon too.

Yeah, you can have a cup of coffee. The Neil Armstrong joke, I don't know if it's true. Apocryphal story. Apparently Neil Armstrong when he was growing up, this could be a lie, but apparently when he was pardon me he was growing up, and this could be a lie, but apparently when he was growing up, the neighbors were arguing that we're on, we can curse? Oh, yeah.

Apparently, the guy, the neighbor next door, the dad or whatever, wanted a blowjob from his wife. And she said something like, you'll get that when the neighbor boy walks on the moon. And like I said, could be an apocryphal story but apparently and i don't know you had to go back through the transcripts um is this young man looking up right now um no you're not working what do you get on the show neil armstrong said something like good luck mr whatever his name was mr wolf or something like that tonight. And she still didn't blow up. Damn it. And then he had sex with his daughter.

I'm going to leave that. Yes. But I think if you're divorced, you don't care who sleeps with your ex-wife because you're done. You've moved on. I'm with you on that one, man. I think I just never move on. You know, I'm a romantic, Dave. Okay, well, then you're not going to get divorced.

No, I'm not going to get married. That's real. So romantic. He's never going to go down the aisle. Very romantic. What about your buddy's sister? Is that the equivalent to he's with your daughter and then you? I think daughter is the worst.

Yes. I think sister next and then X is a distant third. Oh, yes. I would go daughter mother because that's just like weirdly inappropriate. You imagine the sisters within the right age range. Sister

distant fourth X. With the mother you also go, how long have you been thinking about this? It's premeditated. I've been thinking about this? That's a great question. You know what it is? It's premeditated. It's like, I've been plotting how I'm going to fuck your mom. Everything else is manslaughter.

This is mom's murder. Yes, exactly. A sister, an ex can be like, we were out, we were drinking. A mother, it's like, I've been trying to find a way to fuck your mom. Since I was 12. For a decade. For like 25 years. A gum, gumby jobby.

She has dentures. I thought you were speaking a different language. Is that like Swahili? Language of a motherfucker. Classic. So in the show, in the Like I said It's two guys Reuniting after like 25 years So you're both

Kind of washed up Kind of over the hill In some ways At what point is it like What's How old is too old To kind of be running wild I don't think there is

An age for guys That's a great answer That's right guys It's very different For guys and girls For guys It's like a state of mind sort of thing. It's how you look, how much money you got, what kind of lifestyle you live.

But even then, no, because even then, you know, he's in a tough spot. He's running around. He's got a goofy hat like I buy, the gentleman's cap. He's got the leather jacket with the Navajo strip coat. Yeah, that was a crazy jacket. Got on it. But it worked. You kind of have that nomad, hopeless romantic.

It's kind of like, I don't know if you were a Californication guy, but kind of like Hank Moody. Hank Moody. Oh, I've not seen that show. He's just a guy who's sad, but he makes it handsome. And that's kind of how Huey was, I think. He made it work. He made a desirable sadness the movie was written by Jules Feiffer who wrote Carnal Knowledge

and he also wrote a bunch of plays who had been married three or four times and so it's kind of his life and he'd also written these cartoons for Playboy in the early 70s so that's what a lot of this was built on, these two friends Bernard and Huey in these cartoon panels would have these discussions about life and women. So

this screenplay was written in the 80s, I believe. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. A lot of this stuff. Yeah, it's like 25 years later, they kind of resurfaced. You know, and the point of view of the movie is a little rough. I guess you could have a great discussion about it because it's pretty misogynist in terms of these guys. So the other thing is they're stuck in the past. And that's the other thing.

Huey's daughter is as ballsy as he is, which is really an interesting thing. Mae Whitman, right? She's awesome. I love her. She good to work with? Oh, yeah. She's fantastic. One of the things I think Huey fully embraces is kind of, for better or worse, living that alone lifestyle.

Kind of runs away from things. Yes. Embraces that. Yeah, he just runs. He's an alcoholic. He runs. He deals weed. He's got a weed farm in Colorado.

That's not dealing weed. He's a businessman. That's in the business of weed. Responsible weed dealer There's something about that If you've refused to be in a relationship To that degree And he's already been married

And I think he ran through a lot of women Then you know he's never going to be Settled with himself But you know in the end of the movie Of course I don't want to give it away but whatever And then you know he's had a distant relationship with his daughter. All those years, a non-existent relationship for at least 15 years, it seems like. Yeah, you don't want to, like, I don't want to encourage, like, running away, especially if you've got kids and stuff.

But there's something intriguing about just being like, I'm not doing any of this fucking shit. You know, I'm just like. I guess. I mean, that's a strong choice. Why not? You know, if that's the choice you make, that's fantastic. Right? But I feel like there's a lot of stigma attached to it.

Well, if you have kids and you run away. Of course. Say you take away the kids. Everything else where you're just like, if you want to live rogue, I think there should be nothing wrong with that. I agree with you. It sounds like a nice lifestyle. No harm, no foul.

Look, if you don't have kids, who cares? Right. Yeah. It's only natural, right? It's a grass is greener thing. You always fantasize about the other life. You know, like I think about what it would be like to have a wife and kids. I am more on the Huey side at the moment.

Yeah. But, like, I think, like, yeah, you think about that, and I'm sure you think about, like, what I've said this before. I think, you know, the running joke in my family is my mom says if my dad didn't have to live with us, he wouldn't. Because he has, you know, his own room in the garage. Not his own bedroom, but he goes watch TV in the garage and goes on vacation and stuff like that. By himself?

Well, it's not vacation. We have a summer house that he goes to all the time. Has an entire other family in another city. Puerto Rico, different name, couple different passports. He's got three different licenses. He's a gay man in another state. He gets around you know to me i'm like i i try to honor my my my uh father-in-law's past and god rest him but uh i try to honor him

in respect to his daughter my wife in the way that i want your daughter to marry my daughters i have three so to me i'm like i want to make sure they're going to have good relationships and meet and tend to and, you know, partner with good men for long term relationships. And I don't want some guy who's running around on my daughter, you know, because then there's going to be bats and glass bottles in the wrong places involved. Respect that. That's that Kansas City right there. That's that Kansas City right there. That's that Kansas City. That's right. That's right.

You are a Kansas City guy, huh? I'm country, guys. Country boy. If you mess with my daughter, I'm coming at you. I don't care. I'll wait, too. I'll wait. I shouldn't say this on the air.

This could be used as evidence in 20 years. But, yeah, don't touch any of my daughters. I resent my earlier statement about it being okay about sex with a young daughter. I was completely, I was kidding. I'm drunk. I'm not talking cut it. We'll get rid of it. 20 years. But yeah, don't touch any of my daughters. I resent my earlier statement about it being okay about sex with a prince daughter. I was completely, I was kidding. I'm drunk. I'm not talking about it. You get back to Kansas City a lot? We're just there for two weeks in a row.

Rob and I just played the Kansas City Improv Memorial Day weekend, and my wife actually opened for Rob and I. Yes. Oh, shit. She did eight minutes up top. And then, because she's from Kansas City, and she'd taken a stand-up class in L.A. a couple years ago. And so she wanted to open, because what happens, a lot of her friends on Facebook said, you're opening for David, right?

I'm like, oh, my God. Now it happened. So she opened, and Rob featured. So, yeah, we're in Kansas City for that. And then last weekend was a charity thing called The Big Slick that I do with Paul Rudd, Rob Riggle, Eric Stonestreet, and Jason Sudeikis. And we bring about 30 celebrity friends in. Kansas City's got a squad, huh? That's a heavy hitter.

No one really thinks of Kansas City as a celebrity hotbed, but man, you guys are killing it. And so we raised $2 million, $2.1 million for Children's Mercy Hospital. Wow. Holy shit. Congratulations. That's incredible. We do that every year. And then I get back.

Like that. My sisters Congratulations. That's incredible. We do that every year. And then I get back, like that, my sisters all live in Kansas City and we usually go back for a family reunion down to Table Rock Lake. Me and Kansas City go down to Table Rock and then Rob and I usually,

Rob Riggle and I usually host a tailgate at the Chiefs for Children's Mercy Hospital. Wow, that's great. Is that like your partner in crime, Rob Riggle? You say the guy you kind of...

Rob actually knew my wife before I did. He's two years younger than her, and they went to the same high school. So that was, you know, just one of those interesting happenstances. Not that interesting, but it is to me. Let's do 10 more minutes on that. Do they have the same teachers?

Where was his locker? Rob and I are touring the country. We're doing a comedy tour called Symphony of Chaos. And Rob opens and I do the finish. And we're at Gotham Comedy Club this weekend, Friday and Saturday night, two shows each night. My buddy Craig Davis, who's not on the mic, who I've known for 35 years, plays guitar. And so this weekend only, I'm bringing out a couple old songs from the Naked Trucker and T-Bone show, doing $2 and a handjob, and then also another song called The Dirtiest Song Ever Written.

Can we get a preview of that? I don't know. See if I can think of it. You want Craig to join in? She's a-walking down the street, throwing you some heap, but things ain't what they seem. That's a nice moose knuckle under that belt buckle. Oh, wait, I've messed it up. What is it, Craig? I don't

remember the lyrics. I'll know them by tomorrow night, but it's been a year since I've done it. Oh, my God. Yes, it gets really dirty. It sounds like it's appropriately named. You know what? It was so dirty, and I wrote it's appropriately named. You know what? It was so dirty. I wrote it with my buddy Andy Paley

and I was giddy about the lyrics like any sixth grade boy would be because all men are sixth grade boys. That's about it. 100%. We've always said everybody just has a sixth grade boy inside of them that you're trying to suppress to be an adult. And every now and then it gets out.

And if a woman can find or get her man up to a 14-year-old boy, you marry him. Mission accomplished. If it's ever going to get him. He hit puberty. Let's lock it in. Andy and I wrote this song. It was so dirty, and I was giddy with laughter. And I couldn't wait to share it with my wife.

And I said, what do you think? She goes, is that what you want? Because there's a line about it. Yes. Thanks for wanting me to tell the truth truth or do you want me to lie? There's a line about taking her Down south and then putting it In her mouth

Poetry Yes Greg's in the background Yeah buddy That's very Walt Whitman or is that Robert Frost I hope you like dirty cums Because you're going to taste? I hope you like dirty cum because you're going to taste some. Yes.

I hope you like dirty cum because you're going to taste some. One, I put my shitty cock in your mouth. Everybody now. It is everybody. I love you in the back. The chorus is fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you too. So it is the dirtiest song ever written. American classic indeed.

I like it. Now, before we got in here, we talked a little bit about the Chiefs. We've heard you guys deal with agents a lot more than we do, I imagine. But we heard there was a little bit of a run-in with an NFL agent. Rob, you want to tell this story? We were in Kansas City, and the manager comes back and says, hey, someone from the Chiefs wants to say hi before the show. And I'm thinking it's a player.

He said the guy said he didn't want to hang out after the show. He'd rather just come back and take a picture now. So I thought it was going to be a Chiefs player. Yeah, or a coach. We're excited. Yes, we're excited. Guy comes back, says he's an agent, and he represents all these Chiefs. And Tyreek Hill, he starts dropping all these, you know, this guy didn't get his performance bonus.

It cost me X amount of money. Here's my phone. Pictures of me and all these famous NFL athletes. Antonio Brown. Tony Gonzalez at this banquet. And he's wearing camouflage shorts and just an Under Armour. Not an impressive look. Okay.

You paint the picture. All I think is, Chiefs tickets. Right. Hang in there. Listen, listen. Get Chiefs tickets. I get it. All I'm thinking is cheese tickets. Right. Hang in there. Listen, listen. Get cheese tickets. I say, where do you live? He goes, Topeka.

I go, I don't know. Does an NFL agent live in Topeka? I don't know. And then I say, did you sign any players in this year's class? He goes, yeah, I didn't really care for this year's class. I'm like, well, you sign a player, you get paid. Who cares if they suck? You get paid.

So I'm like, okay. So we exchange information. He's promising tickets to this and that he said i could go to the hall of fame game the worst game you want to go to right the first game of the year the preseason it's 97 degrees and can't know how why would i want to go to that but whatever so i go home and i i google him and he is an agent he's an insurance agent home life and auto he wasn't lying he had Tyreek Hill's car insurance yes

and he goes I work with the Chiefs not the organization I work with some Chiefs yes players I mean fair is fair he didn't say anything

that was untrue he didn't he didn't technically tell an untruth he didn't but he wanted you to sign things. He had a whole angle for some charity.

I mean, it was very douchey. I imagine you have to deal with that. We kind of get it at a very minimal level. I'm sure yours is much higher. But how do you deal with saying goodbye to someone who's just someone in the street? Oh, I just keep walking. You just keep walking? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've been working on that one. But you're pretty good at, you usually stop in a photo or- Yeah, I'll do a photo, but then it's over. Right. You know. We run into a lot, we'll be at a bar, and it's a photo and a handshake, and then they just stand. And it's like, okay, we're not friends in real life, man.

Right. The thing is, don't take the drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the closest you can ever understand what a woman goes through. Right, right, right. Dude buys you a drink, and now he owns you for the period of time that takes you to drink that thing. So you either drink it fast, or you go, I don't do shots because I don't, because I'm 55. Once you're over 50, you don't have to do shots again.

And you can all say, oh, thanks, I don't do shots. Come on, dude. Seriously, I don't. Until you hit 60, then you start again. So, yeah, I guess you could get back hit 60, then you start again. So, yeah, I guess you could get back into a conversation. If you're both there together, you'd also go, oh, you know what?

My buddy's having a hard time. We're in the middle of a really intense conversation. But I get you. Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. Because you don't want to be rude. You don't want to lose a fan. Also, you want to live your own life. And now, look what a woman's faced with. So, if she doesn't sit there and talk to. Right. Exactly. Also, you want to live your own life. And now look what a woman's faced with. Yeah.

So if she doesn't sit there and talk to this guy in entertainment for the time it takes to drink that drink, he walks away and goes, bitch. Right. Like, well, fuck you, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. She doesn't owe you anything. You bought her the drink. That's it.

And she'll stay there all night because at least us, if he takes it the wrong way, it's at least a fair fight. Right. A woman's going to- You ain't going anywhere. There are a million horror stories about what happened to a woman who said no to a drink or no to a date. So I can get that to... You ain't going anywhere. There are a million horror stories about what happened to a woman who said no to a drink

or no to a date. So I can get that. That makes a lot of sense. I guess the other thing is always carry an onion and take a huge bite. Get real close. Stank it up.

Get real close. Dude, I've got to tell you the longest story. Real close. You've got a handful of characters which I think are, you know are true cult classic type of characters. You've got Todd Packer in The Office. We're huge Office guys.

Champ Kind, Neckerman. And I'm going to go ahead and throw Stumpy and Out Cold in there. I mean, that is... Deep dive. I think that was my first run-in with David Koechner. I mean, I love Out Cold. Out Cold is one of my favorite movies ever. It's a cult classic. It's true. It's so great. Because you were 13echner. I love Out Cold. Out Cold is one of my favorite movies ever. It's a cult classic.

It's so great. Because you were 13 or 14. I was 13. You nailed it. 2001, right? Yeah, you crushed that. It was supposed to be an R-rated movie, but that was the year they came out and said there was a real strict guideline about letting kids into

R-rated movies. They changed it so they moved our movie from R to PG-13. Okay. So they cut back on some of the raunch and stuff that probably eventually... He still had plenty of shit stuck in there with Galifianakis getting his dick caught in a hot tub

and stuff like that. You know the Eskimos have nine words for cock stuck in a hot tub? Hell, they only have six words for snow! Do you know we actually were just kind of like reminiscing about it yesterday when we found out we were going to do this interview, and we looked it up. Do you know what the Rotten Tomatoes

is on that movie? Do you care about that? I don't. It's wildly offensive, and I want to start a movement right now. It's eight. Eight? What? Eight. Wow. Everyone who's listening to this, go rate it a 10. Or a 100. Whatever it may be. There's no better sign of a good movie when the critics give it like an 8 and then the

audience score is like 87. That's how I know it's a great fucking movie. Those are 1,000% of my moves. We're going to get that out there. It's not a reviewable movie. It's not a movie that is for critics. No, not at all. It is pure adolescent enjoyment.

Movies shouldn't be for critics. How do you deal with critics? I don't. I mean, you know, you're nice to them if you ever have a chance. Now, look, on Rotten Tomatoes now, who are these people? Yeah, right. Tell me your credentials. Yeah.

Did you study film criticism? Right. Or are you just a guy? Right. You know, because look, people will look, like you said, look at the audience vote or there's other websites where people just audience reviews.

Which is way more important. And critics should say, this is my favorite movies and shows. You can get a barometer of, oh, he likes that movie. Well, that's really not going to be my taste. We were looking looking just kind of going through things before you guys came in and i still have it up the rotten tomatoes for

bernard and huey which is very well reviewed by the way um and i i don't mean to harp on rotten tomatoes because i don't give a fuck about this but it was just something that happened to come across my phone and this is like something a critic wrote bernard and huey deserves to exist if only to bug the insufferably Stalinist woke among us who who who the fuck writes that sentence

and that's in case you didn't know that's positive it's a good it's a good review but you want to punch that guy in the face right in his fucking mouth

they're like can you imagine just typing that out you're not even a real human well yeah first of all what's your stance

on Stalin sir fan spend time in the gulag did you tell us You're not even a real human. First of all, what's your stance on Stalin, sir? Fan? Spend time in the gulag? Did you tell us? As far as Todd Packer and Champkind, I mean, I was actually debating it on the way over on the subway, who's a better character. I feel like they're cut from the same cloth. Yeah, they are. You put a cowboy hat on Todd Packer, I feel like you could kind of.

But it's got to be Todd Packer, no? What's more near and dear to your heart? I don't have to choose among my children, do I? Sophie's choice here. You have a favorite. Come on. I mean, actually, if I were you, it would probably be Champ Kine. Major motion picture, Anchorman, sequels, the whole nine.

Well, you're right in that they're very similar. And the thing is, they're both horrible misogynists. They're racist, jingoistic. I think that Champ's closeted. Packer's not. They're both horrible guys. Horrible. In the best way.

I'd say Champ's got more passion. Okay. So I appreciate that. But I think the Packer thing is that you're watching The Office, you love it, and then suddenly you come in an episode and you're that jolt of this great character that's not there all the time. And so you appreciate it. You don't even have to necessarily be on camera when they mention him or Michael references

him. It's like he's still there. You go to something funny. Yeah, the Packman. I mean, I've seen The Office probably 20 times through. It's just what I do. I put it on when I fall asleep. I hear that all the time.

Yeah, it's kind of just, it's like a story. I've seen it. I can close my eyes and picture it in my head because I've seen it so many times. So it's like Michael Scott is telling me to go to bed, right? But as many times as I've seen it and as many major characters there are, my favorite line is still, without a doubt,

Jim Halpert, tall, queer, handsome as hell. It's funny how endearing it is, because like you said, when you really list out the characteristics, it's like, these people are terrible. Yet everyone's like, ah, the Pac-Man. Yeah, it's the Pac-Man. I, you know, of course, in the show, I'll do lines from the movies and the TV because people demand it, right?

I'm not stupid. But it's always interesting to me because I always say, what's up, Halpert? Still queer. And to me, I'm like, wow, it's so inappropriate. Wildly inappropriate. But people wait for it. Yes! Like, no! No! It's one of those things you know it's not right. wildly inappropriate but people wait for it and they're like yes and you're like no

no it's one of those things you know it's you know it's not right and you know it's not something you can do in your daily life

or say in your life but it's just something that's so funny it's a release to see someone else do it but you know that guy you know that guy that that's his insult

that's his goat and he's insufferable in real life but on screen man is he fucking great. Small doses. Yeah, you wouldn't want to hang out with him. No, no, no.

But I do want to watch him from afar. Well, I think there's part of that is like, well, thank God I'm not that bad. Yeah, yeah. No matter what I am, I'm not that bad. Right, make you feel better about yourself. Yes, yes. I mean, shitting in the office, shitting on the floor is... Take a deuce.

It's a strange... A lot of people over the years have said to me like, I want to quit my job and like shit on my boss's desk or shit on the floor or whatever it may be. I'm like, yeah, it's what the Pac-Man did. That's what it does. That's how he rolls. How'd he do it? Did he squat?

Did he put in a bag? Did he pay for a towel in the bathroom? Drop it? Yeah. That should be a separate show. The breakdown. Like a podcast or something on The Office, the behind the scenes. How did this go down? I'm surprised there isn't one. Let's do it. Yeah. The breakdown. Like a podcast or something on The Office. The behind the scenes. How did this go down?

I'm surprised there isn't one. Let's do it. Yeah. All right. We'll cut you in. We'll give you 14%. Nice. All right.

Well, the movie is Bernard and Huey. It's out right now video on demand and in select theaters. I appreciate all the laughs over the years, man. Right on.

And if you're in New York City Gotham this Right on. And if you're in New York City. Gotham this weekend? Yes. If you're in New York City, come see myself and Rob Mayer and Craig Davis on guitar. The Gotham Comedy Club. I think it's gotham.com. Gotham Comedy. Google that.

Google Gotham Comedy. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday. Be there. That's a busy weekend. Putting in the work. Why not, right? All right, man. Thank you so much.

Hey, thanks, man. It's been a joy.