KFC Radio - Quickie: Surviving Wedding Season

Episode Date: June 6, 2018

Summer is here, which means one thing: It's Wedding Season. Resident guest Kmarko stops by to talk Feits through the do's and don'ts of surviving his first ever wedding season.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's a Wednesday Quickie of KFC Radio. I got our third co-host joins us today. Oh, thank you. Keith. That was nice. K, Marco.

I love when your voice goes into podcast mode. It's like the best. Yeah, you know, I just flip the switch and I just go straight professional. We're just talking, checking the mics, and then you just launch into KFC. KFC's here. It's not Kevin. Oh, yeah, no, Kevin disappears and the fucking theatrics come out. I'm a showman, you know?

What can I tell you? The greatest showman. It is June 5th, which means wedding season is upon us. And my esteemed colleague and idiot friend, John Feidelberg, told me that this keith is like his first ever wedding season where he's got like many weddings to go to so i've been to weddings right before i am an adult man you've never had like a full-fledged like summer of where you have this is my do you know what you have three okay no four four four i was gonna

say three four it's like you have a wedding season. I mean, in the past few years, once you start hitting 30 and domino effect, I mean, I've had like seven. I've had like upwards of ten sometimes. What? It's crazy. See, this will be the most I ever have. This will be my big one. Well, the thing is, you know, you are single right now. When you have two sets of friends, it basically doubles.

And all of a sudden, the summer's really only like, I don't know, what, 14 weekends long or something like that? You have like seven, eight of them. It's like, your summer. You don't go to all of them, do you? I had one with 13. What? Holy shit. Summer with 13, yeah. Why do you have so many friends? You don't have this many

friends. You do have a lot of friends. I do. I haven't been to one in a while. I haven't been to one in a long time. It's kind of crazyzer as a friend. I haven't been to one in a long time. It's kind of crazy. But there were like two summers in a row. One was 13, and the next one I still had five or six. It's nuts. It was like, yeah.

Well, at least be popular. They probably span from what, like April to like October? Yeah, it was almost every weekend. There weren't many. It wasn't much off time. It sucks because they're fun. Weddings are fun when you're there. And this is what we're going to talk about today, like surviving wedding season.

It's about the travel. It's about the gift. It's about the renting of the tux if you're in it. It's about how much do you give to this friend? Do you say yes to this? And what if you have – all of that shit. It gets stressful when you have that many to deal with. It's not even stressful.

Expensive. It's expensive as fuck. Especially some people do destinations or- Like a friend getting married costs like $1,000. Yeah, it's like boom, between- No, more than that. Whoa, money bags. More than that?

You mean just the gift or like overall expenses? Not just the gift. $1,000. I'm trying to picture. Wow. I don't know. Wait, what are we saying here? Like the entire wedding experience he's saying costs $1,000. I. I don't know. Wait, 50 bucks? What are we saying here? Like the entire wedding experience he's

saying cost $1,000. A whole hotel gift? I hadn't factored it in. The travel isn't much. But I guess I kind of just threw a number out there without actually doing the math. I'm trying to do it in my head right now, but I'm not good at math. No, you're right, because I'd be like, Nashville cost more than $1,000, so that's where the bachelor party

was. But listen, I think your average wedding, you're not clocking in much more than $1,000 every time, are you? Well, so the girl I used to date way back had like six best friends all in L.A., and they all got married. Oh, so you're traveling west coast of the town. Yeah, flight to L.A., flight back, hotel in L.A., gifts, like all that shit. Once you factor in flights, like if you're, you know, let's say you're local, but you still have to get like a hotel. It's, you know, you get like a hotel for one night because you just like need the place to stay unless you're like in it. Gift, you know, you're not going to be over a thousand much very frequently if it's like a local wedding.

Right. That's what the one I'm factoring in right now. Unless you're just balling out with the gift key. I give a significant gift. And I like to get new suits for them all the time. I had to buy a suit for this one, too. This one, I'm in it. So I had to buy a groom's party suit.

So that was expensive. The groom's party suit. It's not a tux. It's like a wedding on a beach. Not on a beach, but you know what I mean. It's in Falmouth. And then Nashville was expensive. Yeah, shit adds up, man. I haven't gotten the present yet.

I should probably get on that. Gotten the present? What do you mean? Just give them money. That's the way to do it? Well, that's a very regional thing, what I found out. I think if you're like tri-state area, northeast is just like straight cash. And I think that like around the rest of the country, people get like actual gifts.

Well, they have a registry. They do the registry for people who don't care about it. I remember you were like, please give me cash. Please just hand me cash. And, you know, if I think modern day weddings are not as much like just, you know, the bride's father just pays for the whole thing. I think a lot of people are at least paying for some of it a lot of people want just honeymoon money like to me if somebody were to give me like a fucking blender i would murder that i so this i haven't had one in a while the one i have coming up is my very best friend outside of barstool it's john sorry kevin

sorry out uh very best friend so that the gift right there that's a shitload of money yeah it's in italy in tuscany so you have to flights italy like staying in italy obviously have to travel a little bit so travel expenses i've been saving for that for like a year now i mean he's your best friend and like you're not gonna go that's that's a what if you're do a destination wedding, like that's the way. Oh, no. I'm pumped for it. The problem is like even this happened with my wedding.

It certainly was not a destination, but like everyone had to travel to the Jersey Shore and get hotels. So all of a sudden it's like it kind of is a destination wedding, but it was just Jersey. I felt like a fucking asshole. If you're going to make people travel, you should probably pick a dope spot. How many people are in that wedding? 50. 50 are going. It's super small.

There's no wedding parties or anything. It's just very casual. Is there a reason why it's Italy? It's dope. They love to be not conventional. They like to do different things. It's going to be fun. I mean, I'm pumped for it.

The problem is when it's people that you don't really like. When you're on that fringe. Mexico is a big thing now. I've noticed a lot of people are going to Mexico. I'm not going to a wedding in Mexico. No? You're just off the list? No.

What if Keith gets married in Mexico? Yes, I'll go to Mexico. But unless you're one of my closest friends, I'm not going to a wedding in Mexico. I got an invite from a very close friend, and I just RSVP'd no and sent it back because it was in Mexico. Really? Yeah, I don't want to travel. Okay. That's the thing.

You run the risk. If you want to do these destinations, people will just be like, ah. He was probably pumped anyway. It's like one less person. It's like he didn't care. I was praying for no's at mine. We like, we got, they say when you do, when you go down this road, they say like, you can basically factor in like 15% no's or some shit like that. Just like, that's always what happens.

I got like 15, like, I got like 10 total no's. I remember opening the envelope like, no, I said yes. Fuck, everyone's coming. It was brutal. Oh, I'll tell you what was the problem is two of those 13 weddings I went to, the couple divorced in less than 10 months, like eight months. And I almost asked for the gift back. I feel like they should have given me that back.

I didn't go to a wedding like a year and a half ago, I think, or something like that. And probably three months after the wedding, I saw a friend who did go and i told her i was like oh you know i gotta send them a gift don't even bother and she goes don't even bother i was like wait it's february the wedding was in november what do you mean don't even bother with the gift that's crazy town listen she's like yeah no it's done this marriage life ain't easy bro i can tell you things happen uh so the the blueprint to surviving wedding season keith you just kind of mentioned it uh it sucks but i think if you know you have one of these summers upon you you got to start saving you got to like start taking that into account if you really want to do it right and not be bankrupt by september yeah and i'm in like i'm still in like love going to weddings mode. Like I don't want people to say

they hate going to weddings unless it's super like out of the way, which in that case I'll just say no. But I like going to weddings. I like having a chance. It also helps that we work here. So like any chance to, you know, get dressed up and do something a little fancier

than normal is cool. Definitely. And it's always fun. I like going to funerals. Anything I gotta put on a suit for, I'm in. Yeah, that's really true. You are the most vain motherfucker in the world. I love when people die Anything I got to put on a suit for, I'm in. Yeah, that's really true. You are the most vain motherfucker in the world. I love when people die because I get to put on a tie.

I had to go to one recently, and I was like, oh, I just got a new black suit. It fits me really well. I'm like, sorry for your loss, but I look fucking dope right now. Can we take IGs here? What's the funeral hashtag? The funeral hashtag. That's great. Changing the game on them.

It's like wedding crashers crashing funerals. So, yeah, well, it's like the same thing when you're a kid. Did you guys go through like Sweet 16 phase? No. Where like, you know, it was like cool in the beginning. Like everyone's like sneaking booze in the bathroom. And like, you know, it's like the girl you have a crush on. Everyone's sneaking booze in the bathroom. It's like the girl you have a crush on.

It's a party. And then when you're on, you're like your 10th one at the same fucking place because everyone does it at the same spot. I didn't go to a single Sweet 16. None? None. Your whole existence makes no sense. You're boarding school shit. When would you have it?

Did you live a normal high school life? No, I never did a Sweet 16. And as we talked about last week, never did you go to like birthday parties uh like did anybody ever like rent out a place for a birthday party and do like that yeah children they rent out like laser gate yeah like discovery zone yeah no no no yeah i'm talking about like you know older like uh like a sweet 16 they rent out like a catering hall no no no no never anything like that man you missed out they were fun yeah apparently that and the bar mitzvahs is like my huge black mark on my childhood well my point was that you know they're fun in the beginning and then after a while you're like sick of them i think that's the same thing with weddings in the beginning

it's new you're pumped and by when it's the same friend group like in the same summer when it's like okay now i'm paying more money again yeah i'm gonna like dance to shout with the same summer when it's like, okay, now I'm paying more money again. Yeah. I'm going to like dance to shout with the same fucking people for the fourth time this season. It gets a little stupid. It also helps that I've never been to like a bad one. Like I've been to some that weren't, you know, great. And they weren't my cup of tea.

Uh, but I was with really good people when I was there. So that, that's really all that matters. That's a great point. I, I, I don't understand.

I'm, I'm with Keith or I don't understand people who complain about weddings. They are expensive and all that, but like, Kevin, I had fun at your wedding. When you have a dud wedding, though, it sucks. Yeah, I get that. Because when you do all the aforementioned shit and spend all the money, and then you get there, and it's like, there's no dancing, the food sucks, the speeches were too long. I have faith in my friend group.

I don't think I'll ever go to one of those. You know what, though? It's not really like families get involved. Some of my craziest friends had the tamest weddings because who knows why, whatever was going on behind the scenes. I think all four I'm going to go to this year are going to be fucking fire. Well, it'll come about when you start dating someone and you have to go to her friend's stuff because you won't know anyone

and the possibility is real that it'll stink. I mean, you're pretty outgoing, so you'll meet people, but if you're not in the mood on that particular day to meet new people, then that's going to suck. That's what's tough. I like to know people. John's never going to date anybody.

He's done. Look at that awkward laughter. He's like, it's not true. What are you going to date anybody. He's done. Look at that awkward laughter. He's like, it's not true. What are you going to do? So you got to save your money. You got to pick your spots. Mexico? Nope.

Not doing it. What's a gift? What do I get? Like you said money. I mean the general rule of thumb is kind of like cover the cost of your plate. So if it's like a fancy spot, you got to like kind of gauge. But that's not even a present then. Well, that's where, you know, I think if it's like an acquaintance, maybe you cover the plate.

And if it's better than that, you give some more. And if it's your best friend. It's like if I'm in the bachelor party or I'm in the groom's party. Keith? I have no idea. I'm not going to say what I would spend. What do you think? What would you spend?

I don't know. I would give like 400 bucks. I was going to say 400 bucks. Yeah, John's throwing up his fat pudgy fingers. I think I did 500 for like my best friends. 400 was pretty much like a good friend. And then if I was like – I only have best friends 400 was pretty much like you know a good friend and then uh if i was you know like i only have best friends that's my problem oh okay no like it's because i have i have so few friends that like if you're my friend you're my only best friend yeah and i'll

tell you what this is a huge like good friends this is a huge part of my personality which you guys probably know i would rather you know be out a couple hundred bucks splurging too much on the gift than for anyone to ever say that I cheaped out on their gift. I don't want to be the cheap guy ever. If I can't afford, I'll add $300 onto your gift just because I like. I'll throw it away just so you don't say that about me. It's like when John tips. You can't do the math. He's just like, here you go.

I leave so much in fucking tip money just so they don't think I'm a Jew. Here's how it works, too. You, when you have a wedding, you open up a fucking Excel spreadsheet and you write down everyone's name and what they gave you and you give it right the fuck back. So, you know, you can cheap out if you want, but the day you get married, you're going to get the same exact thing right back. Oh, I got you. You know?

Yeah. We had a couple friends where we were getting married like in the same time and it was like we had a gift truce because it was like I'm going to give you the same exact money right back.

So let's just call it even. Me being insecure about stereotypes has made servers and people getting married so much money. There's so much. Here you go.

I'm not Jewish. I just saw you looking at my nose. Merry Christmas. Here's 50% What about like So I don't have The only wedding

I've already RSVP'd to Is one in July The other ones Are later in the summer Just RSVP Just get it in That's another good rule of thumb Like

Just send your RSVP I've RSVP'd no date For this one So like What's the deal with Being in a That's another good rule of thumb. Just send your RCP. I've RCP'd no date for this one. So what's the deal with being in a groom's party? And do brides actually care if you sleep with someone in the bridal party? I would make sure it's not done in a super sloppy way. If you're partying and having fun and you hook up, it's fine. I'm not going to rape anybody. Look at you thinking you're gonna sleep with the bride well i just know like all i know like is from like movies and i know like that's

a thing in movies like don't sleep with the bride too i'm like is that like a thing no i think you're good i mean i know uh i'm just saying like you know if that was something that where do i rise should i avoid it one of my groomsmen hooked up with one of the bridesmaids at my party i don't know if they slept together but they were were making out and having a good time. And we were happy about it. I was like, oh, this is cool. Okay. Caitlin was cool with that.

I mean, I think you got to feel it out. It's like if you're sloppy drunk and look at John. He's going to go fuck that girl upstairs because they're fingering around on the dance floor. That kind of stuff is generally frowned upon, I think. That's not my game. I'm a little more subtle in my endeavors. I like the confidence going in, though. That's key.

John's already just penciled this in, apparently. That's true. So when I fuck the bridesmaid, should I keep it secret or? Should I do it on the dance floor? Oh, not that one? Okay. What else can we school John Boy here on how to survive the wedding season i have one my biggest wedding strategy is i am always one of the first people to hit the dance floor like even because there's nothing more awkward than the person that's not

really dancing like this goes for school dances too like if you aren't out there right away and people think that you're scared to dance or like uncomfortable and they see you sitting there and then you work your way over there they're like oh this guy got pressured into it let's watch him now because he sucks at dancing i just like psych myself up i'm like you know i'm just gonna fucking go dance i don't give a shit what i look like and once you start that precedent everyone's like whoa this guy's confident he looks cool and then they join in and you never have to i guess it's kind of like the stereotype you're also good enough dancer that you can do that. That's a big ask for some people.

I'm an incredible wedding dancer. I can't dance, obviously. But my stay in place and move a little bit. I know the words to a lot of the songs, so I'm always doing the wraparound thing. Yeah, you do the hands. Oh, I'm so good. And you know who appreciates the shit out of that? The bride and the groom.

There's no more anxious feeling than you want your party like you want your wedding to be a good party. And it's like – Are they going to dance? Are they going to have fun? Right, right. The only time I've had a feeling comparable to that is back on the Blackout Tour when we'd open the doors at 8. And we knew no one was coming until 10.30, but doors were at 8. And it would just be a panic for two hours being like

are they gonna come are they gonna come and then it would be a fucking riot rushing through the door but for two hours it seemed like fuck no one's coming no one's coming oh my god this party's gonna suck this is so embarrassing and then my then you have it my advice would be like even if you're not confident just pretend you are and just go for it because you'll look so much better be the first to do everything like i'm always the first one to grab the chair at the Jewish weddings when we lift him up on the chair. I always grab it first.

Even like I can't handle it by myself. I let all the big guys come in. And like the circle where we loop arms and go in a circle. Oh, wow. You guys do the Jew wedding, huh? Oh, yeah. Jewish weddings are so much better

than your bullshit. Really? We sat in a fucking hour and a half mass for his. Jewish weddings are all about the fun. Most aren't like that. But you said this before about the reception, too. What's different about the reception? Like, once you're out of the church, there was nothing Catholic about my reception.

Oh, yeah. No, it's just always more fun, I think. You just like being around the Jews. I just, yeah. My experience is it's been more fun. Yeah, no, no. No, I mean, yours is great. It's always like, I guess my, I don't have any like real Jewish friends. I have like casual Jewish friends like me.

And so there's not like a lot of religion. There's like the fun stuff. There's stomping on the glass and then you just party. So my, the few Catholic weddings I've been to, almost all of them were like full mass. Yeah. And that was awful. That's terrible. That's tough.

Yeah. You'll be there one day, John. Even though we were like 20 minutes late. I'll be at a full mass? Oh, yeah. I don't think I'll be at a full mass. You don't think you will be? No. Why do you think I'll be in a full mass? Oh, yeah. I don't think I'll be in a full mass. You don't think you will be? No.

Why do you think I'll be in a full mass? You will be. Because you're married like an Irish Catholic girl, and at the end of the day, our Catholic guilt kicks in. You think we wanted to do a Catholic mass? You just feel like you have to for some reason. I don't know if I'll feel like I have to. Because you're going to raise your kids Catholic, and I'm not.

Really? I don't think I'm going to. I'm not taking him to church. You're not going to like they're not going to like go to communion not going to get confirmation not going to do any of that?

If my wife wants to take him to church I'm not taking him to church every Sunday. I'm not doing church on Sundays. Yeah but that's not the same you know of course not.

Maybe I'll ship him off to CCD but like CCD you still got to go to church. I'm like I'm not going to church. They can take their own fucking ass to church

if they want. The whole thing with our kids was like if you because people like to get married in church they can take their own fucking ass to church if they want the whole thing with our kids was like if you because people like to get married in church you can't get married in church unless you do all that shit so it was like Shay wants to get married in church one day and don't get me wrong I'm not like

taking a stance I'm not like my child's gonna choose it's religion bro you're gonna do whatever your wife says you're gonna do whatever your wife says I promise you that I'm just not going to church on Sundays so whatever the fuck she wants to do she can do but I'm not going to church whatever your wife says. I promise you that. I'm just not going to church on Sundays. So whatever the fuck she wants to do, she can do. But I'm not going to church on Sundays. We'll see about that. Yeah.

Kind of an easy one is tip the bartender 20 bucks on your first drink. On the front. First thing you do. First of all, if you're at a cash bar, just leave because that's ridiculous. That's another regional thing though. Yeah, yeah. That's a big Massachusetts thing. Yeah.

Massachusetts thing? Oh, yeah. I went to one of my buddies. It was a long time ago, so I guess we were kind of young. But I showed up, and it was a cash bar, and I spent $600 there. Yeah. Because all my friends were like, oh, Big City Keith is back in town. He's got the drinks.

And I was buying shots, and the bill was $580. Specifically, Massachusetts. They all do cash bar. To me, it's just the chintzy, cheapest thing in the world. I actually don't have many Massachusetts friends, which is strange as someone from Massachusetts. But I don't know if I've ever been invited to. Actually, no, I just said the one in Valmouth. That's not a cash bar, though. So you tip them because it seems like I have an easy one, but wedding open bar bartenders hate their jobs more than almost anything.

And they're judging everyone, and they hate how much fun everyone's having and they hate like the drunk bridesmaids i was a caterer for a long time so i i i know you know this but some of the i know some of the unfriendliest people i encounter are working weddings they also uh usually with the open bar shots are not allowed but what late night like when the party really gets going if you've tipped them a lot they'll give you like you want something neat or on the rocks and it's basically a shot. You want their attention. You want them filling your drink up a little more.

It pays off when the party gets going. When I was a caterer, one time I was leaving a... It was like in high school. It was like high school. I guarantee you you were the worst caterer. Oh, terrible.

But let me progress with my story, please. I was driving the truck out this really fancy i forget what it's called it's a really fancy place to get married in bristol rhode island um and uh i was driving the truck out like down a like rickety road you know it's a dirt road and i can feel the truck bouncing all over the place. And then I started to hear like, and we had tons of milk crates of fine china in the back. I forgot to shut the door. So I just got a push broom out of the back and just pushed all the fine china into the woods.

Threw the milk crates deeper buried to find china and leaves shut the door and just showed up with like half the plates and no one ever asked me a question that's great

I would say don't this is not like a tip on survival but just if you're trying to have a good night like I don't I don't think I ever

sit down for more than like a quick bite like if you sit down and you have that's also more about the way the bride and groom like run the wedding I ever sit down for more than a quick bite. That's also more about the way the bride and groom run the wedding. If you sit down, you have every course come, and everyone's supposed to be sitting. Fuck all that noise. Eat a little bit, and get to the bar.

You don't have to dance the whole time, but either be at the bar or just walking around, working the room, talking to people. Same with a bachelor party. It's like when you go to a steakhouse one night. All the like, oh, the boy's at a steakhouse and then you're trying to go to the club and everyone's just dead. Everyone's so tired and killed on the phone.

Worst. Some friends who are getting married at the end of the summer are having like, it's not hors d'oeuvres the whole night, but it's like everything will be being passed.

Yeah. And it's like, you can sit down if you want, but like we have like, there'll be burgers being passed around and like all kinds of good food that you can just eat with your hands and shit like that.

And she was like, I just didn't want people to sit down all night. So I'm just having food passed all night. That's a good tip if you're getting married, is have something cool. One of the coolest things was when I was in one of those LA weddings, they had an in-and-out food truck drive in on the lawn and just give out in-and-out. Or my birthday party move, as you know, when I get like a shitload of McDonald's nuggets and fries for everyone. I forgot the fries. And just put that out.

Like something cool that like doesn't seem very wedding-like, but it's like what all drunk people want. I think we had some sort of dessert on the way out of ours. Yeah. Like take home like a fucking ice cream. I think we had donuts. Yeah, we had donuts. I don't know what it was. We had donuts.

Anything like that adds an extra like casual vibe where you you're not at a formal event the whole night. I don't know. I mean, I feel like we've kind of covered the basics there as far as, you know. You know what you should do, too? You know, you guys sound like you really go all out, but I think most people get like, at the start of the season, get like a navy suit and a black suit, and you're good. I don't know.

Yeah. You guys are going to go all out, but most people are going to not want to do that, and they're going to just want to be able to. Otherwise, you're going to be spending a lot of money. I specifically get navy and black. I just buy lots of them. I have a charcoal one. That's pretty cool.

That's different. That is cool. Yeah, I do like that one. I think you got to, I guess it depends on where the weddings are. I'll rock a tan suit here and there. Yeah, I do like that one. I think you got to, I guess it depends on where the weddings are. I'll wear a tan suit here and there. Oh, buddy. I don't look good in color. I just can't pull it off.

I don't like the way it looks, first of all, and I don't like the way I look in it. I don't think I look good in it. It's because you're Jewish. Yeah. I was trying to get a tan suit for this Italy wedding, and I got it, and it just doesn't look that good. I bet you look really good in it. I know, but.

Go try it on again with this color. I know, but. You have this glow again with this color. I know, but. You have this glow about you. It washes me. Oh, I have a tan right now, so I guess. Yeah. If I'm not tan, it washes me out, you know? Yeah, that's why tan suits are for the summer.

Because you got to wear them once you have a tan. We'll try to. I'll have you come over and I'll model for you. Get some shorts. Pull the LeBron. Yeah. That's funny because two days before he did that, I sent a picture. I sent a picture. It was a joke of the site I was looking on had the slim, they were called

like super skinny wedding shorts and they were like thigh tight, tiny shorts. And then you pulled the socks up, right? Yeah. And I sent them around as a joke. Like I found my Italy outfit and then LeBron was wearing it and then Draymond was wearing it. It's hot in the streets, bro. It's Bermuda.

It's a Bermuda look. Pull it off. You know John's going to have that. 100%. Nah, nah. Yeah, yeah. Especially because he Bermuda look. Pull it off. You know John's going to have that. 100%. Nah, nah. Yeah, yeah. Especially because he likes to think his calves are hot, too. So he's going to be like banging ass calves.

He's got fucking thunder thighs, too. So you're like massive. So figure out your gift. Figure out your clothes. Make sure you tip the bartender. Pretend you're confident. Dance, even if you're uncomfortable about it. Don't sit down too often.

And have yourself a hell of a summer. Comfy shoes. Comfy shoes is a great one. Comfy shoes, you know, they got to look good. But find yourself a comfy pair of shoes. Don't show up in some Reebok Velcros. And discreetly fuck somebody. Don't fuck on the dance floor, apparently, is the rule.

Yeah, do it quietly. You probably won't fuck a bridesmaid unless you're John, who has them all oh he's he's nodding yeah john's got them all locked up but uh if you do keep it discreet because they get really upset about that i think you know what the problem is it's not the girl that you're fucking it's the girl that's not getting fucked a lot of the times one of them is a sister too and you're not quite sure which one's a sister and when it's a family member definitely don't want to fuck a family member you don't want to fuck with their family that would be bad no that would be very bad. John's going to do that. I'm so sure. John has an uncanny ability to find the wrong people to fuck and fuck them.

He's not going to know it at the time, but he's going to do it. Yeah. He's got this radar. It's like, good, good, good, good, bad? Zoom in. And he knows he shouldn't, but he's just John. This podcast is over.